Hey, I'm new to this platform... I'm subscriber of telegram channel "jeeneetardsreddit", where I saw a lot of exam related stories and thought of sharing mine too!
Okay so iss saal mere boards the, and I'm neet dropper. Neet me mera score 186 ban raha h(that's very bad) and boards me around 60%+ aa rahe hain...english me 95 and baki subjects me 60 bhi nahi hain...i don't know itne kam kese hai...I'm also in shock...like mene at least boards k liye pdha tha aur mene bio, physical education me 90+ score ka target rkha tha aur honestly mene paper aakar check nahi kiya(abhi bhi nahi kar sakti as question papers misplace hogye hai...agar pta hota ye sab hoga to tbhi krleti!) but jinme doubt tha ki ye questions galat honge...wo mene check kiye the aur sahi the...so i was expecting 80%+ in boards(itne batane me bhi sharam aati thii but yaha to rapid declination hogya)...my parents are saying ki tumne 2 saal kya kiya..tumse kuch nahi hoga...21 ki hojao shaadi kara denge blah blah...nobody's believing ki mera exam acha hua tha..they're asking ki recheck karana h to batao...but itni baate sun kar I'm not confident enough ki iss sabke baad mai apne papa ka pesa waste karau(what if mere marks aur kam hogye to? What if koi fayda hi nhi raha?)...lol mujhe puri 12th ki physics aati thi and really I'm more intelligent than some of my friends jo 80+ score kar rahe h...i really don't know mere score card ke saath kya hua haii...plus recheck karane ka confidence bhi nhi(shayad mene hi exam me galat likha hoga..)and about English ...mai 90+ score kar rahi thi...but 95 dekh kar I'm shocked! Bhayi itne zyada kese...mene sirf 2 din english padhi h..:) Idk what to do...just felt like sharing!

Nta jee/neettards ki to baja ke rkhta hi hai is baar cuetards ki bhi bajayi 1. Aiso ki duty ki lga rkhi hai jinhe pata hi nahi hai ki bacho ko chorna hai ki nahi, meri invigilator ko literally laga ki hame 4 hr class me hi baitha ke rkhna hai(skipping afternoon meal) matlab sach me bc? 2. Exam se 5 min pehle ye signature ka bhaang bhosda krna chahiye, ek to bc 45 min upar se OMR saath me main sign bhi use me karu. 3. There was a error in 5 min in literally every centre OMR 5 min pehle se le liya gya(40 min me science domain ka exam usme main OMR bharu, numerical karu or tumhare sign bhi karu) Wah bc

NTAKMKB

Currently scoring around 180 to 200 agar kisi ke iss range mei marks h toh pls dm me . Looking for someone who's on the same boat ,will be targeting 2nd attempt cus i don't think i can score much in 1st attempt. Max to max 3/4 people zyada nahi
Try karenge saath mei target set kare day to day. Saath mei motivatiion milega thoda.can make a group wherever u r comfortable.
Aur pls thoda chill aur helpful rehna saath mei rant bhi kar sake.

help! my invigilator did not take my admit card at the end of the exam! yeh kisi aur ke saath hua tha? also, if hua tha toh kya kuch farak padta hain?

Basically the title please help kardo ki test centre details ke saath self declaration hona chahiye ya alag alag. Please help me out quickly kyuki Ghar se centre bahut door Diya hai NTA bhadwe ne

kuuteh saleh bhen ke laudeh teri maa ki chut bosdiwaleh teri mayiaa ka bur chodu badwa salaa madar chood ka pilla randi ka baal machr ki jhaat chipkili ke taate gobar putr kuttiya ka pila baapchoda betichod chachi chod mama chod randi ka aulaad sala haram zada suur jahnt ke baal bakri chod chua chod randhwa raand ja jaamai chut marikeh lavda lavdeh ke baal kutaa ke luli bakri ki chut chipkili ke aand randi baaz kukur chod maai ka choda tera bhen ka choda bur phtleh chud ke 100 baap ka chuda hua kutta ka pila hua naali ka keeda taateh massina bur ke chatel chodu bhagat chut mari ka chut ka pilaa gaand ka sodagar chucci chusneh waleh jhaat ka bhaaji land peh chdeh ja kuuteh saleh bhen ke laudeh teri maa ki chut bosdiwaleh teri mayiaa ka bur chodu badwa salaa madar chood ka pilla randi ka baal machr ki jhaat chipkili ke taate gobar putr kuttiya ka pila baapchoda betichod chachi chod mama chod randi ka aulaad sala haram zada suur jahnt ke baal bakri chod chua chod randhwa raand ja jaamai chut marikeh lavda lavdeh ke baal kutaa ke luli bakri ki chut chipkili ke aand randi baaz kukur chod maai ka choda tera bhen ka choda bur phtleh chud ke 100 baap ka chuda hua kutta ka pila hua naali ka keeda taateh massina bur ke chatel chodu bhagat chut mari ka chut ka pilaa gaand ka sodagar chucci chusneh waleh jhaat ka bhaaji land peh chdeh ja kuuteh saleh bhen ke laudeh teri maa ki chut bosdiwaleh teri mayiaa ka bur chodu badwa salaa madar chood ka pilla randi ka baal machr ki jhaat chipkili ke taate gobar putr kuttiya ka pila baapchoda betichod chachi chod mama chod randi ka aulaad sala haram zada suur jahnt ke baal bakri chod chua chod randhwa raand ja jaamai chut marikeh lavda lavdeh ke baal kutaa ke luli bakri ki chut chipkili ke aand randi baaz kukur chod maai ka choda tera bhen ka choda bur phtleh chud ke 100 baap ka chuda hua kutta ka pila hua naali ka keeda taateh massina bur ke chatel chodu bhagat chut mari ka chut ka pilaa gaand ka sodagar chucci chusneh waleh jhaat ka bhaaji land peh chdeh ja kuuteh saleh bhen ke laudeh teri maa ki chut bosdiwaleh teri mayiaa ka bur chodu badwa salaa madar chood ka pilla randi ka baal machr ki jhaat chipkili ke taate gobar putr kuttiya ka pila baapchoda betichod chachi chod mama chod randi ka aulaad sala haram zada suur jahnt ke baal bakri chod chua chod randhwa raand ja jaamai chut marikeh lavda lavdeh ke baal kutaa ke luli bakri ki chut chipkili ke aand randi baaz kukur chod maai ka choda tera bhen ka choda bur phtleh chud ke 100 baap ka chuda hua kutta ka pila hua naali ka keeda taateh massina bur ke chatel chodu bhagat chut mari ka chut ka pilaa gaand ka sodagar chucci chusneh waleh jhaat ka bhaaji land peh chdeh ja kuuteh saleh bhen ke laudeh teri maa ki chut bosdiwaleh teri mayiaa ka bur chodu badwa salaa madar chood ka pilla randi ka baal machr ki jhaat chipkili ke taate gobar putr kuttiya ka pila baapchoda betichod chachi chod mama chod randi ka aulaad sala haram zada suur jahnt ke baal bakri chod chua chod randhwa raand ja jaamai chut marikeh lavda lavdeh ke baal kutaa ke luli bakri ki chut chipkili ke aand randi baaz kukur chod maai ka choda tera bhen ka choda bur phtleh chud ke 100 baap ka chuda hua kutta ka pila hua naali ka keeda taateh massina bur ke chatel chodu bhagat chut mari ka chut ka pilaa gaand ka sodagar chucci chusneh waleh jhaat ka bhaaji land peh chdeh ja kuuteh saleh bhen ke laudeh teri maa ki chut bosdiwaleh teri mayiaa ka bur chodu badwa salaa madar chood ka pilla randi ka baal machr ki jhaat chipkili ke taate gobar putr kuttiya ka pila baapchoda betichod chachi chod mama chod randi ka aulaad sala haram zada suur jahnt ke baal bakri chod chua chod randhwa raand ja jaamai chut marikeh lavda lavdeh ke baal kutaa ke luli bakri ki chut chipkili ke aand randi baaz kukur chod maai ka choda tera bhen ka choda bur phtleh chud ke 100 baap ka chuda hua kutta ka pila hua naali ka keeda taateh massina bur ke chatel chodu bhagat chut mari ka chut ka pilaa gaand ka sodagar chucci chusneh waleh jhaat ka bhaaji land peh chdeh ja kuuteh saleh bhen ke laudeh teri maa ki chut bosdiwaleh teri mayiaa ka bur chodu badwa salaa madar chood ka pilla randi ka baal machr ki jhaat chipkili ke taate gobar putr kuttiya ka pila baapchoda betichod chachi chod mama chod randi ka aulaad sala haram zada suur jahnt ke baal bakri chod chua chod randhwa raand ja jaamai chut marikeh lavda lavdeh ke baal kutaa ke luli bakri ki chut chipkili ke aand randi baaz kukur chod maai ka choda tera bhen ka choda bur phtleh chud ke 100 baap ka chuda hua kutta ka pila hua naali ka keeda taateh massina bur ke chatel chodu bhagat chut mari ka chut ka pilaa gaand ka sodagar chucci chusneh waleh jhaat ka bhaaji land peh chdeh ja

I don't understand wtf is going or nta chup kyu he ...itni shaanti kyu he nta ki taraf se?Kal exam hai bhai Kisi ka toh 10 baje se hai lekin abhi tak admit card access nhi ho pa rahe he what kind of management is this?? next about delhi postponed and aab normalisation hoga Bro fuck NTA 13 lakh bacho ke saath khel rahe he mc Guys me toh Beth ke padh leta hu kabhi bhi kuch bhi ho sakta he

So yesterday board exams came out . I didn't know because my father took my phone with him(I don't know why) and I woke up late. My bestie called me and told me that results are out so I checked my result on my mom's phone. I got 87% and got scolded by her which I deserved. I called my dad from my mom's phone and told him the result and he was happy and it and congratulated me. At about 2 when he came back he assured me that I scored good. Then I got a call from by bestie on my mom's phone ( my phone was in my dad's office switched off) that all the students have came to school with sweets and meeting teachers, and asked me we should go too. I asked my dad if I can go he totally denied saying kya karna hai jaake, tumhari dost ke 75% aaye hai vo kyu itna kar rhi hai jaane ke liye. I didn't say anything as I don't expect than to let me go ANYWHERE. Me and my bestie have been making a plan to hangout to a mall, play on trampoline there, eat something and come back and our one more female friend would go with us . I asked him in evening about this and he totally denied. Ulta daantne lag gye. Maine kaha aap hi chor dena aap le lena bas hum teen ladkiyan hai. He shouted on me and kehte abhi toh Agra hoke aaye hai(Mera Mann bhi nhi tha). Before you say itna toh sabke karte hai , they have NEVER allowed me to hangout anywhere even with only girls boys ka toh sawaal hi nhi hai . Main almost ab college main hu muje laga ab toh kahi jaane denge. Par nahi school bhi nhi jaane de rhe teachers ko mithai Dene ke liye ki tumari dost ke 75% aaye hai usko kyu itni Khushi ho rhi hai. I have always seen my friends hanging out with eachother but I have never spent any time with my friends other than school . Aakhri baar main apni bestie last board ke exam main mili thi. 10th Main kehte the 12th main jaane denge . Ab 12th bhi ho gye, result bhi ho gye admission bhi ho gya fir bhi nhi . Mera kabhi boyfriend nhi Raha hai na koi hai aur na hi maine kabhi koi aisi har harkat ki hai ki unko Shak bhi ho. Ek 11th main tuition thi school ke paas Jana pe main padti bhi thi aur friends bhi the par ek baar paas ke ek book shop pe apni friend ke saath gayi thi toh unhone woh bhi churwadi aur colony main koi tuition lagwa di . They don't even let me go to to a shop with my friend. Meri ek friend apni friends ke saath Amritsar gyi hai aur baaki bhi saare bacche kahi na kahi gye hai par sirf main hi hu jo kahi nhi Jaa sakti. I cried a lot last night ki kya reason hai ki Ghar se nahi nikalne dete aur kyu nhi nikalne dete and I got my eyes swollen this morning. I don't know mere hi parents aise kyu hai . Kyu mujhpe itna Shak karte hai and more thing that I forgot to tell that I'm almost in college and I still have to submit my phone at night to my parents.

Guys mera ek subject ka test centre ya timings mentioned hee nahi hai Kisi aur ke saath bhi hua hai kya?

Bc kitni bhi koshish Karu ,nhi bhul paa rhi use .Uski smell , uske saath padhe hue chapters ,uski baaten ,sb yaad hai .1.5 years ho gye uski shakal dekhe , use mujhse ghanta kabhi koi fark pda , uski kuch antics se vaapas delusion me aa jati thi ki probably vo bhi kuch sochta hoga ,well , mat Mari gyi thi meri.Insta pe use stalk kar kar ke usse ajeeb sa parasocial attachment bna liya hai where I know his entire kundali without him telling me ,his taste in women(jisse main koson dur hu), everything about his college(I've become an expert at iit now). Neet khatm ho gya, use batane ki formality bhi kr li(aur bekar ke 1 ghante ki baaten🤡) ,ab khatm ho jaye ye .I can't listen to the music I like cause it reminds me of him , bhul jana chahu to bhi papa bhi use ek fortnight me mention kr hi dete hai (vhi in sab fasad ki jad hai) , universe hi har cheez mujhe use bhulne hi nhi deti .I wish vo kbhi mujhse aise baat nhi krta .Uske compassion aur empathy ne meri maar li . College jaungi is sal to shayad koi aur mil jaye ,but I still wish to eradicate his memories forever .

Mujhse yeh post proceed nai ho Raha, but I'll try.
Bro apne connection ke saath khush rehne ke badle this aakriti is legit always trying to screw Digvijay over?! And meanwhile Jashwanth blindly what, supports her and does nothing else in the show?
Why does someone matter in your life so much that you would rather sabotage them than nurture your own connection?
Also. It disgusts me that aakriti is not a girls' girl. She's comes across as the kind who would smirk in class at the new introvert new girl and bully her. Demeaning another contestant just to get back at Digvijay? Every time I think the girl can't hit a new low, she does.
Let's hand it to her for being the torchbearer of the entitled self obsessed pompous loud crass brat - joining the likes of subuhi Joshi and Nikita bhamidipati

Guys i have something to say , i have lost all respect for siwet , i hate him even more than Akriti now . Why? i will explain in points 1. He dumped Nayera on national television while he was the one who started things with her 2. He made Nayera feel terrible all this while 3 . I finally understand Nayera’s anger towards Siwet , imagine being on national television, someone starts showing love for you , you fall for the person, you actually get serious , you get dumped , that too on national television just because you confront the person for saying they didn’t find you hot and the connection is just for show. 4. Now if you guys remember even while leaving Nayera had feelings for siwet while siwet didn’t shed a tear nor actually say something meaningful before she left . 5. Nayera cane out and got to know he dis the same with akriti , tried to form a connection 6. Nayera sharef certain intimate moments woth siwet , which apparently for siwet wasn’t a huge deal but it was for Nayera. 7. Now the person keeps on denying anything was there , imagine nayeras anger, actual reason of her anger wasnt why siwet did what he did , but i was always about why didnt he accept it . NGL anyone would be mad 8 . Now between lakshay siwet and anickaa, lakshay is obviously wrong , i already said in this sub before that he isn’t a green flag , he’s just another average guy . I hated how he kept taking anick’s name everywhere in a bad light , and in the show i freakin hated how he talked to Anicka 9. Also when Anicka cried , why didn’t lakshay once come and talk to her , kitne gire hue ho bhai ? or drame ke lie diamond h ye h wo h , dikh gya ab 10. Lakshay is nothing but a hawabaaz jo bs bate bolta h . Siwet se kuch ni lad pata or anicka se akele me disrespectfully bat krta . i mean grow up! 11. baki the way he is trigerred, obviously yashika is his girlfriend, shame on him for still participating in splits. 12. Coming to the person red color was invented for . Siwet once again defamed not just one but two girls online .firstly yashika , the way he talked about anicka in his live , i am disgusted. 13. saying stuff like bar bar anicka ka call a rha h , i am breaking up with her , mujhe esi ladki ke sath ni rehna , ab mujhe in log ki ladai se koi mtlb ni hai kuch bhi kare. Bro mtlb live pe tu kya dikhana chahta hai , anicka is desperate for you , and tujhe ni rehna uske saath , bhai he sucks . esa kese krskta koi kisi ke sath . imagine the embarrassment for Anicka , These are personal matters man . Stop fucking selling yourself for some views . Bechari Anicka kare kya ? I’m proud of her today , she didnt lose her calm after constant hate from both lakshay and siwet fans and now when siwet brokeup she didn’t shit about him on live. Didn’t make it ugly . So respect for her 14. Now is when anicka would actually be TRAUMATISED. 15. Hence nayera was right when she said , tera sath jo hai wo zyada traumatise krega Honorable Clown Mention: Loving how akriti’s clown fan pages on the basis of what siwet said , are making reels that what about when digvijay spoke ill about Akriti 🤡 And akriti so full of herself is sharing them and enjoying the sudden sympathy, lol have a spine , siwet was the one harassing you a while back, and people like digvijay and sachin were actually in support of her . Also in courtroom they were supposed to bring out stuff about one another , yashika hasnt agreed to participate in the show so digvijay is absolutely right in taking stand for this .

I am a 2024 batch passout, joined a company as an intern in January 2024 through campus placements. Today (13th May) I had taken a leave as office decided not to give a holiday to cast a vote. I had informed my manager this on last Friday that I'll be out of station on Monday. Even then he called today and asked if I can come to office by 2 pm. I explained to him that I was on leave and even if I try I won't be able to come to office before 6 pm. To which he replied, " Why? In that case you can forget your PPO" . The manager has been acting unprofessional with me and one other friend from the same college in the company when we had taken leaves for our End Sems. He said that we were wasting company's money by taking leaves for exams. Even though we had informed the HR in the initial stages of interview that we would certainly require leaves for our exams. My voting center was like 80 km from my PG and when I got back today evening me and my Friend had got a mail from the HR saying that our internships will be ending on this weekend even though the the LOI and Offer letter said that the intership would last till June 22.
Update: The Manager gave me a cold shoulder today at the office. I informed my mentor and previous manager about this to which they said, " yaha Aisa hi hota hai non-gujju logo ke saath" and told me not to take it personally. Also had a discussion with the HR in which she said that if I like I can get my internship extended for a month or 2 and then maybe I can get a PPO ,which I politely declined. Took a leave till 17 and gave my I'd card to another friend which she will submit it on the 17th. Gave my team members a treat and I'm finally going home tomorrow after 7 months. Also thanks to everyone that replied and gave me the courage to deal with this.

Namste sabhi ko mai mai ek jee aspirant hu and mai mhuje bas interest hai kafi politics waghera me aise koi motive nhi hai ki upsc karna hai bus Mai ye puchna chahta hu ki kya mai jee ke saath thoda thoda maze ke liye syllabus padh sakta hu upsc ka heavy nhi sirf short time ke liye mai break me phone use karta hu usse accha knowledge lena chatha hu ek din mai dada ji ke saath baitha tha or mai psychology waghera dekh leta hu tho unko aise kuch cheezein batayi tho unko accha laga bus yahi puch na tha ki kya mai thode amount me kuch interest ke liye padh sakta hu jee ke saath saath phone dekhne se accha hai ig sorry mai ik gali khaunga harkaton pe par Mann hai kripaya guide kardjiye 🙏

To 11 me padhne ka drama karti thi , padhti nhi thi even though mere paas online batch day 1 se tha , 1 week delay Kiya socha boards ke result ayenge tab padhna start karenge , 1 week ka backlog ab ek saal ka ban chuka hai . 11 me maine physics me bass NLM tak kiya hai physics me , chemistry me periodic table , maths me kuch bhi nhi . Ab daily 2 lectures 11 ke 2 lectures 12 ke dekh Rahi taaki October Tak syllabus cover hojaye . Question practice karne ka samay nhi mil raha hai (par daily 1-2 ghanta nikal sakte hai ) oneshots nhi dekhne hai mujhe jee advanced me acha score chahiye, hard work karne ko tayyar hai hum , 2 mahine se daily 10 ghante ke aas paas padh rahe , planning to extend it to 16-17 hrs . Be brutally honest is jee still possible for me ? Din me average kitne questions Karu ? Maths ko kaise handle kare ? question dekh ke hi Darr lagta hai maths me . Physics me Electrostatics ke concepts ache se aate hai mujhe advanced ke question ban Gaye the jab diagrams pehle se given the par question decode karke diagram visualise karne me problem hoti hai kya karu ? Worst of all ISC (icse) se hu so koi ISC ka senior hai to please help , Shakespeare ko Jee prep ke saath kaise manage Karu ?

its gonna be a long trauma dump.
im 19f, appeared in 12th this year, this would be my first drop. vaise to iss sun pe lurker rehti thi, aaj laga maybe kuch bol hi du to atleast relief rahega kisko dhang se bataya to. vaise to life meri bekar nhi hai overall dekha jaye to. yaha pe logo ka padho bc achhi lagne lagti hai life, and phir agle din vahi rr.
i was five almost, jb mere nana ne pehli baar mujhe touch kiya tha. mummy papa ka office rehta tha and bhaiya ka school to akele chhodne ki jagah nana ko bula lete the vo log ki mera dhyaan rakhe. achha dhyan rakhe the (apna lolzzz). now that i think about the movements and the way he'd shake afterwards, pyare nanaji was most probably cumming in his dhoti holding his five year old granddaughter on his thigh. (i mean, ladke shayad better jaane, kabhi kisi se detail mein puchha nhi iss baare mein. after it had got some action and y'all are ejaculating, do you guys like, freeze for a bit a breathe hard? agar nhi to im sorry for the wrong allegations). anyways that happened for a while. uske baad ka mujhe kuch yaad nhi. tbh ye bhi nhi yaad tha, until 3-4 saal pehle jb i read a similar scene in a book and ye yaad aaya phir shock mein chali gayi. had two beautiful frnds jinko bataya iss baare mein and they tried to help me out as best as they could. andar se ye bhi lagta tha ki mummy ko kabhi pata bhi chala to nahi manengi, isiliye parents se thoda grudge rehta tha and ladti jhagadati rehti thi.
fast forward to present, mai apne best friend ke saath relationship mein aa gayi and slowly but surely, he made a great impact on my relationship with my family. like uski uske parents ke saath achhe relations hain and ladka bhi sahi hai (haa pyar krti hu usse, mar jaungi ek din) to convince kr liya mujhe ki mere parents bhi pasand krte hain mujhe. and tb se mere relations meri family ke saath significantly improve hue. i even started to trust them.
to kya hai na, mummy and nana ki jamti nhi hai (he's neither a good husband nor a good father), isiliye mummy unse baat nhi krti. ek din recently mummy unhi ke baare mein upset thi and maine mummy se bol diya ki "uss aadmi se to mujhe nafrat hai. royi hu bestfriend ko batate hue" and mummy was like mujhe batao but mana kar di ki abhi nhi.
agle din she came to me and said ki unhe raat mein neend nhi aa rahi thi ye sochte hue ki aisa unhone kya kar diya ki I don't trust her but trust my frnds? phir bohot bolne pe mai unhe puri baat bata di (utni detail mein nhi obviously) and she was very supportive. boli ki "maa baap important hote hain par bachcho se zyada nhi. mai to vaise bhi unhe ghar na bulati but ab to sawal hi nhi uthata. shakal nhi dekhungi unki". and mai apne room mein aake rone lagi ki maine apni maa ko galat samjha ki vo mujhpe yakeen nhi karengi.
then agle din, i think jb mai ghar pe nhi thi tb mummy bhaiya ko ye baat batayi and he told her abt how once i confessed to him i was a lesbian (bisexual boli thi but lauda hai), and pata nhi kaise, mummy ko convince kr doya ki im making this whole story up for sympathy and to seem cool.
mummy aayi and mujhse boli ki "tum jo batayi ho, vo sach mein hua hai ya jo tum ghatiya books padhti ho, uski vajah se dimag mein baitha li ho ki mere saath bhi kuch galat hua hai?" and phir asked me abt that lesbian wala and told me ki inhi sab vajah se my face has lost its innocence and mai kuch nahi kar paayi hu. kaise i didn't deserve the marks i got in boards and sabka entrance exam tha but sab ek event mein aa rahe the but tumne kuch padha nhi tha isiliye nhi aayi (true but jisko neet dena hota vo aise bhi na aata). and how she feels ashamed and unsafe to go out with me varna i would wander off with "bhaiya log". that other girls of my age look smart and innocent and good even of they're fat. and gori ladkiyo ka chehra nhi pink hai, but you have yellowish tone and you never look smart, tumhare andar vo cheez hi nhi. she ended her speech with, "tumhari vajah se maine apne baap ko galat samjha. agar tum jhoote ilzam laga rahi ho to uska anjam dikhega." and then very lightly said, as if she didn't believe it, "aur agar mere baap ne kuch kiya hoga to bhagwan batayenge."
since that day, i haven't been able to look at my family the same way. the love, trust and respect i had for them seems gone. uss din ke baad mummy achhe se baa ki but bhul nhi paa rahi unn words ko. isse pehle bhi aisa bohot kuch boli hain vo jo bura laga tha but ye Dil tod diya. i can't believe my first heartbreak is from my mother itself.
isse pehle bhi she'd questioned my character. mai maanti hu, mai chutiye bachchi thi. nhi samjhti thi kuch. school bus mein achhe bhaiya log mile the to sabko achha samajhti thi and apne age ke logo se ghul mil nhi paati thi. isiliye almost got tricked by a senior jo uss time 11th mein the (i was in 6th, koi dost nhi tha to attention ki bhukhi rehti thi). uske liye mummy branded me as "characterless". I WAS IN SIXTH, NHI PATA THA MUJHE KUCH. phir ek baar humlog kahi gaye the and mummy dusri seat pe chali gayi mujhko leke jbki meri dost pichhe ki seat pe thi. i tried going to her to uss time to mummy bas gusse se dekhi but ghar aake boli ki how im such a bad daughter, achhe ghaf ki ladkiya sirf apne mummy papa ke paas rehti hain but tumko to matakna rehta hai. tumhare jaisi ladkiyo ko characterless rehte hain, kisi ki nhi hoti hain. (this was in class 9th).
ho sakta hai mai apna side leke dekh rahi hu isiliye mai khud ko sahi samajh rahi. but galti kya ki maine ye to koi achhe se explain karo???
recent ye nana wala batane ke baad to bas yahi manati hu roz bhagwan se ki maar daale mujhe. sach nata rahi, jb dekhega na koi sirf meri mummy papa aur bhaiya ko saath mein, to itne perfect lagte hain. and mai manhoos ki yarah aa jaati hu beech mein. (mumma thinks ki mera chehra normal rehne pe mahoos lagta hai, i should be smiling har samay varna apni life barbaad ke dungi aisi shakal bana ke).
marne ka ya relapse krne ka (i used to self harm) roz mann krta hai, but apni best friend aur apne bf ke baare mein sochke ruk jaati hu. sach mein doni pagal pyaar krte hain mujhse. bestfriend ki life already laudi ho rakhi hai, aur nhi pareshan krna, bf ki life mein pehle hi bohot trauma the, ab badhane ka mann nhi. i promised him I'd helo him heal.
ab 15 aur 16 ko cuet hai but padha nhi hai kuch and pata nhi kaise niklega. nikalka bhi zaruri hai varna home life aur fucked up ho jaayegi plus ghar se niklungi to insabme dimag nhi lagega.
samajh nhi aa raha kaise padhu ab, aakhiri din bacha hai, sab kuch padha hai but revise krna hai. idk bhai, higheay sach mein sundar lagne laga hai (srsly)
edit: aaj matashree ko therapy de rahi thi. and pata chala she has shit communication skills and she meant to say ki hopefully ye sab mera vehem hai but boldi kuch aur. and batayi mumma bhaiya bhi bola ho sakta hai vehem ho but he cried when he first heard it. matashree se phir ladi khub ki baat nhi krne aata achhe se ro rahi hu kb se. tumlogo ke comments+ mummy se baat krke jo relief Mila hai na, thankyou yaar. literally verge of suicide se happy kr diye ho.

[Throwaway account] [Long post]
17M. Today cbse boards result came out. And I got 68% and I feel devastated.
I tried to do jee coaching and school simultaneously but I couldn't. I used to feel sleepy in classes so much that my eyes felt like burning. I was just not interested in this rat race.
My father is the most toxic person I've ever met. He doesn't even talk to strangers with respect or politely. I couldn't clear jee and my father scolded me a lot and today he said even more stuff that I couldn't take in.
I got horrible percentile in JEE. I know this is not the end of life and these grades don't define someone's potential or life. I accept I couldn't perform well and learnt my lesson through bad decisions.
But aaj papa ne bola "tera ky hoga, pura future barbad krliya h", "2 saal kuch pdhai nhi kiya bas phone chalaya, game khela, timepass kiya", "har ek exam me fail hogya", "ab aage ki padhai chhod de, labour ka kaam kr ky krega pdh kr", "5 lakh barbaad krdiya school or coaching me".
I wasn't like this always. Maine 8th tak boht competitions, olympiads wagera kiya h. Mujhe nhi pata mai jee coaching kyu le liya. Ky hogya mere saath mujhe nhi pata.
He called me and said "apna laptop and phone tod de aur photo khich kr bhej". Kyu todu mai apna phone jab maine freelancing krke khud ke paise se kharida th.
I'm not joking but he called me "ch*tiya and mc" too for not scoring good marks. He even scolded my mother and sister for all this. Bas yahi bolte raha ki mat kr aage ki padhai, sab barbad krliya h ab mera kuch nhi hoga kahi.
Aaj pehli bar saalo baad meri aankho se aasu aagye. Aaj mere se control nhi hua aur mai chhat pr jakr silently andr se cry kr rh th.
He has his ego problem and anger issues. Idk what's his problem. Hamesha se aisa toxic behaviour raha h. Kabhi game khelne nhi diya to jab bhi time milta th bachpan me mai game khelte rhta th kyuki brain aisa sochta th ki ghr me nhi h yeh abhi jitna marji khel leta.
Bachpan me cash me paise diye th aur bola rkhne and maj spend krdiya kyuki bhai bachha th curiosity thi. To jis din pata chala jhapad mar diya and bache hue cash phad diye.
To ab dar lgta h kuch krne se. Mai kahi bahar nhi jata hoon ghumne ya kuch khane. Aaj tak restaurant nhi gya. Bs ek bar dosto ke sath movie dekhne gya hoon Oppenheimer. Ek do bar cafe me gya hoon dost ke sath. Sab apne hi paiso se pay kiya hoon. Pocket money ka concept hi gayb h mere ghr me. School wale goa trip pr legye but 15k mai mangne se ghabra rh th to nhi gya.
Ab weird sa introvert bn gya hoon. Dost birthday party pr ya ghumne bulate h to mai nhi jata kuch bahana krdeta hoon. Female interaction to hai hi nhi ab.
Ek din meri didi ka pata nhi sayd result acha nhi aaya th to bola ki books road pr lejakr jala de. Mai chhota th tab.
Aaj to bole meri mummy ko ki mujhe ghr se bhaga de.
He never accepts constructive critisism about him. For him other's opinions and views dont matter. He only boasts how much money he has spent on education and shit.
Heck he never gave his BA exam himself. Someone else wrote instead of him.
Ky aisa behaviour acceptable bhi hai aaj ki society me? I think he's psychotic and needs a psychiatrist. Like wtf man.
Kahi se koi support nhi mil rh mujhe. Bs lg rh andar se toot gya hoon aur ab kuch nhi h jeene ko. Bs mera friend mujhe support kr rh kyuki uske bhi kam percentage aaye h. Atleast uske ghr wale jyada understanding h and samjhte h ki yeh the end nhi hai.
Mera dream h Germany me pdhna. Mai kuch projects banaya hoon ek dost ke sath apne coding skills se jisse mujhe kafi acha revenue mil jata h. To friend EU ka hai and we've been in contact for long time now.
To ek saal yaha local college me pdh kr next year bachelors Germany ke liye apply krunga yeh mera plan th. Along with learning german language.
Bs isi hope se mai filhal jee rh hoon ki ek din yeh sapna pura hoga and mai finally yeh toxicity escape kr paunga. Mera wo dost financially help bhi krdega if funds ki kam pdegi to uss time. Papa ke to paise bhi use nhi hoga to bhad me jaye mai ja rh apne raste.
Bs aur kuch nhi kehne ko h

bag, phone, and wallet ka kya scene hai?, centre by centre different rehta hai kya?