Okay, so I wanted to post this here and I honestly don’t know how to word this correctly; but I wanted to hear others honest takes. I don’t hate Lilah. I even gave her new podcast a listen just to support, I don’t ever hate on another bitch getting her bag, she can do what she wants and make her money however she wants and I don’t judge. But the part where she said “she was the most feminine looking trans girl” took me out. I honestly see nothing feminine about her and I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’d love to hear y’all’s thoughts. Idk if it’s just me but whenever I see her, I know that she’s transitioning. This can be deleted for hate or whatever but she still looks really masculine to me and I’m wondering if I’m the only one who sees it. Do her sugar daddies have no idea that she’s trans?

I’m sorry if this is stupid, and I don’t understand gender, and it’s such a quiet and intimate thing, especially when it balances on physical presentation…
I’m female by physical sex. But I crave masculinity so so bad, I want to identify with masculine terms, it brings me a great joy. When I’m inebriated on anything, half the time I go into this “gender hole” and start craving the male gender with enormous intensity, I have this major freakout with my friends and try to “come out” to them. Last time it was genderfluid.
But I like my physical body! I don’t really have that strong of a desire to change it. I’m scared of surgery, especially if I don’t crave it that much.
I’m also ok with presenting feminine often. My friends say that I tend to have a more androgynous vibe anyway, which makes me very happy.
I guess it’s just that based on physical presentation I don’t FEEL “genderqueer” or whatever the terms are it’s just a feeling inside me that is so very strong but very few will ever know aside from like 3ish people closest to me.
I feel like the trans-y feelings are so fucking obvious sometimes, like I’ve been repeating the same things to my best friend for about 7 years now, but I also feel so invalidated because I don’t know, I just don’t feel enough.
I don’t feel comfortable telling the public world what my complicated feelings about gender are. I present as female and I quietly dance in the joys when someone adorns me with masculine adjectives. I work in an industry that prefers me to be feminine and beautiful rather than a gender mess. I have to conform to the traditional world for my career (as most people do, I suppose).
I guess being genderfluid would be the best solution? But I also don’t feel validated in calling myself that. I don’t know what I am and it should be ok but I feel so lost sometimes, it’s a very strange feeling that I feel like I can’t explain at all, but there’s definitely weird gender feelings :(
Sometimes I get the feeling maybe I will wait a few decades and then truly want to try to transition.

I’m 23 and born a woman (this is important) and when I was young and still in my faith I learned that I am a lesbian. I did everything a good Mormon would and told my dad and my bishop but ultimately this discovery led me away from the church and I’m happy for that. I moved out at 18 and spent the last few years just fighting to survive as a new adult and I believe I finally found my footing I have a gf who is loving and supportive, a home with my pets and belongings, and friends who love me and you’d think after all the work I’ve done to get here I’d be happy but I’m not. My body has recently began to change and become more “womanly” and I’ve never felt so alienated. I don’t know if I just hate myself or if I hate my body and the ideas that were forced into my mind from a young age still seem to have a grip on me that I can’t shake. I’m afraid of the idea that I might not be a woman but I don’t understand things outside my own mind enough to embrace the idea that I might be more comfortable as a man. The Mormon faith teaches that your body is a gift and for years I was the “ideal Mormon girl” long blonde hair, blue eyes, skinny build, and smaller chest. I got compliments regularly and attention I didn’t really want but silently liked because I felt wanted. Now I am older and I can control how I look so I cut all my hair off and made a goal to gain weight, I was tired of being that girl they use to describe me as. Now that I’ve grown into my body I have big hips and a big chest and a round face and for the first time ever I hate how I look. I don’t mean to sound conceited when I saw that but it’s true I never really worried about my looks before. It’s absolutely disheartening for me to be here now, I made all the changes to myself, changes I thought would make me feel more like myself, and dare I say attractive and happy just to learn that I hate how my appearance has changed and feel like I made a mistake. I don’t want to look like a feminine I never really have I’ve always been a tomboy and yet I find myself stuck in this in between state of wanting to be pretty but masculine. Strong but beautiful. That feels like an impossible dream. Something I’ve fabricated in my mind but can never achieve. I wish I was taught how to love me instead of how to love the womanly body I was so graciously given from god.

So ... I was a bit late to finishing the books, and then when I started looking up fan discussions on here, I was pretty surprised to see so little speculation about Brienne's future as a major hero of ASOIAF. It seems to me that GRRM has been hanging all kinds of hints on her without explicitly calling attention to them, kind of like how there are zillions of clues about the Red Wedding that become more obvious on re-read.
Here is (probably) a not even comprehensive list of interesting plot details about Brienne of Tarth:

• Brienne is set to inherit the title of Evenstar, which is an allusion to a very heroic character from LOTR
• She wields a fiery red sword made from Ice
• Bloodraven or Bran or someone weirwood-related seems to want her to wield this sword, judging first by Jaime's ASoS weirwood dream (which encouraged him to give her a sword) and second by Brienne's (very likely) weirwood dream sequence at the end of AFfC (in which she kept being reminded that she needed her sword, right before her "sword or noose" confrontation with Stoneheart)
• Brienne and her sword have already been compared in the text to another legendary hero, Galladon of Morne
• Brienne is one of very few "true knights" in the series, of course with the irony that she isn't a knight at all. But this isn't a minor point -- a major theme of ASOIAF is whether and when violence can be justified, and the deconstruction of chivalry plays a central role in exploring this theme. Brienne, as a warrior whom the story has so far presented as righteous, therefore occupies an honestly very unusual place in the narrative.
• There are many obvious allusions to Brienne in the Dunk and Egg novella series -- to an almost ridiculous degree, with of course the cherry on top being that Dunk is Brienne's ancestor. I wondered for a while why GRRM was motivated to write this spinoff series -- like of all the topics he could've written about, why focus on these characters, and this time period -- and it struck me that the main-series characters who are most closely connected with A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms are Bran (via Bloodraven) and Brienne (parallel to Dunk). And the novella series grapples with a lot of the same themes about chivalry and honor and knighthood that Brienne's own POV chapters do. If I had to choose a single POV whose chapters are most in conversation with A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, it's Brienne, easily.
• The weirwoods have shown a major POV character a vision of Brienne wielding a burning sword against ice zombies (and the fire in Brienne's sword does not go out).
• ASOIAF is a series about duality (it's in the title) and it's interesting that Brienne's whole shtick as a character is that she is constantly faced with either-or choices and chooses both. She is loyal to both a Stark and a Lannister; exhibits both conventionally masculine and feminine traits; is honorable and idealistic, but is also learning more about the world and developing a more complex moral code. You can see this duality in the two uses of Oathkeeper in AFfC, in which the first use represents a loss of innocence, like the death of chivalry, while the second use is a rejection of nihilism. Also notice how Brienne, who has been trusted by both Starks and Lannisters to carry out conciliatory missions, is faced with enemies and foils who, like her, ride on both sides of this divide (Bloody Mummers, the Hound), but whose nihilistic opportunism is contrasted with Brienne's sincerity.
• Brienne is also a foil to literally everyone -- Sansa in the first half of AFfC, Arya in the second half of AFfC, Jaime in ASoS, but also, as noted by Jaime, to Tyrion; to Samwell Tarly as made obvious by her many interactions with Randyll in AFfC; and to Cersei obviously; and maybe most interestingly and most overtly, to Sandor throughout AFfC.

I honestly don't know what the endgame plan is for this series with respect to the Others and Daenerys and Euron and Bran etc, or what kind of heroism is in store for Brienne. But it is really strange to me that so many really important themes for the series are explored with her character, and a not-insignificant number of fire-ice imagery is associated with her, and yet she still plays so small a role in fan conjectures about where all of this is headed.
All I can say is, if I had to bet on the plans of an author who likes to surprise us and deconstruct and reconstruct common fantasy tropes, but who also still drops a lot of hints about his intentions (a la Red Wedding), my money would be on Brienne and probably also Sam to do some heroic shenanigans in the endgame.

I'm 25yr old gay man who is pretty secure about my sexuality. I am versatile, my preference changes based on my partner - I am attracted to both masculine top and cute bottom. And I have this gay friend who tells me I'm actually just a bottom and that I'm in denial of my true self.
My friend is femme, though not too blatant, and seems to think that all gay has that flamboyant side. For some context - I met this friend on Tinder. I normally don't look for just friends on dating app, but I wanted to befriend other closeted gays, so we just hung out as friends. He is cute, and at first I had a bit of a crush on him but I don't anymore. So occasionally I share my dating stories with him, and his reactions annoy me all the time. When I'm dating a masculine top he's like "oh now youre finally admitting your inner bottom" - and when im dating a bottom he tells me I'm pretending to be masculine.
I wouldn't describe myself as masculine, since I don't have that manly physique (I'm lean) and macho personalities etc. But I also don't have the feminine qualities - like the hand gesture, high voice tone, stuff like that. I am sure about this because whenever I come out to my close friends they tell me they didn't know, they kinda always thought I had a secret girlfriend (mostly because I have mang girl-friends) I am sensitive though - I like reading romance novels, i listen to mellow pop like jeremy zucker and stuff, and I go along well with women because I have an older sister. I never really thought about labeling myself as either masculine or feminine but my friend is making me rethink if I'm just shy to show my inner gayness. I'm conflicted because I do hide some part of me because I'm closeted, and I tend to get more touchy and younger-brother-y when I'm in my close friends group. When I asked my current boyfriend (who is masculine top who occassionally watches ru paul's drag race btw) he said I'm boyish, which I kinda agree. Any opinions?

Hi!!! I’m here looking for a genuine relationship, or at least something that’s monogamous and long term. So if that sounds ideal then please read ahead!
I’ll start off with my personality, physical appearance then my interests.
I am pretty introverted, doesn’t mean I struggle with communication but I do ask that you give me something to reply to! But I’m fairly shy but I’m trying to put myself out there. I can be pretty talkative once I warm up to someone though and I like to joke around a lot.
Physically I am built pretty lean, I am 5’10, I weigh around 155, I have long brown hair and eyes, but I’m pretty skinny which I plan on working on.
When it comes to interests I have quite a bit that I like, one of my biggest things is music. I personally listen to like 2000s rock, my biggest bands ever are Foo Fighters and Red Hot Chili Peppers, but you’ll find me listening to Metallica or something on occasions.
I’m not too big on anime, but I’ve watched and enjoyed a few of them like Bleach, Soul Eater, Kengan Ashura, Jujutsu Kaisen, and Jojo’s. I would like to watch way more so I’d like some recommendations!
I also play video games, I’ve mostly spent my time on Roblox, which I’ve been on that since 2011, but I have had an interest to play Minecraft and Terraria as of late, I also have a pretty decent sized library on steam!
I have a few other small interests I do on occasions like drawing, cooking/baking, and I am planning to work out a lot more!
I’m trying to make this too lengthy, so I’ll close off soon, but I am mainly looking for anyone leaning more feminine, though I am ok with whoever I don’t mind, so feel free to message me still regardless.
One last thing too, please give me an introduction about yourself or at least try to be engaging because not doing that will feel like a chore responding, but besides that I do have discord which is my preferable way to talk, so feel free to ask for that, thanks for reading this though I look forward to meeting you!

So I’m 16 FTM, I present pretty masculine and have a masculine face but not at all a masculine personality. I love dressing very basic boyish with aspects of feminine trends. (I love my UGGS) I also wear more feminine colors like pastels and have feminine jewelry. The only thing is i don’t like how because i have that stuff it makes people just think im a lesbian and sometimes its makes me feel like im not actually trans which sounds weird because of how uncomfortable fem pronouns and compliments and my body make me feel. Does anyone have any tips on how to still dress in cute outfits that are masculine but also androgynous? I just hate being called a girl and gay when i wear that stuff.

Hi!!! I’m here looking for a genuine relationship, or at least something that’s monogamous and long term. So if that sounds ideal then please read ahead!
I’ll start off with my personality, physical appearance then my interests.
I am pretty introverted, doesn’t mean I struggle with communication but I do ask that you give me something to reply to! But I’m fairly shy but I’m trying to put myself out there. I can be pretty talkative once I warm up to someone though and I like to joke around a lot.
Physically I am built pretty lean, I am 5’10, I weigh around 155, I have long brown hair and eyes, but I’m pretty skinny which I plan on working on.
When it comes to interests I have quite a bit that I like, one of my biggest things is music. I personally listen to like 2000s rock, my biggest bands ever are Foo Fighters and Red Hot Chili Peppers, but you’ll find me listening to Metallica or something on occasions.
I’m not too big on anime, but I’ve watched and enjoyed a few of them like Bleach, Soul Eater, Kengan Ashura, Jujutsu Kaisen, and Jojo’s. I would like to watch way more so I’d like some recommendations!
I also play video games, I’ve mostly spent my time on Roblox, which I’ve been on that since 2011, but I have had an interest to play Minecraft and Terraria as of late, I also have a pretty decent sized library on steam!
I have a few other small interests I do on occasions like drawing, cooking/baking, and I am planning to work out a lot more!
I’m trying to make this too lengthy, so I’ll close off soon, but I am mainly looking for anyone leaning more feminine, though I am ok with whoever I don’t mind, so feel free to message me still regardless.
One last thing too, please give me an introduction about yourself or at least try to be engaging because not doing that will feel like a chore responding, but besides that I do have discord which is my preferable way to talk, so feel free to ask for that, thanks for reading this though I look forward to meeting you!

So in October, i experimented with the idea of being trans, after years of denying that it’s possible .I felt like i was, but it got to a point where all of my inner thoughts made me give up on experimenting more. Thoughts like how people would react if i came out, or if it was a hyper-focus. If there’s even a point, like if i ever truly would feel comfortable in my own body even with every surgery and hormone replacement. It’s almost like all of my gender dysphoria left, i mean i was depressed as fuck but i felt okay in my body since last October. Now, in may I’m thinking about it again and this feeling is just fucking agonizing. My brain feels like it’s scratching itself apart.
I can’t look in a mirror without hating the person staring back, and i don’t know why. My upper half is a skinny, ugly, broad shouldered mess while my lower half is a hairy, ugly, and has a piece of fat hanging off. I hate the person i have to be to act like a man. I hate having to act like i’m masculine.
Even when i dress up as a women it doesn’t change a single thing, like i see myself in different clothes, makeup, longer hair but i can’t help but feel that I’m just playing dress up? Like I’m just some fraud. I desperately want to look in the mirror and see the person i feel i am, but literally nothing i do is fixing the dysphoria at all.
I’m in bed today, i can’t get the motivation to clean myself, look nice because i lost any reasoning to other than to appeal other people. I can’t do anything, i haven’t eaten a single thing for a few days. And even when i try to, i either gag, or i just throw it right back up.
My girlfriend is very supportive and is helping me, but when she calls me by she/her or uses a different name it makes me feel so uncomfortable, despite me desperately wanting to be called she/her and go by a different name. I don’t even understand why and it’s so frustrating. When she compliments me, calling me pretty, i feel like i want to break down and cry because i know that im not the pretty i want to be. Knowing that i can never be a cis girl.
I want nothing but to come out, but as a minor it makes things so much more difficult. My relationship with almost all of my family members except a minor few would just be ruined. I know the exact way they would look at me, almost in disgust, as if I am a pervert for being trans.
And forget school. My social anxiety is already bad enough, that if i came out i would essentially fuck my self over even more.
I’m just stuck, i can’t bear this feeling of pain by being a man, but even when i change my clothes, my hair, use makeup, all of these feminine items i feel no different, and i almost feel as if my depression gets worse when i do appear as a female. What do i do now?

Yeah, a lot of this is just me yapping about my life story and whatnot, so I’ll do a TL;DR at the end for y’all.
For me I didn’t realize I wasn’t cis until I was 14-15 (I’m 20 now). That was the time I started to learn more about LGBTQIA+ stuff in general from a close friend, the Internet, etc. When I first learned what being trans was outside of surgery and all that jazz, I started to realize that maybe I, too, was trans. I started to really question for a while despite not really thinking I was trans before or realizing there was any dysphoria there.
I grew up pretty much always presenting as female, dressing all girly and stuff, playing with Barbies, and not really having a problem with that. Well, not really having a problem with it except for when I was “Otis.” That was the name I chose when I was playing as a boy (mind you, I was around 8’ish this time). I enjoyed being Otis, to the point of being him every day hours on end. I never was able to fully enjoy it, however, since all the clothes I owned were all excessively girly, and my hair was extremely long (so then I’d hide it in a hat). At one point I even remember wanting to go to school as Otis, but I knew I couldn’t. My family never saw a problem with this, though they’re extremely transphobic. I was wondering if any cis person has ever done something like this in their childhood or if this was possibly a sign of my transness. Aside from that, I didn’t have a problem with being considered a girl with all my pink colored things and dresses and pantyhose.
I didn’t really have any signs of dysphoria until I hit puberty, when I completely ditched all the girly stuff to become a tomboy. I always felt upset when I was called a “girly girl” by my sister or anyone. Although I never liked to admit it, that girly part of me still remained and still somewhat remains today. I didn’t want to be thought of as girly or ultra feminine; I wanted to be ultra masculine and felt like I needed to put on an act to be perceived that way. That!s part of the reason I was wondering if I was faking; wondering if I really am trans or “just a tomboy.”
I know growing up I hated tampons, enjoyed having a smaller chest and not wanting to accentuate it, and HATED it when my hair grew super long. I started acting hyper feminine again in middle school because I wanted people to like me, even though I felt pretty exposed most of the time. I wanted to be like my older sister, since people seemed to really like her and want to be her friend, so I adopted her sense of style and let her do my makeup. It never really felt like me, though, and it felt too much like I wasn’t being my true self, so I eventually ditched it again for wearing no makeup and wearing stuff that was more my style. I realized I wasted so much time being someone else, as my real friends were there to support me no matter who I was, and I never had to put on an act for them. I never really absolutely hated looking like that though, but I definitely preferred my real style, even though it was still sorta feminine. For that reason, have I been faking this whole time?
I really learned what being trans when I was 14, learning that it isn’t just surgery and that there’s more to it than just that. After seeing trans people on TikTok (specifically trans men), I slowly started to watch them more and realize that I myself am trans. There was this one TikToker who I absolutely wanted to be, and so I learned the basics of trans related things like binding, tying my long hair back, learning about gender dysphoria, etc. I initially came out as nonbinary, seeing as I wasn’t too dysphoric all the time and didn’t feel like doing more research. I settled on they/them for a few months before evolving to they/he, he/they, then to he/him in a span of a few months. I didn’t know or realize there was any problem until I learned about being trans, so is it just another case of someone reading about something and thinking it’s the end all when it isn’t? Or is this normal trans people things?
Today I was reading through Reddit about other trans men and their experiences with bottom dysphoria and stuff. Mine isn’t toooooooo terrible all the time (though it is definitely there). Though I’ve also never done the deed with anyone and don’t know how dysphoric it would make me to use the organ in that way (honestly I gave up trying to give that part a name that didn’t make me dysphoric, so I just call it Tom). I’d be willing to try using it for sex if me and my current bf got there, but that’s another thing I worry about: being willing to try PIV when other trans men aren’t. That really made me worry if I’ve been faking it for 5+ years, and everything I’ve done to affirm myself up until this point was all for nothing. My family would probably be happier if I just stuck to being a cis girl, anyway.
TL;DR: I worry I might be faking my trans identity for 5+ years because of my differing experiences with my childhood/growing up from what is expected from most trans people, and from a lack of feeling super dysphoric all the time even with some definitely being there.
So Reddit, am I faking being trans ,or is all of this normal for other trans people?

This is my first time posting here so let me know if I'm doing anything wrong, should give more info, etc.
I've been working on my first (so-far unnamed) conlang for the past two years for a worldbuilding project. I recently had the idea that it would be good to create a family of languages around the one I currently have. Since my Conlang is still in the relatively early stages (I have most of a phonology and a handful of simple words, very little actual grammar besides for planned features) and I'd rather not start completely from scratch (it did take a two years to get to this point after all), I figured it'd be easiest to "reverse-evolve" what I already have to get a proto-lang, and then normal-evolve that to get multiple conlangs that I could actually use. One of my main goals is naturalism, so I would greatly appreciate feedback on how to improve what I have, but my main question is as to how I might go about constructing a Proto-lang based on my current work, so that I can flesh both of them out to point where they're actually usable.
The phonology (or what there is of it) of my conlang is mostly based on Old Norse and Icelandic, and is as follows:

Phonology

Phonemes

Consonants

	Labial	Dental	Alveolar	Palatal	Velar	Glottal
Nasal	m		(n̥) n		(ŋ)
Stop	p b		t d		k (ɡ)
Fricative	f v	θ ð	s (z)	(ç)	x ɣ	(h)
Approximant	(ʍ) w			j	(ʍ) w
Rhotic			(ɾ̥) ɾ
Lateral			(ɬ) l		(ɫ)

Symbols in parentheses represent allophones
I'm a little on the fence about including /v/

Vowels

Monophthongs

	Front Unrounded	Front Rounded	Central	Back
High	i iː	y yː		u uː
Mid	e eː	ø øː		o oː
Low	æ æː		a aː	ɒ ɒː

I'm also on the fence about including /ɒ ɒː/

Diphthongs

/ai̯ au̯ ei̯ oi̯ øi̯/ (idk how you're supposed to organize diphthongs in a table)

Gemination

Some consonants can be geminated in syllables codas (especially word-final) or cross syllabically. The consonants that can geminate in coda positions are /m n p t k f s ɣ ɾ l/. All of these, as well as /b d θ ð/, can also be geminated over a syllable boundary, i.e. when one syllable ends with the same consonant the next syllable begins with.

Phonotactics

General Syllable Structure: (C/sP̥)(v)V(C)⁴
P̥ represents a voiceless plosive /p t k/
R represents a sonorant /m n w j ɾ l/
Syllabic consonants can only occur word-finally, and only /n ɾ l/ can be syllabic

Allophony

I've come up with a handful of rules for allophonic variation. Here are are a few of them:
x → h / #_
ɣ → ɡ / {#,n}_
n → ŋ / _{k,ɣ}
x{n,w,j,ɾ,l} → {n̥,ʍ,ç,ɾ̥,ɬ}
ɾɾ → rː

Grammar

Again, I don't really have much in the way of grammar, but these are some of the features I hope to include in this conlang:

• 5 Noun cases: Nominative, Accusative, Dative, Instrumental, Genitive
• Clusivity in 1st-person plural pronouns, possibly eveolved from a dual-plural distinction (if that's realistic)
• Masculine, feminine, and neuter genders (only present in 3rd-person singular pronouns)
• Proximal-medial-distal distinction in demonstratives
• Vowel gradation in verb conjugations, most likely to mark tense-aspect-mood

Once again, I am mainly wondering how to "reverse" the state of my Conlang to get a Proto-language that I could flesh out more before evolving it into a more complete Conlang. Any advice or feedback on anything I have shared or mentioned would be immensely appreciated.

From my Fetlife. Prepare for cringefest. Tell me your thoughts about my cringe.
Hello, everyone. I'd like to introduce myself to you.
Ever since I turned 20, I've been dreaming of becoming another woman's housewife (or, as I like to say, a "wifey"), but I've never exactly known how to make it become a reality. I've always been an extremely submissive person and life hasn't treated me very well both for being like that and for trying not to be like that. I score extremely highly in agreeableness and I take great pleasure in serving those I care for. Specifically and preferably, a woman I love and who also loves me. Today, I'm looking for a romantic, ordinary and 100% monogamous relationship with a woman, but one that includes the element of dominance and submission and the possibility of me being her full-time housewife. While she works, I take care of the house. When she comes home, I take care of her. Always very lovingly and completely given to her body and soul as well as to the household's domestic duties. In practice, I want to be the woman in the relationship. I want to go far beyond the basics such as cooking and cleaning: I want to be responsible for doing her nails, her make-up and giving her massages whenever she wants them. I want to learn to cook everything she likes to eat. Maybe even learn gardening to take care of her plants. Perhaps the origin of this is an innate need of mine to be necessary and useful to someone and I guess that is how it is.
Inevitably, I believe this relationship would also include elements of platonic worship. The reason for this is that I have always harboured an adoration for the female figure, the female energy, the female essence and the female appearance. None of this is sexual. In fact, I feel that this element of platonic worship is so strong that I would even feel uncomfortable seeing my dominating partner naked because it would make me feel the same dirty lust for her that I'd feel for porn actresses when I'd watch their movies and I feel that this would be disrespectful to her and to what her image represents to me. This adoration for the female figure is also one of the reasons for my gender transition, which began in September of 2023. I admire the feminine image so much that I want to make it a part of me. I don't like being a man, looking like a man, being treated like a man, behaving like a man and, God fobid, dealing with masculine gender roles. I have an enormous need to feminize my gender expression because that's what makes me happy.
For reasons that are far beyond my control and that may sound cheesy, I always end up seeing women whom I find beautiful to be superior to me. Not in a bad way, but simply in a kind of hierarchy where I'm below them. So, for some reason, I feel fulfilled imagining myself serving them in a completely devoted way. In a way, I can sum myself up as a human Golden Retriever in terms of loyalty, perhaps to pathological levels. Such a level of unexplored and repressed loyalty that I can easily imagine myself getting so deeply involved with the right woman and creating an emotional bond so indestructible that I would go as far as burying a body with her without giving it a second thought. It's as if there were a hurricane inside me waiting for the ideal conditions to form and destroy everything in its path to reach its goal. My goal is domestic servitude within a romantic relationship and this storm inside me will only grow larger and larger over time. I don't see much value in ordinary work as in working for a company. I only see meaning and purpose in domestic work in a relationship for and with a woman I love with great obedience, dedication, submission and gratitude. I don't see myself as a leader, but as someone to be led.
I come from a place where I suffered a lot of verbal abuse directed at my appearance for being too thin and I see that the world today is full of evil people with an evil intent who get off at doing evil things and also of people who omit themselves when they observe evil being done and end up becoming accomplices by omission. All of this makes me really want to put myself in a kind of safe space with someone trustworthy where I don't have to be constantly watching over my shoulder in order to check whether there already are vultures circling me from above waiting for the ideal moment to pounce. I look like an easy victim for predators and I've always attracted them without any difficulty, unfortunately. I am soft and highly sought by them. I want to be able, if only for a few hours, to let my guard down completely knowing that I'm not in danger and that I'm with someone well-intending who, at worst, doesn't wish me harm and, at best, actively cares about my well-being. In other words, a relationship like any other. I very much want and like the idea of giving myself body and soul to a woman who has consideration for me, for whom I have value and who is in charge of the relationship (FLR). As I said, I want to put myself in a situation of total vulnerability in a controlled and safe environment with a person I can trust and who means well. I want to put myself below them in every situation and always put them before myself unconditionally. I want to live under domestic servitude, as well as having a romantic, ordinary, monogamous relationship like any other. If there's no love, there's no point. I can't explain exactly what I feel, but I see this dynamic as the most honest way I can express love to my owner, mistress and friend. This is the rawest and most sincere manifestation of my personality. And please don't get me wrong: I'm not here trying to "cure" myself through BDSM or draw attention to myself by talking about my problems that nobody cares about. I'm just putting all this into context and explaining objective reality as it is, that's all.
I have no idea how I'm going to fulfill this dream and where I'm going to find this woman. I see a lot of profiles here of dommes who are only in it for fetishistic reasons and to make money and that makes me a little sad. But I understand, since a relationship can end up being a very big responsibility and many women don't want this kind of burden in their lives. Not to mention that the temptation of financial gain must be too great for them not to take advantage of. And in an economy like this, I think it will be considerably difficult to find a woman who will want to keep someone at home without generating income just taking care of the household chores. The odds don't seem to be in my favor and the entire setting seems less than ideal.
I feel disgusted by and abhor any fetish scenario that involves the element of being a housewife, maid and the like, especially if it includes elements of humiliation for carrying out such activity. I understand that for some it can be pleasurable, but for me it's despicable. I can't associate being a housewife with something humiliating and if that's your intention with me, don't get in touch. As for sexual activity in general in a relationship, I don't have much to say. Hormone replacement therapy completely obliterated my libido and I see no purpose in any activity that promotes my sexual pleasure. To all intents and purposes, I've become somewhat asexual. I'd accept being penetrated by my domme if she wanted to, since I'd put her wishes before my own, but I feel it's hardly something I'd ask for. I'm much more interested in the emotional side of the relationship than the sexual.
Still on the subject of sexuality, I feel that the word "virgin" isn't accurate enough to describe myself. This word is used to refer to people who have never had sex, which is my case, but I've also never had any other intimate experience with a woman. It's not that I've never had sex, I've never even hugged a woman in bed. I've barely experienced any degree of intimacy with a woman before. I suppose this complete lack of sexual experience will be viewed in a very bad light by the women I seek, but I don't think there's much I can do about it. I have no interest in having these first experiences with, for example, a prostitute because I'm looking for a real emotional connection in a legitimate relationship. I'm a romantic and I have no choice but to wait.
I can't imagine a life in which I allow this dream not to come true. It can't not happen. If it doesn't, I'll have an extremely bitter deathbed full of regrets.
When it comes to the woman I'm looking for, I only have three demands: don't be a drug user (cigarretes included), be a gentle domme and unconditionally monogamous.
My gratitude for you will be eternal and my debt to you unpayable.
I hope the woman I'm looking for is out there waiting to be found.

I've always known about the series, but I never gave it a chance, I thought it wasn't for me. However, being 26 now, I said why not? two months later and i've finished the whole series plus the 2 movies today. (AJLT awaits) I know probably nobody cares about my personal thoughts BUT i've had so much fun reading everyone else's posts so I wanted to give it a try! I'll try to not make this THAT long lol
First Seasons: I loved the first episodes so much, the jazzy vibes, the 90s feeling, the way Carrie narrates and the whole flow of the show. I found the whole Big thing a little annoying at first, because I'm kinda like Miranda when it comes to men, i don't take their bullshit so I always thought Big was just an asshole and Carrie acted way too desperate around him. (I'll talk more about Big later)
Season 5: Probably the worst IMO, I know others think the same (shor hair Carrie: bad Carrie). It was very shot but I didn't complain cause I kinda just wanted it to end.
Ending: I really liked the ending of the original series, it felt a little rushed at some points but they managed to tie the knots (idk if that's a saying in the US, i'm from Argentina) but overall it was very sweet and maybe, unrealistic, but that's SATC. Mixing realistic aspects with corny, unrealistic fantasies that make you wanna fall in love (in NY).
Carrie: Ok, I know we all hate Carrie sometimes, she has plenty of arrogant, selfish, childish, ignorant and whiny moments but I have to admit, she grew on me. She's flawed yes but i actually do see character development through the seasons. She made many mistakes and never failed to make everything about her, even if it meant being a bad friend at times but i think there's a lot of scenes where she's a good friend and the gum that kept the group together, she was pretty neutral when the others would fight and overall she would always try to make it up to them when in the wrong.
Miranda: probably mi fav character out of the four girls. She's kinda mean at first and sometimes she's a little left behind in the plots, but I think she's a key character since she brings that reality and down to Earth vibe. She's the most open minded even though she's portrayed as judgemental. I love the fact that she chooses Steve, two very different people yet they seem to have so much in common. Their ending is lovely and very sweet (Madga and that forehead kiss).
Charlotte: Second favorite character, I just love how hopeful and naive she is when it comes to love, she's so feminine and motherly, even if she falls into being a little too conservative at times, she's just full of love and she's usually the optimistic of the group, cheering them up and convincing them there's always a good side to things. The whole Trey thing bore me, really fast. I love her with Harry and the fact they adopted Lily after everything, she finally had the family she wanted. Top notch ending for me.
Samantha: I really like Sam although i'm a mix of Miranda and Char (seems impossible), so relating to her was kinda hard at times. Having said that, Kim killed the role, she was the perfect Sam and I love some moments of her where she shows how strong she is. I think Smith was perfect for her, I never liked Richard AT ALL. The ending, once again, was beautiful and I wish she stayed with Smith so I pretend the movie didn't happen. Sam was, with Miranda, i think the most loyal friend.
The guys: Don't judge me but Big grew on me, by the last seasons he was just very changed and showed to be so much more mature, loving and chill than some other assholes. I think Carrie changed so much too, that they really fitted each other by the end. I liked Aiden, he just wasn't for Carrie. That guy Berger, i hated him, I basically skipped the whole plot. Aleksandr didn't do it for me, like there was something so off with him (besides the slap).
Movies: i MUST say i absolutely love the intro of both movies, the rest of them I think just lost the plot and the original feeling of the show, too many fancy things going on and unncessary stuff like Steve cheating, Sam leaving Smith, the nanny thing. Also, some jokes are really offensive but not even funny? Char acting weird with mexico food, Miranda saying "follow the white guy" at Brooklyn, the second movie had some of these too. I didn't like at all that scene where Sam judges Miranda for not shaving, idk it was very out of the blue and not herself.
Conclusion: I fell in love with the show and will rewatch it many times. I laughed, cried, cringed and gasped. I can´t wait to find out what my 30, 40 years old self will think about it. For now I thank it so much, one of the things that stood out to me is how much fun they had in their 30s. Hell, when i watched the 20 something girls episode, i couldn't belive the way they talked about the 20's. It made me realize how young I actually am (it's a hard topic for me) and it showed me there's so much to explore yet. I feel more than happy to say that since i've started the show, i have this feeling like i can do whatever i want and even if it's naive and corny, i rather live like that for now, being free and fabolous!

I’ve been on hrt for about 2weeks now. Estrogel (Gynokadin 0.75 mg per pump) 4 times a day scrotally.
(not at the same time of day every day. That would get stressful and I also thought it wouldn’t matter that much in getting to plateau levels. Sometimes I even have 12 hour gaps or so)
I’ve heard that scrotal application results in very spiked levels in terms of ups and downs and wondered whether that could reduce my ability to gain clarity and understanding of my issues since I really fluctuate between feeling at home in a more masculine role and a more feminine role on a day to day / situation to situation - basis. Ofc the fluctuating levels have no influence in my feelings towards my gender to begin with. I just thought it could be an unnecessary distraction in figuring out my gender. Maybe more stable levels will achieve a more stable, 'end level' state of my brain on E as opposed to a ¿confused? hormone glob (although I have been feeling pretty chill throughout the day lately. No crashes or burst-like highs except that I’m generally a lot more sleepy than before)
Anyone have thoughts on the effect of fluctuating levels if in they even fluctuate that much in the first place with this way of administration 🤔
(waiting to do my first blood test since I figured it’d be too early for plateau levels to set)
I’d love some input Thanks

So I've reverted back to boymode for the last 2ish months because I suffered some aggression from strangers at the mall/on the city bus. One of them almost got physically aggressive with me but I was able to avoid that. Since I've been back in a masculine expression, I've seen just how far I am from being able to pass as a woman and I am no longer surprised that I was receiving negative attention from bigoted people. I do not look even remotely feminine and I certainly do not look like I've been on hormones for the over 2 years that I have. It's really been a miserable experience that I've tried to come to terms with. My therapy has been helpful but it has been focused on how to be comfortable as a man and how for some transgender people "just knowing is enough" and not everyone has to medically transition...
I have the opportunity to get FFS in the coming year, which I am excited about but I find myself hesitant. Because there is so much about me that is clocky, for example wide ribcage/stocky build/broad shouldegorilla hands etc... that if I were to get FFS it really wouldn't do much for me passing... but all it would serve to do is eliminate my boymode as something I could run back to and hide in. With FFS it's possible that, while I still wouldn't pass, I'd be forever in this state of "obviously trans" no matter if I dressed femininely or masculinely.
I just wish the answer were more clear. I wish I knew that with FFS I'd likely pass and not have to worry about bigoted assholes humiliating me wherever I go in public. I think a perma-detransition is likely in my future. Going under the knife and surgically altering my face is a lot to ask given that the outcome is so uncertain.
Has anyone else gone through this? Idk if I can take being closeted for the rest of my life but I also don't know if I can withstand the hatred that clocky trans people get in this world.

Does anyone else's parents incidentally invalidate them? I'm transmasc and I get misgendered by my mom a lot and when I try to correct her she says such invalidating things to me like I "don't seem like a boy" and that I "never acted like one growing up" and "I don't see it" and "most people know from birth that they're trans" and "you seem like you're both feminine and masculine". It just kind of hurts and I don't think she realizes this. The thing is I've been told by multiple people that I pass as a boy and people in the street gender me correctly. What is her deal? My parents don't take my gender identity seriously. They still misgender me two and a half years after I came out to them. Does anyone else have parents that do this? What would you do in my situation? I already plan on taking some time away from her when I move out next year but until that happens it's just going to be a little rough to live with. Don't get me wrong they both accept me for the most part and aren't intentionally rude about it and try to use my pronouns even if they hastily correct themselves after misgendering me. They just don't seem to see me as a man is all and don't seem to take my gender seriously.

Does anyone else's parents incidentally invalidate them? I'm transmasc and I get misgendered by my mom a lot and when I try to correct her she says such invalidating things to me like I "don't seem like a boy" and that I "never acted like one growing up" and "I don't see it" and "most people know from birth that they're trans" and "you seem like you're both feminine and masculine". It just kind of hurts and I don't think she realizes this. The thing is I've been told by multiple people that I pass as a boy and people in the street gender me correctly. What is her deal? My parents don't take my gender identity seriously. They still misgender me two and a half years after I came out to them. Does anyone else have parents that do this? What would you do in my situation? I already plan on taking some time away from her when I move out next year but until that happens it's just going to be a little rough to live with. Don't get me wrong they both accept me for the most part and aren't intentionally rude about it and try to use my pronouns even if they hastily correct themselves after misgendering me. They just don't seem to see me as a man is all and don't seem to take my gender seriously.

So I have a new friend of a few weeks now, and they are agender and use they/them pronouns. They are my first trans friend, my first experience with someone using they/them pronouns, and my first friend who's into feminine things. Before I knew them, they had been masculinizing for two years, but now, they are very very feminine-bodied and presenting. We've had a girls' night and gone shopping, and they've even mentioned not knowing how they might feel about their identity down the road. I have really enjoyed who they are so far, and at the same time I have also really just enjoyed for the first time having a friend who knows a lot about feminity and shares that with me. When mentioning them to other people, I'm actually quite good about using the correct pronouns. But because of how I see them, and how I spend time with them a lot, I mentally find myself using feminine pronouns and having to correct myself more often than I like, and I've even slipped up in front of them a few times. They say it's not a big deal, but I feel bad enough to write about it and want to work on it. Is it just a matter of practice, making mental corrections, and getting to know more NB/Agender people? I've become aware now of more NBs online and IRL lately than I really did most of my life before, and if someone I assume to be a feminine/masculine/androgynous male/female at first says they are NB I'd like to make that changeover without making mistakes repeatedly.

FYI in polish if we say a sentence such as 'I saw a person. They were walking down the road.' rather than 'they' we would say say 'she' because 'person' (osoba) is a feminine noun
alternatively if we used the word 'human' (człowiek) instead of 'person' then rather than 'they' we would use 'he' because 'human' is a masculine noun in polish
so since this language clearly hates nonbinary people and wants to make their life harder I was wondering what non binary polish people use ?

Previous part: https://www.reddit.com/Jujutsufolk/s/Yxr0cpiEwe
Part IV: Bitchslap.
I was lucky that his mission was capturing me, not outright killing. That alone limit more than 99% of Jogo's firepower. He cannot use most of his moves which was meant to kill, can only aim and limit his flame at my limbs, else he would kill me instantly.
The moment he got trapped by my domain, he turned the tide immediately, easily overwhelmed me by his sheer firepower alone.
Sukuna was right. In the end, with an imperfect domain like that, I am still nowhere near the level of monsters like Jogo.
I need to be more serious. More focused. More greedy.
More free.
Be the man who've left it all behind. Carry on his sheer intensity.
Drown all obstacles in my shadow. Beating down everything to reach the very top.
That being said, those philosophies aren't a valid reason to pummel Maki's bitch of a sister. "Letting bitches know their proper place" should do tho. I've been a lot more and more violent lately
My head has been cooled down a lot after seeing a masculine face instead of a beaten up Mai.
Todo Aoi. Perfectly summed up in two words: Extremely Eccentric.
Boogie Woogie, his technique, allows him to switch the positions of anything with cursed energy within his range with a clap of his hands, which was used to save Mai moments before.
Knowledges I gathered from the seniors are very useful it seems. If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.
Casually ignoring that I just punched him at face, he asked me what kind of women I liked.
To piss him off, I answered: "Everything that move".
It was very effective.