Failed background check for deloitte jobs

Background: Throughout this spring semester, I was so anxious about passing my classes, because during the fall, I failed two classes and my parents were so mad at me because throughout the semester, I’d have phone calls with them and tell them I was doing fine when I was struggling to juggle everything. I didn’t want to let them down again. I didn’t want to mess up that badly again. So for that spring semester I made changes. I quit soccer, I stopped meeting up with friends as much, etc. I’d spend most of my free time by myself at the library or in the dorm’s study room studying. Honestly, the more time I spent by myself, the more I hated myself and being alone. So I tried eating at hanging out by myself at the student union. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out like I thought it would so from then on, I’d just go there to pick up food, then leave. Back to my original point, I’d be so stressed and anxious about not failing, I would just honestly break down. And these breakdowns started happening more and more. They would happening while I was studying or if I tried to start studying but couldn’t for some reason. Like the times I’m talking about, I wouldn’t even be on my phone or anything, I just tried to start studying but I couldn’t. My body wouldn’t listen to my brain for some reason. I would just be staring at a wall or my computer, waiting on the rest of my body to move and start my work. Or if I’m somewhere public, I try to rush back to my dorm just to breakdown in my bed when my roommate wasn’t there. Unfortunately, this one time, while studying with my friend for finals, I ended up having a breakdown. This was the first time this had happened in front of someone but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore and it was embarrassing since this happened at the library (in public). Me and my friend took this walk and we talked about being stressed, about letting down my family, worrying about my GPA, if I still wanted to do this major. There were some things I didn’t discuss, which I won’t mention here. After the walk, I did feel much better. And good news: I passed my classes and summer is here now. But recently, while I was trying to study for a math class for the fall, I just started crying again and I don’t know why. Is there something wrong with me? I passed all my classes so I don’t understand why this is still happening.

So its kinda awkward to write this now, but I’ve only today finished the 17th volume. Lets call this the Great Pause. So the Great Pause started when there was a heatwave of 2 days in a row and my AC just decided to stop producing cold air (Still broken and Im currently using my fan). Now, when I find myself liking something I’ll keep doing it, naturally. But when the heat was unbearable and my AC broke down it just made me stop reading. Per usual I did read manhwas (Manhwa’s a personal preference since I dont do good with black-and-white panels (And also sometimes the panels are too small for me to read (But that doesn’t mean I dont read mangas I just dont read them just as often (I do occasionally read To Your Eternity because the anime’s too good)))). Then gradually the Manhwa-reading disturbed and set me off of my schedule of Novel-reading. I hope I cleared things up, I’ll try to point out my curiosities and conclusions and rate the Volume. So I’ll start with the last chapter (The extra chapter). I dont remember his name but it was clearly the gamble-addict, paul’s friend. Im almost completely sure he was talking to the MG, but talking to him while conscious? But he did mention he didn’t see the Bartender. Maybe illusion magic? Now that I think about it, maybe its a way to avoid making someone your apostle so he can theoretically use illusion magic and have infinite apostles? I dont know, but Im eager to find out who he was talking to. He mentioned ‘Thanks for the heads up at the labyrinth’— Now Im too lazy to check, but I do know they had breaks in the labyrinth, so maybe thats when the MG appeared in his dream? 1: That proves my illusion magic theory wrong 2: I was about to say he already had Auber, Reida and Darius but WAIT!! I just now remember! If it was the MG giving him ‘heads up’ at the labyrinth, then he is his apostle!! (Lets not include the illusion theory) So that means one of Darius, Reida or Auber weren’t his apostles! (Without illusion theory, again.) 2.5: I dont remember but I do remember Darius and I think Reida mentioning they came in contact with the MG, I dont remember if Auber said it though. 3: It was illusion magic 4: Its not the MG 5: Orsted’s knowledge is wrong and he can have morre than 3 apostles. 6: If I remember correctly, I think either they fulfill the MG’s wish then he can decide if they’re still his apostles, or Im wrong. So lets say MG requested something from him at the labyrinth and he successfully fulfilled it, he then requited the new three. Any other thing I can think of is either that, Illusion theory, its not the MG, or he can have more than 3 apostles. What strengthens my belief in my theory of he gave him a mission and he succeeded and then moved on to a new three, is that when they all died he went back to him. What weakens that theory though is that he was conscious, but still didn’t even notice anyone: So illusion magic. Illusion magic theory because I mentioned he was conscious, and also before he didn’t see anyone. (Actually its not mentioned he didn’t see ANYONE, but its mentioned he didn’t see the bartender. I also think the bartender was holding something, so seeing a floating object would be strange, but nothing of the sort was pointed out. So probably just illusion the warps what he sees. Only he can see the MG and he cant see anyone. Maybe to not tell anyone of his existence? Maybe him being drunk wasn’t just a coincidence, maybe a circumstance or a reason he had to be drunk to see the MG. Also I suspect its the MG cause he continuously said ‘But I liked that boy’ and stuff of the sorts. ‘I do owe him though’ I think was in there. Safe to say it is the guy from the labyrinth. I dont think anyone would hold a grudge and want to kill Rudeus but the MG. Now to the rest of what I remember from the Volume. I did get spoiled on tiktok (I ignored the tiniest caption saying ‘Spoiler!’) And then I found out about Orsted’s return every 200 years. Also please remind me, he returns 200 years if his plans against the MG fails right? (And I think he also returns by death (Re:Zero reference hehe)) Speaking of Re:Zero I’ll read it after I finish MT and after the new season. I’ll also start to dabble a little (If dabble is the word to use) in some LOTM. I could read from scratch (Because a lot recommended it) but its too time-consuming (Though I can still change my mind since the chapters are really short) Then I’ll read MOL (Or like LOTM I’ll dabble in it a bit). Anyways good night (Its night for me) Or whatever time of the day it is for you. Im still on the same path to finish MT, but I cant tell if more Great Pauses will occur.

I have payments, but they were not direct deposits as far as I know. I was paid through PayPal.
They said I could send redacted direct deposits as proof. How would they know if it’s actually a direct deposit? I’ve had direct deposits say “DIRECT DEPOSIT,” do all of them say that?

Living in a small southern town, you get used to the way things are. I grew up as a military brat, so my childhood memories are a blur of packing, unpacking, and getting settled. It had been seven years since we arrived, and nothing but the grace of God would make me move again. A few years ago, my father got orders to station at a base in the middle of the Mohave. I was only seventeen then, but after a few dozen screaming matches, I decided to strike out on my own a little early. I got a part-time job at the cafe, which was enough to rent a little run-down shack a couple of blocks from downtown. As far as I was concerned, I was living the dream—serving coffee a few hours a week and spending the rest of my time hanging out with friends, listening to music, and drinking.
That particular morning started the same as any other. I woke up around noon with a text from Mark to meet me at the cafe. Took me about two hours to get up and head over. The sun had just begun its descent as I pushed the door to the cafe open, the bell above tinkling softly. The sound bothered me a little bit, but I couldn’t tell why. It seemed to ring a little louder than I was expecting, and gave me this strange drilling sensation inside my head.
I ignored the feeling as the smell of slightly stale coffee and pastries washed over me. I saw Mark and Jamie already sat at our usual spot. Mark looked up as I approached, a grin spreading across his face. "Hey, Alex. Sarah should be here soon."
“So what's on the docket today?” I asked as I sat down, stealing a bear claw off Jamie's plate and taking a large bite before he had the chance to protest.
Mark’s excitement was almost palpable. He was always the one with the big ideas and crazy schemes, which I honestly appreciated. They got us into trouble more often than not, but it beat day drinking in the Walmart parking lot like everyone else our age.
"Alright, check this out," Mark said, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "I was talking to my cousin who works for the county. He told me about this old, abandoned food processing factory just outside of town. They used to can peaches there."
I gave him a skeptical look. "That’s your idea? Old, canned peaches?"
"No, idiot," he scoffed. "They left behind a ton of nitrates and phosphates. I’ve been doing some reading, and we can use them to make fireworks. I was up all night figuring it out and putting these together." He subtly opened his backpack to reveal at least a dozen PVC pipes fitted on both ends.
"Now that's what I’m talking about," I said, grinning.
Sarah walked in, catching the tail end of our conversation. "Sorry I’m late, I had a breakout and had to stop by the pharmacy. Upped my allergy meds. I fucking hate pollen," she said as I scooted over to make room for her on the bench.
"Is there anything you aren't allergic to?" I laughed.
She rolled her eyes, ignoring my question. "So, what's the plan for today?"
Mark, Jamie and I exchanged cheeky glances. "Well," I started, "let’s just hope you’re not allergic to peaches."
We finally managed to pry the side door of the factory off, which broke free from the hinges and smashed against the floor. Stepping inside, the air was thick and rancid as we bounced the beams of our flashlights around the packaging floor.
"We should split up," Mark suggested. "Alex, you and Sarah check out the storage rooms for the chemicals. Jamie and I will find the control room and see if we can get the power back on."
All of us nodded as we went our separate ways. Sarah and I wandered down the dark hallways, kicking open doors and looking for anything that looked vaguely like chemicals. The corridors were dark and damp, with black mold snaking along the walls like veins.
The first few rooms we checked were empty, filled only with dust and the remnants of long-abandoned equipment. Each door creaked as we pushed it open, revealing more decay and desolation.
As we moved further down the hallway, the mold seemed to become more aggressive, spreading in thick, dark patches along the walls and floors. The air grew heavier, making it harder to breathe. We kicked open another door, our flashlights revealing more of the same—nothing useful.
"This place is a bust," Sarah muttered,
"Let's keep looking," I replied, though I was starting to feel the same way. "There has to be something."
We continued down the corridor, our footsteps echoing in the silence. As we approached the end of the hall, something caught my eye. One door stood out, covered in black, creeping mold that seemed to pulse and writhe. Tendrils of fungus snaked out from the edges, reaching out into the hallway.
"Sarah, look at this," I said.
She turned to see what I was pointing at and her eyes widened. "That’s... different."
We approached the door cautiously as the tendrils moved and swayed.
With a deep breath, we each grabbed one side of the door and pulled. It resisted for a moment before giving way, the mold snapping and tearing as we forced it open. The smell that hit us was overpowering, a mix of rot and decay that made my eyes water.
Inside, our flashlights revealed a horrifying sight. At the back of the room sat several pallets with dozens of boxes of peaches each. But it was what grew from these boxes that will haunt my nightmares till my dying day.
The entire back wall was consumed by a towering fungal mass. Thick, fleshy stalks jutted out from the base, climbing nearly to the ceiling. The surface of the fungus glistened with a slimy, wet sheen, appearing almost like rotting flesh under our flashlight beams. Each stalk was covered in a mottled, sickly green and yellow hue, with patches of black mold that seemed to pulse in the dim light.
Interwoven within this horrific sight were bulbous growths, each one throbbing rhythmically, as if with a heartbeat of its own. They resembled obscene, overgrown tumors, ready to burst at the slightest touch. Long, sinewy tendrils extended from the main mass, creeping over the boxes and along the floor like the fingers of some malevolent creature, seeking out any life to ensnare.
The tendrils near the door twitched, slowly inching their way toward us as if aware of our presence. The air was thick with spores, glimmering in the light like tiny stars, each one a potential harbinger of decay and death.
"Oh my god," Sarah whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of our own breathing. "What is that thing?"
We stood there, frozen in shock and disgust, before I slammed the door shut.
"Let's get the hell out of here," I said.
We hurried back down the corridor, our footsteps echoing in the oppressive silence. The lights in the facility flickered on, casting a blinding white light. I heard a bubbling, groaning noise emanate from behind the fungal door, sending a wave of nausea through my body.
We met back up with Mark and Jamie in the main area and quickly told them what we saw.
"Yo, that sounds sick," Jamie exclaimed. "We should blow it up. I found the chemicals in the control room and these bad boys are ready to go," he said, holding up a pipe bomb.
"Yeah," Mark agreed, his eyes alight with excitement. "We'd be doing the world a favor, getting rid of that thing."
Sarah shook her head, her face pale. "No way. I'm not doing this. That thing... It's not normal. We need to get out of here and call someone who knows what they're doing."
Jamie frowned. "Come on, Sarah. Don't be a buzzkill. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to do something epic."
"Epic?" Sarah snapped. "That thing is dangerous. We don't know what we're dealing with. I'm not risking my life for some stupid joke."
Mark stepped in with a grin. "Alright, let's all calm down. If you’re scared you can just let the men handle it.”
Sarah crossed her arms. "Fine, but I'm staying here."
"Suit yourself," Jamie said, shrugging. "But we're not leaving without taking care of that thing."
"Alright, let's do this," Mark said, looking at Jamie and me. "We'll be quick. Sarah, stay here and keep an eye out.”
The hallway looked completely different in the fluorescent lighting. I could see now that each vein of fungus emanated from that single door, like a spiral portal threatening to suck us in.
"Let's make this quick," I whispered, glancing back at Jamie and Mark. "We light the bomb, throw it in, and get the hell out of here."
Jamie nodded, holding the pipe bomb tightly in his hand. "Ready when you are."
We reached the door, and the tendrils of fungus seemed even more aggressive, writhing and pulsing as if aware of our presence. The air was thick with spores.
"On three," I whispered, gripping the edge of the door. "One... two... three."
We yanked the door open, the mold snapping and tearing as it gave way. The smell of rot and decay hit us again, making my eyes water. The monstrous fungal mass loomed before us, its bulbous growths throbbing rhythmically.
Jamie lit the fuse and threw the bomb as hard as he could inside. It struck one of the orbs, which burst, shooting a fine white mist into the air.
"Run!" I shouted, slamming the door shut. We turned and sprinted down the hallway. The explosion sounded behind us, the shockwave lifting me off my feet and sending me tumbling to the ground.
Living in a small southern town, you get used to the way things are. My parents were in the army, so we moved a lot, but now I'm staying put. I woke up around noon and got a text from Mark to meet at the cafe. The smell of slightly stale coffee and pastries greeted me as I arrived. The bell's ring seemed off, giving me a small headache.
I ignored it and slid into the seat across from Mark and Jamie. “So what's on the docket today?” I asked, stealing a doughnut off Jamie's plate.
“Going to go to an old peach factory and get some chemicals. I need to make some fireworks,” Mark replied, subtly revealing some pipe bombs in his bag.
Sarah walked in towards the tail end of our conversation and silently stood next to our table.
The three of us glanced at each other, unsure of how to proceed. “Sarah,” I finally started. “Are you ok?”
“Y-yeah,” she replied. “Are YOU guys feeling ok?”
We exchanged uneasy glances. “Yeah, we’re fine,” I said. After a moment, she shook her head and sat down as we continued our plans.
That evening, we broke into the peach factory. We found this disgusting, gigantic fungal growth coming out of some boxes of peaches and we blew it up with some pipe bombs.
The next day I woke up around noon and got a text from Mark to meet at the cafe. The smell of slightly stale coffee and pastries greeted me as I arrived. The bell's ring seemed off, giving me a small migraine.
I ignored it and slid into the seat across from Mark and Jamie. “So what's on the docket today?” I asked, stealing a maroon off Jamie's plate.
“Going to go to an old peach factory and get some chemicals. I need to make some fireworks,” Mark replied, subtly revealing some pipe bombs in his bag.
Sarah walked in towards the tail end of our conversation and silently stood next to our table.
The three of us glanced at each other, unsure of how to proceed. “Sarah,” I finally started. “Are you ok?”
“Y-yeah,” she replied. “Not really. Are YOU guys feeling Ok?”
We exchanged uneasy glances. “Yeah, we’re fine,” I said. After a moment, she shook her head and sat down as we continued our plans.
That evening, we broke into the peach factory. We found this disgusting, gigantic fungal growth coming out of some boxes of peaches and we blew it up with some pipe bombs.
The next day I woke up around noon and got a text from Mark to meet at the cafe. The smell of slightly stale coffee and pastries greeted me as I arrived. The bell's ring seemed off, giving me a piercing migraine.
I ignored it and slid into the seat across from Mark and Jamie. “So what's on the docket today?” I asked, stealing a bagel off Jamie's plate.
“Going to go to an old peach factory and get some chemicals. I need to make some fireworks,” Mark replied, subtly revealing some pipe bombs in his bag.
Sarah walked in towards the tail end of our conversation and silently stood next to our table.
The three of us glanced at each other, unsure of how to proceed. “Sarah,” I finally started. “Are you ok?”
“What's going on?” she asked, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m scared.”
We exchanged uneasy glances. “It’s fine, Sarah. Just take a seat,” I said. After a moment, she shook her head and sat down as we continued our plans.
That evening, we broke into the peach factory. We found this disgusting, gigantic fungal growth coming out of some boxes of peaches and we blew it up with some pipe bombs.
The next day I woke up around noon and got a text from Mark to meet at the cafe. The smell of slightly stale coffee and pastries greeted me as I arrived. The bell's ring seemed off, giving me a splitting migraine.
As I slid into the seat across from Mark and Jamie, I noticed Sarah outside, fixated on a bird suspended in mid-flight. I went out to see her.
"Are you seeing this?" she asked, her voice tinged with astonishment.
"Yeah," I replied nonchalantly. "That happens all the time. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
"What the hell do you mean, 'Am I feeling okay?'!" she screamed. "That bird is frozen mid-air, and you don't think anything weird is going on?"
Her yelling took me aback. I didn't understand her alarm, so I shrugged it off and joined Mark inside. As we began planning our nightly excursion to the peach factory, Sarah burst through the door, screaming, then vanished in a puff of smoke.
"That's odd," I mused, my brow furrowed in confusion before we shrugged it off and resumed our scheming.
The day after, I met Mark again at the cafe. This rhythm had become our existence: meetings by day, adventures by night at the old peach plant. That evening followed the familiar pattern; we reveled in the thrill of hurling pipe bombs into that small enclosed room.
This routine had completely engulfed our lives. Day after day at the cafe, night after night at the factory—it seemed as though this cycle was all we had ever known. Reflecting on it, I couldn't remember any other way of life.
However, one thing increasingly disturbed me—the ringing of the doorbell at the cafe's entrance. Each time I entered, the sound seemed sharper, more grating. Focusing on it brought a searing pain to my head, like a needle drilling through my skull. Yet, despite the agony, I found myself obsessing over it, the sound gnawing at the edges of my sanity.
One day, driven to the brink by this incessant ringing, I decided to confront it head-on. I stood by the door, letting the bell chime repeatedly. Each ring sliced through my mind, but I persisted, sweat beading on my forehead, teeth clenched in torment.
As the pain crescendoed, reality shattered. I woke to the blaring of a fire alarm, not the quaint doorbell I had imagined. The cafe was engulfed in chaos. The hallway was consumed by a sprawling fungal mass, its tendrils creeping along the walls.
In the dim, flickering light, I saw Jamie, or what was left of him. Half of his skull was missing, the fungus attached grotesquely to his exposed brain, pulsating with each eerie beat of his fading heart. Mark was there too, seemingly unharmed physically, but trapped in a delusion, his eyes glazed over, a smile playing on his lips as the fungus encased him.
Sarah lay collapsed by the fire alarm, her hand still on the lever. She had managed to pull it before succumbing to the spores that now clung to her body.
The tendrils that had enveloped me snapped violently, each break releasing a sickening crack that echoed through the eerie silence of the hallway. An outline of my body remained imprinted in the fungal mass, a mold from which I had desperately broken free.
Gritting my teeth against the pain and horror, I scrambled to Mark and Sarah. Mark was less entangled, lost in his fungal-induced stupor. I grabbed him under the arms, his body limp but alive, and dragged him across the floor. The fungus resisted, stretching like sinew before tearing away from him with wet, ripping sounds.
Sarah was heavier, her body weakened but still fighting. I clasped her wrists, pulling with all my strength. The fungus clung to her, tendrils winding up her arms like ivy. With a final, determined yank, the last of the tendrils snapped, freeing her. We left behind fragments of the monstrous growth clinging to her clothes.
Together, we staggered out into the night air, away from the suffocating enclosure. The cool air hit our faces, harsh yet cleansing. Behind us, the fire alarm continued to blare into the night. I fumbled with my phone, hands shaking, to dial the emergency number. The call went through, and within minutes, the sound of sirens cut through the stillness of the night, growing louder as help approached.
The next few days were a blur. I remember fading in and out of consciousness as nurses pumped antifungals directly into my IV, their faces blurring into the sterile environment. Once we were somewhat cognizant, the police wanted answers. One by one, we were interviewed, but we gave them nothing. I still don’t know what the exact penalty is for manufacturing explosives and using them to destroy a building, but I’m guessing it’s not community service. Jamie was still missing, and they hadn’t found any sign of him or his body. I tried to hide my tears as I knew he was already long gone.
After a few weeks, I was finally cleared for visitors and got to see Sarah again. She told me that after the explosion, she ran but couldn’t leave us behind. She came back, only to see us being consumed by the fungus. Try as she might, she wasn’t able to free us as she felt the oppressive spores take her under. She fought back and managed to pull the fire alarm before succumbing again. The doctors told her that her allergy medication gave her some resistance to the fungus; otherwise, she might have been a goner.
Mark was never the same. We never talked about what happened, and after trying once and him flipping out, I figured it was best to let sleeping dogs lie. That summer, he moved to upstate New York to work in his dad’s business. I haven’t seen him since. That fall, Sarah started college at Savannah State. I still call her every now and again, but it’s not like it used to be.
Despite all that happened, I’m not moving again. I’m happy here, and if it’s up to me, I’ll die in this little town. I still work at the cafe, as a manager now. On weekends, I come in and just sit at the booth we all used to share.
I still think about Jamie from time to time. I wonder if he's dead or still stuck in his delusion, picturing the four of us sitting at our table, talking, laughing, and passing the time. Sometimes, when the cafe is empty and the light is just right, I can almost see him there, his smile frozen in that moment before everything went wrong.
The cafe grows quieter each day, the hum of life fading into an eerie stillness. My skin feels different, as if the air itself whispers secrets I can't quite grasp. The itching that started as a minor annoyance has intensified, becoming a constant torment. I scratch at lesions that have begun to form on my arms and chest, red and raw, with patches of green spreading beneath the surface. I’ve started to wear long sleeves to cover my arms and a mask to hide my purpling lips.
Some nights, when closing, as I sit alone in the dim light of the cafe, the itching becomes unbearable. I claw at the lesions, feeling a dampness beneath my skin. Sometimes, when I cough, I could swear I see tiny spores hanging in the air, reminiscent of the bursting nodules growing on the stalks of the monster.
Occasionally, I hear the bell ring and the door open, but no one is there. I look outside into the empty night and see nothing. This went on for weeks, becoming more frequent. But one night, the door opened, and I saw Jamie standing there, the picture of health. I went to embrace him and noticed my lesions were gone too. It was almost as if we had never gone to the peach factory. It was suddenly morning, and the light shone through the cafe. For the first time in forever, we were happy. We talked about nothing, passing the time.
After what felt like hours, he told me it was time to go. But his mouth wasn’t moving—I felt like I could read his thoughts, and he could read mine. We stood up as I took one last look at the cafe and headed off with him, back to the peach factory.
As we walked, a strange calmness settled over me. I remember feeling that I wanted to ask if he had talked to Mark or Sarah, and wondered how they were doing. But deep down, somehow, I could feel their presence and I knew they were doing just fine. The sun was bright, the air crisp. The itching had vanished completely, replaced by an inexplicable craving for the sweetness of ripe peaches. Jamie and I shared a silent understanding, a bond deeper than any words could convey.
The factory loomed ahead, its doors wide open as if inviting us in. The familiar scent of peaches and something else—something earthy and ancient—filled the air. We stepped inside, side by side, feeling at home for the first time in ages.
The last thing I remember before the darkness took over was the feeling of the soft, warm peach flesh in my hand, and Jamie’s voice in my head saying, "Welcome home."

hi , i just needed to vent here and was hoping to get some more information if anyone has anything to add :) so i desperately need to get out of the abusive home im living in. here's a little of the background,
i'm a f22 and was asked to take care of my sick grandpa for my parents, normally i'd be working and paying rent to them but because i've been helping with my grandpa, they decided to not charge me. well inflation is here , no doubt... and now my parents are upset with me for not having some part time job or money to at least help them out with the cost of living... i have been told to find a job, that my grandpa is no longer my concern and to start paying rent or move out quickly - i was given 2 weeks
i have been applying for work but no one seems to be getting back to me, and its been really difficult to live with my parents as things have escalated to physical abuse and they are constantly angry at me because of how expensive food and the bills are. i don't understand why this is being made out as my burden because they just bought themselves a new car and are always treating themselves, i am not compensated for taking care of my grandpa so i haven't been able to buy things i want myself , and i don't have any savings anymore, as i used what i had when i needed it because i have been out of work at my parents request
lately my step dad makes me feel really unsafe at home and i just cannot take it anymore, i've become a hermit to my bedroom and locked in because he is home at all times and he feels like a great white shark just lurking the open waters. i can't do my basic chores, even going to the bathroom is something i have to prepare myself for because he's always around, circling, watching me, unhappy with everything i do and i think he just sees me as some freeloader. he always comes out from his bedroom or wherever he is, to watch me in the kitchen and i know he does this to tell me off and remind me not to eat so much/anything expensive because i didnt pay for it. i really hate living with him, i get physically sick... and things have escalated beyond arguments, so im always feeling uneasy anticipating a physical encounter with him.
recently he was involved in something i had the displeasure of encountering so i was asked before all of this , to speak for him at a court hearing as a witness in a few months from now. it was the kind of favor i couldn't say no to even though i didn't want to be involved anyway. well now i feel extremely uneasy about the idea of it and being around him, the idea of defending him in court is causing me such large amounts of stress that i can't put food down, i can't eat, think straight, i feel a deep pit in my stomach and it feels like it's just expanding like some loose sink hole...
how do i get out of this? i have no means to a lawyer, i don't want to show up to his court hearing and defend him, i don't want to be up there while he has hurt me and makes me feel so uncomfortable in my home that i have become a crab hidden within its shell... if i dont show up, they can issue a warrant out for my arrest... right? it's all so much for me... i don't have any evidence recorded to show to anyone to issue a restraining order against him, and my family are all narcissists and i am the black sheep so it would be my word against theirs and it would never go in my favor.
i feel really lost right now. i dont know what to do next , i wish i had a safe place to figure this all out but i can't think straight.

Recently I purchased a used vehicle from a local branded car dealership. There was a dash light lit up that I noticed while test driving. Car drove fine and otherwise checked out. I agreed and signed the paperwork for the purchase under the condition they take care of the issue causing the light themselves. They agreed and said they would take care of it the next day & I should leave the vehicle there till it’s fixed. I have been calling back daily for updates and they have been giving me the run around. First call: “we replaced sensor A but it didn’t fix the problem. We will do more digging.” Second call: “we just replaced sensor B but that didn’t fix the problem either, we don’t know what the problem is but will keep looking” At this point communication becomes difficult. Whenever I call in for updates they say my salesperson is off that day & no one else is knowledgeable about the situation. I ask to speak to the sales manager & the receptionist says they are busy and will have to call me back. I never got a call back. The next day I call again and it’s the same thing. Finally the following day the salesperson calls me back & says they have found the issue but the part has been back ordered since the Covid chip shortage. He assures me they have found a different vendor and will have the part in no time. 3 days later still no update. I reach out again & salesperson assures me it’s on its way & even sends me a picture of the part which shows the website they ordered it from. After a google search I found the website they ordered from sells “high quality used parts sourced from vendors with little to no corrosion”. The part isn’t even advertised as refurbished or reconditioned only used. I’m worried since it’s a used part that it will likely fail prematurely & I’ll be stuck having to fix it again. It has been 2 weeks since I purchased the car & I still haven’t even been able to drive it off the lot. They haven’t even offered a loaner or anything of that nature. The Car was purchased in Illinois. Any advice or input is greatly appreciated.

TLDR Found husband watching porn without masturbation; I didn't know he watched it without that specific need. I'm feeling weird about it. Am I overthinking?
Little background: I'm in a, what I would consider, healthy relationship. My 25M husband and I 31F live together after being married for 1y and together for 3. We're very caring to each other and are attentive to each other's needs. We're a very cuddly and conversational couple. Each one of us has individual rooms but we sleep next to each other almost every night. We don't argue much, it can get to code Orange once in a long while. We shower each other with love and are basically friends in love as we share most interests.
When it comes to our sex life, it is a little slow for now as my husband is injured. We're pretty opened; we both watch porn individually and respect each other's "masturbation-time" if we ever interrupt the other on accident. Sex is also great (we'll find out if that's true here though); we love talking about it, we're flirty and we try to please each other a lot during the act.
A few days ago, while I was sleeping and he was out on the terrace. I woke up and was looking for him. I checked on the terrace by the window and saw him watching porn. He had headphones and didn't hear me behind. I closed the curtain and went on.
I'm not sure I understand why it bothered me when I know he normally watches when he needs to masturbate. It was a different feeling. So it got me thinking and, after dinner, he caught me in the corridor and we made out to finish in a bed of roses. After that, I was still wondering about it so I thought to turn to Reddit, to possibly shed some light.
I wanted to ask some men if they could just share the possible causes and if I have to do anything? I want my partner to be happy and fulfilled. I know I don't have the greatest body and I wish I was gifted just a little more volume but hey, what can I do.. I know he wishes it too as I don't really receive any compliments about it haha.
Am I overthinking?

Has anyone run into anything like this? (... and if so, any words of wisdom?)

2024-05-14T16:40:16Z esxupdate: 2101361: downloader: WARNING: Download failed: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 197057 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes'), 4 retry left... 2024-05-14T16:40:24Z esxupdate: 2101361: downloader: WARNING: Download failed: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 209477 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes'), 3 retry left... 2024-05-14T16:40:31Z esxupdate: 2101361: downloader: WARNING: Download failed: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 90797 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes'), 2 retry left... 2024-05-14T16:40:38Z esxupdate: 2101361: downloader: WARNING: Download failed: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 229376 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes'), 1 retry left... 

... followed by:

2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: An esxupdate error exception was caught: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: Traceback (most recent call last): 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 359, in _getfromurl 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: self._retry(self._download_to_file, self.options['retry']) 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 224, in _retry 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: _checkRetry(retry, retries, e) 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 208, in _checkRetry 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: raise exception 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 214, in _retry 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: return func() 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 344, in _download_to_file 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: doDownload(robj, fobj) 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 325, in doDownload 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: raise DownloaderError(self.url, self.local, 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: vmware.esximage.Downloader.DownloaderError: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 232937 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes') 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: During handling of the above exception, another exception occurred: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: Traceback (most recent call last): 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Transaction.py", line 91, in DownloadMetadatas 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: mfile = d.Get() 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 460, in Get 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: return self._getfromurl() 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 361, in _getfromurl 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: raise DownloaderError(self.url, self.local, str(e)) 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: vmware.esximage.Downloader.DownloaderError: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', "('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 232937 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes')") 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: During handling of the above exception, another exception occurred: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: Traceback (most recent call last): 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/ussbin/esxupdate", line 222, in main 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: cmd.Run() 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esx5update/Cmdline.py", line 107, in Run 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Transaction.py", line 93, in DownloadMetadatas 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: raise Errors.MetadataDownloadError(metaUrl, None, str(e)) 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: vmware.esximage.Errors.MetadataDownloadError: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', None, '(\'http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip\', \'/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw\', "(\'http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip\', \'/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw\', \'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 232937 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes\')")') 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: DEBUG: <<< 

Overall, can't reliably patch, stage, or check compliance on some of our remote ESXis connected to vCenter via Meraki site-to-site VPNs.
A bit more context:

• this is happening when trying to update an ESXi 7.0u3 via vCenter 7
• the errors happen when doing staging, remediation, compliance checks
• we have about 40 of these remote ESXis; some more affected than others
• those "Download failed" ... "received bytes, expecting bytes" seem to happen randomly on different files each time. Hitting "remediate" button 20-30 times may eventually push the update through - but I feel like a madman doing this... (There gotta be a better way?)
• critical and security patches - can be done manually, via zipped depot updates and esxcli - but the "non-critical" ones don't seem to be available via those depots...
• we use site-to-site Meraki VPN with MX64 and MX100 appliances
• the VPN uses dual load-balanced uplinks at each site with graceful failover
• we also have a lot of other site-to-site VPN traffic between the network where vCenter is located, and remote sites - yet we see no failures or retries with any other traffic
• no errors or warnings anywhere in Meraki event logs...
• some sites are better than others: some get patched w/o retries, some may take days to push updates through

I am stumped... :)
Been fighting this for over a year now.
Any ideas?
Thanks!

I’m a recent-ish grad, looking to land something that will get my foot into IT.
For some background, I graduated last year and took a bit of a break for a few months before I started applying for jobs. I’ve been applying for around 10 months now and have only had a few interviews so far (less than 5). I recently remade my resume, and will appreciate any suggestions or feedback.
Thanks in advance.
​
https://preview.redd.it/463kpbi5ng0d1.png?width=769&format=png&auto=webp&s=ab6eba28b58664cb310560d840e3bedca158d5d2

I posted this on AskHistorians, but figured this was a good place for it too, given that I am asking about historical military methods. Do let me know if this is off-topic though.
I am mainly interested in Medieval Europe, but anything regarding the rest of the world is fine. By infiltration, I mean sneaking in (or bribing someone already inside), and undermining the defenses from the inside (of the fortress or fortified city). An example scenario would be sneaking in a few men through deliveries of supplies, having them hide in the city with some food and water to sustain themselves, and once the besieging army is close, they would kill the gate keepers and open/destroy the gate. Another example would involve infilitration and then siezing the liege (or their family) and holding them hostage until they order the opening of the gates.
I haven't seen that much mention of infiltration in texts about sieges. Of course, there is the famous Trojan horse example. Then there's the perhaps more dubious account of the siege of Luna in 860, in which some Vikings pretended to be Christians wanting to bury their dying chieftain inside the city. According to the account, this worked, and the siege began from the inside. Apparently, they eventually reached the city walls and let in the greater besieging force.
As far as I can tell, this Wikipedia article on siegeing only mention infiltration in a single sentence:
"This [sieging] is typically coupled with attempts to reduce the fortifications by means of siege engines, artillery bombardment, mining (also known as sapping), or the use of deception or treachery to bypass defenses." (bold by me)
It appears infiltration wasn't that common. I can think of some reasons why it wouldn't be common, but also reasons why it would.
Why it should have been common:

1. Infilitration is inexpensive in resources and time compared to other methods of besiegement.
2. Infilitration sometimes does not require special knowledge, skills and tools, but other methods of besiegement almost always does. As such, infilitration is method someone without all that much could attempt.

If one is trying to infiltrate a city/fortress whilst acting as someone with no bad intentions, one must be able to act, know enough about the role one is acting as, and if infilitrating a foreign city/fortress, one would often have to be (or act as) a native of the region, which could also be rare ability/trait for members of the besieging force. So, 2. is not universally true, but I would think more often true than other methods of besiegement.
Why it should not have been common:

1. Infilitration is scary and dangerous; not everyone would want that job.
2. Infilitrating men could be taken captive and tortured for information hurting the besieging force.
3. The city/fortress could know about the besiegeing force's proximity, and thus be alert, checking all supplies and people that go through the gate; or perhaps, they let nothing and no-one in and take from storages instead.
4. The internal security could be so good that infilitrators wouldn't be effective anyways, unless they were so numerous that getting all of them in would be harder than just normal besiegement.
5. Maybe infilitration wasn't as glorious/gracious/pious as other methods of besiegement to many of the Medieval cultures/religions?

So, my question is this:
How (un)common was infilitration as a siege method, and why was it that (un)common?

Before going into it, I want to mention how this post was inspired by three things. One was user u/HastyvonFuego2 and their post on going down the rabbit hole on the Kendrick sub last week. It was also inspired by Childish Gambino’s first album release in nearly 6 years where I have been sitting on this idea for a while but he inspired me to finally post this week like he did (never posted on Reddit at all before so be gentle if I am not doing it right)! I was also inspired by an interview Bino gave to GQ about breaking down his most iconic characters. In this interview he says how This is America started out as a Drake diss but then he realized the song was too hard for just Drake so he kept working on it. He also talks in this interview about how all culture is about compression. Which means that yes, This is America is about the gun violence and police issues in America, but compressed in this video is also more about where that culture comes from which he shows is from a small handful of rap moguls, namely Drake, Diddy and Jay-Z (bear with me on this long post, I think/hope it will be worth it). At the end I talk briefly about how Little Foot Big Foot might be in this same vein of cultural compression.
[Intro: Choir]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go away
The beginning of this song has no background music yet, which really gives it an ‘in the beginning’ feel. Then Gambino starts doing his dances with weird facial expressions. I will explain as we go through his video how those expressions and dance moves represent different famous rap moguls. One easy look to pick out right away is Jay-Z’s famous lip curl/growl look that Gambino gives with a head nod repeatedly. The colonial pants have been a hot topic, but since it’s only the pants that are colonial, Gambino is saying the bottom or basis for this violent culture in America is ultimately colonialism. The lyrics ‘Go Away’, are likely foreshadowing the rap moguls wanting other popular rap rivals to ‘go away’ or they will make them (aka murder them) for profit.
[Bridge: Childish Gambino & Young Thug]
We just wanna party
Party just for you
We just want the money
Money just for you (Yeah)
Usually you want money for yourself and to party for yourself, so this is a bit odd. But what Gambino is referring to is similar to these Diddy ‘freakoff parties’ we are hearing about where people who want to be famous are really partying for these rap moguls so they can get close to them. Where they suck up to them saying that they want to earn the mogul money from their songs.
I know you wanna party
Party just for free
Girl, you got me dancin' (Girl, you got me dancin')
Dance and shake the frame (Yeah)
Then this almost feels like the Diddy rebuttal where he’s like ya I know you want to party and you want to do it for free. Like Katt Williams says, “you gotta tell Diddy no”, it is never free to go to those parties. There are always consequences. When you are partying you are dancing, but shaking the frame could refer to how those boundaries/edges are being crossed, lines are blurred, etc.
Then in the video, the fellow who was playing the guitar gets shot and things turn dark from happy music. I believe that this guitar tune is meant to represent 2Pac and Nas’s song Thugz Mansion. It’s one of the original greats from ‘in the beginning’. Nas famously has always had major issues with Jay-Z too (More on why 2Pac and Nas later). It also represents how it was these moguls who murdered 2Pac like Jaguar Wright and Katt Williams keep saying. Where these murders only lead to more money and fame for the killers when the dead artists’ and their music are exploited more easily.
Also note that the gun gets taken away by a school kid after the shooting, more on this later as well.
[Verse 1: Childish Gambino, Young Thug, Blocboy JB & 21 Savage]
This is America (Skrrt, skrrt, woo)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Ayy)
Look how I'm livin' now
Police be trippin' now (Woo)
Yeah, this is America (Woo, ayy)
Guns in my area (Word, my area)
There is a song called Guns in My Area by Lil Weiner and Baby Chapox that paints a vivid picture of the everyday struggles and conflicts faced by those living in communities affected by gun violence. More compression of other songs and the American gun culture.
I got the strap (Ayy, ayy)
I gotta carry 'em
I am almost certain this line is referring to 2Pac’s song Changes. Throughout This is America, Gambino takes lines from Pac’s song: “They get jealous when they see you with your mobile phone” (referred to later in this a Celly, that’s tool) “That's the sound of my tool, you say it ain't cool, My mama didn't raise no fool”
“And as long as I stay black, I gotta stay strapped, And I never get to lay back” It seems like Gambino broke up these lyrics and scattered them throughout his song. This plays into the theme that everyone is using 2Pac and enriching themselves off of his image and music. I show below how this particular section of the video represents Diddy meaning that Diddy himself is exploiting his music (and alleging that Diddy killed Pac?). We could see this exploitation play out at length with how much Diddy milked the death of Biggie like in Every Breath You Take.
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go into this (Ugh)
Yeah, yeah, this is guerilla (Woo)
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go get the bag
The song Gorilla War by $uicideboy$ and Ramirez talks about getting a bag repeatedly in the course. Also in Otis with Kanye and Jay-Z their lyrics talk about going gorilla (I talk about this song more further down), so it could be referring to this as well. It seems like Gambino is trying to pull out lyrics from all across the rap culture and embed them in his song to highlight the ‘cultural compression’.
Yeah, yeah, I'm so cold like, yeah (Yeah)
I'm so dope like, yeah (Woo)
We gon' blow like, yeah (Straight up, uh)
I think that all of the school kids in the video represent all of the rappers that are signed with these big labels. Which is interesting because they are the ones facilitating the guns for the moguls in the video. You can see that the mogul is really focused on the kids and gets agitated and directs them to follow him whenever they stray off a bit like they are his pupils, or like he owns them. Then all of a sudden the camera comes into a scene where you can see more kids shooting a rap video and all shooting money from a Supreme gun. The camera zooms out almost to show you that this is the mogul’s whole rap empire they are looking over, all of their kids in one place (this empire already includes some chaos in the background). It’s subtle but hilarious, Gambino puts fricken chickens on the ground where the kids are filming the rap video. He is directly calling all of these rappers complete chickens for playing up this lifestyle and being the cause of so much chaos rather than coming out and telling somebody what’s really going on. Trying to get their money over everything else.
[Refrain: Choir & Childish Gambino]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
You go tell somebody
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (Get your— Black man)
This is where things start to get interesting. Gambino is literally saying, go tell somebody about this! We all know what’s happening, why don’t you go let people know how bad it is? But like Jaguar Wright said, who do you tell when these moguls have the cops and feds paid off? This video is literally Gambino putting it all out there in this extremely popular song for everyone to see but yet we still just see the dancing and the violent chaos of people and police in the streets and not the root cause that is hidden in plain sight.
The vast majority of those who reviewed this video until now think this scene represents the tragic church shooting in Charleston in 2015. I think it does, but we also have to look at this from an angle of compression.
The people in the choir are all of the people who are currently singing the rap mogul’s praises and who are focused on going and getting what’s owed to them, get their money (who are also profiting off of the dead fellows music since it goes back to the original tune). You can see that each choir member has a distinct look to them. Think about who you are hearing about now who is about to be implicated in these freak offs and evil deeds. Is that Will Smith in the back left corner!? The short bald fellow in the front left maybe Kevin Hart? Rick Ross or TD Jakes maybe the bigger guy towards the back right? When the camera zooms in on the choir right at first to show their faces, doesn’t the guy in the bottom middle look like an uncanny version of Jordan Peele? Or is that meant to be Cuba Gooding Jr? Then just like the guitar fellow at the beginning, bang. You may be singing Diddy’s praises now, but he will cut you down whenever he suddenly feels like it.
I think almost for sure this initial section of the music video is Gambino acting as Diddy, because right after he shoots the choir, he does the elbow pump/chicken dance. At 3:14 in Diddy’s video for P.E. 2000 he does the chicken dance (he is up first in the video and I think Gambino is trying to say here I first present to you the first public enemy of 3 in this song). That elbow dance signals that it was Diddy and this is the end of his section.
[Chorus: Childish Gambino, Young Thug, Slim Jxmmi & Quavo]
This is America (Woo, ayy)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Woo, woo, don't catch you slippin' now)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Ayy, woah)
Look what I'm whippin' now (Slime!)
There have been many accounts of celebrities being given fancy cars after suffering abuse at the hands of these moguls. So these lyrics are saying that you better not slip up and tell people what’s really going on. And if you don’t look at this sweet carecord deal/movie contract I am going to give you. Beiber told this story about Diddy wanting to give him a luxury car.
Now suddenly, the dance switches from the chicken dance to a sudden bicep flex to signal us that we have now moved on from Gambino representing Diddy to our next mogul.
[Verse 2: Childish Gambino, Quavo, Young Thug, 21 Savage & BlocBoy JB]
This next chunk of the video is all about Jay-Z. I think this is the case because he throws his arms up in a bicep flex just like Jay does in the Otis music video at 2:38. And it makes sense Gambino would pick a dance move from a video with a huge American flag in the background to fit the ‘This is America’ theme. Gambino is mocking him saying, who are you really, the pretty guy or this hard gangster like Gambino shows in his dancing. Also right before they pan to the kids on the balcony, Bino also does Jay-Z’s signature lip curl look a couple times so we know it’s him and to signal the end of his section.
Look how I'm geekin' out (Hey)
I'm so fitted (I'm so fitted, woo)
Jay-Z is famous for making the fitted Yankees cap famous, it’s his signature look. More signs this verse is about Jay.
I'm on Gucci (I'm on Gucci)
Jay-Z has been seen in full wallpaper Gucci sweat suits but could also be referring to Gucci Mane who he hung out with at Beyonce’s tour around the time this song was released.
I'm so pretty (Yeah, yeah, woo)
I'm gon' get it (Ayy, I'm gon' get it)
Watch me move (Blaow)
These lines are probably referring to Jay-Z having a hidden preference for men, especially with the way Gambino flicks his wrist in the video when he says I’m so pretty.
This a celly (Ha)
That's a tool (Yeah)
On my Kodak (Woo) Black
I think that “this a celly, that’s a tool” harkens back to 2Pac’s lyrics in Changes where he sings, “They get jealous when they see ya with your mobile phone” then shortly after that he sings about the sound of his tool, referring to shooting a gun. But Childish flips these lyrics on their head. He is saying that it’s really the phone that’s a tool to be using, not a gun. And pans up and shows (the school kids specifically) on the balcony filming everything going on below. He’s telling the kids/other rappers, use your phone as a tool, you can record these bad deeds when you get blackmailed into being at the freak off. That’s how you can kill them and their career, not with a gun. Go tell somebody! There is also the reference to Kodak which plays into the picture taking theme, but also because Kodak Black has been accused of assaulting a teenage girl in a hotel room. So we have a good idea of what Gambino suggests all the kids start filming and collecting evidence of.
Ooh, know that (Yeah, know that, hold on)
Get it (Woo, get it, get it)
Ooh, work it (21)
Now we are onto Drake’s part. In the video Gambino starts doing the BlocBoy JB dance called Shoot. Drake is known for doing these little viral dance moves like in Hotline Bling. But not only that, this dance is also used in the song that both BlocBoy JB and Drake collaborate on for their video Look Alive. It starts at 2:07 in the Look Alive video. So this is Drake’s dance to signal his part is now starting.
Note this is where the pale horse rides by also potentially saying that Drake is one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Interestingly, Drake’s collab with BlocBoy JB was pretty much the apocalypse for BlocBoy’s career, who hasn’t had a hit since.
Hunnid bands, hunnid bands, hunnid bands (Hunnid bands)
Contraband, contraband, contraband (Contraband)
I got the plug in Oaxaca (Woah)
They gonna find you like "blocka" (Blaow)
Again, we know this is Drake’s section because his song 10 bands starts out by saying “10 bands, 50 bands, 100 bands” almost identical to Bino’s lyrics here. Also Blocka was famously used by Biggie in his song Gimme the Loot which could be referring to Biggie's demise like Pac’s and making money from his death. Everything in this industry originates from pushing drugs, which has been alleged through the trafficking that Diddy, Jay-Z and Drake do through their private jets likely connected to their bosses, the Clive Davises and Lucian Grainges of the world. This escalates rap beefs and the whole culture to the next level where murder is often a consequence for young rappers in their prime when international drug lord money is involved.
An interesting point is this is the only time where Childish was about to shoot someone in the video, but where he didn’t have a school kid either handing him the gun or taking it away carefully from him. (Maybe also a diss at Drake that even though he acts hard he doesn’t shoot, he gets his horseman of the apocalypse to do his dirty deeds for him instead perhaps?). This is the beginning of the end for the rap mogul as he no longer has his kids doing his bidding for him. A simple message to show how the violence can be stopped, that these shootings can end when the kids stop enabling them. So then as soon as he can’t react in that moment and shoot someone his anger is forced to chill out, as shown by smoking a J, and to go back to exploiting the dead man’s music instead. If you don’t put a gun in someone’s hand when they are heated, those feelings too shall pass - kinda feel.
[Refrain: Choir, Childish Gambino, & Young Thug]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
America, I just checked my following list, and
You mothafuckas owe me
Whose voice does that sound like!? It sounds a lot like Diddy to me, public enemy #1. This is basically saying that the moguls are the ones who we all owe it to for all of this glorified gun violence in America. That we owe them way more follows and likes for what a massive influence they have had on the violence and chaos we see in America today.
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (Black man)
(1, 2, 3—get down)
In Moneybagg Yo’s song 1, 2, 3, he also has a line that says “1, 2, 3, let’s go!” in a similar vein.
But something interesting I came across was Nas’s song Get Down where they use a sample from James Brown's “The Boss” that sounds extremely similar to the way Gambino screams “Get Down!” Which would fit well if the guitar singer from the beginning is meant to be Nas and Pac doing Thugz Mansion.
Also make sure you check out Nas’s song Get Down so that you can hear how much Jay-Z outright copied this song for The Story of OJ. From the musical structure with the piano and interwoven samples right down to the theme reiterated by the sample at the end of Nas’s song: “If that’s how our people are gonna get down, how are we ever gonna get up?”
SZA
Finally to wrap up the video, I have been stumped for a long time as to why SZA is randomly at the end of this video sitting on one of the cars. But I think I finally know why and it reconfirms that this last scene is all about Drake. If you watch Drake’s music video for Worst Behavior (not very Canadian of him to spell behaviour that way I might add) you will see Drake rapping and dancing with a few cars surrounding him and one of those cars has other rappers making cameos in it. In Gambino’s video SZA represents that car with a famous cameo. I think this is further confirmed when the black edges of the video start closing inwards at the end of This is America, the exact same way that Worst Behavior ends. So why SZA as the cameo then? Cause it reminds people that Drake is a p*do.
This is from an article in the Rolling Stone: In 2020, Drake revealed publicly that he and SZA had dated over a decade ago, well before she was an established artist (her earliest music goes back to around 2012; her critical breakthrough, Ctrl, came in 2017). On 21 Savage’s “Mr. Right Now,” Drake rapped about a newer fling who was a fan of SZA’s: “Yeah, said she wanna fuck to some SZA, wait / ‘Cause I used to date SZA back in ’08 / If you cool with it, baby, she can still play.” A few days later, SZA responded, corroborating Drake’s claim with a slight correction: they dated in 2009, when both would have been over 18. Since SZA would not have turned 18 until late 2008, she wanted to set the record straight. “in this case a year of poetic rap license mattered 🥴lol I think he jus innocently rhymed 08 w wait [sic],” she tweeted. “I just didn’t want anybody thinking anything underage or creepy was happening . Completely innocent . Lifetimes ago . [sic]”
If you have to specifically say something isn’t creepy and distance yourself from it being lifetimes ago, it usually is creepy. Drake would’ve been 22 when she was 17. Metro Boomin also happens to be on the Mr. Right Now track. He is currently in trouble for resurfaced old tweets showing how Metro used to tweet disgusting things about what he wanted to do to underage girls. Interestingly, Metro Boomin is also now beefing with Drake.
Drake doing his dance on the car of the original musician’s music seems to be accusing Drake directly of stealing 2Pac’s music. Orlando Brown recently said the cryptic statement that “Drake is Pac” which likely means he stole 2Pac’s approach/style/audience after his death. Gambino did some good foreshadowing here too with the recent AI release Drake put out of 2Pac.
This dance scene also signals that the Drake section is now over.
[Outro: Young Thug]
You just a black man in this world
You just a barcode, ayy
You just a black man in this world
Drivin' expensive foreigns, ayy
You just a big dawg, yeah
I kenneled him in the backyard
No, probably ain't life to a dog
For a big dog
The outro lyrics speak to how these gatekeepers keep black men down and control them with things like being forced to wear a dress to become famous or to submit to homosexual/p*do acts.. In the video, as I mentioned above, the black edges close in on Drake’s dancing scene in This is America. But they don’t completely close and end things like they do in the Worst Behavior video. Instead, in Gambino’s video, the camera pans to show the mogul running for his life with Young Thug’s lyrics almost like a quiet echo in the background. He isn’t running from the cops though, he’s running from the kids and from the public. When I mentioned earlier that the kids not handing over the last gun before Drake’s scene signalled the beginning of the end for the moguls, this is that conclusion. Where it is showing that if all the kids come together to stop enabling and rather expose the moguls, people will be chasing these bastards down once we realize what has been going on behind the curtain. Then the song that Young Thug is singing can just be a quiet echo of the way things were in the past.
If you don’t think Gambino would be this deep and that I went too far down the rabbit hole, do a Google search on the calculations that he came up with for why he sings about loving until 3005 in his song. He seems to go real deep with his lyrics. So a big question this leaves us with is, what did Childish Gambino witness in the rap industry? His whole rap career plays out like he is trying to avoid industry norms.
Even in Sweatpants, he has lyrics like:
No hands like soccer teams and y'all fuck boys like Socrates
You niggas ain't coppin' these, niggas ain't lookin' like me (Nah)
Nah, I ain't checkin' I.D. (Nah), but I bounce 'em with no problem
Seems like he is trying to make it really clear across his catalogue of music that he isn’t a p*do but that other rappers are. Where he is saying that he doesn’t need to ID his potential partners because he can tell they are obviously too young and that’s not hard to do.
Tell 'em, Problem (Problem!)
I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (What?)...
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain
So who was trying to paint him as a villain, Drake? And that’s why the diss was originally meant for him?
Don't be mad 'cause I'm doing me better than you doing you…
Better than you doing you
Fuck it, what you gon' do? (What?!)
He’s taunting the other rappers cause he knows they can’t say shit if they are creeps. He has the same sentiment in Bonfire “It’s a bonfire, turn the lights out, I’m burning everything you mother fuckers talk about.”
Childish Gambino has always refrained from talking about the meaning of This is America whenever he is asked, and I can only assume that all of this is why.
Little Foot Big Foot
Now with his new release, Little Foot Big Foot and applying cultural compression to it, it has me wondering if he is referring to Megan Thee Stallion and the Nicki beef? People like Nicki (calling Megan Big Foot) have been claiming for some time she wasn’t even shot in the foot by Tory Lanez. There were many people laughing and making fun of Megan over getting shot. Which could be an interesting story for Childish to tell to represent how crazy this violent culture has gotten that people just laugh and blame the victim now when you get shot. Also a good metaphor for things like ‘shooting yourself in the foot’ for not having a lawyer look over potentially predatory industry contracts like in the beginning of his video. That you want to get in the cool kids club so bad you overlook it. Not as sure on this one though since the song just came out and I have only heard it a few times.
One last thing that is really interesting, there have been tons of artists on podcasts like Shay Shay talking about the strings these ultra rich moguls can pull. Like buying awards or gatekeeping people from being in the industry at all. There was even a story, I think maybe it was Gene Deal who told it, that when Killer Mike won at the grammys that Jay-Z was so angry he made sure to mess up his night by getting him locked up as soon as he left the awards stage. These moguls are extremely powerful and have an incredible amount of sway in the world/industry. If you check out Gambino’s profile on Youtube, his old music videos keep getting taken down, like Bonfire for example is just gone. Fans have been having to upload the videos themselves. There is a reply to a comment, on one of the fan uploaded vids, from Gambino’s account himself when someone asks why the videos are being taken down. His account just replies “Noone knows why :(“ Seems a bit odd all things considered and like maybe he has been at the mercy of these gatekeepers for going against the system.
I am so curious to know what the rest of you think about all of this!

With the noise suppression added to the audio from the mics on the podcast, you get an eerie silence when no one is speaking, that also a lot of other podcasts also have.
I was thinking that maybe it would be a good idea to play an audio recording of the background noise of the studio (when the AC is off) to combat the silence during the podcast? Just record it on one of the mics with the noise suppression of. Maybe tweak/lower the volume on it if its too much?
Just a thought, as this would make it so that I have to check my earbuds/phone constantly to see if they have stopped playing audio or if my lock screen ninja skills have failed and YT has paused.

Until this point, I only went to a walk-in clinic as needed, which was once every five years or so, usually for something like strep throat. I go in, pay my copay, see some random doctor, get my bubble gum medicine, and go about my business. The whole process never took more than an hour. Then, a few weeks later, I get a bill. I have amazing insurance, thanks to my wife's high-level corporate job, so those weeks-later bills were never too much for us to handle.
But I knew that it was time for me to establish a relationship with a regular doctor, get annual check-ups, eventually get a colonoscopy, etc...
I had my first visit with him two months ago. A nice guy. Young, which is good. I'm looking for someone who can be my doctor for a long time. The facility was brand new too. You could still smell the new paint. The waiting room could easily hold 50+ people, but, the day I went, I was one of only three people in it. It was all very nice. I started to wonder why people complain about this a lot.
It's been a clusterf* since then.
The doctor found out that I had high blood pressure. Okay, that explains my headaches. I need to lose weight, which I already knew. So he prescribed WeGovy.
I've been trying to get that prescription ever since, but my insurance and my doctor and the pharmacy can't seem to figure out what the hell it's going to take to actually get me on this. I go to the pharmacy, and they don't have it. I call the doctor, and they said that they sent it. I get a call from insurance, saying that they need more info before approving it. I call the doctor. They get the info. Insurance approves. Doctor claims, again, that they sent the prescription. Pharmacy claims, again, that they have no idea what the hell I'm talking about.
So somewhere out there is a drug that I need and have been trying to get for two months, but I can't figure out where it is. I also have no idea how much it will cost, until I find it and they tell me then how much.
It's a huge pain and there has to be a better way to do this.

Hi all,
I have passed my initial phone screening, criticall, panel and now I'm on to the background check (Canada). They were very clear that I need the specific date I was hired, and a reference for the last 10 years for each job, and volunteering that I did.
I'm worrying as I cannot remember, nor have a reference for all of them. Some were only a few months as I did smaller jobs (we had a medically fragile child and I was often in the hospital with them, so I couldn't really ever commit to anything long term - but they have been medically stable for 2 years now, which is why I am finally applying), does that look poorly? I didn't even put them on my resume as I figured it wasn't monumental, but they said after the interview I need to mention every single thing I did.
How do you get dates for a decade ago? or references for that matter? Did you find the same struggles?

Tl;dr: in the country I moved to seems professors cannot afford two bedrooms and a car. My wife resents me for it. What should I do?
Ok, I was baiting... she doesn't hate me, we're very much in love. However, she does resent me lately because our living standards are not up to par with people much less successful in paper.
I am 40, associate professor at a prestigious research university in Sweden. I moved here from another European country together with my wife for my work. I was working in a startup and making big bucks but was enchanted by the allure of the position I've coveted my whole life. She was working in our home country with a nice management job and gave it up, here is earning less after 5 years.
My family situation is quite bad financially, I come from a working-class background. Sometimes I have to pay help to my father to make rent in my home country. Swedish crown has collapsed against the Euro the last couple of years (-15%) and that doesn't help. Luckily my siblings are doing quite well, and my younger brother and especially my sister are earning now more than double what I get, and she helps with father the most. Recently my sister came to visit and explained facts I wasn't aware of about my father and that added to the discomfort of both me and my wife.
My wife also comes from a working-class background, but at least her parents had the head screwed on the right way and could take advantage of being boomers and buy a little nice nest to stay comfortable for two pennies and a boot.
Sweden is a very expensive country, and in my area a professor salary doesn't go far, especially if it comes to real estate. Furthermore, there is no upward premium and there is basically no difference in my department between the least and the most paid. Actually, I'm one of the ones earning the most as associate because I have also admin task. Full professors earn marginally more and even that promotion will not change the economic situation that much. In fact, my colleagues of all stripes basically gave up living in a nice area with families and move to the countryside.
Basically, my wife resents this economic situation and the fact that she came here for me. We're living in 65sqm in 2 and we've got a baby on the way. We cannot afford more without changing area that my wife doesn't want to do. In our home country, with her salary back then and me doing high school, we could have afforded anything within reason instead, and not having to choose between two bedrooms or amenities. My family cannot help, and in fact it is a constant drag. I'm very vulnerable to the exchange, and if the currency tanks further and I really start making less money than a high school teacher back home and having difficulties supporting family and parents. We see our friends buying nice little villas and seatown properties and here I'm stuck earning less than my students' summer job.
It's been years and I cannot shake the nagging feeling that coming here was the greatest mistake of my life. Now I don't know if moving would be another unwise decision. I do not feel confident looking for job as professor elsewhere, and I don't know how to approach it since in my country the vast majority of openings is for junior positions. Should I look some other job and becoming a corporate drone for some faceless entity and an idiot manager?
How should I get over at this nagging guilt of having a child on the way and not being able to provide the lifestyle my family deserves and that most people can afford without advanced degrees and moving to a foreign country?

hello title pretty much explains it i’m 18 been building credit for 6 months which ik it doesn’t mean anything my mom has terrible credit and i have nobody else to co sign my score is a 660 and i have no late payments or anything. utilization kinda high but it’s just for one card which is my capital one card. my capital one line is $300 meanwhile my discover is 2500 . I’ve also been working at my job for three years and i make around 1500 a month the last time i checked the most i could barrow was $11,000 but i can’t find any in that range just $16k-20k how much of a down payment would i possibly need or how long until my credit looks good enough to where i really don’t need a down payment does it a couple of years or is 6 months good enough and i just need to work on my score?

I've been struggling with a very destructive pattern of paying for sex for some time now. I don't do it often, and bc of that I've fooled myself into believing that these act-outs are just a series of one-off events brought on by specific stressors in my life, but it has undoubtedly become a pattern and I know that I need some accountability.
For context, from a young age I've always engaged in somewhat deviant (to me) sexual behavior. I was raised very strictly catholic and from a young age was told in school that it was a sin to masturbate. I matured earlier than many boys and started masturbating in 4th grade. The first time scared the hell out of me as I had no idea what was happening. All I knew is it felt good and that I couldn't talk to it about anyone.
Fast forward to 8th grade - I was in a serious relationship through 9th grade. This was the first time I had sex of any kind with another person. I also was cheating on her with many other girls.
Next was sophomore year of high school. The first time I experienced true love. And the first time I felt I had such a deep connection with someone else that was respectful and honest. And still I ended up cheating on her toward the end of our two years together. We remain friends to this day which I'm very thankful for, and hey it was high school - water under the bridge, young people make mistakes right? maybe, but...
Fast forward to my college years, I was in a very serious relationship for the entirety of college that culminated in marriage right out of school and a subsequent divorce a few years later. She was the one. Beautiful, smart, sexy. She had everything I wanted (or thought I wanted in my juvenile brain). But as we entered our 3rd year of dating, we began to have many serious sexual issues that we would later find out, stemmed from both of our underlying trauma surrounding sex. We continuously played out a very destructive sexual fantasy that was never explicitly spoken about until the very end of our relationship. In addition to this, I also had many emotional and physical affairs along the way.
That failed marriage prompted a complete overhaul of my life. I was devastated and I knew there were many things I needed to sort out if I was ever going to have a healthy relationship to sex and with another person. Thus, I found a therapist. An amazing therapist. I didn't realize how good he was until much later. The work we did together changed my life. I found a stable career. And I found the girl of my dreams. The relationship was calm, respectful, loving, and without the vicious ups and downs I had previously known. The sex was good and meaningful. We are still together - married with three children. And to this day I have not had any sort of emotional connection to anyone else but her.
And yet, I'm here. Early in my relationship with my now-wife, I visited a massage parlor and cheated. I talked about this with my therapist. We dug in and explored why I felt the need to do this and discovered that this acting out had very little to do with my relationship and everything to do with some unresolved issues inside of me. Thus, the advice was to not disclose the transgression to my partner as it would only cause her pain. That took me a minute to understand but I believe it was the right decision. I still do. And with time, I moved past it.
That was my only transgression for a long time. After many years of intensive therapy I was a new man, feeling more confident and secure in myself than I'd ever been. And so on my therapists advice we began to taper off on the sessions until finally we felt the bulk of our work was done and that I we would check in only on a necessary basis.
And then 3 years into my marriage, I acted out again. I visited another sex worker. I was devastated. But I felt confident that I could handle this on my own. I didn't call my therapist. I journaled, I downloaded a sober app, I conducted therapy sessions with myself, and I held myself accountable. And with time I began to feel better until the guilt faded away and after numerous successful moments where I stopped myself from acting out. This gave me a security that I might finally have kicked my issue. And so I went on with life, I dedicated myself to being the best partner and father I could be. I didn't think of my transgressions often - only when those impulses would arise or I would catch myself drinking a bit too much and experiencing intrusive thoughts.
And then after almost 2 years of sobriety, I did again last week. And I'm crushed. It shakes the foundation I've fought so hard to build. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like a broken person doomed to failure. And my deep fear now is that I've pathologized this behavior. I've normalized it. And that thought sends me into a panic. Is this what my life will be? Will I always have to carry around this shadow self? This is not the man I want to be. This is not the partner or father I want to be.
And what makes it that much more difficult is that my family and friends adore me. I've been referred to as "golden boy" more than a few times. I have an enviable life. And I'm the type of person who friends and family confide in and look up to. I've been told I emanate a quiet strength and people feel safe around me.
And yet, here I am with this terrible secret. I don't feel like the man people think I am or that I portray myself to be. I've called my therapist and we will speak tomorrow, but any words of encouragement or additional resources would be much appreciated. I cannot allow this to happen again. It is eating away at my heart.

Ok... I'm officially stumped. Here's my situation: I have a 15A/15A double pole circuit breaker, has two switches that move independent of the other (if something causes it to trip, only that switch that runs whatever will reset, the other will remain working). This particular breaker, one 15A switch controls outlets in my bedroom, living room, and outlets in two other rooms along with light fixtures also for each room. The other half controls the laundry light, outside back light, kitchen light and the non-gfci outlets in kitchen. Power center is in my bedroom. Just outside my bedroom is my laundry room, just the other side of that in my kitchen, then living room, then hallway facilitating two bedrooms with a bathroom in the middle. There is a ceiling light fixture in the laundry room that a while back had started flickering regardless of bulb in it. It is controlled by a switch on the kitchen side of the wall that separates laundry/kitchen. There is another switch in the gang box that (as best I know) only controls the light outside the back door which is also exiting the kitchen. I have a very basic knowledge of electric, primarily toggle switches and soldering wires etc. Back when the light began flickering, I had pulled the fixture down to check it. it was a flush mount single build fixture, and it had a pull chain attached. I bypassed the chain switch and just wired it to the fixture. I didn't get anything at all so I just left the fixture off and put wire nuts on the wires, left it. Fast forward to 6 months later: We've been fine without a light so far in the laundry room but my eyesight is failing me rather quickly so it's harder to see in low light to me so I wanted to replace the light fixture and get it working so I did just that. Only, the light came on for a second then faded off, never to light again. I checked everything, even placed the bulb from it into a working figure and it still works. So what made the most sense to me, the switch in the kitchen must be going bad. So I like the power to that group pulled them out of the gang box, eliminated the one switch for the laundry light, disconnected the outside light completely because we never go out there at night anyways, and moved it over to control the laundry. When I wired everything back up, making sure that everything was correct, I switched power back on. The only thing different is the outside light no longer hot, old laundry switch removed, outside light switch used in it's place. That's it. When I flipped the light switch in the box I got nothing at all. So I got my tester out to check the switch. I accidentally tagged the edge of the switch with the tester prong, making a big spark, and tripped the half of the breaker it was on. So I went got a new switch, just one, and replaced it. Still have nothing. I replaced the breaker with the exact same one, just a different brand name. I still have nothing. I mean I don't have pretty anything on the one half. The other half still functions fine but I don't know for how long because I'm a single dad of twin girls so their room is being lightly powered by drop cords running from outlets for microwave and my room is lightly powered by drops running from washing machine outlet (why it's separate from the above light, I don't know.) I'm at a loss. I've scoured Google looking and I can't find anything. Not that it's not there, I don't know exact terminology for everything so I may not have worded it right but yeah that's my thing. I can't afford $120 just to get the electrician to show up, pls the extra $80/hr that follows if he pulls his drill out. I am pretty handy, I may not know what something is called specifically but I know how to use a tester and non contact detection wands. I just need some kind of guidance on what I can try now. It's not even about the light anymore I just went to have everything correct so I don't inadvertently burn my house down. They would completely suck so any help would be most appreciated. I apologize for my long post I wanted to make sure I described my issue thoroughly. Thanks in advance.