Do you need to be menstrating to start clomid

Hi, I'm pretty sure I met a serial killer? So, there's a very old (cold) murder case round our area: a serial killer who killed tens of people. He was never found.
By accident I got talking to an old man during an event, probably around 60. As soon as I started talking with him he gave me the creeps. There was sth very strange in his eyes: it was as if he didn't focus on me but was somewhere else. Still, he heard me more than okay and WAS in fact looking at me. He had a few wounds on his knuckles, dirt on his trousers and shoes, very long finger nails - the whole apperance was off. And the way he talked too. He kept asking me about where I lived. I didn't tell him. So, he gave me his address and phone number.
I called him, out of dumb curiosity. A weird woman picked up, and every time I called she told me he wasn't here but digging some stuff up in the garden... ahem I mean planting flowers (?) until midnight. ?????
I wonder if he gave me the right number or if he gave me the number of a human trafficker? The woman told me she's his sister, but idk...it all seemed very weird. Like why isn't HE picking up the phone? Or is he really in the garden all night?
I called because all my friends told me I'm crazy, that he's just a nice old man who wanted some kind of contact...so I just wanted to reassure myself you know.
Weirdest thing: the unsolved murder case happened around the address he gave me. AND there's a facial composite on this unfound murderer who looks... exactly like him.
Maybe it's just my imagination at play here. I can't even remember what he looked like exactly. It might just be in hindsight he looks similiar. And he might have a weird sister and be weird. And reallt just be an old man who likes gardening?
After all, if there really WAS sth wrong he surely wouldn't give me his address and phone number (if they're the correct ones?!) AND why would the sister tell me he's digging stuff up in the garden if.. he really was doing something illegal? Plus police said the eye witness for the picture was unreliable. BUT the description (hair, eye colour, age) all fits, but is quite general.
I have to say I'm quite a bit over the top at times and too immersed in crime fiction and stuff so it might be my imagination that's putting all that stuff together. I don't even know WHY I spoke to the stranger - it must've been stupid curiosity, because I immediately felt something was off.
Oh I remember: It's a landline I called basically. BUT the woman put the phone down for like 5 minutes, telling me she'll look for the man. She couldn't have possibly tracked my phone right? That's only stuff police can do? And when I was asking her about something he had told me she asked me if I really did need to talk to him at all cause he's been quite busy lately and told me to call back another time (we were taking about post cards and stuff, that's why I called, about a rare edition he had showed me during the event).
I now wonder if I'd been stupid.. I didn't give him my name, my address or anything else. All he or whoever has is my mobile phone number, that's it. They can't do anything with that right?
Talked to him again and yet again he asked me about my real address to send me rare postcards (I expressed interest, he offered to send them; he didn't seem pleased that I have a 'friend's' address and not mine and kept slightly pushing me for MY address just to be sure they arrive alright. Isn't that weird? Granted my friend lives a bit farther away so it might be a financial issue?

Im going to rant about my emotionally and verbally abusive dad

I’m starting to hate my dad, the way he behaves, the way he talks, the way he thinks, basically everything. He’s an oil and gas company employee and earns 100% income of my family, which means he doesn’t spend a lot of time at home. I'm 18F, and the time he spends in my life can basically be cut to half, because he only comes home for two weeks and works for two weeks every month, for as long as I can remember.

He’ll always get triggered by the smallest things ever and starts to verbally abuse my mum or everyone in this family because he thinks he’s the financial source of this family and he can do whatever he wants for the sake of being a provider of this family. Yes, he financially supported us for about 20 years now, and I’m truly grateful for it, but the role of being a dad is definitely more than that, right? Plus, he only gives about 25% of his income to my mum and expects her to take care of four people’s spending every month and be a homemaker.

Here are the little things I’m gonna share with you that he’ll get triggered by. Whenever my mom was the driver he would be in the passenger seat yapping about how my mum’s driving skills were bad and belittling her. I hate to see that. He’s a misogynistic person, since I could remember he’ll always say a lot of things about women like he wasn’t raised by one. My grandmother is evil towards my mum, she’ll always try to gossip about my mum in front of my dad and makes my dad mad at my mum. My mum raised three of us, me, my brother and my sister because he’s barely home. Whenever he comes back from work, he’ll just meet up with his friends and drink till late at night and come home drunk. Or he’ll just go on bike trips with his friends for a few nights every week.

One time my mum was sick and overslept and missed my little sister's school time she straight up yelled at my mum for being irresponsible and he even said “You must send her to school every day unless you die.” It was shocking and awful, I would say I was already used to his tantrums but this is new and it's very out of line. My mum must felt so hurt at that time.

I never talk back to him. I never talked back to him since I was a kid, never, cuz whenever I had a little objection to his opinion I would get yelled at, very badly.

He always thinks he has the right to say all those bad things about us because he’s my mum’s husband and our dad. My dad would always start a fight with my mum about money. He thinks we’ve spent so much of his money and always being ungrateful to him which we did not. And the fight he had with my mum would always end with “You don’t know how many women are aiming at my money, I can still pull girls and choose not to stay here with you.” My mum will always be quiet about it because it’s the only way he will stop yelling.

His insecurity of fearing no one will take care of him when he gets older is getting really obvious now as he’s older. He’s unwilling to pay for our expenses and decided to cut off 5% of the money from the 25% he was initially giving us. I guess he’s trying to save up for his retirement but as his children, we did not say we would abandon him. Sometimes they will also fight about why me and my siblings rarely start a conversation with him and accuse my mum that she’s turning his kids against him. This is the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever heard of, I genuinely don’t know what he’s thinking. Btw he barely pays any attention to us, he only cares about his money and his bike.

Here's a little fun fact about him, he likes to brag. Whenever he gets anything that is “braggable” he will start to brag, and show off to the other relatives and friends, making others think that he’s a super generous person and he’s being very generous towards us, but the truth is, he’s not.

Whenever they fought, he’d say awful, hurtful stuff, and yell at my mom and they would stay quiet for a few days until they started talking again. Then things go back to normal and we live peacefully like a normal family and things will repeat.

I really wish that one day I could drag my mum out of this shithole. Maybe we are the problem too, we are too dependent on his financial support. I just needed to let things out for a sec so that I could focus on my study, cuz I don't really know what to do now.

thanks for reading my rant

Hi, I'm pretty sure I met a serial killer? So, there's a very old (cold) murder case round our area: a serial killer who killed tens of people. He was never found.
By accident I got talking to an old man during an event, probably around 60. As soon as I started talking with him he gave me the creeps. There was sth very strange in his eyes: it was as if he didn't focus on me but was somewhere else. Still, he heard me more than okay and WAS in fact looking at me. He had a few wounds on his knuckles, dirt on his trousers and shoes, very long finger nails - the whole apperance was off. And the way he talked too. He kept asking me about where I lived. I didn't tell him. So, he gave me his address and phone number.
I called him, out of dumb curiosity. A weird woman picked up, and every time I called she told me he wasn't here but digging some stuff up in the garden... ahem I mean planting flowers (?) until midnight. ?????
I wonder if he gave me the right number or if he gave me the number of a human trafficker? The woman told me she's his sister, but idk...it all seemed very weird. Like why isn't HE picking up the phone? Or is he really in the garden all night?
I called because all my friends told me I'm crazy, that he's just a nice old man who wanted some kind of contact...so I just wanted to reassure myself you know.
Weirdest thing: the unsolved murder case happened around the address he gave me. AND there's a facial composite on this unfound murderer who looks... exactly like him.
Maybe it's just my imagination at play here. I can't even remember what he looked like exactly. It might just be in hindsight he looks similiar. And he might have a weird sister and be weird. And reallt just be an old man who likes gardening?
After all, if there really WAS sth wrong he surely wouldn't give me his address and phone number (if they're the correct ones?!) AND why would the sister tell me he's digging stuff up in the garden if.. he really was doing something illegal? Plus police said the eye witness for the picture was unreliable. BUT the description (hair, eye colour, age) all fits, but is quite general.
I have to say I'm quite a bit over the top at times and too immersed in crime fiction and stuff so it might be my imagination that's putting all that stuff together. I don't even know WHY I spoke to the stranger - it must've been stupid curiosity, because I immediately felt something was off.
Oh I remember: It's a landline I called basically. BUT the woman put the phone down for like 5 minutes, telling me she'll look for the man. She couldn't have possibly tracked my phone right? That's only stuff police can do? And when I was asking her about something he had told me she asked me if I really did need to talk to him at all cause he's been quite busy lately and told me to call back another time (we were taking about post cards and stuff, that's why I called, about a rare edition he had showed me during the event).
I now wonder if I'd been stupid.. I didn't give him my name, my address or anything else. All he or whoever has is my mobile phone number, that's it. They can't do anything with that right?
Talked to him again and yet again he asked me about my real address to send me rare postcards (I expressed interest, he offered to send them; he didn't seem pleased that I have a 'friend's' address and not mine and kept slightly pushing me for MY address just to be sure they arrive alright. Isn't that weird? Granted my friend lives a bit farther away so it might be a financial issue?

hi guys idk whos gonna listen but i just relaly need to vent. me and my gf are both 15 and i know we are young but this still hurts.
so for reference we are both girls who have been dating for just over a year and a half. at the start things were great but then i felt like she wasnt putting much effort in so i communciaed that to her and she changed right away. she aplogised profusley and starte making lots more of an effort, and i felt really appreciated.
a few motnhs ago is when things started getting weird. she had stopped saying i love you everydya and whenever i mentioned it she would always say she forgot to say it. when i said i didnt understand bc if she loved me how come she forgets to say it? and she would always tell me i didnt understand so i just had to accept it and now i have to remind her to say it everyday (sounds bad ik)
theres just been gradual changes. she used to walk me home everydya and i would tell her to text me when she got home but she would text me as soon as she left my house bc she missed me. now she walks me halfway and texts me way after her shower. she never compliments me anymore, (and if she does its just "pretty" whcih is rare) never sends nice videos, never sends nice things, i asked her what she loved most abt me and a while ago she sent a whole paragraph but when i asked aagain like last week she just said "idk u care." idk u care?? bro. she rarely initates kisses anymore and when we do kiss she pulls away really fast and doesnt look at me like she used too. it alwas seems like a bother too when i try to hug her.
and when im talking to her its hard to keep a convo sometimes she just doesnt respond and ill be telling her things and shes like "mhm yep mhm" and wheneber i try to bring up an issue with her she get all defesnice and it starts an argument and i end up apologisng.
the thing is though i still love her and havent stopped. it hurts so much knwoing what she used to do vs what she does now. i still show the same amount of effort but i dont know whats happening. i could be overthinking but ive overthought in the past and this seems different. maybe shes going through a tough time?? maybe shes comfortble and doesnt feel the need to say stuff anymore? idk whatever it is its really hurting me
i really dont want to lose her though but i might just have to accept this, or see where it goes. any advice is really appreciated.

Hello again!
My "pen" name is Kairi Aoyama.
I'm looking for assistants to finally be able to draw the manga for a story I've been planning for a while.
First, let me tell you about the story and then the details of what I'm looking for.
The story follows Lily Valse, a young woman trying to achieve her dream of becoming a professional singer and leader of her own band. After being deceived by her previous group, Lily meets Mia Akabane, a musician trying to become a writer, and both will try to achieve their dreams together as they discuss topics like finding your place in the adult world, dreams, failure, and the daily fight to try to achieve your goals.
The story has a relaxed and joyful tone, yet it can get romantic and dramatic at some points. If you're still interested, please keep reading.
I'm looking for assistants. I can't offer any payments because I'm not in a good financial situation. Yet, as an artist myself I don't take work for granted. I'll be doing most of the work. I just need a couple of people to help me with whatever. A page, a panel, or even the script would be really helpful. Once again, I'll be doing most of it, and any revenue we make (which is the goal) will be divided proportionally.
The only requirements are the following:

1. Have some free time. Again, this is not a job and I'm not paying for your time properly (yet). But I'd require to at least have some free time. I know school or work can get heavy, but I'm looking forward to someone who has some time available. Not a lot, but like I said, if I ask you for help in a panel and you're going on a two-week vacation to Europe, then things won't work out. Just a certain amount of time a day would be fine. An hour or two would be a good place to start
2. Have Clip Studio Paint (or Photoshop). That's the tool we work with and I think it is very helpful. Other software can work well but sharing files might get tricky. If you have any experience using other programs with CSP or Photoshop files without problems, please let me know.
3. You don't need to know how to draw. If you can draw lines in different intensities naturally, then you will be my savior.
4. Be over 18+ The story won't have any NSFW content but I'd still prefer that you'd be over the age of 18 so we don't have problems with maybe discussing mature topics, anatomy or even being way too young to be on the internet and hence, putting our project in a delicate situation.
5. Speak English fluently. I also speak Spanish but I bet most people here talk in English so, it'd be preferable that we all could communicate.
6. In case it wasn't clear, the two main leads are girls and will fall in love. The story doesn't explore in-depth themes of sexual preferences as they are established as something normal. If you have any problems with said topic, I think this isn't the story for you.

If any of you are interested, I'd be thankful. I've been preparing myself to write this story for nearly two years but I know I can't do it alone. It will be a mountain to climb but I will do it cause this is what I dreamed for so long.
We are already two people in this project. You can check the prologue here https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/118120029#1 (i'll be changing the cover soon)
You can DM me here. On my discord: kairiaoyama_ or even my email: [kairiaoyama@gmail.com](mailto:kairiaoyama@gmail.com)

So I’m married for the last 13 years and have three kids . My husband has been having financial issues for the last 6 years ! We have struggled a lot and he’s still trying to get some sort of stability . He has tried to get jobs which didn’t work and then he started doing his own freelancing work which hasn’t been doing well either . Basically from the last 8 months he hasn’t had any income . We have had help from family and friends and that’s how we have managed so far alhamdulillah but I do feel life cannot go on like this . Sometimes I do get thoughts about divorcing him because it’s jsut too much for me to handle now - mentally I’m drained with all the financial stress . He has a lot of faith in Allah and he is trying his best to make things work for him financially. His tawakkul in allah is very strong. On the other hand I’ve lost hope that I will ever see him being financially stable again and it scares me to think how will I raise three kids with no financial stability . What are your thoughts? 🙏🙏 also please keep me and my family in your duas . We need allah to do miracles for us !! Thank you 🙏

I guess I should start with (35M), I honestly don't know if that's the right way. Nothing makes sense anymore.
I've been suffering with this horrific disease now since 2008. I had a series of bad injuries in the military I don't want to get into that. But the doctors say my major depressive order stemmed from that. I've been fighting it for years now. This post December I finally decided to try to get my life and health on track and I went to a primary physician. They had the mental health screening on the forms that I had to fill out. All these years I've always lied and just march everything good, everything's fine, everything's perfect. You know the usual fucking bullshit fake smile that we have all put on for the world so they don't know the deep dark black hole that infects our chests. I don't know what changed, I filled it out as honestly as I could in my score came back horrifically. I want to say it was a 21 testing and I scored 17. Before I could even get the words out to ask if it's bad My doctor said yeah we need to get you on some meds. I started off on 50 mg sertraline and 50 mg trazodone because I was not sleeping anymore. I started noticing the effects rather quickly. Everything was starting to feel much better. I started eating again, I started sleeping again, I even started smiling again, genuine real smiles. Then in March, I started having noticeable declines and my doctor bumped me up to 100 mg sertaline. Again same trend where everything started picking up and feeling good, feeling normal, feeling right. April comes along, I catch COVID while working across the country. I come home to recover and was home for 3 weeks. I was absolutely miserable the whole time despite taking my meds. I honestly was hoping the COVID would kill me at that point. Because how I felt from having it, and just my general mental health. Three and a half weeks goes by, I finally get to go back to work. Not even a week later, my boss says we need to have a meeting. It wasn't a meeting, there's never any intention of a meeting according to co-workers. My supervisor whined moaned and complained the whole time I was gone that we were losing revenue because of me. They talked about firing me the whole time.
Now I'm sitting here broke, alone, depressed, in my bedroom. I've been searching for over a week for employment. And honestly at this point, it doesn't look like I'm going to find anything quick enough to be able to pay for rent because of all this. I've hit a point where I feel like I've let my friends/roommates down. I'm at a point where I feel like I'm an absolute failure. My meds aren't working, I'm barely eating, I'm barely sleeping, I can barely get the interest to play my games. I turn my Xbox on and I just look at the TV. I feel like I'm a broken shell of a human being at this point. Sadly I feel like I'm starting to move on from passive suicidal ideation, into something much more terrifying. I can't bear the thought of being homeless, and even worse having to go through SSRI withdrawals because I don't have insurance or money for my medicine now. I just want this pain to stop. I just want to feel normal. I don't know what I'm doing wrong in my life.

Hello everyone 🙂 I am getting my toller at the end of June and I am starting shopping. When it comes to the room crate and catravel crate, what size should I get? (It will be a boy) Also, what's your experience with collars and harnesses? Which do you prefer? Or should I get both? We'll do canicross eventually, so I'll definitely need a harness later on, but not necessarily while he's still a puppy. I only had rottweilers before and tollers are smaller and more active, so I am sure it will be different. Thanks!

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-me-pay-tuition-and-graduate
Hello, I am a 23 year old senior at the University of Houston who needs your help to finish my bachelor's degree. I have one semester left however, the tuition i owe from my previous semester is preventing me for registering and finishing it. I have tried my best to work hard to earn it: taking dual credit and AP classes and when in college, taking as many hours as I could. However, during and after covid left me burnt out one reason being family which you can read more about here, https://www.reddit.com/QAnonCasualties/comments/rte190/how_do_you_guys_cope_living_with_antivaxxe. To make a long story short my GPA started to slip and I lost the scholarship I was depending on. Also, since I have taken so many classes with all the credit I had earned before classes and all the hours I took fulltime, usually around 18 credit hours, I received a message from financial aid that I exceeded credit hours and I wouldn't be able to get the grant anymore. I am currently taking a break from school and have been working a full-time job as a teaching assistant but it's not enough to pay what I owe. I really want to finish because its something I always wanted. Please, I need your help, I'll post updates here on to let you know how it's going. Please, getting this degree would help me so much in life and to take the next steps in life. Thank you for reading this and I hope you have a lovely day. <3

(33yo F) I have wanted to be a mum for basically my whole life and these past few years I have been getting extra clucky. I have had my fair share of partners but I seem to only attract men that are... not great. I have had the thought of getting a sperm donor before but just recently I decided that I'm just going to go for it.
My older sister has mentioned in the past when I brought up sperm donors that I shouldn't give up on men and that it will be hard to find a partner when I'm a single mum. (I am not giving up on men, I'm just not putting my dreams of motherhood on hold while I wait for mr right) The real trouble started when I mentioned the idea at a family dinner (I was already hesitant to bring it up because I kind of knew what the response would be). My step mum brought it up by mentioning that a lot of women she knows have been having babies on their own through IVF. I decided after this comment to say that I was considering doing the same. My dad (63) starting saying that it was hard for him being a single parent (mind you he raised 4 kids and split with my mum when I was about 12), I won't get a break at all, a child needs to know who their dad is, I need a partner to bring in a second style of parenting because I won't know everything. I get single parenting will be hard and I know that I will be on the job 24/7. I can see where he is coming from, but I just think he's experience will be vastly different from my own.
My SIL (27 maybe) then chimed in saying that I need to prioritise what I want. I'm renovating my house and she said that I either need to do one or the other. She then brought up finances and said that I couldn't keep up with what I have now. This is not true. Sure, I don't earn as much as her and my brother but my lifestyle accommodates for that and is quite comfortable financially. She then asked me if I knew what having a baby would do to my body. I don't really care about stretch marks and a mum bod. I can't help thinking that she is projecting her fears into me.
I'm sorry this post is long. I really want to be a mum and I'm worried that if I keep waiting for a man then I'll run out of time. I am scared of being a single mum but I also feel like I'll do a good job of it. I work in child care and I love the bonds that I build with the children I work with.
Am I wrong for wanting to have a baby on my own?

Hey there. I’m now almost three months into my recovery and was able to completely get rid of my anorexic mindset. My AN was triggered by a regular diet in which I planned to lose around X pounds but I ended up losing twice the amount.
When I started recovery I gave in to the extreme hunger that started and although I don’t use the scale anymore, I assume to have gained back those additionally lost pounds by now. That’s just a guess by looking at the mirror and the clothes that fit me. I could see every bone back at my worst state and now I look healthy, bigger and feel soft and puffy so to say.
Now the issue is, I’m still so hungry. And I do eat when I’m hungry. But the amount of calories I consume, despite not tracking it, must be way over my maintenance. So if I continue that, I’ll gain even more.
Where do I go from here? I want to be healthy and am so much more happy than I was at my worst, yet I don’t want to go back to my original overweight state either. I guess I just need some encouragement today.
Thank you.

To start it of with context, Some of us are new to D&D, I have played a few games but not a Full campaign before this yet (right now I have 2 other campaign lined up that I just started playing on with this one so this is my very first full campaign). and so previously this is after the 2nd session of the campaign, we were levelled up to 5 (from 2nd level to 5 for campaign purposes) and for some of us (including me) this was our first time being in that level. it's a magic academy themed and we're like adventurers who are chased by a powerful evil mage cult, so we seek refuge in a magic academy due to an acquaintance that we formerly helped. so we transitioned from a normal D&D to magic academy homebrew stuff.
I'll get to the point, so at first this is like 3rd session together, DM gave us a test that went horrible for us (since we're new, so no strategy talking and trying to avoid metagaming obviously) against High-levelled AC enemies with super high damage for some reason that barely any of us can hit (we're also forced to be in a Spellcasting subclasses) so we failed and died one at a time, at first that was understandable like hey it's a test on the first day of the academy. after that DM talking to us as an NPC Bard Professor character, telling us that we were supposed to do something ridiculous about it (like dance with the enemies, even though we have no bards) and yeah it's the first day so we failed on this. and some plot things happened like devices that were sabotaged and stuff for other students who also failed almost died.
So then the DM introduced a Downtime mechanic(Text based like solo RPG ) we get to do adventures alone or with a +1 member sometimes, and it's like everything we do on downtime is failing or going horrible for some reason. even though we get High rolls? nah sorry the checks are higher so we should've rolled a 20+, I had an 18 Roll last time but the roll that I needed was 19 DM said. want to go to a normal smith shop? sorry all of them are full of customers go to this suspicious shop alley way and check out this homebrew that I did that is a scroll that is RNG for a weapon which cost most of your money. want to do a normal quest? here some shit reward quest where you can barely buy/get anything or get in line to a guild attendant for a good quest that is long that it will take ages before you get to it. and lastly since it's text it was easy to get misunderstood, can't even convey right emotion on the the text thing, and get misinterpreted the wrong way, realized that when a friendly ghost librarian suddenly went angry at my character and chased him out.
and to summarize it "DM gave us exhaust most of the time (disadvantages on rolls and other debuffs), Powerful enemies that we can't handle at all, and NPC's that are hard to trust or like" (Cause DM gave us trust issues 1st session when we encountered a Changeling that manipulated us), so from exhaust he decreased our rolls, decreased money for economy changes or he either inflates it, and he spit on our characters dignity like now they look pathetic that I don't even wanna play him anymore, it's only been a few sessions in and it's been rough. I don't know about the others who did their Downtime alone (heard that some are also was not having a good time) but I am not having fun with this Campaign at all. barely any rewards, nothing good has happened to our party yet, and it's either bad rolls or bad actions due to being inexperienced. compared to the other campaign I played this is horrible, this one is just torture for me and not fun at all. I even tried to be creative on my spells, but it either fails due to enemy "high AC" or "high levels" that skill checks won't do crap, DM even manipulating the story for us to fail anyway (it felt like it, since I HAD HIGH ROLLS most of the time)
I don't want to end the campaign because of disputes or to leave the campaign just because I don't agree with DM on what's happening. it is my first ever campaign and I also felt bad for my character since nothing has turned out good to him, so I'm just venting here.

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Hello guys!
Thank you for the overwhelmingly positive feedback I got on my last post. If there is any grammar mistakes on this post I want to say sorry in advance and that english is not my first language.
I got many comments and messages about my diet, caloric intake and workout routine so I figured I will make a detailed post about what I did to hit my goals instead.
I am 29 years old, 179cm tall, starting weight was 85 kg and my current weight is hovering between 68-69 kgs.
Workout routine:
At the beginning of my journey, I first focused on being able to maintain my fasting window. Even 16 hours was very hard for me and I was very hungry all the time. My body got used to it after 3 weeks or so I would say. I started with working out with a 8 kg kettlebell, 3 times a week and has managed to work myself up to using a 20 kg kettlebell.
At the beginning I focused on kettlebells monday-wednesday-friday. These sessions were around 30 minutes average and are very time efficent and should be possible for people with tight schedules as well.
If you want to start kettlebell workouts I recommend this fullbody complex 3 times a week:
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeCnqFJ .
Walking/ Running:
I have worked my way up to be able to run 10-15 km at will now but at the start I struggled to even hit 1 km before stopping and wanting to pass out. I think if you are looking into start running as well you should start slow and build up your mileage. There is no shame to stop and walk and run slowly. Remember to warm up and stretch after runs, I had to learn this the hard way because I would constantly get injured after longer runs so I had to take breaks from training which sucked.
If running is not for you I really recommend going for a walk to keep your body moving, I dont really have a step goal but I do walk my dog every day.
Diet and fasting protocol(16/8):
I cannot stress this enough but this is the most important aspect of the whole lifestyle change. Replace procressed foods with more whole foods. I had to force myself to eat more fruits and vegetables. But with time I started finding these foods delicious (thank god).
Monday - Friday:
I break my fast with 4 scrambled eggs, kimchi, a whole avocado every single day without fail.
This is the purpose of delaying carbs so my insulin level will not spike for the majority of the day.
I finish my first meal with either a protein shake, protein yoghurt and some fruits (oranges, berries, banana).
I have my last and biggest meal of the day around 7-8 pm.
These meals on the weekdays usally consist of meat(pork, chicken, beef) with either rice, potato or sweet potatoes and veggies (cooked broccoli is my favorite).
I finish this meal with protein pudding (which satisfy my sweet tooth) and some fruits.
I try to do this as consistently as possible, if theres days where I have to be social or go out for dinner. I forgive myself and move on, and remind myself that if I am able to be consistent 80% of the time, I am proud of myself
Remember!! Perfect is the enemy of good.
Treat yourself and be kind to yourself here and there!!
Saturday-Sunday:
I honestly eat whatever here. I try to not go overboard of course but I usally eat waffles with my fiance for breakfast.
For dinner I eat whatever I crave but its usally pizza or pasta haha.
I love haribo gummy bears so its usally a pack of that too during the weekends.
Sleep:
Another thing I want to add is how important sleep is. I dont think it is a secret that sleep is important but I think we neglect it too much nowadays. Please give your body time to rest, and sleep enough so your body get to regenerate!!
Last note:
Lastly I just want to say that I am proud of us all for being in this sub looking for ways to change our health and lifestyle for the better.
Please do not treat food as the enemy but fuel for your body so you can function and live a long healthy life.
I see so many people going overboard with eating 1000 kcal a day and such and in the long run it is unsustainable. Our body needs food. But treat your body like a temple and eat food that will make you feel great!!
Thank you so much again, I am so happy I found this sub.
Have a nice day :)

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What are folks thoughts after reading the offer. I feel it falls short. This attempt at offering support when class sizes go over max is silly. It should be a hard cap at 32. Extra support should be offered at say 27, and make that the goal for class sizes over the next decade or something.
At least then it’s a start without needing the massive investment of infrastructure so fast. Maybe those teachers who havent finished degrees that they have teaching can be moved to those support roles. A mini apprenticeship role.
I don’t know, feels like a lot of review stuff and guidelines. Also some stuff that seem like they will increase administration, such as the teachers doing small group tutoring having to liaise with each other. I can only imagine what that will turn into.
Some positives though. The stuff on documented plans (was in the exchange of letters, now formal) and allowances.
Money isn’t my main issue, but I understand it is for others.
Still, a no from me. What thoughts you guys have.

I can't tell if I'm trans or just trying to find somewhere to belong. I know if you think you're faking it you're probably not, but in my case it's not "faking" it might just be coping from a lack of identity?
I don't know what to think but I'll try to explain my life story (sorry it's gonna be long, ik my posts are usually long but this one is going to be stupid long) in case anyone can help (also sorry for being so annoying I know a lot of ppl have super trans-related problems and my problems are like 1/2 trans if I'm too much just tell me and I'll stop). Just finished typing it and yeah this is stupid long and I probably shouldn't post this anymore cuz it's dumb but at this point I have nothing left to lose so I'm gonna anyways.
TW: Suicidal ideation + mentions of death + mentions of self harm
When I was in elementary I was friendly and social with everyone, and part of a close friend group of 2 females and 1 enby (they didn't know at the time). I felt comfy in that group but summer came and I didn't talk to them bc I didn't have a phone. When I started middle school I didn't get in any of their classes, so I told myself I'd focus on my studies. So then the people i met in middle school who were my "friends" were only because I wanted someone to talk to but I had lost my personality so I kinda just shaped my personality around them. But that's also around the same time I realized I kinda really hated everything about myself. Uncertain about what I want to do with my life. Hated my appearance (had just constantly gotten buzz cuts my whole life) + I hate my face and body. I assumed it was body dysmorphia after looking up how I felt and accepted that I was just depressed. Come high school I just kept feeling worse, then we had to put my dog down and I didn't cry a single tear when he got injected. I realized I was really fucked up from that and that night when I was alone I completely shattered. All sense of self left me and I realized that I felt completely alone. I even started SHing myself around that time (though nothing too intense, was mostly just with a broken utensil, only a razor once which freaked me out a ton since my shoulder kept bleeding and after that I stopped and just started hitting myself instead). I decided to try piece myself together and the first thought was to figure myself out. I determined I was probably aroace since I had never "liked" anyone (still dunno if i have) even though I want to. Thought that was it but then when I started working after high school I saw a Coolyori meme after getting into DDLC. The meme wasn't even from egg irl but id assume it has been posted there. I don't remember exactly what it was but it was something along the lines of looking like Sayori. Then I found egg irl and realized that yeah I think if I had been born a girl and had a girl childhood I probably wouldn't have been depressed. I mean, girls are pretty and I might've been able to hold onto my friends and not fuck everything up. But now I just wonder if I actually want to be a girl, or if I just think it would solve my problems. I also wonder if I just wanna be more feminine because I have 2 sisters, no brothers, my dad never hung out with me, all of my friends that I've been close to growing up were girls (except that one enby + an enby online I met), and the people I played with in the summer were girls. I'm struggling to figure out if I'm just depressed or actually trans and I care too much about not burdening others to be able to ask for help + I developed really bad social anxiety as well. I just am tired of living in a state of anxiousness and self-hatred at this point. At this point I just wish some outside force could set me free cuz I'm too tired. If anyone actually read of this thank you but I'm also sorry I wasted so much of your time. 💜
Any input/advice/insight is appreciated and much needed 🫂

Imagine that your character is level 90 and the only way to upgrade them is artifacts and weapons. But artifacts need resin, and resin is finite.
How about another upgrade system, that allows you to add up to 4 passive stats (just like artifact substats) to your chatacter, that is at level 90?
My idea is to add a Boss-Rush type of gamemode. (Something like abyss, where you start with easy enemies and go up in difficulty every floor). You would be able to see what boss you are facing next and beating them would give you special type of coin.
For example the first boss gives 100 coins, second one gives 150 because second boss is harder, and so on.
If you fail to beat a boss, you start from the very beginning, and bosses are randomized each time to add variety (maybe even add some tweaks such as more boss hp or 2 bosses at once). And every 5th boss you face will be a weekly boss that gives for example 1000 coins.
Now these coins could be used to roll for passive stats for your character (up to 4). For example +15% hp, +250 atk, +10%crit rate and +20% crit damage.
Rolling the same stat would slightly upgrade the previous, up to 3 times, and you would be able to choose if you want to upgrade, or overwrite. Rolling a single passve stat would cost 10000 coins.
The game mode would be an infinite coin source and wouldn't cost any resin. I think this would allow way more hours of gameplay to people who want to upgrade every character even more, and a good way to spend free time when out of resin.
What do you think?

Chapter 1: the event
It was the fall of my intern year as I bean my off service trauma rotation. This month was ubiquitously notorious for being the most labor intrusive and least productive rotaion of our emergency medicine program. Knowing this I entered with the intention of simply surviving the month.
Another intern and I let’s call them A for sake of ambiguity, we’re the first emergency medicine residents to roste on the trauma services that year. A shaky start would be an understatement. In the words of chance the raper “like my grama with the Parkinson’s playing operation.” Would better describe it. Medically we did well. We were very competent and completed our work daily, but communication and coordination was non existent. Our Cheifs had informed us that Tuesday was our day of and the Trauma cheif residents had minimum communication with us, or our Cheifs as it seams when A and I did not report on Tuesday they sternly made their dissatisfaction known.
I have struggled with insomnia sense the age of 10. Had 2 sleep studies by this point in my life and been prescribed nearly every sleeping aid on the market. The 80-94 hr work weeks of our trauma rotaion only worsened my insomnia. My lack of sleep likely contributed to a less than prime adaptive immune system and 2 days out of my trauma rotaion I contracted strep like symptoms with associated nausea, requiring me to call for a sick day the next day. No the first day that I felt too ill to work. I was not fully aware of the reporting process. I reported to my Chiefs, but I did not believe I could come to work tomorrow with amble time and notice, however I was somewhat delayed in letting their Cheifs know, because the surgical chiefs rotated every few days and I did not know who my was going to be the next day. The second day which I had to call out sick I was able to locate the cheif for the next day and reprot according to our university’s protocol, which requires that if a resident feels they are not fit for work they must not come in and the university must have staff coverage without any fear or implementation of punitive actions.
I had finally survived to the last week of my trauma rotaion and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I could not see was the pile of stress, shitty diet, lack of mental well ness and sleep deprivation which I was pushing down to reach the light. By this time I had seen a psychiatrist regularly for sleep medication. I had mentioned to him that I had been experiencing more stressed lately and feel that I might be depressed. he reassured me that it was likely only due to my circumstances, given the difficulty of the trauma rotation and wish to reassess once the rotation was over. Looking back I had to fill the habit of drinking more than I usually do. My only on nights before I have days off became 1-2 beers every other night. All of this repressed unhealthy shit finally pushed bad on September 23rd. That night I was at work even later than usual, I stayed up later than usual and couldn’t seem to fall asleep. With the stress of only having minimal sleep and knowing I only had 2 more days of trauma left, I took an extra dose of my sleeping medication.
I opened my eyes to the fighting sight of sun beaming in my window and I instantly knew I was late. (Sense I hadn’t seen the sun in a month) . Due to my need for scrupulous sleep hygiene I have been sleeping with my phone of and away for me. I rushed to grab it and watched as the little Apple logo seamed to glow on the screen for an eternity. Then in conjunction with its fading I saw 3 missed calls from my director, a text from college A and 2 missed calls from the surgical director. Still, I was able to calm myself, knowing that resident A had been late to this rotation by a few hours 2 other days and nothing came of it. I called my director back and he asked me to report to his office where I was greeted by my director, my coordinator and another emergency medicine facility.
With the only explanation of: “we just want you to get better”, I was handed a letter, to my relief it did not entail my termination, but a declaration of administrative leave and a requirement to undergo an evaluation at a well known university in Florida.
Lake any other savvy millennial, I did my research. By research I mean numerous google searches and screeches thru the depts of redit. To my dismay I discovered that in order for a residency program to fire you, they must first initiate an administrative suspension. I would soon find out however, being terminated would have been a delightful outcome compared to what ensued.
I spend the next few weeks in the wallos of regret and depression. I indulged in higher qualities of alchohol then I ever have before. I all but ceased communing with peers, and abruptly stoped any physical activity I had once enjoyed. Frightened as I was I was ensured, it will be ok “we just want you to get better”
Chapter 2 The evaluation : guilty until proven innocent I did exactly as instructed and scheduled an evaluation, I supposed that this was either a mental evaluation to assess if I’m fit for work with plans of termination or it actually was an evaluation to better treat my insomnia. To this day I regret my ignorance, and wish I had researched the process more. The Hindi / sand-skrt idea of Hamsa 🪬 is that in order to do any good you must have full knowledge or else good intentions can result in harm. I truely believe my director had good intentions, however but him and I did not have full knowledge of the nature of this evaluation.
Looking back see how easily I could have avoided my troubles by asserting legal aid at this point or even by researching this evaluation process more in depth. If one searches impaired practitioner program which I now know this evaluator works for, the search entire will populate 5 or 6 layferms along side their home website and there is a valid reason for this.
If one every finds themself in this process I employ you to bring a DSM to your evaluation or at least be familiar with the most common use disorders in the DSM-5, because your evaluation will turn into a dance of questions where the evaluator attempts to trap you in a round about way to stating something that may qualify for one of the diagnosis. I have provided an image from the DSM-5 below outlining AUD, which the evaluator concluded that I had the most severe from:
Image
Example***** Here are 10 examples of how he fraudulently assessed me taken directly from his assessment note.

1. Evaluator: Have you ever stoped drinking in the last year.

Me: yes I stoped every week day, I was only drinking on the weekends, until two weeks ago.
-Evaluator uses stoping and starting every week to qualify for 2 or more unsuccessful attempts to stop in the last year “There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.”

1. Evaluator Have you ever had withdrawal symptoms

Me no
Evaluator Well Have you ever had a hangover? You know that’s a from of acute withdrawal
Me: yes in college, I had a few but that was years ago and I’m pretty sure the pathophysiology is different.
Evaluator uses this to count for withdrawal symptoms even tho is was more than a year ago

1. Evaluator: Have you even taken your sleeping medication on a day or night which you drank? Me: Yes, I took my prescriptions are prescribed but I never drank close to bed

Evaluator: qualified this as dangerous behavior with alcohol (where the DSM gives examples such as unprotected sex and drunk driving). The sleeping medication I was on is not a benzodiazepine therefore it is not deadly with alcohol. I personally have seen many patients in the ED who have taken their entire bottle of the medication and drank copious amounts, we just monitor them over night and rehydrate them

1. Evaluator Has anyone told you you drink to much or been worried about you Me: No I drink much less than my friends

Evaluator what about your girlfriend? Me: well she actually doesn’t drink at all she doesn’t like it. She often buys me beer for The Weeknd’s tho. One time we went to a movie and she got a little irritated because I waited for beer then complained about them not having any craft beer. So she said, “you couldn’t have just said no” and drank something else. However, she apologized after and said it’s worth waiting if it’s my only day off.
Evaluator said this qualifies for continued drinking despite causing significant relation consequences, ie divorce.

1. Evaluator : you have sleep issues I hear, and your chart says you’ve had depression in the past, don’t you know that alcohol can effect your sleep and mood Me: yes that’s why I never drink within 3 hours of sleep.

Evaluator but you knew this and still drank
Evaluator: qualifies for drinking despite unwanted physical or psychological effects (this should be recurring to effects the alcohol is causing, I have had insomnia sense the age of 10 long before I took my first sip)
7 evaluator you were late for work and told my you had a drink the day before
Me: Yes but I was late because I didn’t sleep and took double my sleeping meds, I will never do that again
Qualifies for 2 significant work or school issues in the past year ( a therapist and other psychologist ensured me that being late on or a few days doesn’t count they typically are getting fired or failing) ( moreover, this would assume I was late do to drinking it’s self and also assume if happened more than once)

1. • Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

He never once asked anything related to this question yet said I qualified in his final report 9. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects. The evaluators logic here was sense I was late for work and I had 2 beers the day before I must be taking long to recover from it (this is assuming I missed due to alcohol)

1. Tolerance drinking more to require the same effect: this he checked as true in his final note however it was never even discussed in our evaluation. I did mention to him that I’ve been drinking more than I had earlier in the year frequency wise, but they said nothing to do with quantity or needing more.
   
2. Wanting to drink so bad you can not think of anything else: this is the only qualification of SAUD my evaluator said I did not have.
   

Moreover, without legal help I was not aware that I could obtain a second evaluation or even oppose going to get evaluated at all, but that wouldn’t have mattered seeing I still thought this was for my health and wellbeing as seen when I was asked why do you think you are here to today, to which I replayed “so that I can be evaluated to see what is needed to get back to work”.
To maks the ordeal more infuriating the evaluator continues to ingratiate himself and lie through the process telling you, “it will be fine as long as you are 100% honest”, “anything you say in here is between you and me” or “you slipped up once with your meds, I know your residnecy program they will probably just want a few more out patient tests”
Two weeks later I received a phone call right before I left for an out of state vacation to visit my nice for her birthday. During the call I was informed that I would be required to complete a partial hospitalization program (PHP) lasting “6-10 weeks” which would coast from 15-50 grand not including doctor visits or housing which is billed separately. I suppressed this inconvenience, enjoyed my vocation and reported when I returned, knowing that I must complete this soon so I may return to work with due to the fact that my payed time off would soon be diminished. At this time I had not yet heard of the organization PRN.
Chapter 3 Guilty till proven innocent: The diagnosis
Shell shocked I arrived to a in patient psychiatric unit and was rapidly cleared to progress to treatment without detoxification. During my 90 day of forced rehabilitation I met a few other individuals who were unjustly and fraudulently forced into treatment. I began to look up to one of these such members of the men’s community, who I will refer to as patient X for ambiguity sake.
Unlike me patient X did have alcohol use disorder. He spent many clinic days drinking to avoid alcoholic withdraws. The curious component of his story is that he admitted his depravity, saught help and through his own journey became sober. The bodies at be, namely his local physician, Health monitoring program, rejected his personal path to sobriety and forced him to undergo 90 days of in patient treatment before he could practice medicine again. When he checked in to rehab he had been sober for over a year.
Ask for Stories of people from online
As for me I spend many sleepless nights pondering how consuming a legal substance in a moderate amount could throw me into significant legal financial issues. My labs my toxicology, my story and my collateral from colleagues from colleagues all indicated light to moderate alcohol use but my evaluators word stood as the word of God.
More frightening was the director of this rehabs acknowledgment of this. The director who happens to also coincidentally be the evaluator, stated to me as well as to staff on multiple occasions: “ I suggest inpatient treatment for everyone who is reported”. “This is safer for me not to miss anyone who could harm patients, and I figure there must be a reason someone reported them.”
I am still elucidating the reason why I was determined guilty and proven innocent, however I can say from my 90 day stent that the majority of the patients at this rehab needed to be there. This program is saving lives of both providers and patients, however it is destroying the lives of those wrongfully accused.
Chapter 4 your lisense rehab or jail : Upon arivil I was sent to a detox hospital underwent a medical examination and was “one of the lucky ones” who required no detoxification and could report directly to PHP. Like everyone else, I spent 90 days in a PHP, being as 6-10 weeks is simply a lie they tell patients to decrease the change of resisting the treatment. When discussing the topic one therapist sated “if we told patients 90 days they would never come.” She then attempted to justify the treatment by outlining the story of a patient she had called who “didn’t make it to treatment” and killed themselves”. It is my belief that it is not the lack of PHP which impelled such professionals to take their life, but them realizing that they now will be obliged to undergo 90 days of PHP, 5 years of PRN monitoring with a loss of autonomy and hundreds of thousands of dollars taken from them that induced their hopelessness. For even if these professionals were truly mentally unstable in their addictions, in every case it was only following a phone call where they were informed they must undergo treatment that they took their life’s. By this time I still haven’t the slightest clue what PRN was.
Despite the security these programs provide for many my 6 main issues with them can be summarized in : 1. Kick backs: evaluators are directors of treatment clinics 2. The reported are guilty till proven innocent 3. The price, the overflow of money these places drag in from both patients and state universities is appalling, they charge separately for every visit and test 4. Although they make the claim that they are individualized, they are anything but. Every patient gets the same stay and treatment from the doctor drunk on the job and the one who was late to a shift 5. They force voluntary treatment. remember that friendly evaluator who promised he had your best interest at heart, so you opened up and told him everything about your substance use/ developmental / family history, well if you don’t stay for 90 days he will be “normally obliged” to tip the board of medical off to you.

1. The programs have overstepped their intended jurisdiction. -these programs work well if they function how they were intended at their inception. Cite original purpose. Originally these programs were designed to protect physicians and civilians from impaired practitioners; being healthcare workers who were impaired at work. Over the years, these organizations have extended their authority to encompass individuals with substance use disorders When not at work and also those who are in training to become healthcare professionals. Take for example myself compared to a physician who is impaired at work. A doctor who arrived for duty under the influence would surely benifit from the extensive testing, therapy and accountability enforced via these programs. In accordance the 20,000$ per year cost is appropriate when only making up roughly 7% of their yearly salary vs nearly half of a residents. In my case with my loss of income from employment, coast of treatment and monitoring, this year I will be required to pay 20,000$ to work. Yes, I will be losing money to work. Even if did indeed have a substance use disorder this level of monitoring wouldn’t not be considered appropriate.

Dispite all of the miscomings of this System My time spend in PHP was indeed helpful, as I believe it would be for anyone. Time for exercise, a reprieve from work and weekly counseling. A sample structure of my day to day schedule is provided below for insight:
Structure The general structure of these rehabitation centers is as follows: 1. One week of orientation phase, where you are not allowed in electronics or contact with the outside world world. Therefore, if you’re going, bring some things you would like to read or study. 2. In phase 2, you can use your phone however you cannot leave campus. You must stay in the dorm on campus. These shitty 1 room run down apartments with two other roommates will cost you about $1000 a week, they are required for at least four weeks and they are billed separately, no insurance will help you out here. 3. In phase 3 you can commute to campus if you beg your therapist and live very close. Whether you’re on campus or living off-campus, you are allowed to leave up to four hours per day. If you commute, you’ll be required to take a sober link decide you must Breath, alcohol test into every 6 hours. Like everything else in this program you must pay for this separately, a few hundred dollars a week. You advanced to other phases by completing assignments, however, assignments are limited by required built-in time, intrusive, scheduling, and reviewing. Therefore, if you do everything as rapidly as possible phase 1 will take one week phase 2 will take three weeks.
Every day schedule:
7:30: wake up, report to the front desk to inform them that you haven’t ran away yet and take and prescribed medications. They keep all your medications and require that you report to take them; for me this was antidepressants in an attempt to dispel the depression I contracted from being forced into treatment and whatever off label medication they were attempting to treat my ADHD with, since control medications were forbidden.
8 am: community group assessments This consisted of other patients presenting their assignments amongst the large group, on the weekends this was often an hour later and 12 study regularly took the place of assignment presentation.
10 am: process group. This was a two hour group therapy session with 6 to 12 other professionals in a therapist and training or occasionally a licensed mental health therapist.
1 pm: recreation This was generally about an hour of some sober themed craft or activity. Once a week this time slot was used for yoga.
2 pm: this was another time slot used for patients to present assignments as well as for individual therapy sessions. Each patient had one individual therapy session lasting 30 minutes per week.
3pm: This was time allotted to work on assignments or go to the gym on your sex specific scheduled gym day.
5pm: this time was used for guest speakers or another 12 step study group.
6 pm : this was generally an off-campus 12 step group
10 pm: report to the front desk and let them know you still haven’t ran away and take and Medication which are prescribed to take at night, then return to your cot bed in your room with 1-2 other roommates.
I found the community to be one of the most beneficial aspects of the PHP program. I was in a cohort of chill ass professionals of the same occupation who were always there to help each other.
Assignments The curriculum of the PHP consisted of assignment based on every step of the 12th step program. Generally, a patient would be required to complete an assignment on their own, review it with other patients, then faculty and finally present the assignment in front of the whole treatment group. You’re only given one assignment at a time and there are multiple steps to each which all requires scheduling this ensures that no matter how determined a patient is a full 90 days of treatment is required to complete all the assignments.
AA structure -the obsolete nature of AA has been verified in numbers studies, but I will refrain from divulging here and lend that endeavor to Dr. Lance Dodes very thorough discussion on the subject,in “the sober truth “
In all sincerity, if I truely did have a severe use disorder this experience could have been life saving. I only wish I could have used my 50 grand for someone who has spent their life time In addictive without reprieve. My first conversation when I was given my phone back was how I wish my father could be able to attend this PHP.
Chapter 5 reporting and PRN Self reporting What they ask you What you should tell them
There’s a third-party agency called professional resource network. Every state has their own. This agency works as a liaison between you and whatever credentialing service your occupation requires. Essentially they ensure your monitoring after treatment. Stake governments and licensing boards trust them, mainly because they monitor with the highest level of intrusiveness. This alleviates much work for state governments and licensing boards because once an individual is being monitored by a professional resource network, then they are deemed appropriate for duty and no further investigation/litigation needs to occur, as long as the monitored individual completely complies.
Because I was never impaired at work I was never reported to this agency. The general workflow of things someone would report you to professional resource network, then the resource network would contact you, and then you would be required to report for an evaluation at a treatment center, which would inevitably result in a suggestion I’ve treatment at that given treatment center. In my case I was sent to the treatment center without PRN being involved. Thus, two weeks into treatment. I was notified by my therapist that I needed to call PRN and self report. I attempted to resistance given that I did not have a problem and was not individually seeking help. I asked what happened if I didn’t self report. I was told that in order to stay in the treatment program I had to report to PRN. This meant either I report to PRN or I get kicked out of the treatment program and lose my job.
When you report to PRN they will ask you why you are in treatment. They will then list off every substance imaginable, asking you if you have ever tried the substance and when your last use was. Ultimately, they will obtain your discharge information from your treatment center, so it is in your best interest to report only what was found in your biochemical testing. If it wasn’t in your hair, I would argue that you don’t have a use disorder regarding that substance and it’s not relevant. I don’t believe it’s important for them to know that you smoked weed when you were 12.
Chapter 6 The contract:
Before being discharged from a treatment facility, a professional resource network will have you sign a contract. A little known fact which I was oblivious to is that contracts can be negotiated. Though this isn’t it possible, it is highly improbable that you can negotiate your contract since PRN has a power to delay your clearance to return to work.
Contractor almost never personalized, and I have not heard of a contract which is not a five-year agreement. You will sign releases of information so that PRN has access to all of your information which was gathered at the treatment facility. You must have a therapist, psychiatrist, primary care, doctor, and a addiction, medicine psychiatrist. You assign releases of information for all of them. You will be required To commit to: 1. three mutual aid meetings a week which you must log. I log smart recovery meetings. 2. Weekly therapy sessions with an approved mental health therapist from their list 3. Monthly doctors appointments with an addiction medicine psychiatrist 4. Yearly appointments with a primary care physician 5. Monthly appointments with a psychiatrist 6. Daily check-ins on a random drug testing app ( you will agree to weekly urine tests, a peth test 4 times a year, a hair test twice a year and a little caveat that says anything else they deem, clinically reasonable) 7. Quarterly update reports which you are required to obtain from a workplace monitor, therapist, addiction, medicine, psychiatrist, primary care physician and any other doctor you are seeing. 8. You must upload all of your prescriptions into a mobile application every single time you get them refilled and are not allowed to take them until they are approved. 9. Attendance of a PRN group via zoom. This is a local group you are assigned along with other monitored practitioners. There is a fee of roughly 130$ a month to attend this required group. For me all of these requirements coast around 20,000 a year. If you ever have a positive test even if it is the result of contamination from rubbing alcohol or unintentional ingestion of alcohol/ allergy medication your contract will rest to 5 years from the time of positive test. Once your five year contract is completed, you must ask to be released from monitoring. At that point they will search for any reason to keep you under monitoring. This could be dilute urines, daily check ins or a week where you did not attend mutual aid meetings. Every certification and license which you apply for will likely ask you if you were under a monitoring program/ have been treated for substance use. You must give an explanation and check yes. As far as licensing programs are concerned, if you were under the monitoring of PRN, you are safe, however they group practitioners who have had behavioral issues with practitioners who were diverting drugs from work. Therefore, keep in mind that you will be labeled as a sever addict.
7 Back to work and only work. During treatment your only goal is to return to work, however when you return your experience will be drastically distinct from what you remember. For me, I was now working in isolation. Missing six months of my training meant that no other Resident was on the same rotation as me. My coworkers at all formed friend groups. When I returned I was greeted with much concern for my well being. No one would speak to be about my absence, however everyone knew there is only one reason a resident would leave for 6 months then return. My Accdeemic meetings were consisting of attending telling me “I have a target on my back now” and “ I have to preform even better than others” in the light of my time missed. If this wasn’t alienating enough, the majority of Resident events, sponsored by recruiters and my university revolved around alcohol to which I had to give some excuse to why I can not partake with others. I’m fortunate that I do not have an addiction, because these stressful conditions along with the daunting amount of dead and requirements imposed by PRN are enough to make any addict relapse. While I was at treatment, I was in the dative with Samyr stories a physicians whose addictions got the best of them. Physicians who did not make it to treatment, often taking their own life. These stories were presented as a warning. Your addictions will kill you without our treatment was the message. When, in reality I did not hear one story in which the addiction killed physician. Every physician who didn’t make it to treatment took their life after being told they must report to a treatment facility. Perhaps they knew what this entailed and it was not their addiction or getting caught which caused them to end their lives, but the unmanageable and often unreasonable burden that treatment would put on their lives.
9 How to escape So your fucked your in PRN and should be or you should and now your recovered and want to terminated your contract.

1. You ask to be released early done at 1/2 time ( good luck)
2. You have “good reason” (no one has ever been let out of contract because of this reason, the verbiage is far too vague)
3. You serve all your time and they let you out(maybe, as discussed earlier, they would do everything they can to keep you in your contract as long as your practicing)
4. You can’t practice medicine anymore

10 Layer up butter cup : I cannot emphasize the extent to which legal help is required in this process. You much seek it and seek it early. Lawyers can provide many avenues to you early in the process. Once you have committed to treatment, gone for evaluation or are in a PRN contract , this is very little that you or legal help can do. Spend a few thousand dollars when you are accused and save the 20-30,000 later.
After you have been evaluated if you disagree as I did, then this is the process you must undergo. 1. Hire a occupation, defense, lawyer 2. Prove you don’t have an addiction, this is done by having an alternative evaluator with similar credentials state that either you don’t have an addiction or that PRN’s level of monitoring is not medically appropriate ( this will need to be a multi day neuropsychological evaluation, which will cost about $5000). 3. Your lawyer must draft in writing that the medical level of monitoring is not required such as another medical professional and send this to PRN 4. PRN will tattle on you to the board of medicine. 5. The board of medicine will conduct an investigation. 6. At the end or when they believe they have enough reasonable evidence to the board of medicine will suspend your license or claim, you must comply with the PRN contract to practice. 7. At this time your lawyer will defend you in the state court against the board. This is costly but much less than the coast of a 5 year PRN contract 8. If you win you will likely suggest an alternative level of care such as gonna get therapy every week. If you lose, than you wasted a fuck ton of money and are still bound by your PRN contract.
Overall this entire process has coast me Over all coast:
My finances for this year only including PRN and rent are as follows:
120-200$ every week for testing 480-800/ month
65 every week for therapy 195/month
125 every month for PRN group
About 50-69 every month for 2 doctor apts
So at least 745$/month at the lowest
Treatment at the recovery center coast 20,000 for me out of pocket and
I wasn’t payed for 6 months with no FMLA because I am a first year. At the 1 year mark I will have made 26,000 this year after taxes And payed About 29,000 on PRN alone
Rent is 1,000 so that’s 12,000 a year
Just in rent and PRN alone I will be at 26,000- 41,600 -15,600.
I will be in debt by at least 18,000 at the 1 year mark
Coast of treatment center 20,000 (with insurance) For each year of PRN roughly 20,000 Add that to 6 months of attending salary which was delayed due to my treatment time: at least 150,000 Layer coasts along with other evaluations 25,000 Missing 6 months of residency pay 30,000 Coast of 1 year in monitoring: 245,000 Coast of 5 years 325,000
If my case progress to a trail I will require an extra 20,000 in court coasts
Chapter 11 My secondary eval: Dr sushi After I arrived at my treatment center I challenge my evaluation multiple times. Each and every time I was discharged and often accused of alternate mental health/ substance abuse issues to discourage my advances. I was never given the opportunity to undergo alternative assessment, however PRN guidelines state that you can obtain a second option within 7 days of your first. This is a mute point, however, because you will not receive the results of your evaluation until over a week after it is conducted and the second evaluation must be conducted by another PRN hired evaluator of their choosing. During my stay in rehab I contacted PRN multiple times to attempt another evaluation/ legal help. They warned against both stating they were a “waste of money” and “pointless”.
After completing my treatment with the guidance of many addiction, experienced physicians, mental health counselors and psychiatrists recommendations I sought in a secondary evaluation. I chose a highly qualified professional with over 30 years of experience to conduct an extensive neuo psycho social evaluation of me. One that I was sure would be more extensive than the evaluation I received at treatment and more importantly an unbiased evaluation.
The results from my evaluation not only showed that I did not have a substance abuse problem warranting PRN level monitoring, but also that PRN was falling to allow adequate treatment of other conditions such as my ADHD. My evaluation showed my ADHD was not only untreated by PRNs attempt at using non controlled medication, but also in the top 3% most severe presentations of ADHD. My evaluator went on to explain my results by questioning why my treatment center even mandated I undergo neuro cognitive evaluation. The only neurodiverse findings were my IQ, my dyslexia and my ADHD. However, a neuo cognitive examination can be billed separately by treatment centers, therefore they always recommend one.
Chapter 12 Amongst its greed, intrusive nature and faulty accusations, professional recourse network function highly proficiently at the task they were designed to; protective physicians and patients from physicians who are impaired at work. In this domain they save lives, offer second changes and protect the public. When they act beyond their intended jurisdiction by imposing unnecessary monetary demands on practitionersin training, accuse practitioners without proof or act on behavior exemplified outside of a work setting they unjustly and inappropriately attack the week and innocent.
Proposed reform: As a trainee my universities malpractice insurance covers me for mistakes made at work. If a learner mistakenly harms a patient, then the university stands on their behalf. If the learner does something wrong under a teachers direct guidance, then the teacher is at fault. This makes sense logically as well as pragmatically. The state entrusts large amounts of money to hospital systems and universities to train resident physicians. A portion of this money is allocated to malpractice insurance. This should extend to accused impairment.
Suppose a training university was required to cover rehabilitation and monitoring of a resident of whom they claim is impaired. Alternatively they have the option of firing the trainee. This would reduce the number of innocent trainees being accused of impairment, make the process of rehabilitation more fair and provide a better use for tax payer derived dollars, which hospital systems are given to train residents. The truly impaired could still seek help, less false accusations would be made and with the employers having the ability to fire at the moment of impairment, there would be less chance of impairment at work.

Will be dropping the name somewhere sa gitna ng post. Pero recently my friend saw a hiring from her previous work. Isang SG Law firm ito. Pero nawala din yung hiring post. Probably meron na siyang nakitang for interview na potential candidate. Sorry kung super haba but I want to want people na hindi worth it yung sweldo kung sobrang bulok ng management and parang hindi ka tao itrato.
I really don't know where to start kasi sobrang redflag ng firm na ito and even though hindi ako ang directly nag work for this firm, I saw first hand kung anong nangyayari sa firm. From internal problems sa firm hanggang sa kind ng service na na pprovide nila sa mga clients bagsak na bagsak.
Simulan ko siguro dito...MICROMANAGER ANG LAWYER (MAY ARI NG FIRM). He constantly reiterates na he's not a micromanager and he doesnt like to meddle in the work of his people. Boy you're in for a pleasant surprise. Micromanager na napaka OC. Sa sobrang pagka micro manager niya, bubusisiin niya pati message na issend mo sa client. "We'll get back to you soonest" sabihin mo sa client, he will call you out and say "we dont say soonest. We say 2-3 days." Tapos only authorized to stick to the "script" ng auto replies sa clients, do not deviate daw. (so kahit hindi appropriate hanap ka nalang ng close) And then when you do send that holding message to the client he will say "Use your brain and think if it's appropriate"
Delayed sweldo. Ang sabi papasweldo tuwing katapusan, you'd have to follow up pa sa kanya para mag pa sweldo siya. Tapos magagalit siya na nag follow up ka. next time no need to follow up daw. Pero same pa din sa susunod na month delayed pa din and mahihiya ka mag follow up.
If I remember correctly, my friends said he only started hiring PH remote paralegals last october 2023, 4 initial hires and by january parang 5 or 6 na sila daw. Ung isang kasamahan nila, bigla nalang daw inalisan ng access sa outlook and sa dropbox without even saying anything sa tao na yun. Tapos nung kinausap bakit walang access, ang sabi matigas daw ang ulo kaya tatanggalin na siya.
He isn't just a micromanager, bully din siya. Ilang beses ko nakita umiyak ung friend ko sa sobrang pagka frustrated dahil pag sumunod ka (which mali mali naman ang utos kaya ang pangit ng firm) tapos pangit outcome galit sayo. And pag d ka sumunod and ginawa mo ung tama kahit ok outcome galit pa din sayo kasi hindi ka sumunod. Ang hirap lumugar. Sobrang trauma na ung friend ko bago mag message sa client mag tatanong pa muna saming barkada if tingin ba namin appropriate ung issend niya tapos sobra anxiety niya everyday kasi baka bigla siyang icall out. Nakakaawa mga tao don. Even their on site staff nakakaawa. That's just scratching the surface. Sobrang daming BS sa Tembusu Law na yan. Jonathan Wong ang poster sa OLJ.
As to the services they provide sa clients, Una sa lahat, bulok ang services nila. Sa sobrang sabog nila they miss deadlines and meetings and court hearings and then proceed to blame the paralegals who didnt "remind" or put the hearing dates on the calendar. When in fact these paralegals don't even have access to those dates. Kung saan makikita or mahahanap. How the hell will they know diba. Bukod dyan, I remember one story about a client na nag terminate ng service nila. Crim client daw ito and may investigation ata na naka sched na kailangan humarap sa police ng client. Sa sobrang sabog ng firm d nila alam ano uunahin so the weren't able to prep the client for that scheduled thingy. You know what the lawyer said? "Fake an illness get a certificate" para daw ma excuse and siguro ma resched. Nagalit ung nanay nung client anong klaseng advice daw yun.
Bukod diyan, since ang gulo nga internally, the don't respond to clients. They usa whatsapp and have GCs with the clients, it takes them days - weeks to respond to a simple yes or no questions. Pag nagalit ang client ang sisi nasa paralegals bakit hindi nag ssend ng "auto messages".
The pay sa OLJ na nakalay is 35k-45k, pero they're only actually offering 20,000 pesos lang as compensation sa Advertised rate sa OLJ is 35k-65k pesos. Scammer tlga. May inalis ata sila eh tapos papalitan kasi para mas mababa ang ipapasahod kaya ata nag hahanap.
Also found out he'll be interviewing someone tonight. Good luck sayo. Mag isip ka maigi and wag magpadala sa narcissist na yan.

Hi, I`m new to this subreddit so nice meet yas :)
So I`ll cut to the chase here, I believe I may be dealing with maladaptive dreaming and haven`t had a name for it.. up till now. So like a lot of people who have maladaptive dreaming I used to live in a traumatic situation and it was around this time I began daydreaming as a coping strategy.
I would create incredibly intricate worlds in my head, down to all the details, names, everything. To a point I would draw these characters and have them talking and everything. And although years have passed since then I still remember almost everything about these worlds.
Fast forward out of the situation, the daydreaming came with me, and the worlds continued. In depth worlds, where sometimes I would revert to the ones from way back when and other times would continue with others. And since reading about maladaptive dreaming I`ve come to realize I display a number of traits that fall under it.

• For me daydreaming can feel more like a repetitive thought process. I often will revert to the same characters and situations. This vary`s alongside complex storylines, often inspired by music or other media.
  
• Even when my brain`s exhausted and I actually want to stop daydreaming I find myself unable to turn it off even to the point of losing sleep over it. And I can lose a whole day, hours even, just daydreaming
  
• It`s at a point daydreaming for me feels less like daydreaming and more like a trance like state. It`s like my brains addicted. I even often feel the physical effects of almost being like drugged, my brain will be foggy and sometimes I`ll even feel a bit shaky. It almost feels like my brain`s straddling between two worlds, and sometimes I have difficulty telling what is just my imagination or real, like emotions for example. If a character in my daydream is feeling a certain way I can feel it too.
  
• I`ll find myself craving my daydreams and getting attached to the my worlds and the characters within them, the thought of letting them go, it makes my stomach lurch and panic start up internally. Even if that means spending money on a app that I can`t afford
  
• In the past I have caught myself mouthing what my characters are saying, doing hand gestures also like my characters, and even talking to myself as my characters without realizing it.
  
• It`s almost impossible for me to listen to music without reverting to one of my worlds and I`ll bounce on the trampoline, kick a ball absentmindedly, pace around a room, or even go jogging all while daydreaming with it. I know physical activity is stimulus for our brains so yeahhh.. I`ve even described myself in jest as being addicted to the trampoline and music, even when in the past my ears have ached and I`ve wanted to put the music down but just didn`t
  

As I`m writing this I`m realizing just how much everything ticks the boxes.. The thing is although I know what I have is probably Maladaptive Daydreaming it`s not at a point where it impacts my life severely. And I`m not sure whether it needs to be at that point or not to be maladaptive.
Plus I don`t wanna let my worlds go... I can`t. It`s my safety net, and I know for a fact that if it wasn`t for it, I would have drowned years ago. And I`ve been at it for so long it feels like a part of me now, if I let that go I`d be letting my legit lifetime of stories, world building, slip away.
But at the same time, I have a partner and a life I plan to have with her. I don`t want to wait for this to get to a point where it starts doing damage if it is Maladaptive.
Anyway thanks for reading if you have, I appreciate it 🙂