CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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An hour after getting back from the Mason apartment, Bruce Kenner had the distinct misfortune of meeting Bertha Henderson.
A plump, gaudy woman with wrinkles and sun beaten skin only an alligator could love, Bertha Henderson wore bright red lipstick, bright red rouge, and way too much mascara. Her tangled hair was a dull red color and her clothes - pink pants and a white floral top - stretched tight across her bulbous frame. She looked like the kind of woman who lived in a trailer with velvet pictures of Elvis on the wall and pink flamingos in the front yard.
She acted like one too.
From the moment she stormed into his office, she hadn’t shut up once. She scolded, chided, accused, and badgered, sometimes even wagging one fat finger in his face like he was a naughty little boy. Ten minutes into the dressing down and Bruce was beginning to fantasize about police brutality.
It took him another ten minutes to find out what the hell she even wanted.
“It’s my granddaughter,” she shot back, “she’s missing in your town.”
My town? Lady, this is barely my office. I share it with three other people.
“Well, if you’ll calm down, maybe I can help.”
Jesus Christ was that the wrong thing to say. She hit the roof and didn’t come down again until Bruce was this close to arresting her for assault on a police officer. “Young man, I do not appreciate the way you’re talking to me. My tax dollars are the only reason you have a job. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be working at a car wash.”
At least I wouldn’t have to deal with you.
Bruce took a deep breath and held his tongue in check. “How can I help you?” he asked.
“I told you, my granddaughter is missing. If you listened to me, you’d know this already.”
Bertha produced a picture and slid it across the desk. Bruce studied it. A girl, roughly sixteen with black hair, blue eyes, and dimples smiled back at him. “She;’s with that Rossi man, I just know it,” she said bitterly.
“Who?” Bruce asked.
Rolling her eyes like he was stupid, the old woman told him the story. Jessie - the dimple faced girl - had the rotten luck of having to live with Grandma Bertha after her parents went to jail on drug charges. They lived in Sand Lake, a little town in the mountains outside Albany, where Bertha was no doubt loved and admired by all. One day, Jessie, who her grandmother lovingly described as “A little troublemaker”, ran off. Bruce didn’t blame her. He’d known Bertha for half an hour and he wanted to run off. Bertha did some snooping on Jessie’s laptop and found that the “little whore” had been chatting with an older man, Joe Rossi. Rossi, or so Facebook said, lived in Albany and worked at Club Vlad.
“I want him arrested for pedophilia,” Bertha said and crossed her arms defiantly over her chest. “He’s a dog just like all men. She’s probably pregnant already. Another mouth I have to feed.”
Behind the old battle ax, Vanessa appeared in the doorway and lifted her brows as if to say What a piece of work. Knowing her, she’d probably been standing just out of sight this whole time with McKenny, the elderly evidence clerk, and snickering into her hand like a little girl. LOL she called him young man.
Bertha noticed him looking over her shoulder and started to turn. Vanessa’s face went white and she ducked out of the way, narrowly avoiding detection. “I’m glad you think this is funny,” Bertha said to Bruce. “Meanwhile, if I don’t get Jessie back, the state’s going to stop sending me my checks. I need that income. I can’t work, you know. I have gout.”
Too bad being an asshole isn’t a job, you’d be world-famous
“I’ll go talk to him,” Bruce said.
“I want more than talk, young man, I want action.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
When Bertha finally decided to waddle off and ruin someone else’s day, Vanessa came in and sat in the chair the old woman had so recently occupied. “Oh, my God,” she said, “that was intense. I was this close to radioing in a 1015.”
1015 was code for officer down.
“Funny,” Bruce said without a trace of humor. He had kids going missing, a dead guy someone moved around like a goddamn Barbie doll, and now this. What next, hemorrhoids?
“What do you think? Code 1 or code 2?”
Code 1 meant top priority. Code 2 meant not a top priority. Bruce thought for a moment. It didn’t sound like Jessie Henderson was in danger. It sounded like she met a guy - granted, one too old for her - and decided to hide out with him from her psycho grandma. Maybe it could be something more, but he had a gut feeling that it wasn’t…and his gut feelings were usually right. “2,” he finally said. “I got shit to do.”
By shit, he meant “Talk to the families of those missing boys again.” He’d been interviewing them for two days looking for clues, but there was nothing. It’s like they just vanished. Bruce didn’t like this. He didn’t like it at all.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” Vanessa said and slapped the desk.
When she was gone, Bruce sighed.
Never a dull moment, he thought.
***
Ed Harris - no relation to the Hollywood actor - had been the medical examiner for the City of Albany since 2002, and in all that time, he had never seen anything quite like this.
It was Wednesday evening and Ed was locked away in the cold, sterile space beneath the city offices that comprised his domain. With its puke green tiles, harsh lights, and cloying smells of disinfectant, the .coroner's office creeped most people out, but not Ed. He was at home here, as comfortable surrounded by toe-tagged bodies as a cactus was surrounded by desert. A thin man in his fifties with curly, steel gray hair thinning in the middle, he wore a white smock, blood stained over his clothes that made him look like a butcher instead of a low level government functionary. He had a dark and dry sense of humor, but then again, so do all people who play with dead bodies for fun and profit.
The coroner’s office was a vast, utilitarian vault segmented into multiple different rooms. Here, where the magic happened, three stainless steel tables stood in a row; a bank of refrigerated drawers kept watch, making sure nothing funny happened. One of the cold fluorescent lights overhead flickered with a hum of electricity, and water dripped rhythmically from a faucet. It was a cold, eerie place, but to Ed, it was home.
On most nights, only one of the tables was occupied, but tonight, two were. On one lay an old lady who died of what appeared to be cyanide poisoning. On the other was Dominick Mason.
Naked save for a white cloth draped over his groin to protect his dignity, Dom was the most corpsy corpse you’d ever hope to see. In fact, if you looked up dead guy in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of him. His body was pale and sunken, one side covered in purple splotches where his blood had pooled, and his eyes were closed. His abdomen was slightly distended with the expected build up of gas, and his flesh stuck fast to the bones beneath. In other words, he was text book. A normal corpse.
Mostly normal.
As men of his trade are wont to do when strange bodies mysteriously appear, Ed had opened Dom up, making a Y shaped incision from his neck to his groin. He hummed to himself as he did so, his hands wielding his sharp and shiny tools with the deft assuredness of a seasoned surgeon. Done cutting, he dipped his gloved hands into the cavity and started removing organs. A spleen here, a liver there, nothing Dom would miss. When he got to the heart, however, he stopped.
There was something…off…about it. At first glance, it was black and withered like an oversized raisin. An odd and putrid odor emanated from it and though he was familiar with the various smells and stenches the human body produced after death, this wasn’t one of them. Try as he might, he couldn’t place it, couldn’t even compare it to anything. Plucking a magnifying glass from the metal cart next to the table, he peeled back part of Dom’s chest and examined the heart closer.
That’s when things got really weird.
Dominick Mason’s heart was, indeed, shriveled, but it was not black. Instead, it was almost entirely covered by an interlacing crisscross of what appeared to be black mold. Here and there, Ed could glimpse flashes of the heart beneath: It was wrinkled and a sickly gray color. “What is this?” Ed asked himself at length. He grabbed a pair of tweezers from the tray and carefully, very carefully, attempted to remove a piece of the mold for analysis. The moment the cold metal tips touched the heart, it gave a violent spasm that sent Ed falling back with a shocked gasp, the tweezers falling from his hand and clinking to the tiled floor.
The heart began to pulse like an alien egg sac, slowly at first, then more rapidly. For a moment, Ed was frozen in place, unable to comprehend what he was seeing. Once you die, your heart ceases beating. That’s that. Only living hearts beat, and Dominick Mason was certainly dead. He was dead from the moment Ed first laid eyes on him earlier that day and he was dead now. Yet there was his heart, beating anyway.
It could be a muscle spasm. They usually aren’t that violent and consistent, but dead bodies sometimes do strange things. As he watched the blackened muscle expanding and contracting, however, Ed had the most eerie feeling. He went to rub the back of his neck, realized he was still wearing blood soaked gloves, and stripped them off. He was spooking himself out; he needed a break and a hot cup of coffee. He’d come back fresh and start over again.
With that mold.
Could you really blame him for being creeped out? That stuff wasn’t normal. He’d never seen anything like that before, not even in textbooks. Dom was scrawny and didn’t get enough vitamins in life, but overall, he was healthy; that mold…or whatever it was…had no business being there.
Going over to the coffee pot, which stood in the same room to save travel time, Ed grabbed a styrofoam cup. When he was done here, he planned to go home and -
A terrible, metallic clatter rang out, and Ed jumped. He turned around, and when he saw Dominick Mason standing next to the table, hunched slightly over and staring at him, an electric burst of fright shot up his spine and exploded in his brain, so strong it made the edges turn gray. Pale, hands hooked into talons, and the flaps of his chest hanging open to reveal the cavity beneath, Dominick Mason looked for all the world like a boy who’d been caught sneaking out to meet his girlfriend. A weak, involuntary, “Oh, God,” slipped from Ed’s trembling lips, and the spell was broken. Dom came alive and ran toward the door leading out to the parking lot. He slammed through it, and the sound of it crashing open and then falling closed again echoed through the empty chamber.
Shaking, panting for air, and soaked in piss, Ed sank to the floor in a sitting position, his eyes wide and staring like those of a soldier returning damaged from the front.
It was a long time before he composed himself enough to call the police.
***
Dazed and caught in a nightmarish twilight realm where nothing made sense, Dominick Mason limped painfully down the sidewalk, a stranger lost in a strange land filled with danger and hostile creatures. Barefoot and shrouded in a white sheet, he trembled with cold and struggled to ignore the dark, threatening shapes looming from the fog in his brain, shapes that would turn into unspeakable truths if he let them.
Passersby openly stared at him, their expressions either morbidly curious, disgusted, or alarmed. A man put his arm protectively around his girlfriend; a woman pulled her little boy to her breast, and another man sneered at him, his nose crinkling. Dom, his glazed eyes narrowed against the harsh glare of the many street lamps, headlights, and storefronts, lumbered headlong toward nowhere, his fear growing until he was shambling. He imagined he could hear every cough, every whisper; smell the odor of every unwashed body. Each car horn was deafening, every whiff of ass or armpits sent his stomach churning. The rustle of a passing pedestrian’s jacket jammed into his ears like icepicks, and the approaching globes of LED headlamps burned his eyes. He gritted his teeth and groaned against the pain.
The dense mist wrapping his brain made it hard to think. Like a frightened animal, he made his way on instinct alone. Home. He needed to get home. Out here, on the street, he was exposed. At home, locked away in his small apartment, he would be safe.
A car passed in the street, bass heavy rap music blaring from its open windows, and Dom’s brain exploded with agony. He threw himself against a street sign and held on for dear life, his legs weak. Dizziness overwhelmed him, and he almost went down. He was also cold.
So, so cold.
People around him quickened their step; they never took their eyes off him, as though he were a venomous snake that would strike at any moment. He needed to get away from them. They were going to hurt him; people always hurt him.
Pushing away from the sign, he began to hobble once more toward home, wherever home was. He looked over his shoulder several times as he made his way down Central Avenue, and each time, he saw that no one was following him as he had feared.
No one, that is, except for the man in sunglasses.
Tall and lank with curly hair, he wore dark Aviators and a leather motorcycle jacket over a button up shirt. His hands were thrust deep into his pockets and his face showed no expression. He was always there, always a few steps closer. Outside Capital Fried Chicken, a group of people openly stared at him, He heard their whispers as he passed. What’s wrong with him? Dude’s straight tweakin. And the one that struck him the most. That guy looks dead.
Dom hobbled faster, as if to outrun the realization that he was, in fact, dead. The man in sunglasses was closer now, his footsteps so loud that Dom winced. He turned around, and the man was impossibly in front of him. Dom ran into him and bounced backward, going ass over tea kettle and landing on the former. They were in front of a church on a darkened corner, the lights here either burned out or shot out - you could never tell in Albany. Even though it was dark, Dom could see everything with crystal clarity. Dom tried to scurry away, but he was too weak to escape. Right there and then, he decided to give up. Come what may, he just wanted this nightmare to be over.
The man stared down at him, emotionless, unspeaking.
Dom squirmed.
“You’re real lucky I came along,” the man said. His tone was flat, even.
Dead.
“Get up,” he said, “I’ll take you home.”
Home?
Yes.
Dom wanted to go home.
The man helped him up, and Dom followed him into the night.
***
Bruce Kenner stood in the middle of the medical examiner’s office at half past nine that evening with his hands on his hips and stared doubtfully down at Ed Harris. The lonely cavern was alive with activity as cops went over everything, all of them looking either bemused or a mused. Bruce was neither. He’d been at home, sitting in his chair and having a beer in front of AEW Dynamite when Vanessa called. “You might wanna get down here,” she said, sounding confused, “something really strange is going on.”
Ed Harris - no relation to that one guy - sat in a straight back chair beside his cluttered desk and gripped a styrofoam cup of coffee in both hands, putting Bruce - for some reason - in mind of a monkey. When Bruce came in, the old man was white as a sheet and shook like a leaf. In the last half hour, little had changed.
“Tell me again,” Bruce said.
He and Ed were pretty good friends. He knew that Ed knew standard police procedure. Cops don’t ask you to repeat your story a thousand times over because they’re forgetful fucks, they do it because telling it again and again helps to jog loose details that you might have forgotten. Ed, therefore, did not protest. “I turned my back,” he said and chopped the chair like Jackie Chan, “and I heard the noise.”
His voice was thick, unsteady, and halting. He sounded as squirrely as he looked…and he looked pretty damn squirrelly right now.
“I turned around…and he was looking at me. He was standing there and he was looking at me.”
This was the fourth time he’d had Ed go through the story, and nothing had changed. Bruce felt something stirring deep inside his gut. It was either disquiet…or he had to fart. He opened his mouth to speak, but sighed.
“You don’t believe me,” Ed said.
“I dunno, Ed. Dead bodies don’t just get up and walk away.”
Ed flashed. “I know that, goddamn it, but this one did.”
Bruce glanced at Vanessa. She looked uncomfortable.
“Are you sure he was dead?” Bruce asked.
Ed opened his mouth, closed it again, and said, “I did the autopsy.” His voice broke on the last word, and he sounded almost like he was pleading. “His fucking liver’s on the floor. He stepped on it. The man has nothing in him. I-I’m telling you, there’s no way he’s alive.”
During the autopsy, Ed had sat Dominick Mason’s organs on the little tray table where he kept his pointy things. Mason knocked it over while getting up. Indeed, there were human organs on the floor, and one of them did look kind of squished. Bare, bloody footprints led to the exit door, up a set of concrete steps, and then disappeared in the alley behind the office.
“You said you left his heart,” Bruce said.
“And his brain,” Vanessa helpfully added.
Ed pinched the bridge of his nose like a put upon professor dealing with two particularly stupid students. “Even with his heart and his brain, he’s dead. You saw the livor mortis. He was cold, he was stiff. His heart wasn’t beating, he wasn’t breathing. He was in one of those drawers for nine hours, not breathing, no blood flow - it’s impossible. It’s just…it’s impossible. I don’t care what you think, he was dead. And even if somehow he wasn’t, I cut out almost everything. I opened his stomach, I took his spleen - you don’t just get up from that. You don’t walk away from that, much less run.”
Bruce chewed the inside of his bottom lip because he didn’t have a Twix. He didn’t look like the smartest man in the world…and he wasn’t…but he knew a dead body when he saw one, and the body they took out of Dominick Mason’s apartment was D.E.A.D. And like Ed said, even if by some freak fluke of nature he wasn’t, he couldn’t just get up and go about his day with no liver, spleen, or kidneys. Hell, Bruce had his gallbladder out and he couldn’t even walk away from that.
“You said there was something funny about his heart,” Vanessa said.
Ed finished off his coffee. “Yeah. It was…moldy. I-I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“Is it possible that…has something to do with it?”
“Unless the rules of biology have changed overnight, no,” Ed stated.
While Ed poured himself another cup of Joe, spilling some because he was still shaking, Vanessa took Bruce aside. “So what do you think?” she asked. “Is he telling the truth?”
For that, Bruce did not have an immediate answer. All else aside, he was a cop. He followed the evidence - and his gut instinct - wherever it led him. Ed was a sober man - he was not a drunk, insane, or stupid - and no man on earth could fake the look of trauma in his eyes. Bruce’s eyes went to the bloody footprints leading away from the exam table and his stomach roiled. It might be cliched, but there had to be a rational explanation. “Yeah,” he finally said. “The kid got up like he said, but there’s no way he was dead. Maybe…I dunno, he had a surge of adrenaline or something. I’m not a doctor.”
“That’ll only get him so far,” Vanessa said. “We’ll probably find him on the street somewhere.”
He went back to the purple splotches on Dom’s face, to his cold stiffness. There’s no way he was dead?
Bruce was confused, and he hated being confused.
“I dunno,” he said, “maybe.”
But he had the gnawing feeling that they wouldn’t. They would never find him…and Bruce would be confused forever.
Goddamn it, Mason, he thought, where are you?

Before anything apologizes for broken english (if happened).
I am not doing great, many of my friends colleagues, family and more treat me like a special person because I truly am I truly love all of them and would ofc love to improve my skills, but I come from a 3rd world country not gonna name any names but when talking with my foreigner friends I feel missed out.
For example I didn't have a ps4 when I was young something completely common especially because I was in a language school with all kinds of social classes in it, I am such a pc nerd and I am very knowledged when it comes to IT but literally after my old laptop broke I got nothing and still feel the pain, even when I tried to get a job which is extremely hard because I get labeled "a student" I didn't get enough to buy me one and couldn't continue because of college.
I truly feel hopeless sometimes being born in a place I didn't want to be in don't give me wrong I love my culture and people but I am feeling all kinds of depression just existing like this and it consumes me and no matter how I go "ohh work hard and you will be successful" it doesn't really happen.
A dream/plan rn is for me to learn german and go to Germany a heaven and one of my biggest dreams ever since I was a kid but seeing all the news about foreign hate and just inequality in living and working makes me broken.
And ofc sometimes I lash out on my gf especially which she didn't do anything to deserve that she loves me and she's waiting for me so we can live together in a place that respects work but I always feel like an A-hole always telling her how she's more fortunate than me being born differently.
AITA (& would love for anyone to tell me something that can help)
Thank you for reading :3

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Hello. First of all, my English is not very good (pretty bad). I will explain my life in a simple way. Thank you in advance for your advice. I am a university student with social anxiety and my self-confidence is very low. All day long I think about my appearance and how much of a failure I am. I would love to have the confidence to work at a job. At the same time, to accept myself and my life as it is. I'm 21 years old and I've realized that I've never been able to take control of my life until now. I feel very, very bad. I feel like I'm trapped. I've tried to get therapy before, but I can't afford it right now. I constantly think that I haven't accomplished anything, that no man will love me, that I don't look good enough, and that I'm shy. This is so tiring, I'm really fed up.

Sorry this is a bit of a vent about not feeling 'valid' In my ED. I'd love to know if anyone relates so I don't feel so alone about this.
So in the last 6 months I lost a lot of weight. I started of at about 800 cals a day, as a toxic response to a breakup. Obviously, 800 cals is extremely little.
Right now I eat about 1200 most days. It ranges more like 900-1300 but sometimes I have 'cheat days' when I don't count cals at all.
I feel so much less valid with my ED because I eat relatively normally. I'm about 5ft, 17 yrs old, do a decent amount of cardio everyday (walking to and from school, cycling, ETC) but not an excessive amount like I used to. I don't count calories religiously, rounding to the nearest hundred most of the time. I eat sugary - calorie dense foods a lot. I don't even freak out too much when I go over my 'cal limit', which I set as 1200 for most days, 1000 after a more high cal day/ binge.
I've gotten so bad at restricting. The only times I properly go hungry is when I go out for multiple hours because my brain doesn't allow me to buy food when I'm out or at school sometimes. On top of that, I've only purged once in my life, about a month ago. Not for me at all.
I know that I'm still valid because an eating disorder can come in so many forms, and I'm thinking about food literally 24/7. I cannot go more than 5 minutes without thinking about food. I just can't get the idea out of my head that I'm invalid as I'm not eating extremely low cal.
(Sorry. As an english literature student It is upsetting me how badly written this is. I can't be arsed to edit but the limited range of vocabulary, and punctuation used is making me cringe fr.)

I [21M] am in a relationship (2months now) with this girl [22F]. Sorry in advance for grammatical mistakes that may occur, english is not my first language.
Im dating a girl whose Brazilian while im albanian. My parents and relatives dont like that im dating a foreign girl, they are against it. They dont know anything about our relationship. This is stressing me out and making me feel anxious, i also start to feel like i have to break up with her at some point just because of this, its holding me back from fully experiencing love with her. I really like her, she understands and accepts me like no other. My parents are suspicious that im dating a girl, but im scared down to my bones of the day i inevitably have to tell them that im dating a non-albanian girl. As i know them, they will probably be so against it (esp because she has piercings and tattoos which i dont mind at all, but my parents are sooo judgmental they will say something like „why are u bringing a lets just say „very promiscuous woman „into our house? Are you crazy? Do you want to kill us?) so im really lost on what to do…
I disagree with my parents on almost everything about life, culture, politics, self-determination and so on. Sometimes i hate them for wanting to control me and make me submit to cultural rules i dont believe in, AT ALL. But i still love them and dont wanna see them hurt like that. Im really lost on what route to take on. It is almost taboo in our culture to date someone foreign, and it only adds to the situation that my parents rlly dont know anything about my life, friends, past relationships. Thank u guys.
TLDR: Dating a girl from a different culture, my parents are extremely against it, scared of opening up to them

Hi all, I am currently a Case Manager living in NYC and trying to pivot out of the field of social work to a remote job because the workload and home visits are too much. Are there any remote or hybrid jobs that are good to transfer skills to, like a sales or HR position? I have a Bachelor’s in Sociology and a lot of my experience in social work consists of one-on-one client interactions. I also have experience in a corporate environment as I used to be a temp at a consulting firm. I speak Spanish, French, and English. I’m open to anything low stress!

Hi all, I am currently a Case Manager living in NYC and trying to pivot out of the field of social work to a remote job because the workload and home visits are too much. Are there any remote or hybrid jobs that are good to transfer skills to, like a sales or HR position? I have a Bachelor’s in Sociology and a lot of my experience in social work consists of one-on-one client interactions. I also have experience in a corporate environment as I used to be a temp at a consulting firm. I speak Spanish, French, and English. I’m open to anything low stress!

hi! my name is Jude!! i’m 19 and UK based!
I’m super interested in literature, especially old literature, greek mythology, poetry, music and history!! I’m currently in university and i’m happy to talk for hours and hours about our interests!! i’m currently in university for ancient history and i’m planning on becoming a history or english teacher once i finish my degree
i’m also super happy to game with you, i absolutely love games like stardew valley, farming sim, fallout, roblox, minecraft, fortnite. I also absolutely love formula 1, NASCAR and anything kind of sports related!
i’m also really into music! i’m a musician (bass guitar) and i love anything country, folk, metal and rock!!
i’m into my english literature and old gothic stories such as frankenstein, the castle of otranto, carmilla, the turn of the screw, etc. however my favourite story is a farewell to arms by ernest hemingway I’m a cat dad, i love animals in general but cats are my favourite!!
i’m on the sweeter side, i adore talking for hours about absolutely anything and sharing music, interests and other fun stuff with others!
when it comes to friends i would prefer a man, preferably LGBTQ and older but im not picky whatsoever!! I am a trans man but my pronouns are he/him and i am strictly male identifying so please take that into consideration when messaging 😊
it’s lovely to meet you all!! my dms are open for everyone. feel free to message me <3

Please recommend me a good bank for foreigners in Spain. I currently use BBVA and it’s been disappointing, nobody speaks English, they always promise to have an English speaker call me back and they never do. I have also written multiple emails to address my questions and it’s always ignored.
I am learning Spanish but it’s not good enough yet to talk about business and banking. Hopefully one day I can talk about banking operations in Spanish.
I’d like a bank that has English online chat/ email support, it doesn’t need to be 24/7 but just needs to have people that speak English.
Thanks guys

I [21M] am in a relationship (2months now) with this girl [22F]. Sorry in advance for grammatical mistakes that may occur, english is not my first language.
Im dating a girl whose Brazilian while im albanian. My parents and relatives dont like that im dating a foreign girl, they are against it. They dont know anything about our relationship. This is stressing me out and making me feel anxious, i also start to feel like i have to break up with her at some point just because of this, its holding me back from fully experiencing love with her. I really like her, she understands and accepts me like no other. My parents are suspicious that im dating a girl, but im scared down to my bones of the day i inevitably have to tell them that im dating a non-albanian girl. As i know them, they will probably be so against it (esp because she has piercings and tattoos which i dont mind at all, but my parents are sooo judgmental they will say something like „why are u bringing a whore into our house? Are you crazy? Do you want to kill us?) so im really lost on what to do…
I disagree with my parents on almost everything about life, culture, politics, self-determination and so on. Sometimes i hate them for wanting to control me and make me submit to cultural rules i dont believe in, AT ALL. But i still love them and dont wanna see them hurt like that. Im really lost on what route to take on. It is almost taboo in our culture to date someone foreign, and it only adds to the situation that my parents rlly dont know anything about my life, friends, past relationships. Thank u guys.
TLDR: Dating a girl from a different culture, my parents are extremely against it, scared of opening up to them

Yes I'm talking about me. Yes females get friendzoned too. No it's old news. I'm absolutely fine now, I have no attachments and I'm just as happy and ready to welcome my person in my life so we can finally start sharing this funny journey together. Why here? Beats me.
I'm a college student, I work part-time and have no actual big responsibilities other than my pets. I love travelling and I'll be able to travel more often late next year (when my studies are done) and have no physical attachments to my own country either so I'm all in for anything. Move together to a whole new different country? Let's go. Get a small van, make it into a cute little house on wheels and drive through a bunch of places for a while? Where do I sign? I have no experience with a long distance relationship so it seems manageable to me even if it's only easy in theory. Just be supporting of each other from a distance while we both create and work for certain goals be it personal or career related? Meet for travels and don't put pressure on making big steps, just enjoy each others company? All good.
Honestly I just seek someone who understands me and I understand him. That's probably why I only crushed on a friend. We had that special bond, knew everything about each other and were able to be 100% ourselves in the little happy zone we had going on. Even if it was a friendzone hahahaha. I guess people are right when they tell you to marrry your best-friend. I'm not really set on getting marrled or having kids but also wouldn't be against with the right person. I'm pretty content with my life and I just accept whatever comes to me, I don't stress on what could have been or what might be. It is what it is.
I guess who I'm looking for is someone just as free as me. But also feeling out of place and not belonging anywhere. I wonder if we can find that place we belong with each other. Does that make sense?
This is already such a failure of a post. My apologies for the grammar and mistakes but go easy on me since I'm not a native english speaker. Feel free to send a message and ask anything, request more info on me and share some of your own info and see what happens next?
Thank you for reading.

My(f21) ex boyfriend(m22) texted me a couple of weeks ago wanting to meet up. We have not had any contact in over a year and a half, and have only been in contact twice since we broke up. The break up was messy and we did not end on good terms. The two times we have been in contact since the break up have also not ended amicably. It’s safe to say that him reaching out was quite surprising.
He texted me because he wants us to meet up to talk things through and because he wants us to get back together. He claims to have realised that he messed up back then and that he lost something worth keeping. I declined meeting up, explained to him that I have no interest in us getting back together and that I can’t be friends with him. We texted a little more about our lives now, just casual small talk about what we are doing now. However it ended up with him really wanting to call me so we could talk about what happened back when we broke up. I declined this as well and told him that if he had something he needed off his chest he could write it to me but that I wasn’t comfortable calling him. He kept trying to small talk and try to convince me to call him or meet up with him for a few days but then it seemed like he understood that I have no interest in us rekindling. However a few days later he texted me again asking to meet up and talk about our break up. I declined again, and told him I didn’t understand why he wanted us try again now after almost three years. He did not respond to this and I thought that would be the end of it. A couple of days ago a girl texted me. Apparently she is his girlfriend of almost two years. She had found out that he had texted me but since he had deleted our messages she did not know about what and asked me if I were willing to tell her. I summarised our conversation and let her know that he wanted to get back together with me and that based on what he had texted me it seemed like he still had some feelings for me. She let me know that she appreciated me answering her and that was the end of our conversation.
Now I’m left confused and conflicted. He did in no way shape of form hint or let me know that he had a girlfriend. Not only did he want us to meet up and get back together he also wrote how I was the love of his life, how he would regret for the rest of his life letting me go and how he’s been thinking about me and wanting to contact me for some time. Who does that when they have a girlfriend they supposedly love? I feel bad for his girlfriend. No one should be with someone who still has feelings for their ex. I feel like I’m the bad guy because I’m the ex he still has feelings for. Right now I’m probably the reason for her pain and I don’t like that. At the same time some part of me wants to know what the fuck is going on. Why is he contacting me when he has a girlfriend of two years? Why didn’t he let me know he had a girlfriend? What is it that he wants to talk about now? I tried several times to get him to talk things through back when we broke up and one of the times we were in contact afterwards and he was not willing to. It’s been so long now I don’t get what’s changed and why now.
Still I do in some weird way want to meet up with him. I want him to explain to me what’s going on and what it is he thinks he’s doing. Maybe it’s because I know I have the power to break his heart like he once did mine. He wants me back, I do not want him. But I would never do to him what he did to me. He put me back in therapy and fucked me up good for a really long time. But I think that might be why part of me want to meet up with him. What he did doesn’t hurt me anymore. I’m okay again. I can sit in front of him without being hurt and I can show him that I moved on even though he fucked me up big time. It’s all really stupid and selfish and I don’t know what to do. I hate being “the ex girlfriend” and I don’t want to be a problem in their relationship. But at the same time I want to know what’s going on and why he got us in to this messy situation.
English is not my native language and I would like to apologise for any misspellings and grammatical mistakes. Thank you.

The closest thing I’ve seen is a rev foil unseen forces with a somewhat common foil shift, but I’d love a full on holo shift, missing layer, or something similar… English or Japanese, not opposed to either. Has anyone seen anything? Thanks in advance

Hello all,
I’ve been trying to research my family history and my families name was very recently changed (before my birth though) from its original name ‘Kutcherski’.
They were from Kyiv, I think more specifically Vasylkiv.
I would love to learn more but there is a language and script barrier in terms of me trying to do more research (I only speak English).
My grandfather was a very secretive man who my dad didn’t know much about his background or his family, but he did go back and say he visited a family member who apparently owned a gold mine?
Anyway, would love to know more about the names origins, how it’s spelt in Cyrillic, any info about what it means, how common it is and so on.
Thanks!

So recently finalized my (34m) dual citizenship paperwork and while speaking with my cousin who lives in Cancun he said I could stay as long as I want. So I was thinking maybe moving out there for a while, I’m trilingual in English Spanish and Portuguese, I’ve worked doing sales, Apple, a bartender and a law firm and have great references. Living near the beach and constant heat has been something I’ve always wanted living in the NE. Any insight on what kind of jobs I could look at? Also what’s rent cost for an average place a local would live in? I searched the pinned posts but found more for vacations than settling in.

I literally just opened an account because I need some advices. First things first, English is my second language so expect mistakes here and there or even nonsense. I’ll try to explain myself later.
I literally have no idea how to help my sister and there are times that I feel I need the relationship to end for my own happiness. Am I too selfish??? We don’t have our parents so we only have each other.
She has been in a relationship over 15 years, living together but not married. Since I met my husband she has made comments like I want to marry one day but not with him, I love him to death but I don’t want him to be the father of my children. We have discussed MILLIONS times that she should end that relationship because it’s definitely not what she needs. Time passed and nothing changed. She cheated on him a few years ago, and never told him, felt like crap about it but he never knew. She has cheated on him AGAIN, she has depression from a long time ago and she claims that she found what she needed in that guy but ended it. I have been listening to her since the end of last summer about how much she wants to end the relationship but she doesn’t know how. When I try to talk to her I supposedly become this person telling her what to do, with cero empathy and I have no idea of life and cero idea what she is going through. She has decided multiple times no to tell me anything else because of my lack of advice and then two days passed and she always come back to tell me the same crap. If I stay on the phone listening to her, it’s a problem that I stay quiet, if I try to give her advices, I shouldn’t have to tell her what to do and I have cero respect for her feelings. I have tried to talk to her and said I’m confused, I don’t really know how to approach. She calls me almost everyday to talk about the same thing and how much she has cried that day. She reminds me every time that she has depression. Oh I forgot, she’s in therapy since before Christmas. She said she has gotten better but I don’t see any changes.
I have been listening for about 7 years that she doesn’t want to be in that relationship but she doesn’t want to hurt him. Then she cries because she loves him and wants a future with him, she just wishes that he could give her what she needs. But people don’t change, and it’s definitely not getting better and 7 years is a long time to know what you want and do nothing about it. In December she was gonna leave him, in March she was gonna say that she cheated and tried to fix it. In April she didn’t know how to break up. Yesterday she wanted to be with him and tell him about the infidelity again. Today she called him and said we should break up. She called me and said but I love him too much what am I doing? Too much inconsistency for me.
After this long time talking about the same thing, it’s starting to affect my own mental health. Every phone call is one hour of negativity and I can’t take it anymore. I have found myself feeling mad, with anxiety, crying, screaming and frustrated every time I talk to her. My day gets completely ruined and I wish I could find the balance and dont let affect me. But I can’t, after so many times and a long time, I can’t anymore. I see that she is calling me and I know everything that’s coming after. I have tried to tell her that she is in this toxic routine and she needs to get out. I have said that they are hurting each other more than they are loving each other. I have said all the truths I know. And when I do, I’m a horrible person that has cero idea how to deal with mental health. I have said hey, I can’t help you, I’ll be here always but I don’t have the experience or knowledge to help you. She agrees and then she comes back wanting advices. I don’t want any more of this. A lot of things are going bad on her life also besides this. I wanted to tell her that I need a break from her for my own mental health but I feel I’m the only thing left that she has. How am I gonna do that?
I don’t know what else to do or how to approach. I feel I have tried everything. My husband keeps telling me how happier I am when my sister and I have fought and haven’t talked in months in the past. One part of me wants to say, leave me alone but another one is scared that she gets even worse because I’m leaving her.
How can you help a person with depression that doesn’t want the help and their actions are not helping?
I’m even mad after writing this. I just can’t take it anymore.

This is a famous quote from Huangbo, the anti-buddhist Zen Master extraordinaire, that is used as evidence that Zen has meditation... but it's entirely a misrepresentation of both Huangbo's teaching generally in the text AND it's a misread of the quote:

Huangbo's quote:

When you practice mind-control, sit in the proper position, stay perfectly tranquil, and do not permit the least movement of your minds to disturb you. This alone is what is called liberation.

 Plain English 

LIBERATION is nothing more than sitting quietly in a healthy way, without getting upset about whatever you think about.
Lots of people think liberation aka enlightenment involves mystical experience, supernatural powers, or secret knowledge. Huangbo is teaching "ordinary mind" enlightenment that is nothing special.

Huangbo's warnings against sitting meditation

1. As to performing [good deeds] and vast numbers of similar practices, or gaining merits as countless as the sands of the Ganges, since you are fundamentally complete in every respect, you should not try to supplement that perfection by such meaningless practices.
   
2. There is only the One Mind and not a particle of anything else on which to lay hold, for this Mind is the Buddha. If you students of the Way do not awake to this Mind substance, you will overlay Mind with conceptual thought, you will seek the Buddha outside yourselves, and you will remain attached to forms, pious practices and so on, all of which are harmful and not at all the way to supreme knowledge.
   
3. if you students of the Way are mistaken about your own real Mind, not recognizing that it is the Buddha, you will consequently look for him elsewhere, indulging in various achievements and practices and expecting to attain realization by such graduated practices. But, even after aeons of diligent searching, you will not be able to attain to the Way.
   

There are lots more.
But the point is, that interpreting Huangbo's one sentence as "overriding" all his warnings about practice and self improvement is obviously irrational.

Huangbo's warning against quote cherry picking

Above all it is essential not to select some particular teaching suited to a certain occasion, and, being impressed by its forming part of the written canon, regard it as an immutable concept. Why so? Because in truth there is no unalterable Dharma which the Tathagata could have preached. People of our sect would never argue that there could be such a thing.

A great example is Zhaozhou's "mu". Obviously, this just means "no". So being impressed by a foreign word is bogus. Further, Zhaozhou also said "yes" to the exact same question on another occasion, so the "no" is no more impressive than the yes. Finally, Zhaozhou explains his answer, which Wumen ignores, and that's fine, Wumen is enlightened, but everybody else? Especially when they don't know the dueling explanations that Zhaozhou provides? That's a huge huge problem for them.
But this idea that there is no "unalterable teaching" is a rejection of Buddhist doctrine... which depends upon there being immutable truths.