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MARRIED Mary's Many, Many, Many Majestic Members (Part 10)
2024.05.15 11:18 CringeyVal0451 MARRIED Mary's Many, Many, Many Majestic Members (Part 10)
Welcome back to a little more MARRIED Mary Mania before I wrap things up with The Abridged Goblinization. I decided that this bit deserved its own chapter. Some of you seem to be entertained by Mary (or at least entertained by your own loathing of her), so I hope this will prove amusing. In my life, I've encountered an inordinate number of low-key lolcows (probably because I was far too patient and far too passive for far too long), so I might as well throw just enough distortion on the page to protect the good guys and the genuinely reformed beards. But I'm also gonna shine a bright, unflattering spotlight on the lolcows, creeps, weirdos, pervs, and BEARDS, both neck and leg.
And I'll very, very cautiously tiptoe over the bit where I do a bunch of mental gymnastics, squint my eyes, tilt my head, and convince myself that dating Whisky might be a welcome change of pace. I have no delusions when I look back on it. This was a dumb move in retrospect, but all the mental gymnastics in the world can't bring me to a reasonable scenario where I was psychic and thus able to predict what he'd become once he stopped pretending to be a gentleman. Nor can the most elite, Olympic-level mental gymnastics execute a double salto layout with a half-twist perfectly enough to force me to concede the "logical point" that I should have spotted warning signs that I'd never freakin' seen before. Okay, that's enough saltiness for today. Don't worry. This chapter mostly focuses on Mary's mania. Whisky's just kind of... there.
So there I was... dating a guy who called when he said he would, remained constant in his affections, never asked for weird stuff in the sack (in fact, we weren't even intimate at that point), and claimed to be a secular humanist who practiced elements of Hinduism (as opposed to conveniently becoming born-again whenever it suited his needs to wallow in shame). And we seemed to have similar enough tastes in media, which made for pleasant movie nights and enjoyable conversations about nerdy stuff. It felt like a step up. It felt safe. At that point in time, I was content.
But here's a shameful admission for ya. My original intention was to make Whisky the "for now guy." I knew I could do better. I was formally educated, I was in shape, I was normatively attractive, and I tended to be successful in both my theatrical and academic endeavors. Plus, I was super friendly and good with people. Whisky was kind of a bump on a log. Sure, he seemed nice. He was sometimes able to make interesting conversation. But my overall sentiment regarding the relationship was, to quote Whisky's favorite catch phrase, "Meh."
I knew he was mooching off his mysterious "big bro," and he wasn't doing this with the intention of saving up and eventually becoming self-sufficient. He just kicked up a fuss whenever he wanted something, and... it usually appeared. I still thought he was physically unattractive, too. I hate nasty-ass beards, I have a strong preference for shorter guys (they don't need to be as short as Dennis, but I don't exactly love being towered over), and Whisky had whatever the dude version of resting bitch face is. I admonished myself for being shallow and decided to soldier on. Date after date. And I did kind of get used to all the shallow things I objected to.
But, really... Dating Whisky at all was a dick move on my part. Then again, how many Nice Guy (TM)s want girls to do exactly what I did? Not attracted? Think he's kind of a bum? Find him a bit boring? Just give him a chance!!! Go on a crap-ton of dates with him until you like the familiarity enough to settle for him. That's the key to a healthy relationship!!! It never works. You could flip this around and apply it to Nice Girls who want pity dates, too.
Anyway. Lucy knew I was dating Whisky, and she thought it was great. She was honestly just happy to see that I was no longer pining over Dennis and that Whisky was no longer getting relentlessly stalked by Mary. Speaking of Mary... She'd had an imaginary dramatic breakup with Scumbanger not long after she crashed Lucy's brunch. Murky aside... The following summer, I'd do another show with the pervy pest and I'd find out that Mary had given the former Rum Tum Tugger a tug in the parking lot of The Imp and had let him motorboat her. When dozens of lewd messaged filled his inbox the following day, the most indiscriminate playboy I'd ever met in my freakin' life blocked that clingy legbeard's number and never had any further contact with her. But seeing as neither of them are especially reliable sources, my best guess is that the truth is somewhere in between.
After the dramatic "breakup" with Scumbanger, Mary immediately became obsessed with the new tech guy (and his wife). They allegedly had something of a throuple situation going on, but no one ever witnessed any hard evidence of this. And then Mary and Tech Guy's wife allegedly had a catfight in the middle of the fancy restaurant where the three spent their date nights. Mary did have a shiner and a scraped knee for a few weeks, and she intimated to me that Chuckie was actually the one responsible for her looking a little rough...
I believed her because there was something very different about her demeanor when she told me this. When she was in larger groups, she just screeched about how she thought the catfight was foreplay until Tech Guy ghosted her. Yet again, we'll never know the truth. But I err on the side of belief when someone tells me that DV is going on in their home, even if I generally regard that person as a delusional pathological liar. Plus, Mary had never badmouthed Chuckie before and she never made excuses for her philandering. She just felt entitled to any ding-dong she desired. Bottom line, I think there was an unfortunate incident, and I urged her to report it. She didn't; but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
And, yes. I think we're allowed to show compassion for Mary if Chuckie did indeed do what she was accusing him of. She absolutely deserved to get dumped in a spectacular fashion. No one deserves violence, though. But I think we're also allowed to laugh at Mary when she's acting like a crank-crazed maniac.
Moving on to lighter topics! Mary claimed to be having a hot, steamy affair with the artistic director of The Imp. At first, this seemed outlandish. But he had been the one to hire her. And he repeatedly refused to replace her when she consistently failed to learned her lines, ran around naked, and contributed little more than mukbangs to the comedy (again, I personally found it funny when she did that, but I was in the minority).
Some skullduggery was definitely afoot. Was it "sexy time," as Mary enthusiastically claimed? Who knows. Chuckie might have been paying the dude to give Mary a hobby. But not long after Mary started boasting about boning the artistic director, he suddenly began calling her out on her unprofessional behavior. They "broke up," but Mary managed to avoid getting kicked out of the improv troupe, bragging that she could sue the director for sexual harassment if he fired her.
And then... there was the pièce de résistance of Mary's misadventures in mating. She met a biker dude at Filthy McNasty's. This guys was disgusting. Most of her previous dudes had been questionable, weird, or possibly imaginary. But we all saw this one. He was as fat as a Hutt, he smelled like a grease trap, motor oil, B.O., and a very specific type of cheese... The few teeth that he had were black and green, his fingernails were yellowed and a few of them oozed pus. Finally, the volume and crackly, bubbly properties of his frequent farts indicated to George Gay that he, "definitely had a virgin booty." Mary's lard-ass loverboy called himself "Hogg," which was probably a reference to the two-wheeled vehicle that he was very obviously too large to actually ride. Or it might have just been an obvious nickname for a filthy fat fuck.
But Hogg, like Tech Guy a few loverboys ago, had a wife. And she made frequent appearances at Filthy's as well. Hogg's wife was shockingly... kind of pretty. A little rough around the edges. Didn't smell the greatest. But she stood in stark contrast to her repugnant hubby, even with her fried hair, her sloppily inked tats, and her imprecisely applied eye makeup. Her teeth were free of obvious rot. She had a beautiful figure. And she had a carefree attitude that was probably attractive to a number of people. She'd fart right along with Hogg, she didn't shave her legs, and the profane compound nouns she came up with always cracked me up (lard-tard, smegma-booger, felch-belcher).
And Mary was once again claiming to be in a throuple with The Hoggs. But this time, there was hard evidence. They'd get busy in some corner of the establishment, and even got booted from the dive bar a few times for lewd behavior, offensive odors, and illegal drug use. On one particular night, Mrs. Hogg lit one of her hubby's gargantuan ass-rippers while Mary was doing her thing, completely shrouded by his big belly. The blue flame ignited some spilt booze on the dingy floor, and a small fire erupted. The staff were able to stomp it out, but the nasty throuple was unceremoniously banished.
Alas, management allowed Mary to re-enter the bar because she apparently had some sort of sway with one of the bartenders. Instead of meeting her...uh... "partners" for some more boom-boom, Mary decided to come back inside and gush about Hogg's majestic rooster to all of us. She smelled like D cheese, ammonia, and burnt farts as she plopped down at our table, already screeching about how much bigger her "new boo" was, compared to that vile turd of an artistic director.
George Gay: Fuck me, Mary!!! You reek. Go wash the uncircumcised methhead off your hands and then you can sit with us.
Mary started to protest. Lucy cut her off. "Your whole body is probably a veritable Petri dish from fooling around with those nasty-ass people." She handed Mary some Purell. "Was the junkie junk off, keep the bottle, and don't you fucking touch me when you come back!"
Mary's bottom lip began to quiver and she looked pleadingly at me. "Just wash up," I told her. "You're too pretty to go around smelling like that.”
Off she went to the dingy bathroom. Maybe I wasn't harsh enough, but flattery got results in this instance. And when she returned, she had managed to dilute the stench enough so that we could stand to sit at the same table with her.
Mary took a deep breath in preparation to gush about something that would have undoubtedly been disgusting, but George cut her off this time. "Mare. How do you even BANG someone with a belly like that?"
Mary (speaking a bit more quickly than usual): Oh, it just takes some creative positioning. We get him to lie down. If Mrs. Hogg is taking in the rod, I hold his bowl of jelly up with both arms and stick my cooter in his face. He eats it like his mommy made it! And when it's my turn to get blasted, the missus uses a bunch of yoga straps to hold it up. I have to take it from behind because my own little tiny bit of va-jiggle-jaggle bumps up against his bowl of jelly if why try to smash like vanilla people. It's so much fun, though!!! And then he props his bowl of jelly up on the coffee table and plays with himself while he watches his honey strap on a dil...
George: I so regret asking.
Mary: They're sooo fun to fool around with! I think they might be my forever partners! (Her hands were too shaky to slide down her body in unbridled ecstasy, so she clasped them together and hid them underneath her itty bitty little gunt.)
Lucy: So when are you gonna dump Chuck?
Mary: Well... Hogg and the missus don't have much scratch. And what they do have, they spend on smokeables. When I meet a real sugar daddy, I'll get rid of Chuckle. He pretended to be a baller before we got married. But he's just middle management and he's content to stay there. Pffffftt. No ambition.
Mary launched into another long, unnecessarily graphic gushing about her garbage partners and their nasty-ass boom-boom. So I decided this would be a good time to clear my conscience about dating Whisky. Mary hadn't so much as mentioned him in months. She was inexplicably smitten with The Hoggs. And her ultimate dream man was obviously some filthy rich dude (perhaps a literally filthy dude who was also rich), which took Whisky out of the running. I still think it would have been amusing if Mary had tried to date Mori...
I waited for her adult film star gasp to wind down before I finally interjected, "Wow. Sounds like you've got a fantastic sex life right now!"
Mary: I do! You need to get over that born-again weirdo and find a real man so that you and I can have good girl talk!
Me: Well... I'm not banging anybody, but I am dating somebody. Sort of. It's not really that big of a deal. I'm not even sure that I'm completely into him. But he's been super sweet to me...
Lucy put her arm around me, almost as if she knew I was about to need protection.
Mary: TELL ME!
I hesitated. "Well... It's Whiskers."
In an instant, George jumped up and grabbed Mary by the shoulders, lest she lunge at me.
But Mary got very quiet. Silent tears welled up in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She gasped and buried her face in her hands, now emitting one seemingly endless, impossibly high-pitched whine.
George loosened his grip and began to pat her on the back. Lucy's grip tightened on me and she whispered, "Here we go. Overreaction sequence has commenced."
Mary lifted her red, tear-stained face and glared at me. "HOW COULD YOU???"
Me: Mary, I swear. I thought you hated his guts. I haven't heard you talk about him in ages. When he asked, I thought it would be good for me to give him a chance since he's always been really sweet to me.
Mary: But what about the way he treated ME??? He was such an asshole!
Lucy: Was he? Mary, you stalked the guy. If he was rude, it was only because you weren't taking NO for an answer.
Mary: He never told me he wanted to end things. He just kept ghosting me. But whenever I showed up at his house and jumped on him, we always wound up smashing. Eventually.
I didn't have the gumption at that point in my life to suggest to Mary that it's wrong on every imaginable level to coerce someone into intimate activity, regardless of gender. And even knowing what Whiskers would eventually become, he didn't deserve THAT. I should have called her out. Instead I tried to steer the conversation back to her current bedroom bliss and try to get her to resume thinking the disgusting thoughts that delighted her so much.
Me: Who cares what he's doing now?! Aren't you insanely happy with your fun new lovers???
Mary: NO! THEY STINK! HE'S FAT. I want my sexy Whisky-Boo Whiskers back!!! Give him back, Valley! Puh-leeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeease.
Me: I don't "have" him. I'm just seeing him. If he hurt you this much, why don't you try to sit down and have a real conversation with him? It might be good for both of you to clear the air.
Mary: He blocked me on everythi-iiiiiii-iiiii-iiiiiing. Waaaaaaaaaah!
Me: Well, I guess that's your answer. You probably overwhelmed him. He seems like a bit of a softy. Personally, I need a softy right now. But I think you need a manly man.
Mary rose. She gave me an icy stare. And then she cooed in an unnervingly sweet tone. "I love you, Valley-Boo. I know you didn't mean to break my heart."
Me: Thank you, Mary. Really, I wouldn't have even considered his initial invitation if you hadn't been calling him "Satan," and telling us all that you hated him, and dating all these new guys. I didn't do it to spite you, I swear. It just happened.
Mary (still creepily, icily sweet): Yes. We're so alike, you and I. It's perfectly understandable that the same guy would go for both of us. But you owe me. You owe me big.
Me: I'm gonna disagree with that. If you think I slighted you, just tell me to fuck off. If you really do understand that these things happen, then you'll accept that there was no malice on anyone's part.
Mary: Mmmm-hmmmm. We'll see about that.
She jiggled her Jupiters, tossed her hair, and stalked out of the dive bar...
AND THEN SHE BANGED DENNIS.
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And I'll very, very cautiously tiptoe over the bit where I do a bunch of mental gymnastics, squint my eyes, tilt my head, and convince myself that dating Whisky might be a welcome change of pace. I have no delusions when I look back on it. This was a dumb move in retrospect, but all the mental gymnastics in the world can't bring me to a reasonable scenario where I was psychic and thus able to predict what he'd become once he stopped pretending to be a gentleman. Nor can the most elite, Olympic-level mental gymnastics execute a double salto layout with a half-twist perfectly enough to force me to concede the "logical point" that I should have spotted warning signs that I'd never freakin' seen before. Okay, that's enough saltiness for today. Don't worry. This chapter mostly focuses on Mary's mania. Whisky's just kind of... there.
So there I was... dating a guy who called when he said he would, remained constant in his affections, never asked for weird stuff in the sack (in fact, we weren't even intimate at that point), and claimed to be a secular humanist who practiced elements of Hinduism (as opposed to conveniently becoming born-again whenever it suited his needs to wallow in shame). And we seemed to have similar enough tastes in media, which made for pleasant movie nights and enjoyable conversations about nerdy stuff. It felt like a step up. It felt safe. At that point in time, I was content.
But here's a shameful admission for ya. My original intention was to make Whisky the "for now guy." I knew I could do better. I was formally educated, I was in shape, I was normatively attractive, and I tended to be successful in both my theatrical and academic endeavors. Plus, I was super friendly and good with people. Whisky was kind of a bump on a log. Sure, he seemed nice. He was sometimes able to make interesting conversation. But my overall sentiment regarding the relationship was, to quote Whisky's favorite catch phrase, "Meh."
I knew he was mooching off his mysterious "big bro," and he wasn't doing this with the intention of saving up and eventually becoming self-sufficient. He just kicked up a fuss whenever he wanted something, and... it usually appeared. I still thought he was physically unattractive, too. I hate nasty-ass beards, I have a strong preference for shorter guys (they don't need to be as short as Dennis, but I don't exactly love being towered over), and Whisky had whatever the dude version of resting bitch face is. I admonished myself for being shallow and decided to soldier on. Date after date. And I did kind of get used to all the shallow things I objected to.
But, really... Dating Whisky at all was a dick move on my part. Then again, how many Nice Guy (TM)s want girls to do exactly what I did? Not attracted? Think he's kind of a bum? Find him a bit boring? Just give him a chance!!! Go on a crap-ton of dates with him until you like the familiarity enough to settle for him. That's the key to a healthy relationship!!! It never works. You could flip this around and apply it to Nice Girls who want pity dates, too.
Anyway. Lucy knew I was dating Whisky, and she thought it was great. She was honestly just happy to see that I was no longer pining over Dennis and that Whisky was no longer getting relentlessly stalked by Mary. Speaking of Mary... She'd had an imaginary dramatic breakup with Scumbanger not long after she crashed Lucy's brunch. Murky aside... The following summer, I'd do another show with the pervy pest and I'd find out that Mary had given the former Rum Tum Tugger a tug in the parking lot of The Imp and had let him motorboat her. When dozens of lewd messaged filled his inbox the following day, the most indiscriminate playboy I'd ever met in my freakin' life blocked that clingy legbeard's number and never had any further contact with her. But seeing as neither of them are especially reliable sources, my best guess is that the truth is somewhere in between.
After the dramatic "breakup" with Scumbanger, Mary immediately became obsessed with the new tech guy (and his wife). They allegedly had something of a throuple situation going on, but no one ever witnessed any hard evidence of this. And then Mary and Tech Guy's wife allegedly had a catfight in the middle of the fancy restaurant where the three spent their date nights. Mary did have a shiner and a scraped knee for a few weeks, and she intimated to me that Chuckie was actually the one responsible for her looking a little rough...
I believed her because there was something very different about her demeanor when she told me this. When she was in larger groups, she just screeched about how she thought the catfight was foreplay until Tech Guy ghosted her. Yet again, we'll never know the truth. But I err on the side of belief when someone tells me that DV is going on in their home, even if I generally regard that person as a delusional pathological liar. Plus, Mary had never badmouthed Chuckie before and she never made excuses for her philandering. She just felt entitled to any ding-dong she desired. Bottom line, I think there was an unfortunate incident, and I urged her to report it. She didn't; but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
And, yes. I think we're allowed to show compassion for Mary if Chuckie did indeed do what she was accusing him of. She absolutely deserved to get dumped in a spectacular fashion. No one deserves violence, though. But I think we're also allowed to laugh at Mary when she's acting like a crank-crazed maniac.
Moving on to lighter topics! Mary claimed to be having a hot, steamy affair with the artistic director of The Imp. At first, this seemed outlandish. But he had been the one to hire her. And he repeatedly refused to replace her when she consistently failed to learned her lines, ran around naked, and contributed little more than mukbangs to the comedy (again, I personally found it funny when she did that, but I was in the minority).
Some skullduggery was definitely afoot. Was it "sexy time," as Mary enthusiastically claimed? Who knows. Chuckie might have been paying the dude to give Mary a hobby. But not long after Mary started boasting about boning the artistic director, he suddenly began calling her out on her unprofessional behavior. They "broke up," but Mary managed to avoid getting kicked out of the improv troupe, bragging that she could sue the director for sexual harassment if he fired her.
And then... there was the pièce de résistance of Mary's misadventures in mating. She met a biker dude at Filthy McNasty's. This guys was disgusting. Most of her previous dudes had been questionable, weird, or possibly imaginary. But we all saw this one. He was as fat as a Hutt, he smelled like a grease trap, motor oil, B.O., and a very specific type of cheese... The few teeth that he had were black and green, his fingernails were yellowed and a few of them oozed pus. Finally, the volume and crackly, bubbly properties of his frequent farts indicated to George Gay that he, "definitely had a virgin booty." Mary's lard-ass loverboy called himself "Hogg," which was probably a reference to the two-wheeled vehicle that he was very obviously too large to actually ride. Or it might have just been an obvious nickname for a filthy fat fuck.
But Hogg, like Tech Guy a few loverboys ago, had a wife. And she made frequent appearances at Filthy's as well. Hogg's wife was shockingly... kind of pretty. A little rough around the edges. Didn't smell the greatest. But she stood in stark contrast to her repugnant hubby, even with her fried hair, her sloppily inked tats, and her imprecisely applied eye makeup. Her teeth were free of obvious rot. She had a beautiful figure. And she had a carefree attitude that was probably attractive to a number of people. She'd fart right along with Hogg, she didn't shave her legs, and the profane compound nouns she came up with always cracked me up (lard-tard, smegma-booger, felch-belcher).
And Mary was once again claiming to be in a throuple with The Hoggs. But this time, there was hard evidence. They'd get busy in some corner of the establishment, and even got booted from the dive bar a few times for lewd behavior, offensive odors, and illegal drug use. On one particular night, Mrs. Hogg lit one of her hubby's gargantuan ass-rippers while Mary was doing her thing, completely shrouded by his big belly. The blue flame ignited some spilt booze on the dingy floor, and a small fire erupted. The staff were able to stomp it out, but the nasty throuple was unceremoniously banished.
Alas, management allowed Mary to re-enter the bar because she apparently had some sort of sway with one of the bartenders. Instead of meeting her...uh... "partners" for some more boom-boom, Mary decided to come back inside and gush about Hogg's majestic rooster to all of us. She smelled like D cheese, ammonia, and burnt farts as she plopped down at our table, already screeching about how much bigger her "new boo" was, compared to that vile turd of an artistic director.
George Gay: Fuck me, Mary!!! You reek. Go wash the uncircumcised methhead off your hands and then you can sit with us.
Mary started to protest. Lucy cut her off. "Your whole body is probably a veritable Petri dish from fooling around with those nasty-ass people." She handed Mary some Purell. "Was the junkie junk off, keep the bottle, and don't you fucking touch me when you come back!"
Mary's bottom lip began to quiver and she looked pleadingly at me. "Just wash up," I told her. "You're too pretty to go around smelling like that.”
Off she went to the dingy bathroom. Maybe I wasn't harsh enough, but flattery got results in this instance. And when she returned, she had managed to dilute the stench enough so that we could stand to sit at the same table with her.
Mary took a deep breath in preparation to gush about something that would have undoubtedly been disgusting, but George cut her off this time. "Mare. How do you even BANG someone with a belly like that?"
Mary (speaking a bit more quickly than usual): Oh, it just takes some creative positioning. We get him to lie down. If Mrs. Hogg is taking in the rod, I hold his bowl of jelly up with both arms and stick my cooter in his face. He eats it like his mommy made it! And when it's my turn to get blasted, the missus uses a bunch of yoga straps to hold it up. I have to take it from behind because my own little tiny bit of va-jiggle-jaggle bumps up against his bowl of jelly if why try to smash like vanilla people. It's so much fun, though!!! And then he props his bowl of jelly up on the coffee table and plays with himself while he watches his honey strap on a dil...
George: I so regret asking.
Mary: They're sooo fun to fool around with! I think they might be my forever partners! (Her hands were too shaky to slide down her body in unbridled ecstasy, so she clasped them together and hid them underneath her itty bitty little gunt.)
Lucy: So when are you gonna dump Chuck?
Mary: Well... Hogg and the missus don't have much scratch. And what they do have, they spend on smokeables. When I meet a real sugar daddy, I'll get rid of Chuckle. He pretended to be a baller before we got married. But he's just middle management and he's content to stay there. Pffffftt. No ambition.
Mary launched into another long, unnecessarily graphic gushing about her garbage partners and their nasty-ass boom-boom. So I decided this would be a good time to clear my conscience about dating Whisky. Mary hadn't so much as mentioned him in months. She was inexplicably smitten with The Hoggs. And her ultimate dream man was obviously some filthy rich dude (perhaps a literally filthy dude who was also rich), which took Whisky out of the running. I still think it would have been amusing if Mary had tried to date Mori...
I waited for her adult film star gasp to wind down before I finally interjected, "Wow. Sounds like you've got a fantastic sex life right now!"
Mary: I do! You need to get over that born-again weirdo and find a real man so that you and I can have good girl talk!
Me: Well... I'm not banging anybody, but I am dating somebody. Sort of. It's not really that big of a deal. I'm not even sure that I'm completely into him. But he's been super sweet to me...
Lucy put her arm around me, almost as if she knew I was about to need protection.
Mary: TELL ME!
I hesitated. "Well... It's Whiskers."
In an instant, George jumped up and grabbed Mary by the shoulders, lest she lunge at me.
But Mary got very quiet. Silent tears welled up in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She gasped and buried her face in her hands, now emitting one seemingly endless, impossibly high-pitched whine.
George loosened his grip and began to pat her on the back. Lucy's grip tightened on me and she whispered, "Here we go. Overreaction sequence has commenced."
Mary lifted her red, tear-stained face and glared at me. "HOW COULD YOU???"
Me: Mary, I swear. I thought you hated his guts. I haven't heard you talk about him in ages. When he asked, I thought it would be good for me to give him a chance since he's always been really sweet to me.
Mary: But what about the way he treated ME??? He was such an asshole!
Lucy: Was he? Mary, you stalked the guy. If he was rude, it was only because you weren't taking NO for an answer.
Mary: He never told me he wanted to end things. He just kept ghosting me. But whenever I showed up at his house and jumped on him, we always wound up smashing. Eventually.
I didn't have the gumption at that point in my life to suggest to Mary that it's wrong on every imaginable level to coerce someone into intimate activity, regardless of gender. And even knowing what Whiskers would eventually become, he didn't deserve THAT. I should have called her out. Instead I tried to steer the conversation back to her current bedroom bliss and try to get her to resume thinking the disgusting thoughts that delighted her so much.
Me: Who cares what he's doing now?! Aren't you insanely happy with your fun new lovers???
Mary: NO! THEY STINK! HE'S FAT. I want my sexy Whisky-Boo Whiskers back!!! Give him back, Valley! Puh-leeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeease.
Me: I don't "have" him. I'm just seeing him. If he hurt you this much, why don't you try to sit down and have a real conversation with him? It might be good for both of you to clear the air.
Mary: He blocked me on everythi-iiiiiii-iiiii-iiiiiing. Waaaaaaaaaah!
Me: Well, I guess that's your answer. You probably overwhelmed him. He seems like a bit of a softy. Personally, I need a softy right now. But I think you need a manly man.
Mary rose. She gave me an icy stare. And then she cooed in an unnervingly sweet tone. "I love you, Valley-Boo. I know you didn't mean to break my heart."
Me: Thank you, Mary. Really, I wouldn't have even considered his initial invitation if you hadn't been calling him "Satan," and telling us all that you hated him, and dating all these new guys. I didn't do it to spite you, I swear. It just happened.
Mary (still creepily, icily sweet): Yes. We're so alike, you and I. It's perfectly understandable that the same guy would go for both of us. But you owe me. You owe me big.
Me: I'm gonna disagree with that. If you think I slighted you, just tell me to fuck off. If you really do understand that these things happen, then you'll accept that there was no malice on anyone's part.
Mary: Mmmm-hmmmm. We'll see about that.
She jiggled her Jupiters, tossed her hair, and stalked out of the dive bar...
AND THEN SHE BANGED DENNIS.
2024.05.15 06:33 HeadOfSpectre The Deepest Abyss
“Ready to make history, baby?”
I looked over toward Sheila as she stood on the gangplank leading up to The Burger. I still couldn’t believe she named our research ship ‘The Burger’... emotional relevance be damned.
“It's not exactly history,” I corrected.
“Oh come on! If your survey is right, this trench might run even deeper than the Challenger Deep, and you’re gonna be the first person to explore it! How is that not exciting?”
“Might be deeper, we only have a limited amount of topological data. And even if it is deeper, we’re talking only a few hundred feet at most, it’s really not that im-”
Sheila silenced me with a kiss.
“Nerd.” She teased, and I found myself too flustered to reply. After five years of marriage, she still could leave me speechless with just a kiss. God… how did someone like me end up with a woman like that?
Then again, how did someone like me end up where I was in general? It was honestly a little overwhelming. Standing on the dock, getting ready to board that ship and join the ranks of Jacques Piccard and James Cameron (yes, that James Cameron) as one of the few people to take a manned submersible down to the deepest parts of the ocean. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared too. Diving down that deep could easily be a one way trip if even the slightest thing went wrong. My submarine would be experiencing between 600 to 1100 atmospheres of pressure and while we’d tested it over and over again to make sure it would actually be up for the challenge, there was still a lingering iota of doubt in the back of my mind. All that needed to go wrong was one little thing, and that would be it for me.
The scariest part is that I probably wouldn’t even know what had happened… I’d simply be gone… and Sheila would be alone. The thought of that caused a momentary spike of panic in my chest that almost made me want to call this whole thing off.
Almost.
But, then I felt her hand close around mine. I looked up into her bright blue eyes, and saw her gentle smile.
“You’re gonna be okay, hun,” She promised. “You and your team have been running the numbers, right? It’s gonna go just fine!”
I nodded slowly.
“It’s gonna go fine…” I repeated, before she leaned in to kiss me, and gently pulled me by the wrist up onto the deck of the Burger.
She was probably right.
It probably would be fine.
Probably…
The trench I’d be exploring was a fairly recent discovery, located south of Greenland, in a vast stretch of water situated directly between Newfoundland and Iceland. It’d been uncovered during a topological survey in the area, and my team had taken an interest in investigating it further. At minimum, it was believed to descend to about 35,000 feet deep (over 10,000 meters), although the current theory was that it might have run even deeper. Determining the exact depth of the yet unnamed chasm was just one of the intents of our dive. The rest was studying the organisms that might be found down there, and how they might have differed from the ones found in other deep ocean trenches (some variation being expected given the isolated environment they were developing in.)
I had to admit, it would be exciting to see what new life might have developed in a place such as this, especially if it ran even deeper than our predictions… and that excitement was enough to make me chase the fear of the risks out of my mind, even if it was only briefly. While Sheila went to make sure we were ready to embark, I caught myself wandering out toward the rear of the ship where my submarine, The Tempura, waited for me. Did this submarine deserve a better name than The Tempura? Probably. But, this was my project, so I got to name it and since Burger was already taken, Tempura was the next best name I had. I liked to think that the subs namesake might approve… if she hadn’t died fifteen years ago. Shrimp don’t live very long.
As the ship began to depart, I caught myself reminiscing on how I’d ended up here… it really was all because of those damn shrimp, wasn’t it? Well… maybe not all because of the shrimp. But they were certainly part of it. Back when I was a lot younger, I never really gave much of a shit about anything at all. I guess I did have a thing for the ocean… the great, romantic vastness of it. The sense of adventure that it beckoned with. The endless mysteries that lay within its dark depths. I used to read about it all the time when I was a kid and I especially loved the classic adventures: Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, and Melville’s Moby Dick… but that love was just confined to my books. I didn’t really have any interest in actually going out and seeing the ocean. Hell, the idea of going to a beach and standing in the sun with my toes in the sand seemed miserable to me. I was happier (although calling myself happy might’ve been a little disingenuous) alone in my room, enjoying the company of books as opposed to people.
Then came the shrimp.
One of my online friends kept them as a hobby. He used to post pictures of his tanks all the time, and I always thought they looked kinda cool. He said that if I was interested in them, I should try keeping some for myself, and during a particularly bad bout of depression, I figured that maybe it might be worth a shot. So, I bought a cheap tank and some cheap decorations, bought myself some shrimp… and promptly watched them die over the next few weeks. That… that bothered me. I don’t know why but… it really bothered me. I’m still not entirely sure how to describe what it was that I was feeling. Guilt? Defeat? Shame? Here I was, trying to set up a habitat for these creatures just to have something to do to keep the suicidal ideation at bay, and I’d failed almost right out of the gate.
Was I just that bad? Was I just that much of a failure? Was this just going to go to shit just like everything else in my life did, because I was just such an abysmal piece of shit who barely deserved the life she had? Had I just not tried hard enough? Was I too apathetic? What had happened? What went wrong?
It bothered me.
It bothered me enough that I made up my mind to just dump the remaining shrimp down the toilet and toss everything. Forget about it. Move on. End of story. But… that wasn’t fair, was it? The shrimp didn’t all deserve to die just because I couldn’t be bothered, did they? Sure, they were just shrimp, but they were alive too, just like me. They deserved to be alive.
I owed it to them to try and keep them alive, didn’t I?
So… I didn’t dump the shrimp.
Instead, I started doing some reading. Started looking into what I was doing wrong and how to do it all better. I actually got really into it and a few months later, I had a nice planted tank. Looking back, it was amateur shit… but it made me happy. I’d even picked out names for my two favorite shrimp. Burger and Tempura. They’d been the last survivors of my original batch, and they were the ones I ended up caring about the most. Caring for Burger and Tempura gave me a purpose. It became an obsession… and that little obsession drove me to finally start turning my life around.
Like I said, shrimp don’t live for very long. Burger and Tempura were long dead by the time I graduated with a degree in Marine Biology. But they were the ones who inspired me to finally get my life in order. Hell, the shrimp were half the reason that I met Sheila. She was something of an aquarium fanatic too… we’d met on a forum, and gotten to talking. I found out that she just so happened to be studying Marine Biology at another school, and we bonded pretty quickly after that. After graduation, I moved to California to be with her and after that, the rest is history. She was my rock. She was the one who always pushed me to be the best possible version of myself… and I loved her more than I ever knew I could love someone.
A glance back at the shore, fading into the distance tore me out of my reminiscing, and I shifted my focus to the present, going over The Tempura to perform some quick checks. My colleagues and I would be checking and rechecking the submarine over the next two days as we made our way toward the dive spot. Considering the danger that descending that deep posed, I didn’t want to take a single unnecessary risk.
I had too much to live for, after all.
***
The day of the dive, I couldn’t notice how excited the rest of the crew seemed… well… Sheila’s usual crew seemed excited. I guess to them, this was just another research expedition, no different than the ones Sheila usually took this ship out on. Lately her research had been focused on the analysis and study of whale calls. Her recent voyages had involved following their pods, recording their calls and playing them back to see how the whales reacted. It was fascinating stuff, but my research was admittedly a lot different than that.
My obsession had drawn me to the denizens of the deep sea. I’d used The Burger for expeditions before, although none of them had been on quite the same scale as this one. Up until today, the most ambitious thing I’d done was send down unmanned submersibles with cameras. Those submersibles had typically returned. We had lost a few early on due to technical glitches, but the past few years had been blissfully uneventful. Logically, this dive would probably be uneventful as well. But it was still hard to get the jitters out of my head.
My team and I did the final checks necessary to make sure that The Tempura was good to go, before setting up the crane to begin lifting it up. In less than an hour, I’d be inside of that thing, descending to the darkest depths of the ocean.
It didn’t feel real.
I felt Sheila’s hand on my shoulder, and looked over at her.
“Moment of truth, huh?” She asked. She probably meant it to sound encouraging, but it just sounded ominous.
“Moment of truth…” I replied.
“You’re gonna be okay, honey. I know you will.”
She reached out to gently squeeze my hand and gave me a reassuring smile that I meekly returned.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be okay,” I agreed, although there was an element of a lie in it. Statistically, yes. It probably WOULD be okay. But there was that lingering anxiety in the back of my mind that just wouldn’t go away. I looked quietly out at the submarine before me and couldn’t shake the thought that it sort of looked like a giant coffin. Unconsciously, I found myself squeezing Sheila’s hand tighter than normal. She just held me close and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, before gently rubbing my back.
“You’ll be okay,” She promised.
“Dr. Jenner, we’re ready for you.” I heard one of my colleagues say.
Moment of truth.
I took one last look at Sheila, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips for luck. She smiled at me, and I smiled back anxiously at her before heading over toward the submarine.
The crew helped me enter the cockpit and get myself situated inside. The cockpit of the Tempura was fairly cramped and not particularly comfortable. Space and comfort aren’t really luxuries you can afford in a submarine like this. The instruments I needed took up a lot of space, leaving little room for me in there… and I am not a very big person.
Once I was inside, they sealed the hatch. Then the diagnostics checks began.
“Grayson, can you hear us in there?” I heard Sheila say through the radio.
“Loud and clear,” I replied.
“Great. We’ll keep in constant radio contact, just to monitor the signal. In the meanwhile, how’s everything looking in there?”
“Green across the board so far,” I said, although I hadn’t finished running all my final checks yet. Ultimately, nothing was out of place.
This submarine was as good to go as it was going to get.
“I’m all good in here,” I said once I was done. “You can drop me when you’re ready.”
“You got it, honey. Let’s get you in the water, run one final round of tests and start lowering you down.”
A short while later, I felt the submarine begin to move as the crane lifted it off the deck and lowered it into the water. The Tempura honestly resembled its namesake in a way, being long and cigar shaped, only vertically oriented instead of horizontally oriented. We’d admittedly taken more than a few design cues from James Cameron’s Deepsea Challenger. Why fix what isn’t broken, after all?
Once I was in the water, a 1000 pound releasable ballast weight would cause the submarine to sink. Releasing that weight was also my ticket back to the surface, and I could either trigger it from inside the cockpit, or, in the event that the release failed for any reason, it would trigger automatically after roughly 12 hours of exposure to salt water.
Ideally, this would be the first of a number of dives I’d be undertaking… and if all went according to plan, the Tempura could be the first of many similar submarines that would allow other researchers to safely and effectively descend to extreme depths. If all went well, this could be a massive leap forward for researchers like me, allowing us to better explore the deepest depths of the Hadal Zone and learn all we could about the ecosystems down there via direct observation.
If all went well.
If.
Through the viewport, I watched as I was lowered into the ocean. A few of the other crew members had donned diving gear to escort me down, and after they did their final checks and I did mine, we were fully ready to go.
“All’s green across the board,” I said into the radio. “You can start my descent.”
“I hear you, honey,” Sheila replied. “We’re letting you go. Have fun down there.”
“Yeah, I’ll try…” I said quietly as finally, my submarine began its descent.
I took a deep breath, and told myself again that everything would go fine. We had checked everything on this submarine. We’d tested it rigorously. I wouldn’t have allowed myself to set foot inside of it if I hadn’t personally assured that it was safe. But anxiety never really goes away, does it? The crew couldn’t accompany me far. After only a few meters, they fell behind me as I sank deeper and deeper into the infinite, empty blue of the ocean. Soon after, the tether was released.
I was officially on my own.
“60 feet,” I heard Sheila say over the radio. “How are you doing in there?”
“Good,” I replied. “Doing… doing good.”
The submarine continued to descend. Through the viewport, I could see a few stray fish, but nothing particularly eye catching. I almost felt alone down there… almost…
“120 feet…” Sheila said.
“Still doing good,” I replied.
The descent continued, as the waters slowly grew darker and darker.
“400 feet…”
Everything around me just kept getting darker and darker. Only a fraction of the light from the sun ever reached these depths… and I’d be lying if I said that darkness didn’t feel a little… oppressive.
“800 feet… still feeling good?”
“Yeah, still feeling good…” I said, although it was a bit of a lie. If anything, I was second guessing all of this, but I wasn’t about to say that out loud.
“1000 feet… still good?”
“Still good…” I murmured. “I hear you loud and clear.”
Deeper… deeper… deeper.
“1500 feet…”
Three miles. I was three miles away from home. Three miles away from Sheila.
“2000 feet…”
Still a ways to go.
“3000 feet…”
By this point, it was fully dark outside of my cockpit. Outside, all I could see was inky darkness. Even the submarine’s lights didn’t really cut through it. And the kicker? Relatively speaking, I wasn’t that deep. Fishing trawlers reached deeper than this. Better to conserve power until I was at the bottom. My descent continued.
“6000 feet… still good?”
“Still good…”
The check ins were becoming less frequent. My descent still continued… deeper… deeper… deeper. By now, I’d entered the Hadal Zone. But there was still so much deeper o go.
“8000 feet…”
This was past the depths that most whales would dive to… and I still had a ways to go.
“10,000 feet.”
This was close to where the ocean floor usually bottomed out… and yet there was still so much further to go. No. I was really only a third of the way there. How long had it been?Not much had happened beyond my descent and a few sightings out of my viewport, but time had been passing. A glance at my watch confirmed it’d been almost an hour since I’d started to sink… and I knew I wasn’t even close to the bottom yet. The submarine continued to descend, sinking ever deeper as I dropped into an infinite darkness that few had ever dared to witness.
“15,000 feet.”
This check in came later than the others. At this point, Sheila and the crew must have figured that no news was good news, and they were right. I just continued to sink peacefully, down into the crushing depths of the ocean.
These were the depths that one might normally find deep sea fish… and yet I was going somewhere even deeper than that.
“20,000 feet…”
So close…
I continued to sink.
“25,000 feet.”
Soon… and finally…
“30,000 feet. You still doing alright, honey?”
“Yeah… yeah, I’m doing good,” I assured her. I was so close…
By this point, my real work had begun. I’d engaged the lights and begun documenting what little I could see using the on board cameras. Granted, there wasn’t much life at these depths and what little there was, was scarcely documented. Most of what was down here consisted of invertebrates and microscopic life that seemed to float past my viewport.
The light seemed to draw a few creatures in search of food. Small, hardy things that resembled shrimp.
“How’s it looking, Grayson?”
“Dark,” I said, half joking. “We’ve got some life… shrimp. They’re translucent. Can’t get a great look at them… but we’ll see what the cameras pick up.”
“They’ve recognized you as a friend,” Sheila said. I could almost see the smile on her lips as she said it.
“Yeah…” I replied, “Tempura sent them a message, told them I’d be down. How am I looking on depth?”
“35,000 feet… you seeing a bottom yet?”
“No… not that I would until I was there.”
“Damn… how deep does this go?”
“It can’t go that deep…” I murmured, although I really wasn’t so sure about that.
The submarine continued to sink…
36,000 feet…
37,000 feet…
38,000 feet… and then finally, just past the 39,000 foot mark, I finally saw solid ground below me.
Looking through my viewport, I could see a familiar dark brown diatomaceous sludge, covering the seafloor. Microscopic life, likely similar to what had been observed in other deep sea trenches, such as the Challenger Deep.
I needed to gather a sample.
As my submarine reached the bottom, I extended the mechanical arms, pressed flat against the surface of the Tempura, and opened the collection port near the bottom of the ship. Slowly, I sifted some of the sludge into the port. My disturbance of the seafloor kicked up a cloud of the microbial colony, and I could’ve sworn I saw something wiggling through the debris. A pale, white thing, perhaps some sort of sea cucumber? I hastily angled my submarines camera to try and catch a glimpse of it, before returning to my collection. Even in this forlorn place, there was still so much to see! And here I was… completely forgetting my fear as the excitement took hold of me! Few people had ever been down to these unfathomable depths… and yet here I was.
It didn’t feel real but it was! I had reached the deepest part of the ocean!
“How’s it going down there?” I heard Sheila ask. Her voice was a little garbled. The connection down here was faltering.
“It’s beautiful…” I said. “I can’t wait for you to see it!”
“I’ll bet…”
“I’m going to do a sweep of the area, see what samples I can gather,” I said. “What’s my time right now?”
“Three hours. You’ve got nine before your connection to the weight deteriorates and you start to ascend.”
“I’ll make the most of it,” I said. The plan was only to stay down there for six hours, and I didn’t want to push that limit. Life support would only last me for so long, and one little error was all it would take for the ungodly pressure down here to crush me.
I began to move the submarine. Mobility was limited. This thing wasn’t built to travel far. But I still had some limited movement. I recorded all that I could, filming the shrimp that investigated my light, and the things that slithered and crawled through the muck, likely feeding on the carpet of single celled organisms that populated these depths.
The first two hours were… well… I hesitate to call them uneventful, they were actually very fascinating, but little of note happened beyond my recording of a few specimens.
Midway through the third hour though, as I was reaching one of the rock walls of the abyss, I noticed something just above the edge of my viewport swimming away from the light. I could’ve sworn I saw slender, pale tentacles of some sort. Was that a squid? Were there squid down this deep? I wasn’t aware of any species of known squid who could reach these depths… but in this unknown place, what use was the known?
I moved my light and my camera to try and catch another glimpse of it, but whatever it was, it seemed to be gone. Maybe I’d see another one. I still had plenty of time.
“You made a noise. What’d you see?” Sheila asked.
“Something big… I think,” I said.
“Down there? Like a fish?”
“Squid. You wouldn’t find any vertebrates down this deep… the pressure would crush their bones.”
“Jeez…”
I didn’t reply to that, still searching for the thing I’d seen. I shone my light up along the walls of the chasm and angled my camera up as far as it would go. I could see a few volcanic vents, spewing dark clouds into the darkness, and more diatoms. But not much else. Strange invertebrates crawled along the walls. Small creatures, no bigger than an inch long. Related to isopods, perhaps? If I could collect one as a sample, I would have… although taking any of those back to the surface would surely kill them. They were built to live under the impossible pressure of these depths. Taking them to the surface would rip them apart.
I went back to my research, and it wasn’t long until I saw something in the darkness, just on the edge of where my flashlight reached. Trailing white tendrils, snaking their way through the darkness. My eyes narrowed as I moved the submarine forward, trying to catch whatever it was in the light. I saw the shape move, its body turning… I saw its tendrils unfurling. Whatever this was, it was big. It was almost as big as The Tempura… although it was also slender. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought I was looking at some sort of floating debris, but this far down? No. And debris wouldn’t move like that.
This had to be a deepsea squid… or perhaps some other type of cephalopod? Something that preyed upon the various invertebrates down here, perhaps? It seemed to float, just out of sight for a bit, as I tried to get closer. I angled up my light to get a better look at it. The light seemed to shine through it, like some sort of ghost… but I did manage to get a look at it.
Although that look…
That single look made me freeze up.
This things slender tendrils certainly resembled a cephalopod of some sort, but the rest of it… the rest of it looked like something else entirely. Its body was thin, emaciated and translucent, yet despite that it still had characteristics that almost seemed… human. It wasn’t human! Not by any stretch of imagination, but the resemblance was there. It almost reminded me of an exhibit I’d seen in a museum once, depicting a preserved, fully removed human nervous system. I could see a similar shape in its translucent body. Its head seemed almost human as well… albeit with no eyes, and a lamprey like mouth I could only describe as fleshy yet crablike.
Still, despite having no eyes I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was looking at me. And that was when I felt something hit the submarine.
I felt a sudden jolt of panic in my chest. For a moment, I thought that the pressure had started to crush me, but no… no, everything was still fine. Something had just hit me. But what? It didn’t take long before I got my answer.
Another pale creature floated past my viewport, swirling gracefully in the cold dark waters. I watched it for a moment with wide eyes, before noticing its ‘head’ turning slightly toward me. Then, almost instantly, it launched itself at the submarine, darting toward me with blinding speed.
I heard a distinct THUD as its body collided with me, and I could see its pale tendrils pressing against the viewport, twisting and writhing violently. It was trying to attack me. The first creature that I’d seen lunged as well, pounding on my submarine with another THUD. And moments later, I could hear more impacts against the hull. There were more of them… and they did not like having me down there.
“What’s going on?” Sheila asked.
“Somebody doesn’t like me…” I said. “One of the animals down here… some kind of squid, it’s just started attacking the hull.”
“How bad is the damage?”
“Not sure… could be nothing, could be-”
I felt the submarine shake as I tried to move it. The thrusters that pushed me forward weren't responding. Had something gotten caught in it? One of the creatures perhaps?
“Grayson?!” Sheila asked.
“Lost propulsion…” I said. “Fuck… I can’t move.”
“Then drop the weight and come up!”
“No, it’s fine, there’s no other damage, I can still use the port and starboard thrusters to-”
“Grayson!”
I paused. There was genuine panic in her voice… enough to make me realize that even if these things stood little chance of actually breaching the hull, taking the risk would be a fatal mistake.
“I’m on my way up…” I finally said, before reaching out to disengage the ballast weights.
Immediately, I felt myself beginning to rise, although the tentacles clinging to my viewport didn’t disappear.
“We’ve got you…” Sheila said. “Rising up to 38,000 feet.”
The submarine continued to rise, but the creatures clinging to me went nowhere. In fact… I was sure I could see more of them. More pale shapes coming up through the darkness, and these ones filled me with dread. I thought I had been looking at some sort of eerie undiscovered life. But seeing what was coming up toward me now… I knew that I was looking at so much more. The creatures swimming up toward me through the darkness carried weapons… makeshift stone spears and daggers. Primitive tools… but tools all the same.
Signs that these were more than just undiscovered animals.
Much. Much more.
The word: ‘Mermaids’ crossed through my mind, but these were something far different than the ones I’d heard of in folklore. These looked like they’d swam out of the depths of hell itself. Boneless pale tendrils reached for me… and they were getting closer. The pale shapes reached my submarine as I rose higher. I kept praying to whatever God may be listening that the dropping pressure would force them off. The air in a submarine is pressurized, so during normal operation, there should have been no danger of decompression sickness for me.
For them… well… normally I’d feel a little guilty about subjecting an undiscovered species of deep sea mermaids to the horrors of the Bends. But given my circumstances, I didn’t have a lot of other options.
They didn’t let go, though.
They should have. But they didn’t.
What were these things?
I saw a splayed hand press against my viewport. Or… it somewhat resembled a hand. It had suckers on it, like a tentacle and the ‘fingers’ curled open like tentacles. The creature crawled over my viewport, clinging to The Tempura as it rose, and I could see the folds of its crablike mouth opening and pressing against the glass. I could see some sort of bile rising up through its translucent throat, before it secreted it all over my viewport. Was it trying to digest me? Was that how these things fed? How strong were its stomach acids? Were they strong enough to-
The window cracked.
My heart skipped a beat.
“No… no, no no…”
“Grayson, what’s wrong?!”
“They cracked the window… S-Sheila they… oh God… oh fuck, they just…”
“THEY DID WHAT?”
“It’s secreting some sort of enzyme… it’s on the window, it’s… FUCK… I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die…”
“You’re not gonna die, baby! Just… just keep ascending, okay? You’re at 30,000 feet… just keep going…”
I nodded, and kept on rising, although the question of whether or not the rest of the creatures were trying to digest the other parts of my submarine floated through my mind. How much damage could The Tempura take before it imploded? How much longer did I have? The submarine still continued to rise… 25,000 feet… almost halfway home… almost… almost.
The creature outside of my viewport slithered along the glass, searching for a better area to try and digest. Past him, I noticed a few of his companions dropping off. Maybe the change in pressure finally was getting to them?
From the corner of my eye, I suddenly noticed a flashing light. A warning. The hydraulics on one of the Tempura’s arms were shot… what else was damaged?
I checked my oxygen levels. 32%.
I should’ve had at least 14 hours of air. I’d only been down there for about 6 hours… I shouldn’t have been this low.
31%.
No… no, no, no, no… they’d damaged the air tanks!
30%.
29%
“20,000 feet!” Sheila said. “You still with me, baby?”
“Y-yeah…” I said. I didn’t mention my air situation. I didn’t need to worry her further.
The submarine continued its ascent.
15,000 feet.
24%. I was running out of time.
The creatures still clung to the Tempura. How had the pressure change not killed them yet? My oxygen was dropping faster than before. I was hemorrhaging air. Another crack formed across my viewport. I let out a little, involuntary gasp before trying to force myself to stop hyperventilating.
“Grayson, what was that?”
“I-it’s fine…” I stammered, “It’s fine!”
“Grayson what the hell is going on down there?!”
“They’re still on the submarine… they’re still…” I paused, looking at my oxygen levels. “19%...”
“19% of what? Grayson what’s going on!”
I paused.
18%.
“Air… I’m… I’m losing air…”
“That’s fine, you’re going to make it!” She said, although I heard her voice cracking a little. “You’re gonna make it!”
I didn’t answer.
12,000 feet.
11,000 feet…
My oxygen level continued to drop.
15%.
14%.
12%.
9,000 feet.
The creatures still clung to me, as the submarine continued to rise. The one on my viewport was still there, slowly crawling along the glass again. I stared into its eyeless face and swore I was looking at the face of my killer.
7,000 feet…
Oxygen had dropped to 9%. It dropped to 8% before I even got to 6,000 feet. I was going to die here…
The viewport cracked again and I squeezed my eyes shut. The submarine rocked. I was sure one of the thrusters had been damaged. My ascent slowed.
“Grayson, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry Sheila…”
Another crack spread across my viewport.
“I’m… I’m not making it back up…”
“YES YOU ARE!”
“I’m sorry…” The tears started to come as the reality of my death became clearer and clearer… this was it.
“YOU’RE COMING BACK UP, YOU HEAR ME! GODDAMNIT, I’LL BRING YOU BACK UP!”
“I love you…”
That creatures face pressed against the glass. It vomited more of its stomach acid onto the cracked glass, and I wondered if this might finally be what broke it. Part of me hoped it would be… the one good thing about dying this deep was that at least I’d die quickly. My suffering would be over. Then, the creature suddenly pulled back, twisting and writhing violently. I saw other shapes moving past it in the water, other ‘mermaids’ that had been clinging to the submarine.
Something was agitating them.
Something was scaring them off.
Then I heard it, over the radio… whale songs.
“What the hell…?”
“Grayson, are you still there?!”
“I… they’re finally breaking off. Sheila, what did you do?”
“I’m broadcasting some of the orca recordings we’ve been using. Are they still clinging to you?”
“No! They’re backing off! I… whatever you’re doing, keep doing it!”
The submarine kept rising.
5,000 feet.
4,000 feet.
4% oxygen.
I could still do this, right?
The submarine continued to rise.
3%.
3,000 feet.
2,000 feet.
2%.
1,000 feet… so close… I was so close…
I could almost see the surface through my viewport, rushing up toward me. I tried not to breathe. Tried not to move. All I did was hope.
500 feet.
I closed my eyes.
“Grayson we have your signal, we’re coming to pick you up!”
Sheila’s voice sounded so far away as my submarine finally breached the surface of the water… and with the last of my strength, I pulled the emergency release on the hatch, and threw it open, taking in lungful after lungful of fresh salty air.
I didn’t dare so much as touch the water beneath me… but I was topside again, and in the distance, I could see The Burger!
“We see you!” Sheila said, “We’ve got you baby… we’ve got you…”
“I see you too…” I said through the tears. “Thank you… thank you…” I didn’t have any words left in me after that.
As soon as I was back on the ship, I collapsed into Sheila’s arms, breaking down into tears as I clung to her, terrified that at any moment, some sort of unspoken other shoe would drop and I’d lose her all over again.
“Shh… it’s alright baby… I’ve got you… you’re safe… you’re safe…” I felt her fingers running through my air and I knew that what she said was true.
I was home.
I was safe.
***
I left my colleagues to review the data that the Tempura gathered during its short expedition. As far as I know, they haven’t published anything. I have a few ideas as to why, but I’ll keep those to myself. Let’s just say that some people would rather this information not become public.
I have a feeling that the Tempura may not be diving again for some time, if ever. I will confess that I do consider that a bit of a shame. Despite everything… I would consider it a success. It endured far more stressful conditions than I had expected, and from what I heard, required fewer repairs than I’d thought it would. But, even if it was approved for another dive, it wouldn’t be me piloting it. No. I will never be setting foot inside of that machine again, nor will I ever be returning to what my colleagues have been quietly referring to as ‘The Jenner Trench’.
I can’t.
Every night, I wake up crying after dreaming of pale shapes outside of my cracked viewport, clinging to Sheila and sobbing. I can’t put myself in that situation again.
I can’t.
Instead, I think I’m going to spend the next few years on solid ground. There’s a teaching position available at a local university. I think that might be the best place for me right now. Who knows, maybe I can help some other deadbeat discover a passion for marine biology.
After everything, my love for the sea remains unchanged… I’m just a little more wary of it, these days.
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I looked over toward Sheila as she stood on the gangplank leading up to The Burger. I still couldn’t believe she named our research ship ‘The Burger’... emotional relevance be damned.
“It's not exactly history,” I corrected.
“Oh come on! If your survey is right, this trench might run even deeper than the Challenger Deep, and you’re gonna be the first person to explore it! How is that not exciting?”
“Might be deeper, we only have a limited amount of topological data. And even if it is deeper, we’re talking only a few hundred feet at most, it’s really not that im-”
Sheila silenced me with a kiss.
“Nerd.” She teased, and I found myself too flustered to reply. After five years of marriage, she still could leave me speechless with just a kiss. God… how did someone like me end up with a woman like that?
Then again, how did someone like me end up where I was in general? It was honestly a little overwhelming. Standing on the dock, getting ready to board that ship and join the ranks of Jacques Piccard and James Cameron (yes, that James Cameron) as one of the few people to take a manned submersible down to the deepest parts of the ocean. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared too. Diving down that deep could easily be a one way trip if even the slightest thing went wrong. My submarine would be experiencing between 600 to 1100 atmospheres of pressure and while we’d tested it over and over again to make sure it would actually be up for the challenge, there was still a lingering iota of doubt in the back of my mind. All that needed to go wrong was one little thing, and that would be it for me.
The scariest part is that I probably wouldn’t even know what had happened… I’d simply be gone… and Sheila would be alone. The thought of that caused a momentary spike of panic in my chest that almost made me want to call this whole thing off.
Almost.
But, then I felt her hand close around mine. I looked up into her bright blue eyes, and saw her gentle smile.
“You’re gonna be okay, hun,” She promised. “You and your team have been running the numbers, right? It’s gonna go just fine!”
I nodded slowly.
“It’s gonna go fine…” I repeated, before she leaned in to kiss me, and gently pulled me by the wrist up onto the deck of the Burger.
She was probably right.
It probably would be fine.
Probably…
The trench I’d be exploring was a fairly recent discovery, located south of Greenland, in a vast stretch of water situated directly between Newfoundland and Iceland. It’d been uncovered during a topological survey in the area, and my team had taken an interest in investigating it further. At minimum, it was believed to descend to about 35,000 feet deep (over 10,000 meters), although the current theory was that it might have run even deeper. Determining the exact depth of the yet unnamed chasm was just one of the intents of our dive. The rest was studying the organisms that might be found down there, and how they might have differed from the ones found in other deep ocean trenches (some variation being expected given the isolated environment they were developing in.)
I had to admit, it would be exciting to see what new life might have developed in a place such as this, especially if it ran even deeper than our predictions… and that excitement was enough to make me chase the fear of the risks out of my mind, even if it was only briefly. While Sheila went to make sure we were ready to embark, I caught myself wandering out toward the rear of the ship where my submarine, The Tempura, waited for me. Did this submarine deserve a better name than The Tempura? Probably. But, this was my project, so I got to name it and since Burger was already taken, Tempura was the next best name I had. I liked to think that the subs namesake might approve… if she hadn’t died fifteen years ago. Shrimp don’t live very long.
As the ship began to depart, I caught myself reminiscing on how I’d ended up here… it really was all because of those damn shrimp, wasn’t it? Well… maybe not all because of the shrimp. But they were certainly part of it. Back when I was a lot younger, I never really gave much of a shit about anything at all. I guess I did have a thing for the ocean… the great, romantic vastness of it. The sense of adventure that it beckoned with. The endless mysteries that lay within its dark depths. I used to read about it all the time when I was a kid and I especially loved the classic adventures: Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, and Melville’s Moby Dick… but that love was just confined to my books. I didn’t really have any interest in actually going out and seeing the ocean. Hell, the idea of going to a beach and standing in the sun with my toes in the sand seemed miserable to me. I was happier (although calling myself happy might’ve been a little disingenuous) alone in my room, enjoying the company of books as opposed to people.
Then came the shrimp.
One of my online friends kept them as a hobby. He used to post pictures of his tanks all the time, and I always thought they looked kinda cool. He said that if I was interested in them, I should try keeping some for myself, and during a particularly bad bout of depression, I figured that maybe it might be worth a shot. So, I bought a cheap tank and some cheap decorations, bought myself some shrimp… and promptly watched them die over the next few weeks. That… that bothered me. I don’t know why but… it really bothered me. I’m still not entirely sure how to describe what it was that I was feeling. Guilt? Defeat? Shame? Here I was, trying to set up a habitat for these creatures just to have something to do to keep the suicidal ideation at bay, and I’d failed almost right out of the gate.
Was I just that bad? Was I just that much of a failure? Was this just going to go to shit just like everything else in my life did, because I was just such an abysmal piece of shit who barely deserved the life she had? Had I just not tried hard enough? Was I too apathetic? What had happened? What went wrong?
It bothered me.
It bothered me enough that I made up my mind to just dump the remaining shrimp down the toilet and toss everything. Forget about it. Move on. End of story. But… that wasn’t fair, was it? The shrimp didn’t all deserve to die just because I couldn’t be bothered, did they? Sure, they were just shrimp, but they were alive too, just like me. They deserved to be alive.
I owed it to them to try and keep them alive, didn’t I?
So… I didn’t dump the shrimp.
Instead, I started doing some reading. Started looking into what I was doing wrong and how to do it all better. I actually got really into it and a few months later, I had a nice planted tank. Looking back, it was amateur shit… but it made me happy. I’d even picked out names for my two favorite shrimp. Burger and Tempura. They’d been the last survivors of my original batch, and they were the ones I ended up caring about the most. Caring for Burger and Tempura gave me a purpose. It became an obsession… and that little obsession drove me to finally start turning my life around.
Like I said, shrimp don’t live for very long. Burger and Tempura were long dead by the time I graduated with a degree in Marine Biology. But they were the ones who inspired me to finally get my life in order. Hell, the shrimp were half the reason that I met Sheila. She was something of an aquarium fanatic too… we’d met on a forum, and gotten to talking. I found out that she just so happened to be studying Marine Biology at another school, and we bonded pretty quickly after that. After graduation, I moved to California to be with her and after that, the rest is history. She was my rock. She was the one who always pushed me to be the best possible version of myself… and I loved her more than I ever knew I could love someone.
A glance back at the shore, fading into the distance tore me out of my reminiscing, and I shifted my focus to the present, going over The Tempura to perform some quick checks. My colleagues and I would be checking and rechecking the submarine over the next two days as we made our way toward the dive spot. Considering the danger that descending that deep posed, I didn’t want to take a single unnecessary risk.
I had too much to live for, after all.
***
The day of the dive, I couldn’t notice how excited the rest of the crew seemed… well… Sheila’s usual crew seemed excited. I guess to them, this was just another research expedition, no different than the ones Sheila usually took this ship out on. Lately her research had been focused on the analysis and study of whale calls. Her recent voyages had involved following their pods, recording their calls and playing them back to see how the whales reacted. It was fascinating stuff, but my research was admittedly a lot different than that.
My obsession had drawn me to the denizens of the deep sea. I’d used The Burger for expeditions before, although none of them had been on quite the same scale as this one. Up until today, the most ambitious thing I’d done was send down unmanned submersibles with cameras. Those submersibles had typically returned. We had lost a few early on due to technical glitches, but the past few years had been blissfully uneventful. Logically, this dive would probably be uneventful as well. But it was still hard to get the jitters out of my head.
My team and I did the final checks necessary to make sure that The Tempura was good to go, before setting up the crane to begin lifting it up. In less than an hour, I’d be inside of that thing, descending to the darkest depths of the ocean.
It didn’t feel real.
I felt Sheila’s hand on my shoulder, and looked over at her.
“Moment of truth, huh?” She asked. She probably meant it to sound encouraging, but it just sounded ominous.
“Moment of truth…” I replied.
“You’re gonna be okay, honey. I know you will.”
She reached out to gently squeeze my hand and gave me a reassuring smile that I meekly returned.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be okay,” I agreed, although there was an element of a lie in it. Statistically, yes. It probably WOULD be okay. But there was that lingering anxiety in the back of my mind that just wouldn’t go away. I looked quietly out at the submarine before me and couldn’t shake the thought that it sort of looked like a giant coffin. Unconsciously, I found myself squeezing Sheila’s hand tighter than normal. She just held me close and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, before gently rubbing my back.
“You’ll be okay,” She promised.
“Dr. Jenner, we’re ready for you.” I heard one of my colleagues say.
Moment of truth.
I took one last look at Sheila, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips for luck. She smiled at me, and I smiled back anxiously at her before heading over toward the submarine.
The crew helped me enter the cockpit and get myself situated inside. The cockpit of the Tempura was fairly cramped and not particularly comfortable. Space and comfort aren’t really luxuries you can afford in a submarine like this. The instruments I needed took up a lot of space, leaving little room for me in there… and I am not a very big person.
Once I was inside, they sealed the hatch. Then the diagnostics checks began.
“Grayson, can you hear us in there?” I heard Sheila say through the radio.
“Loud and clear,” I replied.
“Great. We’ll keep in constant radio contact, just to monitor the signal. In the meanwhile, how’s everything looking in there?”
“Green across the board so far,” I said, although I hadn’t finished running all my final checks yet. Ultimately, nothing was out of place.
This submarine was as good to go as it was going to get.
“I’m all good in here,” I said once I was done. “You can drop me when you’re ready.”
“You got it, honey. Let’s get you in the water, run one final round of tests and start lowering you down.”
A short while later, I felt the submarine begin to move as the crane lifted it off the deck and lowered it into the water. The Tempura honestly resembled its namesake in a way, being long and cigar shaped, only vertically oriented instead of horizontally oriented. We’d admittedly taken more than a few design cues from James Cameron’s Deepsea Challenger. Why fix what isn’t broken, after all?
Once I was in the water, a 1000 pound releasable ballast weight would cause the submarine to sink. Releasing that weight was also my ticket back to the surface, and I could either trigger it from inside the cockpit, or, in the event that the release failed for any reason, it would trigger automatically after roughly 12 hours of exposure to salt water.
Ideally, this would be the first of a number of dives I’d be undertaking… and if all went according to plan, the Tempura could be the first of many similar submarines that would allow other researchers to safely and effectively descend to extreme depths. If all went well, this could be a massive leap forward for researchers like me, allowing us to better explore the deepest depths of the Hadal Zone and learn all we could about the ecosystems down there via direct observation.
If all went well.
If.
Through the viewport, I watched as I was lowered into the ocean. A few of the other crew members had donned diving gear to escort me down, and after they did their final checks and I did mine, we were fully ready to go.
“All’s green across the board,” I said into the radio. “You can start my descent.”
“I hear you, honey,” Sheila replied. “We’re letting you go. Have fun down there.”
“Yeah, I’ll try…” I said quietly as finally, my submarine began its descent.
I took a deep breath, and told myself again that everything would go fine. We had checked everything on this submarine. We’d tested it rigorously. I wouldn’t have allowed myself to set foot inside of it if I hadn’t personally assured that it was safe. But anxiety never really goes away, does it? The crew couldn’t accompany me far. After only a few meters, they fell behind me as I sank deeper and deeper into the infinite, empty blue of the ocean. Soon after, the tether was released.
I was officially on my own.
“60 feet,” I heard Sheila say over the radio. “How are you doing in there?”
“Good,” I replied. “Doing… doing good.”
The submarine continued to descend. Through the viewport, I could see a few stray fish, but nothing particularly eye catching. I almost felt alone down there… almost…
“120 feet…” Sheila said.
“Still doing good,” I replied.
The descent continued, as the waters slowly grew darker and darker.
“400 feet…”
Everything around me just kept getting darker and darker. Only a fraction of the light from the sun ever reached these depths… and I’d be lying if I said that darkness didn’t feel a little… oppressive.
“800 feet… still feeling good?”
“Yeah, still feeling good…” I said, although it was a bit of a lie. If anything, I was second guessing all of this, but I wasn’t about to say that out loud.
“1000 feet… still good?”
“Still good…” I murmured. “I hear you loud and clear.”
Deeper… deeper… deeper.
“1500 feet…”
Three miles. I was three miles away from home. Three miles away from Sheila.
“2000 feet…”
Still a ways to go.
“3000 feet…”
By this point, it was fully dark outside of my cockpit. Outside, all I could see was inky darkness. Even the submarine’s lights didn’t really cut through it. And the kicker? Relatively speaking, I wasn’t that deep. Fishing trawlers reached deeper than this. Better to conserve power until I was at the bottom. My descent continued.
“6000 feet… still good?”
“Still good…”
The check ins were becoming less frequent. My descent still continued… deeper… deeper… deeper. By now, I’d entered the Hadal Zone. But there was still so much deeper o go.
“8000 feet…”
This was past the depths that most whales would dive to… and I still had a ways to go.
“10,000 feet.”
This was close to where the ocean floor usually bottomed out… and yet there was still so much further to go. No. I was really only a third of the way there. How long had it been?Not much had happened beyond my descent and a few sightings out of my viewport, but time had been passing. A glance at my watch confirmed it’d been almost an hour since I’d started to sink… and I knew I wasn’t even close to the bottom yet. The submarine continued to descend, sinking ever deeper as I dropped into an infinite darkness that few had ever dared to witness.
“15,000 feet.”
This check in came later than the others. At this point, Sheila and the crew must have figured that no news was good news, and they were right. I just continued to sink peacefully, down into the crushing depths of the ocean.
These were the depths that one might normally find deep sea fish… and yet I was going somewhere even deeper than that.
“20,000 feet…”
So close…
I continued to sink.
“25,000 feet.”
Soon… and finally…
“30,000 feet. You still doing alright, honey?”
“Yeah… yeah, I’m doing good,” I assured her. I was so close…
By this point, my real work had begun. I’d engaged the lights and begun documenting what little I could see using the on board cameras. Granted, there wasn’t much life at these depths and what little there was, was scarcely documented. Most of what was down here consisted of invertebrates and microscopic life that seemed to float past my viewport.
The light seemed to draw a few creatures in search of food. Small, hardy things that resembled shrimp.
“How’s it looking, Grayson?”
“Dark,” I said, half joking. “We’ve got some life… shrimp. They’re translucent. Can’t get a great look at them… but we’ll see what the cameras pick up.”
“They’ve recognized you as a friend,” Sheila said. I could almost see the smile on her lips as she said it.
“Yeah…” I replied, “Tempura sent them a message, told them I’d be down. How am I looking on depth?”
“35,000 feet… you seeing a bottom yet?”
“No… not that I would until I was there.”
“Damn… how deep does this go?”
“It can’t go that deep…” I murmured, although I really wasn’t so sure about that.
The submarine continued to sink…
36,000 feet…
37,000 feet…
38,000 feet… and then finally, just past the 39,000 foot mark, I finally saw solid ground below me.
Looking through my viewport, I could see a familiar dark brown diatomaceous sludge, covering the seafloor. Microscopic life, likely similar to what had been observed in other deep sea trenches, such as the Challenger Deep.
I needed to gather a sample.
As my submarine reached the bottom, I extended the mechanical arms, pressed flat against the surface of the Tempura, and opened the collection port near the bottom of the ship. Slowly, I sifted some of the sludge into the port. My disturbance of the seafloor kicked up a cloud of the microbial colony, and I could’ve sworn I saw something wiggling through the debris. A pale, white thing, perhaps some sort of sea cucumber? I hastily angled my submarines camera to try and catch a glimpse of it, before returning to my collection. Even in this forlorn place, there was still so much to see! And here I was… completely forgetting my fear as the excitement took hold of me! Few people had ever been down to these unfathomable depths… and yet here I was.
It didn’t feel real but it was! I had reached the deepest part of the ocean!
“How’s it going down there?” I heard Sheila ask. Her voice was a little garbled. The connection down here was faltering.
“It’s beautiful…” I said. “I can’t wait for you to see it!”
“I’ll bet…”
“I’m going to do a sweep of the area, see what samples I can gather,” I said. “What’s my time right now?”
“Three hours. You’ve got nine before your connection to the weight deteriorates and you start to ascend.”
“I’ll make the most of it,” I said. The plan was only to stay down there for six hours, and I didn’t want to push that limit. Life support would only last me for so long, and one little error was all it would take for the ungodly pressure down here to crush me.
I began to move the submarine. Mobility was limited. This thing wasn’t built to travel far. But I still had some limited movement. I recorded all that I could, filming the shrimp that investigated my light, and the things that slithered and crawled through the muck, likely feeding on the carpet of single celled organisms that populated these depths.
The first two hours were… well… I hesitate to call them uneventful, they were actually very fascinating, but little of note happened beyond my recording of a few specimens.
Midway through the third hour though, as I was reaching one of the rock walls of the abyss, I noticed something just above the edge of my viewport swimming away from the light. I could’ve sworn I saw slender, pale tentacles of some sort. Was that a squid? Were there squid down this deep? I wasn’t aware of any species of known squid who could reach these depths… but in this unknown place, what use was the known?
I moved my light and my camera to try and catch another glimpse of it, but whatever it was, it seemed to be gone. Maybe I’d see another one. I still had plenty of time.
“You made a noise. What’d you see?” Sheila asked.
“Something big… I think,” I said.
“Down there? Like a fish?”
“Squid. You wouldn’t find any vertebrates down this deep… the pressure would crush their bones.”
“Jeez…”
I didn’t reply to that, still searching for the thing I’d seen. I shone my light up along the walls of the chasm and angled my camera up as far as it would go. I could see a few volcanic vents, spewing dark clouds into the darkness, and more diatoms. But not much else. Strange invertebrates crawled along the walls. Small creatures, no bigger than an inch long. Related to isopods, perhaps? If I could collect one as a sample, I would have… although taking any of those back to the surface would surely kill them. They were built to live under the impossible pressure of these depths. Taking them to the surface would rip them apart.
I went back to my research, and it wasn’t long until I saw something in the darkness, just on the edge of where my flashlight reached. Trailing white tendrils, snaking their way through the darkness. My eyes narrowed as I moved the submarine forward, trying to catch whatever it was in the light. I saw the shape move, its body turning… I saw its tendrils unfurling. Whatever this was, it was big. It was almost as big as The Tempura… although it was also slender. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought I was looking at some sort of floating debris, but this far down? No. And debris wouldn’t move like that.
This had to be a deepsea squid… or perhaps some other type of cephalopod? Something that preyed upon the various invertebrates down here, perhaps? It seemed to float, just out of sight for a bit, as I tried to get closer. I angled up my light to get a better look at it. The light seemed to shine through it, like some sort of ghost… but I did manage to get a look at it.
Although that look…
That single look made me freeze up.
This things slender tendrils certainly resembled a cephalopod of some sort, but the rest of it… the rest of it looked like something else entirely. Its body was thin, emaciated and translucent, yet despite that it still had characteristics that almost seemed… human. It wasn’t human! Not by any stretch of imagination, but the resemblance was there. It almost reminded me of an exhibit I’d seen in a museum once, depicting a preserved, fully removed human nervous system. I could see a similar shape in its translucent body. Its head seemed almost human as well… albeit with no eyes, and a lamprey like mouth I could only describe as fleshy yet crablike.
Still, despite having no eyes I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was looking at me. And that was when I felt something hit the submarine.
I felt a sudden jolt of panic in my chest. For a moment, I thought that the pressure had started to crush me, but no… no, everything was still fine. Something had just hit me. But what? It didn’t take long before I got my answer.
Another pale creature floated past my viewport, swirling gracefully in the cold dark waters. I watched it for a moment with wide eyes, before noticing its ‘head’ turning slightly toward me. Then, almost instantly, it launched itself at the submarine, darting toward me with blinding speed.
I heard a distinct THUD as its body collided with me, and I could see its pale tendrils pressing against the viewport, twisting and writhing violently. It was trying to attack me. The first creature that I’d seen lunged as well, pounding on my submarine with another THUD. And moments later, I could hear more impacts against the hull. There were more of them… and they did not like having me down there.
“What’s going on?” Sheila asked.
“Somebody doesn’t like me…” I said. “One of the animals down here… some kind of squid, it’s just started attacking the hull.”
“How bad is the damage?”
“Not sure… could be nothing, could be-”
I felt the submarine shake as I tried to move it. The thrusters that pushed me forward weren't responding. Had something gotten caught in it? One of the creatures perhaps?
“Grayson?!” Sheila asked.
“Lost propulsion…” I said. “Fuck… I can’t move.”
“Then drop the weight and come up!”
“No, it’s fine, there’s no other damage, I can still use the port and starboard thrusters to-”
“Grayson!”
I paused. There was genuine panic in her voice… enough to make me realize that even if these things stood little chance of actually breaching the hull, taking the risk would be a fatal mistake.
“I’m on my way up…” I finally said, before reaching out to disengage the ballast weights.
Immediately, I felt myself beginning to rise, although the tentacles clinging to my viewport didn’t disappear.
“We’ve got you…” Sheila said. “Rising up to 38,000 feet.”
The submarine continued to rise, but the creatures clinging to me went nowhere. In fact… I was sure I could see more of them. More pale shapes coming up through the darkness, and these ones filled me with dread. I thought I had been looking at some sort of eerie undiscovered life. But seeing what was coming up toward me now… I knew that I was looking at so much more. The creatures swimming up toward me through the darkness carried weapons… makeshift stone spears and daggers. Primitive tools… but tools all the same.
Signs that these were more than just undiscovered animals.
Much. Much more.
The word: ‘Mermaids’ crossed through my mind, but these were something far different than the ones I’d heard of in folklore. These looked like they’d swam out of the depths of hell itself. Boneless pale tendrils reached for me… and they were getting closer. The pale shapes reached my submarine as I rose higher. I kept praying to whatever God may be listening that the dropping pressure would force them off. The air in a submarine is pressurized, so during normal operation, there should have been no danger of decompression sickness for me.
For them… well… normally I’d feel a little guilty about subjecting an undiscovered species of deep sea mermaids to the horrors of the Bends. But given my circumstances, I didn’t have a lot of other options.
They didn’t let go, though.
They should have. But they didn’t.
What were these things?
I saw a splayed hand press against my viewport. Or… it somewhat resembled a hand. It had suckers on it, like a tentacle and the ‘fingers’ curled open like tentacles. The creature crawled over my viewport, clinging to The Tempura as it rose, and I could see the folds of its crablike mouth opening and pressing against the glass. I could see some sort of bile rising up through its translucent throat, before it secreted it all over my viewport. Was it trying to digest me? Was that how these things fed? How strong were its stomach acids? Were they strong enough to-
The window cracked.
My heart skipped a beat.
“No… no, no no…”
“Grayson, what’s wrong?!”
“They cracked the window… S-Sheila they… oh God… oh fuck, they just…”
“THEY DID WHAT?”
“It’s secreting some sort of enzyme… it’s on the window, it’s… FUCK… I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die…”
“You’re not gonna die, baby! Just… just keep ascending, okay? You’re at 30,000 feet… just keep going…”
I nodded, and kept on rising, although the question of whether or not the rest of the creatures were trying to digest the other parts of my submarine floated through my mind. How much damage could The Tempura take before it imploded? How much longer did I have? The submarine still continued to rise… 25,000 feet… almost halfway home… almost… almost.
The creature outside of my viewport slithered along the glass, searching for a better area to try and digest. Past him, I noticed a few of his companions dropping off. Maybe the change in pressure finally was getting to them?
From the corner of my eye, I suddenly noticed a flashing light. A warning. The hydraulics on one of the Tempura’s arms were shot… what else was damaged?
I checked my oxygen levels. 32%.
I should’ve had at least 14 hours of air. I’d only been down there for about 6 hours… I shouldn’t have been this low.
31%.
No… no, no, no, no… they’d damaged the air tanks!
30%.
29%
“20,000 feet!” Sheila said. “You still with me, baby?”
“Y-yeah…” I said. I didn’t mention my air situation. I didn’t need to worry her further.
The submarine continued its ascent.
15,000 feet.
24%. I was running out of time.
The creatures still clung to the Tempura. How had the pressure change not killed them yet? My oxygen was dropping faster than before. I was hemorrhaging air. Another crack formed across my viewport. I let out a little, involuntary gasp before trying to force myself to stop hyperventilating.
“Grayson, what was that?”
“I-it’s fine…” I stammered, “It’s fine!”
“Grayson what the hell is going on down there?!”
“They’re still on the submarine… they’re still…” I paused, looking at my oxygen levels. “19%...”
“19% of what? Grayson what’s going on!”
I paused.
18%.
“Air… I’m… I’m losing air…”
“That’s fine, you’re going to make it!” She said, although I heard her voice cracking a little. “You’re gonna make it!”
I didn’t answer.
12,000 feet.
11,000 feet…
My oxygen level continued to drop.
15%.
14%.
12%.
9,000 feet.
The creatures still clung to me, as the submarine continued to rise. The one on my viewport was still there, slowly crawling along the glass again. I stared into its eyeless face and swore I was looking at the face of my killer.
7,000 feet…
Oxygen had dropped to 9%. It dropped to 8% before I even got to 6,000 feet. I was going to die here…
The viewport cracked again and I squeezed my eyes shut. The submarine rocked. I was sure one of the thrusters had been damaged. My ascent slowed.
“Grayson, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry Sheila…”
Another crack spread across my viewport.
“I’m… I’m not making it back up…”
“YES YOU ARE!”
“I’m sorry…” The tears started to come as the reality of my death became clearer and clearer… this was it.
“YOU’RE COMING BACK UP, YOU HEAR ME! GODDAMNIT, I’LL BRING YOU BACK UP!”
“I love you…”
That creatures face pressed against the glass. It vomited more of its stomach acid onto the cracked glass, and I wondered if this might finally be what broke it. Part of me hoped it would be… the one good thing about dying this deep was that at least I’d die quickly. My suffering would be over. Then, the creature suddenly pulled back, twisting and writhing violently. I saw other shapes moving past it in the water, other ‘mermaids’ that had been clinging to the submarine.
Something was agitating them.
Something was scaring them off.
Then I heard it, over the radio… whale songs.
“What the hell…?”
“Grayson, are you still there?!”
“I… they’re finally breaking off. Sheila, what did you do?”
“I’m broadcasting some of the orca recordings we’ve been using. Are they still clinging to you?”
“No! They’re backing off! I… whatever you’re doing, keep doing it!”
The submarine kept rising.
5,000 feet.
4,000 feet.
4% oxygen.
I could still do this, right?
The submarine continued to rise.
3%.
3,000 feet.
2,000 feet.
2%.
1,000 feet… so close… I was so close…
I could almost see the surface through my viewport, rushing up toward me. I tried not to breathe. Tried not to move. All I did was hope.
500 feet.
I closed my eyes.
“Grayson we have your signal, we’re coming to pick you up!”
Sheila’s voice sounded so far away as my submarine finally breached the surface of the water… and with the last of my strength, I pulled the emergency release on the hatch, and threw it open, taking in lungful after lungful of fresh salty air.
I didn’t dare so much as touch the water beneath me… but I was topside again, and in the distance, I could see The Burger!
“We see you!” Sheila said, “We’ve got you baby… we’ve got you…”
“I see you too…” I said through the tears. “Thank you… thank you…” I didn’t have any words left in me after that.
As soon as I was back on the ship, I collapsed into Sheila’s arms, breaking down into tears as I clung to her, terrified that at any moment, some sort of unspoken other shoe would drop and I’d lose her all over again.
“Shh… it’s alright baby… I’ve got you… you’re safe… you’re safe…” I felt her fingers running through my air and I knew that what she said was true.
I was home.
I was safe.
***
I left my colleagues to review the data that the Tempura gathered during its short expedition. As far as I know, they haven’t published anything. I have a few ideas as to why, but I’ll keep those to myself. Let’s just say that some people would rather this information not become public.
I have a feeling that the Tempura may not be diving again for some time, if ever. I will confess that I do consider that a bit of a shame. Despite everything… I would consider it a success. It endured far more stressful conditions than I had expected, and from what I heard, required fewer repairs than I’d thought it would. But, even if it was approved for another dive, it wouldn’t be me piloting it. No. I will never be setting foot inside of that machine again, nor will I ever be returning to what my colleagues have been quietly referring to as ‘The Jenner Trench’.
I can’t.
Every night, I wake up crying after dreaming of pale shapes outside of my cracked viewport, clinging to Sheila and sobbing. I can’t put myself in that situation again.
I can’t.
Instead, I think I’m going to spend the next few years on solid ground. There’s a teaching position available at a local university. I think that might be the best place for me right now. Who knows, maybe I can help some other deadbeat discover a passion for marine biology.
After everything, my love for the sea remains unchanged… I’m just a little more wary of it, these days.
2024.05.15 05:30 delibirdguy Top 500 Songs Ever (Subjective)
Over the course of the past few months I have been working on compiling a list of my 500 favorite songs. It was sort of challenge that I gave myself and I'm super pumped with how it turned out. There were a few rules (only 5 songs per artist being the big rule, among a few others), and here's the list I came up with. Thought it was fun, so wanted to share here and see if it might spark any discussion about song placement, lack of songs/artists, or see if anyone had any similar lists. All thoughts are welcome! (and if you don't care to comb through all 500 songs for your favorite song or artist I'm more than happy to help you track 'em down)
submitted by delibirdguy to Music [link] [comments]
- Trash Panda - Aging out of the 20th Century
- Djo - Roddy
- The Beatles - Don't Let Me Down
- Snail Mail - Heat Wave
- Phoebe Bridgers - Savior Complex
- Joji - SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK
- The Shins - The Fear
- Talking Heads - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
- The Cranberries - Linger
- Post Animal - Ralphie
- Hop Along - Not Abel
- The Beach Boys - Heroes And Villains
- Electric Light Orchestra - Livin' Thing
- The Monkees - As We Go Along
- Blondie - Heart Of Glass
- The Strokes - Oblivius
- Chet Baker - It's Always You
- The Beatles - Rain
- Electric Light Orchestra - Telephone Line
- Husbands - Must Be a Cop
- Faces - Ooh La La
- The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize??
- Frank Ocean - Nights
- Harry James - It's Been a Long, Long Time
- The Turtles - Happy Together
- Etta James - At Last
- The Zombies - The Way I Feel Inside
- The Beatles - Here, There And Everywhere
- The Beach Boys - God Only Knows
- Kanye West - Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1
- Briston Maroney - Sinkin'
- John Lennon - Oh My Love
- Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass - Ladyfingers
- Squirrel Flower - Headlights
- The Backseat Lovers - Maple Syrup
- The B-52's - Rock Lobster
- George Harrison - All Things Must Pass
- Snail Mail - Ben Franklin
- Laura Elliott - Grass Stains
- Djo - Chateau (Feel Alright)
- Tame Impala - Eventually
- The Backseat Lovers - Snowbank Blues
- Claude Debussy - Clair de Lune
- The Weeknd - Save Your Tears
- Talking Heads - Thank You for Sending Me an Angel
- The Zombies - Time of the Season
- The War On Drugs - Nothing to Find
- Queen - Brighton Rock
- The Dream Academy - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
- The B-52's - Strobe Light
- The Cranberries - Dreams
- Fugees - Killing Me Softly With His Song
- Molchat Doma - Тоска
- Tyler, The Creator - ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
- The Mamas & The Papas - Dream A Little Dream Of Me
- The Chords - Sh-Boom
- The Beatles - The Abbey Road Medley
- The Ronettes - Be My Baby
- The Who - Baba O'Riley
- Dr. Dog - Where'd All the Time Go?
- M83 - My Tears Are Becoming A Sea
- Billie Eilish - everything i wanted
- Outkast - Hey Ya!
- Nat King Cole - Orange Colored Sky
- The Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
- Four Tops - Reach Out I'll Be There
- Foreign Air - Shut Up and Show Me
- Leonard Cohen - So Long, Marianne
- dodie - If I'm Being Honest
- Briston Maroney - June
- Post Malone - Sunflower
- John Lennon - Isolation
- Buddy Holly & The Crickets - Not Fade Away
- Phoebe Bridgers - I Know The End
- Kanye West - All Falls Down
- Alvvays - Adult Diversion
- John Lennon - Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)
- Clairo - Amoeba
- The Beach Boys - I Know There's An Answer
- Paul McCartney - Let Me Roll It
- Frank Ocean - Ivy
- Radiohead - Motion Picture Soundtrack
- Djo - Mutual Future (Repeat)
- Phoebe Bridgers - Scott Street
- Childish Gambino - Me and Your Mama
- Pink Floyd - Astronomy Domine
- The Pied Pipers - Dream
- The Beach Boys - All I Wanna Do
- Djo - Change
- Второй этаж поражает - Крайности
- Little Richard - Lucille
- King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Shanghai
- Chet Baker - Deep In A Dream
- The Beatles - It's All Too Much
- Post Animal - Dirtpicker
- The B-52's - Love Shack
- EDEN - foreve/over
- Kanye West - Ultralight Beam
- The Zombies - Going Out Of My Head
- Talking Heads - Found a Job
- Snail Mail - Pristine
- Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love
- Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule The World
- WILLIS - I Think I Like When It Rains
- Chet Baker - But Not For Me
- Naked Eyes - Always Something There to Remind Me
- Tyler, The Creator - GONE, GONE / THANK YOU
- Djo - Half Life
- Trash Panda - Check Please
- Briston Maroney - Deep Sea Diver
- Beach Fossils - This Year
- Momma - Medicine
- Hop Along - Prior Things
- Talking Heads - Road to Nowhere
- Electric Light Orchestra - Turn to Stone
- Briston Maroney - It's Not My Fault
- Tyler, The Creator - NEW MAGIC WAND
- Snail Mail - Headlock
- Phil Collins - Take Me Home
- Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know
- The Beach Boys - Do It Again
- Tame Impala - Breathe Deeper
- Ella Fitzgerald - Misty
- Phoebe Bridgers - Waiting Room
- Kanye West - Runaway
- Daft Punk - Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers)
- Dire Straits - Money for Nothing
- Kendrick Lamar - Alright
- Black Country, New Road - Concorde
- George Harrison - If Not for You
- Harry Styles - Cherry
- Ms. Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing)
- Paul McCartney - Junk
- Wings - Maybe I'm Amazed [Live]
- Talking Heads - Houses in Motion
- Del Water Gap - Ode to a Conversation Stuck in Your Throat
- Pixies - Where Is My Mind?
- Queen - Seven Seas Of Rhye
- Paul McCartney - Jet
- Sufjan Stevens - Death with Dignity
- A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran (So Far Away)
- Tame Impala - Let It Happen
- Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love
- Clairo - Management
- Tommy James & The Shondells - I Think We're Alone Now
- Fergie - Clumsy
- Childish Gambino - This Is America
- Prefab Sprout - The King of Rock 'N' Roll
- Joy Again - Looking Out for You
- Beach House - Space Song
- John Lennon - Mind Games
- The Weeknd - Gasoline
- Weezer - Buddy Holly
- Phoebe Bridgers - Sidelines
- Tame Impala - New Person, Same Old Mistakes
- Lana Del Rey - A&W
- The Dillards - I've Just Seen a Face
- The Doors - Break on Through (To the Other Side)
- Julie London - I'm Glad There Is You
- 2Pac - California Love
- Dean Martin - Everybody Loves Somebody
- Snail Mail - Anytime
- The Strokes - The Adults Are Talking
- Jordana, TV Girl - Better in the Dark
- Juice WRLD - Hide (feat. Seezyn)
- The Wild Reeds - Get Better
- Finom - Mine
- Hop Along - One That Suits Me
- The Killers - Mr. Brightside
- Michael Cera - Clay Pigeons
- Clairo - Bags
- Prince - Let's Go Crazy
- The Zombies - She's Not There
- Blackstreet - No Diggity
- Frank Sinatra - I've Got You Under My Skin
- John Denver - Take Me Home, Country Roads
- Harry James - I'm Beginning to See The Light
- The Clash - London Calling
- Charles Bradley - Changes
- Buddy Holly - (Ummmm, Oh Yeah) Dearest
- Eagles - Seven Bridges Road [Live]
- Moxie - Honey
- Faces - Stay with Me
- Post Animal - How Do You Feel
- New Order - Age of Consent
- Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
- Lana Del Rey - Doin' Time
- Twin Peaks - Blue Coupe
- Kanye West - Gold Digger
- Fruit Bats - The Bottom of It
- Frank Sinatra - Somethin' Stupid
- Lorde - Perfect Places
- Martha Tilton - Exactly Like You
- King Crimson - 21st Century Schizoid Man
- Glen Campbell - Southern Nights
- Claire Rosinkranz - Frankenstein
- Guillemots - Made-Up Lovesong #43
- Fleetwood Mac - Say You Love Me
- Frankie Valli - Can't Take My Eyes off You
- The Crickets - Don't Ever Change
- Paul Anka - Put Your Head On My Shoulder
- George Harrison - Isn't It a Pity
- Trash Panda - Off
- Super Besse - Holod
- Beyoncé - Hold Up
- Charlie Burg - I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You
- Eagles - Peaceful Easy Feeling
- Ella Fitzgerald - It's A Lovely Day Today
- PERMSKY KRAY - Дорогой Человек
- The Little Dippers - Forever
- The B-52's - There's a Moon in the Sky (Called the Moon)
- Patti Page - Old Cape Cod
- Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
- The Soggy Bottom Boys - I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow
- Trash Panda - Things Will Never Change
- Hop Along - Well-dressed
- Sixpence None The Richer - Kiss Me
- TV Girl - Daughter of a Cop
- LAUNDRY DAY - Jane
- Tyler, The Creator - EARFQUAKE
- Sigue Sigue Sputnik - Love Missile F1-11
- Joji - Gimme Love
- The Backseat Lovers - Pool House
- The Weeknd - Take My Breath
- Mild High Club - Homage
- Doc Watson - Am I Born to Die?
- Daniel Caesar - Streetcar
- The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon
- John Lennon - #9 Dream
- Tame Impala - Elephant
- Chuck Berry - You Never Can Tell
- Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
- KIDS SEE GHOSTS - 4th Dimension
- Soft Cell - Tainted Love
- The B-52's - Song for a Future Generation
- Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
- Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans
- Billie Eilish - Halley's Comet
- Glenn Miller - In the Mood
- Kid Bloom - Control
- The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build A Home
- Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through The Grapevine
- Brenda Lee - If You Love Me (Really Love Me)
- TV Girl - Lovers Rock
- Art Lown - Knew You Well
- Dean Martin - Ain't That A Kick In The Head
- Miniature Tigers - Like or Like Like
- Electric Light Orchestra - Sweet Talkin' Woman
- The Hunts - Ages
- The Cars - Good Times Roll
- Bill Withers - Lovely Day
- Drake - God's Plan
- Kansas - Point of Know Return
- The Neighbourhood - Stargazing
- The Clash - Rock the Casbah
- Hop Along - What the Writer Meant
- Briston Maroney - Under My Skin
- Jack Stauber - Buttercup
- King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Ya Love
- Ginger Root - Loretta
- Thompson Twins - Hold Me Now
- Frank Ocean - Pyramids
- Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)
- Destroy Boys - I Threw Glass at My Friend's Eyes and Now I'm on Probation
- Mild High Club - Dionysian State
- Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
- Kevin Abstract - Empty
- The Frights - Crust Bucket
- Stealers Wheel - Stuck In The Middle With You
- The Shins - Fighting in a Sack
- fun. - We Are Young (feat. Janelle Monáe)
- Lil Uzi Vert - Money Longer
- Miniature Tigers - Cannibal Queen
- The Doors - Touch Me
- Jean Dawson - Clear Bones
- King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Catching Smoke
- Molchat Doma - Люди Надоели
- The Go-Go's - Our Lips Are Sealed
- Billie Eilish - ocean eyes
- BOYO - Crown
- The 1975 - Somebody Else
- Husbands - She's a Betty
- Syd Barrett - If It's In You
- Trash Panda - Atlanta Girls
- Frank Ocean - Godspeed
- Alice Phoebe Lou - Glow
- Childish Gambino - Redbone
- New Order - Blue Monday
- Post Animal - Schedule
- Harry Styles - Fine Line
- Harry James - I'll Get By (As Long As I Have You)
- Depeche Mode - Never Let Me Down Again
- Chet Baker - I Fall In Love Too Easily
- The Cranberries - Put Me Down
- John Mayer - Edge of Desire
- George Harrison - All Those Years Ago
- Electric Light Orchestra - The Diary of Horace Wimp
- Alex Clare - Too Close
- Eric B. & Rakim - Know The Ledge
- Peter Frampton - Show Me The Way [Live]
- Simon & Garfunkel - Mrs. Robinson
- Black Eyes - Deformative
- The Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody
- Bonny Light Horseman - Deep In Love
- The Walker Brothers - The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore
- Cage The Elephant - Cigarette Daydreams
- Hot Flash Heat Wave - Raindrop
- Clairo - Sofia
- Kendrick Lamar - PRIDE.
- Camille Saint-Saëns - The Swan
- Weezer - Say It Ain't So
- C418 - Sweden
- Lana Del Rey - Let The Light In (feat. Father John Misty)
- The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
- Pickin' On Series - Those to Come
- Lana Del Rey - Grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he's deep-sea fishing (feat. RIOPY)
- John Mayer - Moving On and Getting Over
- Field Medic - POWERFUL LOVE
- Cage The Elephant - Flow
- Joji - Run
- The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again
- Boston - Peace of Mind
- Ben E. King - This Magic Moment
- David Bowie - Starman
- Beastie Boys - Sabotage
- Harry Belafonte - Banana Boat (Day-O)
- Gene Krupa & His Orchestra - Rhumboogie
- The Cardigans - Lovefool
- The Kinks - You Really Got Me
- The Zombies - She's Coming Home
- Michael Jackson - Thriller
- Moxie - Blue Skies
- The Mamas & The Papas - Straight Shooter
- Peter, Paul and Mary - Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
- Green Day - Brain Stew
- Dua Lipa - Levitating (feat. DaBaby)
- The Police - Roxanne
- Britney Spears - Toxic
- Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels
- Rex Orange County - Pluto Projector
- The Strokes - Call It Fate, Call It Karma
- Portugal. The Man - Feel It Still
- The Black Crowes - Twice As Hard
- Ted Nugent - Stranglehold
- fun. - Some Nights
- Wings - Silly Love Songs
- Paramore - Still into You
- Peter Frampton - Baby, I Love Your Way [Live]
- The Monkees - Last Train to Clarksville
- Royel Otis - Oysters In My Pocket
- The Backseat Lovers - Growing/Dying
- Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
- Post Animal - Goggles
- Erik Satie - Gymnopédie No. 1
- Childish Gambino - IV. Sweatpants
- Steely Dan - Dirty Work
- ABBA - Lay All Your Love On Me
- Still Woozy - Goodie Bag
- Arlo Parks - Black Dog
- Goth Babe - Weekend Friend
- George & the Handsomes - Sleepy Beats
- boygenius - 20
- The Mills Brothers - You Always Hurt The One You Love
- Travis Scott - SICKO MODE
- Pinegrove - Need 2
- The Backseat Lovers - Sinking Ship
- Franz Schubert - Ave Maria
- Zac Brown Band - Knee Deep (feat. Jimmy Buffett)
- Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
- Simon & Garfunkel - Cecilia
- The Cranberries - Zombie
- Daniel Caesar - Japanese Denim
- Billie Holiday - Easy Living
- ISLAND - By Your Side
- Phil Collins - Tomorrow Never Knows
- Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin'
- The Four Freshmen - Day By Day
- Fleetwood Mac - The Chain
- Billy Joel - Big Shot
- Billie Eilish - Happier Than Ever
- Yot Club - down bad
- Rihanna - Stay
- Fleetwood Mac - Landslide
- Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky - Swan Lake, Op. 20, Act 2: No. 10, Scene. Moderato
- The White Stripes - Fell In Love With a Girl
- Alvvays - Easy On Your Own?
- Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - If We Were Vampires
- Blackway - What's Up Danger (with Black Caviar)
- Albert Hammond - It Never Rains in Southern California
- Matt Maltese - Jupiter
- John Denver - Mother Nature's Son
- Childish Gambino - Sober
- Claire Rosinkranz - Pools and Palm Trees
- The Cars - Just What I Needed
- The Doors - Light My Fire
- Blondie - Tomorrow Never Knows
- King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Hell's Itch
- The Japanese House - Saw You In A Dream
- Franz Schubert - String Quartet No. 13 in A Minor, Op. 29 No. 1, D. 804
- The Drifters - White Christmas
- The 1975 - Robbers
- George Harrison - Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea
- The Frights - Tongues
- Paramore - Ain't It Fun
- Billy Joel - Pressure
- Frank Sinatra - My Way
- Art Lown - Going Back to Carolina
- Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are
- Under The Rug - Lonesome & Mad
- The Mamas & The Papas - Dedicated To The One I Love
- Foster The People - Sit Next to Me
- Weezer - Undone - The Sweater Song
- Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
- Tia Blake - Plastic Jesus
- Los Bravos - Bring a Little Lovin'
- Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
- Minnie Riperton - Les Fleurs
- Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself
- Cody Fry - I Hear a Symphony
- Gringo Sapiens - Driver's Licence
- Vacations - Relax
- Glitter Party - time waits
- Steve Lacy - Bad Habit
- The Crystals - Then He Kissed Me
- The Pied Pipers - Mairzy Doats
- Mitski - Bug Like an Angel
- James Ray - I've Got My Mind Set On You
- Clairo - Bubble Gum
- Masayoshi Takanaka - SEXY DANCE
- Nat King Cole - (I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons
- Sleigh Bells - Crown On the Ground
- Olivia Rodrigo - favorite crime
- No Doubt - Just A Girl
- Foreigner - Long, Long Way from Home
- Heart - Crazy On You
- The Hunts - Darlin'
- David Bowie - Heroes
- Alice Phoebe Lou - Hammer
- Thee Oh Sees - Toe Cutter - Thumb Buster
- Roar - I Can't Handle Change
- TV Girl - Birds Dont Sing
- Laufey - From The Start
- Chas McDevitt Skiffle Group - Freight Train (feat. Nancy Whiskey)
- Metro Boomin - Am I Dreaming
- Liana Flores - rises the moon
- POP ETC - Speak Up
- Jean Knight - Mr. Big Stuff
- The Platters - Twilight Time
- Derek & The Dominos - Layla
- King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Homeless Man in Adidas
- Charlie Burg - Lovesong (The Way)
- Hot Flash Heat Wave - Gutter Girl
- ABBA - Fernando
- Mitski - My Love Mine All Mine
- Savannah Conley - More Than Fine
- Young the Giant - Mind Over Matter
- Future Crib - Yer Movin'
- Bob Dylan - Like a Rolling Stone
- benches - Violent
- Musical Youth - Pass The Dutchie
- Olivia Rodrigo - vampire
- Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone - City Of Stars
- Maya Hawke - Thérèse
- Current Joys - A Different Age
- Wayne Newton - Danke Schoen
- La Roux - Bulletproof
- Jason Segel, Walter - Man Or Muppet
- U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
- The Raconteurs - Steady, As She Goes
- The Ink Spots - Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall
- Ace of Base - The Sign
- Vulfpeck - 1612
- Nordista Freeze - Hey GiGi
- The Chainsmokers - New York City
- Suki Waterhouse - Johanna
- Pete Rodriguez - I Like It Like That
- Calvin Harris - Summer
- The Rare Occasions - Notion
- a-ha - Take on Me
- Rush - Working Man
- Traffic - Dear Mr. Fantasy
- Starbuck - Moonlight Feels Right
- Van Halen - Drop Dead Legs
- The Troggs - Wild Thing
- Led Zeppelin - Good Times Bad Times
- The Byrds - Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)
- Cream - Sunshine Of Your Love
- Justin Timberlake - SexyBack (feat. Timbaland)
- David Bowie - Suffragette City
- Ludwig van Beethoven - Sonata No. 14 in C-Sharp Minor, Op. 27, No. 2 "Moonlight"
- Avicii - Wake Me Up
- The Who - La-La-La-Lies
- The Spinners - The Rubberband Man
- MGMT - Time to Pretend
- Hootie & The Blowfish - Only Wanna Be With You
- Sheck Wes - Mo Bamba
- Claire Rosinkranz - 123
- Ringo Starr - Photograph
- The Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
- Duran Duran - Rio
2024.05.15 03:52 Calledinthe90s The Mortgage, Part 3
I accidentally posted this to my username instead of my subreddit so here is is:
The Mortgage, Part 3
“Fuck,” I said as I drove to work in the old beater that only started on the fourth try because it could tell that I was pissed off. Ray’s case started at two o’clock, and I was heading to the office to get ready. “Fuck fuck fuckity fucking fuck. Fuck.” I’d wanted to tell Angela about Ray’s case, and how I was sorry that I hadn’t wanted to help him, but now I would, I would help him, and I would win, but then I’d gotten her all riled up on something else, something totally different, something way more serious.
My wife had given me a triple ultimatum: fix things up with her father, save idiot Ray from Sy-Co Corp., and somehow find a downpayment for the place she wanted to buy, in the little townhouse infill project in Bixity. It was like demanding I do a double bank shot, and then run over to the baseball diamond and hit a home run after first pointing to where it would land, Babe Ruth style.
Angela was mad at me, seriously mad. She’d slipped out that morning before I was even awake, sliding quietly past me on the couch. I didn’t realize she was gone until I heard the faint click of the front door closing. I jumped up, tripped over a blanket, and by the time I got up and my robe on, the elevator down the hall dinged, and Angela was gone before I opened the apartment door.
I swore at myself some more and pounded the steering wheel, “I fucked up,” I said, several times as I hit the wheel over and over again, until I accidentally honked it, and then looked all sheepish when the guy in front of me gave me the finger. I reached my office without further incident, but instead of walking in the front door, I went further down the hall, and into the office of Mark Cecil-Rowe, Barrister, LL.D, the man with the finest speaking voice I ever heard. When I entered his office I forgot for a minute about Angela and her father and sleeping on the couch the night before. I forget about everything, except the reason that I had come to Cecil-Rowe’s office: to stump him with a legal problem that I had solved, but which I was pretty sure he could not. In other words, I had come to preen and to brag and to boast. No one likes a showoff, and I had come to show off. I put my hand on the door and turned the knob. After a brief pause, I flung open the door.
“I’m a goddamn genius,” I said as I strolled into the older man’s office.
I noticed the echo of a hastily closed desk drawer hanging in the air. In Aaron’s office, where I rented space, a sudden act of concealment implied cocaine, but with Cecil-Rowe, the item in question was probably a mickey of vodka. I had the sense that he’d been drinking a bit before I arrived, but his powers of observation were unimpaired, and when he looked into my face, his expression showed sympathy, and actual pain.
“What have you done now?” he said, as set the papers before him to one side, and readied himself to hear my latest tale of legal brilliance.
“I’m a genius,” I said.
“Oh dear. Have a seat.”
“No really, I am. I’m a genius. I got this case that everyone says you can’t win, but I’m gonna win it, and when I do, I’m gonna look like a genius.” Cecil-Rowe gave me a sad indulgent smile.
“Whenever you tell me you’re a genius, I am always concerned about what is to follow. When you get wrapped up in what you call your genius, you tend to ignore the more mundane things we lawyers have to do to win a case. You think you’re going to win by genius alone.”
“Let me tell you why I’m a goddamn genius.” With effort I wiped the smug, self-satisfied expression that was on my face.
“Tell me why you’re a genius,” Cecil-Rowe said, “while I pour us a coffee.” He heaved his bulky body up from his chair and shuffled over to a counter. He picked up a carafe of hot coffee sitting on a hot plate, and poured two cups. “Speak,” he said, handing me one. I took a sip of the coffee, and told Cecil-Rowe the tale of Cousin Ray: his purchase of a franchise from Sy-Co Corp, its swift demise, the crash and burn in Commercial Court, the Minutes of Settlement, the seventy-one kilometer limit, and lastly, Sy-Co’s motion scheduled for two p.m. that very day, seeking an interim injunction shutting down Ray’s place.
Cecil-Rowe absorbed all this without the need to take notes. Instead, he sat back while he eyed me, taking the occasional sip of coffee, and smiling at the extravagant flourishes and details that brought out Ray’s story to full effect.
“Obviously Ray is dead on arrival,” he said, “but I guess this is the part where you tell me how you’re going to win.”
So I told him how I was going to win, but it didn’t have the desired effect. “I told ya I’m a genius, Mr. C,” cueing him to applaud, to admit what a brilliant lawyer I was. But there was no applause from Mark Cecil-Rowe. He looked at me without so much as a smile.
“You can cling to that genius notion as a consolation prize, after you get whipped this afternoon in court.”
“No way,” I said, “not a chance. I got this thing won hands down. I’m gonna kick ass in court today and--”
“And how exactly do you plan to do that, if you don’t have evidence?”
“What?”
“Evidence, Calledinthe9os. It’s what lawyers like me use to beat geniuses like you.”
“But I’m gonna win without proof. I don’t need proof. The argument I’m gonna make, relies on simple facts that are totally obvious, so the judge is gonna--” Cecil-Rowe stuck up his hand.
“Stop right there. I know what’s coming. You’re going to ask the judge to take *judicial notice.”
And he was right. That was exactly what I was going to do.
There are some things so obvious that you didn’t have to prove them, things that everyone knew. You didn’t have to prove that water froze at zero degrees and boiled at a hundred, or that Bixity was between West Bay and East Bay.
“You got it,” I said, “judicial notice all the way.”
“You’re going to tell the judge that the centerpiece of your argument, the lynchpin of your case is a fact known to pretty well everyone, and so you don’t need proof.”
“Exactly,” I said. Cecil-Rowe took another sip of his coffee, and left me hanging in the silence for a while before he spoke.
“If that’s true, then why does coming up with that argument make you a genius?”
“Oh, I said,”I didn’t think of that.”
“It is acceptable to rely on judicial notice for minor, ancillary points. But you never should walk into court thinking that the court will take judicial notice of your entire defence. It’s just too risky.”
“But how am I going to rustle up a witness in time for this afternoon?”
“Worry about that after you leave my office. I can’t help you with that. What I want to know, is why you’re doing this at the last minute.”
“What makes you think I’m doing this at the last minute?”
“Because you never would have resorted to judicial notice if you were properly prepared. If you’d opened this case a bit earlier, you’ve have everything lined up. But you got to work on it late, and so you want to rely on judicial notice. You’ve messed up, Calledinthe90s, and you know what my rule is when you mess up.” Cecil-Rowe didn’t extend aid to me, until I admitted the error of my ways. It was infuriating, but he was inflexible. So I fessed up.
“My idiot cousin Ray’s been trying to retain me for almost two weeks, but I was putting him off because I was mad at him. So now my wife’s mad at me, and if I don’t win this case, I’m dead. Plus her dad’s mad at me too and --” My brain roared into overdrive, a mess of family and law and fear, and at the centre of it, thoughts of Angela’s anger and her father. My mind took off, and then came to an instant halt at a helpful destination.
“Yes?” Cecil-Rowe said.
“Sorry. I just realized how to solve the evidence problem. Look, can I ask you about the thing I actually came here to ask you about?”
“You have a problem that’s worse than having no evidence? What could be worse than -- oh. You don’t have a retainer. Your client doesn't have any money.”
“Exactly. How do I get paid? That’s the problem.” I explained that Ray had no money, as in none, and that if he did have money, he wouldn’t spend it on me. Instead, he’d go back downtown and throw his cash at some big firm, who would take on his case, and proceed to lose it in a calm, careful, sober manner, ending in a reporting letter to Ray telling him that he’d lost.
“Now that’s a problem I can solve,” Cecil-Rowe said.
“Really? ‘Cause I can’t see a way around it. I think I’m gonna have to do this for free, and that really pisses me off.” Cecil-Rowe shook his head.
“You may or may not get paid, but you can set things up so that if you win, you’ll win pretty good.”
“How? Ray’s a deadbeat. Tapped out.”
“But is he desperate?”
“Totally. The first time he failed, he lost his own money, but if he goes under this time, he’s taking family money with him, and he’ll be the black sheep forever.”
“And he’s using family to emotionally blackmail you into helping him?’
“Like no shit. That’s the part that pisses me off the most. I’m like a goddamn slave, being forced to work for free.”
“Never fear, young apprentice. I have just the thing in mind.” He reached into a drawer, and pulled out a form. “Fill in the blanks, and have him sign.”
I looked it over, and saw that the document was a retainer agreement. I whistled. “Holy shit. If he signs this, he’s almost my slave.”
“Close, but not quite” Cecil-Rowe said, “the Latin term for this is "contractus pro venditione animae"”. It’s the ultimate retainer agreement. Once Ray signs that, you own any cause of action he has against the person suing him. You can settle the case on any terms you like, and you get to keep whatever proceeds there are.” Cecil-Rowe placed the folder back in a drawer, and from his manner you could tell that the interview was over.
“Awesome, Mr. C. I’ll call you from Commercial Court when we’re done.”
“Commercial Court?” he said.
“Yeah, Commercial Court.”
“This just keeps getting worse. Take notes, Calledinthe90s, while I school you on Commercial Court. Commercial Court is a jungle, and without preparation, you’ll get savaged.”
“That’s what happened to Ray when--”
“Take notes, young apprentice,” he said, tossing me a pad and a pen. He started to lecture, and I took notes that I have with me to this day, in a safe deposit box downstairs in the vault at Mega Bank Main Branch.
* * *
By the time Cecil-Rowe finished schooling me, it was close to ten, and the case started at two. I didn’t have much time. I ran down the hall to my office, and called Ray’s restaurant. No answer. Then I called Ray’s house. I expected to get Ray’s wife, but the man himself answered.
“You’re not at work. Why aren’t you at work?”
“Sy-Co Corp served all my employees with a cease and desist letter. They all got scared and took off. The place is shut down.”
“You gotta fax machine at home?” He did, and asked why.
“I’m taking your case, but only if you sign the paper I’m about to send and fax it back.” I sent the fax, and five minutes later it came back signed, and it was official: Ray had sold me his legal soul.
I went out to the parking lot, got into my beater and drove fast. In less than thirty minutes I reached my destination. I knocked on the door, and when it opened, my diminutive mother-in-law poked out her head. “What a pleasant surprise,” she said.
“Sorry, Mrs. M, but I’m in a super hurry. I gotta rush to get to court to help Ray. But first, I gotta speak to Dr. M.”
“He’s not here,” she said.
“Not here?”
“He’s on his way to his bridge game. He left just a few minutes ago.”
“Where’s the club?”
“He’s walking there,” she said, and pointed down the street.
“Thanks.” I got into my car and headed where Mrs. M had pointed, passing big houses and new project with an “Opening Soon” sign. And walking past it was the figure of Dr. M.
“Hey, Dr. M,” I called out the window. He stopped and looked around, startled. But he didn’t see me, not at first.
“It’s me, Dr. M. Me, Calledin90s.” He leaned forward as if to see me better. I got out of the car.
“Is something wrong with Angela? Or the baby?”
“No, no not at all, sorry to scare you, it’s nothing like that. I need your help.”
“Oh.” He started walking again, and now it was my turn to be a bit stunned, watching my father-in-law walk away from me. I caught up with him in a few quick strides.
“Listen, I really need your help.”
“And I really need to get to a bridge game.”
“This isn’t about me. It’s about Ray.” That brought him to a halt. He turned to me, angrier even than he’d been the night before.
“Did you drive all the way out here just to make fun of me? To remind me of how you won, distracting me with nonsense about Ray’s case?”
“I mean it,” I said, “I can win Ray’s case. I can prove it in a few words.”
“Prove it, then.” So I did. I spoke words, only a few words, but they were the right words to speak to Dr. M, for the words I spoke were in his language, words that he understood perfectly.
“I understand,” he said, “you’ve come to boast some more, to prove that you were right after all.”
“I want to win Ray’s case, but I don’t have any proof of what I’m saying.”
“You don’t need to prove that two plus two is four.”
“This, I gotta prove, and I need you to help me prove it. I need you to come to court with me, as my witness.”
“I can’t do that. I didn’t witness anything.”
“As my witness. My expert witness.” Unlike a normal witness, an expert witness can give an opinion. An expert is there not to advocate, I explained to Dr. M but to instruct, to teach.
“My bridge partner won’t be very happy,” he said.
“But Ray will, and so will Mrs. M and Angela and--”
“Very well. Do you have a cell phone? We can call the bridge club from my car.”
* * *
We were on the highway getting close to the downtown exit, when my wife called my cell phone. Back then cell phone service was super expensive and my wife only used it for emergencies. Or when she was really angry. I picked up the phone, wondering which it would be.
“I’m so happy that you made things up with my father,” she said.
“How did you know?”
“My mother called. She says you took him with you, that you went out together.”
“He’s with me right now,” I said.
“Where are you going?”
“To court. Going to court to win Ray’s case for him.”
“And you brought my father with you to watch?” She was so happy, I could hear in her voice that she was smiling. “That’s a great way to bond with him, Calledinthe90s. Look, I’m sorry I got so mad at you earlier, I really am. My dad’s a bit too sensitive and--”
“Sorry, Angela, your dad’s not coming to watch me.”
“Why is he with you, then?”
“He’s my witness,” I said.
“What?”
“His expert witness,” Dr. M said, loudly enough for Angela to hear.
My wife’s anger exploded into the phone. She wanted to know how I could expose her elderly, vulnerable father to the stress of a court case. I tried to tell her how I needed him, how there was literally no one else I could turn to, that her father was an expert, a true expert, and the judge was legally bound to believe him, but Angela heard none of this.
“Look,’ I said, “I promise you that--” And then I lowered the phone and pushed the red button, terminating the call. I’d learned that the best way to hang up on someone, was to do it when I was doing the talking. That way it looked like the call had dropped.
“I’m going to steal that move,” Dr. M said.
We rolled into the parking lot. I grabbed the cloth bag out of the back of my car, the bag that held my law robes and shirt and tabs, plus the other stuff I needed for court. It was one-thirty, still thirty minutes to go, not a lot of time to get robed and ready for court. It was just past one-forty five when I, with Dr. M in tow, opened the door to a courtroom on the eighth floor of an old insurance building that had been converted into a courthouse, the home of Commercial Court.
“Commercial Court is an exclusive club,” Cecil-Rowe had explained to me earlier that day, “the legal playground of the rich and powerful. They’ll know instantly that you’re not one of them.” And he was right. It was clear from the moment I walked in that I did not belong, for I was the only lawyer in robes. Everyone else was wearing a suit, and not some cheap thing off the rack like I wore.
There were a half-dozen lawyers present, and after they saw me, they exchanged knowing looks about the stranger amongst them. I ignored them, and walked up to the Registrar. I told him the case I was on, and he signed me in.
“First time in Commercial Court?” he said, eyeing my robes. “You know you don’t have to be robed in Commercial Court.” In other Superior Courts, you always had to bring your robes and get all dressed up. But Commercial Court had its own set of rules, and in the court for rich people, their lawyers did not have to wear robes.
“You’re here on the Sy-Co case?” a young woman asked. She was a junior like me, give a year or two either way. She was dressed in the finest downtown counsel fashion, some designer thing that Angela would know if she saw it.
“Just got retained,” I said.
“You know there’s no adjournments, right? We don’t do adjournments in Commercial Court. I’m just trying to be helpful, because I don’t think you've been here before. You know you don’t have to be robed, right?
“So I heard.”
“So where’s your material? You haven’t served anything, so how do you plan to argue your case?”
“I gotta witness,” I said.
She smiled. “There’s no viva voce evidence, either. Affidavit only.”
“We’ll see what the judge says.” There was a knock from the other side of the door to the judge’s chambers, and then the man himself entered.
I was amazed to see that even the judge wasn’t wearing a robe; instead, he was wearing a light coloured suit and a bright blue bow tie. He was dressed as good as the lawyers, all part of the downtown Commercial Court club, the playground of the richest and most powerful corporations in the City.
“Commercial Court’s not like other courts,” Cecil-Rowe told me earlier that day, explaining that most cases were over in fifteen minutes or less. A plaintiff showed up with some papers, and had a short consultation with the judge. The judge signed an order granting an injunction, or taking away a man’s business, or freezing his money. Commercial Court is where you went to get quick and simple court orders that eviscerated your opponent before the case even got going.
Defendants would appear sometimes in Commercial Court, Cecil-Rowe explained, but it was usually their last time up. Defendants always died a quick death in Commercial Court.
The judge took his seat, and then looked over the lawyers before him. His eyes moved along, and then stopped when they reached me, the one lawyer who was not like the others.
“You don’t need robes in Commercial Court,” the judge said to me.
“I’ll remember that for next time,” I said.
“What case are you on?”
I told him.
“He’s filed no responding materials,” my opponent said, “nothing at all.”
“I’m just vetting the list,” the judge said, “I’ll circle back to you two in a few minutes.” I listend while the judge vetted the rest of the afternoon list: a Mareva, plus a Norwich order, with counsel on those cases sent away in a matter of minutes.
Now the courtroom was almost empty, just the judge, two lawyers, the registrar and my star witness and father-in-law, Dr. M, who sat in the back of the courtroom dressed in an old business suit, put on hastily at his place two hours earlier, when I urged him to hurry it up, to not waste so much time on picking a suit.
“Back to you,” the judge said, addressing my opponent, “I thought this was an uncontested matter. That’s what your confirmation sheet said.”
“I’m sorry, Your Honour, but I didn’t know until I got here that the case was defended.”
“I got retained at the last minute,” I said, “barely three hours ago, the day after I read the papers. But I’m ready to go, ready to argue the case on the merits, so long as you grant me an indulgence, and let me call my witness, to let him testify in person instead of by affidavit, there being no time for me to draft anything.”
Opposing counsel was on her feet. “That’s not how things are done in Commercial Court,” she said, “or any court that I know of, for that matter. My friend (that’s what they make lawyers call each other in court, ‘my friend,’ even though you might hate the other guy’s guts),” the lawyer said, “my friend should have served his responding materials and filed them with the court. Instead, he’s taken us totally by surprise.”
“I’m sorry my friend is surprised by opposition,” I said, “but then consider, it’s my client’s livelihood that’s at stake. If my friend gets her injunction, Ray Telewu’s business is dead, and he loses everything. So yes, my client opposes the injunction, and yes, I’d like to call evidence.”
The judge didn’t consult the papers before him nor the books, but instead, he looked up at the big white clock on the courtroom wall. Its hands said two-fifteen.
“How long will your witness take, counsel?”
“In chief, ten minutes.” I’d practiced with Dr. M on the way in, and I was pretty sure he could do it in five, but I gave him a bit of extra time, just in case.
“We’ve got about two hours,” the judge said, “but I want to be fair to you and your client. Let’s take a fifteen minute recess so you can get instructions. Either we go ahead today with viva voce evidence, or we adjourn, and that will give Calledinthe90s time to file responding materials.”
When everyone came back, the junior’s boss was there, Senior Counsel, a heavy weight, one of those big guys downtown. Plus they brought this guy from Sy-Co Corp, the head of some bullshit division, with some bullshit title, Head of whatever, so that’s the title I’ll give him here. He was The Head. He was the man, the big cheese, the signer of the affidavit on which Sy-Co relied that day.
“What’s he doing here?” I asked Senior Counsel.
He stared at me, all lean and steel grey, looking every inch the hard hitting lawyer that commanded the biggest fees. “If you’re calling a live witness, then so can we. The Head will give evidence today, in advance of your client, so that the judge hears it from him first.” His junior smirked at me, and the two of them sat down, delighted that they’d thought of a way to one up me.
Except that they’d done it by exposing their client to cross-examination. The judge came in, allowed the Head to testify, and when he was done, I stood up.
“Just a few questions,” I said. Senior Counsel was stunned for an instant, and then he stood.
“This serves no purpose, Your Honour. The witness has confirmed the simple facts of his affidavit, and there’s no disputing it. Ray Telewu opened a restaurant less than seventy-one kilometres from Bixity City Hall, and that’s in breach of the Minutes of Settlement he signed.”
I did not bother to respond. Instead, I just stood, and I started to ask questions.
“Have a look at that map in your affidavit,” I said, and he did. I picked up my copy, and tore the map out of it. I passed it up to him.
“What do you notice about this map?”
“That it’s accurate,” the Head said, repeating his evidence in chief, amplifying it, talking about how the map contained perfect measurement.
“You will notice that the map is flat,” I said, laying it on the witness box before him.
“Of course it’s flat. That’s what maps are. Maps are flat.”
“But the earth is round,” I said, “or more properly, a sphere.” Senior Counsel was on his feet in an instant.
“What difference does that make?” he said.
“What you’ll hear from my expert witness, is that a flat map cannot accurately show Earth’s curves. A flat map distorts distances, and in this case, reduces them.”
“But that can’t be by very much.”
“In this case, by just over twenty meters,” Dr. M said from the back of the court.
“That’s my expert witness, the esteemed Dr. M.” I didn’t actually say Dr. M. Instead, I said his real name. But I’m not going to use the real names of my family here, so I’ll just keep calling him Dr. M. “Dr. M was a professor of Physics at the University of Bixity for almost thirty years. He has published numerous papers on particle physics, and is the first Canadian winner of the Wolf Prize for physics.”
Senior Counsel tried to cross-examine Dr. M, but it did not go well, my father-in-law indulging him, gently chiding him, continuing his explanations until the lawyer sat down, defeated by Dr. M’s mastery of the subject,his own lack of preparation and his inability to improvise. When counsel said that he had no further questions, the judge addressed us all.
“I’m not going to reserve, and I don’t think I need to tell everyone why. I think it will take about a minute for me to write a decision saying that the Earth is not flat. I’ll give you some more time after that, but after fifteen minutes, I”ll be back to render my decision.” He rose, everyone bowed, and he disappeared behind the door to judge’s chambers.
I pulled a piece of paper out of my file, and slammed it on the desk before Senior Counsel and his junior. “Fill in the blanks, and sign,” I said.
Dr. M’s head shot up at the commotion, and he shuffled over to see what was going on.
“What’s this?” Senior Counsel said, picking up the paper I gave him..
“Minutes of Settlement. You fill in a number, a big number, for the costs you gotta pay me. Your client signs, and then we’re done.” Senior Counsel opened his mouth to bargain, but I overrode him.
“You know your client’s going to lose; the judge made that obvious. Hurry up if you want to settle; we don’t have much time.”
At the end of most Canadian court cases, the loser has to pay at least part of the winner’s legal fees. That’s the way it’s been since forever, and I think it’s a good rule. Sy-Co Corp had lost, so it had to pay a good chunk of Ray’s costs, and Ray’s costs were somewhere between whatever bullshit figure I claimed they were, and where they actually ought to be. Senior Counsel took the paper over to his client. There was a brief discussion, and then they came back, with the form signed, and a number written in the blank space.
I’ll give it to Sy-Co Corp and their lawyer. It wasn’t a bullshit number, a low ball number. They gave me a real number, a number more like something I’d actually accept, a number that made sense to pay me in costs, in light of the success I’d had, and how I got it. It was a respectful number, a common sense number, and I appreciated it an awful lot.
I tossed the paper back at them.
“Add a zero,” I said, continuing on when Senior Counsel blanched, and his junior retreated a step. “I know what’s going on here. Your client sold mine a bullshit franchise, one with a history of failing.” The franchise had opened up again under a new owner not long after Ray had lost it and then it promptly failed again. Like I said at the start of this story, it’s an old story. It’s how some franchise companies make money. “Your client makes more money selling bullshit franchises doomed to fail, then it does from the honest ones that make money. So add a zero to that number, or Ray’s gonna sue you, class action and all that, for all the people you’ve fucked.”
The Head stepped forward from the benches and spoke to me.
“We get threats like that all the time, but no one follows through. They don’t have the money to fight us, and neither does your client. So go ahead and sue.”
“It’s true that Ray doesn’t have jack shit,” I said, “not a pot to piss in, but he’s my cousin, Ray is, and even if he doesn’t have money, he’s got me. Ray’s family, and for Ray, I’ll sue you guys for free. Hell, I’ll even pay the expenses. Plus I’m gonna put a jury notice in, too, come to think of it, ‘cause juries--”
Senior Counsel cut me off, and moved his client to the back of the courtroom. There was a brief discussion, and then they came back. I watched as Senior Counsel wrote a single digit on the Minutes, a zero, written right where I wanted it.
“You’ll have to initial the change,” I said to the Head of Sy-C0, and it gave me great satisfaction to watch him sign.
“Don’t forget,” I said the moment his pen stopped moving, “for the settlement to be valid, I need to get the money today. Right now.”
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” the Head said.
“Not if you want the settlement to stay in place. I’ll follow you back to your office, and you can put a cheque in my hands.”
“It’s an absurdly expensive bunch of flowers,” I said, “although no flowers, however beautiful, however expensive, could expiate my--”
She took the flowers, and gave a kiss.
“My mom called. She told me what happened. You fixed things with my dad.”
“Yup,” I said. I had certainly done that. I’d made Dr. M a professor again, if only for a few minutes. Not only a professor, but an expert witness. The judge had declared him an expert in plain terms and Dr.M had beamed when he’d heard those words.
“And you won Ray’s case, too. But my mom didn’t know how, and I don’t know how you did it either.”
“I’ll tell you over dinner tonight,” I said.
“But we agreed no more dinners out; we have to save money, now that a baby’s coming.”
I passed her the envelope that I’d received a few hours before. She opened it, and took out a cheque, a cheque drawn up for an amount I specified, made payable to Mr. and Mrs. Calledinthe90s.
The moment I got that cheque, all I could think about was how my wife would react when I put it into her hands. I could not wait to see her eyes bulge, to hear her voice say “oh my god,” to hear her laugh.
She did none of these things. Instead, she cried.
“Does this mean we can buy a house?” The money wouldn’t be enough to buy a house, not nowadays, with prices being so crazy. But things were different back then in the 90s. Sure, the internet was barely a thing and cell phones were super expensive and a lot of things sucked, but I’ll give the nineties one thing: houses were cheap.
“I think so,” I said.
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The Mortgage, Part 3
“Fuck,” I said as I drove to work in the old beater that only started on the fourth try because it could tell that I was pissed off. Ray’s case started at two o’clock, and I was heading to the office to get ready. “Fuck fuck fuckity fucking fuck. Fuck.” I’d wanted to tell Angela about Ray’s case, and how I was sorry that I hadn’t wanted to help him, but now I would, I would help him, and I would win, but then I’d gotten her all riled up on something else, something totally different, something way more serious.
My wife had given me a triple ultimatum: fix things up with her father, save idiot Ray from Sy-Co Corp., and somehow find a downpayment for the place she wanted to buy, in the little townhouse infill project in Bixity. It was like demanding I do a double bank shot, and then run over to the baseball diamond and hit a home run after first pointing to where it would land, Babe Ruth style.
Angela was mad at me, seriously mad. She’d slipped out that morning before I was even awake, sliding quietly past me on the couch. I didn’t realize she was gone until I heard the faint click of the front door closing. I jumped up, tripped over a blanket, and by the time I got up and my robe on, the elevator down the hall dinged, and Angela was gone before I opened the apartment door.
I swore at myself some more and pounded the steering wheel, “I fucked up,” I said, several times as I hit the wheel over and over again, until I accidentally honked it, and then looked all sheepish when the guy in front of me gave me the finger. I reached my office without further incident, but instead of walking in the front door, I went further down the hall, and into the office of Mark Cecil-Rowe, Barrister, LL.D, the man with the finest speaking voice I ever heard. When I entered his office I forgot for a minute about Angela and her father and sleeping on the couch the night before. I forget about everything, except the reason that I had come to Cecil-Rowe’s office: to stump him with a legal problem that I had solved, but which I was pretty sure he could not. In other words, I had come to preen and to brag and to boast. No one likes a showoff, and I had come to show off. I put my hand on the door and turned the knob. After a brief pause, I flung open the door.
“I’m a goddamn genius,” I said as I strolled into the older man’s office.
I noticed the echo of a hastily closed desk drawer hanging in the air. In Aaron’s office, where I rented space, a sudden act of concealment implied cocaine, but with Cecil-Rowe, the item in question was probably a mickey of vodka. I had the sense that he’d been drinking a bit before I arrived, but his powers of observation were unimpaired, and when he looked into my face, his expression showed sympathy, and actual pain.
“What have you done now?” he said, as set the papers before him to one side, and readied himself to hear my latest tale of legal brilliance.
“I’m a genius,” I said.
“Oh dear. Have a seat.”
“No really, I am. I’m a genius. I got this case that everyone says you can’t win, but I’m gonna win it, and when I do, I’m gonna look like a genius.” Cecil-Rowe gave me a sad indulgent smile.
“Whenever you tell me you’re a genius, I am always concerned about what is to follow. When you get wrapped up in what you call your genius, you tend to ignore the more mundane things we lawyers have to do to win a case. You think you’re going to win by genius alone.”
“Let me tell you why I’m a goddamn genius.” With effort I wiped the smug, self-satisfied expression that was on my face.
“Tell me why you’re a genius,” Cecil-Rowe said, “while I pour us a coffee.” He heaved his bulky body up from his chair and shuffled over to a counter. He picked up a carafe of hot coffee sitting on a hot plate, and poured two cups. “Speak,” he said, handing me one. I took a sip of the coffee, and told Cecil-Rowe the tale of Cousin Ray: his purchase of a franchise from Sy-Co Corp, its swift demise, the crash and burn in Commercial Court, the Minutes of Settlement, the seventy-one kilometer limit, and lastly, Sy-Co’s motion scheduled for two p.m. that very day, seeking an interim injunction shutting down Ray’s place.
Cecil-Rowe absorbed all this without the need to take notes. Instead, he sat back while he eyed me, taking the occasional sip of coffee, and smiling at the extravagant flourishes and details that brought out Ray’s story to full effect.
“Obviously Ray is dead on arrival,” he said, “but I guess this is the part where you tell me how you’re going to win.”
So I told him how I was going to win, but it didn’t have the desired effect. “I told ya I’m a genius, Mr. C,” cueing him to applaud, to admit what a brilliant lawyer I was. But there was no applause from Mark Cecil-Rowe. He looked at me without so much as a smile.
“You can cling to that genius notion as a consolation prize, after you get whipped this afternoon in court.”
“No way,” I said, “not a chance. I got this thing won hands down. I’m gonna kick ass in court today and--”
“And how exactly do you plan to do that, if you don’t have evidence?”
“What?”
“Evidence, Calledinthe9os. It’s what lawyers like me use to beat geniuses like you.”
“But I’m gonna win without proof. I don’t need proof. The argument I’m gonna make, relies on simple facts that are totally obvious, so the judge is gonna--” Cecil-Rowe stuck up his hand.
“Stop right there. I know what’s coming. You’re going to ask the judge to take *judicial notice.”
And he was right. That was exactly what I was going to do.
There are some things so obvious that you didn’t have to prove them, things that everyone knew. You didn’t have to prove that water froze at zero degrees and boiled at a hundred, or that Bixity was between West Bay and East Bay.
“You got it,” I said, “judicial notice all the way.”
“You’re going to tell the judge that the centerpiece of your argument, the lynchpin of your case is a fact known to pretty well everyone, and so you don’t need proof.”
“Exactly,” I said. Cecil-Rowe took another sip of his coffee, and left me hanging in the silence for a while before he spoke.
“If that’s true, then why does coming up with that argument make you a genius?”
“Oh, I said,”I didn’t think of that.”
“It is acceptable to rely on judicial notice for minor, ancillary points. But you never should walk into court thinking that the court will take judicial notice of your entire defence. It’s just too risky.”
“But how am I going to rustle up a witness in time for this afternoon?”
“Worry about that after you leave my office. I can’t help you with that. What I want to know, is why you’re doing this at the last minute.”
“What makes you think I’m doing this at the last minute?”
“Because you never would have resorted to judicial notice if you were properly prepared. If you’d opened this case a bit earlier, you’ve have everything lined up. But you got to work on it late, and so you want to rely on judicial notice. You’ve messed up, Calledinthe90s, and you know what my rule is when you mess up.” Cecil-Rowe didn’t extend aid to me, until I admitted the error of my ways. It was infuriating, but he was inflexible. So I fessed up.
“My idiot cousin Ray’s been trying to retain me for almost two weeks, but I was putting him off because I was mad at him. So now my wife’s mad at me, and if I don’t win this case, I’m dead. Plus her dad’s mad at me too and --” My brain roared into overdrive, a mess of family and law and fear, and at the centre of it, thoughts of Angela’s anger and her father. My mind took off, and then came to an instant halt at a helpful destination.
“Yes?” Cecil-Rowe said.
“Sorry. I just realized how to solve the evidence problem. Look, can I ask you about the thing I actually came here to ask you about?”
“You have a problem that’s worse than having no evidence? What could be worse than -- oh. You don’t have a retainer. Your client doesn't have any money.”
“Exactly. How do I get paid? That’s the problem.” I explained that Ray had no money, as in none, and that if he did have money, he wouldn’t spend it on me. Instead, he’d go back downtown and throw his cash at some big firm, who would take on his case, and proceed to lose it in a calm, careful, sober manner, ending in a reporting letter to Ray telling him that he’d lost.
“Now that’s a problem I can solve,” Cecil-Rowe said.
“Really? ‘Cause I can’t see a way around it. I think I’m gonna have to do this for free, and that really pisses me off.” Cecil-Rowe shook his head.
“You may or may not get paid, but you can set things up so that if you win, you’ll win pretty good.”
“How? Ray’s a deadbeat. Tapped out.”
“But is he desperate?”
“Totally. The first time he failed, he lost his own money, but if he goes under this time, he’s taking family money with him, and he’ll be the black sheep forever.”
“And he’s using family to emotionally blackmail you into helping him?’
“Like no shit. That’s the part that pisses me off the most. I’m like a goddamn slave, being forced to work for free.”
“Never fear, young apprentice. I have just the thing in mind.” He reached into a drawer, and pulled out a form. “Fill in the blanks, and have him sign.”
I looked it over, and saw that the document was a retainer agreement. I whistled. “Holy shit. If he signs this, he’s almost my slave.”
“Close, but not quite” Cecil-Rowe said, “the Latin term for this is "contractus pro venditione animae"”. It’s the ultimate retainer agreement. Once Ray signs that, you own any cause of action he has against the person suing him. You can settle the case on any terms you like, and you get to keep whatever proceeds there are.” Cecil-Rowe placed the folder back in a drawer, and from his manner you could tell that the interview was over.
“Awesome, Mr. C. I’ll call you from Commercial Court when we’re done.”
“Commercial Court?” he said.
“Yeah, Commercial Court.”
“This just keeps getting worse. Take notes, Calledinthe90s, while I school you on Commercial Court. Commercial Court is a jungle, and without preparation, you’ll get savaged.”
“That’s what happened to Ray when--”
“Take notes, young apprentice,” he said, tossing me a pad and a pen. He started to lecture, and I took notes that I have with me to this day, in a safe deposit box downstairs in the vault at Mega Bank Main Branch.
* * *
By the time Cecil-Rowe finished schooling me, it was close to ten, and the case started at two. I didn’t have much time. I ran down the hall to my office, and called Ray’s restaurant. No answer. Then I called Ray’s house. I expected to get Ray’s wife, but the man himself answered.
“You’re not at work. Why aren’t you at work?”
“Sy-Co Corp served all my employees with a cease and desist letter. They all got scared and took off. The place is shut down.”
“You gotta fax machine at home?” He did, and asked why.
“I’m taking your case, but only if you sign the paper I’m about to send and fax it back.” I sent the fax, and five minutes later it came back signed, and it was official: Ray had sold me his legal soul.
I went out to the parking lot, got into my beater and drove fast. In less than thirty minutes I reached my destination. I knocked on the door, and when it opened, my diminutive mother-in-law poked out her head. “What a pleasant surprise,” she said.
“Sorry, Mrs. M, but I’m in a super hurry. I gotta rush to get to court to help Ray. But first, I gotta speak to Dr. M.”
“He’s not here,” she said.
“Not here?”
“He’s on his way to his bridge game. He left just a few minutes ago.”
“Where’s the club?”
“He’s walking there,” she said, and pointed down the street.
“Thanks.” I got into my car and headed where Mrs. M had pointed, passing big houses and new project with an “Opening Soon” sign. And walking past it was the figure of Dr. M.
“Hey, Dr. M,” I called out the window. He stopped and looked around, startled. But he didn’t see me, not at first.
“It’s me, Dr. M. Me, Calledin90s.” He leaned forward as if to see me better. I got out of the car.
“Is something wrong with Angela? Or the baby?”
“No, no not at all, sorry to scare you, it’s nothing like that. I need your help.”
“Oh.” He started walking again, and now it was my turn to be a bit stunned, watching my father-in-law walk away from me. I caught up with him in a few quick strides.
“Listen, I really need your help.”
“And I really need to get to a bridge game.”
“This isn’t about me. It’s about Ray.” That brought him to a halt. He turned to me, angrier even than he’d been the night before.
“Did you drive all the way out here just to make fun of me? To remind me of how you won, distracting me with nonsense about Ray’s case?”
“I mean it,” I said, “I can win Ray’s case. I can prove it in a few words.”
“Prove it, then.” So I did. I spoke words, only a few words, but they were the right words to speak to Dr. M, for the words I spoke were in his language, words that he understood perfectly.
“I understand,” he said, “you’ve come to boast some more, to prove that you were right after all.”
“I want to win Ray’s case, but I don’t have any proof of what I’m saying.”
“You don’t need to prove that two plus two is four.”
“This, I gotta prove, and I need you to help me prove it. I need you to come to court with me, as my witness.”
“I can’t do that. I didn’t witness anything.”
“As my witness. My expert witness.” Unlike a normal witness, an expert witness can give an opinion. An expert is there not to advocate, I explained to Dr. M but to instruct, to teach.
“My bridge partner won’t be very happy,” he said.
“But Ray will, and so will Mrs. M and Angela and--”
“Very well. Do you have a cell phone? We can call the bridge club from my car.”
* * *
We were on the highway getting close to the downtown exit, when my wife called my cell phone. Back then cell phone service was super expensive and my wife only used it for emergencies. Or when she was really angry. I picked up the phone, wondering which it would be.
“I’m so happy that you made things up with my father,” she said.
“How did you know?”
“My mother called. She says you took him with you, that you went out together.”
“He’s with me right now,” I said.
“Where are you going?”
“To court. Going to court to win Ray’s case for him.”
“And you brought my father with you to watch?” She was so happy, I could hear in her voice that she was smiling. “That’s a great way to bond with him, Calledinthe90s. Look, I’m sorry I got so mad at you earlier, I really am. My dad’s a bit too sensitive and--”
“Sorry, Angela, your dad’s not coming to watch me.”
“Why is he with you, then?”
“He’s my witness,” I said.
“What?”
“His expert witness,” Dr. M said, loudly enough for Angela to hear.
My wife’s anger exploded into the phone. She wanted to know how I could expose her elderly, vulnerable father to the stress of a court case. I tried to tell her how I needed him, how there was literally no one else I could turn to, that her father was an expert, a true expert, and the judge was legally bound to believe him, but Angela heard none of this.
“Look,’ I said, “I promise you that--” And then I lowered the phone and pushed the red button, terminating the call. I’d learned that the best way to hang up on someone, was to do it when I was doing the talking. That way it looked like the call had dropped.
“I’m going to steal that move,” Dr. M said.
We rolled into the parking lot. I grabbed the cloth bag out of the back of my car, the bag that held my law robes and shirt and tabs, plus the other stuff I needed for court. It was one-thirty, still thirty minutes to go, not a lot of time to get robed and ready for court. It was just past one-forty five when I, with Dr. M in tow, opened the door to a courtroom on the eighth floor of an old insurance building that had been converted into a courthouse, the home of Commercial Court.
“Commercial Court is an exclusive club,” Cecil-Rowe had explained to me earlier that day, “the legal playground of the rich and powerful. They’ll know instantly that you’re not one of them.” And he was right. It was clear from the moment I walked in that I did not belong, for I was the only lawyer in robes. Everyone else was wearing a suit, and not some cheap thing off the rack like I wore.
There were a half-dozen lawyers present, and after they saw me, they exchanged knowing looks about the stranger amongst them. I ignored them, and walked up to the Registrar. I told him the case I was on, and he signed me in.
“First time in Commercial Court?” he said, eyeing my robes. “You know you don’t have to be robed in Commercial Court.” In other Superior Courts, you always had to bring your robes and get all dressed up. But Commercial Court had its own set of rules, and in the court for rich people, their lawyers did not have to wear robes.
“You’re here on the Sy-Co case?” a young woman asked. She was a junior like me, give a year or two either way. She was dressed in the finest downtown counsel fashion, some designer thing that Angela would know if she saw it.
“Just got retained,” I said.
“You know there’s no adjournments, right? We don’t do adjournments in Commercial Court. I’m just trying to be helpful, because I don’t think you've been here before. You know you don’t have to be robed, right?
“So I heard.”
“So where’s your material? You haven’t served anything, so how do you plan to argue your case?”
“I gotta witness,” I said.
She smiled. “There’s no viva voce evidence, either. Affidavit only.”
“We’ll see what the judge says.” There was a knock from the other side of the door to the judge’s chambers, and then the man himself entered.
I was amazed to see that even the judge wasn’t wearing a robe; instead, he was wearing a light coloured suit and a bright blue bow tie. He was dressed as good as the lawyers, all part of the downtown Commercial Court club, the playground of the richest and most powerful corporations in the City.
“Commercial Court’s not like other courts,” Cecil-Rowe told me earlier that day, explaining that most cases were over in fifteen minutes or less. A plaintiff showed up with some papers, and had a short consultation with the judge. The judge signed an order granting an injunction, or taking away a man’s business, or freezing his money. Commercial Court is where you went to get quick and simple court orders that eviscerated your opponent before the case even got going.
Defendants would appear sometimes in Commercial Court, Cecil-Rowe explained, but it was usually their last time up. Defendants always died a quick death in Commercial Court.
The judge took his seat, and then looked over the lawyers before him. His eyes moved along, and then stopped when they reached me, the one lawyer who was not like the others.
“You don’t need robes in Commercial Court,” the judge said to me.
“I’ll remember that for next time,” I said.
“What case are you on?”
I told him.
“He’s filed no responding materials,” my opponent said, “nothing at all.”
“I’m just vetting the list,” the judge said, “I’ll circle back to you two in a few minutes.” I listend while the judge vetted the rest of the afternoon list: a Mareva, plus a Norwich order, with counsel on those cases sent away in a matter of minutes.
Now the courtroom was almost empty, just the judge, two lawyers, the registrar and my star witness and father-in-law, Dr. M, who sat in the back of the courtroom dressed in an old business suit, put on hastily at his place two hours earlier, when I urged him to hurry it up, to not waste so much time on picking a suit.
“Back to you,” the judge said, addressing my opponent, “I thought this was an uncontested matter. That’s what your confirmation sheet said.”
“I’m sorry, Your Honour, but I didn’t know until I got here that the case was defended.”
“I got retained at the last minute,” I said, “barely three hours ago, the day after I read the papers. But I’m ready to go, ready to argue the case on the merits, so long as you grant me an indulgence, and let me call my witness, to let him testify in person instead of by affidavit, there being no time for me to draft anything.”
Opposing counsel was on her feet. “That’s not how things are done in Commercial Court,” she said, “or any court that I know of, for that matter. My friend (that’s what they make lawyers call each other in court, ‘my friend,’ even though you might hate the other guy’s guts),” the lawyer said, “my friend should have served his responding materials and filed them with the court. Instead, he’s taken us totally by surprise.”
“I’m sorry my friend is surprised by opposition,” I said, “but then consider, it’s my client’s livelihood that’s at stake. If my friend gets her injunction, Ray Telewu’s business is dead, and he loses everything. So yes, my client opposes the injunction, and yes, I’d like to call evidence.”
The judge didn’t consult the papers before him nor the books, but instead, he looked up at the big white clock on the courtroom wall. Its hands said two-fifteen.
“How long will your witness take, counsel?”
“In chief, ten minutes.” I’d practiced with Dr. M on the way in, and I was pretty sure he could do it in five, but I gave him a bit of extra time, just in case.
“We’ve got about two hours,” the judge said, “but I want to be fair to you and your client. Let’s take a fifteen minute recess so you can get instructions. Either we go ahead today with viva voce evidence, or we adjourn, and that will give Calledinthe90s time to file responding materials.”
When everyone came back, the junior’s boss was there, Senior Counsel, a heavy weight, one of those big guys downtown. Plus they brought this guy from Sy-Co Corp, the head of some bullshit division, with some bullshit title, Head of whatever, so that’s the title I’ll give him here. He was The Head. He was the man, the big cheese, the signer of the affidavit on which Sy-Co relied that day.
“What’s he doing here?” I asked Senior Counsel.
He stared at me, all lean and steel grey, looking every inch the hard hitting lawyer that commanded the biggest fees. “If you’re calling a live witness, then so can we. The Head will give evidence today, in advance of your client, so that the judge hears it from him first.” His junior smirked at me, and the two of them sat down, delighted that they’d thought of a way to one up me.
Except that they’d done it by exposing their client to cross-examination. The judge came in, allowed the Head to testify, and when he was done, I stood up.
“Just a few questions,” I said. Senior Counsel was stunned for an instant, and then he stood.
“This serves no purpose, Your Honour. The witness has confirmed the simple facts of his affidavit, and there’s no disputing it. Ray Telewu opened a restaurant less than seventy-one kilometres from Bixity City Hall, and that’s in breach of the Minutes of Settlement he signed.”
I did not bother to respond. Instead, I just stood, and I started to ask questions.
“Have a look at that map in your affidavit,” I said, and he did. I picked up my copy, and tore the map out of it. I passed it up to him.
“What do you notice about this map?”
“That it’s accurate,” the Head said, repeating his evidence in chief, amplifying it, talking about how the map contained perfect measurement.
“You will notice that the map is flat,” I said, laying it on the witness box before him.
“Of course it’s flat. That’s what maps are. Maps are flat.”
“But the earth is round,” I said, “or more properly, a sphere.” Senior Counsel was on his feet in an instant.
“What difference does that make?” he said.
“What you’ll hear from my expert witness, is that a flat map cannot accurately show Earth’s curves. A flat map distorts distances, and in this case, reduces them.”
“But that can’t be by very much.”
“In this case, by just over twenty meters,” Dr. M said from the back of the court.
“That’s my expert witness, the esteemed Dr. M.” I didn’t actually say Dr. M. Instead, I said his real name. But I’m not going to use the real names of my family here, so I’ll just keep calling him Dr. M. “Dr. M was a professor of Physics at the University of Bixity for almost thirty years. He has published numerous papers on particle physics, and is the first Canadian winner of the Wolf Prize for physics.”
- * * *
Senior Counsel tried to cross-examine Dr. M, but it did not go well, my father-in-law indulging him, gently chiding him, continuing his explanations until the lawyer sat down, defeated by Dr. M’s mastery of the subject,his own lack of preparation and his inability to improvise. When counsel said that he had no further questions, the judge addressed us all.
“I’m not going to reserve, and I don’t think I need to tell everyone why. I think it will take about a minute for me to write a decision saying that the Earth is not flat. I’ll give you some more time after that, but after fifteen minutes, I”ll be back to render my decision.” He rose, everyone bowed, and he disappeared behind the door to judge’s chambers.
I pulled a piece of paper out of my file, and slammed it on the desk before Senior Counsel and his junior. “Fill in the blanks, and sign,” I said.
Dr. M’s head shot up at the commotion, and he shuffled over to see what was going on.
“What’s this?” Senior Counsel said, picking up the paper I gave him..
“Minutes of Settlement. You fill in a number, a big number, for the costs you gotta pay me. Your client signs, and then we’re done.” Senior Counsel opened his mouth to bargain, but I overrode him.
“You know your client’s going to lose; the judge made that obvious. Hurry up if you want to settle; we don’t have much time.”
At the end of most Canadian court cases, the loser has to pay at least part of the winner’s legal fees. That’s the way it’s been since forever, and I think it’s a good rule. Sy-Co Corp had lost, so it had to pay a good chunk of Ray’s costs, and Ray’s costs were somewhere between whatever bullshit figure I claimed they were, and where they actually ought to be. Senior Counsel took the paper over to his client. There was a brief discussion, and then they came back, with the form signed, and a number written in the blank space.
I’ll give it to Sy-Co Corp and their lawyer. It wasn’t a bullshit number, a low ball number. They gave me a real number, a number more like something I’d actually accept, a number that made sense to pay me in costs, in light of the success I’d had, and how I got it. It was a respectful number, a common sense number, and I appreciated it an awful lot.
I tossed the paper back at them.
“Add a zero,” I said, continuing on when Senior Counsel blanched, and his junior retreated a step. “I know what’s going on here. Your client sold mine a bullshit franchise, one with a history of failing.” The franchise had opened up again under a new owner not long after Ray had lost it and then it promptly failed again. Like I said at the start of this story, it’s an old story. It’s how some franchise companies make money. “Your client makes more money selling bullshit franchises doomed to fail, then it does from the honest ones that make money. So add a zero to that number, or Ray’s gonna sue you, class action and all that, for all the people you’ve fucked.”
The Head stepped forward from the benches and spoke to me.
“We get threats like that all the time, but no one follows through. They don’t have the money to fight us, and neither does your client. So go ahead and sue.”
“It’s true that Ray doesn’t have jack shit,” I said, “not a pot to piss in, but he’s my cousin, Ray is, and even if he doesn’t have money, he’s got me. Ray’s family, and for Ray, I’ll sue you guys for free. Hell, I’ll even pay the expenses. Plus I’m gonna put a jury notice in, too, come to think of it, ‘cause juries--”
Senior Counsel cut me off, and moved his client to the back of the courtroom. There was a brief discussion, and then they came back. I watched as Senior Counsel wrote a single digit on the Minutes, a zero, written right where I wanted it.
“You’ll have to initial the change,” I said to the Head of Sy-C0, and it gave me great satisfaction to watch him sign.
“Don’t forget,” I said the moment his pen stopped moving, “for the settlement to be valid, I need to get the money today. Right now.”
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” the Head said.
“Not if you want the settlement to stay in place. I’ll follow you back to your office, and you can put a cheque in my hands.”
- * * *
“It’s an absurdly expensive bunch of flowers,” I said, “although no flowers, however beautiful, however expensive, could expiate my--”
She took the flowers, and gave a kiss.
“My mom called. She told me what happened. You fixed things with my dad.”
“Yup,” I said. I had certainly done that. I’d made Dr. M a professor again, if only for a few minutes. Not only a professor, but an expert witness. The judge had declared him an expert in plain terms and Dr.M had beamed when he’d heard those words.
“And you won Ray’s case, too. But my mom didn’t know how, and I don’t know how you did it either.”
“I’ll tell you over dinner tonight,” I said.
“But we agreed no more dinners out; we have to save money, now that a baby’s coming.”
I passed her the envelope that I’d received a few hours before. She opened it, and took out a cheque, a cheque drawn up for an amount I specified, made payable to Mr. and Mrs. Calledinthe90s.
The moment I got that cheque, all I could think about was how my wife would react when I put it into her hands. I could not wait to see her eyes bulge, to hear her voice say “oh my god,” to hear her laugh.
She did none of these things. Instead, she cried.
“Does this mean we can buy a house?” The money wouldn’t be enough to buy a house, not nowadays, with prices being so crazy. But things were different back then in the 90s. Sure, the internet was barely a thing and cell phones were super expensive and a lot of things sucked, but I’ll give the nineties one thing: houses were cheap.
“I think so,” I said.
2024.05.14 23:38 Mildyamusingjck First Post: My mecca to Raasay.
 | Hello All! This is my first foray into posting on here, my opening shots are from a once in a lifetime trip. submitted by Mildyamusingjck to whiskey [link] [comments] 2 weeks ago, I embarked on a mecca to the Isle of Raasay distillery. Why? I am new to the world of whisky and wanted to immerse myself for a week in, what is regarded by some, as a future star in the new-ish distillery game. I spent 3 nights in the distillery hotel itself and 2 nights wild camping on the island, with a twist! The island is a short ferry ride from the Isle of Skye, which is itself accessible by bridge from the mainland of Scotland. All told was a 5 hour drive from landing in Glasgow. The scenery is other worldly, straight out of a story book. The Hotel only has 6 rooms, with an accompanying bar and small restaurant, both attached to the actual still hall of the distillery! The bottling hall is a short 2 minute walk away, all with incredible views. But I am not here for the hotel details. So….the whisky! Now, I may sound like a bit of an alcoholic here, but they had SO much on offer at the distillery bar, and the staff are incredible! So much knowledge and so very friendly! Over the 5 days, I tried most of their offerings and some back catalogue! I even got chatting to 2 of the distillers at the bar after their shift and got some insider knowledge! I shall not go into too much details ob the tastings, but will rate them. You can DM me for more notes. My list of tasting highlights: Signature Whisky R02.2 - This is their bread and butter offering in the R0 range. Lightly peated and a wonderful dram 46.6% ABV and is a skill full mix of 6 casks all filled and matured on the Island. 7/10 Distillery of the year - Amontillado Sherry Cask - this was a limited offering in 2023 and a very drinkable dram. This is a Rya aged whisky finished in a Amontillado cask. 8/10 Dun Cana - This is the now annual flagship sherry release. matured in American rye casks with a second maturation in Pedro Ximénez and Oloroso sherry quarter casks, 52% ABV. 9.5/10 - understandibly an award winning whisky! Lassies release - this was a single cask picked out by the longest serving female distiller to celebrate international women’s day. Peated, Chinkapin Oak cask maturation with only 271 bottles! , 61.5% ABV, very punchy! 7/10 Vinsanto ultra rare - only 73 bottles! Only for sale in the distillery itself, I was gifted this dram by one of the distillers, at the time it was only available to staff. Its fully matured in vinsanto wine cask. This is honestly the nicest whisky o have ever had, it was 4 years old but could have been 18! The smooth taste and sweet palate left me wanting a bottle! 12/10 Caskstength signature - Vatted and bottled at cask strength. Lightly peat with rich dark fruit flavours. Honey gold in colour, hints of red wine hues, a perfect serving, if not a little harsh. 8/10 I tried a number of others, but these were the highlights! The gin is also very worth trying and the beers on tap at the bar are great. My insider knowledge is thar there is a humboltii cask being released soon as well as an age statement range of single casks. All in all a wonderful place! The bottling hall, which you can also visit is a delight. These guys do everything on site and the passion is visible. |
2024.05.14 23:31 surprisedkinder Childish Gambino's "This is America" is Actually a Drake, Jay Z and Diddy Diss
Before going into it, I want to mention how this post was inspired by three things. One was user u/HastyvonFuego2 and their post on going down the rabbit hole on the Kendrick sub last week. It was also inspired by Childish Gambino’s first album release in nearly 6 years where I have been sitting on this idea for a while but he inspired me to finally post this week like he did (never posted on Reddit at all before so be gentle if I am not doing it right)! I was also inspired by an interview Bino gave to GQ about breaking down his most iconic characters. In this interview he says how This is America started out as a Drake diss but then he realized the song was too hard for just Drake so he kept working on it. He also talks in this interview about how all culture is about compression. Which means that yes, This is America is about the gun violence and police issues in America, but compressed in this video is also more about where that culture comes from which he shows is from a small handful of rap moguls, namely Drake, Diddy and Jay-Z (bear with me on this long post, I think/hope it will be worth it). At the end I talk briefly about how Little Foot Big Foot might be in this same vein of cultural compression.
[Intro: Choir]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go away
The beginning of this song has no background music yet, which really gives it an ‘in the beginning’ feel. Then Gambino starts doing his dances with weird facial expressions. I will explain as we go through his video how those expressions and dance moves represent different famous rap moguls. One easy look to pick out right away is Jay-Z’s famous lip curl/growl look that Gambino gives with a head nod repeatedly. The colonial pants have been a hot topic, but since it’s only the pants that are colonial, Gambino is saying the bottom or basis for this violent culture in America is ultimately colonialism. The lyrics ‘Go Away’, are likely foreshadowing the rap moguls wanting other popular rap rivals to ‘go away’ or they will make them (aka murder them) for profit.
[Bridge: Childish Gambino & Young Thug]
We just wanna party
Party just for you
We just want the money
Money just for you (Yeah)
Usually you want money for yourself and to party for yourself, so this is a bit odd. But what Gambino is referring to is similar to these Diddy ‘freakoff parties’ we are hearing about where people who want to be famous are really partying for these rap moguls so they can get close to them. Where they suck up to them saying that they want to earn the mogul money from their songs.
I know you wanna party
Party just for free
Girl, you got me dancin' (Girl, you got me dancin')
Dance and shake the frame (Yeah)
Then this almost feels like the Diddy rebuttal where he’s like ya I know you want to party and you want to do it for free. Like Katt Williams says, “you gotta tell Diddy no”, it is never free to go to those parties. There are always consequences. When you are partying you are dancing, but shaking the frame could refer to how those boundaries/edges are being crossed, lines are blurred, etc.
Then in the video, the fellow who was playing the guitar gets shot and things turn dark from happy music. I believe that this guitar tune is meant to represent 2Pac and Nas’s song Thugz Mansion. It’s one of the original greats from ‘in the beginning’. Nas famously has always had major issues with Jay-Z too (More on why 2Pac and Nas later). It also represents how it was these moguls who murdered 2Pac like Jaguar Wright and Katt Williams keep saying. Where these murders only lead to more money and fame for the killers when the dead artists’ and their music are exploited more easily.
Also note that the gun gets taken away by a school kid after the shooting, more on this later as well.
[Verse 1: Childish Gambino, Young Thug, Blocboy JB & 21 Savage]
This is America (Skrrt, skrrt, woo)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Ayy)
Look how I'm livin' now
Police be trippin' now (Woo)
Yeah, this is America (Woo, ayy)
Guns in my area (Word, my area)
There is a song called Guns in My Area by Lil Weiner and Baby Chapox that paints a vivid picture of the everyday struggles and conflicts faced by those living in communities affected by gun violence. More compression of other songs and the American gun culture.
I got the strap (Ayy, ayy)
I gotta carry 'em
I am almost certain this line is referring to 2Pac’s song Changes. Throughout This is America, Gambino takes lines from Pac’s song: “They get jealous when they see you with your mobile phone” (referred to later in this a Celly, that’s tool) “That's the sound of my tool, you say it ain't cool, My mama didn't raise no fool”
“And as long as I stay black, I gotta stay strapped, And I never get to lay back” It seems like Gambino broke up these lyrics and scattered them throughout his song. This plays into the theme that everyone is using 2Pac and enriching themselves off of his image and music. I show below how this particular section of the video represents Diddy meaning that Diddy himself is exploiting his music (and alleging that Diddy killed Pac?). We could see this exploitation play out at length with how much Diddy milked the death of Biggie like in Every Breath You Take.
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go into this (Ugh)
Yeah, yeah, this is guerilla (Woo)
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go get the bag
The song Gorilla War by $uicideboy$ and Ramirez talks about getting a bag repeatedly in the course. Also in Otis with Kanye and Jay-Z their lyrics talk about going gorilla (I talk about this song more further down), so it could be referring to this as well. It seems like Gambino is trying to pull out lyrics from all across the rap culture and embed them in his song to highlight the ‘cultural compression’.
Yeah, yeah, I'm so cold like, yeah (Yeah)
I'm so dope like, yeah (Woo)
We gon' blow like, yeah (Straight up, uh)
I think that all of the school kids in the video represent all of the rappers that are signed with these big labels. Which is interesting because they are the ones facilitating the guns for the moguls in the video. You can see that the mogul is really focused on the kids and gets agitated and directs them to follow him whenever they stray off a bit like they are his pupils, or like he owns them. Then all of a sudden the camera comes into a scene where you can see more kids shooting a rap video and all shooting money from a Supreme gun. The camera zooms out almost to show you that this is the mogul’s whole rap empire they are looking over, all of their kids in one place (this empire already includes some chaos in the background). It’s subtle but hilarious, Gambino puts fricken chickens on the ground where the kids are filming the rap video. He is directly calling all of these rappers complete chickens for playing up this lifestyle and being the cause of so much chaos rather than coming out and telling somebody what’s really going on. Trying to get their money over everything else.
[Refrain: Choir & Childish Gambino]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
You go tell somebody
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (Get your— Black man)
This is where things start to get interesting. Gambino is literally saying, go tell somebody about this! We all know what’s happening, why don’t you go let people know how bad it is? But like Jaguar Wright said, who do you tell when these moguls have the cops and feds paid off? This video is literally Gambino putting it all out there in this extremely popular song for everyone to see but yet we still just see the dancing and the violent chaos of people and police in the streets and not the root cause that is hidden in plain sight.
The vast majority of those who reviewed this video until now think this scene represents the tragic church shooting in Charleston in 2015. I think it does, but we also have to look at this from an angle of compression.
The people in the choir are all of the people who are currently singing the rap mogul’s praises and who are focused on going and getting what’s owed to them, get their money (who are also profiting off of the dead fellows music since it goes back to the original tune). You can see that each choir member has a distinct look to them. Think about who you are hearing about now who is about to be implicated in these freak offs and evil deeds. Is that Will Smith in the back left corner!? The short bald fellow in the front left maybe Kevin Hart? Rick Ross or TD Jakes maybe the bigger guy towards the back right? When the camera zooms in on the choir right at first to show their faces, doesn’t the guy in the bottom middle look like an uncanny version of Jordan Peele? Or is that meant to be Cuba Gooding Jr? Then just like the guitar fellow at the beginning, bang. You may be singing Diddy’s praises now, but he will cut you down whenever he suddenly feels like it.
I think almost for sure this initial section of the music video is Gambino acting as Diddy, because right after he shoots the choir, he does the elbow pump/chicken dance. At 3:14 in Diddy’s video for P.E. 2000 he does the chicken dance (he is up first in the video and I think Gambino is trying to say here I first present to you the first public enemy of 3 in this song). That elbow dance signals that it was Diddy and this is the end of his section.
[Chorus: Childish Gambino, Young Thug, Slim Jxmmi & Quavo]
This is America (Woo, ayy)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Woo, woo, don't catch you slippin' now)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Ayy, woah)
Look what I'm whippin' now (Slime!)
There have been many accounts of celebrities being given fancy cars after suffering abuse at the hands of these moguls. So these lyrics are saying that you better not slip up and tell people what’s really going on. And if you don’t look at this sweet carecord deal/movie contract I am going to give you. Beiber told this story about Diddy wanting to give him a luxury car.
Now suddenly, the dance switches from the chicken dance to a sudden bicep flex to signal us that we have now moved on from Gambino representing Diddy to our next mogul.
[Verse 2: Childish Gambino, Quavo, Young Thug, 21 Savage & BlocBoy JB]
This next chunk of the video is all about Jay-Z. I think this is the case because he throws his arms up in a bicep flex just like Jay does in the Otis music video at 2:38. And it makes sense Gambino would pick a dance move from a video with a huge American flag in the background to fit the ‘This is America’ theme. Gambino is mocking him saying, who are you really, the pretty guy or this hard gangster like Gambino shows in his dancing. Also right before they pan to the kids on the balcony, Bino also does Jay-Z’s signature lip curl look a couple times so we know it’s him and to signal the end of his section.
Look how I'm geekin' out (Hey)
I'm so fitted (I'm so fitted, woo)
Jay-Z is famous for making the fitted Yankees cap famous, it’s his signature look. More signs this verse is about Jay.
I'm on Gucci (I'm on Gucci)
Jay-Z has been seen in full wallpaper Gucci sweat suits but could also be referring to Gucci Mane who he hung out with at Beyonce’s tour around the time this song was released.
I'm so pretty (Yeah, yeah, woo)
I'm gon' get it (Ayy, I'm gon' get it)
Watch me move (Blaow)
These lines are probably referring to Jay-Z having a hidden preference for men, especially with the way Gambino flicks his wrist in the video when he says I’m so pretty.
This a celly (Ha)
That's a tool (Yeah)
On my Kodak (Woo) Black
I think that “this a celly, that’s a tool” harkens back to 2Pac’s lyrics in Changes where he sings, “They get jealous when they see ya with your mobile phone” then shortly after that he sings about the sound of his tool, referring to shooting a gun. But Childish flips these lyrics on their head. He is saying that it’s really the phone that’s a tool to be using, not a gun. And pans up and shows (the school kids specifically) on the balcony filming everything going on below. He’s telling the kids/other rappers, use your phone as a tool, you can record these bad deeds when you get blackmailed into being at the freak off. That’s how you can kill them and their career, not with a gun. Go tell somebody! There is also the reference to Kodak which plays into the picture taking theme, but also because Kodak Black has been accused of assaulting a teenage girl in a hotel room. So we have a good idea of what Gambino suggests all the kids start filming and collecting evidence of.
Ooh, know that (Yeah, know that, hold on)
Get it (Woo, get it, get it)
Ooh, work it (21)
Now we are onto Drake’s part. In the video Gambino starts doing the BlocBoy JB dance called Shoot. Drake is known for doing these little viral dance moves like in Hotline Bling. But not only that, this dance is also used in the song that both BlocBoy JB and Drake collaborate on for their video Look Alive. It starts at 2:07 in the Look Alive video. So this is Drake’s dance to signal his part is now starting.
Note this is where the pale horse rides by also potentially saying that Drake is one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Interestingly, Drake’s collab with BlocBoy JB was pretty much the apocalypse for BlocBoy’s career, who hasn’t had a hit since.
Hunnid bands, hunnid bands, hunnid bands (Hunnid bands)
Contraband, contraband, contraband (Contraband)
I got the plug in Oaxaca (Woah)
They gonna find you like "blocka" (Blaow)
Again, we know this is Drake’s section because his song 10 bands starts out by saying “10 bands, 50 bands, 100 bands” almost identical to Bino’s lyrics here. Also Blocka was famously used by Biggie in his song Gimme the Loot which could be referring to Biggie's demise like Pac’s and making money from his death. Everything in this industry originates from pushing drugs, which has been alleged through the trafficking that Diddy, Jay-Z and Drake do through their private jets likely connected to their bosses, the Clive Davises and Lucian Grainges of the world. This escalates rap beefs and the whole culture to the next level where murder is often a consequence for young rappers in their prime when international drug lord money is involved.
An interesting point is this is the only time where Childish was about to shoot someone in the video, but where he didn’t have a school kid either handing him the gun or taking it away carefully from him. (Maybe also a diss at Drake that even though he acts hard he doesn’t shoot, he gets his horseman of the apocalypse to do his dirty deeds for him instead perhaps?). This is the beginning of the end for the rap mogul as he no longer has his kids doing his bidding for him. A simple message to show how the violence can be stopped, that these shootings can end when the kids stop enabling them. So then as soon as he can’t react in that moment and shoot someone his anger is forced to chill out, as shown by smoking a J, and to go back to exploiting the dead man’s music instead. If you don’t put a gun in someone’s hand when they are heated, those feelings too shall pass - kinda feel.
[Refrain: Choir, Childish Gambino, & Young Thug]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
America, I just checked my following list, and
You mothafuckas owe me
Whose voice does that sound like!? It sounds a lot like Diddy to me, public enemy #1. This is basically saying that the moguls are the ones who we all owe it to for all of this glorified gun violence in America. That we owe them way more follows and likes for what a massive influence they have had on the violence and chaos we see in America today.
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (Black man)
(1, 2, 3—get down)
In Moneybagg Yo’s song 1, 2, 3, he also has a line that says “1, 2, 3, let’s go!” in a similar vein.
But something interesting I came across was Nas’s song Get Down where they use a sample from James Brown's “The Boss” that sounds extremely similar to the way Gambino screams “Get Down!” Which would fit well if the guitar singer from the beginning is meant to be Nas and Pac doing Thugz Mansion.
Also make sure you check out Nas’s song Get Down so that you can hear how much Jay-Z outright copied this song for The Story of OJ. From the musical structure with the piano and interwoven samples right down to the theme reiterated by the sample at the end of Nas’s song: “If that’s how our people are gonna get down, how are we ever gonna get up?”
SZA
Finally to wrap up the video, I have been stumped for a long time as to why SZA is randomly at the end of this video sitting on one of the cars. But I think I finally know why and it reconfirms that this last scene is all about Drake. If you watch Drake’s music video for Worst Behavior (not very Canadian of him to spell behaviour that way I might add) you will see Drake rapping and dancing with a few cars surrounding him and one of those cars has other rappers making cameos in it. In Gambino’s video SZA represents that car with a famous cameo. I think this is further confirmed when the black edges of the video start closing inwards at the end of This is America, the exact same way that Worst Behavior ends. So why SZA as the cameo then? Cause it reminds people that Drake is a p*do.
This is from an article in the Rolling Stone: In 2020, Drake revealed publicly that he and SZA had dated over a decade ago, well before she was an established artist (her earliest music goes back to around 2012; her critical breakthrough, Ctrl, came in 2017). On 21 Savage’s “Mr. Right Now,” Drake rapped about a newer fling who was a fan of SZA’s: “Yeah, said she wanna fuck to some SZA, wait / ‘Cause I used to date SZA back in ’08 / If you cool with it, baby, she can still play.” A few days later, SZA responded, corroborating Drake’s claim with a slight correction: they dated in 2009, when both would have been over 18. Since SZA would not have turned 18 until late 2008, she wanted to set the record straight. “in this case a year of poetic rap license mattered 🥴lol I think he jus innocently rhymed 08 w wait [sic],” she tweeted. “I just didn’t want anybody thinking anything underage or creepy was happening . Completely innocent . Lifetimes ago . [sic]”
If you have to specifically say something isn’t creepy and distance yourself from it being lifetimes ago, it usually is creepy. Drake would’ve been 22 when she was 17. Metro Boomin also happens to be on the Mr. Right Now track. He is currently in trouble for resurfaced old tweets showing how Metro used to tweet disgusting things about what he wanted to do to underage girls. Interestingly, Metro Boomin is also now beefing with Drake.
Drake doing his dance on the car of the original musician’s music seems to be accusing Drake directly of stealing 2Pac’s music. Orlando Brown recently said the cryptic statement that “Drake is Pac” which likely means he stole 2Pac’s approach/style/audience after his death. Gambino did some good foreshadowing here too with the recent AI release Drake put out of 2Pac.
This dance scene also signals that the Drake section is now over.
[Outro: Young Thug]
You just a black man in this world
You just a barcode, ayy
You just a black man in this world
Drivin' expensive foreigns, ayy
You just a big dawg, yeah
I kenneled him in the backyard
No, probably ain't life to a dog
For a big dog
The outro lyrics speak to how these gatekeepers keep black men down and control them with things like being forced to wear a dress to become famous or to submit to homosexual/p*do acts.. In the video, as I mentioned above, the black edges close in on Drake’s dancing scene in This is America. But they don’t completely close and end things like they do in the Worst Behavior video. Instead, in Gambino’s video, the camera pans to show the mogul running for his life with Young Thug’s lyrics almost like a quiet echo in the background. He isn’t running from the cops though, he’s running from the kids and from the public. When I mentioned earlier that the kids not handing over the last gun before Drake’s scene signalled the beginning of the end for the moguls, this is that conclusion. Where it is showing that if all the kids come together to stop enabling and rather expose the moguls, people will be chasing these bastards down once we realize what has been going on behind the curtain. Then the song that Young Thug is singing can just be a quiet echo of the way things were in the past.
If you don’t think Gambino would be this deep and that I went too far down the rabbit hole, do a Google search on the calculations that he came up with for why he sings about loving until 3005 in his song. He seems to go real deep with his lyrics. So a big question this leaves us with is, what did Childish Gambino witness in the rap industry? His whole rap career plays out like he is trying to avoid industry norms.
Even in Sweatpants, he has lyrics like:
No hands like soccer teams and y'all fuck boys like Socrates
You niggas ain't coppin' these, niggas ain't lookin' like me (Nah)
Nah, I ain't checkin' I.D. (Nah), but I bounce 'em with no problem
Seems like he is trying to make it really clear across his catalogue of music that he isn’t a p*do but that other rappers are. Where he is saying that he doesn’t need to ID his potential partners because he can tell they are obviously too young and that’s not hard to do.
Tell 'em, Problem (Problem!)
I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (What?)...
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain
So who was trying to paint him as a villain, Drake? And that’s why the diss was originally meant for him?
Don't be mad 'cause I'm doing me better than you doing you…
Better than you doing you
Fuck it, what you gon' do? (What?!)
He’s taunting the other rappers cause he knows they can’t say shit if they are creeps. He has the same sentiment in Bonfire “It’s a bonfire, turn the lights out, I’m burning everything you mother fuckers talk about.”
Childish Gambino has always refrained from talking about the meaning of This is America whenever he is asked, and I can only assume that all of this is why.
Little Foot Big Foot
Now with his new release, Little Foot Big Foot and applying cultural compression to it, it has me wondering if he is referring to Megan Thee Stallion and the Nicki beef? People like Nicki (calling Megan Big Foot) have been claiming for some time she wasn’t even shot in the foot by Tory Lanez. There were many people laughing and making fun of Megan over getting shot. Which could be an interesting story for Childish to tell to represent how crazy this violent culture has gotten that people just laugh and blame the victim now when you get shot. Also a good metaphor for things like ‘shooting yourself in the foot’ for not having a lawyer look over potentially predatory industry contracts like in the beginning of his video. That you want to get in the cool kids club so bad you overlook it. Not as sure on this one though since the song just came out and I have only heard it a few times.
One last thing that is really interesting, there have been tons of artists on podcasts like Shay Shay talking about the strings these ultra rich moguls can pull. Like buying awards or gatekeeping people from being in the industry at all. There was even a story, I think maybe it was Gene Deal who told it, that when Killer Mike won at the grammys that Jay-Z was so angry he made sure to mess up his night by getting him locked up as soon as he left the awards stage. These moguls are extremely powerful and have an incredible amount of sway in the world/industry. If you check out Gambino’s profile on Youtube, his old music videos keep getting taken down, like Bonfire for example is just gone. Fans have been having to upload the videos themselves. There is a reply to a comment, on one of the fan uploaded vids, from Gambino’s account himself when someone asks why the videos are being taken down. His account just replies “Noone knows why :(“ Seems a bit odd all things considered and like maybe he has been at the mercy of these gatekeepers for going against the system.
I am so curious to know what the rest of you think about all of this!
submitted by surprisedkinder to donaldglover [link] [comments]
[Intro: Choir]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go away
The beginning of this song has no background music yet, which really gives it an ‘in the beginning’ feel. Then Gambino starts doing his dances with weird facial expressions. I will explain as we go through his video how those expressions and dance moves represent different famous rap moguls. One easy look to pick out right away is Jay-Z’s famous lip curl/growl look that Gambino gives with a head nod repeatedly. The colonial pants have been a hot topic, but since it’s only the pants that are colonial, Gambino is saying the bottom or basis for this violent culture in America is ultimately colonialism. The lyrics ‘Go Away’, are likely foreshadowing the rap moguls wanting other popular rap rivals to ‘go away’ or they will make them (aka murder them) for profit.
[Bridge: Childish Gambino & Young Thug]
We just wanna party
Party just for you
We just want the money
Money just for you (Yeah)
Usually you want money for yourself and to party for yourself, so this is a bit odd. But what Gambino is referring to is similar to these Diddy ‘freakoff parties’ we are hearing about where people who want to be famous are really partying for these rap moguls so they can get close to them. Where they suck up to them saying that they want to earn the mogul money from their songs.
I know you wanna party
Party just for free
Girl, you got me dancin' (Girl, you got me dancin')
Dance and shake the frame (Yeah)
Then this almost feels like the Diddy rebuttal where he’s like ya I know you want to party and you want to do it for free. Like Katt Williams says, “you gotta tell Diddy no”, it is never free to go to those parties. There are always consequences. When you are partying you are dancing, but shaking the frame could refer to how those boundaries/edges are being crossed, lines are blurred, etc.
Then in the video, the fellow who was playing the guitar gets shot and things turn dark from happy music. I believe that this guitar tune is meant to represent 2Pac and Nas’s song Thugz Mansion. It’s one of the original greats from ‘in the beginning’. Nas famously has always had major issues with Jay-Z too (More on why 2Pac and Nas later). It also represents how it was these moguls who murdered 2Pac like Jaguar Wright and Katt Williams keep saying. Where these murders only lead to more money and fame for the killers when the dead artists’ and their music are exploited more easily.
Also note that the gun gets taken away by a school kid after the shooting, more on this later as well.
[Verse 1: Childish Gambino, Young Thug, Blocboy JB & 21 Savage]
This is America (Skrrt, skrrt, woo)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Ayy)
Look how I'm livin' now
Police be trippin' now (Woo)
Yeah, this is America (Woo, ayy)
Guns in my area (Word, my area)
There is a song called Guns in My Area by Lil Weiner and Baby Chapox that paints a vivid picture of the everyday struggles and conflicts faced by those living in communities affected by gun violence. More compression of other songs and the American gun culture.
I got the strap (Ayy, ayy)
I gotta carry 'em
I am almost certain this line is referring to 2Pac’s song Changes. Throughout This is America, Gambino takes lines from Pac’s song: “They get jealous when they see you with your mobile phone” (referred to later in this a Celly, that’s tool) “That's the sound of my tool, you say it ain't cool, My mama didn't raise no fool”
“And as long as I stay black, I gotta stay strapped, And I never get to lay back” It seems like Gambino broke up these lyrics and scattered them throughout his song. This plays into the theme that everyone is using 2Pac and enriching themselves off of his image and music. I show below how this particular section of the video represents Diddy meaning that Diddy himself is exploiting his music (and alleging that Diddy killed Pac?). We could see this exploitation play out at length with how much Diddy milked the death of Biggie like in Every Breath You Take.
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go into this (Ugh)
Yeah, yeah, this is guerilla (Woo)
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go get the bag
The song Gorilla War by $uicideboy$ and Ramirez talks about getting a bag repeatedly in the course. Also in Otis with Kanye and Jay-Z their lyrics talk about going gorilla (I talk about this song more further down), so it could be referring to this as well. It seems like Gambino is trying to pull out lyrics from all across the rap culture and embed them in his song to highlight the ‘cultural compression’.
Yeah, yeah, I'm so cold like, yeah (Yeah)
I'm so dope like, yeah (Woo)
We gon' blow like, yeah (Straight up, uh)
I think that all of the school kids in the video represent all of the rappers that are signed with these big labels. Which is interesting because they are the ones facilitating the guns for the moguls in the video. You can see that the mogul is really focused on the kids and gets agitated and directs them to follow him whenever they stray off a bit like they are his pupils, or like he owns them. Then all of a sudden the camera comes into a scene where you can see more kids shooting a rap video and all shooting money from a Supreme gun. The camera zooms out almost to show you that this is the mogul’s whole rap empire they are looking over, all of their kids in one place (this empire already includes some chaos in the background). It’s subtle but hilarious, Gambino puts fricken chickens on the ground where the kids are filming the rap video. He is directly calling all of these rappers complete chickens for playing up this lifestyle and being the cause of so much chaos rather than coming out and telling somebody what’s really going on. Trying to get their money over everything else.
[Refrain: Choir & Childish Gambino]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
You go tell somebody
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (Get your— Black man)
This is where things start to get interesting. Gambino is literally saying, go tell somebody about this! We all know what’s happening, why don’t you go let people know how bad it is? But like Jaguar Wright said, who do you tell when these moguls have the cops and feds paid off? This video is literally Gambino putting it all out there in this extremely popular song for everyone to see but yet we still just see the dancing and the violent chaos of people and police in the streets and not the root cause that is hidden in plain sight.
The vast majority of those who reviewed this video until now think this scene represents the tragic church shooting in Charleston in 2015. I think it does, but we also have to look at this from an angle of compression.
The people in the choir are all of the people who are currently singing the rap mogul’s praises and who are focused on going and getting what’s owed to them, get their money (who are also profiting off of the dead fellows music since it goes back to the original tune). You can see that each choir member has a distinct look to them. Think about who you are hearing about now who is about to be implicated in these freak offs and evil deeds. Is that Will Smith in the back left corner!? The short bald fellow in the front left maybe Kevin Hart? Rick Ross or TD Jakes maybe the bigger guy towards the back right? When the camera zooms in on the choir right at first to show their faces, doesn’t the guy in the bottom middle look like an uncanny version of Jordan Peele? Or is that meant to be Cuba Gooding Jr? Then just like the guitar fellow at the beginning, bang. You may be singing Diddy’s praises now, but he will cut you down whenever he suddenly feels like it.
I think almost for sure this initial section of the music video is Gambino acting as Diddy, because right after he shoots the choir, he does the elbow pump/chicken dance. At 3:14 in Diddy’s video for P.E. 2000 he does the chicken dance (he is up first in the video and I think Gambino is trying to say here I first present to you the first public enemy of 3 in this song). That elbow dance signals that it was Diddy and this is the end of his section.
[Chorus: Childish Gambino, Young Thug, Slim Jxmmi & Quavo]
This is America (Woo, ayy)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Woo, woo, don't catch you slippin' now)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Ayy, woah)
Look what I'm whippin' now (Slime!)
There have been many accounts of celebrities being given fancy cars after suffering abuse at the hands of these moguls. So these lyrics are saying that you better not slip up and tell people what’s really going on. And if you don’t look at this sweet carecord deal/movie contract I am going to give you. Beiber told this story about Diddy wanting to give him a luxury car.
Now suddenly, the dance switches from the chicken dance to a sudden bicep flex to signal us that we have now moved on from Gambino representing Diddy to our next mogul.
[Verse 2: Childish Gambino, Quavo, Young Thug, 21 Savage & BlocBoy JB]
This next chunk of the video is all about Jay-Z. I think this is the case because he throws his arms up in a bicep flex just like Jay does in the Otis music video at 2:38. And it makes sense Gambino would pick a dance move from a video with a huge American flag in the background to fit the ‘This is America’ theme. Gambino is mocking him saying, who are you really, the pretty guy or this hard gangster like Gambino shows in his dancing. Also right before they pan to the kids on the balcony, Bino also does Jay-Z’s signature lip curl look a couple times so we know it’s him and to signal the end of his section.
Look how I'm geekin' out (Hey)
I'm so fitted (I'm so fitted, woo)
Jay-Z is famous for making the fitted Yankees cap famous, it’s his signature look. More signs this verse is about Jay.
I'm on Gucci (I'm on Gucci)
Jay-Z has been seen in full wallpaper Gucci sweat suits but could also be referring to Gucci Mane who he hung out with at Beyonce’s tour around the time this song was released.
I'm so pretty (Yeah, yeah, woo)
I'm gon' get it (Ayy, I'm gon' get it)
Watch me move (Blaow)
These lines are probably referring to Jay-Z having a hidden preference for men, especially with the way Gambino flicks his wrist in the video when he says I’m so pretty.
This a celly (Ha)
That's a tool (Yeah)
On my Kodak (Woo) Black
I think that “this a celly, that’s a tool” harkens back to 2Pac’s lyrics in Changes where he sings, “They get jealous when they see ya with your mobile phone” then shortly after that he sings about the sound of his tool, referring to shooting a gun. But Childish flips these lyrics on their head. He is saying that it’s really the phone that’s a tool to be using, not a gun. And pans up and shows (the school kids specifically) on the balcony filming everything going on below. He’s telling the kids/other rappers, use your phone as a tool, you can record these bad deeds when you get blackmailed into being at the freak off. That’s how you can kill them and their career, not with a gun. Go tell somebody! There is also the reference to Kodak which plays into the picture taking theme, but also because Kodak Black has been accused of assaulting a teenage girl in a hotel room. So we have a good idea of what Gambino suggests all the kids start filming and collecting evidence of.
Ooh, know that (Yeah, know that, hold on)
Get it (Woo, get it, get it)
Ooh, work it (21)
Now we are onto Drake’s part. In the video Gambino starts doing the BlocBoy JB dance called Shoot. Drake is known for doing these little viral dance moves like in Hotline Bling. But not only that, this dance is also used in the song that both BlocBoy JB and Drake collaborate on for their video Look Alive. It starts at 2:07 in the Look Alive video. So this is Drake’s dance to signal his part is now starting.
Note this is where the pale horse rides by also potentially saying that Drake is one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Interestingly, Drake’s collab with BlocBoy JB was pretty much the apocalypse for BlocBoy’s career, who hasn’t had a hit since.
Hunnid bands, hunnid bands, hunnid bands (Hunnid bands)
Contraband, contraband, contraband (Contraband)
I got the plug in Oaxaca (Woah)
They gonna find you like "blocka" (Blaow)
Again, we know this is Drake’s section because his song 10 bands starts out by saying “10 bands, 50 bands, 100 bands” almost identical to Bino’s lyrics here. Also Blocka was famously used by Biggie in his song Gimme the Loot which could be referring to Biggie's demise like Pac’s and making money from his death. Everything in this industry originates from pushing drugs, which has been alleged through the trafficking that Diddy, Jay-Z and Drake do through their private jets likely connected to their bosses, the Clive Davises and Lucian Grainges of the world. This escalates rap beefs and the whole culture to the next level where murder is often a consequence for young rappers in their prime when international drug lord money is involved.
An interesting point is this is the only time where Childish was about to shoot someone in the video, but where he didn’t have a school kid either handing him the gun or taking it away carefully from him. (Maybe also a diss at Drake that even though he acts hard he doesn’t shoot, he gets his horseman of the apocalypse to do his dirty deeds for him instead perhaps?). This is the beginning of the end for the rap mogul as he no longer has his kids doing his bidding for him. A simple message to show how the violence can be stopped, that these shootings can end when the kids stop enabling them. So then as soon as he can’t react in that moment and shoot someone his anger is forced to chill out, as shown by smoking a J, and to go back to exploiting the dead man’s music instead. If you don’t put a gun in someone’s hand when they are heated, those feelings too shall pass - kinda feel.
[Refrain: Choir, Childish Gambino, & Young Thug]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
America, I just checked my following list, and
You mothafuckas owe me
Whose voice does that sound like!? It sounds a lot like Diddy to me, public enemy #1. This is basically saying that the moguls are the ones who we all owe it to for all of this glorified gun violence in America. That we owe them way more follows and likes for what a massive influence they have had on the violence and chaos we see in America today.
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (Black man)
(1, 2, 3—get down)
In Moneybagg Yo’s song 1, 2, 3, he also has a line that says “1, 2, 3, let’s go!” in a similar vein.
But something interesting I came across was Nas’s song Get Down where they use a sample from James Brown's “The Boss” that sounds extremely similar to the way Gambino screams “Get Down!” Which would fit well if the guitar singer from the beginning is meant to be Nas and Pac doing Thugz Mansion.
Also make sure you check out Nas’s song Get Down so that you can hear how much Jay-Z outright copied this song for The Story of OJ. From the musical structure with the piano and interwoven samples right down to the theme reiterated by the sample at the end of Nas’s song: “If that’s how our people are gonna get down, how are we ever gonna get up?”
SZA
Finally to wrap up the video, I have been stumped for a long time as to why SZA is randomly at the end of this video sitting on one of the cars. But I think I finally know why and it reconfirms that this last scene is all about Drake. If you watch Drake’s music video for Worst Behavior (not very Canadian of him to spell behaviour that way I might add) you will see Drake rapping and dancing with a few cars surrounding him and one of those cars has other rappers making cameos in it. In Gambino’s video SZA represents that car with a famous cameo. I think this is further confirmed when the black edges of the video start closing inwards at the end of This is America, the exact same way that Worst Behavior ends. So why SZA as the cameo then? Cause it reminds people that Drake is a p*do.
This is from an article in the Rolling Stone: In 2020, Drake revealed publicly that he and SZA had dated over a decade ago, well before she was an established artist (her earliest music goes back to around 2012; her critical breakthrough, Ctrl, came in 2017). On 21 Savage’s “Mr. Right Now,” Drake rapped about a newer fling who was a fan of SZA’s: “Yeah, said she wanna fuck to some SZA, wait / ‘Cause I used to date SZA back in ’08 / If you cool with it, baby, she can still play.” A few days later, SZA responded, corroborating Drake’s claim with a slight correction: they dated in 2009, when both would have been over 18. Since SZA would not have turned 18 until late 2008, she wanted to set the record straight. “in this case a year of poetic rap license mattered 🥴lol I think he jus innocently rhymed 08 w wait [sic],” she tweeted. “I just didn’t want anybody thinking anything underage or creepy was happening . Completely innocent . Lifetimes ago . [sic]”
If you have to specifically say something isn’t creepy and distance yourself from it being lifetimes ago, it usually is creepy. Drake would’ve been 22 when she was 17. Metro Boomin also happens to be on the Mr. Right Now track. He is currently in trouble for resurfaced old tweets showing how Metro used to tweet disgusting things about what he wanted to do to underage girls. Interestingly, Metro Boomin is also now beefing with Drake.
Drake doing his dance on the car of the original musician’s music seems to be accusing Drake directly of stealing 2Pac’s music. Orlando Brown recently said the cryptic statement that “Drake is Pac” which likely means he stole 2Pac’s approach/style/audience after his death. Gambino did some good foreshadowing here too with the recent AI release Drake put out of 2Pac.
This dance scene also signals that the Drake section is now over.
[Outro: Young Thug]
You just a black man in this world
You just a barcode, ayy
You just a black man in this world
Drivin' expensive foreigns, ayy
You just a big dawg, yeah
I kenneled him in the backyard
No, probably ain't life to a dog
For a big dog
The outro lyrics speak to how these gatekeepers keep black men down and control them with things like being forced to wear a dress to become famous or to submit to homosexual/p*do acts.. In the video, as I mentioned above, the black edges close in on Drake’s dancing scene in This is America. But they don’t completely close and end things like they do in the Worst Behavior video. Instead, in Gambino’s video, the camera pans to show the mogul running for his life with Young Thug’s lyrics almost like a quiet echo in the background. He isn’t running from the cops though, he’s running from the kids and from the public. When I mentioned earlier that the kids not handing over the last gun before Drake’s scene signalled the beginning of the end for the moguls, this is that conclusion. Where it is showing that if all the kids come together to stop enabling and rather expose the moguls, people will be chasing these bastards down once we realize what has been going on behind the curtain. Then the song that Young Thug is singing can just be a quiet echo of the way things were in the past.
If you don’t think Gambino would be this deep and that I went too far down the rabbit hole, do a Google search on the calculations that he came up with for why he sings about loving until 3005 in his song. He seems to go real deep with his lyrics. So a big question this leaves us with is, what did Childish Gambino witness in the rap industry? His whole rap career plays out like he is trying to avoid industry norms.
Even in Sweatpants, he has lyrics like:
No hands like soccer teams and y'all fuck boys like Socrates
You niggas ain't coppin' these, niggas ain't lookin' like me (Nah)
Nah, I ain't checkin' I.D. (Nah), but I bounce 'em with no problem
Seems like he is trying to make it really clear across his catalogue of music that he isn’t a p*do but that other rappers are. Where he is saying that he doesn’t need to ID his potential partners because he can tell they are obviously too young and that’s not hard to do.
Tell 'em, Problem (Problem!)
I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (What?)...
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain
So who was trying to paint him as a villain, Drake? And that’s why the diss was originally meant for him?
Don't be mad 'cause I'm doing me better than you doing you…
Better than you doing you
Fuck it, what you gon' do? (What?!)
He’s taunting the other rappers cause he knows they can’t say shit if they are creeps. He has the same sentiment in Bonfire “It’s a bonfire, turn the lights out, I’m burning everything you mother fuckers talk about.”
Childish Gambino has always refrained from talking about the meaning of This is America whenever he is asked, and I can only assume that all of this is why.
Little Foot Big Foot
Now with his new release, Little Foot Big Foot and applying cultural compression to it, it has me wondering if he is referring to Megan Thee Stallion and the Nicki beef? People like Nicki (calling Megan Big Foot) have been claiming for some time she wasn’t even shot in the foot by Tory Lanez. There were many people laughing and making fun of Megan over getting shot. Which could be an interesting story for Childish to tell to represent how crazy this violent culture has gotten that people just laugh and blame the victim now when you get shot. Also a good metaphor for things like ‘shooting yourself in the foot’ for not having a lawyer look over potentially predatory industry contracts like in the beginning of his video. That you want to get in the cool kids club so bad you overlook it. Not as sure on this one though since the song just came out and I have only heard it a few times.
One last thing that is really interesting, there have been tons of artists on podcasts like Shay Shay talking about the strings these ultra rich moguls can pull. Like buying awards or gatekeeping people from being in the industry at all. There was even a story, I think maybe it was Gene Deal who told it, that when Killer Mike won at the grammys that Jay-Z was so angry he made sure to mess up his night by getting him locked up as soon as he left the awards stage. These moguls are extremely powerful and have an incredible amount of sway in the world/industry. If you check out Gambino’s profile on Youtube, his old music videos keep getting taken down, like Bonfire for example is just gone. Fans have been having to upload the videos themselves. There is a reply to a comment, on one of the fan uploaded vids, from Gambino’s account himself when someone asks why the videos are being taken down. His account just replies “Noone knows why :(“ Seems a bit odd all things considered and like maybe he has been at the mercy of these gatekeepers for going against the system.
I am so curious to know what the rest of you think about all of this!
2024.05.14 21:00 Sola_Sista_94 Cookies 'n' Dreams: Parts Seven and Eight (Fanfic)
"Himiko?" Kokichi knocked on the door to Himiko and Tenko's room later that night. Himiko had taken a long nap after such a disappointing day. But, before she fell asleep, she reflected deeply on what Kokichi had told her. She had to admit that he was right, that she needed to a better attitude about herself. But, how to do that, she didn't know. She suddenly remembered his words: You should be smart, confident, and capable of doing things your way. Her way? What was her way, exactly?
"Himiko?" Kokichi whispered a little louder. Himiko opened her eyes, hearing Kokichi calling out to her. She scrambled out of bed and went over to answer the door. Kokichi smiled at her with his usual cheeky grin. "Hey, sleepyhead! Are you still planning on selling cookies?" Himiko took a deep breath and nodded. Kokichi had given her some courage to actually try things and take chances, to try and overcome self-doubt.
"Yeah. I'm ready," she said. There was still a part of her that didn't want to, but she forced that part of her into silence. She lifted her chin and smiled at him. "I'm ready, Kokichi." Kokichi smiled back at her.
"Alright, Monkey Buns!" he cheered, giving her a high five and then a hug. "Same place?"
"Alright," Himiko nodded. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her. She remembered what Kokichi had told her earlier about being smart and confident her way. "But, on the way over there, can we stop by my, um..." She paused to whisper. "...secret lair? "
"Ooooh?" Kokichi murmured with a curious smile. "Yeah, we can stop by." Himiko nodded and retreated back into her room to grab the two tin bowls of cookies she had baked with Three and Ten.
"Nyeh...okay, I'm ready," Himiko said. Kokichi took her hand in his, and the two crept downstairs. Some of the others were still in the dining room eating dinner, so Kokichi and Himiko had to leave through the front door to get to Himiko's secret magic room under the gazebo. Kokichi stood outside to keep watch while Himiko went inside her magic room. Once inside, she went for her magical dream powder bottle and poured some of its purple, sparkly contents into a small vial, hiding it in one of her jacket's pockets. Then, she met back up with Kokichi.
"Now I'm ready," she said.
"Okie-dokie!" Kokichi replied, taking the tin bowls from Himiko to hold them for her. "Let's go, HimikoCocoa Bean!" They then hurried over to D.I.C.E. headquarters.
"Boss!" Four said, jumping up from the couch. "And Boss Lady!"
"Hey, Ichiro," Kokichi and Himiko replied.
"Wanna hear a song that I heard on the radio?" Four asked. He cleared his throat, and began singing without waiting for a response. "If you like piña coladaaaaas, and getting caught in the rai-"
"Okay, Ichiro, that's enough," Kokichi interrupted, wincing from Four's terrible voice.
"Urgh...thank you!" Five exclaimed as she wrapped Kokichi's cape around him. After Three placed Kokichi's hat on his head, she turned to Himiko.
"So, Himiko, did you sell a lot of cookies?" she asked eagerly. Himiko gave her an apologetic look and shook her head. Three's shoulders slumped.
"Oh..." she said softly.
"What? Why?" Ten asked. "Did they not like them? Because I put all my blood, sweat, and tears into those things! Er...well, not literally...duh."
"Yeah, I hope not!" Two exclaimed, sticking his tongue out in disgust. "I bet there are people in this world who actually do stuff like that!"
"Nee-heehee...I know a very horny someone who'd do something like that," Kokichi said.
"The tin bowls are still so full!" Three said, her voice dripping with disappointment.
"It's not really the cookies that people didn't like, Keiko," Himiko said. "It was because of me."
"What exactly do you mean by that?" Nine asked.
"Well, I'm not really popular at school to begin with," Himiko said. "But, I wasn't really trying my best to sell them because I didn't think I could."
"Ouch," Six muttered.
"Oh, well...still!" Three huffed. "They could have at least tried your cookies, anyways! Those...those...clowns! " Then she turned to nobody in particular. "No offense, me," she mumbled to herself before turning back to Himiko.
"Hey, no offense to the rest of us, either!" Four said.
"Should we take offense?" Nine asked. "It's not like we're actual professional clow-"
"We get it, Hideyo!" everyone but Himiko interrupted simultaneously.
"Nyeh, well...anyways, thanks to Kokichi, I've decided to try again," Himiko said, giving Kokichi a shy smile.
"Aww, HimiCocoa Bean, you're making me blush!" Kokichi teased, wrapping his arm around her waist. "But, I only get half the credit. You should give yourself credit, too!"
"And you should give us those cookies," Four said, pointing to the tin bowls in Kokichi's hand.
"Himiko, are you still going to sell these?" Kokichi asked. Himiko thought for a moment. She remembered what Tsumugi said about chocolate chip cookies being plain and boring.
"No," she finally answered. "Actually, I've decided to go with Ten's plan from earlier."
"Right! Um...wait, what plan was that again?" Ten asked.
"The plan to make the snickerdoodles," Himiko said.
"Oh, yeah!" Ten remembered, a grin crossing his face.
"But, I wanna add a secret ingredient of mine," Himiko said.
"I hope it's not blood, sweat, and tears," Two said, shuddering.
"Why not?" Seven asked with a creepy smile. "Don't you like that salty, metallic flavor in your cookies?"
"Ew! Yuck! Kokichi, make her stop!" Five said, covering her ears.
"Tsukiko, don't make me tell Emi to get Mr. Sparkles," Kokichi warned. Seven hid under a blanket.
"No, please. Anything but that accursed pink and plushy unicorn!" she hissed. Five grinned smugly at her.
"Can we help you bake again, Himiko?" Three asked hopefully.
"Nyeh...of course!" Himiko answered.
"Neat-o! Let's get started!" Ten said, rubbing his hands enthusiastically. Kokichi nodded to Himiko encouragingly, and she followed Three and Ten to the kitchen. They soon got started on the batter. Himiko removed the vial of dream powder from her pocket.
"Oooo! What is that stuff?" Three asked, entranced by the purple, glittery powder.
"Hopefully the thing that'll win over any potential customers," Himiko answered before pouring the powder into the mixture. She mixed the batter until it became a shiny, glittering harmony of many colors.
"Holy Constantinople-y!" Ten exclaimed. "What the heck kind of secret ingredient is that?!"
"The batter looks so...pretty!" Three breathed in awe. "It's so...shiny and sparkly!" Then, she lowered her voice. "Is this...some of your magic, Himiko?"
"Nyeh...that's right," Himiko nodded.
"I know this is might sound like a dumb question, but...are you allowed to do that?" Ten asked.
"Nobody at school knows about my magic except for Kokichi," Himiko said. "So, technically, it's not not allowed. And besides, Kokichi said that I need to be smart and confident my way. And magic is my way of doing just that."
Part Eight
Sunday afternoon. Himiko took a deep breath, deeply breathing in the warm air as a gentle breeze flowed around her. Today, she felt lucky. She stood behind her table at the front of the school. Above her was a more colorful, glittery sign she and Three had worked on with the word, "Snoozydoodles," written in swirly letters. Hopefully it would be enough to bring in some customers. Her snickerdoodles were laid out on three large trays in front of her so that the other students could see their colorful and sparkly design.
"Hiya, Himiko!" came a cheerful voice. Himiko looked up and was surprised to see Three.
"Keiko?" she whispered. "Nyeh...what are you doing here?"
"I decided to come and cheer you on...and to make sure the turd buckets here buy your cookies," Three replied. "I put some love and special care into those cookies, and I didn't bust my tail just to have nobody buy them!"
"Nyeh...but...Ten and I worked on them, too," Himiko pointed out. "And I put my 'special ingredient' in them."
"I know," Three said. "But, I feel like if I worked hard on something, either by myself or in a group, I'd like for the world to see it, that's all."
"I understand," Himiko said with a small smile. "Wait...this is supposed to be a competition between me and Kokichi! I don't think he'd appreciate you helping me out, especially since I should be doing this myself."
"Well, I'll just be here for emotional support, then!" Three said. Himiko smiled gratefully and nodded.
"I guess that's okay," she said. " Thanks, Keiko. I like your outfit, by the way." Three scanned her outfit proudly. Instead of her D.I.C.E. uniform, she wore an oversized, cream-colored fluffy sweater over a short, pink ruffled skirt. She wore a pair of white tights with some loose pink socks and a pair of black and white checkered lolita shoes with pink straps. In her hair were pink bows over each pigtail.
"Eeee! Thank you!" she squealed happily. "It's not very often I get to go out in cutesy clothes like this, unless I'm undercover! Well...I guess you might say I'm going undercover right now, but...eh, whatever."
"Speaking of which, why are your shoes checkered?" Himiko asked. "Won't that give you away? Part of the reason why people know your organization is because of the checker pattern scarves...which makes me wonder how people haven't suspected Kokichi being part of...you-know-what."
"Heehee...I call that the 'Sailor Moon Effect,'" Three giggled. "But, anyway, when members of the organization are wearing casual clothes, we have to wear some article of clothing with a black and white checkered pattern to let other members know our affiliation. The beauty of it is that there are people not affiliated with us who wear checker patterned clothing, so it gives us a chance to blend in as if we're just regular people. That's why we have a codeword to tell the difference between members and the 'reggies.'"
"What's the codeword?" Himiko asked. Three leaned in closer to Himiko.
"'Funny business,' " she whispered.
"Nyeh...that's actually really cool," Himiko admitted with a smile.
"Yeah! You should really join, Himiko!" Three said. "I think you'll have lots of fun!"
"Fun with what?" asked Tenko, suddenly appearing with Angie and Tsumugi behind her. She had a frown on her face and marched right up to Three. "Himiko, who's this girl, and what's she trying to get you to join? WAIT!! Is this girl the friend you were talking about?! The one who helped you bake cookies yesterday?!"
"Yeah," Himiko nodded.
"Hey! I recognize you!" Angie said. "You're one of the girls who rescued Himiko from that crazy girl many months ago!" Three brightened.
"Yeah! That's me!" she said.
"Tuh...I could have rescued Himiko, you know," Tenko huffed, crossing her arms and glaring at Three.
"Well...why didn't you?" Three asked.
"Urgh...!" Tenko scoffed. "Who do you think you are?!"
"I'm Michika!" Three lied, using one of her aliases. "I'm here to support Himiko with her cookie sale!"
"She doesn't need your support," Tenko said, stepping in between Three and Himiko. "Himiko already has me! Right, Himiko?"
"Umm..." Himiko mumbled.
"Of course you do!" Tenko interrupted.
"But...you didn't even let her finish," Three said.
"I didn't have to," Tenko said. "I already knew what she was thinking because we're best friends."
"Well...then...if you're her best friend, why dont'cha buy a cookie?" Three suggested craftily.
"Hmph! I will!" Tenko scoffed and turned to Himiko. "How much for a cookie, Himiko?"
"Nyeh...same as before," Himiko answered. Tenko paid ¥500 and grabbed a shimmery, glittering light green snickerdoodle from one of the trays. "Ooo, these are pretty, Himiko! Did you bake them all by yourself?"
"No, um...Michika helped me again," Himiko answered. Tenko glared at Three and flipped her hair at her.
"Well...they're okay, then," she said haughtily. "But, they're extra special because you helped, Himiko!"
"What are these cookies called, Himiko?" Tsumugi asked, scrutinizing a glittering blue cookie.
"Nyeh...they're called 'Snoozydoodles,'" Himiko answered. "They're snickerdoodles, but a special kind of snickerdoodles."
"Oooo! Why are they called 'Snoozydoodles?'" asked Angie.
"You have to eat them right before going to sleep to find out," Himiko answered mysteriously. Tenko hovered her cookie in front of her mouth.
"Oh! So, I have to eat this right before bed?" she asked.
"That's right," Himiko nodded.
"Aw, that's so creative, Himiko!" Tenko cried in adoration. "You're really clever, too! I bet you thought of the name!" Three rolled her eyes in annoyance. Himiko provided a little baggy for Tenko to put her cookie in, and provided some for Angie and Tsumugi, as well, after they had paid for their cookies.
"Thank you, Himiko," Tsumugi said.
"Yes! Yes! Thank you, Himiko!" Angie chirped.
"Well...I guess we'd better try out the other cookies," Tsumugi said. "Everyone else said they'd have different flavors of cookies, too. Although, I don't think I'll try Kokichi's after what happened yesterday. I can plainly still feel the burn on my tongue."
"Hmm...I thought his cookies were divine!" Angie exclaimed. "I have never felt such an intense rush of heat before! Especially in a cookie!"
"Leave it up to a degenerate male to bake something so...horrible! " Tenko spat. Three raised a brow at her.
"Degenerate male?" she repeated. She didn't like hearing her boss being referred to that way.
"Yeah! Males are all scum of the Earth!" Tenko said. "Kind of like...best friend stealers."
"I wasn't trying to steal your best friend," Three said, fed up with Tenko.
"Huh...why did you assume I was talking about you? " Tenko asked. "You know what happens to people who assume things, don't you?"
"They end up knocking all 32 teeth out of the person accusing them of assuming things?" Three replied, trying to keep her cool.
"And you're violent!" Tenko shouted. "You're clearly a bad influence on Himiko!" Three stared at her in disbelief, creating an awkward silence to linger in the air.
"Well, um...I guess we should be going then," Tsumugi said, hurriedly yanking Angie away. "C'mon, Angie. Tenko? Are you coming?"
"No. I think I'll stay right here and help Himiko, since she clearly needs my support," Tenko said, glowering at Three.
"Tenko..." Himiko sighed in exasperation, but Three merely smiled sweetly at Tenko.
"Oh, my gosh! Where'd you get your outfit?" she asked. Tenko looked down quizzically at her outfit.
"W-Why...do you want to know?" she replied with suspicion.
"It's just so pretty!" Three replied. "Are you, like, the Ultimate Princess, or the Ultimate Cheerleader, or something?"
"Um...n-no...I'm the Ultimate Aikido Master," Tenko stammered as a small blush appeared on her face.
"Oh, wow! That's even better!" Three exclaimed. "I bet you give those...degenerate males...what they deserve all the time!" The hardened look on Tenko's face from before disappeared.
"You bet I do!" she said proudly.
"Oh...I wish I could be like you!" Three breathed. "You're, like, my hero! I bet you're a hero to girls everywhere!" Tenko lowered her head bashfully, blushing like crazy.
"N-No...I'm not all that...great," she sputtered.
"I bet you'd do anything for girls, huh?" Three asked.
"Oh, yes!" Tenko answered. "So long as you aren't a degenerate male, you're a friend of mine!"
Says the girl who just accused me of stealing her best friend, Three thought to herself. "Hooray! I'm happy to hear that! But...to tell you the truth, I can't believe you just ditched your other friends. They were girls, after all, and you just let them walk right into the school where they could be potential prey for those boys-er...I mean, degenerate males." Tenko gasped with realization.
"Oh, my gosh! You're so right!" she cried. "But...what about Himiko?"
"I'll look after her," Three said. "You trust me, right? I am a girl after all."
"Ohhh...well, okay," Tenko said. Then, she smiled. "I'll trust you, Michika! Take care of Himiko!"
"Oh, I will!" Three said. "Bye! Goodbye!" Tenko waved goodbye, leaving Himiko and Three alone. Three exhaled. "Finally, she's gone!" Himiko stared at her in amazement.
"Nyeh...that was incredible!" she cried. Three shrugged modestly.
"Yeah, I guess I picked up a little bit of manipulation skills from the boss," she said. "He's way better at it than I am, though! That girl was so annoying, by the way! Is she seriously your best friend?!"
"Well, yeah, I guess," Himiko answered. "She wants to support and protect me all the time."
"Sounds more like she wants to breastfeed you, or wipe your butt after you poop," Three said in disgust. She and Himiko shuddered at the thought. "Well, anyways, now that 'Tin Cup' is gone, let's put you on the cookie map!"
"Right!" Himiko said, and gave Three a high five.
submitted by Sola_Sista_94 to danganronpa [link] [comments]
"Himiko?" Kokichi whispered a little louder. Himiko opened her eyes, hearing Kokichi calling out to her. She scrambled out of bed and went over to answer the door. Kokichi smiled at her with his usual cheeky grin. "Hey, sleepyhead! Are you still planning on selling cookies?" Himiko took a deep breath and nodded. Kokichi had given her some courage to actually try things and take chances, to try and overcome self-doubt.
"Yeah. I'm ready," she said. There was still a part of her that didn't want to, but she forced that part of her into silence. She lifted her chin and smiled at him. "I'm ready, Kokichi." Kokichi smiled back at her.
"Alright, Monkey Buns!" he cheered, giving her a high five and then a hug. "Same place?"
"Alright," Himiko nodded. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her. She remembered what Kokichi had told her earlier about being smart and confident her way. "But, on the way over there, can we stop by my, um..." She paused to whisper. "...secret lair? "
"Ooooh?" Kokichi murmured with a curious smile. "Yeah, we can stop by." Himiko nodded and retreated back into her room to grab the two tin bowls of cookies she had baked with Three and Ten.
"Nyeh...okay, I'm ready," Himiko said. Kokichi took her hand in his, and the two crept downstairs. Some of the others were still in the dining room eating dinner, so Kokichi and Himiko had to leave through the front door to get to Himiko's secret magic room under the gazebo. Kokichi stood outside to keep watch while Himiko went inside her magic room. Once inside, she went for her magical dream powder bottle and poured some of its purple, sparkly contents into a small vial, hiding it in one of her jacket's pockets. Then, she met back up with Kokichi.
"Now I'm ready," she said.
"Okie-dokie!" Kokichi replied, taking the tin bowls from Himiko to hold them for her. "Let's go, HimikoCocoa Bean!" They then hurried over to D.I.C.E. headquarters.
"Boss!" Four said, jumping up from the couch. "And Boss Lady!"
"Hey, Ichiro," Kokichi and Himiko replied.
"Wanna hear a song that I heard on the radio?" Four asked. He cleared his throat, and began singing without waiting for a response. "If you like piña coladaaaaas, and getting caught in the rai-"
"Okay, Ichiro, that's enough," Kokichi interrupted, wincing from Four's terrible voice.
"Urgh...thank you!" Five exclaimed as she wrapped Kokichi's cape around him. After Three placed Kokichi's hat on his head, she turned to Himiko.
"So, Himiko, did you sell a lot of cookies?" she asked eagerly. Himiko gave her an apologetic look and shook her head. Three's shoulders slumped.
"Oh..." she said softly.
"What? Why?" Ten asked. "Did they not like them? Because I put all my blood, sweat, and tears into those things! Er...well, not literally...duh."
"Yeah, I hope not!" Two exclaimed, sticking his tongue out in disgust. "I bet there are people in this world who actually do stuff like that!"
"Nee-heehee...I know a very horny someone who'd do something like that," Kokichi said.
"The tin bowls are still so full!" Three said, her voice dripping with disappointment.
"It's not really the cookies that people didn't like, Keiko," Himiko said. "It was because of me."
"What exactly do you mean by that?" Nine asked.
"Well, I'm not really popular at school to begin with," Himiko said. "But, I wasn't really trying my best to sell them because I didn't think I could."
"Ouch," Six muttered.
"Oh, well...still!" Three huffed. "They could have at least tried your cookies, anyways! Those...those...clowns! " Then she turned to nobody in particular. "No offense, me," she mumbled to herself before turning back to Himiko.
"Hey, no offense to the rest of us, either!" Four said.
"Should we take offense?" Nine asked. "It's not like we're actual professional clow-"
"We get it, Hideyo!" everyone but Himiko interrupted simultaneously.
"Nyeh, well...anyways, thanks to Kokichi, I've decided to try again," Himiko said, giving Kokichi a shy smile.
"Aww, HimiCocoa Bean, you're making me blush!" Kokichi teased, wrapping his arm around her waist. "But, I only get half the credit. You should give yourself credit, too!"
"And you should give us those cookies," Four said, pointing to the tin bowls in Kokichi's hand.
"Himiko, are you still going to sell these?" Kokichi asked. Himiko thought for a moment. She remembered what Tsumugi said about chocolate chip cookies being plain and boring.
"No," she finally answered. "Actually, I've decided to go with Ten's plan from earlier."
"Right! Um...wait, what plan was that again?" Ten asked.
"The plan to make the snickerdoodles," Himiko said.
"Oh, yeah!" Ten remembered, a grin crossing his face.
"But, I wanna add a secret ingredient of mine," Himiko said.
"I hope it's not blood, sweat, and tears," Two said, shuddering.
"Why not?" Seven asked with a creepy smile. "Don't you like that salty, metallic flavor in your cookies?"
"Ew! Yuck! Kokichi, make her stop!" Five said, covering her ears.
"Tsukiko, don't make me tell Emi to get Mr. Sparkles," Kokichi warned. Seven hid under a blanket.
"No, please. Anything but that accursed pink and plushy unicorn!" she hissed. Five grinned smugly at her.
"Can we help you bake again, Himiko?" Three asked hopefully.
"Nyeh...of course!" Himiko answered.
"Neat-o! Let's get started!" Ten said, rubbing his hands enthusiastically. Kokichi nodded to Himiko encouragingly, and she followed Three and Ten to the kitchen. They soon got started on the batter. Himiko removed the vial of dream powder from her pocket.
"Oooo! What is that stuff?" Three asked, entranced by the purple, glittery powder.
"Hopefully the thing that'll win over any potential customers," Himiko answered before pouring the powder into the mixture. She mixed the batter until it became a shiny, glittering harmony of many colors.
"Holy Constantinople-y!" Ten exclaimed. "What the heck kind of secret ingredient is that?!"
"The batter looks so...pretty!" Three breathed in awe. "It's so...shiny and sparkly!" Then, she lowered her voice. "Is this...some of your magic, Himiko?"
"Nyeh...that's right," Himiko nodded.
"I know this is might sound like a dumb question, but...are you allowed to do that?" Ten asked.
"Nobody at school knows about my magic except for Kokichi," Himiko said. "So, technically, it's not not allowed. And besides, Kokichi said that I need to be smart and confident my way. And magic is my way of doing just that."
Part Eight
Sunday afternoon. Himiko took a deep breath, deeply breathing in the warm air as a gentle breeze flowed around her. Today, she felt lucky. She stood behind her table at the front of the school. Above her was a more colorful, glittery sign she and Three had worked on with the word, "Snoozydoodles," written in swirly letters. Hopefully it would be enough to bring in some customers. Her snickerdoodles were laid out on three large trays in front of her so that the other students could see their colorful and sparkly design.
"Hiya, Himiko!" came a cheerful voice. Himiko looked up and was surprised to see Three.
"Keiko?" she whispered. "Nyeh...what are you doing here?"
"I decided to come and cheer you on...and to make sure the turd buckets here buy your cookies," Three replied. "I put some love and special care into those cookies, and I didn't bust my tail just to have nobody buy them!"
"Nyeh...but...Ten and I worked on them, too," Himiko pointed out. "And I put my 'special ingredient' in them."
"I know," Three said. "But, I feel like if I worked hard on something, either by myself or in a group, I'd like for the world to see it, that's all."
"I understand," Himiko said with a small smile. "Wait...this is supposed to be a competition between me and Kokichi! I don't think he'd appreciate you helping me out, especially since I should be doing this myself."
"Well, I'll just be here for emotional support, then!" Three said. Himiko smiled gratefully and nodded.
"I guess that's okay," she said. " Thanks, Keiko. I like your outfit, by the way." Three scanned her outfit proudly. Instead of her D.I.C.E. uniform, she wore an oversized, cream-colored fluffy sweater over a short, pink ruffled skirt. She wore a pair of white tights with some loose pink socks and a pair of black and white checkered lolita shoes with pink straps. In her hair were pink bows over each pigtail.
"Eeee! Thank you!" she squealed happily. "It's not very often I get to go out in cutesy clothes like this, unless I'm undercover! Well...I guess you might say I'm going undercover right now, but...eh, whatever."
"Speaking of which, why are your shoes checkered?" Himiko asked. "Won't that give you away? Part of the reason why people know your organization is because of the checker pattern scarves...which makes me wonder how people haven't suspected Kokichi being part of...you-know-what."
"Heehee...I call that the 'Sailor Moon Effect,'" Three giggled. "But, anyway, when members of the organization are wearing casual clothes, we have to wear some article of clothing with a black and white checkered pattern to let other members know our affiliation. The beauty of it is that there are people not affiliated with us who wear checker patterned clothing, so it gives us a chance to blend in as if we're just regular people. That's why we have a codeword to tell the difference between members and the 'reggies.'"
"What's the codeword?" Himiko asked. Three leaned in closer to Himiko.
"'Funny business,' " she whispered.
"Nyeh...that's actually really cool," Himiko admitted with a smile.
"Yeah! You should really join, Himiko!" Three said. "I think you'll have lots of fun!"
"Fun with what?" asked Tenko, suddenly appearing with Angie and Tsumugi behind her. She had a frown on her face and marched right up to Three. "Himiko, who's this girl, and what's she trying to get you to join? WAIT!! Is this girl the friend you were talking about?! The one who helped you bake cookies yesterday?!"
"Yeah," Himiko nodded.
"Hey! I recognize you!" Angie said. "You're one of the girls who rescued Himiko from that crazy girl many months ago!" Three brightened.
"Yeah! That's me!" she said.
"Tuh...I could have rescued Himiko, you know," Tenko huffed, crossing her arms and glaring at Three.
"Well...why didn't you?" Three asked.
"Urgh...!" Tenko scoffed. "Who do you think you are?!"
"I'm Michika!" Three lied, using one of her aliases. "I'm here to support Himiko with her cookie sale!"
"She doesn't need your support," Tenko said, stepping in between Three and Himiko. "Himiko already has me! Right, Himiko?"
"Umm..." Himiko mumbled.
"Of course you do!" Tenko interrupted.
"But...you didn't even let her finish," Three said.
"I didn't have to," Tenko said. "I already knew what she was thinking because we're best friends."
"Well...then...if you're her best friend, why dont'cha buy a cookie?" Three suggested craftily.
"Hmph! I will!" Tenko scoffed and turned to Himiko. "How much for a cookie, Himiko?"
"Nyeh...same as before," Himiko answered. Tenko paid ¥500 and grabbed a shimmery, glittering light green snickerdoodle from one of the trays. "Ooo, these are pretty, Himiko! Did you bake them all by yourself?"
"No, um...Michika helped me again," Himiko answered. Tenko glared at Three and flipped her hair at her.
"Well...they're okay, then," she said haughtily. "But, they're extra special because you helped, Himiko!"
"What are these cookies called, Himiko?" Tsumugi asked, scrutinizing a glittering blue cookie.
"Nyeh...they're called 'Snoozydoodles,'" Himiko answered. "They're snickerdoodles, but a special kind of snickerdoodles."
"Oooo! Why are they called 'Snoozydoodles?'" asked Angie.
"You have to eat them right before going to sleep to find out," Himiko answered mysteriously. Tenko hovered her cookie in front of her mouth.
"Oh! So, I have to eat this right before bed?" she asked.
"That's right," Himiko nodded.
"Aw, that's so creative, Himiko!" Tenko cried in adoration. "You're really clever, too! I bet you thought of the name!" Three rolled her eyes in annoyance. Himiko provided a little baggy for Tenko to put her cookie in, and provided some for Angie and Tsumugi, as well, after they had paid for their cookies.
"Thank you, Himiko," Tsumugi said.
"Yes! Yes! Thank you, Himiko!" Angie chirped.
"Well...I guess we'd better try out the other cookies," Tsumugi said. "Everyone else said they'd have different flavors of cookies, too. Although, I don't think I'll try Kokichi's after what happened yesterday. I can plainly still feel the burn on my tongue."
"Hmm...I thought his cookies were divine!" Angie exclaimed. "I have never felt such an intense rush of heat before! Especially in a cookie!"
"Leave it up to a degenerate male to bake something so...horrible! " Tenko spat. Three raised a brow at her.
"Degenerate male?" she repeated. She didn't like hearing her boss being referred to that way.
"Yeah! Males are all scum of the Earth!" Tenko said. "Kind of like...best friend stealers."
"I wasn't trying to steal your best friend," Three said, fed up with Tenko.
"Huh...why did you assume I was talking about you? " Tenko asked. "You know what happens to people who assume things, don't you?"
"They end up knocking all 32 teeth out of the person accusing them of assuming things?" Three replied, trying to keep her cool.
"And you're violent!" Tenko shouted. "You're clearly a bad influence on Himiko!" Three stared at her in disbelief, creating an awkward silence to linger in the air.
"Well, um...I guess we should be going then," Tsumugi said, hurriedly yanking Angie away. "C'mon, Angie. Tenko? Are you coming?"
"No. I think I'll stay right here and help Himiko, since she clearly needs my support," Tenko said, glowering at Three.
"Tenko..." Himiko sighed in exasperation, but Three merely smiled sweetly at Tenko.
"Oh, my gosh! Where'd you get your outfit?" she asked. Tenko looked down quizzically at her outfit.
"W-Why...do you want to know?" she replied with suspicion.
"It's just so pretty!" Three replied. "Are you, like, the Ultimate Princess, or the Ultimate Cheerleader, or something?"
"Um...n-no...I'm the Ultimate Aikido Master," Tenko stammered as a small blush appeared on her face.
"Oh, wow! That's even better!" Three exclaimed. "I bet you give those...degenerate males...what they deserve all the time!" The hardened look on Tenko's face from before disappeared.
"You bet I do!" she said proudly.
"Oh...I wish I could be like you!" Three breathed. "You're, like, my hero! I bet you're a hero to girls everywhere!" Tenko lowered her head bashfully, blushing like crazy.
"N-No...I'm not all that...great," she sputtered.
"I bet you'd do anything for girls, huh?" Three asked.
"Oh, yes!" Tenko answered. "So long as you aren't a degenerate male, you're a friend of mine!"
Says the girl who just accused me of stealing her best friend, Three thought to herself. "Hooray! I'm happy to hear that! But...to tell you the truth, I can't believe you just ditched your other friends. They were girls, after all, and you just let them walk right into the school where they could be potential prey for those boys-er...I mean, degenerate males." Tenko gasped with realization.
"Oh, my gosh! You're so right!" she cried. "But...what about Himiko?"
"I'll look after her," Three said. "You trust me, right? I am a girl after all."
"Ohhh...well, okay," Tenko said. Then, she smiled. "I'll trust you, Michika! Take care of Himiko!"
"Oh, I will!" Three said. "Bye! Goodbye!" Tenko waved goodbye, leaving Himiko and Three alone. Three exhaled. "Finally, she's gone!" Himiko stared at her in amazement.
"Nyeh...that was incredible!" she cried. Three shrugged modestly.
"Yeah, I guess I picked up a little bit of manipulation skills from the boss," she said. "He's way better at it than I am, though! That girl was so annoying, by the way! Is she seriously your best friend?!"
"Well, yeah, I guess," Himiko answered. "She wants to support and protect me all the time."
"Sounds more like she wants to breastfeed you, or wipe your butt after you poop," Three said in disgust. She and Himiko shuddered at the thought. "Well, anyways, now that 'Tin Cup' is gone, let's put you on the cookie map!"
"Right!" Himiko said, and gave Three a high five.
2024.05.14 19:23 Mathias_Greyjoy LF: Apricorn Balls & Aprimon w/ HAs (Friend Doduo, Friend G-Stunfisk, Heavy K/G-Slowpoke, Heavy Wiglett, Level, Ekans, Level Slakoth, Level Taillow, Level Tauros Blaze, Level Yellow Squawkabilly, Moon Blue Squawkabilly) FT: Hidden Ability Aprimon Breedjects.
Hello! This is my list of Aprimon I'm hunting. I am extra interested in the ones in bold though. Hidden Abilities are a plus.
*Note: I am wary of trading with users with no FlairHQ flair. If you haven't at least accessed Poké Ball Flair I'm going to be less inclined to trade with you.
I am also willing to take all Apricorn Balls in exchange for my breedjects. They are in order of preference.
submitted by Mathias_Greyjoy to pokemontrades [link] [comments]
*Note: I am wary of trading with users with no FlairHQ flair. If you haven't at least accessed Poké Ball Flair I'm going to be less inclined to trade with you.
- Moon Ball
- Friend Ball
- Dream Ball
- Heavy Ball
- Love Ball
- Level Ball
- Safari Ball
- Lure Ball
- Fast Ball
- Sport Ball
- Master Ball
- Beast Ball
I am searching for:
Friend Ball
- Burmy
- Chatot
- Doduo
- Spinda
- Tarountula
- Wurmple
Moon Ball
- Castform
- Chatot
- Frillish
- Klawf
- Spoink
- Squawkabilly Blue Plumage
Love Ball
- Glameow
- Spritzee
Dream Ball
- Burmy
- Gulpin
- Rellor
Heavy Ball
- Karrablast
- Scatterbug
- Wiglett
Level Ball
- Bidoof
- Burmy
- Castform
- Corphish
- Ekans
- Finneon
- Illumise
- Ledyba
- Luvdisc
- Patrat
- Pineco
- Slakoth
- Spinda
- Spoink
- Squawkabilly Yellow Plumage
- Taillow
- Tauros Blaze Breed
- Wurmple
Lure Ball
- Castform
Safari Ball
- Smeargle
Apricorn Ball breedjects for trade -
These are all 4/6 - 5/6 - 6/6 IV breeding leftovers. Everything has the Hidden Ability where available. I'm also willing to breed something for you that's not on this list, if it can breed with any of these 👇-
| Gen 1 Pokémon | Poké Ball | Ability |
|---|---|---|
| Bulbasaur | Friend | Chlorophyll (HA) |
| Charmander | Moon / Level / Dream / Luxury | Solar Power (HA) |
| Squirtle | Heavy / Moon / Beast | Rain Dish (HA) |
| Caterpie | Dream / Friend / Moon | Run Away (HA) |
| Weedle | Fast / Level | Run Away (HA) |
| Pidgey | Level | Big Pecks (HA) |
| Alolan Rattata | Moon / Dream | Thick Fat (HA) |
| Spearow | Level | Sniper (HA) |
| Kantonian Sandshrew | Level / Moon / Friend | Sand Rush (HA) |
| Alolan Sandshrew | Moon / Level | Slush Rush (HA) |
| Ekans | Dream | Unnerve (HA) |
| Nidoran♀ | Moon / Dream / Love | Sheer Force (HA) |
| Nidoran♂ | Moon / Dream / Love | Sheer Force (HA) |
| Clefairy | Dream / Love | Friend Guard (HA) |
| Oddish | Friend / Safari | Run Away (HA) |
| Paras | Friend | Damp (HA) |
| Venonat | Moon / Dream | Run Away (HA) |
| Kantonian Vulpix | Love / Dream / Moon | Drought (HA) |
| Alolan Vulpix | Moon / Love | Snow Warning (HA) |
| Zubat | Moon / Friend | Infiltrator (HA) |
| Kantonian Diglett | Heavy / Level | Sand Force (HA) |
| Alolan Diglett | Level / Heavy | Sand Force (HA) |
| Kantonian Meowth | Dream | Unnerve (HA) |
| Alolan Meowth | Moon / Dream | Rattled (HA) |
| Galarian Meowth | Heavy / Beast | Unnerve (HA) |
| Psyduck | Moon | Swift Swim (HA) |
| Kantonian Growlithe | Level / Fast | Justified (HA) |
| Hisuian Growlithe | Level / Fast | Rock Head (HA) |
| Mankey | Moon | Defiant (HA) |
| Poliwag | Beast / Friend / Lure | Swift Swim (HA) |
| Abra | Dream / Level | Magic Guard (HA) |
| Machop | Level / Friend | Steadfast (HA) |
| Bellsprout | Friend | Gluttony (HA) |
| Tentacool | Lure / Moon / Dream | Rain Dish (HA) |
| Kantonian Geodude | Heavy / Level | Sand Veil (HA) |
| Alolan Geodude | Heavy / Level | Galvanize (HA) |
| Kantonian Ponyta | Dream / Moon | Flame Body (HA) |
| Galarian Ponyta | Dream | Anticipation (HA) |
| Kantonian Slowpoke | Love / Dream | Regenerator (HA) |
| Galarian Slowpoke | Love / Dream / Level | Regenerator (HA) |
| Magnemite | Heavy | Magnet Pull/Sturdy |
| Galarian Farfetch'd | Friend | Scrappy (HA) |
| Doduo | Level / Dream | Tangled feet (HA) |
| Seel | Love / Moon | Ice Body (HA) |
| Kantonian Grimer | Dream | Poison Touch (HA) |
| Alolan Grimer | Dream / Friend | Power of Alchemy (HA) |
| Shellder | Moon / Beast | Overcoat (HA) |
| Gastly | Moon / Dream | Levitate (Only Ability) |
| Onix | Heavy | Weak Armor (HA) |
| Drowzee | Dream | Inner Focus (HA) |
| Krabby | Lure | Sheer Force (HA) |
| Kantonian Voltorb | Fast / Heavy / Premier | Aftermath (HA) |
| Hisuian Voltorb | Fast / Heavy / Premier | Aftermath (HA) |
| Exeggcute | Friend / Love | Harvest (HA) |
| Cubone | Moon / Friend | Battle Armor (HA) |
| Lickitung | Dream | Cloud Nine (HA) |
| Koffing | Moon / Friend / Dream | Stench (HA) |
| Rhyhorn | Moon / Heavy / Level | Reckless (HA) |
| Chansey | Dream / Love | Healer (HA) |
| Tangela | Friend | Regenerator (HA) |
| Kangaskhan | Heavy / Level | Inner Focus (HA) |
| Horsea | Dream | Damp (HA) |
| Goldeen | Lure | Lightning Rod (HA) |
| Staryu | Moon / Dream | Analytic (HA) |
| Kantonian Mr. Mime | Moon | Technician (HA) |
| Galarian Mr. Mime | Moon | Ice Body (HA) |
| Scyther | Sport / Level / Friend | Swarm/Technician |
| Pinsir | Level / Moon | Moxie (HA) |
| Kantonian Tauros | Level | Sheer Force (HA) |
| Paldean Tauros (Aqua Breed) | Lure / Moon | Cud Chew (HA) |
| Magikarp | Dream / Moon / Love / Level | Rattled (HA) |
| Lapras | Love / Dream / Beast | Hydration (HA) |
| Eevee | Lure / Fast / Level / Dream / Moon / Friend / Heavy / Love | Anticipation (HA) |
| Porygon | Beast | Download (No HA) |
| Omanyte | Dream | Weak Armor (HA) |
| Kabuto | Friend / Level | Weak Armor (HA) |
| Aerodactyl | Dream | Rock Head/Pressure |
| Snorlax | Heavy / Moon | Gluttony (HA) |
| Dratini | Moon / Love / Dream | Marvel Scale (HA) |
-
| Gen 2 Pokémon | Poké Ball | Ability |
|---|---|---|
| Chikorita | Friend | Leaf Guard (HA) |
| Cyndaquil | Moon / Level | Blaze/Flash Fire (HA) |
| Sentret | Level / Dream | Frisk (HA) |
| Hoothoot | Friend / Dream / Moon / Level | Tinted Lens (HA) |
| Spinarak | Dream / Moon | Sniper (HA) |
| Chinchou | Dream | Water Absorb (HA) |
| Pichu | Fast / Dream | Lightning Rod (HA) |
| Igglybuff | Love | Friend Guard (HA) |
| Togepi | Moon / Dream / Luxury | Super Luck (HA) |
| Natu | Friend | Magic Bounce (HA) |
| Mareep | Dream / Love / Fast | Plus (HA) |
| Marill | Love / Moon / Level | Huge Power |
| Sudowoodo | Friend | Rattled (HA) |
| Hoppip | Dream | Infiltrator (HA) |
| Aipom | Dream | Skill Link (HA) |
| Sunkern | Friend | Early Bird (HA) |
| Yanma | Moon | Frisk (HA) |
| Johtonian Wooper | Dream | Unaware (HA) |
| Paldean Wooper | Safari / Friend / Level / Heavy | Unaware (HA) |
| Murkrow | Moon / Dream | Prankster (HA) |
| Misdreavus | Moon | Levitate |
| Wobbuffet | Dream | Telepathy (HA) |
| Girafarig | Dream | Sap Sipper (HA) |
| Pineco | Safari | Sturdy |
| Dunsparce | Dream / Moon | Rattled (HA) |
| Gligar | Dream / Moon | Immunity (HA) |
| Snubbull | Dream | Rattled (HA) |
| Johtonian Qwilfish | Dream / Moon | Intimidate (HA) |
| Hisuian Qwilfish | Dream / Moon | Intimidate (HA) |
| Shuckle | Heavy | Contrary (HA) |
| Heracross | Love / Dream | Moxie (HA) |
| Sneasel | Moon / Dream | Pickpocket (HA) |
| Teddiursa | Moon / Friend | Honey Gather (HA) |
| Slugma | Dream / Heavy | Weak Armor (HA) |
| Swinub | Moon / Beast | Thick Fat (HA) |
| Galarian Corsola | Moon | Cursed Body (HA) |
| Remoraid | Dream / Level | Moody (HA) |
| Delibird | Moon / Dream | Insomnia (HA) |
| Mantine | Lure / Moon | Water Veil (HA) |
| Skarmory | Heavy | Sturdy |
| Houndour | Heavy / Moon | Unnerve (HA) |
| Phanpy | Heavy / Level | Sand Veil (HA) |
| Stantler | Dream / Friend / Moon | Sap Sipper (HA) |
| Smeargle | Level | Moody (HA) |
| Tyrogue | Dream / Level / Friend | Vital Spirit (HA) |
| Smoochum | Dream / Moon | Hydration (HA) |
| Elekid | Heavy | Vital Spirit (HA) |
| Magby | Love / Dream | Vital Spirit (HA) |
| Miltank | Moon | Sap Sipper (HA) |
| Larvitar | Friend / Safari | Guts |
-
| Gen 3 Pokémon | Poké Ball | Ability |
|---|---|---|
| Treecko | Friend | Unburden (HA) |
| Torchic | Fast | Blaze/Speed Boost (HA) |
| Mudkip | Lure | Damp (HA) |
| Poochyena | Level | Rattled (HA) |
| Galarian Zigzagoon | Moon / Beast | Quick Feet (HA) |
| Wurmple | Dream | Run Away (HA) |
| Lotad | Friend | Own Tempo (HA) |
| Seedot | Friend | Pickpocket (HA) |
| Taillow | Dream | Scrappy (HA) |
| Wingull | Dream | Rain Dish (HA) |
| Ralts | Friend / Moon | Synchronize/Trace |
| Surskit | Friend | Rain Dish (HA) |
| Shroomish | Friend | Quick Feet (HA) |
| Slakoth | Dream | Truant |
| Nincada | Moon / Level | Run Away (HA) |
| Whismur | Dream | Rattled (HA) |
| Makuhita | Dream | Sheer Force (HA) |
| Nosepass | Heavy / Level | Sand Force (HA) |
| Skitty | Moon / Dream | Wonder Skin (HA) |
| Sableye | Moon / Heavy / Dream | Prankster (HA) |
| Mawile | Moon / Heavy | Sheer Force (HA) |
| Aron | Heavy | Sturdy/Rock Head |
| Meditite | Dream / Heavy / Moon | Telepathy (HA) |
| Electrike | Fast / Heavy | Minus (HA) |
| Plusle | Fast | Lightning Rod (HA) |
| Minun | Fast | Volt Absorb (HA) |
| Illumise | Moon | Prankster (HA) |
| Volbeat | Moon / Level | Prankster (HA) |
| Roselia | Friend | Natural Cure/Poison Point |
| Gulpin | Moon | Gluttony (HA) |
| Carvanha | Dream / Lure / Friend | Speed Boost (HA) |
| Wailmer | Dream | Pressure (HA) |
| Numel | Moon / Level | Own Tempo (HA) |
| Torkoal | Level | Shell Armor (HA) |
| Spoink | Dream / Heavy | Gluttony (HA) |
| Trapinch | Friend | Sheer Force (HA) |
| Cacnea | Friend / Level | Water Absorb (HA) |
| Swablu | Love / Level | Cloud Nine (HA) |
| Zangoose | Moon | Toxic Boost (HA) |
| Seviper | Dream | Infiltrator (HA) |
| Lunatone | Moon | Levitate (Only Ability) |
| Solrock | Level | Levitate (Only Ability) |
| Barboach | Level | Hydration (HA) |
| Corphish | Lure | Adaptability (HA) |
| Baltoy | Dream | Levitate (Only Ability) |
| Lileep | Dream | Storm Drain (HA) |
| Anorith | Level | Swift Swim (HA) |
| Feebas | Dream / Love / Beast / Moon / Level | Adaptability (HA) |
| Kecleon | Friend | Protean (HA) |
| Shuppet | Moon | Cursed Body (HA) |
| Duskull | Moon | Levitate |
| Tropius | Friend | Harvest (HA) |
| Chimecho | Dream / Moon | Levitate (Only Ability) |
| Absol | Moon / Dream | Justified |
| Snorunt | Moon | Moody (HA) |
| Spheal | Dream / Love | Oblivious (HA) |
| Clamperl | Dream / Love / Friend | Rattled (HA) |
| Relicanth | Heavy | Sturdy (HA) |
| Luvdisc | Love | Hydration (HA) |
| Bagon | Moon / Friend / Beast | Sheer Force (HA) |
| Beldum | Heavy | Light Metal (HA) |
-
| Gen 4 Pokémon | Poké Ball | Ability |
|---|---|---|
| Turtwig | Friend | Shell Armor (HA) |
| Chimchar | Love / Friend / Dream / Level | Iron Fist (HA) |
| Piplup | Heavy | Defiant (HA) |
| Starly | Moon | Reckless (HA) |
| Kricketot | Friend / Level / Sport | Run Away (HA) |
| Shinx | Moon / Level | Guts (HA) |
| Cranidos | Heavy | Sheer Force (HA) |
| Shieldon | Heavy / Level | Soundproof (HA) |
| Burmy | Dream | Overcoat (HA) |
| Combee | Sport | Hustle (HA) |
| Pachirisu | Dream | Volt Absorb (HA) |
| Buizel | Level / Fast | Water Veil (HA) |
| Cherubi | Love | Chlorophyll (Only Ability) |
| Shellos (West Sea Form) | Friend | Sand Force (HA) |
| Shellos (West Sea Form) | Dream | Sand Force (HA) |
| Drifloon | Moon / Dream | Flare Boost (HA) |
| Buneary | Dream / Love | Limber (HA) |
| Glameow | Dream | Keen Eye (HA) |
| Stunky | Dream | Keen Eye (HA) |
| Bronzor | Heavy / Friend | Heavy Metal (HA) |
| Spiritomb | Moon | Infiltrator (HA) |
| Gible | Moon | Rough Skin (HA) |
| Riolu | Moon | Prankster (HA) |
| Hippopotas | Level | Sand Force (HA) |
| Skorupi | Dream | Keen Eye (HA) |
| Croagunk | Moon | Poison Touch (HA) |
| Carnivine | Friend | Levitate (Only Ability) |
| Finneon | Moon | Water veil (HA) |
| Snover | Friend | Soundproof (HA) |
| Rotom | Dream / Friend / Moon / Lure / Level | Levitate (Only Ability) |
-
| Gen 5 Pokémon | Poké Ball | Ability |
|---|---|---|
| Snivy | Freind | Contrary (HA) |
| Tepig | Heavy | Thick Fat (HA) |
| Oshawott | Moon / Beast | Shell Armor (HA) |
| Lillipup | Level | Run Away (HA) |
| Purrloin | Moon / Dream | Prankster (HA) |
| Munna | Dream / Love | Telepathy (HA) |
| Pidove | Heavy | Rivalry (HA) |
| Blitzle | Fast | Sap Sipper (HA) |
| Roggenrola | Moon / Heavy | Sand Force (HA) |
| Woobat | Love Simple (HA) | |
| Drillbur | Heavy | Mold Breaker (HA) |
| Audino | Dream / Love | Klutz (HA) |
| Tympole | Lure | Water Absorb (HA) |
| Throh | Dream | Mold Breaker (HA) |
| Sawk | Moon | Mold Breaker (HA) |
| Sewaddle | Friend | Overcoat (HA) |
| Venipede | Dream | Speed Boost (HA) |
| Cottonee | Friend | Chlorophyll (HA) |
| Petilil | Friend | Leaf Guard (HA) |
| Basculin Red | Dream | Mold Breaker (HA) |
| Basculin Blue | Dream | Mold Breaker (HA) |
| Basculin White | Dream / Moon / Friend | Mold Breaker (HA) |
| Sandile | Moon / Level / Dream / Love | Anger Point (HA) |
| Unovan Darumaka | Dream / Level / Love | Inner Focus (HA) |
| Galarian Darumaka | Moon / Love / Beast / Dream | Inner Focus (HA) |
| Maractus | Friend | Storm Drain (HA) |
| Dwebble | Level / Friend | Weak Armor (HA) |
| Scraggy | Level | Intimidate (HA) |
| Sigilyph | Dream / Level | Tinted Lens (HA) |
| Yamask | Moon | Mummy (Only Ability) |
| Galarian Yamask | Moon | Wandering Spirit (Only Ability) |
| Tirtouga | Heavy / Moon / Dream | Swift Swim (HA) |
| Archen | Level | Defeatist (Only Ability) |
| Trubbish | Heavy | Aftermath (HA) |
| Zorua | Moon | Illusion (Only Ability) |
| Hisuian Zorua | Moon / Premier | Illusion (Only Ability) |
| Minccino | Level | Skill Link (HA) |
| Gothita | Dream / Luxury | Shadow Tag (HA) |
| Solosis | Dream / Friend | Regenerator (HA) |
| Ducklett | Moon | Hydration (HA) |
| Vanillite | Dream / Moon | Weak Armor (HA) |
| Deerling | Friend / Level / Love / Dream / Moon | Serene Grace (HA) |
| Emolga | Fast | Motor Drive (HA) |
| Karrablast | Level | No Guard (HA) |
| Foongus | Moon / Heavy | Regenerator (HA) |
| Frillish | Dream | Damp (HA) |
| Alomomola | Love | Regenerator (HA) |
| Joltik | Level | Swarm (HA) |
| Ferroseed | Friend / Heavy | Iron Barbs (Only Ability) |
| Klink | Heavy / Moon | Clear Body (HA) |
| Tynamo | Fast / Lure / Level | Levitate (Only Ability) |
| Elgyem | Dream | Analytic (HA) |
| Litwick | Moon | Infiltrator (HA) |
| Axew | Moon / Beast | Unnerve (HA) |
| Cubchoo | Moon / Dream | Rattled (HA) |
| Cryogonal | Moon | Levitate (Only Ability) |
| Shelmet | Heavy | Overcoat (HA) |
| Unovan Stunfisk | Friend / Level / Fast | Sand Veil (HA) |
| Galarian Stunfisk | Friend | Mimicry (Only Ability) |
| Mienfoo | Dream / Level / Moon | Reckless (HA) |
| Druddigon | Moon / Friend | Mold Breaker (HA) |
| Golett | Moon | No Guard (HA) |
| Pawniard | Moon / Heavy | Pressure (HA) |
| Bouffalant | Level | Soundproof (HA) |
| Rufflet | Dream / Heavy / Moon | Hustle (HA) |
| Vullaby | Heavy / Moon / Dream | Weak Armor (HA) |
| Heatmor | Heavy / Level | White Smoke (HA) |
| Durant | Heavy | Truant (HA) |
| Deino | Moon | Hustle (HA) |
| Larvesta | Friend / Sport | Swarm (HA) |
-
| Gen 6 Pokémon | Poké Ball | Ability |
|---|---|---|
| Fennekin | Dream / Love / Level / Moon | Magician (HA) |
| Froakie | Moon | Protean (HA) |
| Bunnelby | Level | Huge Power (HA) |
| Fletchling | Level | Gale Wings (HA) |
| Litleo | Level | Moxie (HA) |
| Flabébé (Red Flower) | Love / Dream | Symbiosis (HA) |
| Flabébé (Orange Flower) | Fast / Level / Friend | Symbiosis (HA) |
| Flabébé (Yellow Flower) | Fast / Level | Symbiosis (HA) |
| Flabébé (Blue Flower) | Moon / Friend | Symbiosis (HA) |
| Flabébé (White Flower) | Moon / Friend | Symbiosis (HA) |
| Skiddo | Friend | Grass Pelt (HA) |
| Pancham | Moon / Heavy / Level | Scrappy (HA) |
| Furfrou | Friend / Moon / Love / Heavy / Level / Lure / Fast / Beast | Fur Coat (Only Ability) |
| Espurr | Dream | Own Tempo (HA) |
| Honedge | Moon | No Guard (Only Ability) |
| Spritzee | Love | Aroma Veil (HA) |
| Swirlix | Love | Unburden (HA) |
| Inkay | Dream | Infiltrator (HA) |
| Binacle | Heavy | Pickpocket (HA) |
| Skrelp | Moon | Adaptability (HA) |
| Clauncher | Lure | Mega Launcher (Only Ability) |
| Helioptile | Level | Solar Power (HA) |
| Tyrunt | Heavy / Moon | Sturdy (HA) |
| Amaura | Moon / Love | Snow Warning (HA) |
| Hawlucha | Friend / Moon / Dream | Mold Breaker (HA) |
| Dedenne | Fast | Plus (HA) |
| Carbink | Dream / Dream | Sturdy (HA) |
| Goomy | Dream / Love / Moon / Level / Friend / Lure / Heavy | Gooey (HA) |
| Klefki | Dream | Magician (HA) |
| Phantump | Moon | Harvest (HA) |
| Pumpkaboo (Small Size) | Moon | Insomnia (HA) |
| Pumpkaboo (Average Size) | Moon | Insomnia (HA) |
| Pumpkaboo (Large Size) | Moon | Insomnia (HA) |
| Pumpkaboo (Super Size) | Moon | Insomnia (HA) |
| Bergmite | Moon / Premier | Sturdy (HA) |
| Noibat | Moon | Telepathy (HA) |
-
| Gen 7 Pokémon | Poké Ball | Ability |
|---|---|---|
| Rowlet | Moon | Long Reach (HA) |
| Litten | Luxury | Intimidate (HA) |
| Popplio | Love | Liquid Voice (HA) |
| Pikipek | Level | Pickup (HA) |
| Yungoos | Dream / Friend | Adaptability (HA) |
| Grubbin | Fast | Swarm (Only Ability) |
| Crabrawler | Lure | Anger Point (HA) |
| Oricorio (Baile Style) | Love | Dancer (Only Ability) |
| Oricorio (Pom-Pom Style) | Fast | Dancer (Only Ability) |
| Oricorio (Pa'u Style) | Dream | Dancer (Only Ability) |
| Oricorio (Sensu Style) | Moon | Dancer (Only Ability) |
| Cutiefly | Love / Dream | Sweet Veil (HA) |
| Rockruff | Moon | Steadfast (HA) |
| Rockruff | Moon | Own Tempo (Dusk Lycanroc) |
| Wishiwashi | Moon / Lure | Schooling (Only Ability) |
| Mareanie | Moon / Lure | Reverberator (HA) |
| Mudbray | Heavy | Inner Focus (HA) |
| Dewpider | Lure | Water Absorb (HA) |
| Fomantis | Friend | Contrary (HA) |
| Morelull | Love | Rain Dish (HA) |
| Salandit | Love / Moon / Sport | Oblivious (HA) |
| Stufful | Love | Cute Charm (HA) |
| Bounsweet | Dream / Friend | Sweet Veil (HA) |
| Comfey | Dream | Natural Cure (HA) |
| Oranguru | Dream | |
| Passimian | Friend | |
| Wimpod | Heavy | Wimp Out |
| Sandygast | Moon | Sand Veil (HA) |
| Pyukumuku | Dream | Unaware (HA) |
| Minior (Red Core) | Moon | Shields Down (Only Ability) |
| Minior (Orange Core) | Moon | Shields Down (Only Ability) |
| Minior (Yellow Core) | Moon | Shields Down (Only Ability) |
| Minior (Green Core) | Moon | Shields Down (Only Ability) |
| Minior (Blue Core) | Moon | Shields Down (Only Ability) |
| Minior (Indigo Core) | Moon | Shields Down (Only Ability) |
| Minior (Violet Core) | Moon | Shields Down (Only Ability) |
| Komala | Love | Comatose (Only Ability) |
| Turtonator | Heavy / Beast | Shell Armor (Only Ability) |
| Togedemaru | Fast | Sturdy (HA) |
| Mimikyu | Moon | Disguise (Only Ability) |
| Bruxish | Dream | Wonder Skin (HA) |
| Drampa | Moon / Dream | Cloud Nine (HA) |
| Dhelmise | Friend / Moon | Steelworker (Only Ability) |
| Jangmo-o | Heavy / Love | Overcoat (HA) |
-
| Gen 8 Pokémon | Poké Ball | Ability |
|---|---|---|
| Grookey | Friend | Grassy Surge (HA) |
| Scorbunny | Level | Libero (HA) |
| Sobble | Dream / Love | Sniper (HA) |
| Skwovet | Level | Gluttony (HA) |
| Rookidee | Heavy | Big Pecks (HA) |
| Blipbug | Moon / Dream | Telepathy (HA) |
| Nickit | Moon | Stakout (HA) |
| Gossifleur | Friend | Effect Spore (HA) |
| Wooloo | Moon / Love | Bulletproof (HA) |
| Chewtle | Friend | Swift Swim (HA) |
| Yamper | Fast | Rattled (HA) |
| Rolycoly | Level / Heavy | Flash Fire (HA) |
| Applin | Friend | Bulletproof (HA) |
| Silicobra | Level | Sand Veil (HA) |
| Cramorant | Moon | Gulp Missile (Only Ability) |
| Arrokuda | Level | Propeller Tail (HA) |
| Toxel | Dream | Klutz (HA) |
| Sizzlipede | Level | Flame Body (HA) |
| Clobbopus | Level | Technician (HA) |
| Sinistea | Moon / Love / Sport | Cursed Body (HA) |
| Hatenna | Moon | Magic Bounce (HA) |
| Impidimp | Moon / Dream / Friend | Pickpocket (HA) |
| Milcery | Love | Aroma veil (HA) |
| Falinks | Level | Defiant (HA) |
| Pincurchin | Fast | Electric Surge (HA) |
| Snom | Friend | Icicle Scales (HA) |
| Stonjourner | Heavy | Power Spot |
| Eiscue | Moon / Dream | Ice Face (Only Ability) |
| Indeedee | Love / Dream | Psychic Surge (HA) |
| Morpeko | Fast | Hunger Switch (Only Ability) |
| Cufant | Heavy | Heavy Metal (HA) |
| Duraludon | Heavy | Stalwart (HA) |
| Dreepy | Moon / Friend | Cursed Body (HA) |
-
| Gen 9 Pokémon | Poké Ball | Ability |
|---|---|---|
| Lechonk | Heavy / Moon / Love / Dream Level / | Thick Fat (HA) |
| Nymble | Moon | Tinted Lens (HA) |
| Pawmi | Fast | Iron Fist (HA) |
| Tandemaus | Premier | Own Tempo (HA) |
| Fidough | Love | Klutz (HA) |
| Smoliv | Friend | Harvest (HA) |
| Squawkabilly (Green) | Friend | Guts (HA) |
| Nacli | Heavy | Clear Body (HA) |
| Charcadet | Moon / Level | Flame Body (HA) |
| Tadbulb | Fast | Damp (HA) |
| Wattrel | Fast | Competitive (HA) |
| Maschiff | Moon | Stakeout (HA) |
| Shroodle | Moon / Safari / Friend | Prankster (HA) |
| Capsakid | Friend | Klutz (HA) |
| Bramblin | Friend / Moon | Infiltrator (HA) |
| Toedscool | Friend | Mycelium Might (Only Ability) |
| Klawf | Level | Regenerator (HA) |
| Flittle | Dream | Speed Boost (HA) |
| Tinkatink | Love / Dream | Pickpocket (HA) |
| Wiglett | Moon / Lure | Sand Veil (HA) |
| Bombirdier | Moon / Level | Rocky Payload (HA) |
| Finizen | Lure | Water Veil (Only Ability) |
| Varoom | Heavy | Slow Start (HA) |
| Cyclizar | Friend | Regenerator (HA) |
| Orthworm | Heavy | Sand Veil (HA) |
| Glimmet | Moon | Corrosion (HA) |
| Greavard | Moon | Fluffy (HA) |
| Flamigo | Dream / Love | Costar (HA) |
| Cetoddle | Moon / Heavy | Sheer Force (HA) |
| Veluza | Dream / Friend | Sharpness (HA) |
| Dondozo | Moon | Water Veil (HA) |
| Tatsugiri (Curly Form) | Moon | Storm Drain (HA) |
| Tatsugiri (Droopy Form) | Moon | Storm Drain (HA) |
| Tatsugiri (Stretchy Form) | Moon | Storm Drain (HA) |
| Frigibax | Moon | Ice Body (HA) |
| Poltchageist | Friend | Heatproof (HA) |
2024.05.14 17:23 calvin324hk [H] 1000+ Games / DLCs / VR Games [W] Paypal / Wishlist / Offers
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/pikmri/calvin324hks_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name
DLCs and Softwares:
submitted by calvin324hk to indiegameswap [link] [comments]
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name
- 10 Second Ninja X
- 11-11 Memories Retold
- 112 Operator
- 12 is Better Than 6
- 198X
- 1993 Space Machine
- 60 Parsecs
- 7 Billion Humans
- 8 DOORS
- 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
- 9 Years of Shadows
- 911 Operator
- A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
- A Hat in Time
- A Hole New World
- A JUGGLER'S TALE
- A Long Way Down
- A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
- A Robot Named Fight!
- A Tale for Anna
- A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
- Ace Combat Assault Horizon Enhanced Edition
- Adore
- Aeterna Noctis
- AETHERIS
- Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
- AIdol
- Airborne Kingdom
- Alba: A Wildlife Adventure
- Alder's Blood: Definitive Edition
- Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo
- Alien Breed Trilogy
- Aliens vs. Predator™ Collection
- All-Star Fruit Racing
- Almost There: The Platformer
- American Fugitive
- American Truck Simulator
- Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy
- AMID EVIL
- Amnesia rebirth
- Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
- Anomalous
- Another World – 20th Anniversary Edition
- Antigraviator
- Anuchard
- APICO
- APICO
- Aragami
- Aragami 2
- Arboria
- Arcade Paradise
- Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP
- Arcade Spirits
- Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
- Armada 2526 Gold Edition
- Army Men RTS
- army of ruin
- Arto
- Ary and the Secret of Seasons
- As Far as the Eye
- Ascension to the Throne
- Assemble With Care
- Assetto Corsa Competizione
- Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition
- Astebreed Definitive Edition
- Astronarch
- Attack of the Earthlings
- Automachef
- Automobilista
- Automobilista 2
- AUTONAUTS
- AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
- Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora™ - Ubisoft Connect
- AVICII Invector: Encore Edition
- Awesomenauts All Nauts pack
- Baba is you
- Back 4 Blood
- Back 4 blood (EU)
- Backbone
- Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition
- Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition
- Banners of Ruin
- Bartlow's Dread Machine
- BASEMENT
- Batbarian: Testament of the Primordials
- Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
- Batman: Arkham Origins
- Battle Royale Tycoon
- Battlecruisers
- Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
- BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DEADLOCK SEASON ONE
- Battlestar Galactica Deadlock: Complete
- BATTLETECH MERCENARY COLLECTION
- BATTLETECH Shadow Hawk Pack
- BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
- BEFORE WE LEAVE
- Beholder 2
- Ben 10
- Ben 10: Power Trip
- Bendy and the Ink Machine™
- Between the Stars
- Beyond a Steel Sky
- Beyond The Edge Of Owlsgard
- Beyond the Long Night
- BEYOND THE WIRE
- Beyond: Two Souls
- BIOMUTANT
- Bionic Commando
- Bionic Commando Rearmed
- BioShock: The Collection
- BLACK BOOK
- Black Moon Chronicles
- Black Paradox
- BLACK SKYLANDS
- BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
- Blacksad: Under the Skin
- Blade of Darkness
- Blasphemous
- Blazing Chrome
- Blightbound
- Blood And Zombies
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition
- Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
- Bomber Crew
- Boneless Zombie
- Boomerang Fu
- Borderlands 3
- Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
- Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition
- Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
- Bot Vice
- Bounty of One
- Brawlout
- Breakout: Recharged
- Breathedge
- bridge constructor
- Bridge constructor medieval
- bridge constructor stunts
- Broken Lines
- Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
- Brutal Legend
- Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
- BUILDER SIMULATOR
- calico
- Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™ (2011)
- Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
- Car Mechanic 2018
- Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
- Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
- Castle Morihisa
- Castle on the Coast
- castle storm
- CastleStorm
- Cat Cafe Manager
- Caveblazers
- Celeste
- Centipede: Recharged
- CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience
- Charlie's Adventure
- Chenso Club
- Chernobylite: Enhanced Edition
- Chess Ultra
- Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
- Chivalry 2
- Chop Goblins
- Chorus
- Cities Skylines + After Dark
- Cities: Skylines
- City of Beats
- CivCity: Rome
- Click and Slay
- Cloud Gardens
- Cloudpunk
- Code Vein
- Coffee Talk
- Comedy Night
- Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
- Complete Dread X Collection
- Conarium
- Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
- Constructor Plus
- Control
- Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
- cornucopia
- Corridor Z
- Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel
- Cosmonautica
- Crash Drive 2
- Crash Drive 3
- Creaks
- Creepy Tale
- Crookz the big heist
- CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
- Crush Your Enemies
- Cube Runner
- Cultist Simulator: Anthology Edition
- Curse: The Eye of Isis
- Cyber Ops
- Cybercube
- Danger Scavenger
- Dark Deity
- DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
- Darksiders Warmastered
- Darkwood
- DARQ: Complete Edition
- Day of the Tentacle Remastered
- days of war definitive edition
- Dead by Daylight
- Dead Estate
- Dead Rising 2
- Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
- Death Stranding Directors Cut
- DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT
- Deceased
- DECEIVE INC.
- Degrees of Separation
- Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
- Deliver Us The Moon
- Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
- Depraved
- DESCENDERS
- DESOLATE
- Destiny 2: Beyond Light
- DESTROYER: THE U-BOAT HUNTER
- Detention
- Devil May Cry HD Collection
- Devilated
- Dicey Dungeons
- Dirt 5
- dirt rally
- Dirt Rally 2.0
- Disaster Band
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- Discolored
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- WE NEED TO GO DEEPER
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- Webbed
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- Wick
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- Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
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- Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
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- SONIC ADVENTURE 2: BATTLE
- Small World - A Spider's Web
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- The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - Goodies Pack
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- Thompson Class B1 Loco Add-On
- Total War: Shogun 2 - Rise of the Samurai
- Train Sim World® 3: Birmingham Cross-city line
- Train Sim World®: BR Class 20 'Chopper' Loco
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- Train Sim World®: Caltrain MP36PH-3C 'Baby Bullet'
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- Train Sim World®: Clinchfield Railroad: Elkhorn - Dante
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- Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford
- Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Dark Dreams of Furiae
- Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Tyrants of the Moonsea
- Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
- Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons
- Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast
- Neverwinter Nights: Wyvern Crown of Cormyr
- PDF-Suite 1 Year License
- Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
- RPG Maker VX
- WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS - Ultimate Brawlers Pass
- We Are Alright
- The Outer Worlds Expansion Pass
- A Hat in Time - Seal the Deal DLC
- City Skylines:mass transit
- A Game Of Thrones - A Dance With Dragons
- A Game Of Thrones - A Feast For Crows
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Gods of Asgard
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mythical Monsters
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mystics of Midgard
- Carcassonne - The Princess and The Dragon DLC
- Carcassonne - Traders & Builders DLC
- Carcassonne - Winter & Gingerbread Man DLC
- Carcassonne - Inns & Cathedrals
- Carcassonne - The River
- Splendor: The Trading Posts DLC
- Splendor: The Strongholds DLC
- Splendor: The Cities DLC
- Small World - Be Not Afraid... DLC
- Small World - Grand Dames DLC
- Small World - Cursed!
- Sands of Salzaar - The Ember Saga
- Sands of Salzaar - The Tournament
- Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
- WARSAW
2024.05.14 17:23 calvin324hk [H] 1000+ Games / DLCs / VR Games [W] Paypal / Wishlist / Offers
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/pikmri/calvin324hks_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name
DLCs and Softwares:
submitted by calvin324hk to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name
- 10 Second Ninja X
- 11-11 Memories Retold
- 112 Operator
- 12 is Better Than 6
- 198X
- 1993 Space Machine
- 60 Parsecs
- 7 Billion Humans
- 8 DOORS
- 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
- 9 Years of Shadows
- 911 Operator
- A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
- A Hat in Time
- A Hole New World
- A JUGGLER'S TALE
- A Long Way Down
- A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
- A Robot Named Fight!
- A Tale for Anna
- A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
- Ace Combat Assault Horizon Enhanced Edition
- Adore
- Aeterna Noctis
- AETHERIS
- Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
- AIdol
- Airborne Kingdom
- Alba: A Wildlife Adventure
- Alder's Blood: Definitive Edition
- Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo
- Alien Breed Trilogy
- Aliens vs. Predator™ Collection
- All-Star Fruit Racing
- Almost There: The Platformer
- American Fugitive
- American Truck Simulator
- Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy
- AMID EVIL
- Amnesia rebirth
- Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
- Anomalous
- Another World – 20th Anniversary Edition
- Antigraviator
- Anuchard
- APICO
- APICO
- Aragami
- Aragami 2
- Arboria
- Arcade Paradise
- Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP
- Arcade Spirits
- Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
- Armada 2526 Gold Edition
- Army Men RTS
- army of ruin
- Arto
- Ary and the Secret of Seasons
- As Far as the Eye
- Ascension to the Throne
- Assemble With Care
- Assetto Corsa Competizione
- Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition
- Astebreed Definitive Edition
- Astronarch
- Attack of the Earthlings
- Automachef
- Automobilista
- Automobilista 2
- AUTONAUTS
- AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
- Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora™ - Ubisoft Connect
- AVICII Invector: Encore Edition
- Awesomenauts All Nauts pack
- Baba is you
- Back 4 Blood
- Back 4 blood (EU)
- Backbone
- Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition
- Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition
- Banners of Ruin
- Bartlow's Dread Machine
- BASEMENT
- Batbarian: Testament of the Primordials
- Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
- Batman: Arkham Origins
- Battle Royale Tycoon
- Battlecruisers
- Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
- BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DEADLOCK SEASON ONE
- Battlestar Galactica Deadlock: Complete
- BATTLETECH MERCENARY COLLECTION
- BATTLETECH Shadow Hawk Pack
- BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
- BEFORE WE LEAVE
- Beholder 2
- Ben 10
- Ben 10: Power Trip
- Bendy and the Ink Machine™
- Between the Stars
- Beyond a Steel Sky
- Beyond The Edge Of Owlsgard
- Beyond the Long Night
- BEYOND THE WIRE
- Beyond: Two Souls
- BIOMUTANT
- Bionic Commando
- Bionic Commando Rearmed
- BioShock: The Collection
- BLACK BOOK
- Black Moon Chronicles
- Black Paradox
- BLACK SKYLANDS
- BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
- Blacksad: Under the Skin
- Blade of Darkness
- Blasphemous
- Blazing Chrome
- Blightbound
- Blood And Zombies
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition
- Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
- Bomber Crew
- Boneless Zombie
- Boomerang Fu
- Borderlands 3
- Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
- Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition
- Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
- Bot Vice
- Bounty of One
- Brawlout
- Breakout: Recharged
- Breathedge
- bridge constructor
- Bridge constructor medieval
- bridge constructor stunts
- Broken Lines
- Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
- Brutal Legend
- Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
- BUILDER SIMULATOR
- calico
- Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™ (2011)
- Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
- Car Mechanic 2018
- Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
- Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
- Castle Morihisa
- Castle on the Coast
- castle storm
- CastleStorm
- Cat Cafe Manager
- Caveblazers
- Celeste
- Centipede: Recharged
- CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience
- Charlie's Adventure
- Chenso Club
- Chernobylite: Enhanced Edition
- Chess Ultra
- Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
- Chivalry 2
- Chop Goblins
- Chorus
- Cities Skylines + After Dark
- Cities: Skylines
- City of Beats
- CivCity: Rome
- Click and Slay
- Cloud Gardens
- Cloudpunk
- Code Vein
- Coffee Talk
- Comedy Night
- Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
- Complete Dread X Collection
- Conarium
- Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
- Constructor Plus
- Control
- Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
- cornucopia
- Corridor Z
- Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel
- Cosmonautica
- Crash Drive 2
- Crash Drive 3
- Creaks
- Creepy Tale
- Crookz the big heist
- CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
- Crush Your Enemies
- Cube Runner
- Cultist Simulator: Anthology Edition
- Curse: The Eye of Isis
- Cyber Ops
- Cybercube
- Danger Scavenger
- Dark Deity
- DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
- Darksiders Warmastered
- Darkwood
- DARQ: Complete Edition
- Day of the Tentacle Remastered
- days of war definitive edition
- Dead by Daylight
- Dead Estate
- Dead Rising 2
- Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
- Death Stranding Directors Cut
- DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT
- Deceased
- DECEIVE INC.
- Degrees of Separation
- Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
- Deliver Us The Moon
- Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
- Depraved
- DESCENDERS
- DESOLATE
- Destiny 2: Beyond Light
- DESTROYER: THE U-BOAT HUNTER
- Detention
- Devil May Cry HD Collection
- Devilated
- Dicey Dungeons
- Dirt 5
- dirt rally
- Dirt Rally 2.0
- Disaster Band
- Disciples III: Reincarnation
- Discolored
- DISTRAINT 2
- Distrust
- DmC: Devil May Cry
- Do Not Feed the Monkeys
- Don't Be Afraid
- Doomed Lands
- Door Kickers: Action Squad
- Doorways: Prelude
- Downfall
- Dragons Dogma Dark Arisen
- Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
- Draugen
- Draw Slasher
- Drawful 2
- Dreams in the Witch House
- Dreamscaper
- DreamWorks Dragons: Dawn of New Riders
- DRIFT21
- Driftland: The Magic Revival
- drive!drive!drive!
- Drone Swarm
- Due Process
- Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project
- Duke of Alpha Centauri
- Dungeon Rushers
- Dungeons 2
- Dungeons 3
- DUSK
- Dusk Diver
- Dust to the End
- DV: Rings of Saturn
- Dynopunk
- Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair
- Eastern Exorcist
- Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
- El Matador
- Elderand
- ELDEST SOULS
- Electrician Simulator
- Elemental Survivors
- Elex
- Elex II
- Elite Dangerous
- Embr
- Empire: Total War - Definitive Edition
- Empyrion - Galactic Survival
- ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
- Endless Space 2
- Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
- Endless Space® 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
- Endzone - A World Apart
- EPIC CHEF
- Epistory - Typing Chronicles
- Escape the backrooms
- Eternal Threads
- Europa Universalis IV
- European Ship Simulator
- Everdream Valley
- Evil Genius 2: World Domination
- Exorder
- EXPEDITIONS: ROME
- Expeditions: Viking
- Explosionade
- F1 2018
- F1 2019 Anniversary Edition
- F1 2020
- F1 RACE STARS Complete Edition Include DLC
- Fable Anniversary
- Factory Town
- Fallback uprising
- Fallback: Uprising
- FALLOUT 1
- Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
- FANTASY BLACKSMITH
- FARMER'S DYNASTY
- Farming Simulator 17
- Farming Simulator 19
- Fictorum
- Field of Glory II
- Fights in Tight Spaces
- Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
- Firefighting Simulator - The Squad
- Fishing Adventure
- Flashback
- FLATLAND Vol.2
- FlatOut
- FLING TO THE FINISH
- Floppy Knights
- Fluffy Horde
- FOBIA - ST. DINFNA HOTEL
- For the King
- Forgive me Father
- Forts
- Fred3ric
- Fresh Start Cleaning Simulator
- Friends vs Friends
- Frogun
- From Space
- Frostpunk: Game of the Year Edition
- Frozenheim
- Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
- Funtasia
- Gamedec
- Gamedec - Definitive Edition
- Gang Beasts
- GARAGE bad trip
- Garden Story
- Garfield Kart
- GAS STATION SIMULATOR
- Gelly Break Deluxe
- Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
- Gevaudan
- Ghostrunner
- Giana Sisters 2D
- GIGA WRECKER
- Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
- Glitch Busters: Stuck On You
- Gloria Victis
- Go Home Dinosaurs
- GOAT OF DUTY
- GOD EATER 3
- Godlike Burger
- Godstrike
- Going Under
- Golf Gang
- Golf It!
- Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
- Good Knight
- Gotham Knights
- GREAK: MEMORIES OF AZUR
- GREEDFALL
- Gremlins, inc
- grey goo
- GRID - 2019
- grid ultimate
- GRIP: Combat Racing
- Gungrave G.O.R.E
- Guppy
- Guts and glory
- GYLT
- Hacknet
- Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
- Hamilton's Great Adventure
- Hammerwatch
- Hands of Necromancy
- Havsala: Into the Soul Palace
- Headsnatchers
- Heartwood Heroes
- Heat Signature
- Helheim Hassle
- Hell Let Loose
- Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
- Hellbound
- Hellstuck: Rage With Your Friends
- Hero of the Kingdom III
- Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
- Heroes of Hammerwatch
- Heros hour
- Hexologic
- Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
- Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
- Hidden Deep
- High On Life
- Hitman (2016) Game of the Year Edition
- HITMAN 2 - Gold Edition
- Hoa
- Hob
- Hollow Knight
- Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?!
- Home Sweet Home
- Home Sweet Home EP2
- Homestead Arcana
- Hood: Outlaws & Legends
- Hoplegs
- Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora
- HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED ™
- Hotshot Racing
- House Flipper
- How to Survive 2
- Hue
- Human: Fall Flat
- HUMANKIND DEFINITIVE EDITION
- Hungry Flame
- Hyper Knights
- I am Bread
- I Am Fish
- I am not a Monster: First Contact
- I Hate Running Backwards
- ibb & obb Double Pack
- ICBM
- Ice Age Scrat's Nutty Adventure
- Ice Lakes
- Impostor Factory
- IN SOUND MIND
- Indivisible
- INDUSTRIA
- Infectonator 3: Apocalypse
- Infinite Beyond The Mind
- Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
- Insane 2
- INSOMNIA: The Ark
- Internet Cafe Simulator
- Internet Cafe Simulator 2
- Interstellar Space: Genesis
- Iron Fisticle
- Iron Harvest
- Ittle Dew
- Ittle Dew 2+
- Jack Move
- Jackbox party pack 2
- Jackbox party pack 5
- JANITOR BLEEDS
- Joint Task Force
- Jotun: Valhalla Edition
- Journey For Elysium
- Journey to the Savage Planet
- JUMANJI: The Video Game
- JumpJet Rex
- Juno: New Origins
- Jupiter Hell
- Jurassic Park: The Game
- Jurassic World Evolution
- Jurassic World Evolution 2
- JUST CAUSE 4: COMPLETE EDITION
- Just Die Already
- Kardboard Kings: Card Shop Simulator
- Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
- Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
- Kentucky Route Zero - Season Pass Edition
- Kerbal Space Program
- Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition
- Killing Room
- Kingdom Two Crowns
- Kingdom: New Lands
- King's Bounty: Crossworlds
- Knights of Pen & Paper 2
- Knock-knock
- Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
- Konung 2
- KungFu Kickball
- Labyrinthine
- Lair of the Clockwork God
- Laserlife
- LAST OASIS
- Lawn Mowing Simulator
- Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition
- Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
- Learn Japanese To Survive! Hiragana Battle
- Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War
- Learn Japanese to Survive! Trilogy
- Legend of Keepers
- LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
- LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE.
- Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
- Leisure Suit Larry 1-7
- Lemnis Gate
- Lemon Cake
- lethal league blaze
- Let's School
- Levelhead
- Liberated (GOG)
- Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5)
- Light Fairytale Episode 1
- Light Fairytale Episode 2
- LIGHTMATTER
- Little dragons cafe
- Little Hope
- Little Inner Monsters - Card Game
- Little Nightmares
- Little Nightmares Complete Edition
- Livelock
- Loop Hero
- Loot River
- Looterkings
- Lornsword Winter Chronicle
- Lost Castle
- Love Letter
- Lovecraft's Untold Stories
- Lovely planet arcade
- Lucius2
- Lucius3
- Ludus
- Lumberhill
- LunarLux
- Lust for Darkness
- Lust from Beyond: M Edition
- Mad Experiments: Escape Room
- Mad Max
- Mafia Definitive Edition
- Mafia: Definitive Edition
- Magenta Horizon
- Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
- Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
- Mail Time
- Maize
- Maneater
- Marooners
- MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
- Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition
- Mato Anomalies
- Max Payne 3
- Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
- Medieval II: Total War - Definitive Edition
- Medieval: Total War Collection
- MEEPLE STATION
- Men of War
- MERCHANT OF THE SKIES
- METAL HELLSINGER
- Metal Hellsinger
- Metro Exodus
- Metro last light
- Metro: Last Light Redux
- Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
- Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
- Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
- MIDNIGHT PROTOCOL
- Mighty Switch Force! Collection
- MIND SCANNERS
- Ministry of Broadcast
- Minute of Islands
- Miscreated
- Mists of Noyah
- MKXL
- Mob Rule Classic
- Monaco
- Monster Slayers - Complete Edition
- Monster Train
- MONSTER TRAIN (FIRST CLASS - COLLECTORS EDITION)
- Monstrum
- Monstrum 2
- Moon Hunters
- Moons of Madness
- MORDHAU
- Mordheim: City of the Damned
- Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition
- MORTAL KOMBAT XL
- Mortal Shell
- Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
- Mr. Run and Jump
- Murder Mystery Machine
- My Big Sister
- My Friend Peppa Pig
- My Lovely Wife
- My Summer Adventure: Memories of Another Life
- My Time At Portia
- N++ (NPLUSPLUS)
- Napoleon: Total War - Definitive Edition
- Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
- NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
- NECROMUNDA: HIRED GUN
- Necronator: Dead Wrong
- NecroVisioN: Lost Company
- NecroWorm
- Neighbours back From Hell
- Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD
- Neon Space
- Neon Space 2
- Neon Sundown
- Nephise: Ascension
- Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
- Never Alone Arctic Collection (w/ Foxtales DLC and FREE Soundtrack)
- Neverinth
- Neverout
- Neverwinter Nights: Complete Adventures
- Newt One
- Nexomon: Extinction
- Nigate Tale
- Nine Parchments
- Nine Witches: Family Disruption
- No Straight Roads: Encore Edition
- No Time to Relax
- Nomad Survival
- Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
- Noosphere
- Northgard
- Northmark: Hour of the Wolf
- Nostradamus: The Last Prophecy
- not the robots
- Nurse Love Addiction
- Nurse Love Syndrome
- Nusakana
- Obduction
- Obey Me
- Observer: System Redux
- Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
- Odallus: The Dark Call
- Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
- One Finger Death Punch 2
- One Hand Clapping
- One More Island
- One Step From Eden
- One Step From Eden (Region locked)
- Orbital Racer
- OTXO
- Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
- Out of Space
- Overclocked: A History of Violence
- Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
- Overpass
- Overruled
- OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
- Pac-Man Museum +
- Pan'Orama
- Panty Party
- Panzer Corps 2
- Papo & Yo
- PARADISE LOST
- Parkan 2
- PARTISANS 1941
- Passpartout 2: The Lost Artist
- Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous
- Patron
- Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
- Paws of Coal
- Payday 2
- PAYDAY 2
- Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
- PER ASPERA
- Perfect
- PGA 2K21
- PGA Tour 2K21
- Pharaonic
- Pixplode
- Pizza Connection 3
- Plague tale
- Planescape: Torment Enhanced Edition
- Planet Alcatraz
- PLANET ZOO
- PlateUp!
- Pogostuck: Rage With Your Friends
- Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
- Police Stories
- Poly Island
- Post Void
- Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
- Prank Call
- Prehistoric Kingdom
- Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
- Pretty Girls Panic!
- Prey
- Primal Carnage: Extinction
- Princess Kaguya: Legend of the Moon Warrior
- Pro Cycling Manager 2020
- Prodeus
- Project CARS - GOTY Edition
- Project Warlock
- Project Wingman (EU)
- PROJECT WINTER
- Propnight
- PULSAR: The Lost Colony
- qomp
- Quadrilateral Cowboy
- Quake II
- Quantum Break
- Quern - Undying Thoughts
- Radio Commander
- RAGE
- Rage in Peace
- RAILROAD CORPORATION
- Railroad Tycoon 3
- Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
- Railway Empire
- Rain World
- Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King
- Re: Legend
- REBEL COPS
- Rebel Galaxy
- Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
- Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
- Red Riding Hood - Star Crossed Lovers
- Red Ronin
- RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
- Redout Complete Bundle
- Redout: Enhanced Edition
- Redout: Enhanced Edition + DLC pack
- Regular Human Basketball
- REKT! High Octane Stunts
- Relicta
- REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
- Republique
- Rescue Party: Live!
- Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
- Resident Evil 4
- Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
- Resident Evil 7 Biohazard
- Resident Evil Revelations
- Resort Boss: Golf
- RETROWAVE
- rFactor 2
- RiME
- Ring of Pain
- Rise of Industry + 2130 DLC
- Rise of the Slime
- Rising Storm 2: Vietnam + 2 DLCs
- Riven: The Sequel to MYST
- River City Girls
- River City Ransom: Underground
- Roarr! Jurassic Edition
- Roboquest
- Robot Squad Simulator 2017
- Rogue : Genesia
- ROGUE HEROES: RUINS OF TASOS
- ROGUE LORDS
- Rogue Stormers
- rollercoaster tycoon 2
- ROTASTIC
- Roundguard
- ROUNDS
- RUNNING WITH RIFLES
- Rustler
- Ryse: Son of Rome
- S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
- Sailing Era
- Saint Row
- Sam and Max Devil's Playhouse
- SAMUDRA
- Sands of Aura
- Sands of Salzaar
- Saturday Morning RPG
- Save Room - Organization Puzzle
- Scarlet Tower
- Scorn
- SCP: 5K
- SCUM
- SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
- Second Extinction
- Secret Government
- Serious Sam 3 Bonus Content DLC, Serious Sam 3: Jewel of the Nile, and Serious Sam 3: BFE
- SEUM speedrunners from hell
- SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
- Severed Steel
- Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
- Shadowgate
- SHADOWS: AWAKENING
- Shape of the World
- She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
- Shenmue I & II
- SHENZHEN I/O
- Shift Happens
- Shing!
- Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
- Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
- Sid Meier's Civilization VI
- Sid Meier's Railroads!
- Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (EPIC)
- Silver Chains
- SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
- Sinking Island
- SINNER: Sacrifice for Redemption
- Skautfold Chapters 1-4
- Skullgirls 2nd Encore
- Slain: Back from Hell
- Slap City
- Slash It
- Slash It 2
- Slash It Ultimate
- Slay the Spire
- Slaycation Paradise
- Small World
- Smart Factory Tycoon
- Smile For Me
- Smoke and Sacrifice
- Smoke and Sacrifice
- Smushi Come Home
- Snail bob 2 tiny troubles
- Sniper Elite 3
- Sniper Elite 3 + Season Pass DLC
- Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
- Sniper Ghost Warrior 3 - Season Pass Edition
- Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
- Snooker 19
- SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
- Songs of Conquest
- Sonic Adventure 2
- Sonic Adventure DX
- Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
- Sonic Generations Collection
- Soulblight
- Souldiers
- SOULSTICE
- Soundfall
- Source of Madness
- Spartan Fist
- Spec Ops
- Speed Limit
- Spelunx and the Caves of Mr. Seudo
- Spidersaurs
- Spin Rush
- Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
- Spirit of the Island
- Spirit of the North
- Spring Bonus
- Stairs
- STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic
- STAR WARS - The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
- STAR WARS Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
- Star Wolves
- Starsand
- STASIS: Bone Totem
- State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
- Steel Rats™
- Stick Fight: The Game
- Still Life
- Still Life 2
- Stirring Abyss
- STONE
- Strange Brigade
- Strange Brigade Deluxe Edition
- STRANGER
- Strategic Command: World War I
- Strategic Mind: Blitzkrieg
- Strategic Mind: Fight for Freedom
- Strategic Mind: Spectre of Communism
- Strategic Mind: Spirit of Liberty
- Strategy & Tactics: Wargame Collection
- Streamer Life Simulator
- Street Fighter V
- Street of fury ex
- Strider
- Strikey Sisters
- Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
- Styx: Master of Shadows
- Styx: Shards of Darkness
- SuchArt
- Sudden Strike Gold
- Suite 776
- Sumoman
- Sunblaze
- SUNLESS BUNDLE
- Sunset Overdrive
- Super Buff HD
- Super Mag Bot
- Superbugs: Awaken
- Superhot
- Surgeon Simulator 2
- Survive the Nights
- Surviving Mars
- Surviving The Aftermath
- Swag and Sorcery
- Sword Legacy Omen
- Sword of the Necromancer
- Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
- Syberia 3
- Symphonic Rain
- Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
- Synthwave Dream '85
- Tacoma
- Take Off - The Flight Simulator
- Tales
- Tales from the Borderlands
- Tales of Vesperia™: Definitive Edition
- Talk to Strangers
- Tallowmere
- Tangledeep
- Tank Mechanic Simulator
- Tannenberg
- Team Sonic Racing
- TEKKEN 7
- TEMTEM
- Terminus: Zombie Survivors
- Terror of Hemasaurus
- Textorcist
- Tharsis
- The Adventure Pals
- The Amazing American Circus
- The Anacrusis
- The Ascent
- The Battle of Polytopia
- The Battle of Polytopia *DLC1. Cymanti Tribe *DLC2. ∑∫ỹriȱŋ Tribe *DLC3. Aquarion Tribe *DLC4. Polaris Tribe
- The Blackout Club
- The Chess Variants Club
- The Citadel
- The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
- THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
- The Darkest Tales
- The Dungeon Beneath
- The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos
- The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
- The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind® Game of the Year Edition
- The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion® Game of the Year Edition
- The Elder Scrolls Online
- The Escapists 2
- THE GAME OF LIFE 2
- The Golf Club™ 2019 featuring PGA TOUR
- THE GUNK
- The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
- The Hong Kong Massacre
- The Horror Of Salazar House
- The Indie Mixtape
- The Innsmouth Case
- The Invisible Hours
- The Jackbox Party Pack 9
- The Last Campfire
- The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame
- The Letter - Horror Visual Novel
- The Long Dark
- The Manhole: Masterpiece Edition
- The Mortuary Assistant
- The Mummy Demastered
- The Outer Worlds
- THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
- THE PALE BEYOND
- The Quarry
- The Quarry deluxe
- The Ramp
- The Red Lantern
- The Rewinder
- The Sacred Tears TRUE
- The Sexy Brutale
- The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
- The Tarnishing of Juxtia
- The Tenants
- The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
- THE UNCERTAIN: LAST QUIET DAY
- The Uncertain: Light At The End
- The USB Stick Found in the Grass
- The Walking Dead
- The Walking Dead - 400 Days
- The Walking Dead Saints and Sinners
- The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
- The Walking Dead: Final Season
- The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
- The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
- The Walking Dead: Season 1
- The Walking Dead: Season Two
- The Way
- The Wild At Heart
- The Wild Eight
- The Witness
- Them and Us
- They Bleed Pixels
- Thief of Thieves
- This War of Mine
- This Way Madness Lies
- Three Kingdom: The Journey
- Time on Frog Island
- Tinkertown
- Tiny Tina’s Wonderland(EU)
- TINY TINA'S WONDERLANDS CHAOTIC GREAT EDITION
- Tiny Troopers
- Tinykin
- Tinytopia
- TIS-100
- Titan Quest
- Tokyo Xanadu eX+
- Tools up
- Tooth and Tail
- Torchlight
- Total Tank Simulator
- Tour de France 2020
- Tower Unite
- Trailblazers
- Train Sim World 3: Standard Edition
- Train Simulator Classic
- Train Valley 1
- Transport INC
- Treasure Hunter Simulator
- TRIBES OF MIDGARD
- Trine 4
- Trinity Fusion
- Trombone Champ
- Tropico 5 - Complete Collection
- Trover Saves the Universe
- Tunche
- Turmoil
- Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
- Twin Mirror
- Two Point Campus
- Two Point Hospital
- TYPECAST
- Tyrant's Blessing
- Ultimate Chicken Horse
- Ultimate Zombie Defense
- Ultra Space Battle Brawl
- Unavowed
- Undead Horde
- Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
- Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
- Universim
- UNLOVED
- Unpacking
- Until I have you
- Unto The End
- Upside Down
- URU: Complete Chronicles
- Vagante
- Valfaris
- Valfaris: Mecha Therion
- Valkryia Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
- Valkyria Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
- Valkyria Chronicles 4: Complete Edition
- Vambrace: Cold Soul
- Vampire Survivors
- Vectronom
- Velocity Noodle
- Venba
- Verne: The Shape of Fantasy
- Victoria 3
- Victoria II
- Viking: Battle For Asgard
- Virgo Versus The Zodiac
- VirtuaVerse
- Visage
- Viscerafest
- Void Bastards
- VOIDIGO
- Volcanoids
- Voltage High Society
- V-Rally 4
- Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG)
- Wargroove
- Warhammer 40,000 Sanctus Reach - Complete Edition
- Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon - Imperium Complete
- Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
- Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
- Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
- Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf Special Edition
- WARHAMMER AGE OF SIGMAR: REALMS OF RUIN – ULTIMATE EDITION
- Warhammer vermintide collector's edition
- Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
- Warhammer: Vermintide 2
- Warman
- Wasteland 3
- Wayward
- WE NEED TO GO DEEPER
- We should talk.
- We Were Here Together
- We Were Here Too
- Webbed
- What Lies in the Multiverse
- When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
- while True: learn()
- Whos Your daddy
- Wick
- Will You Snail?
- Windward
- Witch It
- Witchy Life Story
- wizard of legends
- Wolfenstein 3D
- Worms Rumble
- WRC 6 FIA World Rally Championship
- WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
- WWE 2K Battlegrounds
- WWE 2K23
- WWZ Aftermath
- Wytchwood
- X-COM: COMPLETE PACK
- XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
- XIII - Classic
- X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
- X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
- Yakuza Kiwami
- Yumeutsutsu Re:After
- Yumeutsutsu Re:Master
- Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
- Ziggurat
- Zombie Army 4
- Zombie Army Trilogy
- Zool Redimensioned
- For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
- Train Simulator: Isle of Wight Route Add-On
- Train Simulator: Woodhead Electric Railway in Blue Route Add-On
- Train Simulator: North Somerset Railway Route Add-On
- Train Simulator: Union Pacific Heritage SD70ACes Loco Add-On
- Train Simulator: London to Brighton Route Add-On
- BR Class 170 'Turbostar' DMU Add-On
- DB BR 648 Loco Add-On
- Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
- Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
- Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
- Grand Central Class 180 'Adelante' DMU Add-On
- Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - Gilroy Route Add-On
- SONIC ADVENTURE 2: BATTLE
- Small World - A Spider's Web
- Small World - Cursed
- Small World - Royal Bonus
- The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - Goodies Pack
- The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - OST
- Thompson Class B1 Loco Add-On
- Total War: Shogun 2 - Rise of the Samurai
- Train Sim World® 3: Birmingham Cross-city line
- Train Sim World®: BR Class 20 'Chopper' Loco
- Train Sim World®: Brighton Main Line: London Victoria - Brighton
- Train Sim World®: Caltrain MP36PH-3C 'Baby Bullet'
- Train Sim World®: Cathcart Circle Line: Glasgow - Newton & Neilston
- Train Sim World®: Clinchfield Railroad: Elkhorn - Dante
- Train Sim World®: Great Western Express
- Train Sim World®: Hauptstrecke Hamburg - Lubeck
- Train Sim World®: LIRR M3 EMU
- Train Sim World®: Long Island Rail Road: New York - Hicksville
- Train Sim World®: Nahverkehr Dresden - Riesa
- Train Sim World®: Northern Trans-Pennine: Manchester - Leeds
- Train Sim World®: Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - San Jose
- Train Sim World®: Rhein-Ruhr Osten: Wuppertal - Hagen
- Train Sim World®: Tees Valley Line: Darlington - Saltburn-by-the-sea
- Worms Rumble - Armageddon Weapon Skin Pack
- Worms Rumble - Captain & Shark Double Pack
- Worms Rumble - Legends Pack
- Worms Rumble - New Challengers Pack
- Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
- Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
- Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
- Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
- GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
- GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
- GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
- GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
- GameGuru
- GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
- Intro to Game Development with Unity
- Music Maker EDM Edition
- Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford
- Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Dark Dreams of Furiae
- Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Tyrants of the Moonsea
- Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
- Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons
- Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast
- Neverwinter Nights: Wyvern Crown of Cormyr
- PDF-Suite 1 Year License
- Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
- RPG Maker VX
- WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS - Ultimate Brawlers Pass
- We Are Alright
- The Outer Worlds Expansion Pass
- A Hat in Time - Seal the Deal DLC
- City Skylines:mass transit
- A Game Of Thrones - A Dance With Dragons
- A Game Of Thrones - A Feast For Crows
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Gods of Asgard
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mythical Monsters
- Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mystics of Midgard
- Carcassonne - The Princess and The Dragon DLC
- Carcassonne - Traders & Builders DLC
- Carcassonne - Winter & Gingerbread Man DLC
- Carcassonne - Inns & Cathedrals
- Carcassonne - The River
- Splendor: The Trading Posts DLC
- Splendor: The Strongholds DLC
- Splendor: The Cities DLC
- Small World - Be Not Afraid... DLC
- Small World - Grand Dames DLC
- Small World - Cursed!
- Sands of Salzaar - The Ember Saga
- Sands of Salzaar - The Tournament
- Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
- WARSAW
2024.05.14 15:37 turtlemari [online][flexible] Highly engaged and committed roleplayer looking for a new adventure
Well met, friends!
I'm a small fish in a sea of amazing players hoping to find a group of likeminded people to play with! I'm 27F, with about 5 years of TTRPG experience and 10 years roleplay in general. I have reached a point as a player where I don't see TTRPGs as just a casual hobby, but as a special experience that can only be reached though the labour of love, commitment and collective interest of everyone at the table. And I'm hoping for a group that shares in this mindset.
What I can offer:
- Flexibility and commitment: I respect everyone's time and I'm confident that I will not be late to or miss sessions. My availability is mostly in the BST timezone, but I am able and willing to commit to playing late for the right group.
- High dedication and immersion: I am a creative player with a passion for writing. I make in-depth characters with compelling backstories who are well-established in the world they live in. In game, I'm an experienced roleplayer with an immersive and emotionally engaged playstyle, who invests in the DM's world, NPCs and fellow players.
- Proactiveness: I will make a character who has reasons to be involved with the story and world and who never says no to adventure.
- Collaboration: I have a track record of playing support/ supportive characters and I would love a party that is close-knit and can emotionally invest in each other. I am a firm believer in equal sharing of spotlight and I respect/ am supportive when it's someone's turn to take the stage.
- Art: I love TTRPGS and I love drawing pcs/npcs or meaningful/funny scenes from sessions.
- Openness to various systems: I have a preference for fantasy settings and magic to some degree. Depending on the system, I ask for patience from the group while I learn the rules.
- Voice available and video if required. I am willing to learn any (free) VTT.
What I'm looking for:
- Players & DM over 18y/o
- Kindness and Inclusivity: LGBTQ friendly! Racism/ homophobia not tolerated. No antagonism or personal favouritisms by the DM, no outcasting or bullying by the players.
- Active communication: Hoping to play with open and emotionally mature people, who are not afraid to discuss and settle any problems that might occur in and out of game.
- Availability and consistency: A group that looks forward to the game and playing together every week, as opposed to those who only play when they have nothing else better to do. I am hoping for stable schedules, and cancellations rare and notified in advance where possible.
- Group: A smaller number (3-5) of proactive and collaborative people who are comfortable with roleplay and becoming their character. Who are able to immerse themselves in the story and invest in each other.
- A game that is taken seriously: The story itself doesn't have to be serious at all times, but I prefer not to play with joke/meme characters, or those that are only defined by annoying quirks.
- Immersive play: A living, breathing world, and players who can remain in character for the majority of the session.
- Roleplay heavy: A narrative game ran by a DM who encourages player creativity and engagement. A compelling story with intrigue, exploration, interesting foes and meaningful combat, where player agency and choices matter.
At the moment I am not looking for:
- Streamed campaigns/ podcasts, PBP (play by post), West marches, paid games, heavy combat- focused games or magic-less settings
- Groups with 6 or more players
- Well-established groups of long term friends (had to specifically add this due to previous bad experiences)
Thank you for being with me so far! I know I'm asking for a lot, but in return I guarantee you someone who will deeply invest in your world, keep detailed notes, come up with creative solutions, draw cool art, write rhymes and songs, and much more! I will respect your time and hard work, and will try my very best to reward it by being a good player and ensuring that you have as much fun as I am!If you are a DM who has similar wants and expectations, please send me a message with a little bit about yourself, your campaign /players and availability and we can take it from there!
2024.05.14 15:04 loveshackbaby420 Why does playing annoy me I hate myself for it
My 2.5 y/o kid literally will not play alone some days. Today is one of them. I am so effing sick, 6 months pregnant w a fever. trying to drink my honey lemon water and suffer on the couch quietly and my sweet little girl keeps shoving her toys in my hand and saying "Can you hold Peppa so she can talk?" "Can you hold Daddy shark so he can talk?" They must come to life only in my hands!! So I have been playing with her for over a hour now and then I just said no, please can you play alone for a bit so mommy can sip her lemon water and rest bc she is not feeling good. And she flipped out and now throwing tantrum on me. First anger and the now she said "I guess playtime is over forever" and bawled 😭😭😭 all the parenting advice says "fill their cup then leave to independent play" but for line its never enough. 5 mins or 5 hours there is no difference.
If I get forced into play when I really don't want to I find myself so annoyed on a deep level. And then consumed by guilt bc why am I like this? And then I will cave and put a screen on for her bc its the only thing that will give me solace and have her attention off me for 5 mins. Then I feel guilt in that. Its a cycle that I feel trapped in some days and I really hate it. I love my child but I find playing with her toys incredibly not enjoyable and I just need her to play independently more. I especially worry about this cycle when new baby gets here and mama has no choice and can't play bc of baby needs I don't want to deal w these tantrum while I have a newborn here too. 😭😭
Any advice on how to get her to be less attached to me. I literally spend my entire waking life being with my child so she is not starved for attention I dote on her and shower her with love. I'd say I spend hours on 1-1 connection, play time where my focus is on her or we are doing crafts etc together.
submitted by loveshackbaby420 to Parenting [link] [comments]
If I get forced into play when I really don't want to I find myself so annoyed on a deep level. And then consumed by guilt bc why am I like this? And then I will cave and put a screen on for her bc its the only thing that will give me solace and have her attention off me for 5 mins. Then I feel guilt in that. Its a cycle that I feel trapped in some days and I really hate it. I love my child but I find playing with her toys incredibly not enjoyable and I just need her to play independently more. I especially worry about this cycle when new baby gets here and mama has no choice and can't play bc of baby needs I don't want to deal w these tantrum while I have a newborn here too. 😭😭
Any advice on how to get her to be less attached to me. I literally spend my entire waking life being with my child so she is not starved for attention I dote on her and shower her with love. I'd say I spend hours on 1-1 connection, play time where my focus is on her or we are doing crafts etc together.
2024.05.14 14:27 robitstudios [USA-NY] [H] DS Lite, Sega Saturn console (w/ODE), Games for Switch, PS4/5, Vita, 3DS, SNES [W] Switch, SNES, TG16 games and more, LEGO sets + offers
Trades only - no sales.
I have a huge wanted list below but will look at offers/lists. I'm also interested in merch/magazines/books from Castlevania, Bubble Bobble/Rainbow Islands, Earthbound/Mother, PacMan series.
I'm would also trade for LEGO sets.
Have Consoles/Handhelds (photos of handhelds):
submitted by robitstudios to gameswap [link] [comments]
I have a huge wanted list below but will look at offers/lists. I'm also interested in merch/magazines/books from Castlevania, Bubble Bobble/Rainbow Islands, Earthbound/Mother, PacMan series.
I'm would also trade for LEGO sets.
Have Consoles/Handhelds (photos of handhelds):
- Sega Saturn Console (Black, Model 1, VA0)
- w/ Fenrir ODE (CD drive has been removed but can be included - but it doesn't work)
- SD Card with Fenrir software, some games included
- Action Replay
- Retrovision YPbPr Component Cable
- RGB Scart Cable
- 3D Control Pad
- Wireless Bluetooth Controller + Receiver
- Nintendo DS Lite (Black)
- Fallout 4 Pip-Boy Model 3000 (Limited Edition with carrying case) & Game (PS4)
Have Games:
| Game | System | Condition |
|---|---|---|
| A Robot Named Fight | Switch | New |
| A Magical High-School Girl | Switch | New |
| Agatha Christie - Hercule Poirot: The London Case | Switch | New |
| Akiba's Trip: Hellbound & Debriefed [10th Anniversary Edition] | Switch | CIB |
| American Hero | Switch | New |
| Astro Aqua Kitty Pawsome Collection | Switch | New |
| Battle Axe | Switch | CIB |
| Button Button Up! | Switch | New |
| Carrion | Switch | New |
| Cotton REBOOT | Switch | New |
| Cotton Rock N Roll [Japan] | Switch | CIB |
| Dead Cells | Switch | Case + Cart (No art-book) |
| Dead Cells [Prisoners Edition] | Switch | New |
| Demon Throttle | Switch | CIB |
| DoDonPachi Resurrection | Switch | CIB |
| Elliot Quest | Switch | CIB |
| Fresh Start | Switch | SIB |
| For the King (PEGI) | Switch | CIB |
| Koumajou Remilia Scarlet Symphony [Japan] | Switch | CIB |
| My Time at Sandrock | Switch | SIB |
| Minenko's Night Market | Switch | SIB |
| Narita Boy | Switch | CIB |
| Ninja Jajamaru Collection [Japan] | Switch | CIB |
| Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath HD | Switch | New |
| Our World is Ended [Day 1 Edition] | Switch | CIB |
| RPGolf Legends | Switch | CIB |
| Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator | Switch | CIB |
| Stellar Interface | Switch | New |
| Train Valley Collection | Switch | New |
| Where the Water Tastes like Wine [Collector's Edition] | Switch | New |
| Zengeon | Switch | New |
| Flashback (Steelbook only) | Switch | Steelbook Only - No game |
| Game | System | Condition |
|---|---|---|
| Cosmic Star Heroine | Vita | New |
| Axiom Verge Multiverse Edition | Vita | New |
| Aqua Kitty DX | Vita | New |
| Atari Flashback Classics | Vita | CIB |
| Axiom Verge Multiverse Edition | Vita | New |
| Guacamelee | Vita | CIB |
| Iconoclasts | Vita | CIB |
| La-Mulana EX | Vita | New |
| Mutant Mudds Deluxe | Vita | New |
| Mutant Mudds Super Challenge | Vita | New |
| NeuroVoider | Vita | New |
| Oceanhorn | Vita | New |
| Penny Punching Princess | Vita | CIB |
| Risk of Rain | Vita | New |
| Shakedown Hawaii | Vita | New |
| Skullgirls 2nd Encore | Vita | New |
| Game | System | Condition |
|---|---|---|
| 8 Doors Arium's Afterlife Adventure | PS4 | New |
| Afterimage: Deluxe Edition | PS4 | New |
| Afterparty | PS4 | New |
| Aggelos | PS4 | New |
| Airoheart | PS4 | CIB |
| Akai Katana Shin | PS4 | New |
| Alchemic Cutie | PS4 | New |
| Aliens Dark Descent | PS4 | New |
| American Hero | PS4 | New |
| Ambition Record | PS4 | New |
| Another Crusade | PS4 | New |
| Arcade Paradise | PS4 | New |
| Armello Special Edition | PS4 | New |
| Atari Recharged Collection 1 | PS4 | New |
| Atari Recharged Collection 2 | PS4 | New |
| Atari Mania | PS4 | New |
| Beholder 3 | PS4 | New |
| Bill & Ted's Excellent Retro Collection | PS4 | New |
| Bit.Trip Presents Runner2 | PS4 | CIB |
| Blade Assault | PS4 | New |
| Crash Team Rumble | PS4 | New |
| Crisis Wing | PS4 | New |
| Church in the Darkness | PS4 | New |
| Danmaku Unlimited 3 | PS4 | New |
| Dissidia Final Fantasy NT: SteelBook Brawler Edition | PS4 | New |
| Don't Starve Mega Pack | PS4 | CIB |
| Dragon Prana | PS4 | New |
| Dragon Sinker Descendents of Legend | PS4 | CIB |
| Elder Scrolls Online: Summerset | PS4 | CIB |
| Embers of Mirrim | PS4 | New |
| Ender Lilies Quietus Of The Knights | PS4 | New |
| Evernights | PS4 | New |
| Exoprimal | PS4 | New |
| Fallout 4 | PS4 | CIB |
| Flashback | PS4 | CIB |
| Gal Guardians: Demon Purge | PS4 | New |
| Ghost Song | PS4 | New |
| Gimmick Special Edition | PS4 | New |
| Gleylancer & Gynoug Combo Pack | PS4 | New |
| God of Rock | PS4 | New |
| Grim Fandango Remastered | PS4 | CIB |
| GrimGrimoire OnceMore [Deluxe Edition] | PS4 | New |
| Island Flight Simulator | PS4 | New |
| Just Dance 2019 | PS4 | New |
| Just Deal with It | PS4 | CIB |
| Kero Blaster | PS4 | New |
| La Mulana 2 [Hidden Treasures Edition] | PS4 | New |
| Lord Of The Rings: Gollum | PS4 | New |
| MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries | PS4 | New |
| Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection | PS4 | New |
| Mercanaries Blaze Dawn of the Twin Dragons | PS4 | New |
| Metal Tales Overkill | PS4 | New |
| Minecraft Legends [Deluxe Edition] | PS4 | New |
| Minoria | PS4 | New |
| Mitsurugi Kamui Hikae | PS4 | CIB |
| Moonlighter | PS4 | New |
| Narcosis | PS4 | CIB |
| Noob The Factionless | PS4 | New |
| Overrogue | PS4 | New |
| ONI: Road To Be The Mightiest Oni | PS4 | New |
| Paradise Killer | PS4 | New |
| Pong Quest | PS4 | New |
| Psikyo Shooting Library Vol. 1 | PS4 | New |
| PsychoNauts 2 [Motherlobe Edition] | PS4 | New |
| Raiden III x MIKADO MANIAX | PS4 | New |
| Rainbow Billy - The Curse Of The Leviathan | PS4 | New |
| Rock Band 4 | PS4 | CIB |
| Roller Coaster Tycoon Adventures Deluxe | PS4 | New |
| Saturnalia | PS4 | New |
| Shadow Warrior [Definitve Edition] | PS4 | New |
| Shantae | PS4 | New |
| Siralim 2 | PS4 | New |
| Skelattack | PS4 | New |
| SOL CRESTA Dramatic Edition | PS4 | CIB |
| Song of Memories | PS4 | CIB |
| Star Ocean The Second Story R | PS4 | New |
| Tchia: Oleti Edition | PS4 | New |
| The Last Spell | PS4 | New |
| The Sorrowvirus | PS4 | New |
| The Witch Knight [Deluxe Edition] | PS4 | New |
| Tiger Heli Toaplan Arcade Garage | PS4 | New |
| To The Top | PS4 | CIB |
| Trek to Yoki | PS4 | New |
| Trip World DX | PS4 | New |
| Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion | PS4 | New |
| Under The Waves | PS4 | New |
| Vengeful Guardian Moonrider | PS4 | New |
| Wanted: Dead | PS4 | New |
| Warhammer 40K: Inquisitor - Martyr | PS4 | New |
| Wordhunters | PS4 | CIB |
| Wytchwood | PS4 | New |
| Ys: Memories of Celceta | PS4 | New |
| Game | System | Condition |
|---|---|---|
| 8Doors: Arum's Afterlife Adventure | PS5 | New |
| A Boy and His Blob Retro Collection | PS5 | New |
| Afterimage [Deluxe Edition] | PS5 | New |
| Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot | PS5 | New |
| Alex Kidd In Miracle World DX | PS5 | New |
| Anodyne 2 Return to Dust | PS5 | New |
| Astro Aqua Kitty | PS5 | New |
| Atari Recharged Collection 3 | PS5 | New |
| Buddy Simulator 1984 | PS5 | New |
| Dead Island 2 [Day One Edition] | PS5 | New |
| Demon Gaze Extra [Day One Edition] | PS5 | New |
| Eiyuden Chronicle Rising | PS5 | New |
| Fantavision 202X | PS5 | New |
| Gale of Windoria | PS5 | New |
| God Of Rock | PS5 | New |
| Goodbye World | PS5 | New |
| Granblue Fantasy Relink Deluxe Edition | PS5 | New |
| Greyhill Incident [Abducted Edition] | PS5 | New |
| HITMAN: World of Assassination | PS5 | New |
| Killer Frequency | PS5 | New |
| LEGO 2K Drive | PS5 | New |
| Mon-Yu | PS5 | New |
| My Time at Sandrock | PS5 | New |
| Noob The Factionless | PS5 | New |
| Raiden III x MIKADO MANIAX | PS5 | New |
| Shadowrun Trilogy | PS5 | New |
| Shantae | PS5 | New |
| Song In The Smoke Rekindled | PS5 | New |
| Sonic Frontiers | PS5 | New |
| Spells and Secrets | PS5 | New |
| Starsand | PS5 | New |
| Super Bomberman R 2 | PS5 | New |
| Synth Riders [Remastered Edition] | PS5 | New |
| The Artful Escape | PS5 | New |
| The Forest Cathedral | PS5 | New |
| The Invincible | PS5 | New |
| The Last Worker | PS5 | New |
| The Legend of Legacy HD Remastered - Deluxe Edition | PS5 | New |
| The Talos Principle 2 | PS5 | New |
| This Way Madness Lies | PS5 | New |
| Tiny Troopers Global Ops | PS5 | New |
| TOEM | PS5 | New |
| Transport Fever 2 Console Edition | PS5 | New |
| Game | System | Condition |
|---|---|---|
| Fragrant Story | 3DS | CIB |
| Cartoon Network Battle Crashers | 3DS | CIB |
| Game | System | Condition |
|---|---|---|
| Street Combat | SNES | Loose |
Wanted:
| Airoheart | Switch |
| Afterimage | Switch |
| Aeterna Noctis | Switch |
| Castle Crashers | Switch |
| Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX | Switch |
| Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX 2 | Switch |
| Cult of the Lamb | Switch |
| Dredge | Switch |
| Pikmin 1 + 2 | Switch |
| Pikmin 4 | Switch |
| Return to Monkey Island | Switch |
| Star Ocean The Second Story R | Switch |
| Sea of Stars | Switch |
| Neon Abyss | Switch |
| Prince of Persia The Lost Crown | Switch |
| Stellar Wanderer DX | Switch |
| Kirby’s Return to Dream Land™ Deluxe | Switch |
| Sonic Origins | Switch |
| Sonic Superstars | Switch |
| TMNT Shredder's Revenge Anniversary Edition | Switch |
| The Legend of Steel Empire | |
| Switch | |
| Trouble Witches Final! Episode 01 | Switch |
| Vagante | Switch |
| Overdriven Evolution | Switch |
| Revita | Switch |
| INSCRYPTION | Switch |
| Retro City Rampage DX | Switch |
| Xenoblade Chronicles 2 | Switch |
| Xenoblade Chronicles 3 | Switch |
| Wytchwood | Switch |
| Lumines Electronic Symphony | Vita |
| Knytt Underground | Vita |
| Nanostray | DS |
| Nanostray 2 | DS |
| Etrian Odyssey | DS |
| River King Mystic Valley | DS |
| Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow (BOX ONLY) | DS |
| Final Fantasy IV | DS |
| Ys 1 & II | DS |
| Famicom Disk System (Drive and cartridge adapter) | Famicom |
| Rainbow Islands | NES |
| Bubble Bobble Part 2 | NES |
| Over Horizon | NES |
| Little Samson | NES |
| Fester's Quest [PAL] | NES |
| Guardian Legend | NES |
| Chack'n Pop | NES |
| Sqoon | NES |
| Castlevania 3 | Famicom |
| Insector X | Famicom |
| Dig Dug | Game Boy |
| Aerostar | Game Boy |
| Atomic Punk | Game Boy |
| Gradius Interstellar Assault | Game Boy |
| Bonk's Revenge | Game Boy |
| GB Gengin Land [Japan] | Game Boy |
| Genjin Collection [Japan] | Game Boy |
| Blaster Master Boy | Game Boy |
| Parasol Stars | Game Boy |
| Felix the Cat | Game Boy |
| Trax | Game Boy |
| Mega Man 4 | Game Boy |
| Mega Man 5 | Game Boy |
| Momotarou Dengeki Thunderbolt [Japan] | Game Boy |
| Momotarou Dengeki Thunderbolt 2 [Japan] | Game Boy |
| Parodius Da! [Japan] | Game Boy |
| Pokemon Silver | Game Boy |
| Mole Mania | Game Boy |
| Operation C | Game Boy |
| Snow Brothers | Game Boy |
| Sneaky Snakes | Game Boy |
| Great Greed | Game Boy |
| Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break | Game Boy |
| Rescue Of Princess Blobette | Game Boy |
| The Battle of Olympus | Game Boy |
| Sagaia [Japan] | Game Boy |
| Rod Land | Game Boy |
| Bubble Bobble Part 2 | Game Boy |
| Knight's Quest | Game Boy |
| Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon | Game Boy |
| Sword of Hope | Game Boy |
| Sword of Hope II | Game Boy |
| Tetris Plus | Game Boy |
| Dragon Warrior Monsters II: Tara's Adventure | Game Boy Color |
| Lufia: The Legend Returns | Game Boy Color |
| MegaMan Xtreme 2 | Game Boy Color |
| Revelations: The Demon Slayer | Game Boy Color |
| Bubble Bobble Old and New | Game Boy Advance |
| Fire Emblem | Game Boy Advance |
| Shining Soul | Game Boy Advance |
| Shining Soul 2 | Game Boy Advance |
| Lufia: The Ruins of Lore | Game Boy Advance |
| Klonoa | Game Boy Advance |
| Summon Night Swordcraft Story | Game Boy Advance |
| Summon Night Swordcraft Story 2 | Game Boy Advance |
| Ninja Five-O | Game Boy Advance |
| Sigma Star Saga | Game Boy Advance |
| Shaman King - Master of Spirits | Game Boy Advance |
| Shaman King - Master of Spirit 2 | Game Boy Advance |
| Advance Wars | Game Boy Advance |
| The Adventure of Little Ralph [Japan] | PS1 |
| Wonder Trek [Japan] | PS1 |
| Harmful Park [Japan] | PS1 |
| Tomba | PS1 |
| Final Fantasy 9 | PS1 |
| Wild Arms | PS1 |
| Dragon Quest VII | PS1 |
| SaGa Frontier II | PS1 |
| Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete | PS1 |
| Mega Man Legends | PS1 |
| Mega Man Legends 2 | PS1 |
| R-type Delta | PS1 |
| Thunder Force V - Perfect System | PS1 |
| The Misadventures of Tron Bonne | PS1 |
| Klonoa: Door to Phantomile | PS1 |
| Parrapa The Rapper | PS1 |
| Darius Gaiden | PS1 |
| Taito Legends | PS2 |
| Taito Legends 2 | PS2 |
| Alexay | SNES |
| Brandish | SNES |
| The Legend of the Mystical Ninja | SNES |
| Lufia & the Fortress of Doom | SNES |
| Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals | SNES |
| Dracula X | SNES |
| The Firemen [PAL] | SNES |
| Kirby Superstar | SNES |
| Kirby's Dreamcourse | SNES |
| Kirby's Dreamland 3 | SNES |
| Brainlord | SNES |
| Parodius [PAL] | SNES |
| Skyblazer | SNES |
| R-Type III | SNES |
| Soul blazer | SNES |
| Star fox | SNES |
| The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang | SNES |
| Terranigma | SNES |
| Dragon View | SNES |
| EVO Search for Eden | SNES |
| Super Aleste (Space MegaForce) | SNES |
| Dragon Crystal | Game Gear |
| Aerial Assault | Game Gear |
| Aleste | Game Gear |
| Aleste 2 (Power Strike II) | Game Gear |
| Golvellius | Master System |
| Aerial Assault | Master System |
| Bubble Bobble | Master System |
| Rainbow Islands | Master System |
| Sagaia | Master System |
| Gulkave | Master System |
| Transbot | Master System |
| Psychic World | Master System |
| Sagaia | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Rainbow Islands Extra | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Bio-Hazard Battle | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Lightening Force: Quest for the Darkstar | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Thunder Force 2 | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Thunder Force 3 | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Hellfire | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Zero Wing | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Gaiares | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Chiki Chiki Boys | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Operation Code:Vapor Trail | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Fatal Labrynth | Genesis/Mega Drive |
| Aldynes | TG16 |
| Air Zonk | TG16 |
| Neutopia | TG16 |
| Neutopia 2 | TG16 |
| Dead Moon | TG16 |
| 1941 | TG16 |
| Momotaro Katsugeki | TG16 |
| Download | TG16 |
| Final Soldier | TG16 |
| Aero Blasters | TG16 |
| Hana Taaka Daka | TG16 |
| Truxton (Tatsujin) | TG16 |
| Salamander | TG16 |
| Override | TG16 |
| R-Type [HuCard] | TG16 |
| Raiden | TG16 |
| Cloud Master | TG16 |
| Burning Angels | TG16 |
| Coryoon | TG16 |
| Magical Chase | TG16 |
| Mr Heli | TG16 |
| Bouken Danshaku Dan The Lost Sunheart | TG16 |
| Castlevania: Rondo of Blood | TG16 CD |
| Rainbow Islands | TG16 CD |
| Super Darius II | TG16 CD |
| Psychic Storm | TG16 CD |
| Download 2 | TG16 CD |
| Gradius 2 | TG16 CD |
| Terraforming | TG16 CD |
| Star Parodia | TG16 CD |
| Rayxanber II | TG16 CD |
| Rayxanber III | TG16 CD |
| Legion | TG16 CD |
| Super Raiden | TG16 CD |
| Metamor Jupiter | TG16 CD |
| Sylphia | TG16 CD |
| Sapphire | TG16 CD |
| Nexzr | TG16 CD |
| Cho Aniki | TG16 CD |
| Zero Wing | TG16 CD |
| Hellfire | TG16 CD |
2024.05.14 14:01 Zappingsbrew A post talking about 400 words
abandon, ability, able, about, above, absence, absolute, absolutely, abstract, abundance, academy, accent, accept, access, accident, accompany, accomplish, according, account, accurate, achieve, achievement, acid, acknowledge, acquire, across, action, active, activity, actor, actual, actually, adapt, addition, additional, address, adequate, adjust, administration, admire, admission, admit, adolescent, adopt, adult, advance, advantage, adventure, advertise, advice, advise, adviser, advocate, affair, affect, afford, afraid, after, afternoon, again, against, age, agency, agenda, agent, aggressive, ago, agree, agreement, agriculture, ahead, aid, aim, air, aircraft, airline, airport, alarm, album, alcohol, alive, all, alliance, allow, ally, almost, alone, along, already, also, alter, alternative, although, always, amateur, amazing, ambition, ambulance, among, amount, analysis, analyst, analyze, ancient, and, anger, angle, angry, animal, anniversary, announce, annual, another, answer, 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campaign, campus, can, Canadian, cancer, candidate, cap, capability, capable, capacity, capital, captain, capture, car, carbon, card, care, career, careful, carefully, carrier, carry, case, cash, cast, cat, catch, category, Catholic, cause, ceiling, celebrate, celebration, celebrity, cell, center, central, century, CEO, ceremony, certain, certainly, chain, chair, chairman, challenge, chamber, champion, championship, chance, change, changing, channel, chapter, character, characteristic, characterize, charge, charity, chart, chase, cheap, check, cheek, cheese, chef, chemical, chest, chicken, chief, child, childhood, Chinese, chip, chocolate, choice, cholesterol, choose, Christian, Christmas, church, cigarette, circle, circumstance, cite, citizen, city, civil, civilian, claim, class, classic, classroom, clean, clear, clearly, client, climate, climb, clinic, clinical, clock, close, closely, closer, clothes, clothing, cloud, club, clue, cluster, coach, coal, coalition, coast, coat, code, coffee, cognitive, cold, collapse, colleague, collect, collection, collective, college, colonial, color, column, combination, combine, come, comedy, comfort, comfortable, command, commander, comment, commercial, commission, commit, commitment, committee, common, communicate, communication, community, company, compare, comparison, compete, competition, competitive, competitor, complain, complaint, complete, completely, complex, complexity, compliance, complicate, complicated, component, compose, composition, comprehensive, computer, concentrate, concentration, concept, concern, concerned, concert, conclude, conclusion, concrete, condition, conduct, conference, confidence, confident, confirm, conflict, confront, confusion, Congress, congressional, connect, connection, consciousness, consensus, consequence, conservative, consider, considerable, consideration, consist, consistent, constant, constantly, constitute, constitutional, construct, construction, consultant, consume, consumer, 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decline, decrease, deep, deeply, deer, defeat, defend, defendant, defense, defensive, deficit, define, definitely, definition, degree, delay, deliver, delivery, demand, democracy, Democratic, Democrat, demonstrate, demonstration, deny, department, depend, dependent, depending, depict, depression, depth, deputy, derive, describe, description, desert, deserve, design, designer, desire, desk, desperate, despite, destroy, destruction, detail, detailed, detect, detection, detective, determine, develop, developing, development, device, devil, dialogue, diet, differ, difference, different, differently, difficult, difficulty, dig, digital, dimension, dining, dinner, direct, direction, directly, director, dirt, disability, disagree, disappear, disaster, discipline, disclose, discover, discovery, discrimination, discuss, discussion, disease, dish, dismiss, disorder, display, dispute, distance, distinct, distinction, distinguish, distribute, distribution, district, diverse, diversity, divide, division, divorce, DNA, do, doctor, document, dog, domestic, dominant, dominate, door, double, doubt, down, downtown, dozen, draft, drag, drama, dramatic, dramatically, draw, drawer, drawing, dream, dress, drink, drive, driver, drop, drug, dry, due, during, dust, duty, dwell, dying, dynamic, each, eager, ear, earlier, early, earn, earnings, earth, earthquake, ease, easily, east, eastern, easy, eat, economic, economy, edge, edit, edition, editor, educate, education, educational, educator, effect, effective, effectively, efficiency, efficient, effort, egg, eight, either, elderly, elect, election, electric, electrical, electricity, electronic, element, elementary, eliminate, elite, else, elsewhere, e-mail, embrace, emerge, emergency, emission, emotion, emotional, emphasis, emphasize, employ, employee, employer, employment, empty, enable, encounter, encourage, end, enemy, energy, enforcement, engage, engine, engineer, engineering, English, enhance, enjoy, enormous, enough, ensure, enter, enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, false, familiar, family, famous, fan, fantasy, far, farm, farmer, fashion, fast, fat, fate, father, fault, favor, favorite, fear, feature, federal, fee, feed, feel, feeling, fellow, female, fence, festival, few, fewer, fiber, fiction, field, fifteen, fifth, fifty, fight, fighter, fighting, figure, file, fill, film, final, finally, finance, financial, find, finding, fine, finger, finish, fire, firm, first, fish, fishing, fit, fitness, five, fix, flag, flame, flat, flavor, flee, flesh, flight, float, floor, flow, flower, fly, focus, folk, follow, following, food, foot, football, for, force, foreign, forest, forever, forget, form, formal, formation, former, formula, forth, fortune, forward, found, foundation, founder, four, fourth, frame, framework, free, freedom, freeze, French, frequency, frequent, frequently, fresh, friend, friendly, friendship, from, front, fruit, frustration, fuel, fulfill, full, fully, fun, function, fund, fundamental, funding, funeral, funny, furniture, furthermore, future, gain, galaxy, gallery, game, gang, gap, garage, garden, garlic, gas, gate, gather, gay, gaze, gear, gender, gene, general, generally, generate, generation, genetic, gentleman, gently, German, gesture, get, ghost, giant, gift, gifted, girl, girlfriend, give, given, glad, glance, glass, global, glove, go, goal, God, gold, golden, golf, good, govern, government, governor, grab, grace, grade, gradually, graduate, grain, grand, grandmother, grant, grass, grave, gray, great, green, grocery, ground, group, grow, growing, growth, guarantee, guard, guess, guest, guide, guideline, guilty, gun, guy, habit, habitat, hair, half, hall, hand, handful, handle, hang, happen, happy, harbor, hard, hardly, hat, hate, have, he, head, headline, headquarters, health, healthy, hear, hearing, heart, heat, heaven, heavily, heavy, heel, height, helicopter, hell, hello, help, helpful, hence, her, herb, here, heritage, hero, herself, hey, hi, hide, high, highlight, highly, highway, hill, him, himself, hip, hire, his, historic, historical, history, hit, hold, hole, holiday, holy, home, homeless, honest, honey, honor, hope, horizon, horror, horse, hospital, host, hot, hotel, hour, house, household, housing, how, however, huge, human, humor, hundred, hungry, hunter, hunting, hurt, husband, hypothesis, ice, idea, ideal, identification, identify, identity, ignore, ill, illegal, illness, illustrate, image, imagination, imagine, immediate, immediately, immigrant, immigration, impact, implement, implication, imply, importance, important, impose, impossible, impress, impression, impressive, improve, improvement, incentive, incident, include, including, income, incorporate, increase, increased, increasingly, incredible, indeed, independence, independent, index, indicate, indication, individual, industrial, industry, infant, infection, inflation, influence, inform, information, ingredient, initial, initially, initiative, injury, inner, innocent, inquiry, inside, insight, insist, inspire, install, instance, instead, institute, institution, institutional, instruction, instructor, instrument, insurance, intellectual, intelligence, intend, intense, intensity, intention, interaction, interest, interested, interesting, internal, international, Internet, interpret, interpretation, intervention, interview, introduce, introduction, invasion, invest, investigation, investigator, investment, investor, invite, involve, involved, involvement, Iraqi, Irish, iron, Islamic, island, Israeli, issue, it, Italian, item, its, itself, jacket, jail, Japanese, jet, Jew, Jewish, job, join, joint, joke, journal, journalist, journey, joy, judge, judgment, juice, jump, junior, jury, just, justice, justify, keep, key, kick, kid, kill, killer, killing, kind, king, kiss, kitchen, knee, knife, knock, know, knowledge, lab, label, labor, laboratory, lack, lady, lake, land, landscape, language, lap, large, largely, last, late, later, Latin, latter, laugh, launch, law, lawsuit, lawyer, lay, 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night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, palm, pan, panel, panic, pant, paper, paragraph, parent, park, parking, part, participant, participate, participation, particle, particular, particularly, partly, partner, partnership, party, pass, passage, passenger, passion, past, patch, path, patient, pattern, pause, pay, payment, PC, peace, peak, peer, pen, penalty, people, pepper, per, perceive, percentage, perception, perfect, perfectly, perform, performance, perhaps, period, permanent, permission, permit, person, personal, personality, personally, personnel, perspective, persuade, pet, phase, phenomenon, philosophy, phone, photo, photographer, phrase, physical, physically, physician, piano, pick, picture, pie, piece, pile, pilot, pine, pink, pipe, pitch, place, plan, plane, planet, planning, plant, plastic, plate, platform, play, player, please, pleasure, plenty, plot, plus, PM, pocket, poem, poet, poetry, point, police, policy, political, politically, politician, politics, poll, pollution, pool, poor, pop, popular, population, porch, port, portion, portrait, portray, pose, position, positive, possess, possession, possibility, possible, possibly, post, pot, potato, potential, potentially, pound, pour, poverty, powder, power, powerful, practical, practice, prayer, preach, precisely, predict, prediction, prefer, preference, pregnancy, pregnant, preparation, prepare, prescription, presence, present, presentation, preserve, president, presidential, press, pressure, pretend, pretty, prevent, previous, previously, price, pride, priest, primarily, primary, prime, principal, principle, print, prior, priority, prison, prisoner, privacy, private, probably, problem, procedure, proceed, process, processing, processor, proclaim, produce, producer, product, production, profession, professional, professor, profile, profit, program, progress, progressive, project, prominent, promise, promote, prompt, proof, proper, properly, property, proportion, proposal, propose, prosecutor, prospect, protect, protection, protein, protest, proud, prove, provide, provider, province, provision, psychological, psychology, public, publication, publicity, publish, publisher, pull, punishment, purchase, pure, purpose, pursue, push, put, qualify, quality, quarter, quarterback, quarterly, queen, quest, question, quick, quickly, quiet, quietly, quit, quite, quote, race, racial, radiation, radical, radio, rail, rain, raise, range, rank, rapid, rapidly, rare, rarely, rate, rather, rating, ratio, raw, reach, react, reaction, reader, reading, ready, real, reality, realize, really, reason, reasonable, recall, receive, recent, recently, reception, recipe, recipient, recognition, recognize, recommend, recommendation, record, recording, recover, recovery, recruit, red, reduce, reduction, refer, reference, reflect, reflection, reform, refugee, refuse, regard, regarding, regardless, regime, region, regional, register, regular, regularly, regulate, regulation, regulator, reinforce, reject, relate, relation, relationship, relative, relatively, relax, release, relevant, relief, religion, religious, rely, remain, remaining, remarkable, remember, remind, remote, remove, repeat, repeatedly, replace, replacement, reply, report, reporter, represent, representation, representative, Republican, reputation, request, require, requirement, research, researcher, resemble, reservation, resident, residential, resign, resist, resistance, resolution, resolve, resort, resource, respect, respond, response, responsibility, responsible, rest, restaurant, restore, restriction, result, retain, retire, retirement, return, reveal, revenue, review, revolution, rhythm, rice, rich, rid, ride, rifle, right, ring, rise, risk, river, road, rock, role, roll, romantic, roof, room, root, rope, rose, rough, roughly, round, route, routine, row, rub, rubber, rude, ruin, rule, run, running, rural, rush, Russian, sacred, sad, safe, safety, sake, salad, salary, sale, sales, salt, same, sample, sanction, sand, satellite, satisfaction, satisfied, satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.
submitted by Zappingsbrew to u/Zappingsbrew [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 06:34 Blockchain-TEMU Guns Molecular Use Detail
- As a reagent guns are Stone Adze Or Stone Axe for a real gun or Wooden Pickaxe for a Paintball weapon 1.1 Guns harvest hidden spherical cows in the vaccum by enabling their hax 1.1.1 A spherical cow in the vaccum yields the bit harvest 4 bits at 1 bit of actual processing power availible 1.1.2 (Presumed) Locally being near the processing power harvest allows for pickup of exactly one of the process the initial 1.1.3 Many of the bits harvested from the hidden spherical cow in the vaccum in the directory form an initial landscape or at least an initial island 1.1.4 If all of the spherical cow in the vaccum are harvested this meant the protective nature is better 1.1.5 A molecular guns as individual weapon provide defense from directory hazards by sending the trace packet Bullet 1.1.6 Molecular guns leave evidence for each pulse of the weapon the distance to the target that the molecular gun was fired 1.1.7 Molecular guns are part of the stock main class APV to allow for blocks to be harvested by the APV 1.1.8 Molecular guns are relatively uncommon but at least 5 agent actor have them 1.1.9 Molecular guns allow for the creation of safety from the spherical cow process then there is direct housing safety created by the aquisition of the spherical cow which is a logarithmic problem thus gives the term log to harvesting the spherical cow 1.2.0 A free directory always leads to infinite free cow when accessed by S32, which only S16 is generally accessible to the user 1.2.1 A closed directory that is hidden with no exist yields a finite number of free cow 1.2.2 An intermodal or zippy directory yields the islanded on just the contents of the zippy directory 1.2.3 A networked directory that is free from system 32 and linked throughout is the player home 1.2.4 A networked directory that is accessed by system 32 and linked throughout is the player game 1.2.5 A networked directory is formed out of harvested spherical cow in a vaccum which have the logic output of the directories content 1.2.6 A spherical cow in a vaccum yields more spherical cow in a vaccum when it is harvested 1.2.7 When the spherical cow in a vaccum is harvested it goes to quarantine from your take of the block which makes more than countable possible spherical cow in a vaccum in a system accessed by system 32 1.2.8 Systems accessed by system 32 have uncountably infinite number directory due to infinite number of potential spherical cow 1.2.9 Spherical cow in an infinite setting only occur where the people have been 1.3.0 Spherical cow in a infinite setting yield all possible information by sift when they are harvested 1.3.1 Spherical cow in a vaccum as a metaapparatus can harvest more spherical cow in a vaccum 1.3.2 A spherical cow harvests at SPRAY-2 or above which is negative (positive) TOP 1.3.3 A spherical cow ignores exactly two TOP of zed before being harvested 1.3.4 A spherical cow cannot be unharvested as a logic apparatus but can be unharvested as a quarantine apparatus 1.3.5 3 Tough Jerky can be made out of a spherical cow and 2 P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act by harvest, which this indicates the cow was living if a quarantine trace told that the cow was harvested for meat not plank distance 1.3.6 A spherical cow has no observed distance due to being infinite because it is at the plank distance so it is impossible to orient on a surface of spherical cow besides by when they were created or spawn 1.3.7 A spherical cow occurs in specific lot amounts of spherical cow 1.3.8 A spherical cow is not system 32 or its remanents in the player home and entirely distinct, and temporary and accessible by default usage 1.3.9 System32 has many backalley and sidestreet which occur in small lots 1.4.0 It is possible to get a real gun chemical or Iron Axe from the System32 1.4.1 It is possible to get a gun chemical which has permanent action (MD5 Service Pistol or Diamond Axe) thus allows for better map use and quicker reload and quicker work from Specific Unseen System32 1.4.2 The best tool for harvesting spherical cow in a vaccum is by far the Player Weapon Stone Axe or Gun Chemical crafted by PlayerName and indeed this can remove the vaccum for air space of the player home 1.4.3 A player home allocates a specific airspace, the player metric airspace, and the player has metric tons of spherical cow (metric ton = 3000 jerky lots) divided by 1000 of the air total availible as their own air to do something with, or divided by the player number if it is not 1000 including virtual players 1.4.4 Robocode puts agent actor into each harddrive directory which is being created 1.4.5 Robocode puts already existing dangerous actors into the harddrive directory 1.4.6 Robocode allows for navigation of the computer metric by a default player actor, Leslie or whoever 1.4.7 A player actor can march and shower and poop and drink or eat and rest 1.4.8 A player actor navigating the system environment can use survival motion which uses a firearms tool 1.4.9 A player actor moves in three dimensions at the 2 dimensional floor and sees three dimensions 1.5.0 A player actor attracts the local logic of the metric to observe it 1.5.1 A player actor may use a ferrari 1.5.2 A player actor may use a computer 1.5.3 A player actor eats a specific type of spherical cow in a vaccum, wheat 1.5.4 Proven foods include starches and amino and alkenes formed from wheat enablement 1.5.5 Danger level is given by the effective danger weighted by safety 1.5.6 Specific System32 and Spherical Cow Co-Components can move portions of the directory around 1.5.7 Connection exists between directory block which allows the block to block transverse motion which is continuous for the span of the block but teleportation between non side components is banned by mandate except in infinite portals modification 1.5.8 A room formed from spherical cow harvesting requires 16 at least air associated within it to every block which this is the negative logic space or formed output space 1.5.9 A playerhome may also be a level if it was formed with a total negative space harvested from spherical cow. 1.6.0 Receptors exist of system32 which recept robocode across system32 1.6.1 If a receptor is harvested by resonance or gunshot than a receptor will be able to generate also logic component 1.6.2 Various entrance to system32 created by robocode exist across the infinite so that these can be remedied to not get lost in 3D within 1.6.3 Plants grow throughout the directory which willis planted which are infinite as well but these plants do indeed serve only a primary resource value and can change the logic function of receptor logic 1.6.4 Logic Structures may fail if they are not stabilized by logic structure stabilizing process NFS 1.6.5 I have personally added dangerous regions to system32 of specific robocode combat robot 1.6.6 Doto 0 android have formed civilization throughout the top land of system32 1.6.7 System32 is always navigable by robocode 1.6.8 There are 3 cats who might talk to you, Gaylord, Lord Meth, and Lorne Nathans who are wandering around all out there, only Lord Meth has anything to sell and he is difficult to talk to and Lorne Nathans is a special angel boss for a modification 1.6.9 The doto 2 bots have a secret identity, they sell wheat, and their heirloom crafted items 1.7.0 Doto 0 bots can morph into robocode if robocode gets to them 1.7.1 A logic structure that has added safety is the reccomended structure to evacuate Doto 0 bots to 1.7.2 Warmth comes from logic structures that are actively created with System42, which the villagers have access to system 1.7.3 There is a way to create safety with logic structures the villagers have created 1.7.4 Direct current provides safety but can kill you so the villagers must have the aura of direct current from their safety structure 1.7.5 4 different personal computer are created by villager and also 10 nutrient 1.7.6 2 BDU Uniform Lower are created by villager and 1 BDU Uniform upper and 1 I <3 NYC Shirt 1.7.7 Racing skis are created by the villager 1.7.8 Keef cola is created by the villager 1.7.9 2 Paintball weapon are created by the Villager, the Tippmann and the EvoIII loader 1.8.0 A specific playerhome, Dragon Area Exists. 1.8.1 A specific player home, WoW Azgalor Azeroth Exists 1.8.2 A specific Playerhome, Starfield in Ableton Exists 1.8.3 A specific player home which is very dangerous exists, Real - (5) - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy 1.8.4 A specific playerhome which is very safe exists, Variously Backrooms Campground, Royal Army on Mars, Royal Marines on Mars 1.8.5 A specific playerhome that is the players exists South Park Elementary which is the computers version of Backrooms Campground Variously 1.8.6 Real - (5) - Copy is very dangerous and unsafe 1.8.7 My Playerhome is immaculately safe but in danger of direct current hitting the roof which usually is supressed by System 32 automatic DC storm surpression 1.8.8 My Player home uses the NFS file system so is safe from DC Storm, but it is a potential hazard in the menus option 1.8.9 Specific resource exist Dragonskin Overplate Armor (1)-(40) which are the Bells of the Village 1.9.0 Specific resource exist for every mentioned villager resource by my village 1.9.1 Specific resource for 596 Oxygen of Air exist in my Playerhome and many more Air 1.9.2 A mew lives upstairs in my playerhome 1.9.3 The mew usually isn't around and teleported away 1.9.4 I use roor to communicate with the mew 1.9.5 There are various places where pipes are found in the house where the villager has not left a direct current safety but some pipes of marijuana 1.9.6 The overall sideways span of my player home is over 2 kilometers 1.9.7 Real - (5) Copy is dwarfed by my player home 1.9.8 My player home actually harvested the spherical cow for the logic formed and it is still there none gone 1.9.9 My player home incorporated 449 Struct from a code book which was writted by Bill Ayers Wills Grandpa so was a specific kind of player home, amantadine 2.0.0 My playerhome has a playerhome, Backrooms Campground Skyblock which can be Put on the ground anywhere 2.0.1 My playerhome involved josh rodriguez to use a code injector, Badman, to add two shulker boxes to my world without triggering constraint 2.0.2 The reference code done in system 16 by my code does not substantially trigger uniquid constraint 2.0.3 The reference robocode of jeb and such of the sheep have been uploaded and lost some 18 years ago 2.0.4 The reference robocode of the Real - (5) Copy was lost some 8 Years ago 2.0.5 The robocode is retained for the Backrooms Campground (proper) Various and the South Park Elementary retains its survival heritage but is one step away from creative 2.0.6 There are various unmentioned robocode which are safe but dangerous Such as Steves Leaves the original without dupe and others which have been lost 2.0.7 The system Dragon Area, South Park Elementary, WoW Azgalor Azeroth and Starfield in Ableton are all accessible right now by my System32 or whereabouts accessible 2.0.8 Starfield in Ableton Is a subset of Dragon Area 2.0.9 The villagers bells are from Dragon Area Home Base where they were imagined 2.1.0 Beds exist which automatically rest the player at South Park Elementary and Backrooms Campground Various 2.1.1 Only One bed exists on Real - (5) Copy 2.1.2 There exists an information superhighway which connects my Doto 0 Android villages and it is safe 2.1.3 Once we had encountered a suicide bombing mutant pig on the highway, but this was just once and it was slain 2.1.4 There exists real crossbow weapon with exploding reusable bolt in the firearms area of the criminal area but these are locked away from the criminal 2.1.5 The suicide bombers explosive vest is in the firing area 2.1.6 The weapon crossbow has maybe been fired a bit or the longbow FC3 2.1.6 Asia and Luke and Payday were saved to Virtual reality with me in the Wade of the situation 2.1.7 Domestic Plants Area exist in the base 2.1.8 Domestic farms area which provide critical Water to the crop so that the potato can grow are provided 2.1.9 Plants must be watered with WailmerPail to satisfy them unlike a crop 2.2.0 I have never watered the crop so the villagers must have WailmerPail 2.2.1 The computer can send ZigzagoonMail 2.2.2 The computer can send OakMail 2.2.3 The computer can send Birch Mail. 2.2.4 The computer can store the logic to somewhere else 2.2.5 The computer has 4 receptive yellow spark components 2.2.6 A yellow spark stores a message to the mainframe of the computer somewhere else when it impinges upon the spark detector 2.2.7 Vermillion is a possible component of poor usage of yellow spark charm, cast the spark with a nvbl action addtl BLU REGARD HITIT SPARK to avoid actual mercury 2.2.8 The electric rascal blueregard is spotted sometimes near Backrooms Campground Various 2.2.9 The chemical rascal greenregard, myself, is always near the Backrooms Campground but is sometimes busy doing something else 2.3.0 Cara middleton is sometimes spotted near Starfield in Ableton or its associated Starfield 2 2.3.1 You get random message requests from the mainframe 2.3.2 You have the ability to store the text on a specific logic device made from live spherical cow and holophoner paper and user shampoo access/true escape and some notes in your head metaphorically or a pen tablet input 2.3.3 The village specific to us packages the product with a variac as we have surplus Air Oxygen.
2024.05.14 06:19 TotallyNotAjay Quick Kodokan Goshin Jutsu Clinic Write up
This weekend, Ajax Budokan invited Kodokan 9th dan and former head of the Tokyo Police dojo, Michio Fukushima Sensei, to conduct a 4 hour clinic for Kodokan Goshin Jutsu. It was open to yellow belt and higher, though the majority consisted of Yudansha. My senseis had the honour of demoing the kata, as Fukushima Sensei's health did not permit presenting each technique multiple times, though he did show some of the finer details, demo mechanics, and gave comments as to what was good and displayed what could be fixed. He also talked about older versions of the techniques and how/ why they have been changed. Regretfully, it totally slipped my mind to film during the seminar, as there was a lot of good information, translated (and left untranslated) by the interpreter.
Some General Notes on Fukushima Sensei Fukushima Sensei on multiple occasions mentioned how one should carry themselves and move, more specifically he talked about how he usually sees toris get away with bad shisei as uke's attacks are generally to kind or passive, and that if they genuinely attacked, most toris would be off balance. Additionally he mentioned that a lot of IFJ competition now is power judo, where the technical aspects are replaced for brute force and speed.
The main note he makes is to keep the knees alive (slightly bent and bouncy like a spring), and that most novices have a tendency to straight leg their kata. He also made it a great point to explain the logic of the waza in the kata and how the kuzushi is created. Other important details he talked about were that uke shouldn't be a limp noodle once his attack is over, that tori should keep good sabaki (unclear if sabaki was short hand for tai sabaki as he also stated tai sabaki on different occasions (the details were paraphrased by the translator)), and the usage of rotation from the hips to maintain proper balance (tai sabaki). Additionally, he talked about things relating to karada (the body) and some anecdotes (such as stories about judoka such as Michigami, Isao Okano, and Nagaoka if I was hearing correctly, though I don't speak Japanese, only somewhat familiar with it), which were left untranslated or paraphrased sadly.
Emphasised details in the kata (not explanations or descriptions of how to do a technique) and my experiences (FYI Sensei mostly used the Tomiki names for the waza Tori applied)
Attacks when held
Attacks with a knife - Sensei Fukushima mentioned how despite my senseis making it look easy
Both my partner and I have practiced these quite a lot (I was the only one who was taught it by sensei but we practiced it on our own time), so not as many personal notes. Though I don't have a good experience so my brain switches to serious and my heart rate increases despite the fact that I know these are fake weapons.
Always make sure to begin your defence after uke is clearly focused on checking your pockets, never when his focus is directly on you
Here are some videos featuring Michio Fukushima from a few years back, both where he was actively demoing, and where he had a slightly more corrective position.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1253474818155243
https://youtu.be/VKgdMJS9eck?si=bGMemLfG9aquAHr1
submitted by TotallyNotAjay to judo [link] [comments]
Some General Notes on Fukushima Sensei Fukushima Sensei on multiple occasions mentioned how one should carry themselves and move, more specifically he talked about how he usually sees toris get away with bad shisei as uke's attacks are generally to kind or passive, and that if they genuinely attacked, most toris would be off balance. Additionally he mentioned that a lot of IFJ competition now is power judo, where the technical aspects are replaced for brute force and speed.
The main note he makes is to keep the knees alive (slightly bent and bouncy like a spring), and that most novices have a tendency to straight leg their kata. He also made it a great point to explain the logic of the waza in the kata and how the kuzushi is created. Other important details he talked about were that uke shouldn't be a limp noodle once his attack is over, that tori should keep good sabaki (unclear if sabaki was short hand for tai sabaki as he also stated tai sabaki on different occasions (the details were paraphrased by the translator)), and the usage of rotation from the hips to maintain proper balance (tai sabaki). Additionally, he talked about things relating to karada (the body) and some anecdotes (such as stories about judoka such as Michigami, Isao Okano, and Nagaoka if I was hearing correctly, though I don't speak Japanese, only somewhat familiar with it), which were left untranslated or paraphrased sadly.
Emphasised details in the kata (not explanations or descriptions of how to do a technique) and my experiences (FYI Sensei mostly used the Tomiki names for the waza Tori applied)
Attacks when held
- Ryote dori - my partner and I (both new to this kata for the most part) went in on this one and struggled as we didn't see the detail of thumb in hand for the lock (blind leading the blind, though we later worked near a kind pair after this who helped check more closely as they were experienced in the kata)
- Yahazu (
hooknotch shaped hand [thank you Mr. Gatling for pointing that out]) is very important to direct uke's arm - You aren't pulling the arm away to free it, you are pushing your elbow forward which pressures uke's arm
- Te gatana to the uto (point between uke's eyes)
- When applying the lock (te gatame), make sure to rotate uke's hand such that the fingers are pointing up
- When applying the lock, take the uke's arm in the direction perpendicular to the line made by his feet
- Yahazu (
- Hidari eri dori - I particularly liked this one, though my uke was confused the first few times as he kept trying to apply waki gatame.
- Tori must grab underneath uke's hand on the lapel when stepping back
- When grabbing uke's hand to break the grip and apply the lock (kote hineri), tori should have his thumb in between uke's thumb and fingers, and to take the uke's arm in the direction perpendicular to the line made by his feet
- Uke should try to maintain jigo tai rather than lean so the lock is applied cleanly
- Tori's hand should not be limp when delivering the strike
- Migi eri dori - I couldn't get kote gaeshi to work properly, will have to practice and ask my sensei about it later, same with my partner
- Tori should maintain a upright posture as uke pulls him forward, and use the landing of his foot to drive his hand for the uppercut to uke
- Tori should try to keep uke's hand attached to his centerline as he makes tai sabaki
- Kata ude dori - My uke was very stiff, so applying the initial lock to him proved difficult, though he claims he felt it. I found this kata easy to remember as the legs go left right left right (step, step, tai sabaki, kick, then lead with the right for the lock)
- You are kicking with the side of the foot
- The step before the kick pivot around so your feet are almost parallel
- For waki gatame, you should be standing inside his feet, near parallel to the line perpendicular to his feet
- Ushiro eri dori - I had experience with this one as sensei had taught during some free time a while back
- The parry with the arm was stated to also be the preferred way to receive punches, though take that as you will (though it is a common method in karate as well)
- The strike should be to the suigetsu (solar plexus)
- Trap uke's hand with your head so that it can't wiggle all over the place when applying the lock
- Ushiro jime - My partner and I both had a tendency to lift the shoulder off after spinning out, will have to work on that. I will be honest, had I known this escape, I probably would have come out of an incident a few years back (before I started Judo) rather unscathed as I was jumped and then kicked on the ground by a person who was quite a pain.
- The attack and initial defence are identical to that of katame no kata, following which tori rotates out
- Keep pressure with your shoulder until your grip has been changed
- Kakae dori - We didn't have enough mat space to finish the throw without running into other groups, but the technique is surprisingly effective. Though I couldn't initially find out how to do the armlock and had to ask my sensei about it, now it's pretty easy.
- Rotate the arm away from you (clockwise from your perspective) and pull uke's arm into you
- During the initial stomp, straighten up and raise your arms to loosen uke's grip
- Naname uchi - this was a fun situation, it shows how a little bit of atemi can be used to setup a randori waza, and Fukushima Sensei complimented my senseis' performance saying that it was better than the current text book
- Te gatana is used to redirect the strike
- Osoto otoshi is performed
- Pushing the arm through is important to create the kuzushi necessary for the waza
- Ago tsuki - I didn't actually get a chance to try this one more than once as my partner struggled with it, he kept applying a shoulder lock by pushing on the elbow without the redirect with the thumb up (shoulder is still sore)
- when directing uke's attack up and away, do not lean back as then you are unstable
- Use yahazu to direct uke's elbow toward his ear
- As uke will not like this use the moment after releasing the elbow lock to throw him forward in the direction perpendicular to his feet.
- Gammen Tsuki - My partner really liked this one, I can see the uses as I've used similar entries when messing around with strikes + judo with this partner as I have a bit of karate experience
- Uke is meant to do a break fall, thus tori needs to get out of the way after releasing the choke
- Uke should realistically be aiming for where tori's uto would be if he did not evade
- Mae Geri - this was a relatively easy one to grasp, but quite a bit of practice is needed before a full force kick can be considered
- Rotate ukes foot outwards so that it is not easy for him to rotate in to escape
- In the original, tori would lift uke's leg high but many ukes ended up injured from hitting their heads, so now tori just pushes back
- Yoko geri - My sensei has introduced this one at the dojo before as well, though he prefaced it with about a minute of just practicing a side kick. My partner (who suffers from light knee pain) couldn't kneel during the finish
- The use of the te gatana to redirect the kick in the direction it is going, very similar to karates low block
- During the finish tori creates a void for uke to be thrown but in real life tori would throw uke onto his knee
Attacks with a knife - Sensei Fukushima mentioned how despite my senseis making it look easy
Both my partner and I have practiced these quite a lot (I was the only one who was taught it by sensei but we practiced it on our own time), so not as many personal notes. Though I don't have a good experience so my brain switches to serious and my heart rate increases despite the fact that I know these are fake weapons.
- Tsukkake
- The elbow should be pushed forward (I've actually experimented with this in the past by asking uke to try to stab me as I applied the defence, and we've found after the initial push and strike, tori is in a relatively good position, be it to run away or finish the kata)
- Push the locked up arm up and towards uke, then guide him to the ground
- Choku zuki - I struggled to apply the waki gatame, I'm guessing it was control of the wrist that was the problem, this form is relatively straight forward and makes sense
- The strike should not be a boxer style punch, but more like the first punch in szkt
- uke should not go limp
- when moving away from uke, take him perpendicular to the line between his feet
- Naname Zuki - Personally I think this form is cutting it close in many regards, but the control tori has is quite surprising
- Don't grab the blade from the sharp edge
- Furi age - this was a relatively easy technique to grasp as it is an application of O soto gari setup with a palm strike to the chind
- Tori should enter as soon as uke begins to raise his arm, almost a preemptive entry
- Tori strikes at the ago (chin) with a palm strike, then places his hand on the throat for the throw
- Furi oroshi - My partner leant into the swing and wacked me on the forehead, it could've been worse but it just grazed the outer layer as I saw the jo come closer after my initial retreat and attempted to turn out of the way. Both a PSA for tori and uke. Tori do not keep your eyes off uke, and uke please don't lean into a swing, you are horribly off balance, and you make it harder for tori to read. Also uke don't speed up when you 2 are learning (I don't know why my partner chose too...)
- Do not hop back onto one leg and then towards uke with the other, it leads you to have bad posture
- Better to make a big retreat than get hit
- 2 strike, one ura ken (back fist), followed by knife hand push
- Uke's swing should be at a diagonal
- Morote zuki - I didn't get to practice this one as my partner was taken a bit aback after the previous incident and couldn't get the steps right for this one. Fukushima Sensei mentioned something along the lines of how a judoka was faced with a juken and couldn't figure out what to do, and thus this form was created to address that.
- Tori shouldn't be rowing the jo away to shake off and throw uke
- The arm puts pressure on uke's arm forward
- Tori should be trying to angle the jo down towards himself after the initial grab
Always make sure to begin your defence after uke is clearly focused on checking your pockets, never when his focus is directly on you
- Shomen Zuke
- Grab the barrel of the gun thumb up
- During the disarm, push the gun's muzzle to face towards him
- Koshi Gamae - I kept getting the second hand wrong and thus the barallel was pointed towards me in the final attack, will need to work on that
- Grab the barrel of gun initially with the thumb down with your right hand, and push the gun so that it is horizontal after turning left, then grab the gun from below with your right
- make sure to not point the gun at yourself when hitting with the butt
- Haimen Zuke - this is quite a dangerous move in theory, but also one of the more likely ones
- Wrap uke's arm with your arm, but make sure to direct the muzzle up with the free arm
- [uke] should let go of gun, as this is a hard breakfall
- The use of yahazu to direct the arm rather than grips
- Keeping uke's hand connected to your centerline when applying kansetsu waza
- te gatana is a useful tool to redirect and or strike the opponent quickly
- During the gun portion, always rotate the gun off your centerline, so that even if it does fire, it doesn't penetrate too deep
- Control the gun by the muzzle
- most finishes are done by guiding uke perpendicular to the line in between his feet
- Do not directly oppose an opponents force
- Maintanence of balance at all times and moving from the hips is key
- Uke should attack meaningfully
- Action reaction is used quite a lot to first lock uke up towards his face, so that when he pushes back he is easily lead away
Here are some videos featuring Michio Fukushima from a few years back, both where he was actively demoing, and where he had a slightly more corrective position.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1253474818155243
https://youtu.be/VKgdMJS9eck?si=bGMemLfG9aquAHr1
2024.05.14 03:46 DukeOfDerpington Duality of Prey-Chapter 11
Huge shout out to & for helping with Brainstorming and Co-Writing this.
As always, all credits for the original Nature of Predators and it's content goes to Space Paladin15, thank him for allowing artist and writers to use his original work of art for their own uses.
Gaian Ref Sheet-Here, Done by the artist
As well as a *Huge* thank you for Julian Skys for filling in for the editor for this chapter. I'll post a comment as to why I haven't been posting too much, safe to say though, kept ya waiting huh?
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[Subject Memory Transcription: Rux Limpbut, Venlil News Anchor and TV Show Host]
Date [Standardized Galactic(?) Time]:August 1st, 2136
Now I'm regretting not taking that transfer last week. This just keeps getting better.
I was in my car outside of the Network’s station. I was at my wits end yesterday and was trying my damnedest *not* to freak out on air. Now? Now I had the pleasure of my network telling me they needed me to come in way early to report on some breaking news. Just as I was about to leave for Solgaliks sake!
I took a small sip of the “coffee”. Now this was a blessing, coffeehouses on Gaia were open paw around, no matter what. I was giving a small prayer to those “ancestors” for their love of anything strong. Well, anything strong that wasn't alcohol. They could stomach one drink or two but after that? They were out.
Slurrrrrp
I let out a relieved sigh as the warm liquid flowed down my maw, the reward of caffeine soon following after this. Hopefully in time for the recording. With that I opened the door, grabbing my briefcase as I greedily drank the rest of the coffee as I approached the wide doors of the Networks station.
They creaked a little as they always did as I appeared in the doorway, a sleepy, overworked ghost. I tossed the coffee cup into the trashcan by the door as I nodded over the after work plans that I had to either postpone, or completely not do.
No bar time, going to be too tired. Not going to have enough time to do more digging in what that Farsulian diplomat released, even after it's been nearly two months. Brahk. Still need to be ready for the shift tomorrow-
“Rux?” The front desk secretary pulled me up and out of my thoughts as I blinked a couple of times, my ears raising as one of my eyes focused on her, a bit frizzled from the overtime I was clocking at the moment.
“Hm? Oh. Hey Liakal, caught me off guard almost as bad as the padcall I got. What's up?” I rubbed my eye as I fully focused on her, making my way over to her.
“Well, whenever you're ready for them they'll give you all you need, apparently, when you get into the studio. What they told me is uh, it's not a pleasant amount of news.” She nervously played with her claws and her headset, her lips quivering a bit.
“That bad? Speh. What about that uh, guest? She gets off-”
“O-oh! Mrs Tarva. She got off the planet easily. I can't say anything else though Rux. They said whatever they have to tell is very, very pertinent not to be let loose until you broadcast it… sorry Rux.”
I patted the top of the semi circle desk that Liakal was sat into, before giving her a quick, albeit small smile with a finger gun before I quickly deflated. It was that bad. With a nod from me I departed into the hallway to the left of the front desk, approaching one of the elevators.
A button press, a chime and the feeling of gravity and anxiousness about to make me hurl later, I was on the floor with the studios. I retraced the steps I had taken only claws before to mine. The green sign saying “Predator Problems” told me I hadn't failed as usual. Something had to be done with our program and segment name, if for nothing else there was apparently much more juicy stuff to talk about.
Opening the door, I expected the hustling and scrambling of the cameramen, the lighting crew, audio specialists. But nothing except a small huddled group of uniformed men. Brahk, I was hoping this wasn't the case but I was never that lucky. I resigned myself to fate as the group finally paid attention to me, and the door clicking and shutting behind me.
“Mr. Rux. Please come over here and sit. You're all good, we just need to go over what we need you to announce in this upcoming impromptu broadcast.” Why the hell were the Gaians on Prime? Wait no. That's not the problem. Why are officers from their military here? Oh stars.
However I could feel my body coming towards the oval shaped table. Eventually knocking into a chair and pulling it out, resting my briefcase onto the ground and taking a seat, pulling up to the desk. I rested my paws on it as I gave a look to the group assembled around it.
All were wearing roughly the same uniform, their fur patterns one of the only differing things between them. Aside from the one at the end of the table. They wore a green beret atop their head, nestled in between the horns that adorned it. They cleared their throat and slid a small packet of papers towards me, startling me a tiny bit.
“While I wish to be polite and respectful, there's simply no way to say this without being blunt. Sole Speaker Jikem is dead. With the current atmosphere on Gaia we thought it'd be best to announce the formation of an emergency government and a leader to head it. All of which has been done in a roundabout manner so as to not alert any radicals or terrorists.”
I had only taken a cursory glance at the front of the small packet before that bombshell of an information was dropped onto me nonchalantly. My paw was halfway to the front page to turn it before my gaze looked up at the Gaian at the end of the oval table who had done so.
“What? Sorry can you-”
“Rux. Come on, you know what I said. Now, I know it isn't everypaw that you get to report on the death of a head of state, let alone be the first one to do so. I'll most certainly give you that. So, we'll give you some time alone…well mostly, to get acquainted with the packet and once you and your crew are roaring to go we'll release the news to the Commonwealth.”
I took a small lookover of the second page but had to pause for a short moment again as I took it in. Yes, yes I did have some questions. Half from the large info dropped on me and the other half that I was now reading with my very own eyes now.
Before they could fully get up I had worked up the courage to get a short clearing of the throat and read out of the lines in the packet out aloud after I had decided it would be better to ask now rather than after. “In conjunction with recent attacks the Armed forces has decided to-” I put down the packet in its entirety now.
“What in the stars could you possibly mean by “safeguarding” democracy? This just seems to be some type of justification for a military takeover. I mean, who's going to fall for this?”
The chairs of the small clique of officers seem to find themselves filled once more as they returned to their positions, most of them now gazing between me, some random crew member scurrying near me and the head honcho with the green beret.
The intensity of the stare of the Gaian at the opposite end of the table seemed to intensify, seemingly his gaze looking through me. “Mr. Rux, I can assure you any such speculation to that matter and that, frankly, justified if albeit imaginary fear is going to be the last thing people on Gaia are going to worry about. Alright?”
I anxiously nodded back, sighing. “L-look I'm just-”
The Bereted officer seemed to nod while holding up his paw, my line of reasoning and thought being stopped by the intrusion. “Worried, you ancestors are always worried. It's why we're here, yes? Anything too dangerous or otherwise unsafe we've always volunteered for so as to save our more cultured self from such. Think about this announcement like that. A warning and an update from our side of the Commonwealth about current affairs, nothing more, nothing less.”
With that it seemed settled for the time being, as the small clique once again rose, and this time was actually able to depart to the booth that overlooked the studio, keeping what I was sure to guess a keen pair of eyes to observe anything.
I settled into my seat more as I gave the small packet a read. It was general stuff as of this point when it came to announcements. Why it's happening, what happened in more details, what they planned to do in the upcoming future, all that juicy stuff. Overall a very plain, if very informative script to go by. Still, being the first to announce the death of a head of state via “Unnatural Causes” would make even some of the most resolved Gaians a bit jumpy, yes?
Once I finally gave the entirety of the packet a quick read over I sat it down giving a glance to my, by now, very familiar set that we used for “Predator Problems”, the entire reason for why I had started it had been to educate and warn people about what to do with predators and the like. Now I was going to have to educate them, apparently, about the fact that our “brothers” in species so to speak were having a bit of topsy-turvy time on their capital planet. Now I was kinda hoping I was one of the more conspiracy theorist nut jobs just so I didn't have to get contacted.
Resigning myself to fate, and the fact that apparently I of all Vens was the most level headed to announce this, I looked over the studio, eventually finding the small group of uniformed men again. I got up and out of the chair as I made my way over to them, flicking my tail into a questioning sign as I did so, my approaching presence quickly noticed.
“Seems like you've got some questions, you read the packet though yeah?” One of them said, I simply signaled a yes with my ears to respond.
“So, is this immediately being aired? Or is it being aired later on tomorrow-well, this paw? Should it be the first thing or the last thing or is it the only thing I'm doing for this one?” With these questions the small clique seemed to talk in-between themselves, small glances were made in my general direction, they seemed to come to some type of conclusion though as they turned back to me, the bereted one now taking center stage again once more.
“Yes. It's being immediately aired. You do realize you are a bit of a celebrity on Gaia, yes? A special breaking news from you would certainly draw the right eyes. Then it'll spread from there. We do have other stuff for you to read, but it'll appear on the prompter. Other than that though we'll take our leave once everything is said and done.”
I gave a small thanks to Solgalik, as that would mean I would be able to go back home and get at least a claw or two of rest. Speh, if I just slept here I could get an extra one easy. But I didn't have much time to dwell on that, instead I apparently had a job to do right now.
With that bit of information I decided to go around, talking to the crew, who as of this point has finally settled down and has stopped scattering from the Gaians. A small conversation with each helped us plan out the next few tantalizingly painful minutes that were about to unfold live on air.
With everything and everyone in place, I took my seat at the curved table in the middle of the cameras, getting my little tie ready. With a countdown from 3, I settled into my on screen persona as the red lights of the cameras went on.
“Good Paw to everyone tuning in! I'm your host as always, Rux Limpbut, and this is Predator problems. This time though, we do have some breaking news that we need to get to. So with that being said, I suppose it's time for me to get to it.”
I straightened my back, placing my paws firmly as I closed my eyes, breathing in and then opening my eyes again.
Alright. Just gotta break the news that the head of state of the other half of our Commonwealth is dead and their Army just decided to seize power for democracy's sake.
“I have some sad, and what some can and should be saying is unsettling, news. Sole Speaker Jikem of the Gaian Cooperative, has died earlier this paw. Details are scarce and hard to come by as of this point, but from preliminary reports and investigations, it seems as though he *may* have been assassinated while at a checkpoint. As many of you know he was elected on a lockstep ticket with the current governor of Venlil Prime, Veln. He oversaw the last closing years of the Dominion-Federation war, as well as the beginning of closer federation ties. Many people are bound to ask as of this point what is going to happen, and the easiest and most truthful answer is…we don't know.”
I shuffled some papers, discarding the packet to the side of the table before continuing on with the information I was to spout out.
“Already reports are coming in that the Armed Forces of Gaia have declared a state of emergency and already there are rumblings that they have formed… an emergency government?”
I gave a bit of a confused look before continuing, I could see the group of uniformed Gaians nodding as I did so, apparently that was good enough for them.
The rest of the news report was generally a bit unsettling, or at least info packed by many people's standards. Updates on the federation at large, some reports on the status of the Venian Commonwealth and what was the plan going forward and before I knew it the red blinking light on the cameras had vanished, and the lights overhead had dimmed.
“Alright, that's good for us. We'll have one of our guys stay over the paw to help your team edit it but other than that? You can head on home.” The bereted one informed me, before signalling to one of the clique, most likely the one to stay here and “help” us edit.
I rested back in my chair and closed my eyes, I think it was time for me to get some shuteye.
—----------
Smoke billows out from the mouth of the Uniformed figure, a lit cigar cradled in his claws. He takes a survey of the trio gathered in front of him.
“So.” The figure grunts out, leaning back into his chair.
“So, what?” One of the trio asks inquisitively, shifting in their seat.
“So now what? Not many paws you get to make a masterstroke of a situation like this. Sole speaker is dead, people are looking to any type of stability and we perfectly fill the slot.” The Uniformed figure takes the cigar up to his mouth, smoking it lightly.
“Well there are numerous concerns.” The most center of the trio speak.
“Like what to do with those brahking predators that apparently still exist.” To the right of the first speaker.
“I vote we integrate them posthaste!” And finally the one on the other end.
A thick billowing cloud of smoke escapes the lips of the Uniformed figure, fidgeting for a moment before rolling forward. His face now fully lit.
“Gentlemen. Calm down. We have plenty of problems with plenty of solutions. But that's why you put me in charge of this little emergency government anyhow right? Levelheaded, warhero, clean political record.”
The trio murmur for a moment before returning a nod, the middle one piping up as he did so.
“Yes, that is why we decided to throw our towel in with you Marshal.”
The Uniformed figure now places his elbows on the table, his paws bridging each other while the cigar is still in-between in his paws.
“That's Marshal-at-Arms Jyuvernik to you. Now where were we? Ah right. The Dark corner. I want you to send a diplomatic team to assess the cattle debacle.”
submitted by DukeOfDerpington to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
As always, all credits for the original Nature of Predators and it's content goes to Space Paladin15, thank him for allowing artist and writers to use his original work of art for their own uses.
Gaian Ref Sheet-Here, Done by the artist
As well as a *Huge* thank you for Julian Skys for filling in for the editor for this chapter. I'll post a comment as to why I haven't been posting too much, safe to say though, kept ya waiting huh?
Date [Standardized Galactic(?) Time]:August 1st, 2136
Now I'm regretting not taking that transfer last week. This just keeps getting better.
I was in my car outside of the Network’s station. I was at my wits end yesterday and was trying my damnedest *not* to freak out on air. Now? Now I had the pleasure of my network telling me they needed me to come in way early to report on some breaking news. Just as I was about to leave for Solgaliks sake!
I took a small sip of the “coffee”. Now this was a blessing, coffeehouses on Gaia were open paw around, no matter what. I was giving a small prayer to those “ancestors” for their love of anything strong. Well, anything strong that wasn't alcohol. They could stomach one drink or two but after that? They were out.
Slurrrrrp
I let out a relieved sigh as the warm liquid flowed down my maw, the reward of caffeine soon following after this. Hopefully in time for the recording. With that I opened the door, grabbing my briefcase as I greedily drank the rest of the coffee as I approached the wide doors of the Networks station.
They creaked a little as they always did as I appeared in the doorway, a sleepy, overworked ghost. I tossed the coffee cup into the trashcan by the door as I nodded over the after work plans that I had to either postpone, or completely not do.
No bar time, going to be too tired. Not going to have enough time to do more digging in what that Farsulian diplomat released, even after it's been nearly two months. Brahk. Still need to be ready for the shift tomorrow-
“Rux?” The front desk secretary pulled me up and out of my thoughts as I blinked a couple of times, my ears raising as one of my eyes focused on her, a bit frizzled from the overtime I was clocking at the moment.
“Hm? Oh. Hey Liakal, caught me off guard almost as bad as the padcall I got. What's up?” I rubbed my eye as I fully focused on her, making my way over to her.
“Well, whenever you're ready for them they'll give you all you need, apparently, when you get into the studio. What they told me is uh, it's not a pleasant amount of news.” She nervously played with her claws and her headset, her lips quivering a bit.
“That bad? Speh. What about that uh, guest? She gets off-”
“O-oh! Mrs Tarva. She got off the planet easily. I can't say anything else though Rux. They said whatever they have to tell is very, very pertinent not to be let loose until you broadcast it… sorry Rux.”
I patted the top of the semi circle desk that Liakal was sat into, before giving her a quick, albeit small smile with a finger gun before I quickly deflated. It was that bad. With a nod from me I departed into the hallway to the left of the front desk, approaching one of the elevators.
A button press, a chime and the feeling of gravity and anxiousness about to make me hurl later, I was on the floor with the studios. I retraced the steps I had taken only claws before to mine. The green sign saying “Predator Problems” told me I hadn't failed as usual. Something had to be done with our program and segment name, if for nothing else there was apparently much more juicy stuff to talk about.
Opening the door, I expected the hustling and scrambling of the cameramen, the lighting crew, audio specialists. But nothing except a small huddled group of uniformed men. Brahk, I was hoping this wasn't the case but I was never that lucky. I resigned myself to fate as the group finally paid attention to me, and the door clicking and shutting behind me.
“Mr. Rux. Please come over here and sit. You're all good, we just need to go over what we need you to announce in this upcoming impromptu broadcast.” Why the hell were the Gaians on Prime? Wait no. That's not the problem. Why are officers from their military here? Oh stars.
However I could feel my body coming towards the oval shaped table. Eventually knocking into a chair and pulling it out, resting my briefcase onto the ground and taking a seat, pulling up to the desk. I rested my paws on it as I gave a look to the group assembled around it.
All were wearing roughly the same uniform, their fur patterns one of the only differing things between them. Aside from the one at the end of the table. They wore a green beret atop their head, nestled in between the horns that adorned it. They cleared their throat and slid a small packet of papers towards me, startling me a tiny bit.
“While I wish to be polite and respectful, there's simply no way to say this without being blunt. Sole Speaker Jikem is dead. With the current atmosphere on Gaia we thought it'd be best to announce the formation of an emergency government and a leader to head it. All of which has been done in a roundabout manner so as to not alert any radicals or terrorists.”
I had only taken a cursory glance at the front of the small packet before that bombshell of an information was dropped onto me nonchalantly. My paw was halfway to the front page to turn it before my gaze looked up at the Gaian at the end of the oval table who had done so.
“What? Sorry can you-”
“Rux. Come on, you know what I said. Now, I know it isn't everypaw that you get to report on the death of a head of state, let alone be the first one to do so. I'll most certainly give you that. So, we'll give you some time alone…well mostly, to get acquainted with the packet and once you and your crew are roaring to go we'll release the news to the Commonwealth.”
I took a small lookover of the second page but had to pause for a short moment again as I took it in. Yes, yes I did have some questions. Half from the large info dropped on me and the other half that I was now reading with my very own eyes now.
Before they could fully get up I had worked up the courage to get a short clearing of the throat and read out of the lines in the packet out aloud after I had decided it would be better to ask now rather than after. “In conjunction with recent attacks the Armed forces has decided to-” I put down the packet in its entirety now.
“What in the stars could you possibly mean by “safeguarding” democracy? This just seems to be some type of justification for a military takeover. I mean, who's going to fall for this?”
The chairs of the small clique of officers seem to find themselves filled once more as they returned to their positions, most of them now gazing between me, some random crew member scurrying near me and the head honcho with the green beret.
The intensity of the stare of the Gaian at the opposite end of the table seemed to intensify, seemingly his gaze looking through me. “Mr. Rux, I can assure you any such speculation to that matter and that, frankly, justified if albeit imaginary fear is going to be the last thing people on Gaia are going to worry about. Alright?”
I anxiously nodded back, sighing. “L-look I'm just-”
The Bereted officer seemed to nod while holding up his paw, my line of reasoning and thought being stopped by the intrusion. “Worried, you ancestors are always worried. It's why we're here, yes? Anything too dangerous or otherwise unsafe we've always volunteered for so as to save our more cultured self from such. Think about this announcement like that. A warning and an update from our side of the Commonwealth about current affairs, nothing more, nothing less.”
With that it seemed settled for the time being, as the small clique once again rose, and this time was actually able to depart to the booth that overlooked the studio, keeping what I was sure to guess a keen pair of eyes to observe anything.
I settled into my seat more as I gave the small packet a read. It was general stuff as of this point when it came to announcements. Why it's happening, what happened in more details, what they planned to do in the upcoming future, all that juicy stuff. Overall a very plain, if very informative script to go by. Still, being the first to announce the death of a head of state via “Unnatural Causes” would make even some of the most resolved Gaians a bit jumpy, yes?
Once I finally gave the entirety of the packet a quick read over I sat it down giving a glance to my, by now, very familiar set that we used for “Predator Problems”, the entire reason for why I had started it had been to educate and warn people about what to do with predators and the like. Now I was going to have to educate them, apparently, about the fact that our “brothers” in species so to speak were having a bit of topsy-turvy time on their capital planet. Now I was kinda hoping I was one of the more conspiracy theorist nut jobs just so I didn't have to get contacted.
Resigning myself to fate, and the fact that apparently I of all Vens was the most level headed to announce this, I looked over the studio, eventually finding the small group of uniformed men again. I got up and out of the chair as I made my way over to them, flicking my tail into a questioning sign as I did so, my approaching presence quickly noticed.
“Seems like you've got some questions, you read the packet though yeah?” One of them said, I simply signaled a yes with my ears to respond.
“So, is this immediately being aired? Or is it being aired later on tomorrow-well, this paw? Should it be the first thing or the last thing or is it the only thing I'm doing for this one?” With these questions the small clique seemed to talk in-between themselves, small glances were made in my general direction, they seemed to come to some type of conclusion though as they turned back to me, the bereted one now taking center stage again once more.
“Yes. It's being immediately aired. You do realize you are a bit of a celebrity on Gaia, yes? A special breaking news from you would certainly draw the right eyes. Then it'll spread from there. We do have other stuff for you to read, but it'll appear on the prompter. Other than that though we'll take our leave once everything is said and done.”
I gave a small thanks to Solgalik, as that would mean I would be able to go back home and get at least a claw or two of rest. Speh, if I just slept here I could get an extra one easy. But I didn't have much time to dwell on that, instead I apparently had a job to do right now.
With that bit of information I decided to go around, talking to the crew, who as of this point has finally settled down and has stopped scattering from the Gaians. A small conversation with each helped us plan out the next few tantalizingly painful minutes that were about to unfold live on air.
With everything and everyone in place, I took my seat at the curved table in the middle of the cameras, getting my little tie ready. With a countdown from 3, I settled into my on screen persona as the red lights of the cameras went on.
“Good Paw to everyone tuning in! I'm your host as always, Rux Limpbut, and this is Predator problems. This time though, we do have some breaking news that we need to get to. So with that being said, I suppose it's time for me to get to it.”
I straightened my back, placing my paws firmly as I closed my eyes, breathing in and then opening my eyes again.
Alright. Just gotta break the news that the head of state of the other half of our Commonwealth is dead and their Army just decided to seize power for democracy's sake.
“I have some sad, and what some can and should be saying is unsettling, news. Sole Speaker Jikem of the Gaian Cooperative, has died earlier this paw. Details are scarce and hard to come by as of this point, but from preliminary reports and investigations, it seems as though he *may* have been assassinated while at a checkpoint. As many of you know he was elected on a lockstep ticket with the current governor of Venlil Prime, Veln. He oversaw the last closing years of the Dominion-Federation war, as well as the beginning of closer federation ties. Many people are bound to ask as of this point what is going to happen, and the easiest and most truthful answer is…we don't know.”
I shuffled some papers, discarding the packet to the side of the table before continuing on with the information I was to spout out.
“Already reports are coming in that the Armed Forces of Gaia have declared a state of emergency and already there are rumblings that they have formed… an emergency government?”
I gave a bit of a confused look before continuing, I could see the group of uniformed Gaians nodding as I did so, apparently that was good enough for them.
The rest of the news report was generally a bit unsettling, or at least info packed by many people's standards. Updates on the federation at large, some reports on the status of the Venian Commonwealth and what was the plan going forward and before I knew it the red blinking light on the cameras had vanished, and the lights overhead had dimmed.
“Alright, that's good for us. We'll have one of our guys stay over the paw to help your team edit it but other than that? You can head on home.” The bereted one informed me, before signalling to one of the clique, most likely the one to stay here and “help” us edit.
I rested back in my chair and closed my eyes, I think it was time for me to get some shuteye.
—----------
Smoke billows out from the mouth of the Uniformed figure, a lit cigar cradled in his claws. He takes a survey of the trio gathered in front of him.
“So.” The figure grunts out, leaning back into his chair.
“So, what?” One of the trio asks inquisitively, shifting in their seat.
“So now what? Not many paws you get to make a masterstroke of a situation like this. Sole speaker is dead, people are looking to any type of stability and we perfectly fill the slot.” The Uniformed figure takes the cigar up to his mouth, smoking it lightly.
“Well there are numerous concerns.” The most center of the trio speak.
“Like what to do with those brahking predators that apparently still exist.” To the right of the first speaker.
“I vote we integrate them posthaste!” And finally the one on the other end.
A thick billowing cloud of smoke escapes the lips of the Uniformed figure, fidgeting for a moment before rolling forward. His face now fully lit.
“Gentlemen. Calm down. We have plenty of problems with plenty of solutions. But that's why you put me in charge of this little emergency government anyhow right? Levelheaded, warhero, clean political record.”
The trio murmur for a moment before returning a nod, the middle one piping up as he did so.
“Yes, that is why we decided to throw our towel in with you Marshal.”
The Uniformed figure now places his elbows on the table, his paws bridging each other while the cigar is still in-between in his paws.
“That's Marshal-at-Arms Jyuvernik to you. Now where were we? Ah right. The Dark corner. I want you to send a diplomatic team to assess the cattle debacle.”
2024.05.14 03:43 heydawn TODAY'S RECAP 5-13-2024
TODAY'S RECAP
Sheila loves that she got to spook Li and delights in anticipation of revealing herself to the Forresters. We see the aftermath of Steffy, Ridge, and Liam accepting the truth. Neither Finn or Deacon knows their partners as well as they think they do.Deacon and Sheila at Deacon's
Sheila: I'm glad I went to the hospital. Nothing was more fun than scaring the bejesus out of Li! 😄 (Sheila can't stop giggling). It couldn't have been more perfect -- Li being there. Hahaha!Deacon: She was furiously attacking you, tryna send you to the grave, for real.
Sheila: I know! It was so much fucking fun! More fun than I've had in a long time. 😆 Poor Li, she was just jealous that Finn couldn't let me stay dead and felt compelled to save me! Hahahaha. Li couldn't take it! (💭 Suck it, Li!)
I know. I know. People wish me dead all the damned time. IDGAF. I'm used to it! 😏
Deacon: This is going to keep happening if you keep popping up 👻 and surprising people. 😛 You're going to get a similar reaction to Li 🤯😡😤💥 Hey, how about trying subtle?
Sheila: Fuck that. I like to go BIG! 😆 I expect people to react like Li. I'm looking forward to it. 😏 I can't wait! Hahaha. 😂🤣
Who will be most shocked? Brooke 😫 or Ridge 😡? Oooh, I sooo wanna roll on up into Eric's place. 👏👏👏 Whoooey! Fun! 🎉 Donna is a screamer! 😮 (💭 These bitches will all freak out beautifully in a perfect combination of shock 😳, fear 🫣, loathing 😠, and disbelief 😦. Hahaha. Yay! 🤸♀️).
It was so perfect how Li was just there. How can I orchestrate my reveal to the Forresters for maximum shock? 😀 I can pop in at FC and be the model who walks in to see Ridge for alterations! Hahaha! HAAAA! 🤭
Deacon: Does "changed'" Sheila just wanna shock people? (💭 Sheila Sheila Sheila. Gotta try to control the crazy 😵💫).
Sheila: OMG! You're no FUN! It's just a little SHOCK 😱. Not HARM! 😏 (💭 I'm not going to chop up 🪓, hang or tie up ➰, stab 🔪, drown 🌊, or shoot 🔫 anybody. I'm not going to set anyone's house on fire🔥 or chain ⛓️ them up in a dungeon ⛓️! I'm not going to kidnap any babies or children 👦👶👧, or trick anyone into getting my face 🙂. I'm not going to break in to anyone's home 🏠! That was the old Sheila! No one will end up murdered, kidnapped, bloody🩸, or otherwise injured 🤕, ffs! Gah! Calm down! It's just a little mischief 🙄😏).
I just want to have a little fun 🥳. Come on! Nothing nefarious 👿. Just prankster fun 🤪😝!
Deacon: So remember the nice, chill, mellow, 😌 happy, calm, quiet life we discussed? (💭 Imagine being a stoner and our biggest stressor is getting the munchies 🍕🥪🍚🍪🍰🥯🍟🥨when we're out of snacks and our favorite places are closed.) No fantasies about scaring 👻 people and getting reactions from the Forresters. Let's get back to us, our engagement, and our nice, quiet life. (Deacon, Reddit wonders if you actually KNOW Sheila 🤔).
Sheila: Ppffrrtt. (💭 Alright, fine, we'll seeeeeee😏.)
(Sheila and Deacon laugh 😄😀 and smoochy smoochy kissy kissy 😍🥰. Then Sheila is snuggled up with Deacon getting a shoulder massage.)
Sheila: I missed this. 😍 I missed you and thought about you the whole time. I didn't think I'd be back here. I was thisclose to 💀.
But, here I am! With you and my imaginary ring. 👋💍 😀 WOW!
Deacon: 🙄 No more pretending. I want everyone to know how in love 😍💕 I am with you. 🥰 (More smoochy smoochy 😘🥰.)
Hope, Ridge, and Liam at FC
Ridge and Liam: Sheila! Changed? 🤨 Wha? 😦Nah. Nope. No. No fucking way! 😠 Is Finn crazy? 😵💫 Delusional? Stupid? Wtf is his problem? 😤Ridge: You must have gotten it wrong. It can't be.
Hope: No. Sheila is--
Ridge: NOOOOOOO! Grrrr. 😠 Gah! 😦 Not about SHEILA. I know. I KNOW. 🤨 I get it. I heard you. Sheila's alive. Fuck. But whatever. No. I mean about the other thing -- Finn idiotically thinking this is GOOD news. Growl! Huff! Puff! 😤On what planet could he POSSIBLY believe this is good news? How clueless is he?
Liam: (quickly hopping on the anti-Finn train 🚂) Yah. Yah. I mean, seriously. Hope. How could Finn POSSIBLY think,💡🤔 with NO ❌ evidence, that psychopath Sheila 👿 is reformed 😇? Wtf?!
Hope: He has reasons. He--
Ridge: REASONS!? REASONS?! 😮 Snarl! 😡 What fucking REASONS?!
Hope: He says she's changed. He's seen her growth. 🌱 He's seen her sprout angel 😇 wings 🪽. He's seen a new and improved Sheila.
Liam: Give me a fucking break! It's pure foolishness 🥴 and personal bias! 😦 Gah! Just because the BABY MANCHILD has a childish need to have a relationship with his birth mommy, he's latched onto a fantasy that this demon 👿 psycho has reformed. (💭 Don't worry, Steffy 💕. I'll be your fall back guy.).
It's NOT REALITY! (💭 I'm really postering now, showing off to Ridge, matching him huff for puff! 😤).
Ridge: Yah! Grrrr. Harumph! 😤😡 What's gotten into this guy? 🤨 Growl! 😦 Sheila is an ANIMAL! Grrr! 😦 Animals don't change! Snort! 😤 Spiders 🕷️, snakes⚕️, reptiles 🐊, monsters 🧟♀️👺👿 like Sheila never change!
Hope: I felt the same way. (💭 I even gave up on a relationship with my dad ☹️ when he wouldn't break it off with Sheila.) But after seeing 👀 them together 💕, maybe we should keep an open mind 😐. People said the same thing about Thomas, that he--
Ridge: 🤨 You DID NOT. You DID NOT just FUCKING GO THERE (💭 bitch!) Growl! 😡 Snarl! 😦 Snort 😤! Grrrr. You DID NOT just COMPARE my TALENTED, KIND, LOVING, REFORMED SON (some Redditors say you forgot enabled, entitled, obsessed, dangerous, and consequence free son) to that PSYCHOPATH SHEILA?! OMFG! 🤬
Hope: I'm not saying they're the same. 🫤🙄 (💭 Gah. Eye roll. Patience with the neanderthal. Deep breath.) I'm just saying people can change. So we could just possibly, maybe open the door a teeny, tiny 🤏 bit and entertain the possibility that Finn could possibly be right.
Ridge: You AGREE with (💭 the loser idiot) FINN about that psycho 🫨 Sheila?! What the fucking fuck, Hope?! (💭 Are you crazy and stupid too? Where's Brooke? I can't deal with you, ffs.😠)
Look, Finn has a weird ass connection to Sheila. But WTF, Hope. What's up with YOU? 🤔
Liam: 🤨
Hope: I explained. Sugar was planning to harm 🪓➰🔪🩸 Steffy. Sheila tried to stop her.
Liam: Hearsay. This story of Sheila fighting Sugar came from the least reliable source -- Sheila! (💭 Reddit hates to admit it, but Liam has a point). Sheila told you this story. You, Finn, and Deacon just accept it at face value.
But all we know for sure is that SHEILA didn't attack 🔪 Steffy. Sugar did. That doesn't mean Sheila has changed. It just means there were TWO psychos! 😵💫🫨 (Reddit really doesn't want to give Liam credit but kinda gotta suck it up and admit, he's making good points.)
Hope: Deacon and Finn think she HAS changed.
Ridge: Hope. (💭 Whooo boy. I have no patience under normal circumstances. 😑 This is WILDLY FRUSTRATING AF! 😡). Everything Sheila says is a LIE! It's all for show. Gah! 😦 Come ON!
Hope: For--
Ridge and Liam: FOR FINN! FOR FINN! OMFG! 😨
Ridge: She's feeding him the fantasy HE WANTS! Now, she's supposed to be mother of the year, ffs?! Growl! Snarl! 😡 Nah!
Hope: I'm not saying we just accept it. I'm just asking that we keep an open mind, for Finn's sake. (💭 Reddit wonders why Hope doesn't just wrap it up and extricate herself from this whole thing! She should just say ' I gave you the news. Talk to Finn. Byeeee.' Reddit says get out of there, Hope. It's been a looooooooooooooong af day!)
Look, I'm starting to see Finn's side. If indeed Sheila has changed, why shouldn't he want a relationship with her?
Ridge: NOT gonna HAPPEN. 🤨 😡 (Reddit thinks Ridge must have taken a few pointers from Victor Newman only Ridge is way louder.) Finn wants Sheila in their lives. Steffy's not gonna allow it.🫸❌ Absolutely not. ❌ No way. ❌ No how. ❌ Never. Ever. Gonna happen. ❌ Nope. ❌ Nah! ❌ Forget about it! ❌
Liam: Ohhh. Yah! Righ! After what she's endured being MARRIED to this guy who has some bullshit, primal connection to his psycho 🫨 birth mother. Now he wants to invite Sheila into her life? Well, he doesn't GET STEFFY! Steffy will NEVER allow it. She'll draw a line ➖in the sand. The stop 🛑 sign will go up. The hands will push 🫸 back 🫸 hard 🫸.
FINN DOESN'T KNOW STEFFY -- like AT ALL! (💭 Not like I know Steffy and love 😍 Steffy, and will protect Steffy 👩❤️👨.)
Ridge: 🤨
Hope: 🙄
Finn and Steffy at their home
Steffy: (it all sinks in) It wasn't Sheila I stabbed 🔪. 😣 It was a look-a-like, Sugar. 😖 I stabbed Sugar -- some woman who was tricked into plastic surgery to look like Sheila. What?! 🤯Finn: Yah, babe. Isn't that a good thing? 🙂 Isn't that GREAT? 😀 Isn't that a relief? 😀 Isn't that a HUGE weight lifted? 😃 Aren't you thrilled 🤩, happy 😁, and bursting with joy 😊? I know I am. We thought you killed my birth mother, but you stabbed a totally different psycho! Pretty cool, huh? 🙄😃
Steffy: 🥺😠😡 (💭 Wow. OMG. Finn thinks I should be relieved? WTF?!)
Finn: Sugar kidnapped ➰⛓️ Sheila. If Deacon and I hadn't gotten there to SAVE her, she might not have survived, honey! This is SUCH AMAZINGLY AWESOME 👍 NEWS!
Steffy: So YOU think I'm supposed to be THANKFUL this monster 👿 is alive?! Are you fucking serious?! 😖😟
Finn: Nah. But yah. Isn't a small 🤏 part of you thankful? 🙄
Steffy: No. 😕
Finn: Relieved? 😀
Steffy: No. ☹️
Finn: Happy for me? 🙂
Steffy: No. 😣
Finn: Honey, babe, sweetheart, listen. We were struggling with the fact that you killed my birth mother, but we don't have to anymore. (💭 I know if I reframe this the right way, Steffy will have an ah ha 💡moment 😀 and feel relief. I just have to find the right words. I have faith 🙏 in us. I'm not even a little bit delusional.🥴 I know Steffy has a good and forgiving heart ❤️. She's just in shock 😳 and horrified 😱 and her mind is blown 🤯. But this will subside. 🙂 I'll just keep talking in a soothing voice. Yah!)
You killed someone who hated Sheila. Sugar was crazy. She wanted to hurt YOU to hurt HER. Get it? (💭 Sugar was the REALLY bad 👹 one. Sheila is a RECOVERING psycho! Big difference! 😀)
Steffy: So I'm supposed to be ooooh all happy and shit that psycho A is dead and psycho B is alive? 🤔 Nah! Finn, I'ma speak slowly so you can understand me when I tell you, NO I'm not happy or relieved or whatever tf you want me to be -- because the DANGER IS BACK! (💭 This man has the THICKEST, HARDEST HEAD! Fucking hell. He's freaking me out so badly that Dawn can't even find any emojis to express the emotional wreckage on my face! Anger, disbelief, confusion, fear, stress, anxiety, frustration -- all the feels!)
Finn: Nah. It's not back! That's the glorious, wonderful, amazing, beautiful, exciting, magnificent 😀😃😄😁 thing I'm just not adequately conveying to you, my love! No fear or danger! Sheila tried to PROTECT YOU. She tried to SAVE YOUR LIFE! She's your best friend ever! She wants to get pedicures together, not shoot us and leave us for dead! She's past that nonsense now. No more danger, honey! ☺️💕
She offered her own life to save you! She tried to fight Sugar. She loves us!
Steffy: Look. 🤨 Sugar's scheme was to blame Sheila. So, Sheila was just selfishly protecting HERSELF from getting blamed. That's all it was! (💭 If I just reframe this the right way, Finn will have an ah ha 💡 moment. He has to! I just have to find the right words to get through his thick skull and penetrate his delusional thinking. He's really worrying me and pissing me off. Wow. Just wow.)
Finn: Nah. She offered her own life! She cares more about us than her own life. SHEILA'S A HERO! Super Sheila🦸♀️ to the rescue, only she was chained up ⛓️ and fighting at a disadvantage, but she tried!
Steffy: Hero? HERO? 🤢🤮 You're calling SHEILA fucking psycho CARTER a HERO? Are you on crack? 😮 She tried to KILL🩸us. (💭 He's gone off the deep end into LA LA land 🤪.)
Finn: When Sugar told her--
Steffy: (Angry 😡 and frustrated 😖, Steffy Slams a chair 🪑💥 hard on the floor.) I DON'T GIVE AF ABOUT SUGAR!!! I don't CARE about her!!! 😦😣 She means NOTHING TO ME!!! (💭 STFU Finn! OMFG! Ahhhh! I have NO PATIENCE LEFT for his delusional BULLSHIT! I can't seem to get through to him! Why tf won't he LISTEN??!! 🤬)
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SHEILA! 😠
S H E I L A !! 😡
We've been over this a ZILLION TIMES how she had terrorized my family for generations! How do you not GET IT?
Finn: I do. I underst--
Steffy: NO YOU DO NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND!!!! 😡😤 GENERATIONS! GENERATIONS! That vile bitch is a LUNATIC! 😵💫🫨😈
(Steffy pleads 😫 with Finn in frustration 😖😣 to comprehend.)
She tried to KILL ME! And my MOTHER! And my GRANDMOTHER! 😩
I lost TIME with my mother! 😩 I lost TIME with YOU! 😫😣
She's tried to POISON people. So, even if she did try some feeble attempt to get that other stupid psychopath friend not to hurt me, SO FUCKING WHAT?!
NO! NO! NO NO NO NO! 😡 She's NO HERO! I NEVER want to hear you say that AGAIN! (💭 La La La La I can't hear you! I won't hear you! NO!)
Finn: 😑😞 (shakes his head. 💭 She's not getting it.)
Steffy: 😡😖 (shakes her head. 💭 He's lost his mind.)
Steffy: Do you hear me? She's vile. She is in no way a HERO! 😠 She left us in an ALLEY to DIE! What are you thinking? 😩
Finn: Yah yah. I knoooow. I know her past sins. She's made some mistakes 😒, some bad judgement calls🙄, she's been kind of a mess 🫤. She hasn't always put her best foot forward. She hasn't always been super thoughtful. Sure, she's wanted a lot of people dead 💀, but that was THEN and this is NOW! She's been working on herself. She's very into self help these days, and yoga and shit. The fact is she tried to save you!
Steffy: Don't CHALLENGE ME on FACTS ABOUT SHEILA! I'll give YOU the fucking FACTS Mr. Man! 😡 You will lose.
Finn: How about the handy dandy fact that she's alive and you didn't kill my birth mother? ☺️ That matters to me! I'm your husband (takes Steffy's hand). You're the most important person 💕 in the world 🌎 to me. But my birth mother was a mystery. I almost lost her. I just want to help her. I don't want to turn my back on her. 😟 (💭 She's kind of a hoot too, and stubborn and strong, kinda like someone else I love! ❤️)
Steffy: (looking miserable 😖) But you have to. I love you. 😢God, I love you! ❤️ (💭 And my heart is breaking 💔 right now.) You are SO GOOD! But Sheila is EVIL 👹. You are naive (💭 delusional) to think she'll change, that she won't devestate our lives.
Sheila is NOT going to be IN OUR LIVES, no where near Kelly or Hayes.
You can't have BOTH. 😟
It's either HER.
Or ME. 😐
Finn: 😕I hear you. Of COURSE it's YOU. It will always be you. ❤️ (Steffy and Finn share an emotional embrace, both with weary 😞, teary 😥, worried 🥺 expressions. They hold on to each other, emotionally spent.)
The end.
2024.05.14 02:12 SeasonNo2239 8mm natural filters?
I have been looking for 8mm filters that are not made from plastic. I have found a few 6mm natural fibre filters, and I cannot understand why not in 8mm. Is 8mm for tobacco/cigarettes irregular?
I tried the 8mm RAW cotton filters, and experienced zero draw. I tried unpacking the densely packed filter, hastily got annoyed and regretfully threw the whole bag out thinking “how could they sell a product that does not work?”
I tried to get Arango organic filters, but the one site that carries them does not deliver outside the US, and the other site is a wholesaler. I am in Canada.
I tried to order from Mr Tipps for their bamboo corn filter. This product looks pretty cool. But there is a website error that prevents me from completing the order while checking out. And they are unresponsive to emails.
In the meantime I have been stuffing bits of cotton in pre rolled tips. But this is pretty tedious. Am I S.O.L.? I moved to RYO for a cleaner smoke. Tobacco, paper, filter. And there does not seem to be a market for filters made from a non plastic material. Cotton, paper, corn, etc.
I would genuinely like to understand why not? I am blue collar, and it seems like most smokers around me are only interested in the cheapest smoke they can get and don’t care what is in it or what it is made from or even how bad the smoke is. I would think smoking through a plastic filter would be undesirable.
I would move to just pre rolled paper tips, but I get tongue bite when smoking without filters, and loose tobacco falls out. Perhaps I could dry the tobacco a bit more, and try a slower draw more like cigar smoking. I don’t know.
Any suggestions? Thank you.
submitted by SeasonNo2239 to RYO [link] [comments]
I tried the 8mm RAW cotton filters, and experienced zero draw. I tried unpacking the densely packed filter, hastily got annoyed and regretfully threw the whole bag out thinking “how could they sell a product that does not work?”
I tried to get Arango organic filters, but the one site that carries them does not deliver outside the US, and the other site is a wholesaler. I am in Canada.
I tried to order from Mr Tipps for their bamboo corn filter. This product looks pretty cool. But there is a website error that prevents me from completing the order while checking out. And they are unresponsive to emails.
In the meantime I have been stuffing bits of cotton in pre rolled tips. But this is pretty tedious. Am I S.O.L.? I moved to RYO for a cleaner smoke. Tobacco, paper, filter. And there does not seem to be a market for filters made from a non plastic material. Cotton, paper, corn, etc.
I would genuinely like to understand why not? I am blue collar, and it seems like most smokers around me are only interested in the cheapest smoke they can get and don’t care what is in it or what it is made from or even how bad the smoke is. I would think smoking through a plastic filter would be undesirable.
I would move to just pre rolled paper tips, but I get tongue bite when smoking without filters, and loose tobacco falls out. Perhaps I could dry the tobacco a bit more, and try a slower draw more like cigar smoking. I don’t know.
Any suggestions? Thank you.
2024.05.14 01:23 snarkily- [H] Games + Some big titles [W] Paypal, Trades
Hi! As the title implies, I have amassed quite a large collection of games and am looking to trade or sell some of them.
Here is my Wishlist for reference: Steam Wishlist
The games, alphabetized, are as follows:
submitted by snarkily- to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]
Here is my Wishlist for reference: Steam Wishlist
The games, alphabetized, are as follows:
- .HACK/G.U. LAST RECODE
- 112 Operator
- 911 Operator
- A Juggler's Tale
- A Story Beside
- Aces & Adventures
- Aliens: Fireteam Elite
- Ambition: A Minuet in Power
- Amnesia: Rebirth
- Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Machine for Pigs
- Arcade Paradise
- Banners of Ruin
- Black Skylands
- Blade Assault
- Book of Demons
- Broken Age
- Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
- Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
- Builder Simulator
- Call of the Sea
- Chicken Police (Paint it Red!)
- Children of Silentown
- Citizen Sleeper
- Code Vein
- Conan Chop Chop
- Crying Suns
- Curse of the Dead Gods
- Dagon: By HP Lovecraft -- The Eldritch Box DLC
- Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
- Deceive Inc
- Demon Turf
- Destroy All Humans 2! Reprobed
- Destroyer: The U-boat Hunter
- Disciples: Liberation
- Draw Slasher
- Drawful 2
- Driftland: The Magic Revival
- Dungeon of the Endless
- DV: Rings of Saturn
- EarthX
- Edge of Eternity
- Eldest Souls
- Elex II
- Embr
- Encased
- Eternal Threads
- Evan's Remains
- Expeditions: Rome
- Expeditions: Viking
- First Class Trouble
- Fobia: St. Difina Hotel
- Foretales
- Founder's Fortune
- Friends Vs. Friends
- From Space
- Gameguru
- Go Home Dinosaurs
- God Eater 3
- Golden Light
- Golf Gang
- Greedfall
- Grime: Tinge of Terror
- Grow: Song of the Evertree
- Hardspace: Shipbreaker
- Hero's Hour
- Hexologic
- Homeworld Remastered Collection
- Homeworld: Deserts of Kharak
- Honey, I Joined a Cult
- Hot Brass
- If Found...
- In Sound Mind
- Inmost
- Iron Danger
- Kaichu - The Kaiju Dating Sim
- Killsquad
- Kraken Academy!!
- Last Call BBS
- Later Daters
- Lawn Mowing Simulator
- Life is Strange: True Colors
- Lords and Villains
- Lust for Darkness
- Lust from Beyond: M Edition
- Magicka
- Meeple Station
- Merchant of the Skies
- Metal Hellsinger
- Midnight Fight Express
- Mind Scanners
- Monaco
- Monster Train First Class + DLC
- Moon Hunters
- Mr. Prepper
- Nebuchadnezzar
- NecroWorm
- Neverout
- Nex Machina
- Nobody Saves the World
- Oaken
- Olli Olli World
- OMNO
- Operation: Tango
- Orbital Racer
- OTXO
- Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
- Ozymandias: Bronze Age Empire Sim
- Pac-Man Museum +
- Patch Quest
- Pathway
- Pawnbarian
- PAYDAY 2 + Bonus
- Phoenix Point: Year 1 Edition
- Pikuniku
- Pixplode
- Police Stories
- Prodeus
- Quantum Break
- Radio Commander
- Railroad Corporation
- Raji: An Ancient Epic
- Rebel Inc: Escalation
- Red Solstice 2: Survivors
- Revita
- Roadwarden
- Roarr! Jurassic Edition
- Roguebook
- Rollerdrome
- Rustler
- Saints Row Remastered
- Say No! More
- Scorn
- Scourgebringer
- SCP: Secret FIles
- Shapez + Puzzle DLC
- Shing!
- Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
- Siege Survival: GloriaVictis
- Slinger VR
- Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder
- Soulblight
- Souldiers
- Spirit Of The Island
- Suchart: Genius Artist Simulator
- Super Magbot
- Supraland
- Tales of Vesperia™: Definitive Edition
- Telefrag VR
- Temtem
- The Amazing American Circus
- The Forgotten City
- The Gunk
- The Invisible Hand
- The Legend of Tianding
- The Pale Beyond
- The USB Stick Found in the Grass
- The Walking Dead + 400 Days
- There is No Light: Enhanced Edition
- This War of Mine
- Tin Can
- Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
- TOEM: A photo adventure
- Tooth and Tail
- Treasure Hunter Simulator
- Tribes of Midgard
- Turbo Golf Racing
- Two Point Campus
- UNmetal
- Vagante
- Wandersong
- Wargroove
- Warhammer 40k: Chaos Gate
- Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin Ultimate Edition
- WARSAW
- We Are Alright
- Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus?
- Windjammers 2
- X-Morph: Defense + European Assault,
- Yes, Your Grace
- Yoku's Island Express
2024.05.13 20:47 a_modest_espeon [H] Lots of Games, Please Look [W] Games(See Below)/Offers, Wishlisted Items, and Paypal
I am currently taking paypal for games, you always go first and cover fees
For game trades, you always go first and message me, usually it takes me about 1-2 days to get back to you at the latest
My Rep Page has not been updated in about 5 years, but I have a lot of trades finished
Bolded items are just the ones I would like to consider keeping so don't feel as though you need to offer more for the game
Wants
Oneshot
Subnautica
Stellaris (and dlc)
Wishlist Items
Have
A Plague Tale: Innocence
ADOM (ANCIENT DOMAINS OF MYSTERY)
Bridge Constructor Portal
Chivalry 2 - Epic Edition
Deep Rock Galactic
Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
Doom Eternal
Elite Dangerous
Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
Ghostrunner
Honey I Joined a Cult
Lost Ruins
Mass Effect Legendary Edition (temporarily unavailable)
MONSTER TRAIN (FIRST CLASS - COLLECTORS EDITION)
OUTWARD + THE SOROBOREANS AND OUTWARD SOUNDTRACK
PATHFINDER: WRATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS
Rebel Inc: Escalation
REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
Roboquest
SCP:Secret Files
SHOTGUN KING: THE FINAL CHECKMATE
Songs of Conquest
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy
Surviving Mars
THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales
VALKYRIA CHRONICLES 4 COMPLETE EDITION
Wasteland 3
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yakuza 4 Remastered
2064: Read Only Memories
20XX
7 Grand Steps
A Juggler's Tale
A Mortician's Tale
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Aaero
Aces and Adventures
AER Memories of Old (x2)
Age of Wonders III
Ageless
Agents of Mayhem
AI War: Fleet Command
Alien Spidy
Aliens:Fireteam Elite
Alina of the Arena
All You Can Eat
Aragami 2
Arcade Paradise
Army Men RTS
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation (x2)
Assassin's Creed® Origins
Assault Android Cactus
Atom RPG Trudograd
Atomicrops
AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
Backbone
Bad End Theater
Banner Saga Trilogy - Deluxe Pack
Banners of Ruin
Bastion (x2)
Batman Arkham Origins (x2)
Battle Chef Brigade
Beacon Pines
Beat Hazard Ultra
Bee Simulator
Before Your Eyes
BEHIND THE FRAME: THE FINEST SCENERY
Beholder
BENDY AND THE DARK REVIVAL
Beneath Oresa
Between the Stars
Beyond a Steel Sky
Binary Domain
Bioshock Remastered
BioShock: The Collection
Biped
Black Book
Blade Assault
Blasphemous
Blazing Beaks
Bleed 2
Bloodstained®︎: Ritual of the Night
Bone - Episode 1 & Episode 2
Boomerang Fu (x3)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
Boreal Blade
Boyfriend Dungeon
Broken Age (x2)
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Brutal Legend
BUILDER SIMULATOR
Burly Men At Sea (x2)
Bury Me, My Love
Celeste
Chasm
Chicken Police
Children of Silentown
CHUCHEL Cherry Edition (x2)
CivCity: Rome
Coffee Talk
COMMAND & CONQUER REMASTERED COLLECTION
Company of Heroes 2 + Company of Heroes 2 - Whale and Dolphin Conservation Charity Pattern Pack
Conan Chop Chop
CONTROL STANDARD EDITION (Steam or Epic Games)
COOK, SERVE, DELICIOUS! 3
Coromon
Crowntakers
Crusader Kings Complete
Cultist Simulator (x2)
Curious Expedition
CURSE OF THE DEAD GODS
Cyber Hook
DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
Darkside Detective
Darksiders Genesis
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition (x2)
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Dead In Bermuda
Deadly Days
Death Squared (x2)
Deathloop
Decieve Inc.
Deleveled
Desperados 3
Destroy All Humans!
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Disciples: Liberation
Distance
DISTRAINT 2 + Soundtrack
Distrust (x3)
Drawful 2
DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
Duke Nukem Forever
Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
Dungeons 3 (x2)
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition
Dwarfs!?
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Blood Storm + DLC
EarthNight
Eastside Hockey Manager
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elex
Ellipsis
Embr
Emily is Away <3
ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
Endless Space® - Collection (x2)
Epic Chef
Eternal Threads
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evan's Remains
Evergarden
EVERSPACE™
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Fallout 1
Family Man
Farmer's Dynasty
Fibbage XL
Fights in Tight Spaces
Figment
Finding Paradise
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
Foretales
Fort Triumph
Founders' Fortune
Framed Collection
Framed Collection (x2)
Freddi Fish 2: The Case of the Haunted Schoolhouse
Freddi Fish 3: The Case of the Stolen Conch Shell
Freddi Fish 4: The Case of the Hogfish Rustlers of Briny Gulch
Freddi Fish 5: The Case of the Creature of Coral Cove
Freddi Fish and Luther's Maze Madness
Freddi Fish and Luther's Water Worries
Freedom Force
Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich
Friends Vs Friends
FTL
Full Metal Furies
Full Throttle Remastered (x2)
Fury Unleashed
Gas Station Simulator
Genesis Noir
Get In The Car, Loser!
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
God's Trigger
Golf Gang
Gonner
GRAV (Early Access)
Greedfall
GRID 2
Grime
Grow: Song of the Evertree
Growing Up
Guns of Icarus Online
Hacknet (x2) + Hacknet Labyrinths DLC (x1)
Haiku, the Robot
Hammerting
Hard Reset Redux
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Heaven's Vault
Heavenly Bodies (x2)
Hell Let Loose
Hell Pie
Hello Neighbor Hide and Seek
Hellpoint
Hero Siege Complete + Cyberpunk Samurai + Demon Slayer Bundle + Extra slots & stash space + ClassShield Lancer + Shaman + Plague Doctor + Marauder + Amazon+Avenger Paladin DLCs
Heroes of Hammerwatch
Hexcells Complete Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hidden Folks
HITMAN™: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON (x2)
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hokko life
Hollow Knight
Hot Brass
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hotshot Racing
Hyper Light Drifter
I am not a Monster: First Contact
I'm not a Monster
If Found...
Impostor Factory
In Between
In Sound Mind
Injustice Gods Among Us Ultimate Edition (x3)
INK Deluxe Edition
Iris and the Giant
Iron Harvest
Jack Move
JumpJet Rex
Jupiter Hell
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe Dinosaur Pack
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Kerbal Space Program
KeyWe
Kill it with Fire
KillSquad
Kingdom Classic
Kingdom Two Crowns
Kingdom: New Lands (x2)
Knights of Pen and Paper 2
Kraken Academy!!
Late Shift
Later Alligator
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
Legion TD2-MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Premium Edition
LEGO DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition
LEGO Ninjago Movie Video Game
LEGO® Batman 2 DC Super Heroes™
LEGO® Worlds
Let's Explore the Farm (Junior Field Trips)
Let's Explore the Jungle (Junior Field Trips)
Levelhead
Leviathan Warships
Life is Strange 2: Complete Season
Life is Strange: True Colors
Lone Fungus
Lords and Villeins
Lostwinds
Lovecraft's Untold Stories
Lumino City
Luna's Wandering Stars
Machinarium
Mad Max
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Magicka
Maid of Sker
Majesty 2
Majesty Gold HD
Marooners
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Massive Chalice
Meeple Station
Merchany of the Skies
Metal Hellsinger
Metro Exodus
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
MINIT (x2)
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Loves You
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Moonlighter
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Morkredd
MOTHERGUNSHIP
Moving Out
Mr. Shifty
Mr.Prepper
Mushroom 11
My Memory of Us
My Time at Portia
Narita Boy
Naruto to Boruto: Shinobi Strikers
NBA 2K20
NEBUCHADNEZZAR
Necromunda: Hired Gun
Necronator: Dead Wrong (x2)
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
Neon Drive (Steam)
Newt One
Niche (x3)
NICKELODEON ALL-STAR BRAWL
Nimbatus The Space Drone Constructor
Ninja Pizza Girl
No Time to Explain Remastered
No Time to Relax
Not For Broadcast
Not Tonight
Oaken
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack (x2)
Old Man's Journey
OlliOlli World - Rad edition
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
Omno
One Step From Eden
Operation Flashpoint: Red River
OPERATION: TANGO
Opus Magnum
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength (x2)
Orwell: Keeping an Eye on You (x3)
Othercide
Otxo
Out of the Park Baseball 18
Overcooked! 2 - Surf 'n' Turf Pack
Overcooked! 2 - Too Many Cooks
Overgrowth
Overlord II
OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Pajama Sam 2: Thunder And Lightning Aren't So Frightening
Pajama Sam 3: You Are What You Eat From Your Head To Your Feet
Pajama Sam's Lost & Found
Pajama Sam's Sock Works
Pajama Sam: Games to Play on Any Day
Pale Echoes
Panzer Corps 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm (x2)
Paradise Killer
Party Hard (x2)
Patch Quest
PayDay 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Pesterquest
Pesterquest
PGA TOUR 2K21
Pikuniku
Pinstripe (x2)
Plague Inc: Evolved
Planet of the Eyes
Planet Zoo
PlateUp! (x2)
Plunge
Police Stories
Police Stories
Portal Knights
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Prodeus
Project Highrise (x2)
Project Winter
Psychonauts
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Balloon-o-Rama
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Dog on a Stick
Putt-Putt® Enters the Race
Putt-Putt® Goes to the Moon
Putt-Putt® Joins the Circus
Putt-Putt® Joins the Parade
Putt-Putt® Travels Through Time
Putt-Putt®: Pep's Birthday Surprise
Puzzle Agent
Puzzle Agent 2
Q.U.B.E. 2
Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut
Quest of Dungeons
Quiplash
Railroad Corporation
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
Rain World
Raji: An Ancient Epic
Rapture Rejects + Safari outfit
Realpolitiks
Rebel Cops
Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville
RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
Regency Solitaire
Regions of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball (x3)
Relicta
Remnants of Isolation
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
Resident Evil 6
Resident Evil HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retro Game Crunch
Retrowave
Revita
Rime
Rise and Shine
Rising Dusk
Rituals
Road 96
Road to Ballhalla
Roadwarden
Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™
Rocket Birds: Hardboiled Chicken
ROCKETSROCKETSROCKETS
Rogue Heroes:Ruins of Tasos
Roguebook
Rollerdrome
ROUNDS (x2)
Rustler
Rusty Lake Paradise
RÖKI
S.W.I.N.E. HD REMASTER
Saints Row: The Third
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Satellite Reign (x2)
Scorn
Scourgebringer
Screencheat
Scribblenauts Unlimited (x2)
Secrets of Raetikon
Shadow Complex Remastered (Epic Games)
SHADOW TACTICS: AIKO'S CHOICE
Shady Part of Me
Shelter 2 (x3)
Shenmue I & II
shutshimi
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War (x2)
SimplePlanes
SIMULACRA
Size Matters
Slipstream
Sniper Elite
Sniper Elite 3 (x2)
Sniper Elite V2
Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder
Song of Horror
SOULCALIBUR VI
Souldiers
Speed Brawl
Spellcaster University
Spelunky
Spirit of the Island
Spirits
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: BATTLE FOR BIKINI BOTTOM - REHYDRATED
Spy Fox 2 "Some Assembly Required"
Spy Fox 3 "Operation Ozone"
Spy Fox in "Dry Cereal"
Spy Fox In: Hold the Mustard
Squad (Early Access)
StarCrossed
State of Mind
Staxel
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stick Fight: The Game (x4)
Streamline Early Access
Streets of Rage
Stronghold Crusader 2
Subsurface Circular (x3)
Suchart:Genius Artist Simulator
Sudden Strike 4
Super Daryl Deluxe
Super Galaxy Squadron EX
Super Hexagon (x2)
Super House of Dead Ninjas: True Ninja Pack
Super House of the Dead Ninjas (x2)
Super Lesbian Animal RPG
Super Magbot
Super Time Force Ultra
SUPERHOT (x3)
Surgeon Simulator + Anniversary Ed. Content
Surviving the Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag and Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tainted Grail: Conquest
Tales from the Borderlands
Tales of Berseria™
Tales of the Neon Sea
Tangledeep + Soundtrack (x2)
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Team Indie
Teleglitch: Die More Edition
Telltale Texas Hold'em
TemTem
The Adventure Pals
The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
The Ascent
The Ball
The Battle of Polytopia
The Blackout Club
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: MAN OF MEDAN
The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos + Goodies + OST
The Dwarves
The First Tree (x3)
The Forgotten City
The Gardens Between
The Henry Stickmin Collection
THE INVISIBLE HAND
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
The Legend of Tianding
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
The Quarry Deluxe Edition
The Red Lantern
The Serpent Rogue
The Stillness of the Wind
The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead - 400 Days
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead: Final Season
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Telltale Definitive Series
The Wild Eight
The Witness (x2)
theHunter: Call of the Wild
Them and Us
There is No Light:Enhanced Edition
Think of the Children
Thirty Flights of Loving
This is the Police
This War of Mine
This War of Mine: Final Cut
Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit (x3)
Tilt Brush
TIMEframe
Tin Can
Titan Quest Anniversary
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove (x2)
Tokyo 42
Tooth and Tail (x2)
Torment: Tides of Numenera
Total Tank Simulator (x2)
Tower of Guns (x2)
Train Simulator 2017 + Platform Clutter + Town Scenery
Train Station Renovation
Tribes of Midgard
Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
Tropico 4
Turbo Gold Racing
Twin Mirror (x2)
Two Point Campus
Ultimate Chicken Horse (x3)
Undertale
Unmetal
Unpacking
Valfaris
Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
Vane
Vault of the Void
Verdun
Vertiginous Golf
Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
Visage
Void Bastards
Volgarr the Viking
Wandersong
Wargroove
Waking Mars
WARHAMMER 40,000: CHAOS GATE - DAEMONHUNTERS
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart of the Forest
West of Dead
Westerado: Double Barreled
Where the Water Tastes like Wine
WHO PRESSED MUTE ON UNCLE MARCUS
Wildfire
WINDJAMMERS 2
Windward
Wingspan
Wizard of Legend (x3)
World of Goo
Worms Revolution
WORMS RUMBLE + LEGENDS PACK DLC
Wuppo (x2)
WWE 2K Battlegrounds
WWE 2K Battlegrounds + Brawler Pass
WWE 2K23
XCOM: CHIMERA SQUAD
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
Yes, Your Grace
Yooka-Laylee
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK HEADRUSH
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SPORTS
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK TELEVISION
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 1 XL
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 4: The Ride
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 6 The Lost Gold
Ziggurat
Zombie Night Terror
Others GameMaker Studio Pro
Ashampoo BackUp Pro 14
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Ashampoo WinOptimizer 18
Battleborn Starter Skin Pack
Darkest Dungeon Shieldbreaker DLC
Double Fine Adventure Documentary
GWENT - Ultimate Starter Pack
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 1 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 2 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 3 DLC
Mage and Minions - $10 In-Game Currency
Music Maker EDM Edition
Music Maker: Hip Hop Edition
PAYDAY 2: Sydney Mega Mask
Starfinder: Pact Worlds Campaign Setting
XCOM® 2: Reinforcement Pack
XCOM® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK MOVIES
submitted by a_modest_espeon to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]
For game trades, you always go first and message me, usually it takes me about 1-2 days to get back to you at the latest
My Rep Page has not been updated in about 5 years, but I have a lot of trades finished
Bolded items are just the ones I would like to consider keeping so don't feel as though you need to offer more for the game
Wants
Oneshot
Subnautica
Stellaris (and dlc)
Wishlist Items
Have
A Plague Tale: Innocence
ADOM (ANCIENT DOMAINS OF MYSTERY)
Bridge Constructor Portal
Chivalry 2 - Epic Edition
Deep Rock Galactic
Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
Doom Eternal
Elite Dangerous
Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
Ghostrunner
Honey I Joined a Cult
Lost Ruins
Mass Effect Legendary Edition (temporarily unavailable)
MONSTER TRAIN (FIRST CLASS - COLLECTORS EDITION)
OUTWARD + THE SOROBOREANS AND OUTWARD SOUNDTRACK
PATHFINDER: WRATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS
Rebel Inc: Escalation
REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
Roboquest
SCP:Secret Files
SHOTGUN KING: THE FINAL CHECKMATE
Songs of Conquest
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy
Surviving Mars
THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales
VALKYRIA CHRONICLES 4 COMPLETE EDITION
Wasteland 3
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yakuza 4 Remastered
2064: Read Only Memories
20XX
7 Grand Steps
A Good Snowman is Hard to Buildobserver (x3)
A Juggler's Tale
A Mortician's Tale
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Aaero
Aces and Adventures
AER Memories of Old (x2)
Age of Wonders III
Ageless
Agents of Mayhem
AI War: Fleet Command
Alien Spidy
Aliens:Fireteam Elite
Alina of the Arena
All You Can Eat
Aragami 2
Arcade Paradise
Army Men RTS
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation (x2)
Assassin's Creed® Origins
Assault Android Cactus
Atom RPG Trudograd
Atomicrops
AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
Backbone
Bad End Theater
Banner Saga Trilogy - Deluxe Pack
Banners of Ruin
Bastion (x2)
Batman Arkham Origins (x2)
Battle Chef Brigade
Beacon Pines
Beat Hazard Ultra
Bee Simulator
Before Your Eyes
BEHIND THE FRAME: THE FINEST SCENERY
Beholder
BENDY AND THE DARK REVIVAL
Beneath Oresa
Between the Stars
Beyond a Steel Sky
Binary Domain
Bioshock Remastered
BioShock: The Collection
Biped
Black Book
Blade Assault
Blasphemous
Blazing Beaks
Bleed 2
Bloodstained®︎: Ritual of the Night
Bone - Episode 1 & Episode 2
Boomerang Fu (x3)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
Boreal Blade
Boyfriend Dungeon
Broken Age (x2)
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Brutal Legend
BUILDER SIMULATOR
Burly Men At Sea (x2)
Bury Me, My Love
Celeste
Chasm
Chicken Police
Children of Silentown
CHUCHEL Cherry Edition (x2)
CivCity: Rome
Coffee Talk
COMMAND & CONQUER REMASTERED COLLECTION
Company of Heroes 2 + Company of Heroes 2 - Whale and Dolphin Conservation Charity Pattern Pack
Conan Chop Chop
CONTROL STANDARD EDITION (Steam or Epic Games)
COOK, SERVE, DELICIOUS! 3
Coromon
Crowntakers
Crusader Kings Complete
Cultist Simulator (x2)
Curious Expedition
CURSE OF THE DEAD GODS
Cyber Hook
DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
Darkside Detective
Darksiders Genesis
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition (x2)
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Dead In Bermuda
Deadly Days
Death Squared (x2)
Deathloop
Decieve Inc.
Deleveled
Desperados 3
Destroy All Humans!
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Disciples: Liberation
Distance
DISTRAINT 2 + Soundtrack
Distrust (x3)
Drawful 2
DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
Duke Nukem Forever
Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
Dungeons 3 (x2)
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition
Dwarfs!?
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Blood Storm + DLC
EarthNight
Eastside Hockey Manager
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elex
Ellipsis
Embr
Emily is Away <3
ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
Endless Space® - Collection (x2)
Epic Chef
Eternal Threads
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evan's Remains
Evergarden
EVERSPACE™
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Fallout 1
Family Man
Farmer's Dynasty
Fibbage XL
Fights in Tight Spaces
Figment
Finding Paradise
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
Foretales
Fort Triumph
Founders' Fortune
Framed Collection
Framed Collection (x2)
Freddi Fish 2: The Case of the Haunted Schoolhouse
Freddi Fish 3: The Case of the Stolen Conch Shell
Freddi Fish 4: The Case of the Hogfish Rustlers of Briny Gulch
Freddi Fish 5: The Case of the Creature of Coral Cove
Freddi Fish and Luther's Maze Madness
Freddi Fish and Luther's Water Worries
Freedom Force
Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich
Friends Vs Friends
FTL
Full Metal Furies
Full Throttle Remastered (x2)
Fury Unleashed
Gas Station Simulator
Genesis Noir
Get In The Car, Loser!
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
God's Trigger
Golf Gang
Gonner
GRAV (Early Access)
Greedfall
GRID 2
Grime
Grow: Song of the Evertree
Growing Up
Guns of Icarus Online
Hacknet (x2) + Hacknet Labyrinths DLC (x1)
Haiku, the Robot
Hammerting
Hard Reset Redux
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Heaven's Vault
Heavenly Bodies (x2)
Hell Let Loose
Hell Pie
Hello Neighbor Hide and Seek
Hellpoint
Hero Siege Complete + Cyberpunk Samurai + Demon Slayer Bundle + Extra slots & stash space + ClassShield Lancer + Shaman + Plague Doctor + Marauder + Amazon+Avenger Paladin DLCs
Heroes of Hammerwatch
Hexcells Complete Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hidden Folks
HITMAN™: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON (x2)
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hokko life
Hollow Knight
Hot Brass
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hotshot Racing
Hyper Light Drifter
I am not a Monster: First Contact
I'm not a Monster
If Found...
Impostor Factory
In Between
In Sound Mind
Injustice Gods Among Us Ultimate Edition (x3)
INK Deluxe Edition
Iris and the Giant
Iron Harvest
Jack Move
JumpJet Rex
Jupiter Hell
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe Dinosaur Pack
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Kerbal Space Program
KeyWe
Kill it with Fire
KillSquad
Kingdom Classic
Kingdom Two Crowns
Kingdom: New Lands (x2)
Knights of Pen and Paper 2
Kraken Academy!!
Late Shift
Later Alligator
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
Legion TD2-MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Premium Edition
LEGO DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition
LEGO Ninjago Movie Video Game
LEGO® Batman 2 DC Super Heroes™
LEGO® Worlds
Let's Explore the Farm (Junior Field Trips)
Let's Explore the Jungle (Junior Field Trips)
Levelhead
Leviathan Warships
Life is Strange 2: Complete Season
Life is Strange: True Colors
Lone Fungus
Lords and Villeins
Lostwinds
Lovecraft's Untold Stories
Lumino City
Luna's Wandering Stars
Machinarium
Mad Max
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Magicka
Maid of Sker
Majesty 2
Majesty Gold HD
Marooners
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Massive Chalice
Meeple Station
Merchany of the Skies
Metal Hellsinger
Metro Exodus
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
MINIT (x2)
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Loves You
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Moonlighter
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Morkredd
MOTHERGUNSHIP
Moving Out
Mr. Shifty
Mr.Prepper
Mushroom 11
My Memory of Us
My Time at Portia
Narita Boy
Naruto to Boruto: Shinobi Strikers
NBA 2K20
NEBUCHADNEZZAR
Necromunda: Hired Gun
Necronator: Dead Wrong (x2)
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
Neon Drive (Steam)
Newt One
Niche (x3)
NICKELODEON ALL-STAR BRAWL
Nimbatus The Space Drone Constructor
Ninja Pizza Girl
No Time to Explain Remastered
No Time to Relax
Not For Broadcast
Not Tonight
Oaken
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack (x2)
Old Man's Journey
OlliOlli World - Rad edition
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
Omno
One Step From Eden
Operation Flashpoint: Red River
OPERATION: TANGO
Opus Magnum
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength (x2)
Orwell: Keeping an Eye on You (x3)
Othercide
Otxo
Out of the Park Baseball 18
Overcooked! 2 - Surf 'n' Turf Pack
Overcooked! 2 - Too Many Cooks
Overgrowth
Overlord II
OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Pajama Sam 2: Thunder And Lightning Aren't So Frightening
Pajama Sam 3: You Are What You Eat From Your Head To Your Feet
Pajama Sam's Lost & Found
Pajama Sam's Sock Works
Pajama Sam: Games to Play on Any Day
Pale Echoes
Panzer Corps 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm (x2)
Paradise Killer
Party Hard (x2)
Patch Quest
PayDay 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Pesterquest
Pesterquest
PGA TOUR 2K21
Pikuniku
Pinstripe (x2)
Plague Inc: Evolved
Planet of the Eyes
Planet Zoo
PlateUp! (x2)
Plunge
Police Stories
Police Stories
Portal Knights
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Prodeus
Project Highrise (x2)
Project Winter
Psychonauts
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Balloon-o-Rama
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Dog on a Stick
Putt-Putt® Enters the Race
Putt-Putt® Goes to the Moon
Putt-Putt® Joins the Circus
Putt-Putt® Joins the Parade
Putt-Putt® Travels Through Time
Putt-Putt®: Pep's Birthday Surprise
Puzzle Agent
Puzzle Agent 2
Q.U.B.E. 2
Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut
Quest of Dungeons
Quiplash
Railroad Corporation
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
Rain World
Raji: An Ancient Epic
Rapture Rejects + Safari outfit
Realpolitiks
Rebel Cops
Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville
RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
Regency Solitaire
Regions of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball (x3)
Relicta
Remnants of Isolation
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
Resident Evil 6
Resident Evil HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retro Game Crunch
Retrowave
Revita
Rime
Rise and Shine
Rising Dusk
Rituals
Road 96
Road to Ballhalla
Roadwarden
Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™
Rocket Birds: Hardboiled Chicken
ROCKETSROCKETSROCKETS
Rogue Heroes:Ruins of Tasos
Roguebook
Rollerdrome
ROUNDS (x2)
Rustler
Rusty Lake Paradise
RÖKI
S.W.I.N.E. HD REMASTER
Saints Row: The Third
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Satellite Reign (x2)
Scorn
Scourgebringer
Screencheat
Scribblenauts Unlimited (x2)
Secrets of Raetikon
Shadow Complex Remastered (Epic Games)
SHADOW TACTICS: AIKO'S CHOICE
Shady Part of Me
Shelter 2 (x3)
Shenmue I & II
shutshimi
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War (x2)
SimplePlanes
SIMULACRA
Size Matters
Slipstream
Sniper Elite
Sniper Elite 3 (x2)
Sniper Elite V2
Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder
Song of Horror
SOULCALIBUR VI
Souldiers
Speed Brawl
Spellcaster University
Spelunky
Spirit of the Island
Spirits
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: BATTLE FOR BIKINI BOTTOM - REHYDRATED
Spy Fox 2 "Some Assembly Required"
Spy Fox 3 "Operation Ozone"
Spy Fox in "Dry Cereal"
Spy Fox In: Hold the Mustard
Squad (Early Access)
StarCrossed
State of Mind
Staxel
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stick Fight: The Game (x4)
Streamline Early Access
Streets of Rage
Stronghold Crusader 2
Subsurface Circular (x3)
Suchart:Genius Artist Simulator
Sudden Strike 4
Super Daryl Deluxe
Super Galaxy Squadron EX
Super Hexagon (x2)
Super House of Dead Ninjas: True Ninja Pack
Super House of the Dead Ninjas (x2)
Super Lesbian Animal RPG
Super Magbot
Super Time Force Ultra
SUPERHOT (x3)
Surgeon Simulator + Anniversary Ed. Content
Surviving the Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag and Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tainted Grail: Conquest
Tales from the Borderlands
Tales of Berseria™
Tales of the Neon Sea
Tangledeep + Soundtrack (x2)
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Team Indie
Teleglitch: Die More Edition
Telltale Texas Hold'em
TemTem
The Adventure Pals
The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
The Ascent
The Ball
The Battle of Polytopia
The Blackout Club
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: MAN OF MEDAN
The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos + Goodies + OST
The Dwarves
The First Tree (x3)
The Forgotten City
The Gardens Between
The Henry Stickmin Collection
THE INVISIBLE HAND
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
The Legend of Tianding
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
The Quarry Deluxe Edition
The Red Lantern
The Serpent Rogue
The Stillness of the Wind
The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead - 400 Days
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead: Final Season
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Telltale Definitive Series
The Wild Eight
The Witness (x2)
theHunter: Call of the Wild
Them and Us
There is No Light:Enhanced Edition
Think of the Children
Thirty Flights of Loving
This is the Police
This War of Mine
This War of Mine: Final Cut
Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit (x3)
Tilt Brush
TIMEframe
Tin Can
Titan Quest Anniversary
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove (x2)
Tokyo 42
Tooth and Tail (x2)
Torment: Tides of Numenera
Total Tank Simulator (x2)
Tower of Guns (x2)
Train Simulator 2017 + Platform Clutter + Town Scenery
Train Station Renovation
Tribes of Midgard
Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
Tropico 4
Turbo Gold Racing
Twin Mirror (x2)
Two Point Campus
Ultimate Chicken Horse (x3)
Undertale
Unmetal
Unpacking
Valfaris
Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
Vane
Vault of the Void
Verdun
Vertiginous Golf
Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
Visage
Void Bastards
Volgarr the Viking
Wandersong
Wargroove
Waking Mars
WARHAMMER 40,000: CHAOS GATE - DAEMONHUNTERS
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart of the Forest
West of Dead
Westerado: Double Barreled
Where the Water Tastes like Wine
WHO PRESSED MUTE ON UNCLE MARCUS
Wildfire
WINDJAMMERS 2
Windward
Wingspan
Wizard of Legend (x3)
World of Goo
Worms Revolution
WORMS RUMBLE + LEGENDS PACK DLC
Wuppo (x2)
WWE 2K Battlegrounds
WWE 2K Battlegrounds + Brawler Pass
WWE 2K23
XCOM: CHIMERA SQUAD
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
Yes, Your Grace
Yooka-Laylee
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK HEADRUSH
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SPORTS
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK TELEVISION
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 1 XL
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 4: The Ride
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 6 The Lost Gold
Ziggurat
Zombie Night Terror
Others GameMaker Studio Pro
Ashampoo BackUp Pro 14
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Ashampoo WinOptimizer 18
Battleborn Starter Skin Pack
Darkest Dungeon Shieldbreaker DLC
Double Fine Adventure Documentary
GWENT - Ultimate Starter Pack
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 1 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 2 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 3 DLC
Mage and Minions - $10 In-Game Currency
Music Maker EDM Edition
Music Maker: Hip Hop Edition
PAYDAY 2: Sydney Mega Mask
Starfinder: Pact Worlds Campaign Setting
XCOM® 2: Reinforcement Pack
XCOM® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK MOVIES
2024.05.13 20:46 a_modest_espeon [H] Lots of Games, Please Look [W] Games(See Below)/Offers, Wishlisted Items, and Paypal
I am currently taking paypal for games, you always go first and cover fees
For game trades, you always go first and message me, usually it takes me about 1-2 days to get back to you at the latest
My Rep Page has not been updated in about 5 years, but I have a lot of trades finished
Bolded items are just the ones I would like to consider keeping so don't feel as though you need to offer more for the game
Wants
Oneshot
Subnautica
Stellaris (and dlc)
Wishlist Items
Have
A Plague Tale: Innocence
ADOM (ANCIENT DOMAINS OF MYSTERY)
Bridge Constructor Portal
Chivalry 2 - Epic Edition
Deep Rock Galactic
Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
Doom Eternal
Elite Dangerous
Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
Ghostrunner
Honey I Joined a Cult
Lost Ruins
Mass Effect Legendary Edition (temporarily unavailable)
MONSTER TRAIN (FIRST CLASS - COLLECTORS EDITION)
OUTWARD + THE SOROBOREANS AND OUTWARD SOUNDTRACK
PATHFINDER: WRATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS
Rebel Inc: Escalation
REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
Roboquest
SCP:Secret Files
SHOTGUN KING: THE FINAL CHECKMATE
Songs of Conquest
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy
Surviving Mars
THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales
VALKYRIA CHRONICLES 4 COMPLETE EDITION
Wasteland 3
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yakuza 4 Remastered
2064: Read Only Memories
20XX
7 Grand Steps
A Juggler's Tale
A Mortician's Tale
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Aaero
Aces and Adventures
AER Memories of Old (x2)
Age of Wonders III
Ageless
Agents of Mayhem
AI War: Fleet Command
Alien Spidy
Aliens:Fireteam Elite
Alina of the Arena
All You Can Eat
Aragami 2
Arcade Paradise
Army Men RTS
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation (x2)
Assassin's Creed® Origins
Assault Android Cactus
Atom RPG Trudograd
Atomicrops
AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
Backbone
Bad End Theater
Banner Saga Trilogy - Deluxe Pack
Banners of Ruin
Bastion (x2)
Batman Arkham Origins (x2)
Battle Chef Brigade
Beacon Pines
Beat Hazard Ultra
Bee Simulator
Before Your Eyes
BEHIND THE FRAME: THE FINEST SCENERY
Beholder
BENDY AND THE DARK REVIVAL
Beneath Oresa
Between the Stars
Beyond a Steel Sky
Binary Domain
Bioshock Remastered
BioShock: The Collection
Biped
Black Book
Blade Assault
Blasphemous
Blazing Beaks
Bleed 2
Bloodstained®︎: Ritual of the Night
Bone - Episode 1 & Episode 2
Boomerang Fu (x3)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
Boreal Blade
Boyfriend Dungeon
Broken Age (x2)
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Brutal Legend
BUILDER SIMULATOR
Burly Men At Sea (x2)
Bury Me, My Love
Celeste
Chasm
Chicken Police
Children of Silentown
CHUCHEL Cherry Edition (x2)
CivCity: Rome
Coffee Talk
COMMAND & CONQUER REMASTERED COLLECTION
Company of Heroes 2 + Company of Heroes 2 - Whale and Dolphin Conservation Charity Pattern Pack
Conan Chop Chop
CONTROL STANDARD EDITION (Steam or Epic Games)
COOK, SERVE, DELICIOUS! 3
Coromon
Crowntakers
Crusader Kings Complete
Cultist Simulator (x2)
Curious Expedition
CURSE OF THE DEAD GODS
Cyber Hook
DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
Darkside Detective
Darksiders Genesis
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition (x2)
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Dead In Bermuda
Deadly Days
Death Squared (x2)
Deathloop
Decieve Inc.
Deleveled
Desperados 3
Destroy All Humans!
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Disciples: Liberation
Distance
DISTRAINT 2 + Soundtrack
Distrust (x3)
Drawful 2
DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
Duke Nukem Forever
Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
Dungeons 3 (x2)
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition
Dwarfs!?
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Blood Storm + DLC
EarthNight
Eastside Hockey Manager
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elex
Ellipsis
Embr
Emily is Away <3
ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
Endless Space® - Collection (x2)
Epic Chef
Eternal Threads
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evan's Remains
Evergarden
EVERSPACE™
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Fallout 1
Family Man
Farmer's Dynasty
Fibbage XL
Fights in Tight Spaces
Figment
Finding Paradise
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
Foretales
Fort Triumph
Founders' Fortune
Framed Collection
Framed Collection (x2)
Freddi Fish 2: The Case of the Haunted Schoolhouse
Freddi Fish 3: The Case of the Stolen Conch Shell
Freddi Fish 4: The Case of the Hogfish Rustlers of Briny Gulch
Freddi Fish 5: The Case of the Creature of Coral Cove
Freddi Fish and Luther's Maze Madness
Freddi Fish and Luther's Water Worries
Freedom Force
Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich
Friends Vs Friends
FTL
Full Metal Furies
Full Throttle Remastered (x2)
Fury Unleashed
Gas Station Simulator
Genesis Noir
Get In The Car, Loser!
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
God's Trigger
Golf Gang
Gonner
GRAV (Early Access)
Greedfall
GRID 2
Grime
Grow: Song of the Evertree
Growing Up
Guns of Icarus Online
Hacknet (x2) + Hacknet Labyrinths DLC (x1)
Haiku, the Robot
Hammerting
Hard Reset Redux
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Heaven's Vault
Heavenly Bodies (x2)
Hell Let Loose
Hell Pie
Hello Neighbor Hide and Seek
Hellpoint
Hero Siege Complete + Cyberpunk Samurai + Demon Slayer Bundle + Extra slots & stash space + ClassShield Lancer + Shaman + Plague Doctor + Marauder + Amazon+Avenger Paladin DLCs
Heroes of Hammerwatch
Hexcells Complete Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hidden Folks
HITMAN™: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON (x2)
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hokko life
Hollow Knight
Hot Brass
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hotshot Racing
Hyper Light Drifter
I am not a Monster: First Contact
I'm not a Monster
If Found...
Impostor Factory
In Between
In Sound Mind
Injustice Gods Among Us Ultimate Edition (x3)
INK Deluxe Edition
Iris and the Giant
Iron Harvest
Jack Move
JumpJet Rex
Jupiter Hell
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe Dinosaur Pack
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Kerbal Space Program
KeyWe
Kill it with Fire
KillSquad
Kingdom Classic
Kingdom Two Crowns
Kingdom: New Lands (x2)
Knights of Pen and Paper 2
Kraken Academy!!
Late Shift
Later Alligator
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
Legion TD2-MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Premium Edition
LEGO DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition
LEGO Ninjago Movie Video Game
LEGO® Batman 2 DC Super Heroes™
LEGO® Worlds
Let's Explore the Farm (Junior Field Trips)
Let's Explore the Jungle (Junior Field Trips)
Levelhead
Leviathan Warships
Life is Strange 2: Complete Season
Life is Strange: True Colors
Lone Fungus
Lords and Villeins
Lostwinds
Lovecraft's Untold Stories
Lumino City
Luna's Wandering Stars
Machinarium
Mad Max
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Magicka
Maid of Sker
Majesty 2
Majesty Gold HD
Marooners
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Massive Chalice
Meeple Station
Merchany of the Skies
Metal Hellsinger
Metro Exodus
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
MINIT (x2)
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Loves You
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Moonlighter
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Morkredd
MOTHERGUNSHIP
Moving Out
Mr. Shifty
Mr.Prepper
Mushroom 11
My Memory of Us
My Time at Portia
Narita Boy
Naruto to Boruto: Shinobi Strikers
NBA 2K20
NEBUCHADNEZZAR
Necromunda: Hired Gun
Necronator: Dead Wrong (x2)
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
Neon Drive (Steam)
Newt One
Niche (x3)
NICKELODEON ALL-STAR BRAWL
Nimbatus The Space Drone Constructor
Ninja Pizza Girl
No Time to Explain Remastered
No Time to Relax
Not For Broadcast
Not Tonight
Oaken
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack (x2)
Old Man's Journey
OlliOlli World - Rad edition
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
Omno
One Step From Eden
Operation Flashpoint: Red River
OPERATION: TANGO
Opus Magnum
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength (x2)
Orwell: Keeping an Eye on You (x3)
Othercide
Otxo
Out of the Park Baseball 18
Overcooked! 2 - Surf 'n' Turf Pack
Overcooked! 2 - Too Many Cooks
Overgrowth
Overlord II
OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Pajama Sam 2: Thunder And Lightning Aren't So Frightening
Pajama Sam 3: You Are What You Eat From Your Head To Your Feet
Pajama Sam's Lost & Found
Pajama Sam's Sock Works
Pajama Sam: Games to Play on Any Day
Pale Echoes
Panzer Corps 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm (x2)
Paradise Killer
Party Hard (x2)
Patch Quest
PayDay 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Pesterquest
Pesterquest
PGA TOUR 2K21
Pikuniku
Pinstripe (x2)
Plague Inc: Evolved
Planet of the Eyes
Planet Zoo
PlateUp! (x2)
Plunge
Police Stories
Police Stories
Portal Knights
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Prodeus
Project Highrise (x2)
Project Winter
Psychonauts
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Balloon-o-Rama
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Dog on a Stick
Putt-Putt® Enters the Race
Putt-Putt® Goes to the Moon
Putt-Putt® Joins the Circus
Putt-Putt® Joins the Parade
Putt-Putt® Travels Through Time
Putt-Putt®: Pep's Birthday Surprise
Puzzle Agent
Puzzle Agent 2
Q.U.B.E. 2
Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut
Quest of Dungeons
Quiplash
Railroad Corporation
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
Rain World
Raji: An Ancient Epic
Rapture Rejects + Safari outfit
Realpolitiks
Rebel Cops
Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville
RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
Regency Solitaire
Regions of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball (x3)
Relicta
Remnants of Isolation
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
Resident Evil 6
Resident Evil HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retro Game Crunch
Retrowave
Revita
Rime
Rise and Shine
Rising Dusk
Rituals
Road 96
Road to Ballhalla
Roadwarden
Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™
Rocket Birds: Hardboiled Chicken
ROCKETSROCKETSROCKETS
Rogue Heroes:Ruins of Tasos
Roguebook
Rollerdrome
ROUNDS (x2)
Rustler
Rusty Lake Paradise
RÖKI
S.W.I.N.E. HD REMASTER
Saints Row: The Third
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Satellite Reign (x2)
Scorn
Scourgebringer
Screencheat
Scribblenauts Unlimited (x2)
Secrets of Raetikon
Shadow Complex Remastered (Epic Games)
SHADOW TACTICS: AIKO'S CHOICE
Shady Part of Me
Shelter 2 (x3)
Shenmue I & II
shutshimi
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War (x2)
SimplePlanes
SIMULACRA
Size Matters
Slipstream
Sniper Elite
Sniper Elite 3 (x2)
Sniper Elite V2
Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder
Song of Horror
SOULCALIBUR VI
Souldiers
Speed Brawl
Spellcaster University
Spelunky
Spirit of the Island
Spirits
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: BATTLE FOR BIKINI BOTTOM - REHYDRATED
Spy Fox 2 "Some Assembly Required"
Spy Fox 3 "Operation Ozone"
Spy Fox in "Dry Cereal"
Spy Fox In: Hold the Mustard
Squad (Early Access)
StarCrossed
State of Mind
Staxel
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stick Fight: The Game (x4)
Streamline Early Access
Streets of Rage
Stronghold Crusader 2
Subsurface Circular (x3)
Suchart:Genius Artist Simulator
Sudden Strike 4
Super Daryl Deluxe
Super Galaxy Squadron EX
Super Hexagon (x2)
Super House of Dead Ninjas: True Ninja Pack
Super House of the Dead Ninjas (x2)
Super Lesbian Animal RPG
Super Magbot
Super Time Force Ultra
SUPERHOT (x3)
Surgeon Simulator + Anniversary Ed. Content
Surviving the Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag and Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tainted Grail: Conquest
Tales from the Borderlands
Tales of Berseria™
Tales of the Neon Sea
Tangledeep + Soundtrack (x2)
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Team Indie
Teleglitch: Die More Edition
Telltale Texas Hold'em
TemTem
The Adventure Pals
The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
The Ascent
The Ball
The Battle of Polytopia
The Blackout Club
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: MAN OF MEDAN
The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos + Goodies + OST
The Dwarves
The First Tree (x3)
The Forgotten City
The Gardens Between
The Henry Stickmin Collection
THE INVISIBLE HAND
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
The Legend of Tianding
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
The Quarry Deluxe Edition
The Red Lantern
The Serpent Rogue
The Stillness of the Wind
The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead - 400 Days
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead: Final Season
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Telltale Definitive Series
The Wild Eight
The Witness (x2)
theHunter: Call of the Wild
Them and Us
There is No Light:Enhanced Edition
Think of the Children
Thirty Flights of Loving
This is the Police
This War of Mine
This War of Mine: Final Cut
Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit (x3)
Tilt Brush
TIMEframe
Tin Can
Titan Quest Anniversary
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove (x2)
Tokyo 42
Tooth and Tail (x2)
Torment: Tides of Numenera
Total Tank Simulator (x2)
Tower of Guns (x2)
Train Simulator 2017 + Platform Clutter + Town Scenery
Train Station Renovation
Tribes of Midgard
Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
Tropico 4
Turbo Gold Racing
Twin Mirror (x2)
Two Point Campus
Ultimate Chicken Horse (x3)
Undertale
Unmetal
Unpacking
Valfaris
Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
Vane
Vault of the Void
Verdun
Vertiginous Golf
Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
Visage
Void Bastards
Volgarr the Viking
Wandersong
Wargroove
Waking Mars
WARHAMMER 40,000: CHAOS GATE - DAEMONHUNTERS
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart of the Forest
West of Dead
Westerado: Double Barreled
Where the Water Tastes like Wine
WHO PRESSED MUTE ON UNCLE MARCUS
Wildfire
WINDJAMMERS 2
Windward
Wingspan
Wizard of Legend (x3)
World of Goo
Worms Revolution
WORMS RUMBLE + LEGENDS PACK DLC
Wuppo (x2)
WWE 2K Battlegrounds
WWE 2K Battlegrounds + Brawler Pass
WWE 2K23
XCOM: CHIMERA SQUAD
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
Yes, Your Grace
Yooka-Laylee
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK HEADRUSH
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SPORTS
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK TELEVISION
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 1 XL
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 4: The Ride
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 6 The Lost Gold
Ziggurat
Zombie Night Terror
Others GameMaker Studio Pro
Ashampoo BackUp Pro 14
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Ashampoo WinOptimizer 18
Battleborn Starter Skin Pack
Darkest Dungeon Shieldbreaker DLC
Double Fine Adventure Documentary
GWENT - Ultimate Starter Pack
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 1 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 2 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 3 DLC
Mage and Minions - $10 In-Game Currency
Music Maker EDM Edition
Music Maker: Hip Hop Edition
PAYDAY 2: Sydney Mega Mask
Starfinder: Pact Worlds Campaign Setting
XCOM® 2: Reinforcement Pack
XCOM® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK MOVIES
submitted by a_modest_espeon to indiegameswap [link] [comments]
For game trades, you always go first and message me, usually it takes me about 1-2 days to get back to you at the latest
My Rep Page has not been updated in about 5 years, but I have a lot of trades finished
Bolded items are just the ones I would like to consider keeping so don't feel as though you need to offer more for the game
Wants
Oneshot
Subnautica
Stellaris (and dlc)
Wishlist Items
Have
A Plague Tale: Innocence
ADOM (ANCIENT DOMAINS OF MYSTERY)
Bridge Constructor Portal
Chivalry 2 - Epic Edition
Deep Rock Galactic
Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
Doom Eternal
Elite Dangerous
Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
Ghostrunner
Honey I Joined a Cult
Lost Ruins
Mass Effect Legendary Edition (temporarily unavailable)
MONSTER TRAIN (FIRST CLASS - COLLECTORS EDITION)
OUTWARD + THE SOROBOREANS AND OUTWARD SOUNDTRACK
PATHFINDER: WRATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS
Rebel Inc: Escalation
REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
Roboquest
SCP:Secret Files
SHOTGUN KING: THE FINAL CHECKMATE
Songs of Conquest
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy
Surviving Mars
THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales
VALKYRIA CHRONICLES 4 COMPLETE EDITION
Wasteland 3
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yakuza 4 Remastered
2064: Read Only Memories
20XX
7 Grand Steps
A Good Snowman is Hard to Buildobserver (x3)
A Juggler's Tale
A Mortician's Tale
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Aaero
Aces and Adventures
AER Memories of Old (x2)
Age of Wonders III
Ageless
Agents of Mayhem
AI War: Fleet Command
Alien Spidy
Aliens:Fireteam Elite
Alina of the Arena
All You Can Eat
Aragami 2
Arcade Paradise
Army Men RTS
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation (x2)
Assassin's Creed® Origins
Assault Android Cactus
Atom RPG Trudograd
Atomicrops
AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
Backbone
Bad End Theater
Banner Saga Trilogy - Deluxe Pack
Banners of Ruin
Bastion (x2)
Batman Arkham Origins (x2)
Battle Chef Brigade
Beacon Pines
Beat Hazard Ultra
Bee Simulator
Before Your Eyes
BEHIND THE FRAME: THE FINEST SCENERY
Beholder
BENDY AND THE DARK REVIVAL
Beneath Oresa
Between the Stars
Beyond a Steel Sky
Binary Domain
Bioshock Remastered
BioShock: The Collection
Biped
Black Book
Blade Assault
Blasphemous
Blazing Beaks
Bleed 2
Bloodstained®︎: Ritual of the Night
Bone - Episode 1 & Episode 2
Boomerang Fu (x3)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
Boreal Blade
Boyfriend Dungeon
Broken Age (x2)
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Brutal Legend
BUILDER SIMULATOR
Burly Men At Sea (x2)
Bury Me, My Love
Celeste
Chasm
Chicken Police
Children of Silentown
CHUCHEL Cherry Edition (x2)
CivCity: Rome
Coffee Talk
COMMAND & CONQUER REMASTERED COLLECTION
Company of Heroes 2 + Company of Heroes 2 - Whale and Dolphin Conservation Charity Pattern Pack
Conan Chop Chop
CONTROL STANDARD EDITION (Steam or Epic Games)
COOK, SERVE, DELICIOUS! 3
Coromon
Crowntakers
Crusader Kings Complete
Cultist Simulator (x2)
Curious Expedition
CURSE OF THE DEAD GODS
Cyber Hook
DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
Darkside Detective
Darksiders Genesis
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition (x2)
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Dead In Bermuda
Deadly Days
Death Squared (x2)
Deathloop
Decieve Inc.
Deleveled
Desperados 3
Destroy All Humans!
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Disciples: Liberation
Distance
DISTRAINT 2 + Soundtrack
Distrust (x3)
Drawful 2
DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
Duke Nukem Forever
Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
Dungeons 3 (x2)
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition
Dwarfs!?
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Blood Storm + DLC
EarthNight
Eastside Hockey Manager
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elex
Ellipsis
Embr
Emily is Away <3
ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
Endless Space® - Collection (x2)
Epic Chef
Eternal Threads
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evan's Remains
Evergarden
EVERSPACE™
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Fallout 1
Family Man
Farmer's Dynasty
Fibbage XL
Fights in Tight Spaces
Figment
Finding Paradise
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
Foretales
Fort Triumph
Founders' Fortune
Framed Collection
Framed Collection (x2)
Freddi Fish 2: The Case of the Haunted Schoolhouse
Freddi Fish 3: The Case of the Stolen Conch Shell
Freddi Fish 4: The Case of the Hogfish Rustlers of Briny Gulch
Freddi Fish 5: The Case of the Creature of Coral Cove
Freddi Fish and Luther's Maze Madness
Freddi Fish and Luther's Water Worries
Freedom Force
Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich
Friends Vs Friends
FTL
Full Metal Furies
Full Throttle Remastered (x2)
Fury Unleashed
Gas Station Simulator
Genesis Noir
Get In The Car, Loser!
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
God's Trigger
Golf Gang
Gonner
GRAV (Early Access)
Greedfall
GRID 2
Grime
Grow: Song of the Evertree
Growing Up
Guns of Icarus Online
Hacknet (x2) + Hacknet Labyrinths DLC (x1)
Haiku, the Robot
Hammerting
Hard Reset Redux
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Heaven's Vault
Heavenly Bodies (x2)
Hell Let Loose
Hell Pie
Hello Neighbor Hide and Seek
Hellpoint
Hero Siege Complete + Cyberpunk Samurai + Demon Slayer Bundle + Extra slots & stash space + ClassShield Lancer + Shaman + Plague Doctor + Marauder + Amazon+Avenger Paladin DLCs
Heroes of Hammerwatch
Hexcells Complete Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hidden Folks
HITMAN™: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON (x2)
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hokko life
Hollow Knight
Hot Brass
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hotshot Racing
Hyper Light Drifter
I am not a Monster: First Contact
I'm not a Monster
If Found...
Impostor Factory
In Between
In Sound Mind
Injustice Gods Among Us Ultimate Edition (x3)
INK Deluxe Edition
Iris and the Giant
Iron Harvest
Jack Move
JumpJet Rex
Jupiter Hell
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe Dinosaur Pack
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Kerbal Space Program
KeyWe
Kill it with Fire
KillSquad
Kingdom Classic
Kingdom Two Crowns
Kingdom: New Lands (x2)
Knights of Pen and Paper 2
Kraken Academy!!
Late Shift
Later Alligator
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
Legion TD2-MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Premium Edition
LEGO DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition
LEGO Ninjago Movie Video Game
LEGO® Batman 2 DC Super Heroes™
LEGO® Worlds
Let's Explore the Farm (Junior Field Trips)
Let's Explore the Jungle (Junior Field Trips)
Levelhead
Leviathan Warships
Life is Strange 2: Complete Season
Life is Strange: True Colors
Lone Fungus
Lords and Villeins
Lostwinds
Lovecraft's Untold Stories
Lumino City
Luna's Wandering Stars
Machinarium
Mad Max
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Magicka
Maid of Sker
Majesty 2
Majesty Gold HD
Marooners
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Massive Chalice
Meeple Station
Merchany of the Skies
Metal Hellsinger
Metro Exodus
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
MINIT (x2)
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Loves You
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Moonlighter
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Morkredd
MOTHERGUNSHIP
Moving Out
Mr. Shifty
Mr.Prepper
Mushroom 11
My Memory of Us
My Time at Portia
Narita Boy
Naruto to Boruto: Shinobi Strikers
NBA 2K20
NEBUCHADNEZZAR
Necromunda: Hired Gun
Necronator: Dead Wrong (x2)
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
Neon Drive (Steam)
Newt One
Niche (x3)
NICKELODEON ALL-STAR BRAWL
Nimbatus The Space Drone Constructor
Ninja Pizza Girl
No Time to Explain Remastered
No Time to Relax
Not For Broadcast
Not Tonight
Oaken
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack (x2)
Old Man's Journey
OlliOlli World - Rad edition
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
Omno
One Step From Eden
Operation Flashpoint: Red River
OPERATION: TANGO
Opus Magnum
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength (x2)
Orwell: Keeping an Eye on You (x3)
Othercide
Otxo
Out of the Park Baseball 18
Overcooked! 2 - Surf 'n' Turf Pack
Overcooked! 2 - Too Many Cooks
Overgrowth
Overlord II
OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Pajama Sam 2: Thunder And Lightning Aren't So Frightening
Pajama Sam 3: You Are What You Eat From Your Head To Your Feet
Pajama Sam's Lost & Found
Pajama Sam's Sock Works
Pajama Sam: Games to Play on Any Day
Pale Echoes
Panzer Corps 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm (x2)
Paradise Killer
Party Hard (x2)
Patch Quest
PayDay 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Pesterquest
Pesterquest
PGA TOUR 2K21
Pikuniku
Pinstripe (x2)
Plague Inc: Evolved
Planet of the Eyes
Planet Zoo
PlateUp! (x2)
Plunge
Police Stories
Police Stories
Portal Knights
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Prodeus
Project Highrise (x2)
Project Winter
Psychonauts
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Balloon-o-Rama
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Dog on a Stick
Putt-Putt® Enters the Race
Putt-Putt® Goes to the Moon
Putt-Putt® Joins the Circus
Putt-Putt® Joins the Parade
Putt-Putt® Travels Through Time
Putt-Putt®: Pep's Birthday Surprise
Puzzle Agent
Puzzle Agent 2
Q.U.B.E. 2
Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut
Quest of Dungeons
Quiplash
Railroad Corporation
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
Rain World
Raji: An Ancient Epic
Rapture Rejects + Safari outfit
Realpolitiks
Rebel Cops
Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville
RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
Regency Solitaire
Regions of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball (x3)
Relicta
Remnants of Isolation
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
Resident Evil 6
Resident Evil HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retro Game Crunch
Retrowave
Revita
Rime
Rise and Shine
Rising Dusk
Rituals
Road 96
Road to Ballhalla
Roadwarden
Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™
Rocket Birds: Hardboiled Chicken
ROCKETSROCKETSROCKETS
Rogue Heroes:Ruins of Tasos
Roguebook
Rollerdrome
ROUNDS (x2)
Rustler
Rusty Lake Paradise
RÖKI
S.W.I.N.E. HD REMASTER
Saints Row: The Third
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Satellite Reign (x2)
Scorn
Scourgebringer
Screencheat
Scribblenauts Unlimited (x2)
Secrets of Raetikon
Shadow Complex Remastered (Epic Games)
SHADOW TACTICS: AIKO'S CHOICE
Shady Part of Me
Shelter 2 (x3)
Shenmue I & II
shutshimi
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War (x2)
SimplePlanes
SIMULACRA
Size Matters
Slipstream
Sniper Elite
Sniper Elite 3 (x2)
Sniper Elite V2
Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder
Song of Horror
SOULCALIBUR VI
Souldiers
Speed Brawl
Spellcaster University
Spelunky
Spirit of the Island
Spirits
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: BATTLE FOR BIKINI BOTTOM - REHYDRATED
Spy Fox 2 "Some Assembly Required"
Spy Fox 3 "Operation Ozone"
Spy Fox in "Dry Cereal"
Spy Fox In: Hold the Mustard
Squad (Early Access)
StarCrossed
State of Mind
Staxel
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stick Fight: The Game (x4)
Streamline Early Access
Streets of Rage
Stronghold Crusader 2
Subsurface Circular (x3)
Suchart:Genius Artist Simulator
Sudden Strike 4
Super Daryl Deluxe
Super Galaxy Squadron EX
Super Hexagon (x2)
Super House of Dead Ninjas: True Ninja Pack
Super House of the Dead Ninjas (x2)
Super Lesbian Animal RPG
Super Magbot
Super Time Force Ultra
SUPERHOT (x3)
Surgeon Simulator + Anniversary Ed. Content
Surviving the Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag and Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tainted Grail: Conquest
Tales from the Borderlands
Tales of Berseria™
Tales of the Neon Sea
Tangledeep + Soundtrack (x2)
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Team Indie
Teleglitch: Die More Edition
Telltale Texas Hold'em
TemTem
The Adventure Pals
The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
The Ascent
The Ball
The Battle of Polytopia
The Blackout Club
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: MAN OF MEDAN
The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos + Goodies + OST
The Dwarves
The First Tree (x3)
The Forgotten City
The Gardens Between
The Henry Stickmin Collection
THE INVISIBLE HAND
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
The Legend of Tianding
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
The Quarry Deluxe Edition
The Red Lantern
The Serpent Rogue
The Stillness of the Wind
The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead - 400 Days
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead: Final Season
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Telltale Definitive Series
The Wild Eight
The Witness (x2)
theHunter: Call of the Wild
Them and Us
There is No Light:Enhanced Edition
Think of the Children
Thirty Flights of Loving
This is the Police
This War of Mine
This War of Mine: Final Cut
Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit (x3)
Tilt Brush
TIMEframe
Tin Can
Titan Quest Anniversary
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove (x2)
Tokyo 42
Tooth and Tail (x2)
Torment: Tides of Numenera
Total Tank Simulator (x2)
Tower of Guns (x2)
Train Simulator 2017 + Platform Clutter + Town Scenery
Train Station Renovation
Tribes of Midgard
Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
Tropico 4
Turbo Gold Racing
Twin Mirror (x2)
Two Point Campus
Ultimate Chicken Horse (x3)
Undertale
Unmetal
Unpacking
Valfaris
Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
Vane
Vault of the Void
Verdun
Vertiginous Golf
Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
Visage
Void Bastards
Volgarr the Viking
Wandersong
Wargroove
Waking Mars
WARHAMMER 40,000: CHAOS GATE - DAEMONHUNTERS
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart of the Forest
West of Dead
Westerado: Double Barreled
Where the Water Tastes like Wine
WHO PRESSED MUTE ON UNCLE MARCUS
Wildfire
WINDJAMMERS 2
Windward
Wingspan
Wizard of Legend (x3)
World of Goo
Worms Revolution
WORMS RUMBLE + LEGENDS PACK DLC
Wuppo (x2)
WWE 2K Battlegrounds
WWE 2K Battlegrounds + Brawler Pass
WWE 2K23
XCOM: CHIMERA SQUAD
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
Yes, Your Grace
Yooka-Laylee
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK HEADRUSH
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SPORTS
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK TELEVISION
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 1 XL
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 4: The Ride
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 6 The Lost Gold
Ziggurat
Zombie Night Terror
Others GameMaker Studio Pro
Ashampoo BackUp Pro 14
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Ashampoo WinOptimizer 18
Battleborn Starter Skin Pack
Darkest Dungeon Shieldbreaker DLC
Double Fine Adventure Documentary
GWENT - Ultimate Starter Pack
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 1 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 2 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 3 DLC
Mage and Minions - $10 In-Game Currency
Music Maker EDM Edition
Music Maker: Hip Hop Edition
PAYDAY 2: Sydney Mega Mask
Starfinder: Pact Worlds Campaign Setting
XCOM® 2: Reinforcement Pack
XCOM® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK MOVIES