Yacht brite brite wash

https://preview.redd.it/v9slqngj093d1.png?width=1293&format=png&auto=webp&s=4c83b21d822264a541aa8f26d8feac9ccf77393f
A solo journaling ttrpg with an emphasis on sketching and doodling as your chronicle your time in a Stepford Suburbia-type town with elements of Cosmic Horror.
You can play the full game here for free: https://brite-palette.itch.io/haven

British farms can grow cheap food — but at what cost?
By Jeremy Clarkson (The Sunday Times, May 26)
Quite rightly there’s been a lot of brouhaha and gnashing of teeth about the Welsh government’s weed-friendly farming policy. But the problem isn’t confined to Wales. Almost every government in the civilised world seems determined to ethnically cleanse farmers from the countryside. And it’s hard to see why.
Oh sure, they all say that farming makes a lot of carbon dioxides and that they have net zero targets to meet, but obviously that’s not the reason. Because what’s the point of keeping the global temperature down if there’s nothing to eat?
So if climate change isn’t the driver, why, all across Europe and America and Australia, is life being made so wilfully and unnecessarily hard for the people who feed us? And why in England did the number of farms fall from 132,400 in 2005 to just 104,000 in 2015? Well, bear with me on this one, but it’s necessary at this point to talk about my recent weekend city break in Copenhagen.
I’ve always said that if I were forced for some reason to leave the UK and I needed to live and work somewhere else, I’d go to Copenhagen. You eat dinner at a sensible time, not four in the morning, you’re never distracted by the beach, and you can have conversations with a van driver about how the krone is controlled by the European Central Bank. I know because I did. Here I spend most of my van-based conversations trying to explain what “fragile” means.
Everywhere you go in Copenhagen there are attractive people having lunch in attractive restaurants before going back to the office to design some more attractive chairs. They put their solar farms between the motorway and the railway line, and all around the canals and docks there are no unsightly railings. If you fall in, you just get out again. And if you can’t swim, well, that’s your own silly fault.
And then there’s the business of getting about, which is done on a bicycle. Unlike here, though, no one wears a helmet or that idiotic Stasi stormtrooper combination of black tights and black shorts. Cycling is not some BLT+, pro-Hamas, kick-out-the-Tories political movement. It’s just something you do to get about, because even the crappiest little car is about a million pounds. And there are no hills.
I love pootling about on a bicycle there, stopping for a cup of coffee and a pastry, or to look in a little shop that sells nothing but lampshades made from thinly sliced ash. If Carlsberg did cities, they’d look like this.
But even here, amid all the loveliness, we find the awful Lawrence Stroll plague of Tommy Hilfiger, Prada, Chanel, Bulgari, Gucci and all those other multinational emporiums for the terminally dreadful, which now dominate every city centre, high-end Caribbean resort and airport terminal in the world. Terry Wogan once said he’d like to machinegun everyone on Henman Hill. I feel the same way when I’m presented with a branch of Boss.
I’m told that these fashion, luggage and sunglasses shops are everywhere because they are the only ones that can afford city centre rents and I’m sure that’s true. So that’s good for the city, the landlords and stupid people in white trousers who think it’s OK to spend £850 on a pair of shoes because it says Prada on the instep.
It’s not what we want, of course. We want interesting shops full of interesting things and interesting people, and we think it’s silly to spend £850 on a pair of shoes. But lots of little shops all selling different things? That’s too difficult to organise. It’s much easier to call some twat on a yacht and ask him to send over a light dusting of Hilfiger and a spot of Saint Laurent.
Which brings me back to farming. I’m sitting here now on top of a hill in the Cotswolds and I can see four other farms, all run by farmers who do things their own way. There’s a chap not too far away who produces eggs in mobile hen houses. There’s a lady who’s passionate about organic produce. Then there’s my neighbour who seems to be persevering with oil-seed rape, and down in the valley there’s a brother and sister rearing pigs. It’s all small and higgledy-piggledy and charming. And it’s comforting to know that 90 per cent of Britain’s remaining farms are family owned. But if you stand back and look at the land as a business, you’d have to say, “Er, hang on a minute. This makes no sense at all.”
So I find myself wondering. Is this really what’s going on behind the scenes? Has the agricultural equivalent of Lawrence Stroll had a quiet word with the government: “Look, if you can get these pesky family farmers to sod off, I’ll buy the countryside, put in a bit of rewilding to keep the nutters happy and then use economies of scale to make all the food we need at a nice price.”
Think about it. My tractor is currently sitting in the yard because there’s nothing for it to do. But if I owned all the land from the south coast to the Wash it’d be working 24/7. Tomorrow I could send it to Hertfordshire to uproot hedges and pull down copses to make bigger, more economically viable fields, and the day after it would be in Dorset sprinkling some nitrogen on the barley.
It would all be a model of just-in-time efficiency and hydroponic tomatoes, and soon all of Europe’s farmland would be in the hands of four or five multinationals who could use freebies and dodgy handshakes to get government ministers to pass whatever legislation the shareholders wanted.
Under the present system farmers can’t really get governments to do anything as there are too many of us and we all have different needs. It’d be like asking a classroom of kids what they want for Christmas and expecting them all to say the same thing. There’s always going to be one that wants peace and love and another who wants a subscription to Pornhub. And a Ferrari.
If the multinationals move in that would all be solved. Plus, it would be good for the global economy, good for investors and food prices will probably fall. And to make it all even more palatable fields will be full of signs saying “Monsanto Inc. Growing sustainably for hard-working families in the community”. I think for certain the world’s governments have this utopian vision in their heads. Which is why their policies are so skewed against farmers and the present system. They’d much rather have five guys who speak their language and have pit passes at the Monaco Grand Prix every year than five thousand who come into town once a blue moon to spray government buildings with their disgusting manure.
You may think they have a point. You may like the idea of cheaper food, but do you want to wave goodbye to the hedgerows and the copses? And do you want the British countryside to be owned and run by a private equity outfit in Chicago? Or let me put it to you another way: do you want a hydroponic Tommy Hilfiger tomato? Because I don’t.
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Forget Eton, Keir will be too busy with racist chairs
With the loudest voices in Labour yelling about slavery, microbes and gender, Sir Starmer won’t have the chance to be radical
By Jeremy Clarkson (The Sunday Times, May 26)
The Conservative Party’s biggest problem is that it’s no longer the Conservative Party. And that’s because it’s been listening and taking inspiration from people who are talking, not those who aren’t. And I have some evidence to suggest that this doesn’t really work.
Many years ago, when Top Gear was a swashbuckling festival of tyre smoke and innuendo that came into your living room every Sunday evening like a drunken uncle, I just sort of did what felt right every week. But then I started consulting a small but very keen fan site in America to see what they were saying. And what they were mostly saying is that they wanted more cars and less cocking about.
This meant, when it was time to start preparing the following week’s show, their views would be front and centre in my head. My gut would tell me to do one thing, but these faceless uberfans would be telling me to do something else. And I found myself more and more doing that.
It was ridiculous. We were making a show for a weekly audience of 350 million people, but I was shaping it to keep maybe 25 American car nuts happy. I dreaded their displeasure on a Sunday night, and I’d do anything to avoid it. And that brings me back to the Conservative Party.
I can’t remember how many MPs they’ve got left now and there’s no point looking it up because by the time you read this, another one will have crossed the floor or been tied up by “bad people” or divulged secret information to keep blackmailers happy or said something Islamophobic or taken drugs or invited someone to “go back to Bahrain”. The list is endless, but whatever the number is, I’m willing to bet that every single one of them signed up because they wanted to be a tub-thumping Thatcherite iron person.
But you can’t be Mrs Thatcher now because then you’d be labelled “far right”. And that’s the same as being Hitler. Better, if you want a quiet life, to be a mouse. A Liberal Democrat. A cyclist. With one eye on hard-working families in the community and the other on River to the Sea sustainable diversity. So that’s what the Conservative MPs did. They listened to the people who were speaking and never thought to think about the views of those who weren’t. And now they are screwed. Bud Lite busted. Done. Rishi’s kids are probably already down for schools in America.
This means that in a few weeks, we will have a Labour government and many of my Tory friends find this a bit scary. They worry about the future of private education and things like a wealth tax and how well we’ll fare on the world stage when most of the people in government actively hate Britain.
I’m not worried though, because while Sir Starmer has made all sorts of left-wing noises over the years, he’s not going to be able to do anything profound because he’s going to be surrounded by the people who’ve been doing all the talking these last few years. And what they’re going to be talking to him about, most of all, is penises.
Penises will be our saviour. He may be sitting there thinking about how he can alter capital gains tax or abolish Eton, but it’s going to be hard to put any of his plans into action — because every five minutes, someone’s going to run in and say they’ve seen a willy in the ladies’. And he’s going to have to break off to deal with that.
And while he’s in the ladies’, asking Big John if he wouldn’t mind maybe using the gents’ in future, someone else is going to call him and say that there’s been some misgendering in the gatehouse which means he’ll have to miss his five o’clock about sustainable development in the birthing people space.
The next day, he’s going to really want to get a grip on the non-dom issue, but at 7am he’ll get an email from someone who’s “reaching out” to say that the antique chairs used in the Cabinet Office were probably made by slaves and that to display solidarity with Palestine, the chairs should come from Gaza. This will have to be discussed in a meeting where it’ll turn out that all the chairs in Gaza are broken, which will cause the whole room to descend into a frenzied and frothing attack on Israel. The non-doms, as a result, will be able to breathe easy.
And then it’ll be lunch and Sir Keir, being a vegetablist, will order a salad. But just as he’s about to savour that first mouthful, someone with sustainable armpit hair — but possibly no penis — will lean over and ask if he understands how many beetles and microbes had to be killed before that salad could be grown. So then there will be a debate about what food can be eaten by hard-working members of the cabinet’s vegetarian community and it’ll be decided that it’d be best if, in future, everyone got their sustenance from licking the pot plants.
Foreign leaders will be calling him but he’ll be prevented from taking the calls because one of the components in his phone was made in Tel Aviv; nor will he be able to talk to the Treasury about a mansion tax because this would involve maths, and maths — as we’ve learnt — is racist.
Meanwhile, outside the corridors of power, the doctors will continue to go to work, the nurses will still get paid, the garden centres will continue to be open, the supermarkets will continue to sell food and car showrooms will still be able to provide you with a new set of wheels. It’ll all be normal.
Because the penis people who’ve been talking and talking and talking these last few years will still be talking and talking and talking. Only now they won’t be outside the building. They’ll be inside — which means, mercifully, we won’t be able to hear them as they busy themselves with the endless task of achieving absolutely nothing at all.
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And here's an excerpt from the Sun column:
Three years ago, when my farm was being battered over the head by planners at West Oxfordshire District Council, I became so desperate that I went to London to see the minister in charge of this sort of thing: Michael Gove.
I explained the problem. Farmers were being told by central government to diversify if they wanted to stay in business. But if they tried, they were stopped by the planners in local government.
Gove pulled all the right faces and made all the right noises and I left knowing full well nothing would come of it.
But blow me down with a feather, it did. And this week farmers were told they could turn their disused barns into gyms or workshops or even houses without the need for planning permission.
That’s great news for everyone in the business. Except me. Because to help win the battle to keep my farm shop, I gave up the rights to convert my barn.
I think that’s called taking one for the team.
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Clarkson's columns are regularly collected as books. You can buy them from his boss or your local bookshop.
P.S. Apologies for the delay in posting this week's columns. I was traveling on Monday (Memorial Day, a holiday in the US).

Hey there :) I'm a 21-year-old college student/musician going to school/spending most of my time in the Southern part of the USA. I've always had trouble dating and socializing, but I'm a hopeless romantic and refuse to let the world make me bitter 🤣!! Dating apps have been HELL, so I'm really *taking a chance here! [Looking for anyone 21+, please!] *
A little about me: I'm going into my senior year of college studying music! I'm in a band and love, love, love playing and writing music. Some of my favorite bands are Smashing Pumpkins, The Cure, Veruca Salt, Placebo, Cocteau Twins, and many others! I love vampires (specifically those of Poppy Z. Brite and Anne Rice) cats, astrology, tarot, movies, mortuary science, crocheting, exploring nature, thrifting/antiquing, coffee, clowning, and trying new foods! Although I'm introverted, I'm sometimes kind of adventurous and sensory seeking :) Something that I think has kind of barred me from having a lot of luck with dating is the fact that I'm an introverted autistic person. I want human connection, especially love, but it's pretty tough for people like me :( I'm pretty introspective and want to have long, weird, deep conversations with others whose hearts and heads work the same way mine does, but it proves difficult in the romantic sense. If it matters, physically, I'm ~5'4 + plus size/curvy! I'm pretty fair-skinned with curly black hair and brown eyes, and a few piercings on my face & ears. I'm usually in 'goth-lite' attire now that I'm in university and don't always have time for all the beautiful gothy glamour much anymore, lol. I love to dress up for shows or special occasions though, and have recently been getting into clown makeup!
I'm usually really attracted to the gentler, more creative, and at times odd types with dudes :) Musicians, writers, filmmakers, artists, and the like. BUT- totally open to other kinds of people, for sure! I'm a stereotypical goth girl in the way that I usually end up fawning over the lanky, long-haired brooding boys. So... if you've got long hair and sad blue eyes and look like you've just risen from the grave, you're already one step ahead of the rest. 🤣🖤 But at the end of the day, beauty comes in all forms!! I prefer someone older than me, also! (21-27 is the sweet spot, but I won't say no to any eligible vampires lololol)
I've had a lot of experience with online flings and situationships, and wouldn't necessarily mind an LDR, but I'm really attached to the city that I live in and would like to stay put on my end. Hopefully, you'll like where I live, also. It's a special place <3
I'd love to talk and hopefully have a fantastic friends-to-lovers arc, and hopefully, one day adopt many cats and watch horror movies for all of eternity :) I'm a little nervous about putting myself out there again, but nothing will happen if I don't try! Feel free to message me :)

Paul Black is a renowned blues performer celebrated for his soulful guitar playing and powerful vocals, which evoke the raw emotion and depth of the blues genre. With numerous albums and electrifying live performances, he has captivated audiences worldwide and established himself as a leading figure in contemporary blues music.
DATE Tuesday, May 28, 2024 8:30 PM
TICKETS EventBrite.ca/PaulBlack $9.49
LOCATION The Roxy Cabaret 932 Granville St, Vancouver, BC

We're selling my Dad's home, which is about 50 years old. Many years ago, the doors in one of the bedrooms got broken and busted. The closet doors have holes in them. The door to the bedroom jamb is split, and the door has holes in it.
We spoke with a realtor, and the one we're using said to replace the bedroom and closet doors but leave them unfinished because a prospective buyer may want to paint them whatever color, etc.
The doors in the rest of the house are dark, and the molding is stained by two different people. So, you can also tell the darkness from room to room on the stain. Plus, they did a crappy job of staining because all of the doors are rough to the touch, so they were never sanded, and a clear coat was never put on them.
Anyhow, I'm at the point where I'm replacing the bedroom doors, but the problem is I can't find a door that is as crappy as the existing doors to match.
Busted closet doors look like this
The doors in the rest of the house look like this.
Replacement door Option 1
Replacement door Option 2
So my dilemma is, I very much prefer the white door, and I think it looks really nice, but it for sure doesn't match the rest of the house. I could replace the rest of the house with that door which I think would look nicer. It would cost me about $1,500 to do so.
My dilemma is that it is much easier for me to replace all the doors now because there is no carpet to work around. Plus, if I take the molding off, it's easier to paint, so there is no trimming.
So do I just replace the one door with the non-finished one or replace it with a white one, or should I do the rest of the doors in the house?
I personally wouldn't buy the house with unmatched doors, but I wouldn't buy the house anyway with that dark stain on the doors. So I'm having a hard time disconnecting my hatred to the dark stain to begin with.
So what do you all think I should do?

I'm trying to step up my housekeeping routine, and I'm uncertain about what to keep on hand. How many different cleaning implements do you use? Which one is best for each task? Obviously I wouldn't use my bathroom sponge to clean the kitchen, but are there any less-obvious tips you have? Do you wipe your counter with the same cloth you use for dishes, or your stove? Do you use a sponge with or without the green Scotch Brite pad? How often do you change them out?
On a related note, how many cleaning sprays and soaps do you use? Do any of them leave a residue, or are any suitable to clean a surface for preparing food?
Feel free to offer any additional advice that I didn't think to ask about.

Please I need to know. I know their outdated cuz they don’t have the loge pack one or the one in the bp

What are you guys using to port your show calendars from one place to multiple sites?
I’ve heard some people use Google calendar, but not sure that ports to everywhere or the ability to add photos.
Some sites we post shows are BandsInTown, SongKick, EventBrite, and our personal webpage.
Would love to hear how everyone approaches this and other tips on calendar management.