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2024.05.16 09:28 haygurlhay123 “This Time, I Will Never Let You Go”: Cloud’s Mission and the Hidden Purpose of the Remake Trilogy - Literary and Musical Analysis of FFVII - Part 3

“This Time, I Will Never Let You Go”: Cloud’s Mission and the Hidden Purpose of the Remake Trilogy - Literary and Musical Analysis of FFVII - Part 3

~III. e) The~ ~Mobius FF x FFVII~ ~collaboration~
Alright, back to our suspension world-hopping! Let’s visit the realm of Mobius FF, —more specifically, the collaboration between Mobius FF and FFVII—, where I found the most substantial evidence for my theory.
In case you’re unfamiliar with the Mobius FF (MFF) world and games, let’s begin with a bit of a summary of the parts relevant to us. The story takes place in a world called Palamecia, to which people from other worlds are inexplicably summoned. The vast majority of those who are brought there don’t remember anything from their worlds of origin or their lives before Palamecia except their names: these amnesiac people are called Blanks. The main character is Wol, accompanied by a guiding fairy of Palamecia named Echo. Echo knows a lot about the mechanisms of Palamecia, as she’s tied to the realm. The leader of this world is Vox, a being who manifests only as a voice. The first thing all Blanks remember before they wake in Palamecia is Vox telling them the rules of the realm. Incidentally, the crystals of the MFF world are teleportation crystals.
~III. e) i. Devs’ Statements~
Let’s review some of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration devs’ statements before diving into its story.
For both the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration and the Remake project, Kitase took on the role of producer while Nojima supervised the screenplay and wrote the scenario. The project leader was none other than the Remake trilogy’s Hamaguchi, who told a SE interviewer the following:
“We would love for you to play the [MFF x FFVII] collaboration event as you look forward to [Remake’s] release” (“Celebration of the Overseas Release of the Steam Version and FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE Collaboration Event”, Square Enix).
He later hints at the collaboration’s storyline:
“This collaboration is focused on Cloud, so the other characters will not make an appearance. Players will join Cloud, who has gone astray in Palamecia, on his adventures and see how the story unfolds based on his decisions. Content-wise, FINAL FANTASY VII fans will surely become fraught with emotion as events unfold in-game (laughs).”
Kitase concurs on the emotional aspect of the collaboration in the same interview:
“When it comes to the story, I seek two things– ‘mystery’ and ‘[…] emotional impact’.”
Clearly, fans of FFVII are supposed to react emotionally to the events of the collaboration. With these statements in mind to give us perspective, we can get into the plot points relevant to our analysis. MFF x FFVII Remake comes in two parts, the relevant plot points of which I will describe and analyze one at a time.
~III. e) ii.~ ~Eclipse Contact~
~1)~ ~Fact-Finding~
Part one of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration event is called Eclipse Contact. It came out in 2017 on Aerith’s birthday, February 7th, and its release campaign ran until March. In Eclipse Contact, Palamecia welcomes someone new: Cloud Strife appears in the realm with very little recollection of his core world of FFVII.
Cloud isn’t a Blank, since he recalls the mako reactors in Midgar upon his arrival in Palamecia, and also remembers that he was hired by Avalanche to blow them up:
“Echo: How did you end up in Palamecia?

Cloud: I… That day... I remember now. A job. I had taken a job. I was hired muscle protecting clients. They wanted to stop the reactor... We used a train to get past security... Was it at night? Something happened... Next thing I knew, I was floating through darkness. Then [I woke up here]”.
This piece of dialogue reveals that Eclipse Contact Cloud’s memories end at the very moment when Avalanche arrives at reactor 1 in OG (disk 1, chapter 1): the very beginning of the game. Consequently, Cloud does not remember anything that happened from the beginning of the OG timeline onwards.
Wol and Echo are intrigued by Cloud’s strange case: non-Blanks rarely arrive in Palamecia. The following text appears on the screen shortly after they meet:
“Perhaps he is not truly who he thinks he is.
Perhaps everything is illusory, a dream.
Only one thing is certain, that he must press on, one step at a time, toward the light that shines from the promised land.”
Just like he did in FFT’s Ivalice, Cloud feels the need to find the Promised Land in MFF x FFVII, despite the fact that he lacks memories of the OG timeline. Though Cloud doesn’t remember anything beyond the train ride to reactor 1, he does remember the Promised Land (at least somewhat). This is odd, given that in OG, Cloud didn’t learn about the Promised Land until several chapters into the game.
Wol and Echo agree to help Cloud figure out why he’s here, since there’s clearly something strange going on with his presence in Palamecia. In fact, Cloud brought Midgar’s mako reactors with him somehow, transplanting them onto the landscape of Palamecia. The group decides to bomb these reactors, following Cloud’s instincts in the hopes that it will jog his memory.
Now for my favorite part. After blowing up another reactor, the group is surprised by the appearance of a crystal. A piano rendition of Aerith’s theme begins. When Wol tries to touch the crystal, something akin to a force field rejects him. When Cloud approaches it, however, the crystal responds to his hand by flashing with light. As it begins to glow, Wol concludes that the crystal is linked to Cloud and Cloud alone. Let’s examine the resulting dialogue:
“Echo: This is the light in your memories. The light of home.

Cloud: Home? But I don’t—

Echo: If you don't remember… then your home is lost to you.

Cloud: Then my memories are gone.

Wol: Do you want to reclaim your past?

Cloud: Not interested... I am what I am now. Not what I was.

Wol: Then tell me… This light. If you can’t remember it, what does it mean to you?

Cloud: It's a warm light... I feel at peace. If this place —home— is as warm and peaceful as this light, then I want to go there.

Echo: You can't go there... Not back to the past.

Cloud: I see.

Echo: But even if you can't go back to the past, you can go forward. If you wish for it strongly enough, the crystal will show you the way. The way to a new world. The way to your Promised Land. […]

Cloud: So... Should [I] take [my] chances and make a wish to this crystal?

Wol: Go ahead. It’s your crystal.

Echo: I should warn you that once you start on this journey, there's no coming back.

Cloud: The past is the past. I want to go to a place where everything is new. I’m ready.“
What follows is a moment I call the wishing scene (13:43-14:34). Cloud closes his eyes and wishes on the crystal. It flashes, and suddenly, rainbow-colored ripples of light appear around it. Aerith’s theme is replaced by a slightly modified version of “Midgar, City of Mako”, the track that plays during the opening cutscene of Remake. You can recreate the modification by listening to “Midgar, City of Mako” from 2:00 to 2:23, then skipping to 3:00 and listening until 3:18. You may recognize the musical motif that kicks off the wishing scene as the Lifestream motif, which has become symbolic of the mysteries of the Remake trilogy, as it often plays during scenes where unexplainable plot deviations from OG occur— more specifically, deviations involving multiverse shenanigans. For instance, it plays during MOTF 4. It also plays in Rebirth after Cloud blocks masamune as Aerith is shown dying anyway.
Cloud disappears with his crystal, after which Echo speaks to Wol about Cloud’s journey:
“Echo: Each person gets the Promised Land they justly deserve, not the one they really need. If you’re a bad person, you go to a bad place. If you expect nothing, you get nothing. Even the journey there makes you look deep within yourself to find out who you really are. Cloud should be facing his own past as we speak. It’s cruel, but necessary. That battle was a long time coming”.
Apparently, at least in the context of this collaboration event, the Promised Land can be a reward or a punishment, depending on which you deserve. Echo explains that Cloud will have to face himself and his past on his way to his Promised Land. This means that the Cloud that appears in Eclipse Contact must next embark on a journey that will confront him with his past, test his mettle, and ultimately lead him to the Promised Land he justly deserves.
~III. e) ii. 2) Fact Analysis~
There’s a lot of vital information to dig into here, mostly provided by Echo. She claims that the crystal’s light is linked to Cloud’s memories of home; Cloud has to have known this home in the past, as it could not otherwise exist in his memories. MFF Cloud must be a post-OG Cloud. Unfortunately, Echo indicates that whatever Cloud’s home is, he’s lost both it and his memories of it. Despite this, Cloud describes his home as warm and peaceful, concluding that he wishes to find it. Though Cloud can’t return to the past, Echo tells him that if he wishes it strongly enough, the crystal can guide him toward a new world, where his home and his Promised Land exist in the future. The fact that Aerith’s theme is playing all throughout these descriptions of Cloud’s lost home, his Promised Land and the past that he can’t return to makes it extremely obvious that these concepts all point to Aerith. Aerith is Cloud’s lost home. Wherever Aerith is, that’s his Promised Land. The time spent with Aerith before her loss is the past he tragically can’t return to. You might have clocked the similarities between Eclipse Contact’s mention of Cloud’s lost home and DFF’s mention of Cloud’s lost dream: in both these titles, Cloud’s home and dream are equivalent to his Promised Land. It’s confirmed yet again that Aerith is the one Cloud hopes to return to, just like every soul returns to the Lifestream. At this juncture of my research, I was curious as to why the last thing Cloud remembers before waking in Palamecia is the run-up to the Reactor 1 bombing mission in OG (disk 1, chapter 1). This mystery will have to persist for a while longer.
The alarm bells in your head might’ve been triggered by the mention of the wishing scene’s rainbow ripple effects— and rightfully so. This visual cue has sparked passionate debate in the fandom since its appearances in Rebirth, as seen in these pictures:
Zack Choosing To Get A Cure For Cloud, Rebirth Chapter 14; Creating a New World/Timeline
Aerith Pushing Cloud Out of that World/Timeline, Remake Chapter 14
Cloud Blocking Masamune, Rebirth Chapter 14; Creating New World/Timeline
You might have read or heard that this rainbow effect signifies that a character has entered another timeline, created a portal to another timeline, created a new timeline or is being shown different timelines. Indeed, whenever the OG timeline is deviated from in a significant way, this effect appears. The pictures above present multiple examples of these shifting realities.
One might propose that the rainbow ripples in Eclipse Contact and Rebirth are unrelated because of the long period between their respective release dates. This long in-between period indeed makes it likelier that the effect was used without forethought in Eclipse Contact, forgotten over the years, and incidentally reused in Rebirth as a plot-important visual cue with no connection to Eclipse Contact. I’m inclined to disagree since the crystal is specifically described as a vessel that can take Cloud “to a new world” by Echo, which is a bit on the nose. Regardless, it’s plausible that there’s no connection. That is, it would be, if the rainbow effect didn’t show up in Remake too.
When the Whispers are finally defeated in chapter 18 of Remake, a burst of the rainbow ripple effects indicate the emergence of multiple worlds, newly freed from the restrictive clutches of fate (1:16:36-1:16:47). Shortly thereafter, Sephiroth takes Cloud to the Edge of Creation and invites him to join forces with him. Cloud refuses, and Sephiroth says the following:
“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it? Let's see.”
The question “What will you do with it?” implies that the answer is unknown, meaning Cloud is no longer bound to the OG timeline by fate: many alternate futures lay ahead. Sephiroth is telling Cloud and the audience that now, the mystery of the Remake trilogy has become “Which future will Cloud bring into existence? Which among the infinite possible timelines will his choices result in?” After pondering this aloud, Sephiroth leaves Cloud alone to consider the rainbow effects in the sky (1:19:23-1:19:36). Because they generally represent alternate or changing timelines, it’s safe to assume that the rainbow ripples here represent the myriad of possible worlds that Cloud’s actions in those seven seconds could generate. After all, Sephiroth was just talking about them, and chapter 18’s description in Remake reads as follows:
“In a world beyond, Sephiroth shows Cloud a vision of the planet seven seconds before its demise. Having strayed from the course destiny set for them, they strike out on a path towards an unknown future."
This explains why the player is shown Cloud staring at those colors in the apocalyptic sky at world’s end, directly after hearing Sephiroth’s cryptic words: those are all the alternate “unknown future” timelines ahead of him, now unravelled from fate. Amongst those rainbow ripples lies the answer to the question “What will you do with [the seven seconds]?”
Given that Remake was released in 2020 and Eclipse Contact came out in 2017, the major story elements of the Remake trilogy —including the eventuality of alternate timelines— had to have been planned out at the time of Eclipse Contact’s release: while the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration was being made, Remake was also in production. Also recall that the collaboration event and the Remake trilogy share a codirector in Hamaguchi, a writer in Nojima and a producer in Kitase. Based on all this, it’s more than likely that the rainbow ripples in the Remake trilogy and inEclipse Contact represent the very same thing: alternate worlds and timelines. All this to say that when the rainbow effect appears around the crystal in the Eclipse Contact, it means the crystal is acting as a vessel to another world, just like Echo said.
But that’s not all Echo said: she also mentioned that this other world would take Cloud to his home, to his Promised Land. We’ve already established what that means for Cloud, what it’s meant since two whole decades at the time of Eclipse Contact’s release: this crystal will take Cloud to Aerith. So, where exactly did the crystal take Cloud? In what world can he meet Aerith again?
The music that plays during the wishing scene gives us a huge hint. As I noted before, the track playing in the background is a slightly modified version of Remake’s “Midgar, City of Mako”, which plays in the introduction cutscene of Remake. This is a musical cue that the ending of Cloud’s journey in Eclipse Contact and the very beginning of the Remake trilogy are closely related. Add the fact that the devs wanted players to experience this collaboration event before playing Remake, and it becomes undeniable: the crystal that appeared to Cloud in Palamecia —which offers to lead him to his home and Promised Land, meaning to Aerith—, took him to the world of the Remaketrilogy.
Eclipse Contact is huge. The whole crux of my theory lives and dies right here. However, we still have part two of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration event to analyze as well as its promotions to look into before I can drop the thesis on you, so bear with me in order to receive the most thorough analysis of all this possible! I want to give you every drop of proof I can!
~III. e) ii.~ ~MFF x FFVII Remake Fatal Calling~
~1) Fact-Finding~
Fatal Calling came out February 1 of 2018, and its release campaign ended in March. The game opens with a cutscene: Cloud is floating, seemingly unconscious, through a sparkling, green current of light. The current flows into a circle of bright, white light, surrounded by rainbow ripple effects as Cloud is driven toward and into it. An orb floats along with him. The Advent Children theme “The Promised Land” plays, a choir of mournful, aching, mutedly desperate souls engaged in a lamenting prayer. Sephiroth’s voice echoes:
“Sephiroth: It’s time. You may turn your back on the past, lock your memories away. Hide reality beneath a layer of illusion. But destiny will not die so easily. Yes. At memory’s end you may plead for it all to go away. But the past is a curse, binding your soul. It’s time. Wake to your fate. Rise to your destiny.

Cloud: (In a half-conscious grunt) Reunion…

Sephiroth: The light will lead you. Wake to your fate. Rise!”
Sephiroth’s mentions of Cloud hiding under an illusion and repressing his memories are no doubt allusions to Cloud’s past, which was complicated and darkened by Hojo’s experiments. It makes sense, then, that Cloud responds with “Reunion”. Fatal Calling indeed focuses on Cloud’s relationship to his past, his identity and Sephiroth. Everything involving Nibelheim —where everything started—, Sephiroth’s manipulation, and Hojo’s experiments are on the table. Also noteworthy if not out of place is Sephiroth’s evocation of fate.
Cloud enters a battle with Sephiroth with the help of Wol and Echo, who are surprised to see him back in Palamecia. Cloud tells them about the orb seen floating along with him in the opening cutscene: though he calls it a materia, he doesn’t know how or when he acquired it. Based on his behavior, it appears that Cloud remembers just as little about the events of OG as he did by the end of Eclipse Contact. Wol informs Cloud that whoever he heard speaking to him on his way here was probably Vox pretending to be Sephiroth.
As the group advances, Cloud recalls Midgar and decides they should go there next. At one of Midgar’s mako reactors, the group encounters Sephiroth, who speaks to himself:
“It's still not enough. This... this is but a pale imitation of the power I desire.”
Once Sephiroth has disappeared, Cloud explains what he remembers: Sephiroth was the greatest SOLDIER of all and a hero to Cloud, though Cloud can’t remember what exactly ended this admiration. As players of FFVII OG, we know the event in question is the Nibelheim incident, wherein Sephiroth slaughtered the town’s residents, including Cloud’s mother, after learning of his past. The former war hero also severely injured Tifa, whom Cloud presumed dead when he found her in the old mako reactor with a vicious slash on her chest. Cloud is agitated by the gaps in his memory, so the group resolves to follow Sephiroth for answers. When they find him again, Sephiroth causes Cloud to experience a piercing headache with the mere mention of the Reunion. They fight, but Sephiroth is too powerful— he skewers Cloud with the masamune and taunts his unconscious body:
“Sephiroth: A puppet. I won’t kill you. Not yet. Not until you know true despair.
Wol: If you want despair, we got plenty to go around. Palamecia’s full of it.
Sephiroth: Yes, this planet knows suffering. But it is not the world that was promised to me. I must go home. Tell Cloud, if he wants to see me again, he should face his memories. I will await him there, in the land of memory, where it all began. In Nibelheim.”
Sephiroth darkens Cloud’s materia, turning it black. Later, Wol explains to Cloud that Sephiroth stole the light from his materia, taking Cloud’s strength along with it.
Once Cloud has woken up, the group travels to Nibelheim to uncover the truth about Cloud’s memories. Cloud slowly gathers pieces of his past, shown to the player as titled, diary-like text written from various perspectives. Cloud learns the truth about SOLDIER, Jenova cells, Sephiroth, and what happened in Nibelheim. Let’s examine a few of these diary entries:
“A Warrior’s Tale: There's a girl in Nibelheim I think about. Warm. Cheerful. More grown-up than a child. Haven't talked to her much, but she seems nice. She's going to be leading the SOLDIERs to the mountain reactor. Maybe if I get into the survey team I'll get a chance to talk to her? Nah. She's out of my league.”
Young Cloud’s crush on Tifa is on full display! This must be a memory from his time as an infantryman accompanying Zack and Sephiroth to Nibelheim.
“Tale of the Nameless: I drift along in the mako, asleep. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Give me a number. I… I… I am… The Reunion. The Reunion must happen.”
This entry could be taken from any one of the Nibelheim survivors’ perspectives, as they were all bathed in mako and turned into Sephiroth clones. I would venture to say this is Cloud’s perspective though, given the reference to this iconic line from OG:
“Cloud: Professor... please give me a number. Please, Professor...
Hojo: Shut up, miserable failure.” (disk 2, chapter 2).
The trio encounters Sephiroth near the old Mt. Nibel mako reactor. Because Sephiroth stole the light from his materia earlier, Cloud goes into the confrontation already drained of his strength. However, when Cloud lifts the materia in his hand, it lights up and creates rainbow ripples in the air around him, similar to those seen in Eclipse Contact and Rebirth. Cloud is healed of his injuries: he closes his eyes for a moment, wearing a peaceful expression. Sephiroth is displeased, but recovers quickly:
“Sephiroth: The guiding light… it healed you.

Wol: […] here, near the mako reactor, the materia regained its light. And your strength returned […]. [Sephiroth]’s here so he can steal the power you've stored inside that materia.

Sephiroth, with a short laugh: I have all the power I need. Cloud. What strength you’ve regained is yours. Use it to fight me. It’s time. Let’s decide this, in this land lost to despair. The prize is home. The Promised Land. There to answer the call of destiny.”
With this second evocation of fate, Sephiroth disappears.
Cloud, Wol and Echo find Sephiroth at the Northern Crater. He mocks Cloud for believing the orb in his possession is materia. Sephiroth waves a hand and his signature black and purple fog surrounds Cloud, immobilizing him. Sephiroth claims that the power Cloud regained at the Mt. Nibel reactor was Sephiroth’s all along. Now that it courses through Cloud’s veins, Sephiroth controls him. He calls Cloud his puppet and finishes with the following before the two vanish, leaving Wol and Echo alone:

“Now, let us return. Back to the Promised Land. The time of the Reunion has come.”
After Cloud finally breaks free and defeats Sephiroth with the help of Wol and Echo, the villain makes a final threat:
“Very good, Cloud. You’ve destroyed an illusion. But the time will come to abandon your illusions and face reality. Then, you will know true pain.”

Sephiroth disappears for the last time, his body surrounded by his signature dark fog and the rainbow ripples. A piano rendition of Tifa’s theme begins. Cloud’s orb rises into the air and becomes a crystal, with the same shape and glow as the one we see in Eclipse Contact. The following dialogue is illuminating:

“Cloud: I will fight. The light will lead me where I need to go.

Wol: You sure? Wasn’t that [crystal] Sephiroth’s?

Cloud: I heard Sephiroth's voice, at the end. Inside me. Whatever he put in me, it’s still in there. Someday I’ll settle that score. If I can't avoid destiny, I might as well face it head-on.

Wol: Yeah. That was quite a speech, Cloud. Surprised you made it through without laughing.

Cloud: Yeah, forget I said it. I will too.

Echo: Forgetting won’t make it go away. Even if the words fade from memory, your dream will never disappear. Not until it becomes real.“

The crystal shines as though in response.

“Echo: See? See, that's how the light of hope works. Hope can turn your dreams into reality.

Cloud: Yeah. I guess so. I might forget this world, but I won’t forget hope. And my reality, that’s for me to live.”
Tifa’s theme ends. Cloud approaches the crystal, and disappears in a beam of blinding light. Once Cloud has vanished with the crystal, Aerith’s theme begins playing. A few pale feathers with a slight orange tint (the color of MFF) float down onto the floor where he stood seconds before. The image fades to black. The credits roll, and Aerith’s theme continues all the way through.
Once both the final name in the credits and Aerith’s theme fade, we’re surprised by a sudden, troubling image: Sephiroth appears in a frightening flash, standing amidst the flames of Nibelheim. When his image fades to black, the collaboration title “Final Fantasy VII x Mobius Final Fantasy”appears on the screen. The FFVII title is surrounded by the 1997 meteor logo. Then, a flash of light: the titles reappear, except this time, they read “Final Fantasy VII REMAKE x Mobius Final Fantasy”. The new Remake Meteor logo replaces the 1997 version. As soon as these changes to the FFVIItitle and meteor logo occur, Aerith’s theme returns. It plays on until the game ends a few seconds later, the screen fading to black.
~III. e) ii. 2) Fact Analysis~
The introduction cutscene shows that MFF Cloud travelled from Eclipse Contact to Fatal Calling via Lifestream. It’s unclear how much time has passed in between, but the atemporal nature of the Lifestream makes the question irrelevant. My theory that MFF Cloud has died is corroborated by the way he’s depicted in the opening cutscene: his eyes are closed and his body is limp as the Lifestream carries him.
Eclipse Contact ended with Echo’s claim that Cloud will face his true self and confront his past while he journeys to his Promised Land. This description resembles what Cloud experienced in the OG Lifestream sequence (disk 2, chapter 8). Indeed, Fatal Calling revolves around the same topics the Lifestream sequence addresses: the truth about the Nibelheim incident, Hojo’s experiments, young Cloud’s crush on Tifa, etc. The opening cutscene shows Cloud being transported to his Promised Land and facing his past on the way there, just like Echo said he would.
Let’s now take a long detour to examine the song that plays during the opening cutscene of Fatal Calling: “The Promised Land” theme from Advent Children. The title and general subject of this song are obviously relevant to the cutscene, but there must be more to its inclusion than that. Perhaps the lyrics can help us understand its appearance in the opening cutscene of Fatal Calling. Here are the unofficial English lyrics (translated from the original Japanese lyrics by an anonymous fan and verified by me via DeepL):
“Why do we cling together?
Why do we give punishment to lesser hearts?
The planet did not forgive us
Did not forgive us
The planet did not forgive us
Did not forgive us
The pulse of veins flows through the earth
A faint, faint pulse
Of a heart drawn to death
A gentle life returns to the planet
Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?
Why do we cling together?
Why do we beg for forgiveness
In the Promised Land?” (“‘The Promised Land’ (theme)” by Final Fantasy Wiki).
The song appears to be a regretful lament of human behavior, expressed by the repetition of “Why do we […]?” questions. The behaviors listed are all typically human ones: the terms “[clinging] together” and “[giving] punishment to [the] lesser” express the uniquely human nature of tribalism and the consequences of the fear and hatred it can generate, and “[begging] for forgiveness in the Promised Land” is likely a reference to the human hypocrisy of only feeling sorry for one’s crimes when judgement day arrives. This last line describes a scenario where someone remains passive or ignorant in the face of something important, only to realize its essentiality once it’s too late. The repeated“The planet did not forgive us” lines reflect the fear of being condemned forever because of one’s mistakes, as though the planet is a deity one has sinned against. The lyric describing a pulse in the earth is obviously about the planet being alive— a reference to the Lifestream. But the pulse is faint and weak and the planet is dying, perishing because of mankind’s greed. This is an indictment of mako energy. The line “A gentle life returns to the planet” refers to an innocent’s soul returning to the Lifestream after death, while the next lyric “Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?” protests the “sacrifice” of the planet’s soul energy for mako production. In all this darkness, this song’s mention of “forgiveness in the Promised Land” leaves a modicum of hope for a better place, however meek, even though mankind might not deserve it. The song “The Promised Land” is both a lament of mankind’s ways and a plea for mercy, with religious and/or spiritual undertones. The song’s themes seem to be: the Promised Land itself, regret and shame, the sins and foolishness of mankind, the death of innocents, grief, Cetra spirituality, and a meek, quiet hope despite it all. The most interesting aspect of the song is its antithetical portrayal of death as a thing of both despair and hope, condemnation and salvation, cruelty and mercy, suffering and relief. Maybe we can glean more information about this theme’s significance in the world of FFVII if we examine the contexts in which it appears.
Importantly, the song plays in Marlene’s introductory narration of Advent Children, meaning its themes are related or similar to the film’s. I highly recommend listening and watching it again, even if you remember this iconic segment. Marlene references Aerith’s sacrifice as the image of Cloud lowering her into the water is shown. Note that Marlene says “Sadness was the price to see it end” (2:36) after we are shown Aerith’s death and her subsequent unleashing of the Lifestream (1:49-2:24): Aerith’s innocent life was sacrificed for the planet’s survival. The lyrics “A gentle life returns to the planet” and “Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?” suit Aerith’s situation quite well.
The theme also plays in Advent Children as Kadaj dies in Cloud’s arms (1:45:00-1:47:55), hearing Aerith’s gentle voice and reaching up to take her invisible hand. Here is what Aerith says to him in his dying moments as “The Promised Land” plays:
“Aerith’s voice: Kadaj?

Kadaj: Huh?

The dark sky has gone with Sephiroth. Healing rain starts falling from bright clouds. The rain no longer hurts Kadaj.

Aerith’s voice: You don’t have to hang on any longer.

Kadaj: Mother! Is that…?

Aerith’s voice: Everyone’s waiting, if you’re ready.

Kadaj nods his head slightly in acceptance. He holds out his hand, and slowly evaporates into the Lifestream. Cloud watches […]” (Advent Children).

Kadaj is brought into the Lifestream by Aerith as she provides rain from the Lifestream. All those with geostigma are healed by the rain, and Tifa feels Aerith’s presence as the party celebrates:

“Tifa, looking out at the falling rain […]: Somehow, I knew you were there. Thank you” (Advent Children).

Cloud stands in the rain with a smile —his first in the whole film—, closes his eyes and basks in Aerith’s healing with his face upturned. He is finally at peace:

“Cloud’s expression is one of peace as the [Lifestream] rain patters against him” (Final Fantasy VII Advent Children English script, “[83] Atop the Shinra Building”).

One thing is clear: the track “The Promised Land” accompanies Aerith. It only makes sense, since we’ve seen overwhelming evidence that she is Cloud’s Promised Land, and since she occupies the Lifestream —which some consider the Promised Land as it is where souls go after death— during the events of Advent Children. Note that when the piece plays, Cloud is shown either mourning Aerith and releasing her into the river at the Cetra capital, or basking in her presence, smiling with relief at the peaceful feeling that she’s somewhere near: these two opposing scenes reflect the song’s antithetical portrayal of death.

Additionally, the song’s themes of regret, shame concerning one’s sins and a small hope perfectly describe Cloud’s character arc and feelings in Advent Children. Cloud regrets his inability to save Aerith, which he considers a sin. Further, he only realized how important she is to him once it was too late to tell her. And of course, he harbors a fragile yet important hope that he’ll be reunited with her in the Promised Land:

“‘Can sins ever be forgiven?’ — Cloud asks this to Vincent, who mutters a brief answer. For both of them, ‘I couldn't protect my loved one’ is the sense of guilt that they carry, so their words resonate with weight” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVIIWorld”, “Vincent Valentine”, “In Advent Children”, page 72).

"’It is my sin that I couldn't protect my loved one’ — under this assumption, Cloud closes off his heart. What will the reunion with Aerith bring him? ‘I... think I want to be forgiven. Yeah, I just want to be forgiven’” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVIIWorld”, “Cloud Strife”, “In Advent Children”, page 40).
“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.

Tifa: What?

Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Just as the song and Marlene express in the introduction of the film, Aerith was innocent, and her sacrifice generated great grief. Cloud finally experiences peace when he feels her presence in the healing rain, and he smiles: he’s glad to be with her again, even if it’s only for a brief moment of tangential respite.
The scene depicts Aerith guiding Kadaj into the Lifestream as the song plays, tying her to the concept and theme song of the Promised Land once more. This connection is later solidified by Tifa’s thanks to the late flower girl. All of this evidence shows us that this musical theme is intimately linked to Aerith, as it never plays in her absence. After all, the song speaks of sins, the death of innocents, forgiveness, grief, a small sense of hope, regret and the afterlife: all themes relevant to Cloud’s feelings surrounding Aerith’s death in and outside of Advent Children.
The Remake OST also includes a version of this piece called “The Promised Land - Cycle of Life”. This iteration of the theme begins playing in the wake of the first bombing mission, right after Sephiroth taunts Cloud with his mother’s dying words in Sector 8 (chapter 2). Sephiroth appears to Cloud surrounded by flames, evoking the Nibelheim massacre, and the theme begins playing in the background once he disappears, continuing (13:17-15:30) as Cloud walks through the sector, encountering fires and destruction all around him. This version of the Promised Land theme is meant to emphasize the deaths of the innocent Nibelheim townsfolk and the innocents in Sector 8. This dreadful atmosphere is amplified by the cries of despair that ring all around as Cloud passes by NPC Sector 8 residents. Perhaps the themes of tribalism and mankind’s sin are relevant to this scene as well, since Shinra and Avalanche are two distinct and warring groups whose quarrels, regardless of their necessity, result in the deaths of innocents. The theme of guilt also emerges, reflecting the Avalanche members’ feelings upon seeing the unintended collateral damage of the explosion. “The Promised Land - Cycle of Life” plays until Cloud encounters Aerith on Loveless. So it seems in this scenario, the heavy weight of death and despair is lifted when Cloud meets the lively, cheery Aerith. Once more, Aerith is central to the musical theme of the Promised Land, as well as to the concept itself.
I also noticed that a version of the song plays as Cloud and the party ready to enter the Forgotten Capital to save Aerith in Rebirth’s chapter 14: it truly adds the weight of her upcoming death to the scene.
Back to Fatal Calling, the scene where Cloud regains his strength is quite mysterious. Wol says Cloud’s orb regained its “guiding light” light because of its proximity to the mako reactor. In the moment his strength is replenished, Cloud is shown tilting his head back and closing his eyes: this is reminiscent of the scene in Advent Children when he stands under Aerith’s healing Lifestream rain, feeling at peace. The rainbow ripples shining from the orb indicate that something is crossing the boundaries of worlds. Since the mako reactor pumps up the Lifestream, being near a reactor also means being physically near the Lifestream. This means Aerith’s spirit is within proximity. In my opinion, Aerith was able to heal Cloud from the Lifestream, just like in Advent Children. However, Aerith is not in Palamecia with him: her healing had to travel there through the Lifestream, transcending the boundaries of worlds, hence the rainbow ripples.
Let’s now address the appearance of Tifa’s character theme in Fatal Calling. Since Fatal Calling is all about discovering Cloud’s past in Nibelheim and then in Hojo’s lab, it makes lots of sense for Tifa’s theme to play as the crystal appears. In OG’s Lifestream sequence (disk 2 chapter 8), she’s the one there helping Cloud sort through his past instead of Wol and Echo. Cloud even picks up a piece of his childhood crush on Tifa in Fatal Calling as a shard of his memory. After all, this crush was the catalyst for him joining SOLDIER, and everything that transpired in consequence:

“Cloud: That was the first time I heard about Sephiroth. If I got strong like Sephiroth, then everyone might... If I could just get stronger... Then even Tifa would have to notice me” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).
Additionally, it’s fitting that her theme should begin right after Sephiroth speaks of “[abandoning] your illusions and [facing] reality”, considering that Cloud’s false persona was concocted by Jenova using Tifa’s mistaken impressions of Cloud:

“While being tended to by a station worker in the Sector 7 Slum train station, [Cloud] was reunited with Tifa, and using the abilities of Jenova’s cells, formed a new personality” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVII World, “Cloud Strife”, “Cloud Behavior Record, Compilation of FFVII”, page 40).

“(Image caption:) A new personality takes shape the moment he sees Tifa” (FFVII Story Playback, “Story Check: Tifa’s Flashback”).

“Tifa (to Cloud): Deep down, you're a pretty nice guy. Didn't see it when we were kids, but...” (Remake, chapter 14).

submitted by haygurlhay123 to cloudxaerith [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:28 addylymm Heat efficient build for 4k/60FPS

Based in the UK if it helps.
Starting to scope out parts for a budget-ish SFF console build that will hook up to my 4k 60Hz TV, key considerations are heat efficiency and budget.
This is where I've gotten to at the moment: https://uk.pcpartpicker.com/list/jzm9z6
In terms of case I'm eyeing up SFFtime's upcoming U-ITX but anything of similar size will work. Note I will be laying any case horizontal which probably complicates the cooling solution a bit more.
Questions on my mind are:
1) Is the 7600 going to be enough to drive the whole system? I'd like to stick to 65W TDP CPUs for heat management reasons so that rules out a lot of Ryzen X/X3D chips, should I also be considering Intel?
2) The MSI mobo is currently the cheapest B650i I can find here, but other suggestions would be appreciated.
3) In terms of GPU, at my budget the two main options I'm considering are the 4070 Super (either Inno3D Twin or FE) and the 7900GRE (ASRock Challenger) - planning to run games at a mix of Medium/High and being able to use upscaling (DLSS/FSR) where possible to beef up FPS when using RT would be helpful.
Thanks in advance!
submitted by addylymm to sffpc [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:27 Icy-Attention5367 Nexplanon - bleeding for 1.5yrs consistently

Hey there— I know what you’re thinking, why do I still have it in? Lol
Basically, despite taking my adderall as prescribed everyday for YEARS, for some reason I could never remember to take my birth control pills constantly everyday… which was scary for me as someone who is somewhat sexually active and I never wanted to put myself or my FWB at risk for pregnancy. I’ve heard terrible side effects about the shot like rapid weight gain, all over acne, etc. and the thought of an IUD freaks me out… I won’t try to explain it too much, if it’s sort of a sensory or just psychological thing, but I can’t consider it.
So, that led me to nexplanon after hearing mostly good things about it from my friends and family who have it. Some warned me about a couple months of bleeding and I accepted that, but never expected this. I got the implant early December of 2022, and have bled everyday since— so right at 1.5yrs/18mo. Every now and then I get a day or two of relief where it’s so light it’s border line spotting, but for the most part it’s heavy.
I’ve brought it up during my normal every 3 month checkups (who btw didn’t insert it, I had to find someone diff for that bc my practice didn’t do them) and none of my PCPs (practice has gone thru like 3 in the last year) have seemed concerned. I mostly get answers like, “well that’s a long time but it’s different for everyone”. I mean, I know it is diff for everyone but… damn… I’ve not heard of ANYONE bleeding consistently for that long on it.
At the end of the day, I’d rather have it in and be inconvenienced by the bleeding since the heaviness is varying at least and not be pregnant, than take it out and be forgetful with the pill. However, if these symptoms are an actual cause for real concern and it’s fucking my body up in an unknown way— then I’d bite the bullet and take it out.
Has anyone had a similar experience? If so, did ANY doctor tell you that it wasn’t normal, explain risks of bleeding that long, or insist on taking it out? If there is some critical info I’m missing that my doctors don’t know or are too lazy to look up, then I’d love to know about your experience if it is similar and can offer some perspective. TIA! 🫶🏼
submitted by Icy-Attention5367 to birthcontrol [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:23 bakuqovs AITAH for being tired of friends asking for rides

I (F20) have known how to drive for 3 years, and I'm fortunate enough to have consistent access to a car. I'm in a friend group of mainly non-drivers. Nick (M19), Charlie (M20), and Evan (M19). Out of us, only Charlie & I can drive with our own cars, in a suburb where driving is necessary.
The other day, Nick claimed he wanted to show us his new car, an older Range Rover, and we could hangout. I had no problem with this, and agreed to go.
Nick picked up Evan and Charlie then proceeded to tell everybody to get into my car, which I had not agreed to, and we'll find a plan. I walked away to the grocery store and told them to figure it out by the time I walk back to Charlie's place. It turned out Nick told Charlie he must drive, and I was in the wrong. However, I was never informed I'd be driving after Nick showed us the car. I didn't spend more than 15 mins in the store.
Charlie & I decided the plans for the day, and he was upset he was forced to drive, but agreed Nick was unreasonable in being very literal on showing us the car and figuring out the plan from there.
AITAH for not agreeing to drive us? If there was no plan, and the only indication I had I'd be driving was a vague "I'll show you the car and we'll leave," I believe Nick should've drived. He claimed he wouldn't because his mom wanted him to return the car, and he'd be in big trouble otherwise; Charlie wishes Nick paid gas and I'm starting to think I'm blowing this out of proportion. I haven't spoken to Nick since, even though the group calls every night typically.
I had approached Nick about being upset on the car ride back, to which he got defensive and said I didn't understand having a strict mother, and I should be glad Charlie agreed so we didn't need to cancel. I just want Nick to take ownership as an adult and make plans thoroughly and clearly, as Charlie and I typically do. How can I rationalize this enough to get back to being involved in the group?
submitted by bakuqovs to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:23 MedicalMarvel69 How do you give up without giving up?

I want to have children, I want to buy a home, I want to work my job, I want to live healthy, I want to not step on others to make all that happen. It is impossible at this day and age to do all of them, maybe not even half at the same time.
The water we drink is poisoned. Whether it's waste legally dumped from factories making untested chemicals, or from the pipes it flows through or from the containers we drink from, it doesn't seem like you can drink untainted water.
Our food is poisoned. Whether it's the untested chemicals put into it to make it last longer, taste better, become more addictive and become cheaper, or from the chemicals known to cause health issues, sprayed on it to keep bugs off. If we are talking about meat, factory farmed livestock is given plastic to eat, pumped with hormones to grow bigger and faster, and all that's without getting into the torture of their short lives in the dark with no room to move, living in their own excrement.
Our shelter costs more than ever in American history, not just to own, but to borrow. Broken homes are being sold for what more than half the population could afford to "buy." Buy is a loose word because over 3/4ths of Americans live Paycheck to paycheck. We don't have money to "buy" anything. We have to borrow money from institutions that have crashed our economy, in order to hopefully, eventually own one of these broken homes. If you borrow shelter (rent), you are at the mercy of your landlord, almost guaranteed to have the rent go up every year and lose your down payments when you move out. If you refuse to buy or borrow, wherever you stay is likely illegal and the country is working on making it a crime to sleep outside. You will be productive, whether is by "choice" or in prision.
Our environment is poisoned. The air you breathe, the water you swim in, the ground you grow crops in, is it safe? Have you gotten it tested? Sure there are "acceptable" levels of everything, but who is it acceptable to? The people living in it or the people polluting it? Can you go for a swim at your nearest beach without getting tar balls stuck to your clothing or your dogs fur from the multiple offshore oil rigs crowding the sunset view? I can't. Can you swim in the lake or pond nearest to you? I can't, and I cannot find a specific reason, but I'm sure it has something to do with the water cooling the Power plant located there. Somehow the fish have been cleared as acceptable to eat though. If you can't find somewhere to swim, you better find a way to cool down because this summer will be the hottest on record until next summer and so on. You sure you want to live in the hottest parts of the country right now? Will they be habitable in a few years? Will even the poisoned water be available to drink?
Our medical care is so expensive we either don't have it or are so afraid to use it for fear of bankruptcy. Insurance companies are constantly denying payment for basic medical needs and death causing events. Cancer will kill you and if it doesn't, the bill at the end will make you wish you died instead. Even if you wanted to try and pay for it yourself, the insurance industry has cause basic services to sky rocket in price, it's impossible. A 15 minute checkup is $400 out of pocket at the medical office nearest me. That does not include the blood work they send you to a different facility for, or any other xrays, medicine or general care you may need otherwise.
Our jobs are so level locked that if you've got no education, you'll make enough that the government will assist you with some needs like food. Your community has been trained to judge you for it, thinking you're cheating the system because you don't want to work, when in reality it's whichever corporation your working for, actively gaming the system so they can keep their labor costs as cheap as possible. If you've got some education, you're probably living to work. Yeah you only make what minimum wage SHOULD be, but if you work 80 hours every week,, you might be able to pull off a lower middle class life style. With some education, you might even be able to sneak into a 9-5 where you don't have to work as many hours, but you're still not making enough to meet every basic need. If you have higher education, you might be doing alright, or you might be unable to find a job, while stuck in nonexpiring, crippling debt. Maybe you're somewhere in between. And even if you've got a great job... is it safe? Did the shareholders make enough so that there won't be a massive round of layoffs this quarter? Did the right political candidate get elected so the field you do isn't shut down until the opposite party gets back into power?
Not every American is in this position, there are lucky ones who come from enough money that they'll never know struggle, never know food/wateshelteHealthcare insecurity. But the one thing that is STILL unavoidable, the one thing EVERYONE must participate in is stepping on others to live day to day. Everyday, we interact, see, touch, feel usel a product that was made with questionable labor, if not outright slave labor and human suffering. From the people mining the basic materials to create products, to the people working the factories that products are produced in, to you neighbor that works at the shipping facilities to get it to you, the whole line is corrupted and meant to squeeze the absolute most out of the workers operating everything. The threat of losing even more of the basic needs keeps you in line, if not threat of physical and emotional torture.
I am only smart enough to see the things that are wrong in the world and recognize that it is unsustainable, but I'm too dumb to solve any of it and convince others to help.
So how do we give up without giving up? How do we get rid of our morals and act like everything is fine? How do we continue on feeling good about the systems we have in place, knowing there is so much suffering involved? How do I make a concious decision to bring another human life into this world, to experience what Im experiencing, but for it to be so much worse by the time they can recognize it? It seems that there is no way to change everything and we are headed towards inevitable collapse, so how the hell do we enjoy the ride that's left? I see people do it everyday. Not doing it is pure depression and I am so exhausted from being depressed.
submitted by MedicalMarvel69 to doomer [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:22 kitchenthingssss Artistic/alternative/experimental things to do and see in prague and cheapest places to crash

Hey! I'm going to Prague between the 5th and 8th of June and I'm looking for things to do. I had a thing with someone from there so I wasn't worried about much since I would spend most of my time with her and she knew the places to go but now I kind of need help ahahah. She was a painter and I'm a 23yr old sound designesound artist so this gives you an idea of what I would be interested in visiting/doing, also age wise. I know the meet factory has cool events but that's pretty much all I know.
So yeah, cool things to do and visit, exhibitions, events more on the experimental side, etc. Really anything you can think of, even if it's random! Also want to see some nature if I have the time. It's my first time in eastern europe so I'm quite excited about it.
Do you also know where it would be easier to find a place to crash? I'm very low on money, so even the hostels that I checked aren't the best option for me. If I don't find anything else then I'll have to go with that but idk how people feel about couch surfing and things like that there.
Thank you :)
submitted by kitchenthingssss to Prague [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:20 SubstantialYou6879 Is it normal for my (F20) bf (M20) to not want to have sex with me anymore?

We have been dating for almost a year (not too long). We also dated a few years back, he was my first love and we reconnected. I truly love him and I believe that he loves/loved me too.
I have recently become suicidal and I guess depressed (not diagnosed) and I have been feeling extremely self critical so when my bf suddenly stopped having sex with me I can’t help but feel like I have done something wrong.
In the first 6 months our sex life was amazing, he would make me finish and I would sometimes cry/get upset after sex (I’m not sure why this happens) but when it happen he would cuddle me tell me it’s okay and still be attracted to me.
He would never reject sex if I was in the mood especially if I offered head. So it’s not like he has a low libido. But recently we have been having (what I like to call) our weekly pitty sex because it feels like he only does it with me so that I can’t say he doesn’t have sex with me.
It takes him much longer to get hard over me and it happens much more rarely. This would be okay if the sex was pleasurable for both of us but it lasts a couple of minutes and he doesn’t even try to satisfy me anymore. (I kiss him, give him head and make it as good for him as I can so it feels pretty selfish).
I have also started to become irritated by the fact that we only have sex when he wants it. I let him have sex with me whenever he wants because I’m worried I won’t have a chance to have sex with him for a long time if I say no. So even when I’m not in the mood I still let him do it. Whenever I’m in the mood he never wants to do it ( which would be fine if it worked both ways but when his in the mood it feels like we have to have sex or else I’m crazy because I love cock so much so I’m just apparently “not having sex to be petty ” since he says “I love cock so much” and never because I’m not in the mood.
He says nothings changed and that apparently I’m “crazy for cock” and I “love cock so much”. Which makes me feel really bad as I used to get bullied for apparently being a slut my whole life (rumours started by an ex bf caused this).
I’m just very attracted to him and don’t understand why he wouldn’t be attracted to me anymore. I have tried to talk to him about this but he always tells me to Shutup, that I’m talking bulshit, that I’m making things up and then he leaves. He always leaves so we don’t get to talk. Most days the second I start to cry he just gets really angry and leaves even when I tell him I have been feeling suicidal and have been searching how to end my life. He just leaves and says I’m crazy.
He used to care for me deeply when I was upset.
Is it normal for men to lose feelings for their gfs sexually? Is he too used to me? Should I change anything? Maybe it’s coz I gained weight but it’s honestly not very noticeable I’m still relatively fit maybe just not as much as I was at the beginning. He says he doesn’t watch porn and I believe him.
I don’t know what to do. Im a highly emotional person (he knows all this we have known eachother since we were 14) and I don’t know how to deal with these emotions of self hatred.
Ps.
I just wanted to say that I don’t see sex as a purely pleasurable thing. I see sex as a bonding between two people and I find that it shows ur love for someone as you want to please them. I have tried toys and masturabation but it’s not the same thing as a bond with someone.
Pps.
I have recently tried to join therapy but there is a long waiting list and I don’t know if I will even get a spot.
Ppps.
Other than his reaction to my sadness and our recentl lack of sex everything is amazing, I truly love him we go on holidays, buy eachother gifts and spend nearly everyday together. I’m only worried about his reactions to my sadness and what I could do to make myself more attractive to him. As I won’t get answer from him, he just says he is still attracted to me.
Also please let me know if I’m just being crazy sometimes I feel like my brain doesn’t work properly and no one wants to listen and work out why I feel the way I do. I myself don’t know why I feel how I feel sometimes. Please be nice.
submitted by SubstantialYou6879 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:20 Odd-Bee8144 Ppl in aus, where can i find shipment boxes that are 2m long

Anyone know roughly how much these big boxes cost in aus?
submitted by Odd-Bee8144 to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:20 ConflictFew4171 Children’s book about polar bears living in the clouds?

I can’t find this book I read as a kid in the 90s. All I remember is one scene where there’s polar bears living in the clouds and they have castles and homes and slides all made of clouds. I remember the book was beautifully illustrated…
submitted by ConflictFew4171 to whatsthatbook [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:19 ConfidentLanguage704 Does it make me an jerk if I were to cancel or decline on going on a trip with a friend so that I can travel abroad to meet women at karaoke bars and massage parlors ??

So one of my friends has been wanting me to travel with him for quite sometime and I have always declined going with this friend. Yesterday, he was talking to me and he was asking if I wanted to go on a trip to Seattle next year since one of his classmates is from there. He asked me and kind of begged me to go saying that I have always traveled with my other friends and my parents and that I never traveled with him. I told him nicely that I don't want to do that as I rather save my money so that I can go abroad to find a wife. I'm struggling with the breakup of an ex who hurted me badly and I want to travel to my home country of vietnam so that I can meet some women over there. I have family and relatives who live in Ho Chi Minh City.
My plan is to go over there and meet some women. Whether it is from an matchmaker, a massage parlor or a karaoke bar that specializes in hanging out with vietnamese women. The karaoke bars in ho chi minh city, they send in a whole group of women into your room and you get to pick out who you want to hangout with, it can be up to 5 or 10, depending on your taste or what you want to do. Most of these women are dressed very sexy but also very classy in classic evening gowns that has high side slits that goes up to their thighs. They also wear stripper pleaser heels. Sometimes it is a regular evening gown with a high slit but there are other times where they would be dressed in a beautiful evening gown chinese qipao dress that has super long thigh side slits and I like that one. I love qipaos as I think they're hot. I would pick the ones who are wearing qipao dresses.
My friend claims that I'm an ass and a pervert because I am canceling on him so that I can go abroad and meet women this way. He says that the women that I would meet are very bad ones and that they would most likely use me for my money. I told him that ain't true and that I'm willing to risk it. I'm tired of being alone over here so I want to go over there so that I can hang with some vietnamese women. I want to have some female company or companionship, I'm a straight guy so I want women. I don't get how canceling on him makes me an asshole. Does it really make me an jerk if I were to cancel on him ??
submitted by ConfidentLanguage704 to AmITheJerk [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:19 Own_Tower3454 I (19F) want to get an apartment with my boyfriend (19M), how do I tell my mom (35F)?

Any and all perspectives help more than you know. I don’t have anybody to really talk about this with so any guidance is appreciated. It’s a lot to read, I might yap but with reason
I’m 19 years old and have just finished my spring semester of college. I went to a big college out of town, my main financial aid fucked me over so I had to switch at semester to my home state’s university. Anyway, this year was kinda tough for me lost a couple family members & my boyfriend had it rough, lost his best friend and dad within a few months of each other. Then we find out I’m pregnant. I wasn’t sure what I really wanted but didn’t get to make a choice, I miscarried sometime later. It was hard so I went back to hometown & finished semester online while staying with boyfriend until I needed to move my stuff out of dorm.
My boyfriend is 19 and we’ve been together a year & a half, but known each other since middle school. We dated in 8 grade until he had to move out of state, he moved back & we started hanging out again. My circle is small & I don’t really make/have any friends but he’s my best friend. Even if we wouldn’t have chose to date after he came back to town, ik we would’ve been good friends. My family liked him or seemed to at least, especially my mom.
It’s well known in my family that my mom and I just don’t get along. She kept me quite literally locked away as the Cinderella child until I left. I could only do things if she wasn’t in a bad mood/something didn’t need cleaned/ a child didn’t need to be picked up/dropped off. My friends in high school never invited me ANYWHERE lmao but after a while I figured out it’s easier to just deal w it rather than push back harder. I didn’t know how to use a crosswalk until I was 14 lmao I was so sheltered sorry ANYWAYS, I turned 18 and it was like I had a brand new mother until her fear of me leaving wore off.
Long story short, the summer before I left for college (last summer) my mom & I got into a fight, I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I moved in with boyfriend. My mom did the absolute most, almost got me fired from my job & ambulance ended up being called from how much of a tantrum she threw. It was so ridiculous that she refused to tell anybody what happened when people asked because she said it’s too embarrassing for her.
Just like that, she flipped. My boyfriend had a rough upbringing which she knows some stuff about. She took that and twisted the narrative to make him seem like some sort of charity case that took advantage of her generous & good graces. She calls him the hungry kid who hangs out w her daughter behind my back. He’s no longer allowed at her house lmao just out of spite. He never said a word to her or about her when she had the worst to say about him, he never was disrespectful or showed up to the house either so idrk why she said that. Even when I moved out & she drained my entire savings I had worked for since I was 15, he never said anything bad about her just that i was going to be okay & he’s gonna help me figure it out. Not only that but she shunned me for a long time, refused to talk & look at me after I moved out. My little brother was 5 and didn’t really understand but my mom didn’t try to explain or kid proof it, just let him scream, cry, & claw at my legs whenever I’d leave the house to go home. I felt incredibly guilty & like I had to compensate so I’d stress out & make sure to see her and my siblings every single day till I left for college.
If you’re still reading thank you sm.
Fast forward to today, I went to college finished my semester and am back in my hometown. Over breaks in college I’ve stayed at my moms cause she expected me to and her & I’s relationship has gotten so much better with distance. Between her and boyfriend, they were my biggest support especially with the miscarriage. But the only conversation they’ve had is when him and I went to talk to my mom in person when I found out I was pregnant. Not sure where she stands with him idrc but I’m sure she probably hates him more since we did technically make her worst fear as a mother come true.
Im living with her now mainly cause I don’t want to be isolated again & i physically cant deal with the debilitating anxiety and guilt every day, I wanted to try to focus on healing & resting before I start classes in the fall. Boyfriend’s family situation is getting v challenging for him, hes gonna get a place regardless. I really just want a space where I’m not feeling constantly overstimulated & I miss living with him a lot honestly. We make the best team & it’s so easy with him. I catch myself getting so excited looking at furniture even from the thrift or think ab cooking meals w him or decorating. I miss him making breakfast for me before I wake up and folding laundry together and grocery shopping. He’s paying 6 months rent in advance so that I won’t have to worry about getting enough hours & can enjoy summer and actually rest. Both of us independently have a pretty thick cushion to fall back on too just in case. So finances aren’t a problem I think?
My mom isn’t too keen on the idea. I think she doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes she made, which I understand because I was also there when she was left with half of every pair of shoes she owned, I mean he took literally half of everything. Even in the case that we do break up and then I’m stuck with an apartment with my ex and have completely fucked myself over, at least I was able to make my own mistake for the first time and learn from it? Idk what to tell my mom or how the conversation should go. I don’t wanna be shunned again but then again I’ve never once been able to just do something and justify it with “it’s my life”. Idk, advice/thoughts/bullshit/opinions please please help. Have a blessed day, thank you. I appreciate your time & input more than you know, I don’t have anybody to bounce ideas around with.
submitted by Own_Tower3454 to teenagers [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:18 Demoneyeskels AITAH for reaching out to my estranged mother against my sisters’ wishes

I (35f) have found evidence that my mother who has been missing 20 years is still alive and is out and about. I have 4 siblings, Jane 37, Ann 33, Fran, 33, and Crystal 30. We were all raised together, even though some of us our half siblings. Jane and I are full siblings. I never really separated any of us because we all share the same my mom and were raised together so I just call every sister; sister. When I was 12 years old, my mother asked me a question “if you had to choose with being with me or your sisters, who would you rather be with?”. I remember telling my mom I would rather be with her, then a month later, she woke me up in the middle of the night and told me we were leaving. A bit a background, we were extremely poor, living in shelters or government assistance. There were many times we went to bed hungry, but sometime my mom would wake me up and take “us” (me and her) to get food. My mom was my everything from a very young age. Anything she believed in, thought or taught me, I retained over the years and found them to be important. Like “join the military, if you don’t know what you want to do” “treat every relationship like it will be you last (i.e. do everything to take care of your man). I did 4 years in the army, and every relationship, I put way more into than I should’ve. But in my eyes, these were things I was supposed to retained and respect. When I hit 13.5 years old, everything changed. In 2002, the state, government, DCS, CPS, DCFS, whatever it is in your state found me. They found me at school and took me away to live with my sisters and Grandfather (someone I was always told was dead). I finally saw my sisters again, I was happy about that. But it also came with its own set of problems. “Where have you been? What happened? Why did you?”, Ect, etc. Of course, I had no answers, the choice to pick my mom or them, I couldn’t say how it all went down in the beginning, keep in mind I was 12 to 14 in this whole process. After a while my sisters and I were able to get passed that decision I made. We ended up having “visitation” with my mother. She came to two visits, promised we would see her again and then disappeared. She reached out one other time after the 2nd visitation to tell ME, she was in the hospital for trying to kill herself, literally my last conversation with her. This happened in 2002/03, it all blurs this point in 2024. So they found out me with my sisters and grandfather (someone I remember my mother saying was dead already when I was with her). So my mother raised me until I was 13, and my grandfather took care of me from 14 to 24. Over the years, I would always try to look for her, I would used reverse address sites, stuff like “BeenVerified” “Truthfinder” and other reversed address websites. Anything I could afford to find her, never had enough money for a private investigator. But thought all the websites I never found substantial information. And I did this at least once every other year for about 14 years. It was devastating nothing ever panning out, but life goes on. May 2016, her father my grandfather passed away. He left $100,000, to each of his children. At the time I definitely thought, this is when I’ll see her again, this is when I’ll know what happened, because of course she will show up to get her inheritance…. Wrong… so wrong, she never popped up and just continued to be gone. Our original state is California. In Cali, if someone is missing for 5 years you can you can have the courts declare them deceased, it’s paperwork and exhausting, but also totally doable. I waited 8 years to start the process of trying to get the inheritance (it was never about the money, but in my mind, if it’s just there with the State, forget all that, give it to her struggling kids). So in January 2024 I started the process so me and all my sisters can get the inheritance. I was preparing documentation for the next court date and stumbled across a copy of my mother’s ID and birth certificate. I found it through the court because she was trying to get her inheritance exactly at the 5 year mark. I feel awkward. I prayed and hope for a long time that I would see her again, but after 20 years, I figured she must have died, People don’t just leave 5 children behind and forget about them…. Now that I was trying to better the lives of me and my sisters, now I find her information…. (It’s all too weird) I know life isn’t fair, and people have it better and worse than me. But I’m also like, what type of bullshit is this, I was finally ready to move on, now’s there’s a small glimmer of hope that I’ll see her again… you have got to be shitting me… I found her info a 2 days before Mother’s Day, just another slap in the face. So all that is the background to the AITA post. So now after explaining to 3 of my sisters that “she” found and I have an address for her, this is where the disconnect starts. Jane and Ann, wants nothing to do with her, they’re hurt, she left us, I get it, atleast to a certain extent. There’s so much hate because she disappeared. But myself and Fran, wants any and all information to understand what happened. It’s not normal to go AWOL so we want to know wtf happened. Unfortunately Crystal died in 2022, but she has explained her feelings before and she would definitely be on Jane and Ann side. Once again, I get it, we were all abandoned for over 20 years. I’m just a person that needs/ wants closure. And Fran is with me on that. Jane and Ann don’t want me to “poke the bear” there are completely over the situation, so when I mentioned reaching out, they both want absolutely nothing to do with it. And Jane doesn’t want me to reach out at all. But in my mind, I’ve been searching for years, so I want some contact if possible. So earlier today, I wrote a letter and sent that along of a copy of my youngest sister obituary to beg, super beg for my mom to respond me to try to have a relationship with her against my sisters wishes. I asked Jane and Ann for permission to send the letter, and the answer was pretty much “don’t do it”. I usually try to be super mindful of other peoples feelings and what they have been through ( I’m a Social Worker). But I felt like I couldn’t deny my feelings and I had to reach out. I’d be lying if I said I hated her, or didn’t want a real relationship with her. Over the years I started to say the same things as Jane and Ann, but I know part of that is believing I would never have the chance to see her again. But as of right now, that’s no longer the case. So AITA for reaching out to my estranged mother against my Sisters wishes?
submitted by Demoneyeskels to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:17 MiddleBackground9539 Where should I release my game?

I can’t choose if I want to release my game on Steam or Epic games. Steam is bigger so I have more competition but there’s more people to find my game but Epic games has less competition but less people to find my game and they take less % from you.
Is it easier to find my game on steam or epic games and where is it more beneficial for a game that will not grow in popularity?
submitted by MiddleBackground9539 to gamedev [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:17 Own_Tower3454 I (19F) want to get an apartment with my boyfriend (19M), how do I tell my mom (35F)?

Any and all perspectives help more than you know. I don’t have anybody to really talk about this with so any guidance is appreciated. It’s a lot to read, I might yap but with reason
I’m 19 years old and have just finished my spring semester of college. I went to a big college out of town, my main financial aid fucked me over so I had to switch at semester to my home state’s university. Anyway, this year was kinda tough for me lost a couple family members & my boyfriend had it rough, lost his best friend and dad within a few months of each other. Then we find out I’m pregnant. I wasn’t sure what I really wanted but didn’t get to make a choice, I miscarried sometime later. It was hard so I went back to hometown & finished semester online while staying with boyfriend until I needed to move my stuff out of dorm.
My boyfriend is 19 and we’ve been together a year & a half, but known each other since middle school. We dated in 8 grade until he had to move out of state, he moved back & we started hanging out again. My circle is small & I don’t really make/have any friends but he’s my best friend. Even if we wouldn’t have chose to date after he came back to town, ik we would’ve been good friends. My family liked him or seemed to at least, especially my mom.
It’s well known in my family that my mom and I just don’t get along. She kept me quite literally locked away as the Cinderella child until I left. I could only do things if she wasn’t in a bad mood/something didn’t need cleaned/ a child didn’t need to be picked up/dropped off. My friends in high school never invited me ANYWHERE lmao but after a while I figured out it’s easier to just deal w it rather than push back harder. I didn’t know how to use a crosswalk until I was 14 lmao I was so sheltered sorry ANYWAYS, I turned 18 and it was like I had a brand new mother until her fear of me leaving wore off.
Long story short, the summer before I left for college (last summer) my mom & I got into a fight, I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I moved in with boyfriend. My mom did the absolute most, almost got me fired from my job & ambulance ended up being called from how much of a tantrum she threw. It was so ridiculous that she refused to tell anybody what happened when people asked because she said it’s too embarrassing for her.
Just like that, she flipped. My boyfriend had a rough upbringing which she knows some stuff about. She took that and twisted the narrative to make him seem like some sort of charity case that took advantage of her generous & good graces. She calls him the hungry kid who hangs out w her daughter behind my back. He’s no longer allowed at her house lmao just out of spite. He never said a word to her or about her when she had the worst to say about him, he never was disrespectful or showed up to the house either so idrk why she said that. Even when I moved out & she drained my entire savings I had worked for since I was 15, he never said anything bad about her just that i was going to be okay & he’s gonna help me figure it out. Not only that but she shunned me for a long time, refused to talk & look at me after I moved out. My little brother was 5 and didn’t really understand but my mom didn’t try to explain or kid proof it, just let him scream, cry, & claw at my legs whenever I’d leave the house to go home. I felt incredibly guilty & like I had to compensate so I’d stress out & make sure to see her and my siblings every single day till I left for college.
If you’re still reading thank you sm.
Fast forward to today, I went to college finished my semester and am back in my hometown. Over breaks in college I’ve stayed at my moms cause she expected me to and her & I’s relationship has gotten so much better with distance. Between her and boyfriend, they were my biggest support especially with the miscarriage. But the only conversation they’ve had is when him and I went to talk to my mom in person when I found out I was pregnant. Not sure where she stands with him idrc but I’m sure she probably hates him more since we did technically make her worst fear as a mother come true.
Im living with her now mainly cause I don’t want to be isolated again & i physically cant deal with the debilitating anxiety and guilt every day, I wanted to try to focus on healing & resting before I start classes in the fall. Boyfriend’s family situation is getting v challenging for him, hes gonna get a place regardless. I really just want a space where I’m not feeling constantly overstimulated & I miss living with him a lot honestly. We make the best team & it’s so easy with him. I catch myself getting so excited looking at furniture even from the thrift or think ab cooking meals w him or decorating. I miss him making breakfast for me before I wake up and folding laundry together and grocery shopping. He’s paying 6 months rent in advance so that I won’t have to worry about getting enough hours & can enjoy summer and actually rest. Both of us independently have a pretty thick cushion to fall back on too just in case. So finances aren’t a problem I think?
My mom isn’t too keen on the idea. I think she doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes she made, which I understand because I was also there when she was left with half of every pair of shoes she owned, I mean he took literally half of everything. Even in the case that we do break up and then I’m stuck with an apartment with my ex and have completely fucked myself over, at least I was able to make my own mistake for the first time and learn from it? Idk what to tell my mom or how the conversation should go. I don’t wanna be shunned again but then again I’ve never once been able to just do something and justify it with “it’s my life”. Idk, advice/thoughts/bullshit/opinions please please help. Have a blessed day, thank you. I appreciate your time & input more than you know, I don’t have anybody to bounce ideas around with.
submitted by Own_Tower3454 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:15 InsecureSquid Your go-to cold meals

Hi, I've been diagnosed celiac since a bit more than 2 years now and am having a hard time finding things to eat in uni. Not much time to cook, no place where I could eat and just the usual student laziness. So I've resorted to cold meals that I can take with me to uni. But I feel like most gluten free meals just taste bland or straight up terrible when cold. I've tried making pasta salads but haven't had any success. What can I make apart from simple chicken and rice? Suggestions?
submitted by InsecureSquid to Celiac [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:15 Coffeeboyyyyyy Help Bring 90+ SCA Coffee to All (UK)

Hey coffee lovers,
I've always had a passion for special, high SCA coffee, but I know how tough it can be to find online. There's plenty of this amazing coffee available at auctions, but it's usually sold in big batches to companies around the world. That got me thinking—why not start a project that buys only SCA 90+ beans, roasts them, and sells them directly to fellow enthusiasts? This way, we can all enjoy rare and unique coffees, conveniently available on one website.
I'm super excited to get started, but since I need to buy the coffee in large bulk lots, I need to make sure there's enough interest before I dive in. Once I have enough confirmations, I'll go ahead and secure our first batch from auction.
If this sounds like something you'd be into, I've set up a quick one-page site where you can register your interest (no commitment required). Please note that I will only be able to provide coffee in the UK initially. In return, you will get early access to our first batch as a thank you.
Register Your Interest Here
Let's make it easier to enjoy the best coffee the world has to offer!
submitted by Coffeeboyyyyyy to pourover [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:15 Disastrous_Pattern_3 Don't go backpacking in Tahoe National Forest

Warning: Mentions of violence, blood, and some self harm near the end.
While browsing some random conspiracy site, I found what is a supposedly leaked file from the Nevada County Sheriff's Department; however, nothing has been confirmed. According to the OP, it is believed the following is the personal account of a 21 year old Jonathan Ashford of Grass Valley, California. Normally I would write stuff like this off but this one is...different. I’ve done my best to correct most of the grammar and misspelling while at the same time trying to avoid skewing the original account.
-September 15, 2022
I’ve never really been an outdoor person. Well, I guess that’s because I’ve never really been outdoors much in the first place. And that’s because I guess…I've never been invited? I don’t really have any friends. So, needless to say, I was surprised to find myself on a backpacking trip with a group of 5 other students from my university. The plan was five days in Tahoe National Forest some place called Mystery Lake. Monday-Friday. I don’t know why they decided to do it during the week. Most of us had okay grades at best and part time jobs on the side so taking a week off of it all seemed at the very least a bit irresponsible; and yet, I went anyway. Listen, I didn’t plan it, okay? This was one of my only chances to get to know people. The hike wasn’t too long but my genius self who had only been backpacking once when I was around 9 years old or so decided to carry 60 pounds of bullshit up the mountain resulting in my shoulders being sore and raw for the foreseeable future.
-10:11 PM
To be honest, I don’t really know why they let me come with them. I only know one of them and the group has been ignoring me for pretty much the entire trip. I was always bringing up the back on the hike in and I set up my tent outside of the main camp behind some trees. I haven’t eaten any meals with them or talked to them or, now that I think about it, anything really. Regardless. The trip has been an experience. Hopefully things get more exciting tomorrow.
-September 16
I’ve only ever slept in a tent a couple times so the new environment and lack of sleeping pills resulted in quite a restless night. I woke up at about eleven; everyone else was gone. I remembered they were talking about a day hike on a trail headed north so assuming that’s where they went, I hurried to get dressed and grabbed some granola bars. I’m about to head out. I hope I find them.
-12:21 PM
I’d been briskly walking for around an hour and was feeling quite exhausted so when I heard the group’s voices off in the distance I was very relieved. I started to jog in their direction when–when this jolt or–wave of energy flooded my mind. My head instantly started throbbing and my vision went blurry. The best way I could describe it is–TV static? Like the old TVs that would go all staticky when the signal got bad. I could barely make out shapes and a space in the middle of my vision was especially dark to the point where I couldn’t see past it. That wasn’t the worst of it, though. God no, if only I was that lucky. I can still hear the shrieking. That goddamn shrieking. In an instant all I could hear was this sharp, scratchy shrieking. It pierced through my ears and rooted itself in my head. I think I cried out in pain but even if I did I couldn’t have heard it. It was as if the damned souls of hell all cried out in eternal pain all at once and begged for death. I gripped and pulled at my hair, hardly noticing the pain that resulted from it as I fell to my knees in agony before…
I slowly opened my eyes. My head hurt and there was a slight buzzing in my ears. I lay in a pile of ivy next to a fallen log, my back dampened from the cool soil beneath me. I stood up, the hill on which I previously stood was nowhere in sight. As I leaned my shoulder against a tree to steady myself I heard voices. Cautiously, I walked through the foliage as the low vines dragged along my ankles. As I walked, I looked up. The falling sun cast a soft orange glow across the sky. It was probably around five O’clock or so. I climbed up on a large rock only to realize I was near the main camp. I pin-pointed the voices of my fellow campers as they huddled around a low-burning campfire. As I sat down to listen to them speak I could sense a strong feeling of uneasiness resonating from the group. Then it hit me.
“Are you sure you haven’t seen her since earlier this afternoon?” One of them said, I think his name was Matthew? He was tall and lean, by far the tallest in the group.
“I’m sure! It just doesn’t make sense. One minute she was behind me going on about who knows what and then the next when I turn around she’s gone!” A girl with light brown hair said. I didn’t know her name. I could see tears forming at the corner of her eyes as the wind blew her hair into her face.
“We need to find her before it gets dark. Groups of two; stick together!” A shorter man with brown hair said. Ryan. He was the only one I knew. We weren’t friends. Definitely not. But he was nice enough to me in the classes we had together and I was grateful that I was able to go on the trip with him. As he walked past the boulder I sat beside, paying me no mind, I saw his lower lip quiver as his wide eyes looked straight ahead. He was more nervous than he led on. I zoned out for a few seconds, the static from earlier crawling its way into the corners of my vision when a chipmunk climbing a tree snapped me back to reality and I realized I had been left at camp. I looked around at the tall forest but the group was nowhere in sight. I assumed they wanted me to wait at camp in case the missing girl, Alice, came back, but as I moved toward the dying campfire the call of nature occupied my thoughts. I found a spade and a roll of toilet paper and strode briskly into the forest, the cool Autumn air rushing against my chapped lips as I walked. I reached over to scratch an itch on my arm when I saw it.
“The fuck?” I wondered out loud. There on my upper forearm was…a bite mark. I rattled my brain trying to think what could have made that kind of mark. As I examined it more I confirmed my suspicions. It seemed human. At least I think it was human. It’s not like there are any goddamn monkeys native to Middle of Nowhere, California. There was also a dark purple bruise on my lower forearm. Didn’t remember getting that either.
I looked around for a good spot. Stepping over a log, I set my foot down on something soft. It was Alice. Her right hand crushed and mangled and a dried trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth had pooled on a flattened leaf. I screamed, tripping and falling back in the direction I hoped was the camp. As I jumped over a rock I landed hard on my left ankle as a streak of pain shot up through my body. I was trying to get back up when I heard it. The screeching. It steadily yet quickly faded in until it flooded my hearing. My vision was clouded by that same static. I curled up into a ball, kicking at the air. My eyes watered and I felt the urge to vomit…
A wave of dizziness hit me as I opened my eyes and fell on my tailbone, pain shooting up my back. I lay down on my back and looked up at the trees, my nose bloody. It was still dark. Had I been standing? I tried to recall what I had been doing but all I remembered were faded images. One thing I didn’t forget was the screeching. All that I could remember was covered by that screeching and a faint veil of that static. Just thinking about it made my head throb.
A groan. I nearly jumped out of my skin as I turned to look in the sound’s direction. It was David. He looked injured, lying on the ground, but quickly crawled back in what looked like fear when he saw me.
“You bitch!” He muttered between gritted teeth. Before I could react he was up on his feet charging in my direction. I tried to doge him but the wind was quickly knocked out of me as he headbutted me in the stomach. I fell back onto the ground and between coughs I saw him running towards me. Before he could deliver a heavy stomp to my chest I caught his foot and kicked up into his groin. He stumbled back with a low yelp of pain and, taking my chance while he was stunned, I stood up as fast as I could and prepared to block another attack. He ran up to me and attempted to deliver a blow to my stomach with his right fist, leaving his upper body undefended; I used the opportunity to send a hard punch into the side of his neck. He fell back choking, tears in his eyes. As he tried to sit down he tripped on a root and hit his head on a nearby boulder with a sickening crack. He squirmed for a moment, then nothing.
Silence. There was a faint red stain on the side of the rock, and beneath his blood-stained hair, his head seemed unnervingly misshapen. The closer I looked, the more I saw. Bruised neck, flowing blood, even some pinkish bone exposed near the worst of the damage to his skull. The fall must’ve been worse than I thought. Why would he attack me? What was wrong with him? Had he mistaken me for someone else? I sat against the blood-stained boulder and leaned my head back. I’m exhausted. Everything hurts. My ankle is throbbing. I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve slept and I don’t know what to do. I should probably go try to find the camp but…I’m too tired. I think I’m going to go to sleep now.
-September 18
I slept through the entire day and most of the night! Or, at least I think I did. The more I think about it I’m not so sure. It’s like 2:30 AM, glad my phone still works even if my brain doesn’t, just wish I had signal. I’m not sure what to do but I might try to go find
-4:29 AM
Something’s definitely out here with us. Or–me. Not sure how many of the others are left out here. I’m sure that shrieking is tied to something. I heard something off in the distance while writing and decided to go check it out. It was Matthew and that other girl. They were walking briskly and their eyes seemed to be darting around frantically. They were talking in hushed tones but from what I heard they found Alice's body, and they were worried. I was about to reveal myself to them when the shrieking came back. It hit me like a train, and sometimes I think a train would have hurt less. It felt like it lasted for hours, I bit a hole through my lip and fell off of the boulder I was sitting on. I couldn’t see anything except a dark patch of static in the middle of my vision surrounded by more static. All the cuts and bruises in my body seemed to amplify and I could barely breathe. I just wanted it to stop but it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t stop.
The two were dead when I came to. I wasn’t much better off myself. No matter how much I spit I can’t get the taste of blood out of my mouth. My arms are covered in cuts and bruises and my shoulder was dislocated. That was a fun half hour figuring out how to put it back in place. I think whatever is out here with us clouds your vision and makes it impossible to hear anything as a way to hunt you. I’m amazed it hasn’t killed me yet. I hope Ryan is still out there.
-6:06 AM
It’s been a long night. A really long night. I found Ryan but–but now I wish I hadn’t. It was around five AM I think, I had been aimlessly wandering through the forest looking for something, anything. By the most unlucky luck Ryan came stumbling around a tree. When he saw me his eyes went wide.
“Jon, what the hell?” Then he squinted his eyes and seemed to notice the wounds on my arm.
“Oh god,” he said. Then, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small knife, glaring at me during the process. Before I could reply, he charged me, knife in hand. I–I didn't want to kill him. I really didn’t. He tackled me to the ground, forcing the knife close to my chest. I desperately tried to push him away and being the stronger one, I knocked him off me. As he hurried to get back on top of me I sent my right leg flying into his arm, knocking the knife from his hand. Before he realized what was happening I grabbed the knife from the ground. In what seemed like a last desperate attempt he tried to force me down again but, already having the knife in my hand, I quickly slashed his chest and one of his wrists without thinking. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t mean to kill him! I was just defending myself. I don’t know why he attacked me, what’s gotten into him and David? Is that thing controlling them? They didn’t seem like they were under some kind of spell…I don’t think so at least.
After a soft cry of pain he collapsed and rolled down the steep hill we were standing on. I didn’t bother looking for his body. No point. Odds are that thing would use his body as a trap for me or something. I don’t know anymore.
Somehow I found my way back. I don’t remember how, all I remember is collapsing against a tree out of exhaustion but, here I am at the trailhead. I guess my half dead brain forgot most of it. I don’t know what I’ll do now, I don’t think I’ll tell the police. If they hear that some creepy ghost creature is hiding out in the forest killing my friends I’ll probably get locked up in who the fuck knows where for who the fuck knows what. But, no matter how many or how few believe me, I know something is out there. And I know it’s dangerous. I doubt the bodies will ever be found. That forest is huge and I buried Matthew and Elizabeth, found her name in a backpack she had on.
This will be my last entry. My name is Jonathan Ashford, and I survived something dangerous in the Tahoe national forest. Whatever you do, do not go there. Goodbye.
-September 22, 2022, 5:06 PM
Ryan survived. The police are after me. Apparently he told them I stalked them in the forest and picked them off when they weren’t together. I don’t know what’s happening. There are some gaps in my memory but I know that I didn’t kill those people. I only killed David, and that was self defense. I’m not sure what I’ll do. The police don’t know where I am but I’m sure that won’t last long.
-8:19 PM
I saw an interview with Ryan on the local news while browsing channels. He seemed–off. There were bags under his eyes and his skin was pale. He seemed nervous, shaky. I hope he’s ok. I still don’t understand why he thinks I killed them.
-September 23, 3:12 AM
ok ok. I have a theory. I’ve been up all night thinking and it makes so much sense now. That thing can shriek. Terrifying right? But explainable. The static I still can’t make sense of, there’s no feasible way it could naturally do that. What if whatever supernatural force causes the static can also control people? Maybe that’s why Ryan looks so crazy. It must be controlling him. But why would it want me? Am I immune to its effects? Maybe.
-6:04 AM
They didn’t notice it. It didn’t hit them. When I was spying on Matthew and Elizabeth, right before they were–anyways.
The shrieking hit my ears before the static hit my eyes and in those few seconds, they didn’t notice. It didn’t affect them. They didn’t hear the shrieking. Maybe the shrieking is that monster thing's abilities failing to control me. Maybe that's why ryan-whatever’s controlling Ryan wants me. It’s because I’m a threat to it. Because It can’t control me. When I woke up I was injured, but never killed like the others. Maybe it doesn’t have as much power over me as others.
But why would the authorities believe Ryan? There’s no way his story can add up. Even if that creature, that thing, is intelligent, it can’t be that smart to fake a story. Why are they after me?
-11:42 PM
The police came by today. I was about to update this log again when they started banging on my door. I was able to sneak out a window before they noticed me, glad I live on the ground floor.
Something seemed off about them. I can’t say what but, something, like the uncanny valley effect, where something looks human but isn't. Whatever. It’s probably just my imagination. I need sleep.
-September 24, 2:20 AM
Something is wrong–something is definitely wrong. How did they find me? Holy shit that was close! I was dozing by a couple of dumpsters behind a gas station. Figured it was safe enough since it was out of the way and partly blocked by a fence until I heard dogs barking. Not sure how many of them there are, at least two–maybe three, I can still hear them barking. I figured they were just strays that would hopefully leave me alone until I saw the lights. Damn things half-blinded me!
“Son, what are you doing back here? Can we walk to you?” one of the officers said, his face was clammy and pale, he seemed tired, he seemed–off. I didn’t respond or wait for them to try and get closer, I dashed past them before they could call their dogs on me and jumped the fence, running into the tree line. I managed to climb my way up a tree a ways into the woods before they could get around the fence and send their dogs out. They haven’t found me yet, but they’re still looking for me. I can see their flashlights periodically bathing the tree line in a pale glow. I think I’ll try to wait them out and then climb down and run for as long as I can. Not sure where I’ll go yet but they keep finding me so I’ll have to get creative. Not sure how they’re finding me so quickly and easily, but maybe I can come up with something. Is that–thing finding me? Does it always know where I am? Is it controlling the police? Maybe that's why they looked so…wrong. I don’t know. I’m starting to think I don’t know anything anymore. I keep noticing the static in the corner of my vision occasionally, not sure why.
-September 24, 5:03 PM
I fucked up. Big time. Last night, somehow, I fell asleep. I don’t know how, guess I was just too exhausted. The sound of a helicopter pierced through the top of the tree line. Before I could register everything, I slipped and fell down the tree. I was able to slow my fall a bit by dragging my hands along the tree–hurt like a bitch–but I still landed hard. Can barely sit down. I think I was able to avoid being detected by the helicopter. I’m going to start walking. Not sure where but, I need to go somewhere. The static is constantly in the corner of my vision whenever I focus on it now. Why is this happening?
-10:44 PM
This doesn’t make any sense, I don’t know what's happening anymore! I was wandering through the forest when the static came back. God, it was awful, forgot how bad it was. Hell, maybe it was worse this time. Who knows. This isn’t the weirdest, or worst, part. I woke up in my apartment, I’m exhausted, but don’t have any new visible injuries despite how shitty I feel. Not sure why that thing didn’t try to hurt me, maybe it gave up on trying.
The news was on when I woke up, God I’m so fucked. They found the bodies–the ones that I buried. Of course they found my DNA all over them, used their forensics or whatever to try to explain how I killed everyone. I’ll have to admit if it wasn’t all a setup by some evil entity out to get me it would be pretty convincing. Sometimes–I find myself believing it. I don’t know what to think at this point, nothing makes sense anymore. The static is far more noticeable now. My head is starting to hurt, too.
They haven’t come back to my apartment yet, probably don’t think I would return this soon after they searched the place. I know they’ll be here eventually but I’m too tired to care right now. My brother and his kids used to live a few hours out of town, I think he built a treehouse for his kids somewhere behind the house. Maybe I’ll go try and hide out there for as long as I can. As if that will be very long at all.
-September 26, 6:24 PM
Everywhere I look, everything I watch. They’re always out for me. Everyone is looking for me. The things the police and the media keep saying about me–the evidence that gets released every day, the testimonies, officials saying I have symptoms of psychological problems like psychosis and DID, of Bipolar. More and more–I’m starting to believe it myself. Surely it's that thing. Surely it’s getting in my head…right?
-September 27, 1:03 PM
Made it to the treehouse, glad it’s still here. Had a few close calls along the way when trying to steal food from gas stations but I made it ok. Glad I did, the static is starting to really cloud my vision and my head hurts so bad my ears are starting to ring. I’m not out of the woods yet, that’s for sure. I can sense them...it. They’re trailing me. I think they’re getting close.
I’m so tired, so confused. I don’t know what to do, what to think anymore. What’s next? Maybe I’ll try to get some rest…if I can, that is.
I could try to come up with something, some silver bullet or whatever. I have this one idea, it’s not smart or clever, not even close, but it’s an idea, and it won’t let it–them–it, whatever, win. At least I don’t think it will; besides, surely it has a bigger plan for me, right? There’s no way it would go through all this effort just to kill me…
-4:39
They found me. I can hear them outside. They’re getting closer.
To be honest, I don’t know anymore. Maybe I did kill all those people, maybe I am insane. I don’t know what to believe. There’s so much being said, so many people saying it. I’m just so confused, so tired, so scared.
There's a bomb on the chair beside me, homemade. Glad I grabbed enough supplies to build it. Took me a while to figure it out as well as a few close calls but I think I got it working. They’ll have quite the surprise waiting for them once they find me…
They’re at the base of the tree now. The static has almost completely consumed my vision and my head feels like it’s about to explode. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore. I’m not sure why I was made the target of this, why this is happening to me at all, but regardless of the reason, I won’t let them win.
To the creature, or entity, to whatever is doing this to me: I’ll see you in Hell.
Goodbye
Aside from some generic legal stuff to conclude the report, that’s where the document ends. I’m not sure what to make of it. Definitely a lot to take in. I contacted the OP on the site I got this from but haven’t received a response yet, will update if I receive one. For now my only advice is be careful, and don’t go backpacking in Tahoe National Forest. If anyone has any thoughts or info, please, let me know.
submitted by Disastrous_Pattern_3 to creepypasta [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:15 catrawwr Download Audio Quality

Hi I’m looking to download Tom And Jerry opening music and I can’t seem to find it any where so I’m resorting to YouTube download.
How good is the quality of the audio when using 4kdownloader?
submitted by catrawwr to 4kdownloadapps [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:14 RiseToLibertyPodcast [Resource] Support your local farmers and ranchers - No Farm, No Food.

[Resource] Support your local farmers and ranchers - No Farm, No Food.
I’m not sure where I found this project but somewhere along the way, within all the stuff I listen to and read I came across this new project. For clarification I am not associated with this project nor do I get any benefit from mentioning them.
fromthefarm.io
From their website:
“Shake The Hand That Feeds You
From The Farm champions food sovereignty and a resilient food supply chain. Here, every choice you make supports a family owned farm, ranch, or homestead creating a secure parallel economy. Together, we’re not just sharing meals - we’re cultivating a legacy of freedom and independence in our food choices.”
So find a farm in your area, go out and help a local family while helping yourself by securing a source of clean food.
Bonus points if you can use Monero or Gold backs to purchase from them. And if they don’t know about them, introduce them. 🤙
submitted by RiseToLibertyPodcast to Agorist [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:13 Dazzling_Zucchini823 I understand forgiveness but can’t seem to apply it in my meditation practice

4 years ago, I made the tough decision to cut abusive family members out of my life. Since then, I’ve worked through many of the traumas that have happened to me (through therapy) but get stuck in my practice when I try to let go of the hate and anger I feel towards these people. I understand forgiveness is not about the abusers, but rather accepting that you can’t change your past and recognizing that the people who hurt me were broken too. Although it hurts to hold on to these grudges, it also feels good to hurt them back in my mind by thinking about ways I wish I would have responded or ways I could have hurt them. It feels like a sense of control over a situation I had no control over growing up, and gives me a false sense of justice for what they did. But, as you probably guessed, this has caused me more suffering than anything and I want to let go of this anger and hurt and finally be free. I understand what forgiveness entails and why it’s important, but I can’t seem to find a practical way to implement it in my practice. I’m still fairly new to meditation and starting practicing more seriously 4 years ago when I initially made the decision to cut off my abusers. I guess my question is - what does practical application of forgiveness look like in meditation? Where do I start or what am I missing? Any suggestions are much appreciated.
submitted by Dazzling_Zucchini823 to Meditation [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:13 No-Gur-2410 New Here, Advice Please

Hi! New here. Using a different account as recommended.
I (22F) recently met my MM (35M) at my job. When first approached by him, He was really sweet/nice & respectful. After 3 days or so of seeing me around and talking to me, he asked for my number and offered to take me out.
I was very hesitant as to me it seemed unreal. He is from a different cultural background and he would send certain texts and say certain things about me (my looks) that I have never heard a man in the U.S. say to me before lol. After getting to know him a little more, I now know that is just how he talks and it isn’t fake. He tells me im beautiful all the time and how I take his breath away, how he wants to gaze into my beautiful eyes, etc lol. These things are sweet to me but also out of the norm for me so I don’t know how to exactly receive them other than blush and say thank you.
Fast forward, we were planning a date to the movies and a week or so before, his SO caught him in my car. We weren’t doing anything, just talking & he was kind of playing in my hair and touching my back, nothing crazy. We never got to go out as you would expect. We had met up in that parking lot two times. The first night, he drove to my city and all was fine & the second night, the same & that’s when everything happened. Come to find out, she was tracking him the first time but just couldn’t find out where he was.
I didn’t really know how to take that whole interaction and he apologized for it trying to get back into my good graces and told me that he didn’t know she was tracking him to where we were. He said he didn’t know she turned his location on his phone and it never occurred for him to check as he doesn’t recall when they shared locations before coming to the U.S. or even when they first got here. I do want to say that, he told me that this is the first time he’s ever gone out of his way to actually meet up with someone outside of his marriage and that he had never done this before & I do believe it as he is really sloppy and come to find out, he didn’t even delete our text messages in the beginning when we first started talking. For reference, it’s only been about a month and some change since we’ve been talking and engaging with each other.
We kept talking of course, he has sent me money, we’ve talked on the phone for hours some days/nights when she’s not around, he even told me that he’s in love with me. I told him, I’ve never been in love so im not sure if that’s what I feel for him or what exactly it feels like but I know I do have love and care for him (deeply). We connect on a different level than other people I have talked to, he’s emotionally mature and likes to talk things out, he makes me feel comfortable sexually and just in general and I can be my full self with him as with other people I sometimes feel as if I have to hold back lol. Things have moved kinda fast with us but it also doesn’t feel unnatural and it feels good and I like spending time with him and just talking to him about anything.
More time goes by and I end up just getting a hotel by myself (just for fun lol, I love hotels). I did invite him and we didn’t have sex but he definitely made me feel good and wanted. We go to the mall, walk around a little, and I see him that same night on his lunch break at work and we separate. Fast forward some more lol, his SO ends up finding out he sent me money and that’s a whole thing. We meet up a week or so after that at the mall & the park. Those two days, I went to his house after (im really not sure if this was bad or not as I have seen some people say on the adultery subreddit this is probably a bad idea). I go there and again, we didn’t have sex but he makes sure im good of course.
I have never engaged in a physical affair with anyone and I truly don’t believe he has before (bc of his sloppiness) There has been one women he told me about who was married like him & had kids, but from what he tells me, it didn’t go far (not as far as it has went with me). He also doesn’t have kids with his partner.
About 3 days or so after that, his SO finds out through a recording device put somewhere in the house. I can be heard on it of course. I’m not sure if you would call these D-Days or not but he’s been found out a lot within just this one month of talking and even still continues to go out of his way to contact me if not through his phone, through a friend at work or his other phone. We have not met up outside of work after those days at his house and have only talked on the phone or seen each other at work and talked there. We’ve also done a little more at work besides that as well. (Always out of view of course).
Their relationship right now from what he tells me and how we are communicating right now seems like prisoner and warden. There are recording devices all around their home. (He recently found one and moved it only for her to put it back). He goes outside to talk to me otp because of the devices in the home, every time he leaves work she demands to go through his phone, his location is always on, etc. she even came to work one time thinking he was up to something or maybe that I would be there and she would catch him. I wasn’t. (She doesn’t know exactly what I look like & doesn’t know my name). He’s never talks negatively of her and honestly I would feel weird if he did. I do ask questions and he answers them but generally he just tells me that what she is doing is in the norm (culturally, I think?) & even though he doesn’t like it, he has to abide by whatever agreement they have right now.
She’s tried to bait me a couple times. She went through his phone and called me, expecting me to answer but I didn’t and I ended up calling back but no answer and then she called back, I answered and then she hung up. I did think this was him at the time but she hung up right when I said “hello?”. There was then a follow up text (as her, but I thought it was him) saying that “my wife just wanted to make sure I ended things and called to confirm.” She texted me from the app we use and said “hey” wanting to catch him in something (our thread was deleted but she found my number on the app). It was also the weekend and that didn’t make sense to me. (I was also sleep lol). We usually don’t talk on the weekends for obvious reasons and also the weekends are times for myself as me and him do talk throughout the week and at work.
After all of this, we talked recently & I am not exactly sure im looking for a solution but maybe just opinions, advice, anything you can offer lol. I really do like him but I am fine with cutting contact as it hasn’t been that long and even though I really connect with him, he sometimes talks as if he deserves the lack of privacy she’s given him within his own home and even work life.
I never asked him to leave his partner or choose because I know I don’t want that (I’m poly) but I do want to spend more alone time with him and see more of him (he might be moving states, not sure). But, his situation just seems like it might not be setup for us to do that like we did a couple times before. I also tell him that I feel as if there is more he could do as far as trying to see me, finding out ways to hang out but like I said I’m not sure if what we have is even a possibility anymore. I don’t feel as if I should be telling someone how to act in an affair (if that makes sense lmao). I guess I’m just not sure if I should move forward with continuing talking to him or not?? I know he definitely wants to continue talking.
I will say that even though his location has been being tracked & also those times we hung out before, he’s found a way to see me multiple times.
I have seen a lot of people talk about OPSEC but it kinda feels as if he wants to get caught or either doesn’t care which is why he is so sloppy. He has said himself (while exploring his own thoughts) that maybe he has acted this way because he wanted to get caught. He’s told me since he’s met me that he doesn’t feel the same for her as he did. (They’ve been married 8 years now I think?)
submitted by No-Gur-2410 to theotherwoman [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:12 NaiveDocument3062 Index multiple originals locations Truenas scale with symbolic links

Index multiple originals locations Truenas scale with symbolic links
Truenas Scale Dragonfish-24.04.0
SOLVED: I farted around with a few more symbolic links and after many hours have got it working but not sure which link worked XD I will find out and add it here for the next generation of coding noobs like myself
I have installed photoprism and had everything working perfectly fine for the single original folder location selected on initial configuration. I also was able to backup phone photos via photosync through photoprism to this truenas machine remotely through a cloudflare tunnel. I have not been able to symbolic link that 'originals' folder to other datasets/folders on the same drive as it doesn't show up during indexing in photoprism.
Use case: So I don't have to relocate all my media into one original folder as they are spread over many datasets each belonging to a different family member. ie ct dd pd etc. So that each person can use photosync to backup directly to their own datasets, and then each dataset can have individual control re snapshots etc
Pic 1: dataset configuration. appdata is where I have link photoprism originals source. ix-applications is where the containeapp/docker itself lives and needs hosts to be able to access anything outside that ix-application folder.
Pic 2: I have added additional storage for ../redset-ct host to be mounted into the app/docker under /photoprism/originals/redset-ct (I dont think this matters? ie: /whatever?). So the photoprism docker app should be able to see it. I did try hosting ../redset-ct directly to /mnt/redset-nas/appdata/photosync/originals directly but nothing.
Pic 3: I then tried symbolic links as I have seen many post stating that it works well. I tried: root@omni[~]# ln -s /mnt/redset-nas/redset-ct /mnt/redset-nas/appdata/photoprism/originals/ root@omnix[/mnt/redset-nas/appdata/photoprism]# ln -s /mnt/redset-nas/redset-ct And many others but they do not seem to show up with photoprism indexing after restarting the app.
I think my lack of coding/linking knowledge is holding me back. Please let me know if there's something obvious to get this to work and thanks in advance.
https://preview.redd.it/ydrd2zgbnq0d1.png?width=801&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f266389409cb8b8b6980a2cba0310f282bf32c9
https://preview.redd.it/ru3lf4j9nq0d1.jpg?width=359&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc8485f24b0191068f995c6d4f9396ae0a102aa1
https://preview.redd.it/3ohdm1j9nq0d1.png?width=934&format=png&auto=webp&s=608f88aa144830e8c44e27777e4d624847beff59
submitted by NaiveDocument3062 to truenas [link] [comments]


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