Med school insspirational music

Hi~ I'm looking for someone to just chit chat, talk about hobbies and do silly stuff as friends. I'm kinda tired of guy spaces as the guys around me always talk about football, girls, and investing in stock market (ew). I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet, I just wanna make friends.
Here's some stuff about me:
• I'm 5'9... I guess? 175 in centimeters, idk the imperial system that well. I'm 110 kilos (which is a lot ik) but I promise don't look like I weigh that much.
• I have kinda long dark hair, I've grown it down to my shoulders before and I plan on growing it again. I usually dress quite simple with a t shirt and jeans with a jacket, all black, but I'd love to explore different styles. I'm very into alternative and grunge aesthetic and I'll definitely rebuild my wardrobe with alternative/grunge stuff once I lose the weight, especially feminine stuff like skirts...
• I often use he/him pronuns since I look way too manly but I'm actually trans! I usually prefer they/them pronouns over he/him and in long term I plan on starting HRT, just not right now. I'm still new to the community so I might not be able to answer most questions but if you're also queetrans and want to ask questions, or maybe just want another friend from the community I'd LOVE to too.
• I love jewelry and make up. I've just started using make up and I've only tried using foundation, eyeliner and nail polishes so far but I'm trying to improve. Also I love rings, earrings, bracelets... Not a big fan of necklaces but still, they're pretty.
• I don't oppose meeting irl but I'm usually extremely nervous around people I recently met so I prefer starting from online, I'd be open to discuss about an irl meeting afterwards.
• I listen to a variety of song genres but I love metal. Recently I've been listening A7X and Slipknot for the most of the time but I'm open to explore any genre.
• I'm very unfamiliar with TV series/movies but I'm willing to watch some new things. I've watched some anime in high school too, I watched AOT, Naruto and Fairy Tail as well as Black Lagoon and some other 12 episode short animes but I don't remember all of them. Anyway, I'm open to suggestions.
• I have a LOT of hobbies. I don't even know where to start. I play guitar a little and I make songs on FL studio but I'm still amateur, yet I have one or two songs that I've written and I'd love to have a friend to talk about music. I like talking about politics but I don't like strictly one sided opinions, I don't like fanatics. In terms of science I love astronomy and theoretical physics, and I will yap a lot about them if you'd like to listen. I also love philosophy and sociology even though I don't have that much knowledge about them so I'd probably listen more than talk about those topics. I also yap about economy sometimes but I know very little about it. I don't draw but I love art so if you're an artist I can hit you with one or two suggestions and an endless amount of compliments.
• I don't like religious debates. I respect everyone's belief but I don't like sharing opinions about each other's religion since it could raise the tension a lot so... I prefer to keep it to ourselves.
• I used to play games but my PC broke so I quitted about a year ago. The PC was old anyway so I could only play LoL, Call of Duty (old singleplayer ones like black ops 1), Need for Speed MW... I mostly played singleplayer games so I can't be a game buddy but I can talk about games.
Once you get to know me, you'll meet with a ton of shitposts, absolutely meaningless memes and made up scenarios where you might end up as a 10ft chair running away from a blood thirsted sea turtle named Globblegunk or overthrowing the government with an ape clan all using telekinesis to fight. Yeah... like I said, silly stuff.

Okay, sorry if this is all over the place but I want some insight from others not involved in the situation whatsoever. Feel free to ask for any clarity etc.
I (29F) and my husband (36M) have 2 kids. To protect their privacy I would prefer not to share details but I will share vague info. They are elementary aged. I put off my own schooling to focus on getting our kids established and we do virtual homeschooling. My husband has never been able to hold down a job due to a few health things (anxiety that he uses medication for, and a few years in he got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and EOE but he doesn't stay on top of his own care). We live with my mom. He has lived with me under my moms roof for what would have been 12 years later this year.
Here is where I am asking for insight.
My mom witnessed him becoming more and more emotionally and verbally abusive. She sent him to his grandmas March 1st. My brother and I drove him down and we slept there and drove home the next day. He has been down there since. So 2 months. It was originally supposed to be around 2 weeks but then they asked about him staying another week. He was supposed to call my mom and they were supposed to talk about him coming back home. The one phone call they had he was making an excuse for why he yelled at me on the phone since he'd even been down there and then all he cared to talk about was his doctor(nurse practitioner) not sending his medicine, his insurance issues and all about his medicines. He is addicted to prescription drugs as well. If more info is needed I can elaborate but trying to keep this as short as possible but with enough details. He has also told us to go file divorce papers(I have never indicated separation, this was simply my mom wanting him to appreciate us and treat us better which it seems he is a narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but himself), custody, coparenting etc. So in his mind his is flipping it into US needing to work on our marriage instead of HIM working on how he treats me and our children.
He has barely talked to our kids. In the beginning I kept complaining about his lack of talking to them, then he would only try to call late at night. As I mentioned, they are school aged. I'm talking like 9:00pm or later he wanted to talk to them. Like I said, he didn't work and was aware of them having early mornings so this irked me. I told him he needed to stop putting us all off until the end of the day and it was completely rude and disrespectful to our kids time. He said he's busy and calls when he can.... I told him that's unacceptable and he needs to carve out a little time earlier in the day for them. I told him not to call after 8:00pm, which is still late quite frankly but better than 9 or 10. He has talked to them less than 10 times(don't know the exact amount so being generous with an estimation) I can look at my call log if necessary and try to weed out when he actually talked with THEM. Anywho, there was one Thursday night when he was supposed to call and I gave him a time and said no video chatting(he always tries to force me to be involved and I was busy and didn't want a camera being shoved in my face). He asked why not. I explained it wasn't a good night. He asked if he could video chat them Friday instead because he had things he wanted to show them. I made sure I was clear on what he meant and asked if he meant NOT talk to them "tonight" in order to videochat "tomorrow"? (this happened in the past hence the "") He said yes. He had not talked to them in 2 weeks at that point. So I was mad that he didn't ask if he could talk to them tonight but videochat them tomorrow as well....but then he said he was busy anyway so that would work better.....okay. Friday comes. He CALLS them. He was SO distracted on the phone and BARELY talked to them. He mentioned his brother had reached out about hanging out so I am thinking he was texting him while on the phone with them, but I don't know. I told our older child he was supposed to videochat so they mentioned it to him and he took a few minutes to send the link(iphone to android videochat) our child texted because it was taking so long. He finally sent the link and they were videochatting. He wasn't trying to show them anything. I mentioned he was supposed to show them stuff. He mentioned a coloring book and they had to ASK to see it. Then they ASKED about grannys dog so he showed them the dog. I gave them a time limit but gave wiggle room for the sake of our kids. I realized the chatting was going nowhere because he just wasn't interested in talking to them. Our older child mentions needing to go, then he says something like the child hadn't said they needed to go, in order to make it look like he "cared" like, "oh mommy said a time but I don't remember what it was so we probably need to go" they were over 10 minutes past, and I knew it but again I gave wiggle room for the kids. I chewed him out in a text and he admitted I was right and he was distracted and gave 348724985 excuses for what happened that day as to why he was distracted but I didn't want to hear any of it.
My kids very rarely bring him up. I ask them here and there how they are feeling about things and they are both sad but one of our kids even said that daddy was mean sometimes. That crushed me. I didn't know they felt that way. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. I know what I went through and dealt with, but I was so blind to how he was doing them. I feel awful. And it came from the kid I would least expect it to come from cuz he seemed to give them more attention. I don't think the kids have asked to call him a single time. If they did I would absolutely not stop them, I'm not keeping them from talking to him. I am however setting boundaries on his side of things because he has no respect for our kids and their time. While he was on the phone with them he even brought up having issues with his doctor(NP) and meds. He talked to them for maybe around 30 minutes, most of which was the kids trying to talk and him saying.....uh......what? and telling one kid he was proud of them, they asked what for, he said......uh.....you're getting so big.
Side note; he mentioned I always have to say "something" (I am calling him out on his crap and not allowing him to use excuses anymore) and if I can't be peaceful we can't coparent. He informed me via TEXT April 17th that he now LIVED there. Has been so uninvolved already but ESPECIALLY now). I told him he has NO right to tell me how to COPARENT when he can't even PARENT to begin with and told him to ask HIMSELF a few questions and if he couldn't answer them he needs to reevaluate how good of a parent he is before trying to come at me for how I am PARENTING. I DO IT ALL. Anyways, like I said, we virtual homeschool and he was "involved" enough to know basics. So one of the questions was what grade both kids are in. He responded with his answers. He was wrong on both. Couldn't tell me what clothing size one was and was wrong on shoe size for both as well. He did get one of the kids teacher and speech therapist right but the teacher is a repeat from our older student and the speech therapist has been with us since the beginning so I knew he should know at least THAT one. I'm wondering if he googled what size one may be in because he mentioned a size not common to all stores but I do give him credit for answering what he did correctly. Its the ones that are incorrect though that are of issue. And I didn't correct him. He wasn't supposed to send me answers. I said to ask himself. He was just to cocky thinking he was really getting himself a "gotcha" moment. It makes me sad. I did tell my kids not to answer any questions if they videochatted(which I admit I didn't like doing, but with all circumstances I don't want him using them to answer questions making it seem like he knows more than he truly does) I told my older child what grade he thought they were in and they pointed out, "I was in ---grade when he left....." But we kinda laughed about how stupid/silly/dorkish it was and I am NOT trying to make him look bad. I shield our kids from a lot because I don't want their opinions of anyone swayed any way due to something someone else says. Same goes for their dad. Regardless of how I feel about him and the way he's done I don't want them holding things against him and distancing themselves due to things that don't need to divulged to them to begin with.
I'm sorry this was a lot, and it's probably all over the place and a mess.. I just need insight or opinions from someone that isn't involved or related to either of us so opinions won't be swayed. If any more info is needed in regards to myself or my husband feel free to ask.
I will also be moving forward with my schooling possibly this year or next depending. I wanted both of our kids established and while I'm not sure I'm quite ready because my younger student still requires more help and needs improvement with reading for me to be fully comfortable I may be able to start online courses in the meantime if able to do so before doing in person things eventually. My husband was no help with the kids and when he sat in or did attempt he had ZERO patience and was awful. So I limited what I would ask him to help with and did all the "heavy lifting" myself. We are all doing much better mentally and our younger child is unlearning some behaviors and is a completely different kid. They are coming out of their shell and while they've always been loving now they are even more sweet and loving and involved with others. I have seen so much improvement. And their dad has not mentioned talking to them SINCE that friday which was May 3rd, so it has been 10 days at this point.
Thank you to anyone that has read this trainwreck. If you think I handled things wrong and have advice on how to better handle things as well please feel free to advise away. While I am hoping I won't get ripped to shreds, I appreciate blunt honesty and can handle constructive criticism. :)

advice needed!!
i’m a college student who just went home for the summer and the local pharmacy by my school just told me they FINALLY have my meds in stock. however, the rite aid won’t ship it to me and i can’t go back to school to get it because it’s far away. no place near my home has the meds and they say it’ll be out of stock for weeks. does anyone have any advice of how i can get my medicine picked up and shipped to me??

I just turned 20 and my family life is not the best. Im constantly being screamed at and controlled by my mom, they have control over my money, and I am stressed to the point where now I have been prescribed meds to lower my heart rate that I take 6 times a day. My mom threatens to break me and my girlfriend up just to hurt me, and we fight every time we are in the same room. I am also employed by them. Due to other issues, I don’t have my license.
What can I do to make my life better and less stressful because I can’t do it anymore. I don’t have a degree, so are there good remote jobs/side hustles I can pursue to help me? Where is a good place to live that is affordable? Moving isn’t 100% realistic at the moment. My dream right now is to do a work exchange program in Europe just to get away from her, but I am so incredibly scared to do it. I want to maybe go back to school, but the constant stress that I am under, on top of working full time, makes it almost impossible. I don’t know what to do, I am open to any advice.

I just want to rant and to read other guy's opinions on this whole situation and your experience. It's something that's surely bothering me and affecting my mental health for months now. I wish it wasn't, but you know, feelings are not something we can easily have control of and with this whole thing I can truly realize how fragile my mind is. I'm almost 5 months trying to deal with it, I got depressed, anxious, started taking meds, lost a lot of weight, almost 22lbs - mainly of muscle, lost drive, lost motivation to go to the gym, to study, to concentrate on college and so on. It fucked me up. There are periods there it goes up and down, but it's there almost all the time, like a basal negativity.
So, I don't know if this count as some sort of RJ, but I think it does. A quick resume:
I met my now gf last year, 02/2023. We are both 24, she never had a boyfriend before and she's also my first gf.
We had 3 dates together, had sex twice, but I had to go back to the city where I study as I'm finishing med school. I thought that it would not go anywhere because of our distance, but we kept talking to each other, she kept reaching me every few days, she would sometimes text me first, sometimes I would - basically talking about routine, hobbies, daily life. At some point, I started to develop some feelings. Still, I was afraid it would not go anywhere and that there was a chance she was seeing someone else, so I wanted to avoid getting attached and asked a girl from college out one night. She accepted, we kissed, but it didn't lead to sex and that was it. I figure it was best for me to just focus on college and later get to know the other girl in my city better to see where things would go.
She's one of the prettiest girls I've been with and her kind of personality matched mine well so I decided to give it a try when I returned to my city during vacations. 4 months later, I'm back, we spent almost a whole month together hanging out and then I ask her to be my girlfriend, she accepts. I returned to the city where I study, we decided to make the LDR thing work, as she is almost graduating from college as well. every 1~2 months we were taking flights to see each other on holidays, weekends and so on.
Everything is going great, we were happy, more emotionally conected and so on. We went to a trip together in vacations, I started the topic of previous romantic relationships, we talked about it for some time, then she asks me how many girls I hooked up with during that 4 months we were talking long distance. I tell her the truth and made the mistake to ask her back. During all that time, I knew I would not want to get into that specific and that the answer would probably affect me. She told me she just made out with one guy at a night when she went to the club with her girlfriends, but didn't like the talking and decided to not exchange contact with him. I'm certain it was all true. I bringed that on the same night, I got very upset and we talked about it one more time, about 2 months later. The projected image of this scene keeps haunting me like an obsession, her decision to do it while we were talking, the feeling of being betrayed even when what I did was similar and even knowing we hadn't discussed exclusivity at that point. I wanted her so much, projected a future together, got so motivated for us to finally be close for good but now I'm going through this whole mental suffering about being uncertain if I will ever be able to deal with it at some point. If I break up, maybe it will happen again, maybe it won't, but what I've learn now is that for me, this is something that I gotta adress early with the women whenever I might start having feelings towards.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be dead in the next 24 hours.
Whether that's the Costella family, or whatever this is, I'm not sure.
The police are taking forever, and part of me knows they're either refusing to believe me, or RC got them too.
I'm holed up on our school bus, so I've got nothing better to do.
I want to tell you about my team.
We met in our sophomore year.
Strangers standing outside the club room.
Levi was the freckled brunette who wouldn't stop talking about Game of Thrones.
Sunny, a pretty redhead, told him to shut up.
Tom, a sandy blonde, nodding his head to music corked in his ears.
I just wanted to be part of a club, and get away from my overbearing mother.
I won't say it was a perfect start. Our school was lacking in funding, so anyone could join, which made us more of a Quiz Club. I had some serious anxiety, so I stayed on the sidelines for a while, watching, rather than taking part.
It's not like we actually talked to each other initially. The first few weeks, we played Jeopardy, and attempted to find more members to cement us as an official Academic Decathlon club.
Unfortunately, though, it was just the four of us.
Which made it extremely hard for us to be taken seriously.
According to Google, Academic Decathlon teams were made up of nine members, placed by their GPA.
Our principal laughed at us, but he did let us become official.
Which was out of pity, I assumed.
The club was assembled, and we started meeting up after school.
Sort of.
Sunny barely showed up, and Levi didn't take anything seriously, preferring to spend the time telling us about his weird family turf-war.
Our principal dumped us in a tiny classroom with a resident rat living under the floorboards.
There was barely enough room to move, and the four of us crammed together for three hours was less than appealing.
Still, though, I wanted to be part of a club.
I had grown up with parents who were obsessed with board games, so I was pretty good at general knowledge questions. Our club room was too small for anything else but three desks (Sunny and I shared one) and a whiteboard we had to shove through the door.
But, again, we didn't start as an Academic club.
It was more akin to Story Time Club.
Arriving late on my third day, armed with quiz cards from home, I found Tom and Sunny completely mesmerised by Levi’s storytelling skills, drowned in shadow.
They didn't even turn the lights on.
I strictly remember squeezing next to Sunny, and hearing the words, “But there was so much blood all over the floor, and my Mom told me to go upstairs and hide under the bed…”
Sitting in front of them was Levi, perched on a desk, his legs swinging, a whiteboard marker between his teeth.
Sometimes he'd get up, and illustrate parts of his story.
It sucked that his drawings were all stick people.
I won't go into full details of his life, but Levi grew up as part of a family who had… interesting methods of making a living. I had seen the guy’s father multiple times when we hung out at his place, and, yeah, my friend’s family definitely had Soprano vibes.
Levi’s Draw My Life was nothing to do with the club, but it did bring us closer.
Even if, at that point, I was considering leaving.
But it's not like it was easy to walk away from these guys. It's like finding your soulmates. Levi wasn't the only one with an interesting life. Sunny Lang was an ex kpop trainee, who was kicked out for being too fat, which led her to develop a severe eating disorder, and a hatred for her own body.
Sunny explained her family were originally from Boston, her mother growing up in Korea.
She signed up for an idol agency focusing on creating a new girl group, and had gotten all the way to the final stages, before being kicked for her weight. Sunny told us her story with a smile, though there was a hollowness in her eyes I couldn't ignore. The other girls were judgemental bullies, and the idol diet and brutal regime almost killed her.
Sunny lived in a tiny apartment with 9 girls, who would tear each other apart for a chance to debut. Sunny said all the other girls debuted, and when we (not so patiently) asked for names, she shrugged, admitting she signed an NDA that prevented her spilling the beans.
What she did say, was the K-pop idol is a product, not a person– and are made and moulded into a product.
She had zero interest in throwing her humanity away to become a manufactured doll.
So, one of us was the son of an underground family, and the other was an ex idol.
Tom was an aspiring horror writer with a famous older step-brother.
His story times were usually, That one time I went to the Met Gala.
When it was my turn to reveal my story, I told them the only interesting thing about me.
I could smell when something bad was going to happen.
They laughed, but I was being serious.
When I was a kid, I smelled my mother’s brain tumor.
I remember it smelled like curdled milk.
I asked Mom why her head smelled of mouldy milk, and Mom laughed and said it was her shampoo.
It was actually a grade two tumor growing inside her brain.
Thankfully, the tumour was found quickly and removed.
Growing older, I became sensitive to smell. The little girl choking on the bus smelled of singed wood, and the old man crossing the road stunk of gasoline.
In the fourth grade, my classmate Alex Castor smelled of lemons all morning.
I sat behind him, choking on the stink all the way through class.
Ever since I met him, Alex had always smelled… off.
It was a distinct smell I could never understand, and as the days and months and years went by, that smell morphed into a subtle orangey musk that was so strong I had to cover my mouth and nose. Then, he smelled like lemons.
During Recess, I watched Alex fall off of the jungle gym, straight onto his head.
Alex Castor was dead before the paramedics arrived, my panicked teacher attempting CPR when his brains were leaking out of his ears.
The school claimed it was an accident, but Alex would have been fine if the jungle gym wasn't built on solid concrete.
I told my team members this, and Levi was sceptical.
“You can smell bad things?” He said, his lips curved around his milkshake straw. In the early days, we hung out in the local bar. It's not like we were allowed inside, but Levi could get us in anywhere.
I was squeezed between Tom and Sunny, while Levi took the seat opposite us. I couldn't help noticing our waitress was insisting on free milkshake refills, her frantic eyes glued to Levi.
I had zero idea why. Levi Costella was about as intimidating as a fruit fly.
Wearing a white shirt with a popped collar, a leather jacket thrown over the top, Levi was giving rebellious Harvard student, rather than son of a crime family.
Leaning forward, he raised a brow, clearly not believing me.
“So, you're like a stink psychic?”
I shrugged, sipping my own shake.
“Sure.”
I wasn't planning on telling him the club room smelled off on our first day.
Once we actually started the club, Levi surprised us as the smartest member, and getting to know him further, I came to the realization his family were infamous in our town.
However, his parents hid it well. Lucy and Michael Costella were the owners of a popular ramen store in our town, hiding under the facade of two successful business owners. The Costella’s were an attractive family.
Lucy was a sophisticated brunette with a lipstick smile, Michael, a handsome fluffy haired man who looked like he modelled glasses.
The two were fiercely protective over their youngest son, not so casually reminding us behind grinning smiles, that if anything happened to Levi, we would automatically be involved in the family.
I mean, they did laugh and say, “We’re joking! Look at your little faces!” when Sunny went deathly pale. But there was definitely truth behind their words.
Being Levi’s friend was… challenging at first.
Tom and I were in his room studying for finals, and an alarm went off, flooding Levi’s room in red light.
I had zero idea where it was coming from, but it locked all the doors and windows, forcing the Costella residence into temporary lockdown. Levi didn't seem fazed, casually mentioning his parents were taking care of it.
He had a whiteboard set up in his room, and was standing in front of it, cramming all of our textbook notes into one easily digestible drawing.
Levi wasn't just smart.
He was Ivy League smart, so we had struck gold with him.
His family were questionable, and yes, sometimes I did fear for my life, but as the more time we spent at his house, the Costella household became a second home. We got used to the alarms.
I just brought along ear plugs.
I wish I was writing this post about Levi’s family, and sure, they are a factor in what is going on right now, but I want to preface this by saying the events below involve the 2024 scholastic decathlon final in our town with the school’s listed:
Starbrook High School.
Ratcliffe High School.
Please note, the incident that took place last night was immediately covered up, and all phone footage was destroyed. Our town is mostly out of the way, and does not show up on Google searches.
We also have our own version of the academic decathlon, which is a more town-level competition, due to lacking funds. The four of us were desperate to start competing with our schools.
So, we started taking things a little more seriously.
We got a coach.
Mr Hanes, who was hesitant at first.
In his words, “You will hate me as your coach.”
He started by recruiting more members, announcing, “If you want to be taken seriously as an actual club, then I'll be taking the reins from now on.”
He did, and with our teachers guidance (and sometimes brutal honesty), we reached a level where we could start competing with other school’s in town. Now, none of us knew this, but Mr Hanes was obsessed with winning.
So, club meetings were twisted into two hour study sessions with no talking, followed by Mr Hanes Jeaprody, which was Jeaprody, without the actual fun.
We were quizzed multiple times, answer cards and practise questions quite literally thrown directly in our faces.
I hate to admit this (I really hate to admit this) but Mr Hanes’s tactics worked. Sure, we had been mildly brainwashed by our slightly unhinged coach, but with Levi Costella, we destroyed our competitors. Like I said, our town held their own version of the academic scholastic decathlon, but it was pretty much the same, with some changes.
Ten subjects. Language and Literature, Math, Social Science, Economics, Art, Music, Interview, Speech, and Essay.
Unlike the official Decathlon, ours was more like a game show, with the ability to be knocked out if a team member answers a question wrong. Whoever answers the most questions correctly wins. Team meet ups were either tests, study sessions, or quizzing each other.
Which leads me to last night.
The finals were held in the reigning champions, Ratcliffe High School’s, auditorium.
And we were about to win our town’s Scholastic Decathlon 2024 Championships.
Well…I was knocked out in the music section. Standing next to my coach who I was sure was going to asphyxiate from excitement, I could smell the sudden potent stink of lemon. I tried to ignore it at first, but the more questions my team were answering correctly, the smell got worse, suffocating my senses.
This wasn't just lemon. The stink was like a burning, singing smell trickling into my nose and the back of my throat.
It was stronger than what Alex smelled like.
This was suffocating, drowning my thoughts.
“Are you okay, Cassandra?”
Mr Hanes nudged me when a Ratcliffe girl was struggling to answer a question, only for Sunny to jump in with the answer. “You look quite pale.”
I nodded, forcing a smile.
My gaze was on the Ratcliffe coach, a scary looking blonde woman, whispering in one of her student’s ears.
The Ratcliffe kid freaked me out. He was way too tall, dark blonde hair, and bulging eyes I swear were not blinking.
His gaze was glued to Levi, who wore a smug grin.
There was a smaller girl next to the Ratcliffe kid, a Macbook balanced on her knee. Every so often, he leaned into her, the two of them in deep conversation.
“I'm just nervous.”
I jumped when Ratcliffe scored a point, their side erupting into cheers.
During the break, we had a mini team meeting.
Sunny rushed to the bathroom to freshen up, and I noticed a Ratcliffe girl with a bouncing ponytail following her.
Ignoring our coach’s speech, I joined the two girls in the corridor, that lemony scent hanging thick in the air.
I caught them in an awkward position.
The Ratcliffe girl had her fingers pinched between the material of Sunny’s dark blue shirt bearing our school’s name.
Sunny looked confused, her lips parted like she was going to yell.
Ponytail dropped her hand, suddenly, with a nervous laugh. “Oh! I'm so, so, sorry,” she gushed. “You had, like, the biggest spider crawling on your back.”
Sunny caught my eye, shooting me a reassuring smile.
“Thanks.” She made sure to keep her distance. “Uh, where's your bathroom?”
The Ratcliffe girl nodded down the hallway. “It's just down there. I'm going there too if you want me to show you?”
Sunny motioned for me to go back to the auditorium. “Uh, sure! That'd be great!”
I did try to follow them, only for Sunny to cough loudly.
I took the hint, reluctantly heading back into the auditorium.
My team was hyping each other up, Levi in the centre, sweating through his team shirt. He ran a trembling hand through his hair. “I can't do this,” He groaned. “Ratcliffe High is known to play dirty, man. They're unbeatable.”
“In what way do they play dirty?” I asked, joining them.
Levi gulped down water, shrugging.
“I dunno! They're already trying to distract me with the stink eye.” The boy narrowed his eyes at a grinning Ratcliffe kid who, after noticing our stares, jumped to his feet, waving at us.
“Hey guys!”
“That's Harry Cartwright, the son of the Cartwright family who tried to kill my parents in the third grade.” Levi mockingly waved back. “As you can see, their kid is a fucking sociopath.”
Huh. I wasn't expecting the smiley kid to be the mobster’s son.
Harry Cartwright was not what I expected.
Unlike his team members, he was the only one in casual clothing, a short sleeved white shirt and jeans, a pair of sunglasses perched on top of his head.
Tom went pale.
“Fuck.” He hissed. “He’s one of you? Then those bastards will have a reason to play dirty, right?”
Levi shrugged, averting his gaze. It was the first time I saw his eyes darken, like he was subtly telling the boy to back off.
“The Cartwright’s have been trying to buy our land for a while,” he muttered. “I wouldn't put it past them to use the Decathlon as a way to attack.”
“Attack?!” April, another member of our team, hissed. “Like, attack attack?”
Mr Hanes grabbed the boy, resting his hands on Levi’s shoulders. “Ignore them,” he said. “Hey. Look at me.”
Levi did, raising a brow.
“You're losing that spark in your eye, young man.”
“Spark?”
Our coach nodded. “Look at me, kid.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “I am looking at you, Mr Hanes.”
The man was shaking. I was guessing his whole career (or coaching career) was on the line.
“They know they're losing, Mr Costella.”
Hanes shook the boy, squeezing his shoulders. “You are being positive and Ratcliffe doesn't like that. They want you to be nervous. They want to make you second guess yourself and lose confidence. Don't let them get into your head.” he smiled, giving the boy a playful shove. “Kick their asses.”
“Exactly!”
I didn't realize Sunny was back from the bathroom.
The faint smell of lemons had followed her. I noticed a wet patch on her shirt collar, though she was quick to smile at me, admitting she'd spilled water down herself. Sunny wrapped her arms around Levi, squeezing him into a hug.
She hung on for a little too long, Tom dragging her away with a laugh. “Good luck, all right?” she backed away, ruffling his hair. “We’ve got this!”
When I hugged Levi good luck too, I had to resist covering my nose.
The smell of lemon was unbearable, just like fourth grade Alex.
But it wasn't as potent as earlier.
I vaguely remembered the smell starting to fade once Alex’s body was being carted away on a stretcher.
Following my captain through the crowd, I was right. The smell was less suffocating. Before he went back to the stage, I grabbed the back of his shirt.
The material was soaking wet.
“How are you so wet?” I said, swiping my hands on my shirt.
“Huh?”
I shook my head. “Never mind. Do you remember what I told you in sophomore year?”
Levi settled me with a confident, but nervous smile. “Thaaaat you're scared of clowns?”
“No. I mean the boy who smelled of lemons.” I gritted out.
Levi surprised me with a laugh. “What are you talking about?”
Something ice cold trickled down my spine.
Levi did know what I was talking about. He brought up my stink sense a day earlier in front of his parents, and I had to cover his mouth to shut him up.
Leaning close, I whispered in his ear. “You stink of rotten lemons.”
He nodded slowly, pulling away. “Uh… thanks?”
I bit back a hiss of frustration. “No, you don't understand what I'm saying–”
“Starbrooke High School,” The host announced. “Can all members please return to the stage.”
Levi held up his hand for a high five.
“Can we do this later?” He winked. “I'm kinda busy carrying this spelling-bee on my back right now.”
I nodded shakily, high fiving him, and letting him jump back onto the stage.
Before his words hit like a tidal wave, ice cold water slammed into me.
Spelling Bee?
Slowly making my way back to the stands, Levi’s mistake was circling around my head. He did win a spelling bee, but that was in middle school.
Thankfully, the smell of lemons was gone when I returned to my seat.
Mr Hanes handed me a soda. “Chill out, Cassandera, it's just a game.”
He could talk. The guy was on his fifth coffee.
Mr Hanes was not chilled out in the slightest.
Surprisingly, the event went well. I was half expecting my team to be crushed by the rafters, or caught in a blaze started in the crowd. But we were doing well. No, we were winning.
Reaching the climaxing round, Sunny choked against a smug Ratcliffe boy, joining me on the sidelines.
Levi answered the next question with a confident smile.
We were winning, but Ratcliffe could still catch up with a miracle.
The second to last question was to Ratcliffe, and it was general knowledge.
”Where on the human body would one find the *orbit?*
I knew the answer, and so did Levi, his lips breaking out into a smile when the Ratcliffe boy was hesitating, eyes wide.
Our school’s buzzer went off, Levi slamming his hand down.
Bzzz!
The host turned to our team. “Starbrooke, can I have your answer?”
Levi nodded, shooting our team a victory grin.
“It's…!“ He opened his mouth to answer, his jaw slackening suddenly.
The boy’s shoulders slumped.
“Uh… “
“Um…”
“Huhhhhh…”
Levi inclined his head, blinking, his eyes glazing over. There was a sudden, hollow vacancy that sent chills down my spine. It was like someone had reached into his skull, and yanked out his brain, leaving a shell in his place.
To my confusion, our team captain frowned at his buzzer like he'd never seen one before. He pressed it, exploding into child-like giggles.
Bzzz!
The audience laughed along nervously.
Tom nudged me. “What the fuck is he doing?”
Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz!
Levi’s entire body was slumped, his hand slamming down on the buzzer.
I caught something pooling down his chin.
“Is he… drooling?” I whispered.
Mr Hanes looked mildly horrified. “Has he been drinking?
“Levi?” Tom spluttered. “Drinking?!"
Whatever we were watching, however, was definitely influenced by… something.
Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz!
“Young man, that is not a toy!”
The host wasn't amused. “Starbrooke High School, I need an answer from you,” He nodded to Levi, who was pressing the buzzer, his smile growing.
“Once again,” The host backed away, like Levi was contagious. “Where on the human body would one find the Orbit?”
Levi cocked his head, lips parted.
His gaze found the overhead lights, and he winced, his lips curling into a frown.
“Starbrooke High School!”
Levi jumped, tipping his head back and blowing a raspberry. “Palm tree?”
The audience laughed, and I started feeling nauseous.
Across from us, I could see the twist of a smirk on the Ratcliffe coach’s lips.
Bzzz! Levi slammed the buzzer again giggling.
“Starbrooke High School, if your team member continues to act like this, I will be forced to disqualify all members.”
Our captain stopped, gaze glued to the host, his hand creeping towards the buzzer, like it was a big red button.
The audience loved it, laughing like they were watching a sitcom.
“He wouldn't.” Tom whisper-shrieked.
The auditorium was silent for a moment, awaiting Starbrooke’s response.
Levi stuck out his tongue, slamming his hand down.
Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz–
When Tom dragged Levi away from his podium, a Ratcliffe girl hit her buzzer.
“Starbrooke High School, you are disqualified,” the host announced. “Ratcliffe High School, do you have an answer?”
It was Ponytail who nodded with a grin.
“The answer is the eye socket! The Orbit is part of the eye socket!”
“That is the correct answer.” The host was distracted, his eyes glued to Levi.
“Ratcliffe High School wins.”
Levi jumped when the Ratcliffe wide erupted into cheers.
His eyes were wide, clinging onto the buzzer for comfort.
Next to me, our coach looked like he was going to faint.
I barely noticed Ratcliffe’s victory, too busy watching our team captain, who was Harvard bound, tipping his head back and smiling at the ceiling like a new-born baby. Tom dragged the stumbling boy over to me, his mouth twisted.
“This was Ratcliffe, right?” He hissed, shaking our captain, who was struggling, squirming in his grip.
“Did they put something in his drink?!” He prodded Levi. “Hey! What did they do to you?!”
Still, though, drugging his drink didn't make sense.
Levi never left the auditorium, and kept his water bottle with him the whole time.
How did they even manage to slip something into his drink in the first place?
Did I smell our competitors drugging him?
Sure, intentionally inebriating my teammate was morally wrong and illegal, but why could I smell lemon?
“I doubt it was Ratcliffe.” Sunny squeezed next to me. “I've been watching them. They're harmless.”
“Then how the fuck do we explain this to his parents?!” Tom whispered, grappling with Levi, who was fighting to get back to the buzzer.
When Tom let go of him, he dropped onto the floor, crawling over to his podium. It was like watching a child.
Who was determined to piss off the adults.
Levi jumped back to instead feet, his gaze was glued to the host, a smile curved on his lips, when he slammed the buzzer again.
Bzzz!
“Someone, please remove the Starbrooke boy from the stage!”
I was embarrassed, our whole team ducking our heads as our captain was forcibly removed from the podium.
Mr Hanes grabbed Levi, pulling him off of the stage.
I expected our coach to be mad at him, but I think the teacher was more worried, a phone pressed to his ear while he forced the boy into a sitting position.
No, I don't think it's influence from alcohol, I could hear his conversation.
Levi kept trying to get up, mesmerised by the buzzer. The teacher was firm but gentle. “Hey. Sit down, all right? Keep still.” He went back to his phone call, gently prying Levi’s eyes open.
From what I can see, there's nothing wrong. He's just kind of…
Mr Hanes swiped his own hands on his jeans. ... wet?
Team Ratcliffe came over to rub it in our faces, though I was still tuned into our coach’s hissed whispering.
Water? No, I don't think it's water. It smells… no, I haven't told his parents…
“You guys did awesome!” Ponytail's voice was sugary sweet. Too sugary.
She held the 2024 trophy, bearing a satisfied smile. I noticed the Ratcliffe members were surrounding Harry, like guards.
“Better luck next time, okay?” She held out her hand, her eyes twinkling.
“No hard feelings?”
“Control your dog.” Harry said, amused eyes flicking to Levi, who was once again sprinting back to the fucking buzzer. His eyes had visibly darkened, lips curled into a triumphant smile.
Harry Cartwright was watching Mr Hanes chase our team captain like it was his own personal entertainment.
I had to look away before I died of second hand embarrassment.
“What did you put in his drink?” Tom demanded. “Weed? Edibles?” the boy attempted to shove Harry, only to be pushed back. “What the fuck did you do to him?”
Harry’s smile didn't waver. “Like I said. Control your mut.”
When the Ratcliffe team walked away, our red faced coach struggling with Levi, who was behaving progressively more erratically, informed us we were longer welcome inside the school.
Tom suggested calling an ambulance, but our coach was hesitant.
We all knew who Levi’s family were.
On the way out, Tom matched my stride. He was frowning at our team captain struggling to walk.
The way he was acting was already eyebrow raising.
But walking at an angle and being unable to stand up straight was worrying.
“I don't think they drugged his drink.” Tom muttered.
We pushed through the doors out of the school, and I revelled in the cool night air grazing my cheek. “If they did, he would be acting out of it, right? So, what's the deal with him acting like–”
“A child.” I finished for him.
“Yeah.” Tom leaned closer. “Do you think this has something to do with their turf war?”
I slapped at a bug creeping across my cheek.
Levi fell over again, this time bursting into giggles.
“Almost definitely.”
Levi was right about Ratcliffe playing dirty. I didn't realize how dirty until we were on the losers bus home. Levi was in the seat next to me, and the kid hadn't moved since we left Ratcliffe, his eyes wide, lips pulled into a dazed grin.
Bzzz!
The noise startled me from slumber. I was drooling, my head pressed against the window. Outside, the sky was pitch dark, and squinting through the glass, I couldn't get a bearing on where we were. I thought I was hearing things, but when I sat up, I heard it again.
Bzzz!
It was close.
Leaning over the boy, I glimpsed a smear of scarlet on his headrest.
I choked on my next words.
“Tom.”
Tom was in front of me, listening to music.
He didn't reply, his head of dark blonde curls nodding to the beat.
“Levi.” I managed to get out. I prodded him, and his head lolled into his shoulder. “Hey. Can you… sit up?”
Bzzz! Bzzz!
When the boy didn't move, I gently grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forward myself, something contracting in my stomach.
I don't know how long it takes for your mind to fully register something, but my body was already reacting.
Levi’s seat was infested with bugs, eating their way through the upholstery. I was aware of my body moving back. I threw up, instantly, screaming into my hand.
The back of my best friend's skull resembled a deflated soccer ball, what was left of his brain leaking from his skull where a swarm of skittering bugs chewed their way through brain tissue, metallic legs scratching the curved, pearly white of the base if his skull.
Levi’s head hung, his body flopping into mine.
But his eyes were still open, lips still stretched into a smile.
Blood ran in thick rivulets from his nose and ears.
Bzzz!
I could see them, black writhing dots alive in his eyes, wriggling movement under his skin.
“Tom!”
I jumped up, stumbling into the aisle, my stomach heaving.
And it was only when I was on my knees, swiping bile from my lips, when I realized the others weren't reacting.
Tom wasn't moving.
I pulled an Airpod out of his ear, a long, slithering string of pink attached to the end.
There was a stray bug skittering across his hand, his face starting to twitch and writhe.
Moving back, I checked myself over, my hands shaking.
Head.
Shoulders.
Hair.
Clawing through it, my breath was stuck in my throat.
Arms.
Legs.
Feet.
Mr Hanes was slumped against the window, a reddish froth bubbling from his mouth.
Sunny.
I started towards the back of the bus, but all I had to see was her bowed head, half of her skull chewed through.
Sunny was in a far more deteriorated state, her face had been ripped through, a skeletal smile glinting in the dim.
The thick black smear on the window next to her was moving.
When I screamed for the driver to stop the bus, he ignored me.
If anything, he stamped on the gas.
I moved forward to shake him, before glimpsing a bug creeping down his face.
Calling 911, the operator laughed at me.
“Bugs are eating your friends.” He said. “Do you know the penalty for calling with bullshit pranks?”
The bus didn't stop, so I stayed at the front, while the bugs took over the back, eating through my teammates.
After four hours, I risked leaning over the seat next to Tom to check on Levi.
They were eating him.
Chewing all the way through skin, muscle and bone.
I tried to stop the bus, but the driver’s hands were tightly wrapped around the wheel.
Another hour, and blood was seeping down the aisle, crawling with bugs.
Levi was gone, and in his place, a buzzing skittering pile of bugs, that I thought were going to move to a second victim, maybe burrowing into the seats.
But, no.
These things began to tremble, replicating.
Building.
Slowly, nothing became static, and static became muscle.
Then bone.
Then flesh.
When a body began to slowly form, moulded from the dead boy, I stumbled back.
These things weren't eating Levi Costella.
They were rewriting him.
…
Edit: I'm still on the bus. I'm 99.9% sure that I'm infected with whatever this thing is. I can't stop fucking itching.
I keep picking them off me but they won't stop. This bus isn't going to stop until I'm like the others.
…
Edit 2:
I can feel them chewing into my skull. They're in my ears. I keep spitting them out. Please, someone get them off of me. Help me. I don't want to die at 17.
Edit 3:
Still alive. Still breathing. Maybe they're leaving me alone????? I think I'm okay. There is a pile of bugs at my feet, but they're crawling off of me.
Edit 4:
Levi really wants to go home. Like, he just told me he REALLY wants to go home. He's got a gift for his parents.
~~Edit 5 :) ~~
Levi is next to me right now, an odd smile on his face.
The bugs are not finished building him yet, but he'll be ready soon.
We will be ready soon.
Your son says hello! He is a wonderful boy, is he not?
Mr and Mrs Costella, I cannot wait for you to meet him.
He is our greatest achievement, and rest assured, you will give us what we want.
Warm regards.
The Cartwright's.

How is it people go day to day at all? literally, how is 99% of the population not conscious? can you not see? or do you think maybe it is beyond you? it doesn't affect you? its not as bad as it seems? or some other ignorant and delusional psychological self comfort.
surely its not like the movies, and some people observe while others get herded from paddock to paddock, a rare few genius and outliers of all which are Neurodivergent
our world both sputtering and struggling to function and simultaneously being destroyed by neurotypical people.. just consume and steal and take from those who care about detail and precision and perfection.. disgusting..
literal ants sprawling for crumbs, yet no real thought, not even as an individual, no leader, no queen, may as well be a smooth brain koala grasping at leaves even it cannot digest. brain dead apes that just take take take, live in a social hierarchy and invent concepts like "bullying" that make zero sense because we all pretend we don't live in this sick social fuck fest of a game, but we do live here. and everyone just lies fucking willy nilly every second of every single day..
yet people just accept it as so.. how does anything less than perfection ever prosper, how come people want problems, want pain, want misery? and toss it up to "balance" or some other misnomer to make themselves feel better.. how the fuck does youtube videos have soft corners, yet we still make cheap mass produced shit with sharp edges that no one ever buys and gets thrown in the ocean to destroy the very thing that keeps us alive..
EVERY. SINGLE. THING. that gets made. not used, not bought. not sold, IT AFFECTS SOMEONE DOWN THE LINE, all these people "doing their own thing" all these simultaneous problems and projects.. video games for example, we have hundreds of studios making hundreds of shit games, wasted hours, wasted resources, everyone branching off to make their own failures, all because of corporate dried shit sniffers thinking they know everything, feeding the greed machine, when people forget, movies, music, art... these are our god forms, the ONE thing we ACTUALLY have.
otherwise we are just smooth brain fucking animals crawling around in our own literal shit, we are so aware of the microscopic world, yet ignore it until it shuts down our social structure.. fucking idiots... old school systems.. fucked up laws.. governments that lie.. you call yourself an ADULT? how the FUCK did you let this happen?
we live in a bureaucratic world (worst fucking word in the world, both literally and visually, linguistically and literature, fucking awful word.), and just like the word itself, it should not exist AT ALL, governments and rules and laws that make NO sense and only benefit those looking to exploit those who cant think for themselves, steps for steps for steps that lead no where..
yet when it comes to that same logic and reasoning, as an individual, it is illegal, criminal, frowned upon even, and then the average person is so dumbfounded by such a concept it gets laughed into the firey pits of hell where we are all fucking headed anyway
intstead of everything being FAIR and TRACKED and LOGICAL, having laws that MAKE SENSE, we live in a clusterfuck..
every single detail, increment, ownership, every number word and piece of data, ALL should be recorded and traceable to a source
EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, should be accounted for, there should be NO THEFT or MISSING items
for example: DE CRIMINALISE DRUG USE - SOLVES ALL YOUR DRUG PROBLEMS. LESS ADDICTS, LESS DEATHS, LESS CRIME.
BAN CENSORSHIP. ENABLE TRUE FREE SPEECH, BEING OFFENDED IS NOT ALLOWED, NOT EVEN TAUGHT, OFFENCE IS PHASED OUT.
Increase right to repair laws, teach repair and mechanics in schools, change school catchments and also reduce work commutes, create large synchronized communities with a balance or trades and education across well distributed areas, abolish the "central business district"
abolish any and all destructive and parasitic practices, become full sustainable regardless of the cost (no MATTER how expensive self sustainability is FREE in the long run) what don't people understand about this most basic shit...
if you don't want problems.. STOP FUCKING MAKING PROBLEMS.. but that's just it isn't it... people WANT problems.. the average person wants a series of manageable problems they can feel good about on a daily basis..
After 2-3 whole days of using broken software, broken system, shitty bureaucratic rules, waiting for idiots, waiting for technology either to load or to buffer, waiting for something to arrive waiting for THINGS to happen with services that "track" but will straight up just be inaccurate to the point where not knowing would be better..
i've always said, its easier to read a book with no internet collection, and easier to watch a video with a fast one, but with a slow and broken connection, nothing is possible. we live in a society on inescapably broken systems, if they didn't exist, we would be free and happy, if they worked perfectly, we would be free and happy, but instead we CHOOSE to live right in the middle
who the fuck is this world built for...

Hey everyone! It's been a while trotting around the internet parts where we can just chat about nothing. Without dating myself, I miss those old school Yahoo! Chat days, talking about nothing with no one in particular, and letting the time flashby. I'm genuinely interested in just chatting about...whatever! I know that's rather broad, but be it video games, books, or anything in between, I'd love to talk to you guys and make new friends!
If you reply, please let me know your name and age! If you need icebreakers, may I recommend the following:
1) What's your all-time favorite book/TV show/musical artist and why? I know it's a generic question, but it definitely helps to know someone's tastes! 2) What's your favorite food? Similarly, you get to know someone by this answer! 3) What's one random thing you've never told anyone else?

Hi!! So I (24F) graduated university with a double major degree in psychology and biology with plans to attend med school. My aunt (42F) and I never really got along. We clashed during many years of her being a hypocrite with our religion and me leaving said religion and becoming an atheist, what made me block her on everything was because she flushed down my medication and told me to pray and read the Quran. That’s when I told her to never contact me again and blocked her on everything. My cousin (27M) and I never got a long either because he is a sexist pig who still lives at home and makes his mom do everything and didn’t go to college because he said it’s a waste of time and doesn’t even work. So yeah. Here comes the problem. I gotten a graduation party and behold I see them there and I was about to lose it but I bit my tongue and tried to avoid them. I was dancing with my friends when all of a sudden, a slow love song started playing and I was confused and I see my cousin smiling wildly at me and starts walking to me with a bouquet of flowers as my aunt was in the crowd hushing people and recording me with her phone smiling so wide and looked like she was about to cry. And before I could say anything my cousin gave me the flowers and before I could say thanks he got on one knee and told me how Allah brought us together and how I’m so beautiful and reached for his pocket and pulled out a ring and I just lost it I screamed at him to get the fuck up and threw the flower at at him and I walked over to my aunt who’s mad at me because I can see it in her face and I started screaming at her and she started screaming back and my dad had to hold me back and I told him to get them the fuck out and here’s the thing my dad didn’t know it was going to happen my dad is a very weird man but he does not want Me to not get into An arranged or forced marriage as he married a non religious white woman so he knew it would be hypocritical. But my aunt married her cousin and thought I would agree with it. My dad got them to leave and after my partye my phone on Instagram started blowing up and it’s her, her sons including the one I screamed at, and her daughters all telling me I’m such a Bad person and owe them an apology because I embarrassed her and her son. I’m not going to but now she got people in the community to talk shit about me and my family and I’m being called a heartless bitch and asshole so here I am. So Reddit AITA?

M4 looking to finally start getting some help. Been in a bad place for a while.
Most of my issues stem from personal stuff at home. I'm working on it, but it isn't going anywhere anytime soon, but I've been depressed to some extent going back to high school (just didnt realize it until med school).
Already took Step 2, so not worried about effects on studying, but I have an 8 week elective I need to impress on right now, so I need to stay sharp.
1) What side effects did you have and with which meds? I need to stay mentally sharp and want to still be functional in bed (I'm a guy).
2) Where did you get meds? I dont have time to see a psychiatrist consistently or go to an office. I know websites like Hims exist, but I dont trust it and dont want to support companies that are saving $$ on NPs/PAs over real doctors, just out of principal.
3) Did things really get better for y'all on meds?

Hey, my name is Valentin (20). I'm looking for someone to improve my Spanish with (mainly speaking skill) and I'd love to help you with French! I study translation at uni which means I could help with some advanced French grammar, I love languages, traveling, music, learning about different cultures and their history and having nice conversations :)
I'm also trying to revive what's left of my Dutch classes in high school and to learn Portuguese by myself!
Feel free to text me!

Helloo good People, i'm looking for someone to chat with. I'm only interested in normal friends (m or f) because I have a lil crush. I normally respond immediately when I see the message, if not I have something to do. Now to me: I'm Ben, 15, obviously still in school and 186cm/ about 6'2ft tall. My hobbies are basketball, working out, reading and playing video games. I have a Golden Retriever called Meilo, my favorite musicians are Elvis and Frank Sinatra. I like old stuff in general, old music, fashion etc. If all that sounds interesting to you you can dm mee :)

Hi I was looking for some relationship advice.
My partner struggles with his mental health. Before I got sick I was always there for him (2 yrs) and for the past 2 years he's been there for me. I'm on a good path to recovery now but I hadn't been able to support him much for the past while and he's gone through a lot on his own. Lately he's been struggling since he got rejected from med school and has been very closed off. He says he doesn't want to burden me with his issues so it doesn't affect my health and that he needs to be alone.
We both live with our parents and I'm not well enough to drive so I can't go see him and he hasn't come over in weeks. We still talk everyday on the phone at least for a few minutes.
He's not open to counselling. He recently had a bad experience.
I love him very much and want to figure out how I can support him. If anyone has any advice or wants to share any similar experience I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!

Helloo good People, i'm looking for someone to chat with. I'm only interested in normal friends (m or f) because I have a lil crush. I normally respond immediately when I see the message, if not I have something to do. Now to me: I'm Ben, 15, obviously still in school and 186cm/ about 6'2ft tall. My hobbies are basketball, working out, reading and playing video games. I have a Golden Retriever called Meilo, my favorite musicians are Elvis and Frank Sinatra. I like old stuff in general, old music, fashion etc. If all that sounds interesting to you you can dm mee :)

Helloo good People, i'm looking for someone to chat with. I'm only interested in normal friends (m or f) because I have a lil crush. I normally respond immediately when I see the message, if not I have something to do. Now to me: I'm Ben, 15, obviously still in school and 186cm/ about 6'2ft tall. My hobbies are basketball, working out, reading and playing video games. I have a Golden Retriever called Meilo, my favorite musicians are Elvis and Frank Sinatra. I like old stuff in general, old music, fashion etc. If all that sounds interesting to you you can dm mee :)

hi everyone I’m a recent transfer and got into cal and ucsd for public health, waitlisted at ucla 😔💔! i am extremely grateful, however am not sure which I should pick. i’ve always imagined myself in socal but didn’t expect to get into berkeley. don’t want to regret letting go of an opportunity like this. both schools are extremely strong for my major so I’d love to hear your input!
Cal: Public Health B.A. major
Pros: - cheaper than UCSD by 5-7k - name and prestige - Global Poverty Practice (GPP) minor ^ can relate my own practice tailored to public health - 4+1 program (able to get masters in 1 year after undergrad, if i get accepted) - location! also has a joint program w UCSF - connections (great for networking and have multiple doctors I can shadow and gain experience from) - a lot of public health grads are able to land a job before they graduate - has a children’s hospital nearby (want to do pediatrics in the future) - research is great - feel like this school would rlly challenge me and make me grow - more premeds get into medical school - “feeder” school for UCSF, most students also go to UCLA for med Cons: - gloomy weather bc of bay - close to home - grade deflation - worried I won’t have a high enough GPA to apply to med school - no med school on campus - academic environment - housing prices are expensive 😭 - safety (as a girl) - anchor housing is 2k with no meal plan (i think) - i’m taking a summer class which is on quarter system and cal starts on a semester system
UCSD: Public Health with Concentration in Medicine Science
Pros: - la jolla! great location and would feel relaxed going to the school - nicer weather - 3 hospitals on campus and many other facilities - easier on GPA - amazing for premeds - tution is expensive - far from home - people are more friendly - safer than cal ? - research is great - feeder school for ucsd med ?
Cons: - ucsd use to be my dream school but it changed to ucla - not really sure if i’ll feel challenged enough to grow academically - housing crisis? - not too sure if sd is my vibe - heard it’s socially dead - heard their public health program is less premed and more health

I’m getting back into music after a while, and been thinking of getting a cheap bass.
I used to play double bass in middle school before moving away to a school that didn’t have orchestra, and I’ve always kinda missed it.
I picked up a cheap acoustic bass guitar and have been having fun noodling around, and my kids only kind of climb all over it while I’m practicing, so I’m actually surprised how much I’m remembering from my orchestra days.
So I’ve been looking at my budget and feel like I can probably afford to buy something in the $500-700 range. Nothing great, I know, but I only really expect to be playing with family or maybe coworkers.
That said, I have a decision to make. I know I can find a used plywood for around that price range if I keep my eyes open. I’ve seen them before. I know I can also get like… a used Stagg EUB for that price range.
In the plywood plus column… you get the real wood tone and volume. Don’t need an amp ever. Will have the same technique if I ever get to the point I decide to upgrade. Plywood minus column: it’s pretty large for the space I have available, particularly the space I have available where I would trust my kids not to mess with it when I’m not looking. I don’t want peas poured into my f-holes or otherwise get crayon scribbles or who-knows-what happening to it, let alone the risk that it just accidentally gets knocked over due to kids roughhousing. Hard to transport, given my car pretty much always has car seats in it.
EUB on the other hand… sound is wrong from what I’ve heard, but not sure how much I care about that yet. I’d be much more easily to store it in a safe place though, and much more easily transported without disassembling car seats. Technique is different from standard upright? Not sure how different. From what I’ve read bowing typically sounds awful too.
I also have a third option: blowing the money on materials and buying a neck and fingerboard off Ali express and building my own hybrid hollow body EUB.
Thoughts?

I've always found it hard to get good at anything and I feel like I have no natural talent for any skill. The thing I was best at was playing saxophone in high school and that was because I had years of practice and would rehearse like 3 pieces for months on end. Even then I would make mistakes in the concert. I feel like my skill ceiling for anything is lower than the average person. I tried learning bass for months and got stuck on one lack that I simply couldn't get down. It really makes me feel like no matter how much I practice I'll never become a master in my field. I seem to be halfway decent at cooking but only when I follow recipes and have trouble coming up with creative dishes from scratch. I'm planning on attending cooking school this fall and I hope it helps me work on this aspect but I'm afraid I won't be good enough. I feel like my intellectual capacity is being blunted by the disorder and my meds. Has anyone struggled with something similar and have any of you had breakthrough moments where you found yourself good at something?

hi everyone I’m a recent transfer and got into cal and ucsd for public health, waitlisted at ucla 😔💔! i am extremely grateful, however am not sure which I should pick. i’ve always imagined myself in socal but didn’t expect to get into berkeley. don’t want to regret letting go of an opportunity like this. both schools are extremely strong for my major so I’d love to hear your input!
Cal: Public Health B.A. major
Pros: - cheaper than UCSD by 5-7k - name and prestige - Global Poverty Practice (GPP) minor ^ can relate my own practice tailored to public health - 4+1 program (able to get masters in 1 year after undergrad, if i get accepted) - location! also has a joint program w UCSF - connections (great for networking and have multiple doctors I can shadow and gain experience from) - a lot of public health grads are able to land a job before they graduate - has a children’s hospital nearby (want to do pediatrics in the future) - research is great - feel like this school would rlly challenge me and make me grow
Cons: - gloomy weather bc of bay - close to home - grade deflation - worried I won’t have a high enough GPA to apply to med school - no med school on campus - academic environment - housing prices are expensive 😭 - safety (as a girl) - anchor housing is 2k with no meal plan (i think) - i’m taking a summer class which is on quarter system and cal starts on a semester system - more premeds get into medical school - “feeder” for UCSF, most students also go to UCLA med
UCSD: Public Health with Concentration in Medicine Science
Pros: - la jolla! great location and would feel relaxed going to the school - nicer weather - 3 hospitals on campus and many other facilities - easier on GPA - amazing for premeds - tution is expensive - far from home - people are more friendly - safer than cal ? - research is great - feeder school for ucsd med ?
Cons: - ucsd use to be my dream school but it changed to ucla - not really sure if i’ll feel challenged enough to grow academically - housing crisis? - not too sure if sd is my vibe - heard it’s harder to have a social life - heard their public health program is less premed and more health - dining hall food is bad, not too sure about places around ucsd

Prologue

Hello and welcome to my post. I will subdivide this into two large parts. One will cover my thoughts, feelings, my hopes and dreams...While the other will tell you the specifics of how I pass the time, what topics interest me, what passions do I posses. I believe that at the end of this leap into my inner world, you dear reader, will have all the necessary information to judge whether we are compatible or not.

Part I
I am writing this in the hopes of finding something that I lack. Lately I have had this feeling, this tinge of melancholy within the dephts of my being, this yearning to find a kindred spirit, another Soul, much like mine, to form a bond with. Perhaps Loneliness is the right word for what is bothering me, but to use it seems to carry with it a connotation of ungratefulness. Ungratefulness for the people that I do have in my life, although none of them, of course, have the connection to me that I seek here.

I have found it increasingly necessary to seek in this Life a sort of purity of thought. What I mean is, I have began to undestand what ideas and concepts are ultimately compatible with my inner most Self, ergo what guidelines I have to follow to feel the most whole. Naturally I have likewise realised what I cannot add to my Self and what I will henceforth reject with all the power that I posses.

With this new context in mind, I now follow on the path of self improvement. I will now begin to mold my Self into my perfected idea of how the Self should be. This is certainly a significant undertaking, one that will not be easy to follow through on but one that I ultimately have to do. To me such context is essential. It is akin to a Guiding Star shining in the night. I will follow this Star for without it I am lost in the vast Darkness.

Looking back at my life, it was suboptimal, especially if one compares the way it molded me to how I will now mold myself. I suppose I must look on with a hint of regret at all that time which one might consider to be lost. Still... I try to stave off such decisively negative interpretations, after all, I have ultimately came to these conclusions. That means that somewhere along the line I had to have picked up on enough of such ideas for them to become so cemented in my consciousness. Well, either that or I was always like this, but in that case I can at least thank my life up to this point for not being able to supress such manifestations of my inner most Self.

To add to the topic of my life, I must admit that not all the battles have yet been won, not all the Demons vanquished, not every Mountain climbed. I want you to keep such things in mind when deciding whether or not to approach me. Many will shy away, I undestand that much, but the pursuit of true Companionship is just another such battle. Having said all that I do believe that being able to overcome hurdles together carries with it a certain appeal. That is to say, what's the fun in joining once the Game is already over?

I don't shy away from such challenges, perhaps to a fault. Certain troubles that I faced in the past carry with them a long shadow over my current health and well being. Still, I intend to change little in this regard other than the proficiency with which I will clash the current of my Will against the cliffs of Life.
Part II
In this part of my post I will tell you about my interests and hobbies, I will try to be thorough, commonality in this regard is rather important to build a relationship
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Esotericism. I am interested in things spiritual, mystical, magical and esoteric. I have read religios texts, magical grimoires, introductions to various schools of thought. It is interesting to me.
Epilogue
Hopefully I was able to cast the spotlight upon my inner World in a clear and unequivocal manner. I feel the need to add to the aforementioned that I am rather introverted, which means that I tend to dislike large social gatherings. I managed to condition myself to be able to endure the presense of large groups of people but it isn't something that I would seek out in most cases. Besides that I am neurodivergent and suffer from certain issues with mental health. I have to take medication to keep myself under control. They work well enough but certain days are harder than others. I respect the struggle that others have with mental health but in the context of a relationship I have my limits, no one with BDP for instance. I am also not looking for anything casual. I understand than one cannot demand depth and meaning from a conversation with an absolute stranger, that is akin to trying to build a sand castle right before the waves strike but I ask at least that you enter with a mindset that this might become something of significance. I also do want to say that I am completely Monogamous. My preference? The sickly, pale, intellectual who watches rain droplets slide down the window in Autumn. Lastly, if I enjoy the company of a person I tend to not want to let them go.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and have a good day. I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and that you give your thoughts on my title in the opening of your message.
Goodbye...Or perhaps untill we meet again

Hey! Im a 24 year old man from Nebraska looking for a relationship! Id love to find someone i can discord call and game or even just spend some time together! Im a bit awkward so it can be kind of hard to keep a conversation going but I do my best
If you're just going to ghost me please dont bother. It's bad for my heart
I am white and a bit overweight but i started going to the gym so im working on it :). I have purple hair past my shoulders and I am around 6 foot tall. Willing to trade photos upon request.
I'm a big gamer and i mostly play overwatch and valorant (Maybe we could duo 🥺👉👈), but i own a bunch of other single and multiplayer games. When im not doing school stuff or working im probably gaming, watching anime/reading manga, or listening to music. I love to sing watch musicals and hang with my cat as well. Im also happy to trade pet photos!
I'd love if you were into games and anime but it's not necessarily a dealbreaker. Im a pretty open guy and willing to talk with anybody and see if we vibe. I love being a bit clingy and messaging/flirting a bunch so i hope ur into that.
So go ahead and shoot me a message. Tell me your favorite animal if you made it this far.
Looking forward to hearing from you ❤️