Link to AO3
chapters 1&2
chapter 3
chapter 4
chapter 5
chapter 6
chapter 7
chapter 8
chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
The Academy looked normal enough from the distance but blew Gentry’s mind when she finally entered it. First of all, the way in lay through a massive winter garden full of the most luxurious botanical collection she’s ever seen. Not only that, but it seemed to be arranged in a way that offered spaces for hanging out as well as paths in and out. Here and there, G noticed little nooks with people’s voices coming from them and small murmuring streams gleamed in the sun that blazed through the transparent walls and roof. This place looked magical and invited to stay, enjoy the refreshing coolness and peace of mind. But Gentry had a good enough rest in her communal room the night before and was eager to start working on her first assignment that the System had spat out with a congratulating letter. Figuring out the controls of her new wristcomm was simple enough.
DEAR GENTRY!
WE ARE DELIGHTED TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE THE FIRST CONTESTANT TO CLEAR ALL CHALLENGES AND OBTAIN THE STATUS OF AN ASHTAPADAN NEWCOMER! YOUR MEDICAL DATA HAS BEEN ANALYSED AND FOUND ACCEPTABLE.
IN THE ATTACHMENT TO THIS LETTER YOU WILL FIND A LIST OF RULES, RECOMMENDATIONS AND IDEAS THAT WILL DEFINITELY HELP YOU IN THE FIRST WEEKS IN OUR BEAUTIFUL CITY BUT WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND FINDING A BUDDY THAT WOULD BE YOUR MAIN GUIDE AND POTENTIALLY A NEW GREAT FRIEND! IT CAN BE ANY CITIZEN OR A MORE EXPERIENCED NEWCOMER.
YOUR CURRENT POINTS: 0
WHY NOT START EARNING SOME WITH YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT?
START ANY BEGINNER COURSE AT THE ACADEMY AND KEEP YOUR ATTENDANCE RATE OVER 80% — WORTH 50 POINTS
(OPTIONAL) FIND SOMEBODY WHO IS WILLING TO BECOME YOUR BUDDY — WORTH 20 POINTS
Without stopping to check if the vending machines offered anything good, G made her way through the dreamy garden and entered the inner yard that looked just like everything here: nothing too eye-catching at first glance but secrets hidden everywhere.
One thing she had already noticed was that most of the people had another piece of technology on their bodies besides the comm on their wrists: a sort of extendable visor that some of them kept engaged at all times. Those who were focused on the screen had a comical look on their faces, a thousand-mile stare, eyes wide even as they were talking to each other or going about their business. It was unclear yet why they would engage the screen for so long though. No one needed this much time to read a notification or check a map.
Take a group of young students by the fountain, for example. They seemed deep in conversation with each other yet their pupils didn’t focus on the person in front, but on the translucent screen over the top part of their faces. Was it some kind of virtual reality helmet?
If so, G needed one, too.
Perhaps she’d be able to make new friends this way.
There was something else that caught Gentry’s eye. Despite her initial disappointment about the severe lack of male hotness in the streets, people of both sexes seemed to really care about their appearance. Even those who probably weren’t naturally stunning were very interesting to look at not least because of the crazy fashion sense everyone here had. Never before had G seen so much variety in what everyone wore: countless variations on different national garments, some looking very traditional, like something one could see in a theatre, some — futuristic uniforms straight out of a sci-fi movie. It didn’t seem like anyone was concerned with gender norms here, too. At least in when it came to the outfits.
G hoped she didn’t look like a creepy stalker when her gaze lingered on a pair of very nicely shaped legs stretching from underneath a plaid skirt that belonged to a young man in the group sat by the edge of the water. A pair of snow-white knee-highs, flat loafers and neat raven hair with some blue streaks completed the image. His clothes fit him very well and weren’t inappropriate in the least: something an old money university student would wear.
A female student that is.
And he wasn’t alone. Here and there, among more conventionally dressed people, there were people wearing all sorts of things: a crazy mix of goth-like apparel but barefoot, men and women with heads covered with scarves, people in strange jewelery that looked like it weighed a ton and so on. Most importantly, no one seemed to care what the others looked like.
Was it paradise? Looks like the demo didn’t lie: it was heaven on earth.
The young man in the middle of the student gaggle caught her staring after all. With a dazzling smile, he waved in her direction as if they were great friends, and G waved back, face heating, hoping there wasn’t anyone behind her this tease was actually waving at. Thank god his shoes weren’t heeled, otherwise she would definitely have a heart attack right here, in the middle of the common area, on her first day.
Did he notice her ogling his legs? Judging by the giggles of his friend's entourage, they all did. The young flirt covered his mouth, eyes wide in mock indignation and pulled his knees in, as if hiding them from the improper attention, getting even more laughter from the rest of the company. G averted her eyes and tried to calm her breathing as she was on her way through the yard again, but before they all disappeared from her field of view, she noticed the coquette stretch his legs again and fall back on a friend of his, embracing the lucky man’s neck in an affectionate gesture, already forgetting G existed.
There was no way she wasn’t going to make some pretty boy do the same for her. Forget the assignment, put that in the list of her top priorities!
At first, Gentry was lost when she failed to find any kind of class schedule and there was no one to ask at the reception desk.
Why have a reception desk if nobody’s on duty?
Soon, however, it occurred to her that there was no schedule: each room within the wide marble corridors had a small display with a handwritten message scribbled on it.
Bachata for beginners
Product engineering (Tuesday class cancelled)
Colloidal chemistry (revision today)
None of these were the Communications course that Jey was talking about, but the variety definitely made G’s eyebrows go up.
Was she just supposed to barge into any class and sign up? Did she have to sign up later if she liked the subject? Was it ok to choose any?
After some wandering around, too scared to just walk in uninvited or ask others for directions, she finally stumbled across the door saying:
Communication & decision making course (Newcomers welcome)
With the desks arranged in a horseshoe and the people of various ages that were also apparently Newcomers, it all seemed comfortably casual. Everyone was chatting as she walked in, paying G no mind so she busied herself with the wristcomm that dinged at exactly the right time to save her the embarrassment of looking for a desk.
Would you like to enroll in this course? Scroll down to read the description.
Was this damn thing a spying device? Did it just know which room she was in? Jey didn’t joke when she said the little thing was going to be her primary aid!
“Are you looking for somewhere to sit?” called a young red-haired woman at one of the paired desks. “Here, this one is free.” She had the auglasses on, like everyone else, but they were off, showing her lively face and a pair of sharp green eyes.
“Thanks,” G said, gratefully taking the offer. “I’m new here, don’t know how things work yet.”
“It’s alright, the course is very engaging, you’ll love it.” — the woman held out a hand — “I’m Sereen, what’s your name?”
G shook the warm palm. “It’s Gentry. And by new I mean I’m new to Ashtapada, not just the course. Literally arrived yesterday.”
“Really?” — S looked surprised — “Everything must be very confusing!”
“You have no idea,” G smiled. “I’m glad someone understands. Everyone’s friendly but acts as if giant mechanical dogs in the streets and a moss garden in the lobby are the most normal things ever.”
“Don’t worry, I was just like you when I first arrived, you’ll get the hang of it soon.”
“Hope so! Is that the lecturer?”
“Shhh...”
Just like everything else in Ashtapada, the lecture started out normal enough only to unfold into something completely alien to how things were normally done.
Apparently, the Communications course involved learning rationality, debating, logic, etiquette and god knew what else. It was supposed to give the future citizens tools to, well, communicate. G was given a booklet with some ground rules for beginners that included entries that sounded like something Sun Tzu would say if he studied debating instead of warcraft.
“The purpose of any argument is not to win it and not to change the other disputant’s mind. It’s to find the truth.”
“Always argue in good faith.”
“Don’t attack your opponent.”
“If attacked, dismiss the attack as if it didn’t happen.”
Well, hopefully, it only meant verbal attacks! G knew too well that when it came to physical violence, it was hard to ignore it.
Most of the rules looked straightforward enough, some were confusing.
“Seek challenge to your convictions. Avoid echo chambers.”
“Don’t seek being right.”
“Be mindful of your audience including yourself.”
“Avoid “Empty arguments” that don’t bring everyone closer to the goal of finding the truth.”
The lecturer, a willowy man of about sixty that drowned in his tweed jacket, started the class with a bit of small talk with the regulars after distributing the booklets to all first-timers. He made sure to give it to G face down so that his photo under the “About the author” title didn’t go unnoticed. He also made most of the “talk” part himself.
“I never took part in a debate,” G told Sereen, who was patiently waiting for the class to begin. “And never seen anything like these rules. Is it actually useful?”
“Oh, believe me, professor Poe will be ecstatic to talk to you about them. He can’t not start discussing his subject at the slightest provocation. Look.” — she raised her hand — “Professor, how was your weekend?”
The man wearily smiled. “That might seem like a meaningless question, Sereen, but it’s actually very much related to the topic we are going to cover today.”
“See?” — S raised her eyebrows with a suppressed smile. G giggled. This promised to be interesting.
“Our friend Sereen is a very polite person, isn’t she?” — Poe smiled at the class but his eyes glided over everyone’s faces, gaze turned inwards like he was reading an invisible text written on the walls. “But as kind as she is, I don’t think she’s actually interested in how my weekend went. Small talk is just a social custom we engage in to strengthen our social relations. Why don’t we just start a day by saying “Hi! I value our relationship and would like to fulfill my societal role!” to everyone we know? I would definitely prefer THAT over the small talk! He-he!”
The audience laughed politely. The guy seemed alright.
“However, just as we use different tools to fulfill this role in different contexts, so can the context of a logical problem steer our thinking towards a rational, that is, right, and an irrational, that is, wrong, answer.”
“Well, that’s not a given,” Gentry mumbled under her breath but it went unnoticed by S, who was already immersed in the lecture.
“Consider the famous René Descartes’s quote "Cogito, ergo sum". Who can translate it from Latin?” — the board behind the thin, almost transparent man glowed, displaying the words.
“Is it really a Beginner’s course?” G asked Sereen in a low voice but her companion was already raising her hand, together with a dozen other students.
“I think, therefore I am,” she said after a curt nod of the lecturer’s permission.
“Very good,” he continued, pleased. “I taught you well. Those of you who attend my lectures regularly are familiar with the notion of solipsism, which states that the only thing we can be sure about is our own thoughts.”
Gentry looked at S with raised eyebrows.
If this is an introductory course, what was the advanced like?
Sereen didn’t seem to perplexed. She was fully following the thread.
“However,” professor Poe said. “I am going to challenge that notion by demonstrating that we can’t trust our own mind when it comes to perceiving reality.”
He looked at the audience with a quizzical eye, and pointed at Gentry with a long bony finger “You, new girl. I want you to close your eyes.”
Why her?
Gentry was only happy to hide behind her eyelids. No doubt the whole room was now staring at her.
Through the blood rushing in her ears, she heard the old man’s voice, “Who was sitting beside you before you closed your eyes?”
“My new friend Sereen,” G answered and heard a little gasp of appreciation from the woman.
“So you know she existed as long as you two were whispering behind my back. However, now that you can’t see or hear her. How do you know she exists?”
“Well, I can reach with my hand and touch her,” Gentry said, demonstrating.
“Yes, this is what most people answer,” Poe said. “You can open your eyes now. But let me ask you this: how would you know it was her, an not some other person that took her place?”
Gentry’s intuition was right: everyone was staring, as if waiting for her answer.
“Well, I suppose— ”
“Hush, it was a rhetorical question,” the professor cut her off. “The correct answer is that you can’t know that. We think we can trust our senses or at least our thoughts, but this is also false. Everyone, look out of the window.”
Everyone did.
The day was as fine as Gentry was annoyed.
What did this pops think of himself?
“I’d ask what you see, but I already know the answer,” he went on. “All of you would say “the sky”. And all of you would be wrong, because sky doesn’t exist. We only see the endless emptiness of the outer space, but perceive it as a blue dome. It’s an illusion, a phantom, born out of our collective unconscious.”
Sereen whispered, lost in the lecture, “Ah, yes, Carl Jung.”
What?
Was it supposed to be obvious?
“But listen to this,” he continued, voice booming like a demiurge’s in the completely silent room. “Listen to this. How many words is it? Listentothis. Our common sense says it’s three words while in reality it’s just a string of sounds I an producing with my mouth. I am literally making you hallucinate the spaces between the words I’m saying. With knowing that our perception is so flawed, how can we know that we even know how to think?”
“I’m sorry, professor, I disagr...” G started but got struck down by his serrated gaze.
“I’ll invite questions at the end, young miss,” he chopped out.
Sereen’s eyes were sympathetic. It looked like most if not all of professor Poe’s students had learned not to interrupt him.
He went on, “Anyway, the fact that you even understand what I am saying is in itself incredible and shouldn’t be possible.”
“But it IS possible, right?” G whispered to Sereen. “I mean, aren’t we understanding this as he speaks?”
“PLEASE refrain from talking unless asked!” professor Poe roared.
Impressive lung capacity for such a frail human being!
G begrudgingly did as she was told. The guy seemed to be enjoying this power trip a bit too much to her taste.
“Now, since most of you,” he put some emphasis on the word to shut up another pair of whispering students. “Most of you think you comprehend my words, you must know that there is a way to tell that something is real, even though we can’t rely on our senses for perception. I’m giving you a minute to discuss with your partners what it might be.”
G considered it. She and Sereen exchanged equally confused glances.
Like a dutiful student, S started summarising Poe’s arguments but Gentry listened with only half an ear. She felt that behind all this over-thinking was a clear and simple answer.
She watched the professor walk along the aisles, tuning into one or another conversation before leaving each with a smug head shake of disapproval.
What was there to think about? Even if they didn’t see the world precisely as it was, something was definitely real, right? The chair she felt under her buttocks, the air around, the low murmur of the students. The annoying professor that… looked a little too translucent.
Gentry waited for the man to approach their desks and tune into Sereen’s musings. As he came so near they could reach out and touch him, Gentry did just that.
To her utter shock, her hand went through the old jacket and sent a wave of static over the professor’s figure, his whole form glitching and flickering.
Professor Poe was a hologram!
Unable to help herself, Gentry said, “No wonder you don’t think anything is real, Professor, you are hardly real yourself!”
The whole roomful of people stared, transfixed, at the surreal scene of a student’s arm disappearing into the teacher’s abdomen.
Gentry looked back at Sereen in search of support.
Was it laughter in her eyes?
Poe’s blood drained from his face, the mouth slacked open, twitching as if trying to form some words, but none came out.
Sereen chimed in, “You never told us you were a simulation, Professor.”
“Out!” Poe gritted lowly so that no one really heard him.
“I’m sorry?” G asked, innocently.
“Out of my class!” he exploded, jumping out of Gentry’s reach with an enraged grimace. “I am as real as you are!”
G stood up and looked at her hand then back at Professor Poe.
How much rage could storm in those watery eyes?
Then, she winked at her new friend.
“Let’s go then, shall we?” she said.
Sereen looked lost for a second, her eyes darting pack and forth between Gentry and Poe. Then, her gaze seemed to cloud a little, as if she retreated into her own head, but when she resurfaced, she nodded with a mischievous smile.
Both young women left the room, the classmates’ sympathetic silence and Poe’s angry seething seeing them off.
***
“What a way to start my first day,” Gentry said. “My hands are still trembling a bit.”
She and S were calming their nerves in the green winter garden, the soothing sound of the little running streamlet at their feet a welcome distraction.
“Believe it or not, his course is actually quite useful,” Sereen laughed. “Who would have thought the old Poe is actually not human? I guess we never thought of poking him in the stomach before. This is going to be the talk of the Academy for the next month or so!”
“Is it? I feel bad now. I guess I’m not getting any points for attending this lecture, right?” — Gentry checked her wristcomm — “It says “zero progress” and something else… ad.. Honi… adhonim…”
Sereen laughed, “Yeah, you adhominem’ed good old Poe, no wonder you got zero credit!”
“What does it mean?”
“You’ve seen the rules of learning and discourse, right?” S said. “There are no-nos, things that aren’t allowed, especially when it comes to Rationality classes and the like. Ad Hominem means an attack on the speaker, not their argument. It isn’t exactly what you did, but I guess it’s the closest thing!”
“Ad Hominem, huh,” G said. “Well, I guess I deserve it then. Thanks for standing by me.”
If it wasn’t for Sereen, G wasn’t sure she would be going to return to the Academy any time soon!
“You just chose a wrong course as your first class, G,” — no doubt about that! — “But another lecturer who works here is much more open-minded and he also teaches Rationality. I think you’ll enjoy him more than our old Poe. His next class is in a couple of days. Wanna come?”
***
DEAR GENTRY!
CONGRATULATIONS ON COMPLETING AN OPTIONAL ASSIGNMENT! 20 POINTS HAVE BEEN ADDED TO YOUR STATUS COUNTER.

"In the heart of this darkness, the human spirit alit and led the world to peace. The contest between the Surgix and the Arfim had escalated and the Surgix had shown that they were capable of harmful actions equal to those that humans are capable of. The Surgix continued to cause harm to the Arfim until the humans intervened. It is not the fault of the humans that the Surgix refused to cease, and that the humans resorted to eliminating all of the Surgix and dismantling their infrastructure with the use of projected explosive tools they categorize as 'weapons'. The humans obviously hesitated when the Surgix were in orbit to continue the contest. See the evidence that the humans attempted to warn the Surgix that they were being perceived as a threat before they reduced the star fleet to zero." Grand Defender Osowl Fitten described the actions of the humans of Tarnak. To the humans in the courtroom, she looked like some kind of armored sea otter and her setting on the servo preferred to translate her words in the voice of Park Eun-Bin, a human she admired. Her defense relied on showing that the humans had fought humanely and to protect the Arfim from the aggressions of the Surgix.
"In conclusion, I'd like to mention that projections of what the Surgix would have done to the Arfim would result in the extinction of the Arfim, had not the humans intervened. Because the humans do not have the means or the methods that would have resolved this any other way, their only other option would be to step aside and allow the Surgix to continue their campaign against the Arfim. It is not in human nature to stand idle and watch innocents suffer, without feeling compelled to intervene.
We have already accepted human nature, but we have not accepted the human species into Cave Gods And Friends Association. Since humans are not part of our allegiance, should their actions be held to our governing, or to our policies? Should they be required to follow our rules, and also receive no privileges or protections? The humans acted independently, and yet, with the exception of the nature of their actions, the spirit of their efforts does seem to align with our way of doing things."
Osowl Fitten sat down and closed her flax-colored eyes. Behind her the commanders of the human military were seated, wearing their uniforms with chevrons representing their degree of knowledge of warfare, a distinctly human endeavor. Unfortunately, the degree of human warfare so greatly exceeded the nasty business of the Surgix horde, that the result was the swift and efficient eradication of all Surgix equipment, fortifications and the Surgix themselves, who were actually killed by the humans - but only as a last resort when the Arfim refugees were pursued into human territory. Images of the humans firing warning shots and using sound amplifiers with recordings of Surgix in distress to attempt to warn the Surgix before they committed to using harmful actions on them.
When nothing would stop the Surgix advance, the humans were triggered into a state of war, and then they used harmful actions to remove all things Surgix, resulting in a morbid peace, during which the Arfim began to recover and rebuild, with human assistance.
"Ladies and gentlemen, bringers of peace and harmony, esteemed artists, conflict-resolvers, lend to me your attention." The Blue Light Watcher, a species the humans saw as anthropomorphic tarantulas, had a device that instantly spoke in perfect mechanical English, whatever her urticators vibrated. Her name was Exalted Inquisitor Ghox Byle, and like Osowl Fitten, she had an exceptionally successful career.
"Two years ago, the Surgix sued for peace. This is because the humans attacked them on Tarnak IV, the last remaining colony of the Surgix in the Tarnak System. The severity and brutality of this attack must be noted. It does not show any sort of restraint until after the Surgix surrendered. Even after the Surgix had surrendered, individual human soldiers killed Surgix that were trying to surrender. Therefore, despite the description of the Battle of Tarnak and the repelled Surgix Invasion of Tarnak, there was a third, much darker chapter in which the human generals decided to attack the remaining Surgix forces before they could possibly launch a second invasion attempt.
This sort of excessive use of violence is a uniquely human capability. Not even the Surgix were ready to engage humans in this sort of contest. The Surgix have renounced war, disarmed themselves and have applied for membership in Cave Gods And Friends Association. The humans, they don't even want to join, they have said to us that they don't need our guidance, that they are capable of making moral choices on their own. This arrogance, coupled with their extreme capabilities in conflict resolution, should mean that those among us who have made preparations to deal with the humans, should be allowed to utilize those preparations." Exalted Inquisitor Ghox Byle concluded.
Osowl Fitten stood alone in the interrogation suite. The memory of that courtroom moment was considered by the Sunder tribunal. No Cave Gods were summoned, and Osowl had already stated that she found this to be a court-martial, and her compulsory cooperation was only because her friends were held captive.
An artificial human-sounding voice, not too different from a famous K-Pop singer from the twenty-second century of the humans before their ascension spoke disembodied, translated from the Sunder administration's shadow government, on some distant moon in the Basilik system.
"You think the humans are just trying to get help from the Sunder to make new weapons in preparation for a possible invasion by the Unknown. Why wouldn't you consider that we have no recognition of this mythology? We are not as sentimental about superstitions as the Cave Gods, and we will be the judges this time, for once. No Cave Gods will sit there groveling in prayer and meditation trying to make some higher moral decision. It has become tedious."
"You disregard what unites us. Your cowardice is beneath me. Take me to a proper courtroom and we will formally debate this. Where is Eshka Layenna?" Osowl's eyes were bright red and tinted with jagged black veins. She was outraged by the indignity.
"We have decided to dispose of the prisoners on a timeline aligned with the conclusion of these proceedings." The Sunder said, oddly accenting the English, as though the voice preferred another language, and it was just one more layer to the indignations.
"You show them these defenses of mine, then?" Osowl flittered a yellow shimmer across her eyes and fell silent, considering a different approach.
"Well, are you without any argument? This concludes these proceedings." The hidden Sunder spoke.
"You would not consider the thespian nature of our arrest to be sufficient trade, to warrant our expedition a circus, and therefore overturn the verdict?" Osowl asked. "When I leave I will mention these proceeding concluded with such a question. Perhaps you will consider your reputation as ruthful judges to prioritize over the satisfaction of a precedent of victory over human crime won only with this silly court-martial."
"Uh. No. Well. Actually, we have reconsidered. We admit such a question is entered into these proceedings and that we have heard that question."
"And?" Osowl prompted their response, making a prompting coughing noise.
"We have noted the popularity and uniqueness of the Phoenix Hawk's arrival classifies it as a circus, technically. If that is really what you are claiming, and not to buy weapons?"
"I never intended to buy weapons, nor can I confirm that my companions expected to be able to either. Mostly we just wanted to visit and articulate in-character the mythologies you have said are never more than sentiment. Sounds to me like a circus." Osowl had already thought of her words before they asked, and answered with a quickness that assured her veracity was intact.
"In that case, the verdict is overturned. Unbelievable." said the voice of the Sunder.
"One more thing. Since Eshka Layenna is now free, I veto her reparations be in the form of restoring all forms of her authority as an Exalted Inquisitor, that way you aren't embarrassed by these proceedings." Osowl big brained.
"Of course. That makes perfect sense." the voice decided.
Eshka Layenna was released and her authority was restored promptly. She took her seal and issued a command for the research and development of mass-scale plasma shielding that might protect a fleet of ships from bombardment in space and the manufacture of all forms of ammunition on Admiral Jinar's shopping list. This infuriated Administrator Ihanna Kelele, who was obligated to obey the orders.
As they left, the humans asked about Tarnak IV and Tarnac, the home world of the Riftin. It turned out they were coincidentally named very similarly, but the two planets were in different systems and quite distinct. The humans thought this was funny for some reason.
"Historically your species has the most adaptive sense of humor, but I fear the Riftin might give you humans a run for your money?" Osowl attempted, botching it horribly.
"No! - that's just hilarious, a what for our what?" Jinar and her soldier died laughing.

If you ask other RVers which national park is their favorite, someone is bound to mention Joshua Tree National Park in Southern California. It's a camper's paradise with wide open space and panoramic views.
Most evenings, the landscape glows at golden hour, and the sky turns from red hot at sunset to dark blue and star-filled at night. You can enjoy the remoteness of the park but also its proximity to Palm Springs and the Coachella Valley.
Take the time during your visit to enjoy the endless roads of the desert landscape, play on the rock formations, and, of course, marvel at the Joshua Trees.

Why Visit Joshua Tree National Park?

The first reason to visit Joshua Tree National Park is to see its famous and fascinating Joshua Trees. Since the Mojave desert is the only place in the world where they grow naturally, Joshua Tree National Park is the best place to see them.
These trees range between 15-40 feet tall and can live an impressive 150 years. They’re members of the Yucca family and appear as though they're from a different planet, with limbs unpredictably jetting out like they have their own minds.
Another great reason to visit Joshua Tree National Park is the warm weather and abundance of sunshine. It’s no secret that RVers love to snowbird and the Californian desert is a wonderful place to be during the spring and fall months. You’ll enjoy sunny days and clear nights, perfect for dry camping with solar panels.

When to Visit Joshua Tree National Park

Joshua Tree National Park is open year-round, but the best times to visit are during the spring and fall months. Park elevations range from 536 feet to 5,814 feet above sea level, so expect conditions to vary depending on where you go in the park.
Here’s more information on the seasonal weather in Joshua Tree.

Spring

Spring is a very popular time in the park because the temperatures range from the mid-60s in February to the mid-70s in April. Depending on the year, wildflower blooms can be seen in the latter part of spring at the lower elevations within the Pinto Basin.

Summer

Due to extreme desert heat (+100℉ days are the norm), the park is pretty quiet during the summer. Late in the summer, monsoon season hits Joshua Tree, which cools down the daytime temperatures but can also lead to flash flooding in valleys and ravines.

Fall

Monsoon season continues into the fall, but it soon gives way to one of the best times to visit. Temperatures from August into October fall from the upper 90s into the low 80s, and evening temperatures range from the low 70s to the low 50s, on average.

Winter

In the heart of winter, the park's average daily temperature is 60 degrees Fahrenheit, which is perfectly comfortable, but the nights get cold and often drop to freezing. Overnight temperatures in December and January average in the mid-30s.
Check the park’s website for the latest weather alerts and condition updates.

Where to Stay

Joshua Tree National Park is pretty remote and expansive. You'll want to stay a few days. Unlike other national parks, there are no lodges or resorts for overnight accommodations. There are eight developed campgrounds, however, and camping out under the stars at Joshua Tree is an unforgettable experience.
Here are a few important things to be aware of ahead of time if you plan to camp in Joshua Tree.

Reservation versus First-Come, First-Served

Four of the developed campsites require reservations. They’re larger than the first-come, first-served campgrounds, and some offer water and flush toilets. These campgrounds fill up very quickly. We recommend planning well in advance.

Reservation Required Campgrounds

• Black Rock Campground
• Cottonwood Campground
• Indian Cove Campground
• Jumbo Rocks Campground

Black Rock and Cottonwood are the most developed campgrounds (water, toilets, sanitation dump) and are the only campgrounds you can stay in if you have a larger rig.
Black Rock has six sites that can accommodate rigs with a total length (tow vehicle included) of 38-40 feet and seven sites up to 42 feet. Cottonwood has around twenty-five campsites that can accommodate rigs slightly longer than 35 feet.
Indian Cove and Jumbo Rocks both have a few spots for RVs up to 35 feet in total length. If you have a rig larger than 35 feet, site availability may be considerably limited.

First-come, First-served Campgrounds

These campgrounds are great options if you have a smaller rig and the good fortune of securing a site. During the popular season, these campgrounds fill every weekend and often during the week, as well.

• Belle Campground
• Hidden Valley Campground
• Ryan Campground
• White Tank Campground

These are primitive campgrounds, so you will need to bring (and carry out) everything you’ll need during your stay.

Staying Outside the Park

If you’re unable to find a site in the park or you’re looking for a campground with more amenities, here are a few nearby campgrounds:

• TwentyNine Palms RV Resort and Cottages: About 10 minutes from the north entrance.
• Sam’s Family Spa and Resort: About 45 minutes from the main visitor center.
• Catalina Spa and RV Resort: About 50 minutes from the main visitor center.
• Palm Springs Oasis RV Resort: About 45 minutes from the south entrance.
• Indian Waters RV Resort and Cottages: About 30 minutes from the south entrance.

Invest in a Good Sam Membership and save 10% on nightly stays at Good Sam Campgrounds.

Tips for Your Camping Stay

• Reservations for the reservable campgrounds can be made up to six months in advance.
• Reserve using the links below or by calling 1-877-444-6777.
  • Black Rock Campground
  • Cottonwood Campground
  • Indian Cove Campground
  • Jumbo Rocks Campground
• No campgrounds in the park offer electric RV hookups.
• Generator use is restricted to 7-9 am, noon-2 pm, and 5-7 pm.
• Hammocks are not permitted in campgrounds and must be hung from rocks or climbing bolts elsewhere to protect the park’s sensitive vegetation.
• Backpacking is permitted in the park, but it requires more advanced planning and preparation.

How To Get Around

Nestled between I-10 and California SR 62, Joshua Tree is located in Southeastern California and is easy to access. Several towns nearby, including Palm Springs, Indio, and Twentynine Palms, make perfect supply stops before entering the park.
Indio is the last best stop on I-10 if you’re entering the park from the south. The park’s south entrance is located off Exit 168, about 30 minutes east of Indio. The park also offers a west entrance on Quail Springs Road, about 10 minutes southeast of the town of Joshua Tree. And the north entrance is just ten minutes south of Twentynine Palms on Utah Trail.
Several paved roads allow you to traverse the park, but going from site to site can require long drive times. The most frequented sites are located near the northern edge of the park, so if you’re coming from the south along I-10, you’ll be driving through the park for an hour or so before you spot your first Joshua Tree.

Places to Go

There are many places to visit in the park that offer a variety beyond the infamous trees. It’s a unique location that features the intersection of two desert ecosystems.

Cholla Cactus Garden

The Cholla Cactus Garden is its own special area and is unlike any other part of the park. Be sure to enjoy the flat, ¼-mile nature trail to get the best look at the cacti. This patch of cacti is incredible because it mostly consists of Teddybear Cholla, which is the star of the cactus world.
The Cholla Cactus Garden is so impressive, and you’ll love snapping photos of these majestic plants. Their beauty changes throughout the day depending on how the sunlight hits them. A small word of advice, look but don’t touch. Ouch!

Arch Rock

Arch Rock is a very popular rock formation located a half-mile from White Tank Campground. The loop trail is easy to follow and a perfect activity for the whole family. Of course, the Arch Rock itself is the thing people most want to see, but there's lots of space to wander around and explore the other rock formations, too.
It’s also a very popular place for night photography and stargazing. If interested, White Tank Campground is a really convenient place to stay because of its proximity to the trailhead.

Keys View

Keys View is a popular lookout that offers incredible panoramic views of the park and the Coachella Valley. If beautiful scenery is your thing, make sure to visit Keys View. It’s about a 20-minute drive from the main road to the lookout via Keys View Rd.

Ryan Mountain

One of the most popular activities in the park is the hike to Ryan Mountain. This 3-mile round trip trail leads to the summit, where you’ll be treated to sweeping 360-degree views. The hike is listed as challenging by the NPS, so be sure to bring plenty of water and expect changing weather conditions.

Things to Do

The combination of the Mojave Desert and the Colorado Desert makes Joshua Tree a wonderful desert wilderness to explore. Here are some of the most popular activities in the park:

Hiking

Hiking is a great way to get off the road and experience more of the desert landscape. The National Park Service offers plenty of safety tips for hiking in Joshua Tree, and here are some of the park’s most popular trails:

• Barker Dam Trail: An easy 1.1-mile trail with interpretive exhibits containing information on park history. It’s a popular place for viewing bighorn sheep from a safe distance.
• Oasis of Mara Trail: A 0.5-mile trail to explore a desert oasis and learn how it’s harbored human and animal life for centuries.
• Lost Horse Mine Trail: A moderate 4-mile out and back trail to explore what was once the area’s most successful gold mine.
• Mastodon Peak Trail: A moderate 3-mile loop trail with an optional scramble to the top of a granite peak.
• Lost Palms Oasis Trail: A challenging 7.5-mile out and back trail down a canyon to one of the park’s most remote fan palm oases.

The Park Service DOES NOT recommend attempting challenging hikes in the heat due to the elevated risk of sun exposure and dehydration.

Mountain Biking

The majority of the park’s paved roads are not suitable for road cycling. However, several backcountry roads are perfect for mountain bikes. There are even three campsites within Ryan Campground dedicated to cyclists.
Be aware that bikes are only allowed on roads open to vehicle traffic but that the main park roads do not offer bike lanes or wide shoulders. Consult the park’s website for safety tips and road recommendations before biking in Joshua Tree.

Photography

Photographers love Joshua Tree because of the variety it contains. From sunrise to sunset, photographers can find landscapes, animal inhabitants, and even human visitors to place in frame.
Commercial photography does require a permit, and if you’re interested in expanding your knowledge, the Desert Institute offers field courses in partnership with the Joshua Tree National Park Association.

Stargazing

Stars can be hard to come by in urban areas like San Diego and Los Angeles, but Joshua Tree is a different story. Designated as an International Dark Sky Park, it offers some of the best stargazing in all of Southern California.
After the sun goes down, keep your headlamp in red light mode to preserve your night vision. Your eyes will need less time to adjust when you lie down to see how many shooting stars you can count!

Rock Climbing

Rock climbing, in addition to bouldering and slacklining, is another great activity to enjoy in the park. To date, there are more than 8,000 known climbing routes, over 2,000 bouldering problems, and numerous natural rock gaps that make the perfect spot to set up a slackline.
On a busy weekend, the park may have hundreds of climbers enjoying their slice of this monzogranite mecca. So be sure to follow Leave No Trace Principles and familiarize yourself with the park’s climbing management plan before your visit.

What to Bring and How to Prepare

• The desert can be dangerous, and the weather can change quickly. Check the forecast frequently and pack layers to prepare for changing conditions.
• The remote location means there is no cell service in many parts of the park. Communicate your plans to loved ones or authorities ahead of time, especially if traveling alone.
• Investing in a cell signal booster may improve cell reception in areas with limited service.
• A quality camping cooler is a great way to keep food and beverages cold in the heat of the desert.
• Bring an extra canopy tent and ensure your awning is in good condition so you can escape direct sunlight during the heat of the day.
• Keep up with air conditioner maintenance to regulate the temperature inside your RV.
• For the latest info on visiting Joshua Tree, visit their website: Joshua Tree National Park.

Brief History of Joshua Tree National Park

Despite its harsh desert environment, humans have inhabited the area that is now Joshua Tree for more than 5,000 years. In the modern era, the biggest threats to this natural environment were land developers and cactus poachers.
In the late 1920s, a Pasadena resident named Minerva Hoyt began voicing her concerns about the unregulated removal of cacti and other desert plants to be used in home gardens throughout Los Angeles.
In a relatively short time, her conservation efforts resulted in the formation of the Joshua Tree National Monument in 1936. The original protected area encompassed roughly 825,000 acres but was reduced by about 265,000 acres in 1950 when the Park Service excluded certain mining parcels in the eastern part of the park.
On Halloween in 1994, the Desert Protection Bill passed and Joshua Tree was elevated to national park status. The bill also added back approximately 234,000 acres of what had been lost in the 50s.
Plan your next trip to the national parks in an RV. Rent an RV, trade-In your RV, or buy a new or used RV and start traveling for less than $5 a day.
Have you been to Joshua Tree National Park? Share your tips and advice in the comments below.

Don't get me wrong. Pay is great, work is steady depending on where you work in the facilities, breaks are nice (again depending where you work, i hear horror stories from the cashiers), and generally? not a terrible vibe on third shift which is a god-send from the normal rabble.
What makes the job awful, much like any location, is the management. We've got several managers, much like any store, and of course they have their "favorites" who get away with everything barring murder. Some that walk around doing nothing all day, some that just sit in the wrong departments chatting, leaving the customers without help, some that ignore the customers asking for assistance as a whole, even a few that due the famous "U-turn" where they go back and forth from the bathroom and breakroom all night before clocking out. Everything we say about these individuals; in one ear, out the other. whether it's to HR, CXM, mod, directly to the individual in question or the boss of the store. Due to the crazy loops and mountain of paper-trailing required, the damage is already heavily implemented before anything can be freaking done about them, making the job twenty times harder than it needs to be.
Then you got the workers who bust their butt to make ends meet getting treated worse than the dirt you stand on because of these headaches. This goes on for every shift, but i need to focus on my own experiences through the third shift stress and tension as it has been getting extremely volatile. Between the problems above and a hard-headed manager interested in rushing to complete tasks over the safety of the worker, and the lack of stable workers since only 3 of us are full time + 2 part timers who do, essentially, full time hours, the strain on the night crew is insane. What sent me over the edge though wasn't the work.. oh no. I can handle the work load because whatever we don't get done is still there the next night. It's not hard to pick up where we left off and by the end of the week 99% of the time everything is done.
Below in the spoiler will be a pretty hefty rant of my experience involving what finally made me register my hard work means nothing. That we're simply replaceable fodder, and that our safety, no matter how much they plaster it as their priority, means nothing.

Back in January the area i live in experienced a pretty big storm. Didn't think much of it at the time, i've ridden my E-bike (my only source of transport) in storms before, even in the snow! But, unlike usual this storm had caused flash flooding. I had reached a particular point in the ride where I couldn't progress. The roads that legally allowed my bike to travel out of where I live had become flooded by nearly 6 inches of high speed water, with spots going as deep as a foot and more due to road conditions. Roads surrounding my route were also being slowly closed off as the storm continued and ubers were cancelling in the area (or outright rejecting rides due to the dangerous conditions.), making it progressively harder to get around. It was 10 minutes til work, and i still had 20 minutes to ride, and a 15 minute ride back home if something went wrong.
I pulled over at this intersection that was flooded and checked the news for the area. Local news networks labeled it a "local emergency", so i called it in, told my boss at night i wouldn't be able to make it due to the unsafe driving conditions and progressively worsening weather closing down major roads. He 'understood', told me it would not effect my points as it was a weather situation, and that several others were calling for similar problems. I returned home now soaked and the bike had to be carefully serviced to avoid any lasting damage from the heavy storm. Not a huge issue but annoying none the less.
Fast forward two weeks and i get brought into the office where the CXM and my boss are... and asked the famous line. "Do you know why you're back here?"
I truly had no idea, so i joked it off, I had won a recent raffle for 3 board-games, so I made the comment it was because I hadn't brought those home yet.
The CXM smiled, then said it was because i had received my 4th point for calling out without sick time. Now, mind you, I have no idea what's going on at this point. I knew i had missed 3 days (once in September, 2 times in october from bike issues leaving me on the road without a way in due to the battery dying.). So i asked where this 4th point was coming from. He mentions the day of the flood, my boss, who is keeping his mouth shut, looks away from me when he says this. At this point I sit down, rather miffed at this point because i was assured that it was okay due to it being a safety concern, and that others were calling out with similar issues without a problem.
I'm stunned at this point. Taking a seat at the wall, the night assistant manager closes the door behind me and the cxm begins to lay into me the normal spiel, about how they expect all workers to be punctual and that this was a writeup, and how i "needed to understand what was being said". The whole time he's smiling, I wasn't. I told him what I was told on the phone, that I was cleared due to the weather conditions and that a point wasn't on my record the last time i checked (which i was checking regularly the first week because i truly expected something like this to happen, and stopped checking 4 days prior to the meeting. This happened 2 weeks later on a Wednesday.) -The cxm says it doesn't matter what i'm told on the phone. And that I should have called an uber. -I told him that ubers were cancelling rides due to the roads closing. -He tells me to order a taxi instead then. Now. I'm getting riled up at this point. My leg it tapping, i'm clearly not happy, and the way the cxm is talking to me is actively pushing for a response like this as he continues to smile and REPEATS "do you understand why you're getting this write-up" over, and over, and over again. -The night shift boss is still not making eye contact with me. -So, I stare straight at the cxm and respond to his question. "I understand that I have 3 points, but the 4th point I do not agree with. I was told that I was okay, and that the local news had declared it an emergency. I do not agree with that fourth point." -They both look at me, and I continue to look directly at the cxm. I'm still pretty relaxed at this point even if i'm agitated mentally and tapping my foot. I just want to get back to work at this point because I know the cxm is on a power-trip based on his body language and how much he's smiling. However, it really shown when that smile went away at me saying that comment. The cxm folded his hands, his smile gone and said "look, you want me to be blunt? I don't care what you agree with, you just need to understand you're being written up for 4 points of missed work. I can't let you leave until you agree."
THAT shifted my whole mood. I went from calm, to alert. My foot stopped tapping, I sat back in the chair and I was glaring at the cxm at this point. I was LIVID. The night manager STILL wouldn't look at me, instead he was watching the cxm. So i stayed focused on him as well. I folded my arms, and gave my full attention to him.
He repeated "Do you understand why you're being given this formal write-up?" again, and I, again, said I didn't agree with it. He AGAIN said he didn't care what I agreed or thought was right. and he just needed me to agree with it. So. I said what he wanted me to say. "I understand i'm being written up for a point I don't agree with"
As if MOCKING me, he again repeats "do you understand you can't keep missing days like this?"
I stayed DEAD SILENT at this point, and he leaned forward and looked at me with a big ol' smile. and told me to "stop staring at me with that death-glare, it's not working on me, buddy"
I was fuming. I was NOT going to be treated like a tool like that for taking my own safety into consideration during a local emergency for the job to tell me I was still in the wrong TWO WEEKS AFTER the event happened.
I was forced to agree, because I was sick and tired of staring at him and getting nowhere. So i repeated the comment like a good little drone and left. God i wish i knew i could have commented in that signing page that i signed under protest, course I was so pissed off i doubt i'd have even realized where to write it if i had known. I signed the "admission of guilt" crap, and immediately went to speak to the main boss of the store. Took two more weeks to get ahold of him, and he agreed it sounded very unusual. Main boss went to HR with clarification on how to handle it because even he wasn't too sure on it.
Two weeks after that, i touched base with the main boss. AND HE AGREED THAT I HAD NOT DESERVED THAT POINT OR THE WRITEUP. HR had come back to him about it coming down to the manager who handles the call-out (in my case the night shift boss), and a second manager who confirms the callout. My only assumption is that my boss agreed and acknowledged it as a weather related incident, and the second manager, the cxm in this case, decided to over-rule that decision.
Every other manager I spoke to thought that point was bogus. THE MAIN BOSS said it was bogus, and HR agreed that it was a case-to-case issue due to their system not having anything concrete for localized weather emergencies (they only have it for snow/ice, and state emergencies.) but even our HR contact agreed that safety takes priority! So here I am, 3 months into this crap I didn't even deserve, all because this dude decided to swing his big-boy stick. Taking the proper channels to have it addressed, complaint sent in about the manager in question, and trying to do things by the book did nothing but hit me with a "well you didn't act fast enough so we can't fix it" response, because it took over a month to get it processed. On the plus side, since I explained the entire incident to the main boss of the store (including the response from the manager who was handling the write-up), He gave me his direct line and told me that if i EVER got caught in a major storm like that to let him know, and he'd be sure to clear the incident himself. So while it happened, the store boss pulled through and assured me it won't happen again since it was a situational decision based on whoever got the call-out to handle. The problem is that the one who made this a problem in the first place is still in a position to do said problem. And that, unfortunately, I am unable to address directly like this. It was untouched for almost 2 weeks, sent in as a point right at the end of the 2 week "edit" period, and then I'm written up a week after that, ensuring I had no way to fight it. This was, in all purposes, an abuse of power. But, i'm a drone. I'm only as strong as the voice of the rest of this cacophony, and that's why they keep everyone at eachothers' throats.

Like I said. It's a rant, so only pop it open if you want to see what triggered this message to begin with. It's the biggest frustration I've had in the many years working here that firmly got under my skin due to the way it was handled and how long it took to get properly addressed, for no other reason than to tell me it was too late to do anything about it. We're just numbers in this machine, readily replaceable and easily used to kick around in the name of "fun" for those in a position of power. Where the rules and regulations are waived so long as you're buddies with the other management, and those working hard and keeping to themselves are an easy source to dump the blame and pressure or exercise someone's "authority".

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I cant follow people and wont let me message anyone?

-by Swami BV Tripurari
"Mysticism is found in all of the major religious traditions. It constitutes a spiritual experiential orientation, as opposed to a socioreligious orientation to life. The mystic subset of Hinduism is yoga/Vedānta. The focus of such mysticism is to realize all of the implications of what it means to be consciousness: self-realization and God-realization. The means to do so is a systematic approach to isolating consciousness—one’s self/ātmā—from matter, both its psychic and physical dimensions. The idea is to experience and arguably demonstrate that consciousness exists independently of mind/matter. This subjective experience is arrived at by invoking a great deal of objectivity within what could be called a first-person introspective discipline. The objectivity takes the form of detachment from sense objects through a gradual process of external withdrawal and internal focus.
The yogin/Vedāntin is schooled in this detachment. That is, he or she is schooled as to the ephemeral nature of things—things of sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch—and thoughts themselves. The yogin learns that attachment to things and thoughts creates an illusory and selfish sense of self or ego/identity that, like things and thoughts, is here today but gone tomorrow. Desire for things, the Buddha teaches, is the cause of suffering. The Gītā teaches that attachment to the temporal is the womb from which suffering is born. Thus the pursuit of enduring life and happiness is not found in relation to things that are experienced. It is found in relation to the self that experiences. Armed with such reasoning, the mystic cultivates a sense of detachment. The mystic learns to control the mind and senses rather than being controlled by them and drawn through the flow of thought into an imaginary, worldly sense of self. He or she is objective to the extreme, as detachment from things allows one to look at them objectively, having dismantled one’s biases. The “boy-become-man” in Kipling’s famous poem “If—” sets the bar for a believable supernatural: a human who has risen above his or her passions and who practically speaking is human no more—a sādhu. This bar is the ground of mysticism, that which the mystic’s experience is rooted in.
The ideal of science is one thing. Scientists are another. Like other world citizens in human dress, scientists are also helplessly human. But the mystic is not a world citizen in any practical sense. Passions transcended, the world holds no charm. Living within, the mystic experiences a humbled yet heightened sense of self. He or she experiences the “more” that we intuitively sense we are—more than the fleeting sense of identity derived from attachment to sense objects. With objective sensibility as to the ephemeral nature of the world of things and thought, the mystic goes within and does not come up empty-handed. Without doing and without thinking in relation to things of the world, he or she has and knows more by way of direct experience of the consciousness we are constituted of. Indeed, go within or go without is the mystic’s mantra. A person profits more by gaining deep, abiding experience of the nonmaterial self than he or she does through material acquisition. “Being” derived from or identified with “having” is an impoverished form of existence in the very least. The mystic’s sense of being has nothing to do with having and it is rich with universally desirable characteristics.
While we refer to such a person as a mystic, he or she is really what we all agree constitutes the perfect human, one who loves one’s neighbor like oneself by way of experiencing that which all beings have in common beneath the superficial dress of differences in race, religion, psychological disposition, and so on. In the language of the Gītā, the perfect mystic is one who sees the suffering of others as if it were one’s own. Here we are not speaking of unverifiable subjective experiences, we are speaking about observable behavior that is rare yet undeniably ideal, sought after to one extent or another by different methodologies the world over.
However, unlike all of such methodologies, genuine ego-effacing spiritual discipline from mysticism is aimed exclusively at attaining this ideal. However, other than the arguably supernatural yet observable external results attained by such spiritual discipline, adepts also make objectively unverifiable claims as to the nature of their internal experience and its implications. They claim, for example, that they have realized that as a unit of consciousness, they are eternal, and thus survive biological death. Such claims are not unreasonable in that we can see that such spiritual adepts are largely aloof from bodily and emotional necessities. They live with less—much less—and offer more to the world in the form of their universal compassion. While their subjective experience is not something we can determine the veracity of in the laboratory, the objective and systematic methodology the mystics subject themselves to and the consistent results—the subjective experiences—the mystics report, when combined with the observable fact that such mystics have risen above human passion, must be given consideration in any honest effort to demystify or understand consciousness. While anyone can say anything about their subjective spiritual experience, we find remarkably consistent cross-cultural reporting of experiences among mystics from all religious traditions. With the effacing of the conventional ego self—the fleeting, selfish psychic identity—the mystics experience the more that arguably we are, the consciousness that is the ground of being on which the dance of actual love proceeds."

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

⚠️ WARNING: Maasverse Spoilers—Proceed with Caution ⚠️

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Part 1: Characters and Courts - YOU ARE HERE
Part 2: World Map, Items, Terms & Other
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Well, here we go. A master list of all things ACOTAR + the "real" world.

Now, do I believe every single name and location on this list was chosen by SJM with a specific real-world allusion in mind? Of course not. But when you look at the similarities, you'd be hard pressed to deny some of their very probable relations.
As far as this list goes, I've provided what was within my ability to find—coupling each with that which made the most sense relationally—though several definitions would appear to have zero connection to the story at large.
I can't promise perfection. Heck, I can't even promise 100% accuracy (though I did cross-reference the more obscure sources). And I will gladly welcome any missing pieces and/or additional insight you may have.
\Note: If a character or place/item is minor enough, I've included a reminder of their book roles.*

So come on, friends. Let's dive on in.

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UK + IRELAND

PRYTHIAN

A combination of Prydain, the old Welsh name for Britain, and Brython, which translates to “Ancient Britons” from Welsh.

HYBERN

A riff of Hibernia, the Classical Latin name for Ireland.

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Artist of Prythian map: P-dulcis on redbubble

*A continuing list of world map related locations is provided in Part 2 of this post (see link above)

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MAIN CHARACTERS

RHYSAND

Rhys (also Rhŷs) is Welsh in origin and means "ardent, enthusiasm." It has deep roots in Welsh culture and is the name of several famous Welsh kings and noblemen, including Rhys ap Thomas, a solider who rose to prominence during the Wars of the Roses.

FEYRE ARCHERON

Feyre is a variant of Feyre and is Old English in origin. It means "fair, beautiful." A similar name in Old Norse is Freyja (also spelled Freya), meaning "Lady," denotes a woman of nobility. In Norse mythology, Freyja is a goddess associated with love, beauty, fertility, sex, and war.
In Greek mythology, the Archeron is one of the five rivers of the Underworld and is often the principal river through which the ferryman Charon transports the dead. It said to be the River of Woe or the River of Misery.

CASSIAN

Cassian is Latin in origin, means "son of Cassius," and denotes one of the oldest families in Rome. Arguably the most well known Cassius was one of the leading instigators of Julius Caesar's assassination plot.

AZRIEL

Azriel is Hebrew in origin meaning "God is my help." In some religions, Azrael is the benevolent angel of death who carries souls of the deceased to the afterlife.

MORRIGAN

The Morrígan is a Celtic goddess associated with war and fate and is seen as a guardian of the earth and its people. Her name means "great queen" or "phantom queen."

AMREN

Amram is of Hebrew origin and means "exalted people." It is the Biblical name of Moses' father.
Note: This tracks with Amren being able to interpret The Book of Breathings which is a play on the very real The Books of Breathing, a collection of ancient Egyptian funerary texts.

NESTA

Nesta is the Welsh version of Agnes meaning "pure, holy." May also have potential connections to Nestor, a legendary Greek king who was known as a great warrior and for the sage advice he offered younger soldiers.

ELAIN

Elain is Welsh in origin and means "fawn." Elaine is associated with the Greek name Helen meaning "light, bright one."
Fun fact: Elain is an anagram of Aelin.

NYX

Nyx is the Greek mythological goddess and personification of the Night. She is the mother of Day (Hemera) and Darkness (Erebus). She often appears alongside other celestial deities such as Selene, Helios, and Eos.

ILLYRIANS

EMERIE

Emerie has Old German origins and means "home strength, brave, powerful."

ENALIUS

In Greek mythology Enyalius is a son of Ares but is also a byname for the god of war. He is often seen as the god of soldiers and warriors from the Ares cult.

DEVLON

Devlon is Gaelic in origin and related to the name Devlin meaning "fierce courage."

BALTHAZAR

Balthazar is Akkadian in origin meaning "God protects the King." It is a name commonly attributed to the wise man who gifted myrrh to the Christ child (the myrrh symbolizing the future death of a king). It is an alternate form of King Belshazzar who played a pivotal role in a coup d'état that overthrew a Neo-Babylonian king.
ACOTAR role: Balthazar helped Nesta during the Blood Rite.

PROTEUS

Proteus is a prophetic sea god in Greek mythology and means "versatile, mutable, capable of assuming many forms."
ACOTAR role: Proteus is Emerie's father and was killed in the war with Hybern.

BELLIUS

May refer to Belus, the Babylonian god of war.
ACOTAR role: Bellius is Emerie's cousin and was slain by Cassian during the Blood Rite.

KALLON

No clear references found, but kalon in Ancient Greek translates to "ideal perfect beauty."
ACOTAR role: Kallon incited the Illyrians against the Night Court leaders and was ultimately slain during the Blood Rite.

HEWN CITY

KEIR

Keir is Gaelic, meaning "dark," and is related to the Irish name Ciarán. In Greek mythology, the Keres (singular being Ker) were female death spirits who personified violent death. There is a suggested connection between the Keres and the Valkyries of Norse mythology, each representing opposite ideals; the Valkyries being benevolent deities in death, versus the Keres representing feasting destruction.

THANATOS

In Greek mythology, Thanatos is the personification of death. He is a minor figure, often referred to but rarely appearing in person (I see what you did there, SJM).
ACOTAR role: Thanatos is mentioned briefly by Keir during the alliance meeting with Eris.

THE LIBRARY

CLOTHO

In ancient Greek mythology, Clotho is the youngest goddess of the Three Fates and spins the thread of human life. Her name means "spinner."

MERRILL

Merrill is of British origin meaning "sparkling sea, sea-bright."

GWYNETH BERDARA

Gwyneth is Welsh in origin and means "blessed, happiness." In Irish mythology, the Lady Gwyn is a headless woman (cough, Catrin, cough) who chases wanderers at night. In Arthurian mythology, Guinevere has an evil half-sister—"False" Guinevere—who bewitches Arthur.

ANANKE

Ananke means "necessity, fate personified." In Greek mythology she is one of the primordial deities and is the personification of necessity and inevitability.
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.

DEIRDRE

Deirdre is Gaelic in origin and means "broken-hearted, wanderer." The name is associated with a tragic heroine in Irish mythology.
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.

ILANA

Illana is Hebrew in origin nd means "tree, bright light." It stems from the name Elena and is potentially related to the name Ileana, a beautiful young female fairy in various myths.
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.

LORELEI

Lorelei in German in origin and means "alluring, temptress." In German folklore, she is a siren-like seductress.
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.

ROSLIN

Roslin is Scottish in origin and means "rose, red-haired."
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.

RIVEN

Riven derives from Old Norse meaning "to split, tear asunder."
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who avoids contact with strangers and whose background is unknown.

SIDE CHARACTERS

MADJA

Madja is Slavic in origin and may mean "splendid, noble one." In Arabic it means "the women with glory." It is related to the name Madeleine meaning "from Magdala."

NUALA

Nuala is Irish in origin and means "fair shouldered one." In modern Irish storytelling it means "born of the sea." It is considered a diminutive form of the name Fionnuala, a mythological figure who was the daughter of a sea god.

CERRIDWEN

Cerridwen is an enchantress in Welsh mythology. She is said to possess the cauldron of poetic inspiration and is regarded by many as the Celtic goddess of rebirth, transformation, and inspiration.

RITA

Rita stems from the name Margarita and comes from the Greek word meaning "pearl." The Greeks promoted pearls as a symbol of honesty and integrity.
ACOTAR role: Rita owns the "how does the IC not know the clientele is gay" bar.

SEVENDA

No clear connection found, though venda in Latin means "sell" while sev means "strew, spread" and enda means "end." Could also potentially be related to the number seven.
ACOTAR role: Owns a restaurant the IC frequents.

NEVE

Neve is of Latin origin and means "snow."
ACOTAR role: The jeweler from whom Rhys buys jewelry for Amren in ACOFAS.

POLINA

Polina has Latin origins and derives from Apollo, though it could also be seen as a variant of Paulina/Paul meaning "little, the younger."
ACOTAR role: The faerie who owned Feyre's art studio before her untimely death.

RESSINA

Resina means "resin of the pine." Plants secret resin as a protective response, guarding them from insects and pathogens.
ACOTAR role: Ressina opens the art studio with Feyre. She has green skin and stood outside her shop in response to Hybern's attack on Velaris, protecting the terrified faeries inside.

ARANEA

Aranea is Greek in origin and denotes a genus of orb-weaving spiders.
ACOTAR role: Aranea is the weaver who created the Void cloth.

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MAIN CHARACTERS

TAMLIN

From the "Ballad of Tam Lin," a legendary ballad from the borderlands of Scotland. Reminiscent of the fairytale Beauty & the Beast where a mortal woman plucks a rose and encounters a man in the forest, later learning he is captive to faeries. She must hold onto him as he is transformed into various beasts and upon his rescue, the faerie Queen muses that she should have taken out his eyes (Lucien, anyone?) or capture his heart (Tamlin's stone heart) to prevent his escape.

LUCIEN

Lucien is French in origin and means "light." Lucian was also the name of a Hellenized Syrian satirist who was known for his tongue-in-cheek style is said to be the inventor of comic dialogue.

ALIS

Alis is a variant of Alice and translates to "noble, exalted."

SIDE CHARACTERS

IANTHE

Ianthe is Greek in origin and means "she who delights." In Greek mythology she is a water-nymph daughter of Oceanus and a companion to Persephone when she was abducted by Hades.

ANDRAS

Andras has Welsh origins and means "manly, brave."

BRON

Bron is Old English and means "brown."

HART

Hart has Irish origins and means "hero, brave, firm." A hart is also the term for a male deer and in Celtic mythology, the white hart is said to appear when one is transgressing a taboo (Tamlin's whipping of his other sentry comes to mind).

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MAIN CHARACTERS

BERON VANSERRA

Beron is French in origin and is a pet form of the name Bero meaning "bear."
Vanserra is a combination of the prefix van meaning "from, of" and serra meaning "saw, view from a high place" or "mountain range." Vanserra can be said to mean "of the mountains."

ERIS

In ancient Greek mythology, Eris is the Greek goddess of strife and discord. Her Roman equivalent, Discord, is the goddess of chaos. She is associated with the war goddess Enyo who is frequently associated with the war god Ares.

SIDE CHARACTERS

JESMINDA

Jesminder is Indian in origin meaning "flower queen."

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MAIN CHARACTERS

TARQUIN

Tarquin is of Latin origin and means "ruler, strong soldier." Two of the seven kings of Rome bore the name.

VARIAN

Varian is of Latin origin and means "variable."

CRESSEIDA

Cressida derives from Chryseis and means "golden." She is a character associated with the Trojan War and is the archetype of a faithless lover.

SIDE CHARACTERS

NOSTRUS

Nostrum comes from the Latin noster meaning "our, ours." Nostos is an Ancient Greek literary theme concerning an epic hero returning home, often by sea. It is deemed a high level of heroism or greatness and focuses on the hero retaining or elevating their identity while often resisting temptation.
ACOTAR role: The High Lord prior to Tarquin who was slain by Amarantha after participating in a rebellion Under the Mountain.

BRUTIUS

May refer to the Latin name Brutus meaning "heavy, dull."
ACOTAR role: Mercifully slain by Rhys Under the Mountain after his attempted escape.

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MAIN CHARACTERS

HELION

Helios is the Ancient Greek god personifying the sun. He is often depicted with a solar crown and drives a horse-drawn chariot through the sky. He played a significant role in ancient magic and spells and is the son of the Titan Theia and brother to Selene.

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MAIN CHARACTERS

KALLIAS

Callias is Greek in origin and means "beauty, beautiful voice." He is a diplomatic and wealthy figure in Ancient Greece.

VIVIANNE

From the Latin word vivianus meaning "alive." Commonly associated with the Irish name Bébinn meaning "beautiful, fair one" and is the name of an underworld goddess in both Irish and Welsh mythology.

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THESAN

Thesan is the Etruscan goddess of the dawn. Greeks identified her with Eos, the goddess and personification of the dawn. She is sometimes depicted with wings.

NUAN

Nuan is Mandarin and means "warm, genial."

THE PEREGRYN

The peregrine is a falcon renowned for its speed.
Fun fact: The peregrine is the fastest member of the animal kingdom and can reach speeds of over 200mph.

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AMARANTHA

Amaranths is Greek in origin and means "unfading." The amaranthus flower, often deep red in color, is said to symbolize immortality as it blooms for so long.

BRANNAGH

Brannagh is of Irish origin and denotes a "beautiful female with hair dark as a raven."

DAGDAN

In Irish mythology, the Dagda is considered the chief god of the Tuatha Dé Danaan. His name means "the good god, the great god."

CLYTHIA

In Greek mythology, Clytia is a water nymph who loved the sun god Helios. Helios left her for another woman after coming under the influence of Aphrodite. Clytia exposed the affair to the other woman's father, but eventually lost herself in mourning for Helios's love. Her name means "glorious, renowned."
ACOTAR role: Amarantha's sister.

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HISTORICAL FIGURES

THEIA

Theia is a Titan and is the Ancient Greek goddess of sight and vision. She is the parent of Helios, Selene, and Eos. She is most known not for her own role, but for that of her childrens'. Her name means "goddess, godly."

SILENE

Selene is the Ancient Greek goddess and personification of the moon. She is the daughter of Hyperion and Theia and sister to Helios and Eos.

HELENA

Comes from the Green name Helen meaning "shining light." There are various Helens in Greek mythology: Helen of Troy, Helen a friend to Aphrodite, and Helene the Amazonian who fought Achilles.

FIONN

Fionn is of Irish origin and means "fair-haired." In Irish folklore, Fionn Mac Cumhaill was a leader of a band of young hunter-warriors.

PELIAS

Pelias is Greek in origin and means "rock pigeon." Pelias was the king of Ioclus while Peleus was the king of Phthia. Peleus was husband to Thetis, father to Achilles, and left several (men and women) dead in his wake, both through means of accident and betrayal, fleeing more than once to escape punishment.

OLEANNA

Oleanna derives from the Greek name Helene meaning "sun ray, shining light."
ACOTAR role: The High Priestess who dipped Gwydion in the Cauldron.

REPORTED DECEASED

CATRIN BERDARA

Catrin is Greek in origin and means "clear, pure." It's commonly used in Wales and is connected with the ancient goddess Hecate, who is the goddess of witchcraft, sorcery, and necromancy.

MINOR CHARACTERS

TANWYN

Tanwan is of Welsh origin and means "white fire."
ACOTAR role: Tanwyn was a Valkyrie and Cassian's former lover.

OSIAN

Osian is Welsh meaning "young deer" and derives from the Irish legendary poet and warrior Oisín, who was regarded as the greatest poet of Ireland and a warrior of the Fianna (small warrior-hunter bands). He was a demigod son of Fionn Mac Cumhaill and Sadhbh.
ACOTAR role: The author of A Brief History of the Great Sieges

RABATH

Rabath is an anagram of Bharat, one of the names of India. Derived from the Sanskrit word bharata, meaning "to bear, be maintained" it can also mean "one who is engaged in search of knowledge."
ACOTAR role: Lord of the Western Wind and ancestor to Merrill.

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JURIAN

Jurian is Greek in origin and means "farmer, earthworker."

GRAYSEN

Graysen is of English origin and translates to "son of the steward/gray-haired man."

NOLAN

Nolan is Irish in origin and denotes a "child of nobility, champion."
ACOTAR role: Nolan is Graysen's father.

ISAAC HALE

Isaac is Hebrew in origin and means "one who laughs or rejoices." Hale is Old English in origin and means "nook, recess" and denoted someone who lived in a nook or hollow.

TOMAS MANDRAY

Thomas is Hebrew in origin and means "twin." No clear reference to Mandray, though Mandrew is Greek and means "man, warrior."
ACOTAR role: Tomas was Nesta's former betrothed.

CLARE BEDDOR

Clare is French in origin and means "bright, clear." No reference found for Beddor.

AUNT RIPLEIGH

Ripleigh is Old English and means "shouting man's meadow." It is connected to the name Ripley meaning "strip of clearing in the woods."
ACOTAR role: Aunt Ripleigh is the feigned aunt Feyre takes care of.

Ms. Laurent

Laurent is French in origin and means "from Laurentum" and "bay laurel."
ACOTAR role: Ms. Laurent is the mortal caretaker of the Archeron estate.

BRIAR

Briar is of British origin and means "thorny bush of wild roses, brambles."
ACOTAR role: Briar is the mortal woman rescued by Feyre and Azriel.

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HUMAN QUEENS

VASSA

Vasilissa is Greek in origin and means "queen, empress." It is also the name of a Christian child martyr who was left unharmed during her capture, but after her release was slain in a field as she prayed.

BRIALLYN

Briallen is a Welsh name meaning "primrose." Primrose comes from the Latin word meaning "first" and the primrose flower often represents youth and renewal (SJM, you dog—this may be my favorite tongue-in-cheek naming thing you did).
ACOTAR role: Briallyn is the first queen who enters the Cauldron and is rewarded with immortality as a withered old hag.

DEMETRA

Demeter was the mother of Persephone, an Ancient Greek goddess of the harvest and an emblem of growth.
ACOTAR role: Demetra was the golden queen who provided the mortal half of The Book of Breathings to the Night Court and was subsequently slain by the Attor.

ANDROMACHE

Andromache means "fighter of men." In Greek mythology, she was representative of the suffering of Trojan women during the war and was famous for her virtue and fidelity. Andromache was also the name of a famous Greek Amazonian who fell at Troy.
ACOTAR role: Andromache was the former mortal lover of Mor.

FAE CHARACTERS

DRAKON

Drakon is of Greek origin and means "dragon."

NEPHELLE

In Greek mythology Nephele, meaning "cloud," is a cloud nymph who is considered the goddess of loyalty, generosity, peace, and shyness.

THE SERAPHIM

A seraph is a celestial being regarded as belonging to the highest order of angels in Christian angelology.

HUMAN CHARACTERS

MIRYAM

Miriam of of Hebrew origin and means "sea of sorrow." She is the Biblical daughter of Amram and Jochebed and sister to Aaron and Moses.

URSTIN

No plausible connections found. Potentially an anagram for Rustin, an English name meaning "Rust's estate" or Surtin, a Middle English name meaning "reliable, trustworthy."
ACOTAR role: Urstin is a cousin of the Archerons via their mother.

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MAIN CHARACTERS

THE SURIEL

Suriel is a Hebrew name meaning "God's prince, divine authority." May also reference Sariel, an angel from Judais tradition, one of the seven holy angels. He is considered to be a primordial power invoked for his protective powers.

ATTOR

Possibly an altered form of the German tatter meaning "goblin, puppet." Likely inspired by the Ahool, a bat or primate-like winged cryptid said to live in the jungles of Indonesia.

DEATH GODS

THE BONE CARVER

Self-explanatory.

STRYGA AKA THE WEAVER

Stryzga is a female demon in Slavic mythology similar to a vampire. Stryzga stems from the mythological Strix of Ancient Greece, referring to birds of ill omen (and also witches) who fed on human flesh and blood.

KOSCHEI

Koschei is a common villain in East Slavic tales. He is often given the epithet of "the Immortal, the Deathless" and is said to hide his death inside nested objects for protection. He often takes the role of a malevolent rival figure who competes or entraps a male hero's love interest.
Fun note: The love interest trapping tidbit has interesting connotations for both Lucien (regarding Vassa) and Azriel (regarding Eris). For a breakdown of the Azriel x Koschei scene in ACOSF, see HERE.

PRISON INMATES

BRYAXIS

Bryaxis was a famous Ancient Greek sculptor. His name may mean "delight, lust."

LANTHYS

No information or connections found (and it is KILLING me).

LUBIA

In Albanian mythology, the lubia is a multi-headed, serpentine-like, female watestorm demon-dragon. Her irresistible taste of flesh leans toward that of young girls.
ACOTAR role: Also called Seven-Headed Lubia, imprisoned for preying on girls on the western coast of Prythian.

ANNIS

The Black Annis is a bogeyman in English folklore, depicted as a blue-faced witch with iron claws who has a taste for human flesh, especially that of children.
ACOTAR role: Also called Blue Annis, imprisoned for her craving of female flesh.

VESPERUS

In Greek mythology, Hesperus is the Evening Star. Her Roman equivalent is named Vesper.
ACOTAR role: Vesperus is the Asteri found beneath the Prison.

MINOR CHARACTERS

MIDDENGARD WYRM

Midgard is the realm of human beings in Norse mythology, ie Earth. Wrym is an Old Norse word and refers to a wingless and limbless dragon.

THE BOGGE

Bogge is a Middle English word meaning "frightening specter" from which the term bogeyman originated. Bogeyman have no specific appearance and conceptions vary drastically by culture.
Fun fact: A boggart is a supernatural being from English folklore and also derives from the term bogge (Harry Potter facts, yo).

NAGA

Throughout various Asian religious traditions, Angus are a divine or semi-divine race of half-human, half-serpent beings residing in the netherworld.
Fun fact: A female naga is called a Nagi or a Nagini (more HP facts, yo).

MARTAX

A manticore is a Persian mythological creature similar to the Egyptian sphinx. The martax describe in ACOTAR has a head like a lion's and three rows of teeth. A manticore has the body of a lion and eats its victims whole with its three rows of teeth. The term manticore stems from Latin and Ancient Greek.

PUCA

Púca is Irish for "spirit, ghost" while puca is Old English for "goblin." They were said to be shape-changers.

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MEALLAN

Meallán is Irish in origin meaning "small pleasant one."
ACOTAR role: Helion's pegasus.

ELLIA

Ellia is of various origins and can translate to "beautiful fairy maiden" with hints to the "Otherworld."
ACOTAR role: Mor's horse.

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For Part 2: World Map, Items, Terms & Other, click HERE

Eivor is a bit of a strange protagonist.
She’s basically flawless and without blame. She’s brash and bold, proud and unashamed — brave and wise far beyond her years, yet able to be soft and compassionate when not brandishing spears. She’s got a knack for leadership, a strong moral compass and an even stronger muscular system with which to enact justice.
And she’s got bars?
As someone not deeply versed in medieval European histories, imagine my shock and confusion upon discovering that Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla included rap battling.
My first experience with Flyting had me asking so many questions about what I just witnessed that I couldn’t wait to begin Googling. I figured flyting probably was historically accurate, but if that’s the case, then what else can it tells us about the medieval warrior and about Eivor’s characterization?
I set off to find out.
--
Wikipedia and howstuffworks combined gave me a robust definition of flyting.
A ritual, poetic exchange of insults practiced mainly between the 5th and 16th centuries. Examples of flyting are found throughout Scots, Ancient, Medieval and Modern Celtic, Old English, Middle English and Norse literature involving both historical and mythological figures. The exchanges would become extremely provocative, often involving accusations of cowardice or sexual perversion.
The idea behind flyting was to influence public opinion of the participants and raise both of their profiles. And each participant wanted to make himself look better than the other, even if they were friendly.
Not only that, but flyting’s also the first recorded use of shit as an insult. That right there is worth this whole essay and then some.
--
I came away from those definitions with some small Euphoria, as they reinforce what I already expected from Ubisoft — historically accurate and (arguably) immersive side activities grounded in realism.
Unfortunately, none of the flyting foes that Eivor faces in this fantasy are founded in any real-world flyters. I was particularly frustrated when I realized Fergal the Faceless and Borghild the Alewife’s Bane were fictional features, not real historical fiends of rhythm and rhyme.
Two of Eivor’s syntax competitors are “real” in some sense, however.
In Norse mythos, Odin, Thor, Loki, Freyja and more would handle their Family Matters over a flyte from time to time, dueling wits and words as competition and entertainment.
In fact, one flyte we do see in game — Odin as he flytes over the river with Thor in the Asgard Arc — is likely a reference to a real medieval Norse poem; The Hárbarðsljóð.
In it, Thor jaunts back to Asgard after a journey in Jötunheim. He comes to a junction in which he must jump a large river, and thus hunts down a ferryman to shepherd him across. The ferryman, Hárbarðr, is Odin in disguise. He then begins to diss guys.
Ahem. ‘Guys’ being Thor, obviously.
First, Odin drops a yo-mama joke:

Of thy morning feats art thou proud, but the future thou knowest not wholly; Doleful thine home-coming is: thy mother, me thinks, is dead.

He keeps going, taking more shots than a First Person Shooter, this time saying Thor dresses like a girl:

Three good dwellings methinks, thou hast not; Barefoot thou standest and wearest a beggar’s dress; Not even hose dost thou have.

Thor says watch your mouth before I clap back:

Ill for thee comes thy keenness of tongue, if the water I choose to wade; Louder, I ween, than a wolf thou cryest, if a blow of my hammer thou hast.

Odin replies by saying Thor’s wife is fucking another dude:

Sif has a lover at home, and him shouldst thou meet; More fitting it were on him to put forth thy strength.

The version we play out in game isn’t identical to the real-world poem, but carries some similarities; Thor’s threatening to cross the river to fight Odin as well as his boasting of slaying giants are present in each.
Ratatosk is the only other ‘real’ flyting enemy in Valhalla. While Odin doesn’t flyte with Ratatosk in Norse myth to my knowledge, the flyting against the squirrel is thematically accurate, at least.
Ratatosk’s purpose is to scramble up and down Yggdrasil, scurrying spoken messages from the eagle that sits at its peaks to the snake that slithers at its base. The nature of Ratatosk’s messages is in line with the act of flyting — the mischievous rodent carries falsehoods and aggressive statements to stir up drama and distrust between bird and serpent.
Flyting took place not only in poems and folklore, but in town squares and royal court. It was a facet of medieval life and social interaction. This weaving of prose then, in this time period, seemingly was just about as much of an admired skill as the swinging of a sword. It’s no wonder our unbreakable warrior Eivor is so proficient with word.
--
Like, really proficient with word.
I mean, I know it’s me choosing the dialogue options, but sheesh, is there anything she can’t do?
Actually, Eivor’s expertise in flyting is strange to me. It feels random and unearned — out of character, even. It comes more unexpectedly than Kendrick Lamar’s Not Like Us.
It probably only feels out of character, however, due to our modern understanding of proficiency with words versus proficiency with might. Our current interpretation of verbal ability compared to physical ability would perceive verbal ability as the ‘softer’ of the two skillsets. Physical strength is typically interpreted as tough and more dominant. You don’t expect to see an MMA fighter composing poetry, do you? The qualities that modern thought attributes to writing and physicality don’t mesh.
But in reality — and historically accurately in Valhalla — medieval warriors weren’t just blind berserkers. They were actually artists, poets and writers.
We’ve already demonstrated how Odin and Thor — Norse myth’s most famous warriors — carried out flyting. Thus, medieval Vikings would’ve surely done the same. Beyond Vikings though, the Illiad contains instances of public, ritualized abuse. Taunting songs are present in Inuit culture while Arabic poetry contains a form of flyting called naqa’id. Further, Japanese Samurai were known to be frequent composers of haiku, while Japanese culture also gave birth to Haikai, poetry in which vulgar satire and puns were wielded.
This historical accuracy ends up eliminating the randomness of Eivor’s flyting ability. Despite her verbal finesse feeling unearned, we can surmise historically that Eivor has practiced the wielding of words plenty in her life before we take over as the player. She’s dedicated time to this.
Now that we know why she has it, we can take a closer look at what it does for her.
--
So, Eivor can rap. She can match you with her axe or she can match you with her words. She’s just about unbeatable.
Her mastery of words demonstrates on some level that she’s not all Push Ups and might is right. She’s not all bruiser and bluster, burn and berserk. She’s an appreciator of the finer things — the more abstract, mental skills that require brain power, deftness and finesse.
This duality of strength and genius rounds out Eivor into a deeper, richer, more admirable character. More than just raw muscle in pursuit of glory, Eivor’s mastery of verse demonstrates her prioritizing not just her body, but her mind.
And it goes a long way for her.
Eivor can use her prowess with prose to progress past pointless plot points throughout Valhalla’s plethora of arcs and missions. It’s just a stat check in the end, but with enough practice flyting and enough charisma gained, Eivor unlocks new dialogue options that bend the world around her to her will.
Witch hunters in Eurvicscire on the brink of terrorizing Moira can be dispersed verbally rather than brawled or killed. There’s an entire riddle-solving fetch quest in Wincestre that can be skipped completely by telling King Aelfred’s abbot fuck off (figuratively). Eivor’s sharpening of her mind protects her body, saves her time, and allows her to frictionlessly fell her endeavors.
Her articulate advances don’t just alter her into admirability, they allow her to influence people and progression. With semantics from her mouth and twists from her tongue, Eivor can have her way whenever she wishes. In a game this large, I’m only left longing that the opportunity to make use of this charisma wasn’t relegated to niches.
Regardless, if medieval England is butter, Eivor’s tongue is the hot knife that behooves her move through her subduing more smoothly.
It all just goes to show that ̶m̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ flyte is right.

I’ve always been really into ghost stories, or urban legends in general. The White Lady, haunted dolls, vampires, black eyed children, that kind of stuff. I know that, today, people my age aren’t big fans of that kind of horror anymore, preferring it things like the Backrooms, analog horror, all the new kinds of scary media. Honestly, I get it, things do need to evolve, and when we see everything that’s happening in the world, it’s understandable that a good old ghost story don’t do the job anymore.

Still, the “old fashioned” horror (it’s not that old, but things move fast on the internet) is always my jam. I grew up watching youtubers investigating haunted places, ghost hunting, with all their accessories, EMF meters, their little radio thing that they use to listen to radio frequencies so that they can hear any interference, their antenna that beeps when something approaches it, voice recorders, special flashlights, and let me tell you that all this, it was doing it for me.

So, since my, probably 7 years, I dreamt of doing these things myself. Of course, I tried everything a young boy is able to do, like Ouija or stupidly walking around my house with my phone filming, hoping that some random deceased person with unfinished business will show up to, I don’t know, have a chat. I wish I could say that other people’s judgement doesn’t affect me, but that would be a lie, so, going in to high school, I had to socially tone down my interest for those things in order to have friends. None of my friends and classmates knew about my persisting passion for ghosts and creepy stories.

I realize that keeping this such a secret is a bit ridiculous, especially approaching my 18^th birthday, but, you know, it would be even weirder to reveal it after hiding it for almost 6 years like it was something super taboo. So here I was, I started hiding my passion at 12 to avoid other’s judging it, and I’m now still hiding it at 17 to avoid others judging the fact that I hid it… A bit pathetic I got to admit.

Anyway, everything started a few days ago. I have an art history class at school and the teacher really likes to give us big works of research. This time, he had a new idea, the whole class will be divided into groups of two, and each group will receive a building from our city that the teacher had choose for his architectural and artistic interests, and we’ll have to give it a visit and write an analysis on the different things we’ll notice and link it to what we saw in class. Since all the buildings were not public places, he had asked the authorization of every property’s owner.

Honestly, this could have been worse. This actually sounded kinda cool to do. Now, what I was concerned about was who will be my partner. Obviously, I was hoping for one of my friends. After explaining the rules and exact instructions for the work, he started to announce the groups. I was waiting to hear my name, anxious, as all my friends were slowly starting to be put into their groups.

“Joshua!” The teacher said (yeah that’s my name). “You will be with…” I was holding on to my chair. “… Elizabeth!”

I turned to Elizabeth, and we looked at each other. Neither one of us seemed excited. It wasn’t a terrible pair, I thought to myself, I just didn’t know what to think of it exactly. Elizabeth was a pretty popular girl, not that I was an outcast or anything, but she was still way more popular than me. I didn’t know much more about her, despite the fact that we were in the same class since my first year of high school, but it looked like she was going to be an okay partner.

The teacher then gave us our building. I won’t reveal the real name of what he gave us so I’ll call it “Guaraldi’s Street 22”. Apparently, it was a pretty old house that had somewhat of an historic value to it. The teacher gave us some information so we wouldn’t stumble there without any prior knowledge. The owner was an old woman who had always lived there. She was apparently very glad to open her doors to young students and was ready to answer any questions we could have. He warned us that she had a weak audition and that we would have to speak loudly. The teacher then recommended us to do a little bit of research before going there, so we could already have some idea of where we were entering.

I then found myself in front of Elizabeth. I think the last time we even talked to each other was months ago when she was distributing a test to the class and that I said “Thanks”, so, yeah, not a lot of background. I noticed, and I don’t know why it took me so long, I guess I never paid much attention to her, that she was dressed in kind of an old style, she wore some clearly used dungarees. The date the teacher had scheduled for our visit was on Sunday, and we were Thursday.

“So, hum, I guess, we can both do research on our side, and we’ll meet, maybe at lunch break tomorrow to get on the same page. Is that good for you?” She asked me.

“Yeah, that’s good, we can do that.”

“Okay, then, see you tomorrow.” She said.

“See you.”

On that she turned her feet and left for her break. The rest of the day went by and I got back home. As usual, my mom wasn’t there, she often has to work late as she’s a single mom to me and my little sister Rosa. I ate my diner and went to my room. I opened my computer to start my research. It wasn’t hard to find information, even though things were repeating themselves a lot: “so much historical meaning for the city”, “a perfect example of “art-deco” architecture”, “a house filled with stories”. There was a lot of talk by local medias about it, but not much actual facts.

It was so weak, that I had to go to page 2 of the search results on google, or, as I like to call them, “the abyss of the internet” (I’m exaggerating a bit, but it’s not often that you have to go there).
Then, something caught my eyes. It was a forum about paranormal experiences, and the address was mentioned on a post. I immediately clicked on it and read the whole thing. It wasn’t exactly the most thrilling story I’ve read, but here’s what it basically said.

Apparently, the owner opened the house as a cottage during the summer, and the person posting was narrating what he experienced during his passage there. He described a very special and kinda suffocating vibe that was apparently all around the house, and the feeling of being observed all the time. He also talked about hearing voices at random moments. They were brief but often mentioned his name. The end of his testimony talked about his last night, when he said he saw a little child with no facial expression in front of his bed, who slowly started to climb into it and grabbed his legs, trying to pull him outside of his bed. The poster said he eventually succeeded to push the kid away, despite his unreal strength, and that the boy ended up running out of the room, laughing. When he spoke to the owner about it the next morning, she said that it must have been his imagination playing tricks on him, as she didn’t believe in paranormal and that nothing similar ever happened to her.

This wasn’t much, it could have been a complete lie, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t peak my curiosity. The story was as basic as it could be, but it was so specific for it to happen in that place, which was absolutely not famous, and even less for any paranormal events. I kept that in the back of my mind and continued my research, but I didn’t find much more, so I went to sleep.

As I was lying in my bed, I was thinking. What if the person who posted his story said the truth. This was the first time I was going to enter somewhere that old and charged with history, this could be the perfect place for my first ghost-hunt. But of course, I was going for school and won’t be alone, plus, it’s not really respectful to the owner, who kindly opened the doors of her family house to us. And even if I wanted to, I’d be constantly with Elizabeth, so, it was not really an option. I looked at the EMF meter I received for a birthday on my shelf and thought to myself that this would be for another time.

The next day, as planned, I met with Elizabeth at lunch break. We started to share the results of our research, where I did not include the post from the forum for obvious reasons. We talked a bit before coming to a clear conclusion.

“Yeah, the thing is, we have the same exact stuff, there isn’t much interesting infos to be found online, except very surface level stuff.” She said.

“Yes, I think we should prepare the questions we want to ask the owner instead.” I answered.

“You’re right, do you think you can have yours for Sunday?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

We exchanged a bit more and eventually went back to class.

On Saturday, I prepared a few questions to ask the owner.

Then came today, Sunday. The meeting was planned at 11AM. I woke up normally, took a breakfast, got dressed, everything. Before leaving my room, I took one last look at the room and I saw my EMF meter. It was like he was begging me to take him. I grabbed it and left. I didn’t know if I would actually use it, but I had it. It had an option where instead of lighting the small lamps he was vibrating, so I activated that and put it in my pocket.

I arrived at the house and Elizabeth was already waiting for me. We knocked and we could hear the owner walking towards the door saying “Yes, yes, just a second.” She opened and she looked like the sweetest thing ever. She was short and had a naturally kind face. We could see that she was clearly dressed and make up for the occasion. She welcomed us and let us in happily. The hallway was very pretty, I understood why our teacher got us this house, it was indeed very interesting. The walls were covered with paintings and old pictures, mostly portraits. On everyone of these, the people had a very serious look, but that’s not unusual for old pictures.

We walked to the living room where she served us tea and we sat together.

“So, I think you have some questions for me?” She asked. You could see that she was very glad to talk. “Don’t be shy, I’m open.”

Elizabeth started to ask her first question then I did, and we could ask her everything.

The house was her family’s for many generations, but it hadn’t always been theirs. All the persons in the hallway, paintings or pictures, were previous habitants of the house, and they went as far as the 15th century, so, yeah, it was all pretty old. She said they could only know the identity of some of the first generations but that a lot of the people were non identified. She answered a lot of other questions regarding the architectural and artistic heritage of the building, and she was surprisingly very interesting to listen to. Her enthusiasm and kindness were contagious, and we both couldn’t help but ask more questions.

Eventually, we arrived to the end of our list, and it was time for us to visit, take notes, analyze, all that. She asked us not to touch anything, as a lot of things had a lot of value, but let us wander free in the house. She said she’ll be making cookies for when we’ll be done. Elizabeth and I found ourselves alone in the living room and finished our tea.

“God,… She’s adorable.” Said Elizabeth with a smile.

“Yes, she’s so sweet, I wasn’t expecting that.” I said.

“Let’s, maybe start with there.” She said, pointing to the room besides us.

We got up and entered it. The walls were covered by huge bookshelves. Elizabeth started to take notes, looking at the room, and I started inspecting the books. There was probably a more than a thousand books, and some of them looked super old. I read the titles of some of them, and the least I could say was that it needed to be rearranged. “Cooking Asian Food”, “Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince”, some old book with the title erased, and even a CD in the middle, it was a bit random.

We eventually moved on to the hallway. It was a bit oppressing with all those eyes who seemed to observe us. Elizabeth did mention how it felt a bit weird and we started to take notes again. At some point, my look stopped on one painting at the back of the hall. It was a young lady, dressed classically, maybe a bit poorly even, for someone who would have lived there. She was kinda pretty, if I’m being honest. But the reason why it caught my eyes was that it was the only one who was smiling. All the other people represented looked dead serious, but her, she smiled. A sweet, even caring and warm smile. I noticed that it seemed like she was staring at me. Of course, a lot of paintings give that same impression, but it was more intense on her.

My heart skipped a beat. I was sure that I just saw her winked to me. I let out a gasp. I was convinced she winked at me. The vibe went from slightly oppressive to extremely heavy. Then we both heard it.

“Elizabeth.”

An unrecognizable voice had just whispered. Elizabeth turned to me.

“Did you say that?” She asked.

“Elizabeth.”

A younger voice this time. We were facing each other, so we knew it couldn’t be one of us this time, and the owner was in the kitchen. Elizabeth’s eyes opened wide and she slowly walked towards me.

“Elizabeth.”

She jumped.

“WHAT THE… fuck?” I let out. We were looking around us.

“Joshua, I don’t like this…”

“Yeah, me neither.”

We were frozen in place, with all the paintings looking right to us.

“Elizabeth.”

That time it was a deep voice, and it came from behind us. We turned. Slowly, all the faces of the paintings and pictures started to clearly move. They were opening their eyes wide and opening their mouths, maintaining their serious, and now even melancholic look.

“Holy shit, holy shit, what the fuck is that, what is it!” Elizabeth was mumbling, panicking as I was starting to breathe faster.

All the people started to say her name together on repeat: “Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth…” I turned my head to the painting of the young lady from earlier, and she was the only one that wasn’t moving, still the same smile, she looked at peace.

I don’t remember exactly what I was whispering at that moment, but we were both freaking out.

We heard some scratching noise. Long, dirty hands with sharp nails, almost inhumans, were piercing the pictures and paintings. The eyes of the people were becoming all black, and their jaws were opening more than humanly possible as they kept on repeating her name. The hands were all getting closer from us. We were now touching one another, completely surrounded by those hands. Then, they moved way faster and a lot of them got their nails right into Elizabeth’s skin and pierced it while descending all over her body.

She screamed loudly out of pain. It was a terrifying scream. All the hands got to their pictures and back inside of it while closing what they pierced. Soon, the pictures and paintings were back to normal, but Elizabeth was bleeding from all over her body and was on the floor, crying. I got to her level and tried as much as possible to reassure her, but I wasn’t very effective as I was myself in shock and terrified.
We heard the owner walk towards us.

“What’s happening to you two? I heard screams, are you okay?”

She entered the hallway and saw the scene. She looked completely shocked.

“But what happened?” She asked.

Both of us were unable to answer to her, we had no idea what to say that wouldn’t make us sound crazy, so we just looked at her with whatever faces we were making at that moment. She didn’t wait long and went to take a first aid kid. She sat down and put some bandages all over Elizabeth, as I was reflecting on what happened. When she was done, we both wanted to leave, so we said that we had what we needed for now. She looked sorry and packed some cookies for each of us. As we opened the door to leave, she articulated one last phrase.

“I hope you’ll come back.” She had a look and a tone of sadness. We got out and were now on the street.

We both looked at each other. She was covered in bands, like she got into a huge fight. I started to speak but she lifted her hand.

“Not today. Another one.” She said. “I’ll see you at school.” And she left.

I got on my way too and gave one last look to the house. The old owner was watching me from her window, and I couldn’t tell what her expression was.

I was too tired so I ignored it and went back to my house.

I’m posting this now that I’m back at home. I have no news of Elizabeth, but she did add me on Instagram, so…

I have no idea what I should do now, I have so many questions, so, if anyone has any theories, I’ll take it. I’m also open to questions of course…

Oliver Rose is a reputed name in New Zealand blogging industry. Oliver Rose is also famous due to his trendy and interesting posts. In this post, Oliver Rose is sharing tips to promote ecommerce business in better way.
Promoting an eCommerce business effectively involves a combination of strategies to attract, engage, and retain customers. Here are some ways to promote your eCommerce business:

1. Optimize Your Website: Ensure your eCommerce website is user-friendly, mobile-responsive, and optimized for search engines (SEO). Make it easy for customers to navigate, find products, and complete purchases.
2. Create Compelling Content: Develop high-quality product descriptions, blog posts, videos, and other content that educates, entertains, and inspires your target audience. Content marketing can help drive traffic to your website and establish your brand as an authority in your industry.
3. Social Media Marketing: Utilize social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Pinterest to showcase your products, engage with customers, and drive traffic to your website. Experiment with different types of content, including images, videos, stories, and live streams.
4. Email Marketing: Build an email list of subscribers and send targeted email campaigns to promote your products, share news and updates, and nurture customer relationships. Personalize your emails based on customer preferences, behaviors, and purchase history to increase engagement and conversions.
5. Influencer Marketing: Collaborate with influencers and bloggers in your niche to reach a wider audience and gain credibility. Partner with influencers who align with your brand values and have a genuine connection with their followers.
6. Paid Advertising: Invest in pay-per-click (PPC) advertising on platforms such as Google Ads, Facebook Ads, Instagram Ads, and Pinterest Ads to target potential customers based on demographics, interests, and behavior. Monitor and optimize your ad campaigns regularly to maximize ROI.
7. Offer Discounts and Promotions: Run special promotions, discounts, and sales to incentivize purchases and attract new customers. Create urgency by setting expiration dates and limited quantities to encourage quick action.
8. Leverage User-Generated Content: Encourage customers to share their experiences, reviews, and photos of your products on social media and your website. User-generated content adds authenticity and social proof to your brand and helps build trust with potential customers.
9. Optimize for Mobile: With the increasing use of smartphones for online shopping, ensure your website is optimized for mobile devices to provide a seamless shopping experience. Test your website on various devices and screen sizes to ensure compatibility.
10. Provide Exceptional Customer Service: Deliver outstanding customer service before, during, and after the sale to build loyalty and encourage repeat business. Respond promptly to customer inquiries, address concerns, and resolve issues to ensure a positive shopping experience.

By implementing a combination of these strategies and continually measuring and optimizing your efforts, you can effectively promote your eCommerce business and drive growth and success.
Follow Oliver Rose for more such insightful posts!

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"Janeway was the most accomplished captain in the universe. [...] Jean-Luc Picard Is a Diplomatic Force Who Upholds Starfleet Morality [...] Where other captains turned to protocol or reason, Kirk was driven by his gut and his emotions. This was often an asset, but sometimes a detriment.
Burnham is the only captain fans have watched go from no rank to command, and that journey makes her great. Of course, she's as bad as Captain Kirk when it comes to violating the Starfleet rule about ship captains going on away missions. Captain Burnham knows when to apply force and when to act with compassion. Once she arrived in the 32nd Century, she rededicated herself to Starfleet and the Federation, standing as one of the best examples of heroism and leadership they have."
Joshua M. Patton (CBR)
https://www.cbr.com/every-star-trek-series-captain-ranked/
CBR:
"A starship is only as good as her captain, and the same can be said for any Star Trek series. Luckily for the universe created by Gene Roddenberry six decades ago, there is no shortage of good captains to go around. The real question to consider is what exactly makes a "good" Star Trek captain? [...]
1) Janeway
Kathryn Janeway Is Starfleet's Most Impressive and Important Captain
In the first episode of Star Trek: Voyager, Captain Kathryn Janeway stranded her ship and crew 75,000 light-years from home to save the lives of an alien race who only lived nine years. Once caught in this hopeless situation, she integrated Maquis rebels into her crew and maintained Starfleet discipline when any other captain would've faced mutiny. She remained steadfastly committed to Starfleet ideals on her mission to get the crew home, despite the personal guilt and depression she felt because of her decision. With no Starfleet superiors to turn to for guidance or help, Janeway was the most accomplished captain in the universe.
Janeway was the first captain to make an alliance with the Borg, even saving a number of drones when that wasn't thought possible. Later, after violating the Temporal Prime Directive, she was able to get her crew back home and dealt a near-fatal blow to the Borg Collective in the process. Later, in Star Trek: Prodigy she faced her fear and traveled back to the Delta Quadrant to find and rescue Chakotay, her former first officer. While remaining a tough, demanding captain, Janeway became a mother figure to the crew of the USS Voyager and the USS Protostar. Starfleet is full of impossibly awesome heroes, but even among them Janeway stands alone.
[...]
2) Kirk
James T. Kirk Is the Very Model of a Modern Starfleet Captain
In Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Leonard McCoy perfectly summed up what made James T. Kirk a quintessential Starfleet captain. "You did what you always do," he said to him after the destruction of their beloved USS Enterprise, "turn death into a fighting chance to live." Of all the captains on this list, Kirk was the best at balancing his role as quasi-military leader, explorer and friend to his crew. He inspired loyalty in his friends and enmity from his foes.
Where other captains turned to protocol or reason, Kirk was driven by his gut and his emotions. This was often an asset, but sometimes a detriment. Still, even when his emotions dominated his actions, like with the Klingons in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, he eventually did the right thing. He was deeply committed to Starfleet while remaining something of an outsider. He was a bit of a cowboy, from his eagerness for a fight to his penchant for romance. In Generations, Kirk was in "heaven" but he chose to leave that eternal paradise to help a fellow captain of the USS Enterprise.
3) Sisko
Benjamin Sisko Was a Captain, a Father and a Prophet
Benjamin Sisko should've been a captain from the second he appeared on the screen. He carried an authority and grit that no previous Starfleet commander had. He also had the unenviable responsibility of being the "lead" captain of a series when Starfleet was at war. Captain Sisko was a driven leader who made compromises when needed, specifically in the episode "In the Pale Moonlight." Yet, he was still a paragon of Starfleet, serving as an inspiration to many, not the least of whom was Nog, the first Ferengi in Starfleet.
Where Sisko truly excelled was as a father and a reluctant religious leader for the people of Bajor, not a Federation planet. In fact, because of his commitment to them through the prophets, he actively prevented Bajor from joining the Federation. This ultimately saved them when the Dominion War broke out. He continued to serve after his personal tragedy at Wolf 359, but his central priority was to his family, specifically his son Jake. Captain Sisko isn't just the best father in Star Trek, but perhaps one of the best 1990s TV fathers ever.
4) Picard
Jean-Luc Picard Is a Diplomatic Force Who Upholds Starfleet Morality
Captain Jean-Luc Picard was the second Star Trek commanding officer fans got to spend time with, and he was very different from his predecessor. Unlike Kirk, Picard mastered the art of delegation and leveraging the talents of his crew to address specific problems. He kept himself at a distance, for reasons which weren't fully explained until Star Trek: Picard Season 2. Still, he was the captain who didn't just continue the Starfleet mission, but also carried Star Trek beyond the original crew that defined it. Picard also had his flaws.
Captain Picard resigned from Starfleet for moral reasons, which took courage. However, there is an argument to be made that in leaving the organization behind, he removed himself from the only position where he could solve its problems. Even though his brief assimilation by the Borg wasn't his fault, he probably should not have remained in command after that. As both First Contact and Picard proved, he held onto unresolved trauma because of it. Yet, no matter what Jean-Luc Picard does, he can't help but be a true hero.
5) Burnham
From Mutineer to the Center Seat, Captain Michael Burnham Flies High
While it surprised fans to learn Michael Burnham was the secret sister of Star Trek's most famous Vulcan, her Season 1 mutiny was very like Spock. The first three seasons of Discovery followed Burnham on her path to redemption. In the 32nd Century, Burnham finally took her rightful place in command. Of course, she's as bad as Captain Kirk when it comes to violating the Starfleet rule about ship captains going on away missions.
Captain Burnham's brash confidence and certainty in the rightness of her actions are qualities captains are lauded for but play differently when the character isn't in command. Captain Burnham knows when to apply force and when to act with compassion. Once she arrived in the 32nd Century, she rededicated herself to Starfleet and the Federation, standing as one of the best examples of heroism and leadership they have. Burnham is the only captain fans have watched go from no rank to command, and that journey makes her great.
[...]
7) Archer
Captain Jonathan Archer Was the Starfleet Prototype
He was almost impossibly stubborn, leading him to make almost as many mistakes as he did victories. During the Season 3 war arc on Enterprise, Captain Archer made ethical compromises such as attacking innocent vessels for parts or torturing a prisoner for information.
For all those flaws, Captain Archer showed the galaxy the best of humanity more often than he didn't. His sense of fair play endeared humanity to other species in the galaxy, leading directly to the creation of the Federation. There was no blueprint for him to follow, and he also had to deal with time-travelers trying to alter history for the worse. His willingness to challenge authority and confront political taboos proved that humanity made the galaxy a better, more compassionate place."
8) Carol Freeman
Captain Carol Freeman Is the Best Captain on Lower Decks
The crew on Star Trek: Lower Decks are, first and foremost, truly cartoonish characters in what is ostensibly a workplace comedy. They are able to be more reckless, less efficient and just plain sillier than most figures in this universe. With all that in mind, Captain Carol Freeman of the USS Cerritos isn't all that bad at her job. She is a careerist, which isn't often an admirable quality in Star Trek. In other series, her mistakes or the things she allows the crew to get away with, would be almost unforgivable.
Thankfully, like the rest of the Star Trek misfits on Lower Decks, in context, Captain Freeman has the heart of a true Starfleet hero. Despite the bumbling Admiral she was paired with, Captain Freeman helped bring a former Federation enemy, the Ferengi, into the fold. When she was framed at the end of Season 2 and arrested, her faith in Starfleet never wavered. Lastly, no matter how badly her crew screws up, Captain Freeman never loses faith in their ability or willingness to do the right thing. While this might not earn her a Starfleet promotion, it does earn the kind of undying loyalty from the crew all good Star Trek captains enjoy.
[...]
11) Lorca
The first captain of the USS Discovery, Gabriel Lorca would rank even lower if he could. Arguably, the revelation Captain Lorca hailed from the Mirror Universe was a big twist in Discovery Season 1, that may have hurt the show. As many fans and crewmembers alike noted that first season, under his command, the vibe was off. Still, as much as Lorca did not represent the best Starfleet had to offer, he has his merits.
His creepy affection for Michael Burnham led to her reinstatement, and she was able to stop the Federation-Klingon War she was blamed for starting. In the beginning of the series, the officers serving on the USS Discovery were not a cohesive crew. He forced them to work together, uniting the disparate group with a common purpose. Lorca's utter disregard for Starfleet ideals inadvertently guided the crew into an even stronger commitment to them.
[...]"
Joshua M. Patton
Full Ranking:
https://www.cbr.com/every-star-trek-series-captain-ranked/

1. Realm Guard by Noah Layton
Still haven't found the romance in this book but it's too early to complain since I'm only 21% in. I think I've seen a few elements of Gamelit. I feel it's likely to be a harem. But I'll keep reading particularly for the Gamelit and Fantasy stuff.
2. A Tail of Brushing by Kirk Mason
Monoromance fantasy. 18% read. MCs meet and begin to interact quite early, but even though it hasn't gone full on romance yet, it's been fun and refreshing.
3. Headpats After Dark by Virgil Knightley
Another Monoromance fantasy. 18% read. Fun read so far. It has the good boy/bad girl romantic dynamics that I like. Plus the personality of FMC is to my taste. Looking forward to complete reading.
4. 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne
A contemporary RFW, but I was sold on the good boy/bad girl trope in this one. 27% read.
5. Blackmailing Mr Bossman by Anna Hackett
Another contemporary RFW. The cover is what sold me on the book. I can't fully describe in words but there's something about the pose of the M/F couple on the cover that speaks to me. I get the vibe of strong, beautiful woman paired with a laidback gentleman that loves her for whom she is.
6. Dumped, Actually by Nick Spalding
A traditionally published contemporary romance written by a man. 43% read. 100% MMC POV. I haven't read a book so funny that left me laughing in a long time. It deals with a MMC recovery from a public break up to finding love again.
7. The Lady of the Shroud by Bram Stoker
Not entirely a romance. Gothic literature from the famous author of Dracula. But there's a romantic arc in the novel I'm curious to read, about MMC being haunted by a hot mysterious woman whom he fears may be a vampire.
8. Laura by Vera Caspary
Not necessarily a romance. A 1944 novel about a police detective who falls in love with a woman whose death he's investigating. The premise alone seems romantic and exciting for me.
9. Sex Lessons by Daniel Grant
Recommended to be on the discord. Haven't read much, but from all I've read, there's plenty of humor in this one. Plus it's contemporary and seem to be 100% MMC POV.

The novel begins September 3, 2006, a Sunday. In "physical time," our reality, Andre Agassi played and lost his final match of his career. Steve Irwin, the croc hunter, would die the following day from a stingray's three barbed venomous spinal blades puncturing his heart. Senator Barak Obama was still denying he was intending to run for President (he would announce in February 2007.) The number 1 song in America and the UK is Sexyback by Justin Timberlake. Egypt warned of Palestinian terror attacks against Israelis vacationing in Sinai. Charlie Sheen turned 41. 200 Taliban are killed in a major battle in Kandahar, Afghanistan. Iraqi leaders announce the capture of the #2 leader of Al Qaeda. Europe's space agency purposely crash-lands a lunar probe into the moon.
In short, nothing, on balance seems to have happened in the world that has any particular world-historical or even US-historical import. Just a day. Even searching back 4 extra days from September 3 - since we are told that the man viewing the art installation is now on his fifth straight day in the museum - nothing all that *important* seems to have happened on any of those dates, the way saying a novel is starting on June 6, 1944, or (obviously) September 10, 2001, or July 16, 1945 or November 22, 1962 would be of course trying to tell us something.
Q: why is Delillo's purpose (is there one?) for telling us this specific date? Why is it important that the man is there on September 3, 2006 watching this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a31q2ZQcETw over and over.
Q: who is the man? Delillo himself? Just a random unnamed character? Is it definitely Finley and Elster who are the two men who come into the room? The description of the older man "long white hair braided at the nape" [p.7, Scribner] certainly seems to suggest it is Elster, described in Ch. 1 as a man "with silvery hair, as always, was braided down into a short ponytail." If it is definitely them, what does it mean they attended a museum show together? Anything?
This is not the first Delillo novel to open with a scene where a movie, and anonymous characters' responses to watching it, is central to the narrative - Players opens with a movie being shown on a plane that is basically a silent movie of a terrorist machine-gun attack on waspy golfers, only accompanied by a pianist (yes a pianist) in the airplane bar filling in the suspense with improvised show tunes - and it is not the first to open with an examination of an art installation - Underworld, after the fantastic baseball game section - opens at Klara Sax's airplane bomber art installation commune. But this opening seems to introduce two characters obliquely, and of course only if you've paid close attention to the description of Elster's hair could you think back to it being him, perhaps.
"The nature of the film permitted total concentration and also depended on it." "The less there was to see, the harder he looked, the more he saw." [p.5, Scribner]
Q:Who is this person watching and why should we care?
Q: Did the opening sequence provide you any insight other than , perhaps, confusion? Something other than "what the hell did I just read?" What? Does your reaction to the opening sequence change when you know (if you did before this post) that the Psycho installation was and is real?
Moving on to Chapter 1 [p. 17, Scribner], we learn that we are on Day 10 of a 12-day period of time that relates the initial relationship between Elster and Finley. Finley, who is probably in his early to mid-30s and 73-year-old Elster are spending time at Elster's house in the desert to record a one-take movie of Elster's testimony of what it was like to serve in an administration that went to war under less than honest circumstances.
Our narrator is Jim Finley, a documentary filmmaker who has made exactly one film about Jerry Lewis's telethon appearances - Lewis, a "rampaging comic" to whom Elster would merely be a "straight man." [p.27] Elster, who Finley also describes as "not a man who might make space for even the gentlest correction," [p.22] is a non-political theorist being brought in to an administration to provide narrative to their war. I've seen references to him being based on Paul Wolfowitz, the political scientists who became Deputy SecDef in the Bush II Administration who famously nearly swallowed his comb to wet it to comb his hair in an image that likely sealed his fate in D.C. as unserious and ridiculous who was then shuffled off to the World Bank, but would Delillo ape the man AND mention him in the narrative? If so, that seems clumsy.
Q: Do you even take Elster serious as a character or believable as a "brain" behind the narrative of an administration going to war? A man who speaks in bad koans and aphorisms like "Time becomes blind." [p.23] and who reads Louis Zukovsky into the night? (Zukovsky famously worked on an epic poem called "A" for over almost 50 years, finally finishing it a few years before his death in 1978.)
Finley tells us: "To Elster, sunset was human invention, our perceptual arrangement of light and space into elements of wonder." [p.18, Scribner]. Elster has come to the desert to seek - something - we know not what and are not told definitively - but his narrative of what his role was in Washington was to create a interpretation of the "closed world" for the "plotters, the strategists" [p. 28] and ends up delivering to Finley what I think Finley was after - the cynical idea that Elster was giving form and shape to the government's bullshit narrative - "The state has to lie. There is no lie in war or in preparation for war that can't be defended. We went beyond this. We tried to create new realities overnight, careful sets of words that resemble advertising slogans in memorability and repeatability."
Q: Is Elster ultimately right? Did the country have a "shadowy need" [p.34] for such a narrative? See, for instance: "Let's roll." [probably in reality, "Let's roll it" referring to a beverage cart to break into the cockpit.]
"Shock and awe." "Global War on Terror" "Slam dunk" "WMDs" "The Surge" And perhaps most infamously "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques"
At the ends of the chapter, we get what counts as a cliffhanger in this slim novel: Elster's adult daughter would be coming for a visit, Jessie who was "otherworldly" [p. 36].

I went on a walk earlier today and was having a conversation that turned to the facets of success that the Zen tradition has over, well, everyone else. Here's me putting some organization to aspects of the conversation that we touched upon.

1000 Years of Recorded Conversation

This number is not an exageration or hyperbole, but a reasonable approximation of the longevity of the Zen conversation.
The earliest records of Zen conversation aka. Dharma combat aka. koans aka public cases we have come from Dunhuang and involve an heir to Bodhidharma named "Yuan" which places them sometime around the middle of the 6th century. Here's an excerpt:

6th Century

Dharma Master Chih saw Dharma Master Yuan on the street of butchers.
Dharma Master Chih asked, "Do you see the butchers slaughtering the sheep?
Dharma master Yuan said, "My eyes are not blind. How could I not see them?"
Dharma master Chih said, "Master Yuan, you are saying you see it!"
Master Yuan said, "You are seeing it on top of seeing it!"

The thread of Zen conversation continues on in these records. Some of these texts come from the conversations that dedicated record-keepers transcribed or unnamed Preceptors copied down and were later compiled. These records of Zen conversation were themselves annotated and conversed with by Zen Masters in subsequent generations thereby producing monumental books of instruction and practical guidance like Wansong's Book of Serenity, Wumen's Gateless Checkpoint, or Linquan's Empty Valley Collection.
Following the desolation and plunder wrought on by the Mongol invasion, the restrictive religious policies imposed by the Buddhists, and the subsequent rise of milleniarian cults with their own quasi-theocratic social agenda, the Zen conversation starts to fade in China.
We have records in China extending to around 1400. The aptly named translation by Cleary entitled "Zen Under the Gun" is evidence of this. The following is an excerpt from a Zen Master that came from Korea to study under a Chinese Zen Master and would carry on the tradition of preaching the Zen dharma to Emperor's.

14th Century

In 1347, on the sixth day of the third month, the emperor of the Great Yuan invited T'aego to Fengen, serving the Imperial Benevolance Zen Temple. After salutations to his majesty, T'aego went up to the teaching hall, pointed to the main temple gate, and said:
"The Great Path has no gate: where do all of you people intend to enter it? Bah! The universal gate of perfect penetration is wide open."
At the buddha shrine T'aego said: "Two thousand years ago, I was you. Two thousand years later, you are me. It has almost leaked out."
Then he bowed three times.

Almost.

1000 Years of Agro-Academe Egalitarian Communes

Agro-Academe

The Zen records are famous for taking place almost entirely on large agricultural complexes where agricultural as well as scholarly work were the lifeblood of maintaing the communities self-sufficiency. While this aspect of the Zen tradition had gone almost entirely unremarked upon in the Zen records due to its sheer normalcy it very much stands in contrast to the economic and social systems of organization that have risen (and fallen) throughout the rest of the world such as Manorialism, Serfdom, Capitalism, and Communism.
The agricultural aspects of the Zen communes are evidenced in the countless cases that take place in the context of the community engaged in performing agricultural work and the academic aspects of the communes are evidenced both in the cases involving someone reading something, referencing something they read, asking about something they read, as well as the countless literary and historical references that Zen Masters weave into the books of instruction.
The academic-LITERATE aspect of Zen communities has been deliberately misrepresented by Dogenists that cannot handle writing at a high school level about anything Zen Masters said despite claiming affiliation. It's a really sore subject for them.

Egalitarian

Zen Masters: No sexism. No racism. No special authorities in funny hats.
Foyan:

If one says, “I understand, you do not,” this is not [Zen]. If one says, “You understand, I do not, “ This is not [Zen] either. In the Teachings it says, “This truth is universally equal, without high or low—this is called unexcelled enlightenment.” My perception is equal to yours, and your perception is equal to mine.

Unlike religious traditions such as Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam (to name a few...) there is no tradition in Zen of affirming a belief in the "spiritual inferiority" of women or asserting that they should conform themselves to any fixed role in social relations with men.
The dharma-interviews involving women Zen Masters are some of the most intense and edge-of-your-seat one's out there. The one's we have translated records of are:

• Iron Grinder Liu
  
• Miaozong
  
• Mrs. Pang
  
• [Unnamed old women]
  

The failure of women's Zen voices to be preserved in equal proportion to their male counterparts they were engaged with is almost entirely due to the larger social mileau of sexism and erasure of women in non-subserviant roles from the public records that an extremely patriarchial society like China pursued with zeal at the time.

Commune

Unlike the phony kind of "work" of repeating religious apologetics, playing dress-up, or saying a few words over corpses that Priests while charging money from the faithful day-in, day-out--everyone in the Zen communities labored alongside everyone else and Zen Masters made a point of it to not exempt themselves from that.
The famous "No work, no eat" comes from Baizhang. It's nothing revolutionary in the context of Zen, but it sets the world on fire for just about everybody else.

Baizhang, the Chinese Zen master, used to labor with his pupils even at the age of eighty, trimming the gardens, cleaning the grounds, and pruning the trees. The pupils felt sorry to see the old teacher working so hard, but they knew he would not listen to their advice to stop, so they hid away his tools.
That day the master did not eat. The next day he did not eat, nor the next. "He may be angry because we have hidden his tools," the pupils surmised. "We had better put them back."
The day they did, the teacher worked and ate the same as before. In the evening he instructed them: "No work, no food."

1000 Years of Stability

As an undercurrent to the Zen conversation are certain...lifestyle choices...that everyone has to observe before they can meaningfully participate. They're choices that everyone already recognizes are necessary in certain contexts and lifestyles that are overwhelmingly associated with healthy outcomes in those observing them consistently. The undercurrent to conversation in Zen is known as the "Lay" Precepts.
Lay Precepts:

1. No lying
   
2. No stealing
   
3. No murder
   
4. No abuse of sex.
   
5. No intoxicating.
   

Observing this stuff won't neccesarily make anyone rich, famous, sexy, or funny. But that isn't anything Zen promises anyone to begin with anyway.
In their tradition, observing these kept the conversation flowing for a thousand years.
Why would anyone come to /Zen just to avoid talking about Zen?