SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS NUMEROLOGY DECODE

Since we all know exactly who and what Spongebob is, I am going to do a Numerology decode.
When it comes to Numerology, there are many different things you can look into. I am going to look into the letters, patterns, and Numerology personality numbers.
SPONGEBOB has a personality #6. 6 is the number of compassion, work ethic, criticism, cleanliness, and productivity. In the funny show, we see that Spongebob is a workaholic. He has a 5 destiny number which shapes who you are overall. 5 is connected to youthfulness which explains the silliness of the Spongebob character. He is always laughing and doing things funny. The 5 energy indicates this. 5 also points to people, places, and things that are unique. He has an 8 soul urge which explains his undying ambition and creativity.
We can see that SPONGEBOB has 2 O's which has the numeric energy of 15 and numeric value of 6. 15 is the creative use of energy for productivity. Again, 6 is the number of routine, work ethic and productivity goes with this. This energy is not only his personality number, but also it is within his name. It's really in him.
SPONGEBOB HAS DOUBLE NUMERIC VALUES IN HIS NAME WHICH ARE, 7,6,5, AND 2. This explains why he is able to show his emotions and have moments of sensitivity(2). Very compassionate(2) but also childish and silly(5) and able to come up with plans that work(7). Since these #s has double influence, we must considered what they equal. 7 twice equals 14/5 which shows how he is responsible and can make work fun even though it is a duty(6). 6 twice equals 12/3 which shows his social skills, life, and creativity. Another youthful energy as well. 5 twice equals 10/1 which points to his bravery and capability to take action. 2 twice equals 4 which is home,family,responsibility, and structure on the home front and he would make everyone feel comfortable for the most part.
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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/lolfuckno.
This post was originally posted to weddingshaming.
There was already a BoRU post by u/autochthonouschimera, which didn't include the last update yet.
TRIGGER WARNING: cheating, child neglect, extreme entitledness, talk of abortion
MOOD SPOILERS: infuriating, confusing, frustrating
The new update at the bottom of this post has been marked with --- ---
Original story was posted on December 7, 2021
Okay, so this girl I know from high school is getting married. We're both 22, for reference. In our senior year of high school she got pregnant, with baby daddy A who will be referred to as Adam. Her super conservative parents kicked her out and she ended up moving in with a friend's family. She barely graduated high school. The only reason she did were because of the generosity and support of our teachers and students who volunteered to help her, which is how we met. We were in the same law class in the morning and she had the worst morning sickness that really affected her ability to be in class. So, I took extra notes for her, tutored her, and brought her her stuff if she hadn't come back by the bell. I wasn't the only one who did stuff like this for her and I know she really appreciates all the assistance we gave her. She had the baby a month after we graduated.
She'd signed up for a 911 dispatcher course for after high school because where we live it's a good steady job, with opportunity for certificates and promotions. But she didn't realize how intensive the course would be and had to drop out. She started working at a grocery store bakery, just until she had a better plan. Adam started an apprenticeship while working part time at a hockey rink, and proposed to her literally the day of her eighteenth birthday, and brought up marriage because "it's the right thing to do" (I don't really agree with that but this isn't about me) and she was always refusing.
She started cheating on him after a while (we're all 19 now), and eventually leaves him for another guy because... She's pregnant again and it is far more likely that this guy, baby daddy B who will be referred to as Brad, is the father of the child. Neither of them can afford lawyers so getting any kind of custody agreement is a mess, and then their parents got involved and they did 50/50 split (still not made official). She has the baby, that does turn out to be Brad's, and everything is okay for about nine months, when she finds out Brad has been cheating on her with his TA. Brad decides to pay child support but doesn't really want contact with the kid, only around holidays and one weekend a month for his parents' sake.
She moves back in with her parents (we're all 20 now) who only accept her back because there's grandchildren around. On the plus side, (when she's 21) she gets to take that year long dispatcher course, and passes with flying colours!
After working as a dispatcher for a year (we're all 22 now) she meets a police officer we'll call Chad, who's 26 and married... And Adam's second (?) cousin (I can't remember how they're related, just that Adam and Chad are related somewhat distantly). She has an affair with him (infidelity is super common among cops apparently). She gets knocked up, his wife divorces him, Chad proposes because "it's the right thing to do", she accepts, and her parents kick her out again for being a [insert expletive here], she moves in with Chad with her two kids. They've started planning the wedding, which... Given the background is something akin to a dumpster fire. Adam is LIVID. He was desperately in love with this girl and hasn't really recovered from what she did to him, and while she rejected his proposals years ago, she's accepted one FROM HIS COUSIN WHO PROPSED FOR THE SAME REASON HE DID.
Adam has basically made a call for loyalty in the family, dividing everyone one who should go, who should give money, etc plus they're having trouble planning anything because of COVID. Her parents have outright said that they're not going, along with half of her family, and her younger sister has been going around and sabotaging what plans they can make.
She has asked me to be a bridesmaid, I said that I couldn't because I live in a different province now, but the truth is, I do not want to be wrapped up in that clusterfuck in any way . I'm just watching the arguments and events unfold on social media because this is quite honestly the most entertaining thing I've seen all year. It's weird to me that she even asked because we're not friends, we never have been. We were friendly strangers in high school, I just helped her out for one class because she needed help and I could give it to her. I was just being nice. But based on how she turned out I'm just sad for her. Three kids in four years, and she's alienated so much of her friends and family because if her actions, and I'm torn between feeling sorry for her and putting my head in my hands.
EDIT 1:
First off, all of your comments are hilarious. Second, I'm going to answer some of the common questions.
We're from a city with over 400,000 thousand people, she just comes from the neighbourhood that is made of either bible thumpers or white trash, with no in between. But the high school we went to was in a completely different neighbourhood than that.
Our school had a pretty good sex Ed course, and they gave out free condoms and had resources to help girls get birth control, and they had programs in place for if students ever got pregnant/were going to be teen parents (they also had one of those classes with the dolls for girls who were high risk at teen pregnancy but she wasn't high risk so she wasn't in that class) I don't if BC just didn't work for her, or if she never tried it.
She started alienating her friends after the affair with Chad came out, because people weren't exactly jumping for joy that she'd broken up a marriage (Chad and his ex didn't have any kids, thankfully, so there were less obstacles). When people weren't immediately ecstatic for her she started getting very snippy, rude, and was "calling the bitches out" on social media for not supporting her new relationship or pregnancy. (Tbh I'm really worried about her health because having this many babies so close together is just not good for her health, mental or physical.) People are also worried that Chad will cheat on her "if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you" and think she should avoid marrying him so that she can just leave him if it happens.
I'll give you updates as they come out, but so far it's just a lot of yelling on social media (mostly from her), some relatives slut shaming her, and people who are just really worried about her because, as funny as this is, this doesn't seem like healthy behaviour.
EDIT 2:
First off, I realized I never gave this girl a name. For the sake of clarity we'll call her Beth. I realize that I didn't mention this before, but all of these are fake names.
Second, to everyone commenting that Chad is at fault for his marriage breaking up, believe me I'm well aware of that. It is his ex wife and her family/friends who solely blame Beth. Chad is also older than her and has more life experience, so I do believe that he could potentially be taking advantage of her naivete. However, she is also an adult who is capable of making her own decisions and has chosen to make poor ones in the past.
Third, people who are upset that I'm posting this story here, claiming I'm humiliating her. She has been posting about this mess on every social media platform she has since they got engaged in July. She put this out there long before I did except she did so in front of friends, family, employers, and coworkers, as well as internet randos.
Fourth, despite getting engaged in July and attempting to start planning then, I was only asked to be a bridesmaid three days ago. I knew that there was a mess going on but I didn't really pay attention to it until she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I tried to ask what was going on, I said that she should talk to someone, but when she completely brushed me off I checked her FB and Instagram and found out about all of... This.
Fifth, I realized that I didn't really talk about how disastrous the wedding planning has been going, see here you go:

• they've had to rebook three times because venues and vendors kept cancelling when infection numbers got worse even thought their wedding was months away
• Beth has been flipping between having the wedding while she's pregnant saying she's proud of her bump, and wanting to wait until they're born because she feels fat, which is unfortunate because she's been breaking down due her insecurity on a public platform
• Beth is currently seven months pregnant
• Beth's great aunt was going to give her her wedding dress to wear (after she gives birth) but Beth's mom freaked and stole the dress from said aunt before Beth could get it and is now keeping it, the great aunt says she's too old to get in a fight and has shrugged it off
• Chad's immediate family is paying for the wedding and has been cut off by the rest of their extended family for 'choosing Chad'
• Beth's wedding colours are pink and green, which is usually a nice combo but the specific shades don't go great together, they're her and Chad's favourite colours, which is fine but she literally made a video talking about these colours for 14 minutes on her insta and both of her kids are just full on bawling in the background and she's ignoring them and she's gotten some flack for that
• Adam is finally settled into his trade and has now hired a lawyer and is trying to get primary custody and not allow his daughter to go to the wedding
• she's planning a zoom baby showebachelorette party and has sent out a registry and she's asking for crazy expensive things
• she's also set up a go fund me to help pay for a honeymoon and is making a lot of posts about how no one loves her cause the fund only has $1267 of the $20k she wanted

I'll update when I can but I'm still in school and while I do want to help her, she's refused help offered in the past and there's only so much of this I can take mentally right now.
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UPDATE:
Hey everyone, so some stuff has gone down, and it doesn't look like it's over yet. Sorry, I didn't update sooner, but Rona came back with a vengeance and totally messed up plans with uni and family. Anyway, onto the update.
From the last update - 16th - Lots of ranting and chaotic wedding planning on social media, she found a dress and has decided she will get married while pregnant, they found a local wedding venue that is very lovely, but I'm shocked she's still trying to book stuff with all of their previous venue cancellations.
December 16th - Her little sister unblocked her to call her a s*ut and tell her that all her wedding plans were stupid. This resulted in a petty and entertaining facebook war until the little sis blocked her again on the 17th.
December 18th - Beth went nuts on social media because Adam had "kidnapped" their daughter, what really happened is that because courts are moving at a snail's pace due to COVID and Adam had reason to believe that their daughter was not safe living with Beth he decided to just... Not give her back. They don't have a custody agreement, and when Beth tried to call the cops they couldn't do anything because he was kinda right. There were dozens of videos on her various social media accounts of her ignoring their daughter, yelling at her daughter for crying or doing other things that toddlers do, it turns out that everything she needed was bought by Adam, food, diapers, clothes, toys, daycare (while it was open) etc. on top of the unofficial child support he was paying every month (which turned out to be $500 a month, a number I find ridiculous because Adam was already paying for literally everything) because she refused to buy anything for her daughter and insisted it was Adam's responsibility. Additionally, after the immediate post-birth appointments, Beth never took baby A to a doctor's appointment, she always deferred that to Adam. Baby A's pediatrician has NEVER met Beth. Beth even tried to get Chad to push back or intimidate him or something, but the local police where we live are under one hell of a microscope after a bunch of dirty cops got busted a couple of years ago. Basically, the cops, and the social worker they ended up calling, ended up saying there was nothing she could do until they get to court. The social worker tried to get her to go to therapy and parenting classes, but Beth refused and went on a fifteen paragraph long rant on Facebook about how she doesn't need parenting classes or therapy (she really, really does though) and called the social worker some choice words.
December 19-24 - Just a bunch of ranting on social media, calling everyone who doesn't enable or justify her behaviour cuss words, slurs, and a whole bunch of other horribly creative things. Also, both she and Chad are under investigation at work now, but she has no idea why. I'm gonna take this time to remind everyone that 99% of this info is coming from her public social media pages where her coworkers are friends and place of employment is listed.
December 25 - I am officially embarrassed to know this woman. I didn't go on her FB page until the evening cause I didn't want to deal with drama, first thing in the morning, on Xmas. In the morning she put on a very beautiful blue maternity dress, got Chad in his police blues, and baby B in a purple romper, and then live-streamed her and her family going to the courthouse to get married on Christmas day. (According to her Twitter, part of this was because their newest venue cancelled on them after COVID numbers spiked) Overall, a pretty tacky thing in my opinion because she stated plain as day, several times, that she intended her wedding anniversary to eclipse Christmas for her children because it's just "so much more special, you know?" (I am so glad that Baby B's grandparents are filing for guardianship) But here's the thing... The courthouse isn't open. Because of COVID for one thing, but also because it's Xmas and Canada has a predominantly Christian history. She proceeded to have a full meltdown, and when Baby B cried because, y'know, the kid's mom was screaming up a storm and scaring her, Beth called her a c*nt. Yup. So done with this bitch.
December 28 - I ran into her at a vaccine clinic cause we were both getting our booster shots. She didn't recognize me at first but one of my old bosses (cause I used to work at the hospital the vaccine clinic was in) called my name and said hi, so she came up to me after my old boss had left. We talked a bit while we sat down for the mandatory waiting period after getting the shot. She asked how I was but didn't even wait for me to respond before she started ranting and complaining about her life. I was just going to sit there until the time was up and then just politely make my exit, but when she started talking shit about her kids something inside me snapped. I just said "Do you even like your kids? Do you like being a mom?" She got pretty quiet for a second and then said "no". Idk, her voice and demeanour completely changed and we just sat in silence until our time was up. I said goodbye but it was really awkward.
December 31st (today) - I just looked at her feed and, this is such a shocking what-the-actual-f*** moment. She's thinking about giving up her kids. She went on about how recently she was asked if she liked her kids or being a mom, and how she realized that she didn't. She hates her children and blames them for ruining her life, and how she doesn't want to be a mom. I mean, nothing is official yet, but what the hell?!
I'll update as stuff happens now that I have the time, but this whole thing has been a big giant mess. Also, sorry for any formatting or grammatical errors, I'm not used to using Reddit on my PC.
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UPDATE
Okay, so, some stuff has happened and most of it's good? Also, the TL:DR for this update will be at the bottom
Jan 4th - Beth (and Chad) stopped posting on all social media. I was actually a little worried she died, I mean this woman posts everything short of her trips to the bathroom on IG.
Oddly enough, this got people messaging or interacting with her social media pages because she was usually the one to start contact, and that contact was usually yelling. No one heard from them and some people started to be like "should we call the cops for a wellness check?" Until Chad posted a status saying that they're fine but are "busy, please stop trying to contact us right now". Everyone listened but it was weird.
Jan 11 - I got a notification that Beth and Chad are active on social media again, but I didn't feel like drama so I didn't check out any of their posts.
Jan 12 (today) - she messaged me on FB asking me to be her MOH. She also kept going on about the resort in Cancun that she and Chad were looking to have their wedding at... This coming February. Omnicrom is really bad where we are, so no one should be travelling anywhere. I've actually had to delay my trip back to the province where I go to university. No one should be travelling anywhere.
Beth also found out that Chad was cheating on her with one of her co-workers and called the woman a "homewrecker" on FB tagged her, and posted the texts she found on Chad's phone. But Chad is the "love of her life" so she's forgiven him, but not the other woman. Which I find very hypocritical, considering how she and Chad got together.
She also sent pics of possible bridesmaid dresses and they are the most hideous dresses I've ever seen. I know that some brides do that thing where they want to look a million times better by comparison but this was just ridiculous. One of them looked like a partially deflated balloon with feathers strapped to it. She also openly admitted that she expected everyone attending to pay 3k, 2k would go towards that guest's stay at the resort and 1k would go to her and Chad and they will expected wedding gifts, so that they could get their room for free. Apparently, she talked to someone at the resort and if she got enough people to book their rooms she and Chad would get theirs for free. She also wanted the money to be given to her instead of directly to the hotel so that people wouldn't realize that she was taking 1k of their money. Beth sent me a pic of the wedding dress she wanted, and it's definitely a clubbing dress. If that's what she wants that's fine (and for the record I do think she would look great in it, Beth's (current) dream wedding dress ) but she wants all the guests to be dressed black tie. And she's already sent a list of unreasonable requests. Such as;

• all women must wear heels (for a wedding in the beach???)
• no one is allowed to have a baby or be pregnant (really?)
• girls must have longer than shoulder length hair, boys must have very short hair, only and inch or two long
• no one is allowed to be skinnier than her
• she will be providing diets for everyone attending based on how she wants us to look
• she and Chad must get bachelor and bachelorette parties both in Canada and in Mexico that need to be "fit for a king and queen" and both must be paid for but anyone but the bride and groom "cause that's just tacky"
• no unnatural hair
• no tattoos (you have five tattoos, Beth, and in the dress you want all will be on full display)
• no one is allowed to talk to her directly, they must speak through the MOH and BM

Honestly there's a lot more but I didn't feel like typing all that out. She's posted the list on FB and IG and people are already calling her a bridezilla.
I was also just kinda weirded out because aside from the previous convo at the hospital and when she originally asked me to be a bridesmaid, we haven't spoken since high school. So I respectfully declined, stating that the virus and school were my top concerns right now. Then, I decided to check her socials to see if she'd posted anything. She had and everything was basically how it was before the hiatus... Except her kids are nowhere to be found. No "look at my cute baby" pics are kids crying in the background of her videos. Nothing. Though, based on her new pics of herself, she's given birth to baby C. I mean, she's definitely still recovering, but she also definitely had a baby and that baby is not on any of her socials, so when she responded to my decline with an attempt at guilting me to be her MOH, I asked her where her kids were. This was her response.
"Oh, I left them at the side of the road in our way home from the hospital those moochers could walk home lol"
I was like, please tell me you're not being serious (especially cause it looks like she had the baby days ago). And she replied "I was just joking you shouldn't be so serious all the time". Honey, you made a joke about child abandonment/abuse, you're not being serious enough. And then I finally got the update on the kids.

• Baby A is still with Adam, Beth signed away her rights
• Baby B and Baby C have been given to a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad who is infertile (tbh I didn't need that last tidbit of info or the three paragraph long rant about how God hates infertile women, I didn't even read all of it, I couldn't, and I didn't think that Beth could be so cruel to even think those things). I checked out the FB page of Baby B's grandparents and they're happy with their grandchild's new parents, it looks like the cousin and her husband and welcoming them to the family as another set of grandparents and will let them have access to B. So yay!
• One thing I do need to stress though is that because of COVID the courts in our areas are either moving at a snail's pace or closed, so none of this is "official" but Beth (and Chad) has signed paperwork and all that needs to happen now is presenting that to a judge.

And when I rejoined our convo she said the doc she had for baby C gave her brith control, and she was surprised cause after her first pregnancy she asked her doctor for it but he refused to give her any. She mentioned that her old doctor was also her mom's and sister's doctor, she ended up asking the doc who delivered baby C to be her new doctor, so I hope that works out.
After learning all this my convo with Beth started to go down hill...
Beth: wait, did you actually think I would just leave my kids at the side of the road! I just didn't want to be a mom, but I wasn't a bad one
Me: Beth, I think that you've been through a lot of trauma in the past few years, and that it's gotten to you mentally and that you should speak to a professional.
(Of course, Beth has been a bad mom, but she does need mental health help and I wasn't going to convince her to get it, or to not tell at me, if I said that )
Beth: what? You think I'm crazy?!
Me: no. I think that getting kicked out as a teen because of a pregnancy and having your family actively reject you and try to sabotage you must have been very painful. Plus, pregnancy puts a lot of mental stress on women and you've had three in such a short time span, I just want you to take care of yourself and get what you want in life, and I think that will start with you taking care of your mental health.
Beth: what I want... IS FOR YOU TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL! Beth then calls me every cuss word, expletive, and derogatory word she can think of one of the words she called me was a derogatory word about people from my ethnicity and my blood is boiling that she thought it was okay to say that to me.
So, I'm now on her hit list. She's been blowing up my social media all day, on her last FB post where she called me a slur she said that she still expects a good wedding gift from me. Yeah, no. So I've blocked her on everything, and I've decided to completely cut off contact. This will be my last update.
TL:DR - Beth went on a social media blackout for a bit, had baby C. Gave up all her kids, baby A is still with Adam, Baby B and Baby C are with a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad and baby B's grandparents have access. Chad cheated on her and she forgave him, but she probably shouldn't have. She's decided to have her wedding in a little over a month in Cancun and is expecting unreasonable things of everyone already. She asked me to be MOH I respectfully declined. I also suggested that she talk to a mental health professional because she's been through a lot in the last few years and she cussed me out, she also called me a derogatory name directed at people of my ethnicity and that was the final nail in the coffin. I'm now on her hit list. But her kids are safe and I have no interest in going to wedding so I'm cutting contact completely and have already blocked her on all my socials. I'm refusing to be involved with her anymore and will not be updating on the situation.
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--- EDIT - NEW UPDATE --- - JANUARY 25, 2023 - TL:DR AT THE BOTTOM
Hi, everyone, I didn't think I would be making another update, but here I am. I don't know if anyone will even care but whatever. I saw a YouTuber, Charlotte Dobre, do an entire video about this post on Facebook (which was funny, she did it well), [editor's note: here's the video in question and also: check out Charlotte Dobre's subreddit !] and got so nervous that Beth was gonna see it. Turned out, she's seen it and does not give a single damn, because as I pointed out, the majority of the info in this post came from her public social media. She also doesn't know who posted it (more on that in the update). I am still no contact with Beth and have no plans to change that anytime soon, but we have mutual friends who have told and shown me what's happened.
First things first, she and Chad did get married, but they eloped. According to all sources they are completely and utterly miserable though. Chad has proven to be and overall lazy and unfaithful husband, and Beth has really gotten into feminism (with a focus on reproductive issues) after she started using birth control, and Roe v Wade getting overturned (even though we're in Canada) really caused tension in their marriage. As it turns out, Chad thinks that abortion is murder and God created women for the purpose of making babies.
Beth tried to argue that not all women want or should be mothers using herself as an example, and then Chad went ahead and used her as an example of why women should be forced to have kids, because in the end she gave kids to an infertile couple. She didn't take that well and said that her entire life and future was ripped away from her and destroyed the second she got pregnant with baby A. Adam was never slut shamed or demeaned like she was, both at home and at school (which is a fair point, myself and many others were helpful and supportive but there were a lot of people who judged the hell out of her and said really nasty stuff) and that if she hadn't gotten pregnant she would've gone to college or university because she lost the general and financial support of her family with that positive pregnancy test. Chad has made a Tinder account. Beth was informed but it doesn't seem like she gave a damn.
So basically you could cut the tension with a knife.
And with her family, her sister came out as gay and cut off/has been cut off from their parents. But she's got a partial scholarship so she's doing okay. She and Beth are NOT on good terms but have met up and acknowledged that their parents messed them up by being religious nuts and their parents encouraged them to be competitive with each other and sabotage each other. Apparently their dad's motto is "competition brings out the best in everyone" (ugh). But they've talked and that's good enough for now.
Neither Beth nor Chad have custody or visitation of their children, which Chad is starting to regret because he's suddenly getting more and more into the church and religion. Chad talked to Beth about getting baby C back but Beth shut that down hard and warned the cousin who adopted baby C (officially and legally btw).
Beth started going to therapy after she and Chad got married, which makes me very happy and excited for her.
There was a rumour going around that Chad has a mistress and it took me a while to confirm, but it's true. He's cheating on her with a paramedic and she knows. Beth is fully aware. Idk if she plans to do anything about it or just continue to ignore it, but I hope she leaves his ass. I'm still not gonna talk to her, she crossed so many lines, but she's grown and improved a lot and her life would be a lot better without that sac of scum in her life.
Now, I have given a few details in my post that should've revealed my identity to her, namely her asking me to be her MOH. I have found out that she actually asked around 15 girls (including myself) to be her MOH, without telling any of us about the others because she was trying to get money from all of us and because her mental health has just been very bad and she needed help. And of those 15, 8 have been going to school out of province and of those eight we all had basically the same classes in high school. And apparently doesn't remember our discussion at the vaccination clinic and had major blow up with everyone she asked to be MOH. So she knows it's one of 8 people and reportedly has no interest in trying to narrow that number down. (Chad did the same thing with his groomsmen, but idk any of the numbers)
TL:DR Beth and Chad got married (eloped), are miserable, have zero custody or visitation with any of their children, Chad's cheating and Beth doesn't appear to care, Chad is super sexist, Beth is a feminist now, Beth's sister is gay and they've talked but not reconciled, Beth asked too many girls to be MOH for money and doesn't know the ID of who made this post.
Dear "Beth", if this post gets forwarded to you or somehow graces your phone screen, leave Chad. He's trash and you'll be much better without him in your life. And though I'm not willing to talk to you again because of your words and actions, I do wish for you to have a wonderful and happy life.
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Please remember the NO BRIGADING RULE: do not comment on the original posts linked in BoRUs, see Rule 7. Doing so can result into a permanent ban from this sub and the other linked sub(s).
I'm not the OOP!

Years ago, end of 2020 and very early 2021, I (at the time 19M) became friends with a guy (at the time 26M) through an online server we were in together. After chatting a little, we eventually formed a rapport where we’d text daily and throw jokes at each other. After some time, I started forming a crush on him, which I didn’t entertain because I felt like there was no chance it would come to anything good - he’d constantly make jokes sexualizing me and talking about my (very lacking) sex life, but he clarified once that it was all jokes. He was, in general, much more “active” than I am and would always toss around comments about how many guys he slept with and how good he was at laying pipe or whatever.
He still continued to make jokes sexualizing me, and in-between our dynamic, we had a lot of moments of genuine connection. We texted daily for a really long time and most nights a week, we would send each other “good morning” and “goodnight” messages. He’d ask for me to stream video games for him because he liked watching me play them, he even started buying and gifting me scary video games for me to play since he knew I was a fan of the horror genre. We would watch movies and shows together and have long, long phonecalls into the morning hours since we had a few hours timezone difference. I gave him ideas for planning for his friend’s Vegas bachelors party, and my recommendation actually made it in. I draw for fun and he’d always ask about what I was making and he’d practically beg me to show him if I ever let on that I was working on something. When I was going through the grief of a passed family member, he was there for me and made it clear that he wanted to keep me company so I could feel better.
He worked out and he would sometimes send me photos of him shirtless in the mirror, or sweaty after a session. I’d never really know what to say so I just tried to be supportive.
At the start of summer 2022, I confessed my feelings to him out of a desperate attempt to get the weight that was crushing me off of my chest. I wasn’t expecting anything and I made sure to clarify it - he was kind in his response but something I keep remembering is that he never actually said that he didn’t like me back or not. I don’t know why that stuck out to me.
A month later, he “admitted” to me on a late night phone call that he “didn’t think he was actually gay” and that I was the first person he ever admitted it to. I silently stared at the ceiling and cried. He had only ever told me stories and jokes and comments about how he’d have sex with men. He’d never told me a single moment about having sex or real interest in a woman. He told me that he didn’t feel any emotional connection with any man. His jokes sexualizing me on and off continued. Part of these jokes were how my want for a romantic relationship and my want for safety and affection were somehow more “explicit” than him having sex with people.
We got closer that summer than we had before. We called each other more, we watched movies more often, and he insisted on us marathoning Cowboy Bebop together because it was his favorite anime. I caught COVID for the first time in August due to my fuckhead relatives not telling me that someone had it during a wedding, and I was bedridden for a week. He kept me company for so much time - nearly streaming video games for me every night. I’d hobble downstairs after everyone had left the area so we could play Fall Guys together, and even when he teased me he was kind because every time I tried speaking more than a sentence I would break into nonstop bouts of coughing. He’d wanted to do a DND campaign for me where I would be the only player, and that we’d have fun together where I could play in a sandbox world he’d create for me himself.
After that summer there was suddenly this distance. I’d reach out to ask to watch movies but he was more busy. The streams stopped being regular and he stopped asking for them. The good morning and goodnight messages stopped and the conversations dried up into five-message exchanges where I’d try to engage him but they’d eventually peter out from his end. He started just sending me Twitter memes without any real comments, or the comments he did send were bland and basic jokes.
My father was admitted to the hospital for sudden complications that nearly killed him and I realized I didn’t tell my friend. That was the first nail in the coffin for some reason. Even though he was kind, he wasn’t good at using comforting words - he knew how to comfort me through trying to make me smile and laugh. I didnt tell him and I still don’t fully know why. The distance became more apparent when summer 2023 came and went because I was excited for it. I was hoping we would be able to do stuff and more, but we didn’t. I could have asked him but for some reason I felt like I couldn’t - he was the one that usually asked in the first place. Our text conversations were reduced to him sending me memes on Twitter and he’d turn down my requests to watch movies, even if I asked because I needed the company after a bad day. Out of the blue, one day, he texted me that one of his dogs died. I’d seen photos of his dogs near-daily for years and this sudden revelation shocked me because of how it was just dropped on me out of nowhere - months of this emotional distance suddenly precluding this bombshell announcement. It really upset me and I tried offering comfort but he just brushed it off again when I tried.
At one point I stopped answering his messages because I wanted to see what would happen if I ignored them. The guilt went away for some reason - it vanished and I felt like I was free from the shackles of the situation and like I could breathe in the fresh air. I accidentally messed up though, and after five days of not answering him he chirped and asked how was I, and I broke down. I blocked him before unblocking him a few hours later to confess to him that I was completely melting and that I couldn’t be his friend anymore. I blamed my reaction on myself and my inability to tackle my own emotions, but everyone I’ve explained this to and shown conversations to say that he was emotionally toying with me, even if he didn’t actively realize it.
I explained everything as best as I could through my tears and then told him goodbye. After a few months I wrote a detailed Google doc explaining everything as best as I could and I sent it to him through a social media profile of his that I suspect is dead and inactive now.
I miss him. I miss him so fucking much. I miss his nose and his laugh and his stupid stiff awkward smile and I hate that I ever loved him and that I think I still love him now. Being around him wasn’t good for me but I want him back so badly - I want to go running back to him begging for his forgiveness because I still feel like all of this is my fault. I feel like I pushed through a boundary but the more I look at the big picture I wonder if that boundary was ever really there. He’d make jokes about having sex with me to mutual friends but never having a relationship - hed joke that my need for comfort and emotional vulnerability was because I was a “bottom” and it’s just normal “bottom things”. I miss him so much and I want to contact him again even though everything in me is screaming that that is not the right direction. I see when he’s on Steam sometimes because we’re still friends on that platform and I can’t bring myself to unfriended him even though I unmerged our game libraries.
I miss him. I miss him so so much and I wish he could tell me that everything’s going to be ok, but I think him shoving himself back into the closet broke something so deeply about how I see him that I can’t trust his words anymore.

made this for my narrative essay in american literature, but one of my friends said i should share the story
“But I Still Need You” Throughout my life, I had always fallen easy for girls. The elementary mindset of, “she’s cute, so I have a crush on her,” prevented me from developing a legitimate relationship with any girl I tried to talk to. The few times that my feelings were reciprocated, I had no idea because I was already on to the next girl, and this continued until I was left with a multitude of friend-zone situations and a list of “crushes.” My charisma already lacking, it seemed each year that passed, previous to 3rd grade, I grew in weight and therefore awkwardness. The struggle to interact with women lessened as I grew up, while the fat remained. So, by the 8th grade I was the ideal guy friend; easy to talk to, kinda funny, understanding, and unintimidating. My approachable “funny fat friend” nature had its ups and downs. While guys, for reasons I still don’t fully understand, suspected me to be gay, girls found it intriguing and it made them want to be friends with me more. Back then I didn’t know, but now I know that by being forced to be friends first, after finding out I was in fact not gay, the right woman for me would want to be with me for my personality. In the winter of 2021, I fell hard for a girl named Madeline. Maddie was no different than many of the other girls in that she had a bland personality and I thought she was cute. She had brunette hair with bangs, big glasses, way too much makeup on, and a unique fashion sense. Her sense of fashion was one of the few interesting things about her, yet it was disregarded by the public. Not too many guys found her appealing, but I did, for whatever reason. I was dead set on getting to know her better in hope of becoming more than friends. Unfortunately, she hardly paid attention to me, but I didn’t give up. I merely slowed down because of my interest in her friend, Isabella. Isabella is the Spanish and Italian variation of Elizabeth (derived from the Hebrew name Elisheba). The meaning of Elishiba can be translated to, “God is my oath.” In Arabic, the beginning of Isabella, “Isa,” is the classical Arabic name for Jesus, while in the French language, the shortened version of Isabella, “Belle,” translates to “beautiful.” I had met Isabella in the sixth grade, and grew a tiny crush on her, in the elementary sense, before we all went into hibernation (COVID). I barely knew her though, and she had no idea who I was, so when we interacted in my last two classes, if we did at all, it was like two strangers who kept running into each other. I sat by her in my sixth period, and one seat up and to the right from her in seventh. We only ever made small talk and the occasional joke, but when I spoke with her I felt content. Still barely knowing her, all I could admire was the little things in the way she laughed and spoke. I longed to know more about Isabella, she was mature, intelligent, and very opinionated, but still light-hearted and made time pass at the speed of light. It wasn’t until she was in my group in sixth period one day that she began to open up a little by sharing the details of her current long-distance relationship. The shards of my heart stabbed and crushed my stomach; hope, the oxygen to my mind, depleted faster than the air of a broken space shuttle; palpitation, nausea, asphyxia, and neurosis bombarded me like Persian arrows on the Greeks. Then, all at once, the excruciating tidal wave evaporated, but instead of calm waters, I was left with a drought. Every emotion muted or gone, my body went numb while everything I cared for vanished from my mind. I didn’t speak throughout the rest of that day, and went directly from the bus to decaying in my bed. I was devastated, so I retreated to my pointless crush on Maddie. Unrelated to the rather sad lovelife, my anxiety and depression worsened throughout 8th grade, and while I was going to therapy, most of my issues wouldn’t and still haven’t been worked through. Throughout the school year I had developed a toxic system of self pity, in which I would spend hours a day cycling through the feelings of hope, anger, and despair- never that of joy. I knew what I was doing, gathering enough hope to face the school day just before I reflected on the doubts and grievances going on throughout my life. I’d bring myself up just for a greater fall because honestly, overtime I became numb to the natural pain. If I were going to fall into the pit that is depression, the higher I peaked in terms of optimism the more excruciating the freefall of nausea and the heavy flow of salt water. At that point in my life, I saw no point in getting out of bed to do anything, school or even my own mother’s birthday. By the end of eighth grade I had spent almost a total of six weeks absent, two of which were from me being quarantined. Typically over the span of one or two days, others up to four, I would be in my bed “sick.” During these mini-vacations I would sleep all morning, if my mom let me, and stay up all night, oftentimes listening to Radiohead or Cigarettes After Sex while staring at my ceiling. I wanted to stay up, I wanted to feel the bags grabbing and pulling towards my cheekbone, I wanted to feel empty, emotionally and physically. During the day, my anxiety attacks became panic attacks and I would get sent home for vomiting. I'd throw up to give Mom a reason to let me stay home. I’d throw up to feel something, anything. I’d throw up to keep my stomach empty. I’d throw up because I had to, because the nerves and overthinking forced me to. Every morning, I’d drag my black air force ones across cement, carpet, tiles, and marble, each step leading towards Mrs. Clements’ homeroom. For every step, a different worry or insecurity flashed through my brain. But then, out of the blue, I’m “Lincoln” again. I walk into homeroom with an ear-to-ear grin and dap up “the boys”. I’d spend the morning building up hopes of making Isabella laugh today, or maybe calling her once I got home, but I knew that nine times out of ten my hopes were delusional. To “Lincoln,” this was no problem, he would make a gay joke, join the boys with teasing a cute girl in my class, and laugh until just for a moment, the despair was gone. Finally, the sixth period would come and I’d get to see Isabella. In here I got the least work done out of all my classes as I would find myself strategically planning my next interaction with her, just for said plans to go out the window when I was brought face to face with her. Typically seventh period followed the same pattern except Ms. Shirley Davis could never allow small talk in her classroom. When the last bell rang, I went straight to the buses. I’d sleep on the way home, dreaming of a call that would hardly happen. On the off chance my phone didn’t reach its feared 11th cry, we’d talk for hours at a time. On a weekday or not, it seemed that, when we did call, it was guaranteed to go into the early morning. It’s hard to put my finger on a specific topic, or even general. In our conversations, we discussed anything and everything. Everything, except her own love interest. I admired this, as my inability to keep who I’m thinking about at the time a secret is a major flaw of mine. The more that me and her spoke, the more I grew to love her. Our talks were so honest, so raw, that the secret I held began to eat away at me. My core collapsing like a dying star, each day it felt like the pain got worse. To cope with the feelings I had buried deep inside me, I’d turn to my friends. At first, they said to come forward with my feelings, but I knew that’s what any friend would’ve said. The relief I got from venting the conflicting hurricane within me was brief. Overtime, their words of encouragement turned to annoyance, and understandably so. When people grew sick of the same old sadistic untold love, I turned to Isabella. I wrote a text so full that, to read it, one needed to tap on an arrow at the bottom right corner of my message. The essay was compiled with the confliction I had, developing feelings for a friend, and the sorrow that filled me each day that passed without her. I described the perfect imperfections that I admired about her, how life was complete when I spoke to her, the beauty that paralyzed me every time I saw her in person, and the character that I felt God had curated specifically for me. Sitting there unsure if I should press send, a fear grew within my chest that Isabella would see right through me. I could hear the music that so often triggered tears; the vocals of Thom Yorke or the beats of Kanye West, they faded in and out. What if she didn’t even respond? What if she thought I was a creep? What if- then she responded. Suddenly, the ominous 808s & Heartbreak pounding vanished, my respiratory chaos became paralyzed, and time stood still. I couldn’t breathe until I finished reading, and once I did, my sigh was all but relieving. Isabella explained to me how unhealthy my habits were; even in comparison to the anguish that would follow, I’d suffer far more and far longer should I suppress my emotions. She told me how that level of affection, in the context of the warped concept of romance most men had, was something she had only dreamt of. Isabella said that holding these feelings would eat away at me, exponentially increasing in severity, until I broke. Not only would I be hurting myself, but I would be depriving the person I care about most from the appreciation they deserve. I became bloated with fear of the friendzone, those insecurities, all based upon inference, became a reality with Isabella’s last piece of advice. She said, “If she doesn’t reciprocate those emotions, then don’t worry. I’m sure there’s a girl out there who can appreciate your compassion.” The blame had no other place to go than my shoulders, after all, I got what I asked for, advice on another girl. Isabella, even if she saw the crush I had on her, is far too kind to address it. She cared for everyone, and to her, she was merely boosting up a friend who’s down. For the rest of the night her text echoed through my mind; pain, regret, and admiration caused my mind to sporadically leap from conclusion to conclusion. Two years later, those words still haunt me, reiterations of that phrase torturing me when I least expect them. The school year progressed, but my aspirations with Isabella didn’t. Over time, the frequency of my writings grew to be weekly, at times reaching two a week, and the weight of my confessions depleted. I opened my audience to a mutual friend of Isabella’s, Miley, with the intention of acquiring useful advice. Eventually, my choice to try concealing what I felt for Isabella became too heavy of a burden, weighing down on me in forces I had not endured before. Soon, the love I had for Isabella turned to hatred for myself. I was relentlessly criticizing every aspect of myself and my mind. I hated how fat I was, my smile, my voice, my laugh, and most of all my personality. What I had thought was my greatest strength, was revealed as my worst trait. The gullibility I exhibited when thinking for a second Isabella could possibly like me; the lack of confidence that caused me to chicken out of confessing my feelings to her; my insufferable need to make people laugh; the hyperfixation I would develop for those that I love. Everything about me was wrong. I stopped eating, stopped sleeping, stopped caring, and eventually I stopped living. The “Lincoln” my friends had grown to recognize, the only remnant of the joy I felt when I was younger, died, and I was left with only my love for Isabella and resentment for myself. I began testing the limits of what was left of me, praying for relief. At first in the middle of the night, an anaconda would find its way to my throat, wrapping around my neck. Its cold black scales gracefully gliding across my skin before silencing my cries with the swift tug of its metallic USB head. The snake would maintain pressure until I let go of it, the entire time whispering into my ear, begging me to hold on. Some nights it came with what must have been a full stomach for it was drastically wider, it was brown these nights, with leather skin, and a slight warmth, but it behaved the same. Most visits from the snake ended with my vision blurry, my breath short, or my head dizzy. The only consistency of our transactions was Asia’s Death Lake that streamed down my face from start to finish. Eventually, the snake seemed closer and closer to silencing me forever, but I also became used to its visits. I began writing letters to everyone I loved so that, should the snake come out victorious, they’d have a final goodbye. Once I had sorted out my notes, I called the snake to my room. This time it came striped with shades of blue, its skin a soft fabric. For once, I controlled the snake, because our intentions finally aligned. I locked the door, sent out my texts, placed the written notes on my dresser, and joined the snake at my closet door. Holding onto the doorknob, the snake wrapped itself around my neck just as it had done in nights of the past. It whispered to me, “let go,” for I had been on my knees in hesitation. I followed the snake’s order by making a sort of plank with my body, the bottom half resting on a stack of dirty laundry and pillows while the top was supported by my elbows. Pressure swiftly fell down on my neck and didn’t stop. “This is it,” I thought to myself. My eyes seemed to pop out of my skull, and my tears, falling down like summer rain, became blurry dots as my vision went dark. Next thing I know, I’m waking up, snot, saliva, and tears strung between my face and the carpet floor. My head pounding and my eyes burning, I looked up at the “snake” that was the tie my mom had gotten me for Sunday service. Although my mind was more clear, it was not out of revelation, but from a muted sense of the world around me. Other than Isabella, nothing mattered anymore, and the little emotion I felt was squashed by my immortal love. The following day I get called to the counselors office on charges of suicidal thoughts and self harm. I said what I had to in order to escape her grasp, but left infuriated. Not only had my own friends betrayed me, but the lady who was supposed to guide me essentially scolded me for being sad. Throughout the day my anger faded out and my focus became making an excuse as to why my parents got a weird call from my counselor, then I’d find the traitor who sold me out. That afternoon, I lost two friends, and for the first time ever got mad at Isabella. Apparently, Miley, Maddie, and Isabella all reported me to the counselor that morning. They said I had been traumatizing them with what was going on in my life, being normal and messing around at school, then detailing my thoughts and actions to them outside of school. I felt like I had been tricked. I thought they were my friends. I thought they understood me. They asked me if I was okay, they said they wanted, cared, needed to know, but now I had scared them? I addressed what had happened with Miley first. She immediately lashed out at me, saying I should be thanking them, not be mad. While I didn’t want to accept it, I understood the core of her choices. On the other hand, Maddie’s response to my confrontation was disgustingly cruel. She said I had been unfair and just seeking attention, that no thirteen to fourteen year old should hear about what I was going through because it was unnatural. Before she continued, I apologized, that’s all I could think to do, because deep down I believed her. She told me it wasn’t all my fault because my brain was messed up, and that opening up to the girls would only make them not want to be friends with me. The one word that rang through my head then, and still does today, was “creep,” she claimed that what I felt wasn’t love, but I was just mentally unstable and creepy. Any remnants of the sweet kid from elementary school who just wanted a friend and loved everyone were obliterated. Maddie was right, all I had done was hurt and scare them, it didn’t matter what I thought. I told her all I could, that I didn’t know what to say other than I was sorry for the damage I had done, and I would try and get better. Her response, like a branding iron on my mind, was, “It’s not damage, it’s baggage. Imagine if the roles were reversed.” It was only then that I stopped texting back. I wish I could say it was out of frustration or self respect, but the reality of my manipulative traits is what silenced me. Shockingly, the response that hurt the most was from Isabella, yet it somehow meant the most to me too. Isabella told me that she needed me in the world. She told me that if I ever got those thoughts again, to think about her as well; to think about the pain I’d be causing her; to think about the trauma she’d live with for the rest of her life. After repeating the phrase, “I need you in my life,” she acknowledged how selfish it was, but still didn’t care. Isabella continued elaborating, she didn’t care because no label of selfishness outweighed the value of my life. What she said that night has been vivid in my mind since, but my only wish is that she had needed me as I needed her. Tears began to hide my freckled cheeks as I texted her about how much her words meant to me, how much she meant to me, and I apologized to her. I said sorry for the baggage I caused, the “creepy” behavior, and any other ways I had wronged her. I said sorry for loving her, and told her I’d do better. She disregarded my apologies, telling me that I could always talk to her because no matter the baggage she could carry, it’d be worth taking the smallest bit off of me. Her words meant so much to me, yet hurt me just the same. I hated myself for it. I couldn’t see a life without an affection for her, it was pathetic. If I truly loved her, I’d let my feelings go, right? What kind of person did that make me? Summer came and went. Hoping that time would kill the crush I had on Isabella, I prohibited myself from contacting her. Instead I spent time with my family and a few friends, but Isabella never left my head. Even when accompanying my dad to Berry College for the Governor’s Honors Program, she’s what filled my head. At first I felt frustrated because before I had come forward to her, she had known about the feelings I had. I came to the conclusion that she had been dragging me along, but even then I knew how easily that thought would be abandoned. First day of High school, I got in touch with her. For maybe two weeks, I maintained a platonic relationship before free falling into the ominous pit once again. This time felt different though, it felt like what I had thought about everyday, for what seemed eternity, could be more than a daydream. We texted each other throughout the school day and facetimed after her cheer practice and my band practice. Eventually, Isabella was falling asleep on call. Before, we’d talk long into the night, and it began to drain the energy out of the both of us. Now, we were listening to music, playing Roblox, watching Netflix, or just sitting in silence. I had never felt comfortable with silence, but she made it seem better than having a conversation with anyone else. It’s a beautiful thing when words aren’t required to appreciate someone. The moment I had the courage to do so, I asked her out to Steak n’ Shake. It’s just my luck that the restaurant was hardly a shell of what I remembered as a kid. At first the conversation was awkward because we hardly spoke in person, but as time progressed so did we. I still remember the tightness of my cheeks as I failed to suppress my ear-to-ear grin. The euphoric nausea and beating heart that disappeared throughout our conversation. I remember the booth we sat in, the fact that she wanted me to swap seats with her because of her creaky seat, the way she giggled, how I fought tooth and nail to pay for such a small bill, the way she smiled when she said, “next time you’ve gotta let me pay,” and the shared excitement for our next hangout. Even though Isabella and I were still friends, even though the restaurant was a disaster, even though the fries were stale and the milkshakes chunky, that moment is one of the best in my life. With how well things were going, I thought that it was my best chance at making something more out of this friendship. So, I shot my shot. I told her that despite my efforts the summer before, she still held a special place in my heart. Isabella responded with her own struggles with recovering from a past relationship, detailing the trust issues and pain she still felt almost a year later. I was yet again, devastated. Then she added that despite her own feelings, she had to be careful and the risk of losing our friendship scared her. I understood her reasoning, but it made me sick to think of how close I was. In response, I expressed how I could relate to those feelings, and the conflict I had with them. It felt ridiculous having opened myself up once again, to just be friendzoned. Her response struck me with both hope and devastation, “I f*cking love you a ton Lincoln, but I’m struggling to differentiate my admiration as a friend and as something more. I’m terrified of losing you.” Previously I would have seen this as a sign to keep trying, but at that moment, I couldn’t see past the blatant friendzoning. After pursuing her for so long, it felt cruel of her to continue dragging me along like this, even though she was being honest. My reaction to the straw that broke the camel’s back is one of, if not, the biggest regrets in life. Homecoming was a little over a week away and she was going (as friends) with my buddy, Davis, so in a storm of hatred for myself and the situation I was in, I gave up on her. Our conversations grew to be minimal and far apart. Soon, I started to resent her. Each day since then, I have somehow felt more remorse than the last for not asking her to Homecoming. Homecoming night is when I began flirting with Claire, a sweet redhead from gym class. We connected on not going with the person we had hoped for. All it took was me joking that I should’ve spent more time around her, instead of leaving the dance early, for Claire to lose her mind. Over the next month or so, I was becoming closer and closer with Claire, despite her irritable “quirks”. I only spoke to Isabella if she reached out to me first with the only exception being when I would ask her for “advice” about Claire, which was a shameful habit I started as petty revenge on Isabella. Eventually, Isabella blocked me on Snapchat, but it didn’t matter. Things with me and Claire were going great, she made me feel like I didn’t need to starve myself to be good enough for her. She made me feel like I was enough. For the next two and a half months, life was great. After the first couple months of ignorant bliss, I was sick of her. Sure, there were a variety of reasons to find her annoying, most people I knew could list more than they have fingers and toes, but she didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have gotten into the relationship in the first place not only because of Isabella, but also the speed at which me and Claire started dating. She was still growing out of the elementary relationship phase, so while it was nice to connect with someone so quickly, it was rushed. Another issue being that I was her first real boyfriend, the baggage that followed me was detrimental to her and I couldn’t give her the attention she needed. As me and Claire began our month long drift apart, I was unblocked by Isabella. She and I caught up, and we quickly began to talk trash about Claire while on call. It was unbelievably toxic, and I’m embarrassed of how I handled things to this day. Eventually, with the support of Isabella, I decided it was time to break up. The only issue was the guilt I had in such a terrible choice, I could never do it. So I began to get more distant by the day, ignored texts and calls, and stopped walking her to classes because “I had to pee.” Eventually she caught wind of my plans and called me after school one day. Sobbing, she told me what she had heard and how she knew it wasn’t true, but it still worried her. I began to get ready to break the news, but she was already crying so what's the worst that could happen? I wish I had never asked myself that, because next she told me she’d been cutting herself. My heart sank in remorse for what I knew I would do. If I led her on longer, the aftermath of my cold actions would lead to even more catastrophe. I was scared, but knew the lesser of the two evils I had to pick from. I calmed her down, quickly notified her friends to be keeping an eye on her, and then dumped her. To this day, I am disgusted by my actions. Throughout the past three months, Claire expressed how she had loved and trusted me, yet I threw that all away. There are so many ways I could’ve handled the situation differently, but two stood out the most. Showing respect by speaking to Claire the moment I realized my feelings had fleeted was the bare minimum that I disregarded, but the second was far simpler. I had known from the start that I was still in love with Isabella and that love never faded, but was only suppressed. The entire relationship we developed, while we both enjoyed parts of it (her more than me), was a lie, and essentially a cruel joke played on Claire. There’s no excuse for my actions, and even worse, I could’ve cared less back then. It was only when time had passed that I began to understand the damage I had done. Without Claire holding me back, my newfound freedom led to a closer friendship with Isabella. I dove headfirst into the familiar pit all over again. A friendship was not enough, I appreciated every interaction I had with Isabella, but my life depended on a future with her. It’s likely she felt this as she slowly began to drift away from me. Before I had stayed up speaking to Isabella, but now I couldn’t sleep out of the tormenting absence of her voice. The only path to good health was time; distance was best for the both of us, and I knew it. For the rest of that school year, everything around me was going, but I stood still. It was like my life was just a sitcom, and I was no longer the main character. The summer that followed was just the same, I was living but dead, moving but still, speaking but silent. I was dissociating from my friends and family, but the absence of that violent snake made my depression insignificant. Living a life without her was more punishment than death itself, and I didn’t deserve relief. Even now, I think of that summer and remember almost nothing, for my life isn’t worth remembering without Isabella in it. Sophomore year began, and so did my conversations with Isabella. This go around, I was subtle with my feelings for her. The excitement I had for speaking with her was under control, but it was because the spark inside me had faded, even when it came to Isabella.The years of self pity and depression had left a toll on me that could never be reversed, and it didn’t help that Isabella began to build a relationship with another guy. When we spoke, if we did, Isabella’s concern for my mental state outweighed the friendship we were struggling to preserve. I had come to the conclusion that pursuing Isabella would only make things worse, and I needed to just be her friend. Since I couldn’t lose the feelings I had for her, I just sat in them. While I sat in the pit, Isabella and I had one particular Facetime call in which I brought up how much I regretted dating Claire. To that, Isabella added, “Yeah, she’s so annoying. I can’t remember if you told me why you got together in the first place, what led you to her?” I paused with the thousand-yard stare of an American private fresh out of West Point. “I guess I was just so disappointed with myself for not being able to go to homecoming with you and being stuck on you for so long that I impulsively got with another girl to forget about my shortcomings,” I said with reluctance and stuttering every few words. She told me that she would’ve said yes to homecoming without a second thought, but I knew she meant as friends. Then, to my dismay, Isabella revealed that whenever I got with Claire, she still had feelings for me. It was me talking to Isabella about how great things were with me and Claire that led her to block me and cut contact with me. The piano melody from “No Surprises” by Radiohead began looping through my mind as tears ran down my face. I forget how I ended the call, but once I did, I broke. I lost my breath, my head got light, my eyes became blurry, my stomach was nauseous, and my insides sank as far as they could. Everything I wanted, dreamed of, needed had been so close, and I blew it. Everything was my fault. Later I would ask her why she lost them, and her answer proved how much better she was than me. Isabella answered, “I had been hurt, so I moved on. Just got over it.” We hardly spoke anymore, but one text message has found a permanent home in my mind. After asking me how I was, Isabella wasn’t satisfied with, “it’s complicated.” She asked that I explain it to her so that she could try to understand. I told her about all the issues going on in my life, except the torch I still held for her. She wrote, “I know you’re not religious, so it may not mean anything, but I pray for you every night, Lincoln. Even though it sounds bad, I think that I've known you weren’t in the greatest mental place for a while. I want you to know I'm not judging you, I want you to feel comfortable enough to share that with someone. You have to be able to recognize how you’re feeling in order to even fix it.” These words broke me despite their simplistic appearance. Reading that she prayed for me hit me hard as she had always tried to get me to believe in God again. I’m agnostic, and nothing has come closer to bringing me back to faith as Isabella did. The idea that if God were real and I could see her in heaven was appealing, but should Christianity be the wrong choice, I wanted to be wrong with Isabella. In the following days, Isabella told me about Alex, a guy she had been talking to a lot, and how they were at most a month away from being together. I hated everything about Alex, which is a stupid name in the first place. I hated his choice of friends, I hated how white-washed he was, I hated how he dressed like a conservative cowboy, I hated the underbite that made him look like a pug, I hated his short curly hair, I hated the fact that he was a diehard Trump supporter while people of his race were being oppressed, I hated how he pretended to be someone else when he was around Isabella, I hated how he hid unhealthy habits from her, I hated that a guy like him garnered Isabella’s affection when I couldn’t. I barely knew the guy and I was wasting my energy with hatred for him, when in reality, he was just a mind-numbingly basic douche among the hundreds just like him at our school. Isabella regularly complained about Alex, but hardly did anything. Instead she stopped bringing it up, saying that talking about her issues with others only makes it worse and that she was just wining. The monotone delivery of her reasoning hurt my soul, it was like she was reciting a text from Alex. Each day that passed, I felt the urgency of expressing my feelings one more time rising. Soon Isabella and Alex would be official, and I would lose my chance to try and express how I felt one more time. I reached out to Isabella and asked if she was free to hangout that friday. On November 10, 2023, Isabella picked me up around 5:30 in the evening. She kept the inside of her SUV looking brand new in contrast to the familiarity of her smile. My nerves left me winded after every sentence and shivering in her passenger seat. Quickly our conversation became more natural as I cracked jokes to ease my anxiety, but my shaky breathing never stopped. We went to Publix to grab some snacks and drinks and headed right back to my neighborhood park. At the Grove Point Park, we found a swinging chair to sit in. Due to the time of the year, the sun had already set, but Isabella’s beauty was indifferent under the moonlight. I haven’t the slightest clue how long we sat there together. When I’m with Isabella, even Father Time gives me grace, for he knows that he is as powerless as I am to the frequency of these moments. After a while, I mentioned that it was getting late and she agreed. On the ride back to my place, I mustered the bare minimum of strength it took to confront my feelings. As she drove over the speed bump before entering the roundabout, I began to open up. I briefly told her that I still felt the same way I did two years ago, that I had tried to forget about the feelings I had with no success, and that I was sorry to once again ruin our unstable friendship. She told me it was fine and my feelings were natural, nothing to regret or be ashamed of. Her words meant nothing to me this time because I had already heard them. Defeated, I paused for a moment, then said, “Isabella, you reciprocated my feelings in the past, so after Alex, do you think that maybe we’d have a chance?” She looked at me with pain in her eyes, not for herself, but for me. She quietly said, “I- Lincoln, you know I can’t answer that. I’m with Alex now, it wouldn’t be fair.” All I could get out was, “Oh- I- I’m sorry. Uh yeah no, you’re uh- you’re right.” Everything in me pulled and begged at my lips to say what I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I still look back on that night and wish I had said the few words I never got to tell her. What if saying them could’ve changed something? Realistically, it wouldn’t have, but the regret remains. I doubt Isabella would have even remembered where my word choice stemmed from. Regardless, the words rang in my head then, and never stopped. All I wanted to say at that moment was, “but I still need you.” Today, 1,725 days since I first saw Isabella, 822 days since I first facetimed Isabella, and 178 days since that heartbreakingly beautiful night, I still love her the same. Looking back on my experience with her, I regret many things (oversharing, Claire, the snake, etc.), but the one thing I have never regretted was meeting and loving her. It was only recently that I realized that loving her has been one of the biggest mistakes in my life. For three years, day in and day out, I’ve thought about her. Three years where I could have met other people, worked on myself, enjoyed my friends and family, but instead I’ve loved her and nothing, nobody else. The one lesson that was essential for me to take away from my experience was impossible. In eighth grade I was 5’7 and 215 lbs, today I’m 5’10 and 165 lbs. In eighth grade I spent time with my parents, today I hide in my room. In eighth grade, I told people how I felt, now I’m too scared. In eighth grade, I talked about my depression, now I am left alone to deal with it. In eighth grade, I had many friends, now I rarely speak to them. In eighth grade, I needed Isabella, but the one lesson I should’ve learned never took effect. I still need her.

So, this is all pretty new to me, and I’m still navigating my way through the aftermath of a recent interaction with someone I suspect is a narcissist, and at the very least has severe narcissistic traits. My ex and I broke up around a month and a half ago due to him lying and cheating on me. The relationship was quite literally otherwise perfect. I say it was divine intervention, because I wasn’t even snooping or suspecting ANYTHING. It really just fell into my lap, and piecing together the ways that he hid so much and made himself out to be this perfect man is terrifying. The aftermath was more lies, him shifting blame, not feeling any true remorse because he felt that he’d not cheated on me.
I broke up with him after all of this came to light. And we stayed in communication for about 2 weeks here and there, because I was still on the fence about things with him, thinking, “maybe we could work it out.” Well…at first, the aftermath of these talks/convos post-breakup seemed to really give me some closure and hope that maybe he would one day change and grow into a better man, a “what’s meant to be will be” sort of acceptance, even though my decision to end it now was not going to change atp. He was (in hindsight) selling the dream that he’s still this great guy who wants to do the work, go to therapy, be better for our future together, etc.
I set the boundary to be NC for my own peace of mind. He lasted all of 6 days. I didn’t respond, and he continued the outreach. I blocked him temporarily after the 3rd attempt. His response was to stop sharing his location (despite saying he shared it with me FOR me, so I wouldn’t have to run into him at all) and he signed me out of shared streaming platforms lol. A week goes by, I’m thinking he wouldn’t keep reaching out (silly me) so I unblocked him. He reaches out again, calls me, texts me saying he can’t do NC anymore and needs to talk to figure out where we stand (we are clearly broken up and NC with no promise to get back together, in fact I actually encouraged him to move on with his life and said that the last hangout would be the last hangout). He said if I care about him at all to please call him back (incredibly manipulative).
This sent me into a whirlwind of emotion, but I didn’t respond. So about 7 hours go by, he calls again and it goes straight to voicemail because of DND. Then all of a sudden I realize I am unfollowed on several things, he forwards me a bill transfer request for my wifi service, and says he wants his things back (mind you, no mention of said things/clothes for 6 weeks after the breakup), and says if I don’t take ownership of the bill, he’ll cancel the service (my wifi is linked to his phone account but I pay for it monthly).
Even though I already broke up with him, it feels like he’s trying to do things to 1) get my attention 2) feel in control and 3) have his own version of breaking up with me.
NC has been dreadfully painful. And to see him go from this person who allegedly understands their wrong and wants to make it right and give me space to grieve and heal—now all of a sudden it feels like he’s trying to punish me because he isn’t getting his way. Playing the victim when he’s the cheater is baffling. I refuse to break NC but I am really just seeking support. I’ve never experienced this in a relationship, and the emotional reactivity is disorienting for me and making me question a lot.
TLDR; broke up with my nex who violates my NC boundaries. When I don’t respond, he tries any little and obscure way to get my attention and “punish me” to solicit a response. Seeking support.

So just to clarify for future questions.. in my country and faith its encouraged to marry young and I was on board with that idea so around last year I met my now wife (fake name) Sarah
Around august and at first I saw Sarah on a friend making app kinda like tinder but for younger people and at that time I was just a horny immature kid
There I saw a girl whom I seem to really like from the pictures and also her wearing a hijab meant she's from my faith so I shot her a text on instagram which was linked to that app and we started talking there and she added me to a groupchat where she was being flirty and talking dirty with people so I was like she's acting like a wh**e so I'll treat her like one and just texted her to get nud-s from her but.. slowly got serious with her and we were in a full blown relationship.
After being in the 3rd month of the relationship she cheated on me virtually by sending nud*s to many guys and I almost broke up with her but she convinced me to stay by gaslighting me and I fell for it (ik I'm dumb and weak) and we stayed and after a month she proposed me to marry her (religiously relationships frowned upon and just marry) and I accepted even after ignoring a ton of red flags but I made a few rules for the marriage which were basically not to talk to guys and that I'll not trust her and be controlling and no guy friends allowed (i really stood out that point).. I said only marry if she accepts that and she agreed.
So after we did our marriage she slowly started changing like her menstrual emotions "made her" talk to her exes whom she also cheated on me before marriage and when I asked her to not talk to him she always used to say Im insecure and she started talking about dirty stuff around other men which made me furious and whenever I address it she always said "shut up" which she fixed after 2-3 days
So on the second month's menstrual she was like "I want to be a model" which i refused because its not allowed in my faith for women to show off their body and be covered wearing a clothing called abaya (please don't judge) and she got mad and blocked me and started talking to all her exes after unblocking them (whom i made her block) and she changed her instagram password so I cant see what or with whom shes talking to.
After about 2 days she wore off her menstrual emotions and apologized to me and we went back to normal until her next cycle .. She said she's not capable of loving me and that she cant just stay with 1 guy since she have ADHD and it has something to do with her commitment and also that she's bi but prefers women and that she's only with me because in our faith homosexuality is strictly forbidden and later mentioned divorce, But i talked her out of it and just like last time she got normal after 2 days and we were a normal happy couple.
Now a few days ago she had her cycle again and downloaded a few live streaming apps like 'Bigo' and started talking to random guys who were talking dirty with her which I didnt appeciate but at that time didnt say anything but secrectly hated inside and yestaday she was saying that she cant commit to a person and want to have flings and live her life like that not commiting to anyone and suggesting divorce again. And she still was on those streaming apps again talking to guys which I really didn't like and she made "friends" there.
When I checked her instagram she was talking to a guy who was clearly hitting on her whom she was letting him do so and this isnt the first time she did this.. I made her delete the apps and blocked some people off of her phone and today she seem to be returning back to normal but I don't know how to feel about this monthly subscribtion of drama. What sould I do?
Tldr: wife who cheated on me before marriage who keeps talking about divorce each month after marrying and saying that she prefers women still talks to guys and leading them on even after I strictly forbade her from doing it pre-marriage
EDIT: whenever I talk about her not wanting this marriage she always says "I dont care" and shows she dont care about us and shes also said that her not talking to me for just a few days will make her forget me which shatters me from inside
(plus I'm on mobile so excuse me if formatting is off)

Are you a die-hard football fan eagerly waiting to catch all the action of the UEFA Europa League in 2024? Look no further! In this blog post, we'll guide you through the best ways to watch the thrilling matches live without spending a dime. Get ready to cheer for your favorite teams and witness the drama unfold from the comfort of your home.

Free Streaming Options for the Europa League

ServusTV (Austria)

If you're lucky enough to be in Austria, you can enjoy the Europa League matches absolutely free on ServusTV. This broadcasting service has secured the rights to air the games for Austrian viewers, so all you need is a stable internet connection and a compatible device.

RTBF (Belgium)

For football enthusiasts in Belgium, RTBF is your go-to platform for free Europa League streaming. Whether you prefer watching on your smartphone, tablet, or smart TV, RTBF has got you covered. Sit back, relax, and immerse yourself in the excitement of the tournament.

Paid Streaming Platforms

While free options are limited, several paid streaming platforms offer comprehensive coverage of the Europa League worldwide. Here are a few notable ones:

• Paramount Plus (USA): American fans can catch all the action on Paramount Plus. With plans starting at just $6 per month and a 7-day free trial, it's a fantastic option for those who don't mind a small investment.
• DAZN (Canada): Canadian football enthusiasts can turn to DAZN for their Europa League fix. Although it doesn't offer a free trial, the monthly subscription fee of $24.99 grants you access to a wide range of sports content.
• TNT Sports (UK): UK-based supporters can follow their favorite teams on TNT Sports. While the subscription fee of £29.99 per month might seem steep, the platform provides comprehensive coverage and expert analysis.

Using a VPN to Access Geo-Restricted Content

If you find yourself outside the countries with free or paid streaming options, don't worry! A reliable VPN (Virtual Private Network) can come to your rescue. By connecting to a server in a country where the Europa League is available, you can bypass geographical restrictions and access the content you crave.
However, it's important to note that using a VPN to circumvent geo-blocks might violate the streaming platforms' terms of service. Additionally, accessing copyrighted content without proper authorization could infringe on intellectual property rights. Always use VPNs responsibly and respect the applicable laws and regulations.

Choosing the Right VPN

When selecting a VPN for streaming the Europa League, consider the following factors:

1. Server Network: Look for a VPN with a wide server network, particularly in countries where the tournament is being broadcasted. This ensures better chances of finding a fast and reliable connection.
2. Speed and Stability: Streaming live sports requires a stable and speedy connection to avoid buffering and interruptions. Opt for a VPN known for its excellent performance.
3. Device Compatibility: Make sure the VPN you choose offers apps for your preferred streaming devices, such as smartphones, tablets, smart TVs, or gaming consoles.
4. Privacy and Security: A trustworthy VPN should have a strict no-logging policy and robust encryption to protect your online privacy and keep your streaming activities confidential.

Recommended VPNs

After thorough testing and evaluation, we recommend the following VPNs for streaming the UEFA Europa League:

1. NordVpn: With lightning-fast speeds, an extensive server network, and user-friendly apps, NordVpn is our top pick. It effortlessly unblocks geo-restricted content and offers a 30-day money-back guarantee.
2. CyberGhost: CyberGhost boasts a vast server network and dedicated streaming servers optimized for popular platforms. Its intuitive interface and affordable long-term plans make it a compelling choice.
3. Private Internet Access (PIA): PIA stands out for its generous device policy, allowing you to protect all your devices with a single subscription. Its robust security features and competitive pricing make it a solid contender.

Enhancing Your Streaming Experience

To ensure a seamless and enjoyable streaming experience, consider the following tips:

• Stable Internet Connection: A reliable and fast internet connection is crucial for smooth streaming. Aim for a minimum download speed of 5 Mbps for HD quality.
• Use an Ethernet Cable: If possible, connect your streaming device directly to your router using an Ethernet cable. This minimizes potential Wi-Fi signal interference and provides a more stable connection.
• Close Unnecessary Apps: Before starting your stream, close any unnecessary applications running in the background. This frees up system resources and reduces the chances of buffering.
• Clear Browser Cache: Regularly clearing your browser cache and cookies can help improve streaming performance and prevent loading issues.

Final Thoughts

Watching the UEFA Europa League live for free in 2024 is definitely possible with a bit of knowledge and the right tools. Whether you're in Austria or Belgium, take advantage of the free broadcasting services available. For those in other regions, paid streaming platforms and VPNs offer alternative ways to catch the action.
Remember to prioritize online safety and respect intellectual property rights when using VPNs. By following our tips and recommendations, you'll be well-equipped to enjoy the thrilling matches and support your favorite teams throughout the tournament.
So, gather your friends, stock up on snacks, and get ready for an unforgettable Europa League experience. The excitement and drama await – don't miss a single moment!

Are you a die-hard fan of Premier League football, Formula 1 racing, or international cricket? If so, you probably already know that Sky Sports is the ultimate destination for live sports coverage in the UK and Ireland. But what if you're traveling abroad or living in a country where Sky Sports isn't available? Don't worry – with a reliable VPN, you can easily stream Sky Sports live online from anywhere in the world! In this comprehensive guide, we'll show you how to choose the best VPN for Sky Sports and provide step-by-step instructions for watching on any device. Let's kick off!

Why Do You Need a VPN to Watch Sky Sports Live Online?

Sky Sports is a popular sports streaming service that's only available to viewers in the UK and Ireland. If you try to access Sky Sports from outside these countries, you'll encounter an error message saying that the content is not available in your location. This is because Sky Sports uses geo-blocking technology to restrict access based on your IP address. To bypass these geo-restrictions and watch Sky Sports live online from anywhere, you need a Virtual Private Network (VPN). A VPN masks your real IP address and replaces it with one from a server in the UK or Ireland, making it appear as if you're accessing Sky Sports from within those countries. With a VPN, you can easily unblock Sky Sports and enjoy live sports streaming no matter where you are in the world.

Top 5 VPNs for Streaming Sky Sports Live Online

Not all VPNs are created equal when it comes to unblocking Sky Sports. To ensure a smooth and high-quality streaming experience, you need a VPN that offers fast speeds, reliable connections, and a large network of servers in the UK and Ireland. Here are our top 5 recommended VPNs for watching Sky Sports live online:

1. ExpressVPN – Our top pick for streaming Sky Sports, with lightning-fast speeds and a vast network of servers in the UK and Ireland.
2. NordVPN – A close second, offering excellent unblocking capabilities and user-friendly apps for all devices.
3. CyberGhost – A budget-friendly option with dedicated streaming servers optimized for Sky Sports.
4. Surfshark – A reliable choice for streaming Sky Sports on unlimited devices simultaneously.
5. Private Internet Access (PIA) – A solid VPN with a massive network of servers in the UK and Ireland.

How to Watch Sky Sports Live Online With a VPN (Step-by-Step Guide)

Follow these simple steps to stream Sky Sports live online from anywhere using a VPN:

1. Choose a reliable VPN service that works with Sky Sports. We recommend ExpressVPN for its fast speeds and excellent unblocking capabilities.
2. Download and install the VPN app on your device. Most VPNs offer apps for Windows, Mac, iOS, Android, and more.
3. Launch the VPN app and log in with your account credentials.
4. Connect to a server in the UK or Ireland. This will give you a UK or Irish IP address, allowing you to access Sky Sports as if you were in those countries.
5. Go to the Sky Sports website or app and log in with your Sky TV or NOW TV subscription details.
6. Start streaming your favorite sports live online! Enjoy the action from anywhere in the world.

Can You Use a Free VPN to Watch Sky Sports Live Online?

While there are many free VPNs available, we strongly advise against using them to stream Sky Sports live online. Free VPNs often have slow speeds, limited bandwidth, and a small number of servers, making them unreliable for streaming high-quality video content. Moreover, free VPNs may collect and sell your personal data to third parties, compromising your online privacy and security. To ensure a seamless and secure streaming experience, we recommend using a premium VPN service like ExpressVPN or NordVPN. These VPNs offer fast speeds, unlimited bandwidth, and robust security features to keep your online activities private and safe. While they come at a cost, the investment is well worth it for uninterrupted access to Sky Sports live online.

How to Watch Sky Sports on Different Devices With a VPN

Whether you prefer to watch Sky Sports on your laptop, smartphone, smart TV, or gaming console, a VPN can help you unblock the service on any device. Here's how to set up a VPN on some of the most popular devices:

Windows and Mac

1. Download and install the VPN app for Windows or Mac from your chosen provider's website.
2. Launch the app and log in with your account details.
3. Connect to a server in the UK or Ireland.
4. Open the Sky Sports website or app and start streaming live sports.

iOS and Android

1. Download the VPN app from the App Store (for iOS) or Google Play Store (for Android).
2. Open the app and sign in with your VPN account credentials.
3. Select a server in the UK or Ireland and connect.
4. Launch the Sky Sports app or visit the website to start streaming live sports on your mobile device.

Smart TVs and Streaming Devices

1. Install the VPN app on your smart TV or streaming device if available. Some VPNs offer dedicated apps for Amazon Fire TV, Android TV, and Apple TV.
2. If your VPN doesn't have a compatible app, set up the VPN on your Wi-Fi router instead. This will automatically protect all devices connected to your home network, including your smart TV or streaming device.
3. Connect to a UK or Irish server.
4. Open the Sky Sports app on your smart TV or streaming device and enjoy live sports streaming.

Gaming Consoles (Xbox and PlayStation)

1. Set up the VPN on your Wi-Fi router, as most gaming consoles don't support VPN apps directly.
2. Connect your gaming console to the VPN-enabled Wi-Fi network.
3. Open the Sky Sports app on your Xbox or PlayStation and start streaming live sports.

FAQs About Watching Sky Sports Live Online With a VPN

Can I watch Sky Sports live online for free?

No, you need a valid Sky TV or NOW TV subscription to access Sky Sports live online. A VPN only helps you bypass geo-restrictions and does not provide free access to the service.

Is it legal to use a VPN to watch Sky Sports live online?

Using a VPN to access Sky Sports from a country where the service is not available may violate Sky's terms of use. However, VPNs are legal in most countries, and many people use them for online privacy and security purposes. It's important to note that we do not condone the use of VPNs for illegal activities.

Will using a VPN slow down my internet speed when streaming Sky Sports live online?

All VPNs will slightly reduce your internet speed due to the encryption process. However, premium VPNs like ExpressVPN and NordVPN offer fast speeds and optimized servers for streaming, minimizing the impact on your connection. As long as you have a stable internet connection, you should be able to stream Sky Sports live online without buffering or lag.

Can I watch Sky Sports live online on multiple devices simultaneously with a VPN?

Yes, most VPNs allow you to connect multiple devices simultaneously with a single subscription. For example, ExpressVPN supports up to 5 simultaneous connections, while Surfshark offers unlimited multi-device connections.

What other streaming services can I unblock with a VPN?

In addition to Sky Sports, a VPN can help you unblock a wide range of geo-restricted streaming services, including:

• Netflix
• BBC iPlayer
• Amazon Prime Video
• Hulu
• Disney+
• ITV Hub
• All 4
• HBO Max
• Showtime
• ESPN+ Just connect to a server in the appropriate country and enjoy access to your favorite streaming content from anywhere in the world.

Start Streaming Sky Sports Live Online From Anywhere Today!

Don't let geo-restrictions stop you from enjoying the best live sports coverage on Sky Sports. With a reliable VPN like ExpressVPN, you can easily unblock Sky Sports and stream your favorite sports events live online from anywhere in the world. Follow our step-by-step guide to set up a VPN on your preferred device and start watching Sky Sports today! Whether you're cheering on your favorite Premier League team, following the thrilling Formula 1 races, or catching the latest international cricket matches, a VPN ensures that you never miss a moment of the action. So what are you waiting for? Choose one of our recommended VPNs and get ready to experience the ultimate in live sports streaming with Sky Sports – no matter where you are!

Years ago when I initially setup my UDM Pro they had a list of streaming services you could block. Some adult sites, hulu, netflix, etc. I need to unblock Hulu but can't find where to unblock it. I see a restriction group I created called "Streaming Services" under Security but nowhere can I find the actual group.

Hello, I have about 100m of sloping ground to mow, I think about 7-10% grade hill. There are several moles, taupe holes and small decorative trees to work around. I need something very lightweight (under 10kg) but still cuts (preference that it leaves the grass on the ground but if needed I can empty a basket) . I am torn between flymo and ryobi as I dont want to spend a bunch. Since I cant test either in person, could someone maybe say which is better? The flymo has really bad notes on amazon so Im a bit worried to buy it, but the Ryobi RLM13E33S is a heavier so Im not sure for a small person with a bad back that its not to heavy. I want electric as a battery gets drained to quickly on the slope (I have one and after 10 minutes its out of stream). The grass is also often wet, but I imagine any will have a problem with that - if its a matter of unblocking the port its not a problem. Thank you in advance

Living outside the US, I'm struggling to access MLB.TV due to geo-restrictions. A reliable VPN seems like the solution, but with so many options, I'm overwhelmed. Which VPNs have you successfully used to unblock and stream MLB.TV without issues? I'm looking for fast speeds, robust security, and specialized streaming servers optimized for services like MLB.TV. User-friendly apps for various devices (Smart TVs, mobile) are a plus. Share your top VPN recommendations for MLB.TV streaming, along with any setup tips or tricks to ensure smooth, buffer-free baseball action. Affordability is also a factor, so cost-effective options are appreciated. Your first-hand experiences and advice will help me finally enjoy my favorite teams on MLB.TV from anywhere in the world.

Marduk is obviously ahorrible person and a wanted criminal. One day, he and Bryan ran into each other. Both being subscribed to each others social media accounts, they decided to do a collab. The theme was, Who’s the better Psychotic Murderer. Fahk’s family gets caught in the crossfire. He was away training like Goku with Josie training under him. Lidia, who happened to secretly follow both Marduk and Bryan, decided to intervene. She leaped 300ft… wait she’s Polish… she leaped… let me do the math… convert feet 🦶into centimeters… carry the one… okay, she leaped a 100000000 cm from the air from her helicopter. Marduk sees her coming and tries to sidestep, but since he didn’t pay for her dlc, he doesn’t know that move tracks and is unblockable. She lands straight on top Marduk ‘s face, superhero style. The impact causes a floor explosion into combo into wall spat into heat burst into blah, blah, blah… he’s knocked out. She arrests him and sends him to prison. Bryan got bored midway through her combo and pulled his Ethernet cord. Lidia looks around for Bryan and realizes that he ducked their match. She sends him a dm through psn saying “tchórz, walcz ze mną, suko.”
“Oh u mad🙃. I left because you’re boring. I’ve tasted water with more personality than u. And say 😘 to your account.” Bryan immediately report her and got her temporarily banned off psn. She growls then sees Marduk’s unconscious body and thinks about committing brutality and claiming diplomatic immunity. People arrive with cameras and since election is coming soon, she hops into her helicopter and flys off, leaving Marduk in the hands of the oh so capable normal human authorities. Fahk sees what happened on the news and plots his revenge. He beats up some corrupt degenerate politicians, gets himself locked up and sent to the same prison as Marduk, but by that time, Marduk already escaped. Now fahk having attacked very powerful and influential politicians, they treat him worse than Marduk. He’s basically locked under the prison and chained up like an Egyptian mummy. Anna infiltrates into prison, puts on a pair of shiny black heels and a sexy lawyer costume and pretends to represent Fahk. Since she’s so thicc and fine and confident, nobody dares to question her. They end up giving her an unscheduled tour. When the guards leads her into Fahk’s room, she hits them with the sidestep cancel into plus frames. Being normal people, they passed out from the pain three moves ago. So, she melts all of his 207 locks instantly with a well placed heat engager. Since fahk is too damn tall and Buff to convincingly pull off a disguise, she leads a daring escape in the style of The Raid Redemption movie. Anybody that stands in their way gets vaporized by their buffed dlc bullshit and Anna’s crouching low launcher into full combos. Obviously, they escaped and the “totally” legal black site prison burns down to the ground.
Don’t worry nobody got hurt in the fire. The first rule of storytelling, Schrödinger Red Shirt. Characters ‘killed’ offscreen are simultaneously alive and dead until you show them again. Meaning, if you don’t see people die, it’s safe to assume they’re still alive. That’s at least what Harada told the Ratings Board as he slipped them a fat envelope of cash.
Lidia scrolls Reddit and after she finishes defending her return and trolling everyone that talked shit about her not coming back and that Reina took her spot, she notices people incessantly bitching about Anna and Fahk’s broken dlc bullshit during their prison break. She calls the prison and gets a message saying that the number is no longer in service. She learns that they had escaped and since this is election year, she has to act fast. Also, since people have been complaining about her being boring and bland as untasted bread, she tears a couple inches off her skirt, unbuttons her blouse a bit, puts on a shiny pair of heels and goes to the hair salon before hopping onto her helicopter. Her popularity goes up 300% and she’s trending #1 on XXX formerly known as Tweddy, that was recently bought by Elron Musty.
Fahk follows a trail of body hair, empty protein bar wrappers and size four shoeprints in order to find Marduk. They have a very manly bare chested showdown in the pouring rain. Anna having a crippling addiction to social media and a raging revenge boner, she records the fight live and tags her sister Nina. Anna says, “after we’re done with Marduk, you’re next bitch… and I want my red shoes back mf.” Nina knows that her sister is high off of the dlc buffs and sends the video to Lidia’s dms along with Anna’s location. If Anna survives, she’ll deal with her after Harada nerfs her into irrelevance.
Fahk is having a hard time with Marduk since throws have been buffed combined with Marduk already being Top 5 in T7 and the dlc buffs. Fahk is about to lose when Anna installs the team battle mode.exe. Together, they use their overpowered lows and shatters Marduks shins. Anna also being a thirst trap social icon, records herself choking Marduk into unconsciousness with her thighs. Cash app and Venmo explodes into confetti due to the volume and sudden donations. This publicity stunt soared Anna’s net worth into Fortune 500 territory.
Lidia drops from the sky and she’s cracking with overpowered energy. She not only has the dlc buffs, she has two dlc buffs plus the launch pre-nerfs bullshit. Even with their combined strength, Lidia proves too strong. Nina is standing on top of a building, watching from a distance. She sighs, then pulls out a missile launcher and fires it at Lidia. The only person allowed to beat up her sister and humiliate her in front of millions of her adoring fans is her. Lidia power crushes through the oncoming missile, but that gives Anna the chance to ch low launch her into a death combo. Anna turns to see her sister waving and laughing as she catches an Uber driver helicopter. Perks of working with Kazuya.
Julia watched Anna’s entire live stream and noticed that Ganryu had subscribed to all her accounts. He has only ever subscribed and liked her posts. Her toxic traits convinces her that she can outdo Anna’s live stream and even though she hates ganryu and has a restraining order against him, she can’t stand him obsessing over another girl. Stalkers aren’t allowed to multitask.
Harada vomits on my shoes and passes out. The End
If you need me to verify all of this. I have ironclad Reddit proof. My proof is, “Trust me, bro.” You can’t get more verified than that. Take care y’all.

Hi all , F30 here.
When things were over between my NEX and me… I blocked him and removed his friends from my Instagram and Facebook etc. to be fair my NEX blocked me first when decided to unblock me. Both our IG profiles are private … so it’s not like he can see my endless streams of IG stories . I blocked his friends because they remind me of him, I was trying to remove one less memory/ trigger off my phone. He blocked me off LinkedIn and unblocked me back… but I decided he wasn’t worthy to access any of my social media.
Curious how everyone else is going no contact because I still see people say their NEX can see their IG stories /FB posts (hoovering) but still in no contact? The only chance he ever has at hoovering is messaging my parents about his work updates (he runs a successful business)… but even I went a little extreme and check their phones and remove his messages /contact (I moved back with my flying monkey dad/ narc mom for the time being)
I know my NEX still follows one of my close friend on social media. She tries to leave subtle jabs in their captions when it comes to posting stories with me about all the shit that I endured (yay for supportive friend)
I guess where I’m from, we like to keep our IG accounts private , to avoid nosy folks from stalking etc (I’m from Asia).

Using a VPN on your iPhone can be a smart move to enhance your online privacy, security, and freedom while using your device on public Wi-Fi networks or browsing the internet. In this article, we'll explore the importance of using a VPN on your iPhone and discuss some of the best VPN options available for iOS devices.
Why Use a VPN on Your iPhone?

1. Enhanced Privacy: When you connect to the internet through a VPN, your IP address is masked, and your online activities are encrypted. This makes it significantly harder for third parties, such as ISPs (Internet Service Providers), advertisers, or hackers, to monitor your browsing habits and track your online behavior.
2. Security on Public Wi-Fi Networks: Public Wi-Fi networks are convenient but often insecure, making them prime targets for cybercriminals looking to intercept sensitive information. By using a VPN on your iPhone, you can encrypt your data transmissions, preventing potential eavesdroppers from intercepting your passwords, emails, or financial information.
3. Bypassing Geo-Restrictions: Some online content, such as streaming services or websites, may be restricted based on your geographic location. With a VPN, you can bypass these geo-restrictions by connecting to a server in a different country, allowing you to access region-locked content on your iPhone.
4. Avoiding Censorship: In countries with strict internet censorship laws, using a VPN can help you bypass government-imposed restrictions and access the open internet without limitations.
5. Secure Remote Access: If you need to access sensitive work-related resources or connect to your home network while on the go, a VPN provides a secure way to establish a remote connection from your iPhone to your workplace or home network.

Best VPNs for iPhone:

1. ExpressVPN: ExpressVPN is consistently ranked as one of the best VPN services for iPhone users. It offers a user-friendly iOS app with a simple interface and one-click connectivity. ExpressVPN boasts high-speed servers in 94 countries, strong encryption protocols, and a strict no-logs policy, ensuring your privacy and security are prioritized.
2. NordVPN: NordVPN is another top choice for iPhone users, offering a feature-rich iOS app with advanced security features. With NordVPN, you get access to a vast network of servers in 60 countries, double encryption for added security, and specialized servers for activities like streaming and torrenting. The app also includes a kill switch and DNS leak protection to safeguard your online activities.
3. CyberGhost: CyberGhost is known for its user-friendly iOS app and comprehensive privacy features. The app offers one-click connectivity to servers optimized for streaming, gaming, or torrenting, making it easy to access your favorite content securely. CyberGhost operates a network of over 7,000 servers in 91 countries and employs strong encryption to protect your data from prying eyes.
4. Surfshark: Surfshark is a budget-friendly VPN option that doesn't compromise on features or performance. The iOS app is intuitive and easy to use, with unlimited simultaneous connections, making it an excellent choice for users with multiple devices. Surfshark's network spans across 65 countries, and it offers strong encryption, a strict no-logs policy, and features like MultiHop and CleanWeb for enhanced security and privacy.
5. Private Internet Access (PIA): PIA is a trusted VPN provider with a long-standing reputation for privacy and security. The iOS app offers a clean and straightforward interface, along with features like split tunneling and customizable encryption settings. With over 29,000 servers in 77 countries, PIA provides reliable performance and excellent unblocking capabilities for accessing geo-restricted content on your iPhone.

Conclusion:
Using a VPN on your iPhone is an effective way to protect your online privacy, enhance your security, and access restricted content from anywhere in the world. With numerous VPN providers available for iOS devices, it's essential to choose a reputable service that offers strong encryption, a strict no-logs policy, and reliable performance. Whether you prioritize speed, security, or streaming capabilities, there's a VPN option out there to suit your needs and preferences.

I know this is gonna be long but pls pls read so I’m f 26 I’ve struggled with drug addiction in the past im 10 months clean I was using when I met my now ex boyfriend& sons dad male 27 (also former drug user ) we met in a NA meeting 🙄the whole time I’ve known him he’s been clean until he got off probation about 3 months ago . he gave me the stability I needed to get clean I was living out of my car prior I had a really big problem with running from my problems I had decided to stay single for about two years before him because he had his own place it toke me about 4 months of being with him for me to get off fety our relationship was so toxic in the beginning of our relationship I was on the “run” from the cops I had warrants out of two counties long story short I ended up getting picked up and going to jail on the jail calls he’d tell me he’s not leaving me there’s no one else for him well I found out I was pregnant by him about two week of me being in jail I asked for a test we had a feeling I was prior to going so they released me out of jail with a warrant from another county I come home I found out he had been sleeping with another girl he came to pick me up from the hospital with hickeys on his neck I ended up finding out he fcoed this girl and gave her my clothes to put on after he saw how hurt i was he blocked her before he came to get me she got salty and started messaging me saying “hey girl I have your shorts if you want them back 😉” me and he ended up getting in to it I ended up apologizing but she tried making me feel sorry for her which I did to an extent but she didn’t take into consideration how it felt to be me she only knew him for three days I was in jail pregnant by him and he was lying to me the whole time so me and him would fight all the time I would go to my mom’s for one night he would call me the next day, begging me to come home, telling me he didn’t talk to anybody or with anyone and I would believe him and come home and I would find out he had another girl sleeping in my bed this was an endless cycle of this happening plus every time we “broke up, “he would try to get a hold of the girl he cheated on me with I wouldn’t even consider a breakup. I would call it me leaving so we could cool down. We literally would get back together in the next day. He did this to me almost my whole pregnancy he put his hands on me fast-forward to September of last year. He had her blocked on everything but Snapchat because she had him blocked. She unblocked him and added him. And I picked up his phone and saw it and said something to him about it and I blocked her that was a Thursday Friday He comes home and starts an argument with me mind you I still had that warrant from the other county as soon as we start arguing, he walks outside and I thought it was weird so I walked outside. I was like what are you doing calling the cops he lied and said he was on the phone with his mom inside waited like five minutes and then walked back out as soon as I started walking towards him a cop car pull up I took off running in the woods behind the house he told them what I was wearing which I ran they ended up catching me. I went to jail. He told me he was going to throw all of my stuff out and he hopes that somebody would come steal it. I was on drugs at the time, but I had started taking methadone to get off of them. by the time he threw me in jail, I was barely using I went from doing a gram and a half a day. to doing barely a pinch at night I just had to wean myself down when he put me in jail, I didn’t get my methadone and I was pregnant doing drugs while pregnant is not right by any means and I don’t need backlash because it’s something I have to live with every day the fight wasn’t even that bad He said he threw me in jail to get me clean but he knew I was only gonna be in there over the weekend because it was on a Friday and the court wasn’t open till Monday so I sat there and detox while pregnant I started bleeding When you become pregnant if you’re using it it’s very dangerous to just immediately stop because if you go into withdrawals, it can make you go into pre-term labor. He didn’t put me in jail to get me clean he did it so he could try to screw the girl that he cheated on me with and tries to get with every time I leave to cool off I don’t even think the cop car pulled off and he was already messaging her he put me in jail so he could have the whole weekend to go do whatever he wanted knowing there was nothing I could do about it anyway we had a few more incidents of him talking to his exes all I ever wanted was a family not a broken one and I really really want to make it work with him. I didn’t want to be another person that gave up on him, but he kept hurting me. I ended up getting clean five months into our relationship relationship. I was three months pregnant fast-forward to me, baby. Things were good for about two months before I had the baby . in the hospital He did amazing. I ended up having to have an emergency C-section which I never had before and I have other kids so I end up getting prescribed 25 perk 10. Since I was on methadone. I can’t even abuse the pills if I wanted to because I wouldn’t feel them. Literally all they did for me would take the pain away. I left the hospital after 24 hours because they discharged me because my son went to Children’s Hospital. Because he was two weeks early. And just needed on a CPAP machine to help his lungs expand. His lungs just weren’t fully developed from him being a little early. But other than that, my baby was perfectly healthy. No he had no withdrawals at all of the methadone. So we go up to see our son and all the walking and having to sit in a chair and then getting up really made me sore and my legs were so swollen around 8 PM walking around all day and putting a number on my body I said I can’t take it and I need to take one of my pills I go to get my purse and get them and there’s two left mind you he did good the whole 14 months he was on probation had no slip ups but he had eaten 23 Percocets within a 10 hour time span I was so upset with him I thought it was so selfish because one more up here seeing our son for the first time what if I really would’ve needed those I was in pain he just took them to get high. We bring our baby home. everything’s going good for about two months he starts drinking while playing his PlayStation he turns into an every day thing for four weeks straight I had enough we got into an argument and he left for the night. I Got him to stop drinking another month goes by and he starts taking steroids and injecting them into his butt cheek that his friend got off the dark web so he doesn’t even know what he’s putting in his body it took about two weeks until I noticed he was getting really angry over nothing or the littlest things he would get mad when the baby would cry at night so I started sleeping on the floor next to the baby so I could get to the baby fast enough so it wouldn’t wake him up tell me when he wakes up in the morning he feels like he sees me sleeping on the floor he tells me to stop doing that and just start getting back in the bed so the next night I try to do that and withthin a six hour span at night I’ve gotten up to help the baby maybe three times I get back in the bed and he yells at me and says “damn dude your tripping you’ve gotten up like 14 times” which I hadn’t even before he was taking steroids he was really weird about his sleep. He absolutely absolutely did not like to be woken up. Or he would be really mean. When I was pregnant and had to get up to he would yell at me. So I would either try to be super quiet. And take a long time to get out of bed to not wake him up. Or I would just have to wait until his alarm went off. One time I accidentally woke him up 10 minutes before his alarm went off and he set his alarm for two more hours. And was late to work two hours. We got into a small argument about a week ago and he went to his mom’s house and came back I thought we were doing good and he was changing because I wasn’t hearing anything or seeing anything that had to do with that girl he kept trying to cheat on me he had her blocked but when I got on his phone the other day she was unblocked and I said to him I really thought you were changing, but you’re not I said I feel like the only way for me to get my point across to you is for me to do something like that to you and you have to beg me to stop like I do to you he said he doesn’t care about this girl like that. He just knows that it pisses me off and he wants to piss me off when he’s mad at me anyway, saying that sent him off the edge I might want to add that he goes through my phone and picks my phone up more than I do to go through it anytime anybody text me anytime my phone dings he grabs it I’ve never stepped outside our relationship no matter what he’s done to me. I can’t post pictures on Facebook because that means I’m looking for validation. I am a really pretty beautiful girl and I’m not saying that because I’m self-centered or cocky. Because I’m actually really insecure. But I do get a lot of attention. He doesn’t like that. I’m just trying to give you guy some context so you understand a little better Anyway, me saying that turns into a huge fight, I didn’t want him to leave so I hit his keys and he grabbed my phone. He broke my last one and I didn’t want this one I just gave him his keys. He started packing all his stuff to leave. Remind you, he has the vehicle the lease and electric was in his name I told him to give me back the baby‘s social he rips it up and throws it at me my son is three months old and can’t really do anything so when I’m not holding him, he likes to watch TV we can only stream TV/movies with Amazon prime and we have a Wi-Fi box that we literally got just for the baby he uses it too to play PlayStation he toke that While we were arguing, he grabbed me and started choking me, and shoving his palms into my mouth which busted my mouth open I had welts on my face from where he smacked me as well then just to make everything worse he turned the electric off knowing that I had to pay almost $1000 to put electric in my name knowing his son stays here with me if it wasn’t for the wonderful woman downstairs who ran extension cords once it got turned off, we would’ve been sitting in the heat and dark since I have nowhere to go. He did this all the day before the first. I am in a recovery program, which helps with bills. So they pay my half. Our rent is $800 so they paid my four. I used to be a dancer in Columbus. But it made me really depressed. I haven’t been working since I was pregnant and since I just had the baby not even three months today I was talking to sister which the girl who he keeps cheating on me with his friends with her, which is how he met her talk to her today and told her that her and my sons dad have been talking and that he was on his way over his sister told her don’t do it he did some really messed up stuff to(me) And asked her why she keeps doing this to herself because he’s always gonna choose me and he’s always gonna come back to me and that he’s just trying to get at me. He texted her telling her he didn’t expect her to ignore him when he was on his way to her house And now he feels bad because he knows it’s his fault that she’s treating him like this from what he’s done to her ( he’d message her when we’d separate and get her in her feelings then block her after a day or two cause we’d get back together ) he told me before he left he doesn’t want a “btch he just needs some p*say here and there “ when we would separate (for a night ) I would start freaking out, blowing him up, texting him and calling him from text free numbers because he would block me on everything I even would pay people to drive me around so I could try to find him because I’d be so afraid to give him the time to go mess around just to end up calling me the next day and getting back with me it just caused so much drama in our relationship I saw the landlord today got him taken off the lease and me put on I’m going to work at the club this weekend to pay the other half of the rent and I can get the electric turned on as well.. I’ve been doing this with him for over a year now he always comes back and it doesn’t take long. But I just can’t forgive him for bringing my son into this. It’s one thing to hurt me, but I can’t forgive somebody for being weird to my kid. I’m just so hurt that he could do this to me and our son but he’s pushed me for so long I know I’m not in love with him anymore I have love for him and I think just the security of him how he has a stable job and car He also left knowing that I had to be at court this week. And our son had two doctors appointments. I just feel so lost and don’t know what to do he was my favorite person but I can’t live like this I can’t put my son through this it’s not fair we deserve better 😔