Sad love quotes in hindi
Found Pieces of Paper
2014.05.01 01:56 J0j2 Found Pieces of Paper
Photographs of found pieces of paper with writing on them, photographs or discarded cutouts. Appreciate the forgotten artifacts of everyday life. Share any paper that you found (on the ground, stuck in some bushes or between cans of soup at the store for example) and you do not know who wrote it. Love letters, doodles, interesting to-do or grocery lists, notes from the past - share your discovery with us!
2019.01.18 20:18 forgottenfeels DepressingQuotes
Sad/depressing quotes in almost any form.
2019.08.07 09:41 ArchitecturalRevival
This sub is dedicated to the appreciation of traditional architecture, with a view to increasing the appetite for architectural revival. Posts should be of old and new buildings in a traditionalist style. Please read the rules before posting.
2024.05.14 09:54 aspirer_ Problemadong Teenager
Hello, gusto ko na lang talagang ilabas 'to kasi hirap na hirap na talaga ako. Please suggest some things that I can do to lessen my problems, pero sana hindi masyadong harsh hehe.
I'm 18 years old and pakiramdam ko sa lahat ng parte ng buhay may problema ako. Dapat 1st year na ako ngayong AY and turning second year next sem, pero I dropped out first sem pa lang ng freshman year ko. Sinabi ko sa family ko na ittry kong mag-aral mag-code/program (since yung kinuha kong course is Computer Science) and bigyan lang nila akong 1 year, pag nag fail mag-eenroll ako ngayong year. And yun na nga, nag-fail. Wala akong idea sa coding/programming and hindi ako masyadong interested doon, gusto kong makakuha ng IT related knowledge kasi yun ang in-demand ngayon at hindi kami mayaman kaya kailangan kong maging wais sa pagdedesisyon sa buhay. Pero ngayon parang lalo ko pang pinalala ang sitwasyon ko, I tried mag apply sa ibang univs as freshman pero hindi pala ako pwedeng matanggap dahil nakapag-enroll na ako last yr sa ibang school and kailangan tranferee na ako. Kailangan kong makuha yung documents ko sa dating school and malaki yung babayaran. Sinabi ng mga magulang ko na kunin na yung documents at bayaran na lang namin yung balance sa school pero naaawa na talaga ako sa kanila, alam kong pinaghirapan nila yung pera pero parang mawawala lang ng ganon dahil sa mga maling desisyon ko sa buhay. Nag enroll ako sa univ na yon dahil tutulungan kami ng mga pinsan ko (mother's side) sa tuition fee and sa allowance.
Pero here's the real reason why I dropped out of college: - I was pressured, since maraming nag-papaaral sa'kin ang dami kong tao na kinoconsider bago ako makapag desisyon, and I overthink a LOT. - add ko pa rito na I applied for scholarships tapos lagi akong tinatanong kung nakapasa ba ako, sobrang tagal ng resulta and may scholarship na nag-release ng result tapos hindi ako nakapasa so lalo pa akong na-down. (may isang scholarship na nakapasa ako pero too late because nag-drop out na ako when they released the passers.) - medyo strict din yung mga pinsan ko na nagpapaaral sa'kin so medyo napressure din ako don, and they're pretty successful people so yon. - I was shocked, sobrang laking adjustment para sa akin dahil mula elementary - senior high school ay sa lugar lang namin ako nag-aral then biglang nag Manila ako. Nag-adjust rin ako sa environment, kasi sa bahay na ako ng mga pinsan ko nakatira and sobrang nahihiya akong kumilos, tinutulungan na nila ako financially tapos sila pa nag-aasikaso sa akin. - Friends & cousins (not the ones that are helping me, father's side), nung nakapasa ako sa univ na yon my friends and cousins weren't that happy for me, they were asking kung dun na ba ako mag-aaral and all. Ayokong sabihin yung tuition fee sa mga pinsan ko pero nasabi ng nanay ko sa tita ko because natanong sya on the spot so nasabi nya and nalaman ng mga pinsan ko, tapos nung nalaman nila they acted na parang papahirapan ko mga magulang ko (kasi di nga kami mayaman and di namin afford) and they were telling me na gusto ko lang kaya ako papapasukin doon, when in reality gusto ko rin naman talaga pero gusto rin akong ipasok ng mga magulang at mga pinsan ko (mother's side) sa maayos na school.
Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Gusto kong kausapin yung mga magulang at mga pinsan ko na bigyan ulit ako ng chance na pag-aralin ako at dun ulit sa univ na yon (bc baka mahirapan na akong lumipat) pero hindi ko alam kung papayag pa sila because na-disappoint ko na sila. Sobrang naappreciate ko pa rin talaga silang lahat kasi nung nagdecide na akong ganon hindi nila ako pinagsalitaan ng masama, they even tried things para mas maging magaan yung loob ko kasi lumalayo na ako sa lahat at that time. Sobrang hirap para sa akin kasi pakiramdam ko sinayang ko lang yung pag-aaral ko nang mabuti mula elem - shs, alam ko naman rin na hindi ako tanga pero parang naging ganon na ngayon yung tingin ko sa sarili ko, lol.
I deleted my socmeds when I dropped out, wala akong na akong connections sa lahat ng mga kaibigan ko for the past 8 months.
May nangyayari pang gulo sa pamilya namin ngayon so mas lalo akong nahihirapan pero hindi na ako magdedetail sa part na to.
And I'm also broken hearted rn haha, my ex who is also my best friend is now out of my life. Malaki rin yung naging parte nya sa buhay ko because we've known each other for around 6 years. Ayoko na rin idetalye to kasi baka mabasa nya, gusto ko na lang rin syang hayaan kasi may iba na na nagpapasaya sa kanya. Salamat pa rin sa kanya.
Kailangan ko lang talagang mafigure out yung gagawin ko para makabalik sa pag-aaral kasi nung yun pa lang yung problema ko sobrang sakit na sa ulo, tapos habang tumatakbo yung oras lalo lang nadagdagan yung mga problema.
Sorry pero hirap na hirap na ako, araw-araw na iyakan, sleepless nights, at ngayon hindi na ako makakain kahit ako yung tipo ng tao who loves to eat, lol. Naaawa na rin ako sa nanay ko kasi laging kaming dalawa lang ang magkasama and siya yung nakakasaksi ng mga pag-iyak at panghihina ko. I'm even considering na tapusin na lahat ng paghihirap na to kasi hindi ko naman alam kung worth it ba talaga, kung may liwanag ba talaga at the end of the tunnel. Pero iniisip ko rin na sobrang laki ng mundo, bilyong-bilyong tao ang walang pakialam kung mawawala ako ngayon kaya gusto ko na lang rin sanang maranasan kung paano maging successful at maranasan maging totoong masaya.
Pasensya na po wala na akong ibang mapagsabihan, nakakatakot na rin magtiwala at magsabi sa iba, at least dito anonymous haha.
submitted by aspirer_ to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]
I'm 18 years old and pakiramdam ko sa lahat ng parte ng buhay may problema ako. Dapat 1st year na ako ngayong AY and turning second year next sem, pero I dropped out first sem pa lang ng freshman year ko. Sinabi ko sa family ko na ittry kong mag-aral mag-code/program (since yung kinuha kong course is Computer Science) and bigyan lang nila akong 1 year, pag nag fail mag-eenroll ako ngayong year. And yun na nga, nag-fail. Wala akong idea sa coding/programming and hindi ako masyadong interested doon, gusto kong makakuha ng IT related knowledge kasi yun ang in-demand ngayon at hindi kami mayaman kaya kailangan kong maging wais sa pagdedesisyon sa buhay. Pero ngayon parang lalo ko pang pinalala ang sitwasyon ko, I tried mag apply sa ibang univs as freshman pero hindi pala ako pwedeng matanggap dahil nakapag-enroll na ako last yr sa ibang school and kailangan tranferee na ako. Kailangan kong makuha yung documents ko sa dating school and malaki yung babayaran. Sinabi ng mga magulang ko na kunin na yung documents at bayaran na lang namin yung balance sa school pero naaawa na talaga ako sa kanila, alam kong pinaghirapan nila yung pera pero parang mawawala lang ng ganon dahil sa mga maling desisyon ko sa buhay. Nag enroll ako sa univ na yon dahil tutulungan kami ng mga pinsan ko (mother's side) sa tuition fee and sa allowance.
Pero here's the real reason why I dropped out of college: - I was pressured, since maraming nag-papaaral sa'kin ang dami kong tao na kinoconsider bago ako makapag desisyon, and I overthink a LOT. - add ko pa rito na I applied for scholarships tapos lagi akong tinatanong kung nakapasa ba ako, sobrang tagal ng resulta and may scholarship na nag-release ng result tapos hindi ako nakapasa so lalo pa akong na-down. (may isang scholarship na nakapasa ako pero too late because nag-drop out na ako when they released the passers.) - medyo strict din yung mga pinsan ko na nagpapaaral sa'kin so medyo napressure din ako don, and they're pretty successful people so yon. - I was shocked, sobrang laking adjustment para sa akin dahil mula elementary - senior high school ay sa lugar lang namin ako nag-aral then biglang nag Manila ako. Nag-adjust rin ako sa environment, kasi sa bahay na ako ng mga pinsan ko nakatira and sobrang nahihiya akong kumilos, tinutulungan na nila ako financially tapos sila pa nag-aasikaso sa akin. - Friends & cousins (not the ones that are helping me, father's side), nung nakapasa ako sa univ na yon my friends and cousins weren't that happy for me, they were asking kung dun na ba ako mag-aaral and all. Ayokong sabihin yung tuition fee sa mga pinsan ko pero nasabi ng nanay ko sa tita ko because natanong sya on the spot so nasabi nya and nalaman ng mga pinsan ko, tapos nung nalaman nila they acted na parang papahirapan ko mga magulang ko (kasi di nga kami mayaman and di namin afford) and they were telling me na gusto ko lang kaya ako papapasukin doon, when in reality gusto ko rin naman talaga pero gusto rin akong ipasok ng mga magulang at mga pinsan ko (mother's side) sa maayos na school.
Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Gusto kong kausapin yung mga magulang at mga pinsan ko na bigyan ulit ako ng chance na pag-aralin ako at dun ulit sa univ na yon (bc baka mahirapan na akong lumipat) pero hindi ko alam kung papayag pa sila because na-disappoint ko na sila. Sobrang naappreciate ko pa rin talaga silang lahat kasi nung nagdecide na akong ganon hindi nila ako pinagsalitaan ng masama, they even tried things para mas maging magaan yung loob ko kasi lumalayo na ako sa lahat at that time. Sobrang hirap para sa akin kasi pakiramdam ko sinayang ko lang yung pag-aaral ko nang mabuti mula elem - shs, alam ko naman rin na hindi ako tanga pero parang naging ganon na ngayon yung tingin ko sa sarili ko, lol.
I deleted my socmeds when I dropped out, wala akong na akong connections sa lahat ng mga kaibigan ko for the past 8 months.
May nangyayari pang gulo sa pamilya namin ngayon so mas lalo akong nahihirapan pero hindi na ako magdedetail sa part na to.
And I'm also broken hearted rn haha, my ex who is also my best friend is now out of my life. Malaki rin yung naging parte nya sa buhay ko because we've known each other for around 6 years. Ayoko na rin idetalye to kasi baka mabasa nya, gusto ko na lang rin syang hayaan kasi may iba na na nagpapasaya sa kanya. Salamat pa rin sa kanya.
Kailangan ko lang talagang mafigure out yung gagawin ko para makabalik sa pag-aaral kasi nung yun pa lang yung problema ko sobrang sakit na sa ulo, tapos habang tumatakbo yung oras lalo lang nadagdagan yung mga problema.
Sorry pero hirap na hirap na ako, araw-araw na iyakan, sleepless nights, at ngayon hindi na ako makakain kahit ako yung tipo ng tao who loves to eat, lol. Naaawa na rin ako sa nanay ko kasi laging kaming dalawa lang ang magkasama and siya yung nakakasaksi ng mga pag-iyak at panghihina ko. I'm even considering na tapusin na lahat ng paghihirap na to kasi hindi ko naman alam kung worth it ba talaga, kung may liwanag ba talaga at the end of the tunnel. Pero iniisip ko rin na sobrang laki ng mundo, bilyong-bilyong tao ang walang pakialam kung mawawala ako ngayon kaya gusto ko na lang rin sanang maranasan kung paano maging successful at maranasan maging totoong masaya.
Pasensya na po wala na akong ibang mapagsabihan, nakakatakot na rin magtiwala at magsabi sa iba, at least dito anonymous haha.
2024.05.14 09:53 Tough-Structure-1072 What Disney never told you
It was said. There is no going back now. The damage was done. All the promises made. The time spent in each others arms. The late night movies, the good morning calls. All of it. Gone. The words can’t be unsaid. The hurt can’t be unfelt. The wound can’t be sewn. You were my everything. I would have gone through so much hurt to shield you from the pain that was right in front of you. I did. But the words are out now. I tried so hard for so long to pretend it didn’t hurt. I tried to pretend like it wasn’t eating away at me inside. I wanted you but there was no you without her. The life I was waiting for was nothing but a fairy tale, told to a child who didn’t understand how she could love someone so intensely and it still not be enough. Kids grow up on Disney movies. That’s the first view into “true love” they have. There are hard times but in the end everything works out for love. For true love. Disney fucking lied. And this is no fairy tale. Reality isn’t so pretty and it isn’t wrapped up in a nice little bow. He was Prince Charming. He was intelligent, gorgeous, and the perfect gentleman. He cared about you, was there for you, loved you. He was everything you had ever hoped for. He was perfect. But here’s the part Disney doesn’t show you. He got comfortable. He stopped trying as hard. As time went on and things became tougher, he wasn’t your Prince Charming anymore. He doesn’t show you the same care. The same interest. The same intensity of love and longing and passion. The late night movies stop. The good morning calls stop. The fire he once had in his eyes for you stop. Life has beaten him down and down and down until he had no fight left to give. A piece of him died. And it took the best piece of you with it. Broken, depressed, scared, sad, confused, on how something so beautiful could cut so god damn deep. But he’s not all gone. That love remains. The embers are still there. A glimpse of who he was, who you were, who they were. Just enough to hold on. Hold on and pray that those days would come back. That one day you would open your eyes and he was there. Just as loving. Just as caring. Just as perfect as he once was. Your Prince Charming had come home. But this isn’t a fairy tale. Those pieces are gone and that little girl is devastated. Crying on the floor left wondering why, WHY? Why? But there’s no going back now. The damage is done. The fighting has stopped. It’s over. It’s really over. He’s gone.
submitted by Tough-Structure-1072 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 09:53 Ok_Area9367 What time period would you have liked to have seen our main vampires in?
Spike's quote about Woodstock in 'School Hard' made me think of this.
What time period that we didn't see in BtVS or Angel would you be curious to see Angel/Angelus, Darla, Drusilla or Spike in? Or any other character who lived through multiple generations?
Personally, I would've loved to have seen Spike in the late 1960s or early 1970s. I need to see the first time he heard punk music.
I think Drusilla in the 1920s would've been cool.
submitted by Ok_Area9367 to buffy [link] [comments]
What time period that we didn't see in BtVS or Angel would you be curious to see Angel/Angelus, Darla, Drusilla or Spike in? Or any other character who lived through multiple generations?
Personally, I would've loved to have seen Spike in the late 1960s or early 1970s. I need to see the first time he heard punk music.
I think Drusilla in the 1920s would've been cool.
2024.05.14 09:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 09:51 Tough-Structure-1072 What Disney never told you
It was said. There is no going back now. The damage was done. All the promises made. The time spent in each others arms. The late night movies, the good morning calls. All of it. Gone. The words can’t be unsaid. The hurt can’t be unfelt. The wound can’t be sewn. You were my everything. I would have gone through so much hurt to shield you from the pain that was right in front of you. I did. But the words are out now. I tried so hard for so long to pretend it didn’t hurt. I tried to pretend like it wasn’t eating away at me inside. I wanted you but there was no you without her. The life I was waiting for was nothing but a fairy tale, told to a child who didn’t understand how she could love someone so intensely and it still not be enough. Kids grow up on Disney movies. That’s the first view into “true love” they have. There are hard times but in the end everything works out for love. For true love. Disney fucking lied. And this is no fairy tale. Reality isn’t so pretty and it isn’t wrapped up in a nice little bow. He was Prince Charming. He was intelligent, gorgeous, and the perfect gentleman. He cared about you, was there for you, loved you. He was everything you had ever hoped for. He was perfect. But here’s the part Disney doesn’t show you. He got comfortable. He stopped trying as hard. As time went on and things became tougher, he wasn’t your Prince Charming anymore. He doesn’t show you the same care. The same interest. The same intensity of love and longing and passion. The late night movies stop. The good morning calls stop. The fire he once had in his eyes for you stop. Life has beaten him down and down and down until he had no fight left to give. A piece of him died. And it took the best piece of you with it. Broken, depressed, scared, sad, confused, on how something so beautiful could cut so god damn deep. But he’s not all gone. That love remains. The embers are still there. A glimpse of who he was, who you were, who they were. Just enough to hold on. Hold on and pray that those days would come back. That one day you would open your eyes and he was there. Just as loving. Just as caring. Just as perfect as he once was. Your Prince Charming had come home. But this isn’t a fairy tale. Those pieces are gone and that little girl is devastated. Crying on the floor left wondering why, WHY? Why? But there’s no going back now. The damage is done. The fighting has stopped. It’s over. It’s really over. He’s gone.
submitted by Tough-Structure-1072 to heartbreak [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 09:51 WhoTookKifford Farewell my love
Everything you did was always out of your control. You never held yourself accountable for your own actions. Maybe it was "a bad day" or "you were was so stressed that you forgot" but in 3 years I only ever got a decent apology once for you constantly screaming at me during our arguments. Your mother is a raging narcissist so you didn't even want me to usher the word in your presence. Everytime you hurt me and I asked you to change the things that made me feel small you always ended with "I don't want to promise you because I'm not sure I won't do it again and it will only hurt you more " knowing damn well that I would rather hear you promise me and see you fail trying instead of not even committing to it in the first place. It always made me feel like you were still trying to give yourself an excuse again when you did the same shit over and over again. You often said "You can't expect me to change over night, it takes time" even when I asked you for small things like hanging up my towel after showering because you put yours on the drying rack and mine crumbled up on the washing machine. You don't need weeks to show consideration for other when your brain works in a normal way that understands affection and appreciation. When I was down or annoyed because you treated me bad it was always me who apparently didn't have his emotions under control. Everytime you did something wrong or selfish it was always my fault. You often said things like "I was afraid how you would react so I got scared and stressed" so I had to apolizige to you for your own behaviour. For 3 years I always apologized, got more angry, aggressive and turned into a person I wouldn't even want to have around myself. Your friends tell you I'm being overdramatic and crazy because you never tells them how unappreciated you made me feel. You only mention the things that triggered me at specific moments and downplayed them because without context they didn't seem that grand. You never had anyone als close as me in your life who would see the real you, relied on you and would hold you accountable for your own actions. Most of your friendships are just texting every few days, talking over discord every few weeks or meeting up with a different person out of a pool of 20 twice a week to go to Burger King. Every time it came up you started crying and screaming that these people are your family. When we talked about things that hurt me you always cried to try to somehow end the conversation and when I mentioned the things at a later time you accused me of "Starting over again" because in your mind the topic was finished. Because my feelings didn't matter and your promise to maybe do better should be enough for me. You didn't care how anxious and lonely it made me feel. You always acted as if you considered my feelings but your actions showed otherwise. At first I was sad that you replaced me in only a week but it isn't love. You want to fill the void because you are an empty husk. You have a crush on someone who has had the same trans experience as you and are a slave to your own hormones because of the testosterone indunced puberty. I feel sorry for him because you are going to hurt him as well. You can't think of others and will never be able to have genuine relationships. A lot of selfishs acts were excused by your need for polyamory and how you can love multiple people at once when you couldn't even commit to a single person to begin with. When you were broken and alone I build you up and and supported you without any conditions. Now that you broke me I get tossed aside. During the first year I couldn't even be alone for one hour a day to decompress because it made you feel rejected and alone even when you knew damn well about my ADHD induced sensory overload and hoe important it was for my mental health. My feelings didn't matter because you drowned them out with your crying and loneliness. I was foolish enough to let you. I feel genuinely sorry for you because you think you are a good person but you won't even consider your own illness because of your childhood trauma. Your own therapist isn't going to considering narcissisn because you twists your own memories into a way that fits your current feelings so you will never get the help you need and be held accountable for your own actions. How often did I hear that your friends think I'm making it all up but how would these people ever see the real you when your interactions are limited to talking on discord every few weeks, them staying over once every 3 months to go out for partying or you going to burger king to chat with them for a few hours once a month. You told me a lot of people considered you to be their best friend in the past but all you connections are shallow and artifical. Otherwise you wouldn't have broken down the second I gave you genuine affection on our third date for the first time in your life. How often did I make breakfast in bed, did your laundry, bought your groceries or picked you up from work as a surprise without you even asking and you never tried the same for me because "I just don't think of those things". You would rather stay in bed till 14:00 to watch YouTube Shorts ehome I was at worn. I gave too much for to little. I wake up in the morning with burning skin and a pressure on my chest that leaves me breathless because I imagine you with him but it will pass. Your selfishness won't. I hope you get the help you need. Goodbye.
submitted by WhoTookKifford to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 09:44 shaneka69 LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024
LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 09:39 NorthUsername Do you ever recover after losing a soulmate? Please share your experience
My STBXW (30F) left me (35M) 1.5 months ago. We have been together for 6.5 years. No kids.
Our marriage didn't start as a fairy tale, but it kept improving for the first 5.5 years.
There was no cheating, physical or substance abuse.
We were very compatible on so many levels. Never got bored of each other, never ran out of things to talk about. Laughed a lot. Going through lockdown was a breeze, since we both really enjoyed spending time together. We were best friends, true soulmates.
I was confident and secure that this bond would last a lifetime... I knew in my heart, that I would never break it. But it didn't last a lifetime. This loss of innocence is very traumatic, I don't know how to trust someone again after a deep rejection like that.
We had different views and priorities in life, which was always a source of conflict, and both of us were really stubborn.
I can't say for sure, but I think that I was a good husband. Although maybe I wasn't, since good husbands don't get abandoned. I don't drink or smoke. I earned a pretty good salary, kept in shape, always supported her career beginnings, paid for food/going out/bills/rent all those years, always had time for her and for us, found and planned new activities for us. House chores, except cooking, were equally divided. I definitely wasn't perfect and there are many things that I wish I could have done better, especially in the last year or so.
We started arguing A LOT. After about 4-5 months, serious divorce talks started, and after another 2, she completely checked out and left. I pleaded, I begged, but that just convinced her of making the right choice and made it worse. I later realized that she has grieved the relationship in those months of arguing. We both hurt each other so much mentally during that time. I can't forgive myself. It's sad how many men only see the real problems when it is too late. 80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. I really saw what our problems were when she left, I tried discussing it, promising to change, which I really meant. But it was "too little, too late".
I feel so much guilt and shame. Received a lot of support from friends and family which I didn't expect.
After she left, she liked my FB posts and we chatted for two weeks. Then it quickly dried down to divorce proceedings. She blames me for destroying our relationship and ruining everything and says that she is the victim here. Maybe she is right? I'm so devastated that I think she is probably right. The only concern is that right before all that arguing started, she read about 5 books on "toxic relationships", "narcissists", "abusers", etc.
And in the last 2 months before leaving, she was reading a book "Why men love bit**es".
It's been 1.5 months now, and all I can think about for 90% of the day is her. I deeply feel that I will never find someone like her again. The though of death is on my mind every other day. If it wasn't for my mother, I would probably end it. Signed up for therapy in two days, it's going to be my first time.
I keep asking everyone for a recovery timeline, but everyone just says "that's very individual". The most common answer seems to be 6-18 months of this purgatory. Cried literally 10 times yesterday, and twice today already. I just don't know how to move on, and most importantly, I see no reason to move on, except to save my mother from the pain of seeing me suffer and fail at life.
Please, can you share your experiences? Have you really, truly considered someone your soulmate, your best friend, and then moved on? How long will I be in this purgatory? I do remember that I was sometimes unhappy in those years. But isn't everyone on some level, occasionally unhappy in a marriage? We don't live in a fairy tale, and that's normal, right? How do I know if I am putting her on a pedestal? Sorry for so many questions.
I still consider her a good person and wish her well, although I am devastated that she left me when I felt in my heart that we would overcome anything and I would never ever abandon her.
submitted by NorthUsername to Divorce [link] [comments]
Our marriage didn't start as a fairy tale, but it kept improving for the first 5.5 years.
There was no cheating, physical or substance abuse.
We were very compatible on so many levels. Never got bored of each other, never ran out of things to talk about. Laughed a lot. Going through lockdown was a breeze, since we both really enjoyed spending time together. We were best friends, true soulmates.
I was confident and secure that this bond would last a lifetime... I knew in my heart, that I would never break it. But it didn't last a lifetime. This loss of innocence is very traumatic, I don't know how to trust someone again after a deep rejection like that.
We had different views and priorities in life, which was always a source of conflict, and both of us were really stubborn.
I can't say for sure, but I think that I was a good husband. Although maybe I wasn't, since good husbands don't get abandoned. I don't drink or smoke. I earned a pretty good salary, kept in shape, always supported her career beginnings, paid for food/going out/bills/rent all those years, always had time for her and for us, found and planned new activities for us. House chores, except cooking, were equally divided. I definitely wasn't perfect and there are many things that I wish I could have done better, especially in the last year or so.
We started arguing A LOT. After about 4-5 months, serious divorce talks started, and after another 2, she completely checked out and left. I pleaded, I begged, but that just convinced her of making the right choice and made it worse. I later realized that she has grieved the relationship in those months of arguing. We both hurt each other so much mentally during that time. I can't forgive myself. It's sad how many men only see the real problems when it is too late. 80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. I really saw what our problems were when she left, I tried discussing it, promising to change, which I really meant. But it was "too little, too late".
I feel so much guilt and shame. Received a lot of support from friends and family which I didn't expect.
After she left, she liked my FB posts and we chatted for two weeks. Then it quickly dried down to divorce proceedings. She blames me for destroying our relationship and ruining everything and says that she is the victim here. Maybe she is right? I'm so devastated that I think she is probably right. The only concern is that right before all that arguing started, she read about 5 books on "toxic relationships", "narcissists", "abusers", etc.
And in the last 2 months before leaving, she was reading a book "Why men love bit**es".
It's been 1.5 months now, and all I can think about for 90% of the day is her. I deeply feel that I will never find someone like her again. The though of death is on my mind every other day. If it wasn't for my mother, I would probably end it. Signed up for therapy in two days, it's going to be my first time.
I keep asking everyone for a recovery timeline, but everyone just says "that's very individual". The most common answer seems to be 6-18 months of this purgatory. Cried literally 10 times yesterday, and twice today already. I just don't know how to move on, and most importantly, I see no reason to move on, except to save my mother from the pain of seeing me suffer and fail at life.
Please, can you share your experiences? Have you really, truly considered someone your soulmate, your best friend, and then moved on? How long will I be in this purgatory? I do remember that I was sometimes unhappy in those years. But isn't everyone on some level, occasionally unhappy in a marriage? We don't live in a fairy tale, and that's normal, right? How do I know if I am putting her on a pedestal? Sorry for so many questions.
I still consider her a good person and wish her well, although I am devastated that she left me when I felt in my heart that we would overcome anything and I would never ever abandon her.
2024.05.14 09:39 strawberry_cupcakee My boyfriend has had breaking up with me on his mind for a while now but I don't want to break up
I 16f have been dating my boyfriend 16m for almost 2 years. Our 2 year anniversary will be next month, if we last that long.
I love my boyfriend very much but our relationship has been effecred by both of us going through a rough patch mentally right now (no triggers for it, just sad or depressed). My sadness makes my boyfriend sad, and when my boyfriend is sad I'm sad and my reasoning is because I care about him and I don't like seeing him sad, however he said there isn't really much of a reason why he becomes sad when I am.
The past few days my boyfriend told me he's been getting thoughts on breaking up with me. I personally think it's because he's sad and possibly depressed, but I don't think he thinks so. When I was very sad and depressed, I had these thoughts too and I'd feel nothing towards him or anyone, until I was happy again. However, with my boyfriend it's different. He also said he doesn't like the idea of breaking up, but he can't decide mentally if that's what he wants to do. I've told him countless times i don't think breaking up would benefit him because I think it's just sadness (he still says I love you back and he says it every night before we sleep, but that's been our ritual for so long). I told my boyfriend he's possibly just overthinking it but he said he knows exactly what he's thinking, he just hasn't got a conclusion whether to break up with me or not. I kept telling him to at least wait to become happy to decide but I don't think he's considering doing that.
I don't want to break up with him. We've been through so much and our relationships is properly long term. I don't think breaking up is wise, at least in this moment of time. I want to try lots of things to make him happy again but every time I think I've succeeded, it doesn't look like I have from his actions and expressions.
Do you think it could be his sadness or was it my sadness? (I'm not as sad anymore but he keeps getting effected) Would breaking up over this be wise? (He hasn't given a reason to wanting to break up. When he feels this way, he gets sad and says he's unsure if he loves me, which is exactly what I went through when I was sad)
submitted by strawberry_cupcakee to AdviceForTeens [link] [comments]
I love my boyfriend very much but our relationship has been effecred by both of us going through a rough patch mentally right now (no triggers for it, just sad or depressed). My sadness makes my boyfriend sad, and when my boyfriend is sad I'm sad and my reasoning is because I care about him and I don't like seeing him sad, however he said there isn't really much of a reason why he becomes sad when I am.
The past few days my boyfriend told me he's been getting thoughts on breaking up with me. I personally think it's because he's sad and possibly depressed, but I don't think he thinks so. When I was very sad and depressed, I had these thoughts too and I'd feel nothing towards him or anyone, until I was happy again. However, with my boyfriend it's different. He also said he doesn't like the idea of breaking up, but he can't decide mentally if that's what he wants to do. I've told him countless times i don't think breaking up would benefit him because I think it's just sadness (he still says I love you back and he says it every night before we sleep, but that's been our ritual for so long). I told my boyfriend he's possibly just overthinking it but he said he knows exactly what he's thinking, he just hasn't got a conclusion whether to break up with me or not. I kept telling him to at least wait to become happy to decide but I don't think he's considering doing that.
I don't want to break up with him. We've been through so much and our relationships is properly long term. I don't think breaking up is wise, at least in this moment of time. I want to try lots of things to make him happy again but every time I think I've succeeded, it doesn't look like I have from his actions and expressions.
Do you think it could be his sadness or was it my sadness? (I'm not as sad anymore but he keeps getting effected) Would breaking up over this be wise? (He hasn't given a reason to wanting to break up. When he feels this way, he gets sad and says he's unsure if he loves me, which is exactly what I went through when I was sad)
2024.05.14 09:37 vvvyan AITAH FOR HATING MY FIANCE
Notes: sorry for the bad English or wrong grammar since English is not my first language
I’m 23 (F) and my fiancé 24 (M) has been engaged for 3 months now. We are exes back at high school but only in relationship for few months. After 5 years, we met again and he propose after few months after we met. Everything was fine before, he took care of my well-being, fulfil my cravings and needs. He has an ex before, she is a cheater and gold digger (from what he told me) he really loved her that he bought the girl almost everything she wanted, an iPhone, iPad, shopping spree, expensive dining and even install the air conditioner and bought furniture at the girl familys house. To the point where the girls family is using him for money. Eventually after 2 years, they broke up.
Back to my story, he changed by time. He doesn’t really pay attention to me like he used to, he plays his phone a lot and no longer fulfil my needs like he used to. I checked his phone few times since I know all his passwords an got access to his social media but theres nothing suspicious, he just scrolling his media social most of the time. The wedding is less than 3 months away and we havent start to prepare anything yet. Just a small talk like where the venue and how many guests we want to invite and that`s all. Every time I try bring him to discuss more about the wedding he keeps saying “whatever u wanted, it will be just fine with me”. At this time, I feel like I am the only one who excited about this wedding. You must be guessing oh he must be working really hard right now to pay the wedding expenses. He is not, his dad lending his money to pay for our wedding expenses and he agreed to pay it back every month after the wedding. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Related to the story of his ex, the girl is jobless and basically his ex-boyfriend who is my fiancé now is the one who provide anything for her. I am working, but the salary is not that much but enough, I notice my fiancé don’t have that much money like he used to so I helped him to cover some expenses using my savings for us to survive. But this is where my hate grew, because just later I know he actually not that broke like what I thought. Few weeks ago, I thought we are facing financial problem that he only bought one meal for me and he refuse for us to share the meal. I, once again use my saving so none of us have to feel hungry and to cover some expenses. He bought a 400 bucks car rims the very next day and told me he wants to join competing a car event that is one month away. As the fiancée I keep thinking why he can`t treat me the way he treated his ex before, she is jobless + cheat on him but he just fine with it and still love and did everything she wanted to just to please her. But when we are together, I am treated this way. I tried confront him few times but he keeps denying and tell me sad story about his previous life. It’s not that I want to be his next gold digger but I sense the injustice in all these issues. Mind that he like to lie with no reason, like just a small inconvenient thing asked and he will pretty much lie.
I don’t know how to feel, what I should do or talk to. because people around me supporting him, saying he is a nice guy whatsoever and it is me who over react all this things.
submitted by vvvyan to AITAH [link] [comments]
I’m 23 (F) and my fiancé 24 (M) has been engaged for 3 months now. We are exes back at high school but only in relationship for few months. After 5 years, we met again and he propose after few months after we met. Everything was fine before, he took care of my well-being, fulfil my cravings and needs. He has an ex before, she is a cheater and gold digger (from what he told me) he really loved her that he bought the girl almost everything she wanted, an iPhone, iPad, shopping spree, expensive dining and even install the air conditioner and bought furniture at the girl familys house. To the point where the girls family is using him for money. Eventually after 2 years, they broke up.
Back to my story, he changed by time. He doesn’t really pay attention to me like he used to, he plays his phone a lot and no longer fulfil my needs like he used to. I checked his phone few times since I know all his passwords an got access to his social media but theres nothing suspicious, he just scrolling his media social most of the time. The wedding is less than 3 months away and we havent start to prepare anything yet. Just a small talk like where the venue and how many guests we want to invite and that`s all. Every time I try bring him to discuss more about the wedding he keeps saying “whatever u wanted, it will be just fine with me”. At this time, I feel like I am the only one who excited about this wedding. You must be guessing oh he must be working really hard right now to pay the wedding expenses. He is not, his dad lending his money to pay for our wedding expenses and he agreed to pay it back every month after the wedding. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Related to the story of his ex, the girl is jobless and basically his ex-boyfriend who is my fiancé now is the one who provide anything for her. I am working, but the salary is not that much but enough, I notice my fiancé don’t have that much money like he used to so I helped him to cover some expenses using my savings for us to survive. But this is where my hate grew, because just later I know he actually not that broke like what I thought. Few weeks ago, I thought we are facing financial problem that he only bought one meal for me and he refuse for us to share the meal. I, once again use my saving so none of us have to feel hungry and to cover some expenses. He bought a 400 bucks car rims the very next day and told me he wants to join competing a car event that is one month away. As the fiancée I keep thinking why he can`t treat me the way he treated his ex before, she is jobless + cheat on him but he just fine with it and still love and did everything she wanted to just to please her. But when we are together, I am treated this way. I tried confront him few times but he keeps denying and tell me sad story about his previous life. It’s not that I want to be his next gold digger but I sense the injustice in all these issues. Mind that he like to lie with no reason, like just a small inconvenient thing asked and he will pretty much lie.
I don’t know how to feel, what I should do or talk to. because people around me supporting him, saying he is a nice guy whatsoever and it is me who over react all this things.
2024.05.14 09:36 Idkanymorrr Just had a dream about the guy who catfished me a year ago. Help.
So to make a long and painful story short, I was deceived by a guy for 8 months. Fake pictures, probably fake backstory, fake everything. I was so dumb and fucking naive that I drove 4 hours to his hometown only to be left stranded when he never showed up. I was in shambles, emotionally fucked up beyond repair. Eventually through trials, coming out to my family and friends, and a lot of awkward hookups later, I got with my boyfriend of 7 months. He’s amazing, kind, and loving. But I keep coming back to the thought of Adam, the catfish. The last time I dreamed of him was last year the night he stranded me. I dreamt about him texting me saying it was all going to be ok. Yeah, sappy and sad. This time, he had come back and we were actually together. But of course. That’s not happening. Can someone please help me somehow block him out or figure out the root of the problem?
submitted by Idkanymorrr to askgaybros [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 09:36 strawberry_cupcakee My boyfriend has had breaking up with me on his mind for a while now
I 16f have been dating my boyfriend 16m for almost 2 years. Our 2 year anniversary will be next month, if we last that long.
I love my boyfriend very much but our relationship has been effected by both of us going through a rough patch mentally right now (no triggers for it, just sad or depressed). My sadness makes my boyfriend sad, and when my boyfriend is sad I'm sad and my reasoning is because I care about him and I don't like seeing him sad, however he said there isn't really much of a reason why he becomes sad when I am.
The past few days my boyfriend told me he's been getting thoughts on breaking up with me. I personally think it's because he's sad and possibly depressed, but I don't think he thinks so. When I was very sad and depressed, I had these thoughts too and I'd feel nothing towards him or anyone, until I was happy again. However, with my boyfriend it's different. He also said he doesn't like the idea of breaking up, but he can't decide mentally if that's what he wants to do. I've told him countless times i don't think breaking up would benefit him because I think it's just sadness (he still says I love you back and he says it every night before we sleep, but that's been our ritual for so long). I told my boyfriend he's possibly just overthinking it but he said he knows exactly what he's thinking, he just hasn't got a conclusion whether to break up with me or not. I kept telling him to at least wait to become happy to decide but I don't think he's considering doing that.
I don't want to break up with him. We've been through so much and our relationships is properly long term. I don't think breaking up is wise, at least in this moment of time. I want to try lots of things to make him happy again but every time I think I've succeeded, it doesn't look like I have from his actions and expressions.
Do you think it could be his sadness or was it my sadness that caused this? (I'm not as sad anymore but he keeps getting effected)
Would breaking up over this be wise? (He hasn't given a reason to wanting to break up. When he feels this way, he gets sad and says he's unsure if he loves me, which is exactly what I went through when I was sad)
TL;DR: - boyfriend has been sad for a while and has breaking up crossing his mind and I think it's just thoughts but he thinks it's more serious than that and he said he hasn't concluded whether he wants to break up or not, but I don't want to because I don't think this is worth breaking up over
Edit - spelling error
submitted by strawberry_cupcakee to relationships [link] [comments]
I love my boyfriend very much but our relationship has been effected by both of us going through a rough patch mentally right now (no triggers for it, just sad or depressed). My sadness makes my boyfriend sad, and when my boyfriend is sad I'm sad and my reasoning is because I care about him and I don't like seeing him sad, however he said there isn't really much of a reason why he becomes sad when I am.
The past few days my boyfriend told me he's been getting thoughts on breaking up with me. I personally think it's because he's sad and possibly depressed, but I don't think he thinks so. When I was very sad and depressed, I had these thoughts too and I'd feel nothing towards him or anyone, until I was happy again. However, with my boyfriend it's different. He also said he doesn't like the idea of breaking up, but he can't decide mentally if that's what he wants to do. I've told him countless times i don't think breaking up would benefit him because I think it's just sadness (he still says I love you back and he says it every night before we sleep, but that's been our ritual for so long). I told my boyfriend he's possibly just overthinking it but he said he knows exactly what he's thinking, he just hasn't got a conclusion whether to break up with me or not. I kept telling him to at least wait to become happy to decide but I don't think he's considering doing that.
I don't want to break up with him. We've been through so much and our relationships is properly long term. I don't think breaking up is wise, at least in this moment of time. I want to try lots of things to make him happy again but every time I think I've succeeded, it doesn't look like I have from his actions and expressions.
Do you think it could be his sadness or was it my sadness that caused this? (I'm not as sad anymore but he keeps getting effected)
Would breaking up over this be wise? (He hasn't given a reason to wanting to break up. When he feels this way, he gets sad and says he's unsure if he loves me, which is exactly what I went through when I was sad)
TL;DR: - boyfriend has been sad for a while and has breaking up crossing his mind and I think it's just thoughts but he thinks it's more serious than that and he said he hasn't concluded whether he wants to break up or not, but I don't want to because I don't think this is worth breaking up over
Edit - spelling error
2024.05.14 09:34 Natural_Tangelo4283 Practical Life
Hi I'm 19 (F) and at this age i just realized that i still don't have control with my life especially now that ill be in college this school year but before anything else I love my parents and I do understand them and hopefully will still be their child in my next life but in a different lifestyle.
I came from not so middle class family but it change when the pandemic started and we've been into big financial crisis and was in big debt (up until now actually ) leaving me in no choice but to get what we can afford not what I want. I still remember how my mother got mad at me when I told them I wanted to be an architect and try to study in UST or Mapua whyy?? because they said we couldn't afford and everything and randomly gonna bring it up and end up getting mad and sayong a bit harsh words lol, and as far as i can remember they distant themselves to me after that and as devastated i was i try my best not to cry in front of them and start accepting it (cried for months bcs of this, still hurts lol)
After a few months when college start accepting applicants for their University (Most of the Uni i applied are State U means free tuition) my mother only wanted me to apply in this University where both my siblings graduated it was fine and it's not like i have choice🥲 but i told them that i wanted to try to different universities but then again they get mad the reason?? " why would you even try to exam their if you're not even gonna attend their" "you're just wasting money" and so on but i was so eager bcs who knows if I'll pass the CET and so i sell some of my clothes so i could have my pocket money to take CET in those 2 University
Now that I passed one of the CET (really happy and grateful 🥰) as Veterinary Medicine and as a dog lover I felt hopeful that this might really be the one for me, that I might be in the veterinary field but I was wrong, my mother didn't even congratulate me when i passed instead she told me to wait for the result of the other state U i applied, then i remember when she told me that someone told her that it's EXPENSIVE to be vetmed as if she was discouraging me not to pursue vet but nowadays, there's no such thing as affordable college education riigghtt?? and it's not like this is the first time she tried to discourage me with my decision as if she is manipulating me to choose what she only wanted for me
and just then i realized that i don't get to made a decision in my own life, i get that i need to be practical but it made me realize that my parents especially my mom doesn't really care about what makes me happy rather just focus on what and where we can lessen the expense
I was sad but really had no choice but to deal with this. I wasn't able to be in my dream University in my dream course remembering i dont even know that the course they wanted me to pursue exist lol.
this is just the summary lol I'll be posting a part 2 lol
submitted by Natural_Tangelo4283 to u/Natural_Tangelo4283 [link] [comments]
I came from not so middle class family but it change when the pandemic started and we've been into big financial crisis and was in big debt (up until now actually ) leaving me in no choice but to get what we can afford not what I want. I still remember how my mother got mad at me when I told them I wanted to be an architect and try to study in UST or Mapua whyy?? because they said we couldn't afford and everything and randomly gonna bring it up and end up getting mad and sayong a bit harsh words lol, and as far as i can remember they distant themselves to me after that and as devastated i was i try my best not to cry in front of them and start accepting it (cried for months bcs of this, still hurts lol)
After a few months when college start accepting applicants for their University (Most of the Uni i applied are State U means free tuition) my mother only wanted me to apply in this University where both my siblings graduated it was fine and it's not like i have choice🥲 but i told them that i wanted to try to different universities but then again they get mad the reason?? " why would you even try to exam their if you're not even gonna attend their" "you're just wasting money" and so on but i was so eager bcs who knows if I'll pass the CET and so i sell some of my clothes so i could have my pocket money to take CET in those 2 University
Now that I passed one of the CET (really happy and grateful 🥰) as Veterinary Medicine and as a dog lover I felt hopeful that this might really be the one for me, that I might be in the veterinary field but I was wrong, my mother didn't even congratulate me when i passed instead she told me to wait for the result of the other state U i applied, then i remember when she told me that someone told her that it's EXPENSIVE to be vetmed as if she was discouraging me not to pursue vet but nowadays, there's no such thing as affordable college education riigghtt?? and it's not like this is the first time she tried to discourage me with my decision as if she is manipulating me to choose what she only wanted for me
and just then i realized that i don't get to made a decision in my own life, i get that i need to be practical but it made me realize that my parents especially my mom doesn't really care about what makes me happy rather just focus on what and where we can lessen the expense
I was sad but really had no choice but to deal with this. I wasn't able to be in my dream University in my dream course remembering i dont even know that the course they wanted me to pursue exist lol.
this is just the summary lol I'll be posting a part 2 lol
2024.05.14 09:34 Pimasterjimmy Tales of Zippy and Friends: Katniss the keeper of pens. (Boomer tries to get me fired for Handing her a sticker)(tw: suicide)
My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, so crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
submitted by Pimasterjimmy to Talesofzippy [link] [comments]
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, so crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
2024.05.14 09:32 Flaky_Extreme_9941 Today I received the report of my neuropsychological evaluation
It's quite long, 35 pages, but it's not as detailed as I had imagined/wanted it to be. We did several tests over 12 online sessions, she also did an anamnesis session with me and another with my mom.
The report contains at least 2 personality tests. As I read the results I started to feel sad. What a horrible person! I don't recognize myself in those results. These are things like "does not demonstrate feelings of piety, compassion, tenderness and sympathy". At the same time as I want to argue that I always thought I had hyperempathy, I actually don't usually *demonstrate* it. But what kind of action do I have to do for someone to believe that I have piety and compassion?? I have difficulty allowing myself to be vulnerable, so I have always avoided crying in public. And I grew up in a family that doesn't show love through physical contact or words, so I really feel uncomfortable doing that to other people, so I don't do it.
But what bothers me is that it was a *test*, and not an observation made by her. Did I misinterpret the questions?
There is a test that is specifically designed to identify characteristics of autism. In it I apparently scored high. I searched the internet for an example of how to interpret this result, and I found a scientific article that compares average scores of autistic people with those of non-autistic people. The discrepancy is evident, non-autistic people score a total of 25 points, and autistic people 103. Interestingly, my score was 103. It's worth mentioning that in another personality test (which looks a lot like big5) it gave very high neuroticism. That said, I found my results very similar to the results used in that article, VERY similar. But that must just be my denial speaking out loud.
In the IQ assessment part, the neuropsychologist made a mistake, she used someone else's full name instead of mine. This triggered an alert, and made me think "are these really MY results?". I will confirm this with her tomorrow.
There was one more test that left me suspicious. It is a test related to the professional's observation of whether I present typical or atypical characteristics. For the autism result, you need to obtain 10 points. There are 10 observation topics, so you just have to score them all as "slightly atypical", which is equivalent to 1 point. And didn't I score 1 point in all topics, folks!? I found it suspicious. It is not described what would be "slightly atypical", nor what made her think that I fit this condition. Look, she specializes in autism in adults, and that's exactly what made me choose her for this evaluation. But, this also makes me wonder... Does she not believe anything I say too much? I don't know, as I've already said that I think I'm autistic, was she not influenced by this and started treating the assessment as a way of proving that I really am autistic? That wasn't exactly what I wanted, I wanted to get real, non-biased feedback on whether or not I fit into the autism spectrum.
If you've read this far, do you think the distrust I'm feeling makes sense? Or is it just a response influenced by fear? How did you feel when reading your report?
submitted by Flaky_Extreme_9941 to AutisticAdults [link] [comments]
The report contains at least 2 personality tests. As I read the results I started to feel sad. What a horrible person! I don't recognize myself in those results. These are things like "does not demonstrate feelings of piety, compassion, tenderness and sympathy". At the same time as I want to argue that I always thought I had hyperempathy, I actually don't usually *demonstrate* it. But what kind of action do I have to do for someone to believe that I have piety and compassion?? I have difficulty allowing myself to be vulnerable, so I have always avoided crying in public. And I grew up in a family that doesn't show love through physical contact or words, so I really feel uncomfortable doing that to other people, so I don't do it.
But what bothers me is that it was a *test*, and not an observation made by her. Did I misinterpret the questions?
There is a test that is specifically designed to identify characteristics of autism. In it I apparently scored high. I searched the internet for an example of how to interpret this result, and I found a scientific article that compares average scores of autistic people with those of non-autistic people. The discrepancy is evident, non-autistic people score a total of 25 points, and autistic people 103. Interestingly, my score was 103. It's worth mentioning that in another personality test (which looks a lot like big5) it gave very high neuroticism. That said, I found my results very similar to the results used in that article, VERY similar. But that must just be my denial speaking out loud.
In the IQ assessment part, the neuropsychologist made a mistake, she used someone else's full name instead of mine. This triggered an alert, and made me think "are these really MY results?". I will confirm this with her tomorrow.
There was one more test that left me suspicious. It is a test related to the professional's observation of whether I present typical or atypical characteristics. For the autism result, you need to obtain 10 points. There are 10 observation topics, so you just have to score them all as "slightly atypical", which is equivalent to 1 point. And didn't I score 1 point in all topics, folks!? I found it suspicious. It is not described what would be "slightly atypical", nor what made her think that I fit this condition. Look, she specializes in autism in adults, and that's exactly what made me choose her for this evaluation. But, this also makes me wonder... Does she not believe anything I say too much? I don't know, as I've already said that I think I'm autistic, was she not influenced by this and started treating the assessment as a way of proving that I really am autistic? That wasn't exactly what I wanted, I wanted to get real, non-biased feedback on whether or not I fit into the autism spectrum.
If you've read this far, do you think the distrust I'm feeling makes sense? Or is it just a response influenced by fear? How did you feel when reading your report?
2024.05.14 09:32 shaneka69 Get A Tarot Reading Today! ALL READINGS SENT SAME DAY THEY ARE BOOKED
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2024.05.14 09:30 Parking_Zone8175 Hey everyone I really need help I did a terrible thing and my conscious is hurting me I wish someone will give me a real advice maybe a psychologist cause I'm losing myself
The story starts when I was young (17yo) I was studying at university I've been with someone we were deeply in love we broke up a lot when we were toghther but we get back together eventually we've been like this for 5 years. In The last break up I decided to move on, and I did. I met someone who's toxic i ended up the relationship. I met someone else( I will name him Liam )he was extremely good for me he was kind loving respectful I spend with him 3 years( in these 3 years my ex from university was still calling me but I didn't give him a chance )they were good 3 years I was faithful honest I've never kept anything from him he made happy I started seeing him as a blessing, At the end of the 3rd year toghther we started having fights he changed because of some problems at his work he didn't give me attention like he use to be, I spent 6 months telling him if his going to treat like this I'll leave him, he didn't listen we've been always arguing, I was telling him how hurt I was I just wanted him to treat me as he was so we can be happy again, but he didn't I was feeling sad I cried I told him what he needs to do I reminded him how he was with me so he can fix himself but he didn't, Then I did the Terrible thing I cheated on him with a guy just to feel loved feel that I'm wanted I didn't like the guy so I ended up the relationship. after that my ex from university showed up and I did talked to him I thought we are just talking there is nothing serious but eventually we got back together he asked me if I knew someone in these 3 years and I lied I didn't tell him about liam. Liam didn't know about all this because I stopped talking to him since my ex was back, I rejected Liam's calls his socials but I didn't say that it was over I ignored him. I was feeling horrible from that day untill now I didn't expect that I'm capable of cheating I didn't think of it at all, I can't sleep I can't eat well I'm a bad person I'm playing with two guys I didn't tell anyone the truth this is ripping my heart, my ex is sensing that there is something I'm hiding because I started lying to him he wants to know what's going on and I can't tell him he will hate me and he will never show up again so I told him let's have a break I need to clear my head I need to change to a better person to be with him. I haven't talked to Liam because I told him a lie that I have a family problem when the problem is solved I will call him. All I'm thinking of is letting them both go. Can anyone please help me I will appreciate it I really need an advice I started having suicidal thoughts. I can't live with myself, I really want a solution to this situation thank you in advance.
submitted by Parking_Zone8175 to dating_advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 09:29 Pimasterjimmy Tales of Zippy and Friends: Katniss the keeper of pens. (Boomer tries to get me fired for Handing her a sticker)(tw: suicide)
My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, do crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
submitted by Pimasterjimmy to BoomersBeingFools [link] [comments]
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, do crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
2024.05.14 09:29 ConfidentGrass7663 On S2 rn and still struggling to understand why do we live really?
I am on S2 rn and probably chose the worst time in life to watch this anime. It's a masterpiece, I absolutely love it but still struggle to understand why do we live?
Why is it so bad to reach a point where you aren't scared of death anymore? I used to think people who aren't scared of death have truly mastered life, however when I am at the point in my life it seems like such a sad reality. When you are scared of death, when you have some pointless goals you still have an aspiration to live life. But when things stop appealing to you, when you reach that stage where clothes are clothes, food is food, people are people everything just seems so grim.
I have been a high functioning person all my life, lately it feels like everything is pointless. Idk what to look forward to because barely anything interests me anymore, whenever I am at a social gathering it feels like I have to put on a mask and do mindless conversations to go through this facade. Maybe that adds some value to life.
Idk I think I am young & naive but nothing seems to make sense anymore and I am still struggling with the question of why I am still living.
Anyways what did you guys takeaway behind why you are living and do they go deeper in the manga behind the purpose of living itself?
submitted by ConfidentGrass7663 to VinlandSaga [link] [comments]
Why is it so bad to reach a point where you aren't scared of death anymore? I used to think people who aren't scared of death have truly mastered life, however when I am at the point in my life it seems like such a sad reality. When you are scared of death, when you have some pointless goals you still have an aspiration to live life. But when things stop appealing to you, when you reach that stage where clothes are clothes, food is food, people are people everything just seems so grim.
I have been a high functioning person all my life, lately it feels like everything is pointless. Idk what to look forward to because barely anything interests me anymore, whenever I am at a social gathering it feels like I have to put on a mask and do mindless conversations to go through this facade. Maybe that adds some value to life.
Idk I think I am young & naive but nothing seems to make sense anymore and I am still struggling with the question of why I am still living.
Anyways what did you guys takeaway behind why you are living and do they go deeper in the manga behind the purpose of living itself?
2024.05.14 09:28 th3rd_couturek1d Has anyone brought well, working parents to Japan?
Took a look through previous posts and only saw people asking about parents already/nearly retired and/or ill, but has anyone convinced well, working parents to join them?
My spouse and I are from different countries and have been living in Japan for years. We love Japan and have no desire to "go home" to either country except for family, with whom we're close and spend a considerable amout of our incomes to visit as often as we can.
While my spouse's family are content in their country, mine are miserable in my home country. They spent most of their lives working overseas, and express so much frustration about that country, plus are a bit isolated where they live now and don't have many strong ties. They're so sad about "missing" so many things in the future (grandkids, especially) and naturally worried about who will take care of them as they age, and those things are concerns for me, too.
Given their life experience as expats, I've wondered if moving abroad again to work and then retire would make them happier, but recently my spouse suggested that perhaps just coming to Japan might be good for them. They could both easily find work with their skills and experience (and probably better work than they have now), plus they like the part of Japan where we live. Of course language and culture are a barrier (they appreciate Japanese culture but don't love it), but otherwise I feel like it's a pretty natural solution and the pros of being together, better work opportunities, lower cost of living, etc., far outweigh the cons.
Maybe I'm just looking for affirmation, I don't know, but I'm also legitimately curious if anyone has done this?
submitted by th3rd_couturek1d to japanlife [link] [comments]
My spouse and I are from different countries and have been living in Japan for years. We love Japan and have no desire to "go home" to either country except for family, with whom we're close and spend a considerable amout of our incomes to visit as often as we can.
While my spouse's family are content in their country, mine are miserable in my home country. They spent most of their lives working overseas, and express so much frustration about that country, plus are a bit isolated where they live now and don't have many strong ties. They're so sad about "missing" so many things in the future (grandkids, especially) and naturally worried about who will take care of them as they age, and those things are concerns for me, too.
Given their life experience as expats, I've wondered if moving abroad again to work and then retire would make them happier, but recently my spouse suggested that perhaps just coming to Japan might be good for them. They could both easily find work with their skills and experience (and probably better work than they have now), plus they like the part of Japan where we live. Of course language and culture are a barrier (they appreciate Japanese culture but don't love it), but otherwise I feel like it's a pretty natural solution and the pros of being together, better work opportunities, lower cost of living, etc., far outweigh the cons.
Maybe I'm just looking for affirmation, I don't know, but I'm also legitimately curious if anyone has done this?
2024.05.14 09:25 OneMorePotion It's always the same issue with this game
I love ESO. I really, REALLY do. But every time I return to it and try making it my main MMO, I encounter the same issue. And I'm really not sure how to solve it because I tried everything I can.
Group play is a gigantic mess. The idea of signing up for a dungeon fills me with so much frustration every single time. You can toss a coin and one of two things will happen. A) I get a dungeon I've been to before and it's somewhat fine. Still super hectic but I get it. People run these dungeons since years and they want to get through them as fast as possible. It only becomes a Problem wenn B) happens. I've never been to the dungeon and now I need to be hyper focused on EVERYTHING. Not only myself and the enemies. Where is my party? Do we skip this trash? Why do we skip this trash but not the one before that? Where are people running all of the sudden? Oh damn, my questmarker is somewhere 2 rooms back now because I had no time to wait for the NPC to finish their dialogue. Or wasn't even aware that there was something I had to wait for. And tadaaa I'm standing in the final room. Alone. No hello, no bye, nothing in the chat. It feels like everyone I play with could quiet as well be a group of AI I can hire to play through the content on my terms.
I want to get into ESO group gameplay. Thats my main goal every time I return. But after playing for a while, I'm just so done with everything actual MMO related. This game is so good when playing through story and exploring the world. And then it breaks apart (for me) the moment other people are required.
Chat is constantly ignored by everyone. Even when you type that this is your first time doing this dungeon, and if it's ok that I do the quest. Nothing. Sometimes quests are not finished because we skip something. Or I wasn't aware I needed to wait for an NPC and everyone else was already two rooms further. And since I am a healer, I can't just no follow the group? Or can I? Quest enemies sometimes die before the quest even updated. So that's not working most of the time. What do I do? I get myself a Guild.
Now... Maybe I was incredible unlucky. But the last 3 times I returned, I joined a different PvE guild. And my group chat experience sadly extends to guilds. Ingame chat is mostly ignored. You try forming a group for dungeons in this PvE and beginner friendly guild, but nobody wants to run them. You try getting people together for World Boss runs. Nope, not happening.
This game always feels like a very good single player experience, with an multiplayer aspect most of the community doesn't care for, or actively avoids. I played a lot of solo friendly MMO's, but I never felt so alone and frustrated about everything group play related, than in this game. It starts from simple interactions in random dungeons, and ends at the absolute inability to put groups together in PvE guilds. As I said, maybe the last one was just me being incredible unlucky.
I'm just at a loss again... I want to play ESO. But I really don't understand how this community works or what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I have different expectations or don't understand things fully. But if the extend of playing this game is purely solo gameplay, then I might just as well go back to heavily modded Skyrim and Oblivion. I will stick to it for now, since Gold Road releases soon. And I try to get into an active guild around release. Since that's probably the time most people are playing. Maybe this way I will actually get a satisfying group experience. But if that failes as well, I'm giving up on the group play aspect and treat it as a single player game. What would be damn shame because some of the Veteran dungeons and Trials look sick as fuck.
submitted by OneMorePotion to elderscrollsonline [link] [comments]
Group play is a gigantic mess. The idea of signing up for a dungeon fills me with so much frustration every single time. You can toss a coin and one of two things will happen. A) I get a dungeon I've been to before and it's somewhat fine. Still super hectic but I get it. People run these dungeons since years and they want to get through them as fast as possible. It only becomes a Problem wenn B) happens. I've never been to the dungeon and now I need to be hyper focused on EVERYTHING. Not only myself and the enemies. Where is my party? Do we skip this trash? Why do we skip this trash but not the one before that? Where are people running all of the sudden? Oh damn, my questmarker is somewhere 2 rooms back now because I had no time to wait for the NPC to finish their dialogue. Or wasn't even aware that there was something I had to wait for. And tadaaa I'm standing in the final room. Alone. No hello, no bye, nothing in the chat. It feels like everyone I play with could quiet as well be a group of AI I can hire to play through the content on my terms.
I want to get into ESO group gameplay. Thats my main goal every time I return. But after playing for a while, I'm just so done with everything actual MMO related. This game is so good when playing through story and exploring the world. And then it breaks apart (for me) the moment other people are required.
Chat is constantly ignored by everyone. Even when you type that this is your first time doing this dungeon, and if it's ok that I do the quest. Nothing. Sometimes quests are not finished because we skip something. Or I wasn't aware I needed to wait for an NPC and everyone else was already two rooms further. And since I am a healer, I can't just no follow the group? Or can I? Quest enemies sometimes die before the quest even updated. So that's not working most of the time. What do I do? I get myself a Guild.
Now... Maybe I was incredible unlucky. But the last 3 times I returned, I joined a different PvE guild. And my group chat experience sadly extends to guilds. Ingame chat is mostly ignored. You try forming a group for dungeons in this PvE and beginner friendly guild, but nobody wants to run them. You try getting people together for World Boss runs. Nope, not happening.
This game always feels like a very good single player experience, with an multiplayer aspect most of the community doesn't care for, or actively avoids. I played a lot of solo friendly MMO's, but I never felt so alone and frustrated about everything group play related, than in this game. It starts from simple interactions in random dungeons, and ends at the absolute inability to put groups together in PvE guilds. As I said, maybe the last one was just me being incredible unlucky.
I'm just at a loss again... I want to play ESO. But I really don't understand how this community works or what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I have different expectations or don't understand things fully. But if the extend of playing this game is purely solo gameplay, then I might just as well go back to heavily modded Skyrim and Oblivion. I will stick to it for now, since Gold Road releases soon. And I try to get into an active guild around release. Since that's probably the time most people are playing. Maybe this way I will actually get a satisfying group experience. But if that failes as well, I'm giving up on the group play aspect and treat it as a single player game. What would be damn shame because some of the Veteran dungeons and Trials look sick as fuck.
2024.05.14 09:20 Far_Condition_3833 DISO signed TTPD CD
I'm down bad crying at the gym because I missed the TTPD CD drop - again. I had it in my cart and was in the queue to checkout. Then, it kicked me out and removed the CD out of my cart. 😭 You don't get to tell me about sad until this situation happens to you. There is a litany of reasons why I want this CD so badly. I cannot purchase this CD for +$300 without feeling guilty as sin for my bank account.
I was tame, I was gentle til the circus life made me mean. And now I have no patience for resellers who sell this item for 14x the original price. Missing this signed CD drop was the biggest loss of my life.
Will Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus or someone straight from the Tortured Poets Department please sell me a signed CD for close to face value.
I love Taylor Swift, it's ruining my life. 😪
submitted by Far_Condition_3833 to SwiftieMerch [link] [comments]
I was tame, I was gentle til the circus life made me mean. And now I have no patience for resellers who sell this item for 14x the original price. Missing this signed CD drop was the biggest loss of my life.
Will Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus or someone straight from the Tortured Poets Department please sell me a signed CD for close to face value.
I love Taylor Swift, it's ruining my life. 😪