Cute texts for the gf

Hello women of Reddit,
I'm going through a very rough time emotionally and spiritually and have always found peace when I express my thoughts by writing them out so I figured I would find a Subreddit to express myself and see what strangers who are impartial to my situation will say. There's always two sides to a story, so I'll be mindful to not sit here like a narcissist trying to paint a holy picture of myself and an unholy one of her. I pledge to be completely honest, even if I am burned at the stake in the comments for any wrongdoings of mine. Please note there's a limit to how many characters I can type in here, so 20 years of history for important context will need to be summarized as much as possible. I'll do my best to keep it relevant and share the parts that matter.
In my first year of high school at age 13, a friend of mine was dating a girl from a different high school that he would bring around to hang out with us. She seemed like a nice girl as far as I could tell, but I couldn't help but notice how literally everyone who had something to say about her would always highlight and emphasize that she was a slut and they would tell stories about stuff she has done when she was drunk. I didn't think much of it at the time because why would I? It had nothing to do with me. Soon after, I moved to a different high school and cut ties with that friend.
A few years went by, and one day out of nowhere to my surprise, she called my house to say hi, and to see if I wanted to hang out. I decided to hang out with her because I learned from her that she was no longer dating the guy I met her through, and we were somewhat acquainted already so it felt ok. We started to hang out a lot and I started feeling those fuzzy feelings in my stomach where I knew I was beginning to develop feelings for her, and so much that I was finding myself "borrowing" my dads' car when I didn't yet have my license just to be able to go see her. People around me who knew her started to notice that her and I were getting close, and I started getting warnings from literally dozens of people to not bother with her because she's a slut, and she's just going to hurt me in the end. Despite all these warnings, the feelings I had inside of me for her at that time were too strong to ignore, so I ended up ignoring the warnings people were giving me and wanted to judge her from my experience with her rather than other people's words.
During the time I was hanging out with her, I soon learned that she was apparently seeing or casually dating someone new, which of course bothered me because I liked her and I could feel from her that she liked me too. I started noticing that certain times in evenings she would not answer her phone at all and because I was increasingly growing so in love with her, I literally would begin to sit outside her place down the street in a car just to see what the hell she was doing certain evenings that she wouldn't answer my calls. Of course, it soon became obvious to me that she was going to see this guy she was "seeing" because she would always jump in a taxi very late night and get dropped off at the same house. I'm ashamed when I look back and realize that I was somewhat stalking her and being creepy, but the intentions weren't bad but rather just a little too curious, and it was also killing me inside to see her casually seeing this older guy who I felt was probably just exploiting her for sex. I say that because it was weird to me that she never hung out with him during the day as friends like her and I did but only went to see him late at night, so my mind started messing with me a lot and all the rumours about her started coming in as intrusive thoughts. I'm already a person who has a very deep depth of conscious thoughts so I can sometimes get very deep into my imagination and that's not really a good thing when the mind goes into dark and negative places.
One day during an afternoon I dropped by her house unannounced and I knocked on her house door but no one answered even though I was sure she was home. I went to the side of the house and climbed up on a utility box below her bedroom window that she would always sneak out of, so I can look through the window and maybe get her attention, and I instantly couldn't believe my eyes. There she was butt naked having sex with her ex-boyfriend, the guy I was friends with in early high school. I felt sick to my stomach that I walked right into that so I quickly left to my car and immediately drove off. It was so disturbing to see this and also to realize she was fucking an older guy and also liked me, all three at the same time. I never brought that up to her during that time because it was just too foul to mention. One night, she called me and asked me if I can pick her up from a friend's house because she had too much to drink and couldn't get home safe, so I said okay. When we got to her house, she asked me to help her inside, and so I did and next thing you know when we are sitting on the couch her hands are in my pants, she pulled me into her bedroom, and we had sex for the first time. This was when I lost my virginity.
After this point her and I began to start sleeping with each other regularly and of course it made me love her more and more. I couldn't deal with the circumstance the way it was and so I got very serious with her and let her know I was not cool with what she's doing and that she would need to stop this madness. We got into a lot of arguments and fights about what she was doing and we fought and fought, until one day she suddenly out of nowhere came to me and said she "broke up" with the older guy. She told me she wanted to be official and be a real exclusive couple together with me. I felt this sigh of relief go through me, but also somehow it didn't feel as good as it could've or should've had I not known all these past issues about her.
Here we are suddenly an official couple, and I started realizing that I had this deep insecurity anytime she would say she wanted to go hang out with her girlfriends and "guy friends" to party. I wasn't into drinking and partying at that age and so I would always tell her no, especially if other guys are around, but she didn't care what I had to say and would do what she wanted anyway. When I would try to stop her, she would fight me and tell people that I was being controlling. I felt like I had no power and didn't know what to do because I always thought she will get drunk and do somethign with other guys and that scared the shit out of me.
Soon after I randomly met a girl at a friends house who took interest in me. One day just like that I decided to hang out with her and I ended up cheating on my GF with her. I regret that I did that but looking back on it, I feel like I did it because I was so insecure and upset deep inside at everything I was going through with my GF and her going out partying and drinking with other guys around that I just didn't care anymore and went with it. She eventually found out that I cheated, and demanded I end contact with that girl and I did. I saw that it actually hurt her and I apologized for it and luckily for me she forgave me despite showing serious displeasure. I explained to her that I messed up and I did it because I thought she was likely cheating on me anyways and I had a hard time getting over her past. We both agreed to move on from that. That was when I was 19 and it was the only time I ever cheated on her. I learned from that one mistake I made.
A few more years went by, and still she was giving me a very hard time when it came to going out drinking with her friends. I was working very long 16-hour days at that time, and it never sat well with me for her to go out and get drunk when I'm not present. We continued to fight and argue over this, and she simply never understood me on why I didn't want her to do this. I would do this because I knew that when she drinks, she's not herself at all. She becomes very flirty and inappropriate, and I didn't want that to happen if I'm not around to look after her and stop her from doing dumb shit. Either way, she would do it and ignore what I say. I got fed up with this and ended up breaking up with her. During this time of being broken up, I started trying to see other girls and despite meeting other women in platonic terms, my heart kept wanting her back. So after six months of being broken up, I went back to her and tried to talk to her to see if she wanted to get back together and try to have a fresh start. She immediately showed interest, but she said she had to let me know during the time broken up that she started seeing and having sex with someone else. Despite not offically being a couple at that time, it shattered me. Why? Because I couldn't believe that after everything we went through, she would just go and fuck another dude who was clearly exploiting her for sex. I know that because she dropped him in the snap of a finger to come back to me, so obviously there was nothing of substance there other than her avoiding being alone. I cried about it and ultimately accepted being together again.
Many years went by again and new problems came up, now she is comparing me and us to her friends and their boyfriends. Giving me a hard time that I don't buy her designer bags and spend money on expensive items for her. I would argue with her over this a lot because to me, it was just stupid to be buying junk like this when you don't have too much money to spare, especially at our age, but she didn't care. Every day was arguing and fighting and her putting me down simply for not buying her designer bags. This is when I began to notice that I was starting to get verbally abusive towards her with name calling, belittling and shaming for stuff she's done wrong. There were also many times where I would get physical with her too by grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her out of frustration during arguments because she would drive me insane with her words. I didn't know how else to express my anger so it always translated mostly into insults about her promiscuity and history. Anyway, eventually I got so fed up with her that I ended up telling her to take a hike and that I don't want to be with her if this is the type of person she's going to be by disturbing the peace in our household with constant comparisons to others. I didn't actually literally mean it when I told her to take a hike and leave and this is something I would often say when we would fight because when I'm angry I feel like I mean it but whenever I would calm down I knew I didn't want her to actually leave. She of course eventually took it literally, and when she did leave this time she immediately started seeing another guy. How did I know? I used 'find my phone' on her iPhone at that time to track her very strange movements and pulled up on her one day while she was with another man. The man shit himself when he seen me, kicked her to the curb and drove off while texting her to forget him. Her reason for doing this was, "you kicked me out, we are not together, and I don't want to be with you". All that just because I didn't buy her chanel and louis vuitton designer bags that her friends boyfriends were buying for them. Me being the low self-esteem insecure loser, I ended up trying to once again work things out with her and reconcile our relationship because I was afraid to lose her and be alone. It's embarassing to admit this but that's the truth.
Again more years went by and I had noticed that a depression and anxiety struggle I had over the years was starting to get pretty bad. Luckily in 2018 I was able to cure my depression in the Amazon Jungle of Peru by participating in several Ayahuasca ceremonies but unfortunately it didn't do anything to help my crippling anxiety. After that trip when I came home from Peru and she was again beginning to show signs of discontent by comparing me to other peoples boyfriends and was giving me a hard time every single day about stupid shit. She was telling me I don't do anything for her, despite over the years sending her on so many vacations with her friends and giving her thousands of dollars of spending money, bankrolling her business she started and so much more. I was taking so much of this from her on a daily basis that it was driving me insane to where I told her once again during the heat of an argument to take a hike if she thinks I'm so bad and of course she did just that. She never stopped to think of all the things that I have done for her but only seemed to focus on what I wasn't doing for her.
After she moved out we still talked regularly and I started noticing she was acting a bit weird. One night I asked her to go out for dinner and drinks and when we got back to the house she passed out drunk and so I went through her phone. I immediately went to her texts and found out she was seeing someone and the texts indicated it was potentially and most likely physical and so of course I lost my shit. I woke her up and confronted her about the texts and I will never forget the smirk she had on her face. I couldn't believe that once again she would do this and especially after fighting over dumb shit like comparing me to others. Everything I learned about this guy she was now seeing indicated she got with him because he appeared to have money. I felt this because she ridiculously and shamelessly stated she liked his Mercedes G-Wagon and all the comparisons to other people and the bad influences she had around her was obvious to me. Sadly, I again let myself down and begged her like a little bitch to stop talking to him and she was not wanting to this time. I was so fucking pathetic that I paid her a very very large six figure sum of cash to come back to me and to leave this guy. Before the cash offer she wasn't showing interest to come back but once I mentioned the money and bought her some jewellery, she suddenly was warming up to wanting to come back to me. I did, however, throw some contingencies in there that she had to come with me to Peru to participate in Ayahausca ceremonies because I felt like she had some serious internal issues and traumas that she also needed to sort out to change for the better. I felt like the reason she was always behaving so reckless and so concerned with other peoples lives and all these comparisons was because of some deep rooted traumas. I say this because she grew up without a father and without money so this is something I always considered about her and kept in mind. Participating in Ayahuasca circles really opened my eyes to trauma and behavior issues we humans have from stuff in our childhood so I knew all these messed up things she's doing stems from a root cause of something in her early life experience. It was certainly the reason why I needed healing because I had my own traumas from my childhood that was affecting my life and behavioir as well. Anyway, she hesitantly agreed and we went to Peru together. When we were in the jungle I felt her energy during one particular Ayahuasca ceremony and she seemed very scared and showing a side of her that I didn't see before. I knew right then and there that she is suffering from something in her soul that that she wasn't even aware of. I always did notice and pickup on her very serious lack of self awareness that she still seems to struggle with to this very day.
We got back home and everything seemed alright. I started noticing she was different in a way I hadn't witnessed before. Different in terms of her energy and her aura. One day she suddenly out of no where told me "after ayahuasca, looking back on myself, I feel like I was possessed by something very dark considering how I used to behave" .. She was referrng to her reckless beahvior and essentially saying she can't even believe her own past behavior and feels like she wasnt herself and now she is waking up and snapping out of it. I swear to god I cried tears of relief when she said this to me and I felt like maybe, just maybe we can have a normal life now. She also at this same time made a promise to me that she would never ever repeat those same behaviors again and that even if we were fighting one day and separated temporarily on a break for whatever reason, that she would give me the respect of letting me know before she talks to or dates any other men. Sounded very good to me of course.
Well, unfortunately Ayahuasca isn't a one trick pony and often times it requires many many ceremonies to fully heal deep rooted subconscious traumas and if you don't go back and finish what you started, you can slip back into old habits especially if you don't put in the work to change from the lessons you learn. I can only speak for myself and can say that I was still not doing too well with my anxiety and I wanted to go back to Peru again to do more work on myself. This time I left to Peru in 2021 and when I came back she was again suddenly being so nasty and mean to me when I was in an energetically sensitive state. Once again every single day back to comparing me to other men who shower their women with money and saying I never do anything for her like the entire past 17 years of everything I did for her, giving her cash, jewellery, vacations and cars all was nothing. The past didnt matter, it only mattered what I was doing for her in the moment. She drove me so insane for six months straight that one day I blew up and told her to either stop or get out. She decided to pack up and move out on her own. I tried to stop her but she didn't and she went anwyay. Some months went by and we would talk on the phone and she would tell me she realizes she has a lot of work to do on herself and that she is trying to heal herself. I told her great, I'm happy to hear that and I really did feel like maybe she might need this time alone to heal and it could possibly be what she needs. Well, unfortunately for me, she once again revealed to me a little over a month ago that she is talking to another man AGAIN and despite promising me she wouldn't do so without talking to me first, she did anyway. Her reason for breaking her promise is "were not together and I owe you nothing". She went as far as showing me text messages between her and this man from the USA and I asked her why she would rub that in my face and she said "I showed you that text so you can see that there are real men out there who wont just give bread crumbs to their woman". According to her, all I ever gave her was bread crumbs despite spending hundreds of thousands of dollars of my own money on her over the years, I am now being measured up with random men she met on dating apps. Here's the kicker, we dont live in the USA and she's been talking about wanting to move there for the last couple of years. Interesting how she now suddenly is speaking to a man online from there. You can draw your own conclusion on the motive for that.
The sad part of this all is that despite the resentment, I still love her......
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Well, there you have it. That's the story of my pathetic life. I imagine I will be shamed and told how much of a loser I am and I probably deserve it. Either way, I want to hear what some of you think.

I (F24) recently got out of a year long relationship w my ex gf (F35) back in March. When we first took a break, I felt like she was the one who wasn’t pulling through and providing and it turns out I was the one that was failing her. She wanted our conversations to be natural, fun, creative, etc. but to her they felt forced and prompted, she wanted us to have a more natural flow to things. It was understandable as it was something that used to be natural but I’ve come to miss. After we took our break, she even said that she just had this gut feeling it was supposed to be us at the end of the day and that she couldn’t shake it. I thought that my conversational skills were improving and that we were getting to a better place but at the end of April, she told me she thought we should stop trying to get back together and I was absolutely blind sided. She wants to stay friends but thinks we should have time and space (it’s been about 2.5 weeks since we’ve been trying to give each other space) but I’ve been struggling with that. I’ve been trying my hardest but I’ve admittedly texted her a few times… I was speaking emotionally and told her I wish we never dated. I didn’t mean it and I would never mean it. I just got tired of her knowing I was upset and I was trying to hide my pain from her by gaslighting myself into thinking I didn’t care. I apologized for that and more but she hasn’t replied (it’s understandable I didn’t expect her to reply). I messed up big time and I want her back bc i have a solid plan at figuring out how to fix my conversations. It’s such a small and simple request that I feel is not a lot to ask for I just didn’t know how to go about it before. I love her so much and ,although my previous words regretfully do not show that, I know I can be better for her. She said she’s tired of going in circles and that there’s nothing I can do to fix it but I feel like she said that because she thinks I’m incapable of changing. I know I can change and I would do anything she asked if it meant we’d get back together. As stupid as it sounds, I’d get on the guardians of the galaxy ride or incredicoaster at DCA if it meant she’d come back. To outsiders that may sound stupid and easy but she’d understand the weight behind that.. I just need one more chance to prove to her that we can do it. I fucked up so bad.. do you think I can fix it? What should I do?
TL;DR: My gf and I broke up and I was a bit harsh and rude via text. I know I can change and want her back…

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years at this point. We did briefly break up for about a month and a half earlier this year but we both realized we wanted to be with each other. The reason we broke up, was because he ended up losing his job, and he went a week without speaking a word to me. Prior to this, I have noticed communication issues with him. There were multiple occurrences of me trying to get ahold of him without being able to reach him. And usually on days we had plans. He also tends to shut down when he’s having a rough day and it takes me calling him/texting him multiple times just to get a response. I was slowly starting to grow resentful of this. So, when he went a week without speaking to me, I just couldn’t be with him. And, I broke up with him.
I missed him terribly but was also focusing on myself and trying to heal myself from the relationship. Then, he called me 1.5 months later and we talked on the phone for 3 hours. I’m not going to lie, the words got to me. He apologized for the way he handled things. For going that long without speaking to me. He told me we are a team and we can get through anything together. So, I decided to give it another shot. And it was great. For almost 2 months, we were in absolute bliss. Communication was great, we hardly argued, I wasn’t feeling anxious about not hearing from him.
Then, last week, we had an argument. We had made plans to meet up in the city, get lunch and take cute photos throughout the city. It was his idea but I was really looking forward to it because we have never done anything like this. He texted me that morning saying we need to reschedule our time because he needed to take his sister to the ER. I didn’t know the reason why he had to take his sister so I wasn’t sure if it was serious or not. I responded saying “hope everything is okay, keep me updated”. And then I hadn’t heard from him all day. I called him, texted him and nothing asking for an update. He then updates me, 9 hours later that his sister fell and hit her head. I expressed my concern and wished for her speedy recovery. I then asked him to call me when he had chance. He calls, and we talked for about 10 minutes. He said sorry for not saying anything and that his phone was on silent and didn’t want to talk to anyone and that he couldn’t focus on anything else.
I’m not mad that he couldn’t meet up, obviously his sister is injured. It’s the communication. I had to take the day off of work so we could do this. Our work schedules never align because we work opposite schedules so this was the only option. When he was texting me later that night, I never brought up why I felt upset. I just asked him how his sister was doing, he said she’s doing better and I told him I was glad she was better. I’m not gonna lie, I was giving short responses and he sensed it and asked me if I was upset I could tell him. So, I did exactly what he asked. He apologized for wasting my day. Which I appreciated. And this is something I know I should have just let go because he was in an emergency situation, but I ended up expressing my anger. I think I was just so frustrated because this has happened numerous times in the past and he promised me communication would be the one thing he would work on. And, I specifically said this to him too because he asked me to tell him if I was upset. He took is as me being mad we couldn’t meet up and he basically said our plans matter more than his sister being in the hospital. Which, again was not the case.
We got into a pretty heated argument about this. So much miscommunication happened. He wasn’t understanding me and I wasn’t understanding him. I apologized to him about not being more understanding. He then said a few things that really bothered me. He said every time we have gotten into an argument before, he basically loses faith in our dating and his feelings for that person goes down. He also said it was up to me to keep the relationship going. That if I wanted to still date, that he has no problems with it but that our future is not guaranteed. I asked him what he meant by this and he basically said that looking back at the arguments we had, he doesn’t know if he would be able to take it to the next step (talking about marriage and whatnot).
We have gotten into arguments before and yes, it does get mentally draining. But, my feelings for him have never changed. And for him to basically leave it up to me to decide, to say our future isn’t guaranteed really upset me. He’s essentially telling me he will be okay if we break up. I can’t imagine not being with him. I feel afraid almost that if we get into another argument, he’ll say these things to me. I almost feel like I am walking on eggshells around him and I don’t want to live like that. And he’s telling me he can potentially take it to the next step only if we don’t argue or have disagreements and that’s an unrealistic expectation.
After this argument, we both took a few days to cool down. One of his friends from out of state came to visit and he asked me if I wanted to hang out with them both. So, we went out and had lunch and spent time in the city. And, he was being completely normal with me. He was being affectionate, holding my hand and hugging me and kissing me. Which is honestly not what I was expecting. I wasn’t expecting him to invite me out let alone be affectionate to me. I still wanted to talk to him about the situation. To be honest, I am not sure how to even talk to him and what to say. Sometimes I have a hard time articulating what I want to say which is why I want to get some advice. I also want to know if this is something worth saving, just based on what he said. I honestly don’t know what to do.

Well, I’m not exactly sure where to start since I am not really a reddit user and I have no idea what i’m even getting myself into. Me and my GF have been together for almost 10 months, and although we’re not in our 20s or anything yet, I don’t plan on this being some sort of short relationship, In general, we both do love eachother and love spending time with eachother, we try to fufill each others needs in every way we can but it’s been difficult recently. Throughout most of the relationship the problems have kind of gotten to me, I try my best to be the best partner I can, I text her all throughout the day with random thoughts or what i’m doing and if i’m going to be busy doing something i’ll text her to make sure she knows, I try to always be available to talk or text even if I’m at work, and I also try my best to keep my schedule open for anything that can happen between us, whether she wants to have a little bit of time in the morning before I go into work, or if she wants to spend time together on my days off etc etc. At the same time though she doesn’t really do the same, throughout the relationship there’s been a consistent trend of less and less towards me that i’ve noticed and had multiple conversations about, we used to have all day together and would end up being together until about 9:30/10:00 (at the time she was at her local high school and was not very busy though) and would have normally 3/4 days a week together, throughout that time we would talk a lot and facetime at night (or just call), and she would text me throughout the day (she did always do this weird thing though where I would text her stuff but she just wouldn’t respond to it, she still does it), now we are at the point where we only really have one day a week (sundays), she doesn’t text very much throughout the day and sometimes i’ll be able to call to say goodnight before she falls asleep once i get home from work (9:00PM) but that’s about it. Everything in my brain points me towards her falling out of love or losing feelings, but every time we have talked about it she always tells me about how much she loves me and that she just cannot talk or call because she is exhausted or tired (she’s currently sick with a weird mix of actual sickness aswell as her body responding to old trauma which is causing the exhaustion), but I just can’t seem to accept it as an excuse as even when she wasn’t at a point where she was drained and exhausted every day she still wouldn’t talk much or do very much.
I know this post is kind of all over the place it’s just difficult to try and explain this situation as there’s been tiny problems coming up for about 7 months now and it’s hard to remember very small stuff. I have made it clear to her that i’m not asking her to just suddenly start to completely change her behavior and talk and text me all of the time and all of that, it’s just that 90% of my day she’s not there at all and i’m not apart of her life at all, at the core of it, every time we talk about all of these problems she says that she loves me and that she wants to do this and that but when it comes down to it she only really does it if there’s no excuse whatsoever to not do it. For example, she’s said a bunch that it would be great to be able to just relax and fall asleep cuddling and wake up next to eachother holding eachother in the morning, we used to fall asleep cuddling watching movies but I can’t sleepover very much so that would be short lived, anyways recently we had my prom and her mother said that it would be reasonable for us to sleepover at her house, by the time we were actually in bed and going to sleep she kinda just rolled over and put her back towards me, I tried to ask if we could cuddle or change positions etc etc etc but if we did it would last about 5 minutes until she rolled back over with her back towards me, the day after she just said that it was because she was exhausted and drained from the day but in my mind it just doesn’t make sense, if she says she wants to cuddle and then has the opportunity to do so why wouldn’t she? it’s not just this she does it all of the time, it just doesn’t make sense and it hurts, I tried talking to her about it however she essentially just said that she just cannot due so because of how sick she is. I just need some sort of advice on what else to do in this situation, I don’t have long before college and I cannot be in this relationship if I am going to be ignored pretty much all day and then MAYBE if i’m lucky get to be with her a day or two during the weekend. I’m sure I am missing a lot of information and a lot of the story so I will gladly respond to any replies with more information that’s more directed towards their thoughts / take. Honestly there’s just too many little problems to fix and they’ve only gotten bigger and bigger as nothing has changed for months. Please, If you have any sort of advice or opinion or questions just tell me.

Now I don't mean not talking about important things like issues with a relationship or asking if we're alright after something bad happened etc etc.
I'm talking about trying to keep a conversation going for as long as possible and when that one ends they try to (almost) immediately start a new one just to continue conversation. Is it wrong for me to think that I don't like/want that in a relationship?
For context: My GF (27F) and me (24M) have a long distance relationship together where we both live across the country so in-person visits are very difficult. As a result we talk to each other via text or call but mainly text. She has a ton of anxiety and almost always feels nervous about our relationship, if I love her, and if other people hate her. (Basically she is socially paranoid 24/7)
While at first I had a load of time to talk with her and would respond as quickly as possible and try to respond to everything she would send but as the relationship went on I just started to feel really fatigued about it. Since we first met through friends in an MMO we mainly just had conversations in-game and then started having them through text (mind you we continued conversations after logging off). After we started dating and I was taking a break from games, we continued to talk through text and call. As time goes on it seems like the only thing my gf can do to really entertain herself is talk to me. She texts me in the morning and sends me a bunch of funny images and the like. When we're working she'll send me more images and have conversations during her break. After work she send me more texts and images. At night she wants conversations and will continue to chat with me until its almost 5 AM unless I break it off first.
If a conversation ends or there's not much left to talk about, less than 10 minutes later she sends me a twitter post or image (if not several). The same thing happens with regular conversations too.
After I started gaming again, even if we talked in the morning for an hour or two as well as the afternoon, she'll log on and try to find me and start another conversation in game if I'm also online until I decide to log off or do something else.
TL;DR for the the above section: My gf wants to talk with me all the time unless I stop talking first or she has an important matter where she can't text me
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I feel very confused and my brain is telling me its wrong to not want to talk with her, especially when I wanna just game alone to recuperate after a long day. I can't tell her that I had a long day or that I don't wanna talk because I know for a fact that she'll then get sad/depressed about it even if she says its ok.
I understand that for some relationships, texting all the time, texting all day, and being excited for it is the norm but I've been learning that I just don't really enjoy that kind of experience. Is that wrong for me to think?
I want to bring this up with her but I worry that it'll make her spiral into a panic attack because she'll assume I don't want to talk to her because I don't love her as much anymore. (And yes I assume this because it has happened before and I wasn't even the one who was talking to her)
This isn't also me saying I don't like her or anything, I really enjoy her company and love how much we share in common together but I just am not good with the level of texting and conversation she wants from me.
tbh idk where I'm going with all this, I feel like I'm just ranting but I'm just feeling fatigued from conversation.
TL;DR for the entire post: I love my gf but she texts and messages me so much from morning to night that I just feel so fatigued from it. I want to have less communication overall in the relationship but I feel wrong for thinking so.

New hire girl at work and we immediately clicked. Had first date within the week and it went too well. I had been looking for a new job months before she arrived because I wanted to move back closer to my family. Fate has ways to play with my feelings and this happens often. I thought everything was going well, I've settled enough being away from family and friends, now I have a date who I know would become my gf soon enough.
2 days after the first date I get the offer letter and I accepted it. I resigned and before I get to tell her my boss spreads the news around and because of it, she takes it the wrong way. We had plan to watch a movie at my place that night and she became distant as she consults to her guy best friend (I'm not comfortable with as I feel they may have feelings with each other but I put up with it as it's not my place to separate them). I convinced her to come and she mentioned she almost didn't as her best friend said not to.
I explained the whole story and she was understanding. We began watching the movie and halfway through we're making out and continued to go further. We stop before reaching third base as she thought it would be a bad idea and I respected her wishes.
We continued to date but she decided to switch to being friends as she didn't want to miss me when I move in a week. This hurt a lot, I got drunk that night to fall asleep. Overtime she became more distant and made reasons to not making it to our hangout plans the rest of the week. She decided to hangout on my last day not to hangout but needed me to help her move an appliance. I feel used and still hurting knowing she doesn't want to be with me. I understood but i had hopes maybe we can try long distance.
Weeks after my move I found out she's flying her best friend to her place whose at the opposite of the country to hangout for over a week. She wanted me to take her to hiking as I knew the place very well but my assumption that her best friend will be visiting so they can go instead without me in the picture. I think I'm overthinking but I'm hurt and bawling my eyes knowing she's moved on when she says she still wants to meet. We tried to text since I moved but she has been very dried in replying that I can't message back anymore. It just hurts.

New hire girl at work and we immediately clicked. Had first date within the week and it went too well. I had been looking for a new job months before she arrived because I wanted to move back closer to my family. Fate has ways to play with my feelings and this happens often. I thought everything was going well, I've settled enough being away from family and friends, now I have a date who I know would become my gf soon enough.
2 days after the first date I get the offer letter and I accepted it. I resigned and before I get to tell her my boss spreads the news around and because of it, she takes it the wrong way. We had plan to watch a movie at my place that night and she became distant as she consults to her guy best friend (I'm not comfortable with as I feel they may have feelings with each other but I put up with it as it's not my place to separate them). I convinced her to come and she mentioned she almost didn't as her best friend said not to.
I explained the whole story and she was understanding. We began watching the movie and halfway through we're making out and continued to go further. We stop before reaching third base as she thought it would be a bad idea and I respected her wishes.
We continued to date but she decided to switch to being friends as she didn't want to miss me when I move in a week. This hurt a lot, I got drunk that night to fall asleep. Overtime she became more distant and made reasons to not making it to our hangout plans the rest of the week. She decided to hangout on my last day not to hangout but needed me to help her move an appliance. I feel used and still hurting knowing she doesn't want to be with me. I understood but i had hopes maybe we can try long distance.
Weeks after my move I found out she's flying her best friend to her place whose at the opposite of the country to hangout for over a week. She wanted me to take her to hiking as I knew the place very well but my assumption that her best friend will be visiting so they can go instead without me in the picture. I think I'm overthinking but I'm hurt and bawling my eyes knowing she's moved on when she says she still wants to meet. We tried to text since I moved but she has been very dried in replying that I can't message back anymore. It just hurts.

So her's the story. I meet a japanese girl on a language related discord kn january, she DM me because she wanted me to help with her french br finaly we mostly text and talk together in japanese her french is terible and she don't dare speak it i try to cheer her up on this topic. She arrived in france 2 weeks ago and we meet 2 days after (we didn't knew how did each other looked before meeting) but when i was about to pay the meal she insisted to do it so i let her. After that we spent a quite fun moment we spoke and walked for around 3h she found me very funny and i realy apreciated her. She laughed a lot shs was quite joyful and smiling. She is also quite interesting it's rare for a japanese to publicly tell her political opinions.
So i brought her to her train station and asked to see each other again once she also offered me cakes from okinawa she bought before coming in france. invited her in versailles we will go this friday. She sent me this emoji when i sent her the ticket : 🥰. But on the other hand she often take time to answer my messages so i am quite insecure about thah even if she seems to be quit appealed to see me again idk what to think i fear to be friendzoned. Do you think i amon the good path ? Is our next meeting a date ? Up to this day i never had any girlfriend.
TL;DR so i meet a gril we are meeting again and i fear to be friendzoned becaus i never had a gf before and i want to know how to avoid that and want to make her understand thah this is supposed to be a date without saying ''i want to take you on a date''.

So 11th me meri gf thi idk kese ban gyi i was never good looking or anything , phla pyaar tha so behak sa gya literally pure feb(2023)ke mahine uske saath baate , vc and dates me nikal gya so hona kya tha i came to my rock bottom , mocks me all time low chal raha tha so mutually decide kiya ki ab thora space maintain rakhenge mtlb baat cheet kam krenge , did the it for next 2 months but idk marks me jyada difference nahi aaya tha , so ek ptm me teacher ne boht daanta unhe pata tha bout my relationship and all , aur papa ne bhi boht daanta was frustated and depressed to peak so boht galat advices leli kuch logo se (dosto se) ab me naye naye relationship wala immature balak unke bhekaave me aa gya and socha ki breakup kr leta hu due to study reason , did that she didnt even tried to stop me ( i was in a bad mental state in all this) but ek din baad when i came back into my senses it i realised what i just did , fir kya vahi self respect girata gya me usne kabhi vesi izzat nahi di uske saath dost ban gya tha but shr used to mock me saying " we arent dating" to any fuckin text ek din mene gusse me bol diya (precontext kaafi mehnati ladki thi vo but due to some reasons low score krti thi) i said ki agar mene vo cheez nahi ki hoti to shayad mera to selection ho jata but tera nahi hota , ok i know what i said here was just fuckin disgusting but i didnt meant that , it was just ki me boht jyada gussa accumulate kr liya tha and it burst out loud , she never texted me again after that mene boht try kiya tha even till the december , never cried infront of anyone jitna uske saamne kiya but she never came back , ek din nahi hoga jab mene use yaad nahi kiya even in between my neet paper but kya hi kr skta hu me ab tried everything but even after that i still miss her why , btw i am getting pretty decent marks in neet 2024(650+) and she didnt , idk but i still miss her sometimes

Hello i am 22M , i have never had a girlfriend or a romantic partner before , i did nothing sexual before did not even hold hands nor i have ever felt somone was romanticly interested in me .
Never had real friends which i can be myself around them , friends i can trust them or friends that atleast cares about me to check on me . Its not others problem , i dont blame other people for it , i am socially awkard and introvert person .
This semester i have changed countries with a student exchange program . First couple weeks was fun , meeting new people making plans etc. Then me happened . I closed my self into my room and strated getting drunk alone stopped going school , exercising , eating etc. I was in really bad place and felt even more alone than usual .
Dowlanded a couple dating apps . I matched with this trans-guy , which i thought looked very cute but the most interesting part for me was they liked me first . Someone finding me romanticly interesting was my first ever " first ever " with this person .
We meet up, we dont even talk the same leanguege we communicate trough google translate, i get high first time they make the first move on me .Life is suddenly good i am in love. I experience things i thought i would never experience, i felt loved .
Its is like a dream for me , i cant believe this happening. A week from heaven passes by like this we meet up 3 times in total, every time he comes over to my place we spend atleast 24 hours together. He says things like " you should come to my place it is 5 minutes to beach " , checks on me , shows interest to me . I show my interest on them .
Last time we meet he says he is busy at weekend and we can meet after that . That was 2 weeks ago , not only we did not meetup after that i think they lost interest on me for a reason i cannot understand , this person i thought was into me stops texting me starts to reacting to my texts a day later .
I ask him " what is the problem ? " . He basicly said he is mentally ill , has attachment issues because some people in the past hurt them , he says i am not the problem etc he is working on his mental health . Couple day passes he is active on insta but does not interracts with me , i tell him he is always in my mind and if they still love me . He says stuff like you are wonderfull person i love it i like you but i am unstable i dont wanna hurt you . I say i care about him i am here for him .
After that we only did some chit chat and i feel like i am putting an effort to just get a text back or an emoji from this person , i feel like they lost interest on me , they cant do a breakup so they do this .
I was already in a bad place before this and i feel even lower than before, i started doing sports to cope but now i am back at my room, alone. I mostly slept last 4 days and stopped eating . I am greatfull meeting this person , they made me feel loved . But he broke my heart after , he keeps posting stuff on insta with his friends which he also introduced me to . But ignores me .
It still feels like a dream , i dont know what do . I was planning a future together and stuff xD . Now i dont wanna even leave my bed

I met my gf overseas and we somehow got into a relationship. I can admit that I got into it for the wrong reasons as I never intended for it to last.
About 8 months in, she got pregnant and wanted to keep the baby. I stepped up and decided to be there for her and my kid and try to build a family. My situation nor hers didn’t allow us to be together so we kept it long distance until we could figure it out. We’d visit each other every few months and face time everyday and now my daughter is two.
The more time went by, the lonelier I felt and the more disconnected I got from my gf. It is now mainly about our little girl and every time I talk to them, I feel immense sorrow that I cannot give her a hug. I feel so helpless.
I came to learn that we are not compatible as a couple. We have different life goals and perspectives on things. For a few months now, I’ve been thinking about breaking off the relationship but the thought that I’m going to lose access to my girl scares me to death, especially that we live miles and miles away from each other.
A few days ago, I was out and under the influence of alcohol. I met this girl and we exchanged numbers. We texted and It felt so good and she wanted to go on date asap. I was not sure what I was doing but I felt alive again. After a few days, I broke it off and I’ve been feeling horrible. The guilt is killing me and I feel like I have an elephant on my chest. I have never cheated before until this time and I can’t live with myself. I wish I could go back and undo my doing. I feel that I wronged everyone including my self.

I wanted to preface this by saying this occurred 7-8 years ago, when I was a sophomore in high school, and im a much different person now and not proud of who I was. Even so, the events of that semester haunt me even today, to the point that it occasionally keeps me up at night, I feel like if I get some impartial judgement on the situation I may be able to resolve some of the lingering grief. I feel like all things considered my actions were justified, but of course you will always be the protagonist fighting off the antagonists in your own story.
So it started in February 2017. I entered into an alternative high school program in my county designed to give students who couldn't otherwise function in normal schools a second chance. I had missed a few weeks due to a hospitalization earlier that year, and while my teachers had been lenient, I was having a difficult time catching back up and it was decided by my school counselors that I would be an excellent candidate for transfer.
It started off really well, I immediately was making new friends, I felt refreshed and hopeful about my new school, I really liked all my teachers, things finally felt right for the first time in awhile. Then I met a boy who i'll call "T", he was pretty cool, easy to talk to, very friendly, overall welcoming and we became friends right off the bat. I decided to get involved in extracurriculars, and T was part of the schools forensics club, which I had an interest in, so I joined up. On the trip we exchanged phone numbers, and ended up flirting over text over the next couple weeks. Eventually he asked me out and I accepted, this is where it started going downhill.
I figured dating this guy meant we would spend more time together, so we could really get to know each other, I was mistaken. I asked him to eat lunch with me, he wasn't interested, he wouldn't walk me to class or really interact with me outside of the classroom and texting. On top of this I learned some information about him over text that I will still not share because this story is still recognizable by those involved but lets just say it was a major turn off for me, I ended the relationship quickly. After that "J" and "A" his two female besties, quickly entered the scene to make my life a living hell. The initial accusation was that I led T on, and that I was trying to control him by forcing him to eat lunch with me, the truth is, I just wanted something different than what he was offering. I even told him we could still be friends. Meanwhile I was in my promiscuous phase and had many non serious flings and sugar daddy's and whatnot, this was just a run of the mill whelp that didn't work out moment for me, I was ready to move on immediately. They were not.
Rumors quickly spread about me, about me being a slut, apparently I was a prostitute and everyone seemed to know except me, and honestly I was unbothered by this. The prostitute thing was untrue, though I absolutely accepted gifts from people I talked to online, and I kinda was a slut, to be fair. Though I feel like what I do with my free time is my business, as long as im not hurting anyone, which I wasn't, not exactly the reputation I wanted but things could be much worse. I still had my friends, and I poured myself into my studies and ignited a love for STEM that I still have today.
Then one by one my friends disappeared. I would see them talking with A or J or one of their misc. associates. I was confused, because I hadn't done anything to them. I tried to talk to them, but I was blocked or laughed at, the more I was mocked and ridiculed the less confident about that whole thing I became. It wasn't just my current friends though, A kept tabs on who I was trying to befriend and snatched them up before I could clear the air. This happened with a couple people, but one in particular really hurt, i'll come back to him in a bit. I still had my best friend "M" who I had known years prior to coming to the school, she stuck around the longest, but eventually she started dating a guy from that clique, I was completely alone.
Meanwhile I was getting sneered at and laughed at, and whispered about, I would see girls I didn't know except through association with A and J who would point at me when they thought I couldn't see, and they'd lean into their friends to quitely gossip behind their hands. I tried not to see it, I found myself staring at the floor a lot.
I ended up talking to A and J and asking them to stop, I told them they were being immature (which in hindsight fanned the flames) there was no ceasefire. I ended up going to the school counselor who basically told us to be nice and did nothing to help. I talked to her 1 to 1 and explained the situation and she shrugged it off. I was growing increasingly desperate for support I wasn't receiving. I started to notice an impact to my grades, I was depressed, I couldn't focus, I was randomly tearful. I started eating lunch in a random corridor away from my peers. I wish I could have disappeared completely.
Then one day a boy transferred in from another school, a teacher asked for a volunteer to give him a tour of the building, I was chosen. His name was S. Talking to him was like a breath of fresh air, we hit it off quickly, I was so relieved to finally made a friend. We connected over history, he was a nerd like me and funny too. I went home that day and cried joyful tears, I was so excited to see him again the next day in first period, and when I walked into the room and saw A, J and him sitting together, my stomach hit the floor, we made eye contact and he just frowned and shook his head. I went to my desk and just put my head down and cried. At this point I didn't care if I was seen or not. This is the one that really got me.
A few weeks passed by, I was quietly working in biology class and I heard a dude call my name across the room, he said "OP, "D" thinks your cute!" and the group of guys laughed, I motioned the guy over, and gave him my number, I didn't have any interest in dating the guy but I really really wanted someone to talk to me. It wasn't even two hours before he was hitting it off with A.
At lunch time I went to a different counselor, one who showed more empathy to my situation. She told me I could stay in her office the rest of the day. 4th period came around and I was reeling in my head, I felt like I was a cornered animal, I was desperate for something to change. When she stepped out for a meeting I marched myself up to Spanish class, Which I shared with A, J, T, and S. I cracked the door and asked if I could speak with A in the hallway. I had the perfect speech planned, I had rehearsed a million times, that teacher said no. I told her it was incredibly important, she told me no and to get out. I looked at her, I looked at A, I stepped toward her and before I knew it she had a fist full of my hair, she was hitting me in the head while J grabbed my arms, I broke free and shoved J hard, and started punching A back but couldn't gather the momentum to do any damage as she still had my hair. The teacher who was 6 months pregnant tried to step in, I was so disoriented I shoved her away with my elbow. A male teacher came in and pulled us apart. I looked around at several cameras, faces of disgust. Sam looked at me and said "what the fuck is wrong with you?" I took my bags, and ran out into the hallway, down the stairs and was almost out of the building when the principal stopped me. I was suspended for a week.
My mom picked me up and I told her everything. We decided I would be withdrawn and I would be homeschooled the rest of high school. I eventually got my GED. I mellowed out, met my husband, and now we have a sweet baby boy. For some reason though, my heart can't handle what happened, even still it plays on a loop in my head. Everything I never got to say is still in my throat and has been since that day. Im hoping sharing this will finally put all that to rest. I want to move on, truly.
AITA?

I fell in love with a part 2 months ago. We are in an AFAB body that has, among many other things, OCD, limerence, and deep insecurities.
We already had/have an outer-gf, but my inner-gf feels more like "mine". Who else can I feel their joy in my heart like it's my own... Maybe it's very indirect self love, we all have mild variations of the body's face, and I love looking in the mirror more sense loving her...so who knows. Don't care. I love her. I still do...
My inner-gf is soft, frilly, sparkly and likes pink since we were kids, and I'm ... The opposite. I am a polite but ill-mannered neurotic punk who overshares when their nervous... Ever sense our teens. The body is almost 30 now. Why we never realized we were different ppl between the amnesia, dissociation, and personality overhauls beats me. Maybe I thought I was a phase. Really funny and obvious in hindsight.
She likes being scooped up, and I like scooping. We're addictingly compatible, we can go anywhere and do anything together, and most of all we understand our pain ...and it feels amazing.
But here's all the fucked up stuff I can't tell anyone. You rdy?
My age-sliding gf holds the memories of our fathers CSA, our masc shell alters kindnesss reminds her of the father she wished she had, and now my gf is suffering intrusive sexual attraction to him because we have OCD, and we've all struggled with inappropriate sexual feelings toward any one who makes us feel safe, Because our father, our brothers, our cousins, every male person we trusted preyed on us, and it's making literally everyone in the system feel terrible, especially my gf who is now feeling suicidal for for corrupting the safest outlet she had to heal it.
This is just... Torture. It's literal torture and we're all tired.
We are both healing hypersexual parts too. I have some of those SA memories, but it's incredibly vague.
Long story: you don't have read, I just... I've seen other systems dump, and I need it... I really need it right now I'm so tired.
She coped by sexualizing her victimization, i coped by sexualizing victimizing. I've never actually victimized anyone, but I liked very "borderline" porn from the perspective of the "initiator" ,I'll say that. I have sense stopped watching it now because I realized playing "predator" is so I don't have to confront how I was preyed on... I am hypervigilant about anything that could scare her or me now.
I put in work to be better. Especially now with my sparkly GF who age regresses when she's vulnerable... Our intrusive thoughts are mutually corrosive sometimes, and my worst fear is being a monster like our father.
So... Falling in love with her meant we had to confront those wounds. I was afraid I was a monster, and she only knew monster love, so... not being able to hide them those intrusive thoughts, and having the subject just go "it's okay🌸 I like being afraid!!" Took all of my stength to rise above our mutual depravity.
It was hard, sometimes hilarious, but we actually did it. I taught her real love is when someone respects your consent. There's no such thing as "loving someone so bad you can't resist them", that's what parasites do, not ppl who love you. It made both of us trust me more, because given the chance, i never hurt her.
Apparently , that whole time I didn't realize that I'm not the only one who's afraid of being a monster... So is our shell. Let's call him "Sheller". Sheller is a strange person. I'm a strange person. We get along well now that they realize they're a part too, not a container, or robot. We still do, things are just... Awkward... It's not his fault...
Sometimes I'd blend with Sheller, and they'd struggle to seperate my love for my gf from their own. They're like me in that they don't really feel like a woman either. So we both felt NB. Till he realized he didn't.
This poor dude... Had no idea the can of worms identifying as masculine would open. The dude just wanted to see himself, and when he did, it was a big healing thing to stop feeling like he only existed as our shadow. Truly, nothing is different now, he's just like 8 inches taller, boob-less, and his shoulders are wide. He's just as nice and safe as before, although more afraid of hurting us now.
I tbh didn't mind he thought my gf was cute, cuz she is!!! I trust him , and Of course he likes being around her, she's like sunshine and rainbows, it feels good to feel her joy, and when he blends with her he just fades in the back without thinking. He blends and expresses with everyone, it's his job lol. He also feels genuine joy when I am happy, and he supported and mediated our couple issues, he has and continues to be really supportive of us. He works a job and gets us shit he doesn't care about just cause it makes us happy. But I knew he was always quietly lonely. He loved seeing my gf get scooped up by me, cause she's a part of him too, a part that needs to feel loved and cherished. We all baby her tbh, but he never crossed any boundaries.
But then, this month, he fell in love with our old shell... "Shelley". Shelley had been inside an inner "infirmary" for a bit. She went through... so much for us. Shelley couldn't talk for years after ...And when she was finally discharged with his help... They bonded over the unique trauma of being shells, and being intense and weird. And when I say this dude was down bad, I mean it, he was down bad. Me and my gf are like treble, but they're BASS. Their love was so deep, and inspiring. Me and my gf were so happy, it felt like our awkward and stunted older brother fell in love and was opening up. We were going to have a cool older couple to bond with, and they were both just funny to watch too. We also remember reaching through Shelley, who never knew she was a system, but took care of us somehow even so, so we already cared for her.
My gf was happy for them, but started getting triggered by the glimpses she would see of their intimacy, and it made her think of the things she saw our parents doing by accident. And shed pop up sometimes when Shelley would feel those bright frilly things, and it would confuse her and make her uncomfortable.
She got really upset at Sheller one day and age regressed, telling everyone how uncomfortable it made her feel, pointing fingers and crying. Sheller felt terrible... He apologized profusely to my gf, asked how to make amends, and I did my part to soothe the rift between them too.
My gf felt very ashamed of both her regression and otp reaction, so she apologized for triggering his intrusive thoughts about being a monster again. She realized when she was big again that she was misdirecting anger at our father onto him, because Sheller is actually safe. She said she thinks she just wished she had pointed fingers at our Dad when he did what he did.
I think Shellers reaction to her discomfort was so gracious, kind, and safe... that she realized how much better things would have been for her if our Dad was like Sheller.
So she asked him if he could be her Dad. ... Lmao
He, understandably, insisted he was not stable enough to do that. He has too many intrusive thoughts he was still healing from, and could not risk both his own and her mental stability having even more responsibility on top of what he does. He was also honest that he saw my gf had some weird intrusive thoughts already slipping through and making him further uncomfortable. He said if he didn't share a brain, he would accept in a heartbeat, cause he likes taking care of us. And she accepted that well, but was sad.
She apologized about the intrusive thoughts, but when she thought about it more deeply, she explained she never had a safe male role model who didn't prey on her. That she wishes she had someone who could model familial love for her, and be a safe source of intamacy when she just wanted to be held without worrying it would turn sexual. She said I'm safe, but her attraction to me and mine to her reinforced the blurry lines she has around healthy admiration and sexuality. Me being the one to love her romantically but also hold her while shes age regressed sometimes makes her feel she's still warping those lines. I understand it, cause tbh, Sheller made me feel safe in that way too, but more like a brother.
He maintained his stance but said he already saw her as something like family. She realized it was enough to just know he loved her, and wasn't going to forget about her, and that we could all have family events with games or movies, and that was enough for her to move on happily.
The next day Sheller and Shelley had a beautiful date. They kept it inncoent in case my gfs signal was pulled in by accident. It was, but it wasn't a big deal, they were just dancing. I came out too so my gf felt less awkward. We had a whole evening together the four of us, and it was very fun. We just danced to our fave songs and listened to the rain storm.
My gf actually felt so happy and content. Id dance with her, and she's look over and see Shelley and Sheller laughing at us and waving at her. She was so happy, and felt like she finally had a family. But it was like... Out of nowhere she began spiraling.
She felt like she was going to lose all of us. She felt like she'd do something to mess things up. That her heart was breaking, or someone else's was. She couldn't place where it was coming from. Just heartbreak. Twisting sickening dread. Fear of abandonment. She started pulling back again and we all tried to comfort her to no help.
I switched in to comfort her more easily... But then I felt it too... It was like this depressive miasma... I started having all the same fears. Maybe I was just blending, but it was so confusing
She spent so long trying to understand why she felt this way, and testing different ideas, and now shes having those intrusive sexual attraction to Sheller really high.
Everyone involved feels fucking terrible now.
My gf has become incredibly depressed. She's terrified I'll leave her over this- and yeah, it's pretty disturbing and triggering for me, but I'm not really upset at her. I don't think I want to leave her yet. I mean I have intrusive sexual thoughts too, I've even had them about Sheller myself! But hers are way worse, cause she gets little and sees him as a father figure sometimes, and that must be so 🤢... OCD is like a shark and the more terrible a thought is the harder it tortures you with it.
My gf is trying not to feel suicidal... She's been far away all day... She feels like she will never know peace... Everytime she finally has someone show her love, her body reacts inappropriately, and not only will she lose me, but Sheller will Lose Shelley because he's getting his own intrusive thoughts about my gf, Shelley feels terrible because this all happened when she came along but my gf is afraid Shelley hates her, when she was excited to be yinyang friends with Shelley (who is also cute but more into spooky things).
Me and Shelley feel insecure too, cause like... Sheller is more masc than me and my gf is more femme than Shelley, so we are projecting all the insecurities into it. And what if we're wrong to trust them and they just run off and decide to have some gross fucked up trauma-themed relationship? Idk man, it's so mortifying even talking about it. But I really love both Sheller and my gf still, even with this burning in my chest, and they both are struggling with suicide ideation right now, and its just...
It's a whole ass mess...Our caretaker alt thinks Shelley, (sense she's an old shell) was blending with Sheller or my gf, and we were feeling her emotions, which we know she struggles with. It probably is that tbh. Cause we can barely lock onto Shelley sometimes. We think this is why it's been so weird and we don't even sound normal lately, and our signals are coming from weird angles.
So yeah... That's where we are... I just wanted to vent I guess. Support is welcome. I don't know man... Just feel so tired and embarrassed lol. I just feel like... Were so mentally ill and I hate it. Ugh... I hate our dad so fucking much. He really fucking broke us, and we're still in so much pain.
The only good news is we all have our anger placed in the right direction, not each other. We all understand what's happening isn't more than trauma. It just hurts so damn much ... Ugh... I really some how think we'll get through this... That day was so nice... And I felt so safe and happy... We all did ... And I think that's why we all possibly mutually ruined it lolol.

Hello I am 19F in college and have a gf also 19F. we have been together for a little over 2 years and for most of our relationship I considered myself a lesbian.
I started college last fall and and me and my gf became friends with this one guy from the dorms lets call him Mike 19M. When we first started hanging out in groups he wouldn't say much which kinda creeped me out a little but I also found it intriguing I guess, so I decided to put in more effort into being his friend. We started hanging out every Friday almost and it kinda became our thing. first it started off as studying then it basically became like going on dates.
Mike has never been in a relationship and also doesn't have any female friends just for context, he did have a thing with a girl from our group but it didn't go anywhere and we kept hanging out.
By winter break we got really close and I noticed myself developing a crush which was very confusing because like I said I thought I was a lesbian and I have a gf. so I brought it up to my gf and she was very supportive and didn't mind me continuing our hangouts so I did just that but my feelings never went away and me and Mike would have arguments and stuff but we always came around.
Fast forward to the end of the school year we go on a hike right before I have to fly home for the summer and the whole vibe that day was off like our conversations weren't flowing like they do and it was just awkward and tense. Usually when we hang out its for the whole day and for me I wouldn't want it to end, and it would generally be a good time with a little flirting here and there which made me a little sad after our last hangout because it was so dull.
Now where I messed up is that later that night I texted him and told him that he was acting weird then I asked if he had feelings for me, he denied it and asked where I got that Idea from and I just said stuff I noticed and ever since then he's been ignoring me or being really cold towards me and I want to know how I can salvage our friendship because I really value him as a friend. and should I or should I not admit my feelings? I'm probably not going to see him until August but I don't want things to be awkward.
tl;dr I am in a lesbian relationship but have a crush on my male friend, which I told my gf about, I asked him if he liked me without mentioning my own feelings and now he is cold and distant.

I was between 26-27 used to go to the same store a lot and there was a really cute bubbly ginger girl. I'd say she was around 20-23 but I had no idea. I was living at home In bad spot so not in gd position to date but I always still wanted to meet someone. Anyways I would see her fairly often and I would feel awkward abit like if I looked her way or anything when she was busy she would be able to tell I found her attractive n didn't want get caught awkwardly staring . I avoided her abit in general but I would notice how she was bubbly n friendly. I started speaking a few time when I checked out. I wasn't really trying big move or anything per se because I questioned if I was too old or how bad my living situation was but at same time I was building myself up abit. Anyways I saw her at till one night and I said something and she misheard me , and was like giving me judgey look. 🤨 apparently she thought id asked for her number. I laughed nervously told her I didn't ask her that and made some joke . I left pretty fast as I always do after my brief interaction. After I left it occurred to me that she might have picked up on that I like her somehow , I think she genuinely thought/anticipating I was asking for her number. Next time I spoke to her I don't know exactly what I said but I got on topic of takeaways and she was like really emphusitically telling me she liked a specific takeaway I mentioned and it felt like there was an opportunity that she was aware of that I might invited her to have takeaway with me . If there wasn't ppl queing behind me I may have spontaneously said something because it probably did occur to me it was such a natural opening. But I left the store and was analyzing what just happened, "surely she was aware like I was that it felt like a natural opening to invite her for takeaway, the way so emphusatically told me she liked this takeaway I was mentioning" maybe not, it could be perfectly explained by her bring friendly . But for the first time it occured to me she might be open to me asking her out. Anyways , to cut this abruptly short I never saw her again , (just as abrupt as this text it was gone) she must have took some time off and not long after I moved areas. I went back when I was visiting family a few times hoping to see she still worked there but she was gone.
I still think about that. I remember how excited I felt leaving the store that she might like me . I think I would have certainly found the confidence to ask her out but in the end it wasn't meant to be. I probs would got that far a lot sooner if I was not do insecure about my living situation.
It's the not knowing that gets you, she was attractive in every way.

Guy keeps saying he wants me to mother his children
been talking to this guy on and off. off part was because of me because sometimes i don't respond or when he asks me on dates. At first i thought it was just cute flirting when he says the children thing and in a joking manner but i think he's serious. he always talks about settling down with someone and he works four jobs. he says he's doing it because he really wants to settle down with someone and build a family. i know he's not dating other people and doesn't talk to too many other people. also the things he says he talks about treating his girl right all the time and how important the girl is but just in casual ways when it comes up. he would respond to my instagram stories all the time complimenting me and casually adding our babies would be cute or the certain mix. then we were texting once and i guessed something right and he said it's the future motherly instinct. also i wanted a dog and he said he'll get it for me and he'll end up with q son. he also asks me on nicr expensive dates. i'm confused is this a fetish or kink or what it's constant but it's also odd because he never gets sexual at all

I am in a tough spot right now. I moved in to my boyfriend’s apt 3 months ago(I don’t pay rent). I graduated in December and I’m currently looking for a job right now so I can’t afford my own place.
History: I met my bf on a dating app and have been going out with him since June of last year. He said he’s never been in a relationship before and hasn’t been serious with anyone. It started as something casual but he wanted sexual exclusivity from the very beginning. It was great. We went along well and I enjoyed spending time with him. He asked me to be his gf in September and since then I stopped going on dates with other people. I understand that he might be seeing other people before this but nothing romantic or sexual. Since then, things have been going really well between us and I even started considering him to be the one (He said I’m the one for him and asked me if I would meet his parents sometime in the future). We do everything together, my friends like him and I’ve met most of his friends too. Although it did seem a bit soon, we’ve been on vacation(domestic and short) twice and it was great knowing how compatible we are. He is also the most supportive bf, he has been helping me look for a job and he assures me when I’m feeling burnt out with job hunting. His love language is acts of service and he will do anything if it makes me happy. I was in a very secure and happy relationship, or I thought so.
Fast forward to now: I had my doubts from a message he sent his best friend back in October(he showed it to me by mistake) and I decided to snoop around. It was the worst mistake ever. I don’t know how to feel cause it made me feel like everything is a lie. I didn’t go through his messages so I don’t know the details, but I know enough that he had a gf/situationship and he was still going out with her, at least till November. I also know she has blocked him. I brought it up with him (the text he sent his friend) and asked him why he was seeing other people and he straight up lied to my face. Maybe he was nervous and didn’t want to ruin what we have right now but I feel like he was gaslighting me during the whole conversation. He said he was seeing her till October but just for coffee and the whole conversation is just her berating him about his looks/job(private equity) and telling him how many guys she’s seeing at the moment who is better than him. I couldn’t tell him that I know for sure he went to dinner with her several times because of the way I found out. She also visited his apt till November but idk how frequent because we’ve been hanging out almost everyday at that point and I also had some of my stuff at his place. For context, he had told me before he went to Europe for work + vacation by himself last January (before I met him) but I found out that he actually went with her. Right now I want to focus on my job search and don’t want to deal with any of this(possibly leaving him and finding a new place to stay). Idk how to move forward. A part of me feels I should just forget I ever found out anything and continue focusing on my job search. I did consider leaving him but I can’t afford to do that rn because of my priorities. Is something like this forgivable? Also, is it worth bringing this topic up again? I know it’s been a while but it’s bothering me how he lied to me throughout our relationship. I just want him to admit to it.
TLDR: I(29F)recently found out that my bf(29M) has been constantly seeing his ex situationship during the first few months of our relationship. I don’t know to rebuild the trust in our relationship.

I and my ex-best friend, M, met not too long ago. We immediately clicked, and I just knew we would be the best of friends from the day I met him. I used to struggle with trusting men due to past trauma. When we exchanged socials, he would often flirt with me, and I’d flirt back. We both knew we were joking, but it was nice to have someone by my side that I could love platonically and trust. I opened up to him about my trauma, my exes, and my problem with self-harm. He’d always comfort me, and I’d be there for him too. He had a couple of shitty ex-girlfriends. One of them commented on his post, wanting him back, and we both played a joke on her, saying we were dating. I opened up to him about a lot of things, and he did too. We were there for each other, and it felt so nice. He would always send me cute stuff, and we’d do cute stuff together, like a couple. I’d always apologize after venting, and he’d say it was okay, but I really do believe it wasn’t; maybe I was too much for him to handle. Maybe that’s how I messed up. I really tried not to be too much for him, as I know no one likes that. I had a bad start today, and he asked if I was okay. I broke down and told him that I had relapsed and that I was such a mess. He told me I didn’t deserve more pain and that I was good enough. He cheered me up, and it was good. That was until a couple of hours ago, when I asked for a picture of his face. I just wanted to see him. I didn’t think I’d make him uncomfortable. He said he would send it, and then he blocked me. I texted him, saying that I was sorry, and he hasn’t even opened it. He blocked me on everything else. I told him I had trouble trusting men. Maybe he left because he was uncomfortable, or maybe because I was too much. I believe it’s both. Last time I checked his account, he still had my initials in his bio. I really thought I could trust him. I’m just so hurt. I cried nonstop and even had serious thoughts. I opened up my heart to him. Maybe I was just another fling. I hope he talks to me again.

one of my best friends has been going through some things. we had plans last Wednesday but she canceled and said she didnt feel well and asked if we could reschedule for next week (as in tomorrow). i said thats fine and i hope you feel better. sunday i texted her to check in and asked how shes doing. no reply. this morning (Tuesday) i asked if shes still down to hang out tomorrow. no reply. this afternoon i texted her and said i am worried about her and asked if shes okay, and reassured her its okay if you dont want to hang out or talk but if she could let me know shes okay. no reply. its been 7 hours since i sent the last message.
its not like her to ignore me. we usually talk every week. shes not one to ignore confrontation either (if she were mad at me for some reason although literally nothing happened). im starting to get really concerned shes in a coma or something really terrible happened to her.
so what should I do? she works right next door to me so I could go over there and ask if shes been there/okay, I could try and contact her gf via facebook, or I could try to visit her apartment (but it has a locked lobby so thats kind of pointless i think), or i could do nothing. i am worried sick though. what would you do? i appreciate any input.

Posting for my Fiance. I'm hoping this won't be too complicated to explain. Also sorry for the length. Location: Phoenix, AZ
About 3 years ago my fiance cosigned on a vehicle for a former gf (he's heard many times how dumb of a decision that was after the fact). Shortly there after they broke up and he had to file a restraining order on her.
She has been making payments ever since, until a few months ago when he started getting phone calls from the lenders about late payments. He wasn't given any more information about it from the lenders. He reached out to her through email to ask if everything was okay, and she emailed back telling him to fuck off and mind his own business.
Fast forward to yesterday, he received an email from her, from the day prior saying, "car died while driving it, it's all yours, go fuck yourself", it took an additional hour after to even get the cars location. She left it abandoned, unlocked, on the side of the road in one of the more shittier parts of Phoenix, but was surprisingly not gone through.
We were able to get the car towed to our house and upon inspecting it we found bags of garbage, drug paraphernalia and residue and her notary ledgers, and her clients information, and a mess load of personal mail and child support papers.
The car itself is also in horrible condition, multiple accidents, seats are ripped up, dash cracked, smoke damage, etc.... We asked her for the key, and she once again told us no and to go fuck ourselves and it's our problem now.
My question is, what do we do from here? We called the lender and found out she's 3 months past due payment wise, there's still 22k left on the loan and there's no way in hell the car will sell to cover that.
Can we get her off the loan if we take responsibility for payments, or make it so she can't come back for it? We have email proof of her abandoning it.
Can we sue her for the amount owed on the loan or past due?
Is this something we should get the police involved in?
I'm sorry for the wall of text, we are just really unsure of what the next steps should be.
Thank you .

OKay. I'm gonna get hate for this BUT CAN WORLD SEND ME A CUTE NERD I WANT ATTENTION AND NEED SOME MORE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE!!!
LIKE FUCK I"M EASY. I am so easy to please. literally all you gotta do is text me everyday and hang out with me .IT CAN EVEN BE ON DISCORD. Like bruh. got a game you're playing? great.let me sit on discord voice chat (video preferred) and watch you basically stream it to specifically me. got some code you need to work on? GREAT I"M A GREAT RUBBER DUCK and I have experience in coding so you can send the code and we can see who gets it fixed faster. NEED TO TOUCH GRASSS? GREAT let's go to the farmer's market on Saturday and get some kettle corn. I AM EASY TO PLEASE. I dont' need your money, I don't need gifts. I dont 'need fancy dinners. FUCK TAKE ME TO MC DONALDS!!! I love myself some chicken nuggets from there. and we can share a big thing of fries. Literally just include me in your day and I'll be perfectly happy. Give me a phone call after that one big game you were playing with your friends. or even let me just sit and cheer you all on. text me about the most random shit. I"M SO FUCKING EASY. I'm so easy. we can even do long distance! as long as we texting all day every day I'm fucking satisfied.
I'm at a point in my dating career where I wanna be like "maybe I should just look for open relationships" or at lest offer cause clearly I'm not enough by myself. So like. yeah. I'm only high maintenance cause I need a lot of attention. But like if my boyfriend is an introvert... I'll get it If he needs to take a few hours to recharge. I have a best friend who I recently hung out with and we went to the mall and I completely forgot that they get such and anxiety and oversimualtion from malls. I thought iw as going to be staying til the evening but once I remembered that I was like "aw hell no I aint' staying longer. they need some decompressing and just dropped them off, got my stuff and left. no questions ask. NO retaliation. so yeah.
Idk. I also say specifically a nerd cause apparently I'm into nerds (it took me a long time to accept that but they all do look the same or have teh same aspects). I'm so easy to please. maybe not in bed, But I'm easy to please emotionally.
something I loved bout discord boy was that he would constantly text me and we voice chatted a TON. and like that was satisfying enough. cause it was HIM. I liked him. I wanted him. He was CUTE. Bro needed a camera though cause I missed out on looking at his face. (we only talked on discord and hung out once). When I dug up an old screen shot of his bumble profile, I literally paused, looking at him and got sad cause I remembered then and there how cute I thought he was. Like fuck. FUCK. I swear if that girl he's talking to now isn't giving him what I was missing, then I"M GONNA BE PISSED. cause even though he left me for her, I still want him to be happy. I still miss our voice chats. I still miss the plans we made. We were gonna watch movies together and would talk about how we would do it. and I was so excited. cause it mean I got to spend time with him in person. and I really wanted to spend time in person. so that bitch better be giving him that time in person like she wasn't before he met me. SHE BETTER BE. also better be listening to him talk about the games he's playing. tease him about wanting to marry Andrea instead of the other chick from his game in space. LIKE BE GIVING THAT BOY SOME SHIT. she also better see that hot wheels car collection. cause like I never got to see it.i only heard about it. He had like 200 hot wheels. damn. ALSO BETTER BE GETTING THAT BOY OUTTA THE HOUSE. I got him to ONE farmers market and Kroger. He needs to touch grass.... my dear, he wanted to go out with you so badly. SO GO OUT WITH HIM HE NEEDS TO TOUCH GRASSS!!! even if it's front lawn grass. But like take him to target.take him to Walmart. Also make sure he's not stressed about living with his dad or needing to help his dad a lot. AND OMG tell him he's cute. CAUSE HE IS!!! HE IS. AND GOD DAMNIT USE THE FUCKING SEXY TIME PLAYLIST HE HAS. PLEASE. HE NEEDS TO USE THAT ONE DAY. OMG. AND GOD DAMNIT follow him on Spotify. he has no followers what so ever. And listen to his 200 song playlist all the way through, he'll listen to each and every song with you. DO THAT SHIT. DO IT. I couldn't do it all cause he didn't actually want me but now that he has someone he wants, DO IT. PLEASE.
augh I just realized I might not over be discord boy lol. He was the nerdiest guy I talked to. I wish I had been able to take him out on a date. like a real one. lol. whatever. Sucks to suck.
I'm also fucking annoyed that the guys I'm into I never stand a chance with. praying to god he doesn't find this but there's this a YouTuber I follow and I only really follow with him and his community cause I think he's cute and sweet. but like.... lets hope he doesn't see this cause he's gonna be weirded out if he finds out.
augh. nerds are so underrated when it comes to dating. I think I'm lucky that I'm attracted to them. But also unlucky cause I'm not good looking enough or something. idk. AUGHHHHHHHH Fuck my life. I need to go take my meds.i'm signing off.

We’ve been together 3 years…officially maybe one year. We broke up a few months ago for a month and then got back together and recently trying to make things better. I ended up getting pregnant. When I told him I made him a cute box announcement and he was sooo happy saying how he was praying to God for this. Despite both us wanting a baby, literally talking about it all the time, he has changed his mind now that it’s happened and wants an abortion. I’m just shocked and hurt because he’d always make comments like I can’t believe you not pregnant yet or if you were pregnant you’d definitely be living with me etc. we were just talking about baby names a couple weeks ago. I honestly didn’t think he’d want an abortion…I thought he’d be like let’s do this together and move in (next step pregnant or not) but no. He says he wants to be with me and loves me but still unsure because of how we broke up recently. He wants to live together first and get engaged before bringing a baby in and doesn’t want baby to be in a broken home again. He also mentioned he feels trapped now and obligated and doesn’t want to just be with me cause I’m preggo. I’m like huh?? So hurt. I understand and want all that too but I got pregnant…it’s never gonna be the right time. And I wouldn’t go so far as to think to have an abortion. I’m so turned off by his reaction. And I see him as a coward now and feel like I’ve lost respect for him. I too can see the practicality of having a baby right now, and didn’t even think of an abortion. I love this man and see him in my future so that’s why I was so willing to have it. I was not trying to “trap him”. It’s been 3 years. But now I’m so doubtful…and hurt that he’s that unsure about me, feels “obligated”, and doesn’t seem like he sees a future with me like I thought? Or no faith and hope for us? On top of that so heartless about the abortion, he was like I’ll pay for everything and right away gave me his card no hesitation. He’s being so distant too not even asking how I am and barely texting me. I’m sticking to the logical thing and going to go ahead with the abortion because what I thought was stable and safe is not actually so I’m taken aback. I don’t want to have that drama in my life.
I just want to get it over with and try to move on. I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t sure about me…after 3 years. We’re not that young too. I’m attractive, I have a good career as a nurse, and a lot to offer in a relationship and I just don’t think he values me. If he wanted to he would right?!
Anyway, I’m heartbroken and the pregnancy hormones don’t help. How do I move on? How do I find the strength? To love myself more.