i would like to start off with this: i cannot give too many blatant details as i would like to remain as anonymous as possible, (edit: i just realized i was supposed to add ages but i cant, our median age is 19) but i seriously need help with my situation. if the person this is about sees this (unlikely but just in case), and realizes who i am, i am sorry. i am genuinely just trying to see if there's something i missed to fix this situation and help you.
basically, all i can say without being too too obvious is my partner is having a severe depression and bpd episode, usually i can help him with these episodes but this one is a lot worse than normal. what happened was this:

1. he said we should break up for his mental health and to protect me, i think i was understanding and tried not to make him feel forced to stay. my question here: should i have fought for him instead of just letting go, so as to not make him feel like i was giving up on him? is it possible that may have hurt him? my reasoning was that i didn't want him to feel forced to stay, and i didn't want him to stay in a relationship that would be too much for him right now.
2. he blocks me on all socials except one of his 2 discord accounts. my question here: is this him trying to signal that he wants me to chase him there or is it more likely he simply forgot? currently, i'm giving him space and letting him come back at his own pace.
3. i asked why, he got mad, someone close to me saw and defended me. i can't disclose what exactly was said beyond that he said i wasn't trying to understand. they took that as he was insulting my intelligence, i took it as insulting my empathy. i have been very patient with him but i think being called out scared him and thats why my number is also blocked. i left him some messages basically saying that yes he was being mean but i understand that it wasn't his intention for when he unblocks me, as he usually does with other people he overreacts with and i'm hoping now will be the same.

at the moment, i'm hoping that he does what he normally does and comes back after a little bit so we can discuss and hopefully reboot because yk.. i love him. this is the first major issue we've had in over a year, and i know it's not his fault so i'm trying not to be too mad at him. i am trying to recognize where i fucked up as well, but i think if he does come back like he usually does with me and anyone else who he blocks (he does not block me regularly, to be clear.) when he's in a better mindset i would like to discuss both of our mistakes and set new boundaries to avoid situations like this. what i want to know tho, is if i should pursue him through that last place he hasn't blocked me to show him i care or if i should leave it for him to come back at his own pace like i'm doing right now.
i also would like to know if he does come back, does anyone with his affliction or a partner with his affliction have any tips for me to help him in the future? usually i just try to comfort him or distract him and it works eventually, but i want to know if maybe there's a better more effective method i could use.
thank you to anyone who answers <3

Some backstory...
I'm leaving out some details for privacy reasons, but It's been almost 2 years since my ex blocked me on all social media, and not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about her. I'll call her B. I've tried to move on; see other people; take up new activities we never shared; listen to music I know she hated; but no matter how much I try to shake the thought of her, it inevitably just makes me think about her again. Like I said, B crosses my mind every single day.
While I never really got a completely straight answer to why she needed to breakup and block me, I think a lot of it came down to the large age gap between us. B's life and career were just taking off while mine were beginning to wind down. I'm hesitant to call B "immature" but we definitely had an imbalance in our life experiences. While her feelings for me were strong, I think ultimately I wasn't what she needed at that point in her life. It really hurt her to have to say goodbye because we were so fun together, and I believe B blocked me because staying in touch made things too difficult.
Unfortunately, this uncertainty never really brought me any feeling of closure. Even my divorce years before B and I were together didn't give me this kind of grief. It's a persistent feeling of "unfinished business" that really sticks with me, and is directly responsible for the stupid thing I did a few weeks ago.
I sent her an anonymous birthday gift.
This is exactly what dating coaches, no-contact advocates, friends, and random strangers tell you to never, ever do. It's weak, sad, disrespectful of the block, potentially creepy, and just kind of pointless. But regardless of all that, as the clock ticked on, later and later throughout her birthday, I felt my ability to reason get weaker and weaker. I gave in and sent her something I knew she'd like. I made sure to eliminate my information, and sent it off to her with the only expectation she'd enjoy the gift and figure some elderly relative forgot to sign their name. There was a short note attached that said "Happy Birthday, I hope you enjoy this [gift]".
Well, several weeks went by without any confirmation or notification. I wasn't really expecting to get one because I was totally anonymous. But what I absolutely did NOT expect was the gift I received for MY birthday just this past weekend. B sent me something of similar value, along with a note that read "Happy Birthday, I hope you enjoy this [gift]", the main difference being she signed hers.
I know I'm a moron for thinking she wouldn't figure out who the gift was from... But I DON'T know what to think of this outcome. Like, this is what they tell you will never happen in this scenario.
From what I can tell, she hasn't lifted the block, but she hasn't entirely scrubbed me from her life, either. She obviously still has my address after all this time, and she clearly appreciated the gesture. What should I do? Reach out? Say thank you? Wait? Do nothing? I'm so shook by this unexpected outcome. Plus the gift she sent was really nice. But what is even happening?
UPDATE: She unblocked me.
TLDR: I sent my ex-girlfriend an anonymous birthday gift and she sent me one back. Now what?

Hi, I believe that I am remaining anonymous. I have a situation that has plagued me for 5 years. I am a gay man, 21 who fell in love w his high school best friend when I was 16 and he was 14. It started when I was a junior in highschool and he was a freshman. We both did cross country and he immediately made his way to varsity because he was way faster than me. For the two years that we knew each other in HS, everyone hated him because he has a cocky personality, but I was drawn to him. We bonded and had an amazing friendship that accumulated into a relationship by the end of our first year knowing eachother. This was a bit problematic bc his family was hyper religious. To explain more, his church told him that he would die a sinner and forever burn in hell for ever having any feelings for a man. His parents hated me bc we did get in trouble with the XC coaches for skipping practices to hang out together. This was the only time that we could find alone bc I was in AP classes and he was in lower courses. We had a massive fallout during the beginning of his sophomore year and my senior year due to the pressure of peers and their homophobia bc they suspected that we were more than friends. We didnt talk for 4 months until i reached out to him and we became best friends again. I helped him pass his classes in secret and we rekindled our bond. I ended up asking him out (he did the first time) on the same date that we first starte dating, and we were happy for almost 4 months. At that point, I was in college and he was a junior. I visited every weekend and made sure he knew I loved him, but we could not communicate regularly during the week bc of his parents. I had bought him a burner phone so we could talk, but eventually he left me on delivered for 2-3 days on end. At that point I cheated on him and confessed the day after. We worked it out and he said we could work through it. By the end on our almost 6 month relationship he was practically noncommunicative again. I broke up with him bc I did not want to be chasing after someone who talked about liking girls and other ppl when i only wanted him. I apologize bc I can not remember what happened so far ago. I do remember that I was laying in bed during my sophomore year is college. He was a senior in HS at the time. I remember laying in bed while texting him and we broke up 2 weeks before our 6 month anniversary. I had several presents ready for him and dropped them off after we broke up. One of the presents I delivered was a bracelet that showed a picture of us when we first met when you shove a light on it. After the second break up, we didn't have any contact for a year and a half. I was now a junior about to graduate and he had recently been forced out of community college. His parents refused to drive him to the classes that he paid for and he eventually had to drop out. After a few months, they eventually pressured him into the military bc they would not take him to his job interviews and used his joblessness to criticize him and call him useless. He unblocked me around christmas and I send him a text. We agreed to meet up and have been in contact since he turned 18 and I turned 20. Sadly, he moved back in with his parents and they refused to take him to his community classes even though he was paying for them. In the end, they forced him to go to the military and we finally got I touch again. We rekindled our friendship and have been talking since Dec. 2023. We hung out and started being fwb, but he gradually placed more restrictions on our 'relationship'. I put that in quotations to emphasize that we were never a 'thing' but more than friends. It is now May, 2024 and he no longer wants to do anything at all. I have put hours and money, depriving myself of food and simple pleasure to enable us to go to raves and parties together. I do not expect to buy his affection, but a certain part of my mentality tells me that anything I work towards will become true. This is not the case. He has been evidently clear that he does not want a relationship now that he is 18 almost 19. I have just turned 21 and graduated from university. My biggest puzzle is that he has finally accepted himself as bi, but he does not want me. He does not want a relationship and wants us to return to when we were kids and didn't date. I simply can not think of him in any way except my partner. I love him, and I love every part of him. I remember when kids would corner him in the bathroom and intimidate him bc he didn't fit into the ideal of a varsity kid, even tho he was. I remember everything. I remember everything we went through together, including having weapons drawn on us. But as adults, he doesn't want us to be together in any sense except friends. I have tried for months to only e his friend, but when we started talking again in Dec 2023, we quickly became fwb again. We are now 5 months along in our friendship and the conflict has reach a turning point. We recently had a fight in which he said that I made him uncomfortable with the extent that we took things. I simply can not thing of him as anything but my forever partner and he can not see me as anything more than his friend for the time being. I am so confused considering that we have cuddled in my room, in my car, and under the stars. I want to emphasize that we have been together through everything, and I have asked permission before approaching him, but he is not interested in me. He has been evidently clear this last time around that he does not want a relationship, and I have been evidently clear that I do. This is something that created resentment between the two of us, especially since I have seen him make out with other girls at raves and parties. I am asking you guys if you have any advice to a mutual ground that we can meet on bc I can not lose this man. He is my best friend above all else, but I am so in love with him that it creates tension in our friendship. He will not budge and I can not remove him from my heart. There's is an emphasis on the fact that I can not remove him as my first love in my heart, and even though he told me I was his first love, he will not accept anyone as a partner due to his upcoming military service. I will put forth more emphasis on the fact that he does get with girls, but refuses any attachment beyond hookups. This is the hardest part for me and leads to a majority of our arguments. This most recent argument has been the most significant because he stated that I make him uncomfortable when I want to cuddle or hold him while we are in the mountains and looking at the stars. I have done a poor job to explain out dynamic, but I hope that someone has some advice beyond "drop him". I can not leave this man if I tried. I do love him with every fiber of my being, even if it hurts me in the end.

What Does Open Proxy Mean on Instagram?

Instagram has stringent rules regarding its usage, and encountering an "Open Proxy" error indicates that you won't be able to access the app or website from the device using the flagged IP address. This typically means Instagram has banned your IP, rejecting all data requests sent from it.

What May Cause This?

1. Excessive liking, commenting, or following/unfollowing accounts.
2. An IP address associated with past malicious activities on the platform.
3. Using public Wi-Fi that has been exploited for malicious purposes.
4. Unrecognized login attempts or posting unusual content.
5. Clicking on links from unfamiliar sources.

How to Fix Instagram Open Proxy Error?

The first step is to try unblocking access directly through Instagram support, though success is often limited, especially if your actions still violate the platform's rules. Another option is using an Instagram proxy. An Instagram proxy acts as an intermediary server, masking your device’s IP address and providing an additional layer of privacy and security. This setup allows your device to communicate with Instagram via the proxy server, which forwards your requests on your behalf.

The Power of Instagram Unblock Proxy

Beyond resolving IP bans, Instagram proxies offer various advantages, such as managing multiple accounts, growing followers, and scraping information. Here’s what you can do with Instagram unblock proxies:

1. Access Unblocked: Proxies can help bypass restrictions in workplaces, educational institutions, or countries. While VPNs provide comprehensive security and privacy, proxies are faster as they do not encrypt the entire internet connection.
2. Manage Multiple Accounts: Instagram allows up to five accounts per user. Proxies are essential for handling more than a few accounts, preventing your IP from being flagged by Instagram.
3. Grow Followers: Multiple accounts with unique profiles and content strategies can attract more followers. While this approach may not be entirely ethical, adhering to Instagram’s guidelines ensures sustainable growth.

How to Use Instagram Proxy Effectively?

1. Assign One Account per Proxy: Allocate just one account to a distinct proxy to prevent potential banning issues. Choose high-quality, reputable proxy providers with IP rotation and advanced security features.
2. Scrape Slowly: Use web scraping tools or custom scripts in programming languages like Python. Mimic human behavior by adding random pauses between requests and limiting concurrent requests.
3. Avoid Free Proxies: Free proxies are often unreliable and insecure. They are usually overcrowded, slow, and may not provide privacy or anonymity. Known free proxy IP addresses are actively blocked by Instagram.

OkeyProxy is a top choice for Instagram proxies. Offering rotating residential, static residential, and data center proxies, OkeyProxy’s rotating residential proxies, obtained from authentic residential users, make your Instagram bot nearly identical to real users, allowing you to automate tasks without the risk of being blocked.

There are a lot of cases where a person is all of sudden blocked by a friend on social media. And it sucks, but you cannot do anything. They can say any excuse to block you. In fact, you don't need to comment or upvote their posts, neither know that person, they can still block you no matter what.
And then there are also subreddit bans, which mods can do, also without you deserving the ban (and this one is, for no reason at all, much less socially acceptable than someone blocking you. Even though both types or blocks are bad).
There is one saving grace for blocking on most social media, that is, that when someone blocks you, you can just access their profile from a different account (whereas on Reddit sub bans, they don't let you using another account for that (they track your IP and other things). But for blocks on Instagram, on the other hand, it does block all your account, making it at least as bad as subreddit ban. Or even worse, because you cannot even view unless you're logged out.
People say that blocking is needed when someone is harassing you, stalking, and similar things, but not all blocks are for that. I wish blocking would ONLY be allowed in that case.
So, what I wish is that there is a law that, when someone blocks you on social media (or when moderators ban you from subreddit), if you didn't deserved it you can report it. And even report anonymously, if it's still possible to investigate. And if they see that it was really done for no reason, then people should be force to unblock/unban you.
I know that a lot of people will disagree, but if that law existed, we all would be happier. Our internet activities would be much less stressful, but sadly people don't care about that.

I've been suffering nonstop over the loss of the love of my life and best friend for months, especially with the way it happened because it just didn't make any sense. She hasn't said a word to me since, she's blocked me everywhere and it feels like she died. I have been in a severe state of grief. The pain has been unbearable 24/7. I would do anything to have just one conversation with her. I can't stop thinking about how close we were and the thousands of happy, wonderful loving moments we shared all throughout our 7 year relationship. What's happened feels so wrong. I can't reconcile it because I can't find any legitimate reason that things had to turn out the way they did, or why She's so adamantly unwilling to communicate with me, knowing that just a little bit of kindness from her would feel life changing to me. I miss her more than words can say. I feel like a piece of me has been torn from my body, and I'm not capable of happiness without it.
Two days ago I saw that she had unblocked me on TikTok right after her birthday, and that sent my hopes reeling. I imagined all kinds of things... maybe she's having second thoughts. Maybe she wants to see my posts and is considering reaching out to me. I didn't message her directly because I can't, which is killing me, but I posted a few anonymous text videos saying my honest heartfelt feelings, and asking her to please reach out to me, talk with me, let's have peace and kindness between us. I hoped beyond hope that she might agree.
This morning while at work, I saw that I was suddenly blocked again. She never reached out. It was a crippling blow. I had a lot of work to do today and had to fight to get it all done despite my crushed emotional state.
This has been going on like this for about 4 months. I ruminate about her, about us every minute of every day. I'm not young, and I know I will never find that kind of blissful happiness with anyone again in my lifetime. I don't know how to let her go from my heart and mind. I don't know how to accept something that feels so wrong and out of place in the universe. Sometimes, especially after days like today when making any kind of peace with her seems so hopeless, I consider ending my pain. Taking a final long drive to a beautiful place and saying goodbye so I won't have to suffer like this any longer. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live with this pain that I've been unable to overcome no matter what I try. Nothing helps, and it only gets more intense as time passes, it never subsidies or feels any better.
I don't know what to do anymore. I think I'm done.

Hello everyone. Last year, I met a woman who is mentally ill. Initially, this wasn't a problem, but later it started to affect me. In September 2023, we ended our contact, but in October I saw her on a dating app and messaged her. She initially responded, but then blocked me on all platforms.
Despite having better dates with more attractive women, I constantly think about her and feel strangely drawn to her. At the beginning of this year, she unblocked me on Facebook but didn't contact me. In April, I messaged her anonymously via Telonym, but she misunderstood and responded negatively.
I've also tried to find answers through spiritual methods. I do spirit communications, where I communicate via a radio set to a static station and a recording device. When I asked why she isn't contacting me, I got the response: "She is afraid." This could be true, although I’m not sure.
I want to manifest her back into my life, but not as a partner, rather on a friendly basis. Doubts and past conflicts make this challenging. My main question is, how can I manifest her back without expending too much energy and constantly thinking about the circumstances? Any help would be very welcome.
The original text was much longer, but I have summarized it to the essentials with the help of ChatGPT. If you need more information, I can provide it. By the way, I'm a man if that matters😅

Hello,
I have been meaning to post her for a bit but have been doing a lot of reading. My (M34) wife (F33) of 4.5 years and together in total about 9 years with a 3 year old son, had an ~15 month long affair with a coworker. He lives on the other side of the country so it was EA with a lot of sexuality that turned into full blown PA at a 3 day work retreat.
I found out because he was fired from his job for unrelated issues, when reviewing his logs, they found explicit conversations with my wife. She was able to keep her job but someone involved with her HR department or someone she told sent me an anonymous email. She played dumb at first and said she had no idea what they were talking about. That night, I checked her text and didn't see much but noticed the text chain with her best friend was gone. I found it in the recently deleted. It was clear of the EA at that point. She finally admitted only with the proof but insisted it was only EA. I found a lot more proof that night that more had happened and the next day (also my birthday) she finally admitted that it was a full PA and gave a basic timeline of events. This all went down about 7 weeks ago, in late March.
We both had underlying issues that put our relationship in a state where she felt the desire to have an affair. But she has taken taken responsibility for it being 100% on her.
They used WhatApp to text and exchange photos but set it to delete after 24 hours so that is all gone. Some of the things I saw in the emails/text from when we were out of country and she had to use email. Including lots of I love you, describing the acts, talking about the marks he left, how he owned her, and how they couldn't wait to be together. We were looking into moving during the affair and she was pushing hard to move to the are where he lived. She texted her BFF how should could then divorce me when I was out there so our son would be stuck out there.
She still has a ton of 'mental blocks' regarding the whole affair and cannot give me many answers that seem like she should know. Both of us are in IC and just started MC.
She told me that if he reached out, she would let me know right away. A few weeks ago, he reached out to her saying that he needed to talk via a new phone number. She told me after a few hours and she contemplated responding but did not. She did not block him. A week later he sent a follow up text blaming her for ruining his life and putting the affair on her. He is also married with 2 kids and I told OBS within a few hours of finding out.
She let me know about this second text after about 7 hours because the time was just not right and she was busy being out to dinner with her girlfriends. I asked if she would block him now and she said she would. I did not see if she did it right then or now. A few days later, on last Tuesday, I asked if he was blocked and she said no, she forgot to do it and went to do it then. A day later, I took her phone and deleted the text because he listed other ways to contact him and I didn't want to have that. She noticed that the text was gone and had issue with it, and it in part started a fight.
Fast-forward to last night, I check to see if he was still blocked and he was not. She admitted to unblocking him on Friday. By her words, she was mad that I deleted the text, it reminder her that he was garbage. She was hoping that when she unblocked him, she could get it back or that he sent another one like that to remind her. She then realized that's not how it work. At that point, since the text were gone, and she removed the block, she did have his phone number and could not reblock him. She never told me about any of this. I have no idea if she had reached out to him in the mean time and no way to know if they set up another way to communicate.
She is making an argument that she never made a promise to keep him blocked and that it was just a moment of weakness..
I did get very upset and said some nasty things. I have done a very good job not doing that until this point. She also lost her control as well and got very aggressive in response to my anger.
For the most part in our R she has been putting in the work. Some days are better than other but we have both improved in our communication but still have a long way to go. We do both have lapse in our communication that have led to arguments 1-2 per week.
What I am looking for here is any input. Is R still viable? Is she creating a pattern of behaviors that she won't be able to break? Anything that you guys may see that I am missing. I have it marked as advice welcomed, I would like to hear from anyone who wants to share.
Thank you.

Today I would like to answer this question: should you unblock them to tell them not to call you?
This is a pretty common situation when dealing with someone manipulative. Picture this: you're trying to keep your distance and move on. You've even blocked their number, but they still find ways to contact you, maybe through an anonymous number. However, if you're pretty keen, you've been recognizing it's them every time. They may keep calling until it becomes downright annoying. So you might consider unblocking them to set things straight, to tell them to stop calling. But is that wise? Should you unblock them just to deliver that message?
Actually, that's the last thing you should do. It's unproductive and counterproductive to block someone just to unblock them later. It's best to maintain the block because unblocking them still leaves the door open for communication. There are several reasons why unblocking them isn't a good idea.
Firstly, there's the potential for manipulation. Abusive individuals excel at pressing people's buttons, and reopening communication with them can put you at risk of being manipulated again. That's how they gained control over you initially. They're incredibly persuasive and skilled at using various tactics, even ones you least expect, like involving your children or family, to manipulate you and regain control. So, simply informing them that you're blocking them again reopens that communication, making you vulnerable to manipulation, especially if you haven't fully understood yourself or your boundaries. If you're still in the early stages, feeling vulnerable, desperate, or struggling, it's best not to unblock them.
Another aspect to consider is the potential for emotional pain. When you haven't fully healed, the wounds are still raw, right? You find yourself constantly triggered. So, unblocking them is like reopening those wounds. Even if you've been moving forward and living a normal life, just hearing their voice or reading their texts can bring back all those painful memories. It's a trigger that reminds you of the past and the harm they caused. So, by unblocking them just to block them again, you're essentially hurting yourself.
Another crucial aspect to consider is the message you send by unblocking them. It signals to them that you're still available and open to communication, creating a sense of hope for them. They interpret this as an opportunity to try again, perhaps with a different approach. It's like you're indicating that you're within their reach. Consequently, they may persistently continue their attempts to contact you, fueled by the belief that they can still win you back. For instance, you might send them a text one day, and the next, they respond with apologies and promises to change their behavior. By reopening communication in this way, you indirectly show them that you're still invested, giving them a glimmer of hope for reconciliation.
So, it's best not to unblock them at all. If their calls are still bothering you, it suggests there's still some work to be done in you. This is what inner work is all about—reaching a point where their attempts to contact you no longer affect you. Even if they call you 40 times a day, you'll remain indifferent because you understand their desperation. You're aware that there's nothing positive to gain from rekindling a relationship with someone who avoids accountability for their harmful actions. You've internalized this understanding.
So, focus on healing yourself instead of unblocking them. Maintain the block and work on reaching a state where their attempts to reach you won't faze you. Eventually, they'll tire of trying when they realize you're truly moving on and seeking someone else. That's just how life works. Giving them even the slightest bit of attention shows them a way to access you again.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

I was in a 2.5-year relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The beginning was great; we connected deeply, staying up late talking and feeling a strong bond. However, after about six months, doubts started to creep in on her part, and she frequently questioned my empathy and commitment.
The relationship was marked by severe depressive episodes, during which she attempted suicide three times.
The first attempt happened when she tried to overdosea after we had a fight. I took her to the hospital, which was quite traumatic for me.
The second attempt occurred at her place when she tried to slit her wrists. She also talked about trying to slit her wrists in the wrong way so she wouldn’t die and her father would finally see her real pain and take her back in. (notice the wanting to be seen pattern, this will continue throughout the story)
The third attempt was in Indonesia, where we stayed together for 5 months. She broke up with me and 2 days later drank two liters of gin and took 105 pills. She texted me on Instagram, saying, "I’m sorry I'm doing this, but if you're reading this, I'm probably almost gone. Please call the police". I rushed to her with a motorbike and found her completely unconscious in the bathroom, covered in puke and alcohol. It was a horrifying experience, and I only just managed to get her to the hospital in time. She was in a coma for two days. I remained by her bedside for most of it (only time i wasn’t there was when i was showering or sleeping). She said in her suicide voice memo that she hoped I’d see what i’d done. When confronting her about this, much later, she said she didn’t mean it like that.
I desperately needed a break from all this at this point, so i decided to go to the Philippines with some people in met in Indonesia to calm down and have some fun. Her father was in Indonesia to care for her. She sent her father away and wanted someone to care for her (she was in a wheelchair at this point). At first i told her i wouldn’t come, i desperately needed some time away with friends. In response to this she said that if i couldn’t or wouldn’t come, she would seek care from other guys(!), as she "needed" care. This would risk me losing her forever and i couldn’t stand the thought of her being with other guys. So i cut my trip short to care for her. Even though she was tearing my mental health apart. She probably did this all unconsciously, but that doesn’t make the manipulation any less worse (for me).
Throughout our relationship, she changed rapidly between idealising me and devaluing me, She often thought i was the absolute most amazing guy she ever met. We talked so many times about starting a family together at a later point in our lives (we are both in our twenties). At other points she was calling me names like "narcissist," (her favourite one) "selfish," and "lacking empathy.".
Despite all the doubts about me, I still always tried to support her. We for example went through therapy together to work on our problems.
The story of how we initially got together is also complicated. She agreed to go out with me initially to make another guy, whom I'll call Peter, jealous. Peter and her were in love when they were 16, she however ended up going with another guy. Peter had called her a bitch, and she wanted to get back at him. Despite our toxic start, we developed deep feelings for each other, but Peter remained a symbolic presence in the background, as she never truly closed that chapter.
Eventually, I discovered she was texting another man extensively, even while we were still together. She had thousands of messages with him, filled with affectionate terms like "honey." and photos in her lingerie. "Please just fuck me" When I confronted her, she initially claimed she had set it all up to drive me away so she could commit suicide without my interference. Later, she admitted she genuinely felt seen by him, contrasting with her feelings towards me. She said she didn't delete the messages because she wanted me to find out and leave her, enabling her to end her life without feeling responsible for hurting me directly. Which again turned out to he a lie. She even met him (in my clothing even) and they kissed. She seeked comfort about this and made up a lie that she was with a friend and it turned sour. I was there for her, caressed her, cared for her. It was all a lie of course. Even when she was already talking to him i tried to help her with her problems to the best of my ability. She complimented me for always being there for her. It was not enough apparently. Her fourth suicide attempt happened just after i confronted her about her cheating. She smashed a mirror and tried to slit her wrists, but the police were already at our house. They broke down the door to save her. Each of these suicide attempts left me feeling deeply traumatized and helpless.
After another breakup, she quickly moved on and began seeing other people. She also started using Tinder, which she previously mocked as something only "losers" use. Her inconsistent behavior and frequent changes of mind about our relationship and future plans, after we had for example another fight, left me confused and hurt. For example, she would tell me one week that she couldn’t imagine being in another relationship for years, as she wanted to work on herself. Two and a half weeks later after a fight, she was eager to start a new relationship. I quote: “I’m a relationship girl.” “Im really looking forward to being in a new relationship, just not with you.”
She often felt i was not being supportive enough. For instance, once when she was sick, she texted me early in the morning that she couldn’t sleep, and later expressed her disliking of me not physically helping her, calling me an "empathiless jerk." I was never enough for her. I never truly made her feel safe and seen. I (and she) always blamed me for this.
After she cheated and she broke up with me for the 8th time (i think, i lost count), I still helped her move out and tried to be supportive. This pattern of me trying to fix things while she repeatedly engaged in deep destructive behavior has left me very traumatized.
Eventually, after we broke up for the final time, she told me she wanted to meet up with “Peter”. Despite her previous claims that she wouldn't see him because it would be hurtful to me, she said it felt strange that she couldn't meet him now that we had broken up. I told her i would severely dislike it but i couldn’t stop her. She met with him and quickly became infatuated, telling me how seen and understood she felt by him. This was especially painful because he was always in the background during our relationship, and now she expressed feelings for him. She also expressed how this guy has quite some impracticalities but she really feels seen and safe with him, in contrast with me.
She looks for someone to give her security and that "sees" her. She is trying to fill a void that will never be full. She was so self-aware of this pattern at first, but when we broke up for the final time, she slipped right back into it. Like she had no reflection whatsover. She just jumped right back into a rebound. Not healing her problems and once again falling into the cycle. Her words were literally: “he made me feel so safe and seen, i think he might be exactly what i NEED. Notice the word need. She is trying to fill this deep emotional hole. It however will never be healed by someone else. At some point she will realise that this guy cannot give her the safety and this feeling of being "seen" she so desperately wants (and believes she deserves, she always used to say: "I deserve someone that sees me / has empathy / etc.), because it is impossible for another human. This along with all the other toxic things she had done, proves to me that I should step away and disconnect completely. I accept that she is this way. I will work to fill my emotional hole, without anything external. I will become better. And when she finally leaves this guy (and she will eventually when she figures out this guy also can’t heal her childhood trauma), i will be healed, and she will not be. She will still be blaming me and him and all the other guys for letting her down, unbeknownst that it is she who let herself down, by not taking the time to be alone and heal. Only time will tell.
I recently unblocked her and look at what she is posting on Tiktok and instagram. I hoped to see something of her rebound which would make it easier for me to move on. Nothing about him though. But she did recently made a video about narcissism. She’s keeping it anonymous but some points (not all) are definitely about me. I agree with some points though. For example: when she talks about something she dislikes about me, like wanting me to act differently, i could get very defensive. I would explain why i did a certain behaviour, instead of trying to understand her. I could also get frustrated and angry because i felt so not valued. I gave up my own mental health for her and chewed through multiple traumas, but it was never enough for her. There was always something in which i failed her. She always felt not seen and unsafe. I cant take her accountable for this, its childhood trauma. The fact that i was never enough for her frustrated me so much, i didn’t even know this at this point so i just responded with anger and frustration when she wanted to bring up something which she disliked about me. Feelings like these occured : “Don’t you see what I’m giving up for you? Don’t you see how many things i eat up, just so we don’t fight?”. She however correlates this anger, defensiveness and frustration with narcissism, that hurts my feelings. Perhaps we should’ve had a better talk about this. Its all what-ifs now. It hurts so much. I should’ve never ever prioritised her well being over my own. But i was dependent on her love (my psychologist says i have traits of a Dependent personality disorder.)
I’m currently struggling to move on. I think about her constantly, dream about her every night, and feel jealous of her new rebound, despite knowing how toxic she was for me. What makes this so hard is that she is so fucking beautiful too, she is an absolutely stunning woman to look at. I cant keep my mind off of her. I long for her. I was and am so extremely in love with her. My friends and therapist (and myself) see how harmful this relationship was for me. Her extremely impulsive, emotionally driven, destructive behaviour has scarred my capability to love. Yet I find myself longing to fix things and be there for her. I’m so mad at her for putting me through all this pain, but at the same time, I’ve lost my best friend, my lover, and my biggest cheerleader.
How can I move on from this? How do I stop thinking about her (and this new guy) and focus on my own well-being?

BB's chakras are under attack. I expect that you all will be as disturbed by this revelation as I am and will take appropriate measures to protect your own chakras. Here's a breakdown since it appears the majority of people in here are blocked.
We start out by accusing EEH of stealing money from her. I'm done even trying to explain the gazillion ways this has been disproven. Then, EEH tried to be a hero by not only allowing BB to see the daughter she abandoned, but providing transportation and paying for the outing because BB is a fucking loser who can't afford a movie ticket at 36 years old. Of course, shortly after EEH allowing BB to see their daughter (against his better judgment, I'm sure), Bonnie started her usual shit of accusing him of incest, sex trafficking, money laundering, and various other kinds of abuse in addition to questioning her daughter via text (which she proudly posted screenshots of) about the status of "her" house. So EEH rightly cut off communication, thus blocking Bonnie's chakras.
For the next example of chakra blocking, BB reminds us that she was stuck in Mexico and down to her last dollar and her ex boyfriend offered to get her home from Mexico and allow her to stay with him until her multimillion dollar inheritance was delivered. She is now accusing him of holding her hostage and attacking her sacral chakra. Sounds legit. She also forgets to mention that she chose to go to Mexico knowing she only had credit cards that she couldn't pay on and were going to be shut off. She chose to stay at a luxury resort until the hotel caretaker tried to murder her and Brother Lover showed up to stalk her. But somehow all of this is
Then, she moved into a hotel for three months and told everyone at the pizza place she works at about how she was homeless and destitute and no one offered to help her. Bonnie, I'd like to apologize on behalf of your 17 year old coworkers who didn't offer to buy you a home or car and/or give you all their tip money. That was wrong of them. Everyone knows you're the center of the universe. They know this because you tell them daily. It is inexcusable that people around you chose to live their own lives and not devote themselves to financially supporting you.
Then, one of her customers "helped" her get into her apartment. I'm gonna go ahead and just suggest that our girl was serving him more than a slice and a Coke at the pizza joint because who TF just cosigns on an apartment for the hell of it? Then we get into the wishlist. This is my personal favorite. Whenever I need a good laugh, I rewatch the video of BB crying with gratitude about some anonymous benefactor who purchased everything on her wish list and berating anyone who suggests she's been scammed. Spoiler alert: she was scammed and no one likes her enough to buy her anything unless she's putting out for them which - let's be honest - is about the only thing she's good for at this point. Also, the chakra blocking caused her to quit her job which ironically coincided with the same week she got the keys to her new apartment that some sucker is paying for.
Anyway, that's a summary of how Bonnie's chakras are being blocked. She's pretty angry about it. Hasn't she been educating people for like two years now on how to unblock chakras and heal their trauma? You'd think she would have figured out by now how to unblock her own chakras.

Hey everyone!
I know a lot of us are feeling a bit iffy about Google's new AI overviews in search results. It’s definitely a big change, and not everyone is loving it. If you’re like me and thinking it might be time to explore other options, you’re in luck! we’ve put together a list of some top-notch Google alternatives that might just become your new go-to search engine. Let’s dive in and find something that works better for us!

1. Bing

Bing is one of the top unblocked search engine and the best Google alternative. According to Similarweb, Bing is one of the most visited american search engine. It is owned and operated by Microsoft. First launched in 2009 as a replacement for live search, and since then, it has been a popular search engine with millions of people using it around the globe.
Bing is designed to assist users in finding a wide range of information on the web. This includes everything from images and articles to maps and videos. In general, Bing is great for searching for broadly available information on the internet, such as details about a specific topic or person.
In 2023, Microsoft Introduced an AI-powered Bing chat bot (Co-pilot) in the search engine that can provide more personalized results for users.
Read more How to Use Bing AI?

Features of Bing

• Web search: Bing allows its users to search the internet web for information about a broad variety of subjects and topics, including blogs, articles, news, images, videos, and maps.
• Deep Search: Microsoft Bing's "Deep Search" feature offers enhanced, detailed answers to complex queries, improving web exploration without replacing the current search function.
• Privacy: It offers users top-notch privacy protection. It does not track any personal information or browsing history of users.
• Copilot: Copilot's AI offers generative text and images, analysis, and internet-connected updates to enhance productivity in writing, research, and creativity, including poem, essay, song creation, math, coding, and image generation.
• Image, video, and news search: Bings image, video, and news search options allow users to search and discover images, videos, and news articles from a range of sources.
• Maps and directions: Bing Maps and direction option offers users thorough maps and turn-by-turn directions for driving, walking, or using public transportation.
• Translation: It comes with a translation tool name Bing Translator. It allows the user to translate text and web pages from one language to another.
• Personalization: Users can personalize their search experience with Bing. The process is to set by saving search history and setting preferences for language and location.
• Mobile apps: Its iOS and Android apps make it widely available on mobile devices.
• Integration with other Microsoft products: It is integrated with numerous other products of Microsoft, such as - Office, Windows, and Xbox. Users can search for information and access Bing services from within these products.

2. Yahoo

Yahoo is a web search engine founded in 1994. It is one of the prominent and earliest search engines that provide users with a great search engine experience.
Yahoo is a web services company that offers a variety of products and services, including search, news, finance, sports, and entertainment.

Features of Yahoo

• Yahoo Search: Yahoo's search engine helps users to search the internet, web, images, and videos.
• Privacy: Their priority is to give users proper privacy protection to make the user feel safe and at home.
• Yahoo Mail: Yahoo Mail is an email service used to send and receive emails as well as organize inboxes with features like spam protection, customizable themes, and calendar integration.
• Yahoo News: It is a news website. It provides users with the latest headlines, news coverage, articles, and analysis of current events from a variety of topics and sources.
• Yahoo Finance: It offers information on financial news, data, and analysis about the stock market and business.
• Yahoo Sports: It is a sports news website. It offers information like - scores, updates, and stats for a variety of sports.
• Yahoo Entertainment: It is an entertainment website. It offers the latest movies, TV shows, celebrity news, and more.

3. DuckDuckGo

DuckDuckGo
DuckDuckGo is one of the best search engines you can use instead of any leading search engines for privacy. Its prime appeal is to give you search privacy. It does not track or collect user data and aims to protect users' online privacy.

Features of DuckDuckGo

• Privacy protection: DuckDuckGo provides the best search privacy. It does not track users' information or searches. Also, it does not offer personalized search results or ads.
• Encrypted connections: It protects the user’s data using encrypted connections. It secures data from being intercepted by third parties.
• Anonymous searching: It offers an anonymous web search option. Users can search anonymously without leaving any trace of their searches. Works as one of the top search engine for anonymous browsing.
• Smarter search: It provides users with relevant search results with their own search algorithms. Also, they offer instant answers to frequent and common queries.
• Customization: It allows its users to customize their search experience with options like dark mode, regional settings, and more.
• Mobile app: It offers a mobile app. Users can search the web and access privacy-focused features on the go.
• Browser extension: It provides a browser extension. It helps block tracking cookies and protects their privacy while browsing the web.

Related Read: Best AI Search Engines
There are more... read the full article from here- https://dorik.com/blog/alternative-search-engines

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/OddDot5178 in AITAH
trigger warnings: possible transphobia, possible mental health issues, manipulation
​
NOTE: Because everyone will wonder, I am addressing this right now. While OOP's child identifies as non-binary, she uses "she/her" pronouns and presents as a female. This is why OOP refers to her as her daughter.

AITAH For Not Wanting To Raise My NB Daughter's Baby? - Feb 7, 2024
My daughter came to me at 16 and said she was non-binary, but only sometimes. Like, some days she would feel more male than female and some days she would feel like neither. She wanted me to ask her every day what day it was and then refer to her as that pronoun of the day.
I told her that wasn’t going to fly. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on LJ (Livejournal) during the ol’ ‘bun-self’ and ‘zen-self’ ‘zir-self’ days. People who think this is new to this generation are fooling themselves. I told her that I would call her the pronoun she wanted, and do my best to remember it day to day, but she was going to have to tell me what she wanted for that day. I wasn’t going to play a daily guessing game.
This went on for about a week or two until she finally seemed to grow tired or bored and just said I could call her ‘her’. Though she still identifies as non-binary. Fine. (At least when it was going on she wanted ‘she, he, or they’ — I’m sorry but I couldn’t have done fox-self/fox-them with a straight face).
So that’s the pronoun story and looking back where I think things started to go off the handle. Here’s my real question.
My daughter is now 18, pregnant, and seems to have lost her god damned mind. Or I’m an asshole. You choose.
This year has been a struggle. She wanted to take a break year before she goes to community college, but can’t keep a job. Apparently, retail situations are too phobic against her non-binary state. (My child looks/acts/dresses exactly as a young adult female btw. When I ask how people are being phobic against her, she gets as prickly as a cactus so I really don’t know the details.). She’s been through 4 or 5 jobs this year, quit all of them. She won’t consider call centers that aren’t face to face because she doesn’t like to talk on phones, and is apparently looking for a remote job without any luck.
She’s been unemployed since Thanksgiving (she quit her last job on Black Friday, in fact) and I was on the verge of laying down the law, telling her she either needs to go to school this upcoming semester full time or get a full time job or move out with her friends.
But now she’s come to me and she’s 5 months pregnant. She’s very angry at me, says it’s my fault because:

• I didn’t put her on puberty-blocking hormones when she came to me 2 years ago.
• She believes I am in fact trying to ‘feminize her’ by getting her birth control. (The pill.). She’s been throwing her prescription away.

This is where I might be the asshole. I called her a little idiot. We don’t use that sort of language in my house, and I never call people names — especially my own child — but at that moment I could just see red.
The hormone thing is a non-issue IMO because this is the first time I ever heard of her wanting hormones. What was I supposed to do? Go back in time?
As for the birth control! It’s also the first time I’m hearing anything about this! There are non-pill options that don’t have estrogen. If that was her want, all she had to do was ask and I would have driven her to the doctor myself! Or she could have taken the car she has and done it. She has her own medical card, even! Though to be fair, I don’t know how she would have managed the co-pay without a job. I know for a fact her old high school gave out free condoms like candy because her friends were always giggling over flavored sample packs and even blew a few of them up like balloons and left them around the house one time. She had all the birth control she could ever want and used none of it.
It gets worse.
We’re way past the date of abortion (again, I would have helped her if this had been her wish! We live in an abortion protected state and can afford it!). She’s known she was pregnant since about 2 months and has come to think of her baby like a sibling. She expects me to raise it like it was mine. That this is my duty, in fact, because she says it is my refusal to accept her non-binary state that led to her being pregnant. So she was going to get a brother or sister and I was going to have another child.
You can say my language grew … sterner to versions of ‘Get your head out of your ass’ and ‘Congratulations, mommy, you have some hard decisions to make’, and I said I would absolutely not raise her baby for her.
She also refused to say who the father was. Now that I’ve cooled down, I’m really hoping she has a secret boyfriend. She does have some friends who were born male, but now also don’t identify that way. We didn’t even get there as I lost my mind when she said she thinks of her own baby as a sibling and wants me to raise it like my own child.
She’s locked herself in her room loudly wailing, I feel like crap warmed over. She’s been in there for 12 hours, and as she has an attached bathroom, probably won’t be coming out until she gets hungry. Considering it’s been half a day I think she has snacks stored.
I also don’t know where to go from here. Being pregnant sucks and messes with your head, so I’d like to blame that and the fear she must be feeling, but … I have the bad feeling I either raised a spoiled brat or someone with an emerging personality disorder.
So I need to know from people who aren’t emotionally involved, and maybe some people who are more in tune with this whole nonbinary thing than I am.
What do I do to help while also making her responsible for her own child? How can I help my daughter accept she must do basically the most feminine thing you can do (give birth and possibly breast-feed) while being sensitive that she’s non-binary? Am I just a big asshole here?
Typing all this out it feels like my daughter is lost in crazy town. I'm still not raising her baby but at what point do I drag a legal adult to the hospital?
Edit: You might disagree with my choices or wording, but I'm reporting people who call this bait. It's not.
Edit2: It's the middle of the night and she has decided to pack some of her clothes and stay with one of her friends. (One who I suspect is the baby daddy). Before she left she told me that she already called the police and let them know that she was 'leaving of her own free will and was not in danger'. Like I was going to report an 18 year old adult as a runaway or something? It was insulting.
I told her she needs to work out details if she wants to adopt with the father, and she was welcome back home when she had a plan in place.
It was short because I heard her on the way out. I think she just meant to leave without saying anything.
Thank you for your kind comments and advice, Reddit. I'm going to sleep.
Commenters agreed that OOP's child wasn't thinking straight:
Comment 1:
NTA.
I hate to say this, but; I sincerely hope OP's daughter chooses to give up this baby for adoption, because she's a confused hot ass mess. I don't blame OP for not wanting to step on the crazy train and raise this baby.
Comment 2:
Let’s be honest: If OP says yes to raising this child as her own, it will be the first of several. Daughter won’t take BC, so she will continue to have unprotected sex and get pregnant. She decided a couple years ago that she’s NB, expected her mother to understand that and know everything about it, and is now rewriting history to blame her mom for her now being pregnant. My head is swimming, and she’s not my daughter! There will be more babies.
Comment 3:
NB here OP.
You are SO NTA. I feel sympathy for your kid because they sound like they are so confused, maybe have body dysphoria and are now facing a life altering situation with no way out. They must feel so trapped. So they turn on you. It's easier for them to yell at and blame you instead of accepting responsibility. They are looking for a way out. We all keep changing and growing and your kid is SO young they seem to not know who they are yet and now they have to face looking after a baby when they know deep down they can't even really take care of themselves.
But my GOD the thing they did that was really stupid was chucking BC away. That is actually wild. Your kid needs to learn the difference between gender enforced stereotypes and actual biology. With biology it unfortunately doesn't matter what gender you are, the biology doesn't care, it still works the same. They NEED to learn that and differentiate.
Like I said, NTA OP. What a shit situation. I hope it gets better. I really do.
Comment 4:
NTA, your child is in fact a little idiot, with behavior that would be an absolute nightmare had you not been their parent. Also birth control isn’t a form of feminization, it’s a form of responsibility when you’re born in a body with a uterus and want to have sex that can result in pregnancy.
OOP's response:
Ugh, I wish I had those words when she hit me with that one. I sort of sputtered for a few minutes.
Comment 5:
Oh man, this is a can of worms within itself.
I wish I had better advice but just...I feel for you and the position you are stuck in.
The ONLY thing I can think of is, referring to breast feeding as "chest feeding" might make your NB daughter accept it more.
But like...there's a whole other level of things you need to get through first.
First and foremost, therapy, ASAP for your kid. Because she needs to get her head sorted out. Assuming you will just take this kid and raise it for her is...problematic to say the least. And she's got a deadline coming obviously, so therapy ASAP.
Also appointment for pregnancy checkups asap!! Has she had any? An unmonitored pregnancy can lead to complications
You might also be able to get her a social worker to go through pregnancy checkups, birthing extra.
Your kid needs a big sit down conversation about accountability for your own actions. And about how she might feel like part of YOUR actions lead to this, there was also many many choices she could have made to prevent this, that she chose not too. And at the end of the day, it was HER choices that led to this, not you.
OOP's response:
Thanks for this tip. I've written it down. The reason I mentioned she was NB because using 'breast' instead of 'chest' is the exact type of thing to send her into a pissy-fit when she's in the wrong mood. I know this may sound like a little thing, but she's always been... well, dramatic.
Because it's the internet and things are anonymous I'll admit that I am absolutely dreading pregnancy and afterbirth mood swings. Especially since it will all involve very womanly things in every intimate way. On top of the sheer stress of a newborn? Yes, I'm not looking forward to it at all and am already preparing to endure the storms.
Our conversation wasn't productive (it was an argument and she's still not out of her room) but I don't think she has had any prenatal care. That will change if I have anything to do with it.
Thanks again.
OOP commented with some of her concerns:
Yes. My worry and regret have so many places to go and a big part of it is for the baby.
This has been a bad day. :(
Responding to a comment regarding her child's entitled attitude:
Oh believe you me I have been kicking myself up and down on top of everything else. I don't know how she got to this point, but she's there now.
I wish I did have that time travel machine she clearly expects me to have.
She also clarified her overall views on the matter:
I'm on the fence. If she acted at all like she didn't have a gender (I believe that's what NB is) then I could take it more seriously. But she dresses as a woman. She puts on makeup, wears dresses during the summer, enjoys feminine things? We watch horse videos on youtube and squeal over the new foal videos. She's never been a tom boy, even.
But I was like, okay this isn't hurting her. I'll let her have this and express herself. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't. And after the first few weeks, she even dropped changing pronouns every day.
Her mentioning being NB faded and then started up hard again when high school ended and she started working retail.
I try to be understanding. Retail is hell and I'd personally only work it again if I was at my last resort. But recently it does seem to be an excuse not to work. And now she has a baby on the way.
This may not be the place for it, but I'm just worried she's regressing to a more child-like state. I don't know if she's struggling with being NB or if she's using NB as an excuse to shield herself from the world. Ugh. I guess the internet won't know, but I'm just flat out worried.
​
AITAH has no consensus bot but the comments were largely NTA.
​
Update: My NB Daughter Wants Me To Raise Her Baby - Feb 17, 2024
Hi,
This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)
So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.
Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.
Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.
They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the living room, and every time I’d pass by, he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.
Then when I was in the kitchen, he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.
So now I’ll just call them Sperm-donor because that’s what they are.
I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.
Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-donor sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-donor’s points were:

• I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!)
• It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.)
• Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. (It’s past the date anyway.)
• I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)

So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.
Sperm-donor did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.
It was kind of a whirlwind, Sperm-donor pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks, lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.
There was a lot said, mostly by the sperm-donor who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why sperm-donor couldn’t take care of the baby and sperm-donor said their parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and sperm-donor taking care of the child they created is out of the question.
I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.
I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.
I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what sperm-donor has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like sperm-donor has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.
I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like, yeah, that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.
I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.
I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-donor kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.
It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.
I texted her and said I would be there for her, but sperm-donor was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.
She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that sperm-donor won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.
I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.
The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.
Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?
Commenters agreed that sperm donor's comments made no sense, and that OOP's child was probably stuck in an abusive relationship:
Comment 1:
For your safety, I would change the locks and put up camera, Sperm-donor seems unhinged. I’m a firm believer in better safe than sorry.
Comment 2:
This baby will be used as a pawn in his never ending psycho drama. If they do not and cannot raise their baby, the best solution is adoption. Otherwise, the father will make your life a living hell.
NTA
OOP's response:
I couldn't figure out a polite way of saying this, but yes. That is my suspicion if I take in their baby. Sperm-donor implied it would be temporary while earlier my daughter said it would be permanent. I think sperm-donor will refuse to sign over paperwork when the time comes or try to leverage it in some way.
Comment 3:
NTA also it sounds like your daughter is in an abusive relationship with this person. Sorry your daughter has been brain washed by this crazy person. I would definitely contact this sperm donors family and if they seem sane warn them about how crazy both of spoke to you.
OOP's response:
That is my fear, and not a bad idea to contact sperm-donor's parents. This has all happened so far, I feel like I'm in shock and I'm very worried.
Comment 4:
Pretty wild that a trans person is saying abortion is a sin. None of this is anything like what you're going to hear from any healthy LGBT community, who are quite careful to make sure not to support people in delusional or antisocial behavior. Definitely get therapy, sounds like your kid has some serious mental health problems if they're being influenced by whatever wackos put these ideas into their head. You're going to need support in coping with this madness. NTA by a country mile. You are in no way "abusing" your kid by refusing to take responsibility for their bad choices.
OOP's response:
Thank you and yes, I don't want to minimize my daughter's role in it but the hard anti-abortion thing surprised me too. A lot of what they said contradicted itself. It felt like I was sitting across from two people who were in their own wacko bubble.
I know it's not a LGBT thing. I wish someone from their community would knock some sense into them, if its even possible at this point.
​
OOP hasn't posted since the last update.
Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

I'll try and keep this short as possible. My husband 32M and I 32F have been together for 4 years now and have the most beautiful baby boy (4 months)
However, about midway through my pregnancy with him, my world came tumbling down when I discovered my husband had been engaging in a very sexual relationship with an ex fuck buddy. Along with this, he had been very sexually active with several anonymous women online. Ex and him were involved before him and I met, she's well aware of my existence but continued to digitally engage with my husband throughout almost our entire relationship. He's obviously not innocent either.
I am choosing to believe he's never slept with her while we have been together. Per his word and my lack of evidence. Seems like it was all texting and fantasy.
When I found out, I gave him an ultimatum to block her, and disengage all other activities or I was gone. Sense then, I found out once he unblocked her but did not respond to her despite her attempting to still try and contact him. Made him block her again and he solidified my lines. He has put forth a massive effort to repair our marriage but I still find myself insecure and wary.
I have sense then not had much evidence that he is engaging with her again, however I feel extremely insecure about the way he talks about our coworker, who reveals details about her own sex life. He seems defensive of her and texts her outside of work... I don't go through his phone so I have no idea exactly what it is they talk about.
Aside from this, he is a wonderful partner and father. But he keeps talking about wanting to try for another baby early next year but I can't find myself getting excited about it, I'm terrified he has or will engage in another relationship outside our marriage. I never want to experience that kind of pain again. I feel at times I only stayed because I was pregnant and I never want to place myself into such vulnerability again unless I was absolutely sure there was nothing going on, with ANYONE.
How do I bring this up without him getting defensive? I chose to forgive, but I can't seem to shake this fear? We had always talked about having at least two kids together, but I still don't fully trust him....
Help

This is the first time I've really done anything like this. Especially on Reddit. Actually, someone I used to work with showed me the world of reddit. I've been struggling with my story of being groomed for so long, wanting to just talk with someone about it in full, but I never really knew where to go. I've thought of doing anonymous blogging but couldn't quite find the right place.
Here's some notes before I dive in (mostly for myself): Groomer's Alias (for this): Old Geezer The Where (where I worked): LakeyBakey (code name) Regions: Lake States (where I was before), Southern Hell (where he came from and returned), North Pole (where I reside now, but had visited) Old HS: WR (Wanna-be Richies) Legal Mom: The Witch (you'll see why) My bf before: Narly Dude
Old Geezer was 38 I was 18
The Story: I had gotten a job right out of graduating from WR. Well, job offer. I went in for the interview for this place called LakeyBakey (not actually what it was called, but again code naming everything). I honestly was shocked about the place as it was a business/corperate type thing. But one of my friends was bragging to their father about me being more mature than your average teen. It was pretty exciting. I ended up starting the day after the graduation ceremony. The first week there was just training. There was one guy who was intrigued by the newbies. Specifically me, but was subtle about it. He didn't really start chatting with me until the third week of having the job. But my Legal Mom, The Witch, wanted to use me graduating as an excuse to have a vacation to an Alabama beach. Now, I'm not ungrateful, but I've express to The Witch several times about my fears of oceans. I'm fine with Lakes, but Oceans were a whole different thing for me. I told her countless times about how I wanted to go to a country side, somewhere for me to do some stargazing and research of the night sky. That was my Vacation. But back to my grooming story. The week after returning, I was briefed on how to start the job (aka no more training, which there's two weeks of training for LakeyBakey, but the second week is just getting you set with being on the FlooPhones). I got a message on Slack (This is like the business form of Discord. They are very similar in set up) from a guy. Old Geezer was just checking to see if I needed any help. He'd constantly ask if I needed help. But soon the comments went from asking if I needed help, to mild flirting. I had promptly brought up how I had a boyfriend and was happy with him. I had told the story of how we really connected. Well, more of how I connected with Narly Dude. Narly Dude actually saved me from an attempt and more than proved he cared for me. I mentioned in a Slack message to Old Geezer that I felt like I somewhat owed Narly Dude for practically saving my life. And that's when it started mildly. He got his foot in the door of my mind. He told me, "That's not fair to him. If you're only dating him because you feel like you owe him, that's just wrong." (AN: That wasn't the case, but the guy was twisting my words and basically guilt tripping me). Then after a bit of him doing more of that to me, he'd start telling me about all these things he could offer me. A place near the countryside, being able to be around nature more, and so much more that I'd never receive. A few weeks later, he told me he wanted to see a park I loved to frequent, to take in the nature that I love so much. So I told him about it, and he told me I should show him around. So I did. And then he lured me to the bathrooms and illegally tengo-ed with me (SA if you're not sure what I meant by that). I was still with Narly Dude at this time, but from this happening, I felt so guilty. The guilt from letting myself get in that situation when I was happily with someone else. I was sick from myself with the guilt. I ended up breaking up with Narly Dude soon after. And once Old Geezer heard of this, he didn't hold back with the flirting. Well, not long after, the friend he was living with caught drift of what Old Geezer was up to. That friend kicked him out. And that friend's wife and wife's best friend reach out to The Witch and My sister. Once The Witch heard about this, she confronted me about it. But she did it so passive-aggressively. Because of my past trauma I had before I came to live with The Witch, I learned how to pay attention to people's tones. I knew her "I'm irritated and I plan on getting you in trouble, but I'm going to act like we're having a normal conversation first" tone very well. And she was using that one. Constantly saying she's "worried for me" and when I kept asking for her to leave me alone to think and cool down, she wouldn't. She just sat there by my bedroom door, refusing to leave and continuing to bash on me subtly. I started to raise my voice to the point that my Legal Dad came in to see what the issue was. That's when all hell broke loose. I lost it at them and they ended up saying to me, "Fuck you. Fuck off!" So I grabbed a few of my things and went out the door and a friend's family took me in. I stayed there for a month. The family helped me in getting an apartment of my own. And once I did, I also had a roommate. Well, Old Geezer took me being homeless practically as a way to have full grasp on me. Once I had my apartment, I was never allowed there. We could only be at his apartment which he got a month prior. His reasoning? No one knew of that address. He'd constantly belittle my "teen moments" (when I was having high anxiety, or just was struggling with past trauma issues) with saying "You're 18 year old is showing". His goal was to make me a submissive house wife. But he never intended to marry me (even though I've express I only date to marry). This went on for 6-ish months. He stopped listening to me. He always had these audio books on and wouldn't pause it until I've repeated myself 5 times. He'd say when I felt the need to cry that I was being overdramatic and a crybaby. And when he'd want to do bed time, he'd use the terms that had haunted me in high school when my boyfriend at the time had SA-ed me ($!ut, and wh0r3). He would pin me down to tickle me (sometimes licking me) and didn't stop until I'd bite him, even though I would scream for him to stop it. He would mostly do this when I would stay up a bit later to watch something or play a game a little longer than when he wanted to sleep. It was his way of getting me to go to sleep with him. But whenever I did the same, he'd just say my "18 year old was showing). He even made me stop talking to friends. Told me that I should wait at least 5 years to unblock my sister. When I didn't want to sleep in the same room, he would drag me back to the room where we both *had* to sleep (sometimes even by the hair). And like I said, this went on for 6-ish months. Well, in November, I decided to visit my biological father and his side of the family up in the North Pole. I was more open with them about what was going on in the relationship. And a week after I returned back to the Lake States, my aunt had told me she believed he was grooming me. Several of my remaining friends agreed with her. And on December 8th I tested positive for Covid. And because Old Geezer is "old and thus had a weak immune system" I was thrown to the apartment that was mine until the symptoms started to go away. In that time, I made some new friends through the Roblox game Mic Up (actually through further events from this, I actually found my current Boyfriend who has been a massive blessing with helping me get through all the trauma). I realized how much I missed having friends closer to my age--well, friends in general. And the time away really got me the time I needed to feel the ick I had felt when it all started. About the third day in, Old Geezer wasn't liking how much I was not under his surveillance so he brought me back to my apartment. I think it was the second night of me being back to his place, I snapped at him for not letting me stay up later to game. I'm young, I don't work the next day, I should be able to do such. So I stormed into another room and locked myself in to do so. About 10 minutes later, I heard the apartment door slam. He left. So I went to the bathroom to calm down when I heard some night time noises. From the neighbor. The one who's a single lady. So I rushed out of the apartment building and called my biological father, sobbing. Telling him how certain I was that Old Geezer was cheating on me. About 2 minutes of me calming down from the crying/sobbing moment, I watch Old Geezer walk out of the building and to the Apartment's Gym (it's in a separate building and this one in particular came with one). So I snuck my way back into the apartment, gathering up my things. When he came back, I confronted him about what I heard. While doing so, he gave me a drink as he poured himself one. He told me that there was nothing for us if I couldn't trust him. I don't really remember how the conversation ended because I lost consciousness. I woke up the next morning. The week after that situation, I'd make excuses for needing to stay at my apartment more while I gained the courage to do what was needing to be done. I gave some trusted friends Old Geezer's address and even told them to give the police my phone number if they didn't hear from me after a certain time. Once I got to Old Geezer's place, I confronted him. I let it all out. About how he'd ignore me, never really listened to my feelings, and not being able to trust him. He made excuses. Saying he'd "start listening better and changing" that "we could always work to rebuild that trust". I told him "You had the chance to change and listen and you didn't take it." And once it was settled that what we had was over, I got my stuff packed into a car and made it back to my apartment. The words "I'm Free" becoming louder and louder as I got closer to my apartment and locked the apartment door. Once the door was locked, I slid to the floor and just silently sobbed mixed tears (tears of joy and pain). About 3 days after this happening, he made one of my online friends send me a "letter that he wrote" (spoiler: it was a ChatCPT generated thing). He said he supposedly went straight back to Southern Hell. I had told the friend to cut ties with him or I'll block her. I wanted nothing to do with him. Well about a week later, The Witch invited me to a Christmas Party with the family. I confessed to her about what was happening. That I learned my lesson from the whole thing. I even brought up how I had several people (one being my therapist, but I didn't mention her) telling me it was a grooming relationship. The Witch promptly said that "Adults cannot be groomed". And after me confessing everything to her, she said that she was "greatly disappointed in me". There was no validation. It wasn't until several months later that I realized that she and Old Geezer had shared some mentally abusive tactics of manipulation. Which was why it was so easy for Old Geezer to get past my defense system for so long.
I also have since moved away from the Lake States for several different reasons, including my safety. I was told by The Witch that if I moved that I "shouldn't consider ever reaching out again" that I "would no longer be her family or daughter if I moved". So that's the story. And within a week of me uploading this, I'll be turning 19. A Year since everything went downhill. So yes, this happened in 2023.