Author’s note : Everything’s free to use and monetize or paywall as you wish, just remember to credit me please. As I’m not a native English speaker, you can feel free to make slight changes to make it better, as long as it doesn’t change the whole story of course.
Summary, listener’s perspective : Your partner went grocery shopping a long time ago and you’re calling them to check up on them. Apparently a lot of things happened and stressed them a little too much, but they got help and they’ll finish it to prove to you they can handle it.
[ ] = stage directions
** = sound effects
[The speaker is at the supermarket wandering around, feel free to put crowd sounds, riding the cart etc… through all the script]
*Phone ringing\*
Uhm… Hello? Who is this?
You should be mistaken, I don’t have a girlfriend.
Yes. That’s my name. How… Oh. Wait. Did I… ?
Ah fuck…
Yes, we’re fine Ma’am. Don’t sound so worried.
I understand but…
Ma’am…
Oh! Shut up for a minute!
Too many questions. So, I don’t know. I guess we’re shopping since I have a cart in front of me and we seem to be… In a supermarket..
Yeah, so why are you asking if you already know we were supposed to go grocery shopping!
Whatever… No, I don’t know which one… They’re all the same honestly… Let me walk around to see if I can identify something…
[Speaker is walking around for a few second without saying anything]
…
[Speaker is stopping, they tone changed]
Hello?
Hi baby!! How are you doing? Why are you calling? Or did I call you?
Oh you did? Why?
Yes, it’s me. What’s wrong?
Oh… Really?
I’m sorry. But it’s fine, I promise.
I know baby but…
Why do you want to come? I can do this!
No I mean alone! I prepared a list and all, I can’t forget anything!
Uhm… wait.. Let me search for it…
[Speaker is searching in their bag]
Where did I put it…
Damn..
[Speaker is getting quieter]
…
[Back to the first tone of voice]
Ok. Ma’am. I don’t know where we are, really.. But it’ll be fine. We’re just going to finish this and go back home.
A list? Yes, I have one in my hand, it’s alright, please calm down.
I know, I can sense them around, they’re not far. It’s alright.
Oh god…
Ok… Toilet paper… Sexy…
Where is that…
[Speaker is walking again, searching for the stuff on the list]
Uhm… Ok, there we are… That’s done and then some soap…
Well, I’m staying with you on the phone because you seem completely panicked. So I’m showing you we got this.
Look… I don’t know what exactly happened that triggered it… But we’re alone in a big space full of strangers. Doing something important. I’m guessing that it’s a lot of stress for them and they needed me… It’ll be alright though.
Yeah, of course they’ll tell you they can do it. I’m sure they believe they can. And I’m sure they wanted to impress you and make you proud. But sometimes it’s fine to ask for help too.
Not like that! You don’t have to come, I’m here now. I got this. You don’t even know where we are. And you’re not going to come with your car. Have you not seen the price for gas?
I might not be around often but I keep an eye on the news.
Why do we need so many strawberries?
Uhm… I’m taking bananas too, I like that better.
[Speaker is getting quiet again, just walking]
…
[Change of tone, back to the partner one]
Baby? Are you here?
Yes, it’s me, I’m back. How did the cart fill itself?
Who?
Ohhh… But.. I could have.. I can do it!
I… There was this lady… She was searching for something and asked me. I didn’t know… I don’t know this place very well…
I don’t know why I didn’t go to the usual place!
Oh wait… They were out of gas! To put on the car. Did you see the price now?!
Oh… ok…
They might have seen it then… Yeah… I guess.. It was stressful because I didn’t know what to do. Where to go.. To get it.
Oh. I continued driving for a while… Because I… kinda froze. And I couldn’t park to look with the gps where to go… Well.. I could have! But.. Brain was silly and I couldn’t do it..
After a while I saw a sign for another supermarket and I followed it. I guess that’s where I am now.
What’s that noise?
Baby! It’s alright! You don’t have to come! I can do it! Especially if I’m not alone anymore. I mean.. I have help, we’ll do this!
I swear! There are not many more things on the list anyway. We can do this!
Wait… Why are there bananas here? I don’t like them. I’m going to put it back.
[Speaker is walking back to the fruits to put the bananas back!]
Alright. That’s done. So what’s left?
Some juices… It's on the other way. What else? Eggs, butter…
Ok! Let’s go!
It should be around here… Yes, got it! Then… That shouldn’t be far…
[Speaker is switching again]
…
Uhm… What the hell… Why am I here… What’s on the list? Eggs… How many… Hey! Ma’am? Still here?
Good, how many eggs do you want?
Alright, I got them.. What’s left? Juices… It’s on the other side… Wait! Where are my bananas!
I don’t care if they don’t like them! I do! I front sometimes! I can have things I like too! That’s not cool to only think of themselves!
I mean… That’s a fair point… But… I can’t know when I’ll be here! I’m here now.. And I want bananas…
What if I just took 1 or 2? Not too much, won’t be expensive!
Thank you, you’re kind. Crazy. But kind.
Have you not seen how you reacted earlier?! You *are* crazy!
I told you we’re fine. I bet they told you too. Have a little faith in us.
Yeah yeah… I understand… But honestly, we’ll tell you if it was that bad. We’re handling it quite well so far. Yes, a moment was overwhelming. And I had to come. But now we’re doing well.
Oh by the way! How do we pay? By card?
Do you know the code? In case that’s me in front when we’re at the checkout…
Alright, noted.
No not really, like in my head.
Really girl… I can memorize 4 digits!
Alright, alright… Give me a minute..
[Searching in the bag to get a pen and a piece of paper]
…
[Back to the partner tone]
I’m listening…
Uhm…. Baby, I know the code of my own card… Why do you want me to write it down?
Oh… Well, I just have the juices to get now. I think it’ll be fine.
Yeah… I’ll write it down anyway, just in case. I’m putting it on my right pocket, ok? You’ll tell them if they’re here and search for it?
Thank you baby. And…. I’m sorry about this… I wanted to do this…
I don’t know… To prove I’m capable..
I know. I am but it was just… A little too much I guess… I don’t think it would have happened if I could have gone to our usual place…
It’s alright though! I’ve got the juices! I have everything now. I’m going to the checkout and I’m coming home.
I’ll have to hang up while I’m paying.
Yes, I’ll call you back right after.
I promise. You’re the one who will call me if I don’t anyway!
Yeah, if you have to that means it’s probably not me on the other end…
But I’m not far away, baby, I’m not leaving. It was just too much for one time…
Oh yes, I’d love that! Thank you!
Yes yes! I’ll hurry up!
Love you too baby!

For context, I don’t think I’m that “good” at the game. I’m 28, work full time, have a girlfriend/life outside of gaming. I have been in the GC/C3 bubble since season 6. Always got my rewards but didn’t feel established in that rank. Missed out on s10 & s11 due to lack of hours AND skill. It also got it way way harder to get there, tbh. Players got better, I didn’t.
I took a good look at myself and decided that I wasn’t done. I’m not gonna be that washed old man juuust yet. Not gonna be that guy in c2 that “used to be GC” like this sub seems to be full of. So it was back to the grind! Spent hours and hours working on my dribbling, tried to master and I mean master my car control using rings, panic’s beach race chasing a time goal, anything I could use. Played 1’s and training only for about 3 months. Basically didn’t get complacent. I took the blame on myself for not being good enough, instead of projecting that frustration outwards.
Now? I’m 1550, and feeling like I will be here to stay for the next season. I am better than ever, and guess what? GC1 is also better than ever! The level is high right now, and of course it is! If I don’t keep grinding, I expect to be c3 in like 2 seasons because the people that are ALREADY better than 97-98% of players, are probably practicing, too.
I think you do need car control, you do need mechs, you do need to be a complete player to be at that level. Better than 99% of players? What do you think that gameplay looks like? I bet it includes DAR. So quit with that copium please.
IMO the people that are doing it with “no mechs” are rare, or are already so good at the game that they don’t need to use them. But you’re not that good and neither am I.
To sum it up, this sub is exhausting to read bc of the negativity. Yes, there’s problems with the game. Yes there’s smurfs, what’s up with UE5 or the future of the game that we love? Idk. But one thing I do know… it’s your fault and your fault only that you’re not GC like many seem to think they “could be”.
Would love to hear from some of the OG’s about the culture here and what GC is like now vs then.

"Ahem...Cinnaswirl cookies! Get your Cinnaswirl cookies!" Kokichi practiced in his announcer voice. It was Saturday afternoon. Every Saturday and Sunday up until the week before the surprise field trip, Hope's Peak was opened for two hours for the students volunteering to sell cookies. The students who volunteered placed their stands throughout various parts of the academy. Sayaka and Hina set theirs up in the cafeteria, Shuichi and Kaede in the auditorium, Rantaro and Kirumi in the lobby, Himiko outside the front entrance of the building, and Kokichi in the gym.
Himiko unfolded a table and placed the two tin bowls of cookies on it. Above her, she hung a dull sign announcing her chocolate chip cookies were for sale. She wasn't proud of it, but it was the best she could do in thirty minutes before rushing off to sell her cookies.
"Himiko, you decided to sell cookies, too?" Kaede asked as she and Shuichi passed by her.
"Nyeh...yeah," Himiko mumbled.
"You're not selling them with Kokichi?" Kaede asked. "Are you two fighting?"
"No. It was Kokichi's idea to compete against each other," Himiko explained. "Boyfriend against girlfriend. He thought it would be something fun and different."
"Hm, that actually does sound like fun!" Kaede admitted. "Don't you think, Shuichi? I bet I could sell more cookies than you!"
"I guess it would be kind of fun," Shuichi agreed. "But, I prefer working together. I think I get things done better that way, rather than doing things on my own."
"Maybe we should try competing against each other at least once," Kaede said.
"Ah, well, I guess that would be okay," Shuichi said.
"Well, we should get going," Kaede said. "I hope you sell a lot of cookies, Himiko!" Shuichi looked doubtfully at Himiko's sign.
"Good luck, Himiko," he said with a polite smile.
"Nyeh...thanks. I'm gonna need it," Himiko muttered. With that, Kaede and Shuichi were gone, leaving Himiko to utter a discouraged sigh to herself. She looked up to see students approaching the school. Many saw but ignored her as they entered the building. Meanwhile, Kokichi had his first customer inside.
"Hey, Hiro!" Kokichi exclaimed with a devious grin. "You wanna buy some Cinnaswirl cookies?" Hiro looked at the cookies. Beautiful swirls of cinnamon designs were etched onto the cookies.
"Whoa! These look pretty sick!" Hiro exclaimed, picking a cookie up and examining it. "What are they exactly?"
"They're just regular, ol' cinnamon cookies," Kokichi replied, holding out a cookie to Hiro. "Go ahead! Try one for ¥500!" Hiro paid and bit into the cookie and chewed cautiously.
"Hey! These are actually...pretty..." Suddenly, he began panting. He fanned his mouth. "H-Hot! Why are...these cookies so...hot?!" He threw the cookie to the ground and fanned his face with both his hands. "WATER!! I, like...need water!!" He started running around in circles, hyperventilating.

"Hm? Water won't help," Kokichi said, then pulled out a giant jug of milk and poured some into a cup. "Try milk instead! That'll be another ¥500!" Hiro reached into his pockets to grab whatever amount of money he had.
"Here!! Just take it, or whatever!" he yelled and immediately reached for the milk, gulping it down. "I need more!"
"Soooorry..." Kokichi said, hiding the milk back under the table. "That was all the milk I had. Maybe you should go get some more at the convenience store! Make sure to exit out that way!" He pointed to the exit door of the gym that led right outside.
"Whatever woooorks!" Hiro cried, running out of the gym. Kokichi figured if Hiro left the school grounds through that door, he wouldn't be able to warn the other students who were already inside about his devil cookies. Grinning deviously, he counted the money. In his haste, Hiro had thrown him ¥3000, making a total of ¥3500.
"Nee-heehee...looks like I'm the Cookie Monster now!" Kokichi murmured with satisfaction.
***
Back at the front of the school, Himiko sat in silence, waiting for one customer to show up. She was half-relieved, half-disappointed to see Tenko, Angie, and Tsumugi walk up to her stand. They were basically her "pity friends."
"Oh, wow, Himiko! I didn't know you were selling cookies!" Tenko cried. "I bet they taste amazing!"
"What cookies do you have for us, Himiko?" Angie chirped. Himiko opened the tin bowls.
"Oh, my...they're just plain chocolate chip cookies," Tsumugi mumbled, feeling slightly disappointed.
"So? What's wrong with that?!" Tenko asked, frowning at Tsumugi.
"I'll bet they are delicious, Himiko!" Angie said.
"Nyeh...are you gonna buy any?" Himiko asked.
"Ooo, I will take this kind," Angie said, pointing to the soft chocolate chip cookies. Tenko glared at her.

"Well, I'll take the other cookies!" she said, pointing to the crunchy ones.
"That'll be ¥500," Himiko said. Angie paid and took a cookie.

"I'll give you ¥1000!" Tenko offered. "I am your best friend after all!"
"No, that's okay, Tenko," Himiko said, and Tenko reluctantly paid her the ¥500. The last thing Himiko wanted was pity money. It would only make her feel worse. She turned to Tsumugi. "Nyeh...are you gonna buy any, Tsumugi?"

"No..." Tsumugi answered quietly. "Sorry, Himiko. I may be plain, but I like for my cookies to not be so plain. No offense."
"WOOOOW!!! THESE COOKIES ARE AMAZING!!!" Tenko yelled. Then, she turned to Tsumugi. "How dare you not try Himiko's cookies, Tsumugi! They're the best cookies I've ever eaten! And I bet Himiko baked these all by herself like the talented mage she is!"

"No...I didn't," Himiko said.

"Well, you probably did most of the work, so that's why they taste so good!" Tenko exclaimed.
"Yeah, sure...whatever," Himiko muttered.
"These cookies are absolutely divine, Himiko!" Angie said. "Perhaps you had Atua's help in making them?"
"Of course she didn't, Angie!" Tenko said. "She doesn't need help from your god...if he even exists, anyways!"
"Nyeh...I didn't have help from Atua, Angie," Himiko answered. "I had help from other friends of mine."
"You have friends besides me, Himiko?!" Tenko cried in horror. "Wh-Who are they?!"
"Just friends," Himiko said. "Anyways, is that all?"
"Aaah! I don't have anymore money!" Tenko cried, checking her purse. "I-I need to go get a job! That way, I'll buy all of your cookies, Himiko!" Himiko sighed.
"I want other people to try my cookies, too, Tenko," she said.
"Have you had any other customers at all, Himiko?" Tsumugi asked. Himiko gulped and shook her head.

"Oh..." Tsumugi mumbled sympathetically.
"Well, I'm sure more customers will approach you, Himiko! Just give it time!" Angie said with an optimistic smile.
"Yeah! And if they don't, I'll be sure to get that job so I can buy all of your cookies!" Tenko said. The three girls wished Himiko good luck and waved goodbye. Himiko sighed forlornly. Having her friends buy all of her cookies only made her feel incompetent. As the afternoon wore on, she waited and waited for more customers, but none came. She hung her head dejectedly as a couple of tears forced their way down her cheek. Why had she even bothered?
Part Six
After two hours passed, Kokichi counted up the money he had made. Sifting through the last of his con money, he had made a total of ¥75000. He stuffed the money into his pocket and headed out to the front of the school, where Himiko was.
"Hey, Himiko! Look at all the money I made!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Nee-heehee...I got the most money from Byakuya! You should have seen the moment he bit into one of my cookies! He-...Wait, what are you doing?" Himiko was ripping up her sign in anger and sadness.
"I quit," she muttered. Kokichi stared at her.
"Why?" he asked. "How much did you make?"
"Not as much as you...just like I said would happen," Himiko answered bitterly. She clenched her fists as she tried to hold back tears. Kokichi went to the jar on her table and saw the total of ¥1000 from Tenko and Angie.
"I'm guessing that's from Tenko and Angie?" he said.
"Yeah," Himiko curtly replied.
"Himiko, you can just try again tomorrow," Kokichi pointed out.

"I'm not going to," Himiko said, throwing her sign into a nearby trashcan.
"So that's just it? You're going to give up...just like that?" Kokichi asked, frowning. Himiko couldn't contain her tears.
"Yes, Kokichi! Okay?!" she cried in frustration as she angrily wiped her tears. "I've humiliated myself enough, so I'm giving up!!" Kokichi firmly grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye.
"No, you're not, Himiko," he said. Himiko yanked her hand away.
"I don't care about this stupid competition anymore!" she yelled. "Just leave me alone!"
"This isn't about the competition anymore, Himiko," Kokichi said. "This is about you now!"
"Yeah, like, how I keep telling you that I can't do this stupid cookie sale, and I didn't wanna do this stupid cookie sale in the first place!" Himiko said.
"Then why did you do it, Himiko?!" Kokichi cried.
"Because...because...I'm an idiot, okay?!" Himiko sobbed. "I thought I'd be able to do this, but all I found out is that I'm a big, huge loser!"
"See, that's your problem right there!" Kokichi said in frustration. "That piss-poor attitude of yours is the reason for your failures, Himiko!" Himiko stared at him with a hurt expression. "I wanted to do this competition for fun, Himiko," Kokichi continued. "It's one thing if you didn't wanna do it because you didn't like the idea, or that it would have been better if we simply worked together, or something. I would have understood that. But the reason why you didn't want to do it is because you think so poorly of yourself that you don't think you're capable of doing anything! You seriously need to cut that out!" Himiko hung her head in shame.
"I don't know how," she wailed, balling her fists against her eyes in frustration and sadness. "Sometimes...I feel so...worthless! So...useless!" She looked at Kokichi with a tear-stained face. "I'm not smart or confident, or able to do things like you are." Kokichi sighed.
"Himiko, you have got to stop comparing yourself to me," he said firmly. "You're not me, and I don't expect you to be like me." He gripped her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "You're you. You're your own person. And you should be smart, confident, and capable of doing things your way." Himiko gasped as she sniffed and wiped her tears away. Kokichi sighed deeply. "Listen to me, Himiko, there might come a day when you and I might not be together anymore, whether it's because we broke up, or I died, or whatever. I want you to be able to stand on your own two feet without feeling helpless, or stuck, or too scared to do anything. I want it so that, if I'm not around, you'd be able to make it in this world on your own. And if you needed assistance, you could go to Tenko and Angie as friends, not as your caretakers who'll coddle you and hide you from the world. You can't hide from this world. Besides, what if something were to happen to them, too? Who would you turn to then?" Himiko shivered at the thought. "That's why I want you to stop thinking of yourself as some incompetent, dumb little girl, Himiko. That's not what you are. You are smart and you are capable. You just need to see it for yourself." Himiko nodded in response, tears still streaking down her cheeks. Kokichi wrapped his arms around her. Himiko laid her head against his chest as she continued to sob.
"I'm sorry, Kokichi," she said in a shaky whisper.
"Don't be," Kokichi said, giving her back a comforting rub. Then, he chuckled. "After all...a GiRl ShOuLdN't ApOlOgIzE sO EaSiLy," he said, mocking Kaito. Through her tears, Himiko laughed. Kokichi laughed along with her. Himiko looked up at him, smiling gratefully. Kokichi smiled back and softly kissed her forehead. "I love you, Himiko."
"I love you, too, Kokichi," Himiko sniffed. They gave each other a soft kiss on the lips. Now calm, Himiko laid her head against Kokichi's chest once again and squeezed him tighter, never wanting to let him go.

I'll do my best to recount this, but I admit it's tough to reach back and remember the surprise that came with youthful innocence as you meet your own sexual experiences, and nothing is ever as it was described to be, expected to be, some things are worse, some things are great despite seeming yucky at a glance, and some things just don't matter as much as others said.
Best to describe "virginal me" as someone dedicated to her family's devout Christian faith. Never really questioning the faith itself, I didn't totally get how this stuff would work in a practical way as I started having urges and desires towards boys. And I thought I was just a-waitin' to be some homemaking wife, a baby factory... basically everything that I was told I wanted. I believed that I must want these things too!
I'll say this much - I'd made it to high school around this time, and this was a fairly average age for many women to try sexual things. Won't get more specific than that, just in case. And I became very aware of the sort of 'fresh meat' mentality that makes young girls practically competitive with each other -- you know, the things we'll do to keep a boys interest.
So, sure. I had a few boyfriends. My first real kiss, I remember praying for most of the night because I was afraid I liked it too much, and certainly would become a whore overnight, and what's up with these hormones doin' witchcraft without my permission, anyways?
Anyways, in a tale as old as time, I assume, a new family moves in up the street, I'm immediately crushing on the son of this family, and he seemed older, but not by much. I was wrong on this one, he was 22, but I didn't know that, and it certainly wasn't love, but it was at least lust at first sight. I could fin the sin boling inside of me already. Tried to ignore him.
And by trying to ignore him, I mean I'd get as gussied up as possible to simply take a walk around the block while he played basketball alone and shirtless outside, daydreaming about what I might do if he said hello.
Let's try to speed up to get to the parts that probably matter more to you. Oddly, I don't quite remember how we got formally introduced to each other, but we started spending some time together. We were the only people on this whole block under 30 so it just worked out this way. He (and his family) drank, smoked cigarettes, and some other inhalable things. Before him (and we'll call him "Alan"), I thought those were the direct paths to hell. Watching him consume? It felt grown up, mature, like I was living a taboo just for being nearby and able to smell the smoke and beer breath on him.
Before too long he asked me about guys at my school, I did the bashful "no one really notices me" response which was ultimately true but I also had made many concerted decisions and efforts to not get noticed -- I was seen as a goody two shoes church girl and was the butt of many, many jokes. He asked what types of guys I like, and I told him I didn't know, and that was true. Listed off some virtues like honesty, being funny, attractive, and he gave me a "well, that's me". We talked about the difference in age, I laughed it off knowing he couldn't be serious, but asked him the same in return. I got a pretty different answer from him than mine. His list was quite a bit more shallow, but I figured it just covered the surface. He went on about not believing me, that high school boys were dumb (and they often are), that I'm too pretty to be single -- that one sent me over the moon.
Time blurs a lot of this. What felt like weeks of coming up with excuses to hang out with him between when I got home from school and before my parents came home was probably less than two weeks. I'll just get into some nitty gritty now, this is a bit forward in the story, but I don't see much reason to dwell on the priors.
Alan was almost a foot taller than me. Had longish blonde hair, and had that very nice athletic build from working off the alcohol playing basketball alone in the front yard. I loved watching his hips with each jump.
A specific day where I "accidentally" walked in front of his house on the way to mine, which meant I basically had to walk around the block backwards and undetected after getting off of the bus, he was outside smoking, beer in hand. Motioned me over, I don't recall all that was said, but he was talking about how much it sucked to be single. I told him again I'd never been in anything serious with a guy before. I was invited in, but this was the beginning of something different.
He lived in a converted carport/garage attached to his family's house. Just gray cinderblock walls surrounding the possessions of a man-child with very little ambition. Skull bongs with candle wax dripped all over them, a dusty loveseat, a mattress on the floor, no bedframe. No need for curtains as there were no windows. Just a door that would lead outside, and a door that would lead to the rest of the house, which I'd never seen before. But there we were, alone, and he asked if I wanted to see what he really looks for in a girl. Of course I did! And in no time flat, a few clicks of a remote control, and porn was playing on his dingy TV screen from a DVD player.
I'd seen some porn out of curiosity, and some other exposure, but not exactly a large amount of it. Had a general working knowledge of the most common things one might see, and a mental idea of what sets of genitalia looked like, as well as what they produce/excrete. Does that sound clinical? It should. At the time, most of my sexual knowledge was either general functionality, and a lot of "things women did to land a man but didn't really like doing". One of those things I'd heard even from my own mom was happening on the screen with precious little notice: an impossibly busty woman was blowing someone. Of course I pretended like this was no big deal and I watched porn allllll the time.
He went on to tell me that "any girl of his" would be really into doing that for him whenever he wanted. I'd asked if that had been common for him with ex's. He'd said something like "no, and that's why they are ex's. If I could get blowjobs anytime I wanted, I would literally never want anything else in bed", and there was a laugh, but a bit of seriousness to it as he looked at me and waited for my response. We talked a little more about the intricacies - sometimes it'd be fast like what was happening onscreen, sometimes it'd be really slow so he'd lay back and enjoy...then the money shot happened, conversation ceased as the random busty lady got her face coated. This is why I asked the million dollar question about if he expected to shellac his next girlfriends face with each blowjob. He told me, no. The rationale was that women only did that in porn so you could see that he really finished. HIS girls would swallow it.
Listen, I know how insane this probably sounds, but the idea that you'd ever consume that stuff was just like science fiction to me. Figured that if it tasted half okay, no one would ever have kids, really.
He used the remote, went to yet another POV blowjob scene, kind of groaning in happiness as he'd say things like "yeah, take it girl" or "yeah, you know you love being a dickeater". I hadn't heard him talk like this. Also, my hormones were somehow excited by it all.
I thought about things quickly; my understanding was that blowjobs were a pretty submissive act, but most of the women in my church seemed to submit to their husbands, and since I didn't recall anyone in the 'scare you out of premarital sex' sermons saying that blowjobs counted (because I really was this naive), I started wondering to myself if this was something I'd be okay with doing. Seemed like a direct line from giving Alan head to being his girlfriend.
But next to me, he started rubbing the bulge in his shorts. Over the cloth, but with a thumb tucked inside, like he'd planned to go exploring, but remembered I was in front of him. Even my naive ass knew he was hard. This seemed like a good time to ask him if he wanted me to leave, and he said I shouldn't since we were enjoying "the show" together. I won't pretend my hormones weren't twirling like crazy, but it was also pretty scary to me then. I'd try to stay on topic but ask other questions. One was along the lines of "If you had a girlfriend that did that for you whenever, what else would you expect out of her", and his answer was basically "do what I like in bed, the rest works itself out, and I probably wouldn't care past that". How many times a week? "You mean how many times a day", he'd say with a guffaw.
Mentally, I was weighing things, did I want to be his girlfriend so badly that I'd jump right into the unknown? Did I want to be a girlfriend at all? My hormones said yes to the latter, but weren't immediately sure of the former. I responded with something I don't quite recall, but measured up to "if all you want are blowjobs. I bet I'd be great at being your girlfriend"
He motioned towards his zipper and asked something like " do you mind if I...?", trailing off. I genuinely thought he wanted to excuse himself to rub one out, so I said I didn't mind. It was that fast that he had his dick out, stroking himself, and asked with all the gusto in the world: do I want to try it?
This, I remember like it was yesterday.
I said I'd have to be his girlfriend for that! "Want to be my girlfriend, then?" I'd mentioned I didn't know how to do it. "I'll show you how" That's all it takes? "If you swallow, you're definitely my girlfriend"
This girl didn't have a damn clue how relationships began, were handled, and every old adage I'd ever been told about sex acts that "keep men happy" came flooding into my mind. Maybe this was how you get a real boyfriend? Technically this "isn't sex"? It's like my life flashed before my eyes as he guided my head down. I looked down until I got too close to focus my eyes, seeing his blondish-brown pubic hair while he stroked his cock next to me. With a sigh and more butterflies in my stomach than most forests, I said "where do you want me?" and just that quickly, his hand went away from his cock and just guided my head riiiiiight down to it.
As soon as his cock, damp with precum, touched my lips, I instinctively opened my mouth and let him slide right in. "Showing me how to do it" meant "putting his hand on the back of my head and using my mouth in place of his hand". Beyond the obvious, he actually wasn't too pushy. It felt like a lot at the time. I marveled at how much bigger the head of his cock seemed in my mouth than just looking at it. No idea if he was looking at the screen or looking at me, I heard him cheering me on, quietly: "good girl", "just like that", "move your tongue more... JUST like that" while he kept my head going at a steady pace.
When he said "it always takes me longer to finish when I drink, sorry", I was pretty confused - I realized I didn't know how long these even took on average. He paused at one point to swig from his beer can, letting go of my head, saying "keep going baby". I'd never been called baby. I'd never been called a good girl. My brain and heart loved it, and I started mentally assuming this was now my fiance because I genuinely was that naive.
He was good with direction, yes, but no real moans. I didn't know I was to expect them, but for this reason, I had no metric to decide how long I'd been doing this, how long I should expect to be doing it, or anything. Just... swallow when he's done. I got more into it as my heart got more involved, and showed some initiative by choosing to bob my head faster (I really didn't know my way around a penis back then, so I assumed speed was the key), which got him to say something like "damn baby, you really like this!", when I was thinking "I don't know about that, I just really like YOU", but it instead came out as a muffled "mmhmm" -- because I didn't want him to think I was having a bad time.
In the moment, I didn't know if I was "having a good time". Looking back, I'm fairly sure that I was thinking "I really want him to be my boyfriend and this is how to make that happen", and my faith wasn't really entering my mind much once I felt him push my head. He never went so far as to gag me, but did keep steadily guiding me. Also, in looking back, I'm not sure why I wanted a boyfriend so badly -- the inexplicable desires of a teenage girl, I'd guess?
Back to the situation?
His grip on my head tightened, and I only had a second to think to myself "I must be doing something right" before he shot spurt after spurt after spurt of cum into my unsuspecting mouth. He grunted with each shot, and it was only really as his orgasm subsided that I really started getting anxious about what I'm supposed to be doing. Was I supposed to swallow it and leave? Do I take his dick out of my mouth first and then swallow, or try to do it with him shoved against my tonsils?
That was mostly answered with him pulling my head up, telling me it got really sensitive. He looked happy and almost sleepy. And then... "you going to swallow?"
This might be hard to believe, but I wasn't even thinking about if I liked the taste or not. It was all so new, especially this texture. I nodded that I would, and had to fight making a face as I choked it back, it hit my bitter tastebuds, and I shuddered a bit, and the aftertaste hit me of the saltiest and most bitter concoction I could have ever imagined.
Until I went home, everything that happened for the next few minutes is there in my memory as a blur, but I do recall some very specific things. Most of all, the main question on my mind was "... well, what happens now?" - I'd just done something I'd been told I was supposed to hate doing, but I didn't hate it. I swallowed, which I was told was the worst and it made you a total ho, but I'd only done it the one time, and didn't feel like a total ho. Overall, I was shocked at how much I didn't mind it. Not only did I not mind it, I wasn't opposed to doing it again, and I felt that way immediately. Wasn't sure if this was me weighing if I was ready to do this again, but that's getting way ahead of the story.
When I gulped it down, I sat straight up and looked directly at him, assuredly waiting for some kind of cue about what the hell people do after a blowjob, you've swallowed his cum -- literally everything I knew told me he was supposed to be falling asleep now, and he very much wasn't asleep while he shoved his cock back into his shorts.
What came next was a negotiation that I didn't realize was a negotiation. After I said "how did I do", and he'd told me I did really well, but I'd learn more over time, and the best thing I did was "swallow like a champ". Asking him if most girls did that for him, he'd said "no, and that's why I'm single". Knowing what I know years later, that's arguably true! Just a creative way to put it.
But those questions started pouring out of him as the afterglow subsided, all of which I greeted with the same answer: "If you were my girlfriend you'd do that whenever I said?", "You're gonna swallow every time?", "Would you do it first thing in the morning if I said so?", "You're okay with me not doing that for you, I hate doing that for girls?", "Wow, you really liked that cum, didn't you?" is the last one he asked with a huge grin. I answered yes to all of it -- I didn't see a problem with those things, really. It was only when he talked about me "liking cum" that I was fibbing. I didn't hate it, but I didn't know what to make of it, and again, was mostly surprised that it was nowhere near as bad as I was led to believe it'd be. Besides, I'm getting a boyfriend!
He peck-kissed me after a hug, and led me to his door. Told me to not worry about knocking, to just come in whenever -- that kind of trust bowled me over, I must say. And of course, leaned in and whispered in my ear "but you know we got to keep this secret for now, a lot could happen, you're young..." and in the moment, I agreed. I had my own reasons for thinking that, but they hit me like a sledgehammer as I walked out the door and made my way home.
I wondered exactly why I was so hellbent on him. He had no job. No car. No license. If he had friends, I hadn't seen any of them (but he did, and that's a story for later). Breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn't going to have to explain my brand new dating situation to my parents because we were going to keep it quiet. Also, I panicked that it'd somehow be very obvious to my parents when I got home that I was still a virgin, but had done something sexual. That was silly, and sure, I hid it, but probably because I started hiding myself away from them.
That was a Friday. I was in my bedroom just about to go to sleep, when an inebriated Alan tapped on my window; he wanted me to know that he wanted to be up around 10 AM, so I should probably make plans to go over and "get used to waking" him up that way. I smiled with wild ideas about the fun we'd have together after I woke him up and we got the blowjob situation out of the way. Oh, I was so naïve.
SO naïve. But I agreed, and he told me he was excited to see his good girl in the morning, and I melted.
I'll pick up from here next time.

Content warning: child abuse
Strap yourselves in, this one is a doozy!
I (40F) have been divorced for 9 years. In the divorce decree I was given primary custody with him (wasband) getting visitations every other weekend, and we were each allowed to claim one of the two children on our taxes. For the almost 11 years we've been together (We dated for the two years wasband and I were separated but not officially divorced) my second husband’s (husbab) government disability has provided for all our financial needs. (We were in a semi open/sorta poly-ish marriage and husbab was our third at the time of our separation) In 2021 I was finally able to secure a job for a bit before chronic illness issues made working impossible for me altogether…but that's another story. When I filed my taxes for that year I got a notification that said that one or more of my dependents was already claimed on someone else's taxes for the year. I thought WHOOPS! I must have used the wrong child on my tax return! I'll switch it to the other one, that's my bad…. No I switched and got the SAME notification. Someone else had already claimed my dependent…so I removed that child's info and sent it through with the info of just the two kiddos I've had with husbab. It went through just fine. Fast forward to 2022 taxes. Husbab now has a company and even though it's not making a profit right now, we still have to file both business and personal taxes despite still only living off of his disability. No big deal. The company that did our taxes for us contacts us and…YOU GUESSED IT! Someone else is claiming your dependent on their taxes! Now for a little context, and warning here for child abuse, wasband was verbally and emotionally abusive of me and very very controlling and he was also verbally and physically abusive to my two oldest children. At one point he scrubbed #1’s arm so hard it nearly drew blood because they got into my makeup while I was napping. (they were 3 at the time) He also watched adult videos with #1 in the room while I was napping, but that was “okay because the volume was turned all the way down”... I had to explain to a distraught 3 year old why “the people on Daddy's computer were hurting each other.” He had also shaken my then infant child (#2), because they wouldn't stop crying, not once, but twice. And told me while I was in that delirious state right before you fall asleep. Which he knew from the 5 years we'd been married was the best time to tell me something he wanted me to forget. That had been the straw that broke this Mama's back once I remembered because husbab had told me he'd witnessed wasband stepping on #1’s ankle with all his considerable (300+ lbs) weight, in steel toed boots, and them crying “Daddy you're hurting me!” And then husbab swooping in to “save the princess” like it was a game…After we'd separated he had watched #1 & #2 while I went on a weekend vacation with my then boyfriend now husbab. (I know, shouldn't have left them with him, but he'd begged and promised he'd changed and like an absolute fool, I have him another chance) During this time he beat #1’s bottom black and blue because they, then 5 years old, didn't rake his girlfriend's back yard right. Five years old. No instruction. Just “go rake the yard, here's a rake”... He got arrested for that and somehow managed to plead down to a misdemeanor and served no time in jail… one weekend when he had the kids, when he was supposed to bring them back a police officer showed up and told me I couldn't have my kids back because wasband had called to report that #2 had a black eye when wasband picked them up from us. This was not true and I had time stamped pictures on my phone from that morning to prove it. The shiner that my child came home with… He also slept with our mutual girlfriend while I was on vacation with #1 even though we all three had agreed there would be no hanky panky without all three of us present when we first started our relationship together, but that's a fairly minor infraction by comparison IMHO Oh! He also told me I should have an abortion when I told him I was pregnant for both #1 & #2! 🙃 Back to the story…we printed out our tax paperwork and mailed it in claiming all four of my kids because wasband hasn't contacted us since before we moved out of state, nearly 7 years ago now and we only get small child support payments very sporadically over the years, sometimes only when he receives his tax return. We attached an explanation of the situation and we received our tax return that year no problem. This year we filed our taxes again through the same company. Can you guess the issue we're running into?! I bet you can! YOUR DEPENDENTS HAVE ALREADY BEEN CLAIMED ON SOMEONE ELSE'S TAXES! There's quite a bit more shenanigans that occurred during the separation, some that I will admit were my mistake and I really should have waited until he was told we were separated. I'm human, I screwed up 😏 I admit it and I don't regret it. So, would I be the ahole if I reported wasband for commiting tax fraud?

First time post, so please forgive me if the format is horrible.
I (50M) have been dating my girlfriend (48F) for a year and a half. We were introduced on a dating app. Prior to meeting for the first time, the conversation was great. She was fairly new to dating and I had been miserable with all the broken or emotionally unavailable women who I kept meeting on the apps and would do a one and done dinner date most of the time with me wanting the check after 5 minutes. Names are changed for privacy, but lets call her Steph. Messaging with Steph was GREAT. I have had convos like this in the past though, and after meeting, decided that maybe their initial chats weren't genuine or they would say they didn't care about money and then go on for 2 hours of dinner about their upcoming vacay and how much it costs and they are helicoptering into the place and it's next to George Clooney's vacation residence...GET ME OUTTA THIS DATE! Important to note is that I would focus on only one person at a time and not talk to 10 or more people at a time. You won't see the needle if your constantly playing with the hay. So, I was optimistic with Steph, but not overly optimistic. During our initial messages I told her my life story, my likes, my dislikes, my past relationship traumas, and things that I worked on very hard from my last LTR that left me broken. Specifically, my last girlfriend (Susan) whom I lived with for about 18 mos. with about a 3 year relationship in total. We had history from high school but it was brief. I had more intense HS relationships but this one I always wondered how she was and where she ended up. Fast forward to when I was 45 and she was 43 she reached out and we reconnected. It was definitely intense, as I'd fantasized about just spending time with her over my lifetime up until she found me. There were definitely red flags that I chose to ignore (idiot!!). Before we even lived together, I became aware she was trying to make me jealous at times. I called her out and Susan's response was "Well, it would be flattering to me if you were a little bit jealous". That seemed wrong and cringy to me, but I told her I was SUPER secure and never had been jealous in my life and I would never be jealous. Well, she did prove me wrong. I don't believe that she wanted other men. I also don't believe that she wanted the attention or validation. I think she was a shy girl in high school and I was a player who took her virginity, but actually never played around or even wanted to while we were a young couple. Before and after her, I had streaks of being a bad boy. But with her or with other girls I would be in a relationship with, I took the relationship seriously. Just when I was single I was kind of a mix of party animal and ladies man. As our adult relationship developed, she liked to make it look like she was available to other men. She was fairly attractive and would get looks every time we went out. She would tell me how a coworker started messaging her at night when I was out of town on my many business trips and the conversation would last late into the night, but was innocent. Or how a dad of her daughters volleyball team would be sitting so close that other moms would make mention and he would say suggestive things that only Susan could hear at volleyball tournaments even though he had a girlfriend, but knew Susan was recently divorced. However, she would let me know she was nervous these innocent conversations could lead to more than just friendly. It upset me. Looking back, it was definitely her way to break me. It worked! I would ask her to engage and make it like she wasn't available. I did ask her to make her FB picture one of me and her...but the recent divorce made her hesitant as it would upset her kids because of the freshness of her divorce. I know that was the beginning of me becoming insecure. Asking someone to change their FB? Never been that guy, nor thought I ever would be. There were lots of other things going on as well, with lies and gaslighting. I requested we go to counseling to figure things out because it was during covid at this time, my older parents were terrified to have me over for a visit, much less give me a place to stay. I'm self employed and work was shut down, so I was hesitant to look for my own place. I just continued to put up with the abuse and became more and more broken. Our counselor told me I was no good to Susan or anyone the emotionally broken state I was in. I stayed in that relationship for another 9 months getting worse and worse. When I finally called it off in December of 2020 I was completely broken and never suffered after a break up like this. I could barely move for months and my head was just foggy all the time. I had moved back to the city my kids were at. Little by little, I healed and went to therapy for myself and realized that it wasn't the loss that hurt me so bad, it was the trauma that I allowed to be inflicted on my that made my pain during recovery so overwhelming. It took 5 or 6 months and I started slowly dating. But looking very intently for red flags and feeling zero guilt when quickly moving on from someone I didn't feel immediate chemistry with or see red flags at the beginning. So many broken people in their forties and fifties or people who haven't worked through their baggage from last or last several relationships. Everyone has baggage at this age, but you have to constantly work at unpacking it to lessen the load if you expect to have a healthy relationship. And you have to be choosy with the person you choose to pursue as a partner. When I started talking to Steph, I would tell her that we are all broken at this age, but finding someone who's jagged edges match up to your own jagged edges. The first time we met it was EXPLOSIVE for me. She was gorgeous and kind and I couldn't help myself as I put my hand on the small of her back the entire first date. We ended up Ubering first to her place and then me home. We made out in the Uber until she got embarrassed and made me stop. In the two years between Susan and Steph, I never kissed or touched anyone on the first date. I didn't want to send the wrong impression. I was looking for a love connection and didn't want anyone to mistake me as a man looking for a hookup or to play around. I wanted something serious. Steph and I immediately started going out alot. We really enjoyed each other. We introduced our kids (teens and adults) probably too soon, but we both knew this was going to last. We enjoyed anything with live music to include cover bands at a local dive bar or mainstream concerts to include almost every genre. Around six months, she was going to a big concert at an MLB stadium where tickets were purchased long before we even met. Luckily (or maybe not) a single ticket became available as well as a hotel reservation and Steph jumped all over it to have me as her date to this concert. Steph's long time good friends, Mike (50s M) and his wife Emily (50F) were there with Mike and Emily's neighbors, Josh (late 30s M) and his wife Jessica (late 30s F) were there as well. There were others in the group but were not with us at the end of the night. As the headliner was winding down, we were not in the stadium seats, but in a club area with round tables and chairs. Last call was a long time ago. We all had too much to drink. I left to go to the bathroom as as I walked up, I saw Josh pouring beer into Steph's empty cup. The cup had been empty for a while and Josh had a can still full of beer. I stood behind Steph and Josh. The music was loud and Josh's wife was up by the railing away from her husband and Mike and Emily were off to the right. I heard Josh tell Steph "I gave you some beer". Steph was just dancing a little and had a hat on with her head down just enjoying the music. Josh got louder and said "I gave you beer, you need to drink it". Steph still just ignored him. Josh now puts his arm around her, pulls her into him, and yells "I gave you some beer, you need to fucking drink it". I was kind of in shock a little. I didn't know anyone very well but Steph and I'd only met Josh once and he barely acknowledged Steph and didn't act like I existed. Now Josh puts Steph in a very aggressive headlock and in a very shrill and mean tone yells into her ear "I gave you some FUCKING beer and you better FUCKING drink it". At this, Steph pulls her head out, pushes Josh and turns to see me. She walks behind me to completely hide from Josh. I turned to her with my back to Josh and asked if she was OK. She stated she needed to go to the bathroom. We left for the bathroom and while we walked, she mumbled how alot of the time she's oblivious, but right now, she's not. She told me there had been a couple things in the past to include a comment by Josh's wife that made Steph feel something might be off. It sounded to me like Josh might have a crush on Steph and his wife was aware but not upset. I told her to stay by me and I'd keep her safe. When we got back from the bathroom the concert was over and Josh started yapping at Steph about drinking Fireball. Something about an old bet and she was going to drink a whole bottle that night and he had the bet on video and it was time to pay up. He started getting Mike into the mix and both were teasing (harassing) my girl about drinking fireball. Mike was completely unaware of what had transpired as the music was loud and he and his wife were off to the side. Mike was just having fun with his long time and good friend Steph. I didn't think Josh was just having fun. I was definitely seeing red and I knew Steph was wanting to get out of the situation. I told Josh to knock it off and Steph would not be having any fireball that night. He asked what I was going to do about it. I told him I would protect my girl if I needed to. Now he starts in about fighting and tells Mike that I want to fight them both. I'm much larger than both and in fairly good shape for a 50 year old. I wasn't scared of Josh, just pissed. As we headed to toward the stairwells of the stadium, Josh kept yelling how I wanted to fight him and Mike. Mike and his wife were ahead of us a little bit. Josh leaves his wife's side and comes toward us and spanks Steph on her ass. It was chaotic as you can imagine 35,000 drunk people heading out of the stadium all at once. In the stairwell, Steph and I had the lead with our party right behind us and about a million strangers all heading to the exits with us. Josh continued to harass me about wanting to fight him and Mike. Finally Josh's wife spoke up and told him to knock it off. She explained that I didn't say I wanted to fight anyone, but I would protect Steph if needed. We left for our hotel and they wen to a close by bar. Over the next several days, Steph and I discussed and fought how to address things. I knew that Mike and his wife were very close with Steph as well as Josh and his wife. I knew I would have to be around Josh again. Steph insisted that he was a good family man and just drunk and was choosing to just let it go. Steph also explained that Mike and Emily would be mortified if this was brought up. First off, Josh was at fault, not us. Their feelings shouldn't be negative toward me or Steph. Secondly, I'm a good family man and had alot to drink that night, but didn't touch any other women or assault them. Same with Mike. I only saw him holding his wife. I didn't want to confront Josh. I asked if we could sit down with Mike and Emily, explain what happened, so next time I'm forced to be around Josh, if he started acting up, Mike or Emily could be aware, and just tell Josh to leave Steph alone and she wouldn't be having fireball or whatever shit he might be talking on some future night. This way, I'm not in a position where I have to take action. Because I definitely want to get physical with this clown. Steph actually asked me to just ignore it and the next time we were around Josh, to just hope his behavior was better. This was ludicrous to me. I am the type of man that always wants to get ahead of situations. I hate being blind sided with anything. If we have a plan in place ahead of a potential problem, the likelihood of staying calm and having the best possible outcome is much greater. If we duck our heads and just hope, that's how things get messy and small problems get much larger. Steph and I are VERY different here. Although, I have seen Steph strive for peace and avoid conflict so much that she will avoid getting ahead of other issues in her life to try to prolong the time before the problem needs to be addressed. In one particular family instance I have seen a problem, that in my opinion, wasn't address and is currently out of control and probably not salvageable. We have discussed and fought mercilessly about this. Not always. Sometimes it wouldn't be a topic for a month or more and we would be proceeding with the best relationship I've ever had minus the above issues. In the last 2 months a couple of things have come up that are absolutely nothing with other men we have run into...an old high school acquaintance being one and a person whom is famous in our city that her girlfriends met and got pictures with but Steph was trying to tell me how he was an as to them that night. There was NOTHING with her old high school acquaintance. But the whole night I was seeing things that made me question her. My insecurities and triggers from my past are in full fling at this time. I'm taking non issues or small issues and making them into BIG issues. I am sabotaging this relationship. I don't want her going out of town on girls trips as I don't trust her to stop men from hitting on her hard or touching her. I can tell you that through my core I KNOW she would never cheat. I know she only wants me. I know that she would never want to lead another man on and she cares deeply for me. But I don't know where her boundaries or if they even exist with regards to a relationship. At this time, I completely lost my cool when she was trying to tell me the story about the local celebrity. I was way out of line. I know that I'm ruining us. But I need to have some closure with regards to Josh and know that Steph will have a plan that I'm aware of to not let men assault her or touch her inappropriately. We are not "together" as of 5 days ago. She can't be with a raging jealous lunatic. I can't be with someone who doesn't respect our relationship or my feelings enough to get out of her comfort zone and take action. Not every single time, but when it's egregious. That night with Josh was EGREGIOUS. I know we need professional help but I need my own help first. I'm to far off course currently. I reached out to a counselor this morning in hopes of an appointment soon that isn't for couples therapy. I am hopeful that we can get this right. But of all the fights we have had, she has expressed she understands my feelings and to her they are valid, but can't bring herself to take action. Ugh!!!!

When I see a 35+ year old his 20 year old girlfriend, I don't think "aw, I bet they really genuinely love each other and totally fell in love naturally :)", I think "That man saw a hot young piece of ass and the woman saw a financially well off guy with status, so they decided to date each other because the other person has something they want"
A relationship based on superficial things like money or looks will almost inevitability fail. What will happen once your gf ages and loses her youth and beauty? What will happen when your bf gets laid off and struggles financially?
I just feel like love is so much more genuine when both people are in similar stages of life, and the attraction isn't based solely on things like money or beauty. Imo there's just something so much more romantic about two college students trying to get through life together and going through the same trials and tribulations vs that same college student dating a 35 year old hedge fund manager who already has a lot of money and has his life figured out
Maybe I'm just being too cynical though idk. Have any of y'all known age gap relationships that actually lasted and didn't end after a few years?

Yes, it's strange but true.

She intended Cortana to take over Johns Body, knowing it would kill him? Halsey is just obsessed with the Evolution of mankind

The first thing is that in season 1 often the characters are used to try to give you some kind of suspense. From 6 games we know Cortana is the biggest ally of John but she was used as an element of suspense for a short while cause she could kill John, we know that can't happen cause the whole franchise is about them or mostly. They're its flagship
In Season 1 Halsey is like those cliche characters debating about logic vs feelings *eyes roll* especially in the last episodes of the season but in those last episodes it looks like they were cooking the story of the genes since she began to talk about love for humanity, her obsession itself sounds as a mission in her genes cause "reaching their full potential" was the objective of the librarian aka the programmer of the genes
But let's focus on the episodes of the tv show.
"I bet it's John, he was always the special one." -Halsey's clone
TV Halsey like in the novel has an attachment to John
Ep8.
"Of the human brain's myriad design flaws, the hardest to overcome is attachment. It makes us sentimental."
"People abandon all reason for the sake of pride or fear or...
"Or love."
"Yes. Or love."
Ep 8 also
"John has a girlfriend." -Halsey "How ordinary."
"Their connection is deep. Their dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin levels are all elevated, all in biochemical synchrony." -Cortana
"John is no longer alone in the galaxy." -Cortana
"Well, John was never alone." -Halsey "He had me."
"Of course." -Cortana in "yeah, sure" tone
In the same episode again, we have that conversation between Halsey and Keyes, he said "that obsession you have with the future has cost you every relationship you have. Me. John. Your child"
This is the typical thing about a person losing a love interest to somebody else.
Besides we have to remember that time when the famous business with Makee occurred the cliché happens too, John was very angry at Halsey and angry at Cortana too. Time to get involved with other woman, he could have got involved with Makee any other day but the writer decides both events will be in the same episode.
Of course we know what they're implying here.
Season 2 changed the character "where is she? where's John?" a little more like in the novel she has affection for Cortana and John. Is it strange taking into account the last season? yes, but they have their justification and honestly her behavior in the last episodes had been silly, they needed some ending for the season I guess but they have a justification
EP 3 season 2.
"You put in those pellets." -Ackerson
"So they never had to feel desire or ambition or preference."
"So they would never choose anyone other than you."
I don't think it's there just because. It looks like the show treats Cortana and Halsey as one. If John prefers Cortana over Makee it's the same than choosing Halsey and well, she's a clone, younger but a clone.
Edit: About if she's his mother.
That scene in Aleria with the shirtless John is intended to have a sexual thing. That wasn't normal and the scene was the thumbnail for the episode so not an accident.
Edit2: Cortana is possibly his endgame in this story, the flagship of the franchise at the end of the day and "I...we work together" we'll see what happens with Halsey cause it's possible too, strange but possible.
Edit 3:
Now replies appear for erased comments pretending they were here before...but this is my thread and I know the number of comments and views

Bank Holiday has come and gone, if you're like me you'd have had the chance to catch up with friends at some point over the weekend.
In traditional British 17 degree weather mine was spent shivering in the odd beer garden too.
This is the normal third space for most men and where many Wives and Girlfriends "Say Hi too.." go to die.
The past week I was approached on behalf of a male specific brand to ask questions around masculinity, vulnerability and the development of the mens space as a whole.
My summary was I was unhappy with what many brands had done, more of a box ticking exercise than anything of impact, cheesy marketing and missing the mark.
This weekend I drank a pint of Neck oil, aka London Juice which has started to gain popularity outside of the capital, I was offered a packet of crisps with the beer for "FREE".
The crisps where titled open up, and on the inside of the packet of crisps where questions men could ask each other
Great right? An open packet of crisps just like this is seen across pubs in the UK with men grabbing a handful to soak up the 5th beer.
Here is why I think this is a win, okay its as cheesy as the flavour of crisps they made, it does give men licence to talk...
Here's why I think like most brands it has missed the mark, it doesn't take the conversation away, men have declared their love to strangers in bathrooms after enough beer or a packet or two.
The money spent on printing bespoke crisps that are offered out for free, could have easily been spent, to encourage this in a different location, create a new third space and simply sponsored or supported by Beavertown... I hope this is stage two.
On balance I think it is good brands are getting involved but and a big BUT when a brand see's this as an opportunity to grown brand awareness rather than another campaign to sell, Beer, Betting or Mobile Data.
Their reach and impact will be clearly seen across the male populace

Tl;dr My boyfriend oesn’t make me feel like a priority or a girlfriend and I don’t know how much longer I can put up with it
My boyfriend and I have been together since late October. We are sorta long distance (about an hour and a half) and I have commuted to him about every time while he has come to see me once. When I do come over it’s always just us watching tv and eating Uber eats or I am cooking. We have yet to spend a whole day together. We talk on the phone and text through out the day every day. When we are on the phone he is always either working, playing video games with his friends/family or playing them in general, or he is doing research on betting or calling me in between running errands.
About six weeks ago I mentioned to him that I need romance, I need to feel like a girlfriend than some girl who comes over every four or more weeks to sleepover then leave for work. I understand he has a lot on his plate because he has two jobs, projects he is working on and he has custody of his son part time. Like I totally get it. He just also does this thing where he will randomly be like “next time I am going to see you in your city” “I got you something” or “I want to plan this in two weeks” etc. and nothing happens? I don’t even care that he didn’t actually give me anything, I mean, I do wish he would plan a date but I also wish he wouldn’t lie? I confronted him about this also and he said it wasn’t fair because he has been busy which I will accept. I just have seen a very consistent pattern of it and it’s hard to ignore. I have been in a lot of relationships like this and I am willing to be patient but to an extent… quality time is very important to me and I wish he would put more effort in making me feel like some kind of priority. Right now he has been absolutely all talk and it feels hard to believe nowadays.
How do I get through this with him? It’s really bothering me and I am not trying bother him about, I just need to know this isn’t going to be a forever thing for us

Tl;dr My boyfriend oesn’t make me feel like a priority or a girlfriend and I don’t know how much longer I can put up with it
My boyfriend and I have been together since late October. We are sorta long distance (about an hour and a half) and I have commuted to him about every time while he has come to see me once. When I do come over it’s always just us watching tv and eating Uber eats or I am cooking. We have yet to spend a whole day together. We talk on the phone and text through out the day every day. When we are on the phone he is always either working, playing video games with his friends/family or playing them in general, or he is doing research on betting or calling me in between running errands.
About six weeks ago I mentioned to him that I need romance, I need to feel like a girlfriend than some girl who comes over every four or more weeks to sleepover then leave for work. I understand he has a lot on his plate because he has two jobs, projects he is working on and he has custody of his son part time. Like I totally get it. He just also does this thing where he will randomly be like “next time I am going to see you in your city” “I got you something” or “I want to plan this in two weeks” etc. and nothing happens? I don’t even care that he didn’t actually give me anything, I mean, I do wish he would plan a date but I also wish he wouldn’t lie? I confronted him about this also and he said it wasn’t fair because he has been busy which I will accept. I just have seen a very consistent pattern of it and it’s hard to ignore. I have been in a lot of relationships like this and I am willing to be patient but to an extent… quality time is very important to me and I wish he would put more effort in making me feel like some kind of priority. Right now he has been absolutely all talk and it feels hard to believe nowadays.
How do I get through this with him? It’s really bothering me and I am not trying bother him about, I just need to know this isn’t going to be a forever thing for us

Tl;dr My boyfriend oesn’t make me feel like a priority or a girlfriend and I don’t know how much longer I can put up with it
My boyfriend and I have been together since late October. We are sorta long distance (about an hour and a half) and I have commuted to him about every time while he has come to see me once. When I do come over it’s always just us watching tv and eating Uber eats or I am cooking. We have yet to spend a whole day together. We talk on the phone and text through out the day every day. When we are on the phone he is always either working, playing video games with his friends/family or playing them in general, or he is doing research on betting or calling me in between running errands.
About six weeks ago I mentioned to him that I need romance, I need to feel like a girlfriend than some girl who comes over every four or more weeks to sleepover then leave for work. I understand he has a lot on his plate because he has two jobs, projects he is working on and he has custody of his son part time. Like I totally get it. He just also does this thing where he will randomly be like “next time I am going to see you in your city” “I got you something” or “I want to plan this in two weeks” etc. and nothing happens? I don’t even care that he didn’t actually give me anything, I mean, I do wish he would plan a date but I also wish he wouldn’t lie? I confronted him about this also and he said it wasn’t fair because he has been busy which I will accept. I just have seen a very consistent pattern of it and it’s hard to ignore. I have been in a lot of relationships like this and I am willing to be patient but to an extent… quality time is very important to me and I wish he would put more effort in making me feel like some kind of priority. Right now he has been absolutely all talk and it feels hard to believe nowadays.
How do I get through this with him? It’s really bothering me and I am not trying bother him about, I just need to know this isn’t going to be a forever thing for us

Tl;dr My boyfriend oesn’t make me feel like a priority or a girlfriend and I don’t know how much longer I can put up with it
My boyfriend and I have been together since late October. We are sorta long distance (about an hour and a half) and I have commuted to him about every time while he has come to see me once. When I do come over it’s always just us watching tv and eating Uber eats or I am cooking. We have yet to spend a whole day together. We talk on the phone and text through out the day every day. When we are on the phone he is always either working, playing video games with his friends/family or playing them in general, or he is doing research on betting or calling me in between running errands.
About six weeks ago I mentioned to him that I need romance, I need to feel like a girlfriend than some girl who comes over every four or more weeks to sleepover then leave for work. I understand he has a lot on his plate because he has two jobs, projects he is working on and he has custody of his son part time. Like I totally get it. He just also does this thing where he will randomly be like “next time I am going to see you in your city” “I got you something” or “I want to plan this in two weeks” etc. and nothing happens? I don’t even care that he didn’t actually give me anything, I mean, I do wish he would plan a date but I also wish he wouldn’t lie? I confronted him about this also and he said it wasn’t fair because he has been busy which I will accept. I just have seen a very consistent pattern of it and it’s hard to ignore. I have been in a lot of relationships like this and I am willing to be patient but to an extent… quality time is very important to me and I wish he would put more effort in making me feel like some kind of priority. Right now he has been absolutely all talk and it feels hard to believe nowadays.
How do I get through this with him? It’s really bothering me and I am not trying bother him about, I just need to know this isn’t going to be a forever thing for us

Very amazed that I'm here. This journey started with the fact that I could not stand to look at credit card debt for months/years to come so I had to lay off gambling.
Then 30 days was reached and my brain literally unfogged letting me see the misguided aspects of it all. Placing large bets on millionaires chasing a ball, so I couId feel smarter than people working behind a desk.
So "just let me pay down these high interest credit cards for a while, then I'll bet again" turned into weeks and months by the grace of God. Not religious but I do think a higher power (a voice in our subconscious) speaks to us, and can be respected or ignored to our detriment.
I never made any bold proclamations such as "I've made my last bet!" Because I know it's not easy, I know it's not a light switch I can flick off.
I do love the fact though that I can work hard, go to the gym, have one or two drinks at the most, and say "My day was complete, I want to relax without stress, I will not bet today."
I cannot emphasize enough that I respect your insights, honesty, and this community in general. The good fortune I experienced in finding you guys is more valuable than any fleeting, deceitful and superficial gambling luck!
Working, saving, and cultivativing meaning relationships is the only sustainable joy in life!
If your Mom is still with us, or if you have children with your wife/girlfriend please tell her you love her this weekend! ❤

At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
[Previous Chapter][Patreon][Cover Art]
Vell woke up, brushed his teeth, made his breakfast, and went through his morning routine. Now in his fourth year of looping, Vell had learned to embrace routine wherever he could. He didn’t get much of it. Recently he’d taken to accelerating his morning schedule a bit. It was the only way he could get through breakfast without getting bothered. Case in point, he was just finishing off his cereal when someone knocked at his door. Vell began mentally preparing himself to say no before he even opened the door.
“Hi,” said a complete stranger. “I had some theories about Quenay-”
“No,” Vell said, just like he’d prepared to. He shut the door, and ended up narrowly avoiding slamming it on the stranger’s hand as they shoved their way in.
“Please, I have some proposals you’ll-”
The hand twitched and then disappeared as it was forcibly yanked backwards.
“He said no.”
Vell opened the door all the way, and this time the face he saw was both familiar and welcome. His former roommate and longtime friend Cane had snatched the unwanted visitor by the collar and thrown him away.
“Thanks, man.”
“No problem,” Cane said. Unlike the more courteous Vell, Cane had no problem being dismissive or outright rude when necessary. “Mind if I come in?”
Vell beckoned his friend inside and the two took a seat.
“So what’s got you up this early in the morning anyway?”
“Hanifa wakes up early,” Cane said. Vell nodded in understanding. Cane’s girlfriend had a way of putting him on his best behavior. “And mostly I figured it was the only time you’d be free.”
“You need something?”
“Nah, just wanted to talk,” Cane said. “I’ve barely seen you all year, man.”
“It’s only been a few weeks,” Vell mumbled.
“That’s a long time, man!” Cane said. “Especially for a guy in your situation. You got a lot going on, Vell.”
“I’m handling it,” Vell said. Probably not well, but nobody was dead (permanently) yet, so he was still well within salvageable territory.
“Well if you’re handling it well enough that you’ve got some free time, I’m trying to get some people together tonight,” Cane said. “Already got most of the gang on board, how about you?”
“I mean, I’ll try to be there, but you know how it is with me sometimes,” Vell said. “Text me the details and we’ll see what happens.”
Cane had been hoping for a more firm commitment than that, but he took what he could get. Things did tend to be unpredictable around Vell.
“Alright. Let me know if you ever need a hand with any of this shit, Vell,” Cane said. “I got your back, and I can do more than just chasing off the occasional jackass at your door.”
“I could use your neurology expertise figuring out why Alex is the way she is,” Vell sighed.
“Nothing there to diagnose, Vell, she’s just an asshole.”
“I kind of figured,” Vell said.
***
As the day went on, Vell started to get increasingly worried. He was almost done with classes, and it had thus far been an uneventful day -which was bad. The later in the day the apocalypse started, the more likely it was to interfere with his social life. He nervously scrawled a few notes just to have something to do, since all the writing would get erased anyway. The contents of the lectures also didn’t provide much distraction. Due to spending the summer bottled up in his home avoiding unwanted attention, Vell had spent even more time than usual studying over the summer. Even Professor Nguyen’s lessons weren’t providing much new information this year.
“That will be all for the day,” Professor Nguyen said. “You are dismissed.”
None of the students in the room so much as flinched until Professor Nguyen actually said “dismissed”. She expected order and discipline in her classroom, and she enforced that expectation with a steely glare that all her students respected and feared in equal measure. Even with permission to leave granted, the students filed out of her classroom in a calm and orderly fashion, with only minimal conversation that always fell silent as it passed by Professor Nguyen’s desk.
“Mr. Harlan.”
Everyone who was standing near Vell took an immediate step back as soon as Professor Nguyen called his name.
“I’d like to speak to you in my office, if you have a moment,” Professor Nguyen said. It was in every way shape and form a request, yet her stern tone and reputation made it seem threatening anyway. Vell kept his calm and took a seat. In practice, the most threatening thing about Professor Nguyen’s office were the uncomfortable chairs and the befuddling elephant she kept on her desk.
The crudely made, poorly painted pink elephant on her desk was just as confusing now as it had been four years ago. She didn’t have any children, grandchildren, or even nieces or nephews who could’ve made such a thing for her. Vell tried not to stare too hard at the odd elephant as Nguyen took her seat.
“Apologies for the short notice, Mr. Harlan, but an associate of mine has inquired after an academic interview with you tonight.”
“About Quenay?”
“I would not waste your time on such things,” Professor Nguyen said, to Vell’s great relief. Professor Nguyen had a very low tolerance for nonsense of any sort, and that applied to all of Quenay’s nonsense. That intolerance combined with her stern attitude had made Professor Nguyen, and her classroom by extension, into a welcome reprieve from unwanted attention.
“Oh. So, uh, what’s it about, then?”
“In case you have forgotten, you invented the world’s first eight-lined rune,” Professor Nguyen said. “That merits some attention even among these rogue gods and secret runes.”
“Right, uh, that,” Vell said. That invention had been overshadowed by a lot of major events that came very soon after, and even Vell often forgot about it. “I guess I could. When did they want to talk? I was kind of trying to do something with friends…”
“He expressed an open schedule, but if you are unavailable, I will simply tell him such,” Professor Nguyen said.
“I mean, I could try and work it out, assuming nothing gets in the way,” Vell said. “I know you wouldn’t bring it up if it weren’t important...”
“It is,” Professor Nguyen said. “But maintaining interpersonal relationships is also important. It is up to you how to prioritize your-”
Something large and green flopped onto Professor Nguyen’s desk, right next to the pink elephant. Vell’s mind raced with multiple nightmare scenarios before he heard a ribbit. It was a fairly ordinary frog, by all appearances. The frog ribbited once more and shifted slightly on Nguyen’s desk. She glared at it as it let out one more ribbit.
“Absolutely not.”
The frog immediately hopped off the desk and wormed its way out of the office by squeezing under the door.
“Excuse me,” Vell said, as he pointed after the frog. “I think I need to go check on that.”
“I imagine you do,” Nguyen said. “Do put something by the door to keep the frog out. I don’t need distractions, amphibian or otherwise.”
Vell exited the office, and flipped a nearby desk in front of the door so no more frogs could squeeze through. It proved to be a much needed line of defense. The classroom itself was already overrun with frogs, and as he stepped out into the quad, Vell found yet more frogs. Portions of the quad were all but blanketed in the tiny amphibians, forcing what few students were still trying to traverse campus to step carefully. Vell shook a frog off his shoe and then pulled out his phone.
“Hey, Kim.”
“Frogs?”
“Yeah, frogs,” Vell said. “Mostly, at least. Some of them might be toads.”
“All frogs as far as I can tell,” Kim said. “No sign of where they came from, though.”
“Have they actually done any damage? They’re kind of just existing. Froggily.”
“One guy tripped when a frog jumped in front of him, but he’s fine,” Kim said. “We’re not in properly apocalyptic territory yet, but I assume there’s only going to be more frogs as time goes on.”
“That’s a reasonable assumption,” Vell said. Another frog hopped on to his foot, and Vell didn’t even bother shaking it off this time. “Let’s all meet up outside the Marine Biology department.”
“Are they our prime suspects?” Kim asked. “They’re the ocean guys, frogs can’t live in saltwater.”
“Oh, no, they probably didn’t do this,” Vell said. “But they’re probably pretty close to whoever did. All the animal studies are kind of lumped together.”
“Makes sense. See you soon.”
***
“So, just for the sake of being thorough, you didn’t do this, right?”
“No, Vell, we did not,” Skye said. “We don’t do frogs.”
“Okay, like I said, just being sure,” Vell said. “Do you have any idea who does handle the frogs?”
“I don’t know. That’d be like, amphibology, right?”
“Batrachology,” Kim corrected, as she approached with Hawke and Samson in tow. “Or herpetology, but that handles reptiles and amphibians more generally.”
“We’ll have to investigate them both either way,” Vell said. “You three start with the herpetologists. I’m going to see if Alex knows any spells to get these frogs out of our way.”
As it turned out, Alex did know of at least one way to move a frog. Unfortunately that way was by kicking them. The unfortunate frog sailed through the air over Kim’s head before going splat on the other side of the room.
“Hey! Go easy on the frogs,” Kim said. It was hard to avoid kicking a frog, and getting harder by the second as dozens more showed up, but that had definitely been an intentional kick.
Alex stomped into view, with heavy boots on her feet, a poncho over her shoulders, and a disgusted grimace on her face.
“Those slimy little pests deserve worse,” Alex grumbled. “Kim, light up. I’m going to need a powerful source of fire magic to eradicate all these frogs.”
“No nuclear option,” Vell said. “At least not yet. If these are all some kind of fake conjured frogs, maybe. But if these frogs have been getting teleported from somewhere, killing them all could completely destroy the ecosystem.”
“We’d be better off without them,” Alex snapped. A newly appeared frog answered her insult with an indignant ribbit.
“That’s not how ecosystems work,” Vell said. “Look, can you like, teleport all of these frogs away? Something to get them out of the way harmlessly?”
Considering Alex’s current attitude, Vell put some extra emphasis on “harmlessly”. Alex shook her head and stomped her foot, narrowly avoiding catching a frog underfoot. The blanket of frogs on the ground had gotten even thicker since she’d shown up and started complaining.
“There’s too many of them appearing too fast to get rid of,” Alex said. “And if I send them away, who says they won’t get sent right back? Incineration is our best bet.”
“No fire,” Vell said.
“Yeah, like, what if these are all people?” Hawke said. “I got turned into a frog once. What if you’d incinerated me?”
“Or me,” Samson said. He’d also been froggified in the same incident. It had been surprisingly pleasant, all things considered.
“Please, nobody is being turned into frogs,” Alex said. “I’d recognize that kind of magic. Froggification is one of the first things they teach you.”
She jumped with disgust as another frog hopped on to one of her boots and tried to get comfortable.
“So go find somewhere frog-free and find out what magic is at happening,” Vell said. Alex took the first excuse to be free of the frog swarm and trudged away, grumbling under her breath all the while.
“Alright, Alex hates frogs,” Kim said. “Filing that fact away for when we need to torture her.”
“Always a good thing to have in our pocket,” Vell said. “But we need to get to work. Spread out and scan the herpetology department.”
“Sick. Let’s go look at some newts.”
***
Hawke look at some newts. They did newt things. Not particularly suspicious newt things either.
“I think this is a wash,” Hawke said. “No sign of anything suspicious in any lab.”
There were no magic rituals, rogue experiments, or genetic augmentations lying around that would explain the sudden surplus of frogs. There weren’t even that many frogs on display in the labs, and the few that were present seemed frustrated they were still in their enclosures while so many other frogs were roaming free. Kim stared at a pair of frogs that had pressed themselves against the glass to croak angrily at their comrades.
“Ugh, I hate it when its not the obvious suspect,” Kim said. “Means we have to deal with some sentient frog wizard or something.”
“I would actually kind of want to see that,” Hawke said. “Like, especially if he’s got a little frog-sized wizard hat.”
“Fuck, that does sound good,” Kim said. “Which means its definitely not happening.”
To mask her disappointment that she might never get to see a frog in a wizard hat, Kim got in touch with Vell.
“You find anything yet, Harlan?”
“God, I wish,” Vell said. “Just a bunch of completely ordinary scientists doing completely responsible research on reptiles and amphibians. These guys don’t even like frogs that much.”
The ever-present croaking in the background intensified briefly.
“I’m kind of starting to agree with them,” Hawke said. A frog leaped onto his leg and clung to it as Hawke tried to shake it loose.
“Yeah bud, we’re all starting to hate frogs,” Kim said. “God, this keeps up I might almost agree with Alex on something.”
The ribbiting got louder again, and Kim heard something thwack loudly against a nearby pane of glass. She looked over her shoulder and saw a third frog in the enclosure where once there had been only two.
“Hold on a god damn second. Vell, stay on the line,” Kim said.
Then, for the first and hopefully last time in her life, Kim willingly called Alex. “Hey Alex, how’s your frog situation?”
“Horrible,” Alex snapped. “Everywhere I go, the little beasts just keep showing up! I was in a hermetically sealed, magically shielded bubble, and they still find a way in! I barely got out before I drowned in the damn things.”
Kim did a quick scan of the room. There were definitely frogs where there hadn’t been frogs before.
“Interesting. You know what, Alex? I agree,” Kim said. “Frogs are totally disgusting.”
The ribitting intensified on both ends of the call.
“Obviously! They’re slimy-”
Ribbit.
“Noisy-”
Ribbit ribbit.
“Useless-”
Ribbit ribbit ribbit.
“Yeah that’s great Alex you can shut up now,” Kim said. “Listen, I think I figured something out. Hating frogs makes more frogs appear.”
“Huh. Hold on a second,” Vell said. He pulled the phone away from himself for a second, but everyone on the call could still clearly hear him shout “Frogs fucking suck” followed by a short yelp of surprise. “Okay, yeah, think you might be on to something. Like fifty frogs just showed up. One of them landed on my head!”
Alex gave a long groan of disgust which Vell and Kim dutifully ignored.
“Insulting frogs makes it faster, but I think it’s also going off our thoughts too,” Kim said. “That’s why frogs keep showing up even when we’re just standing around.”
“Well that complicates things,” Vell said. “I think our biggest problem is the feedback loop.”
“Right. The more people hate frogs, the more frogs show up,” Kim said. “And the more frogs show up getting in peoples way, the more people will hate them. Like Alex.”
“I already hate frogs as much as it is possible to hate them,” Alex said.
“You’re not the problem,” Kim said. At least not the entire problem. “The problem is the entire campus of other people who are all slowly starting to hate frogs more, resulting in exponentially larger amounts of frogs over time.”
“I wonder how many frogs this island can support,” Vell said.
Something across the island crashed down, loudly.
“Although I suppose its more a question of how many frogs the buildings can support, isn’t it?” Vell said. “Alex, get back to work on that magic trace, we need to find out what the hell is going on, fast. I’m going to go investigate whatever the hell just made that noise.”
“Anything that hates frogs more than Alex has got to be worth checking out,” Kim said.
“Indeed,” Alex said. The fact that she agreed made it a lot less fun.
***
“I know we’re surrounded by frogs, but still,” Vell said. “That is a lot of fucking frogs.”
Where the sophomore dorms had once stood, there was now nothing more than a pile of rubble and frogs -and frog guts. Mostly frog guts, at least. There were no doubt some human guts mixed in as well, but frogs made up most of the recently deceased.
“Somebody in there must’ve really hated frogs,” Samson said. He’d hit a dead end in his own search and come to check out the carnage as well.
“No way to know now,” Vell said. He kicked aside some rubble and watched a few frog legs slide out. “Not exactly in prime investigation condition.”
If there were any sign of what has caused the sudden explosion of frogs in the dorms, it was likely buried under rubble and frog viscera. Even if evidence did exist, Vell didn’t exactly want to go digging for it, especially not in the dark. The frog problem had stretched all the way past sunset, and they would soon hit the midnight reset that happened every first loop.
“Why does everything have to be so difficult,” Vell mumbled.
“What?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Vell said. Samson looked at him funny, but dropped the topic. Vell sighed with relief and moved on. “Okay, trying to piece this together...we have frogs, too many god damn frogs, and more of them every time someone hates on them. What do you think, Samson, someone who really likes frogs is getting defensive?”
“I mean, it makes sense to me,” Samson said. “But all the most likely frog enjoyers on campus said they had nothing to do with it.”
“You can like frogs and not study them, though,” Vell said. “Man, there’s probably some witch with a shelf of frog figurines who did all this. Something like that. And I have no fucking idea who it could be.”
“What, like you’re supposed to know what everyone on campus likes?” Samson asked. “Come on, Vell, we can figure this out. We got most of the day to get this done on the second loop.”
The moment Samson felt safe discussing the time loops, Luke rounded the corner.
“The second what?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Vell and Samson said simultaneously. Luke looked at them funny, but dropped the subject.
“What are you doing here, Luke?”
“Looking for you, mostly,” Luke said. “Cane’s been looking for you.”
“Oh, right, sorry,” Vell said. “I should’ve let Cane know I wasn’t coming to that thi-”
“Vell. We’re in the middle of the fucking frogpocalypse,” Luke said. He gestured to the pile of rubble they were standing next to. “Cane is not worried you missed board game night. Cane found what caused the frog shit.”
“He did?”
“Yeah, I was on the phone with him when he found it,” Luke said. “He said something about a ghost, then everything went fritzy and my phone died.”
“What else did he say? Anything?”
“Nothing I could hear,” Luke said. “He was in a basement, I’m pretty sure.”
“A basement where?”
Luke pursed his lips uncomfortably and looked at the collapsed rubble again.
“Oh.”
“Of course,” Samson sighed. “But I mean, the basements around here have got to be pretty sturdy. Maybe we can dig him out before midnight?”
Wait,” Luke said. “Why does midnight matter?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Vell and Samson said simultaneously. Luke looked at them even funnier, but dropped the subject.

Main section at the bottom paragraph
It sounds dumb, but when I was growing up me and my family were constantly abused, either verbal or physical, and even with my mom it was sexual when she was a child. when I gained sentience i guess is the word, I was like 3 years old. And when I finally did I remember being at the apartment pool with my 2 brothers and our baby sitter nick and his friends. I asked my older brother who it is and he said "that's nick our baby sitter" and I said what does that mean and he said "it's someone who takes care of us and makes sure we're okay" and I thought that's nice. so i cheered for him while we were at the pool. "go nick! you can do it!" and then once we go back inside this fucking asshole beats us. why. Why? because we embarrassed him or some bullshit reason i don't remember. fucking key memory. but not the most important one at the time because not even 2 weeks later after all the beatings back to back this prick lays all of us down, pulls down our pants and hits each and everyone of us in the ass. First it was my older brother, then it was me. And for some reason, I have no fucking clue why, I just wanted to see what would happen if I didn't scream. I didn't cry in pain. so when he hit me I didn't. Then he hit me again, and again until all I did was turn around and say "ow", followed by him slamming the belt on my younger brothers ass. then he went and overdosed in the kitchen on heroin or some shit after beating my mom. As he beat my mom all I heard was her in pain. i have no reason why, but he stopped to do heroin, and when my mom called the cops this cunts uncle or dad or whatever was some important position in the police, got cps called on my mom and we were taken to my grandpas house. this was probably the most important day of my life. It taught me so many lessons it's unreal.

1. men who are powerful become scared and weak without it
2. I do not like men who hit women
3. the police are fucking useless
4. my family is the most important thing in my life
5. i hate drug addicts
6. men are very easy to control

and a bunch of other ones I just can't remember. When I was 7 years old my dad died, I genuinely didn't know anything about him but allegedly I was his favorite. when my mom and my aunt sat us down to tell us this, I thought the right response would be to cry. I didn't want to cry, because I didn't give a shit about him but I faked it. I just made the loud noises and sad face, but there was obviously no tears because i'm not an actor. however the older I grew up the more i realized i hated my dad. the more i realized this fucker is the reason i'm even in this position. because my mom and my dad were married, they were going to have a good life, my mom stopped going to college for this fucking asshole so he could work as a mortician. whatever fuckall reason, we went to montana for like a year or something, and his dumbass ex girlfriend jessica decided to message him and talk about how much she missed him, how much she loves her and wants to be with him. So they did, he divorced my mom, went back to live with jessica and they had a kid named lilith. and the funniest part is jessica is the reason my dad is dead. my mom told me she said he attacked her and she shot him. Which is honestly believable. There's a lot about my dad, the main thigns is he was also abusive to my mom, he was a paranoid bipolar schizophrenic and whichever christian denomination he had involved self-flagellation. he's been arrested for drugs as well as arson. I don't know how my beautiful mother ever found this loser attractive. He's a degenerate. But I do believe that he attacked jessica, despite how much I hate her, I do believe her considering his past. I hate my dad. It sounds generic and bratty, which might just be my cynicism, but in all honesty he's a piece of shit and he got me to where I am today. The problem is that I don't hate myself, I don't hate what I do. I just hate that I have to do it. My mom would've been a nurse, making God knows how much money, and this piece of shit would probably be in a mental hospital or jail for domestic violence. Either way, I'd much rather have my dad abuse my mom, because for some reason I feel like our lives might've been better. We would've lived in montana instead of shithole houston texas. which is another thing I want to talk about.
I grew up completely in houston, I have barely left the state my entire formative life, and I haven't ever gone outside of the country. point is if you know anybody or anything about houston, you know that it's a fucking shithole. fucking ruthless gang bangers coming in from the flood, the fucking crackheads and homeless people who keep coming wherever the fuck i go, it's like I'm a god damn magnet. I go to downtown houston, crackheads, I go to the outside suburbs, fucking homeless people and wannabe gangsters, but I go even further out into the woodlands and katy area, fucking the nicest places I've ever been, there's just fucking wannabe gangsters everywhere. I fucking hate houston. When we went to Austin for vacation one time, there was a guy at this restaurant near us, and he was just being loud and what I thought was completely hostile and sarcastic. This guy wasn't at all. He said to us while we were leaving "hey guys, look I'm sorry for being so loud, I just get really excited about the game." what. what? what the fuck this guy isn't a complete scumbag and is a genuinely nice human? I mean everywhere and anytime I'm in Houston it's a fucking balls challenge with every single man I ever meet trying to be the bigger man and talking about how big their dick is how badly they'd beat whoever's ass and it's the most annyoing shit on earth. Because as they're talking about their dick, in the same conversation they're scared that their girlfriend is going to leave them or cheat on them and how they don't want their girlfriend to dress a certain way for whatever reason. They're not misogynists, they're insecure losers. Whatever happened to the trophy wife thing? I want to show off my girlfriend, dress however you want. Dress like a slut, dress like a grandma I don't care. You're supposed to be for me to show off, not completely but that's what dressing up is for. That's all wearing clothes is about to show yourself off, clothes and personality is all marketing.
Enough schizo rambling, I just wanted to give you an background check I guess. With all of this happening I saw a show that my mom loved watching called Gotham. This was the only show I ever thought was good that my mom watched. in all honesty now that I watch it later on it's kind of pretentious, but regardless that's what I liked. The one character I loved the most was the penguin. Oswald cobblepot was my favorite character. Everything about him was just pathetic, but his demeanor and his mannerisms just made everyone think he was a boss and nobody could fuck with him. That's how I saw him at the time. And the more I looked into it, I realized he was in the gotham mafia. I didn't know what the mafia was, so I looked it up and saw all these movies and tv shows, and I just watched pretty much all of them. And every single time, I saw people who couldn't be fucked with. I saw strong men. I saw people who weren't bullied, who weren't abused who didn't get scammed or their mom get beaten. And even if they did they'd kill and torture them. That's who I wanted to be. I was tired of who I was. I wanted to be just like them. I never even factored in the money part, I just wanted to be like them. And obviously in texas you can't just join the mafia. At the same time my friend mike started talking about the dark web and all this shit. I thought this is the best way for me to do this kind of stuff. I started talking to criminals on there while talking to my online friends and thought I could just take what these criminals are talking about on forums and chatrooms, and just apply it to me and my online friends. And I did, ever since then it's kind of consumed me. It's the only thing I've researched, the only thing I know how to do. I've tried working jobs and doing it the normal way, but everytime I did people and my friends started to treat me differently. They saw me as just another person for them to fuck with. They thought nothing bad would happen and honestly nothing ever did. And here and there I'd dabble into these things again, But one day after I had received my hard earned paycheck I started paying this guy to do these things for me. And all he saw was easy pickings, which I pretty much was in all honesty. And he scammed me out of around $500 of my money that I worked for over the span of months. I mean until then I'd never been scammed in my life. This was the moment honestly, everyone around me I'd tell would just feel bad for me. I don't want people to feel bad for me, I want them to admire what I did, I want them to relish at the fact that they want to do that but they can't. I want to be admired for what I do about things when I am mistreated, just like I was when I was younger. So I found one of his friends that I helped dox (obviously he didn't know) and contacted him to help me understand everything about this guy. It took a little bit but I finally found this prick. I email bombed him for months, his phone was constantly going off full of text messages I sent from multiple yahoo accounts, his house was getting swatted whenever the fuck I felt like it, I didn't want to do anything financially because I don't care about money. I genuinely didn't even want it back. He got me, that's how I saw it. I just wanted to get him. Anytime I wanted, I could just fuck this guy over. And every single time, he would know it was me. That's what I want. That's what I've always wanted. I never read any philsophy books by machiavelli or anything like that but I remember one of the quotes he said was something about how nobody will truly respect you unless they fear you. That might not be true at all, but I feel like it is. My entire life has consisted of this shit, people abuse and mistreat me, my mom, my brothers and my friends. And every single time all I wished was I could do something about it. I can't really stress enough how little I cared about the money. Everytime I'd watch these shows I knew I'd never be able to make as much money as them but I understood their personality. I understood that I wouldn't make it around them. So I tried my best to. At one point before I calmed down we had kidnapped some guy for not paying my friend his money. This is kind of the point I realized what the fuck spiral I was going down and just calmed down. Then I worked the job and the rest is obvious. Now instead of focusing on just fear, I am focusing on money. And honestly fraud and internet crimes just don't pay/aren't worth it anymore. I've taken my skills and I'm focusing on real businesses. Real money. After a lot of growth both in therapy and in my own time. I've realized the flaws of the mafia characters, and they're not all I saw them as. They were drug addicts, abusive and unloyal to women, they were addicted to gambling, I mean jimmy conway had a rigged college basketball game, and with the money he made, he proceeded to bet on other games he couldn't rig. They were just dumb. They were strong willed and didn't take anything from anybody, but they weren't strong enough to deal with their dumbass addictions like gambling and drugs. I don't want to be like that. Everytime I'd watch these movies I never thought that I'm just like them or I want to be them, I just wanted to emulate their strong points. And to a certain point I have. As I write this I realize that I'm everything I wanted these guys to be. I'm not addicted to gambling or drugs, I'm not a cheater, I'm not abusive to women, I'm not rude to people in public who didn't do anything to them, I love who I am. I did commit crimes, I did do things and will do things to people who do me wrong. This guy scammed me on fiverr for something I wanted done and doxxed him, botted his social medias so they get banned, and I'm contemplating email bombing him but. In all honesty I am glad who I am. I don't take shit from people and that's what I could've learned just living in houston, and I did take it too far but I am glad I did. I don't regret anything. I don't hate the people from my past because they're in my past.
TLDR: I watched too many mafia movies growing up, realized they were losers and started acting more like a normal person. In one of my first posts (I don't make that many) I talked about what else I did as a con artist if you are curious.

Eleven days prior
The ten stealth pods were on their final approach after drifting for two days from the small moon orbiting their target planet. They were ejected from a nullship that flashed out of null space below the moon’s southern pole, taking advantage of the strong magnetic fields in that region to mask the exit flash and avoid detection by the insectoid ships in orbit around the planet. The planet and the moon were currently transiting through a large meteor stream that intersected their orbit around the sun three times a year. The command-pod AI ran billions of calculations per second as it started creating an atmospheric entry plan for the ten pods that would coincide with the trajectories of the numerous particles of dust and debris that would be entering the atmosphere for the next three days.
Selecting an area with a projected high concentration of small-diameter meteors in the next hour, the AI created a maneuvering program for the pods that activated a series of compressed-gas positional thrusters to guide the pods over to the entry point. The AI confirmed the calculations and initiated the final entry program as the ten pods fired their rear gas thrusters one last time and accelerated towards the planet. They were joined by over a thousand pieces of cosmic debris as they entered the atmosphere and streaked across the sky, flaring brightly as they dropped towards the surface with the other meteors.
Kepler-186f system
2^nd planet, Insectoid Builder World, 2174 A.D.
The special forces team had been on the planet for ten days without seeing any signs or indications of the presence of a queen on the planet. Lieutenant Diego could not believe the sheer number of drones he saw in the last nine days since they marched forty kilometers from their landing site towards an endlessly sprawling ground-based shipyard facility. Tens of millions of drones scurried about day and night as raw material was offloaded by massive aerial cargo ships that landed, were emptied, and flew off to reload in an endless procession. Diego found himself enthralled by their construction processes and the astonishing speed at which they built ships. In just the last five days, he saw ten insectoid cruisers go from a skeletal framework to fully completed and watched as they lifted off the surface and went into orbit. He was particularly impressed with how the tough ship hulls were created. A large percentage of the cargo being dropped off seemed to be organic in nature and was dumped into large tanks scattered throughout the shipyard.
A conveyor system comprising hundreds of thousands of worker drones connected all the tanks and would snake their way among the shipbuilding areas, carrying loads of the organic material on their backs and dumping it at the end of the lines. Other drones with smaller containers would fill them with material and bring them to waiting drones by the ships, dumping the contents on the ground in front of them, and then go back for more material. The drones in front of their piles would then start eating the organic material, swallowing it. After they ate the pile in front of them, they would scurry over to the ships and start regurgitating what they ate into their tarsal claws in small amounts and shaping them into round balls. They would then stack the balls in a row like bricklayers until they ran out of regurgitated material. They would then go back to eat more material, while teams of drones would take their place and wave a handheld apparatus that seemed to heat the balls, and they would melt, deforming from the treatment and filling in the gaps, turning into perfect hexagons.
Once a section was completed, a different team of drones would arrive with a large device and set it up. They would then turn the device on, and a god-awful screeching sound would emanate from the front of the device and be directed towards the still-soft sections of the hull. Within thirty seconds, that section of hull would start groaning, and the opaque, soft hexagons would turn jet black and harden into a tough, metal-like material. An Insectoid cruiser that was 360 meters long, 60 meters wide, and 120 meters tall would have its entire hull constructed and enclosed in forty-two hours.
An alert popped up on his HUD that it was time to insert another energy pack into the shrouding system that camouflaged his team and prevented detection. He keyed his throat mike and issued the command for everyone to replace their energy packs, and he turned to face the two civilian scientists to make sure that they received and understood the order. He was vehemently opposed to bringing them, but the admiral was adamant that they were to accompany the team, and Diego relented after some resistance. There was no way in hell he was willing to piss off the big man over a couple of civvies; there were better hills to die on.
As he watched them fumble about for their replacement packs, he smiled and had to admit that they were growing on him. During the two weeks it took them to get to the far side of Insectoid space, their wide-eyed enthusiasm and willingness to talk about their respective fields of study seemed to infect his team, and they became almost like little siblings to them. He chuckled to himself as he remembered how confused Dr. Ariti seemed to be by the fact that his team was able to process and retain the information she was telling them with ease. He was there when Dr. Masiello informed her that the eight-member team held over twenty PhD’s among them, and the look on her face was just the cutest thing he ever saw.
The sun was halfway down past the horizon, which meant they had just another hour of daylight before darkness would arrive. He signaled that it was time to pack up and move, and in a few minutes, they were headed back towards their base camp. He was grateful for the .7g gravity on the surface, as it made their daily hikes with equipment and the frequent relocations of their camp to avoid detection easier. It also gave his joints a welcome reprieve from their usual aches, a mercy he greatly appreciated. They arrived at base camp a half hour later, and everyone went about their assigned tasks and end-of-day routines before they all sat down around a red-light lantern in the middle of the camp to have dinner.
The combination of the eerie red light and the pitch blackness of their surroundings was something none of them could get used to, and it created an ominous atmosphere as they reluctantly opened their ration packs. The shrouding device could hide them effectively, but they enacted as many safeguards as they could against detection, such as only using red lights at night and eating foods that had been stripped of any scent and devoid of flavoring spices. The result of their security measures was that they felt like they were eating cardboard in hell. Diego had been sick before and felt like he couldn’t really taste his food when his nose was stuffed, but he always knew he was eating his mom’s chicken soup. As vague as the scent and taste of the soup might be, it was still there, and he could detect its essence. The food they were eating was on a totally different level, and he never realized just how important a component smell was to tasting food until he ate rations completely devoid of any scent or seasoning except for salt and potassium chloride.
As they choked down their dinner, he noticed Emily and Owen shooting furtive glances at each other, and they seemed agitated. He waited until they all finished eating and indicated that he wanted to talk to them alone. They walked 10 meters away from the red-light lamp and stopped right on the edge of the total blackness surrounding their camp. Emily and Owen seemed really distressed, and he knew something was seriously wrong. He didn’t have the time or the patience for their bullshit, and his internal alarms were going off wildly.
“What is going on with you two? Tell me, now.” He saw them cringe at his harsh manner, but he couldn’t afford to feel bad for them. Not on an enemy planet with almost thirty billion wasps that were five feet tall and armed with skull-cracking mandibles and twelve-inch serrated stingers coming out of their asses. They didn’t answer, and he stepped forward into their personal space and was just about to demand answers when Owen, in an uncharacteristic show of bravery, put himself in front of Emily as if to protect her.
“Lieutenant, I would appreciate it if you would direct your questions to me. There is no reason for you to speak to Emily like this. She is rightfully terrified, and I have spent the last ten days trying not to shit my fucking pants in front of all of you, so do me a favor and get the fuck out of our faces.”
Diego couldn’t believe the balls on this puke, and he almost gave in to his desire to punch the defiant bastard in the face before he realized how ridiculous it was. Here he was, squaring off with an entomologist who was telling him to fuck off, and the absurdity of it all and the pressures of the mission came crashing into him. He took a few steps back, turning around and breathing deeply, trying to calm himself. Owen, now in the throes of an uncontrolled adrenaline crash, waited a few seconds and then stepped next to him and put out a very shaky fist bump, offering an unsaid apology with his eyes. Diego bumped it, and he turned back to face Emily. “I apologize for the way I spoke to you; I am not used to having civilians on my missions. I hope we can reset and put this behind us.”
Emily nodded, and Owen walked back over and stood next to her. Emily looked at Owen and nodded, and Owen pulled out a data pad, set it on the floor, and pressed a button. A holographic map floated above it, and he pinched the display with his fingers and zoomed into the area where they were currently located. “Lieutenant, we are of the opinion that we are not going to locate a queen on the surface.” He expanded the map back out and swiped it sideways to an area over a hundred kilometers to the east. He zoomed back in and pressed an icon on the map that added a subterranean scan, and a massive underground structure popped into view, looking like an upside-down pinecone, with the narrow top of the structure expanding in size as it went deeper. Diego leaned forward to look at the numbers on the side of the structure and whistled softly to himself as the estimated dimensions were displayed. The structure was thirty-six kilometers deep and had a radius of twelve kilometers at its widest. It was a massive underground Hive, and there was a flashing question mark in the center of the Hive where there was a large chamber located. It seemed to be the nexus of the Hive, which was connected to the rest of the structure by six bridges or tunnels. Owen pointed towards the question mark icon. “This has to be the queen chamber, and if there is a queen currently on the planet, that is where she will be.”
Diego stared at the map, thinking about how to get her out of there. He keyed his throat mike and called for Sgt. Singh to join them at their location. A few moments later, he arrived, and Diego quickly brought him up to speed. Singh was the team’s engineer sergeant, and he thoughtfully stroked his beard as he looked at the display. “Obviously, we cannot infiltrate the Hive to root the bitch out. I have enough explosives and demo bots to severely damage some of the cruisers under construction; maybe that will get the queen to leave the Hive, if she is even in there.” He finished speaking, and Diego looked at the doctors to gauge their reaction to what he said. Emily spoke first. “I would not do that. We don’t know what their response to that will be. They might have soldier drones. We haven’t seen any here or found any evidence of them from the wreckage in the Eleani system, but that does not mean that they do not have a soldier or guard caste protecting their hives.”
Owen nodded in agreement and added, “We need to find a way to know for sure if there even is a queen here before alerting them to our presence. Who’s to say that the queens wouldn’t respond to such an attack by retreating to their primary world and staying there, depriving us of a chance to grab a queen ever again? I might have an idea, and the sergeant’s expertise and input would be welcomed.” Diego nodded, and both he and Singh took a knee as Owen played around with the map, highlighting an area of the shipyard almost fifty kilometers from their position.
He asked his AI assistant to access the geological and topographical scans that were taken from orbit before they landed on the planet and highlighted a five-square-kilometer section of crust under the outer edge of the shipyard. “The crust is extremely thin here, and there is a massive chasm underneath this area from the worker drones pumping out the aquifer for water. I think a series of properly placed sub-surface explosives will cause the thin roof of the chasm to weaken enough to collapse a small area, and the weight of this section of the shipyard will add further stress to the undamaged crust and collapse the entire area, causing all the ships and workers to fall into the chasm. It would seem to be a natural occurrence, and we can avoid having to give away our presence on the planet. I bet that will get the queen up here if she is in the Hive.” Owen then added markers indicating where he thought the explosives should go and their yields, and then looked at Singh, waiting for his response.
Singh quickly played around with the map, ran his own calculations on the placement and explosive yields, and looked at Owen with a growing respect in his eyes as his AI assistant verified the numbers. “Not bad, Doc; this is pretty good for a bug guy! Are you a geologist too?” Owen smiled widely at the praise from Singh and answered with obvious pride in his voice. “Actually, I did two six-month tours as an ore prospector in the Fomalhaut asteroid belts before my then-girlfriend threatened to break up with me. I was pretty good at figuring out the proper explosive placement to break up the asteroids while maintaining the integrity of the mineral deposits and cores. It was a fun job, and the money I made paid for my parents retirement home and my college.” Singh nodded approvingly and stood up, walking over to Owen and warmly shaking his hand. “It is always nice to make the acquaintance of an ore prospector; it’s a dangerous job and requires a lot of technical skill.”
Diego rolled his eyes and studied the map while the two of them continued talking about blowing crap up and zoned out the lovefest. Emily came over and sat down next to him. “I agree with Owen. If the queen is in the Hive, she would have to come out and oversee the worker drone response to the collapse. Do you think it is a good plan?” Diego grunted in response as he continued to think about the feasibility of the plan and the possible outcomes. He turned to her and nodded. “I do think it is a solid plan, and even if there is no queen here, then at least we can do some damage to their shipbuilding efforts for a short period of time. There’s what—almost two hundred cruisers in that area? At least we can strike a blow against them if we fail in our objective to capture a queen. Wiping out two hundred cruisers and a few million drones is a nice consolation prize, and we can exfil this planet with pride in that accomplishment.” Emily smiled at him and said, “It would be nice to get off the planet and go back home. I know I volunteered to come here for the mission, but I am tired of being scared all the time; it is exhausting.”
Diego reached out and lightly patted her on the shoulder. “You two are doing a fine damn job so far. I have to admit that the both of you have been far less trouble than I was expecting to have to deal with on this mission.” Emily smiled widely. “Thank you for that, lieutenant; that means a great deal to me.” Diego smiled in return and stood up, offering his hand to assist Emily. They walked back over to Singh and Owen, who were geeking out over the demo bot specs that Singh had pulled up on his wrist pad. “If you two lovebirds are about done, let’s head back over and quickly outline our preliminary plan to the rest of the team. We will work out the details, solidify a proper plan in the morning, and go from there.”
They all started walking back towards the red-light lamp, and Diego slowed his pace as he walked behind them, listening along as Owen was telling Emily and Singh about a time when he spent two days evading an ore pirate ship in a cat-and-mouse chase. His copilot was killed in the initial attack, and he managed to cripple their ship with mining charges when he laid a trap and led them into it. “Not bad for a puke.” He thought to himself as his previous estimation of the scientist rose considerably as Owen described how his damaged ship was almost out of air, so in desperation, he boarded the drifting ore pirate ship and single-handedly took the four survivors prisoners.
A little while later, after everyone had gone into their tents to sleep, Diego was just about to drift off when he heard a faint rustling sound outside his tent and sat upright, alarmed. The sentry bots and the perimeter sensor system did not activate the silent buzz alarm on his wrist pad, and he tapped it, accessing the video feed from the overhead sentry drone that was floating above their camp. From this bird's-eye view, he saw Emily finish tiptoeing across the camp and stop outside Owen’s tent. She looked furtively around the camp before pressing the entry seam control and quickly slipping into his tent before the seam closed back up behind her. He pressed a series of commands, and a few moments later, a backup shroud drone silently assumed position over the tent and activated, making it disappear from the visual feed. He broke the connection to the overhead sentry drone and laid back down, feeling a genuine smile form on his face. He closed his eyes and thought his last thought before sleep overcame him.
“Not bad at all, Owen.”

Looking for advice on what’s going to work best for me or what I need to focus on the most. I feel like the more I’ve read on here the more confused I am. Hoping this community can give me some guidance before I see my doctor.. I didn’t want to make this too long but it is. Please help!
I posted recently about my situation on here but I still have just as much trouble making the changes (limiting sugar and carbs) as when I heard about 6.1 A1C last September.
I’m looking for what I should focus on, or not focus on. I know the community isn’t my doctor tho and if I should just go to my doctor for more extensive help then I want to know that too.
I did a fasting blood sugar at my doctor. The receptionist called 2 weeks later to tell me about my 6.1 A1C which is prediabetic, to limit sugar and carbs and exercise more, and come back in 3-6 months. Not the doctor. Nothing else. I did not come back that soon- It’s been almost 9 months and my annual is in late august. I did good changes (limit sugar and carbs and exercise) for 2 months and then with holidays I fell off and haven’t truly gotten back on, at all. I saw my doctor in March for back pain and she didn’t mention A1C and neither did I.
The guilt has been eating me more and more about not doing what I need to do and getting full blown diabetes.
I did a $40 blood test from Amazon in February and it said 6.0. So it lowered .1?? Assuming it’s reliable.
Anyways I just read a bunch of stuff today and I’m confused. Really confused and could really use help.
First, Should I start by tracking my blood sugar more? Because I don’t check it at all. Do I need to see what spikes me and what doesn’t - is that going to be necessary for success, in making it easier to see what tailored needs I need?? I don’t want to become obsessed with it, but would it help me?!
I was raised on sugar, carbs and junk food. I am truly addicted. Type 2 runs in my mom’s side of the family. The bigger piece of the puzzle here is less than 6 months before my diagnosis, I lost my mom (67) to a heart attack ultimately (but also other things.. a foot wound of 12 years that wouldn’t heal, and she never ate right at all possibly worse than me, she was not able to exercise or even walk any (she used a motor wheelchair for the last 7ish years of her life initially bc the foot upper needing to not be walked on but also not healing due to diabetes, also she did not sleep well at all).
The irony is devastating, all I want is to talk to her about it and I wish I knew the dangers not only for her but for me too, much younger. I’m 29 almost 30 year old female. This isn’t fair on so many levels and I have extreme depression, anxiety and trauma from this therefore making it harder to not seek comfort in junk food even tho it’s apparently the enemy. I WANT to live a long healthy life. I want to stop craving junk, and it sucks bad that the world is made to make us unhealthy.
I’m sure a lot of this comes down to my mindset, as well I need therapy to change my relationship with not only food but work through the trauma of losing my mom, etc. I am still stuck in a bad mindset of not wanting to change my habits. Wanting to figure out a way around it. Not wanting to change; but having to. But in the last month, the guilt of my continued bad eating and possibility of my next tests, is starting to really bother me. I feel very lost and very defeated.
I’m thankful to have a supportive girlfriend for this she is a great cook and wants to help diet with me. Our brains go to a lazy keto diet, low carb and low sugar. I’ve heard that keto isn’t good for your body. I’ve “heard” so many things. Focus on fiber. Fruits are good but not good. Exercise right after meals - that seems common. Read a lot about metformin today and not sure what to do decipher on it though.
What in the world is my best bet to work through these things? I don’t want to be full blown diabetic or insulin dependent. What should I focus on, what should I try first, what should I avoid? Should I monitor blood sugar at least daily, should I defintely cut things out, should I definitely start replacing, should I just make an appointment with my doctor to discuss things before august?
Please please help me!

TW: super brief suicide mention. Be safe! :)
I'd been shocked at his recent behavior: he'd been nice to me for months and was supporting me while I fight to get disability insurance. My therapist asked me over and over, "what would it take for you to believe that he's changed?" I assured her, no, this is another one of his schemes except this is a long-con. Trust me, it's coming.
A year ago today, he tried to apologize for abusing me in front of my disability attorney. He made it very helpful to show I had a traumatic childhood that has led to my lifelong, incurable disabilities. He kept apologizing, like he'd been doing for months, and like I'd been doing for months, I'd reply something like "okay."
I felt so good leaving the attorney. I felt vindicated and like things were going to be okay.
Then my dad trapped me in my car to force me to say hi to his girlfriend... and show me that she was 8 months pregnant... I'm an only child. Or, I was. My Mom died at 11. He got with my 22 YO step mom when I was 12. She ended her life in 2019. My dad was remarried by the end of the year. She'd run away and disappear about a month into Covid. He'd gotten with this current girlfriend maybe a year before. She's my age, I think she's 30 and I'm 29. My half-sister will be 1 at the end of the month.
The worst part is I'd been having nightmares about this. About him only being nice to me because I was a test run and how I needed to be happy for him to "get another chance at having a family."
And that's pretty much what he told me in real life. That I should be happy for him. That we're a family and I need to let him be happy.
I sent him a text that was probably about 20 single-spaced pages long. I have it saved somewhere. I told him everything I'd ever wanted to say to him. I can't even remember it all now. Of course he sent back about how I needed to understand how cold his dad was and how he didn't show my dad love. Boy I wanted to go off: his father RAISED me, he was pretty much my actual dad. He was a child of the Depression and wasn't touchy-feely. But I never felt unloved or ignored by him, nor did I feel to tell my dad that granddad loved me more, as dad started to do at my granddad's funeral. ("You should've heard some of the things he said about you his last day in the hospital!")
Family took me in for 2 months. I thought I'd lose my mind. I speed-ran my entire life's trauma with a guardian who'd I'd always seen as my hero. Her dog multiple times tried to attack my cats, but it was my cats' faults: "dogs chase cats, it's nature, maybe your cat shouldn't have ran! Maybe dog just wanted to play! I bet his feelings are hurt, apologize to him."
I got my apartment last August. I finally had a falling out with that family member when I told them I'd asked the moving guy if he wanted to come back for a bit more cash to move the rest of my stuff. Family member absolutely lost it. "Are you depressed or... are you just lazy? I thought I'd be able to fix you but clearly you like to be this way! How could you do this to me after everything I've given you?!" Haven't really talked to her since.
I never thought I'd be here. To celebrate the day, I think I'll just take a nap. In my quiet, private apartment. No barking, no yelling, no screaming, the lights aren't suddenly going to come on, I'm not going to be shaken awake and dragged out bed... A cat might sail onto me but I'm used to that. 😹

Why are you still sending pictures of your junk?
So if you follow me or know me, you know that I used to write about this a lot while I was on dating sites. Then I had enough of men doing this, of men just wanting to text and never wanting to meet or men who clearly couldn't read my profile and just wanted a hook up. I took a year off of dating because I had had enough. After a year, I decided to try again. Omg! Well, let me tell you things have not changed!
Men are still out here, ghosting women. Men who just want a texting pen pal. Men are still lying and saying they want a relationship but are only looking to hook up. Men still can't or won't step up and then there are still the ones who have this burning desire to show off their dicks!
Yes, we all know about them if you are a women, the "Dick pic guy" The guy who after a few good mornings, how are you texts, decides out of nowhere that he must show you his junk.
And BAM! There it is, a good morning picture of his junk in what he thinks is, all of his glory. Well, after only less than a month back at dating I got not only a dick pic, I got a dick video! We were actually going to go on a date. I texted him and said I am jumping in the shower and would text him when I was on my way. He replied “You should send me a picture” I ignored the comment and jumped in the shower.
When I came out there was a message from him. He had sent me a dick video. Well I wrote back at least I didn't waste my time getting ready to meet him, now lose my number. Seriously? Wtf? Look I get it if this is your boyfriend or husband and you want to spice things up, then it's good, you're playing together and it's okay. But when you just meet someone or in my case haven't even met him and then they decide to do this, It then becomes a Wtf??
Like in Wtf...is wrong with you? Wtf...why would you think I want to see your junk? Wtf...all junk looks the same? Or my very favorite Wtf... Don't send your picture of your junk to a woman who has been with a black man (It's not an urban myth!)
One guy said "So you're assuming I have a small dick?" I responded "No, I no longer have to assume!"
Seriously! I am going to cut you down, insult you and then I will send it to all my girlfriends and we will laugh at you. Oh yes, we all do this and we ask all the Wtf questions to why you think we needed or wanted to see this.
Some of you should be embarrassed to send this to anyone...ever! Some need some serious manscaping. Some are just nasty with hanging, saggy balls... Yuggh, please, it's not all that, trust us! You've seen one junk. You've seen them all. (Ok, maybe not..refer to paragraph above about urban myths)
To add insult to injury, this last one was while he was on the toilet first, and then he took it in the shower.... I'll wait till you stop laughing. I can't make this shit up, people! Ohhhh...like that is so sexy, in a dirty bathroom no less.
Do they think "Oh, I'm going to send this picture of my junk while I'm on a nasty toilet and this woman is going to cream in her drawers and come running over with her pants down to have sex with this sexy beast!"
Really, this is what you must be thinking inside of your pea brain... Why else would you possibly send this?
Wait... Sorry, I'm still laughing. See Mr. Dick pic, this is what we are doing... we are frigging laughing at you! This is not sexy, this does not turn us on, this makes us mad actually, that you think we must be some kind of women that after 5 texts that it would be okay to do this or that we would welcome this behavior.
Did we ask about your junk? Did we discuss anything sexual? Did it say anywhere in our profile that we wanted to hook up? No! So where in the world did you think it was a good idea? It's not! It never will be! So stop sending them unless, of course, you want to be in my blog about saggy balls. Seriously... just don't send them, ever!
Dating today is hard enough. We don't need to see pictures of your nasty junk that probably isn't all that when it comes down to it anyway. Let's be real. It already shows us it's all about you and what you want, so I'll be betting it's all about you in bed as well. Next....swipe left....delete. This makes me want to go back to not dating again.
So today, my friends feel free to send this to all the men who send you these pics. And to the guys who follow me, send it to a friend who needs help keeping it in his pants. Share it everywhere, as there are many men out there still doing this. Speak out loud and clear and help me start my new movement...

dontsendmepicturesofyourjunk

Wtf

nosaggyballs

It's okay...I'm still laughing, too!
"Be the change you want to see,"

Just for fun, I've enjoyed lurking in OnlineDating because its great to see the lack of awareness on the part of the men there on just how raw of a deal they're getting. Take a scroll and look at the doomer posting going on there, asking if its "normal" to get no matches, "normal" to be ghosted, "normal" to always get what you DON'T WANT (women that lack the 3F's) despite putting in MAXIMUM EFFORT,... and on and on we could go but you get the picture.
No, none of that is normal, and its not dating. Guys will sometimes talk about "deleting the apps for good" and practicing what is essentially PUA nonsense IRL... but then, they come back, asking similar questions about why women in the west are so g*ddamn anti-social and unapproachable.
Curiously, its a fraction of women asking these same things. Why? Well, obviously, they're out living their best life. Why the hell would they be on dating forums? They're too busy going on actual dates. The other post in this sub with the two blondes illustrates perfectly the fact that women ENJOY dating in America. There is enough simps to make them feel special 7 nights a week. Even the BAD dates for them are enjoyable because its content for their curated social media. It makes for a good story for wine night with their girlfriends. If they meet a guy and no sex or relationship happens, its fine, she'll get the next one. Its more about the "experience" the beta male provided her with his wallet that night. She likely had no intentions of being with him, she just wanted to use his resources and time to give him the illusion that he had a chance.
Its similar to the way customers are treated at a casino. Keep the clientele extremely desperate -- only give them enough of a dopamine hit so that they won't start to think the casino is rigged in favor of the house. Keep them betting, chasing the proverbial jackpot, only to never receive it. There is an illusion of luxury, but only as long as you keep throwing down money.
With the advent of PPB comes an implicit acknowledgement and revival men's desire to ENJOY the process of dating women rather than suffer through it. By that, i mean having your time, money, and attention respected. To feel desired and wanted by the woman you're spending that time, attention, and money with. That feeling that she is interested in YOU specifically, and not the other 98 men in her DM's.
You ever hear people talk about how it "Feels like a job interview,..." to be on a date with someone? Well, let me remind you that shit isn't normal or organic and its a sign to get the hell out. Its not you, its your environment, stupid!