So yeah i have to start this like a story. Me (M20Bi INFJ) My Guy Friend (M19Bi ISFP) met in our city Sub like a half-week ago from today where i posted a post for one night hookup so many freaks dm me he was ine of them others where like be my bottom I'll fuck you then just tata bye bye. I honestly was not expecting my wife there but he was bit different he talked to me with like We're very alike so we talk sweet things that how we'll do our job like sexting so i found this guy intresting so i told him to message me on Instagram so he did its happened just after an hour i Posted on sub so yeah for like one day we talked about many things like our crushes why I'm interested in boys now (this is my lust only). So things turned ou great as we thought we're like eachother so we discussed where to meet but for some reason I'm out of my town I'll go there in after a month. So we discussed how it will be done then we talk about friendship i tbh don't have any best friend neither he do (as per he says) so i talked about how we'll get it done i mean sex we both are virgin so we want to make it special. I'm an infj so i have a problem of perfectionism. So i decided how I'll lose my virginity like a year ago but the plan was with girl but it's ok i admit that i don't have guts to talk to girl and approach her. So yeah back at story' i told him my plan, that was basic like we'll douch asses and bath togather and then blowjobs and then anal etc. So i don't know this plan was lengthy for him as his parents are very strict. So told me that we won't have that much time we have do this in like 10-02 morning - noon like really!! then we both agreed to my plan then eventually he block me 😥 from reddit and insta both i really felt pain like i questions myself that how can i be gay ? For just to take down my 10 min Lust how can i be Internet whore for these people. Then i decided to Never be gay again it wad like post nut clarity. Believe me i was rock hard. But the pain was that when we were talking i kinda feel connection between us was like friends like best friends !! So i was sad the. After two day i was checking regularly that he unblock ne or not but today he finnally unblock me and we talked about what happened so he apologized to me and said "i was feel like what am doing as men ?" So i didn't asked much about it. But i told him that we'll cancel my plan and do whatever he likes and i suggest him if he really wants this or not i don't want this if he don't but i just want him to be my friend. So he told me he wants this inbetween my and his plan. So yeah I'm doing (i mean sex with him) this. And i think this is actually very lengthy discription na ?
So yeah that's it so my main question is how to make him mine and be hus best friend ?
Tell me about what not to do in friendship And what to do in friendship with isfp.
(so yeah forgive me bro if i hurt you in any way ☺️ I'm glad we're friends now)

So yeah i have to start this like a story. Me (M20Bi INFJ) My Guy Friend (M19Bi ISFP) met in our city Sub like a half-week ago from today where i posted a post for one night hookup so many freaks dm me he was ine of them others where like be my bottom I'll fuck you then just tata bye bye. I honestly was not expecting my wife there but he was bit different he talked to me with like We're very alike so we talk sweet things that how we'll do our job like sexting so i found this guy intresting so i told him to message me on Instagram so he did its happened just after an hour i Posted on sub so yeah for like one day we talked about many things like our crushes why I'm interested in boys now (this is my lust only). So things turned ou great as we thought we're like eachother so we discussed where to meet but for some reason I'm out of my town I'll go there in after a month. So we discussed how it will be done then we talk about friendship i tbh don't have any best friend neither he do (as per he says) so i talked about how we'll get it done i mean sex we both are virgin so we want to make it special. I'm an infj so i have a problem of perfectionism. So i decided how I'll lose my virginity like a year ago but the plan was with girl but it's ok i admit that i don't have guts to talk to girl and approach her. So yeah back at story' i told him my plan, that was basic like we'll douch asses and bath togather and then blowjobs and then anal etc. So i don't know this plan was lengthy for him as his parents are very strict. So told me that we won't have that much time we have do this in like 10-02 morning - noon like really!! then we both agreed to my plan then eventually he block me 😥 from reddit and insta both i really felt pain like i questions myself that how can i be gay ? For just to take down my 10 min Lust how can i be Internet whore for these people. Then i decided to Never be gay again it wad like post nut clarity. Believe me i was rock hard. But the pain was that when we were talking i kinda feel connection between us was like friends like best friends !! So i was sad the. After two day i was checking regularly that he unblock ne or not but today he finnally unblock me and we talked about what happened so he apologized to me and said "i was feel like what am doing as men ?" So i didn't asked much about it. But i told him that we'll cancel my plan and do whatever he likes and i suggest him if he really wants this or not i don't want this if he don't but i just want him to be my friend. So he told me he wants this inbetween my and his plan. So yeah I'm doing (i mean sex with him) this. And i think this is actually very lengthy discription na ?
So yeah that's it so my main question is how to make him mine and be hus best friend ?
Tell me about what not to do in friendship And what to do in friendship with isfp.
(so yeah forgive me bro if i hurt you in any way ☺️ I'm glad we're friends now)

Hey, I'm in a real predicament and I genuinely feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Before I get into it here's some background, I'm 24, live in the UK, have a mortgage and live with my partner living of my sole income, this will be important later
So I come from a sales background of 5 years, primarily in tech, and due to the business I was part of, took for growth was slim so I needed a change of pace. During this time I did the math, saved up and managed to acquire a mortgage and move out of my parents home and be fully sufficient, after which I managed to find a well paying apprenticeship program (more than what I was on in sales, including bonus) and made it through and got the role, this was ~6 months ago
The apprenticeship is a fully remote role, in software development for a small but broadly known in the respected field company. When I applied for the role, I mentioned a strong knack for learning programming languages, and wanting to improve my knowledge and expand my portfolio, and based on the job listing, this was a perfect match for what they were after, and of course I got the role.
Fast forward to now, and the work we've been given has been more or less completely irrelevant to what my apprenticeship programme wants, we have assignments that require work to be done to guidelines within the workplace which I am unable to complete because I don't have evidence for doing these things within the workplace... Because we haven't.
Iv taken steps to try to amend this, iv spoken to my manager and the CEO about there words were "your not falling behind, don't think that" as if to say don't beat yourself up, your fine. When in reality I'm not. After this, I spoke to my contact at my apprenticeship programme and they said they would look into it. But honestly I'm in the headspace where, If I didn't have things to pay for, I'd leave and try again elsewhere
Overall I feel like I'm being let down by my employer for not giving me the tools, technical knowledge and techniques that were promised in the interview and job listing and currently sat, lost and stressed to pieces because it's out of my control
Any advice? Do I just wait and hope? Is there any legal processess I should look into?

So there is this song I hear every so often at work that I've heard on the radio when I was younger on a station called 107.1 the monkey 🐒. This is a southern ms radio station that plays r&b hiphop and some rock here and there. This song 🎵 is a hip hop beat with a repetitive sax sound in it that sounds like the notes go up and down or back and forth. I think at the beginning it has a few words but then all you hear is the beat and the sax throughout the rest of the song until at the very end it slows way down then abruptly ends. I have been searching for this song for years now and could never find it. I can even sing it on Shazam or soundhound because it just doesn't come out right. It kinda sounds like this " da dun, dah dah dun, da dun da da dun " with the dun part sounding like the low note on the saxophone or horn sound that just keeps repeating with a beat in the background. Can someone please end my suffering. 😅

I find the obsession the Naruto fandom has with creating a “fair” and “equal” power system strange. It feels like whenever there’s an imbalance (for instance the sharingan being stronger than the byakugan) people get upset as if it’s some sort of competitive video game that needs a patch to fix it. Rather than looking at what Kishimoto is trying to say in his story by having certain powers be stronger than others, the community seems focused on whether or not the powers are “balanced” well enough, and seemingly disregard the story in the process. This ironically is something Kishimoto comments on through the infinite tsukuyomi, a dream world without real conflict or inequality, that threatens to destroy humanity under the veil of “peace”.
I want to say this a result of the common misconception that Naruto is about hard work overcoming natural talent. Now natural talent vs hard work is a theme of Naruto, but Kishimoto never states concretely which is superior, instead showing us nuance where in the line is blurred and you can’t tell the difference (e.g. Rock Lee being a “genius at hard work”). The more important theme that Kishimoto stresses is the importance of endurance, and having the guts to not give up (which is why Rock Lee loses to Gaara, and his arc ends with him bravely risking a life threatening surgery to pursue his dream of becoming a splendid shinobi). Despite this, there is a commonly held misconception within the community that Naruto is a series that consistently betrays one of its most common themes, and a symptom of this is the unbalanced power scaling. In an “ideal” world, the byakugan would apparently be as strong as the sharingan, all the tailed beasts would be equal, and every shinobi could have a unique kekkei genkai. This is not how Kishimoto portrays the Naruto world, and this seemingly upsets either a vocal minority, or a large majority of fans (it is hard to tell).
When the series focuses on the jinchuriki, or the Uchiha, major driving forces in the Naruto world that are responsible for shaping its history, I see a lot of people quick to disregard the story, wishing instead that it focused on the side characters, simply because Kishimoto does not tell them the story they want to hear. It seems to me as if most people simply want to be told that hard work alone is enough to succeed, and the themes of inherited will, overcoming hatred, and the strength of creating enduring bonds through and despite conflict are not as important.

With all the rumblings about a new Doom following two consecutive releases in the series, it's beginning to feel more and more likely that id Software might only be making Doom games for the foreseeable future.
This wouldn't be a massive departure from the current status quo. Since Doom 3, id Software has developed one single-player gamer on their own: 2011's Rage. During that time, they've dropped an iteration or two of Quake as an online-only multiplayer experience, while the rest of their IP's have been handled by outside studios: Raven made Quake 4 and Wolfenstein '09, MachineGames has made every Wolfenstein since 2014, Avalanche took the lead on Rage 2, and that Commander Keen mobile game certainly never happened **ahem**.
In summation: id Software make Doom games and serve as producers for others who make Wolfenstein and Quake. This model clearly works, so I could understand if they don't want to rock the boat needlessly. Stability is a hard thing to come by in the modern gaming industry.
That said, I'd be lying if I told you I wouldn't love to see id close out the current Wolfenstein series themselves while MachineGames is busy with Indiana Jones, or bring to the original Quake the same spirit of reinvention that made Doom 2016 and Eternal so great.
But if id were to focus on making Doom, would that be a bad thing? (I'll always be hyped for more from this series.) What would you rather see them working on right now?

Sobby tear eyes here (0 GME holder),
I’ve tucked my nuts back into my pants and dried my eyes and am here to give encouragement to those like me. Do not forget all the tinfoil, all the the DD, all the redactions, all the sealed information, all the cohencidences, EVERYTHING. Bear thesis doesn’t have a pot to piss in or a leg to stand on. If you’re like me and aren’t making money right now while the other stuff moons your time will come. OUR time will come. How do you keep long term value in a company? In companies plural? You beam them the fuck up into a holding company, you create something so clearly with institutional long value that no moron could short it.
Talk is cheap. It takes money to buy Ice cream.

Haiku :

Little kitten on The warm tuna grass Cicada ; the dreamlike state

Hello, if you decide to read my story, thank you for doing so. ❤️ I have had a two years where I rarely engaged with honestly kind people outside of my partner. I'd love to meet people who are humane , take up space , are authentic yet kind. I didn't meet one person like this during my entire time in that hell scape. everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was on survival mode there (I know it sounds like an exaggeration, which has been great fodder for my inner self gaslighting critic).
for context, people here are 1) homophobic 2) racist 3) caste-ist 4) don't believe women deserve the same rights as men (and if you mention this, they will attack you like pitbulls, which I learned the hard way) .
I learned to hide 80 percent of my personality, opinions , thoughts etc... I just listened. I grey rocked. I disassociated. what do I even say to people like this? people have gaslit themselves to oblivion. and so have I.
I used to post here on my previous account but deleted it because I moved somewhere where I was scared police would search through my phone so I deleted my old account.
I had such a wild trip of a life, I moved to Scandinavia to be with my ex to get away from my BPD mum, then he ended up having BPD and I had to leave. I went back to my home country in the middle east. It sucked. I hated it.
I popped back to my mothers place as a surprise after being NC for 9 months with her. It was weird. Then I moved out on my own to a city one hour away.
I took a job with very very very volatile people. I mean, the culture in my country encourages a type of narcissistic approach to life. It sucked. People were so inhumane left and right. I'm Neurodivergent and so very sensitive to stimulus and people. It was so bad for my soul. People scapegoated me like my mum did because I triggered them. But they didn't even communicate what is wrong, they just immediately scapegoated me (my boss, colleagues, etc - they said I'm emotionally not intelligent because I refuse to people please, but I'm perfectly respectful, just not for Arabic standards and expectations for a woman like me.)
I stayed for 2 years there. Now Im out and I live with my wonderful partner in the EU. I LOVE human rights 🥵 🥵 🥵 🥵 and TREES! GREENERY! SUNSHINE!
But I feel like I'm starting from ground up to heal from the restraumatization I experienced in my home country. I really did not expect it to turn out so bad. I know it wasn't personal how people treated me ; like an inferior scapegoat who is perceived as "dumb" because I don't fawn or grovel (even though I know that's important in the culture).
Literally people would complain I was rude just because on the phone I didn't sound happy enough? (Small tangent)
Anyway, I was living like a prey animal for two years because I was getting so triggered by people yelling at me or being contemptuous towards me when they felt personally slighted by me or my boundaries, and I didn't have time to regulate. I felt so ashamed of being confident and not anxious, as if it's bad to feel relaxed and bad to be confident cuz it's like a sign of bad work ethic and allegedly only specific types of people deserve to feel confident (usually rich people or white people or the local native population) which was so shallow to me.... But apparently I was the "difficult" one.
I hope I can heal and feel fulfilled again. I lost myself in the middle east. I didn't fit in at all.

It is a man, old and scraggy. He wears a jacket that lays over the red plaid button shirt and blue jeans. He wears an old baseball cap and a pair of glasses. He yelled something to Dad, holding his hands up like he was pleading, although we couldn’t hear it over the truck engine. They talked, but we couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“Hey, what are they saying”, I asked, while petting Matt’s hair, calming him. The old man then put his hands down and came close to Dad in a cautious way. They seem to start having some kind of conversation.
“I don’t really know, hopefully, something good”, Mom answered. They talked for a little while, with daylight beginning to disappear, giving us a sense of dread, and making me more worried about what weird creature was going to show up. Eventually, the old man turned and pointed toward what I think is the northeast. They then shook hands and walked back to their respective vehicles. “What’s going on”, Mom asked as Dad got into the truck.
“Well, our new friend here invited us to dinner at his farm”, Dad replied.
“Does he have supplies?”
“Well, he says has supplies for us to make the journey.”
“Should we even trust him? We just met h-”
“Relax, he’s just an old man, living alone at his farm, feeding his cows. What could go wrong”, Dad countered. The old man then entered the truck that was running and drove slowly, expecting us to follow him.
“Alrighty then, but we have to be cautious”, Mom said, with her suspicions of the old man. We then followed the old truck along the dark, frozen road. It just feels like something is going to show up along the road, but nothing happened. Matt did eventually stop crying, but he is still upset about the Joe escape thing.
“Where are we going”, Matt lamented, with the prior series of events in mind.
“I guess somebody is offering us dinner”, I answered.
“Why can’t we just go home?”
“It’s only going to be a stop, like a hotel. After that, we go to our new home, I guess”, I said, taking another look at Matt and cradling to comfort him. “It’s going to be okay.” I stared out into the darkness. I looked to the sky from the window and I faintly saw something in the clear, dark sky, lit up by the waning moon. They were brilliant, green auroras that defy the bright moon, dancing across the sky like ribbons in the wind. The truck eventually took a right-hand turn into another road, with us following suit. I can see a bright, orange light emerging from a patch of tree. When we passed by, it seemed it was a house, at a farm, burning in a massive flame.
“I guess those people aren’t so, uh, lucky”, Dad said, taking a quick look at it before looking at the road. Passing by, we went on and continued to follow the old man’s truck. We passed onto another intersection until he turned into a driveway to what I believe to be his farm. Going into the driveway, I can see an old house, along with a dilapidated farm further away, barely visible by the headlights. The old man parked by the house, where there were a few other trucks there. We parked alongside the truck and we got out into the cold, near-silent night.
“Welcome to sanctuary, where all are welcome”, the old man bellowed. This is the first time I’ve heard his voice. Matt was the last to get out of the truck, slowly and clumsily climbing out of the truck.
“What’s your name”, my Mom politely asked the old man.
“Oh, I guess your husband didn’t tell ya. My name is Steven, but you can call me Steve”, the old man said, with some crackling in his voice. “I am very proud to host a dinner for you and your family”, he continued. “What’s your name, ma’am?”
“Oh, my name is Janice”, Mom replied, quite pleased at his politeness.
“Hello, Janice, and what are their names”, Steven asked, pointing to me and Matt.
“That’s my daughter Kate and my son Matt”, Dad said to Mom.
“Oh, what wonderful names for a couple of beautiful children you have”, Steve grinned. “Come, it is dangerous out here.” We followed him to the house, which looked like it had seen better days. He entered through the double-set door, the first a solid door and a screen door behind. Entering the house, it smelled like what you’d expect, old man. Looking onto the floor is made of glossy wood and walls with cracks, likely caused by the earthquake. It is dark in there, lit by candlelight from many candles, yet it’s fairly warm here. I don’t know why we went into the house, but Dad was right, Steve is just a lonely, old man. Matter of fact, there seems to be nothing wrong here, other than the cracks in the walls. “Sorry, the power went out. Had to resort to the candles. I knew my wife would come in handy”, Steve explained as he took his coat off. “Oh, supper will be ready right away. Had to use the fireplace to cook. Also, can you take your boots off?” We took our boots and set them aside. We went into what seemed to be a living room, with dusty old-style furniture.
“So, where do we sit”, Mom asked.
“Oh, well, follow me”, Steve commanded, leading us to the dining room, with a long, wooden table and six wooden chairs, along with their corresponding old-fashioned plates, glasses and cutlery, lit up in the candlelight. We noticed that everything on the table was covered in a thin veil of dust. “My apologies, the recent shocks dropped a bit of dust on the table”, he explained as he noticed us looking at the plates and moved into another room nearby. “Take your seats if you like.” We all settled onto the chairs, and blew off our plates of the dust settled there.
“When will we eat”, Matt impatiently said.
“Once Steve comes out with the food”, Mom answered. Matt sat there with a tired look on his face. Dad seemed to be in a better mood than before and it looked like he wanted to start a conversation.
“Hey, should we talk about something”, Dad asked. I then see Steve with a bowl and a silver plate.
“Here we go, may not be much, but at least it’ll fulfil the soul”, Steve said, smiling when he served us mashed potatoes and meatloaf. “So, shall we pray?” That came unexpectedly, as we are not too religious, but we were in his house and gave us shelter and food.
“Sure, we can do that”, Mom said and we all bowed our heads and put our hands together. Steve cleared his throat
“Thank you, Lord, for this good food to feed the soul in these hard times. I shall pray, in the name of the Lord and Jesus Christ, that these hard times shall be over, so we can get on with our lives. Amen.” We raised our heads and grabbed whatever food there was onto our plates. “Oh, there’s no gravy, so we have to deal with bare potaters and meatloaf.”
“Oh, not to worry. Thank you for the food”, Dad thanked Steve. We began to eat the food once we got it sorted.
“So, what brings you here”, Steve asked.
“Well, there is an evacuation order in effect for this area, so we had to go to Regina”, Dad explained, with Steve taking in every word. “So, we came from Strasbourg, we tried going south towards Regina, but we hit an obstacle in the way and we had to take another route, leading us here.”
“And we encountered a few odd things along the way”, Mom added.
“Huh, interesting. What do you guys think is going on”, Steve inquired.
“By the things we saw, we have no idea. Dinosaurs, devil dogs, hell pigs, the whole deal. I shouldn’t forget the earthquake. They told us a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake”, Dad clarified to Steve.
“Hmm… is that so”, Steve wondered. “Wonder what I think is happening? The Rapture is happening. Do you know how the Bible tells us of the end times? Good people sent to be with God and his kingdom, the rest here to suffer the Hell unleashed by Satan.” By this point, he was beginning to rant, but we couldn't stop it as we all began to feel tired and powerless. “So, the Devil will send his demons in the form of these illusions so that they can torment the sinners. It is happening, it is-” Steve manically continued as I drew towards blackness and his voice becoming less coherent. My vision is now all black.
I saw those same lights, but more rapidly than before. I then emerged onto the same clear sky, but something felt different. I can smell something in the air. I can smell what seems to be chemicals in the air. Looking down, I was terrified. Dark, grey rock in the shape of ropes and folds, similar to those I saw of lava flows on a volcano in pictures. This went on as far as the eye could see. I can see no tree this time, just the cooled lava everywhere. I then walked, feeling every bump and crag. I thought I walked forever until I heard a rumbling sound and woke up.
I am in total darkness. It is cold and it smells like cow manure. I tried to move my hand, but it seemed to be bonded behind my back by a rope. I tried to move my feet, but they were also bound by rope to the legs I tried to speak, only to realise my mouth was agape by a cloth in my mouth. I heard shuffling nearby but I could not see. It was then shone in light when Steve entered the door, holding a candle, revealing all of us in the same situation. I then can see what we are in. We are in that same wooden dilapidated barn we saw earlier and seems to be more damaged than the house, wood creaking can be heard.
“These sedatives are more effective than I thought. Maybe I should use them more often”, Steve smoothly explained, like he’s some kind of agent and began pacing. “Wonder why you are here? Well, I wondered the same thing to myself, why didn’t God take me to his heaven? When I first heard of the government telling us of those evacuation plans, I thought it was that, a leaking pipe. I began to notice things I couldn’t believe myself, at least at first. Earthquakes, weird creatures showing up, people disappearing, the whole spiel. I connected the dots. The Rapture is happening, for sure, but why me? Why was I the one left here on this Earth”, Steve calmly ranted, pacing around the barn, but it seemed to sound crazier and angrier the more he paced. “I thought I had lost my way. I’ve been unfaithful to God and his son. But, I realised that God always has a plan and he left me on this Earth to serve a purpose. I wondered what my purpose was until I had a moment.” He then stopped in place and calmed down. He turned to look at Mom with accusing yet crazed eyes.
“I’m supposed to keep the sinners here in line, to earn a place in God’s kingdom, or suffer in Hell. I know you are a sweet woman, Janice, but your treachery with Satan is over and I am going to do what’s right.” Mom then looked at all of us, with assuring eyes like that of an innocent yet caring mother we all know knew. I began crying and trying to speak through the cloth, but I was helpless to watch by. “Forgive me, Father, for what I am going to do.” He then pulled a knife from his pocket and plunged it into Mom’s neck with no mercy. I looked away once he did that, trembling, with tears pouring out and my vision glazed and I fell limp. I could see my brother tearing up, but he did not look away. I can hear Dad behind me, with his screams of agony and anger covered by the cloth. It felt like I was in slow motion, taking in every moment.
I then heard the chair, screeching as Steve dragged the chair containing Mom’s lifeless body towards the door, leaving behind a trail of blood. I couldn’t bear to see my mother like this. I shut my eyes very hard and hoped it would go away. The door then shut, leaving us alone with a candle, fearing what would come next. I stared at the candle, seeing it dance in the flames like a woman dancing in the darkness. Is this how it’ll end, I thought. End up dying to this sick man? My Mom was killed in front of me. I sobbed with that thought, then I began to think about the inevitable death of me. I hope there’s something after I die. Maybe I’ll see Mom again.
It was silent for a while, nearly no sound other than our moans. Dad seems to be fidgeting at the back of his chair, rocking it slowly. Looking past him, I shuddered at the glistening pool of blood, where Mom was last alive, could be my fate. I then see Dad release his arms from the back of the chair and remove the cloth from his mouth. He silently stood up and bent down to untie his legs from the chair legs. He then went to me and removed my cloth.
“H-h-how did you do that”, I silently wept, fearing that Steve would show up at the door and kill us all.
“My binding is loose. The old man probably took a liking to me”, Dad whispered. “I should remove your binds.” He untied them, releasing me, doing the same for Matt. “Now, we need to be quiet.” We then walked, quietly, along the painfully creaking wood in the near dark, following the blood trail, glistening in the candlelight. We cringed and dreaded each sound we made and watched the door in case it began to creak open. A few silent steps later, we made it to the door and we slowly opened it so as not to make any noise. What was revealed to us is nothing new, other than the blood trail continuing in the snow directing towards the back of the barn. “Okay, Kate, Matt, you guys run to the truck.”
“What about you”, I sobbed.
“Don’t worry about me”, Dad responded, giving me his keys and forcing them into my hand. “If I’m not back in a few minutes, leave. Don’t look back, take care of your brother, okay? I love you, no matter what happens.” He then kissed me on the head and ran to follow the blood trail. We quickly walked towards the black truck, stranded there for maybe hours. Getting closer, freedom is getting closer. When we got to a fair distance to the truck, I heard footsteps behind me and, the next thing I knew, I was knocked over to the ground into the hard snow on my face. A hand turned me over to give me a glimpse of a crazed Steve, his eyes wilder than before.
“Oh, yes, trying to escape”, he bragged. I looked at him, frozen in fear, like a deer in headlights and he caressed my face with his bloodied blade. “You do have a pretty face, but I’m afraid you are just one of Satan's creations, made to pull me to lust.” He then raised his knife in the air when a familiar side emerged, out of the blue.
Joe came and bit him in the arm that was holding the knife. Steve screamed in agony the moment he realised what happened. He shook Joe off and stood up to stand his ground. I stood up as Joe hissed and walked around the crazed being he wounded, not in fear but in aggressiveness. “Is this one of your pets, demon”, Steve screamed as Joe came in for another attack, but Steve countered that with a slash to the snout. Joe then ran away, whining, into the darkness. This sequence of events gave me the chance to enter the truck on the driver’s side. I had some trouble starting it, besides this is my first time driving a truck.
Steve menacelily walked towards the when Dad came barreling and tackled him to the ground. Dad was on top when he went limp. I finally put the keys in the engine turned it on and backed out, with memory serving me the instructions on such a vehicle. Steve pushed Dad’s body and stood up, but by that time, we left the farm.
“Turn back, we have to get Dad”, Matt cried, but I was very emotional, accepting what happened. I felt that, without my parents, I feel… useless.
“Dad’s dead”, I screamed at Matt and he began gagging uncontrollably in tears. I began to feel sorry for him. “Sorry, I, I don’t know.”
“It’s okay”, Matt sniffled. “I guess Mom and Dad are dead anyways.” It was silence for a few more minutes, tears welling in our eyes.
“Hey, our parents are in a better place”, I said, trying to make the situation positive.
“But we are stuck here, without them? Don’t we deserve to go to a better place?”
“Don’t say that”, I huffed and I paused for a bit. “I know we are in the, uh, right place now. Let me tell you something, once we get to Regina, I will take care of you, no matter what life throws at us.”
“What about Joe”, Matt asked.
“He’ll be fine. He probably found his girlfriend already.”
“Hey, don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“I, uh, I don’t have one. That I know of”, I spoke, bringing me back to Sam, remembering that she’s the only friend that I ever knew, and I left her. Without her, I felt alone, no one would ever relate. I began to tear up. “I don’t have any friends. I am alone,” I sobbed.
“What do you mean? I’m your brother!” I looked at Matt, and smiled, happy that he acknowledged that we were in this together.
“Thank you”, I thanked him. I slowly stopped on the road, just to hug Matt hard, crying my eyes out. We then heard what sounded like an elephant in front of us. We looked up to see a walking snow-covered brown fur wall with four pillar-like legs in front of us. Its curved tusks gleaned in the light and the eyes reflected in the light. The furry trunk waved around like a searching snake from a tree. We both knew what it was.
“Hey, look at that, a woolly mammoth”, Matt said, excitement running through him. At this point, we weren’t surprised.
“Yep, that is a woolly mammoth”, I added. The mammoth turned to us on the road, seemingly confused about where it was. It looked at our truck and seemed to growl, like an elephant. We are starting to realise this thing is becoming aggressive.
“Uh, should we move”, Matt asked. I remembered hearing something about standing your ground in case of an encounter with an elephant. I hoped it would work for a bigger, furrier version of one.
“No, we have to stand our ground.”
“But, it’ll attack u-”
“Trust me!” I then honked my horn and it backed up. It then rushed, then stopped, a mock charge. Eventually, it moved out of the road, disappearing into the darkness. We sighed in relief.
“That was close”, Matt sighed. I then continued to drive in the night, headlights leading the way. The road is bumpy, as noticed by every ditch and peak we hit, but surprisingly, Matt was fast asleep. I began to get comfortable driving and used to the road by that point. It was silent for a while until we hit a smaller intersection. That is when the truck shut down, completely and stopped. I tried the gas many times but with no effect. There is no light, nothing. It is near-darkness here, shone only by the moonlight.
“Shit”, I yelled, desperate to turn the truck on without much success. Matt woke up, confused.
“What happened”, he yawned.
“The truck turned itself off. I can’t get it back on”, I fretted and at that moment, Matt was just as panicked as I am.
“Why?”
“I-I don’t know. One moment, we were driving, another it just-”, I quavered, when I heard something rustle in the distance. We stood still, hoping whatever it was didn’t find us. I looked around, hoping to see something in the moonlight. I then see a long, walking animal. It looked like some sort of alligator at first, except for a dinosaur-like head. Once I strained my eyes to the darkness, my fear levels rose as I could see it walk on its hind limbs, with its forelimbs dangling nearly touching the ground.
It was wandering around on the road when I heard a near-crocodilian growl at Matt’s side of the truck. Another of those creatures appeared, seemingly looking into the window like a hungry bear, giving us a chance to see its scaly head. Its exposed alligator teeth gleaned in the light like knives, but more terrifying was the eye. Its serpentine pupil shone brilliantly in the light like eyes in the dark. It then ducked down, gave a hiss, and moved towards the other one. A few more showed up and formed a group.
“What should we do”, Matt asked. “Should we stay?” I looked around, hoping for another way to escape them without them noticing. I further strained my eyes and mentally mapped out the area. There is a cemetery on my right-hand side, a grain bin storage yard on my left and a series of trailers on the other side of the highway, which is ahead of us, from the storage area. There, I see a series of white, storage buildings, something we can go to and wait it out inside.
“Okay, so slowly open the door”, I instructed Matt. The click of the doors opening cringed us. We looked at the group, but there was no response from them. We then, as slowly as we could, opened the door and stepped out. Still no response. Matt then quietly ran to the other side, towards me. “Okay, we are going into the storage yard and go to the other entrance”, I said, pointing to the other right-hand corner. I wanted to get as far away from these things as possible before making a safe crossing. “Then, we cross the highway on the other side, run into the buildings and stay there for the night. Are you ready?”
“I guess”, he whispered, looking at me in fearful doubt.
“We are going to do this”, I whispered back. We then silently ran over, having to rely on our night-adapted eyes, to the corner, walking past the bins. We made it and nothing behind us so far. “We’re good so far.” We then crossed the road and noticed nothing. We noticed a tanker truck, leaking some sort of fluid across the road. I easily recognized it as fuel, based on its distinctive, sickly smell. I wouldn’t be worried about it if it weren’t for a collapsed light pole that is somehow still flickering with electricity near the area where the fuel would be flowing. We quickly avoided the fluid when I froze to see the group of the walking alligators, running towards us. “Run!” Matt tried to run, but one of those things appeared and clamped its jaws at the back of his neck. He yelped in pain and it took him down to the ground. “Matt”, I yelled, helplessly watching as the creature tore into him.
Matt reached out his arm before the others came to him, then a flash of fire came. At this point, I knew what happened, but I couldn’t even think before it exploded. It blew me towards the building, far away. I was knocked out for a few seconds before I regained consciousness, groaning in pain on the ice. I noticed something especially painful just below my chest. I reached towards the area with my hand. I pressed on it, more painful than ever and raised my hand, only to see blood, brightened by the fire. I realised I was wounded, maybe by shrapnel made by the explosion.
I looked toward where the truck was and all I saw was a blaze. Those things weren’t there, at least. I also noticed something else, too, there’s no Matt. I tried to look around for something, some sort of sign of my brother within the fire, but I saw none. I then wept, realising I had failed. I have failed to keep him safe. I have failed to give him a better life. I failed him as a sister. I could’ve done better. The thoughts poured in as tears glazed my eyes. At that moment, I failed to look around me.
I noticed a dark thing beside the blaze. I thought it was Matt, preparing to greet him back, even though I knew he couldn’t survive the explosion. The image became clearer and clearer as I noticed it was one of the walking crocs that, glazed by the fire, was coming towards me.
“Just kill me”, I screamed, preparing to painfully die to meet my maker. The creature was about to attack me when something large, silent as the wind, came charging and clamped down its massive jaws, filled with conical teeth on the hapless creature and raised it. The crocodile struggled before going limp with a crunch within its strong jaws. The big, dark and scaly monster that it is towered over me and is as long as a bus, possibly longer. Its large legs are a contradiction to its small arms that hide beneath its scarred, bulky body.
It turned to look at me with an oddly bird-like expression, revealing in the firelight numerous scars from battles I could never know and looked at me with its beady bird-like eyes, breathing out wisps from its nostrils like a dragon in the cool air. I recognized it as a creature I know too well, a T. Rex. I breathed heavily and sickly, looking at the thing, nearly expecting me to drop the body and go after me. Instead, it simply walked away, carrying its bloody prize with it, and steadily retreated into the darkness.
I then lay down in agonizing exhaustion on my back, thinking of the next step of action like I'm on a suicide mission I would never come back from. I looked in the direction of the graveyard and had one thought. I guess I am dying. a graveyard will do. I struggled to stand up, noticing my blood-soaked clothes and felt a broken left leg. I grasped my wound, limping step by step and enduring the sharp pain while shaking in the cold. Every step I took, I remembered all the memories, good or bad, that I had with my parents. My brother. My friends. My family. I eventually reached the cemetery and slouched at a tree.
“Guess I’m joining you, guys”, I said, speaking to the snow-covered gravestones, only to hear something. A familiar sound of chirping emerged and, lit by the blaze, it was a sight I can hope for. “Joe, what are you doing here”, I depressingly cheered as Joe went to me and curled up in my lap as if he were a cat. I noticed the new-found scar he had on his little snout, but I paid no mind as I petted him. “I guess you came back. Thank you so much for what you did”, I thanked him, not expecting such a loyal creature would be with me, comforting me, to the end, like what my mother used to do when I was a newborn. I heard another noise, this time a deep rumble.
I thought it was another earthquake coming, but it got louder the closer it got to me, becoming more animalistic only felt small vibrations I barely felt. Joe stayed put, oddly enough, as T. Rex, different from the first one, came. It walked towards us until it stopped short of us. It began to produce a low-pitched, bird-like purring, attracting Joe. I realised something, that this T. Rex is Joe’s parent. He joined the rest like him, whom they showed up and all chirped around.
The grown Rex then brought its snout closer to me, not to kill me, but to look at me. It did not reveal its teeth and was still purring. I put my hand out and its nose came close to it. It rubbed it against my hand and started to pet its cold, scaly skin as it breathed through its nose and put it on my chest. I rested my head on it before it pulled away. It gave out a hiss, but I knew it wasn’t that of a threat, but more of a thank you for bringing its small, sometimes immature, child home.
That gave me relief, as it felt like I at least did something for once. They walked away, along with Joe, towards the darkness amongst the gravestones in the cemetery. I glimpsed one last desperate look at Joe before walking beside his parent. I looked up at the sky and I could see all the stars, twinkling, and the dancing green auroras. I began to feel limp and felt the cold embrace of death coming over me, tears pouring out of my eyes. The sky then grew brighter and brighter, the stars faded into the light and I could see my family welcoming me to a new home. It then slowly went black, darker than a cave.
You would think this is the end of me. It wasn’t, or else I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I eventually woke up in a hospital in Regina. I was told I was rescued by a team that transported me while I was in a coma. The doctors said I was very lucky to be alive, as the shrapnel narrowly avoided my vital organs. After that, I was adopted into a new family, but I was only with them for a couple of years before finding a new job and moving out.
As for Sam, I don’t know what happened to her. I would like to think she is safe, somewhere else. As for my family, I think of them all the time. I was in a depressive period right after that. Eventually, over the years, I accepted that they were gone and went to a better place. For Joe, I would like to think he is all grown up, like his parents, and becoming the king of the jungle. I hope we meet again.
As for the evacuated area, it wasn’t some pipeline rupture that caused an evaluation, but an anomaly, with the exact reason not known. There are excuses for the claims of weird stuff going on in there, from disease to chemicals, to eventually a previously unknown geological event, but I saw through it all.
You may ask how, it's because I've been there. Take it or leave it, this is the story I have. As the decade came by, cover-ups were made to hide it, even walls were put around it. Since the incident, the exclusion zone grew from a mere 80 kilometers in diameter to 460 kilometers in diameter, emptying entire cities of the likes of Regina and Saskatoon. I had to move to North Battleford, by the recommendation from the same government covering it up, making me think that time will tell before the floodgates of truth open.
The anomaly didn’t have a name initially, however, over the years, everyone agreed on one name in particular: The Saskatchewan Anomaly.

Last July I posted this in the old PP sub. Thankfully I still had a copy. Looks like we were right: we were all going to make it.
This is getting real. It's time to rise up and be excellent to eachother. I hope this speaks to you.
//
I believe that this is the play to end all plays. And that eventually the game will stop and holding GME, BBBYQ, and probably others in the basket will turn into a black hole because you wonderful Apes will not let go once it runs. I believe there is no possible measure of "Days to Cover", because we're going to HODL and not let go. Afterall, when it runs, it will be because the fundamentals are shown to be abso-freaking-lutely real. Whatever our cost basis, we bought at the very bottom. So why ever sell and pay taxes?
That said, I am wary of becoming wealthy. I know that money does not buy happiness. I fully expect it to screw with my life and my relationships, and I fear that because they are my most precious asset. As noble as we all feel going into this, wealth will corrupt some of us. Maybe even me. We can't change human nature, only fight it. I am determined to fight hard. But for now, I am happy, and scared to mess with that. I don't have a lot, but I am content with what I have, and I am happy in my relationships. I don't expect wealth to improve this, in fact, I expect it to more likely harm it. Or at least change it, because any major changes in circumstances always require some serious adjustment.
But I am still human. I am a minimalist, but I still want nice things. What attracts me most though is the freedom. I have many working years ahead, and I have a mind for hair-brained ideas that could turn into businesses (a number that I have tried and always failed, it drives my partner nuts), and I know that idle hands are likely to turn me selfish and corrupt. But I crave time with the ones I love; with my young daughter and my love. And to spend time helping people that need help. I spent years doing volunteer work before my daughter was born and I was forced to earn a more responsible income. Giving makes you happy.
I am keenly aware that when this play runs, it will not be the cause of suffering, but great suffering will most certainly happen in parallel. Greed, corruption and unchecked power have resulted in a house of cards that will come crashing down when our play pulls the floor out from them. Margin call after margin call will bring untold collapse, and the super rich won't be the ones hurt most — it will be everyone else that loses their livelihood when the institutions they rely on fall. The super rich are using us peons as a shield. So as much as I crave justice, the fallout terrifies me. I know many lives will be lost, and many more will suffer. This is why I won't "f*cking dance".
I hope this doesn't sound sanctimonious. I am no one and want to remain that way. I just want to be on the side of good because my conscience demands it. Honestly this play puts me too close to the center of the drama for my tastes. I would rather not be so closely connected to something that is so likely to rock the world. It makes me nervous. I know some will blame us, even though we are the heroes not the villains. We are the super heroes that will take down the villain. But the collateral damage from the great superhero battle is not nothing to scoff at for the average citizen. Many will be angry at the hero for their role.
And this brings me to why I buy. It isn't for the wealth: I fear that. It isn't to become happy: I know that happiness is not dependant on circumstances, and already am happy. It isn't for the freedom from work: work is good for me. It isn't for the justice: it is important, but I don't believe holding a few villains accountable will rid the world of villainy.
It is for the freedom to strengthen my relationships. And it is for the ability to give to those that need help. Because they will sure need need it, and someone needs to be left standing to help when this all falls apart.
When this all goes down, I promise to try my best to be kind and work hard to help others. I know you will do the same. The world will need you more as a hero then, than they will now.
Be excellent to each other. Party on dudes!

I think I can decide as an adult female when I myself want to do something.
If I do not want to got to bed with you, because I am an insomniac, and because you are a chronic porn abuser, who while in recovery can be lying (as you’ve done to our therapist, and me many times in the past year), maybe I just do not care.
Have I STILL made you work lunch/snack bags, ran your bath water, left you sweet loving notes on the expo board?? Yes I have!! BUT if I’m not in bed when you want, up with our children who cannot sleep, or choose to sleep on the couch because of your actions (even if it’s just anger that I was not in your ‘martial’ bed with you), NONE of that matters. You have been ugly and almost physically abusive when I chose to sleep on the couch because of your actions against me.
I’ve told him over and over again this is HIS thing he holds over my head to make me some awful person, when he’s done all the lying, gaslighting, and manipulation you can think of. I’ve STILL stayed just for the kids and thinking this is not who he is, but my previous posts and comments will have you all tearing me down to leave, and I get it.
I do EVERYTHING for this man. I was even up tonight talking to a recruiter I was hoping was not an at home work scammer on Microsoft Teams, because his paycheck is eaten alive by how much he has to pay to his insurance to cover my MS, Clots in my right chest and kidney, etc. I’m the one causing the issue with all my stubborn bodily issues I cannot help, that almost killed me and still could. I’m disabled to a point, but lucky to be standing and not as bad as most MS patients at my younger-ish age.
I do it ALL for him and my kids. He doesn’t deserve it and they do. If I stay up a good chunk of the night making sure they are OK, I should have that right. He says, ‘I did not feel you going to bed when I usually do’. What??? If that’s the case then you are choosing to ignore me when you know I get in the bed. You cannot have it both ways, ‘Oh, I was sleeping too hard to know you were there to love on you.’
It’s all manipulation. I’m tired of doing all these nice wonderful things to just be hurt, told to shut up, and the ONLY thing that matters to him, even if I spend 20min rubbing his head until he falls asleep, is that I do not share the martial sleepy bed where we do not touch together anyway is the issue… WTf?! To me this is deflection. I’m done with this crap.
If this is the ONLY thing that upsets you, that you make a big deal about when I do literally everything else, you are an AH.

Spoilers ahead!
Hello community, first I know that I could Google this but I wanted to get this answer in the least spoilery way possible so here it goes.
I am in my third character, by doing a lot of practice mode I have been able to advance until what I think would be the floor 3 or 4 (got lost and without map is hard to say)
I found a portal and when I crossed it I tried to go east (I died) and northeast (I died).
I found a place with a lot of skeletons and a minotaur or some kind of huge monster that would fight whatever was in front of them, stupidly I fought it and died... Without spoiling too much, was this a skill issue and this monster is beatable or is there a "clever" solution to kill it (huge hole, giant rock that can crush it, flame trap to burn it, etc)
The other time I died was because I went to this place filled with tall armored guys, they would not attack but some of them would aggro if I touched some specific doors, I was low health with a sword so I stood no chance, same question, are these guys beatable or is there a clever solution?
To get you an idea of how prepared I was, I had like 3-4 melee skills and somewhat decent armor, like the guy I am attaching to this post.
Also quick question regarding progress, I gather that there is a checkpoint right at the portal, so technically this character has infinite tries, however I see a bar with global exp, does my character already transmits this Exp to future characters or do I have to kill off this character in some way?
Thank you in advance!

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for a song I've heard on German radio in the 90s several times, but I've never been able to identify it. Here's what I remember:
It was a somewhat quiet, slow, atmospheric song with as far as I remember not much more than a synthesizer pad playing a couple of chords on repeat - if there were any drums, they were very quiet in the background. Quite like very slow Drum 'n' Bass without the drum part, somewhat similar to Faithless. The overall mood was pretty melancholic and depressed. It featured a male, very deep, dark, aspirated voice that wasn't really singing as such, but rather rhythmically speaking, like reciting a poem, almost but not quite whispering - not at all like Rap / Hip Hop though.
I remember only bits of the lyrics, the main one being something like "How can we speak, (when?) communication is lost" or a variation of this, maybe "How can we talk" or "It's hard to speak". The only thing I'm pretty sure about is that the word "communication" was spoken/sung and the phrase started with "How can we ..." and then either speak or talk. I don't remember any other specific lyrics, but I'm quite sure the song was about some kind of relationship falling apart.
To be able to understand the lyrics at all I must have had at least some basic English skills, which would put this not earlier than around 1993, and I don't think the song is much older than that. I'd say the timeframe is roughly 1992 to 97.
I remember listening to it several times on our local radio station, so it must have been at least somewhat popular.
I slapped something together and uploaded it on Vocaroo: https://voca.ro/1k7PF7Tlcrjc
It's mainly about the rhythm pattern of the voice, so my hoarse mumbling is supposed to represent real lyrics that I don't remember at all. I think the voice in the song is much deeper than I can go with my voice, and much more "present" and "booming". The two synth chords I used are completely random and probably not at all like the original, but the overall sound characteristic of the synth should be at least close.
What I can rule out so far:
"Keep Talking" by Pink Floyd (it's close though, especially if you made it slower and replaced the guitar with a synth pad to make it sound less like Rock and more like electronic music)
"Sanctuary" by Madonna
"Funeral Party" by The Cure
"Telephone Call" by Kraftwerk

BRAVO

• Scheana Shay's Sister Cortney Is Her Twin in Stunning New (and Old!) Photos (Bravo)
• Lala Kent Reveals the Real Reason She Moved to the Valley: "Let Me Be Very Clear..." (Bravo)
• VPR’s Tom Sandoval Shuts Down Split Rumors by Posting NSFW Photo With Girlfriend Victoria Lee Robinson (US Weekly)
• Jax Taylor Says ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Stars Coming Over to ‘The Valley’ Is a ‘Hard No’: ‘It Isn’t Fair’ (US Weekly)
• Jax Taylor Gives His Honest Take on the Toms’ New Girlfriends: “She Could Be My Daughter” (Bravo)
• Kristen Doute clarifies her ‘The Valley’ reunion remarks: ‘We haven’t been told’ anything (NY Post exclusive)
• Kristen Doute Compares Jesse Lally to 'Vanderpump Rules' Jax Taylor (Collider)
• Lisa Vanderpump Says Gordon Ramsay Has ‘Met His Match’ in Her! (Extra exclusive)
• Summer House’s Jesse Solomon Says He ‘Doesn’t Regret’ Flirting With Paige DeSorbo (Life & Style exclusive)
• 'Summer House' Season Finale Watch Party Hosted By The Boro In Tysons (Patch)
• How Summer House: Martha's Vineyard's Jasmine Cooper Found Support as a New Mom (E! exclusive)
• Vanderpump Rules snubbed from NBC Upfronts as Seth Meyers slams Tom Sandoval in harsh diss after cancellation rumors (The Sun U.S. exclusive)

NEW JERSEY

• Margaret Josephs Dishes on Teresa Giudice Fallout: "She's Obsessed with Me" (Bravo)
• Margaret Josephs Calls RHONJ Star Jackie Goldschneider ‘a Disappointment’ (Heavy)
• Joe Gorga Claims RHONJ Cast is Getting “Punished” Amid Leak Allegations Involving Teresa and Jen, as Melissa Shades Teresa and Jennifer’s Behavior as “Gross” (Reality Blurb)

ORANGE COUNTY

• ‘Real Housewives of Orange County’ Resumes Filming After Jennifer Pedranti’s Fiance Enters MLB Drama (US Weekly exclusive)

NEW YORK

• ‘RHONY’ star Erin Lichy is ‘obsessed’ with this under-$12 beauty buy (Page Six)

BEVERLY HILLS

• Crystal Kung Minkoff Is ‘Really Excited’ for Her Next Chapter After ‘RHOBH’ Exit (US Weekly exclusive)
• Jamie Lee Curtis “Excited” For Friend Amanda De Cadenet Joining ‘RHOBH’ Season 14 Cast & Teases “Maybe I’ll Be Back” (Deadline)
• Teddi Mellencamp covers up in a long sleeve shirt and pink pants as she supports her sons in equestrian competitions in Los Angeles (Daily Mail)
• Annemarie Wiley Discusses Best Part of RHOBH, What She Would’ve Shown on Season 14, and Favorite Franchise, Plus What’s Next and Why She Became a Nurse (Reality Blurb)

ATLANTA

• Go Inside Riley Burruss' Next-Level College Graduation Party (Pics) (Bravo)

AFRICAN FRANCHISES

• LaConco on The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip – South Africa (Showmax)

Links to this week's episode discussion posts:

• RHONJ S14E2 🍝
• Summer House S8E12 ☀️

hello everyone. these last few days I've been going through a lot and i thought it might be a good idea to ask for help in here.
this year i'm sharing a house with a roommate who turned out to be an immature, spoiled, childish bitch. i've been always respectful to her and i assume i have tried to be as considerate as it's humanly possible.i'm very calm and when at home, i'm usually busy studying or watching movie with a headphone or doing other silent activities. i even don't like talking over the phone that much and at times that i'm obliged to use it, i lower my tone as much as i can. also, as i brought almost 90% of the furniture and the apartment was basically furnished when she arrived, and i agreed her to take the best room.i never even mentioned all the favors I did and I really regret what i did, because none of these roomie-pleasing acts paid off.if anything, she became more controlling and rude.she had talked to me in an offensive manner two times before this but i hadn't said anything in response and had suppressed my anger in order to avoid conflict( classic trauma response, right?).ten days ago i invited my sister over( and i hadnt invited anyone before this) and she traveled hundreds of miles to come and see me. i had done it with her permission and she said it's alright for my sister to come and stay. so she came and stayed a couple of days and we were mostly hanging out outside and we just came back at night to sleep in my own room.she was acting alright in the first 2 days, then she started to act in a passive-aggressive manner –she slammed the door as soon as she heard us preparing the table or quietly laughing, she avoided us each time we were in the living room and would sneakily jump out of her room to use the bathroom or toilet as soon as we moved into my room. she had done this before during the last semester's finals, too. but this time it had got way more obvious and way more aggressive. after my sister left, she quitted even looking at me or saying hi to me when she saw me.( she had done this before too, but i had convinced myself not to take it to the heart specially as she got friendly with me again after the finals were over! she's such an unstable player.) last day she wrote me a scroll on telegram and as hard as she tried to seem cultured and civilized, she just oozed out even more controlling shit.it was the juice of her message: ''don't use the living room for studying. only use it for going to the kitchen or to the toilet, because i feel uncomfortable doing cooking and shit when someone's in there reading.'' i answered that i'm well-aware that living room might be distracting at times, but i'm not bothered by the sound of her doing her stuff and she doesnt need to worry about it and she can also freely use it. but then she started to argue with me saying ''living room is not for studying'' and weeping over her victim complex ''noooo, i'm not comfortable,you MUST go to your room just like i've tolerated you reading now you must act to my desire''. this time finally i became furious and assertively talked to her that it's her problem that she doesn't want to see me AT ALL and for this irrational demand, i would not have any more compliance. i'm silent as a rabbit, not making a fucking noise and really dont occupy much area in a 80 m² living room!! if she wants to use it as well, she's welcomed, but she can't command me to stay prisoned inside my small gloomy room without no proper light. interesting part is that she even doesnt prefer to study in the living room and all she's mad about is she cant use it for toilet and kitchen without coming to see me staying in there. although my whole body was trembling with rage ( and simultaneously with fear of a conflict or a loud argument) i managed to be assertive and talk my words.then she left me unread, although i'm quite sure she's read it.
now although i've come out ratherstrongly, whenever i use the living room, every moment of being there feels like torture.the silence in the living room feels like a ticking bomb that might explode in any minute. i'm anxious af and i have endless ruminations about how she might just walk out of the door and snap at me.she still continues slamming the door and walking thumpering her feet on the ground.also, i know it's very unlikely, but my mind constantly jumps to the possibility of being attacked or she getting physical with me. i'm very sensitive to loud noises and arguments. i try to avoid them as much as i can. i get this semi-panic attack feeling whenever even two strangers argue with eachother. i know me keeping using the living room to my desire will serve her right and will bring me back some power over the household affairs, but i can barely even concentrate this way; while i rigidly sit there, my muscles tense as rock and i hear my hear ponding.
so, i appreciate your advice: do you think i'd better fight or flight? regarding that my finals are arriving in 10 days or so...
P.S: special thanks to you ma' for the perfect upbringing and all that dreadful childhood days you would shout at me – your voice's still ringing in my ears and although you encourage me to stand for my rights, i always fail because i've always been on the lower end of the power imbalance seasaw. i never dared disagreeing with you, now how you expect me to be magically a brave person who can disagree when she's not pleased?

tl;dr - after doing great over the last couple years, I am relapsing hard.
My journey with engaging in ED was not on purpose but it happened suddenly & extremely at 21.
After 2 years, I had lost half my body weight & could barely walk up a flight of stairs. I went to IP treatment out of state only after a great therapist (I’ve had 2 out of >20 my whole life,) insisted, & then bloodwork had shown I was in the early stages of organ failure.
IP treatment was good (anyone who wants more info, I’m happy to share why it was,) & I came back to “real life” & struggled for years. I’d have a great several months then relapse hard.
This went on til about 3 years ago. Basically, I hit rock bottom (which is saying a lot,) & I wanted to be a good mother, wife, & had faith.
Recovery was not something I was new to, but I took it seriously. From tears after snacks, to not being able to eat without someone with me, to dealing with a healthy relationship with exercise, to recovery binges, to not looking at labels. I mean, I was really doing it.
6 months ago I would have said I was 95% recovered. I WFH so if I wanted a snack, I’d go get one. Heck, I could even eat alone without watching or listening something. I’d do cardio ~35 mins daily, only 5-6 a week, but out of love of moving my body. Not a punishment. No biggie if I missed. A major win.
But I’ve relapsed hard & suddenly, it seems.
It was small at first. I noticed if I didn’t have one of two “safe foods” during the day, I wouldn’t eat. I’d wait til dinner, my “safe meal” (I have no problem eating most things for dinner, but even that’s becoming more restrictive in my brain.) So, not sure why suddenly I was limiting myself, but slowly I was. & my “rules” in my brain were coming out of nowhere, seemingly for no reason. But school (returning student,) housekeeping, work (high stress, lots of hours, but love it,) & basically most responsibilities have fallen on me. This is my only guess why I’m struggling?
Then, I had a small tear to my Achilles tendon & my “feet” (to sum it up) are all messed up lol. While that’s being seen after, I’m basically not able to do most things, especially exercise. I can hobble around in my walking boot, but mostly ice & elevating & pain.
So suddenly, I can’t exercise. I’m truly depressed for the first time in years for an extended period. the weight loss has been rapid with my ED coming back so damn suddenly. & I know how bad it is. I know what it does to personality, to my emotions, to how I treat people, to the brain. Let alone all the physical stuff.
I wasn’t seeking it.
It’s just back.
I can’t tell my partner. He was my biggest advocate, but he was hurt the worst due to my mental issues & poor coping abilities (substance abuse coupled with a starved brain & an addiction to purging.)
I don’t struggle with purging really, but I feel unable to be open with my partner as I was for the last 8 years of recovery (I was very secretive & protective of my ED the first time around. Now I’m secretive because of the stigma I gave my own self.)
Idk what to do. I’m going back to therapy as a Hail Mary, but the questioning/accusation coming from my partner are making me angry & also feel like I have to shut down.
Numbers trigger me, so I’ll spare mine. But I was at a healthy weight & where my IP ED treatment dietician said I need to be according to my growth chart & happy enough with my body. I could talk about “ugh these don’t fit so annoying” or my partner couldn’t gently say “you might want to try something else?” & it not trigger me or make me spiral. Now, I look at my legs while I’m sitting & it disgusts me. My weight loss is quite noticeable.
I’m getting to what would be “normal” for my height, but toeing the line for what’s unhealthy & not enough for my brain.
Sorry for the long post. Don’t know what I’m looking for. It’s great to talk to a therapist but idk. I thought I was a success story who could & would help & support others.
Now I’m a secretive, irritable, impatient person who is having to lie about hunger, what I ate, etc. & I was proud of no longer being a liar.
Thanks for reading :(

Reinventing yourself
So if you know me or follow me you know my story. I am far from shy about telling it as I hope it helps others. I was a drug addict and back in the day, I used to drink and get high with a good friend from high school.
We lost touch after high school, fast forward 35 years, and we both have had lots of hard times. We reconnected through Facebook.We started talking about our missing years. She told me she also fell deep into drug addiction but way farther than I did. She fell so far as to do unspeakable things for drugs, and she will be quick to tell you her story. After quite a few times of trying to get clean and relapsing. After losing her parents, getting cancer and taking care of her significant other through her cancer, and then having to bury her. After her struggles with food that replaced her drug addiction, she has come to a place of peace.
She is an amazing artist, and this weekend, she finally had her first gallery opening showcasing her art. Something she had let go of through her addiction. This is a full circle moment for her, and I couldn't be prouder.
I know from hours of speaking to her how much it took her to get here. To overcome her addiction to drugs and then to food. To work on her inner self to let go and learn to forgive herself and then others. To learn boundaries that keep her on this path. To come to a place that is hers with no apology for who she is or what she's done because she already made amends with everyone and everything.
This is a victory for her, but it is also for others to see that change is possible. You can hit rock bottom, and you can lose everything, but you can also pull yourself back up. You can fight your demons, and you can win. You can overcome any obstacle if you truly want it bad enough and are willing to put the hard work in it to achieve it .
So today, my friends, this is not just about the reinvention of my friend Hassina. This is about the possibility of reinvention for anyone out there listening. You can do it. If we did it, you could too. All you have to do is want to be the change you want to see. Please check out her art sinas_fine_art

I posted yesterday about my PMDD making it hard for me to work, well I just woke up and it’s definitely there again. I couldn’t sleep well at all last night and when I did wake up I was instantly anxious and my partner had to cuddle me in order for me to go back to sleep. This happened 3 times last night. The thing about my PMDD is that the week after my period ends it starts up and lasts until my period starts. I left early from work yesterday because my PMDD was so bad and now I’m sitting on the toilet feeling like there’s a rock in my chest that is like a pit of despair, wondering if I should just call off work. I call off work almost every two weeks (sometimes weekly) because my PMDD is so bad I can barely function and just sleep. My mood swings mixed with my other mental illnesses make it nearly impossible to function normally in a work setting without causing me mental distress. The last time I tried to push through I ended vomiting at work and in previous jobs I would have “silent panic attacks” where I would get stressed and just pass out basically. My partner (bless them) said to me when I asked if I was a bad worker, “you’re a wonderful worker, you’re just disabled.” And that keeps ringing in my mind. I applied for some remote jobs so I can have my own schedule, so I’m hoping I get the job so I can make money and manage my PMDD.
Also, I talked to a manager yesterday about what I am going through and unfortunately I cannot take any medical leave, FMLA, or disability because I haven’t been there for 12 months. I can’t wait for my gynecologist appointment on the 29th to get documentation of my PMDD and if I don’t get this remote job maybe I can file for disability? Idk…

I'm very new to this area and am planning on doing mount Olympus in August. I've seen people wearing gloves in some videos of the climb and say they helped for the final rock scramble part, even in summer months, but from my research on gloves people often saying its for warmth or rope work. I don't think I'll need much of either there as its a fairly beginners level hike and doesn't get very cold. so I am wondering
A. do I even need them? and B. what exactly should I be looking for?
I'm assuming fingerless and grippy is a must so does anyone have any recommendations or advice on the subject. I don't plan on doing any winter climbs soon and would not be attempting any considerably hard climbing with constant ropes any time in the near future.
Thanks in advance :)