Sayings about not caring people
r/DankChristianMemes šā
2015.03.08 05:53 davidd00 r/DankChristianMemes šā
DankChristianMemes is a place for all kinds of Christians and all kinds of non-Christians to enjoy memes and fellowship. Remember to love thy neighbor and be excellent to each other! šā
2015.06.21 23:34 hurbraa Don't you know who I am?
This is a place for instances of people not realizing who they're talking to is who they're talking about. Pool's closed, but we're still open!
2015.02.23 21:28 SCRIZZLEnetwork There is no need for clearance when you have confidence!
2024.05.14 00:19 Agreeable_Salad7448 Apostle Paul vs Prophet Muhammad
DISCLAIMER: This respectful and civil debate is oriented towards muslims. For the sake of the moderators time and also the readers I will only list 5 problems I've found. But don't worry I have 20 more to post if this post has more traffic!
According to the Quran, Jesus was a prophet of Islam, his followers were Muslims and the gospel is the inspired preserved authoritative word of Allah. But when we go to our earliest records, we find Jesus claiming to be the Divine Son of God who would die on the cross for sins and rise from the dead. Jesus followers proclaimed him as their Risen Lord, the gospel that Christians have been reading for nearly 2,000 years tells us that "Anyone who claims to be a prophet, rejects Jesus death, resurrection and deity is a false prophet and an antichrist" - 1 John 2:22, a verse to remember.
Problem 1. Earlier Records for Paul's Life than for Muhammad's Life - Our records of Paul's life are much earlier than our records of Muhammad's life. And here I don't just mean that Paul came centuries before Muhammad and so we have earlier sources for Paul's life, I mean that when we talk about the teachings and deeds of Paul the biographical sources we use are much closer to the events they report than the biographical sources we use when we talk about the teachings and deeds of Muhammad. Our earliest biographical sources on Paul were written during the lifetime of Paul. The book of Acts for example was written in the early 60s before Paul was martyred, and it was written by a traveling companion of Paul who was an eyewitness to many of the details he reports. We also have numerous letters written by Paul himself. Our earliest detailed biographical source on Muhammad is the sirah (biographical literature), especially the work of Ibn Ishaq (d. 768) which was written more than a century after Muhammad's death. And we don't even have what Ibn Ishaq actually wrote. We have an Abridged version that was sanitized by a later scholar and we shouldn't forget that many Muslims don't trust Ibn Ishaq. When Muslims quote stories about Muhammad, they're usually getting their information from sources like Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, which were written two centuries after the time of Muhammad.
Problem 1.1. But it gets worse... The main reason for composing works like Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim was that Muslims were composing so many false stories about Muhammad, people didn't know what to believe. Scholars like Bukari decided that they needed to collect stories they thought were accurate in order to distinguish them from the ever increasing supply of false narrations. Now if Muslims during the time of Bukhari were inventing stories about Muhammad, what about the generation before that, and the generation before that..? And the generation before that? Two centuries is a lot of time to make things up, that's why it's always good to have sources written within the lifetime of the person you want to know about or at least within the lifetimes of the eyewitnesses. When we learn about Paul we learn about him through first generation eyewitness accounts. When we learn about Muhammad, we learn about him through late sources written by people who didn't know him, whose parents didn't know him and whose grandparents didn't know him. People who were fishing for historical facts in a sea of fabrication and deception. A few years ago the crumbling historical foundations for the life of Muhammad led the Islamic scholar Muhammad Sven Kalisch to conclude that Muhammad probably never existed. I don't agree with Dr Kalisch's conclusion about Muhammad's existence, but when even Muslim Scholars are starting to recognize how difficult it's become to take Muslim sources seriously our confidence in the historical Muhammad vanishes.
Problem 2. Paul Was a brillian scholar; Muhammad Was Not - The Apostle Paul was a brilliant scholar who defended his views in Athens, the intellectual capital of the ancient world, and in other major cities. He had discussions with the Stoic and Epicurian philosophers of his day and he could quote their sources to them. Even Anthony Flu, one of the 20th Century's most impressive critics of Christianity, said that the Apostle Paul possessed a first class philosophical mind. Muhammad by contrast was an illiterate 7th Century Caravan Trader. Now being an illiterate 7th Century Caravan Trader doesn't make you wrong, just as being a brilliant scholar doesn't make you right. But when we're dealing with claims about history and theology and various other topics having some sort of education helps. Not having an education leaves you open to obviously false revelations because you don't know enough to recognize them as false. This is why we find Muhammad telling his followers that Dhul-Qarnain traveled so far west he found the place where the sun sets, and that stars are missile that Allah uses to shoot demons, and that semen is formed between the backbone and the ribs. These are exactly the sort of absurdities we would expect from someone who has no clue what he's talking about, and who therefore has no clue whether his revelations line up with reality.
Problem 3. Paul knew the Old Testament; Muhammad Did Not - The Apostle Paul was a Pharisee who studied under Rabban Gamaliel II, one of the greatest Jewish rabbis of the first century. Paul knew the Old Testament inside and out which is why he quotes the Old Testament so frequently in his writings. This is important because Jesus claimed to fulfill a variety of Old Testament prophecies and you can't really examine this claim if you don't know what the Old Testament says. Muhammad was almost completely ignorant of the Old Testament because his knowledge of the Jewish scriptures was limited to what he heard in conversations. Not surprisingly despite Muhammad's numerous interactions with Jews in Arabia the Quran contains very few quotations from the Old Testament. Due to his ignorance of the scriptures Muhammad couldn't tell the difference between stories that were in the Torah and therefore divine revelation and stories from later Jewish writings and commentaries some of which were so late and so obviously fabricated they weren't far beyond the level of bedtime stories. Imagine how amusing it must be for someone who specializes in Jewish literature, to read the Quran and find so many fables being presented to Muslims as Revelation. Cain being taught how to bury the dead by a raven (al-Ma`idah (The Table, The Table Spread) 5:31), Solomon listening to a speech by an ant (Surah An-Naml - 15-25). But Muhammad just didn't know enough to distinguish scripture from non-scripture. Muhammad's ignorance of the Old Testament is also noteworthy because, like Jesus, he claimed to fulfill Old Testament prophecies. If Muhammad had been more knowledgeable of the Torah, he would have known that he couldn't possibly be a prophet for numerous reasons. For instance:
Problem 3.1 Muslim sources report that Muhammad once delivered what are now called "The Satanic Verses" to his followers. These verses promoted prayers to three pagan goddesses, Al-Lat and Al-'Uzza and Manat (Surah 53:19-20). Muhammad bowed down in honor of these polytheistic verses and his followers bowed down with him. But a little later Gabriel confronted Muhammad about his sin, Muhammad confessed in the history of AT-TABARI 6:111. So Muhammad admitted that he delivered a revelation that didn't really come from God. Why is this important? Well in Deuteronomy 18:20 "God declares but a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods is to be put to death".
Problem 3.2 Muslims claim that they respect Moses, but if Muhammad had delivered "The Satanic Verses" during the time of Moses, Moses would have ordered the people to pick up stones and stone him to death as the most obvious false prophet in history. Muhammad didn't realize this due to his lack of familiarity with the Jewish scriptures.
Problem 4. Paul Was a Contemporary of Jesus Muhammad was not - The apostle Paul was a contemporary of Jesus and he spent much of his time in first century Israel, this put Paul in a perfect position to gain accurate historical information about Jesus. If you want reliable information about a person it's pretty helpful being a member of the person's own generation. And Paul was right there. Muhammad was born more than half a millennium after Jesus death in a completely different country. Since he couldn't read, apart from Divine Revelation his knowledge of Jesus was limited to whatever stories were popular in 7th Century Arabia. This is why when we read the Quran we find so many stories about Jesus that are known to be forgeries. Mary giving birth under a palm tree Surah Maryam - 16-26, Jesus preaching when he was still a baby Surat Maryam [19:29-34], Jesus giving life to clay birds Surah Al-Ma'idah - 110. We know where these stories come from, and they don't come from the first century.
Problem 5. Paul Spoke the Relevant Lanugaes Muhammad Didn't - The Apostle Paul was fluent in Hebrew Aramaic and Greek. All of the languages necessary for understanding the Old Testament, the claims of Jesus and the earliest Christian writings. Muhammad couldn't speak any of the relevant languages so any attempt to understand the Old Testament, the claims of Jesus, or the earliest Christian writings would have required the help of interpreters. I normally wouldn't bring this up as a problem, but since Muslims are obsessed with reading the Quran in the original Arabic, we can only assume that the writings of Moses, the teachings of Jesus and the writings of Jesus followers can only be understood in the original languages. Paul could do that, Muhammad couldn't. Muhammad's ignorance of the original languages leads to further problems: For example the Quran refers to the book revealed through, Jesus as the "Injil", but the Arabic word Injil is ultimately derived from the Greek word "Evangelion" meaning good news. So according to the Quran the book, revealed through Jesus was written in Greek, this makes absolutely no sense if Jesus was only sent to his fellow Jews as Islam claims, but it makes perfect sense if Jesus message was for the rest of the world as well since Greek was the international language of the time. Interestingly the New Testament gospels were written in Greek, exactly what we would expect given the quran's use of the term Injil, but quite unexpected given Muhammad's notion of Jesus life and mission, not to mention Muhammad's conviction that Revelations can't be translated. Quite hypocritical indeed.
submitted by Agreeable_Salad7448 to DebateReligion [link] [comments]
According to the Quran, Jesus was a prophet of Islam, his followers were Muslims and the gospel is the inspired preserved authoritative word of Allah. But when we go to our earliest records, we find Jesus claiming to be the Divine Son of God who would die on the cross for sins and rise from the dead. Jesus followers proclaimed him as their Risen Lord, the gospel that Christians have been reading for nearly 2,000 years tells us that "Anyone who claims to be a prophet, rejects Jesus death, resurrection and deity is a false prophet and an antichrist" - 1 John 2:22, a verse to remember.
Problem 1. Earlier Records for Paul's Life than for Muhammad's Life - Our records of Paul's life are much earlier than our records of Muhammad's life. And here I don't just mean that Paul came centuries before Muhammad and so we have earlier sources for Paul's life, I mean that when we talk about the teachings and deeds of Paul the biographical sources we use are much closer to the events they report than the biographical sources we use when we talk about the teachings and deeds of Muhammad. Our earliest biographical sources on Paul were written during the lifetime of Paul. The book of Acts for example was written in the early 60s before Paul was martyred, and it was written by a traveling companion of Paul who was an eyewitness to many of the details he reports. We also have numerous letters written by Paul himself. Our earliest detailed biographical source on Muhammad is the sirah (biographical literature), especially the work of Ibn Ishaq (d. 768) which was written more than a century after Muhammad's death. And we don't even have what Ibn Ishaq actually wrote. We have an Abridged version that was sanitized by a later scholar and we shouldn't forget that many Muslims don't trust Ibn Ishaq. When Muslims quote stories about Muhammad, they're usually getting their information from sources like Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, which were written two centuries after the time of Muhammad.
Problem 1.1. But it gets worse... The main reason for composing works like Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim was that Muslims were composing so many false stories about Muhammad, people didn't know what to believe. Scholars like Bukari decided that they needed to collect stories they thought were accurate in order to distinguish them from the ever increasing supply of false narrations. Now if Muslims during the time of Bukhari were inventing stories about Muhammad, what about the generation before that, and the generation before that..? And the generation before that? Two centuries is a lot of time to make things up, that's why it's always good to have sources written within the lifetime of the person you want to know about or at least within the lifetimes of the eyewitnesses. When we learn about Paul we learn about him through first generation eyewitness accounts. When we learn about Muhammad, we learn about him through late sources written by people who didn't know him, whose parents didn't know him and whose grandparents didn't know him. People who were fishing for historical facts in a sea of fabrication and deception. A few years ago the crumbling historical foundations for the life of Muhammad led the Islamic scholar Muhammad Sven Kalisch to conclude that Muhammad probably never existed. I don't agree with Dr Kalisch's conclusion about Muhammad's existence, but when even Muslim Scholars are starting to recognize how difficult it's become to take Muslim sources seriously our confidence in the historical Muhammad vanishes.
Problem 2. Paul Was a brillian scholar; Muhammad Was Not - The Apostle Paul was a brilliant scholar who defended his views in Athens, the intellectual capital of the ancient world, and in other major cities. He had discussions with the Stoic and Epicurian philosophers of his day and he could quote their sources to them. Even Anthony Flu, one of the 20th Century's most impressive critics of Christianity, said that the Apostle Paul possessed a first class philosophical mind. Muhammad by contrast was an illiterate 7th Century Caravan Trader. Now being an illiterate 7th Century Caravan Trader doesn't make you wrong, just as being a brilliant scholar doesn't make you right. But when we're dealing with claims about history and theology and various other topics having some sort of education helps. Not having an education leaves you open to obviously false revelations because you don't know enough to recognize them as false. This is why we find Muhammad telling his followers that Dhul-Qarnain traveled so far west he found the place where the sun sets, and that stars are missile that Allah uses to shoot demons, and that semen is formed between the backbone and the ribs. These are exactly the sort of absurdities we would expect from someone who has no clue what he's talking about, and who therefore has no clue whether his revelations line up with reality.
Problem 3. Paul knew the Old Testament; Muhammad Did Not - The Apostle Paul was a Pharisee who studied under Rabban Gamaliel II, one of the greatest Jewish rabbis of the first century. Paul knew the Old Testament inside and out which is why he quotes the Old Testament so frequently in his writings. This is important because Jesus claimed to fulfill a variety of Old Testament prophecies and you can't really examine this claim if you don't know what the Old Testament says. Muhammad was almost completely ignorant of the Old Testament because his knowledge of the Jewish scriptures was limited to what he heard in conversations. Not surprisingly despite Muhammad's numerous interactions with Jews in Arabia the Quran contains very few quotations from the Old Testament. Due to his ignorance of the scriptures Muhammad couldn't tell the difference between stories that were in the Torah and therefore divine revelation and stories from later Jewish writings and commentaries some of which were so late and so obviously fabricated they weren't far beyond the level of bedtime stories. Imagine how amusing it must be for someone who specializes in Jewish literature, to read the Quran and find so many fables being presented to Muslims as Revelation. Cain being taught how to bury the dead by a raven (al-Ma`idah (The Table, The Table Spread) 5:31), Solomon listening to a speech by an ant (Surah An-Naml - 15-25). But Muhammad just didn't know enough to distinguish scripture from non-scripture. Muhammad's ignorance of the Old Testament is also noteworthy because, like Jesus, he claimed to fulfill Old Testament prophecies. If Muhammad had been more knowledgeable of the Torah, he would have known that he couldn't possibly be a prophet for numerous reasons. For instance:
Problem 3.1 Muslim sources report that Muhammad once delivered what are now called "The Satanic Verses" to his followers. These verses promoted prayers to three pagan goddesses, Al-Lat and Al-'Uzza and Manat (Surah 53:19-20). Muhammad bowed down in honor of these polytheistic verses and his followers bowed down with him. But a little later Gabriel confronted Muhammad about his sin, Muhammad confessed in the history of AT-TABARI 6:111. So Muhammad admitted that he delivered a revelation that didn't really come from God. Why is this important? Well in Deuteronomy 18:20 "God declares but a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods is to be put to death".
Problem 3.2 Muslims claim that they respect Moses, but if Muhammad had delivered "The Satanic Verses" during the time of Moses, Moses would have ordered the people to pick up stones and stone him to death as the most obvious false prophet in history. Muhammad didn't realize this due to his lack of familiarity with the Jewish scriptures.
Problem 4. Paul Was a Contemporary of Jesus Muhammad was not - The apostle Paul was a contemporary of Jesus and he spent much of his time in first century Israel, this put Paul in a perfect position to gain accurate historical information about Jesus. If you want reliable information about a person it's pretty helpful being a member of the person's own generation. And Paul was right there. Muhammad was born more than half a millennium after Jesus death in a completely different country. Since he couldn't read, apart from Divine Revelation his knowledge of Jesus was limited to whatever stories were popular in 7th Century Arabia. This is why when we read the Quran we find so many stories about Jesus that are known to be forgeries. Mary giving birth under a palm tree Surah Maryam - 16-26, Jesus preaching when he was still a baby Surat Maryam [19:29-34], Jesus giving life to clay birds Surah Al-Ma'idah - 110. We know where these stories come from, and they don't come from the first century.
Problem 5. Paul Spoke the Relevant Lanugaes Muhammad Didn't - The Apostle Paul was fluent in Hebrew Aramaic and Greek. All of the languages necessary for understanding the Old Testament, the claims of Jesus and the earliest Christian writings. Muhammad couldn't speak any of the relevant languages so any attempt to understand the Old Testament, the claims of Jesus, or the earliest Christian writings would have required the help of interpreters. I normally wouldn't bring this up as a problem, but since Muslims are obsessed with reading the Quran in the original Arabic, we can only assume that the writings of Moses, the teachings of Jesus and the writings of Jesus followers can only be understood in the original languages. Paul could do that, Muhammad couldn't. Muhammad's ignorance of the original languages leads to further problems: For example the Quran refers to the book revealed through, Jesus as the "Injil", but the Arabic word Injil is ultimately derived from the Greek word "Evangelion" meaning good news. So according to the Quran the book, revealed through Jesus was written in Greek, this makes absolutely no sense if Jesus was only sent to his fellow Jews as Islam claims, but it makes perfect sense if Jesus message was for the rest of the world as well since Greek was the international language of the time. Interestingly the New Testament gospels were written in Greek, exactly what we would expect given the quran's use of the term Injil, but quite unexpected given Muhammad's notion of Jesus life and mission, not to mention Muhammad's conviction that Revelations can't be translated. Quite hypocritical indeed.
2024.05.14 00:19 Medical-Albatross-58 Where's the dog stuff coming from?
So I'm sure a lot of people have seen the clip of Ak on stream listening to the dog noises, does anyone have a link to the full stream? I heard someone say his dog got run over and that's his dog just yelping from the pain but idk, I wanna see the full stream just to see if I can hear the dogs at any other point. With how everyone's been hoppin on the dog theories I just wanna make sure I'm not missing something or jumping to something wild. Idk where all the dog rumors came from til Ak seemed a lil spooked about the clip so idk ya know, genuinely curious.
submitted by Medical-Albatross-58 to DarkKenny [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 00:18 ak773 How to pirate (music + videos)
Hi! I'm not an orbit (I'm carat) but I saw a post today of someone saying that they still listen to LOONA officially :( so I thought I would make a guide in case anyone is new to digital piracy. This guide may seem long, but I swear it's very easy and a lot of it is just me yapping. I've included a lot of different options, so that's why the guide is really long.
To get this out of the way, make sure to stay safe online to avoid viruses! Remember many websites that aid in piracy are trying to get personal information or give your computer viruses.
Downloading mp3/mp4 files: I found a twitter thread online that has downloadable mp3 files of LOONA (I haven't tried it out but it doesn't seem unsafe, just be careful). You can also download files given youtube links on the website yt1s.de (or alternatives, just search of yt1s, yt5s, etc.). Make sure when you use these websites to only download the correct file. These websites will often open up extra tabs that lead to dangerous websites, so you should definitely use adblock. It is probably best to turn off automatic downloads when you use these websites, or you can get a virus from something which was downloaded without your knowledge. On google you can do this by going to settings>downloads>ask where to save each file before downloading [Toggle: on]. It seems complicated, but when you get used to it it's easy! You can use this website for videos too (great for long flights), just click mp4 instead of mp3.
Downloading video subtitles: I use downsub.com, but there are probably many other alternatives. You just paste the video link and download. Make sure the video download name is the same as the subtitle download name (that should be how it saves default though).
Transferring music to your phone (android): Transferring music is much easier on android devices. How I used to do this on android was just uploading files to google drive and saving them on my phone, or connect my phone to my computer using a cable and transfer files. I used VLC Media Player (completely safe) to listen to music and watch videos.
Transferring music to your phone (apple; itunes, apple music): This is a little more complicated. The way I do this is I use the itunes application on my computer and I use that to open the mp3 file. If you would like you can click the 3 dots (or ctrl + i with the song selected) to edit the song name, artist, album, etc. (you can even add in lyrics!) You then connect your phone using a cable which will make a phone icon appear at the top next to where it says music. Click the phone icon>music>sync. This will sync the mp3 files to your device on apple music. You can find them under downloads but they should also be with the rest of your songs. Doing this will automatically back up your phone, but you can turn that off in itunes settings.
Transferring music to your phone (apple; vlc): You also use itunes for this. You need to first download VLC Media Player to your phone, then connect it to your computer using a cable. Then click on the phone icon at the top, then file sharing, then click on VLC and add file. Add your song file and then it will be on your phone.
Transferring videos to your phone (android): You can do the same thing for this as music. Just transfer the mp4 and subtitle files and use VLC Media Player to open it. I don't have an android anymore so I'm not exactly sure how to do this, but there should be a button for adding a subtitle file to the video when it's open.
Transferring videos to your phone (apple): You should use VLC media player for this, you can probably use apple tv as well, but I'm not sure how to add subtitle files that way. You just need to connect your phone, and click the phone icon in itunes, go to file sharing, and add both the video and subtitle file. The video will automatically open using the subtitle file when you open it in vlc on your phone.
I hope this helped! It's sad that people are still listening to LOONA legally when it's so sad what happened to them :( if you have any questions I can probably answer them! Happy piracyš“āā ļøš¦!
Note: If you would like to add album covers to your songs, I find the easiest way to find the high quality version I by searching up "[album name] spotify" and you can download the jpg file.
submitted by ak773 to LOONA [link] [comments]
To get this out of the way, make sure to stay safe online to avoid viruses! Remember many websites that aid in piracy are trying to get personal information or give your computer viruses.
Downloading mp3/mp4 files: I found a twitter thread online that has downloadable mp3 files of LOONA (I haven't tried it out but it doesn't seem unsafe, just be careful). You can also download files given youtube links on the website yt1s.de (or alternatives, just search of yt1s, yt5s, etc.). Make sure when you use these websites to only download the correct file. These websites will often open up extra tabs that lead to dangerous websites, so you should definitely use adblock. It is probably best to turn off automatic downloads when you use these websites, or you can get a virus from something which was downloaded without your knowledge. On google you can do this by going to settings>downloads>ask where to save each file before downloading [Toggle: on]. It seems complicated, but when you get used to it it's easy! You can use this website for videos too (great for long flights), just click mp4 instead of mp3.
Downloading video subtitles: I use downsub.com, but there are probably many other alternatives. You just paste the video link and download. Make sure the video download name is the same as the subtitle download name (that should be how it saves default though).
Transferring music to your phone (android): Transferring music is much easier on android devices. How I used to do this on android was just uploading files to google drive and saving them on my phone, or connect my phone to my computer using a cable and transfer files. I used VLC Media Player (completely safe) to listen to music and watch videos.
Transferring music to your phone (apple; itunes, apple music): This is a little more complicated. The way I do this is I use the itunes application on my computer and I use that to open the mp3 file. If you would like you can click the 3 dots (or ctrl + i with the song selected) to edit the song name, artist, album, etc. (you can even add in lyrics!) You then connect your phone using a cable which will make a phone icon appear at the top next to where it says music. Click the phone icon>music>sync. This will sync the mp3 files to your device on apple music. You can find them under downloads but they should also be with the rest of your songs. Doing this will automatically back up your phone, but you can turn that off in itunes settings.
Transferring music to your phone (apple; vlc): You also use itunes for this. You need to first download VLC Media Player to your phone, then connect it to your computer using a cable. Then click on the phone icon at the top, then file sharing, then click on VLC and add file. Add your song file and then it will be on your phone.
Transferring videos to your phone (android): You can do the same thing for this as music. Just transfer the mp4 and subtitle files and use VLC Media Player to open it. I don't have an android anymore so I'm not exactly sure how to do this, but there should be a button for adding a subtitle file to the video when it's open.
Transferring videos to your phone (apple): You should use VLC media player for this, you can probably use apple tv as well, but I'm not sure how to add subtitle files that way. You just need to connect your phone, and click the phone icon in itunes, go to file sharing, and add both the video and subtitle file. The video will automatically open using the subtitle file when you open it in vlc on your phone.
I hope this helped! It's sad that people are still listening to LOONA legally when it's so sad what happened to them :( if you have any questions I can probably answer them! Happy piracyš“āā ļøš¦!
Note: If you would like to add album covers to your songs, I find the easiest way to find the high quality version I by searching up "[album name] spotify" and you can download the jpg file.
2024.05.14 00:18 Prize_Ad9159 struggling
I have been struggling with this one thing for almost 2 years and I feel like it's just getting worse. Last summer I was on vacation and I suddenly got the thoughts of unaliving my family, of course I started panicking and I would get really bad panic attacks to the point where I'd think I would Get a hear attack and would have to go to my parents. Then it slowly started getting worse??? On summer vacation it would happen 2 times a week expect now I get it every single night. And if that night it was really bad then I'd wake up and feel the same for the rest day. I always get intrusive thoughts to unalive anyone. If im in a class I get the urge to hurt the people in my class, if im with my family I get the urge to hurt them, and If im by myself I get the urge to unlalive myself. It's like any living thing thats near me I have to kill it. One time I was in my room and my family left and There was a hook on my ceiling and I got the intrusive thought to h4ng myself and I ignored it. Then I started getting really bad urges and this weird feeling in my chest and hands that I feel like I'll start strangling myself soon. I used to be anxious about everything but now I feel like I have no feelings. Whenever something bad happens to someone I don't feel empathy at all. Whenever I think of anyone dying I don't feel bad either. It started getting even worse where I get an intrusive thought every night and during the day to unalive someone and then I get this weird feeling in my chest to halfway of my arms. It feels like If I kill someone I'll feel like that everywhere and I will feel relieved. I noticed I also can't control my anger as good as I used to too. Every day I wake up wondering if everyone is alive and whenever I'm in the house with only 1 person the urges are back. I feel like I lost complete empathy for everything. If something bad happens to even a little kid or some family member I feel like I would have no feelings. I have been going to martial arts classes but I couldn't go a couple of times because of my severe dizziness. It feels like I'm holding myself back everyday. I wanted to get a therapist but my parents are really strict and they don't think I need it. My dad would flip out if I asked him. I told my mom a little bit of what I'm having and she snitched to my dad and he freaked out and said "so she wants to k1ll us?!" and I had to lie and say that its not true. I noticed my parents are distancing themself from me more than before. I cannot even get any help because in 4 days I'm going to vacation and Its in Europe where I don't have any insurance. I don't know what to do anymore. I also noticed I get really angry and jealous easily. Ever since I was a kid I hated whenever my parents would even just say one word to a kid. My parents would tease me when I was a little kid that I'm getting a little sistebrother and I would start crying non stop. One time as a kid my mom held my aunt's baby and I was holding back from crying. Now obviously it's gotten better and I don't get that jealous but whenever I see them talking nicely to anyone my age or comparing me to someone I get really mad. And with the anger I noticed I started throwing things, yelling, talking back, and hitting myself???? And on top of that I'm not sure all of this is even OCD because these are the only symptoms I have? I don't over check if the stove is off, etc and Ive never had a problem with those kind of things? Whenever I try to tell my parents maybe I have something serious they say I am a hypochondriac and say "it's all because of that phone"????
submitted by Prize_Ad9159 to Vent [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 00:17 Tough-Economist-1169 Scared I may become agnostic
It's been a really hard time. Last year I became interested in the faith, as a nominal Catholic. I was fascinated with the teachings of Jesus and accepted Him as the whole truth. I became willing to fight to spread the Gospel and became very interested in theology and even thought of the possibility of becoming a priest. However, I'm a person that thinks too much. My mind has no rest, I think about things all the time and questions of faith pop up always. In the beginning those questions seemed to be answered with time, but now I just have too many doubts and I feel like everyday I get further away. I've been going to Church 3 times a week, praying the rosary every day for the past 100 days. Well, I'm still a very lazy procrastinator, but I feel to love God with my heart and be better. But it's becoming hard, very hard. I cry a lot because my family doesn't believe in God and doesn't seem interested in converting and I fear for them. The thought of hell terrifies me day and night. I used to accept the miracles in the Bible with ease but now I'm always skeptical about them. I would say I've felt God's presence in my life and all the blessings he gave me can't be a mere coincidence. However, I come up with the objection that people of other faiths also claim that God blesses them all the time. I believe Catholicism is true, but how is that any different? I refuse to think we're just matter and energy, Catholicism saved me from a totally nihilistic and depressing view of the world. Unfortunately, that view is starting to seem real to me again. I seriously don't want to. My life has become quite uncomfortable. While it is true life wasn't comfortable for the prophets, I'm not as strong as them. I fear all my journey to Christ might just be a natural illusion. And that truly saddens me. I can't wrap my mind around anything at the moment
submitted by Tough-Economist-1169 to AskAPriest [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 00:17 FunnyProfessional281 Toxic ex reached out after over 10 years and Iām still terrified of him
Throwaway account for obvious reasons. Iām at a loss and have been on SA hotlines all day searching for what I should do here so wanted to crowdsource some feedback in case other people know how I feel and have good advice. WARNING: I will be talking about my ex emotionally abusing and SAing me. I wonāt go into specifics per the rules but giving a heads up for anyone who that may trigger rn, please donāt read on.
I started dating this guy when we were in high school (I was 14, he was 19) and got locked into a dynamic I wish I couldāve left sooner. Today, I would identify it as grooming and abusive. He took advantage of my loneliness, my budding sexuality, and my love for him for close to five years. He was manipulative, he used his mental health crises as a way to control me. He would say I was the āonly one who understandsā him and say heād kill himself if our relationship ended. At the time I felt filthy and ashamed, but looking back I realize that I was trying to blame myself for a situation I didnāt want to be in. I finally was able to pull away completely while I was in college and I never looked back.
Over the years, Iāve mostly not thought of him but I get these weird little jump-scares in my brain of memories of things that happened when I was with him. It briefly got worse when I moved in with my current (very supportive, loving, and age-appropriate) partner. But on the whole, my traumatized brain canāt actively remember much of our relationship, and what I do remember, I try my best not to think about.
I am now almost 30. Itās been 10 years since Iāve had any contact with him and out of the blue, he messaged me on Facebook. Itās very brief and non-specific which is part of what freaks me out about it. Basically what he said is āhi itās (HIS NAME). Iām not trying to reconnect or be friends again. I need to talk to you about something. Please get back to me if youāre willing.ā
Iāve been spinning out about what to do about this. In an ideal world, I never speak to, see, or hear from him again. My first instinct is to block and delete, but he is not a well person and had harassed me in the past. After speaking to the RAINN hotline, Iām thinking maybe I should just be tracking and noting what heās saying to me so if I need a protection order, I have receipts.
My second thought is what could he possibly NEED to tell me that he couldnāt open with. I wondered if it could be sexual health-related, but Iāve been tested multiple times in the decade since him so even if āI had chlamydia the whole timeā is what he has to say to me, thatās his problem, not mine.
I now feel terrified that maybe he has some collateral or is trying to blackmail me. Though I donāt remember much of the relationship, I do remember sending him nudes on Snapchat which maybe he saved. Like I said, it was a coercive dynamic and Iām not proud of it. A big part of the reason I didnāt report at the time is I read somewhere that I would be liable for distributing underage porn even though the images were of me and I was the victim in question. Or did he film us having sex without me knowing and post it somewhere, something like that.
He struggled with substance abuse and mental health issues the whole time I knew him. He was even briefly hospitalized for it. So it crossed my mind that maybe heās reaching out during a stable time to āmake amends,ā either through a program or by himself.
What I really want is to give him a piece of my mind. It was never my intention to open a door to him or speak to him again. But now that heās invited himself in, I want to ask him who the hell he thinks he is reaching out to me. I want to forget I ever met him, but I want him to remember what he did to me every day and feel sorry for it. I want him to know that I donāt just think of him as my ex, but as my rapist and that if he ever contacts me again, Iām calling the police (which is what RAINN suggested I do).
But I donāt know what I should do to be healthy and safe while moving forward. My current partner doesnāt know about this, Iāve only mentioned it in the abstract in the past and he never pushed me to say more. I want to tell him but I still feel so much shame about it and still secretly fear that this is all my fault and makes me unlovable.
I have an appointment with my therapist this weekend and best believe this will be the whole hour this week. But Iām looking for any thoughts from others who donāt live in my head on what youād do if you were me. How would you go about disclosing this whole situation to your partner? Would you tell family and friends? If anyone on here has been a victim of revenge porn (especially if you were underage) and is willing to share your experiences, Iād love to hear from you. Words of encouragement would also be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
Tldr: my abusive ex vaguely reached out to me and idk what to do about it.
submitted by FunnyProfessional281 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
I started dating this guy when we were in high school (I was 14, he was 19) and got locked into a dynamic I wish I couldāve left sooner. Today, I would identify it as grooming and abusive. He took advantage of my loneliness, my budding sexuality, and my love for him for close to five years. He was manipulative, he used his mental health crises as a way to control me. He would say I was the āonly one who understandsā him and say heād kill himself if our relationship ended. At the time I felt filthy and ashamed, but looking back I realize that I was trying to blame myself for a situation I didnāt want to be in. I finally was able to pull away completely while I was in college and I never looked back.
Over the years, Iāve mostly not thought of him but I get these weird little jump-scares in my brain of memories of things that happened when I was with him. It briefly got worse when I moved in with my current (very supportive, loving, and age-appropriate) partner. But on the whole, my traumatized brain canāt actively remember much of our relationship, and what I do remember, I try my best not to think about.
I am now almost 30. Itās been 10 years since Iāve had any contact with him and out of the blue, he messaged me on Facebook. Itās very brief and non-specific which is part of what freaks me out about it. Basically what he said is āhi itās (HIS NAME). Iām not trying to reconnect or be friends again. I need to talk to you about something. Please get back to me if youāre willing.ā
Iāve been spinning out about what to do about this. In an ideal world, I never speak to, see, or hear from him again. My first instinct is to block and delete, but he is not a well person and had harassed me in the past. After speaking to the RAINN hotline, Iām thinking maybe I should just be tracking and noting what heās saying to me so if I need a protection order, I have receipts.
My second thought is what could he possibly NEED to tell me that he couldnāt open with. I wondered if it could be sexual health-related, but Iāve been tested multiple times in the decade since him so even if āI had chlamydia the whole timeā is what he has to say to me, thatās his problem, not mine.
I now feel terrified that maybe he has some collateral or is trying to blackmail me. Though I donāt remember much of the relationship, I do remember sending him nudes on Snapchat which maybe he saved. Like I said, it was a coercive dynamic and Iām not proud of it. A big part of the reason I didnāt report at the time is I read somewhere that I would be liable for distributing underage porn even though the images were of me and I was the victim in question. Or did he film us having sex without me knowing and post it somewhere, something like that.
He struggled with substance abuse and mental health issues the whole time I knew him. He was even briefly hospitalized for it. So it crossed my mind that maybe heās reaching out during a stable time to āmake amends,ā either through a program or by himself.
What I really want is to give him a piece of my mind. It was never my intention to open a door to him or speak to him again. But now that heās invited himself in, I want to ask him who the hell he thinks he is reaching out to me. I want to forget I ever met him, but I want him to remember what he did to me every day and feel sorry for it. I want him to know that I donāt just think of him as my ex, but as my rapist and that if he ever contacts me again, Iām calling the police (which is what RAINN suggested I do).
But I donāt know what I should do to be healthy and safe while moving forward. My current partner doesnāt know about this, Iāve only mentioned it in the abstract in the past and he never pushed me to say more. I want to tell him but I still feel so much shame about it and still secretly fear that this is all my fault and makes me unlovable.
I have an appointment with my therapist this weekend and best believe this will be the whole hour this week. But Iām looking for any thoughts from others who donāt live in my head on what youād do if you were me. How would you go about disclosing this whole situation to your partner? Would you tell family and friends? If anyone on here has been a victim of revenge porn (especially if you were underage) and is willing to share your experiences, Iād love to hear from you. Words of encouragement would also be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
Tldr: my abusive ex vaguely reached out to me and idk what to do about it.
2024.05.14 00:16 Weekly-Might983 Life is a nuisance , Iām miserable and sick of everything .
Sick of life, feeling miserable , I give up (22/M)
Hey all some back story info about me im 22 yo male,
So basically, idek life anymore , everything feels fake. And Iām getting tired of it , and I feel miserable every day
Iām healthy, exercise frequently, donāt eat junk, Iām good looking and a good height but still miserable
Iām financially secure have made over 7 figures , and I been working for my self since I was like 15, basically if I didnāt want to work anymore, I could stop working for the next 30 years if I really wanted, and if I was super frugal I could last longer probably
But this is the only thing Iām passionate about, making money online and online businesses, but even that is starting to become boring and miserable for me
outside of this I am nothing, I have no friends, I donāt go outside, I just sit and rot away
I have no family, mom died when I was 11, all her family is in another country so I never see them , i never met my biological dad or his family , my dog died . Iām super bored of life and miserable, not even sad . (Not looking for sympathy, just sharing whatās going on)
I just donāt see anything in life anymore ,
I was a big gamer growing up, that doesnāt even fulfill me, every day is a blur and the days just pass by
Now Iām getting feelings of just moving to another city and completely getting out of here
Also I got adverse effects from a stupid drug and now have chronic pain and stupid fkn shyt
Simple things trigger me , like when I go outside I get suicidal, or just doing any ānormalā task makes me get angry, like I hate doing like shopping, I just hate everything , it all seems so stupid and a nuisance
Iām naturally introverted I think, and also never had a GF or kissed a girl, some would say thatās sad , but to me Iāve always been withdrawn so I donāt really care about that at this point,
Iāve become very miserable, and just lost my personality , my younger self would be disappointed to see me like this , but everything was fun when I was young , now everything is miserable
I often feel like life is fake, Iām tired of This shyt
submitted by Weekly-Might983 to self [link] [comments]
Hey all some back story info about me im 22 yo male,
So basically, idek life anymore , everything feels fake. And Iām getting tired of it , and I feel miserable every day
Iām healthy, exercise frequently, donāt eat junk, Iām good looking and a good height but still miserable
Iām financially secure have made over 7 figures , and I been working for my self since I was like 15, basically if I didnāt want to work anymore, I could stop working for the next 30 years if I really wanted, and if I was super frugal I could last longer probably
But this is the only thing Iām passionate about, making money online and online businesses, but even that is starting to become boring and miserable for me
outside of this I am nothing, I have no friends, I donāt go outside, I just sit and rot away
I have no family, mom died when I was 11, all her family is in another country so I never see them , i never met my biological dad or his family , my dog died . Iām super bored of life and miserable, not even sad . (Not looking for sympathy, just sharing whatās going on)
I just donāt see anything in life anymore ,
I was a big gamer growing up, that doesnāt even fulfill me, every day is a blur and the days just pass by
Now Iām getting feelings of just moving to another city and completely getting out of here
Also I got adverse effects from a stupid drug and now have chronic pain and stupid fkn shyt
Simple things trigger me , like when I go outside I get suicidal, or just doing any ānormalā task makes me get angry, like I hate doing like shopping, I just hate everything , it all seems so stupid and a nuisance
Iām naturally introverted I think, and also never had a GF or kissed a girl, some would say thatās sad , but to me Iāve always been withdrawn so I donāt really care about that at this point,
Iāve become very miserable, and just lost my personality , my younger self would be disappointed to see me like this , but everything was fun when I was young , now everything is miserable
I often feel like life is fake, Iām tired of This shyt
2024.05.14 00:16 New-Wrap-9073 For those who are hopeless, broken and desperate, like I was.
After recently going through a horrible heartbreak that is still taking every ounce of my energy. I decided to put my pain aside and try to help others, because this has been hell for me, and I know how hard I tried searching for free or even cheap relationship help, but couldn't get/find it. So I posted on my personal social media for people to write me and I'd help them and give them personal advice on their specific situation. Much to my surprise, this blew up and what was supposed to be something that helped me connect with others suffering and help ease someone's unbearable pain, turned into somewhat of a "calling" I guess you could say. Focusing on helping other people to avoid and manage that horrific pain has helped start to heal and I've surprisingly done a lot to help a LOT more people than I ever thought I would. I'm not a therapist, licensed or anything at all. I've just seen, done, and been through a hell of a lot. I've talked to about 28 people in the past 3 weeks. And it all started because I helped 1 person on a whim. I'm an intense empath, so I guess I have a "talent" (I guess you'd say?) for really feeling what other people are feeling and why they may be feeling this way. DM me if you'd like some help. :) since my social media one went so well and I'm wanting to try and do this for a side hustle (or maybe main hustle-I've enjoyed it so much!!) I am doing them for $10. (Cashapp, Venmo & PayPal but will not ask for payment until my response is written out and ready to be sent)I will read over your situation, ask questions, really try and understand everything, and then tell you everything I think and feel about your situation. I'll also try and look at it from your partner's point of view, help you figure out their attachment style, love language, and the best course of action for that would suit you and them. I do ask that you give me 24-48hrs though. I actually care and am doing this because I genuinely want to help people. Giving me that time gives me time to read, analyze, etc. But I know how bad it hurts, and you are not alone! I wish someone had done this months ago when I was first hurt and needed help. :/
I've also been through several tragedies, ridden the struggle bus to every miserable destination I can think of. I've been through some things. All kinds of things. So, if something's on your mind and it's not relationship-related, hit me up! Judgement free zone. Nothing off limits. I just wanna help. I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, helplessness, despair, etc.
I started an IG page, and it's finally finished! Search "hopelesstohealing" on IG, if you'd rather talk on there. But I'm here for anyone who needs it. On here, or on IG. ā¤ļøāš©¹
submitted by New-Wrap-9073 to heartbreak [link] [comments]
I've also been through several tragedies, ridden the struggle bus to every miserable destination I can think of. I've been through some things. All kinds of things. So, if something's on your mind and it's not relationship-related, hit me up! Judgement free zone. Nothing off limits. I just wanna help. I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, helplessness, despair, etc.
I started an IG page, and it's finally finished! Search "hopelesstohealing" on IG, if you'd rather talk on there. But I'm here for anyone who needs it. On here, or on IG. ā¤ļøāš©¹
2024.05.14 00:15 OkSociety8609 Why canāt I just do both? Why does the world always tell us we have to make sacrificesā¦
So Iāve always struggled with discipline in certain areas not all. People always say you have to cut things out if you want to focus on that goal. You always see them quotes about sacrificing and declining the fun things now so you donāt have to work hard later and you can enjoy the fruits of you labour but I fear losing time now as youāre only as young today. Time moves, we grow, things change and I fear not living my life enough before I get to certain age. I understand we have to make sacrifices but Iāve always been so conflicted and just want to know why canāt we do both. Why canāt I go on that holiday or 2 and also save or also clear off my small debt which isnāt causing harm at all. I know itās because it takes away from the goal etc, it may take longer. And I know it sounds crazy to want to travel etc. when thereās debt lingering around but itās not debt thatās bad at all and itās being paid off. Itās all under control - yes it could be cleared much quicker with the money spent going on the holidays but I just feel like you have to give yourself something. I donāt earn a bad wage, I get by, Iām good. Could always earn more for sure..but I just want to know if thereās anyone out there who feels the same or is a prime example of doing both whoās not overly wealthy but earns enough to support their living and have some fun.
submitted by OkSociety8609 to getdisciplined [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 00:15 Timely-Difficulty315 Realized after a decade of horrible mental health, low self-worth, and an inability to stand up for myself, that I deserve better than my decades-long friendship. What should I do?
Hello. When I (19M) was in Elementary School, I became integrated into a friend group of about 6 girls (and now a handful of nonbinary people). At the time, I started developing chronically low self-esteem due to a brutal falling out with another group of friends who, as it turned out, never really liked me. Also at that point in time, and for many years afterwards, I was being emotionally abused at home by my narcissist father every day. As a result of all of this baggage, and some other less-important events not worth noting, I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. I have been in therapy weekly ever since I was 14, but haven't started receiving the benefits of therapy till this year due to spending a handful of months away from my abusive home.
It has been over a decade since I have first become acquainted with these friends, and until this year, I had never seriously asked myself if I liked these friends, or if I wanted to be friends of them. I silently developed the belief that I wasn't in control of any aspect of my life, including who my friends where. I also believed that "looking for better" was pointless, in my low-self-esteem I believed that I barely deserved this, much less anything better. So I accepted this situation and these friends dogmatically. I could go on about the psychology behind why I spent years accepting sub-par treatment, but I don't think it's necessary. I was a doormat and was spineless and for years I just accepted being treated like ass by people who were supposed to be my friends, is what you need to know. I'll elaborate more in comments if anyone is curious.
In therapy I learned to think critically about who I was letting enter my life, and for a while I came to the conclusion that they were evil, terrible people. After some more therapy, I've come to recognize that my friends aren't "bad" people. They too, just like me, come from their own complicated backstories of trauma and angst, and I am called to forgive them as I would forgive myself for their transgressions. However they can be quite disagreeable. Chief among these disagreeable friends are two I will call X (18F) and Y (19NB they/them). I will list out their vices here.
X - She's the unofficial "Leader" of the friend group and one of my "best" friends, for a time we considered each other family, and we've been very close. Unfortunately she's the one I'm actually the least optimistic about, for a couple of reasons, listed here. 1. She has a laundry list of vices most of which relate to what is probably an undiagnosed mental health condition and/or just general trauma not necessarily anything which warrants a diagnosis, this includes: A self-admitted lack of empathy, Fits of rage which are often disproportionate and unreasonable, Insecurity, Taking everything super personally This obsession with threatening to fight people over grudges/slights/etc in order to prove her dominance. Though I could look past all of this (especially as I can relate to the pain of being undiagnosed/unregulated), if not for the fact she has admitted to me that she does not plan on going to therapy to deal with any of this maladaptive behavior. 2. She always seems to want to fight me (verbally? but maybe also physically). It seems she tries her hardest to find any possible excuse to make me feel bad about myself, or to make me angry with her in order to start a fight. She's always picking apart what I say and trying to make me feel like an idiot. I've tried (and succeeded) in replicating this behavior back to her, which she always seems to be put-off by. It works in subduing her, but like fuck. She's my friend, I shouldn't be having to find excuses to roast her whenever I can to have a normal conversation with her. 3. A couple years ago, I pointed out point 2 to her, she felt personally attacked and went on several vents as to how she doesn't understand how to cope with high demands by others, etc. 4. Worse than all of that though, is the fact that, while I'm aware there's a possibility that she works through all of these issues, and comes out on the other side as a better person (even though I know almost for sure that she wont), Unfortunately I just really don't like her personality. I have a hard time seeing a point in airing these feelings to her, because all I can possibly gain is a slightly calmer friend with a personality I can't stand, and who i'm embarrassed to be around.
Y (19NB they/them). Unlike me and X, we share a lot more in common, and when they're calm, they can be very nice and refreshing to be around. They have BPD (self-dxd but I believe it), and we sometimes bond over that. Unfortunately they can be very destructive to be around. Mostly they just struggle a LOT with anger, over nothing too. They've raised their voice at me for really insignificant shit. Things like: Asking a question (I asked which character would be ideal to use for a game they were good at), Being gullible (I believed a dumb shitpost I saw online was true), or for being sort annoying (all the damn time). Similarly, they have admitted that they don't want to go to therapy/be better ("yet"). But I don't deserve to be treated like ass because i'm a little annoying.
It's complicated. Because with X, I know that I have unfortunately and unintentionally been leading her on this whole time to think we're better friends than we are, that I like her more than I do, and that I haven't always sort of found her a little despicable. I've unintentionally lied to her basically our whole friendship, and that's going to be really difficult for her, but I also know I have no other option, that our relationship is entirely unsalvageable. Whereas with Y, I would love to remain friends with them, and I haven't particularly been lying to them either, but their mental health complications are so severe it's difficult to not let it affect the friendship.
What I am asking for, is help on where to go from here. I have been ignoring and avoiding them as much as possible. I haven't been responding to DMS (which are already infrequent), I haven't been looking at the group chat, etc. But I'm not sure if ghosting is the appropriate thing to do here. I guess I sort of want advice on what response would be most appropriate in this situation...
Thank you so much!
submitted by Timely-Difficulty315 to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]
It has been over a decade since I have first become acquainted with these friends, and until this year, I had never seriously asked myself if I liked these friends, or if I wanted to be friends of them. I silently developed the belief that I wasn't in control of any aspect of my life, including who my friends where. I also believed that "looking for better" was pointless, in my low-self-esteem I believed that I barely deserved this, much less anything better. So I accepted this situation and these friends dogmatically. I could go on about the psychology behind why I spent years accepting sub-par treatment, but I don't think it's necessary. I was a doormat and was spineless and for years I just accepted being treated like ass by people who were supposed to be my friends, is what you need to know. I'll elaborate more in comments if anyone is curious.
In therapy I learned to think critically about who I was letting enter my life, and for a while I came to the conclusion that they were evil, terrible people. After some more therapy, I've come to recognize that my friends aren't "bad" people. They too, just like me, come from their own complicated backstories of trauma and angst, and I am called to forgive them as I would forgive myself for their transgressions. However they can be quite disagreeable. Chief among these disagreeable friends are two I will call X (18F) and Y (19NB they/them). I will list out their vices here.
X - She's the unofficial "Leader" of the friend group and one of my "best" friends, for a time we considered each other family, and we've been very close. Unfortunately she's the one I'm actually the least optimistic about, for a couple of reasons, listed here. 1. She has a laundry list of vices most of which relate to what is probably an undiagnosed mental health condition and/or just general trauma not necessarily anything which warrants a diagnosis, this includes: A self-admitted lack of empathy, Fits of rage which are often disproportionate and unreasonable, Insecurity, Taking everything super personally This obsession with threatening to fight people over grudges/slights/etc in order to prove her dominance. Though I could look past all of this (especially as I can relate to the pain of being undiagnosed/unregulated), if not for the fact she has admitted to me that she does not plan on going to therapy to deal with any of this maladaptive behavior. 2. She always seems to want to fight me (verbally? but maybe also physically). It seems she tries her hardest to find any possible excuse to make me feel bad about myself, or to make me angry with her in order to start a fight. She's always picking apart what I say and trying to make me feel like an idiot. I've tried (and succeeded) in replicating this behavior back to her, which she always seems to be put-off by. It works in subduing her, but like fuck. She's my friend, I shouldn't be having to find excuses to roast her whenever I can to have a normal conversation with her. 3. A couple years ago, I pointed out point 2 to her, she felt personally attacked and went on several vents as to how she doesn't understand how to cope with high demands by others, etc. 4. Worse than all of that though, is the fact that, while I'm aware there's a possibility that she works through all of these issues, and comes out on the other side as a better person (even though I know almost for sure that she wont), Unfortunately I just really don't like her personality. I have a hard time seeing a point in airing these feelings to her, because all I can possibly gain is a slightly calmer friend with a personality I can't stand, and who i'm embarrassed to be around.
Y (19NB they/them). Unlike me and X, we share a lot more in common, and when they're calm, they can be very nice and refreshing to be around. They have BPD (self-dxd but I believe it), and we sometimes bond over that. Unfortunately they can be very destructive to be around. Mostly they just struggle a LOT with anger, over nothing too. They've raised their voice at me for really insignificant shit. Things like: Asking a question (I asked which character would be ideal to use for a game they were good at), Being gullible (I believed a dumb shitpost I saw online was true), or for being sort annoying (all the damn time). Similarly, they have admitted that they don't want to go to therapy/be better ("yet"). But I don't deserve to be treated like ass because i'm a little annoying.
It's complicated. Because with X, I know that I have unfortunately and unintentionally been leading her on this whole time to think we're better friends than we are, that I like her more than I do, and that I haven't always sort of found her a little despicable. I've unintentionally lied to her basically our whole friendship, and that's going to be really difficult for her, but I also know I have no other option, that our relationship is entirely unsalvageable. Whereas with Y, I would love to remain friends with them, and I haven't particularly been lying to them either, but their mental health complications are so severe it's difficult to not let it affect the friendship.
What I am asking for, is help on where to go from here. I have been ignoring and avoiding them as much as possible. I haven't been responding to DMS (which are already infrequent), I haven't been looking at the group chat, etc. But I'm not sure if ghosting is the appropriate thing to do here. I guess I sort of want advice on what response would be most appropriate in this situation...
Thank you so much!
2024.05.14 00:15 A-Voter 31 [M4F] We've been looking for so long - let's find each other!
Hello! I'm 31 from Central Europe, looking for something genuine.
I suppose I'll just start by introducing myself! Physically, I am 1,72m and have dark blonde hair. I'm very in tune with myself and my emotions, and as a result feel very secure in my masculinity which I feel allows me to be vulnerable at times. I am a romantic and affectionate person, but also very direct - if I say something positive, I mean it. I am neurodivergent and can't play pretend well.
I have gone through a journey of bettering myself and figuring out exactly how I'd like to be, and I'm very happy with the result. That's not to say I'm perfect of course, no-one is, but hey, we're all just doing our best!
Hobby-wise, I love listening to music where I don't really have one particular genre (although a tendency for electronic genres), I enjoy playing games occasionally and I like to binge-watch whatever interests me, be it a show, movies or youtube channels. I am usually a relatively quiet person, but I can talk your ear off extensively about things I'm passionate about. I love geography, languages, cultures, history, all the things that shape our perception of the world around us basically.
Fun facts:
As mentioned above I am not neurotypical, and I have depression. I'm very good at masking both, so chances are you won't notice too too much, but I think being open right away is important.
If you'd like to get to know each other, please don't hesitate to send me a message - the reddit chat doesn't seem to always work so a direct message works too!
submitted by A-Voter to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
I suppose I'll just start by introducing myself! Physically, I am 1,72m and have dark blonde hair. I'm very in tune with myself and my emotions, and as a result feel very secure in my masculinity which I feel allows me to be vulnerable at times. I am a romantic and affectionate person, but also very direct - if I say something positive, I mean it. I am neurodivergent and can't play pretend well.
I have gone through a journey of bettering myself and figuring out exactly how I'd like to be, and I'm very happy with the result. That's not to say I'm perfect of course, no-one is, but hey, we're all just doing our best!
Hobby-wise, I love listening to music where I don't really have one particular genre (although a tendency for electronic genres), I enjoy playing games occasionally and I like to binge-watch whatever interests me, be it a show, movies or youtube channels. I am usually a relatively quiet person, but I can talk your ear off extensively about things I'm passionate about. I love geography, languages, cultures, history, all the things that shape our perception of the world around us basically.
Fun facts:
- I can tell you the capital city of more or less every country on the planet!
- I can identify a country by its flag, capital city(duh!) or its borders
- I used to be excellent at geoguessr
- I'm a Very quick typer
- I love accents!
As mentioned above I am not neurotypical, and I have depression. I'm very good at masking both, so chances are you won't notice too too much, but I think being open right away is important.
If you'd like to get to know each other, please don't hesitate to send me a message - the reddit chat doesn't seem to always work so a direct message works too!
2024.05.14 00:15 FabulousThrowaway5 Raloxifene for gyno?
It's hard to tell because of my higher body fat percentage but I think it's safe to say I have pretty heavy gyno (no pun intended), I go to the gym daily now and have lost a good amount of weight but no sign of gyno decreasing, not like I expected it to, I've had it for years.
Will raloxifene work? I heard people say that their gyno either decreased significantly or straight up disappeared, however I sometimes see people saying ''No longer than X amount of days!'' and sometimes I see ''you can take it for as long as you want''
Whenever I try to look something up about raloxifene I see a lot of differing answers which is to be expected since not everyone is the same, but what can I expect? How long should a cycle last (maybe just infinitely?), and I've heard of people using ralox and it decreasing their gyno permanently
What are your takes, experiences and advices? Thank you in advance
submitted by FabulousThrowaway5 to gynecomastia [link] [comments]
Will raloxifene work? I heard people say that their gyno either decreased significantly or straight up disappeared, however I sometimes see people saying ''No longer than X amount of days!'' and sometimes I see ''you can take it for as long as you want''
Whenever I try to look something up about raloxifene I see a lot of differing answers which is to be expected since not everyone is the same, but what can I expect? How long should a cycle last (maybe just infinitely?), and I've heard of people using ralox and it decreasing their gyno permanently
What are your takes, experiences and advices? Thank you in advance
2024.05.14 00:15 OnlyHere4TheMemesTbh am i asexual lmao
22F. iāve been wondering if i would be considered asexual or not (however aware that itās a spectrum & many diff experiences but wanted to seek advice or see if anyone else feels similar). havenāt been on a real date in ~2yrs. only been out with male-presenting ppl but pretty sure iām pan, bi or androsexual. ANYWAY. i have anxiety and go on/off to therapy and pretty insecure about my looks compared to conventional beauty standards which doesnāt help this. iām a virgin by choice, every time intercourse has been brought to the table i deny because of not feeling comfortable enough. i think virginity is a construct, as i donāt really ever divulge that information because i think it shouldnāt matter. i know what i like and have experimented by myself + sometimes fantasize about ppl, real or fictional. but i feel uncomfortable with the general idea of sex, and i try to be sex positive, but i canāt help but feel kind of disgusted by people who regularly have sex. iām in medical school and stds also scare meš„“ and i just donāt get how people can just go out and have sex with random people without a care in the world. i donāt want to be a slut shamer because i try to be very progressive and donāt have an issue with sex work or anything but it just kinda disgusts mešš i donāt know if i just havenāt met the right person or if iām asexual or if both is possible (ofc i canāt see the future). help lol
submitted by OnlyHere4TheMemesTbh to Asexual [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 00:14 slugurrrl4 How do I save my friendship with my best friend?
I'm going to try to add detail but not a shit ton bc I'm paranoid LOL
But about a month ago, my best friend of abt a year and a half cheated on his gf with me (and swore me not to tell her, so she doesn't know) and it really just fucked up our friendship. I started to realize my feelings for him, but he ended up doubling down on his relationship with the girlfriend and swears he loves her and wants to make it work, so no we're not going to date (I did tell him how I was starting to like him and he apologized profusely and said we needed boundaries). Right now we're taking space so I can cope with it all and move on from my feelings, but all I can think about is him. It feels like I broke up with someone but I didn't do shit (I didn't even initiate the cheating incident, he did) and it also feels like I'm not good enough. I also realized that our friendship lacked a lot of the important boundaries needed to respect his relationship (we spent a lot of alone time together late into the night, did things like play with each others hair and cuddle, overall he treated me very differently than my other guy friends would ESPECIALLY considering the fact that he had a gf). Why he didn't set those boundaries in the first place, who knows. I know our friendship will never be the same after this, but I still care about him and want to be friends. I know he cherishes our friendship very much and theres no desire from him to cut me off, but I'm worried that as long as I stay friends with him, I'll continue to have these feelings for him. Reddit, what would you do if you were me? I think I'm just confused, and none of my friends who I confided in this about know what to really say other than for me to focus on myself but it's like... everyday I think about this. My life hasn't stopped per se but it just consumes my brain power. And also I don't think I'm ready to actually date, I know dating was a frequent recommendation I got but I don't know about all of that.
General info: we are nearing our mid 20's and him and his gf are celebrating 4 years later this year.
submitted by slugurrrl4 to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]
But about a month ago, my best friend of abt a year and a half cheated on his gf with me (and swore me not to tell her, so she doesn't know) and it really just fucked up our friendship. I started to realize my feelings for him, but he ended up doubling down on his relationship with the girlfriend and swears he loves her and wants to make it work, so no we're not going to date (I did tell him how I was starting to like him and he apologized profusely and said we needed boundaries). Right now we're taking space so I can cope with it all and move on from my feelings, but all I can think about is him. It feels like I broke up with someone but I didn't do shit (I didn't even initiate the cheating incident, he did) and it also feels like I'm not good enough. I also realized that our friendship lacked a lot of the important boundaries needed to respect his relationship (we spent a lot of alone time together late into the night, did things like play with each others hair and cuddle, overall he treated me very differently than my other guy friends would ESPECIALLY considering the fact that he had a gf). Why he didn't set those boundaries in the first place, who knows. I know our friendship will never be the same after this, but I still care about him and want to be friends. I know he cherishes our friendship very much and theres no desire from him to cut me off, but I'm worried that as long as I stay friends with him, I'll continue to have these feelings for him. Reddit, what would you do if you were me? I think I'm just confused, and none of my friends who I confided in this about know what to really say other than for me to focus on myself but it's like... everyday I think about this. My life hasn't stopped per se but it just consumes my brain power. And also I don't think I'm ready to actually date, I know dating was a frequent recommendation I got but I don't know about all of that.
General info: we are nearing our mid 20's and him and his gf are celebrating 4 years later this year.
2024.05.14 00:14 New-Wrap-9073 Read this if you're broken, lost and don't know what to do anymore. ā¤ļø
After recently going through a horrible heartbreak that is still taking every ounce of my energy. I decided to put my pain aside and try to help others, because this has been hell for me, and I know how hard I tried searching for free or even cheap relationship help, but couldn't get/find it. So I posted on my personal social media for people to write me and I'd help them and give them personal advice on their specific situation. Much to my surprise, this blew up and what was supposed to be something that helped me connect with others suffering and help ease someone's unbearable pain, turned into somewhat of a "calling" I guess you could say. Focusing on helping other people to avoid and manage that horrific pain has helped start to heal and I've surprisingly done a lot to help a LOT more people than I ever thought I would. I'm not a therapist, licensed or anything at all. I've just seen, done, and been through a hell of a lot. I've talked to about 28 people in the past 3 weeks. And it all started because I helped 1 person on a whim. I'm an intense empath, so I guess I have a "talent" (I guess you'd say?) for really feeling what other people are feeling and why they may be feeling this way. DM me if you'd like some help. :) since my social media one went so well and I'm wanting to try and do this for a side hustle (or maybe main hustle-I've enjoyed it so much!!) I am doing them for $10. (Cashapp, Venmo & PayPal but will not ask for payment until my response is written out and ready to be sent)I will read over your situation, ask questions, really try and understand everything, and then tell you everything I think and feel about your situation. I'll also try and look at it from your partner's point of view, help you figure out their attachment style, love language, and the best course of action for that would suit you and them. I do ask that you give me 24-48hrs though. I actually care and am doing this because I genuinely want to help people. Giving me that time gives me time to read, analyze, etc. But I know how bad it hurts, and you are not alone! I wish someone had done this months ago when I was first hurt and needed help. :/
I've also been through several tragedies, ridden the struggle bus to every miserable destination I can think of. I've been through some things. All kinds of things. So, if something's on your mind and it's not relationship-related, hit me up! Judgement free zone. Nothing off limits. I just wanna help. I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, helplessness, despair, etc.
I started an IG page, and it's finally finished! Search "hopelesstohealing" on IG, if you'd rather talk on there. But I'm here for anyone who needs it. On here, or on IG. ā¤ļøāš©¹
submitted by New-Wrap-9073 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
I've also been through several tragedies, ridden the struggle bus to every miserable destination I can think of. I've been through some things. All kinds of things. So, if something's on your mind and it's not relationship-related, hit me up! Judgement free zone. Nothing off limits. I just wanna help. I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, helplessness, despair, etc.
I started an IG page, and it's finally finished! Search "hopelesstohealing" on IG, if you'd rather talk on there. But I'm here for anyone who needs it. On here, or on IG. ā¤ļøāš©¹
2024.05.14 00:14 Gamerguyrandom200 My thoughts .
So first of I'm just gotten into later season where by now 2 main characters are gone . (Won't say which but if you know then you know)
I say that although I love this show and how it progresses monk and his story and how he slowly finds new evidence and continues some running jokes with few characters. I have only few things to say about it that are nitpicks
Like I see how some people may think some villains have weak ability to be so cunning or how some things of evidence or looking for some wouldnt actually work but to be honest I say I don't mind it in a show.
The show has a formula at a point as in end for most monk will have his "here's how it happen" moment. Which I think makes some of middle parts of seasons weaker for a while . As well as having some super wild clues that feel like are stretching on detail .
But besides that this show is better than most new or still running ones. A few that I know on top head are "death in paradise" or the zombie one where girl eats brains and changes personality . Which I will say least the zombie one dose it different but has flaws in ways that not worth saying here .
But monk as a character has got me cringing and laughing with a chuckle and a tear and a smile.. as well as make a flawed scared character feel very limited yet unlimited. Which is why I say the show is 10/10 even with flaws. I would made it 8/10 but we all know 10 is nice round number for the show.
submitted by Gamerguyrandom200 to Monk [link] [comments]
I say that although I love this show and how it progresses monk and his story and how he slowly finds new evidence and continues some running jokes with few characters. I have only few things to say about it that are nitpicks
Like I see how some people may think some villains have weak ability to be so cunning or how some things of evidence or looking for some wouldnt actually work but to be honest I say I don't mind it in a show.
The show has a formula at a point as in end for most monk will have his "here's how it happen" moment. Which I think makes some of middle parts of seasons weaker for a while . As well as having some super wild clues that feel like are stretching on detail .
But besides that this show is better than most new or still running ones. A few that I know on top head are "death in paradise" or the zombie one where girl eats brains and changes personality . Which I will say least the zombie one dose it different but has flaws in ways that not worth saying here .
But monk as a character has got me cringing and laughing with a chuckle and a tear and a smile.. as well as make a flawed scared character feel very limited yet unlimited. Which is why I say the show is 10/10 even with flaws. I would made it 8/10 but we all know 10 is nice round number for the show.
2024.05.14 00:14 LaGrandePolla Cybersecurity Career Advice for someone with no CS degree
Hi, I do not have a degree in Computer Science. I graduate in about a year with a degree in Business Information Systems, but I have always had a passion for technology. Last year, I decided that I went to pursue a career in Cybersecurity, so I started studying using online resources. I recently completed my Google Cybersecurity Certificate and started doing labs on CyberDefenders and Blue Team Labs. However, I still feel like I am still lacking something. I know I am not job ready, yet, so I'm trying to work on myself. I thought about it and I think I'm lacking more knowledge in the theoretical/baseline part and by that I mean the non-practical theoretical knowledge. I don't want to say that I'm lacking the fundamentals but I would say that I know the fundamentals, but I believe that if someone were to ask me about something related to security fundamentals I would know what it is, but I wouldn't be able to dive deep into it. (I hope you're getting what I'm trying to say)
To sum it up, I have 2 questions:
1- I would like to improve my baseline knowledge so I can have a more solid background in security. I did a few CompTIA practice exams, and I liked them a lot because they seemed to help, so I'm thinking of getting CompTIA Security+ or another relevant cert. (I'm open to other recommendations)
2- I just started doing labs a week ago, but with almost all labs I've done and still doing I find that I have to ask other people for hints or directions on how to solve a question. I also find myself using the provided writeups to get to several answers or to get a push in the right direction. My question is- is this normal when you're just starting out with labs or am I doing something wrong?
submitted by LaGrandePolla to cybersecurity_help [link] [comments]
To sum it up, I have 2 questions:
1- I would like to improve my baseline knowledge so I can have a more solid background in security. I did a few CompTIA practice exams, and I liked them a lot because they seemed to help, so I'm thinking of getting CompTIA Security+ or another relevant cert. (I'm open to other recommendations)
2- I just started doing labs a week ago, but with almost all labs I've done and still doing I find that I have to ask other people for hints or directions on how to solve a question. I also find myself using the provided writeups to get to several answers or to get a push in the right direction. My question is- is this normal when you're just starting out with labs or am I doing something wrong?
2024.05.14 00:14 dinafoxsuperfan dance teacher rant.
TLDR: as a result of continued disrespect from my boss and just general exhaustion, iām at a loss and feel like i canāt choreograph to save my life. in 8 years of teaching iāve never felt like this:( ANY advice is appreciated.
iām just going to say it. iām sick and tired of working for my boss. i took a low hourly wage to help her out while she opened the business. but itās been two years and this just isnāt worth my time anymore.
the kidsā recital is next month and iāve been getting so angry and resentful about this over the past season, to the point that i hate going there. iām sick of it. itās not worth my time.
iām not done with my choreography because i have no inspiration anymore. iām just so tired of this. i poured passion and effort into last season, and even barely paying me, she found criticisms in what i did. she lectured and shamed me because i refused to send two 3 year olds, yes you heard that right, two 3 year olds, on stage by themselves.
for that she compared me to my coworker and basically told me iām the problem. i tried to explain that these kids are newly 3, basically babies, and thereās only two of them ā so practicing once per week, they canāt put their heads together and comfortably remember a dance in front of a crowd of people. itās preposterous.
that same season, she had me working over 5 hours without a breakā¦ she would go into my time clock and cut out 5 minute gaps between classes, which accumulated to a 30, so i guess legally she got away with it. i would be exhausted. of course for those 5 minute gaps, the kids would linger, talk about their day, iām not going to be a bad role model and tell them to leave me alone or something LMAO, so basically no breaks, i had to be āonā so to speak, for 5.5 hours. those 5 minute gaps were the only time iād be seated so if you mix in the cardio, mental strain of teaching technique, setting choreography, correcting, etc, all to a wide variety of agesā¦ skill level and age increasing as the hours went on, ending out with the last class as an ultra advanced contemporary class, i mean you do the math.
so i told her i canāt work that long without a break anymore, two months before that seasonās end. i explained to her that by the end of the day, i had nothing left for the last group of kids. it wasnāt working. she continuously tried to push back and keep me on the schedule for that whole chunk of time.
for those two months, i kept approaching her about it again and again and she kept giving me excuses, the kids are going to miss me, sheāll have to find my replacement, this that or the other. ultimately just said somethingās going to have to give, iām not budging, i canāt work this whole chunk of time anymore. so someone will have to take the first two classes. she then tried to offer to schedule me a break and i was so fed up with everything by that point, i just said no.
then winter break came along and i texted her in the beginning of it that iād be happy to meet and discuss the upcoming season. no response. the day before classes resume comes around, and i text her about 26 hours before my first class would be, saying just confirming that someone else will be teaching those first two classes tomorrow, and i will see you at (third classā start time).
no response.
she waits until the day of, a couple hours before the first class, to text me hey by any chance can you just cover those classes until i find a replacement?
the answer was a resounding no. iāve never stuck up for myself to someone i know personally and professionally, and it was really tricky to navigate, so i was proud of myself for standing firm.
but, and this is my own fault, i have definitely been holding onto resentment over this ordeal. i shouldāve tried to talk to her about it or something, but after this experience, and with the voice in my head reminding me iām getting an extremely low wage especially considering my experience, i have just been getting more and more JADED. iām so sick of going there, i only go twice per week and it just ruins my day every time. i feel terrible because the kids really love me and i love them too, but i canāt take this anymore, and their dances arenāt done.
thankfully i told her a couple months ago that iām moving away to be with my boyfriend, which is true, but it will probably end up being later than i expected. either way, iām free after this recital.
i donāt know what to do now. i need to finish these dances, but for the first time in 8 years, every time i try to choreograph, nothing comes out. iām just at a loss. i have no drive to do any of this because the whole thing just pisses me off. she just acts clueless like she has no idea how badly she screwed me ofer and disrespected me last season, with the icing on the cake being the random insults about my toddler class. mind you, that was the night before their winter show, and i was the only one of her staff staying late to help her load up equipment.
what started out as helping a friend has turned into this big exhausting nightmare and iām worried that even once iām free of this, i wonāt love teaching dance as much as i used to.
this was a huge rant. i guess my question is what do i do now, how do i pump out choreography with no inspiration. itās always come pretty naturally even when i hit a block, i can keep working and get through it. this is not that. i think iām just done.
submitted by dinafoxsuperfan to BALLET [link] [comments]
iām just going to say it. iām sick and tired of working for my boss. i took a low hourly wage to help her out while she opened the business. but itās been two years and this just isnāt worth my time anymore.
the kidsā recital is next month and iāve been getting so angry and resentful about this over the past season, to the point that i hate going there. iām sick of it. itās not worth my time.
iām not done with my choreography because i have no inspiration anymore. iām just so tired of this. i poured passion and effort into last season, and even barely paying me, she found criticisms in what i did. she lectured and shamed me because i refused to send two 3 year olds, yes you heard that right, two 3 year olds, on stage by themselves.
for that she compared me to my coworker and basically told me iām the problem. i tried to explain that these kids are newly 3, basically babies, and thereās only two of them ā so practicing once per week, they canāt put their heads together and comfortably remember a dance in front of a crowd of people. itās preposterous.
that same season, she had me working over 5 hours without a breakā¦ she would go into my time clock and cut out 5 minute gaps between classes, which accumulated to a 30, so i guess legally she got away with it. i would be exhausted. of course for those 5 minute gaps, the kids would linger, talk about their day, iām not going to be a bad role model and tell them to leave me alone or something LMAO, so basically no breaks, i had to be āonā so to speak, for 5.5 hours. those 5 minute gaps were the only time iād be seated so if you mix in the cardio, mental strain of teaching technique, setting choreography, correcting, etc, all to a wide variety of agesā¦ skill level and age increasing as the hours went on, ending out with the last class as an ultra advanced contemporary class, i mean you do the math.
so i told her i canāt work that long without a break anymore, two months before that seasonās end. i explained to her that by the end of the day, i had nothing left for the last group of kids. it wasnāt working. she continuously tried to push back and keep me on the schedule for that whole chunk of time.
for those two months, i kept approaching her about it again and again and she kept giving me excuses, the kids are going to miss me, sheāll have to find my replacement, this that or the other. ultimately just said somethingās going to have to give, iām not budging, i canāt work this whole chunk of time anymore. so someone will have to take the first two classes. she then tried to offer to schedule me a break and i was so fed up with everything by that point, i just said no.
then winter break came along and i texted her in the beginning of it that iād be happy to meet and discuss the upcoming season. no response. the day before classes resume comes around, and i text her about 26 hours before my first class would be, saying just confirming that someone else will be teaching those first two classes tomorrow, and i will see you at (third classā start time).
no response.
she waits until the day of, a couple hours before the first class, to text me hey by any chance can you just cover those classes until i find a replacement?
the answer was a resounding no. iāve never stuck up for myself to someone i know personally and professionally, and it was really tricky to navigate, so i was proud of myself for standing firm.
but, and this is my own fault, i have definitely been holding onto resentment over this ordeal. i shouldāve tried to talk to her about it or something, but after this experience, and with the voice in my head reminding me iām getting an extremely low wage especially considering my experience, i have just been getting more and more JADED. iām so sick of going there, i only go twice per week and it just ruins my day every time. i feel terrible because the kids really love me and i love them too, but i canāt take this anymore, and their dances arenāt done.
thankfully i told her a couple months ago that iām moving away to be with my boyfriend, which is true, but it will probably end up being later than i expected. either way, iām free after this recital.
i donāt know what to do now. i need to finish these dances, but for the first time in 8 years, every time i try to choreograph, nothing comes out. iām just at a loss. i have no drive to do any of this because the whole thing just pisses me off. she just acts clueless like she has no idea how badly she screwed me ofer and disrespected me last season, with the icing on the cake being the random insults about my toddler class. mind you, that was the night before their winter show, and i was the only one of her staff staying late to help her load up equipment.
what started out as helping a friend has turned into this big exhausting nightmare and iām worried that even once iām free of this, i wonāt love teaching dance as much as i used to.
this was a huge rant. i guess my question is what do i do now, how do i pump out choreography with no inspiration. itās always come pretty naturally even when i hit a block, i can keep working and get through it. this is not that. i think iām just done.
2024.05.14 00:14 Ok-Ebb2872 What branch of service/MOS was Hutch Mansell in the 2021 Movie "Nobody"? And what significance does his tattoo have in the military?
So I just saw the movie Nobody and I was left with a few questions. DISCLAIMER: I DID serve in the military, but as a POG so I have no knowledge of how special forces/spec ops works in terms of if former spec ops operators' military records are deleted or can be looked up for employer verification, especially since the only thing the Wiki says is that Hutch was an audito assassin for the CIA, with no other details.
First question is if it's true that if someone (like Hutch Mansell) were to serve in Special Forces/Spec Ops in the military, that any and all records of them ever serving in the military are deleted/erased from the database. In the movie, when his father-in-law calls in an old friend to look up Hutch's military service, he was denied access by the Federal govt and angry Federal agents were sent to his cubicle to warn him to not look up Hutch's military records, followed by federal agents beating up Hutch's father-in-law for calling to attempt to get information about Hutch's military records. Link below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wi0ThZRirs
So how are employers supposed to verify an applicant's claims of serving in military special forces, such as SEALS, Delta Force, Green Berets, etc. to make sure that the applicant's story is legit? Especially those former SEALS who sell cheesy infomercial products on TV and on YouTube?
Second question: does Hutch's tattoo (seven of clubs and two of diamonds) have any special significance in the military? I know that it is the two worst card you could be dealt with in Texas Holdem, but what significance, if any, does it have in the military? Especially since people look terrified and run the other away when they see his seven of clubs/ two of diamonds tattoo as he parades it like a badge of honor.
So is the whole "served in spec ops but can't access spec ops records without approval from the federal govt" or "my spec ops service record got deleted by the govt" true or hollywood fiction?
Frustrating how no specific details on what branch of service Hutch served in.
submitted by Ok-Ebb2872 to Military [link] [comments]
First question is if it's true that if someone (like Hutch Mansell) were to serve in Special Forces/Spec Ops in the military, that any and all records of them ever serving in the military are deleted/erased from the database. In the movie, when his father-in-law calls in an old friend to look up Hutch's military service, he was denied access by the Federal govt and angry Federal agents were sent to his cubicle to warn him to not look up Hutch's military records, followed by federal agents beating up Hutch's father-in-law for calling to attempt to get information about Hutch's military records. Link below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wi0ThZRirs
So how are employers supposed to verify an applicant's claims of serving in military special forces, such as SEALS, Delta Force, Green Berets, etc. to make sure that the applicant's story is legit? Especially those former SEALS who sell cheesy infomercial products on TV and on YouTube?
Second question: does Hutch's tattoo (seven of clubs and two of diamonds) have any special significance in the military? I know that it is the two worst card you could be dealt with in Texas Holdem, but what significance, if any, does it have in the military? Especially since people look terrified and run the other away when they see his seven of clubs/ two of diamonds tattoo as he parades it like a badge of honor.
So is the whole "served in spec ops but can't access spec ops records without approval from the federal govt" or "my spec ops service record got deleted by the govt" true or hollywood fiction?
Frustrating how no specific details on what branch of service Hutch served in.
2024.05.14 00:14 Crewstoriesguy Fuck Fraturdays Via Tony Willard
I am so angry about Rico Priem dying in a car accident after working a Fraturday. Why do we still let this shit happen? I know why. Because we are professionals that care about our work. Rico was one of the best.
There is a very different reason why though.
Perhaps, if our rates had at the very least kept up with inflation over the past 20 years, people would not feel the need to work every fucking minute they can. God forbid we actually get an increase in pay above that of inflation. Who knows what would happen if we earned more than 3% per year? Maybe more people would turn down the Fraturday that is clearly outside the zone. Good thing we cut a deal to let Pomona be a location island to save production what, .65 cents a mile? That is worth the lives of good people right? Maybe if Night Premium was still around, so too would be Rico. So happy to trade the lives of our fellow workers so that Production can continue to avoid actually planning to avoid the extra money that would be involved in paying people to risk their lives driving home. Why in the FUCK, do we allow an 8th day reset? Are you suddenly less tired after seven straight days working? Do the carts magically unload themselves? The only way to change anything, is to put the responsibility on production, and as we all know, the only kind of responsibility they understand is money! All penalties should FUCKING HURT! That puts the responsibility ON THEM!!! They have to power to eliminate working nights, by planning better. They have the power to eliminate 7 day weeks, by planning better. They have the ability to eliminate meal penalties, by planning better. However, as long as penalties are so minuscule that it is cheaper to pay them, than to pay for an extra day at a location, pay for an extra day with an actor, pay extra to shoot at night, pay extra to do dangerous work, production will continue to drive us into the ground. It really is that fucking simple. If we were getting pay increases, that maybe went beyond the rate of inflation, you know, like an actual RAISE, maybe we wouldnāt all feel like we absolutely MUST work at every given opportunity! FUCK! One more thing and I know it would take some creative work, but I am certain it could be accomplished. EVERY production should provide life insurance for every member of their crew! P.A.ās, Day players, all of us! It should be enough to take care of our loved ones for at least a couple of years if we are killed as a result of long days, or accidents during work. Again, if production wants a better rate on the insurance, show the insurance company that they have the ability to plan work out in a way that creates a safe working environment. This again would be within the power of production. If not, and an accident does happen, at least your loved ones are going to be OK for at least long enough to go through the mourning process and to re-establish their lives. It is not at all unheard of in the corporate world for life insurance paid by the company to be part of the benefits package. Now, here are a couple of things that WE can do to look out for ourselves. Take the room! Take the ride! Create within your own local, or even within your own circle, a job exchange. If you live in Thousand Oaks, and you have a call in San Pedro, trade your call with someone qualified who lives in Long Beach, but has a call in Piru. Yeah, I know it is not perfect, and that there are issues with the idea, but nothing gets fixed if no one tries. We, as IATSE, particularly our leadership, should work with production to front load night work to Monday night. Monday a night shift, Tuesday a split, Wednesday an earlier split, but Friday, you are coming in at a normal hour and getting off at a normal hour. This way, you get extra time to sleep in on Monday morning to prepare for the night work on Monday and you get home on Friday in time to have a full weekend and enjoy your family and friends. Carpool! If you have people who are interested in working 4 days a week, let them. Rotate one day a week off for everyone on the crew and have a full time day player to fill the holes. We work in a very creative environment, it is our jobs to solve problems. Letās solve our own problems. Rico, you were one of the best, I am sorry we let you down.
submitted by Crewstoriesguy to CrewStories [link] [comments]
There is a very different reason why though.
Perhaps, if our rates had at the very least kept up with inflation over the past 20 years, people would not feel the need to work every fucking minute they can. God forbid we actually get an increase in pay above that of inflation. Who knows what would happen if we earned more than 3% per year? Maybe more people would turn down the Fraturday that is clearly outside the zone. Good thing we cut a deal to let Pomona be a location island to save production what, .65 cents a mile? That is worth the lives of good people right? Maybe if Night Premium was still around, so too would be Rico. So happy to trade the lives of our fellow workers so that Production can continue to avoid actually planning to avoid the extra money that would be involved in paying people to risk their lives driving home. Why in the FUCK, do we allow an 8th day reset? Are you suddenly less tired after seven straight days working? Do the carts magically unload themselves? The only way to change anything, is to put the responsibility on production, and as we all know, the only kind of responsibility they understand is money! All penalties should FUCKING HURT! That puts the responsibility ON THEM!!! They have to power to eliminate working nights, by planning better. They have the power to eliminate 7 day weeks, by planning better. They have the ability to eliminate meal penalties, by planning better. However, as long as penalties are so minuscule that it is cheaper to pay them, than to pay for an extra day at a location, pay for an extra day with an actor, pay extra to shoot at night, pay extra to do dangerous work, production will continue to drive us into the ground. It really is that fucking simple. If we were getting pay increases, that maybe went beyond the rate of inflation, you know, like an actual RAISE, maybe we wouldnāt all feel like we absolutely MUST work at every given opportunity! FUCK! One more thing and I know it would take some creative work, but I am certain it could be accomplished. EVERY production should provide life insurance for every member of their crew! P.A.ās, Day players, all of us! It should be enough to take care of our loved ones for at least a couple of years if we are killed as a result of long days, or accidents during work. Again, if production wants a better rate on the insurance, show the insurance company that they have the ability to plan work out in a way that creates a safe working environment. This again would be within the power of production. If not, and an accident does happen, at least your loved ones are going to be OK for at least long enough to go through the mourning process and to re-establish their lives. It is not at all unheard of in the corporate world for life insurance paid by the company to be part of the benefits package. Now, here are a couple of things that WE can do to look out for ourselves. Take the room! Take the ride! Create within your own local, or even within your own circle, a job exchange. If you live in Thousand Oaks, and you have a call in San Pedro, trade your call with someone qualified who lives in Long Beach, but has a call in Piru. Yeah, I know it is not perfect, and that there are issues with the idea, but nothing gets fixed if no one tries. We, as IATSE, particularly our leadership, should work with production to front load night work to Monday night. Monday a night shift, Tuesday a split, Wednesday an earlier split, but Friday, you are coming in at a normal hour and getting off at a normal hour. This way, you get extra time to sleep in on Monday morning to prepare for the night work on Monday and you get home on Friday in time to have a full weekend and enjoy your family and friends. Carpool! If you have people who are interested in working 4 days a week, let them. Rotate one day a week off for everyone on the crew and have a full time day player to fill the holes. We work in a very creative environment, it is our jobs to solve problems. Letās solve our own problems. Rico, you were one of the best, I am sorry we let you down.
2024.05.14 00:14 DonRedPandaKeys Let no one deceive you in any way, for it will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessnessāthe son of destructionāis revealed. - 2 Thess. 2: 3
[ Notice: Not my article. Link: https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-question-i-was-having-discussion-with.html ]
~A QUESTION:~ I was having a discussion with the brother that used to teach me the bible about 2 Thes 2:4 and he brought up Ezek 28:2, saying that it is the apostates. Can you please assist.
~REPLY:~ 2Thess.2:4
Where did they receive their throne? Rev.18:7 speaks of the Harlot as also having this power, yet if all these are disfellowshipped individual "apostates"; who is the wild beast that they control and use to hurt the holy ones? Try to keep in mind that unless Yhwh draws someone to the truth, they will remain blind, no matter how well we may explain the truth to them (Rev.3:7; John6:44). All of us absolutely depend upon Holy Spirit to perceive any truth (Rev.7:10; Psalm104:29; John16:13). Think of the witness the Son of God gave mankind (Rev.3:14). Jesus raised the dead! And in response, the religious leaders sought to kill him (John11:44,46,47,53; 12:10).
This is the outcome for all those who stand for truth in our day (Rev.13:15). This is why Jesus told us,
submitted by DonRedPandaKeys to ExJwPIMOandPOMO [link] [comments]
~A QUESTION:~ I was having a discussion with the brother that used to teach me the bible about 2 Thes 2:4 and he brought up Ezek 28:2, saying that it is the apostates. Can you please assist.
~REPLY:~ 2Thess.2:4
who opposes and exalts himself against every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, proclaiming himself to be God.Eze.28:2:
Son of man, say to the ruler of Tyre, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: In the pride of your heart you say, "I am a god; I sit on the throne of a god in the heart of the seas. But you are a man and not a god, though you think you are as wise as a god.'You might ask, "If the apostates are ruling on the throne, how is it that un-anointed elders can expel them?". 2Thess.2:4 contains the same trait, "~he~ ~sets~ ~himself up~". This Greek means that he comes into power over all, not just that he thinks of himself as above others. When Psalm 82:7 speaks of their downfall, it confirms that they were ruling. (see also Isa.14:13,14; 63:18) Isaiah 23:8 says about this same identity (ruler of Tyre):
Who has taken this counsel ~against Tyre~, the crowning city, Whose merchants are princes, Whose traders are the ~honorable~ of the earth?Isa.23:8 brings out that they are "bestowers of crowns"/"crowning city". Do apostates have the power to give others position and authority among the people, as the GB gives it to elders? (Rev.9:7) Do they have "princes", and "merchants" of spiritual goods under them? (Eze.28:5,6,9; Rev.13:17). These identities fit exactly those of Rev.9 and Rev.13. There it is made very clear, that these identities are not rogue rebels, but false prophets with world-wide power and dominion, able to bring "all the earth", including all holy ones, under their power for "3 1/2 times" (Rev.11:2; 13:7; Dan.8:13; Isa.6:11), because rule over the "Temple Courtyard", has been given into the hands of these Gentiles (Jer.12:10).
Where did they receive their throne? Rev.18:7 speaks of the Harlot as also having this power, yet if all these are disfellowshipped individual "apostates"; who is the wild beast that they control and use to hurt the holy ones? Try to keep in mind that unless Yhwh draws someone to the truth, they will remain blind, no matter how well we may explain the truth to them (Rev.3:7; John6:44). All of us absolutely depend upon Holy Spirit to perceive any truth (Rev.7:10; Psalm104:29; John16:13). Think of the witness the Son of God gave mankind (Rev.3:14). Jesus raised the dead! And in response, the religious leaders sought to kill him (John11:44,46,47,53; 12:10).
This is the outcome for all those who stand for truth in our day (Rev.13:15). This is why Jesus told us,
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. Mark 8:35Rev.6:11 shows that all the remnant, ~need to be~ "killed/slain" (Mark 8:35; Rom.6:5), in order to get sealed. How exactly is that happening, to the anointed who are in the Organization, in the "spiritual paradise"? As long as Satan can convince the anointed that they have "peace and security" (1Thess.5:2,3), and they are not destined to follow in the footsteps of Christ (Luke22:28; Rev.14:4; Rom.6:3) Matt.16:21,22,23 then they will not rouse themselves from their drunken stupor. Isa.51:21,22,23; Matt.5:13 It is well worth dying for our reward, which is soon to come! (symbolic-death-by-means-of-world) Love, Pearl
2024.05.14 00:14 BeaklessBird My husbandās diabolical SIL
Omg, this might be long but I just want to paint a picture of how evil and diabolical my husbandās toxic SIL is. Because I JUST made a connection about some odd comments she made a few years ago.
Back in 2022, I was 3mo pregnant. Important detail: Hubby and I wanted to wait 5 years after marriage to try for kids and we did! So, anyway, I initiated a convo between BIL and his toxic wife to try and make amends (like Iād already stupidly done 5x+ š). At the restaurant, our waitress was telling us that sheād been trying for a baby for a couple years with no luck. My BIL turned to the waitress and said, āItāll happen for you ā my SIL here and my brother tried for YEARS with no luck and now theyāre expecting..ā and I was SHOCKED bc thatās a total lie. I said āUhh no thatās not true. It happened right away.ā I guess they couldnāt possibly fathom that my husband and I actually planned and prepared for our kid (because they donāt and just call it āGodās Will when they get pregnant š they donāt even properly care for or love the 4 kids they already have) and so they genuinely had to lie to themselves and believe that hubby and I were infertile???
Hereās the crazy part: around 2021, I was talking with a couple of ladies about kids and, husbandās toxic SIL, out of the blue, said to my face, āYeah, thankfully Iām suuuper duper fertileā¦. Are YOU pregnant?ā And I was confused cause it was so random and said āNope! Weāre not trying anytime soon.ā
I now realize that she made that comment while believing I was infertile. WHO TF SAYS THAT?? Omg. Just one of the MANY reasons Iām NC with her. It takes a special kind of evil person to say something that horrible. š¤® Like, what if I WERE infertile? This is the same monster who: - told me that āOne kid is A JOKEā when I was like 35wks along with my first (and only) son. She has 4 daughters so she feels superior, I guess? š - who posted on FB when she was ā9wksā that they were āexpectingā while FULLY knowing that the baby didnāt develop beyond 5wks. Literally pretended everything was okay with the baby and then waited til she was ā16wksā to announce their loss (coincidentally) on my SONās FIRST BDAY!
Sheās truly fkn evil and has the lowest self esteem Iāve ever seen. She has to (try to) put others down to make herself feel better.
Also, sheās never told me Happy Motherās Day but, now that sheās blocked, she tried to relay a āHappy Motherās Dayā to me though my husband. š like, girl, BYE. šš½ Itās exhausting. He didnāt reply š¤£ heās sooo sick of her sh*t, too. Ugh. Iām done.
submitted by BeaklessBird to inlaws [link] [comments]
Back in 2022, I was 3mo pregnant. Important detail: Hubby and I wanted to wait 5 years after marriage to try for kids and we did! So, anyway, I initiated a convo between BIL and his toxic wife to try and make amends (like Iād already stupidly done 5x+ š). At the restaurant, our waitress was telling us that sheād been trying for a baby for a couple years with no luck. My BIL turned to the waitress and said, āItāll happen for you ā my SIL here and my brother tried for YEARS with no luck and now theyāre expecting..ā and I was SHOCKED bc thatās a total lie. I said āUhh no thatās not true. It happened right away.ā I guess they couldnāt possibly fathom that my husband and I actually planned and prepared for our kid (because they donāt and just call it āGodās Will when they get pregnant š they donāt even properly care for or love the 4 kids they already have) and so they genuinely had to lie to themselves and believe that hubby and I were infertile???
Hereās the crazy part: around 2021, I was talking with a couple of ladies about kids and, husbandās toxic SIL, out of the blue, said to my face, āYeah, thankfully Iām suuuper duper fertileā¦. Are YOU pregnant?ā And I was confused cause it was so random and said āNope! Weāre not trying anytime soon.ā
I now realize that she made that comment while believing I was infertile. WHO TF SAYS THAT?? Omg. Just one of the MANY reasons Iām NC with her. It takes a special kind of evil person to say something that horrible. š¤® Like, what if I WERE infertile? This is the same monster who: - told me that āOne kid is A JOKEā when I was like 35wks along with my first (and only) son. She has 4 daughters so she feels superior, I guess? š - who posted on FB when she was ā9wksā that they were āexpectingā while FULLY knowing that the baby didnāt develop beyond 5wks. Literally pretended everything was okay with the baby and then waited til she was ā16wksā to announce their loss (coincidentally) on my SONās FIRST BDAY!
Sheās truly fkn evil and has the lowest self esteem Iāve ever seen. She has to (try to) put others down to make herself feel better.
Also, sheās never told me Happy Motherās Day but, now that sheās blocked, she tried to relay a āHappy Motherās Dayā to me though my husband. š like, girl, BYE. šš½ Itās exhausting. He didnāt reply š¤£ heās sooo sick of her sh*t, too. Ugh. Iām done.