I've been trying to write for years. Decades.
In some ways I have always written; some of my earlier memories of school are sharing stories with my English teacher and the old man trying to coach me into, well, looking at the mistakes and fixing it.
I fell in love with fanfiction in my teens and wrote to my heart's desire. I couldn't stop. Hundreds of stories over a period of years that brought me my own fans and praise. In my early twenties I thought to myself okay, I can clearly do this. It's time to take my own writing seriously. Take off the stabilisers. I'm going to work on original content.
The following weeks, months and years were spent on crafting and worldbuilding the Epic I wanted to write. It went through dozens, possibly hundreds, of iterations.
I tried that monthly writing challenge. I tried being disciplined. I carried a notebook with me wherever I went jotting down new ideas. I brainstormed with other writers and friends. I wrote 10-15k beginnings that I scrapped and took back to the drawing board.
"I'm not talented or experienced enough to write something this challenging," I eventually decided. So I shelved it. I focused on learning about the art of storytelling. Inner conflict, fatal flaws, pacing, arcs, themes, what makes a good book from a great book. I bought and read books on it, articles, I watched numerous YouTube videos on the technicality of writing.
But I stopped writing.
I periodically tried to pick it up again. I knew I could write. I just needed the ideas. But they wouldn't connect. They'd sound good on paper but I could never push past that initial inspiration to write them and the blank page usually overcame me. And on the few times it didn't, my inner editor would immediately be all over what was lacking in what I'd written: I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't understand this character I had started writing about, I didn't know the world and its conflicts well enough to tell the story convincingly, people don't talk like that and I have no idea what happens in the next scene or how it pieces together in a larger work.
Slowly over the years my joy of writing got sucked from me.
Now when I sit down and write, I don't enjoy it. I enjoy planning things and creating characters. But the act of letting the words flow? I hate it. It feels horrible. Like I'm facing failure at every turn, and drowning in it. That I've lost my heart as a writer. I can technically write good words or craft a good story, I'm sure. But I simply no longer enjoy the act.
I wish I could learn how to let go of all my fears and just write. I would rather write something that is a terrible and incoherent mess and actually be able to enjoy it again, than force out something that might be technically decent but is a miserable process to get to.
I'm in my 30s now. I've wasted so much time on not-writing. I am trying to overcome some of these barriers, trying to find the joy in writing again. But man. Sometimes it's just easier to make a cup of tea and play a video game.
Can you force yourself to love something when the spark is gone?

Table of Contents

1. tl;dr
2. Summary
3. Intro
4. 7 steps
   1. Omnivore
   2. 1 Fluid
   3. 2 Fuel
   4. 3 Fresh
   5. 4 Fat
   6. 5 Fruit
   7. 6 Veg
   8. 7 Snack
   9. Beyond AAD
5. Regimen
   1. Morning
   2. Between meals:
   3. Afternoon
   4. Travel
6. Details

tl;dr

Japanese women live the longest; traditional "ama" divers catch crustaceans by hand.
This inspired my chicken soup of the sea: rice, shrimp and mackerel.
Can you guess which causes the longevity?
PIC: How to tell when a shrimp is perfectly cooked
https://preview.redd.it/ioy13ankti5d1.jpg?width=602&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f6561f8cd0dfa03e90f4fe35fa229651f459359e

Summary

Ama (海女, "sea women") are Japanese divers famous for collecting pearls, though traditionally their main catch is seafood.[1] The vast majority of ama are women.

An optimal diet should imitate the diet of the world's longest-lived people: Japanese women. What sets Japan apart from runners-up such as South Korea is high shrimp consumption.
Longevity is sexy:

• Tokyo Fish Market, 1964
• Japanese ama divers, with a diet primarily consisting of sea food, had impressive occlusions #mewtivation
• Japanese Ama divers, 1950s

I cut the seafood-rice diet down to the absolute minimum:

An elimination diet, also known as exclusion diet, is a diagnostic procedure used to identify foods that an individual cannot consume without adverse effects.

An optimal elimination diet follows the pattern of recovering from an upset stomach:

1. For fluid, drink hot water with a pinch of sea salt "tea".
2. For fuel, start with white rice congee. After #6 add brown rice, pre-soaked.
3. For fresh, have 50g frozen sea meat (shrimp) per day. The rest can be canned.
4. For fat, have a can of ocean fish (mackerel etc) per day. Watch the mercury.
5. For fruit, have a small orange with the plain rice (vit c).
6. For veg, lightly cook some spinach leaves with the shrimp (vit b).
7. For snack, have dried seaweed sheets and a handful of mixed tree nuts soaked overnight.

Take it one step at a time. These are sequenced in order of short-term priority to stay productive. Everything is low-FODMAPS except the nuts.
1-4 are like a healthier version of chicken soup: Both are high in methionine, salt and rice.
Methionine stops hunger. Eating less extends lifespan dramatically:

The exact manner by which calories are reduced changes across studies, but the animals’ calorie intakes are generally reduced by as much as half their normal levels. Depending on the species, the most promising results have shown lifespan extensions between 50 and 300%.

This diet can probably cut your calorie intake in half without trying, and your food budget as well.
A strong baseline makes it easy to detect harmful foods. You can thrive on just this, but why limit yourself? Establish a performance baseline, then introduce a new ingredient.

Intro

When I was a young man, I regarded cooking as a chore and simply wanted to eat healthy to gain muscle without wasting time. As a result, I ate a lot of Campbell's Chunky Soup and crackers. Not great for my sodium intake.
I sympathize with those who insist that a "minimum viable diet" should mean something simple and repeatable such as beef, potatoes and greens. Sounds great! If you're looking for lazy cooking, just learn some simple pressure cooker recipes. It does get more complicated than "throw tasty things in pot".
I might've continued as a culinary barbarian, had I not made some bad life choices, chief among which was taking a light course of Accutane, which is proven to cause Inflammatory Bowel Disease by aging epithelial stem cells. This caused my gut lining to gradually age, until I must now eat mush like an old man.
The struggle to find foods that didn't incapacitate me lead me to elimination diets and a journey into true minimalism, the meaning of which I hadn't appreciated before: not minimum cooking effort, but minimum digestive difficulty.
My eventual solution happened to align with the diet of the longest-lived people in the world – the Japanese. (Well, the women are longest-lived. The men work and drink themselves to death.) Apparently, the secret to their longevity is eating a lot of shrimp and rice. White rice is considered hypoallergenic, and shrimp induces satiety via methionine, permitting calorie restriction.
Doctors have been unable to label my condition with any specific diagnosis, despite extensive tests and endoscopy. So I believe my solution is generalizable to those without specific problems, who nonetheless find themselves plagued with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).
The less energy the gut must spend on digestion, the more energy the brain has to focus productively. Ancestral hunter gatherers could afford to lie around after a big meal; office workers not so much.
Even healthy people may be interested in the productivity benefits of easy digestion. Soylent is popular for this reason. The aquatic ape diet is healthier, easier to digest, and much cheaper.
Soylent costs about $225 per month. In a typical day I eat:

• for fuel, 4 handfuls of unenriched rice = 43g * 4 = 173g = 621 calories = .50 USD
• for fresh, a handful of frozen organic shrimp = 52g = 52 calories = 7.70 RMB = 1.06 USD
• for fat, 200g canned mackerel (or similar) = 312 calories = 6.5 RMB = .9 USD
• for fruit, small oranges sell for about a dollar each, so $2 for two = 90 calories
• for veg, spinach costs $2 and lasts 10 days, so .20 USD = 14 calories
• total calories = 1089
• $total = 4.66 USD daily * 30.4 days = $142 per month

As you can see, the AA baseline diet is slightly more expensive per calorie, but higher satiety so one eats less. If cost is a concern, you can easily cut to one small orange per day, dropping the price to $111 per month. Or replace oranges entirely with a vitamin c pill, which costs under 10 cents per dose. Then the cost would be $84 per month.
Most people don't want to eat minimally, and that's fine. However, those who hate cooking can keep the minimal ingredients at home, then indulge at restaurants. Or travel with Soylent and never miss a meal.

7 steps

Omnivore

Humans are omnivores. Thus a proper minimal diet will consume both plants and animals. Among mammals, even herbivores are usually opportunistic carnivores. Compensating for pure vegetarianism or carnivory complicates things considerably, as icebound Eskimos and smooth-brained koala vegans demonstrate.
Given omnivory, a minimal diet has three major requirements:

1. Fuel: either eat enough carbs and fat, or burn your own fat.
2. Fresh: for volatile water-soluble vitamins and animal protein.
3. Fat: for fat-soluble vitamins and well-being.

These are listed in order of priority.
One can get water-soluble vitamins from lightly-cooked meat, if one eats the right animals or organs in sufficient quantities. However, it is usually easier to get them from fruits and vegetables.

1 Fluid

The Romans paid legionnaires in sea salt, leading to the expression, "Worth his salt". Without sea salt, humans develop goiters.
During a severe IBS episode, you often stop eating. That is fine, humans can fast for weeks. Just drink sea salt "tea" until your gut calms.
This staves off dehydration, but gets quite hungry. When ready to rise and cook, proceed to the next step. Until then, have a toothpick and relax. (Chewing on something is a good way to stop eating.)

2 Fuel

The first step of recovery is to have some bland white rice congee. It is usually the easiest thing to digest. (If not, try soaking or pick another grain.) Starch fuel prevents starvation, conserving body fat on skinny chronic IBS sufferers. You need enough calories to stay active.
Put a 1-2 handfuls of rice and generous water into the pressure cooker, then cook until congee.
Plain white rice does get boring. So alternate white with brown rice. Brown rice has insoluble fiber, which is hardest to digest. So start with just a pinch of brown rice in white, which will change the flavor of the pot enough to fool your brain. If you can tolerate insoluble fiber, then increase the ratio. Gas is a key sign you can't.
If you're constipated, increase the ratio of brown rice. Fiber keeps you regular.

3 Fresh

The next step is to consume healthy fresh meat. The healthiest sea meat is shrimp. Just a handful will induce satiety via methionine. Briefly auto-warm them in the pressure cooker until they curl into a c-shape, not o. (This is safe, because saltwater shrimp parasites can't transfer to freshwater hosts.) Eat the shrimp before cooling, and save the broth for the next rice pot.
Wild meat is healthier than farmed, and saltwater is healthier than terrestrial. Humans are primarily a littoral species, even today. Our hairlessness is an aquatic adaptation (hippos, elephants); chimps can't swim. Our other closest relative, the pig, is semi-aquatic like us, and shares many anatomical features such as nose shape and eye color. Pigs, not chimps, are the main animal source for organ transplants into humans.

4 Fat

Fat is the second hardest to digest, but the most rewarding. It's what puts a smile on your face and heat in your extremities. Fat soluble vitamins degrade slowly, so canned food is fine. Mackerel is incredibly cheap and delicious. At 13% fat, it is sufficient but not overwhelming to weak guts. The bones are easy to eat around. Save the broth for the next rice pot.
Watch the toxin accumulation. Maximum is 200g mackerel per day, due to arsenic. Try alternating with other fish, such as tuna, sardines and salmon.
If you have fat malabsorption, try putting cholestyramine powder in the rice pot preceding the fatty meal, and look into UDCA. Eating fat is essential to enjoy life. Hence the expression, "Fat and happy."

5 Fruit

Fruit poses two digestive challenges: fructose and insoluble fiber. We can dilute the former and minimize the latter.
Apples have lots of insoluble fiber, making them chewy. Oranges have little, making them juicy.
Fruit is full of concentrated sugar, and the fructose in particular can irritate weak guts. Sugar provides short term energy. Thus an orange complements a pot of white rice congee.
By itself, the congee is bland starch, which provides long-term energy and filling comfort. Eat the orange as appetizer, then the congee as main course. Having this twice per day is a treat.

6 Veg

Vegetables contain even more insoluble fiber than fruit. One solution is to cook them to mush, but this destroys their b-vitamins, the main reason to eat them.
The solution is to use a soft vegetable that can be eaten raw and is high in vitamin b. Parsley and spinach both work, and go nicely with shrimp. Just throw them both into the pot on auto-warm at the same time.

7 Snack

With diets, cheating is always a danger, so one should try to fulfill cravings with healthy snacks. Dried seaweed have the salt, crunch and complex flavor to satisfy the potato chip craving. A handful of mixed tree nuts soaked overnight satisfies the desire for something more substantial, and puts the pot to good use.

Beyond AAD

Congratulations, you've completed the Aquatic Ape diet! Now you can add whatever works for you.
Having a strong baseline means it's easy to tell when something makes you feel worse. Similarly, being malnourished makes it easy to tell when you eat something that was previously missing. Malnourishment is not a pleasant baseline, so I recommend the former!
I'm sure you're eager to get to the steak and potatoes. The Weston Price Foundation has many great recipes for healthy indulgence.

Regimen

Morning

1. handful of unenriched white rice, pressure cooked to congee, eaten before cooling to avoid resistant starch. Small orange appetizer first.
2. clean pot and dish
3. 200g of wild-caught organic canned fish (no additives)
4. in leftover broth, pressure cook longer a handful of white rice with pinch of organic tricolor brown rice (to fool blandness perception)
5. clean pot and dish

Between meals:

• chew on a toothpick to distract from hunger
• pinch of sea salt in hot water

Afternoon

1. handful of unenriched white rice, pressure cooked to congee, eaten before cooling to avoid resistant starch. Small orange appetizer first.
2. clean pot and dish
3. handful of spinach and handful of wild-caught saltwater shelled shrimp (no additives) auto-heated to c-shape, not o-shape (that's overdone)
4. in leftover broth, pressure cook longer a handful of white rice with pinch of organic tricolor brown rice (to fool blandness perception)
5. clean pot and dish

The shrimp induces satiety for intermittent fasting.

Travel

Travel is tough. Suggestions welcome. Here's what I've got:

• bring toothpicks and sea salt
• buy hot white rice and water
• dry foods: pemmican, jerky or Soylent
• wet meat: canned fish, steamed shrimp
• vit b & c: spinach, lemon juice, small oranges

Details

Continued here due to length.

Please read! My friend brought up a very good point the other night.
I showed him Joannies videos for the first time (he was so fucking shocked yall. It was hilarious. I showed him the make out video and he went bright red, jaw hit the floor, he couldn’t believe what he saw. It was hilarious showing someone her videos for the first time and seeing their reaction)
ANYWAY- he brought up a very good point that I never thought about and I think you guys would love to hear this too. He mentioned recent case where parents were charged for involuntary manslaughter:
Is anyone familiar with the Ethan Crumbley case? He’s a 17 year old who shot up a school and his parents were also charged along with him. 10 years! They found that there were many disturbing signs leading up the shooting. Here is a copy and paste from one of the articles I found:
“The Crumbleys were accused of not securing the newly purchased gun at home and acting indifferently to signs of their son’s deteriorating mental health, especially when confronted with a chilling classroom drawing earlier that same day.”
Cash has hit and beat up other children at both of the schools he attended before being banned, 2 different strangers: a woman cashier at a food lion, and another at a Walmart. He beat his teacher so bad she ended up having to get surgery and never returned to work. The only reason nothing has happened to him yet is because all of these cases went unreported (Joannie is so lucky no one has pressed charges yet)
There is no way in hell they’re going to keep getting this lucky. I promise you. It’s only a matter of time before cash gets older, bigger, and as we’ve seen the violence is not getting even a little bit better. He looks like an adult man and nowhere near 12. And let’s not forget he’s almost 13, a teenager. Teens can be tried as adults depending on the severity of the case. He is going to act it one day at the wrong place, wrong time. And I guarantee someone will either press charges, or he’s going to act out in front of a cop one day.
If something gets reported or taken to trial, you all realize Joannie has all the evidence someone would need to win a case against her? ALL POSTED ONLINE. I don’t think she’s even thought this far ahead. She’s enjoying all this Tik Tok fame and money now, but she seriously needs to be careful. Just like the case mentioned above, if cash ever seriously hurt or killed someone, they could so easily pull up her tik tok and see that she’s done NOTHING to prevent it happening. She dosnt have him in school or therapy, and he’s severely autistic and violent. That could be seen as pure neglect in the courts eyes. Someone like him with his diagnosis NEEDS ABA and therapy to live a successfully life and he has none of the above. From what we’ve seen, it dosnt even look like she’s actually home schooling him. It looks to be that he’s just autistic and not getting any type of help or therapy. Not to mention they could pull up all her CPS cases.
Thoughts?

For context I’m a 20 year old man, I currently weigh 359 lbs and im the heaviest ive ever been, ive always been fat, throughout all of school i was “the fat kid” i didnt come from a healthy family, both of my parents worked full time growing up so we often had takeout to save time. This has been my lifestyle for as long as i can remember, i always hated vegetables as a kid and never grew out of it, although ive got a small handful of veggies i can eat, i wouldnt particularly say i like them, when making or ordering food its just easier to go without you know? Anyways, with that being said, my self esteem is about as low as it can get, my confidence has steadily dropped throughout school and now I’m at a point where i dont even really talk to anyone, and always wear big baggy clothes, even when its super hot. Looking back, i was a very easily fixable weight back in high school, but since i got a job ive gained a lot, I still live at home and dont pay much for rent, so i have a fair amount of disposable income, all this does is cause me to spend it all on food, bc of that i always end up running out of money not even half way into the month.
This is a problem that has caused me to be in all sorts of states of depression so obviously im sick of it. Ive tried losing weight more times than i can count, i even had weekly meetings with a dietitian at one point, but no matter what i do or how I approach it, it always ends up going the same.
•feel super motivated to lose weight •delete all food related apps •go shopping for healthy food •start going to the gym and eating healthier •track my calories
This all lasts for a few weeks at best, then i start losing motivation, either life stuff comes up and i can’t focus, or i just straight up get bored, i think a big thing is snacking, theres no way for me to get home from work where i dont walk past a shop, i always end up going in for snacks, i also finish work late which makes going to the gym annoying, but at the same time i dont like going beforehand because i dont want to be too tired. I work monday to friday but even if i were to go on the weekend, it probably wouldnt be enough, plus i dont even really know what to do in the gym, ive asked people before but only people who are in shape and have never been in my position, do i just do cardio? Are weights even gonna help at this point? I like the gym, i feel good after i leave, but building up the will to get there is the hard part. I know people say discipline is important, but i have no discipline, how do i even get discipline? Recently ive developed a kind of “i dont care about anything” kind of mindset, and i feel like the fact that I’ve acknowledged that i have that mindset makes it even harder to get out of it.
Essentially, i need help, i want to be better, i dont want to die before my parents do, i dont know what to do, i feel like ive been told so many different things that didnt help, im praying theres someone put there who has been through a similar thing who can give me some good advice. Thank you.

This was a 24 person tournament still very competitive this is the list I am running. https://www.moxfield.com/decks/7-cxCS-oCk2wDU_auZkNGw
Nadu feels insanely strong and doesn’t seem like the deck is going to fall off this card is nuts and can consistently jam wins turn after turn.
Notes: minor tournament cut to top 4 after a 3 round Swiss 60 minute rounds.
Game 1: I was going first Me(Nadu) t&k, t&k, ob nix Turn 1 dork pass turn 2 Nadu with greaves pass and on turn 3 I just went for the win into two tapped out t&k players and a obnix player that couldn’t hit coloured mana pretty simple win and I won through a mystic remora as well.
Game 2: I was going last Me(Nadu) stella Lee, ragadraga, atraxa Decent hand from what I can remember dork into turn 2 rhystic study that gets countered then a Stella Lee player tries to go for a really protected win (around turn 4) and fails after like 6 counters are blown so I go for a win on my turn another counter is blown then the game stalls out and we lose to a ragadraga player beating us to death with [[panglacial wurm]].
Game 3: I was going last again Me(Nadu), toxrill, dr Madison li, dargo ikra Ok hand mull to 5 two lands fabricate swan song and CoV kept this since I was into a jund turbo deck (looking back I really should have mulled this hand) It took me till turn 5 to hit a third land but the toxrill player slowed the game down a lot and killed the dargo ikra player with combat damage I then top decked a rhystic study and slam that out stopped a win on dr. Madison li then there was only 2 minutes left when it comes to my turn and I go for the win and get it done. Now I’m 2-1-0. So I ended in top 4. Cut to top 4.
Finales: going last again (come on man) me(Nadu) ragadraga, Nadu, tymna malcolm My hand was cracked I had 2 lands, mox diamond, mystic remora, lightning graves, dork, lotus petal but going last it was rough so I just jam out mox, fish, and the dork and pass no one feeds it it comes around to me I let to die I jam out Nadu go for a greaves it gets a forced of negation (I should have held off on casting graves) then a turn cycle goes around I draw go and the Ragadraga player goes for a win attempt and they have Vexxing Dhusher so we can’t counter anything but luckily I had Talon gates of Madara and I manage to barely stop the win. Then it’s just win attempt after win attempts going around for almost 2 hours so I can’t really write it all out eventually the other Nadu player has too many creatures and equipment out and it’s GG. My last turn I went for a Dosan trying to win but my opponent top decks a force of will off of someone feeding them cards through Rhystic study.
Massive congratulations to the other Nadu player for winning it for us Bird enjoyers.
Sad I went last 3 out of 4 games but what can you do insanely fun event getting to play Nadu in a competitive environment here’s the whole event page.
https://topdeck.gg/bracket/Icaf7Fx21BGVZTGM6WDF
Come join the Nadu discord if you are interested in this card
https://discord.gg/KY2GTBnqQX

Yo I'm bored out of my mind and I forgot how to make friends 💀. If we have any commonalities shoot me a message.
I have ADHD so honestly most of my life revolves around the things I'm interested in. So please don't bother messaging if we don't have anything in common. Id appreciate any messages where you tell me a little bit about yourself since I can start conversation more easily.
Video games are one of my biggest interests. I love Nintendo. Splatoon, Zelda, Kirby, Mario Kart, Pikmin, Smash Bros, Animal crossing etc I also have a PlayStation and I often play the Persona series, Yakuza series, GTA 5, fallguys and rhythm games like project diva/persona dancing/fortnite festival/etc. (I love vocaloid music and vocaloids in general).
I like drawing, cosplaying/going to conventions, figure collecting, sometimes reading manga. Honestly I suck at drawing but it's always been my biggest passion.
I don't watch movies and tv often but I still have some favorites. I'm mostly into horror and crime drama type stuff. I'm a big nerd about the Saw movies especially. (It's like the perfect mix of both genres). I haven't seen many anime besides trigun stampede, chainsaw man, dragon maid, blend s and some other random ones but the ones I listed are the ones id say I genuinely like. For manga I really love junji ito stories and I've been reading goodnight punpun recently.
Also im brainrotted I'm the type of person to sit through a 3 hour YouTube video essay about a random lolcow LMFAO.
Anyway it would be nice to chat about whatever! I'm down for voice chat/playing video games if we get along well.

The Sword of Chronos

Prologue
In the timeless expanse of the cosmos, where universes drift like countless specks of dust in a sunbeam, a god named Chronos reigned supreme. Unlike other deities, Chronos possessed a unique weapon—a sword forged from the essence of time itself. This blade, known as the Temporal Blade, could slice through the fabric of reality, enabling its wielder to traverse dimensions and alternate universes.
Chronos, weary of his eternal life and the immense responsibilities it carried, conceived a plan to relinquish his power. He decided to pass on the Temporal Blade and his godly abilities to a mortal worthy of such a mantle. To this end, he devised a competition, comprising seven challenges, each more daunting than the last. The winner would inherit the sword and the god's extraordinary abilities.

Chapter 1: The Call

In a humble village on Earth, lived a young man named Elian. Known for his courage and kind heart, Elian was a blacksmith's apprentice. Despite his modest upbringing, he harbored dreams of adventures beyond the mundane reality of his life.
One fateful night, as Elian worked late at the forge, a blinding light enveloped him. When he opened his eyes, he found himself in a vast, celestial hall. At the center stood a majestic figure with a luminous presence.
"Welcome, Elian," the figure intoned, his voice echoing through the hall. "I am Chronos, the god of time. I have chosen you, among others, to compete for my powers and the Temporal Blade."
Elian, though stunned, managed to ask, "Why me?"
Chronos smiled. "Because your heart is pure, and your courage is unmatched. The challenges ahead will test you beyond your limits. Should you succeed, you will wield powers beyond your imagination."

Chapter 2: The Competitors

Elian wasn't alone in this grand hall. Six other individuals from various realms stood around him. Each had been chosen for their unique qualities and strengths:

1. Liora: A fierce warrior princess from the desert realm of Aridia, known for her unmatched combat skills.
2. Finn: A clever thief from the shadowy streets of Nocturna, whose agility and cunning were legendary.
3. Arin: A gentle healer from the lush forests of Eldoria, with a deep connection to nature.
4. Kara: A sorceress from the mystical land of Zephyria, with command over elemental magic.
5. Ragnar: A formidable Viking chieftain from the icy fjords of Norrland, known for his brute strength.
6. Nyx: A mysterious assassin from the twilight world of Umbra, shrouded in secrecy and silence.

Chapter 3: The First Challenge - The Labyrinth of Echoes

Chronos led the competitors to the first challenge, a sprawling labyrinth that seemed to twist and turn in impossible ways. "This is the Labyrinth of Echoes," Chronos explained. "Within its walls, you will face your deepest fears and confront reflections of your past. Only by overcoming these trials will you find the exit."
Elian entered the labyrinth, his heart pounding. The walls seemed alive, whispering his darkest secrets and fears. He saw visions of his past—his parents' death, his struggles, and his failures. Yet, as he faced these specters, he remembered Chronos's words about courage.
Drawing strength from within, Elian confronted each fear head-on. His resolve grew with every step, and eventually, he found the exit. To his relief, he wasn't the first to emerge; Liora, Finn, and Arin were already there. Moments later, the others joined them, each bearing marks of their internal battles.

Chapter 4: The Second Challenge - The Bridge of Despair

The second challenge took place on a narrow bridge suspended over an abyss. Chronos appeared before them, his expression grave. "This is the Bridge of Despair. To cross it, you must confront a vision of your future—a future in which you fail. Only by accepting this potential outcome can you proceed."
As Elian stepped onto the bridge, a harrowing vision engulfed him. He saw himself standing before his village, defeated and broken, his dreams shattered. Despair threatened to consume him, but he remembered the courage that had carried him through the labyrinth.
With great effort, Elian accepted the vision. He understood that failure was a possibility, but it didn't define him. As he reached the other side, he saw that the others were already there, each having faced their own visions.

Chapter 5: The Third Challenge - The Mirror of Truth

The third challenge brought the competitors to a vast chamber filled with mirrors. "This is the Mirror of Truth," Chronos said. "It shows your true self, stripped of all illusions. To move forward, you must accept what you see."
Elian gazed into the mirror, his reflection gradually changing to reveal his deepest flaws and insecurities. He saw his fears of inadequacy and his struggles with self-doubt. Tears filled his eyes, but he didn't look away. Accepting his flaws, he embraced the image before him.
As Elian stepped away from the mirror, he saw the others emerging from their reflections, each looking more resolved. They were growing stronger with every challenge.

Chapter 6: The Fourth Challenge - The River of Memories

The next challenge led them to a tranquil river flowing through a serene valley. "This is the River of Memories," Chronos explained. "You must cross it, but as you do, you will relive your most painful memories. Only by accepting these memories can you reach the other side."
Elian stepped into the river, and instantly, memories flooded his mind—his parents' deaths, his struggles as an orphan, and the moments of despair that had shaped his life. Pain washed over him, but he understood that these memories were part of who he was.
With each step, the burden lightened, and by the time he reached the other side, he felt a profound sense of peace. The others crossed the river as well, their expressions a mixture of pain and acceptance.

Chapter 7: The Fifth Challenge - The Mountain of Resolve

The fifth challenge took the competitors to the base of a towering mountain. "This is the Mountain of Resolve," Chronos said. "To reach the summit, you must push beyond your physical and mental limits. Only those with unyielding determination will succeed."
Elian began the ascent, the path steep and treacherous. Every muscle in his body screamed in protest, and his mind wavered under the strain. Yet, he remembered his dreams of adventure and the hope that had brought him this far.
Drawing strength from within, Elian pushed forward, one step at a time. Hours passed, and just as he thought he could go no further, he reached the summit. The others arrived shortly after, their faces etched with exhaustion but also a fierce determination.

Chapter 8: The Sixth Challenge - The Field of Unity

The sixth challenge unfolded in a vast field, where Chronos awaited them. "This is the Field of Unity," he said. "To succeed, you must work together. This challenge will test your ability to cooperate and trust each other."
The competitors faced a series of obstacles that required their combined efforts. Elian, with his blacksmith skills, crafted tools to help them navigate the challenges. Liora and Ragnar used their strength to move boulders, while Finn and Nyx utilized their agility to scout ahead. Kara and Arin provided support with their magic and healing abilities.
Through their combined efforts, they overcame each obstacle, forging bonds of trust and camaraderie. By the time they completed the challenge, they had become a cohesive team.

Chapter 9: The Seventh Challenge - The Final Confrontation

The final challenge took place in a grand arena, where Chronos stood at the center, holding the Temporal Blade. "This is the ultimate test," he declared. "To prove yourself worthy of my powers, you must face me in combat. Only one of you can emerge victorious."
The competitors knew this would be their greatest trial. Elian, despite the friendships he had forged, steeled himself for the battle ahead. One by one, they faced Chronos, each showcasing their unique skills and abilities.
When it was Elian's turn, he felt a surge of determination. He fought with all his might, drawing on everything he had learned from the previous challenges. His strikes were precise, his movements fluid. Chronos, impressed by Elian's growth and spirit, pushed him to his limits.
As the battle reached its climax, Elian managed to disarm Chronos, the Temporal Blade falling at his feet. He stood before the god, breathless but victorious.

Epilogue

Chronos smiled, a look of pride in his eyes. "You have proven yourself worthy, Elian. The Temporal Blade and my powers are yours."
As Elian took the sword, a surge of energy coursed through him. He felt his perception of time expand, his senses heightened. He knew he was now capable of traversing dimensions and altering reality itself.
The other competitors, though disappointed, congratulated Elian. They had come to respect and admire him through their shared trials.
Chronos, now free from his burdens, looked at Elian with a sense of fulfillment. "Use these powers wisely, Elian. Remember the lessons you have learned and the friends you have made."
Elian nodded, the weight of his new responsibilities sinking in. As he prepared to step into his new role, he knew that his adventures were just beginning. With the Temporal Blade in hand, he was ready to explore the infinite possibilities of the multiverse, bringing hope and justice wherever he went.
And so, Elian, the blacksmith's apprentice turned god, embarked on a journey across time and space, his heart filled with courage and determination, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.
4oThe Sword of Chronos

Prologue

In the timeless expanse of the cosmos, where universes drift like countless specks of dust in a sunbeam, a god named Chronos reigned supreme. Unlike other deities, Chronos possessed a unique weapon—a sword forged from the essence of time itself. This blade, known as the Temporal Blade, could slice through the fabric of reality, enabling its wielder to traverse dimensions and alternate universes.
Chronos, weary of his eternal life and the immense responsibilities it carried, conceived a plan to relinquish his power. He decided to pass on the Temporal Blade and his godly abilities to a mortal worthy of such a mantle. To this end, he devised a competition, comprising seven challenges, each more daunting than the last. The winner would inherit the sword and the god's extraordinary abilities.

Chapter 1: The Call

In a humble village on Earth, lived a young man named Elian. Known for his courage and kind heart, Elian was a blacksmith's apprentice. Despite his modest upbringing, he harbored dreams of adventures beyond the mundane reality of his life.
One fateful night, as Elian worked late at the forge, a blinding light enveloped him. When he opened his eyes, he found himself in a vast, celestial hall. At the center stood a majestic figure with a luminous presence.
"Welcome, Elian," the figure intoned, his voice echoing through the hall. "I am Chronos, the god of time. I have chosen you, among others, to compete for my powers and the Temporal Blade."
Elian, though stunned, managed to ask, "Why me?"
Chronos smiled. "Because your heart is pure, and your courage is unmatched. The challenges ahead will test you beyond your limits. Should you succeed, you will wield powers beyond your imagination."

Chapter 2: The Competitors

Elian wasn't alone in this grand hall. Six other individuals from various realms stood around him. Each had been chosen for their unique qualities and strengths:

1. Liora: A fierce warrior princess from the desert realm of Aridia, known for her unmatched combat skills.
2. Finn: A clever thief from the shadowy streets of Nocturna, whose agility and cunning were legendary.
3. Arin: A gentle healer from the lush forests of Eldoria, with a deep connection to nature.
4. Kara: A sorceress from the mystical land of Zephyria, with command over elemental magic.
5. Ragnar: A formidable Viking chieftain from the icy fjords of Norrland, known for his brute strength.
6. Nyx: A mysterious assassin from the twilight world of Umbra, shrouded in secrecy and silence.

Chapter 3: The First Challenge - The Labyrinth of Echoes

Chronos led the competitors to the first challenge, a sprawling labyrinth that seemed to twist and turn in impossible ways. "This is the Labyrinth of Echoes," Chronos explained. "Within its walls, you will face your deepest fears and confront reflections of your past. Only by overcoming these trials will you find the exit."
Elian entered the labyrinth, his heart pounding. The walls seemed alive, whispering his darkest secrets and fears. He saw visions of his past—his parents' death, his struggles, and his failures. Yet, as he faced these specters, he remembered Chronos's words about courage.
Drawing strength from within, Elian confronted each fear head-on. His resolve grew with every step, and eventually, he found the exit. To his relief, he wasn't the first to emerge; Liora, Finn, and Arin were already there. Moments later, the others joined them, each bearing marks of their internal battles.

Chapter 4: The Second Challenge - The Bridge of Despair

The second challenge took place on a narrow bridge suspended over an abyss. Chronos appeared before them, his expression grave. "This is the Bridge of Despair. To cross it, you must confront a vision of your future—a future in which you fail. Only by accepting this potential outcome can you proceed."
As Elian stepped onto the bridge, a harrowing vision engulfed him. He saw himself standing before his village, defeated and broken, his dreams shattered. Despair threatened to consume him, but he remembered the courage that had carried him through the labyrinth.
With great effort, Elian accepted the vision. He understood that failure was a possibility, but it didn't define him. As he reached the other side, he saw that the others were already there, each having faced their own visions.

Chapter 5: The Third Challenge - The Mirror of Truth

The third challenge brought the competitors to a vast chamber filled with mirrors. "This is the Mirror of Truth," Chronos said. "It shows your true self, stripped of all illusions. To move forward, you must accept what you see."
Elian gazed into the mirror, his reflection gradually changing to reveal his deepest flaws and insecurities. He saw his fears of inadequacy and his struggles with self-doubt. Tears filled his eyes, but he didn't look away. Accepting his flaws, he embraced the image before him.
As Elian stepped away from the mirror, he saw the others emerging from their reflections, each looking more resolved. They were growing stronger with every challenge.

Chapter 6: The Fourth Challenge - The River of Memories

The next challenge led them to a tranquil river flowing through a serene valley. "This is the River of Memories," Chronos explained. "You must cross it, but as you do, you will relive your most painful memories. Only by accepting these memories can you reach the other side."
Elian stepped into the river, and instantly, memories flooded his mind—his parents' deaths, his struggles as an orphan, and the moments of despair that had shaped his life. Pain washed over him, but he understood that these memories were part of who he was.
With each step, the burden lightened, and by the time he reached the other side, he felt a profound sense of peace. The others crossed the river as well, their expressions a mixture of pain and acceptance.

Chapter 7: The Fifth Challenge - The Mountain of Resolve

The fifth challenge took the competitors to the base of a towering mountain. "This is the Mountain of Resolve," Chronos said. "To reach the summit, you must push beyond your physical and mental limits. Only those with unyielding determination will succeed."
Elian began the ascent, the path steep and treacherous. Every muscle in his body screamed in protest, and his mind wavered under the strain. Yet, he remembered his dreams of adventure and the hope that had brought him this far.
Drawing strength from within, Elian pushed forward, one step at a time. Hours passed, and just as he thought he could go no further, he reached the summit. The others arrived shortly after, their faces etched with exhaustion but also a fierce determination.

Chapter 8: The Sixth Challenge - The Field of Unity

The sixth challenge unfolded in a vast field, where Chronos awaited them. "This is the Field of Unity," he said. "To succeed, you must work together. This challenge will test your ability to cooperate and trust each other."
The competitors faced a series of obstacles that required their combined efforts. Elian, with his blacksmith skills, crafted tools to help them navigate the challenges. Liora and Ragnar used their strength to move boulders, while Finn and Nyx utilized their agility to scout ahead. Kara and Arin provided support with their magic and healing abilities.
Through their combined efforts, they overcame each obstacle, forging bonds of trust and camaraderie. By the time they completed the challenge, they had become a cohesive team.

Chapter 9: The Seventh Challenge - The Final Confrontation

The final challenge took place in a grand arena, where Chronos stood at the center, holding the Temporal Blade. "This is the ultimate test," he declared. "To prove yourself worthy of my powers, you must face me in combat. Only one of you can emerge victorious."
The competitors knew this would be their greatest trial. Elian, despite the friendships he had forged, steeled himself for the battle ahead. One by one, they faced Chronos, each showcasing their unique skills and abilities.
When it was Elian's turn, he felt a surge of determination. He fought with all his might, drawing on everything he had learned from the previous challenges. His strikes were precise, his movements fluid. Chronos, impressed by Elian's growth and spirit, pushed him to his limits.
As the battle reached its climax, Elian managed to disarm Chronos, the Temporal Blade falling at his feet. He stood before the god, breathless but victorious.

Epilogue

Chronos smiled, a look of pride in his eyes. "You have proven yourself worthy, Elian. The Temporal Blade and my powers are yours."
As Elian took the sword, a surge of energy coursed through him. He felt his perception of time expand, his senses heightened. He knew he was now capable of traversing dimensions and altering reality itself.
The other competitors, though disappointed, congratulated Elian. They had come to respect and admire him through their shared trials.
Chronos, now free from his burdens, looked at Elian with a sense of fulfillment. "Use these powers wisely, Elian. Remember the lessons you have learned and the friends you have made."
Elian nodded, the weight of his new responsibilities sinking in. As he prepared to step into his new role, he knew that his adventures were just beginning. With the Temporal Blade in hand, he was ready to explore the infinite possibilities of the multiverse, bringing hope and justice wherever he went.
And so, Elian, the blacksmith's apprentice turned god, embarked on a journey across time and space, his heart filled with courage and determination, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.
PART 2

The words finally came out of my mouth! Honestly i'm feeling sad and empty, but i don't wanna go back. It's been a dreadful 4 years.
when i first met him, he hadn't get over his ex. he would go on dates and he would only talked about what he btch she was. he commented about how fat i was, and how i couldn't style my own clothes, and that i needed to exercise. almost 2 years of that and i was resentful. we would fought all the time, until 2am if we had too.
then in october 2022, he broke up with me over the phone at 11pm. later i found out he had a crush on someone. also at the time i lost my job due to the company's budget. it was the harderst days of my life. i kept chasing him months after he broke up with me. but he rarely responded. i was crazy at that moment, i admit.
then in febuary 2023, just after valentine's day, he dm'd me and asked to call. turned out, his company closed and he was laid off. he asked me to help him find a job. then after his introduction about losing his job, he started telling me about this girl he likes. he met this girl on september, just a month before we broke up. i ended up listening to him talking about his new crush, and i was mad at him, but couldn't run away. i know it was stupid. then the girl ended up rejecting him. then he came back to me again.
now fast forward to today. he's currently unemployed because he quits job. been a month with no luck finding a new one. and lately talking to him is like talking to a wall. i would say i love him before bed, and he feels like it's okay to leave it hanging with no reply till the next day. and i got mad at him for that, then he said i overreacted, because he's not doing anything just at home.
then this is whete things just breaks off. he complains that i don't respect him enough because whatever advice he gave me, i wouldn't actually do it. i told him, yea sure but i have my own thoughts and decision. and he goes on and on about me not respecting him. i mean, he looks at other women on social media, he has made it clear to me that i am not his type, he never said he loves me, he never plan dates (usually he avoids anything "expensive" eventho a cheap well thought dates would be nice), then he goes on and on about how i don't trust him, and how i don't let him lead the relationship. literally today, i should've had my period today, and i'm pms ing hard. i have told him this, too, but he seems to not care. so in that conversation, i broke down in tears, and i told him i don't want this anymore. then i blocked him.
it has only been a few hours. i felt peace at first. then now i feel sad and empty. but i really really don't wanna go back to him
my story might be one sided to my pov. but i just need to have this off my chest. i haven't told about this to anyone. i feel embarassed about breaking up with him the second time. because everyone in my family knows how broken i was when he broke up with me, yet i still accepted him back.
i don't know if i want to date again after this. after 4 years i have a lot of anger, and it's been traumatizing. i do want a family someday, so i hope i will find a good man in the future. for now i have to keep no contact with him.

Wow, 167 was a pretty great chapter of Chainsaw Man Part 2! This is a fascinating new development between our two leads, simultaneously being gross, awkward, and morally dubious. I can’t wait to see what other people are feeling about this chapter, so let’s log onto reddit and/or twitter, and…
Oh, ok. While my expectations for online fandoms are in hell, the reactions to this chapter have managed to limbo under that bar. There’s a lot that’s frustrating, from the gooners to the puriteens, but what’s most concerning is some of the talk about consent. Y’know, when I started studying at uni everyone had to take a course about consent, which was pretty easy to pass, and I was shocked at how some people managed to fail it. Seeing some of the discourse about consent between Denji/Yoru/Asa has made things a bit more depressing, with some comments making me concerned about the commenters ever entering a sexual situation. So, let me give you a crash course on desire and consent, partially to predict what may happen next, but mostly because jesus christ some of you need to read this.
TL;DR: what happened in 167 was definitely some level of non-consent, which is kinda fucked up. The potential for future character drama off of this encounter is extremely interesting

Part 1: What consent do?

OK, in sex every single participant should actively want to be there, and should be OK with every deed they do, with no coercion or deception involved. If that isn’t the case, there’s a special four-letter word for that. Correspondingly, every participant should want to know what everyone else feels during sex, to avoid stepping on that particular landmine.
While you technically can have consensual sex without establishing verbal consent, this is risky and potentially dangerous as you can’t fully rely on body language - you may infer something from your partner that they do not necessarily mean. There have been more than a few situations IRL where one person assumes something that the other does not want, leading to horrible outcomes. Therefore, you should establish verbal consent during sex, so everyone can have a safe and fun time. Also, past consent does not guarantee future consent - if you had a good time with someone last night, they might not be up for it tonight for any number of reasons (e.g. having mental issues), and you should respect that. Similarly, consent to one act is not carte-blanche consent to any other act. In addition, and I cannot believe I need to say this, it is possible for a partner to orgasm even if they do not want to be having sex.
Some of the biggest dipshits online take this as “do you need to sign a contract at every step to establish consent??? Smh my head liberals gone woke”, which a) I do not want to be alone in a room with those fuckers and b) establishing consent doesn’t need to be an ordeal! You can literally say “you good?” and get confirmation from that. Even if it does slightly interrupt your flow (and, from experience, it doesn’t actually do that), it’s infinitely better to be safe than sorry.
There is also the very important aspect of “without coercion”. If the other person has been put in this situation by force or implied punishment - e.g. if they wouldn’t be given a promotion without participating, or if you held a knife to their dick - then even if they say the words “yes I want to have sex”, you definitely shouldn’t! Similar for deception - if you lie about who you are, or what you’re doing (e.g. ‘stealthing’ condoms which is legit sickening), that’s genuinely fucked up. Basically, be a functional human being about this, have sex with people who want to have sex with you.
Right - consent crash course done, you passed, good for you, here’s your course credits. See also here for a good run-down. You now know what to do if you are in a sexual situation in real life, hooray. However, fiction is all about drama, often in messed-up situations, so…

Part 2: Consent in 167, or “wow this is fucked from multiple angles”

To the chapter itself! It’s a really interesting exploration of desire, how feelings can manifest themselves, and how these manifestations can be unhealthy. Let’s establish the dynamics amongst our three participants, and run through the situation:

• Denji: Our resident horndog wants to have sex, and he has established feelings towards Asa (see: aquarium, convo with Nayuta just before the house burns down). As a reader we can probably assume he would be OK with having sex with Asa, even in the back of an alley. However, he is currently mentally distraught due to everything that’s been happening, so he might not want to have sex at this current point in time (especially after breaking down over his sex drive ~2 minutes ago). In addition, he was kinda distressed with the idea that Asa would cut off his dick. Crucially, Denji does not know that Yoru exists as a separate entity who possesses Asa’s body.
  
• Asa: Asa has strong feelings towards Denji, and Chainsaw Man (who she knows is Denji). I can imagine that she would want to have sex with Denji at some point in their relationship. I am less convinced that she would want to do so right here and now, especially considering her aversion to bodily fluids. It’s safe to assume that she has not discussed body-possession with regards to sex with Yoru.
  
• Yoru: Yoru does whatever the fuck she wants. If she wants to kiss someone, she will, regardless of their feelings about it (see the post-aquarium date). I am pretty confident that the War Devil is one of the people who failed the consent course. Her feelings with regards to Denji are intermingled with Asa’s, so she may want to have sex with Denji, but fundamentally the situation is under her control - she chooses to take over the shared body whenever she wants, and she does whatever she wants with it.
  

There is a level of ambiguity to what happened in the chapter, due to the nature of the drawings, and to the lack of verbal communication after the initial kiss. However, following our rules, we can reasonably infer what was happening:

• Denji was initially frightened of ‘Asa’ due to the whole cutting off his dick thing. He did not initiate the kissing or the genital grabbing, however he did seem to reciprocate after the dick cutting was put off the table. At this point in time it’s not clear if he was ‘giving in’ (bleh) or actually into it and consenting (KEY POINT: THIS IS WHY, IRL, VERBAL CONSENT IS IMPORTANT). He orgasms, but as established this does not necessarily mean he consented to sex. I lean towards him willingly reciprocating towards the end, but even so the initial conditions were deeply messed up, AND he was also deceived by the whole body-swap thing. Speaking of…
  
• Yoru forcibly grabbed Denji’s dick and balls with no regards to Denji’s feelings - at the time, he was scared. She kissed him first, first out of dominance(?), and then she kinda got into the mood, maybe due to feeling desire towards Denji through Asa. She did not pay any heed to what Denji or Asa wanted in this encounter - their consent (or lack of it) meant nothing.
  
• Asa was not involved with any of this, as an observer in her own body. We do not know if she wanted to have sex at this moment, as Yoru was in control. Side note: sometimes the pair are shown together in the manga, sometimes only one is shown at a time, as it’s mainly a paneling/perspective thing. There is no evidence that they were acting together here, this was purely in Yoru’s control. Asa only regained her body as Denji orgasmed, insert EoE reference here.
  

So yeah, this is a fucked up situation! I do not think it is wrong to say that Yoru is a grapist. To be 100% clear, this is pretty fantastic in terms of character drama, and I am extremely interested in seeing how each participant will react in future. I imagine that even if Denji was into it towards the end he might be weirded out/feeling like he was taken advantage of (potentially feeling betrayed when the Asa/Yoru split comes to light), Asa will most likely feel violated, and Yoru’s just kinda eating popcorn in the background. The fact that Asa and Denji are actually into each other will make things even more complicated. Ultimately, the Asa/Denji relationship will almost certainly be put on the rocks from this, and it’ll be a significant struggle to repair it, so we have a lot of drama potential in play.
Whatever the case, I imagine that the ramifications of this are not going to be fully explored within the span of the next chapter. We’ll most likely see the initial reactions, which could run the whole gamut from angry to shocked to grossed-out to embarrassed. The full feelings of each character may only emerge in the later stages of this part! One thing we DEFINITELY won’t see is each character turning to the audience and directly explaining their feelings and emotional state. This is because Fujimoto has faith in his audience, which frankly is very optimistic of him, but even so the next few chapters will be very interesting

i (18y) have been abused by my parents and grandparents for as long as i can remember. my first memory is my grandad approaching me as i was sat down on a potty (one of those weird plastic toilets toddlers have) and picking my up by my shoulders. he screams something at me before he puts me down and slaps me across the face. i was about 3 years old. i feel the best way to talk about this lifetime of abuse is to tell it in chronological order from the best of my ability (my memory surrounding certrain things is hazy as for a while i tried to forget as much of this as i could)
firstly i think its important to give some information about my mum and dad. my dad was 17 when i was born and i believe my mum was 21. he lied to her about his age. my dad is addicted to weed and i know for a time he was addicted to coke too. i remember he would often get arrested a lot. he would also say he was leaving us but return hours later very clearly off his face on coke and whatever else. my mum is a very manipulative and emotionally abusive woman. when i was 7, i witnessed her kiss another man in front of me. we later on found out that they had been seeing each other for ages behind my dads back. i havent been able to forgive her for that. it's also important to note i have many siblings (i wont say how many as i have already given a lot of telling information and do not want my family to know ive typed and posted this, many of my family members use reddit).
from the age of 5, i remember getting beatings almost daily from my mum or dad. these would be for the most minor of things such as forgetting to flush the toilet or turning the tv up a little bit too loud. these weren't little taps either, i got fully manhandled and punched. often i remember my dad pinning my down so my back is facing upwards, he would hold my hands around my back while my mum would hit me on my ass until it was red raw. no one can justify that. sometimes it wasn't always my parents though. sometimes they would call my grandad. for such a long time the word grandad evoked so much fear in me. when i was told he was coming over i would run to my room, but on as many layers of clothes as i could and hid under my blanket. when he arrived, he would berate me about how much of a disgusting little cunt i was before he would punch me in my face and all over my body. often i would have bruises as a kid, i dont know how teachers at school didn't pick up on it. i remember one Christmas eve my xbox account wasn't working (cant remember why) and this understandably upset me, i was 8 after all. my dad called my grandad over, and i did the same routine. clothes on, over the covers and pray he doesn't hit me too hard this time. this time was different though. he came into my room and pulled me out of my bed by my arm and threw me down the stairs. i ran into the living room where my nana was. she slapped me in my face so hard i fell to the ground. i tried to run out of the room only for my grandad to push me back into it. i was made to sit on the couch while i got called the most horrific names. i was so scared i wet myself and couldn't stop shaking. i was 8 years old.
not long after Christmas, it was my birthday. i got disney infinity and a bunch of the little figures to go with it. for months this was my hyper fixation, i would play it daily and completed everyone one of the story set things i had. one day my grandad came over, and he started his usual borage of insults. he turns to my organized disney infinity figures resting upon my xbox 360 (jesus im old) and kicks them all over just avoiding the xbox. he then turns around and leaves. he broke so many of the figures, i cried for hours and hours in my room alone. no one came to check on me. the figures being broken hurt so much more than the beatings i was now used to.
from this point onwards, things are a little fuzzy. i move house a few times and am now in secondary school. im 13 years old, and questioning my sexuality heavily. i get into fights both inside and outside of school and have started smoking cigarettes. the physically abuse had stopped, but the emotional abuse had got worse. at the time i was a very fat kid. i would eat to feel better. my dad would often call me fat and insult me for everything i did. every song i played, booked i read and film i watched. he would rip into me daily for no reason at all. he would often say if i wasn't his kid and he saw me when he was a kid he'd beat the fuck out of me. when i was 15, life started to get a bit better. i found a group of friends that liked me, i was no longer questioning my sexuality and was fully comfortable saying i was pan-sexual. i also started to smoke weed with my best friend, which has given us some of the best memories. in the summer of that year, we got evicted from our home and had to move into an emergency house. this was hell, and one of the worst times of my life. i slept on the couch and my pc was in the kitchen where often my little siblings would throw food on it and try to tip if over. my parents did nothing to stop this. the insults still followed and i was made to feel so insignificant and small. the most i slept in the 4 months we lived there was 5 hours a night. one time my dad was berating me and he got in my face because i said something back to him. he pinned me against the wall by my t shirt. for the first time, i felt all of the rage i had kept bottled up since i was a kid overflow and i punched him square in the face. he fell back and looked at me in shock. my mum rushed to his defense and screamed at me to leave. i left for a few hours until my dad called me and told me to come home. we haven't spoken of it since.
now i am 18. i am in the last few days of college then im off to university. the emotional abuse still continues and there are so many things that im leaving out for the sake of length. i could genuinely write a novella about all of this shit. i am not sure what to do moving forward. i really want to block them out and live my life peacefully and free. however, whenever i think about doing this i feel really guilty. luckily i have an amazing and supportive partner who is helping me make sense of all of this. the scars still feel fresh. for anyone who is in a similar situation but has years to wait before they can leave, keep your head up. right now i know it is hell and it seems like there is no end. my best advice is find something you love and cling onto it, passion is found in the darkest of place. in my case, it was films. you are not crazy or being sensitive, it is abuse.
any question feel free to ask, thank you for listening.
EDIT: sorry if some of this makes no sense im dyslexic haha

Posting this here bc none of my friends are as into Twenty One Pilots as I am and I felt like if anyone would get it, it would be this sub…
Oldies Station. Oh, man. Where do I begin. When I first listened to Clancy and the intro started, I was a bit dubious bc it’s so different from the rest of the album, right? But by the end of the song I was full on SOBBING. I was driving at the time and it was raining and I was at a red light and then Tyler starts singing about how long red lights are taking and it just… felt like the universe aligned.
I’m 27 and I’ve been a Clikkie since I was 18. The boys have been there through some major life changes – high school and my first job (first four albums), going to uni (Trench), meeting new people, and just finding myself throughout. Things have been pretty rough this year – I was officially diagnosed with ADHD and put on meds, was terminated from a longtime job I really loved, hit a plateau with my Master’s dissertation and was going nowhere, and went through several rough patches with some of the most important people in my life.
For a while, everything felt like it was crumbling down, and that my life was going nowhere. I haven’t been suicidal in a long time, but this year quite a few of those old feelings started coming back. For a while, it felt like nothing I did mattered any more, and that I would never feel the joy and contentment I’d worked so hard to achieve. I was stuck in several bad places, and I came this close to giving up.
Then I listened to Oldies Station (and the rest of the album too – definitely one of my favs). I’d resonated with a lot of their songs ofc, but to me, at this point of my life, nothing had ever felt more poignant, more bittersweet, more honest, more… hopeful than Oldies Station. In a season where I’m finding myself, where sometimes I feel like I’m back to the drawing board – back to when I was 17 and didn’t have any clue where life was going, only that I wanted it to end –, where things I used to love seem like they’re leaving, all I can do – all any of us can do, really – is to push on through.
And push on through, I will.
Tldr: Oldies Station came at a time I needed it most. Am seriously considering getting it tatted, even. Stay alive, frens -/

As if in response to his words, the rain began to pour down in torrents. I scanned the area frantically, searching for shelter from the deluge. My eyes landed on a nearby gazebo, its roof providing a semblance of protection from the elements. I pointed it out to Lily and Mark, and without hesitation, we hurried over and huddled together beneath its flimsy shelter.
As we stood there, trying to formulate a plan, I couldn't help but notice the water cascading down from the mountaintop, converging into streams that flowed ominously toward the town below.
"It's going to flood," I stated, my voice trembling with uncertainty. I racked my brain, desperately trying to devise a course of action in the face of impending disaster.
Lily shot me a look of concern, her brows furrowed with worry, while Mark's head whipped around in my direction, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief.
"What? How do you know?" Mark demanded, his voice cracking with anxiety.
"Look," I replied, pointing towards the only road leading in and out of the town situated atop the mountain.
As Lily and Mark turned to follow my gaze, their eyes widened in horror. The road had transformed into a raging torrent, resembling more of a waterfall than a thoroughfare.
"Fuck," Mark muttered under his breath, his voice heavy with dread.
"We have to find somewhere elevated, away from the ground," I insisted, scanning our surroundings for potential refuge.
"There!" Lily exclaimed suddenly, pointing towards the Library, which was not far in the distance. Perched on the side of the mountain, it was accessible only via a flight of stairs. Its elevated position promised some degree of safety from the rising waters, and its sturdy roof offered protection from the relentless downpour.
"Okay, let's go!" I declared, breaking into a sprint towards the Library. The building was within reach after just a few minutes of brisk running. As I reached the steps, water cascaded down from above, creating a makeshift waterfall that made the climb treacherous but manageable. Determinedly, I ascended the stairs, each step bringing me closer to safety.
As I reached the top of the stairs and glanced back down, my heart sank at the sight of Lily and Mark still struggling to reach safety. "Let's go! Hurry!" I shouted over the din of the storm, my voice barely audible amidst the howling winds and pounding rain.
Lily dashed towards me with determination, but Mark remained rooted in the spot, paralyzed by fear.
"Mark, come on! Let's go!" I urged, my voice tinged with urgency. But just then, a deafening roar echoed through the valley, freezing us all in our tracks. It was the same roar we'd heard earlier. Still, now it was closer and had a chilling amalgamation of animalistic cries and human-like roars, resonating with an eerie intensity.
Breaking free from the spell of terror, I shouted again, "Come on, Mark! You're almost here!"
As Lily struggled against the rising tide of the cascading water coming down the stairs, I reached out to her, my hand extended in a desperate attempt to pull her to safety. She stumbled, but I managed to grasp her arm and haul her up the rest of the steps.
Glancing down, I saw Mark finally lurch into motion, his movements labored as he fought against the now ankle-deep water. With every step, he seemed to expend what little energy he had left.
"Mark, you can do it! Just a little further!" Lily's voice echoed through the storm, urging him on.
But as Mark neared the stairs, the water flowing down the steps surged with newfound force, threatening to sweep him away. With a burst of adrenaline, he pushed himself forward, his fingers grazing mine for a fleeting moment before the current overwhelmed him.
Helplessly, Lily and I watched as Mark was carried downstream, his screams of terror echoing through the valley. And then, as if summoned by the chaos, a monstrous figure appeared out of the shadows in the street.
Standing tall and menacing amid the storm, it was like something out of a nightmare. A grotesque fusion of man and beast, its black fur matted and patchy, its human-like face contorted into a snarling, canine visage.
As the creature locked eyes with Mark, it lunged forward with terrifying speed, its massive form crashing down upon him in a flurry of claws and fangs. Mark's screams pierced the night air, a haunting symphony of agony and despair that sent shivers down my spine.
Unable to bear the horror unfolding before us, Lily turned away, her face twisted in anguish as she fought back tears. As the creature dragged Mark into the darkness, I felt a cold chill run down my spine, a chilling reminder of the darkness within the heart of the Raven's Nest.
As I watched in horror, the creature tore into Mark's body with savage ferocity, reducing him to nothing more than a bloody mass of flesh. Its eyes met mine for a fleeting moment, sending a chill down my spine as it snatched up what remained of Mark and vanished into the darkness.
With trembling hands, Lily pulled me into the Library and hastily barricaded the door with a bookcase. My mind reeled with shock and disbelief, unable to process the gruesome scene that had just unfolded before my eyes.
"Rory, Rory, snap out of it!" Lily's voice pierced through the fog of my mind, her words a distant echo as I struggled to regain my composure. Her soothing touch and gentle words slowly brought me back to reality, the weight of what had just transpired crashing down upon me like a tidal wave.
I found myself hyperventilating, gasping for air as panic threatened to overwhelm me. Lily held me close, her arms a lifeline amid the chaos, calming my racing heart and guiding me back from the brink of despair.
It wasn't the first time I had experienced such a paralyzing reaction to trauma. The memories of our parents' passing flooded back, the pain and grief still raw after all these years. And now, faced with the brutal reality of Mark's demise, I felt myself slipping into that familiar state of shock once again.
Lily's tears mingled with mine as we huddled on the cold library floor, seeking solace in each other's embrace. The distant sounds of the monster devouring its prey served as a grim reminder of the danger that lurked just beyond our makeshift barricade.
In that moment of despair, all we could do was hold onto each other, finding strength in our shared grief and determination to survive. But deep down, I knew that the nightmare was far from over and that the horrors of the Raven's Nest had only begun.
Lily drifted off into sleep relatively quickly. She needed the rest; despite being twenty-seven, she was still young, and the day's events had taken their toll on her. I couldn't help but reminisce about our childhood memories when I used to affectionately refer to her as "Lil Sister." Those memories brought a sense of comfort amidst the chaos, and as I dwelled on them, I felt myself being pulled into the embrace of sleep.
Before long, I, too, succumbed to exhaustion, the weight of the day finally catching up with me. As I drifted off into slumber, memories of simpler times danced through my mind, mingling with the events of the present in a surreal dreamscape. And as the tendrils of sleep enveloped me, I found solace in the fleeting moments of tranquility amidst the chaos of the Raven's Nest.
I bolted awake at the sound of crashing, instantly alert and searching for Lily in the darkness. My eyes hadn't yet adjusted, so I fumbled in my bag for a flashlight, my heart pounding with anxiety. As the beam of light pierced the darkness, I swept it around the room, desperately seeking any sign of my sister. Then, another crash echoed from the direction of the basement stairs, labeled ominously in the dim light.
Normally, I'd have hesitated to descend into such a foreboding place, but with Lily missing, I had no choice. Slowly, cautiously, I made my way down the stairs, the beam of light casting eerie shadows on the damp walls.
The sound of running water grew louder with each step, and when I rounded the corner, I was met with the sight of the flooded basement. Something stirred in the murky depths, a figure moving in the dim light at the room's far end. My heart raced as I approached, the water sloshing around my ankles with each step. And then, in the faint glow of the flashlight, I saw her: Lily, struggling against an unseen force, her movements frantic and desperate.
I waded through the waist-deep water, my movements sluggish against the pressure, trying to reach Lily as she struggled against something unseen. The rustling and grunting ceased as I pushed forward, the urgency building with each step.
"Lily, what's going on?" I called out, my voice strained with concern.
"Rory?" Lily's voice came from the other end of the room, surprisingly calm.
Finally reaching her, I found Lily hidden behind a stack of boxes, her attention fixed on a metal ammunition box she'd uncovered.
"What the hell are you doing?" I whispered urgently.
"Maybe there's something in here we can use against... whatever the fuck that thing is," Lily replied, her voice tinged with desperation as she attempted to pry the box open, to no avail.
"Bring it upstairs, and maybe we can find something to open it," I suggested in a hushed tone, my nerves on edge as I scanned our surroundings for any sign of danger.
Lily's frustration seemed to dissipate into resignation as she met my gaze. Together, we began to wade back through the flooded basement, our senses heightened by the impending danger. Suddenly, the tranquility of our surroundings shattered as the front door upstairs, our only means of escape out of the building, sounded like it was violently torn from its hinges, the sound echoing through the basement like a harbinger of doom.
The heavy, ominous footsteps of the creature reverberated through the air, accompanied by the unsettling growl of its breath. It was clear that our presence had been detected, and the beast was now descending into the basement, drawing closer with each passing moment. Panic seized me as I realized the gravity of our situation - we were trapped, with nowhere to run and the relentless pursuit of the unknown closing in on us.
"Shh..." I hushed urgently, motioning for Lily to hide behind the boxes with me as the ominous sound of the creature's approach grew nearer. Despite the impending danger, Lily remained fixated on the ammunition box, her determination evident in her efforts to unlock it quietly.
"Stop," I whispered with growing frustration, attempting to draw her attention away from the futile task. However, it seemed as though she was wholly absorbed in her mission, impervious to my attempts to redirect her focus. Desperation gnawed at me as I realized the precariousness of our situation, with the creature closing in and Lily oblivious to the imminent threat, likely due to the shock of the day's events.
The monster's presence in the basement sent a chill down my spine as I peered cautiously from behind the boxes, taking in its imposing figure. Despite the water being waist deep for me, the creature waded through effortlessly, its massive form towering over us. Its keen senses were evident as it sniffed the air, detecting our presence with unsettling accuracy.
As Lily's persistent efforts finally paid off and the box squeaked open, her triumphant expression quickly shifted to one of realization and dread as the monster roared in response. The deafening sound reverberated through the basement, causing me to instinctively cover my ears in a futile attempt to block it out. Amidst the roar, I could discern an underlying tone that chilled me to the core—a human-like cry buried within the beast's primal roar, as if someone were pleading for mercy.
With adrenaline coursing through my veins, I lunged to the side, pulling Lily with me as we narrowly avoided the charging monster. For a moment, I thought we had escaped unharmed, but my relief turned to horror when Lily's scream pierced the air. Glancing down, my heart sank as I witnessed the gruesome sight—her leg had been violently torn from her body, leaving a trail of blood that tainted the water around us, a vivid crimson. The agony etched on her face mirrored the shock and helplessness I felt at that moment.
The sight before me was a nightmare made real. My mind recoiled at the grotesque spectacle unfolding as the monster tore into Lily's severed leg with savage abandon. Blood sprayed in every direction, mingling with the water to create a chilling tableau of horror. Each crunch and tear of flesh echoed in the cramped basement, a grotesque symphony of violence.
For a moment, I was frozen in shock, unable to comprehend the sheer brutality of what I was witnessing. It felt like time had slowed to a crawl, trapping me in this macabre scene of primal savagery. The monster's inhuman appetite seemed insatiable as it devoured Lily's flesh from her forcefully amputated leg, indifferent to her screams of agony as she lay not even fifteen feet away from it, screaming in pain.
As I watched in horrified fascination, a sickening realization dawned on me: we were not dealing with a mere beast but a predator driven by an insatiable hunger for flesh. And if I didn't act fast, Lily wouldn't be the only victim of its ravenous appetite.
With grim determination, I focused on the task at hand. Ignoring the nauseating sight of Lily's mangled leg, I reached for her, gripping her arm tightly. She cried out in pain as I hoisted her out of the water, her screams echoing in the basement.
"Come on, Lily, we need to go," I urged, my voice tinged with urgency. Ignoring the searing pain in her eyes, she nodded weakly, her face contorted in agony.
Together, we staggered towards the stairs, every step a Herculean effort against the overwhelming tide of fear and despair. The monster continued its grisly feast behind us, the sounds of its feasting driving us forward with a renewed sense of urgency.
I stumbled over an unseen obstacle beneath the water's surface, sending Lily and me plunging into the cold, dark depths. The shock of the fall stole my breath, and for a moment, disorientation clouded my senses as we struggled to regain our footing.
Frantically, I reached out in the darkness, my hands grasping for Lily's form as water rushed into my nose and mouth. With a surge of panic, I managed to find her, clutching onto her tightly as we resurfaced, coughing and sputtering.
As we gasped for air, I felt the weight of Lily's body in my arms, and with every ounce of strength I could muster, I began to drag her toward the stairs as she floated.
Struggling to hoist her up, I noticed the severity of Lily's injury more clearly. Her left leg was missing from the knee down, torn off in a gruesome manner. Each time I dragged her up a step, her bloody stump thudded against the hard surface, eliciting agonizing screams from her. Finally, we reached the corner of the stairs, where I adjusted her position to navigate the new angle.
As we turned the corner and I struggled to hoist Lily onto the first step of this new and longer set of stairs, the thunderous approach of the monster echoed through the basement, intensifying with each passing moment. Though I couldn't see it, the sound of its sprinting footsteps through the water and heavy breathing grew louder, signaling its imminent arrival. Fueled by adrenaline, I tugged harder on Lily's collar, the urgency of escape overriding any concerns about her injury. All that mattered now was getting her to safety before the creature reached us.
As we ascended, almost halfway now, I caught sight of the creature turning the corner. Its rapid pace caused it to collide with the wall, the force denting the cement as it rebounded. The sight filled me with a surge of terror, propelling me to pull Lily with renewed urgency. For a moment, she felt weightless in my grasp as I almost dragged her completely up the stairs, driven by sheer determination. Yet, as my grip faltered, I felt her slipping from my hold.
The moisture from the rain and flooding had made my hands slippery. Everything seemed to unfold in agonizing slow motion as Lily tumbled down the stairs, her descent helpless and inevitable. In the blink of an eye, the monster pounced upon her, its ferocious hunger driving it to begin devouring her without hesitation. Frozen at the top of the stairs, I watched in horror, my gaze alternating between the gruesome spectacle unfolding below and my wet, pruned hands, feeling utterly powerless to intervene.
The monster's gaze briefly flickered toward me as if acknowledging my presence for the first time since it began its grisly meal. Another thunderous roar erupted from its throat, prompting me to instinctively cover my ears. Again, I could have sworn I heard a desperate man screaming when the thing roared.
With a surge of adrenaline, I dashed up the final step and slammed the door shut behind me, shutting out the horrifying scene below.
As I fled through the unlit and dark town, I encountered areas still very submerged by the flooding, forcing me to swim through the murky waters in a desperate bid for escape. As I sprinted through the town, the absence of rainfall struck me. How long had it been since the downpour ceased? How long had I been asleep? Time seemed distorted, the day's events blending into a surreal blur. I pressed on, my only focus now: finding a way out of this nightmare.
After what felt like an eternity of navigating through the flooded streets, with every step weighed down by the relentless rainwater, I finally reached the end of the main paved road, where it transitioned into the dirt path leading to the mine—the sole exit out of town. The dark, murky, muddy path stretched ahead, promising a treacherous journey. The thick sludge threatened to swallow any misstep, making each footfall precarious.
As I stood there, catching my breath and surveying the daunting path ahead, the distant echo of the monster's roar pierced the eerie silence. It was a chilling reminder that danger lurked nearby, urging me to push forward despite the obstacles ahead.
By the time I reached Lily's jeep, I had lost both my shoes to the road and was caked in the thick, clinging mud. I swung open the jeep door, my heart racing with the anticipation of escape, only to be met with the realization that I didn't have the key. Frustration boiled over, and I cursed loudly, slamming the door shut in a fit of anger.
Then, a flicker of memory illuminated my mind: Lily's old jeep, a '95 Jeep Wrangler. We had discovered soon after she bought it that, true to its shoddy nature, it could be started with nothing more than a screwdriver in the ignition.
In a frantic search, my eyes darted around the muddy surroundings, desperate for any sign of a tool or implement that could help me start Lily's jeep. The sound of the monster's roar reverberated in the air, closer now, sending shivers down my spine. Every second felt like an eternity as I scoured the area, my heart pounding with fear and adrenaline.
Peering down the muddy road, I spotted the lumbering figure of the monster struggling to ascend. Its massive form sank into the mud with each step, hindering its progress as its feet and hands became mired in the thick, sticky terrain. Relief washed over me as I realized this bought me precious moments, a brief respite in my frantic escape.
I decide to look inside the car as I frantically rummage through the cluttered middle console of the car, my heart pounding against my ribcage. Every second felt like an eternity as I searched desperately for anything that could start the engine. Amidst the chaos of scattered items—a map, an old CD case, a jumble of charging cables—I felt my fingers close around something solid.
Pulling it out, I found a weathered Swiss Army knife, its metal casing worn and scratched from years of use. I unfolded the blade with trembling hands and positioned it carefully within the ignition. The familiar weight of the blade grounded me amid panic as I turned it, hoping against hope that it would work.
The engine sputtered to life after a few tense moments, its roar filling the confined space of the jeep. Relief flooded through me, mingled with uncertainty about what lay ahead. As I glanced up, I caught sight of the approaching monster, its massive form looming closer with each passing second.
With a quick intake of breath, I slammed the car into reverse, the tires spinning in the thick mud before gaining traction. The jeep lurched backward, leaving deep tracks in its wake as I raced away from The Raven's Nest.
The memories of that fateful day haunted me for years, a constant reminder of the horrors that lurked within The Raven's Nest. I tried to seek justice and warn others of the danger lurking in that cursed town, but each attempt fell on deaf ears.
As the years passed, I became increasingly disillusioned with my futile attempts to bring the truth to light. It wasn't that no one believed me; I knew too much. The secrets of The Raven's Nest ran deep, intertwined with the very fabric of the town's existence.
Authorities dismissed my claims as the ramblings of a troubled mind, unwilling or unable to acknowledge the darkness that permeated every corner of that forsaken place. And so, I resigned myself to the fact that some truths were better left buried, that the secrets of The Raven's Nest were meant to remain hidden.
In the quiet moments of solitude, I ponder the events of that harrowing day, eight years distant yet still vivid in my memory. I often wonder about those cameras we had installed, silent sentinels bearing witness to the horrors of The Raven's Nest. Do they still perch in their hidden alcoves, their lenses trained on the dormant secrets within those cursed streets?
The temptation to return, to retrieve that footage and unveil the truth to the world, is a constant tug at the edges of my consciousness. If only I could lay my hands on that evidence, undeniable proof of the malevolent forces that lurk in the shadows. But with each passing thought, a shiver courses down my spine, a reminder of the dread that still clings to the very mention of that forsaken place.
And so, the footage remains abandoned, lost to time and neglect, much like the town itself, swallowed by the unforgiving embrace of the valley. Perhaps some mysteries are best left buried, their secrets guarded by the silent guardians of the past.
I find myself consumed by a profound sense of guilt, particularly regarding Mark's tragic fate. I remember vividly the day we met at the museum, his genuine curiosity and eagerness to explore the town's history. Little did he know the peril that awaited us all. I can't help but feel responsible for leading him into that nightmare. It was a gruesome scene, etched into my memory with agonizing clarity. I watched in horror as the creature pounced on him, its razor-sharp claws tearing through flesh and bone with merciless efficiency. The sound of his screams still echoes in my ears, a chilling symphony of agony that pierces through the silence of my nightmares. At that moment, I was powerless to save him, gripped by a paralyzing terror that rendered me immobile. His death is a burden I carry with me always, a heavy weight that serves as a constant reminder of the price we paid for venturing into the heart of darkness.
I often find myself wondering about our parents' untimely departure, leaving behind a chasm filled with unanswered questions and aching longing. In the quiet of the night, I ponder how they would have reacted to my tale—of Lily's tragic end, of the nightmares we encountered in that desolate town. Would they have believed my words? Would they have comprehended the depth of my sorrow, the burden of guilt for failing to shield their cherished daughter?
In my heart, I carry the weight of my dear sister Lily's untimely demise. Her laughter, warmth, and unwavering spirit are now lost to the darkness that enveloped that cursed town. Each day, I long to see her smile once more, to hear her voice echoing in the halls of our shared memories. Yet, I know she is gone, forever lost to the merciless jaws of that insatiable beast. The memory of her screams, the sight of her torn body, they etch themselves into my soul, a painful reminder of the fragility of life and the cruelty of fate.
Lily's injury and her agonizing screams echo incessantly in the corridors of my mind, haunting me like a relentless specter. The memory of that moment is etched into my consciousness with vivid, excruciating detail—the sight of her torn leg, the gushing crimson of her blood staining the murky waters, and the raw, visceral sound of her screams reverberating through the air. Each time I close my eyes, I am transported back to that harrowing scene, unable to escape the overwhelming sense of helplessness that washed over me. Her pain, her fear, her desperation—all of it lingers like a scar on my soul, a constant reminder of the horrors we endured in that forsaken place.

My name is Rory Fars, and my little sister, Lily Fars, is the last family I had left.
A heavy sense of dread settled over me like a suffocating blanket as I sat in the worn leather seat of Lily's old jeep. The car, a relic of our happier days, seemed to groan under our shared sorrow. Beside me, Lily, my best friend, and confidante, absentmindedly twirled a strand of her long, dark hair, which swayed gently in rhythm with the haunting melodies from the oldies station on the radio. This car had seen us through countless joyful journeys when our family was whole. Almost three years had passed since that fateful Christmas trip in Texas when our parents were tragically killed in a horrific multi-car pileup. The memory of their loss was a constant ache, a wound that never fully healed.
My dad was from Amarillo, Texas, so my parents often took trips down there, visiting the places that held so many memories for him. During one of these trips, just before Christmas, a sudden blizzard struck while they were on the freeway. The snow fell in blinding sheets, making the world outside a disorienting white blur. As they tried to slowly pull to the side, their vision obscured by the relentless storm, they never saw the car barreling toward them at least forty miles an hour. The impact was devastating, an abrupt and brutal end to their journey and, in many ways, to our lives as we had known them.
My parents were always sticklers for safety, insisting on seatbelts every time we got in the car. So, of course, they had theirs on during that fateful trip. The initial impact wasn't what killed them, the coroner explained to me. Not even the first hit from behind, which was going at least fifty miles an hour, was fatal. I had to practically shake the information out of him—they were so resistant to tell me anything at first. By the time the third car hit, with an unknown speed, their survival was already in jeopardy. The coroner said that by the fifth car, they were likely dead. But it didn't end there. Another twenty-three vehicles slammed into the back of the pile, each collision further crushing their bodies, reducing them to a horrific, unrecognizable state. Each jarring impact pushed my parents deeper into a gruesome amalgamation of twisted metal and shattered lives.
I don't know why I felt compelled to demand those details at the time, but I deeply regret it now. I wish I had never asked. Almost every night, unless I drink myself into oblivion, I am haunted by nightmares of what they endured. I dream of driving up to save them, only to be caught in the same deadly barrage of cars, ending in a twisted metal tomb for all of us.
Lily is never in those dreams. Even in my most horrific imaginings, I can't envision her being hurt. Lily is my little sister, younger by eight years and three months. Whenever I mention our age difference, I see the judgment in people's eyes, but what can I say? Our parents never stopped loving each other. They had Lily late in life; she became our shared joy, our living reminder of the love that had bound our family together.
Lily wasn't my twin in the literal sense, but ever since she was born, it felt like we shared the inexplicable connection that twins often describe. As she grew up, our bond only deepened—we acted, sounded, and even looked remarkably alike. She became my rock, especially after our parents' tragic deaths. We leaned on each other, cried into each other's shoulders, and somehow found the strength to move forward. We eventually moved in together, finding solace in a two-bedroom apartment that became our sanctuary.
Lily seemed to handle our parents' deaths better than I did, or maybe she was just better at distracting herself with technology. Even before their passing, Lily was addicted to any kind of digital screen she could manipulate. Her ability to navigate the digital world was unmatched; she was the most intelligent person I had ever met. Her intelligence was a beacon of light in the darkness that had enveloped us, a testament to her resilience and brilliance.
After my parents' death, I embarked on a quest to find my spirituality by delving into paranormal investigations. I hoped these pursuits would bring me closer to my parents in the afterlife, spiritual realm, or whatever you want to call it. Instead, it created a chasm between me and any sense of spiritual existence. Each investigation seemed to push me further from the answers I sought, leaving me feeling more isolated and disconnected than ever.
I had hoped that by exploring these paranormal claims, I would discover a way to reach out to my parents and feel their presence again. Yet, as the years have passed, this endeavor has only deepened my loneliness and sense of loss. Despite knowing how detrimental it is to my mental health, I can't bring myself to stop. The hope that the subsequent investigation will be the one that proves the existence of an afterlife and that I'll find a way to contact my parents keeps me going. It's a desperate, unrelenting pursuit for a connection that remains heartbreakingly out of reach.
I should have accepted their death and moved on like any sane person would. Instead, I let my grief fester and dragged my sister and a stranger, Mark, through my obsessive quest for answers. My relentless pursuit of the paranormal didn't just alienate me; it consumed us all, leading to their untimely deaths. My name is Rory Fars, and I am here to confess my side of the story about the missing case of Lily Fars and Mark Lawrence.
This is the truth about how my desperate search for a connection with the afterlife led to a nightmare from which none of us could escape.
To start off, no, Lily was not a student of Mark's who fell in love with him and then got jealous of me hitting on him, leading her to kill him and herself. I know that sounds ridiculous, but given some wild theories circulating online, I need to address this one specifically since it seems to be the most popular.
First and foremost, Mark Lawrence was not, nor has he ever been, a professor at a university. Lily and I met Mark at the Local Museum in Redlin, a town nestled deep in the Appalachian Mountains. He was the curator of an exhibit showcasing the history of Raven's Nest, a forgotten mining town that neither Lily nor I had ever heard of. This is where our story begins, in a place steeped in history and mystery, far removed from the convoluted theories that now cloud the truth.
We were constantly searching for new ideas for our podcast about paranormal claims. Each of our twenty-five episodes so far had concluded with a rational explanation, so when Mark told us about the curse of Harper, I was immediately intrigued.
Mark was an older man, likely in his mid-sixties, with a full head of silver hair and a beard that stubbornly clung to its youthful color, only lightly dusted with grey. He had a presence that commanded attention, and his stories about the curse were delivered with an intensity that drew me in.
On the other hand, Lily was always more interested in the technical aspects of the paranormal. She had her own theories and was determined to debunk every claim we investigated. She wasn't easily swayed by Mark's tales about the curse of Harper, but she was willing to listen and give him a chance to prove himself. Her skeptical mind constantly checked my enthusiasm, and together, we hoped to uncover the truth behind yet another paranormal mystery.
"Hello ladies, care to hear about the mysterious town of Raven's Nest?" Mark asked with theatrical enthusiasm.
Lily and I exchanged a knowing glance, trying to stifle our amusement. Despite our attempts to remain composed, a smirk played at the corners of our lips.
"We're all ears," I replied, my tone laced with a hint of sarcasm.
He sighed, almost as if he was disappointed that we said yes. Taking a deep breath, he seemed to steel himself for the task ahead. "Well, you see," he began, his voice tinged with uncertainty, "in the early twentieth century, a man named Harper Franstein exploited many men and children in the coal mines. By the mid-1920s, he had established his own settlement in a secluded valley, which he dubbed 'The Raven's Nest.' It was never officially recognized as a town, but that's the only name we have to go off of."
I could see the beads of sweat forming on Mark's brow as he struggled to recall every detail. Despite his initial enthusiasm, he now appeared flustered, his confidence waning. Eventually, he resorted to consulting his damp and crumpled notes, a sign of his growing unease.
"Um, anyway, yeah, um," he stuttered, audibly gulping as his nerves got the better of him. Lily couldn't contain her laughter, emitting a snicker that earned us a glare from Mark.
"Hey, just relax," I interjected, trying to diffuse the tension. "We're not here to judge or intimidate you." With a gentle touch on his forearm and a chuckle, I attempted to reassure him, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort.
He paused, sharing a chuckle with me, while Lily struggled to suppress her laughter and eventually excused herself, leaving just Mark and me. Evidently, he felt more at ease with fewer listeners, so he pressed on with his narrative.
"Anyway," he resumed, "Harper held complete control over the town and the mine, and he made sure everyone was acutely aware of that fact. When the disappearances began, he tried to sweep them under the rug, attributing them to anything but his own negligence in mining practices."
"What do you mean by 'negligence in mining practices'?" I interjected, eager to delve deeper into his intriguing tale.
He looked up, clearly pleased by my question. "Yes, exactly," he affirmed. "Harper adhered to a mining technique outlined by Dwight Brunst in the mid to late nineteenth century. This method mandated only one entry and exit point into the mine."
"Wait, so they were forbidden from creating additional exits?" I pressed for clarification.
"Not explicitly," he explained. "The practice advocated for just one entry and exit as it was believed to minimize the risk of cave-ins, at least in theory. However, there were instances where miners, feeling uneasy about this restriction, took matters into their own hands and carved out what they called 'Emergency Exits' for themselves. After about half of the town started going missing, Harper couldn't take criticism about how he responded, but most people say he was losing money quickly and didn't want to live in a world where he was poor. He walked into the mine, never to be seen again, much like the cave's past victims. Visitors report seeing and hearing Harper, trying to get them to leave."
As I stood there, listening to Mark's enthralling narrative, I found myself captivated by the mysterious allure of Raven's Nest. Unable to contain my curiosity, I decided to pose a question.
"So, what does the town look like now?" I inquired, eager to learn more about the present state of this enigmatic place.
Mark's demeanor shifted slightly as he rifled through his notes, a subtle indication that he didn't have a straightforward answer to my query.
"You've never been there?" I asked, my tone softening with genuine curiosity.
He flinched as though my question had struck a nerve. "Shhhhhh... shut up," he demanded, his voice tinged with unease.
Suppressing a chuckle, I leaned in closer and whispered, "Okay, hear me out. My sister Lily and I are investigating paranormal phenomena. Your story about Raven's Nest sounds like the perfect addition to our podcast. What do you say we compensate you for your guidance? Let's say, three hundred bucks?"
He straightened up, contemplating my proposition for a few moments. Without uttering a word, he extended his hand, and I met it halfway with my own, sealing our agreement with a firm handshake.
Our journey to Raven's Nest was no easy feat. Situated a good twenty miles from town and nestled deep within a dense valley. After all of the tight turns, narrow dirt roads, and steep inclines, it took us a grueling two and a half hours to go twenty-something miles, but we finally reached the outskirts of the infamous settlement. As we stood at the edge of the "Nest," anticipation mingled with trepidation, setting the stage for the eerie exploration that lay ahead.
I glanced at my phone; the time read 11:56 pm, signaling the late hour. Sensing the exhaustion weighing heavily, I suggested we catch a few hours of rest in Lily's jeep. Mark, though visibly unsettled, remained silent from the back seat, his arms folded tightly across his chest as he slumped against the window like a sulking child.
Drifting asleep in the passenger seat, I soon found myself ensnared in a nightmare. In my dream, Mark was being dragged away into the darkness, his desperate attempts to claw his way back to safety only resulting in broken fingertips. Despite his struggles, he was powerless against the unseen force pulling him inexorably into the abyss. Suddenly, I was alone, engulfed in utter darkness, my heart pounding with fear as I ran blindly from an unseen terror that seemed to pursue me relentlessly, its malevolent presence palpable but unseen.
I jolted awake, gasping for breath, my heart racing as the remnants of dread lingered in the pit of my stomach. It was morning, and I was struggling to adjust my vision. Lily's frantic but comforting voice broke through the haze of my terror, grounding me in reality. With her comforting embrace, I gradually calmed my racing thoughts, drawing deep, steadying breaths.
As we sat there, enveloped in each other's embrace, Mark approached the driver's side window with an unexpected question, "Alright, what's for breakfast?" His nonchalant tone and casual demeanor were a stark contrast to the harrowing nightmare that had just consumed my thoughts, momentarily dispelling the lingering specter of fear that had haunted my dreams.
Lily and I both look up at him and back at each other as we burst out into laughter.
Amidst our shared laughter, Lily and I exchanged amused glances before turning our attention back to Mark.
"Ha...ha, yeah. No, but seriously, what's for breakfast? Eggs, bacon, toast, at least?" Mark pressed, hoping for a more substantial response.
His earnest inquiry fueled our laughter further, our giggles echoing through the quiet night air. Eventually, we regained our composure and stepped out of the jeep, stretching our limbs after the cramped confines of the vehicle.
Mark awkwardly moves to the side, still waiting for an honest answer. Lily tossed him a granola bar, eliciting a bemused chuckle from him. With a shared understanding, we set off on foot, embarking on the hike into the town.
The path ahead was clear: a single dirt road that wound its way from the abandoned coal mine into the heart of the small settlement. The road, now overgrown and muddy from years of disuse, bore the marks of neglect and isolation. Wary of the treacherous conditions, Lily opted to forgo the risk of getting stuck, steering clear of the decrepit road that likely hadn't seen a traveler in at least half a century.
We parked Lily's jeep at the entrance to both the mine and the town of Raven's Nest, opting to proceed on foot from there. Standing at the mountain's peak, gazing down at the desolate town below, I couldn't help but ponder the history beneath the dilapidated structures. I imagined how this valley must have once been a pristine landscape cherished by the indigenous people who roamed its lush terrain.
"Jesus, this place is more like a shit nest," Mark muttered in disgust, his disdain evident in his tone.
Lily shot me a knowing glance, silently communicating her skepticism toward Mark's assessment of the town.
Deciding to put Mark's knowledge to the test, I casually inquired, "So, what year was this area founded?"
Mark's reaction was almost defensive as if my question had caught him off guard. He hesitated momentarily before fumbling for his note cards in his pocket, a telltale sign that he wasn't as knowledgeable as he let on.
Before he could respond, I interjected with another question, "Mark, how long have you worked at the museum?"
As Mark froze, his gaze locking onto mine like a deer caught in headlights, I watched him closely, waiting for any sign of hesitation or discomfort. My narrowed eyes bore into his, silently urging him to be honest.
Finally, breaking the tense silence, Mark confessed, "Look, this is only my first week. I... I haven't had the greatest time lately, and I really need the extra money. I'm sorry I lied, but I'll help however I can."
I met his gaze unwaveringly, sensing the sincerity in his words. Clearly, he was a man in need of redemption, grappling with his own personal struggles.
"Alright, alright, don't cry too much," I teased lightly, trying to ease the tension. Gesturing towards Lily, who was busy preparing her wireless motion cameras in her backpack, I continued, "Lily and I already figured that was the case. Honestly, we're surprised you agreed to come along."
Mark remained frozen, but the tension seemed to melt away from his expression, replaced by a tentative smile. It was a moment of shared understanding, a silent acknowledgment that he was still welcomed into our expedition despite his initial deception.
"Alright, I have the cams and portable batteries to make sure the cameras and anything we have with power can last," Lily said, her voice brimming with determination.
We began our descent into the town, our hiking boots struggling against the thick, clinging mud produced by the constant light rain and years of disuse. Each step was a battle, the mud threatening to swallow our boots with every move.
After an eternity of trudging through the muck, we finally reached the town's only paved road—the main road. It had taken us only about fifteen minutes to hike down, but navigating the muddy slope had sapped our energy. We paused for a break, taking a few minutes to clean off our boots and catch our breath.
As we rested, I noticed Lily rummaging through her bag with a focused intensity. Curious, I asked, "What are you looking for?"
"I brought five motion-detecting cameras that I want to set up strategically throughout the town," she replied, pulling out one of the cameras. She walked over to the nearest building, a structure that served as a post office, police station, and fire station. She positioned the camera outside the building so it was pointed at the only road leading in and out of the town.
"We need to cover all potential points of interest," she explained, securing the camera in place. "This one will monitor any activity on the main road. We should place the other cameras around key locations like the mine entrance, the town square, and some more intact buildings."
I nodded, appreciating her thoroughness. "Good idea. We need to make sure we capture anything unusual."
Mark, having finally caught his breath, joined us. "Alright, let's get these cameras set up and see what we can find," he said, a hint of excitement in his voice.
"Look," Lily said, turning her tablet screen toward us. She waved her hand in front of the camera she had just placed. The tablet displayed five squares on the interface, each meant to show a feed from one of the cameras. Since Lily had only set up one camera so far, only the bottom right square showed any footage pointed at the road leading out of town. She stopped waving her hand, and the feed went to a blue screen.
"What happened? Did we lose connection?" Mark asked frantically, his eyes wide with concern.
Lily cackled, struggling to contain her amusement. Composing herself, she waved her hand in front of the camera again, and the bottom right square showed her hand waving once more. "It's motion-activated. It's the best way to save on battery life," she explained.
Mark seemed to relax, though he was still catching his breath after the brief panic.
I glanced at my watch, noting the time. "It's 8:30. We're behind schedule. If you want to place the rest of your cameras, we better move now," I said, walking down the street.
Lily immediately got up and followed me, with Mark struggling to keep pace behind us. We reached the market building, and Lily positioned her second camera on the side of the road, pointing up at the market.
It's not much longer before we make it to the Town Hall. I suggest Lily place a camera nearby. She nods and heads into a building across from the Town Hall labeled, "Slaughterhouse: LOCAL ANIMALS ONLY."
As Lily explores the building to find an adequate spot for the camera, I wait for Mark to catch up. While I wait, I can't help but imagine this town in its prime, picturing the streets filled with families who loved each other.
My thoughts are abruptly cut off by a sound echoing in the distance—a roar unlike any I've ever heard. It was a mix of a human screaming in pain, the roar of a lion, and, near the end, the howl of a wolf. The chilling sound sent shivers down my spine.
I jump to my feet and immediately call out, "Lily, you okay?"
There's no response from Lily, but I'm interrupted by Mark finally catching up, panting heavily.
"Holy... shit... did you... hear that?" Mark said frantically between breaths.
"Yeah, we have to find Lily," I say, bolting into the slaughterhouse. I glance back to see Mark bracing himself on the steps of the Town Hall, struggling to keep up.
As I enter the building, the stench of rotting flesh hits me like a wave, causing me to gag. The smell is too fresh to be decades old.
"Lily? Lily, where are you?" I yell, using my shirt to shield my nose from the overwhelming odor.
"Rory, I'm in here!" I hear Lily yell from a room two doors down. I pass the first door, peeking in to ensure I hadn't misheard, but I wish I hadn't looked.
Inside the first room, I catch a glimpse of what appears to be a pile of animal carcasses, their decayed bodies arranged in a grotesque display. The sight is horrifying, the flesh still disturbingly fresh. The bile rises in my throat, but I force myself to focus on finding Lily.
I rush to the room where her voice came from, pushing the door open. Lily is there, setting up the camera, seemingly oblivious to the horror in the adjacent room. Relief floods through me as I see she's safe.
"Lily, did you hear that roar?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Yeah, I heard it," she replies, her eyes wide with concern. "I was just finishing up here. Let's get back to Mark and figure out what that was." She had placed the camera in a window, pointing directly at the Town Hall.
We hurry back outside, where Mark still catches his breath as we meet between the buildings. "We need to stay together from now on," I say firmly, looking at both of them. "Whatever that noise was, it's not something we want to face alone."
"Let's check out the Town Hall!" Mark says excitedly as he slowly clambers through a broken window.
"Did he not just hear what I said?" I mutter under my breath, shaking my head in disbelief.
Lily gives me a shrug, her eyes reflecting a mix of amusement and exasperation. "Guess we're heading into the Town Hall then," she says, adjusting her backpack and walking towards the broken window.
I sigh and follow suit, hoisting myself up and carefully maneuvering through the jagged glass. Inside, the air is musty, filled with the scent of old paper and decaying wood. Dust motes float lazily in the beams of sunlight streaming through the cracked windows.
The main hall is vast and eerily silent, with rows of empty chairs facing a stage draped in tattered curtains. The walls are lined with faded portraits and yellowed maps of the town, remnants of a time when this place was alive and bustling.
Mark is already at the front, examining a large, decrepit desk. "Look at this," he says, his voice echoing in the empty space. "It's like stepping back in time."
I walk over, glancing at the old papers scattered across the desk. Most are mundane—meeting minutes, maintenance logs—but one catches my eye. It's a letter dated June 1925, addressed to Harper Franstein.
"Harper, the disappearances are becoming more frequent. The townsfolk are getting restless, and I fear they may take matters into their own hands if we don't act soon. We need to find out what's causing this before it's too late."
I read the letter aloud, and the room fell silent. "Sounds like things were getting pretty tense," Lily remarks, her voice subdued.
As I'm distracted by the time capsule in front of us, Mark sneaks off.
I'm not sure how long it was before she noticed, but I saw Lily looking around before saying, "Where the hell did Mark go?" breaking me out of my trance.
I look around, turning my head in all directions, and shrug at Lily. I hear shuffling in the second room down the hall, so I slowly walk toward it.
"Mark?" I call out.
Just then, a loud crash reverberates through the building, making it sound like the whole place was about to come down.
We run in and see Mark struggling to keep himself from falling into a giant hole that must've broken under his weight. Trying not to laugh, I glance at Lily. We help him up as he dramatically falls onto his back, wheezing as he catches his breath.
Lily and I can't contain our laughter anymore as we bust out laughing hard. Startled by our sudden outburst, Mark jumps in fear. He looks around, confused for a few seconds, before realizing that we are laughing at him.
"Jesus, thanks, I guess," he says, clearly thankful but annoyed by our reaction.
After we contained ourselves, we headed back outside, exiting through the window Mark entered through. He struggles to climb out, but after Lily gives him a hand, he is safely out of the Town Hall.
"Alright, Ror, where should we put the next camera?" Lily asks me.
I stop to think momentarily, trying to picture the town's layout. "I think the only place left is the neighborhood," I respond confidently. I always talk like that with Lily. Over the years, I've realized she is the only person I can have that much confidence around. With anyone else, I'm worried about saying something stupid or wrong or how they'll view me, but with my sister, everything is easy.
As I look at the replica map of the town in its heyday from the museum, I determine that the neighborhood is to the East. "Okay, looks like we head East past the Library. Let's go." I say, walking away.
It only takes about eight minutes to get to the long strip of road that housed the town's workers. According to the map, there were fifteen houses along this strip of road.
The houses stand eerily silent, their wooden frames weathered and decayed by time. We walk down the road, our footsteps crunching on the gravel and echoing in the stillness. The air feels heavier here like the past is watching us, waiting to reveal its secrets.
"Let's put the last cameras on that house at the end of the road," I suggest, pointing to a house that looks slightly less dilapidated than the others, "another one at the last house on the other side, and the last we can save for a spot you choose."
Lily nods and heads toward the first house, pulling another camera from her backpack. She sets it up on the porch, positioning it to capture the entire street, and does the same in the opposite house. As I stand with Mark breathing hard, still unable to catch his breath since we first got here, I can't shake the feeling that we're being watched. I glance around nervously but see nothing out of the ordinary.
"All set," Lily says, breaking my reverie, "Still no ideas for the last cam?" Lily asks me.
"Like I said, wherever you think it would be best. I feel like we have enough good spots and angles, so go wild with that one," I told her.
She smirked and kept walking next to me. Mark was still struggling behind, but after the town hall mishap, he was trying his best to keep up. I looked at my watch, and it read '12:30 pm'.
"Holy shit, it's already 12:30," I said in amazement, but no one else seemed fazed. It felt like we'd only been here thirty minutes, not almost four hours.
We walked back down the street. Lily and I had been discussing on the walk that she should put the last camera at the town's only stoplight in front of the Library.
As we made our way to it, I could have sworn I was seeing something moving fast past my vision in the corner of my eye. Every time I turned to look, it was gone. I chalked it up to being my imagination until Lily and Mark both experienced the same thing.
"What the fuck was that?" Mark asked as he ducked, bracing for something terrible to happen. Lily and I looked back at him and then at each other as we shrugged. It was after that that I started seeing things, too.
I confided in Lily about the unsettling visions and sounds, and she admitted she had experienced the same phenomena but had kept quiet, fearing Mark would dismiss her as paranoid.
"Well, it's probably just a cat or something," I said, attempting to downplay the situation, but neither seemed convinced.
We continued our trek, and I noticed that the more we walked, the more frequently I caught fleeting glimpses of movement in my peripheral vision. It was beginning to grate on my nerves.
Finally, we reached the light in front of the Library. As Lily mounted the camera, I felt a sense of satisfaction. We were making good progress, and it seemed like a suitable moment to start exploring the town more freely. We decided to split up and cover different sections of the town.
"Wait, we have to go alone? Why can't we stay together like you said?" Mark asked frantically, but Lily and I ignored him as we headed in separate directions. He continued to protest, but we paid him no mind. Eventually, I was either far enough away to not hear him anymore, or he had given up. Either way, I was happy to enjoy the eerie silence of the town.
As I wandered, the stillness of Raven's Nest enveloped me. With its decrepit buildings and overgrown streets, the town exuded an unsettling charm. It was as if I had stepped into a forgotten world, a place frozen in time with secrets waiting to be unearthed. The ambiance reminded me of an amusement park's haunted town section—artificially eerie yet irresistibly intriguing. Despite the creepiness, the mysterious vibe of the town kept me engaged and eager to explore its hidden corners.
I glanced at my watch again, only to find the time glaring back at me: 3:19 pm. It couldn't be right. There was no way it had been that long since I last checked. Panic seized me, and I called out for Lily, my voice tinged with urgency. She appeared beside me in a matter of minutes, her expression mirroring my concern.
"What's up, Ror? You okay?" she asked, her voice laced with worry.
"How long would you say it's been since you put the last camera down?" I inquired, my heart pounding in my chest.
Lily's brow furrowed as she struggled to come up with an answer. "Uh, I don't know, thirty minutes?" she hazarded a guess.
I held up my watch, displaying the time: 3:20 pm. Lily fell silent, her eyes widening in disbelief. She was never great with time, but missing almost three hours of our memory was unprecedented.
"There's no way. Your watch must be—" Lily began, her voice trailing off as she checked her own watch, only to freeze in shock when she found it displayed the same time as mine.
"Lil, something is going on," I stated, my voice tight and apprehensive. I glanced up at the sky, my stomach churning as I noticed the clouds darkening and rolling in from all sides of the valley.
The sky closed rapidly, ominous clouds obscuring the sun as thunder rumbled ominously against the mountains.
"Mark? Mark, where are—" I began to call out, but before I could finish, Mark emerged from behind a wall, appearing as if he'd been too frightened to venture far on his own.
"We have to get inside!" Mark exclaimed urgently, his voice tinged with fear.

Which is why it took him so long to realize his feelings.
I love rewatching over and over because I always notice something new. One detail I have tried to pinpoint is the moment he falls in love with her, and am Austen quote comes to mind,
"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."
For Penelope, it was love at first sight. Not just because she found him handsome, but also because he is so gentle and sweet. And as Eloise's best friend, she was always at the Bridgerton house. Always happy to see or speak to Colin. He has known her for years as a fixture in his home.
And because of that he took her for granted.
He has always been fond of her and cared about her. He has rescued her from Cressida and rescued her and her family in S2.
But it took Penelope overhearing his cruel words and her fight with Eloise to make him acknowledge how much he actually feels about her.
For instance, right at the beginning of S3, before the opening title, Colin returns home. He is found flirting with a group of young ladies while Penelope watches from the bushes. She looks dismayed and confused by this new Colin. Then he turns to greet his family, and she steps out from the bushes hopeful. This is the Colin she knows and loves. The minute he hugs Eloise he turns to look directly at her house, and sees her. (He really does always seek her out). But he doesn't acknowledge seeing her and turns back to his family. She feels snubbed. In her eyes, he is indifferent to her. I imagine seeing Eloise reminded him of her, and he looks to double check that she is there. But she is always there, and once satisfied by seeing her, he turns away. He takes her presence for granted.
Minutes later he walks up to her at the park, but her attitude is cold and indifferent. He jokingly comments about Eloise and Cressida being friends, and her response is cold and vague. Later when he speaks to Eloise in the family drawing room he brings up their friendship again. Eloise announcing in a rather final voice that they have grown apart is the moment he first realizes that the woman he has been taking for granted may very likely not be a fixture in his home.
This is compounded by their conversation after her dress is ripped. He thinks his flowery compliments will work on Pen the way they work on the other ladies of the ton, but instead she lashes out at him and reveals she overheard his cruel words. Colin even tries to get her somewhere alone and private, seconds after reminding her that she needs a chaperone, but Penelope is decidedly not succumbing to his practiced charm.
It is in Colin realizing that Penelope may very well no longer be in his life that he stops taking her for granted.
Even when giving her lessons in finding a suitor, I believe he saw the exercise as a fun way to spend time privately with her. He likely sees their lessons as a way to teach her confidence and as an excuse to flirt. He is having fun.
It is only when Lord Debling takes a serious interest in her that he understands he could very well lose her for good.
The kiss is when he finally acknowledges his attraction for her, with episode 3 being a slow torturous dawning of understanding of the intensity of his feelings. By the end of the episode as he watches her dancing with Debling you can see he finally really gets it.
He is in love with Penelope Featherington. He has been in love with Penelope Featherington. And now he has lost her to someone else.
Penelope on the other hand has loved him for so long, she sees the kiss as a final goodbye. She is inexperienced and never courted anyone or had any man show interest in her. It is why she is oblivious to what he is doing.
She doesn't notice when he flirts with her. She doesn't question all the times he goes out of his way to be alone in private with her. She doesn't even see the longing look he gives her after their kiss. She doesn't notice all the times he looks for her whenever they are at a ball or at a park. She is completely oblivious.
Even Eloise is oblivious to what is happening between them. She sees Colin's attentions towards Penelope as friendly. Lord Debling notices that Colin is competition by the end of episode 3 when he interrupts them to ask Penelope for a dance, and gives Colin a very pointed look.
When Violet announces that Penelope is to receive a proposal, Colin finally decides to make a move. Even then after interrupting Debling and Penelope's dance, he initially cannot get the words out. It is only after she leaves that he realizes he could really lose her forever. It is in that moment he risks everything.
That is why he proposes immediately after the carriage ride. He has taken her for granted for so long and it almost made him lose her. He won't bother waiting for the morning or asking for her mother's permission. He does not want to waste a single second more. It must have been heartbreaking and terrifying watching the woman he loves be with someone else. He doesn't want to waste another second.

I've had lyme for probably 10 years now, but wasn't diagnosed till 3 years ago. I'm going to share my symptoms, so that maybe if you have similar symptoms it will help.
So for some reason, when I eat almonds, like a huge handful, my breathing problems from lyme start to get a bit better, my nervous system feels stronger, and just overall better. This even has an affect like minutes after I eat a huge handful of almonds. It doesn't seem like placebo, because I've tried many many things that haven't worked, tried to believe they would work, and didn't. But almonds for some reason, and other nuts seem to help a ton. Probably because the brain is mostly made of fat and I have lyme brain.
Also interesting enough about almonds:
There was a story, not sure if it was true, but a guy had dreams that kept coming true. Eventually he had a dream to just eat 1 almond a day, and it would solve a lot of health problems. Now we don't know if thats true, but if it's true that this guy really had these prophetic dreams that were coming true, maybe there's something to the almonds.
Anyways... I had it BAD. I seriously couldn't breathe 24/7 for 3.5 years, and I still have troubles. I couldn't and still can't sometimes, even go anywhere, stand in a store without being so dizzy that I'm falling over, or my legs getting weak. So yeah, that breathing thing was constant and pure hell, I'm not one to exaggerate, and it makes me mad when people often say they're in hell when they lose their phone or something, they don't know what it's like..
So yeah, if you had breathing problem, a horrible nervous system that even someone talking to you hurts and you can't process anything, your muscles are burning always, any of that...
Then try eating almonds often, as long as you aren't allergic to them or any nuts.
Seriously... It's the weirdest thing. If I'm feeling absolutely horrible, eating those most of the time helps. Diet overall is hugely important, like man I was drinking coke for years, lots of junk, and quitting that truly makes a difference. It's no joke... you always hear about diet and think it's so basic that it couldn't work but it does.
Other tips:
For some reason, even when I could hardly do a pushup and I was at my worst with lyme, forcing myself to do pushups when I couldn't breathe made me breathe easier for 30 seconds, then it would mostly go back to impossible to breathe. So if you're in that position having shortness of breath 24/7 and need even some seconds of relief, try some pushups. I had lyme brain, so i'm guessing these things just help activate parts of my brain for a bit that make it easier to breathe. I think the pushups also helped stress out my INSANELY tight muscles from lyme. Man... I used to do gymnastics, and all of a sudden I couldn't do anything, couldn't even jump cause I was so stiff, I was in my early 20s when that started, just turned 29.
I advice you to honestly keep going on, I don't even know how I did.. I couldn't even sit in my bed my nervous system was so bad, it was constantly inflamed and weak and any little thought I couldn't even handle for 3 years... You feel like you're actually dying... So if you didn't have it that bad, seriously, be thankful... If you do, keep going, stick to the diet, quit addictions to help your brain opperate more, exercise even if it's light weight. I even had narcissistic parents gaslighting me, harassing me, making me scream when I couldn't throughout all of this too. As I said, keep going. With all this happening I'm getting better.
For some reason also, my nose was incredibly incredibly stuffy on top of all this, like so bad that it was all fully blocked and made everything even worse. Nothing like i'd ever experience, nothing would come out, no sinus infection, nothing. I think all that brain inflamation was getting to my sinuses, but nothing showed up to the docs.
What I take:
I started with an antibiotic (doxy) for months years ago, didn't feel like it really did much, but glad I did as it might have helped.
I am on cryptoplus, helps if you have babesia as well apparently.
Green tea extracts, high quality fishoils, magnesium, vitamin c, probably few others I used to take that i'm missing that not sure if it helps.
If you test negative but think you have lyme due to a tick bite
I tested negative for the I think Western Blot, but I tested Positive for the C6 Peptide test. If it weren't for that, I probably wouldn't have ever thought I had lyme, and who knows what would have happened... They then found many other indicators of lyme such as me having 3 bands, whatever that means. Many other tests too that indicated potential lyme that I don't remember.
This is all based off my observation with lots of personal testing.

Hello, looking for a job rn. I'm 22F, graduating arch. student kaya need ng funds for materials.
❗ STRICTLY SFW ❗
📌 If naghahanap ka ng draftsman or 3D visualizer, pwede din ako. Here are the list of softwares na madalas kong gamitin (eto lang kaya ng laptop eh)
• Lumion
• SketchUp
• Autocad
• Illustrator
• Enscape
• Canva
📌 Graphic Design

 - Logos - Posters - Packaging - Tarpaulins - Infographics - Social Media Postings 

📌 Copywriting, Transcribing, Data Encoder, Data Entry
📌 Can do your task if nasa vacation ka, galaan, etc.
📌School Activities
• Ppt
• Homeworks
• Activities
📌 If meron man akong di nabanggit you can message me if u need anything
Pwede din upvotes na lang 😊 Please message me if you're interested. Thank youuu.

Hello, looking for a job rn. I'm 22F, graduating arch. student kaya need ng funds for materials.
❗ STRICTLY SFW ❗
📌 If naghahanap ka ng draftsman or 3D visualizer, pwede din ako. Here are the list of softwares na madalas kong gamitin (eto lang kaya ng laptop eh)
• Lumion
• SketchUp
• Autocad
• Illustrator
• Enscape
• Canva
📌 Graphic Design

 - Logos - Posters - Packaging - Tarpaulins - Infographics - Social Media Postings 

📌 Copywriting, Transcribing, Data Encoder, Data Entry
📌 Can do your task if nasa vacation ka, galaan, etc.
📌School Activities
• Ppt
• Homeworks
• Activities
📌 If meron man akong di nabanggit you can message me if u need anything
Pwede din upvotes na lang 😊 Please message me if you're interested. Thank youuu.

Hello, looking for a job rn. I'm 22F, graduating arch. student kaya need ng funds for materials.
❗ STRICTLY SFW ❗
📌 If naghahanap ka ng draftsman or 3D visualizer, pwede din ako. Here are the list of softwares na madalas kong gamitin (eto lang kaya ng laptop eh)
• Lumion
• SketchUp
• Autocad
• Illustrator
• Enscape
• Canva
📌 Graphic Design

 - Logos - Posters - Packaging - Tarpaulins - Infographics - Social Media Postings 

📌 Copywriting, Transcribing, Data Encoder, Data Entry
📌 Can do your task if nasa vacation ka, galaan, etc.
📌School Activities
• Ppt
• Homeworks
• Activities
📌 If meron man akong di nabanggit you can message me if u need anything
Pwede din upvotes na lang 😊 Please message me if you're interested. Thank youuu.

Hello, looking for a job rn. I'm 22F, graduating arch. student kaya need ng funds for materials.
❗ STRICTLY SFW ❗
📌 If naghahanap ka ng draftsman or 3D visualizer, pwede din ako. Here are the list of softwares na madalas kong gamitin (eto lang kaya ng laptop eh)
• Lumion
• SketchUp
• Autocad
• Illustrator
• Enscape
• Canva
📌 Graphic Design

 - Logos - Posters - Packaging - Tarpaulins - Infographics - Social Media Postings 

📌 Copywriting, Transcribing, Data Encoder, Data Entry
📌 Can do your task if nasa vacation ka, galaan, etc.
📌School Activities
• Ppt
• Homeworks
• Activities
📌 If meron man akong di nabanggit you can message me if u need anything
Pwede din upvotes na lang 😊 Please message me if you're interested. Thank youuu.

Yo I'm bored out of my mind and I forgot how to make friends 💀. If we have any commonalities shoot me a message.
I have ADHD so honestly most of my life revolves around the things I'm interested in. So please don't bother messaging if we don't have anything in common. Id appreciate any messages where you tell me a little bit about yourself since I can start conversation more easily.
Video games are one of my biggest interests. I love Nintendo. Splatoon, Zelda, Kirby, Mario Kart, Pikmin, Smash Bros, Animal crossing etc I also have a PlayStation and I often play the Persona series, Yakuza series, GTA 5, fallguys and rhythm games like project diva/persona dancing/fortnite festival/etc. (I love vocaloid music and vocaloids in general).
I like drawing, cosplaying/going to conventions, figure collecting, sometimes reading manga. Honestly I suck at drawing but it's always been my biggest passion.
I don't watch movies and tv often but I still have some favorites. I'm mostly into horror and crime drama type stuff. I'm a big nerd about the Saw movies especially. (It's like the perfect mix of both genres). I haven't seen many anime besides trigun stampede, chainsaw man, dragon maid, blend s and some other random ones but the ones I listed are the ones id say I genuinely like. For manga I really love junji ito stories and I've been reading goodnight punpun recently.
Also im brainrotted I'm the type of person to sit through a 3 hour YouTube video essay about a random lolcow LMFAO.
Anyway it would be nice to chat about whatever! I'm down for voice chat/playing video games if we get along well.