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May 15, 2019. That's the day I bought Stardew Valley for my android phone. It has been so impactful to me, that I have a yearly calendar reminder of the anniversary of when I bought it.
I married a gamer over 25+ years ago. We could play some games together and I could occasionally win (Mario Cart, Hydro Thunder) but usually lose (Golden Eye). I grew up playing Civilization but couldn't figure out Zork or Haunted Mansion. When I got married, I love watching my husband play video games on the tv as I read a book.
But one day... one day I decided I wanted to try a game I had read about on Reddit. They said it was relaxing and calming and with a teen, I needed that in my life. Checking my phone, I saw they had a mobile version, so I bought it and learned that Reddit lies. It was not relaxing or calming in any way - I needed to plant the crops so I could make money to hopefully buy that stupid red cabbage at the Traveling Cart! I needed a better sword so I could kill the dust sprites so I could get coal to make iron bars to upgrade my axe so I could get into the secret woods to get a fiddlehead fern before the season ended - it was not calming! But it was addicting!
I loved it so much, I have bought it on several platforms - through Amazon for my kindle fire because the screen was bigger than my cell phone, on google for my chromebook (which I bought ONLY to play the game secretly at work), on PC so I could play it the way it originally was made, and lastly on apple so I could play on my new iphone. I just don't have the Switch version and I did seriously consider buying a switch just to play it there, but realized maybe I was going a bit crazy.
Stardew led me to playing other games I couldn't before - Valheim when it first came out was amazing to me and I played with my hubby and loved it! I have expanded my video game knowledge and can now play multiplayer games with family and friends, drawing us closer together.
But Stardew taught me the basics of video games so I could expand my ability. And it showed me that even in video games, there can be kindness (Penny helping George) and teaching moments (Shane going to therapy).
And so ConcernedApe....Eric, thank you!

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Hey Everyone,
So I've been working as a full stack C# .NET developer for about a decade now. Learning a new front-end framework called React at the moment to expand my skillset. Basically, I create databases, program computer services, build apps, and support them. I've worked at every level in the "software development lifecycle".
All of my 10 years of experience are with really small companies. Nine years was spent at a independent software vendor with government contracts. I loved what I did for many years, until the company was purchased and moved to another state. At our largest we were ~8 people with 3-4 devs, and I was the most senior dev at that time as well.
I'm now working as an independent contractor for another small company, but in the construction services sector. I was brought in to save a failing series of projects with a team that was burnt out, and frankly, abused by their previous programming manager. Despite my best efforts, our most promising junior dev was already planning to leave, and then my employer saw fit to fire the remaining 3 developers, leaving just me after a few months.
It's been about 3 months of solo work now, and I'm exhausted with no one to work with. I'm now doing my best to find a job at a larger company. I want to work somewhere where I actually have a team- whether I'm just a programmer, or a project lead/manager, I do best when I have people to collaborate and communicate with. Frankly, the solo independent contractor life isn't for me and never will be.
After feeling like I nailed a number of interviews but still didn't get any offers, I'm at a bit of a loss on where to go next. I'm still regularly applying to jobs and working with recruiters, setting up interviews, etc. but losing faith.
I'm open to remote work, hybrid, and on-site. I'm an extrovert and really prefer getting to know people in-person, at least a little bit. I also live in an incredibly good area for jobs (DC/MD/VA area), but so much of it is "clearance required" work, which I do not have (but could obtain). A lot of it is also more true engineering work, not full stack web dev which is less scientific. Because I lack serious experience with engineering languages like C, C++, Java, etc. I feel like my skillset is just not lining up with most of the opportunities I'm pursuing.
I'm now considering a few options, and want to know what you guys think:

1. Go back to school and take CS classes, maybe even get a second bachelor's. My degree is Information Systems with a focus in application development and database management, not Computer Science. I actually started out as an Electrical Engineering major, but dislike working with complex hardware/circuitry. Would taking classes in C++, Java, algorithms, systems engineering, etc. help me land the more "software engineering" related positions in my area, or would it just be a waste of money?
   
2. Work on certifications and take project management courses. I've always felt I will go the management route one day. I tend to end up mentoring others, providing guidance and speaking up for my team, etc. during projects, and like the idea of facilitating communication and collaboration for engineering teams. My concern here is: I haven't worked for very large companies, so I worry I won't understand there processes from the get-go. My largest team was only 4-5 developers and I loved it, but I know some larger companies have teams of 10-15.
   
3. Go back to school and get a Master's degree in higher education. It's always been a dream of mine to work in the industry, do cool technical things and make decent money for a while, BUT then go work in education, probably at the high school or university level. My "ten year plan" (I'm 32) was to do this in my mid-40's, but this recent stagnation has me wondering if I should just go for it and accept that I won't be making six figures again for quite a while.
   

What do y'all think? Appreciate any thoughts, insight, or mentoring.

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I had a rich boss once - that was only rich because of the wealth from his (Grand)Parents. Guy was a complete and utter moron. He made nonsensical financial decisions and burned through hundreds of thousands of Dollars in completely avoidable mistakes. But because he had money from his ancestors he just shrugged of these losses and continued.
He had also only but the faintest idea about his company or how to lead or keep employees. I was bascially keeping the company together. As such I was the Nay-sayer that blocked 90% of his stupid plans and decisions. Due to my "negativity" I was fired.
The guy was also arrogant as hell because he had a Masters and PhD in economics. I though "no way in hell can this guy have a Masters/PhD hes so damn stupid". So I searched for his Masters and PhD thesis - went to the University library - and what a surprise on the second page I examined I found a text passage without citation. After like 40 minutes I found another 10 passages he copied without citation. I spent only some 20 Minutes examining his PhD thesis and found already 2 cases.
I made pictures of the text passages he copied and the books from where he took them and wrote an anonymus Email to the University. A year later he lost both his Masters and PhD because of his plagiarism. I know this from people that still work with him because he exploded - the university just thanked me but told me they cant provide further info due to data protection.
So either he had a ghost writer write it for him who didnt care - or he just copied and thought he would never be cought. He wrote both in the 80s.
Chances are many Masters and PhD theses from these times are plagiarised because there were less possibilities to check. After all imagine its 1985 and you are at the University of Chicago and during a trip to Miami you visit the library and write of a thesis there. If you change the title, there is almost a 0 chance that you will ever be caught.
So if you have stupid bosses/people around you with a degree that are older and did you wrong - it might be worth your time to check their thesis

I have a question about the normal business practice for an architect. We are opening a franchise business. The franchise drafted the layout but the plans had to be stamped by a local architect. We used a reputable, well known firm. Our permit got hung up with the city and through the grapevine it seems some of it could be avoided. The architect never came out to look at the site. There were some existing walls and we were keeping the plumbing in place to save money. The plans had all of the walls, including the existing walls, as new build. That had to be changed and cost money. The plumbing was located too far from the wall so the bathroom had to be shifted 3 inches, which was a change and cost extra money. The storage room, used to store merchandise (clothing) triggered something with the fire marshal and that room has to have fire rated drywall and ceiling and a 90-minute fire rated door. The grapevine said if the room had been labeled differently none of that would be necessary. I don’t even want to talk about the extra cost. And the 6.5 weeks we had to wait because “storage” is supposedly a trigger word. Before I go apoplectic on the architect, is this a case of shit happens or should this have been caught?

Disclaimer:This was made in the span of 3 days. I would have posted here daily if I had remembered that this subReddit exists.
Part 1(Monday):
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Her reflective skin was like gold waiting to be rubbed and loved. Her luminous eyes were like marbles designed for gazers. Her hair was like a sari, but as soft as silk, waiting to infatuate onlookers who fall in its honey-sweet trap. An example of the above is me.
2 years later, this infatuation still encrusted me. I was in Class XI, and we were studying to obtain Indian Secondary Certificate. Although it is exacting on us, we still have the time to appreciate our boons. I did so via writing a love letter, and presenting it to her. Today, I found out that I had left it at home, despite fatiguing on it. I was devastated. However, I replicated it while pooping on the toilet at the double.
I gave it to my crush, and then, due to being overwrought, ran away from her, hyperventilating, laughing, and crying at the same time. Unfortunately, she just said thanks to me at reccess. I was devastated. However, when I went home, I was taken out of the frying pan into the fire. My mother had discovered the original love letter.
She told me that she found it in my bag, and that we were going to read it together. I was in the most calamitous set of circumstances I had been in my entire life. Fortunately, her phone started ringing in the adjacent room, leading her to retrieve it and communicate to the other person. I darted towards the paper and vehemently did the needful. However, I froze in trepidation when I heard the voice of my crush's father's at the other end of the landline. However, since he works in a scam-centre, he just wanted to scam my mother.
When she finished rebuking him, she came back to the drawing room, where she had reserved my love letter. When pursuing it and interrogating me about its whereabouts, she was replied to via bewildered faces and expressions with a lack of fear. However, she grew tired of pursuing its whereabouts, and therefore, left the room. However, I believe that she has seen it, as they uncrumpled it and left it neatly folded on our bookshelf, which fills me with terror.
Part 2(Tuesday):
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Her reflective skin was like gold waiting to be rubbed and loved. Her luminous eyes were like marbles designed for gazers. Her hair was like a sari, but as soft as silk, waiting to infatuate onlookers who fall in its honey-sweet trap. An example of the above is me.
I decided to test my valour via generating and sending a love letter to her. Unfortunately, at the time, she just said 'Thanks', which had left me devastated. Moreso, I had to duplicate my letter while pooping out biryani I ate on Sunday, in the highschool toilet, since my mother had stolen my original letter. I thought I did the needful to destroy it. Unfortunately, it was all in vain, which caused my letter to be found by my father.
My father was about to beat me with his belt, which was the worst thing that could happen to a 16 year old Indian teenager. However, fortunately, somebody in uaeteenagers gave me advice, which I used. I dissembled my stories and weaved a lie that states that my friend dared me to give my crush a love letter, and that I was not in love with her, which persuaded my father that I was not in need of a thrasing.
I was relieved, and to make my amygdala, my insula, my insular cortex, and my periaqueductal gray even more elated, she had put a love letter in my bag that apologised for her lacklustre response towards me. She has requested a date that will be taking place tomorrow, and since my parents will be out, of the house, I saw eye to eye with her metaphorically, to ensure that we could literally see eye to eye with each other tomorrow.
I am currently, very elated by this, and am thrilled by a new experience that I will be experiencing. Until now, the only acquaintance with dates I had seen so far were in Hollywood pictures, which cater to a western audience, and therefore, until now, have led me to believe that us Indians cannot get dates due to our conservative nature. However, I was proven wrong, and will extract the moral of the impossible being possible from this memorable episode.
Part 3(Wednesday):
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Therefore, I valiantly and strenuously, produced a love letter and delivered it to my crush. She was elated by this, and made me elated as well, via inviting me on a date with her. I contentedly to do so, not knowing the consequences of the tragic decision I made.
Today, at 18:00, which is half an hour after I reach my house, I get prepared to go on the date and dazzle her, leaving my house abandoned. To my ginormous shock, she had apparently booked a taxi for me. I live in Dubai. My house was in Al Furjan, while our date was in Motor City, which resulted in a mere half-an-hour journey As I diffidently walked up to the restaurant, I was greeted with a ghastly sight.
She had arrived, but not alone. Her entire family was with her, from her parents, to her elder brother, to her extended family, including her grandparents, uncles, and aunties. They began bombarding me with questions such as my grades in different subjects. However, I had a notable concern:As with most Indian parents, her parents were averse to love, and believed in arranged marriages, similar to mine. There was only one way out, and it was of an execrable nature.
With a heavy heart, I began to rip the most stentorian, malodorous and most fervent fart I had released in my entire life. It had now reverberated towards the now tumultuous room. Amidst all the pandemonium, I escaped from there, and with the permission of a stranger, took another taxi back to my house in Al Furjan, where I would be unscarred from the danger of both my parents' potential revelation, and the disapprobation of the family of my crush.
I am now typing this amidst a stream of tears and a heavy heart. However, I have now learnt sacrifice, and that bitter truth that life would be blemished in one way or another, for example, in this case, either via the revelation of my parents, the disapprobation of the family of my crush, and sacrificing my potential wife. However, this is something that can neither be concealed in y hippocampus, nor my amygdala, which results in me sharing this.
(Please speak in English. I don't know Hindi.)

I’m so glad I found this, I really need to just , well, vent. Lol. A week ago I lost my job of 5 years. It really sucked because it was over false allegations . I had never gotten a single write up during my time there. I loved my job so much and was making good money. What hurts the worst is one of my coworkers was also my best friend and she hasn’t spoken to me since. I’m 95% sure she had something to do with me getting fired. She’s been dodging my phone calls. This also couldn’t have come at a worse time because my husband has been battling cancer (we first found out right before thanksgiving last year) and right before I was fired I had been on leave for 2 weeks to be with him while he was in the hospital battling an E. coli infection. We also learned during that time that his cancer has spread. And this coworkebest friend is the person who offered to keep my daughter while I was at the hospital with my husband. I’m just feeling so much hurt, betrayal, anger, sadness, all of it. I just feel like everything is so messed up right now and I hate the thought of having to start over.

Tl;Dr: I'm at risk of losing my new job (less than a month old) because of what is written on the additional sheet (Zusatzblatt) of my work permit. My employer who is based outside Germany is being advised by a company within Germany who handles the payroll.
Long version: I am non-Eu citizen who has a work permit that was issued last year. The work permit is valid until 2027. The work permit consists of an additional sheet (Zusatzblatt) which states the followong:
"Nebenbestimmungen:Beschäftigung nicht erlaubt mit ausnahmeder tätigkeit als lehrer im bereich Computer science bei wkl 85 * Stark Industries GmbH (name changed). Selbstständige tätigkeit erlaubt. Nach 2 jähr. Versicherungspflicht Beschäftig. Ist Beschäftigung Jeder art erlaubt"
According to DeepL.com, it translates to "Ancillary provisions: Employment not permitted with the exception of work as a teacher in the field of Computer science at wkl 85 * Stark Industries GmbH (name changed). Self-employment permitted. After 2 years of compulsory insurance employment. Employment of any kind is permitted"
As per the agent in auslanderbehorder who issued my work permit, I only have to update my Zusatzblatt when I get a new job.
I lost my job in December and I registered as unemployed from January. I found a job end of March and I signed a contract. I informed the Bundesagentur für Arbeit and I even got a call from the agent to confirm if the job is secured. I confirmed that I signed the contract over the phone. A few days later they took me off unemployment.
When I changed my employer, I have to update the Zusatzblatt with the new employer name. For this no appointments are available. I tried booking for an appointment through Berlin Service Portal.
Since no appointments are available. I have to contact them using a contact sheet and inform them I want an appointment. In the contact sheet I have to choose "Change of employer" from a drop down list as a reason for me contacting them.
I got confirmation of me contacting them after I hit send and the following message was shown: "Wenn Sie in Ihrer E-Mail die Verlängerung der Gültigkeit Ihres befristeten Aufenthaltstitels(Aufenthaltserlaubnis, Blaue Karte -EU oder D-Visum für einen längerfristigen Aufenthalt)beantragt haben, gilt hiermit Ihr Aufenthalt im Bundesgebiet (mitsamt denNebenbestimmungen Ihres jetzigen Aufenthaltstitels) bis zur Vorsprache im LEA alsrechtmäßig. Das bedeutet, Sie können weiter im bisherigen Umfang arbeiten oder studieren"
Which translates to: "If you have applied for an extension of the validity of your temporary residence permit (residence permit, EU Blue Card or D visa for a longer-term stay) in your e-mail, your stay in the federal territory (including the ancillary provisions of your current residence permit) is hereby deemed to be legal until you appear at the LEA, which means that you can continue to work or study to the same extent as before" translated using DeepL.com
The new company, Cyberdyne Systems (name changed) is based outside and they use an external company, DullSolutions gmbh (name changed) based out of Germany to handle payroll.
After one week of starting the job, I receive word from my employer that they cannot process my payroll due to issues with my work permit. After a few back and forth to understand where the problem is, my employer informs me that DullSolutions advised Cyberdyne Systems that they MUST not hire me because it says "Nebenbestimmungen:Beschäftigung nicht erlaubt mit ausnahmeder tätigkeit als lehrer im bereich Computer science bei wkl 85 * Stark Industries GmbH (name changed)."
I informed my employer that I did everything by the book and have sent lengthy emails stating official sources and proof of contact with the auslanderbehorder.
It got to a point where they cc'd the person from DullSolutions gmbh who is advising them in one of the emails.
I asked him what the issue was. He states the following:
"The problem is that your current work permit (according to the Zusatzblatt) only allows an employed professional activity at Stark Industries GmbH.
If you want to change your employer during the first two years of your employment stay in Germany, you have to apply for a change of the Zusatzblatt, this is what we told Cyberdyne Systems.
Cyberdyne Systems must not employ you as an employee before this change – to Cyberdyne Systems as new employer – will be granted. You are still during the first two years because your current permit has only been granted in July 2023.
A self-employed activity is allowed irrespective of this fact. Therefore, it was our suggestion, that you start as a self-employed person, and in the meantime file your application to change your employer with the Auslaenderbehoerde. Once this has been granted, it will be possible to employ you as regular employee."
I don't know what the credentials of this person is or whether the company he works for is familiar with the law, I'm inclined to think they are not familiar with labour laws or immigration laws. I really did only think they handle the payroll and not much else. But for some reason my employer is taking his advice very seriously.
They have informed me that they cannot continue to work with me on the contract we signed and that they would be open to working with me as a freelancer because it says "Selbstständige tätigkeit erlaubt" in my Zusatzblatt.
However I cannot work as a freelancer because I would have to switch to a freelance visa which is a major change to my overall goals for being in Germany, and plus I would have to apply for a freelance visa which would mean I have the same issues with getting appointments.
I asked DullSolutions the following: "Question is, Are you being advised by an immigration/employment lawyer or is the zusatzblatt being taken in it's literal translation?
I can forward your email to my agent at the Federal Employment agency to take their advice but because I do not want to contact any federal agency unnecessarily it would be best to know whether you would change your position on the matter if they said this "Cyberdyne Systems must not employ you as an employee before this change – to Cyberdyne Systems as new employer – will be granted" is not correct? And would you subsequently change your advise/suggestion to Cyberdyne Systems in regards to my employment contract with them?"
His reply is: "You should contact the unemployment agency for this question. If they confirm that you can work, it is fine!"
I started my new role on April 3rd and on April 12th I left for a holiday that was preplanned from before I lost my first job. I am scheduled to be back to work on the 29th of April. But that was before DullSolutions advising Cyberdyne Systems that they MUST not hire me because of what's written in my Zusatzblatt.
I've contacted auslanderbehorder, the agent who processed my unemployment at the Bundesagentur für Arbeit, and a few other contacts I got from people who happen to have emails of agents at the auslanderbehorder. I have yet to receive any answer.
Can anyone help me on this? I don't know what to do. I cannot hire a lawyer because I do not have the money for it. I feel like I'm at risk of losing my job because all of this is complicated for them to handle. I feel like my livelihood is at risk because of the the opinion of a man who doesn't know labour laws when it comes to hiring non-Eu citizens.
Sorry for the long post, I'm just lost. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you to Space paladin for the canvas and u/Acceptable_Egg5560 for proofreading and critique
Content warning; Educator abuse and syrupy love
[First]-[Prev]-[Next]
Memory transcript: Maarchal , MESEA Astronomers. Date: [Standard Farsul calendar ] January 26th, 3667
PLUNCK
Ponthyts blue stick clattered on the board, rolling around in a circle. Before settling on three. He then pumps his paw and moves to move a soldier that many paces.
“Well, I got you cornered now, whatcha going to do about it?” I smirk at Ponthyts soon to be dashed confidence as I take out my red stick and flip in the air much higher than he did with his own.
It hits the board with a loud clatter, bouncing on each end before settling on rolling. To which it landed on seven. I move my last interceptor through his ranks and take his general. The gobsmacked look on his features was evident, with his previously wagging tail so still it made stone seem fluid.
“I win.”
“How did you do that?”
I rolled my shoulders and readjusted my legs underneath. “Well, you left a clear path for my interceptor.” I pointed to the gaps in his remaining pieces.
“I know that! I mean how did you know you'd get a high enough number to do that? Your interceptor was all the way back here and it's your last red piece!!!”
I lean my head back and lean against the wall behind me. “I didn't, I just saw an opportunity and took it.”
He pointed a digit at me “ Mershit, that was some grandmaster trap!”
I give him the ear position of resignation with a mirthful little grin. “I promise you it was just luck.”
He waves his paw dismissively. “I don't believe you.”
“Well believe it, because I don't plan ahead like that. Want to play another game?”
He shakes his head. “Nah I think four games is enough for one night.” He begins moving the pieces into their containers and folds up the board and places it on top of them. Closing the box. He then stands up and offers me his paw, I use it to pull myself up off the floor.“Well Maarchal, I’ll see you tomorrow at the observatory. I’ll bring the set if you want to play it during lunch if you want.”
I froze, “what! What time is it? He turns over to look at the clock above his strove.
“Ahh about Fifteen minutes past 18.”
“Uh, that's not that late! We could play another game! C’mon let's have a tie breaker!”
He rubs his eyes, “I’m tired and we have work in the morning. Is there something you're avoiding?”
I rub my upper right arm and look off into the corner. “...”
He took on a worried look, “Why don't you want to go home Maarchal?”
I sighed and took a seat at his dining room table. “I… I don't like that house, I’ve lived there since I moved to LIghra six years ago but it's not a… home like here.”
I looked around at the messy abode. Dirty cloaks were strewn about on the back of chairs and the rubbish trough was just barely not overflowing. Paintings either from family or Ponthyts own paw were hanged up in the hallways, and the lightbulbs cast a warm orangish light. While the dishes from our dinner were placed in the sink, covered with animal gravy slathered all over them. It was tidy yet just barely so. A place filled with all the markers of being lived in.
“You've lived here less than a year but it feels like it's always had you in it. I feel … so comfortable here. My own home is so… cold and sterile. I Worked a lot the first few months I moved here. I just never got around to making it a home. It feels so bare, I started to work overtime just to avoid it. Which just made the problem worse.”
He sat down across from me, He put his head in his paws and looked at the scratched wood of his table. He held that position for a minute or two before breaking it and placing his paw on my own. “Maarchal, you are my best friend, I want you to feel comfortable. So if you want you can sleep on my coach, I can also help you make your home feel like one."
​
I shake my head, “no no, I shouldnt of imposed on you. Making myself feel at home is a job I need to do and have been avoiding for far too long. It's just… it's just so much easier to avoid you know?” I grabbed his paw and squeezed it. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
​
I stand up and make my way to his front door before he speaks up.
​
“Uh hey Maarchal?”
​
I turn to address him “yeah?”
​
He shifts in his seat and fidgets with his fingers. “I’m uh, going to Ootra lake next week. I was wondering If you'd like… to come with me? I promise if you don't have a tent I’ll bring you one. We could have a fire, roast some meat on it and share ghost stories and stargaze… if you want?”
​
“ What about work?”
​
He rocks in his chair. “We'd have to call in for a day or so.”
​
I contemplated his words and mulled them over. It would be the first time I’ve ever willingly taken off a day, tarnishing my perfect attendance. But the prospect of spending more one on one time with Ponthyt was overwhelmingly tempting.
​
“Sure, I’d love to go. But I haven't gone camping for years so you will need to bring me a tent.”
​
He leapt from his chair, launching it backwards, before calming himself down. “I’ll take care of all the prep. You just have to come along. I promise it’ll be loads of fun!”
​
I chuckled while I watched his clearly restrained display as I slowly closed the door.
​
I could hear him howl with enjoyment as I turned into the driveway to get to my auto.
​
**\*
​
“Huff, Huff, you doin alright there Ponthyt?” I turned back to see him walking behind me.
​
“Yeah, oof I haven't walked this much in years!”
​
I waited for him to catch up, we sat together when he did and we caught our breath before tuning to make our way back up the bluff. When we reached it there was a stone gazebo made of limestone. The angle of the sun let it shine into it. We walked into it and sat down on the stone benches. I looked around at the lake.
​
It was surrounded by steep hills with many rock faces visible, the layered stone was clearly visible. The topography of the area around the bluffs was shaped like a bowl, with the sight of land of higher elevation faintly visible in the distance despite its gradual slope. Giving a scene of depth that was not as extreme then in more mountainous areas. This view was normally hidden by the trees below.
​
“Well isn't this view alone worth the trip?” Ponthyt proclaimed.
​
I looked around letting the mid morning sun warm my back, I stretched my arms and breathed deeply. Taking in all the wonderful scents of nature.
​
“Yeah, it's beautiful.” I let myself relax, just letting the sounds and scents of nature calm me like I have never been since I was a pup on an archeological trip with mom and dad.
​
“Hmm, I've missed this.”
​
I don't know for how long I had been like this, but Ponthyt broke the silence “Ahhem, so, you've gone camping before?”
​
I nodded, “yeah when I was a pup my parents would sometimes go off to a site for a couple of weeks and we would come with them. We would have to get homeschooled then. But we would always have to camp and I and my siblings would go off exploring while they worked during the day.”
​
He smiled and his tail was wagging.” That sounds wonderful. I only got to camp for a couple days a year. It was always so hectic. Me and my siblings would just muck around the camp and eat, sometimes hiking around. Heh” Ponthyt looked towards the ground and held his paws together, rubbing his digits together.
​
“What's wrong Ponthyt?”
​
“Oh it's nothing it's-” I put my paw on his shoulder which drew his attention towards me.
​
“I know that's not true, you can trust me. Just tell me what's wrong ok?”
​
He gave a look of reluctance before caving to my request “… sigh… I grew up in a big family, and I love them all but… I was born at a strange time. I was second to last of my parents pups. Which meant they were busy with the older ones' events and taking care of the youngest. I kind of got mixed up and forgotten. My interests rarely lined up with the others and I often messed up tasks that my sibling would just fix or do for me. It got to the point that I… didn't really do anything. They will never say this but… I don't think my parents ever expected anything of me.”
​
I rub his shoulder,” well… I know that you have amounted to something. I mean, you're an astronomer! You work to understand the nature of reality. You're also so… kind and patient. I tried to scare you off but you weren't deterred at my standoffish behavior.”
​
He turned his head and gave me a shallow but joyous expression. “Heh well living in a house that's rarely quiet leaves you with a high tolerance for stubbornness. '' he wipes away a single tear “Sniff well… should we make our way back to camp? Or can I take out my stuff?”
​
I shake my head. ”Nah, you can paint. I’ll just sit here and let this place wash over me.”
​
He smiles and gets up and sets up his easel, taking out his supplies from his bag and gets to work painting the landscape ahead of him. He was slow and each brushstroke was as deliberate as he could manage. He… wasn't very good, only starting out when he moved here. But his drive to get better was admirable. Even in adulthood he tried to learn, to grow, to become more than he was yesterday.
​
I kept staring at him. Feeling something warm in my gut, something an academic wasn't supposed to feel. Shame overwhelmed me and I quickly turned away. Cursing myself for having those accursed feelings.
​
​
**\*
​
Ponthyt, returned from his cauto (Cargo auto -> pickup truck) with an armful of wood he brought with us. He set most of it aside and threw a piece onto the fire he had started, causing a cascade of embers to fly into the late evening air. The dull purple of the sky cast overhead between the canopy of the trees as the chill of the night began to come in. A pleasant coolness that most would take advantage of to seek the comfort of warming oneself close to a fire.
​
Not me, I paced to a fro as Ponthyt set up our campsite. He had placed his painting for the day inside the cabin of his cautoa and was now seasoning some raw meat strips to cook on the open fire. Snacking on one or two as he did so. He hung them on the tripod to roast, the fat that dripped off them as they were cooking sizzled as they burned on the coals below.
​
“I’ll have these done as soon as I can, please sit down Maarchal. Walking like that is only going to make the wait worse.” He says as he prods the suspended meat with a claw like utensil.
​
“Hmm, ok I’ll just sit and wait. Waste my time. Make a waste of the whole evening!!!” I snapped back at him, throwing my paws into the air.
​
Ponthyt recoils from my outburst with his ears pinned back. “ We’re camping, there is no way to waste it.”
​
I turned to address him, “we shouldn't be here! This trip means nothing and we are just wasting our TIME!!!” I cross my arms and scratch at the biceps. Rufflying the fur and making a mess of myself.
​
Ponthyt drops his utensil and walks over to me. “ We’re together and we spent the whole day just mucking about. How is this any more of a waste than that?” He says as he looks at me with eyes full of worry.
​
“We’re scientists, academics!!! We don't waste time like the ignorant masses! We should spend our time wisely!!! Every action of connection is just another moment we waste that could be spent to advance our field.” I had tears forming in the corners of my eyes. Scratching at my fur until I felt a wetness on my arms and paws.
​
“We’re supposed to sharpen our minds! No-not seek pointless relationships! ” I said as I bared my teeth and began growling at him.
​
The look of betrayal and abject worry he had on his face was overwhelming. I didn't want to hurt him. What am I doing? He doesn't deserve my ire. My legs gave out and I cried into my hands.
​
Ponthyt walked over to his cauto and brought out a cover. He wrapped it around me and rubbed my arms through it. He rested his head on top of mine while I sobbed. I couldn't take this anymore. Repressing and lashing out at any attempt to connect. Ponthyt hugged me and rocked back and forth. Humming and rubbing on the cover. He was warm and soft. I don't know how long we had been like this but by the time my sobs turned to a faint whine the meat over the fire was well done and the sky was pure black and the stars were out.
​
“I-I think i’m good no-now.” I choked out. Ponthyt grabbed my hand and helped me stand up. We didn't say another word. He collects the meat and places it on two plates. I stare at my portion for some time, Ponthyt doesn't eat any of his either.
​
“Sigh… I know you might not want to but… Could you tell me why you said those things earlier?” He says with trepidation clearly miring his words.
​
“Yeah, it's just… When I entered college It was… not what I was expecting… I was sort of a hyper teen. Always going off about some book I read. Drawing pictures of stars, space stations or colonies we would make on inhospitable planets.”
​
He sits up and places his plate by his side. “You draw? I’d love to see some of them.”
​
“I used to. But I haven't since that first year of college.” I turned to stare at the dying inferno warming us. I pull the cover around me tighter.
​
“When I was doodling before class one day the professor walked by me. He noticed what I was doing and grabbed my paper. I objected but he just stared at me. When he started to address the class he showed it off and mocked me for wasting my time.” Ponthyt turns his head to look at me.
​
“That's a dick move, But at least he couldn't do the same when you did it in your free time right?” I turned to him with a somber expression. He seemed to understand the implications though he seemed to be confused as to how.
​
“He couldn't have gotten into your room right? That'd be a huge breach of privacy!!!”
​
I grabbed the poker and stirred the coals of the fire. “You're right, he couldn't. But he didn't need to, my roommate would take them with her to class and he’d pin them up on the board to mock. I called the staff but since she was my roommate she didn't break any privacy laws and since my art was only ever worth the paper it was on it wasn't even enough to get a misdemeanor theft charge. I tried to hide it but she would always find them. I tried to get another roommate but he stonewalled my attempts and I couldn't afford to rent a place in town. ”
​
He took on a look of absolute despair. “... How… how could he be so aggressively intolerant of such an innocent hobby?”
​
I chuckled “It wasn't just mine, a few others had made the mistake of having a roommate with the same professor. I remembered one who loved going out in the woods for hikes. When he found out about that he mocked him for “Pointless exercise and admiring a random assemble of dead and dying shit””. I waved my arms about to emphasize how he inflicted his words.
​
Ponthyt stared at the ground between us with a look of utter confusion.” … He mocked someone for appreciating nature and being healthy?”
​
I nodded, “if you were not engaging with study of his topic you were wasting his and everyone else's time.”
​
Ponthyt looks at me with concern and shared pain. “Why, why didn't you go to a different school?”
​
I stared at him in his eyes. A scene of shame overtook me. “It was the top class in the country. My family was so proud of me. I was so proud of myself, I didn't want to disappoint them and me. Looking back on it, I realize my own pride was something I rarely contended with until then. It didn't help when he found out who my family was.”
​
Ponthyt recoiled and waved his arms in a “what” fashion. “Wait, what does your family have to do with this?”
​
I poked at a log to knock off the charcoal to expose the untouched wood underneath. “They were happy. He spent a lot of time in academic circles so naturally he met people who knew my parents. And the way they described this happy family irritated him something fierce. He gave me such a hard time with it. Mocking me for being a lazy nepotism pick who didn't deserve her seat in his class. He mocked anyone for having any kind of non professional relationship, we never spoke to each other outside of class. We never left or met with friends or family. If we tried too he’d find out and call the one in question a “Lazy sentimental idiot.””
​
I breathed in deeply, “... that hurt my pride so severely that I just stopped seeing them or any of my friends. I always said I was busy or had a field study, but I was just reading and rereading his lectures. I didn't even go home for the summer breaks, I just apprenticeshiped at his museum to study even more. At graduation he looked so… proud, I only realized he was proud of what he turned me into and not what I did a few weeks after I met you. How I let him turn me into an angry starile shell of a person.”
​
Ponthyt turned his head towards the fire. His ears straight up and a soft growl in his throat. “... If I ever meet that piece of.. nuclear waste, I’ll kill him.”
​
He turns to me and his features soften immediately. “Anyone capable of manipulating someone as passionate and creative as you... I can't even imagine the kind of living hell he made you seek…”
​
I chucked and a slight wag entered my tail.” I’m responsible for my life. MY pride kept me there for him to mold. I hate him, but I hate myself for it too.”
​
Ponthyt shoots up and screams at me “MERSHIT, Maarchal, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You had a right to expect your teachers to be respectable people. Not abusive and manipulative Sherkires (Ambush insect. Commonly seen as sneaky and unhonorable due to making pheromones and calls imitating other insects mating signals). He starts to speak softer as he turners to address me.
​
“Even this version of you, so cut off of why you love space in the first place is just.. You are one of the most remarkable people I have ever met. So humble with addressing yourself. You inspire me to be a tenth of the person you are.” He kneels in front of me and grabs my paws in his own.
​
“You are… you are so passionate, so creative. Even with being a self described shell. I can't even imagine how you will be when you open up again and explore your creativity in full and banish that monster's influence for good.”
​
I turn and I can't help but smile at his words.”... I haven't been in practice in years. But … I’m willing to relearn it with you.” I stared deeply in his eyes and that feeling again bubbles within me. The feeling of never wanting to leave his side, the feeling as though I found a piece I had been missing. Before I knew it I bit on his snout, recoiling when I realized what I had done.
​
‘I-I’m so sorry!!! You were just so close and and I felt something and before I knew it-” I was caught off guard when he bit my snout, holding my top jaw between his own set. I bit down on his lower jaw and we locked together. He tried to let go after a while. But I growled to let him know I wasn't ready yet and I used my leverage to lead him into my tent.
​
**\*
​
I got up and exited my tent. I stood up and stretched and twisted my back around. Lifting my arms above my head and pulling them as far out as I could. I looked at the coals still burning in our firepit, I could only tell they were burning from the heat going off of them as the glow was hidden by the sun's light. Before noticing the meat Ponthyt prepared last night still on the plates on the log we sat on.
​
“Pff, hey Ponthyt. Come out here!!!” I said behind me. He crawled out my tent with a head of messy fur.
​
“Wut ?” He said with half closed eyes and a disposition of utter exhaustion . I pointed to the cold meat. He still had a look of drowsiness before he realized what the significance of the strange strips were.
​
“Heh, I guess we won't need to make breakfast?” I chuckled as I sat down and hugged his head. I groomed his messy fur as I absorbed the morning sun. I don't know what the future of my career looked like anymore. But it was no longer the most important thing in my life. I loved space, I loved to learn. But In these years I had lost track of what was truly important. As I groomed him Ponthyt fell asleep with his head in my lap.
​
As I felt the joy of reciprocal love again for the first time in years I leaned back and watched the sunrise, caressing my love's head and breathing in the fresh air.
[First]-[Prev]-[Next]

Prepare for a wall of text, but I need to get this out.
My mom is disabled and on oxygen. She can walk around the house but can’t go most places without her oxygen tanks. I’m an able bodied worker (or I was; I’m currently on leave due to a knee injury and am going to physical therapy for six weeks). Now that walking and moving around is easier for me thanks to rehab, it’s back to the way things were, which are as follows:
-She makes the lists, I do the grocery shopping
-She gives me money for two packs of cigarettes every 2-3 days (yes, she still smokes by going outside and taking her oxygen off), I go get the cigarettes
-She gives me money for her medication, I pick up the medication at the pharmacy
-She adds to the laundry, I do the laundry
-She adds plants to the garden, waters them and gives them plant food, but I tend to them when she asks, such as cutting down dead ones and tying up plants that fall over
-She cooks and cleans, I get her things to cook and clean with (grocery and cleaning supply shopping)
Likewise she’ll often have me do things for her so she doesn’t have to get up and out of her chair, even though on oxygen she can walk, move around and do these things. This includes getting her coffee from the kitchen, turning lights on and off, bagging or unbagging things, filling or re-arranging the cabinet pantry (she has problems bending over due to her weight and back problems), grabbing her things from the closet or clothes from her room, putting lotion on her back after she showers, and cleaning up after myself if she doesn’t like how my room looks.
I’m 24, she’s in her late fifties. I’m finishing up college. I have a part-time job, though she insists I work 2 or even 3 part-time jobs to bring in more money. Half of, if not 2/3rds of my paycheck go in an envelope to be saved because she doesn’t trust me with saving money; if I object or put in an amount she doesn’t like, I get a lecture about how irresponsible I am with money. If I have, let’s say, $300 or more dollars in my bank account she complains that I don’t need that kind of money. Daily she reminds me of chores and things I have to get done; bloodwork, getting new glasses, and doing laundry are all things she’s told me to do literally everyday for the past week, as if I’m not already aware. I suspect I have ADHD as completing tasks that don’t interest me is a huge challenge; when I told her my doctor diagnosed me, she said “ugh, you don’t have ADHD; you’re not hyper, you act normal”.
Doors are not to be closed as she will wander in and out of rooms unprompted. This includes her using the toilet while I shower and coming into my room talking to me while I’m changing and half-naked. She comes into my room multiple times while I’m in bed to talk to me about certain things - she’ll point out that my bedside table is a mess, that I need to tidy up the bed, and that the laundry has to get done.
I’m overweight, medically obese even. Trust me, I see this and acknowledge it. Yet multiple times per month she tells me how I’m still young and should lose the weight now before it becomes a problem when I’m older. She tells me to wear makeup more often because I look pretty with it, even though she has been made aware that I am what I consider masculine and questioning my gender. She says I’m a freak for presenting the way I do, and will only ever always call me her daughter and a name I no longer identify with, (but that’s worthy of a whole new post entirely). She calls me a “fat girl” and is not gentle with her words, but is what she considers “honest” about everything she says. She always tells me that because my dad helps and pays for my phone bill and my car insurance that I am “extremely lucky” and deems me ungrateful and spoiled. (I can’t afford to do that right now, but I’m sure I could if I worked more).
I could go on and on. And for everyone that is going to suggest I live with my father, that decision is off the table. He would only be more aggressive regarding chores I haven’t done and would likely call me lazy for being depressed and laying in bed on my days off. He would also want me off my medication, something I need for my mental health to properly function and not want to off myself daily. Last month I threatened to go live with my father; at 2am she called him up crying and sounding defeated, and he only said that I wouldn’t be able to lay around and do nothing all the time, so I backtracked and have decided to stay with her. My finances and her disability income combined are the only reason we can keep our apartment. Once I leave, she has nowhere to go, and I can’t help but feel guilty for that.
My girlfriend and I intend to move in together within the next year and a half or two. Until then I am at the beck and call of my mother, who says she appreciates my help, where I only feel exhausted and taken advantage of. Despite all of this, I still feel like the villain; like I don’t deserve anything I receive. Like I’m a burden. Like I shouldn’t exist. I just don’t know what to make of it.
(I’ve posted regarding this on the entitledparents subreddit and only gotten put on blast for being selfish, ungrateful and “pathetic”, so I’m expecting it to be the same here too. After all, maybe I deserve it).

Hello everyone here to Alert everyone on Facebook marketplace about this scammer going around as a counterfeit currency seller goes by the name #Maxbeanz u/Maxbeanz he offers to sell you 20K Canadian for 500$ USD and then when you send that amount in BTC to his wallet he does request for another $300 as "insurance refundable fee" money or threatens you with a block. He's a scammer I wasn't even interested in buying but heard some dude got scored for 700$ Canadian from him + over 0.10 in BTC from other victims so it made me want to lure him in to get info about what area he's from but had no luck..
Everyone Be alert !! This post is to warn Facebook users
that's his wallet address for proof he's still scamming as we speak :
35WQeup6f6hkunE9CDrRTsBAptk3r2LzZW
He could have changed it but that's the one with over 20+ victims. Telegram : Maxbeanz
Canada #Currency #Notes #fraud #alert Vancouver police is a joke on the otherhand, mentioned they don't even know where he lives and they aren't interested in wasting resources on this but "Next time be careful online when u shop" what a joke

Hey Everyone,
So I've been working as a full stack C# .NET developer for about a decade now. Learning React.js at the moment to expand my skillset. All of my 10 years of experience are with really small companies. Nine years was spent at a independent software vendor with government contracts. I loved what I did for many years, until the company was purchased and moved to another state. At our largest we were ~8 people with 3-4 devs, and I was the most senior dev at that time as well.
I'm now working as an independent contractor for another small company, but in the construction services sector. I was brought in to save a failing series of projects with a team that was burnt out, and frankly, abused by their previous programming manager. Despite my best efforts, our most promising junior dev was already planning to leave, and then my employer saw fit to fire the remaining 3 developers, leaving just me after a few months.
It's been about 3 months of solo work now, and I'm exhausted with no one to work with. I'm now doing my best to find a job at a larger company. I want to work somewhere where I actually have a team- whether I'm just a programmer, or a project lead/manager, I do best when I have people to collaborate and communicate with. Frankly, the solo independent contractor life isn't for me and never will be.
After feeling like I nailed a number of interviews but still didn't get any offers, I'm at a bit of a loss on where to go next. I'm still regularly applying to jobs and working with recruiters, setting up interviews, etc. but losing faith.
I'm open to remote work, hybrid, and on-site. I'm an extrovert and really prefer getting to know people in-person, at least a little bit. I also live in an incredibly good area for jobs (DC/MD/VA area), but so much of it is "clearance required" work, which I do not have (but could obtain). A lot of it is also more true engineering work, not full stack web dev which is less scientific. Because I lack serious experience with engineering languages like C, C++, Java, etc. I feel like my skillset is just not lining up with most of the opportunities I'm pursuing.
I'm now considering a few options, and want to know what you guys think:

1. Go back to school and take CS classes, maybe even get a second bachelor's. My degree is Information Systems with a focus in application development and database management, not Computer Science. I actually started out as an Electrical Engineering major, but dislike working with complex hardware/circuitry. Would taking classes in C++, Java, algorithms, systems engineering, etc. help me land the more "software engineering" related positions in my area, or would it just be a waste of money?
   
2. Work on certifications and take project management courses. I've always felt I will go the management route one day. I tend to end up mentoring others, providing guidance and speaking up for my team, etc. during projects, and like the idea of facilitating communication and collaboration for engineering teams. My concern here is: I haven't worked for very large companies, so I worry I won't understand there processes from the get-go. My largest team was only 4-5 developers and I loved it, but I know some larger companies have teams of 10-15.
   
3. Go back to school and get a Master's degree in higher education. It's always been a dream of mine to work in the industry, do cool technical things and make decent money for a while, BUT then go work in education, probably at the high school or university level. My "ten year plan" (I'm 32) was to do this in my mid-40's, but this recent stagnation has me wondering if I should just go for it and accept that I won't be making six figures again for quite a while.
   

What do y'all think? Appreciate any thoughts, insight, or mentoring.

Disclaimer:This was made in the span of 3 days. I would have posted here daily of it weren't for the restriction of relationship posts to be only on Wednesday.
Part 1(Monday):
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Her reflective skin was like gold waiting to be rubbed and loved. Her luminous eyes were like marbles designed for gazers. Her hair was like a sari, but as soft as silk, waiting to infatuate onlookers who fall in its honey-sweet trap. An example of the above is me.
2 years later, this infatuation still encrusted me. I was in Class XI, and we were studying to obtain Indian Secondary Certificate. Although it is exacting on us, we still have the time to appreciate our boons. I did so via writing a love letter, and presenting it to her. Today, I found out that I had left it at home, despite fatiguing on it. I was devastated. However, I replicated it while pooping on the toilet at the double.
I gave it to my crush, and then, due to being overwrought, ran away from her, hyperventilating, laughing, and crying at the same time. Unfortunately, she just said thanks to me at reccess. I was devastated. However, when I went home, I was taken out of the frying pan into the fire. My mother had discovered the original love letter.
She told me that she found it in my bag, and that we were going to read it together. I was in the most calamitous set of circumstances I had been in my entire life. Fortunately, her phone started ringing in the adjacent room, leading her to retrieve it and communicate to the other person. I darted towards the paper and vehemently did the needful. However, I froze in trepidation when I heard the voice of my crush's father's at the other end of the landline. However, since he works in a scam-centre, he just wanted to scam my mother.
When she finished rebuking him, she came back to the drawing room, where she had reserved my love letter. When pursuing it and interrogating me about its whereabouts, she was replied to via bewildered faces and expressions with a lack of fear. However, she grew tired of pursuing its whereabouts, and therefore, left the room. However, I believe that she has seen it, as they uncrumpled it and left it neatly folded on our bookshelf, which fills me with terror.
Part 2(Tuesday):
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Her reflective skin was like gold waiting to be rubbed and loved. Her luminous eyes were like marbles designed for gazers. Her hair was like a sari, but as soft as silk, waiting to infatuate onlookers who fall in its honey-sweet trap. An example of the above is me.
I decided to test my valour via generating and sending a love letter to her. Unfortunately, at the time, she just said 'Thanks', which had left me devastated. Moreso, I had to duplicate my letter while pooping out biryani I ate on Sunday, in the highschool toilet, since my mother had stolen my original letter. I thought I did the needful to destroy it. Unfortunately, it was all in vain, which caused my letter to be found by my father.
My father was about to beat me with his belt, which was the worst thing that could happen to a 16 year old Indian teenager. However, fortunately, somebody in uaeteenagers gave me advice, which I used. I dissembled my stories and weaved a lie that states that my friend dared me to give my crush a love letter, and that I was not in love with her, which persuaded my father that I was not in need of a thrasing.
I was relieved, and to make my amygdala, my insula, my insular cortex, and my periaqueductal gray even more elated, she had put a love letter in my bag that apologised for her lacklustre response towards me. She has requested a date that will be taking place tomorrow, and since my parents will be out, of the house, I saw eye to eye with her metaphorically, to ensure that we could literally see eye to eye with each other tomorrow.
I am currently, very elated by this, and am thrilled by a new experience that I will be experiencing. Until now, the only acquaintance with dates I had seen so far were in Hollywood pictures, which cater to a western audience, and therefore, until now, have led me to believe that us Indians cannot get dates due to our conservative nature. However, I was proven wrong, and will extract the moral of the impossible being possible from this memorable episode.
Part 3(Wednesday):
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Therefore, I valiantly and strenuously, produced a love letter and delivered it to my crush. She was elated by this, and made me elated as well, via inviting me on a date with her. I contentedly to do so, not knowing the consequences of the tragic decision I made.
Today, at 18:00, which is half an hour after I reach my house, I get prepared to go on the date and dazzle her, leaving my house abandoned. To my ginormous shock, she had apparently booked a taxi for me. I live in Dubai. My house was in Al Furjan, while our date was in Motor City, which resulted in a mere half-an-hour journey As I diffidently walked up to the restaurant, I was greeted with a ghastly sight.
She had arrived, but not alone. Her entire family was with her, from her parents, to her elder brother, to her extended family, including her grandparents, uncles, and aunties. They began bombarding me with questions such as my grades in different subjects. However, I had a notable concern:As with most Indian parents, her parents were averse to love, and believed in arranged marriages, similar to mine. There was only one way out, and it was of an execrable nature.
With a heavy heart, I began to rip the most stentorian, malodorous and most fervent fart I had released in my entire life. It had now reverberated towards the now tumultuous room. Amidst all the pandemonium, I escaped from there, and with the permission of a stranger, took another taxi back to my house in Al Furjan, where I would be unscarred from the danger of both my parents' potential revelation, and the disapprobation of the family of my crush.
I am now typing this amidst a stream of tears and a heavy heart. However, I have now learnt sacrifice, and that bitter truth that life would be blemished in one way or another, for example, in this case, either via the revelation of my parents, the disapprobation of the family of my crush, and sacrificing my potential wife. However, this is something that can neither be concealed in y hippocampus, nor my amygdala, which results in me sharing this.
(Please speak in English. I don't know Hindi.)

Hi.. first time creating a such a reddit post and reaching out - normally writing these things in journals but never spilling my gutts out to the internet for everyone to see. If abuse triggers you please do not read.
I'm (F) 21, and have been going through a lot from a young age - good and bad.
At 13, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and severe social anxiety two years on. This derived from some family trauma. I found out my father was cheating on my Mum through a series of inappropriate text messages between him and a student of his at the time - and I had to break the news to her (all I knew at the time was mum deserves to know the truth, even if it hurts).
I recieved a lot of physical abuse from my Dad, when he found out I told her and this was really the beginning of the end for school. Given, I was going to an all girls private school at the time, I went from being part of the "popular kids", to the outcast within a year. when I found out student counsellors and students had ended up gossiping about my situation around tea, this made me feel deeply ashamed and embarrassed to even turn up at school.
I remember on the days when I did, walking into class would be trully uncomfortable - it would go from chatter in the class and as soon as I entered the room, you could hear a pin drop. I remember sitting in IT class, and zoning out from the fact that I was physically and mentally abused that morning, to having my teacher yell at me for not paying enough attention. This was when I stormed out of class and never came back.
There were so many days I had to walk home with my heavy backpack in terrible weather because mum was just trying to keep her job and pay the bills and my father wasn't in the picture for three months at a time because he would be cheating and travelling with this other bitch of a woman (which I later found out through an SD card that I had found bundled under some papers in his room). He'd lie saying he's going to a "work conference" when in reality, he was busy trying to please a woman 30 years younger than him, who eventually left him back to Bangladesh, taking all of the money he gave her. It wasn't all his money mind you. He took $25,000 in life savings of mine AND well over $80,000 in my mothers shared account.. which I hadn't found out until 3 years later - this also included money I had worked hard for. She was a total scam artist and my stupid father fell into her scheming trap. I was so confused at the beginning - I remember crying and wondering why this was happening to me.. mum doesn't deserve this.. I was lost. I remember roaming the streets alone at night some days never coming back until the early hours of the morning. Wishing my life was different. Wishing I could run away. Wishing this was only a nightmare I'd eventually awake from.
I'd never know when he would turn up. He turned up one day to come and drop me off at school and on that day, I had dressed up but him being in the picture again sickened me to the point I dropped my bag and went back to my room. He then stormed towards my room, slammed open the door, picked me up by my neck and dragged me to the front door all the while telling me "you worthless child, you're going to hell for making me late, you bitch" - mind you.. it was still 8am in the morning. He never needed to be anywhere in the past which also lead to me finding out that the reason he was so angry was because I was making him late for picking up that bitches child and dropping him off at child care.
It got to the point were child services got into the picture. I remember the lady coming every Wednesday to check in to see if I was okay. This lead to mum losing days off work because she would have to stay home to make sure I was okay, otherwise I'd be sent off to foster care. She nearly lost her job because of being reported so many times by some racist and nasty bullies at work for tiny things.
I never liked the system. I never liked how they focussed on the victims more than dealing with the perpetrator that caused all the pain and trauma. It was all too much for me. I had fo grow up too soon and there were many times people much older than me would tell me "you're mature for your age".
Trauma. It always stays with you.. you carry it to your grave and it impacts all areas of your life - from relationships to work. I have fears of losing loved ones to this day which is ironic because, i'm actually alone. I no longer have friends like I once used to. I mask my emotions at work and at get-togethers. Even though I tell the truth about my emotions, I always end it with "but I'm okay though! Don't worry!"
I never really feel like I belong. I feel misunderstood. People in my past used to tell me they never would have known what was going on in my life if I didn't say because I am always so happy, and kind, trying to make everyone feel included and belong - it's in my nature to be that kind person.. but.. it also has it's downsides when people start taking advantage of it.. sigh* that's another story.. I'm just trying to come to terms with my past and move on. But sometimes things happen in life which make it bubble back to the surface. I'm trying my best. That's all I know.
I often feel like a burden. My family is overseas and I'm not really close to my half siblings (although we say happy-birthday or merry Christmas with the odd "how's it going", it's normally surface talk). I feel homesick from time to time when I miss my cousins and family overseas which I haven't seen since I was 14.
I often feel like I do not belong. I never understood alcohol or cigarettes and would often be left out because I didn't do those things - I did once.. in highschool a few years on through peer pressure, but it wasn't me. So I cut that phase pretty quickly.
The only place were I felt loved through these times were when I had my loving 9yo dog who passed away 3 days from now last year (who had to be put down in my arms because he also had incurable cancer of the spleen) . He was my world. Still is. He would be with me when times were extremely tough and no one was there.. he was my support. And now he's gone, I often feel totally alone.. talking to my walls because I don't want to put pressure on my mother who constantly complains of bills and finances. Not only a few months after my dog passed, we found out that my father is also sick with an incurable Cancer and the Doctors noted he only has 4 to 6 years to live. Yes.. although he was the cause of much of the trauma in my life, I cannot change the fact that he is my Father and it's difficult for me to comprehend the fact that he could be dead in three years.. I'm only 21.. it's just.. a lot to think about and a lot that has happened in a small space of time. I also have my own medical issues currently. Given I've been trying to manage my kidney pain for months now. I found out today that it will take a few months to recover which is good news. But ths pain is still very much there - it can get exhausting balancing two jobs and study with physical and mental pain honestly.. not to mention, I've exhausted my boyfriend of two years with my issues.. and I feel absolutely terrible for putting so much pressure on him from reaching out.. last night I had a terrible breakdown and since then over call he just told me "I'm exhausted".. I just.. I know he loves me.. but my negativity is all too much for him and I no longer want to reach out to him given he also has things he's dealing with.
Again, I have no friends.. so I didn't really know where to go for this. I do have a remote psychologist but I only have an hour to talk with her and time was up before it even got to resolving my current issues. I had to fill in the gaps of my trauma and what prompts my sadness and stress.. which is another thing I find frustrating.. there's just too much to say and not enough time.
There are so many gaps in what I've written.. so many things left unsaid.. but my story could cover too many pages for anyone read in a small amount of time. My life is pretty chaotic right now. I'm just trying to hold on to hope but it's hard sometimes. There are so many of us struggling out there I just wish we could come together and fight this you know.. anyway.. thank you for reading.

I work at a childcare center in D.C. My coworker, X, who has worked there longer than I, has reasonable suspicion that several employees committed child abuse/neglect (including hitting children to discipline them, and leaving them unsupervised). She didn’t witness this herself but was told about it by several other employees who did witness this. She and one actual witness spoke with the director about their concerns soon after the events happened, but the director dismissed the idea and did not investigate. All this happened over a year ago.
I was hired this year, and just recently was told this whole story. I encouraged X to continue pressing the issue because the accused people still work here and directly supervise children, so if the accusations are true then those children are at risk. She and I spoke to two current employees who witnessed last year’s events, asking them if they would be willing to come forward to the director or to HR, but they both declined. In the process of us talking to them though, someone hostile to the idea (we don’t know who) found out that we were discussing this and reported X to HR for “making false accusations.” HR has now talked to X and told her that if she doesn’t present proof of the alleged abuse/neglect in 24 hours, she will be either written up or fired.
The situation is difficult because HR got ahead of X actually making another formal request for an investigation…all she was doing was talking to other employees and suggesting she might make one. And as far as I know, she was only suggesting that she would complain within the child care center, not that she would complain outside of it. So I don’t know if there are any legal protections for her against their retaliation. Any insight? If there’s a chance she does have legal protections, where should she go for counsel (as a child care worker her financial resources are obviously limited)?

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I want to go through the home buyers’ program but I’m not sure if I can do it. I need to give a back story first. My grandma owned 2 homes in our hometown (she lived in one of the homes), an apt building, and part of a vacation time share in Florida. My grandmother put my dad (her son) in the other home so he wouldn’t have to pay rent (the white house). But he was responsible for paying taxes and the upkeep of the home. But unfortunately, he could never pay the taxes on time and spent his money poorly. So, She took care of it when necessary. I think that’s why she always kept the house in her name because she knew he would lose it. Now I’ve always known my dad to be a drunk and he had a gambling addiction too. He was a violent drunk and abusive to my mom. which he denies to this day and swears nothing ever happened but I remember things. You would think he would want to fix his life when I came into the picture. Me being his oldest child and first born at age 31. But no! my sister came 3 years later. My grandma died when I was 8 years old from the injuries of a car accident in 2000. She left a will and was also given a $100,000 settlement from the trucker who hit her. she left the (white house) to my dad. And her home she left to my dad, my sister and I. we all own a third with me and my sister being Co-owner. my dad stayed living in the white house and rented out my grandma’s home after her passing. He ended up losing the white house for not making payments and moved into my grandmother’s homes. Now that my sister (29) and I (31) are adults we want to sell the home. it is old and run down but still livable. my dad lives in the home but can’t keep up with it. he has never been good with money. And now that he is older and his health has declined it is not safe for him to stay in the home. But he will not leave. He has fallen a couple times and needs to be in a senior living apartment. It is hard on me and my sister because we live about two hours away so when something happens, we can’t get to him fast enough. My dad is the only child and acts like it. He thinks we owe him something. But he wasn’t really around growing up and always left us with broken promises. sometimes blamed us for things we had no control over as minors that had to do with my mother leaving him. Mentally it feels like I’m talking to a child when I talk to him. We have had offers on the home, people have come out and looked and gave us offers. He wasn’t okay with moving and had a complete tantrum about it in front of the realtor. Looking like a 5-year-old that wasn’t getting his way. But we had to explain to him that when he is gone, he is leaving us with debt because of him not making payments. Not to mention he always pay the taxes late to where he has to get liens on the home or payment plans. my sister has paid the taxes a couple times while living with him in her early 20s. but he's not getting my money I work hard for while he drinks and gamble his away. there was A lot we didn’t understand, and he wasn’t telling the truth, so we had to call and find out for ourselves. He wanted to get a $200,000 home repair loan for the house but can't do it without me and my sister's signature as well. I told him no! you're not putting me in debt. you will get that money and not use it for the house or pay it back! My dad is a selfish person and never thought about his kids. one minute its "this is all of our house" and when he's mad and doesn't get his way, then its "this is my house! mama left this house to me!". but we have the will we know what it says. He played stepdaddy to his wife and her kids before doing for us. And they treated him like shit including the wife. They married in 2008 have been separated since 2014 but she is still around when that check comes and driving his car because he can’t drive anymore. He had the nerve to tell me and my sister he wanted us to pay for his divorce. Not happening! He didn’t even think of us when he got the settlement from my grandma death. I don’t have any kids but if I did and something like that happens to me, I’m putting that money in an account for my kids to accumulate over the years that way by time they are adults they have some type of leeway to get by. But that money was probably gone the same year my grandma died. And when we bring it up my dad acts like there was never any money but my mom made sure she got all the paperwork for us as proof later down the line. Now my dad is living off social security. And still drinking. Which is more of a reason he needs to move. One minute he is ready to move and when it’s time to find places then he back tracks. It’s frustrating. He is a drunk, will spend his check on liquor and do the bare minimum with bills. Then expect his kids to pick up the slack like his mom did. you had enough time to get it together. I have my own problems and my own bills. You live in a way better area then your kids and still want to take from us while we are out surviving learning as we go. I work for everything I have. I’ve never expected anyone to do for me that I can’t do for myself.
Now I want to go through with the first-time home buyers’ program. But I’m not sure if I can do anything with that house in my name. and he knows this but doesn’t care. He won’t sell the house. I mean he is out voted 2 v 1 but I don’t have the money to take him to court to make him leave. Us selling the house can really help all 3 of us out. I’m doing ok for myself I live within my means, and I save. But in this economy what does that really mean. That money would really help, and my sister has four kids. That money could really help her too. I just don’t know what to do. I just want him to think about his daughters, shit his grandkids as well. I guess its too late. We are just trying to survive that’s it.

Back in January, our fire sprinkler pipes froze and burst causing a major flood in our 6 unit condo building. Three unit owners including myself had to move out for major repairs. The HOA's insurance is covering all damages (studs in and out), aside from personal property.
Two items that are covered by the insurance settlement are a replacement for my dishwasher and repairs to my cabinetry. These items are separate from the overall contractor's work and there were additional funds allocated for these specific items. I have asked my HOA to pay me out for these specific line items from the insurance settlement so that I can handle the cabinetry repairs and dishwasher replacement on my own. They have refused to transfer this money over to me and have asked that I submit receipts for reimbursement after I handle these repairs/replacement on my own. The reasoning was that this is "standard accounting control practice for any non-profit and it's important to avoid fraud or the misuse of funds". They further said that they need to ensure that these funds are being used for the specific purposes here and that if I were to find a better deal on these items, they would retain the excess funds and only pay me out for what the actual cost would be.
I believe this money should be transferred to myself as it is very specific to repairs in my unit. Additionally as an insurance settlement, I don't believe use of this money as I see fit would constitute fraud or misuse of funds. Any thoughts or advice?