Valentine craft ideas for my boyfriend

Long-ish post. Lots of detail.
I'm relatively new to the game, looking for some tips. I've been doing research on builds and sets the last few days (ranging from looking at build guides to reading old Reddit discussions about various sets) for my solo character, and I have some ideas, was looking to see if I'm on the right track, or if I need to reevaluate stuff.
First, some info:

• Stamina Nightblade
• Nord race
• Vampire (generally Stage 1)
• I prefer melee combat but am willing to put ranged on my back bar
• I have Mirri built as a healer
• My bars mostly follow Allcast's Stamblade group DPS setup, with some minor tweaks for my personal playstyle and some added healing

I know that's not optimal, but I enjoy it. My RP is as a Nord Vampire assassin, and I do a lot of criminal content, so the vampire is there to stay. As it's a solo build, and therefore hurts no one but me, I plan to work around the drawbacks rather than change race or remove vampirism.
I'm mostly looking for advice on sets, traits, and enchantments. I've purposefully excluded any dungeon or trial sets from my considerations (other than a monster set) as I'm trying to build my gear before trying to take on that sort of harder content.
Currently, this is what I'm considering:

• Battlefield Acrobat - dagger, dagger, battle-axe, ring, ring, necklace
  
  • Weapons: Absorb Health, Infused
  • Jewelry: Increase Physical Harm, Robust
• Ancient Dragonguard - heavy chest, medium legs, medium boots, medium gloves, light belt
  
  • Heavy Armor: Stamina, Reinforced
  • Medium Armor: Stamina, Infused
  • Light Armor: Stamina, Infused
• Iceheart - medium head, medium shoulder
  
  • Medium Armor: Stamina, Well-fitted
• Mundus - Thief
  

Reasons:
Battlefield Acrobat - I've been having some sustain issues, which is mostly my fault as I'm not very adept at my rotation yet, but I'm improving, however being a vampire definitely isn't helping that. This set would mitigate that, while also giving me some recovery, and (if old posts are still correct) reducing costs for other actions like breaking free. It doesn't seem to be widely used, but it seems like it would be good for my specific situation.
Ancient Dragonguard - To me, this set seems like it's designed for solo play. Comments said it's a good starter set, and it will add both survivability and damage. Because it's crafted, I can also capitalize on the variable weights to put the heavy on chest and light on belt. It seems like a perfect choice to me.
Iceheart: Comments about solo monster sets seemed to heavily point towards this one, and I think I can see why. It'll add both some damage and survivability, my only question is if damage shields can stack? Or would running this alongside Cleave (and morphs) be redundant?
Thief Stone: I was considering Shadow, for danage and survival, but unless I am mistaken Critical Healing cannot occur on HoTs, so I wouldn't get a ton of value out of the heal boost, so I'm going all in on damage for this one.
Thoughts? I think it's a relatively solid and easy to get starter build that I can use to farm better gear, will keep me alive as I get more proficient in my rotations, and overcomes some of the drawbacks of my roleplaying choices.
Happy to answer any questions.
Edit: Reformatted part as it didn't turn out the way I wanted visually.

I’m 18F and i’ve been getting UTIs since I was around 7. I’ve probably had 20+ in my life and i’ve only been on antibiotics once, other times I cleared them naturally and at some points they went away for a long time. I didn’t have any for a while until about a month ago when I started having symptoms (burning when urinating, discomfort in urinary tract and bladder). So I did what I usually do and tried to clear it at home. It went away for a week or two and came back with the same symptoms after clearing up for that short period.
Some background info first: I am hygienic. I wipe correctly, don’t use wash with fragrance down there, shower everyday, don’t keep my swimsuit on, ect. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and have been tested for STDS once last year and everything was negative (just in case i’m getting tested in 2 days). And when I was 15 I did urine and blood tests when I didn’t have a UTI and my doctor said my kidneys are slightly lower functioning that normal, I never found out why. So I went to urgent care 2 nights ago to get antibiotics immediately and they told me I do NOT have a urinary tract infection.
I have no other symptoms that could point to an STD and I’m so baffled that It’s not another UTI. I didn’t get the antibiotics and I’m waiting for Thursday to do the testing. I have literally no other symptoms and it feels like nothing but a regular UTI that’s lasted for way longer than usual. I looked into it and it seems like I may have painful bladder syndrome or something like that. any ideas?

I’m in an abusive relationship and I’m honestly scared for my life . My boyfriend and I started dating 5 years ago. It started off fine and then one day he found my old cell phone. He said he was looking for some pictures of us but saw screenshots of messages of my ex. Which made him go through my ex and I’s old messages. And saw that 6 years ago before we were officially a thing but were seeing each other that I was still seeing my ex. I was just getting to know him at the time. Regardless he took offense and accused me of cheating. He took my new phone from me said he was going to text my ex and tell him that he “could have me.”
I hadn’t spoken to the guy in about a year at that point. I tussled with him to get my phone back. He’s over a hundred lbs bigger than me . I ended up hitting his eye and he gave it back and he called the cops. He told them I didn’t live there and I was trespassing. The cops asked me to leave I decided to peacefully and as I was leaving. He then decided he was sorry and had this whole apology. I stayed because it was the dead of winter in Minnesota and I had nowhere to go really. My parents stopped talking to me over him. He isolated me from my friends. He was all I felt I had.
That was a while ago. He promised never to do anything like that again and I chose to believe him. It was going good again. I reconnected with friends and family And then he started doing little things that I looked over like not allowing me to go on vacation with my friends unless he could come too. Most of my friends are in relationships as well so they just asked their partners to come and it all worked out. Today , he did it . He put his hands on me. And it got bad.
Why? I fell asleep and didn’t want to get up to take a shower. I was already in bed. I was exhausted. He woke me up saying i needed a shower. I told him I’d shower in the morning. He said i had to shower right now. I said no. He picked me up and brought me to the bathroom and started ripping off my clothes. He falls asleep without showering all the time. But when it comes to me. I must shower before bed. It’s not the first time he did it. He did it once before and showered me himself. I felt dehumanized when he did it. I couldn’t stop him he can completely over power me.
Today I didn’t want that to happen so I fought his resistance and asked to be let go. He said if I don’t shower I have to sleep on the ground. I kept resisting. And he kept applying force. I thought I was going to die. Me resisting made him angry and he just started hitting me. My face is still pounding from the blows he said that he had to hit me because I wouldn’t stop resisting. My face is swollen And I cried saying there was never a need to do that in the first place. He said if I stopped “being dirty” then it wouldn’t have to get to this point. He then washed me up, dried me…He then had sex with me. It lasted about a hour. Once he finished up, he washed me up again and kissed me and told me to go to bed. If you’re wondering what happened while he showered me and then had sex with me. Idk I sort of froze. I remember him on top of me telling me he was going to put it in my butt. I hate anal. He did it and I was frozen there. I’m now realizing he raped me
I have no idea how I got here. I feel like I can’t leave . He’s holding so much over my head. I lost my job because of him. I have nothing . And I’m so scared. I’m scared to fall asleep. I feel like i can’t control my body. He just did all this and tomorrow he’s gonna ask me for breakfast, I’m gonna do it. He’s going to be all sweet and I’m gonna have my guard down and I’m going to brush away this situation . I always wondered how people get this kind of situation… I feel so useless. I don’t know what I’m holding on to . He’s convinced me that there’s nothing out there for me. Like I can see the wrong but, I feel like I can’t get up and leave. I tell myself I will but I’ve been here 5 years. Im hoping I make out without a pregnancy.

So Ive been trying to teach myself Spanish for a good while now and I would say i have a pretty decent grasp on the language, but I am having trouble following native speakers in conversation. My boyfriends family is from Mexico and have been encouraging me to learn as long as we’ve been together because most know little english to none. I can explain myself pretty well and its been pointed out by many that i have excellent pronunciation, however its usually followed by disappointment when I cant understand what they’re trying to say to me and the conversation always feels one sided. I don’t have the best vocabulary either but it happens even when i know the words they are saying my brain just wont follow the flow of the conversation. Ive listened to podcast, we listen to music in Spanish all the time and i have watched shows with subtitles and take notes when im studying, I could speak more with my boyfriend but i have the same problem. But just wondering if anyone else out there has a similar problem and most importantly any tips or tricks, ideas to overcome this. :)
Also want to add that i am A.D.D (no pun intended) and i feel it might be one reason why its been more difficult for me.

Sorry if the formatting is weird, I’m typing this out in my phone. Also, sorry if the story is all over the place, I’m not a very good writer.
I simplified it in the title, but it’s not her boyfriend. My (18F) friend (18F) has been talking to this guy (16M) for around 3 weeks. Recently, she’s been ignoring my calls and then texting me that she’s on the phone with him. I don’t have a problem with that, she’s allowed to call him obviously, but she’s literally always on the phone with him or hanging out with him. While it hasn’t gotten to be that big of a problem yet, I can see it continuing to happen as they keep talking.
Last Saturday, me and her had a senior photo shoot together for our grad party. Since me and her are both awful procrastinators, we put off choosing our outfits until the day before. I facetimed her that night and she declined it. She then, of course, texted me that she was on the phone with him. She basically begged me to just talk about it over text before I even replied. She wasn’t wrong, I was against doing it over text because it would be a lot harder to do. I told her I wasn’t going to do it over text because of that, and asked her to just call me for 5 minutes then call him back. She again told me no and begged me to just do it over text or if she could just call me later. It was almost 12am and I was about to go to bed, but I caved because I didn’t want to start an argument. It made me especially upset because she hung out with him that day for 4 hours, then was calling him even after that, and still couldn’t spare 5 minutes for me on something I told her we’d have to figure out days before.
Today, the reason I’m writing this post, she bailed on me and my other friend. Last week, we made plans to go shopping today and we never get to hangout due to our schedules never matching up. I confirmed plans around 12PM and just 2 hours later she cancelled. She said it was because she wanted to wait for her paycheck, but (and I know this is bad to do) I checked her location after she sent that text and she was at his house. Then tonight I tried to call her and she was on the phone with him.
I don’t know what to do. We’ve had an conversation in the past about me feeling left out and it led to her saying she felt “suffocated” because everyone always wanted to do things with her. But now she’s spending every moment she can with this guy and I can’t help but feel that she just doesn’t want to hangout with me. I want to talk to her about it but when I brought up feeling left out before, she made me feel so invalidated.
And I don’t want to make this seem like she’s an awful friend, she isn’t. She’s an amazing friend and she’s just terrible when it comes to managing relationships/friendships. She gets anxious and stressed out very easily, so I don’t want to cause drama by bringing this up to her. Because I haven’t been able to actually talk to her about it, I’ve been snarky (“Ohh you can’t hangout because you’re gonna be with your man” type of remarks) when she brings him up or declines my calls. I don’t want to act like this because I don’t want to be a bad friend, but I find myself doing it without even thinking. Does anyone have any ideas on how to bring this up to her? If not, any opinions on the situation? Am I overreacting?

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. A few months into the relationship he asked if I wanted to go to Europe because his family had a time share there that his parents were not going to use.
I didn’t want to go. I’m not really a huge fan of traveling. I like my little routine at home. So I expressed to him I was kind of hesitant about going.
He told me it was ridiculous that I didn’t want to go. He said “any normal couple would be thrilled to do this!” Basically called me a bad partner And asked me to give him a reason why I didn’t want to. I said I just wasn’t sure bc things like that cause me anxiety.
I ended up going (and so did his parents after all).
I had a fine time until we fought because an ex of mine called him on the phone at like 2am. I didn’t feel the need to tell him all about all my exes because I don’t think things like that concern him. Unfortunately this other person (the ex) is a bit insane and worked up my current boyfriend.
We fought about that and he brought up the fact he took me on this vacation and that he paid for it. I brought up the fact I didn’t want to go to begin with. This upset him even more. The conversation ended with him being upset about that and saying I had to make that up so I promised him I’d pay a trip for him. Another trip I didn’t actually want to go on.
The time comes and we’re on our trip. I asked him months in advanced to please come up with an itinerary or at least some ideas of things he will want to do at our destination. After like six months he has come up with nothing. The first day we’re walking around aimlessly and he asks what I want to do. This made me kind of mad and I said I wanted to do whatever he wanted to do because this is where he wanted to come. Then he got mad at me for that. Also I was upset because multiple times he did things that aren’t culturally acceptable here. The first time I tried to tell him maybe we shouldn’t do that he said he didn’t care because he’s a good person and that’s what matters.
I said that “it’s embarrassing to be around someone who blatantly disrespects the culture around us” and he got so upset he cried for several hours and ran away from in the city.
I feel like he’s trying to twist this onto me and we’re both too hard headed. I don’t know how to amend this

Ok so I'm a 15 year old freshman and she's a 15 year old sophomore. Our birthdays are split almost a year apart but at this moment we are the same age but she's in a higher grade. We've been toghether for 3 weeks now.
I got set up with her by my friends girlfriend who lives in a different country and she said this girl lives "name of where I live" and I was like damnn she lives close. So I was like slide her instagram I want to get to know her you know? And so I started talking with her and turns out she lives a few provinces out from me and moved(the other girl didn't know she moved as they aren't in close contact but ended on good terms). And so I tell the girl like shes a few provinces away from me what do I doo. And so she was like just get to know her if you end up liking her shoot your shot you have nothing to lose. And so I ended up doing just that.
Now I have my first ever girlfriend and she's so awesome. I think I asked her out a after week of talking to her like 12 hours a day straight we really hit it off. We had so many things to talk about and she showed interest to me and said sweet things to me which I've never been called. We video call, play games, talk until midnight, I have her phone number, and all her socials and she seems very loyal even willing to show me everybody in her snap list and ready to block any guy friend if I say the word(I didn't cuz I'm not an asshole).
But the thing with being so far away from her, I feel so limited with things I can do with her. Like I would like physical touch but that's out of the table. I play games with her, call her, flirt and listen to music and send tiktoks but that's it. What can I do to be a better boyfriend if I'm so far away? Is there any little date ideas I could do? Right now I'm thinking watching a movie on call would be fun but I need more ideas and more stuff we can do toghether.
Also I'm ready to get made fun of for never meeting her in person but that's fine. We both hope we can see each other in the future once we are out of highschool if our relationship lasts which I think it will. But to be honest. I've never felt so loved in my life even if I'm missing some important aspects of a relationship. Being with her even if you couldn't call it a real relationship, Ive gotten over my social anxiety, I've been more confident in my body, I feel more happy and just love every little thing in life.

I am at a hopeless rock bottom right now and it isn't making any sense to anyone, so I am going to try here. It is going to be a long one, so please bare with me.
I grew up in a family where love was limited and conditional, for myself and between my parents. I had watched my parents beg each other for the minimal respect, change, and genuine love. I had too begged for those things from them, in which I eventually developed this disorder.
I have struggled with the obsession of love/true love/soulmates my entire life. I have had countless favorite people, in which I would have given ANYTHING to be reciprocated the kind of love I was willing to give.
And in all of these endeavors, I acknowledged I do not love correctly. I realized this when I got out of my first relationship when I was 18. I have dedicated the last few years to unlearning these things. I still struggle with the want to control, the games I want to play, the general pull and push. I have been trying.
I have acknowledged that what I envisioned love in my head is wrong. Love isn't the constant fight for reassurance or the constant proving myself as worthy. It isn't the begging, fighting, or the challenge.
I have told myself for years, love is in the little things. Love is learning a song on the guitar cause they would love it, memorizing their order so you can surprise them, or bringing a jacket cause you know they would forget one. Love is the small laughs over inside jokes, the loud laughs over little fails, and the shared memories that were created on accident.
Love was supposed to be in the little things.
But over the last few months, I have been shown a dark side of it.
I was on a work trip.
One of my supervisors gave long speeches at dinner about his fiancé and how their wedding in June is going to be the best day of his life. That same night, we went out for a few drinks. He proceeded to send a few other girls and I messages about "spending the night with him." He went on the next day like it was a usual occurrence for him.
I was utterly disgusted. My gut sat in my stomach for days.
Another one of my supervisors on this trip did something some what similar. He is "happily" married to his wife of 17 years with young daughters. But as happy as this man is at home, he hit on every waitress, took up countless numbers, and would disappear for days at a time.
Again I was disgusted. I could've easily said this was the work of nasty people, but it got worse...
Once again, on this trip... one of my dear friends/coworker spoke about his plans to propose to his 5 year girlfriend. We were all beyond happy for him. But within the night, he made a closer relationship with another one of our close friends. He started confiding in her of his doubts, how he is not happy, and he doesn't know what else to do, but marry her anyway. He then dedicated the rest of this two week long work trip to his new found interest in his friend. He gave her a sweet little nick name, held her hand, and walked her to and from everywhere they went.
I was very dumbfounded by this information. I was under the impression that they were happy at home and that they had found something people prayed for, but I was wrong.
When I returned home, I received some also unsettling news.
One of my best friends found out she was pregnant by her boyfriend (who is a very very close friend of mine as well). I have known her boyfriend and his family for 10 years, they have been incredible and wonderful people to me and everyone I know. So for the last 7 months, I have watched them prepare for this baby. They are building a house together along with a life and family. She was so excited. But as of last week, she informed me of him entertaining random women online. She said he described it as a thing that didn't happen before and he did not know who she was.
But Saturday, her and I sat down and talked a lot about it. Turns out, he lied again. He had been seeing these women their ENTIRE relationship. They are having a baby and he is out there with "random women" who he has been seeing for years.
I thought I knew him better, but I am incredibly disappointed. This particular event has triggered me beyond belief. I had watched them do my healthier version of love for a long time, only to find out it was one sided.
I began to look at all the long term relationships that have been shown to me in my life. My parents, never have been happy. My aunt and uncle who have been together since they were 14, have one conversation a day about the coffee machine. My friends from high school, who went literal years of break ups and cheating to now hitting 6 years. My friends parents, who have cheated divorced and remarried several times. My other friends parents, who have been on the verge of divorce over small things several times. And now all of these...
I struggle with what is real and what is not. I struggle with trust, intimacy, and connection. But I have been trying to get better with the hope that one day I can be good to someone and they be good to me. I have never cared about money, a nice car, nor a large house. I want to love and be loved and raise a happy family in the healthiest way I can. All in the hopes that i can experience love in the little things, like how I imagined real love to look.
Now I don't know what love looks like. All of my ideas have been disproven. My dreams have been crushed. I am fighting the urge to recluse and regress in all of my efforts in vulnerability, but I am distraught.
I feel like love romantic love is not real anymore.
I am honestly taking this more towards men than women, because of my sexual orientation and just from personal trauma, but I know that I am not supposed to do that.
I am turning away from a connection I have been trying hard to sustain and be healthy in, all because I am triggered by the actions of other men, my fears, and my new found hopelessness in love.
And everyone I talk to says this quote I have heard a million times, "I know love exists because of the love I give." I understand that love is real, logically, but i want to experience it. I want to know what it feels like to love and be loved, equally and truly.
But is the pain and dishonesty truly worth it? Is it something I would have to put up with to experience long term?
How do I even begin to when given this example of modern day "commitment."
What do I do? Before I ruin the connection I am building. How do I let go of the fear of being hurt so I can learn to love?

We all know that villager trading is being shaken up, which seems to indicate that mojang didn’t love the way that villagers currently fit into the Minecraft experience. I personally like the changes as someone who thinks modern Minecraft has become to “farmed”. I understand why trading halls are the norm, but I think mojang would rather see a play through go in a different direction.
I brainstormed some ideas of ways to alter the trading system and would love to hear thoughts!
-Profession blocks cannot be crafted.
They are sold by villagers of that profession upon reaching master status. Alternatively, allow them to still be crafted but they need to first be “taught” the trade by a master interacting with the block before an unemployed villager can claim it. I think this would add an element of having to grow a village a bit more organically. Adds some difficulty. Exempt the farmecomposter from this system as it serves as the base level of a village.
-Add villages of varying sizes with levels of advancement.
The most common would be very small farming villages with 3-6 farmers and possibly 1 of the Smith class. Not a super valuable resource to the player but allows for some simple trading to take place.
Fishing/coastal villages could be similar with 3-6 fishermen and a smith. Update fishermen so they actually fish to feed the village.
Next most common would be a mid sized town, similar to what we have now. This town would have bigger structures and more housing, plus a few of the specialty structures. This would also have 6-10 farmers/fishermen as well 1 of each smith, and possibly a few of the leatherworkemason/fletcher.
Lastly, we have the cities. These would be much larger than the others with bigger buildings, nicer construction, and possibly walls. The cities would house many farmers/fishermen, multiple of each skilled trade, and at least one of the “educated” class (librarian, cartographer, cleric). These are truly the centers of the village experience but are somewhat rare. Based on my first point, cities would be the only way to access the educated class of villagers, but they can be transported anywhere to unlock other professions once you have them.
One last thought. Update the trades for some of the professions to make more sense. Why do farmers buy crops? They should sell crops, and buy almost nothing. Smiths should still buy resources but buff the trades so it’s worth doing. Add a “trader” that buys commodities.
Anyway this got long, thank you for reading if you did. Again these are early concepts, so let me know what you think!

i dont really know how to describe the horrible relationship i have with school and how much i regret pouring in so much of my heart to it to recieve nothing in return. school has always been so incredibly draining for me and competitive and i fucking hate how it just consumes my whole life. i dont regret getting my degree, i just immensely regret how much of my life i felt like i put on hold because of it- and i have been doing it since middle school.
i was placed in a advanced program that was taking classes two years ahead of grade level and it was such a massive turning point for me because i started basing my whole worth and personality on it. which i know is entirely my fault, but i feel as though it was just sort of engraved into my head. i feel like i always had to be the best and top of the class and it just made me incredibly depressed. i was super suicidal (which maybe everyone was back then), but i still continued doing it because i felt so unworthy without it. i grew up with a twin who was vastly different and didn’t grow up with the same pressure, and i notice it ALL the fucking time and how it sort of crafted the people we became and just how betrayed i feel by everybody who kind of fed into this for me and pushed me to continue doing it.
flash forward a little bit, carried the habits on to high school and barely gave myself a moment to breathe because now i had a reputation to keep up with- except this time i needed to pack on more. it wasn’t just school now, it was music, arts, sports…
my grandma started doing poorly and im so fucking upset with myself that toward the end of her life, when she was in the hospital, i was doing fucking homework instead of talking to her and being with her.
flash forward to the fucking HELL my undergrad was, i fucking hated myself and on top of it kept pushing. nothing was sort of enough to fill what i would say was instilled in me, and again had no time to really develop myself as a person- i was so career oriented and just idk an absolute mess because of how much i feel like i put on hold to focus on school.
my dad started doing poorly… i often just ignored his calls because i was so overwhelmed with school to even step out of the black hole i was in and i didnt want any distractions- i remember he called once while i was studying (i had no idea he wasn’t doing well) and we talked about calculus and he was just trying so hard to relate to me and find something to talk about and i just wrote it off and remember wanting to hurry up the conversation so i could get back to preparing for an exam and that KILLS me and i hope he didnt notice or that he at least understood. about a week later, he called again and i didnt respond because i was so busy with everything going on and he left a voicemail. i listened to the voicemail later that night and it wasnt really any words, kind of like he forgot to hang up the phone. my dad had a bit of a drinking problem and i hate that UGH idk i never said anything about it or like talked to him more. anyway, a couple days go by and im at the library studying for a really important exam and my mom calls- i dont answer- she texts me that it’s important and i have the BIGGEST pit in my stomach at this point. i finally answer and she tells me that my dad is in the hospital and they dont think hes going to make it. i remember literally every detail of who was around me and their reaction to me just bursting into tears and rushing out of the library. like it fucking absolutely broke me and i never got to speak to him again and have this voicemail with no words.
i just feel like school has been such a negative experience for me and i hate who i was and who i am with it. i hate pieces of my life it took away from me and inspired me not to have. i took a WEEK off of school and one of my professors still made me submit homework- and i did it. WHY DID I JUST WASTE SO MUCH TIME DOING THINGS THAT DONT FUCKING MATTER. idk im just so upset with how i balanced my life and i really didnt know any other way- it was how i grew up and how the pressure was distributed.
anyway, here i am in a graduate program because i dont know how the fuck to stop and am at a point where im waiting for this all to be worth it- maybe i land a really good job that makes me feel like the sacrifice was worth it, maybe i could buy my mom a house or shoot for financial freedom. i am so unbelievably tired and still so goddamn unhappy, but dont do anything about it and feel so stuck and caught up in the current. have been and will be and i honestly feel like im never going to be happy or just forgive myself. i feel like i fucked up so terribly and theres so much more to it and all of it is meaningless to me.
anyway, i just really needed to vent and am just really hurt

Title can be seen as TLDR.
Hello everyone,
Disclaimer: im a new player and this may lead to, me doing stupid things, such as probably this what I'm about to tell you.
I play gw2 for around a month now, and I figured getting ascended gear would be a neat upgrade to my character, since I kinda enjoy fractals and over time this gear would have been a needed step anyways.
After research on YouTube and google I found plenty of methods to get ascended gear, but all seemed to require a full/partly playthrough of storys, many content bound resources (like wvw /PvP/fractal vendors) , map resource grinds over a few days etc. So I figured crafting the armor would be my way to go, because I tend to be very impatient when I got an idea in my head 😂.
Here is what happens: I found a guide on how to level from 0-400 and then from 400-500.
So far so good, ~70g and 2h later I can now call myself a grandmaster of armor smithing.
The reality check Immediately kicked in, as I realized, I haven't wasted one single thought about the process of crafting the desired armor and the materials needed. I quickly checked on how to do it and was baffled. The amount of materials, recepies and gold I need to craft a full set of Zojja's armor for my warrior suddenly turned from a quicky into a long term project (which I'm still kinda okay with, but didn't was what I have planned).
So, here is what I need you to tell me, is Armorsmithing useful for anything except burning gold? 😅
And how do I get ascended armor in Soto? Since this is the only story I have played through so far (to get the skyscale).
Thanks in advance, have a good day.

Context I Avery 19 year old female and Lucy (Not her real name) 18 year old female have been friends for a year. I am a grade above her and we are in the same fine art activity. We are both on the colorguard team at my school.
Our team isn’t necessarily good, but we aren’t bad. (To the people who know Scholastic AA). For some reason Lucy is obsessed with the idea she looks like me. All because of a comment someone made to her. They walked up to her thinking it was me from a far. She has made it her life mission to make herself me.
She was a primary flag on my team and I am a primary rifle. Since I am a senior in school I’m not getting ready for next season. However, my director is making all members who have done at least one season try rifle. Lucy was excited to try rifle saying she can be like me. I thought this was sweet cause she looked up to me, but I was very wrong.
Lucy happened to be really good at rifle. Nothing against her she’s a great person to have on the team, but her ego has gone way up. She’s been making fun of people who drop their rifle or use the wrong technique and she always comes in for reassurance saying things like “Right Avery she needs to slow down her toss or right Avery she needs to put her left hand completely to the side.” It puts me in a position that makes me uncomfortable and i’ve told her to stop.
Lately she’s been dressing like me. She always used to wear a Tee shirt, shorts, and her hair down to rehearsal, but lately she’s been wearing Sports bras, leggings, and pulls her hair into a braid. Just like me. She used to march around saying she hates the color pink (She’s a major tom boy), but now she wears it saying it suits her. She even bought my perfume. I thought it was weird, but I didn’t say anything cause I’ll be gone within a week anyways because of Graduation.
She was starting to really piss me off when she would make comments like “Avery look we both have a pimple on our cheek.” I’m extremely insecure about acne. She knows this. She would say things like “our cycles are synced it’s like our bodies are the same person.” “We’re both on our 15th set of invisalign. Our teeth are getting straighter together.”
Yesterday I was getting ready for a banquet with Lucy and some other girls from the team. It’s all fun and games till Lucy pulls out almost the exact same dress as me. There is no way she wasn’t trying to copy. I was going for a Audrey Hepburn look with a black dress, gloves, pearls, and Prada sunglasses. Lucy pulls out a shorter black dress, gloves, pearls, black sunglasses. She then exclaimed “Omg twin we’re gonna look so good. It’s almost like great minds think alike or something. People won’t even be able to tell us apart.”
I was livid to say the least. She knew I had been planing on that outfit since last banquet. I let it go it was my senior banquet it was fine. I take photos with everyone and she’s doing her thing when she puts her arm around my boyfriend’s shoulder. I immediately stand up from our banquet table and grab her arm swinging it off him. She said “Sorry I thought it would be a cute picture cause he’s dressed to match us.” I cut her off and said “No Lucy he’s dressed to match me. I’m not sure what you think your doing wanting to become me and comparing yourself to me, but it needs to stop.” She then rolls her eyes and slumps in her chair. She mumbled under her breath “I don’t look like you. You look like me. Get it right. You’re so obsessed.”
I started to yell at her “You don’t look like me. Not even a little bit. Your eyes are blue and mine are green. Your hair is brown while mine is blonde. Your nose slopes down and mine slopes up at the end. Your chin is slightly pointed and my sticks out. My eyes are almond while yours are hooded. I’m 5’11 and you’re 5’3. Your boobs are bigger than mine. My feet are bigger than yours. We do not look alike.”
At this point everyone is looking at us. Most people know what i’m getting at cause they asked me days ago why she was copying me. Lucy starts to cry called me some names and ran off. I cut the night short and went home. I told my mom in the morning and she told me I should’ve let Lucy live out her fantasy for a week till I graduate. A couple of friends of Lucy have texted me and called me an Asshole. But I don’t think I am.
Am I the Asshole?

Social Media and smartphones are warping how we see the real world and our reality is losing nuance rapidly.
Take the man or bear debate as a recent example. The whole premise is unhelpful and based on a glaring falsehood. It's like a 13-year-old's first essay on a topic they know next to nothing about. I'm pretty sure actual survivors of sexual abuse don't give a single damn about this "dilemma". They have real issues to deal with that those of us who are engaging in this discourse have the privilege of not having to deal with. All this fad is doing is spread the paranoid notion that there are male predators waiting around every other corner. How is that helping survivors of abuse with real trauma and fears that they carry with them in public places on a daily basis? It is absolutely not a show of solidarity to those who have actually suffered, yet people do genuinely believe they are "raising awareness", or "taking a stand".
I mean it's a far-less improbable yet ironic scenario to imagine someone walking the dim city streets at night alone with their necks bent square over their smartphones, going round corners oblivious to their surroundings while texting "I'll take the bear lol". Those same people will say they're afraid to walk alone at night and they yeard for the bear. I made that scenario up, but I've literally seen people bumping into walls and into other people in a smart phone-induced trance and just continuing like nothing happened and I've also seen people gleefully (not ruefully) opt for "the bear". What I mean is a lot of people are claiming to be terrified when they're not.
Like with the Tik-tok trend that's been dangerously telling people they have "high-functioning anxiety" without professional diagnoses, where if everyone is mentally ill then no one is mentally ill¹, it also stands to reason that if everyone is afraid, then no one is afraid. It's a dangerous way of "showing solidarity" to let pervade through society. I'm no Jordan Peterson fan, but this is a good example of the dangers of fake solidarity*. It's not just fake; it's damaging.
The whole bear vs man thing just seems to polarise people into two camps who perceive the other either as man-haters or rape-apologists. But you know what? it's not even close to being real and does absolutely nothing to bring people of differing views any closer to understanding each other. I also 100% guarantee you that those who "choose the bear" don't actually practise what they preach in their lives to even the slightest degree. One example I witnessed was at a recent social occasion where a female high school teacher whom I know quite well told her boyfriend and father to ask her if she was alone in the woods, what she would prefer... Before she even said the words "bear", or "man", I knew where where we were heading and intuitively knew what her answer was going to be.
It wasn't a debate from the very beginning. It was more like a joke - a weird joke about sexual assault told in the first person. Before she'd even got to her supposedly mind-blowing punchline (which was, in case you're a bit late to this party, "I'd choose the bear because the bear won't rape me!"), everyone seemed to know what it was going to be. Given the expectant grin on her face when she said these impactful words, It didn't turn out to be the “gotcha” she thought it was going to be. This was quite an awkward experience. I can only guess that the "gotcha" aimed at the men in the room was supposed to educate them to be ashamed to be male on the spot. It didn’t. I explained why I thought the whole thing was flawed and I was informed I needed to lighten up. I was definitely mistaken in thinking that it was a chance to talk philosophy (is it ever these days?), but perpetuating the idea that "male rapists are everywhere" while simultaneously trivialising real suffering of abuse goes completely unchecked because when we engage in this form of discourse we reduce ourselves to vacuous, infantile creatures who ironically think they're acting like fully-developed adults. Rape is light-hearted; yet - and this is where the cognitive disonance gets really odd - you're either standing up for it or you're standing up against it, but no matter what side you're on, it's funny. Instead of thinking, "why is she grinning?!", we're thinking, "what side am I on and how can I also somehow make it funny?". When in reality, it's surface-level shock-value statements with zero nuance that we allow to insincerely represent us (the wide-grinning rape denouncer doesn't practise what she preaches: she isn't a raging man-hater; she's a decent person, but for some reason, she's adopted an inane comic-strip view on something as serious as rape - and incredibly, it's all in the defence of victims!).
And this way of engaging in discourse is everywhere. On Reddit, Facebook, Twitter etc., the finger-pointing and artificial coralling of all of us into fake dualities of misogynist vs virgin-for-life simp, misandrist vs patriachy-enabler, racist vs communist and many others are rife and it's finding its way into real-life discourse at the dinner table, the classroom and the office.
If we artificially and insincerely self-separate into these 1s and 0s, are we making it easier for the A.I. on our devices to "understand" us, classify us, manipulate us and ultimately annihilate us?
OK, maybe I went too far there, but is this jarring lack of nuance really the only way we want to "talk about" serious topics now? Is it only going to get worse? I feel like it wasn't long ago you could have real discussions about issues, but this art is dying - and rapidly. You can probably sense my frustration at how society is organising itself right now and I'd love to know if anyone has any suggestions on what we can do to encourage healthy conversations and debate with each other. Maybe I'm the problem. I used to be surrounded by people who took part in stimulating, nuanced debate and now I'm not. We used to tolerate different viewpoints and we didn't confront and "block" each other on a hair-trigger. Maybe I'm old and the kids are actually all right. Let me know.
¹ ~https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5MCw8446gs&ab_channel=TheNewYorkTimes~
*I couldn't find a good quote for this, but similarly, he terms it "narcissistic compassion"

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
How do I mend this relationship between my wife and my mother?

I'm visiting my bestie in a few weeks and will meet her mother for the first time. I really want to make a great first impression. She's a very devout Catholic woman in her early 70s. She's a sweet lady, but I don't know much about her personal tastes. They're an Italian-American family from Connecticut. I have been looking for vintage/antique things and Catholic memorabilia, and I may just end up croqueting a blanket as a gift. Any ideas where to start?
(I also want to avoid getting her rosaries since my bestie's boyfriend usually gives them to her.)

Genuinely I was concerned about Chloe the whole time. From the moment I picked her up she seemed like she was annoyed and didn’t really want to be there. I knew she was tired and needed food, she gets visibly hangry. When we went out later that night, I could feel her being closed off not really engaging with us. She is recently sober again but the plan was always to go out. My other friend Lia who came to visit and I would have some drinks and I would introduce them to friends I’ve made in town saying goodbye to them. I understood that may have been triggering and hard for her. So I didn’t push her to be energetic and gave her space to feel her feelings. By the time we went to see my bf at his work she was checking her boyfriend’s location and saying she felt like he was lying to her about what he was doing. He didn’t answer her call so I figured that would be a thing for the rest of the night as she doesn’t let things go like that. I thought she was worrying about him since that’s the only thing she mentioned. I wanted to distract her from that, get her to dance, and asked my local friend Izzy to help me get her out of her head. I was asking Lia how she was cause she was hardly engaging with me. Lia said she’s okay there’s just a lot going on. I knew she wasn’t having a fantastic time but I thought she was trying to or would tell me she’s not. I thought she was out on the phone with her bf when I didn’t see her. I wish she would’ve used her words to tell me how she was feeling instead of her demeanor. If she wanted to leave I would’ve said of course. I was anxious since the moment she asked for my keys. I was like what for? She said she just wanted to sit in my car. I tried to ask her what was going on but she was already on the way out. Again I assumed it was her mood in general and her bf cause never said anything else to me. She was mad at me for doing something I didn’t know she thought I was doing. She is a grown woman who can advocate for herself and what she needs. She was mad at me for not focusing on her. She can tell me what’s bothering her. We were supposed to be celebrating a huge accomplishment in my life and it feels like she made herself the center of attention. I may have been a little selfish to want to enjoy our time and try to distract Chloe from what was bothering her instead of confronting her. But she didn’t seem to want to talk about it.
I wanted to go to a certain bar solely because Ben and his sister were there. I told Ben that Chloe would be in town and he said he and his sister were super excited to see her. I figured she would like to see a friendly face but she said she didn’t care to see him. Ben and his sister love her and since she didn’t want to speak to them I did.
I was very hurt by her words and how she was avoiding everyone all day after my graduation ceremony. Even after I graduated I didn’t really hear her say a word. My mom just told me she wasn’t even sitting with my family and other friend at the ceremony. She had left and gone somewhere else and never came back to her seat. No wonder I felt anxious instead of happy at my own graduation. I would have loved to spend time with her but she didn’t seem to want to or talk to me. I didn’t really want to be around her after feeling her anger towards me. So I didn’t push her, she could come to me when she was ready. I can’t be responsible for her happiness. I can’t read her mind or know what she’s feeling if she doesn’t make it clear. I’m not used to having to prod people for answers. If I feel something I’ll say it.
I only went out on Saturday for two hours after dinner because Lia said I should enjoy my last night here. She asked me if I was going to and I said I didn’t want to just leave you at my house. Chloe said she was going to nap and Lia said she wanted to relax and get ready to leave. If I had stayed I would’ve just been sitting on the floor of my room. She said I should go and I was encouraged to enjoy myself but I promised to come back when the ride was arriving. I did so to make sure they got their ride and if they didn’t show I would’ve driven them down to the airport myself. I wanted to say goodbye and thank them for supporting me on an important day in my life. I suppose I shouldn’t have came back. Maybe that blow up could have been avoided, if I didn’t come back when no one was getting back to me after I asked if they were getting ready. I said I would so wouldn’t that be mean to not come back? Even if Chloe hardly said a word to me the whole day. I don’t even remember how her yelling started. I just remember she was being brutally mean but I wasn’t really surprised. I was hoping she would have just talked to me but yelling and threatening me is more common with her than it should be. I just remember snippets and her telling me to shut up, that she was going to punch me in my face and lunging towards me. She pushed her chair back and walked away until the car came. I was bawling my eyes out after. I stand by what I said to Lia, why would I want a friend who threatens to punch me. Lia started crying saying I didn’t deserve that and she was sorry that just happened. That she loved me and was proud of me. I was crying for hours and shaking. I had a horrible day the next day as well and will probably continue to for a while.
This is not the first time Chloe has made me think she would hurt me physically. She threatened me during our roadtrip around 4 years ago when she was drunk. She yelled said something along the lines of me being spoiled and dependent. She accused me of having sex with the Europeans in the tents near us after I was on the phone with my parents crying. I came back and she told me she’d hurt me if I tried to get in the tent. I didn’t want to sleep next to her after that so I snuck in the tent after she went to sleep and cried sleeping as close to the edge of the tent as I could.
She said a lot of horrible things to me and her blow up was disproportionate to what she perceived happened. What she thought happened was not intentional but her reaction was. If she sees me as spoiled then so be it. I know many people who have it better than me and those who don’t. But if I didn’t have the support and love from my family that I have, then she wouldn’t either. She was my foster sister at one point in our teens. My dad has been the kindest father figure in her life and always considered her a daughter along with our other friend. I’ve been fortunate to have the family I have and I wish I could change her circumstances. Saying she didn’t recognize me? I’m glad she doesn’t, since moving away has helped me grow. I was timid for years when we were friends and would cater to her and let her be the center of attention. I’ve since become a strong, confident woman who has the bravery to live my life the way I want to and not be afraid to take space in the world. I feel mentally well and happy with who I am which has taken me some time. I’ve been enjoying my years in college and making new friendships. This ‘new me’ that she said she doesn’t respect is a better me. A more comfortable and complete me. Someone extroverted and kind, loved and enjoyable to be around.
It was my graduation weekend and it was known that we would go out and I would be saying goodbye to my friends. I have made a lot so I was constantly being distracted. If that makes me a party girl, weird but okay. I can party and be responsible. She can’t put me down for that when I haven’t done anything worse than she has. Feels like as soon as she gets sober she looks down on people who don’t choose to be. So what if I was a little drunk, I have every right to be. We might’ve been out later than expected but most people wouldn’t hold that against someone if they didn’t speak up to wanting to leave. Telling me you want to sit in my car and not hey I’m not feeling great let’s go makes me confused. That’s not something I deal with, where I have to guess someone’s meaning.
This weekend was going to be a big party whether or not she was sober as the visit was planned before that. The whole graduating class seemed to be out and celebrating. If she didn’t want to be around drinking, I would have understood. In that case maybe she shouldn’t have come. I didn’t technically invite her, she planned to come on her own. I appreciate that but this weekend was going to happen as any graduate would have celebrated it. I would have been sad to not see the people I’ve actually spent time with over the past two years. She has visited over spring break so she knew what my town could be like. I can’t change my plans for her when it was my last chance to see my friends. Considering I would be back in home in a week I thought it was understood that I would be spending time with people other than her and having some drinks to celebrate. I was excited that my best friends would get to meet people I’ve connected with and see the downtown life that I had experienced since working at a bar there. I spent as much time as I could with my best friends but I’ve made more friends since who I had to say goodbye to. I thought that celebrating meant helping me have a fun time on my last weekend in a place that I didn’t really want to leave yet. We weren’t always alone but that can’t be expected. We would have alone time when I came home.
In her text on Tuesday, she accuses me of needing help for ‘my substance abuse.’ Where she got that from considering I was being responsible, not overdoing it, and not blacking out which is her issue with alcohol (which I’ve never done) I have no idea. I guess I’m not allowed to have the ability to drink when I’m celebrating or any other time. She’s really reaching especially since our experiences with her vs how we have been. I’ve never judged her for getting as drunk as she gets which has sometimes been very uncomfortable and night ruining. When I came to visit in January, I was happy to drive and be responsible, let my friends get drunk as they want. No judgement. It’s a problem when I drink but fine when she does? She did not have a good experience in college because she was being in her interpretation a ‘party girl.’ Still no judgement when she had to drop out and come home to leave the coke and drinking behind there. But judge me on my graduation weekend okay. I should’ve been more drunk.
Essentially how could she react like that? Blow up because she felt like I hurt her feelings when she didn’t tell me what was wrong. Feelings I didn’t know I was hurting by trying to celebrate my graduation. Well she really hurt my feelings on the very day of the biggest accomplishment of my life - intentionally. I know she’s going through a lot but that’s no reason to yell and threaten someone with violence before even talking to them.
I apologize if some of this is rambling or me being harsh towards her. I sympathize with her struggles and always have. It’s very fresh and it hurt me more than any other incident with her. I was excited to have my best friends with me on my graduation day but I felt no love from her.

we had both consumed a considerable amount of mushrooms we have been romantically entangled for a while especially since my boyfriend hasn’t been talking much to either of us. but he’s also been camping for like a while. so my boyfriends fiance and i decided to take things to the next level and test our compatibility by taking shrooms together.
at first everything was fine and we were enjoying a glass of chardonnay. suddenly the shrooms kicked in and i was on another planet. i was so confused about my surroundings. i asked him if he laced them and he informed me he had not.
i started seeing a lot of fractals in my vision. it was pretty freaky and i noticed my perception of reality really becoming warped. like the walls were breathing
so eventually my boyfriends fiance, who is less intoxicated than me, admits he’s been admiring me since the day we met. which i had no idea so i started blushing hard. especially because our boyfriend/fiance has told us not to see each other without him there.
i leaned in and kissed him and i told him i felt the same way. he asked if we should be seeing each other with our mutual partner not approving of it. i said yes and i think it’s the best way to strengthen our relationship the three of us.
for the longest time it’s been me and my boyfriend showing love and my boyfriend and his fiance. we have never the three of us gone on a date but i have smoked some pot with them.
anyway my boyfriends fiance tells me he thinks it would be so hot if i prank called 911. i immediately felt embarrassed and told him i couldn’t.
he kept telling me come on it’ll be funny and i told him i wasn’t comfortable with that. he told me if i really want to be with him i will do this for him.
i caved. because i know i do want to be with him. i called 911 and told them i was being kidnapped. i gave the exact street i was on because my boyfriends fiance was pressuring me so much. and i was just trying to impress him.
the cops ended up showing up and my boyfriends fiance immediately pointed the finger at me. so in other words he completely liked to me.
and he kept apologizing and telling me this wouldn’t happen again but i had proven my word loyalty to him. and he bailed me out of jail.
i now have a criminal record because of him. i never would have done this if he hadn’t peer pressured me.
my boyfriend is going to be really mad at me and i feel like his fiance did this to set me up but my boyfriends fiance keeps usduring me that he wants to keep pursuing this. so it’s really hard.
AITAH FOR PRANK CALLING 911 when i was peer pressured! or is my boyfriends fiance TA for pressuring me knowing how i feel?

Hi i’ll try my best to explain! My BF has known this girl for about 6 months and i’ve hung out with them quite a few times. They met through mutual friends. My BF was renovating a house to move in for a year of free rent + she and the mutual friend were also working on it for the same reason and I was ok with that but a bit nervous.
now, things have gone sour and neither my BF nor her feel comfortable living there but she is originally from states away (here for college and wants to move here permanently) and needs to find housing fast or she has to move back to her state for the entire summer.
My boyfriend wants to move out of his parents house but doesn’t know anyone financially responsible enough to be his roommate—besides her. I cannot move in with him because I’m in my home state for the summer and would like to spend the time with my family and rent free.
So, he has asked me about finding a place with her. I do agree that she is a lot more responsible than a lot of his friends and would pay her rent on time. However, I feel very insecure about the idea. He told me it is entirely up to me and he will look for other options if I say no.
Overall she has been very kind to me, but they have spent a lot of time hanging out lately because of the house they were renovating. My boyfriend is being receptive of my feelings, but wasn’t so much before because we are going through a rough time due to stress on both sides, and I’ve felt he’s been too busy to give me girlfriend level of attention and has been not treating me like a girlfriend and more as a friend. We’ve worked on it and are continuing to have serious talks but I am still jealous.
He also did one time tell me he was texting her in a group chat when I got mad he was texting during a serious conversation but then immediately apologized and told me he was just texting her, which really hurt my trust in him. He has acknowledged it and said he will be more respectful.
She also does have a boyfriend but they aren’t having the greatest time from what I have heard and it made me really uncomfortable how much she and my boyfriend were talking about relationships at first when they met but he told me he has set boundaries for that.
That is all of the context for why I feel jealous but I just need advice on where to go from here.

Hi friends! I'm hoping to get some advice on how to calmly approach the topic of needing more TLC from my so. We've been together for almost 6 months now. I struggle with communicating and am looking for some help.
To preface, I started feeling a little bitter a few weeks ago, when my boyfriend really started going heavy on the "teasing" and joking. Don't get me wrong. He's always been that way, as have I. We have fun teasing each other. But as of late it has just felt like nonstop teasing about everything I do. ex: we're at the gym and I drop my airpod. oops. Sometimes he'll tease me on being a clutz. But for the past few weeks EVERYTIME I drop something/clutz up he'll say "embarrassingggg" or just give me a smartass face. Which I DID NOT mind until it started happening literally all the time. That's just one example. You get the idea. Sometimes I feel he's treating me like a sibling instead of a girlfriend. And I know it's because he feels comfortable and we are used to teasing each other. But he would always make up for it by giving me some loving and some kind words. Now it is just relentless joking and poking fun. It's not like anything he says has made me insecure or feel unloved. It's less about the content of the jokes, and more about the lack of some seriousness. I should also add, today when he made a joke about me skipping leg day I turned around and said "that was mean." He didn't really have a response but I could tell he felt bad and he cooled off the rest of our workout. He asked why I was so bummed out and I said it's because of your joke. So I've kinda let him know how it makes me feel. I know it's gonna take a serious conversation. I just don't know how to start that or where to begin. This is both of our first "real" relationships so I'm trying to be patient. I just want some more lovin. Plz no "dump him". I would love some genuinely helpful advice :)
TLDR: My bf has been teasing me relentlessly and I'm bad at communicating my needs. How do I start a conversation about lessening the teasing and showing me some more affection?