Whole body always sore no reason
I want to be sugar free!
2012.08.01 23:15 I want to be sugar free!
This is your place to share your stories about sugar and how it's affected your life, post links to scientific research on sugar addiction, tips for how to get sugar free, and support others who are trying to beat "the other white stuff"! We are focused on avoiding sucrose specifically (and by extension, fructose), NOT all starchy carbs (glucose).
2011.01.08 06:16 People Person's Paper People
Why watch many show when one show do trick?
2018.07.14 08:24 PM_ME_UR_BROWNIES TrueUnpopularOpinion
This community aims to be a space for civil discussion of unpopular opinions, free of some of the censorship found on many other subreddits. However, our rules and Reddit's sitewide rules still applies.
2024.05.15 07:43 OverGap3758 My 35M GF 33F suddenly disappeared, not sure if she is just avoiding me or in trouble and don't want to overreact?
Throwaway account.
I would like to ask for help in possible scenarios and what other people think is more likely.
So I (35M) have been/was with my girlfriend (33F) for over a decade. Maybe once every year or two she would out of the blue say she was breaking up (sometimes wouldn't say anything and just take everything and disappear) and would disappear. The last time she said it was last year but she didn't disappear but became really distant. So it has been improving, and just this weekend everything seemed fine until Monday when she suddenly disappeared for a few hours late at night saying she was busy which is very unusual as she usually sleeps quite early, she responded to my texts briefly and seemed genuinely busy with work. Then on Tuesday she said she wanted to break up but wanted to remain friends (I asked if she had found someone else and she was genuinely surprised or acted so, this is important), so I was obviously devastated but after some short talks it seemed like she might have room to stay in the relationship or at least consider not breaking up for sure, though it seemed likely she would.
That isn't the important part, she was supposed to go on a training trip today for over a week so she was busy packing her luggage yesterday. On Monday I asked what time her flight was so I could make sure I was free to drive her to the airport and she said that I didn't need to (which was where I got really suspicious that something was up as I basically almost always drive her to the airport or any far away place/when she is transporting lots of stuff). Then yesterday when we were talking I said I'd like to eat with her before her departure and then drive her to the airport and she went oh that's good we can eat near my business (which she just opened several months ago) so I can check up on my business before I go. So we had arranged the time today that I would pick her up to go eat then check on her business before going to the airport.
Then this morning when my alarm woke me up and I checked my phone I saw a text message from her that was a few hours ago saying that she had to arrive earlier and that she just arrived at the airport. My first thought was that she just wanted to avoid me so I was sad but understood why she did it, however I then checked the rest of my notifications and saw that the plane ticket and hotel was cancelled so now I'm seriously concerned as she had been planning this training trip for a long time. Also when I dropped off some stuff for our dogs at her place I saw that the huge luggage she packed yesterday was still at home.
So now I'm concerned about if she is actually safe, and would like to ask anyone for their view/perspective to see if there may be something I'm missing or didn't think of.
The reason why I am concerned about her safety (whether safe from herself or others) is because she has been acting really weird the past few days which understandably so if she was just going to break up with me. However she had cancelled all of her appointments yesterday and this morning because she said she had a bad stomach ache (probably stress) which is very unusual for her as she is usually very hard working, the last time something similar to this happened was a few months ago when she had a mental breakdown and was about to blow up her business, clients and industry acquaintances. She also contemplated about taking her own you know (I think I can't say the word on reddit? or was that somewhere else). I eventually got her to calm down and I hope she moved on and she did seem to recover. But I'm not sure if that was all an act (should be because she generally can't act for an extended period of time as I would generally pick up on things when the inconsistencies became too frequent).
Second of all she had basically deleted all of her social media a few days ago too and when I asked her she said there were too many weirdoes approaching her and adding her and talking to her. When I asked her how could random people add you on one particular social media platform as you need to confirm their request before they can even talk to you she said I dunno I accidentally accepted them (this is why I thought she was with someone else at first along with some other stuff when she said she wanted to break up but when I listed out all the reasons she genuinely sounded surprised) it sounded really weird but after asking a few times I didn't ask more because after the first few questions she will shut down generally.
A few days ago she also removed all snacks and beverages from her business as she was afraid of getting sued which I thought was weird but understood the risks if someone got food poisoning from something you provided however unlikely as those were prepackaged items. The thing that concerned me was that she said someone told her that it's not safe but she wouldn't tell me who which was weird as she would usually say the name even though I would have no idea who it was. (Another reason why I thought she may be with someone else)
She also has some documents of mine that she was supposed to hand over when she arrived at her destination which is quite time sensitive (which she collected late last night and asked for them which I found weird as I was going to give it to her today) so she would not purposefully sabotage work related stuff.
So I'm concerned that something happened to her, whether it is another breakdown, blackmail or something. If she didn't have this trip that she planned extensively for a while which she suddenly abandoned along with the scrubbing of a lot of business related stuff (her personal social media that is private is still up just all public social media has been scrubbed) and her past breakdown I would just think that she is avoiding me or is with someone else, which is still a possibility and is actually the one I hope is the case. I'm afraid that it's something else and she is either in danger to herself or from someone else (could just be me panicking cause this situation is so weird). I'm on here to ask if anyone else has any ideas that I may have missed because I'm contemplating about going to the police (not much they can do if she just disappeared on her own with no outside interreference) but fear that I may be taking too drastic an action if in fact she is just avoiding me/with someone else and is totally safe.
TLDR: GF of over a decade broke up with me and disappeared. However circumstances makes me question if she is just avoiding me or is she in trouble.
submitted by OverGap3758 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I would like to ask for help in possible scenarios and what other people think is more likely.
So I (35M) have been/was with my girlfriend (33F) for over a decade. Maybe once every year or two she would out of the blue say she was breaking up (sometimes wouldn't say anything and just take everything and disappear) and would disappear. The last time she said it was last year but she didn't disappear but became really distant. So it has been improving, and just this weekend everything seemed fine until Monday when she suddenly disappeared for a few hours late at night saying she was busy which is very unusual as she usually sleeps quite early, she responded to my texts briefly and seemed genuinely busy with work. Then on Tuesday she said she wanted to break up but wanted to remain friends (I asked if she had found someone else and she was genuinely surprised or acted so, this is important), so I was obviously devastated but after some short talks it seemed like she might have room to stay in the relationship or at least consider not breaking up for sure, though it seemed likely she would.
That isn't the important part, she was supposed to go on a training trip today for over a week so she was busy packing her luggage yesterday. On Monday I asked what time her flight was so I could make sure I was free to drive her to the airport and she said that I didn't need to (which was where I got really suspicious that something was up as I basically almost always drive her to the airport or any far away place/when she is transporting lots of stuff). Then yesterday when we were talking I said I'd like to eat with her before her departure and then drive her to the airport and she went oh that's good we can eat near my business (which she just opened several months ago) so I can check up on my business before I go. So we had arranged the time today that I would pick her up to go eat then check on her business before going to the airport.
Then this morning when my alarm woke me up and I checked my phone I saw a text message from her that was a few hours ago saying that she had to arrive earlier and that she just arrived at the airport. My first thought was that she just wanted to avoid me so I was sad but understood why she did it, however I then checked the rest of my notifications and saw that the plane ticket and hotel was cancelled so now I'm seriously concerned as she had been planning this training trip for a long time. Also when I dropped off some stuff for our dogs at her place I saw that the huge luggage she packed yesterday was still at home.
So now I'm concerned about if she is actually safe, and would like to ask anyone for their view/perspective to see if there may be something I'm missing or didn't think of.
The reason why I am concerned about her safety (whether safe from herself or others) is because she has been acting really weird the past few days which understandably so if she was just going to break up with me. However she had cancelled all of her appointments yesterday and this morning because she said she had a bad stomach ache (probably stress) which is very unusual for her as she is usually very hard working, the last time something similar to this happened was a few months ago when she had a mental breakdown and was about to blow up her business, clients and industry acquaintances. She also contemplated about taking her own you know (I think I can't say the word on reddit? or was that somewhere else). I eventually got her to calm down and I hope she moved on and she did seem to recover. But I'm not sure if that was all an act (should be because she generally can't act for an extended period of time as I would generally pick up on things when the inconsistencies became too frequent).
Second of all she had basically deleted all of her social media a few days ago too and when I asked her she said there were too many weirdoes approaching her and adding her and talking to her. When I asked her how could random people add you on one particular social media platform as you need to confirm their request before they can even talk to you she said I dunno I accidentally accepted them (this is why I thought she was with someone else at first along with some other stuff when she said she wanted to break up but when I listed out all the reasons she genuinely sounded surprised) it sounded really weird but after asking a few times I didn't ask more because after the first few questions she will shut down generally.
A few days ago she also removed all snacks and beverages from her business as she was afraid of getting sued which I thought was weird but understood the risks if someone got food poisoning from something you provided however unlikely as those were prepackaged items. The thing that concerned me was that she said someone told her that it's not safe but she wouldn't tell me who which was weird as she would usually say the name even though I would have no idea who it was. (Another reason why I thought she may be with someone else)
She also has some documents of mine that she was supposed to hand over when she arrived at her destination which is quite time sensitive (which she collected late last night and asked for them which I found weird as I was going to give it to her today) so she would not purposefully sabotage work related stuff.
So I'm concerned that something happened to her, whether it is another breakdown, blackmail or something. If she didn't have this trip that she planned extensively for a while which she suddenly abandoned along with the scrubbing of a lot of business related stuff (her personal social media that is private is still up just all public social media has been scrubbed) and her past breakdown I would just think that she is avoiding me or is with someone else, which is still a possibility and is actually the one I hope is the case. I'm afraid that it's something else and she is either in danger to herself or from someone else (could just be me panicking cause this situation is so weird). I'm on here to ask if anyone else has any ideas that I may have missed because I'm contemplating about going to the police (not much they can do if she just disappeared on her own with no outside interreference) but fear that I may be taking too drastic an action if in fact she is just avoiding me/with someone else and is totally safe.
TLDR: GF of over a decade broke up with me and disappeared. However circumstances makes me question if she is just avoiding me or is she in trouble.
2024.05.15 07:42 underzealouss (UPDATE) My boyfriend has ROCD and…
He broke up with me less than a month after I made that post… found out that he was talking to his friends and family about me, basically I am not good enough for him and my only redeeming quality is that I am pretty, he kept comparing me to his ex best friend and saying that he needs to find someone like her that’s attractive like me…
Right after I made that post he started avoiding me, refusing to sleep in the same bed as me so I was sleeping on the floor and couch, if I refused to not sleep elsewhere he would go sleep in his sons room in his bed.
Because of all of this I started trying to make arrangements to move out but then all of a sudden that wasn’t what he wanted? He practically begged me to not leave. He was still avoiding me though.
Around March he started to “warm up” to me again. He wouldn’t really talk to me about anything though, still single.
It’s now May, I am still single and he still is telling me “no” when I try to open up conversation to “officially” end things (we are basically a situationship, good enough to fuck but not good enough to be with romantically)
This whole thing has brought me so much emotional turmoil, I’ve tried to be understanding but I have a lot of resentment and I don’t think there’s any fixing that can be done.
Ya’ll, I’m so sad. Things were so perfect until they weren’t. I don’t think my self esteem has ever been brought this low by the hands of someone else. He hates everything about me and I got to read it all, he compares me to every non-family female in his life and guess what, they’re all better than me. But he won’t let go of me? Part of the reason I am still living with him and haven’t pulled the plug is because of how he is going to react. I can barely handle my emotions as of right now, I don’t know if I’d be able to follow through when he has a meltdown over it (I know he will, he’s done it before) I’ve honestly have thought about just leaving while he is at work, changing my number, and blocking him everywhere else so I can move on.
I have tried to get into therapy, places want a referral but then when I get one they aren’t offering what I’m needing (which is crazy to me, I was just seeking out basic talk therapy nothing specialized), if they don’t require a referral they aren’t returning my calls. Things are really bad right now.
I know this sub is for people with ROCD but I have no one to talk or vent to. Don’t feel obligated to respond either, it is welcomed if you choose to. I just need to get things out I guess, for some reason it feels better than just writing in my notes app.
submitted by underzealouss to ROCD [link] [comments]
Right after I made that post he started avoiding me, refusing to sleep in the same bed as me so I was sleeping on the floor and couch, if I refused to not sleep elsewhere he would go sleep in his sons room in his bed.
Because of all of this I started trying to make arrangements to move out but then all of a sudden that wasn’t what he wanted? He practically begged me to not leave. He was still avoiding me though.
Around March he started to “warm up” to me again. He wouldn’t really talk to me about anything though, still single.
It’s now May, I am still single and he still is telling me “no” when I try to open up conversation to “officially” end things (we are basically a situationship, good enough to fuck but not good enough to be with romantically)
This whole thing has brought me so much emotional turmoil, I’ve tried to be understanding but I have a lot of resentment and I don’t think there’s any fixing that can be done.
Ya’ll, I’m so sad. Things were so perfect until they weren’t. I don’t think my self esteem has ever been brought this low by the hands of someone else. He hates everything about me and I got to read it all, he compares me to every non-family female in his life and guess what, they’re all better than me. But he won’t let go of me? Part of the reason I am still living with him and haven’t pulled the plug is because of how he is going to react. I can barely handle my emotions as of right now, I don’t know if I’d be able to follow through when he has a meltdown over it (I know he will, he’s done it before) I’ve honestly have thought about just leaving while he is at work, changing my number, and blocking him everywhere else so I can move on.
I have tried to get into therapy, places want a referral but then when I get one they aren’t offering what I’m needing (which is crazy to me, I was just seeking out basic talk therapy nothing specialized), if they don’t require a referral they aren’t returning my calls. Things are really bad right now.
I know this sub is for people with ROCD but I have no one to talk or vent to. Don’t feel obligated to respond either, it is welcomed if you choose to. I just need to get things out I guess, for some reason it feels better than just writing in my notes app.
2024.05.15 07:41 webdev20 What is WordPress Elementor Page Builder? A Beginner's Guide
Hey there, let's talk about Elementor – the game-changer in website design! It's like this super cool page builder for WordPress that lets you whip up awesome websites like a pro, without breaking a sweat. We're diving into what makes Elementor tick, all the cool features it's got, and why it's totally changed the game for web design. Get ready to be amazed!
What is Elementor ? Elementor is like the ultimate cheat code for building awesome websites on WordPress. It's this rad drag-and-drop page builder that lets you customize your site without having to know any fancy coding stuff. It hit the scene back in 2016 and quickly became a favorite among folks who want to make killer websites without all the hassle. It's super easy to use, packed with tons of cool features, and has a massive library of design stuff to play around with. It's basically every website builder's dream come true!
Features and Functionality:
Check out what Elementor brings to the table:
Drag-and-Drop Editor: No coding needed! Elementor's drag-and-drop editor lets you design your site right before your eyes. Just grab stuff from the sidebar and drop it wherever you want on the page for a killer layout.
Customizable Widgets: You've got a ton of widgets to play with – text, images, buttons, sliders, you name it. And the best part? You can tweak everything from fonts and colors to spacing and animations to make them totally your own.
Template Library: Say goodbye to boring templates! Elementor hooks you up with a bunch of pre-designed templates for all parts of your site – headers, footers, pages, you name it. Just pick one that fits your vibe and customize it to match your style.
Responsive Design: Your site needs to look good on every device, right? With Elementor, you can create designs that look awesome on desktops, tablets, and phones without breaking a sweat.
Theme Builder: Forget messing around with extra plugins – Elementor's got you covered with its Theme Builder feature. Design custom headers, footers, and more right from the Elementor interface for total control over your site's look.
Global Widgets and Styles: Want to keep things consistent across your whole site? Elementor's got your back with global widgets and styles. Create once, use everywhere – easy peasy!
Elementor requires reliable web hosting to ensure smooth operation; a slow server can significantly impact your website's speed. Let's explore the articles on this topic: Best web hosting according to reddit.
Benefits of Using Elementor:
Here's why Elementor is awesome:
In today's digital world, having an online presence is a must. Elementor is leading the charge, making web design accessible to everyone and helping businesses and individuals create awesome online experiences. So jump on the Elementor train and take your web design skills to the next level!
submitted by webdev20 to u/webdev20 [link] [comments]
What is Elementor ? Elementor is like the ultimate cheat code for building awesome websites on WordPress. It's this rad drag-and-drop page builder that lets you customize your site without having to know any fancy coding stuff. It hit the scene back in 2016 and quickly became a favorite among folks who want to make killer websites without all the hassle. It's super easy to use, packed with tons of cool features, and has a massive library of design stuff to play around with. It's basically every website builder's dream come true!
Features and Functionality:
Check out what Elementor brings to the table:
Drag-and-Drop Editor: No coding needed! Elementor's drag-and-drop editor lets you design your site right before your eyes. Just grab stuff from the sidebar and drop it wherever you want on the page for a killer layout.
Customizable Widgets: You've got a ton of widgets to play with – text, images, buttons, sliders, you name it. And the best part? You can tweak everything from fonts and colors to spacing and animations to make them totally your own.
Template Library: Say goodbye to boring templates! Elementor hooks you up with a bunch of pre-designed templates for all parts of your site – headers, footers, pages, you name it. Just pick one that fits your vibe and customize it to match your style.
Responsive Design: Your site needs to look good on every device, right? With Elementor, you can create designs that look awesome on desktops, tablets, and phones without breaking a sweat.
Theme Builder: Forget messing around with extra plugins – Elementor's got you covered with its Theme Builder feature. Design custom headers, footers, and more right from the Elementor interface for total control over your site's look.
Global Widgets and Styles: Want to keep things consistent across your whole site? Elementor's got your back with global widgets and styles. Create once, use everywhere – easy peasy!
Elementor requires reliable web hosting to ensure smooth operation; a slow server can significantly impact your website's speed. Let's explore the articles on this topic: Best web hosting according to reddit.
Benefits of Using Elementor:
Here's why Elementor is awesome:
- Easy to Use: Whether you're a total newbie or a coding whiz, Elementor's interface is super easy to get the hang of. Just drag and drop stuff where you want it – easy peasy!
- Saves Time and Money: Building a website can be pricey and time-consuming, but not with Elementor. It cuts down on all the fancy coding stuff, so you can get your site up and running in a flash without breaking the bank.
- Get Creative: With Elementor, you're the boss of your website. Customize every little detail to make it totally your own – the possibilities are endless!
- Join the Crew: Elementor's got a cool community of users, developers, and designers who are always ready to lend a hand. Plus, there are tons of tutorials and support resources to help you out whenever you need it. It's like having your own website-building squad!
In today's digital world, having an online presence is a must. Elementor is leading the charge, making web design accessible to everyone and helping businesses and individuals create awesome online experiences. So jump on the Elementor train and take your web design skills to the next level!
2024.05.15 07:41 Vulpixie1998 Unsure if I should invite my uncle to my wedding
Last summer, my boyfriend and I went to my uncle's house for a BBQ. Being the only girl on that side of the family, I often feel like the black sheep, but I've always gotten along well enough with my uncle. We ended up staying until 2am talking with my uncle and his wife (everyone else had left by then). It was meaningful conversation, and in a moment of vulnerability, I decided to talk about my parent's divorce and how that impacted me. It was a big deal for me as I'd only ever told my boyfriend about that time in my life. As I shared, my boyfriend would chime in here and there, telling them how he'd seen me overcome those challenges and things like that. Neither one of us bad mouthing my parents whatsoever. We left that night and everything seemed perfectly fine.
A few weeks ago, my uncle told my dad (his brother) everything I had said, as well as things I didn't say like I thought my dad was a bad father. He also said my boyfriend was "bashing" my dad the entire conversation (in the past, my uncle's told people that he doesn't trust my bf so I'm not surprised). Things were said that night that apparently made my uncle "very uncomfortable" and he thought my dad should be aware.
My dad and I had a very emotional conversation airing everything out, and luckily, we're ok. My dad also knows my boyfriend well enough to know that he'd never bash anyone, so all good there. But it very easily could've been worse.
My uncle knows that I know he did this, but hasn't reached out to me at all. My dilemma is this - I just got engaged. Do I invite my uncle to my wedding? I know he loves me very much and not being invited would be a huge blindside to him, but after this incident, I just feel so betrayed.
TL/DR: during a heartfelt conversation, my boyfriend and I discussed how my parents' divorce impacted me with my uncle, and nearly a year later, he told my dad. Things I said and didn't say were mentioned, and the word "bashing" was used to describe my bf's contribution. I've received no apology. Do I invite my uncle to my wedding? He'll be deeply hurt if I don't because he loves me very much, but I'm deeply hurt by this whole situation.
submitted by Vulpixie1998 to Advice [link] [comments]
A few weeks ago, my uncle told my dad (his brother) everything I had said, as well as things I didn't say like I thought my dad was a bad father. He also said my boyfriend was "bashing" my dad the entire conversation (in the past, my uncle's told people that he doesn't trust my bf so I'm not surprised). Things were said that night that apparently made my uncle "very uncomfortable" and he thought my dad should be aware.
My dad and I had a very emotional conversation airing everything out, and luckily, we're ok. My dad also knows my boyfriend well enough to know that he'd never bash anyone, so all good there. But it very easily could've been worse.
My uncle knows that I know he did this, but hasn't reached out to me at all. My dilemma is this - I just got engaged. Do I invite my uncle to my wedding? I know he loves me very much and not being invited would be a huge blindside to him, but after this incident, I just feel so betrayed.
TL/DR: during a heartfelt conversation, my boyfriend and I discussed how my parents' divorce impacted me with my uncle, and nearly a year later, he told my dad. Things I said and didn't say were mentioned, and the word "bashing" was used to describe my bf's contribution. I've received no apology. Do I invite my uncle to my wedding? He'll be deeply hurt if I don't because he loves me very much, but I'm deeply hurt by this whole situation.
2024.05.15 07:40 SeekingtheTruth1115 Is it Common For Family and Friends to Abandon someone if they survive late stage diagnosis?
I was diagnosed stage 3 NSC Lung cancer almost four years ago (36 yo male). Family situation was/is My dad lives here in Ohio and so does my brother (34) . My sister (38) lives in Chicago. My mom lives in Florida it comes up here for the summers. I was always close with my family and coworkers before I was diagnosed. I had that overwhelming wave of support you get when everyone you know finds out your cancer. It was all phone calls, texts, and emails for the most part. My diagnosis wasn’t the best as the cancer had spread to my adrenal gland and lymph nodes. My dad really stepped up and he was my rock. I’m lucky I had him during that time. He drove me to chemo the first couple of treatments and sat in on the dr appointments as a second ear. I was going to be doing 5 rounds of chemo every three weeks and immunotherapy for 12. The chemo killed the tumor so they cut out the upper lobe of my right lung. Immunotherapy wasn’t great but I got through it.
I was incredibly happy that I survived it all and got back to work. However some things really bothered me such as my mom never came back home during my chemo. She came home for my lobectomy in November 2020 and visited me in the hospital and held my hand like I was her baby boy again when they removed all the breathing , catheters, and drainage tubes. When I got home I noticed phone calls and texts weren’t coming in. It also bothered me that my sister never came to see me and she’s about four hours away but not four days. My brother was in town and only came once during the year of treatment.
Another thing that bothered me is none of my coworkers would call or text during my time off. I really worried when I got a letter from my employer of ten years that I was terminated. It was a really tough time and I was on so much medication and my whole routine was sitting on the couch and watching YouTube. I slowly descended into a very dark place and became scared of going in public places because I thought people were staring at me because I looked so sickly and dying. My bank account was getting down to nothing and I asked for my old position back and luckily they hired me again. It was excruciatingly difficult physically and emotionally to sell cars that hit summer of 2021. I had heat stroke three months of being back and thought I was done. I was really sick and weak. I was miserable with so many things. When I did see my family I’m sure that attitude wore off and I soon was getting comments that I was too negative.
My kids mom hates me and was in cancer research and sent me this factoid sheet from the American Cancer Association that said my five year survival odds were 3%. She said I was wasting my time I had left. She fueled my fire to live just to prove her wrong but at this point my kid wanted me to die because he thought he’d get lots of life insurance money. Then I had to take custody unexpectedly of that same kid who wanted nothing to do with me. I was barely selling enough cars to keep my job and now had to take care of and raise a 13 year old with angst. That’s when my family truly disappeared and I think it’s because they’re worried my cancer would cone back then they’d have to care for my kid.
Fast forward to now and my son is reunited with his mom. His and my relationship has never been better after getting to spend 16 months living together. My health is I’m still alive obviously but my lungs are getting much weaker and my volume is shrinking and i also originally diagnosed late stage copd and have to take steroids to help me breathe. So my health is back on the downslope and my family is completely gone. My dad never calls or talks to me, and either does my brother or sister. I see my mom once every couple of months when she’s home from Florida .
I’m just sad that they’re gone but realized they’re kind of not the best family so I might be better. I truly believe they were looking at my custody and health situation as a hot potato so they all ran for the hills. Now with my breathing getting very difficult it’s real I’m going to die young and possibly soon. it’s really effecting my memory and stamina. I get confused and need naps. Its sometimes an insurmountable task for me to go greet a customer on the lot and begin the five hour process of selling a car and getting dirty looks from customers because I look like shit because well Ive been through some stuff. My sales are failing and they want me gone. I need health insurance and what little money I do make to support my son. Im worried all this financial, parental, and physical stress is going to bring back my cancer just. I think of how I’ll die from COPD and how horrifying it seems did that way. With my family gone and my coworkers wanting me gone I know it will be alone or at a state hospital with some hospice nurse I have no clue is. I don’t look for your pity but I’d like any advice you might have to how I can find solace in this lonely isolated place I’m trapped in. I’m angry at my family but I love them.I feel like I was supposed to die and even though I didn’t die then physically I died to them mentally. Maybe it’s too tough to watch someone you love struggle and know you’ll have to do it again
submitted by SeekingtheTruth1115 to CancerFamilySupport [link] [comments]
I was incredibly happy that I survived it all and got back to work. However some things really bothered me such as my mom never came back home during my chemo. She came home for my lobectomy in November 2020 and visited me in the hospital and held my hand like I was her baby boy again when they removed all the breathing , catheters, and drainage tubes. When I got home I noticed phone calls and texts weren’t coming in. It also bothered me that my sister never came to see me and she’s about four hours away but not four days. My brother was in town and only came once during the year of treatment.
Another thing that bothered me is none of my coworkers would call or text during my time off. I really worried when I got a letter from my employer of ten years that I was terminated. It was a really tough time and I was on so much medication and my whole routine was sitting on the couch and watching YouTube. I slowly descended into a very dark place and became scared of going in public places because I thought people were staring at me because I looked so sickly and dying. My bank account was getting down to nothing and I asked for my old position back and luckily they hired me again. It was excruciatingly difficult physically and emotionally to sell cars that hit summer of 2021. I had heat stroke three months of being back and thought I was done. I was really sick and weak. I was miserable with so many things. When I did see my family I’m sure that attitude wore off and I soon was getting comments that I was too negative.
My kids mom hates me and was in cancer research and sent me this factoid sheet from the American Cancer Association that said my five year survival odds were 3%. She said I was wasting my time I had left. She fueled my fire to live just to prove her wrong but at this point my kid wanted me to die because he thought he’d get lots of life insurance money. Then I had to take custody unexpectedly of that same kid who wanted nothing to do with me. I was barely selling enough cars to keep my job and now had to take care of and raise a 13 year old with angst. That’s when my family truly disappeared and I think it’s because they’re worried my cancer would cone back then they’d have to care for my kid.
Fast forward to now and my son is reunited with his mom. His and my relationship has never been better after getting to spend 16 months living together. My health is I’m still alive obviously but my lungs are getting much weaker and my volume is shrinking and i also originally diagnosed late stage copd and have to take steroids to help me breathe. So my health is back on the downslope and my family is completely gone. My dad never calls or talks to me, and either does my brother or sister. I see my mom once every couple of months when she’s home from Florida .
I’m just sad that they’re gone but realized they’re kind of not the best family so I might be better. I truly believe they were looking at my custody and health situation as a hot potato so they all ran for the hills. Now with my breathing getting very difficult it’s real I’m going to die young and possibly soon. it’s really effecting my memory and stamina. I get confused and need naps. Its sometimes an insurmountable task for me to go greet a customer on the lot and begin the five hour process of selling a car and getting dirty looks from customers because I look like shit because well Ive been through some stuff. My sales are failing and they want me gone. I need health insurance and what little money I do make to support my son. Im worried all this financial, parental, and physical stress is going to bring back my cancer just. I think of how I’ll die from COPD and how horrifying it seems did that way. With my family gone and my coworkers wanting me gone I know it will be alone or at a state hospital with some hospice nurse I have no clue is. I don’t look for your pity but I’d like any advice you might have to how I can find solace in this lonely isolated place I’m trapped in. I’m angry at my family but I love them.I feel like I was supposed to die and even though I didn’t die then physically I died to them mentally. Maybe it’s too tough to watch someone you love struggle and know you’ll have to do it again
2024.05.15 07:39 throwawayuk1998 My list (please help me<3)
Hi everyone, long time lurker here and I have no friends to talk this out with so I really need some help. I’m pretty set on the fact I have to leave my long term bf if I’m ever going to be myself and happy. I’m a list girlie so please take a look and just say what comes to your mind because I feel like I’m losing mine trying to accept it. TIA Reasons I think I’m a lesbian: -my posters on the wall were always women unless it was a gay man -always just wanted to spend every minute of every day with my best friend in school even if I had a boyfriend,making up excuses to leave my bf’s house to go be with my bsf -feeling so protective over my best friends that no man even if they were a good person was good enough for them/didn’t know them as well as I do -always buying/making gifts for my girl friends but never feeling the urge to do that for boyfriends -crying when my friends would get a boyfriend -giving my friends lap dances like all the time -feeling weird and creepy being in the same changing room as the girls -always being very passionate and emotional about gay rights/arguing with people who were homophobic or even made slightly homophobic jokes -being able to have sex with men with no attachment at all but kissing a girl and being so overwhelmed with feelings that I got scared and distanced myself from her -not crying over boyfriends breaking up with me -not even crying when my ex bf cheated on me -recurring dream of getting married to a woman since I was a teenager -finding it so easy to flirt with men but getting very nervous and flustered and blushing talking to women even in a friendly way -choosing to have crushes on guys that the girls I liked had a crush on so we could talk about it together -having sex with men just because they wanted me and it felt nice to be desired by them/out of pity/to not seem like a bitch or a prude -crying for weeks when I found out my best friend was pregnant because when she would sleepover we would kiss each other so I like loved her and I didn’t realise she was just messing around -being overly sexual around men/talking a lot about loving dick and loving having sex with men because I felt the need to convince others -trying to convince my bf to have a threesome with a woman -secretly watching lesbian shows/movies/content creators -crying every time I saw a tiktok about lesbians getting married -being scared to even open tiktok in front of my bf -getting incredibly defensive every time my bf joked about me being a lesbian -noticing and being enamoured by pretty women in public but not even noticing men at alll -having to close my eyes during sex otherwise I cry -having to be stoned to have sex and having to smoke straight after sex to decompress -not wanting to be affectionate/cuddle/show pda with my boyfriend and being called ‘cold’ when I know I’m not that person -writing this list 5 times in the past 7 years
submitted by throwawayuk1998 to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 07:39 Ok-Berry-5709 I feel nothing after talking to her
I have been talking to this girl for about a month or so and we had talked about getting into a serious relationship in the future. We both agreed that we wanted something serious if things go well. About 2 weeks ago she decided that she actually didn’t want a relationship. Of course i was sad and heartbroken but i also understood.
We weren’t 100% committed to eachother and sometimes people change their mind. She said it was because a lot of past trauma was coming up in her life and she wasn’t emotionally available to be in a relationship. I believe her, she’s always been open and honest and communicative with me, always discussing what she wants every step of the way.
She said she wanted to remain friends because she heavily valued the emotional connection that we shared and that the only reason she told me she didn’t want a relationship is because she truly cared for me and felt it would’ve been worse if she told me farther down the line and kept those emotions suppressed . After she gave me the news i told her to give me time and space to think about what i wanted to do. She gladly gave me that.
A couple days ago we met in person to discuss what i wanted to do. I expressed that I didn’t want her in my life because if we were to maintain a purely platonic relationship it would be inauthentic to myself because I’d be wanting more than to just be friends.
When we talked I saw that she actually was not capable of being in a relationship , she had so much trouble expressing her emotions and what was bothering her that I felt like I had to pry it out of her just to understand her perspective. Which led me to believe that she was being truthful about not being able to be in a relationship.
In that moment my mindset immediately shifted and I kind of lost feelings for her when I realized she wasn’t emotionally available. We talked it through and now we’re friends. We’ve been “friends” for the past 3 days and we’ve been talking nonstop just how we were before but every time I talk to her I feel empty. I’m not mad at her or holding a grudge towards her , I also feel that I got over the romantic feelings I had for her but i no longer feel joy or excitement when i talk to her.
It also doesn’t make me sad talking to her as I don’t yearn for a relationship with her. I just feel empty i feel nothing?
Why is that? It’s unfortunate because i truly do wanna be friends with her but every time i talk to her it feels forced and im not enjoying the conversations even though we are having the same level of conversations we were having before.
Why do I feel nothing? Why don’t I feel mad or sad or even happy?
submitted by Ok-Berry-5709 to Advice [link] [comments]
We weren’t 100% committed to eachother and sometimes people change their mind. She said it was because a lot of past trauma was coming up in her life and she wasn’t emotionally available to be in a relationship. I believe her, she’s always been open and honest and communicative with me, always discussing what she wants every step of the way.
She said she wanted to remain friends because she heavily valued the emotional connection that we shared and that the only reason she told me she didn’t want a relationship is because she truly cared for me and felt it would’ve been worse if she told me farther down the line and kept those emotions suppressed . After she gave me the news i told her to give me time and space to think about what i wanted to do. She gladly gave me that.
A couple days ago we met in person to discuss what i wanted to do. I expressed that I didn’t want her in my life because if we were to maintain a purely platonic relationship it would be inauthentic to myself because I’d be wanting more than to just be friends.
When we talked I saw that she actually was not capable of being in a relationship , she had so much trouble expressing her emotions and what was bothering her that I felt like I had to pry it out of her just to understand her perspective. Which led me to believe that she was being truthful about not being able to be in a relationship.
In that moment my mindset immediately shifted and I kind of lost feelings for her when I realized she wasn’t emotionally available. We talked it through and now we’re friends. We’ve been “friends” for the past 3 days and we’ve been talking nonstop just how we were before but every time I talk to her I feel empty. I’m not mad at her or holding a grudge towards her , I also feel that I got over the romantic feelings I had for her but i no longer feel joy or excitement when i talk to her.
It also doesn’t make me sad talking to her as I don’t yearn for a relationship with her. I just feel empty i feel nothing?
Why is that? It’s unfortunate because i truly do wanna be friends with her but every time i talk to her it feels forced and im not enjoying the conversations even though we are having the same level of conversations we were having before.
Why do I feel nothing? Why don’t I feel mad or sad or even happy?
2024.05.15 07:33 Pax62375 On the Design of Human Ships: Retribution
Prev/On the Design of Human Ships/
"Just wait, how lon…" Zantol started to say as a firm click was heard as Pir-4 pressed the button. In the following moment the entire ship shuddered as all power was lost. Moments later a deep drone could be felt.
"That shouldn't have taken so long to start," Dave remarked as all the screens and consoles lit back up, as the drone to fade away. Looking around dozens of new indicator lights and alarms were screaming across the cockpit, "Well that might be it, uhh…" Dave looked to Zanthol who was shocked at what just happened, and Pir-4 now floating stilly above the radio consul, "Zanthol please tell me that this is normal and that Pir is alright"
Zanthol taking moments to understand what happened, what all the new lights are for, and moments wonder what just happened.
“Wha…, what was that."
"Well, uh, that, was the distress call," Pausing for a moment to point at Pir-4 and to mute the alarms, "will he be ok?"
"Probably, but it is impossible to know without looking in his head"
"Why aren't you concerned? I mean, he could have just died."
"Why would I, it's just a machine, and all the data can be recovered."
Taking a deep breath, Dave considered the words that he just heard, "Zanthol? How do you classify a being as sentient?"
"We have a system, how do you classify things as sentient? If I know what you would use, then it would be easier for me to explain."
"I don't necessarily see why this is important, but the way that we had done this is though test, like the Turing test, have a judge have a conversation with a known sentient being and the one being tested. Another is to test the being's creativity, or even just comparing how close to the human brain the being's brain is."
"Those are all good way to determine if a being is sentient, but the reason that Pir was created was to get one step closer to win a galactic history changing prize, and I shouldn't tell you this, but humanity will find out regardless. This prize is from an automated system from nearly a million years ago, it was to autonomously scout and lightly terraform planets for life as it knows, and through, probably a problem with the replication program, it became sapient and though many more years it came to where it is now. Just barely sentient, enough for it to want to be a part of the community, and so the machine tried, until it came to the conclusion that it wasn't sentient enough to fit in," Sighing Zanthol took a deep breath and pointed to Pir-4, "It stopped sharing the planets it has visited, demanding that we make it fully sentient, to the point of the average sentient being, like you and me. To do so it made a prize, bring it a artificial being of synthetic mind that it deems as sentient. it has been almost 43,323 years by your calendar since the start of the competition."
"So you don't consider Pir a sentient being because a machine doesn't. That doesn't make sense, just because it doesn't shouldn't mean that you don't. Humanity has had less time free to think of what makes you, you. Because I think and therefore I am, should suffice for treating other being as sentient…"
Dave was cut off by the radio cracking back to life, "YOU, we do░▓░k▒w what yo░▒id bu░ we will have your he▒▓!" Just as abruptly it started it cut back out.
"They sound mad, as much as I would like to continue to argue, there are more concerning matters at the moment," Dave said as he took hold of the control sticks, with a lurch the ship once again started to move, "Since I don't like the silence I'll explain some things to you, this left stick moves the ship in x,y,z movement, or front, back, up, down, left, and right. The right stick adjusts the rotation," Dave gives both of the sticks a wiggle, causing the whole ship to shudder.
Zanthol, pulled Pir-4's helmet off, he started to check what happened to Pir-4. Looking to Dave again he sees him reach out slips on large gloves over his atmo-suit's gloves, once these are properly around his already gloved hands they constrict around them to now sit tightly around his hands. Then with a simple his the compartment filled with a thin fog, curiously Zanthol asked, "Is something wrong, and what's with the fog?"
"Take a look out the view screen, were getting close to your ship, but its getting hard to tell the distance without looking at the readout. So to get around that this ship uses a suite of holograms that are constructed by little low power lasers, and theses holograms use the cameras and computers to make a three dimensional representation of the environment."
"So why the haze?"
"It's so the lasers can be seen." as Dave talked, holograms of Zanthol's ship the Prospector's Pick, Helum station, and the various pirate vessels, leaving all that can't be seen by the cameras are blank. Reaching out with his gloved hands Dave grabbed the holograms of the Prospector's Pick and Zanthol's ship, strangely his hands didn't just pass through the holograms. Already anticipating the coming question Dave said, "The gloves that I just put on have a pneumatic force feed back system, strong enough to resist my movements, but not so much it can hurt me. If I move my hand though any of them it will respond as if it were an object floating in space that I just smacked. The system will interpret how the I move the holograms and do its best to replicate it in real life," Dave said, as he pushed the Prospector's Pick closer to Zanthol's ship. Zanthol could feel the ship accelerate toward his ship, "So, this makes it more intuitive for a human to operate this ship."
"Ok, so what are you doing now, are you going to get us out of here?"
"Well you said that, one all of Pir's spare parts are on your ship and that you have very classified things on it. Wouldn't it be a good idea to get it all before running?"
*Beep*
Looking at the consul a gauge was flashing.
"What's that?"
"That would be a temperate gauge, and uh it says that the hull is heating up. That shouldn't be happening,"
Thinking back Zanthol remembered how the pirates breached the air-lock realized what was causing the heating, "Dave, I think it maybe the pirates, to cut open the station like that," he points at the air-lock, "to cut through it as quickly as they did, they would have to have a weapons grade laser. We probably have only a minute before it starts cutting through the hull if you can keep them from focusing on the same spot."
"Ok, that shouldn't be too hard to mitigate," with a simple twist of the wrist Dave put the ship into a gentle spin, "That should do for now. Where is a good spot for a tow cable to be put on your ship?"
"I can already feel the rising temperature rising, and it's only getting faster. If you can't do anything about it then we're probably dead."
The gauge, now entering the red, "I hear you, and I'll handle this," Dave replied turning his ship to face the pirates, "Do you know why Tungsten Carbide is such a good marital for machine tools?"
Starting to send the ship into the pirates, "It's because it harder then almost all other mettles, and do you know where the largest single piece of Tungsten Carbide is? Well, its on this ship, initially meant to skewer asteroids, but we'll see how good it is at skewering ships, and it better be, or else," sighing, Dave continued, "We're probably dead."
"That sounds insane, but probably the only thing that we can do, and even then, there are still three other in the fleet."
Suddenly, static filed the coms gradually coming clearer until a human voice could be heard, "Prospector's Pick, hold tight, help is on the way, this is the Barnard's star Battle group B3, ETA 3 minutes. just hold tight, help is on the way."
By this moment Dave's ship was careening toward the pirates, the temperature sky rocketing. The ship struggling to cool it self with the radiators turning a dull red with the heat their absorbing, struggling to dissipate the building heat.
With a, shearing, screeching, screaming, sound the spike tore into the pirate ship.
"Woooooooooooooowoh!! HELL YEAH! That will never get old no mater what the target is." Dave said with a brimming smile. "Now its getting hot in here, so I'll also show you how we cool our ships in emergencies." pressing a combination of buttons on the the consul, a hiss of cool air filled the cockpit. The hologram also showed the radiators unlatch and start floating away from the ship.
"Dave why are you jettisoning the radiators, they're needed to cool the ship."
"Yes, but that's part of the design that someone else made, and was much smarter then I am. Its going to be replaced with spares."
One of the rows of boxes moved to the place that the radiators once were, and proceeded to unfold and turn into new radiators, with this the temperature gauge visibly and quickly dropped back down to it's regular position, and the new radiators already starting to show their thermal saturation. Then the screens flashed a notification…
Incoming warp detected.
~
This started to become more disconnected and scattered toward the end, but I was just having a hard time finding a way to connect it all. I also wanted to make each chapter a bit longer, so that's why this took so long, and in all fairness I don't think I'll be writing them to be so long its just not what I'm good with.
It has almost been half a year since I randomly thought of the idea for this at a new years party, anyways here's a fun fact, I am horrible at coming up with names, so to mitigate this I have turned to use the Periotic table and names of chemicals (and/or overly common names). The most obvious of them are Dave's last name Coper most clearly a slight mis spelling of Copper, Helum Station is just a variation of Helium, (spoiler regarding Pir-4)and Pir is a mis spelled abbreviation of Periotic and 4 corresponds to Beryllium the main component in his computers and meant to reference how hard for the researchers to make a body compatible with a inorganic brain, and to my knowledge Beryllium is wildly deadly and destructive to carbon based organic chemistry.
submitted by Pax62375 to HFY [link] [comments]
"Just wait, how lon…" Zantol started to say as a firm click was heard as Pir-4 pressed the button. In the following moment the entire ship shuddered as all power was lost. Moments later a deep drone could be felt.
"That shouldn't have taken so long to start," Dave remarked as all the screens and consoles lit back up, as the drone to fade away. Looking around dozens of new indicator lights and alarms were screaming across the cockpit, "Well that might be it, uhh…" Dave looked to Zanthol who was shocked at what just happened, and Pir-4 now floating stilly above the radio consul, "Zanthol please tell me that this is normal and that Pir is alright"
Zanthol taking moments to understand what happened, what all the new lights are for, and moments wonder what just happened.
“Wha…, what was that."
"Well, uh, that, was the distress call," Pausing for a moment to point at Pir-4 and to mute the alarms, "will he be ok?"
"Probably, but it is impossible to know without looking in his head"
"Why aren't you concerned? I mean, he could have just died."
"Why would I, it's just a machine, and all the data can be recovered."
Taking a deep breath, Dave considered the words that he just heard, "Zanthol? How do you classify a being as sentient?"
"We have a system, how do you classify things as sentient? If I know what you would use, then it would be easier for me to explain."
"I don't necessarily see why this is important, but the way that we had done this is though test, like the Turing test, have a judge have a conversation with a known sentient being and the one being tested. Another is to test the being's creativity, or even just comparing how close to the human brain the being's brain is."
"Those are all good way to determine if a being is sentient, but the reason that Pir was created was to get one step closer to win a galactic history changing prize, and I shouldn't tell you this, but humanity will find out regardless. This prize is from an automated system from nearly a million years ago, it was to autonomously scout and lightly terraform planets for life as it knows, and through, probably a problem with the replication program, it became sapient and though many more years it came to where it is now. Just barely sentient, enough for it to want to be a part of the community, and so the machine tried, until it came to the conclusion that it wasn't sentient enough to fit in," Sighing Zanthol took a deep breath and pointed to Pir-4, "It stopped sharing the planets it has visited, demanding that we make it fully sentient, to the point of the average sentient being, like you and me. To do so it made a prize, bring it a artificial being of synthetic mind that it deems as sentient. it has been almost 43,323 years by your calendar since the start of the competition."
"So you don't consider Pir a sentient being because a machine doesn't. That doesn't make sense, just because it doesn't shouldn't mean that you don't. Humanity has had less time free to think of what makes you, you. Because I think and therefore I am, should suffice for treating other being as sentient…"
Dave was cut off by the radio cracking back to life, "YOU, we do░▓░k▒w what yo░▒id bu░ we will have your he▒▓!" Just as abruptly it started it cut back out.
"They sound mad, as much as I would like to continue to argue, there are more concerning matters at the moment," Dave said as he took hold of the control sticks, with a lurch the ship once again started to move, "Since I don't like the silence I'll explain some things to you, this left stick moves the ship in x,y,z movement, or front, back, up, down, left, and right. The right stick adjusts the rotation," Dave gives both of the sticks a wiggle, causing the whole ship to shudder.
Zanthol, pulled Pir-4's helmet off, he started to check what happened to Pir-4. Looking to Dave again he sees him reach out slips on large gloves over his atmo-suit's gloves, once these are properly around his already gloved hands they constrict around them to now sit tightly around his hands. Then with a simple his the compartment filled with a thin fog, curiously Zanthol asked, "Is something wrong, and what's with the fog?"
"Take a look out the view screen, were getting close to your ship, but its getting hard to tell the distance without looking at the readout. So to get around that this ship uses a suite of holograms that are constructed by little low power lasers, and theses holograms use the cameras and computers to make a three dimensional representation of the environment."
"So why the haze?"
"It's so the lasers can be seen." as Dave talked, holograms of Zanthol's ship the Prospector's Pick, Helum station, and the various pirate vessels, leaving all that can't be seen by the cameras are blank. Reaching out with his gloved hands Dave grabbed the holograms of the Prospector's Pick and Zanthol's ship, strangely his hands didn't just pass through the holograms. Already anticipating the coming question Dave said, "The gloves that I just put on have a pneumatic force feed back system, strong enough to resist my movements, but not so much it can hurt me. If I move my hand though any of them it will respond as if it were an object floating in space that I just smacked. The system will interpret how the I move the holograms and do its best to replicate it in real life," Dave said, as he pushed the Prospector's Pick closer to Zanthol's ship. Zanthol could feel the ship accelerate toward his ship, "So, this makes it more intuitive for a human to operate this ship."
"Ok, so what are you doing now, are you going to get us out of here?"
"Well you said that, one all of Pir's spare parts are on your ship and that you have very classified things on it. Wouldn't it be a good idea to get it all before running?"
*Beep*
Looking at the consul a gauge was flashing.
"What's that?"
"That would be a temperate gauge, and uh it says that the hull is heating up. That shouldn't be happening,"
Thinking back Zanthol remembered how the pirates breached the air-lock realized what was causing the heating, "Dave, I think it maybe the pirates, to cut open the station like that," he points at the air-lock, "to cut through it as quickly as they did, they would have to have a weapons grade laser. We probably have only a minute before it starts cutting through the hull if you can keep them from focusing on the same spot."
"Ok, that shouldn't be too hard to mitigate," with a simple twist of the wrist Dave put the ship into a gentle spin, "That should do for now. Where is a good spot for a tow cable to be put on your ship?"
"I can already feel the rising temperature rising, and it's only getting faster. If you can't do anything about it then we're probably dead."
The gauge, now entering the red, "I hear you, and I'll handle this," Dave replied turning his ship to face the pirates, "Do you know why Tungsten Carbide is such a good marital for machine tools?"
Starting to send the ship into the pirates, "It's because it harder then almost all other mettles, and do you know where the largest single piece of Tungsten Carbide is? Well, its on this ship, initially meant to skewer asteroids, but we'll see how good it is at skewering ships, and it better be, or else," sighing, Dave continued, "We're probably dead."
"That sounds insane, but probably the only thing that we can do, and even then, there are still three other in the fleet."
Suddenly, static filed the coms gradually coming clearer until a human voice could be heard, "Prospector's Pick, hold tight, help is on the way, this is the Barnard's star Battle group B3, ETA 3 minutes. just hold tight, help is on the way."
By this moment Dave's ship was careening toward the pirates, the temperature sky rocketing. The ship struggling to cool it self with the radiators turning a dull red with the heat their absorbing, struggling to dissipate the building heat.
With a, shearing, screeching, screaming, sound the spike tore into the pirate ship.
"Woooooooooooooowoh!! HELL YEAH! That will never get old no mater what the target is." Dave said with a brimming smile. "Now its getting hot in here, so I'll also show you how we cool our ships in emergencies." pressing a combination of buttons on the the consul, a hiss of cool air filled the cockpit. The hologram also showed the radiators unlatch and start floating away from the ship.
"Dave why are you jettisoning the radiators, they're needed to cool the ship."
"Yes, but that's part of the design that someone else made, and was much smarter then I am. Its going to be replaced with spares."
One of the rows of boxes moved to the place that the radiators once were, and proceeded to unfold and turn into new radiators, with this the temperature gauge visibly and quickly dropped back down to it's regular position, and the new radiators already starting to show their thermal saturation. Then the screens flashed a notification…
Incoming warp detected.
~
This started to become more disconnected and scattered toward the end, but I was just having a hard time finding a way to connect it all. I also wanted to make each chapter a bit longer, so that's why this took so long, and in all fairness I don't think I'll be writing them to be so long its just not what I'm good with.
It has almost been half a year since I randomly thought of the idea for this at a new years party, anyways here's a fun fact, I am horrible at coming up with names, so to mitigate this I have turned to use the Periotic table and names of chemicals (and/or overly common names). The most obvious of them are Dave's last name Coper most clearly a slight mis spelling of Copper, Helum Station is just a variation of Helium, (spoiler regarding Pir-4)and Pir is a mis spelled abbreviation of Periotic and 4 corresponds to Beryllium the main component in his computers and meant to reference how hard for the researchers to make a body compatible with a inorganic brain, and to my knowledge Beryllium is wildly deadly and destructive to carbon based organic chemistry.
2024.05.15 07:33 m4ndy246 i don’t want to be here anymore
i guess this is a common feeling here. but i’m just so done. im so so done. i think my life has been nothing but one traumatic awful life altering experience after another, with few or no joys in between. there has been irreparable damage done to my psyche and it gets worse every day. i am an outcast, a social pariah, a freak, a bummer, whatever. i’m almost 25 and i have found nothing in life to bring contentment or joy or peace or anything of the sort. right now my spouse is ignoring me for a game as im locked in the bathroom trying to find painless methods to leave. i just don’t know. i don’t know how or why ive lasted this long. i dont know why i was put here in the first place. my life has been almost exclusively suffering. sure in the day to day it isn’t always that extreme but the day to day are difficult in and of themselves. not necessarily traumatic but because of the trauma and resulting severe mental illness i can hardly get through the day feeling even somewhat ok let alone happy or joyful. i’m so sad and anxious and alone. i make friends and i ruin the friendship within a matter of weeks, yet i rarely can even recognize what’s so wrong with me. but something clearly is because no matter the friends and no matter the circumstances it always ends with loneliness. i’ve been married for 3 years and nearly got divorced at least twice. one time included a suicide attempt. and since that time i’ve had a hard time trusting my spouse because he slept with someone while we were separated. it’s destroying my relationship because im paranoid constantly and always trying to check his phone because of the paranoia and fear. i have a laundry list of diagnoses and i take all this medication each day and it changes nothing. i’ve been seeking treatment since i was 12. ive been hospitalized probably about 10 times, ive been to treatment centers multiple times, countless therapists, every medication that exists for psychiatric issues, even the name brand last resort $600 a month bullshit for truly lost causes. they say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem but the problem doesn’t seem so temporary anymore. i’ve had obsessive compulsive tendencies from childhood into adulthood, anxiety, self loathing, weight issues, etc since i was a literal 6 year old.trauma began probably before i had memory so i don’t even know what life is like without at least ptsd or anxiety or whatever the fuck. not only am i sad but im also angry. im so fucking angry and filled with rage and it’s exhausting. i just want relief. i’m a christian and i believe in heaven, and im just so lost as to why im even here when i could be there. lately i don’t care about the answer or the reason i just want to go. sorry if this is a jumbled incoherent mess. i’m not really going for legibility. i guess it’s just a last hope or cry for help. or something. idk what
submitted by m4ndy246 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 07:32 Scared-Confusion1407 my letter
believe it or not, i dont want to die sad. but how does one die feeling happy? feeling at peace? i too do not know how, but i want to try to find the answer today. i want to sleep forever, now. so i want to try my best to give you a brief recap of how ive been suicidal and depressed till now.
to be honest i didnt know how it exactly started. when did i feel depressed? no, scratch that. when did i feel sad for no reason? ninth grade. i cant remember the specifics now, but i do remember trying to drown myself, my first attempt of suicide, because of my grades. i was 13, i felt hopeless, my mom got mad at me, and we didnt have the closeness of our relationship that we have now. i became more sad when i reached my senior year of high school, grades 11 and 12. i had my first heartbreak (cliche as it sounds) and i sabotaged all my friendships. i was a bad friend, i was getting into smoking and drinking--i made both of them my coping mechanism. i spent my days lying in bed, crying in the mornings before school started inside the bathroom stalls, i skipped classes and traveled on my own and smoke and drink--people believed i was 18. but i was 16. i was 16, but i felt like my inner machinery was already tarnished. i chased love but turned away the second they showed me that they liked me. i ran away from my friends and used them for my own benefit because i was 'sad' and that they should 'know' that because they were my 'friends'. but no. nobody deserves that kind of treatment. i was never saved that time, never told anyone how i truly felt. but when i did tell i immediately regretted it because they never understood my weight of emotions; i felt invalidated.
freshman year of college rolled through and i thought i was doing fine, but i wasn't. i wanted to be so much that i ended up overexerting myself. when it finally became too heavy for me i stayed out late, drank again, spent the night with my friends and didn't come home. the next day i told my mom that i had this urge to be alone, to disappear, and that my emotions were all so heavy that i was becoming more sad everyday that even i didn't know the reason. before i could say i wanted help, she told me instead the opposites of what i have been saying. 'ah, this must be what invalidation feels like' i thought, and thats when i knew that really, no one will understand what im going through. its the pandemic now, 2020 and im turning 18, the age of adulthood. funny enough months before that i told myself that i wanted to die, and that there was a bleach ready in out bathroom for me to try out. i thought back then, dying at 18 would be nice because it would spare me the pains of adulthood. my birthday came, i felt heavy when i woke up; i finally decided, you know. my mind was made up. but then i woke up and i hear my dad calling my mom on the phone and asking her if i was already awake, my mom sounded giddy, excited, and told my dad that i haven't woke up yet and that there's too much food on the table she's excited on how ill react. i cried. they were downstairs celebrating my birthday but i was stuck in bed thinking of ways to unalive myself. in the end i came down, wiped my tears, celebrated my birthday normally, posed for some pictures, and called it a day. that was the day i started dreading having to celebrate my birthday. same year, october, i called the suicide hotline with pills in my hand, ready to end it all. long story short, more shit happened. called the hotline, texted my cousin i was gonna die, she then called her parents then said parents called my mom. mom caught me, we cried so hard, i told her everything. we became closer then. she was my best friend and still is, and it pains me that im not the best daughter and friend she has. i wanted to take a break from school then, i wanted to see a shrink, but guess what, nothing happened. i went back to classes like nothing happened. my emotions werent compensated. i was doing everything with a broken mind. no one around me talked to me about what happened, only i relived it. i preferred if they talked to me about it, i preferred if i took a break for a while, it would have been nice to talk to someone about, talk about this unending sadness that im feeling; if i did then maybe i could be a tiny bit better. but no. i gave every feeling i had for free.
4 years passed and im still here. what am i now? things were good two years ago, but how about now? i still sabotaged everything, while trying to fix things aside. i tried to live life, but my anxiety just got worse; heck i didnt even have anxiety before. i had everything planned out three years ago, now im lost again. i dont have someone to talk to, i ruined the friendships i built with trust. i ruined my relationships with everyone and i act like the victim in my head. im a fucked up person and i wonder if my sadness and melancholy justifies all this. everyday i live with a weight on my shoulder. id say i want to try my best today with a lump on my throat. i tell my mom im having fun but then i turn to a socially awkward girl alone. i tell her im doing fine but i really want to jump off our unit. im becoming a threat to myself, im becoming so lost that i need something to believe in again. im so lonely, im so alone, but i pushed away everyone else. maybe this is all im meant to be, really. i dont think the blues will ever me leave me, ive been accustomed to feeling sad and hurt all the time that im scared of being happy. does it even suit me?
i need help. i really need to figure out whats wrong with me. ive always yearned for help. i gaslighted myself a year ago that i didnt need it anymore, i still do. but what will i do when no ones listening to me? when my parents care about imagery rather than my wellbeing? when they care about other people telling them that their daughters 'fucked in the head', well i am. and to the people who tells me that i am, well i am, and probably you guys are and your children feels the same too.
what will the girl who dreamed of becoming a beautician think about the girl who i am now? what will my other selves say about me? ill forever mourn the girl who i wanted to be. the writer, the poet, someone who writes for a living and just sits down in her room with a view. i could also work in a library or in a museum, where i could stare at art and write about it. i want to write. and im sorry lola that i didnt get to finish the story i was writing for you. im sorry im not becoming someone you wished to be. im sorry to everyone who i let down. to my mom, you really are my best friend and im thankful to everything youve done for me, and the little things youve done to make me feel better. to my dad, thank you for the sacrifices you made for us, for my education, despite not being there physically. but you know, i had a lot of trauma growing up and carrying them now because of you two. my social anxiety, the way im afraid to speak up, when im asked about something i dont respond, because everything feels like a wrong answer. and a wrong answer always equates to screaming and shouting and punishing me physically for discipline. but dont worry, i guess, i tried to accept it with love. love equals hate, after all. the two of you did your best, but im sorry. i just want to sleep now.
submitted by Scared-Confusion1407 to u/Scared-Confusion1407 [link] [comments]
to be honest i didnt know how it exactly started. when did i feel depressed? no, scratch that. when did i feel sad for no reason? ninth grade. i cant remember the specifics now, but i do remember trying to drown myself, my first attempt of suicide, because of my grades. i was 13, i felt hopeless, my mom got mad at me, and we didnt have the closeness of our relationship that we have now. i became more sad when i reached my senior year of high school, grades 11 and 12. i had my first heartbreak (cliche as it sounds) and i sabotaged all my friendships. i was a bad friend, i was getting into smoking and drinking--i made both of them my coping mechanism. i spent my days lying in bed, crying in the mornings before school started inside the bathroom stalls, i skipped classes and traveled on my own and smoke and drink--people believed i was 18. but i was 16. i was 16, but i felt like my inner machinery was already tarnished. i chased love but turned away the second they showed me that they liked me. i ran away from my friends and used them for my own benefit because i was 'sad' and that they should 'know' that because they were my 'friends'. but no. nobody deserves that kind of treatment. i was never saved that time, never told anyone how i truly felt. but when i did tell i immediately regretted it because they never understood my weight of emotions; i felt invalidated.
freshman year of college rolled through and i thought i was doing fine, but i wasn't. i wanted to be so much that i ended up overexerting myself. when it finally became too heavy for me i stayed out late, drank again, spent the night with my friends and didn't come home. the next day i told my mom that i had this urge to be alone, to disappear, and that my emotions were all so heavy that i was becoming more sad everyday that even i didn't know the reason. before i could say i wanted help, she told me instead the opposites of what i have been saying. 'ah, this must be what invalidation feels like' i thought, and thats when i knew that really, no one will understand what im going through. its the pandemic now, 2020 and im turning 18, the age of adulthood. funny enough months before that i told myself that i wanted to die, and that there was a bleach ready in out bathroom for me to try out. i thought back then, dying at 18 would be nice because it would spare me the pains of adulthood. my birthday came, i felt heavy when i woke up; i finally decided, you know. my mind was made up. but then i woke up and i hear my dad calling my mom on the phone and asking her if i was already awake, my mom sounded giddy, excited, and told my dad that i haven't woke up yet and that there's too much food on the table she's excited on how ill react. i cried. they were downstairs celebrating my birthday but i was stuck in bed thinking of ways to unalive myself. in the end i came down, wiped my tears, celebrated my birthday normally, posed for some pictures, and called it a day. that was the day i started dreading having to celebrate my birthday. same year, october, i called the suicide hotline with pills in my hand, ready to end it all. long story short, more shit happened. called the hotline, texted my cousin i was gonna die, she then called her parents then said parents called my mom. mom caught me, we cried so hard, i told her everything. we became closer then. she was my best friend and still is, and it pains me that im not the best daughter and friend she has. i wanted to take a break from school then, i wanted to see a shrink, but guess what, nothing happened. i went back to classes like nothing happened. my emotions werent compensated. i was doing everything with a broken mind. no one around me talked to me about what happened, only i relived it. i preferred if they talked to me about it, i preferred if i took a break for a while, it would have been nice to talk to someone about, talk about this unending sadness that im feeling; if i did then maybe i could be a tiny bit better. but no. i gave every feeling i had for free.
4 years passed and im still here. what am i now? things were good two years ago, but how about now? i still sabotaged everything, while trying to fix things aside. i tried to live life, but my anxiety just got worse; heck i didnt even have anxiety before. i had everything planned out three years ago, now im lost again. i dont have someone to talk to, i ruined the friendships i built with trust. i ruined my relationships with everyone and i act like the victim in my head. im a fucked up person and i wonder if my sadness and melancholy justifies all this. everyday i live with a weight on my shoulder. id say i want to try my best today with a lump on my throat. i tell my mom im having fun but then i turn to a socially awkward girl alone. i tell her im doing fine but i really want to jump off our unit. im becoming a threat to myself, im becoming so lost that i need something to believe in again. im so lonely, im so alone, but i pushed away everyone else. maybe this is all im meant to be, really. i dont think the blues will ever me leave me, ive been accustomed to feeling sad and hurt all the time that im scared of being happy. does it even suit me?
i need help. i really need to figure out whats wrong with me. ive always yearned for help. i gaslighted myself a year ago that i didnt need it anymore, i still do. but what will i do when no ones listening to me? when my parents care about imagery rather than my wellbeing? when they care about other people telling them that their daughters 'fucked in the head', well i am. and to the people who tells me that i am, well i am, and probably you guys are and your children feels the same too.
what will the girl who dreamed of becoming a beautician think about the girl who i am now? what will my other selves say about me? ill forever mourn the girl who i wanted to be. the writer, the poet, someone who writes for a living and just sits down in her room with a view. i could also work in a library or in a museum, where i could stare at art and write about it. i want to write. and im sorry lola that i didnt get to finish the story i was writing for you. im sorry im not becoming someone you wished to be. im sorry to everyone who i let down. to my mom, you really are my best friend and im thankful to everything youve done for me, and the little things youve done to make me feel better. to my dad, thank you for the sacrifices you made for us, for my education, despite not being there physically. but you know, i had a lot of trauma growing up and carrying them now because of you two. my social anxiety, the way im afraid to speak up, when im asked about something i dont respond, because everything feels like a wrong answer. and a wrong answer always equates to screaming and shouting and punishing me physically for discipline. but dont worry, i guess, i tried to accept it with love. love equals hate, after all. the two of you did your best, but im sorry. i just want to sleep now.
2024.05.15 07:32 ScottYayo-2000 AITA for trapping and relocating a squirrel?
Me and my wife live in a small suburban house with separate a "garage". What I mean by the quotes is it's definitely an original structure of our 80+ year old property that has been reinforced, patched up and reworked. It has 2 heavy sagging doors rather than an up down situation. At some point, some previous owner decided to roof and vinyl this garage with modern roof and vinyl stuff. Shingles, vinyl siding, and.. soffits.
Soffits are basically that empty part of the roof on the edges that let the roof overhang the structure. Oh and btw there's a wooden fence not half an inch from the back of the shed and the next property. Right up against it.
So a family of squirrels decided to make my soffits their home, we've seen them run along the fence, jump up thru a CHEWED HOLE IN MY SOFFITS, and live their best squirrel lives. First my wife was like "handle it, call an exterminator" and I was like "no it's at least $350"
We both agree to no poison bait. One news story about a bald eagle who conservationalists tried to save but died and had bait was enough for that. So I bought a trap, put a peanut butter sandwich in it, put it in the yard, and low and behold, caught a squirrel. I dropped it off in some woods like 2 towns over. Now my wife is like, emotionally "oh I just feel so bad about breaking up a family" (as though poisoning them wouldn't) and fearfully "what your doing is illegal, you need a license" which is I guess true where I live.
So now I'm all conflicted, the trap is out there by the shed for contestint number 2 to eat my PB sandwich and get dumped 2 towns over. So AITA? Should I call a pro to do it more humanely? Am I messing with my local ecosystem? Am I gonna get charged with a crime if I get caught?
Extra: the reason I mentioned the sagging doors is they don't shut properly and the squirrels can get in thru there as well. I've used tape on the soffits, they eat thru it. I've tried bricks and wood on the doors, they find a way in. Point is, I've tried just evicting them by changing the locks, they always find a way in even if it means damaging my property, I'm at the end of my rope.
submitted by ScottYayo-2000 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
Soffits are basically that empty part of the roof on the edges that let the roof overhang the structure. Oh and btw there's a wooden fence not half an inch from the back of the shed and the next property. Right up against it.
So a family of squirrels decided to make my soffits their home, we've seen them run along the fence, jump up thru a CHEWED HOLE IN MY SOFFITS, and live their best squirrel lives. First my wife was like "handle it, call an exterminator" and I was like "no it's at least $350"
We both agree to no poison bait. One news story about a bald eagle who conservationalists tried to save but died and had bait was enough for that. So I bought a trap, put a peanut butter sandwich in it, put it in the yard, and low and behold, caught a squirrel. I dropped it off in some woods like 2 towns over. Now my wife is like, emotionally "oh I just feel so bad about breaking up a family" (as though poisoning them wouldn't) and fearfully "what your doing is illegal, you need a license" which is I guess true where I live.
So now I'm all conflicted, the trap is out there by the shed for contestint number 2 to eat my PB sandwich and get dumped 2 towns over. So AITA? Should I call a pro to do it more humanely? Am I messing with my local ecosystem? Am I gonna get charged with a crime if I get caught?
Extra: the reason I mentioned the sagging doors is they don't shut properly and the squirrels can get in thru there as well. I've used tape on the soffits, they eat thru it. I've tried bricks and wood on the doors, they find a way in. Point is, I've tried just evicting them by changing the locks, they always find a way in even if it means damaging my property, I'm at the end of my rope.
2024.05.15 07:32 baikaldeep Q&A with the enthusiastic founder of a small business who is using all the wrong fonts and is doomed to fail
Hi EFOASBWIUATWFAIDTF, I had my first one-night stand recently. Afterward, he kind of rolled over in bed. I didn't know if I was supposed to leave, go to sleep, or be the big spoon. What's normal in this situation? Help! -Katia
Hi Katia! Whether it's romance or designing the next big revolution in SaaS for food delivery, you have to play to win! Set your eyes to the horizon, take what you want and pay for it.
That's how it was for me designing BOREAS. I needed access to the best consultants. Do you think it was cheap to dream up product names like iPhone or Fruitopia? No, I had to liquidate my 401(k). But you've got to go all in on yourself, go big or go home. In your case Katia, I'm not sure how close you live if you did go home or if the L was still running. But even if it wasn't, I recently learned that all of your expenses, whether an Uber ride home or pet insurance, can be deducted from your taxes if you own your own business. HTH! -Steve Lanston, founder and CEO of Saucily
Hi EFOASBWIUATWFAIDTF, I've been hanging onto some friendships with people who became snakes in adulthood. What do you do about toxic people you have become invested in? I feel like I'm going crazy! -Emily
Hi Emily! Great question. To be successful, you have to surround yourself exclusively with successful people. As the CEO of a potential fortune 500 company, I think about this a lot, because like you, I cannot afford to get dragged down. It's not you who's crazy, it's them.
This is the reason that I had the bittersweet task of firing my first employee. And it is why I am now in active litigation against him for undermining crucial intellectual property concerning features of BOREAS. Everyone knows that food delivery is huge right now: Door Dash, GrubHub, Uber Eats, etc. But SaaS to help these companies coordinate with each other so that customers can get sauces and toppings from other restaurants? It's a game changer. Eric knew what he was doing when sent those tweets.
Like me, you can't let injustice go unanswered. This may mean you have to go it alone sometimes. But you are the only person you can count on. Why do you think I bought a gaming computer to host our website from my apartment? It's because AWS is too unreliable. But I can count on myself. And so can you, Emily! HTH! -Steve Lanston, founder and CEO of Saucily
Hi EFOASBWIUATWFAIDTF, I am a consumate femcel (kissless, handhold-less virgin). I was recently accepted to a Master's program in NYC, and I am moving this fall (although I might defer til the spring). I want to reinvent myself, but I feel like whatever I do will look awkward and someone will laugh at me. What can I do to shed my ugly duckling persona and finally become a sought-after swan? I need your advice, please! -Cammy
Hi Cammy! One of the oldest truths is that life is full of hardships, but you have to face them head on and then pick yourself up and keep going. It's what we do when life throws us a curve ball that defines us. First ask yourself this: "Am I ready to be inspired?" Are you?
Are you ready to stop looking back and be your best self going forward? Are you ready to turning getting laid off at 46 and then losing your Amazon internship for taking home a bottle of Sriracha into a once-in-a-generation business? Every successful company has some kind of unfair advantage. What's your unfair advantage, Cammy? What asset or work ethic do you have that other girls will leave on the table? What's your secret sauce? Our secret sauce is Fire sauce from Taco Bell served on a Big Mac from McDonalds. It's one of those things that's obvious in hindsight. But you have to be the first person who sees that opportunity before everyone else follows.
I also want to say that your first sales are always the hardest. But just imagine, you start with one sale. And then two. Before long, your runway is growing, and you can afford to pay down the loans you took. Don't worry if they laugh at you, Cammy. Find your secret sauce and then lean into it. I forget who said it, but first they think you're crazy, then they fight you, and then all of a sudden you change the world. -Steve Lanston, founder and CEO of Saucily
submitted by baikaldeep to rspod [link] [comments]
Hi Katia! Whether it's romance or designing the next big revolution in SaaS for food delivery, you have to play to win! Set your eyes to the horizon, take what you want and pay for it.
That's how it was for me designing BOREAS. I needed access to the best consultants. Do you think it was cheap to dream up product names like iPhone or Fruitopia? No, I had to liquidate my 401(k). But you've got to go all in on yourself, go big or go home. In your case Katia, I'm not sure how close you live if you did go home or if the L was still running. But even if it wasn't, I recently learned that all of your expenses, whether an Uber ride home or pet insurance, can be deducted from your taxes if you own your own business. HTH! -Steve Lanston, founder and CEO of Saucily
Hi EFOASBWIUATWFAIDTF, I've been hanging onto some friendships with people who became snakes in adulthood. What do you do about toxic people you have become invested in? I feel like I'm going crazy! -Emily
Hi Emily! Great question. To be successful, you have to surround yourself exclusively with successful people. As the CEO of a potential fortune 500 company, I think about this a lot, because like you, I cannot afford to get dragged down. It's not you who's crazy, it's them.
This is the reason that I had the bittersweet task of firing my first employee. And it is why I am now in active litigation against him for undermining crucial intellectual property concerning features of BOREAS. Everyone knows that food delivery is huge right now: Door Dash, GrubHub, Uber Eats, etc. But SaaS to help these companies coordinate with each other so that customers can get sauces and toppings from other restaurants? It's a game changer. Eric knew what he was doing when sent those tweets.
Like me, you can't let injustice go unanswered. This may mean you have to go it alone sometimes. But you are the only person you can count on. Why do you think I bought a gaming computer to host our website from my apartment? It's because AWS is too unreliable. But I can count on myself. And so can you, Emily! HTH! -Steve Lanston, founder and CEO of Saucily
Hi EFOASBWIUATWFAIDTF, I am a consumate femcel (kissless, handhold-less virgin). I was recently accepted to a Master's program in NYC, and I am moving this fall (although I might defer til the spring). I want to reinvent myself, but I feel like whatever I do will look awkward and someone will laugh at me. What can I do to shed my ugly duckling persona and finally become a sought-after swan? I need your advice, please! -Cammy
Hi Cammy! One of the oldest truths is that life is full of hardships, but you have to face them head on and then pick yourself up and keep going. It's what we do when life throws us a curve ball that defines us. First ask yourself this: "Am I ready to be inspired?" Are you?
Are you ready to stop looking back and be your best self going forward? Are you ready to turning getting laid off at 46 and then losing your Amazon internship for taking home a bottle of Sriracha into a once-in-a-generation business? Every successful company has some kind of unfair advantage. What's your unfair advantage, Cammy? What asset or work ethic do you have that other girls will leave on the table? What's your secret sauce? Our secret sauce is Fire sauce from Taco Bell served on a Big Mac from McDonalds. It's one of those things that's obvious in hindsight. But you have to be the first person who sees that opportunity before everyone else follows.
I also want to say that your first sales are always the hardest. But just imagine, you start with one sale. And then two. Before long, your runway is growing, and you can afford to pay down the loans you took. Don't worry if they laugh at you, Cammy. Find your secret sauce and then lean into it. I forget who said it, but first they think you're crazy, then they fight you, and then all of a sudden you change the world. -Steve Lanston, founder and CEO of Saucily
2024.05.15 07:32 _blooopy im so intensely sweaty its kinda concerning + armpit stank :( sweaty girlies help
ok lemme start off by saying: yes i do shower daily (every 3 days bc i have curly hair n that shit does not dry quick) and no i do not have diabetes, pre-diabetes, some hybrid of diabetes, or even an unknown type of diabetes. i can confirm this wholeheartedly bc i recently got my blood taken. i weigh 220lbs. im just fat. i dont want this to be taken as like this might be a health concern regarding weight or being asked if maybe im just not being very clean. i mean it may be that idk but it would put my mind at ease if it wasnt related to those.
anyways i really do not know what happened to my body. i feel like im going through puberty again. the sweat problem has been there for idk 3 or more years and its actually kinda weird that i never got that checked out. i should actually.
the sweat problem is basically what is sounds like: i sweat a lot. the kicker is that it has to be winter-cold or november-chilly at most for me to feel like im not burning under the sun on the beach. its so weird because even in 70F degrees weather, i will start feeling kinda warm and start sweating.
at some point, i stopped wearing all types of clothes that are meant to keep people warm from the cold. last two winters, i was seen in a oversized Tshirt and short-shorts + a thin zip up hoodie just in case i got cold. pretty sure it snowed too.
even when now, in may, when its kinda windy where i live, my house feels so hot im actually melting. im locked in my room with a good, strong fan pointed at me, almost at max air.
summer is absolute hell. im on my bed in agony bc of how hot i feel and my sheets are drenched in sweat. (pray for me this summer btw i might be forced to go on a family trip to the beach and idk if ill make it out alive)
also the fact im weirdly always dehydrated?? im probably not because i drink so much water i practically have a collection of empty water bottles scattered in a corner but im just really thirsty all the time so theres also that.
and now something NEW happened to my body that i absolutely hate. my armpits started to stink. okay it doesnt sound bad but hear me out. with how much i sweat, i dont actually smell bad. i dont actually go out anymore i guess?? because i have no reason to nowadays so the only time i put on deodorant is after my shower and leave it as that. well, i put it on when i go out and carry a small one in my bag too so theres also that.
this is just flatout nasty. i woke up one day and it reeked. i didnt even do anything like i was at home the whole time. it was so embarrassing bc my dad talked to me about it, so did my mom, and i could smell it without sniffing myself. i had to book an appointment with my primary care doctor bc this did not seem (smell lol) normal.
armpit yeast??? infection???? honestly idk but i was prescribed this powder that i had to put on every 6 hours. kinda helped but its still there just not as strong anymore.
god this is long but i wanted to really explain the stuff i was feeling health?? wise bc im more curious to know whether there are other girlies out there with the same or similar problems as me, especially the sweating problem (also with the armpit stank, i think i have an idea how to solve/deal with it but any other recs is appreciated too) if someone that also deals with one or both of these happens to come across this relates even a little, i feel like id be a little less alone about mt weird conditions that popped up randomly during my late teens. i always felt so weird and insecure about these two specifically.
but fr what do i do with the sweat cus its actually really bad. cant even wear makeup anymore :(
submitted by _blooopy to TheGirlSurvivalGuide [link] [comments]
anyways i really do not know what happened to my body. i feel like im going through puberty again. the sweat problem has been there for idk 3 or more years and its actually kinda weird that i never got that checked out. i should actually.
the sweat problem is basically what is sounds like: i sweat a lot. the kicker is that it has to be winter-cold or november-chilly at most for me to feel like im not burning under the sun on the beach. its so weird because even in 70F degrees weather, i will start feeling kinda warm and start sweating.
at some point, i stopped wearing all types of clothes that are meant to keep people warm from the cold. last two winters, i was seen in a oversized Tshirt and short-shorts + a thin zip up hoodie just in case i got cold. pretty sure it snowed too.
even when now, in may, when its kinda windy where i live, my house feels so hot im actually melting. im locked in my room with a good, strong fan pointed at me, almost at max air.
summer is absolute hell. im on my bed in agony bc of how hot i feel and my sheets are drenched in sweat. (pray for me this summer btw i might be forced to go on a family trip to the beach and idk if ill make it out alive)
also the fact im weirdly always dehydrated?? im probably not because i drink so much water i practically have a collection of empty water bottles scattered in a corner but im just really thirsty all the time so theres also that.
and now something NEW happened to my body that i absolutely hate. my armpits started to stink. okay it doesnt sound bad but hear me out. with how much i sweat, i dont actually smell bad. i dont actually go out anymore i guess?? because i have no reason to nowadays so the only time i put on deodorant is after my shower and leave it as that. well, i put it on when i go out and carry a small one in my bag too so theres also that.
this is just flatout nasty. i woke up one day and it reeked. i didnt even do anything like i was at home the whole time. it was so embarrassing bc my dad talked to me about it, so did my mom, and i could smell it without sniffing myself. i had to book an appointment with my primary care doctor bc this did not seem (smell lol) normal.
armpit yeast??? infection???? honestly idk but i was prescribed this powder that i had to put on every 6 hours. kinda helped but its still there just not as strong anymore.
god this is long but i wanted to really explain the stuff i was feeling health?? wise bc im more curious to know whether there are other girlies out there with the same or similar problems as me, especially the sweating problem (also with the armpit stank, i think i have an idea how to solve/deal with it but any other recs is appreciated too) if someone that also deals with one or both of these happens to come across this relates even a little, i feel like id be a little less alone about mt weird conditions that popped up randomly during my late teens. i always felt so weird and insecure about these two specifically.
but fr what do i do with the sweat cus its actually really bad. cant even wear makeup anymore :(
2024.05.15 07:32 MonkeyNoStopMyShow Unpleasant situation with handyman
Recently, I moved places and a few things needed fixing, so I called a few companies to come and inspect to quote the repair works. All went well with the first company, then a 2nd one came who I assume was subcontracted or so by the company I had actually called for the works (the former wrote me that a person would contact me on whatsapp, which was this guy).
I showed him and his helper around and he goes "so you don't want anything fixed now." I said, no, I want a quote only. He went on to call someone and handed over the phone. I was told to pay call-out charges if I did want to have anything fixed. I told them off by saying they should have mentioned this in advance, not afterwards and declined.
The guy insisted I would pay, saying "I'm not your servant and I paid for the fuel to come here". I said I gave you no reason to believe you are, but I am not going to pay you when I asked for a quote only. You should have mentioned these call-out charges up front.
As he refused to leave our home, I asked my wife to go get security. After a bit more barking to security, they left.
Having had 3 companies to provide a quote, none demanded call-out charges except for them. In my home country, it's normal to charge people like this, but it's always mentioned up front. A great way to not getting the job for sure.
submitted by MonkeyNoStopMyShow to dubai [link] [comments]
I showed him and his helper around and he goes "so you don't want anything fixed now." I said, no, I want a quote only. He went on to call someone and handed over the phone. I was told to pay call-out charges if I did want to have anything fixed. I told them off by saying they should have mentioned this in advance, not afterwards and declined.
The guy insisted I would pay, saying "I'm not your servant and I paid for the fuel to come here". I said I gave you no reason to believe you are, but I am not going to pay you when I asked for a quote only. You should have mentioned these call-out charges up front.
As he refused to leave our home, I asked my wife to go get security. After a bit more barking to security, they left.
Having had 3 companies to provide a quote, none demanded call-out charges except for them. In my home country, it's normal to charge people like this, but it's always mentioned up front. A great way to not getting the job for sure.
2024.05.15 07:29 Agnossienne sometimes i really feel like i have the brain of an eleven year old, despite being eighteen.
i feel like an stupid, hopeless child most of the time. it's usually subtle when i'm doing things that require low mental effort, but when i'm trying to actually adult it's like if you put an average pre-teen through a college course. no matter how much support i get, my brain just isn't ready for it.
i got so burnt out my second-to-last year of high school that i failed the final year, and i feel like that's the leading cause. i think i read somewhere that burn out can actually cause trauma. now that i have to finish work for a college course it's like i have flashbacks to my last year of high school when no matter how much help i got i couldn't make myself do anything productive.
and the thing is, the course is not even that fucking hard. it's literally only three lessons once a month, with 2-3 doable assignments each month, but i already feel like giving up.
does anyone else feel like this? i feel actually, completely, utterly, totally hopeless. like i'm a stupid child stuck in an eighteen year olds body, while the whole world grows up without me.
submitted by Agnossienne to ADHD [link] [comments]
i got so burnt out my second-to-last year of high school that i failed the final year, and i feel like that's the leading cause. i think i read somewhere that burn out can actually cause trauma. now that i have to finish work for a college course it's like i have flashbacks to my last year of high school when no matter how much help i got i couldn't make myself do anything productive.
and the thing is, the course is not even that fucking hard. it's literally only three lessons once a month, with 2-3 doable assignments each month, but i already feel like giving up.
does anyone else feel like this? i feel actually, completely, utterly, totally hopeless. like i'm a stupid child stuck in an eighteen year olds body, while the whole world grows up without me.
2024.05.15 07:27 Single_Name2292 I didn’t love my friend of 15 years back & now Im trying to get him out of his relationship.
The title is true but not in the way you think.
TL;DR - My friend liked me n got jealous of my love for someone else, we went no contact, our friend died, we got back in contact and im not sure if his current relationship is good for him right now.
I 19F met Daniel 19M when I was 8. He lived next door and I befriended him and his sister. We always constantly hung out doing whatever kids do.
In 2016 he moved to another country because his mom was dying of cancer, I barely kept in touch considering I was a child with no phone.
2021 they came back, and we immediately clicked as if those years no contact didn’t happen.
Daniel was very quiet and reserved, I was more out. I guess he warmed up to that and we became real close.
Thru out the months he started up his social life after being gone for a long time and started going to the gym. He would beg me to go but I wouldn’t find interest in it.
He ended up convincing me, I went. A week in we met this girl 20F (I’ll call her X). I found her pretty attractive. I always knew I was gay n my appearance doesn’t hide it. I never thought I’d have to mention it to Daniel since we’d both talk about girls we found attractive at the time, and I’m 5’10 with short hair and dress manlier then he does. I’ve never had to mention it to anyone, everyone just knew I was gay.
Daniel’s sister (I’ll call her Patti) befriended this insanely attractive girl we’d met. To make a long story short; she found me attractive too, we started FaceTiming as a group (X, Patti, and I) then late after Patti would sleep, X and I would spend the rest of the night talking. I was falling deeply in love.
X and myself weren’t secretive about our feelings for eachother. I think it’s important to mention she was the first I’ve ever gotten this far with. I began realizing Daniel was resentful towards X. Being really dry with her when she talked to him. Giving nasty faces, and just overall a very obvious way of showing he didn’t like her.
I on the other hand was drowning in her every chance I got, I guess you can say I started hanging with her more, which is normal when meeting a new potential lover but I should also say Daniel had his own friends he would hang with before and after X and I never had a problem with any of it. I befriended his friends too.
He started avoiding me, becoming dry, showing obvious signs of depression. He came to my house one night crying and opened up about how he feels lonely and wants a gf.
Later on I find out from a close friend that Daniel likes me. That he wanted to tell me but a majority of his friends were telling him I’m clearly gay. As well as one of my close friends telling him it too. He ended up telling me and I told him how I thought he knew I was into girls which I guess he was oblivious to, not sure how but he was.
Daniel and I stayed close for a bit but then he started to change. All he talked about was how he gets so much Pü$$y and acting like disrespecting girls is a fun hobby for him. At this point me and X were in a relationship. I mentioned to him how ugly he sounds talking like that, n how when he first got here and had his own personality instead of an adopted one he was better to be around.
We drifted and he’d call and text to check up on me thru out the year but nothing more than that. He worked with X and she had told me that he called her a good b*tch during some interaction. I texted him and very civilly said to not say that shi to her n that if he had any respect for me he would respect her despite his negative feelings towards her. He took it as me telling him to not talk to her and went about that telling X he’s “not allowed to talk to her” which I never said.
After that we rarely spoke at all. The other day one of his friends (someone I used to hang with) died in a very horrific/violent accident. It had been a year and a half since I spoke to Daniel atp. I called him and we spoke, he was obviously devastated and I texted him after letting him know I was here whenever he needed it.
I visited our friend’s grave today and saw him there. He didn’t speak to me or my friend or older sisters who were also good friends with him. We came home and FaceTimed him. We sat for an hour, we talked about our friend, what we’ve all been up to and laughed a bit for a good hour. After we hung up I texted him that it was good catching up and seeing him smile after all that’s happened and we started chatting from there. I basically told him that doesn’t matter what happened with us or how much time passed by, that we’ve known eachother long enough that we’re family by nature atp.
I would like to add that I saw him a few times in the no contact phase and he was completely distant. Except I realized something was off. I later found out he has a gf.
After some connecting of the dots. I realized she is manipulating him and taking control. He’s mentioned he cut everybody off and only talked to his gf when I saw him at Walmart some time ago. I went on his tiktok and every video is of her. Not even himself. I went on his insta that he just made and saw married in the bio. Then I saw her socials. On her tiktok she had a video about her ex, she also had nothing in her insta bio and then a video captioned something like she’d kill or run over any girl that tries talking to her bf (Daniel)
Not to mention he doesn’t even talk to my friend when he sees her and they were really good friends with no bad blood. My sister tried giving him a fist bump and he hesitated even tho he’d be the first to initiate when he saw us in public before.
Now you might not find this manipulative or controlling but hear this, while I was on FaceTime with him I mention seeing a vid of him and his gf on my tiktok to which he replied “I hate those videos” to which my friend asked why and he mentioned how his gf made him post them so that it’s known he’s with her. And she also made him create a whole new insta and put married in the bio. And he did it because he felt bad as to how she got cheated on before him. Which made no sense.
I didn’t pry because we hadn’t talked in a minute but I plan to be here for him more, because even tho I don’t know his gf I know that anyone that does that is never good in the long run & her requests will only get worse until she’s dug him in a hole deep enough where he feels like she’s the only one who can get him out since she’s slowly cutting himself off of everything except her. And after having his best friend die in the most brutal way, someone like that is the last thing he needs in his greiving and healing journey. And because I can also admit I miss having my best friend.
To those of you who have been in a toxic relationship, you can acknowledge these are beginning signs of one. To those of you who’ve never been in a toxic relationships, trust it only gets worse from there.
Even if we don’t get close, it’s enough knowing he’s not suffering more than he already is with his friends passing.
submitted by Single_Name2292 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
TL;DR - My friend liked me n got jealous of my love for someone else, we went no contact, our friend died, we got back in contact and im not sure if his current relationship is good for him right now.
I 19F met Daniel 19M when I was 8. He lived next door and I befriended him and his sister. We always constantly hung out doing whatever kids do.
In 2016 he moved to another country because his mom was dying of cancer, I barely kept in touch considering I was a child with no phone.
2021 they came back, and we immediately clicked as if those years no contact didn’t happen.
Daniel was very quiet and reserved, I was more out. I guess he warmed up to that and we became real close.
Thru out the months he started up his social life after being gone for a long time and started going to the gym. He would beg me to go but I wouldn’t find interest in it.
He ended up convincing me, I went. A week in we met this girl 20F (I’ll call her X). I found her pretty attractive. I always knew I was gay n my appearance doesn’t hide it. I never thought I’d have to mention it to Daniel since we’d both talk about girls we found attractive at the time, and I’m 5’10 with short hair and dress manlier then he does. I’ve never had to mention it to anyone, everyone just knew I was gay.
Daniel’s sister (I’ll call her Patti) befriended this insanely attractive girl we’d met. To make a long story short; she found me attractive too, we started FaceTiming as a group (X, Patti, and I) then late after Patti would sleep, X and I would spend the rest of the night talking. I was falling deeply in love.
X and myself weren’t secretive about our feelings for eachother. I think it’s important to mention she was the first I’ve ever gotten this far with. I began realizing Daniel was resentful towards X. Being really dry with her when she talked to him. Giving nasty faces, and just overall a very obvious way of showing he didn’t like her.
I on the other hand was drowning in her every chance I got, I guess you can say I started hanging with her more, which is normal when meeting a new potential lover but I should also say Daniel had his own friends he would hang with before and after X and I never had a problem with any of it. I befriended his friends too.
He started avoiding me, becoming dry, showing obvious signs of depression. He came to my house one night crying and opened up about how he feels lonely and wants a gf.
Later on I find out from a close friend that Daniel likes me. That he wanted to tell me but a majority of his friends were telling him I’m clearly gay. As well as one of my close friends telling him it too. He ended up telling me and I told him how I thought he knew I was into girls which I guess he was oblivious to, not sure how but he was.
Daniel and I stayed close for a bit but then he started to change. All he talked about was how he gets so much Pü$$y and acting like disrespecting girls is a fun hobby for him. At this point me and X were in a relationship. I mentioned to him how ugly he sounds talking like that, n how when he first got here and had his own personality instead of an adopted one he was better to be around.
We drifted and he’d call and text to check up on me thru out the year but nothing more than that. He worked with X and she had told me that he called her a good b*tch during some interaction. I texted him and very civilly said to not say that shi to her n that if he had any respect for me he would respect her despite his negative feelings towards her. He took it as me telling him to not talk to her and went about that telling X he’s “not allowed to talk to her” which I never said.
After that we rarely spoke at all. The other day one of his friends (someone I used to hang with) died in a very horrific/violent accident. It had been a year and a half since I spoke to Daniel atp. I called him and we spoke, he was obviously devastated and I texted him after letting him know I was here whenever he needed it.
I visited our friend’s grave today and saw him there. He didn’t speak to me or my friend or older sisters who were also good friends with him. We came home and FaceTimed him. We sat for an hour, we talked about our friend, what we’ve all been up to and laughed a bit for a good hour. After we hung up I texted him that it was good catching up and seeing him smile after all that’s happened and we started chatting from there. I basically told him that doesn’t matter what happened with us or how much time passed by, that we’ve known eachother long enough that we’re family by nature atp.
I would like to add that I saw him a few times in the no contact phase and he was completely distant. Except I realized something was off. I later found out he has a gf.
After some connecting of the dots. I realized she is manipulating him and taking control. He’s mentioned he cut everybody off and only talked to his gf when I saw him at Walmart some time ago. I went on his tiktok and every video is of her. Not even himself. I went on his insta that he just made and saw married in the bio. Then I saw her socials. On her tiktok she had a video about her ex, she also had nothing in her insta bio and then a video captioned something like she’d kill or run over any girl that tries talking to her bf (Daniel)
Not to mention he doesn’t even talk to my friend when he sees her and they were really good friends with no bad blood. My sister tried giving him a fist bump and he hesitated even tho he’d be the first to initiate when he saw us in public before.
Now you might not find this manipulative or controlling but hear this, while I was on FaceTime with him I mention seeing a vid of him and his gf on my tiktok to which he replied “I hate those videos” to which my friend asked why and he mentioned how his gf made him post them so that it’s known he’s with her. And she also made him create a whole new insta and put married in the bio. And he did it because he felt bad as to how she got cheated on before him. Which made no sense.
I didn’t pry because we hadn’t talked in a minute but I plan to be here for him more, because even tho I don’t know his gf I know that anyone that does that is never good in the long run & her requests will only get worse until she’s dug him in a hole deep enough where he feels like she’s the only one who can get him out since she’s slowly cutting himself off of everything except her. And after having his best friend die in the most brutal way, someone like that is the last thing he needs in his greiving and healing journey. And because I can also admit I miss having my best friend.
To those of you who have been in a toxic relationship, you can acknowledge these are beginning signs of one. To those of you who’ve never been in a toxic relationships, trust it only gets worse from there.
Even if we don’t get close, it’s enough knowing he’s not suffering more than he already is with his friends passing.
2024.05.15 07:27 SwimmingEmotion8564 Don't want to ruin a friendship
There's this friend (I'll call this friend A) of a friend (And I'll call this friend B) in my inner circle who seems to always have some sort of snide remark when I express my opinions, they always seem to need to find a reason why what I said was wrong or some sort of put-down to point out why my opinion doesn't matter. And I'm kinda getting sick of it and don't really want to interact with B as much the only problem is they've known A a lot longer then me and I don't want me avoiding B to ruin our friendship or to start drama with in the circle. I have no idea how I should handle this
submitted by SwimmingEmotion8564 to Advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 07:27 holisticlife5500 Airfare Secrets for Scoring the Cheapest Flights
"Golden rules" about buying cheap flights, like booking domestic flights 57 days before the departure date, are no longer valid, as there has been a huge shift in the travel industry in what days were thought the cheapest to booking flights. If a study has not been conducted recently, or only one year ago, do not put too much faith in it; there's no reason to worry about booking a flight far in advance. The stellar tips below are current.
Check airlines which don't appear on 3rd party websitesOne of the major weaknesses of Internet search engines is that they frequently will not display the flights of all airlines such as Southwest, Frontier, and Allegiant. To solve this problem, use a free resource like Wikipedia to learn which of these airlines operates a certain airport. Visit Wikipedia, go to their airport page, and search for a section called "Airlines and destinations." You are advised to locate a list of each airline that flies to that airport as well as all the nonstop destinations that airport operates. So, once you become aware of any carriers which did not show up in your first searches, you could now look for flights straight on the airlines' sites.Search one-way & round-trip flightsOnce upon a time the majority of round-trip flights were cheaper than booking two one-way airfare flights. That's no longer the situation today. For instance, Southwest and Jetblue set their prices for their flights on a one-way basis; and a round-trip flight is only the sum of the 2 one-way rates. So, you'll want to check one-way flight rates to ensure you buy the best round-trip deal by pairing two one-way flight tickets, probably on two different carriers.Look for one seat at a timeThere exists a virtually unknown quirk in how carriers price seats which could result in greater prices if searching for many passengers as opposed to a single ticket. Airlines put their inventory in fare classes, or called buckets, which are not always obviously visible to customers. For instance, there may be just three seats left in a fare bucket for $300 each, and the next higher bucket may be $400 for each ticket. But, if you happen to look for four seats, each one would end up falling into the $400 fare bucket.Search alternate airportsAt times the cost of a certain flight is extremely high that it could be a good idea to use your second or even third choice of airports. For instance, you perhaps are aware of the New York area's 3 biggest airports: New York-JFK, Newark (EWR), and New York-LaGuardia. But did you know that Stewart (SWF), Westchester (HPN), and Long Island McArthur (ISP) are also in the region? Several airlines permit you to look for all airports in a region by just specifying the destination as the city itself rather than a certain airport. The ITA Matrix tool is also a great way to look for close by if you do not know the area too well, and Google Flights offers a "Nearby airports" option to assist in this search, too.Don't always travel directBeing flexible with your route you'll be flying is another way to find a cheap flight. For instance, at times it's cheaper to travel to London and use a budget airline to Amsterdam instead of flying directly to Amsterdam from the actual departure city.To utilize this approach, learn how much it costs to fly directly to the target destination. Next, open Google Flights, type in the destination's details like country name to see the rates to nearby airports. If the difference happens to exceed $150 dollars, find out how much it actually is to fly from the 2nd airport to the main destination.Leverage elite statusAlthough having elite status will not allow you to book flights at a discount, you still could use it to save money another way. But with elite status with the majority of airlines let you to standby for earlier flights or perform same-day verified flight modifications. This can permit you to buy a discounted airline flight at an awful time, only to modify it to the flight you really want but at no extra charge. Even without elite status, the charge to standby or make a same-day verified flight modification might be less than the airfare difference between the flight you truly want and the lowest option that day.Use the correct credit cardThe right credit card may very well provide you major savings on flight tickets in a number of various ways. For instance, The Platinum Card from American Express now offers 5x points on all airline bookings made directly with the carrier or with Amex travel, worth 10 cents each dollar spent, based on TPG's recent valuations. That card in addition offers the International Airfare Program, providing cardholders discounts for premium class flights on certain airlines.Search for free hotels and stopover toursWhenever an airline imposes a lengthy layover because of its very tight schedule, the airline will usually offer a free STPC, or stopover paid by carrier, which can include a free tour or hotel room as well.
Don't mind the mythsThe initial and main fact to know whenever locating a cheap flight is there exists no magic trick for achieving this objective. There are however a ton of myths floating online about certain ways to seek cheap flights. Without doubt, you must have run into a lot of them while searching for the best flight deals.Airline companies use advanced technology like computers and pricing algorithms for determining flight prices and offer deals based on various factors like time of the year, weather, time of day, passenger demand, fuel prices, competitor prices, and others. These myths and similar ones will lead you astray. Be flexible in respect to your travel times & datesAirline flight rates vary a lot depending on upcoming holidays, day of the week, and time of the year. August is a major month for flying to Europe, and plenty of people are planning to travel somewhere hot during winter or fly while the kids are taking a break from school.In summation, if you're traveling when everyone is also flying, then logically your flight price will be higher.Flexibility is everything for cheap plane tickets & cheap flight dealsThe more flexible you are, you'll get better cheap flight deals you can book. Here's a new way of doing things: Instead of deciding where to go next, choosing dates, and then searching for the cheap plane tickets to certain destinations on those particular dates, consider first selecting your destination and dates based on the best going deals available. By exercising greater flexibility where you travel and the specific dates you fly, you will have a far better opportunity to find cheaper airfare.Book first, think later for cheap flight finder cancellationTake complete advantage of the free 24-hour cancellation window while purchasing flights. Because of the Department of Transportation's strict regulations, any cheap flight booked to or from the United States could be canceled without worry of incurring a penalty, for 24 hours after the flight's reservation; it must be booked no less than one week before the flight's departure. Yes, it's a very good idea to use a cheap flight finder these days. What this means is that if you buy a flight and the ticket price drops within 24 hour window, you could cancel the original flight and purchase the new, less expensive one.Warning: the 24-hour rule can only work for flights directly bought with the airline or with booking engines such as Priceline.Set a price alert for all cheap flight ticketsYou can choose emails or push notices to your cell phone which will tell you exactly when the flight you are interested in has increased or decreased in price. This may be a great way for getting the best possible price on all cheap flight tickets in the near future. You can do this on the majority of search travel sites and OTAs. Why miss out on potential easy savings? You can then always locate flight tickets cheap when you need them.Buy in foreign currency to get cheap flight ticketBecause regular fliers travel abroad now and then, you could switch the currency on the airline's website to determine if the price would be listed in other monies.You can save big this way. For example, if an airline increased the flight price in US dollars but not in Indian rupee, you could book flights at half the price! But this may require altering either the location or language on the airline's website; or you may change to the home country's URL, where ticket prices are generally cheapest by searching in its local currency. This is how you can in fact find cheap flight ticket to wherever you like to travel.Sign up for an airline's travel rewards credit card for cheap flight bookingOne of the smartest ways to take full advantage from travel credit cards is to use the hefty sign-up bonuses. For example, if you sign up for a new travel card when the airline is offering unusually high quantity of bonus miles, you could score yourself literally thousands of dollars worth of reward points by just opening the card.Although several of these travel cards could have higher annual fees, a big sign-up bonus may amount for months or even years worth of cheap flight booking for you and your whole family.The cheapest day to book flightsEven though you might see great deals flashing on your computer screen for international airfare three to six months out, if you are flying during peak times, or perhaps your plans are not very flexible, it's smart to begin searching sooner. The cheapest day to book flights actually evades many flyers.This does not automatically mean you ought to purchase tickets when hitting the 6-month window; hold on till you book cheap flights online. And, just ignore the old advice that travel experts often repeat regarding booking the cheapest flights at 3:00 a.m. on Tuesday; that used to be true but now airfare prices are updated often and great deals could pop up any given moment when least expected. So, now you can secure a flight cheap most of the time.Utilize momondo to book cheap flight air ticketsUpon finding what you imagine to be the cheapest flight wherever, try searching on Momondo; it will search dozens of OTAs; bear in mind that it may not display the cheapest fares seen on large OTAs and Google Flights. But you got a greater chance to find cheap air tickets sooner this way. Otherwise, only one cheap air ticket may be attained, if tried another manner. Now you too can enjoy when you book cheap flight tickets when you need them.Fly cheap during the low seasonHave you ever scanned flight prices from the USA to Europe's insanely popular cities in August? Surpassing quite easily $1000.00, they can frighten seasoned and expert travelers alike.But are those the same ticket prices in February? So, fly cheap from major hubs in USA to Europe, you could often locate roundtrip flights throughout the winter months for less than $400 or even $300!Fly basic economy for cheap air flightsA basic economy flight ticket could save you money, if you do not require checked luggage or advance seat selection. Pay only for what you need. In theory, you'll achieve cheap air flights via this option.Enroll in the airline's loyalty program for cheap airfareIf you fly one particular airline often, join its loyalty program in order to earn points each time you go anywhere. Then, you can redeem such points for upgrades or cheap airfare in the future. If you accumulate enough miles and achieve a considerable status with the airline, you might receive free upgrades. Now, you can take fuller advantage of cheap air fare whenever you require it.Skiplag to discover hidden-city cheap airfares & last minute flightsHidden-city ticketing happens by booking a flight to a place beyond your final destination, and then end your flight on the layover city. This could help you in getting cheap airfares as well as best last minute flights to most destinations. Think about it: can you imagine a better, more creative way to book cheap air fares while searching the Internet?Prolong your layovers for cheapest flight ticketsSometimes only by extending a layover a few days in another city in-between, you can score cheapest flight tickets to your original destination. In conclusion, more often than not, you'll usually find the cheapest flight ticket by following this method consistently. Why not? A lot of people are discovering that they are by accident getting the cheapest flight via the extended layovers.Don't overlook sales for cheapest flight bookingAirlines are frequently offering amazing deals which you may jump on fast enough and save yourself hundreds of dollars on your next flight. Sign up for your favorite airline's newsletter to be on top of their latest flight deals. This is yet another way to know about the cheapest flight booking that becomes available whenever.Focus on going across the ocean for cheap fly ticketsIf you are thinking to visit a distant location, it could be less expensive to book one ticket to the main hub, and then a second ticket from there to your final destination. For example, if you wish to fly to Alhambra, Spain, it's probably cheaper to book one roundtrip flight from your home to Madrid and a second roundtrip ticket from Madrid to Alhambra than it would be to buy a ticket to Alhambra on one itinerary. In essence, you'll end up with cheap fly tickets by following the above example.Don't overlook destinations with low cost carriers to get cheapest flightsCarriers such as Frontier, AirTran, and Southwest all drive down airfares along their routes. So, it may be quite wise to travel a bit longer to a larger airport with low-cost carriers, because even major carriers flights will most likely be cheaper. Using this method regularly, you are more likely to find the cheapest flights to most if not all your destinations. Why not take advantage of low cost flights whenever possible?Avoid Friday, Sunday flights, & traditional air travel daysThis may mean going away before and returning later than usual, or even flying exactly on the holiday. Pelletier, the air travel specialist, says you can save up to 50% by simply flying Christmas Eve or Day. She said: "We saved $300 per ticket around Thanksgiving for our family of four by flying out the Saturday before Thanksgiving and coming back the Saturday after. Not everyone can swing that with their work schedules, so my advice is to leave Thanksgiving day and return on Saturday for cheaper fares."Begin with a reputable flight search engine to find cheapest international flightsWhile searching for a flight, the initial thing you will wish to do is determine which airlines run a certain route and get an estimated price on the biggest carriers. Opposed to individually visiting all of these airlines' sites, begin by looking for a website which will provide results from many airlines and different combinations of carriers. You may end up with the cheapest international flights this way. So, you could start with Expedia or another such as Orbitz, Hotwire, Travelocity, and Cheap Tickets. Do not ignore Google Flights, which, though a very powerful search engine, know that it's not a booking platform and can't buy a flight ticket there. This is how you could find cheapest flights to many popular locations.Be flexible where you go to book discount flightsIf for some reason or another you cannot be flexible with the time factor of your flight, then try to be flexible with your destinations. It's ideal to be both. However, you still can save a lot of money and book discount flights by being flexible with either factor.You don't have to conduct manual searches, going city by city and day by day. Websites such as Google Flights, Skyscanner, and Momondo provide explore tools and permit you to add your nearest airport and see a world map with all the possible flights on it. This helps you to quickly compare many destinations with no need to brainstorm each potential option.Fly budget airlines/carriersMany years ago, you were generally stuck flying with traditional costly airlines. That's not true anymore. Budget airlines today service both short and medium-haul routes all over the world. For example, AirAsia provides incredible cheap flight deals around Australia and Asia for less than $150 dollars! Indian and Middle Eastern air carriers sell cheap flight tickets throughout Africa and the subcontinent.Book early: how to find the cheapest flightsYou can discover how to find the cheapest flights by booking early. Although flight rates continue climbing the nearer you get to departure, there exists a great spot along the way when airline companies start to reduce or increase flight prices based on demand. Do not wait till the last moment but do not book too far in advance. The ideal time to buy your flight ticket is about 2 to 3 months prior to your departure, or even about 5 months prior if you're flying there in their peak season.
submitted by holisticlife5500 to u/holisticlife5500 [link] [comments]
Check airlines which don't appear on 3rd party websitesOne of the major weaknesses of Internet search engines is that they frequently will not display the flights of all airlines such as Southwest, Frontier, and Allegiant. To solve this problem, use a free resource like Wikipedia to learn which of these airlines operates a certain airport. Visit Wikipedia, go to their airport page, and search for a section called "Airlines and destinations." You are advised to locate a list of each airline that flies to that airport as well as all the nonstop destinations that airport operates. So, once you become aware of any carriers which did not show up in your first searches, you could now look for flights straight on the airlines' sites.Search one-way & round-trip flightsOnce upon a time the majority of round-trip flights were cheaper than booking two one-way airfare flights. That's no longer the situation today. For instance, Southwest and Jetblue set their prices for their flights on a one-way basis; and a round-trip flight is only the sum of the 2 one-way rates. So, you'll want to check one-way flight rates to ensure you buy the best round-trip deal by pairing two one-way flight tickets, probably on two different carriers.Look for one seat at a timeThere exists a virtually unknown quirk in how carriers price seats which could result in greater prices if searching for many passengers as opposed to a single ticket. Airlines put their inventory in fare classes, or called buckets, which are not always obviously visible to customers. For instance, there may be just three seats left in a fare bucket for $300 each, and the next higher bucket may be $400 for each ticket. But, if you happen to look for four seats, each one would end up falling into the $400 fare bucket.Search alternate airportsAt times the cost of a certain flight is extremely high that it could be a good idea to use your second or even third choice of airports. For instance, you perhaps are aware of the New York area's 3 biggest airports: New York-JFK, Newark (EWR), and New York-LaGuardia. But did you know that Stewart (SWF), Westchester (HPN), and Long Island McArthur (ISP) are also in the region? Several airlines permit you to look for all airports in a region by just specifying the destination as the city itself rather than a certain airport. The ITA Matrix tool is also a great way to look for close by if you do not know the area too well, and Google Flights offers a "Nearby airports" option to assist in this search, too.Don't always travel directBeing flexible with your route you'll be flying is another way to find a cheap flight. For instance, at times it's cheaper to travel to London and use a budget airline to Amsterdam instead of flying directly to Amsterdam from the actual departure city.To utilize this approach, learn how much it costs to fly directly to the target destination. Next, open Google Flights, type in the destination's details like country name to see the rates to nearby airports. If the difference happens to exceed $150 dollars, find out how much it actually is to fly from the 2nd airport to the main destination.Leverage elite statusAlthough having elite status will not allow you to book flights at a discount, you still could use it to save money another way. But with elite status with the majority of airlines let you to standby for earlier flights or perform same-day verified flight modifications. This can permit you to buy a discounted airline flight at an awful time, only to modify it to the flight you really want but at no extra charge. Even without elite status, the charge to standby or make a same-day verified flight modification might be less than the airfare difference between the flight you truly want and the lowest option that day.Use the correct credit cardThe right credit card may very well provide you major savings on flight tickets in a number of various ways. For instance, The Platinum Card from American Express now offers 5x points on all airline bookings made directly with the carrier or with Amex travel, worth 10 cents each dollar spent, based on TPG's recent valuations. That card in addition offers the International Airfare Program, providing cardholders discounts for premium class flights on certain airlines.Search for free hotels and stopover toursWhenever an airline imposes a lengthy layover because of its very tight schedule, the airline will usually offer a free STPC, or stopover paid by carrier, which can include a free tour or hotel room as well.
Don't mind the mythsThe initial and main fact to know whenever locating a cheap flight is there exists no magic trick for achieving this objective. There are however a ton of myths floating online about certain ways to seek cheap flights. Without doubt, you must have run into a lot of them while searching for the best flight deals.Airline companies use advanced technology like computers and pricing algorithms for determining flight prices and offer deals based on various factors like time of the year, weather, time of day, passenger demand, fuel prices, competitor prices, and others. These myths and similar ones will lead you astray. Be flexible in respect to your travel times & datesAirline flight rates vary a lot depending on upcoming holidays, day of the week, and time of the year. August is a major month for flying to Europe, and plenty of people are planning to travel somewhere hot during winter or fly while the kids are taking a break from school.In summation, if you're traveling when everyone is also flying, then logically your flight price will be higher.Flexibility is everything for cheap plane tickets & cheap flight dealsThe more flexible you are, you'll get better cheap flight deals you can book. Here's a new way of doing things: Instead of deciding where to go next, choosing dates, and then searching for the cheap plane tickets to certain destinations on those particular dates, consider first selecting your destination and dates based on the best going deals available. By exercising greater flexibility where you travel and the specific dates you fly, you will have a far better opportunity to find cheaper airfare.Book first, think later for cheap flight finder cancellationTake complete advantage of the free 24-hour cancellation window while purchasing flights. Because of the Department of Transportation's strict regulations, any cheap flight booked to or from the United States could be canceled without worry of incurring a penalty, for 24 hours after the flight's reservation; it must be booked no less than one week before the flight's departure. Yes, it's a very good idea to use a cheap flight finder these days. What this means is that if you buy a flight and the ticket price drops within 24 hour window, you could cancel the original flight and purchase the new, less expensive one.Warning: the 24-hour rule can only work for flights directly bought with the airline or with booking engines such as Priceline.Set a price alert for all cheap flight ticketsYou can choose emails or push notices to your cell phone which will tell you exactly when the flight you are interested in has increased or decreased in price. This may be a great way for getting the best possible price on all cheap flight tickets in the near future. You can do this on the majority of search travel sites and OTAs. Why miss out on potential easy savings? You can then always locate flight tickets cheap when you need them.Buy in foreign currency to get cheap flight ticketBecause regular fliers travel abroad now and then, you could switch the currency on the airline's website to determine if the price would be listed in other monies.You can save big this way. For example, if an airline increased the flight price in US dollars but not in Indian rupee, you could book flights at half the price! But this may require altering either the location or language on the airline's website; or you may change to the home country's URL, where ticket prices are generally cheapest by searching in its local currency. This is how you can in fact find cheap flight ticket to wherever you like to travel.Sign up for an airline's travel rewards credit card for cheap flight bookingOne of the smartest ways to take full advantage from travel credit cards is to use the hefty sign-up bonuses. For example, if you sign up for a new travel card when the airline is offering unusually high quantity of bonus miles, you could score yourself literally thousands of dollars worth of reward points by just opening the card.Although several of these travel cards could have higher annual fees, a big sign-up bonus may amount for months or even years worth of cheap flight booking for you and your whole family.The cheapest day to book flightsEven though you might see great deals flashing on your computer screen for international airfare three to six months out, if you are flying during peak times, or perhaps your plans are not very flexible, it's smart to begin searching sooner. The cheapest day to book flights actually evades many flyers.This does not automatically mean you ought to purchase tickets when hitting the 6-month window; hold on till you book cheap flights online. And, just ignore the old advice that travel experts often repeat regarding booking the cheapest flights at 3:00 a.m. on Tuesday; that used to be true but now airfare prices are updated often and great deals could pop up any given moment when least expected. So, now you can secure a flight cheap most of the time.Utilize momondo to book cheap flight air ticketsUpon finding what you imagine to be the cheapest flight wherever, try searching on Momondo; it will search dozens of OTAs; bear in mind that it may not display the cheapest fares seen on large OTAs and Google Flights. But you got a greater chance to find cheap air tickets sooner this way. Otherwise, only one cheap air ticket may be attained, if tried another manner. Now you too can enjoy when you book cheap flight tickets when you need them.Fly cheap during the low seasonHave you ever scanned flight prices from the USA to Europe's insanely popular cities in August? Surpassing quite easily $1000.00, they can frighten seasoned and expert travelers alike.But are those the same ticket prices in February? So, fly cheap from major hubs in USA to Europe, you could often locate roundtrip flights throughout the winter months for less than $400 or even $300!Fly basic economy for cheap air flightsA basic economy flight ticket could save you money, if you do not require checked luggage or advance seat selection. Pay only for what you need. In theory, you'll achieve cheap air flights via this option.Enroll in the airline's loyalty program for cheap airfareIf you fly one particular airline often, join its loyalty program in order to earn points each time you go anywhere. Then, you can redeem such points for upgrades or cheap airfare in the future. If you accumulate enough miles and achieve a considerable status with the airline, you might receive free upgrades. Now, you can take fuller advantage of cheap air fare whenever you require it.Skiplag to discover hidden-city cheap airfares & last minute flightsHidden-city ticketing happens by booking a flight to a place beyond your final destination, and then end your flight on the layover city. This could help you in getting cheap airfares as well as best last minute flights to most destinations. Think about it: can you imagine a better, more creative way to book cheap air fares while searching the Internet?Prolong your layovers for cheapest flight ticketsSometimes only by extending a layover a few days in another city in-between, you can score cheapest flight tickets to your original destination. In conclusion, more often than not, you'll usually find the cheapest flight ticket by following this method consistently. Why not? A lot of people are discovering that they are by accident getting the cheapest flight via the extended layovers.Don't overlook sales for cheapest flight bookingAirlines are frequently offering amazing deals which you may jump on fast enough and save yourself hundreds of dollars on your next flight. Sign up for your favorite airline's newsletter to be on top of their latest flight deals. This is yet another way to know about the cheapest flight booking that becomes available whenever.Focus on going across the ocean for cheap fly ticketsIf you are thinking to visit a distant location, it could be less expensive to book one ticket to the main hub, and then a second ticket from there to your final destination. For example, if you wish to fly to Alhambra, Spain, it's probably cheaper to book one roundtrip flight from your home to Madrid and a second roundtrip ticket from Madrid to Alhambra than it would be to buy a ticket to Alhambra on one itinerary. In essence, you'll end up with cheap fly tickets by following the above example.Don't overlook destinations with low cost carriers to get cheapest flightsCarriers such as Frontier, AirTran, and Southwest all drive down airfares along their routes. So, it may be quite wise to travel a bit longer to a larger airport with low-cost carriers, because even major carriers flights will most likely be cheaper. Using this method regularly, you are more likely to find the cheapest flights to most if not all your destinations. Why not take advantage of low cost flights whenever possible?Avoid Friday, Sunday flights, & traditional air travel daysThis may mean going away before and returning later than usual, or even flying exactly on the holiday. Pelletier, the air travel specialist, says you can save up to 50% by simply flying Christmas Eve or Day. She said: "We saved $300 per ticket around Thanksgiving for our family of four by flying out the Saturday before Thanksgiving and coming back the Saturday after. Not everyone can swing that with their work schedules, so my advice is to leave Thanksgiving day and return on Saturday for cheaper fares."Begin with a reputable flight search engine to find cheapest international flightsWhile searching for a flight, the initial thing you will wish to do is determine which airlines run a certain route and get an estimated price on the biggest carriers. Opposed to individually visiting all of these airlines' sites, begin by looking for a website which will provide results from many airlines and different combinations of carriers. You may end up with the cheapest international flights this way. So, you could start with Expedia or another such as Orbitz, Hotwire, Travelocity, and Cheap Tickets. Do not ignore Google Flights, which, though a very powerful search engine, know that it's not a booking platform and can't buy a flight ticket there. This is how you could find cheapest flights to many popular locations.Be flexible where you go to book discount flightsIf for some reason or another you cannot be flexible with the time factor of your flight, then try to be flexible with your destinations. It's ideal to be both. However, you still can save a lot of money and book discount flights by being flexible with either factor.You don't have to conduct manual searches, going city by city and day by day. Websites such as Google Flights, Skyscanner, and Momondo provide explore tools and permit you to add your nearest airport and see a world map with all the possible flights on it. This helps you to quickly compare many destinations with no need to brainstorm each potential option.Fly budget airlines/carriersMany years ago, you were generally stuck flying with traditional costly airlines. That's not true anymore. Budget airlines today service both short and medium-haul routes all over the world. For example, AirAsia provides incredible cheap flight deals around Australia and Asia for less than $150 dollars! Indian and Middle Eastern air carriers sell cheap flight tickets throughout Africa and the subcontinent.Book early: how to find the cheapest flightsYou can discover how to find the cheapest flights by booking early. Although flight rates continue climbing the nearer you get to departure, there exists a great spot along the way when airline companies start to reduce or increase flight prices based on demand. Do not wait till the last moment but do not book too far in advance. The ideal time to buy your flight ticket is about 2 to 3 months prior to your departure, or even about 5 months prior if you're flying there in their peak season.
2024.05.15 07:27 PreviousDoor3202 Please help me manage my sensitive wife and overly-critical mother.
My wife and I recently welcomed our first daughter into the world and our plan was to buy a house with my mother in the near future. However, I’m beginning to second guess this plan.
For context: My wife is incredible. Sensitive, caring, and extremely kind. She’s the type that cares more about HOW something is said than what the content is. This is both her greatest asset and weakness in my mind.
My mother is tough, critical, and highly intelligent. She’s the opposite - tone and feelings are merely an obstacle to get to what is true. She also happens to be an early childhood specialist.
The issue is this: my mother simply cannot hold her tongue and will always find something to obsess about and criticize. My wife cannot handle this and takes her comments extremely personally. Now, while I believe in my heart that my mother has the best intentions in mind, it does not make her easy to deal with.
Our plan was to buy a house together (my mom, wife, and me) in which my mom could retire and have someone look after her as she begins her 70s. She could also help with childcare which we desperately need. However, after having our daughter, the criticisms strike a whole new cord. Her criticisms are much less tolerable and my wife gets her feelings hurt on a regular basis. Unfortunately I do not believe my mother is capable of holding her tongue and my wife will never toughen up enough to be able to handle it.
I don’t know what to do next. Without my mother’s help, my wife and I will struggle with childcare and also not be able to afford our own house. My mother will also have no stable living situation and will likely bounce around on her own (her and my father are divorced) until she can no longer care for herself.
It just feels like a lose-lose. Any help is welcome.
submitted by PreviousDoor3202 to Advice [link] [comments]
For context: My wife is incredible. Sensitive, caring, and extremely kind. She’s the type that cares more about HOW something is said than what the content is. This is both her greatest asset and weakness in my mind.
My mother is tough, critical, and highly intelligent. She’s the opposite - tone and feelings are merely an obstacle to get to what is true. She also happens to be an early childhood specialist.
The issue is this: my mother simply cannot hold her tongue and will always find something to obsess about and criticize. My wife cannot handle this and takes her comments extremely personally. Now, while I believe in my heart that my mother has the best intentions in mind, it does not make her easy to deal with.
Our plan was to buy a house together (my mom, wife, and me) in which my mom could retire and have someone look after her as she begins her 70s. She could also help with childcare which we desperately need. However, after having our daughter, the criticisms strike a whole new cord. Her criticisms are much less tolerable and my wife gets her feelings hurt on a regular basis. Unfortunately I do not believe my mother is capable of holding her tongue and my wife will never toughen up enough to be able to handle it.
I don’t know what to do next. Without my mother’s help, my wife and I will struggle with childcare and also not be able to afford our own house. My mother will also have no stable living situation and will likely bounce around on her own (her and my father are divorced) until she can no longer care for herself.
It just feels like a lose-lose. Any help is welcome.
2024.05.15 07:27 777verdi Feeling a bit like I'm a bad person (LONG post)
For context of who I am, I'm 18 years old and neurodivergent, my biggest struggles being like... emotional availability/connection. I have friends but there are specifically like, two or three people in my life right now who I consider beyond that. I call them my favorite people. I talk to them every once in a while, over the phone or text, but I don't see them often and (weirdly enough, hear me out) I see them the same way I see pets. I keep tabs on their problems, their favorite things, stuff like that, and I try and help them, but my brain categorizes them the same way I categorize my pets because I just love them that way. They give me the same feelings that I get when I see my cat, like, "So cute, let me take care of them!" even though I still do treat them as humans/people. I don't just baby or patronize them.
Anyway, I've always been emotionally distant from people. When I realized I was neurodivergent, I stopped trying to keep up with what "connection meters" I made up in my brain because that's what fried my battery. I don't like keeping up with people, or small talk, or connecting unless it's with my favorite people and I still TRY when people want a connection or conversation from me, but it's for their sake and never really mine. I don't hate people. I'm not a hateful and judgmental person, I try very hard to be open minded and accepting, but I am a generally antisocial person to begin with.
I've tried very hard to limit my connections because I know REALISTICALLY, I won't be able to care about people the way they want me to. A big community of friends is not something I can manage, I already see my favorite people very rarely but my love meter for them never goes down and they understand so it's not a big deal. But other people don't understand that. I care about them, logically, as humans. But I don't want to be their "rock," I don't want them to be mine, and I don't really care about what goes on in their lives and I don't want to share mine. I don't see a reason to. And it's not like I think they're worse than me, I think that they would benefit from befriending someone else. I just worry that I come off as arrogant.
I feel terrible the longer I think about it. I have spent so many years "faking" my connections with people until I realized I was being manipulative, even if my goal was to make them happy. So I try to limit my relationships. But I feel like I'm just seeming super rude.
I never really push people away, I don't interact with them to begin with. But the people in my "distant circle of friends," or people in any community I'm in, often try to connect. And I try to be kind and I will talk when they want to. But I realize that me not reaching out sends the wrong message, too, so I feel conflicted. I realize that maybe I AM being rude, or arrogant somehow, and I look up ways to fix it. But everything leads to different things like, "learning to connect" or "learning to X, Y, Z."
I know the basics of interacting with people. I've wiki-how'd that stuff basically every year. But there's that genuine barrier between me and people, not just "normal" people, just everyone in general. I'm already aromantic and asexual, so I don't really feel any need to be searching out romantic or sexual partners. But I also don't really feel the need for friends outside of my favorite people. I can get along with people, normally, but I never think, "Wow, I would love to be their friend, let me get their number." Which I feel is bad. I don't know.
I don't know if I've gotten off track or not, sorry if I did. But I've been thinking in circles for days now. I know I'm probably at fault here, I know it's not normal to be this disconnected from people. I feel bad about it. But for me, since there's no genuine urge for connection and there hasn't been forever, I feel like that makes it okay FOR ME. In my world. I just feel awful because I know that there are some people who try to connect, or want to, and I can't give that to them.
submitted by 777verdi to Vent [link] [comments]
Anyway, I've always been emotionally distant from people. When I realized I was neurodivergent, I stopped trying to keep up with what "connection meters" I made up in my brain because that's what fried my battery. I don't like keeping up with people, or small talk, or connecting unless it's with my favorite people and I still TRY when people want a connection or conversation from me, but it's for their sake and never really mine. I don't hate people. I'm not a hateful and judgmental person, I try very hard to be open minded and accepting, but I am a generally antisocial person to begin with.
I've tried very hard to limit my connections because I know REALISTICALLY, I won't be able to care about people the way they want me to. A big community of friends is not something I can manage, I already see my favorite people very rarely but my love meter for them never goes down and they understand so it's not a big deal. But other people don't understand that. I care about them, logically, as humans. But I don't want to be their "rock," I don't want them to be mine, and I don't really care about what goes on in their lives and I don't want to share mine. I don't see a reason to. And it's not like I think they're worse than me, I think that they would benefit from befriending someone else. I just worry that I come off as arrogant.
I feel terrible the longer I think about it. I have spent so many years "faking" my connections with people until I realized I was being manipulative, even if my goal was to make them happy. So I try to limit my relationships. But I feel like I'm just seeming super rude.
I never really push people away, I don't interact with them to begin with. But the people in my "distant circle of friends," or people in any community I'm in, often try to connect. And I try to be kind and I will talk when they want to. But I realize that me not reaching out sends the wrong message, too, so I feel conflicted. I realize that maybe I AM being rude, or arrogant somehow, and I look up ways to fix it. But everything leads to different things like, "learning to connect" or "learning to X, Y, Z."
I know the basics of interacting with people. I've wiki-how'd that stuff basically every year. But there's that genuine barrier between me and people, not just "normal" people, just everyone in general. I'm already aromantic and asexual, so I don't really feel any need to be searching out romantic or sexual partners. But I also don't really feel the need for friends outside of my favorite people. I can get along with people, normally, but I never think, "Wow, I would love to be their friend, let me get their number." Which I feel is bad. I don't know.
I don't know if I've gotten off track or not, sorry if I did. But I've been thinking in circles for days now. I know I'm probably at fault here, I know it's not normal to be this disconnected from people. I feel bad about it. But for me, since there's no genuine urge for connection and there hasn't been forever, I feel like that makes it okay FOR ME. In my world. I just feel awful because I know that there are some people who try to connect, or want to, and I can't give that to them.
2024.05.15 07:26 Sweet-Count2557 Best Things to Do in Montana
 | Best Things to Do in Montana Welcome to our guide to the best things to do in Montana!Get ready to embark on an incredible adventure as we explore the breathtaking landscapes, rich history, and thrilling outdoor activities that our beautiful state has to offer.From driving along iconic scenic routes like Going-to-the-Sun Road, to discovering the fascinating stories at museums like the Museum of the Rockies, there's something for everyone to enjoy.Join us as we uncover the hidden gems and create unforgettable memories in Montana. Let's go!Key TakeawaysMontana offers a variety of scenic drives, including Going-to-the-Sun Road and Beartooth Highway.Visitors can explore historical sites and museums such as Museum of the Rockies in Bozeman and Conrad Mansion in Kalispell.Wildlife enthusiasts can visit attractions like ZooMontana in Billings and Glacier National Park.Outdoor activities abound in Montana, with options like Big Sky Resort and Flathead Lake for adventure seekers.Scenic DrivesOne of the best things to do in Montana is to take scenic drives, as they allow us to appreciate the stunning beauty of the state. Montana offers a plethora of road trip routes that showcase breathtaking landscapes and must-see viewpoints.One of the most iconic drives in Montana is the Going-to-the-Sun Road in Glacier National Park. This 50-mile journey takes us through towering mountains, cascading waterfalls, and pristine alpine meadows. As we wind our way up to Logan Pass, we're rewarded with panoramic views of the park's rugged beauty.Another must-see scenic drive is the Beartooth Highway. This 68-mile stretch of road takes us through the Beartooth Mountains, offering jaw-dropping vistas at every turn. As we climb higher, we pass crystal-clear lakes, wildflower-filled meadows, and snow-capped peaks. The view from Beartooth Pass, at an elevation of over 10,000 feet, is simply awe-inspiring.No matter which road trip route we choose, Montana's scenic drives allow us to immerse ourselves in the freedom of the open road and the natural wonders that surround us. We can stop at various viewpoints along the way to capture photographs of the breathtaking landscapes and create lasting memories.Whether we're driving through Glacier National Park on the Going-to-the-Sun Road or exploring the Beartooth Highway's majestic beauty, Montana's scenic drives offer an escape into nature and a chance to witness the state's unparalleled landscapes. So, grab your map, hit the road, and get ready to be captivated by the beauty that Montana has to offer.Historical Sites and MuseumsWhat historical sites and museums can we visit in Montana?Montana is rich in history, and there are several fascinating historical sites and museums that allow visitors to delve into the state's past. Here are five must-visit destinations for history enthusiasts:Museum of the Rockies - Bozeman: This renowned museum offers a captivating journey through Montana's natural and cultural history. From dinosaur fossils to Native American artifacts, it showcases the diverse heritage of the region.Conrad Mansion - Kalispell: Step back in time and explore the opulent home of the Conrad family, one of Montana's most prominent early settlers. This beautifully preserved mansion offers a glimpse into the luxurious lifestyle of the late 19th century.Bannack State Park - Dillon: Wander through the ghost town of Bannack, Montana's first territorial capital. Explore the well-preserved buildings and imagine what life was like during the gold rush era.Virginia City: Take a stroll through this living ghost town, where the spirit of the Old West comes alive. Visit the historic buildings, museums, and even catch a live performance at the Virginia City Players Theatre.Montana Historical Society Museum: Located in the state capital of Helena, this museum houses a vast collection of artifacts and exhibits that document Montana's fascinating history. From Native American cultures to the Lewis and Clark expedition, it offers a comprehensive look at the state's past.Visiting these museums and historical sites in Montana provides a deeper understanding of the state's rich heritage and the people who shaped it. After immersing ourselves in history, it's time to explore the breathtaking wildlife and nature that Montana has to offer.Wildlife and NatureIf you're a nature enthusiast, you're in for a treat in Montana. The state is home to some incredible wildlife and natural wonders.From the National Bison Range, where you can spot these majestic creatures up close, to Glacier National Park, with its stunning mountain vistas and pristine lakes, and the soothing Yellowstone Hot Springs, there's no shortage of opportunities to immerse yourself in the beauty of the great outdoors.National Bison RangeWe highly recommend visiting the National Bison Range during your trip to Montana for an up-close experience with wildlife and nature. This incredible range isn't only home to a thriving population of bison but also serves as a vital conservation area.Here are five reasons why you should make a stop at the National Bison Range:Native American history: The range holds significant cultural importance to Native American tribes, who've a deep connection to the land and the bison that roam here.Conservation efforts: The National Bison Range plays a crucial role in the conservation of the American bison, ensuring their survival for future generations.Spectacular scenery: As you drive through the range, you'll be treated to breathtaking views of rolling prairies, majestic mountains, and shimmering lakes.Abundant wildlife: In addition to bison, you may spot elk, deer, pronghorn antelope, and a variety of bird species, making it a haven for wildlife enthusiasts.Outdoor activities: The range offers opportunities for hiking, wildlife photography, and scenic drives, allowing you to immerse yourself in the natural beauty of Montana.Glacier National ParkOne of the best things about Glacier National Park is the opportunity to witness wildlife in their natural habitat. The park is home to a diverse range of animals, including grizzly bears, moose, mountain goats, and bighorn sheep.Exploring the best hiking trails in Glacier National Park is a great way to spot these incredible creatures. Some popular trails that offer excellent wildlife viewing opportunities include the Highline Trail, Iceberg Lake Trail, and Grinnell Glacier Trail.In addition to the wildlife, Glacier National Park also boasts some of the best viewpoints in the region. From Logan Pass, visitors can take in breathtaking panoramic views of the surrounding mountains and glaciers. Other must-visit viewpoints include Avalanche Lake, Hidden Lake, and Many Glacier.Whether you're an avid hiker or simply enjoy immersing yourself in nature, Glacier National Park is a paradise for wildlife enthusiasts.Yellowstone Hot SpringsYellowstone Hot Springs is a beautiful destination for wildlife and nature enthusiasts. Nestled in the heart of Montana, this natural wonder offers a unique experience that combines the benefits of hot springs with the tranquility of the surrounding wilderness. Here are some reasons why Yellowstone Hot Springs should be on your must-visit list:Hot springs benefits: Soaking in the mineral-rich waters of Yellowstone Hot Springs can provide numerous health benefits, such as relieving muscle tension, improving blood circulation, and reducing stress.Wildlife sightings: As you relax in the warm waters, keep an eye out for the diverse wildlife that call this area home. From elk and bison to various bird species, you may have the chance to observe these magnificent creatures up close.Nature immersion: Surrounding Yellowstone Hot Springs is a breathtaking natural landscape, with lush forests, majestic mountains, and meandering streams. Take a moment to appreciate the beauty of nature and reconnect with the great outdoors.Hot springs relaxation techniques: Practice various relaxation techniques while enjoying the soothing waters, such as deep breathing, meditation, or simply letting go of your worries and embracing the present moment.Unforgettable experience: Yellowstone Hot Springs offers a unique opportunity to unwind, rejuvenate, and connect with nature in a way that will leave a lasting impression on your mind, body, and soul.Indulge in the natural wonders of Yellowstone Hot Springs and experience the ultimate relaxation and connection with wildlife and nature.Outdoor ActivitiesWhen it comes to outdoor activities in Montana, there's no shortage of options to explore.From hiking trails that wind through breathtaking landscapes to parks that offer scenic picnic spots, there's something for everyone to enjoy.Whether you're an avid hiker, a water sports enthusiast, or simply looking to spot some wildlife, Montana's outdoor activities won't disappoint.Hiking Trails and ParksWe love exploring the hiking trails and parks in Montana, as they offer breathtaking views and opportunities for outdoor adventure. Montana is home to some of the most stunning mountain peaks and viewpoints in the country.Whether you're hiking to the top of Granite Peak or enjoying the panoramic vistas from Highline Trail in Glacier National Park, the beauty of the landscape will leave you in awe.But the true magic lies in the hidden gems and lesser-known trails that can be found throughout the state. From the secluded beauty of the Anaconda Pintler Wilderness to the untouched wilderness of the Bob Marshall Wilderness, these trails offer a sense of freedom and serenity that can only be found in the great outdoors.Water Sports and BoatingOne of our favorite water activities in Montana is boating on the crystal-clear waters of Flathead Lake. With its stunning mountain backdrop and expansive shoreline, Flathead Lake provides the perfect setting for a day of fun on the water. Whether you prefer the thrill of water skiing or the tranquility of kayaking adventures, there is something for everyone to enjoy.To give you a better idea of the water sports and boating options available in Montana, here is a table highlighting some popular activities and locations:ActivityLocationDescriptionWater skiingFlathead LakeGlide across the water and feel the rush of speedKayakingWhitefish LakeExplore the calm waters and scenic surroundingsJet skiingCanyon Ferry LakeExperience the thrill of riding the wavesFishing chartersBighorn RiverCast your line and reel in a big catchNow that we've covered water sports and boating, let's move on to the next exciting topic: wildlife spotting opportunities.Wildlife Spotting OpportunitiesLet's explore the incredible wildlife spotting opportunities available for outdoor enthusiasts in Montana. With its vast wilderness and diverse ecosystems, Montana offers some of the best wildlife sanctuaries in the country. Here are five highlights that shouldn't be missed:Glacier National Park: Home to over 70 species of mammals, including grizzly bears, mountain goats, and elk, this park is a haven for wildlife enthusiasts.National Bison Range: Witness the majestic American bison roaming freely in their natural habitat.Yellowstone National Park: Famous for its geothermal wonders, this park is also a paradise for bird watchers, with over 300 species of birds to be spotted.Charles M. Russell National Wildlife Refuge: Explore this vast refuge and spot pronghorn antelope, bighorn sheep, and a variety of bird species.Lee Metcalf National Wildlife Refuge: This refuge is a haven for waterfowl, making it an ideal spot for bird watching.Grab your binoculars and immerse yourself in the beauty of Montana's wildlife!Family-Friendly AttractionsWhat are some family-friendly attractions in Montana?When it comes to keeping the whole family entertained, Montana has plenty to offer. From amusement parks to interactive exhibits, there's something for everyone to enjoy.One popular family-friendly attraction is A Carousel for Missoula, located in Missoula. This charming amusement park features a beautifully restored carousel that will delight both children and adults alike. With its intricately carved animals and vibrant colors, it's a true work of art.Another must-visit attraction is the Grizzly and Wolf Discovery Center in West Yellowstone. This unique facility allows visitors to observe these magnificent creatures up close in a safe and educational environment. Kids will love watching the playful antics of the bears and learning about their natural habitats.In addition to these attractions, Montana also offers a variety of interactive exhibits that are perfect for families. One such exhibit can be found at the Museum of the Rockies in Bozeman. Here, visitors can explore the world of dinosaurs through hands-on displays and interactive activities. From digging for fossils to examining dinosaur bones, it's a fun and educational experience for all ages.As you can see, Montana is full of family-friendly attractions that are sure to create lasting memories. From amusement parks to interactive exhibits, there's something for everyone to enjoy. After exploring these exciting attractions, it's time to cool off and enjoy some water activities.Water ActivitiesWe absolutely love the invigorating and refreshing water activities available in Montana. The state's abundant lakes and rivers provide the perfect playground for water enthusiasts. Whether you're a thrill-seeker or simply looking to relax and enjoy the beautiful scenery, Montana offers something for everyone.Here are five must-try water activities in Montana:Water skiing: Feel the rush as you glide across the sparkling waters of Montana's lakes. With plenty of space and calm conditions, it's the perfect place to try your hand at water skiing.Paddleboarding: Explore the serene beauty of Montana's lakes and rivers on a paddleboard. Whether you're a beginner or an experienced paddler, you'll love the peacefulness and freedom of gliding through the water.Kayaking: Get up close and personal with Montana's stunning landscapes as you navigate the state's rivers and lakes in a kayak. From gentle paddles to thrilling white-water adventures, there's a kayaking experience for every skill level.Fishing: Montana is renowned for its world-class fishing opportunities. Cast your line into one of the state's pristine lakes or rivers and try your luck at catching trout, salmon, or bass. Fishing in Montana isn't just a sport, it's a way of life.Swimming: Take a refreshing dip in the crystal-clear waters of Montana's lakes. With numerous swimming spots scattered throughout the state, you'll have no trouble finding a picturesque beach or secluded cove to relax and cool off.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre There Any Scenic Drives in Montana That Are Accessible Year-Round?Year-round scenic drives in Montana offer breathtaking views and endless adventure. With its diverse landscapes and natural beauty, Montana is a paradise for winter activities. From the iconic Going-to-the-Sun Road in Glacier National Park to the stunning Beartooth Highway, there are plenty of options to explore.Whether you crave snowy mountain vistas or picturesque valleys, these drives are accessible year-round and will leave you in awe of Montana's majestic scenery. Get ready to embark on an unforgettable journey through the winter wonderland of Montana.Are There Any Historical Sites or Museums in Montana That Focus Specifically on Native American Culture?There are several historical sites and museums in Montana that focus specifically on Native American culture.Some examples include the Museum of the Plains Indian, which showcases Native American art and artifacts, and the Museum of the Rockies, which features exhibitions on Native American history.Additionally, there are Native American festivals held throughout the state, providing opportunities to learn about and experience Native American culture firsthand.Montana also has Native American art galleries that display and sell traditional and contemporary Native American artwork.What Are Some Popular Outdoor Activities in Montana During the Winter Months?During the winter months in Montana, there are many popular outdoor activities to enjoy. Winter sports like skiing, snowboarding, and ice skating are common choices for adventure seekers.For those who prefer a more relaxed experience, snowshoeing is a fantastic option to explore the breathtaking winter landscapes.Whether you're gliding down the slopes or trekking through snowy trails, Montana offers a variety of exciting outdoor activities to make the most of the winter season.Are There Any Water Activities in Montana That Are Suitable for Young Children?Sure, there are plenty of water activities in Montana that are suitable for young children! We've amazing water parks where they can splash and play, and many places offer swimming lessons for kids.It's a great way for them to cool off and have fun during the summer months. Montana truly has something for everyone, and our water activities are no exception.Are There Any Family-Friendly Attractions in Montana That Offer Educational Experiences?There are several family-friendly attractions in Montana that offer educational experiences.Some options include educational zoos like ZooMontana in Billings and the Grizzly and Wolf Discovery Center.In terms of interactive science exhibits, the Museum of the Rockies is a great choice.These attractions provide an engaging and informative environment where children can learn while having fun.Montana offers a variety of educational experiences for families to enjoy together.ConclusionAnd so, our adventure through the wonders of Montana comes to a close. As we bid farewell to this treasure trove of excitement and exploration, we can't help but reflect on the countless memories we've made.From awe-inspiring scenic drives to captivating historical sites, from breathtaking encounters with wildlife to thrilling outdoor activities, Montana has truly left an indelible mark on our hearts.So, dear adventurers, until we meet again, keep exploring, keep seeking new horizons, and never stop embracing the spirit of adventure. Safe travels! submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 07:26 zxskittlesxz Wanted To Share
Hi, pretty long post, just want to share my story as reading all of yours has helped me these last few weeks, f(28). After Thanksgiving 2021, so early-mid December (I was 26 at the time), I somehow herniated a disc. Before this happened, literally right before, I was hurting with what I think was a pulled lower back muscle (hurt to sit and lay down but pain was only in my back right side and rest helped, something I dealt with several times in my life starting in like 7th grade, drs always said it was a pulled muscle). After about a week it was feeling better so I decided it was safe to roll onto my right side to sleep. Well, after that I started experiencing pain all down that side, I also had some tingling and slight numbness in my foot and ankle. It was bad enough that I wasn't comfortable for more than 20 minutes, standing was the least painful, lucky to sleep 3 hours at once even though I'd wake up in horrible pain, basically always in tears from the pain and discomfort. I went to the dr after a few weeks and was told it's sciatica and he referred me for an mri, gave me some kind of shots and ibuprofen. I don't remember what the shots were but they took away all of the pain for 8-10 hours and I was able to get some much needed sleep. One may have been toradol but I got a shot of it the day of my mri so laying on my back during the scan wasn't too uncomfortable, and it didn't help much.
About 2 months after my symptoms started, I finally got the mri and it showed a decent sized herniation. I don't remember exactly where it was in my low back, but I was then referred to a neurologist who evaluated me and suggested ESI, he was fairly certain it would get better on it's own and I wouldn't need surgery, he said it may or may not decrease in size as well. The ESI worked as far as I can tell, but at this point it had been about 3-4 months of healing on my own using heat, stretches, and ibuprofen and the pain was mostly gone, lingering around a 2 at it's worst, but 0 after the ESI. The tingling in my foot and ankle had gone away and I was slowly getting back to normal. Aside from the occasional leg muscle cramps and discomfort laying on my right side, I had been pain and symptom free for about 2 years. I went on vacation in June last year, we did a lot of walking and even a steep hike. I worked for a year and a half in a dispensary, on my feet a lot as well as bending, squatting or leaning down, lifting heavyish totes. I had no pain or symptoms from this. I was hopeful that it had healed up and I was going to be perfectly fine, but I was still mindful of my back. I quit working last year in September to go back to school, since then I had been generally sitting or laying most of the time doing homework, of course I still helped around the house and went out to do stuff. I just wasn't moving nearly as much as when I was working. I had also gone on a trip to Seattle in September where we walked almost everywhere. Again, no pain or symptoms.
That takes me to earlier this year, about late February or early March. I was doing alright, then I noticed my hips feeling a little sore, starting in the left then later on the right, like a toothache or a pinching feeling in the sides and sometimes front. I felt it most when laying on them at first. It also felt sore when I pressed certain areas on the side. It felt like my thighs or hips were a bit unstable, if that makes sense. I did stretches, no difference. One night, during a shower, I leaned down to move a bottle on the floor and felt a very slight twinge in my lower back. Still no back pain or symptoms down either leg though. I also had been randomly waking up with pain and stiffness in my right foot and ankle that would go away after walking on it. Naturally, all this scared me and I started sleeping only on my back with a pillow under my knees, no longer sitting cross-legged or with my legs tucked beside me on the couch, making sure I wasn't slouching and getting up every hour to walk for a few minutes, generally trying to take care of my back. I'm also sitting to get dressed right after most showers because of my hips and I'm nervous my legs will give out. I made a dr appointment early April and he suggested PT for my hips, he wasn't worried about my back or doing any imaging.
I started PT April 15th. She evaluated my hips, had me do some stretches (most were laying down with my knees bent, putting pressure on my low back, I'm wondering if this caused my situation) and gave me stretches to do at home 2x day, appointments 2x week for a month. I should also mention during her evaluation she pressed on my lower back and it sucked, no pain down my legs, just under her hand. The stretches helped my hips for the first week, then my lower back started getting stiff and sore when I would lay down for a few hours or more. I mentioned this to my PT, but she didn't say anything. I kept up with the stretches (on a thick mat on the floor at home, or on my bed) and my lower back slowly got worse each day. Finally, after about 4 PT appointments and 2 weeks of stretches I quit doing them. My back was in quite a bit of pain, I started occasionally getting tingling and slight numbness down both sides in my lower calves and feet (sometimes together, sometimes either side) and it was painful to lay and sit longer than an hour. Made another dr appointment, he suggested it was my muscles and told me to ice, take ibuprofen, and gave me Diclofenac 1% gel, assuring me that PT wouldn't likely cause or worsen a herniation. I was with a different PT for the next appointment and she tried a TENS machine with a heating pad for the pain after I did some stretches that didn't seem to bother my back. I didn't notice any difference. That same night I went to the ER because I got up from a nap and the tingling and numbness wouldn't go away so it scared me. They gave me a steroid shot, a steroid pack, a few T3's and 325mg Tylenols as well as an MRI referral. I don't know if the steroids helped or just the overall more aggressive and earlier treatment this time, but my pain and symptoms (despite being on both sides, not just the right side) aren't nearly as bad as the first time, yet. I'm still uncomfortable and having a horrible time, but it's been manageable. Hopefully I don't feel any worse after being off the steroids for a while. I finished them last Thursday (May 9th) and I've been taking the 325mg Tylenol as needed, making sure to take 2 before bed, I took all the T3's as needed. PT since has been focused on pain management, deep heat ultrasound, TENS machine and heat, also k-tape which seems to provide a small difference.
Yesterday morning (the 13th) I woke up to my back feeling a little stiff and sore but I'd been trying a few stretches the last couple days, maybe that's what's causing it so I'm gonna stop for now. I'm sleeping alright, thankfully, naps as I need or can. As my back has gotten better, my hips haven't. There's still a pinching toothache type of feeling in the sides and front and my thighs still feel unstable while I walk sometimes. I can't lean back on the couch, sitting in the car is uncomfortable so I keep the seat up straight, laying down I still feel pressure in my low back but it's been bearable enough to sleep so far. I haven't tried walking for longer than an hour at a time, slowly and carefully, it doesn't bother my back so much as it does my hips. I lay down for a break during the day if I need it, though I try not to lay down too much. I get up and walk around a bit every hour or so and I help with housework when I can. I use ice or heat for 15 min when I feel like it. I try to go to bed only when I know I'm sleepy so I don't just lay there. I sit outside in the Sun and try to distract myself from the pain the best I can by doing whatever. But lately, being up straight most of the day has been making my upper back a little sore and sometimes I feel what might be spasms along my back (a tense pain that goes away after a few seconds to minutes) and some cramping sensations in my legs.
My MRI is scheduled for the 20th, I'm hoping with all my heart that it's nothing horrible. I've been keeping a log of my symptoms and writing down questions for if I go back to the neurologist (which I would like to). Again, I apologize for the super long post, I just hope this helps someone feel less alone and scared. I know I've been feeling pretty awful the last three weeks, I can't imagine how you who have worse pain feel. I have so much anxiety and fear about this and all the possibilities and it makes everything so difficult. I'm 28, almost 29, and with luck, I have 50-60 years of living left and there's so much I want to do, without anxiety of injuring my back or being in constant pain. This is one of the scariest things I've ever gone through because it seems like it can get complicated really fast and really easy, no warning. I'm not giving up hope that I'll be alright, but it's hard when you get worn down through the day and feel so many different scary symptoms. Hopefully they make some kind of medical advancement in the disc herniation department that truly helps the pain or at least effectively reduces reinjury chances.
TLDR: Sharing my story, had a lower back disc herniation in Dec 2021 causing horrible sciatica all down right side. Had ESI a few months later even though pain was minimal at that point, got better and was generally pain and symptom free for about 2 years. Symptoms came back after a few weeks of PT for unexplained hip pain, this time it's effecting both sides. Been dealing with it for about 3 weeks now with various treatments, MRI scheduled for the 20th.
submitted by zxskittlesxz to backpain [link] [comments]
About 2 months after my symptoms started, I finally got the mri and it showed a decent sized herniation. I don't remember exactly where it was in my low back, but I was then referred to a neurologist who evaluated me and suggested ESI, he was fairly certain it would get better on it's own and I wouldn't need surgery, he said it may or may not decrease in size as well. The ESI worked as far as I can tell, but at this point it had been about 3-4 months of healing on my own using heat, stretches, and ibuprofen and the pain was mostly gone, lingering around a 2 at it's worst, but 0 after the ESI. The tingling in my foot and ankle had gone away and I was slowly getting back to normal. Aside from the occasional leg muscle cramps and discomfort laying on my right side, I had been pain and symptom free for about 2 years. I went on vacation in June last year, we did a lot of walking and even a steep hike. I worked for a year and a half in a dispensary, on my feet a lot as well as bending, squatting or leaning down, lifting heavyish totes. I had no pain or symptoms from this. I was hopeful that it had healed up and I was going to be perfectly fine, but I was still mindful of my back. I quit working last year in September to go back to school, since then I had been generally sitting or laying most of the time doing homework, of course I still helped around the house and went out to do stuff. I just wasn't moving nearly as much as when I was working. I had also gone on a trip to Seattle in September where we walked almost everywhere. Again, no pain or symptoms.
That takes me to earlier this year, about late February or early March. I was doing alright, then I noticed my hips feeling a little sore, starting in the left then later on the right, like a toothache or a pinching feeling in the sides and sometimes front. I felt it most when laying on them at first. It also felt sore when I pressed certain areas on the side. It felt like my thighs or hips were a bit unstable, if that makes sense. I did stretches, no difference. One night, during a shower, I leaned down to move a bottle on the floor and felt a very slight twinge in my lower back. Still no back pain or symptoms down either leg though. I also had been randomly waking up with pain and stiffness in my right foot and ankle that would go away after walking on it. Naturally, all this scared me and I started sleeping only on my back with a pillow under my knees, no longer sitting cross-legged or with my legs tucked beside me on the couch, making sure I wasn't slouching and getting up every hour to walk for a few minutes, generally trying to take care of my back. I'm also sitting to get dressed right after most showers because of my hips and I'm nervous my legs will give out. I made a dr appointment early April and he suggested PT for my hips, he wasn't worried about my back or doing any imaging.
I started PT April 15th. She evaluated my hips, had me do some stretches (most were laying down with my knees bent, putting pressure on my low back, I'm wondering if this caused my situation) and gave me stretches to do at home 2x day, appointments 2x week for a month. I should also mention during her evaluation she pressed on my lower back and it sucked, no pain down my legs, just under her hand. The stretches helped my hips for the first week, then my lower back started getting stiff and sore when I would lay down for a few hours or more. I mentioned this to my PT, but she didn't say anything. I kept up with the stretches (on a thick mat on the floor at home, or on my bed) and my lower back slowly got worse each day. Finally, after about 4 PT appointments and 2 weeks of stretches I quit doing them. My back was in quite a bit of pain, I started occasionally getting tingling and slight numbness down both sides in my lower calves and feet (sometimes together, sometimes either side) and it was painful to lay and sit longer than an hour. Made another dr appointment, he suggested it was my muscles and told me to ice, take ibuprofen, and gave me Diclofenac 1% gel, assuring me that PT wouldn't likely cause or worsen a herniation. I was with a different PT for the next appointment and she tried a TENS machine with a heating pad for the pain after I did some stretches that didn't seem to bother my back. I didn't notice any difference. That same night I went to the ER because I got up from a nap and the tingling and numbness wouldn't go away so it scared me. They gave me a steroid shot, a steroid pack, a few T3's and 325mg Tylenols as well as an MRI referral. I don't know if the steroids helped or just the overall more aggressive and earlier treatment this time, but my pain and symptoms (despite being on both sides, not just the right side) aren't nearly as bad as the first time, yet. I'm still uncomfortable and having a horrible time, but it's been manageable. Hopefully I don't feel any worse after being off the steroids for a while. I finished them last Thursday (May 9th) and I've been taking the 325mg Tylenol as needed, making sure to take 2 before bed, I took all the T3's as needed. PT since has been focused on pain management, deep heat ultrasound, TENS machine and heat, also k-tape which seems to provide a small difference.
Yesterday morning (the 13th) I woke up to my back feeling a little stiff and sore but I'd been trying a few stretches the last couple days, maybe that's what's causing it so I'm gonna stop for now. I'm sleeping alright, thankfully, naps as I need or can. As my back has gotten better, my hips haven't. There's still a pinching toothache type of feeling in the sides and front and my thighs still feel unstable while I walk sometimes. I can't lean back on the couch, sitting in the car is uncomfortable so I keep the seat up straight, laying down I still feel pressure in my low back but it's been bearable enough to sleep so far. I haven't tried walking for longer than an hour at a time, slowly and carefully, it doesn't bother my back so much as it does my hips. I lay down for a break during the day if I need it, though I try not to lay down too much. I get up and walk around a bit every hour or so and I help with housework when I can. I use ice or heat for 15 min when I feel like it. I try to go to bed only when I know I'm sleepy so I don't just lay there. I sit outside in the Sun and try to distract myself from the pain the best I can by doing whatever. But lately, being up straight most of the day has been making my upper back a little sore and sometimes I feel what might be spasms along my back (a tense pain that goes away after a few seconds to minutes) and some cramping sensations in my legs.
My MRI is scheduled for the 20th, I'm hoping with all my heart that it's nothing horrible. I've been keeping a log of my symptoms and writing down questions for if I go back to the neurologist (which I would like to). Again, I apologize for the super long post, I just hope this helps someone feel less alone and scared. I know I've been feeling pretty awful the last three weeks, I can't imagine how you who have worse pain feel. I have so much anxiety and fear about this and all the possibilities and it makes everything so difficult. I'm 28, almost 29, and with luck, I have 50-60 years of living left and there's so much I want to do, without anxiety of injuring my back or being in constant pain. This is one of the scariest things I've ever gone through because it seems like it can get complicated really fast and really easy, no warning. I'm not giving up hope that I'll be alright, but it's hard when you get worn down through the day and feel so many different scary symptoms. Hopefully they make some kind of medical advancement in the disc herniation department that truly helps the pain or at least effectively reduces reinjury chances.
TLDR: Sharing my story, had a lower back disc herniation in Dec 2021 causing horrible sciatica all down right side. Had ESI a few months later even though pain was minimal at that point, got better and was generally pain and symptom free for about 2 years. Symptoms came back after a few weeks of PT for unexplained hip pain, this time it's effecting both sides. Been dealing with it for about 3 weeks now with various treatments, MRI scheduled for the 20th.