I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/Chemical-Scarcity964
Originally posted to AITAH
Previous BoRU
[New Update]: AITAH for refusing to help my FIL with a vehicle?
Trigger Warnings: emotional manipulation, deaths of loved ones, financial struggles, cancer
RECAP
Original Post: December 3, 2023
I (38F) have been married to my husband (43M) for almost 15 years. My FIL has never really accepted me as family. He referred to me as "my son's wife" for the first 5 years of my marriage & when he convinced us to go halves on a property insisted on only his & my husband's names on a survivors deed, "in case we divorced". In the last few years, he has struggled financially due mostly to poor choices he made. His wife, husband's step mom, is much older & has medical problems leading him to choose to work mostly from home. He has traded in vehicles numerous times in the last few years, supposedly trying to lower his payments, but is always upside-down on the loans that it doesn't work. He is paying close to $1000 a month on a minivan. Now here is my problem.
My FIL is currently trying to guilt trip my husband into giving him one of several vehicles I inherited. I had two uncles pass away 3 weeks apart during the holidays more than a year ago & I am still going through the probate process because they passed so close together. I do not have the court's permission to do anything with their vehicles yet.
He told my husband how much it would help him to have one of the vehicles so that he could let his car go back on repo & not have to make the payments. I may have considered it too, if he had waited more than a couple weeks after my both uncles passed away. I was, quite litterally, knee deep in a horders paradise, trying to clean out their apartment within the month to avoid having to pay rent because i couldnt afford it and had no access to their money (strike one). He picked out which vehicle he wanted, the most valuable of the 4, rather than asking if we had plans for them yet (strike two). Then he asked my husband to give him said vehicle (strike three). As a cherry on top, asked my husband again (still has never asked me) to give him a $10k vehicle after we pay for all the little repairs it needs, of course.
Here is where I might me the Asshole: Do I need the vehicle? No. Could I use the money from its sale? Yes, but I could live without it, too, as our finances are better now. Will I sign it over to him? Never. This is far from the first time that man has shown utter disrespect for me & he can pay for rides before I give him any vehicle. Yes, I am probably being a little childish. The only reason I hesitate, I actually like his wife & it would help her to some extent.
Edit to add: My husband has already told me that the vehicles are mine & I can do whatever I want with them.
Since it's been mentioned a few times: he has been bought out on the property & my name added.
Edit for clarity & to address the most common responses: My husband acts as a buffer against FIL for the sake of my sanity. He has told FIL multiple times that the vehicles are not his to do anything with, but the man is intentionally dense. His wife cannot legally own a car as it cannot be registered in her name (no license) I will not loan/rent him a vehicle as I can't trust that he will maintain it.
 
Relevant Comments
akhoneygirl: Offer him the worst for 3 or 4000!

OP: That's part of it. He wants us to fix & give him the vehicle. All of them need at least a few hundred in repairs. He has no interest in paying us for anything. He is just set on guilt tripping his son. My husband has told me everything from the start & said it's all up to me, my uncles, my vehicles, my decision.

SawwhetMA: So FIL set you up to lose out on a property if your SO passed away before FIL did? I'm glad to hear you bought him out and that's set now . If you find it in your heart to give him one of the vehicles then you may be a better person than I because I'm not sure if I could, given the history. What if (when probate is set and all) you offer to rent him one of the vehicles? Obviously that isn't what he wants, but you'd get some income but still own it to sell it when he was done with the vehicle?
Good luck!

OP: He would run it into the ground & I would end up having to go get it when he refused to pay. It's just frustrating because I like his wife & would consider doing it to help her, if he would just man up & ask. Instead, he tries to play the poor me card.

Dixieland_Insanity: INFO:
How does he know what you're inheriting from your uncles. Why does he think he's entitles to any of it?

OP: He knew my uncles fairly well since they were basically the last of my family. He doesn't really know what the full inheritance is, but the vehicles were the most obvious. He has told him no a couple of times. Everything FIL gets tight on funds he asks again.

Cdn_Giants_Fan: Not The A•H. But that said I would probably sell him one of the vehicles for its bluebook value and say pay 100 bucks a week. And if he says anything about it saybthat perhaps if you weren't such an asshat to me I would've just let you have it. Then if he starts being nice after it's partially paid off tell him hes good. He learns a lesson and you earn some money.

OP: I would never see a dime. He thinks that being "the father" means he is owed something from my husband and, by extension, me. Honestly, even if he offered me full value in cash, I would probably laugh at him & tell him to shove off.

VadersLoversLover: Gift it to your MIL with a lien on it so he can’t change to title.

OP: Due to a medical issue, she can't drive and had to surrender her license. That makes it impossible to register it in her name because she can't be insured as a driver.

 
Update #1: December 11, 2023
You guys asked for an update, so here you go. I have had a long talk with my husband about FIL & his "request" for one of the vehicles I had inherited. I showed him my original post & he got a good laugh out of some of the suggestions (especially the toy car). We have agreed that the only way to handle his constant hints & requests, is for me to draft an email to him. For reference: FIL loves to send me rude & demanding emails when he "feels unheard."
The email will not be sent until I know that probate is done & is as "polite & civil" as I can possibly write it. The jist of the email I typed up is this:
"I understand that you have been asking husband to gift you one of my uncles' vehicles. Unfortunately, you have chosen to speak to the wrong person. I have told you before that, in some things, his business is his & mine is mine. The vehicles that you keep asking about are mine. As such, I have decided that they will be sold at a fair market value. The funds will be split evenly into savings accounts for my daughters, as a seed for their futures. I already have buyers lined up for the vehicles & will be arranging times for them to be collected shortly. I hope you can understand my desire to ensure that my childrens' futures are secure, as my uncles would have wanted."
I am tempted to sign it as "husband's wife" but am undecided right now.
Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post. Your thoughts & support helped me a lot. I was genuinely on the fence as to whether or not I was being too sensitive about everything. You were all amazing & supportive about the entire mess. I just hope that this email to him puts an end to his covert begging once & for all (at least about this). And yes, my husband is behind me 100% and has no issues with my approach.
 

----NEW UPDATE----

Final Update: May 22, 2024 (five months later)
A few people have reached out to ask so here it goes.
Everything is finally settled. The vehicles are sold, except one I decided to keep for my oldest to learn on when she gets her permit.
I didn't send my FIL the email, although I do still have it saved. Turns out I won't have to. As of a few weeks ago, I am getting a divorce. My, now stbx, husband decided that he no longer wants to play house. He moved out & I am in the process of packing his things. Since the vehicles and my house were all inherited, he has no claim to them or the money from their sale. Yes I double checked the law in my state. If he would have waited a few more weeks, I would have paid off every debt we had, but he didn't. So he saved me a bunch of money by telling me before I commingled my inheritance funds with joint assets.
I don't know how his family will act towards me & our kids when he finally tells them all. His brother has called to make sure he is still allowed to keep in touch but he is the only one I've heard from so far.
Oh and as a bonus: the week before I found out about my impending divorce, my mother (who I was never close to) was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She passed away a week later. She was 58 years old, the same age my uncles were. So, yeah, it's basically just me & my kids against the world now.
Anyway, that's the update.
Relevant Comments
OOP on moving forward with her life and personal issues going on in her family especially health issues

OOP: Thank you. Its kinda sad that your kind words are enough to make me want to cry because it's expected that I am the strong one for everyone else. I don't really get to give myself time to be weak. And you are right. If it were not for my kids, I probably would have been completely broken.
My uncles had other health problems, no cancer at all that I know of & most of our family lived into their 70s and 80s. I am definitely working on getting my little health concerns checked out, though.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Am I wrong for not wanting to attend a bachelorette party when the MOH is refusing to share the itinerary until the first of two payments is received? This was a last minute plan and none of the planning was discussed with invitees before the lodging was booked and activities secured. I'm told we are staying the weekend at an airbnb local to the majority of guests invited. The MOH has sent out only individual texts, so I don’t know who else is going or how many people this is split between. I don’t know exactly what I am paying for, what time anything starts, or how this total was calculated. We are also being told we are to cover the cost of the private space for a bridal shower brunch. I’ve never, in my 5 times of being a bridesmaid, been asked to cover the cost of the bridal shower (I’m not even a bridesmaid in this wedding, just a bachelorette guest)! Am I expected to also buy a gift for the shower? Would it be wrong if I only attended the brunch or skipped the entire weekend? I asked the MOH for the itinerary, lodging info, and cost breakdown and she gave the following numbers but said she will not share full details until 1st payment is received. Cost breakdown is to cover the bride and split between an unknown # of guests. Info I was given is:
Activity $40
Lodging $350
Bridal shower $100
Shirt $20
Extra $50-100 for food/drinks
What would you do???

I, 35 female, had been in an on again off again relationship with my boyfriend, 45 male, for the last 3 years. I won't bore you with the details of how we met and what went on for the last 3 years of our relationship, I'm just going to get to the point.
Back in late September 2023, my boyfriend moved to Iowa. We had just gotten back together when he sprung that on me and I was rather upset at first but knew that he was only moving because it was for his mental health. Living in the big city can be very costly and stressful, so I understood his reasoning. I did not go with him and figured we would go our separate ways. Fast forward four months later and I get a message from him through Facebook messenger asking me to call him. I call him and learned rather quickly that he had been drinking but he was asking why I suddenly ghosted him by not replying back to his texts or calls. For context, I never blocked his number.
I told him that I did not get any of his texts or calls. He asked me why I never tried reaching out to him and I explained that I thought him moving away and not staying in contact meant the end of our relationship. We had a lengthy conversation that night and he asked me to come visit him. I told him that I will consider it but would need to build up some PTO as I had just started a new job and didn't want to risk anything during my first 90 days. We stayed in touch after that, calling each other daily and talking on the phone for hours just catching up and going over mutual interests and so on until I've built up enough PTO to go visit him.
You may wonder why I was the one to go visit him in Iowa. Firstly, he wanted me to see the town he had decided to settle in. Secondly, we had discussed resuming our relationship and possibly having me move out there as it was out of the question for him to move back to the city where I live. I understood his reasoning for moving but felt that leaving the life I have behind for him felt a bit extreme. But I kept an open mind about Iowa and went to visit (side note, there are no direct flights to where he moved to. I had to fly to Chicago, which is a 2.5 hour drive away and he had to rent a car to pick me up). I spent a four day weekend with him, and I'm not going to lie and say that it was magical and romantic because it's Iowa. Seeing him again, however, brought back all the feelings I had for him and I realized just how much I had missed him.
I honestly didn't see much during my visit as it wasn't a dense town like I would see back home, as everything was very spread out. That should have been my very first clue to the kind of life it was like. It was very quiet and peaceful, which was a change. Unlike the city where it was always busy and sirens going off in the distance was a constant, at night it's dead silent. It was definitely a change in pace and I was more or less charmed, but not impressed. My weekend visit was over before we knew it and I returned home back to the life I was most comfortable with.
My boyfriend and I resumed our daily phone calls, but I noticed our conversations began to shift towards me moving out to Iowa. And in truth I was swayed by the idea of leaving the big city for small town life, however, my biggest hesitation was job security. I work in the medical field and finding a job with my skill-sets wasn't a huge challenge aside from the lack of urgency of callbacks from the jobs I had applied to. My boyfriend reassured me that it was just how things were in Iowa, that unlike the city, the businesses moved through a system that was much slower than what I was used to. I had my doubts but then again I didn't know much about the hiring process in the mid-west. My boyfriend then said it would probably go a lot faster if I was actually in the area (which I was skeptical about but didn't comment). I knew he just wanted me there with him and, at that time, I wanted to be with him because I had truly believed that we had talked through our past issues and were now on the same wavelength of what we wanted as a couple moving forward.
Boy was I in for a rude awakening.
I literally packed up my life into my SUV. I didn't take any furniture with me knowing that what my boyfriend lacked we could always buy. It took me 3 days of driving to reach Iowa and I had never thought I'd be so happy to be in Iowa or all places, but I was. I was blinded by hopes and dreams of a happy life with the man I thought I was in love with. I should mention that I have been saving money for a down payment on a house for the last 5 years and have managed to save $20k. It has been a personal goal, not dream, for myself to be a homeowner, not because I want that white picket fence dream, but because I simply want a home that is truly MY home. I want a safe space that truly feels mine and have it reflect the type of person that I am, instead of apartments where I would have to return the space to the manufactured setting once I leave.
Now, the housing market in Iowa is relatively cheap compared to Washington. And when I saw the cheap listings, cheap as in less than $200k for a 3 bedroom 2 bath, move-in ready house I was ready to commit my new life in Iowa with my boyfriend. At first, my boyfriend was very supportive of my house hunting, he knew that it was personal goal of mine and had always said how he admired my ambition to become a home owner. I got in touch with a realtor agent who collaborated with me on what my boyfriend and I were looking for in a home. I probably saw about a dozen houses within my first 2 weeks since arriving to Iowa and I actually found a house that we both really liked. I was ready to put in an offer when my boyfriend suddenly told me that he didn't want to become a home owner, saying that it was too much of a commitment that he never wants to make.
It gave me pause, and though I was very disappointed in having to put aside a goal I made for myself, I half-heartedly agreed. It was then things started to unravel between us and his mood just quickly declined. I should note that my boyfriend has diagnosed PTSD from childhood trauma and he has a tendency to become anxious and agitated when stressed out. The days that followed I had noticed a shift in him and because he works from home, I just assumed it was because his work was stressing him out.
I tried to be a good girlfriend by staying out of his way while he was working and try to be as quiet as possible while at home. I would try to help out with small things like letting the dogs out to relieve themselves and take them on short walks. I tried to be mindful to not make a mess. Along with my boyfriend's anxiety and mental health struggles he also has OCD, and while back in Seattle I had noticed he liked to keep a clean home, out in Iowa it had become abundantly clear that the smallest mess would upset him.
His bad mood only worsened. One day, while he was folding laundry, I asked him if there was anything he'd like me to do around the house because I wanted to be helpful. He said "If you see a mess, clean it." That came off as truly strange to me.
"Do you want me to vacuum or clean the bathrooms?" I asked.
He looked at me like what I had asked was the dumbest question he had ever heard and snapped at me with: "If you see a mess, clean it. You're not 12 years old, you're not being paid an allowance to do simple chores. You're an adult, you should already know what to do."
What he said embarrassed me and made me feel so small and inferior, but it also truly angered me. Where was all this hostility suddenly coming from? I didn't want to start a fight over chores and simply helped him fold the laundry. We eventually had a talk, which turned into him going on a tangent about how he requires to keep a clean and sterile house, that "everything has its place" in the house. He then went on about not wanting the commitment of home ownership and that he has no intentions of ever returning to Seattle. He told me how all my stuff cluttering the bedroom and office is taking a toll on his mental health and that it's my job to make sure that they're all put away so he doesn't have to see them (mind you, I was still unpacking and with limited storage space the rest of my belongings are still packed away).
Then he suggested something that blindsided me. He suggested that I possibly look for my own place so that we live separately and slowly integrate into each other's lives again. It was then that I took account of all the red flags that had sprung up from before I foolishly packed up my life to be with this man that I suddenly no longer loved. It was as if a switch in me had been flipped and all those feelings of affection just left my system. I told him that what he was proposing wasn't possible because I was struggling to find employment and didn't want to waste my savings on a brand new lease, especially since I was just added onto his lease.
I tried to find a middle ground with him, especially when it came to my personal belongings. I knew that he was talking about my makeup being out on the counter. Mind you, my second day in Iowa, we had gone to Costco where I found a makeup organizer and purchased it. All my makeup fits neatly in it and isn't scattered all over the place, he just doesn't like seeing them. That still wasn't good enough for him but I had to point it out to him by saying "I live here, too. It's only fair that I should feel like this is my home."
After that, the tension between us only got worse. He would have angry outbursts over the smallest inconveniences and prioritize more on his "mental and physical health" than work on our rapidly deteriorating relationship. I'm also at fault for not trying harder to talk things out but after he suggested I find my own place I subconsciously knew our relationship was over, on top of that, I was also emotionally drained and feeling depressed.
Now moving to the present, I had finally secured a job that would be opening a clinic nearby, meaning I wouldn't have to waste gas as much and would finally be able to contribute financially to the household. When I told my boyfriend the news it was received with a rather lackluster response but I still held out hope that once I start working and be out of the house more things might mellow out. Then, over the weekend, everything fell apart.
I had woken up early because the dogs needed to go outside. I knew my boyfriend wasn't getting much sleep lately so I let him sleep in as much as possible. Once the dogs had finished relieving themselves I had the intention of going back to bed to get another hour or so of sleep but the dogs came in to disrupt that plan. My boyfriend didn't like that and got up explosively, cursing and yelling as he stomped downstairs about how he couldn't get any sleep. I go downstairs to tell him that he can go back to bed, that I forgot to feed the dogs after letting them outside and that I would take care of it. He yells at me that he would do it since he's up and then goes on a rant about how his life was disrupted ever since I arrived. Let me remind you that he wanted me there in the first place.
He blamed me for the poor sleep he's been having ever since I arrived (there is also 3 dogs sleeping in the bed with us). He blamed me for his financial woes (he took care of the bills until I found a job). He blamed me for the hit to his credit score (I took a hit as well because we were getting pre-approval for a home loan before he said he didn't want to move forward with it). Blamed me for the decline in his mental and physical health (he vapes throughout the day and his vices are scotch and ice cream). And he blamed me for his inability to focus on drawing his comic series because of his mental health decline (he's a decent artist but I can't take credit for his creative block).
While he listed off all the things I am to be blamed for and how he had made so many compromises for me I reflected back on my surprisingly short time here (3 weeks, nearing 4), I was the one who made all the compromises. I was the one who made the bigger sacrifice. I traveled half-way across the country for a man who will never make my happiness a priority. From the start of our relationship 3 years ago to now, I was the only one who had to make sacrifices just to pacify this giant man-child.
He brought up me finding my own place again and I told him that if I have to move out then I'm returning to Seattle. He didn't fight me on that but the downside is that I have to wait for my parents, who had planned to drive out this way in June from Seattle, to visit friends in Chicago. They've been made aware of the situation and will be driving out in my step-dad's pickup truck to haul back all of my belongings and we would leave together in both my step-dad;s truck and my SUV. I had emailed the hiring manager I had gone through my interview process with, letting her know that I unfortunately will be returning to Seattle due to personal circumstances.
In the meantime I have begun submitting my resume to clinics and hospitals back in Seattle and already have several interviews set up (much faster turn-around than Iowa) and hopefully soon I will have secured a job before my return home.

I’ve recently been hired and went in with my ID and my ssn card. The manager took it and I’m guessing entered me into their system. It’s been about a week and I haven’t heard back and I also found another job. What do I do?

Hello everyone, I’m applying for masters in UK with 4 years of work experience in Govt. Administration (my organisation operate Hospital/Insurance/State Social Security).
I received 3 offers for postgraduate from following universities. “My_qualifications are Bachelor of Arts in my regional language with computer application and economics as electives”

1. Health Policy, Planning & Financing from LSHTM+LSE (course is being provided jointly).
   
2. Public policy and management from SOAS.
   
3. Development studies from King’s college london.
   

Was unsuccessful from LSE and UCL (Disability, Design and Innovation MSc) is awaited.
I will be finding my entire fees on my own with some loan and family help. I’m going to lock down on LSHTM, but was just wondering and wanted to ask people here if it’s the way to go. The only reason I was open to the other 2 programs are because they have been very open and active with all kinds of help and communication while response from LSHTM and LSE have been one or two emails.
I would love to work in social security sector with NGO or public sector or any organisation or go off in hospital administration/Insurance sector.
I suffer from a hearing disability

My girlfriend wants to lose weight but has been struggling to find the motivation. She is very insecure about her body and has extremely low esteem. She tells me she hates how she can't motivate herself to go to the gym more often (I was unsure how to respond to this). She has some body fat, but is both healthy and active, and by no means does she need to lose weight. I think she looks beautiful as is! It really pains me to watch her beat herself so much over this. If she wants to be healthier, I do not want to discourage her. However, I also do not want her to feel like she is fat or that she needs to change herself for me. I cannot relate to the social pressures women experience in todays society to have a perfect body. How can I help my girlfriend become more secure about herself?
tl;dr My girlfriend is incredibly hard on herself because of her weight. How can I make her feel better?

I (23F) am a busy young adult. I am a nursing student (currently taking summer classes as well, I work nearly full-time, I volunteer with shelter kitties, I have a healthy relationship, and I try my best to balance out everything at the end of the day. I don’t do drugs or drink.
My brother (20M) is mentally ill. He recently had a manic episode in which he threatened the lives of those who live with us, peed on our house, cussed out me, cussed out my mom, stole my moms social security and opened up credit cards in her name, and ultimately, impulsively moved out. He was taking drugs and drinking daily. I was upset when my mom said she would take him back into our house. My younger brother (16M) took his room, so he’s been sleeping on the couch. But now (without asking me), they let him use my room when I am not home. This is upsetting to me. He had a stomach illness and I work in the food industry. I came home from work and he was in my bed in his underwear on the phone arguing with his girlfriend. When I got upset and told him to leave, he left cussing about having to sleep on the couch…
Also when he had his own room here it was so extremely filthy. I’m particular about cleanliness.
Fast forward to today, I spent the night at my boyfriends and I woke up to a long message saying I need to let my brother use my room as he pleases when I’m not home. My mom called me a bitch and told me I treat my mentally ill brother like an animal and when I asked her why, she said it was because I asked her if he had a job yet (he’s chronically unemployed and plays video games all day) and won’t let him use my room. She said I act as if I’m better than my siblings. She said it’s inhumane that he does not have privacy. She then focused on me not spending enough time with them, she says I spend too much of my free time with my boyfriend. I told her it is hard to spend time with someone who says I have a bitch attitude and when I asked her how, she couldn’t give me a single example. She kept going back to me being cruel for not letting my brother use my room.
I just want a space that is my own and I don’t want to kick someone out of my bed every night when I get home from work. Now, they are all calling me cruel and I am starting to think I may as well let him use my room and start saving more aggressively to move out albeit that is difficult in nursing school.
AITA?

Hi everyone,
I'm a brand-new brokeinvestment adviser rep just starting out, and having gone through multiple exams and passing them all on the first try, I thought I'd give my 2 cents on how you can pass them, hopefully in a quicker time than me! I'll go through each test and my personal experience, then I'll explain the methods I actually used and how you can customize them to your needs.
SIE - I literally had zero experience in the securities industry when I started studying. I wasn't sure what to think after the first lesson, but I found it interesting! It took me a little over 2 months to prepare (I used Kaplan for all my tests). I studied for about 2.5 to 3 hours each day, and made sure to take plenty of notes. I found the real test was actually easier than the Final and Mastery Exams. Lots of questions of options, the primary/secondary markets, investment companies and the Acts; overall a good mix.
Series 6 - Immediately started prepping the day after passing the SIE; passed it about a month later. Suitability was the key point of emphasis; I memorized the suitability chart that they gave in the textbook and that helped a ton. Real test had a lot more scenario based questions asking you to pick the right type of investment for a customer. Tbh I was feeling a little nervous for this one since I had failed the second Mastery Exam, and this was three days before my test date. The key difference between this one and the SIE was that the latter had a broad amount of material, while the 6 asked you how products actually worked. I'd say this was the second hardest for me.
Series 63 - Again, started prepping the day after passing the 6. I'm being 100% honest here, it was almost pure memorization. I memorized the exempt transactions/securities, as well as the exemptions and exclusions for broker-dealers, agents, investment advisers, and investment adviser reps by writing them down over and over again (on my laptop to save trees lol). Also, knowing the legal terms was key, because this was a state law exam by NASAA (so don't confuse their rules with FINRA's). The Mastery Exams were a breeze, and the real test was definitely the easiest out of the bunch for me.
Series 26 - Here's where things start to get tougher. The info that I'd learned from the SIE and 6 (they're prerequisites for this one) came back to me, and I had to remember that it was important to look at it from a supervisor's POV, because a lot of questions were going to be based on this (i.e. "A rep commits X, what should the principal do to handle this situation?") The material itself was stuff that had already been drilled into me, but being a 110-question test, I had to time myself to keep pace on the practice tests. On the actual test, I was able to answer all the questions within 2 hours, and that gave me enough time to do a second-run through. Not too bad all in all; for me it was a tad bit easier than the SIE.
Series 65 - Oh boy. Let me tell you guys something that'll save you a ton of headaches later on: DO. NOT. TAKE. THIS. TEST. LIGHTLY. I just passed it last week, and if it hadn't been for the countless hours of studying I'd put in, I most likely would've failed. This literally had all of the material from the previous tests, including the entirety of the 63. On top of that, it also had federal laws that needed to be recognized from the state-level ones. The Kaplan course had 24 units to cover all the material, and a little over 4200 QBank questions. A huge mistake I made was not using all of them up. After taking the 2nd Mastery and all of the practice tests, I had answered around 3000 questions. After some debating on whether I should study some more or schedule, although I was still shaky in a few areas, I decided to go for it. The real test started out easy, and by questions 30-40, I was feeling like I might fail. But I stayed calm and focused on doing my best. I was super grateful for knowing those formulas, as a couple of questions didn't ask for calculations, but simply what they were. The ones that did ask to calculate tripped me up a bit, but I made my best picks/guesses. After answering all the questions with about 50 minutes left, I changed 2 answers; one because I didn't read the question properly and the other because I found another question that helped to answer. As you can imagine, this test was easily the toughest out of them all. I was more than thankful to see that "Pass" appear after clicking "Submit".
So there's my story! Sorry for the long paragraph on the 65; I actually cut out some more sentences to try and shorten it as much as possible. To cap everything off, I'll go through the main strategies I used, and how you can customize them to your will (Although I used Kaplan, they can probably work for other programs as well).
1) Do many practice tests. After each practice test, read the explanations throughly. Understand why you got the question right or wrong. The real test will almost certainly have different wording than the prep course you're using, so understanding the concept allows you to answer correctly regardless of how the question is asked. When I was using the QBank questions, I made sure to set the custom quiz to pull unused questions from the pool, so I didn't know what would appear next.
2) Make acronyms/phrases. They can be about absolutely anything (a movie, a life experience, etc). Anything that you can connect a group of bullet points or a concept to make it easier to remember is a good thing. For instance, I was having trouble with SEP IRAs, and it kept mentioning that only the employer contributes to this type of IRA. So to help me remember, I made the phrase "Solely Employer Puts In" (the first letter of each word makes SEP and I for IRA). Any silly way to hammer that point in means you won't forget come test time.
3) Record yourself saying concepts and phrases, and put it on loop. I started doing this a bit for the 26, and a LOT for the 65. Try to say what you want to say in a minute or less (absolute max of 1min30s). Once you put your recording on loop, you can listen to it over and over again, and this actually forces the info into your brain without you having to think or work too much. After listening to each recording however many times you like, try to write down what you heard. If you can't remember, just keep playing the recording until you've got it memorized.
4) Watch YouTube videos. Please be careful with this one, and make sure you use videos that are up to date (some videos were created years ago and thus pieces of info may not be current). Series7Guru with Dean and PassMasters with Suzy Rhoades are two excellent channels to look into. You never know, these videos may just help you snag an easy point or two on your real test ;)
If you're still here after getting through this humongous post, I wish you best of luck in not just your tests, but your future careers! Take care!

Hello everyone! 🌟

I was watching the Pokimane episode, and she said something that really hit home about the need for online security information, especially for women. She mentioned how scary it is to deal with stalkers, tracking devices like AirTags, and the lack of adequate stalking regulations. This really hit home that we need to be vigilant.
As a normal girlie, I've had people try to hack my accounts and make fake profiles using my photos. It's a bit much. The law hasn't quite caught up yet, so we need to stay vigilant! Here are some tips to keep us all safe online:
This will be a long guide but it's so important to stay informed.

🌐 General Online Safety Tips

Use Strong Passwords:

• Create unique passwords for each account: Use a mix of uppercase letters, lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols.
• Avoid using easily guessable info: Steer clear of using birthdays, pet names, or other obvious choices.
• Consider using a password manager: I use 1Password, and it’s a lifesaver! A password manager securely stores and generates strong passwords for you. It was a bit of a hassle to set up, but it’s so worth it now because it helps me store everything. Plus, I can share my Netflix password and other accounts with my family easily. 🌸
• Need help setting it up? They also have great user guides here and support here if you get stuck.

Enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA):

• Extra layer of security: 2FA requires a second form of verification, like a text message or app notification, in addition to your password. It’s like having a double lock on your door, making it much harder for anyone to break in! 🔒✨
• Why it works: Even if someone gets your password, they’d still need your phone or access to the second verification step to get into your account.
• Always enable 2FA: Turn it on for accounts that offer it, especially for your email, banking, and social media. It gives your accounts an extra level of protection. 🌟
• Need help setting it up? For more details on how 2FA works and how to set it up, check out this detailed guide and JumpCloud's explanation.

Be Cautious with Personal Information:

• Avoid sharing personal details: Don't post your address, phone number, or financial information online. This info can be used by scammers or stalkers, so keep it private.
• Be mindful of social media sharing: Think twice before sharing personal updates. Make sure you know who can see your posts and adjust your privacy settings to keep things tight.
• Learn more: For additional tips on staying safe online, check out these great resources from Stay Safe Online.

📧 Email Security

Beware of Phishing Scams:

• Be cautious of unknown senders: If you get an email asking for personal info from someone you don’t know, be super sceptical. Scammers love to pretend they’re legit to trick us.
• Watch out for suspicious links and attachments: Even if it looks like it's from a friend, always double-check before clicking on anything. Phishing emails can be sneaky!
• Verify the sender: Check the email address carefully and look for signs of phishing, like bad grammar or urgent requests that seem a bit off.
• Learn more about phishing: Dive deeper into spotting phishing scams with Phishing.org.

Use Secure Email Providers:

• Choose providers with strong security measures: Popular email services like Gmail offer robust security features such as two-factor authentication, spam filtering, and protection against phishing attacks. These are great for general use and offer strong security.
• End-to-end encryption: For the highest level of privacy, consider using email providers that offer end-to-end encryption, like ProtonMail. This ensures that only you and the recipient can read the message, and not even the email provider can access it. This is particularly important if you're handling sensitive information or just want the peace of mind that your messages are truly private.
• Robust privacy policies: Ensure your email provider has a solid privacy policy that protects your personal information and doesn’t share it with third parties. Gmail has strong security, but it’s important to understand how your data is used by reading their privacy policy. ProtonMail, on the other hand, is designed with privacy as a priority and doesn’t collect or share user data.

🔒 Social Media Safety

Adjust Privacy Settings:

• Review and update regularly: Regularly check and update your privacy settings to control who can see your posts and personal information. This ensures you're always in control of your online presence.
• Limit visibility: Set your profile visibility to friends only or create a custom list of trusted people. This helps keep your personal information and posts private.

Limit Location Sharing:

• Avoid real-time sharing: For safety, avoid sharing your location in real-time. If you want to share your location, do it after you've left the place. This prevents anyone from knowing your exact whereabouts at any given moment.
• Be mindful of tagging: Be cautious about tagging your location in posts or stories. This also applies to tagging friends; make sure they're okay with sharing their location too.

Be Selective with Friend Requests:

• Accept only known contacts: Only accept friend requests from people you know in real life. This helps prevent scammers and stalkers from accessing your personal information.
• Be wary of strangers: Be cautious of friend requests from unknown people, as they often create fake profiles to gather personal information. Look out for red flags like a lack of mutual friends or minimal profile information.

🛡️ Device Security

Keeping our devices secure is just as important as online safety. Here’s how to make sure your gadgets are protected:
Keep Software Updated:

• Regular updates: Always update your devices and applications to fix security vulnerabilities. This includes your phone, computer, and any apps you use regularly.
• Enable automatic updates: Turn on automatic updates so you don’t have to worry about missing any important security patches.
• Learn more: Check out this information from US-CERT.

Install Antivirus Software:

• Use reputable antivirus software: Protect your devices from malware and other threats with reliable antivirus software. Some popular options include Norton, McAfee, and Bitdefender.
• Regular scans: Schedule regular scans and keep your antivirus software updated to ensure maximum protection.
• Read reviews: Find out which antivirus software is best for you by reading reviews from AV-TEST.

Use a VPN:

• Encrypt your connection: A Virtual Private Network (VPN) encrypts your internet connection, adding an extra layer of security, especially on public Wi-Fi networks.
• Protect your data: VPNs help protect your data from being intercepted by hackers. Some popular VPN providers include NordVPN, ExpressVPN, and CyberGhost.
• Learn more: Discover more about VPNs from NordVPN.

💬 Communication Safety

Use Encrypted Messaging Apps:

• Choose apps with end-to-end encryption: For private conversations, use apps like Signal or WhatsApp, which offer end-to-end encryption to ensure that only you and the recipient can read the messages.

Be Wary of Strangers:

• Caution with unknown contacts: If someone you don’t know tries to contact you, be cautious. Don’t share personal information or agree to meet them in person without verifying their identity.
• Learn more: Get tips from Get Safe Online.

💖 Mental Health and Safety

Seek Support:

• Reach out for help: If you’re experiencing online harassment or threats, seek help from trusted friends, family, or support organisations. Every situation is different, so it’s important to reach out to the appropriate authorities or professionals who can provide guidance specific to your circumstances.

Remember, your safety is paramount. I could yap all day about this, but for all of us (the girls, the gays, the theys) who are more susceptible to harm, the law doesn't usually catch up until tragedy strikes. So let's stay vigilant! 🌟💖

My first launch! Would love to hear back 😄
🌐 Welcome to DMhere! 🌐
Thrilled to launch DMhere – your new go-to platform for direct messaging on public forums. Simplified, efficient, and secure. Discover it now!
🔗 https://www.dmhere.com/
Why use DMhere?

• Job Seekers and Recruiters: Share your DMhere link on public forums or social media profiles to allow potential employers to contact you directly, or manage communications with multiple candidates securely.
• Online Communities and Forums: Communicate privately with other members without revealing your personal contact details, maintaining your privacy and security.
• Event Organizers and Attendees: Manage inquiries and communications with attendees, or network with other participants without sharing personal email addresses or phone numbers.
• Classified Ads and Marketplaces: Include your DMhere link in ads to handle inquiries from potential buyers securely, or negotiate without revealing personal contact information.
• Freelancers and Clients: Communicate with clients from various forums and job boards, ensuring all conversations are kept private and secure. We'd love to hear your thoughts! Your feedback is invaluable in helping us improve and grow. Please leave your feedback and suggestions after exploring the platform.

You can reach out to me directly here: https://www.dmhere.com/rdahale/9bd8

DMhere #Tech #DirectMessaging #Feedback

I’m in the process of figuring out my mother’s life so I can get her into more assistance programs while she’s in hospice.
Today, I found her social security paperwork that lists out the income you’ve made every year.
I found that before she even got married, there were two separate three-year periods where she made zero income. She has never mentioned anything that would explain this. I’m starting to think there are a lot more secrets that no one is telling me.

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Did you file online using quick submit or as an increase or as a secondary?
Did you mail the forms in?
I was gathering information and getting familiar with requirements to be eligible for TDIU.
Currently have the VA rating percentage requirements to be eligible.
In the past, have a completed CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ) program related to chronic pain from intense migraines.
Have access to Social Security work history through the SSA website
I remember my last 5 years of work, with address and Human Respurce Number. Was able to work so long there because it was a VA job in a protected environment.
I could always see a VSO, however there are many stories about a VSO not submitting the correct forms and wasting a veteran’s time waiting for a claim that will just be denied.
Called an attorney and they suggested I submit the claim myself and see if approved. If denied I could call them back since they specialize in appeals and supplemental claims
So for those that filedTDIU yourself. What was your story? Thank you for your time

So my installation has been doing random vehicle searches of approximately 10-20% of all vehicles that come through the 5 gates that grant access to this base. Apparently something about the MP's receiving a tip that someone has been sneaking people onto base in their trunk. Anyways that's besides the point, but not at the same time.
I am making a big vehicle purchase tomorrow and to get to the dealership it is faster for me to cut through the installation than to go around it to get to the dealership. Anyways I am withdrawaling $25,000 for a down payment from my bank (yes I know I could do a check or what not) but this dealership has been a little petty with me in terms of the price of the car so I'm going to be petty back, and the bank has already assured me that they do have the bills for me to withdraw $25,000 in cash. My question is if my vehicle were to be searched randomly do I need to inform the MP or Security Guard searching my vehicle of the large sum of cash in my vehicle? And I guess most importantly am I even allowed to come onto the installation with this much cash on hand? I will have a receipt on hand showing the withdrawal amount and time it was performed. Also just for clarification I will be going straight from the bank to the dealership after the withdrawal with no stops in between, and the only other person who will know I have that much cash on hand is my wife.

Hello everyone, I’m an international applicant from India with 4 years of work experience in Govt. Administration (my organisation operate Hospital/Insurance/State Social Security).
I received 3 offers for postgraduate from following universities (for information I have done Bachelor of Arts in my regional language with computer application and economics as electives):-

1. Health Policy, Planning & Financing from LSHTM+LSE (course is being provided jointly).
   
2. Public policy and management from SOAS.
   
3. Development studies from King’s college london.
   

Was unsuccessful from LSE and UCL (Disability, Design and Innovation MSc) is awaited.
I will be finding my entire fees on my own with some loan and family help. I’m going to lock down on LSHTM, but was just wondering and wanted to ask people here if it’s the way to go. The only reason I was open to the other 2 programs are because they have been very open and active with all kinds of help and communication while response from LSHTM and LSE have been one or two emails.
I would love to work in social security sector with NGO or public sector or any organisation or go off in hospital administration/Insurance sector.
I suffer from a hearing disability

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