Quit smoking hungry

redditors helping redditors to quit smoking

2009.11.06 07:38 redtaboo redditors helping redditors to quit smoking

This reddit is a place for redditors to motivate each other to quit smoking. We welcome anyone who wishes to join in by asking or giving advice, sharing stories, or just encouraging someone who is trying to quit.
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2009.06.08 17:06 salvage Support for people wanting to free themselves from smoking/using nicotine (& help for staying quit)

Hello! This sub is for anyone looking for support and assistance in breaking free from nicotine addiction. It is also for for those who have already broken the grasp of nicotine in their lives and want to remain vigilant against relapse. Every last person reading this right now is capable of breaking free from nicotine. It takes some work, especially in the beginning, but you’ll find you can truly live life just fine without it. Let’s help each other quit and stay quit.
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2009.09.11 23:08 samharris0810 quitsmoking

wanna quit? join us over at /stopsmoking!
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2024.05.17 00:09 AdeptnessUpstairs509 I stopped taking adderall and now I’m bingeing again.

Hello all. I (24 F) have never posted on Reddit before but reading these posts is comforting so I figured writing one might help me too. It might even help someone else. To understand this story I have to go back 6 years ago. I was medically discharged from college after attempting to take my own life. It’s not something I talk about very much but I did do several years of therapy. Without getting too in-depth, I had a traumatic childhood and the stress of being at college was too much for me. I gained a significant amount of weight at the end of high school and even more weight my freshman year of college. I had been put on every anti-depressant there was, but never found one that worked for me. My binge-eating was completely out of control, and my low self esteem from the weight gain only fueled my depression. My psychiatrist suggested I start taking adderall. He called it a “radical form of an antidepressant”, as well as a method to control my binge-eating. I was skeptical but willing to try anything. I had lived in a dark hole in my mind for many years now and would try anything to get out. I was started on 30 mg once a day of instant release adderall. It was a god send. I felt in control for the first time in my life. And I was in love with the feeling. I went from laying in my bed all day everyday to hiking for miles and miles. I started going to the gym and it became my sanctuary. And on top of it all, that voice in my head telling me to keep eating was permanently turned off. For 6 months, I was unbelievably happy. I lost 30 pounds. And I felt beautiful for the first time in my life. Everyone was telling me how good I looked and my confidence skyrocketed. I never wanted to lose that feeling. I started noticing that the duration of my adderall “high” was getting shorter and shorter. I began to only take it before I went to the gym, which helped me work out for 3 hours and not feel tired. When I’d get home I’d force myself not to eat even though I was hungry. I was starting to get a tolerance. The euphoric feeling I got when I took my daily dose slowly started to fade away completely. I began taking two 30 mg pills every day; one in the morning to work out and one in the late afternoon to control my hunger. It worked for a while, but man that tolerance catches up quick. Before I knew it was taking three, four pills each day. 120 mg of adderall, and still barely feeling it. Chasing that amazing high I felt years prior. It had taken me a long time to get to this point, but it was taking a toll on me. I started bingeing again despite the medication. And the come down of the adderall was starting to scare me. I would start the day miserable, take a bunch of pills, feeling slightly better for a few hours, and end the day wanting to unalive myself. My breaking point came one day when I felt particularly horrible, spiraling inside my own head down a dark tunnel I could not see out of. I came clean to my boyfriend who I live with that I was misusing my medication and it was going to kill me. I dumped out all of my meds down the toilet and quit cold turkey. I am 13 days clean. Every Reddit post says it takes time to go back to feeling normal, but I was never normal. And my bingeing is more out of control than it ever was. I just binged today again and it feels like I’ll never get over it. The worst part is that I’ve gained all the weight back and I feel disgusting. It’s just not fair. I just want to be normal and not need some pill to not binge. I felt beautiful for the first time in my life. I was healthy. It’s not like I even had abs or became underweight. I looked and felt great. I was eating like a normal person. But I can’t continue living like that and I can’t continue living like this either. I don’t know what to do.
submitted by AdeptnessUpstairs509 to BingeEatingDisorder [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 00:02 MCDaddy75 Strain Review - Tangerine Queen - Kootenay Quantum Farms (Antidote)

Strain Review - Tangerine Queen - Kootenay Quantum Farms (Antidote)
Tangerine Queen from Kootenay Quantum
Sativa
Lineage: Jager x Gorilla Glue x Humbolt Black Gold x Tang Breath
Processor – Antidote Processing
Hydroponically grown with LED, hand trimmed and 14 day cold cured.
Nose: The first time that I smelled it I laughed out loud to myself because of the wonderful it was! It definitely had a huge wow factor on the visuals and the nose. I loved how it smelled. It was sweet and creamy with a smooth tangerine hit and some vanilla and caramel. There was some gas in behind that really added to it. Amazing nose!
Stickiness/Moisture: The moisture level was awesome, and it was quite sticky, and it had a nice feel to it.
Taste: It had some big flavour to it! I got lots of the tangerine in the taste with some of the gas still. It was super terpy but not as complex as the nose. I didn’t get the creamy caramel as much.
Burn: The burn was good. The ash was a bit salt and peppery, but it gave of some heavy smoke, and it wanted to stay lit. It was a smooth and enjoyable smoke.
Potency/Effects: It wasn’t punchy for me, but I could feel it build up well. It had a good potency level that I think sativa lovers would enjoy. It was uplifting but not energetic as it put me in a relaxed mood still. I got a big head buzz and some enhanced visuals. I find that things get more colourful and crisp with certain sativas.
You can watch the full-length video review:
On Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihpdR4lJDHY
Or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/C7CucRTSZKX/
submitted by MCDaddy75 to CanadianCannabisClub [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 00:00 LivingSome2472 Need Advice - Struggling with Unexplained Health Symptoms

I’m a 22-year-old male, and I used to smoke from ages 14 to 20 but stopped. About a year and a half after quitting, I was full of energy and enjoying life, staying active with lots of sports. However, things took a turn when I started experiencing unexplained health issues.
It all began one day at a coffee shop with friends when I suddenly had shortness of breath. I found myself having to manually open my nostrils to breathe properly. Not long after, I started experiencing headaches. Initially, I thought it might be a cold or something minor, but the symptoms persisted and worsened.
As days went by, I began to experience extreme bouts of fatigue. I would feel fine in the morning, but by the afternoon, I would be overwhelmingly exhausted, as if I were about to collapse, then it would pass, and the cycle would repeat. Alongside this, I’ve had persistent left chest pain lasting for about six months and an ongoing dry sensation in the middle of my throat that’s incredibly irritating.
I’ve visited numerous doctors and undergone a full range of tests including blood work and scans, but everything comes back normal. Despite these results, I live with some form of symptom every day – either a recurring issue or something new. It’s visibly taking a toll on me; I have dark circles under my eyes and just look like I’m suffering.
Three doctors have suggested I start taking antidepressants, although I don’t feel depressed; I’m just frustrated and upset by these relentless symptoms that interfere with my work and studies.
Has anyone here experienced something similar? Any advice will be appreciated please 🙏🏻! Im suffering to the max guys i swear god.​⬤
submitted by LivingSome2472 to antidepressants [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 23:48 Puzzleheaded_lava I'm so excited

November of 2023, after months of wanting to, I decided to stop drinking. I have OCD and my anxiety had gotten so bad and I was like "alcohol isn't helping I gotta stop this." I also didn't realize that the recommended amount of alcohol is one drink for a woman and that was eye opening. I've always had "rules* about my alcohol intake. So I thought it wasn't that bad.
I also got sick and had something very upsetting happen and I decided instead of drinking to numb it I was going to stop. I had 12 days, maybe more, where I had less than one oz of booze. And then I stopped. On the anniversary of my brothers death I asked a neighbor if they'd give me two shots for one for me and one to pour out for my brother because I didn't want to buy any. She said sure. But for most of November December and January I just wasn't drinking.
I have CRPS and I had a major pain flare at the end of January and after weeks of doing all the right things to manage it...eventually I was suicidal from how painful it was..so I bought some booze.
I've got back down to less than 2oz for a couple days now. And had several days where I just didn't have any booze so I didn't drink. I started tapering down again and measuring my allowance and not going over it for over two weeks now.
I talked to my doctor about changing my antidepressant to Wellbutrin. You're not supposed to drink on Wellbutrin and I wanted a reason to stick to staying sober. I also want to quit smoking. And my current antidepressant..makes me depressed so it's hard to stay away from the booze (even though I know booze ultimately causes depression)
I'm posting on here for the first time because I want tonight to be my last night of tapering off. I'm so excited to get off my current antidepressant and try Wellbutrin and I'm so excited to get and stay sober.
I've already lost some weight from tapering down my alcohol. I don't have a booze belly anymore. Waking up is so much easier. Even when my toddler is testing boundaries and being challenging I don't reach for the booze to try and "drink some patience" I find the patience internally. I have more energy to clean and do fun things with my daughter.
The main thing is I want to free up that 200ish bucks a month I spend on cigarettes and booze and buy art supplies and running shoes. A new bed. A hammock apparatus for me to do my physical therapy on.
My brother died at the end of 2022 and I keep thinking that I wish I could talk to him about how excited I am to make changes and sustain them. It sucks that I can't. I miss him but drinking won't bring him back or make the pain of losing him go away.
I know Wellbutrin can lower your seizure threshold so even though I doubt I'm in danger of having a seizure once I'm down to no alcohol I want to give it three full days of no booze before the start taking it.
The clock starts tomorrow.
I'm excited. I'm so excited.
submitted by Puzzleheaded_lava to stopdrinking [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 23:46 deleting_account123 I'm in love with my cousin

Umm hello, please don't judge me harshly, I'm seeking advice. I am aware I'm fucked up badly. I will not be using real names in this. My cousin (M22) and I (F20) have been through a lot together. From abusive parents to being SA'd by another relative of ours. If my parents were abusing me he'd step in and fight them off or take the punishment with me. Not long he started lashing out at everyone and he became a trouble maker so they shipped him off to a military boot camp, that was the moment I knew I loved him. It was when I thought I'd never see him again. When he left my family used me as their punching bag, mentally and sometimes physically. So without his uplifting words or his distractions I started to find different alternatives to cope with the adjustment of his departure and the cruel things that continued to happen to me. In the span he was gone I tried attempting to off myself 7 times before I just called it quits (because I gaslit myself into him getting out and thinking we would runaway together)and started cutting and burning myself instead. Needless to say when he got out he changed so much. He didn't smile, he didn't look at me, I ran up and hugged him and he didn't react at all. He picked up habits like smoking and drinking. His physical appearance changed. He was stronger, buffer, and he had a sharper jawline. The man was handsome. After a week of him being back home he didn't come to see me and he didn't allow me to see him. If he did he'd be around the cousin he knew hurt me sexually. If he saw me get hit or degraded he wouldn't do anything but stare at them while I stared at him. What hurt most is when my mother made us all go to church and the pastor called me out because I wrote suicide notes to each of them and I had a failed attempt to off myself through her diabetic medication but for some reason I lived again. I remember taking the whole bottle and still waking up the next morning by my mother yelling at me for being depressed and tired. Anyway she took us to church and the pastor read the letters out loud and I was forced to kneel in front of the entire church and beg for an apology. My cousin just stood there staring at me again. He didn't react until my rapist started laughing under his breath so he let out a laugh that didn't sound like his regular laugh. This day I never forgot, the embarrassment the humiliation I felt. So I decided to run away that same day but didn't make it far because I got caught by my cousin, he didn't tell anyone but he made sure to keep a close eye on me. Half my family decided to move to California including his immediate family but he decided to stay I still don't know why. Years later (today's time/2 weeks ago) he confesses to me he is in love with me and he has loved me since we were children. For some stupid reason I believed him because those were words I've wanted to hear all my life. Even from back then he changed, he no longer looked at me, he just laughs or join in with their criticisms or insults. But at least no one hits me now. I decided to give this relationship thing a try and it was great, he even started to stick up for me again a little but he doesn't want to get me in more trouble with us being related and in love with each other. Or so I thought. He has a high sex drive and I thought it was normal because he is a guy and according to my mother men in this family does. The first time we had sex together he was rough, he didn't listen to my request or if I yelled at how painful it was, and I didn't even want to finish due to how much pain he left me in. I'm pretty sure it's my fault because I believed his lies still hold on to who he was before he was forced to leave all those years ago. He also didn't use a condom when I asked him to bring them. We got in a argument after and he said something that I don't believe he would ever do. The argument was because my guy friend from college texted me hey (despite me finding over 5 women in his phone) and I never answered him back because I know this guy friend wanted more than to be friends. So after he threw my clothes at me, called me a whore despite him being my first, and stormed out of my room I followed him to clear up what was going on. The words stung but I brushed them off. He was sitting in the living room and I sat beside him trying to get my point across until he said "We are fucking related, its not like we are in a real relationship anyway." That shut me up completely. My heart hurt and I cried on the spot. So I yelled at him for the first time (I said: What do you call this then, this was your first and last time with me you will never have access to me or my heart again) and he got madder. I have never seen him move so fast it was scary. He got on top of me and pinned my hands above my head and slapped me. The look in his eyes terrified me he said I belonged to him and he didn't need my permission to have his way with me. After he said that he kissed me roughly when I didn't respond to his kiss he bit my lip hard and I screamed in pain while he inserted his tongue in my mouth. The only reason he left me alone was because my phone started ringing and it was my mother who was calling to see if I cleaned her house, after I hung up the phone he started crying and begging for me to forgive him. I did. He still reminds me of who he was until he went to that boot camp. I still see it in him. Now its been a week since this happened and he has went back to his old ways of a high sex drive. He still doesn't like wearing condoms so he doesn't. He doesn't pull out though I tell him to and sex is still painful for me. After sex today he told me that I wanted it. He wanted me to have a baby for him, he wanted to trap me with him. I don't understand. I feel disgusted, used, and heart broken. I watched him get dressed and walk out the door with a smile on his face. I'm afraid if I resist his advances he'll take it without my consent and I'd see him just like every other abuser in my family. I'd rather it this way then seeing him as an evil person. I don't want to see him differently he's the only one I have. Is there any advice you can help me with? I'm almost done with my degree and it's not even in a career I want this is my mothers dream job. But I'm going to use it because I worked for it. At the moment I have no job and I don't think going to the police would help anything. What should I do here?
submitted by deleting_account123 to u/deleting_account123 [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 23:40 kingpubcrisps Looking for weird strategies for quitting.

I met a woman a while back who quit smoking, she started when she was 14 and was now in her 70s, so smoking was a big part of her identity and also she was terrified of running out of cigarettes.
So when she quit, she saved three cigarettes in her last pack, to make sure if she really, really needed them she could smoke them. But to make sure she didn't she tied this pack up in a big bed sheet. So she knew it was there but too big a hassle to get to.
And then I also read this story in a book by Alejandro Jodorowsky...
I met Alejandro in the seventies. We worked on the film Dune. Every day for two months, he brought me a new surprise in his totally surreal way of approaching the creation of a work, or any thought or situation, for that matter . . . One of my most gnawing problems at the time was smoking—how to spend these long hours with this fascinating person without affirming my thoughts through big puffs of “fumoduction,” cheerfully conversing over some refreshments on the terrace at a café, once the magic was implemented. Silence around the table, all the attention turned toward what I had started. Alejandro contemplated me with a discreet and friendly mirth. I thought about this dear smoke, intangible chum, always available, effective, and reassuring, with the merry clacking of the lighter, the scratching sound of the matches . . . Was I ready to abandon these apparently indispensable pleasures? But I also thought of the gray ashes, which invade everything, of the shortness of breath, of the phlegm and pain in the mornings . . . I decided to take the step! And then, I was very curious. Not only was I going to see Alejandro perform a magic trick, but also I was going to be the object. One last thing incited me to jump: the others sitting around me, waiting for my response. Was I going to disappoint them and deprive them of magic in action?
“Okay, I am ready!”
“Right now?”
“Right now.”
“Give me your pack of cigarettes.”
I took out my pack of Gauloises, a third of the way gone. Was he going to cast a spell on them, transform them into a pumpkin? After some bizarre incantation, he whispered with seriousness: “My magic is very powerful but very simple. To quit smoking, it suffices to make the decision, and that you have already done. The problem is to remember your decision, and that is where magic takes place. Who has a pen?” I extended to him my ballpoint pen and gazed, fascinated, at the precise gestures of my friend who took apart the cellophane wrapping on the pack. He took the pen . . . I was finally going to see into what cabalistic sign, what powerful charm, he was going to transform my opened pack. “It is very simple. On this side, I write this little word—No, and on the other side this little phrase—I can.” Alejandro wrapped the cellophane back around the pack, and he returned it to me as if it were a bomb ready to explode or nothing less than the Holy Grail wrapped in a golden fleece. I should keep this pack a half-dozen weeks until, completely cleared of the least desire to smoke, I make it a gift to a friend in need—one had to wonder what this “no” and “I can” meant. I have not, since, had the least desire to touch a cigarette again.
This got me curious what kind of weird tricks you guys might have used or heard about that are not the normal '5 Ds' or eating carrots or whatever.
submitted by kingpubcrisps to stopsmoking [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 23:36 Sethm28 Im sick of my older brother beating me up and making me scared all the time

But of context i guess I (14f) and my brother (17m) had a pretty shitty upbringing we had an abusive dad my parents divorced when I we were both too young to really remember my dad was never very violent but he was very emotional abusive I stopped seeing and talking to my dad when I was 7 due to a lot of reasons but that’s a different rant anyway after that my mum dated another abusive man he never really hit me but he did hit/ attack my brother a few times he more emotionally abused me my mum left him in November 2019 and ever since it’s just been us three my brother is very strong he’s only 5’9 but still a good bit taller than me and he’s a boxer me but I can hit a good punch as well we always argued and fought as kids but it was never really that violent kinda more pushing and wrestling anyway I’m not exactly sure when it started but I remember a few times he said some pretty shitty things to me and did some pretty shit things starting from 2020 when I was 10 my mum bought me this little short set it had a cropped hoodie that was black and shorts that were black I wore a black vest underneath and when my brother saw me in it called me a whore when he was 13 (I turned 14 recently and would never imagine saying that to a 10 year old or even thinking that about a 10 year old) and said that all I’m ever gonna be in life is a one time use for some one like Jeffery epstine this hurt me but like whatever he made me full on sob free he repeated called me autistic and “special” for over an hour and saying I was a mistake I’m not exactly sure when the violence started but I remember one time I think I was 11 he wanted the remote and I didn’t give it to him so he punched me in the face took the remote it hurt like fuck so I was crying and he told my mum I was crying because he took the remote and didn’t tell her he punched me I got called dramatic and emotional then whenever we would have a disagreement he started turning violent like basically squaring up to me if we were arguing in the car he would jump over from the front seat while my mum was driving and hit me like full on multiple shots to the face and trust me I’ve had enough punches to know they hurttttt! Like ur face and body is sore for days like multiple days when I came out as bisexual and asked to use she/they he called me a mistake and told me I’d be better off dead he called me a bunch of slurs and different shit and that went on for quite a while he doesn’t care anymore tho whenever we argue or if I do things like make a small mistake he will call me really shitty things say I’d be better dead tell me to kill myself say that he’s gonna kill me his favourite move is to chase me about the house and when I go to my room and push it shut basically push it in and hit me over small disagreements he’s basically reason why I’m insecure about a lot of things because he just basically calls every part of me ugly I think the thing recently is that he’s 17 he’s 18 in December he’s learning how to drive and like he’s too old for this bs like yk and I’m done with it in December we went to Cuba I’m Scottish and Scottish parents tend to be quite loose especially on holiday one night I get a bit too drunk and my mum tells me brother to take me home when I say too drunk I mean I am black out and the whole time we’re walking he’s saying shit to me and all this bs at the time I’m 13 and he’s 17 anyway when we get in I get very angry cause he went out for a smoke and I thought ogiht he had left me completely so very drunk me finds his favourite football shirt gets shampoo and put’s shampoo or body wash all over it I can’t really remember when he comes in he sees this and he goes mental he chases me to my room and hits me and then I’m on the bed and he starts choking me while punching the shit out of me eventually I get him out and I lock the door but he spends the full night outside the door calling me ever single name under the sun yeah I get I shouldn’t of done that but it was only body wash it comes out the next morning I wake up with some pretty nasty bruises and some marks on my neck the worse one was on my leg were he kicked me a couple times and it bruised purple for like 2 weeks the next day he acts like nothing happened like he always does somtimes I wonder if he genuinely doesn’t see a problem with his behaviour a few months later we’re arguing outside about somthing stupid and he shuved me hard I rarely hit him back when he does this shit but I told him “I’m gonna fucking hit you” he gets in my face and says “who the fuck do you think ur speaking to” he turns around I hit him in the r head so hard that his head went forward and his airpod fell out the other side he turns around and hits me 4/5 times in the face and a couple body hits we argue I go back inside he shouts for a bit but we move on today he squared up to me over something small and I told him to fuck off he chases me to my room my mum comes over he sorts it out and I tell her “I’m fucking done with this I’m not gonna live on eggshells because I’m scared of my own brother” and she’s like “I’ll talk to him” this pisses me off I’m like “no you’ve said that for the last three years if you don’t sort him out the next time he hits me or tires to I’m gonna fucking kill him I mean it” she talks to him he starts shouting at her and I’m like this can’t be normal surley but the thing is that when he’s not like this he’s a really good brother so it’s hard to not forgive him I’m so angry right now but in an hour he’ll charm his way into me forgiving him and no matter how hard I try I can’t I actually feel somtimes like he’s an abusive boyfriend that I can’t leave I mean I love my mum and my brother but it’s not like this is enough reason to leave them plus even if it was I have no where to go I have no family that would think what he does is wrong another thing is when my mums talking to me after he pisses me off tryna calm me down he stands behind her smirking trying to piss me off more
submitted by Sethm28 to family [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 23:34 FriedKvothe 25 [M4F] - Seattle- Looking for my person

Hi everyone! I'm at a point in my life where I am happy with and love myself, and I am hoping to find a partner to love as well and support in the journey known as life. Ideally, you're also looking for a partner who's your best friend. I'd love to hear about your passions, nerd out, and go on cute dates! If you value growth, communication, and kindness, then let's be the best versions of ourselves together 💪
My Interests:
Devouring video essays, tackling brain teasers on Sporcle or PuzzGrid, finding cool art books, learning new things, reading murder mysteries, building things, and playing everything from Super Auto Pets to Bloodborne are just some of my interests.
Not everything I’m into is a homebody activity though; I will drive quite some ways to check out a cool waterfall, love seeing new stuff at a museum or zoo, and I'm always down to try a good restaurant. Also, I love hearing people talk about their passions or lives, so feel free to tell me anything about what you're into! I walk 5 miles or so a day, so if you like walks that would be awesome lol.
What I like the most, though, is sharing the joy of life with other people. Everything from grabbing groceries to watching someone participate in their hobby is a lot more fun with friends imo :D. Maybe they’ll be even more fun with you? (P.S. I do like my own space and can absolutely respect that you might not want to do LITERALLY everything together. If we can vibe and enjoy each other’s company, even when we’re doing our own thing, I’m totally happy! 😊)
More on me:
If any of this sounds cool to you, and you’re hoping to find a partner who’s also a great friend, please reach out! Physically, I'm down-to-earth at 5'6, with brown skin, facial hair, and a dad bod that I'm getting rid of (lost 35+ lbs already :D). If you're curious and want to see more, I'm more than happy to share some pics.
Things you might care about:
I am sober by choice (A lot of people seem to think this is a deal breaker!) You don't need to be sober as well, but if partying/drinking is a huge part of your life, we might not be a match. I like most animals but not dogs. You're free to have a dog, but if you're looking for a partner who's super into them and wants a ton of them, we probably won't work out. 
As for what I am looking for in a partner:
Physical preferences? I'm more into who you are a person, though I'd prefer if you're closer to my age :). You don't need to be a nerd, but respecting and appreciating my hobbies? That's a big yes! I'm all ears for your passions too. Please be into monogamy! No drinks or smoking here, and hoping you respect my choices there. You're free to not be sober :) Geographically speaking, closer is better. I think I'd prefer someone local, but I am open to talking to others as long as we are both okay with the limitations of an LDR. Looking forward to getting to know you! 
submitted by FriedKvothe to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 23:11 JenH1974 Looking for any advice

I'm 50F married to 49M, who is also disabled vet, for 12 years been together for 14 years. In the beginning we had so much fun. Our sex life was so much fun. I've always had a high sex drive, but even in the beginning he would turn me down. I wanted to play three times a day but he said it was too much for him. We figured out what was good for both of us until I got pregnant and quit smoking and begged him to quit. He said he would. At some point I realized that he stopped kissing me and hugging me and being close to me. Then the sex started to slowly stop. I would initiate and get turned down. Always the same excuses. He was tired, his back or whatever hurts. We went to marriage counseling in 2019 it helped with the other issues but I didn't feel comfortable bringing up the sex issues. I would try to kiss him and all I'd get was a quick peck. At some point last summer we had a conversation about smoking. I asked him when was the last time he had a cigarette. He admitted to me that he never actually quit. He's been smoking this whole time and he learned how to hide it from me by not kissing and hugging me. He actually chose cigarettes over his wife.
Around the fall I realized that he was having some ed issues and suggested he talked to his Dr. He said it was because he was in so much pain. He did get some meds and he tried them but they didn't work and he said it was because of the pain. He didn't want to go back to marriage counseling he said talking about stuff doesn't help him. Last November I asked him if I could go find what I needed elsewhere. He said yes as long as he could too. That was strange for me to think about because if he couldn't stay hard for me or he wasn't interested in sex with me I didn't understand how that was going to work with someone else, but whatever that was for him to work out. I went on adult friend finder and met a few guys over a couple of months. I was definitely getting what I was missing for years. It wasn't just the sex it was the passion and being wanted that I was missing the most. After a couple of months he couldn't find anyone to hookup with so he asked me to stop. I have but I still play with guys online sexting.
My husband has changed a lot he's always angry and he yells and swears at me and the kids. I've been a stay at home mom at his request and we've lived comfortably on his disability income. I started having issues with my hips three years ago and just recently got them replaced and I have some issues from the last surgery I'm trying to get figured out and then I plan to get a job. I know for my own sanity and for my kids I need to get a divorce. I just don't know how to get out. My inheritance from my stepdad paid off our house. He would get half if we sold it. Even if I get a job I'm positive it's not going to be enough to support myself and three kids. If I had the kids full-time I would get about 600 a month but if I'm working clearly I wouldn't get all of it. I feel so trapped.
submitted by JenH1974 to Marriage [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 23:08 Kitchen-Mud5677 I need some advice and perspectives please - We have a cranky 8.5 month old and life is tough.

Y’all I think I would just like to hear people’s positive experiences, some advice, and just some reassurance that stuff gets better.
I had a tough, life threatening pregnancy and although it was not traumatic for me (I was just concentrating on making it through) it was incredibly traumatic for my husband. Additionally just in general he is often overwhelmed with frustration. He’s just got a lot going on in addition to the regular stress of being a new parent.
I’ve been through years and years of therapy, and I’m feeling like I’m keeping my stuff together pretty well, both as a parent and as a wife. I’m tired as shit though, and running ragged. Our 8.5 month old is teething and struggles to nap in her crib. I also work from home. My husband takes care of the baby in the morning and works in the office in the afternoons. We have a babysitter come to our house until I get off at 5pm. I think I’ve left the house 4 times in the last month.
So just all together - I’m supporting my husband when he’s not at 100% and gets overwhelmed - which not entirely a him thing, just as a new parent it is quite often. I’m working 8:30am-5pm with zero compression/decompression time. There are frequent distractions when the baby gets cranky or needs a nap or when my husband needs help. The baby doesn’t sleep through the night still and she’s mad, tired, and her mouth hurts. I feel like I’m dissociated and on autopilot. The right words (or close to them) come out of my mouth but I’m not even here. My husband is frustrated because he feels like I don’t listen to him but like…. My dude, I have like 12 emails to answer, there’s a baby screaming in my face, I haven’t gotten more than 7 hours of sleep a night for more than a year, I’m hungry and thirsty, and we are out of some grocery that I can’t even remember.
Just… it gets better right?
submitted by Kitchen-Mud5677 to NewParents [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 23:02 tinabelcher182 What’s the worst thing you’ve done to a client’s home? (Accidentally!)

This is totally lighthearted. We’re all human and make mistakes, but it’s horrifying when that mistake happens in someone else’s home.
I thought my worst mistake at a client’s home was when I couldn’t get into their key lockbox after two plus hours, and I took the lockbox to their neighbour and he used a chisel and hammer to smash open the hinge. I felt awful for breaking it and offered to pay. Clients found it funny and said not to worry. That was my first ever client.
Turns out the actual worst thing I’ve done is a few months ago I nearly set fire to a long term regular client’s kitchen. I decided I would bake a loaf of bread (yes, obviously the best place to do this is in someone else’s house…). They have a convection oven rather than a traditional oven. I would imagine these are not recommended for baking bread. But I persevered with it.
I was in the dining room working on my laptop and the dog I was sitting kept looking over to the kitchen. Before I knew it, the smoke alarm was going off. Then seconds later all the thick heavy smoke was coming out of the kitchen. My phone was left in the kitchen so I had to go in to get it, while also removing the brick of black “bread” and throwing it in the sink (yes there were flames). Got the dog outside and safe. Anyway, the kitchen smelled of smoke for the rest of that week-long sitting and it turned out I’d broken the oven part of the appliance (the microwave aspect still worked but not the oven).
Anyway, I admitted to it all (not quite the severity of nearly burning their house down) and offered to pay for a new oven if they couldn’t get it working. They didn’t mention it again.
I’m sitting for them again today (I’ve actually been here twice since for a few hours but not used the kitchen) and realised they’d bought a new convection oven. I felt awful. I texted the owner to say I really meant it when I offered to pay and they said it was totally fine. But my gosh do I feel guilty.
Anybody else got any more shameful stories?
submitted by tinabelcher182 to RoverPetSitting [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 23:02 Violet-Flowersss Maxi-Challenge 6: Results

Maxi-Challenge 6: Results
Welcome back queens from our first ball! You had a tall order this challenge, and several of you did very well. Let’s not delay the results any longer!
Tracy Martel, you are safe
Absynthe, Mistress Anna Conda, Liz Onya, Raven Starfire, B*tch, and Miz Erie, you all represent the tops and bottoms of this challenge. Now, on to the critiques.
Absynthe: Absynthe, I love simple looks when they’re done right, and each and every one of your looks did simplicity right. I especially appreciate that you weaved a theme through all three looks. For your first look, I love that you went with a more recent trend. I can totally see Kim K wearing this in an “unexpected” paparazzi pic. At first, I was skeptical of the skirt, because tighter skirts or pants were more the style, but I actually appreciate that you didn’t directly copy a Kim K look. My only real critique is the shoes. I think the black laces, especially on clear shoes, takes away from the simplicity in the rest of the look and brings down the athleisurewear vibe. I would have preferred a sneaker or basic heel. I also kind of wish you had used a different lip, not only to break up a set, but also because big ass lips were more on trend for this style. Still, I really like this look as a whole. Now, your second look, I really really love. I instantly got this was a 60s look, yet it feels fresh to me. The dress is the perfect silhouette, and the squares you created are so crisp. The largest black square has a little blotch of gray that I immediately noticed, and I wish you had fixed it. But, that’s really the only thing here I can critique. I think my favorite part of this look is the mug, these eyes are just so right for a 60s look. Every choice your made with this second look is great. The third look is really the best in terms of simplicity done right. There’s not much going on, but all the details are so good and beautiful. I love the little belt below the waist, it helps convey the Greek/Roman feel you were going for. With the rest of the editing, there’s some small (small) issues. On the right side of the dress, there’s a gliterry piece sticking out that I think came from merging pieces together. I also feel like the shawl is oversaturated for this look. In a different look, it would be fine, but with the softness of the dress and overall feel of the look, that bright bright red doesn’t quite fit. Don’t think I didn’t notice that all the metals match this time though - I did and I appreciate it. Putting the small editing issues aside, this look is very beautiful and regal. In fact, all three looks are really great and beautiful. Great work Absynthe!
Mistress Anna Conda: Mistress, all three of your looks have a great concept, but fall short in terms of execution. For the first one, before you added a description, I really had no idea what decade or century you were going for. With the description, I kind of see the 2010s, but that should have been conveyed clearer. The wig is the main aspect thats makes this look feel older than the 2010s. And, I don’t love that you lightened it. The original color would have matched the pants, and if you didn’t want them to match, the wig should be a color thats more different than the pants. I appreciate that you recolored the necklaces to match the earrings, but I wish you had done the opposite, because the gold necklaces blend into the top, making it look even messier. The pants totally give 2010s, and the color is really nice. However, they don’t look like jeans, they look like leggings. Adding stitching or denim patterning would’ve made them look more like jeans. Its a nice look, I like the attitude and idea, but the small details are off and it missed the main goal of the challenge. Of your three looks, I think this second look is my least favorite. For one thing, this jumpsuit for a disco look is about the most expected choice ever. The recoloring is really nice, the teal and orange combo is really pretty. But, the balance is off. There is a lottt of teal and not a lot of orange. What’s really brining this look down, though, is the wig. To be frank, it looks like a dead bush with some green spores. If there was a reference, I wish you had provided it because I couldn’t find it online. I see the idea you had, and it could’ve been cute, but the colors really need to be changed. As a whole, I think this look is suffering from a lack of creativity and needs to be amped up. The third look is the best out of the three. Its very cute, and clearly reads as 1890s. She looks like a mix of little bo peep and mary poppins. The combination of pieces is really smooth, and the top and bottom come together to make a nice, cohesive dress. The only editing issue you have is on the top. Where the pink and blue meet, theres a rough, shaky black line. I think you were trying to make them look layers, but it just looks odd, and because of the fold that stretches across the shirt, that prevents the two different colors from looking like layers. Not to beat a dead horse, but another issue with the top is the stark difference in fabrics. The skirt is a very soft, almost matte material while the top is shiny and plasticy. They don’t look like they’d be a part of the same dress, ruining the illusion. The wig, hat, and gloves were a nice touch though and help elevate the look a bit. This look is mostly accurate for the 1980s, but what’s not right for the time period is the waist. The dress you’ve created is very unflattering, in that it completely eliminates your waist. Corsets were still popular in the 1890s, so at the very least, there should be a semblance of an hourglass figure. All three looks are nice, but not particularly stunning, mainly because of the details.
Liz Onya: Liz, each and every one of your looks is so great, and I can clearly tell you put a lot of thought and effort into every one. This first look of yours is so beautiful. I actually had to look up Akaska because I’ve never seen the movie, and all the references are so right. I especially like the headpiece, its very accurate to hers. My favorite part of this look is the smoke at the bottom, it really helps sell the mysterious vampire mystery. However… this is not a 2000s look. It kind of feels like a cope out. While the movie was made in the 2000s, the vampire your imitating is ancient Egyptian, and therefore dressed in a way thats meant to imitate ancient fashion. While others did imitate movie characters, their movie characters were from the 2000s canonically and therefore dressed in 2000s fashion. Vampires definitely were a big part of the 2000s, but if you had done Twilight instead, that would’ve fit the 2000s better because the fashion in that movie was from the 2000s. There’s no issues with your look, its gorgeous, but it does not fit the challenge prompt. Your second look is my favorite of the three, and dare I say, my favorite out of all the 1900s look. I could immediately tell this was from the 1980s, and I think you did the 80s in such a fun, new way. I love art, and I love when its incorporated into to fasion. The recoloring on the dress is just amazing. I love how it looks like its literally made of painted paper, and the shakiness of the lines works really well here because its accurate to the reference you provided. Even though it is very accurate to the reference, you still managed to make it your own by combining two references and through the wig and makeup choices. The body paint is fantastic, and even the white line on the wig looks like paint, a detail I love. The wig helps reinforce that this is an 80s look, and its blocky shape works perfectly with all the shapes throughout the dress. I don’t have a single negative thing to say about this look, incredible work. With your third look, I love love love that you went with a more obscure reference, and gave us a little history lesson. The editing really turns this into a stunning look. It easily could have been too basic if you left the dress as it is in the game, but that pool of blood at the bottom really amps up the horror here. The way you intertwined your fingers into the victims hair is so great and such an important detail. With the head, I do wish that the victims skin tone was different because at first glance it looks like your holding your own head. Using a different body type helped create a difference, but a different skin tone would have really hit it home. As for the victims body, I was really confused on what it was until I zoomed in on my laptop. All the dark blood all over the body makes it blend into the pool of blood, so its not clear that its a body. Less blood or a lighter outfit would have made it clearer. You do get extra credit for creating two 1800s looks, though. As for your head, the blood splatter on the face was such a great detail to add in there, I really love it. I would have liked a different mug, though. She looks almost surprised or sad - like shes not the one who just murdered a woman. A fiercer, meaner mug would’ve been better. The hair is great, it looks like the 1890s, but unkept and messy, adding the story. Overall, this look is so hauntingly beautiful, and tells such a great visual story. You just keep wowing me every challenge, Liz!
Raven Starfire: Raven, out of the three looks, I feel like you put the most thought and attention into the 1800s look, and let the others fall to the wayside. For your 2000s look… I’m really not loving it. You resubmitted it (which is fine) and I wish you hadn’t because I think the first submission was better. The blonde hair does not look good, the color is all wrong, and because it is so long, it completely ruins the rest of the look. The dark brown hair was a lot more complimentary and I felt it was a nice way for you to put your own spin on a Mean Girls look. The mismatched pinks really bother me, the jacket and the skirt aren’t the same shade and you could’ve easily fixed that. I’m not loving the top skirt combo otherwise either, the jacket is athleisurewear while the skirt is preppy. I think there was a lot more you could’ve done to make this look more cohesive and more unique; as-is, it reads as a knock-off mean girl. For the second look, I actually asked my mom if this look was accurate for the 80s (because she grew up then) and she confirmed that this is accurate for a boss bitch from the 80s. The makeup is great, she confirmed there were a lot of pastels in the 80s, and I like the expression the eye and lip combo makes. While all the pieces in the outfit are time-period accurate, I don’t love the look as a whole. Starting with the wig, I, for one, am not a fan of this wig already, but I think there were ways you could have improved it. But since you mentioned the big hair of the 80s, I really wish you had gone with a different wig entirely that was even bigger. I’ve seen my mom’s high school photos, and her hair takes up about 70% of the frame, so I would've loved to have seen you go really big. The same thing goes for the shoulder pads, I barely even noticed this top had them, which I wouldn’t care about if you hadn't mentioned big shoulder pads. The pattern on the top totally gives 80s, but I wish you had used a lower level of it, one that didn’t have the weird harness on it. If you wanted to keep the harness, I think it would've been nicer if it matched the skirt so the skirt color was tied into the shirt somehow. That also would’ve made the harness feel more like an intentional choice. I appreciate that you matched the shoes so exactly to the skirt, buttt I think white would’ve stood out more and tied into the gloves. This look is very accurate for the 80s, but I’m just not in love with it. Now, your 1800s look, I totally am in love with. It totally feels like its from the 1800s while still being unique and creative. The layering on the skirt is absolutely beautiful, I especially really appreciate the lace edges, it helps bring all the layers together into a cohesive look. The ruffles, the gloves, the pleats, its all so beautiful. Something was bothering me about the skirt, and it took me a little while to figure out what, but I realized the waist is not angled correctly. The figures of the queens in the game are angled to the right, so waistlines should be angled that same way. The waistline you created is angled head-on, and since the rest of the queen’s body and dress is not, it looks off. If that detail was fixed, this dress would be perfect. As for the mug, I love these eyes for this look. I’m not in love with the lips, though - the bright coral color doesn’t match the rest of the burnt tones in this look. I think a softer pink or orange lip would’ve worked better. But, these small issues don’t distract from the overall look too much, making for a stunning and beautiful look overall. If the other two looks were as great as the third look, you would be in the top, but the third look isnt enough to save you from the bottom on its own.
Btch: Btch, throughout all your looks, I can tell you really focused on refinement and cohesiveness. The first look is fine. It is not particularly inventive or creative, but it is cohesive. Even the small details go together. I especially appreciate how the zippers on the skirt match the jacket zippers, as do the silver hair accessories. The skirt color perfectly matches the fur on the jacket, which is great. Originally, my biggest issue was that you used the “Legally Drag” top to do an Elle Woods look, but then you deleted that reference pic. In doing so, you also deleted the decade you were referencing, which was in the challenge prompt. I still know you were going for the early 2000s, because I can’t erase my memory and you originally said so, but without the reference, it doesn’t totally give early 2000s. Elle Woods was over the top with how much pink she wore, that’s why she stood out - its not like that was an early 2000s trend. I don’t feel like this outfit is particularly inventive, even without the reference pic. I am grateful, though, that you took my note about using sets and didn’t use the matching hair or skirt for this top. The hair was a nice way to put your own spin on this style, and it gives early 2000s, I just wish you had incorporated your own twist into this look more. I also think the skirt you resubmitted with works a lot better for this look than the original skirt you had. Overall, the look is cohesive and solid, but not particularly creative or unique. This second look of yours is super cute, and I’m glad you took the time to recolor and resubmit it. Changing the green for the red helped simplify and refine the look- its a small change with a big effect. I am a little tired of seeing this top used for 90s looks, but the recoloring and pants help make it feel fresher. The hair is super cute for this look, but its reminds me more of Black Panthers from the 60s/70s than the 90s. It just makes me really want a Black Panter look, and sad that you didn’t give that to me. A beanie or bucket hat would’ve fit the 90s more. The shoes are cute, but they don’t really mesh with the rest of the outfit because there’s not cheetah print anywhere else. I like the little ankle bracelets, and the red cheetah print is cute, but a solid color shoe would’ve worked better. They also could’ve worked if cheetah print was incorporated somewhere else in the outfit. Its a very cute, fun look, but a tad basic. On the flip side, this third look of yours is super fun and unexpected! I adore that you went for a masculine look. I’m not always crazy about masc looks in this game, but when it’s done right, they’re so good. And this is done soooo right. Those rich brown tones look so good, and that mug is so sexy. With your editing, the hat got a little fuzzy. The ribbon around the hat could be clearer; it kind of blends into the hat. Similarly, while I appreciate that you went back to change the colors of the bows on the shoes, since they are so dark now, they just look like a blur from afar. Additionally, I really wish you had edited the hat onto a more masculine wig. The beautiful hair and sparkling earrings ruin the hot man fantasy I desperately want. I know I’ve been harsh on your editing before, and I hope that’s not why you chose not to fully edit this look. I really wouldn’t care that you didn’t fully edit if the hair didn’t pull me out of the fantasy so much. The rest of the outfit is really great and beautiful, the shining light against the dark outfit is just stunning. This look very much feels like the 1800s, but I can’t judge its accuracy to a decade because you didn’t specify a decade, which was in the challenge prompt. The inspo pic you provided shows looks from a lot of different years, and they vary, so I would’ve liked to know which decade you were trying to emulate. Otherwise, I really enjoy this look, it’s a nice twist that I didn’t expect from you!
Miz Erie: Miz, you had some great ideas for this challenge, but the execution of each look fell a little short. Your first look is cute. A bit basic, but cute. The hair i really like, I could very much see someone in an early 2000s movie with this hair. Lots of denim was definitely a trend in the early 2000s, and I’m glad you brought that. What was not a trend in the early 2000s was big top little bottoms. That’s a more recent trend. Even putting that aside, I still don’t love the tiny skirt with the giant jacket. I really want some baggy pants to balance the look more. The recoloring on the skirt is really nice, it matches the jacket without blending in. I also like the recoloring of the shoes, they feel very early 2000s and pull in the pink from the top and thong. The mug is really nice too, these lips are perfect for this look are totally give early 2000s frosted lips. I am assuming you went for an early 2000s look though because you did not specify that, which was in the challenge prompt. For your second look, I’m very happy that you specified that this was showgirl look and not a flapper look, and provided some reference pics. The top, bottom and shoes look good together and definitely give 1920s showgirl. I get what you were trying to do with the headpiece when looking at your reference photos, but I don’t feel like it works. It doesn’t look fun or sparkly like the one in the photo do, and the harsh spikes bring down the playfulness in the rest the outfit. The Eyevie or So Raven wig would have matched the reference pics more and fit the rest of the outfit better. Part of my dislike for the headpiece may be because of the mug. She’s supposed to be a showgirl, but she looks so depressed, its making me sad. I just don’t understand why you went for such a sad face. For the rest of the outfit, while the top and bottom match colors and look good together in that regard, the nakedness of the top against the bottom doesn’t fully work for me. The skirt is a little slutty with the leg sticking out, but its waist is solid. She either needs to be wearing less clothes or more clothes. The shoes work really well, they’re subtle but the gold details are a nice touch. The idea is nice, but these issues bring the whole look down. Your third look is the best, but theres still some issues with it. I love the idea behind your 1850s look, and parts of it are really beautiful, but the execution fell short in a few ways. The combination of the top and dress is really nice, they come together to make a cohesive dress perfectly. There’s a slight editing issue with the wig though. On the left shoulder, one strand of hair is all choppy. The hanging bow ribbons are also choppy around the edges. I like that you changed the earrings on this wig, but they’re not actually connected to the ears. They’re just floating in the wig. The recoloring and editing on the dress is perfect, but I have a few other issues with it. The darkness in the middle looks unflattering, especially when the bust has that same pattern, but lighter. The gradient on the skirt should have been reversed. While the pattern is very pretty, its a lot to have it all over. If the bust was solid, it would make the dress less busy, and make the patterning stand out more. The pattern on the bows especially doesn’t help with the busyness; the pattern is too small on them to really be effective so they just look blurry and weird. Another issue I have with this look is that the wig doesn’t work for this dress. I know the top and wig are part of a set (which I don’t love that you used them together), but the simplicity of the wig and the fact that its hanging down doesn’t work with the fullness of the dress. An updo would’ve worked better, and been more accurate for the time period. The idea was really great, and the execution was almost there, but these issues make the look feel unfinished, and the same goes for the other two looks as well.
Absynthe, your simple looks really wowed me. You are safe. You used the Golden Fig on yourself, but since you are high/safe, it has no effect.
Liz, challenge after challenge, you just keep amazing me. Condragulations, you are the winner of this challenge!
B*tch, you are safe.
Raven, your 1800s look was stunning, but the other two were not. I’m sorry my love but you are up for elimination.
Miz Erie, your ideas were great, but your execution was not. You… are safe.
That means, Mistress Anna Conda, I’m sorry my love but you are up for elimination. Now, it is time for you and Raven to looksync for your life!
submitted by Violet-Flowersss to MissFiggysDragRace [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 22:52 Pydras 28 [M4F] Canada/Online - Seeking someone to search the stars with!

The title may be a little bit cheesy, but I honestly love stargazing and space. Helps that my hometown is also great for some night time viewing.
Anyways! So close to the long weekend here, and I even took some extra days off to give myself a bit of a staycation. No better time to find new people to chat with! A bit about myself to get things going:
* Have my bachelor of commerce, majoring in accounting. So it should be no surprise that I currently work as an accountant. Currently living in interior BC, with hopes that one day I can go to Vancouver.
* History is one of my favourite subject interests. Basically I just want to learn it all, regardless of time period or place. So if you have any good recommendations for well researched and sourced books, please let me know! Another lesser one is geology and paleontology, just really like rocks I guess. Still have my childhood collection.
* Speaking of books, I have loved reading since I was young. Love it so much, I can stay up until 2am getting immersed in my book, which doesn't really help too much with work the next day. Recently I have started to read 30 - 45 minutes before bed to help unwind before I attempt to sleep.
* Gaming is one of my main hobbies to fill my time when the weather isn't nice or I have nothing else to do. Personally I think gaming is best done with friends, so always done to play most things with people. For my solo tastes, I do enjoy RPGs and strategy/simulation type games the most. Basically anything with a good story or that gives me the ability to create ones myself.
* When the weather is nice, and not winter, I love to go hiking and for long walks. Hopefully this upcoming spring and summer will be less smoke filled than last year. Would love to get into photography some day so I can capture all the scenic sights I see. Currently trying to get better at working out consistently, have been pretty good in the past but have fallen through a bit since I've moved.
* Music is a big part of my life, and if my ear isn't taken by something I usually have it playing. I would say my preferred genres tend to be alt and indie rock. That being said, if I enjoy a song I will usually add it to my playlist, and check out the artist and similar songs to see if I can find others I will enjoy. Always love hearing about why a person loves a song, and am more than happy to exchange songs!
* Love to cook and bake, and somewhat decent at it too! Always looking for new recipes to try. Usually I get them down after a few tries, well they are edible at least
* I think I am decently humourous, I am able to make my co-workers and friends laugh quite a bit. Really I just want everyone to have a good time in the end and try my best to make it happen.
* Communication is one of the things I value the most. Would love to find someone who is efficient as well, as I truly believe it is key to growing any sort of relationship.
I can be quite an open book and love talking to people, so if this interests you in all feel free to reach out!
submitted by Pydras to r4r [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 22:33 looloothethird Advice pls. My (F22) Partner (M43) smokes... a lot. How do i go about starting a conversation with him where he doesn't end up guilt-tripping me?

Advice? I feel like i am being unreasonable and maybe controlling?
I've been with my current partner now for over a year, i got pregnant pretty early on and am due at the end of next month.
its pretty hard these days to tell if i'm overreacting as a result of my hormones being crazy because of pregnancy, or if i'm justified in my frustrations.
My issue is as follows: I was aware he smoked weed when we got together, but he hid it quite well and seemed to be able to go without it for long periods of time without seeming to become stressed etc without it. What I'm saying is basically in the beginning he didn't seem dependent on it at all. I personally don't smoke because it makes me disassociate for quite some time afterwards, and i don't feel like it is worth such an uncomfortable side-effect for me.
Cut to only a few short months into our relationship.. he smokes probably 4-6 spliffs a day (mixed with tobacco). When i say "a day" i mean literally every single day, without tolerance breaks. If he hasn't had a smoke by around 4pm he starts to become extremely stressed out and snappy. This obviously limits what we can and can't do together as a couple when we go out, as we have to be back by a certain time so that he can smoke.
it's super hard not to internalise this and blame myself for this. He said he wanted a baby from the moment we got together, so i don't think he is stressed about that. if anything, i thought me being 1 month away from giving birth to our child would make him WANT to cut back.
His ex partners seem say he was the exact same way with them too, so i don't think its something I've done.. but still, it is extremely hard to not blame myself for it. i find myself wondering if i am 'too much" or if he even loves me at all and uses weed as a crutch so that he can tolerate me...
i feel guilty coming to reddit to ask for advice, as it feels sneaky like i am going behind his back.. but i have tried (through many tears) to ask him to cut back, and why he feels he needs to smoke so much. But he kind of just guilt trips me by saying he has a lot going on with his family etc which makes me feel bad for even having a problem with his smoking habits in the first place.
I also have a lot of issues of my own because my family aren't very supportive. ( I live a fair distance away from them, like 90 miles away) and since becoming pregnant, these feelings have worsened and i just don't feel I'm being listened to or getting the emotional support that I need. I always find time to listen to his problems, and talk them through and make him feel valued etc... but when he is high it's like talking to a brick wall.. we just aren't on the same wave length, and i just need him to compromise instead of guilt-tripping me by saying i'm taking away the only thing that calms him down.
Edit: So after a lengthy conversation about how this is all affecting me, he says he hears me and will change but only 20 minutes later he is rolling his next spliff and now I am just sat here wondering why I even bother talking about my feelings.
submitted by looloothethird to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 22:33 Veporyzer IWTL how stop craving dopamine when stressed/sad?

When I’m at a low point, I always crave dopamine. I used to smoke whenever I felt stressed or sad, but I started to quit after I found out doomscrolling offered somewhat similar results, but basically for free. I realised that I wasn’t really addicted to cigarettes, but rather to the instant dopamine/distraction they gave me.
Even though doomscrolling is a MUCH healthier option, it still doesn’t solve the problem. It distracts me from studying, or from figuring out why I’m sad. At least I was able to think/study while smoking.
I want to be able to cope in a healthier way, because neither is desirable.
submitted by Veporyzer to IWantToLearn [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 22:32 Positive-Fact3285 It's always them vs me.

I, 33f, am married, 34m, with a SD12 almost 13. I've been in her life for 5 years and s only refers to me as mom because BM is not in the picture. I work a full time job and support the family while hubby is a stay at home dad and homeschools due to some mental health issues and no support from school around us.
This week I'm on vacation from work. I feel like it's been a decent week. I make dinner every night and have leftovers. This morning my hubs was hungry and I asked SD to go heat up some leftovers for her and dad. She came back with "why can't you do it?" Now in the past this Child has literally told me I'm lazy and do nothing but sit on my butt. She hasn't said that this week but she's made remarks about me doing stuff when I ask her to do something. I already did her chore the other day of loading the dishwasher bc I was tired of dirty dishes. So I told her I haven't had caffeine and I'm not hungry and i contribute to this household. She rolled her eyes and I just got up and did it. Well mom snapped and I was hollering about how I'm tired of being disrespected and her little digs at me when I literally pay her way through life.
Anywho after that my hubs came at me saying I always start fights with her and why do I always do that. I said I think its been a pretty good week and I've bit my tongue quite a bit trying to avoid the fight to which husband responded with "oh I see your in a mood to fight. I'm done talking"
I feel like it's always them vs me. I'm tired and I just hate this feeling.
submitted by Positive-Fact3285 to stepparents [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 22:31 BugNovel 10 years hard nicotine addict. Quitted in my most stressfull portion of life!

I am dentist from Turkey, 25Male. I started smoking at 15 and quit at my age of 25! I graduated from university 2 years ago. In Turkey there is an exam for dentists to be expertise in any subject. Which is called DUS. One of the hardest exams in Turkey. You study 8-12 hours with chronometer. From morning to night like 1-2 years and you compete with other dentist in your country. And I started to study for it. The thing is I woke up at 6 in the morning everyday and I studied till I sleep. The subjects are too complex. You sit on a chair whole day (it had been 3 months and I still have chronic neck and back pain. Having physiotherapy for it :(. You are in a room for all day/ whole week. No socialisation. And you are always stressful cause you know you are compiting with other nerds who studies 12 hour a day etc. Anxiety, depression, loneliness any kind of bad feeling is in this shit. After a point it feels like hell. You have idea of what was my situation.
I only had two things. One was to study, other one was to smoke. My only prize was to smoke after a long studying sessions. I was someone already who had a huge smoking addiction. I wouldn't just smoke ciggarete. I would inhale with all of my lungs till tobacco burns like volcano. If you are addicted enough you know what I mean :). And this Exam thing put me in a very bad situation. I went from smoking 1 packet to 2 packets. I wouldn't think anything other than ciggaratte. I would snatch the filters of my ciggarettes to inhale nicotine better. Imagine how addicted I was to that shit.
And it was like 3 months till the exam. My most stresfull days were came. And I had huge cough attacks. I was lying my parents about my coughs. I would always say them I got flu or something :) I knew it was ciggaratte that was giving me cough attacks. But I was lying to myself. Never accepted it but Ciggaratte was already cursed me. I had other symptoms of COAH too. (whizzling, shortness of breath etc.)
One day I just ended my studying session for the day. I got into the bed and was coughing like hell. I was mentally drained. I was the most unhappy person in the earth. I had no morals to live. I was crying to myself about Exam. I had already lost my health. I had nothing in my hands. I was going to smoke because I felt sad. and I just said to myself. I wasnt going to be a victim. I had enough. I was going to fight myself. Just got on my computer and wondered how people on earth quits smoking? I googled it up and bumped on a post at reddit about allen carr. In first I thought it was a bullshit or something. I found it funny to quit smoking just by a book. How could it be possible? And I thought I had nothing to lose and read the book till half that night. Had a half pack of ciggarette. Threw it in thrash can. It was never on my mind to quit smoking. But it just happened and in the morning I was a person who was trying to quit smoking. First 3 days gone hard. Everytime I felt withdrawals I said to myself "You see what does this poison do to you, This is a fucking dope. And this withdrawals proves such a toxic thing it is!" So everytime I had withdrawals I thought that this shit was a dope and it was evil. But after 3 days I just realized I was good with it. I was feeling much better. next week I started to run and do sports . While I was studying I would give myself a 1hour break in the middle of the day. And would go to run or to play soccer. I couldnt believe to myself. Just in 1 week I was breathing again. Life was colourfull again. and days gone like these. now I am a person who plays soccer, who runs in his freetime, goes to gym etc. ( I would be breathless if I had walked from my home to market when I smoked.)
And There is one very important I want to say to people. I wish I had know how easy was it to quit smoking. Whole media, market, internet is planned to teach people it is "Hard to quit smoking". This Idea is engraved in every person's brain by media. I remember from my childhood till this day. Every body told me about how hard it is to quit smokking. Every commercial, every elder person I know, every friend(Even the non-smokers think it is very hard to quit smoke). It is all bullshit! QUITTING SMOKING IS EASY! Don't be afraid! Don't be coward! It is freaking easy! That is it. Media traps you in that idea "to Quit Smoking is Hard". Just know that idea is bullshit. And give a try to quit smoking! I Will be try to active and reply if you have any questions. Just believe in yourself! Nothing is bigger than you.
submitted by BugNovel to stopsmoking [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 22:26 javiarthepoolboy Hey got a question

So I’m trying to quit smoking nicotine & I’ve gone 3 days (while on nicotine gum) my brother bought me a cigar for some reason and at first I ignored it but because I didn’t have any nicotine gum at my disposal I eventually folded. I have mixed emotions about it, part of me feels like I let myself down & the other part of me feels like it’s okay to be used as a (rare) crutch because the overall big picture is to stop smoking as much as I normally would in a 24 hour window day to day, so at the end of the day with the cigar it’s only a temporary crutch to eventually not smoke anything at all for 1-3 months before I can drop the habit all around. I’d love some insight.
submitted by javiarthepoolboy to stopsmoking [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 22:18 LooneyLunaGirl How to know if my G. Pulchra's fangs are hard

How to know if my G. Pulchra's fangs are hard
I have a G. Pulchra sling that just molted and has finally emerged after a little over a month of hiding in its log. I'm not quite sure when technically it got done molting, but I have seen it fully just once and it looks completely dark and black. However, I have been unable to see its fangs and it's so small I don't even know if I could. It's about a little bigger than the size of a quarter but I don't want to stress it out. I'm sure it's hungry I just don't want to have it get hurt. Pic of my fuzzy baby before molting.
submitted by LooneyLunaGirl to tarantulas [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 22:18 Wild-Nectarine-8989 Can you help me?

I am struggling to quit smoking. I am Smoking for over 4 months now. I usually Smoke 15 sticks the first 2 and a half month. now i only smoke 5-8 a day average. I am an Athlete and don’t see the effects on me yet but i am worried about my future. I smoke because that is only my coping when i am battling my depression. Any tips? Thanks
submitted by Wild-Nectarine-8989 to stopsmoking [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 22:15 Far-Preparation-795 AITA for telling my MIL that she's useless when she was "helping" me with the baby?

I've been struggling lately, as I have a 2mo who is cluster feeding, colicky and hasn't been sleeping much. My husband has already exhausted his monthly sick days so he can't be of much help. But I haven't been eating properly either because I'm just always trying to soothe the baby and then when she finally goes to sleep, I'm exhausted and food is the last thing on my mind. My home is also a wreck right now. My husband does help when he's home but typically he's only helping with the baby and neither of us are able to get to the chores aspect of things (dishes or laundry). My husband was talking to his mom about everything and she offered to come over and help with the baby so I could take a nap, shower and eat. I accepted her offer, despite me having my doubts. She has only held the baby once (has no interest). I got along with this woman BEFORE I got pregnant. But after I did get pregnant, she kind of changed. She became one of those "boy mom's" that everyone talks about. Basically trying as hard as physically possible to get my husband out of the house or like.. started buying him stupid expensive things because "you won't be able to spoil yourself for a long time so you deserve it". Like, literally bought him a $900 watch (he doesn't wear watches).
Anywho, she shows up this morning around 10am. Takes the baby and says "run along and start the laundry". Okay? So I just go do the laundry because really, it needed to be done. But then she walks in the bathroom while holding the baby, who was now screaming, and telling me how to do my husband's laundry. I get one load in and she passes the baby back to me, saying "my arms are tired". So she had the baby maybe 7 minutes. I go nurse the baby and get her down for a nap. I tell MIL I'm going to take a shower and baby is sleeping. I'm in the shower not even 3 mins before MIL straight up walks in with my baby undressed and hands her to me in the shower. Says "she woke up and figured she needs a bath anyways, she's got stinky ears" and walks out, leaving the door wide open. I finish up and go out to find her asleep sitting up on my couch. She wakes up around 2 and I'm honestly peeved because I felt like I had to be extra quiet so I didn't wake her for HOURS while I'm already struggling (she's a complete bitch when she's woken up). She takes the baby and I tell her I'm going to make myself something to eat. I don't offer her anything because she already had a sandwich.
Well, I just made myself some spicy noodles. I had just put it in the bowl when my MIL comes in to the kitchen with the baby crying and says "I can't calm her down. She needs a doctor's appointment or something." And hands her back to me. Then she quite literally takes my bowl and says "you going to eat all that?" But she took the fork and took a bite before I could even grab it back or answer. I'm absolutely repulsed at this point and pissed because I'm hungry, I was really craving the noodles AND it was my last package. I was visibly pissed. She asked what was wrong and I said "maybe the fact that you're fucking useless and have made my day ten times harder than it had to be and you just put your lips on my fucking fork. But hey, at least you ate and slept today." My husband had just come home so he heard what I had said and asked what was going on. I gave him the run down and I'm just crying at this point. She said that the day didn't play out the way I claimed and that I'm being overdramatic over a "cat nap" and her taking a "small bite" of my food and says she didn't have to help me at all. I screamed at her and said "you didn't fucking help me with anything!" And went in to my room with the baby, locking the door behind me. My husband literally texted me from the living room and said that his mother was old (62), had left crying and that I owe her an apology. AITA?
submitted by Far-Preparation-795 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 22:11 xoobrandy Leak and overheating

About 2 months ago, my 2006 G35, while sitting still at a drive thru, went from the normal temp all the way past the max line in seconds, with smoke everywhere and coolant started leaking from the bottom of my car severly and from the cap. i obviously cant drive it. im just wondering what couldve happened, how much repair may be? should i just sell it? im a college student and im limited of funds. i also have a small oil leak, but that hasnt been an issue. i just repaired the alternator a month before all this so im quite upset. ive had terrible luck w cars, my first the whole rim and tire fell off while driving, and my second was hit by a deer and totalled, both within 6 months of having them. this is the first car ive had for over a year, im heartbroken and i just dont know what to do. any insight is helpful please, thank you.
submitted by xoobrandy to G35 [link] [comments]


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