Rachel weisz sex scene

I’m a 28 year old female and I’m a late bloomer. I have never had a boyfriend before and I have never had sex. Hell, I haven’t had a proper first kiss yet. I spent most of my early adult years going to school, starting my career, moving to a new city and working on my mental health. I really was not in the right headspace to date or be in a relationship.
Once my mental health and self esteem improved, I decided that I was ready to put myself out there to meet friends and potential romantic partners. Therefore I didn’t start dating until I was 27. For the past year, I have met guys and formed friendships and have been going to social events in the city. I have been on a few dates here and there but I still I haven’t met a romantic partner yet. I have been really trying this year to put myself out there, go outside my comfort zone and meet people. I’m trying to be happy and confident in myself. I think I am a desirable and attractive person who has a lot to offer.
I am an emotional person and I have always thought of intimacy such as kissing, touching, sex etc as something I wanted to do with someone I trust and have some sort of connection with. I have been kissed by a few guys as I have been dating but it’s been without my consent and I didn’t reciprocate the kiss. So I don’t consider any of those my first kiss.
I do want to have sex but I am holding off on having sex until I form an emotional connection with someone rather than engaging in casual sex. Ideally I want to have sex within the context of a relationship. Casual sex does not appeal to me whatsoever. I don’t shame anyone for engaging in casual sex but the thought of a stranger touching my body in a sexual manner makes me uncomfortable. We don’t have to be in love but for me, I need to feel safe and be able to trust the person I’m with.
I am working with a sex therapist and a dating coach to help me as I navigate the dating scene and establish my boundaries.
I really want to experience all forms of intimacy but I still haven’t met someone where I felt completely comfortable and safe with them. I tend to be very hard on myself about my lack of experience. I am a successful person in other areas of my life: education, career, finances, home etc. But since I don’t have much experience with intimacy I tend to think I’m a loser. Im going to 29 in July and I feel like I’m running out of time. At a certain age, not having experience is a red flag right?

In Thunderball, after Bond is held at gunpoint, he says that what he did to Fiona was for Queen and country, and her reaction was, to put it lightly, a little overly miffed. I mean sure, it could have been about her confidence, but what she ended up describing about women’s reaction to sex with Bond was a little overly detailed, maybe it was how she felt? And that part of it about the girls turning to the side of good, maybe it was her way of saying that she wanted to be won over by him? Had she not been killed in the following scene, Bond probably would have had her on her back again, and pumped her thoroughly for information, maybe even made her an ally for MI6?

Trigger warning: sexual abuse
Throwaway.
I have never spoken of this to another human being after almost 40 years. Memories of this has resurfaced lately, and after watching Baby Reindeer with my wife (with the abuse confession scene in particular), I wanted to tell her so badly but lacked the nerve. So here I am.
When I was in 1st grade, so as a 6 years old boy, I got in trouble. The teacher called my parents in, a serious talk was had, and I was in deep shit. I don't remember what my punishment was, but I do remember why I got in trouble.
I had a friend named Tim the same age as me. Our classroom had bathrooms attached to the room. For some reason that I don't remember, I had convinced Tim to sneak off to the bathroom with me during class. I do not know how we evaded the teacher, but it became a regular thing. It was a fun way to sneak out of classwork and play.
At some point, we began to explore each others' bodies, including genitals. We attempted to insert our penises into each other's butt. I do not know why we decided to do this, but I always had the feeling that it was my idea.
We finally got caught. I distinctly remember trying to sneak to the bathroom cartoon style when the teacher spotted me. She must have put the pieces together later, because my parents got the call that afternoon and we all went to the school. Turns out that Tim had confessed upon being questioned and said that it was all my idea (which it very well may have been).
Tim and I were not allowed to be friends after that, and very strict rules about bathroom use were implemented.
I don't recall remembering what happened until I was a teenager, and ever since I've felt a crushing guilt. It also led to depression and a lot of negative feelings about sex, which made my teenage and early 20s years rough. I thought that I was a horrible person to have talked my friend into that, or maybe that I was gay (which I am not). Eventually, the thought occurred to me that I may have been abused and was trying to replicate that, but I have no memory of being abused.
I have wanted to ask my parents what they remember about that event, but I don't want to put them through reliving that. I've put them through enough since then.
I don't know what to feel. I just wanted to tell someone, and I don't have the courage to tell someone in person. Thank you and I'm sorry.

I’m a 28 year old female and I’m a late bloomer. I have never had a boyfriend before and I have never had sex. Hell, I haven’t had a proper first kiss yet. I spent most of my early adult years going to school, starting my career, moving to a new city and working on my mental health. I really was not in the right headspace to date or be in a relationship.
Once my mental health and self esteem improved, I decided that I was ready to put myself out there to meet friends and potential romantic partners. Therefore I didn’t start dating until I was 27. For the past year, I have met guys and formed friendships and have been going to social events in the city. I have been on a few dates here and there but I still I haven’t met a romantic partner yet. I have been really trying this year to put myself out there, go outside my comfort zone and meet people. I’m trying to be happy and confident in myself. I think I am a desirable and attractive person who has a lot to offer.
I am an emotional person and I have always thought of intimacy such as kissing, touching, sex etc as something I wanted to do with someone I trust and have some sort of connection with. I have been kissed by a few guys as I have been dating but it’s been without my consent and I didn’t reciprocate the kiss. So I don’t consider any of those my first kiss.
I do want to have sex but I am holding off on having sex until I form an emotional connection with someone rather than engaging in casual sex. Ideally I want to have sex within the context of a relationship. Casual sex does not appeal to me whatsoever. I don’t shame anyone for engaging in casual sex but the thought of a stranger touching my body in a sexual manner makes me uncomfortable. We don’t have to be in love but for me, I need to feel safe and be able to trust the person I’m with.
I am working with a sex therapist and a dating coach to help me as I navigate the dating scene and establish my boundaries.
I really want to experience all forms of intimacy but I still haven’t met someone where I felt completely comfortable and safe with them. I tend to be very hard on myself about my lack of experience. I am a successful person in other areas of my life: education, career, finances, home etc. But since I don’t have much experience with intimacy I tend to think I’m a loser. Im going to 29 in July and I feel like I’m running out of time. At a certain age, not having experience is a red flag right?

Just tried watching Black Sails because I've heard good things about it. But episode one is just full of nudity. Why do they have to do this BS?? I have to stick to like YA themed shows or network stuff because of the stupid sex scenes in everything else.
I wish there was a way I could easily skip those parts (since they really add nothing to the story).

People don’t mind gay people winning, as long as they don’t remind them of gay sex. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. So many have had zero exposure to erotic gay scenes whatsoever.
The amount of blatant and latent homophobic comments I’ve read on social media in the last week has been staggering. I can’t help but ask, what would those people say if he had been dancing with four half naked women instead?
The prudes would still say it’s unacceptable. But so many say “it’s too explicit” in order to sugarcoat their own internalised homophobia.
In any case, I take solace in the fact that the 🇬🇧 entry managed to make so many among the 160+ million viewers uncomfortable!

It seems like every book I find has at least one scene like that. Not really my cup of tea. Any suggestions, please?

I know this has been discussed several hundred times so I apologize or mentioning it yet again.
I selected the Animus choice which has me playing female Eivor from the beginning. I also know that I can swap to male any time I feel it is the preferred option. I had the first couple of romance options and one was a male after a wedding ceremony and seemed like the right choice to be playing as female Eivor. There have been other times when there is flirting with various individuals, both male and female.
As I play the game, a few things stand out. First, Eivor being female makes it seems strange that Sigurd didn’t marry her instead of Randvi. I know they are adopted siblings, so maybe that would have been seriously frowned upon. I also know Randvi was a political marriage meant to unite clans, but where I’m at in the game at least, Sigurd and Eivor seem to have a stronger connection.
Another thing I thought about, and this applies to all three games in this series, is that Layla is female and it would be very awkward for her if she was entering the mind of a male character. A few times in Sci-fi shows a person has done a gender swap with another person and the real fun parts happen when using normal bodily functions.
My head canon is that is why we don’t get to see the sex scenes, it would just be too awkward so Layla skips forward and resumes after they are done and dressed again.

I’ll frequently see this take as a response to sex scenes in movies or tv shows. “If I wanted to watch people having sex I’d watch porn”. I don’t have any proof to back up this view so I’m open to having it changed but it just seems unhealthy to compartmentalize it like that. First, movies and tv shows can’t really show anything graphic. Maybe breasts or even genitals but nothing compared to porn which explicitly shows penetrative sex. Being able to experience arousal from just the suggestion of sex or scenes that would be called “soft core” if they were just a porn scene seems healthier than always going to depictions of explicit sex in porn to get off. You may answer that they can just watch soft core scenes but if you look at porn statistics that sites like pornhub puts out, the vast vast majority of consumers are watching “hardcore” porn.
Second I think it adds to this taboo attitude surrounding sex. Like there’s something bad about it so it needs to quarantined.
Last movies and shows have many more examples of the characters they are depicting having sex, being much more fleshed out and human. In porn the actors are simply there for sex. But many times (not always) in movies and tv shows the characters you are watching having sex, that’s only a small part to their character, where you’re much more likely to see many facets of their life. At their job, how they interact with their friends and family or enemies. I believe this is healthier because it doesn’t associate those actors with the sole purpose of being sex objects, like I believe watching porn can do with its actors.
Edit: I'd like to add, I don't think porn is inherently unhealthy to view either. I think like all things moderation is key. This is about the attitude of wanting to experience arousal from media exclusively from porn.

Especially when you’ve never had sex (I haven’t), wouldn’t trying to imagine scenes to stimulate yourself remind you of pornography? I mean I guess if you understand the book well, being reminded of porn is nothing to worry about, but I feel for some people it might make them fall back into it if they start to liken imagination to porn and end up bringing the brainwshing back, “maybe porn wasn’t all that bad”, yada yada. Basically my question is, can imagination be completely separated from one’s experience with pornography or is it some kind of subsitute? Hope that makes sense I don’t know, this sounds silly but I am kind of wondering. I’m not really planning on continuing to masturbate after my final session but still would prefer to have a full understanding of the book obviously, wouldn’t want to get hooked again.
Thank you for reading this and sorry if I wasted your time with a question that probably is answered in the book ^'

im really new to anime, having only watched naruto completely a couple years ago along with some others i tried to watch, but there are just scenes that make me really uncomfortable.
I feel like a lot of anime have these really sexy girls with really huge proportionally questionable chests (their poor shoulders!) and scenes that oversexualize them doing the most normal thing ever and that icks me out a lot.
unless romance is IMPERATIVE for the plot, I don't really like it there because i just feel like it takes away the attention from the plot and I fear them becoming over sexualized.
I'm not sure if it's just me who feels this way and it's been concerningly overly normalized or many people feel like this, because as I said earlier, I'm really new. what do you guys think?
but now that I have my concerns out of my head I'm looking for an anime where the mc is op (strong to really strong, weak to op, etc) but without the things I've said above (romance, sex, harem, sexualization)
I'm not sure if my ideals are really unrealistic and there's essentially not a single anime out there that doesn't have these things, but thanks in advance!

In regards to dating and life. Cause everything seems crap to me now.
I going to sound concieted but guess its jut what was reality and im nothing special many guys like me but just stating my story to set scene and help my case now.
When i was young i was atheletic, musical, top grades and good looking. I didnt care for dating or sex much at all despite this but was popular and out a lot having fun. To sound even more concieted not that it matters as has caused pain to some girls but im well equipped to (so something offer some girls lol).
Due to my situation i wasnt going about cocky or anything but I had high standards as i held myself in certain view. But also at same time wasnt really dating as more studying and hanging with friends etc. And funnily not ever really into dating or thought about it as I think im somewhat autsitic anyway and being to close to people or with them long time annoys me.
Fast forward to now, my looks and college lifestyle got me by. lots of social opportunities, lots of friends etc.
Now im some place else completely im starting to look old, thinning hair, balding. I cant just go out and be my dumb funny happy 19 year old self as it just not really realistic. I barely have friends and if I do at my age they are different to many have families, or issues etc. They are not fun young party people anymore.
I still wouldnt say I was interested in dating either I moreso just miss being young and not need to worry about dating because my social life was great.
SO end of day life sucks now, I look like crap and social life sucks. Even if I go out I still got high standards and se myslef as this attractive young college guy but reality is there 100s out there like I was and I am not one of them now. Its just confusing. I dont even know what im asking and its not even dating advice I guess. But people asking why im single etc and the social life at my age prevents the kind of life you have when younger partying and meeting lots of people.
IF i meet someone my age they probably have a 10 year old child lol
Random chat but just kinda lost and any thoughts or advice. Just losing my looks and youth is hitting me hard as mentally im still in the same place. I guess If i were like others my ager looking to settle or have or had children it would not matter so much but im getting older and uglier every year but still thinking im a college boy lol

THE CONNERS: "Famine and Floods"
Scene 1: Conner Kitchen
Dan is sitting at the kitchen table.
Louise walks in.
Dan: Louise, me and the kids are hungry on account of there ain’t no food.
Louise: Look Dan, there’s a can of beans right here in the pantry.
Dan: Me and the kids don’t want beans on account of we had beans last night.
Louise: Well, why don’t you send one of your kids down to the grocery store to pick something up.
Mark walks in.
Mark: Didn’t you hear? The grocery store shut down because of poverty.
Dan slams his fist on the table.
Dan: Damn’t! Lanford needed that grocery store! It’s where we common folk got our food!
Darlene enters.
Darlene: This is the problem with corporate America. They come in and shut down all the local mom and pop stores and then run out of town at the first sign of trouble.
Jackie enters, Mark exits (not seen again the entire episode).
Jackie: She’s right. They call it FOOD DESERTS (said in a very long exaggerated voice). Yeah, pretty soon we’re gonna be slithering around like snakes trying to get water from a cactus.
Dan: This just ain’t right.
Louise: Well, rather than complaining, maybe we can do something. What if we all pitched in and started selling groceries at the hardware store?
Darlene: That’s a great idea. It’ll be like the old days when people bought their groceries at the hardware store.
Ben: And I know a guy with a grocery warehouse who’ll probably sell me groceries at half off.
Dan: That’s it! The Conners are in the grocery business and saving Lanford from starving.
Jackie: Well, some of us would probably starve a little sooner than others. I’m just saying. And we could always eat MOM if we had to!
(Theme song.)
Scene 2: Olinsky's Hardware Store
Ben is standing at the hardware store counter.
Darlene enters.
Darlene: I just got a call from the villainous county grocery commissioner. He says we can’t sell groceries because we don’t have a permit. If we try to sell them anyway, he’ll shut down the entire hardware store and then you won’t be able to support us on my lunch lady salary, I’ll have to quit for another job, and Mark won’t be able to go to college!
Ben: That totally blows.
Dan walks in from the back room.
Dan: Well, how much is this grocery permit?
Darlene: It’s $500!
Dan: $500! Oh geez, that’s the amount of money I've saved up to pay off the mortgage. But Lanford needs groceries, so...
Darlene: Dad, we can’t ask you to give up your dream of paying off the mortgage.
Harris enters.
Harris: I’ll do it. I’ll go to Chicago to turn tricks to earn the $500 so you all can sell groceries and Lanford doesn’t starve and Mom doesn’t have to quit her job and Mark can keep going to college.
Darlene: Harris, you don’t have to do this. But you’re sure you want to?
Harris: I mean, yeah, I guess so. I’m not worth anything to the family anyway. I guess this is the only thing I can do to be any value in the world.
Darlene: You are such a good daughter.
Scene 3: Conner Family Room
Jackie: Has anyone noticed Harris acting a little differently lately?
Darlene: No, what do you mean?
Jackie: I don’t know. She seems just kind of down, you know. Not like her normal self.
Darlene: We’re Conners. Something would be wrong if we weren’t a little down.
Jackie: No, I’m serious this is different. Watch.
Jackie hits a catatonic Harris over the head with a football and she doesn’t move.
Darlene: Maybe you’re right. I’ll take her down to the Urgent Care just to be safe.
Scene 4: Conner Family Room
Dan is on the edge of his seat as Darlene and Harris walk back in the house.
Dan: Well what did they say?
Darlene: Apparently the doctor says Harris is suffering post-traumatic stress disorder from her sex work in Chicago.
Dan: Is it serious?
Harris (with flat, matter of fact affect): The doctor says I’ll be OK. He gave me a referral to a person who will help me with coping strategies for the irrational thoughts I have while I’m selling my body.
Dan: Oh, thank God.
Scene 5: Conner Family Room
Ben enters.
Ben: Guys, I just heard on the radio. The first ever hurricane to hit Illinois is here NOW and it’s headed straight for Lanford.
Darlene: What are we going to do?
Louise: Dan, your kids need to grow up and learn how to face this hurricane on their own. I’m going to be on the road for the next three weeks, and I wanted to watch Yellowstone with you tonight.
Dan: Kids, Louise is right. It’s time you all faced this hurricane by yourselves.
Darlene: But that’s not fair! We’ve always faced things as a family.
Dan (winking): Well, I’m putting my foot down. You all have to weather the storm by yourselves.
Louise: Oh, alright Dan. They can weather the hurricane with us.
Becky enters.
Becky: Sober life is so amazing. Colors are vibrant, I hear birds chirping in the morning, and I’m present for Beverly Rose!
Darlene: That’s great. Did you hear, a hurricane’s about to hit Lanford? Also I accidentally threw out that notebook you keep with your list of coping mechanisms for being an alcoholic. You didn’t need it right?
Beck: Umm, no, everything is OK. I’ll be fine. I’m just going to head to the basement.
Scene 6: Conner Basement
The Conners all walk down to the basement.
Dan: Becky, where are you? The hurricane’s passed. It’s all OK.
They find Becky lying face down next to a bottle of Vodka. Beverly Rose is teetering on the edge of a bookshelf.
Jackie: Oh, my god, this is bad.
Darlene: Becky, Becky, wake up. What are you doing?
Becky: It was just all too much. The hurricane and then I didn’t have my notebook of coping mechanisms.
Dan huffs in anger.
Dan: Don’t you get it Becky! It was never about that book of coping mechanisms! Can’t you see what Mark has done to you! Can’t you see he’s sending us these hurricanes and shutting down the grocery store from the beyond? Whenever there’s a problem, can’t you see it’s Mark? What do I have to do to get through to you that Mark was Satan’s spawn and is cursing the town of Lanford from the pits of Hell?
Becky breaks down crying.
Jackie: She’s having a breakthrough. Her alcoholism is going into remission again.
Becky: I’m cured everybody.
Everyone hugs Becky.
Dan: To celebrate, let’s go down to the Hardware Store to pick up some groceries for dinner! Brewskis are on me; I can punt on paying off the mortgage until next month.
Jackie: I don’t know, I was thinking about eating MOM!
END CREDITS

This is my second post today. Earlier I made a post about how I thought I caught my partner slipping up, but really after getting trickle truthed for most of the day, he actually relapsed over a month ago and has been on and off since then.
The timeline is Dday was 12/6/24, his “clean date” from PMO was December 8th, and now apparently he was over 5 months clean as of May 8th.
So he hasn’t been watching porn, but for the past 5 weeks or so, when I’m not home he finds movies or TV shows with sex/racy scenes and watches those and masturbates.
Our sex life has still been almost nonexistent since December, but I thought he was flatlining and rewiring his brain.
We have spent THOUSANDS on his CSAT appointments and groups since December. Come to find out he didn’t even tell his CSAT about the relapse and just kept saying he was doing well. Lying to me is bad enough, but lying to his therapist we’re spending thousands we don’t even have on? I feel so hopeless. He has every resource at his disposal.
He’s distraught over the relapse and says he will get a sponsor and work the steps. How can I trust anything he says? We just had an amazing couple weeks together and I thought things were finally turning a corner and I was starting to feel safe and trust him again after 5 months of hell. And now that’s all reset? WTF.
Honestly his next monthly payment for the program he is in with his CSAT is due end of next week. I might just have him stop. We can’t afford it especially if he’s not even being honest. Is that unwise? I just don’t see the point in continuing right now when it’s getting us into deeper debt that he might not even be around to help me pay off if he hits rock bottom. He claims he will confess to his CSAT tomorrow.

For me it's Bobby and Janice. I'm bummed we got robbed of a good sex scene between those 2.

I start, revenge of the sith

Kingmaker: A Game of Thrones in Brevoy
System: Dungeons & Dragons 5e
Format: Discord Text pbp
No. of Players: 5
[Notice: This is a 18+ campaign. It contains NSFW and adult elements.]

The same message has appeared on bounty boards and in taverns across Brevoy.
HEROES WANTED!
Those able of body and brave of heart are invited to the mansion of Lady Jamandi Aldori, Swordlord & Chief Defender of Restov, to embark on an expedition into the Stolen Lands.
Bandits and monsters have been allowed to infest our southern borders for far too long. Those selected will be divided into groups and given a charter to reopen old trade routes and secure the surrounding territory. The brave-hearted mercenaries and adventurers who choose to take on this quest will face unimaginable danger, but whomever succeeds shall receive honor, glory, and a noble title granting dominion over the lands they've claimed to pass on their children.

For generations, the Stolen Lands have spanned the southern border of Brevoy. Many attempts have been made to settle them, but to date, none have succeeded, making these 35,000 square miles of wilderness the largest swath of unclaimed land in the entire region. As tensions mount in Brevoy, one ambitious swordlord hopes to change that fact.
Lady Jamandi Aldori is issuing charters to several groups of adventurers, sending them south into the Stolen Lands to reopen old trade routes and defeat the bandits and monsters who have made them too dangerous to use. By sending free agents south, this swordlord of Rostland hopes to alter the political balance of power in Brevoy without sacrificing her own position or forces. Yet, as with most complex and brilliant plans, the future holds plenty of opportunities for disaster.

"When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground."

Hello! I'm a longtime DM and a huge fan of A Song of Ice & Fire. I'm looking to run a campaign that's heavily influenced by the series I hold so dear. If you're a casual fan who's only seen Game of Thrones or House or the Dragon, you're more than welcome! The main things I'm looking for here are quality roleplay and enthusiasm. If you've got that, I promise we can have a good game together.

"Winter is coming."

Kingmaker is an Adventure Path originally designed by Paizo for the Pathfinder RPG but has been converted to be compatible with the 5th edition D&D ruleset. I'm taking so serious liberties with it but the bones of the adventure remain the same. Kingmaker is a high fantasy campaign that thrusts the player characters into a unique situation of building their own kingdom and carving out their own niche upon the world. You may be a scion of a lesser branch of the great families with ambitions that can't be hindered by your place in the succession. You could be a commoner whose witnessed your humble community suffer at the hands of the lawless bandits pillaging the countryside and will take on this great challenge so your family can live free. Perhaps you are a bastard child of a powerful figure and now seek to carve out your own kingdom knowing that you stand to inherit nothing you don't build for yourself.

"When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives."

I've got a couple of expectations for the characters that will be brought into the adventure. I am looking for characters with reasons to have a desire to venture into hostile territory and work as a team to build a kingdom. Good or evil doesn't matter but chaos doesn't serve to further the group. So, no chaotic alignment will be allowed. This is not the campaign for chaotic evil players looking to betray the other players, loners or free-spirited vagabonds.

"Backstabbing doesn't prepare you for a fight, and that's all the realm is now. Backstabbing and scheming and arse-licking and money-grubbing."

Political intrigue is a pillar of the series inspiring this and a big part of my plans, but in order to keep charisma from being everyone's primary stat I will be using a reputation system to even the playing field when dealing with individuals of consequence. In certain circles, a knight renowned for their honor and bravery is going to be as respected and influential, if not more, as a traditional face will be anywhere else. I think this will do a lot to allow the party to have a proper balance of classes with no one feeling handicapped in the social aspects.

"Let me give you some counsel, bastard. Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."

You may have noticed the tag, and the catch is: This is an adult only game, featuring erotic roleplay where characters can engage in sexual activities with no fade-to-black, etc. Lewd events, plans, consequences, and more are all on the table in this campaign. If you've watched either of the shows on HBO, this probably isn't much of a surprise to you. I'd like to be clear that just because it's on the table, this game will not become a raunchy, never ending orgy. There is usually meaning behind how sex is used in the series and that's what I'm looking to emulate.

"Distrusting me was the wisest thing you've done since you climbed off your horse."

GRRM often uses the intimate scenes to peel back layers to a character. Sometimes to paint them in a different light, other times to drive them further into the role he wishes to present them to the reader in. Some examples would be Tyrion's lingering trauma and emotional vulnerability, driving him to purchase the closest thing he believes he can have to real love being a way to earn Tyrion the reader's sympathy. Contrast that with Cersei's narcissism making her seek lovers, she can view as idealized male versions of herself, the only match worthy in her deranged mind. Or how Littlefinger justifies his pitiless ambition, being something forced on him by a cruel and unfair world that's kept him and his one true love apart by no fault of their own.

"Love is the death of duty."

PCs are encouraged to find and nurture romantic relationships with other characters or NPCs. Weddings are considered the truest way of sealing alliances, after all. Beyond the love lives of the characters, there are many other scenarios. A corrupt noble might be willing to trade information to carry on an affair on their spouse. A sex scandal could undermine the legitimacy of a claimant in a contested succession. Barbarian raiders may attack a village under your protection and take the women as slaves. Spies might attempt to seduce you in order to secure a position in your court and feed information to a rival house. A neighboring tyrant might earn your ire when reports of him abusing his authority to take advantage of an unfortunate captive or innocent reaches you.

"The things I do for love."

Because I'm sure it needs to be said. ERP will not be my main focus while running this; it may or may not even happen on my end. I'll already be responsible for the story, so trying to match everyone's taste in smut on top of that might be biting off more than I can chew. That being said, I'm all for your characters sharing a tent during the long weeks of adventuring because I think a good amount of sexual tension adds player investment and fun to the story. While I'm not promising anything, I'm not firmly ruling things out on my end either. You all could charm your way into a few NPC's pants to loosen a secret from their lips or secure a favor down the road. You might decide to blow your coins on prostitutes while visiting the capital. If the scene serves the story (or I'm just feeling horny that day), I may indulge you! Just wanted to make sure you're aware that just because I am open to ERP does not mean I'm making a commitment to provide it to everyone, expecting all players to take part in it, or putting it ahead of the actual campaign in any capacity.

"There are no other men like me. Only me."

If it's not apparent by now, I'm very serious about making this game something great. I love the ASOIAF books; I love the adventure path; I love the cRPG, and I desperately want to do justice by all three influences. Expect a bit of gritty realism and tragedy in this story. Your triumphs will be hard fought. Your holdings will face constant peril. Your enemies will always be lurking with their knives out for the moment you drop your guard. However, the rewards for your success in this campaign are unlike any other. I truly don't think there is another adventure that matches the sense of accomplishment that comes from taking a stretch of hostile wilderness and carving your own thriving kingdom from it.

"Power resides where men believe it resides. No more and no less."

A little bit on my approach to DMing this. I plan on running this very differently from traditional D&D 5e. Combat is obviously what the system does the most of, but if you've ever watched GoT or HotD you'd see the main characters don't draw their swords all that often. In fact, a lot of the main cast never have their own fight scenes. I like this less is more approach a great deal and think it'll bring a lot to the pbp experience. Outside of encounters with a named enemy, I won't be using initiative. This is so the RP isn't held up by any individual's schedule. I'll also be utilizing the minion rule from 4e where all the monsters have 1 HP. Their AC remains the same, so if you have trouble hitting them, the danger remains but low damage rolls won't cause encounters to drag unnecessarily.

"Hard truths cut both ways."

Matching the tone of the books this campaign is inspired by will take collaboration. I want the heroes of this story to have lives that involve more than their swords and spells. If you’re just looking to roleplay a non-stop fantasy porno, this isn't the game for you. But if you are interested in writing a character who is enriched by getting to explore their desires, be influenced by lusts, make compromises out of attraction, and maybe even experience heartbreak if their trust and affection wound up in the wrong hands-- then you're exactly who I'm looking for!

"If I do not press my claim, my claim will be forgotten. I will not become a page in someone else's history book."

If you can't be bothered to respond to the RP for days at a time, I'm going to kick you out! Plain and simple. I won't be reaching out. I won't be constantly giving you reminders. There will be no stoppages for you to get your shit together. It's a big world, and I'm not going to hesitate to find someone else interested in actively participating in the adventure if you go ghost. I understand that IRL always comes first, so if you have the common courtesy to reach out and explain your circumstances that prevent you from putting together a couple paragraphs every day, then I will still be replacing you, but I will move your character out of the story for you to pick up later on when you can. If you can't manage to let me know what's going on, then I'm just going to forget about you and move right along so everyone else can continue the fun!

"I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards and broken things."

My plan to be pretty rules-light with this campaign since while I run a lot of D&D, I haven't run that many text games. I'm still confident I can handle it, but I'm just throwing it out there in case there are bumps along the road. If you're more experienced in the pbp arena than I am, I'd greatly appreciate your advice as things are coming together. We will be using dndbeyond and the standard discord bots. In my experience, these games work a lot better when the story is put above mechanics, so keeping things to PHB races and PHB/XgtE subclasses. If you're looking to do some awesome game-breaker build you've theory crafted for months. This may not be the game for it. I don't plan on meticulously tracking things to make sure you get your sentinel feat trigger each turn.

“Oh, my sweet summer child, what do you know about fear?”

Alright! That's my pitch. Sorry you had to read all that, but hopefully you're still interested and can see I don't have a problem handing out paragraphs, so this game ought to be in good hands. I look forward to reading your applications and will be leaving the form open for the next week while I work on the discord server.

“The night is dark and full of terrors.”

So that was a lot, but any of you who are still interested please don't hesitate! I'll be happy to have you and look forward to playing with you. As well as hopefully some fun debates about who we're rooting for in HotD season 2 as it airs.

“There is only one god, and His name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: 'not today'.”

The application link is down below! I'm going to leave it open for a week so folks don't miss out. I will be checking it regularly, so if I find a bunch of folks I like over the first couple days, I'll reach out to them, but I'm sure we all know how these sorts of games go. People may drop out or prove unreachable, so even if you're not someone who hears back from me immediately, we might be writing together soon!
The Stolen Lands await you!
https://forms.gle/bnmHsUt2Qmq5D1jK8

This is party 2 of a discussion regarding how poly could have been handled a little better in BG3. I recommend you read through the first part here: https://new.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/1crb2s7/how_the_polyamory_could_have_been_handled/ so you can get context and I sound like less of a rambling weirdo.
​
Astarion:
Out of all the discussions, people were the most confused by this choice. Not only does making him poly at the last minute feel contrary to a lot of statements he himself makes throughout his romance arc, but it also runs counter to what other characters say about him and his backstory as a whole. He is one of the most insecure characters in the game, he was trained for two hundred years to lie in order to avoid punishment, and he has far more trauma and healing to do than the other characters. Astarion is the most likely to lie about the Halsin relationship in order to avoid appearing weak or demanding. Out of the poly players who expressed disappointment, Astarion was the one that bothered them the most, since many felt he wasn’t fully consenting.
Most of my reasons for why he’s not a good poly option (from a development standpoint) have already been stated in earlier sections, so most of this will be spent diving into the “Is he fine with poly or not?” debate, which had me intrigued. (This will be the longest section and won’t be as connected to the overall topic, so if you want to skip to the Halsin part, feel free.)
I’ll start with the main arguments I see defending him being poly.
Argument 1: He says he’s fine with Halsin and the twins, so we should take him at his word.
While this can definitely be argued, and it’s not good to treat an adult man like a baby, his constant lying as a defense mechanism and current issues with sex/relationships do need to be taken into account (if not by the players then at least by the developers). There were plenty of people (some of them victims of SA) who talked about their own experience of tolerating poly because they were scared of their partner leaving or finding them too demanding/narrow minded. This led to their self-esteem and views on relationships growing worse rather than better. For someone like Astarion, who outright admits he has never had a healthy relationship and doesn’t want to lose this one, it’s understandable that people view his response as a coping mechanism rather than his own genuine feelings. There were also two different mental health professionals who reminded players that although a few victims of abuse do enter poly relationships, statistically most do not and it is far more common for them to agree to poly relationships out of pressure (which often make the person’s mental issues even worse in the long run).
Argument 2: He claims to be fine with open relationships during Act 1.
This is countered by the fact that everything he says about himself in Act 1 is a lie (unless he’s specifically talking about Cazador). He lies about wanting to sleep with you, he lies about his identity until he bites you, he claims to only care about sex (then later admits it makes him feel disgust and loathing), and he brags about his former conquests (which you later find out he regrets and feels guilt over). His statements that he’s fine with open relationships are made when choosing between him and another Origin character in Act 1 or 2, but this is also said at a time when his act is still up and he isn’t in love with the player. If you choose between him and another Origin character AFTER he confesses and let’s his guard down, he insists that he is NOT fine with sharing. “You’ve decided to replace me?” If the player says they care about both him and the other person, he’ll say, “Don’t give me that. I can see what this is.” Then he promptly breaks up with them. This second reaction is not only said using his genuine voice (whereas before he was still using his fake one), but a few poly people mentioned that this isn’t a normal reaction from someone who is fine with poly.
This isn’t to shame people who want to think Astarion is fine with it, or to judge players who went through with the poly relationship. Instead, this is once again asking the developers why they chose this option, rather than someone who wouldn’t spark so much debate or remind abuse victims of their past without giving them a dialogue option to address it. (This is a similar issue with Astarion’s brothel scene. They should have either removed it by having him say he’s not comfortable again, or at the very least, let players talk to him about it after.)
I think it’s pretty clear that after reading the discussions and evidence both sides provided, I myself lean heavily to one side. However, the main defense I personally have for the opposite side is that the writers were sometimes vague about Astarion’s true preferences and wishes. I especially felt this during the origin playthrough, where his narrator would constantly flip between him liking hedonism and despising it. It gave the impression that two opposing authors were wrestling while writing him, unable to decide where he truly stood on things. It felt similar to how the devs tried to write a respectful story of overcoming abuse and the fear of being sexualized, only to turn around and repeatedly sexualize the character in both the game and promotional material. I really wish the writers and developers had picked a lane and stuck with it.
Now I’ll get into the evidence for the counter theory: That he’s not actually open to sharing, but says he’s fine with it to avoid appearing weak or losing his partner. I personally prefer this theory because it makes the writing seem more intentional, adds more nuance to an already complex character, and feels more realistic. However, even if this is what the writer or actor were trying to convey, it’s still a far worse alternative to simply keeping him out of the poly options in the first place.

1. His hedonistic playboy persona is stated to be a façade. Anything he says in act one about being poly and wanting open relationships is stated when he is both wearing his mask and before he trusts the player. Every statement about relationships here has to be taken with a grain of salt because his mask is centered around attracting victims for Cazador. Since he hated bringing “sweet innocents” to his master, it makes sense that he would initially try to attract the opposite (“criminals and brothel goers”) by sleeping around and making a show of wanting casual relationships.
   
2. Once he gets comfortable in the relationship, he makes it clear he is looking for someone who will make him feel safe and value him for his personality over his body (“I don’t want you to think of me in terms of sex. I don’t think I want anyone to.” “How do you want me to see you?” “As a person. Is that so much to ask?”). If the player chooses to sexualize him, he will go through with it, then regret it later and break up. He makes it very clear in Act two that he’s not actually looking for casual hookups because they make him feel “ashamed and alone”. So it is odd that he’s fine with Halsin (who seems to care more about the sex and the body than the emotional bonding) and the brothel (which is solely about sex). One can argue that he’s fine with the poly relationship because he’s not taking part, but Halsin DOES wish for him to take part ‘eventually’.
   
3. Jumping off of that, Astarion’s dialogue makes it clear he wants a partner who cares about more than just sex, but if you tell him you want to date Halsin solely for the sex (and because Astarion’s not doing it with you), he will say that’s fine and he doesn’t mind the player seeking sex from others. This seems to counter his previous statements and arc. It’s especially strange that even if you reinforce his greatest insecurity (that his refusal to have sex has made his partner immediately seek out other people), he will still claim to be fine with it.
   
4. In terms of dialogue, the actor for Astarion seems to be very intentional when using the fake theatrical masking voice vs. the more genuine softspoken voice he uses when he’s comfortable and being honest. The fake voice is blatantly obvious throughout the Act 1 romance, in Act 2 if you force him to obey the blood merchant (his voice goes from genuinely scared to flirtatious and over the top within seconds), and in Cazador’s mansion where he’ll speak genuinely to you, then be over the top when addressing Cazador’s servants. He’ll often use jokes and loud laughter to conceal his true feelings and insecurities. Meanwhile his laughter in the confession scene, graveyard scene, and Spawn epilogue is quiet and subdued because he’s being genuine. It feels like a strange coincidence that when addressing both the Halsin situation and the brothel situation, his voice becomes very loud and high pitched again, he immediately starts making jokes, and his laughter is over the top. This hints at him not wanting to go along with either situation, but he’s putting himself through it because this is what his partner wants and since he’s tolerated sexual stuff he hated before, he can do it again. Plus, after killing Cazador, he wants to ensure no one views him as weak. He has to prove to himself and his lover (at least in his mind) that refusing to take the Ascendant powers was good and he’s strong enough to not need it. I can understand players not picking up on the voice changes (because not everyone is going to replay the game or even care) but those who did notice it believe it’s done intentionally (either by the actor or the writer or both). If it’s not intentional, then it’s a strange decision to make from a developer’s standpoint.
   
5. Throughout the threads I read, most poly people made it clear that poly relationships require complete trust, clear communication, and general confidence. Astarion himself admits to lacking all of those traits to some degree. If you don’t romance him, he will literally not trust any of the characters right up to the epilogue (he’ll hold a knife behind his back while talking to the Dark Urge). Even though he does seem to genuinely trust his lover by Act 2, he will still lie to them several times. He lies about being fine with the drow twins (he states he’ll leave if he hates if but never does despite disassociating), feigns confidence when the player says they’ll become a mind flayer (he says he only cares about them becoming ugly but expresses his true fears only after the fight, that he’s worried they are no longer the person he fell in love with by losing their soul), he manipulates his lover when confronting Cazador despite being conflicted about it himself and wanting reassurance, and (on a more minor note) he continuously claims he’s doesn’t care about Yenna or the Gur children despite getting upset when they’re in danger. This is a character who, even after he kills his tormentor, struggles to be honest with his partner. That isn’t a good combination when addressing poly. (Again, it could be worked through in real life, but is better avoided in video games where there isn’t time to address it).
   
6. There are also plenty of situations where he agrees to do things he outright hates. In Act 1, we know he is (at least somewhat) disgusted by having sex with the player or Laezel, but he’ll do it. In Act 2, he tries to be genuine about not wanting to touch the player until he no longer feels disgust, but if the player pressures him, he will cave and obey. He does break up with the player afterwards, but it is only after he has gone through with the act. In Act 3, he will state three times that he doesn’t want to take the tadpole, but if the player pressures him by bringing up his darkest fear, he will give in. Worse, he will give in and STILL stay with the player romantically despite them clearly manipulating him to do something they know he fears. He does thankfully break up if you fail the checks, but if you succeed, he goes through with it. If he’s willing to cave to something as huge as altering his entire body, it makes sense that he would cave to something he views as more minor (like tolerating unwanted sexual acts in a brothel or sharing his partner).
   
7. I didn’t know this until I saw others mention it but there are points where he will flirt with NPCs if he is single (the girl in the sewers), but he uses neutral dialogue if he is dating the player. This reinforces the theory that he doesn’t actually plan to sleep around or be with others as he claims (though there are some dialogues that I think slipped through the cracks where he still flirts with others despite being in a committed relationship).
   
8. If Halsin propositions you after Cazador has been killed, Astarion no longer asks if you’re doing this because he hasn’t been fulfilling your sexual needs. However, he does give another response that feels out of place: “I’ve realized it doesn’t matter if anything (in our relationship) changes.” Parallel this with what he said at the graveyard, that “no matter what happens, I don’t want to lose this (relationship).” It’s very odd to have him say he doesn’t want to lose the relationship, but then the next day he is totally okay with losing it. Granted, it is nice to know that even if the characters break up, he’ll be fine, but it does feel contradictory for his character, especially with how devastated he acts if they DO end the relationship. If the Halsin statement is just an act and he’s overcompensating, however, then it feels more intentional on the writer’s part.
   
9. I’ve seen lots of people say that Ascended Astarion also shouldn’t be fine with poly, and I agree, though it’s for different reasons than Spawn Astarion. Unlike SA, I think Ascended would absolutely do the brothel scene because 1. He’s actively suppressing his trauma and playing a new character and 2. He feels in control in the brothel and is the focus. However, with Halsin, he doesn’t have any control. For someone obsessed with possessing his lover and ensuring they can never leave him, letting them sleep with Halsin doesn’t fit his writing. He isn’t participating. He doesn’t know what they’re doing behind his back. For all he knows, Halsin and the player might be discussing how to kill Astarion or escape him. In some deleted party banter, Halsin literally tells Ascended Astarion he doesn’t approve of the abusive spawn/master relationship they’ve formed. With that knowledge, not only should Halsin not be willing to join a poly relationship that he thinks is unhealthy, but he has a motivation to help the player get away from AA (and AA would know this). I could see Spawn Astarion hesitantly agreeing to the Halsin thing despite not wanting to share, but AA just wouldn’t. It feels contrary to both his and Halsin’s writing.
   
10. This is the second most convincing piece of evidence for me: The Drow twins. If you ask Astarion to join a ‘group activity’, he’ll use his fake voice and flighty laugh and agree to go through it, saying he’ll run away if he doesn’t like it and comparing the act to burning in the sun (a little concerning that he’s already comparing the two). Then during the act, he will immediately ask the player what they want “us” to do. Not only is he lumping himself in with the prostitutes, but he is also doing something that an Origin playthrough reveals is a trigger for him (he tells the drow twins that being ‘told what to do’ reminds him of his time as a slave). If the player tries to check up on him, he ignores them and says he wishes he was drunk. Then he disassociates and never brings it up again. This has been viewed two ways: either he doesn’t want to have casual sex anymore and wants to be in a one-on-one relationship, or he does want to do stuff like this but just needs to heal more before he can. I lean toward the first assumption because he is acting flighty and fake BEFORE the sexual act even begins. If he really wanted to do it but changed his mind after, it makes more sense for him to sound genuine at first, then fake halfway through.
    

But the main thing that sticks out to me is his reaction to you asking for only ONE drow twin. If you do, he will accuse you of having a thing for prostitutes and call it embarrassing, then glare at you for the rest of the conversation. This is especially sad because not only have the player’s actions made him feel like a prostitute again, but now he seems to be wondering if you started dating him BECAUSE he was a prostitute, not for who he really is.
Compare this to the Halsin situation and the drow ‘group activity’. For Halsin, he says he was expecting this for months. He’s had several months to plan his reaction and decide what he’s willing to tolerate. Hence, he has a very rehearsed reaction. With the twins, he had less time to anticipate this but probably also worried about it (especially if the player asked about them earlier and he said no. Now he expects the player to try again and has planned accordingly). Again, this response feels rehearsed and fake. The only response where he uses his real voice is when you ask for one of the twins alone. This is something he likely wouldn’t plan for, so we get to see his gut reaction for the first time: he doesn’t want you to do it.
Now some people argue that he’s fine with Halsin and not the other Origin characters because Halsin is just a fling and won’t try to take his spot. If that’s the case, he should be fine with the twins too. If anything, they are even less of a threat. Yet he doesn’t want you to do it and responds accordingly. If he truly was poly, he would respond like Karlach did and tell you to have fun, or like Shadowheart telling you to give him a heads up first. But we don’t see that.
One other thing about the twins that I felt I could point out: if you or the twins ask to do a group activity before Cazador is killed, Astarion says he’s not comfortable with this yet. The “yet” part has been pointed out to show that he’s fine with it after Cazador has been killed (even though he still disassociates later). However, another explanation of the “yet” part is that he’s trying to soften the blow because he’s scared of using a blunt NO. We see this with Araj, the blood merchant. Even though he is absolutely disgusted with her treatment of him and how she’s “defiling” him with her fantasies, his rejections of her are very soft and nervous. Even when reinforced by his friend/lover, he says “It’s still a no, I’m afraid” with a smile. Turning down sexual encounters is tough for him, even when he has people backing him up, so I can see him using words like “yet” or “I’m afraid” to soften the blow. I know several people in real life who do this, despite later admitting there was no “yet”.
There’s another part of this dialogue with the early twins that I want to point out (really overanalyzing here but if we want to believe the writers do things intentionally/with a lot of forethought, I think it’s okay to read into the words they use). When Astarion says he’s not comfortable with the twins, the player’s response is “I wouldn’t ask such a thing of you”. This will raise his approval and make him respond positively. The promise you give him is not “I’ll ask them later, after we’ve killed Cazador” or “I would have liked to but okay” (that one doesn’t trigger his positive response). He only approves of you saying you won’t ask him to do things like this (stated in a tense that implies you will NEVER ask him to do such a thing, regardless of Cazador’s stabbed or unstabbed state). This could have been the writer hinting that if you bring him back after, you’re going back on your promise and thus have to see the disassociating scene. That…or the writer wasn’t thinking too hard and we are simply thinking too much.

1. With all that out of the way, we’ll get to the final point that solidifies this theory for me personally. It’s the statements of Shadowheart and Minthara if you ask to do a three-way relationship with one of them and Astarion. Shadowheart’s response is: “I think you’re overestimating his willingness to share. He may seem like a carefree hedonist, but there’s something fragile beneath the façade.” Minthara says something nearly identical, that sharing would wound his pride and he is far too fragile to handle it. You could even add Astarion’s line from the other end, where if you ask Astarion to share with you and Karlach, he will say they shouldn’t because Karlach loves the player and relationships are fragile (implying that he either thinks open relationships don’t work if there’s love involved, or perhaps he himself can only do open relationships if he doesn’t love the other person).

The main argument I’ve seen disproving these statements by Shadowheart and Minthara is that they’re just plain wrong about him. If so, it’s a strange writing choice to not only have both of them be wrong about the exact same thing, but they’re both high wisdom characters who are proven to understand Astarion in a lot of ways other characters don’t. (All three of them have been enslaved and manipulated, Minthara comprehends the depths of his relationship with Cazador within minutes of being in the camp, and Shadowheart is one of the closest to Astarion in terms of friendship and liking him.)
If Astarion actually is fine with poly, then it means both Shadowheart and Minthara are wrong. That means the writers either made a mistake or made a very weird writing choice.
However, if Astarion is actually pretending to be fine with sharing as they say, not only is the writing consistent but these dialogues become very clever foreshadowing. I want to give the writers the benefit of the doubt and believe they did a good job with Astarion, so I prefer to lean into the theory that he’s pretending because it makes more sense for him overall.
That was quite a long tangent and somewhat unnecessary, but he’s a character whose mannerisms and statements are meant to be heavily analyzed, so it’s fun to go more in depth. Let’s move on.

1. ISSUES WITH HOW HALSIN WAS PRESENTED

We’re finally at the last point, and in a way the direct cause of this entire thread: Halsin. Now, I have no issue with Halsin being poly (again, he’s listed as one of my four ideal options for it) but I do have several issues with how he was written and presented. The Shadowheart part I will skip over because I already got into it, but there are many other problems to address and most of them could have been fixed very easily.

1. He is not presented as poly until Act 3. I was reading through a thread full of people who loved him and several of them were early access players who had requested he become a romance option. However, the reason they requested him was very important. In EA, all three of the male options seemed immature (Wyll), condescending (Gale), or straight up evil (Astarion). Meanwhile Halsin was, in their words, a mature man who seems like the type to settle down with them in a cottage and help raise their kids. This is the impression he gives and what drew many people to him. As a result, many of these players were extremely disappointed to reach Act 3 once the game was out and discover that not only was he the complete opposite of their initial impression, but he won’t even stay with the player after the game ends (in most cases). Honestly, if I was a developer and saw that they liked him for those earlier reasons, I wouldn’t make him strictly poly because that wasn’t what the players wanted. They wanted him because he was muscular and a good, stable man. It was a very odd choice to turn around and give the players the opposite of what they asked for. But if the devs were truly determined to go the poly route, they should have at least gone back to Act 1 and 2 and slipped in some hints that he was poly. I saw some newer players who recently played the game for the first time and wanted to romance him for the aforementioned reasons (stable, mature, kind, huge). They ignored all other romances until Act 3, then got hit with the “I’m only poly” discussion. Had they known he wasn’t monogamous, they wouldn’t have blown off all the other options.
   
2. But let’s ignore that. We’re focusing on the world where he IS completely poly (though some were arguing that it should at least be an option to ask if he’ll try being monogamous with the player.) The way he is presented still has a lot of issues according to poly players. For one, the way he tries to butt in on the relationship is done in a really sketchy manner (especially considering what some of the Origin characters have gone through/are currently going through). It would have been far better to do what they did with Minsc and give the PLAYER the option to hit on Halsin, rather than the other way around. Have them offer poly to him, and then he can discuss it from there. Having the proposition come from Halsin himself puts him in a negative light, and it’s pretty clear the writers didn’t actually want to portray him as a bad person so they messed up here.
   
3. The flagging for Halsin’s dialogues is awful and despite seeing people report it for eight months, that hasn’t changed. Even if you pick the most neutral option, he will still hit on you by saying “I think you feel the same way”. Not a good idea. “I HOPE you feel the same way” would have been infinitely better. Women often have to deal with people assuming their friendly, professional conversation is something more when it isn’t. It’s not a great idea to bring that into fantasy games too. It hit too close to home for some.
   
4. Even if you use the most neutral option at the Act 1 party (“Go have fun and mingle”), your main dialogue option the next day is “Sorry for coming on so strong last night”. It’s a strange thing to say. Again, I’m not sure how developers missed this and why it was never patched out. I saw people reporting it since the release.
   
5. He will also ask for a relationship at neutral approval. In most of my playthroughs, I stopped talking to him beyond the Thaniel quest and avoided asking about his personal life. He still led his proposition with “I think you feel the same way”. How does he know when we only spoke to him three times? They should have at least required you to go through all his extra dialogues before triggering this.
   
6. When Halsin says he loves you, you have two options: reject him straight away, or ask about his opinions a little more. Oddly enough, if you ask a bit more and THEN reject him, he’ll have a proper response. “That’s fine. I understand. I won’t ask again.” However, if you reject him as soon as he starts talking to you, his response is very off putting. He’ll protest and say, “but you asked me about my former lovers” or, if you didn’t even do that, he’ll claim “you looked after me with the care of a lover, not a host.” These pushy assumptions turned a lot of people off. This is entirely on the writer, in my opinion. He should have realized how weird these sounded.
   
7. Halsin is the only person you can’t dismiss from your camp at any point through dialogue. All of the origins have to be pursued and recruited intentionally. Halsin is the only exception. This makes some sense because you need him to cure the Shadowlands, but for Act 3, he literally has nothing to do. They should have given players an option after the Ketheric fight to dismiss him and tell him to take care of the Shadowlands. It makes a lot more sense narratively and would help avoid a lot of the more awkward parts later.
   
8. Halsin’s initial dialogue about monogamy vs. polyamory is mostly fine, with him comparing it to gardens and wolves vs. bears. But (and don’t quote me on this because I can’t recall the specifics), if you ask your partner to do poly and they say no, Halsin will be a little more judgmental about your partner, saying he was hoping they would be more “open minded”. Statistically, the majority of BG3’s players are going to be monogamous, so it’s strange to see nearly every character (monogamous or poly) criticize monogamy in some way. It is called selfish, narrow minded, and old fashioned by at least 3 characters to my knowledge (Halsin, Act 1 Astarion, and even Gale (who is monogamous himself)). If the developers truly wanted to be inclusive, criticizing one’s lifestyle and having no characters openly defend it in the game (even those who practice it) is a disappointing choice. In this case, it might be an unintentional mistake (maybe they feared that by defending monogamy, they were somehow demonizing polygamy or polyamory), but it would have been better to just leave the criticisms out of it entirely if that was the case.
   

And that’s it. I think that’s all the points from myself and others that I wanted to compile. I don’t think any of this will be changed in BG3 but I hope all of these points and opinions will at least improve any future games. It’s great that BG3 was able to make nuanced characters with their own opinions and preferences—I much prefer it to “everyone is poly and no one gets mad if you cheat” games where characters feel more like statues than living beings—but I do wish they thought the poly options through more carefully (trying to make poly people comfortable while leaving room for monogamous players to enjoy the romances too).
The only feasible fix the developers could make at this point to avoid all the issues mentioned is keeping Halsin poly but removing his connections to other Origin romances (or at least Karlach and Astarion). At this point, that’s the only thing that could realistically be done. I also wish they made characters break up with you if you cheat on them in the brothel, since that’s what many people including myself would do.
Again, these opinions are my own (and those that aren’t come from a variety of comments across Youtube, Reddit, and Larian’s forums). I enjoyed getting to see so many different viewpoints and appreciated how civil (most of) the people on both sides were. It’s an interesting topic and here’s hoping game studios handle it better in the future.
If anyone reads this far and wants links to the threads, forums, and youtube comment sections, let me know.

[Obvious spoilers for character romances, relationships, and a few character arcs. I don't recommend reading this post unless you've beaten the game.]
I’ll start off with the most obvious disclaimer: this post is not here to critique polyamory itself or its inclusion in the game. I’m all for adding the option to games (and BG3 as well) as long as it’s done respectfully and in a way that can make both monogamous and polyamorous players comfortable. This post will discuss what the game could have done better, why the characters they chose to make poly were poorly thought out, and what characters should have (hypothetically) been chosen instead. (The suggestions of who SHOULD have been chosen would give poly players MORE options, rather than less, while also maintaining character consistency and helping mono people feel comfortable too).
These suggestions are, of course, my own opinion coupled with a lot of threads I read all over the internet from three groups: monogamous players, poly players who liked what BG3 did, and poly players who felt it was handled poorly/felt uncomfortable with it. I myself didn’t care to go through the poly routes in the game but after I read some youtube comments on the Halsin topic, I got fully invested in the discussion and dove through youtube, reddit, and Larian threads to hear everyone’s opinions. As a monogamous person myself, it was interesting to hear thoughts from the poly players about what they felt uncomfortable with and how things should have been written instead. As a result, this thread is less my own thoughts and more a compilation of all the ideas/suggestions I saw people come up with.
The goal of this post is not to hate on the developers or people from either side of the debate, but to find a middle ground the developers could have used that would make both monogamous people and polyamorous people happy. The current game did appeal to some poly players, but it left a lot of other ones dissatisfied, and when half of your target audience is feeling skeptical about how you handled something, it’s good to take notice (and even though it’s too late for any changes to be made, it’s fun to talk about the hypotheticals and suggest what pitfalls could be avoided when developing future games).
This post will be formatted like so: (yes, I know it’s long but after having all the discussions and debates run through my head for a few days, it’s nice to get them all written down and out of my brain)

1. Important factors that should be considered when adding poly relationships to your game (in a way that makes at least the majority of your audience comfortable)
   
2. Which characters should have been chosen to be poly instead of the ones we got (and why)
   
3. Why the characters the developers chose to make poly weren’t ideal
   
4. Issues with how Halsin was presented
   

A few more points I want to emphasize before I start.

1. This post isn’t just focusing on the story and character motivations, but also on what makes the players feel at ease. You can’t make everyone happy, obviously, but there were a lot of mistakes BG3 made that could have been easily solved (with suggestions from both sides). I want to see games where both monogamous players and poly players can find the romance options they’re seeking without feeling ignored or pushed aside.
   
2. While it is easy to say, “It’s just a videogame. We shouldn’t worry about what the characters think because they’re fictional,” I say both yes and no. While the feelings of the characters shouldn’t be cared about (because they’re not real), the writers clearly wanted each character to have their own backstory, morals, opinions, and fears. I’d argue most of, if not all of the characters were written really well and in a realistic manner (as realistic as you can get with tadpoles in your brains and magical abilities). The writers WANTED us to take these characters seriously, as well as the portrayals of abuse that some of them represent, so it’s not surprising that lots of players analyze them. The fact that so many different people took the time to discuss the character romances and relationships is a testament to how well written the characters are. It’s okay to say the poly interactions felt ‘out of character’ and debate why.
   

​
Part 1. IMPORTANT FACTORS THAT NEED TO BE CONSIDERED WHEN ADDING POLY RELATIONSHIPS TO YOUR GAME (particularly when monogamous relationships are also part of the game). Most of these will be things other people have said, some of which I never even considered until they brought it up.
- Communication with the players
- Consent (particularly ‘enthusiastic consent’)
- Lying, pressure, and coercion
- Character backstories and potential trauma

1. Communication with the players

One of the biggest issues I had with BG3’s poly relationships is that the developers didn’t try to effectively communicate which options players had until Act 3 (when it’s too late to change your mind). A monogamous player could start a character romance, only to be disappointed in Act 3 when they find out the character is poly. Likewise, a poly player would assume someone is poly, then have that character change their mind halfway through. Now, in terms of narrative, this can be quite interesting, and in terms of real life, I’m sure this happens often. However, when you’re looking at it from a developer’s standpoint, it's not a good idea to do this. If you want to make players comfortable and satisfied with the romance options, you need to make it clear to them what they’re getting themselves into.
So, if you’ve written a poly character into your game, you need to let the players know. Once the topic of romance/sex is brought up, have that character confidently state their thoughts and expectations about it. This way mono players can go, “Oh, this type of relationship isn’t for me. I’ll try to romance someone else.” Meanwhile poly players can say, “This is what I’m looking for.” This way, neither party has to google which characters are or aren’t poly and risk spoiling important plot points for themselves. Likewise, if a character is monogamous, writers should do the same thing.
Two great poly examples are Act 1 Laezel and Dragon Age’s Zevran. As soon as the topic of relationships is brought up, they explain their stance on sex, relationships, expectations, and possible reasons for why they think the way they do. It’s done in a fairly natural manner and fits their character.
Of course, what makes this more difficult is a character like Astarion, whose entire personality is largely an act until he opens up in Act 2. This does make communication with the player harder, but an easy solution is: once he opens up about his true feelings, have him restate what he truly wants in a relationship. (Even that’s difficult for someone like him, who doesn’t know what he wants, but we’re looking at this from a hypothetical developer’s standpoint, not what we currently have.) Having him (subtly) express his expectations here leaves room for players to again say, “Oh, that’s not what I’m looking for. Let’s stay friends.” The devs should then leave some romance options open in Act 2 so players can reevaluate and choose someone else without getting locked out. (Again, this is obviously impossible to fix now. This should have been thought through in early development).
Consent (particularly enthusiastic consent)
One of the biggest issues I saw being brought up from poly players was the topic of consent, especially what they repeatedly prioritized: enthusiastic consent. The ideal response they’re looking for when talking to their partner is that their lover is wholly on board with the arrangement, comfortable expressing their true feelings, and doesn’t feel pressured to agree when they really don’t want to deep down. Out of the three BG3 poly options, only one of them (Shadowheart) had poly players feeling comfortable with her reaction to ‘opening up’ the relationship with Halsin (and even then, there were disagreements).
I can’t get too far into this discussion without bringing up my next point, so I’ll skip to it.
Lying, pressure, and coercion
This is the part that initially piqued my interest when reading that first youtube comment section. Many of the comments were poly people saying, “If my partner reacted to the Halsin arrangement the way Karlach and Astarion did, I would not go through with it.” Coupled with that were poly players saying, “I was hoping for enthusiastic consent and ethical poly. I was disappointed to find neither.” There were a lot of people disappointed with how the poly was written. One person even recommended it to their poly friends, then walked the recommendation back when they finished the game and felt the writers handled it carelessly.
Lots of people, both monogamous and poly, had their doubts about Karlach and Astarion’s reactions. Were they fully comfortable with the poly relationship or were they just saying what their lover wanted to hear? Were they scared of appearing weak and controlling so they pushed their own wishes down? Karlach literally says she’s not fine with it but will tolerate it because she loves you. Astarion’s true thoughts are more uncertain because he has a history of lying to make people happy and struggles with boundaries. I saw many people on the fence about both of them.
Now, in real life, there can obviously be nuance. You can spend hours discussing poly with your partner and checking in with them throughout the relationship to make sure they’re still on board. Some people may genuinely be fine with it but sound nervous at first. Others may NOT be fine with it and lie to avoid being abandoned.
The issue is that we’re addressing a video game where you CAN’T check in with your partner regularly and you only get 1 minute to gauge their reaction. That, coupled with their backstories and how the characters were written up to that point, is bound to make a lot of people (mono and poly) raise an eyebrow or feel uneasy.
While one can argue that leaving the poly relationships open ended/up to interpretation is an artistic choice or an attempt to add realism to the game, at the end of the day, you’re making a lot more people uncomfortable than you need to. There were plenty of poly players who just wanted to see healthy poly relationships with enthusiastic consent, and that’s it. They didn’t want to ask themselves if this was the right decision or if they were making their lover feel worse deep down. That’s something to address in reality, not fantasy. If the developers wanted to welcome poly players in, they should have done so in a way that makes them feel comfortable/satisfied.
This point will lead into WHO I think should have been poly instead but that’s for a little later in the post.
Character backstories and potential trauma
This is largely referring to Astarion but applies to Shadowheart and Karlach as well: If you are going to give characters a lot of layers, insecurities, fears, and trauma, you need to handle their relationships carefully. Not only are you building a character, but you’re letting players see their own traits reflected back at them. When it comes to abuse (physical or sexual), I personally think it’s important to consider player reactions to certain aspects of the game (especially those who have experienced abuse in their own lives).
I think Astarion’s sexual abuse and overcoming of trauma was well written (and a lot of people who experienced similar situations agreed). However, once the developers added poly into his story, I witnessed two prominent reactions from players:
- People defending it, saying that they were fine with poly relationships in their own lives despite going through abusive relationships (which is completely fine and valid).
- People who had the opposite experience, where they lied and said they were fine with poly to please their partners, then felt miserable throughout the relationships. (This is also fine and valid.) These players (even some who went through with the poly relationship in the game) came out feeling uncomfortable and reminded of their pasts.
The ambiguity the developers went for just made this whole situation worse, as it led to arguments and disagreements in the community, with some people insisting the brothel scene helps Astarion heal, while many believed it had the opposite effect. The same arguments were made regarding the Halsin relationship.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with writing a story and sticking to it regardless of how uncomfortable it makes people feel, but in this case, there were so many other options besides Astarion you could have chosen. I think in the long run, it’s better to leave his character away from poly to avoid making lots of people (including SA victims) uneasy when it’s an optional feature anyway. (No one would have complained if he said a simple “that’s not what I’m looking for” or “I’m not comfortable sharing” and left it at that.)
(I’ll go more into more detail about Astarion, Karlach, and Shadowheart later, but will move on for now.)
​

1. WHICH CHARACTERS SHOULD HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO BE POLY INSTEAD OF THE ONES WE GOT (AND WHY)

Now, just because I recommend removing poly options from certain characters doesn’t mean it should be omitted entirely. I just think there were far better options available to the developers (character wise, story wise, and player expectation wise). I agree with the online sentiment that instead of taking a step back and figuring out which characters worked best for poly, the developers instead chose the most popular male and female characters and called it a day without discussing whether or not these were the ideal options.
As I was reading through everyone’s complaints and critiques of the poly implementation, I took a moment to figure out which characters would fit it best. I took several factors into account.
You need a character who poly players are confident their yes means yes and no means no (meaning they need to be a generally honest and forthright person). It’s not a good idea to have sexual trauma or a past of people pleasing/coercion because while not all SA victims are monogamous by any means, because it’s a video game and not real life, this opens the door to a lot of other issues and can leave poly players unsure if the character’s past influenced their ability to say yes or no. This is especially relevant because the game only takes place over 4 months. Not only are the romantic relationships just beginning, but Karlach and Astarion literally killed their abusers a few days ago. The pain is still fresh and a lot of healing needs to be done. It’s better to leave the sexual content away from them for now (and if poly players want to imagine the characters opening up the relationship later, they can. It just shouldn’t happen in the current game.)
With those factors in mind, I started narrowing down the characters to figure out which ones would suit the criteria.
Ones that AREN’T a perfect fit:
Astarion: two hundred years of sexual abuse (which is a lot to recover from), he just regained his bodily autonomy, he is a habitual liar, he can be talked into doing things he hates and only protests after the deed is done, even after Cazador dies in Act 3 he will do things he doesn’t want to in order to appease the player, killing one’s abuser does not magically fix all the internal issues and insecurities, the list goes on.
Gale: His issues aren’t as obvious or prominent but he also has a history of people pleasing and doing things he doesn’t want to simply to make his partner happy (see Mystra and the brothel scene).
Karlach: While she is pretty chill about the brothel, the most prominent problem this game has is that she’s literally dying. Even if she was open to poly, as someone pointed out, any loving partner would dedicate what little time they have left to focusing on her.
Shadowheart: This one has the most discussions around it because the writing is inconsistent. This is also the only romance I personally haven’t gone through so I can’t get into full details. However, what I have seen discussed is: brainwashing and memory wipes, being forced to be a “honeypot” against her will, she links her love of poly back to the cult that she spent the whole game trying to escape, her personality does a fairly sudden 180 when poly is brought up. This specific case is more of a “the poly aspect makes the writing feel inconsistent” but the issues of her cult and coercion are also very important.
That leads into characters who ARE a better fit (and bear in mind that this would require rewrites and other stuff that would have had to happen in earlier stages of development, though the tweaks would honestly be minimal):
Minthara: She may have insecurities about the Absolute and choosing her own path, but she is never insecure when dealing with romance. She knows what she wants and how to get it. While I adore her “lay a finger on them, and I’ll cut you” dialogue in the brothel, no one would have been surprised if she was written as poly. It fits her character and if she says, “Go right on with Halsin,” we all know she means it. You could honestly take Ascended Astarion’s Halsin dialogue and paste it into hers instead. The “you are mine” line would make more sense for her than him.
Laezel: This is the most obvious one. She is not only confident in her relationships and sexual preferences, but she also comes from a poly society. Like Minthara, she knows what she wants and will refuse if she doesn’t agree with something. Again, while I love her romance shifting from only wanting casual sex to becoming strictly monogamous, no one would have been surprised if she remained consistent throughout instead.
Halsin: He doesn’t have a history of lying, he knows what he wants, and he is supposed to be one of the more mature members of the group. While I think his writing itself was handled poorly (I dedicate a whole section to that at the end), he’s still a fine option for poly. My only change would be that they make his preferences very obvious in Act 1 and or 2. I saw lots of Halsin fans being super disappointed when they found out he wasn’t willing to be monogamous (and again, you don’t learn this until sixty hours in, so you’ve not only missed out on all the other romances but you can’t just go back and remedy that easily). His talk about the drow kidnapping in the brothel is questionable but that’s easy enough to omit (I saw a lot of people wondering why it was added at all. While Astarion’s trauma was carefully implemented, many felt Halsin’s was carelessly tacked on and almost fetishized.)
This final one is tricky. We know the developers wanted a male option but it’s hard when both Wyll and Gale are written as strictly monogamous. However, going by my criteria from before and therefore omitting Gale and Astarion for aforementioned issues, that leaves us only one option (and it makes sense the more I think about it).
Wyll: Like the other three, Wyll doesn’t lie to spare people’s feelings. He knows what he wants, he accepts his decisions (even the Mizora one), and he is always down to have an open discussion about anything. The only thing holding him back from poly narratively is his nobility and wish to be traditional. Just like the others, I personally like this trait, but since we’re speaking in “what if’s” we can ignore that. It’s easy enough to tweak his story to him being more open to try new things (especially because in most endings, he doesn’t end up becoming a noble anyway). I did see a few people mention that making Wyll the poly option instead of Astarion would have made him more interesting and layered as well.
Of course, these implementations would have to be coupled with them being truthful/open about their poly traits from the beginning of the game, as mentioned before.
This lineup also fixes another problem people had: the current BG3 poly options completely cut off lesbians and straight men. Only bisexuals, straight women, or gay men can have a poly relationship in the game.
What I propose (or at least pretend to since no real changes will be made) is that Halsin and Minthara are the ones who suggest the poly thing (or more ideally, it’s a dialogue option for the PLAYER to choose, since many poly people said it’s weird to insert yourself into a couple rather than having the couple proposition you). This way the options can expand. You now have
Minthara and Laezel
Minthara and Wyll
Halsin and Laezel
Halsin and Wyll
I stumbled upon some threads in this rabbit hole where people were initially debating who they thought would be poly (before the game officially came out). The three most prominent answers were: Minthara, Laezel, and Astarion (though I should clarify that at this point, most players assumed Astarion’s hedonistic playboy persona was real and not an act). On the other hand, once the poly options were fully available and explored, most people were surprised (in a negative way) that Astarion, Shadowheart, and Karlach had been chosen. They felt that poly had been slapped on to sell more games, rather than carefully implemented to fit the story.
Now that I’ve established the alternative I believe should have happened, I can expand a little more on why what we got wasn’t satisfactory. (I’d like to add a note that I personally romanced Astarion the most, Karlach once, and Shadowheart never, so the evidence I go over will heavily lean to one side, unfortunately. There are other redditors who get into the Shadowheart debate in more detail than I could. I can link these below if anyone bothers to read this far and wants to see them.)
​

1. WHY THE CHARACTERS THE DEVELOPERS CHOSE TO MAKE POLY WEREN’T IDEAL

Karlach:
This is the most simple of the three. On the surface, I initially thought she would be a good idea for poly. She lets you sleep with the prostitutes in the brothel, she’s pretty blatant about her wants and needs, she’s touch starved, and she initially seems like she’d be fine with Halsin.
But there are two issues:
One, in the Halsin proposition dialogue, she outright states that she isn’t really cool with a poly relationship. (She says something along the lines of, “I’ll have to chew on that for a while. I’m not sure I want this right now and don’t think I ever will.”) So she’s very blatant in telling you that this isn’t what she wants, but she’ll tolerate it because she loves you. It’s easy to see why this would make poly people feel bad and wish for an alternative.
Now, this could be fixed by changing her dialogue to being super enthusiastic, but even if you did, you get problem two: She is dying. She has weeks left to live. You the player spend most of your day fighting enemies so you only have a few hours left to spend with your lover. No kind hearted partner, poly or otherwise, would waste those precious hours on a casual relationship with Halsin when they should be focusing entirely on Karlach. Halsin will still be around at the end of the game. To the player’s knowledge, Karlach won’t.
If she wasn’t dying, I would list her as a possible poly option. But because she only has a few weeks to live, she just can’t be. Her existence as one of the three poly options was what cemented the theory (in my mind) that the developers chose the most popular romance options, rather than the ideal ones.
Shadowheart:
Again, this was the one that some skeptical poly people said felt the most right in terms of presentation. She is enthusiastic about Halsin and the twins, she participates, and if you were to pick the most likely to be cool with it, she wins.
However, there are still a lot of issues with this choice (in terms of backstory, insecurities, reasons for poly, and treatment of monogamous players). Again, please bear in mind that this is the one romance I myself didn’t do so some facts may be off or vague.
Backstory: Her entire life up to this point has been erased. She was forced to do horrific things against her will (abusing her parents, being abused herself, torturing others, seducing people). She puts up a constant act of loving torture and being evil, but as you play through the game, you realize she doesn’t actually like harming people and she seeks genuine connections and love despite claiming she doesn’t. I didn’t fully appreciate her until I did an evil Dark Urge run because while my psychotic monk, dictator Minthara, and Ascended Astarion were killing people left and right, she continued to disapprove of our evil actions despite “choosing” Shar in the end. To a lesser extent than Astarion, she does lie to the player about her wishes and intentions, which is one of the criteria I went into earlier.
Insecurities: I didn’t see this myself but I read plenty of threads about how her confidence is also an act. She is one of the only characters to continually ask the player if their relationship is still ongoing and if they’re happy with her. Her dialogue throughout the romance seems to be leading to her preferring monogamy and complete loyalty, so it feels out of character when she suddenly switches at the end of her arc. (Can real life people do this? Sure. Is it a very strange and sometimes off-putting writing choice? Yes, especially because there are very few hints (if any) of her being poly throughout the romance.) This also links into my ‘communicating that a character is poly to the player’ problem from earlier.
Reasons for poly: This is what I personally had the most issue with. If you cheat on her with Mizora, she explains that she’s fine with poly and/or open relationships and asks that you communicate with her first. Fine. No issues there. The problem arises when she explains WHY she’s fine with open relationships. It’s because Lady Shar encouraged it in the cult she grew up in. You know, the cult that abused her and brainwashed her for years. The one she spent the entire game trying to escape. She continually tries to distance herself from both Shar and the practices she encouraged. She expresses disgust in the Act 3 section when talking about how she had to torture and seduce people. She could choose to be poly for herself after the fact, but players are allowed to be a little concerned that her main reason for being poly is directly a result of her abusive goddess’s teachings.
Similar to Astarion, it is possible for someone in Shadowheart’s position to be poly in real life. Everyone is different and reacts to things differently. However, from a writer and developer standpoint, it’s better to just leave her monogamous and avoid all these pitfalls. As we saw, even with her enthusiastic consent to Halsin and the twins, her backstory and character arc up to that point still left people doubtful and uncomfortable. Again, since there are much better options for poly characters, why choose Shadowheart?
My final point for Shadowheart was about how it treated monogamous players. This personally irked me and I feel like it was the worst way to introduce poly because it actively antagonizes monogamous players and ruins the experience for them. (Thankfully Karlach and Astarion’s poly romances didn’t seem to have this issue to such an obvious extent).
I’ll summarize what people experienced when romancing Shadowheart. In Act 3, Halsin asks you to start a poly relationship with Shadowheart. If you tell him, “No, I’m not interested” he says that’s fine and will move on. No problem there. The issue arises if you keep him in your party. Despite you rejecting him, he will proceed to flirt with Shadowheart instead, which makes him seem pushy and creepy (which you don’t want as a writer unless it’s intentional). This made things particularly uncomfortable for lesbian players, though I completely understand how it would make ANY monogamous player annoyed, regardless of gender or preference. What makes it worse is that Shadowheart will then flirt back with him. The game ignores any preferences or input from the player here and they can’t respond to it. This bothered me, since the game up to that point seemed to at least respect the fact that mono players exist and want to have a romance that suits them.
But you could argue it was just a bug/forgetting to flag dialogue correctly. I could accept that, until you take both Shadowheart and Halsin to the brothel. Not only will Halsin invite himself in a third time after being rejected, but Shadowheart will say she’s dreamed of having sex with him before the player can even accept or reject Halsin’s suggestion. Most people would rightfully get angry when their romantic partner mentions wanting to sleep with one of their friends. From a writer’s standpoint, this is just disrespectful to the player’s choices and has zero reason to be this way. I’m not sure how such a mistake was made and why it hasn’t been rectified, but I’m disappointed that they didn’t at least lock that section behind the poly romance. It’s a fine scene if you HAVE agreed to date Halsin, but the existence of poly relationships shouldn’t completely ruin the experience for monogamous players. The writers should have tried to view these interactions from both perspectives, rather than simply one side or the other. And again, because the writers failed to communicate Shadowheart’s preferences early on, no one encountered this until they were three acts in and invested.
[There's a character limit so I'll have to do a part 2 to finish the Astarion points and discuss Halsin.]

We’ve been together three years and had a few talks about expectations/boundaries with things like this. He’s always been respectful. We have a good relationship and I’ve never questioned his loyalty except online, sigh.
Weirdly if he does watch porn I’m not that bothered (I mean general videos etc - not live/paid/interactive). Our sex life is great, but I get it. But tonight he was showing me a video on Instagram and below the search bar shows the most recently visited accounts. Top name is one I recognise from a few times seeing it and so I take a peep on my own account.
How original - an OnlyFans girl where all of her pics are tits and ass and tattoos and piercings (just his type, wooow). What gets me is she lives in his home city (a country near ours) and is more of a ‘girl-next-door’ type. Couple hundred followers. So even though she’s gorgeous she seems actually accessible which bothers me more? Idk how to explain it. I know he wouldn’t cheat in person but,
I’m angry but I know if I express this he’ll probably say I’m overreacting and she’s just a friend of a friend (probably true, he’s got a lot of friends in the alternative scene in that city) but like… what else is he looking at? She doesn’t follow him back, they’re not friends. I just want one relationship where I know that there aren’t random naked girlies in the background.