What people don't tell you about fear, is that it comes over you like snow: in waves.
The sky could be quiet and sickly white, devoid of its light lost to the melting ice over the surface of the earth. The snow puts on pressure: the highest drains on the block roofs are groaning with the wind. The sludge of decaying snow is brought up, high up by human feet as the water accumulates on the steps. The Eastern winter is not a calm place from the eyes of one who stares at it through a window. While the adults force their boots through the sea of white and children coming from school mutilate the white through their own games, one cannot feel the cold or the rain under a roof; above that another roof, and soon another, climbing the floors of the towering block among the white earth.
Within the cells of the building, families huddle in rooms, mindlessly enjoying the human company all people crave like dogs for meat. And lonely people huddle with the light in their rooms, the isolated and ill who could not bring themselves to play their part among the web of people that treads over the snow every winter. And we seem to notice: notice how the people change themselves when the skies go white and the nights long and black, how they weave in and out of buildings, heat up food and homes, how they match the weary winter.
Now notice how the fear doesn't leave with the sun, the light cut short by winter's nights. The people watching life through the windows have stepped away from the taunting eyes that litter the building's walls. Some lie in their bed, wondering how many days they can force through, how much longer can they experience the human life. The block is full of these isolated, during day they sleep and in night they stand on balconies. They leave the cold rooms, they smoke and watch the dead white city through empty air. To many, the long nights bring comfort.
The fear inevitably arrives not long later, along with the sun.
Along with the true human people as they wake, having slept through the tedious hours of night. And this phenomenon iterates itself, it plays out each night as if in a time loop, until the first man walks onto his balcony, looks out into the stars and doesn't walk back into his room again.
And in the white day do the happy people see the stains on the snow? And do they notice, do they react?
Waves will soon run out of energy, and the snow will stop falling. One hour it will fall in its final finale in the winter, and the man who looks on through his window will feel fear for the very list time.

So, for years and years now, I had an on-again-off-again situation with a man 14 years my junior. We met out in the world and had an instant connection. Whenever we were single, we'd hook up and spend time. It was the best time. It was an intimacy beyond anything Ive ever experienced before or after. But I think the age thing got in the way. He was young and in school/looking for a careemade 2 babies during the time I was divorcing/in my long careeraising teens. Our cultures are different too and I think that bothered him as well. On paper we looked a MESS but together I never felt more at peace or at home.
We are both cantankerous and we definitely had our fights-- but where there's great passion in Love, there's great passion in EVERYTHING. For 9 years we have drifted in and out of each other's lives. He's brilliant. He's beautiful. Everything with him is felt so deeply-- without even trying. Is that possible with someone? For it to instantly be this way? Idk. I am not a toucher or cuddler or anything of the sort, but with him- wow, i shocked myself. The need to be near him is intense-- and he feels/felt the same way. (just to say that I am autistic and I suspect he is as well but his culture would never allow it to be said).
Recently, he reached out after I stopped talking to him for 2 years. I wanted a LIFE. I wanted someone to grow with . Someone who was IN and not in-and-out, etc. So i just wished him well one day and blocked him. It was necessary bc it would have gone on for years just in and out of my life. And i love him so much. He loved me too but was scared of it.
Enter now. I replied to his message months after he sent it. We've been chatting and have said all the things we never said at the time. It was healing in so many ways for both of us. I said the things I wanted to say. I heard the things i KNEW were true but were never said. He still loves me. I don't know what to do with that, so i put it to rest because i'm engaged to a WONDERFUL man. I am taken care of, and loved, and I love him. We have a life. We have goals. We have a future.
But it's not the same. Is that possible? I would never do anything to throw away what I have, but I can't help but wonder what kind of BS life is to let you taste this type of emotions, but then you KNOW what's best for you is something stable and true. Real.
Idk. Just venting I guess. Maybe I should have never replied. I'll probably always secretly love him.

I (19M) was always lonely throughout my life. I never had friends in school and never took part in any co-curricular activities. I would be jealous of my classmates with them hanging out with friends and being able to talk to girls, so I decided that after my high school I will try to make friends in college.
In college I met a group of people who I thought could be my friends. We would talk and have fun together. We would joke about each other. Even there were 2 girls in our group and with their friendly nature made me comfortable to talk to girls. Even there was a guy in the group who I would hangout with a lot. We would sit together and go to eat food together in the canteen or outside college.
I even started talking to a girl. She was really sweet and cute to talk to and we would bitch about our professors and at once shared playlists with each other. She was the one who asked me for my Insta ID. She would look and smile at me and wave at me. It was amazing. I thought my college life is going to be way better than my school life.
But it all came crashing down. In October me and my friends bunked our classes and went to the sports arena to play games. We were playing darts. One of the 2 girls, let's call her S, jokingly told one of the guys in our group that she would hit him on his head with a dart. So I jokingly told her that I would hit her with the dart but I accidentally pointed at her breast. I was looking at her face so I didn't realize it.
She got offended. She took the other girl, let's call her Z, and told her everything about this. Z confronted me and started shouting at me in the sports arena attracting everybody's attention. The Sports Officer came running towards us. He heard the entire story and took my ID card and told them to write a letter against me to the Dean.
After the letter was written he took me and the girls to the Dean who thought of this as a minor incident and told us we are legally adults and coming to him with these petty complaints. Then they told the Dean about me taking photographs of them and leaking them.
The day before I clicked S's photos of her eating a banana in the presence of our friend group. She took it very sportingly as a joke and I uploaded them to our personal Whatsapp Group. Everyone of us including her were laughing and giggling. But she and Z told that I took them without permission. They even told that I was never a friend and I was an outsider.
Dean got me suspended for 15 days because the next day our vacation would start so throughout November I was in my home. My mother uses this incident as a weapon to scold me evey now and then when we have arguments. And the worst was my crush.
During the days of my suspension I was in contact with my crush. She would even send notes of the classes of that day everyday throughout the suspension, but she didn't know I got suspended. Then when I rejoined college and started attending classes I sat far to my former friend group and behind my crush and she ignored me. Completely.
Throughout the whole day she would ignore me. That broke my heart. I was very upset and regretful for my actions. I think that my crush stopped taking to me because she got to know about this incident and misunderstood me. I have been hating myself for not respecting boundaries. Now I am all alone seeing my classmates enjoying their friendships and relationships. I think I deserve this.

I find myself deeply longing for a sincere and profound connection. Hopefully, you are looking for the same?
I think most of us are afraid in some sense to love and to be completely vulnerable yet despite the risk we long for it.
The capacity to love, sometimes even in the face of pain, is one of the most beautiful aspects of being human. It's a strength, and not always a weakness.
At my core, I'm a person of love, of care, of deep unyielding affection for those I hold dear.
Through the journey of healing and self-discovery, I've realized that I have much love to share. Love that is not bitter, but kind; not resentful, but forgiving; not closed, but open and willing to grow alongside someone special.
I'm sincere in my attempt to forge a connection and hope you are too, I'd try to share things about me that might give you idea of the person I am.
Essence of Me:
I am a mix of old-school romance and modern sensibility, holding onto the ideals of loyalty and sincerity. I think handwritten notes, surprise dates, and the belief that small gestures make a big difference. I am someone who thrives on deep connections and meaningful interactions.
I’m someone who believes in the power of midnight conversations, in the healing balm of shared laughter, and in the silent solidarity of presence.
I believe in the power of empathy and the importance of being there for those who matter, even if it's a call at 3 AM. I value integrity, kindness, and a good/weird sense of humor. I find beauty in the mundane, the kind of person who finds joy in the little things and believes in taking the time to truly understand and appreciate others.
Physical Attributes:

• Height: 5'11" (181cm)
• Build: Slim
• Hair: Deep black, kept in check
• Eyes: Light, sometimes dark brown :3
• Beard: Short, fashionable, and pristinely groomed
• Complexion: FaiTanned

Interests:
I find solace in music that echoes my moods, books that transport me to other worlds, and quiet moments in nature that ground me. I cherish activities that nurture growth, whether they're intellectual debates, serene walks, or shared laughs over coffee. I'm drawn to the arts as much as to the simple pleasure of a sunset.. I also have a keen interest in cooking and experimenting with new recipes, finding the act of creating something delicious for others as a form of expression and care.
To sum up some typical interests include: Philosophy, nature, languages, books, reading, writing, video games, sports, art, poetry, travelling etc
What I Am Looking For:
I'm in search of someone who values open and honest communication as much as I do. Someone who understands that relationships are about growth, learning, and supporting each other through life's myriad challenges and joys. I am looking for someone who is eager to prioritize getting to know each other, willing to open their heart, and ready to build something meaningful together.
Expectations:

• Mutual respect and understanding
• Openness and honesty in communication
• A shared desire to prioritize our relationship and growth
• An interest in exploring life's depths and joys together

The Quest for You:
What am I seeking? Not a perfect person, but a real one. Someone whose heart speaks the language of kindness, whose spirit dances to the tune of sincerity. I dream of a connection where words are just the beginning, where vulnerability is not a weakness but our strongest bond. I yearn for a love that’s both a safe harbor and a grand adventure, a partnership built on mutual respect, understanding, and the shared bravery of baring one’s soul.
I seek a fellow traveler in this journey of life, one who understands that while our pasts may shape us, they do not define us. Someone who stands at the intersection of hope and reality, ready to embark on a path not devoid of challenges but rich with the promise of true companionship.
Epilogue of Hope:
If my words have stirred something in your heart, if you too are navigating the vast oceans of life in search of a genuine connection, then perhaps we are two stars meant to align in the constellation of fate. I extend my hand, my heart, and my story to you – not in desperation, but with the quiet confidence of one who has faced the night and yearns for the dawn.
Laconic messages with just "hi", "what's up," "I have a question," and the likes will be most likely ignored. If I can beat my own laconism when introducing myself here, so can you.

I (24M) have had a friendship with this person (26F) for quite a few years now. We first met over Discord because she knew one of my other best friends at the time and that was that. Me and her very quickly became great friends. She's always lived in a different country, so hanging out and stuff has always been exclusively on Discord, or on other social media platforms. Over the course of our time knowing each other while I was in college, she sort of broke it off with another friend in our circle. Naturally, it caused some awkwardness and she left the Discord and stuff but me and our other friends still talked and hung out with her. Whatever problems she and our other friend had didn't mean that we all couldn't still be friends and go on like usual, ya know?
Well, cut to post-graduation, and me and her just don't meet up on Discord as much anymore. Sadly, no longer going to school means having a job and other responsibilities I didn't have prior, so things like staying/waking up at awkward hours to try and hang out online is a bit tough and also not very convenient. We talked about hanging out and I'd tell her that I'm really sorry and that it's not that I don't want to but it's not as easy anymore because of reasons stated above. She understood, or at least didn't make it seem otherwise.
She had this really weird habit during this time of blocking, or unfriending, me on social media for a duration of time. I'd chalk it up to her being in her feelings over something, and I'd just leave a friend request and, when she was ready, she could add me back. When this would happen, I'd ask her if I did something that just pissed her off. She'd say no, so whatever. I didn't push, and she typically was pretty straight-up with me so I just let it be.
This other instance, I was talking to her and another friend in a group chat and she just abruptly left and blocked me. I did nothing noteworthy. I was being a snarky asshole to her but we've always both been that way and that's just how we are. We like to get a rise out of each other. What irritates me isn't that she got mad, but the blocking shit is childish and just gives the impression that you don't even want to talk it out. It gives the impression that she has no problem casting me to the side over anything, and I don't think it's right that I should feel that way. But ya know, we moved past that instance and I let bygones be bygones.
Well, after enough times of this behavior and she recently did it again. Unfriended me on Discord and other places. We haven't interacted super heavily so I can't even figure what I could've done to cause it, but frankly I'm just at the point where I'm sort of done with it. I can understand that it may have hurt her a bit that I didn't hang as much and things were a bit different because that college era was over when we hung almost constantly. But such is life. Doesn't mean we can't still be intimate friends. It doesn't make me feel good to just be tired of a pretty long-time friend's bullshit, but it also doesn't feel good to constantly have her do this unfriend/blocking shit and having me feeling really critical of myself.

To be honest, I wasn't sure that the Advice sub would let me post this there so I'm posting it here because it's so fucked up. And it didn't seem right for Let's Not Meet, either. But I do need advice, because I feel I'm losing my fucking mind.
So I (30F) have always been very close to my cousin (30F), let's call her Angela. Because we're the same age, our parents (my mom and her father are siblings) went through all the same stages with us and as such, we were more or less raised like siblings due to how much time our families spent together.
We even had homes in the country in the same township, which is where I think this happened. And I can't really tell my family this because it will make me sound legitimately crazy. And some part of me even doubts this memory, but at the same time I know in my heart that it's true. It's a complicated feeling, and this memory was brought to light last week when my suspicion I've had for years was more or less confirmed.
One winter, sixteen years ago, when Angela and I were both fourteen, both of our families were at our cottages, a twenty minute drive from each other. Angela and her little brother (my cousin, let's call him James) parents (my aunt and uncle) were going skiing one morning, and I wanted to go too. So I spent the night at their cottage, like I often did when we all went up north.
Angela's bedroom had two single beds in it, and James' room was down the hall. The whole house was open concept, so the hall from Angela's room to James' room did not have walls, but rather was bordered by two railings over which you could see down into the main floor, the open concept living and dining rooms.
James is four years younger than us, and when he was 10, he was such a typical little boy/little brother, it's almost cartoonish to look back on. Like, I'm talking *constantly* bothering us, putting a stink bomb on a remote control car that he would sneak into our rooms, trying to read Angela's diary when we weren't in her bedroom, just all the stuff. But never anything cruel or out of the ordinary or sinister, just a massive handful.
The basement of James and Angela's cottage was filled with storage and old toys, and sometimes (on the rare occasion) that we'd willingly play with James, we'd all go down to the basement and try to freak each other out. Anyway, one of the toys in the basement was your typical Raggedy-Ann doll from the 60s or something. I think it belonged to my uncle when he was a kid and then Angela when she was a baby. Her name was Trilly. I forget who named it. Anyway, I have vague memories of playing with it when we were much younger and pretending it was our third cousin or our little daughter. But since then she'd sat in storage in the basement.
But, what great nightmare material! Right?! A creepy, limp, smiling doll. So the night I stayed over, before we went skiing in the morning, James, Angela and I were up to our playing in the basement, and I remember we tried to freak James out by pretending Trilly was alive or something like that. Whatever. Game over, we all had dinner with the parents, then watched a movie as a family and went to bed. James to his room and Angela and me to Angela's room.
Now this is the thing. Angela and I still joke about this night, and she remembers it just like I do, which is why I sort of wrote off my hypothesis until last week. That night, in the middle of the night, I started tossing and turning. I woke up and could tell that Angela was stirring as well. One of us said to the other, "are you awake?" and the other said "yes," and we realized that we both couldn't sleep or were woken up by the same thing or were both just feeling restless. But then, at the other end of her room, Trilly was sitting in the fucking desk chair.
I think it was Angela who pointed it out. We saw a shadow, thinking it was a person, freaked out, and then relaxed briefly when we saw it was just the doll. But then we got freaked out all over again and were like, "why the FUCK is this FUCKING doll in your room!?!?", murderously standing up and going over to it to pick it up and throw it in James' room and pound the living Christ out of him.
We turn on all the lights, turn on the hall light, stomp down the hall into his room and turn on his lights, and see he's not in his bed. We then go downstairs (my aunt and uncle's room was on the main floor), Trilly still in Angela's hands, and hear my aunt and James in the washroom. Turns out James had been sick for the last few hours and my aunt had been up all night with him as he was throwing up in the washroom. And when we saw the scene we immediately could tell that James had nothing to do with Trilly. Like, it was just one of those really believable situations where we could tell James truly had no idea what was going on. We even felt bad for him. And, to top it off, when we told him the story in the morning it scared him so much that he didn't go into the basement for like a year. Anyway, it just seemed really sincere.
So Angela and I went back up to her room and we were like, "are we *sure* we didn't bring this up here last night? Are we sure? We must have." Anyway, while we were really freaked, we figured that it was explainable. We knew the doll obviously didn't walk itself upstairs like it was some horror movie. But, because we were fourteen and all for the drama (and I remember us having the "better safe than sorry" mindset) we called her dog upstairs (Bella, a poorly behaved black poodle). We started playing tug-of-war with Bella, using Trilly as the toy, and eventually Bella ripped her to shreds.
Anyway, funny memory, making the dog rip up the doll, we laughed and thought we were tough and cool, then we went back to bed.
The next morning, instead of all of us going skiing, it was just Me, Angela, and my Uncle, because James stayed home with my aunt on account of his stomach flu. But when we woke up, Angela was acting weird. Nothing too noteable, just really bizarrely quiet as she moved around her room to get her clothes out of her drawers and get changed. She didn't, like, acknowledge me in her room. I said something like "morning" when she didn't acknowledge me, and she looked at me and then turned back to her drawers and kept getting changed.
And she was looking around weirdly, I remember that too. Almost like she'd misplaced something, but a little more dazed than that. Just moving strangely. Then she went downstairs without saying anything to me at all. I thought maybe she was just super groggy... but it still felt really weird.
When I went downstairs, she was standing at the island in the kitchen buttering toast that my uncle had put in for us. I distinctly remember walking up beside her and the toaster, pulling a piece of toast out of it, putting it on the plate that had been set out for me, and when I dipped the knife into the container of butter, Angela smacked my hand away, hard, and looked at me and snapped, "what are you doing? Don't take things that aren't yours". I was shocked. It honestly felt like being struck in the face. She'd never spoken to me like that before, and even though we were like siblings, I still felt that kind of mortifying embarrassment you feel when someone calls you out on misbehaving, even though I wasn't doing anything wrong; but it *was* her family's butter and bread? I don't know. That's what I remember thinking. But it was awkward and weird and I just said, "um, what?" and then she didn't say anything, just kept buttering her toast, and I mumbled some apology.
The three of us then drove to the ski hill and, I kid you not, Angela and I didn't speak the whole way there. I had no idea what was up, but I didn't want to ask with her dad in the car.
Then when we got to the ski hill, we went skiing just the two of us and on the chairlift during the first run I mustered up the courage to say "Hey, did I do something wrong? I feel like you're really mad at me or something". And she turned to look at me and was confused. Not friendly, not warm, not reassuring, but confused. It was almost as if I was a stranger and she looked at me as if to say, "sorry, who are you? why are you talking to me?"
And she responded in a formal way: "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about". The distance in her voice was really eerie, and I started to think maybe this had to do with the doll incident the night before and either she was trying to extend the prank, and she was the one who had put the doll on the chair, OR she felt guilty that we ruined this family doll and she resented me for being a part of it. Anyway, when we got to the top of the hill, she skied down quickly and didn't wait for me to go back up again, and we ended up skiing separately.
I felt awkward and embarrassed like I'd done something wrong. I ended up skiing with my uncle who asked me what was up with us, and I just said I didn't know. Then after our day of skiing, he dropped me off at my family's cottage and continued on home with Angela.
For the rest of that whole school year (we were in ninth grade), Angela and I didn't really speak. It was really sad. We were like sisters before, but better because we weren't actually sisters, but cousins, and so we were like best friends that were related. Seriously, we were really close. And it really messed me up, I felt like she just ghosted me. I would text her and call her house but she was always "fine" or "with Jessica" (her best friend). I chalked it up to her just outgrowing me, and it really fucking sucked. But, to be honest, it was so jarring and such a stark shift that I was more confused than hurt. I talked to my mom about it and she explained to me how rough it can be to be a teenage girl.
But that following summer, we were up at our cottages again, and our family had a barbecue and invited over my aunt and uncle and Angela and James. I had seen Angela at family things a couple of times since and she would just kind of ignore me and spend the whole time texting, which is what I expected this time.
Sure enough, that's what happened for the first bit of the barbecue. But then when the food was ready, she came up beside me as we were dressing our hamburgers at the condiment table and said, "oh my god, remember that night we got Bella to ruin Trilly?" and I was so shocked by her friendly tone, by her acting as though she were picking up a conversation we just were having, that I just stared at her and said, "yeah, that was crazy". And she said, "yeah, so funny. Anyway, how've you been?" again, really different and formal. I almost couldn't get past how altered her tone was, like we'd never even met. In fact she seemed so sprightly and kind that I thought she was mocking me.
And our relationship since that barbecue carried on just like that. She started talking to me more, but I'd reference inside jokes or ways we used to be or things we used to do and she never really latched on to any of them. I was caught between thinking she'd outgrown me and thinking she was like embarrassed of our closeness before or something and was trying to move on. I talked to my mom about this, and again got the speech about how teenage girls can be really cruel/strange sometimes.
So until we were about 22, we were like that. Nice to each other, talking sometimes, not that close, and I learned to not try and act like we were all close or that we had been close. I talked to my friends about it too and they said it was normal for friendships to change like that. But something felt off about this. I started to honestly feel crazy for hanging on to this "before" memory of Angela so much.
Then when we were 22, we grew apart. This time, it was mutual and natural. I moved cities, and she got engaged and became a real estate agent and we just had nothing to talk about. It was gradual and I didn't notice it much. Which brings us to eight years later, just last week.
I was travelling in Iceland. I had to be there (very randomly) for a conference/workshop I was leading for work, and turned it into a vacation. Rented a car, decided I was going to drive across the island after the conference was over and stay on the east part and explore a bit.
Day four of my seven-day long road trip. It's mid-afternoon, I'm hungry. I've been driving for three hours and have come across no sign of civilization at all, and it was fifty miles to the next town. But then, voila! A little gas station/general store/cafe! Perfect!
Ah, fuck. I literally can't believe I'm writing this. It makes me sound fucking crazy. But here I go.
I park in the little three-car parking lot. I get out of my car, step onto the gravel, the sky is white, expansive, there are mountains everywhere around me, fields, sheep. The air is fresh. Seriously middle of nowhere. I walk up the wooden rickety steps and push open the door and hear the door chimes go. A man walks out from the back room and greets me, and the place is cute. There's a little handwritten menu above the cash register and I asked him in my pathetic Icelandic/English mix if I could have the gravlax toast. He's very friendly and kind and says yes, asks if I want a coffee, I say yes please, blah blah, he rings me up at the cash register, and I go and sit at the one table they have and wait for my food.
I look around - it's mostly a fishing supplies store with some general groceries. The man opens the door to the room from which he came, the kitchen I suppose, and says the order to the lady in the back who looks like she's doing some prep cooking. Immediately I stop. It's freaking Angela!!!! Or I thought it was.
Now, remember, I hadn't seen Angela in about eight years. Since her dad passed away when we were twenty-three, and because I'd moved cities, we just had no reason to really see each other especially after growing so far apart.
So, like, OH MY GOD, it's Angela! She's working at a random little general store in middle-of-nowhere Iceland! But wait, I thought. No. This is obviously not-fucking-Angela. Angela is a real estate agent in my hometown. I'd obviously know if she lived in Iceland lol. Right? I don't really use social media but the odd time I do, she'll pop up here and there. But I guess not enough for me to *confirm* she still lived in my hometown.
But anyway, she looked enough like Angela that I went right up to the cash register and rang the little bell and the guy came back out and when he opened the door I was able to get another look at her, and my heart skidded. A chill spread across my crown. It was one hundred percent Angela. Like, my full-on cousin. So, looking over the guys' shoulder, RIGHT AT ANGELA, I smile and say, "Angela!! Oh my god!!" and before she could respond, the door shut again.
And the guy at the cash smiled really big, a nice, friendly, smile and he looked surprised as well, and pointed back over his shoulder and then at me, as if to say, "you two know each other?!" which confirmed for me that her name was Angela, because he seemed really delighted at the coincidence. Expecting her to emerge from the kitchen, I walked around to behind the cash register (the invitation was implied by the guy) and he put his arm back to open the door for me, or for Angela, whom we both expected to be making her way over to me, too.
When he opened the door, she was head-down again, chopping vegetables. I walked through the door and said, "Angela? Angela!" smiling, thinking she hadn't seen me yet or realized who I was, all context considered. She looked up at me, and then quickly, as though avoiding my eyes, looked down. "Hey", she said, quietly, at the cutting board.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? Before I could ask anything, she said, "I'm really sorry, okay?"
What?
She repeated herself and then continued: "I'm really sorry okay? But we can't talk".
I actually, like, had no clue what was happening. I was looking into the eyes of my cousin whom I hadn't seen in forever in some random fucking shack in Iceland and she was acting skittish and afraid. I opened my mouth to protest and she said, "I need you to leave," then she called the guy's name and said something to him in Icelandic. She can speak Icelandic??!
The guy came in, his demeanour totally different. Almost like he was a bouncer. He gestured to my coffee and toast that were ready to go, took them in his hands and ushered me out of the kitchen and I could tell I no longer was welcome. Either I wasn't welcome or I was in danger, or both. It felt more like the former. And I don't think the guy had any idea what was going on, either. I think she must have said something to him like "I don't know this person, this person is crazy" or something. That's how he was acting toward me.
I got in my car, I drove five minutes down the road, and pulled over. I miraculously had service and I called my mom and told her everything. She kind of just laughed at me and was like "Many-Patient2894, that obviously wasn't Angela". And joked about me making some poor Icelandic woman feel extremely weird. But based off the guy's reaction when I said her name, her name was Angela, and the way she spoke to me and said sorry and said we couldn't talk, like, she knew me too. I told my mom all of this and I sounded fucking crazy and she just was basically like, "Haha, yeah, weird". I think she thinks I was making up the part about the apology.
I told all of my friends this, when I was still in Iceland, and they all reacted like my mom did. At this point, I had four days left in the country, and I kept wanting to return to the cafe/general store. But I didn't. I started to think maybe the woman thought I was someone else. But then I kept coming back to, but wait, this person was Angela. Her name, her body, her face, like I just didn't know what to do.
This brings me to two days ago, the day before yesterday, when I returned to Canada, where I live. It's eight o'clock in the morning and I'm on my way to work. In my car. Just picked up a coffee. Exhausted. Not thinking about Angela at all. Thinking about my laundry, my bills, what I'm going to make for dinner. The traffic is bad and it's a miserable day outside.
My phone dings. It's a random number. The text reads: "Hey! It's Angela! How was your trip?"
Haven't heard from her in eight years (except for our run-in in Iceland, if indeed it was one). No "how have you been??", no "I miss you!!" no "long time no talk/see!". I also hadn't posted anything about my trip on social media. Unless you were a friend of mine, you didn't know I was there.
I immediately call my mom, who follows Angela on Instagram, and ask her to look at her profile. Sure enough, Angela (not at all to my mother's surprise), is posting stories of the bachelorette party she's at in Miami. She's, like, not at all in Iceland.
I have no idea what's going on. And the way Angela/the woman spoke to me in the cafe had the cadence and softness that Angela had, and in my memory, lost, starting the morning of the skiing after the incident with Trilly and the dog. For some reason I'm fully back there in my memory now, realizing that that was the first morning of "the new Angela", the one that seemed to have no emotional memory of me at all. Like, the Iceland Angela seemed more like the "before" Angela.
I haven't replied to the text. I have no idea if it was bachelorette party Miami Angela or Iceland Angela that sent me the message, the area code is from neither Angela's hometown or Iceland.
I need advice, I have no idea what to do or who to talk to. Do I reply to the text? What do I say? I feel like the real Angela is fucking trapped in Iceland or something and has been for a long time. Or I don't even know. I have no idea what to do.

My son is 8 and was diagnosed at 5 with ADHD combined presentation. It’s been a whirlwind since then, as I have tried everything to establish supports for him in and out of school. He has an IEP, he’s in an ICT class with social skills group therapy twice a week, OT once a week. He’s also in therapy outside of school, plays a ton of sports, eats well and gets 10-11 hours of sleep a night. He’s participated in group therapy around anxiety and social skills as well.
His working memory, processing speed are greatly impacted by the ADHD, but his IQ is very high. In school he struggles to sit still and work independently, does not enjoy writing, will not sit still to read more than a few pages, or persevere through work that is challenging to him.
Also, he’s really struggling with impulsivity and emotional regulation at home and in school and after school . He gets into “trouble” so often at school that he believes all adults in the community don’t like him and he fears when an adult approaches him, usually he’ll respond by saying, “uh oh am I in trouble?”
And I hate that this is becoming a part of his identity at school, because he’s so start, funny, empathetic, and it’s breaking my heart to see him begin to think so poorly of himself.
Today I got a call from the school asking for him to take the specialized bus services next year so that he can have an adult monitor his behavior on the bus. The most recent incident was taking a smaller child’s umbrella without asking and accidentally breaking it. Last time he told a kid she was horrible at a game, she cried, and when he went in to apologize with a hug and whacked her in the head by accident with his water bottle. she got off the bus in tears. I am certain that other parents are complaining about my son and want him off the bus.
He has a well visit next week and I’m going to bring up meds. I’ve heard different things like wait until puberty, it will stunt growth - just a general sense that 8 is too young. But in my heart I think it’s time.
Any advice you can share would be greatly appreciated. I just feel so sad for him, and guilty for the time I spent trying to exhaust all other options.

I’ve played mass effect since middle school. It’s undoubtedly my favorite game franchise! However, I’ve always been in it for the story and lore and so usually only played on normal difficulty. A little over 2 weeks ago I decided to stop being a wimp and go for an insanity run. I decided to stick with my favorite class vanguard (although in my current position I wish I’d chosen engineer). Now I’m inexperienced, but not a fool. I knew going in things would be different and I couldn’t just biotic charge my way through every level. I’ve taken things slow, I’ve used my squad mates powers more and strategically positioned them, I’ve ducked and covered and taken pot shots. Ultimately I’ve had so much fun!
I breezed through ME1 no problem, ME2 was a little more difficult but still fun and I knocked it out in like a week, now I’m on ME3… holy shit. Right out the gate I noticed my health being cut down like butter, but like before I adapted around that and changed my style as needed. I got through the start and decided to get as much side stuff done as possible before starting the war summit and I think many of you may know where this is headed. Grissom Academy. Specifically the atrium…
Problem 1 is that squad mates won’t follow me into the atrium unless I manually order them to. Even then sometimes 1 of them won’t. The endless smoke bombs make it impossible to target, there’s so sooooo many engineers placing endless turrets, there’s the 1 shot grenades being constantly thrown, the ATLAS too far away to really do much about taking pot shots at you. Every time a turret stops shooting I try to peak out of cover and attack it, but then without fail a grenade is thrown and I have to run. Idk if it’s dumb luck or programmed that way. Every time I pick Cerberus troops off more and more keep coming and that damn door to the 2nd half never seems to open. I got to the 2nd half once but elected to restart the mission with different squad mates when I kept dying and they kept not following me. My best run in this 2nd attempt I killed all the engineers and then just died when the centurions decided to rush my position all at once. I’m literally trapped in this mission because I got to it in 1 go from starting the game and didn’t take a save file. So now my only load options are to restart the mission or load the last checkpoint. My only other option is to restart the game entirely it seems. I’ve been stuck for 2 days.
Idk what this says about my skill (or lack thereof), but I didn’t have this kind of trouble in ANY other part of the trilogy so far. Even the suicide mission I beat with little trouble. Does anyone have suggestions? Any strategies? At this point I’m ready to just start over from scratch and put this off until I’m actually ready later in the game, but I’d rather succeed if anything for my own pride.

When you reach door 60 you can go through a crack wall and find yourself in a secret room that leads to The Rooms, a reference to a game of the same name that inspired Doors. When dying to an entity in this place, we are not greeted by Guiding Light (GL) but instead by the yellow Curious Light (CL). The behavior of CL is odd, it’s quite vague and generally less helpful than GL, but it does encourage the player to come back implying that it needs the players help for something. It is suspected that CL requires the player to be able to escape The Rooms because in the recent Backdoor update, upon leaving The Rooms or The Backdoor, the player exits through a doorframe covered in yellow cracks and stars.
Speaking of which, backtracking to Door 60 there is a painting that has no title of a large yellow star. It is suspected this star is a symbol that represents CL.
Processing img ofihp1mdaa0d1...
This painting hides more secrets however. Also in this room are 3 chairs placed together. As far as I remember, these chairs have always been in this room, and I thought of them as significant but with nothing to connect it to. This is no longer the case as of the modifiers update because now, if you enter this room with at least 1 modifier turned on, the painting changes to this:
Processing img 27omnf2taa0d1...
Two more symbols appear on the painting, one of a blue crescent moon, and one of the red modifier icon. If CL is connected to the star icon, then who is connected to the other two? The crescent moon is obviously Guiding Light, sharing the same blue color and the crescent moon icon appearing when using the crucifix. The modifier icon however doesn’t belong to a light we’ve met yet, they have however made appearances. But first I need to talk about what the lights are, and what they want. When a player uses the crucifix, one of the symbols that appears is a closed string of wingdings, which when translated and put through a Caeser cipher translates to, “One Of The Three Architects Marked By Celestials Assists You”. Three architects, three icons, three chairs, three lights. So the lights are referred to as architects, but what does this mean? Game Theory believes the reason they are called Architects is the lights have the ability to change the layout of The Hotel, and GL uses this ability to turn The Hotel into a labyrinth keeping the hostile entities trapped inside.
In The Hotel the players goal is to make it to Door 100. The reason for this isn’t clear, but I speculate that in the upcoming Mines update there is some kind of escape from The Hotel for the player. Guiding Light seems to support the player in this endeavor, remembering the past deaths of players, which suggests that death itself is not an escape from The Hotel. El Goblino mentions other humans he has seen attempting to reach Door 100, so I believe that humans who become trapped in The Hotel need to reach The Mines in order to escape, and every time they die they reappear at the beginning of The Hotel and GL assists them each time. GL assists the player by glowing in certain areas to highlight them, items like the candle and the crucifix to defend against the enemies, and of course providing tips for dealing with the entities upon death. Finally I believe the rift in the Electrical Room that stores items to be used in another run is another power of GL (which is important later). Curious Light as already mentioned is less helpful than GL but nonetheless needs the player’s help in The Rooms. In the Backdoor update CL seems more acquainted with the player and more inclined to help, giving better tips, providing Starlight Vials with his star icon, and placing the levers in The Backdoor to keep Haste at bay further supporting the lights ability to change The Hotel as the Architects.
But what about the third architect, represented by the red modifier icon? With the evidence I have gathered, I believe this architect is a malevolent entity allied with the hostile entities. In a post by they suggest looking at the painting like a coordinate plane, with GL’s icon falling in the Positive, Positive section suggesting to symbolize GL as a force of good, CL falling dead center to symbolize neutrality, both of which makes a lot of sense given their personalities, and finally the modifier icon falling into the Negative, Negative section symbolizing our final architect as a force of evil. How do we prove this? First let’s look at the modifiers themselves, since this light is clearly connected to them. The modifiers are able to control the entities behavior, affect The Hotel, and even disable Guiding Light! This isn’t the only instance of modifiers affecting GL either, when modifiers are turned on GL is not present to give tips on the entities and the biggest piece of evidence suggesting rivalry between this architect and GL is that the more modifiers are turned on, the SMALLER GL’s icon gets in the painting.
Processing img lusrzpwdba0d1...
Next we have the red barrier that blocks access to The Rooms when modifiers are turned on. We know this is an ability of the Architects because CL does the same thing for The Backdoor until players reach The Rooms for the first time. Why would the Red Light do this? I speculate it is because it (and GL) don’t have much control over areas like The Rooms or The Backdoor since you can’t use modifiers in those areas.
Finally I want to look at the Tower Heroes collab event. While the event itself is not canon to the lore, I want to point out an interesting detail from this event. When playing a Doors-themed level you typically are assisted by GL giving tips in between each wave of enemies. CL also makes an appearance in this event in Adventure mode giving hints to the secret Void boss fight. However, one particular Weekly Challenge during that event called, “Hotel Visitors” had the player assume the role of Figure defending the Library. This time, instead of GL giving tips we are assisted by something speaking in RED text, which the community referred to as Mischievous Light. They could have just as easily made GL talk during this challenge but they specifically chose to replace GL with something else. Not only that, they gave this Mischievous Light some personality, referring to the enemies as “trespassers”. It just fits so perfectly that I can’t help but believe it to be intentional.
Processing img tsy0yrfpka0d1...
Now that I’ve thoroughly explained the Red Light/Mischievous Light (ML), let’s circle back to Curious Light. Going back to the Door 60 painting, there is one more detail I’d like to discuss, and that is the fact that CL’s icon is much larger than GL’s or ML’s. I believe this is a representation of how powerful each Architect actually is. This is supported by GL’s icon shrinking when the player adds more modifiers, suggesting that they weaken GL. Furthermore GL and ML seem to possess a different set of powers, while CL seems to possess it’s own unique powers as well being able to replicate the other Architect’s. Like GL, Curious Light does glow on the entrance to and exits from The Rooms, and if we use the Bottle of Starlight bought at the end of The Backdoor on GL’s rift, it creates a second yellow rift. We don’t currently have any more similar powers between CL and ML besides the barriers they both create but I believe ML doesn’t consider CL an enemy like it does with GL (more on that in a second). Finally, only CL seems to be able to affect The Rooms and The Backdoor.
When dying to Blitz for the first time in The Backdoor we are greeted by Curious Light who drops a very strange detail:
Processing img oea3ahgdja0d1...
We haven’t met anyone in The Hotel that’s been confirmed to be female so who could Curious Light be referring to here? The identity of this character is not yet clear, but the first candidate that people have suspected is Guiding Light, and sure on the surface that makes sense; they’re both Architects and we’ve seen them both talk but not necessarily to each other. But upon further inspection it doesn’t make sense for GL to be this character for one specific reason: the fact that this character decided to give Blitz a name. According to dialogue from GL and a tweet from the devs, the names of the entities in The Hotel were given by the player, NOT GL. If other humans have been to The Hotel then GL has been there for some time and has never bothered to give the entities names, so why would it start now? You know who’s more likely to give these entities names? Mischievous Light, the architect supposedly allied with these entities. This belief is shared by Game Theory, which I was super excited to see in their most recent theory.
So what is ML up to talking with CL? I believe that ML wants CL and possibly the player to join them. If CL is the most powerful architect and has dominion over The Rooms and The Backdoor, they would be a great ally to have. But what about the player? As we’ve discussed, despite CL’s power, they need the player’s help to access other areas, and in The Mines possibly will exist an escape from The Hotel that ONLY the player has the ability to open. If we take the Tower Heroes collab into consideration, ML initially sees players as “trespassers” and wants the entities to kill them. However, what if the modifiers are a test by ML to evaluate the player’s usefulness? Furthermore, not all modifiers are bad and actually make the game easier, so while ML definitely sees GL as an enemy, it may not be the same case for CL and the player. I speculate that Mischievous Light’s ultimate goal is to use the player to help the entities escape The Hotel, bringing death and destruction to whatever unfortunate world awaits behind the exit door.
But that’s just a theory, a DOORS THEORY! Thanks for reading!

When you reach door 60 you can go through a crack wall and find yourself in a secret room that leads to The Rooms, a reference to a game of the same name that inspired Doors. When dying to an entity in this place, we are not greeted by Guiding Light (GL) but instead by the yellow Curious Light (CL). The behavior of CL is odd, it’s quite vague and generally less helpful than GL, but it does encourage the player to come back implying that it needs the players help for something. It is suspected that CL requires the player to be able to escape The Rooms because in the recent Backdoor update, upon leaving The Rooms or The Backdoor, the player exits through a doorframe covered in yellow cracks and stars.
Speaking of which, backtracking to Door 60 there is a painting that has no title of a large yellow star. It is suspected this star is a symbol that represents CL.
Processing img ofihp1mdaa0d1...
This painting hides more secrets however. Also in this room are 3 chairs placed together. As far as I remember, these chairs have always been in this room, and I thought of them as significant but with nothing to connect it to. This is no longer the case as of the modifiers update because now, if you enter this room with at least 1 modifier turned on, the painting changes to this:
Processing img 27omnf2taa0d1...
Two more symbols appear on the painting, one of a blue crescent moon, and one of the red modifier icon. If CL is connected to the star icon, then who is connected to the other two? The crescent moon is obviously Guiding Light, sharing the same blue color and the crescent moon icon appearing when using the crucifix. The modifier icon however doesn’t belong to a light we’ve met yet, they have however made appearances. But first I need to talk about what the lights are, and what they want. When a player uses the crucifix, one of the symbols that appears is a closed string of wingdings, which when translated and put through a Caeser cipher translates to, “One Of The Three Architects Marked By Celestials Assists You”. Three architects, three icons, three chairs, three lights. So the lights are referred to as architects, but what does this mean? Game Theory believes the reason they are called Architects is the lights have the ability to change the layout of The Hotel, and GL uses this ability to turn The Hotel into a labyrinth keeping the hostile entities trapped inside.
In The Hotel the players goal is to make it to Door 100. The reason for this isn’t clear, but I speculate that in the upcoming Mines update there is some kind of escape from The Hotel for the player. Guiding Light seems to support the player in this endeavor, remembering the past deaths of players, which suggests that death itself is not an escape from The Hotel. El Goblino mentions other humans he has seen attempting to reach Door 100, so I believe that humans who become trapped in The Hotel need to reach The Mines in order to escape, and every time they die they reappear at the beginning of The Hotel and GL assists them each time. GL assists the player by glowing in certain areas to highlight them, items like the candle and the crucifix to defend against the enemies, and of course providing tips for dealing with the entities upon death. Finally I believe the rift in the Electrical Room that stores items to be used in another run is another power of GL (which is important later). Curious Light as already mentioned is less helpful than GL but nonetheless needs the player’s help in The Rooms. In the Backdoor update CL seems more acquainted with the player and more inclined to help, giving better tips, providing Starlight Vials with his star icon, and placing the levers in The Backdoor to keep Haste at bay further supporting the lights ability to change The Hotel as the Architects.
But what about the third architect, represented by the red modifier icon? With the evidence I have gathered, I believe this architect is a malevolent entity allied with the hostile entities. In a post by they suggest looking at the painting like a coordinate plane, with GL’s icon falling in the Positive, Positive section suggesting to symbolize GL as a force of good, CL falling dead center to symbolize neutrality, both of which makes a lot of sense given their personalities, and finally the modifier icon falling into the Negative, Negative section symbolizing our final architect as a force of evil. How do we prove this? First let’s look at the modifiers themselves, since this light is clearly connected to them. The modifiers are able to control the entities behavior, affect The Hotel, and even disable Guiding Light! This isn’t the only instance of modifiers affecting GL either, when modifiers are turned on GL is not present to give tips on the entities and the biggest piece of evidence suggesting rivalry between this architect and GL is that the more modifiers are turned on, the SMALLER GL’s icon gets in the painting.
Processing img lusrzpwdba0d1...
Next we have the red barrier that blocks access to The Rooms when modifiers are turned on. We know this is an ability of the Architects because CL does the same thing for The Backdoor until players reach The Rooms for the first time. Why would the Red Light do this? I speculate it is because it (and GL) don’t have much control over areas like The Rooms or The Backdoor since you can’t use modifiers in those areas.
Finally I want to look at the Tower Heroes collab event. While the event itself is not canon to the lore, I want to point out an interesting detail from this event. When playing a Doors-themed level you typically are assisted by GL giving tips in between each wave of enemies. CL also makes an appearance in this event in Adventure mode giving hints to the secret Void boss fight. However, one particular Weekly Challenge during that event called, “Hotel Visitors” had the player assume the role of Figure defending the Library. This time, instead of GL giving tips we are assisted by something speaking in RED text, which the community referred to as Mischievous Light. They could have just as easily made GL talk during this challenge but they specifically chose to replace GL with something else. Not only that, they gave this Mischievous Light some personality, referring to the enemies as “trespassers”. It just fits so perfectly that I can’t help but believe it to be intentional.
Processing img tsy0yrfpka0d1...
Now that I’ve thoroughly explained the Red Light/Mischievous Light (ML), let’s circle back to Curious Light. Going back to the Door 60 painting, there is one more detail I’d like to discuss, and that is the fact that CL’s icon is much larger than GL’s or ML’s. I believe this is a representation of how powerful each Architect actually is. This is supported by GL’s icon shrinking when the player adds more modifiers, suggesting that they weaken GL. Furthermore GL and ML seem to possess a different set of powers, while CL seems to possess it’s own unique powers as well being able to replicate the other Architect’s. Like GL, Curious Light does glow on the entrance to and exits from The Rooms, and if we use the Bottle of Starlight bought at the end of The Backdoor on GL’s rift, it creates a second yellow rift. We don’t currently have any more similar powers between CL and ML besides the barriers they both create but I believe ML doesn’t consider CL an enemy like it does with GL (more on that in a second). Finally, only CL seems to be able to affect The Rooms and The Backdoor.
When dying to Blitz for the first time in The Backdoor we are greeted by Curious Light who drops a very strange detail:
Processing img oea3ahgdja0d1...
We haven’t met anyone in The Hotel that’s been confirmed to be female so who could Curious Light be referring to here? The identity of this character is not yet clear, but the first candidate that people have suspected is Guiding Light, and sure on the surface that makes sense; they’re both Architects and we’ve seen them both talk but not necessarily to each other. But upon further inspection it doesn’t make sense for GL to be this character for one specific reason: the fact that this character decided to give Blitz a name. According to dialogue from GL and a tweet from the devs, the names of the entities in The Hotel were given by the player, NOT GL. If other humans have been to The Hotel then GL has been there for some time and has never bothered to give the entities names, so why would it start now? You know who’s more likely to give these entities names? Mischievous Light, the architect supposedly allied with these entities. This belief is shared by Game Theory, which I was super excited to see in their most recent theory.
So what is ML up to talking with CL? I believe that ML wants CL and possibly the player to join them. If CL is the most powerful architect and has dominion over The Rooms and The Backdoor, they would be a great ally to have. But what about the player? As we’ve discussed, despite CL’s power, they need the player’s help to access other areas, and in The Mines possibly will exist an escape from The Hotel that ONLY the player has the ability to open. If we take the Tower Heroes collab into consideration, ML initially sees players as “trespassers” and wants the entities to kill them. However, what if the modifiers are a test by ML to evaluate the player’s usefulness? Furthermore, not all modifiers are bad and actually make the game easier, so while ML definitely sees GL as an enemy, it may not be the same case for CL and the player. I speculate that Mischievous Light’s ultimate goal is to use the player to help the entities escape The Hotel, bringing death and destruction to whatever unfortunate world awaits behind the exit door.
But that’s just a theory, a DOORS THEORY! Thanks for reading!

Hello and welcome to my post. I would like to make a friend.
Here are my interests:
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Well that about wraps it up for my interests. I would like to add a few things before I finish. I am neurodivergent (autism spectrum) and struggle with mental health. I respect the struggles others have but due to certain negative experiences I do not want to befriend people with BPD and such. In fact I would prefer another Aspie. I am rather introverted and I do not have a large social circle. If I like someone I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I have been hurt in the past by caring about someone much more than they about me so I would like to avoid such things now. Also, since this might bother some, I am reasonably conservative in my views.
If you decide to message me I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and put the English translation of my title as your own. Take care.

This is a topic I’m very interested in and is extremely controversial for a number of reasons. First of all, what skills someone includes for being the best mc players can vary wildly and all hold equal legitimacy. In my list, I personally focused on the mechanical aspects of minecraft, such as movement, bridging, parkour, pvp (all kinds), gamesense, and stuff like that. Sorry hermitcraft, but I decided not to include skills like game knowledge and building and redstone, as those are completely separate for the most part (but are completely valid metrics, but the list would be completely different barring like Feinberg). Another thing is that it’s impossible to know everyone. Everyone loves to joke about some kid in Russia who has played for 10 hours a day for 10 years and would slosh everyone in everything, and while that does hold some truth, skill doesn’t usually go unnoticed. It’s very likely the actual best players in most given categories will show up in its respective community in one way or another. There are probably a lot of people I forgot to mention, and all I can say to that is sorry I forgor.
Before I get into the list (and you start yelling at me) I wanted to talk a bit more about what communities I looked at when considering this list. An obvious one is the mc event community, as events are the best way of comparing players and seeing who is good at what. Events are one of the only mediums where all different kinds of skills are tested. Like even in just Mcc, an all around player is good at PvP, parkour tech, general movement, elytras, gamesense, etc. I also looked at the speedrunning community, as being a top level speedrunner requires top of the line mechanics and movement, and If I was making a list of the best pure mechanical/aim/whatever players it would be mostly speedrunners. Also I obviously looked at the best all around pvpers, as being good at a lot of different pvp modes requires a lot of mechanical and game knowledge. Included in that are sweats at competitive servers like mcci that challenge a lot of different types of mechanics. Finally, also parkoumovement communities of course. I however did not consider the crazy technical part of this, where they calculate a jump being possible by 0.00000001 blocks and try it for years. All of this being said, being good in one community is not enough. Everyone I decided to include has a ton of proof of them being dominant in a bunch of different areas involving skill and mechanics. Also, there will be obvious biases towards regular content creators as it's just easier to see their skill, sorry not sorry.
I also included a bunch of honorable mentions at the end btw
The List (not ordered):
Coldified
Insane at Pvp, ranked 4th on the tierlist. Insane gamesense and quick mechanics, one of those people who will roll through an entire game if he’s on his A game. Extremely good at movement. Great at parkour and good block placement. Would beat almost everyone on this list (and anywhere for that matter) in a PvP duel no matter the kit. Also one of the best mcci players all around. His skill in mc events and movement on top of his PVP dominance earn him a spot. Bro is gonna wreak havoc in mcc tr pvp games just you wait.
Feinberg
One of the GOATS of speedrunning, especially AA. But what sets him apart from the rest of the speedrunning GOATS? His event dominance. His mechanics are easily matched by a lot of top players, but what isn’t is his gamesense and all-roundness for all aspects of minecraft. Arguably one of the best all rounders out there. One of the best in two categories of minecraft earn him an easy spot. If he keeps playing he’s gonna easily be the best Mcc player.
Kelawesome
The best mc event player by a huge margin. Absurd ability to get first in pretty much any event even if it’s his first time playing and against a stacked roster of insane players. Theres not a single mechanic he’s not GOATED at, competing with the best of any category across all categories. Always does Great in Toph Skybattle challenges and recently top fragged in what I think is still the WR 500 kill race by like 30 mins which is a huge accomplishment. I would consider him a clear #1 if I had more evidence outside of events of his domination, but unfortunately I don’t. Also I’m assuming he’s still the best Mcc tester.
Sandwichlord
One of the best pure mechanical players out there, especially at movement. Arguably one of the best parkour players out there (barring the people who grind for days for one specific triple glass Neo pessi 10 block whatever). insanely great at PvP and event games of all types, and being able to apply his mechanical skill to all walks of minecraft earn him a spot on the list. Another dude who’ll wreak havoc in mcctr movement games especially.
Doogile
One of the best bridgers and one of the best speedrunners earn another one of the best pure mechanics players an easy spot on here. There’s not that many players who can be argued to be the best in two completely unrelated categories of Minecraft. How good is he at PvP? I have no idea, but it can’t be bad considering his aim and movement.
Doozim
One of the best mcci all rounders. A top 5 all time Skybattle player and top Hoplite player with a ton of movement skill as well. Dominates all sorts of tournaments. If I had more proof of all-roundness outside of mcci he would be an arguable #1.
Prusso
Insane at PvP, especially one of the best at sword. What puts him above most other Pvpers, like Coldi, is his equally insane movement. I’ve heard a lot about his dominance in all types of games in event testing against other great players. His mechanics are top of the line and is one of those people who can just run into any fight, in any gamemode, on any server, and just win.
Brunted
Arguably the best mcci player, Brunted is scary all around, being especially deadly at parkour, but is also great at PvP. Honestly, I don’t know all that much about this person apart from their mcci tournament dominance and my interactions with them in games, but that’s alone is enough for me to say they’re well rounded and mechanically gifted enough to make this list. Could be #1 if I know more.
HMs: List of some of the people I considered and why I excluded their general category
Event players: these are people who are extremely well rounded and really good at events, but I’m not quite sure how much it carries over outside events and isn’t quite as strong or well rounded as someone like Kel.
Toph033
Standen05
C10WD
SolawBall69 (would have a good shot at the list if he played more often)
(There are a lot more lesser known ones in less popular events but idk enough about them)
Speedrunners: being a top level speedrunner requires top level mechanics and movement. There’s just a lot of people in this category that I don’t know how good they are outside of speedrunning, even if they’re great no doubt. I’ll name a few but there’s a lot more.
Zylenox
Silverruns (very very close to making the list)
Lowkey
People who I haven’t really heard from in a while, idk if they’re very active anymore in the competitive scene but would be in consideration when they were:
Straight
P0LAND
Mcci sweats: these are most people who are insanely cracked at one or a few specific Mcci games but I don’t have enough proof outside that. A bunch of these people and more I don’t name would probably make the list if I knew more about them, but I don't, so oh well.
Notfelipebtw
Urchent
Rqzorblade
Airokun
Juan clean
Darkleonard2
Any of the top Pvpers on the tierlist: it takes insane game knowledge and mechanics to be as good as the top players are, since they’re all cracked at every pvp mode, but I just don’t know enough about them outside of PvP:
Itzrealme
Marloww
Swight
Etc.
Feel free to roast my opinions.

Hello and welcome to my post. I would like to make a friend.
Here are my interests:
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Well that about wraps it up for my interests. I would like to add a few things before I finish. I am neurodivergent (autism spectrum) and struggle with mental health. I respect the struggles others have but due to certain negative experiences I do not want to befriend people with BPD and such. In fact I would prefer another Aspie. I am rather introverted and I do not have a large social circle. If I like someone I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I have been hurt in the past by caring about someone much more than they about me so I would like to avoid such things now. Also, since this might bother some, I am reasonably conservative in my views.
If you decide to message me I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and put the English translation of my title as your own. Take care.

Hello and welcome to my post. I would like to make a friend.
Here are my interests:
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Well that about wraps it up for my interests. I would like to add a few things before I finish. I am neurodivergent (autism spectrum) and struggle with mental health. I respect the struggles others have but due to certain negative experiences I do not want to befriend people with BPD and such. In fact I would prefer another Aspie. I am rather introverted and I do not have a large social circle. If I like someone I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I have been hurt in the past by caring about someone much more than they about me so I would like to avoid such things now. Also, since this might bother some, I am reasonably conservative in my views.
If you decide to message me I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and put the English translation of my title as your own. Take care.

Megapost: A list of statements, press releases, and other sources reporting and expressing concern and criticism about Israel's war in Gaza and related aspects of the war. (Part 4)

Notes: This is a work that is currently in progress; please check back for updates. Titles have been edited to provide details.
Part 1 is here: https://www.reddit.com/Social_Democracy/comments/1clx1uc/megapost_a_list_of_statements_press_releases_and/
Part 2 is here: https://www.reddit.com/Social_Democracy/comments/1cmjhpk/megapost_a_list_of_statements_press_releases_and/
Part 3 is here: https://www.reddit.com/Social_Democracy/comments/1coups2/megapost_a_list_of_statements_press_releases_and/
Refugee Council of Australia: Our Letter to the Prime Minister regarding the Israel and Gaza Crisis (April 26, 2024): https://www.refugeecouncil.org.au/letter-israel-and-gaza-crisis/
Statement in solidarity with student protests for Gaza [Signed by: 350.org US; 18 Million Rising; 198 methods; Adalah Justice Project; Addameer Prisoner Support and Human Rights Association; AF3IRM; Afghans For A Better Tomorrow; Al-Haq; Alliance of Baptists; American Baptist Churches USA; American Baptist Churches Palestine Israel Network; American Friends Service Committee; American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee (ADC); American Muslim Bar Association; American Muslim Community Foundation; American Muslims for Palestine (AMP); Americans for Justice in Palestine Action (AJP Action); Arab American Civic Council; Arab American Institute; Asian American Advocacy Fund; Better to Speak; Beyt Tikkun: A Synagogue without Walls; Black Lives of Unitarian Universalism (BLUU); Blue Future; Borderlands for Equity; Borderlands Resource Initiative; Breach Collective; Brooklyn For Peace; CAIR Action; CAIR California; CAIR Minnesota; CAIR Oklahoma; CAIR-WA; California Coalition for Women Prisoners; Cameroon American Council; Carceral Tech Resistance Network; Ceasefire Democrats; Ceasefire Now NJ; Center for Constitutional Rights; Center for Popular Democracy Action; Center for Protest Law & Litigation @ Partnership for Civil Justice Fund; Chicago Area Peace Action; Chicago Faith Coalition on Middle East Policy; Christians for a Free Palestine; Civic Ark; Civil Liberties Defense Center; Clockshop; CommonDefense.us; Communities United for Status & Protection (CUSP); Council on American-Islamic Relations; CWA-News Guild Local 38010; Defending Rights & Dissent; Delaware Democratic Socialists of America; Delawareans for Palestinian Human Rights; Detention Watch Network; Disciples Palestine Israel Network; Diverse & Revolutionary Unitarian Universalist Multicultural Ministries (DRUUMM); Doctors Against Genocide; Dream Defenders; Dutch Scholars for Palestine; Eindhoven Students 4 Palestine; Emgage Action; En Conjunto; Episcopal Peace Fellowship-Palestine Israel Network; Faith for Black Lives; Faith in Texas; Fellowship of Reconciliation; Fight for the Future; For All; Freedom Farm Community; Freedom Oklahoma; Freedom To Thrive; Friends of Sabeel North America (FOSNA); Future Coalition; Gen-Z for Change; Gender Justice Action and Gender Justice; Get Free; Global Campaign to Reclaim People's Sovereignty, Dismantle Corporate Power & Stop Impunity; Green Mountain Solidarity With Palestine; Green New Deal Network; Greenpeace USA; Hawai'i for Palestine; Health Justice Commons; Helena (Montana) Service for Peace and Justice; Highlander Research and Education Center; Hindus for Human Rights; Historians for Peace and Democracy; Human Dignity Project (THDP); IfNotNow Movement; IfNotNow New Jersey; Immigrant Defense Project; Immigrant Justice Network; Immigrants Act Now; Indian American Muslim Council (IAMC); Indiana Center for Middle East Peace; Institute for Policy Studies New Internationalism Project; Interfaith Ceasefire; International Jewish Anti-Zionist Network; International Mayan League; InterReligious Task Force on Central America; Iowans For Palestine; Islamic Society of North America (ISNA); Islamophobia Studies Center; Israel/Palestine Mission Network of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.); Jewish Voice for Peace; Jewish Voice for Peace-Hawai’i; Jews For Racial & Economic Justice (JFREJ); Just Foreign Policy; Justice Democrats; Just Futures Law; Justice for All; Kairos USA; Libyan American Alliance; LittleSis / Public Accountability Initiative; Living Water Inclusive Catholic Community; Long Island Progressive Coalition; Make the Road Nevada; Malaya Georgia; Massachusetts Peace Action; Mennonite Action; Mennonite Action WA; Migrant Roots Media; Minnesota Peace Project; Mondoweiss; Movement for Black Lives; MPower Change Action Fund; MSA West; Muslim Advocates; Muslim Community Network; Muslim Counterpublics Lab; Muslim Power Building Project; Muslims for Just Futures; Muslims for Progressive Values; National Arab American Women’s Association (NAAWA); National Domestic Workers Alliance Staff Union, CWA Local 1180; National Iranian American Council; National Lawyers Guild; National Lawyers Guild - St. Louis Chapter; National Network for Immigrant and Refugee Rights (NNIRR); National Partnership for New Americans; New Hampshire Veterans for Peace; New York City Veterans For Peace; The New Justice Project Minnesota; NH Peace Action; North American Students of Cooperation; No Separate Justice; North Carolina Peace Action; The Oakland Institute; Office of Peace, Justice, and Ecological Integrity/Sisters of Charity of Saint Elizabeth; Our Revolution; Palestine American League; Palestine Legal; Palestinian American Community Center; Palestinian American Organizations Network (PAON); Palestinian Feminist Collective; Partners for Palestine; Pax Christi New Jersey; Pax Christi New York State; Pax Christi Pacific Northwest; Pax Christi USA; Peace Action; Peace Action New York State; Peace, Justice, Sustainability NOW!; Pediatricians for Palestine; People’s Action; PeoplesHub; Poverty Project at the Institute for Policy Studies; Presbyterian Church (USA), Office of Public Witness; Presbyterian Peace Fellowship; Progressive Democrats of America (PDA); Project ANAR; Project South; Rachel Corrie Foundation for Peace and Justice; Reparation Education Project; Reviving the Islamic Sisterhood for Empowerment; Rise for Palestine; Rising Majority; Rising Tide North America; Rochester Committee on Latin America; RootsAction Education Fund; Sabeel Ecumenical Liberation Theology Centre; Sacramento Regional Coalition for Palestinian Rights; Sound Vision; Starr King School for the Ministry; Students and Faculty for Justice in Palestine at the University of Hawai’i (SFJP); Sunrise Movement; Sur Legal Collaborative; TakeAction Minnesota; Tech Justice Law Project; The Gathering for Justice; The Hague Peace Projects; The Social Justice Center; The Uncommitted National Movement; The Whatcom Peace and Justice Center; Transnational Institute; UndocuBlack Network; Unitarian Universalist Association; Unitarian Universalist Church of the Larger Fellowship; Unitarian Universalist College of Social Justice; Unitarian Universalist Justice Ministry of North Carolina; Unitarian Universalist Mass Action; Unitarian Universalist Peace Ministry Network; Unitarian Universalist Service Committee; Unitarian Universalist Young Adults for Climate Justice (UUYACJ); Unitarian Universalists for Justice in the Middle East; United Church of Christ Palestine Israel Network; United Methodists for Kairos Response (UMKR); United Voices for America; Until Freedom; US Campaign for Palestinian Rights; Veterans For Peace; We Are All America; Wellstone Democratic Renewal Club; Wind of the Spirit Immigrant Resource Center; Women's Institute for Freedom of the Press; Working Families Party; World BEYOND War; Young Democrats of America Black Caucus; Young Democrats of America Environmental Caucus; Youth Leadership Institute] (April 26-29, 2024): https://www.mpowerchange.org/gazastudentprotests & https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdhlWqDQghbVaPb6K7coBoi0o3w1YDfmrPOSbUw5bqNKEnrhg/viewform
Tom Hurwitz: I was arrested protesting at Columbia in ’68. Today’s student encampments carry on a proud, brave tradition: Like the Vietnam War was nearly six decades ago, to many students, Israel’s assault on Gaza feels deeply personal (April 26, 2024): https://forward.com/opinion/607021/columbia-1968-protests-vietnam-gaza-wa
‘We demand an immediate ceasefire in Gaza’ – First Minister of Northern Ireland Michelle O’Neill tells major London demo (April 27, 2024): https://vote.sinnfein.ie/we-demand-an-immediate-ceasefire-in-gaza-oneill-tells-major-london-demo/
Nineteen American Sociological Association Presidents Endorse the Resolution for Justice in Palestine (April 28, 2024): https://www.sociologistsforpalestine.org & https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t-z9OTPbl5JB9_sKnFOqAl-bQV78qZ-SFvjjjMrPUgY/
Robert Reich, former U.S. Secretary of Labor under Bill Clinton: Brief thoughts on the wave of campus protests across America (April 28, 2024): https://robertreich.substack.com/p/my-thoughts-on-the-wave-of-campus
We’re Jewish students at Columbia arrested for protesting Israel’s war (April 28, 2024): https://thehill.com/opinion/education/4626720-were-jewish-students-at-columbia-arrested-for-protesting-israels-wa
American Association of University Professors: In Defense of the Right to Free Speech and Peaceful Protest on University Campuses (April 29, 2024): https://www.aaup.org/media-release/defense-right-free-speech-and-peaceful-protest-university-campuses
Anat Saragusti: Israeli media’s inevitable hysteria over U.S. campus protests: The media’s unbending self-censorship in covering Gaza has made Israelis incapable of seeing foreign criticism as anything other than antisemitism. (April 29, 2024): https://www.972mag.com/campus-protests-gaza-us-students/
Attorneys inside and outside the administration urge Biden to cut off arms to Israel: So far more than 90 lawyers have signed on to a legal letter alleging Israel’s conduct in Gaza violates U.S. and international law. (April 29, 2024): https://www.politico.com/news/2024/04/29/lawyers-israel-arm-sales-biden-00154958
Lemkin Institute for Genocide Prevention: Statement in Support of Students, Faulty at Columbia University (April 29, 2024): https://www.lemkininstitute.com/statements-new-page/statement-in-support-of-students%2C-faulty-at-columbia-university
Mary Lawlor, UN Special Rapporteur on Human Rights Defenders: "I'm hearing disturbing reports that students face suspension if they don’t end their peaceful protests in #Columbiauniversity in the USA. This is a clear violation of their right to peaceful assembly" (April 29, 2024): https://twitter.com/MaryLawlorhrds/status/1785020792197038101
Cas Mudde: Why are US campuses facing an orgy of state repression in the ‘land of the free’? The right has painted nonviolent protests against the war on Gaza as hotbeds of ‘woke’ terrorism. It’s a pretext for repression (April 30, 2024): https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/ap30/us-campus-peace-protests-overreaction-gaza
Joint letter to President Biden on humanitarian risk of Rafah operation in Gaza [Signed by: 350.org; ActionAid USA; Alliance of Baptists; American Friends of Combatants for Peace; American Friends Service Committee; Americares; Amnesty International USA; CARE; Charity & Security Network; Children in Conflict; Christian Aid; Churches for Middle East Peace (CMEP); Center for American Progress; Center for Civilians in Conflict; Center for International Policy; Church World Service; DAWN; Demand Progress Education Fund; Evangelical Lutheran Church in America; Humanity & Inclusion; IM Swedish Development Partners; Indivisible; Islamic Relief USA; Islamic Relief Worldwide; KinderUSA; Maryknoll Office for Global Concerns; MedGlobal; Médecins du Monde / Doctors of the World International Network; Mennonite Central Committee; Middle East Democracy Center; Minnesota Peace Project; MoveOn; Nonviolent Peaceforce; Norwegian Refugee Council USA; Oxfam America; Pax Christi USA; Premiere Urgence Internationale; Presbyterian Church (USA), Office of Public Witness; Refugees International; Save the Children US; SEIU; The Episcopal Church; The Tahrir Institute for Middle East Policy (TIMEP); The United Methodist Church – General Board of Church and Society; Truman Center; Vento di Terra; Win Without War] (April 30, 2024): https://www.nrc.no/news/2024/may/joint-letter-to-president-biden-on-potential-incursion-into-rafah-gaza/
Latino students are key part of pro-Palestine encampment protests (April 30, 2024): https://www.axios.com/2024/04/30/college-encampments-ceasefire-gaza-latino-students
Michael Gould-Wartofsky: Trump Is Wrong. Columbia Isn’t Anything Like Charlottesville: I survived the deadly violence in Charlottesville, and am now a postdoctoral research scholar at Columbia University. To compare the two is unwarranted—and unconscionable. (April 30, 2024): https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-is-wrong-columbia-isnt-anything-like-charlottesville
United Church of Christ Officers issue statement amid ongoing unrest on college campuses; offer continued solidarity with partners and people in the Middle East (April 30, 2024): https://www.ucc.org/ucc-officers-issue-statement-amid-ongoing-unrest-on-college-campuses/
United States of America: UN Human Rights Chief troubled by law enforcement actions against protesters at universities (April 30, 2024): https://www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2024/04/united-states-america-un-human-rights-chief-troubled-law-enforcement-actions
A Statement From Jewish Faculty, Staff, Students, and Alumni Regarding Indiana University's Treatment of Student Protesters ["Actions are being taken in our name, without our consent or request. Such actions, especially those by the administration, often directly contradict the facts we see daily on the ground at campus. We condemn the actions taken by the administration, ISP, and IUPD against the students protesting on Dunn Meadow."] (May 1, 2024): https://bloomingtonian.com/2024/05/01/a-statement-from-jewish-faculty-staff-students-and-alumni-regarding-iustreatment-of-student-protesters/
Charles H.F. Davis III, Jude Paul Dizon, Jessica Hatrick, and Vanessa Miller: Police Repression Is the Problem, Not the Solution (May 1, 2024): https://www.insidehighered.com/opinion/views/2024/05/01/police-repression-problem-not-solution-opinion
Comment from United Auto Workers President Shawn Fain on Mass Arrests of Anti-War Protestors (May 1, 2024): https://uaw.org/comment-from-uaw-president-shawn-fain-on-mass-arrests-of-anti-war-protestors/
Fellowship of Reconciliation Stands in Solidarity with the Students (May 1, 2024): https://forusa.org/fellowship-of-reconciliation-stands-in-solidarity-with-the-students/
Juan González, Veteran of '68 Columbia Strike, Condemns University Leaders' Silence on Gaza Slaughter (May 1, 2024): https://www.democracynow.org/2024/5/1/police_raid_columbia_2024_juan_gonzalez
Mike Littwin: As a veteran of the ’60s campus unrest, I know the value of free speech: Despite what you may hear, most of today’s campus demonstrations, including the one at Auraria, are typically nonviolent. (May 1, 2024): https://coloradosun.com/2024/05/01/israel-gaza-student-demonstrations-opinion-littwin/
On Gaza, NY Catholic Worker community echoes Pope Francis: 'Please! Stop the war.' (May 1, 2024): https://www.ncronline.org/opinion/guest-voices/gaza-ny-catholic-worker-community-echoes-pope-francis-please-stop-war
Senator Bernie Sanders: The billionaires who fund AIPAC are not only concerned about protecting Israel's actions in Gaza — they also want to protect corporate interests. That's why they are targeting progressive lawmakers who stand up for the working class and take on powerful special interests. (May 1, 2024): https://twitter.com/BernieSanders/status/1785684580265074707
Syriac Maronite Archbishops denounce military escalation in southern Lebanon, condemn Israeli actions in Gaza and West Bank (May 1, 2024): https://syriacpress.com/blog/2024/01/05/syriac-maronite-archbishops-denounce-military-escalation-in-southern-lebanon-condemn-israeli-actions-in-gaza-and-west-bank/
The Democratic National Committee's College Democrats of America Slams Biden On Gaza And Backs Campus Protesters (May 1, 2024): https://www.huffpost.com/entry/college-democrats-of-america-statement-biden-gaza-campus-protest_n_663278fce4b0849b2edded55
Tope Folarin, director of the Institute for Policy Studies: We Stand with the Students Protesting the Slaughter in Gaza (May 1, 2024): https://ips-dc.org/we-stand-with-the-students-protesting-the-slaughter-in-gaza/
'You are our hope': Palestinian students find strength in U.S. campus protests: “I feel proud that there is a group of students who feel what we feel now — and are helping and supporting us,” said Reem Musa Suleiman Abu Shinar, speaking to an NBC News crew in the city of Rafah in southern Gaza. (May 1, 2024): https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/palestinian-students-support-us-campus-protests-israel-war-rcna149296
Bernie Sanders in CNN interview: 'This may be Biden’s Vietnam' (May 2, 2024): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6rQmvko18M
Catholic Relief Services representative for Gaza fears possible Rafah invasion (May 2, 2024): https://www.ncronline.org/news/catholic-relief-services-rep-gaza-fears-possible-rafah-invasion
‘Disgrace to diplomacy’: Bosnia accuses Israeli diplomat of genocide denial: Envoy to Serbia draws intense criticism for telling Russian media that calling 1995 Srebrenica massacre a genocide ‘diminishes the importance of that term’ (May 2, 2024): https://www.timesofisrael.com/disgrace-to-diplomacy-bosnia-accuses-israeli-diplomat-of-genocide-denial/
Gazans thank US university protesters as Israel calls for students to be expelled (May 2, 2024): https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/01/middleeast/gaza-children-thank-us-protesters-intl-latam/index.html
Helen Benedict, professor of journalism at Columbia University: ‘US student protests seeking peace in Gaza are the new anti-Vietnam War movement’ (May 2, 2024): https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/us-student-protests-seeking-peace-in-gaza-are-the-new-anti-vietnam-war-movement/articleshow/109766893.cms
Hundreds of U.S. Catholic leaders and laity sign letter urging Permanent Gaza Ceasefire and End to Injustice in Israel and Palestine (May 2, 2024): https://cmep.salsalabs.org/ps-may22024 & https://docs.google.com/document/d/16K1RvL3YdSgSChwO_eWB9iSvIglNP59ahqtAQ1aZiGM/
PREPARED REMARKS: Senator Bernie Sanders on the Nationwide Student Protests and the Ongoing Humanitarian Disaster in Gaza (May 2, 2024): https://www.sanders.senate.gov/press-releases/prepared-remarks-sanders-on-the-nationwide-student-protests-and-the-ongoing-humanitarian-disaster-in-gaza/
Recalling Civil Rights Era Abuses, Legal Defense Fund of the NAACP Roundly Condemns Rising Violations Against Peaceful Protesters and Calls for Immediate Federal Intervention ["Today, the Legal Defense Fund (LDF) issued a statement roundly and unequivocally condemning the rising civil and human rights violations against peaceful protesters across the U.S. and issued a letter calling for the Department of Justice (DOJ) to conduct an immediate investigation into the treatment of peaceful protesters" (May 2, 2024): https://www.naacpldf.org/press-release/recalling-civil-rights-era-abuses-ldf-roundly-condemns-rising-violations-against-peaceful-protesters-and-calls-for-immediate-federal-intervention/
United Nations Development Programme: As war in Gaza enters seventh month, 1.74 million more Palestinians will be pushed into poverty across State of Palestine according to United Nations assessment: UNDP and ESCWA estimate more than two-decades reversal in human development— beyond earliest recorded levels of 2004. (May 2, 2024): https://www.undp.org/papp/press-releases/war-gaza-enters-seventh-month-174-million-more-palestinians-will-be-pushed-poverty-across-state-palestine-according-united
“Workers Have Power”: Thousands Rally in NYC for May Day, Call for Solidarity with Palestine (May 2, 2024): https://www.democracynow.org/2024/5/2/nyc_may_day_rally_palestine_solidarity
A Message to the Protesters From Reverend Jesse L. Jackson, Sr.: A call to keep raising the tempests on campus over the Gazan horror. (May 3, 2024): https://chicagomaroon.com/42811/viewpoints/op-ed/a-message-to-the-protesters-from-reverend-jesse-l-jackson-s
Association of Flight Attendants President Sara Nelson on Mass Arrest of Anti-War Protestors (May 3, 2024): https://www.afacwa.org/mass_arrest_right_to_protest
Rashid Khalidi, Professor of Arab Studies at Columbia University: Opposed to Genocide in Gaza, This Is the Conscience of a Nation Speaking Through Your Kids (May 3, 2024): https://www.commondreams.org/opinion/rashid-khalidi-columbia-gaza-speech
“This Militaristic Approach Has Been a Failure”: Meet Hala Rharrit, First U.S. Diplomat to Quit over Gaza (May 3, 2024): https://www.democracynow.org/2024/5/3/state_dept
Where pro-Palestinian university protests are happening around the world (May 3, 2024): https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/03/world/pro-palestinian-university-protests-worldwide-intl-hnk/index.html
100-year-old Jewish activist Jules Rabin is speaking up again — this time about Gaza [In a podcast on the nonprofit news site VT Digger, Rabin referred to the tragedy unfolding in Gaza as “a piecemeal Holocaust.”] (May 4, 2024): https://forward.com/culture/609442/jules-rabin-vermont-activism-gaza-ukraine-israel/
Israel will not agree to end the war with Hamas as part of any deal [“Israel will under no circumstances agree to the end of the war as part of an agreement to release our abductees," an Israeli official told ABC News on Saturday morning. "As the political echelon decided, the IDF will enter Rafah and destroy the remaining Hamas battalions there - whether or not there will be a temporary ceasefire for the release of our hostages."] (May 4, 2024): https://abcnews.go.com/International/live-updates/israel-hamas-cease-fire-talks/israel-will-not-agree-to-end-the-war-with-hamas-as-part-of-any-deal-109924741?id=109734705
Roseann "Chic" Canfora survived the 1970 Kent State shooting. Here's her message to student activists (May 4, 2024): https://www.npr.org/2024/05/04/1249023924/kent-state-shooting-activists-protests-survivor
‘They’re sending a message’: harsh police tactics questioned amid US campus protest crackdowns (May 4, 2024): https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/may/04/police-tactics-us-campus-protest-crackdowns
Anton Boonzaier: As a South African during apartheid, I admire pro-Palestine protesters’ tenacity (May 5, 2024): https://dailybruin.com/2024/05/05/op-ed-as-a-south-african-during-apartheid-i-admire-pro-palestine-protesters-tenacity
Committee to Protect Journalists condemns Israeli vote to shut down Al Jazeera; warns of alarming precedent (May 5, 2024): https://cpj.org/2024/05/cpj-condemns-israeli-vote-to-shut-down-al-jazeera-warns-of-alarming-precedent/
Union workers join students in rallies Saturday calling for a permanent ceasefire in Gaza [More than 200 people attended the Maine Labor for Palestine and Maine Students for Palestine rally.] (May 5, 2024): https://www.mainepublic.org/news/2024-05-05/union-workers-join-students-in-rallies-saturday-to-free-gaza
Oxfam reaction to Rafah evacuation order (May 6, 2024): https://www.oxfam.org/en/press-releases/oxfam-reaction-rafah-evacuation-order
Patrick Gaspard, president of the Center for American Progress: American politicians forget: disruption and disorder are the point of protests: I have trespassed in peaceful protest. I have shut down government offices in civil disobedience. I have made the powerful uncomfortable. That’s the point (May 6, 2024): https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/may/06/campus-pro-palestinian-protests
Save the Children warns of deadly consequences for children following new relocation orders for families in Rafah (May 6, 2024): https://www.savethechildren.net/news/save-children-warns-deadly-consequences-children-following-new-relocation-orders-families-rafah
The campus protesters for Gaza are making America great again: Readers on the demonstrations sweeping colleges and their hopes for the next generation. (May 6, 2024): https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/05/06/campus-protests-gaza-palestine-vietnam/
United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund (UNICEF): There is ‘nowhere safe to go’ for the 600,000 children of Rafah, warns UNICEF: With hundreds of thousands of children in Rafah injured, sick, malnourished, traumatized or living with a disability, UNICEF calls for children to not be forcibly relocated, and the vital infrastructure on which children rely to be protected (May 6, 2024): https://www.unicef.org/press-releases/there-nowhere-safe-go-600000-children-rafah-warns-unicef
US campus protests of Israeli ‘genocide’ offer hope to students from Gaza (May 6, 2024): https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2024/5/6/us-student-protests-of-israeli-genocide-offer-hope-to-students-from-gaza
Brant Rosen: We Tried to Bring Food Into Gaza—but Israel Blocked and Arrested Us: As Israel continues to starve the people of Gaza, a delegation of rabbis marched toward the Erez Crossing during Passover carrying sacks of flour and demanding a cease-fire. (May 6, 2024): https://www.thenation.com/article/world/rabbis-arrested-for-bringing-food-gaza/
Catholic Workers Movement: After Arrests, Students Renew Call for Notre Dame to Follow Catholic Teaching on War, Investments (May 6, 2024): https://catholicworker.org/after-arrests-students-renew-call-for-notre-dame-to-follow-catholic-teaching-on-war-investments/
Hala Rharrit, former State Department official: Biden’s militaristic policy in Gaza is a failure — diplomacy is the solution (May 6, 2024): https://thehill.com/opinion/white-house/4646237-biden-gaza-militaristic-policy-failure/
750+ Jewish Students Affirm Support for Pro-Palestine Campus Protests [In Response to Biden’s Speech, 750+ Jewish Students on 140+ Campuses Stand Against Israel's Rafah Invasion, Urge Jewish Institutional Action to Halt Gaza Assault] (May 7, 2024): https://www.commondreams.org/news/jewish-students-support-gaza & https://mailchi.mp/israelpalestinecomms/jstudents
American Friends Service Committee: T­h­e C­o­m­p­a­n­i­e­s P­r­o­f­i­t­i­n­g f­r­o­m I­s­r­a­e­l­’­s 2­0­2­3­-­2­0­2­4 A­t­t­a­c­k­s o­n G­a­z­a (Updated on May 7, 2024): https://afsc.org/gaza-genocide-companies
‘I am leaving for the unknown.’ Palestinians fleeing Rafah describe their fear and despair (May 7, 2024): https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/06/middleeast/palestinians-flee-rafah-gaza-fear-despair-intl-hnk/index.html
Kenneth Roth: Biden Should Not Stand in the Way of the ICC (May 7, 2024): https://foreignpolicy.com/2024/05/07/biden-israel-hamas-icc-gaza-netanyahu-arrest/
Letter by Ch. Lt Col (Ret.) Stephen Tillett to the Editor: Veteran Calls for Ceasefire in Gaza (May 7, 2024): https://baltimorepostexaminer.com/letter-to-the-editor-veteran-calls-for-ceasefire-in-gaza/2024/05/07
Three Orange County medics describe wartime health care in Gaza: A once-modern string of hospitals has been reduced to desperate physicians and others relying on wits and luck. Most of their patients are children. (May 7, 2024): https://www.ocregister.com/2024/05/07/three-orange-county-medics-describe-wartime-health-care-in-gaza/
ACLU’s national director of policy and government affairs Mike Zamore and ACLU senior policy counsel Kia Hamadanchy: A disturbing national security bill could silence nonprofits and college protests (May 8, 2024): https://thehill.com/opinion/national-security/4651053-a-disturbing-national-security-bill-could-silence-nonprofits-and-college-protests/
Al Jazeera shutdown in Israel spells 'dark day for democracy,' say media groups (May 8, 2024): https://www.voanews.com/a/al-jazeera-shutdown-in-israel-spells-dark-day-for-democracy-say-media-groups/7603956.html
Blinken Says Israeli Units Accused of Serious Violations Have Done Enough to Avoid Sanctions. Experts and Insiders Disagree. (May 8, 2024): https://www.propublica.org/article/blinken-israel-military-aid-human-rights-violations-leahy-law
Jeremy Brecher: Anti-Genocide Students Are Fulfilling Their Duty to Prevent War Crimes; Will You? (May 8, 2024): https://www.commondreams.org/opinion/students-prevent-war-crimes
Senator Bernie Sanders Statement on Biden’s Hold on Bomb Delivery to Netanyahu’s Government (May 8, 2024): https://www.sanders.senate.gov/press-releases/news-sanders-statement-on-bidens-hold-on-bomb-delivery-to-netanyahus-government/
The NYPD’s New Sizzle Reels Aren’t Just Dumb. They’re Dangerous. “This is copaganda, designed primarily to provide the mayor with political cover, but then also to show off the military might and alleged professionalism of the NYPD.” (May 8, 2024): https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2024/05/nypd-sizzle-reel-student-protests/
Haim Bresheeth-Žabner deplores the rot in Israeli society: 'Israel has turned into a Nazi society': The son of Holocaust survivors, Haim Bresheeth-Žabner believes the majority of Israel has been taught to normalise the occupation of Palestine (May 9, 2024): https://www.newarab.com/features/son-shoah-survivors-israel-has-become-nazi-society
‘It’s not human’: What a French doctor saw in Gaza as Israel invaded Rafah: When asked about the conditions of the hospitals he worked in, Dr. Zouhair Lahna is pained by the memories of the sick, wounded and dying. (May 9, 2024): https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2024/5/9/its-not-human-what-a-french-doctor-saw-in-gaza-as-israel-invaded-rafah
Japanese American Citizens League Calls for Ceasefire in Gaza (May 9, 2024): https://jacl.org/statements/jacl-calls-for-ceasefire-in-gaza
Republicans Funded by Arms Industry Fume Over Biden Threat to Withhold Bombs From Israel (May 9, 2024): https://www.commondreams.org/news/republicans-israel-weapons
Senator Bernie Sanders Statement on Israel’s Threat to Attack Rafah (May 9, 2024): https://www.sanders.senate.gov/press-releases/news-sanders-statement-on-israels-threat-to-attack-rafah/
Trapped in Rafah, I'm watching genocide unfold before my eyes: Gazan journalist Amjad Yaghi's eye-witness account in Rafah describes the horrors of Israel's ground invasion as Gazans desperately try to flee to safety. (May 9, 2024): https://www.newarab.com/opinion/trapped-rafah-im-witnessing-genocide-my-own-eyes
76 Universities in Spain Suspend Ties With Complicit Israeli Universities (May 10, 2024): https://bdsmovement.net/news/76-universities-spain-suspend-ties-with-complicit-israeli-universities
Armed Conflict Location and Event Data Project: US Student Pro-Palestine Demonstrations Remain Overwhelmingly Peaceful (May 10, 2024): https://acleddata.com/2024/05/10/us-student-pro-palestine-demonstrations-remain-overwhelmingly-peaceful-acled-brief/
Biden’s arms threat to Israel ‘better than nothing’ but too late, say U.S. officials who resigned over Gaza policy (May 10, 2024): https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/bidens-arms-threat-israel-better-nothing-late-say-us-officials-resigne-rcna151454
Israel’s genocidal war in Gaza must end’ – Sinn Féin Chairperson Declan Kearney tells Global Anti-Apartheid Conference on Palestine (May 10, 2024): https://vote.sinnfein.ie/israels-genocidal-war-in-gaza-must-end-kearney-tells-global-anti-apartheid-conference-on-palestine/
Rick Salutin: I protested at Columbia in 1968 and today’s campus protests give me hope (May 10, 2024): https://www.thestar.com/opinion/contributors/i-protested-at-columbia-in-1968-and-todays-campus-protests-give-me-hope/article_a505c180-0e32-11ef-9615-e3f88eb6e034.html
Senator Bernie Sanders Statement on Rafah (May 10, 2024): https://www.sanders.senate.gov/press-releases/news-sanders-statement-on-rafah/
Strapped down, blindfolded, held in diapers: Israeli whistleblowers detail abuse of Palestinians in shadowy detention center (May 10, 2024): https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/10/middleeast/israel-sde-teiman-detention-whistleblowers-intl-cmd/index.html
U.S. medical volunteers in Rafah hospital say they've never seen a worse health crisis (May 10, 2024): https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2024/05/10/1250490688/rafa-hospital-gaza-israel-war-middle-east
Pro-Israel website ramps up attacks on pro-Palestinian student protesters (May 11, 2024): https://www.reuters.com/world/name-shame-pro-israel-website-ramps-up-attacks-pro-palestinian-student-2024-05-11/
Sen. Lindsey Graham says Israel should do 'whatever' it has to while comparing the war in Gaza to Hiroshima and Nagasaki: The GOP senator compared Israel’s military operations to the U.S. dropping atomic bombs on Japan in World War II, saying, “Israel, do whatever you have to do.” (May 12, 2024): https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/sen-lindsey-graham-says-israel-whatever-comparing-war-gaza-hiroshima-n-rcna151828
‘Total outrage’: White House condemns Israeli settlers’ attack on Gaza aid trucks: Protesters block convoy, throw food into road and set fire to vehicles at Tarqumiya checkpoint near Hebron (May 13, 2024): https://www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/may/13/total-outrage-white-house-condemns-israeli-settlers-attack-on-gaza-aid-convoy

The longer it has taken to secure a date, over 6 months now, the more anxious I have become about going on one. M68, widowed 18 months ago, I haven’t actually dated since high school. My late wife and I had a business relationship when we each divorced our spouses at around the same time. We became romantic over the phone, I traveled across the country and moved in with her. We were inseparable for 22 years.
Despite being fit and healthy, cycling and exercising often, there are several things that make me nervous about dating— none of them concern my confidence and social skills in public. My body count is just two, both of which were my wives, so performance anxiety, especially at my age, is definitely a problem. So are the prospects of kissing or making out, the process of dating, when and whether we would sleep together, me bringing masculine energy to dating when I’m unsure of myself.
Originally I thought I could get through it, learn about myself as I go, let experience take up the slack. But, not having dates, from either popular dating apps nor approaching irl, has shaken that intention. I have talked to a few dozen women, mostly in their 50’s and 60’s but some younger as well, and have gotten phone numbers a few times, but no dates have resulted. I haven’t had a single conversation on any app longer than a message or two, except for a couple of scammers. I’ve tried about 8-9 different apps with the same result.
Now, I find myself self-sabotaging my prospects, being overly picky or simply not taking any action, and curiously, I found my anxiety level dropping to nearly nothing. When I consider dropping out of the dating game, feel relieved. Granted, I am lonely and I greatly miss having a partner and companion. But the longer I’m alone, the easier it is to be alone. I do consider the fact that I may never have sex again, never be loved by someone again, but it just seems like I have outlived my datability.
One last point— I do believe there has to be a minimum of physical attraction to successfully date someone. Many women in their 60’s are obese now, or simply haven’t taken care of themselves, and that makes wanting to date in my own age bracket difficult. At the same time, I am not hitting on young women.
Making the decision to stop trying to date is relieving me of all my anxieties when I go out. I don’t blame women for my troubles and if I meet the right woman somewhere, somehow, I’m not against trying again. At the same time, I feel like I’ve been somewhat delusional, and now I’m being realistic. I went out singing last night and was totally relaxed, not even considering approaching anyone, just enjoying my own company and my craft beer. That will be my life now for a while, and I’m content.

I'm using a throw away for obvious reasons. I also debated posting this in other forums but I feel people with autism can relate to this more without the implied internal pressure to outright simply deny what I'm saying.
I have autism or something similar. It's hard to differentiate between any neurological conditions and the past I was brought up with.
Here's the question: I happen to be odd.. even for this space. Despite people assuming the worst about us for very objectively unfair reasons, I busted my ass in pedagogy and was a teacher for 10. It pissed off a lot of people, especially when I wouldn't allow certain individuals to encourage isolation and bullying of other neurodivergent individuals. I knew it was against my nature so I always pushed myself to prove to myself and other people that people like us can do a lot.
I decided to retire early because I felt the climate was not conducive to someone trying to leave the closet. (Anti-gay male bias is bad enough) I'm not stupid though. I knew that if I quit teaching, I'd have a very difficult time doing much of anything. So I took up art. Again.. people love to assume we're stupid yet I found a loophole with my condition that allows me to produce some hopefully naturally compelling art. Not to brag, but I'm pretty good at research coupled pedagogical strategies. I even know how to act normal with a bit of learned acting behavior from the time in my classroom. You'd be surprised how many people don't actually think about what they're doing. It's crazy. They say we don't think before we talk, the opposite is true for them when it comes to anything bully-related. 🤭 The things they do to please the bully are wild!
Despite not being trained, I got a showing in a gallery. It hasn't started but we enough private reviews behind it and a lot of educated people seem to like either both the work or the fact I am pointing out exclusionary practices in public schools by "regular people," so I'm positive I'll get some pushback. Considering how I know most of the criticism will come from bullies or those with discriminatory yet vested interests, I don’t care.
Here's the thing... based on my life experience, intuition, knowledge, and enough exposure on both sides of the income divide, I think I can conclusively say this. Men (and some women) are outright excluded from anything social because it unnerves phobic people in regular social spaces. The more educated people are, or how much money or prestige someone has, diminishes this to a degree. However, as a default autisitic men and some women are isolated and essentially live in boxes playing video games not realizing they are being pre-rejected for neurological conditions- especially if that male is below a certain theshold appearance wise.
It's very clear this is how it works. If I didn't bust my ass and trying to improve, people would have been more than content hiding this to avoid losing their own friends - who more often than not discriminate against those with neurological differences.
So let's make this positive - where exactly are men with autism truly accepted? Don't lie to me and say they are. My experience has taught me the exact opposite. And if I wasn't an ass, I would have been isolated all my life because small minds can't comprehend men and women with autism don't want to play along with bigoted people's desire to keep out "the ones with brain damage."
Please don't bother ameliorating this. This is how the old world and parts of Western countries work. Unless you can provide special skillsets that are better than a normie, they will constantly look down on you for how we were born.
Is anyone able to provide perspective on this? Alternatively, I'm wondering what country or area is best for me. I'm an American and EU citizen so I'm definitely considering my options rather than stay in an area / country where people like us clearly are not wanted unless we shut up, play video games, and agee to be made fun of and / or excluded for life. And if that's not my fate... the fact that that is our reality for the majority of dudes like me pisses me off far too much to see reason beyond finding a new place to call home. Any ideas?
Thank you in advance for reading

Not sure what, if anything, can be done at this point.
My son is on the spectrum. He does well emulating social situations... most of the time. but Last week his 8th grade had an overnight camp, and I attended as a chaperone. I monitored him as close as I could without being hover dad, and I redirected him a few times, but he was never out of line or inappropriate with anybody.
The last day, the last activity they were playing games and a group was playing tag, He wanted to join in. I guess he tagged one of the girls, but touched her butt instead of a shoulder or what ever. Should he have touched her there? probably not, but I honestly do not think there was any ill intent. Her boyfriend punched my son several times, knocking him down. The boyfriend got suspended for that, but the rumor mill had already worked itself into a tizzy. Even my son's friends who were not at camp have texted my wife and I saying they won't be friends with him because he sexually harassed this girl.
Things my son supposedly did on the camp was sneak into girls cabins and take pictures at night - he had no phone/camera and I shared not only a cabin with him but the same bunk, it was very uncomfortable that I barely slept, and so I know for a fact that he did not leave the cabin at any point. He also supposedly touched girls multiple times throughout both days. I was with him as one of the chaperones along with 5 other adults of his group, and none of them saw him do anything of the sort. They also say that several adults talked to him (though they could not tell me who) and several kids talked to him saying that he was acting inappropriate. If they had, and if he was, why didn't they talk to me at all during that time? It was very clear I was his dad, and I was there. I talked to several other adults and none of them brought any concerns to me.
The schools solution? He has excellent grades, they'll let him Finish the school year early, he won't get to participate in the awards ceremony, the middle school graduation ceremony, or the band concert that he is a major part of. They are not doing anything to calm the rumors, and that "it will all blow over during the summer". They obviously don't care. We live in a very small town, My son has been labeled a sexual deviant, I feel like we have no recourse at all, and the school is doing fuckall.
I failed my son.

Level 87 player with over 350hours of gameplay - no, I'm not omniscient, I don't know everything, but I I've seen a lot and learned even more.
With the increase in patrols I think we can all agree things have gotten messier in game play, especially that you can get completely surrounded very easily now.
With that said I've seen an uptick in random gameplay where the host chides me or kicks me for not "participating" or not "keeping up with the rest of the team" because I'm somewhere else on the map.
So my default play style is "Big Brother" - at least some Youtubers call it that - it's the role where you're a little behind the pack watching all the angles, flanking as necessary and protecting the rest of the team. With my Autocannon and Punsher Plasma I have good medium range to take out Rocket Devastators and Gunships, etc. and kill Berserkers as they're chasing my teammates. Sometimes I help my teammates by covering for an escape - like keeping a Hulk or Tank busy while my teammates move on to the next objective.
The Big Brother role's strength is to keeping your teammates alive it has a weakness especially with all the new patrols: You can get cut-off from the team easily.
As I'm trying to support the team so they can move on and because distance-wise I'm not super close to the team, I get surrounded ever more now which means getting isolated is much more likely. When you're in this situation what are your options?

• #1 Try to run away without dying - not easy to do with heavy armor which I use to compensate because I'm carrying Autocannon/AC Backpack
• #2 Fight as minimally as possible with a small group that's blocking a clear path
• #3 (Worst choice) There's no clear path and so you get bogged down running around and then dying (which means you lose your stratagem weapon and being less effective on respawn especially if it's a long recharge time.

I've seen all three and #1 isn't always an option.
Jerk 1 who kicked me: After answering your SOS, I was saving your butt (and the other sub-level 10 lowbies) on Extreme for 30 minutes, distracting the tank so you guys could run to the next objective without dying, and also destroying the bot factories you completely ignored - not to mention they weren't anywhere close to the extraction which means we'd have to run all the way back to clear them .... and you waited for me to catch up to you to lecture me in your little-dictator-Napoleon-voice "You're level 87 and you've spent the whole time doing nothing. Don't board my ship ever again if you don't want to contribute." And then you kicked me.
Jerk 2 who kicked me: Another SOS. After running around the map trying to find samples (like everyone else) and then finding nothing I then ran to you at Extraction where we both loitered for a minute or two. Then you ran off to go find samples again. I stayed behind for a beat to look at the map then after that I GOT SURROUNDED BY EVERY LIVING BUG ON THE PLANET. I couldn't get an out ANYWHERE and just died. Again with the lecture on mic "Why aren't you doing anything. You're not helping us find samples. You're useless" ... then kick.
If you're going to host a game and call an SOS, yes you get to be a little dictator as much as you want - but know that you DO NOT know everything and you're not omniscient. At best you're an ineffective leader and you ARE contributing to the toxicity of the game, which is the OPPOSITE of the spirit of this whole enterprise - to work as a team.
My advice to you little wannabe fascists - learn some basic leadership skills maybe?

hey!
here’s what I look like
I’m in the midwest, in the middle of my phd, using the sacred few hours of sleep I got to scroll reddit while binging on the trashiest reality TV and early 00s MTV music videos
tbh, since moving here I’ve been aching to meet people that aren’t related to my professional or academic sphere, and rarely got the time to do much outside the lab, so, here I am, it seems meeting people online could be good bet :o
some random trivia

• my work is on machine learning and proteins
• love running and cycling, pretty much any heavy cardio activity
• love playing soccer but suck at it
• love signing but suck at it
• love drawing but suck at it
• I only sing in spanish, because I got a thiccc accent and feel a bit self-conscious singing in english
• expert in early 00s shitty pop music
• best disney movie is ratatouille
• most overrated disney movie is up
• love dancing cumbia and bachata… and actually do not suck at it! lmao
• can move my ears on command
• have lived in 4 countries, 6 cities, 2 continents
• I’m trying to get into video games. help? I have a swtich, xbox, and pc
• not a fan of scifi or fantasy :(
• once got jump-scared by a possum while riding my bike
• knows two and a half languages
• love crafts (specially origami) and playing the accordion

here are two truths and a lie

• I was personally invited to a fancy rooftop party by a google hotshot, but bailed on it
• a mexican bill saved my life while I was stranded in serbia
• I was suspended from middle school for burning a whiteboard with body spray and a lighter

If you're interested in talking, send me a line about yourself!