Hello! I'm about to jump back into the query trenches and thought I'd see what you fine folks had to say about the query letter. It's my first time querying horror and came across the term "light horror" which I think fits my story. It's not overly gory but it's essentially a haunted house story. If that's not the right term, please let me know. Either way, thanks for looking it over! I included the first 300 words below as well because why the hell not.
Dear Agent,
I'm seeking representation for my adult fiction novel CENTER VALLEY. I read on your [agency] bio of your interest in [something] and thought it would be a good fit for your list.
CENTER VALLEY is a light horror novel complete at 75,000 words. It will interest fans of HOW TO SELL A HAUNTED HOUSE by Grady Hendrix and THE SEPTEMBER HOUSE by Carissa Orlando.
Ben Baker never thought flipping a house would lead to a maniac attacking his family with a hammer.
He inherited his father’s hardware store and has been doing everything he can to keep it open, including dipping into his family’s savings account. His wife Hannah trusts him with the family finances until she gets into a car accident and finds out there’s not nearly as much in the bank as she thought.
Ben’s brother Hank offers a way to make some quick money—buy a foreclosed house on the outskirts of town and flip it themselves. With no other idea of how to replace the money, Ben reluctantly agrees.
But when they finally get into the house, they find something in the attic that neither can explain. A house—complete with windows, a roof, and a bathroom—sits behind a makeshift wall of thin plywood. Hank is curious but Ben is immediately unsettled, and neither can say exactly why.
Soon, Ben sees shadows move in ways they shouldn’t, hears strange noises from the attic, and realizes that they have a lot more to worry about than simply finishing the remodel within their budget when the strange occurrences follow him home.
[bio]
Thanks,
[me]
First 300 words:
I would’ve hugged my daughter a little tighter if I had known a madman would attack her with a hammer before her next birthday. But of course, there was no way for me to know so instead I just threw my empty beer bottle at Hank’s kneecap.
“Ah jeez look at that,” I said. This was one of our dad’s top moves. The other was to simply drop the empty bottle between his feet—he could be standing in the kitchen right next to Mom, it didn’t matter—and stare you in the eyes with this dumb grin on his face.
Hank just laughed and reached into the cooler on the opposite side of his lawn chair. Birthday parties are incredibly easy when your brother has a daughter the same age as yours. He pulled out another High Life and threw it back to me. April 26th was a tough birthday in middle Wisconsin. Depending on the year, you could get a nice spring-like day or a snowstorm. We lucked out this year.
“Why didn’t you get the big one?” Hank said, nodding to the bounce house that filled up more than half of my backyard.
“He didn’t want to pay for the semi to deliver it,” said Hannah. My wife of nine years. She was only five feet tall but goddamn she was a giant to me. Have you ever been afraid of a person you could throw through a window with one arm? That was her. Worthless on moving day but you didn’t want to see her get angry. I used to joke that she had an amplifier in her ribcage. The decibel level she could reach was freakish and downright terrifying, especially if you didn’t see it coming. She once stopped a dog fight just by screaming as loud as she could.

Just had an interview with a huge beverage company and it was the worst interview I've ever been a part of.
To start the 3rd party HR company sent an invite to the interview without any sort of job title attached and no ability to change the interview time. It was just here is your zoom interview, make it happen. I had applied to multiple positions with the company.
The interviewer is 10 minutes late and apologizes and says he sent a text. Next got that text. This old guy pulls up my resume and is clearly reading it off for the first time. We walk through my experience then he of course asks what I know about the position. I start going through it and he says nothing. We have a brief exchange and he asks if I have any questions. I start asking about salary and based off his answer I realized we were not even discussing the position I thought the interview was for.
This is when the interview takes a big turn and he basically glorifies a bilingual internal candidate and says he's going to be chosen. Immediately I know this is a giant waste of time. I made sure I prepared and could be on zoom at that time and he continues to talk up this other candidate saying how he's going to step down for the opportunity to work for him. Now he starts glorifying himself and all the amazing things he's done in his career. Half the interview was this guy talking about how amazing this other candidate and himself are.
He then proceeds to say don't worry its not a diversity hire, I'm very straightforward and up front, some people like it others don't. Take it how u want.
He asked if I had any questions and I just said yeah I did but yeah not any longer. Thanks for your time. It's hard to believe ppl like this guy are in charge and gatekeep these positions.
Now further dejected from these hiring processes. It's so completely demoralizing and a fucking joke. Wtf.

Let me be clear: Ender's Shadow is my favorite book of all time, and Bean is my favorite character in fiction.
However, I just cannot stand some of the later parts of the Shadow series. Card really gets preachy about the "children are everything" "unborn embryos are holy" "the only purpose of humans is to breed" and religious beliefs of that sort. Not to mention the few but glaring cultural stereotypes Card wrote in in his efforts to simplify global affairs down to a casual audience.
In short, I love Ender's Shadow, Shadows of the Hegemon, and to a point, Shadows in Flight. But I hate having Cards reproductive opinions forced down my throat (and some other issues). This may be controversial, but I've come up with some retcons I use (I'm only partially joking here)

1. Add +5 years to characters age. I get the whole "children have the ability to learn but none of the experiences/biases so they make better soldiers" but I think he cuts the age range a little close when Bean enters battle school at 5, marries and has kids at about 16 at my best guess.
   
2. Remember the plot holes and retcons in character growth, and note them. This seems pretty simple, but it's interesting how many of the characters seem to drastically change between books in a contradictory way.
   
3. In Shadow Puppets and Shadow of the Giant, especially the latter, replace "embryos" with "chaos emeralds" (or the macguffin of your choice). I also tend to mostly ignore the more preachy parts where it seems like Card is talking more to the reader than expressing the characters (the scene where Petra and Bean talk to Anton in Spain sticks out).
   
4. Most importantly, READ CRITICALLY. Understand who the writer is, no matter if you agree with him or not, and take some time when reading to determine how the characters are shaped by Card and his beliefs. There's nothing wrong with interpreting the characters in your own way, and you may come out with a different lesson than if you had read by the book.
   

If anyone disagrees or has a different perspective, let me know in the comments, I'm super happy to discuss!

[JB CM SEPT ß-1/10] Septenary REDDIT
[JB CM SEPT ß-2/10] Septenary 'Fundamentals’ REDDIT
[JB CM SEPT ß-3/10] Septenary 'Fundamentals Extended 1.1’ REDDIT
CM Septenary DRIVE
Hello and good day to all the fine people of worldbuilding. This is day 4 post 4 of my 10 part series of the release of ‘Septenary’, a creative tool from the project ‘Canon Mode.’ I’m not in a great mood right now because I’m begrudgingly writing this again after a couple days ago when after spending an hour writing this post it got lost in the ether when I tried posting it. F!@# my life. Well whatever doesn’t kill you makes you brighter no one says. So if this post is a little lackluster that’s the excuse I’m using.
And actually on that note, how is everyone actually doing, actually? I’m asking because I haven’t had any feedback on any of these posts yet. I’ve been getting upvotes, which means that at least some of you are liking the posts but that’s all I got. So if anyone’s got the time I’d be really interested in hearing what you guys have to say. I’m not just talking positive feedback or constructive criticism I literally want to know anything you think about it. Basically everything I work on has a reason it was chosen to be made that way, so even something as simple as “the term you used in that one your groups sounds weird” might have a bigger impact than you think because those are the types of things I ultimately take account of.
CM SEPT 2 Fundamentals Extended 1.2 SHEET COLOR
CM SEPT 2 Fundamentals Extended 1.2 SHEET GRAYSCALE
Today we’ll be looking at the ‘Attributes’ group of the ‘Fundamentals’ septenary. This group was originally created with the intent of aiding with character design. The issue when trying to create such a group was that it’s impossible to create a list of all the different types of species and beings that exist. So instead of trying to make a giant list it was instead easier to create a more basic list of things that can then go on to further define the features of something else.
(ATTRIBUTES)
The term ‘Attributes’ was chosen specifically when making this group because the advantage of focusing on just the attributes of certain things means that this entire group is not just applicable to character creation but as well anything else that might have defining features of some sort. To start customizing and giving attributes to things it’s first needed to have something one is wanting to customize. A character, a house, a car, an outfit, a smartphone, or anything else really that’s either tangible or physical can be given any of these attributes.
{MYSTICAL}
The mystical subgroup describes things related to God, spirituality, or the supernatural. Things like halos and wings, horns and pointed tails, clouds and heavenliness, fire and brimstone, religious figures and symbols are all things that might be considered mystical in nature. If one were to take into account ‘Biblically accurate angels’ then we might see giant floating dismembered body parts as mystical attributes as well. Generally speaking though anything that could be considered magical might be something that could be described as having mystical attributes.
{EXTRATERRESTRIAL}
The word ‘extraterrestrial’ was chosen over the word ‘alien’ specifically because of the implication of each word. Extraterrestrial describes things whose origin exists outside of Earth or whatever planet is being discussed. Alien on the other hand only implies that something is foreign to whatever is being described. The difference being is that something that’s extraterrestrial has a completely different origin than something that’s from Earth or a particular planet. The term alien on the other hand doesn’t necessarily describe this, as something that is alien could be foreign but still be of the same origin. That is to say something alien can still be related to the thing being described while something extraterrestrial has no relation to what’s being described.
{MYTHICAL}
The word ‘Mechanical’ was also chosen over the words ‘cyborg’ or ‘robot’ because they were too limiting otherwise. Cyborg and robot are terms which only describe mechanical beings, not necessarily anything else that might be mechanical. You could have a mechanical bird, or maybe mechanical food, or even a mechanical tree. Anything could be mechanical really if one has enough motivation, inspiration and determination.
{MYTHICAL}
When first creating the ‘Mythical’ subgroup it was in an attempt to create a complete list of every mythical being. The problem? That’s impossible, because there are an infinite amount of beings that are already either well established or could be created otherwise. Some of the common ones might be elves, fairies, werewolves, undead, giants, warlocks/wizards/witches, ghosts/spirits, orcs/trolls, dwarves/gnomes, and many many more.
{NATURALISTIC}
The word ‘naturalistic’ was chosen for this subgroup specifically so it could include both forest people and furry people. Walking, talking plants, trees, and animals were the inspiration for this subgroup, basically anything that’s found in a forest could apply. There are a lot of other things that could also be considered naturalistic too though. Rocks, water features, dirt/sand, or anything else really that relates to nature.
{OBJECTIFIED}
Unlike most of the subgroups in the Attributes group, ‘Objectified’ is not a well established idea such as the others. The idea with the objectified subgroup was for it to describe in particular living inanimate beings. Features of objectified things might include blank or missing features, ultra rounded or sharply edged parts, ridged or impossible statures, or exaggerated and unreal characteristics. Really anything that looks like an object could be considered as part of the ‘Objectified’ subgroup.
{SPECTRAL}
This last group is a bit more tricky because the typical defining feature of spectres is that they’re transparent or invisible. That doesn’t leave much room to work with. Other ideas for spectral attributes might include auras, glowingness, dull flat colors and shading, soft edges, broken or damaged parts, wisps, and in general anything ethereal or spirit-like in nature. While not always possible, another feature of spectral things is that they float. They are also typically intangible, meaning they can pass through physical things. The unfortunate difficulty when describing something spectral is that many of the things that could be described this way depend on context and might be situational.
Generally speaking though it could be said that things that are spectral exist on a spectrum. This is because the definition of spectral is ‘of a spectrum.’ It’s not exactly clear what that actually means, but it could be seen as a starting point or inspiration
{Conclusion}
Usually I try to end with something insightful or profound but for this post I just don’t have it. I’m not necessarily upset over the time I spent and lost over the prior version of this post that I was working on as much as it is very upsetting that I lost the specific work I wrote. While I’m pretty sure I still covered the important ideas for this installment there still were a few very specific things that I wrote that I’ll never remember. I think the worst part about rewriting this post wasn’t that I necessarily couldn’t remember everything I wanted to say, it’s just that the inspiration to write it was gone. The quality of this post as a result really plummeted because of the fact that I was already aware of everything I wrote and no longer had that initial inspiration.
I think if I were to end on any note this time I’d say I think it’s interesting the progression from when I first came up with this idea to how it turned out. It started with me trying to list literally every type of entity or being someone might want to make into a character. Then it turned into trying to make a group of base characteristics which could then go on to define an already existent being. And it was only later that I came to the conclusion that it was possible to make the group more general by calling it attributes which opens it up to it being able to describe pretty much anything that has defining features of some sort. I think being aware of that progression has been a very valuable learning experience for me because it explores further these sort of all-encompassing ideas.
That’s all for this post. Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a wonderful day!

I loved it sm!! My first thoughts are how pretty it was, im a sucker for rainbows and pastel skys, it was so beautiful!! I really loved how funny sunny was but still being supportive to her friends. I also liked how much fun they were having when travelling to the machine, it makes me happy when theyre happy lol :') i did feel bad for the pegasnail tho 😭 now for my theory on why and how theres a giant rainbow making machine in the sky 😼 i think that twilight knew when separating the ponies that there will be no one to make the rainbows as it was the pegasus who made them (im think lol) so she put that up their to do it for them until they could be reunited again OR before they were separated and still had magic maybe the pegasus put it up their for convenience as their technology advanced so they would have more opportunities for other destinies >:3

A lot came to light, at least in my mind, when Biden snubbed Tesla in regards to the "White House EV summit," and whatever that second meeting was.. (Mary Barra worship?). The Democrats don't care about clean energy.
Why has every Democrat funded clean energy project in the past miserably failed while laundering money straight into politician's pockets? Why is it that every solar or wind farm has become dilapidated, ineffective, and has been labeled as a huge waste of taxpayer money and subsequently destroyed the reputation of clean energy? Why does every clean energy subsidy end up with shitty EVs like the Bolt and the Prius, then result in auto companies trading meaningless credits? The answer is becoming more and more clear as Tesla becomes more and more successful.. because the Democrats don't want clean energy to become commercially viable. In fact, they want to ensure that clean energy *doesn't* become commercially viable or widespread.
The Democrats have a vested interest in stopping clean energy because, should clean energy become widespread, they would no longer have that talking point to gain votes and maintain power. No one will care about climate change when 90% of the cars on the road are EVs, and the energy sector is 70% solar and wind with an obvious disruption playing out. Plus, think of all those terrible greenwashing projects that will no longer be lining the Democrats' pockets.
Now that there's real potential towards a clean energy revolution, the Democrats must try their hardest to squash the threat. And who's the threat to their power? Tesla. So how would the Democrats go about tarnishing Tesla's brand image? Cancelling Elon, of course. That'll be easy because he's rich. A lot of highly visible Democratic politicians have quite the loyal following after all. I refer to them as the "Woke Cult," because they are a cult subservient to narratives pushed on them, especially the ones that anger them or trigger their personal insecurities. Rich people *definitely* trigger their personal insecurities.
One of the tactics that Democrats and the Woke Cult use is to place blame of public perception onto the target. In this case, "It's Elon's fault because of what he tweets." But with some basic logic and memory of past events we can easily debunk this. It started in 2021 when Elizabeth Warren paid for ads on Facebook to run a smear campaign lying about Elon not paying taxes. That's how this started: with a lie. And it escalated from there with more lies, such as the insinuation that $6B could solve world hunger (it can't) while conveiently ignoring that the Biden administration has way more than $6B at their disposal (double standards show up a lot in extremist cults), or something about a fictitious emerald mine. There's nothing in the 2021 smear campaign story that had anything to do with what Elon was tweeting.
However, now you hear "Well Elon says anti-semitic things on Twitter" or "Elon is right wing!" None of which mattered to the Woke Cult prior to 2021. Nothing Elon says, does, does not say or does not do is going to keep the Woke Cult from hating him. They hate him for the same reason they're subservient to narratives puched on them to begin with.. because they have personal insecurities. The only way Tesla's brand image is going to be cleansed in the eyes of the woke cult is if they a) acknowledge they have personal problems, b) want to get better and c) go to therapy. So long as they're emotionally unwell, they will believe lies in order to justify their hatred of Elon and avoidance of their own personal problems. And the only way Tesla's brand image can be cleansed in the eyes of the non-woke public is to be more educated on the company and its amazing products (spread the word and your excitement for your Tesla).
You even hear Tesla investors blaming Elon for the giant smear campaign against him. The more you fear the woke cult's perception of someone or something, and the less you acknowledge the cult's toxic behavior, the more power they have.
If anything, Elon's response of opposition to the woke mind virus is making the best of the shitty situation. At least by acknowledging the cult's toxic cancel culture, he gains respect in the eyes of those who also see it. 10 involuntary steps back, but at least 1 forward.
The Democrats, along with their loyal cult followers, have now joined the oil companies and Wall Street in trying to end Tesla. This is what the largest and most abrupt disruption on the planet looks like.
If you care about clean energy, or climate change, then you should vote for literally anyone besides a Democrat. If the Democrats, the woke cult, and little Greta *actually* cared about clean energy, they would be praising Elon and Tesla for all they've accomplished. At least Republicans care about maintaining a market free of over-regulation, even if they're too stupid to realize that Tesla is going to make EVs happen. It's in the truly free market that Tesla is succeeding. Tesla is a shining example of how capitalism and the free market can solve the world's biggest problems.
If you're a Tesla investor, then this post is incredibly important information to remember. You can either fall for the psyop and be afraid and angry, or you can align with Tesla's mission and hold shares.

In my AP, I have an upcoming encounter for my players against an Emperor Cobra. They are level 3, so it would be a Moderate fight for the party of 4. All things here are normal.
But we've been running off and on with a party of 5, so I need to have some way to improve the difficulty level of the encounter if our 5th shows up. I'd prefer to not push the monster to Elite level 6 - GMs all know how deadly high level encounters can get at low levels - so I'm considering a couple of adjustments instead.
EDIT: Adding enemies is not an option, storywise. This is how I usually adjust encounters, but I can’t here.
One of the adjustments I've thought of is to simply make the creature Huge (3x3) instead of Large (2x2). Its Jaws attack already has Reach 10, so it would be threatening a much larger space especially against my three ranged targets. I have also considered adding Grab plus Swallow Whole (copied from the Giant Moray Eel) as a way to counteract their greater numbers.
Does anyone have experience with how specifically changing a creature's size affects the difficulty of an encounter? My players like higher difficulty encounters and it is an alternative to a fight that's already Severe.

I'm autistic and ADHD, and I have a big issue with getting stuff I don't need because of impulsivity. I went through a clothing phase and now have about 6 60l boxes of clothing, shoes and bags, I went through a jewellery phase where I now have 3 jewellery boxes filled, and I had a bad book collecting phase where I ended up with 246 books until summer last year (I am down to under 100 books now because I bought doubles or triples of the same book thinking I didn't have it). It's like Confession of a Shopaholic but less designer, more alternative clothing and decor, and without the debt.
When I moved last year, the movers made a joke about my stuff being more than one person's worth, which was very hurtful. My current place has a lift, but it took 7 trips to get everything in with a folding hand truck and another person. I'm planning on moving in the next month and a half into a place with just stairs, and I don't want the same comments again.
My problem is that I have such guilt about getting rid of things! I don't know how to let go of whatever memory or emotion I have attached to having gotten the item. The Marie Kondo method does not work because I'm finding joy in remembering I have something. Example: I have a set of 6 pastel coloured teacups I bought last year - they are so kitsch and adorable (though I never use them) but I can't find the nerve to donate them because I love seeing the colour splash in my shelf. I also have stuff from my grandma that I can't part with because, well, they're a memory of her.
I want to try and reduce my stuff by at least 20% in the next month - I'm currently looking as a giant TK Maxx red bag filled to the brim with shoes, clothing, tech accessories, and bags, and ready to be donated tonight to my building's donation station. It's slow, but I want to make sure I do it right and not end up back at square one.
Can anyone help me out with some tips? How did you manage to let go of things and stop the worrying that you'll end up needing something? Were there any methods that you found really helped?
Thank you in advance!

The pain was the worst thing`Dominick Mason had ever known…and he knew what it felt like to die. It felt like his brain was in a blender, being chopped to liquid for a Jeffery Dahmer smoothie and though it seemed melodramatic, he imagined he could feel himself losing brain cells by the minute. The sun, Merrick told him, would not burn him, but it would decay him faster, so sleep or rest during the day. With the sick, throbbing agony in the center of his brain, however, that was impossible. He spent most of the day curled up on his side, hugging his knees, and moaning. He had flashbacks to dying in his apartment, and that made things even worse. The room became too small, too close, the air too stale. His heart, filled with the blood of last night’s meal, pounded in his chest, and he went from slightly chilly to hot and feverish as blood was forced through his circulatory system. It mixed with the embalming fluid and left him feeling full and constipated. He didn’t want to get up, but he also didn’t want to go on lying there. He was the definition of miserable.
Before long, the pain became too great and he got up to pace, pressing his hands to the sides of his head and gritting his teeth. Merrick, who slept very little if at all, sat in his chair and watched, trying his best to talk him through it. “It’ll be over soon,” Merrick said. “The pain receptors in your brain are the first to go. When they burn out, you won’t feel anything.”
“When?” Dom asked, his voice raising with the tide of pain.
“A couple days?”
“A couple days???”
“The pain will lessen gradually,” Merrick said, “this is the worst of it.”
Dom believed that this was, indeed, the worst of it, but he doubted it would lessen gradually. For the rest of the day, the pain got worse and worse until every light blinded him, every sound turned his stomach, and the smell of anything made his gorge rise. The cloying smell of the embalming fluid, the light but unmistakable odor of dead flesh, and the scent of stale blood sitting in decomposing stomachs made him want to vomit, but he was afraid to. He didn’t think he could handle the sight of blood rushing from his mouth and splattering the floor. He still possessed enough of his facilities, he believed, to go insane.
Pain has a way of darkening one’s mood, and by the time the sun began to set, Dom was in the most sour mood possible. Even Merrick’s calm, fatherly voice was beginning to get on his nerves. When he took the oath to him the day before (or was it the day before that?), he turned his faith and trust over to Merrick entirely. He was finally accepted, included, finally had the love and fellowship that, in the pit of his soul, he had always wanted. Merrick understood him, Merrick was kind to him.
But deep down, Dom realized that he didn’t fully trust him. He said that his brain didn’t rot because he was “lucky.” That sounded like some bullshit to Dom. Why wasn’t Joe a blithering idiot too? Was he lucky as well? Did lightning strike in the same place twice? In life, people had done nothing but hurt and lie to Dom. Why would death be any different? He thought back to the strange liquid that always seemed to leak from Merrick’s nose, and Joe’s. He thought it was embalming fluid, but it never leaked from his own nose, or from anyone else’s. He tried to tell himself that it was far too soon to judge, but once he began to doubt something, his mind raced away. He felt a twinge of guilt, as Merrick had done absolutely nothing to deserve his doubt, but goddamn it, his head was on fire and he wanted it to stop. Anything to make it stop.
Just after sundown, the music began as Club Vlad opened for the night. It throbbed in the center of Dom’s head and made him want to claw his eyes out. When it became too much for him, he slipped away and stumbled into the sultry summer night. He came out in the alley running behind the club, clutching his head and breathing through bared teeth. He staggered, bumped into a metal trash can, and roared at the top of his lungs, as if he could purge himself of the pain by screaming.. His voice echoed and came back to him, making the pain worse.
Merrick was lying. He knew it. People always lied to him. His brain was rotting and PEOPLE WERE LYING! Flashing with anger, he slammed his fist into the brick wall of a Chinese restaurant. He barely felt anything so he did it again and again until his hand was lumpy and shaking. He sat heavily on the ground and pressed his hands to his head. It felt like maggots were burrowing into his brain, and he was suddenly terrified that they really were. He needed to stop this awful pain, but how?
An idea came to him.
The funeral home.
Maybe there was something there.
He was on his feet and lumbering there before the thought had even finished reverberating through his mind. It was a long shot, but he was desperate. On the way there, he stuck to the shadows, staying out of the light cast by the streetlamps and avoiding people. When he passed them, he kept his head down. When he reached the funeral home, he went to the back door where he and Jessie had gone the other day. He tried it, and it opened.
Inside, he bounced off the walls like a pinball, knocking over an end table and tearing at the flesh of his head, pulling it away in long, gray strips. He panted like a wild animal, his body a raging tempest of emotions. It was reaching a crescendo, he thought, his brain was about to go supernova. The world dimmed, things got really echoy. The young man he’d picked the embalming fluid up from was there, looking scared.
Flashing, Dom grabbed him by his shirt and slammed him against the wall, knocking a painting of a flowery field to the carpet. Everything seemed to go in slow mo. “How does Merrick keep his brain from rotting?” Dom heard himself demanding from far away. “How does he keep the pain away?”
The man trembled. “I-I-”
Dom slammed him again. “Tell me or I’ll make you like me.”
“No!” the man wailed. He shook his head from side to side, his eyes wet with fear.
“How?”
“He-He uses a solution,” the man stammered. “Some kind of special thing. It preserves his brain. That’s all I know.”
An idea occurred to Dom.
Holding the man by the back of his neck, Dom dragged him into the embalming room and pushed him against the table. His head felt like it was swelling. Hot, screaming, getting ready to explode. He looked around, found the embalming machine, and grabbed the hose. There was a sharp tip on it so that you could jam it into a body. He held it in his hand, hesitating for just a moment before pressing it to his temple. The man watched in horror as Dom slowly shoved the tip into his head. It tore his flesh, broke through his skull, and sank into his brain. He felt no pain, only pressure, but cried out anyway. His eyes rolled up into his head and a shudder went through his body.
“Turn it on!” he yelled.
“That’s not what he -”
“TURN IT ON!”
Starting, the man turned the machine on. Cold embalming fluid squirted directly into Dom’s brain. Almost at once, the pain began to ebb away, replaced only by a fuzzy sense of numbness. His knees buckled and he sank to the floor, looking for all the world like an addict taking a hit of his favorite substance after a long and trying day. Fluid leaked from his nose, ears, and eyes and dripped down the back of his throat.
The man waited for a long time, then turned the machine off.
The pain was gone.
At least for now.
“Tell me again,” Dom said.
The man did. Merrick used a special preserving agent to keep his brain intact. Joe, the man suspected, got it as well. So Merrick had lied to him.
Dom felt betrayed.
And angry.
Leaving the man (Dom realized that he didn’t even know his name), he walked back to Club Vlad, his hands fisted in his pockets. All his life, he had been hurt, lied to, and ignored. All his life, people had done wrong to him. And all those years, he just took it.
He resolved not to be so accepting in death.
At last, he was going to stop being a sniveling little bitch and stand up for himself.
When he reached Club Vlad, he slammed through the back door and took the stairs two at a time. At the top, he called out Merrick’s name. The old man was sitting in his chair, being attended to by Jessie and Matt. He looked startled when Dom came in. “You lied to me,” Dom said, stalking over to his benefactor.
“What are you talking about?” Merrick asked, doing his best to sound innocent.
“You lied to me!” Dom screamed. He bent over and got so close to Merrick’s face that he could have kissed him. “You told me there was no way to save my brain, but that’s not true. You’re pumping your head full of shit and letting the rest of us rot.”
A dark shadow flickered across Merrick’s face. “Watch your tone when you talk to me,” he said. His voice was low, menacing.
“Fuck you,” Dom said. “I should k -”
Suddenly, Dom was being grabbed from behind and yanked back, an arm around his neck. He cried out in alarm as Joe swung him around and slammed him face first into the wall. He heard his nose crunch, felt his teeth shatter. Next, Joe wrestled him to the glitter-sprinkled floor and wedged his knee between his shoulder blades.
Merrick watched with a sneer of disgust, his hands gripping the arms of his chair. He wheeled himself over, Jessie holding his IV stand steady and following behind. “Listen, you son of a bitch,” Merrick said, “you’re lucky to be a part of this family.”
Cold fear filled the pit of Dom’s stomach, yet he wouldn’t back down, couldn’t back down. He had lived his entire life like a mouse in a burrow, he wasn’t about to live his entire death the same way.
“Fuck your family,” he said defiantly. “And fuck you.”
Merrick’s face darkened and he sat back in his chair. He looked at Jessie and nodded. She went away and came back a moment later holding something in her hand. Dom’s eyes widened when he saw what it was.
A wooden stake, one end honed to a razor point.
Why they had one of those lying around, Dom didn’t know; it’d be like Superman keeping a piece of kryptonite on the mantle over the fireplace. Merrick directed Max and Matt to hold Dom’s arms down/ Joe pivoted, kneeling on his head now so that Dom’s back was exposed. Dom’s heart slammed with terror and tremors raced through his body.
“Is this what you want, Dominick?” Merrick asked. “To die? To truly die?”
Dom swallowed hard. No, it wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to live, to love, to have a family one day. He wanted a happy, normal life, the life TV and social media had been promising him since he was a little boy.
But all of that went out the window the night he died in his little apartment. There was no life anymore, just a grotesque parody of life. What was there for him other than death? Clinging desperately onto life for decades like Merrick? Stuffing himself full of embalming fluid and moth balls? Grinding for one more minute just so he could sit hooked up to a machine?
Dom spoke.
“What?” Merrick asked, not having heard.
Dom licked his lips. “Just fucking do it.”
For a moment, nothing happened. Expectation hung in the air. Finally, breaking the tension, Merrick nodded to Jessie. Kneeling down, she brought the stake up, and Dom closed his eyes.
This was it.
He braced himself for death.
Jessie brought the stake down just as a shot rang out, deafening in the small space. Her head whipped back, embalming fluid, skull fragments, and gray, sickly pieces of brain showering from the back of her head. She flopped back and landed on the floor with a sickening thud.
A woman cop, her black uniform in stark contrast to the burning white light, stood in the doorway to the hall, her gun drawn. Everyone did, indeed, freeze, more out of surprise than respect for authority. They all looked at her, their dead mouths agape, resembling children who’d been caught doing something wrong.
“Everyone on the ground!” she barked.
No one knew what to do. They hadn’t expected to be raided by the police so had not prepared. She jerked her gun and everyone instinctively flinched. “On the ground!” she repeated. To Max: “You too, bone boy.”
The first one to react was Joe. He sprang at her like a big, undead frog. She brought the gun around and fired, but he was already crashing into her. The shot went wild and struck the IV bag next to Merrick; he ducked and let out a sound of fear. The others rushed her, and Dom got quickly to his feet. Jessie lay on the floor, her mouth open in a silent scream and her bony fingers frantically examining the ragged hole in the center of her forehead. For a moment, he was frozen; everything was happening too fast. Then, when Merrick saw him and cried, “Stop him!, he came alive. Jessie tried to grab at his leg, but he kicked her hand away and stomped on it like it was a giant spider. On the other side of the room, Matt, Joe, and Max had forced the cop to the ground. Perhaps excited by all the action, perhaps just hungry, they began to tear her apart. She howled in pain, and the last thing Dom saw before he fled was her open, blood-filled mouth. Her eyes were filled with pain…with terror.
After that, Dom ran.
***
When the interloper was dead, Merrick directed Joe and Matt to dispose of the body. “Get rid of it,” he said wearily and rubbed his temples, “make sure it isn’t found.”
They rolled her into a carpet from the office, and the way her feet stuck out may have been comical under other circumstances.
Goddamn it, this was bad. Merrick’s entire philosophy rested on avoiding detection. He had done well in that regard. Whereas other vampires had attacked their villages and gotten themselves dug from the ground and staked, he had made it four decades. He never shat where he ate, and there is no bigger turd than killing a cop. They might dawdle on all the boys who’d gone missing - taken because their blood was stronger and more robust than the blood of girls - but they would not take a cop dying lightly at all.
Merrick owned various businesses around the country. He and the others would simply move on. Tomorrow night, they would disappear into the night. They had done it before and they would likely do it again. Once things were settled at their new base of operations, he would have Joe killed for all the trouble he’d caused.
And Dom?
Let him go.
The little rat wouldn’t last a month on his own.
“Jessie?”
Jessie sat against the wall, gazing into space.
“Jessi…start packing. We’re leaving tomorrow.”
She didn’t move, didn’t seem to hear. The shot had all but lobotomized her.
Damn it.
Joe backed the van up to the back door of Club Vlad, and then helped Matt carry the carpet-rolled body down the stairs. They loaded it in and closed the back doors. Together, they drove around looking for a place to dump it. Merrick wanted it to go unfound, but Joe doubted there was anywhere isolated enough in the city. On a whim, he drove to Washington Park, a vast expanse of green trees and shadows. There was a large pond there. It seemed the best option. They were leaving tomorrow anyway, so did it really matter?
Joe backed the van to a railing overlooking the dark water and put it in park. He and Matt got out, fetched the body, and carried it to the railing. They lifted and heaved it over. It splashed. Thus, they rid themselves of Vanessa Rodregiez.
***
Bruce sat anxiously up in his easy chair and waited for his cell to ring.
Parked in front of the TV by warm lamplight, a beer wedged between his legs, he’d been watching the 11’o’clock news when the phone rang. He picked it up and it was Vanessa. “Hey,” she said, “I think I found our body?”
“Which one?” Bruce asked and took a drink. “We have a lot of those these days.”
“Dominick Mason.”
Bruce sat forward in his chair. “Dead Dom? Where?”
“He just came out of a funeral home, ironically enough.”
“That sounds about right,” Bruce said. “Where are you now?”
“I’m following him east on Central.”
“Are you sure it’s him?” Bruce asked.
“I think so, but I’m not sure. I’ll call you back when I’m done.”
Bruce sat the phone aside and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
At some point, he fell asleep sitting up, his head lulled to one side and his mouth open. He snorted himself awake, rubbed his eyes, and sat up. He checked his phone and was perturbed to see that it was past 2am.
Vanessa hadn’t called.
He dialed her number and let the phone ring until it went to voicemail. Sighing, he ended the call, then waited a few minutes and called again.
Still no answer.
It was possible she had forgotten. Maybe the guy turned out to not be Dead Dom after all. She followed some random guy around, realized it, and that was that. Hell, she was probably too embarrassed to call and tell him about it.
Something told him that wasn’t right, however.
There was something else going on here.
Something…darker.
Just before 3am, his phone rang. He snatched it off the end table next to the chair and answered it. It was Burt, the night sargent. “Rodriguez is missing,” he said simply.
Bruce’s heart sank. “Missing?”
“Yeah, she hasn’t checked in for hours and she isn’t answering calls.”
“I’m on my way,”
Bruce tore through the house, pulling on his uniform, socks, and shoes in less time than it took a Daytona 500 pit crew to service a car. In ten minutes he was speeding down 787, the Albany skyline rising in the distance. As he hurried to the station, he thought back to his last conversation with Vanessa. She’d found Dom the Dead Man, the “corpse” who’d scared Ed Harris out of a 20 year career. Despite all their talk about vampires and the living dead, Bruce didn’t believe it, not really. Even so, he was sure that Dominick Mason had done something to Vanessa.
He checked in at the station before doing anything else. They had triangulated Vanessa’s last known location via cell towers. Cops were already out searching the streets for her. Bruce went out as well, intending to start from her last known position and work his way east on Central. The closest funeral home was Tebbutt and Frederick on Central. There was also Lasak & Gigliotti on North Allen Street. Bruce didn’t know which one Vanessa had seen Dom come out of, so he checked both.
Both were deserted at this hour.
Undeterred, Bruce drove up and down Central Ave. At one point, he noticed a shape in an alleyway that looked human. He hit the brakes, jumped out, and pointed his gun at it. “Freeze!”
An old wino stepped out of the darkness. “Alright, you got me,” he said, hands up. “I started COVID. It was an accident, I swear.”
Bruce sighed and put his gun away.
For two more hours, Bruce searched the streets of Albany for Vanessa. At 4am, he spotted a squad car abandoned in the rear parking lot of an abandoned gas station on lower Lark Street. He called it in and the desk sergeant confirmed that it was the one Vanessa had signed out that night.
Still there was no sign of Vanessa herself.
Just after dawn, as the city came alive and CDTA buses began lumbering up and down the streets, Bruce got a call on his cell. “A jogger found a body in Washington Park.”
Bruce was in his personal car. He had no bubble light, no siren. Even so, he sped through the streets like he did, blowing through red lights and stop signs with little care to himself or anyone else. When he got to Washington Park, he found an army cops by the pond, the scene cordoned off with yellow crime scene tape. He slammed on the brakes, threw open the door, and jumped out without even turning off the engine.
The body was rolled up in a carpet and lying on the bank. Two beat cops unrolled it at Bruce’s direction. “We should wait for -” one of them started, but Bruce cut him off.
“Do it.”
They compiled, and at the carpet’s center, like a rotten cream filling, was the body of Vanessa Rodregiuez. Her head was tilted to one side, her eyes wide and staring. Her throat had been mangled and ripped away, her head nearly severed. Even in the black and red mess, Bruce could make out the teeth marks and puncture wounds. They may have looked like something else to anyone else who saw them, but he knew, in that moment, what they were dealing with.
A sharp pang of horror sliced through him, and his knees went weak.
“Jesus Christ,” one of the beat cops drew.
Bruce fell to, rather than knelt on, one knee. He bent over the body, a mixture of horror and grief welling his throat. He wanted to reach out, to comfort her in death, but he stayed his hand. Instead, he visually examined the body. She had bruises on her face, defensive wounds on her hands, and her gun was gone. Whoever had attacked her, she put up a fight.
Something glinted on her pants.
“What’s that?” one of the cops asked.
“I dunno,” the other replied, “but it’s all over the carpet.”
Indeed, there were glinty little specks all over it, winking like mocking eyes. Nice work, eh? We really fucked her up, didn’t we? Wink wink.
“It looks like…”
The other cop cut him off. “Glitter.”
Bruce flashed back to his visit to Club Vlad the other day.
There had been glitter everywhere.
Bruce stood up.
He had work to do.
***
Instead of going back to the station to start his shift, Bruce went to Lowes. There, he bought a mallet, a gas can, and a dozen sticks of wood. An employee in a blue vest used a machine to sharpen them to a wicked point and he took his purchases to the car. Next, he drove over to the Mobil station and filled the gas can. He was so hellbent on revenge that he sprang for premium, the good stuff. No expense shall be spared.
His final stop was at a Catholic church. He filled a canteen with holy water from the marble font by the door, then swiped a crucifix from the wall. He stopped by the station, went inside, and grabbed a black duffle bag with POLICE written across the front in yellow. He opened the gun cabinet in his office, took out a shotgun, and loaded it with shells. He grabbed a handful from the box and stuffed them into his pocket.
He was just finishing up when Bertha came in. “There you are,” she spat, “I’ve waited long enough for you to do something. I demand -”
Bruce shoved the duffle bag into her arms. “Make yourself useful.”
“What?” she demanded.
“We’re going to get your granddaughter,” Bruice lied. Kind of.
Bertha’s demeanor changed. “Good. It’s about time. I was starting to think you were a complete incompetent.”
Bruce didn’t answer. Outside, he plucked the bag out of Bertha’s hands and tossed it into the backseat. He slipped behind the wheel and Bertha sat in the passenger seat. “Where are we going?” she asked.
“Club Vlad,” Bruce said and started the engine.
“I want all of them arrested.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Bruce said.
She barked orders the entire way there. Bruce was so deep in his thoughts that he barely heard her. The image of Vanessa’s ruined throat and terror-twisted face haunted him, and he felt a lump forming in his throat. Hot tears filled his eyes but he blinked them back and forced himself to calm down.
I’ll cry when I’m done killing, he thought.
A few minutes later, he pulled to the curb in front of Club Vlad. It was a hot and sunny day and the place seemed even more ominous because of it. The windows were black, the front cast in perpetual shadows by the old marquee from when it used to be a theater. The place was surely closed, but Bruce could hear music still playing from inside, some techno dance bullshit. “Alright,” he said, “let’s go.”
Getting out, he slung the dufflebag over his shoulder and carried the shotgun, the canteen full of holy water clasped to his belt. Bertha carried the gas can, looking confused. “Why do we need this?” she asked.
“We’re burning the place down.”
Bertha blinked in surprise…then an evil grin carved across her face. “That’ll show the bastards.”
Unlike last time, the door was locked. Bruce used the butt of the shotgun to break the glass, then reached inside and unlocked the door, being careful not to cut himself. This was the point of no return. What he had in mind would probably get him kicked off the force or even thrown in jail - and we all know how tough jail can be for a former barnaclehead. The memory of Vanessa’s contorted face pushed him on, however.
He’d suffer any consequences he needed to just so long as he got the sons of bitches who did this to her.
Inside, the club was cool and cave-like. Strobe lights flashed, on and off, black and white, dazzling Bruce’s eyes. The bartender was at his station, cleaning up from the night before. When he saw Bruce and Bertha come in, he started. Bruce pointed the shotgun at him. “Don’t fucking move,” he commanded.
The bartender hesitated, then reached for something under the bar.
The shotgun kicked in Bruce’s hands, and the bartender flew back, turning as he crashed into the barback. Bottles, glasses, and mugs crashed to the floor along with the bartender. Bruce racked the gun, and the shell flew out. He moved low and fast now, expecting to be swarmed by vampires, living thugs who worked for vampires, or vampire thugs who worked for themselves.
Though the shot had been like thunder, no one came.
Bruce had no idea where to go, but he imagined that vampires were naturally gravitate to the lowest part of the building. Was there a basement? Shit, he should have looked up the building plans at city hall. Damn, this is what happens when you go off half-cocked. He searched around a bit, opening doors and sweeping the rooms beyond with the shotgun. He found no basement, only stairs leading up. “Stay close,” he said to Bertha.
In the lead, Bruce crept up the stairs, the flashlight on the shotgun providing a cone of clean, white light. At the top of the stairs, he went right, and came to an office and a store room. Backtracking, and bumping into a bungling Bertha, he went into the next room. It was large and open with a vaulted ceiling, almost like a ballroom. Here the same strobe lights throbbed on and off, making him dizzy. Was this to dazzle prospective vampire hunters?
Either way, this was the place. Bodies lay strewn across the floor, some curled up on their sides and others in the classic vampire pose: Flat on their backs with their hands laced over their chests. In the center, like the sun to the planets, Merrick Garvis lay slumped back in his wheelchair, his neck exposed for any potential assassin to come and cut. Not that it would kill him. At least Bruce didn’t think it would.
“They’re all dead,” Bertha whispered. She looked around and gasped. “There’s Jessie.”
Jessie lay on her back, her hands folded on her chest. She had a ragged bullet hole in the center of her forehead. “Oh, God,” Bertha wavered, “someone shot her.”
He hoped it was Vanessa. And he hoped it fucking hurt.
Looking around, Bruce couldn’t find Dominick Mason. Was he the one who killed Vanessa? Was it a group effort? He wanted the little son of a bitch bad, but it looked like he’d have to go on without him. They didn’t have much time.
Unshouldering the duffle bag, he knelt down and rummaged around. “Start splashing that gas on the bodies,” he said.
“But -”
“Just do it,” he snapped.
There must have been a harder edge in his voice than normal, because Bertha jumped and did as she was told. She upended the can and began to splash gasoline onto the sleeping forms, the smell of it acrid and strong.
Taking out a stake and the mallet, Bruce went over to Merrick and knelt down. He gripped the stake in one hand and placed it firmly against Merrick’s chest. He brought the mallet up and hesitated, the gravity of what he was doing finally reaching him. What if he was wrong? What if -
Merrick’s head whipped up and their eyes locked.
Too late.
Bruce brought the mallet down as hard as he could. The stake drove deep into Merrick’s heart, and the vampire let out a howling screech that rang through the chamber like the cry of a banshee. His bony fingers clawed at the stake and his head whipped from side to side, his back arching and his robe coming open. In the quick strobe pattern, Bruce was shocked to see that his body was little more than a wood frame, chicken wire, and cotton balls. His blacked heart was hidden behind a screen of mesh that the stake had easily torn through. It throbbed, seemingly in time with the strobe lights, and Merrick let out another wail.
Bertha screamed, and Bruce jumped to his feet.
The vampires, drawn by their master’s cries of distress, were rising to their feet. Two, four, six of them, pale and ethereal like ghosts in a gothic mansion. They came toward Merrick, and Bruice fell back a step. The old man had gone still and lay slumped to one side, his eyes open and his mouth slack, embalming fluid leaking from the corner of his lips. Jessie bent over him and touched his face. Though she moved like a zombie, with no human emotion, Bruce was crazily sure that it was a touch of tenderness and love. Merrick didn’t stir.
He was dead.
Jessie looked at him. Yellow liquid leaked from her eyes like tears. Instead of attacking him, she turned on her grandmother and slammed her against the wall. Bertha screamed and dropped the can. It landed on its side, its contents sloshing out onto the floor. A man that resembled the pictures Bruce had seen of Joe Rossi only deader rushed him, slamming into him and knocking the shotgun aside. It hit the floor and skidded away. Joe grabbed Bruce around the throat and squeezed. Still the lights flashed, off and on, off and on. The walls thrummed with the mechanized beat of dance music, pierced only by Bertha’s screams as Jessie ripped out her throat.
Joe leaned in, his fangs wicked and glowing in the light. Bruce clawed at the monster’s face, tearing away strips of dead flesh. Joe turned his head to the side, and Bruce kneed him in the groin. Even dead, getting kicked in the balls hurt like hell, apparently. Joe’s grip loosened and Bruce was able to shove him off. Bruce unclasped the canteen and frantically screwed the cap off as Joe recovered. Joe sprang at him again, and Bruce splashed him in the face.
A sound like sizzling meat filled the air, and Joe screamed at the top of his lungs. He pressed his hands to his face and danced around the room, his skin liquifying and oozing between his fingers. The others were coming now, led by a terrible skeletal thing. Bruce scooped the shotgun off the floor, brought it around, and fired. The blast hit the thing dead center, tearing it literally in half. The top half flew back, an all too human look of surprise on its face, and the bottom half fell over with a wet thud. Another vampire came at, and Bruce slammed it across the face with the butt of the gun. He heard its jaw crack, saw teeth flying.
Bertha lay dead on the floor, Jessie bent over her. The smell of Bertha’s blood attracted the others, who seemed to forget about Bruce, Merrick, and everything else. Joe was on his knees, wailing in pain, and the skeletal thing was pulling itself toward Bertha. A feeding frenzy broke out as vampires fought to get a piece of her the way piglets might fight over their mother’s teat. Bruce watched in a mixture of horror and fascination, but recovered himself. He grabbed the gas can from the floor and dumped the rest of its contents on Merrick’s body, the feeding vampires’ backs, and the floor, using the last of it to make a little trail to the door. He tossed the can aside, bent down, and stuck a match.
A huge, fiery whump filled the room, and fire streaked along the trail. The vampires all went up in a huge ball of flames, and fire shot up Merrick’s body, catching his robe, his hair, and the wooden frame that had kept him semi upright for God knows how long. Letting out inhuman screams, the vampires broke from Bertha’s corpse. One stumbled around, bounced off the wall, and fell; another toddled toward Bruce before falling to its knees. The half skeleton kept drinking from Bertha’s neck even as it burned.
The heat was enormous, baking. Bruce backed away, and the last thing he saw before smoke obscured his vision was Merrick Garvis.
He was literally melting.
***
Dominick Mason tried to go home, but he no longer had a home. All of his worldly possessions sat on the sidewalk in front of his building, discarded coldly as easily. His key didn’t work in his door and there was a FOR RENT sign on it. Why would it be any other way? He was dead. Sooner or later, everyone forgets you when you’re dead, and all the things you held so dear wind up in the trash. It was a hard pill to swallow, but most people aren’t around to see it after they die.
He was.
From his building, he walked east toward Washington Park. In the distance, thick, black smoke billowed into the air, and sirens rose. He barely noticed and wouldn’t have cared even if he did. No more rubbernecking for him. That was for the living.
The pain that had plagued him so the previous day came back, only less this time. Maybe he was imagining it, but it was getting harder to think. Not that he cared, really. What was there to think about anyway? How he had no one to mourn or miss him? How he died and not one single person, except for maybe his mother, cared, or even noticed? How he had done nothing with his life? Even to the women he’d slept with, what was he? Just another dating app hookup. They probably didn’t even remember his name.
Merrick had been right about one thing. Death was easy. It was life that was hard…life that hurt.
With that in mind, Dominick made his way to Washington Park. It was a vast and deep place with many small caves and thickets. Kids played on the playground, their cries of laughter scenting the still air. It had grown cloudy and began to rain. Still, smoke poured into the sky in the direction of Club Vlad. Dom didn’t wish ill on Merrick and the others, didn’t hope it was them burning. He didn’t care anymore. Not about them, not about anyone. For better or worse (and he would argue it was worse), his life was over. His time came days ago, he just missed the boat.
Picking out an isolated little area, Dom sat against a tree with his legs splayed out in front of him. He titled his head back and closed his eyes. Yes, thinking was hard now. His mind felt sluggish, cold. He was thirsty…so, so thirsty, but he ignored it.
Slowly, the bugs found him. Flies buzzed around him and laid their eggs in his skin. Beetles scuttled over him, followed by worms.
Next, it was the birds. They ate out his eyes and nibbled at his blue, bloated skin.
The animals came last.
Their appetites were bigger.
And they left little remaining of poor, outcast Dominick Mason.
***
That night, Bruce sat alone in his little trailer, a bottle of whiskey wedged between his legs and unshed tears in his eyes. He stared at his reflection in the darkened TV set and took long swallows from the bottle. He planned to drink until he forgot or passed out, whichever came first. He tried to not think about Vanessa, but in his addled state, he couldn’t control himself, and began to cry. When that storm passed, like the others before it, he chugged from the bottle.
As distant church bells clanged the hour - midnight - a feeble knock came at the door. Bruce took another drink and it came again. Getting up, he stumbled, nearly fell, and gripped the bottle tightly. He didn’t want to lose one precious drop.
Again, the knock.
“I’m coming,” Bruce slurred. He staggered to the door and fought with the lock. He was dizzy and seeing double.
When he got it, he opened the door.
The bottle dropped from his hand and clanked onto the floor.
Vanessa, clad in a puke green hospital gown, stood on the step, her hands pressed to her chest and a look of anguish on her milk white face. Her head tilted to one side, the wounds on her neck cleaned but open, gaping. Her dark eyes shone with tears. “I’m dead,” she said.
Breaking down in tears, she collapsed against him and they sank to the floor. She was cold and smelled. Bruce wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest anyway. “Shhh, it’s alright,” he said drunkenly. “Hey, it’s alright.
“I’m dead,” she repeated, and her voice broke. “I don’t want to die.”
Bruce held her close, trying to warm her icy skin. He didn’t know what to say, so he cried with her.
“You’re safe now,” he said, “it’s going to be okay.”
“I want blood,” she said and sobbed harder, “I want to hurt people.”
“Shhh,” Bruce said again. “It’s okay.”
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a utility knife. He flicked the blade across his wrist and searing pain shot up his arm. “Here,” he said and offered her his blood, “drink this.”
He did this without care and without thought. She needed him, and one barnaclehead always backs up another.
Vanessa hesitated, looking from his face to the oozing blood, unsure.
“Go ahead,” he told her.
Vanessa brought his wrist to her mouth.
And began to drink.

Hey all, bandwagon fan from NYC here in peace. I'm planning a work trip to Minnesota later this year to visit a company in which we've invested. The founder wants to bring me to a Vikings game and I'm so in! I've fallen in love with the team, I'm pumped that I'll get to see Harrison Smith in what may be his last season, and I even have a Vikings hat now. It's done. I drank the Kool-Aid. I want to see the dang Vikings win it all.
So let's start with a home game...or two?
I've never been to a Vikings home game but I hear it's amazing. I can't wait! Was supposed to come out last season but couldn't make my schedule work. I can plan my trip with enough time to see two games at US Bank -- hopefully the team does better at home this season!! One game I'll go with the company founder and a few coworkers. The second game a friend and I want to plan as a surprise weekend for a friend of ours who is going through a really rough divorce and loves the Vikings (especially KOC). We'll leave our guys at home, my gals will fly out and we'll sit in the stands cheering our hearts out.
Which two Vikings home games would you recommend for a first-timer?
OPTION 1: Sept 15 vs. 49ers (another team I love) and Sept 22 vs. Texans
Pros: See the Vikings beat the 9ers in back to back seasons; see Danielle Hunter's return. (I miss him already!) Beyond the games, more opportunity to do nature stuff while the weather is still good.
Cons: If the Vikings start 0-3 this season AGAIN, ugh. That's gonna be tough. I don't think they will -- the teams I root for tend to do really well, and I believe Minnesota has an amazing youth movement, Red Sox circa 2004 underdog story going for them. Not sure how this season is going to start though.
OPTION 2: Some combo of Dec 1 vs. Cardinals, Dec. 8 vs. Falcons, Dec. 15 vs. Bears
Pros: I'd get to see the return of Kirk (all due respect to him, I think it's pretty lame that he left for the bag, but I think it's the best thing that could have happened for the Vikings), and either a great divisional game in the Bears or a hopefully easy win against the Cardinals...? These games should have playoff implications, which gets me more interested. Plus I bet Minneapolis is really pretty in the holiday season!
Cons: It will probably be really cold, which isn't a big deal to me because I lived in Colorado for several years, but might be a big deal to my friends who are from sunny southern California originally. December probably isn't cold enough yet for ice fishing, which is something I've been told I need to try on one of my Minnesota visits, is it?
If you were me, which games would you fly out for? I'll be sure to do my research but any recommendations about hotels, restaurants, hikes within a couple of hours of Minneapolis are also so great to have! Happy to offer suggestions for any fans coming to Week 1 at the Giants!

My friend JP and I decided to each eat two 4 gram shroom chocolate bars.
Some context: JP and I, as well as some other classmates were all attending a trade school for 7 months. The school and a local extended stay hotel had a deal where students from the school could book rooms there for months in advance at a discount.
One weekend night a few of our classmates were having a small party in one of their hotel rooms. JP was busy doing something and we wanted to eat the shroom chocolates together so I hung out with the other guys having a couple drinks and smoking until JP arrived around midnight. JP finally arrived and we decided to eat the chocolate. We each immediately ate our first 4 gram bar. We agreed that 8 grams was a bit too strong so we broke off a few squares and shared them with our classmates. In total, we both ate about 6 grams (1 and a half chocolate bars). This was about midnight.
Around 12:30, I could feel the shrooms kicking in. JP was feeling it also. I was already having visuals and colors were very vibrant. JP was looking a little concerned and got up saying he wanted to trip in his own room. We all wished him luck and said goodnight and I told him to call me or text me if he needs anything. JP left.
Probably another 20 minutes or so and the shrooms were starting to affect my perception. I stood up off the couch and zoned out staring at the floor. Then I decided it was time to go back to my own room and lay in bed. My classmates said okay and even the guys who had only a couple squares of chocolate said they were feeling good. I said goodnight and walked the short distance down the hall to my room.
It felt good once i was alone in my room. The familiar feeling of tripping came over me. However, the trip was increasing in strength faster than usual. Soon I felt as though I wasnt in control. There were patterns on the wall and the carpet and I soon got a sinister feeling. I felt the urge to vomit and went to my bathroom. I dry heaved for a couple minutes but nothing came up. The shrooms felt like they were a separate organism living inside me, like they were growing inside me.
I decided to ride out the trip laying in the dark in bed. Being in complete darkness was comforting and made the visuals alot more vivid. Geometric patters of all different colors encompassed my entire visual field. I lay in the dark tripping.
The hotel rooms all have air conditioners and at this moment mine kicked on. The humming vibration sound comforted me. It was resonating with me, vibrating me on the inside. This helped me really relax into the trip, as the body high was accelerating rapidly. I felt myself blasting off.
Everything expanded and my mind was its own three dimensional space, separate from my body. Any substance Ive ever taken would always show itself to me. The shrooms were talking to me, something along the lines of “you wanted to trip so here you go”.
Suddenly my mind was collapsing, like how a star collapses into a black hole. It shrunk and shrunk down to microscopic size. At this point it felt like my whole being was being sliced up. I was being chopped atom by atom, getting smaller and smaller. I found myself laying on my back in bed and without trying to speak I said, “Im trapped inside here”, “Someone trapped me in here”, “Someone tricked me”. I watched as my mind was crushed and sliced smaller and smaller.
Finally, i could see myself trapped in a room inside my own mind.
I felt the fear of being trapped. The claustrophobia. I then remembered how in the Yugioh anime, Atem is trapped inside the millennium puzzle. This thought was like a wake up call and i imagined the word “willpower”. The room in my mind expanded to show that surrounding it, was a giant labyrinth. There was a maze in my mind that I was trapped in. I wasnt afraid anymore and felt confidence that I would escape.
This must have been what the shrooms were looking for. I passed their test. I was then being shown my own memories. Parts of my life passed in front of me. It looked like images of my memories on tablets which were being presented to me. I then got the feeling that I was dying. I felt my grandmother and possibly other ancestors around me. I thought, “ok this is it, Im going to die right here in this hotel room”, and I surrendered.
Thats when i saw it. The veil of our reality. It is directly in front of our eyes. Its as if our eyes are looking point blank into a screen that shows reality. But reality isnt real. I felt contained within something. We are inside a machine and our reality is being projected to us. I could tell there was more just beyond my eyesight.
I then saw, right over my eyes, a reptilian face. It flashed in front of my vision briefly, but its face is burned into my memory.
At this point i began to come back to normal. I slowly went back into my body and recovered from the trip. I lay in bed trying to remember what I had experienced, but I didnt lay for too long because from outside my room in the hallway I heard someones voice.
I sat up with a burst of adrenaline. That sounded like JP. I tapped my phone, it was 4:30am. I got up and went to the door. Poking my head out I saw JP standing in the hall talking to himself. “JP, what are you doing?” He turned to me and I knew he was tripping hard. He clearly didnt know what was happening. “Go back to your room.”, I said. JP looked very confused and walked past me, turning to look back a couple times. “JP get in here with me”, I said. “Are you Jesus?”, he asked wholeheartedly. I will admit this part made me laugh a little, but he was seriously freaking out. “Bro get in here”, I said more seriously. His expression changed and he said no and turned and briskly walked the other direction. I closed my door, put on pants and a shirt and got my room key. I opened the door again and he had wandered down the hall where the elevator was. I left my room and caught up to him. At this spot, the hallway makes a 90 degree turn and JPs room is down that way. I see near his door one of the exit signs had been ripped off the ceiling. It was apparent that JP had been wandering around the halls of the hotel tripping balls.
I got up to him, put my hand on his shoulder and coincidentally at this very moment, the elevator opened and two police officers stepped toward us. They said they got a call about someone acting strangely and knocking on peoples doors. JP uttered some nonsense to the officers. I said I was trying to get him back to his room. The officers agreed and we walked the short distance to JPs room. He didnt have his phone, wallet or room key. I agreed to babysit him in my room.
The cops left and told me to stay with him. I said sorry and thank you. For the next 2-3 hours JP frantically paced in my room, repeating the same sentences over and over. Eventually he layed on my bed and fell asleep.
Everything turned out ok and JP is fine. But he did get kicked out of the hotel for breaking their sign.
We can see two opposite trips happening, JP fighting his trip, and me giving in and being shown things.
From that day, our reality seems quite different to me and I wonder just how real that reptilian face actually was.

*Warning, long post*
Something that I have been pondering my orb about for a long time, is the (causal) relationship the planes have with each other and how they affected another, either directly or indirectly.
I will start with an overview of the planes and their known (meaning explored in canon and kanon sources) relationships with each other. I added sources for some of the statements, because I am a nerd, mainly Exploring Eberron. They might not be perfectly precise though, and some parts of my statements may be from other sources, so sorry if I forgot to add them.
It is a common theme of eberron that the planes are largely self-contained, unchanging, concept-dominated realities, safe for a few exceptions (Dal Quor, Thelanis, Dolurrh), and that they do largely not interact with one another. Furthermore, their inhabitants either don't care about the happenings on other planes (ExE 144) or simply study/monitor them, like the panopticon of Daanvi (ExE 151) or the schoolars of Syrania (ExE 189-190, 193). (Addition: Curiously, this part is a bit contradicted by the astral plane section of Chronicles of Eberron (Page 113), which states that outer planar immortals use the astral plane to travel between the outer planes. Examples are an archfey being transported to daanvi for judgement or a syranian virtue traveling to the infinite archive. So there appears to be some kind of interaction and interest for another among the outer planes.)
The material plane is the centre of the planar system where all the planar concepts come together, and it feels the effects of the planes the most, due to manifest zones, wild zones and the lunar phases.
The likes of Daanvi, Kythri, Xoriat, Lamannia, Mabar, Irian, Fernia, Risia, Shavarath and Syrania are not affected by happenings on neither the material, nor other planes. Events that transpire in the material, for example, no matter how cataclysmic they may be (like the eon-spanning reign of the overlords, the reality-transforming experiments of the Daelkyr and the destruction of the moon cyra, are simply (seemingly) inconsequential to them (Except for Daanvi's Solar of Dal Quor, Tyrala, who vanished after leaving to investigate Dal Quor after Cyra's destruction (ExE 150)).
On the other hand, the likes of Dolurrh, Dal Quor and Thelanis strongly feel the effects of events on the material, and to some degree even another.
Dal Quor's dream of the age is very likely (We don't entirely know) determined by the collective emotions and dreams of the mortals of the material plane, over extended periods of time (ExE 153). The Age of the Dreaming Dark was probably ushered in due to the destruction of Cyra and the detremential consequences it had for the giants and the material world as a whole.
Similairly, Thelanis is affected by the stories mortals tell, and their archfey are actively manipulating events on the material plane to make sure that they stay in power, grow in power, or that a rival looses power (ExE 195). Furthermore, the Feyspires of the Moonlit Valey manifest regulairly in specific manifest zones of the material plane, during the coterminous phases of Rhaan, leading to even greater interaction with the material. Thanks to the mourning, some or all of these might even be (If one wants it to be so in their eberron) permanently manifested on the material plane (ExE 196). Additionally, some of the Feyspires are even linked to other planes, like Shae Tirias Tolai to Dolurrh (https://keith-baker.com/silver-and-bone/) or Taer Lian Doresh (ExE 154).
Dolurrh is logically affected and based on the continued precept of mortals dying. The mortal soul passes to dolurrh after death and is proccessed through the planes natural effects (ExE 156-157), and later on through the more precise processing by the librarian, the smith of souls or the queen of the dead herself (ExE 157-158). All in all, every event that transpires in dolurrh is connected to the precept of mortal death, which makes sense, as it is its purpose to serve as the end of the journey, or the beginning of the next (ExE 156). While something like this has probably never happened before, if by some means no mortals would die anymore, dolurrh's existence would essentially be defunct. This is more of a strong hypothetical, yes, but my point for these planes stands.
Drastic changes on the material will change cause drastic changes to the three aformentioned planes. Mortal dreams and feelings change the theme of Dal Quor's heart, mortal stories and tales change the themes of thelanis and mortal soul processing is essentially the entire 'economy' of dolurrh, so to speak.
For the final part of this overview, I want to talk about Xoriat. In Exploring Eberron (Exe 199) it was established that the Xoriat exists out of time and that the daelkyr can reshape the material plane as they see fit, by manipulating its position in the maze of reality. This happened at least once and possibly even numerous times. When the prime material plane is changed and the former incarnation discarded, it does not simply change the present, but also the past and the future. Thus Xoriat's influence is not simply limited to time-travel, but even the alteration of the timeline itself into an alternate reality. When this happens or happened, some things remain(ed) unchanged. The progenitors, as the creators of the multiverse, always remain, but their battle might have transpired differently. As described in the Keith's blog post on Gem Dragons (https://keith-baker.com/dm-gem-dragons/), in 'Githeberron' Khyber might not have destroyed Siberys' body, but instead his mind, giving an explanation for the source of psionics as opposed to arcane magic. This was called the 'Dream of Siberys', as opposed to the Blood of Siberys, and the Gem dragons are the children of eberron infused with the Dream of Siberys. In the comments, Keith even suggest that in Githeberron or another alternate reality, Khyber was broken apart by Eberron and encased a wounded Siberys to stabilize him, creating a Ring of Khyber and a underworld of siberys instead. In the same comment, he states that the maze of reality can only affect the material plane and the outer planes remain unchanged, supporting the concept that they were constructed as the building blocks of material reality.
With these points in mind, I have been wondering about the impacts and consequences of the following hypothetical a canon events. I would like to hear your opinions on these.
Age of Demons: During the Age of Demons, which supposedly lasted since almost the beginning of time and for eons, the godlike overlords reigned over the mortal children of eberron and the celestial children of siberys uncontested. There was nothing but suffering, misery, agony, fear, it was literal hell on eberron for most of the world's history. - During that time, how would this have affected the planes? As far as I know, this was never adressed before in any capacity. - Did the perpetual suffering of mortals lead to a permanent nightmare dream of the age on Dal Quor? - Did this constant of mortal suffering lead to the layers of Thelanis being mainly defined by sorrowful and dark stories, for misery is all mortal-kind knew during this age? - Did Feyspires manifest on eberron during that time, and if so, what relationship could the fiends have had with the fey?
Reality-Rewrite by the Daelky: As mentioned in the overview, the daelkyr have, at least once, fully rewritten the entire history of the material world. While I already pointed out that most planes are self-contained and either don't care or mostly don't care about the material, there are some things that are bugging me about the premise of this entire concept. - If the planes are unaffected by the meddling of the daelkyr with the material, does that mean that, for example, the infinite archive of daanvi contains the knowledge of not just the entire history of our prime material plane, but every other prime material plane that has ever existed? And if not, does that mean its archives are being rewritten everytime the prime material changes, thus meaning it is affected indirectly? - The same goes for the vault of memories of dolurrh. Are the stored memories of mortals erased and replaced by those of the dead of the new reality, or does the vault contain the memories of the dead of previous incarnations of the material plane? - Similairly to the parts about thelanis and Dal Quor during the Age of Demons, are the Dream of the Age and the stories of Thelanis rewritten to fit the themes of the newly imposed material reality, or do they stay the same? - On that note, do you think the Daelkyr have to conquer a world first to be able to reshape it with the maze of reality, or can they just do it at any time? If the former is necessary, how is it possible that a single dragon, Vvaraak, had the knowledge of how to (potentially) permanently halt the advancement of the daelkyr and prevent them from rewritting reality as we know it? It seems absurd that no one in the past incarnations of reality had that idea before, especially as Githeberron was described as a far more harmonous and united world (See Sardior https://keith-baker.com/dm-gem-dragons/), with just as powerful and knowledgable dragons. (Note: This point can probably be easily resolved by keeping the incomprehensible and enigmatic plans of the daelkyr in mind, for they may be even want to be bound and knew this would happen.) - Finally for Xoriat, if the planes are unaffected, does that mean that they may have remains of mortals or mortal meddling of past incarnations of the material in some of their layers? For example, the frost giants are living on risia, essentially preserved forever, due to the plane's properties. If that is the case, would the astral plane not be the only plane with remains of past incarnations of eberron, as described in Chronicles of Eberron (Page 114). And if the remains vanish once the material is rewritten, these planes are also indirectly affected by the meddling of the daelkyr
Destruction of Cyra and the moons in general: The destruction of the moon cyra, by the Cul'sir dominion, is a monstrous fact in itself, with immense implications. - If the moons are the anchors of the outer planes to the material, and are an essential part of the material plane itself, what would happen if they are all destroyed? Would the material plane even be able to continue to properly function, or would it only affect manifest zones and have no other effect whatsoever (as it seems to be the case with Dal Quor, and to some extent Xoriat with the Gatekeeper seals). If the later is true, why do the moons exist in the first place? What is their purpose in the fabric of the material plane (Except for being a really cool gameplay and narrative tool for interplanar shenanigans)? - Regarding the former part, do the dragons simply have the power to destroy the moons and cut of all the planes from the material forever? They teached the giants arcane magic, and while the giants likely developed the means to destroy the moon themsevles, the dragons could surely do it as well without many problems. - Another curious fact is mentioned in the Dal Quor section of Exploring Eberron (Page 159), which states that not even planeshift or astral travel can get you to Dal Quor or vice versa. The later is further elaborated on in the astral plane section of chronicles of eberron (Page 115), which states that the color pools (which allow interplanar travel between the planes and the astral plane) of Dal Quor are impossibly black and inaccessable. With these two things in mind, are the moons not evidently much more important to the multiverse as a whole than just for the material plane? Without the moons, interplanar travel by any means is impossible, for any plane. To further emathize on my former point with this, do the dragons simply have the power to destroy the fabric of the entire multiverse by blowing up the moons? That would be incredibly wild and almost absurd, and I cannot imagine that the inhabitants of the outer planes would simply not care, if their only means of interplanar travel is destroyed by the seemingly irrelevant mortals. - Finally, this also brings up a wild question regarding my penultimate part about the previous section for the daelkyr: Could one theoretically blow up Lharvion and prevent the daelkyr from ever meddling with the material plane again, and thus preventing them from altering reality? Also, if the effects of the destruction of cyra are present in the timeless astral plane, which contains countless remains of stuff from the previous incarnations of eberron, and even prevent the other planes from reaching Dal Quor, does that mean Cyra has been wiped out from all possible incarnations and alternate timelines of eberron? This hypothesis is probably the wildest one in this whole post!
Finally, I want to ask you all: What theories do you have about the planes and their interconnections? How do they interact in your eberron, if at all? What things transpired between them in your eberron and what wild events occured in your planar systems?
With all that said, I think I finally reached the end of my essay. Thanks to anyone who takes their time to read this post and I am very curious about your opinions and theories. Cheers! ^^

I know this is unnecessarily long, so if you are not in the mood for reading, I understand. But I would greatly appreciate anyone who would take the time to read my story that is probably TMI and badly in need of some editing. I just really need some advice from people whose heads are less cloudy than mine.
My fiancé M/42 and I F41 have been together for about 4 years and have known each other since high school. I knew he was a recovering addict when I got together with him but I fell head over heels in love and didn’t see the relapse on the horizon that would occur shortly after the honeymoon phase and would eventually almost kill me - I took a swipe of some mystery powder and touched it to my tongue (fentanyl) thinking it would help me get through the most stressful day of my life as i was ceaning out his place while I was packing him up for detox. It was a total freak accident, I’m not an addict, never done anything like that in my life, I’m a single mom and a kindergarten teacher, but I loved him so much I just followed him down the rabbit hole and honestly just became so disoriented in this world I (naively) didn’t understand or even realize I had signed up for.
Anyway, He literally saved my life, and said I also saved his, because that day is what motivated him to get and stay clean for good despite being an active heroin addict for the majority of his life.
He worked an incredibly thorough program, and he gained more friends, money, and more overall success in 2 years than I’ve been able to scrounge up in an entire lifetime. And it’s no surprise honestly. He’s a special person. Absolutely brilliant, charismatic, driven, and has a heart of gold.
Within a year of getting sober, he moved me and my daughters into a gorgeous home adjacent to a golf course, bought luxury vehicles for both me and him, convinced me to quit my teaching job which was making me miserable, so I could finally be fully present for my girls, and then put a giant diamond ring on my left hand. He completely spoils us. We went from having nothing to having every tangible thing, we could possibly need.
The stability that he provided for us meant the world to a single mom who was barely making ends meet, but it was always just the icing on the cake for me. He’s my best friend in the world, he makes me laugh so hard my mouth hurts from smiling, he show me that he loves even the parts of myself that I don’t find lovable. I found my soulmate.
His program started slipping after 2 1/2 years (last November). He was already struggling in his role of being a stepfather, and we were fighting a lot about parenting stuff. He has a lot to learn, has little patience, and seems to have very unrealistic expectations of my kids. He wanted Parenting to be this effortless thing, and he just doesn’t get that it’s not. And that kids are not always going to behave themselves and that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. so we were fighting a lot.
In December, he started complaining about his chronic back pain again (a real issue for him as he’s had five back surgeries due to a snowboarding accident in his early 20s-this was during that height of Purdue Pharma and what got him hooked on pain meds)
While I know he was legitimately in pain, it was also a red flag because pain was the culprit for his last relapse. He decided to go in for a sixth surgery and was told he would have to wait three months. He found a surgeon who has made a lot of profit off of him over the years (as he’s a PI attorney) and was willing to prescribe him generous amounts of pain pills to get him through the three months of increasing pain that he was experiencing. He spent the next three months in bed, depressed, checking out, taking pills depressed, checking out- as I became increasingly suspicious that his behavior was much too loopy for the amount of medication he was being prescribed. I fell into the role of his nurse, and his babysitter. Making sure he didn’t text to nonsense to clients, making sure he didn’t fall and make his back worse, making sure he wasn’t interacting with the kids, etc
I knew he wasn’t being honest with me, but he just kept gaslighting me. It honestly felt like he was psychologically tormenting me, treating me as though I was totally paranoid, heartless and out of line. I thought after the surgery, it would finally get better. I made a promise that I would be there for him because he had never had anyone there for him for the previous surgeries and it had been a really traumatic experience for him in the past. I really stepped up and tried so hard to his rock. The hospital experience was horrific, mainly because no amount of diloted was relieving him of the pain. None of the nurses understood why he needed so much more than everyone else, but I think his tolerance had just become so high.
After that nightmare was finally over I was really counting on things getting better, as the plan was for him to taper off the meds, live pain-free, and get back to normal. It didn’t go that way. It just kept getting worse and no matter how many times I told him that I didn’t trust him he just had an excuse for an explanation for everything. He is a master manipulator and I listened to him do it to everyone, doctors, the pharmacist he formed a “friendship” with, literally everyone.
On Mother’s Day, it got to a point where he couldn’t hide it anymore. He disappeared for the day, Ended up, passing out at a gas station and was unreachable for hours, when he finally came home, the car was all fucked up and he claims it was someone else’s fault. He went straight to his home office and I didn’t see the rest of the night until I walked in on him smoking crushed up pills. After that, he confessed everything to me, including the time that he told me not to check the mail because he had a special surprise for me to thank me for all the love and support I gave him To help him through his surgery. it turned out he had drug dealers sending him drugs in the mail. Needless to say there was no surprise for me me. Just heartbreak and betrayal. I felt like a fool.
I was still processing this the next day when , after insisting on taking a photo of me in these designer sunglasses he purchased for me out of guilt. I asked him not to take my photo, because I had tears in my eyes, but he insisted. He was napping next to me and I opened his phone to erase the photo. we’ve always had each other’s passwords, and have looked through each others photos before for various reasons, sharing photos, etc. I cannot emphasize enough how much I trust his loyalty to me when it comes to anything other than drugs.
But for some reason, all of my photos, the ones I was taking on my phone were showing up in his feed. I was so confused, so I started scrolling through deleting unflattering double chin pictures of myself when I came across that menu photos organized based on face recognition. One of them was his ex. I remember him telling me he deleted all of his photos of her the first time he told me he loved me.
I opened it and scrolled through hundreds of pictures of their happy life together. The pictures got more and more sexual, one of her with her legs spread, another another of them in the bathtub together, her kissing him while he had his hands around her neck, another screenshot of her naked in the shower with a thumbnail shot of him in the corner obviously jerking off to her on FaceTime. Because I’m a masochist I decided to take it one step further and look in his video folder. I found a There I found a thumbnail shot if a close-up of him penetrating her. I watched it and it just completely crushed whatever was left of me.
I’m normally a really passive person, and I just completely lost my mind. I reacted as though I had caught him cheating on me. I just couldn’t handle the physical evidence of such a close up shot of him being inside another woman. It’s stupid because I know, like me, he has a past. Obviously he’s been with other women. Obviously he’s been attracted to them. But it just scarred my brain, I literally haven’t even been able to eat since because I’ve been so nauseous. I know it’s ridiculous, because this is a reality I was well aware existed, but seeing it with my own eyes… I don’t know what to say. Other than that I need a lobotomy.
He says he erased all of those videos and photos from his phone, and something weird happened where all of his photos from the cloud just re-uploaded when he got a new phone. He’s not a technical person and I actually believe him because, aside from being a complete liar when it comes to drugs, he has always show me the upmost, integrity, love and loyalty. So it’s not that I don’t believe him. I just can’t get that image out of my head.
I can’t tell if this intense emotional reaction I’m having would be the same reaction anyone would have if they saw what I saw, or if I’m combining the feelings of betrayal over the gaslighting and the relapse…, the last four months of feeling completely invisible, hopeless, and like he was choosing drugs over me. My mind is like mush and I seriously can’t differentiate between these two very separate issues. I’m so confused, but that’s what gaslighting does to you. It makes you question your reality.
He said that he’s finally willing to go into detox, so at this point, I have waited this long, it would be silly not to stick around and see if he’s finally going to put an end to this. What’s getting me is that he’s still making excuses, still not seeming very remorseful, and is still so deep in self-pity that he doesn’t seem to have any awareness of how badly I’m hurting because of him. It feels like he just doesn’t care. anyone who’s ever loved an addict knows that feeling well.
I’m in Al-anon, and I’m well aware of all of the things I should be doing, focusing on myself, etc. but I’m just not doing well, and I can’t seem to find my way out of this dark hole. Anyone who has made it this far deserves some sort of a Reddit badge of honor. This was more of an autobiography than a simple question. I just wanna hear some outside input because I don’t trust my own mind right now. I’m willing to take your criticism, just please be kind. I know I’ve made mistakes, I’m just hurting so badly. I can’t seem to sort through this. Thank you so much if you took the time to read all of this and still want to respond. You have no idea how much it means to me.

i recognise that the ashlands has just released, but my interest since the start of the game has and always will be the deep north because of how i play the game
In every world ive ever played in, i make my way to the deep north to create a castle spanning 1/4 to 1/3 of the biome, it is an understatement to call these builds a gargantuan undertaking, but i love them a feature of all of these builds are wolves and trapped fenrings or ulvs the mountains is my favourite biome, i loved the caves, i loved the fenrings and ulvs, the cultists, farming for the fenris claws, and the fenris set which is still my main set with the mountains being my favourite biome, for me the deep north is going to be "the mountains 2" and i simply cant contain my excitement and need to speculate
with that out of the way i suppose i should clarify this will be a rambly post, as i said im very excited about this update specifically so i apologise in advance, i will condense my thoughts at the bottom of the post
getting right into it, the biome boss. i have a few ideas for this one, whilst i can see a frost giant being the biome boss, i could also see arguments for nidhogg or even fenrir himself. if i could choose based on my bias, id pick fenrir, but i also believe there would be no better suited biome boss than him in the mountains one of the unique mobs is of course, the cultists, the ulvs and the fenring, all quite clearly in reference to fenris, whilst the north could take a completely different approach, maybe more towards frost giants, i think building off of the fenris idea would allow for so much more creativity
building off of the fenris world boss idea, we could have tameable, rideable dire wolves (if this isnt the angle they take so help me god with my own two hands i will mod this into existence, even if its as crude as simply making a normal wolf bigger, i will have this) i would love the whole, fenrir cult thing to be expanded upon too because i feel like were just glossing over the fact that in this purgatory world theres just casually a cult that worships fenris?
we could see the heavy armor set take up a wolf like theme, similar to what people have done in mods, we could see a new mage weapon that transforms you into an ulv or a fenring or a cultist- you get the idea here, you become the monster and control it for a set time, or perhaps until you "die", wherein youd be reverted back to your human state?
we could see an expansion on the whole archetype that the fenris claws brought forward, because whilst they are a fist weapon so that they have the unique interaction with the fenris set, they are actually daggers. my only complaint is that the heavy attack for the fenris claws is a kick? id like to see a new "fist" weapon or maybe the devs actually leaning into fist weapons like gauntlets at some point, because for right now the only fist weapon is the fenrir claws
i have too many thoughts and ideas for this update surrounding fenris and frost giants, to condense my thoughts;

• fenris world boss
• expansion on the fenris cult
• expansion on fist weapons
• tameable, rideable dire wolf (PLEASE)
• mage weapon that turns you into a cultist or maybe even that suped up cultist from hildrs request
• "heavy" fenris set that gives you +10-15 fist skill or dagger skill with a unique weapon that when paired with the set, hits noticeably harder, i want to feel how i did when i first donned a full set of fenris armor with the claws
• at least some type of nod to frost giants
• some form of "secret" similar to the abyssal weapons or the new secret in ashlands, something similar to the fenris set in the mountains that you could miss if you dont look hard enough

So I read the profile for the giant spiders and they have this web weapon which is thrown if I understand correctly. If they hit, the target is immobilised (like the spell) until end of turn.
What I don't understand is how this is useful?
The throw will either happen in the movement phase if you're charging and then the target will be unable to move anyway since they will be in combat. Or it will happen during the shoot phase when you can't move anymore.
So what is the use case? Prevent a heroic move during the fight phase?
Or does this count as unable to move away after a duel and doubles the wound dice?
For the life of me I don't see how this is actually helpful.
Edit: someone made me realise I was reading the immobilise spell instead of the paralyze spell. It makes so much more sens now. Thanks !

1. The Bat in the Belfry - 3/5 (In terms of a Batman introduction episode, this does a decent job. It skips the origin story because superhero cartoons are allergic to them for some reason. But this at least vaguely alludes to Bruce's parents being gone, on top of introducing the struggle of being both a famous playboy and the Batman. As a result, the story is fairly generic though. Joker wants to release a laughing gas across Gotham. Gee, I haven't seen that one a dozen times. That said, this iteration of Joker has a really unique and wacky design. Along with zany acrobatic moves that are fun to watch and a great performance from Kevin Michael Richardson, it more than makes up for the subpar story. I also liked the side focus on Bennett and Fa Mulan- Sorry, Detective Yin. They're fun characters.)
2. Call of the Cobblepot - 3/5 (Penguin is quite acrobatic for a pudgy little guy. Alongside Rupert Thorne doing parkour in the previous episode, it seems the show wants to sell me on the idea that these chubby guys are just as combat capable as the Batman. And did they really have to give him the Danny DeVito hands? That's not a mandate anymore! I liked Alfred getting involved in this episode, though he doesn't really do much besides go to the Cobblepot manor. But it's funny that he does so in search of a tray.)
3. Traction - 4/5 (Colorful iteration of Bane. Why is his skin all red? He looks like a monster. But it's a cool twist on the character, so whatever. Although his motivations don't match up to the rad design, since after getting paid to destroy the Batman, all he wants to do is "take over Gotham", which he apparently thinks will be accomplished by just wreaking havoc. What is this, The Spectacular Spider-Man? I did like Alfred having to come and rescue Bruce, and the cute flashback where Alfred comforts him.)
4. The Cat and the Bat - 3/5 (This one's good, but mostly for the action setpieces. I think the rugged artstyle lends itself very well to snappy action, particularly the final scene with the Batman and Catwoman against the Yakuza. And the stuff before with Batman having to catch up to Selina messing with his Batmobile controls was neat too. But I can't say Catwoman leaves much of an impression on me in this one.)
5. The Man Who Would Be Bat - 4/5 (Kirk Langstrom as a character works pretty well as a kooky old man. I liked the visuals for his echolocation. As for the actual story...I mean it's just a typical Man-Bat story. Langstrom becomes the Man-Bat and goes crazy, so Batman stops him. But I did like the larger inclusion of Bennett and Yin, as I like their additions in this show as foils-yet-vaguely-allies to Batman.)
6. The Big Chill - 3/5 (So in this show Mr. Freeze is just another generic jewel thief. Not that I want this series to just copy paste Batman: The Animated Series, but simplifying the villains like this makes it less compelling by default. In fact here, he was always a criminal, he just happened to get ice powers. That said, his design is actually quite rad, and I did like the addition that he has a vendetta against the Batman. Plus it's funny that he took revenge on a random hobo, just for being in his way a few years ago.)
7. The Big Heat - 4/5 (Gee, I bet the writers thought they were hilarious putting these two titles next to each other. I'd say what this episode does slightly better than the others is showing the "struggle" of balancing the Bruce life with the Batman life. And actually giving the villain a narrative connection to it, instead of his schemes just serving as a vague lesson to learn. Firefly himself had a pretty cool looking suit, and the sky action was pretty nifty. Plus it was cathartic when Batman took him down to ground level and stomped. Nitpick: They forgot to animate Batman's mouth in the reflection of the puddle. I hope somebody got fired for that blunder.)
8. Q&A - 4/5 (Bruce listening to hiphop in his earbuds at a classical music theatre... Yeah this sure is a unique Batman. This is the first episode where I was genuinely interested in the story and villain. For starters, since they didn't immediately show me who it was, I got to remain curious about the kidnappings. Then I appreciated that they were connected to a personal vendetta rather than just wanting to steal jewels. I think Batman discovered the mystery a bit too quickly though. He didn't research the victims connections, he just clicked a button and the Batwave did it for him. But I enjoyed Cluemaster. Funny design. He's HUGE. I chuckled at Batman casually walking into his his moms house and her thinking she's his friend. And I thought it was fun how he defeated Cluemaster by asking the Batman's identity. Side note, that is an enormous basement.)
9. The Big Dummy - 4/5 (Wow, it's Homer Simpson! Well actually, Scarface sounds more like Krusty the Clown when he's yelling. That aside, we're back to villains just wanting to steal stuff for profit. Yeah, sure, whatever. Scarface trying to slap Batman was funny, though. And I found the idea of making him a huge puppet where Wesker himself takes the puppet position by the giant arm a funny twist on the character. The vague subplot about Bruce having a date with some Becky chick feels kind of tacked on and unnecessary, but I digress.)
10. Topsy Turvy - 4/5 (First "villain comes back for revenge" episode. Joker's plan is unfortunately fairly generic, but his zaniness still makes it fun. Not to mention seeing the Batman locked in an Arkham cell and dressing up as Joker. Why did Batman lock in the guard when leaving though? Rude for no reason. Also, I'm glad the fake Joker in this episode had to stay quiet so he won't be found out, unlike in The New Batman Adventures where a goon dressed up as Joker can just perfectly imitate his voice.)
11. Bird of Prey - 4/5 (Okay, I'm just gonna say it: Stop showing front facing Alfred! Without that little patch of visible hair, he looks completely bald, and it's weird! That aside, I guess after the series of villain introduction episodes, it's time for a batch of sequels. This is the better sequel than the Joker one, since I liked that Penguin had a clear cut motive. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but Penguin's zaniness was more amusing. No doubt helped by Tom Kenny's performance. Him wreaking havoc around Wayne Manor and harassing Alfred was just funny. And it made Alfred hitting him with a chair in the end better. I thought his rooftop battle with the Batman was pretty creative, and I liked that Alfred dressed up as Batman to fool the journalist. Also how he intentionally kicked their video tape into the fire.)
12/13. The Rubber Face of Comedy/The Clayface of Tragedy - 4/5 (The cops literally have Joker at gunpoint but they let him proceed with his slow getaway. I'm starting to understand why Batman keeps one-upping them. Great two-parter though, but part 1 is really nothing but setup for the real meat which is part 2. Part 1 is just about Joker causing chaos again, except the tone is more dramatic on account of this being meant to be more serious than the average episode. And while Joker's antics are fun, given how little it had to do with part 2 other than him being the cause for Bennett becoming Clayface, they didn't really need to spend a WHOLE episode for just that setup. It results in part 1 being just good, while part 2 is fantastic. Sadly, combined, I can't give them 5/5. But part 2 gets that honorary score for itself. You could have cut Joker's generic havoc-wreaking in half and have the Clayface transformation start around the 10 minute mark of part 1, leaving you with about 30 minutes to develop it further. But then they couldn't have that cliffhanger, now could they?
As for the actual story... Depressing. I'd say it's a bit early to change the status quo of Bennett since while he is a good character, we haven't really seen MUCH of him, so it's not a huge blow to suddenly make him a villain. But it's a pretty good, genuinely saddening twist regardless. And while the emotional moments feel a little hurried (hence why you could have cut some Joker nonsense) I think they're effective enough. Yin crying, etc. And Bennett's transformation itself is genuinely horrifying stuff, so you really feel the fear he must be going through.)
14. The Cat, the Bat, and the Very Ugly - 3/5 (And now we're on villain team-up episodes. Except they're still just generic stories about them wanting to steal stuff! Well, okay, I guess Penguin DOES want to use the relics to... I don't know, blow stuff up? It just isn't very riveting is all. I do find Batman and Catwoman being stuck to each other interesting in theory, but they don't really do much fun with it. And why did Batman lie to Yin about it? I guess he's worried he'll look suspicious if he's with Catwoman, but also, he could have just told the truth? The lie just incriminated him more. I also question this because the episode ends with Yin TRUSTING Batman, which makes no sense if she literally caught him in a lie the FIRST time she called him about a case.)
15. Riddled - 3/5 (That's certainly a unique version of Riddler. I respect it, simply because it's fun that the show dares to completely revamp characters like this. But the episode itself is mostly just decent. Yin and Bats going across town solvring riddles is mildly fun, but the actual confrontation with Riddler is just okay. I did like the 20 questions game, but couldn't Batman easily get out of that by not answering? I found it funny how dense the Police Chief was to understand even the simplest riddles, especially with how bluntly Yin had to explain the last one. Side note: Riddler uses the term "brainiac" in this. But that term exists because of the Superman character. So has a Brianiac attack on Metropolis happened here and been made publicly known or what?)
16. Fire & Ice - 4/5 (Gee, with a title like that, I sure was scratching my head wondering which two villains it could be about. I'd say while this episode is good, it felt a bit thinly set up as nothing but "what if ice villain with fire villain??". I did find it amusing that they turned on each other near the end and the conflict just became Heat vs. Cold. That scene with Yin yapping about knowing Bruce's secret though... Give me a break. Even if they WERE gonna have her find out his secret identity, that's most certainly saved for a Serious:tm: season finale or something with heavy stakes, not a random Firefly episode.)
17. The Laughing Bat - 4/5 (Golden concept for an episode. Joker trying to imitate the Batman is unhinged and hilarious. And Penguin being caught in the crossfire completely discombobulated by the switcheroo was great. Praise aside, I was a little disappointed that Batman turning into Joker didn't go further than...he can't stop laughing. Couldn't have Joker-ified him any more? White skin? ANYTHING else to have him also vaguely look the part? Overall I also felt there was too much focus on Bruce laughing as opposed to Joker being the Batman, when that was the best part.)
18. Swamped - 3/5 (While I appreciate that this is a villain introduction episode that goes beyond them being a jewel thief", Croc wasn't too interesting. He wants to flood Gotham because he likes water, but then Batman stops him. Although I liked the way he did it by forcing him to stay in water. :ohgood: Also neat that this episode introduces the Batcave "museum". This series gradually introducing all of these iconic aspects of Batman lore as opposed to having it all pre-established is fun.)
19. Pets - 4/5 (Season 2 really IS the season of villain team-ups. I was rolling my eyes at the prospect of another generic Penguin episode of him wanting to steal stuff, but got my excitement back up when they showed Langstrom. Although they could have devoted some more time to Langstrom actually being aware of Penguin's scheme and wanting out instead of just... One. And overall, it IS just another episode where Penguin tries to steal stuff, so yeah.)
20. Meltdown - 4/5 (Wow, this was JUST like the Batman Beyond episode "Meltdown". While a good episode, I have to say the Bennett-Clayface conflict feels a bit forced at times. Him repeatedly getting into encounters with Joker, the very man who caused him to become Clayface, and struggling with not morphing to take his rightful revenge? Valid. Understandable. But him randomly being willing to kill Batman and become an outlaw on a whim? I don't know. His fight scene against Joker on stilts was pretty fun though. That said, Bennett is a good guy and all that, so I'm hopeful for a redemption arc where in the end he becomes a superhero with his powers.)
21. JTV - 4/5 (It's another Joker shenanigans episode. What is there to say? Not that that's a bad thing, since Joker shenanigans ARE fun. He concocts some nutty TV show-themed scheme, and then Batman stops him. Cash was a bit of an annoying inclusion though. Did he even serve any narrative purpose? I guess he vaguely emphasizes how well Yin and Batman work together, by him working badly with her. I did like the "animated" JTV promo. But who even made that? I guess one of Joker's henchmen can animate.)
22. Ragdolls to Riches - 4/5 (Oh boy, the umpteenth episode about a villain stealing some jewels. Wait, it's TWO villains this time. Wow, this changes everything! Jokes aside, it actually kind of does, because Ragdoll is entertaining enough on his own. His costume is cool and unique in its simplicity, and his distorting body leads to some very expressive movements and action which make for a fun watch. And if that wasn't enough, his rivarly with Catwoman and repeatedly trolling her on purpose was pretty darn amusing. Though despite being the titular character, the episode is mostly about the Bruce/Batman/Selina/Catwoman mystery. It is fun seeing the "4" of them interact and not realize who the other is. Especially when Batman, the world's greatest detective, believes Selina's blatant charity scam and hands her a huge check. It's funny seeing Bruce be this oblivious.)
23. The Butler Did It - 3/5 (Another flipping jewel thievery episode! At least there's a mystery element to it this time, in that you initially don't know who the villain is. And when you do find out it's Spellbinder, there's the twist that he swaps his mind control targets from butlers to their employers. And it was really fun to see Alfred be the one to figure this out and escape the room he put himself in to save Batman's ass. I liked the bit where Batman hesitated to punch Alfred. And I think some of the hallucinations were fairly creative. That said, it was still a jewel thievery episode! Get some new plots, show.)
24. Grundy's Night - 4/5 (While I did have thoughts on this version of Grundy, those feel irrelevant when it turns out he was just Clayface in disguise anyway. That said, props for making a twist I could genuinely not predict. However, the reason I couldn't have predicted this is because after all that development of Bennett and his descent into Clayface, I wouldn't have expected his next appearance to just be him doing something generically villainous that Batman must put a stop to. It comes off as a bit awkward, because you'd think this would be more emotionally significant considering he was Bruce's best friend. But not only do we not even see his Bennett form in this episode, Batman doesn't even refer to him as such, just "Clayface". And then he goes home all cheery as if he stopped any ol' twerp. Huh?)
25. Strange Minds - 4/5 (While this episode falls into "Joker shenanigans" territory again, at least the focus here is less about just stopping him and instead delving into his mind. It leads to the zaniness being cranked up more, which is fun to see especially with how expressive Joker is in this show. Although I feel like they could have been a bit more creative with the visuals. I liked the flying fish, Joker as the moon, and the normal Joker managing the idea vault. But other than that it doesn't get more wacky then just a crowd of Jokers. But I liked the solution of how Batman made him disclose the information by making him think they had exited his mind. Cliché, but clever. It's a bit weird how Hugo Strange spots Batman in Joker's mind and immediately assumes it's the actual guy, though. For all he knows that could have been mentally conjured up by Joker. Batman would likely be on his mind a lot. Also, Harley Yin.)
26. Night and the City - 4/5 (Woah, TRIPLE villain teamup? Daring today, are we? I liked that Penguin didn't even know who Riddler was. And despite that, he's clearly stomping both Penguin and Joker in this contest. He came up with the idea to catch Batman in the first place, had the most elaborate bat-bait AND was the last guy standing in a fight against him. Joker and Penguin just followed Batman and quickly fumbled. I guess with Commissioner Gordon and the Bat-Signal being introduced in this episode that this marks the end of Batman being an enemy of the GCPD. Not that I mind, since while I liked the development of it, with Bennett gone and Yin already on his side, there wasn't a lot further you could push it. It's a shame this is Yin's last appearance, though. I don't really understand why, since while she's fired in this episode (for like what, a few hours?), she gets the job back and everything goes back to normal. Frankly it would have been more interesting if she WAS fired and then became a vigilante herself/sidekick to Batman as referenced in this very episode.)
Movie: The Batman vs. Dracula - 3/5 (Starting the story with Joker and Penguin? Yeah, this is a The Batman movie alright. They really can't help but spam these two villains. That said, decent movie, but I'm really scratching my head as to why they thought Dracula was the ultimate villain they could utilize for it. There is some thematic connection with him being able to transform into a bat, obviously... But that's as deep as it goes. And the few bits of Bruce recalling the death of his parents was like, come on, you really felt a need to rely on that as a plotpoint in a movie about Dracula?
The film, much like the show, is fairly barebones. Dracula rises and wants to take over Gotham, so Batman must stop him. The side story of Bruce having a romance with Vickly Vale feels very tacked on and pointless since not only was she not much of an interesting character, just a dime a dozen love interest, but she doesn't even appear in the series going forward. So, what? Also, did Bruce really need to hastily steal someone's lipstick and a platter to write "Alucard" and mirror it to figure out it spells Dracula backwards? Just rearrange the letters in your head.
The most interesting thing about the movie is it gets slightly more visually grim. Stuff Penguin bleeding in the beginning alone was a surprise, as tame as it was, because that's not something I would have thought the censors would allow. Of course I quickly realized it was plot relevant, but then they immediately go on to show Dracula "killing" a guy. Which, while I know having finished the movie that he was cured, the way the scene initially portrays it is obviously supposed to make you think that's what happened. There's also Joker practically bathing in blood and Dracula literally being burned alive in the end. Sheesh. So much for Batman's code. Vampire Joker is probably the best part of this movie. That blood bank scene is really cursed [good thing], and KMR's performance of Joker starving while Batman has him locked up was great. I mean Batman having to feed Joker his own blood just so he doesn't starve is a fairly unique plotpoint. Also his reaction to being un-vampire'd is pretty funny. "Where's Dracula?" "I'm looking at him".)

I've gotten through enough content in S4 to think I can share some thoughts.
A lot of these are rooted in opinions and designs from even well before Diablo 4.The ideology stems from good game design combined with peak Blizzard/Arpg thoughts.

• The itemization/Stats changes are amazing. Impressive improvements to all of them all around. While it is a shame the game didn't come out with stats being like this, this is still a tremendous step in the right direction.
  
• The same can be said for Crafting. Whatever they're doing, I'd love to see more of it. Make gear feel sought after and crafted. Tempering was iffy to begin with for me due to rerolls, but overall I enjoy it and think it's critical to new crafting. Diablo needs to move away from giving perfect items to everyone all the time.
  

-Rares/Legendaries are way better. The clear separation is cool. I do wish they'd show an indicator on the items with aspects added to them, on whether or not the base was a rare or legendary.
-Gems are headed in the right direction, but I want to see more of this. They should be a bit harder to craft imo. As a caveat, I'd love to have Quality or Rarity for Gems you craft, similar to a range, or greater affix but for gems. This would expand their depth a tad bit and allow for other objectives and goals to aim for.

• Greater Affixes are awesome, I wish they were a tad bit more rare and impactful. With how they generate, they could make Legendary items with offstats that you wouldn't normally consider, truly legendary.
  
• The game runs better than at launch. Aside from network stutters while TPing, its mostly smoother.
  

Now.. for the more negative..

• The endgame feels shallow. There's two issues here. In 10 hours a character shouldn't be in endgame (let alone without a proper build..) A lot of this comes down to the balance being too simple now. It's likely a side effect of Stats changes, I'd expect this to be fixed next season. For the second, main issue: There's not much to do. 100, which should've been a goal, is way too easy. Wolf Honor can be done very fast. Duriels can be fought just about immediately. There's not much to aim for near the end game. I still dont understand what the endgame is supposed to head towards, with leveling and objectives becoming obsolete.
  
• The game needs to be balanced towards a harder more methodical direction very soon.
  
• I'm worried D4 is heading towards the same arcade-y poor feeling that D3 headed to. The Pit is a direct pull off of D3.
  

-Goblins feel bad because everything else feels too free/good.

The game is headed in the right direction, and I feel like they can make improvements still. Again, my thoughts havent changed much since even before D4, these opinions are rooted in having a good game, relative to the state of the game right now. I've never been an advocate for leveling too fast or gaining loot too fast as it should be an ultimate goal to achieve. I'd put myself in the casual bracket for the game, but the game has a giant gap in content where it always feels like "what's next...?" Now.

Recently I moved out and away from my boyfriend of 7 months. I moved in with a friend about an hour away. During the 7 months, it felt like a giant roller coaster. There were an insane amount of highs and lows. When things were good, they were really good, but when they were bad, they were really bad. It became very exhausting over time. On top of it, there were a ton of miscommunication, unresolved conflicts, him refusing to apologize or take accountability, him cutting me off constantly in conversations, not having my basic needs met, and resentment developing due to all of it. I spent months trying to communicate anything to him which always led him to being very defensive and shutting down. I was accused of creating problems and a bunch of "I didn't start anything so nothing was wrong or my fault" statements from him. If an issue was brought up and discussing it turned into an argument, he would physically become cold and distant from me for a couple of days after. In arguments he always spun it around about his abuse growing up, his abandonment issues, his ego problems, etc. It always made me feel worse for even trying to bring anything up to him. I always felt sorry and sad for him to have experienced so much pain in life. I eventually gave up on trying to communicate and shut down for the last 3 months of living with him.
Some other things that went on:
I am a full time student and I work on top of it. Finding time to do my school work without him pestering me became difficult. If I tried to do any homework at home, he would play a game or music loudly, ask me what I was doing, attempt to show me videos, etc (he worked from home so he was constantly there.) It felt like it was more than he could stand I couldn't give him attention 24/7. If I took my laptop to a cafe or the library, he was texting me asking me where I was and getting upset if I ignored him. It would blow up into arguments later on so I stopped doing that.
My job I worked second shift as a manager at a local store. He would constantly criticize it and say it wasn't a good job, the pay wasn't good enough, it wasn't giving me the relevant experience for my degree, I should change it, I should get a work from home job instead, I'm constantly gone at night, etc. I enjoyed the job because it got me out of the house and interacting with people.
He rarely cleaned. Dishes with food caked on them always left in the sink for me to clean up later. If I didn't, he would let them sit for days or even weeks. I would mention for him to do them but he never would. I always washed my own dishes and put them away when I was done. He would live out of a laundry basket mixed with clean and dirty clothing. He never vacuumed, mopped, picked up after himself, and constantly forgot to fill the water bowl for the cat and dog.
There was a bunch of other things too but those are just a couple.
The day I moved, I didn't tell him I was moving. I listened to my family and friends to not tell him anything. He was incredibly mad and upset with me. I was a monster, normal people don't just move out, a liar, a cheater, must be some other guy, etc. The person I moved in with is a female friend. I moved everything on my own into a moving van.
Since I moved, he has been making attempts to keep the relationship going. I feel vulnerable, tired, and exhausted. My brain has been extremely foggy since then. I feel confused and like I am having "withdrawal" symptoms from him. I have talked to to him on 2 occasions on the phone regarding everything since. He tells me he is changing and becoming a better person. He recognizes all the mistakes and wants to work stuff out. He even said he would see a couples therapist, even after he made multiple statements about how therapists give bad advice in the past. Part of my brain keeps holding on to him and I don't know why. It makes me feel sick. I have attempted to break things off with him and talked to him about how everything has made me feel but he refuses to take no for answer. He's like a totally different person.
I am not sure what to do I feel stuck, tired, vulnerable, and cloudy. I have never experienced someone like this before. My previous relationship were very different and ended on fairly amicable terms. Part of me wants to find out if he truly is willing to change and step up but part of me says don't do it.
I feel so torn on what to do?