Hi everyone,
I recently interviewed for a job that I was really excited about and well-prepared for, but unfortunately, I didn't get the position. It really hurts but I know I need to hold my head up high and move forward. The interviewers provided me with detailed feedback on my performance, and I'm looking for advice on how to improve for future interviews. (I'm UK based)
Here's a summary of the feedback:

1. They praised my interpersonal skills, confidence, and ability to fit into their work culture.
2. They said I did a great job with the presentation, but suggested I strike a more neutral tone (This is fair. I think my passion for the role ended up seeping into the task they gave me).
3. They wanted more specific examples of my personal impact and delivery in previous roles, noting that I sometimes repeated similar examples without tailoring them to the specific questions asked.
4. Despite not scoring high enough for an offer, the interviewer expressed confidence in my potential and indicated that I was a strong candidate overall.

I'm grateful for the feedback and want to use it to grow and improve. Specifically, I'm looking for advice on:

• Tips for structuring interview responses to provide specific, diverse examples of my experience and impact. How to improve STAR technique? and really really practice it.
• Strategies for refining my interview technique and showcasing my strengths.
• Ways to stay motivated and positive during the job search process.

If anyone has faced similar challenges or has insights to share, I would greatly appreciate your guidance. Do you have any tips, books, advice, or resources?
Thank you in advance for your help!
TL;DR: Got detailed feedback after a job rejection, seeking advice on getting over rejection, structuring impactful responses, and refining my interview technique.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jack. O Allan. I am an EFL tutor with twelve years of experience in the academic field. I have been assisting students in delivering assignments on time, ensuring the highest grades possible, and maintaining a track record while observing strict adherence to instructions and formatting guidelines.
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Hiring me is very simple and friendly. The step-by-step procedure is as follows:
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Cut a deal with me ($15 per APA page)
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Pay after reviewing and ensuring it meets your standards and expectations.
Close the deal with a thank-you note and contact me again whenever you need more help : )
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Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jack. O Allan. I am an EFL tutor with twelve years of experience in the academic field. I have been assisting students in delivering assignments on time, ensuring the highest grades possible, and maintaining a track record while observing strict adherence to instructions and formatting guidelines.
In my line of work, I have collaborated with notable writing and assistance service providers such as Uvocorp, Writerbay, CourseHero, 4Writers, Chegg, Upwork, and Academia-Research, and, therefore, I confidently guarantee the quality of my work. Additionally, I help scholars check their projects through Copyscape and Turnitin, and to further ensure the authenticity of my work, every submission I make comes with a Plagiarism Report.
Hiring me is very simple and friendly. The step-by-step procedure is as follows:
Please send me an email at writers4hiretoday@gmail.com
Cut a deal with me ($15 per APA page)
Please send all the instructions and the deadline to my email.
Please sit back and relax as I do the job and deliver
Please review my work (Top-notch)
Pay after reviewing and ensuring it meets your standards and expectations.
Close the deal with a thank-you note and contact me again whenever you need more help : )
Feel free to contact me regarding academic papers such as essays, discussions, assignments, and homework. I also take over full classes and help with timed exams and quizzes.
I promise full confidentiality in all projects I undertake. My variable rates start at $15 per page. The price is the best. Trust me; this is the most customer-friendly service in the market because writing companies will charge you thrice the amount. My statement is evidence-based.
You may also want to follow my team and I.
Thank you for your time.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jack. O Allan. I am an EFL tutor with twelve years of experience in the academic field. I have been assisting students in delivering assignments on time, ensuring the highest grades possible, and maintaining a track record while observing strict adherence to instructions and formatting guidelines.
In my line of work, I have collaborated with notable writing and assistance service providers such as Uvocorp, Writerbay, CourseHero, 4Writers, Chegg, Upwork, and Academia-Research, and, therefore, I confidently guarantee the quality of my work. Additionally, I help scholars check their projects through Copyscape and Turnitin, and to further ensure the authenticity of my work, every submission I make comes with a Plagiarism Report.
Hiring me is very simple and friendly. The step-by-step procedure is as follows:
Please send me an email at writers4hiretoday@gmail.com
Cut a deal with me ($15 per APA page)
Please send all the instructions and the deadline to my email.
Please sit back and relax as I do the job and deliver
Please review my work (Top-notch)
Pay after reviewing and ensuring it meets your standards and expectations.
Close the deal with a thank-you note and contact me again whenever you need more help : )
Feel free to contact me regarding academic papers such as essays, discussions, assignments, and homework. I also take over full classes and help with timed exams and quizzes.
I promise full confidentiality in all projects I undertake. My variable rates start at $15 per page. The price is the best. Trust me; this is the most customer-friendly service in the market because writing companies will charge you thrice the amount. My statement is evidence-based.
You may also want to follow my team and I.
Thank you for your time.

Hi everyone,
I recently interviewed for a job that I was really excited about and well-prepared for, but unfortunately, I didn't get the position. It really hurts but I know I need to hold my head up high and move forward. The interviewers provided me with detailed feedback on my performance, and I'm looking for advice on how to improve for future interviews.
Here's a summary of the feedback:

1. They praised my interpersonal skills, confidence, and ability to fit into their work culture.
2. They said I did a great job with the presentation, but suggested I strike a more neutral tone (This is fair. I think my passion for the role ended up seeping into the task they gave me).
3. They wanted more specific examples of my personal impact and delivery in previous roles, noting that I sometimes repeated similar examples without tailoring them to the specific questions asked.
4. Despite not scoring high enough for an offer, the interviewer expressed confidence in my potential and indicated that I was a strong candidate overall.

I'm grateful for the feedback and want to use it to grow and improve. Specifically, I'm looking for advice on:

• Tips for structuring interview responses to provide specific, diverse examples of my experience and impact. How to improve STAR technique? and really really practice it.
• Strategies for refining my interview technique and showcasing my strengths.
• Ways to stay motivated and positive during the job search process.

If anyone has faced similar challenges or has insights to share, I would greatly appreciate your guidance. Do you have any tips, books, advice, or resources?
Thank you in advance for your help!
TL;DR: Got detailed feedback after a job rejection, seeking advice on getting over rejection, structuring impactful responses, and refining my interview technique.

My mom has done this my entire life. I would do x and then she would get angry and sulk all day. She would give me the silent treatment or she would be passive- aggressive with me. She's doing it again and I'm not sure why. Here's how it started:
My parents and I went to my brother's graduation this weekend at an elite university. My mom and I sat next to each other during the graduation while my dad and my bro's boyfriend took photos and bonded over photography gear. My mom patted my back, and said "I'm proud of the both of you. Your father and I never thought we could raise two lawyers. Today is your day too." I responded, "Thanks mom, but today is my brother's day, not mine." I love my brother and I was careful to make sure my bro's day doesn't get ruined. He said he wanted to be taller than me in photos so I wore flats instead of heels.
Then my mom showed me the photos she took of my graduation and the likes and comments she received after she posted on Facebook. I noticed that she didn't use my name, only my initials. I'm a trans woman and my initials stayed the same. I told her, "That's not my name." During the reception, my parents took some food, but they kept chewing and talking with their mouths open, so I very discreetly nudged them to refrain from doing so. They seemed to have taken it okay. My brother wanted to introduce our parents to his professors, but my parents were shy, and possibly insecure about their 8th grade education. I still tried to nudge them over to meet them because I knew it meant a lot to my brother. My parents ended up not meeting his professors.
During dinner prep that night at my bro's apartment, my mom tasked me with washing the gailan (vegetables). Before I even started, my mom came over and said briskly, "That's not how you wash vegetables!" I responded, "Okay, you do it then." Then she yells at me, "I've tolerated you long enough!" I was taken aback by her sheer anger. I waited a bit and washed the vegetables my own way, upset that my mom couldn't trust me to wash vegetables. I cooked the vegetables myself. When my mom tried it, she forced out a "these are quite good." Of course it's good, I taught her the current method she uses to cook gailan. Throughout the weekend, my dad and brother commented on how mean she sounded. I called my partner holding back tears. I feel like I was unwanted, since I was only tolerated. It's odd because I try to move out and my mom keeps pressuring me to remain living with her.
That Sunday, I told my mom "Happy Mother's Day." She just looked away and said "thanks." When my brother woke up, he took the flowers that I bought for his graduation to my mom and said "Happy Mother's Day." She laughed and smiled.
When we got home, she laughed and said "Oh, I forgot my medications, that's why I was in such a bad mood." I figured thing were fine. I'm housesitting this week so I got to be away from my parents, but I went home to pick something up last night and she remained upset. She just sulked and directed her anger at me. I ask her what's wrong. She said "You always look down on me, like I'm not your mom. Look how you treated me all weekend!" I ask her if it was because of the gailan issue. She said she was angry at me before then. I asked her if it was because I told her not to open her mouth while she's chewing. She said it wasn't.
At that point, I was tired and just went off on her. "I don't know why you're angry. We have a communication problem in this family. No one talks about their issues. If you don't tell me your problems, it's only your problem, not mine. If you can tell me what your problems are, then maybe I can help. Honestly, I think you just like being angry. It's as if you're afraid that if you're not angry, you don't know how to be a person. I want you to think about what I said. I'm not going to think about why you're angry." (Ironically, I am wondering, but she doesn't need to know that.)
Then I left. My dad came outside with me and said "don't worry, I'll work on her."
So, I cried to my partner. It's so ridiculous, all my life I feel like I'm dealing with this big scary authority figure. But I'm dealing with someone who would tell an 8 year old daughter that she would throw her out in the street because her grades weren't great. I'm dealing with someone who wouldn't listen to her attorney daughter's legal advice, which is simply, "As a spectator, don't say anything in the courtroom." (She got thrown out of the courtroom because she kept interrupting.) I'm dealing with someone who kept discouraging their daughter from practicing law because "I'm too weak" and someone who said "shame on you" when I said I aspired to become a judge.
I'm just so damn tired. I already gave up my inheritance. I don't want it anymore. Besides, I don't care about its material value. I only see it as a symbol of their love. Anyways, I decided I'm going to move out, no matter what she says.

Trial Day 12
Motions
There was a motions hearing during the morning session about Frank Dileo's emails and Conrad Murray's police interview.
The Jacksons team are trying to get Frank Dileo's emails. Jacksons believe there may be discussions between DiLeo and AEG about MJ & his health. David Regoli, a lawyer for Mrs. Dileo (Frank passed in 2011), said Mrs. DiLeo asked him to review the subpoena by Katherine Jackson's attorney, go through the emails & produce anything relevant to the parties.
Jackson's attorneys want to make sure AEG turned over all the email conversations AEG had with everyone about Michael. If it's proven they didn't, it could be a problem for AEG's attorney. Everyone is on standby.
Judge ruled that Murray's June 27 LAPD interview is considered hearsay and it can't be presented to the jury. Judge said Murray's statement might be admissible if the former doctor testified in court.
Julie Hollander Testimony
Jackson Direct
In the afternoon session Julie Hollander, AEG's VP of Controller and Event Operation, testified. She has been called as an adverse witness by Jacksons
'Adverse witness' is sometimes referred to as a hostile witness - a witness who identifies with the opposing party because of a relationship or a common interest in the outcome of the litigation
First part of her testimony was explaining who hired her (Timm Wooley) and what a CEO/CFO does. She works for AEG Live, under AEG
Hollander said that in 2009 Wooley was more than just a tour accountant. Wooley came back to work on the This Is It tour. Hollander says she reports directly to the CFO.
Hollander said she was responsible for overseeing 'the books' (accounting term) for anything related to the project This Is It.

"I'm responsible for making sure the books are maintained for the tours," Hollander described.

"The books" is an electronic accounting system.
Hollander was responsible for the financial/accounting for the This Is It tour. She estimated she worked on about 20 tours --several concerts. Hollander said she didn't prepare the budgets for the tour, Wooley did. Hollander was responsible for overseeing the books and the general ledger of all transactions related to This Is It but said it was AEG executive Timm Woolley who actually created and managed the budget and made sure people got paid
She reported the budget primarily to Paul Gongaware. Hollander said budget was the costs expected to incur in the tour with developing the shows, taking show on the road, getting gear to London. Other budgeted costs included traveling for people involved, housing for some people involved and insurance
Hollander said the company had a policy manual saying payment would be predicated upon the execution of the contract.

"We had situations where contracts were signed later," Hollander said.

She said, however, that there were situations where contracts were signed after Jackson's death

"Due to the abrupt end of the tour the contracts were being negotiated."

​

Hollander: "My role was to execute payments pursuant to executed contracts."
Hollander: "My understating was that Dr. Murray was part of the budget, is listed on the budget for the tour at the request of the artist."

She agreed she saw Dr. Murray's contract, but says it was un-executed, since it was not signed by all parties. Hollander called the doctor's contract with AEG "a draft" because, although it was signed by Murray, neither Jackson nor AEG had signed it. Hollander said that if all the terms of the contract were met and remained consistent, Dr. Murray would be paid retroactively from 5/1/09
​

Panish: "You don't know whether Dr. Murray was performing services for MJ?"
Hollander: "I don't know, I can't say for sure, not me, personally"

​

"Timm Wooley advised me that Dr. Murray was being engaged at the request of the artist," Hollander testified and added that the budgets were ultimately approved by Gongaware.

Hollander testified that Murray's salary of $150,000 each for the months of May and June that year was included in a budget approved by executive Paul Gongaware.

"If Michael Jackson didn't die and AEG signed, then AEG would owe the money, right?", Brian Panish, the Jackson family's attorney, asked.
"If all parties signed it would have been a fully executed contract, yes, and I would have to, if the costs were approved.It would be no basis for me to say I'm not going to pay that", Hollander said.
Hollander: "There was $300,000 listed on the budget for Dr. Murray, yes. That budget was approved by Mr. Gongaware"
Panish: "For London there was more than 1 million dollars in the budget to pay Dr. Murray, right?"
Hollander:"I don't recall a figure of $1Million"

Brian Panish shows Hollander a large binder with 80 documents she reviewed to refresh her recollection

Panish: "AEG advanced money to Michael Jackson, is that right?"
Hollander: "Yes, it was an advance, recoupable in some capacity"

Panish showed an email from 5/18/09 from Hollander to Wooley:

"We are in the process of quickly pulling together an urgent re-forecast for Mr. Anschutz and need the latest and greatest on Michael. I recall that you were working on an update. Is it ready for consumption? I need something by tomorrow at the latest. Once the numbers are in, I need direction from you with respect to the split between UK and US"

On May 18, 2009, Hollander wrote an email to several executives asking for information that would help give AEG owner Philip Anschutz an idea of the upcoming tour profits.

Panish asked Hollander, "They weren't asking you how the rehearsals were going, were they?"
"No", Hollander answered
Panish : "They wanted to know how much money would be made for the U.S. and how much money would be made for the U.K., correct?"
Hollander : "Yes"
Panish: "Do you know if AEG ever performed a background check on Dr. Murray?"
Hollander: "I'm not aware of anything in that regard"

Hollander said she did not know who negotiated the compensation for Dr. Murray. He was the only doctor budgeted for the tour.

Hollander: "I talked to Mr. Wooley about the inclusion of Dr. Murray in the budget. I talked to Mr. Trell (in-house attorney) as to the conditions he'd be paid"

Panish showed the jury the budget from 5/16/09 for 27 shows: Management Medical --300,000; 450,000; 750,000 Total: $1.5 Million to pay Dr. Murray
Hollander verified a document created May 16, 2009, that listed dozens of changes to the This Is It budget. Murray was listed as item #29.

"Michael wishes to have a permanent physician available on call throughout the pre-tour period on operational period', the document said.

There are 2 months at $150,000 newly budgeted.
On April 30, 2009, Panish showed a document with $300,000 budgeted for management medical.
Dr. Emery Brown , Propofol expert from Harvard, is announced as the next witness to be called.
Court Transcript

My 2-year-old male cat passed away very suddenly on Saturday night. He was at the vet four weeks ago for a dental clean and received a clean bill of health. His medical record from that day notes that his lungs and heart sounded normal.
We saw no symptoms that would have indicated he was ill. After the dental clean, he stopped chasing his sister, which we even discussed at the follow-up call from a vet nurse, but we all agreed he likely felt better and that's why.
On Saturday night at around 9.30pm, we heard him cry out and I could see he was struggling to breathe. We dropped everything and were out the door with him in a carrier within 3 minutes. We made it to the emergency vet before he passed but unfortunately no one could save him. I watched him drown to death and there was nothing I could do besides cry and tell my partner to drive faster.
Given how young he was, we asked for a necropsy, which found that he had HCM and likely died from a pulmonary thromboembolism. The cause is likely genetic. He was a rescue so we never suspected he was at risk. We are now getting his sister from the same litter tested. We also contacted the rescue so that they can contact his littermates' families.
I wanted to post here not to opine about his death but to tell you how silent this disease is and to please genetically test your children. I wish I had done it.
I also want to tell you how wonderful he was. He was such a lovely little man and so insanely handsome. He had a very generous nature and he was everyone's friend. His favorite toy was my hairtie (supervised of course) and he loved getting little snacks of cheese. He greeted me when I came home and for the last month together, he woke me every night at 4am just to put his forehead against mine and purr so we can fall asleep together. Now that he is gone, there is such a hole in all our lives. We all died on Saturday night.
I am very angry that I didn't see any signs of his illness and I wish I could have given him more time and, most of all, a better death. What made it easier to cope was recognising what a gift he was. We were truly so lucky to have him. He would want me to remember how he was and what a difference he made. And I want to tell you that he really did and I will never forget him. His life was too short and it's not fair but at least I got to be part of it. Thank you for that, little man. I hope I see you again.

For the past year I started having pain all the time in my upper abdomen after I ate, right under my rib cage and no matter what I did I couldn’t figure out what was causing it, so I went and saw a gastro doc, he did some tests and my stool sample showed my pancreas isn’t making enough enzymes, I go in for my second appointment to discuss the results and he put me on creon, I came back a week later because he wanted to see if it worked and yes somewhat was helping but not 100%. He told me to play with the dosing depending on what I eat.. However when I asked him what would be causing my pancreas to stop making enzymes? His response was,”sometimes the pancreas just stops making enzymes”. This response seriously frustrated me. I’m still struggling and in pain and the creon only works sometimes and I feel like I was just handed off this medication and no further digging is being done. I’m having other health issues as well that may or may not be related. I just don’t know what to do, is the response he gave true? I honestly think that can’t be true, there has to be a reason the pancreas isn’t working. I got a new appointment with a different GI doc but it’s not for another three weeks. I struggle with speaking up to doctors and advocating for myself. Any suggestions or insights would be greatly appreciated. And if you need more info just let me know I’ll do my best to answer. Thanks

Hello, I would like to describe my current health issue to you, including my hypotheses about what might be causing it. I would like to hear your opinions on what it might be and how I should proceed. Keep in mind that I am already undergoing medical consultations and will have more, but so far, I have not reached a conclusion, so I would like as many opinions as possible.
If you need more information, feel free to ask.
For about two years, I have been experiencing facial pain and throat inflammation. I have never had these issues before. They started occurring after I had COVID-19, and I'm not sure if this is coincidental or a consequence of the virus. Initially, these pains were infrequent and mild, but in the past few months, they have become much more frequent and intense, significantly affecting my productivity, energy, and concentration. The pain is mostly noticeable upon waking, but sometimes it persists throughout the day. When the pain is less intense, it almost completely disappears after breakfast or lunch. However, when it is more severe, it doesn't go away at all, forcing me to rest in bed. Sometimes, even taking Tylenol does not relieve the pain.
The facial pain is located under my cheekbones, along my jaw, behind my eyes, and when it's very intense, at the center of my head just above my nose. The pain is continuous on both sides of my face and does not worsen with touch.
As for my throat, it feels like there's a constant lump at the lower part, as if it were scratched. It hurts continuously, not just when I swallow.
These pains occur year-round, regardless of the season.
Regarding medical checks and existing conditions, here are the details:

• I’ve had an eye exam, and there has been no deterioration beyond my existing myopia and astigmatism.
  
• I’ve been checked and do not have sinusitis.
  
• X-rays have shown no issues with my cervical spine.
  
• I likely clench my teeth at night and should be using a mouthguard.
  
• I need to have my wisdom teeth removed (I’ve only had one extracted so far) because they have not fully emerged and are pushing against the other teeth.
  
• I am allergic to dust mites.
  
• I have L4-S1 discopathy.
  
• Blood tests for thyroid issues showed no problems.
  
• I am currently on a treatment of Nicetile 500mg (L-acetylcarnitine HCl) under the assumption it might address nerve inflammation post-COVID, but there have been no changes after 15 days.
  

These issues also cause poor sleep quality. Despite sleeping for 7-8 hours, I wake up feeling tired and as if I need more rest, even if I did not exert myself physically or mentally the previous day.
From the beginning of May onwards, I experienced two weeks where every day I had a sore throat, headaches, and excessive tiredness, despite having taken antihistamines and cortisone spray for more than 20 days in April. I had a flu in early May and felt very ill; all symptoms (sore throat, cold, headache) were amplified and kept me in bed for several days, as if I had COVID. Even after the flu passed, I continued to experience throat lumps and headaches, along with excessive tiredness that rest did not alleviate.
I maintain a fairly balanced diet and engage in regular physical activity. I am physically at a normal weight.
My hypotheses:

• Depression/anxiety
  
• Sleep disorders such as sleep apnea, insomnia, or hypersomnia
  
• Chronic fatigue syndrome
  
• Long COVID
  
• Symptoms of a dust mite allergy
  
• Dental malocclusion and teeth grinding at night
  

Thank you to anyone who provides suggestions.

APPE Inquiry
Hey guys! I was recently placed at a major industry company for APPEs, but my departments are CSA, LVA, and IH. I wanted to make sure i’m correct with assuming these stand for Clinical Supplies Assurance, Laboratory Validation and Analysis, and Industry Hygiene.
Along with this, I was hoping for some help with a few more questions.

1. I’m unclear on how these departments will help me stand out as a candidate for medical affairs fellowships, how can I make the most out of this rotation?
   
2. It is virtual, but I was hoping to visit campus in person to foster connections, go above and beyond, and see the site. How do I approach this with my preceptor?
   

Any other suggestions of how to best prepare for this rotation in order to stand out, and how these functional areas can tie into medical affairs during my fellowship interviews are appreciated.
(originally posted in pharmaindustry but wanted to post here as well for further reach).
Thank you!!

Sorry for the formatting, I'm on mobile. Hi there, I am in desperate need of assistance, I wound up in a domino situation starting last August after a very nasty break up in a financially abusive relationship. I went and had to find a new job in the process and due to the current market, it ended up taking a while and I ended up needing to take out loans to cover rent and food and bills in between jobs. And unfortunately, it's dominoed into having to apply for more and more loans with credit being dragged down in the process having to apply to worse and worse payday and personal loans with terrible rates. And now, I can't find any system or program that will allow me to apply for debt consolidation because it isn't "credit card debt". Now I'm in a position that if I genuinely miss a single day of work I will not have anything for these bills, one 800$ paycheck is only going to cover the payments and leave me nothing for bills/rent/food at all. I don't know what to do anymore, I am so scared. Please, if any of you have experienced this before, please, please help. Thank you.

Me and my ex broke up and I wrote letter to get thoughts off my mind that I wanna post to her household (see below)
Me and my ex broke up after 3 years about 3 weeks ago, she's started spending time with another man but I've wanted to get some stuff off my chest and to her family, I've written 2 separate letters one specifically for her and one for the family which I'm going to post after both of our exam periods are over but I'm second guessing myself, we broke up because she got exam stress anxiety and said she couldn't handle a relationship RN but messaged me saying that she wouldn't get over me if she didn't move on and that I should see her as a C*nt because she's started spending time with another man, but I still feel for peace at heart I need to send these below, I never had it in me to introduce her properly to my side of the family because I was scared by their views but now that it's past that point ive realised I had nothing to lose.
Letter to her
Dear "name", I hope you have it in you to read one final letter from me. Are you doing doing better now without exam stress or anything? the first month after we broke up was unbearable for me, I think you found comfort through another guy which I'm happy for you I hope he's giving you what I regret not being able to give you and more. I finally understand how you felt whenever you said you couldn't stomach food and you couldn't sleep cause you'd have too much running through your head keeping you up crying, I didn't ever think I'd end up experiencing them things but I realise now how much I really loved you, I'm doing better now and I hope it's the same for you and I just wanted you to know that even though we are ex's if you ever hit a dark spot in your life and you need someone to talk to feel free to contact me whenever no matter when it is I'm more than happy to help you, we ain't strangers after all and I hope you don't view us that way we did have some amazing times together remember. I know my biggest mistake was always being too scared to show you to the world and ik that I realised too late, it's my biggest regret and in a heart beat I'd reverse it because you were worth spending my life with regardless of what other people thought. I told you countless times not to let others dictate our relationship without realising I was doing it myself aswell so I'm sorry. If you do read this letter through and don't just get rid of it without second thought i hope you're in a better place now, wherever you are mentally and whatever you're doing physically I hope you're happy without regrets because they eat you apart don't let the past stop you from enjoying your future. N x
Letter to parents
"Name and "name", Thank you for accepting me over the past few years and welcoming me into your home, I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for your daughter with my life and I truly regret it but ill live on with it knowing I should of taken that chance because I really wanted her forever, I'm really going to miss the company of you and the girls and I hope you can all forgive me for not giving your daughter what she wanted and needed, I've realised in the past month that I've never loved someone as much as her and it's been really hard seeing her carry on with life while it feels like mines stopped, if "name" ever ends up low and in need of someone to chat too please remind her that wherever and whenever she can talk to me, I'd hope I'm not treated like a stranger whenever it may be. if you read this letter know that I absolutely cherished and adored your daughter from the bottom of my heart, I hate that I can't see the girls grow up cause I absolutely loved seeing them all, talking and spending time with the whole family, I really will miss you all and I wish you all the best. N x

Hi all,
I am sitting here fuming and feeling scared, as an ex from five years ago has once again started bombing me with messages, and just now I got a message (after me ignoring the three messages he sent in the past weeks) that he is in my city and "why can't I just give him a chance and meet him for coffee?" (he lives in another country.) He knows where I live because we dated and he has been here. Now I am afraid to leave my house.
Backstory is that we dated for only 6 months long distance- as in, we only spent a total of 6 weekends together, and I ended it when he told me he slept with someone else (which may or may not be true- it's possible he said it to try to make me jealous. To me it didn't matter; I was done.) I was already about to end it at that point because I just didn't feel a strong connection with him. He, however, seems to have had a different experience and talks about the amazing connection we had.
When we broke up he kept saying I needed to give him another chance, and he screwed up, bla bla bla. I said I wasn't angry with him, and wished him the best, but that I didn't want to continue anything. I kept saying this as he continued to beg. He said he didn't think it was fair. I said I was sorry he felt that way, and sorry he was so sad, and that I held no animosity towards him, but did not want to continue on, even as a friend. I explained until I was blue in the face. He unfriended me on Facebook, which I didn't even notice, and then wrote me that he had done it in a rage, but regretted it, and could I please accept his friend request if he re-added me? I wrote back that it was probably better as is, and a clean break. I blocked him on Facebook.
Then he started messaging me on email and Instagram and even sent me a snail-mail letter. I was fed up with my "no" being disrespected at that point, and stopped indulging him with a response. This seemed to only increase his messages. I started to feel like he was a stalker. And he relentlessly messaged me, like 3-4 messages a month going on and on reminiscing about our first date, and the concert we went to, etc., saying we had such a deep connection (we really didn't! This is all in his mind!) I never answered anything. Total radio silence. But he wouldn't stop for FOUR YEARS. About a year ago, he stopped, and I thought he was finally gone.
Until two weeks ago. He wrote me a long email saying "You probably don't want to hear from me, but if you have a heart, you'll respond. I just want to be in your life, and I think we owe it to the connection we had to be friends..." bla bla bla. Same stuff, manipulating me with saying if I didn't respond I didn't have a heart. He interestingly wrote that he was now in a relationship, and SHE had encouraged him to reach out to me. I felt really angry, because I was very nice when we broke up, letting him have his process and tell me how he felt initially, but clearly and kindly saying I did not want to continue anything, including friendship, until after weeks I stopped responding. I am sure he told his new girlfriend that I never let him explain or just ghosted him, which is categorically untrue, with dozens of initial messages from me. He just cannot accept my NO and is trying to force a yes.
And now, today, he emailed me to say he is in my city and he needs to see me, and I owe him at least a coffee. This is over 5 years after our very brief relationship, and I am really concerned about the escalation to him coming here (he lives 4 hours away, across the border in another country.) I feel like I am a hostage in my own home because I am too afraid to leave, as I know he is probably in my neighborhood, waiting somewhere. Thankfully I live in a building which is set back off the street and has a locked front entrance, though I worry someone will let him in when they leave.
I do not need this shit in my life. I do not want this drama (he always loved drama and tried to stir it up, which is part of why I ended it. I am allergic to drama at this point in my life.) I wish I had a partner to tell him to F off, but it really annoys me that my own NO as a woman is not enough for him. I do not want to be looking over my shoulder forever and dealing with this obsessive guy I dated briefly half a decade ago. What do I do? I know not engaging with him is the usual advice, but this has not worked, as I have completely ignored him for many years, and that didn't stop him. I'm fuming and scared this will escalate even further, now that he has literally traveled to my city and is able to come to my home. I feel unsafe.
HALP!

Hey guys thanks for all moral support strength you gave to a stranger I didn’t give up after 6 months got a job in infrastructure ( datacenter - network- sysops) my job laid me off as PE took over and started culling .
I got this gig via LinkedIn I pushed the recruiter to put my resume , although it’s contract it’s still $$ . Second offer came via someone who knows me that too via contacts so sitting on two offers
You guys will get it don’t worry * keep learning new tech constantly * certification helped me boast in the interview Aws-saa * difficult time for H1 folks but jobs are moving to India/mexico / Philippines / any cheap even Latin America * if you find a good boss hold on him even if you get fired it’s not his fault -* make good relations with sales vendors who knows they might save your butt

when i was younger my family was happy, i guess. I was adopted by my grandparents officially when i was younger and i had been living with them my entire life. I grew up with sensory disorder and ADHD. My real mother wasn't really in my life until about 4 years ago. I never knew my real dad and i have never met him but i always knew my real mom. She used to live with me and my grandparents who i call 'mom and dad' because they took care of me most of my life. She always lived outside in an apartment my dad made for her. She then moved away. She moved a lot and never was really in my life completely. By the time I was adopted by my grandparents she was legally my sibling. She always was having boyfriends and brought some of them over for family holidays. I was bullied growing up since I was in first grade for no reason i knew about. All i knew was i was the school freak. When i was little i hardly ate much as well but i was still called 'fat'. Whenever i sung i was laughed at. I was actually good at singing and i loved to sing when I was little as well as dance. My legally sister (aka real mother) tells me now and days i was the bully growing up and i was sexual as a little kid when i wasn't. growing up i also had anger issues and nobody knew why. My mom (aka grandmother who adopted me) told me it because i was mad at my sister. my mental health started going downhill quickly when i was about starting middle the next year. i was getting bullied a lot more and my 'friend' was mean to me for no reason at all.i was at a christian private school at that time. I got blamed for put stick notes on other sticky notes in a prize container when i didn't. i was friends with everyone in that class. only one of them believed me. but when the others were told that i didnt do it they were acting sorry. one my best friend's at that time little brother had a crush on me. when i went to her house to hang out her brother was acting like a perve a little bit and was asking sexual stuff.i never liked school at all because the city and town i lived in didnt do crap when i was bullied and the principles were told. And around this time my sister came to live in the town i live right now.she gotten married. But she was toxic to everyone. Her husband's friends lived with them as roommates and my sister was abusive to them. when she was babysitting me during that time she would stab one of them in the arm with a medicine syringe you take medicine from.this kept going till that roommate left and then the next one was gone. my sister's husband had passed away when i was in middle school starting the first year of it. my sister was then toxic to me a lot. and since she was my real mom at one point i called her 'mom' all the time till she was toxic to me.she also always told me she couldnt have children. apparently, there was another before me and it was a miscarriage. i will mention this, my sister is known in my family to be a liar about everything from getting gifts for us, receiving it, not stealing, and most of the time children. About every 2 years she claims to be 'pregnant' with a kid but apparently, they all end up dying after they are born or are miscarriages. i was the only kid she had ever.and plus she always blamed me for stealing her stuff even her gun and hiding it under my bed at my mom's when i cant even put a phone under there cause the bed is really low to the ground. now onto my dad (my grandpa who adopted me with my grandma).me and my dad were really close when i was growing up.i was his little princess. That stopped happening after i came out as bisexual and genderfluid 4 years ago. And let me tell you my dad was born in the 50's so he grew up being raciest and homophobic. I was the only child he raised as his own. my sister was his stepdaughter and during that time her real dad never let my dad adopt her as his own.i kept telling my dad about things i liked that we loved together growing up. my dad was toxic to me in my middle school years up until now. He would verbally abuse me and threaten me. he even hit me before in front of my mom and she told the police that he never did. The police were called a lot cause of my anger and yelling. The police where i live never believe the kids about anything saying they dont have any rights like to clothes, a bed, sometimes to speak, to things they buy with their own money, and one even told me i didn't have a right to my own body.i was being bullied every more in school so i was getting depressed and mentally unstable. And my dad was always getting up in my face and i pushed him back sometimes to make sure he didn't hurt me and he just told me i 'assaulted' him and he was going to get me put in jail for defending myself as well a lot of the time. I had been to a mental hospital where i live 8 times. Some of them because i was mentally unstable, and 2 because i was forced for no reason. For my 3 or 5 time there my dad took me to the hospital to get 'diagnosed' but he lied.i had just gotten out of another mental hospital 2 days before for being depressed and i was there for 2 weeks so i needed to get adjusted to being out of there.and when we were at the hospital the doctor came in after talking to my dad and told me 'your being sent to *name of mental hospital i was at 8 times* for sewerslidal (not gonna say the actual word) thoughts'. and i was confused at first and i told him i was having those thoughts at all. and then he told me i was being sent there anyways and then left the room. Then my dad came in and said this directly at me, 'this is what happens when you dont go to school'. i was shocked and upset about this.he lied to the doctor and i was sent to that mental hospital again for it.i never forgave him for that.i was also sent to a behavior facility twice before. one for anger and the other for SH. neither times did it work.i was an SHing person a lot so i had different ways to hide it. like hoodies, long sleeve tee shirts finally, longer shorts, gloves, and short sleeved shirts that covered my shoulders. right now im in high school and i guess my dad is trying to rekindle our relationship because he is that old already. He is nicer now but about 2 months ago he was a jerk. my mom didnt listen to my feelings during these times so i never talked to her about feelings but when she wanted to and i tried to tell her she always interuppeted me and never let me talk and told me to shut up. my sister had moved in my dad's house recently because she bought it because he retired. my dad is planning on moving to my mom's place with me.and now here is an old relationship i need to talk about badly because my sister says i agreed to most of it when i didnt. it was my last year of middle school when it happened. i was already at a different school. I was still bullied but i could handled it a bit better there. my first boyfriend broke up with me 2 months after we got together and i was in 7th grade at that point when we broke up.i had just moved to that school about 2 months before we started dating.the reason he broke up with me was because 'he didnt feel love'.love is an emotion. you cant just not feel it right.i was touch starved and loved starved during that time so the summer after the broke up i was really mentally unstable and SH.i was taken to the mental hospital again. And when i came back to school after 2 months of being in the behavior facility for the second time so it was novemeber of my last year of middle school.about the end of November i was dating my guy best friend at that time.i didnt except what would happen after.he neglected me a lot when we saw each other at school during lunch even if we sat next to each other, was toxic and mad at me where i cried during that and wanted to feel pain, never stood up for me, never cared about how i felt or when i SH but pretended he did, and lastly he was obsessed with me during this time.threatening to hurt people. The first time i went to his house he got really touchy and then the second time he took that one thing a girl will never get back in her life no matter what.i was really desperate for love during that time but i didnt want to do that..he convinced me though. And then at school during lunch in the cafeteria while we were sitting with our friends at lunch he would touch me badly and threaten to do it more if i didnt eat or would do it anyway.i didnt eat much back then cause i was trying to lose weight, was having an eating disorder where i got sick every time i even at at least 2/4 of my meal. I didnt tell anyone this until last summer.i was still with him at the beginning of summer till my current boyfriend started talking to me on roblox after years of not talking because he moved while i was in 4th grade.he was a good friend. my current boyfriend told me what my ex was doing wrong at that time so i did the right thing and broke up with my ex.but my ex did scare me badly. He threatened to kill someone for me. i was terrified at that. He also had a spilt personality he would talk to me with a lot of the time. Then after a month of me breaking up with him my current boyfriend and me got together. He was a little toxic at first but he got better and was really nice to me. but we are in a long distance relationship. We talk a lot on discord and do video calls when we can.i was at 2 different public school this year.neither of them cared about what was happening to me so i started online school.i didnt go to either of them cause i was still bullied i couldnt handle it.and then when i started online school the teachers for that school accused me of not doing my work when i did them days in advance.i was doing really good but if i got most of the questions right on the quiz i still failed it.i would get 90% out of the question right and still get an f on the quiz.i started failing those classes and i was stressed with the video meetings cause there would be one right after another.i didnt get to pick my electives at all because the day i got the papers to see which ones i wanted they already picked them for me.and my dad was being a jerk the entire time as well as my sister so i was getting to a point of relaspe but didnt. im still kinda on that point but not that much.i dont go to therapy or a medication doctor anymore because the medication doctor kept telling me to lose weight when i was trying to, told my parents to send me to a children's home because i was not going to school because of the bullying and my regular doctor i had been seeing since i was a baby said the same because i was 'fakeing' being sick.i wasnt sick though but i was having an eating disorder still during that time to the point i was throwing up everything in my body every time i ate more than 6 bites of food.even the foods that were easy to eat i couldnt eat.and the reason i dont go to therapy is because all the ones i went to as a kid fired us for no reason and then a family counselor did the same thing because i was being rude.i was rude at all but i was pissed during that time cause i never got to talk and tell my side of the story and my family kept saying that raising my voice volume just a small bit was yelling and they still say that and my sister does the same with the voice volume but they dont say she is yelling when she is.if you guys have any of advice to help with any of this thank you.i have been wanting to vent for a long time but i didnt have a way to until now.

I'm looking for players that love to participate in roleplay. There's a fair amount of action, but I mostly focus all my energy on boss fights. This is NOT a beginner's campaign. This is only because I myself do not have the ability to teach the system since I'm a very free form when it comes to dnd. And I feel teaching someone would take too much of my time already. The only reason why I did 18 plus is I don't want to censor my game for some 16 year old that happens to live in Florida. Or for me to deal with any pedos I happen to accidentally pick up from the application process. We will be using roll20 and Discord to run it. So be prepped for that. And games will be weekly at 2pm EST on Wednesday. With this campaign, expect the setting to be a mix of Treasure Planet, a dash of Star Wars, and Star Trek for flavor. Then finally a hint of Call of Chathulu.
Here's some setting lore:
The year is 835. The war between the Astral Alliance and the Giff Empire had just started settling. And the Intergalactic Tribunal. A sort of United Systems government meant to unify the galaxy. While wars and inner conflicts are starting to mysteriously erupt in the star systems across the Re'alms Galaxy. Most pirates and common men say the tensions between each other are starting to rise once more. From the darkest corner of the universe, Translvata. Where Lupins and Vampire pirates are in constant conflict. To the ever-bright L'ong Nagaa, the birthplace of dragon kind, and for pirating. Xaryxispace, the cradle for the astral elves. Even the ever-untouched system of Exandria is on the very edge of a full-blown war. Doomspace is as doomed as ever... The only clue to some of this archaic chaos lies on Earth. A Planet far beyond the Re'alms Galaxy that seems to be close to being swallowed up by the mysterious darkness beyond known space... Earth. A system that many scholars and scientists theorize as a prophecy. That once earth is swallowed up by an encroaching darkness. It will make its way to our galaxy to destroy it... Will this group of adventurers save the Universe?! Or will it be consumed like all the rest...
And here are some small notes to keep in mind for what happened to our party already. Only so if you're already antsy to join and want to make a character.

• The Earth was fucking EXPLODED by the Illithid Empire. When the party tried to flee they got captured by one of the Mother ships. Thankfully they are saved by Adda Crawford and a wizard who was later found dead. The same planet they crash landed on and later escaped.
• Once leaving the planet. the party is confronted by Xaryxis Empire Police(Astral Elf Empire). They are brought to the Imperial Citadel before the Empress. Upon recognizing the party, and hearing their story. She realizes drastic measures must be taken. She then explains that a scientist by the name of Professor Ishmael Bulter has been researching how the Illithid Empire and their patron had been repelled 800 years previously. And the shrines he had been researching have something to do with it.
• Once they do show up in Doomed Space. The Professor reveals that shrines all across the galaxy do indeed have something to do with how the galaxy survived 800 years ago. To solve the puzzle to activate the shrine, that party is sent to a church nearby where the local villagers were acting sus. Guards keep them from going inside the church. Saying they'll need a special key for a guitarist named Don Von Mcron. Once they obtained the key and defeated the cultists. The party had then met face to face with I'quar Vara's avatar. (Mindflyer queen and goddess). Did some shady goddess shit before pulling the avatar back into the Far Realms through a portal.
• One shrine down, four more to go. The party heads for L'ong Nagaa. The Ancestral home for dragon kind and Space Piracy. The players find out about a race and join it. Solar Dragon attacks them. (ooooo~) After the race, winning the prize money. The player's are summoned by the Pirate Queen, Docar the Impish. She explains that the dragon's weren't support to be attacking mortal ships like that. And the missing 'Grand Caretaker' was supposed to keep the balance between the Lunar and Solar dragon queens that live in the solar system. The players are then ordered to find where this Grand Caretaker last was, with the Lunar Dragon Queen, Grand Madam Chandarma. They discover the Caretaker fucking DIED and a batch of eggs that were to hatch soon, destroyed. Grand Madam Chandarma explains that her prize egg was stolen. And she suspects the Solar Queen to have something to do with it. So in order to reach the sun where the nest in located, they must obtain upgrades for they're ship and for space suits. However on the way to Fort Greyskull (Where the shops that sell the items)... They come across some new companion. And the great battle between man and mule takes place... (ask me about it, kinda funny)
• After getting the tech they need, they went to turn in the body of the Grand Caretaker to the temple of other monks. One of the spiritual leaders insists that the party visits the sun of the system to stop the Mindflyer General. They settle a payment and they head over. Once they're over at the sun they discover that the nest is in fact. Inside the sun itself. Once they make through the hot webbed plasma labyrinth, the ancient solar brood mother is facing off aginst the Mindflyer General and her forces. A villainous monolauge and a boss battle later. They defeat the Mindflyer General by destroying the mother brain on her ship.
• With two shrines down, they touch base with the Xerxian Empress to touch base, and to also turn in the Mindflyer General's skeleton. (Turns out she used to be her daughter before she was a mindflyer). And with a creepy encounter and some foreshadowing. The players have now arrived in the United Empire of Bestellia. Where the party is about to be arrested and put to trial...

Anyway, the sign-up process is the same as usual. Fill out an application with the google forms link below, then I reach out on discord for an interview call to see if you're a good fit for the party. I'm looking for just one person this time around. But if you don't get accepted the first time around, I will add a list of cool folks I'll reach out to first if anyone else drops the group.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1wsQ024HPJOuxICH_MJf0LG6IVz2u1WRNWkpYuPChVlQ/edit#response=ACYDBNjcmhPjYrBW-1qbK2RWtU2Lup99jjx581PHvyhKFr3y_4I2IEobnqtoZqfVEigXtb0
And I'll message anyone who applied from Graysondagent#4911 or from graysondagent (I still don't get if I still need to use the numbers or not so bear with me.) So DON'T reach out to me first unless you have applied. I will not awnser your request if you do

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I was at a disadvantage before, looking around in unknown territory, but here? This is my house. My country. My library! I have walked around these halls so many times that I have a pretty good mental map of where everything is. Considering the most requested academic tomes are under the protection of the Librarian, I go investigate the shelves on the first floor, where you find mostly reference books.

All this confidence I managed to build up disappears the instant I notice there’s a group of students in the lodges to the side of the hall, just minding their own business. My throat dries up, my knees shake a little bit.

Saints damn it, why aren’t you all on vacation!?

And they are sitting right on my way, between me and the shelves. I am sure the symbol has to be on the shelves…

“Time to turn tail and run, like always.”

“You can do it. Take a deep breath, look straight onwards and walk!”

Taking her advice, I do my best to not look at ANYTHING and just go straight as an ant to the shelves.

“Wait. What if any of them say hi? Oh no. Uhm. Take a quick look! But make it super, super quick!”

Damn it.

My eyes slowly turn to the left as I am walking. Are they looking at me? Did they look at me? WILL they look at me? They don’t seem to even notice me. Should I call for their attention? Should I say hi? I don’t even know them, that would be weird. But what if I do know them and I just don’t remember? There’s lots of law students around, maybe they are law students? I can’t see their books from this distance, maybe I need glasses. Would glasses make me look unassuming? I wish people didn’t look at me…

Eventually I reach the shelves without exchanging a single word with these people. I really, really hope I didn’t look like a nervous wreck while walking by, but I guess there isn’t much I can do about that now, can I? Ugh, I can barely focus as I start looking on the shelf itself, trying to find anything out of the ordinary…

“You’re nervous when there’s a lot of people, and you’re nervous when there’s few people. What will it take for you to be happy about something, huh!? Tiresome bitch…”

I sigh loudly. I left my S.O.S. at home, so I can’t really get rid of these voices tonight… I’ll have to brave them.

“It will be a hard time… but you can do it.”

Taking a deep breath, I continue trying to focus on finding that damn ‘golden symbol’ around the shelves, even taking out a few suspiciously out of place books, just to check if the symbol could be carved on the back of the shelf or something…

Nothing.

I spend a good long hour checking each shelf on the first floor as methodically as my body allows… before I know it, I have given up on everything and am sitting on a bean couch at the main hall, letting my eyes close slowly…

… When I open them again, I practically jump out of my chair.

Did I just fall asleep!?

“Oh boy.”

I pick up my phone to check… It's 2 in the morning.

“Oh boy! Who could have guessed things would go wrong, huh?”

I can still feel the sleepiness in my limbs, my eyelids feel so heavy. Saints, help your poor servant!

The lights feel so vibrant here, so annoying and white. I can practically hear them buzz… but then, I notice something else. The smell of decent coffee, recently brewed. I look around, quickly finding the librarian at her desk, serving cups of coffee to the group I saw… I think of going over and taking one but that would probably imply conversation. And I am not ready for conversation! I—

“Oi! You finally woke up!” The librarian catches me instantly with a knowing smirk. “Want a cuppa?”

I freeze. For a moment I think: ‘hey, let’s pretend I didn’t hear her!’, but I don’t have my headphones on and I made eye contact. I am trapped, TRAPPED.

“M-Mhm.” I manage to whimper, nodding my head quickly.

“Then come over, don’t be shy. We’re all night owls here.”

There is a sense of community there that’s quite alluring, but the curious looks of that group of students really feel like cold daggers on my chest. Still, I gather all my courage and robotically walk over to the group, taking a styrofoam cup, and then watching the woman fill it up slowly with coffee as black as my soul. Just like I like it… just with a hint of sugar, though.

“So you finally came around again. I was wondering what happened to you.” The old lady looked at me, knowingly.

“You… you recognize me?” I can’t help but feel a mixture of happiness and abject horror mounting on my back.

“My child, I recognize every single person who comes to my library! I know them all, believe it or not! Including these rascals over here.”

The others laughed. I just looked at my coffee while mixing a teaspoon of sugar in it. She’s probably joking, right? I mean… there’s no way she actually memorizes every visitor, right?

“Maybe she’s a witch.”

Knowing what I know now? I wouldn’t be surprised. I just take a sip of my coffee.

“You’re not here to study for the special tests, are you?” The lady again read me like a saints’ damned book. “You’re looking for something special.”

“It’s nothing that ominous.” I quickly cover. “I am just looking for a particular book, but I am not sure where I could find it in the library.”

“Why not ask for help? I am right here, precisely for that!” The Librarian puffed up her chest. “If I don’t get anything to do, I get bored.”

“Ah, well, you see…” I start getting nervous again. I can’t just tell her the truth! What if I slip and this woman turns out to be a cloak testing me? Or worse, a sleeper! I am quite sure the whole ‘Secret of magic’ is a very serious matter! I could get her and myself in a big pickle!

The woman seems to notice my distress… and instead of trying to reassure me, the damn crone just goes and says:

“Is it poooorn you’re after, boy?~”

Saints help me.

The others are laughing and looking at me all smiley, why!? Why must this lady put me in a situation like this!?

“T-There’s the internet for stuff like that!” I blurt without thinking. “I mean! Ah! Damn it!”

More laughs. At this point my face must be lighting up red and radiating hotter than active uranium.

“I. Can’t. It’s a symbol!”

“A symbol?” One of the other students tilted his head with curiosity. “What kind of symbol? Are we talking chemical or arcane?”

“Nerd spotted. You’re among comrades here, breathe easy.”

It’s hard to breathe easy when people are actively laughing at me, saints damn it!

“It… symbolizes gold.” I finally relented. “I am not sure which one of the many, many interpretations it could be. I thought of the alchemical symbol for gold, or a Sun, who knows…”

“That’s a little vague.” The student said, frowning a little bit and rubbing the back of his neck. “The symbol is in the book? Like, on the cover?”

What am I even supposed to answer to that!?

“I. Think?”

“Well.” The Librarian recovers the reigns of the conversation with a grin. “If that thing you are looking for isn’t here? It may be a literature tome. You know, on the second floor.”

“Y-Yeah…” I sigh. This whole conversation has just been so stressful.

“Well! It could be the Golden Ratio!” One of the girls says. “You know the Golden Ratio?”

“Isn’t that the whole shell inside a rectangle thing?” I blink.

“Yeah! They use the helenian letter ‘phi’ to represent it.”

The girl is nice enough to draw it for me…

Phi
I stare at the symbol on the paper for a moment. That’s… actually useful. And it does make sense! It could be this! Suddenly inspired, I stand right up and finish what’s left from my coffee in one gulp, not even caring that it burns my damn throat as I do so.

“Okay, this works. Thank you!” Without even feeling the anxiety attack me again, I bow my head and turn around to go right for the stairs!


When Tav had turned around and moved out, the Leader of the Coven looked at her young apprentice with a frown, shaking her finger slowly at the girl.

“You shouldn’t be so obvious with your hints, young girl.” The woman shook her head softly. “We could have had fun with her for at least another hour!”

“I didn’t feel like being cruel today.” The apprentice said with a sleepy grin, while some of the others ruffled her hair and called her a ‘softie’. “The Bastard needs a way to learn! And it would be sad to see the Overseer waiting for another night…”


I rush past the empty reception desk on the second floor, joging without even caring about the ‘No Running’ rule as I go head first into the wooden shelves of the literature section. And it doesn’t even take me that many attempts to finally see something: a symbol carved on the wooden side of one of the shelves.

Phi. Lower case. Small enough to not be disruptive, but big enough to be noticeable.

My eyes widen, and I immediately approach the symbol with awe invading my body. I don’t even dare to touch it at first, that’s how big my excitement is! Whatever does this mean!? Is this whole building the Elysium? Or just the second floor? Isn’t this place way too public for what they mean to do?

Finally giving up on trying to be cautious, I just touch the symbol. For a moment nothing happens, and I feel the panic starting to take over again.

“Trust the process, maybe it takes a moment!”

I keep my finger pressed on the carved symbol for a moment, taking slow, deep breaths as I try to keep myself from going into a saints damned anxiety attack. But then, something does happen. Octarine, that strange colour, starts filtering from my very veins and into the symbol, filling in the carving before flowing on the air like a river of vibrant purple-green. It advances in front of my eyes, dancing and spiraling before flowing deeper into the library.

“What…?”

“What are you waiting for!?”

“Follow it!”

I don’t have to tell myself twice! My legs don’t have the energy to keep running, but the colour is not flowing super fast, so I can just walk behind it until it reaches an empty wall on the deepest side of the second floor. I put my hand against it and push slightly, this time trying to cause the flow myself! My excitement knows no bounds when the colours flow from my forearm to my palm, and then spread on the wall like vines growing in all directions.

“Idiot! What if someone can see you!?”

Biting my lower lip, I quickly turn around. No one followed me, good! I can focus again on the wall, or in this case the lack of it: where there was a wall now there’s an entrance, a black hole just waiting for me to jump in. With a sigh, I decide to ignore my anxieties and just go into the darkness, being quickly surrounded by it as the wall quickly appears again behind me.

It takes a moment for my eyes to get used to the room, but when they do the way is clear: a spiral stairway going up.

“More stairs… why do people here love their stairs!?”

With a frustrated grumble, I take a step on the stairs, only for them to start moving on their own. Huh. Now that’s convenient! I just let them take me higher and higher, without even questioning how they move without mechanisms or electricity. Magic is just Like That™.

It doesn’t take long until the light hits me: a faint, gentle blue light, like a beautiful night sky. My observation proves right on the money, for what I find on top of the stairway is a tremendous planetarium: a dome of darkness with distant white lights showing the spectacle of the stars right above us.

There are some tables and chairs around, some bookshelves too… and sitting on one of them, was the specter of someone I know. The figure of a certain book vendor.

Miss Pelafina gently brushed some of her dyed black hair behind her ear to look at me with a mocking grin.

“Took you long enough, didn’t it? Kid.”

Hello,
I'm reaching out today with a heavy heart and a desperate plea for help and advice regarding my financial situation. I find myself in a deep hole of debt, totaling around £8,000, and the circumstances leading to this predicament are both heartbreaking and infuriating.
I was in a relationship with someone who turned out to be manipulative, violent, and abusive. During our time together, he not only exploited me emotionally but also financially. He racked up £5,000 worth of debt in my name without my knowledge, and on top of that, stole an additional £2,000 from me, along with valuable items like jewelry and electronics.
Discovering his addiction to cocaine and infidelity with prostitutes was a devastating blow. Despite his deceit and abuse, I found the strength to end the relationship and remove him from my life. However, the damage had been done, and I was left to deal with the aftermath.
The fear he instilled in me continues to haunt me. I'm terrified of him and the consequences of confronting him. As a result, I've shouldered the burden of paying off the debts he incurred, even though it was never my responsibility in the first place.
I'm a hardworking individual, employed full-time as a flight attendant, yet I struggle to make ends meet. The stress of managing my finances, coupled with the shame and guilt of my situation, has taken a toll on my mental health. I'm currently on medication for anxiety and depression, and the constant worry keeps me awake at night. I also feel angry at myself for everything, I was young and naive and vulnerable and stupid but that’s your early twenties for you I guess. Lesson learned :(
To make matters worse, I've also had to contend with the physical repercussions of his actions. Contracting a sexually transmitted infection due to his infidelity has resulted in ongoing medical expenses and health issues.
Despite my best efforts, it feels like I'm drowning in debt with no end in sight. The thought of spending the next four years paying off loans is daunting, and it leaves me feeling hopeless about my future. How can I ever hope to save for important milestones when I'm struggling just to stay afloat?
I'm sharing my story here in the hopes of finding some solace, guidance, and support from this community. Any advice, financial assistance, or words of encouragement would be immensely appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to read.