We jumped into marriage quickly. Too quickly. Things were so great. He treated me like I have never been treated before. He said all the right things. He made me feel so good.
It was a long distance relationship. We met on an app as he was driving through my state (Kansas) for work. He lived in Florida. We talked on FaceTime almost 24/7 about 2-3 months with weekend visits. After those 2 or 3 months, he packed up everything and moved to Kansas to be with me. Everything was great. We were so happy, never fought, and created so many memories together.
Fast forward about 4-5 months later, 7 months into the relationship. He proposed. I of course said yes. Why wouldn’t I? Everything was perfect and I wasn’t thinking about anything except for that.
A month later we got married. I can’t quite remember why we jumped to marriage so quickly after the engagement, but we did. My grandpa married us with my mom, step dad and grandma there to “celebrate” with us.
Fast forward to the past 2 or 3 months. Everything is a fight. And I can’t figure out why. He’s constantly pointing out how awful I am, how I’m full of drama because I cry too much, and threatening to leave me. I’m no saint, don’t get me wrong. I’ve yelled also. I’ve called him names. I’ve blown up his phone when he’s ignoring me. But when I look back at all of our fights, I can’t figure out what I’ve done to deserve all of this. Yes, I fight back. But I can’t see what I’m doing to start this. He calls me oblivious, and maybe I am. Because I just don’t understand.
We’ve been married for 11 months, almost to the day. Our wedding reception is in 10 days. We are celebrating our marriage with our family. But right now I’m wondering what the hell we are even celebrating.
An example I’ll use is today. I was going over what’s left to be done before the reception. I told him next Friday we need to get all of the alcohol, soda, juice, and water, but we should wait until next week because there will be lots of Memorial Day deals. I told him the amount of everything I think we should get. That included me saying one two liter of sprite. He responded with “I think we should get two”. I marked it down and said okay. I then said “I just don’t want to get too much of everything and waste money. If we run out, we run out. There will be more stuff to drink.” I didn’t say it in an aggressive manner and I didn’t mean it in a way of saying we shouldn’t get two. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it, I don’t know, but I did. And he responded with “you know what, you figure it out. You control everything and want everything your way. You’re controlling and annoying.” All because of a two liter of sprite.
That’s how life is. I’m walking on eggshells. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but that’s how it feels. Everything is a fight. It’s usually all verbal and emotional despite one time of physical, but it’s still a fight. I’m just tired of it. Is this really what my life will be? Most days I just want to leave. To save myself my sanity. But I’m embarrassed. We got married so quick and have only been married 11 months. It would be so embarrassing to get a divorce. I just don’t know what to do.

I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit, plus this is like my first time posting that actually requires writing, so forgive me if I mess up in anyway shape or form. I feel like I've lost my purpose, I know for certain I've lost drive. This year has been hell in the short 5 months. Like the 1st days of January I woke up feeling heavy and depressed and the next day my USMC recruiter called me saying I've been DQ'd by BU-MED and I'll have to do more physical therapy, so I did that and in the end it was of no use, got full denial in March so my childhood dream of being a Marine was crushed. I got DQ'd for joint stiffness in my ankles, there was no issues with them other than the movement of bringing my toes towards my shin (easy way to describe the movement). Now to backtrack to Valentine's Day. Already didn't like the holiday for whatever reason. But later that night after a kickboxing class, I go to my room to eat and get on a phone call with my (at the time) boyfriend and then I hear my grandma come into the house crying so I go check on her and she told me that my mom died, just died. She's been fighting cancer since the pandemic, last time I saw was before things got bad and she looked terrible, and I think the most heartbreaking thing was that her hair was just barely there, my biggest memory of my mom was her hair, in my family we all have this thick beautiful hair. And I haven't seen her since then. So I've been dealing with her losing her and the fact my stepfather (hate him and his family) won't give my mom a burial or even a memorial. Nothing, he gave her nothing. When he'd start fights and shit with her that would stop me from going to visit her, and I barely got to visit her while I could. But anyway, last thing, my boyfriend broke up with me last month in April, like completely out of nowhere, we were having no problems, no fights, the previous days we were talking about me coming over to his (like we did ever weekend) and fooling around. But the previous day I was having a breakdown, I don't know what triggered it but at some point during work I just snapped, started feeling crying and running out. And then he texted me at some point the next saying "we need to talk" and I started having a panic while I'm just waiting for him to pick me so we could go to his house, he was my safe space, the only place I could feel vulnerable. He said that he wanted to grow as a person, it didn't sound like that, like there was another reason. And then at some point he said he didn't want to be out of my life and wanted to continue being friends, and I just said "no". The reason I said "no" is because I knew I couldn't love him as a friend. When I meet him in German class at the beginning of this school year, something inside said "he's the one" and I feel head over heels, and I'm from the southern Oklahoma, my last guess is that I would ever fall for a man, but I did. And I loved no matter his imperfections. And the few things we didn't agree on my love still never faltered. And I used to have this dream since I was like 13 or 14 and it was always the same, 2 kids running around, dog with them, golden sunset, sitting on a porch talking with somebody I obviously loved, every crush, and the one girlfriend I had before my ex I never heard their voice for saw their face the person's face and voice was like blurry, if that makes sense. But after I got with my ex and had the dream, I saw his face and heard his voice, and after that I was deadset on marrying him, I didn't tell him about that dream after it happened because that morning I was getting bitched at by my grandparents about something (by the way, they weren't happy about my gay relationship, their old southern Christians). I told him about that dream after we broke up, I sent him a Google doc because he flaked on us meeting up and talking and just told him a lot. And I used to have this thing with that could help like see tomorrow, sense it, whatever, it doesn't make sense but now it's gone. The only thing I "have" is an army contract for the infantry and I never wanted to join the Army. And I promised myself a long time ago that I'd never live for myself, only for somebody else. But now, I'm just this mess that's struggling with no purpose, no drive, nothing, I have no friends, no good family, no lover. I have nothing. My only hope is that I can talk to him and maybe get back together. But I doubt that'll happen, he just ignores me now.

This man is beautiful. I’ve been seeing him consistently for 2-3 months now, same time and everything. I can tell he’s very focused in his workout and doesn’t want to talk during so we’ve never locked eyes until recently.
I’ve always tried walking past him even if I go the long way lol. About a month ago or so I did something ballsy and just decided to go right up next to him while he was on the elliptical. I left a space in between us tho not to be weird but the gym was pretty empty so it was lowkey obvious bc. I silently worked out next to him for like 30min until he left. I know that’s so cringe but idk I was just feeling it and I know you’re supposed to do eye contact but like I said he has tunnel vision.
I take Pilates everyday at my gym and my class is upstairs where he frequents. The last few weeks he’s been walking past the Pilates window…. I didn’t realize it until yesterday because I’m like well I don’t know if he’s necessarily looking for me but let’s just say the other 3-4 girls in my class are in their 50s+… So the way he walks past the Pilates class window and looks is a 2-second interaction. He doesn’t stop and stare, he keeps walking to get to his machine. I also can’t anticipate when he’s going to peak, as in I can’t see him coming. So yesterday when he came up and looked, I was already facing in that direction and we locked eyes so hard it was like time stopped. I really needed to share this so thanks.
He’s the hottest guy at my gym and if I could just be his friend I’d be happy. I don’t mind how slow the gym crush phase can be bc it’s kinda nice. I’m surprised we’re still interested in each other for this long without talking lol. I don’t even know his name!

I'll try to keep this concise, but my boyfriend has a habit of making insensitive comments or comments that we have previously discussed were off limit topics and then gets wildly defensive and argues with me instead of just apologizing and it drives me insane.
For instance, I have a history with disordered eating and he has made many comments (which are societally normalized) on my eating habits .. aka should you be eating sweets or should we get something healthier, are you really getting a second piece of cake? I am 135 pounds and active but with my history these things bothered me. I asked him many times to cut it out and not comment or make suggestions on my eating habits.
Today we were chatting and I mentioned I was happy it was running season because I have a sweet tooth and running helps keep everything balanced. The conversation turned where he eventually said "why don't you challenge yourself to give up sweets for a month?"
I bristled and told him I don't like him commenting or suggesting things about my eating, once again. He got defensive and said I shouldn't be angry because he didn't mean any harm and proceeded to argue with me, incessently explaining his "good intent" instead of just apologizing.
I know he has good intent. He is a wonderful person with a kind heart. He is clumsy with his words and is forgetful. And he cannot own when he says hurtful things and instead explains I shouldnt be hurt because he didn't mean it to be hurtful.
My question is - How do I stop the arguing and get him to see that just because he didn't "mean" for a comment to hurt me doesn't give him a free pass?

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

My daughter (15F) got her first pair of Air Pods a couple of months ago for her birthday. Ever since, we’ve had the issue of her walking around the house with them in, us not being able to tell because her hair is long and covers her ears. That in itself wouldn’t be an issue but if we try talking to her without realizing they’re in and have to repeat her name or tap her on the shoulder, she gets irritated, rips one out of her ear and snaps “What?!”
We’ve tried talking about it. I said before she can’t use them as an excuse to not answer us or be open to talk. I’m not even looking for in-depth conversations here. But if I need to ask her to get her laundry out of the dryer so I can use it, I feel it’s not unreasonable for me to be able to come up to her and ask without her acting like I’m bothering her.
We’ve tried to compromise, one pod in when she’s walking around. She will for a couple of days but then go back to both. Let us know ahead of time if she’s going to the cone of silence. She will but then forgets.
After an incident when her dad went to ask her what she wanted for dinner and she snapped at him for “interrupting her song” (once again, he didn’t see the Air Pods were in), we had enough. We told her that she can only use the Air Pods in her room or outside the house when she goes for runs, is out with friends, etc. I told her it’s ridiculous that we can’t ever talk to her. She got huffy and said that wasn’t fair. I said if she doesn’t adhere to the rules, I’ll take them away altogether until she learns to be respectful.
Now she’s pissed and says we’re being totally unfair. Are we the assholes?

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I have had some RKS songs in various Spotify playlists and whatnot over the years but wasn't ever really a fan. Then the singles for Love Hate Music Box came out and I was blown away. I felt that "Overtime" was made specifically for me because:
1) Kacey Musgraves and I share a birthday 2) I'm also trans and the line "You told me that you wanted me, I told you you were brave" made my entire soul shake.
Then the album comes out and I think it is a top to bottom banger. There's 808s, there's rap beats, it sounds like the Gorillaz went to Nashville and came out as queer. I really understand that this is a departure from their past sounds and I am as precious about bands that are mine as anyone (STG, y'all say a cross word about Bayside and I'll fight to the death) so I don't take the opinions of older fans for granted.
The thing is that I have found so much shared identity and feelings in these songs. I have had to pause songs and think about why the last line makes a tear just happen or what's making me feel joy about a turn of phrase. And this has all made me excited to go back and listen to the older stuff and find those same soul shaking lyrics.
So while I will never tell a life long fan how to feel about an album, just know that this sound is bringing in new fans that love good music made with passion.

i am 19 and my SD is 52. my SD is in an unhappy 25+ year marriage. 3 kids. i felt guilty as our “arrangement” grew to be more serious. but he reassured me that him and his wife don’t talk that much unless it is about the kids. when he goes to work early and comes back late from home, she is asleep so they barely see each other.
when he opened up about his unhappy marriage and feeling like a stranger in his own home, i foolishly told him if i was in his position i would divorce and not just stay unhappy for the happiness of the kids. i said this very lightly and without thought. our relationship became very intense. he wanted me to move out of my parents house and move me into an apartment near by. and he said he wanted to marry me.
after we got into a huge argument about how i felt he was leading me on by saying he wanted to marry me but was still married, he went home from work and sat his wife down and told her he wanted a divorce. this was very shocking to me when he told me on call. and i felt so guilty. i felt like a home wrecker. i heard the sadness in his voice.
this was a few weeks ago and they wanted to tell their kids when his daughters come back from college. they came back just now and he texted me that he’s going to be busy for a while talking to them. he said it was emotional and hasn’t texted back since.
i feel like the worst person alive.
is this all my fault?

Abstract

AI is the most rapidly transformative technology ever developed. Consciousness is what gives life meaning. How should we think about the intersection? A large part of humanity’s future may involve figuring this out. But there are three questions that are actually quite pressing, and we may want to push for answers on:
1. What is the default fate of the universe if the singularity happens and breakthroughs in consciousness research don’t?
2. What interesting qualia-related capacities does humanity have that synthetic superintelligences might not get by default?
3. What should CEOs of leading AI companies know about consciousness?
This article is a safari through various ideas and what they imply about these questions.
Seeds of Science is a scientific journal publishing speculative or non-traditional research articles. Peer review is conducted through community-based voting and commenting by a diverse network of reviewers (or "gardeners" as we call them). Comments that critique or extend the article (the "seed of science") in a useful manner are published in the final document following the main text.
We have just sent out a manuscript for review, "A Paradigm for AI consciousness", that may be of interest to some in the ArtificialSentience community so I wanted to see if anyone would be interested in joining us as a gardener and providing feedback on the article. As noted above, this is an opportunity to have your comment recorded in the scientific literature (comments can be made with real name or pseudonym).
It is free to join as a gardener and anyone is welcome (we currently have gardeners from all levels of academia and outside of it). Participation is entirely voluntary - we send you submitted articles and you can choose to vote/comment or abstain without notification (so no worries if you don't plan on reviewing very often but just want to take a look here and there at the articles people are submitting).
To register, you can fill out this google form. From there, it's pretty self-explanatory - I will add you to the mailing list and send you an email that includes the manuscript, our publication criteria, and a simple review form for recording votes/comments. If you would like to just take a look at this article without being added to the mailing list, then just reach out (info@theseedsofscience.org) and say so.
Happy to answer any questions about the journal through email or in the comments below.

Bit of an odd situation here. I have an appraisal coming up where we will discuss career aspirations amongst other things.
In the past, I've always felt underpaid and craved development, so had no problem articulating my aspirations really.
However, my current role pays a fair package and relatively low levels of responsibility (compared to say 5 years ago, I earn over 50% more with perhaps 30% of the responsibility). Instead of 50hr weeks I comfortably get done what I need to during working hours (with the odd spike that I'm fine with).
Realistically, I suspect that any 'step up' will come with a lot more responsibility but not a huge uplift on salary. I'm not too concerned about ability to handle it, I used to do a role broadly at the same level as my manager and their peers and currently my skills are underutilised, but still I feel like perhaps I should 'coast' for a bit. My career has stagnated in recent times but I'm earning enough now that I see diminishing returns from climbing the ladder.
I'm wondering how to approach this, whether I should 'play the game' and sow the seeds of interest in promotion (I don't have to actually follow through on it), or perhaps I'm overthinking it and should just state I'm happy building out my current role for now and delivering value to the business via that?

Abstract

AI is the most rapidly transformative technology ever developed. Consciousness is what gives life meaning. How should we think about the intersection? A large part of humanity’s future may involve figuring this out. But there are three questions that are actually quite pressing, and we may want to push for answers on:
1. What is the default fate of the universe if the singularity happens and breakthroughs in consciousness research don’t?
2. What interesting qualia-related capacities does humanity have that synthetic superintelligences might not get by default?
3. What should CEOs of leading AI companies know about consciousness?
This article is a safari through various ideas and what they imply about these questions.
Seeds of Science is a scientific journal publishing speculative or non-traditional research articles. Peer review is conducted through community-based voting and commenting by a diverse network of reviewers (or "gardeners" as we call them). Comments that critique or extend the article (the "seed of science") in a useful manner are published in the final document following the main text.
We have just sent out a manuscript for review, "A Paradigm for AI consciousness", that may be of interest to some in the EA community so I wanted to see if anyone would be interested in joining us as a gardener and providing feedback on the article. As noted above, this is an opportunity to have your comment recorded in the scientific literature (comments can be made with real name or pseudonym).
It is free to join as a gardener and anyone is welcome (we currently have gardeners from all levels of academia and outside of it). Participation is entirely voluntary - we send you submitted articles and you can choose to vote/comment or abstain without notification (so no worries if you don't plan on reviewing very often but just want to take a look here and there at the articles people are submitting).
To register, you can fill out this google form. From there, it's pretty self-explanatory - I will add you to the mailing list and send you an email that includes the manuscript, our publication criteria, and a simple review form for recording votes/comments. If you would like to just take a look at this article without being added to the mailing list, then just reach out (info@theseedsofscience.org) and say so.
Happy to answer any questions about the journal through email or in the comments below.

I (21F) have been talking to this dude (22m) since March. During that time, we initially had around one or two hangouts weekly just trying to get to know each other. Whenever we hanged out, we tended to lose track of the time because we enjoyed talking and just getting to know one another. Time just flew by and by the time we checked the time, hours have passed.
At some point, the hangouts became more regular casual study sessions where we would just be next to each other studying (sometimes they turned into regular conversational hangouts and no study done but for the most part, we studied like we intended). He would ask what I was up to and I would let him know I was studying at the university library. He would join me after his class ended and we would be there until closing hours.
Then things got more intimate than intended one day (in the moment, it was consensual for both parties) and the next morning he messaged me saying he wanted to talk. He stated that he thought I was a cool person but he had this irrational thought about the night leading to pregnancy and how it made him paranoid. We never did penetration or anything that could result in it aside from casual touching. I told him the thought also crossed my mind and that I understood where he was coming from and it made me uneasy as well. Ever since, things felt off. We talked about why he felt that way and we concluded that that night was an outlier and won't happen again. We also discussed how his paranoia might stem from the fact that he and I did not know each other that well, and that if things were ever to lead to such consequences, he wouldn't feel comfortable with it. Essentially, we were moving too fast, something that I had agreed on. This talk also lead to labels--we decided that we were just friends with an interest in one another seeing if we had potential, which worked good because he and I were both inexperienced and this was all new to us so I had figured that would be a good pace for the both of us. A pacing where we would figure it out in time and we were just testing the waters. We also made it clear that I was more attracted to him than he was to me.
A few weeks past and we continued our study session leading up to graduation. Things were normal. Then we graduated.
We went to go watch a movie. He revealed to me the paranoia came back two times. He dreamed about it two times and would feel paranoid about it. I tried to help relieve the anxiety if I could. I reassured him that if something were to happen, I would tell him and get an abortion. And that I'm also updating him on when my next period comes. I also told him I got my period a week after that night. I was debating if I should just go on birth control to calm his nerves but idk, he and I aren't even in a relationship and my hormones and period are pretty stable. Meanwhile I'm also trying to think about why he feels this way. I end up going back to the fact that he is not interested in me. And that he feels forced to be in this situation. And that he's forcing himself to try and be attracted to me. That this is his subconsciousness screaming at him that he needs to get out of this situation. But when I ask him if this is the case, he says he's attracted to me, just not sure if he into me to the point where he thinks he can take it further. I understood where he was coming from. Because it was similar for me. It's been barely over two months. I still needed to get to know this guy. But at the very least, I knew I liked him and was willing to explore where this could lead to. He was still on the fence.
I ended up staying at his apartment the next weekend since he invited me. And my god, things were awkward. Perhaps we were both stressed and tired. He had a cert exam that he had been grinding on the past few weeks. He took it the morning of the sleepover and he passed!!! As for me, I was anxious with graduation and felt like I was behind on life since I was essentially jobless after graduation and just lost with what to do with myself. During the sleepover, it mainly consisted of us resting--laying on his couch and sleeping on the bed. When we tried playing board/card games, there was an awkward feeling in the air. Conversations didn't flow and died off awkwardly. I could feel that something was off about him too because something was amiss about him and his behavior. Just earlier the week leading up to the sleepover, we felt chill. We hanged out and were also in a call just vibing. But when the sleepover occurred, something was off. We ended up just sleeping from early Saturday evening to Sunday morning. I took a shower and left with a simple bye.
Then we met the next day because we had a dinner and movie planned. The awkwardness from the weekend still lingered. I couldn't fully be in the moment because it was bugging me how he felt off. When he dropped me off, I texted him I wanted to talk. We ended up in a call. I told him I was feeling off because of the weekend and that it was making me overthink and that it would be best if we stopped the physical intimacy. He said he was confused and that the way our conversations sometimes died off awkwardly made him unsure. We would have moments were we would hit it off really well, and others, the conversations just awkwardly died off. We both stated that perhaps it was a sign of incompatibility. He thought I was a cool person but that was it. I knew that I liked him somewhat, that I came into this with the mindset that this was something I wanted to try out and see how it played out. I guess he was just going with the flow. We settled on just being friends.
The next morning, I had a nagging feeling in my chest. I texted him if we could talk. I was going tell him I wasn't sure if I could be friends with him right away and cut him out off my life. But I failed to do so. Instead, I told him everything that I felt and left out the previous night. I told him that I wanted to test the waters a little longer since everyone likes to say 3 months is the amount of time you should aim for. He said he didn't know. We could be friends. Or we could try and see for a little longer. Then I asked him about the dreams. He revealed that the baby dream came back during the weekend when I had slept over. And that it was bugging him a lot. I reiterated to him what would happened if it did end up with that consequence. I would get an abortion and he would know--I would not keep it from him. Then I went into the exact details, how I would go to walgreen/cvs and get a test if my period was off. And that I would give the details of the appointment and even give him my location on the day of the appointment. Then we both reiterated that it was highly unlikely. It seemed to relieve him a bit. Then he stated that he had another a nagging feeling throughout the day, concerned that he was leading me on. I explained to him that he was not leading me on. He and I are both people pleasers. He didn't want to make me sad if he ended things. He'd rather make everyone happy if he can. I told him I knew that he didn't like me like that. If anything, I was leading myself on. If I ended up sad from this ending, then it was on me. I was the one who wanted to take the chance to see where this could go. I am also a people pleaser so I told to please tell me how he felt about all this. He stated again he was unsure but was willing to see where this could go. We ended the night back to the status quo of being friends testing out the waters but lesser physical intimacy.
Now this is the day after and I feel like I fked up. But then if he was so unsure, why did he invite me over to his apartment? And why was he inviting himself to hang out with me more? He also started texting me more and he started calling me in the weeks leading to today. I think I know the answer and that is that he was just looking for physical intimacy in someone since he spent 22 years without the experience of a relationship and that I'm just an opportunity. But he's also a people pleaser so I can't help but also think that he's trying to compensate for his lack of equal attraction to me by initiating more. But he says that he is attracted to me and likes me as a person. Just not sure if it was like that. He said he would like to stay friends. I think a part of the reason why he said that was to ease the guilt on his ego since he's a people's pleaser. Im just confused on where he stands. One moment, he seems interested. The next, he's all confused and unsure. I'm afraid that I'm just forcing myself to be blind and not see his actions as they are: uninterested.

Hey everyone -
Thank you in advance for any help / suggestions you might be able to offer. I’ve been struggling with some annoying symptoms the past few months and I’m hoping that someone might be able to provide some insight / reassurance.
So, basics: 31 y/o white male, exercise 7-10 hours a week (cycling primarily), 145 lbs, 5’9, I eat a balanced diet, lots of fruits, vegetables, limited red meat, lean protein, etc. Mediterranean diet essentially. No drinking, no smoking. I am generally rather healthy - I typically get one, maybe two, colds a year. I’m a teacher, so I’m exposed to quite a bit of germs / viruses, but I generally take care of myself enough to avoid most of it. I sleep probably about 7 hours a night on average - could definitely bump that up, but never less than 6 hours and typically 7.5+. I got the Pfizer vaccine back in 2021, booster in early 2022. Admittedly, I haven’t had a booster since, nor do I usually get a flu shot. I plan on rectifying both of those this year.
This year, I have just gotten absolutely decimated with sicknesses and it is really starting to wear on my mental health. It has kept me from exercising as much as I’d like, which, in turn, has made me more and more depressed and frustrated.
Rough timeline: Mid-December 2023: Mild cold which lasted for about 5 days. Usual stuff, congestion, sore throat, general malaise and stuffiness. Cleared pretty quickly, took 4 days off from exercise, biked on the 5th day and felt fine. Energy bounced back within a few days.
Late January 2024: Similar cold symptoms come on, I take 2 days off from exercise, thought I felt better, exercised on the 3rd and 4th day, probably overdid it and ended up relapsing pretty hard. Had to take another 6 days completely off, was able to exercise again on the 7th day but felt pretty weak. Took it easy for 3 days before I started feeling strong again.
Late February 2024: Went to Peru for a friend’s wedding - at the airport on the way home I started feeling chills all over and my stomach was just absolutely killing me. The flight home was miserable, as you could imagine. Went to urgent care, they prescribed some stuff for the stomach pain, which seemed to work. I only took 1 day off from exercise, resumed exercise the following day and actually felt completely normal strength / energy wise. Only strange lingering thing was that after this bout of whatever, I would frequently get goosebumps every time I changed clothes, regardless of how cold it really was. Felt fine otherwise, no chills, just weird goosebumps which would go away within a minute or so of changing.
Early April 2024: Came down with symptoms again - same as usual: sore throat, head cold / congestion, general malaise, low energy. Symptoms came on a Sunday night, felt pretty terrible Monday morning. I had an important cycling race that following Saturday, so I tried to recover for that. Slept a bunch, drank a bunch of water, DayQuil during the day which seemed to help. I tried going for easy rides twice that week - once on Tuesday, once on Thursday. Both times, I felt ok with regards to my breathing / congestion, but my muscles felt really weak. Legs just had no power. I felt relatively ok on Friday driving down to the race, felt absolutely terrible during the race on Satuday and ended up dropping out. Took Sunday completely off, took a COVID test to be safe, came back negative, starting riding again that next Monday and felt surprisingly ok - figured I was out of the woods. Rode that whole week, felt good, not great. That Sunday, I start feeling off again, symptoms come back on Monday. I take 2 days completely off, try riding again and I just have no energy whatsoever. Muscles feel so weak and achey. I take 4 more days completely off, start riding again next week and take it really, really easy to work my way back into it. I contact my doctor and the PA that works for him thinks it is allergies - he says to take a double-dose of antihistamines daily and that he thinks that is what is causing the symptoms + the fatigue. I try this for a week with little improvement to my energy levels / muscle strength. Still feeling congested at this point. I go back to him a week later, he orders some blood tests - everything comes back in the normal range. Only thing outside the normal range is WBC count which is at 3.9 where the low level of normal is 4.0, so pretty close to normal. Symptoms persist, so I go back, now he thinks it might be a sinus infection - he does inspect my sinuses and says they look inflamed. He prescribes antibiotics (amox) which I have taken for a week now. Congestion / sore throat is improved, but I still have absolutely no energy and my muscles, especially my calf muscles, are just constantly achey / sore / weak. He said if I don’t see improvement in another week, he’ll order more tests, but I’m getting really frustrated and disheartened at this point. I’m able to ride, but I just feel so weak when I’m doing it and I don’t think I’m actually benefiting at all from the training, although I do enjoy just being outside.
I have never gotten this sick, this often. I feel like I cannot do the things that make me happy, which, in turn, makes my mental health worse, which probably is also wearing on my physical health. What else could this possibly be?

Forst of all sorry for any english error or something, its not my fist language. Here we go. She's pretty, smart, cute, funny lets call her Emme, but also my bestfriend and she's also my other bestfriend ex lets call him John, when we are alone she makes me happy asf and she gives me attention but when we are with him ( her ex, thats also my bestfriend ) she can only look at him even after saying she doesnt love him. Im pretty sure that she just sees me as good friend and nothing else plus the fact that she says im one of her bestfriends but she doesnt give me attention like she does to others ehen we are not alone. She's into older guys that play basketball ( no idea why, and its not anout height cuz 2 of the guys she like were around my height 1,73 -1,76 meters tall, im from Europe yes). Everytime we are with John they flirt all the time like they are a couple, they ended on good terms but to make a quick resume they started dating after already being bestfriends, nothing official but it was going but even with they seeming like they have a lot in common they different and strong opinuons on basic things like religion, relationships and etc so he messed up and said he made a mistake starting dating her so they ended on " good terms " but they both got hurt bad, especially Emme, and i was there to support her, now after some time they are confortanle eith eachother again and o cant stand i get unconfortable near them and with their " flirting " and idk what to do. They are good persons and they both helped me alot on a hard part of my life and ik they just dont understand what they are doing. Talking to them is not an option cuz i dont eanna lose friendship but everyday it just gets worse. I know that at the end of the day its my decisions but i could really use some help. Thanks in advance if u were able to read all this. To clarify, we are from the same class and same age they just a few months older than me.

[ALWAYS OPEN]
You’ve been on the hunt for awhile but even now, You still can't believe you're going this far. Every part of it still sounds insane when you mull it over in the back of your mind. All this hassle and the search would probably be for nothing. You’ve come too far to just quit though… Even if you end up empty-handed and full of regrets, you have to at least see what happens. You didn't start down this path because you wanted to. You were compelled to because the idea that there’s someone out there who’s so miraculously skilled defies logic. You HAVE to see them for yourself…
Martial arts saved your life and you are in its debt. It’s a very esoteric debt though. Most people would say that you’d repay it by dedicating your life to the pursuit of contributing something but that’s easier said than done. Hundreds and even thousands of years ago, the martial world had yet to be excavated so thoroughly. There were secrets left to uncover and warriors spent their entire lives dedicated to the arts. In those days, they were likely to become masters and pioneers with knowledge worth passing down. Trying to become a master or an innovator now, is comparable to drawing blood from a stone.
Your final destination ironically ended up being the States. You’d complain about all the airfare and expenses you could have saved if you knew you’d end up right back home but without this adventure, you wouldn’t have grown as strong as you have. Every new destination gifted you something, even if it was just a mental refresh. More importantly, you wouldn’t have gotten the last piece of the puzzle that helped you lock it all in.
“You will find him in the most unassuming of places. He does not teach his way but occupies a world of prestigious men and women, some of whom are eager to learn.” – Typical "sage knowledge" nonsense. It took you a while to (hopefully) decode that using some of the other hints and extrapolated information. When it finally clicked, you knew the search was in its final stages.
That’s what led you here, a not-so-small town in a not-so-small city. The last place you’d expect to find a supposed master of this caliber. After an additional week of reconnaissance and digging around, You’ve tried just about every base of operations you can think of. MMA gyms, Karate dojos, you even checked all the gonzo Kung Fu spots that seemed surprisingly prevalent but there's nothing yet and you've only got one last place you could look based on the “prophecy” that was supposed to seal the deal and well, it's a long shot…
×××××××××××××××
If you're familiar with Murim/Wuxia as a genre, this idea should be easy to grasp. If not, anything kung-fu-oriented will give you the spark of what I'm going for. Anime is also a great resource but this definitely isn't going to reach the heights of anything too crazy!
The story I want to roll with is a mostly unknown martial artist prodigy (For the sake of Reddit TOS, the assumed age is at least 18) who is capable of those good old fashion Wuxia shenanigans, getting sought out and put into a combat situation by a slightly older or adult practitioner that may or may not have enough martial arts experience to stand her ground.
This would take place in a modern setting. The conveniences of technology have, to a degree, swallowed up the necessity for personal power, leaving those who are unnaturally gifted as reclusive or needing to blend in. The idea of potential greatness is a place no one would reasonably expect permeates this scenario.
There are other ways this could go too! Maybe your character doesn't have much experience and is instead more of an average person. Perhaps she’s the bookworm type that can easily connect all the dots to the mystery but has never so much as thrown a punch? Or an otaku who is obsessed with manhwa/shounen stories just like this and can sniff her way through the scavenger hunt based on determination and lots of luck. For the sake of the narrative, whoever she is, she's coming off a reasonably long search for me.
The tone of this can go from a simple light-hearted spar to something more intense. I've got vague ideas for both and I can accommodate anything in between! In a similar vein to that, I left the location of my character pretty vague so that you could incorporate anything that might interest you but I did have a place in mind if you're the type that adheres to a vision.
The excerpt at the top of this prompt is written with the implication that both parties are virtuous and that there isn't much ill intent. It is by no means set in stone, merely an idea you can latch onto for a quick starting point!
The idea of this is that your character is either skilled, intelligent, or determined enough to sniff mine out. Mine is inordinately powerful (by real-world standards) but perhaps suffers from either the usual pitfalls of being an adult or is a bit too ascetic for his own good. In any case, I want there to be some kind of emotional dynamic brewing that invalidates his strength.
There's a lot of work that needs to go into this behind closed doors so I won't clog up my initial post with any preconceived notions or assumptions. I prioritize partner input because I've been trying to find someone who is interested to no avail! -- If you are interested, hit me up and we'll gauge compatibility! Looks and length of this post aside, I'm not a particularly exacting partner. As long as you're literate and capable of enthusiasm, I'm very happy to make your acquaintance! Ideally, we'll work off-site but if you're most comfortable here, we can make it work!

I've found that almost EVERY time I get a user who works for a church, they are incredibly rude, idiotic people who treat customer service like absolute trash. They are horrible. The worst insults I've gotten at this job have been from people who work at churches or realtors. Anyway, here's the transcript of our conversation today.

(03:43:30 PM) me: Hello! Thanks so much for contacting WEBSITE Support. My name is BLANK and I will be very happy to help you. Please allow me a few moments to access your account.
(03:44:16 PM) ID10T: BLANK--I'm thinking about switching PROJECT platforms because I cannot stand every single frickin time I want to access & make changes to my PROJECT , I have to go through 2 factor identification.
(03:44:24 PM) ID10T: I'm getting sick of it!
(03:44:36 PM) ID10T: And then it says, skip for 2 weeks--nope that doesn't work either!!!!!
(03:44:55 PM) ID10T: Get someone to shut down that security measure on our account.
(03:45:15 PM) ID10T: If someone wants to hack out account, I'm o.k. with that. Let them.
(03:45:55 PM) me: We can't turn that off, but there may be some reason the login cookie is getting deleted on your machine. WEBSITE uses a login cookie that expires after 2 weeks. If you clear this cookie, you will be required to login the next time you visit WEBSITE. If you have any kind of browser extension or anti-virus that clears cookies on an active basis, that could be clearing the login cookie for WEBSITE and causing you to be logged out. I suggest checking into that. This could be a behavior of the browser itself, an addon/extension of the browser, anti-virus on your computer or even apps/processes being run on your machine by your business (if you are not on a personal device). Also are you running AVG? In most cases, that is the anti-virus which is causing issues with the login cookie.
(03:46:43 PM) ID10T: I do not have this problem with ANY OTHER PLATFORM except WEBSITE
(03:46:48 PM) ID10T: and it's super annoying
(03:46:55 PM) ID10T: I don't even know what AVG is
(03:47:11 PM) me: It is anti-virus software. Are you on a personal machine?
(03:47:17 PM) me: Or is it managed by your organization?
(03:47:19 PM) ID10T: Just have one of your IT guys go into our account & deactivate all this crap
(03:47:37 PM) ID10T: my machine is managed by my organization
(03:47:44 PM) me: That's not how it works I'm sorry. The login is maintained by a cookie which gets saved to the device. If it's deleted, the login is not maintained.
(03:47:51 PM) ID10T: Actually, no, I think you would classify it as personal
(03:48:16 PM) ID10T: They why do I not have this problem with any other platform. Sometimes it logs me out within minutes
(03:48:24 PM) ID10T: then I have to get another code all over again.
(03:48:33 PM) ID10T: Can you not appreciate how annoying this is????????????
(03:48:37 PM) me: I do
(03:48:45 PM) me: I understand it's frustrating and I am talking you through the solution.
(03:48:56 PM) ID10T: It is super annoying. Annoying enough that I'm looking at Constant Contact just to be free from your stupid security
(03:49:00 PM) me: Are you running any privacy extensions in your browser?
(03:49:17 PM) ID10T: I have no idea about privacy extentions in my brows
(03:49:26 PM) ID10T: I'm not a computer scientist
(03:49:36 PM) ID10T: I just want to work on my fricken campaign!!!
(03:50:25 PM) ID10T: Turn it off! Get your IT guys to turn it off on our account. We don't care
(03:50:47 PM) me: That isn't an option. Are you running any anti-virus on your computer?
(03:50:50 PM) ID10T: Am I the only person who's frustrated as hell with this annoying blip in your system?
(03:51:07 PM) me: No, it has come up before which is why I know what causes the issue. I know it is frustrating. I am trying to help you.
(03:51:28 PM) ID10T: I have no idea if I have anti-virus software on my machine.
(03:51:51 PM) me: Are you working for a company that has IT available that could find out?
(03:52:16 PM) ID10T: Yes, but then I have to pay him $90/hour. Are you going to give me 6 months free to get this problem resolved?
(03:52:50 PM) ID10T: That feels like a good solution. Give me 6 months or even a year for free and you won't hear from me again. I'll pay to get your platform fixed!!!
(03:53:25 PM) ID10T: You know, it used work perfectly fine. We have been long, long customers of yours. And then, no...someone had to "FIX" the platform & now it sucks!
(03:54:44 PM) me: This is not an appropriate reason to provide credit, I'm sorry. Let's try this. Can you go to the profile icon in your account, click it, and at the bottom, it says Cookie Preferences. Click that and make sure all cookies are enabled. Let me know when that is complete.
(03:54:47 PM) ID10T: Sometimes i have to enter a code like 4 or 5 times a day
(03:55:24 PM) ID10T: well, it's stuck behind this chat window...
(03:55:35 PM) me: You can open WEBSITE in a new tab
(03:55:37 PM) ID10T: I'm not able to move the chat window? or am I
(03:56:52 PM) ID10T: I'm trying to find cookie preferences
(03:56:57 PM) ID10T: it's not jumping out at me...
(03:57:18 PM) me: It's at the bottom, here is a screenshot: [image]
(03:58:45 PM) ID10T: Essential Website Cookies Always Active
(03:58:53 PM) me: All of them are enabled?
(03:59:32 PM) me: Especially we want Performance and Functionality Cookies enabled
(03:59:36 PM) me: The little slider should be green
(03:59:50 PM) ID10T: Performance and Functionality Cookies I had to hit the slider on this one
(04:00:03 PM) ID10T: same with analytics & customization
(04:00:08 PM) me: Ok they were off?
(04:00:18 PM) ID10T: yes
(04:00:27 PM) ID10T: 2 of the were off... analytics & performance
(04:00:28 PM) me: The performance one is most important. That should fix it.
(04:00:49 PM) me: It MAY require you to verify one more time, but it should work for 2 weeks after that.
(04:01:16 PM) ID10T: OK BLANK. I guess I can't test it while I'm logged in here but I hopeyou are right.
(04:01:26 PM) me: I hope you have a wonderful day :)
(04:01:31 PM) ID10T: You too!
(04:01:32 PM) me: Thanks for contacting WEBSITE support. Have a great day.

They had cookies disabled.
Isn't it amazing how childish boomers are? Why do they think that being rude is the best option? They actively make the world worse with everything they do.

Him (18M) and I (19F) have been talking for a while, around 7 months I think. We met on a dating sight, but it started off pretty chill — actually the first couple months we didn’t really flirt, we immediately got each others socials and were just friends for a while even to the point where we were talking about other people we were seeing. If I’m honest, it didn’t take long for me to be head over heels for this dude. He’s basically the male version of me, and we understand everything each other goes through. We spoke a lot around 5 months ago, like practically all day sometimes and eventually I decided I wanted to meet him (we live pretty far so it was a long way to get there). So we met up and honestly it went perfect. We held hands and kissed just before I returned back home, I really thought something would come from this and it did for the first couple days, but (this is honestly my fault) I got scared and started to act like nothing happened, I began to talk about dating sights again as if we hadn’t even held hands. I still liked him A LOT but I guess I didn’t really know what to do. We’d always discussed how we weren’t into the whole love bombing thing, pet names and stuff kind of grossed us out and we always wanted a relationship to be more chill so I was unsure how to go about it and it freaked me out. I’d never really had a proper relationship before, my last one was solely online due to distance and it left me with a lot of hurt which I’m only just healing from so all of this was new to me. Anyways, I think he noticed that I was kind of friendzoning him and backed off a bit.
Since then I’ve been trying to replenish what I broke, I’ve done practically everything to try and get things to be like before. We still talk, but hardly as frequently and he never tells me anything anymore. One of my advances did work for a while, but then he stopped replying for a couple weeks and now it’s back to stage one. I’ve asked if he wants to meet again, it’s his birthday soon and I got him a couple gifts which I’ve put a lot of thought into. But I really don’t know if this’ll work. I know I’m still young and maybe I do just need to let go but I really like this guy — I’d even go so far as to say I love him. So what should I do? I’m too scared to communicate how I feel but I really regret messing things up, I worry I won’t find someone like him again if I let go. (Apologies if the writing isn’t great, I don’t really want to read it back😅)

Abstract

AI is the most rapidly transformative technology ever developed. Consciousness is what gives life meaning. How should we think about the intersection? A large part of humanity’s future may involve figuring this out. But there are three questions that are actually quite pressing, and we may want to push for answers on:
1. What is the default fate of the universe if the singularity happens and breakthroughs in consciousness research don’t?
2. What interesting qualia-related capacities does humanity have that synthetic superintelligences might not get by default?
3. What should CEOs of leading AI companies know about consciousness?
This article is a safari through various ideas and what they imply about these questions.
Seeds of Science is a scientific journal publishing speculative or non-traditional research articles. Peer review is conducted through community-based voting and commenting by a diverse network of reviewers (or "gardeners" as we call them). Comments that critique or extend the article (the "seed of science") in a useful manner are published in the final document following the main text.
We have just sent out a manuscript for review, "A Paradigm for AI consciousness", that may be of interest to some in the ControlProblem community so I wanted to see if anyone would be interested in joining us as a gardener and providing feedback on the article. As noted above, this is an opportunity to have your comment recorded in the scientific literature (comments can be made with real name or pseudonym).
It is free to join as a gardener and anyone is welcome (we currently have gardeners from all levels of academia and outside of it). Participation is entirely voluntary - we send you submitted articles and you can choose to vote/comment or abstain without notification (so no worries if you don't plan on reviewing very often but just want to take a look here and there at the articles people are submitting).
To register, you can fill out this google form. From there, it's pretty self-explanatory - I will add you to the mailing list and send you an email that includes the manuscript, our publication criteria, and a simple review form for recording votes/comments. If you would like to just take a look at this article without being added to the mailing list, then just reach out (info@theseedsofscience.org) and say so.
Happy to answer any questions about the journal through email or in the comments below.