Write reply to phone interview

The situation:
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a cunt, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.

So I broke up with my DA ex about two months ago after a very intense 5 month long distance relationship. Promised me the world, had a whole future planned out. Told me I was the first person she’d been with who she could see a future with. Then out of the blue, it was done. Spent the week with her, went home the next day and that night she ended it over FaceTime. Told me I wasn’t strong enough despite having a far more difficult life than her and surviving, we weren’t right for each other, I also think her parents had something to do with it as she’d confessed she ended a previous relationship because her dad said he was weighing her down and the night before the breakup I’d overheard a conversation between them about me. We had plans for me to move back closer to her as it was also my hometown and I’d been away for 5 years. I was only a month away from moving back, I failed a job interview which personally I think is what scared her off. She was very emotional during the breakup and crying like a maniac. She was hot and cold for a week after, flaking on plans to meet for a coffee. I went into no contact after that for about 6 weeks. Decided to reach out before moving back to see if she’d meet up for the coffee (a mistake in hindsight). She was receptive and friendly but said in the future. I tried to keep a conversation going but only got one reply with a day in between. Decided to call her and she was surprised but still a little cold, I just wanted to chat and reconnect but she asked if we could have “this conversation” another time. I guess she assumed I was trying to get her to get back together. I told her I was just hoping to reconnect and she again said “in the distant future”, she emphasised “distant”. I told her I think we can work on things and she said she’d be open to it just not now. I felt positive about the call but couldn’t help feel like I was being kept as a backup option and being given false hope. So today I decided it’s finally time to move on and I removed her from social media and left her a text explaining why as I didn’t want it to come across like I was trying to get a reaction and told her I’d keep her number and if she ever decided she’d like to work on things reach out. All I got in response was “ok hun”. In hindsight yes I shouldn’t have reached out, but it baffles me how you can spend months with someone and have such a great connection and as soon as it’s done it’s like you don’t know them. During the breakup she was still asking what my moving plans were and she always said my little brother felt like her little brother too. But after the breakup she showed no interest in what I was up to and never bothered to reach out to my brother to ask how his job search was going. It’s like they just don’t care no matter how great the relationship was. It feels like I don’t know her anymore. Not once ounce of the person I loved is left and it hurts to see. I know I made mistakes (breaking no contact), and I tried my best not to seem needy. I have my regrets and I wish I’d never reached out, but at the same time I’m not convinced there was ever any hope of us getting back together in the first place. Maybe there was and I messed it up, who knows. Maybe she’s seeing someone else which is why she’s so unphased. I’ve been working on myself ever since the breakup, got back in the gym, curbed my bad habits and started healthy ones, even started therapy. At one point she was staying over with me and she called her twin brother who’d been her closest friend her entire life but recently had a rocky relationship (again due to the stepdad, funny how none of her siblings like the stepdad due to him interfering with their lives but she can’t see it), on the phone her own brother called her an evil bitch and it broke her heart, I sat comforting her as she cried her eyes out. If only I’d took note. Onwards and upwards I guess

Hi there I'm a 19 M college student. I'm get distracted by social media and adult videos too much that my studies and personal life is messed up very badly. I use twitter, Instagram, Facebook too much a day just for scrolling same for YouTube too. My avarage phone usage has become 9 hrs a day, I sleep late at night around 1.00 am and woke up at 10.00am it make so damn lazy that's why I can't study at morning, and even after 8-9 hrs sleep my body remains tired and i felt lazy all day, after scrolling for a while my mind doesn't work properly and i feel lonely, and I watch those inappropriate videos and doing that stuff which I'm regretting for, it's been a cycle for me... I don't know what to do, i didn't focus on my studies, i can't manage my schedules, I can't eat my food properly. I got bored too early and get frustrated and felt so low that I don't want leave from my small room and i don't want anyone to enter it..
Today before writing this message i uninstalled fb, Twitter bcz I got scared of my bad habits, I have to change but I don't know the way, I tried to-do apps but it seems like I'm too lazy to maintain that, plz help me 😔.

The situation:
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a Horrible personnt, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.

OK, so...I was in the mood for some company last Friday night, decided to call an escort, got in touch with one, then pulled the plug because she started putting off a heavy scam vibe. No money or deposit sent, and I thought that would be that. Am I a reckless, horned-up idiot? Yes. But I'm not a total idiot. The next day, I got a super angry text (from a Nigerian number) saying I wasted his girl's time and I owe him $1200. Of course, I blocked and deleted. The next day I got an even crazier text demanding that I pay, along with an extremely explicit death threat against me and my family, along with a photo of two beheaded human heads. Super disturbing and now - pissed at behavior, deleted and blocked the scammer again.
And today (three days later) I get this: "Greetings I’m writing to you to tell you that yesterday you were talking to my girl and I lost a lot of money for your game I’m Tony Gonzales boss and proletarian of the dating house which you wanted to be with one of my girls and you only played I have your information and everything about your family we’re going to solve this in a good way that’s why I communicate with you you owe me 2500 you can pay everything or something until I finish the payment you decide how we do it on the phone or in person"
(The use of the word "proletarian" was pretty amusing, actually.)
They called my cel at the same time they texted this, and then listed my name and address. So naturally, I will keep deleting and blocking until they hopefully go away, but shit I'm not gonna lie this has been a little rattling. Again, I know I was impulsive and reckless, so I consider it a lesson I definitely needed to be taught.

English is my first language. But despite that, I sound like an absolute moron when speaking to someone in environments where I need to sound professional. This makes me afraid of job interviews, meetings and presentations. Though I have no issues talking to people outside of professional settings, where I don’t need to use brain power.
I'm usually an excellent writer when I need to be. I can ace written interview questions and excel at writing assignments. However, when it comes to verbal communication, I struggle significantly. Despite my proficiency in written communication, speaking often feels like I'm operating on a much lower level, stumbling over words and failing to convey my ideas clearly. It's frustrating to know that I can express myself so well on paper but struggle to do the same verbally.
Any tips to help with this disconnect between their written and spoken communication skills? Is this because of my ADHD or am I just dumb?

My names Alistair and I’ve been writing cold emails for over 3 years now.
I found some free time today, and thought I could make myself useful and help out some agency owners.
If your sending cold emails at the moment and:

• Getting 0 replies
• Getting some, but not enough
• Getting lot’s but not converting any into meetings

DM me and I’ll send you my email address.
Then, you'll email me the document or the email you want me to review
Heck, even send me a whole sequence if you want..
But I’m only going to do this today, and will not do anymore than 5 reviews.
So with that in mind.. go!

The situation:
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a Horrible, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.

I should have thought to reach out to Reddit about this earlier. Here goes...
Our local library is awesome. It's a cornerstone of the community and a wonderful place for kids, full of activities and clubs and the like. This is due to a few particular individuals, but especially the director, who has made this place fantastic over the last few years.
Well, the board decided to fire her. Apparently, they've been meddlesome, 80's-era movie scumbags for a while, doing what they can to make her job hell, and they put the final nail into the coffin right about the time I thought I'd pursue the vacant trustee position, myself.
Long story short-ish, one of the nice old librarians had her phone hacked and at least one dick pic was sent out to various library groups, including groups that contain teens. The director immediately addressed the board leadership, as policy directed her to, was told she acted correctly, then was fired for not immediately going to the police about it, which wasn't policy.
The board told her she could either resign with a severance or be fired, but she chose to defend herself. She was pressured into signing something that said she was absolutely forbidden to discuss and part of this and unequivocally accepted any decision the board made, who would also not speak of it.
Unfortunately, they immediately started doing that, roving around the book club, "Something something, further director, something something MINORS! Gasp!" and have been actively sabotage replying l reemployment efforts in the field of not only the director, but the workers who walked out with her in solidarity, some of them still teens, themselves!
So, tonight is the meeting where I'm suddenly speaking before a board that has forbidden its remaining workers from contracting or even mentioning the former director, forbidden her from discussing the nature of her separation as they carry on as they like, and ultimately face that our beloved library may not be so for much longer. They have also proceeded to fire the custodian, a position they never had before her, only relied on the other workers to fill, and their event DJ, another hire of hers.
So, here are my questions. 1) Can they even do any of this? Coerce her into signing ostensibly legally binding paperwork that they then break, themselves? 2) Hide details of their decisions from the public? Isn't transparency part of the job? Don't they kind of work for us in that sense? 3) Do you think calling them out for this will even change anything?
I'm going to research more policy before tonight's meeting (they've also since mandated that policy information must be printed out at a fee to the individual, rather than something public and reasonably accessible), but would really like to know if I have a leg to stand on. Any help would be truly appreciated.

It may have been a long time coming, but I still feel kind of awful about it.
We were together for 10 months, and it was the best and worst relationship I’ve ever been in, but it was really just doomed from the start. When I first met him I was in a loveless marriage, and he was in a loveless relationship with someone he had a kid with. In my marriage we were together for 6 years, but the love had been gone for the last years. His relationship with his bm had been 3 years, but she had been continuously cheating. So, we ended up running away together. But his bm still lives at his parents house with his kid because she has no where else to go…?
The relationship started out intensely both physically and emotionally and neither of us were looking back.. at first, I guess. Until after about 3 months when she told him that she was 6 months pregnant, and he started being insecure about me being friends with mostly guys, and being a generally friendly person. I told him we can work through it together and I started changing how I interacted with people and who I interacted with that made him uncomfortable, and he started being in closer contact with her. It wasn’t long until he broke up with me the first time(1) and kicked me out of the apartment we lived in. We get back together within a couple of days. Only for him to leave me again (2) after about a month when I started noticing he was messaging her more and more while he was at work. We ended up getting back together the next night. But then I started getting anxieties. And I started to spiral asking for reassurance that he isn’t going to get back together with his ex and that it wasn’t something had to worry about with the new baby coming soon - and instead of reassurance he made me seem like I was being crazy for even questioning it and breaking up with me again (3). We ended up playing games together after 2 days and began talking about getting back together again, but he tells me he slept with her and is still in love with her, but in love with me too and convinces me to allow him to date both of us. Then I would live back at our apartment, and he would only be living at his parents with her for a bit to help take care of the newborn.
So he started staying there while I would stay back alone. He would see me every couple of days or so for a few hours, but never more than that. Then he started cancelling plans left and right, sometimes because he just didn’t feel like it… After the 3rd day or so of him cancelling plans last second I started losing it. I was getting ready to see him, excited. He said that he needed a minute because he was arguing with his bm then he just stopped replying. I called about 37 times then everything started going straight to voicemail, green text, and no replies on SC or Discord. After 6 hours I was fully convinced he left me for good. So I was going to cope for a night and be gone in the morning, but I did something bad. I went on tinder and sent each of my matches the same copy and paste “let’s hook up” messages. These back and forth messages went on for about 2 hours when he suddenly texted me saying he fell asleep. Then he suddenly showed up at the apartment happy and giddy. That’s when he saw me put my phone down and asked me for it. I said no at first then eventually confessed and gave him the phone. He was really upset.. and told me he was coming over to tell me that she was making him choose between me and her, and that he was choosing me. He then decided to forgive me and take me to get my things from my ex-husbands house and told me that things are going to be different this time.
Unfortunately they were different in the worst kind of way. Neither of us trusted each other anymore and he began crossing every boundary I had. Sleeping in the same bed as her still and being overly too friendly, and I sat by quietly thinking it was what I deserved. Eventually that blew up to him leaving me once again (4) time. I started packing, but I needed more boxes so he came by with them. We ended up hooking up and he ended up telling me he slept with her again. We were back together and moved back in within a day. But the issues still remained that he was crossing my boundaries. Eventually I ended up pregnant after 3 months. After a month I began to miscarry, and during it instead of being with me through it he went to his parents house and told me she needed his car, but didn’t come home until late. And then once again, someone I used to have a crush with messaged me out of the blue and I didn’t really reject him when he started hitting on me.
He then broke up with me the second day of the miscarriage, and then found out about the guy who was hitting on me a day or so later after the breakup. Unfortunately, we still had to live together.
Valentine’s Day he brings me flowers and balloons and cookies, but goes to his parents to spend the night with her. And on the weekend he takes me out for Valentine’s Day and I go through his phone for the first time in months. Turns out he’s been trying to get back together with her and getting rejected from before I was even pregnant. I decided to forgive him I guess like he forgave me. Eventually it turned into him leaving me (5) saying he can’t stand me and has always wanted to be back with her. So he moved back to his parents. A week later he comes back saying he resents her. And we got back together again. After about a month we both moved out. I went back home and so did he at his parent’s house, sleeping in the guest room. Things were good for about two weeks until he left me again (6).
He told he’s been trying to get back with her but she’s been with someone else for the last 5 months. We end up talking again and seeing each other again, but this time he keeps me blocked on everything but our cell and Snapchat. And of course after 2 weeks he stops talking to him again (7). And within a few days we’re talking again. He comes over and spends the night and everything is good until the weekend. We make plans for a hotel and for the weekend, but when Friday comes along im stuck waiting for him to show up. And then 9:45 pm I still get no reply. (8) And I just snap… I message his bm. And I tell her everything. That we slept together in her truck, the shit he’s talked, that he told me we were soulmates 3 days ago, and that he showed me their sex videos.
And we never spoke again. He just blocked me and it’s been 4 days (the longest we’ve gone without talking) and honestly the guilt is eating me alive. My friends tell me that he deserved to be exposed, but I feel awful about it.

I’ve applied for a secret clearance and got the interim clearance accepted within a week of submitting the SF86. How long did it take to interview your acquaintances and spouse? My spouse can’t have his phone at work and is worried he won’t be able to call back during business hours.

Is it best to submit to all mags at once for which you think your submission would be a fit (after familiarizing yourself with the kind of work each mag publishes)?
Or, is it best to submit only to that one or those few mags in which you'd *especially* like to see your piece published?
As a writer new to submitting, I'm grateful to be published at all. I don't think there's such thing as a "bad" lit mag; every acceptance for publication is an honor bestowed by people who love good writing, are dedicated to finding it, and at every level have a personal, repetitional stake in publishing only work they believe in. So from this mindset, it seems the first approach is best.
But here's an example: I recently submitted a piece to three journals where I thought my piece might be a good fit. I also chose these journals because of how they accompany what they publish with features such as a recorded author's reading of the piece, or an interview with the author about the piece, etc. My piece has been rejected by one of these journals so far, and I could be waiting at least another three weeks to hear back from one, and possible several months more to hear back from the other. Despite the rejection I feel confident in this piece; I put it through a lot of drafts and really pushed myself. But especially because I'm new to submitting, I'm thinking I should go ahead and submit to a bunch more journals, some of which have faster notification times than the two I've already submitted to, and this way give my piece the best chance of finding a home sooner than later.
I realize there's no "right" way to submit, just better ways. What are people's thoughts on this? What would you do in my shoes (and I figure many or most of you on here have been in my shoes)? Thanks.

So I think my phone is locked in with Verizon still unsure. Would I still be able to buy their sim kit and put minutes on it or buy data or whatever? I can't really afford the bill and just need calls to work for a phone interview really. I have an older androids I think it's A02s

So I’ve been interviewing with this company for about a month, I landed a job offer yesterday for 125k. During the initial phone call with the HR recruiter, she told me their range was about 110-115k (sounded kind of loose) and she mentioned it again after a second interview. I said I was fine with that range and didn’t say a specific number. Now, I’m thrilled they offered 125k, but I’m always one to negotiate for more money. But in this case, they’ve already offered more than I expected. I don’t want to seem greedy and I’m more than happy with that number. However, I know now is the time to ask. I was thinking of countering with 129k, but also juggling the idea to ask for 135k. Some background: I think I’m worried because just last week my friend told me she had countered a job offer (different industry) and they immediately rescinded the offer rather than just saying no. Thoughts?

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.

Hi all,
My first job out of college has primarily involved writing code that runs in a real time Linux environment. The code I've written wasn't the kind that focused on being ultra optimized. Instead, the focus was moreso on readability and reliability. We usually are not allowed to use most modern C++ features. Our coding standard is often described as "C with classes."
I have an interview coming up for a low latency position that also involves distributed systems. What would this kind of C++ development entail compared to what I'm currently doing?
In other words:

• What are some high level concepts I might want to familiarize myself with before the interview?
  
• More broadly speaking -- if, against all odds, I manage to land the position, what new skills might I be learning? What might I need to study up on in my own time? What would my day to day development look like? How might this differ from the development of an embedded software engineer?
  

Thanks!

Warning: very lengthy
Idk if this is the right flair, but I began writing a response to a question I saw posed here about what tornado we found the most fascinating. I began to write my answer about how fascinated I was by Jarrell and its uniqueness, when a realization hit me that ended up turning my response into a miniature essay that transcended just Jarrell. Credit to OP of that post for really getting me to think about Jarrell, a certain similar tornado, an issue in the weather community, and why I think it’s a good thing to see a potentially strong tornado not do enough damage to earn a high rating.
Jarrell is the tornado that brought my passing interest to my rotation of hyper fixations. Everything about it is so completely abnormal and it’s so well documented. Thirteen minutes and ~5 miles is so brief by (E)F5 standards, yet it did some of the most unimaginable damage by a tornado because of how slow it moved. (E)F5 windspeeds are terrifying when the tornado they’re attached to is moving at a normal pace, but when you’re getting potentially 200 mph tornadic winds staying almost stationary, the damage that can be done is frankly nightmarish.
I find it pretty haunting to think about how, if Jarrell was a more normal F5, some of the people who lost their lives may have actually survived. It went from a pretty unassuming rope doing negligible damage to a three quarter mile wide wedge doing unfathomable damage as one of the most unorthodox tornadoes ever recorded. The scary thing is, while I’ve been on an autism fueled rant about its uniqueness, Jarrell’s most defining feature isn’t so unique that a tornado like it happening is out of the question.
The day is April 30th, 2024. As we all well know, the end of April was a pretty notable time in terms of tornadoes. I’d spent most of my time during performances of the musical I’d just designed for almost entirely on my phone monitoring ongoing tornadoes. Westmoreland had happened the same day, Sulphur, Okemah, and Marietta the day before, and multiple EF3s including Harlan just a few days before. It was a weekday, so I was on a four day break between the two performance weekends. On a whim, I check this subreddit and see posts and comments about "Jarrell part 2" and the odd behaviors exhibited by the night’s storms. I hurriedly check the app formerly known as Twitter and see a PDS warning for Hollister, Oklahoma, and comments under that warning saying much the same thing.
Based on all evidence, that tornado was pretty strong, huge, long-tracked, slow-moving, had abnormal path, and had all the makings of a very notable and high rated storm. The only missing ingredient was damage. As I wrote the part of my response that was solely about Jarrell, this tornado came to mind. It could have been really bad, but it didn’t hit anything. After all was said and done, it was rated as an EF1 tornado, much to many weather enthusiasts’ ire. I am very happy about this rating.
When tornado enthusiasts think about worst case scenario tornadoes, I don’t think it’s a stretch to think that Jarrell is a name that pops up pretty often. There was no preparing for a tornado as unorthodox as the one that hit the small town of Jarrell, Texas, in 1997. As the April 30th tornado shows, though, tornadoes like Jarrell do happen. Jarrell’s most defining factor isn’t so rare that we don’t see tornadoes that fit into a similar category happen from time to time. The thing that makes Jarrell unique among these slow moving, strong tornadoes is that it hit a town, whereas many of its ilk do not. Imagine what the Hollister EF1 may have done if it had hit a town. It could have been another worst case scenario.
There are so many tornadoes that could have potentially ruined and ended lives that just did not because they stayed mostly away from places they could do harm to human life and property. There are tornadoes like Hollister that probably could’ve been EF3+ if they only hit the wrong place. I think that we should celebrate those tornadoes and their low ratings instead of finding ire within them. We should be thankful that unless something happens to change that, we’ll have made it eleven years without an EF5 in just six days from now, because there are tornadoes that could’ve possibly ended that drought if they’d only hit a populated area.
I know this was kind of rambly, but I wanted to share all the thoughts that came along when I was writing that original response that, like the tornado it was originally about, went from something small to something very, very big.

I'm currently at an up-and-coming SaaS company. The CEO is absolutely enraging, and his actions have eclipsed all other CEOs I’ve had before.
I’m currently the UI DesigneGraphic Designer, hired specifically for all things web design, and content creation. Every project has been thrown at us at the very last minute, with ridiculous expectations and then a sadistic hatred for everything that is presented to him. Here’s the running list since I’ve worked here:

• make a professional-grade case study video in 2 days, and get it through post-production the day after. We told him we needed professionals to do this. But he said no, do it anyways. He hated it..absolutely shit all over it. So we spent 10k to have it done professionally but now he doesn't want any of the content used, except for more investor buy in. We need the content for content.

-Ignore the approval of the giant trade show booth design, then approve it on the deadline day without seeing it. Shit-talk the design during the entire tradeshow
-require 10 DIGITAL DELIVERABLES and 5 PRINT DELIVERABLES for the trade show, ignore approvals for months, and THE DAY OF, require a COMPLETE REDO of all assets. On a Saturday, he will harass and threaten employees until the job is finished, and it can only be in his design—the grossest, most unattractive designs ever.
-create, script, and make a high-level avatar video to show to investors in one afternoon–oh yes, it cannot look AI or robotic, and it must have perfect emotions and intonation and be humanoid and lifelike. But we can't use real people, and it can't be a premade avatar. (queue mid-journey and photoshop)
-redesign the website that has been up for 2 years (before i got there) but wait, only use CEO’s poorly written grade 4 copy, in mass walls of text, and no graphics, and don't you dare change anything about it, ever….also do this in one afternoon
I think the worst, though, is at this year’s SKO, the day we roled out new product releases that the entire company had spent a whole year on, he completely shut it all down. Shit on everyone’s work said the complete opposite of every meeting he had had the past year about the roll-out of these products. The VP of Product was shredded, in front of the whole company.
He also will NOT accept any feedback. Will not take anyones word for anything. Seems to openly have a disdain for the marketing team. 5 times he has called in engineers to take over design and marketing tasks because he trusts them and theyre smart. Idk about you guys, but a software engineer creating a marketing video is about as visually appealing as you would guess it to be. But because theyre Engineers, theyre smarter than the female marketing team.
Here’s how we’ve survived:
-We voice record and transcribe every conversation and phone call with him, so he cant say he didnt say something.
-We write down the plan immediately, and send it to him.
-We create whatever he wants, to placate his fragile ego.
-We create what we know and understand to be industry standards, marketing and design best practices and do a damn good job.
-He will hate the product/design of his own creation.
-We then say, “yes, but” and pull out the professionally designed and marketed product, to which he can see that it is better.
-He still hates all of it. But by this point hes past the deadline so he has to approve of the one we did.
Im a single mom, I make good money, I have unlimited PTO and a chronically ill child, and killer insurance. I cant quit this job right now. But oh my god, can I say how much I loathe working for my boss.

Hey everyone, thank you for reading.
There was originally a much longer version but it became a massive wall of text and perhaps some TMI. Writing it was cathartic though. Anyway:
When I'm single I do lots of great things, want to improve myself so much just to feel alive and good about myself. Solo-mountaineering for example. This came from being 22 and lonely - I was a typical "nice guy", thought I was entitled to a girl because I wasn't an asshole (which makes me a prick). I developed crushes on girls that were nice to me and I got rejected (Misinterpreting niceness for interest), or they liked me back but I got overzealous and they realised I was not BF material. One day I just said "Okay I'm never going to have a wife and kids so what do I do instead". But here's the rub, when I work on myself girls do see me as a potential BF. Eventually from 26 onwards I had a few admirers, none of them really stuck long-term. What follows is one common issue among them.
When I'm in a relationship I get put on a pedestal because they see what I've done and think there's more to come. In actuality I end up neglecting what made me attractive to begin with. My happiness derives from her and I become complacent. Leading to a breakup.
You can skip the rest if you're short on time.
My most recent relationship was 5 years, ended a week ago. I wasn't always happy - covid took me out of the mountains for 2 years and I never got back into it. My work stopped for the same reason and I played video games instead. A very disruptive flatmate moved in 6 months ago and driven me crazy since. The type of housemate that watches TV or lectures for hours, finds headphones 'uncomfortable' and has phone calls for 4-5 hours a day. This area was a new development 6 years ago so the area went from super quiet to a hotbed of noise from families and construction work. I should have moved out, but I thought saving money was a higher priority. I dislocated my shoulder for the second time and I neglected routine rehab. I lost objects I owned from absent mindedness, blamed other people before discovering my dumb mistake. I grew resentful for the distance, and struggled to pay heed to her struggles as it was through a phone/laptop (impersonal) and I felt powerless to help without being physically present.
These factors made me irritable, negative, impatient, accusatory, noise sensitive and overly reactive to anything I perceived as idiotic (and my bar was low). I lost my cool often. The breakup was inevitable, especially as we already had distance hanging over our heads. Once again the usual things were mentioned on top - Lack of ambition, lack of masculinity. Lost respect, can't get it back.
And I'm now approaching 40. I thought I was set when I met this girl, but here we are once again. After doing much reading, I've also come to realise I have avoidant attachment disorder which stifles communication. If I was going through a rough time, or she got angry at me our contact would cease for a few days - My own doing and a stupid precedent to set that means I don't know if I can contact her or not.
There's no doubt that I can respond to being single productively, as I've already gone on one trip and many more are planned. Don't me wrong, I am not glad this happened - I am swimming in regrets and feelings of loss, being at home sucks but I will manage. I came to terms with being perpetually single once, therefore I believe I can do it again. But relationships wise? I dread the whole process of meeting someone and then ultimately losing their respect because I didn't fulfil their expectations. I often feel like I can never meet my own, but I live on knowing I'll never be who I was at 18-21. I just wish I was the same person I was at 29-32.
I am moving out by the way. I was very close to moving to her, but she must have seen the writing on the wall and ended it in advance.
Thanks again.

So, I work for a company which I very much like however this job I applied would be an upgrade, job and salary wise. Did the interview, days after HR called to offer me the job. I've tried to negotiate the salary a bit higher, went to speak to the manager which is a very nice person. 1 day after, he agreed with my counter-offer and said that HR would contact me. 2 days gone by, I've let my TL know but since I didnt receive any offer in writing I asked her to leave it between us until then. Yesterday I've enquired him when HR would be in touch, he replied saying would ask them but said it was all set. Today HR called me saying that they'd back down on the raise, I've replied that ok and would still accept the job, then she asked me to call later. 3 hours she called me back and said that they were withdrawing the job offer due to nonsense reasons. Like, I am happy that I still have a good job a and a get along with my superiors and stuff, but this level of disrespect and unprofessionalism I've never seen or hear before, and I come from a third world country. Situation itself making me feel like shit, disrespected and dunno, even wondering if they would ever do this to an irish person. Or this is like standard around here? Cuz whem I come from, negotiating a job offer is completely normal. Don't know if I should do something, let it be, if I have grounds for a lawsuit or whatever.
TL;DR: accepted a job offer, spoke to manager, he accepted my counter offer after spoken to HR, days after they back down raise and then withdrawn offer.

For context my mom was a single mother of 3 kids. She would have relationships but they never worked out. That being said we all knew all too well what it was like growing up in a broken home. She was always working and barely home and left us to our own devices. (Back before technology) with rules like don’t open the door for anyone and don’t answer the phone, come straight home after school and so on. But more often than not I was the only one that would go straight home.
We often couldn’t afford things but always had food. We always had to meet and deal with the new bf and that would last months to years at best. Sometimes moving in with them just to do a midnight/midday move while they weren’t there. Needless to say but our childhood was very unstable and stressful and lacking in many aspects.
Now to get into it Me and my sister Bebe never really got along. I am younger and we didn’t have common interests. We naturally did our own things and avoided each other when we could. We look a lot alike so people often mistaken us for the other. But personally wise we are nothing alike. We were always compared to the other and it often felt like we were competing with each other. So we were always fighting.
Eventually we both settled down, got our own houses and partners and had kids. We got back in touch when we had kids. We met each other’s families and everything seemed fine. We would trade off babysitting for each other and do different family activities together birthday parties, thanksgiving, Christmas and so on.
Years have passed and the kids are older now. The kids still enjoy seeing each other and playing. Everyone gets along… well almost everyone. My sister always knew how to get under my skin and would say things either “jokingly” or when no one was around say something to hurt me. I knew what she was doing but I would blow it off and act like it didn’t bother me. As time went on it got worse. And a few time someone would say something and she’d just say “it’s a joke.” Or “you know I didn’t mean anything by it”. Or “your too sensitive.” something similar.
I knew it wasn’t right and I knew if I had said those types of things to her she would have been pissed. Of course I would tell my parents everything that happened after a visit and of course he wasn’t happy. We both decided to go low contact for my mental health as it was taking a toll on me. We didn’t see them for about a year.
When it came to my relationship with my sister I was left wondering where I went wrong… why was my sister hated me so much that she felt she had to berated, belittle, compare, and be competitive towards me every time we saw them. I just couldn’t understand, I thought our childhood rivalry was over years ago. I thought maybe I was doing something unconsciously that upset her.
As it turns out maybe my mere existence upsets her and it’s not a reflection of me but of just how different we are. So one day I get a call from my sister’s husband Joey and they are separating. She’s bin on the Ashely Madison website and cheating for years and has a current bf. They both decided to divorce. He got the house and payed her out. They are doing 50/50 custody.
I came to find out that she has always had a problem with me and never wanted me there and I guess how she treated me was her way of letting me know that. Joey told me they would constantly fight about me and or how she treated me. And that we are family and the kids and so on. At some point she called me and told me about the situation and her new place and we should come have dinner sometime and see her new place. Then it became and meet my new bf and his family.
My husband had me text her to cancel the dinner as soon as it became a meet the bf, his family thing. I told her honestly that we weren’t ready to meet him and maybe in time. And honestly the reason we hadn’t seen them the last year was because of how she treated me.
She instantly snapped why would we need to wait to meet her bf? Why would that make a difference? If her leaving someone she wasn’t meant to be with meant we wouldn’t be in her life then so be it… I was shocked. I didn’t even know how to reply. We only just found out about the cheating and her moving out and already she wants us to meet him and isn’t understanding how that could be very uncomfortable.
For context we are Catholics. But our mother wasn’t a good example and we never went to church, my husband on the other hand is catholic as well. He was raised in a household that went to church every Sunday and holds the same beliefs as me that marriage isn’t something you just throw away. And cheating is disgusting…. He didn’t want to go and risk losing his shit on them let alone in front of his family. We don’t even know if his family knows the truth behind their relationship. We don’t want to meet him. And we were both upset that we know how hard it will most likely be on the kids.
Ending we are still in contact with Joey and the kids. We started doing family activities together again and we have offered Joey help with the kids or anything else… he is a great guys, great dad and honestly has handled the whole situation way better than anyone I know would have.

I was in a shortlist of finalists for an ideal TT job at a SLAC and I know as of Friday, all the interviews, teaching demonstrations, etc. are done (My zoom interview with the president was the last one). This week, now my classes are all done, I'm supposed to be writing a chapter for a collaborative book I promised to write by July, but I'm too nervous about a phone call or email about this position.
The last 18 months applying for various TT teaching-focused positions has been some of the toughest times of my life for stress & nerves. It's been more stressful than my doctorate. After being interviewed multiple times via zoom and a finalist before, I saw this one and thought it would all be worth it for this one as it seemed likely one of the best fits. The interviews and teaching demo all seemed to go well but, I don't think they were perfect as 1 or 2 things I second-guessed after the fact. I'm not sure of the odds as I don't know details on the other one or two finalists.
Does anyone have good strategies for nerves and stress in such a position?