Painful face and neck

Can anyone advise. My husband has been ill for a while now. It all started with a little spot/lump on his temple. Went to see a cancer specialist and privately a specialist dermatologist and both were not worried. He was still concerned so had biopsy, results not back but again worried.
He stated obsessing it was cancer and has been ever since,been a&e so many times and doctors lots, had ambulance out the lot. I am fit to loose my mind and beyond exhausted with it all. It's not helping my health or my daughters. I am at my wits end.
Doctors say its folicilitus but he had test done on it and it came back clear for viral or bacterial; but they still brushed him off.
He keeps going back but they won't help him or do more tests.
His symptoms now are: Tired all time and weak, losing balance
Spots come out across collarbone, shoulders neck. Some have started to heal, but he gets pain when more come out. Pain in neck and shoulders the other day.
Fun spot/lump under skin on leg and bruise type thing on ankle.
He has been given antibiotics which he was allergic to and then another set which he stopped after tests come back clear.
Any blood tests done are clear.
He is following medical medium protocols, Off no foods Doing morning cleanse, lm, cj, hmds Low to no fat and keep to evenings. Taking supplements.
Meditating mainly joe dispenza. He is also using bio frequency.
He is really struggling mentally and getting dark thoughts and feels very alone.
I am at my wits end trying to help him, I am preparing clean meals and all the mm prep for us all and it's exhausting me.
We need answers soon but don't know where to turn.
I looked into total health screening which is bio resonance, does mm say anything about this.
Can anyone advise.

hello, i just wanted to write this so people can defend themselves, im a former military officer in europe, so this guide is only for civillians.
before we start: if you live in USA or any other country that you can carry a gun easy just do it, things im writing is 100x more effective with any single pistol.
Concealment; pocket knifes are easy to carry, you can carry it anywhere with you and you should do, most of the time you need that knife will be at any random time, just carry a knife that you can open silently and with one hand, blade length around 7-18cm will be fine most of the time, opt for fixed blades, as people think butterflies and karambits are cool, butterflies can break easy with just one bolt holding the blade, karambit is designed for slicing and cutting, if you dont have any training with karambit it will make it useless.
Uses: the second you pull the knife, you ESCALATE the situtation to LIFE AND DEATH scenario, so keep that in mind and dont pull it because you got mad at some random dude at street, use it as a suprise element or when you intent to kill someone 100% or save yourself, a knife will always get you out of situtations compared to nothing.
Before action; knives are more scary than guns for most people, if you get pulled a knife you will know that its scary, human brain is designed to avoid stressing events, and your brain will actively try to get avoid being stabbed instead of being shot also be ready for gore, unlike guns knifes are much more violent,aggresive tools and you will quickly discover how much blood in human body, get a good grip on the knife, use icepick grip since you are intending to kill them, knifes dont really mock a human, even with most fatal stabs, you can at least still fight for 2-3 mins,
Action phase; so you decided to escalate the situtation, and you are ready for consuquences, open the blade quickly and silently, most people dont realise they been stabbed, so it will take you around 1-2 seconds to stab someone, with some 5-10min training it you can do it, after first stab our mission is to end the fight or gain time, as i said humans are tend to rate their injuries very well compared to other animals so if you stab someone the neck, face, body, they will back off and run, let them run. if they don't try to gain time if you stabbed these areas(i will detail them later) they much likely have no more than 3 minutes to enter blood shock and probably 5 minutes to coma.
Gaining time; after your first stab, you are fighting against clock, if you didnt get a proper stab, go for it again, with each stab you are fastening your opponents time to enter shock, but no person can be downed with one stab(unless movies) adrenaline is a real thing, after 3-4th stab, back off descalate the fight or keep harrasing them from range, no unarmed person can win against someone with a blade, even 3-4 guys cant beat someone with knife.
Where to hit?; we mainly try to hit arteries first, arteries can't be stopped bleeding without professional medical care, neck is a awesome spot, dont try to stab the skull, it will break the knife's blade, arms and legs are good since they can't be use their stabbed arm/leg after 30 seconds if you stabbed them from leg, especially quad or hamstrings, they will drop in seconds, they can get up but its pretty hard to run after that moment, chest area is good, but you can't stab the heart, its so hard any you need a special training for it, ribs can break the blade too, face is awesome spot to stab, it doesnt do a lot of damage but its so scary for most people they back off, especially if blood gets in their eye, they cant see, and you will win instantly, if you stab them in the eye(which is hard but try it if you had oppurtinity) they will at least be blinded or if blade reaches brain they will get mocked or die at scene, stomach area is good but a lot of fat covers that area for that reason, also be reminded you are not a professional, so you will be probably panic and just randomly stab everything you see.
Versus other knifes; dont, the winner of the knife fight will die at hospital, if they too have a knife, back off. if you dont you will both die, if they have a gun backoff, you are not john wick and you cant take their gun and stab them etc.
experiences; i will not get too much detail here but, i stabbed a guy in the neck around middle east, below ear, he didnt notice it for 10-20 seconds, after that he kinda realised the situtation and backed off instantly holding his hand in his neck, there was blood fucking everywhere, its no different than oil, its so slippery. after a minute he kinda felt euphoric and talked to me about how he loved her wife and didnt thinked to be dying like this, he was still standing still and slightly smiling, after 2 minutes, he fell on ground still awake, and i leaved after being emotionally shocked(it was my first time using my knife) he 100% died at there, literally pool of blood was there, everywhere, but not a single drop on the knife.
ex2; first time i had been attacked by a dog, i was in mosque's 2nd floor, holding my 2 hour guard in the night, so we will get back on foot morning, i heard some arabic yelling and dog barks, after 15 seconds later i heard paw sound climbing the stairs, and second i turn my back dog was on my chest, mauled me to the ground, i instantly got bit from my arm(we learned in training to let the dog bite our arm, dont pull it shake it etc) and pulled my mk1 bayonet, stabbed the dog very panicky, dog kinda whined and backed off letting my arm and laid on the floor whining, died a minute later.
so this is my guide, any questions are welcomed, also dont forget this guide is only for people who cant carry a gun, knifes are terrible for self defence, but great killing tools.

Apologies for the wall of text.
I have been in a physically abusive relationship with my now ex-partner for two-and-a-half years (please no judging). He began drinking again in January (after two years of sobriety), and the physical abuse escalated very quickly. Our relationship, which obviously wasn't that great before, devolved into something more poisonous and awful than ever before. I began building up intense resentment and anger, and over the past two months, starting drinking excessively (bottle of wine a night) to cope (poorly) with the pain. Any attempts at discussing/resolving issues with my partner were met with "you're crazy" and "fuck off" and name-calling. I admit, it would get to the point where he would barricade me out of our shared bedroom, and I would cry and knock until he would eventually come out and hit me, spray me with water while I was on the ground, and yell about how I was interfering with his sleep (which I know was abusive on my part).
To make a long story short, everything came to a head two weeks ago. We got into a huge fight on the way home from a dinner downtown (where drinks were served), and all I remember is him "pushing me out of the car" and leaving me in the road. A random family witnessed this. They picked me up and drove me to their apartment (all I remember is the apartment being very warm), after which I insisted on them driving me back to my apartment. When I got there, I apparently "went crazy" (yelling/screaming). I remember being extremely mad and hyper-focused on the fact that he "left me in the road." The neighbors called the police. I remember showing the police all the bruises on my body at various stages of healing. Not once did it occur to me that I could get arrested, it was so engrained in my mind that my boyfriend was physically abusive. But that didn't matter. The cops arrested me for "battery of a household member." My ex told them that I was kicking his face with my back up against the passenger door in the car, and so he opened the door and I fell out. He had a reddened cheek and a cut on his lip to prove it. They ended up siding with him because there was no proof he had abused me that night. I was so drunk that I didn't remember what happened on the ride home, but I'm sure he did something in order for me to be fighting him like that, not that it matters or that it's justified. Regardless, I didn't remember what happened on the car ride home, and I was honest with the cops about that.
So, here I am. I have top-secret security clearance (now suspended), my now-ex moved out (as have I), and a pending court case on my record. It feels like my whole life is falling apart. My now-ex is on my side, but I am up against the state. I have retained an attorney, who has told me that dismissal (before a plea) is the best course of action. However, it will still be on my record (not fully dropped). Is there such thing as fully dropped? I suppose I am here asking if dismissal before a plea is the best course of action? I want to move back home and get a new job there, when my clearance is reinstated/in good standing again, but I feel like I am now stuck here as the high-level scientific jobs I'd be applying for certainly wouldn't approve of this black mark of my criminal record. Any advice is appreciated. I am freaking out.
Edit: the state I’m in is New Mexico

I work with our local vet rescuing, rehoming and rehabbing neglected and abused horses, mostly mustangs. One of the mares in my care was pregnant and gave birth to a colt. He is now a month short of a yearling. I rescued his mom from a neglectful irresponsible breeder who bred purely for color. The stud is an absolute conformational mess and (in my opinion) should have never been kept uncut/bred. The mare is ehhhh… downhill and her feet were a major pain to fix/work with before I got her right and rehomed. She is as conformationally challenged as most mustangs
Unfortunately the colt got his dad’s ewe neck. I’m wondering what I can do to help this poor baby hold himself correctly as he ages and especially when it’s time for him to go under saddle. He is currently living on 95 acres with 2 ponies (24/7) gets plenty of exercise and good diet.

The master of ceremonies glanced at the paper in his hand, and a glimpse of confusion showed on his face.
Something was wrong.
“And the third and last team representing Farcrest. Lowell’s Orphanage!”
Elincia clung to my arm, fear and impotence reflected in her expression. We were supposed to be called Rosebud Fencing Academy during the tournament. I clenched my jaw and glanced across the pavilion, giving [Awareness] free rein. Lord Osgiria gave me a mocking look.
I cursed. Among the nobility, everything was appearances. The fact that Farcrest had to resort to a poor orphanage for representation spoke badly about the state of affairs in the territory. The nobles around us exchanged funny looks.
“Keep your heads up. That’s our call,” I said, loud enough for the whole pavilion to hear us. If nobles thought this would weigh upon our shoulders, they were wrong.
Ilya took position by my right as the team captain, and we entered the crescent-shaped arena. The cheering died. Our magnificent uniforms didn’t fool the crowd anymore. I reached the Marquis's side and saluted the VIP box. Only after Prince Adrien started applauding did the rest of the nobles acknowledge our presence.
The commoners in the stands hesitated to cheer for us. This wasn’t a gentle world. They didn’t care about the kid’s feelings. I glanced over my shoulder. Wolf was unfazed, and Zaon moved his lips, repeating, ‘Nervous is good’ repeatedly. Firana, on the other hand, was furious.
“Tough crowd, uh?” I muttered.
“It’s only expected. Orphans don’t get good classes. There is no reason to cheer for us,” Ilya replied with a grin. “Yet.”
Did she look so mature back at the carriage?
The crowd’s attention lingered on us for an instant before the next team entered the arena. To my surprise, a single team represented the royal family: a group of cadets from the Imperial Academy. Five young cadets dressed in plain black, guided by Holst, entered the arena. The crowd came back to life. Considering the opulence of the other teams, the uniforms of the Imperial Academy cadets were disappointing. Even my group was better suited to the occasion.
Holst stood by my left, saluting the stands with a dull gesture.
“Robert Clarke, good to see you still among the living,” he greeted me with a bored tone.
His words, however, sent a shiver down my spine. Did he know assassins had tried to kill me a few days before? Captain Kiln had sworn to keep it a secret. The coincidences piled up. Holst knew about the attack and asked Lyra Jorn’s help with the library when Luzian Abei had a small army of Scholars and Scribes at his disposal. I couldn’t help but think Holst was still in contact with the culprit.
“Preceptor Holst,” I coldly greeted, my brain too busy to formulate a more wordy sentence.
“I didn’t expect to meet my former students,” he added, looking past me at Ilya and the kids. “Certainly not in these circumstances.”
I swallowed my anger. This was a golden opportunity for the orphanage. Watching the skill of the imperial cadets could help me understand why Sir Janus had been the only commoner in Farcrest to assist the Imperial Academy. Even if we lost the tournament, we could improve our chances of getting them accepted into the Imperial Academy, putting them in the same echelon as nobles.
“Do you trust the ability of your current students to win the tournament?” I asked, examining the cadet’s faces. Three humans, a half-elf, and a harpy. They didn’t seem thrilled to be part of the tournament.
Holst laughed.
“These idiots aren’t my students. These five failed their first year. If they don’t win the tournament, they will be kicked out of the Academy,” he replied, shrugging. “For failures like them, I’d say they are the favorites to win the tournament.”
A glance at the Imperial Academy team revealed their strong shoulders and steady feet. Despite the lack of fashion, they looked like trained warriors instead of pampered noble kids. Their faces had lost the roundness of childhood, and their calm demeanor and sharp eyes revealed an intense training regime. I hoped not to bump into them until the later rounds of the tournament.
Our conversation was cut short because the Osgirian teams entered the arena. First, Lord Osgiria, then Lord Nara, and finally, a man dressed as a knight, followed by a group of kids in mismatched uniforms—each one with the colors of their respective houses. Lord Osgiria stood by Holst's side and greeted the VIP box.
If Captain Kiln were right, our team would fight Lord Nara in the first round. I expected the man to be a merchant with a comically large belly. Instead, he looked like a cunning gray fox. I had to remind myself that buying a way into nobility required a skillful negotiator.
“Three teams, Lord Osgiria? You don’t seem too confident in your chances,” Holst casually said.
The Imperial Academy had to be a powerhouse within the kingdom because Lord Osgiria swallowed any snarky remark.
Lord Herran, a tall and muscular redhead dressed in full warrior attire, entered next. I remembered him from the feast—boisterous, talkative, determined. The black mana-repelling axe hung from his belt, causing my stomach to feel sick if I looked for too long. House Herran only had two teams, one led by Lord Herran himself and the other by a man who could be his twin. Only half of the team members were human; the other half were different flavors of beast folk.
More than half of the kids had bright red hair like their lord. I wondered if red hair was a dominant gene in the Herran Dukedom because the kids looked healthy. There was not a trace of the infamous Habsburg chin. They were tall and robust like their lord.
I tried to glance at the axe’s runes, but Lord Herran was too far away.
“That’s lord Herran and his army of copperhead bastards,” Holst pointed out, laughing at his joke.
I doubted that having a dozen children the same age was normal, even more so for a noble, considering how difficult succession could be. Lord Herran must’ve loved to spread his genes.
“It’s okay for him to present his… illegitimate kids in an official event like this?” I asked.
“Do you like gossip, Robert Clarke?” Holst raised an eyebrow.
“I like to be informed,” I replied.
Holst seemed satisfied with my answer.
“Lord Herran is one of the few Combat Prestige Classes in the kingdom. He has the [Conqueror] Class,” Holst replied. “It’s only natural that he can do whatever he wants. Not even the king has enough power over Lord Herran to stop his… reproductive impulses.”
I nodded. The relationship between the royal house and the great three dukedoms was more complex than I initially thought. According to the stories, Combat Prestige Classes were, in essence, one-man armies that could create whole countries around their power. I wondered what kind of monsters the royal army found in the Deep Farlands to be obliged to retreat.
After Lord Herra, Lord Gairon entered the arena. The Gairon House was arguably the second most powerful family after the royal house, and their uniforms reflected their status. The blue was rich and deep, and the gold shone under the winter sun, seemingly casting the few clouds away. The crowd yelled and cheered. It wasn’t surprising. Lord Gairon was a tall, tanned man with hair the color of ripe wheat—the perfect poster boy and leader of the anti-war faction.
“He has to go down if we want the royal faction to have a chance,” Holst said.
It suddenly hit me. Holst and I technically supported the same faction.
“Lord Gairon is also a Prestige Class?” I asked.
“A [Sacred Knight], yes. Rumor says he reached the mythic level sixty,” Holst replied. “Let’s hope their teams are more… farming inclined.”
The crowd became more tame after the three big houses made their entrance. Lord Vedras received less than half of House Gairon’s support, probably because of the tax disputes between Farcrest and the Vedras dukedom. He had brought three teams.
Duke Jorn’s presence almost caused the arena to become completely silent—Holst told me he was also a high-level Prestige Class, a Shadow Stalker.
“That sounds dangerous,” I pointed out.
“Sellen Jorn is one of the most dangerous men in the kingdom. His mere existence was enough for the king to create a whole new duchy,” Holst said. “Take an Assassin and a Shadow Fencer, mix them, double their powers, and then double them again. That’s a Shadow Stalker in a nutshell.”
I tried to imagine it. The Assassin who attacked the orphanage would have had a hard time with any class without a skill like my mana blades. I had been lucky to have a favorable matchup against him; otherwise, I might have been dead. His capacity to disable my movement was scarily effective. A man with the skills of an Assassin and a Shadow Fencer had dangerous implications.
“Prince Adrien wanted Sellen Jorn as his Master of Assassins, but he didn’t want to leave his people in the north,” Holst said. “Walls, doors, bars, locks, nothing can stop a Shadow Stalker. Only the woven barrier of several high-level Fortifiers can stop him. Or so it’s said.”
Gears turned inside my skull. I wondered if Duke Jorn was involved in the disappearance of the evidence of Raudhan’s poisoning. He certainly had the skill to move unnoticed through the Great Hall. Stealing a box with shards of glass would be a walk in the park for him.
The rest of the teams passed in a blur as my mind reviewed the party's events. Sellen Jorn was undoubtedly suspicious. His lack of presence was as unnerving as it was useful for an infiltration mission. Could he be involved in Raudhan’s poisoning? Lord Vedras had denied the existence of any co-conspirators, and we were almost entirely sure that Raudhan hadn’t been poisoned by Ashroot.
Duke Jorn's political positioning was hard to determine. The northern dukedoms were poor, and just like Farcrest, they served as a bulwark against the Monster Surges. Four families controlled most of the kingdom’s economy and politics. House Gairon, House Herran, House Osgiria, and the Royal Family. The northern dukedoms didn’t benefit from the current trade routes and wouldn’t directly benefit from a new trade route into the Kingdom of Tagabiria.
However, they would benefit from a closer relationship with the royal family.
Duke Jorn had no reason to poison Captain Kiln.
Ilya tugged the sleeve of my jacket, bringing me back to the present. The master of ceremonies was finishing a long speech about the legacy of Stephaniss of Farcrest, the previous lord of the city and the Marquis's grandfather. Even the Marquis seemed bored.
“Prince Adrien will draw the matches for the first round!” The master of ceremonies announced.
Prince Adrien came forward, and an assistant brought a glass bowl filled with small wooden rods. He put his hand in the bowl, picked one randomly, and passed it to his companion. The woman dressed in purple read it out loud, her voice magically amplified. Her pleasant contralto voice made me think she was a singer.
“House Nara versus…” she received the second wooden rod. “Lowell’s Orphanage!”
Just like Captain Kiln had warned me.
I didn’t expect us to be the opening fight. The other teams returned to the pavilion, and a group of Scribes carried the System Shrine Shard embedded in its copper nest to the center of the arena. I assumed it was there to ensure all participants met the requirements for the tournament.
“Let’s go, team,” I said.
We formed next to the Shrine Shard and in front of Lord Nara’s team. The master of ceremonies activated the blue orb, and the kids' names, classes, and levels appeared before us. Luckily, Lord Nara and I were exempt from the crystal ability. Being outed as a Runeweaver wasn’t part of my plans.
Belya Nara, Geomancer Lv.3
Arel Nara, Warrior Lv.5
Lino, Soldier Lv.9
Jan, Archer Lv.3
Aiwin, Courier Lv.7
Firana Aias, Wind Fencer Lv.1
Ilya, Hunter Lv.2
Zaon, Classless Lv.1
Wolf, Classless Lv.1
The System prompts might have been big enough for the crowd to read because a murmur rose from the stands. I didn’t need [Awareness] to understand the commotion. Half of my team was classless in a world where Classes were everything. Lord Nara also seemed to notice the discrepancy between our teams.
“I’m feeling generous today, Mister Caretaker. I will gladly accept your surrender and spare you the embarrassment if you apologize for wasting our time,” Lord Nara said with a mellow, totally fake voice. “You can save the kids the shame of losing in front of their countrymen.”
The master of ceremonies looked at me.
“What do you think, Ilya?” I asked.
“The team is ready, Mister Clarke. We fight,” she replied without any hint of doubt.
Despite Lord Nara’s clever expression, he was underestimating us. I couldn’t blame him. He had lived all his life in a world where value was determined by class and level. Developing an eye for people wasn’t as helpful as on Earth, where it could mean the difference between life and death.
“We fight,” I said.
“Don’t say I didn’t extend the courtesy of an honorable withdrawal,” Lord Nara grinned, his fox-like eyes turned into thin lines.
The master of ceremonies nodded.
“The Rules are simple. The team that loses the coin toss has to choose its first fighter, and then the winning team chooses its opponent. Then, the roles change. Every team has two picks and two counter picks, for a total of four fighters,” the master of ceremonies explained, pulling a gold coin from the pocket.
I nodded. There was a level of strategy involved in the pairing phase. I could pair Firana against their weakest member to ensure a vast point difference. Or I could choose Zaon to keep things equalized. If I were Lord Nara, I would leave the Lv.7 Courier outside the selection. As fast as they were, they weren’t a combatant Class, but on the other hand, even non-combatants could develop useful masteries.
Zaon had a good matchup against the Soldier and the Warrior, as their combat skills were on the ‘basic’ side of the spectrum. However, the Archer, the Geomancer, and the Courier could present a problem to him. Wolf also had a bad matchup against the Archer and the Geomancer because he relied on solid and static positioning to use his muscles. Ilya and Firana had good matchups against the enemy team, but the enemy Geomancer worried me the most. She wasn’t just an Advanced Class, but a relative of Lord Nara.
“Here goes the coin,” the master of ceremonies said. He threw it high and caught it mid-flight.
Lord Nara kindly offered me the call.
“Heads,” I replied with a grin.
“Heads,” the master of ceremonies said, revealing the coin.
[Awareness] didn’t disappoint, but I made a mental note to keep it hidden from Ilya. She wouldn’t be on board with blatant cheating, even if we had the disadvantage. As cunning as Ilya was, strategy and cheats were completely different.
Lord Nara huffed. “Lino, you go first.”
The Soldier kid stepped forward. He was tall, probably a year older than my kids, but [Awareness] told me he was nervous. Soldier Class was painfully close to no class at all.
“Zaon, you go first. Is that okay with you?” I said, hoping the combination of Light-Footed and Lv.2 Longsword Mastery would match a Lv.9 Soldier with a couple of skills under his sleeve.
Zaon nodded.
It was my turn to choose and Lord Nara’s turn to counter-pick. “Ilya, you go second,” I said.
Ilya came forward, prompting a laugh from the rival Fighter.
“Do you want to fight the gnome, Arel?” Lord Nara asked.
“Yes, my lord. I’m confident I can get a ten-point lead over a Gnome Hunter,” Arel Nara replied.
A vein popped on Ilya’s forehead.
“Good. I chose my cousin Arel Nara for the second fight,” Lord Nara said.
Then, Lord Nara selected the Archer boy for the third fight, which put me in a tough spot. The Archer and the Geomancer were hard matchups for Wolf, and I lacked a fifth or sixth member to play around it. Nonetheless, the Archers weren’t known for their vast arsenal of skills.
“Wolf, you go against him,” I said.
Wolf nodded.
“Which leaves us with the last pair,” Lord Nara said with a mocking smile.
“Firana, you go last,” I said.
“Belya, my daughter, will be my last pick,” Lord Nara replied.
The dueling pairs were ready.
“So be it. The tournament's first match will be between Lino the Soldier and Zaon the Elf,” the master of ceremonies said, his voice suddenly amplified again as the Scribes took the System Shrine orb away. “Contestants, please go get your equipment. May the System bless you all.”
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Hey guys got this at the thrift and tried to see if it was an actual official t-shirt. Because of the unique tag on the shirt I haven’t been able to find a replica of it online. It says copyright 2012 on the tag, but no tags anywhere else, and has a stamp of the face right where the back neck tag would go I’m interested to see if it’s just a cheap copy or a unique piece

I have been using organic, cold pressed castor oil on my face, neck and also doing castor oil packs on my liver & thyroid and I have noticed an amazing difference!
My skin is glowing and my acne cleared up in about a month. I use it every night. The castor oil packs seem to be helping with my digestion too!
Just wondering if anyone here has experienced the same thing or has discovered any other great uses for it! 🙃

So 8 days ago I met up with a man at a hotel. The agreement was that he would let me stroke his cock to completion and I could go wherever.
I was straddling his legs naked. Stroking him. I eventually started frotting, rubbing our cocks together in hopes we would both cum. He took his fingers and had put them onto my asshole, which has an open cut from a blood clot procedure (got a blood clot from constipation issues which caused a small blood clot that needed to be cut lightly to be drained, right on my asshole) his fingers were wet, not sure if it was saliva or lube.. he had been stroking himself before. I dont think it was cum or precum, I hadnt seen any. He did have “BB” as one of his interest on his Grindr, and he was not on prep, said he was clean.
A few days later i developed horrible pain throughout my body, especially spine and neck. 8th day I developed chills and was throwing up, as well as some stomach issues. No swollen lymph nodes that I can find. But currently cannot get out of bed due to the shaky chill feeling and body aches.
I am not trying to offend anyone, nor want to piss anyone off so please be polite 🙏🏻 If you want to roll your eyes and have only negative things to say all you have to do is scroll past. Thank you.

I’m novice, only have 3-4 dives experience. I recently jumped from 10 m dive board in a pool and when I entered water I felt 10/10 pain in my balls, head and stomach area. I struggle to come up but somehow did. Massively struggled to swim less than 5 meters to the edge of the pool and nearly felt like I was about to blackout. I was helped my lifeguard who pulled me out from water.
Any idea what could have went wrong? Did i face plant or belly flop or something?
Looking for decent advice to overcome dive fear. Thanks

We've been doormats for clients for too long, creating and providing all sorts of different reports at their request even though that's not what we're here to do for them. Now that we are beyond short staffed, clients keep asking for more and more. And if someone did it for them last year, they EXPECT it (free of charge of course) this year. I just had a client ask for a special Raw Data report. They have access and permissions to run Raw Data in our portal. Granted she'd have to do all sorts of filtering and sorting, and it'd be time consuming and a pain in the neck to do it. But that's why they have access to Raw Data, for such purposes. How do I tell the client she can do it herself, in a way that won't get me fired?

Me 40m have wanted to kill myself since I was a little kid. Never felt like anyone loved me… didn’t really feel like my parents loved me they both vastly prefer their other kid from their other marriages much more than me. I was always just kind of in the way, wanting any attention, and just cried it out I guess. Get through school, somehow didn’t kms then. Changed schools too many times never had lasting friends, still felt like I was just used and tolerated by everyone in my life anyways.
More time, out of school, get married to my wife and have my son. The years were fine I thought, I thought we were living how normal people do, ups and downs. 15 years in, my wife flips on me, lies to my face day after day, acted like a totally different person, cheats on me multiple times, used me for money, and we get a divorce. It was terrible, wish I wasn’t born to avoid how much it hurt.
I never had someone in my life to talk to, never really thought anyone gave a shit about me until her. The betrayal and her just flipping on me, 15 years of this world, fighting together against it with her. I thought we were a good team. Other people would also comment on our relationship saying it seemed healthier and better than most. I felt the same.
Suddenly treating me like an enemy out of nowhere was so confusing and painful. She had devices logged in that she forgot that enabled me to see the full extent of it all, long after she moved out I watched them. It was awful. It’s all I think about and it was so bad. The one person I thought cared about me somehow orchestrated the most painful thing that I’ve ever felt. Nobody has hurt me and betrayed me so much, not even close.
Skip a few years and we are back together. She has apologized and owned up to it all, said it wasn’t me, that she was crazy and in the worst mental health state she had ever experienced. She seems genuine and treats me better than I deserve. But that doesn’t make sense, nobody can be that cruel without motive. The damage is done. I would have already made quick use of my gun on myself but I can’t do that to my son?
It’s been like 2 years back together, I don’t really know how many years honestly because it just runs together because all I do is think and hurt. I am not even working anymore but our financial situation is fine because of her. I am so tired of hurting every day because of it. She destroyed something inside me, that we made together, and I can tell it can’t be fixed or replaced. It was unique and irreplaceable. It’s all I think about. I am permanently hurting, just feeling betrayal and gut wrenching pain every day as the details of the torture replay in my mind daily. Some days are better than others but I want 0 days remembering she destroyed our family just to have sex with a handful of randos, some while still living at home with me and our son.
It hurts so much, I consider myself to be a complete piece of garbage but I honestly can’t even blame myself for what she did. Years later I’m still so confused why she had to hurt me so much. I just want to die. I would rather everyone think I disappeared randomly off because I imagine my son and parents would deal with it better. Better they hate me than feel like I abandoned them and gave up or whatever.
If we are back together now and everything seems perfect, I would have expected the pain to fade but it isn’t. I would really like to stop. There are so many days I hide that her old bullshit isn’t all I’m thinking about. There’s no reason for me to complain about it anymore, I obviously can’t get over it. It’s just beating a dead horse and I don’t know wtf she can even do about it at this point. She’s done everything she can I think. Seems like there’s nothing to do but end it. I’m so tired of hurting and constantly trying to figure out why she did all the things she did. I feel like it’s unfair that I can’t just kill myself. Everyone says it gets better or don’t let someone have that control over you. I am tired of waking up thinking about it and then trying to sleep and being tortured all night. 40 years is enough. I wish there was a god because he would let me die in my sleep. I want to point out I love her, our son, and my parents very much. I’m just tired.

I posted a few months ago on another sub that I suspected my partner of cheating and about a month ago I found out that he was. The entire sub told me to leave him and unfortunately it’s not that easy.
For some context I am pregnant with baby number two and our little one is just over a year old. After the baby came I definitely stopped doting on him and doing a lot of the stuff I used to do like (rubbing his back every night) because I was exhausted and focusing on our baby. Then the PPD hit and I have struggled with depression my whole life. He doesn’t believe in medication or therapy so I just wasn’t doing anything for myself. I stayed home and watched my stepdaughter and our kid for months while he was getting his rocks off.
Eventually he stopped engaging with me, began staying out late, stopped having sex with me except maybe 1x every few weeks.
When I found out he lied to my face about cheating I moved out and stayed with family. Unfortunately I do not have a car or enough money to start over. I am also very pregnant and was not prepared to be a single mom to two kids so I went back.
He has asked me to just be in the present and enjoy our time together but these flashes of him being terrible to me keep coming up. I do not believe he will not cheat again. He travels a lot and is always out of the house doing his own this.
As I said it’s only been a month since I found out. Before I came back he was calling me his wife and saying how important I am to him. He apologized profusely and acknowledged his wrongdoing but he flipped a switch one day.
Since I came back he’s been indifferent and seems to be going back to these habits of turning away from me. He said this morning that I am not acting like a wife so he’s not treating me like one and why would he change if I am not changing.
AITA for not being able to let go of my pain?

Hey everbody! I've been scrolling on this sub for a while now.
I've got a question... Since two months I'm going to the physio. She massages my triggerpoints and helps me with other pains I have. I'm going to try dry needling soon.
I am/get EXTREMELY sore in my trapezius muscles due to stress and emotional blockades. I have a very good posture and I workout/dance a few times a week. I have a fairly long neck, so when my trapezius muscles are stiff, you literally can see the muscles emphasized as 'bumps'. I use heating & cooling gel, keep my neck/trapezius warm and I try to massage myself. My physiotherapist also massages my trapezius every week.
Within 2 weeks I'm gonna see a professional masseur, and try cupping. I wonder what it's going to do for me.
But... I really feel the need to get massaged every day. Literally every single day. Does anyone experience this? I feel so 'stuck' physically and emotionally... And when I get massaged I genuinly feel so much better; ofcourse mentally because it's relaxing, but mostly because I truly feel like NEED it for my physical wellbeing as my trapezius gets so stiff and the muscles get literally hard as rocks...

first
Luna VI query: Set the source to the leaked files of the first reconnaissance operation of Irisa.
Certainly!
Luna VI query: What did Ryo do during the first hour of the war?
***
Ryo had already reached a state of full awareness after waking up, and yet he hadn't moved an inch, immersed in his inner world as he thought about what he and Elysira had done at night.
And what a wild night it was.
The way that she had skipped the journey to go straight for the finishing line had caught him unprepared. Still, with the mystery of their physical compatibility out of the way from the get-go, Ryo had been left with a lot of time to explore the other hiccups and perks of this interspecies endeavor.
From the occasional accident with her claws to the new possibilities her tail brought to the table, Ryo had enjoyed everything.
There was not an ounce of regret in him, but the memory of their last act lingered incessantly in his thoughts—a vivid Recollection of Elysira’s tail wrapping around his leg and letting silence prevail as his arm shyly enveloped her, allowing them to fall asleep side by side.
The one memory that held him in place, fearing their next interaction when the slightest of his movements would inevitably wake her up, mirroring what had happened all in the previous mornings.
What would she say?
Would she think that they are in a relationship now?
What would he do if the concept of casual hook ups didn't exist for the Irisians?
Ryo touched his face and shook his head, instantly deciding it was time to start his morning routine to distract him from those absurd thoughts.
The brain IO interface captured his intention, turning on the lights on the ceiling with maximum brightness, something that he was sure would wake her up at once given how sensitive to change all Irisians were.
And yet he was wrong.
Elysira’s head tilted away from the light as eyelids fluttered, but the only other thing she did before stopping moving was strengthening her grip on his leg quite a bit, making him realize that her tail had not let go of him the whole night.
Upon noticing how numb his leg felt, Ryo propelled his body upwards, intending to uncoil her tail from his leg and start his day. Hopefully, Elysira wouldn't mention what they did, and he too would be able to pretend it never happened.
However, the moment his upper body lifted from the ground and he got a full view of her body, he was unable to remove her tail from his leg, captivated by a simple but powerful sight.
With her hands inside the pockets, Elysira had used his jeans to restrain her claws, putting herself in a very uncomfortable position, likely afraid of hurting him during her sleep.
His eyes widened, dispersing his previous train of thought from existence. The hand that was supposed to be dealing with her tail moved toward Elysira's exposed neck instead, aiming to wake her up with a gentle touch.
And as if he had just perturbed the stillness of a calm lake with a stone, a barely perceptible ripple of yellow spread on her skin from the contact with his fingertips. It traveled through her neck, reaching the soft lines of her face, and even traveled down her long hair strands.
At the same time that it felt wrong to be able to take a peek at her emotions so easily, Ryo couldn't help but wonder—which other colors had the darkness stolen from him? While immersed in this question, Ryo kept caressing her neck until her eyes opened slowly, resetting all the back spots of her body at once as consciousness took control over instinct.
Elysira’s grip on his leg loosened when she realized she was overdoing it. Her gaze started scanning every inch of him, starting from the accidental scratches of her own making and unashamedly stopping at places she had not seen before.
Unbothered by her curiosity, he even removed some of the loose strands in front of her eyes and threw them behind her long ears to make her job easier, feeling some apprehension only when she lost interest and sought eye contact.
Traces of purple appeared around her black spots as she spoke. "What do you humans do after... what we did?"
Ryo winced, but his tone was gentle. "Silly girl!" He felt deep regret for how he had skipped the part of Irisian relationships in favor of politics when she was teaching him about her species. "It could be everything or nothing."
He expected some intense reaction from Elysira, but there wasn't a lot of emotion showing. As he searched her skin, he also realized he was unable to look at her the same way as before.
From seeing her small breasts, which he now knew for a fact fit on his hands, to the very memory of all evenness that he now was able to associate with the sheen her skin exhibited from certain angles, Ryo realized he had lost the ability to gauge her emotions without feeling a hint desire.
She noticed how long he was staring at her and a hint of yellow appeared. "I don't need everything, but nothing is not enough!"
How did Ryo fail to see that this conversation would inevitably happen when they were having fun at night?
"Oh!" He was unable to keep his mouth shut, which resulted in red and purple manifesting on her skin as he felt the pressure for a quick reply.
He had heard the Irisians speaking terms such as chosen, mate, and family, but Ryo didn't know much about this, and now was not looking like a good time for asking for clarification.
The translator would do its job in conveying his intention. But what would he say? Friends with benefits maybe? He gave up that one on the spot; he didn't consider their previous relationship a friendship, and somehow, he felt a dangerous desire to want more than that from her.
Under the pressure of his previous mistake, he told her the highest relationship he was willing to have without a care in the world for consulting his superiors. "Is girlfriend good for you?"
Elysira’s eyes widened as her skin maintained the same tones. But it lasted only a second before a golden hue took over, leaving little room for her black spots. "Wait, are you serious? I never thought you would consider anything more than being my exclusive pair."
"I am serious, but what's the difference?" Ryo instantly felt he could have gotten away with being just friends with benefits.
"Two differences." She took her clawed hands from the pockets of his jeans and pressed them against his neck in a fast but controlled movement. "One is implied trust." Her head approached him slower as if she would kiss him, but instead, her lips diverted toward his ears where she whispered, "And the other is a promise for the future."
"That seems alright."
As he said that, Elysira had already started taking little bites on his earlobe, her other hand joining around his neck while her tail was sneakily pushing the rest of her body on top of him.
"This will have to be quick, we-"
Ryo was about to give up the time they had for breakfast, when a powerful explosion shook the ground, causing the whole tent to vibrate.
Elysira’s pointy ears began to twitch and her body receded, trying to get of clue of what happened as she displayed purple. "I hear nothing."
"This was not far from here; I don't think it was a landslide." Ryo summoned a window with all the cameras outside and found nothing unusual, even with the infrared inspection.
Elysira could see what he was doing since they had never left the shared augmented space.
"Can we see what Amara is doing? She might know more than us."
He still was incapable of referring to her as his girlfriend even in his thoughts, but he still felt a hint of pride for her quick thinking. "Let's see."
He quickly summoned a live feed and promptly instructed the AI to go through the recordings of the whole night. "Nathan and that princess are still inside the tent. Time to go there."
Ryo wasted no time explaining, quickly standing up to begin the search for his underwear. The floor was still littered with paper sheets, and there were even some opened water bottles around, but he still found what he was looking for before pulling his jeans from under Elysira’s butt and getting dressed with haste.
He wore his shoes but didn't bother with his shirt and jacket, just taking his already loaded gun from the holster and getting some spare ammunition before heading outside cautiously.
"I'm going with you." She got out of the tent almost at the same time as him, proving that not needing clothes had its advantages.
"Stay close." He activated the infrared view mode and scanned the surroundings just to be sure, then hasted his steps towards Nathan's tent which was about forty meters ahead.
There was little he expected would go wrong on such a short journey, but Elysira’s ears began to twitch halfway through, prompting him to stop advancing. "Hear someone?"
"Something." She then used her tail to point uphill, in the direction where the rest of the group had set camp on the previous day. "I think it's a drone."
"Fuck, I hope you are wrong." He raised his 3D-printed revolver and felt like cursing more at the fact he didn't even have a proper pistol, pulling back the harmer and getting himself in front of Elysira.
Thanks to her acute hearing, when he heard the buzzing of the drone, his gun was already pointing in the right direction. Upon getting the first glimpse of the flying object and noticing how fast it was moving, he didn't hesitate to do a partial activation of combat mode.
The world slowed down for a moment, allowing him to see the device flying among the very few beams of blue light that made their way through the canopies. He didn't wait a single second and corrected his aim slightly to the left before pulling the trigger.
Bang!
The drone was torn to pieces and many parts fell about twenty-five meters away from them, at a distance that any explosives wouldn't hurt himself or Elysira.
When his eyes found her behind him, there was yellow and purple on her skin as she asked, "What if it was friendly?"
"The owner can send the bill up the chain for all I care." Ryo lowered the gun and did a full scan all around once more, only to find nothing again.
Her tail wrapped around his arm as all purple on her body disappeared, leaving only a hint of yellow. "Amara won't be happy if it was hers."
Just as Elysira spoke, a circular door opened on Nathan's tent, and Amara took a step outside with red filling her body.
Ryo pictured a scene of a princess complaining about her lost drone, but things only got more complicated instead.
Nathan emerged after her, and the pair began to argue loudly about what to do now that a war had broken out; Amara wanted to march uphill to join her guards, but Nathan held her by the tail when she was about to leave and prevented her for moving, saying it would be too dangerous.
Their argument turned into a messy mixture of the present situation with Amara sulking about a wasted night, which led Ryo to exchange a look of surprise with Elysira.
But their surprise only lasted a moment and Ryo decided he couldn't let those fools keep wasting valuable time.
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
He had their attention now. "Please don't tell me you're mad because the plant lover couldn't get it up."
Under normal circumstances, Ryo had no doubt his assholish behavior would only instill shame and improve their cooperation.
However, he forgot to account that he was not wearing a shirt, leaving all his scratches exposed while Elysira was disheveled by his side, which caused Nathan's jaws to drop followed by Amara throwing an indignant gaze at Elysira and then at Nathan, who gave Ryo the feeling he might snap at any time.
"Why are you here?" Nathan's calm voice didn't match his clenched fist and rigid posture.
"Information. I want her to tell me what she knows about this war." Ryo had learned about the war by overhearing their previous argument.
Surprisingly, Amara was cooperative. "My brother's army found our position. They were not aware I was here with Nathan and ambushed the rest of my people and Zara; you destroyed their drone but if they saw us they might have a good reason to come here."
"Fuck!" He turned to Elysira and ordered. "Go back and gather my things. Take the essentials first, we are leaving."
Elysira used her tail to squeeze his arm in acknowledgment and rushed back. But when she had barely taken a few steps, she stopped as her ears moved. "More drones are coming!"
After alerting him, she ran to accomplish her task, leaving Ryo in the company of just Nathan and Amara.
"Isn't that great?" He grumbled to himself, but his voice carried loudly, obtaining the pair's attention as he raised his revolver again.
Knowing that the enemy was probably aware of their position, Ryo used infrared view mode to ensure they weren't using the drones as a distraction to pull off an ambush.
And that didn't seem to be the case when the first machine appeared, flying downwards in zigzag from the concentration of trees uphill.
Again Ryo used a partial activation of combat mode and aimed at the drone, yet this time more of them appeared, leaving the cover of the woods in groups of three until there were nine of them in total. But they didn't even try to get close this time, choosing to hover next to the canopies more than two hundred meters away from him, and assuming something akin to a structured formation.
This was extremely weird and enough of a reason for him to retreat a little, getting closer to his tent and taking cover behind a tree.
Nathan and Amara moved too, the botanist getting inside and returning with his gun while Amara's colors blended with his tent becoming hard to spot.
Assessing the new situation in an instant, Ryo concluded it would be better not to engage and retreat considering that those drones would be hard to take down at such distance. But things changed again quickly when the AI triggered a pop-up window, showing that several of the cameras he had set up in strategic places were capturing movement.
And what he was seeing now were several armed groups of Irisians heading towards their position, confirming Amara's supposition that the rebels were coming for them.
With the situation getting grimmer with every passing moment, Ryo thought of a possibility for what the drones might be doing, but his mind was still refusing to believe that the rebels could be as organized as his worst-case scenarios were giving them credit for.
To test this, he immediately tried to contact the space station through radio transmission, and since being found by the enemy was no longer an issue, he set the transmitter to maximum potency to validate his test.
Unable to establish a two-way connection.
He frowned even though that was not totally unexpected.
With only a few minutes at best before this place was filled with enemies, they would have to leave fast or they would be at the mercy of the enemy.
But first, there was something he wanted to say to Nathan, who now was using his tent for cover together with Amara. "Listen up, those fuckers are jamming our comms and they will be here at any time. Take the MLBCS and find a clearing to use it, I doubt they can interfere with the laser. Just don't forget that your immediate safety comes first or else you might not be among the living when the pod arrives."
Ryo and Nathan were technically enemies, but the last casualty in the war between Earth and Mars had happened several years in the past, ensuring that he had no reason to wish any harm for the botanist even though he didn't like him.
As for Amara, it was a little different. He hurried back to his tent without saying anything to her. And he did that not because he wished her harm, but simply because he didn't understand what she had at her disposal to offer any useful advice.
"Wait, what are you gonna do?" Nathan shouted from a distance.
With the adrenalin of seeing how many Irisians were coming helping his sincerity, he shouted back. "I'm not leaving the planet unless mission control finds a way to save Ely too."
After that, Nathan and Amara disappeared from his mind as he took cover behind his tent, slamming his hand against the foldable fabric many times to get Elysira's attention. "Hurry up, we can't stay here any longer."
She left immediately after, struggling to maintain balance as she used a hand plus her tail to carry his backpack, while her gun threatened to tumble from her gasp in her other hand.
And besides, one thing that Ryo’s eyes were immediately drawn towards was the clothes she was wearing—his clothes. While her legs were still exposed, his jacket still covered a bit more than her hips, loosely engulfing her slender frame like a billowing sail.
"I put the food and water in your backpack." She let go of the heavy item right over his feet as she put the gun on the ground and lifted her arms for him to recover his jacket and t-shirt. "You can get dressed while the tent folds."
He might have allowed her to keep the jacket if not for it being an inconvenience to her, so he just took it, making the first time he saw her wearing clothes a very short experience.
"No time for that, it won't fold with all the paper you left on the ground." He said as he swiftly slipped his arms into the sleeves of the jacket and zipped it up in one smooth movement.
Ryo was already considering which path they would take to flee when he noticed something terrible—Elysira’s skin had just been filled with gray as tiny black spots began to appear and disappear as if rain on the sand of a desert.
"What's it now?" He asked, trying to hide how unprepared he was to deal with this.
"Nothing has changed." Elysira averted her eyes. "I'm a burden to you just as I was to Amara. If I had-"
"Oh, shut up and quit the self-pity!" Ryo realized he was being too harsh, but still went on to finish it. "The paper is our mistake and I'm staying because I like you. This simple. Now get your gun and use your goddam camouflage, just like that princess is doing."
Ryo felt awful after saying this, and Elysira seemed quite taken about as she stared at him with wide eyes.
A moment later, however, she bent over and took the gun from the ground, her exterior blending quite well with the surroundings.
Ryo felt bad for her, but now there was no time to talk. "We run now, let's go."
The sound of his own steps was all he heard as they were putting some distance from the tent, making it so that he had to check on Elysira every couple of steps he took to ensure she was following him.
It was only when he heard some gunshots from far behind that he felt her claws tugging at his jacket from behind. "I hope Nathan is like you."
***
This was an account based on what Ryo did during the first hour of the war. The previous narrative is based on the events of the morning of the twentieth day of the exploratory mission of Irisa. According to your current settings, no queries will be suggested.
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Dearest Love,
It has now been 264 days since I last heard your voice. That I could see the disappointment on your face. I wish I had realized at that moment that it was my last chance to reach you. But a fool is foolish. And I am a fool, always have been.
Where should I start?
That I've been in love with you since we were in elementary school together? Or the fact that you broke my heart for the first time at the age of 14 when you met your first boyfriend?
Of course you weren't aware of any of this. When you disappeared from my life overnight at the age of 15, you didn't realize that it had shattered my world. I really thought back then that I would never see you again.
All my friends were in love with you. One even wrote you love letters. You never found out who'd send you these.
For us you were mysterious. So serious. So sad. So brave. So cheeky. So loud. So quiet. We were too young and too stupid at that time to understand what you were going through at home. To us you were just a beautiful mystery.
I had my own tragedies at home and I dreamed myself away. With you. And just then you disappeared. Nobody knew where you were and nobody had a clue what happened to you. There were the wildest rumors, but nothing tangible.
Five years later I was drunk in the club and you smiled at me from across the bar. I swear I was immediately sober. It was like I had seen a ghost, but you were real. Damn you were real!
You asked me how I was doing and whether life had been good to me. This was the happiest night of my life and I didn't want it to end.
When we said goodbye at dawn, I asked you if we would see each other again and you said, "Meet me at the party at Fusion on New Year's Eve." Damn, that was still 3 months away and how was I supposed to find you there? Among hundreds of people?
I found you. Exactly at midnight and we kissed. From that day on we belonged together.
But two children from broken families. This is destined for chaos and pain.
I moved to the other side of the country with you to put the past behind us. But you can't run away from your problems. They will always follow.
We dealt with the pain within us differently. You wanted to talk about it. About you, about me, about what happened in our families. I wanted to be silent.
You solved your problems in therapy. I drowned my problems in alcohol.
At the beginning of our relationship we went dancing together a lot. We celebrated, we drank, we looked for intoxication. But then you changed. And I stayed the same.
You hid in books. I hid in clubs. You looked for new friends. I kept the old ones.
You've started studying and pretty soon you got a scholarship. Now you were no longer just beautiful with a loving soul, but also eloquent and smart.
And I? I became mean. I disappeared for nights at a time. I didn't keep my promises. I drank, I gambled, I did drugs. I woke up in strange apartments and had trouble with even stranger people.
And so the past had caught up with me and the future was calling for you. But you didn't want to give up on me and I didn't want to lose you.
So I pulled myself together, looked for a good job and I earned good money. But one can't keep a woman like you with dollar bills. You never looked for expensive gifts or status. All you ever looked for was love, respect and sincerity.
And I was not sincere.
You wanted respect. I laughed at you. You wanted love. I left you alone. You wanted to be my friend. I was your enemy.
And so you slowly said goodbye.
You didn't want to have to fight all the time anymore. You didn't want to have to cry because of me anymore. And I get that.
First you moved out. Then you had less and less time for me. When I called you, you often didn't answer the phone. When you did I heard you laughing on the phone with your friends in the back. You seemed to have a lot of fun. But you hardly laughed with me anymore.
264 days ago we had set up a date. We hadn't seen each other for two weeks. I canceled half an hour before I was supposed to pick you up. You were angry. "Why can't you just keep a simple promise?" I told you I was sick. A lie. Two hours later you showed up at my door. You brought me muffins, tea and some meds.
And I? I was hungover, playing poker.
The disappointment. The disappointment on your face. You asked me if I really ditched you for a poker game.
And I? I replied with, “At least I won $1,000.”
You gave me a sad little smile and asked me if I had anything left to say to you.
I laughed at you and said you were childish. That you're being overdramatic as always. That you're always causing stress.
And you said, "okay, if that's all you have to say, I'm leaving now."
I said we can see each other tomorrow.
And you said, "No, I'm leaving. For good."
You've said it a thousand times before, but this time I knew it was different.
I held you back and looked into your eyes saying: "I want to change. I really do. But I need time and your patience."
And you said: "You've had 10 years to appreciate what we had. Now you have the rest of your life to accept that I won't be a part of your life anymore."
You left.
264 days have passed since then.
Not a word from you.
Every day I try to reach you.
You're gone.
For good.
All our old friends know you're gone. But no one talks to me about it because they know I messed up.
Since you left, I can't go on anymore.
I dream of you constantly. Sometimes I look for you and ask about you and everyone acts like you never existed. And I feel the despair until I wake up crying.
Sometimes you're standing far, far away from me and I try to get to you, but I can't move a step. So I call you, but you don't hear me. Then I shout louder until I wake up from it.
Then I lie in bed with my heart racing slowly remembering that you are no longer here. And that it is my fault.
My best friend forced me to go on a date. The woman I was on the date with came closer. She kissed me and I started crying.
I've never felt as bad as I did in that moment. I wasn't ashamed. It was the sadness that burst out of me.
I know people will say it will pass. That I will fall in love again someday. But I do not care. I lost you. I lost the person who believed in me the most. I lost the love of my life.
And it's my fault. I will never be able to forgive myself for this.
That's what was left to say.

Hello. My wife was walking with our dog and 2 dogs attacked our dog that was on a leash, when they did my wife was pushed and fell into a parked car breaking her finger and busting up her knee. Our dog is 15 years old and the sweetest dog you'll ever meet. She screamed and eventually managed to beat the dogs away. The owner of the dogs is an older woman who just watched. Several neighbors came out to help my wife, 2 saw everything that happened. Apparently these dogs, a husky and a retriever, have attacked several dogs. One gal told us she carries pepper spray ever since her dog was attacked. We have their info and they are interested in making a statement. The woman with the dogs left when all the neighbors yelled at her to take the dogs away. She never returned to check on my wife who was on the ground still.
We called the police but apparently they don't respond to dog related complaints and we were forwarded to the local humane society. It appears they will take everybody's statements and will talk to the owner. Maybe a fine will be given.
My wife is home now from the doctor and bandaged up. Her x-ray is gnarly, the finger is fully broken and she needs to see a surgeon. She missed an important event at our daughters school beacause of this, and I have missed working today. The break is on her right hand which is her dominant and she is in a lot of pain.
Were both really upset by this and not sure what to do. I talked to a friend and he told me we could talk to the woman and ask her to make amends by paying our doctor and vet bills, or we can get an attorney. We're not money hungry, but talking to her seems out of the question. Maybe we could have a friend talk to her? The neighborhood is pissed which is surprising as we live in a pretty sleepy area. We have everybody's phone numbers and they all want to help.
My biggest reason to be here is to make sure I don't make a mistake moving forward, and to know what I can do to make sure those dogs stop attacking.
Oh yea, doggo is okay! He has some bite marks on his neck but no deep punctures. The vet shaved some of his fur and clean the wounds. Any advice would be great.

I'm not mute all the time. I'm autistic, and cannot speak when overwhelmed.
When in this overwhelmed state, it feels like being on a wildly-unsafe rollercoaster while starving (stomach pain), while being asked to mentally solve: sqrt{ [ P1(1 - P1) / n1 ] + [ P2(1 - P2) / n2 ] }, while the world seems insanely bright, loud, and every part of my clothing feels annoying and oppressive,, and while it feels like everyone is looking at me and demanding I give them some answer with 500 variables they neither see nor care about that will negatively affect my life. That's how it feels on the inside. On the outside, I become flustered, start stuttering, and my facial expression becomes even more blank (which people typically interpret as hostile, making them start to treat me like an enemy').
So I become temporarily mute. It can last for hours, days, weeks, or months. This has occurred, on and off, for my entire life (now in my 30's).
To try and calm down, I usually put on sunglasses + earbuds (nature sounds) + headphone + face mask. This has the effect of hiding my facial expressions (which I cannot control at the best of times), but of course also makes people treat me poorly.
What really bothers me is the fact that while shutting down and being mute helps me to feel better, it also causes me more problems when I have to deal with humans:
I know some ASL, but no employee ever does. I carry a notepad/app to write in, but everyone acts put-upon to have to take the extra 60 seconds to read. Worse: some businesses make it impossible to be mute without suffering consequences. For example, during a particularly bad stretch of a few months where I didn't speak, but I had to sign up for insurance. I sent emails to every name-brand insurance company you can think of, and every single one of them said I had to apply by phone. "If you can't speak, you have to use TTY," which, of course, means you have to give some random operator every single piece of your personal information. (I appreciate operators, but I don't trust anyone with all of my private information).
Note: I don't have friends/family to play the part of operator for me.
How do you all handle these issues? It feels like there is no winning. Like it's all a giant checkmate: "If you're different, then you lose. Game Over."
Thanks for listening to my rant...

Living in a small southern town, you get used to the way things are. I grew up as a military brat, so my childhood memories are a blur of packing, unpacking, and getting settled. It had been seven years since we arrived, and nothing but the grace of God would make me move again. A few years ago, my father got orders to station at a base in the middle of the Mohave. I was only seventeen then, but after a few dozen screaming matches, I decided to strike out on my own a little early. I got a part-time job at the cafe, which was enough to rent a little run-down shack a couple of blocks from downtown. As far as I was concerned, I was living the dream—serving coffee a few hours a week and spending the rest of my time hanging out with friends, listening to music, and drinking.
That particular morning started the same as any other. I woke up around noon with a text from Mark to meet me at the cafe. Took me about two hours to get up and head over. The sun had just begun its descent as I pushed the door to the cafe open, the bell above tinkling softly. The sound bothered me a little bit, but I couldn’t tell why. It seemed to ring a little louder than I was expecting, and gave me this strange drilling sensation inside my head.
I ignored the feeling as the smell of slightly stale coffee and pastries washed over me. I saw Mark and Jamie already sat at our usual spot. Mark looked up as I approached, a grin spreading across his face. "Hey, Alex. Sarah should be here soon."
“So what's on the docket today?” I asked as I sat down, stealing a bear claw off Jamie's plate and taking a large bite before he had the chance to protest.
Mark’s excitement was almost palpable. He was always the one with the big ideas and crazy schemes, which I honestly appreciated. They got us into trouble more often than not, but it beat day drinking in the Walmart parking lot like everyone else our age.
"Alright, check this out," Mark said, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "I was talking to my cousin who works for the county. He told me about this old, abandoned food processing factory just outside of town. They used to can peaches there."
I gave him a skeptical look. "That’s your idea? Old, canned peaches?"
"No, idiot," he scoffed. "They left behind a ton of nitrates and phosphates. I’ve been doing some reading, and we can use them to make fireworks. I was up all night figuring it out and putting these together." He subtly opened his backpack to reveal at least a dozen PVC pipes fitted on both ends.
"Now that's what I’m talking about," I said, grinning.
Sarah walked in, catching the tail end of our conversation. "Sorry I’m late, I had a breakout and had to stop by the pharmacy. Upped my allergy meds. I fucking hate pollen," she said as I scooted over to make room for her on the bench.
"Is there anything you aren't allergic to?" I laughed.
She rolled her eyes, ignoring my question. "So, what's the plan for today?"
Mark, Jamie and I exchanged cheeky glances. "Well," I started, "let’s just hope you’re not allergic to peaches."
We finally managed to pry the side door of the factory off, which broke free from the hinges and smashed against the floor. Stepping inside, the air was thick and rancid as we bounced the beams of our flashlights around the packaging floor.
"We should split up," Mark suggested. "Alex, you and Sarah check out the storage rooms for the chemicals. Jamie and I will find the control room and see if we can get the power back on."
All of us nodded as we went our separate ways. Sarah and I wandered down the dark hallways, kicking open doors and looking for anything that looked vaguely like chemicals. The corridors were dark and damp, with black mold snaking along the walls like veins.
The first few rooms we checked were empty, filled only with dust and the remnants of long-abandoned equipment. Each door creaked as we pushed it open, revealing more decay and desolation.
As we moved further down the hallway, the mold seemed to become more aggressive, spreading in thick, dark patches along the walls and floors. The air grew heavier, making it harder to breathe. We kicked open another door, our flashlights revealing more of the same—nothing useful.
"This place is a bust," Sarah muttered,
"Let's keep looking," I replied, though I was starting to feel the same way. "There has to be something."
We continued down the corridor, our footsteps echoing in the silence. As we approached the end of the hall, something caught my eye. One door stood out, covered in black, creeping mold that seemed to pulse and writhe. Tendrils of fungus snaked out from the edges, reaching out into the hallway.
"Sarah, look at this," I said.
She turned to see what I was pointing at and her eyes widened. "That’s... different."
We approached the door cautiously as the tendrils moved and swayed.
With a deep breath, we each grabbed one side of the door and pulled. It resisted for a moment before giving way, the mold snapping and tearing as we forced it open. The smell that hit us was overpowering, a mix of rot and decay that made my eyes water.
Inside, our flashlights revealed a horrifying sight. At the back of the room sat several pallets with dozens of boxes of peaches each. But it was what grew from these boxes that will haunt my nightmares till my dying day.
The entire back wall was consumed by a towering fungal mass. Thick, fleshy stalks jutted out from the base, climbing nearly to the ceiling. The surface of the fungus glistened with a slimy, wet sheen, appearing almost like rotting flesh under our flashlight beams. Each stalk was covered in a mottled, sickly green and yellow hue, with patches of black mold that seemed to pulse in the dim light.
Interwoven within this horrific sight were bulbous growths, each one throbbing rhythmically, as if with a heartbeat of its own. They resembled obscene, overgrown tumors, ready to burst at the slightest touch. Long, sinewy tendrils extended from the main mass, creeping over the boxes and along the floor like the fingers of some malevolent creature, seeking out any life to ensnare.
The tendrils near the door twitched, slowly inching their way toward us as if aware of our presence. The air was thick with spores, glimmering in the light like tiny stars, each one a potential harbinger of decay and death.
"Oh my god," Sarah whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of our own breathing. "What is that thing?"
We stood there, frozen in shock and disgust, before I slammed the door shut.
"Let's get the hell out of here," I said.
We hurried back down the corridor, our footsteps echoing in the oppressive silence. The lights in the facility flickered on, casting a blinding white light. I heard a bubbling, groaning noise emanate from behind the fungal door, sending a wave of nausea through my body.
We met back up with Mark and Jamie in the main area and quickly told them what we saw.
"Yo, that sounds sick," Jamie exclaimed. "We should blow it up. I found the chemicals in the control room and these bad boys are ready to go," he said, holding up a pipe bomb.
"Yeah," Mark agreed, his eyes alight with excitement. "We'd be doing the world a favor, getting rid of that thing."
Sarah shook her head, her face pale. "No way. I'm not doing this. That thing... It's not normal. We need to get out of here and call someone who knows what they're doing."
Jamie frowned. "Come on, Sarah. Don't be a buzzkill. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to do something epic."
"Epic?" Sarah snapped. "That thing is dangerous. We don't know what we're dealing with. I'm not risking my life for some stupid joke."
Mark stepped in with a grin. "Alright, let's all calm down. If you’re scared you can just let the men handle it.”
Sarah crossed her arms. "Fine, but I'm staying here."
"Suit yourself," Jamie said, shrugging. "But we're not leaving without taking care of that thing."
"Alright, let's do this," Mark said, looking at Jamie and me. "We'll be quick. Sarah, stay here and keep an eye out.”
The hallway looked completely different in the fluorescent lighting. I could see now that each vein of fungus emanated from that single door, like a spiral portal threatening to suck us in.
"Let's make this quick," I whispered, glancing back at Jamie and Mark. "We light the bomb, throw it in, and get the hell out of here."
Jamie nodded, holding the pipe bomb tightly in his hand. "Ready when you are."
We reached the door, and the tendrils of fungus seemed even more aggressive, writhing and pulsing as if aware of our presence. The air was thick with spores.
"On three," I whispered, gripping the edge of the door. "One... two... three."
We yanked the door open, the mold snapping and tearing as it gave way. The smell of rot and decay hit us again, making my eyes water. The monstrous fungal mass loomed before us, its bulbous growths throbbing rhythmically.
Jamie lit the fuse and threw the bomb as hard as he could inside. It struck one of the orbs, which burst, shooting a fine white mist into the air.
"Run!" I shouted, slamming the door shut. We turned and sprinted down the hallway. The explosion sounded behind us, the shockwave lifting me off my feet and sending me tumbling to the ground.
Living in a small southern town, you get used to the way things are. My parents were in the army, so we moved a lot, but now I'm staying put. I woke up around noon and got a text from Mark to meet at the cafe. The smell of slightly stale coffee and pastries greeted me as I arrived. The bell's ring seemed off, giving me a small headache.
I ignored it and slid into the seat across from Mark and Jamie. “So what's on the docket today?” I asked, stealing a doughnut off Jamie's plate.
“Going to go to an old peach factory and get some chemicals. I need to make some fireworks,” Mark replied, subtly revealing some pipe bombs in his bag.
Sarah walked in towards the tail end of our conversation and silently stood next to our table.
The three of us glanced at each other, unsure of how to proceed. “Sarah,” I finally started. “Are you ok?”
“Y-yeah,” she replied. “Are YOU guys feeling ok?”
We exchanged uneasy glances. “Yeah, we’re fine,” I said. After a moment, she shook her head and sat down as we continued our plans.
That evening, we broke into the peach factory. We found this disgusting, gigantic fungal growth coming out of some boxes of peaches and we blew it up with some pipe bombs.
The next day I woke up around noon and got a text from Mark to meet at the cafe. The smell of slightly stale coffee and pastries greeted me as I arrived. The bell's ring seemed off, giving me a small migraine.
I ignored it and slid into the seat across from Mark and Jamie. “So what's on the docket today?” I asked, stealing a maroon off Jamie's plate.
“Going to go to an old peach factory and get some chemicals. I need to make some fireworks,” Mark replied, subtly revealing some pipe bombs in his bag.
Sarah walked in towards the tail end of our conversation and silently stood next to our table.
The three of us glanced at each other, unsure of how to proceed. “Sarah,” I finally started. “Are you ok?”
“Y-yeah,” she replied. “Not really. Are YOU guys feeling Ok?”
We exchanged uneasy glances. “Yeah, we’re fine,” I said. After a moment, she shook her head and sat down as we continued our plans.
That evening, we broke into the peach factory. We found this disgusting, gigantic fungal growth coming out of some boxes of peaches and we blew it up with some pipe bombs.
The next day I woke up around noon and got a text from Mark to meet at the cafe. The smell of slightly stale coffee and pastries greeted me as I arrived. The bell's ring seemed off, giving me a piercing migraine.
I ignored it and slid into the seat across from Mark and Jamie. “So what's on the docket today?” I asked, stealing a bagel off Jamie's plate.
“Going to go to an old peach factory and get some chemicals. I need to make some fireworks,” Mark replied, subtly revealing some pipe bombs in his bag.
Sarah walked in towards the tail end of our conversation and silently stood next to our table.
The three of us glanced at each other, unsure of how to proceed. “Sarah,” I finally started. “Are you ok?”
“What's going on?” she asked, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m scared.”
We exchanged uneasy glances. “It’s fine, Sarah. Just take a seat,” I said. After a moment, she shook her head and sat down as we continued our plans.
That evening, we broke into the peach factory. We found this disgusting, gigantic fungal growth coming out of some boxes of peaches and we blew it up with some pipe bombs.
The next day I woke up around noon and got a text from Mark to meet at the cafe. The smell of slightly stale coffee and pastries greeted me as I arrived. The bell's ring seemed off, giving me a splitting migraine.
As I slid into the seat across from Mark and Jamie, I noticed Sarah outside, fixated on a bird suspended in mid-flight. I went out to see her.
"Are you seeing this?" she asked, her voice tinged with astonishment.
"Yeah," I replied nonchalantly. "That happens all the time. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
"What the hell do you mean, 'Am I feeling okay?'!" she screamed. "That bird is frozen mid-air, and you don't think anything weird is going on?"
Her yelling took me aback. I didn't understand her alarm, so I shrugged it off and joined Mark inside. As we began planning our nightly excursion to the peach factory, Sarah burst through the door, screaming, then vanished in a puff of smoke.
"That's odd," I mused, my brow furrowed in confusion before we shrugged it off and resumed our scheming.
The day after, I met Mark again at the cafe. This rhythm had become our existence: meetings by day, adventures by night at the old peach plant. That evening followed the familiar pattern; we reveled in the thrill of hurling pipe bombs into that small enclosed room.
This routine had completely engulfed our lives. Day after day at the cafe, night after night at the factory—it seemed as though this cycle was all we had ever known. Reflecting on it, I couldn't remember any other way of life.
However, one thing increasingly disturbed me—the ringing of the doorbell at the cafe's entrance. Each time I entered, the sound seemed sharper, more grating. Focusing on it brought a searing pain to my head, like a needle drilling through my skull. Yet, despite the agony, I found myself obsessing over it, the sound gnawing at the edges of my sanity.
One day, driven to the brink by this incessant ringing, I decided to confront it head-on. I stood by the door, letting the bell chime repeatedly. Each ring sliced through my mind, but I persisted, sweat beading on my forehead, teeth clenched in torment.
As the pain crescendoed, reality shattered. I woke to the blaring of a fire alarm, not the quaint doorbell I had imagined. The cafe was engulfed in chaos. The hallway was consumed by a sprawling fungal mass, its tendrils creeping along the walls.
In the dim, flickering light, I saw Jamie, or what was left of him. Half of his skull was missing, the fungus attached grotesquely to his exposed brain, pulsating with each eerie beat of his fading heart. Mark was there too, seemingly unharmed physically, but trapped in a delusion, his eyes glazed over, a smile playing on his lips as the fungus encased him.
Sarah lay collapsed by the fire alarm, her hand still on the lever. She had managed to pull it before succumbing to the spores that now clung to her body.
The tendrils that had enveloped me snapped violently, each break releasing a sickening crack that echoed through the eerie silence of the hallway. An outline of my body remained imprinted in the fungal mass, a mold from which I had desperately broken free.
Gritting my teeth against the pain and horror, I scrambled to Mark and Sarah. Mark was less entangled, lost in his fungal-induced stupor. I grabbed him under the arms, his body limp but alive, and dragged him across the floor. The fungus resisted, stretching like sinew before tearing away from him with wet, ripping sounds.
Sarah was heavier, her body weakened but still fighting. I clasped her wrists, pulling with all my strength. The fungus clung to her, tendrils winding up her arms like ivy. With a final, determined yank, the last of the tendrils snapped, freeing her. We left behind fragments of the monstrous growth clinging to her clothes.
Together, we staggered out into the night air, away from the suffocating enclosure. The cool air hit our faces, harsh yet cleansing. Behind us, the fire alarm continued to blare into the night. I fumbled with my phone, hands shaking, to dial the emergency number. The call went through, and within minutes, the sound of sirens cut through the stillness of the night, growing louder as help approached.
The next few days were a blur. I remember fading in and out of consciousness as nurses pumped antifungals directly into my IV, their faces blurring into the sterile environment. Once we were somewhat cognizant, the police wanted answers. One by one, we were interviewed, but we gave them nothing. I still don’t know what the exact penalty is for manufacturing explosives and using them to destroy a building, but I’m guessing it’s not community service. Jamie was still missing, and they hadn’t found any sign of him or his body. I tried to hide my tears as I knew he was already long gone.
After a few weeks, I was finally cleared for visitors and got to see Sarah again. She told me that after the explosion, she ran but couldn’t leave us behind. She came back, only to see us being consumed by the fungus. Try as she might, she wasn’t able to free us as she felt the oppressive spores take her under. She fought back and managed to pull the fire alarm before succumbing again. The doctors told her that her allergy medication gave her some resistance to the fungus; otherwise, she might have been a goner.
Mark was never the same. We never talked about what happened, and after trying once and him flipping out, I figured it was best to let sleeping dogs lie. That summer, he moved to upstate New York to work in his dad’s business. I haven’t seen him since. That fall, Sarah started college at Savannah State. I still call her every now and again, but it’s not like it used to be.
Despite all that happened, I’m not moving again. I’m happy here, and if it’s up to me, I’ll die in this little town. I still work at the cafe, as a manager now. On weekends, I come in and just sit at the booth we all used to share.
I still think about Jamie from time to time. I wonder if he's dead or still stuck in his delusion, picturing the four of us sitting at our table, talking, laughing, and passing the time. Sometimes, when the cafe is empty and the light is just right, I can almost see him there, his smile frozen in that moment before everything went wrong.
The cafe grows quieter each day, the hum of life fading into an eerie stillness. My skin feels different, as if the air itself whispers secrets I can't quite grasp. The itching that started as a minor annoyance has intensified, becoming a constant torment. I scratch at lesions that have begun to form on my arms and chest, red and raw, with patches of green spreading beneath the surface. I’ve started to wear long sleeves to cover my arms and a mask to hide my purpling lips.
Some nights, when closing, as I sit alone in the dim light of the cafe, the itching becomes unbearable. I claw at the lesions, feeling a dampness beneath my skin. Sometimes, when I cough, I could swear I see tiny spores hanging in the air, reminiscent of the bursting nodules growing on the stalks of the monster.
Occasionally, I hear the bell ring and the door open, but no one is there. I look outside into the empty night and see nothing. This went on for weeks, becoming more frequent. But one night, the door opened, and I saw Jamie standing there, the picture of health. I went to embrace him and noticed my lesions were gone too. It was almost as if we had never gone to the peach factory. It was suddenly morning, and the light shone through the cafe. For the first time in forever, we were happy. We talked about nothing, passing the time.
After what felt like hours, he told me it was time to go. But his mouth wasn’t moving—I felt like I could read his thoughts, and he could read mine. We stood up as I took one last look at the cafe and headed off with him, back to the peach factory.
As we walked, a strange calmness settled over me. I remember feeling that I wanted to ask if he had talked to Mark or Sarah, and wondered how they were doing. But deep down, somehow, I could feel their presence and I knew they were doing just fine. The sun was bright, the air crisp. The itching had vanished completely, replaced by an inexplicable craving for the sweetness of ripe peaches. Jamie and I shared a silent understanding, a bond deeper than any words could convey.
The factory loomed ahead, its doors wide open as if inviting us in. The familiar scent of peaches and something else—something earthy and ancient—filled the air. We stepped inside, side by side, feeling at home for the first time in ages.
The last thing I remember before the darkness took over was the feeling of the soft, warm peach flesh in my hand, and Jamie’s voice in my head saying, "Welcome home."