~Part 3 Luna~
A woman like Chang’e lived on a moon. Far away.
You can refer to me as Luna.
At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with a severe nerve pain condition. It is called trigeminal neuralgia but you can call it TN for ease.
I was frustrated. I had completed a degree in international finances from Chongqing University of Business and Technology. The boom of the economy was not the same. There was an urge to “lay flat”—to not try as a form of opposition to everything going on in a waning economy in China.
All are elephants chained for an audience. People love to peek and stare as though they are glass doors without hinges—to be made feel useless.
I developed TN at the age of 19, and was now 22. It came as an arrow, and quite literally to the face. It’s a rare nerve pain disorder often considered one of the most painful conditions known.
The illness involves intense nerve pain throughout the left side of my face. It felt like someone was trying to pull all of the teeth on the left side of my face without anesthesia. The pain can leave me falling to the floor unable to speak or move while screaming profanities while choked by pain. A feeling of a knife to my face over and over again. It leaves me in absolute shock. Like Roman candles to the face. An absolute hindrance. The anticipation of not knowing when it will happen again is a nightmare at times.
The disease is often called the suicide disease, apparently up to 26% try to take their lives. In a state of panic during one of the nerve attacks I began swallowing any pill near to me. I went to the hospital to have my stomach pumped when I was found comatose by my mother.
I want to be Chang’e and on the moon and away from a world I have had enough of.
Gossip spread around the workplace that I attempted suicide over an affair with a married man. There was too much guilt to return to the workplace. COVID did have an impact to the economy. I still remember my hometown having dirt and trees piled onto the exits and entrances to the city keep people in their places.
The work I did find felt beneath me. China has what is called the great firewall that keeps something in and out of the country’s networks. A VPN was necessary to access American TikTok as it was used as opposed to the Chinese version.
Feels humiliating the nature of the outcome for me—I gave up in many ways like so many Chinese youth. For work I would go to a local office building. Amongst a long hall would be rooms for live stream performers. I would entertain with watchers while trying to obtain virtual gifts for actual money. I despised it—sometimes the conversation could be funny or interesting but it felt hollow.
I would paint flowers on my face and wear hanfu clothing while doing ASMR. Competing in battles while dress cute and facing off with others. I would encourage and flatter those that send virtual gifts that could be exchanged for gifts. I would message and ask for WeChat account numbers to talk to them and I would be an emotional prostitute pretending to love and be interested in them for the hopes of more gifts. Methods of manipulation would be used as in begging, guilt tripping a viewer, and love bombing them. Often middle aged men would pretend to be the female host.
I had a mind of sparklers burning until it burnt and stung like wax—like I had the option to stop and cry and those tears stuck as wax and burnt or I soldiered on and grew accustomed to the pain. I was an elephant chained. The audience watched and interacted with me on the live. I was a chained elephant when it was found out about my previous attempt and when the rumors spread.
Too many thorns in life. Nails hitting at the wrong points like an equation for something terrible to eventually happen—a life set to end in misery—a fate.
My favorite dish was Henan noodles. I often cooked it with my mom. It provides great memories of childhood. I hadn’t talked to my mother as much as before. She moved to a job in Taiyuan.
Sometimes I would go up to visit her. But it was harder as she worked more and more hours. Sometimes voids build even when going through extreme nerve pain. And with trigeminal neuralgia, the pain was so intense that I would freeze and scream in pain. It cannot always be hid. It made me an elephant tethered.
Life can be like a pressure like no other. Too much stress. Makes one feel irritable with a mouth like a sprinkler of napalm when someone is too close. Life feels like a lit fire cracker held—in the end it would tear my hand up. Things kept building while the other side of my face began to hurt too recently. This was rare and not so common. My eyesight was becoming blurry too and it seemed I might have multiple sclerosis as the pain was on both side, it was not common for my age, and the blurry eyesight. An appointment was scheduled and I felt terrified to know what was going on and wondered if it was best to not even know my health.
I walked out of the studio and had a cigarette. My boss came out and joined to talk. He was concerned about view count and wanted me to do things to increase it that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a few comments I found incentive.
The boss sure liked to criticize and apply pressure. He was not impressed with my work and thought I could do something different. In China an application is used called WeChat. This application has many uses. People can display and share moments like a Facebook wall, message each other, send money, video chat, and even has a feature to find people near to you who are also looking for people near to them. I was to attract people onto dates. The idea was they would be lured in and the men would go to a set destination to a planned tea house that served snacks. When the men arrived (they had no knowledge of the setup) the bill would be at an absurd rate and if the men refused to pay larger men would use their size to force them to pay up.
I was not sure at the time yet if I wanted the job. Being worried about ethics and safety. It was something I would have to think about.
My medical expenses were growing and I knew the nerve disease could be expensive to treat with surgery. All I had was thoughts while looking at the moon.

~Final~
I watched Luna from Zhengzhou. On a screen. My name is Luo. I tap away on my phone in a dormitory in a Foxconn factory. I was a migrant worker from Luoyang in the province of Henan. My wife was in Guangzhou and I was in Zhengzhou. Far from each other. We could not be together. We were migrant workers. In China we use Hukos—a government document used to list family members like a tree—and it determine where you were tied to geographically. I could only get access to government resources if residing in your home province that your family originates from. This meant my daughter could only go to school in the province and city she originates from. I was stuck in zhengzhou at a Taiwanese own factory making iPhones. It was during the pandemic. COVID and restrictions. Felt claustrophobic. Could not leave the factory grounds due to orders. But my alienation was okay—manageable. I did it via numbing myself via sending virtual gifts to Luna. Like a noose around my neck in debt.
Workers were getting mad because we weren’t being paid our allowances. And we found ourselves restricted to staying with workers who were positive for the virus. Anger was growing. And I was feeling upset like everyone else. Isolated on a moon with Luna to talk to.
Pressure grew—discontent. People rushed to the courtyard where people in hazmat suits came with batons to face a mob of angry workers. Shouting and throwing of projectiles. Chaos grew. I stood amongst them just as angry. Fists clenched.
The feeling towards Luna was polar to the situation at hand. I figured I would be pulled apart into shreds. Hooks everywhere. A piñata to be busted with all my anger and frustrations to fall out like candy for Luna to eat on. In three weeks I grew exhausted and found my own moon off the edge of a bridge —parasitical love is thin.

Ever since I got back into Destiny, anytime I would play any PvE activity, I would run Void Hunter with a primary focus on invisibility, weather I'm solo and just trying to stay alive, or with a fireteam as support for revives or trying to get teammates out of sticky situations. With The Final Shape legendary campaign, I noticed that smoke bombs were removed, and while I still had my invisibilty dodge, my smoke bombs were my main focus of invisibility since any dodge would instantly refill them. I struggled a little for the first 2 missions, but once I understood Primatic a little more, I've modified my playstyle a little to be more aggressive and rely less on invisibility. Yes I still have invisibility from Prismatic, but I've learned to not rely on it anymore. Now my crutch items are the Red Death and the Wormhusk Crown. It allows me to take more risks since I can instantly recover health from dodging or killing any enemy. I'm on the last mission on Legendary difficulty, so hopefully I can beat it today with my renewed confidence haha

Anyone have experience with 1. Minimal support staff in general or 2. No MA ? And was it fine or not?
Considering a new job offer at a provider owned practice. I’m desperate to get back into private practice and can’t stand being a cog in the corporate machine. The earning potential sounds great, I choose my patient times, my schedule, screen new patients, sounds like flexible time off, low benefits, no CME $, pay my own malpractice & licensing fees.
I’m concerned with not having a dedicated MA or receptionist. The office manager has medical experience and will provide necessary MA duties including vitals on new/select patients and completing PAs. She will do check-in and collect copays. No confirmation calls. I am expected to schedule follow ups during visits. Someone off-site triages refill requests. There will be a part-time RN a few days per week for Spravato.
I could do vitals and scheduling sometimes, and I’m used to doing most of my PAs, but I feel like there needs to be at least ONE dedicated staff member in addition to the OM! He said ideally they’d have an MA eventually (i.e. who tf knows when) but probably not w/in 6 mos.
I want to hear if others have made a similar scenario work and how the office flow was. I can’t stand a chaotic workflow.

Over the last week I travelled around the Faroes islands with my friend, three weeks into the workers strike. We arrived on the 3rd June, and everything ran fairly smoothly at the airport on arrival. We had been informed we would be guaranteed a car with a tank full of petrol via 62N/Europcar. Luckily, we actually had a car upgrade to a RAV4 hybrid, with a 3/4 full tank of fuel.
Our first stop was Gjaargardur Guesthouse Gjov, 73km from the airport. It was a beautiful location, and we had a nice private room overlooking the green hillside above us. There were no supermarkets here, so the main effect of the strike was that the dinner was a buffet with salmon, cod, lamb, soup, and roast vegetables, instead of an a la carte menu. It still tasted delicious and fresh, and was half the price of the normal menu so I thought it was actually a bonus. There was a sign at reception saying hours were limited during the strike, but there was still someone to greet us and give us the key at 8:30pm when we arrived. We had 2 nights here, so due to fuel shortages, we just did local walks in the area and didn’t use the car. The walk up the cliffside costs 50DKK per person, and has to be paid in cash.
Our next stop was an Airbnb in Klaksvík, 45km away. There were a number of supermarkets here, which still had enough food to get by. We cooked dinner at home for the two nights we stayed (salmon pasta with sundried tomatoes, chilli, corn, and a chilli bean dish with frozen veg and tinned tomatoes). The supermarkets had a limited amount of frozen fish, frozen vegetables, and no fresh bread or baked products. But there was plenty of dry/non-perishable food available. Again we had 2 nights here, and we did some local walks that were a short drive away, and also free.
Friday was our biggest driving day. We checked out of Klaksvík and drove to Sandavagur for the Lake in the Sky walk (71km). This cost 200DKK per person, and you could pay with card or cash at the little tourist office at the start. It was an incredible walk, and I felt like you could see where the money was going, as they’re staffing the office and are doing ongoing improvements to the trail. It took us about 2.5 hours of easy walking including lots of stops for photos and a little snack break by the waterfall.
After this walk, we drove to Sørvágur (9km) to catch the 1:15pm ferry to Mykines to see the puffins. The ferry cost 120DKK per person, but there is also a compulsory guided tour you have to pay for once you reach the island, i.e. you can’t do the walk on your own. It costs 400DKK per person if you book online the day before, or 500DKK if you pay on arrival to the island. It’s a pretty steep price, but it was also one of the best things we did, and we saw SO MANY puffins so close up on the cliff top. I have no regrets about the price at all! You can’t walk to the lighthouse anymore, as there was a landslide 3 years ago that damaged the trail. Apparently they may not ever repair the trail, as the puffin breeding populations seem to be doing much better without large number of tourists tramping near the burrows. There were a few other walking options you could choose once the guided part of the puffin tour was over, and there’s a little cafe with some simple drink options and cake while you wait for the ferry back. The 6pm return ferry also detoured around the Dragarnir arch so we got a really close up view of it.
Once we got back to the car, we then had a 48km drive to Torshavn, where we spent the last two nights. It was “Culture Night” when we arrived, and the garbage had actually been collected and the streets cleaned in preparation for the festival, even though these services have been on strike for the 3 weeks prior. The fish and chip shop was closed due to food shortages, but there was a ramen restaurant open that seemed to be offering a full menu.
On Saturday, our last full day, we had a fairly low key day and explored the local area. My friend went to the swimming pool and gallery, then we did one of the free village to village walks that was a short drive from town. For dinner that night, we went to a restaurant bar that only had a single serve of fish soup left, one type of Faroese open sandwich, and the chicken and chips from the children’s menu. It was plenty to feed the two of us (alongside some delicious Faroese beer).
This morning, we drove from Torshavn back to Vagar airport (46km) to continue on with our travels. The car still had at least 1/4 to 1/3 a tank of fuel left. The car return was just a key drop box as the office wasn’t open yet. We were told at the beginning that we could return the car without filling up. We would be charged with the cost of refilling the tank, but wouldn’t be charged the extra admin fee on top. Check in at the airport was fairly smooth. There may have been a few less staff members around, but as it’s a fairly quiet airport, there weren’t any long queues for bag drop or security.
Overall I felt like we were incredibly lucky to still have our trip in spite of the strikes! If we hadn’t been able to rent a car, it would have been a very different story, because we’d booked accommodation in three different places. We also got very lucky that Torshavn was cleaned up just before we arrived. If you’re coming to the Faroe Islands for a culinary experience, you would also be disappointed on that front. There were further attempts at negotiation from Thursday afternoon till Friday night, but no agreement was reached. The locals seem to be getting increasingly frustrated with the situation, and I imagine fuel and fresh food will only continue to become more scarce as it goes on.

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It had been a few weeks since Altier was brought to the run-down shack that his black-scaled companion likely called home, and he could now comfortably say he was accustomed to the…household’s routine. The kobold typically left at the crack of dawn, returned a little after noon, and occasionally left again to forage until nightfall. When the weather was bad or there wasn’t a particular need for something, they half-heartedly chased their rabbit around for a bit, which usually ended with a bout of quiet petting while everyone got ready for the night. It was always amusing to see the energetic side of what he had come to know as a relatively lazy loaf of an animal. As for the routine of the ferrorabbit in question… Well…it was at least more interesting than expected.
Hoppit would begin his own series of activities as soon as his caretaker left—the first of which being a check of every nook and cranny in the shed. He sniffed at anything that caught his interest, varying from morning to morning, but he gave every object or corner its due attention. Once he was satisfied with that, he would eat some of the ragged plants that made up most of his diet, take a drink from his bowl, then jump onto the tro— table and plop himself down, his ears pivoting towards the door. It was hard to say if the lounging spot had been established before Altier’s arrival, but it was somewhat amusing to pretend that the little rabbit was standing guard over his core—if it wasn’t for one particular part of the morning ritual, that is.
Indeed, the ferrorabbit had a habit of licking the obsidian orb that sat in the middle of the room, which thankfully didn’t seem to perturb the system enough to give Altier a headache. He was confused when it first happened, but it was commonplace enough now that he barely acknowledged it. A part of him liked that he was getting attention as a core, even if it was delivered via a strange grooming method. The closest he got to being acknowledged as something other than ‘the dungeon’ was through an unfortunate misunderstanding that he could never properly rectify. He supposed that was hardly worth thinking about now, though; too much time had passed for there to be anyone left to correct. The little oddity of his mornings would have to suffice.
There wasn’t much to comment on as far as the rest of the day’s happenings. Hoppit would end his loafing by shaking his head and ears in a way that filled the silence with soft clacks, give the core a customary tongue bath, then jump off the table to nose his way out of the shed through a hole that was hidden by the storage cart against the wall. Where the rabbit went was anyone’s guess, but he always returned before anyone noticed he was gone, and often did so while covered in small cuts and scratches. Any blood from the lacerations was quickly licked off before it could be seen by the kobold, and in the event that the scaly caretaker happened to return earlier than expected, Hoppit would scurry over to the bundles of blankets to finish the cleanup in secret.
Today looked to be following the usual pattern. The kobold left bright and early with various gardening tools and a wooden pail, and Hoppit had since set off into the great unknown for one reason or another. Hopefully, he returned less injured than usual. It was frustrating to admit that Altier had begun to grow rather fond of the fluffy creature, and seeing the thing come back hurt was bothersome. Was it off looking for food? There wasn’t a whole lot given to it, so that was a possibility, and it could be getting into fights over whatever it found. That still didn’t explain why the animal was so thin, and Altier didn’t have enough to go off of to think of a potential solution. He wanted to help it in some way, like by summoning a creature to act as an escort, or maybe just by manifesting something edible like he once could. No, he could only stare at the ‘Synchronizing…’ that occupied his menu, wishing he had more information to work with.
He never thought he would miss the bombardment of notifications and their lingering presence that filled the edge of his mental vision; at least with that he could surmise enough to hazard some kind of action. Even knowing why the menu was acting the way it did would be a start. Yet, try as he might, there wasn’t a history for him to reference anymore, and he had nothing to work with. He was confident the last message had asked him to ‘accept’ something, then took his befuddled ponderance as an answer, but he was no closer to an explanation for what it wanted, nor why it prompted him in the first place. He just didn’t have another experience to compare against, since nothing like that had ever happened before. Not that he was ever in much of a position to allow it.
The entire purpose of having Altier inhabit a core was for him to become a dungeon of Decay, which entailed all the skeletons, poisons, acids, and whatever else came to mind when one pictured the concept. ‘Living’ creatures were something he only had the chance to experiment with near the beginning of his new existence, though he never dabbled past the first few insects before transitioning to the mindless undead. Having a thinking, feeling, breathing entity touch his core was a rite reserved only for the adventurers and soldiers that bested his trials, and that was usually a painful experience. Now, he had spent what he could only guess was hours being held by a kobold, followed by having a rabbit bump against him, and neither felt like what he came to expect. Instead, both had led to a completely novel reaction from the system. The strange circumstances put him at a bit of a loss as to what it all meant for him.
Sure, he could dismiss the deluge of errors from his companion’s involvement by pointing to the numerous ‘corrupted’ messages before it, and Hoppit was a part of mostly unexplored territory, but the lack of clarity nagged at the back of his mind constantly. Being exposed to activity after potential decades or centuries of unchanging solitude made him despise the informational dead end. If he couldn’t make sense of the rabbit’s circumstances, then he didn’t have much hope of deciphering the reason for why his system was misbehaving so terribly. He also didn't know much about the one who owned the decrepit holdings he was housed inside.
He still wasn’t sure what drove the kobold to take him from the cave. His suspicion of becoming traded goods fell flat after the first week or so, and he hadn’t noticed any cult-like behaviour, which was promising. Granted, a lack of nefarious behaviour didn’t mean there was a lack of nefarious intent, but he didn’t get the impression his companion held that either. The kobold itself didn’t seem quite settled on an opinion of his core, though it was up for debate if the hesitation was due to knowing what he was or not. They seemed to mull something over before bed each night, yet never reached a satisfactory conclusion, staring at the obsidian orb through weary grey eyes until they eventually forced themselves into sleep.
Whatever the underlying reasoning for his abduction was, he had observed enough to know that the kobold didn’t deserve to live in destitution. As beaten as the shed might be, they cared for it as best they could, and did so without a single groan or grimace of complaint. The floors were cleaned with a tattered rag and fresh water, dust was removed regularly, and any stray mess that Hoppit made was dealt with promptly. They even took the time to wipe off his core, which was possibly where the ferrorabbit got the idea to start licking him. The only time Altier had seen discontent from the kobold was when they didn’t find much during their foraging, and thus couldn’t give any treats to the excited and bouncy herbivore.
He wasn’t aware that a creature’s face could make such a painfully broken expression, and he was quick to decide that he never wanted to see it again.
Vexingly, his metaphorical hands were tied; a dungeon could only influence their Domain, and given the state of his system, not even that option was available to him. All he could do was glare at the rotting wooden beams that held up the roof and remember when such an issue didn’t exist. It would have taken a mere flicker of thought and a paltry sum of mana to mend the struts when he was a proper dungeon. He could even outright reinforce the structure by weaving in other materials, leaving the appearance as it was while making everything stronger than iron. Well, he once could. Working with other affinities was something that came to him after absorbing the coloured motes left behind by adventurers, and the accursed stone that stole his mana had taken that ability as well.
An attempt was made anyway, his will ordering the deteriorated wood to absorb any trace metals from the ground, but it was no use. He couldn’t feel the iron or stones beneath the shed like he would have been able to before, all but confirming his suspicion that his connection to the Earth element had slipped away. Nature was much the same; the only way he knew when Hoppit had returned most days was from the subtle noise and the essence of injury. The other attributes—Air, Flame, Luma, Shadow, and so on—were ones he never experimented with to any real extent, so it was less noticeable when he lost his grasp on them. Perhaps they faded early. Either way, all he had left was a waning cognizance of his own alignment, and that wasn’t of much use to him. If he had any appreciable mana income, then perhaps he could do something, but he wasn’t even sure what the upkeep of his current Domain might be. It was entirely possible that he was running on a deficit, which would offer a reason for why his system had been so—
[Do#$@n Ex@#d$%^&d! CRe@#r H-H-H-HoPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP—]
[Errrrrrr—]
[Sy$%^hroni%^$zing…]
[Creeee-tu— Hoppit ha@$ esttttb-hed terrrrrrr-ity f^#% t$e dun@&$n!]
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“Well then,” he mumbled to himself, taking in the strange scene behind the shed. For one, he could actually view a small distance beyond the structure now, and two, there was a rather proud-looking Hoppit sitting on his haunches before a pair of significantly less prideful examples of the species. They looked quite a bit bigger than the lazy loaf Altier had come to know, yet they were more cut up and dejected than his furry friend. That answered where the injuries had been coming from, he supposed. Hoppit was probably running off to bash heads with whatever animal population existed here beforehand, and they had only just reached a consensus on who was in charge. Impressive.
One of Hoppit’s ears turned back towards the shed, his head following suit as he gave a lagomorph’s approximation of a ‘Look what I did!’ smile. Altier blanked out mentally, but didn’t have time to question anything before the new leader of the local rabbits imperiously pointed a paw towards the surrounding forest, which was equally surreal to witness. Most surprising of all, the…subordinates? The other ferrorabbits did as commanded, keeping their forms small as they took off into the foliage. Soft clacks came from Hoppit’s pleased shake of his head, then he too left the area with only a slightly lopsided bounce to his stride.
The man-turned-core could only gape at what he saw. Were animals always so…expressive? Had Hoppit heard him? What in the world was happening? Why had Hoppit’s personal conquest led to Altier’s Domain expanding?
He lamented not having fingers, nor temples to rub with them. His system was a garbled mess of errors and inconsistent messages, his residence was falling apart at the seams, his companion was someone who abducted him from the dungeon, yet never did anything past that, and his first real experience with an animal was turning out to be more confusing than he thought possible.
All of this was after an unknown amount of time spent commanding legions of undead to strengthen the very people who he would later learn had lied to and manipulated him, making him into a nightmarish entity just to bolster the power of their forces. He almost missed the days spent gazing out of a mossy window. At least then he knew what to expect.
Nothing made sense anymore.
= = = = =
The soft sound of roots ripping free from soil suddenly stopped, only to be followed by a dull thud of Ceele’s palm slapping against the ground to catch her fall before she landed on her rear. She righted herself with her tail and tossed the stubborn weed into a pile with the others. No matter how many mornings she did this, they always seemed to replace themselves faster than she could remove the pesky things. A sigh slipped from her muzzle as she set about grabbing the next one embedded in the vegetable garden.
Aches and spreading stiffness flared up, but went ignored as she neared the end of her duties, though she was well aware that they would come back with force once she tried to settle down for the day. The impending soreness was an inevitable byproduct of spending so much time working. Still, she knew that if it wasn’t for the kindly old couple that allowed her to call their shed home, she would still be sleeping beneath the stars while making sure nothing tried to get at her Hoppit. Even if it was just a part of the deal, they were owed this much in return, and she would see it done properly.
The sun bore down on her back as she did her usual tasks, which was a departure from the slightly overcast weather as of late. It looked somewhat promising when she checked in the wee hours of the morning, yet as her gardening duties dragged on, so too did the intensity of such a clear sky. A disappointed glance at the empty wooden bucket on the edge of the field was quickly corrected. She hadn’t thought to refill it at the river after watering the crops, and her parched throat was making its protests known, while also reminding her that there wasn’t much water left at home either. One more thing to take care of when she was done.
A gruff cough brought her attention towards the old kobold resting his back against a tree some distance away, safely shaded from the unforgiving rays beaming down. Her displeasure at having yet more to do was hastily wiped away. She was undecided on what to think of the detached audience, but looking so sour while upholding her side of the agreement wouldn’t reflect well on her. Hopefully, he hadn’t seen it. Not that she could tell if he did; he always had the same expression when he watched her work. The elder kobold’s arms were crossed, a finger tapping absently against his bicep, while his tail sat motionless on the grass, the muddy red colour of his scales standing out amongst the greens and browns. ‘Makis,’ was his name, assuming her memory served.
Makis had taken to observing her every so often, usually propping himself against this or that at a distance, the unwavering scowl being as unnerving as it was belying of his age. Somewhat loose skin sagged a bit around his jowls and neck, yet the rest of his face was still taut from how much time he spent examining red-hot metal, and his arms were marred with countless burns and cuts from his profession. He held an oppressive aura, though the crinkles around his eyes and muzzle suggested he smiled as frequently as he glowered, even if Ceele was yet to see the former. There was only the same judgmental expression aimed at her when he was around. She could only hope that he didn’t take offence to some unintended slight, but she didn’t know him well enough to say what might be considered one.
They hadn’t spoken since she took up residence on the outskirts of his land. His wife was the one to introduce them, but it was quickly established that he had no intention of being a chatty individual. He led Ceele to the shed hidden amongst the trees on the edge of the property, then dismissed her with only a grunt coming from the elderly kobold. She supposed that it was for the best. Her experience in socializing was centred around convincing others to employ her, and there hadn’t been much of an opportunity to expand her horizons while living a life on the road. If that had been the end of their interactions, she would have swiftly written the terseness off, but he appeared every few days, taking up residence beneath the shade as he watched her work, never speaking a single word. At least he didn’t openly protest her presence, yet she figured that would be easier to manage. He wouldn’t be such an enigma then.
There wasn’t a whole lot she knew about him besides his penchant for ‘supervision,’ and anything beyond that was what his wife had volunteered during the rare opportunity they had to chat. She was told that Makis worked the smithy out front, and although he had retired from doing so in an official capacity, she could still regularly hear his hammer as she tended to the garden, so she figured he kept himself busy most days. It made her wonder what was so interesting about a vagrant like herself, but when there was so little else to do, she could see how anything could be made worth the attention. It was just him and his wife living in the once bustling home, after all; the couple’s children had long since grown up and made families of their own.
She noticed his gaze shift elsewhere as she tugged yet another stubborn intruder from the soil, his arms falling from across his chest and the perpetually worn displeasure melting to that of curiosity. He wandered off shortly after, and she had to make an effort not to fall onto her tail as the pressure on her shoulders unexpectedly evaporated. Did something happen?
Ceele shook her head free of the distracting thought. It wasn’t her business if he grew bored with watching her work. As long as no one voiced any complaints, she could only assume that she was doing a satisfactory job. Maybe he finally decided that he didn’t need to be so watchful because she was doing well! That could be it, right?
A glance at the somewhat sloppily maintained garden erased the false confidence from her face, but she was just as quick to focus on finishing up, unwilling to allow darker musings to fester. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be anything else that needed her intervention. The weeds were all uprooted, the soil was appropriately dampened, and her check for pesky insects or wildlife turned up nothing to worry about. She was free for the rest of the day!
…Or she would be free—as soon as she finished the last of her tasks, anyway.
The black-scaled kobold got up from her crouch unsteadily, shivering and wincing from the pins and needles in her legs. She would have to remember to stretch more often; it was far too easy to forgo that kind of thing just to make the overall work go slightly faster. Her hand reached out to grab the pile of weeds and put them into the bucket as she ran through what needed to be done before she could properly relax. Hoppit’s food needed to be washed, she needed to bathe, and they were running low on water anyway, so she would have to visit the river. Just the thought of dragging herself into the forest again made her muscles protest, but she wouldn’t have the energy to do it later. She forced the smile that had started to fall and took the first of many steps.
- - - - -
The river wasn’t too far away, only taking a few minutes of traipsing through the dense woodlands until she reached her destination. It was an idyllic little spot. The trees thinned out to allow a grassy bank along the water, and there was an appreciably gentle slope from shallows to depths, making for a convenient place to take care of various needs. She had discovered this place during her travels, and it was where a kind older woman found her.
Ceele was washing off at the time, with Hoppit safely taking shelter from the outside underneath the bundled blankets while he waited. The trickle of the stream brushing against rocks covered the sound of footsteps, so she was rather surprised when an aged voice called out to ask if she was okay. Her first reaction was to distance herself and apologize—the why didn’t matter, but she had learned that most people were more lenient of her presence if she seemed apologetic for it, and she usually was. The elderly kobold just laughed at her scrambling, tacking on an assurance that there was no need for modesty. The woman was blind, apparently, which explained how Ceele’s blackened colours hadn’t deterred her.
Strangely enough, there was a comforting sense of ease around the one who introduced herself as Hira. It was a sort of presence that Ceele could only vaguely remember, and it drew her close enough to speak as she finished bathing. The conversation wasn’t anything profound, of course—they hardly delved deeper than surface-level small talk—but Hira lost her smile as she listened to the younger kobold. By the end of it, the old woman posed a series of questions with a dark inflection to her voice, and Ceele struggled to find an answer.
‘Are you tired of looking for something that only slips away? Are you tired of running? Do you really want to be scared and alone?’
If the silence bothered Hira, then it didn’t show. She had simply held out a hand and offered Ceele a way of life that didn’t involve wondering where she would be spending the night, nor entailed cowering in the brush while fearsome predators roamed freely. It would be a simple existence of few fortunes, but it was safe, and it was honest. All she had to do was say yes.
Ceele denied it at first, partially because she knew most people despised Hobbit's species, and partially because she couldn’t shake the offer being too good to be true. Hira was quick to propose a compromise; Ceele could take residence in the gardening shed that had fallen from use, and to satiate the nagging sense of an unfair deal, she would be put in charge of maintaining the garden itself. All Hira wanted was to ‘see’ her favourite space bloom again, since she couldn’t take care of it anymore. The black-scaled kobold stared longingly at where Hoppit was, his little body shivering from the prolonged cold and fear that he would be hurt if he left the blankets hiding him. It was with a heavy guilt that she accepted Hira’s offer, keeping quiet about her true reason for doing so.
That was in the past, however, though she thought about it every time she stopped by and saw the smooth rocks where she and Hira first met. Eventually, she might gather the courage to admit that she was housing a ‘pest’ and beg for forgiveness. Until then, she would just work her hardest to prove it wasn’t a mistake to give her a home. That her endless efforts weren’t meaningless. That Hoppit deserved to be more than a ‘pest.’
That Ceele was more than something she had no control over being.
She cleared her head a bit and started on the reason she came all this way. Her dress was rather easy to wash in the meandering water, and the trees provided a suitable place for it to dry in the sunlight and light breeze. The weeds were fine with a thorough rinse near in the shallows, but taking care of her own hygiene required her to wade farther in, though it only came up to her chest in the middle of the rill. Still, she could scrub off the soil and grime, which was all she really needed. Perhaps some simple soaps would help rid her of the pervasive black that stained her skin and scales, but that was beyond her meagre means for the time being, as well as being mere wishful thinking.
She worked past the dreary mindset that settled in when she allowed it, focusing on how serene the river was. The soft birdsong from the trees helped make for a peaceful experience, and she could feel the somewhat chilled liquid basically pour into the aches and pains throughout her body, washing away the stiffness from spending so long under the unerring sun. It was nice to escape reality and let thoughts drift while held buoyant by calmer waters.
Yet the bliss was short-lived. Even if winter was gone, spring was still far from warming the waters enough for her to laze about for too long. She dragged herself from the soft current and fetched her dress from the low-lying branch she left it to dry on. It was still a touch damp, but it wasn’t anything a bit of time in front of the fireplace wouldn’t fix.
Ceele was only a short distance away from home when she heard a gravelly male voice, but it was the flicker of sight between the trees that made her drop what was in her arms and lunge into a sprint.
Makis stood just outside the gardening shed, a ferrorabbit held at arm’s length by rusty crimson hands placed on the scruff and haunch, the rabbit’s little ears flattened as fear filled its tiny face. Her eyes widened further when she noticed the small stains of blood in his light brown fur. They found out about him. Ephemeral claws of blackness clutched at her soul, ripping the very fabric she was made of as an unseen beast smiled, eager to take yet one more thing from her. Her Hoppit. Her baby. Her everything.
“Hoppit!” she shrieked, her words all but tearing out of her throat in desperation. Frozen blood coursed through her veins, yet poured into exhausted limbs. She broke through the treeline with no regard for the branches slashing against her flesh, panic making each sting fade before it could be processed. The grizzled glare of the older kobold snapped towards her, his usual scowl picking up an actual air of intensity that she never thought could be absent, the promise of violence lurking in his eyes. She skidded to a stop a few paces away, the lump in her throat threatening to clog her airway. “S-stop hurting him!”
“Didn’t,” he barked back, his tone even yet firm. “Cuts ain’t me. I’d’a done worse if’a had ta mind ta.”
The blatant declaration snapped her from blind panic, although his apparent anger didn’t do her fear any favours. “B-but… Then how…”
“‘Hoppit.’ Named it, did’cha?” he grunted, ignoring her confusion and bobbing the rabbit to get her attention again. His gaze shifted back to the animal, the flames of ire cooling slightly. “I was wonderin’ why yer plots ain’t dead yet. Suppose this critter’s why.”
One of her hands hesitantly reached out until she pulled it back, while the other clutched at her chest to stop her heart from hammering against her ribs. She couldn’t act rashly. Not while her baby was in his arms. “I—”
“Soft thing, ain’t it,” the elder kobold commented curiously, cutting her off.
“Y-yes?” she returned reluctantly, struggling to stop herself from lashing out to reclaim the ferrorabbit in his grasp.
“Like fine silk.” Makis tipped and tilted the animal, inspecting this and that with a deep-seated frown, all while Hoppit silently looked to her for help. The pit in her stomach grew. She needed to get him back, but how?
Ceele swallowed the dense dread as she tried to formulate some sort of plan, stumbling over her words and forced smile. “I-it’s nice! Isn’t it nice?”
His eyes snapped back to burrow into her own with hatred. “Wasn’t a compliment, girly.”
“B-but you—”
He released Hoppit’s lower half to jab a claw at the various spikes around his body, plying them with minimal force. “Look. See this? These’r suppose ta break bone. ‘Specially when he’s stiff like this. Ain’t no way I should be able ta bend ‘em. He’s barely more than a walkin’ carcass—all skin ‘n stick. He’s gonna get picked up by a wandering pecker if he keeps pissin’ about out ‘ere. It’s a wonder he’s still kickin’. What’cha feeding ‘em?” His gaze dropped from her face to the rest of her, disgust curling his muzzle into a snarl. “N’ver mind. I can guess.”
She felt the dampness build at the edges of her vision, unprepared to not only worry for Hoppit's immediate health, but also to face such harsh criticism while she was so vulnerable. “I… I try to make sure he has…”
Makis crouched to release the ferrorabbit onto the ground, Ceele dropping to her knees the moment he did. The terrified lagomorph wasted no time, bolting towards his adoptive mother and leaping into her arms, shaking uncontrollably. The rust-coloured ‘bold stared as she started soothingly stroking the animal’s back.
“Yer given’ em the weeds, aren’t ya?” he stated rather than asked. She gave a teary nod when her voice wouldn’t respond for her. The old kobold drew a breath, letting it go in an exasperated sigh as he stood back up, his expression becoming more impatient than antagonistic. “What else?”
“I— Um…”
“What. Else?”
“W-whatever I c-can find!” she sputtered out. Hoppit tried to hide against her neck, prompting her to tighten her hold. She couldn’t stop herself from shrinking, the guilt and confusion pulling her head down. “R-roots, vegetables, fruits… I give them as often as I can.”
His glare continued unimpeded, his cadence cold. “That it?”
There were a million things Ceele wanted to say. A part of her wanted to beg him not to kick them out of the first safe place she had in longer than she could remember, but she couldn’t find the words. She wanted to deny the judgmental tone that stabbed into her insecurity surrounding how good of a job she was doing with Hoppit, but the deadened void in her chest swallowed her pride whole. She knew he was right to critique her. That she was failing in the only thing that mattered anymore. That the feeling of loss would return.
“I try,” she whispered through the beginnings of a sob. “I try to find more, but he needs someone around, and I have to work the garden, so there’s only so much time I can spend looking. He won’t even eat all of what I bring back…” Tears dripped off her cheeks as she aimed a desolate smile at her furry friend. “He wants to make sure I have some too.”
“Yer killin’ em,” Makis pointed out plainly, crossing his arms. “He’ll be dead ‘fore the summer at this rate.”
“I know!” she shouted, forcing back the memories of insidious murmurs that lurked in the back of her mind, eager to creep into her ears again. The hate-filled stares that followed her, the rumours that arrived in towns before she had the chance to make an impression, and the guilt that loomed over her like an executioner's axe… “I know I am… I just… I don’t know what he needs. I don’t know how to make him happy…but I try. I’m trying…”
“…Yer an idiot, girly.”
She looked up to see the elder kobold walking away without another word. Her eyes fell to Hoppit, the ferrorabbit pressing himself against her as much as he could. He was small, thin, soft, and growing weaker by the day, but he never let it keep him down for long. No, he always showed his best for her, giving her joy that wasn’t provided anywhere else. She saw the thin cuts and dried blood, though she didn’t know where they came from, nor how he got out of the shed in the first place. But that was okay. Hoppit was okay, and she had Hoppit, so everything was okay, right?
…But how much longer would everything stay okay? How much longer until her efforts weren’t enough, and she was left desperately reaching for fading memories of what once was? How much longer until she killed her baby too?
How much longer until she was alone again?
Soft footsteps drew near, pulling her from the spiralling thoughts that threatened to gnaw at her soul. Damp, blurry eyes fell on Makis returning with a small wooden crate, the older kobold stopping a few steps away. He dropped the box, a deep, rattling thud produced as it impacted the ground, making Hoppit flinch in her arms. Ceele blinked as she kept him calm, then blinked again, looking up at the man for answers.
“The name, girly,” he spat in irritation. “Ferrorabbit. Ther’ Earth aligned creatures; they need metals. They don’t care where they get it, but they need lots of it. Iron, copper, tin, lead—raw crystal, if they can find it. You name it, they’ll take a chunk out of it. It's why they bother farmers so much; the best soil’s usually top’a gem deposits, ‘n the little bastards have no issue burrowing deep to get it. Dries up the element’s energy ‘n makes the crops weak.”
Ceele’s mouth opened and closed, each unsuccessful attempt to speak making her feel smaller and smaller. More and more lost. Why was he telling her this? How did he know? What was in the—
He kicked the crate with the side of his foot. “Scraps. Don’t’cha look at me like that. I’m a smith, girly. I might be old and retired, but I still work a forge. Now, this ain’t anything pure—it’s just slag and hunks—but I’m sure the critter won’t mind. Your little gardenin’ project pays off, ‘n I’ll see which of my contacts can get in some better ore.”
She ripped her eyes away from the box and met the perpetual scowl of the old kobold, seeing a warmth behind the hostility that she had never noticed before. “…Why?”
He scoffed in amusement, which looked somewhat menacing on such a hardened expression. “Yer a touch stupid, girly, but the missus adores ya, ‘n yer a good worker.” A shadow of a smile formed on his face. “Hira spent more evenings asking ‘bout how the plots are doin’ than I got time in the day. She’d bite my head off if I noticed a critter like that sufferin’ and didn’t lend a hand. ‘Specially when it’s obvious you ain’t tryin’ ta hurt the thing.”
“B-but the garden… Isn’t he a problem?”
Makis rolled his eyes, turning with a dismissive wave of his hand. “If he was, he’da killed it by now. I’d say he’s been keepin’ the others clear ‘n got scratched up for the trouble. That’s more reason to feed ‘em right in my eyes; pay the poor bastard his dues.” He paused after a few steps, shooting her one last incredulous glance. “‘N the rabbit’s right. You’re not much better off than he is. Eat. Before the missus takes my head, preferably. I ain’t need ta hear her worryin’ over you more than I already do.”
And with that, he walked off back to the house, leaving Ceele to sit stunned on the ground with Hoppit quietly nuzzling into her.
“Hoppit…?”
The ferrorabbit perked an ear and gently licked her collar. Fresh tears ran rivulets down her face, yet they didn’t weigh her down. They felt freeing. She adjusted her hold on the rabbit and held him out, taking in the small cuts and numerous other injuries she had never noticed before. He stared back at her with worried eyes.
“You’ve been busy, huh?” she cooed quietly, doing her best to keep her voice from cracking. He shrunk in her hands. “I told you to stay home, baby. What if something happened to you? I wouldn’t know where you went, and…”
Her protests died out as she saw what was unmistakably guilt on his little face. She brought him back to her chest and cleared her throat.
“It’s alright, Hoppit. If… If you want to help momma, then we can work together, okay? Just…please don’t go off getting hurt… I don’t know what I’d do without you…” The rabbit didn’t reply, and she was pretty sure she had never heard him make any sounds that weren’t his happy little ear clacks, but she chose to interpret the nuzzling as an agreement. “Such a smart boy…”
She took a breath and wiped off the excess moisture from her cheeks, setting Hoppit down on the ground. “Let’s bring Mr. Makis’ gift in, and then I need to go get more water so we can clean you up, okay?”
He bounced his way to the door of their home, waiting patiently for her to lug the surprisingly heavy crate into the shed. He was even still behaving himself by the time she returned from picking up the things she dropped in her haste. There wasn’t a single protest from the ferrorabbit as she washed over his wounds with warm water, nor when she asked him to wait as she cut up a small salad for him using an extra portion of her rationed vegetables. Finally, once everything else was gone, she tentatively sifted through the box until she found a chunk of something that didn’t look so sharp, then offered it to Hoppit skeptically.
As startling as it was to see him bite through metal without issue, she couldn’t help but tear up again at how pleased he looked with the bizarre addition to his diet. He munched through the first piece, then stared at the box while pawing at the air, asking for more. She obliged through wet laughs, feeling lighter than she had since he first gazed at her from his burrow, alone and afraid, just like she was.
Her little baby was happy, and that made it okay.
Next
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A/N: Thank you to my Patrons, new and returning! No Thanks, Emmanuel, and Megathor join the others who get to read 1 chap ahead!

I simply don't know where to start with this.
I am a 26 year old white male from NW Ohio. I have never been in a relationship and I really do not know how it works. But the urge remains in me to find one. If I could stomp that feeling out of me, I probably would but I don't think that's possible.
I struggle with undiagnosed mental issues and since they're undiagnosed I simply don't know what or how much I have. I most certainly suffer from an anxiety disorder and there's a good chance I may suffer from bipolar 2 (not too, but the secondary version that involves depressive episodes and not manic episodes) or some type of depression. There's a decent chance that I have Autism and/or Asperger's. Who knows, maybe I don't have anything wrong with me (fat chance) but I feel like it should be a fair warning for anyone.
I am sadly technically a NEET. I am not in education, employed, or in training (which is what NEET means.) Due to this, I don't have a drivers license or a car. If you want meet up, you'll have to travel to somewhere I would be able to walk to.
I am a very reserved person. Like, I am an open book if I know and trust you enough, but I don't like airing my stuff out there. This whole thing is quite vulnerable to me. I would not be shocked if I back down from this very quickly. This is posted on a throwaway account too. I will eventually talk to you on my normal accounts when I feel comfortable.
I'm not ready for kids, nor do I know if I ever will be. (Please be child-free.)
My self-esteem is so low that it might as well not exist. I view myself as ugly and I do have a lot of qualities that would be deemed as ugly.
I have...

• Glasses.
• Bags under eyes, always.
• An under bite.
• Imperfect teeth.
• A flat face on the profile view of the face.
• Can't grow facial hair correctly.
• Overweight at 235 LBs (like what everyone says, I am working on it... Honest!)

That being said, everything is subjective. These ugly traits you may find cute or could be entirely indifferent about.
I guess now that I have gotten all of the bad out of the way, perhaps I should actually talk about myself in a more positive light.
While I won't provide a photo of myself til I feel comfortable or feel like I can genuinely trust whom I am talking to, I can describe myself. Obviously, above is also applicable.
I am...

• Somewhere in between 5'8 and 5'9. I describe myself as 5'9.
• Brown Hair and Green Eyes. Though, is constantly in heated debate. Some people think I have Blonde Hair and/or Blue Eyes.
• I try to wear my hair medium to long.
• Typically in a graphic T-Shirt and always wearing jeans. No matter how hot or cold it is. If it is cold, I put a hoodie on. If its hot, I will suffer through it.
• I used to wear red Converse High-Tops all of the time. But I do now switch between them and boots, as Converse aren't great for walking.

I am straight and monogamous.
My interests are...

• Video Games
• Personal Computers
• Anime

A lot of these interests also focus on a certain era of it too. Namely from the 90's to the early 2000's. Doesn't explicitly stay focused there, but that's my comfort zone. I have a lot of deep interest with-in the production or what's going on under the hood. Sometimes I may have interest in a certain musical artist or album, but that's much rarer to happen. I don't really have much interest beyond that.
I have a large collection of video games, retro hardware, and have a selection of Anime on VHS and LD. Of course, I also have Anime on Blu-Ray and DVD when I want the best quality you can get but there's just a vibe with analog Anime pressings being watched on a CRT.
The type of music I listen to is mostly Metal and Alt Rock, with a little bit of a dabble in 90's East Coast Hip-Hop and Techno/Electronic. When I say Metal, I don't mean like hardcore screamo where the vocals sound like a blender, but like math rock and post-hardcore.
I enjoy going to flea markets, garage sales, and thrift stores. It is the places to get and find cool stuff for cheap.
I am not religious, at all. Would identify myself as an Atheist. I have no issue with religion beyond people using it as a vehicle to cause issue.
I smoke and use marijuana, but I don't drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes.
I politically lean left, but I am not really politically correct. I also don't let politics run or control my life.

What I want in a partner:

Sadly, physical attraction is very important to me. Bold from the dude who sees himself as ugly... :)
But, don't let that get in the way of shooting your shot. Low self-esteem is truly an awful thing. You may be entirely my type but you wouldn't think anyone wants you because of your self-esteem. Let the eye of the beholder be the judge. Please provide a photo when contacting me. I know, it is a bit selfish to ask to receive but not give one. I think it is better this way, as I don't want to hurt you by accidentally leading you on. When you take the photo, please have something identifiable in the photo that makes it be verifiable as authentic. Catfishers pound sand!
I would prefer you to be in NW Ohio or general Ohio, so we can hang out easily. You will have to travel to me though, as stated I have no means of travel outside of walking. But I am possibly open to LDR, but I wouldn't have confidence in the relationship from anxiety and having trust issues.
I don't really mind height, would prefer for you not to be taller than me, but not entirely out of the question. Would prefer you not to be heavy set, but I'm not looking for skeleton skinny. You could look somewhat plain or even look like an e-girl, or somewhere in-between.
I would like you to have similar interests to me, doesn't have to be 1 to 1 to my interests though. I find the odds of finding someone else into computers to my extent very low. I at least want to find someone who will tolerate it and find someone whom I can tolerate their interest like they would to me. I want to be able to have long conversations about stuff we both are interested in and be able to listen to each other and support each others other interests.
Do I care if you have Autism? Not at this time.
Do I care if you have mental issues? Really depends, but mostly no. Just don't be super high maintenance or in a state where you could cause my anxiety go crazy.
I would prefer you to be non-religious and be open to marijuana. I don't mind if you drink, as long as it isn't a problem. No current cigarette smokers though.
Perhaps we can go to Anime Conventions together? Bonus points if you cosplay.
Go thrifting with me?
No sex workers please! Past, Present, or Future. It is not for me, I wouldn't want my privates out there nor would I want a partner who has their privates out there. I have no issue with you as a person, it is just not for me, sorry. On top of that, please be monogamous too.
If you think you can handle this mess of a human, then reach out to me. Tell me about yourself! I want to hear your interests, your favorite things, and so on!

I dont know who will read this, but i just have to get this off my chest.
TL:DR at bottom
A bit of a backstory: I am 19 right now. 11 days from 20. During my life, i have had it all. The best family behind me anyone could ever ask for. They raised me well, gave me all the support and love humanly possible.
I grew up in an eastern european smalltown, been always above average, and slightly autistic at least, lets admit it. The typical gifted white suburban kid syndrome: never ever ran into problems during my life, everything seemd straight forward, always knew what i shold do with my life. During my blunder years, i have developed some pretty bad traits: a never had to struggle in my life for anything. Every single thing was handed to me on a silver plate. I really am just the luckiest person alive: always done well mentally, academically, and socially. Read the book once before when the teacher said put away your books, aced every exam still, after elementary(8 years here), got accepted to one of the best middle school of my country.
Experienced all the perks of middle school and the freedom of doing whatever the fuck you want during the stupidest years of your life, 15-19. And i did. Of course, procrastinating and not giving a fuck have not lifted me above average as in elementary, but i was still in the middle of the group. Again: everything others sweated blood for, handed to me on a silver plate. Straight goals in my life, stable personality, many friends, altough i still had my innocent nerdy kid persona, which was challenged majorly during the primal environment of a middle school coeducated dorm, but was never particularly bullied, countless friends and family, support and appreciation for who i was, altough i was just being as stupid as a middleschooler is.
Then covid came, and it somehow turned everything around. Not so many friends, no such concrete stable confidence, still being a lazy fucker who somehow lucked his way through everything. also during this time, i kinda started falling off, got into weed, not jsut alcohol, started going out and socialising less, falling off, but i had a great time, thinking about those times fondly, altough not so dearly. Rocked my way through the end exams of middle school with some last minute studying, i mean i absolutely still pulled from my little finger what others couldn't with teeth, tears and blood: got accepted into university as a dentist, still feeling like i am the top of the word.
During the last true summer break of my life, i started doing food delivery. 11:30am till 22-23:00 pm sometimes. During this time, the penjamin really took off in my country, weed being illegal but alternatives, such as Hexahidrocannabinol (HHC) being legal, available in a pen, just like an Elfbar: no neet to sneak out, to talk with the plug(some of you know arranging a meeting with those fuckers isnt as easy as it seems at all lmao), just getting high while laying in my bed. During this time, my weed addiction spiralled out of control, i got high every single night, this being my "well deserved downtime": just existing in my own little world in my bed, for 2 months. Those 4 years really did turned my personality to someone who isn't fit for a course that puts "Dr." in front of your name, this wil be important later.
Before the university, there is a social event hosted for us juniors called "junior camp", where you really are supposed to meet new people, and lay the basis of your entire uvicersity social life. And i took the penjamin(like 4th one in 2 months) with me. Now for those of you who dont know, weed can be a nice social drug, taken with moderation. If you get "schwasted, wake n baked" every day, the devils lettuce really puts you into your own world. No ambitions, no will to progress, just existing in your own little world, being fine as fuck with things as it is. Still had the best memory of my life though: being high as fuck in a water park they organised for us, literally youngsters in their prime, like 1500 of us, just being ourselves in the biggest pool party of the country. What i spent it doing: weed and cigarette breaks, taking slides, which literally felt like descending to hell, and walking around, aimlessly, not giving a fuck about the 1,5k people who came here to meet me and socialise, barely communicating with them, floating in my own world. This, and watching tje closing firework while being high are the best memories of my life until this day, guys if you can, take water slides and watch fireworks while being high, its definitely worth it.
And then came the first oath to myself that I've broken since then: that i will do a conversion of Paul, really focusing on the most important thing in my life: becoming a dentist, which is, besides helping people, is a ticket on first class to upper middle class, for someone from a bloodline of the poorest eastern european easants you can imagine. It takes 4 generations to break out of poverty, and i am the 4th. All the blood and sweat of my ancestors who worked their asses out, slaving away for the communist, them capitalist system, only for their kids to someday, amybe havve the chance i do hae right, now, and I am currently fucking up.
Now for those of you who dont know, university really is the most liberal form of education on the planet: you finally get your own timetable, the only mandatory attendance being the "practices", which you could just get through without putting anything on the table, and the lectures where they actually teach you university shit, not having a mandatory attendance, so who gives a fuck?
This gets us to the University: the first 2 weeks, i was being the typical student: al the lectures, learning from day to day, putting myself there in possibly the most alien environment i have ever been during my life. And turns out, i wasn't ready for the maturity and devotion a serious practice like dentistry takes. Man, i will literally be healing other people, everyones been to the dentist, and to get there, standing above your open mouth: Thats not something what is handed on a silver plate. No matter how smart, gifted, or special you think you are: this will only be achieved with tooth and nails. And i wasn't ready, not the slightest.
This is the point where i really started descending to the level of a fast food worker(no offence, which i was too): the first 3 months can be described with one word: Weed. no studying at all, just smoking that shit, feeling the buzz, it got to the point where i couldnt fall asleep without being hihg. Quite literally, i couldn'T imagine laying in bed, just...laying. IN november, i had it all came down on me, had a small breakdown, took the second oath i have broken: that i will change. This was the 11th of November, 2023
I cut back on weed, started attending lectures, realised that i have no fucking idea what the fuck are they talking about, so whats the point of attending? 3 more weks, sometimes begging to 5-6 different plugs, just to get my dose. Then came the so-called "exam period": where they excpt you to account for what you have "learned" during the "period of diligence". Of course, you can ace all your exams in literally 2 weeks, but for me, i was at diggind the foundation, while others were building the roof, already.
3rd oath: i will put my best, really gonna study my ass off for this one, having no plans whatsoever, just getting through somehow, like i always did. I think this is the time where i have made the first real steps towards maturity: admitting my parents that i havent done shit, and the chance of failure is around 90%. They gave me the encouragement i needed, realy got back on track, and pulled my first half year. So much so, that i got a study scholarship: 13k HUF, 36 USD/month, lower middle class scholarship, but still, that meant im in the top 10 percent of students. Yet again, by partying all yer, doing everything in the last moments.
4th oath: after these few weeks of hell, i will really put myself there, study as the year goes along, being ready and up-to*date with everything. Like the adult i am
For 1 week, this really worked out. studies for hours every day, being with my "new friends": fellow dental students, whom i had a really good start with, but now, arent really close pals. They have had a complete change, a real 180 in their life: being out in a new environment, gangs and friend groups really started forming, and i was there sometimes, having a blast with them, but you know: not really a part of the gang, just the chill, stoner, pretty stupid streets dude, never being up to date, never really giving a serious fuck about them, still smoking weed and drinking with my old middleschool friends. They naturally started inviting me less and less, and slowly fell into the group of a workplace friend, who you really dont just meet after work, you know. Now this might just be my insecurity speaking, i literally have a 2 week vacation fixated with them to the beaches of Croatia, but yeah, just a chill dude whos around sometimes, not *the gang*
And then came the wrost 6 weeks of my life. During my all afternoon studying sessions, i started noticing a slight tingling in my legs and feet, and my visual snow, which ive always had for some degree, starting putting itself into second gear. I even jokingly told one of my friends who happened to study with me: "Man, i might have gotten some real nerve damage from all the weed and fake penjamins, a-ha-ha".
During the next few days, hell unfolded: imagine the worst kind of buzzing, not the gentle weed buzzingm but a genuinely alarming one, an impending sense of doom, and pretty serious unvellness: during an anatomy lecture about the cranial nerves. Figured a snus might help: stuffed a Killa cold mint(european snus is generally stronger than Zyn, this particular one being 4times as strong as the stongrst Zyn, and its still pretty mid in eastern europe lmao). Hell broke loose. If you are familiar with trip reports, i have went trhough something very similar to a bad trip, almost had to run out of the lecture, in front of the teacher and 60 of my classmates beceuse i genuinely thought im gonna die. Went out after surbibing the lecture, ambling around for 2 hours, walking to a pharmacy 45 minutes away and back, speaking with my parents, being in a complete panic which just made things worse.
This went on for a week, then i got to the doctor. The anatomy practice was always the low point: the best teacher of the institute explaining how a human body works, and i was shaking in a corner, not falling into the deepest panic attack i have ever had was taking up all my energy. Drumming with my leg,s counting the tiles on the floor again and again, not paying attention about some of the most important words ever said to me in my life. Went to the doctor that friday finally, and got good words that i am really studying anatomy, i must have known that the innervation of the top of the limbs and and the feet are completely different, so my CNS works just fine, but im describing the most common symptoms of stress induced anxiety. Also told him about my ever worsening visual snow: imagine those old TV-s who had no signal, and displayed what we called "ant football". That is my life, especially when i look at the sky, which was a thing i admired dearly: The giant cloud, not abstructed by any mountain, flowing, and ever changing, still are the most beautiful thing for me, compared with the mind.blowing sunsets we have here, in the great plains. Being robbed of that put me even deeper. The 75mg pregabalin i got described, once a day and night, havent done anything at all. INstead, they amplified my brain fog, the tingling and buzzling, and the feeling of looming dread. I havent known this at the time, so sometimes i took my daily two before the anatomy sessions, which made them truly like hell. Having to walk out multiple times in a span of 1,5 hours of the lesson, just to simply breathe. If someone closed the door of the dissecting room, all hell broke loose, i couldn't breathe. I was bumping into people on the way there and back, being so disoriented due to basically being drugged. Talked about my mother about this, she went through literally the same hell, while attempting university, just like his brother, my Godfather, who was a border guard during the East-German refugee crysis, having to shoot live munition centimeters in front of the feet of pregnant women during the fall of the iron courtain. And this was a true and horrific mental breakdown, a literal *Idegösszeomlás*, akai burnout
So long story short: missed the most crucial 8 weeks of the semester, where we were told in the beginning: if you miss a week, you are done for. The last parts of the period of diligence were spent studying like hell, with my symptoms greatly improvving: attended parties with the dentist gang, smoked weed again, and just laid the foundations for the period of exams, actually studying like hell, like i always wanted to, AND I STILL ACED IT, but with the looming over me the sword of damocles.
Now thinking back, i could've made it. I really cold have. I still can. I completed every single subject i could in the diligence period, cell biology being the hardest, I barely passed that subject with a "2", basically a B-, this will be very important later. The last exam date is at the 7th of july, but with 6 weeks for only the anatomy, and basically the chemistry of 5 years, thats should be enough, eh? Yeaahh, yet another broken oath, spent a week doing nothing, weed, youtube, and old friends, while everyone leraned their asses off. Started learning too, and i took it seriously. But any students, you know how it is:

alarm set at 7:30 am.
10 minutes of snooze, every single day, the next time i wake up more rested than i should have been after 10 minutes, i check the clock, 8:50AM.
Awesome, get out of bed and shower. Check the time again: 11AM.
Cool, the whole day ahead of me. Just a siiiingle youtube video, while i pass the morning fatigue and the rapid morning hearthbeat of 5 years of chainsmoking, yet another amazing dedication of my life.
Then its 12AM, time to dinner! Post dinner fatigue is exactly a 30min video, 12:30PM, imma begin studying.
Next time i look at the clok, its 14:27. I really lock in until 6pm, then my parents cone home. I talk with them for what feels like 20-25 minutes.
Look at the clock again. 20:21PM. How the fuck did the whole fucking day passed again? i truly lock in for the rest of the day
23:35, i can't anymore. Starting to watch trash streams on youtube, braincells dying every second
Time spent with studying: 2-3 hours.
Every. Single. Fucking. Day.

Then i got the worst news i have ever gotten
Decided to check into the E-uni managament system of my country. "You have an offered grade, you can accept it *here*. Click link. "you can't accept, you have an exam applification of this subject". So this was the first semester where they made the application to the different exams at different dates open at March instead of the end of May, so students can "pre-plan their whole semester", the backstory of this is some uni drama equal in lenght of this post *hungarian text-* (Akinek esetleg volt dolga a Debreceni Egyetem Anatómiai-, Szövet-, és Fejlődéstani intézetével, az pontosan tudja miről beszélek lmao, a többiek úgysem értenék, H***igeci),
So, remember about my offered grade about cell biology? Wel, you have to accept it, because it LITERALLY MEANS THEY OFFERED IT AND YOU CAN DECLINE IT, this is stragiht up ez shit, of course who was the hero, who forgot to do this 5 seconds thing? My pretty faced self. All the while having an exam booked for the 28th of may, which obviously had passed, and i jsut realized this now, because the university e-administration site, which you should check every day for like 10 times, havent been opened by me for a month. And in my country, no matter what grade you get offered, if you take an exam and dont attend, thats automatically a failure overwriting literally any grade you had before. And i really put in the work. Really did got the offered grade, which means 55% on 2 intersemester exams, which both of them are hell. And all undone because im too fucking lazy and stupid to open a fucking website. Because i havent declined the offered grade, and this is the first year they implemented the early exam booking, i still have hope that the email i have written towards Students affairs will have an effect, and i will be able to accept the offered grade. We are talking about a subject where if you do have to take the exam, there is a 90% failure rate. 90. fucking. percent. I have 1 month to learn the Central Nervous System(at least i know that mostly by now), and the complete human body as it is from the shoulders upwards, embriology, histology of the semester, and 1 ENTIRE YEAR of university level chenistry. Im fucked already as it is, cell biology by itself would take 3 weeks of no life learning JUST TO HAVE A CHANCE, which i have completed, and willingly, and ignorantly have thrown away.
What happens if i fail? Well, the state pays 12 active and 3 passive semester. The course is 10 semesters, so i can passivate and then retry, and still have a chance like this once more, before falling out of State Sponsored Scholarship. A semester is 1,3 million HUF, 5 months on minimum wage if you dont eat, sleep, and save 100%. PER SEMESTER. So the world wont collapse, buti would lose everyone i met during university, dropping to a class of strangers, being the failed kid, so laying the path from the best kinda uni life to the worst, in terms of connections and social life. My family knows about my mental health, even my conserative KGB grandparents are very supportive, but i wouldn't be able to stand the shame myseelf.
Had an eye watering hours long convo with a genuine friend about my life, and that made me realise im still aint shit, things reall have to change. this is why im typing this, mainly for my own self. As the first page of a diary im planning on starting, to never forget the feeling of being in the literal bottom right now. I dont except anyone to read this, idk why im even posting this, i dont even except any advice, but ofc if you have made it this far, thank you for dwelving into the life of a hungarian smalltown trash, hope you can learn
Not gonna reread this fucking yapping, sry for the typos and language, english isn't my first one
So this was it guys, my Magnum Opus of literature, the biggest yapping session of my life so far. Still spent 1,5 hours typing this even on my pc, instead of studdying, on 1,5mg alprazolam(xanax benzo), about to smoke a jo. Yet another broken oath
TL:DR: Failed to mature up for a hardcore branch of university, and a silly mistake will destroy my entire semester, and im still not studying, typing this

I'm sure we've all had our fair share of encounters with customer's who have been misled in one way or another by someone in our industry. Sometimes this will be techs who BS the customer for one reason or another, or it will be sales people who make dishonest claims about what a service will accomplish.
E.g from personal experience: - "The last guy who serviced my property said not to smash the roaches because it will attract more roaches." - "Your sales person told me that this general pest control service will also cover for mosquitoes, flies, and termites. What do you mean I paid a $300 initial for exterior foundations and interior baseboards?" - "The last guy said your company wasn't going to refill the rodent boxes anymore because they attract rodents to the property." - "The last guy said the spray was organic and safe for my graden, kids, and pets." (The product in question was Onslaught FastCap 💀) - "The salesperson said we could get this bed bug infestation under control with this one time service."
Even better is when the "other guy" in question is your coworker who says just wrong things straight to your face.

• "It's OK to grab the plunger of the B&G with your bare hands. Insecticides aren't that toxic." (My manager at the time showing newer techs how to do something with the B&G, can't recall what)

After almost 9 years in the industry, I've heard my fair share of weird stuff said by competition as well my own coworkers sometimes. I'm sure there's more wild things I've heard that just won't come to mind for me at the moment.
What kind of bizarre claims made by other so-called PMP's have you run into while talking with your customers? Has a coworker ever said something outlandish to your face with complete confidence?

~Part 3 Luna Baby~
A woman like Chang’e lived on a moon. Far away.
You can refer to me as Luna Baby.
At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with a severe nerve pain condition. It is called trigeminal neuralgia but you can call it TN for ease.
I was frustrated. I had completed a degree in international finances from Chongqing University of Business and Technology. The boom of the economy was not the same. There was an urge to “lay flat”—to not try as a form of opposition to everything going on in a waning economy in China.
All are elephants chained for an audience. People love to peek and stare as though they are glass doors without hinges—to be made feel useless.
I developed TN at the age of 19, and was now 22. It came as an arrow, and quite literally to the face. It’s a rare nerve pain disorder often considered one of the most painful conditions known.
The illness involves intense nerve pain throughout the left side of my face. It felt like someone was trying to pull all of the teeth on the left side of my face without anesthesia. The pain can leave me falling to the floor unable to speak or move while screaming profanities while choked by pain. A feeling of a knife to my face over and over again. It leaves me in absolute shock. Like Roman candles to the face. An absolute hindrance. The anticipation of not knowing when it will happen again is a nightmare at times.
The disease is often called the suicide disease, apparently up to 26% try to take their lives. In a state of panic during one of the nerve attacks I began swallowing any pill near to me. I went to the hospital to have my stomach pumped when I was found comatose by my mother.
I want to be Chang’e and on the moon and away from a world I have had enough of.
Gossip spread around the workplace that I attempted suicide over an affair with a married man. There was too much guilt to return to the workplace. COVID did have an impact to the economy. I still remember my hometown having dirt and trees piled onto the exits and entrances to the city keep people in their places.
The work I did find felt beneath me. China has what is called the great firewall that keeps something in and out of the country’s networks. A VPN was necessary to access American TikTok as it was used as opposed to the Chinese version.
Feels humiliating the nature of the outcome for me—I gave up in many ways like so many Chinese youth. For work I would go to a local office building. Amongst a long hall would be rooms for live stream performers. I would entertain with watchers while trying to obtain virtual gifts for actual money. I despised it—sometimes the conversation could be funny or interesting but it felt hollow.
I would paint flowers on my face and wear hanfu clothing while doing ASMR. Competing in battles while dress cute and facing off with others. I would encourage and flatter those that send virtual gifts that could be exchanged for gifts. I would message and ask for WeChat account numbers to talk to them and I would be an emotional prostitute pretending to love and be interested in them for the hopes of more gifts. Methods of manipulation would be used as in begging, guilt tripping a viewer, and love bombing them. Often middle aged men would pretend to be the female host.
I had a mind of sparklers burning until it burnt and stung like wax—like I had the option to stop and cry and those tears stuck as wax and burnt or I soldiered on and grew accustomed to the pain. I was an elephant chained. The audience watched and interacted with me on the live. I was a chained elephant when it was found out about my previous attempt and when the rumors spread.
Too many thorns in life. Nails hitting at the wrong points like an equation for something terrible to eventually happen—a life set to end in misery—a fate.
My favorite dish was Henan noodles. I often cooked it with my mom. It provides great memories of childhood. I hadn’t talked to my mother as much as before. She moved to a job in Taiyuan.
Sometimes I would go up to visit her. But it was harder as she worked more and more hours. Sometimes voids build even when going through extreme nerve pain. And with trigeminal neuralgia, the pain was so intense that I would freeze and scream in pain. It cannot always be hid. It made me an elephant tethered.
Life can be like a pressure like no other. Too much stress. Makes one feel irritable with a mouth like a sprinkler of napalm when someone is too close. Life feels like a lit fire cracker held—in the end it would tear my hand up. Things kept building while the other side of my face began to hurt too recently. This was rare and not so common. My eyesight was becoming blurry too and it seemed I might have multiple sclerosis as the pain was on both side, it was not common for my age, and the blurry eyesight. An appointment was scheduled and I felt terrified to know what was going on and wondered if it was best to not even know my health.
I walked out of the studio and had a cigarette. My boss came out and joined to talk. He was concerned about view count and wanted me to do things to increase it that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a few comments I found incentive.
The boss sure liked to criticize and apply pressure. He was not impressed with my work and thought I could do something different. In China an application is used called WeChat. This application has many uses. People can display and share moments like a Facebook wall, message each other, send money, video chat, and even has a feature to find people near to you who are also looking for people near to them. I was to attract people onto dates. The idea was they would be lured in and the men would go to a set destination to a planned tea house that served snacks. When the men arrived (they had no knowledge of the setup) the bill would be at an absurd rate and if the men refused to pay larger men would use their size to force them to pay up.
I was not sure at the time yet if I wanted the job. Being worried about ethics and safety. It was something I would have to think about.
My medical expenses were growing and I knew the nerve disease could be expensive to treat with surgery. All I had was thoughts while looking at the moon.

~Final~
Easily happy fooling ourselves.
Something unusual happened as thoughts transplanted and I became more aware of everything around me. Luna Baby and the girl made of paper were identical twins disconnected.
I’m from Luoyang in Henan but work in a city further away in Zhengzhou. I am a migrant worker. Always missing my wife as I grow distant from her. Our seven year old daughter Leina goes to school and lives with my mother in law who helps to raise her. My wife Ai works at a factory in Guangzhou. In China there is something called the huko system. It is a government official book that shows the family and ties them to a city and region. Somebody cannot receive access to government help such as public education.
I had the feeling and paranoia my wife must be seeing someone else amongst her loneliness in Guangzhou. The feelings at me up.
I worked at a factory for Foxconn (Taiwanese owned)—the largest facility was in Zhengzhou where they built the iPhone—a symbol of capitalism—a symbol to distract ourselves from ungodliness and discontent. Deceive ourselves to be happy. Vampires of society suck us dry on screens. I’m unhappy.
Are you just like me?
To escape from suffocating from worries I look Luna baby while smoking hashish. Send her gifts to make a hole in me. Then I get to be happy. Life gets into a routine m, swim or drown—when I get bored I get unhappy.
Being alienated as a worker with no family or support around me. It makes me weak. Weak like so many things I noticed in Henan.
The yellow river through the city looked like something that could eat the weak—crumble like buildings built quickly only to be empty. I had colleagues who went to the banks to find there was no money they pull out. Everyone felt uneasy. Just like when COVID had broken out. It also made us all in the city feel weak and uneasy like stilts in sand. Tractors dropped rocks and trees on the exits from the city. We could not leave even if we wanted to.
The sickle and hammer worked to use violence to make the working class to keep making the iPhone. It felt Beijing hated Henan. I felt distant from elites like I was to my wife. I could smell a flooding coming.
Our phones had to carry COVD Identification. If somebody had a green dot it meant to COVID or contact with others with COVID. Red meant that one was considered a contact and needed to be isolated and couldn’t be out. When people were upset with the collapse of local banks they went to the banks in protest. Before plain clothes police of the communist party came and use violence against the working class, protestors had their codes turned to red to force them to shut up and kept isolated from home to not be a nuisance.
Discontent grew under the baton of the party. People were welded into their apartments if the apartment building had cases. One building apartment had burned down and everyone died inside as they were trapped in the confines of the apartment.
I felt barricaded in the factory. We were not getting our allowances and we were being forced to stay amongst our rooms with those positive with the virus. Virus was becoming like a baton to beat us. Like kettles of corn we began to pop in our dormitories. We began to feel discontent and corned within the premises of the factory. I can smell rain like my mind knows flood waters are coming. There is a myth in China called the heavens mandate—a sort of supernatural belief. It is considered import in China to respect authority figures in our lives—this includes parents to leaders of the country—but if things fall apart or if there are natural disasters, it is indicative that heaven wants the people to replace the leader—it is a time to revolt and make demands. It felt like one of those times.
I was amongst the chaos. In the yard of the factory where men in white hazmat suits came with metals poles to clash with the workers.
The speakers were set up by police and security and the workers had speakers too, echoing back at each other like a badminton match.
Luna Baby was on her phone far away like Chang’e on the moon.

My region is EU, some keys might be locked to this zone. Games are leftovers from fanatical and humble bundles. I will send only keys. Currently I'm not looking for Choice or primegaming games.
Games that I have for trade:

• 3000th Duel

A + Abzu + Afterparty + Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo + Aliens vs. Predator™ Collection + Alien Colonial Marines Collection + Aliens: Fireteam Elite (LATAM+NA+JP) + Amnesia: Rebirth + Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs + Arcade Paradise + Asterix & Obelix XXL: Romastered + Autonauts Vs Piratebots + AVICII Invector + A Juggler's Tale
B + Back 4 Blood (EU) + Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition + Battlestar Galactica Deadlock Season One + Beholder 2 + Bendy and the Dark Revival + Bendy and the Ink Machine + Between the Stars + Bionic Commando + Bionic Commando Rearmed + Blood Rage: Digital Edition + Book of Demons + Broken Age + Brothers a Tale of Two Sons
C + Calico + Call of the Sea + Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues + Chivalry: Medieval Warfare + Children of Silentown + Close to the Sun + Code Vein + Coromon + Creaks + Crying Suns
D + Dark Deity + Dicey Dungeons + Dear Esther: Landmark Edition + DmC: Devil May Cry + Devil May Cry HD Collection + Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen + Dread X Collection + Dread X Collection 2 + Dread X Collection 3 + Driftland: The Magic Revival + Dungeons 2 - Complete Edition + Dungeons 3
E + Endless Space 2 + Eternal Threads + Evan's Remains + Expeditions: Viking
F + Fae Tactics + Fallback: Uprising + Fallout 76 + Fallout 1 + FAR: Lone Sails + Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel + Fort Triumph + Full Throttle Remastered + Fury Unleashed
G + Going Under + Grid Autosport + Grim Fandango Remastered + GRIME + GRIP: Combat Racing + Artifex Car Pack + GYLT
H + HACK/G.U. LAST RECODE + Hell Pie + Hue
I + Ikenfell + Indivisible + Iron Danger
K + Katamari Damacy Reroll + Kao the Kangaroo (2000 re-release) + Kingdom Two Crowns + Kitaria Fables
L + LEGO The Hobbit + Lost Words: Beyond the Page + LOTR: Adventure Card Game - Definitive Edition + Lust for Darkness
M + Magrunner: Dark Pulse + Maid of Sker + Meeple Station + Mega Man Legacy Collection + Moon Hunters + Morbid: The Seven Acolytes + Mordhau + Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate + Monster Slayers + Mutazione
N + Naruto To Boruto: Shinobi Striker + Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl + Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix + Nihilumbra + Not For Broadcast
O + Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty + Oddworld: Soulstorm Enhanced Edition + Of Orcs and Men + OlliOlli World + Orcs Must Die! 2 + Out of Space
P + Papo & Yo + Pathway + Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition + Pathologic 2 + PC Building Simulator + Popup Dungeon + Project Warlock
R + Radio Commander + Regions Of Ruin + Ring of Pain + Riptide GP2 + River City Girls + Road Redemption + Roadwarden + Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos + Rustler
S + Say No! More + Shantae: Half-Genie Hero Ultimate Edition + Shantae and the Pirate's Curse + Sense - 不祥的预感: A Cyberpunk Ghost Story + Severed Steel + Shady Part of Me + Shift Happens + Shotgun King (EU) + Sigma Theory: Global Cold War + Sine Mora EX + SkyDrift + Skullgirls 2nd Encore + Small World + 3 DLCs: Be Not Afraid DLC, Cursed DLC, Grands Dames + Splendor + The Strongholds, The Cities DLCs + Soulstice + Songbringer + SuchArt + Soul Axiom Rebooted + Spiritfarer Farewell Edition + STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic + STAR WARS Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords + Steel Rats + Steel Vampire + Strange Brigade + Strider + Styx: Master of Shadows + Styx: Shards of Darkness + Sigma Theory: Global Cold War + Supraland
T + TEKKEN 7 + This War of Mine + Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt + Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove + Toki + Turbo Golf Racing + Twin Mirror + The Beast Inside + The Dark Pictures: Man of Medan + The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos + The Invisible Hand + The Red Lantern + The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
U + Ultra Street Fighter IV + Unavowed + Void Bastards
W + Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector + Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War + Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach + Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf + WARSAW + Wandersong + White Day: A Labyrinth Named School + We. The Revolution + Wizard of Legend + Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair
Rockstar launcher key: + Max Payne 3
Some games that I want:

• Astebreed Definitive Edition
• Clash: Artifacts of Chaos
• Ether Vapor Remaster
• GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon Deluxe
• Huntdown
• Quake 4
• Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection
• Nine Parchments
• Suffer the Night
• Syrian Warfare Deluxe
• Trine 2
• Turbo Overkill
• When The Past Was Around

IGS Rep

TW: Anxiety, depression, (my?) stupidity, bad luck and creepy encounter with a person?
I (32F) dunno if he'll see this but I'm sorry to the poor guy who just heard my stupid breakdown on the phone about a stupid catch-22 I've been caught in today with ALDImobile. I've just had an absolute shit cunt of a time and this stupid situation just really hit me hard and my mental health is just absolutely stuffed
My phone was stolen on Thursday afternoon, was having stupid mental health issues with my depression and I tried that " go for a mental health walk". Someone stole it during the walk, I don't know how it was inside my bag, zipped up, the next minute I realised my handbag was unzipped, thought it fell out but no sign on it. bad timing universe.
I'm devastated about losing all my photos, videos, the last 2 weeks of photo evidence of my stupid CRPS worker's comp injury, my e-scripts for medication that I need to get refilled, all my contacts for the past 10 years some of which I don't have any other way to share a new number to, etc etc. lots of angry crying and frustrations over losing something, at least I found my medicare card on the road.
Yesterday, I Went to my local police station to report my phone as stolen, buzzed the bell, and waited about 15 minutes with some guy as old as my dad trying to talk to me but all I could make out was mumbles, I just acknowledged he talked by saying "much warmer in here outta the rain aye mate?" to do that polite chitchat that older people seem to request when we are in public, its fine, we are just waiting in the police station lobby for some cop to show up at the desk, old man kept talking but I couldn't understand anything so I just turned back towards the desk and then an officer appeared. He took my report while this old guy stood about a metre away still mumbling things.
The Report was made, I exited the police station and headed to my car, realized the old man was following behind me still mumbling to me, walking in the same direction as my car, on a phone call that was on the home screen? Okay, panic alert, I think I quickly gotta try to loop back to the police station as I do not want to reach my car at the same point as this random old man, I'll just go back inside and call out to the officer and make up a stupid reason to talk to him for a moment.
Stupid dislocating kneecap issue stopping me from being fast, as he's heading towards me I decide okay, this isn't what I think it is. I am overreacting. He's just a person on the phone, I'm just being nervous and worrying for no reason. I'll do a firm polite chitchat of how I've had a bad day and just want to go home, have a good day. bye. etc, literally 10 seconds, polite but firm boundary setting of this is the end of our interaction sir bye. rushed to the car, praying to any bloody god that I don't slip in the rain and my kneecap takes me out during my stupid anxiety filled panic attack.
I went home. Went on FB to tell my relatives about the phone and this old man is MESSAGING ME ON FACEBOOK. Um okay... he's just trying to help me get my phone back by trying to tell me to turn the location on, something that wasn't working that I already tried using Googles find my device. okay. I'm like I'll respond then just casually never respond to him ever again. Suddenly he was sending super inappropriate messages about my body, I was just like "Nope we ain't doing this" and went to block him, but he responded "I know" before I could click the block button. made me feel sick in my stomach.
I had been crying most of the night, currently recovering from the flu and a nerve block procedure, painful nerve pain flare up the night before, hair full of knots tied back, track pants that I had been wearing for 2 days, an old oversized jumped, I literally had sleep crust still in my eyes i had just gotten out of bed and taken my child to school then went straight to the police station. What about me said please send me, a stranger old enough to be your daughter weird messages about my body?
I was so angry but then I realised, He was there when I made the police report, he knows my name, he knows my address, he found me on Facebook to send me these messages but I blocked him. Stupid anxiety chewing up my brain all night, barely any sleep, stupid anxiety thoughts telling me there is a risk of him showing up at my house as it is nearby the police station, shit. Doors always stay locked so nothing to worry about right? Just be more observant of your surroundings.
Now today Since I got paid I went to get a replacement SIM card from ALDImobile, secretly feeling like bloody Spongebob running to the dumpster behind the crusty crab at night from the graveyard shift episode on the inside. Busy morning rush, high stress but I can do this, just get the stupid sim card and milk. waited in line to check out but the lines weren't moving so I went to the brand new self-serve checkout, quickly went home to activate the sim.
Problem number 1, there was no activation code on my receipt so I had to go back to Aldi and ask can I have the code, please. The Aldi workers were confused as to how I was able to purchase the sim through the self serve as it shouldn't be allowed, iunno man they are your machines and it just went through, but the manager was a champ and replaced the sim for me so i could get the activation code printed out. went home and continued the activating process
Problem number 2, I was not able to transfer my previous number to the new sim card without using the code SMS'd TO THE STOLEN PHONE. the thief aint gonna help Aldi.
I called aldimobile and the first lady completely just could not understand English enough for us to be able to properly communicate, she couldn't understand what I was asking and actually kept saying I was currently calling from my previous number when I had tried to activate the sim card to make this call. I was like shit maybe I'm the idiot and she's right, I said if that is true i do apologize for being a stupid idiot, i called someone until they answered to get a confirmation. I have a new number.
Called ALDImobile again to request I get my old number back, both numbers are on my account, i have passed security questions but no my number cannot be transferred to this new sim card, i will have to purchase a third sim card, easy right? easy if you haven't already chosen to go without a food item this week to get the 2nd sim card. There are no payphones near me that are still in working order and i dont exactly feel comfortable with asking random people if I can use their phone to call aldi mobile at this point due to creepy old man.
Stupid catch-22 of needing an activated sim card to call to let Aldi know they have a fault in their system of it sending an SMS to a stolen phone being the only option to do a number transfer, today i should have just gone with a different provider to begin with but i totally didn't expect that stupid fuck around of a week, I just need my number back. I'm sad and tired.

DAY: JUNE 7 2024
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the risks of cosmetic dentistry are nothing to smile about

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New approach could reduce diabetes complications

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6-7-2024

Neuroscientists map brain pathways for learning from negative feedback

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Testing gait to help in early diagnosis of neurodegenerative disease

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Young people may see more than 20 alcohol ads per hour on social media, research finds

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Exercise timing conundrum: Optimal workout timing

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6-7-2024

Study finds home health aides struggle with mental health

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6-7-2024

FDA rescinds ban on Juul e-cigarettes

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6-7-2024

Smart monitoring of test subjects is the future of clinical research, says data scientist

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6-7-2024

Unlocking another piece of the Parkinson’s puzzle—scientists reveal workings of vital molecular switch

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6-7-2024

Patented technology uses curcumin for potent inhibitory effects on the development of food allergy

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Women have a higher genetic risk for PTSD, study finds

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6-7-2024

Texas rancher develops anthrax from butchered lamb meat

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6-7-2024

Scientists say bioengineering will change our ability to research and treat cancer

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6-7-2024

Researchers tie higher county-level prostate cancer screening to better outcomes

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6-7-2024

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6-7-2024

Lifestyle changes may slow or prevent Alzheimer’s in people at high risk

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6-7-2024

Study identifies potential pathway to reducing breast cancer brain metastases

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What’s going on in our brains when we plan? Study uncovers how mental simulations rely on stored memories

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6-7-2024

Study reveals brown fat’s role in protecting blood sugar metabolism

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Heavy cannabis use linked to CVD mortality in women

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Study finds animal empathy differs among men

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So long story short, my wife (35F) and I (31M) have been trying to create separation between us, her two kids from another marriage (5f and 7m), and her nparents (59m and idfkF). FIL is the stereotypical Jekyl and Hyde dude and always has to create division amongst the family by creating a villain out of anyone who calls him out on his ab*sive behavior.
Such behaviors: * Accusing others of his own toxic behaviors * Conning people into borrowing their vehicles and then disregarding all rules about borrowing it (i.e. refill the gas, no smoking, keep it clean) * contributing nothing toward bills but complaining that everyone gets a free ride * forcing my wife to pay for his cigarettes/coffee/food * leaving dangerous objects accessible to the kiddos * undermining my wife's parenting
FIL was continually using her car and abusing it so she asked me to put my foot down which I did. FIL went off on a narcissistic tirade about "get a new babysitter, take him to karate, take him to baseball, etc... which lol Okay we did all of that so far and the kids have been much better behaved (progress was shown after 3mo), less prone to ignore my wife's directions, and their physical health has improved exponentially. I'm not saying I'm solely responsible but my SS respects me and actively calls Dad whereas my FIL used to talk negatively of me to him which negated any and all attempts at bonding. Now SS is as close to me as I am with my own son.
So how do I handle if it he starts a tirade?? Obviously I'm not going to fist fight him unless he gets physical himself. But what can I do to shut him up?

PHASE 0

Hailey walked across campus to the Wharton Duct Library and noticed another student walking in the same direction wearing a white top with an iguana on front.
"I like your shirt," Hailey said. The girl smiled at her.
"Thanks, I have a pet iguana back home. His name is Crest," she said. "My name is Abby Cess."
"Nice to meet you," Hailey said. "I'm Hailey, Hailey Tosis."
"How's dorm life treating you?" Abby asked as they continued their walk.
"Alright. I'm really excited that the Buy-N-Bolt just off campus has all my favorite snacks," Hailey said, unzipping her bag and showing off how it was filled with bubble gum & dr pepper & fudge donuts & kit kats & oreos & sour twizzlers & tootsie roll & twinkies.
"Nice. They have my favorite too!" Abby said, slipping a small box out of her back pocket. A pack of Marlbolo Scope. Hailey smiled with temptation.

EVENT NOTE...Whisper Only

For this event, you can only submit WHISPERS. No Teeth Actions can occur. No Cavities will be given this phase, but if the comment count doesn't reach equal to 5 comments per living Tooth, Hailey won't be able to resist her cigarette tomorrow.
This event is OPTIONAL. Failure to submit a whisper will NOT result in any strikes.

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