Cute bbm writing
Rudexvirus and her musings
2018.03.17 01:46 rudexvirus Rudexvirus and her musings
A place for me to centralize my writing! I will put anything here that is not being saved for traditional publishing routes :D
2015.05.23 04:41 CGM-Devo MystikBelle
This subreddit is for any and all things related to the videogame Mystik Belle, its hypothetical sequels, and other Last Dimension games.
2018.03.23 12:21 neelhtaky Artist Community
A community of artists, for artists. Want to show someone your artwork? Do you need feedback, guidance, or a safe place to rant? Many of our users are artists just like you; both beginners and experienced. Our aim: to support each other in reaching our goals.
2024.05.14 20:59 Flagg1991 Children of the Night (Part 1)
What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.
submitted by Flagg1991 to LetsReadOfficial [link] [comments]
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.
2024.05.14 20:45 electricladyyy I'm sorry but I cannot take Sookie and Eric seriously in s4
I know Eric is obviously not himself, but the writing and acting are just so corny. When Eric says "I want to stay like this forever so I can be with you" or whatever is so cringe. I can't help but laugh. It's not cute or endearing to me. Now I can get on board with Sookie and Eric as himself. But the whole amnesia Eric storyline is stupid to me lol I'll accept down votes.
submitted by electricladyyy to TrueBlood [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 20:09 taptheflow Confused and disappointed
I (41M) matched with her (28F) a couple of weeks ago and hit it off, she was the first to offer her phone number so we could chat outside the app. We chatted constantly with great banter and vested interest. Set up a date for last weekend (Sunday). She lives 2 hrs away but I was overdue for a road trip and was glad to find an excuse to get out of town. I suggested we go somewhere pretty and have a picnic (we're in the PNW so there's plenty of that) and settled on a beautiful park. I offered to pick her up but after a conversation she said she felt better if we just arrived in separate cars because she wanted the option of an "exit strategy" in case the "vibe wasn't there". I respected her boundaries and complied, it was our first meeting and I am completely flexible and respectful. I was raised a gentleman (Hispanic background) and I think chivalry is not dead. Not trying to virtue signal, just think being a decent person should be the norm and traditional values are not seen much these days. The day before, I went all over town getting goodies (charc, cheese, wine, fruit, wine, et al) to cover everything she'd told me she liked so we could have lots of options. I got to the park and we instantly hit it off, found a nice bench and had a lot of fun getting to know each other with good conversation, food, wine, laughter and eventually making out, which was wonderful. I told her I really liked our day and was willing to set time for her to keep hanging out, and that if she was down I would be back next weekend and get an Airbnb. I didn't just want to assume I could invite myself over to her house without her specifically being open to it and asking me so she wouldn't feel pressured. She was completely on board and I drove back home feeling really happy and excited. She wrote me back saying "so next week, we have some things to discuss. Really just one thing, but if we are going to continue spending time together it's important information. You should know that I have HSV. And I know that would give me pause, so I understand if that's a dealbreaker for you." I told her that it's not, and that I trusted she had a handle on it, and thanked her for being transparent . To which she said she definitely did have a handle on it. She sends me a picture of her and her mom when she was a baby so I could see how much she looks like her, it was her mom breastfeeding her "which is probably an overshare" to which I said not to worry and thank you for sharing that with me. I shared a picture of my mom so she could see the resemblance as well in return. Monday rolls around and she sends me a little video of her at work looking cute, had a little bit of texting back and forth and the rest of the day no further contact. She usually would text me after work when she'd free up and we talked till we called it a day, which was happening for at least a week before we even met in person. I sent her a trailer for a series we talked about, telling her to watch season 1 and I'd save season 2 to watch it together. No reply. This morning still no communication. I figured she was busy so I went ahead and booked the Airbnb for this weekend. Not 10 minutes go by after that that she texts me saying "I'm not sure we should hang out this week" I replied with "Really? ooof just booked the Airbnb, What's up? Sorry, I should've asked you" To which she replied "I'm just feeling sick, and frankly, I'm not sure if the attraction's mutual" To which I said "Oh wow. Didn't seem that way on Sunday. What changed? Just trying to understand." She wrote me back saying "Just a little reflection. I like your attention but the it would be disingenuous." Those words. Confusing. I answered "The it?" And she says "Sorry, brain fog. I am quite sick." I told her "Hmm ok. Hope you feel better. I'd be grateful if you could clear it up when you're up for it." I want to give her the benefit of the doubt because I really did feel good chemistry when we spent the day together, but part of me is saying that I'm simping and to let it go. I'm losing my trust in women and I feel very sad about it. I'd already erased the dating apps as soon as I got home that day because I thought I found someone worth investing my time with. We really did hit it off when we met, talked about making plans together and I really felt this was heading somewhere positive.
Dating sucks and as much as I really am making an effort nothing seems to stick. A similar situation happened about a month ago with another lady who at first seemed very invested and then just lost interest. By no means trying to put myself as a victim here and if anything writing it down helped me process so if you read so far thank you and if it relates to anything you've been through just want to say you're not alone.
TL;DR thought I really hit it off with a lady that gave me all the signs it was mutual down to making plans together and she pulled a 180º.
submitted by taptheflow to datingoverforty [link] [comments]
Dating sucks and as much as I really am making an effort nothing seems to stick. A similar situation happened about a month ago with another lady who at first seemed very invested and then just lost interest. By no means trying to put myself as a victim here and if anything writing it down helped me process so if you read so far thank you and if it relates to anything you've been through just want to say you're not alone.
TL;DR thought I really hit it off with a lady that gave me all the signs it was mutual down to making plans together and she pulled a 180º.
2024.05.14 19:43 gojeee_0 I hate muskan karia so much
As the title says i fucking hate her Like when i saw her for first time i was like fuck this is new that's some nice shit I'll support her but now she's so annoying she tries to be cute and her script is too sexualized like can't she write a non sexual but funny script
I can't tell someone how to dress but she knows who's her audience
I'm so salty about this I've decided once my exams are over I'm gonna start a Instagram handle/ yt channel and out grow her
submitted by gojeee_0 to IndianTeenagers [link] [comments]
I can't tell someone how to dress but she knows who's her audience
I'm so salty about this I've decided once my exams are over I'm gonna start a Instagram handle/ yt channel and out grow her
2024.05.14 19:24 Individual-Manner-67 STA rewrite attempt
A couple of years ago I tried writing my own version of Stones Abbigale. I never got past the first couple scenes, but I'm considering returning to it. I wanted to basically rewrite and change up a lot of things, mainly focusing on Abbi and Davis and changing some elements. Let me know what you think!
1It's almost four in the morning and Seth is threatening suicide again. Good. Fuck him. I hope he does it. I don't text him that because I read about this girl who told her boyfriend to kill himself. The irony was that when he actually did it she got charged with second degree murder. My life is fucked as it is I don't need to make it worse. It's almost two in the morning and I have to be up for school in a few hours. I’m shivering under my comforter because we’re halfway through November. I think about the turkey that won't get made this year and the family I won't see. I think that's swell. Seth is still texting.
Its like u dont even care after everything that happened and after everything we did together i saved ur life and i stayed with u when u cried and i hugged u and i did everything for u but that wasn't enough was it? i try so hard and all u ever are is a bitch to me that's not fair u want me to die and u hate me and u dont even care and im sick of it abbi why is is so hard for u to care about me?
I don't respond. I don't like how I feel about this. This should be easy. He won't actually do it. He won't. He’s too self involved to kill himself. I put my phone face down on my bed. The sheets shake around it as he sends message after message. I was sleeping on a ticking bomb so I got off of it. My feet stick to the floor, I struggle to step. I might as well have been standing barefoot on ice. I trudge to my window so I can see my street at night. Winter is really coming. You can't hear as many birds as you used to. They've all gone. They've all flown away. I can see three streetlights from where I’m standing. If you can from right to left you can see the concrete fracture into the sand. I open my window and brace for the chill. I stick my head outside. The ocean is not far away. I hear it hitting the shore over and over. Waves of water splashing incessantly, almost beating out my text notifications. The street lights flicker. I think of last summer. When Seth and I got really high after the news broke that my Mom was cheating on my Dad. I was making out with that bong. Emptying bowl after bowl, clanking the glass on the road to empty it out. Just thinking about it makes me feel the street pole against my back again. I was laughing and crying. Seth leaned in and hugged me. “I’m a sure thing,” he said. “I love you and I always will.” I caught my reflection in his sunglasses. I looked awful. I shiver at the memory. My phone is still buzzing. I try to catch my breath. I shut my window and start to walk back to my bed. A room always looks different in the dark. Maybe you think you know where you are, but there is always something that can jump out at you on the floor. Like a ghostly paper bag or a vengeful shoe. Objects that seem to move on their own with the sole drive of tripping you. I crawl back into bed. There's the phantom of Dad’s snoring . I know he's not sleeping in his room, he fell asleep on the couch after finishing his seventh fifth. Sometimes my brain fills in the gaps so I can hear it everywhere. Funnily, I haven't actually heard him snore since Mom left. That's the one thing I ever heard them fight about. Before she turned out to be a whore, I guess. BZZT.BZZT.BZZT. I can't bring myself to read any of his messages. They're coming so fast all the paragraphs are lost to motion blur. Seth’s arms wrap around me and I think about the beating of his heart and the warmth of his lips against my skin. I open up the texts, ready to respond.
I love you
I text this over and over until I fall asleep.
The bus pulls into the school lot with a short stop. The mobs get up and begin to race out. Davis follows James down the line. “You know Abbi?” James asks. Davis feels a little pit form in his stomach, but he doesn't change his expression. “Vaguely, what about her?” “She's in my art class,” James begins. “And I think … well you know, I’m going to talk to her.” He walks down the steps and out the door. “Doesn't she have a boyfr-” before Davis can descend the driver's arm blocks him. “I’ve had enough of your shit, kid,” he says. “If you keep being obnoxious, I’m gonna find a way to make you pay for it.” James looks back, but he can't stay. Davis knows that he's gotta get to class. James does a little wave goodbye and Davis salutes him. “Are you even listening to me?” the bus driver seethes. “Yes, sir. Divine retribution, got it.” Davis ducks underneath his arm and exits the bus. James has already disappeared into the crowd.
I barrel into art class. I don't care if I reek, out of all the teachers I can tell Mrs. Stanley smokes the most. It would be hypocritical of her to care. It looks like I’m the first one. Weird. I check my phone. It's 8:45. Well, fuck. Looks like Ashley needs to fix her clock. Mrs. Stanley is at her desk. She looks at me knowingly. “Eager to create today, Abbi?” I just nod and sit at my desk. I’m really feeling it. I open up my precalc notebook and just start sketching. Birds, eyes, trees, whatever. Kids start coming in. Their chatter echoes around me, I try to focus on what I’m doing. Someone bumps into my table. I look up. It's this lanky blonde kid, I think his name is James. He presses his hands underneath the desk as he leans up to talk to me. “Eww!” He shouts. Some kids turn and laugh. I don't. I just stare at him. James goes red and sits next to the kid who pissed in a jar. Once an adequate amount of students are in the room, Mrs. Stanley starts her lesson slideshow. On the screen is a dirty urinal. “How many of you are familiar with this work by Marcel DuChamp?” she asks. At this point, Jason, the designated meathead jock, enters the room. “Sorry I’m late, Mrs. S,” he booms. He looks at the slide. “We building bathrooms today?” Mrs. Stanley glares at him. “Wouldn't you like that? Considering you spend all of your time in there.” “Whatever,” Jason brushes his mullet behind his ears. “No, not whatever. Would you like me to move you into the sophomore class with Davis? Believe it or not he's getting much better marks than you are getting in here.” Jason rolls his eyes and takes his place in the chair next to me. “Up to a little extra curricular activities before art, Abbi?” he motions a joint in his fingers. I scoff and go on my phone. There's another text from Seth.
sorry about last night
and
im reading it all right now that was fucked im sorry
I start to respond, but before I can Mrs. Stanley outstretches her hand. “Give me your phone, Miss Hagerty. I’m sick of giving you warnings.” I don't have the energy to fight, I just give it to her. “You can pick it up at the end of the day.” My jaw actually drops. Jason must have really set her off, she's not usually such a cunt to me. “Anyways, found art. What is it? Well, found art is the use of everyday objects to convey an altered meaning. It can be something you find on the street or something that once held value to you. For example, My Bed by Tracey Elim.” She pulls up a picture of a messy bed that looks suspiciously like my own. “So for your final unit of the semester, you will be making your own found art. I really want you to take this project a little more seriously than most of you have been taking this class. I’m giving you the privilege of picking your own partners, but I’d like to remind you to be thoughtful with your choice. This will be worth more for your grade.” I look around. I don't have any friends here. I toy around with the idea of asking Jason for convenience and he looks like he's about to pull that move. Behind me there's that James guy. He’s sheepishly looking at me. He seems kind of nice. Okay. I don't feel like getting up so I just turn around in my chair. “Hey James, wanna be partners?” He balks a bit and then smiles at me. “Yeah, totally,” He's beaming and it's somewhat endearing. Alex and I switch seats and now I’m next to him. “I’m gonna be real with you …” I begin. He stops and shifts a little. “I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing for this.” He regards me oddly. Like he's trying to piece me together. It doesn't bother me. “She said we have to bring in an object that's special to us and present it artistically basically,” he rubs his chin. Damn, I must be baked to hell. I didn't hear her saying that at all. “So got any stuffed animals we can cut up and make Lovecraftian monstrosities out of?” “I got a hamster cage, hold the hamster,” I say. It comes out kind of weird and I probably sound stupid, but he doesn't seem to care. “Let's make a fucking zoo.” “Perfect!” He’s kind of cute actually. In a way. Something about this feels fun. I realize the bell will ring soon. “So um,” I rip out a page of my precalc notebook, still fresh with my drawings. I scrawl out my number and push it to him. “Call me so we can figure out the project some more.” I pack up all my stuff and start to head out. I can feel him watching me and it's not that bad. “I sure will,” he says. Everything feels really groovy. There's a lightness now. I’m halfway out the door when I remember my phone. I can't believe that I just forgot about Seth. I think about begging for my phone, but I feel too above that. Still, something shakes the good feeling as the bell rings.
2024.05.14 19:17 SuperNovaMadz looking for penpals! 23F from New York!
hey everyone! i’m back writing again lol. my name is maddie and im 23 from New York. i’m really into creating my own cards and arts and crafts. i am also dabbling with wax sealing (giving it my best attempt) i also love to collect stickers and make little paper things.
I was reaching out on here bc i really want more people to write too esp those who want to send stickers and little arts and crafts things back and forth:). i am open to any person from anywhere in the world i do not mind buying international stamps. I also am open to people in the US! i just really want to connect with people all over the world.
some of my interests include: fashion, makeup, japanese culture, kawaii little cute items lol, crafts, ANIME!, flowers, everything feminine and dainty, running, nutrition, psychology, true crime, mysteries, surfing, the beach, movies etc! i also collect stickers!
please let me know if you are interested in being my penpal! you can message me directly here on reddit!
peace and happiness! -maddie
submitted by SuperNovaMadz to penpals [link] [comments]
I was reaching out on here bc i really want more people to write too esp those who want to send stickers and little arts and crafts things back and forth:). i am open to any person from anywhere in the world i do not mind buying international stamps. I also am open to people in the US! i just really want to connect with people all over the world.
some of my interests include: fashion, makeup, japanese culture, kawaii little cute items lol, crafts, ANIME!, flowers, everything feminine and dainty, running, nutrition, psychology, true crime, mysteries, surfing, the beach, movies etc! i also collect stickers!
please let me know if you are interested in being my penpal! you can message me directly here on reddit!
peace and happiness! -maddie
2024.05.14 19:16 missjthrwaway 28 [F4M] #Online / California looking friends maybe more.
labeling my post as SFW for now however that could change if I meet and click with the right person, but as of right now I’m just feeling this out and seeing how it goes!
I’m 28 soon to be 29 and I’m a mixed raced woman in Southern California! Black hair, brown eyes, fairly tall at 5’6-5’7 and I have a couple tattoos. I’m willing to share a SFW photo if and when I feel comfortable. I’d like to think I’m fairly cute though :)
I am employed and also a student studying psychology. When I’m not working or studying I enjoy hitting the gym, taking my dog out on walks and to the dog beach in San Diego, writing (I run a blog with a decent sized following but still fairly shy about it), reading and binge watching television. I also love trying new bars and coffee shops. I also love to travel and just got back from a trip to Ireland, I plan on going back and visiting Scotland as well next year.
I’m open to you being anywhere all I ask is you be around my age or older!
submitted by missjthrwaway to r4r [link] [comments]
I’m 28 soon to be 29 and I’m a mixed raced woman in Southern California! Black hair, brown eyes, fairly tall at 5’6-5’7 and I have a couple tattoos. I’m willing to share a SFW photo if and when I feel comfortable. I’d like to think I’m fairly cute though :)
I am employed and also a student studying psychology. When I’m not working or studying I enjoy hitting the gym, taking my dog out on walks and to the dog beach in San Diego, writing (I run a blog with a decent sized following but still fairly shy about it), reading and binge watching television. I also love trying new bars and coffee shops. I also love to travel and just got back from a trip to Ireland, I plan on going back and visiting Scotland as well next year.
I’m open to you being anywhere all I ask is you be around my age or older!
2024.05.14 19:06 Organic-Manner-2969 Ripper - Alfalfa Male (Season 3)
Hey all, I'm back. Been pretty busy over the last couple of weeks but I'll be back for now. Still working on Grand World Tour, and the release date will be announced shortly.
Ripper, Ripper, Ripper. The alfalfa male. Two sides of the same coin of RealRipper and FakeRipper. He was made so hateable in season one with the fart jokes, with the climax in episode 5, and mellowed out whilst still keeping his charm for the remaining episodes he was in. He had excellent dynamics with Chase and Zee. He contributed in challenges in an unique way, such as when he picked up Priya to go coast to coast for the skull and him and Chase teaming up in the very first challenge. Even during merge, his prowess shows where he was able to be one of the first to bring an egg back to Chris and almost won immunity the very next episode. In season 2, his character mellowed out a lot, and while he still had some of his charm, it was almost like he became a completely different person this season. He had a good first four episodes, with his peak being in the glass tile game where he got two right, but the last three he became Gidgette 2.0 with Axel, to distract Prileb (Notice how they were fixed in the finale.) All in all, still very humoring to watch this season.
Characterization:
Boy oh boy where do I even begin. Back in the Reboot, this man was very mean-spirited and gross to the point he would shamelessly pick on people. He will also use underhanded tactics to achieve victory, such as using Priya as a human shield and having Zee distract a cassowary only to leave him behind.
He shows off a more vulnerable and softer side when he forms a crush on Axel, whom he goes to great lengths to impress yet fails. He eventually succeeds and cares about her immensely, going against his mentality that caring about other people makes you look weak, to the point he chooses to leave with Axel when she's eliminated.
Plot/Story Ideas:
Some ideas that say it better than I could with Ripper, starting with u/Slayquil (Shout out to that one fanfic with Ripper and Axel's pregnancy). "I'd like to see his character arc finish. He already changed a lot from 1 to 2, so maybe 3 could close it out? I'd also want to see more of his friendships with Chase and Zee, and also more of the cute type of relationship he has with Axel later (not whatever the hell s2e7 was...that was uncomfy to watch). I've said it before but with the right writing, I feel like they have the potential to be really fun and certainly less toxic than Prileb." I'd love to see him close out his character for the first three episodes of the new season. It would be nice to see more of his interactions.
One big issue arises, which is how he outlasted Axel, and I really doubt that it'll happen for a third time. It's why, and due to his personality, that I do not see him going far.
Character Rankings:
I'm a really big fan of Ripper's character, and I find him rather underrated as far as the reboot goes. Aside from his fart jokes, his interactions are some of the best of this reboot, namely coming from the Trout Trio and Axel. He was enjoyable to watch with his demeanor showing off a change of pace from what we usually see from the show, and hes portrayed as such. Season 2 has a lot of issues, starting from his interactions being less interesting (which is a Rematch problem), and was flanderized in his final few episodes. His relationship with Axel, while the build-up being interesting, came off rather rushed in the sense that Rippers character kinda became a different person.
Personal Ranking: 10/16; Season 3 placement: Early boot (14th-16th?)
Let me know your thoughts on Ripper as a character and potential plots he can have. Also let me know if I missed anything and leave a comment!
submitted by Organic-Manner-2969 to Totaldrama [link] [comments]
Ripper, Ripper, Ripper. The alfalfa male. Two sides of the same coin of RealRipper and FakeRipper. He was made so hateable in season one with the fart jokes, with the climax in episode 5, and mellowed out whilst still keeping his charm for the remaining episodes he was in. He had excellent dynamics with Chase and Zee. He contributed in challenges in an unique way, such as when he picked up Priya to go coast to coast for the skull and him and Chase teaming up in the very first challenge. Even during merge, his prowess shows where he was able to be one of the first to bring an egg back to Chris and almost won immunity the very next episode. In season 2, his character mellowed out a lot, and while he still had some of his charm, it was almost like he became a completely different person this season. He had a good first four episodes, with his peak being in the glass tile game where he got two right, but the last three he became Gidgette 2.0 with Axel, to distract Prileb (Notice how they were fixed in the finale.) All in all, still very humoring to watch this season.
Characterization:
Boy oh boy where do I even begin. Back in the Reboot, this man was very mean-spirited and gross to the point he would shamelessly pick on people. He will also use underhanded tactics to achieve victory, such as using Priya as a human shield and having Zee distract a cassowary only to leave him behind.
He shows off a more vulnerable and softer side when he forms a crush on Axel, whom he goes to great lengths to impress yet fails. He eventually succeeds and cares about her immensely, going against his mentality that caring about other people makes you look weak, to the point he chooses to leave with Axel when she's eliminated.
Plot/Story Ideas:
Some ideas that say it better than I could with Ripper, starting with u/Slayquil (Shout out to that one fanfic with Ripper and Axel's pregnancy). "I'd like to see his character arc finish. He already changed a lot from 1 to 2, so maybe 3 could close it out? I'd also want to see more of his friendships with Chase and Zee, and also more of the cute type of relationship he has with Axel later (not whatever the hell s2e7 was...that was uncomfy to watch). I've said it before but with the right writing, I feel like they have the potential to be really fun and certainly less toxic than Prileb." I'd love to see him close out his character for the first three episodes of the new season. It would be nice to see more of his interactions.
One big issue arises, which is how he outlasted Axel, and I really doubt that it'll happen for a third time. It's why, and due to his personality, that I do not see him going far.
Character Rankings:
I'm a really big fan of Ripper's character, and I find him rather underrated as far as the reboot goes. Aside from his fart jokes, his interactions are some of the best of this reboot, namely coming from the Trout Trio and Axel. He was enjoyable to watch with his demeanor showing off a change of pace from what we usually see from the show, and hes portrayed as such. Season 2 has a lot of issues, starting from his interactions being less interesting (which is a Rematch problem), and was flanderized in his final few episodes. His relationship with Axel, while the build-up being interesting, came off rather rushed in the sense that Rippers character kinda became a different person.
Personal Ranking: 10/16; Season 3 placement: Early boot (14th-16th?)
Let me know your thoughts on Ripper as a character and potential plots he can have. Also let me know if I missed anything and leave a comment!
2024.05.14 18:53 cursedracoonn Am I (16f) in the wrong for still clinging on to him (16m)
So I (16f) have made posts about my guy friend (16m) who I like a few times, and have got mixed reactions. But some time ago I decided it's best for me to just get over him and you know get it over with it. First, it used to make me blush, but now it's just me feeling bad. Which is the dark side of crushes
. I am getting over him pretty well but before I thought of this I had planned to give him a surprise which I told him to keep the suspense. So now I had to do it, but thought of it as a way to get over him fully, one last present. He has a dog named Buddy who I painted and the drawing looks absolutely gorgeous and cute because I put all my remaining feelings into it.
I sent the painting to him and he just LOVED it and just reading his messages was such a bliss. After he replied with four messages he would come back a few minutes later and write more messages, he just couldn't stop looking at it. As an artist that made me so happy but also reminded me of why I first started to like him.
One way to get over a person is to think about all the bad things about them but how can I when at a point I wanted that same person for their flaws ( No toxic flaws but general flaws)? I am still hanging onto him even though I know that he doesn't like me back (he doesn't want to date anyone) and also it's extra hard because he is my friend so I talk to him a lot. I have gotten rejected or over-crushes a few times, but idk why I am still hanging on to him. I have gotten many confessions in this period of time from many people and I have started talking to a wonderful guy, to get over him but I am not able to. At this point if it's not him I don't want to date. I know it sounds dumb trust me, I am angry at myself. It's just pathetic. How should I go about this now I am baffled.
submitted by cursedracoonn to AdviceForTeens [link] [comments]
. I am getting over him pretty well but before I thought of this I had planned to give him a surprise which I told him to keep the suspense. So now I had to do it, but thought of it as a way to get over him fully, one last present. He has a dog named Buddy who I painted and the drawing looks absolutely gorgeous and cute because I put all my remaining feelings into it.
I sent the painting to him and he just LOVED it and just reading his messages was such a bliss. After he replied with four messages he would come back a few minutes later and write more messages, he just couldn't stop looking at it. As an artist that made me so happy but also reminded me of why I first started to like him.
One way to get over a person is to think about all the bad things about them but how can I when at a point I wanted that same person for their flaws ( No toxic flaws but general flaws)? I am still hanging onto him even though I know that he doesn't like me back (he doesn't want to date anyone) and also it's extra hard because he is my friend so I talk to him a lot. I have gotten rejected or over-crushes a few times, but idk why I am still hanging on to him. I have gotten many confessions in this period of time from many people and I have started talking to a wonderful guy, to get over him but I am not able to. At this point if it's not him I don't want to date. I know it sounds dumb trust me, I am angry at myself. It's just pathetic. How should I go about this now I am baffled.
2024.05.14 18:26 filmmaker08042005 I Destroyed My School And College Life And I Deserve To Be Alone Forever.
I (19M) was always lonely throughout my life. I never had friends in school and never took part in any co-curricular activities. I would be jealous of my classmates with them hanging out with friends and being able to talk to girls, so I decided that after my high school I will try to make friends in college.
In college I met a group of people who I thought could be my friends. We would talk and have fun together. We would joke about each other. Even there were 2 girls in our group and with their friendly nature made me comfortable to talk to girls. Even there was a guy in the group who I would hangout with a lot. We would sit together and go to eat food together in the canteen or outside college.
I even started talking to a girl. She was really sweet and cute to talk to and we would bitch about our professors and at once shared playlists with each other. She was the one who asked me for my Insta ID. She would look and smile at me and wave at me. It was amazing. I thought my college life is going to be way better than my school life.
But it all came crashing down. In October me and my friends bunked our classes and went to the sports arena to play games. We were playing darts. One of the 2 girls, let's call her S, jokingly told one of the guys in our group that she would hit him on his head with a dart. So I jokingly told her that I would hit her with the dart but I accidentally pointed at her breast. I was looking at her face so I didn't realize it.
She got offended. She took the other girl, let's call her Z, and told her everything about this. Z confronted me and started shouting at me in the sports arena attracting everybody's attention. The Sports Officer came running towards us. He heard the entire story and took my ID card and told them to write a letter against me to the Dean.
After the letter was written he took me and the girls to the Dean who thought of this as a minor incident and told us we are legally adults and coming to him with these petty complaints. Then they told the Dean about me taking photographs of them and leaking them.
The day before I clicked S's photos of her eating a banana in the presence of our friend group. She took it very sportingly as a joke and I uploaded them to our personal Whatsapp Group. Everyone of us including her were laughing and giggling. But she and Z told that I took them without permission. They even told that I was never a friend and I was an outsider.
Dean got me suspended for 15 days because the next day our vacation would start so throughout November I was in my home. My mother uses this incident as a weapon to scold me evey now and then when we have arguments. And the worst was my crush.
During the days of my suspension I was in contact with my crush. She would even send notes of the classes of that day everyday throughout the suspension, but she didn't know I got suspended. Then when I rejoined college and started attending classes I sat far to my former friend group and behind my crush and she ignored me. Completely.
Throughout the whole day she would ignore me. That broke my heart. I was very upset and regretful for my actions. I think that my crush stopped taking to me because she got to know about this incident and misunderstood me. I have been hating myself for not respecting boundaries. Now I am all alone seeing my classmates enjoying their friendships and relationships. I think I deserve this.
submitted by filmmaker08042005 to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]
In college I met a group of people who I thought could be my friends. We would talk and have fun together. We would joke about each other. Even there were 2 girls in our group and with their friendly nature made me comfortable to talk to girls. Even there was a guy in the group who I would hangout with a lot. We would sit together and go to eat food together in the canteen or outside college.
I even started talking to a girl. She was really sweet and cute to talk to and we would bitch about our professors and at once shared playlists with each other. She was the one who asked me for my Insta ID. She would look and smile at me and wave at me. It was amazing. I thought my college life is going to be way better than my school life.
But it all came crashing down. In October me and my friends bunked our classes and went to the sports arena to play games. We were playing darts. One of the 2 girls, let's call her S, jokingly told one of the guys in our group that she would hit him on his head with a dart. So I jokingly told her that I would hit her with the dart but I accidentally pointed at her breast. I was looking at her face so I didn't realize it.
She got offended. She took the other girl, let's call her Z, and told her everything about this. Z confronted me and started shouting at me in the sports arena attracting everybody's attention. The Sports Officer came running towards us. He heard the entire story and took my ID card and told them to write a letter against me to the Dean.
After the letter was written he took me and the girls to the Dean who thought of this as a minor incident and told us we are legally adults and coming to him with these petty complaints. Then they told the Dean about me taking photographs of them and leaking them.
The day before I clicked S's photos of her eating a banana in the presence of our friend group. She took it very sportingly as a joke and I uploaded them to our personal Whatsapp Group. Everyone of us including her were laughing and giggling. But she and Z told that I took them without permission. They even told that I was never a friend and I was an outsider.
Dean got me suspended for 15 days because the next day our vacation would start so throughout November I was in my home. My mother uses this incident as a weapon to scold me evey now and then when we have arguments. And the worst was my crush.
During the days of my suspension I was in contact with my crush. She would even send notes of the classes of that day everyday throughout the suspension, but she didn't know I got suspended. Then when I rejoined college and started attending classes I sat far to my former friend group and behind my crush and she ignored me. Completely.
Throughout the whole day she would ignore me. That broke my heart. I was very upset and regretful for my actions. I think that my crush stopped taking to me because she got to know about this incident and misunderstood me. I have been hating myself for not respecting boundaries. Now I am all alone seeing my classmates enjoying their friendships and relationships. I think I deserve this.
2024.05.14 18:15 Many-Patient2894 I think my cousin was replaced, and I think I know when it happened. I don't know what to do
To be honest, I wasn't sure that the Advice sub would let me post this there so I'm posting it here because it's so fucked up. And it didn't seem right for Let's Not Meet, either. But I do need advice, because I feel I'm losing my fucking mind.
So I (30F) have always been very close to my cousin (30F), let's call her Angela. Because we're the same age, our parents (my mom and her father are siblings) went through all the same stages with us and as such, we were more or less raised like siblings due to how much time our families spent together.
We even had homes in the country in the same township, which is where I think this happened. And I can't really tell my family this because it will make me sound legitimately crazy. And some part of me even doubts this memory, but at the same time I know in my heart that it's true. It's a complicated feeling, and this memory was brought to light last week when my suspicion I've had for years was more or less confirmed.
One winter, sixteen years ago, when Angela and I were both fourteen, both of our families were at our cottages, a twenty minute drive from each other. Angela and her little brother (my cousin, let's call him James) parents (my aunt and uncle) were going skiing one morning, and I wanted to go too. So I spent the night at their cottage, like I often did when we all went up north.
Angela's bedroom had two single beds in it, and James' room was down the hall. The whole house was open concept, so the hall from Angela's room to James' room did not have walls, but rather was bordered by two railings over which you could see down into the main floor, the open concept living and dining rooms.
James is four years younger than us, and when he was 10, he was such a typical little boy/little brother, it's almost cartoonish to look back on. Like, I'm talking *constantly* bothering us, putting a stink bomb on a remote control car that he would sneak into our rooms, trying to read Angela's diary when we weren't in her bedroom, just all the stuff. But never anything cruel or out of the ordinary or sinister, just a massive handful.
The basement of James and Angela's cottage was filled with storage and old toys, and sometimes (on the rare occasion) that we'd willingly play with James, we'd all go down to the basement and try to freak each other out. Anyway, one of the toys in the basement was your typical Raggedy-Ann doll from the 60s or something. I think it belonged to my uncle when he was a kid and then Angela when she was a baby. Her name was Trilly. I forget who named it. Anyway, I have vague memories of playing with it when we were much younger and pretending it was our third cousin or our little daughter. But since then she'd sat in storage in the basement.
But, what great nightmare material! Right?! A creepy, limp, smiling doll. So the night I stayed over, before we went skiing in the morning, James, Angela and I were up to our playing in the basement, and I remember we tried to freak James out by pretending Trilly was alive or something like that. Whatever. Game over, we all had dinner with the parents, then watched a movie as a family and went to bed. James to his room and Angela and me to Angela's room.
Now this is the thing. Angela and I still joke about this night, and she remembers it just like I do, which is why I sort of wrote off my hypothesis until last week. That night, in the middle of the night, I started tossing and turning. I woke up and could tell that Angela was stirring as well. One of us said to the other, "are you awake?" and the other said "yes," and we realized that we both couldn't sleep or were woken up by the same thing or were both just feeling restless. But then, at the other end of her room, Trilly was sitting in the fucking desk chair.
I think it was Angela who pointed it out. We saw a shadow, thinking it was a person, freaked out, and then relaxed briefly when we saw it was just the doll. But then we got freaked out all over again and were like, "why the FUCK is this FUCKING doll in your room!?!?", murderously standing up and going over to it to pick it up and throw it in James' room and pound the living Christ out of him.
We turn on all the lights, turn on the hall light, stomp down the hall into his room and turn on his lights, and see he's not in his bed. We then go downstairs (my aunt and uncle's room was on the main floor), Trilly still in Angela's hands, and hear my aunt and James in the washroom. Turns out James had been sick for the last few hours and my aunt had been up all night with him as he was throwing up in the washroom. And when we saw the scene we immediately could tell that James had nothing to do with Trilly. Like, it was just one of those really believable situations where we could tell James truly had no idea what was going on. We even felt bad for him. And, to top it off, when we told him the story in the morning it scared him so much that he didn't go into the basement for like a year. Anyway, it just seemed really sincere.
So Angela and I went back up to her room and we were like, "are we *sure* we didn't bring this up here last night? Are we sure? We must have." Anyway, while we were really freaked, we figured that it was explainable. We knew the doll obviously didn't walk itself upstairs like it was some horror movie. But, because we were fourteen and all for the drama (and I remember us having the "better safe than sorry" mindset) we called her dog upstairs (Bella, a poorly behaved black poodle). We started playing tug-of-war with Bella, using Trilly as the toy, and eventually Bella ripped her to shreds.
Anyway, funny memory, making the dog rip up the doll, we laughed and thought we were tough and cool, then we went back to bed.
The next morning, instead of all of us going skiing, it was just Me, Angela, and my Uncle, because James stayed home with my aunt on account of his stomach flu. But when we woke up, Angela was acting weird. Nothing too noteable, just really bizarrely quiet as she moved around her room to get her clothes out of her drawers and get changed. She didn't, like, acknowledge me in her room. I said something like "morning" when she didn't acknowledge me, and she looked at me and then turned back to her drawers and kept getting changed.
And she was looking around weirdly, I remember that too. Almost like she'd misplaced something, but a little more dazed than that. Just moving strangely. Then she went downstairs without saying anything to me at all. I thought maybe she was just super groggy... but it still felt really weird.
When I went downstairs, she was standing at the island in the kitchen buttering toast that my uncle had put in for us. I distinctly remember walking up beside her and the toaster, pulling a piece of toast out of it, putting it on the plate that had been set out for me, and when I dipped the knife into the container of butter, Angela smacked my hand away, hard, and looked at me and snapped, "what are you doing? Don't take things that aren't yours". I was shocked. It honestly felt like being struck in the face. She'd never spoken to me like that before, and even though we were like siblings, I still felt that kind of mortifying embarrassment you feel when someone calls you out on misbehaving, even though I wasn't doing anything wrong; but it *was* her family's butter and bread? I don't know. That's what I remember thinking. But it was awkward and weird and I just said, "um, what?" and then she didn't say anything, just kept buttering her toast, and I mumbled some apology.
The three of us then drove to the ski hill and, I kid you not, Angela and I didn't speak the whole way there. I had no idea what was up, but I didn't want to ask with her dad in the car.
Then when we got to the ski hill, we went skiing just the two of us and on the chairlift during the first run I mustered up the courage to say "Hey, did I do something wrong? I feel like you're really mad at me or something". And she turned to look at me and was confused. Not friendly, not warm, not reassuring, but confused. It was almost as if I was a stranger and she looked at me as if to say, "sorry, who are you? why are you talking to me?"
And she responded in a formal way: "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about". The distance in her voice was really eerie, and I started to think maybe this had to do with the doll incident the night before and either she was trying to extend the prank, and she was the one who had put the doll on the chair, OR she felt guilty that we ruined this family doll and she resented me for being a part of it. Anyway, when we got to the top of the hill, she skied down quickly and didn't wait for me to go back up again, and we ended up skiing separately.
I felt awkward and embarrassed like I'd done something wrong. I ended up skiing with my uncle who asked me what was up with us, and I just said I didn't know. Then after our day of skiing, he dropped me off at my family's cottage and continued on home with Angela.
For the rest of that whole school year (we were in ninth grade), Angela and I didn't really speak. It was really sad. We were like sisters before, but better because we weren't actually sisters, but cousins, and so we were like best friends that were related. Seriously, we were really close. And it really messed me up, I felt like she just ghosted me. I would text her and call her house but she was always "fine" or "with Jessica" (her best friend). I chalked it up to her just outgrowing me, and it really fucking sucked. But, to be honest, it was so jarring and such a stark shift that I was more confused than hurt. I talked to my mom about it and she explained to me how rough it can be to be a teenage girl.
But that following summer, we were up at our cottages again, and our family had a barbecue and invited over my aunt and uncle and Angela and James. I had seen Angela at family things a couple of times since and she would just kind of ignore me and spend the whole time texting, which is what I expected this time.
Sure enough, that's what happened for the first bit of the barbecue. But then when the food was ready, she came up beside me as we were dressing our hamburgers at the condiment table and said, "oh my god, remember that night we got Bella to ruin Trilly?" and I was so shocked by her friendly tone, by her acting as though she were picking up a conversation we just were having, that I just stared at her and said, "yeah, that was crazy". And she said, "yeah, so funny. Anyway, how've you been?" again, really different and formal. I almost couldn't get past how altered her tone was, like we'd never even met. In fact she seemed so sprightly and kind that I thought she was mocking me.
And our relationship since that barbecue carried on just like that. She started talking to me more, but I'd reference inside jokes or ways we used to be or things we used to do and she never really latched on to any of them. I was caught between thinking she'd outgrown me and thinking she was like embarrassed of our closeness before or something and was trying to move on. I talked to my mom about this, and again got the speech about how teenage girls can be really cruel/strange sometimes.
So until we were about 22, we were like that. Nice to each other, talking sometimes, not that close, and I learned to not try and act like we were all close or that we had been close. I talked to my friends about it too and they said it was normal for friendships to change like that. But something felt off about this. I started to honestly feel crazy for hanging on to this "before" memory of Angela so much.
Then when we were 22, we grew apart. This time, it was mutual and natural. I moved cities, and she got engaged and became a real estate agent and we just had nothing to talk about. It was gradual and I didn't notice it much. Which brings us to eight years later, just last week.
I was travelling in Iceland. I had to be there (very randomly) for a conference/workshop I was leading for work, and turned it into a vacation. Rented a car, decided I was going to drive across the island after the conference was over and stay on the east part and explore a bit.
Day four of my seven-day long road trip. It's mid-afternoon, I'm hungry. I've been driving for three hours and have come across no sign of civilization at all, and it was fifty miles to the next town. But then, voila! A little gas station/general store/cafe! Perfect!
Ah, fuck. I literally can't believe I'm writing this. It makes me sound fucking crazy. But here I go.
I park in the little three-car parking lot. I get out of my car, step onto the gravel, the sky is white, expansive, there are mountains everywhere around me, fields, sheep. The air is fresh. Seriously middle of nowhere. I walk up the wooden rickety steps and push open the door and hear the door chimes go. A man walks out from the back room and greets me, and the place is cute. There's a little handwritten menu above the cash register and I asked him in my pathetic Icelandic/English mix if I could have the gravlax toast. He's very friendly and kind and says yes, asks if I want a coffee, I say yes please, blah blah, he rings me up at the cash register, and I go and sit at the one table they have and wait for my food.
I look around - it's mostly a fishing supplies store with some general groceries. The man opens the door to the room from which he came, the kitchen I suppose, and says the order to the lady in the back who looks like she's doing some prep cooking. Immediately I stop. It's freaking Angela!!!! Or I thought it was.
Now, remember, I hadn't seen Angela in about eight years. Since her dad passed away when we were twenty-three, and because I'd moved cities, we just had no reason to really see each other especially after growing so far apart.
So, like, OH MY GOD, it's Angela! She's working at a random little general store in middle-of-nowhere Iceland! But wait, I thought. No. This is obviously not-fucking-Angela. Angela is a real estate agent in my hometown. I'd obviously know if she lived in Iceland lol. Right? I don't really use social media but the odd time I do, she'll pop up here and there. But I guess not enough for me to *confirm* she still lived in my hometown.
But anyway, she looked enough like Angela that I went right up to the cash register and rang the little bell and the guy came back out and when he opened the door I was able to get another look at her, and my heart skidded. A chill spread across my crown. It was one hundred percent Angela. Like, my full-on cousin. So, looking over the guys' shoulder, RIGHT AT ANGELA, I smile and say, "Angela!! Oh my god!!" and before she could respond, the door shut again.
And the guy at the cash smiled really big, a nice, friendly, smile and he looked surprised as well, and pointed back over his shoulder and then at me, as if to say, "you two know each other?!" which confirmed for me that her name was Angela, because he seemed really delighted at the coincidence. Expecting her to emerge from the kitchen, I walked around to behind the cash register (the invitation was implied by the guy) and he put his arm back to open the door for me, or for Angela, whom we both expected to be making her way over to me, too.
When he opened the door, she was head-down again, chopping vegetables. I walked through the door and said, "Angela? Angela!" smiling, thinking she hadn't seen me yet or realized who I was, all context considered. She looked up at me, and then quickly, as though avoiding my eyes, looked down. "Hey", she said, quietly, at the cutting board.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? Before I could ask anything, she said, "I'm really sorry, okay?"
What?
She repeated herself and then continued: "I'm really sorry okay? But we can't talk".
I actually, like, had no clue what was happening. I was looking into the eyes of my cousin whom I hadn't seen in forever in some random fucking shack in Iceland and she was acting skittish and afraid. I opened my mouth to protest and she said, "I need you to leave," then she called the guy's name and said something to him in Icelandic. She can speak Icelandic??!
The guy came in, his demeanour totally different. Almost like he was a bouncer. He gestured to my coffee and toast that were ready to go, took them in his hands and ushered me out of the kitchen and I could tell I no longer was welcome. Either I wasn't welcome or I was in danger, or both. It felt more like the former. And I don't think the guy had any idea what was going on, either. I think she must have said something to him like "I don't know this person, this person is crazy" or something. That's how he was acting toward me.
I got in my car, I drove five minutes down the road, and pulled over. I miraculously had service and I called my mom and told her everything. She kind of just laughed at me and was like "Many-Patient2894, that obviously wasn't Angela". And joked about me making some poor Icelandic woman feel extremely weird. But based off the guy's reaction when I said her name, her name was Angela, and the way she spoke to me and said sorry and said we couldn't talk, like, she knew me too. I told my mom all of this and I sounded fucking crazy and she just was basically like, "Haha, yeah, weird". I think she thinks I was making up the part about the apology.
I told all of my friends this, when I was still in Iceland, and they all reacted like my mom did. At this point, I had four days left in the country, and I kept wanting to return to the cafe/general store. But I didn't. I started to think maybe the woman thought I was someone else. But then I kept coming back to, but wait, this person was Angela. Her name, her body, her face, like I just didn't know what to do.
This brings me to two days ago, the day before yesterday, when I returned to Canada, where I live. It's eight o'clock in the morning and I'm on my way to work. In my car. Just picked up a coffee. Exhausted. Not thinking about Angela at all. Thinking about my laundry, my bills, what I'm going to make for dinner. The traffic is bad and it's a miserable day outside.
My phone dings. It's a random number. The text reads: "Hey! It's Angela! How was your trip?"
Haven't heard from her in eight years (except for our run-in in Iceland, if indeed it was one). No "how have you been??", no "I miss you!!" no "long time no talk/see!". I also hadn't posted anything about my trip on social media. Unless you were a friend of mine, you didn't know I was there.
I immediately call my mom, who follows Angela on Instagram, and ask her to look at her profile. Sure enough, Angela (not at all to my mother's surprise), is posting stories of the bachelorette party she's at in Miami. She's, like, not at all in Iceland.
I have no idea what's going on. And the way Angela/the woman spoke to me in the cafe had the cadence and softness that Angela had, and in my memory, lost, starting the morning of the skiing after the incident with Trilly and the dog. For some reason I'm fully back there in my memory now, realizing that that was the first morning of "the new Angela", the one that seemed to have no emotional memory of me at all. Like, the Iceland Angela seemed more like the "before" Angela.
I haven't replied to the text. I have no idea if it was bachelorette party Miami Angela or Iceland Angela that sent me the message, the area code is from neither Angela's hometown or Iceland.
I need advice, I have no idea what to do or who to talk to. Do I reply to the text? What do I say? I feel like the real Angela is fucking trapped in Iceland or something and has been for a long time. Or I don't even know. I have no idea what to do.
submitted by Many-Patient2894 to nosleep [link] [comments]
So I (30F) have always been very close to my cousin (30F), let's call her Angela. Because we're the same age, our parents (my mom and her father are siblings) went through all the same stages with us and as such, we were more or less raised like siblings due to how much time our families spent together.
We even had homes in the country in the same township, which is where I think this happened. And I can't really tell my family this because it will make me sound legitimately crazy. And some part of me even doubts this memory, but at the same time I know in my heart that it's true. It's a complicated feeling, and this memory was brought to light last week when my suspicion I've had for years was more or less confirmed.
One winter, sixteen years ago, when Angela and I were both fourteen, both of our families were at our cottages, a twenty minute drive from each other. Angela and her little brother (my cousin, let's call him James) parents (my aunt and uncle) were going skiing one morning, and I wanted to go too. So I spent the night at their cottage, like I often did when we all went up north.
Angela's bedroom had two single beds in it, and James' room was down the hall. The whole house was open concept, so the hall from Angela's room to James' room did not have walls, but rather was bordered by two railings over which you could see down into the main floor, the open concept living and dining rooms.
James is four years younger than us, and when he was 10, he was such a typical little boy/little brother, it's almost cartoonish to look back on. Like, I'm talking *constantly* bothering us, putting a stink bomb on a remote control car that he would sneak into our rooms, trying to read Angela's diary when we weren't in her bedroom, just all the stuff. But never anything cruel or out of the ordinary or sinister, just a massive handful.
The basement of James and Angela's cottage was filled with storage and old toys, and sometimes (on the rare occasion) that we'd willingly play with James, we'd all go down to the basement and try to freak each other out. Anyway, one of the toys in the basement was your typical Raggedy-Ann doll from the 60s or something. I think it belonged to my uncle when he was a kid and then Angela when she was a baby. Her name was Trilly. I forget who named it. Anyway, I have vague memories of playing with it when we were much younger and pretending it was our third cousin or our little daughter. But since then she'd sat in storage in the basement.
But, what great nightmare material! Right?! A creepy, limp, smiling doll. So the night I stayed over, before we went skiing in the morning, James, Angela and I were up to our playing in the basement, and I remember we tried to freak James out by pretending Trilly was alive or something like that. Whatever. Game over, we all had dinner with the parents, then watched a movie as a family and went to bed. James to his room and Angela and me to Angela's room.
Now this is the thing. Angela and I still joke about this night, and she remembers it just like I do, which is why I sort of wrote off my hypothesis until last week. That night, in the middle of the night, I started tossing and turning. I woke up and could tell that Angela was stirring as well. One of us said to the other, "are you awake?" and the other said "yes," and we realized that we both couldn't sleep or were woken up by the same thing or were both just feeling restless. But then, at the other end of her room, Trilly was sitting in the fucking desk chair.
I think it was Angela who pointed it out. We saw a shadow, thinking it was a person, freaked out, and then relaxed briefly when we saw it was just the doll. But then we got freaked out all over again and were like, "why the FUCK is this FUCKING doll in your room!?!?", murderously standing up and going over to it to pick it up and throw it in James' room and pound the living Christ out of him.
We turn on all the lights, turn on the hall light, stomp down the hall into his room and turn on his lights, and see he's not in his bed. We then go downstairs (my aunt and uncle's room was on the main floor), Trilly still in Angela's hands, and hear my aunt and James in the washroom. Turns out James had been sick for the last few hours and my aunt had been up all night with him as he was throwing up in the washroom. And when we saw the scene we immediately could tell that James had nothing to do with Trilly. Like, it was just one of those really believable situations where we could tell James truly had no idea what was going on. We even felt bad for him. And, to top it off, when we told him the story in the morning it scared him so much that he didn't go into the basement for like a year. Anyway, it just seemed really sincere.
So Angela and I went back up to her room and we were like, "are we *sure* we didn't bring this up here last night? Are we sure? We must have." Anyway, while we were really freaked, we figured that it was explainable. We knew the doll obviously didn't walk itself upstairs like it was some horror movie. But, because we were fourteen and all for the drama (and I remember us having the "better safe than sorry" mindset) we called her dog upstairs (Bella, a poorly behaved black poodle). We started playing tug-of-war with Bella, using Trilly as the toy, and eventually Bella ripped her to shreds.
Anyway, funny memory, making the dog rip up the doll, we laughed and thought we were tough and cool, then we went back to bed.
The next morning, instead of all of us going skiing, it was just Me, Angela, and my Uncle, because James stayed home with my aunt on account of his stomach flu. But when we woke up, Angela was acting weird. Nothing too noteable, just really bizarrely quiet as she moved around her room to get her clothes out of her drawers and get changed. She didn't, like, acknowledge me in her room. I said something like "morning" when she didn't acknowledge me, and she looked at me and then turned back to her drawers and kept getting changed.
And she was looking around weirdly, I remember that too. Almost like she'd misplaced something, but a little more dazed than that. Just moving strangely. Then she went downstairs without saying anything to me at all. I thought maybe she was just super groggy... but it still felt really weird.
When I went downstairs, she was standing at the island in the kitchen buttering toast that my uncle had put in for us. I distinctly remember walking up beside her and the toaster, pulling a piece of toast out of it, putting it on the plate that had been set out for me, and when I dipped the knife into the container of butter, Angela smacked my hand away, hard, and looked at me and snapped, "what are you doing? Don't take things that aren't yours". I was shocked. It honestly felt like being struck in the face. She'd never spoken to me like that before, and even though we were like siblings, I still felt that kind of mortifying embarrassment you feel when someone calls you out on misbehaving, even though I wasn't doing anything wrong; but it *was* her family's butter and bread? I don't know. That's what I remember thinking. But it was awkward and weird and I just said, "um, what?" and then she didn't say anything, just kept buttering her toast, and I mumbled some apology.
The three of us then drove to the ski hill and, I kid you not, Angela and I didn't speak the whole way there. I had no idea what was up, but I didn't want to ask with her dad in the car.
Then when we got to the ski hill, we went skiing just the two of us and on the chairlift during the first run I mustered up the courage to say "Hey, did I do something wrong? I feel like you're really mad at me or something". And she turned to look at me and was confused. Not friendly, not warm, not reassuring, but confused. It was almost as if I was a stranger and she looked at me as if to say, "sorry, who are you? why are you talking to me?"
And she responded in a formal way: "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about". The distance in her voice was really eerie, and I started to think maybe this had to do with the doll incident the night before and either she was trying to extend the prank, and she was the one who had put the doll on the chair, OR she felt guilty that we ruined this family doll and she resented me for being a part of it. Anyway, when we got to the top of the hill, she skied down quickly and didn't wait for me to go back up again, and we ended up skiing separately.
I felt awkward and embarrassed like I'd done something wrong. I ended up skiing with my uncle who asked me what was up with us, and I just said I didn't know. Then after our day of skiing, he dropped me off at my family's cottage and continued on home with Angela.
For the rest of that whole school year (we were in ninth grade), Angela and I didn't really speak. It was really sad. We were like sisters before, but better because we weren't actually sisters, but cousins, and so we were like best friends that were related. Seriously, we were really close. And it really messed me up, I felt like she just ghosted me. I would text her and call her house but she was always "fine" or "with Jessica" (her best friend). I chalked it up to her just outgrowing me, and it really fucking sucked. But, to be honest, it was so jarring and such a stark shift that I was more confused than hurt. I talked to my mom about it and she explained to me how rough it can be to be a teenage girl.
But that following summer, we were up at our cottages again, and our family had a barbecue and invited over my aunt and uncle and Angela and James. I had seen Angela at family things a couple of times since and she would just kind of ignore me and spend the whole time texting, which is what I expected this time.
Sure enough, that's what happened for the first bit of the barbecue. But then when the food was ready, she came up beside me as we were dressing our hamburgers at the condiment table and said, "oh my god, remember that night we got Bella to ruin Trilly?" and I was so shocked by her friendly tone, by her acting as though she were picking up a conversation we just were having, that I just stared at her and said, "yeah, that was crazy". And she said, "yeah, so funny. Anyway, how've you been?" again, really different and formal. I almost couldn't get past how altered her tone was, like we'd never even met. In fact she seemed so sprightly and kind that I thought she was mocking me.
And our relationship since that barbecue carried on just like that. She started talking to me more, but I'd reference inside jokes or ways we used to be or things we used to do and she never really latched on to any of them. I was caught between thinking she'd outgrown me and thinking she was like embarrassed of our closeness before or something and was trying to move on. I talked to my mom about this, and again got the speech about how teenage girls can be really cruel/strange sometimes.
So until we were about 22, we were like that. Nice to each other, talking sometimes, not that close, and I learned to not try and act like we were all close or that we had been close. I talked to my friends about it too and they said it was normal for friendships to change like that. But something felt off about this. I started to honestly feel crazy for hanging on to this "before" memory of Angela so much.
Then when we were 22, we grew apart. This time, it was mutual and natural. I moved cities, and she got engaged and became a real estate agent and we just had nothing to talk about. It was gradual and I didn't notice it much. Which brings us to eight years later, just last week.
I was travelling in Iceland. I had to be there (very randomly) for a conference/workshop I was leading for work, and turned it into a vacation. Rented a car, decided I was going to drive across the island after the conference was over and stay on the east part and explore a bit.
Day four of my seven-day long road trip. It's mid-afternoon, I'm hungry. I've been driving for three hours and have come across no sign of civilization at all, and it was fifty miles to the next town. But then, voila! A little gas station/general store/cafe! Perfect!
Ah, fuck. I literally can't believe I'm writing this. It makes me sound fucking crazy. But here I go.
I park in the little three-car parking lot. I get out of my car, step onto the gravel, the sky is white, expansive, there are mountains everywhere around me, fields, sheep. The air is fresh. Seriously middle of nowhere. I walk up the wooden rickety steps and push open the door and hear the door chimes go. A man walks out from the back room and greets me, and the place is cute. There's a little handwritten menu above the cash register and I asked him in my pathetic Icelandic/English mix if I could have the gravlax toast. He's very friendly and kind and says yes, asks if I want a coffee, I say yes please, blah blah, he rings me up at the cash register, and I go and sit at the one table they have and wait for my food.
I look around - it's mostly a fishing supplies store with some general groceries. The man opens the door to the room from which he came, the kitchen I suppose, and says the order to the lady in the back who looks like she's doing some prep cooking. Immediately I stop. It's freaking Angela!!!! Or I thought it was.
Now, remember, I hadn't seen Angela in about eight years. Since her dad passed away when we were twenty-three, and because I'd moved cities, we just had no reason to really see each other especially after growing so far apart.
So, like, OH MY GOD, it's Angela! She's working at a random little general store in middle-of-nowhere Iceland! But wait, I thought. No. This is obviously not-fucking-Angela. Angela is a real estate agent in my hometown. I'd obviously know if she lived in Iceland lol. Right? I don't really use social media but the odd time I do, she'll pop up here and there. But I guess not enough for me to *confirm* she still lived in my hometown.
But anyway, she looked enough like Angela that I went right up to the cash register and rang the little bell and the guy came back out and when he opened the door I was able to get another look at her, and my heart skidded. A chill spread across my crown. It was one hundred percent Angela. Like, my full-on cousin. So, looking over the guys' shoulder, RIGHT AT ANGELA, I smile and say, "Angela!! Oh my god!!" and before she could respond, the door shut again.
And the guy at the cash smiled really big, a nice, friendly, smile and he looked surprised as well, and pointed back over his shoulder and then at me, as if to say, "you two know each other?!" which confirmed for me that her name was Angela, because he seemed really delighted at the coincidence. Expecting her to emerge from the kitchen, I walked around to behind the cash register (the invitation was implied by the guy) and he put his arm back to open the door for me, or for Angela, whom we both expected to be making her way over to me, too.
When he opened the door, she was head-down again, chopping vegetables. I walked through the door and said, "Angela? Angela!" smiling, thinking she hadn't seen me yet or realized who I was, all context considered. She looked up at me, and then quickly, as though avoiding my eyes, looked down. "Hey", she said, quietly, at the cutting board.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? Before I could ask anything, she said, "I'm really sorry, okay?"
What?
She repeated herself and then continued: "I'm really sorry okay? But we can't talk".
I actually, like, had no clue what was happening. I was looking into the eyes of my cousin whom I hadn't seen in forever in some random fucking shack in Iceland and she was acting skittish and afraid. I opened my mouth to protest and she said, "I need you to leave," then she called the guy's name and said something to him in Icelandic. She can speak Icelandic??!
The guy came in, his demeanour totally different. Almost like he was a bouncer. He gestured to my coffee and toast that were ready to go, took them in his hands and ushered me out of the kitchen and I could tell I no longer was welcome. Either I wasn't welcome or I was in danger, or both. It felt more like the former. And I don't think the guy had any idea what was going on, either. I think she must have said something to him like "I don't know this person, this person is crazy" or something. That's how he was acting toward me.
I got in my car, I drove five minutes down the road, and pulled over. I miraculously had service and I called my mom and told her everything. She kind of just laughed at me and was like "Many-Patient2894, that obviously wasn't Angela". And joked about me making some poor Icelandic woman feel extremely weird. But based off the guy's reaction when I said her name, her name was Angela, and the way she spoke to me and said sorry and said we couldn't talk, like, she knew me too. I told my mom all of this and I sounded fucking crazy and she just was basically like, "Haha, yeah, weird". I think she thinks I was making up the part about the apology.
I told all of my friends this, when I was still in Iceland, and they all reacted like my mom did. At this point, I had four days left in the country, and I kept wanting to return to the cafe/general store. But I didn't. I started to think maybe the woman thought I was someone else. But then I kept coming back to, but wait, this person was Angela. Her name, her body, her face, like I just didn't know what to do.
This brings me to two days ago, the day before yesterday, when I returned to Canada, where I live. It's eight o'clock in the morning and I'm on my way to work. In my car. Just picked up a coffee. Exhausted. Not thinking about Angela at all. Thinking about my laundry, my bills, what I'm going to make for dinner. The traffic is bad and it's a miserable day outside.
My phone dings. It's a random number. The text reads: "Hey! It's Angela! How was your trip?"
Haven't heard from her in eight years (except for our run-in in Iceland, if indeed it was one). No "how have you been??", no "I miss you!!" no "long time no talk/see!". I also hadn't posted anything about my trip on social media. Unless you were a friend of mine, you didn't know I was there.
I immediately call my mom, who follows Angela on Instagram, and ask her to look at her profile. Sure enough, Angela (not at all to my mother's surprise), is posting stories of the bachelorette party she's at in Miami. She's, like, not at all in Iceland.
I have no idea what's going on. And the way Angela/the woman spoke to me in the cafe had the cadence and softness that Angela had, and in my memory, lost, starting the morning of the skiing after the incident with Trilly and the dog. For some reason I'm fully back there in my memory now, realizing that that was the first morning of "the new Angela", the one that seemed to have no emotional memory of me at all. Like, the Iceland Angela seemed more like the "before" Angela.
I haven't replied to the text. I have no idea if it was bachelorette party Miami Angela or Iceland Angela that sent me the message, the area code is from neither Angela's hometown or Iceland.
I need advice, I have no idea what to do or who to talk to. Do I reply to the text? What do I say? I feel like the real Angela is fucking trapped in Iceland or something and has been for a long time. Or I don't even know. I have no idea what to do.
2024.05.14 17:59 No_Cricket_6374 Do my letters to my family make sense?
Some of my family from Korea came to the US and we went to Las Vegas and Grand Canyon. I want to write them all letters. Did I write them ok?
submitted by No_Cricket_6374 to Korean [link] [comments]
미연언니 (older female cousin from my dad's side):
English You are so lively and funny! I love the way you talk and the stories you tell. Sharing the same room at Circus Circus was so fun even though you snore haha. When I go to Korea, please do my eyelashes and hair! And maybe learn some taekwondo from your husband that you love but don’t always like.————
I hope I can go to New Zealand soon and hang out with your children. If they are like you, I know I will have a lot of fun.
Korean 언니는 정말 활기차고 재미있어요! 언니의 말투와 이야기하는 방식이 너무 좋아요. 서커스 서커스에서 같은 방을 쓴 것도 너무 즐거웠어요, 비록 언니가 코를 골지만요 ㅎㅎㅎ. 제가 한국에 가면 언니가 제 속눈썹과 머리를 해 주세요! 그리고 언니가 사랑하지만 항상 좋아하지 않는 그 남편에게 태권도도 좀 배워야겠어요.
뉴질랜드에 빨리 가서 언니의 아이들과 놀고 싶어요. 아이들이 언니를 닮았다면 정말 재미있을 것 같아요!
소연언니(older female cousin from my dad's side):
English I hope you get more time to rest because you took care of not only your daughter, but also me. You and your sisters took care of me too much! Every time you were in the kitchen, I would hear “and what about for Julie?” I’m so thankful that you don’t judge me for being vegan and instead accept who I am. With that heart, I know your daughter will become a wonderful woman as she gets older. At the very least, she will have a loving and supportive mom.———
Korean 언니가 딸뿐만 아니라 저도 돌봐줘서 더 많이 쉴 시간이 생기길 바라요. 너와 네 언니의 저를 너무 많이 돌봐줬어요! 주방에 있을 때마다 "줄리는?"라는 말을 들었어요. 제가 비건이라는 걸 판단하지 않고 저를 있는 그대로 받아줘서 너무 감사해요. 그런 마음으로 언니의 딸도 나중에 멋진 여자가 될 거예요. 적어도 사랑과 지지를 듬뿍 받는 엄마가 있을 거예요.
혜연언니(older female cousin from my dad's side):
English The massage you gave me was so amazing haha! And the sauce for the soodubu too. Please share your recipe! I’m so happy I got to see more of your personality because it’s so fun and playful. I can see why my dad liked playing with you and your sisters back then. I also really enjoyed our conversation when we walked to the Bellagio fountain show. Even though I’m so bad at Korean, you were patient with me and didn’t make me feel ashamed for my broken Korean.
Korean 언니가 해 준 마사지는 정말 최고였어요 ㅋㅋㅋ! 그리고 순두부 소스도요. 레시피 좀 알려주세요! 언니의 성격을 더 알게 되어서 너무 기뻤어요. 정말 재미있고 장난기 많은 성격이네요. 왜 아빠가 예전에 언니들과 놀기를 좋아했는지 알겠어요. 벨라지오 분수 쇼로 걸어갈 때 우리의 대화도 정말 즐거웠어요. 제가 한국어를 잘 못하지만, 언니는 저에게 인내심을 가지고 부끄럽게 하지 않았어요.
————
큰엄마 (my uncle's wife on my dad's side):
English I was so cute to see you too shy to come inside the house for Mother’s Day until the rest of the family came. That made me realize how gentle and soft you are. And even though my Korean is really bad, you never made fun of me or got frustrated at me. You still continued to talk with me and ask me questions. I always get nervous when speaking Korean, especially with elders, but you remind me that I don’t need to be so fearful with family. Also, thank you for making all those side dishes! They were delicious and the best things I ate on the trip.——————
P.S: Thank you for taking care of grandma for so long. You have put in so much love and work for our family.
Korean 어머니의 날에 나머지 가족들이 올 때까지 집 안으로 들어오지 못할 정도로 부끄러워하는 모습을 보니 너무 귀여웠어요. 그 모습에서 큰엄마가 얼마나 부드럽고 온화한지 알게 되었어요. 제 한국어가 정말 서툴지만, 큰엄마는 절대 저를 놀리거나 화내지 않았어요. 여전히 저와 이야기하고 질문도 해주셨어요. 특히 어른들과 한국어로 대화할 때 긴장하는데, 큰엄마 덕분에 가족과는 그렇게 두려워할 필요 없다는 걸 깨달았어요. 또한 많은 반찬들 만들어 주셔서 감사해요! 정말 맛있었고 이번 여행에서 먹은 것 중 최고였어요.
P.S: 할머니를 오랫동안 돌봐주셔서 감사합니다. 우리 가족을 위해 많은 사랑과 노력을 쏟아주셨어요.
큰삼촌 (my mom's uncle):
English My dad and I were talking about how much we loved having you! Sometimes, I get more nervous with older adults because my Korean is so bad and I mess up on showing respect to Korean elders. But you never minded that and made me feel comfortable. And thank you for also driving so much and paying for that meal at Grand Canyon. I'm sorry you got pulled over by the cops for speeding, that must have been so scary. But you didn't seem worried at all. You being so calm about it made us all feel less bad. Also, you were the only one with enough strength to not complain about walking so much haha. When we meet again, let’s work out!———
Korean 아빠와 저는 큰삼촌과 함께 시간을 보낸 것이 너무 좋았다고 이야기했어요! 가끔 나이 많은 어른들과 함께 있을 때 제 한국어가 너무 서툴러서 존경을 제대로 표현하지 못할까봐 더 긴장되지만, 큰삼촌은 항상 편하게 대해 주셨어요. 그리고 많이 운전해 주시고 그랜드 캐니언에서 식사비를 내주셔서 감사합니다. 경찰에게 속도 위반으로 걸린 것 정말 무서웠을 텐데 죄송해요. 하지만 큰삼촌은 전혀 걱정하지 않는 것 같았어요. 큰삼촌이 그렇게 침착하게 대처해 주셔서 우리 모두 덜 불안했어요. 또한, 많이 걷는 것에 불평하지 않은 유일한 분이셨어요, 하하. 다음에 만날 때는 같이 운동해요!
작은고모 (my dad's sister):
English The massages you gave were one of the best parts of the trip haha. Also, just seeing your face, how you talk, how you move all made me so happy! Your cuteness brings me so much joy. And I’m glad you like to be around me because I love being around you. I wish I could have been with you more, but you always wanted to be next to 예진언니, like at the coaster ride, the Awakening show, and for sleeping. Next time, we have to sit next to each other and ride something together!
Korean 고모가 해 준 마사지는 여행 중 최고였어요 ㅎㅎㅎ. 그리고 고모의 얼굴을 보는 것, 말하는 것, 움직이는 모든 모습이 저를 너무 행복하게 했어요! 고모의 귀여움은 저에게 큰 기쁨을 줘요. 고모도 저와 함께 있는 걸 좋아한다고 해서 기뻐요. 더 함께 있고 싶었지만, 고모는 항상 예진 언니 옆에 있고 싶어 했어요, 롤러코스터 타기, 어웨이크닝 쇼, 잘 때도요. 다음 번에는 우리 서로 옆에 앉아서 무언가를 함께 타요!
————
예진언니 (my older female cousin on my dad's side):
English You take care of your mom so much. You are a great daughter. And also a great cousin to me. I really enjoyed our conversation at Grand Canyon. You are always open with me and easy to talk with. Also, I’m so happy you speak English haha. Speaking Korean takes so much effort for me, so when I was with you, I can rest a little more. I always feel comfortable around you. If I didn’t have you on this trip, I would have been way more stressed out. You’re just so awesome!————
But next time, let me ride with 작은고모 and sit next to her at a show. I really wanted to see her reactions haha.
Korean 언니는 어머니를 정말 많이 돌봐줘요. 언니는 정말 훌륭한 딸이에요. 그리고 저에게도 훌륭한 사촌이에요. 그랜드 캐니언에서의 대화가 정말 즐거웠어요. 언니는 항상 저에게 마음을 열고 이야기하기 편해요. 그리고 언니가 영어를 할 줄 알아서 정말 기뻤어요, 하하. 한국어를 하는 게 저에게는 힘든데, 언니와 함께 있을 때는 좀 더 쉴 수 있어요. 언니 덕분에 여행이 훨씬 덜 스트레스받았어요. 언니는 정말 멋져요!
하지만 다음 번에는 작은고모와 함께 타고 쇼에서도 고모 옆에 앉고 싶어요. 고모의 반응을 보고 싶었거든요, 하하.
한을 (my cousin's 8 year old daughter):
English We didn’t talk much because you’re still shy. But that’s ok, I understand. I’m a foreign stranger to you and you were the only child with 10 old people. It must have been a pretty boring trip for you, but thanks for not complaining too much haha. I’m really glad we got to ride that Canyon Coaster ride together. I loved seeing you so happy and lively. It was also funny when you told me I was going to fast and you were scared haha. It was also so cute to see you amazed at the Bellagio Fountain show. Seeing you get excited and happy made me excited and happy. Be good to your mom and aunts because they are very good to you. Sometimes they might get angry at you, like the time at Grand Canyon, but it’s because they want to protect you. Don’t be so shy next time we see each other. We can have more fun that way.
Korean 우리가 많이 대화하지 못했어요, 왜냐하면 한을이가 아직 부끄러워하니까요. 괜찮아요, 이해해요. 저는 한을이에게 낯선 외국인이고, 한을이는 10명의 어른들 사이에서 유일한 아이였으니까요. 한을이에게는 아마 좀 지루한 여행이었을 텐데, 불평 많이 하지 않아줘서 고마워요 ㅋㅋㅋ. 캐니언 코스터를 함께 타서 정말 기뻤어요. 한을이가 행복하고 활기찬 모습을 보는 게 너무 좋았어요. 그리고 제가 너무 빨리 간다고 무서워하는 모습이 재미있었어요, 하하. 벨라지오 분수 쇼를 보고 감탄하는 한을이의 모습도 너무 귀여웠어요. 한을이가 행복하고 즐거운 모습을 보니 저도 같이 행복하고 즐거웠어요. 엄마와 이모들에게 잘해줘야 해요, 그분들은 한을이에게 정말 잘해주시니까요. 가끔 그랜드 캐니언에서처럼 화를 낼 수도 있지만, 그건 한을이를 보호하려는 마음 때문이에요. 다음에 만날 때는 덜 부끄러워해요. 그러면 더 재미있게 놀 수 있을 거예요.
2024.05.14 17:29 filmmaker08042005 I Destroyed My School And College Life And I Deserve To Be Alone Forever.
I (19M) was always lonely throughout my life. I never had friends in school and never took part in any co-curricular activities. I would be jealous of my classmates with them hanging out with friends and being able to talk to girls, so I decided that after my high school I will try to make friends in college.
In college I met a group of people who I thought could be my friends. We would talk and have fun together. We would joke about each other. Even there were 2 girls in our group and with their friendly nature made me comfortable to talk to girls. Even there was a guy in the group who I would hangout with a lot. We would sit together and go to eat food together in the canteen or outside college.
I even started talking to a girl. She was really sweet and cute to talk to and we would bitch about our professors and at once shared playlists with each other. She was the one who asked me for my Insta ID. She would look and smile at me and wave at me. It was amazing. I thought my college life is going to be way better than my school life.
But it all came crashing down. In October me and my friends bunked our classes and went to the sports arena to play games. We were playing darts. One of the 2 girls, let's call her S, jokingly told one of the guys in our group that she would hit him on his head with a dart. So I jokingly told her that I would hit her with the dart but I accidentally pointed at her breast. I was looking at her face so I didn't realize it.
She got offended. She took the other girl, let's call her Z, and told her everything about this. Z confronted me and started shouting at me in the sports arena attracting everybody's attention. The Sports Officer came running towards us. He heard the entire story and took my ID card and told them to write a letter against me to the Dean.
After the letter was written he took me and the girls to the Dean who thought of this as a minor incident and told us we are legally adults and coming to him with these petty complaints. Then they told the Dean about me taking photographs of them and leaking them.
The day before I clicked S's photos of her eating a banana in the presence of our friend group. She took it very sportingly as a joke and I uploaded them to our personal Whatsapp Group. Everyone of us including her were laughing and giggling. But she and Z told that I took them without permission. They even told that I was never a friend and I was an outsider.
Dean got me suspended for 15 days because the next day our vacation would start so throughout November I was in my home. My mother uses this incident as a weapon to scold me evey now and then when we have arguments. And the worst was my crush.
During the days of my suspension I was in contact with my crush. She would even send notes of the classes of that day everyday throughout the suspension, but she didn't know I got suspended. Then when I rejoined college and started attending classes I sat far to my former friend group and behind my crush and she ignored me. Completely.
Throughout the whole day she would ignore me. That broke my heart. I was very upset and regretful for my actions. I think that my crush stopped taking to me because she got to know about this incident and misunderstood me. I have been hating myself for not respecting boundaries. Now I am all alone seeing my classmates enjoying their friendships and relationships. I think I deserve this.
submitted by filmmaker08042005 to confession [link] [comments]
In college I met a group of people who I thought could be my friends. We would talk and have fun together. We would joke about each other. Even there were 2 girls in our group and with their friendly nature made me comfortable to talk to girls. Even there was a guy in the group who I would hangout with a lot. We would sit together and go to eat food together in the canteen or outside college.
I even started talking to a girl. She was really sweet and cute to talk to and we would bitch about our professors and at once shared playlists with each other. She was the one who asked me for my Insta ID. She would look and smile at me and wave at me. It was amazing. I thought my college life is going to be way better than my school life.
But it all came crashing down. In October me and my friends bunked our classes and went to the sports arena to play games. We were playing darts. One of the 2 girls, let's call her S, jokingly told one of the guys in our group that she would hit him on his head with a dart. So I jokingly told her that I would hit her with the dart but I accidentally pointed at her breast. I was looking at her face so I didn't realize it.
She got offended. She took the other girl, let's call her Z, and told her everything about this. Z confronted me and started shouting at me in the sports arena attracting everybody's attention. The Sports Officer came running towards us. He heard the entire story and took my ID card and told them to write a letter against me to the Dean.
After the letter was written he took me and the girls to the Dean who thought of this as a minor incident and told us we are legally adults and coming to him with these petty complaints. Then they told the Dean about me taking photographs of them and leaking them.
The day before I clicked S's photos of her eating a banana in the presence of our friend group. She took it very sportingly as a joke and I uploaded them to our personal Whatsapp Group. Everyone of us including her were laughing and giggling. But she and Z told that I took them without permission. They even told that I was never a friend and I was an outsider.
Dean got me suspended for 15 days because the next day our vacation would start so throughout November I was in my home. My mother uses this incident as a weapon to scold me evey now and then when we have arguments. And the worst was my crush.
During the days of my suspension I was in contact with my crush. She would even send notes of the classes of that day everyday throughout the suspension, but she didn't know I got suspended. Then when I rejoined college and started attending classes I sat far to my former friend group and behind my crush and she ignored me. Completely.
Throughout the whole day she would ignore me. That broke my heart. I was very upset and regretful for my actions. I think that my crush stopped taking to me because she got to know about this incident and misunderstood me. I have been hating myself for not respecting boundaries. Now I am all alone seeing my classmates enjoying their friendships and relationships. I think I deserve this.
2024.05.14 16:48 MirandaJoely18 23F looking for long term friendships!
Hi, I’m 23f living in the south, and really just looking for a long term friendship- I just love learning about other people, their stories and their views on life, etc. Still in college, but should be finishing soon and in the political/law field! I love baking and cooking, would love to send/exchange recipes <3 Obsessed with anime and ghibli, and all kinds of music (kpop, indie, rock, alt, hip-hop) so sending music recommendations would be cool! I just really wanna swap ideas and stories, send cute letters while also connecting on a deeper level! I’m open to both email and snail mail, I would love/prefer snail mail just to keep the art of mail/writing alive, but email also seems cool! _−☆
submitted by MirandaJoely18 to penpals [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 15:50 DutyImportant2259 Long term domme relationship end
Hey all, Sorry for my English. I have currently ending my relationship with my long term finDomme, She was my domme since we are 19(we are in our late 20s now), She opened me the world of femdom and findom, i paid her more than 200k USD in total a year since the last three years as I make a very good money(thankfully to Her, She guided me to pursue entrepreneurship), She is making good money as well, we have tried everythign together, from foot fetish to slaps to chastity, the financial side was easy because She worked in one of my startups as well(She got much more salary than other people, including me), She was never demanding and i was firstly built a friendly relationship with Her, She maintained it by sending cute pics even when i didn't want and get me to the point where i wanted to serve and give without Her even ask, also under Her guidance Now She is getting married and i was thinking of a proper gift to give. Question mainly to any Respected Domme here, or sub, what would You liked to receive as wedding gift? Last sub gift, or what would you would give?
Maybe one day i will write our fully story here, Thanks all and have a wonderful week.
submitted by DutyImportant2259 to paypigsupportgroup [link] [comments]
Maybe one day i will write our fully story here, Thanks all and have a wonderful week.
2024.05.14 15:31 Virtual-Grade592 [AA4A] [FF4A] [MM4A] [FM4A] Helping an adoptive vampire with their first time feeding [vampire] [established relationship] [reverse comfort] [infertility] [part 4]
Hi this is my first time posting here. I've been an ASMR script writer for a few months and have been posting on ASMRScriptHaven I found this subreddit and thought I'd post here as well. This is my latest script and I'm sharing it here as well as on ASMRScriptHaven.
This is part 4 of my infertile vampire series. You can find the other parts in my masterlist: My masterlist :
I put the script in scriptbin for ease of recording (I heard some VA's prefer reading it from there): Virtual-Grade592: [A4A] [F4A] [M4A] Your vampire partner is infertile [vampire] [established relationship] - scriptbin
It's okay to fill this script and make minor adjustments. Please give me credit for writing the script and put a link in the comments so that I can find your audio. It's okay to paywall, but send me a copy of the audio then.
This part will have 2 speakers, the infertile vampire partner and the adoptive vampire. I’ve given the infertile vampire partner the name Alex, so I’ll use an A to indicate when they speaks and the adoptive vampire is called Ender, so I’ll use an E to indicate when they speak. Feel free to change pronouns and names to fit your audio.
(several days have passed since Ender started living with Alex and the listener. Ender has been gradually getting more at ease with their vampiric nature. Today all of you sit down to discuss the next step in Ender’s education as a vampire.)
[The listener, Alex and Ender sit down on a couple of chairs in the living room]
E: *nervous* I’m not ready for this.
A: *reassuring* Everyone is anxious for the first time they need to feed. You’re such a calm vampire, I’m sure you’ll do fine.
E: *still anxious* But what if I lose control? The blood bags you’ve been feeding me taste so much better than the animal blood I drank before. What if I can’t stop once I start?
A: You’re worrying too much. We aren’t the bloodthirsty monsters that the media portrays us as. Your hunger is the same as when you were human. Only starving or psychopathic vampires would drain a human to the point of death.
E: *unsure* I still feel that this is dangerous. When I arrived here, I had trouble restraining myself from drinking from them.
A: Back then you were starving. Your survival instinct was screaming at you that you needed blood. And you didn’t even give in to it. Now you aren’t starving. At this moment does it feel like you need to bite a human?
E: No, I’m fine now.
A: My point exactly. You’re fine and you’ll still be fine if you feed.
E: *slowly building up courage* I suppose you are right. It feels daunting though. I imagine many things could go wrong, like I could accidentally bite their artery. But those are worst case scenarios right?
A: Yes, that’s right. Those are just worst case scenarios and they are very rare. In all the years I’ve been feeding off of them *pointing at the listener* There were never any problems. All that will happen is that your partner gets a bit fatigued. *cheeky* Or they’ll get turned on if they have a thing for vampires.
[pause]
A: *amused* Aw that’s cute, look at the both of you blushing. I understand that Ender might be flustered at their first time feeding, *Alex turns to the listener* But I’ve fed plenty of times on you, my darling. Why are you bashful about the notion of Ender drinking from you?
[pause]
A: You’re afraid it’ll be too intimate? Hey sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with how you’ll react or feel when being fed on. I won’t see it as cheating if you get hot and bothered. It’s only cheating if you act on it. You don’t need to be ashamed if you get a bit, um how to say this … excited? Yeah excited. It’s okay if you get excited from being fed on. You’re married to a vampire, it’s normal to like being bitten. And if it gets too much for you then *suggestive* we can always retire to our bedroom to ‘deal’ with any overwhelming emotions.
[pause]
A: That seems to have put you at ease. It’s going to be okay darling. It’ll just be like me feeding on you. And I’ll guide Ender through it all to keep you and them safe.
E: *stammering nervously* Um, c-could we do this another time? I-I still don’t feel r-ready. I t-think It’ll be easier if I had more time to mentally prepare myself.
A: *encouraging* Ender, I can tell that you are ready now. You’ve been doing fine this last week and you are cautious. I know this will go alright. If we delay it now, it’ll just become more daunting to bite a human. The extra time will just increase your nervousness, not lessen it. So please believe me, because now is the best time to do your first feeding.
E: *getting more confident* Maybe you’re right. I should try at some point, so why not now. Even if something goes wrong, you’re here to help.
A: That’s the spirit. So when you’re ready, sit down next to our prospective bite victim.
[Ender sits down next to the listener]
A: Now, feeding takes three simple steps. First, put some of your saliva on the part of the skin you want to feed on. Our saliva has a numbing effect on humans, so this way your prey won’t feel pain from your bite. If your victim has been particularly annoying, then I’d spit on them, but otherwise it’s nicer to apply your saliva with a kiss. Second you bite the skin and begin drinking. Third when you’ve had your fill, you remove your fangs and catch your prey if they got too drained from the blood loss. Then you are done.
E: Okay, I think I can do that. Human, if you want me to stop at any moment, just squeeze my hand or tell me to stop. Are you ready as well?
[pause]
E: Good, then I’ll begin.
[sound of Ender giving one kiss on the neck]
E: *uncertain* There’s the saliva. Is it working? Are you feeling numb?
[pause]
E: Yeah? Okay, then I’ll bite you now.
[sound of a bite and the sucking of blood]
[after a few moments Ender stops the bite]
E: *pleasantly surprised* Huh, that was a lot easier than expected. Are you feeling okay?
[pause]
E: Phew, that’s good. I’m glad you’re fine.
A: To me it seems alright as well. Sweetheart can you tilt your neck? I want to check the wound just in case.
[listener tilts neck]
A: *pleased* This is a very clean wound. It’s hardly worse than a papercut. You did well Ender, you can be proud.
E: It felt surprisingly good. I could certainly get used to this.
A: *amused* My, my, you’re really getting used to your vampirism aren’t you. Already eager to bite more humans and taste their delicious blood. It’s a good thing you are kind-hearted or humanity would have to fear a new predator in the night.
E: *flustered* If you put it like that, it sounds like I’m getting bloodthirsty. I just liked biting them. But I don’t want to go hunting them and forcefully feed off of them.
A: *chuckling* That’s adorable dear. You won’t have to worry about hunting anyone. There are plenty of humans with a thing for vampires. Whenever you feel like biting anyone, just find one of them. They’ll happily consent to being fed upon. Especially wit the internet it’s easy to find people who want to do some vampire ‘roleplaying’.
E: *Surprised* It’s that easy? People even like our bite?
A: Oh yes, they certainly do. Just look at my partner. They seem quite satisfied from the ordeal. And you’re happy with how it all went, right darling?
[pause]
E: That’s a relief. I’d hate it if I had to hurt someone every time I ate.
A: Oh that won’t happen. Tomorrow I’ll teach you to find these humans eager to be bitten. And you’ll be surprised how many of them there are.
E: *excited* Ooh, I can’t wait for it.
A: Great, then we’ll pick this up first thing tomorrow morning. But for now let’s start on dinner. My sweetheart can use some food after losing blood.
[fade to black as the three of them get dinner ready]
submitted by Virtual-Grade592 to talkingtalltales [link] [comments]
This is part 4 of my infertile vampire series. You can find the other parts in my masterlist: My masterlist :
I put the script in scriptbin for ease of recording (I heard some VA's prefer reading it from there): Virtual-Grade592: [A4A] [F4A] [M4A] Your vampire partner is infertile [vampire] [established relationship] - scriptbin
It's okay to fill this script and make minor adjustments. Please give me credit for writing the script and put a link in the comments so that I can find your audio. It's okay to paywall, but send me a copy of the audio then.
This part will have 2 speakers, the infertile vampire partner and the adoptive vampire. I’ve given the infertile vampire partner the name Alex, so I’ll use an A to indicate when they speaks and the adoptive vampire is called Ender, so I’ll use an E to indicate when they speak. Feel free to change pronouns and names to fit your audio.
(several days have passed since Ender started living with Alex and the listener. Ender has been gradually getting more at ease with their vampiric nature. Today all of you sit down to discuss the next step in Ender’s education as a vampire.)
[The listener, Alex and Ender sit down on a couple of chairs in the living room]
E: *nervous* I’m not ready for this.
A: *reassuring* Everyone is anxious for the first time they need to feed. You’re such a calm vampire, I’m sure you’ll do fine.
E: *still anxious* But what if I lose control? The blood bags you’ve been feeding me taste so much better than the animal blood I drank before. What if I can’t stop once I start?
A: You’re worrying too much. We aren’t the bloodthirsty monsters that the media portrays us as. Your hunger is the same as when you were human. Only starving or psychopathic vampires would drain a human to the point of death.
E: *unsure* I still feel that this is dangerous. When I arrived here, I had trouble restraining myself from drinking from them.
A: Back then you were starving. Your survival instinct was screaming at you that you needed blood. And you didn’t even give in to it. Now you aren’t starving. At this moment does it feel like you need to bite a human?
E: No, I’m fine now.
A: My point exactly. You’re fine and you’ll still be fine if you feed.
E: *slowly building up courage* I suppose you are right. It feels daunting though. I imagine many things could go wrong, like I could accidentally bite their artery. But those are worst case scenarios right?
A: Yes, that’s right. Those are just worst case scenarios and they are very rare. In all the years I’ve been feeding off of them *pointing at the listener* There were never any problems. All that will happen is that your partner gets a bit fatigued. *cheeky* Or they’ll get turned on if they have a thing for vampires.
[pause]
A: *amused* Aw that’s cute, look at the both of you blushing. I understand that Ender might be flustered at their first time feeding, *Alex turns to the listener* But I’ve fed plenty of times on you, my darling. Why are you bashful about the notion of Ender drinking from you?
[pause]
A: You’re afraid it’ll be too intimate? Hey sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with how you’ll react or feel when being fed on. I won’t see it as cheating if you get hot and bothered. It’s only cheating if you act on it. You don’t need to be ashamed if you get a bit, um how to say this … excited? Yeah excited. It’s okay if you get excited from being fed on. You’re married to a vampire, it’s normal to like being bitten. And if it gets too much for you then *suggestive* we can always retire to our bedroom to ‘deal’ with any overwhelming emotions.
[pause]
A: That seems to have put you at ease. It’s going to be okay darling. It’ll just be like me feeding on you. And I’ll guide Ender through it all to keep you and them safe.
E: *stammering nervously* Um, c-could we do this another time? I-I still don’t feel r-ready. I t-think It’ll be easier if I had more time to mentally prepare myself.
A: *encouraging* Ender, I can tell that you are ready now. You’ve been doing fine this last week and you are cautious. I know this will go alright. If we delay it now, it’ll just become more daunting to bite a human. The extra time will just increase your nervousness, not lessen it. So please believe me, because now is the best time to do your first feeding.
E: *getting more confident* Maybe you’re right. I should try at some point, so why not now. Even if something goes wrong, you’re here to help.
A: That’s the spirit. So when you’re ready, sit down next to our prospective bite victim.
[Ender sits down next to the listener]
A: Now, feeding takes three simple steps. First, put some of your saliva on the part of the skin you want to feed on. Our saliva has a numbing effect on humans, so this way your prey won’t feel pain from your bite. If your victim has been particularly annoying, then I’d spit on them, but otherwise it’s nicer to apply your saliva with a kiss. Second you bite the skin and begin drinking. Third when you’ve had your fill, you remove your fangs and catch your prey if they got too drained from the blood loss. Then you are done.
E: Okay, I think I can do that. Human, if you want me to stop at any moment, just squeeze my hand or tell me to stop. Are you ready as well?
[pause]
E: Good, then I’ll begin.
[sound of Ender giving one kiss on the neck]
E: *uncertain* There’s the saliva. Is it working? Are you feeling numb?
[pause]
E: Yeah? Okay, then I’ll bite you now.
[sound of a bite and the sucking of blood]
[after a few moments Ender stops the bite]
E: *pleasantly surprised* Huh, that was a lot easier than expected. Are you feeling okay?
[pause]
E: Phew, that’s good. I’m glad you’re fine.
A: To me it seems alright as well. Sweetheart can you tilt your neck? I want to check the wound just in case.
[listener tilts neck]
A: *pleased* This is a very clean wound. It’s hardly worse than a papercut. You did well Ender, you can be proud.
E: It felt surprisingly good. I could certainly get used to this.
A: *amused* My, my, you’re really getting used to your vampirism aren’t you. Already eager to bite more humans and taste their delicious blood. It’s a good thing you are kind-hearted or humanity would have to fear a new predator in the night.
E: *flustered* If you put it like that, it sounds like I’m getting bloodthirsty. I just liked biting them. But I don’t want to go hunting them and forcefully feed off of them.
A: *chuckling* That’s adorable dear. You won’t have to worry about hunting anyone. There are plenty of humans with a thing for vampires. Whenever you feel like biting anyone, just find one of them. They’ll happily consent to being fed upon. Especially wit the internet it’s easy to find people who want to do some vampire ‘roleplaying’.
E: *Surprised* It’s that easy? People even like our bite?
A: Oh yes, they certainly do. Just look at my partner. They seem quite satisfied from the ordeal. And you’re happy with how it all went, right darling?
[pause]
E: That’s a relief. I’d hate it if I had to hurt someone every time I ate.
A: Oh that won’t happen. Tomorrow I’ll teach you to find these humans eager to be bitten. And you’ll be surprised how many of them there are.
E: *excited* Ooh, I can’t wait for it.
A: Great, then we’ll pick this up first thing tomorrow morning. But for now let’s start on dinner. My sweetheart can use some food after losing blood.
[fade to black as the three of them get dinner ready]
2024.05.14 15:13 Traditional_Move3901 Discovering Björk has been an absolute revelation
I’m sure this kind of post has been written many a time over the years, here and elsewhere. And I am sure I will say absolutely nothing new or perhaps even particularly interesting or insightful about her in the slightest..
But my experience of listening to Björk for the first time has genuinely felt so incredibly (and perhaps disproportionately) profound and wonderful for me, that I felt I just had to write a little about it and express it somewhat. Particularly as it’s just been sort of consuming me over the past couple of weeks. And especially as no one in my day to day life has listened to her, and it would be nice to connect with anyone at all, who appreciates and knows her incredible music.
I went in knowing very little. In fact if anything, I’d sort of gleaned a slightly negative idea of her, from the media and certain online spheres, from snippets of conversations I’d heard about her - that she was too weird, too crazy, too experimental, and/or overrated as an artist.
I didn’t necessarily believe any of this, I am always so cautious to make any judgements about people and things I do not really know, no matter how knowledgeable or confident the critic sounds. But it is certainly interesting (and saddening) to me that these were the ideas I’d picked up about her, before ever listening to her.
But something made me want to look into her. I think in part, I was attracted to the strangeness that many seemed to see in her and also dismiss her with. I also definitely wanted to explore and find out about an obviously important, influential and prominent female artist, particularly one whose start was in the 90s (an era of music I have been particularly interested in recently). And as popular and overplayed, even overrated as it may be to some now (I do not know what the fan consensus is), I really do love that ‘Venus as a boy’ song. I loved it immediately when I first heard it, a good while ago now. I of course found it very catchy, joyful, sparkly. But I think I also sensed that this wasn’t just a cute, one off 90s single. Even with the lightness and playfulness of the track and relative poppy, mainstream feel, I think Björk’s skilful artistry, sense of self and distinctive musical and lyrical choices still shine through. Certainly enough to inspire me to explore further..
As with delving into any longtime, prolific musician for the first time, it can easily be overwhelming, just due to the sheer amount there is to explore. Happily I found a brilliant Reddit post from a little while ago about the best way to approach her discography (pretty much chronologically and certainly album by album, and in their entirety), with a little summary of each album to give an idea of the overall context they were made in, and the kind of thing she was going for with each one. I wish all artists had a little guide like this, it was the best way to listen, with just enough information/context, but not too much!
And wow. To say I was blown away is somehow an understatement. I mean I’ve always been a pretty sensitive person. I’ve always loved and felt engaged and impacted by music to a greater extent than a lot of the people in my life. And I don’t want to sound melodramatic or pretentious.
But listening to her albums recently, has genuinely been some of the most profound, exciting and moving music listening I have ever experienced.
I listened to her first four albums in quick succession of each other and absolutely fell so in love with, and marvelled over, each one. Now I am slightly jumping around in terms of chronology, although still maintaining a strict listening to each album in full rule (as I think, all music should be listened to), but each album continues to be a wonder and a joy, even though I of course have my own preferences and favourites.
How is she able to grow and experiment so so much with each album and still maintain such incredible quality and cohesion and skill and her sense of self? How is it she can push me so much as a listener, and yet still never lose me? How can she write some of the most genuinely moving and beautiful and sexy and emotive and intriguing lyrics and melodies and songs I’ve ever heard? How can she write about so many different and fascinating ideas and emotions, in such a wondrous and well articulated and mysterious and intelligent way?
And although I’ve never much been one to really focus on (or even necessarily notice) music production, except for especially brilliantly produced and made music, with every album of hers, no, every song of hers, time and time again, I find myself in awe of the absolutely incredible, incredible music production and sounds she creates, (along with, I assume, her producers and collaborators.)
I sort of want to scream from the rooftops she’s so good. I can’t believe I’ve only just discovered her. I can’t believe I’m so lucky as to not yet have listened to all of her albums.
In terms of favourites, I think Vespertine is the one that is so far my all time love. In the aforementioned Reddit post, they described the album as sounding like being stuck in a wooden cabin, in the middle of a snowy winter. And goddamn if that isn’t a brilliantly apt description. It worked particularly well as I listened to it in the early hours of the morning, alone and in almost complete darkness. I’m not particularly spiritual or mystical generally, but I genuinely felt like floating it was so transcendent and magical.
It’s just so intricate and intimate. Delicate and ethereal. Wintery and wondrous. Romantic and sexual (as a side note, I particularly love the way she writes about love - all kinds - and sex and sexuality. It’s one of my favourite aspects of her lyrically). It’s just one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard, in absolutely every respect.
Anyway that’s the main bulk of what I wanted to really say. I realise it’s mainly a load of indulgent overlong rambling, but I just wanted to share some of my feelings about her.
If anyone has read this far, I’d love to hear what your favourite album is of hers, or how you discovered her in the first place!
Also I have not yet listened to most of her later albums so if anyone has any recommendations in where best to go next or anything like that I would appreciate that too!
submitted by Traditional_Move3901 to bjork [link] [comments]
But my experience of listening to Björk for the first time has genuinely felt so incredibly (and perhaps disproportionately) profound and wonderful for me, that I felt I just had to write a little about it and express it somewhat. Particularly as it’s just been sort of consuming me over the past couple of weeks. And especially as no one in my day to day life has listened to her, and it would be nice to connect with anyone at all, who appreciates and knows her incredible music.
I went in knowing very little. In fact if anything, I’d sort of gleaned a slightly negative idea of her, from the media and certain online spheres, from snippets of conversations I’d heard about her - that she was too weird, too crazy, too experimental, and/or overrated as an artist.
I didn’t necessarily believe any of this, I am always so cautious to make any judgements about people and things I do not really know, no matter how knowledgeable or confident the critic sounds. But it is certainly interesting (and saddening) to me that these were the ideas I’d picked up about her, before ever listening to her.
But something made me want to look into her. I think in part, I was attracted to the strangeness that many seemed to see in her and also dismiss her with. I also definitely wanted to explore and find out about an obviously important, influential and prominent female artist, particularly one whose start was in the 90s (an era of music I have been particularly interested in recently). And as popular and overplayed, even overrated as it may be to some now (I do not know what the fan consensus is), I really do love that ‘Venus as a boy’ song. I loved it immediately when I first heard it, a good while ago now. I of course found it very catchy, joyful, sparkly. But I think I also sensed that this wasn’t just a cute, one off 90s single. Even with the lightness and playfulness of the track and relative poppy, mainstream feel, I think Björk’s skilful artistry, sense of self and distinctive musical and lyrical choices still shine through. Certainly enough to inspire me to explore further..
As with delving into any longtime, prolific musician for the first time, it can easily be overwhelming, just due to the sheer amount there is to explore. Happily I found a brilliant Reddit post from a little while ago about the best way to approach her discography (pretty much chronologically and certainly album by album, and in their entirety), with a little summary of each album to give an idea of the overall context they were made in, and the kind of thing she was going for with each one. I wish all artists had a little guide like this, it was the best way to listen, with just enough information/context, but not too much!
And wow. To say I was blown away is somehow an understatement. I mean I’ve always been a pretty sensitive person. I’ve always loved and felt engaged and impacted by music to a greater extent than a lot of the people in my life. And I don’t want to sound melodramatic or pretentious.
But listening to her albums recently, has genuinely been some of the most profound, exciting and moving music listening I have ever experienced.
I listened to her first four albums in quick succession of each other and absolutely fell so in love with, and marvelled over, each one. Now I am slightly jumping around in terms of chronology, although still maintaining a strict listening to each album in full rule (as I think, all music should be listened to), but each album continues to be a wonder and a joy, even though I of course have my own preferences and favourites.
How is she able to grow and experiment so so much with each album and still maintain such incredible quality and cohesion and skill and her sense of self? How is it she can push me so much as a listener, and yet still never lose me? How can she write some of the most genuinely moving and beautiful and sexy and emotive and intriguing lyrics and melodies and songs I’ve ever heard? How can she write about so many different and fascinating ideas and emotions, in such a wondrous and well articulated and mysterious and intelligent way?
And although I’ve never much been one to really focus on (or even necessarily notice) music production, except for especially brilliantly produced and made music, with every album of hers, no, every song of hers, time and time again, I find myself in awe of the absolutely incredible, incredible music production and sounds she creates, (along with, I assume, her producers and collaborators.)
I sort of want to scream from the rooftops she’s so good. I can’t believe I’ve only just discovered her. I can’t believe I’m so lucky as to not yet have listened to all of her albums.
In terms of favourites, I think Vespertine is the one that is so far my all time love. In the aforementioned Reddit post, they described the album as sounding like being stuck in a wooden cabin, in the middle of a snowy winter. And goddamn if that isn’t a brilliantly apt description. It worked particularly well as I listened to it in the early hours of the morning, alone and in almost complete darkness. I’m not particularly spiritual or mystical generally, but I genuinely felt like floating it was so transcendent and magical.
It’s just so intricate and intimate. Delicate and ethereal. Wintery and wondrous. Romantic and sexual (as a side note, I particularly love the way she writes about love - all kinds - and sex and sexuality. It’s one of my favourite aspects of her lyrically). It’s just one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard, in absolutely every respect.
Anyway that’s the main bulk of what I wanted to really say. I realise it’s mainly a load of indulgent overlong rambling, but I just wanted to share some of my feelings about her.
If anyone has read this far, I’d love to hear what your favourite album is of hers, or how you discovered her in the first place!
Also I have not yet listened to most of her later albums so if anyone has any recommendations in where best to go next or anything like that I would appreciate that too!
2024.05.14 14:42 OhIFuckedUpGood My first dog will be gone soon
My cute dog (American Cocker Spaniel) will pass soon. He already had a bad start when he was still with his mom (inexperienced breeder). He spend the first few weeks in the hospital. Some of his brothers and sisters didn’t make it, but he did. When we had our first check up the vet told us that his lungs are not in a very good shape. The rest of his body was fine with the exception of his teeth which were close together and had some plague already.
During the years we encountered some problems. After weeks of searching what is happening we found he has an severe longterm allergy for beef. We eliminated everything which contains beef, they are everywhere even in Salmon Biscuits… after the elimination it went ok and we even got a second dog.
Everything was going well. He had some problems with teeth (bad shape, due to bad start and medicine there) and his temper like food protection or barking at cars / bikes, but it was fine and he got a good checkup every year including titer tests which were always ok. His health started to decline in the summer of 2023. He started limping on his front feed and was eating worse. We also noticed 2-3 weird spots on his skin which seems like hotspots. The vet told he was a bit heavy, he had a stiff neck and his intestines were a bit puzzled. A few sessions of acupuncture, good washing and balanced diet could help him, and it did help him for a few weeks.
In the winter his health suddenly declined and the weird spots on his skin increased and expanded over his entire body with crusts. He was losing a lot of hair. After a few vet visits, some medicine and some tests we discovered that he was highly allergy for almost everything you could imagine. This was a big message for me and my wife as it would mean we should change in the house a lot while we also have a other dog who lived the same life in perfect health. We switched to special hypoallergenic dog food of Hills so he does not react on that food and keep the other dog on his current food. We had to lock both pets apart and clean up where the other pet and also where we ate so he can’t get any other food in his stomach.
This worked for a few weeks. He remained happy when someone is home, we went to the forest or beach regularly and if I leave the house I always wants to be back as soon as possible to see my family again. I mainly work from home, so the two pets are always around and I have a deep emotional connection with them.
Unfortunately, the spots came back rapidly and he was shaking a lot. His teeth’s were also declining rapidly and his movement worsened that he could jump on the couch anymore and the stairs are done step for each step. We shifted from dexamethasone to Prednisone to see any difference, but recently we came to the conclusion that this and other treatments are not giving the results we and the vet wants. I was still looking for possible solutions, but my wife (had dogs in the past) and vet intervened that he is sick and everything we are doing could at the best only suppress symptoms, we were not making him better. EDIT: The vet said we were doing everything right on food, health etc. But basically his immune system is failing and not doing what it is supposed to do.
This week we decided to put him down. He will get his final rest next Saturday, on his fifth birthday. I’m devastated and keep crying that it is going to happen. Never had a pet during my youth and I’m just worried about the gap of the unconditional love he will leave. I’m also worried about my second dog who never has been alone and plays a lot with him and what this change will do with him.
While I’m writing this, my dog is sitting next to me and shaking. I find it very difficult he is passing at such a young age and weird thoughts are going through my mind if i could have prevented this, do things differently or anything to expand his time here with us. No matter what, I love him and keep carrying the awesome memories and the times he dragged me and my wife through really hard times in my heart. I saw this community and all the kind messages and advices, i thought i would give it a go also with my story and I’m open for advices on how to deal with the pain and some possible ideas to keep him close with me even if he is not there anymore.
submitted by OhIFuckedUpGood to Petloss [link] [comments]
During the years we encountered some problems. After weeks of searching what is happening we found he has an severe longterm allergy for beef. We eliminated everything which contains beef, they are everywhere even in Salmon Biscuits… after the elimination it went ok and we even got a second dog.
Everything was going well. He had some problems with teeth (bad shape, due to bad start and medicine there) and his temper like food protection or barking at cars / bikes, but it was fine and he got a good checkup every year including titer tests which were always ok. His health started to decline in the summer of 2023. He started limping on his front feed and was eating worse. We also noticed 2-3 weird spots on his skin which seems like hotspots. The vet told he was a bit heavy, he had a stiff neck and his intestines were a bit puzzled. A few sessions of acupuncture, good washing and balanced diet could help him, and it did help him for a few weeks.
In the winter his health suddenly declined and the weird spots on his skin increased and expanded over his entire body with crusts. He was losing a lot of hair. After a few vet visits, some medicine and some tests we discovered that he was highly allergy for almost everything you could imagine. This was a big message for me and my wife as it would mean we should change in the house a lot while we also have a other dog who lived the same life in perfect health. We switched to special hypoallergenic dog food of Hills so he does not react on that food and keep the other dog on his current food. We had to lock both pets apart and clean up where the other pet and also where we ate so he can’t get any other food in his stomach.
This worked for a few weeks. He remained happy when someone is home, we went to the forest or beach regularly and if I leave the house I always wants to be back as soon as possible to see my family again. I mainly work from home, so the two pets are always around and I have a deep emotional connection with them.
Unfortunately, the spots came back rapidly and he was shaking a lot. His teeth’s were also declining rapidly and his movement worsened that he could jump on the couch anymore and the stairs are done step for each step. We shifted from dexamethasone to Prednisone to see any difference, but recently we came to the conclusion that this and other treatments are not giving the results we and the vet wants. I was still looking for possible solutions, but my wife (had dogs in the past) and vet intervened that he is sick and everything we are doing could at the best only suppress symptoms, we were not making him better. EDIT: The vet said we were doing everything right on food, health etc. But basically his immune system is failing and not doing what it is supposed to do.
This week we decided to put him down. He will get his final rest next Saturday, on his fifth birthday. I’m devastated and keep crying that it is going to happen. Never had a pet during my youth and I’m just worried about the gap of the unconditional love he will leave. I’m also worried about my second dog who never has been alone and plays a lot with him and what this change will do with him.
While I’m writing this, my dog is sitting next to me and shaking. I find it very difficult he is passing at such a young age and weird thoughts are going through my mind if i could have prevented this, do things differently or anything to expand his time here with us. No matter what, I love him and keep carrying the awesome memories and the times he dragged me and my wife through really hard times in my heart. I saw this community and all the kind messages and advices, i thought i would give it a go also with my story and I’m open for advices on how to deal with the pain and some possible ideas to keep him close with me even if he is not there anymore.
2024.05.14 14:40 Puzzleheaded-Math729 19, about to be 20 in like some days, India] F4M, online/anywhere
May take a while to respond, please bear with me and with this glitchy app lol
I've been thinking of posting on this sub for a while haha so here it goes, frankly I've given up the idea of dating. Fair disclaimer, I would wanna get in a talking stage for a while if we vibe and then take things further from there, if that's cool with you. Please do not send me a dm if you're here to just fool around and not want something serious, there are already way too many subs for that.
Include a pic if possible, there have been times when I was having an awesome conversation and then saw the pictures and realised that I wasn't attracted to the other person at all, and telling them that was just upsetting 😭.Now that we have that out of the way, let's get into it
I'm into psychology (psy major), reading fiction, gaming (you can stream games for me on discord haha), music, watching movies (watching animated Disney movies together sounds like a plan) and I love solo traveling, and touring Europe is on my bucket list.
Learning about different cultures is something I'm into, so bonus points if you can teach me something about your culture. I also write poetry but have stopped doing that over the last few months coz of academic stress. 🫡 I'm openly atheist as well so debates are welcome as long as it has logic in it, and not just insults 💀😭
I am a feminist so I wanna date someone who shares the same mindset. I don't mind dating someone in long distance, but it would be better to date someone from either UK or US, since I might migrate there to study. I've been in one relationship before, it was LDR if that matters. I'd say I'm pretty enough lol, willing to share pictures after we've established a friendship.
I like sharing cat memes, (I'll probably do that A LIT and spam a shit ton of reels haha) and I think I have a fun and cute personality. I also love Indian ethnic wear, like sarees, lehenga, bangles, bindis, jhumka etc , I think it looks very pretty.
I'm 5'7, light brown skin, jet black hair, the features I like the most of mine are my eyes and my cheeks lol, coz I think it looks cute when I smile haha. I'm into taller men though, atleast 5'9 and max 5'11. I'm not really into men with facial hair. Exceptions exist ofc, like if we're very compatible for example:) I want someone who is caring, loving and prioritizes spending time with me, and makes me feel wanted. And if you're good/average looking that's great too, attraction is subjective ofc unfortunately.
I don't have any limitations about where you're from, as long as you're not a creep or bot/scammer lol, and please be in the age range of 20- 23. Please no muslims/middle eastern dudes, because that would simply not work because of obvious reasons.
Just say anything abt bananas or pineapples so that I know you read this post. And please let me know your ASL (age, gender, location), hobbies etc so that I know more about you :)
And if possible please let me know why you reached out to me, especially if we're from different cultures.
Looking forward to hear from you. Byeeeee🙂
{May take a while to respond coz of reddit being a glitchy b * tch}
submitted by Puzzleheaded-Math729 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
I've been thinking of posting on this sub for a while haha so here it goes, frankly I've given up the idea of dating. Fair disclaimer, I would wanna get in a talking stage for a while if we vibe and then take things further from there, if that's cool with you. Please do not send me a dm if you're here to just fool around and not want something serious, there are already way too many subs for that.
Include a pic if possible, there have been times when I was having an awesome conversation and then saw the pictures and realised that I wasn't attracted to the other person at all, and telling them that was just upsetting 😭.Now that we have that out of the way, let's get into it
I'm into psychology (psy major), reading fiction, gaming (you can stream games for me on discord haha), music, watching movies (watching animated Disney movies together sounds like a plan) and I love solo traveling, and touring Europe is on my bucket list.
Learning about different cultures is something I'm into, so bonus points if you can teach me something about your culture. I also write poetry but have stopped doing that over the last few months coz of academic stress. 🫡 I'm openly atheist as well so debates are welcome as long as it has logic in it, and not just insults 💀😭
I am a feminist so I wanna date someone who shares the same mindset. I don't mind dating someone in long distance, but it would be better to date someone from either UK or US, since I might migrate there to study. I've been in one relationship before, it was LDR if that matters. I'd say I'm pretty enough lol, willing to share pictures after we've established a friendship.
I like sharing cat memes, (I'll probably do that A LIT and spam a shit ton of reels haha) and I think I have a fun and cute personality. I also love Indian ethnic wear, like sarees, lehenga, bangles, bindis, jhumka etc , I think it looks very pretty.
I'm 5'7, light brown skin, jet black hair, the features I like the most of mine are my eyes and my cheeks lol, coz I think it looks cute when I smile haha. I'm into taller men though, atleast 5'9 and max 5'11. I'm not really into men with facial hair. Exceptions exist ofc, like if we're very compatible for example:) I want someone who is caring, loving and prioritizes spending time with me, and makes me feel wanted. And if you're good/average looking that's great too, attraction is subjective ofc unfortunately.
I don't have any limitations about where you're from, as long as you're not a creep or bot/scammer lol, and please be in the age range of 20- 23. Please no muslims/middle eastern dudes, because that would simply not work because of obvious reasons.
Just say anything abt bananas or pineapples so that I know you read this post. And please let me know your ASL (age, gender, location), hobbies etc so that I know more about you :)
And if possible please let me know why you reached out to me, especially if we're from different cultures.
Looking forward to hear from you. Byeeeee🙂
{May take a while to respond coz of reddit being a glitchy b * tch}
2024.05.14 14:28 Virtual-Grade592 [AA4A] [FF4A] [MM4A] [FM4A] Helping an adoptive vampire with their first time feeding [vampire] [established relationship] [reverse comfort] [infertility] [part 4]
This is part 4 of my infertile vampire series. You can find the other parts in my masterlist: My masterlist :
I put the script in scriptbin for ease of recording (I heard some VA's prefer reading it from there): Virtual-Grade592: [A4A] [F4A] [M4A] Your vampire partner is infertile [vampire] [established relationship] - scriptbin
It's okay to fill this script and make minor adjustments. Please give me credit for writing the script and put a link in the comments so that I can find your audio. It's okay to paywall, but send me a copy of the audio then.
This part will have 2 speakers, the infertile vampire partner and the adoptive vampire. I’ve given the infertile vampire partner the name Alex, so I’ll use an A to indicate when they speaks and the adoptive vampire is called Ender, so I’ll use an E to indicate when they speak. Feel free to change pronouns and names to fit your audio.
(several days have passed since Ender started living with Alex and the listener. Ender has been gradually getting more at ease with their vampiric nature. Today all of you sit down to discuss the next step in Ender’s education as a vampire.)
[The listener, Alex and Ender sit down on a couple of chairs in the living room]
E: *nervous* I’m not ready for this.
A: *reassuring* Everyone is anxious for the first time they need to feed. You’re such a calm vampire, I’m sure you’ll do fine.
E: *still anxious* But what if I lose control? The blood bags you’ve been feeding me taste so much better than the animal blood I drank before. What if I can’t stop once I start?
A: You’re worrying too much. We aren’t the bloodthirsty monsters that the media portrays us as. Your hunger is the same as when you were human. Only starving or psychopathic vampires would drain a human to the point of death.
E: *unsure* I still feel that this is dangerous. When I arrived here, I had trouble restraining myself from drinking from them.
A: Back then you were starving. Your survival instinct was screaming at you that you needed blood. And you didn’t even give in to it. Now you aren’t starving. At this moment does it feel like you need to bite a human?
E: No, I’m fine now.
A: My point exactly. You’re fine and you’ll still be fine if you feed.
E: *slowly building up courage* I suppose you are right. It feels daunting though. I imagine many things could go wrong, like I could accidentally bite their artery. But those are worst case scenarios right?
A: Yes, that’s right. Those are just worst case scenarios and they are very rare. In all the years I’ve been feeding off of them *pointing at the listener* There were never any problems. All that will happen is that your partner gets a bit fatigued. *cheeky* Or they’ll get turned on if they have a thing for vampires.
[pause]
A: *amused* Aw that’s cute, look at the both of you blushing. I understand that Ender might be flustered at their first time feeding, *Alex turns to the listener* But I’ve fed plenty of times on you, my darling. Why are you bashful about the notion of Ender drinking from you?
[pause]
A: You’re afraid it’ll be too intimate? Hey sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with how you’ll react or feel when being fed on. I won’t see it as cheating if you get hot and bothered. It’s only cheating if you act on it. You don’t need to be ashamed if you get a bit, um how to say this … excited? Yeah excited. It’s okay if you get excited from being fed on. You’re married to a vampire, it’s normal to like being bitten. And if it gets too much for you then *suggestive* we can always retire to our bedroom to ‘deal’ with any overwhelming emotions.
[pause]
A: That seems to have put you at ease. It’s going to be okay darling. It’ll just be like me feeding on you. And I’ll guide Ender through it all to keep you and them safe.
E: *stammering nervously* Um, c-could we do this another time? I-I still don’t feel r-ready. I t-think It’ll be easier if I had more time to mentally prepare myself.
A: *encouraging* Ender, I can tell that you are ready now. You’ve been doing fine this last week and you are cautious. I know this will go alright. If we delay it now, it’ll just become more daunting to bite a human. The extra time will just increase your nervousness, not lessen it. So please believe me, because now is the best time to do your first feeding.
E: *getting more confident* Maybe you’re right. I should try at some point, so why not now. Even if something goes wrong, you’re here to help.
A: That’s the spirit. So when you’re ready, sit down next to our prospective bite victim.
[Ender sits down next to the listener]
A: Now, feeding takes three simple steps. First, put some of your saliva on the part of the skin you want to feed on. Our saliva has a numbing effect on humans, so this way your prey won’t feel pain from your bite. If your victim has been particularly annoying, then I’d spit on them, but otherwise it’s nicer to apply your saliva with a kiss. Second you bite the skin and begin drinking. Third when you’ve had your fill, you remove your fangs and catch your prey if they got too drained from the blood loss. Then you are done.
E: Okay, I think I can do that. Human, if you want me to stop at any moment, just squeeze my hand or tell me to stop. Are you ready as well?
[pause]
E: Good, then I’ll begin.
[sound of Ender giving one kiss on the neck]
E: *uncertain* There’s the saliva. Is it working? Are you feeling numb?
[pause]
E: Yeah? Okay, then I’ll bite you now.
[sound of a bite and the sucking of blood]
[after a few moments Ender stops the bite]
E: *pleasantly surprised* Huh, that was a lot easier than expected. Are you feeling okay?
[pause]
E: Phew, that’s good. I’m glad you’re fine.
A: To me it seems alright as well. Sweetheart can you tilt your neck? I want to check the wound just in case.
[listener tilts neck]
A: *pleased* This is a very clean wound. It’s hardly worse than a papercut. You did well Ender, you can be proud.
E: It felt surprisingly good. I could certainly get used to this.
A: *amused* My, my, you’re really getting used to your vampirism aren’t you. Already eager to bite more humans and taste their delicious blood. It’s a good thing you are kind-hearted or humanity would have to fear a new predator in the night.
E: *flustered* If you put it like that, it sounds like I’m getting bloodthirsty. I just liked biting them. But I don’t want to go hunting them and forcefully feed off of them.
A: *chuckling* That’s adorable dear. You won’t have to worry about hunting anyone. There are plenty of humans with a thing for vampires. Whenever you feel like biting anyone, just find one of them. They’ll happily consent to being fed upon. Especially wit the internet it’s easy to find people who want to do some vampire ‘roleplaying’.
E: *Surprised* It’s that easy? People even like our bite?
A: Oh yes, they certainly do. Just look at my partner. They seem quite satisfied from the ordeal. And you’re happy with how it all went, right darling?
[pause]
E: That’s a relief. I’d hate it if I had to hurt someone every time I ate.
A: Oh that won’t happen. Tomorrow I’ll teach you to find these humans eager to be bitten. And you’ll be surprised how many of them there are.
E: *excited* Ooh, I can’t wait for it.
A: Great, then we’ll pick this up first thing tomorrow morning. But for now let’s start on dinner. My sweetheart can use some food after losing blood.
[fade to black as the three of them get dinner ready]
submitted by Virtual-Grade592 to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]
I put the script in scriptbin for ease of recording (I heard some VA's prefer reading it from there): Virtual-Grade592: [A4A] [F4A] [M4A] Your vampire partner is infertile [vampire] [established relationship] - scriptbin
It's okay to fill this script and make minor adjustments. Please give me credit for writing the script and put a link in the comments so that I can find your audio. It's okay to paywall, but send me a copy of the audio then.
This part will have 2 speakers, the infertile vampire partner and the adoptive vampire. I’ve given the infertile vampire partner the name Alex, so I’ll use an A to indicate when they speaks and the adoptive vampire is called Ender, so I’ll use an E to indicate when they speak. Feel free to change pronouns and names to fit your audio.
(several days have passed since Ender started living with Alex and the listener. Ender has been gradually getting more at ease with their vampiric nature. Today all of you sit down to discuss the next step in Ender’s education as a vampire.)
[The listener, Alex and Ender sit down on a couple of chairs in the living room]
E: *nervous* I’m not ready for this.
A: *reassuring* Everyone is anxious for the first time they need to feed. You’re such a calm vampire, I’m sure you’ll do fine.
E: *still anxious* But what if I lose control? The blood bags you’ve been feeding me taste so much better than the animal blood I drank before. What if I can’t stop once I start?
A: You’re worrying too much. We aren’t the bloodthirsty monsters that the media portrays us as. Your hunger is the same as when you were human. Only starving or psychopathic vampires would drain a human to the point of death.
E: *unsure* I still feel that this is dangerous. When I arrived here, I had trouble restraining myself from drinking from them.
A: Back then you were starving. Your survival instinct was screaming at you that you needed blood. And you didn’t even give in to it. Now you aren’t starving. At this moment does it feel like you need to bite a human?
E: No, I’m fine now.
A: My point exactly. You’re fine and you’ll still be fine if you feed.
E: *slowly building up courage* I suppose you are right. It feels daunting though. I imagine many things could go wrong, like I could accidentally bite their artery. But those are worst case scenarios right?
A: Yes, that’s right. Those are just worst case scenarios and they are very rare. In all the years I’ve been feeding off of them *pointing at the listener* There were never any problems. All that will happen is that your partner gets a bit fatigued. *cheeky* Or they’ll get turned on if they have a thing for vampires.
[pause]
A: *amused* Aw that’s cute, look at the both of you blushing. I understand that Ender might be flustered at their first time feeding, *Alex turns to the listener* But I’ve fed plenty of times on you, my darling. Why are you bashful about the notion of Ender drinking from you?
[pause]
A: You’re afraid it’ll be too intimate? Hey sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with how you’ll react or feel when being fed on. I won’t see it as cheating if you get hot and bothered. It’s only cheating if you act on it. You don’t need to be ashamed if you get a bit, um how to say this … excited? Yeah excited. It’s okay if you get excited from being fed on. You’re married to a vampire, it’s normal to like being bitten. And if it gets too much for you then *suggestive* we can always retire to our bedroom to ‘deal’ with any overwhelming emotions.
[pause]
A: That seems to have put you at ease. It’s going to be okay darling. It’ll just be like me feeding on you. And I’ll guide Ender through it all to keep you and them safe.
E: *stammering nervously* Um, c-could we do this another time? I-I still don’t feel r-ready. I t-think It’ll be easier if I had more time to mentally prepare myself.
A: *encouraging* Ender, I can tell that you are ready now. You’ve been doing fine this last week and you are cautious. I know this will go alright. If we delay it now, it’ll just become more daunting to bite a human. The extra time will just increase your nervousness, not lessen it. So please believe me, because now is the best time to do your first feeding.
E: *getting more confident* Maybe you’re right. I should try at some point, so why not now. Even if something goes wrong, you’re here to help.
A: That’s the spirit. So when you’re ready, sit down next to our prospective bite victim.
[Ender sits down next to the listener]
A: Now, feeding takes three simple steps. First, put some of your saliva on the part of the skin you want to feed on. Our saliva has a numbing effect on humans, so this way your prey won’t feel pain from your bite. If your victim has been particularly annoying, then I’d spit on them, but otherwise it’s nicer to apply your saliva with a kiss. Second you bite the skin and begin drinking. Third when you’ve had your fill, you remove your fangs and catch your prey if they got too drained from the blood loss. Then you are done.
E: Okay, I think I can do that. Human, if you want me to stop at any moment, just squeeze my hand or tell me to stop. Are you ready as well?
[pause]
E: Good, then I’ll begin.
[sound of Ender giving one kiss on the neck]
E: *uncertain* There’s the saliva. Is it working? Are you feeling numb?
[pause]
E: Yeah? Okay, then I’ll bite you now.
[sound of a bite and the sucking of blood]
[after a few moments Ender stops the bite]
E: *pleasantly surprised* Huh, that was a lot easier than expected. Are you feeling okay?
[pause]
E: Phew, that’s good. I’m glad you’re fine.
A: To me it seems alright as well. Sweetheart can you tilt your neck? I want to check the wound just in case.
[listener tilts neck]
A: *pleased* This is a very clean wound. It’s hardly worse than a papercut. You did well Ender, you can be proud.
E: It felt surprisingly good. I could certainly get used to this.
A: *amused* My, my, you’re really getting used to your vampirism aren’t you. Already eager to bite more humans and taste their delicious blood. It’s a good thing you are kind-hearted or humanity would have to fear a new predator in the night.
E: *flustered* If you put it like that, it sounds like I’m getting bloodthirsty. I just liked biting them. But I don’t want to go hunting them and forcefully feed off of them.
A: *chuckling* That’s adorable dear. You won’t have to worry about hunting anyone. There are plenty of humans with a thing for vampires. Whenever you feel like biting anyone, just find one of them. They’ll happily consent to being fed upon. Especially wit the internet it’s easy to find people who want to do some vampire ‘roleplaying’.
E: *Surprised* It’s that easy? People even like our bite?
A: Oh yes, they certainly do. Just look at my partner. They seem quite satisfied from the ordeal. And you’re happy with how it all went, right darling?
[pause]
E: That’s a relief. I’d hate it if I had to hurt someone every time I ate.
A: Oh that won’t happen. Tomorrow I’ll teach you to find these humans eager to be bitten. And you’ll be surprised how many of them there are.
E: *excited* Ooh, I can’t wait for it.
A: Great, then we’ll pick this up first thing tomorrow morning. But for now let’s start on dinner. My sweetheart can use some food after losing blood.
[fade to black as the three of them get dinner ready]
2024.05.14 14:00 OrlonDogger A Witch at Midnight - Chapter 12
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When did I allow this to happen? How is it ten at night already? I just played a couple of rounds and it’s already dark outside!
“You should know already that your perception of time is FUBAR. Not to mention these hobbies of ours really don’t help grasping what’s going on.”
It didn’t use to be like this.
“Oh yeah? Can you remember how long you’ve been using the computer?”
Of course I can. It’s been in my life since I was like six or something, when Dad brought home that used computer with all the Dobrand games! But I didn’t pay much attention to it back then…
“That’s not how I remember it. We used to spend entire afternoons playing with the Encyclopedia, and trying out those games we barely understood. Maybe going into the Cartoon Central website too, even if we couldn’t read very well. Face it, we’ve always been addicted to distractions…”
Ok, maybe a little, but–
“And even before we started to use the internet more seriously, we’ve never been very into sleeping at all. Remember how we used to check the channels back then? Zapping and looking for stuff on the TV? Back then everything was so scary and novel at these hours… Now it feels just like a routine. We’ve always been night owls.”
Frowning and feeling the voice creeping on me more than usual, I finally close the game and my computer, standing up and turning on the lights to look at my room. The floor is still filthy, the plates are still scattered about… opening my closet, I not only see what remains of my clean clothes and the old montgomery hanging, but also the old bamboo blade I used to train with.
“Yeah. Remember that? How everyone looks for a local sport to practice and you chose fucking kendo? Not sure if that was just the weaboo in you, or you are just that pretentious.”
I pick up the long stick and take a look at it from the sides. Four bamboo sticks, held together tightly by leather straps and string. It’s elegant in its simplicity, firm enough to hurt a little when hit by it, but not strong enough to really harm, mostly thanks to the white leather covering its tip. The handle has the dark stains of sweat coming from the months of use.
“Before you left it incomplete, like everything in your life.”
Sigh.
I put the blade back in the closet and then turn around, grabbing the many plates and cups that were piling up in the room and walking the dark way over to the kitchen to clean them up.
“Cleaning plates in the middle of the night. That’s the kind of stuff Venus did back when she was here, just to call your attention.”
Ignoring this annoying voice is getting harder… I am tempted to pick up the S.O.S. pill, but if I do that I can say goodbye to my agency for the entire night and maybe even a few hours after waking up. Urgh.
“Guess you’re stuck with me, huh?”
Biting my lower lip, I try to focus on the task at hand, cleaning each plate as carefully as I can and trying to ignore the feeling of grease building up on my hands. Saints above, it is so disgusting! I can’t stand it, really. But if I keep letting the plates stack up, I’ll never do it.
“Look at you trying to be responsible. So silly. You’ll just let them stack up again soon enough.”
“What matters is that you are trying your best.”
Ah, there She is. Still talking from the corner of the room… Her kindness has always felt fabricated to me. Fake.
“It’s hard to accept mercy from yourself.”
You are not me.
The glugging of the drain interrupts me before I can start arguing again. With a heavy sigh, I let the water run away to clean my hands for a moment, and then, now that everything is clean and in place, I close it and walk back to my cave and take a seat back beside the window, opening the blinds just to see the darkness of a misty winter night in Saüle.
“Maybe it’s time to sleep after all.”
“You’ll just start rolling around, kicking and stirring all night.”
“You’ll eventually fall asleep!”
“Or maybe you won't. Let’s just keep playing until the Sun rises.”
I’ll do you both one better and just go back to the living room to check Dejima.
“Oh right! It has been a few hours, hasn’t it?”
“If you are so eager to be disappointed…”
Taking the computer back to the dining table and reconnecting it to the Tripolar Edge Router is easy enough, and yet I still feel the anticipation killing me. My hands tremble a bit as I type the address again, and even more when I have to wait the eternity until it loads.
My post… it got answers! Four answers to be exact! It’s not much but, considering how few users are online at a given time here, it’s good!
“omg it’s so cute when people actually come and use the ‘Introductions’ spot. I mean it, it’s great. It’s also cool to see new faces here, welcome! My dms are open if you want to ask anything.” — GalaxyTaco
“Hey there! We are all glad to have you here! If you have any doubts or questions, throw them my way and I’ll see to answer them whenever I can!” — Ventotto
“Fresh meat, bring out the paddles! Just kidding, welcome in, kid. Hope to see ya in the chatbox one day.” — jeepcreep
“Welcome. Complete your profile data.". — ογδόντα
Three of these are mods, so that was to be expected… but this ‘GalaxyTaco’ guy. He seems like a nice fella. Maybe trying to gun for mod too, or maybe just a legitimately friendly person! Whatever the case, the Helenian mod had made a fantastic point. I did have to complete the profile stuff.
“Does it have to be now? It’s late…”
Yes, it does. I click back to my profile and, well, it asks stuff like ‘Email’, ‘Country’, ‘Languages Spoken’ and ‘Gender’, all easy to answer.
Email: [simple.times@gamail.com]()
Country: Wohl.
Languages Spoken: Wohlian, Dobrand.
Gender: I’d rather not say.
“What sort of stupid answer was that?! Are you really this delusional!?”
Please. Just… let me have this…
“Don’t come crying when they learn you’re a man and you get all embarrassed.“
“Are they a man? Have you not stopped for a second to think that maybe they would be more comfortable as a–”
Shut up.
Both of you. You are looking way too deep into this. I’ll leave it as it is and that’s final.
With a huff, I go to the next section of the profile… ‘Referred to by:’
Oh no.
“Well, time to skip that one.”
There was no way I could just say ‘Ah, I found it in a book’ without getting strange looks. Not to mention the book itself told me not to talk about it for anything.
Next.
‘Mystical Specialization’.
“Saints damn it.”
I could just copy the specialization from some other profile, but then what if they decided to ask me about it? Well, that wouldn’t be a problem if I decided not to get in the chatbox at all… but I won’t advance in my investigation at all if I don’t talk to people, right?
I decide to just leave it open, for now.
Finally, I just gotta put a ‘Comment’ in the end of my profile… hmmm…
Comment: ‘Please don’t kill me.’
“A little on the nose?”
It’s all in good humor. I hope.
With that done, I don’t waste time on making a signature for myself (yet) and go straight to check on the Chatbox.
Four people: ‘GalaxyTaco’, ‘Ventotto’, ‘souseiseki’ and… uh… ‘Canned Tea’.
I take a deep breath… and log in.
Tav has connected to the Chatbox.
souseiseki: byeeee canny!! <3
GalaxyTaco: bye dude
Canned Tea has disconnected from the Chatbox.
souseiseki: … who tf are u o.o
Fuck. That was fast. Immediately singled out and everything, oh no. I panic, unable to really write any answers, when suddenly:
GalaxyTaco: sou that’s tav! the new peep? you saw the introductions post right??
souseiseki: oh right o.o i don’t care for those
GalaxyTaco: how’s it going dude? man, if youre wohlian it must be fucking late!
Tav: Hi, hi n.nUu
Tav: Yeah, it’s a bit late but I can’t sleep u.u
GalaxyTaco: hah, been there…
Canned Tea has connected to the Chatbox.
The guy came back again? What gives??
Canned Tea: sorry tav, didn’t see you come in.
Canned Tea: don’t want you to think Im avoiding ya.
The fear WAS in my brain, to be honest. I can’t help but smile a bit when the guy returns to clarify.
Tav: Oh it’s all good! n.n thank you though uwu
souseiseki: don’t cuddle this f**got Canny o.o
I wince. Oof. That’s… wow.
Canned Tea: sou.
Canned Tea: i’ve told you not to shittalk like that, girl.
souseiseki: sorry, slipped off my mind
Canned Tea: anyways, now im going to sleep.
Canned Tea: welcome in Tav. i’ll be seeing ya later.
Tav: For sure! n.n bye Canned Tea!
Canned Tea: just call me canny, girl.
Canned Tea: see ya.
Canned Tea has disconnected from the Chatbox.
I feel my face burning for a moment there. Am I blushing!? Fuck.
“Welp, you’re proving souseiseki right, at least.”
Shut the fuck up.
@ Ventotto: Hmm. I’ve told him not to assume gender like that.
GalaxyTaco: Holy shit 28 ur alive!!! O.o
GalaxyTaco: Now THAT is surprising.
@ Ventotto: I was about to leave but, like Canny, I wanted to say welcome again to Tav.
Ventotto: I hope you find your spot here soon. If you have anything you’d want translated and analyzed, go to the Translation subforum. Ok?
Tav: For sure! Thank you uwu
@ Ventotto: See you all later.
@ Ventotto has disconnected from the Chatbox.
souseiseki: i’m not staying here with you losers o.o
souseiseki: bye.
souseiseki has disconnected from the Chatbox
“Well bitch I didn’t want to talk with you either!” I practically snarl in real life, taking a deep breath and rubbing my temples. “Urgh. Not even an hour in and I’m already fed up with someone…”
GalaxyTaco: bah pay her no mind dude.
GalaxyTaco: she’s just Like That™
Tav: I’ll try…
Tav: Thank you for the welcome post, by the way uwu
Tav: I was worried no one would answer… u.u
GalaxyTaco: not gonna lie dure, that was a big possibility!
GalaxyTaco: people here ain’t the most social, honestly.
GalaxyTaco: speaking of, that reminds me!
GalaxyTaco: how DID you find the forum? if someone gave you the link but didn’t show you the ropes, that’s kind of an asshole move to pull!
Damn it all. That question again! This guy seemed nice so he probably didn’t mean anything by it but, it was a little frustrating to have to give explanations like that. Then again, this was supposed to be a secret of sorts, so I shouldn’t be that surprised I guess? But well, surprised or not, I need an answer to give. Come on, brain, make up something! An excuse! Anything!
“How the Hells do you want us to make up something if we know nothing of mages and such!? Are you stupid!?”
“We do know something. This ‘Elysium’ place seems to be important, maybe mentioning it would be enough to throw GalaxyTaco off your scent!”
“He’s not an idiot. Using jargon without really understanding it is a great way to look like an outsider.”
“Remind me again why we can’t just tell him the truth…?”
“The woman from the book, Humiko, told us not to talk about it if we can avoid it.”
“Well then, can we avoid it now…?”
…
GalaxyTaco: ah shit dude, sorry to cut this short but I gotta go get lunch
GalaxyTaco: talk to you later!
GalaxyTaco has disconnected from the Chatbox.
I deflate for a moment there, closing my eyes. Lucky break, I guess! Or at least, I think it is … until I get a notification from the forum: a direct message! Clicking the icon, I can see it’s from GalaxyTaco.
Sorry for the intense question but, it’s kind of important.
If you don’t fill your profile soon, 82’s totally gonna ban you.
You weren’t referred here by anyone you can mention, huh?
Let’s talk more privately.
[tacomadeofgalaxies@messages.com]()
Don’t disconnect from the TER when talking, that way no sleeper government can check on us.
I’ll be up after lunch.
Trust me, it’s important.—- GalaxyTaco
Oh shit. I was read like a book.
A part of me is relieved the guy is worried about me… but then, the suspicions arise. What if this guy is working with the mods? Or worse, with the cloaks! I haven’t even encountered these people and yet their presence around me fills me with dread and anxiety, mostly because I have no idea what to expect from them!
But another part of me is simply desperate for having someone to talk to about this, and he did say that while I keep the TER (which I assume is the Tripolar Edge Router) on, no orgs can check on me. So maybe…
“You’re gonna regret that.”
Maybe. But we will see about that when we get there.
2024.05.14 13:14 ginapicklelifestyle What type of dad would Raphael be?
 | I’m writing my own fic about Raphael being a sudden father and have thought about it a lot, but I’m curious to hear your ideas! He says he hates kids… but I think he’d love a mini version of himself. I also think he’d struggle to be a father at first because of his own issues with Mephistopheles. Would he strive to be better? 🤔 submitted by ginapicklelifestyle to simpathyforthedevil [link] [comments] Also this art is so cute by myachanya on instagram. |