Candy and motivational sayings
PositiveQuotess
2021.05.22 19:53 rinusunny90 PositiveQuotess
Inspirational quotes and motivational sayings have an amazing ability to change the way we feel about life.
2024.05.14 00:55 cologetmomo An open letter to djdefenda, his team, and alternate accounts. I have 500 words for you.
The format and resulting engagement of Reddit can create some of the best forums on the internet. When I come into a subreddit for a hobby I very much enjoy, and users say your treatment of them dissuades them from engaging, that actually makes me angry. The years you have spent engaging with other Reddit users, disguising as a benign hobbyist before devolving into fallacious discussion, is over. When I say you, Djdefenda, I’m also including a litany of other accounts that model their behavior from your example or are alternate accounts you operate.
I started with two simple criticisms of your product. Claims you simply could have blissfully obfuscated your way out of, as you had done for years. But you chose your second favorite option, ignore the argument and direct insults and accusations of bullying.
You need “sandponics” to be discrete and differentiated from aquaponics to sell a book and course for which you were, and continue to be, wholly unqualified to author. You do this by wildly extrapolating limited and outdated research, misconstruing trial data, then constantly bombarding threads with tangential explanations, fallacies, and gaslighting.
This complete dissociation from reality motivated by money is an ethical failing, but I don’t consider it your worst offense.
When you compare simple critiques of your demonstrably false claims to acts of online bullying and relate that to acts of suicide, you demonstrate a level of morality I find disgusting. That is disgusting. Then to compile a list of usernames and post that to a url that reads “how to kill robots” makes you a little fucking ghoul. Again, so you can protect a product which we are all free to criticize and which has never reached any level of harassment. Hence why I am still here, and you are banned.
My advice, take your “team”, while they still waste any time with you, and use them to promote your version of sandponics (iAVS) on a platform that doesn’t garner the same style of feedback as Reddit. With enough YT shorts or tik toks, maybe you attract the eye of society’s gaze for a short time. Do a thumbnail where you have a surprised face and point to a headline that reads something like, “Agriculture is obsolete!” If you’re lucky, enough of those clicks will land on your website and maybe you’ll sell a few books. If you’re really lucky, maybe you’ll make in a quarter what I make in a year before the spotlight moves on. Next, pay your minions, spend a few years investing the rest into your sandponics and make the first commercial-scaled long-term system and prove us all wrong. Of the hundreds, if not thousands, of papers documenting aquaponics, “sandponics” has like ten, and none from this century. Good luck.
The users of aquaponics decided they were done with your shit and would rather get back to the community they enjoy. A place where we share our creations and experiences without fear of your vitriol and judgement.
submitted by cologetmomo to iAVs [link] [comments]
I started with two simple criticisms of your product. Claims you simply could have blissfully obfuscated your way out of, as you had done for years. But you chose your second favorite option, ignore the argument and direct insults and accusations of bullying.
You need “sandponics” to be discrete and differentiated from aquaponics to sell a book and course for which you were, and continue to be, wholly unqualified to author. You do this by wildly extrapolating limited and outdated research, misconstruing trial data, then constantly bombarding threads with tangential explanations, fallacies, and gaslighting.
This complete dissociation from reality motivated by money is an ethical failing, but I don’t consider it your worst offense.
When you compare simple critiques of your demonstrably false claims to acts of online bullying and relate that to acts of suicide, you demonstrate a level of morality I find disgusting. That is disgusting. Then to compile a list of usernames and post that to a url that reads “how to kill robots” makes you a little fucking ghoul. Again, so you can protect a product which we are all free to criticize and which has never reached any level of harassment. Hence why I am still here, and you are banned.
My advice, take your “team”, while they still waste any time with you, and use them to promote your version of sandponics (iAVS) on a platform that doesn’t garner the same style of feedback as Reddit. With enough YT shorts or tik toks, maybe you attract the eye of society’s gaze for a short time. Do a thumbnail where you have a surprised face and point to a headline that reads something like, “Agriculture is obsolete!” If you’re lucky, enough of those clicks will land on your website and maybe you’ll sell a few books. If you’re really lucky, maybe you’ll make in a quarter what I make in a year before the spotlight moves on. Next, pay your minions, spend a few years investing the rest into your sandponics and make the first commercial-scaled long-term system and prove us all wrong. Of the hundreds, if not thousands, of papers documenting aquaponics, “sandponics” has like ten, and none from this century. Good luck.
The users of aquaponics decided they were done with your shit and would rather get back to the community they enjoy. A place where we share our creations and experiences without fear of your vitriol and judgement.
2024.05.14 00:54 Splc07 Would I be the asshole if i left my girlfriend of a year and almost 6 months over mental problems?
Hear me out, i just got reddit to ask this question because i really can’t decide, My girlfriend(17 turing 18 f) and me(16 turning 17 m) have been dating a bit over a year now, we met through my friend last year who was a senior, she was his cousin and we met at hoco, it was good when started dating but there was always something that bugged me, from the beginning she would rant and insult hurt family to me and she would tell me things about them i don’t think were okay to say, i didn’t say anything because i didn’t want to seem rude or anything about it so i just nodded along but the more we dated the more i saw more of he i liked to overlook that, everyone has family issues right? however after like 3 months she started getting me involved, asking me to tell her what to do but the thing is after the first couple times she started getting mad at me after she had her arguments and i tried to help she said it was repetitive but when i tried to give her advice she would say she doesn’t need a lecture(i was suggesting things u always made sure to watch how i talked) i have tried also just listening but she always gets upset, recently it’s been getting more frequent and with her graduation coming up she’s behind on a lot of assignment and all of her classes needs to be passed because she transferred last year and she needs the credits from these classes, i have don’t everything i can to relive her stress i have told her she’s doing great given encouragement but she still stressed which im not sayin gis wrong but whenever she’s like that what ever i do she doesn’t like she gets extra upset at me for, currently im on call with her and she just yelled at her nephew for asking for a candy and when her computer didn’t turn if she almost broke it by slamming her hand into it, i tried to ask her what was wrong and she yelled at me and said she was mad at me but she said she doesn’t know why but it’s a bunch of small little things but then she said she not fully upset at me but she’s mad at me and when i asked what she started saying it wasn’t me again. i don’t know what to do, she’s behind on a lot of assignments and i went over recently and her mom told me off for letting her sleep and watch movies instead of doing work but u recently found out that she had a bunch of missing work because she hadn’t told me even through i had asked her before if she ever had any to let me know but i didn’t know, i don’t know what to do and i have asked other people on my life but they all said different things, and before you ask if i have ever talked to her about it yes i have multiple times i have asked her to stop getting mad at me when she gets into an argument with her parents and she always gets sad calls her self a bad girlfriend and says she will change but we have had that convo at least 5 or more times, if you hav read this far thank you and please help me i don’t know what to do
submitted by Splc07 to WouldIBeTheAhole [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 00:49 badd1e Marika, Messmer, trauma and free agency.
Some shower thoughts that I’ve had ruminating for a while so I just want to stick them somewhere for posterity. Feel free to poke holes in the theory and downvote to oblivion 😊.
I’ve been thinking a lot of the portrait of the old man and young woman in the DLC trailer and it led me down a rabbit hole of theory crafting and I was wondering if anyone else shared these thoughts.
In short, if we are to presume the woman in the portrait is Marika then I posit that the man is her father and Messmer is the incestuous first-born child between them. In an effort to free herself from the trauma and abuse, she abandoned them and separated the Land of Shadow from the rest of reality. However, Messmer sided with his dad and stayed.
Now for a slightly more in-depth analysis.
In my opinion, the whole story of Elden Ring is essentially the tale of Marika and her desires and machinations to be free from the abuse, control and influence she has faced her whole life. This has been her primary motivation and all her different consorts/families are attempts to achieve that. Some are more successful than others. These were her tools as they were the only ones she was exposed to by a twisted father who had varying degrees of success in using her for his own ends (until he presumably faced his comeuppance what with the Great Rune-esque shit that’s impaling him).
Let’s quickly examine the families.
Godfrey:
Produced Morgott and Mohg, two Omen cursed offspring who were connections to the old world that Marika was escaping from and therefor shunned. Godwyn however was the apple of his mother’s eye but too enthralled by the Golden Order. She sends Godfrey away as perhaps he too was only using her to fulfil his own ambitions of conquest.
As Radagan with Rennala:
I imagine Radagan as a manifestation of her trauma and reluctance, or inability, to let go of it and move on (exhibited by his attempt at repairing the Elden Ring to restore order). Their children seem to be the ones most resistant to change (the exception being Ranni because she is fucking cool):
Radahn stalled the stars to stop them from them from claiming Ranni’s destiny. (also see Radahn’s reluctance to move on from his beloved horse when he literally outgrew him).
Rykard was so upset with the upending of the Golden Order and the debasement of the Shattering that it eventually led to him turning his back on the Greater Will and turned to blasphemy.
Ranni is their greatest triumph. She figured it out and was able to self-actualise and free herself from the Greater Will’s influence. However, Marika was not to know this yet and therefore tried again.
Radagan and Marika:
This was an attempt of self-sufficiency. By splitting in two she didn’t have to rely on outsiders and their own aspirations; however, the schism perhaps caused its own problems (e.g. Radagan’s doubt).
The children this produced were flawed physically but, on the surface, it would appear that they have the most free agency of all the children (again, with the exception of Ranni). Miquella formed his own damned tree while Malenia waged war with her siblings and none could stay in her path. However, look under the surface and you could argue that they aren’t as free as they appear to be and are actually beholden to each other (as well as their afflictions). Miquella is driven by his desire to cure his sister’s scarlet rot while Malenia is “the blade of Miquella”. However, I don’t think they consider the other as a burden and are driven by the love they share.
With all that in mind, this is my imagining of the before-times.
First was an abusive father. Perhaps Marika had been chosen as an Empyrean and he manipulated her to exert his will. The impregnation could be a means of this. If he produces a child with a god then he can manipulate that child to continue his dominance. Or perhaps he was an evil shit and impregnated Marika regardless of her Empyrean destiny.
Upon Marika’s apotheosis she sought the means to free herself from a life of subordination; first from her father (and perhaps the culture that created the conditions, hence the banishment of The Land of Shadow from the rest of the world) and secondly from the Greater Will that bestowed her this monkey’s paw of godhood.
Just a thought as an aside (I had nowhere else to put this). What makes Marika a god? She isn’t omnipotent or omniscient and is without free agency so she is more a god in the Greco-Roman sense rather than the Abrahamic sense but even within that definition she seems less a god and more a figurehead of a church that she has no control over. She is a puppet (a pope-et? sorry) of an unknowable and powerful entity.
I hope this wasn’t too word salad-y and was at least comprehensible. I wish I had the time to make my ideas more cohesive but I thought I’d at least hopefully get a conversation starting and at the very least it’s nice to have something I can point to when the DLC comes out and I can see where I was right and wrong (I’d say very wrong).
If anyone reads this, please know that you are cool; this week’s winning lottery numbers are 8, 41, 33, 15, 6, 20; I hope you have a great day and remember to love yourself.
submitted by badd1e to Eldenring [link] [comments]
I’ve been thinking a lot of the portrait of the old man and young woman in the DLC trailer and it led me down a rabbit hole of theory crafting and I was wondering if anyone else shared these thoughts.
In short, if we are to presume the woman in the portrait is Marika then I posit that the man is her father and Messmer is the incestuous first-born child between them. In an effort to free herself from the trauma and abuse, she abandoned them and separated the Land of Shadow from the rest of reality. However, Messmer sided with his dad and stayed.
Now for a slightly more in-depth analysis.
In my opinion, the whole story of Elden Ring is essentially the tale of Marika and her desires and machinations to be free from the abuse, control and influence she has faced her whole life. This has been her primary motivation and all her different consorts/families are attempts to achieve that. Some are more successful than others. These were her tools as they were the only ones she was exposed to by a twisted father who had varying degrees of success in using her for his own ends (until he presumably faced his comeuppance what with the Great Rune-esque shit that’s impaling him).
Let’s quickly examine the families.
Godfrey:
Produced Morgott and Mohg, two Omen cursed offspring who were connections to the old world that Marika was escaping from and therefor shunned. Godwyn however was the apple of his mother’s eye but too enthralled by the Golden Order. She sends Godfrey away as perhaps he too was only using her to fulfil his own ambitions of conquest.
As Radagan with Rennala:
I imagine Radagan as a manifestation of her trauma and reluctance, or inability, to let go of it and move on (exhibited by his attempt at repairing the Elden Ring to restore order). Their children seem to be the ones most resistant to change (the exception being Ranni because she is fucking cool):
Radahn stalled the stars to stop them from them from claiming Ranni’s destiny. (also see Radahn’s reluctance to move on from his beloved horse when he literally outgrew him).
Rykard was so upset with the upending of the Golden Order and the debasement of the Shattering that it eventually led to him turning his back on the Greater Will and turned to blasphemy.
Ranni is their greatest triumph. She figured it out and was able to self-actualise and free herself from the Greater Will’s influence. However, Marika was not to know this yet and therefore tried again.
Radagan and Marika:
This was an attempt of self-sufficiency. By splitting in two she didn’t have to rely on outsiders and their own aspirations; however, the schism perhaps caused its own problems (e.g. Radagan’s doubt).
The children this produced were flawed physically but, on the surface, it would appear that they have the most free agency of all the children (again, with the exception of Ranni). Miquella formed his own damned tree while Malenia waged war with her siblings and none could stay in her path. However, look under the surface and you could argue that they aren’t as free as they appear to be and are actually beholden to each other (as well as their afflictions). Miquella is driven by his desire to cure his sister’s scarlet rot while Malenia is “the blade of Miquella”. However, I don’t think they consider the other as a burden and are driven by the love they share.
With all that in mind, this is my imagining of the before-times.
First was an abusive father. Perhaps Marika had been chosen as an Empyrean and he manipulated her to exert his will. The impregnation could be a means of this. If he produces a child with a god then he can manipulate that child to continue his dominance. Or perhaps he was an evil shit and impregnated Marika regardless of her Empyrean destiny.
Upon Marika’s apotheosis she sought the means to free herself from a life of subordination; first from her father (and perhaps the culture that created the conditions, hence the banishment of The Land of Shadow from the rest of the world) and secondly from the Greater Will that bestowed her this monkey’s paw of godhood.
Just a thought as an aside (I had nowhere else to put this). What makes Marika a god? She isn’t omnipotent or omniscient and is without free agency so she is more a god in the Greco-Roman sense rather than the Abrahamic sense but even within that definition she seems less a god and more a figurehead of a church that she has no control over. She is a puppet (a pope-et? sorry) of an unknowable and powerful entity.
I hope this wasn’t too word salad-y and was at least comprehensible. I wish I had the time to make my ideas more cohesive but I thought I’d at least hopefully get a conversation starting and at the very least it’s nice to have something I can point to when the DLC comes out and I can see where I was right and wrong (I’d say very wrong).
If anyone reads this, please know that you are cool; this week’s winning lottery numbers are 8, 41, 33, 15, 6, 20; I hope you have a great day and remember to love yourself.
2024.05.14 00:42 Lord_Blub some unorganized thoughts
21(I think) male (or at least amab) I'm not sure what to write but I wanna post something so I'm just vomiting some thoughts until I post or delete my draft again.
I'm not sure if I'm actually suicidal, or mentally ill at all but I think that's just the illness gaslighting me.
I know that I don't actually wanna die and it's fixable somehow but it feels so unrealistic. It's getting worse for the past few weeks/months and I know that I was happy to be alive before and probably will be when my depressive episode is over.
I know that I won't kill myself but I'm sad about that. a few weeks ago, I had a random wave of motivation so I visited the social worker at my school and got a list of therapists to call and a little script so I know what and how to say it (social anxiety) but I haven't done anything and my motivation is gone again. just asked a friend to call for me, maybe that's getting anywhere.
but I cannot imagine that it helps. right now, on an emotional level, I have no hope that it's getting better.
no hope for therapy, no courage to kill myself, it's a stalemate. I noticed that I care less about the future, so I live more and more like it's my last day and then have to deal with the consequences the next day. i stopped showering, brushing my teeth, eating healthy, i constantly go to bed way too late even tho I'm extremely tired all the time. it's not like I can't sleep, I just refuse to try.
maybe I just try to get more and more miserable until I'm finally able to kill myself.
I'm porn addicted and keep relapsing since my breakup one and a half months ago. I'm a feminist and hate the porn industry but I kinda stopped caring? I don't know if I could stop if I cared more or if I'm just addicted severely enough that I'm actually unable to.
I feel like I'm not allowed to feel this bad. I don't deserve depression, if you know what I mean. I didn't get traumatized (or just don't realize?), I was a social outcast but I have friends now, I don't struggle with money, in fact I am very privileged because my parents have a lot of money.
I do struggle with every day tasks tho (I think I have autism, adhd or both), maybe that's enough to hate being alive?
my original plan was a train, but I don't really wanna traumatize an innocent train conductor so maybe od? but I barely managed to get my hands on weed, I don't think I'm able to acquire lethal medications. also thought about guns, but I wouldn't know where to get those either. I recently read an autopsy report of someone who killed themselves by swallowing sodium hydroxide and it said that they died a few hours after digestion, even tho I'm a chemistry nerd, that sounds a bit too painful for a coward like me.
when I was in middle school, I spend some time on a suicide note but now I'm just tired of living so I don't bother with that, too much effort.
I think that my emotional bond with friends and family is the only thing keeping me alive, but maybe I'd still be too incompetent if I was alone.
submitted by Lord_Blub to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
I'm not sure if I'm actually suicidal, or mentally ill at all but I think that's just the illness gaslighting me.
I know that I don't actually wanna die and it's fixable somehow but it feels so unrealistic. It's getting worse for the past few weeks/months and I know that I was happy to be alive before and probably will be when my depressive episode is over.
I know that I won't kill myself but I'm sad about that. a few weeks ago, I had a random wave of motivation so I visited the social worker at my school and got a list of therapists to call and a little script so I know what and how to say it (social anxiety) but I haven't done anything and my motivation is gone again. just asked a friend to call for me, maybe that's getting anywhere.
but I cannot imagine that it helps. right now, on an emotional level, I have no hope that it's getting better.
no hope for therapy, no courage to kill myself, it's a stalemate. I noticed that I care less about the future, so I live more and more like it's my last day and then have to deal with the consequences the next day. i stopped showering, brushing my teeth, eating healthy, i constantly go to bed way too late even tho I'm extremely tired all the time. it's not like I can't sleep, I just refuse to try.
maybe I just try to get more and more miserable until I'm finally able to kill myself.
I'm porn addicted and keep relapsing since my breakup one and a half months ago. I'm a feminist and hate the porn industry but I kinda stopped caring? I don't know if I could stop if I cared more or if I'm just addicted severely enough that I'm actually unable to.
I feel like I'm not allowed to feel this bad. I don't deserve depression, if you know what I mean. I didn't get traumatized (or just don't realize?), I was a social outcast but I have friends now, I don't struggle with money, in fact I am very privileged because my parents have a lot of money.
I do struggle with every day tasks tho (I think I have autism, adhd or both), maybe that's enough to hate being alive?
my original plan was a train, but I don't really wanna traumatize an innocent train conductor so maybe od? but I barely managed to get my hands on weed, I don't think I'm able to acquire lethal medications. also thought about guns, but I wouldn't know where to get those either. I recently read an autopsy report of someone who killed themselves by swallowing sodium hydroxide and it said that they died a few hours after digestion, even tho I'm a chemistry nerd, that sounds a bit too painful for a coward like me.
when I was in middle school, I spend some time on a suicide note but now I'm just tired of living so I don't bother with that, too much effort.
I think that my emotional bond with friends and family is the only thing keeping me alive, but maybe I'd still be too incompetent if I was alone.
2024.05.14 00:41 IBrokeTheTV Career Crossroads: From Banking to Global Finance
I'm 22, just out of a decent university, but my grades weren't the top (3.0 gpa). For the past two years, I've been putting in around 25 hours a week at a small bank branch since my sophomore year. They've given me a bunch of important tasks like scheduling appointments and handling financial transactions, wires, accounts, safety deposit boxes, etc. I think I'm pretty good at what I do, and I pick things up quickly. People say I'm personable and great with clients. But I'll admit, I struggle with staying organized, and motivation can be a challenge sometimes.
Now I'm at a bit of a crossroads – deciding whether to stick with my part-time role at the bank or take on a full-time teller position. However, what I'm really passionate about is working in the international finance scene! I'm fluent in English and French, and I'm working on my Spanish because I have a real passion for languages. I have the legal right to work in the EU, which is where I'd like to start. But I'm also eyeing opportunities in growing African countries like Niger, Rwanda, or the Democratic Republic of Congo. Does anyone have any advice on how I can make this transition? Whether it's specific roles, companies, or licenses, I'm open to any suggestions that could help me chase my ambitions. Thanks in advance !!
submitted by IBrokeTheTV to FinancialCareers [link] [comments]
Now I'm at a bit of a crossroads – deciding whether to stick with my part-time role at the bank or take on a full-time teller position. However, what I'm really passionate about is working in the international finance scene! I'm fluent in English and French, and I'm working on my Spanish because I have a real passion for languages. I have the legal right to work in the EU, which is where I'd like to start. But I'm also eyeing opportunities in growing African countries like Niger, Rwanda, or the Democratic Republic of Congo. Does anyone have any advice on how I can make this transition? Whether it's specific roles, companies, or licenses, I'm open to any suggestions that could help me chase my ambitions. Thanks in advance !!
2024.05.14 00:36 Substantial_Plate993 Is this fair?
My friend posted here on October 2023, just after her Upwork account was suspended.
70-80% of the people here left hateful comments, accusing her of doing something wrong or cheating, and pretending not to know what happened. This really upset me because she was looking for support from fellow Upwork freelancers but got the opposite instead.
The problem is once your account is suspended, you're muted. You can't make your voice heard anywhere... you're ignored.
I created 3-4 posts on Upwork community on behalf her. The moderators gave copy-paste replies and closed the threads. They didn't allow other freelancers to comment.
Anyway, after 4-5 months (I guess on March 2024) of trying to reach Upwork support, my friend finally got a reply about the suspension. While you could say they were right to suspend her account, I don't think it was fair or ethical.
The reason was having multiple accounts.
At first, we didn't understand because she only had one account. Then, after digging a bit, she remembered that she had created her first account on 2018 (or earlier than that) just to check out Upwork. But then she never used it.
We met on 2020, and I was a 2 years Upwork freelancer. I told her that she can start Upwork, it's really good etc. She got motivated and created an account.
Over 3 years, she became Top-rated Plus and start to make a living. And as a side hustle, she started to teach Upwork to newbies.
Then, on September or early November 2023, there was a client requesting a full refund over a partially completed project. It was not fair to give a full refund. She recommended to give a partial refund for the incompleted part. However, client did not agreed which led to a dispute. Then both party provided the documents, screenshots etc. And client accepted the partial refund. The next day her account was suspended.
Because she had another account created some years ago although it was never used and never logged in after few days of creation.
Of course, Upwork TOS says that having multiple account is not allowed. But that account was never used and there was nothing intentional. I am sure it's pretty basic to check her login records of that account.
As mentioned above, after 4 months, someone from Upwork support told her the reason of suspension and told that they are willing to help and asked the account that she wants to be reinstated. She told the main account. Then they replied, they will get back, if not follow up with us.
After 10-15 follow up emails and few months no one replied back.
Not sure how to end this. Just wanted to share this fu*ked up story.
submitted by Substantial_Plate993 to Upwork [link] [comments]
70-80% of the people here left hateful comments, accusing her of doing something wrong or cheating, and pretending not to know what happened. This really upset me because she was looking for support from fellow Upwork freelancers but got the opposite instead.
The problem is once your account is suspended, you're muted. You can't make your voice heard anywhere... you're ignored.
I created 3-4 posts on Upwork community on behalf her. The moderators gave copy-paste replies and closed the threads. They didn't allow other freelancers to comment.
Anyway, after 4-5 months (I guess on March 2024) of trying to reach Upwork support, my friend finally got a reply about the suspension. While you could say they were right to suspend her account, I don't think it was fair or ethical.
The reason was having multiple accounts.
At first, we didn't understand because she only had one account. Then, after digging a bit, she remembered that she had created her first account on 2018 (or earlier than that) just to check out Upwork. But then she never used it.
We met on 2020, and I was a 2 years Upwork freelancer. I told her that she can start Upwork, it's really good etc. She got motivated and created an account.
Over 3 years, she became Top-rated Plus and start to make a living. And as a side hustle, she started to teach Upwork to newbies.
Then, on September or early November 2023, there was a client requesting a full refund over a partially completed project. It was not fair to give a full refund. She recommended to give a partial refund for the incompleted part. However, client did not agreed which led to a dispute. Then both party provided the documents, screenshots etc. And client accepted the partial refund. The next day her account was suspended.
Because she had another account created some years ago although it was never used and never logged in after few days of creation.
Of course, Upwork TOS says that having multiple account is not allowed. But that account was never used and there was nothing intentional. I am sure it's pretty basic to check her login records of that account.
As mentioned above, after 4 months, someone from Upwork support told her the reason of suspension and told that they are willing to help and asked the account that she wants to be reinstated. She told the main account. Then they replied, they will get back, if not follow up with us.
After 10-15 follow up emails and few months no one replied back.
Not sure how to end this. Just wanted to share this fu*ked up story.
2024.05.14 00:34 MistySpectre I put corn syrup and glitter on my friends’ car when they betrayed me
Sorry in advance for how long this is. I (19 F) am now in college but this story happened my senior year of high school when I was 18. My two closest friends at my school were twin sisters. Let’s call them Katherine and Olivia (both fake names). I had met Olivia at the beginning of my freshman year of high school when her sister Katherine introduced us. Olivia and I were inseparable and we did everything together. I was friends with Katherine too but not as close as I was with Olivia until our junior year of high school. There were some red flags in my friendship with these two that I see now looking back but was too naive to realize beforehand. For example, I went all out with gifts for them during holidays while they never got me anything in return. I would always show up for Katherine’s swim meets that she and Olivia invited me to come watch so that I could cheer on and support her. They never showed up for any of my horse shows that I would invite them to watch and always claimed to be busy (which I understand life can be busy). I know that may sound petty, but what I’m trying to say is that the effort I put into our friendship was never reciprocated. They would never show up for me or support me the way I did for them. They would also emotionally manipulate me but I won’t get into it because we’d be here all day. Anyway, at the end of spring break our senior year I get a long text message from Olivia who said she was ending her friendship with me. I won’t get into what the message contained but she essentially blamed me for a lot of issues she was having, was gaslighting me, and also lied to me by saying I was never there for her (which is crazy because that’s all I tried to do but she would always push me away). I get it, sharing emotions and being vulnerable can be scary but I always tried my best to support her and lift her up through difficult times. Katherine didn’t send a message but she followed her sister and stopped talking to me. I was absolutely heartbroken because I thought these girls were two of my best friends but then they throw me under the bus and treat me like I’m less than nothing. What hurt even worse is that I had previously opened up to them about some emotional trauma from being betrayed and abandoned by one of my closest friends in elementary school, and they told me that they would always be there for me no matter what. This caused me to fall into a deep hole of depression and I suffered from a lot of emotional trauma that I’m still learning to heal from today. I won’t get into it but I reached a point where I didn’t even want to be alive anymore (but don’t worry I got help and I’m happy to say I’m doing so much better today :) Eventually my sadness turned to anger for what they did to me and I had all of this rage that I had bottled up inside. However, these two didn’t know that I am EXTREMELY PETTY. I decided to get revenge for what they did to me by unleashing the ultimate petty lol. I thought through ideas until I eventually decided on the perfect plan. So I know where they live and I also know they keep their car outside of their garage. I snuck out of my house at 2:00 in the morning and put a crap ton of corn syrup and glitter as well as chocolate chips and rainbow sprinkles all over their car (I hope they had fun getting that off lmaooo). That stuff went absolutely everywhere too. I had previously done research to not damage their car as my goal was not to hurt anyone or damage any property but only be really annoying. I then snuck back home and went to bed. Later that morning my mom received a text message from their mom asking to meet up and talk. Now their parents are actually really nice people though. My mom agreed and met up with them at a coffee shop. My mom later told me about it. Her parents deadass asked my mom if I was the one who Willy Wonka’d their car lmao since they weren’t sure who else from our school knew their address besides me. Now my mom already knows how much those twins hurt and was my rock after they betrayed me. She denied that it was me and told their parents that I have grown stronger from their daughters’ kindness and also cruelty (which she said which they cringed at hahahahaha). I felt such a petty sense of satisfaction after this and I was then able to focus on my mental health after getting revenge. TLDR: Betray and hurt me after years of friendship? I will unleash a CandyLand STORM onto your vehicle. Also, if you twins are reading this (and you know who you are); yes it was me lmaooo I hope you had fun washing all of that off your car after. Fuck you both😂😂
submitted by MistySpectre to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 00:34 Switcheroo1474 Touhou Cast Discussion: Perfect Cherry Blossom Cast (+IaMP)
 | Perfect Cherry Blossom. This game is where Touhou starts feeling like, well, Touhou. While EoSD introduced the new setting of Gensokyo to the Touhou series, PCB is where the series starts defining it's world and it's lore. Having said that, how do the characters in this game stack up? Well that's what we're going to discuss today. submitted by Switcheroo1474 to touhou [link] [comments] Just a quick note. We'll also include Suika in this discussion. Even though Immaterial and Missing Power canonically takes place after Imperishable Night, the former is labeled as the 7.5th game in the series, as in, it's supposed to be a follow up to PCB. So I think it's fair game. So without further ado... Perfect Cherry Blossom Cast (from left to right): Lunasa Prismriver, Merlin Prismriver, Lyrica Prismriver, Yuyuko Saigyouji, Youmu Konpaku, Lily White, Suika Ibuki, Chen, Yukari Yakumo, Ran Yakumo, Letty Whiterock, Alice Margatroid (Art by Dairi) Letty Whiterock (What Winter Left Behind) A Yuki-onna who serves as this game's first boss. Letty is only seen during the winter; as spring arrives, Letty goes into hibernation. She's very cold towards humans, and is known to freeze any she comes across. My Thoughts: There isn't really much for me to say about my feelings towards Letty. She's a Yuki-onna who hangs out during the winter, and leaves during the following seasons. She's commonly depicted to be a guardian towards Cirno, despite canonically not liking being grouped with the ice fairy. Of course, I like to imagine that Letty is fine with Cirno and fine with being with her; It's just that she doesn't like being compared to Cirno, considering how weak fairies usually are in Touhou. Other than that, there's not much for me to say about Letty. You'll only get the chance to run into her at the beginning and end of each year, and that's about it. Fun Fact: Letty's name is actually a reference to Lettie Blacklock, a character from one of Agatha Christie's book: A Murder is Announced. Chen (Black Cat of Bad Omens) Chen is a nekomata youkai and the shikigami of Ran Yakumo. As Ran is also Yukari's shikigami, that means Chen is also subservient to Yukari as well. Chen is also very close friends with Rin Kaenbyou. The two are known to play often, and Chen even picked up the habit to offering corpses to Ran from Orin, much to the former's chagrin My Thoughts: I don't take as much of an interest in her as I do Ran or Yukari, but I still think Chen is an alright character. Thinking about it, I think Chen's song has the shortest loop of any stage boss theme in the series. It probably doesn't even take a minute to loop... Of course, having said that, while I am fine with Chen, I want to say that I really can't stand that one Chen joke. Y'know the one. The one where someone (usually Ran) yells Chen's name often accompanied by a nosebleed. It just get's very irritating, y'know? But putting that aside, like I said, Chen is an alright character to me. Alice Margatroid (Seven-Colored Puppeteer) A doll-controlling-magician who lives in the Forest of Magic. While aloof and self-confident, she's not above showing kindness towards others, as she's willing to let lost humans lodge at home for the night, and is willing (albeit reluctant) to help her neighbor and rival, Marisa Kirisame. My Thoughts: You might have noticed that I've been holding off on talking about her and Yuuka in the PC-98 discusion post. That's because I wanted to save them for each of their respective Windows debuts. Having said that, here's my view on Alice. As you may know, I'm not too crazy about Marisa or Patchouli. But out of the witch trio, I'd say I like Alice the most. Mostly for her personality. She's aloof, self-confident, and not afraid to speak her mind or battle someone if the challenge presents itself. But she's also timid, choosing to hold back out fear of what could happen if she were to lose while going all out. Above all, she's kind, and not afraid to helps others, especially if they're human. Don't get me wrong, she's no saint, but still, she's probably one of the kindest people you'll run into Gensokyo. Like with her fellow stage 3 boss, Meiling, it's honestly a crying shame that people misinterpret her in fan works, by either making her a Tsundere or even a Yandere for Marisa when Alice is so much more complex than that. Plus, some of Alice's more unpleasant traits usually surface when she's interacting with Marisa anyway. I'm not saying that they don't have some level of respect for each other. Canon has shown plenty of instances where they do. But still, you can't deny that Marisa usually brings out the worst in Alice. Lily White (Fairy Herald of Spring) The Mid Boss of Stage 4. Lily White is a fairy who heralds the coming of Spring. She's know to spray danmaku as she announces Spring's arrival, but it's more out of excitement than aggression. Lily is one of the friendliest characters in the Touhou series as well as one of the youkai who is the least hostile towards humans. My Thoughts: I got nothing. Her sole purpose is announcing the arrival of the vernal equinox and that's it. Also, Spring is somehow the best and worst season at the same time. The scenery in Springtime is absolutely gorgeous, especially in certain regions of the world. Plus the temperature in Spring usually just right. Not too hot like in the Summer, and not too cold like in the Winter. Now why is it also the worst? One word. Allergies. Having to deal with pollen in the air is the WORST. But now I'm just rambling on about Spring instead of Lily. Bottom of the line? Lily's not so noteworthy in my opinion. Also Lily Black is literally just Lily White but she's cosplaying as the Yama. Sooooo, yeah. Next. The Prismriver Sisters (Three Poltergeist Sisters) This trio of poltergeist sisters are skilled musicians who are popular among youkai. These poltergeist were created by Layla Prismriver, who based them off her late older sisters after their father, Count Prismriver, died in an accident. Even after the 4 sisters died, the poltergeists take refuge in their ancestral home to this day as they continue to hone their music skills. The sister in black is Lunasa. She's the oldest of the sisters and plays the violin. She's very calm and reserved, but also quite melancholic and pessimistic, due to her honest personality being taken advantage of in the past. The sister in white is Merlin. She's the middle sister and plays the trumpet. Merlin is very upbeat; she's never seen depressed. However, she does have a habit of becoming obsessed with anything she's interested in, to the point where it becomes a mania for her. The sister in red is Lyrica. She's the youngest of the sisters and plays the keyboard. Lyrica is very clever, but also very lazy. She prefers to try and get her to fight for her while she sits on the sidelines and snarks. My Thoughts: As a whole, I kinda like the idea of the Prismrivers. Three siblings who perform music together. Plus, personality-wise, they're pretty distinct from each other. I have heard some theories that in-universe, they're responsible for most of the songs you hear in Touhou Project. It's honestly quite an interesting explanation. The three are pretty close in my opinion, but if you were to ask how I'd rank them... I think I would say Lunasa, Lyrica, and finally Merlin. They're still all pretty good, even if none of them are one of my all time favorites of this game. Youmu Konpaku (Half-Human Half-Phantom Gardener) Youmu lives at Hakugyokurou, the shrine that oversees the Netherworld, and serves as Yuyuko's right-hand-woman, being a gardener, and swordplay instructor. Her two blades, Roukanken and Hakuroken, are said to be able to cut through almost anything as well as confusion, respectively. Youmu is straightforward, diligent, and loyal to her mistress, but said straightforwardness makes her easy to be manipulated by those around her, especially Yuyuko. My Thoughts: For a while, Youmu was my favorite character from PCB. If you don't count Reisen, then she's certainly my favorite out of the main human protagonists. And I still do like Youmu a lot! She's cute, she's cool, and she's also a bit of a dork who ironically is afraid of ghosts. The whole "cool" factor for Youmu might be played up a bit in fanon, but I personally don't find it a big deal. Plus it's usually not at the expense of any other particular characters in the series (*cough cough* Sakuya). Also, there is this one Touhou fan game (Koumajou Densetsu II: Stranger's Requiem) where she's voiced by Ryō Hirohashi, who, as you may know, is the current Japanese voice actress for Sonic the Hedgehog's Miles "Tails" Prower. What does this sorta minor fact about one fangame have to do with me liking Youmu? I don't know, but being a Sonic fan who also likes the fluffy little two-tailed furball, that fact just kind of appeals to me. Bottom-Line? I like Youmu. She's one of my favorite characters in the series, and for a while, I actually preferred her over her mistress, Yuyuko. Yuyuko Saigyouji (Ghost Girl in the Netherworld Tower) Yuyuko is the Ghost Princess of the Netherworld and an old friend of Yukari Yakumo. During her lifetime, Yuyuko possessed the power to control the spirits of the dead, however it eventually grew into the power to kill others with just a thought. Yuyuko was so terrified by this that she committed suicide. Despite her tragic past, Yuyuko is very cheerful, playful, and friendly, for a ghost. She's also a notorious glutton, and likes messing with her servant, Youmu. Though it's clearly all just in good fun. Despite her gluttonous and seemingly airheaded nature, however, Yuyuko is also capable of being extremely knowledgable and cunning. Possibly even more so than Yukari herself... My Thoughts: As I said, for a while, I did prefer Youmu over Yuyuko. But after a while, I think I actually prefer Yuyuko over Youmu now. They're both in my Top 10, don't get wrong. It's just that I think Yuyuko actually has more going for her in my opinion. Let me put it in this way. Yuyuko is the Epitome of Beauty. She has a beautiful design, a beautiful personality, beautifully graceful fighting style (see fighting game sprites), her song, Border of Life, is beautiful, and Yuyuko has one of the most beautifully tragic backstories in the series. I didn't really think too much of her before, but after thinking about it some more, I feel like Yuyuko could actually be one of my favorites in the series. Right up their with the likes of Meiling, Utsuho, and Reisen (more on the latter two later). It's just a shame that like with many of the characters in the series, Yuyuko suffers with the problem of flanderization. In her case it's focusing on her gluttonous trait. It can be funny at times, but still, there's more to Yuyuko than just eating anything and everything. Ran Yakumo (Shikigami of the Gap Youkai) Master of Chen and the Shikigami and Righthand Woman of Yukari Yakumo. Ran is a former resident of the Animal Realm and an associate of the notorious Yuuma Toutetsu before the latter become the leader of the Gouyoku Alliance. However, Ran started to become disgusted with the realm's beastly ideology and left for Gensokyo. Eventually Yukari found her, and the gap youkai made Ran her shikigami. Being a kitsune (or a shikigami possessing the body of a kitsune) that possesses a full set of nine tails, Ran is a very wise, old, and powerful youkai. She's powerful enough to have a shikigami of her own, Chen. My Thoughts: I didn't think too much about Ran before. I liked her design, but that was mostly due to me liking the aforementioned Tails from the Sonic Series who, as you may or may not know, is actually based off of the legendary kitsune. (I still like to joke about Ran being Tails' long lost ancestomother. Lol.) However, some time after UDoALG came out and expanded on her backstory, I think I've grown to like Ran much more. I think her history is Yuuma is interesting because of the possible scenarios you can make with them. What kind of scenarios? One word. ANGST. That might be a bit of an exaggeration, and I am sure that the two are still pretty close friends (at least I've read that Yuuma still treats her as such), but still whether you view them as former friends or even exes, the fact that they've gone in drastically different directions in life coupled with the fact that Yuuma is unrepentantly evil and (along with her rivals, Yachie and Saki) intends to conquer Gensokyo for herself which Yukari and Ran would not approve of, I can imagine it could cause a rift in the two's friendship. I just think it's interesting to explore the concept of how their circumstances could impact their relationship. As for Ran's theme, Necrofantasy. It pretty good, even if I prefer the theme most associate her with Charming Domination ~ Who Done It? (I personally associate with the Yakumo family as a whole), as well as Yukari's theme Necrofantasia (which is a remix of Necrofantasy). In the former's case, It has this sort of climatic feel to it; As if you're in the final stretch before facing off against Yukari, with just both of her shikigami's (or at least Ran) standing in your way. It's one of if not one of my favorite stage themes in all of Touhou, especially the PCB Version. Overall, Ran might be one my favorite characters from PCB, besides Yuyuko and Youmu. Yukari Yakumo (Youkai of Boundaries) A legendary youkai sage who serves as Ran and Chen's master and is able to manipulate boundaries. Her gaps allow her to travel almost anywhere, including the Outside World! Yukari is rather whimsical and lazy; She spends most of her time asleep, and in her waking hours, she likes to mess around with those around her. Despite this, Yukari is an extremely powerful youkai and is also very cunning. Because of how well informed she is, Yukari is a master planner, and is able to manipulate events and the people around her to get what she wants. Because of her unpredictable personality, many humans and youkai alike tend to avoid Yukari. Nobody knows what she will do next... My Thoughts: Yukari. Yukari, Yukari, Yukari... My feelings toward Yukari are... mixed to say the least. What do I mean by that? She somehow manages to be incredible (in terms of power), attractive, annoying, insufferable, and scary all at the same time. I'm not going to bother explaining that second thing, so let's talk everything else. I say she's incredible because she just goes to how powerful Touhou characters can get. Yukari isn't the MOST POWERFUL character ever to exist in fiction, or even the most powerful Touhou character, but she still comes very close to it. She's able to manipulate boundaries and borders. Do you know what that means? In a nutshell, it basically mean she can practically do whatever to heck she feels like. She's more or less a reality-warper. In a series where two vampire kids can manipulate fate and destroy absolutely anything, respectively, a ghost princess who can control death itself, a fairy tale princess who can manipulate eternity and the instantaneous, and a pet hell raven who make miniature stars, Yukari's ability is still pretty terrifying. I'm not saying all of Touhou's characters are nigh-unstoppable gods who can destroy anyone in a fight to the death, but still, and I say this as someone who watches Death Battle and has seen what kind of crazy stuff that characters it's featured can do, Yukari is the epitome of a cast whose more powerful characters are even capable of destroying most of Marvel, Dragon Ball, and even DC Comics casts, when they're at their fullest potential. Now how they'd fare against toons is another story entirely, but my point still stands. Why do I say Yukari is annoying and insufferable? Well, let's just say she's not exactly the best person to be around... She's lazy, she's a prankster, and when she isn't one of those two things, she most likely has an ulterior motive in mind for taking an interest in you; like you being a part of her plan or something. She's unpredictable, but I'd say that's the whole point of her character. She can easily alternate being the ultimate good in a situation and the ultimate evil in another. Of course, I will give her credit. Everything she does is for the good of Gensokyo and for maintaining it's balance. So... yeah. As reiterate my ultimate good and evil point, she's not this justice-upholding hero, but she's not some cold and heartless villain either. She's could afford to treat Ran better though... Above all though, when you think about it Yukari is actually pretty... terrifying. As I said, she's one of the most powerful characters in Touhou, and maybe even all of fiction. And even if she isn't the latter, she's smart and cunning enough to outwit beings who are stronger than her... she's also aware of everything that goes on in Gensokyo, and while I imagine it's not easy to do because of how carefree she usually is, crossing her is basically a death sentence, so you have to watch yourself if you happen to cross paths with her even if she starts to get on your nerves. As if that wasn't scary enough, thanks to her gaps, Yukari can go almost anywhere, including the Outside World. Of course, she's just a fictional character, so there's no way she could actually show up in the real world, but still, the idea that Yukari could very well show up where you live at literally anytime, is terrifying. Especially if you take one of ZUN's comments about her separating Gensokyo from the real world at face value. So what does all of THIS say about how I feel about Yukari? She's kinda weird. Her boss theme is pretty cool though. Suika Ibuki (Tiny Night Parade a Hundred Demons) Another old friend of Yukari's who has the ability to manipulate density. Suika is your typical oni. She has a love for drinking, partying, and fighting. She also possess the strength of an oni, being able to single handedly throw large boulders, and hates cowardice and dishonesty, even though she's slightly less honest than most oni. Suika herself is a happy-go-lucky fellow and can act as childish as she looks at times. However she's also very observant and can be rather critical of others at times. My Thoughts: I'll make this shorter. Between her, Yuugi, and Kasen, I say I prefer Suika the least. She's not a character I dislike, she's just not one I hold much interest in. I do like her theme from SWR, Broken Moon though. It's pretty groovy. Overall: I think PCB's cast is a step up from EoSD's. I don't really care too much for Letty or Lily, and Chen and IaMP debut, Suika, are just alright to me, but everyone else is a pretty interesting in their own right. Alice, The Prismrivers, Youmu, Yuyuko, Ran, and yes, even Yukari, have at least something about them that makes them pretty interesting to me, even if they're not a favorite of mine. I think overall, the PCB cast has this "je ne sais quoi" about them that I find very interesting. This game is where setting-wise, Touhou starts becoming more like "Touhou" as we know it, and I think these characters (at least most of them) really drive home that point.
Up next will be the cast for Imperishable Night. |
2024.05.14 00:32 GetOOFed1234 Account Breached (posting this as requested by my dad because his got deleted) [see body text and images]
![Account Breached (posting this as requested by my dad because his got deleted) [see body text and images]](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/zuTAZdqdK1g5C8EWR8cxn9uZ6gwwi4rDOVShREqP_PI.jpg "Account Breached (posting this as requested by my dad because his got deleted) [see body text and images]") | "Pretty interesting. This is literally the first time I ever posted a post in reddit so please excuse me. FYSA. No idea if this is related to this post I just saw 30min ago: https://www.reddit.com/pokemongo/comments/1covmv1/how_true_is_this_leak/ submitted by GetOOFed1234 to pokemongo [link] [comments] Context: Me and my spouse started playing PoGo 2 weeks ago, I played for a single day back in 2016, and had access to the same account. On 11MAY2024 around 1100 CST, I tried logging onto PoGo and received screen that my account was permanently banned out of nowhere [Lets name this Account_1@gmail.com]. I have not used any sort of cheat, I only play this game with my wife whenever we go on a trail or grocery shopping. Rather, I paid $10-ish to change my gym (?) to be the same as my wife's so we can raid together. I didn't know how raid worked so I initially had a different team. It would be silly for me to pay real money in-game and also use cheat, imo. Subsequently, I received an email that my account has been submitted for deletion. At this point, I thought this was an automatic process after my account was banned. I was initially upset that I was randomly banned, requested Niantic what ToS I violated, if there were any. Received what seems like a template response that answered nothing. 2 days ago, I made a new PoGo account [Account_2@gmail.com] while hoping my first account would be unbanned. This morning (13MAY2024) around 1030 CST, all my Pokemons are transferred into candies. I didn't have any rare pokemon so that was not the issue, but the issue is that my account was breached, and at this point I made a connection that this could be the same reason my first account was banned, and that the deletion process may not be automatic. The twist, I work for a 3-lettered organization specializing in cyber. Brought this matter to couple of my colleagues and came up with few theories and additional questions. Here's the note below. Account_1@gmail.com "Permanently Banned" Account deleted. See attached image. Account_2@gmail.com All Pokemon Transferred Account accessed? Both have different passwords. Account_1 has 2-factor authentication, Account_2 does not. Did this result in the differing actions? (Deletion vs Transferred pokemons/Different actors?) Both account's gmail received notification "Pokemon GO was granted access to your Google account" from "IPhone" in "Texas" prior to activity. (Account_1 = 1 day prior, Account_2 = 15min prior to log-in) Account Deletion request requires Niantic sending an email with a "Code" to reply back with. The said code is STATIC. Amazingly, it does not change regardless of who submits it. Its the same code for everyone. Theoretically, a spoofed email address sending the code to Niantic will complete the delete process. Second, the *Username does not matter in the Account Deletion form. I can literally name it anything. Cannot test as this is beyond jurisdiction. Question still to be answered: How was the email account leaked? Was it leaked/breached? Why was Pokemon Go specifically targeted (If credentials were compromised, why was this the "first" target out of say, my banking apps?). Either the actor is trying to get my attention (unlikely as there's no benefit, or the actor is only capable of attacking through PoGo app) Account_2@gmail.com's PoGo is assumed to be breached completely if Pokemon was "transferred" I can try to sniff the network traffic from the app to see if credentials are being sent in cleartext, but I'm starting to lose interest and am considering just deleting the app. I attempted to notify Niantic but amazingly just received the same template response when my account was banned. Maybe this info will help someone else, possibly research further but it'll be in the backburner." |
2024.05.14 00:23 Alice-Lapine My Husband Helped Me Exit QAnon in 2020. Here’s His Advice.
(Also posted in QAnonCasualties)
The first critical question to answer for yourself is: ‘How important is this relationship to me?’ If this is a relationship that you feel strongly you want to save, then you can do that. It will require putting some of your own beliefs aside—at least for the time being—so you don’t spend precious energy arguing about things you clearly disagree about.
Patience is key. This may be a phase, and this may be long term—even a forever shift. You just can’t know. I was advised to contemplate this two ways:
One: Think of this akin to something far less contentious, like a nonreligious person finding Jesus and becoming a Born Again Christian or embracing some other evangelical belief system. Once converted, the world is different for them. They see reality through a different lens, and no matter how hard you try you will NOT shift their view. So don’t even try. You have to accept that this is their view, and no amount of logic, science, pleasing, or anything else will change their mind.
Two: The second way of thinking about this is as an illness or an injury. Some would say falling down this rabbit hole is similar to a psychotic break. Taking that view, how would you show up for your fiancé if he broke his leg or had a head injury? Show up the same. Be loving. Be caring. Stay close so he doesn’t hurt himself or others, and be his protector to the extent he will allow it. Encourage him to be reflective enough not to make decisions or take actions that can have significant negative consequences while he is in an alternative reality or ungrounded state.
Next, if you want to work this through, here are some keywords that may become your gospel: patience, curiosity, balance, love, and support.
Curiosity: This was a hard one for me, but I signed on to it and did my best. Essentially, put your mind in a place of childlike curiosity. I had to constantly remind myself that no one really knows the objective truth. No one has enough information to be absolutely sure of their position. Therefore, can you leave room in your mind for the potential that what you have come to believe may not be so? If you can hold that and then listen to your beloved with curiosity, that will go a long way. I would also make an agreement with him—that he should not be seeking to change your views just as you commit not to try and change his. You will simply agree to share information with each other, but not debate.
Balance: I suspect your fiancé is deep in the rabbit hole and for him there is little else to focus on. It is almost a compulsive disorder. It is designed to be addictive. I suggest working hard to get him to focus on being present in life with you, focusing on aspects of being alive that are happening here and now. What do you enjoy doing together? What projects are important? What activities that have nothing to do with being online are essential to your well-being and enjoyment of life?
The discussion of beliefs and time spent ‘doing research’ needs to be limited to maybe one to two hours a day. Encourage him to stay aware of how his time spent scrolling online is taking away from his life, including connection with you, family, career productivity, etc. See if you can motivate and inspire him to strike a balance. That needs to be his commitment; to maintain balance and well-being in his own life, and to give energy and attention to nurturing your relationship together. Again, your work is to meet him with curiosity—to accept where he is at, rather than reacting to and judging him.
Love: Focus on your love and your dreams for your future. Remind him why the two of you have chosen each other. All of that still exists. It has been overshadowed by Q, but it is still there, and the balance will hopefully bring him back to remembering.
In the end, I needed to accept that my beloved might never come back to her old self. I needed to see if I could find a way for life to be good even if that was the case. I gave myself six months to see if we could find our way through, but I did not tell her. In that time, I needed to prove to myself that life with her could still be good. During that time, I fervently hoped she would return to the Alicia I remembered. I feel fortunate beyond words that she ‘came around’ almost exactly six months after she went down the rabbit hole. However, if she hadn’t, we had still worked out a way to be together. But life is much better with her back out of the rabbit hole.
Support: Find a network of people to support you. This will be very hard on you. And you want to show up as best you can—and so you need to have people you can turn to for strength, compassion, empathy, and the occasional shoulder to cry on. Find people who care about both of you, who will not judge him for his new beliefs but can have some understanding for the fact that this trap has pulled hundreds of thousands of people into it. Many good-hearted, intelligent people with the best of intentions have unwittingly slid down the rabbit hole, and once you are in, no one on the outside can save you. You have to get yourself out. Best to find support people who can have compassion for both of you, as judgment will likely drive him further away.
Friends, family, and my therapist were all important to our success, and I am indebted to their patience with me.
submitted by Alice-Lapine to ReQovery [link] [comments]
The first critical question to answer for yourself is: ‘How important is this relationship to me?’ If this is a relationship that you feel strongly you want to save, then you can do that. It will require putting some of your own beliefs aside—at least for the time being—so you don’t spend precious energy arguing about things you clearly disagree about.
Patience is key. This may be a phase, and this may be long term—even a forever shift. You just can’t know. I was advised to contemplate this two ways:
One: Think of this akin to something far less contentious, like a nonreligious person finding Jesus and becoming a Born Again Christian or embracing some other evangelical belief system. Once converted, the world is different for them. They see reality through a different lens, and no matter how hard you try you will NOT shift their view. So don’t even try. You have to accept that this is their view, and no amount of logic, science, pleasing, or anything else will change their mind.
Two: The second way of thinking about this is as an illness or an injury. Some would say falling down this rabbit hole is similar to a psychotic break. Taking that view, how would you show up for your fiancé if he broke his leg or had a head injury? Show up the same. Be loving. Be caring. Stay close so he doesn’t hurt himself or others, and be his protector to the extent he will allow it. Encourage him to be reflective enough not to make decisions or take actions that can have significant negative consequences while he is in an alternative reality or ungrounded state.
Next, if you want to work this through, here are some keywords that may become your gospel: patience, curiosity, balance, love, and support.
Curiosity: This was a hard one for me, but I signed on to it and did my best. Essentially, put your mind in a place of childlike curiosity. I had to constantly remind myself that no one really knows the objective truth. No one has enough information to be absolutely sure of their position. Therefore, can you leave room in your mind for the potential that what you have come to believe may not be so? If you can hold that and then listen to your beloved with curiosity, that will go a long way. I would also make an agreement with him—that he should not be seeking to change your views just as you commit not to try and change his. You will simply agree to share information with each other, but not debate.
Balance: I suspect your fiancé is deep in the rabbit hole and for him there is little else to focus on. It is almost a compulsive disorder. It is designed to be addictive. I suggest working hard to get him to focus on being present in life with you, focusing on aspects of being alive that are happening here and now. What do you enjoy doing together? What projects are important? What activities that have nothing to do with being online are essential to your well-being and enjoyment of life?
The discussion of beliefs and time spent ‘doing research’ needs to be limited to maybe one to two hours a day. Encourage him to stay aware of how his time spent scrolling online is taking away from his life, including connection with you, family, career productivity, etc. See if you can motivate and inspire him to strike a balance. That needs to be his commitment; to maintain balance and well-being in his own life, and to give energy and attention to nurturing your relationship together. Again, your work is to meet him with curiosity—to accept where he is at, rather than reacting to and judging him.
Love: Focus on your love and your dreams for your future. Remind him why the two of you have chosen each other. All of that still exists. It has been overshadowed by Q, but it is still there, and the balance will hopefully bring him back to remembering.
In the end, I needed to accept that my beloved might never come back to her old self. I needed to see if I could find a way for life to be good even if that was the case. I gave myself six months to see if we could find our way through, but I did not tell her. In that time, I needed to prove to myself that life with her could still be good. During that time, I fervently hoped she would return to the Alicia I remembered. I feel fortunate beyond words that she ‘came around’ almost exactly six months after she went down the rabbit hole. However, if she hadn’t, we had still worked out a way to be together. But life is much better with her back out of the rabbit hole.
Support: Find a network of people to support you. This will be very hard on you. And you want to show up as best you can—and so you need to have people you can turn to for strength, compassion, empathy, and the occasional shoulder to cry on. Find people who care about both of you, who will not judge him for his new beliefs but can have some understanding for the fact that this trap has pulled hundreds of thousands of people into it. Many good-hearted, intelligent people with the best of intentions have unwittingly slid down the rabbit hole, and once you are in, no one on the outside can save you. You have to get yourself out. Best to find support people who can have compassion for both of you, as judgment will likely drive him further away.
Friends, family, and my therapist were all important to our success, and I am indebted to their patience with me.
2024.05.14 00:23 TheGentlemanBirb I broke my own friend group from actions I have done.
TLDR; I ruined my friend group and am left alone by asking a friend out for nudes, overreacting by attempting suicide, and ruining another friends birthday. I just need some relief, even if that relief comes with harsh advice and opinions. Currently seeing a therapist.
Sorry for the long post.
So just as the title says, I ruined my own friend group due to my own actions and choices. So to start, I had a friend of mine (Alias: Sarah, not real name) that was coming over to visit in my location. We were friends for 8+ years along with another group of friends. We were all pretty close to each other, and she was just visiting to catch up since it's been a while since she saw any of us.
Back in highschool, I had a huge crush on her that never came to fruition. To the point where she was all I could think about even though I know it's unhealthy and I needed to be able to move on. So I moved schools to try and clear my head of her, and she moved back to her home town. We managed to stay in touch in spite of that, and I fortunately moved on from her.
In present day, we did our usual thing of hanging out and chilling within the friend group for about 1 month. Another friend of mine in the group (Alias: Steven) had his birthday coming up in February and Sarah was extremely excited since back in highschool, they were relatively close and she wanted to plan a whole birthday party for him. It was an exciting time coming up. Or at least it should have been. I started to develop feelings for her again, unknowingly at the time.
Later, Sarah invited me to discuss plans for his birthday since she didn't really keep in touch with him since he was always busy. After a while, we decided to play a game and chat. During that chat, I admitted to liking her and did something deplorable and asked her for nudes. I don't know why I did it, I have no prior history of doing this, and I thought that I had gotten over her. I have no excuse either. I also said this while also knowing that she recently dumped her boyfriend when she came over here to my location. Again, I feel ashamed. Surprisingly, she continued playing with me and didn't say anything about it. But I could tell she was uncomfortable as we continued to talk.
A day later, we had a chat about how I made her uncomfortable and how she was both surprised and disappointed in me when I said what I said. She still wanted to hang out with the friend group so, we all hung out a week later and tried to act like nothing happened as we still prepared for Stevens birthday. Though it was obvious to everyone that me and her had a bit of a strained relationship. Making the whole trip uncomfortable. I probably would have declined going if I wasn't the designated driver and was the only one who owned a car at the time.
I messaged her later, and she messaged back that it might be best that she separated herself from the group. Initially I managed to keep my cool and messaged her that I respected her boundaries. Though outside of that text, I was breaking down. It didn't make sense to me since I wanted to respect her boundaries and I understood why she needed to step away. A couple of days later, I couldn't handle my emotions and overreacted and messaged the whole friend group and Sarah that I was gonna kill myself. And spent a week in the psychward before being released.
Of course, my friends were concerned and reached out to me, hoping I was ok, especially since I had a history of suicide attempts. I acted immaturely and shut myself in my house. 2 months later, I messaged Sarah first. Not my other close friends, but Sarah. And asked how she was doing. After a bit of time, of trying to reach her, I asked if she still wanted to be friends even if our relationship wasn't going to be the same. Understandably, she stated that she would be uncomfortable with that and wanted to maintain her boundaries. I didn't lash out on her or anything like that, but I did ask if there was any way for her to forgive. She said she didn't hate me and genuinely wishes that I get better. I simply said my condolences and thank you. But I was still breaking.
I immediately messaged another person in the friend group (Kyle) and he tried his best to comfort me, saying things like "You'll need to start accepting yourself" and "It'll be hard and may take months to years, but you gotta hold on." I lashed out on him despite him trying his best to give me advice and what not. I didn't even apologize to him until a week later. Though, I assume the damage has been done and our contact lessened since then. Including the whole friend group. Honestly, I should have apologized to the whole friend for my actions. Especially Steven since he had his birthday ruined from a suicide attempt and no party. But the damage was already done.
I regret every bit of what happened, and for the past few months since then, it's been eating me alive. I've stayed unemployed and lived off my savings. I can barely even find the motivation to even try to find a job. I'm currently seeing a therapist for this since I lost my friend group, and I started to harm myself since the whole incident. I'm not really looking for justification since I know I was in the wrong. I wouldn't accept it anyway if anyone said otherwise. But part of me wants relief, even if it comes from strangers from the internet.
I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for the whole thing. I even had the gall to message my former friend group again this month if they wanted to hang out. I got ghosted of course or simply said they were busy. Made me question if I should even be associated with anyone if I could cause relationships to break up this badly. I know the best course of action should be that I should reach out to new people to take my mind off things, but I can barely find the motivation to try. Plus since I'm not working, I can't really afford to head out. This whole post is just me beating myself up (Literally and metaphorically), which doesn't help, but I'm for sure a dumbass. And I'm just trying to recover. I became a complete shut in for the past few months and it's not healthy nor mature. But I'm at a loss of what to do. My therapist is more so trying to figure out the history behind why I acted the way I did, since my childhood has been trauma free for the most part. I honestly feel like it's the end of the world, even though I know it's not and I could just treat this as a lesson.
submitted by TheGentlemanBirb to lonely [link] [comments]
Sorry for the long post.
Back in highschool, I had a huge crush on her that never came to fruition. To the point where she was all I could think about even though I know it's unhealthy and I needed to be able to move on. So I moved schools to try and clear my head of her, and she moved back to her home town. We managed to stay in touch in spite of that, and I fortunately moved on from her.
In present day, we did our usual thing of hanging out and chilling within the friend group for about 1 month. Another friend of mine in the group (Alias: Steven) had his birthday coming up in February and Sarah was extremely excited since back in highschool, they were relatively close and she wanted to plan a whole birthday party for him. It was an exciting time coming up. Or at least it should have been. I started to develop feelings for her again, unknowingly at the time.
Later, Sarah invited me to discuss plans for his birthday since she didn't really keep in touch with him since he was always busy. After a while, we decided to play a game and chat. During that chat, I admitted to liking her and did something deplorable and asked her for nudes. I don't know why I did it, I have no prior history of doing this, and I thought that I had gotten over her. I have no excuse either. I also said this while also knowing that she recently dumped her boyfriend when she came over here to my location. Again, I feel ashamed. Surprisingly, she continued playing with me and didn't say anything about it. But I could tell she was uncomfortable as we continued to talk.
A day later, we had a chat about how I made her uncomfortable and how she was both surprised and disappointed in me when I said what I said. She still wanted to hang out with the friend group so, we all hung out a week later and tried to act like nothing happened as we still prepared for Stevens birthday. Though it was obvious to everyone that me and her had a bit of a strained relationship. Making the whole trip uncomfortable. I probably would have declined going if I wasn't the designated driver and was the only one who owned a car at the time.
I messaged her later, and she messaged back that it might be best that she separated herself from the group. Initially I managed to keep my cool and messaged her that I respected her boundaries. Though outside of that text, I was breaking down. It didn't make sense to me since I wanted to respect her boundaries and I understood why she needed to step away. A couple of days later, I couldn't handle my emotions and overreacted and messaged the whole friend group and Sarah that I was gonna kill myself. And spent a week in the psychward before being released.
Of course, my friends were concerned and reached out to me, hoping I was ok, especially since I had a history of suicide attempts. I acted immaturely and shut myself in my house. 2 months later, I messaged Sarah first. Not my other close friends, but Sarah. And asked how she was doing. After a bit of time, of trying to reach her, I asked if she still wanted to be friends even if our relationship wasn't going to be the same. Understandably, she stated that she would be uncomfortable with that and wanted to maintain her boundaries. I didn't lash out on her or anything like that, but I did ask if there was any way for her to forgive. She said she didn't hate me and genuinely wishes that I get better. I simply said my condolences and thank you. But I was still breaking.
I immediately messaged another person in the friend group (Kyle) and he tried his best to comfort me, saying things like "You'll need to start accepting yourself" and "It'll be hard and may take months to years, but you gotta hold on." I lashed out on him despite him trying his best to give me advice and what not. I didn't even apologize to him until a week later. Though, I assume the damage has been done and our contact lessened since then. Including the whole friend group. Honestly, I should have apologized to the whole friend for my actions. Especially Steven since he had his birthday ruined from a suicide attempt and no party. But the damage was already done.
I regret every bit of what happened, and for the past few months since then, it's been eating me alive. I've stayed unemployed and lived off my savings. I can barely even find the motivation to even try to find a job. I'm currently seeing a therapist for this since I lost my friend group, and I started to harm myself since the whole incident. I'm not really looking for justification since I know I was in the wrong. I wouldn't accept it anyway if anyone said otherwise. But part of me wants relief, even if it comes from strangers from the internet.
I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for the whole thing. I even had the gall to message my former friend group again this month if they wanted to hang out. I got ghosted of course or simply said they were busy. Made me question if I should even be associated with anyone if I could cause relationships to break up this badly. I know the best course of action should be that I should reach out to new people to take my mind off things, but I can barely find the motivation to try. Plus since I'm not working, I can't really afford to head out. This whole post is just me beating myself up (Literally and metaphorically), which doesn't help, but I'm for sure a dumbass. And I'm just trying to recover. I became a complete shut in for the past few months and it's not healthy nor mature. But I'm at a loss of what to do. My therapist is more so trying to figure out the history behind why I acted the way I did, since my childhood has been trauma free for the most part. I honestly feel like it's the end of the world, even though I know it's not and I could just treat this as a lesson.
2024.05.14 00:21 Alice-Lapine My Husband Helped Me Exit QAnon in 2020. Here’s His Advice
(This is also a snippet from the book I will be publishing soon about my whole QAnon experience from falling in to getting out to the process of recovery.)
From my husband -
The first critical question to answer for yourself is: ‘How important is this relationship to me?’ If this is a relationship that you feel strongly you want to save, then you can do that. It will require putting some of your own beliefs aside—at least for the time being—so you don’t spend precious energy arguing about things you clearly disagree about.
Patience is key. This may be a phase, and this may be long term—even a forever shift. You just can’t know. I was advised to contemplate this two ways:
One: Think of this akin to something far less contentious, like a nonreligious person finding Jesus and becoming a Born Again Christian or embracing some other evangelical belief system. Once converted, the world is different for them. They see reality through a different lens, and no matter how hard you try you will NOT shift their view. So don’t even try. You have to accept that this is their view, and no amount of logic, science, pleasing, or anything else will change their mind.
Two: The second way of thinking about this is as an illness or an injury. Some would say falling down this rabbit hole is similar to a psychotic break. Taking that view, how would you show up for your fiancé if he broke his leg or had a head injury? Show up the same. Be loving. Be caring. Stay close so he doesn’t hurt himself or others, and be his protector to the extent he will allow it. Encourage him to be reflective enough not to make decisions or take actions that can have significant negative consequences while he is in an alternative reality or ungrounded state.
Next, if you want to work this through, here are some keywords that may become your gospel: patience, curiosity, balance, love, and support.
Curiosity: This was a hard one for me, but I signed on to it and did my best. Essentially, put your mind in a place of childlike curiosity. I had to constantly remind myself that no one really knows the objective truth. No one has enough information to be absolutely sure of their position. Therefore, can you leave room in your mind for the potential that what you have come to believe may not be so? If you can hold that and then listen to your beloved with curiosity, that will go a long way. I would also make an agreement with him—that he should not be seeking to change your views just as you commit not to try and change his. You will simply agree to share information with each other, but not debate.
Balance: I suspect your fiancé is deep in the rabbit hole and for him there is little else to focus on. It is almost a compulsive disorder. It is designed to be addictive. I suggest working hard to get him to focus on being present in life with you, focusing on aspects of being alive that are happening here and now. What do you enjoy doing together? What projects are important? What activities that have nothing to do with being online are essential to your well-being and enjoyment of life?
The discussion of beliefs and time spent ‘doing research’ needs to be limited to maybe one to two hours a day. Encourage him to stay aware of how his time spent scrolling online is taking away from his life, including connection with you, family, career productivity, etc. See if you can motivate and inspire him to strike a balance. That needs to be his commitment; to maintain balance and well-being in his own life, and to give energy and attention to nurturing your relationship together. Again, your work is to meet him with curiosity—to accept where he is at, rather than reacting to and judging him.
Love: Focus on your love and your dreams for your future. Remind him why the two of you have chosen each other. All of that still exists. It has been overshadowed by Q, but it is still there, and the balance will hopefully bring him back to remembering.
In the end, I needed to accept that my beloved might never come back to her old self. I needed to see if I could find a way for life to be good even if that was the case. I gave myself six months to see if we could find our way through, but I did not tell her. In that time, I needed to prove to myself that life with her could still be good. During that time, I fervently hoped she would return to the Alicia I remembered. I feel fortunate beyond words that she ‘came around’ almost exactly six months after she went down the rabbit hole. However, if she hadn’t, we had still worked out a way to be together. But life is much better with her back out of the rabbit hole.
Support: Find a network of people to support you. This will be very hard on you. And you want to show up as best you can—and so you need to have people you can turn to for strength, compassion, empathy, and the occasional shoulder to cry on. Find people who care about both of you, who will not judge him for his new beliefs but can have some understanding for the fact that this trap has pulled hundreds of thousands of people into it. Many good-hearted, intelligent people with the best of intentions have unwittingly slid down the rabbit hole, and once you are in, no one on the outside can save you. You have to get yourself out. Best to find support people who can have compassion for both of you, as judgment will likely drive him further away.
Friends, family, and my therapist were all important to our success, and I am indebted to their patience with me.
submitted by Alice-Lapine to QAnonCasualties [link] [comments]
From my husband -
The first critical question to answer for yourself is: ‘How important is this relationship to me?’ If this is a relationship that you feel strongly you want to save, then you can do that. It will require putting some of your own beliefs aside—at least for the time being—so you don’t spend precious energy arguing about things you clearly disagree about.
Patience is key. This may be a phase, and this may be long term—even a forever shift. You just can’t know. I was advised to contemplate this two ways:
One: Think of this akin to something far less contentious, like a nonreligious person finding Jesus and becoming a Born Again Christian or embracing some other evangelical belief system. Once converted, the world is different for them. They see reality through a different lens, and no matter how hard you try you will NOT shift their view. So don’t even try. You have to accept that this is their view, and no amount of logic, science, pleasing, or anything else will change their mind.
Two: The second way of thinking about this is as an illness or an injury. Some would say falling down this rabbit hole is similar to a psychotic break. Taking that view, how would you show up for your fiancé if he broke his leg or had a head injury? Show up the same. Be loving. Be caring. Stay close so he doesn’t hurt himself or others, and be his protector to the extent he will allow it. Encourage him to be reflective enough not to make decisions or take actions that can have significant negative consequences while he is in an alternative reality or ungrounded state.
Next, if you want to work this through, here are some keywords that may become your gospel: patience, curiosity, balance, love, and support.
Curiosity: This was a hard one for me, but I signed on to it and did my best. Essentially, put your mind in a place of childlike curiosity. I had to constantly remind myself that no one really knows the objective truth. No one has enough information to be absolutely sure of their position. Therefore, can you leave room in your mind for the potential that what you have come to believe may not be so? If you can hold that and then listen to your beloved with curiosity, that will go a long way. I would also make an agreement with him—that he should not be seeking to change your views just as you commit not to try and change his. You will simply agree to share information with each other, but not debate.
Balance: I suspect your fiancé is deep in the rabbit hole and for him there is little else to focus on. It is almost a compulsive disorder. It is designed to be addictive. I suggest working hard to get him to focus on being present in life with you, focusing on aspects of being alive that are happening here and now. What do you enjoy doing together? What projects are important? What activities that have nothing to do with being online are essential to your well-being and enjoyment of life?
The discussion of beliefs and time spent ‘doing research’ needs to be limited to maybe one to two hours a day. Encourage him to stay aware of how his time spent scrolling online is taking away from his life, including connection with you, family, career productivity, etc. See if you can motivate and inspire him to strike a balance. That needs to be his commitment; to maintain balance and well-being in his own life, and to give energy and attention to nurturing your relationship together. Again, your work is to meet him with curiosity—to accept where he is at, rather than reacting to and judging him.
Love: Focus on your love and your dreams for your future. Remind him why the two of you have chosen each other. All of that still exists. It has been overshadowed by Q, but it is still there, and the balance will hopefully bring him back to remembering.
In the end, I needed to accept that my beloved might never come back to her old self. I needed to see if I could find a way for life to be good even if that was the case. I gave myself six months to see if we could find our way through, but I did not tell her. In that time, I needed to prove to myself that life with her could still be good. During that time, I fervently hoped she would return to the Alicia I remembered. I feel fortunate beyond words that she ‘came around’ almost exactly six months after she went down the rabbit hole. However, if she hadn’t, we had still worked out a way to be together. But life is much better with her back out of the rabbit hole.
Support: Find a network of people to support you. This will be very hard on you. And you want to show up as best you can—and so you need to have people you can turn to for strength, compassion, empathy, and the occasional shoulder to cry on. Find people who care about both of you, who will not judge him for his new beliefs but can have some understanding for the fact that this trap has pulled hundreds of thousands of people into it. Many good-hearted, intelligent people with the best of intentions have unwittingly slid down the rabbit hole, and once you are in, no one on the outside can save you. You have to get yourself out. Best to find support people who can have compassion for both of you, as judgment will likely drive him further away.
Friends, family, and my therapist were all important to our success, and I am indebted to their patience with me.
2024.05.14 00:17 Worldly_Living_510 HELP! Creepy thing going on in my SMP and nobody knows what it is
 | Please take a moment to read this post, i desperately need answers. submitted by Worldly_Living_510 to Minecraft [link] [comments] Around a month ago me and my friends started a JAVA minecraft server. everything was fine until around two days ago. There are only 5 of us that play on it (2 inactive) I think I should start with the very beginning. My friend "Joe" (fake name) was just walking around doing his thing when suddenly he got the words "Search" in the chat. At first he brushed it off and forgot about it, but he realized that every time that he went over this specific spot the words "search" was sent in the chat. This happened while nobody was in the server, and it wasnt attached to dialogue, it was simply the word "search". he wrote the cords down and shared it with us. a day later i decided to go to the cords and was met with an eerie cave thing when i dug down. inside that cave i was met with chests and a barrel, along with a sign. the sing i will address later... In a barrel towards the end of the cave thing was a book. The book was titled "Jo*rn**l" and was singed "em*et* wo**st*ck" this freaked me out because with my knowledge of minecraft books are automatically signed by your username, and you cannot prevent that. Here i have a clip of me reading out loud this journal. https://outplayed.tv/media/BmYwrO This is my analysis of it. https://outplayed.tv/media/52w0Wz The sign in the cave said "that damned altar is further down. I destroyed its path" After seeing this sign i dug around in random holes and found nothing, however when i dug a small 2x1 tunnel forward from the barrel where i found the book there was a cave. the cave was lit with torches. joe claims he did not loot this cave, and neither did i At first me and Joe pointed the blame to my other friend, gabe. gabehas had experience with command blocks before, and we know that if a player were to do this, with the chat messages and the book and everything you would need a command block. In order to get a command block you need admin, however. Joe never gave gabe admin, and joe never spawned a command block. i would also like to say that ive known joe for almost 4 years now and i know he is NOT the type of person to put this much effort into a video game prank. He also does not know anything about command blocks and does not really have the talent to make such an elaborate puzzle. I would also like to point out that there is a perfectly carved tunnel that leads from an entrance of the ravine into this cave. (https://outplayed.tv/media/Re5M13) (ignore buckshot roulette in the background) we withheld this information from gabe out of suspicion until the next day (yesterday) yesterday inside of his base, when entering gabes storage room joe got another "search" alert... just it was much more obvious than a chat message. instead he got a large text upon the middle of his screen saying "search lower". this time he took a screenshot https://preview.redd.it/6drni6r1n90d1.png?width=2094&format=png&auto=webp&s=fc2bdeaa23673462eeece3d38d0f9c5f7f930fd8 https://preview.redd.it/93lquj1hq90d1.png?width=2094&format=png&auto=webp&s=06c52bdbc62931cfd45ed3546e8560096cbe14d5 we forgot about this for a couple of hours until suddenly joe suddenly started saying "oh my god, oh my god i think i found something.". I immediately came over. Gabe had previously dug out a little area in our community villager center for some project he had and we found this: https://outplayed.tv/media/zY4BxZ A weird shrine with the sign "OCNIGIRI REIGNS" hanging. w This was right under gabes room, the same room joe got the "search lower" message from, almost exactly directly under where he was standing at the time. all fingers were pointed to gabe, so we confronted him. he gave us a fair point. while he does know how to code he does not know command block coding very well on java, and it has been a couple years since he used one. he also had no way to get his hands on one. also, im not sure if he has that amount of motivation. Today i decided to get on and use the seed to create a singleplayer creative world. I went to the exact cords of these two locations and there was nothing there. meaning that it is not tied to the seed. even if it were to be one of the two inactive friends, how would they have the messages? I am on lunar client, joe has some other mod that he uses (no hacking tho) and gabe has nothing. but we all see this room so what is it? what oculd it mean? This is what i think the lore is so far: From the jounral: There is a strange entity haunting "Em*et* Wo**st*ck" that has foreseeing abilities, it is seeing the future of a tragedy to happen in this realm. it speaks in teh language of the enchantment table, which is also the language villagers speak. emet does not understand this language however, one word is chanted over and over which is OCNIGIRI. From the shrine: OCNIGIRI REIGNS points to the direction that the ocnigiri is what is causing this future, the word REIGNS is almost a corrupt ownership also, gabe did point out that some villagers have been going missing, and i did in fact encounter one outside of the base. (keep inmind that the shrine is directly next to the villagers) what do you guys think???? could the "*" in the book be code??? the authors name is boviosuly incomplete. This thing has me freaked out. Here is a little extra compilation which includes the recording of me first encountering the cave, reading the book and mining around a bit https://outplayed.tv/media/XG8DM7 |
2024.05.14 00:15 khajithaswares69 Need help coming up with rough schedule
I'm hoping to come up with a schedule we can lightly implement. My baby is only 13 weeks so I know things are still likely to shift around. I'm pretty sure we're in the midst of the 4 month sleep regression already. See some of my previous posts for history. We think he had night/day confusion we were able to correct with a routine and exposing him to daylight and lots of stimulation and tummy time and stuff.
The last weekish he has been sleeping 10-12 hours a night and barely napping during the day. He gets very distracted during feeds, will rip his head away to look at stuff, wakes extremely easily during naps, won't let me put him down, it can take 30 minutes or more to get him to nap with methods that were tried and true and took maybe 10 minutes tops before (he won't even nap in his carrier, only right next to me after nursing while I'm pretty much holding him with the boppy for support. He's been a lot fussier in general, is starting to spin in circles on the floor and in his crib, rolling onto his side, and during tummy time he's very close to rolling onto his back (I think he's motivated bc he isn't a big fan of tummy time lol). All of this is to say I think developmentally and as far as signs go, even though it's quite early I'm pretty sure he's going through the regression right now. Also, this is almost identical to what the regression looked like with my first (although he was closer to 4 months when it happened for him).
I'm hoping as the dust starts to settle, whenever that may be, that I can implement a rough schedule that aligns with the family schedule.
Here is what our schedule is now
6:45-7am up for the day 7am nurse 7:35 walk big brother to the bus stop 8am home
Then all day in between is pretty much a free for all-I've only been trying to watch his sleep cues and make sure he's eating enough. Though mostly trying not to fall asleep myself while he refuses to nap.
~3:25pm nurse if we haven't in awhile 3:55pm leave to pickup big brother from the bus stop 4:15pm home
Free for all again but there's usually a nap anywhere from 45-90 minutes in there, plus we're making dinner and taking care of random things for the big kid
7-7:15pm begin nighttime routine: bath, jammies, take medicine (gas medicine and Tylenol for teething), read a book, nurse to sleep ~8pm usually asleep
He usually wakes between 1-3 times before we get up the next morning. One magical unicorn day he slept through but that is not the norm.
How much should he be napping during the day? Is his bedtime too early for him to be waking by 6:45/7am? What times should I be aiming to have him nap so we can be up in time to pick up his brother and also make sure he can get another nap at the correct interval before bedtime?
submitted by khajithaswares69 to sleeptrain [link] [comments]
The last weekish he has been sleeping 10-12 hours a night and barely napping during the day. He gets very distracted during feeds, will rip his head away to look at stuff, wakes extremely easily during naps, won't let me put him down, it can take 30 minutes or more to get him to nap with methods that were tried and true and took maybe 10 minutes tops before (he won't even nap in his carrier, only right next to me after nursing while I'm pretty much holding him with the boppy for support. He's been a lot fussier in general, is starting to spin in circles on the floor and in his crib, rolling onto his side, and during tummy time he's very close to rolling onto his back (I think he's motivated bc he isn't a big fan of tummy time lol). All of this is to say I think developmentally and as far as signs go, even though it's quite early I'm pretty sure he's going through the regression right now. Also, this is almost identical to what the regression looked like with my first (although he was closer to 4 months when it happened for him).
I'm hoping as the dust starts to settle, whenever that may be, that I can implement a rough schedule that aligns with the family schedule.
Here is what our schedule is now
6:45-7am up for the day 7am nurse 7:35 walk big brother to the bus stop 8am home
Then all day in between is pretty much a free for all-I've only been trying to watch his sleep cues and make sure he's eating enough. Though mostly trying not to fall asleep myself while he refuses to nap.
~3:25pm nurse if we haven't in awhile 3:55pm leave to pickup big brother from the bus stop 4:15pm home
Free for all again but there's usually a nap anywhere from 45-90 minutes in there, plus we're making dinner and taking care of random things for the big kid
7-7:15pm begin nighttime routine: bath, jammies, take medicine (gas medicine and Tylenol for teething), read a book, nurse to sleep ~8pm usually asleep
He usually wakes between 1-3 times before we get up the next morning. One magical unicorn day he slept through but that is not the norm.
How much should he be napping during the day? Is his bedtime too early for him to be waking by 6:45/7am? What times should I be aiming to have him nap so we can be up in time to pick up his brother and also make sure he can get another nap at the correct interval before bedtime?
2024.05.14 00:12 belle558 I don't have to go back!
Hi everyone. I know I posted here a couple of months ago so I'm just gonna give a quick update. I moved in with my sister about a year and a half ago because of my mums hoarding. I don't want to sound like i'm 'trauma dumping' but sadly my sister recently passed from cancer (fuck cancer). When I found out it was terminal I got anxious at the thought of having to return to my mums so I made a post here. Thank you to everyone who gave me advice and motivation then, i'm honestly very grateful.
Anyway I got in touch with a few charities and managed to get onto their waiting lists for accommodation. I've still had no updates about this but I know I am a priority on them and will get housing when it becomes available.
So thank you to my sister and those who have helped me, it means i'm officially out of her hoard!! I also want to say that if you're still living in any hoarded environment, it is possible to get out and I wish you the best. You are not alone<3
submitted by belle558 to ChildofHoarder [link] [comments]
Anyway I got in touch with a few charities and managed to get onto their waiting lists for accommodation. I've still had no updates about this but I know I am a priority on them and will get housing when it becomes available.
So thank you to my sister and those who have helped me, it means i'm officially out of her hoard!! I also want to say that if you're still living in any hoarded environment, it is possible to get out and I wish you the best. You are not alone<3
2024.05.14 00:12 lilydestroyer i’m at rock bottom
i’m 15, i’m an only child that is also a child of divorce, i’m failing all 4 of my classes and i hate everything about myself. i’ve been burnt out ever since sixth grade and never found motivation to actually try to do anything anymore. i don’t know what i want to do with my life if anything. i argue with my mother constantly about my grades and my messy room. i have a therapist but i haven’t been telling her how i truly feel so i’m not even getting the help i’m supposed to be. i think about death nearly every day, but i’m too much of a wuss to actually go through with a plan. everyday feels like i’m just in autopilot and i’m not actually there. i don’t find happiness in the things i used to. i say that i want to go home while i’m already at home. i can’t stand the way i look. i want to do better but i just can’t motivate myself. everyday feels like a chore. i barely sleep at night. i feel like i don’t deserve my own life. i don’t want help, i just want to stop living.
sorry i know this is all over the place i just needed to get some things off my chest.
submitted by lilydestroyer to Vent [link] [comments]
sorry i know this is all over the place i just needed to get some things off my chest.
2024.05.14 00:04 BaseSetMoonChild 3 year old and "more"
Sorry if this is a bit of a stream of consiousness rant. I'm just looking for any and all advice I can get.
I'm a parent to a little girl that just turned 3 recently and i'm just having trouble articulating something to them. I know, first off, that she's only 3 so it's probably a bit of a waste of breath lol. But i'm kind of at a loss how else to handle it
So when I say i'm having a problem with "more" what i'll try to explain what it is that i'm getting at.
If we go to the pool for 2 hours or 3 hours it doesn't matter. When we have to go; it's tantrum time
If she gets two bites of candy as a treat; It should have been 3. Tantrum time
If we stay up a little past bed time; Should have been more. If any of that makes sense?
I've tried as best I can to explain that we're doing fun things, at some point we *have* to be at the end of the fun thing lol
I've tried explaining that we shouldn't be upset that we have to leave the pool, but we should be happy we got to play for 2 hours. And I can kind of see her thinking about what i'm saying. But it rarely works and the next time something of that nature happens it feels like i'm right back to square one lol
I know it's likely just a natural step in her development And I'm sure there's no magic words I can say that will make this go away haha. I guess I just want to get this into the ethos maybe to help myself process that she's just little and this isn't forever.
Would appreciate any words or wisdom or even just some commiseration haha thanks everyone for your time and I wish nothing but the best to you all and your families :)
submitted by BaseSetMoonChild to Parenting [link] [comments]
I'm a parent to a little girl that just turned 3 recently and i'm just having trouble articulating something to them. I know, first off, that she's only 3 so it's probably a bit of a waste of breath lol. But i'm kind of at a loss how else to handle it
So when I say i'm having a problem with "more" what i'll try to explain what it is that i'm getting at.
If we go to the pool for 2 hours or 3 hours it doesn't matter. When we have to go; it's tantrum time
If she gets two bites of candy as a treat; It should have been 3. Tantrum time
If we stay up a little past bed time; Should have been more. If any of that makes sense?
I've tried as best I can to explain that we're doing fun things, at some point we *have* to be at the end of the fun thing lol
I've tried explaining that we shouldn't be upset that we have to leave the pool, but we should be happy we got to play for 2 hours. And I can kind of see her thinking about what i'm saying. But it rarely works and the next time something of that nature happens it feels like i'm right back to square one lol
I know it's likely just a natural step in her development And I'm sure there's no magic words I can say that will make this go away haha. I guess I just want to get this into the ethos maybe to help myself process that she's just little and this isn't forever.
Would appreciate any words or wisdom or even just some commiseration haha thanks everyone for your time and I wish nothing but the best to you all and your families :)
2024.05.14 00:03 Icy_Competition8947 Reworking Taro (now in a dedicated post)
Or rather, in a dedicated repost, because silly me couldn't read the pinned post and wait a few hours before posting my text the first time.
After giving a proper rewrite to Ayano, it's now time to do the same for her love interest. But first, I must give my apologises. The title of my post is "Reworking Taro", but it's actually misleading because there was barely any work to redo to begin with. Ok, there was the easy jab at the original character. Reading my previous rewrite posts isn't necessary to understand this one, but would allow you to grasp the differences with the official game better. If you're too lazy to do so, just keep in mind that my rewrite is a bit more social-focused. Anyway, here's my full-fledged take on our senpai.
Just like many other mediocre harem MC, the main problem with Taro is that he is extremely bland. There's literally nothing worth noticing about him. Now don't get me wrong, making one of your main characters an Average Joe isn't a bad thing in itself, and I know that a yandere having a crush on ordinary people is nothing uncommon in modern Japanese media. However, even the most boringly average person that you can think of still has defined personality, goals, and passions that makes them at least more interesting than a slice of stale bread. In our case, you could replace Taro with a random object and the story would still make as much sense, which usually isn't a good sign for a story meant to have a serious tone. Just like my name choice suggested it, I wanted my version of Taro to stay ordinary. However, I tried to flesh out the little characterization he originally has to make him stand out in his own way, so that the numerous girls' interest in him would feel a bit less unbelievable.
This is Daiki Tanaka, a 17-years old Japanese boy living with his parents and his little sister. Like many other Japanese high-schoolers, he goes to high school from Monday to Friday, attends classes, studies for his tests, and hopes he will be accepted in a good university. And just like many other teenagers, he is is having interrogations about what he wants to do after graduation, how his classmates view him, and whether he'll find himself a girlfriend. Clearly, he's just an average student. Among the typical students you can find in a school, Daiki is a hard-working one. Pressured both by his parents and himself to get the best opportunities he can to settle his future, he is self-conscious about his academic performances and is always trying to improve his grades. Thus, he preferred to remain clubless and spend his free time alone to focus on his studies. Most of the time, he is seen studying at the school library, or reading a book of classic literature next to the fountain. But behind this ordinary reserved bookworm loner appearance is a kind and cultivated boy with a strong sense of justice and a clear passion for the old texts he's reading, making him actually quite a charming person to spend time with for those who can see past his plain exterior. Ayano, of course, is one of those few people, but little did she know that she won't be the only one interested in her dear senpai.
Now that Senpai can be interacted with, it’s time to explore the potential of this addition by giving him another feature regular students have: tasks. Even if you can withstand his aura a bit better than in the official game, most of the conversations you’ll have with him won’t be long due to Ayano’s shyness. So, if you want to befriend Daiki, those little errands are the key to increase your affinity with him. For a more immersive narration, Daiki's tasks won't be your usual fetch quests that you can accept or refuse, but small talk where you must pay attention and figure out what to do to by yourself. The tasks will be at first very simple, like bringing him his schoolbag that he forgot in his classroom or gifting him the book he wanted to buy. Then, as he feels more comfortable around you, he will start talking a bit more openly about his life and his preoccupations, naturally leading to more complex tasks with more vague formulations and less obvious solutions, such as helping him become less invisible among his classmates. What would be the point of doing all that, will you ask? Having a higher affinity with Daiki will allow Ayano to make him follow her if you need to tactically move him for one of your eliminations. He will also be more likely to reject the rivals’ love confessions in case you don’t have the time to deal with them yourself. Moreover, narrative-wise, I think having the main character interact with their love interest would be a more realistic and healthier depiction of romance in the story. Well, as “healthy” as a yandere can be. But of course, you could also completely ignore this mechanic and focus on eliminating if you want to.
Finally, I would like to improve the reactions he has regarding students' disappearances. Despite all those things happening near him, he is shocked for a bit and then just kinda... accept it like nothing strange happened? The second most important character of the game, ladies and gentlemen. I get it, Senpai is a loner, he is passive, and he is dense. But at this point, that's not being passive anymore, that's being a wooden plank. So, this is my take: Daiki's sense of justice and passion for literature gave him a natural curiosity for crimes because of its depiction in novels. When facing murder, he will mostly act according to the loner archetype. However, if too many deaths or disappearances near him stay unresolved by the police and his sanity is high enough, he will find the courage to take a more active role and investigate on the crimes himself. Obviously, Daiki won't be able to arrest anyone by himself, but he has the advantage of being directly at the crime place and closer to the people at school than the police. Thus, he could report them additional details that they might have missed, like a student acting stranger than usual, missing tools or places cleaner than usual. This could put you in trouble unless you cover your tracks very well, or just prevent him from investigating. And of course, I would also implement Senpai's sanity meter that has been promised for I don't know how much time (but honestly, are you still hoping for it to be implemented after all that happened?), although slightly reworked. Daiki's sanity would decrease with any person dying. The closer the person is to him, both physically and figuratively, the lower it would drop. The deaths that would affect him the most would thus be those of his sister, his childhood friend, or anyone murdered right in front of him. On the opposite, a random student dying at the other side of the school would barely have any effect. A low sanity would have various effects on Daiki depending on its value and the amount of time he has spent with the other students. Those effects could be taking private lessons due to his grades dropping, joining a certain club to feel safer, or shutting himself in at home in one of the worst scenarios. In any case, this would affect his routine. Just like in the official concept, he would be able to recover sanity with a long enough crimeless period or giving him gifts. Only now would the rivals also be able to use the later method to gain affection, making them act a bit more like romantic rivals. I hope you don't mind actually caring about your senpai's mental health.
Obviously, a reworked senpai means reworked dynamics with your main targets. Since detailing everything would be way too long for a single post, I'll just link here my take on the romantic rivals that I decided to keep in my hypothetical game, and here, what I'd do with the discarded ones. Since they are Daiki's closest people, and the most likely to affect his mood in the game, I'll still put here what I have in mind for my version of Osana and Hanako.
His sister
Just like his canon counterpart, Daiki loves his sister very much. A feeling that is reciprocated a bit too much. Unlike her brother who has a balanced lifestyle, the middle-schooler is a very clingy girl who can't imagine being away from him. She has the bad habit of leaving her school during lunchtime just to visit him, which greatly embarrasses Daiki. Even if he appreciates the time they spend together in the end, he knows that this behaviour is unhealthy, and hope that, one day, his sister will find the confidence to become more independent. In my rewrite, the little sister isn't a romantic rival, but someone that I'd call a "big obstacle", as her role is mainly to appear at random (or maybe not, I haven't decided yet) days during lunchtime and potentially mess up your planification for the day. You wouldn't want to kill someone in front of your crush's beloved sister, right?
His childhood friend
Daiki and his sister have known their neighbours' daughter for more than a decade. All three of them used to play together during their childhood. The neighbours' daughter is a brash and impulsive girl, whose personality clashes with Daiki's quieter nature. Despite frequently being at odds and arguing about trivial things, both of them deeply care about each other and would be the first person to help the other if they were having problems. Daiki and his friend didn't have many occasions to see each other since elementary school, until the girl coincidentally transferred to the same high school as him. Even if he is now more serious and reserved than before, deep inside, he is still the same kind boy that she knew. Now that they can once again spend much time together, the girl has come to realize she was in love with her dear friend, but her internal turmoil and her personality make it difficult for her to act sincere and confess her feelings. She stays otherwise pretty similar to Osana, except for the greater consequences when dealing with her by using lethal eliminations, and maybe the fact that she won't be the first rival to appear.
Budo (or whatever name I'll end up giving him)
Yes, you read it right. That guy that overshadows Senpai among the fans is one of his friends in my rewrite. Because even the most introverted individuals are able to develop relationships with people that aren't potential romantic interests. The leader of the martial arts club is an outgoing action-oriented boy who is pretty popular at school. Unlike Daiki, Budo always knew in his heart that his place would be in a dojo, and thus doesn't have much interest in academics. But despite having such different backgrounds and personalities, both boys share the same sense of justice and admiration toward heroes. When he's not attending classes, studying or reading, Daiki hangs out with Budo, and is sometimes invited to watch the martial arts club members practicing. If too many dangerous events happen around Daiki, Budo, as an aspiring hero and good friend, will propose to escort him at certain periods, becoming basically a part-time bodyguard.
Ayano
Nothing much to say here. Daiki unknowingly reminded Ayano, who has locked her heart for years, how great it is to have feelings when they first met, and now she wants to make sure nothing stands between them. How she will reach her ends is your decision. If she decides to spend time with him and do his tasks, he will think of her as a peculiar, but well-intentioned girl. Just like in canon, Daiki is oblivious to Ayano's feelings, but it's more due to the fact that they barely know each other.
And that was my full-fledged take on Taro. When you have an ordinary person as a character in the middle of very colourful ones, the key to make the public care about him is to give them tangible preoccupations that, even if they aren't always relatable, make this character at least feel like a real person with human struggles and dreams, and not just a barebone plot device. And that might seems obvious, but if you have to write a love interest, make sure you actually show your public what your main character likes about him. That's even more important in the case where many people are attracted to this character. I tried to take those two things into account when rewriting Taro, and I know it's far from perfect, so don't hesitate to tell me what I should improve. In any case, if you made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read this long post. I hope I'll find the motivation to do the same with other characters.
submitted by Icy_Competition8947 to Osana [link] [comments]
After giving a proper rewrite to Ayano, it's now time to do the same for her love interest. But first, I must give my apologises. The title of my post is "Reworking Taro", but it's actually misleading because there was barely any work to redo to begin with. Ok, there was the easy jab at the original character. Reading my previous rewrite posts isn't necessary to understand this one, but would allow you to grasp the differences with the official game better. If you're too lazy to do so, just keep in mind that my rewrite is a bit more social-focused. Anyway, here's my full-fledged take on our senpai.
Just an ordinary upperclassman: Daiki Tanaka (田中 大樹)
Although Taro Yamada is a perfectly valid Japanese name, it's literally the Japanese equivalent of John Doe. This name just gives me the impression that nothing really matters about him, and that it isn't even worth the effort thinking about a proper name. That might have been the dev's intention, given Taro's characterisation in the game, but I personally can't consider being so lazy about the second most important character. So, rather than keeping this name that makes Senpai seem like some background character, I chose names that actually are very common in Japan in order to keep the "average guy" feeling. The most common Japanese surname is Sato (佐藤), but that sounded a bit too generic for me, so I opted for Tanaka (田中), another widespread name that you might already have seen in some anime. Surprisingly, despite also being common, Yamada (山田) doesn't even come close. For his first name, "Daiki" (written like this: 大樹) means "big tree". It's a fairly popular boy name during the last decades and doesn't refer to anything particular, except maybe the fact that he is a big brother.Just like many other mediocre harem MC, the main problem with Taro is that he is extremely bland. There's literally nothing worth noticing about him. Now don't get me wrong, making one of your main characters an Average Joe isn't a bad thing in itself, and I know that a yandere having a crush on ordinary people is nothing uncommon in modern Japanese media. However, even the most boringly average person that you can think of still has defined personality, goals, and passions that makes them at least more interesting than a slice of stale bread. In our case, you could replace Taro with a random object and the story would still make as much sense, which usually isn't a good sign for a story meant to have a serious tone. Just like my name choice suggested it, I wanted my version of Taro to stay ordinary. However, I tried to flesh out the little characterization he originally has to make him stand out in his own way, so that the numerous girls' interest in him would feel a bit less unbelievable.
This is Daiki Tanaka, a 17-years old Japanese boy living with his parents and his little sister. Like many other Japanese high-schoolers, he goes to high school from Monday to Friday, attends classes, studies for his tests, and hopes he will be accepted in a good university. And just like many other teenagers, he is is having interrogations about what he wants to do after graduation, how his classmates view him, and whether he'll find himself a girlfriend. Clearly, he's just an average student. Among the typical students you can find in a school, Daiki is a hard-working one. Pressured both by his parents and himself to get the best opportunities he can to settle his future, he is self-conscious about his academic performances and is always trying to improve his grades. Thus, he preferred to remain clubless and spend his free time alone to focus on his studies. Most of the time, he is seen studying at the school library, or reading a book of classic literature next to the fountain. But behind this ordinary reserved bookworm loner appearance is a kind and cultivated boy with a strong sense of justice and a clear passion for the old texts he's reading, making him actually quite a charming person to spend time with for those who can see past his plain exterior. Ayano, of course, is one of those few people, but little did she know that she won't be the only one interested in her dear senpai.
Gameplay role
According to the wiki:Gameplay-wise, Taro is more similar to a "moving obstacle" rather than a regular interactive student, as he cannot be interacted with normally.And you see, to me, that's a big problem. You spend the entire game keeping rivals away from Senpai by killing them, making them uninterested in him, or ruining their reputation, and after all the bad experiences he had with those (rather) normal girls, you expect me to believe that the girl Senpai, the perfectly normal guy at all levels, ends up choosing is the creepy lonely student that he has barely spoken to? Nah, I don't buy it. This is why, in my rewrite, my Senpai would be (most of the time) considered as a regular student that you can actually interact with. That means, first, that Ayano wouldn’t get immediately flustered by him when approaching him. I understand that people, especially teenagers, can act shy, nervous, or a little clumsy when their crush are at sight, but seriously, the depiction of this behaviour in the game is completely ridiculous. So, in my hypothetical game, you will have a small amount of time where you will be able to act normally near Daiki and talk to him before your heart starts beating louder and the screen gradually turns pink. Past this point, things pretty much happen the same as in the official game, since Ayano is emotionally unstable. Naturally, the more you interact with Daiki, the longer you will be able to remain calm in his presence.
Now that Senpai can be interacted with, it’s time to explore the potential of this addition by giving him another feature regular students have: tasks. Even if you can withstand his aura a bit better than in the official game, most of the conversations you’ll have with him won’t be long due to Ayano’s shyness. So, if you want to befriend Daiki, those little errands are the key to increase your affinity with him. For a more immersive narration, Daiki's tasks won't be your usual fetch quests that you can accept or refuse, but small talk where you must pay attention and figure out what to do to by yourself. The tasks will be at first very simple, like bringing him his schoolbag that he forgot in his classroom or gifting him the book he wanted to buy. Then, as he feels more comfortable around you, he will start talking a bit more openly about his life and his preoccupations, naturally leading to more complex tasks with more vague formulations and less obvious solutions, such as helping him become less invisible among his classmates. What would be the point of doing all that, will you ask? Having a higher affinity with Daiki will allow Ayano to make him follow her if you need to tactically move him for one of your eliminations. He will also be more likely to reject the rivals’ love confessions in case you don’t have the time to deal with them yourself. Moreover, narrative-wise, I think having the main character interact with their love interest would be a more realistic and healthier depiction of romance in the story. Well, as “healthy” as a yandere can be. But of course, you could also completely ignore this mechanic and focus on eliminating if you want to.
Finally, I would like to improve the reactions he has regarding students' disappearances. Despite all those things happening near him, he is shocked for a bit and then just kinda... accept it like nothing strange happened? The second most important character of the game, ladies and gentlemen. I get it, Senpai is a loner, he is passive, and he is dense. But at this point, that's not being passive anymore, that's being a wooden plank. So, this is my take: Daiki's sense of justice and passion for literature gave him a natural curiosity for crimes because of its depiction in novels. When facing murder, he will mostly act according to the loner archetype. However, if too many deaths or disappearances near him stay unresolved by the police and his sanity is high enough, he will find the courage to take a more active role and investigate on the crimes himself. Obviously, Daiki won't be able to arrest anyone by himself, but he has the advantage of being directly at the crime place and closer to the people at school than the police. Thus, he could report them additional details that they might have missed, like a student acting stranger than usual, missing tools or places cleaner than usual. This could put you in trouble unless you cover your tracks very well, or just prevent him from investigating. And of course, I would also implement Senpai's sanity meter that has been promised for I don't know how much time (but honestly, are you still hoping for it to be implemented after all that happened?), although slightly reworked. Daiki's sanity would decrease with any person dying. The closer the person is to him, both physically and figuratively, the lower it would drop. The deaths that would affect him the most would thus be those of his sister, his childhood friend, or anyone murdered right in front of him. On the opposite, a random student dying at the other side of the school would barely have any effect. A low sanity would have various effects on Daiki depending on its value and the amount of time he has spent with the other students. Those effects could be taking private lessons due to his grades dropping, joining a certain club to feel safer, or shutting himself in at home in one of the worst scenarios. In any case, this would affect his routine. Just like in the official concept, he would be able to recover sanity with a long enough crimeless period or giving him gifts. Only now would the rivals also be able to use the later method to gain affection, making them act a bit more like romantic rivals. I hope you don't mind actually caring about your senpai's mental health.
Relationships with other characters
The rivalsObviously, a reworked senpai means reworked dynamics with your main targets. Since detailing everything would be way too long for a single post, I'll just link here my take on the romantic rivals that I decided to keep in my hypothetical game, and here, what I'd do with the discarded ones. Since they are Daiki's closest people, and the most likely to affect his mood in the game, I'll still put here what I have in mind for my version of Osana and Hanako.
His sister
Just like his canon counterpart, Daiki loves his sister very much. A feeling that is reciprocated a bit too much. Unlike her brother who has a balanced lifestyle, the middle-schooler is a very clingy girl who can't imagine being away from him. She has the bad habit of leaving her school during lunchtime just to visit him, which greatly embarrasses Daiki. Even if he appreciates the time they spend together in the end, he knows that this behaviour is unhealthy, and hope that, one day, his sister will find the confidence to become more independent. In my rewrite, the little sister isn't a romantic rival, but someone that I'd call a "big obstacle", as her role is mainly to appear at random (or maybe not, I haven't decided yet) days during lunchtime and potentially mess up your planification for the day. You wouldn't want to kill someone in front of your crush's beloved sister, right?
His childhood friend
Daiki and his sister have known their neighbours' daughter for more than a decade. All three of them used to play together during their childhood. The neighbours' daughter is a brash and impulsive girl, whose personality clashes with Daiki's quieter nature. Despite frequently being at odds and arguing about trivial things, both of them deeply care about each other and would be the first person to help the other if they were having problems. Daiki and his friend didn't have many occasions to see each other since elementary school, until the girl coincidentally transferred to the same high school as him. Even if he is now more serious and reserved than before, deep inside, he is still the same kind boy that she knew. Now that they can once again spend much time together, the girl has come to realize she was in love with her dear friend, but her internal turmoil and her personality make it difficult for her to act sincere and confess her feelings. She stays otherwise pretty similar to Osana, except for the greater consequences when dealing with her by using lethal eliminations, and maybe the fact that she won't be the first rival to appear.
Budo (or whatever name I'll end up giving him)
Yes, you read it right. That guy that overshadows Senpai among the fans is one of his friends in my rewrite. Because even the most introverted individuals are able to develop relationships with people that aren't potential romantic interests. The leader of the martial arts club is an outgoing action-oriented boy who is pretty popular at school. Unlike Daiki, Budo always knew in his heart that his place would be in a dojo, and thus doesn't have much interest in academics. But despite having such different backgrounds and personalities, both boys share the same sense of justice and admiration toward heroes. When he's not attending classes, studying or reading, Daiki hangs out with Budo, and is sometimes invited to watch the martial arts club members practicing. If too many dangerous events happen around Daiki, Budo, as an aspiring hero and good friend, will propose to escort him at certain periods, becoming basically a part-time bodyguard.
Ayano
Nothing much to say here. Daiki unknowingly reminded Ayano, who has locked her heart for years, how great it is to have feelings when they first met, and now she wants to make sure nothing stands between them. How she will reach her ends is your decision. If she decides to spend time with him and do his tasks, he will think of her as a peculiar, but well-intentioned girl. Just like in canon, Daiki is oblivious to Ayano's feelings, but it's more due to the fact that they barely know each other.
Trivia
- Regarding his career choice, Daiki is hesitating between becoming an author, a lawyer or a criminologist.
- Like Taro, he also likes nature and gardening, but to a lesser extend.
- Sometimes, instead of a book of classic literature, you can see him reading the latest crime novel at the fountain. With a pen and a writing pad, because he's just that invested.
- Since he is friend with Budo, he sometimes feels too plain and boring compared to him regarding romance. If you use matchmaking to eliminate a rival, his self-consciousness will grow a bit stronger.
- He has never bought a panty shot from Info-chan, but honestly, do you really find this surprising, or even relevant? He has never even contacted Info-chan.
- I had quite the choice among popular Japanese boy names. Daiki could've been named "Yamato", "Daisuke", "Hiroto", "Yuto", "Yuu", or even "Satoshi" instead.
- In the official game, if Ayano commits a crime in his sight while wearing a mask, Taro will rip the mask off her face with no regard for his safety or his character consistency. I would like to get rid of this behaviour for Daiki, except for one specific circumstance.
And that was my full-fledged take on Taro. When you have an ordinary person as a character in the middle of very colourful ones, the key to make the public care about him is to give them tangible preoccupations that, even if they aren't always relatable, make this character at least feel like a real person with human struggles and dreams, and not just a barebone plot device. And that might seems obvious, but if you have to write a love interest, make sure you actually show your public what your main character likes about him. That's even more important in the case where many people are attracted to this character. I tried to take those two things into account when rewriting Taro, and I know it's far from perfect, so don't hesitate to tell me what I should improve. In any case, if you made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read this long post. I hope I'll find the motivation to do the same with other characters.
2024.05.14 00:02 Emergency_Table_7526 The Cyber Truck isn't as stupid as people think it is
Say what you want about EVs and Elon Musk, but the Cybertruck itself is not as bad of an idea as it is made out to be. Yes, the quality control seems to be inconsistent, and there are some design features that seem half baked, you've got to give it to them for trying something new. Innovation can't be done without pushing the limits.
The look of the modern car has changed dozens of times in the last hundred years, and will continue to change. People used to think wrapping a minivan in wood paneling was a good idea. Some years, boxier was better. Other years, curvy was better. Candy and pearl paint is really in right now. It will look dated in a few years. That's just the way it is. Obviously not all cars will look like the Cyber Truc in the future, but it has already likely made an impression on the design for other makes in the industry moving forward.
submitted by Emergency_Table_7526 to unpopularopinion [link] [comments]
The look of the modern car has changed dozens of times in the last hundred years, and will continue to change. People used to think wrapping a minivan in wood paneling was a good idea. Some years, boxier was better. Other years, curvy was better. Candy and pearl paint is really in right now. It will look dated in a few years. That's just the way it is. Obviously not all cars will look like the Cyber Truc in the future, but it has already likely made an impression on the design for other makes in the industry moving forward.
2024.05.13 23:56 gadawgs0101 Executive Dysfunction Blues
Today has been a hard day. I barely pulled myself out of bed this morning and arrived to work 2 hours late. I was basically frozen in place staring at my screen for the first few hours. I took my medicine, which never really helps any way, but today was somehow worse than others. I have a list of tasks to work on, so I know what needs to be done, but unless a coworker is demanding an answer immediately it will not get done. I hate that I'm like this.
I wanted to do so many things this weekend. I wanted to clean my back porch now that Spring is here. I wanted to paint, an ongoing hobby that I claim to love but never work on. I wanted to clean up my room so I quit tripping over my clothes on the floor. I wanted to clean my bathroom so I have more than 2 inches of free counter space. I wanted to work on coding, another dead hobby of mine. Instead I played Candy Crush and Monopoly Go and napped on and off. Does anyone else feel like they're really intelligent and can learn anything, but just don't have the motivation to do it? It drives me crazy. I feel like I'm wasting my life. And really...I am. I could've done so much this weekend. Instead I accomplished absolutely nothing. I guess I'm just venting, but if anyone has any great executive functioning tips I'd be open to them.
submitted by gadawgs0101 to ADHD [link] [comments]
I wanted to do so many things this weekend. I wanted to clean my back porch now that Spring is here. I wanted to paint, an ongoing hobby that I claim to love but never work on. I wanted to clean up my room so I quit tripping over my clothes on the floor. I wanted to clean my bathroom so I have more than 2 inches of free counter space. I wanted to work on coding, another dead hobby of mine. Instead I played Candy Crush and Monopoly Go and napped on and off. Does anyone else feel like they're really intelligent and can learn anything, but just don't have the motivation to do it? It drives me crazy. I feel like I'm wasting my life. And really...I am. I could've done so much this weekend. Instead I accomplished absolutely nothing. I guess I'm just venting, but if anyone has any great executive functioning tips I'd be open to them.
2024.05.13 23:55 sadallthetimeagain [1127] Moving Right Along
I felt myself getting a little heated in today's CASA group discussions about "trauma." For every 10 times you'll hear that word, "resilience" will come up maybe once. I think most of us are aware of how arm-chairy and buzzworthy trauma and therapy have become. It's one of the latest cultural trends that facilitate a fluidity to presumed-more-informed conversation, without the practice of developing finer lines of understanding and distinction.
On the basis of your invocation of "trauma" you can rush to provide "help" and "services" and begin blaming an incredible amount of "mental health issues" or "unresolved childhoods." It's literally the cliche of a freshman's behavior after enrolling in their first college psychology course on blast. They've already invoked unsubstantiated pseudo-science and pop-culture explicitly not psychology as tools to provide frameworks for understanding your families. When someone infers substance abuse from a story just because the accusation was levied or any kind of drug was referenced at any level, their conclusions or assumptions go unchecked. It's predictably baking a recipe for an unnecessary mess on top of whatever the family is going through.
You can feel the tension every time you speak in "checking" ways. This happens to me routinely. One of the presenters spoke to the biased and incomplete ways that foster parents or aggravated family members might speak to the nature of the case or anyone's character. I pointed out that case managers can leave out details and massage stories to fit their ends as well. That got ignored and we moved right along. It's a real concern, and you need to know how to protect your relationship with someone who might be specifically directed to undermine your effort to advocate with the evidence.
But it doesn't feel "pleasant" or "decent" when you "want to believe the best" about your colleagues. Is it less true? Absolutely not. I was literally forced into that position from predatory supervisors and watched dipshit coworkers skip along those disingenuous lines without hesitation. Anecdotes fawning over better-inclined and capable FCMs do nothing to erase that.
So I started thinking about "discomfort" broadly. Another concept that's been wholesale abused. We needed to be way too on guard for what or whether we said might be a "micro aggression" or would cause someone to feel "unsafe" or "uncomfortable." Again, our pop psychology and propensity to overstate the noisiest out-ragers, made it so critical thinking and doubt became sinful in and of themselves. Facts don't matter in that space. "Being heard" is afforded only if you're claiming victimhood, but then, only victimhood of a certain type. The own-goal that is reactionary politics when you forgo any genuine attempt at taking someone's, almost certainly mostly irrational but nonetheless real, concern seriously is the ongoing consequence we get to suffer.
I think the more you practice observing conversational patterns, word choices, and trends, you can start to see previously "abstract" things considerably more acutely. One thing I notice is a propensity for "moving right along." I don't care what the topic is, there's a "normal" pace and pater that is preferred. Violate that, and it's time to move on. Point out the failings of the people you're supposed to trust most or even ingratiate yourself to? Let's move right along into the next module, as we all know there's nothing much more to say about that.
Another pattern I notice is the "taken aback pause." It's not precisely a reaction to being "offended," but it's a stark enough detail or way of relaying information that who you're speaking with was not prepared to engage that intensely. If they're quick, it'll be a brink-of-condescending acknowledgement before moving-right-along, or if they're not quick, it'll be a placating obfuscating of what you said to "even things out."Again, these are imprecise norms of conversational behavior around the particulars of one culture at one point in time, but they're real and of consequence whether or not you can see them.
When we use the word "bias," we let ourselves off the hook on the myriad ways it manifests. We let "bias" obscure in the opposite way that we let "trauma" obscure. Trauma is abused to over-explain what should be considered a necessary series of responses or consequences. Bias is abused to overlook how deeply it colors your propensity to engage that over-explaining behavior. You are biased, first and foremost, to your subjective experience of reality. In my experience, almost no one is that clued into their own flow of experience. Even the ones that are, or are showing the most growth and evidence, struggle, and will struggle indefinitely. This includes myself.
That's the point, though. You need the struggle to keep your wits about you. You need appropriate stressors against the things that will help you grow and incorporate. By definition, norms put that insistence to the side so we can all find a baseline mutual understanding to move right along down. The more cliched you sound, if you don't have a reflex to pause and pull back, the more you're training yourself to believe and act on "just whatever it is you say." You're a circular and totalitarian monster by default.
Add to that, you may not have any real ability or willingness to recognize how many cliches you truly are under the spell of. This is what the unironic attempts around discussions of "privilege" do a generally miserable job of explaining. We all have privileges up and down hierarchies and competencies and dozens of other metrics we fluidly transition through all day. None are necessarily going to jar you awake or indicate there's anything worth examining on their own. Your cohort speaks your language. Your education taught you the "right" things. Your hobbies and interests conform to a person of your state and stature. "It's just how things are done."
This provokes people's insecurity as a standing state of a lack of readiness. When you poke people, you'll find they don't have "real" reasons for their behavior, beliefs, or words. It's all been handed to them. They're a series of unconscious forces they're more or less molding to because that's how our brains work. Your brain doesn't care what it forms a pattern around, just that it can do so. There's survival reasons for this, as well as a story of basic capacities to function regardless of the nature of the environment that's all-but certain to otherwise kill you if you can't figure it out.
I, routinely, provoke that insecurity. I've learned to show considerably less ambivalence about the person after they've been provoked, but it happens just as an ongoing and predictable course of my practice. This is my practice. I analyze. I pull back. I try to identify and speak to patterns, even if they're abstract, but certainly concrete enough for me to anticipate them and work with or around them. I know what kind of response I need built into what I can reliably anticipate is going to be yours. I know how to piss off and get ignored by "the internet," and I know how to illicit a thousand likes. What's important to me is that I'm speaking as closely to my real perspective or agenda as possible, and not being driven by an elusive brain chemical game subject to the mercy of algorithms or inarticulate desires to unhealthily fit in.
I want to fit in, but with an ever-winnowing type of person. I want to be less-wrong in the information I share, but not at the expense of someone's capacity to hear it or learn from it if I can't be bothered to temper how I say it. I want to grow in my capacity to accept people, but not at the expense of their obligation to better account for and relay their own experience. I've been told my whole life that I'm not allowed to expect the same things from other people as I might of myself. I think this is fundamentally wrong and condescending. I think I should maintain the expectation while doing everything in my power to reduce the barriers to any one person getting to whatever heights you think I've managed or been born with.
Here again, we stay lost. How do you remove barriers you can't see or might even be dispositionally against even acknowledging can exist altogether? How many "boot straps" types can even be bothered to acknowledge the impact of the villages they're living in? How many "deeply empathic" people would entertain pairing their sensibilities to the word "toxic" under any circumstance? It's pretty easy, now, for me to see when my forthright manner acts as too blunt an instrument. Can you see where your baseline disposition and sympathies cloud your judgment and capacity to act more accountably?
I feel like "accountable" itself is poorly understood. Just count! Count the disquieting contradictory thought. Count the intensity, frequency, and severity of the feelings. Count the attempts to mitigate or times you recognized forgoing to do so. Accountability doesn't mean wildly wielding an axe to bring down dramatic consequences upon everything and everyone that wasn't noticed until now. It's just asking yourself, over and over again, what can I control about this situation? What can I act on that speaks to my values and perception?
Let's take the real world example of me and Byron. I can't control his perception of what he thought he was doing in service to the kid. I can't control his awareness of any creeping mental health issues that might have arisen. I can't control whether or not he responds affirmatively to my new boundaries. I could control telling him what those boundaries were altogether, so I did. I can affirm that I'm only going to communicate along the lines that hopefully help the boundary conditions get met before I'm willing to get more colloquial or back to friendly. I can respect that he told me our friendship is "invaluable." I can't truthfully say I think we'd be using that word in a mutually understood way until I see practical, tangible effects upon my life that counteract where I feel I am as a direct result of my expression of friendship getting grossly taken advantage of.
Until then, I'll treat him like I would any client. Show me. I'll patiently-enough nod along, provide whatever perspective or reframe that I can, and remain open to demonstrated behavior changes. I don't have to throw myself back into his fire. If I'm going to claim a desire to protect and maintain genuine friendships or care for those in my life, I'm not going to treat myself with the ambivalence I see others suffer from themselves every day.
I choose that level of discomfort. I only mildly complain today, as it's gotten dramatically better, about doing things alone and never having anyone to hang out with. Byron was my go-to spot for killing time or hanging out. Not once in my free time have I said, "You know, fuck my boundary, let's hang out there!" How could I look myself in the mirror? How could I advocate for you establishing better boundaries with people in your life? How could I ignore what I would characterize as gleeful and willful defiance of doing "better" than playing out battered-wife excuse making? I will not play-act friendship with someone who can't be bothered to work as hard on themselves or in service to me as I've been for them. That's not the kind of friend I am, so it's not the one I'll let back in lightly.
What's normal, though? No matter how bad someone fucks you, forgive and pretend to forget, right? They're "family." Life's too short. It is what it is. They didn't mean to or weren't aware. That's not who they were in the past. Holding grudges is unhealthy. Your insecurities around being isolated or alone betray you. Your obligation to play along and appease your mutual network takes over. Whether any real healing or mutual understanding comes into the equation is perfectly mute because we need to just move right along and "love each other."
I watch that dance justify literally every conceivable level of atrocity. It is the exact same self-servicing motivatedly ignorant pattern. From your god's behavior right on down through your secret satisfaction and smirk at punishing your pet a little too aggressively just that one time. What you don't account for counts on you to carry out its consequences. And you are, every day, in big and small ways, and it's predictable and fixable, but only with stuff like this. You have to own it. You have to "yes, and" like it's an improv class. You have to perpetually entertain the thought that you are a misguided monster, but that fact doesn't have to dictate your behavior going forward nor need to illicit some special amount of stress or talking in circles.
Then you might have a prayer of genuinely helping anything, because you see how you're otherwise fucking it up within yourself. You can resist the insistence to move past meaningful details. You can point to specific repeatable demonstrations of your values. You can see other people responding to your confidence of relatable recognizable capacity, and not the shadow game of peacocking virtue signaling and mantra echoing.
I will spend thousands of dollars, use all my tools, and spend every waking hour I have trying to help. I think most people I've met would say the same thing. Who is actually doing so? And in service to whom? Do you trust what drives them? Do you see equitable put in get out dynamics? Or is it codepedence? Or insecurity? Or some noble story of infinite sacrifice and unconditional love?
I'm willing to set the conditions because I expect better than what's normal of and for myself. Were circumstances reversed, I wouldn't treat you as I've been treated, and most importantly, have the demonstrated behavior from myself to trust. I've spent the time and money. I've opened the conversations. I've challenged the mismanaged powers and privileges. I've risen to the challenge of creating circumstances that inch me closer to what I actually want or think is better versus what's expected of me. It never ends. Every second you pretend otherwise, you disappear, and I have to fit your abstract abdication into my specific constructs.
submitted by sadallthetimeagain to self [link] [comments]
On the basis of your invocation of "trauma" you can rush to provide "help" and "services" and begin blaming an incredible amount of "mental health issues" or "unresolved childhoods." It's literally the cliche of a freshman's behavior after enrolling in their first college psychology course on blast. They've already invoked unsubstantiated pseudo-science and pop-culture explicitly not psychology as tools to provide frameworks for understanding your families. When someone infers substance abuse from a story just because the accusation was levied or any kind of drug was referenced at any level, their conclusions or assumptions go unchecked. It's predictably baking a recipe for an unnecessary mess on top of whatever the family is going through.
You can feel the tension every time you speak in "checking" ways. This happens to me routinely. One of the presenters spoke to the biased and incomplete ways that foster parents or aggravated family members might speak to the nature of the case or anyone's character. I pointed out that case managers can leave out details and massage stories to fit their ends as well. That got ignored and we moved right along. It's a real concern, and you need to know how to protect your relationship with someone who might be specifically directed to undermine your effort to advocate with the evidence.
But it doesn't feel "pleasant" or "decent" when you "want to believe the best" about your colleagues. Is it less true? Absolutely not. I was literally forced into that position from predatory supervisors and watched dipshit coworkers skip along those disingenuous lines without hesitation. Anecdotes fawning over better-inclined and capable FCMs do nothing to erase that.
So I started thinking about "discomfort" broadly. Another concept that's been wholesale abused. We needed to be way too on guard for what or whether we said might be a "micro aggression" or would cause someone to feel "unsafe" or "uncomfortable." Again, our pop psychology and propensity to overstate the noisiest out-ragers, made it so critical thinking and doubt became sinful in and of themselves. Facts don't matter in that space. "Being heard" is afforded only if you're claiming victimhood, but then, only victimhood of a certain type. The own-goal that is reactionary politics when you forgo any genuine attempt at taking someone's, almost certainly mostly irrational but nonetheless real, concern seriously is the ongoing consequence we get to suffer.
I think the more you practice observing conversational patterns, word choices, and trends, you can start to see previously "abstract" things considerably more acutely. One thing I notice is a propensity for "moving right along." I don't care what the topic is, there's a "normal" pace and pater that is preferred. Violate that, and it's time to move on. Point out the failings of the people you're supposed to trust most or even ingratiate yourself to? Let's move right along into the next module, as we all know there's nothing much more to say about that.
Another pattern I notice is the "taken aback pause." It's not precisely a reaction to being "offended," but it's a stark enough detail or way of relaying information that who you're speaking with was not prepared to engage that intensely. If they're quick, it'll be a brink-of-condescending acknowledgement before moving-right-along, or if they're not quick, it'll be a placating obfuscating of what you said to "even things out."Again, these are imprecise norms of conversational behavior around the particulars of one culture at one point in time, but they're real and of consequence whether or not you can see them.
When we use the word "bias," we let ourselves off the hook on the myriad ways it manifests. We let "bias" obscure in the opposite way that we let "trauma" obscure. Trauma is abused to over-explain what should be considered a necessary series of responses or consequences. Bias is abused to overlook how deeply it colors your propensity to engage that over-explaining behavior. You are biased, first and foremost, to your subjective experience of reality. In my experience, almost no one is that clued into their own flow of experience. Even the ones that are, or are showing the most growth and evidence, struggle, and will struggle indefinitely. This includes myself.
That's the point, though. You need the struggle to keep your wits about you. You need appropriate stressors against the things that will help you grow and incorporate. By definition, norms put that insistence to the side so we can all find a baseline mutual understanding to move right along down. The more cliched you sound, if you don't have a reflex to pause and pull back, the more you're training yourself to believe and act on "just whatever it is you say." You're a circular and totalitarian monster by default.
Add to that, you may not have any real ability or willingness to recognize how many cliches you truly are under the spell of. This is what the unironic attempts around discussions of "privilege" do a generally miserable job of explaining. We all have privileges up and down hierarchies and competencies and dozens of other metrics we fluidly transition through all day. None are necessarily going to jar you awake or indicate there's anything worth examining on their own. Your cohort speaks your language. Your education taught you the "right" things. Your hobbies and interests conform to a person of your state and stature. "It's just how things are done."
This provokes people's insecurity as a standing state of a lack of readiness. When you poke people, you'll find they don't have "real" reasons for their behavior, beliefs, or words. It's all been handed to them. They're a series of unconscious forces they're more or less molding to because that's how our brains work. Your brain doesn't care what it forms a pattern around, just that it can do so. There's survival reasons for this, as well as a story of basic capacities to function regardless of the nature of the environment that's all-but certain to otherwise kill you if you can't figure it out.
I, routinely, provoke that insecurity. I've learned to show considerably less ambivalence about the person after they've been provoked, but it happens just as an ongoing and predictable course of my practice. This is my practice. I analyze. I pull back. I try to identify and speak to patterns, even if they're abstract, but certainly concrete enough for me to anticipate them and work with or around them. I know what kind of response I need built into what I can reliably anticipate is going to be yours. I know how to piss off and get ignored by "the internet," and I know how to illicit a thousand likes. What's important to me is that I'm speaking as closely to my real perspective or agenda as possible, and not being driven by an elusive brain chemical game subject to the mercy of algorithms or inarticulate desires to unhealthily fit in.
I want to fit in, but with an ever-winnowing type of person. I want to be less-wrong in the information I share, but not at the expense of someone's capacity to hear it or learn from it if I can't be bothered to temper how I say it. I want to grow in my capacity to accept people, but not at the expense of their obligation to better account for and relay their own experience. I've been told my whole life that I'm not allowed to expect the same things from other people as I might of myself. I think this is fundamentally wrong and condescending. I think I should maintain the expectation while doing everything in my power to reduce the barriers to any one person getting to whatever heights you think I've managed or been born with.
Here again, we stay lost. How do you remove barriers you can't see or might even be dispositionally against even acknowledging can exist altogether? How many "boot straps" types can even be bothered to acknowledge the impact of the villages they're living in? How many "deeply empathic" people would entertain pairing their sensibilities to the word "toxic" under any circumstance? It's pretty easy, now, for me to see when my forthright manner acts as too blunt an instrument. Can you see where your baseline disposition and sympathies cloud your judgment and capacity to act more accountably?
I feel like "accountable" itself is poorly understood. Just count! Count the disquieting contradictory thought. Count the intensity, frequency, and severity of the feelings. Count the attempts to mitigate or times you recognized forgoing to do so. Accountability doesn't mean wildly wielding an axe to bring down dramatic consequences upon everything and everyone that wasn't noticed until now. It's just asking yourself, over and over again, what can I control about this situation? What can I act on that speaks to my values and perception?
Let's take the real world example of me and Byron. I can't control his perception of what he thought he was doing in service to the kid. I can't control his awareness of any creeping mental health issues that might have arisen. I can't control whether or not he responds affirmatively to my new boundaries. I could control telling him what those boundaries were altogether, so I did. I can affirm that I'm only going to communicate along the lines that hopefully help the boundary conditions get met before I'm willing to get more colloquial or back to friendly. I can respect that he told me our friendship is "invaluable." I can't truthfully say I think we'd be using that word in a mutually understood way until I see practical, tangible effects upon my life that counteract where I feel I am as a direct result of my expression of friendship getting grossly taken advantage of.
Until then, I'll treat him like I would any client. Show me. I'll patiently-enough nod along, provide whatever perspective or reframe that I can, and remain open to demonstrated behavior changes. I don't have to throw myself back into his fire. If I'm going to claim a desire to protect and maintain genuine friendships or care for those in my life, I'm not going to treat myself with the ambivalence I see others suffer from themselves every day.
I choose that level of discomfort. I only mildly complain today, as it's gotten dramatically better, about doing things alone and never having anyone to hang out with. Byron was my go-to spot for killing time or hanging out. Not once in my free time have I said, "You know, fuck my boundary, let's hang out there!" How could I look myself in the mirror? How could I advocate for you establishing better boundaries with people in your life? How could I ignore what I would characterize as gleeful and willful defiance of doing "better" than playing out battered-wife excuse making? I will not play-act friendship with someone who can't be bothered to work as hard on themselves or in service to me as I've been for them. That's not the kind of friend I am, so it's not the one I'll let back in lightly.
What's normal, though? No matter how bad someone fucks you, forgive and pretend to forget, right? They're "family." Life's too short. It is what it is. They didn't mean to or weren't aware. That's not who they were in the past. Holding grudges is unhealthy. Your insecurities around being isolated or alone betray you. Your obligation to play along and appease your mutual network takes over. Whether any real healing or mutual understanding comes into the equation is perfectly mute because we need to just move right along and "love each other."
I watch that dance justify literally every conceivable level of atrocity. It is the exact same self-servicing motivatedly ignorant pattern. From your god's behavior right on down through your secret satisfaction and smirk at punishing your pet a little too aggressively just that one time. What you don't account for counts on you to carry out its consequences. And you are, every day, in big and small ways, and it's predictable and fixable, but only with stuff like this. You have to own it. You have to "yes, and" like it's an improv class. You have to perpetually entertain the thought that you are a misguided monster, but that fact doesn't have to dictate your behavior going forward nor need to illicit some special amount of stress or talking in circles.
Then you might have a prayer of genuinely helping anything, because you see how you're otherwise fucking it up within yourself. You can resist the insistence to move past meaningful details. You can point to specific repeatable demonstrations of your values. You can see other people responding to your confidence of relatable recognizable capacity, and not the shadow game of peacocking virtue signaling and mantra echoing.
I will spend thousands of dollars, use all my tools, and spend every waking hour I have trying to help. I think most people I've met would say the same thing. Who is actually doing so? And in service to whom? Do you trust what drives them? Do you see equitable put in get out dynamics? Or is it codepedence? Or insecurity? Or some noble story of infinite sacrifice and unconditional love?
I'm willing to set the conditions because I expect better than what's normal of and for myself. Were circumstances reversed, I wouldn't treat you as I've been treated, and most importantly, have the demonstrated behavior from myself to trust. I've spent the time and money. I've opened the conversations. I've challenged the mismanaged powers and privileges. I've risen to the challenge of creating circumstances that inch me closer to what I actually want or think is better versus what's expected of me. It never ends. Every second you pretend otherwise, you disappear, and I have to fit your abstract abdication into my specific constructs.
2024.05.13 23:54 Ok_Highway_2132 Is a C that bad..
So I don't want to get into too much detail about what is going on in my life but let's just say I'm not the most mentally stable person.. However I am very motivated and ambitious to do good in school but my mental health has made that IMPOSSIBLE ..
and I have a C in one of my classes and the year is about to end. It could go up, could go down. I have a Bunch of B's and one A. These aren't the worst grades I'm aware but I'm trying to not disappoint my parents ... and I'm usually a straight A student.
but ig I'm asking would colleges look at the C and be like "oh..."😭😭 and tips on how to not feel like a failure thanks
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and I have a C in one of my classes and the year is about to end. It could go up, could go down. I have a Bunch of B's and one A. These aren't the worst grades I'm aware but I'm trying to not disappoint my parents ... and I'm usually a straight A student.
but ig I'm asking would colleges look at the C and be like "oh..."😭😭 and tips on how to not feel like a failure thanks