In case you don't know, the Sun Princess is Princess Cruises' latest behemoth ship, carrying around 3,000 guests and 1,000 crew at full capacity. I just got back from a 2-week sailing and took meticulous notes on this epic new vessel. Here's my extremely detailed, no-BS review:

The Sheer Size is Nuts

When I say this ship is massive, I mean it's absolutely nuts how big this floating city is. Especially when you get off in ports and have to walk back down the dock to reboard - that's when the sheer scale of the Sun Princess really hits you. Even though it carries a ton of people, the only time it really felt crowded was during breakfast. The Eatery fills up quick and the International Cafe, which sits outside The Eatery doesn't lend itself well for crowds of people wiaint for their coffees. You kind of end up waiting in the middle of where the walking traffic moves.

The Medallion Life

Your entire cruise experience revolves around the new Medallion wearable device and app, for better or worse. I'll admit it has some creepy "Big Brother" vibes with how much it tracks your every movement and purchase. But the convenience it provides is undeniable.
The medallion is your modern day "cruise card" that you tap everywhere to make payments, order drinks, unlock your stateroom, get on/off the ship, and more. But what's crazy is the app can use the medallion to detect your location anywhere on board. Order a drink or meal through the app and the server will manage to find you anywhere on the ship to deliver it, usually within 15 minutes. Caveat: there were times when it took longer and other times when our order was marked "delivered" and it never arrived.
The medallion definitely feels like getting on/off the ship is way faster. The only time we ever waiting in line was for the few minutes it took people to run through security.
This made getting food/drinks almost too easy. On port days when we needed to get off the ship early for excursions, setting up a scheduled delivery of my Egg McMuffin, fruit plate in coffee was really convenient.
Fair warning though - if you're anti-tracking and value privacy over convenience, the ubiquitous Medallion system may not be for you.
Story: we were sitting by the Crooners bar having our nightly pre-dinner cocktail. The bar was packed on this night for some reason. A staff member in a suit started wandering the room, made eye contact with me from 40-feet away and then made a b-line for us. He wanted to sign us up for a wine/food pairing event they were having. I have to believe this is because of the tracking being done via the meddalion. They could see we drink our share of wine. It definitely felt like targeted marketing.

Premium Package Was Best for Us

We opted for the Premium beverage package at $80 per day and I'm glad we did for a few reasons:

1. If you need to have more than one device connected to the internet at a time, Premium makes sense just based on that (you can have four devices). The cheaper Plus package only allows one device, which was a non-starter for me needing both my phone and laptop to be online. I'm unfortunately not able to just live off the grid for almost three weeks and need to periodically check in with my clients.
2. The wine selection is way better with Premium vs Plus. As a wine drinker, the upgrade was 100% worth it.
3. Two free speciality dining meals are included, which was clutch on our 2-week cruise to break up the repetition of the main dining rotation.
4. Unlimited premium desserts and ice creams - a nice perk for those with a sweet tooth.

Basically, Premium removed almost any need to think about or worry over costs on board. For $80 per day, the premium drinks, speciality dining, better wines, desserts and internet made it an easy choice for our group's needs.
And for those wondering about the 15 drink per day limit (since there's almost a weekly post asking about it) - it was never an issue for me. I'm a scrotch drinker and to get a decent pour, you basically have to order a double. Even drinking doubles, I never got to 15 drinks/day. This even includes sea days where we'd typically have a mimosa or two with breakfast, a few cocktails/beers at the pool, an cocktail or two before dinner and then wine at dinner.

Staff & Service

I can't say enough about how incredible and friendly the service was across the board on the Sun Princess. Our room steward, waiters, bartenders - everyone went so above and beyond daily, it really elevated the experience. I'm always amazed how they remember everyone's names.
However, we did notice a clear slip in the quality of service in the second week compared to the first, likely due to a crew changeover partway through our sailing. Simple things like forgetting drink orders or getting meals wrong became more frequent from our new set of MDR servers.

Suites & Staterooms

We originally booked a balcony room. When the bid offer came in I followed some old advice and just placed bids on upgrades because "you don't have to take the offer if you don't like it." Well guess what, that's not the case anymore. My offer was accepted and we automatically became the proud recipients of a Reserve Mini-Suite for an additional $500. In hindsight, I'm glad it worked out. The room has noticably more space than a standard balcony room. These mini-suites are spacious, basically a separate living room and bedroom divided by a curtain you can close off. Having two TVs and an extra closet was great.
As mini-suite guests we also received a nice amenity of free premium wines in our room - on the second week they even topped us up with two more complementary bottles! I guess each week is looked at as a new sailing -- so you get two more bottles! Some older posts complained about the wine quality. It looks like it's been upgraded because we received a Pinot Noir and Chard from La Crema. Being California wine people, La Crema works great for us. If you can swing it, I'd highly recommend going for a mini-suite over a regular balcony.
That being said, I'd avoid the "Cabana" balcony suites. The layout is really bizarre and in my opinion a downgrade. When you walk out onto your balcony, it's not really a balcony. There's another area in front of your balcony that connects a few other cabana suites. The idea is that a few rooms share a private balcony with jacuzzi. However, it also means that walking out onto your balcony doesn't give you a private ocean view because there's this 20-30 feet of additional patio in front of you and everyone above you just looks down into your balcony area.

Dining Highs & Lows

Main Dining Rooms

It can be confusing because there are three floors (Decks 6, 7 and 8). We reserved dining in the MDR prior to the trip via the app for the first few days just so we knew there was a guaranteed place to eat. On night one, the dining room manager introduced himself to us and said he went ahead and booked our table for us every night of the trip. If we didn't show, it was fine.
Food quality in the main dining rooms (MDRs) was consistently good across breakfast and dinner. On port days, it's an "express breakfast" which just means a shorter list of options. Nothing mind-blowing, but solid and tasty. My biggest gripe here is the operating hours. On sea days, the MDR closes for breakfast at 9:00am. You basically have to choose between sleeping in a little, hitting the gym, or getting a decent breakfast.
Pro-Tip: Biggest breakfast tip is stay away from the scrammbled eggs -- they're gross. We figured out that the scrambled eggs come from a bag. If you want real, cracked eggs, either get an omelett or over easy/medium/hard/etc.

Reserve Suite Dining Access

The Reserve mini-suite gives you access to the Reserve Restaurant. It's a little bit more elevated of a dining experience and reservations aren't needed -- you just show up. We dined her a few times and it did feel more elevated. Unlike the MDR, the server in the Reserve Restaurant feels more personal because they're handling smaller groups.

Lido Deck

For more casual fare, the Lido deck had some surprises like an awesome made-to-order salad bar station that became my go-to for healthier meals between all the indulgent dining. The burger grill, taco station and pizza areas were pretty standard, but that salad bar slapped.

Lackluster Buffet

On the flip side, The Eatery buffet left a lot to be desired. Despite different themed stations, the quality was mid at best. We largely avoided eating at the buffet outside of quick breakfast grabs. The Eatery closes for breakfast around 10:00 AM. At which point if you move further into the ship, the restaurants that are normall Catch and Butcherblock become a buffet extension that's opened later -- it's kind of funky.
The layout of the buffet is weird and leaves people wondering if they're cutting in line especially when you go to the extended buffet at Catch/Butcherblock.
What's odd to me is you can go grab a million cheese plates, fruit plates or hummus/veggie plates at the buffet. But if you order those things through the Medallion app, it's not "complimentary." You have to pay like $4.99-$5.99 for those items. We still can't figure out why it costs $5 to order a tiny cheese plate but ordering a cheeseburger is free.

Specialty Dining Winners

We used our two speciality dining credits at Crown Grill and Butcher's Block. I was a little worried because I had read mixed reviews on here about both of these restaurants. However, both meals were really good and before you come at me, I'm a foodie guy -- I'd tell you if they sucked.
We chose Crown for my parent's anniversay dinner. The service was awesome and they made us all feel really special. The setup here is like a steakhouse, where you order your beef and then the sides are a la carte family style. We had a group of seven -- the manager just said "we'll bring you out all the sides, enough for your whole party" which was great.
The next week, we hit up Butcher's Block by Dario. I've never left a meal more full on a cruise ship than at this place. It's family style dining and they just bring out everything for you -- almost like a brazilian barbecue place. We started with a bread appetizer and a glass of wine while you wait for them to get the dining room setup. Then there's more bread on the table + veggies. Then the food starts coming out: beef tartar; beef carpaccio; etc. The main event is the massive tomahawks and porterhouse steaks they carve up tableside. They'll just keep putting beef on your plate until you beg them to stop. Finally, there's desert and a grappa digestif.
Both restaurants were great experiences and a very welcomed change from the MDR after a week of repetition. The food, service and overall vibe were a noticeable step up.

Spellbound

We also splurged one night for the Spellbound immersive magic/dinner experience and it was easily a cruise highlight despite the $150/pp price tag. After an elevated multi-course meal, you get ushered by a guy in a top hat into an exclusive hidden club. While waiting for the magic show, you hang out in their bar which is reminiscent of the Dinseyland Haunted Mansion. While enjoying your drink, there's a magician perorming more intement magic for everyone at the bar. Once they're ready for the show, you're brought into the room where the actual magic show takes place. Afterwards, you're welcome to hang out in the Spellbound bar and continue drinking.
If you're from LA, you probably know about the Magic Castle in Hollywood. Spellbound is an extension of the Magic Castle. Just like with the Magic Castle, you show up in formal wear. This means a coat and tie for the men and an evening gown/dress for the woman.
Overall, we really enjoyed it.

Room Service

This was hit or miss for us. You fill out the paper door hangar and place it on your doorknob before heading to bed. Then you hope and pray that it will actually arrive -- which in two of our instances, it never did. Your options are also super limited. You also may or may not receive what you actually ordered. With coffee for instance, you have a choice of ordering it to-go (paper cup) or stay (actual coffe cup). We always seemed to get the opposite of what we ordered to the point where it became a running joke for us.

International Cafe

This became our goto for a lot of things: coffee, snacks, quick breakfast food (pastries, coffee cake, avodcado toast, Egg McMuffins). Werid fact though: if you order the Egg McMuffin through the app, it comes as an egg patty just like McDonalds and with cheese. When you get the one at International Cafe, it's just an over easy egg and no cheese. Why they can't just be the same is odd.

Night Owl Needs

My main dining gripe was the lack of solid late night food options for us night owls. The Eatery buffet closed at an absurd 10:30pm, leaving only spotty room service or mobile ordering as the choices if you worked up an appetite after evening activities. More robust late-night casual dining would be appreciated.

Bars & Alcohol

Overall, great selection of cocktails. All of the bars have their own little theme and different menus. The ladies I was with were consitently impressed at the quality and thought of the cocktails at each bar. They were also super impressed with the quality of the glassware being used. I must admit, everything from the rocks glasses to the martini glasses really were beautiful.
If you just want straight spirits, you have to order a double to get a normal pour (they're actually measuring out the pours). That being said, with either Plus or Premium, you'll get a good selection of top quality booze.
You gotta try really hard to hit the 15-drink max. Some days I had drinks at breakfast, during the day, lunch, before dinner, during dinner and after dinner. I never hit my max.
One thing that impressed me was staff actually being concerned about drink quality. We were having drinks at one of the bars on the Lido deck. The supervisor was upset with the bartenders because they ran out of premium liquor and hadn't requested more. He made sure to remind them that when someone orders a premium drink they get a premium liquor -- no exceptions.
You also must checkout the Good Spirits bar. There's a few times throughout the night where you watch a live cocktail demonstration. The bartenders at GS are so fun and playful -- really makes for a great vibe.

Amenities - Hits & Misses

The gym facilities on board were a bit of a disappointment, especially for a new ship. While they had a nice assortment of cardio machines, the actual weight room was laughably small with only a few pieces of strength equipment that were always monopolized. Not a deal-breaker, but an area that could be improved.
The pool areas were nicely spread out across different sections of the Lido deck. On sailing days, there was typically a band, the DJ and then a random movie on the jumbotron. The random blasting of action movies at 3pm really ruined the pool vibe and it's typically when the deck would thin out. One minute you're relaxing in the jacuzzi, the next an action movie with explosions is shaking the pool area. It made no sense and seemed tailored for a much younger crowd despite this sailing's passengers being mostly older adults.

Technology & Support

In addition to the Medallion app, the overall internet speeds on board were fast and reliable enough for me to easily stay connected for basic work needs.
The technology support via the app's live chat feature, however, was utterly useless. Any time we had issues properly being charged for drink packages or had to modify reservations, the live chat was a time-wasting nightmare. You're clearly just talking to an outsourced rep with zero actual knowledge of Princess' systems or operations. Your best bet is to go in-person to the guest services desk.

Other Notes & Quibbles

• Dress codes weren't enforced at all. We did the whole suite/gown routine for formal nights only to see plenty of people still rocking jeans and t-shirts in the MDR. Same lack of enforcement for the "formal attire required" Spellbound event. Either lose the formal nights or enforce them.
• Our drink package tallies often had errors, with our group's drinks randomly getting combined onto one person's account. Always double check and ask for corrections.
• The "Cabana" balcony suite layout is bizarre - your balcony is just a shared landing in front of other suites, rather than a private space. We avoided these after hearing the lack of privacy.

I really just need a place to put this all out there. And maybe some of you can relate.
Its the workload. Its the sheer amount. I used to be in a career where I could see what I'd accomplished for the day, know what I needed to do for tomorrow, and that work could wait till tomorrow. I was proud of what I'd done in a day. This work is never-ending; keeping up with the lesson planning, the spontaneous meetings, the marking, the test making, the test checking, the worksheets, the answer keys, the emails. I can't keep up. I need 3 of me in order to do the job. I never feel proud of my work anymore. On really hard days, I come home and break down the second I'm through the door.
I can't remember why I thought the switch to teaching was a good choice. I miss my old career choice, I can only remember the love I had for it. And it feels too late. I only completed internships before I left that path, so I don't think I can get back in. I want out and I can't find my way out.

I can't remember a whole lot of details which sucks for trying to find this movie, only vague things.
Particularly what I remember though are two scenes,
The first scene is of the group of main characters running through a forest by a cabin while being chased by zombies I believe? But while this is happening a group of scientists are watching them, and for whatever reason I remember them having this whiteboard on a stand where they put tally marks.
The second scene is very brief in my head and I'm not entirely sure it was in the movie but I do relate it back, it was of the main character (a white teen dude with brown curly hair) inside of a bright white containment room and the room next to him has this black bile humanoid creature that had something wrong with its head.
That's all I remember, thank you for reading and please help me find this film.

Hi, I need help understanding my employer match but like in basic terms I can actually understand because for some reason I can't get this.
My employer matches 50% of 1st 4% of your contribution, up to max of 2% of your salary.
If someone makes $50k and contributes 4%, that's $2k. The employer will match only 50% of that ($1k)?
The employer also only 100% vests at the 5 year employment mark. Does that mean they only pay a percentage of the $2k (if you hit that cap) each year until the 5 year mark then put it all in? Like they're tallying it up to wait to see if you stay with the company?

Unlocking Email Automation in Excel VBA

Excel's versatility extends beyond data analysis and reporting, delving into the realm of automation that simplifies tedious tasks, such as email communications directly from your worksheets. The integration of Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) within Excel allows users to create custom functions, enabling the automation of creating and sending emails without leaving the comfort of their spreadsheet environment. This capability is particularly beneficial for professionals who rely on timely communication and data distribution, ensuring that reports, notifications, and updates are dispatched directly from their workbooks with minimal manual intervention.
However, navigating the VBA landscape to automate email operations can present challenges, particularly in ensuring the new mail item is prominently displayed in front of the worksheet and is sent after the contact is selected. Addressing this issue not only enhances the user experience by making email management more efficient within Excel but also leverages the full potential of Excel's automation capabilities. By streamlining these processes, users can focus more on their core tasks, knowing that their communication needs are handled efficiently and effectively.

Command	Description
CreateObject("Outlook.Application")	Creates an instance of Outlook Application, allowing VBA to control Outlook.
.CreateItem(0)	Creates a new email item.
.Display	Displays the email item to the user in Outlook.
.To, .CC, .BCC	Specifies the recipient(s) of the email in the To, CC, and BCC fields.
.Subject	Defines the subject of the email.
.Body	Sets the body content of the email.
.Send	Sends the email item.

Expanding Email Automation with Excel VBA

Delving deeper into the integration of Excel VBA for email automation unveils a powerful toolset at the disposal of users aiming to streamline their communication workflows directly from their spreadsheets. This capability is not just about sending basic emails; it's about creating a highly personalized and dynamic communication channel. Through VBA, Excel can interact with Outlook to manipulate various aspects of email creation, from adding attachments to customizing the email body with data directly sourced from the spreadsheet. This level of automation can significantly enhance productivity, especially for those dealing with customer inquiries, periodic reports, or regular updates that require personalization based on spreadsheet data.
Moreover, the automation process extends to handling responses. By automating email operations, users can set up rules within Outlook to sort incoming emails based on specific criteria, such as sender, subject, or keywords. This can be particularly useful for managing feedback or responses to the emails sent through Excel VBA. Such automation ensures that the workflow is not just one-way but creates a loop of communication that is both efficient and manageable. Implementing these advanced features requires a good understanding of both Excel VBA and Outlook's capabilities, highlighting the importance of integrating these powerful tools to maximize efficiency and effectiveness in professional communication.

Automating Outlook Emails from Excel VBA

VBA in Excel

 Dim outlookApp As Object Dim mailItem As Object Set outlookApp = CreateObject("Outlook.Application") Set mailItem = outlookApp.CreateItem(0) With mailItem .Display .To = "recipient@example.com" .CC = "ccrecipient@example.com" .BCC = "bccrecipient@example.com" .Subject = "Subject of the Email" .Body = "Body of the email" ' Add attachments and other email item properties here End With End Sub 

Enhancing Communication through Excel VBA

Integrating email automation within Excel using Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) significantly boosts the efficiency of communication processes, particularly in professional settings where time is of the essence. This integration allows for seamless creation, customization, and sending of emails directly from Excel, leveraging data within spreadsheets to personalize messages. The automation goes beyond mere convenience, enabling users to send bulk emails tailored to each recipient, schedule emails for future delivery, and even trigger emails based on specific events or conditions met within the spreadsheet. Such capabilities are invaluable for marketing campaigns, customer service follow-ups, and internal communication within organizations, ensuring that the right messages reach the right people at the right time.
Furthermore, Excel VBA's email automation can be enhanced with advanced features such as dynamic attachment inclusion, where files relevant to the spreadsheet's data or analysis are automatically attached to the outgoing emails. Users can also implement error handling to manage issues that may arise during the email sending process, such as invalid email addresses or network problems, ensuring that all communications are delivered successfully. With these advanced functionalities, Excel VBA becomes not just a tool for data management but a comprehensive solution for managing professional communications, reducing manual effort, and increasing the reliability and effectiveness of email interactions.

FAQs on Email Automation with Excel VBA

1. Question: Can Excel VBA send emails without Outlook?
2. Answer: Typically, Excel VBA uses Outlook for email automation, but it's possible to send emails via other email clients or SMTP servers with additional scripting and configuration.
3. Question: How do I attach files to an automated email in Excel VBA?
4. Answer: Use the .Attachments.Add method within your VBA script to attach files to your email. You can specify the file path directly in the code.
5. Question: Can I automate emails based on cell values in Excel?
6. Answer: Yes, by using VBA scripts, you can trigger email sending based on specific cell values or changes in the data within your spreadsheet.
7. Question: How do I ensure my automated emails are not marked as spam?
8. Answer: Ensure your emails have a clear subject line, avoid excessive links or attachments, and send emails through recognized email servers. Personalization can also help reduce the risk of being marked as spam.
9. Question: Is it possible to send HTML formatted emails with Excel VBA?
10. Answer: Yes, you can set the .HTMLBody property of the MailItem object to send emails in HTML format, allowing for rich text formatting, images, and links.
11. Question: Can automated emails include dynamic data from Excel?
12. Answer: Absolutely. You can dynamically insert data from your Excel sheets into the email's body or subject line, customizing each message based on the spreadsheet's contents.
13. Question: How do I schedule emails to be sent at a later time using Excel VBA?
14. Answer: Direct scheduling within VBA is complex; however, you can create the email and then use Outlook's Delay Delivery feature to specify a sending time.
15. Question: Can I send emails to multiple recipients using Excel VBA?
16. Answer: Yes, you can list multiple email addresses in the .To, .CC, or .BCC properties, separated by semicolons, to send emails to multiple recipients.
17. Question: How do I handle errors during the email sending process in VBA?
18. Answer: Implement error handling routines in your VBA script to catch and respond to errors, such as using Try...Catch blocks or checking for specific error codes.
19. Question: Is it necessary to have programming knowledge to automate emails with Excel VBA?
20. Answer: Basic programming knowledge is helpful for customizing and troubleshooting your VBA scripts, but many resources and templates are available to help beginners.

Mastering Excel VBA for Efficient Email Management

Excel VBA's email automation presents a transformative approach to managing communications, allowing users to leverage the powerful features of Excel to streamline their email-related tasks. By integrating VBA scripts, professionals can automate the sending of personalized emails, manage attachments, and even handle incoming responses, all within the familiar environment of Excel. This not only saves valuable time but also reduces the risk of errors associated with manual email handling. Furthermore, the ability to customize email content based on spreadsheet data ensures that communications are relevant and timely. As we continue to seek efficiencies in our professional workflows, the role of Excel VBA in automating and enhancing email communications cannot be overstated. It represents a significant step forward in how we manage data-driven communication, providing a robust toolset for professionals looking to optimize their email workflows and enhance their productivity.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/excel/automating-email-operations-in-excel-with-vba

I don't know about everyone else but I get curious just how much money my dinosaurs have quested, so I have created a spreadsheet to add up how many marks each dinosaur has quested and spent. The way it is set up, you should be able to download or make a copy of the sheet and fill in the costs for everything (prices of abilities/skins are listed next to their respective names). It isn't very fast to fill out as there are a lot of things to buy in the game, but hey I like numbers and thought it might be appreciated. This is currently just for the officials roster on both maps, but feel free to edit it if you want to tally mods or community servers.
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1HHVPSC-YreEFBFk30W0OhMteZtUc_NUI?usp=sharing

Battle beyond Saturn

They came out of deep space, always preying on weaker opponents. With their gigantic ships, they smashed through any system defenses they encountered before looting and pillaging valuable resources and food. No one knew where their home world was located to go after them.
They had a Behemoth Class Ship which had been up-gunned to have no equal in a 1:1 battle. Having laid waste to a system, they would disappear once again into the vastness of space. They were gone before anyone could assemble a fleet large enough to engage them in battle.

Pluto Station - Sol System

Alarms started ringing all over the station. Sensor satellites in the Kuiper belt had detected a large fleet emerging from jump, inbound to Sol system. Since no known convoy was scheduled, this was most likely the hostile raiders.
Captain Karlson - Commander Pluto Station: “Hail on all frequencies. ‘Unknown ships. Please identify yourselves. You are entering Sol System Space’. ”
“No response. I think we have our answer. All hands, General Quarters”
“Sensors - what do we have?”
“Eleven ships in total. One ship over 2 million tonnes. Nine large vessels from 600 kilo-tonnes to one mega-tonnes. And one smaller vessel approximately 150 kilo-tonnes accelerating and heading above the orbital plane”.
“Comms - open FTL channel to Fleet HQ at Ganymede Station. Leave it open and send continuous telemetry.”
“Aye-aye, Captain.”

Behemoth Class - Havoc

For Admiral Goranth of the H’runik, this was the 14th system raid and frankly, things were routine and boring. His Captains knew what to do and were getting into battle formation. The Scout Ship “Seeker” was already accelerating above the planetary orbital plane in its capacity of Spaceborne Early Warning. All engines and sensors, it was the one ship in the raiding fleet to have defensive armament only.
The only surprise was how quickly the natives had detected his fleet and sent out a challenge. No matter - their puny fleet was no match for his ships.
“Comms - tell the Captain of Smasher to take care of that station. I don’t want any surprises from behind once we are in-system”. Within a few minutes, the Admiral watched the ship fall out of formation and head towards the source of annoyance.
Jump drives could take ships between the stars rapidly. The bigger the drives, the further the jumps and consequently fewer jumps needed. However, once inside the gravity well of a star system, normal physics took over and ships were limited to sub-light speeds. Due to the mass and inertia of Havoc, Admiral Goranth was expecting to take about 10 standard days to get to the populated third and fourth planets. He wasn’t expecting the defending fleet to slow him down at all.

Sol Fleet HQ - Ganymede Station

Admiral Vir Singh (CinCSDF), thanks to the FTL data feed, watched the events unfold on the edge of the Solar System. He and his team analyzed the movements of the approaching enemy fleet.
Analyst 1: Marking them as “Bandits” starting with “1” from the biggest to smallest. On screen now. Those ten ships in the main body are huge. Even the smallest out-masses our largest carriers.
Analyst 2: If intel is right from previous raids, they’ve added bigger and many more weapons to the original designs.
Analyst 3: Bandit-11 ascending above the orbital plane is obviously their eyes. They will be able to watch and report our movement.
Commodore Perera: Hello? What’s Bandit-9 doing? He’s going after Pluto Station!
Admiral Singh: Ganymede Actual to Pluto Actual. There’s big trouble headed your way. Get ready to evacuate to the Charon bunker.
Captain Karlson (on comms): Aye-aye Sir. We saw them. We will be out of here within 20 minutes. Will leave the channel open and will take command from the bunker on Charon.
Admiral Singh: Destroyer Squadron 8 - hide in the Kuiper Belt for now. You can’t match the enemy and we will need you later.
“Admiral Singh to all ships. Recall all personnel and get ready to deploy within 12 hours. Replenish stores, especially ammunition. I’ll be calling a meeting with all Captains and XOs at 14:00 today.”

Behemoth Class - Havoc

Admiral Goranth: Seeker - report on enemy strength.
Seeker: This system only has three Dreadnought class ships. These have the biggest weapons. Then there are six heavy Cruisers. Their biggest ships are of an unknown configuration. These don’t seem to have any major armament. There are eleven of these.
Admiral Goranth: Tell me more about these big ships.
Seeker: They only seem to have close in defensive weapons. Analysis suggests they are big in volume but not heavy in tonnage so maybe some sort of troop ships or freighters?
Admiral Goranth: We’ll deal with those later. Tell me about the Dreadnoughts and Cruisers.
Seeker: Standard configuration. The Dreadnoughts may be a match for Smasher or Hammer but even together will not be a problem for Havoc. The Cruisers individually will not be a problem but they look like they operate in teams so the combined firepower may cause some damage.
Admiral Goranth: So, these are the ones we need to destroy first.

Sol Fleet HQ - Ganymede Station

Analyst 3: Bandit 11 is on station and watching our fleet movements. We won’t be able to hide anything while it’s up there.
Commodore Perera: Admiral, I have some aviators who may have come up with a solution. With your permission, we’d like to set up in the small conference room.
—
Lt. Wang “Hornet” Bo Wen (Sqr.Ldr): May I introduce Lt. Bill “Dingo” Saunders and 2nd Lt. Stella “Orbits” Ceres.
Admiral Singh: At ease. Have a seat. Tell me your plan?
Dingo: It was Orbits’ idea, Sir. She is somewhat of a genius when it comes to trajectories.
Orbits: Yes Sir. None of our ships have the power or the fuel to accelerate straight up to Bandit-11. However, we may have a way of looping around Saturn and using its gravity to slingshot up to Bandit 11.
Dingo: We estimate that 2 attack craft each with 2 buddy drones will be sufficient to take care of Bandit 11. Each ship will carry 4 torpedoes and the buddies have six.
Hornet: And our squadron of 4 attack ships with 8 buddy drones are volunteering. The extra ships and torpedoes will ensure that we get the job done.
Commodore Perera: You need to tell the Admiral all of it.
Orbits: Once we loop around Saturn and accelerate up to Bandit 11 to destroy it, we’ll only have enough fuel to turn around and stop our forward velocity. While we will be slowly moving back to the ecliptic plane, we will not be able to rejoin the fleet without a tanker.
Admiral Singh: What’s the timeframe for this operation if approved.
Hornet: If we leave at 12:00 Hrs today, we will engage Bandit-11 around 14:00 Hrs tomorrow.
Admiral Singh: My analysts will go through what you’ve written up. Get ready to go but wait for my approval. I’ll make my decision within the hour.

Sol Fleet HQ - Ganymede Station - 14:00 Hrs

All fleet encrypted holo-meeting.
Admiral Singh: Thank you all for assembling. As you know by now, we are facing a fleet of raiders that out mass and outgun us by a huge margin. But we do have a trick up our sleeves. They are used to slugging it out with the big guns, they have never encountered carriers and our strike craft.
Admiral Vassily: In fact, apart from Bandit 11, our analysis of the sensors on the big vessels is that they just don’t have the resolution to pick out the individual strike craft. Nor do they have any Close In Point Defense weapons to engage anything this small.
Captain Park: So how are we going to get rid of Bandit 11?
Admiral Singh: We have already sent an attack squadron to take care of it. If all goes to plan, it will no longer be a problem by this time tomorrow.
Admiral Vassily: So, since they are expecting to fight our Dreadnoughts and Cruisers, that’s what we will show in our fleet movement for the next 24 hours. It’s part of our Maskirovka.
The Dreadnoughts, Shambala, Shanghai-La and Taprobana will be at the center of the formation like a spearhead. Three cruisers on each of their flanks. The carriers will be in the rear. That is until Bandit 11 is destroyed. After that, they’ll spread apart to allow the carriers through. Since there is no need for a Combat Space Patrol to protect our ships, every strike spacecraft will be launched as soon as they are in range.
This meeting went on for another hour with questions and refinement of the plan. Everything depended on Bandit 11 being taken out as scheduled.

Squadron 471 “The Howling Wolves” - looping around Saturn

Lt. Wang “Hornet” Bo Wen: Wolf 1 to Wolf Pack - get ready for final slingshot burn.
“Wolf 2, everything green”
“Wolf 3, Green”
“Wolf 4, Green”
Five minutes later
Hornet: Burn in 3-2-1
…
…
Dingo: Wolf 3 to Wolf Pack - we have a problem. The computer went off-line and didn’t initiate the burn.
Hornet: Wolf 3 - Can’t you burn now and catch up?
Orbits: Sorry Sir. It was a tight window and we missed it. The computer crashed at just the wrong time and took the engines off-line. By the time we got the engines back up, it was too late.
Hornet: Wolf 3 - Return to fleet.
Wolf 4 - Tighten up formation.
Dingo: Aye and Sorry. Give them hell.

Behemoth Class - Havoc

Admiral Goranth: I don’t know if these Humans are brave or foolish. I expected them to run. But it looks like we are going to have some target practice soon.
Comms, tell all ships that I want it quick and easy. Just smash those battleships and cruisers on our way through. They are the priority but take out those troop carriers if they are in range. I don’t want to send anyone back to do cleanup.

Wolf 3 - still looping Saturn

Orbits: Hey Dingo, I’ve been doing the math and I’ve got a crazy idea.
Dingo: I’m not going anywhere, so let’s hear it.
Orbits: Between us and the buddies, we have 16 torpedoes. I don’t like the idea of going back to the fleet with a full load. What do you say that we expend them on that big bastard?
Dingo: How?
Orbits: Instead of decelerating during this orbit, we do measured burns and accelerate. We’re going to swing by Titan and use its gravity to send us towards the enemy.
Dingo: What about the Nav-Comp. What if it craps out again?
Orbits: I don’t trust it. I’m going to time all the burns and tell you where to point the nose. Do you trust me?
Dingo: With my life!
Orbits: There’s bad news! Once we swing around Titan, we’ll be going about 0.45c. We will only have enough fuel to make minor course corrections but not enough to turn around or stop. And if the enemy slows down, speeds up or even fractionally changes course, we’re going to miss them.
Dingo: So, this is a one-way mission. Okay, I’m in if you are!
Orbits: Alright! First burn is going to be in 6 minutes and 43 seconds, and I’ll give you a countdown.

Squadron 471 “The Howling Wolves” - approaching Bandit 11

Hornet: Wolf 1 to Wolf 2 and 4. We’re only going to have one pass at this. I’m going to aim for the engines. Wolf 2 - you’ve got the main body and sensors. Wolf 4 - hang back a little and hit anything that looks undamaged.
And remember, as soon as the torpedoes are away, do a hard 180º turn and full power to thrusters to kill forward velocity.
Tally Ho and Good Hunting!
Wolf 2: Aye, aye and good luck
Wolf 4: Let’s get them!

Scout ship Seeker

The scout ship had detected the nine tiny ships approaching but the defensive weapons couldn’t track or target them. They were just too small. Besides, what threat could they be? The captain hadn’t even bothered to inform the Admiral of these gnats approaching.

Sol Fleet HQ - Ganymede Station

Commodore Perera: Admiral, sensors indicate that the Howling Wolves have successfully taken out Bandit-11.
Admiral Singh: Excellent. Send an all-fleet message - “Execute Operation Anvil now”
The Battleships and Cruisers moved aside and allowed the Fleet Carriers to surge forward. So far undetected, the Destroyer squadrons made their way behind the enemy hidden by the Kuiper belt objects.
Admiral Singh: And now we wait.
Commodore Perera: Yes Sir. Oh, and a tanker has been sent to refuel Wolf Squadron. Except for Wolf 3 who is rounding Saturn again.
Admiral Singh: Keep me updated. Thank you.

Behemoth Class - Havoc

Comms: Admiral, communication lost with Seeker.
Admiral Goranth: What? How?
Comms: Unknown Sir. They were transmitting and then suddenly stopped.
Admiral Goranth: Try to re-establish contact. We need their data.
Sensors: Admiral, the enemy fleet is moving. The capital ships are moving aside, and those transport carriers are moving forward.
Admiral Goranth: This is not a coincidence. They must have done something to Seeker. What are they up to? Get me all the information on those eleven big ships.
Sensors: Sir, I don’t understand what’s happening but there seems to be a cloud in front of those ships. Our sensor resolution is not enough to see what that is. Our best guess is that it’s some sort of electronic countermeasures, but it doesn’t seem very effective against our sensors.
Admiral Goranth: Guess! That’s not good enough. I want answers.

Sol Fleet HQ - Ganymede Station

Commodore Perera: Admiral, all carriers indicate that every available fighter, bomber, attack craft and their buddy drones have been launched. The count is 2,267 craft with over 9,000 torpedoes, missiles and bombs.
Admiral Singh: Tell them not to bunch up. The enemy may not be able to track and target our craft but even firing blindly those big guns can take out hundreds if they hit.
Commodore Perera: Yes sir, the attack plan is to go above or below the enemy. We believe their guns have very limited elevation. They typically target other big ships by maneuvering their entire ship and firing broadsides.

Wolf 3

Orbits: This final burn has got us pointed right to rendezvous with the enemy fleet - nice flying. You bounced off Titan's atmosphere like skipping rocks on a pond.
Dingo: Hey, I’m only the driver. I just followed your instructions. And we are traveling at 0.449c - isn’t that a record in normal space?
Orbits: Yeah! But who are we going to tell?

Behemoth Class - Havoc

Sensors: Admiral, whatever that cloud is, it’s still coming towards us but is dispersing and slightly above and below our path.
Admiral Goranth: I was thinking space mines, but then why are they not in our path? Navigation, can we proceed in the gaps?
Navs: Yes sir. They seem to be leaving a huge gap in the middle.
Admiral Goranth: This still bothers me. I don’t like it.

Wolf 3

Dingo: On my mark, fire all 16 torpedoes. I’m going to target their bridge.
Orbits: All torpedoes armed and ready. You have plasma cannon as well.
Dingo: Stella, it’s been an honor and a pleasure serving with you
Orbits: It goes both ways, Bill.
Dingo: Fire …

Behemoth Class - Havoc

Admiral Goranth: I don’t like this at all. I want all weapons on all ships firing when we get in range. Open a channel to all shi …
The sixteen torpedoes and three ships slammed into the bridge area of Havoc. Just the kinetic energy due to the velocity would have been enough. But the delayed fuzes in the explosives caused even more devastation. The Admiral and entire fleet command were vaporized, as were sixteen decks and over 400 other personnel.
The sudden loss of communication from Havoc caused a vacuum in command on the other ships. There was just no structure in place for any other Captain to take charge of the fleet. The situation was unthinkable.
And that’s when the carrier strike craft struck. They specifically targeted the guns on all ten ships. In less than 30 minutes, the ships were defenseless. Confusion and panic reigned on all ships and exasperated by the fire and smoke and the blaring alarms.
Now, Admiral Singh sent in the Destroyer squadrons. The twenty-three Destroyers had been hiding in the Kuiper Belt and had stealthily been moving in while the enemy’s attention was focused elsewhere. They first hid in Neptune’s shadow and then Uranus’. Their job was to target the engines and sensors on all the enemy ships.
Pretty soon, all ten ships were literally blind and dead in space with their heads cut off. Now it was the turn of the Battleships and Cruisers. When they were done, all that was left of the ten ships was a debris field slowly scattering between the orbits of Saturn and Uranus.

Sol Fleet HQ - Ganymede Station

Admiral Singh: Please send my personal congratulations to each and every member of the fleet. Their actions will be studied for centuries to come. Now give me the numbers.
Commodore Perera: The actual number of enemy dead is unknown but estimated to be around 30,000 to 40,000. We captured over 5,000 and they are being interrogated. Unfortunately, none of these seem to be navigators who know the location of their home system.
Admiral Singh: And our losses?
Commodore Perera: I have the complete list here but 87 KIA, no wounded or missing. Top of the list are Lt. Saunders and 2nd Lt. Ceres. If Wolf 3 hadn’t taken out the bridge on the enemy ship, we might have had a bloodier fight. They transmitted all their data before they hit, so we know it was a suicide run.
Admiral Singh: This is the part I hate - writing to the families. Writing the after-action report is a breeze compared to that.
Commodore Perera: That’s why you have a staff, sir.
Admiral Singh: No, I have to do this myself. I sent them out to die. Medals just don’t seem to be enough.

H’runik Home World - location unknown

After 47 days, Seeker finally limped home. With only 2 of its 19 engines working, it was a slow journey with many short jumps. Most of its crew was dead. Fortunately, Ensign M’thul knew the coordinates to get home and Second Engineer K’gala kept the ship running … after a fashion.
C-in-C Admiral A’zeneth: Ensign M’thul, I want a full report. What happened to all our ships? Where is the treasure you should have brought back?
Ensign M’thul: Sir, I regret to inform you that the fleet was destroyed. They were ambushed. We almost didn’t make it back either.
Just then alarms blared as multiple fleets with hundreds of ships from several star systems jumped in around the system.
C-in-C Admiral A’zeneth: You fool! Why didn't you disguise your route back. You led them straight here! Now you have killed us all!

The War Scroll, also known as the "War of the Sons of Light Against the Sons of Darkness," is a unique text within the Dead Sea Scrolls that portrays an apocalyptic battle between the forces of good (Sons of Light) and evil (Sons of Darkness). This scroll provides insight into both historical and symbolic elements.
Historical Accuracy:
The War Scroll, while containing detailed military tactics and an epic narrative of the ultimate confrontation, doesn't explicitly reference any specific historical event or timeframe. Some scholars believe it could be a product of the community's anticipation of a future messianic conflict or a reflection of their own community's struggles against opposing forces during their time. Interpreting the historical accuracy of the scroll often involves exploring the context of the Qumran community and the turbulent times in which they lived.
Symbolism and Esoteric Wisdom:
The War Scroll goes beyond a mere description of a physical battle. It portrays a cosmic conflict between the forces of light and darkness, reflecting not just a literal warfare but also a symbolic and spiritual struggle. The text emphasizes righteousness, divine intervention, and the victory of good over evil.
Within the study guide, activities and exercises could involve dissecting the symbolic elements present in the War Scroll, exploring the deeper meanings behind the battle tactics and the metaphysical implications of the conflict. Understanding the symbolism could involve group discussions, comparative analysis with other ancient texts with similar themes, and exploring the impact of this symbolic representation on the community's beliefs and practices.
Here are a few activities and exercises to explore the symbolism and historical context of the War Scroll from the Dead Sea Scrolls:

1. Symbolism Analysis:

Provide excerpts from the War Scroll and encourage participants to identify and discuss the symbolic meanings behind elements like the "Sons of Light" and the "Sons of Darkness," various weapons, and the strategies outlined for battle. Group discussions or written reflections can help participants explore the deeper layers of meaning.

1. Comparative Analysis:

Compare the War Scroll's themes with similar apocalyptic or eschatological texts from different cultures or religions, such as apocalyptic passages in the Book of Revelation in the Christian Bible or apocalyptic texts from other ancient traditions. Create worksheets or discussion prompts to highlight similarities and differences in themes, symbols, and beliefs about cosmic battles.

1. Historical Context Exploration:

Present historical information about the era when the Dead Sea Scrolls were written. Discuss the political, social, and religious climate of that time, including the turmoil in the region, to understand how these factors might have influenced the composition of the War Scroll. Encourage participants to consider the possible motivations behind the text's creation.

1. Creative Interpretation:

Encourage creative expression by asking participants to create artwork, poems, or short stories inspired by the themes and imagery found in the War Scroll. This exercise allows individuals to engage more deeply with the symbolic elements and interpret them in their own unique ways.

1. Role-playing or Debates:
   Organize a role-playing activity where participants take on the roles of "Sons of Light" and "Sons of Darkness," debating their ideologies, motivations, and strategies for the ultimate battle. This exercise helps in understanding differing perspectives and interpreting the conflicts presented in the scroll.
   

Interpretative variations regarding the river's crossing in different ancient texts reflect the unique religious, philosophical, and cultural perspectives embedded within these narratives. These differences in interpretation offer insights into diverse worldviews and varying theological frameworks present in ancient texts:

1. Mesopotamian Context:

• In Mesopotamian mythology and literature, the Euphrates River often held symbolic significance as a boundary between the known civilized world and the wild, unknown realms. The crossing of the Euphrates could symbolize journeys into unexplored territories or transitions between order and chaos. This perspective reflects a worldview rooted in the physical and geographical division of lands.

1. Biblical Context:

• In biblical texts, such as those in the Book of Revelation or Old Testament prophecies, the crossing of the Euphrates carries eschatological significance. It may represent a divine intervention or a decisive moment in God's plan, marking the commencement of apocalyptic events. This interpretation aligns with the biblical narrative of divine judgment and the unfolding of God's ultimate purpose in history.

1. Gnostic or Apocryphal Context:

• Gnostic or apocryphal texts often interpret the river's crossing as a symbolic liberation or awakening. It might signify the release of spiritual forces or the ascent to higher consciousness, reflecting a philosophical perspective emphasizing spiritual enlightenment and liberation from material constraints.

1. Greco-Roman Interpretation:

• In Greco-Roman literature, crossings of rivers were often associated with mythological journeys or transitions between realms. The crossing of the Euphrates might symbolize a transition from mundane existence to a realm of mystery or spiritual significance, reflecting a cultural perspective rooted in mythology and cosmology.

These varied interpretations highlight the richness and diversity of religious, philosophical, and cultural frameworks present in ancient texts. The river's crossing serves as a flexible symbol that adapts to different narratives, conveying themes of transition, judgment, liberation, or cosmic transformation based on the unique perspectives of each tradition.
Exploring these interpretative variations allows participants to appreciate the complexity of symbolism within ancient texts and provides insights into how different cultures and belief systems interpreted common motifs like the river Euphrates. It showcases the intricate interplay between religious, philosophical, and cultural elements shaping the symbolism and theological implications embedded in these narratives.
The river Euphrates, a prominent geographic feature in ancient texts, embodies universal themes that transcend specific cultural contexts. Identifying these universal themes helps reveal shared human concepts of transition, boundaries, and transformative events across diverse ancient traditions:

1. Threshold and Transition:

• The Euphrates often symbolizes a boundary between known and unknown territories. Its crossing represents a transition from one state to another, signifying a pivotal moment of change or passage. This theme of crossing a threshold echoes the human experience of transitions in life, moving from familiar to unfamiliar realms.

1. Boundary and Separation:

• As a geographical boundary, the Euphrates signifies separation between distinct territories or civilizations. This concept of demarcation resonates with universal human experiences of setting boundaries, delineating spaces, or marking divisions between different aspects of life.

1. Transformative Events:

• Crossing the Euphrates is often associated with cosmic or transformative events in ancient texts. This universal theme reflects the human fascination with the concept of epochal change, cosmic upheavals, or moments of divine intervention that reshape the course of history.

1. Symbol of Power and Control:

• The river might represent a symbol of power, control, or geopolitical significance. Crossing it could signify shifts in dominance, challenges to established authority, or the assertion of influence. This theme resonates with human narratives of power struggles and shifts in societal dynamics.

1. Metaphor for Spiritual Journeys:

• Across cultures, rivers are often used metaphorically to represent spiritual journeys or quests. The crossing of the Euphrates might symbolize the pursuit of enlightenment, the passage to higher realms of understanding, or the quest for spiritual transformation.

These universal themes associated with the river Euphrates highlight fundamental aspects of the human experience—transitions, boundaries, transformative events, power dynamics, and spiritual journeys. The river's symbolism in ancient texts speaks to shared human aspirations, struggles, and beliefs that transcend cultural boundaries and resonate across different epochs and civilizations.
By identifying and discussing these universal themes, participants gain a deeper appreciation for the profound symbolism embedded in ancient texts and recognize the timeless relevance of concepts such as transition, boundaries, and transformative events in shaping human narratives and aspirations.

1. Historical Context:

• What historical events or societal conditions might have influenced the composition of the War Scroll?
  
• How does the historical context of the Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery contribute to our understanding of this text's significance?
  

1. Symbolism and Esoteric Wisdom:

• How does the War Scroll use symbolism to convey spiritual or cosmic themes?
  
• What esoteric wisdom or deeper spiritual insights can be derived from the portrayal of cosmic conflict and divine intervention within the text?
  

1. Comparative Analysis:

• Compare the themes and symbolism of the War Scroll with other apocalyptic texts from different cultures (e.g., Book of Revelation, The Book of Daniel). What common motifs or differences in interpretation do you observe?

1. Parallelism in Biblical Texts:

• Explore connections between the War Scroll and other biblical texts. How does the language, imagery, or themes in the War Scroll intersect with passages from the Hebrew Bible or New Testament?

1. Community Beliefs and Practices:

• How might the apocalyptic expectations depicted in the War Scroll have influenced the beliefs and practices of the community that produced it?
  
• Discuss the impact of such intense anticipation of cosmic conflict on communal life and religious rituals within the community.
  

1. Cultural Significance of Cosmic Battles:

• Across various ancient cultures, why do you think depictions of cosmic battles and eschatological events were significant? What might these narratives represent in a broader cultural context?

1. Interpretive Variations and Unique Perspectives:

• Explore the diverse interpretations of specific passages or symbols within the War Scroll. How do different scholars or traditions interpret these elements, and what underlying factors might influence their interpretations?

1. Personal Reflection and Modern Relevance:

• Reflect on how the themes of cosmic conflict, righteousness, and spiritual warfare in the War Scroll might resonate in contemporary society or personal belief systems.

1. Theological and Philosophical Implications:

• Discuss the theological and philosophical implications of a cosmic battle between forces of light and darkness. How does this theme intersect with broader philosophical inquiries or theological doctrines?

1. Literary and Symbolic Analysis:

- Analyze the narrative structure and symbolic elements present in specific passages of the War Scroll. How do these elements contribute to the text's overarching themes and meanings? 

These study questions aim to provoke critical thinking, promote in-depth exploration of themes, encourage comparative analysis, and stimulate discussions on the multifaceted nature of the War Scroll's content and its significance within ancient and contemporary contexts.

1. Archaeological and Linguistic Analysis:

- How does the physical condition of the Dead Sea Scrolls, including the War Scroll, impact our understanding of their preservation and historical context? - Discuss the linguistic peculiarities or unique textual features found within the War Scroll and their implications for translation and interpretation. 

1. Apocalyptic Expectations and Messianic Concepts:

- Explore the portrayal of messianic figures or anticipated saviors within the War Scroll. How do these concepts align with or diverge from contemporary expectations of a messianic figure in other ancient texts or religious traditions? 

1. Impact of Apocalyptic Literature:

- Analyze the enduring influence of apocalyptic literature, such as the War Scroll, on subsequent religious, literary, or cultural traditions. How have these texts shaped later beliefs or inspired artistic and literary works? 

1. Ethical and Moral Frameworks:

- Discuss the ethical or moral implications of the cosmic conflict depicted in the War Scroll. How do the themes of righteousness and wickedness contribute to the text's underlying moral framework? 

1. Role of Prophecy and Revelation:

- Explore the role of prophecy and revelation within the War Scroll. How do the prophetic elements contribute to the text's portrayal of future events and cosmic justice? 

1. Experiential and Ritualistic Elements:

- Investigate potential ritualistic or experiential dimensions associated with the teachings or beliefs conveyed in the War Scroll. How might the community have engaged with these teachings in their religious practices or communal activities? 

1. Literary Genre and Interpretation:

- Discuss the classification of the War Scroll within the broader genre of apocalyptic literature. How does its classification influence our understanding and interpretation of its themes and symbolic elements? 

1. Relevance in Modern Scholarship:

- Reflect on the ongoing scholarly debates or discoveries related to the War Scroll. How have modern interpretations evolved, and what implications do these new perspectives have on our understanding of the text? 

1. Intersection of Faith and Scholarship:

- Consider the interplay between faith-based interpretations and scholarly analyses of the War Scroll. How might religious convictions or theological frameworks influence academic research and vice versa? 

1. Future Research and Interpretative Avenues:

- Propose potential avenues for future research or areas of exploration concerning the War Scroll. What unanswered questions or unexplored aspects merit further investigation? 

The composition of the War Scroll, along with other Dead Sea Scrolls, was likely influenced by several historical events and societal conditions prevalent during the time of its writing, which is estimated to be between the 2nd century BCE and the 1st century CE:

1. Hellenistic Rule and Cultural Influence:

• The region where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found was under Hellenistic influence due to the conquests of Alexander the Great and the subsequent control by the Seleucid Empire. This era saw a clash between Hellenistic culture and Jewish traditions, leading to cultural tensions and a desire to preserve religious and cultural heritage.

1. Political Turmoil and Resistance Movements:

• The Jewish people experienced political unrest, particularly during the Maccabean Revolt against Seleucid rule. This period was characterized by resistance movements, attempts to preserve Jewish identity, and fervent anticipation of a messianic figure to deliver them from foreign oppression.

1. Religious Sects and Spiritual Expectations:

• Various religious sects existed within Judaism, each with its own interpretations and expectations of messianic redemption, purity laws, and theological doctrines. The community associated with the Dead Sea Scrolls, often believed to be the Essenes, likely had distinctive theological beliefs and a strong apocalyptic worldview.

1. Anticipation of Cosmic Redemption:

• There was a widespread belief in the imminent arrival of a messianic figure or a divine intervention that would bring about cosmic redemption, ushering in an era of righteousness and divine rule. This anticipation of apocalyptic events and a cosmic battle between forces of light and darkness is reflected in the War Scroll's themes.

Regarding the historical context of the Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery, its significance lies in multiple facets:

1. Preservation of Ancient Texts:

• The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls, including the War Scroll, provided an invaluable collection of ancient manuscripts that significantly expanded our understanding of ancient Jewish texts, religious beliefs, and the diversity of Jewish thought during the Second Temple period.

1. Insights into Jewish Sectarianism:

• The scrolls shed light on the diversity of beliefs and practices among Jewish sects during that time. Understanding the beliefs and expectations of the community associated with the Dead Sea Scrolls helps contextualize the theological and apocalyptic themes present in the War Scroll.

1. Confirmation of Scriptural Accuracy:

• The Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery contributed to confirming the accuracy and preservation of certain biblical texts, highlighting the continuity of textual transmission across centuries and supporting the authenticity of biblical manuscripts.

1. Impact on Biblical Studies and Scholarship:

• The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls revolutionized biblical studies, providing scholars with invaluable primary sources for studying ancient Judaism, the development of biblical texts, and the context in which these texts were composed.

The historical context of political upheaval, religious expectations, and the preservation of texts within the Dead Sea Scrolls contributes significantly to understanding the milieu in which the War Scroll was written. It provides a backdrop against which the themes of cosmic conflict, eschatological anticipation, and religious fervor within the War Scroll can be comprehended.

Disclaimer: I have to shorten the words on this one because the chapter had gone on for to long and stole the word count limit. Every person in this section has my deepest and most sincere thanks for the art, memes, and love they have shown my series.
Thank you to: for proofreading, editing, and this art. Check his fic here!
u/Talentlessfurry for this art.
u/Roddcherry for adding Novel to the charismas party he drew.
u/everyveryever for this art.
u/Emotion-Senior for the meme.
u/Orphandestroyer99 for the comic and art.
u/abrachoo for the meme.
u/guaiwutongzhi for the art.
u/United_Patriots for the art.
u/migulehove for the art(s).
u/aMANTEIGAdo for the art.
u/SlimyRage for the art.
Thank you to each and every one of these amazing people!
CW: Accidental Substance Abuse
Memory Transcription Subject: Novel, Kolshian Scientist and Self-Proclaimed “Gamer God”
Date {standardized human time}: October 19th, 2136
The elevator ride took a lot longer than I would have liked, my excitement and anticipation making it difficult to stand still. Ada’s room was almost at the top floor of the building — along with those of the other members of my herd — making it take a bit longer to get to than most of the other Humans’ I’ve visited while here.
Seems they are keeping the various tribes in their own groups. The fourth floor has the Germans, French, Polish, and Austrians, with a few Danes and Swedes mixed in. I wonder if they did that to keep the different tribes from fighting with ones they don’t like? Doubtful really, everyone seems to get along well enough, disregarding a couple jabs here and there. Probably just makes geographical sense to put them together.
My pondering was broken with a soft ding of the old elevator doors opening. I stepped out of the elevator quickly and took in my surroundings. There were very few humans milling about the quiet halls as they went about their business. One human with comfy-looking pelts had noticed me step out of the elevator and had frozen where they stood. After a short, yet still uncomfortably awkward moment, I gave a wave with one of my upper appendages and walked down a different hall.
A few moments later, I pulled out my pad to look at the message Sindre sent me.
Room 441, hailey and i went to get some stuff for the sesh. ada will be there in a bit. see you soon, {censored}
From: Sindre(Human)
I quickly typed out my own message.
Thank you! I’ll meet you there!
From: Me
Stowing the pad, I made my way there. Along the way I encountered several more Humans, each of which having some sort of reaction to my presence. Mostly just freezing in place or casting glances at me as I walked by. Some of them recognized me, either from when we baked together, or when I was in the rec room when the news dropped and gave me a wave in return. There was one case though when a Terran exited their room, saw me, and let out a noise I can only describe as a squeal before diving back into their room.
That last one confused me to no end, as I had never seen that reaction from a human before. I considered knocking on the door before thinking better of it and continuing down the hall to my destination.
How curious… I'll have to ask Ada about that human and why they ran away from me... Heh, prey scaring predators. Not so long ago, such a concept would’ve been seen as the ultimate goal, any real-world examples derided as only that of a dreamer’s fallacy, and yet now… I don’t think I like the idea so much…
I made a mental note to apologize to them if we ever meet again and kept walking, this time with my form hunched and my pace a little faster than before so I could avoid bothering the Terrans as much. It seemed to work, and the humans seemed to look away a little faster than they had previously.
Arriving at Ada’s door, though, I composed myself as best I could, straightening my back and taking a deep breath to calm myself. I knocked on the door a few times, only for it to open a slight amount. Cocking my head in confusion, I listened to the slight groaning of the hinges before I gently pushed it the rest of the way, the door creaking loudly in resistance.
The room smelled of wax and freshly harvested Othll bark, like I had just walked into the home improvement aisle of a store. Walking further inside showed me the source of the smell, which was a set of candles sitting on top of a nightstand in the corner… next to a fire alarm with the battery taken out.
That’s a little concerning… that can’t be safe at least. I should tell her to put it back in when I see her… wherever she is.
Looking around the room some more showed it to be quite unkempt, with pelts and other junk laying strewn haphazardly across the floor. Personal knick-knacks and picture frames sat on shelves and tables around the room, making the places feel a lot more homely than the other rooms I’d been in. A large TV sat on the other side of the room across from the bed, which had been recently used, going by the blanket on the floor and the pillows tossed about. Against the wall next to the bed was a large couch that had clearly seen better paws, the top layer peeling heavily and scattering the little bits of plastic covering everywhere.
Sitting next to the TV appeared to be some sort of Terran gaming console, complete with bright colors plastered across its many faces and with several different wires coming out of it. Far more than there should be, since part of the case it was in had been smashed to fit more cabling into. Tools, used wires, and broken plastic laid scattered next to the patchwork job.
Seems they really did modify it. Makes sense, since I doubt it would normally work on our systems at all… we should really put that fire alarm back in…
Just as I started walking over to inspect it, my lower tentacle caught something soft on one of the suckers. Looking down showed it to be one of the chest pelts Ada had been wearing the paw I met her. Closer inspection showed the whole floor was covered in discarded pelts, including some I had never seen before!
I let out a sigh as I looked around at the mess… I hope she doesn't mind if I cleaned up a bit.
And that's exactly what I did as I waited for my host to return. It did not take long for me to find the garbage can and hamper she used for her used pelts. While I worked though the piles, I took note of the stranger clothes I saw. Most of them were the regular chest pelts that I’d seen every human wear, but others were completely unique or otherwise somehow unusual.
One such example was what I can only describe as some sort of winter gear? It had a very intricate design on the front made of lace and a very soft interior made of a kind of purple fabric. What made it even more strange was that I found several of these scattered around the room, meaning that she was wearing these pretty regularly too!
Hmmm… perhaps it is meant to keep their ears warm? That would explain the strap on the back, as it would be meant to go under their chin. That doesn’t explain why she would be using it though, and to have so many! It must get cold in here when the A/C kicks in, I guess. This place is really old after all.
Either way, they went into the hamper. I left the tools where they were, in case they belonged to different people, but everything else went straight into the trash. The whole process was pretty exhausting, but the room ended up looking much nicer than it had before!
Just as I finished bagging up the garbage can, the door gave a loud creak as Ada stepped in wearing some pretty comfortable-looking pelts similar to the ones she had been wearing a few paws ago, pink prey head slippers and all.
A few {seconds} pass as she starts pulling out clear totes full of what I assume to be her things before I break out of my confusion and flick her a tail wave.
“Hey Ada! Whe-”
“AAAAHHH!!!”
She screamed as she stumbled onto her back, causing me to drop the bag and jump in fright. We stared at each other for a moment before Ada spoke up.
“Nov’?! What the fuck are you doing in here?! You weren't… ya Allah, you scared the crap out of me!”
My arms and tentacles raised up in a pleading gesture after I realized what I did. “S-sorry! I-I thought you would see me! And Sindre said to meet you here? F-for the games?”
Ada took a few more moments to calm down on the floor, but eventually, she stood up and took a few breaths. “You’re fine, squiddie… Sindre didn’t mention how close you were so… oh well, doesn't matter I guess. Uh, what’s in the bag you got there? Also… where are all of my clothes?”
At her observation, I picked up the trash bag and held it up for her to see. “Well… your room was a bit of a mess, a-and you were gone, so I did a bit of… cleaning? Nothing major, just throwing away some trash and putting the pelts in the hamper.”
“Oh, well, thanks Nov. I was gonna get to that befor-” Suddenly she stops herself mid-sentence. Her eyes widen as she casts her forward-facing gaze over to the pelts’ bin.
For some reason, the human's usual light brown features darken considerably with a crimson bloom. Ada turned to look at me, and I gave my best happy expression I could muster to put her at ease. This time, the human's face twisted into an obvious forced snarl before she gave up, running a hand down her face.
“Novel, j-just a heads up for the future, it’s considered rude to go through someone's room and touch their… pelts without permission. They are, um, quite personal belongings, and we don’t let other people touch certain ones. Fuck, uh, don’t tell the other two about this either. It would be, eugh…” Ada’s snarl gets larger as she looks back to the hamper, the crimson still blooming across her face. My tail flicked curiously as I looked between her and the pelt basket.
How peculiar… Hailey seemed just fine with dumping all sorts of pelts on me when she was showing them off. Perhaps that's because she studies it, so in that case it’s seen as okay? Maybe it has more to deal with how I came in here without her supervision? Predators are known to be territorial in the wild, and the Humans seem to be that way as well with their many borders. Letting someone into your ‘territory’ must be a pretty personal thing in the first place. Which would mean that she must be upset that I just walked in here and started messing with things! Speh!
A tentacle reached out, or up I suppose, to Ada’s shoulder while my tail signaled my sincerest apologies. “I-I am so sorry, Ada. If I knew, I would have never touched anything! Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone! Do you want me to… put it back the way I found it?”
The human seemed to find my appeasement worthy as she let out a quiet laugh. “No, Nov’, you’re just fine. Thanks for cleaning up too, I guess; I was gonna do it myself, but oh well… not something we need to talk about.” She lets out another laugh as she walks over to the modified console and grabs a controller.
Yet, before she could get a word out, there was a sharp knock on the door, followed by it swinging open to reveal the last two members of our herd. Sindre came in first, carrying several different bags filled to the brim with snacks of all varieties. He gave a simple head nod and rushed over to the table by the TV to deposit his haul, dropping a few on the floor in his haste.
Hailey walked in right behind him with a plastic grocery bag over her shoulder filled with many different colored bottles of drink and a tray of small dark-brown squares covered in plastic wrap. Her free hand gave us both a wave while she walked to the table in a much calmer manner, at least when compared to her compatriot.
We both gave our own wave in return while I spoke up. “Hey guys! Welcome! What did you get from the kitchen?”
Hailey set her things down on the table. “Not much. Some dried fruit, chips, cookies, soda, juice, and even some fresh brownies someone made! I assumed they were for the taking since they had a few trays sitting out to cool down, but we didn’t really have time to ask since we kinda rushed up here. Oh, and the kitchen stinks to high hell for some reason. Might have to tell Emmanual about that.”
My head tilted curiously at the information as Ada and Sindre moved the couch over to where I was standing. Once it was in place, I took a seat at the opposite end from Hailey. “Well, I’m glad you got what you wanted! Do you mind if I take one of those, uh, brownies?”
She gave me a hand wave as I reached over and undid the plastic wrap around the treats. They were still quite warm from the kitchen! I took a small bite out of the corner to get a taste of it, only to then gobble up the whole thing in one bite.
This is amazing! It’s like strayu but… richer? With an almost cough medicine aftertaste mixed with that strange spice? Such a strange and yet fascinating combination!
“Such a weird taste… but definitely a good one! Are there any more downstairs?” I asked while covering my mouth as best I could for the sake of manners.
She took one herself and took a small bite. “Yep, at least a couple more trays from what we saw. Though I bet most of those will be gone once word gets around.”
My head nodded solemnly as I picked up another.
Might as well enjoy them while we can!
Ada walked over to me and flicked the space in between my eyes with her fingers. Her other hand passed me a human game controller before taking a seat right next to me. “Save some for us, ya green goblin! Pretty sure we’re meant to share those!”
The humans let out a soft chuckle while my face warmed in embarrassment. Luckily, they didn’t stay focused on it for long before she pointed to the controller. “So, do you need help with that? It’s not exactly built for you.”
Moving it around in my appendages was more than enough to prove that fact, but I tried to give her a dismissive tail wave while sitting down. “Don’t worry… I should be able to make this work…” I said while using all four of my limbs to hold the piece of plastic. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it’ll do the job for now.
“Not the first time I had to do this. There are a lot of different species on Aafa, and some of them have very strange, uh, manipulators… you just have to get used to it.”
There may not have been a lot, or really any other species in my home town, but that college certainly did. Me and Cloyta used to hang out with a few different herds whenever we had the time. That Tilfish remote was an interesting experience to use. Having to use smells to figure out a puzzle in a game like it was normal was really something else.
The TV and console suddenly turned on with a bright flash as Sindre held out a remote towards them both. He used his controller to navigate to a menu on the system to reveal a vast collection of Human games. I grabbed my pad out of my pack to translate some of the games as Sindre scrolled by.
Doom of Kevsar, Helldivers: Super Dating Simulator, Papa’s Pizzeria, Skyrim 2… all these seem fine, I guess. At least not super violent like I thought… A good sign!
Sindre spoke up first as he continued to look through the archive. “Anyway, we were talking the other day about which game to show you first, but we couldn’t agree on what would be the best showcase. So instead of one game voted in from all of us, we are each going to show you a game we think you’ll like best. Sounds good?”
My tail thumped against the back of the couch in acceptance. “Yup! That actually sounds really great! Get to see a wider spectrum of human ‘entertainment!’ Who’s going first?”
“Sindre is…” Hailey speaks up in between bites of her confection, “His system, his pick… still think it’s a dumb fucking game though.” He says as he stops his scrolling and arrives at a very brightly colored preview with several… Humans? Human-like creatures in what look like Dossur vehicles?
He presses a button to select the game as a grin grows on his face. “Hey, Mario Kart Galaxy 3 is a classic! You’re just mad because you’re bad at it.” Sindre turns his head to me while Hailey leans forward. “You’ll love it, I swear. Really shows off the real Humanity we have to hide from you guys.”
“That's for a good reason, you dolt. But it’s your choice…” Hailey said while wiping her hands on a napkin.
I hoped he was right as some cheerful music started playing.
{Memory Transcription Time Advancement: 19 Terran standard minutes…}
Sindre was right! This is fun!
The upbeat music continues to play as I make another turn around a corner, drifting a little to build up some momentum. The ‘Birdo’ creature in my ‘Kart’ does a little dance as I time it right and get a small speed boost, sending me further down the multi-colored track.
“Hmmhmmmhm, hmhmhmm~.” I tried my best to hum along to the music as I continued with the race.
I never would have thought that a racing game could be interesting. Cloyta and I played a few when we were much younger, but they seemed slow in comparison. Usually had a goal at the end as well, like delivering some fruits to a market, or maybe trading on spacefaring merchant vessels in the more complex ones.
It was super fun though! Competing against each other felt a little off, but I wrote it off as a Human cultural thing. A way of bonding, as with most things for them it seems. Other than that, I found the racing to be a lot of fun! There was so much going on, and yet it somehow managed to really keep you aware of everything going on at all times.
A projectile here, a fruit peel trap there, there was so much to think about that I almost forgot to pay attention to the humans! Which, if I weren’t here to study them, might have been a good thing. There were times the competitive nature of the game seemed to draw something else out of them, something I hadn’t expected.
It was… well…
“If I run into one more fucking banana, I will kick you down a flight of stairs and jump on your head from the top step!”
“How the hell did that hit ME!? Broken fucking hitboxes in this shitty ass game!”
“GET YOUR CRUSTY TOAD ASS OFF ME BEFORE I RIP YOU ASSHOLE TO ASSHOLE!!!”
…intense.
My enjoyment of the game seemed to be pretty one-sided unfortunately. Even by the already high standards of the Humans’ previous banter, this was truly something else. While I was still learning the game and slowly climbed up the leaderboard, the Humans all led the herd by taking the top 3 spots every time. They were so close together in some of the races that it was nearly impossible to tell who would win until the last moment, making their yelling even more vicious and bloodthirsty.
There were times I thought they were about to get physically violent with each other once it got to the final lap, but thankfully, it never came to that, aside from maybe some light pushing. Their… banter? Fighting? Uh… verbal abuse towards each other made learning the game a lot harder too since every time I tried to ask a question, my voice would get drowned out in all the yelling. They did show me the basic controls before we started, but it’s a little hard to ask for pointers when your coaches are threatening severe bodily harm against each other.
As I drifted around another sharp turn, my mind wandered back to what Sindre said when we’d first started:
‘Really shows off the real Humanity we have to hide from you guys.’
Was this supposed to be the ‘real Humanity’? I sure hope not… I think I’d prefer if they actually came to blows instead of continuing this barrage of foulness they are constantly spewing. They don’t even seem to be enjoying it! They have to be doing it for a reason… right?
I continued to think as I continued down the track and finished my second lap. The argument was starting to build up again as the stakes started to rise.
“Oh, yeah, of course you get a red shell in 2nd and I get fucking bananas in 3RD! Gotta love this piece of shit game!!” Hailey shouted, leaning forward like she was about to pounce on the TV.
“Not my fault you can’t aim for shit, dumbass! Just throw better!” Sindre quipped back.
“How about I throw you out a five story window?! I mean, I would if your fatass wouldn't snap the floorboards if I tried!” Ada finished it as he gave her an aggressive shove with his shoulder.
Yet, unlike how I expected, she didn’t push back. That's what makes this all so confusing! Each time they antagonize each other, the other person does it back, and they just stop! Their words sound like they mean it to hurt, and their actions reflect that… but they aren’t acting on it.
Hmm… the ‘real Humanity’, huh… Maybe I’m approaching this the wrong way? Something less about who the Humans are, so to speak, but more how they feel? They’ve been awfully emotional in every interaction I’ve ever had with them… Aggressive, too, admittedly. Maybe… maybe this is a way for them to vent some of that aggression safely? Around people they really trust with a game you can complain about, but demands too much attention to leave them to do more than yell at each other? Things have been rather… stressful, lately.
My tail thumped a few more times against the dilapidated couch, sending a few more puffs of stuffing into the air. The theory kind of lined up with what I knew, but I was here with the primary source for a reason, after all. I would just ask them, but…
“I am going to FUCKING DEEPFRY THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM {Ass Violin}!!!”
They were busy.
They seem pretty angry… but if it helps them deal with their stress, then I am just fine with it. I’m glad they are getting through it in their own… ‘special’ Human way.
In any case, it was still better than damming it all up until it overflowed and someone really got hurt. Safe in the knowledge that the Humans (probably) wouldn’t actually attack each other, I just resolved to focus on the game instead. The third and final lap was coming around, and things were starting to ramp up even further. The Humans’ false violence got even louder, and coupled with the occasional and really rather distracting limb shooting out and the rapidly intensifying music, my poor heart was not in the best condition as our racers closed in on the finish line.
But then, all of a sudden, something very strange happened. The Humans simultaneously began to curse louder than ever before, screaming and wailing as an odd blue indicator flashed along the top of the screen, indicating some kind of blue spiky ball rapidly approaching us from behind. All three of them illogically slammed on the brakes, clearly trying to dodge the oncoming projectile, but it was to no avail. The ball flew right past my ‘Kart’ and struck the center of the tightly crowded humans, unleashing an explosion of blue fire that stunned all three.
Allowing my Kart, driving at maximum speed in hopes of any shot at outrunning the projectile, to shoot right past them and cross the finish line first.
Wait… what?
A brief silence hung in the air at what just happened until my arms went up in the air
“Hey, look! I won! Hehehe! I didn’t know I would get so lucky on my first try! Is that sort of thing… common…?”
I stopped my celebration as all the Humans were giving me very intense looks with their stares. They lacked the familiar friendliness most Humans looked at me with, but instead seemed much… angrier.
Speh, right. They are still mad from before, and now I just beat them at their own race… O-okay, they don’t mean it, they are upset and need to let it out. Just have to get through it.
Seeing what was about to happen, I curled in on myself and braced myself for the barrage of verbal slurry coming my way. A moment passed as I waited for the insults to fly but… they never came? Opening an eye revealed the Human’s expressions had changed from fury to…
Amusement?
“You alright there Nov’? You’re shaking pretty bad… Was that too much?” Ada asked in a quiet voice while patting me on the back roughly. It took a moment for my brain to catch up before I could speak again.
“O-oh, uh, sorry, I thought you all were going to… yell at me? Like you did with each other?” My voice was a little shaky as I unfurled myself.
All of the Germans seemed to wince a little at that. “Yeah… fuck, sorry about that. Mario Kart is a pretty rage-inducing game. Shoulda thought about that beforehand.”
My tail attempted to signal calm while trapped behind me. “N-no, it’s fine… I did learn a lot actually. It was fun too, besides the yelling part. Um, can we move on though? I think I’ve got enough out of this one.”
Sindre exits the game with a nod while the others let out deep sighs. “Yeah, sorry Nov’. It’s one of the most popular party games Humanity ever made, so I figured it would be a good one to show you. Next is… Ada’s pick… we sure we should do this one?”
The woman turned her head to look at Sindre. “Positive. They have a vegan option in the settings, so it’s not going to get us arrested or anything. Plus, it's a cooperative party game! Feds seem to love that whole ‘herd’ thing, and Nov’ liked the last one so I’m sure it’ll be fine!”
She gave a dismissive hand wave before turning back to me. “It’ll be fine, really. I played this game as a kid all the time, no need to panic, right?” She seemed a little worried at the end of that sentence, so I tried to put on a brave face.
“S-sounds great! What’s it about?” I mentally chastised myself for my stutter and reached towards the table to grab another pastry. “Ahem. There’s nothing predatory in it, right?”
She grabs one herself and a glass of an orange fizzy drink. “Nope, none at all! Just some harmless cooking with your friends! You’ll love it!” Her enthusiasm helped me calm down as the game started booting up on screen.
Overcooked 5: Season of Seasoning.
Looks cheerful at least. Cooking is fun too… It’ll be fine, yeah.
I took a bite out of my brownie as the game's main menu music started to play.
{Memory Transcription Time Advancement: 23 Standard Terran Minutes…}
You know… I think I get it.
A soft relaxing track played in the background as the four little chefs on screen ran around doing various tasks needed to keep the kitchen functioning, like preparing vegetables, or washing dishes. A timer at the top of the screen was slowly counting down while a little ‘onion’ next to it with a Human face rambled on about something or other.
Orders start coming in quick, and all of us get to work in a flash… or at least, all of us SHOULD be.
“Can you three stop licking the dust clouds in the vents and actually do something to help me, PLEASE?!”
A trio of Human giggles was my only response as I leaned forward in concentration.
This game. This brahking game. They should use this for testing for intelligence like those quizzes we took back home, since clearly some people go brain dead trying to do literally anything that isn’t getting in my stars-damned way, or otherwise waste valuable time by huffing the gas coming off the stove!
Finishing up one order of seaweed wraps and lettuce salad, I tried to get back to the kitchen, but was immediately blocked by… a plate on the floor.
“WHO-!! Why is there a plate on the floor?! The counter is literally right there! It’s such a simple job to-” A ding rings out, showing several new orders that needed to be filled. The timer started flashing red as we reached the one ‘minute’ mark.
A deep, frustrated growl builds in my throat, causing my Humans to laugh for some reason, incensing me even further! We all get to work in completing the last orders, however. Things were going well as the Terrans seemed to (finally) get it together to actually make some good food. Sindre had just finished cooking the rice while Ada chopped the carrots. Me and Hailey were putting everything together on the other side and sending it through until—
“Is, oh my stars, did you guys really send over raw rice?! It’s not even partially cooked!! Are you all a bunch of mountain dwellers? Do you eat your dry grass with a side of brahking pebbles and pond scum?! Cook it again!” I threw the rice back, hitting Sindre in the back of the head with the pile of rice, causing his character to fall over with a cartoonish thunk sound effect.
The Germans laughed loudly at the scene, which made my face heat up in frustration. The timer was running short as we waited for the rice to actually be cooked this time.
“Nov’, I, haha, I’m sorry. I’ll get it done this time, have mercy! I thought the last one was done so I-”
My head turned just enough for my eye to be focused solely on the pale Human. “IT WAS BRAHKING RAW!! There's a bar at the top that tells you! Do you need eye surgery?? Can you even pass a driving test??”
More laughter.
“AND STOP LAUGHING AT ME!! IT’S NOT FUNNY!!”
A ding came from the pot to signify it was done. Ada immediately took it out and walked over to the counter to pass it.
“Perfect, now just- what are you doing?”
She wasn’t passing it over. Instead, she was charging up her throw way more than she needed to. I was just about to say something as the clock flashed brightly ‘till she threw the rice at full force.
Directly at my little chef. The rice beamed directly off the side of my character's head, sending me flying away from the plate and sprawled across the kitchen floor as the rice landed gently on the ground.
“ADA!!!!!”
The countdown is drowned out by the humans erupting into laughter as I desperately try and recover. Yet, just as I make it to my feet, the countdown reaches zero, and the mission ends. Defeat fills my chest while the onion man does a little dance to tally up our points.
49600… only two out of three stars…
It’s over…
I slumped against the back of the couch, fury and betrayal stirring in my chest while the predators laughed to each other for several moments. Their raucous, howling laughter eventually started dying down, at least enough for them to actually say something to me.
“Nov’, come on. It’s just a game. I’m, hehehe, I’m sorry okay? We were just having a little fun is all.” She ran her treacherous hands down my back in an effort to calm me, to little effect.
“Dumb game. Stupid… start the next mission…”
She chuckled a bit. “Maybe we should play a different game. You don’t seem real happy playing this one.”
That made my tail flick in light amusement though the frustration. “Now you sound like my Dad…” My anger at the game started to fade more and more, replaced with a growing sensation of guilt. ”I-I think that’s a good idea. Um, sorry about that.”
She removed her hand, but kept her eyes on me and the gooey trail now stringing from her hand. “Eugh… hey, you’re fine. If you can deal with us screaming at each other, then we can handle your little squeaks.”
The other two smiled and nodded in agreement while I looked at her in confusion, feeling a little offended. “My… squeaks? But, um, thank you... W-what's the next game? Hailey’s turn, right?”
On cue, she brushes her mane to the side and starts scrolling down. “Yes, actually! Unlike these two walnuts, I actually picked a relaxing game. A classic. An art piece~” Her hands did a slight flair, yet I remained unmoved.
“Hailey, that's what the other two said too. While those games were… fine, I wouldn’t call them ‘masterpieces.’ Are you sure about this one?” I asked while grabbing another brownie.
I keep eating these things, but I just feel more and more hungry… weird…
The Humans chucked as she selected her game. “Hey, have a little faith in me. I haven't met a Human alive that can say this game is bad. Just watch!”
A flash came from the TV as the game's title came into view.
Minecraft: Anniversary Edition.
“We’ll use one of the worlds we were playing on back on Earth so you can get an idea of what it’s really like. And, uh, make sure it's peaceful too, just in case.”
I took a bite of the treat and settled into my spot, preparing myself for whatever was to come.
{CONTINUED INTO THE COMMENTS}

Disclaimer: This post is merely to provide knowledge, and not to instruct you to do anything. Your choice whether to choose the Science One program at UBC or not is completely up to you. I hope this helps in making an informed decision.
I just thought I would contribute to the existing public knowledge of the Science One program already on Reddit here: https://www.reddit.com/UBC/comments/ec95t4/for_anyone_interested_in_science_one/ My post assumes you already did basic research on the program and aims to contribute more knowledge that isn’t publicly available yet (here is the Science One website: https://scienceone.ubc.ca)
I am an alumni in the 2023-2024 cohort, but just a disclaimer that a few things will change in the program in the years to come (see below):
Just a few small updates to the previous Reddit post:

• BIOL 140 is no longer a mandatory component of Science One so there will be no associated biology labs.
• There are three STT’s, where you can find here for the updated schedules for your year: https://scienceone.ubc.ca/resources

Note about grades: While Science One is promoted as a program where the students care more about knowledge than grades, while this is very true in my personal experience, I still think that grades played a large impact on our mental health, confidence, and our overall enjoyability of the first year experience. The reason I am including grades here is to allow you to have reasonable expectations about your grades and know that if you want to go into a very competitive specialization in second year, Science One may not be the right program for you. Note that the grades published on UBC grades (https://ubcgrades.com) is not representative of the actual class average. There is a policy where if a student failed two or more subjects in Science One, the credit for Science One will be broken down into its individual course components and the student will not appear to have been in Science One (it doesn’t show Science One on their transcript, rather the rough course equivalents). This raises the apparent class average reported. In my year, 3 people were removed, which changed the class average from 75% to 77%.
Alright, with that out of the way, I will be filling in the gaps of public knowledge specifically with the workload of Science One. Below is a (hopefully) unbiased perspective on Science One. My personal opinion will be stated later in this post.
Biology
Note: both of our biology professors (Pam Kalas and George Haughn) are no longer teaching in the program, so this subject may look very different

• Weekly 10 minute quizzes (quiz average 15% of biology grade), consisting normally of two to three written questions (be sure to learn to type very fast and think fast, especially since these quizzes are normally at 8:30am in the morning)
  • However, we get one quiz drop per term where our lowest quiz mark is discarded
  • Generally the quiz average is around 74%
• Biology Midterm “superquiz” once a term (20% of biology grade, can replace quiz average if the mark is higher so can be worth up to 35%) which is around 55 minutes and consists of around 10 long written questions (however, this is very little time for the amount of thinking and typing necessary to succeed so learn to type fast!)
  • Average was around 74% and 60% respectively for terms 1 and 2
• Biology assignments for completion/participation (10%) around once every 1-2 weeks ~ somewhat simple compared to the complexity of the quizzes and midterm, takes around 15-20 minutes per assignment
• Pre-readings per week around 2 hours, critical to understanding the class material
  • Pre-readings are found in study guides provided to us or on public webpages, there is no textbook for biology
• One tree project in term 1 where you are tasked with finding and identifying five different tree species around campus
• 2.5 hour final exam (50%), however, if you do better on your final exam than midterm average, it can replace the midterm average (so can be worth up to 85% of your grade)
  • Consists of written answers with explanations (I found this final to always be very rushed, finishing writing my answers with around 1 minute to spare)
  • Typically, since the final exams are so difficult, very few people will be able to get a higher mark on the final exam than the midterm
  • Average was 65% in term 1, term 2 grades not available

Overall: 3-10 hours of work per week depending on your thinking speed and how busy that week’s schedule is
Class average over the year: 71%
Term 1 Units: Great Bear Rainforest, Metabolism, DNA, Gene Expression, Genetics
Term 2 Units: Genetics (Continued); Phylogenies, Speciation, Population and Community Dynamics; Macromolecular Self Assembly; Regulation of Gene Expression; Biological Energy Transformation
Biology Tutorials

• Salmon project ~ year long project where we test the DNA of salmon through learning gel electrophoresis strategies
  • Very minimal prep work, maximum 30 min per tutorial

Chemistry
Note: One professor is no longer teaching in Science One (John Sherman), but the other is staying (Guillaume Bussiere), so this may be different in your year

• Around biweekly unit quizzes (40%), five per term, each quiz around 30 minutes, double sided with around 15-25 questions, with both multiple choice and written answer questions
  • Around 74% averages
  • One quiz drop per term
• Assignments (10%) consisting of worksheets provided in class (takes around 30 minutes-1 hour per assignment) and questions submitted on a paid ($70 if I remember correctly) homework submission website called Achieve
• 2.5 hour final exam (50%) consisting of theory based questions, organic chemistry, multiple choice, and calculation
  • 69% average in term 1, term 2 grades not available

Overall: 2-5 hours of work per week depending if there’s quizzes or assignments that week
Class average over the year: 75%
Term 1 Units: Chemical Bonding and Basics, Conformations, Stereochemistry, Thermodynamics, Electrochemistry
Term 2 Units: Kinetics, Quantum Chemistry, Intermolecular Forces (not really a whole unit, more like a supplementary lecture), Valence Bond Theory and Molecular Orbital Theory, Acid Base Chemistry, SN1 and SN2 Reactions
Chemistry Tutorials

• some coding based tutorials for quantum chemistry, little to no prep work, but knowledge of python coding is needed (but you will learn in Science One), submission of a worksheet for marks
• Organic chemistry worksheets, guided by the professors, but no submission necessary

Chemistry Labs (Chem 121, Chem 123 equivalents for term 1 and 2 respectively)

• Biweekly 3 hour lab sessions, where we are performing experiments and recording notes in our EDF
• Prep work: normally on our “off weeks”, we need to fill in our EDF and do the prep work (around 3-5 hours)
• In term 2, we also need to submit lab reports for each lab session (takes around 1-2 hours to write)

Overall class average (I forgot): around 85%
Physics

• Two long form assignments per term (20%, so 10% each assignment), each assignment generally consists of collecting data related to something learned in class, and analyzing it
  • Data collecting and analysis can take around 2-6 hours spread over the week (generally how long it takes to complete the assignment)
  • Around 80% averages
• Biweekly quizzes (30%), total 5 per term, one hour long open book online quizzes, consisting of 12 multiple choice or calculation questions
  • Around 75% averages
  • one quiz drop per term
• Prereadings assignments (4%) on WebWork (around once every two weeks, but very inconsistent schedule), consisting around 3-4 multiple choice/calculation based questions
  • Most often, there is no prereading assignment, but there are around 6-7 sections of prereading assigned per week of lecture of online OpenStax textbooks
    • Personally, I did not do them, but still survived, as the prereadings can take up to 3 hours depending on your reading speed and intended depth of read
• Homework assignments (6%) around once every two weeks consisting of 8-11 multiple choice and calculation based questions, requires a lot of knowledge of theory rather than plugging in numbers into equations
• 2.5 hour open book final (40%) consisting of both multiple choice (submitted on Canvas) and long written answer questions (paper copy, but submitted on Canvas)
  • 60% average in term 1, term 2 grades not available

Overall: around 2-5 hours of work per week depending on if there’s quizzes, long assignments, or assignments
Class average over the year: 76%
Term 1 Units: Measuring and Modelling Motion, Motion and Conservation Laws, Thermodynamics, Rotational Motion, Special Relativity
Term 2 Units: Waves, Quantum Mechanics, Electrostatics, Circuits, Magnetism and Magnetic Fields, Stellar Nucleosynthesis
Physics Tutorials

• Generally working on worksheets with the guidance of professors, very helpful for understanding the content better, but worksheets are not submitted

Physics Labs (Phys 119, Phys 129)

• 3 hour sessions per week, consisting of data collection and data analysis, learn plenty of Python and basic statistical tests (however, most labs in term 1 are very rushed, but in term 2 there is much more spare time)
• Prep work in term 1 takes around 1-2 hours per lab, consisting of submitting a Jupyter notebook with code so we understand the code we need to use in the lab
• Prep work in term 2 takes around 15 minutes - 2 hours, mostly doesn’t have as much prep work as term 1
  • Rarely Jupyter lab notebooks for submission, most weeks we just preread what we are doing in the lab and that is sufficient

Class average (I forgot): around 85%
Mathematics

• Midterms “tests” (25%) three per term, around 50 minutes, and consisting of 3-4 written questions (average is usually around 60%, but we have had two instances of failed average midterms resulting in scale [but don’t rely on a scale, it is very rare!]), however, we get one midterm drop per term, where it is not counted in our average
• Assignments (16%) consisting of three long assignments with written answers that take around 2-4 hours to complete, and weekly two WebWork assignments that are around 6-12 questions, calculation and theory based
• Weekly quizzes (9%), with one quiz drop per term
  • 15 minute quizzes with 3 questions, generally a little rushed but doable
• 2.5 hour final (50%)
  • Average 67% in term 1, term 2 grades not available
• Pre-reading assignments not for marks, takes around 2 hours per week (personally I didn’t do any and I was ok)

Overall workload: around 3-6 hours per week depending if there’s assignments, and midterms that week
Class average over the year: 72%
Term 1 Focus: Derivatives and ODE’s
Term 2 Focus: Integration
Term 1 Project (partnered)

• consists of a presentation and mind map of a topic that we research in depth using primary literature
• Around biweekly meetings with our mentor, and mini check in assignments

Overall workload: around 1 hour per week, but can be up to 4 hours when preparing for the presentation
Class average: around 85%
Term 2 Project (partnered)

• consists of a project designed personally by you and a partner to measure something and report on it in a 3000 word paper (90%) and a presentation to our peers (10%)
• Weekly check ins with mentor, or round table discussion with updates

Overall workload: anywhere from 0-8 hours a week depending on the complexity of the project
Class average: 75%
Summary
With that in mind, I want to provide some pros and cons of Science One:
Pros

• Unique connections to professors
• Community with fellow students, and can form a very close knit group of people who are like-minded
• Blended grade at the end of the school year, so if you do bad in one subject but good at the rest, you can “hide” the bad mark
• Networking with professionals at guest speakers
• Having all your classes in one classroom, to avoid rushing across campus between classes
• Allows you to see how all science subjects interconnect
• Provides a deeper knowledge of all topics, basically an honours version of first year Science
• No stress about designing your own timetable
• Research experience in term 2 project can help with research applications in the future
• Study spaces for only Science One students, very helpful especially during finals season

Cons

• grading is a little harsh (very harsh in biology in my opinion) and there is no scaling at the end of the school year, so you may not get into your desired major if it is very competitive to get into
• You also are not prioritized for major selection compared to mainstream (ie if you get a 70% and a mainstream student gets a 71%, they will be prioritized)
• Workload is very intense, sometimes it felt like there was no break for ourselves
• Mental health and stress levels
• Blended grade at the end of the school year, so if you do really good in one subject it may be hidden
• Busy workload means less free time, so some relationships outside of Science One may dwindle
• Very hard to take elective courses on top of Science One, because of the busy schedule and demanding workload (might make it harder to get into Computer Science because of its prerequisites)
• Science One only offers 28 credits (6 for two terms of, biology, physics, math, and chem each, with 2 for two terms of chemistry labs and physics labs each), meaning that our term 1 and term 2 work do not provide us any credit
  • Science One disqualifies students from taking SCIE 113 (a communication requirement), but does not give any credits for it

Personal Opinion
While I did enjoy Science One at the start of the school year because of the pros mentioned above, over the school year, I started taking an interest in a competitive major, which put a lot of stress on myself to achieve high marks. It almost felt like no matter how hard I tried and how well I thought I knew the topic, my mark was going to be low anyways because the way the content is tested. I feel like I shot myself in the foot when it comes to getting into my major as the application process is completely based on grades.
While I don’t know if I would have done better in mainstream (I probably wouldn’t have had as many friends, and therefore my mental health would be worse, and possibly it means that I don’t have as much motivation), I definitely think that I could have done better in mainstream if I had the same motivation I do now as their way of testing and marking may be a lot more lenient. However, I am almost certainly sure that if my cohort were placed into mainstream classes in first year, we would have achieved much higher grades than we did in Science One. However, I don’t know if being in Science One could have an effect on my performance in the years to come. I do acknowledge that over the year, I was able to develop really good study habits to manage the workload and also learned to prioritize my health, which will be beneficial in the future.
However, I have also noticed that there are some “hell weeks”, where we absolutely feel like dropping out. In both terms, after term 1 and 2 conferences, where we were away at camp for the weekend (we didn’t have the weekend to do schoolwork), there was a week where there were many overlapping assessments, such as math midterms, chemistry quizzes, math assignments, and chemistry assignments, etc. These are the assessments that ended up having class averages which were below expectations, which I feel wasn’t our fault at all.
In fact, we were burnt out, but because of our wonderful Student Council, we were able to have some assignments pushed back to alleviate some of our workload and reduce burnout. Special thanks to our chemistry professors, as they were always open to planning the chemistry quizzes on days that weren’t as bad for us, and even asked us which day we wanted the quizzes. I can tell they really care about our wellbeing and our performance.
In addition, even though Science One is marketed as being prestigious, most of the people I talk to don’t even know what Science One is, and the few who do know it, know it for its intensive nature and harsh marking scheme. There is no special treatment for Science One graduates that I know of except for the occasional “wow how did you survive?”.
Generally, I don’t regret doing Science One, but if I had the chance to restart first year, I would have chosen to go the mainstream route. I feel I would have been a lot less stressed and have gotten much better grades. However, I did meet so many motivated and amazing people this year, and have generally enjoyed some aspects such as camp. Unfortunately, because of my desired major, I have seen Science One as something that may have limited my options in the future.
Do I think Science One is for you?
These are my personal opinions and please don’t take this section as the final decider for you. Be sure to do more research!
To succeed in Science One, talent can only go so far. At some point you will be challenged academically, and you will doubt yourself. But what follow is what really determines if you are a good fit for Science One. If you want to give up and do something easier, go to mainstream. If you want to persevere and to learn more, Science One may be the right choice for you. If just you want the prestige of Science One, don’t do Science One, it is not as well known as their website may make it seem. If you want to go into Computer Science, Science One may not be for you since it has little connection to Computer Science and really lowers your mark.
If you really are hard set on a competitive major which requires high marks, consider mainstream, since it is very rare and very very difficult to do well in Science One. If you really love to learn more difficult concepts, have a tight community to be by your side, to have good connections to your professors, to get some research experience, AND grades aren’t a huge concern for you, Science One is for you.
Again, take my opinion with a grain of salt. You are ultimately the right person who can make the right choice for yourself. You know yourself the best. I hope this helped and I wish you all the very best in your studies, whether you decide to go Science One or not. Feel free to DM me or reply below if you have any further questions :)

If I see one more goddamn "But he can't stop himself once he starts" post I'm going to eat my nipple hairs. Why in the fuck is "Yeah Batman will completely freak and start doming jaywalkers" seen as a acceptable and good reason as to why Batman doesn't kill, you've somehow made him more of a fucking psycho than a good third of his goddamn rouges gallery, and the only reason as to why it's only half is because the rest is composed of straight up serial killers.
Right, yeah, forgot the fucking crucial aspect, the people that Batman is really protecting through his asinine """moral code""" are a pack of genuine degenerates that seem to need to murder some poor sod every 6 fucking seconds in order to keep on living.
Remember when Azreal was going """too far""" when he was temping for Bats? Yeah, he was going too hard on poor innocent Zsaz who is... A crazed serial killer covered in dozens of tally marks who gets off on killing people and had broken into a girls dorm. Yeah, real redeemable material there, surely won't simply just get lynched by the families of everyone he killed when Santa relocates to hell and he repairs his mental state.
EDIT: IT WAS BRUCE NOT BIG A MY BAD
FUCK, let's look at Bane- motherfucker had a few dreams in prison and then decided it was completely in his rights to unleash aformentioned psychos onto an entire city so he could kill the guy who defended it because he wanted to establish dominance or some goddamn shit.
"W-well, Batman doesn't have an obligation to take care of the criminals"
YES HE FUCKING DOES AT THIS POINT. If the goddamn "systems" keep letting the motherfucking Joker go, I think that's the point where you stage a goddamn revolution and kill the incompetents in charge of the damn system along with the green haired prick! This happens in real life!
YES I FUCKING KNOW IT'S ALL COMIC BOOK LOGIC, BUT I WOULDN'T FUCKING HATE IT IF THEY DIDN'T KEEP SPAMMING THE MORAL ISSUE AND KEPT GIVING US "DON'T KILL" AS THE ANSWER!!!!!!!!
Holy fucking shit, you'd think with people going "Batman should kill" every other week you'd think they'd lay this thing to rest but they can't for some reason! It's always this bullshit that always results in the same answer, Batman doesn't kill- and it's fucking boring. It's goddamn insane!
If the Dark Knight Returns and Killing Joke didn't exist, you'd think they were made-up arguments against the no-killing rule!
"Hey what if Joker faked being cured to slaughter an entire crowd of people and a guy who genuinely believed in him and then went on to murder a shitload of children and rampage through a fair for shits and giggles?"
"Don't matter, Batman doesn't kill"
"Hey what if Joker shot Barbra and tried to drive Jim insane by making him think the Joker raped her?"
"Don't matter, Batman doesn't kill"
It is my genuine unironic opinion that the best and most satisfying way Batman can win against Joker as a final victory is that he snaps his neck and moves on with his life completely unaffected.

Astros @ Tigers - Sun, May 12

Game Status: Final - Score: 9-3 Astros

Links & Info

• MLB Gameday
• Game Graphs
• Savant Gamefeed

	Astros Batters	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	K	LOB	AVG	OBP	SLG
1	Tucker - RF	3	1	1	2	2	2	1	.271	.397	.590
2	Peña - SS	5	0	1	0	0	0	6	.340	.384	.471
3	Alvarez, Y - DH	5	1	2	0	0	1	4	.256	.330	.449
4	Bregman - 3B	5	1	1	0	0	1	3	.201	.270	.264
	Kessinger - 3B	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	.000	.000	.000
5	Singleton - 1B	4	2	2	0	1	1	1	.232	.326	.402
6	Diaz, Y - C	5	1	2	1	0	0	2	.278	.312	.403
7	Loperfido, J - LF	5	2	2	1	0	1	2	.321	.367	.357
8	Cabbage - LF	2	0	0	0	0	1	0	.200	.200	.300
	a-Meyers - CF	3	0	3	3	0	0	0	.267	.321	.480
9	Dubón - 2B	5	1	4	1	0	0	2	.303	.330	.416
	Totals	42	9	18	8	3	7	21

Astros
a-Singled for Cabbage in the 7th.
BATTING: 2B: Alvarez, Y (6, Lange); Loperfido, J (1, Lange). HR: Tucker (13, 6th inning off Flaherty, 1 on, 1 out). TB: Alvarez, Y 3; Bregman; Diaz, Y 2; Dubón 4; Loperfido, J 3; Meyers 3; Peña; Singleton 2; Tucker 4. RBI: Diaz, Y (18); Dubón (15); Loperfido, J (3); Meyers 3 (12); Tucker 2 (28). 2-out RBI: Dubón; Meyers 2. Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: Dubón; Peña 2; Alvarez, Y 2. GIDP: Bregman; Diaz, Y. Team RISP: 6-for-12. Team LOB: 9.

	Tigers Batters	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	K	LOB	AVG	OBP	SLG
1	Greene, R - DH	3	0	0	0	1	1	1	.248	.368	.497
2	Canha - LF	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	.236	.362	.441
	Vilade - LF	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	.222	.300	.222
3	Vierling - CF	3	0	0	0	0	1	3	.270	.292	.417
	Baddoo - CF	1	1	1	0	0	0	0	1.000	1.000	3.000
4	Carpenter, K - RF	4	1	1	0	0	2	0	.274	.331	.513
5	Ibáñez - 3B	4	0	1	0	0	2	1	.340	.340	.511
6	Keith, C - 2B	4	0	1	0	0	0	2	.177	.242	.204
7	Torkelson - 1B	4	1	1	2	0	2	1	.224	.294	.333
8	Báez, J - SS	4	0	1	0	0	0	0	.172	.208	.233
9	Kelly, C - C	2	0	0	0	2	2	1	.169	.269	.237
	Totals	32	3	6	2	3	10	10

Tigers
BATTING: 2B: Ibáñez (2, Verlander). 3B: Baddoo (1, Martinez, S). HR: Torkelson (1, 9th inning off Martinez, S, 1 on, 2 out). TB: Baddoo 3; Báez, J; Carpenter, K; Ibáñez 2; Keith, C; Torkelson 4. RBI: Torkelson 2 (14). 2-out RBI: Torkelson 2. Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: Torkelson; Vierling 2. Team RISP: 0-for-3. Team LOB: 6.
FIELDING: E: Canha (1, fielding). DP: 3 (Keith, C-Báez, J-Torkelson; Kelly, C-Báez, J; Báez, J-Keith, C-Torkelson).

Astros Pitchers	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR	P-S	ERA
Verlander (W, 2-1)	7.0	2	0	0	2	8	0	95-61	3.38
Martinez, S	2.0	4	3	3	1	2	1	52-38	2.86
Totals	9.0	6	3	3	3	10	1

Tigers Pitchers	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR	P-S	ERA
Flaherty (L, 0-3)	6.2	7	3	3	0	7	1	99-65	3.88
Wentz	0.0	3	1	1	1	0	0	12-8	1.23
Lange	0.2	5	4	4	2	0	0	27-15	3.07
Vest	1.2	3	1	1	0	0	0	31-20	4.24
Totals	9.0	18	9	9	3	7	1

Game Info
WP: Lange.
Balk: Martinez, S.
HBP: Canha (by Verlander).
Pitches-strikes: Verlander 95-61; Martinez, S 52-38; Flaherty 99-65; Wentz 12-8; Lange 27-15; Vest 31-20.
Groundouts-flyouts: Verlander 0-4; Martinez, S 2-0; Flaherty 6-1; Wentz 0-0; Lange 0-1; Vest 1-2.
Batters faced: Verlander 25; Martinez, S 11; Flaherty 24; Wentz 4; Lange 9; Vest 8.
Inherited runners-scored: Wentz 1-1; Lange 3-0; Vest 3-0.
Umpires: HP: Brian Walsh. 1B: Edwin Moscoso. 2B: Vic Carapazza. 3B: Adam Hamari.
Weather: 66 degrees, Sunny.
Wind: 4 mph, R To L.
First pitch: 1:41 PM.
T: 2:43.
Att: 27,004.
Venue: Comerica Park.
May 12, 2024

Inning	Scoring Play	Score
Top 6	Kyle Tucker homers (13) on a fly ball to right field. Mauricio Dubón scores.	2-0 HOU
Top 7	Jake Meyers singles on a line drive to left fielder Mark Canha. Alex Bregman scores. Joey Loperfido to 2nd.	3-0 HOU
Top 7	Mauricio Dubón singles on a ground ball to right fielder Kerry Carpenter. Joey Loperfido scores. Jake Meyers to 3rd. Mauricio Dubón to 2nd.	4-0 HOU
Top 8	Yainer Diaz singles on a ground ball to left fielder Mark Canha. Yordan Alvarez scores. Jon Singleton to 2nd.	5-0 HOU
Top 8	Joey Loperfido doubles (1) on a sharp line drive to right fielder Kerry Carpenter. Jon Singleton scores. Yainer Diaz to 3rd.	6-0 HOU
Top 8	Jake Meyers singles on a line drive to left fielder Mark Canha. Yainer Diaz scores. Joey Loperfido scores. Fielding error by left fielder Mark Canha.	8-0 HOU
Top 9	Jake Meyers singles on a ground ball to third baseman Andy Ibáñez. Jon Singleton scores. Joey Loperfido to 2nd.	9-0 HOU
Bottom 9	Kerry Carpenter singles on a line drive to center fielder Jake Meyers.	9-1 HOU
Bottom 9	Spencer Torkelson homers (1) on a fly ball to left field. Kerry Carpenter scores.	9-3 HOU

Team	Highlight
HOU	Kyle Tucker's two-run homer (13) (00:00:28)
HOU	Jake Meyers' RBI single (00:00:26)
DET	Jack Flaherty fans seven (00:02:33)
HOU	Joey Loperfido's RBI double (00:00:26)
HOU	Jake Meyers' 2nd RBI single (00:00:20)
HOU	Justin Verlander fans eight vs. Tigers (00:02:04)
HOU	Jake Meyers' 3rd RBI single (00:00:18)
HOU	Astros tally four runs in the 8th (00:00:58)
DET	Spencer Torkelson's two-run homer (1) (00:00:25)
HOU	Mauricio Dubón goes 4-for-5 vs. Tigers (00:01:41)

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9		R	H	E	LOB
Astros	0	0	0	0	0	2	2	4	1		9	18	0	9
Tigers	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	3		3	6	1	6

Decisions

• Winner: Justin Verlander (2-1, 3.38)
• Loser: Jack Flaherty (0-3, 3.88)

Division Scoreboard

MIN 5 @ TOR 1 - Final
CLE 7 @ CWS 0 - Final
KC 4 @ LAA 0 - Top 6, 0 Outs
Next Tigers Game: Mon, May 13, 06:40 PM EDT vs. Marlins (1 day)
^{Last Updated: 05/12/2024 05:26:34 PM EDT}

Line Score - Game Over

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	R	H	E	LOB
HOU	0	0	0	0	0	2	2	4	1	9	18	0	9
DET	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	3	3	6	1	6

Box Score

DET		AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	BA
DH	Greene, R	3	0	0	0	1	1	.248
LF	Canha	3	0	0	0	0	0	.236
LF	Vilade	0	0	0	0	0	0	.222
CF	Vierling	3	0	0	0	0	1	.270
CF	Baddoo	1	1	1	0	0	0	1.000
RF	Carpenter, K	4	1	1	0	0	2	.274
3B	Ibáñez	4	0	1	0	0	2	.340
2B	Keith, C	4	0	1	0	0	0	.177
1B	Torkelson	4	1	1	2	0	2	.224
SS	Báez, J	4	0	1	0	0	0	.172
C	Kelly, C	2	0	0	0	2	2	.169

DET	IP	H	R	ER	BB	SO	P-S	ERA
Flaherty	6.2	7	3	3	0	7	99-65	3.88
Wentz	0.0	3	1	1	1	0	12-8	1.23
Lange	0.2	5	4	4	2	0	27-15	3.07
Vest	1.2	3	1	1	0	0	31-20	4.24

HOU		AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	BA
RF	Tucker	3	1	1	2	2	2	.271
SS	Peña	5	0	1	0	0	0	.340
DH	Alvarez, Y	5	1	2	0	0	1	.256
3B	Bregman	5	1	1	0	0	1	.201
3B	Kessinger	0	0	0	0	0	0	.000
1B	Singleton	4	2	2	0	1	1	.232
C	Diaz, Y	5	1	2	1	0	0	.278
LF	Loperfido, J	5	2	2	1	0	1	.321
LF	Cabbage	2	0	0	0	0	1	.200
CF	Meyers	3	0	3	3	0	0	.267
2B	Dubón	5	1	4	1	0	0	.303

HOU	IP	H	R	ER	BB	SO	P-S	ERA
Verlander	7.0	2	0	0	2	8	95-61	3.38
Martinez, S	2.0	4	3	3	1	2	52-38	2.86

Scoring Plays

Inning	Event	Score
T6	Kyle Tucker homers (13) on a fly ball to right field. Mauricio Dubón scores.	0-2
T7	Jake Meyers singles on a line drive to left fielder Mark Canha. Alex Bregman scores. Joey Loperfido to 2nd.	0-3
T7	Mauricio Dubón singles on a ground ball to right fielder Kerry Carpenter. Joey Loperfido scores. Jake Meyers to 3rd. Mauricio Dubón to 2nd.	0-4
T8	Yainer Diaz singles on a ground ball to left fielder Mark Canha. Yordan Alvarez scores. Jon Singleton to 2nd.	0-5
T8	Joey Loperfido doubles (1) on a sharp line drive to right fielder Kerry Carpenter. Jon Singleton scores. Yainer Diaz to 3rd.	0-6
T8	Jake Meyers singles on a line drive to left fielder Mark Canha. Yainer Diaz scores. Joey Loperfido scores. Fielding error by left fielder Mark Canha.	0-8
T9	Jake Meyers singles on a ground ball to third baseman Andy Ibáñez. Jon Singleton scores. Joey Loperfido to 2nd.	0-9
B9	Kerry Carpenter singles on a line drive to center fielder Jake Meyers.	1-9
B9	Spencer Torkelson homers (1) on a fly ball to left field. Kerry Carpenter scores.	3-9

Highlights

Description	Length
Jack Flaherty against the Astros	0:09
Justin Verlander against the Tigers	0:09
Bench availability for Detroit, May 12 vs Astros	0:07
Bullpen availability for Detroit, May 12 vs Astros	0:07
Fielding alignment for Detroit, May 12 vs Astros	0:11
Bullpen availability for Houston, May 12 vs Tigers	0:07
Kyle Tucker: Home Run Statcast Analysis	0:13
Breaking down Jack Flaherty's pitches	0:04
Jack Flaherty's outing against the Astros	0:23
Justin Verlander's outing against the Tigers	0:22
Breaking down Justin Verlander's pitches	0:04
Jack Flaherty K's Kyle Tucker	0:06
Justin Verlander K's Riley Greene	0:06
Javier Báez's diving snag	0:26
Colt Keith's infield single	0:15
Kyle Tucker's two-run homer (13)	0:28
Justin Verlander escapes a jam	0:13
Jake Meyers' RBI single	0:26
Mauricio Dubón's RBI single	0:40
Jack Flaherty fans seven over 6 2/3 innings	2:33
Yainer Diaz's RBI single	0:13
Joey Loperfido's RBI double	0:26
Jake Meyers' two-run single	0:20
Andy Ibáñez's reaching grab	0:19
Justin Verlander fans eight vs. Tigers	2:04
Jake Meyers' 2nd RBI single	0:18
Astros tally four runs in the 8th	0:58
Spencer Torkelson's two-run homer (1)	0:38

Decisions

Winning Pitcher	Losing Pitcher	Save
Verlander (2-1, 3.38 ERA)	Flaherty (0-3, 3.88 ERA)

Game ended at 3:25 PM.

The alphabetized items below are from golf-drives.com. What are the other need-to-know slang terms that would arm someone for being a non-stop infinitely-annoying color commentator for a full round?
I’ll add a few to get things started:
Pure: A fairway shot which is flushed.
Flushed: A pured shot.
Nutted: Means pured or nuked.
Nuked: Flushed hard.
Nice: Classier way of saying nutted.
Solid: Nice.
Mashed Potato (or anything else yelled instantaneously after a tour player’s shot): I have severe mental issues, and I’m drunk.
Beaver tail: Massive divot.
Piss Missle: Slightly higher trajectory than a worm burner, but normally not hit with wedge.
Worm Burner: Ground contour hugging supersonic shot often struck with leading edge of pitching wedge.
A-Z Golf Slang and Terminology
A
“A” Game: A golfer’s best game which is executed on a regular basis.
Ace: Hitting the ball into the hole in one swing of the club.
Afraid of The Dark: When the putted ball refuses to fall into the hole.
Airmail: A golf shot which travels a considerably longer distance than planned.
Albatross (aka Double Eagle): This means a score of three strokes under Par, which as you can imagine is very rare.
All square: Tied score in match play.
Army Golf: Like a marching rhythm: Left-right-left, in the game of golf it means hitting the ball out of bounds to the left then to the right the next time.
B
Backhander: When you hit the ball casually with the back-side of the putter to “Hole” a very short putt.
Banana Ball: The ball travels in a ”banana-shaped” curve. A very sharp fade shot known as a “slice”.
Barkies: Hitting the golf ball at trees and obtaining a good score despite it.
Beach: Term used for a sand bunker.
Birdie: A score of one less than par.
Bite: If a ball has lots of backspin it is said to “bite” because it stays close to where it landed or may spin back toward the player. If a ball appears to be going past the hole a player may shout “pray” or a more humorous way can be to shout, “grow teeth!”.
Bogey: A score of one over par.
Bracket: To be prepared for a different situation where you need to hit a certain shot you will need to take additional clubs – one higher and one lower known as a Bracket.
Buzzard (aka Double Bogey): A score of two over par.
C
Cabbage (aka Spinach): If you hit the ball into inescapable thick rough.
Can: Refers to the “Cup” on the Green.
Carpet: Term which refers to the “Green”.
Casual water: A build-up of water on the golf course after heavy rain that is not part of a water hazard.
The player can move the ball without penalty.
Cat Box: A sand bunker.
Chicken Stick: If faced with a difficult shot, a golfer will choose a play-it-safe club that is within his capabilities to properly complete the shot.
Chili Dip (aka Fat/Chunk shot): Hitting the ground behind the ball before impact with the ball.
Chipping: Short shot usually made from just off the green.
Cuban: Putting action where the ball stops short of dropping into the cup.
Cup: The hole on the green – 4.5-inch diameter, 4-inch-deep.
D Dance floor: Refers to the green.
Dawn patrol: Golfers who play at sunrise.
Dew Sweepers: Reference to players in a Professional Tournament who have the earliest Tee times (when the dew is still on the course), in the third or fourth round of the tournament.
Dog Track (aka Goat track): When a golf course is in poor condition.
Dribbler (aka Fat Shot): When a shot that only goes forward a few feet.
Duck Hook (aka Snap Hook): A ball that curves right to left on a low trajectory and off target.
Duffer (aka Hacker): An “inexperienced” or mediocre golfer.
Deep: A hole/flagstick that is located on the back of the green.
Divot: The small chunk of turf that is dislodged when a club head strikes the ground as a player hits the ball.
Drained: Slang term for having sunk a putt.
Draw: A golf shot (for a right-handed golfer) where the ball slowly moves right to left.
Drive: The first shot taken at the teeing ground at each hole.
Driver: The longest club with the biggest head, used for tee shots as it’s designed to hit the ball the farthest.
Duff: A bad shot.
E
Eagle: A score of two under par.
Executive course: A golf course that is shorter and has a lower par than regular golf courses suitable for beginner golfers and juniors. F Fade (aka Cut Shot): A golf shot (right handed golfer) in which the ball gradually moves left to right. Fairway: The centre, short-mown portion of a golf hole in between the teeing ground and the green. First tee: Where a round of golf play begins. Flyer: Hit from the rough, a ball which goes a lot further than envisioned. Fly the green: A shot that goes over the green. Fore: Shouted when the ball is heading towards someone. Forward tees: The teeing ground located closest to the green. Flop shot: A golf shot which is hit quite high and short, which upon contact with the Green, rolls very little and stops. The ball is “Flopped” onto the putting surface. Flub: A terrible shot which causes a loss in scoring. Foot Wedge: Where the golfer uses his “foot” to push the ball into a better position. Four-jack: On any given Green taking four putts to get the ball in the hole. Fried Egg (aka Plugged): Where only the top half of the ball is visible when buried in a Sandtrap. Frog Hair: Closely mown grass surrounding the Green. G Gimme: A shot so close that only a short putt is needed, and the other players agree can count automatically without being played. Get up: An expression shouted at a ball that looks like it’s going to land short of the target. Grounding: Setting the heel of the golf club on the ground. H Handicap: A numerical representation of a golfer’s playing ability. Honours: The right to tee off first based on having the best score on the last hole or being furthest away from the hole. Hook: When a right-handed player strikes the ball such that it curves sharply from right to left. Hot: A shot that goes faster than intended. Hacker: An “inexperienced” or mediocre golfer. Hand Wedge: Where the golfer uses his “hand” to nudge the ball into a better lie. I Iffy lie: A ball that is in an unfortunate lie and dubious whether the ball can be struck well for a good golf shot. In the Leather: A putted ball close enough to the hole to be accepted by the other players. J Juicy lie: Offers a nice clean hit. A juicy lie indicates the ball is sitting on top of grass as if it is mounted on a short Tee. Jungle: A ball hit into the deepest and rough area on the golf course. K Kick: A golfer who asks for a good kick is hoping for the ball to bounce in a good position. Knee-knocker: A nervous reaction when a golfer has a short putt (3 to 4 feet) remaining for the next Putt. L Lay up: When trying to reach the Green could be a risky shot and it is a lot safer to hit a drive or fairway shot short of the Green. Lip out: You have “lipped out” when your ball hits the lip but doesn’t go in the hole. Loop: Refers to one 18-Hole circuit around the Golf Course. Lumberjack: When a golfer hits a ball into a wooded area numerous times during a round and continues to hit the trees trying to get out of the woods. Lie: While in play the Lie is the position/location of the golf ball. Loft: The degree/angle of the face of the club. M Mickey Mouse course: Refers to a course with many short holes and bad maintenance. Mulligan: Referring to a second shot from the Tee, after a bad first shot. Match play: A golf format where the goal is to win individual holes rather than tallying the total of all the strokes. Modified scramble (aka Shamble/ Texas Scramble): Tournament format where golfers select the best shot off the tee, move all balls to that spot, and play individual stroke play for the rest of the hole. N Nineteenth (19th) hole: The Clubhouse Bar. Nip it: A Clean hit which tends to lessen the amount of backspin. Nuked: When you gain a greater distance than your average or typical distance. O Out of Bounds (OB): The area of the course is often marked by white stakes which should be avoided where play is not allowed. P Pin (aka The Stick): The flagstick on the green standing inside the cup. Playing through: When a group of golfers pass by another group of slower playing golfers. Provisional ball: A second ball that is played if the first ball is or may be lost or out of bounds. Putting: The golf stroke used to roll the ball on the green. Q Quick: Rushing your swing or trying to hit too hard. R Rainmaker: A golf shot with a very high trajectory. Ready golf: To speed up or maintain the pace of play players will hit when ready. Rough: The long grass bordering the fairway. S Scratch: A golfer with Zero handicap. Snowman: Reference to scoring an 8 on a hole. Skull: A stroke made above the equator of the ball which is mis-hit, resulting in a line-drive trajectory. Sticks: The plural “sticks” means golf clubs not to be confused with flagstick. Stroke play: A golf format in which the objective is to finish the game using the fewest total shots. T Tap in: A short, easy to make Putt. Tester: Tends to test a golfer. It is where a Putt is too far away for a “Gimmie”, but short enough a good putting golfer can hole it. The Tips (aka Championship Tees/Back Tees): The farthest teeing ground from the green, usually defined by blue, black or gold tee markers. Thin (aka Skinny): A shot strike near the centre of the ball, characteristically causing a low flight. The turn: The halfway point in a round of golf. U Up and down: Only taking two strokes to get the golf ball into the hole when your ball is resting around the green. U-turn: A Putt that rolls almost all the way around the edge of the “Cup” before actually coming out and around without falling in. V Valleys: Relatively flat areas with sharp undulations between mounds on a green. Victory lap: The circle a Putt makes around the rim of the Cup before going in. Velcro: Is the speed of the Putting Green on a golf course. W Worm burner: A golf shot (not a putt) in which the ball never gets but a few feet off the ground. Watery Grave: A final resting place for your “Miss-Hit” shot over a water hazard. Whiff: A poor golf swing with a complete miss of the ball. Y Yips: Due to nervousness and lack of a smooth putting stroke, Yips is the inability to make short putts. Yank: When a Putt is pulled sharply to the left. Z Zone: You’re said to be “in the zone” if you are playing well.