Lpn goal statement for school

Race Information

• Name: Vermont City Marathon
• Date: May 26, 2024
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Location: Burlington, VT
• Website: https://www.runvermont.org/
• Age: 35M
• Time: 3:26:22

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub-3:20	No
B	Sub-3:30	Yes
C	Finish	Yes

Splits

13.1 splits	Time
1	1:43:20
2	1:43:02

Ancient History

Growing up, I was always pretty active and started running in High School. Going into my Junior year, I began to take running much more seriously and made steady progress with a 5K PR of 17:06 at the State meet. Going into my Senior year, I had been training 6 days a week with the team and hitting 40-60 miles a week consistently with hopes of going low 16's by the end of the XC season. Then, disaster. Pain in my quads was getting worse and worse until a bone scan finally revealed bilateral femoral stress fractures - one midway along the midline of each femur. I was devastated, and completely stopped running from August until February. By then, it seemed like things were getting better and I was able to put in some good miles for the spring Track season. I was always a better mid-distance runner, and was able to snag a few PRs of 2:00 in the 800m (agony, 1s off) and 4:35 in the 1600m. By that point I was basically over running, completely burned out and sick of running.
10 years later...
I wake up one morning in April of 2017 to take a shower and realize that I have no temperature sensation in my right leg whatsoever. I'm now finishing grad school, I've moved across the country, first kid on the way and due in a matter of weeks. I'm not working out much at this point, maybe running every few months at best. Stress is high. I go to urgent care and the last 6 months of subtle pins and needles on the left side of my face and the occasional double vision start to make a lot more sense. Multiple Sclerosis. It's not a death sentence, but I felt like the world was ending. My kid was due in 4 weeks and now my future was completely uncertain. A month or two, an MRI and one spinal tap later and the diagnosis is confirmed.

Training

Fortunately, new medicines have made MS much more manageable and I was lucky to have a great medical team. Perhaps the most important thing to keep the disease in check beyond highly potent immunosuppressants is regular exercise. Time to start running again.
Starting out was rough, but within a few weeks I was able to feel ok running 15-20 miles a week in the 8-10 min/mile range. I keep that up consistently for a year or so and run my first 10K with a time of 44:42, which I was pretty proud of at the time. Things are going well for a while, second kid is on the way, my MS seems mostly stable, albeit leaving me with some permanent loss of function of my left leg (these gait issues will come up later), pins and needles in my right leg, and fatigue. Then COVID hits. Now I'm at home, with much more time. I increase my mileage a bit, now running 20-30 miles a week but not really following any particular plan or anything. Move across country, keep running when I can.
Mid-2023 I decided to finally take it up a level. I was mostly using the Garmin Daily Workouts at this point and running consistently 30 miles a week. I decided to run my first half-marathon, just as a virtual training run, and felt pretty good about my time with an 8:24/mi average pace. Going into fall, I juggled some illnesses but kept running. Unfortunately around November I started to develop Sesamoiditis and had to really limit my running to 35-40 miles per week. I ran a Christmas 5K with a time of 19:14, which felt pretty good, but was still dealing with the Sesamoid issue.
Over time, the Sesamoid started to resolve but I would occasionally feel some twinges in my right Adductor. Nevertheless, I felt like the time was now to try for my first Marathon. Around February, I finally committed and decided to do the Pfitz 12/55 plan. I had been consistently in the 35-40 range for a few months, so felt like I had a decent base. At first, I found the plan quite difficult to deal with. It was the most structured running I had done since high school, but after a while my schedule adapted and I was hitting all of the workouts. About halfway through, the Adductor issue started to really rear its ugly head. It seems like it's a combination of gait issues from my MS as well as compensating for the weakened Sesamoid. I attempted to strength train, but had to back off a bit.
At best, I was able to hit 53 miles a week, occasionally having to skip some workouts for cross-training or rest. I felt like I nailed the 20 mile runs pretty well and overall the LRs felt good. Unfortunately, the Adductor issue continued to wax and wane, finally flaring up badly about 3 weeks out from my target marathon. After a consultation with Ortho, I was told to stop running cold turkey for two weeks prior to the Marathon, and then a follow-up last Friday I was given the green light to try it ... cautiously ... but consider dropping out if it is too painful.

Pre-Race

My taper was compromised pretty heavily by the injury, so I was really feeling worried about how the race would go. That said, I knew that the training was done at this point, and so an extended rest shouldn't make TOO much of an impact if I feel ready. I carb-loaded three days out and tried to take on a lot of fluids. While my injury was feeling better, the next worry was the temperature. Forecast was saying low 60s for the start of the race, ramping up to the mid 70s by the time I expected to finish. We drove up to Burlington from the Boston area on Friday with the kids, and I likely did too much walking on Saturday but overall I was feeling ok and was fortunate to get a good amount of sleep Saturday night (7.5hrs).
I'm a scientist by training, so planning and preparation is second nature to me. I woke up at 4:45, had a cup of coffee, half a bagel, a banana, and a Maurten 160 drink. Because of the temperature, I decided to prepare two 500mL bottles of Tailwind, one that I would take with me and one that I would pickup from my wife at the Half point. I planned for 4 gels (Maurten@5mi, Gu@10mi, Maurten+Caf@15mi, Maurten@20) and to get a cup of water at every aid station each 2.5mi. I jogged down to the start at 6:15am, used the restroom probably 4 times, and lined up with the 3:30 group.

Race

My plan was to start out with the 3:30 pacer group and see how things go. The course is advertised as being flat and fast, but I'm not sure I believe that because there is a big hill you run up twice with 120ft of vert over about 1/2 mile and between 5-7% grade at times. The course is essentially two figure 8s, and you start in the middle. At 7:15am, we took off. The first few miles felt a bit stiff, but I was chatting it up with the pacers and feeling pretty relaxed. We were going a bit ahead of pace, clocking in at 7:50 per mile for the first 4-5 miles. Around the 10K mark, I was feeling a bit antsy and the pace was slowing down...I decided to head off alone, despite a lot of reservation that I was making a poor decision.
Around Mile 9, I was starting to feel a bit of tightness in my legs and my HR was in the high 160s. I was a little bit concerned about this early fatigue, but I knew from my training that I feel like this on almost every single run and it doesn't really seem to get worse, it just seems to be part of my mechanics or something. I kept pushing on, mile after mile, keeping my pace pretty consistently. Every aid station I got a cup of water, drank some and splashed the rest on my head. This made a HUGE difference in the end.
Mile 13, came in at the Half feeling great. Started up one of the hills and saw my wife. *Disaster* she had the wrong bottle. No carbs, no Tailwind for the 2nd half, and my current bottle was empty. At this point, I had also been taking my gels early. My stomach was feeling great so instead of a gel at every 5th mile I was taking one at every 4. The race provided gels at mile 8 and mile 21, so I had picked up an extra gel by this time and made the decision to stop at the next aid station around mile 15 and fill up my bottle with Gatorade. Salvation.
Kept chugging along, feeling a bit of fatigue setting in around the slog from mile 16-19. At mile 19, I saw my wife again and she had the correct bottle (it was my fault, she thought I meant for her to give me a larger, recovery bottle I had prepared of Skratch for after the race). I got my bottle of Tailwind and hit the monster hill at Mile 20. This was my slowest mile at 8:15 (GAP of 7:40) and it really sapped my strength. I was thinking that this must be like running Heartbreak Hill the entire time I was going up.
Through the hill, into the last 10K. Starting to feel desperate, just pushing forward every step of the way. The pacing in this marathon is quite strange, because it also has a Relay of either 2-person or 4-person teams, so you're always seeing different people with way fresher legs than you. Ended up finding a woman to run with who was crushing it, and we paced eachother the last 3-4 miles. Took a last gel around 24 miles and grinded it out to the end.

Berlin next... then Boston?

Post-race, I was feeling pretty happy with my 3:26 time. To be honest, I felt a little anti-climactic, although I'm not entirely sure why. I didn't feel a ton of adrenaline or emotion throughout the race and things seemed pretty collected. That said, I'm pretty surprised at how much I loved almost every minute of the race itself. Maybe it was just because it was my first time, but it was truly a fun and rewarding experience.
I think there were a few areas where I could have pushed just slightly harder, but given it was my first marathon on a somewhat challenging course in the heat I'm overall happy with my time. I absolutely nailed my hydration/fueling and my pacing, with a slightly negative split overall, so I'm really pleased with that. As a whole, I'd give my training cycle maybe a 6/10; I think I definitely raced too many of my training runs, likely leading to some of my injuries. I was also only able to go above 50mpw in 2 of the 12 weeks of the program.
Given my somewhat poor training cycle, I'm hoping that I still have a lot of room to improve. I was a bit worried that my MS would cause issues during the marathon, particularly my left leg, which tends to lose coordination in long, higher intensity efforts. Fortunately, it felt pretty good throughout.
Earlier in the year, I was lucky to get a spot for both Berlin and NYC. Given their proximity to each other, I'm going to try and defer NYC to next year. I've now been thinking through if I want to try and apply to Boston for 2025. Given my MS, I am technically eligible for an "adaptive" application, which has a cutoff time of 6:00. I feel in two minds about this, because on one hand I feel like I'm maybe taking a bit of the easy way out, when it might be possible for me to hit sub-3:05 some day. On the other hand, I don't know how many years I have left running so I'm thinking I might just seize the opportunity now and then try and qualify through the more "standard" way in the future. Curious on people's thoughts on this, and thanks for reading!
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.

I think my only option is to completely resign as a stepparent. I desperately need advice about sustaining a marriage with polar opposite parenting styles, & how to deal with teenage boys with no manners or basic hygiene.
There is a lot of background here I will try to keep as to-the-point as possible. I am 34 with a 10 year-old daughter. My husband is 39 with a 15 year-old son. We each had kids at 23. We are 5 years apart, as are our kids. We were also friends for 5 years before “courting” & built a strong bond of trust already, so yes, we courted. I had rejected him a few times over the years, as I was abstinent after a toxic relationship & did not want to repeat the same patterns. Over the covid lockdowns, we started talking, texting, facetiming more than ever. When he asked me out again, I told him I was not interested in dating without the ultimate goal of marriage, to which he said, “Good. I don’t want a girlfriend, I want a wife.” 3 months later, we became engaged & our marriage is truly amazing & fulfilling in so nearly every way except one - my daughter & I, some of the most playful & outgoing outdoorsy girls you could meet, have no idea how to connect to his son. And there is nothing to make me think it is worth even trying anymore.
Miraculously, husband & I both get along extremely well with our co-parents. I could not see myself with someone that doesn’t. Neither of us have court orders or child support or rigid schedules. My daughter’s bio dad is one of my best friends, & I made very clear that a relationship with me means respecting his role. He said the same of his son’s bio mom. I come from a very blended family in which this is the ideal. My parents were at each other’s weddings & all get along & still get together. Our own coparents attended our wedding a year & a half ago. And that meant the absolute world to me & hopefully if not now, someday our kids.
For sure, my husband could not be a better stepfather. He & my daughter share inside jokes & their own games & pranks. She has her own nickname for him & will run to him & hug & climb all over him. They convinced me to add baby goats to our homestead, & have been tending to & bottle-feeding them both, a beautiful connection & commitment to share. He says, “She makes it easy.” And to put it lightly, his son does not - but I am absolutely not allowed to talk about it without getting ridiculed.
I first met the son when he was 13. Overweight, awkward, all of his hair in front of his eyes. He then retreated to his room. I know him to be the exact same now. He is 6’0 & I think over 200lbs, larger than my dad. He defaults to locking himself in his room. Unless asked to help stack wood or play a game with the rest of us, he only emerges to use the bathroom (in which he never brushes his teeth or washes his hands), or ask his dad for food - of which, he literally only eats yellow rice & chicken. He will otherwise smash an entire bag of “Takis” or flaming hot Cheetos at 10 AM & continuously throughout the day as they are available to him. He plays live multiplayer games from morning often to midnight or 3 AM, with my daughter’s room right next to him, where I blast the fan & AC & ocean sounds to drown him out. Calling this out seemed to be calling stepson out personally, so all I can do is adapt. Daughter thankfully likes it cold.
I have tried to be as soft & supportive in airing my grievances to husband, but they are never taken with grace or accountability. I am not perfect & have definitely been passive aggressive with his reactivity, as he takes my issues as insults rather than something to work on. He casts blame on bio mom or Covid, & now me. “I don’t know what goes on at bio-mom’s house, we moved an hour away & he gets carsick! I’m out of his life!” “It’s because he was stuck inside for 2 years!” “Are you sure you didn’t HEAR him say hi?” “Good news, I’ve been living with him 15 years, never sanitized a doorknob in his life, & I’ve been fine!” “I wouldn’t want to leave my room with you criticizing his every move either!”
Our first night in our new home for example, was a nightmare. My hand lotion moved from the bathroom counter to the back of the toilet - so then into our room immediately. He left the toilet seat open & my razor covered in pubes. He left open bags of chips with crumbs on the counter, soda cans wherever. “It’s an adjustment, it’s hard on everyone!” Husband said over & over. This was an understatement, being that my daughter has been raised to ask for anything from snack time to screen time always with “please” “thank you,” & we ate out of bowls that we put in the sink rather than stack in our room with soda cans & candy wrappers.. I am familiar with the saying, “Living room kids come from healthy families. Bedroom kids do not.” Daughter is a living room kid. Stepson is a bedroom kid. Either way, I had never had personal items used without asking &felt extremely violated by stepson, then upset that husband blamed me for it instead of understanding where I was coming from.
This remains true nearly a year later. My husband has started lashing out while drinking the past few months, accusing me of “HATING” his son, which is extremely hurtful as I do not harbor any hate in my heart for anyone. What I disdain is the way he is raising his son under our shared roof & living spaces, & that he refuses to acknowledge or communicate about it. As things were not greatly improving, I personally had a talk with stepson about basic manners. I said, “When you enter this house without a greeting or making eye contact, it is an insult. It comes off as rude & entitled & I don’t like feeling like a ghost in my own house. This is your house too & I want you to feel comfortable. But you can help me feel more comfortable too.” “Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
I have truly never had a real conversation with this kid. He does say “hi” & “bye” & the occasional “thank you” now. At this point, it is abundantly clear that he does not want me in a step role, & neither does his father, & neither does bio mom. So it seems I have no choice but to let it all go & suffer bad manners & hygiene, silence, & now bitter resentment from husband.
What I have observed is that I actually“coparent” with my daughter’s father. We coordinate around each other’s schedules, we make decisions together, we communicate about her physical, emotional, spiritual, educational, & social wellbeing. Husband & bio mom do not. They parent in isolation & simply let the other do as they please, which has resulted in a child without manners or discipline. This has led bio mom to put the kid on PROZAC without husband’s consent. This horrified me, as someone who only goes to the doctor for stitches. My daughter’s doctor is the naturopath who midwived her in the bedroom she still sleeps in at her father’s house. I understand not everyone is as holistically minded, but I begged husband to get him to a nutritionist first. The child is obese & malnourished. But too late. Bio mom did as she pleased without communication, which seems constant among them.
I have not shared my views as I know they are not welcome. Bio mom is medicated, her other 10 year-old son (deceased dad) is medicated, & now teenage stepson is as well. Husband blames our distance from him which feels like an indirect blame on me, as we are closer to my community & business as husband works from home. But truly they live in the ghetto, & I have always lived on the coast & barely like to drive through those inner cities. I set up a high school tour for them here which is one of the best schools in the state with a tech program I thought stepson would love, but he chose to stay with his friends, in one of the worst schools of the state. He incredibly won class president, though has dropped a bunch of honors classes & continues failing others.
My birthday was last week. When my husband asked what I wanted, I said baby back ribs & family. I just wanted to grill & chill due to an insane work week. I run a housekeeping business & worked for 24 hours in 3 days opening up for the summer rental season. I did not want to go crazy hosting & knew I would if we invited friends. “Are you sure? You wouldn’t be hosting, I will be! You don’t have to do a thing!” He emphasized over & again. So when a friend ended up visiting from out of state, I was ecstatic to invite her & our mutual close friend to BBQ with us. They are single moms with 4 toddlers between them & wanted to camp on our land.
We had a great day grilling & running the sprinkler & feeding the animals. Husband had promised stepson would be outside with us all day. Toward the evening, I asked where he was. “Do you see any other teenagers out there? What’s he supposed to do?” I was hurt. “Well I don’t see any 10 year-olds either, but [daughter] is still out there, & you actually said he would spend the whole day with us. I just want some time all together.” Husband knocked on his son’s door & said, “Hey it’s her birthday, it’d be nice if you come out & spend some time with us.” Then he did, & even if it was just a quick basketball game with his dad & he introduced himself to no one, it still meant so much to me.
So later when we had helped friends & toddlers set up a tent & fire in our woods, I hugged husband & thanked him for bringing stepson out with us, saying family time was all I wanted. “You two have such a healthy relationship,” my friend says. At the time, it uplifted him & he said he loved this friend to death. A few hours later, he said it was “hilarious.”
We had invited stepson’s mom, but she was out of town. My coparent joined us however, & he & husband stayed at camp with the moms & toddlers while I went to tuck daughter into bed around 9. We played some trivia to unwind, said a prayer, & I kissed her good night & went to start the dishes. Husband & coparent came back around 11 when I was ready to go to bed myself. They were suddenly on a completely different level as my slow & steady beer intake. Both their legs were gashed & covered in blood from their hike without a flashlight, which they thought was hysterical. They were loud & silly like, “You can’t go to bed, it’s your birrrfday!” & I realized, ah. They were drinking my girls’ tequila.
Coparent went on a drunk spiel thanking me so much for all the love I am, how I keep the family together, this & that & showering me with slurred praise. Husband was drunkenly yet enthusiastically agreeing & thanking me, saying I was the best. I tried staying up with them to be polite but they were so deep in conversation on a different level that I went to go make the baby goat formula for their 5AM feeding & go to bed. But I couldn’t find their bottles. I raised my hand with the men, gradually higher & higher to ask husband if he had seen them. “I see you have your hand raised, but hang on, let me finish this point,” coparent said. So husband finally noticed, & I cut in anyway asking if he had seen them. “As a matter of fact, no, YOU fed the goats last so I have no IDEA where they are,” he raised his voice, literally pointing a finger at me.
That suddenly spiraled into another drunken heated accusation of how much I hate his son. I started crying & saying all I wanted was for him to be with us today & that I was grateful he brought him out. He fought me saying they can never have a good weekend because of me, called me an “@$$hole,” & said “F you ,” 3 times in a row, upsetting me so much as there was absolutely nothing I could say, to the point I slugged him in the arm to get him to stop. This has happened twice before embarrassingly with alcohol, when he just yells & yells things that are not true & curses at me that I can’t even respond vocally. “You see how she treats me?!” Both men of course freaked out & coparent started yelling at me to listen to husband. This essentially turned into 2 hours of incessant berating from both of them. They both cried during their own tangents. It spun out of asking for baby goat bottles & continued til 2 AM with, for the first time, continual threats of divorce.
“You are not in this relationship & do not need to mediate it,” I told coparent.
“Like it or not, I am! How you treat husband affects all of us! His feelings are VALID & you need to be quiet & listen to him!” he said.
“I’ve heard this all before & it is simply not true! I do not hate stepson & he wants to divorce me because he thinks I do!”
“Emotions causes us to say things we don’t mean, he does not want to divorce you & knows you don’t hate him,” coparent said.
“Oh no, I DEFINITELY believe she hates him. And if I have to spend the last 4 years of his youth with my son being constantly criticized, I will absolutely divorce her!”
“I did not criticize him once today! I never criticize him, I am trying to help us become a functional household!”
And he just went round & round in the same circular aggressions that can only hear themselves. I continually begged for them to stop yelling as daughter’s window was open, the baby goats needed sleep, our rabbits didn’t need that stress. But I got yelled at more for that. “You can’t control passion & you need to sit down & LISTEN to your husband!” Coparent kept insisting. But I had heard it all many times before. I even tried to sleep in the goat pen, trying to settle the poor babies, still hearing the men raise their voices about me, how being critical was just my nature, & then got yelled out of there.
Around midnight, I tried to resign again & go back inside to finish dishes when stepson emerged. “Do you know where Dad is?” “Oh he’s outside, you can probably save him from [daughter’s dad].” He went into the bathroom. So I poked my head out while they continued bashing me & said, “Stepson needs you.” “I’ll be right there.” I went back to the dishes. Stepson comes out of the bathroom. As always, flushes, no faucet (or hand-washing). “He says he’ll be right there sweetie.” No words, back into his bedroom. 10 minutes go by & still no husband as I continue the endless dishes. I poke my head out again. “Did you not hear me? Your son needs you.” “ALL RIGHT!”
Turns out he needed dinner. Despite a huge spread of barbecue & potatoes & corn & pasta & salad & veggies & dips, stepson touched none of it & needed his chicken & yellow rice. So husband literally cooked him dinner at 1230AM, all the while continuing to accuse me of hating him whilst doing so.
Coparent authentically apologized the next morning on the phone. “You screamed at me for HOURS when I was ready for bed to listen to falsities I have heard over & over without ONCE trying to hear me.” He got it. He humbled & admitted specific wrongs & I accepted his apology.
“Sorry” does not seem to mean anything when you throw around the “D” word like that though. Husband pledged to stop drinking. To his credit, 3 days later, he still hasn’t. But when I said, “If you think I am capable of hate, you don’t know me at all,” the best apology he could give me was, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you hate him. But I know you don’t like him.” Then, “I don’t want to divorce you. I feel like I ruined our entire lives in one night.”
I told him that this is going to take more than “sorry” to heal, especially where blame is still cast, & he will have to “show” me. I don’t even know how, through more conscientious parenting? We haven’t slept in the same bed in 3 nights. I haven’t cooked for him, but I still clean after him. We finished some homestead projects in near-silence together.
I think I must resign to being the invisible ghost stepson makes me feel like. Do I have ANY role here but to resign & accept his parenting & continue mine with my daughter alone, while he reaps the benefits of an amazing relationship with her? Isolation parenting just like with stepson’s biomom ? If not for my daughter & our animals & gardens, I would just want to lock myself in a room all day too. But that’s what is so hard for me to get. We have nearly 30 acres & this child is permitted to be a blob on a screen living on empty calories all day & night. I cannot & will not blame a child for anything. I told my husband that when a plant isn’t thriving, you nourish it & improve its environment. He said he didn’t get it. And as deeply as I love him & don’t want to even think about divorce, I have never been so unattracted to him.

Hi okay this is my first reddit post so please be patient if it's wonky.
For the story I feel the need to give a lot of backstory so thia post is going to be long. Also these are are fake names duh.
Ok so basically me (f16) and my best friend Ann (f16) have been really close seen the 3rd grade. We always were cose but in the last we became extra close. Ann and I are both gay. And to be clear 100% not in love with each other, she's like my sister. So Ann started dating her now ex-girlfriend Margaret during May of 2023. They continued to date over the summer and into the school year. One of Margarets close friends is someone named Shannon (f17) who is also gay. My friend Ann and Shannon have had classes with each other the entire time during highschool and are friends. So during the summer or 2023 Ann began hanging out with Margarets friends including Shannon. During these hangouts everyone would get drunk together sometimes.
Okay anyways now starting the 2023 school year where I am in 11th grade. I start taking a class because of Ann begging me that is 1 class period with a large amount of people. In that class is Shannon. I had known of Shannon but never spoken to her. I only knew Shannon because Ann has liked her our 9th grade year and people thought Shannon was funny. Basically one day in the class I jokingly insulted Shannon and then felt really bad about it. I dmed her on Instagram and we basically did not stop dming ever. The class we have together you have to work a lot with classmates and we were on pages together. In the beginning we maybe took a few days breaks but it eventually became we would text for at least an hour every single day. Now at this same time Ann is beginning to do more school stuff with Margaret such as go to football games. At these events Shannon is there. I began my the end of September to develop feelings for Shannon. I told Ann this. Margaret unprompted told Ann that they should get Shannon and I together. Shannon then told Margaret she wasn't interested. (I later found out this was a lie.) Now during the school year Ann and I are becoming closer but we also are constantly bickering. It was something that was developing to become worse over time. Now finally December happens and all my friends are convinced Shannon likes me. In early December Margaret and Ann break up. This makes Anns already declining mental health get worse. On the 20th of December Ann and Shannon have plabs to hang out and drink. Ann has a master plan that she will ask Shannon about me. Shannon does end up admitting her feelings. Ann tells me this and I message Shannon. On the 1st I tell Shannon I like her and Shannon feels the same. We hang out more and then on the 12th I ask Shannon to be my girlfriend and she agrees. Okay so this is only the back story so get ready.
During December and January Ann was so upset and depressed. Ann has some history of depression but it was the worst I had ever seen it. I also have depression and I am on medication for it and see a therapist. But Ann is someone who does not like to express her feelings and when she does, she does it by being really rude. During this time Ann and I are constantly bickering and disagreeing. We are genuinely getting just constantly so upset with each other. Shannon my girlfriend (this is important for context) also has mental health issues. Ann and Shannon at this point are very close. Ann and Shannon sometimes drink with each other especially when they are very upset. At first I had no idea how I felt about this. I think I felt in part very upset that my best friend who I was constantly fighting with and who wasn't making plans to hang out with me, was getting drunk with my girlfriend. I also felt very stressed for my girlfriend and friend and honestly this behavior reminded me of a form of self harm which I have a history of. So I in part felt triggered by it. I also felt jealous that Shannon and Ann were getting drunk together and sharing a bed together and that they had once mutually liked each other. Because they had. In our freshmen year and into our sophomore year they had mutually liked each other. And I am not dumb I have liked many people and it no longer means anything. However it still upset me.
Now here here's when there's lots of feelings. On Valentine's Day Shannon and I had plans to do something after she got off work and exchange gifts. Ann and I have first period together. In first period we were talking about Fleetwood Mac with another friend. I then made a joke about my other friend and Ann gatekeeping and went to my seat. Later when walking to my 3rd period I overheard Ann talking to one of our friends about me. Ann was saying that she did not understand why I was so upset. I wasn't originally but not I was. I hysterically cried all of 3rd period. I felt so hurt. I walked to 4th period which I have with Ann and the friend Ann was talking to. When I got to class Ann said "I have a question for you". I responded with "I have a statement for you". Ann then asked me why I was so upset about the joke and I said I wasn't. I then told Ann that if she was going talk about me to do it where I can't hear. I hysterically cried for the rest of the class in silence. Ann apologized and said she didn't mean to hurt me and that we could discuss this during our preplanned sleepover. At this sleepover Ann and I with parent permission for drunk. I talked to Ann about how I felt and jealousy. She said she was sorry for how mean she had been to me and that Shannon and her would never cheat on me.
Now to preface this next thing I had talked to Shannon multiple times about how I feel. I talked to Shannon about feeling hurt by Ann and feeling jealous. I also had texted Ann about it more. Ann and I were both trying to be kinder to each other. Now I don't know how many times it happened but Ann and Shannon did keep getting drunk together. It wasn't often but also never. Now either end of February or beginning of March is when I get my feelings hurt so bad. That day in the morning before class Ann texted me and texted me asking if I was okay if Ann and Shannon skipped 1st period to hang out in Shannons car because Shannon was having a really hard time. Ann and Shannon had done this before. I responded to Ann's text with "IDK just do it" and she then said she wouldn't if I didn't want it and I responded "Just do it". I then started hysterically crying. I expected Ann not to be in 1st period so I was excited to cry in peace. To my horror she did not hang out with Shannon in her car. So basically ended of silently hysterically crying for half of the day because I was so done. Now for about the next part you need context, I LOVE hot pretzels, the ones you can get at the movie theaters. Subway had recently come out with a hot pretzel and Shannon really liked it and we planned to get it sometime. Now the day of this all happening Shannon and I had plans to have a sleepover. Shannon told me originally when we first started hanging out that she got a pretzel. Hs when ended up later telling me that Ann and our mutual friend and her got hot pretzels. Shannon didn't want to mention it to me because she knew I would be upset. Apparently Shannon also was going to invite me but forgot and thought I worked on Fridays (I never work Fridays). We then discuss it and I hysterically cry. Shannon really tries to ask me what could be done to make me feel better. And we discuss it and I feel better. I do later on have to tell Shannon that I don't appreciate it when her and Ann make jokes about being in love with each other after I hysterically cried to both of them.
This leads to now. I have been feeling a lot better about it. Ann and Shannon still hang out and it's still upsetting sometimes. Ann now has a girlfriend so I hope that provides me a sense of further security. Ann and I are also doing a lot better. However I just wanted some incite in what I could do for myself to feel better about this. There is more that happened in between them ans now but this post is already so long. I will give more context if people want. Please give me some advice, and I am not looking to be told to break up with them. Thank you!

Hey Reddit,
I’m a 21-year-old who finished high school four years ago. I got into a university but didn’t attend because it just didn’t feel right for me. Since then, I’ve basically been at home, spending most of my time on my computer. I’ve managed to make some money online, but I don’t have a traditional job. It’s starting to feel really wrong to just stay inside and in my hometown forever.
I’m looking for ways to break out of this cycle and transform my life. Here are some ideas I’ve been considering:

1. Moving Abroad: I’ve thought about moving to a different country. It seems like a fresh start could be what I need, but I’m unsure about where to go or how to start this process.
   
2. Finding Like-Minded Friends: I feel it might be easier to take this step if I had friends with similar goals. Maybe finding a group of people who are also looking to change their lives and moving abroad together?
   
3. Scholarship and University Abroad: I’m interested in a lot of subjects, especially computer science. As a self-taught developeengineer, I’ve considered applying for a full scholarship at a university abroad. This could be a way to gain more knowledge and open up new opportunities.
   
4. Moving Out and Finding a Job: Another option is to simply move out of my parents’ place and find a job in a different city or country. This could help me gain independence and new experiences.
   
5. Starting Gym/Sports: On a more local level, I’ve thought about joining a gym or starting a new sport to break out of my routine and meet new people.
   

I’m really open to any suggestions or advice on how to proceed. What would you do in my situation? Has anyone gone through something similar and come out the other side with some good insights to share?
Thanks in advance for any help or advice!
TL;DR: 21-year-old stuck at home for the past 4 years. Considering moving abroad, finding like-minded friends, getting a scholarship, moving out, or starting a new sport. Looking for advice on how to break out of this rut and transform my life.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/WanderingWifie
I'm a gaming widow
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & Marriage
TRIGGER WARNING: addiction, physical violence
Original Post Apr 20, 2024
How is it not me? Help me understand as a gaming widow
My(38f) husband(34m) spent $1800 in 3 months on a mobile game. He recently started purchasing google play cards behind my back so it's not apparent on the bank statement. I caught him because I found it in our truck under the seat. Now he asks for google play cards...except I'm too scared to say no..he's so mean and cold and the walls have holes from it.
I started going to therapy because he's forced us into living almost below paycheck to paycheck. Ofc we've had multiple convos and he knows he may lose me.
I asked my therapist, "How is it not my fault when the kids and me are his life he's trying to escape?" . My therapist kept repeating, "I promise it's not, this is something within him".
I hate her answer.
Can you help me see it from his view? I feel like he doesn't want to be a father to our kids (2m, 7f). Maybe he doesn't want a life with me and can't admit it? Is therapist trying to coddle me? Like is she worried if she says, "WanderingWifie, you are a shit mom. You are a shit partner. You are a shit person. This is your fault because you're a SAHM and he hates living with you in the life you've created together!" That I'll never come back or hurt myself?
He tells me, "at least I'm here. I could be doing (xyz event away from home)after work". At this point I might as well consider him a "cardboard cutout that's glued to the chair". No, really. Our 2yr son got all the way out the door when I was in the backyard letting the dogs out.
I miss my husband so fucking much. We don't go to bed together anymore. He goes to bed at around 130am. I'm never his focus after the kids go to bed. He thinks he's "present" but I doubt he could tell you the plot of any movie or show we've watched lately. He's glued to it for all but maybe 1-2 waking hours...that's me being generous and counting all total points he briefly engages with us. He gets angry when I ask for help putting the kids to bed because it's in the middle of one of his battle raids.
Please please be brutally honest. I don't want to fight for someone to stay in a life they hate.
My MIL is trying to save me from her own son Apr 21, 2024
It just hit me this morning as I sat processing my most recent appointment. It was at her insistence that I saw a therapist that worked closely with women's health. My MIL is the one that briefed the therapist on the situation with her son and his addiction.
My therapist asked, "Does your MIL know how bad the situation at home can get?".
For a moment I didn't answer and the pieces slowly came together as I spoke, "I didn't need to. She saw the holes in the wall and now the shattered glass in the cabinet. I didn't even have a conversation about the cabinet. She texted me after that she was booking me with you and that a wife should never fear her husband. But I never said I was afraid. She knew.."
I cannot imagine how hard this must have been for my MIL; accepting her son is capable of evil and knowing the therapist would guide me into seeing the addiction and abuse wasn't normal, knowing it would leave to me putting plans in place to leave him. She did this knowing the divorce will be nasty and I will have main custody of the kids.
This woman stood up for other woman over her son and I don't know how to begin to thank her.
Edit: info: FIL & MIL grew up in physically abusive households they are not abusive.
My husband is verbally abusive. The concern is it transferring from holes in the walls/smashed glass to my face being met with his fist. For those that don't see holes in walls as warnings....you are blind the way I was...it can turn on a dime, it's a question of when. I had become so used to it preaddiction that it no longer phased me as "not normal". The addiction has ramped his anger issues up. I do not feel safe saying no when he asks to spend money on it.
Edit 2: I promise to continue to update and make posts. It's hard for me to not delete because this addiction...and what it's done...not only is it not talked about (on the rise according to my therapist and WHO has classified it as a disorder similar to gambling) but people that "don't get it" are like "WHAT A LOSER". Please understand this is a 13 year relationship (married for 9 of them) and he was not always like this. I loved the man I married. I do not love this man that has replaced him.
He said something really mean but it's true Apr 27, 2024
"At least I haven't wasted 30K on an education that resulted in nothing".
We've been fighting a lot...mostly about the mobile game addiction. I don't want to get into it here but it's a lot of money and time. My post history talks more about it.
I started crying on the spot when he said it. It was a low blow for many reasons.

1. I tried several different majors in my 20's but bad mental health got in my way and I failed.
   
2. I graduated last summer from a medical trade there are no jobs for.
   
3. I got fired in Jan (2 weeks from the 90 day probation) from my last job and it devastated me because I tried my hardest at it...I guess I'm just garbage at admin work.
   
4. I've been feeling very lost in life and wondering my purpose. Should I go back to my career I had before the kids? I was just a dog groomer...average at best..I tried to break away with a career change but that failed..as you can see.
   

He has tried to apologize but I'm too hurt. I don't feel like I have the right to be mad because what he said is true.
I was supposed to start volunteering at the animal shelter and groom strays for free as per my therapist's hope to "get me out there". Instead, I'm sitting with my daughter watching movies... not wanting to see the light of day.
Update: My MIL is trying to save me from her own son May 22, 2024
Well...It's been over a month... and a lot happened. He blew up my chance to volunteer at the animal shelter. He did not like it when I got strong and said, "I'm not nothing without you; I have rights, you will owe my alimony, half of the house for starters". So he went after the therapist who also mainly runs the shelter... whatever he said made her not respond to my emails or messages. I believe he accused her of purposely ruining a marriage and probably some legal threat from his response. I'm really sad and feel like I can't trust therapists after this...I worry that maybe I'm too damaged... mostly I wonder what was said. I feel freaking abandoned but I don't want to unpack that in this post tbh.
Last night all hell broke loose and I said the words out loud, "I want a seperation- I'm done". I was/am done with doing all the house chores; (laundry, dishes, all & any house cleaning, pet feeding/walking/poop clean up, all the emotional labor of helping 7f with school & teachers, taking on all the finances because he can't be trusted not to spend stupidly & selfishly). I was/am tired of doing all the potty training with 2m and 95% of diapers. I was/am tired of feeling embarassed to let people in the house because of the holes in walls.
I bet you can guess how well it went. New wall holes. Hooray. I went into the laundry room, locked it, and screamed, "No! You don't come in here! This is my safe space. I will fucking call the cops.".
I stayed there for two hours. He kept trying to get me to come out and talk. I said, "I do not feel like we can have a conversation without fighting. " each time. Then I went to bed and pretended to sleep as he got ready for work (omg I was so happy he got called in).
In the morning I texted my mil that it was over and I was leaving at the end of the month. I asked her to make sure he has support during this time...because...I still love him and don't want him to anything dumb. She responded with simply "We (meaning my fil as well) love you ". Omg I cried. I cried because, as a mother myself, I cannot imagine how painful this is for her.
Later on my husband called me. I listened to that canary sing like his life depended on it. He said he would delete the game or not spend anything on it. He said he would create a chore sch with me so I wouldn't be doing everything.
My heart so badly wanted to believe it. I knew I couldn't give in...he needed to feel the gravity of his fuck ups; the almost 3k he spent on a game in 4 months, preventing me from going to therapy, ruining my chance to restart my former career (dog groomer), and just everything.
So that's all for now...I'm sitting here..at midnight...nervous for when he comes home tomorrow (he's gone 12-48 hours at a time for his job).
Ps. My dad is doing his second round of chemo and so far-so good. They did find cancer in his lymph nodes after surgery..so yes it spread but not as bad as it could be. Thank-you to the redditor's that said such kind things.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP when asked why she is still talking to her husband and doesn't take the kids and leave

It's a funny thing. This is someone I've been with for 13 years. The major shift in everything happened 4 months ago when he found the game. It's not so easy when you've been a sahm for 7 years esp in this job market.
I used to say the same thing as you when I heard of people in abusive situations. All I can say is unless you've been in a situation similar you do not and cannot possibly understand.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Im stuck in a constant state of hopelessness and dread. I feel everything SO INTENSELY its as if im staring at the sky and watching bombs drop over me, like theres nothing i can do, like i could scream as loud as i want or cry as much as i want but nothing will change my situation. I have no desires, nor dreams, nor aspirations. I have no goals, and the only plan i have involves a big ass shotgun pointed right at my face.
Im 16F & ive been diagnosed with "major depression" for about 4 years, to top it off i had a bipolar mother. I dont understand how anyone could live the life i had and not be "depressed". How could someone experience what I've experienced and not be "depressed". Its not a mental illness, im not mentally ill, I've experienced life as it comes and life itself is constant pain and dread. I dont want to be here. Im stuck. I dont know what to do with my life. Grade 11 exams suck, im failing 4/5 of my classes. What do i do after school? I dont have any dreams regarding work. I have no dreams regarding travel. I have no big purchases i want to save up for, and i have no friends to spend time with. People tell me life will get better, but i saw how life treated my Mother, it never got better for her. Dying young, the only life she ever lived was through me, there is no life in Bipolar Disorder. No life just suffering. I dont want to be like that.

>Is this a brand new build, or an upgrade to an existing build?
brand new
>Please list any existing parts or monitor(s) you have that you would like to re-use with this build. For upgrades, a PCPartPicker list of your full build is extremely helpful. Be as specific as you can be here, including links or exact model numbers of each component whenever possible.
none
>What will this PC be used for? Examples include things like gaming, general/multimedia use, photo/video editing, coding, AI/ML, etc. Include specific games and applications you intend to run, and any particular performance goals you have, as each may have different specific hardware needs.
gaming(assetto corsa/trackmania/minecraft & more eventually), school projects
>What country will you be purchasing in? If you are in the US, do you live near a Micro Center? For other countries, please check if your country is supported by PCPartPicker by using the country selector dropdown on the top right - if not, please provide some links to reliable local vendors you are comfortable ordering from.
USA, no micro center
>Do you need one or more monitors included in the budget? Please list how many and any size/resolution/refresh rate preferences if needed.
1 monitor, no preference just want it to run good
>What is your preferred and maximum budget range for this build, in local currency? Parts lists may sometimes have additional shipping costs. Please note whether prices in your country include sales tax or not, and adjust your budget accordingly. Typically VAT countries will have it included in the part list prices, whereas regular sales tax countries like the US and Canada will not.
ideal is under 1.2k USD
>Do you need WiFi, or do you have a wired ethernet connection available?
i need wifi
>Do you have any specific size or noise requirements for the build?
no size/noise
>Do you have any aesthetic preferences for color or lighting? Describe what you're looking for, or feel free to provide some links to examples that may help. Some people prefer an inobtrusive stealth build, while others may prefer a case full of rainbow RGB.
prefer all black with little rgb
>Any other specific requests or requirements? Examples might include a specific minimum amount of storage, or a particular CPU socket for a future upgrade path, etc.
none
I will follow the instructions

Hi everyone,
I am a second-year MBBS student at a medical college in KPK, Pakistan. I'm very interested in pursuing a residency abroad. However, I haven't had any clinical exposure yet, but I aspire to have a career in surgery. While I'm unsure of the specific type of surgery, I know that surgery is my passion. My father, a medical specialist, works closely with patients, and I have realized that one-on-one history diagnosis is not for me. I would rather engage in something more challenging.
That said, I might change my mind after gaining clinical experience and might go into something like IM or EM. I come from a modest background, and I have three younger siblings whose education my parents also need to support.
My parents are already okay with investing in the UKMLA path since it's cheaper and I've been considering it since before medical school. Should I opt for the USMLE path? I am very passionate about my goals and will work hard to achieve them. I'm considering taking Step 1 without using any paid resources and relying on pirated resources. If I pass Step 1, I can ask my dad to invest further in my education. What are your thoughts and advice on this matter?
Thank you!

Hi, my daughter is a year 12 student and considering applying for Doctor of Veterinary Medicine at Uni Melb through Graduate Degree Packages for High School Achievers. I think she will get over 98.5 ATAR and she’s a domestic student. I saw the requirements saying that she will need to get at least 70 WAM in her two years of bachelor of science degree and then at the time of enrolment to veterinary bioscience major, need to write a written statement and pass as satisfactory in situational judgment test to be admitted to DVM. My question is about the SJT. How likely is it for someone to fail it? And are students given only 1 attempt? Do you get second chance if you fail?

My primary fears, since I was about ten, have been that I will end up in a position in life wherein I am financially unstable, and that I am “useless.” When I say “useless,” I mean a member of society who has nothing of value to contribute… though as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that this is actually a very unhealthy mindset. When I was younger, I used to look down on people who seemed very calm and relaxed, because I somehow thought it meant that they weren’t hardworking. Now that I’m an adult, I actually understand that it’s healthiest to be able to relax sometimes, but even then, I struggle when I have a break from work and school like I do this week because I think it makes me stop and think about how boring I arguably am. I mean, I suppose that I’m not boring because in my opinion no one really is - everyone has something they can teach you, everyone is more interesting than they may initially seem to be - but at the exact same time, I just mean that I somehow feel like I’m not doing things.
I watch films and television when I’m off school and work, and am finishing “Carrie” by Stephen king (I’ve been reading it for too long, been slacking on finishing it because I’ve been busy with school and work.) But I want to pick up a hobby, to learn something new. I feel now that we are 4 days into this break like I’m going crazy and I need some kind of change, but I’m also afraid to change my schedule too much, especially since when my job returns from this break there will already be a fair amount of change. I’m very tired and always am because of my awful sleeping schedule but haven’t fully fixed it and won’t just let my body take a nap even though I know I should. I’m tired of just watching films and tv on my breaks. I should teach myself something, pick up a new hobby, but I know I probably won’t. I have depression+anxiety+PTSD, I’m an ISFJ.
On Friday, I negotiated my salary with my employer. I had realized earlier this week after my employers sat me down and told me, in short, that my job responsibilities will increase that as an educator, I am underpaid ($17/hr.) I was nervous about it the day before even though I’d been feeling upset (I remember the term that had continuously come into mind was “disrespected,”) and requested the input of my coworkers.
I remember I had been steadily growing more and more agitated when my employers hadn’t set a date to discuss it, although I explained my reasoning to her as I had planned to (I was initially nervous and was actually partly frustrated, even though I knew they were busy with planning end of the year events, because I thought they would say no.) I was wrong. I provided $20 as the goal, said $19 was the lowest I was aiming for - we agreed that $19 in June makes the most sense, and $20 depending upon how June goes (I was specifically advocating for more money due to the care I’ve provided, and will continue to provide, for a child who has different needs.)
I had hesitated to ask for a raise after being promoted even though I’ve been working for nearly a year because I remember feeling early on as though I perhaps wasn’t good enough at my job, and didn’t deserve one because of it (I was told at last month’s evaluation that I’d be bumped up to $18/hr, but basically negotiated my way into more money today.)
I did tell my coworkers afterward, admittedly in a pleased sort of manner that may make me seem like a bit of a show off, even though I’m certain they make more as lead teachers. I have admittedly wondered if I am doing badly for someone my age (19 for nearly two months.)
I remember that I even cried, twice last week when I believed that my employers simply didn’t want to meet with me to discuss a potentially greater pay increase. I did not, however, have a set plan as to what I’d do if they said no.
I have no friends. I know that I should try to make some, but it’s very difficult for me to maintain friendships. I don’t know why. I actually think my communicative skills have improved immensely in comparison to how they were throughout most of high school, but I just am not the type who initiates plans/hangouts.
I have never received a grade lower than a C in any of my college courses (or courses throughout my academic career,) but still don’t know what I want to major in. Multiple people have told me that I should give it time, but some part of me wishes that I knew now.
I normally feel kind of stressed, especially when I’m around my family for a long period of time, but it’s hard to tell whether that’s due to my trauma and anxiety disorder, or apart of my personality. My mother did describe me as having been a “very nervous” child even when I was 3, and I didn’t experience any kind of real trauma until I was about 13-14 as my parents and home situation really changed around that time (my older brother had a mental break that year, and is presently in rehab.)
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Please take it easy on me this is my first ever post 😅
For some background: Basically I’m 20M, recently I’ve played USL2 and played in college. I’m from the US as well
Now for the context: I was going to college far away from home to play footy. I recently transferred back home where I do school online. I left because I was depressed because I wasn’t getting good minutes. Before some of you say something like I should just get better, I promise you I was performing. I had 3 goals in about 120 minutes (this remained the best goals to minutes ratio for the whole team all season) at the beginning of the season and then got permanently benched after that.
In between transferring I had a pro trial (US 3rd division), and I got some interest. However, I didn’t get signed due to them not being able to house me. But I learned that I am definitely at the level athletically and technically.
So now I’m home and playing for a UPSL team with a bunch of guys that play at the local colleges and I’ve been getting decent minutes.
The problem is, I dominate here sometimes but not nearly as much as I should. I also think it is due to the fact that I just have not been enjoying footy. When I score and get starts, it feels right but I can’t say it’s that much “fun” as it used to. And maybe it’s because I’m numb to it because I’ve performed at higher levels so I don’t get the same rush. But the environment at the moment is also very toxic so that probably cuts off much room for enjoyment.
A thought I have been having at the moment is that I feel even at the pro level these really hard moments are the reality of it all, probably even more so, and through it all you’re always on your own to deal with it. And I don’t know if that’s the reality I want to live through. Yes, I love footy more than anything and it’s all I have wanted to do for the past 9 years which makes this all really tough. But I just haven’t had the passion to wake up every morning with the mindset to train to push for the next level. It’s scary that this is what I’ve wanted for what seems like forever and now that I’m closer than ever and it’s in arms reach, I’m questioning if I want it anymore. I just don’t know how I can convince pro teams that they want me if I don’t know if I want them.
Sorry it’s a lot. Please ask questions because there’s still a lot that went unsaid and I know there’s probably gaps and stuff that doesn’t fully connect or make sense.
I also have started sprinting. I ran a 2.12 20 yd 4.20 40 yd and 10.81 100m all laser timed. And right now my mind is fogged with the possibility that I may have more potential there than with soccer. But I feel to cut off soccer when I feel so close and am still young would be naive

Let's first delve into the doubtlessly demeaning details: I am 24 years old, living with my mother, working a job only tangentially relevant to what I studied for, and it's not even for the living expenses -- it's to defray my degree program costs (mother insisted I shouldn't consider student loans if it can be avoided, even though it'll defer my actually receiving the degree; did I mention I'm 24 years old still paying off undergrad, and that's just one criterion out of several to fulfill? I sound so ungrateful for her provision phrasing it as that -- my apologies, even in her absence -- but I am at present prioritizing transparency over respect).
At my age, my life is not even fractionally what I envisioned it to be in my youth -- I can't say I've ever made friends in school, ever had fun, even (I can thank the quarantine), and any connections I've made fizzled out upon my departure from grade school or uni -- and I suppose that's weighing down the relationship with my mother and me. She'd give me some command, something inessential such as wiping the floor, and my response is simply lying in bed until my job or some other extradomestic obligation impels me out of it -- nearly all the time that happens, I wholeheartedly promise you I feel physically incapable of doing anything else.
I'd tell her, "I'll get to it; can I just lie here a while?"
She'd reply, "I want it done now; what else do you have to do at this moment?" with her voice carrying more than enough emphasis for both of us.
That, or I would question why something should be done or my ratiocination in why it shouldn't, and she would interpret that as my challenging the position she holds in the house, ergo I'm "trying to pick a fight" with her (the quotes are to display her wording, not my mocking it -- I truly have no energy to pick fights with anyone, let alone my own mother)
Such as her telling me, "I need you to install this modem, get to it."
"We already have a functioning one; are we replacing it?"
"Obviously. Why do you have to talk back to me all the time?"
"I'm sorry, may I just ask why?"
"Jesus Christ, does it matter? I pay for these things, not you!"
Meanwhile I wasn't comfortable disconnecting my computer from the Internet -- even for a second -- because the files I'm accessing for my school might be denied upon reactivation. That didn't matter to her, she applied the "you want it done when you want it, do it yourself" mentality, and, yes, that's exactly what happened -- I have yet to inform the professor, and I'm hoping it doesn't lead to anotber bill added to my statement.
In fact, none of it matters -- she aims to send me off to a group home and effectively cleanse her life from the stains I inflicted on her, as I have insufficient financial means to live without her; it was her sister's -- my aunt's -- idea, to demonstrate to me "who's in control" (which I never have any intention of contesting, though I'm disregarding the dissonance between intention and action in my saying that) and to safeguard her well-being against the stress I unceasingly bring her, and, goodness, I can't blame her at all for that.
The title is accurate, I'm not sure what to do anymore; should I even try to combat such decision-making? I am her only offspring and I can't say I was ever a good son to her.
If nothing else, thank you sincerely for reading. Knowing that someone would read this -- and maybe even relate -- is enough to bring me peace.

Hello everyone,
My name is Jack 18 just graduated high school I have three goals in my life before I die number one I want to open a private security business with locations in Chicago , Los Angeles San Francisco, Seattle and Portland Oregon. Secondly I want to open a chain of gentleman’s clubs in a lot of us cities and maybe expand to Canada third I want to own a custodial businesses. Does anyone have any advice for me should I go to college or just start right now. I’m not trolling I’m legit.
Thank you all

I want to start by making my stance as clear as possible. If you disagree, that is okay, I only ask that you either read what I have to say and engage in discussion, or click away, it’s entirely your choice.
Firstly, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has a long history that must be looked at in its entirety. Focusing on the Oct. 7 attack by Hamas as a starting point is ignorant of this fact.
I believe: - The ongoing actions by the Israeli government to invade Palestine is wrong. - The Oct. 7 attack by Hamas was wrong. - The death of civilians is wrong. - The targeted bombings of schools and hospitals is wrong. - Anti-Semitism, showing hostility or prejudice against Jewish people, is wrong. - Criticizing Zionism/the State of Israel is not Anti-Semitic. - Calling for a ceasefire is not anti-Semitic. - Being in solidarity with the Palestinian people is neither anti-Semitic nor pro-Hamas. - There should be an immediate ceasefire.
With that out of the way, I want to address those currently protesting and those who may want to. Protesting, especially in groups, can be a powerful way to deliver a message. Having partaken in some myself, I applaud those who have been vocal. However, effective protests must keep certain things in mind. Some of the posts I’ve seen on here have encouraged me to make this post so that those who want change enacted have a clear idea of how to go about it.
Protests do two things: raise awareness and point the lens at those in power. They should encourage your peers to stand up and march with you. Belittling others and disrupting midterms/studying only jades people to your cause. Rather, educate your peers, extend a hand, march together as equals toward a common goal. Attention should be focused on faculty and especially administrators who have a platform.
A protest I like to hold up as an example is the march on Washington. By marching peacefully, and as one, they gained the attention of everyone who may have been less aware or on the fence about civil rights issues. By marching to the capitol, they brought the scope of the issue directly onto those that had the real power to make the change they wanted. While protests are disruptive and are meant to be, they should inconvenience your target audience the most.
I believe many of us at Davis agree on things happening right now. We should uplift our fellow students and focus our voices on the administration, the ones in power. If you notice someone acting out of line, remind them of what it is they’re trying to accomplish. I truly believe in the ability of Davis students to make a change.
tl;dr: we need to uplift fellow students and aim our voices of protest loudest at those in charge.

I’m a new grad LPN who went PRN at the hospital I’m working at to work Full time in a nursing home. I will only be there until the end of August because I am starting my RN bridge program. I generally hate nursing homes because of the people who work there. I’ve never had a good experience in terms of bullying and terrible treatment. But my hospital job does not pay well and I need to make and save money for school and this place was paying the most.
The job is ok. Nothing terrible. But the nurses I have to deal with on day shift are all insane and questionable individuals. I can deal with 2 of them because they are easy to ignore. But one in particular has really been bothering me and I don’t know how to deal with it to save my own sanity. I’ve known her in passing for years since I was a CNA at this same place. But she found out that I’m going back for my RN through gossip and I believe that’s why she’s been acting this way. And she always comes to work 30 minutes late so I always leave at least 45 minutes late. On my first day meeting her again there was no warm greeting, only a Hello and then my name.
At one point she went on a tirade about why she’ll never go back for her RN and how being one is pointless and stupid and such a bad idea. And she went on and on for quite a while about it. She was telling this all to someone else completely unprovoked. The conversation had nothing to do with but she she just brought it right up out of nowhere and was looking at me the entire time. And she was so worked up. I thought it was strange but I wasn’t bothered by it. But every time I give her report she always does the same things. She ALWAYS walks away from me as I’m giving report and she’s never actually doing anything. She just walks away pretending to do random things and tells me she’s still listening which means I have to talk louder. But I never get a full sentence out. She ALWAYS cuts me of as I’m trying to tell her things about the patients to have a conversation with the other nurse or one of the CNAs and make sly jokes. I never get to give a full report because she never lets me finish it. At one point I was trying to tell her that I redressed a patient’s wound, but she cut me off to start laughing and talking to a CNA.
She and this same CNA also mocked me and the way that I talk and make faces at each other making fun of me when they think I don’t notice. She also belittles and talks down to me as if I’m a child or stupid. It’s so bad. I don’t know how to approach this because there are people all around us and they are all her friends and I don’t want any trouble. I feel like I have to just sit and let them make fun of me and intimidate me. I’m also on the autism spectrum so a lot of things I don’t pick up on right away and by the time realize it, it’s too late. And I am not good with confrontation or recognizing certain things in the moment that they happen. I’m always so nice to her and to everyone else and I just feel like they think I’m stupid. Or maybe they are just intimidated that I want to advance farther than them just want me to believe I am. I don’t know.

Hey everyone!
So, I read through the replies from the last thread and am so thankful for the advice. It was really eyeopening how insightful everyone was. Because truly I wasn't sure what this guy's deal was. So the goal of this date was to get more info like others suggested.
Anyway, we went on our third date and it was kind of interesting. He took me to an upscale restaurant, the kind where the waitstaff put the napkin in your lap for you haha. I think he could tell I was still a bit...cautious? So anyway he asked me if something was up, guess he could sense it. I did tell him I was a little skeptical about his situation so he did open up to me, which was kind of eye opening.
He told me he's always been passionate about art, studied it in school, and then after school went to go work for his family's company in the marketing department (he helped with their ads). He spent a few years doing that, but said it wasn't what he wanted to do, didn't like the office culture and felt out of place since the relationships were so fake since people knew who he was. So he quit and pursued art. He showed me his little art website (it was kind of cute haha), and told me he doesn't make any money from it and was a struggling artist, we shared a laughed which was nice.
But then he said he isn't totally inactive with the business, he attends the shareholder meeting every year, and he's on the board of their foundation and helps with coordinating donations(showed me the website with his name/picture listed). He shared a couple of the cool donations he helped with from around the world and he seemed really passionate about it. He didn't tell me before because "that's not really work" and he spends more time traveling and painting/art.
Anyway it was a nice dinner, he paid and then asked if I wanted to go on another date to paint some little ceramics at a small place in the city. He promised it's not to show off because in his words "I suck at painting". It sounds like a cute date so I think I'm up for it.

What’s been your experience?
Was left for his coworker after 5.5 years. All of us are early to mid 30’s. He wanted to finish school and get his degree, so I paid 90% of the bills so he could work less and make his dream come true.
Only for him to dispose me like trash and get with his coworker who could barely hold down a job. He moved in with her and her 9 year old almost immediately, and dropped out of school to focus on his ‘new’ family.
It’s been almost 2 years and damn, does it still hurt. They still look soo happy together while I’m left to pick up the pieces. I did so much for him in that relationship. Supported his goals, his career (I was the breadwinner by 3x), his school, his hobbies, encouraged him to have a better relationship with his parents and siblings (which he did), was there for him through one of his toughest moments, stayed when he worked on himself, and so much more.
I always find myself comparing myself to her. What does she have that I don’t? But like the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy.

What’s been your experience?
Was left for his coworker after 5.5 years. All of us are early to mid 30’s. He wanted to finish school and get his degree, so I paid 90% of the bills so he could work less and make his dream come true.
Only for him to dispose me like trash and get with his coworker who could barely hold down a job. He moved in with her and her 9 year old almost immediately, and dropped out of school to focus on his ‘new’ family.
It’s been almost 2 years and damn, does it still hurt. They still look soo happy together while I’m left to pick up the pieces. I did so much for him in that relationship. Supported his goals, his career (I was the breadwinner by 3x), his school, his hobbies, encouraged him to have a better relationship with his parents and siblings (which he did), was there for him through one of his toughest moments, stayed when he worked on himself, and so much more.
I always find myself comparing myself to her. What does she have that I don’t? But like the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy.

To make a long story short, I graduated college in 2014 with a BS in anthropology and minor in psych. I've spent the last 10 years in entry level healthcare admin assistant positions. I'm tired of it and am wondering if I should return to my roots.
I have trouble narrowing down my goals, and I've considered going back to school several times (for social work, library science, genetic counseling, and a MPH) but I just don't think it's worth it.
Are there any career paths I might be forgetting about that would require a quick certification at most? I've applied to several research associate jobs that were looking for social science degrees. I was considering applying to some museums, but I don't know if anyone would even consider me since it's been so long?

So I started talking to this guy who I really click with and we seem to have similar life goals and relationship goals. I decided to take the plunge and just go see him.
I paid for my flights and everything and I didn’t want to ask him for any help financially since we were just meeting for the first time. i was willing to take a hotel near him but he said he would rather me stay with him and just use the spare bedroom if i felt comfortable. he had the dogs stay with his parents for the night so we could spend time just the two of us.
he is financially independent, has a house, a good job, and two lovely dogs.
something i really liked about him was that he was also close to his family. his mom and dad live minutes away from him and visit almost daily. i have no issue with this on its face. but then there was a bit of tension.
when i was there everything was wonderful! it was butterflies and everything. i felt safe and happy! then the next day we woke up and his mom seemed upset on the phone about him being late to pick the dogs up and concerned about why. i didn’t make anything of it.
when we got there i stayed in the car and when he came back to the car w the dogs he explained how his mom felt about the whole thing on the drive back. he said she was apprehensive about me being there. she also was concerned about my job/finanical stability bc i am entering into a PhD program and said that I should “work before attempting to be a professor”. for context, i have had a job consistently since i was in high school so i was offended. especially when i fronted the money to see him with no reimbursement! he also said that she warned him not to have me at his place and told him not to do anything sexual with me because i could “accuse him of sexual assault”. i was bewildered with how casually he said this. and he just kept saying his mom is just looking out for him and anxious.
i immediately felt like the situation would be his mom trying to stop us from seeing each other if this was her initial reaction. he said that she has always been like this about him seeing girls and has “high standards” for who he should see.
later that day he made a comment about how his parents were frustrated and upset about how my being there prevented them from coming over for the day. i asked if that would be an issue if i came back again. he said that he “can’t keep them away for too long”.
i dug into his relationship with his mom some more and he revealed that his mom will come over to clean and do different tasks in the house for him. he doesn’t seem lazy or incapable at all to require that. but he said she enjoys it and won’t stop her.
i have no interest in dealing with an overbearing mother like this. it feels bad enough to feel like i have to impress someone rather than having a neutral or piece start. i also expressed that my families reaction that i was seeing someone was overwhelmingly positive because they just want to see me happy.
he said that i should just enjoy the happy moments and if any issues arise “we will deal with them together”. i agreed but on second thought feel as though it is not my reality to quell his mother and combine her i am worthy to her son. it feels like we’re 16 in high school or something.
overall, i would like some advice on how to proceed with things. should i just see how it goes? should i cut it off now? should i try to help him draw boundaries? i haven’t encountered something like this before in my dating life. any advice would help.
TLDR: started seeing a new guy who lives far away, his mother seems to disapprove of me even though she has not met me before and only knows my occupation and age. his mother is also always over and gets upset if that is prevented. don’t know how to deal with this family situation. do i leave or try to work it out?

My youngest daughter is 4. She was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder right before turning 2. It's tough sometimes, but we get by. Now she's getting close to kindergarten age.
Currently she has an IEP and goes to special education school, under KCPS. The whole program is so spotty. A new manager every year. Communication with the teacher is hard. Transportation is not reliable.
It pains my heart to look outside our district for alternatives. My oldest daughter goes to Border Star Montessori (at 63rd and Wornall) and I couldn't be happier with her education. She's in kindergarten and her teacher has a PhD. She has music and art lessons. Her reading is above the expected level for her age. And the Montessori method emphasizes independence and working to achieve your goals.
Have you folks had a different experience with IEP students in other districts in the metro? I'm not looking to move now but it's something I wouldn't rule out in the next few years. Though I love living in Waldo.