Sexy things to ask your boyfriend

I (23f) feel a bit silly making this but this is something that has me crying for nights. For context, I was born in the Philippines and migrated to Australia when I was 10. At 5, my mum use to work for this pillow company called DAKKI and she gave me a throw pillow which was blue and had sea creatures on it. It came from the Everything Animals collections and since that day I treasured that pillow. I called it Fishy and growing up he (I always thought of my pillow as a boy) was there during difficult times. He came with me as I migrated to Australia and has moved houses. I always bought him to road trips and whenever I travel overseas. He’s been ripped at the edges a few times but I would always sew him back despite not knowing how to sew properly. He’s had bite marks because I would bite him whenever I felt anxious and scared, and stains from my tears and saliva as I always hugged him. Whenever I hold him I always feel reassured and safe. He was there when my grandma was still alive and same with my dog. It was the only thing that helped me go through difficult times and often whenever I felt that I was alone I would talk to him. Recently (6 days ago) I went on a trip to Singapore. During the trip I was feeling sick and wasn’t thinking straight. Upon arrival at the airport I was holding him under my arm. My family and I went to a food hall within the airport where we put our stuff down; I don’t know if it was because I was so out of it but I didn’t realise that I was not holding him anymore. It was 4 am when I lost him. I didn’t realised it until 10 pm. By 10 pm I was in my hotel room wondering what was missing. For 18 hours I did not wonder because I was busy with my family.
I got back from my trip 2 days ago. When I went to the airport I went to the information desk and asked. I filled out a missing item report on the night I found out and the next day. They said that no one handed a pillow in. On that night I cried myself to sleep. The night I arrived back to Australia, I cried myself to sleep. Even right now I was sobbing. My siblings and boyfriend have been comforting me and offering solutions such as making a new pillow or finding a replacement for him. But I don’t want it. I just want my boy back. I know it was my fault for not taking care of him but I’ve been praying non stop, asking for a miracle that maybe one day someone will find him or that I find the same model being sold online. I know that some people may find this silly but this pillow is the only thing that was there for me during my hardest times and I am not ready to lose him. I cannot find him online so if anyone can locate him or have an exact one just like him please reach out. Nothing feels right and I just don’t want to be here anymore. I know I have to move on but considering that pillow has been with me for my whole life, I think this is something that will take a long time to heal from.

Long time lurker, first time posting because I’m in need of advice and it’s eating away at me. I can’t really speak about this to anyone in my circle.
I apologize for the long post in advance.
So, my (33F) boyfriend (36M) and I have been together a little over two years. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone this much.
Bit of relevant background information: My BF was married for 9, almost 10 years. He has two kids from said marriage. (2 boys). She cheated on him with at least 3 people (that he knows of) and only cared about how much money he could provide for the family and disregarded his feelings constantly. (Telling him to “man up”, “stop crying and be a man”, “it’s not a real job unless you’re making six figures”, “this guy at work has bigger muscles than you, he’s so hot to look at”), would drain their bank account on whatever she pleased, including supporting her best friend’s drug habit and run ins with the law. The list goes on. She was his first….everything. Kiss, sex, marriage, etc.
I found out recently that about a month or two after we started dating, he was flirting with/hyping up his ex wife through text messages, and was expressing doubts about me. I never felt the need to go through his phone till I just had that gut feeling. I'm an overthinker, and I remember seeing how much he used to be glued to his phone vs now years later. It was always conveniently his ex's name popping up as well. Seeing as to how we agreed to an open phone policy early on in the relationship due to trust issues from past relationships, I decided to act on it. I fucked around and found out.
Hyping her up was obviously an issue on its own; However, he also seemed to be putting me down in the process of trying to make her feel better about herself. She was complaining about her insecurities. He was saying stuff like “Stop it. You’re the most attractive person I’ve ever been with. You’re a goddamn smoke show”. Then proceeded to list all of her positive physical attributes, along with how he didn’t know if he really found me physically attractive.
Despite how she treated him, they had a very active sex life. He was simultaneously complaining to her that we (him and I) weren’t having sex enough at the time (fair, I was anxious about sex in general due to past trauma from multiple abusive relationships). It took me a couple months to feel “safe enough” to open up sexually and for us to have a regular sex life. whereas he was telling her how he missed sex with her, they just should’ve made more time dedicated to their sex life around the kids.
The thing is, I never felt any indication of this at the time. He seemed to be understanding of my past sexual trauma, my hesitancies to trust another man, ensuring me that he was willing to wait as long as it took for me to feel comfortable with him (including sexually), everything. Always telling me I was attractive in various ways. How excited he was to get to know me; Would constantly tell me no woman made him feel so valued, like he was worth their time. Now I can’t help but to wonder what else he seemingly lied about. Or how much did he even mean what he said in the beginning while still fawning over her at the same time unbeknownst to me.
After those few text messages though, this type of talk seemed to stop. It went to strictly business only. Only interacting when its about the kids. No multiple paragraph messages reminiscing on their love for each other. No telling her how hot she is compared to me, nothing. They just stopped around the time he started to tell me he loved me.
Long story less long, I confronted him about these messages when I found them last week. I sobbed, he sobbed. He apologized profusely, stating he was just so unsure of me in the beginning and resorted to someone that was a source of comfort in the past (which I don’t get because, well, she treated him awful for the last like…6 years of their marriage). He then said something about how she was the only person he went to for external problems in the past because he doesn’t have many friends and he would vent to her about work, his family, etc. So again, she was basically all he knew from a young age. He then stated I’ve shown him what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like. That he feels he had rose colored glasses even then. To where he felt like he could somehow re-kindle with her. But he knows now that if he ended up doing that, he would’ve been miserable anyway. He made it a point to tell me he loves ME, not her; And that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me, how much he loves me, etc.
He has basically been my constant source of happiness, safety, and comfort until now. Now all I see are the text messages. I have a hard time feeling like he’s truly even attracted to me. He DOES constantly tell me I’m beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, a “goddess”, etc. But he also did in the beginning of our relationship when those messages were sent to her. Or maybe he’s only slightly attracted to me but regardless, in my mind, I am always being compared to his ex wife and I just don’t…measure up physically. I know I have quite a bit of insecurities and self esteem issues when it comes to my body/face. I have struggled feeling pretty/hot/whatever enough since I was a child. (Long story but for very valid reasons). However, before these messages, I was able to ignore them and just be happy. Now? I’m just not as pretty as her. Her hair is longer than mine. Her makeup is better than mine. I’m curvy/thick, she’s skinny and in perfect shape. I can’t stop comparing myself to her and I’m…going insane. Or so it feels. I just can’t compete with her physical beauty. I can’t compete with her having all of his firsts. I feel like she was the love of his life simply because of their time together and the fact she gave him his pride and joy-his kids. I mean, who forgets their first love? I can't compete with that bond they share. I can’t stop crying about it.
I guess I'm just curious if anyone here went through something similar, and maybe has some tips for finding their self worth again? Feeling pretty again? Or if anyone thinks him and I can move past this without the constant sting of betrayal looming around.
TL;DR: Boyfriend emotionally cheated on me with his ex wife at the beginning of our relationship. I’m finding out now after 2 years together. He states it was due to being unsure of me in the beginning of our relationship, but he’s never been more sure of me now. He was unsure of marrying ever again until he met me How do I recover from the insecurities this has caused to be brought back out unexpectedly? Was anyone here able to move on after something similar?

Hello!
I'm planning on visiting this submarine here in Portugal.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6wiYNEuSRv/?igsh=MTVzbDVvYjI2YWNxdA==
I love submarine stories and learning how they work. My friends don't find this subject interesting, but when I start to tell a few stories they kind of change their mind. Now they want to visit this submarine and they want to come with me just to listen to any piece of info I may have and explain things to them.
We may, or may not, get a guide there, but I wanted to ask you, the people who really know anything about the subject, if you know or have any knowledge about this submarine, any story related to this type, or if any detail caught your eye and you have an input. Basically, any info, input or story you may have would be greatly apreciated.
And yes, you would definitely help me look good during the visit!

What are your experiences with memory loss due to your epilepsy? I'm talking long or short-term.
Lots of us experience the loss after an episode.
How is that for you? Do you remember the whole day up to the episode? Do you black out? Do you have auras, and if so, do you remember the day that they showed up or the days before and after?
Please share your experience with memory loss. I have had a very hard time lately and need some support over this.
I have grand mals. I used to average 4 per day. They started at 17- can't find any reason, not eligible for any surgery due to the electrical activity not being isolated - aka they'd have to take my whole brain out, lol. Thanks to medicine, I am now down to just a few episodes a year! They range from 2-6 seizures within a 48-hour period, usually.
Without medication, my seizures are very long. The longest I've spent convulsing at one time was 17 minutes. I have almost died multiple times and experienced wild injuries from it.
Epilepsy lost me a full ride athletic scholarship to the best place in the world (unimportant, being relatively vague for internet reasons, haha). It has taken too much from me. But we just keep swimming. Ironically, another activity I'm not supposed to participate in.
Anyway, I'm just giving some background info. Feel free to share yours, too.
My brain damage is awful. I'm able to learn new skills/information, but if I don't repeat it every day, I lose it in about 4 days or so. I mis-remember many things and have lost a LOT of long-term memory. I don't remember childhood, and I can't remember what my family's voices sound like when I'm away from them for just a week or so. One of my favorite things to do is research, but it seems pointless in the long run. I still do it as a hobby, seeing as how it is fairly risk-free.
I was away from someone who was apparently one of my best friends for just a few years. When we reconnected, I didn't even know their name or face. I thought they were joking until they showed me pictures.
My short term is very bad as well. When I feel down about these things, I watch 50 First Dates to remind myself that people still care about me, good or bad brain, haha. It hurts because I am (not to brag) VERY smart. I have so much potential, but epilepsy kills it.
I could say a million more things, but I wanted to vent & ask about your experiences. You're never alone.
Cheers to good health, guys
edit lol, forgot the point of my title
I have all these issues, but I can learn songs within a day and always retain the lyrics and flow. Even just hearing a couple of seconds of a song clip, I usually can easily identify it. The brain is a wild instrument. I just wish I could tune mine.

I'm just so tired, really tired. The entrance exams to colleges have took a toll on me. And the academic stress is just to much, to top it all off I had a fight with my sister too to the extent that we don't talk nowadays. i was so badly hurt by whatever happened between us, it made me write this:
"I do not want you back in my life anymore. I'm just done with you. I sacrificed my pride in order to fix things with you. You can call me egotistic if you want because ego and pride are used interchangeably sometimes too. You lack the basic cognitive skills to understand and acknowledge what the other person is going through, in laymen's term - you're a dumb idiot. You are the reason of my sleepless nights, my crying (which you compared with your panic attacks). I do not cry often, you should remember that. Yes, i do act immature sometimes when I do not want to lose something or someone. But I also love hard, which you don't deserve now. You were just like the others, it was my love that made you special. I still do not know why you've had such a great affect on my mental peace and its health, but congratulations on hurting your own brother. You have this quality of hurting everyone, be it stranger or your known. I still go through the screenshots of our chats and cherish the old you, because the current you is horrible. Whenever I was giving any exam, the only thing apart from my brain processing the questions was that I wanted to make 3 people proud - mom, dad and you. I thought if I work hard, then you'd follow suit, which was clearly a miscalculation on my part.
I'm glad you are happy without me, because I know I can be difficult to handle with but I was not someone who didn't deserve a second chance. I did everything in my power to fix things with you and guess what, you never even checked on me. This tells a lot about your personality.
Remember this all started because I asked for some rightfully earned respect 2 months back.
Good luck with everything you're gonna do and just fuck off from my life, i really don't want to see you ever again. I think you wouldn't even care if I go abroad or die.
Goodbye"
I'm just tired of life as a whole.

I (23F) have really been struggling with my boyfriend’s (23M) parents. Little bit of context he works with his dad but he’s not very nice, always shouting at him and belittling him when he makes mistakes. His mum is slightly nicer but very overbearing. My problems with them have been building up slowly over time. First it started with comments about my clothes being too revealing, starting with you’re going to be cold and escalating to you don’t wear any clothes when you come round. It made me uncomfortable but I stayed polite, nod along to the dad’s egotistical ramblings. Weird things have happened as well where I got invited to the mums birthday dinner but not my bfs birthday dinner. But a month or two things took a turn when my bf asked his dad about a job contract (as he works for him and he doesn’t have one), and the dad accused me of being the one behind him asking. He called me a stupid cow behind my back and said I was rude for a numerous different things like not coming inside the house when I dropped him home one time. Since then I have been keeping my distance. Then my bf had an exam and his mum took his car to go away for a week because the lease expired on hers. It basically meant he had to stay home and study the whole time as his dad had a problem with him seeing me when he had the exam coming up. I was very happy when that situation was over, relieved to see him again. Then not even a week later he got invited to go stay at the family house in france for a week as his dad and sister were going up. My bf then invited me to come as well which I said yes to but asked if his family was okay with it as his parents aren’t a big fan of me. Apparently they said it was fine but then his dad was talking at dinner about how the three of them (him, my bf and sister) would go and do stuff together, not acknowledging that I was going as well. After that my bf spoke to his sister about the trip and he decided he didn’t want to go, the reason he gave me was that he just didn’t fancy it and would spend time with his sister another time which is the original reason he was going. But when he told his dad, he then accused me of pulling strings in the background and manipulating him. It just seems like every week is a new drama and it’s starting to get to me and I don’t know how I can deal with it all moving forwards.

Hey all-
I did a quick search on this sub regarding BC as a form of treatment for PMDD and at a glance I don’t think I saw any posts regarding what I’m looking for..
For background I wasn’t diagnosed with PMDD until I got on birth control, before it was suggested I was bipolar.
I started birth control at 19 years old, I’m now 26 and I’ve tried basically all of them besides the depo and the copper IUD (I refuse to do either, they aren’t an option). I didn’t cycle through them because they didn’t help with my PMDD, it was more so side effects and convenience issues and I felt like they all helped with my PMDD for the most part. I have also tried some mental health meds (for the depression and supposed bipolar) prior to getting on birth control that didn’t really do anything for the “feelings” part of PMDD but upon research, some of them that I tried are used for treatment.
I’ve been on the Nuva Ring since I was about 21-22 and I love it so much, it’s been the only birth control to minimize almost all of my period related issues. Recently I’ve noticed that my symptoms relating to PMDD are becoming more noticeable/prevalent and I’m almost panicking about it (I also have a separate diagnosis that is just labeled “panic disorder” yay). I moved states so I have a new doctor, when we went over my history originally I did mention my PMDD and while she wasn’t dismissive we didn’t spend any time talking about it like the rest of my medical history. At that time I wasn’t really needing any additional supports for it.
My question is: for those who have had success using birth control as a treatment, do any of you take two forms of birth control? Is the reason you’re on two types related to your PMDD? Has anyone had something that worked for them for years, just stop working?
My untreated PMDD was very hard to navigate at full force and it honestly derailed my whole life. Granted I was a teenager and was still developing coping skills and things like that but I don’t want to go through those feelings again, I’m currently not a danger to myself but prior to finding birth control, I was. A lot of my personal relationships were very rocky too. I’ve just noticed a pattern my last few cycles and I need to get a handle on it. I was thinking of asking my doctor to add another form of birth control since it originally changed my life drastically for the better.
When googling things, all I found were articles that all seem to say the same things and nothing more, just statistics and generic treatment plans, I don’t know anyone who even knows what PMDD is (let alone seemingly has it) outside of my old doctor.
Advice is welcomed.

To be honest, I wasn't sure that the Advice sub would let me post this there so I'm posting it here because it's so fucked up. And it didn't seem right for Let's Not Meet, either. But I do need advice, because I feel I'm losing my fucking mind.
So I (30F) have always been very close to my cousin (30F), let's call her Angela. Because we're the same age, our parents (my mom and her father are siblings) went through all the same stages with us and as such, we were more or less raised like siblings due to how much time our families spent together.
We even had homes in the country in the same township, which is where I think this happened. And I can't really tell my family this because it will make me sound legitimately crazy. And some part of me even doubts this memory, but at the same time I know in my heart that it's true. It's a complicated feeling, and this memory was brought to light last week when my suspicion I've had for years was more or less confirmed.
One winter, sixteen years ago, when Angela and I were both fourteen, both of our families were at our cottages, a twenty minute drive from each other. Angela and her little brother (my cousin, let's call him James) parents (my aunt and uncle) were going skiing one morning, and I wanted to go too. So I spent the night at their cottage, like I often did when we all went up north.
Angela's bedroom had two single beds in it, and James' room was down the hall. The whole house was open concept, so the hall from Angela's room to James' room did not have walls, but rather was bordered by two railings over which you could see down into the main floor, the open concept living and dining rooms.
James is four years younger than us, and when he was 10, he was such a typical little boy/little brother, it's almost cartoonish to look back on. Like, I'm talking *constantly* bothering us, putting a stink bomb on a remote control car that he would sneak into our rooms, trying to read Angela's diary when we weren't in her bedroom, just all the stuff. But never anything cruel or out of the ordinary or sinister, just a massive handful.
The basement of James and Angela's cottage was filled with storage and old toys, and sometimes (on the rare occasion) that we'd willingly play with James, we'd all go down to the basement and try to freak each other out. Anyway, one of the toys in the basement was your typical Raggedy-Ann doll from the 60s or something. I think it belonged to my uncle when he was a kid and then Angela when she was a baby. Her name was Trilly. I forget who named it. Anyway, I have vague memories of playing with it when we were much younger and pretending it was our third cousin or our little daughter. But since then she'd sat in storage in the basement.
But, what great nightmare material! Right?! A creepy, limp, smiling doll. So the night I stayed over, before we went skiing in the morning, James, Angela and I were up to our playing in the basement, and I remember we tried to freak James out by pretending Trilly was alive or something like that. Whatever. Game over, we all had dinner with the parents, then watched a movie as a family and went to bed. James to his room and Angela and me to Angela's room.
Now this is the thing. Angela and I still joke about this night, and she remembers it just like I do, which is why I sort of wrote off my hypothesis until last week. That night, in the middle of the night, I started tossing and turning. I woke up and could tell that Angela was stirring as well. One of us said to the other, "are you awake?" and the other said "yes," and we realized that we both couldn't sleep or were woken up by the same thing or were both just feeling restless. But then, at the other end of her room, Trilly was sitting in the fucking desk chair.
I think it was Angela who pointed it out. We saw a shadow, thinking it was a person, freaked out, and then relaxed briefly when we saw it was just the doll. But then we got freaked out all over again and were like, "why the FUCK is this FUCKING doll in your room!?!?", murderously standing up and going over to it to pick it up and throw it in James' room and pound the living Christ out of him.
We turn on all the lights, turn on the hall light, stomp down the hall into his room and turn on his lights, and see he's not in his bed. We then go downstairs (my aunt and uncle's room was on the main floor), Trilly still in Angela's hands, and hear my aunt and James in the washroom. Turns out James had been sick for the last few hours and my aunt had been up all night with him as he was throwing up in the washroom. And when we saw the scene we immediately could tell that James had nothing to do with Trilly. Like, it was just one of those really believable situations where we could tell James truly had no idea what was going on. We even felt bad for him. And, to top it off, when we told him the story in the morning it scared him so much that he didn't go into the basement for like a year. Anyway, it just seemed really sincere.
So Angela and I went back up to her room and we were like, "are we *sure* we didn't bring this up here last night? Are we sure? We must have." Anyway, while we were really freaked, we figured that it was explainable. We knew the doll obviously didn't walk itself upstairs like it was some horror movie. But, because we were fourteen and all for the drama (and I remember us having the "better safe than sorry" mindset) we called her dog upstairs (Bella, a poorly behaved black poodle). We started playing tug-of-war with Bella, using Trilly as the toy, and eventually Bella ripped her to shreds.
Anyway, funny memory, making the dog rip up the doll, we laughed and thought we were tough and cool, then we went back to bed.
The next morning, instead of all of us going skiing, it was just Me, Angela, and my Uncle, because James stayed home with my aunt on account of his stomach flu. But when we woke up, Angela was acting weird. Nothing too noteable, just really bizarrely quiet as she moved around her room to get her clothes out of her drawers and get changed. She didn't, like, acknowledge me in her room. I said something like "morning" when she didn't acknowledge me, and she looked at me and then turned back to her drawers and kept getting changed.
And she was looking around weirdly, I remember that too. Almost like she'd misplaced something, but a little more dazed than that. Just moving strangely. Then she went downstairs without saying anything to me at all. I thought maybe she was just super groggy... but it still felt really weird.
When I went downstairs, she was standing at the island in the kitchen buttering toast that my uncle had put in for us. I distinctly remember walking up beside her and the toaster, pulling a piece of toast out of it, putting it on the plate that had been set out for me, and when I dipped the knife into the container of butter, Angela smacked my hand away, hard, and looked at me and snapped, "what are you doing? Don't take things that aren't yours". I was shocked. It honestly felt like being struck in the face. She'd never spoken to me like that before, and even though we were like siblings, I still felt that kind of mortifying embarrassment you feel when someone calls you out on misbehaving, even though I wasn't doing anything wrong; but it *was* her family's butter and bread? I don't know. That's what I remember thinking. But it was awkward and weird and I just said, "um, what?" and then she didn't say anything, just kept buttering her toast, and I mumbled some apology.
The three of us then drove to the ski hill and, I kid you not, Angela and I didn't speak the whole way there. I had no idea what was up, but I didn't want to ask with her dad in the car.
Then when we got to the ski hill, we went skiing just the two of us and on the chairlift during the first run I mustered up the courage to say "Hey, did I do something wrong? I feel like you're really mad at me or something". And she turned to look at me and was confused. Not friendly, not warm, not reassuring, but confused. It was almost as if I was a stranger and she looked at me as if to say, "sorry, who are you? why are you talking to me?"
And she responded in a formal way: "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about". The distance in her voice was really eerie, and I started to think maybe this had to do with the doll incident the night before and either she was trying to extend the prank, and she was the one who had put the doll on the chair, OR she felt guilty that we ruined this family doll and she resented me for being a part of it. Anyway, when we got to the top of the hill, she skied down quickly and didn't wait for me to go back up again, and we ended up skiing separately.
I felt awkward and embarrassed like I'd done something wrong. I ended up skiing with my uncle who asked me what was up with us, and I just said I didn't know. Then after our day of skiing, he dropped me off at my family's cottage and continued on home with Angela.
For the rest of that whole school year (we were in ninth grade), Angela and I didn't really speak. It was really sad. We were like sisters before, but better because we weren't actually sisters, but cousins, and so we were like best friends that were related. Seriously, we were really close. And it really messed me up, I felt like she just ghosted me. I would text her and call her house but she was always "fine" or "with Jessica" (her best friend). I chalked it up to her just outgrowing me, and it really fucking sucked. But, to be honest, it was so jarring and such a stark shift that I was more confused than hurt. I talked to my mom about it and she explained to me how rough it can be to be a teenage girl.
But that following summer, we were up at our cottages again, and our family had a barbecue and invited over my aunt and uncle and Angela and James. I had seen Angela at family things a couple of times since and she would just kind of ignore me and spend the whole time texting, which is what I expected this time.
Sure enough, that's what happened for the first bit of the barbecue. But then when the food was ready, she came up beside me as we were dressing our hamburgers at the condiment table and said, "oh my god, remember that night we got Bella to ruin Trilly?" and I was so shocked by her friendly tone, by her acting as though she were picking up a conversation we just were having, that I just stared at her and said, "yeah, that was crazy". And she said, "yeah, so funny. Anyway, how've you been?" again, really different and formal. I almost couldn't get past how altered her tone was, like we'd never even met. In fact she seemed so sprightly and kind that I thought she was mocking me.
And our relationship since that barbecue carried on just like that. She started talking to me more, but I'd reference inside jokes or ways we used to be or things we used to do and she never really latched on to any of them. I was caught between thinking she'd outgrown me and thinking she was like embarrassed of our closeness before or something and was trying to move on. I talked to my mom about this, and again got the speech about how teenage girls can be really cruel/strange sometimes.
So until we were about 22, we were like that. Nice to each other, talking sometimes, not that close, and I learned to not try and act like we were all close or that we had been close. I talked to my friends about it too and they said it was normal for friendships to change like that. But something felt off about this. I started to honestly feel crazy for hanging on to this "before" memory of Angela so much.
Then when we were 22, we grew apart. This time, it was mutual and natural. I moved cities, and she got engaged and became a real estate agent and we just had nothing to talk about. It was gradual and I didn't notice it much. Which brings us to eight years later, just last week.
I was travelling in Iceland. I had to be there (very randomly) for a conference/workshop I was leading for work, and turned it into a vacation. Rented a car, decided I was going to drive across the island after the conference was over and stay on the east part and explore a bit.
Day four of my seven-day long road trip. It's mid-afternoon, I'm hungry. I've been driving for three hours and have come across no sign of civilization at all, and it was fifty miles to the next town. But then, voila! A little gas station/general store/cafe! Perfect!
Ah, fuck. I literally can't believe I'm writing this. It makes me sound fucking crazy. But here I go.
I park in the little three-car parking lot. I get out of my car, step onto the gravel, the sky is white, expansive, there are mountains everywhere around me, fields, sheep. The air is fresh. Seriously middle of nowhere. I walk up the wooden rickety steps and push open the door and hear the door chimes go. A man walks out from the back room and greets me, and the place is cute. There's a little handwritten menu above the cash register and I asked him in my pathetic Icelandic/English mix if I could have the gravlax toast. He's very friendly and kind and says yes, asks if I want a coffee, I say yes please, blah blah, he rings me up at the cash register, and I go and sit at the one table they have and wait for my food.
I look around - it's mostly a fishing supplies store with some general groceries. The man opens the door to the room from which he came, the kitchen I suppose, and says the order to the lady in the back who looks like she's doing some prep cooking. Immediately I stop. It's freaking Angela!!!! Or I thought it was.
Now, remember, I hadn't seen Angela in about eight years. Since her dad passed away when we were twenty-three, and because I'd moved cities, we just had no reason to really see each other especially after growing so far apart.
So, like, OH MY GOD, it's Angela! She's working at a random little general store in middle-of-nowhere Iceland! But wait, I thought. No. This is obviously not-fucking-Angela. Angela is a real estate agent in my hometown. I'd obviously know if she lived in Iceland lol. Right? I don't really use social media but the odd time I do, she'll pop up here and there. But I guess not enough for me to *confirm* she still lived in my hometown.
But anyway, she looked enough like Angela that I went right up to the cash register and rang the little bell and the guy came back out and when he opened the door I was able to get another look at her, and my heart skidded. A chill spread across my crown. It was one hundred percent Angela. Like, my full-on cousin. So, looking over the guys' shoulder, RIGHT AT ANGELA, I smile and say, "Angela!! Oh my god!!" and before she could respond, the door shut again.
And the guy at the cash smiled really big, a nice, friendly, smile and he looked surprised as well, and pointed back over his shoulder and then at me, as if to say, "you two know each other?!" which confirmed for me that her name was Angela, because he seemed really delighted at the coincidence. Expecting her to emerge from the kitchen, I walked around to behind the cash register (the invitation was implied by the guy) and he put his arm back to open the door for me, or for Angela, whom we both expected to be making her way over to me, too.
When he opened the door, she was head-down again, chopping vegetables. I walked through the door and said, "Angela? Angela!" smiling, thinking she hadn't seen me yet or realized who I was, all context considered. She looked up at me, and then quickly, as though avoiding my eyes, looked down. "Hey", she said, quietly, at the cutting board.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? Before I could ask anything, she said, "I'm really sorry, okay?"
What?
She repeated herself and then continued: "I'm really sorry okay? But we can't talk".
I actually, like, had no clue what was happening. I was looking into the eyes of my cousin whom I hadn't seen in forever in some random fucking shack in Iceland and she was acting skittish and afraid. I opened my mouth to protest and she said, "I need you to leave," then she called the guy's name and said something to him in Icelandic. She can speak Icelandic??!
The guy came in, his demeanour totally different. Almost like he was a bouncer. He gestured to my coffee and toast that were ready to go, took them in his hands and ushered me out of the kitchen and I could tell I no longer was welcome. Either I wasn't welcome or I was in danger, or both. It felt more like the former. And I don't think the guy had any idea what was going on, either. I think she must have said something to him like "I don't know this person, this person is crazy" or something. That's how he was acting toward me.
I got in my car, I drove five minutes down the road, and pulled over. I miraculously had service and I called my mom and told her everything. She kind of just laughed at me and was like "Many-Patient2894, that obviously wasn't Angela". And joked about me making some poor Icelandic woman feel extremely weird. But based off the guy's reaction when I said her name, her name was Angela, and the way she spoke to me and said sorry and said we couldn't talk, like, she knew me too. I told my mom all of this and I sounded fucking crazy and she just was basically like, "Haha, yeah, weird". I think she thinks I was making up the part about the apology.
I told all of my friends this, when I was still in Iceland, and they all reacted like my mom did. At this point, I had four days left in the country, and I kept wanting to return to the cafe/general store. But I didn't. I started to think maybe the woman thought I was someone else. But then I kept coming back to, but wait, this person was Angela. Her name, her body, her face, like I just didn't know what to do.
This brings me to two days ago, the day before yesterday, when I returned to Canada, where I live. It's eight o'clock in the morning and I'm on my way to work. In my car. Just picked up a coffee. Exhausted. Not thinking about Angela at all. Thinking about my laundry, my bills, what I'm going to make for dinner. The traffic is bad and it's a miserable day outside.
My phone dings. It's a random number. The text reads: "Hey! It's Angela! How was your trip?"
Haven't heard from her in eight years (except for our run-in in Iceland, if indeed it was one). No "how have you been??", no "I miss you!!" no "long time no talk/see!". I also hadn't posted anything about my trip on social media. Unless you were a friend of mine, you didn't know I was there.
I immediately call my mom, who follows Angela on Instagram, and ask her to look at her profile. Sure enough, Angela (not at all to my mother's surprise), is posting stories of the bachelorette party she's at in Miami. She's, like, not at all in Iceland.
I have no idea what's going on. And the way Angela/the woman spoke to me in the cafe had the cadence and softness that Angela had, and in my memory, lost, starting the morning of the skiing after the incident with Trilly and the dog. For some reason I'm fully back there in my memory now, realizing that that was the first morning of "the new Angela", the one that seemed to have no emotional memory of me at all. Like, the Iceland Angela seemed more like the "before" Angela.
I haven't replied to the text. I have no idea if it was bachelorette party Miami Angela or Iceland Angela that sent me the message, the area code is from neither Angela's hometown or Iceland.
I need advice, I have no idea what to do or who to talk to. Do I reply to the text? What do I say? I feel like the real Angela is fucking trapped in Iceland or something and has been for a long time. Or I don't even know. I have no idea what to do.

Which pet insurance is best for you? Are there any that may cover your dog's current treatment? Did your dog get injured during the waiting period and want to know if you're covered?
Here's the place to ask.
Do know we cannot help you here with medical concerns, and lying or not disclosing things to the insurance company is illegal so we don't allow that either.

Sharing in case this helps anyone because I could not find much when I searched. I filed for an amendment to my grandparents' marriage certificate/license because both of their surnames were significantly misspelled.
MASSIVE DISCLAIMER: This is my experience only and any advice given is entirely subjective. The experience will, no doubt, vary wildly court-to-court and beyond that, judge-to-judge. My case was in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania.

1. The forms the court provided were designed for the original applicants themselves and left no room for a third party (a great-granddaughter in my case). I had to decide whether to fill out the form as written and add a page with an addendum letter explaining or to essentially make myself applicant "a" in place of my great grandmother and note "on behalf of [insert grandmother's name]". I chose the latter and there was a moment of confusion when the judge pulled up the documents, but ultimately he said that was fine and the best way it could have been done.
   
2. I included a lot of documentation and that wasn't as helpful as expected. I included birth/marriage certificates to establish lineage and since I don't have my great-grandparents' social security cards and drivers licenses and such, I even added census data, their children's death certificates and phone directory listings. In my case, the judge didn't even glance at it. The only negative there is that ALL of that is now forever bound to the decree amending the license, so now it's a big fat stack that appears more convoluted than a simple decree. I still think I did the right thing, but if I had clairvoyance, a simple decree would probably make more sense in the Italian courts. (PS I could have been ANYONE and completely changed the marriage certificate of some random people who had their names spelled correctly for all the judge looked at it, which was not at all.)
   
3. Men in power are used to being men in power. The judge we saw, no doubt thinks he is the funniest and most charming, but he delighted in making me uncomfortable and watching me flounder for polite responses. Example: When I answered sincerely to "Why do you want to change this document?", he responded-deadpan- with, "So you want to sneak around like a thief in the night and change some paperwork and manipulate the process to go join another country then?" (Of course he knows you can't laugh in response and must remain respectful, so what's right answer to that one?) He continued along those lines, but ultimately, there was no actual resistance to getting the decree. If you have the money, get a lawyer. (The judge also sarcastically commented on me trying to represent myself and the court clerk was unhelpful and lost the original filing.)
   
4. Bring someone with you. If you are not incredibly comfortable with legal proceedings, ridiculously organized, and dripping confidence, bring someone with you. It's not that big of a deal, but I genuinely think having my sweet teenage daughter there made the judge more cooperative even though I brought her to include her in the process for her own benefit. (She also handed me pens and held folders and such, which was more helpful than one would think.) If repairing your grandparents' records and obtaining dual citizenship is personally meaningful to you, it can be of value to have a loved one bear witness as well.
   
5. Duh, but bring a copy of EVERYTHING including the filing that got you the summons and the summons itself, because apparently, you can be summoned based on that paperwork and they still may not have any idea where it went when you arrive.
   
6. Expect confusion from clerks. While this is becoming more common, changing certificates of deceased individuals isn't done every day in every court. I had to have the filing ratified in the clerk's office after court and she was convinced I had swiped the original hard copy from the court and she tried to send me back. Another clerk intervened, but apparently, in most cases, the judge does not hand you the original file and tell you to carry it to the clerk's office. (In my case, a block away.)
   

I also tried to email and call the judge's personal clerk to ask if there were particular documents required as proof and she simply said, "I'm not your lawyer" and got off the phone. Fair enough, lol.
The clerks also had no idea how I should fill out the aforementioned forms which weren't designed with third party applicants in mind. (I brought three copies, each filled out differently, when I initially filed. The office clerks were incredibly sweet and helpful, but they just had no idea what to do and tried to reassure it was probably fine.)

My father was never a warm loving father figure, I like to describe the situation like this: I lived under the same roof as my sperm donor. He had a stroke a while back and was doing pretty well on his own but needed some help from time to time, which I never denied him.
So within the last year he was in a vehicle that broke down and I was giving him a ride back to his house when he asked me a question that he didn't like my answer and he proceeded to yell at me to "shut the fuck up" and tell me I'm "stupid.". And I'm thinking you know that's so fucking disrespectful to talk to your 42 year old son like that and I'm just about sick of this shit.
Due to his falling us kids basically forced him into assisted living. So now that he's there and doesn't need my help anymore I find myself distancing myself. He doesn't reach out to me and I have nothing to reach out to him about.
For example of his cold indifference a few months back I had COVID which then turned into pneumonia. I told him so he could avoid me and not catch it himself and his response was 'thanks for letting me know' and that was it! Never even got a how u feeling text, absolutely nothing!
So yeah AITAH for getting on with my life and not feeling bad that he's not a part of it? I mean in actuality he never was a part of my life. I'm just the guy he called for help with things.
Thanks and have a wonderful day!

hey, I'm looking for a roleplay partner who is willing to play male or female! the kind of roleplay I am looking for is a sort of opposites attract roleplay where we play two characters with very different backgrounds, yours from a more wealthier family and mine from a more poor-ish neighbourhood. I want it to be very opposites attract based, with your character being a bit more prim and proper and mine being more punk-like and rebellious. My oc would be in a band, which your oc is a bit of a fan of because its their way to get out of their proper ways and just let loose for a little while, and maybe my oc can see yours and be so confused as to why someone so nicely dressed would be interested in their band, maybe ask them if they had a partner who dragged them to the preformance. I think their trope could be fun, with your oc trying to keep mine under control and mine doing some pretty reckless things and coming to your oc after. maybe after my oc gets hurt or something, he could come to your oc to be patched up from it, with your character being scolding him a bit. this is all up to discussion of course and i would love to hear your thoughts. Send a dm if interested! (please don't leave a comment saying "can I dm?" It annoys me a little bit when people do that-) and also dm me if you have any changes you would like, I'm super open to discussion!

First off, note that my story has a happy ending (thus far.) But, mine is a case where I almost didn't even call for advice, and I'm so glad I did. I just wanted to encourage any other (especially first-timers) who like me, hemmed and hawed about going in for observation and explain why I have zero regrets about actually going in. This will be stupidly long but I really want others to see a non-scary story to just go if you have any question at all! TL;DR at the end for those who want it.
I am 29+5 today, and yesterday had a super minor fall at work at the end of the day. As in, I went to sit down on my rolling stool, missed slightly, and landed on my butt. I have to emphasize, I thought it was really no big deal - I fell almost in slow motion, didn't hit my belly, and was MUCH more embarrassed than hurt.
My baby even kicked me right afterwards as if to say, "Geez, Ma, what are you doing out there?" No cramps, no gush of fluid, no bleeding, and he was moving just fine.
Still, I had read plenty of times on this sub reddit, my baby books, and other sources that pretty much any fall at a certain point in the pregnancy warranted at least a phone call to the doctor. And my quick Google when I got home reiterated the same. Literally every single result said to call. So I did, and immediately buffered my question with "I'm sorry because this is probably a waste of your time, but I'm X far along and had Y type of fall happen, so I just wanted to do my due diligence and call." The receptionist was so lovely and didn't make me feel like a waste of time in the least bit.
She saw on my chart how far away from the hospital I am (40 minutes give or take depending on traffic) and said that since I wasn't having any bad symptoms and baby was moving, chances are the nurse wouldn't ask me to come in, but she wanted to make sure. A brief hold later and she said, "Actually, we do want you to come in to labor & delivery for a 1-hour observation, just in case. Any fall at this stage is worth getting checked out."
My heart sank a bit. I was honestly not even worried, and I hated the idea of wasting the gas, time, and whatever the observation would cost for them to just tell me everything is fine. On the flipside, obviously I take my son's safety very seriously, and decided that there's probably a reason they have a blanket recommendation to come in after a fall, even after I took pains to explain how much of a nothingburger it seemed to be.
Nonetheless, my husband and parents both insisted that I was doing the right thing by going in, and that they would all sleep better tonight knowing baby and I were both okay. My own birth was an emergency c-section at 30 weeks after my mom's amniotic fluid disappeared and I'd stopped growing around 26 weeks, so I can understand why my folks were of the better-safe-than-sorry mindset.
To try to make a long story short, we went to the hospital, they got me back right away because it was super quiet, and got me settled in with monitors. I could hear his heartbeat straight away, nice and strong, and heard, felt, and saw his kicks against the monitors lol. I already felt glad that we actually came in, because I think I was almost more afraid of the process of getting there than of anything actually being wrong. Plus, my next appointment isn't until the end of this month, so it would've been a long time to wait and wonder. After almost an hour, the doctor came in to check on us, and that's when I was utterly convinced this was NOT a waste of time.
She explained that my baby was looking great, but that I was having low level contractions (!!) She asked if I could feel them, but I couldn't, although I wasn't sure if that was because he was moving so much, or if they really weren't noticeable. She said this was normal after a fall, but could also be due to not eating enough or being dehydrated. I'd eaten a fairly normal amount yesterday and hadn't quite hit my water quota but had had a lot (maybe between 40-50oz?) So they had me stay another half hour or so just to make sure the contractions either stayed the same or slowed down. If they didn't, they would probably want me to stay 24 hours.
Luckily, at the end of it, they said the contractions slowed from when I first came in, and let me go. They just said to watch for any signs of premature labor.
All of that to say, I'm glad nothing too scary came of it (yet at least!) but I definitely learned my lesson not to overthink it about coming in. They recommended that I ask for a solid chair with a back at work, and said I could get a letter from my doctor issuing an accommodation for it if needed, which I appreciate. Otherwise, just going to be a little extra careful and wait and see. Hopefully my little one cooks for a while longer!
TL:DR - 29+4. Had a seemingly very light fall onto my butt at work, decided to call it in just to be safe, assumed I wouldn't have to go in, did have to go in, hemmed and hawed about it but I'm glad I went, because baby was fine but I was having light contractions and didn't know it. Contractions slowed down and I got to go home, but learned my lesson about not hesitating to get checked out!

Backstory: My (37F) son (17M) has a very strained relationship with his father and stepmom. He is trans (FtM) and they are Catholic, so they refuse to accept his transition and call him by his dead name and pronouns. He lives with me full time after having a huge fight with them shortly after coming out. (He used to live with them 50/50). His father is quite passive, and stepmom is a narcissist. He goes along with everything she says.
My son is graduating in a month. He just handed out invites to his grad party. Shortly after giving one to his dad and stepmom, Stepmom text my son about his grades and if he is even graduating. (My son doesn't have the best GPA but he is on track to graduate). She was extremely condescending on the texts and asked if he needed to come stay with her and dad because obviously I wasn't tracking his grades well enough.
He sent me the texts, and I kindly text her back, saying I appreciate the concern, but he is on track to graduate and I have it handled. And that in the future, I wish she would text more about his day then to just get on him about grades. And that it hurts him that she seemingly only reaches out when something is wrong. She then responded with a snarky that she can see the grades and she called the school, and that DEAD NAME'S counselor is also concerned about his grades. And that she texts DEAD NAME all the time. (She does not. My son tells me every time her or dad text or call).
After that, I blew up on her. I told her his name is PREFERRED NAME and his pronouns are He/Him and it's time she respected that. She countered with " You are a fucking idiot. You can't change your sex, you fucking moron. You have her so brainwashed, it's pathetic."
After that, I told her not to bother coming to the grad party and that she was uninvited. She said "Try and stop me."
My son was pretty upset about the whole thing afterwards, and had a bit of a mental health spiral. I think he is afraid that his dad won't come now.
So, Am I the asshole? Obviously, I was just trying to protect my son. I have been civil and compliant of this narcissistic bitch for years and I can't keep letting her talk to my son the way she does anymore. I'm starting to think maybe I should have just ignored her to stay civil until after graduation.

First and foremost, this is a huge thank you to the existence of this sub and all the wonderful people in it! Second, yes, I really do mean this sub has saved my life twice!
I've lurked this sub reading all your stories, both good and bad, for a long time. I got to learn the "bingo" as well as signs a partner is not actually CF and even more worryingly the sneaky ways they can try to trap someone into a life they don't want. I've (F41) tried to get sterilized ever since I was 19 and finally managed it just before turning 39. There's more to that story below.
First time: Was dating a person that initially told me he was confirmed CF and that's why I even gave him a serious chance. He was perfect in every other way and love bombed me into oblivion. He mused about "maybe what if it just happened" more and more frequently. I kept saying absolutely not! We ultimately ended things for other reasons, however towards the end he'd always find some excuse to try to not use a condom (I was firm on no fun times if he didn't) and distract me from taking my BC. I know it sounds stupid I didn't put two and two together sooner. It's not like it was super obvious and when you're that close to the problem you don't always see it. I started to catch on to some key words and phrases I had seen warned about here. I immediately ended it. Short version of the resulting drama is that he lied about being CF and believed all women should have at least 1-3 children and then be a caregiver for life. Yeah, no. Going forward, I paid better attention as well as very firmly made my stance known and that nothing will change it. Now I have a wonderful partner!
Second time: Sept 2022, using the lists found here, I finally had a no-questions-asked women's health office, doctor, and surgeon willing to sterilize me (removal of fallopian tubes)! Y'all. I wept from sheer relief and kind of scared the doctor lol. We went over family history and he became alarmed I kept adding to the cancer list and that my dad died of pancreatic cancer several years ago. I was immediately set up for a genetic marker test and it came back positive in a "it's when, not if" kind of way. He then shifted gears to encouraging a total hysterectomy and was surprised when I was all for it. Not like I'm going to use the stuff for it's intended purpose, I'd like to be done with periods (pretty positive I had endometriosis, confirmed after surgery), and I'd handle whatever menopause symptoms came my way (so far just hot flashes/night sweats and weight gain). After the procedure, they sent all the bits for testing and THEY FOUND CANCER! The surgery itself was considered the cure because it was so small and just starting, but I opted for a few sessions of chemo anyway to be absolutely sure. I've been deemed cancer free since June 2023!
To wrap this up, a massive thank you to this sub's existence, the resources it provided, and the community to being awareness and support. You really did save my life twice!

I bought tickets via mobile application as i always do. I made my payment, i checked my mobile application to see my trips. Everything was okey. After 14 days, my friend asked my flight details and i logged in to mobile app. What i saw nothing, there is no trip in my my-trips. I thought there is problem on mobile app, so i logged in web browser. Still there is no trip. I chatted with support, they said it was cancelled on that day. Support couldn't find my transactions and only suggested claim an issue via https://www.klm.nl/en/claim/. The strange thing is i can see my flight on claim page. I wanted to contact with someone else, so i wrote them via whatsup now they say, system failed to issue to your tickets. Now, they say they will pay me back. All prices doubled, even i say ok and move on there is no available seats for that flight. Who is going to cover my damage? None, it is the same when you scammed.

So I had a light brown mole on my temple and my mom stared intensively at it from time to time. Like we were having meal together and she sat in front of me and suddenly I see her staring at me and I ask what are you looking at, and she says laughing, "oh nothing, can I not stare at my daughter..." and after a while "you know that mole on your face, you could get it removed, it's not a big deal, a GP can do that for sure". Well that happened so often that one day I told her , ok let's get it removed as she had told me that she could actually make an appointment FOR ME. (I was already 20-21-years old back then). And I felt so bad about my looks because of that staring and thought I must be really really ugly because of this mole. And I really wanted that staring to end.
So she made an appointment with the GP for me and there was this doctor who told me that normally they don't remove moles from face at GP because it can be a big risk. The doctor also told me that it may grow back and there might be scarring. No scar gel or something was recommended and I was so stupid I didn't even think of it. I was just so glad that finally it was over, my mom could stop staring at me and I could be pretty again. But the real hell began after that. First it was a light scar. Then it got a bit bigger, and then the mole began to grow back UNDER the scar. Now after years of that surgery it's a pinkish-white-brown-mix that looks like cancer. It looks so terrible I hate walking outdoors and I try to hide it with my hair. I have showed it to one GP and asked if there could actually be cancer in it now, but they said no. But I feel so unsure and I've considered going to a dermatologist.
I think the scar inside of me is bigger and uglier than the scar on my face. I don't know how to get along with this. I think about the "mole" and my mom every day when I see myself in the mirror. I feel so damaged and most of all SO stupid for what she made me do. I don't know what I want, but I just wanted to tell my story here. It's probably one of the few things I haven't been able to talk about with my therapist. If I say it out loud I'm afraid I might get exposed somehow.

Hello there I (M19) have been dating my GF (F18) for 3 months now. We haven`t been dating for a long time but I am afraid to hurt her feelings. I don`t really know how to describe these thoughts I have about her but I feel like whenever we talk I have to restrain myself from speaking my feelings or what I truly think about a certain subject. I usually have to bite my tongue. When I do speak my true thoughts she usually snaps at my comments and I feel like I`m tormented by her and that I can`t be myself. She once asked me for help with finding a keyboard for her, and I gladly helped. But the majority of time when we were searching she was angry at me for "not finding the right color keyboard", and she never let me explain the benefits of some. It was difficult enough helping her with a hard task finding a keyboard for her crazy preferences but she would interrupt me and say "Yes Yes" in a nasty tone all the time. This "Yes Yes" behaviour was always present in our conversations. The biggest thing I really don`t like is how she threats her mother. It`s awful and most of the time not justified. She threats her the same way as me but 10 times more nastier, witch is disrespectful to her mother. When we started hanging out she was always very king and laughing , but after these last few weeks I have my doubts about her. I can`t see myself being with her anymore. It has gone to a stage where I can`t even bring myself to take her out on a date and wanting just to talk to her. I feel like I`m being supressed and tormented and the thought of her makes me feel sad and a little disgusted. I know the relationship isn`t old and there shouldn`t be a lot of drama if we brake up. But I`m not happy and I can`t bring myself to end it or I rather don`t know how to end it. The main reason is because we go to the same school and I will se her quite often. And we also have a school trip at the beginning of summer where she will go beside with me. I don`t know how to end it in a way that she doesn`t react badly. have a feeling that she will make a scene at school in a very immature way. I would love your thoughts and advice.

Okay, so I think y'all are gonna need some context first. I (15M, a few months away from turning 16) have a brother (18M), let's call him Greg (obviously NOT his real name). 2 years ago, I accidentally saw Greg's twitter profile and questioned the fact that his pronouns were She/her, which unsurprisingly puzzled me as I had no idea why. After a quick conversation on discord, as to not raise hell from my parents (now 52M and soon-53F), he confessed to feeling like he wanted to be a woman. Now bear in mind, I respected it and didn't give two craps, I was never too close with my family (nothing extreme though) and couldn't care less. I think it was a few weeks later, 1 or 2 i think, my mother found out. I do believe he told her himself, maybe knowing she wasn't gonna be the first to realize what was going on. And here's where crap hit the fan, you could say, as it started a living hell.
Something people might not know about my parents is, they are VERY stubborn on their ways (a.k.a. their old-as-heck mindset), and my mother didn't exactly like the idea that my brother was trans (oh yeah, he later admitted that same day that he liked both genders, but nobody cared about it as much, Greg included). My mother did ask for my opinion but I said "I dont care what Greg does with his life, it means nothing to me. As long as you stay out of my way, I'm fine with whatever happens. Though, I do kinda get where he's coming from, I wont intervene", and proceeded to leave to my room as it truly meant nothing.
Or so I thought, because a few months later, Greg was bold enough to come to me, clearly stating he wanted me to give him my old phone (an old Alcatel that could barely use WhatsApp and didn't even have a touchscreen, that was my first phone before my actual iPhone 6s I got from backmarket). He intended to sell his iPhone 7 for money to get himself private health care (in my country, public health care IS free but my parents were in control), obviously behind my parents' backs, and he also tried selling me his laptop (which did just recently get passed down to me but for free AND better reasons) with a BROKEN BATTERY for $200. Guys, the damn battery fix costs, and Greg told me that himself, ANOTHER 50 DOLLARS. All I could think was "Is this moron effing joking?", but no he was not and he insisted, but he went back empty-handed and I had a cool threat under my belt in case I needed it. I thought of it like that mainly because of how paranoid I am, and I always like to prepare for the worst case scenario.
Coincidentally, that came like a month later when I was summoned to an exceptionally rare (and awkward ngl) family meeting discussing Greg's feelings and, after a year of me finding out, revealed the truth to my father. As a backup plan, I picked up the Alcatel and stuff it into my pocket just in case (and that, everyone, is why you need to have pockets in your clothes at all times). Sure, I didn't use it, but I was ready to. My father was pretty much mortified at the revelation. And while my father is a great manipulator and always says thing with the intent to trick Greg and me, I did empathize with him a fair bit, honestly.
After this day, we entered what I will call the Horror Year, filled with constant arguing between parents and Greg, and them venting it all out on me. Now before you comment how "you could've done the same", no I could not, my one and only best friend deserves WAY better than getting even slightly involved in this BS. So I ended up holding everything to myself, seeing how my brother cried and my parents yelled at him or even hit him on one occasion (boy was that loud, I heard that with my headphones on but thankfully wasnt a strong swing) and hearing them all vent their crap on ME, my brother telling me how "my parents should un-alive", or "how they suck and wont help me recover my mental health and study what I want" (he wants to get into gamedev in Japan) or even how "they'd rather buy me a car before helping me achieve my dreams" (both cost around the same according to Greg and his internet research bs), and hearing my parents say how "you both can do whatever you want here in your country better than abroad" (most likely false especially in gamedev, by the way) or how "he's just throwing a tantrum" and that "he's just an inexperienced brat who has no idea about life and how hard real life is". They are also the kinda parents that never understood things like us appreciating our videogame save files and considering games something more than a "just for a little bit of time" kinda hobby. That is especially true for me. They even say that nothing in my house is mine, but rather that all of it is THEIRS and THEY are letting us BORROW our computers and stuff, coz THEY paid for it so THEY own it and THEY should be able to use our computers (especially mine apparently) anytime they want it with or without our consent or knowledge. of course they cant as my user has a huge password LOL. But yeah, you get the idea of just how everyone here acts.
To be frank with y'all, I'm starting to lose it. A few days ago, my brother went to an appointment with the doctor to get his treatment and was told there were health risks (very low according to Greg, decently important according to my parents) and to also attend a psychologist (he cried cuz of all that, like LEGIT crying). Actually that all happened yesterday as of writing. Now, I'm losing my patience and told my mother to "not be surprised if one day my mind shuts down and I hurt someone here, coz I just might if you a**holes dont effing stop this BS". I seriously might just blow up, and I think my wooden katana I have for martial arts classes wont like it too much when I do blow up. Not only am I scared that my family dividing might affect me, but I also resent them all for making me suffer in a broken home, all by myself with NOONE to trust. I have the power to try and manipulate the situation a little bit but I dont know how. Cn anyone help me?
P.S.: I told my parents I wanted them to let Greg do it before his appointment with the doctor, mainly coz I want him to learn the hard way if he ends up regretting his choice just the same way I learnt from my own mistakes. Still dont care about his or my parent's feelings though.
TL;DR: My trans brother is causing hell in my family and they all vent on ME, now I'm stuck in a very annoying situation. What do I do now?

I (24/F) have this friend (21/F) who I met two summers ago and is part of our larger friend group. Her and I were very flirty with each other the first summer we met, but I had purposefully not taken it further because she was 19 then and I felt icky about the age gap. I had made up my mind that if she wouldn’t make a move I was not going to either. Her and I continue to be flirty with each other, so much so even her mom asked her if we were dating and she said we weren’t but made it known in front of our friends that she would “go for me, but I wouldn’t go for her” in the moment looking back I could have easily just brought up the age difference but I ended up saying that she wasn’t my type and I wouldn’t go for her because she is “high maintenance” (I know it’s a stupid thing to say but I was taken aback) That ended any talk about dating or anything. We would still be flirty but we settled into a friendship that the both of us would say we enjoy.
Last summer she had a two week trip she took and that extended time away from her really made me sad and within those few weeks it hit me that I did like her a lot more than I had thought. I had been pushing my feelings down so as to not lose the friendship and all my emotional floodgates opened. I was now actively crushing on her, but I felt that it would be weird for me to pursue anything because she was still 20. I told myself once she turns 21 I could possibly bring up dating, but even telling her about my feelings and risking the friendship sounded scary. A couple months after this realization she ended up with a boyfriend. I made my peace with the fact that her and I weren’t going to be a thing and that the friendship wasn’t worth throwing away for my feelings. She turned 21 and we celebrated her birthday as a big group.
She somehow ended up spending Thanksgiving with my family and one night while very much under the influence I ended up just telling her I had liked her and she just kinda brushed it aside. We didn’t quite talk about it and I took her not bringing it up as rejection, I felt awful for blurting my feelings when she was clearly with her boyfriend. Her and I continue to be friends but a month after this whole thing she breaks up with her boyfriend. I had made sure to keep my distance as I got over her and our friendship was still good. I stopped engaging anytime she would be flirtatious with me and that slowly died down until a day ago. We were just hanging out when a conversation just led to her asking me out on a date? I frankly blacked out the conversation because I was so confused I told her she was not being serious but she insisted she was and I just told her that I had already confessed my feelings to her and she was confused because she didn’t think my words back in thanksgiving was a confession and that explained why she hadn’t brought it up. She was serious about going on the date and we have it planned for tomorrow but I am not sure how to feel. I have been working on getting over her the last few months but the moment she asked me I was more than eager to say yes, so how much of my feelings have dissipated? I don’t know I need advise on how to feel and act.