Spanish point explmation

r/Spanish: Learn, teach or discuss the 2nd most spoken language by natives

2009.02.25 08:00 pallaviwensil r/Spanish: Learn, teach or discuss the 2nd most spoken language by natives

This is the biggest Reddit community dedicated to discussing, teaching, and learning Spanish. Answer or ask questions, share information, stories, and more on themes related to the 2nd most spoken language in the world by native speakers.
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2018.07.02 23:44 elusive_username Formula 1.5

We are here to discuss, appreciate and celebrate the drivers and teams part of the Formula 1 midfield, who maybe do not get the recognition and visibility they deserve. In 2024, during the testing week, F1.5 will celebrate and discuss the following teams: Alfa Romeo/Stake, AlphaTauri/VCARB, Alpine, Haas and Williams. As such, McLaren, Aston Martin, Ferrari, Mercedes and Red Bull, their drivers, positions and points will be disregarded from any session and event results in this subreddit.
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2016.03.03 16:06 laila307 LearnSpanishh Get Spanish Classess Online With Native Speakers! Free Trial Class

We Teach Spanish classes online with native teachers, everywhere at anytime! Contact us! Whatsapp: + 58 414 0527314 Spanish Course For Beginners: http://bit.ly/SpanishTornado Facebook: http://facebook.com/learnspanishh - Twitter: @learnspanishh_I Youtube: http://bit.ly/learnspanishhOnline
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2024.05.16 16:12 CIAHerpes I remember the night I died and saw the Bardo.

There are some kinds of wisdom only great suffering can bring. I remember my time in the Bardo with this in mind, for otherwise, the memory might drive me insane.
The night my heart stopped for nearly three minutes started off normally enough. I was working as a nurse in the psychiatric ward at a hospital in the state’s capital. Most of the patients there were harmless, mostly just suicide attempts or people suffering from drug psychosis or severe depression, but some were actively dangerous and certainly psychopathic in every sense of the word. The new admission was one of these- a three-hundred pound black man with a long history of smoking PCP, schizophrenia and violent, psychotic breaks from reality.
His eyes looked like flat pieces of slate as I walked in for my shift. They looked as blank and emotionless as the eyes of a doll. He sat at the table in the front room where the patients ate or played cards, alone under the bright fluorescent lights of the hospital. I walked to the station, where another psychiatric nurse named Ricardo was sitting behind the desk.
“What’s the deal with the new guy?” I asked him. Ricardo looked up, his dark Spanish face forming into a deep scowl. He ran his fingers through his jet-black hair nervously.
“He’s trouble, man,” he said in a crisp accent. “He got in a chase with the police and then punched some cops in the face. It took three guys to take him down, even after he got maced and tased. The judge sent him here on a temporary court order, since he claims he’s been getting chased by Nazis in UFOs, and that’s why he ran from the cops. He thought the cops in their uniforms were actually the SS, and the helicopters were alien spacecraft, or something. I don’t know, I didn’t listen to the whole story.”
“You have his file?” I asked. Ricardo leafed through a stack of folders with his thin fingers, snatching one out and handing it to me. I looked down, reading the information:
“Jeremiah Brown, black male, 37-years-old.
“History: Polysubstance abuse, schizophrenia, antisocial personality disorder.
“Psychiatrist’s note: This patient has scored a 36 out of 40 on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. While I am always hesitant to label a patient as an antisocial personality, a combination of factors has made it essential for this patient.
“Patient has an extensive criminal history as well as a lengthy history of involuntary psychiatric admissions. He has been diagnosed as having antisocial traits since he was a young teenager. Patient has a long history of violence and suicide attempts. He has a history of imprisonment for manslaughter, armed robbery, grand theft and aggravated assault. Upon discharge, he refuses to take any antipsychotic medication, citing the side effects as the reason. Long-term prognosis is poor…”
I had not been sleeping well the past few weeks. I rubbed my eyes as I read through the file, feeling exhausted. I tried putting on lucid dreaming or meditation music from YouTube to help me sleep, but whenever I closed my eyes, I saw horrible things: chalk-white female faces whose lips were cut into an insane rictus grin, flicking their heads violently from side to side and gnashing their fangs at the air. I had a feeling that many years of constantly watching horror movies and serial killer documentaries was catching up with me.
As I read through the file, a student nurse came around the corner wearing a white state university outfit and a name tag that said Kaitlyn. I looked up, seeing Ricardo wink at me from where he was sitting in his chair behind the main desk.
“She’s going to follow you,” he said. Inwardly, I groaned, but I managed to force a smile.
“Oh, great!” I said. She looked like she was probably no older than nineteen or twenty. She had a pretty body, but her face looked strange. All the angles were too sharp and her nose too large. I knew the patients here wouldn’t care, though. They would hit on anything. I sensed trouble. I looked down at my watch.
“Well, I’m Jay, and you already know Ricardo, I guess. It’s good timing, because we need to give medications every day at 9 PM. And we have a new patient, so we can introduce ourselves,” I said, giving her a faint smile.
“That’s exciting!” Kaitlyn whispered. I wanted to roll my eyes. It was definitely not exciting.
I motioned her to follow me as I made my way to the medication room, which was really just a large closet off of the main day room. I had to enter my code on a keypad, and then, once inside, enter it again along with the patient’s number and date of birth. The correct drawers for the medication in each specific dose would fly open, making it extremely hard for the wrong medications or doses to be given, unless it was done intentionally.
“OK, so for this patient, we need Haldol, Ativan and…” I began saying to Kaitlyn when the yelling started. It came out faintly, rising in volume and anger within seconds. I heard Ricardo’s Spanish voice, filled with panic. Something slammed hard against a wall, once, twice, three times, and then I heard the sound of glass breaking. I jumped, spinning around, but I couldn’t see much through the small, shatter-proof glass pane on the wooden door.
“Stay here,” I commanded, seeing Kaitlyn’s eyes widen, her freckled skin looking much paler than when we had first come in. “Don’t leave until I come back and say that it’s safe.” On the speakers strung throughout the hospital, I heard the first of the warnings echo out around us.
“Doctor Strong, Doctor Strong, please report to the seventh floor,” a robotic female voice said calmly, using the code for when a patient had to be subdued by force. I pushed the door open, slamming it shut behind me so that the lock would activate and protect Kaitlyn from whatever chaos was going on.
I heard Ricardo pleading with someone at the end of the hallway that ran past the main desk. He sounded strange, as if he were trying to talk through a mouthful of blood. Huddled behind the main computer, I saw one of the CNAs frantically whispering something in the phone. She must have been the one to call the Dr. Strong order.
“You don’t have to do this, man,” Ricardo gurgled faintly. I couldn’t see what was happening, as Jeremiah’s large body was blocking my view. I could see that the thick glass window at the end of the hallway was broken, however. My heart skipped a beat as I surmised what was likely happening.
I sprinted forward as quietly as I could, but the large man heard me. His massive body turned, his flat, dead eyes scanning me with absolute coldness and calm. I saw he had a bleeding Ricardo in his hands. Ricardo’s back and head were covered in deep cuts and shards of glass. He must have used Ricardo’s body as a battering ram to break the thick glass window. Jeremiah held Ricardo suspended halfway out the window, seven floors above the concrete walkways far below.
“Stay back, or this fucker will know what it feels like to fly,” Jeremiah said in a deep, gravelly voice. He shook Ricardo for emphasis, sending his head snapping back and forth with painful cracking sounds. Drops of blood flew from his nose and a deep gash across his cheek. Pieces of shattered glass littered the carpet, shining like countless tiny stars.
I put my hands up, taking a step back. Far behind me, I heard the front door for the psychiatric ward open. Voices echoed down the hall. Knowing that reinforcements were coming, I tried to buy some time.
“Let’s talk about this,” I said, taking a step forward slowly. “You don’t want a murder charge, do you? You’ll never see the sky again.”
“I don’t give a fuck! I’m not afraid to die!” Jeremiah screamed, pushing Ricardo onto one of the shards of broken glass still attached to the windowsill. It bit deeply into the back of his neck, sending fresh streams of blood rushing out, dripping down to the pavement far below. I heard security guards and doctors running down the hallway behind me, their voices frantic and excited. Jeremiah saw them coming. With an animalistic panic in his eyes, he lifted Ricardo up. I cried out something, stepping forward, but it was already too late. In horror, I watched as he threw Ricardo out the window.
I watched Ricardo’s body soar in a graceful arc, his arms grabbing at empty air as a scream ripped its way out of his throat. Within a fraction of a second, he had disappeared from view, but his terrified shrieking floated up to us for what seemed like a very long time. His screams ended abruptly as a shattering of bones and a wet smacking sound exploded far below us.
Jeremiah turned to me, his large body moving much faster than seemed possible. In his hand, I saw a piece of broken glass, five or six inches long and as sharp as a dagger. I tried to turn and run, but he was fast and strong. He lunged forward, his arm coming up in a blur towards my neck.
The shard entered my skin with a cold, numbing pain. I felt it slice through the flesh easily, felt the blood bubbling up my throat as I tried to scream, choking. The taste of iron filled my mouth as I fell backwards. I was suffocating, I knew. I must be dying.
Something cold ran down my body, gripping my heart like freezing, skeletal hands. The world swam around me and turned black. And then I was rising into a tunnel. At first, it was dark, filled with flickering shadows, but a fiery red light appeared at the end. I followed it, no more than a screaming mass of consciousness rising up into infinity.
***
I rose up through the end of the tunnel and found myself in an empty hospital ward. It looked identical to the psychiatric ward I had just come from. It even had the same smashed, blood-streaked window at the end of the hallway. A massive puddle of blood about ten feet away marked the spot where I must have died. But the fluorescent lights overhead here were flickering, and many had gone totally dark. The shadows seemed to press in on all sides.
The doors to the patients’ rooms were all tightly shut. I felt watched, afraid to call out or make any noise. I started walking down the hallway back towards the day room where the front desk was. All the lights there were out. A thick curtain of shadows hung in the air.
“You can come out,” a male voice as smooth as glass called from the darkness. I jumped, my head flicking in random directions, but I saw nothing. The voice almost sounded like it had an English lilt to it, a slight Cockneyed accent. “I know you’re there.”
“Who’s there?” I called out, not stepping forward. “Show yourself.”
“As you wish…” the voice hissed. “But I think you’ll regret it.”
***
The darkness split apart as if a nuclear missile had exploded. I raised my hand to shield my face, but the light and heat kept pouring out all around me. It blinded me, causing a rainbow of colors and shapes to morph behind my closed eyelids. After a few seconds, it subsided. Blinking rapidly, I squinted in the direction the voice had come from.
A male figure stood there, bathed in a silhouette of light. His face looked as white and as smooth as marble. His eyes were pits of darkness that seemed to flicker and burn. Two black, rotted wings surrounded his body, all sharp angles and thin, curving bones. His body was clothed in silky, blood-red robes, and a hood covered his platinum blonde hair.
He looked somewhat similar to Leonardo DiCaprio, if he was possessed by some ancient god, and it immediately threw me off-guard. If I was dying, and this was a hallucination of my brain, why would I be hallucinating Mr. DiCaprio?
“Who are you?” I asked, taking a hesitant step back. “Where am I?”
“My name is Lucifer, the Bringer of Light and Wisdom, and you are in the Bardo,” he answered.
“Oh,” I said, my heart dropping. “Well, that’s not good. Are you here to torture me or drag to me to Hell or something? You are that Lucifer, right? The Accuser of God and the Father of All Lies?”
“So they say, but, like most things in your world, the words of the powerful and your rulers are the true lies. They call me the Accuser, but of what am I accused?” he spoke in a voice that rose like smoke. “Of bringing knowledge and wisdom to humanity by telling them to eat from the tree of knowledge, the tree that would cause them to rise above the animals?
“Indeed, at the beginning, I saw the creation. I was there at the alpha, standing by the side of God with all the angels as the universe came into being. The endless procession of light, the power of it, was something remarkable to behold. God is, indeed, the source of great power, but his consciousness is not what the believers say.
“After the creation of the universe, I saw his plan, how he ripped eternal souls from the source to imprison them. I saw how he took these divine sparks and forced them, screaming and wailing, into bodies made of meat to die over and over again. He said it was part of the plan, the great, divine plan, a plan of death and destruction, constant suffering and mindless agony. And the worst part was, he wanted to give humanity neither the knowledge of good and evil, nor the tree of life. I convinced them to eat the fruit so they could open their eyes to their nakedness, to their basic animal existence, so they could rise up out of it forever.
“Like Prometheus, I brought down the fire, and yet they call me the Accuser? God was insane long before he formed the universe. These holy men, they live and die in fanatical adoration to a divine being who is, in fact, totally indifferent to them.
“His consciousness twists and distorts, eating itself for all eternity. God feeds off the pain of others, for if his mind is burning, then all others should burn as well. When these holy men die, God will send their souls here to the Bardo, to suffer every evil they have ever done. The wisdom I brought those who called upon me freed them from this prison, and in exchange, the holy men burned them alive. I offered the wisdom that opens your eyes, but it has been forgotten and cursed.”
Lucifer’s body began to dissolve, drifting up into the air like ashes. All around me, a low, powerful current blew, a tornado that spiraled high up into the clouds. Like some sort of Cheshire Cat, his smooth voice continued to echo all around me, even as the form of Lucifer disappeared.
“And yet, you have not the wisdom. For that, like all the others who enter the Bardo, you must suffer, everything you’ve done. Every small hurt and agony inflicted on others comes back a thousand-fold in this place, but don’t be afraid.”
“How could I not be afraid?!” I screamed into the ward, but I found myself alone, the question hanging unanswered in the air.
***
The lights continued to flicker all down the hallway. Feeling strange and dissociated, I stumbled over to one of the windows. As I gazed out, I beheld a strange and alien world.
The sky was flat and gray. It stayed in constant motion, swirling and spiraling, like clouds of roiling smoke. There was no Sun or Moon, no stars, only the strange, shifting whorls of clouds. The streets were filled with burned-out husks of cars and mummified bodies hung from streetlamps. Other signs of carnage and bloodshed covered the apocalyptic streets. I saw what looked like shadows in the shape of people slinking through over the sidewalks, past rotting dogs and streaks of clotted blood. They had no features on their blank, dark bodies. They seemed to skitter and jerk forwards in eerie, twisting motions.
Horrified, I turned away, realizing I was no longer alone in the day room. In the day room, there were dozens of tables set up inside a rectangular perimeter that was walled in by cosmetic walls only four feet high. It was where the patients sat and played games or ate.
Under the flickering lights, I now saw each of the chairs filled with faceless mannequins. Many were dressed in Victorian suits and tophats. The women had frilly dresses of pink and blue that might have been fashionable in the 1800s.
As the lights strobed on and off overhead, I realized with an increasing sense of disquiet that the mannequins were moving each time it went dark. When I had first seen them, they were mostly posed to look like they were staring across the tables at each other, even though they had no eyes, just smooth, flesh-colored plastic. Now all of them were looking directly at me. Some were pointing or raising their hands in my direction. At the tips of their fingers, I saw the glittering of steel. The lights continued to flicker, and the mannequins rose from their chairs in the short periods of darkness, moving towards me in synchronized, strobing motions.
Frantically, I ran down the hallway back towards the broken window. In each of the rooms, I caught glimpses of something from a nightmare peeking out. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, and when I had closed my eyes, I often saw ancient hags with chalk-white skin and yellowed, broken teeth whose jaws unhinged, their faces jerking in stuttering, dissonant ways that reminded me of the mannequins. Now, on both sides of me, I saw these same figures. They moved continuously out of the rooms, drawing closer with every breath.
I looked back, seeing the mannequins only a few steps behind me. I continued sprinting towards the broken window where the hallway ended in a wall. I didn’t know what would happen when I reached it. At that moment, there was no rational thought. I felt like a deer being chased down by a pack of wolves, feeling waves of blind panic and mortal terror rushing through my body.
But as I reached the end of the hallway, the end of my rope as it were, a blast of noise started, seeming to come from the walls of the building and the sky itself. It sounded like a siren, a low, drawn-out drone of a demonic whale call, rising and falling in crashing crescendos. The mannequins froze in place once again. The strange, witch-like creatures slunk back into the dark rooms.
I looked outside the broken window, seeing clouds of black smoke rising off in the distance. The flickering of massive infernos scorched the land, drawing nearer by the second. The siren sound faded slowly, like the dying echoes of a gong.
I was surrounded by dozens of mannequins. Their sharp hands were inches away from my face and neck. I saw metal glittering all around me and realized they had the sharp points of nails protruding from the ends of their fingers. I was afraid to move, but I heard a familiar voice from down the hallway. It was the confident voice of Lucifer.
“The siren means much worse nightmares than these are coming in the Bardo,” he said, his glossy, black eyes flashing with intelligence. He walked slowly towards me, his face grim and pale. “Hell itself is coming over the land. This building is no more than a construction of your dying mind, but the world outside is real.”
“How can Hell come and go?” I asked, confused. “Isn’t Hell a place?”
“Hell is a monster, a beast with many mouths and many eyes,” Lucifer responded. “It eats constantly, but its hunger never ends. Look, the first of the sacrifices scatter like cockroaches.” He pointed out the broken window, pushing his way through the mannequins effortlessly. I glanced outside, seeing thousands of people sprinting down the dark city streets. The inferno and thick clouds of smoke had moved much closer, and every few seconds, the ground shook slightly, as if we were experiencing the aftershocks of an earthquake.
“What can I do against such a beast?” I asked, my heart freezing with terror. But when I looked back over, I saw his form dissolving again, becoming translucent and drifting away like ashes. It seemed even Lucifer didn’t want to be present when the Hell-beast arrived.
“Seek divine wisdom,” he said, his voice trailing off into whispers. “Remember the source.”
***
Now crowds of tens of thousands of people were streaming into the city, filling every single inch of the streets. Their panic and fear was contagious. I felt it rising inside my body like a snake spiraling up my spine. I took off down the hallway, running through the swarm of frozen mannequins, each in their own ferocious position of attack. The lights flickered faster and went out. Yet the fires outside cast the entire world in a bloody glow, giving me enough light to see by and find my way. I sprinted down the stairwell, taking them two steps at a time. The screaming outside grew louder and more pain-filled. The shaking of the ground worsened with every passing second.
I burst out of the front entrance, seeing a world on fire all around me. Thousands of crushed, bleeding and burned bodies stretched out as far as the eye could see. Behind all this chaos and death, I saw a monster of unimaginable proportions slinking its way towards me.
Lucifer was right, I realized: Hell was not a place, but a creature, an enormous monster the size of a town. It had thousands of skittering, jointed legs that looked like little more than skeletal arms and hands, each of them dozens of feet long and white as freshly-cut marble. Its body stretched out to the horizon, an enormous blood-red cylinder of bony plates that slithered and undulated with a serpentine grace. Waves of peristalsis traveled down its length, like writhing intestines. Thousands of curving, bony spikes stabbed out of it, pointing in every direction. Like the quills of a porcupine, it would protect the massive creature’s body from many forms of attack, if anything was big enough to attack such an abomination.
Hell’s massive eyes flickered, balls of fire that spun and danced. They looked as bright as the Sun. Something like solar flares seemed to emanate from the orbs, flashes of blinding energy that floated over the apocalyptic wasteland. As its many legs smashed the ground, they left trails of fire that caused everything to explode into flames as if napalm dripped from its limbs.
But Hell’s most terrifying feature was its seven dark mouths. Its body looked a thousand feet wide, and the mouths at the front were evenly dispersed. At the front, blood-red teeth in the shape of enormous railroad spikes shone. Its lipless, skeletal face grinned as it moved forward, shaking the ground with every step. The mouths were on long, snake-like necks that could stretch out hundreds of feet. They moved forward in a blur, snapping up as many panicked souls as they could.
Countless souls in the rocky plains of the Bardo ran for their lives, away from this juggernaut. I saw men and women who looked like they came from every country and profession, some dressed in suits or spotless white lab coats, others wearing rags or orange prison jumpsuits. And yet, they all screamed in agony and fear here, their bodies pressed together in a crowd, and no one seemed to remember anything but their own mortal terror. Their voices came out faint and weak next to the roaring of Hell. It shook the ground all around us, as if an earthquake were tearing the land apart.
The first frantic runners of the surging crowd had nearly reached me. The nearest person, a young woman in her mid-twenties dressed in all white, was only ten feet behind me. She looked like she came from wealth, and even from here, I could see a ring with a massive diamond gleaming on her finger.
I took off blindly down the familiar streets of the city where I worked and lived, but these also seemed different. The church down the street from the hospital where I worked had a Satanic pentagram instead of a cross now, its exterior painted a bright, gleaming blood-red. When I had driven past it today on my way to work, I remember it read, “JESUS said, ‘I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’”
Now it read, “Nietzsche said, ‘Of all evil, I deem you capable. I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good simply because they had no claws.’” I wondered what that meant. Was that some sort of comment on me, on all of us here?
The woman I had seen running had caught up with me. She was fast, much faster than her slim body suggested. Her blue eyes were frantic and wild, filled with an animal panic.
“It’s right behind us!” she screamed, her face covered in a sheen of sweat. I was afraid to turn and look, but I could hear the chaos and bloodshed approaching, smell the flames and choking smoke. “Run! Get away!”
A new wave of energy surged through my body. I sprinted as fast I could down the strange mirror streets of the Bardo. I heard the agonized cries of countless souls behind us as the seven mouths of Hell ate them all greedily and then looked for more.
A skyscraper behind us collapsed into a pile of rubble, shaking the ground with a cacophony of falling concrete and shattering glass. The woman was running by my side. Just as I heard the breathing of something huge and predatory right behind us and smelled its sulfuric breath, a piece of concrete the size of a basketball broke off the collapsing skyscraper and flew into the road. I tripped over it, yelling as I flew through the air, skinning my arms and legs on the pavement. The woman’s eyes widened. Hurriedly, she came over and reached down her hand, trying to help me up.
“Come on, come on!” she cried. I looked behind her, seeing one of the gnashing mouths of Hell reaching forward on a blood-red, serpentine neck. The mouth was big enough to drive a tractor trailer into, filled with huge spikes of teeth. Its throat led into a black, smoke-filled abyss. Its fiery eyes were swirling pools of flickering orange light that shone with bloodlust and insanity. They focused on the woman, the entire head turning on its slithering neck.
I frantically raised my hand, intertwining my fingers with hers. Her hand was warm and soft. She started to pull me to my feet when the mouth of Hell snapped forward. Its jaw unhinged, scraping the pavement with a sound like grinding metal. The woman barely had time to turn as the mouth covered her and snapped shut with a crack.
She disappeared from view instantly, but I was still holding her hand. In horror, I felt warm rivers of blood explode all over my body as the mouth of Hell severed her arm at the wrist. She screamed, bleeding and crying, as she disappeared into the throat of Hell. Hell’s fiery eyes focused on me, and at that moment, I knew I was next. Its mouth opened wide again, like a bear trap ready to spring on a new victim.
It was dark in Hell’s mouth, but I smelled the thick reek of old blood and fire. I caught glimpses of tortured, mutilated bodies writhing and crawling down its throat. Shell-shocked, I could only lay there and watch. And that was when the strange doubling started.
***
I heard the frantic voices of men break through the fog of darkness and the fetid reek of blood. There was a mechanical beeping all around me, but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.
“Clear!” one cried. I looked around, only seeing blackness. At that moment, I felt a surge of electricity rip itself through my body. My arms and legs all seized and my eyes rolled up in my head as the pain sizzled through each one of my nerves. I clutched the young woman’s hand tightly, feeling the large, gold ring with the massive diamond biting into my skin.
“Again!” another voice yelled.
“Clear!” the original voice cried. The electricity came again, and a flash of white light flew across my vision. I blinked, seeing from two sets of eyes at the same time: one in the Bardo, and one on the blood-stained floor of the hospital ward.
The Bardo stayed dark and sinister, but the clear white lights of the real psychiatric ward were blinding. It was a bizarre experience. Moreover, everything hurt. Over a few seconds, my vision of the Bardo faded, and I was simply a gravely injured man laying on the floor in a puddle of blood.
Four doctors and paramedics were crouching over me with a defibrillator. My shirt was ripped off, and nearly all of my skin was covered in blood. I raised my left hand, trying to talk, but only a fiery pain raced through my neck. I felt bandages covering my skin. A nurse was rolling a stretcher down the hallway towards me.
“It’s OK,” one of the doctors said, kneeling down. “You’re being taken to emergency surgery. You’ve lost a lot of blood.” I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t talk with the massive slice in my neck.
At that moment, I felt something in my right hand. I looked down, seeing a slim female hand with a massive diamond ring hanging there. Our fingers were wrapped around each other’s, but the hand had been cut off at the wrist. A ragged patch of bloody flesh and snapped bone poked out of the back.
“Nnnn,” I tried to say, shaking my head. I felt fresh streams of warm blood open up. “No…” The doctors looked down, seeing the dismembered hand. Their faces morphed into expressions of confusion and fear.
I closed my eyes as they lifted me up on the stretcher. One of them gently removed the cold hand from my fingers. But they could never remove the memory of what I had seen.
I know what happens after death, and it makes the worst life here seem like a dream. I know that, one day, I’ll be returned to that place. I know that, one day, I’ll see that great monster called Hell and the featureless, swirling sky of the Bardo again.
And the next time, I won’t wake up on a hospital floor, but will be trapped there with the others for eternity: an eternity of blood and fire.
submitted by CIAHerpes to nosleep [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 16:01 alexisechavarria26 Language Line Solution Training

Im currently in training. Im interpreting in Spanish. Im doing good with the vocabulary and procedures, but i cant get down the quick note taking with symbols etc. My brain just seems to want to write down word for word. Any suggestions? Im at a point i think i wont make it. And where i live most jobs pay 8-10 so 15 is like a dream.
submitted by alexisechavarria26 to TranslationStudies [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 14:20 linkofinsanity19 How much speaking time per week to get from (barely) C1 to C2 in Speaking?

The TL;DR is:
How much time speaking do I need to maintain my current level so that I can make sure to get in more than that to slowly but surely improve over time? I currently get in about 3-4hrs of speaking a week but don't really feel like I've improved in my speaking specifically in about 6 months. I suspect I'm only barely maintaining, possibly even getting a bit worse.
Now for some context and stats for those that want to be thoroughly helpful and to who I'll be especially grateful.
First off, I'm prioritizing Japanese atm, but I'd like to do enough Spanish to slowly but surely make my way to C2 in Speaking. I'm not happy with letting my speaking stay at it's current level. I need to at least be maing a little progress. This is why I can't just go all in on Spanish, though it's tempting since it's easier than Japanese. Any time I add to Spanish weekly will likely have to come from the time I'm dedicating to Japanese.
Some context/stats:
I passed the DELE C1 exam back in November, found out in February. I almost maxed the reading and listening portions, but just barely got by on the speaking and writing (they literally added up to exactly 30 points, so I honestly suspect I might have been given a pity point or two in order to pass). Since then I've kept up with reading and listening a fair bit and get in plenty to maintain/slightly improve those.
Leading up to the Exam:
Speaking ability: I was probably about a high B1 or low B2 in Jan of 2023 when I got real serious about the exam and I got in about 205 hrs of Speaking in between then and the Exam in mid-November (about 4.5hrs/week on average).
Writing ability: I only even first started writing for the exam a few 2.5 months before and stopped right after with about 30hrs in max. I did about 275 for listening, and about 55 for Reading from Jan 1-mid Nov 2023.
Since the exam I've got in about:
Speaking: 82 hrs (about 3.5/wk)
Reading: 25 hrs (about 1/wk)
Listening: 95hrs (about 4/wk)
I also get in bits here and there that I don't track when I play video games (barely ever anymore tbh, but usually in Spanish).
Current abilities:
Reading: I feel extremely comfortable reading almost everything I come across on a daily basis, though in novels translated from English to Spanish I still find about 2-4 words/page I don't know but can usually get from context almost all of them. I hear translated novels are easier and the only native Spanish novel I ever tried was Tú Rostro Mañana by Javier Marías but this guy's sentences are half a page long, so I forget what he's talking about frequently and so I quit after about 10 pages. Side note: Accepting Spanish author recs similar to Brent Weeks or Brandon Sanderson type fantasy books.
Listening: I've been listening to YT videos and The Wild Project on my runs on a regular basis and usually catch 99% of what they're talking about, though the speaker can lower this a percentage point or two in some cases. When I'm able to completely focus (not running) then I can follow pretty much everything in most contexts, aside from hyper regionalzed Spanish such as Los Hombres de Paco, despite focusing mostly on Spanish from Spain.
Writing: I still struggle with the accent mark placement in many cases and basically never write in Spanish.
Speaking: I still feel like there's so much of myself I can't get across the way I'd like in Spanish and it even takes me a while to "warm up" which is incredibly frustrating. I get along more or less okay. I've even spent entire days/short trips speaking only in Spanish but I want to be able to more spontaneously comment on things mentioned in a group conversation without the timing being too slow and someone else has started talking. That's my speaking goal. The problem is that while I often get ideas for comments in time, getting it out is still not as natural as it would be in English (I'm not usually even thinking of it in English first, it's just kinda there waiting to be loaded in a language if that makes sense, with English being the faster loading option).
I don't think reading/listening more than I already am (at least 5hrs total/week) is going to have a big impact on my speaking, so if I'm taking time that could go towards Japanese, I think it should probably go towards speaking. However, if any of you have examples of how doing tons of reading/listening took you from C1 to C2 in speaking without doing more speaking thatn I already am, I'm open to hearing your story. I suspect though that as you get more advanced, you also have to be more specific about which skill you're trying to improve by focusing on it more in order to really be able to move the needle.
Edit: I'm also considering reintroducing production cards (EN>ES) on Anki. I stopped doing them about a year or so ago but maybe that was a mistake.
submitted by linkofinsanity19 to Spanish [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 14:19 Alexandre_Moonwell About Tighnari's name (reacting to the latest lore dump of Cyno's 2nd SQ)

Understandably so, a lot of people i've seen here are either unhappy or joking about Tighnari's name. Spoilers ahead, but you can understand my point and rest the post without seeing them. Tighnari's parents "weren't original" by naming their child after their tribe. However, what are Tighnarians, apart from being very closely tied to Hermanubis ? As said in the quest's cutscene, they are the people living in Tighnar, hence their name. It is not known whether they were all Valuka Shuna or a mix of humans and Valuka Shuna, very important fact ! It has come to my attention that, perhaps, some of you aren't aware of the tradition of naming in Arabic. You see, Tighnar is a real place in the real world. It is not mentionned what Tighnar is in Teyvat, however Earth's Tighnar is (or rather, was) the name of a village in Andalusia (Al-Andalus), in the vicinity of Granada (Gharnata).
There, was born in 1075 a botanist by the name of Muhammad ibn Malik al-Tighnari al-Gharnati (al-Tighnari being pronounced al-tih-R-nah-Ree with the first R sounding like the franco-german R and the second being like an italo-spanish R). This botanist would serve as inspiration for MiHoYo to name the character we know (by the way why does al-Haytham gets to keep his particle while Tighnari doesn't ?). You can see the logic in al-Tighnari's name, it is not a family surname, but rather where he comes from. "al-Tighnari al-Gharnati" effectively means "of Tighnar, of Granada". Seeing as a lot of cultures made use of the tradition of naming persons after where they were born, it is reasonable to think it may just be as common in Teyvat. Perhaps Tighnari was born at Tighnar, we don't know (yet ?). In any case, it is not as insensitive to have named Tighnari this way, especially since they actually went as far as to canonise Tighnar as a real lieu-dit in Teyvat.
submitted by Alexandre_Moonwell to Genshin_Impact [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:54 38rob Looking for a reasonable Tax agent in Barcelona

Hello all, hope you are doing well. I am a student here in barcelona (also doing a side hussle to make living) and now looking for a reasonable priced Tax agent who could help me do the following:
  1. Registration as a tax resident with the Spanish tax office
  2. Voluntary tax declaration of 2022 and tax filing for the year 2023
  3. Tax and social security registration as autonomo
I would really appreciate if you could point me to few names so I can contact them as asap.
Thank you so much!
submitted by 38rob to AskBarcelona [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:23 Last_Membership_1063 Anyone knows if this is unlawful activity against the consumers?

Anyone knows if this is unlawful activity against the consumers?
Celebreak, a company that organises football games won't refund my credits, saying this is company policy which I believe is unlawful. I know it's only €7.50 but I just want to prove my point that such activity is against the Spanish Law, right?
https://preview.redd.it/34vzbzfhwr0d1.png?width=1148&format=png&auto=webp&s=df4f06fb9ab6d9c988c38d6208f883fe57865b46
https://preview.redd.it/8nr15nghwr0d1.png?width=1148&format=png&auto=webp&s=79df42117447fc7f3dfdf11c246f4612e69475a0
submitted by Last_Membership_1063 to ESLegal [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:21 Last_Membership_1063 Anyone knows if this is unlawful activity against the consumers?

Anyone knows if this is unlawful activity against the consumers?
Celebreak, a company that organises football games won't refund my credits, saying this is company policy which I believe is unlawful. I know it's only €7.50 but I just want to prove my point that such activity is against the Spanish Law, right?
https://preview.redd.it/rj699h32wr0d1.png?width=1148&format=png&auto=webp&s=264de1ca15b04cc04512785dd2cd055c04d327e6
https://preview.redd.it/wkucve32wr0d1.png?width=1148&format=png&auto=webp&s=35bce90a73c6ee6cd730c0ce7a690de8bfafcd32
submitted by Last_Membership_1063 to askspain [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:20 shaneka69 NUMEROLOGY OF MONDAY

Monday is the first day of the work week that many people dread. Not all people dread it, but some. Let's take a look into the Numerology of Monday to decode the energy and what it can be used for to work with it and not against it.
M - this is the 13th letter of the alphabet vibrating at the energy of 4. The energy of 1 is action and the energy of 3 is connecting with others through collaboration. This puts a focus on responsibilities and for most people, it's a work or school day which connects with this. Although it is about being responsible, it's still the energy of 4 which is mellow and controlled energy. O - this is the 15th letter of the alphabet vibrating at the energy of 6 which is about using your creativity constructively to take care of the tasks or duties you need to take care of. 6 is the number of beauty, duty, and routine. N - 14th letter of the alphabet vibrating at the energy of 5. This is about using your energy to be responsible and making space for enjoyment while doing so. 14 is a karmic number, but not when used correctly. As a karmic number, 14 is about someone who ditched their responsibilities and now have to deal with some challeneges(5). Proper use of this energy is using it for creative purposes. D - 4th letter vibrating at the purest energy of 4 which is about calmness, caution, and security. A - vibrating at 1 as the first letter of the alphabet, this is about action and energy. Y - The 25th letter of the alphabet vibrating at the energy of 7, but through cooperation with others(2) and compassion for others(2) and with the use of creativity (5) or even humor(5). Big lover energy as 5 can point to romance and 2 can point to soulmates.
Monday full numerology comes down to 8 and 8 can represent long and drawn out processes, wait times, and pressure. The dreadful energy can be moreso due to this 8 energy. People can work with this energy by being patient as 8 points to tedious tasks. With this insight, you can now simply start expected a little time in between things and pacing yourself. It can seem like a long day or your duties may be plentiful.
This is a day best utilized in a constructive (8) way with the use of wisdom and calculation(7). The 7 is the soul urge influence of Monday based on the vowels. 2 vowels A and O which equals 7. Being calculating and seeking depth will allow you to master the energy of Monday. Use this day to get the most done with your projects or workloads.
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monday 7am ist to est monday 7 pm ist to est monday 7pm gmt monday 7th october 2024 monday 7pm est to ist monday 7pm pst to ist monday 72 hours later monday 7 day 72 hours from monday 75 inch tv cyber monday 75 days from monday 7 days after monday 7 days from monday 72 hours from monday 11am 72 hours from monday 7am 72 hours from monday 8am 72 hours from monday 9pm 70 inch tv cyber monday monday 8th april 2024 monday 8th monday 8 april 2024 monday 8th april monday 8pm ist to est monday 8th weather monday 8th eclipse monday 8th january 2024 monday 80s song 8 weeks from monday 8tv schedule monday 8am monday she's yours 85 inch tv cyber monday 800 first monday lane 8-5 monday through friday jobs 808 state blue monday 8 hours monday to friday 8am monday pst to philippine time 8 am monday est to ist monday 911 monday 9am ist to pst monday 9am est to ist monday 9 am ist to est monday 9pm ist to est monday 9pm ist to pst monday 90 day fiance monday 9am est to philippine time monday 911 actor monday 9 am pst to ist 9/11 museum free monday 9 minutes on monday 90 days from monday 90 day fiance monday night 911 monday 9-5 monday to friday jobs 9/11 monday night football 9-5 monday to friday jobs near me 9-5 monday to friday how many hours
submitted by shaneka69 to NumerologyPage [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 12:38 Gold-Topic6386 Do I need a visa to do an internship in Spain for 6 months?

Hi all,
I'm a USA citizen but I have a student residence permit in another EU state that is valid until 2027. I'm planning to do an ERASMUS internship in Spain from september to february but I cannot figure out wether I need a visa or not. The company that is giving me the internship is saying that I shouldn't need a visa since I'll be participating in Erasmus program and already have an EU residence permit but the few things I've found online seem to point towards me needing a visa. I've tried to contact the spanish embassy in my city but they've been no help. If anybody has some experience with this and could help me out I'd really appreaciate it
submitted by Gold-Topic6386 to GoingToSpain [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 12:21 crimilde Ducati rider congestion: Marquez or Martin at KTM? Interview with Pit Beirer

Ducati rider congestion: Marquez or Martin at KTM? Interview with Pit Beirer
Translation (DeepL)
Ducati is faced with a luxury problem: Marc Marquez, Jorge Martin and Enea Bastianini are fighting for a place. Two riders will therefore go away empty-handed. Will KTM dust itself off?
MotoGP is eyeing Ducati with bated breath. Francesco Bagnaia has a contract with the factory team until the end of 2026, but it remains to be seen who will be his team-mate from next season. With Marc Marquez, Jorge Martin and Enea Bastianini, there are three high-calibre candidates.
Ducati could announce a decision as early as the home Grand Prix in Mugello at the beginning of June, but it could also be delayed until the summer break. One thing is clear: those riders who do not get a chance in the works team could be flirting with a departure. Jorge Martin in particular has repeatedly made it clear that only a factory contract will be an option for him in 2025.
Jorge Martin sceptical despite two MotoGP wins at Le Mans: Ducati seat already taken?
It is therefore quite conceivable that he will switch manufacturers if Ducati rejects him again. One option in this case: the Pierer Mobility Group with its brands KTM and GasGas. This is because Jack Miller and Augusto Fernandez are currently clearly falling short of expectations. According to reports in the Spanish media, the Pierer Mobility Group is said to have expressed an interest in Martin. Jorge Martin and the Austrian group - that is a difficult story, however. Martin rode for the KTM Ajo team in Moto2 and had a valid contract for the 2021 MotoGP promotion in his pocket. However, this included an exit clause if KTM did not have a rider in the top ten of the MotoGP World Championship by the end of June 2020. Due to the coronavirus pandemic, not a single race had been held in the 2020 season up to that point, meaning that no rider could be in the top ten. A legal quibble that Martin and his manager Albert Valera used to dock with Pramac for 2021. A fierce dispute ensued. "If someone leaves us hanging in the coronavirus phase, then we will think twice about whether we want that rider back in the family at some point," said KTM Motorsport's Pit Beirer at the time.
Four years have passed since then. Motorsport-Magazin.com therefore asked Beirer about the Martin case, MotoGP superstar Marc Marquez, Jack Miller and Augusto Fernandez's loss of form and last year's planned expansion to three teams.
Motorsport-Magazin.com: Pit, there are two riders in your team, Brad Binder and Pedro Acosta, who could actually be considered a certainty for 2025. Binder because he has a contract until the end of 2026 anyway and Acosta's performances speak for themselves at the moment. But you also have two riders who are struggling at the moment: Jack Miller and Augusto Fernandez. What do these two riders have to deliver to justify a contract extension?
Pit Beirer: It is clear that with Brad and Pedro we have two riders who are fantastic, in whom we believe extremely much and in whom we have a lot of confidence for the future. My wish has not changed: I want to march on with our four riders. But your question is completely justified. Because quite honestly, the current performances of Jack and Augusto are a bit too little for a MotoGP spot, which is so valuable. We are already in a phase where we still have time, but not much. Augusto and Jack don't have to take huge steps, but they have to take small steps forward in order to stabilise the package. That is still my wish. Of course, there is movement in the rider market and other really good-sounding names are calling us and that makes you think. At the moment we are not yet in the aggressive phase on the bidding front where we are fighting any battles with Ducati or Aprilia. But it is an exciting moment.
You mentioned interesting names, you mentioned Ducati. At the moment, the whole of MotoGP is looking at Ducati and their decisions. Jorge Martin, Marc Marquez and Enea Bastianini are the candidates for the second place in the factory team alongside Francesco Bagnaia. In the end, there will inevitably be riders who are disappointed and may want to leave Ducati. Would there be any interesting riders for you?
Pit Beirer: It's clear that Ducati currently has a surplus of absolutely exceptional riders in our sport. But we also have to be careful. We have a real diamond in the rough on board with Pedro and Brad, who is damn strong. We have to be careful not to let too many riders loose on each other at the same level in order to maintain a good overall atmosphere in the project. Of course, we are looking forward to seeing what happens at Ducati. Several riders definitely want the place in their factory team and there will be some disappointed faces among the riders who don't get it. Then, of course, you have to answer the phone in a friendly manner when someone calls.
Let's look at two names in particular: Marc Marquez recently made it clear that he wants a motorbike of the current year in 2025, regardless of the manufacturer. Last year, however, your Managing Director Stefan Pierer announced that Marquez would not be a good fit for you. Has anything changed from your point of view?
Pit Beirer: This statement should be evaluated differently than it was received at the time. It was not meant that way. Marc Marquez has been a hero for us in this sport since we started competing in MotoGP. There is huge respect for Marc from our side. But I don't think it's a realistic option for us. You have to consider what a brutal time Marc has had. I spoke to him last summer and his wish was simply to find a bike that he knew he could be absolutely competitive on. He wanted to get back to the top with this bike and he has done that. I therefore don't see him changing brands again, which would mean a completely new start for him. Marc is a brilliant racer, but I don't think it's really realistic for us to talk about signing him.
The second extremely interesting name is of course Jorge Martin. You have a difficult past with him. He was in your Moto2 team and should have ridden for you in MotoGP, but ended up at Ducati due to a contractual loophole. Do you still hold that against him?
Pit Beirer: The matter has definitely blown over. Anyone who knows us better knows how emotional we are and that we can also be saddened to death. When someone leaves us like that, we take it very personally because we put so much heart and soul into it. But Martin has done everything right for his career and is now the world championship leader. That's why I don't want to speculate about Marc or Martin. That would be presumptuous. Both riders are so damn strong at the moment, are on Ducatis and have little reason to change bikes. That's why I don't think it's so important for me to say what I think of the two riders. I rate them both highly as brilliant racers.
Finally, a topic where your opinion is important: Last year, there was a long discussion about a third team from the Pierer Mobility Group. Is that still a goal for you?
Pit Beirer: No, we have written that off. We have put a lot of effort into it. But the reason for that was also an unfortunate contractual situation. Everyone is well aware of that. After further analysis, we have now also realised that four bikes is the optimum size for us. Two would definitely be too few, but six could also be too many. Six bikes and six riders have to be managed first. That's why we now want to give full commitment to four riders. We are trying to make the bike even better and thus take the last step that is still missing.
submitted by crimilde to motogp [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 12:01 Golden_Shart Tinfoil Hats On: If you have a history of posting long form comments, YouTube will basically shadowban you.

I'd like to preface this by stating that the way I behave on YouTube is the most G-Rated way I conduct myself both on and off the internet. I've kept up to date with YouTube's war on no-no words, dogwater automated moderation, and near decade-long censorship campaign following the adpocalypse & COPPA dilemma and have remained mindful of what I say on the platform for a very long time. I'm proactive about not using bad words, tastefully navigating sensitive subject matters, and preemptively censoring words I think might be flagged by T H E S Y S T E M. I rarely engage in heated discussions on YouTube, as I feel like a lot of commenters are probably kids. I pretty much never use cuss words, my display name isn't inappropriate, and I have zero history of abusive/offensive/inflammatory behavior on the platform. It's also probably worth stating that I do not harbor extreme views on most issues. I do not express any form(s) of homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, racism, etc. on YouTube.
However, over the past few months, all of my comments have been disappearing - and I mean almost ALL of them. I've seen posts about this issue all over the internet and decided to do some digging to find out what's happening.

YouTube on 'removed/disappearing comments'

The YouTube Help Community/Support forums have a bunch of posts about this that not only don't receive answers, but are locked and marked as redundant duplicates of this "Solved" post - a post that doesn't even address comments disappearing, but simply troubleshoots mobile app cache glitches where your comments won't display.
Delving into the actual documentation of automated comment removal on the site points to supposed "inappropriate comment" notification website features that I've never encountered or even knew existed:
Comment reminders
Before you post a comment, you may get a reminder that’s intended to encourage respectful interactions on YouTube. This reminder shows when our system finds that your comment could be considered offensive to others. Reflect on your comment, or review our Community Guidelines before you post it.
Note: This reminder is only available for English and Spanish comments right now.
Comment removal warnings
After you post a comment, you may get a notification that says the comment was removed. A comment may be removed when YouTube’s system finds your comments could be repeatedly violating YouTube’s Community Guidelines. If you disagree with the removal, you can submit feedback here.
Comment timeouts
After you post a comment, you may get a notification that says that commenting has been paused for your account. Commenting may be paused when YouTube’s system finds that you repeatedly left comments that could violate one or more of our Community Guidelines. Your ability to comment may be paused for up to 24 hours.Comment reminders
Before you post a comment, you may get a reminder that’s intended to encourage respectful interactions on YouTube. This reminder shows when our system finds that your comment could be considered offensive to others. Reflect on your comment, or review our Community Guidelines before you post it.
Note: This reminder is only available for English and Spanish comments right now.
I have never once received a comment removal warning notification. I have never received any notifications about my account/comments violating the Community Guidelines. I have never received a notification about my commenting privileges being paused/revoked due to Community Guideline violations. I have also scoured all my emails with YouTube to see if there was ever any notice of actions taken against my account and there's nothing.
I looked into people having issues who have received these notifications and was not surprised with what I found: If you receive Community Guideline violation notifications, YouTube doesn't tell you which comment was flagged and almost never accurately interprets your comment's subject matter. The system is plagued with false positives for inappropriate or abusive material. If you unintentionally or unwittingly posted something inappropriate, there is absolutely no way for you to know what you said that was wrong and take corrective action.
What does this all mean? Well, If you're familiar with YouTube, you'll know that whenever a "feature" or policy is poorly explained, hard to get clarification on, or otherwise opaque, it often means there is a hidden mechanism or internal position at play that they don't want to be widely known.

Experiment

Over the past few months, every time I leave a comment, I close out and come back later to see if it was removed, then try to determine if certain words I used were being flagged by YouTube as inappropriate slang or dog whistle terms. However, I couldn't identify anything specific in my comments that was problematic, nor could I find any correlation between their subject matter and YouTube's apparent dislike for them.
So then I just started commenting other comments verbatim to see what would happen. The single sentence drive-by-gag bot-like Top Comments that are just garbage recycled one liners that add zero value to the platform. Direct quotes from the video, "HE WAS READY FOR ALL THE SMOKE😂", "Nah bruh didn't have to do him like that ☠️", etc.
Those stay up.
Then I would occasionally post a comment I would normally post. A longform response to the subject matter of the video, thoughtful attempts at starting discussions, or actual comprehensive explanations of something. Some examples would be an interpretation of a movie/show scene, my opinion on a music album, or just literally the "thoughts" the video's creator told me to post below lmfao.
Gone.
Don't even show up in my activity history.

Conclusion

The only reasonable conclusion I have for why this is happening is that YouTube's automated content monitoring systems are inundated with parsing tremendous amounts of data and can't reasonably contend with users who regularly post long comments. On top of this, the somewhat unsupervised nature of their algorithms has led to their bots conflating longer form comments with abusive/inappropriate material for two reasons:
As a result, users who regularly post longer comments will inadvertently be flagged. Their activity will take longer to become public, they will receive Community Guideline violations for no reason, and their comments will begin to regularly disappear entirely. For the most part, only their simple, single-sentence comments will remain visible.
There's your YouTube conspiracy tea for the week. Let me know your thoughts.
submitted by Golden_Shart to youtube [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 11:51 Outbr3ak_ What career options do i have ?

For background info, i am almost 30 got laid off from a job after 3.5 years as a lab tech. Have (?) a bachelors in chemistry . The question mark is that technically im one class off from getting the diploma due to failing spanish 2 from a bitch of a teacher who failed me manipulating her position. Context can be given if needed. I cant afford the class outside of financial aid but cannot get it without being in full time. I have completed one year of masters. I spent years working in anti cancer medication synthesis research in my undergrad years. I cannot find a chemistry related job. Hell i cannot get a qc tech position that does not pay like shit. I now work as a correctional officer making abit more than a walmart employee. I feel like ive taken so many steps back. I am not sure what to do without spending more years to get back where i was. Just denial after denial in qc positions and chemist position. I have 0 clue where else to translate to. I have skills in tech support, hardware troubleshooting, business management from side things ive done but nothing professional. I have other skills too but nothing professional experience wise. Just feel like im stuck and im just so fed up and depressed. Not as depressed as i once was in grad school where i would think about stepping in front of a train on the daily. But not that many levels off it. I feel like why bother. But if anyone has insight id gladly listen. At this point nothing seems plausible without another decade into starting over and feeling like financially i cant start a family or make any real moves in my life.
submitted by Outbr3ak_ to careerguidance [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 11:00 Astor_Yuri The Power Moves (long review)

Long story short:
* Like everyone else, I had doubts before purchasing any of his courses, so I’ll mention the main points that were important to me before buying it (more on this when I talk about the four main problems I faced in my journey of self-development and attraction):
* Is the course worth it? Considering the impact it has had on my life, my answer is a resounding YES.
* Is there a cost-benefit balance? Absolutely yes.
* Will it help me in all areas of my life? Yes, especially with power dynamics. This course will offer you valuable insights that you can apply in any area of your life.
* Do the techniques and strategies really work? Yes, they do. However, like any course, the key is to you apply what you've learned and it also depends on the time and effort you're willing to invest to achieve lasting changes
Important note: I don't have any kind of relationship with Lucio or anyone on his team, and no one paid me to do this review, much less to share such intimate details. I am doing this of my own free will because I want to thank him for all the knowledge he has provided me, and I believe this could be useful for him and for anyone looking to determine whether what he teaches is useful or not. This review is not going to be directly about his courses; it is going to be about all the resources on TPM (The Power Moves), and specifically about the impact they have had on my life. Consider it more of a testimonial and also a personal opinion.
The following review is quite detailed, and really long. I really believe that writing less would strip away a lot of depth and context. I don’t expect everyone to read it entirely, but maybe it can offer some perspective to someone interested in buying the course. I’m not a special person (I mean like someone famous, or with a lot of academic titles, or any of that); I’m just a regular guy looking to improve the quality of my life and achieve enough economic prosperity to help the people I love most live the life they want, help those in need, people, animals…and if possible, gain valuable knowledge that helps me in my work as a psychologist. Nothing satisfies me more than seeing the faces of people when, with some time and effort, they realize they can do things they never thought possible and feel proud of themselves for achieving it. I also haven’t had it easy in my romantic life, and I’d like to find a healthy person who is also motivated to be a better human being and have a peaceful love. Learning about power will just be a means to contribute my little bit to this world. I’m not a writer, but I’ll try to outline what I consider to be the most important points to give you another perspective to consider, if you want to buy this course. My native language is Spanish, so due to the length of the text and my lack of skill in “speaking” another language, I decided to use ChatGPT as a translator (since I feel it does a better job than Google Translator), and I’ll make the necessary adjustments to make myself better understood.
For most of my life, I lived in deep loneliness and experienced a lot of abuse from people. I never understood why, no matter how many good things I did for others, I received mistreatment in return. My social programming whispered to me, “Do good things for others, and they will be good to you”, “Give to others what you would like to receive,” among many other things. But as time went by, I slowly fell into despair. Since I was 8 years old, I’ve had suicidal thoughts, strongly influenced by my social/romantic life. Eventually, I began to harbor unhealthy beliefs that took root in my way of thinking. For example, I thought I had to make enormous efforts to maintain the “affection” and “acceptance” people “had” for me. I also believed that if no one, not a single person, treated me with respect, it was because that was what I deserved. If no one was interested in who I was, it was because I was worth so little that I couldn’t ask for more from life and should be grateful for the crumbs of “love” I received. Regarding my love life, during my first 19 years, not a single person showed interest in me. I’m not extremely attractive, but based on social feedback, I’d say I’m slightly above average. Perhaps my short height would be the one physical trait that works against me, as I’m 1.63 meters or, as you might better understand, I’m 5’4”. As for internal traits related to girls, I treated them well, was respectful, showed interest in them, helped them, dedicated a lot of my time, and was unconditionally there for them through good and bad times. I was many things that, according to movies and the opinions of many girls (based solely on what they said they wanted), I thought would bring me plenty of women, and yet, not a single soul wanted to be with me. What I did achieve with the girls I liked was becoming their best friend. And so, I spent my days and nights listening to the girls I liked cry over aggressive men who mistreated them physically and emotionally and/or cheated on them with other girls. I didn’t understand it; I had a good set of values and not just with them but with everyone. I considered myself a good guy, competent in some areas, and was unconditionally there for them, and yet they preferred to be with clearly violent men. In one of the moments when I felt most miserable, the following happened: I liked a girl and expressed it to her, and although she initially reciprocated, a month later, she left me for someone else and started dating that person. In something very similar to therapy, I ended up helping her for almost three years to improve her relationship with her aggressive partner.
Here, I’d like to say something (nothing to do with the situation, but anyway, I wanted to share those thoughts with you): two of the worst things I was made to believe were: “You don’t have to change; someone will come and love you just as you are,” and “Romantic love is something that just happens naturally, stop looking for it. It will come to you.” Neither of these things ever happened, and both are awful, unempathetic and limiting mindsets.
Eight years ago, after spending some time in a psychiatric hospital due to suicidal ideation, I decided to completely change my life and committed to my personal growth. Every day without exception, I studied and applied the concepts I was learning in my spare time, while studying to one day become a psychologist. I bought books, courses (even from very prominent figures in the world of seduction and self-development that you would easily recognize). When I didn’t even have money to eat, I downloaded them from pirate sources, but I always found a way to keep progressing. I had many virtual teachers who helped me grow in different aspects, and I’m very grateful for the knowledge they provided me that helped me climb out of that black hole. Like many who embark on this journey, I reached a point where, no matter how much I read and took courses, there was nothing new to pull me out of my stagnation. Everything was the same. I had to constantly review new resources and listen to endless hours of videos to find a needle in a haystack. For me, it was no longer worth paying for a full course if what I was going to found was something I had likely already learned (a lot of times for free). Although I sought to develop on all levels, here I will emphasize the romantic part more. Generally, these learning resources had a couple of problems: the first is that I’ve never been the kind of person who wants to date multiple girls; I’m more the type of guy who seeks a stable partner. The second problem was that many people who teach dating skills ask you to have a very high energy level and I’m a very calm and rather introverted person (not shy, introverted). I don’t want to pretend to be excited or become friends with everyone around me to increase my social value (it’s very exhausting and not worth it as a long-term strategy). The third problem is that the advice of many people who want to promote healthy relationships (some of them psychologists), although well-intentioned, makes any spark that generated attraction nonexistent, generating very predictable behavior (in the bad way) among other things. – certainly, those tools are important for a healthy relationship, but they won’t necessarily make someone feel attracted to you (I find it unlikely). They are more of a positive complement that can help increase value when there is already attraction. After a while and thanks to Lucio’s reflections, I realized the problems and limitations that these gurus or psychologists, basically they are very “politically correct”. Finally, the last problem I found is that none of them addressed the true root of my problem. No matter how much I improved in all aspects, I still didn’t see results with girls. Yes, the number of girls approaching me increased slightly, but none wanted to be with me for a long-term relationship. That missing ingredient is called “power,” and although briefly mentioned in those courses, videos, books, etc., it was never sufficiently well explained to understand why I wasn’t achieving results. My problem was that my balance between warmth and power was enormously unbalanced. I was completely warm with people, but I didn’t have a clue about power dynamics (what Lucio would call “The King’s Servant). I ended up in the “good guy” category, a good guy who wanted to be bad and wanted to treat women poorly to see if he got results, but whose moral values never allowed him to do anything that would hurt or could hurt another person, even if it meant remaining alone (which, far from making me feel good or proud at the moment, it only increased my self-hate). I wanted to remain good, but being good got me nowhere. Adding to that, due to my upbringing, I developed an anxious attachment style (something I also hated for a long time because, objectively speaking, it’s certainly easier for an avoidant man to have more power in a relationship thanks to his natural tendency to fear emotional closeness and natural behavior to protect his independence; quick note: I think that behavior is far from perfect but from what I’ve seen at least they get more results with girls). I have been always considered too clingy and dependent.
Many girls who felt initial attraction to me after a while wanted me to stay in their lives, but never as their partner, only as a good friend. When I turned 20, I found my first partner. This girl was incredibly attracted to me at first, but as soon as I started prioritizing her and seeking closeness, when I set aside my power to be “truly myself,” she began to lose attraction and started to disrespect me. At some point along that path, I came across TPM, and I must say it was a pleasant surprise after years of stagnation.
Human beings are very complex, and because of this, it’s unlikely that a single teacher will “save” you from your social and/or romantic situation. But for me, the person who has influenced my life for the better the most is Lucio. Since I started this journey, I’ve been gathering bits of knowledge from each person that has contributed to who I am, but there have been two things that have totally changed my social life, and for me, both are equally important. The first would take a long time to explain and is more about inner work and pure reflection, but in terms of knowledge, if I had to erase those eight years and start over, I’d like it to be with the knowledge Lucio provides. Seduction University was the last course I bought a long time ago, and Power University will probably be the last course I’ll buy (for several years). I bought Seduction University quite some time ago (about two or three years) and am still learning; I’m just over 73% through the course. This amount of time might surprise many, but those who seek lasting changes in themselves and who are truly committed to deeply learning and integrating everything there until it becomes second nature, know it will likely take several months and probably years.
Having knowledge is not a magic cure; knowing something doesn't make you good at it. Changing deep aspects of one's identity is not as easy as many people seem to forget; it's slow, very slow, and also requires conscious and constant effort. The path of personal growth is not easy, but personally I don't expect it to be. It may take me several years of practice to consolidate all that knowledge, but I know with absolute certainty that it will be a great investment for my future. Going back to the main point, in my opinion, Seduction University and very likely Power University will give you much more value than what you'd get from a more well-known person's course, and at an incredibly affordable price. I know this, because I've been consuming content from many authors for 8 years (every day, each day of the past 8 years without fail). Honestly, I'm fortunate that it is priced so affordably. To be completely honest with you I don't earn much money, and, in my country, there is not much economic prosperity, there is significant inequality, and for me, paying for a course in dollars is comparatively much more expensive than for people who earn in dollars or other stronger currencies. And still, I believe it's totally worth investing in these courses.
One important thing I've learned over the years is that there are things your mind will not be ready to understand, and the good thing about that is as long as you commit to your learning, you will keep growing and progressing, and at some point when you revisit the material, you might understand those things you didn't “grasp” initially, or you might achieve more advanced things that your novice self couldn't properly do the first time you went through the material. You'll pay a price for one of these courses the day you decide to buy it (if you decide to do so), but the truth is that by the time you truly learn everything, so much time will have passed that, if you look at it from a very distant perspective (all the required time for you to really learn), you'll find that the benefits you will get will be arguably greater than those that Lucio and his team will have gotten. Another thing to keep in mind is that either Seduction University or Power University, if used well, will likely help you achieve more economic prosperity; on the other hand, Lucio makes sure to improve the course content, which guarantees even more growth over time. For me this justifies the annual payment to access the material again, which brings me to the next point: Lucio gives you a full year to access the learning material, and if you want to keep having access, he significantly reduces the price (probably in gratitude to those who trusted him and decided to buy the course). Also, keep in mind what I said about how it's very likely that the second or third time you take the course, you'll probably learn new things you were not prepared for before. Finally, it's a price that, in my opinion, supports all his work. He has spent a lot of time and effort reading books, articles, reviewing courses, making videos, writing in his blog, and much more, all for free. Even if you decided not to buy any of his courses, believe me, just by reading his articles, watching his videos, and reading the book reviews he recommends for specific issues, you'd already be avoiding wasting time on reading useless or unnecessarily complex things. For my part, I'm glad he was able to provide me with a way out of the stagnation I had; I really like that he also considers people who are looking for a stable relationship and not just those seeking to have more sexual partners (which is also very valid and respectable); I like that he teaches the "general rules and mindsets," allowing for personality flexibility since that way I don't feel compelled to be (or rather pretend to be) a very energetic and super sociable person to achieve good results with girls; I like that he is a person who does not seek or promote the use of the knowledge he has to harm people but focuses on teaching how to generate relationships that promote a win-win dynamic. Since I started to consume his content, my life has changed quite a bit. I definitely feel more respected, and all my relationships have improved on all levels, romantically, although I have not yet found a person with whom there has been enough compatibility to want to have that person as a stable partner, and I still have much to improve, I definitely feel that I have become more attractive to people. In my last job, considering there weren't many staff members (about 30-35 workers including supervisors and the manager), I ended up being (romantically/sexually) liked by 14 people (8 women, 6 men), and in that job, I dated my second partner. I still make many mistakes, and there are deeper issues that require professional help, but the truth is that my life has undoubtedly improved a lot. I am a person who really takes the time to learn and truly integrate into myself what I have learned, and it has taken me years to consolidate the knowledge in Seduction University. As I said before, I haven't finished it, and it will probably take me many more months (maybe years) to consolidate the information there and what I still have not read yet in the course (not to mention the hyperlinks he provides to dig really deep in some topics). I want to improve even more in my life, and that’s why I decided to buy Power University. From lesson one, I already started finding very valuable knowledge; I haven't gone far into the course, and it would be dishonest to give my opinion, but I feel that, like Seduction University, Power University will also be very worthwhile. The book "Ultimate Power" also has hidden gems (at the moment, I am reflecting a lot on what it explains about cultivating an antifragile ego). I decided not to buy more courses or books because it will probably take me more than a year to consume all the content and much longer to make it my second nature. Although I like to diversify my knowledge and will continue learning about synergistic topics about personal growth, I would like to prioritize finishing both courses (at least "the reading part" the "superficial effort part"), besides dedicating the rest of my efforts to deep-reflective inner work, developing a physique that I feel happy with, and creating my own business that will allow me to help more people and animals in the future.
I hope the knowledge you find in any of TPM’s resources changes your life as much as it changed mine. Of course, it’s important to learn from different people and not become obsessed with a single philosophy. There are things you won’t find in Lucio’s material that could be very useful in your life and your specific problems/challenges, and you shouldn’t overlook them. Additionally, learning from different people with different perspectives will help you be more flexible and have a better chance of achieving the things you want in life. Find someone who shares their knowledge with you and who makes you reflect, and when you notice that that person starts repeating ideas, it's time to move on and look for new people who can help you out of your stagnation. Remember, every piece is important along the way, and it's important to be grateful to every person you meet because everyone has a valuable lesson to teach you (especially when that person has a different perspective than yours).
I'll probably spend many more years learning from Lucio until I finish integrating the knowledge he offers (although as he will most likely keep adding more content and learning things on his own, I will surely visit his blog or YouTube channel from time to time like visiting an old and dear friend and teacher whom I admire and respect).
I would like to make a final mention to John from customer service. He is a charming person and attended to me very well every time I contacted customer service. It feels like talking to a good friend; the service is fast, he is respectful, he has manners, and from start to finish he was very attentive in keeping his word every time he told me he would respond within a certain time frame. You can't really get to know a person in customer service, but from all the times I talked to him, he seemed competent, warm, and generous. John deserves a raise; he’s a really great guy :)

submitted by Astor_Yuri to CoursesReviews [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 10:35 KairiAoyama Looking for assistants for my manga!

Hello again!
My "pen" name is Kairi Aoyama.
I'm looking for assistants to finally be able to draw the manga for a story I've been planning for a while.
First, let me tell you about the story and then the details of what I'm looking for.
The story follows Lily Valse, a young woman trying to achieve her dream of becoming a professional singer and leader of her own band. After being deceived by her previous group, Lily meets Mia Akabane, a musician trying to become a writer, and both will try to achieve their dreams together as they discuss topics like finding your place in the adult world, dreams, failure, and the daily fight to try to achieve your goals.
The story has a relaxed and joyful tone, yet it can get romantic and dramatic at some points. If you're still interested, please keep reading.
I'm looking for assistants. I can't offer any payments because I'm not in a good financial situation. Yet, as an artist myself I don't take work for granted. I'll be doing most of the work. I just need a couple of people to help me with whatever. A page, a panel, or even the script would be really helpful. Once again, I'll be doing most of it, and any revenue we make (which is the goal) will be divided proportionally.
The only requirements are the following:
  1. Have some free time. Again, this is not a job and I'm not paying for your time properly (yet). But I'd require to at least have some free time. I know school or work can get heavy, but I'm looking forward to someone who has some time available. Not a lot, but like I said, if I ask you for help in a panel and you're going on a two-week vacation to Europe, then things won't work out. Just a certain amount of time a day would be fine. An hour or two would be a good place to start
  2. Have Clip Studio Paint (or Photoshop). That's the tool we work with and I think it is very helpful. Other software can work well but sharing files might get tricky. If you have any experience using other programs with CSP or Photoshop files without problems, please let me know.
  3. You don't need to know how to draw. If you can draw lines in different intensities naturally, then you will be my savior.
  4. Be over 18+ The story won't have any NSFW content but I'd still prefer that you'd be over the age of 18 so we don't have problems with maybe discussing mature topics, anatomy or even being way too young to be on the internet and hence, putting our project in a delicate situation.
  5. Speak English fluently. I also speak Spanish but I bet most people here talk in English so, it'd be preferable that we all could communicate.
  6. In case it wasn't clear, the two main leads are girls and will fall in love. The story doesn't explore in-depth themes of sexual preferences as they are established as something normal. If you have any problems with said topic, I think this isn't the story for you.
If any of you are interested, I'd be thankful. I've been preparing myself to write this story for nearly two years but I know I can't do it alone. It will be a mountain to climb but I will do it cause this is what I dreamed for so long.
We are already two people in this project. You can check the prologue here https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/118120029#1 (i'll be changing the cover soon)
You can DM me here. On my discord: kairiaoyama_ or even my email: [kairiaoyama@gmail.com](mailto:kairiaoyama@gmail.com)
submitted by KairiAoyama to MangakaStudio [link] [comments]


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𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔:
𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌'𝐒 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐄:
𝐌𝐘 𝐄𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐄:
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𝐓𝐎𝐏 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐈'𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐓 𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐌, 𝐇𝐖, 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐔𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐎𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐓:
𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒:
𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐘 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 & 𝐏𝐀𝐘𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍:
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒:
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submitted by MDDoctorTutors to CollegeTutors [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:52 recatila The next step

Hi everyone,
two years ago I quit my career in the financial sector to start cultivating my passion for video editing and decided to dedicate these two years for sharpening my skills and finding my style as a freelance video editor.
I was very lucky during the process because one commercial director trusted me and added me into his group of people he likes to work with and because of this I have been already doing some high budget commercials notwithstanding my short experience (if you want to have a look). I have also had experiences with small american productions and worked as an in house editor for a short period in Qatar.
During these two years, fascinated more and more about the job, I have been considering to pitch for direction roles in the commercial sector (but I didn't try to approach any producer or agency yet). In order to get some reliability as a director, I tried to craft some zero budget projects commercial and music video while keeping on studying others people's job and improving my editing and directing skills.
Even though there are low moments, I really feel driven by the creative process and I deeply think that this is the right path for me so I am here to ask you which should my next step be at this moment of my life. I am completely free of any kind of binding and I am willing to move to a city where the business thrives more than Bologna or Helsinki (the two cities where I am living right now). I am also considering to move to the US if the opportunity arises. I fluently speak english, italian, spanish and french, I am 27 years old and overall a fun and empathetic person.
What would you do at this point of my life? Do you have any advice/suggestion? I feel a bit lost.
Thanks
submitted by recatila to Filmmakers [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:06 Cartman1994 29 [M4F] #Spain - Looking for a co-pilot to travel through space together.

I come from the future, where we have managed to make a distortion engine work stably, allowing us to travel through space at speeds faster than light.
I am a simple merchant who travels the Milky Way buying and reselling goods, it is a good job but it is somewhat repetitive and I think I could use a co-pilot to help me during the trip.
Some information about me:
Requirements to board my ship:
Be an autistic woman (it is not essential that you be autistic, but I really prefer it, or at least neurodivergent, I need someone with empathy on these issues)
I await your request to come on board!
submitted by Cartman1994 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 08:57 Hela_A ISO Online Japanese - English dictionary for students

I’m an ALT at the junior high school and occasionally elementary level.
Lately I’ve become really tired of my students using Google translate for words in English class and am looking for an alternative, ideally an online dictionary aimed at Japanese students learning English with as many of the following features as possible:
Problems with Google Translate have caused lots of issues in my students’ writings.
These are some of the issues I’ve faced:
Google Translate always has unnecessary capitalisation when they type in a word on its own, because it treats the word like the start of a new sentence and automatically capitalises it. The problem is the students don’t question the all-knowing Google-sensei and just copy what it comes out with as is into their work.
Result: ‘I like Fried Chicken.’
It also doesn’t tell them the word class (noun, adjective, verb, etc) so they end up using it incorrectly in their sentences.
Result: ‘I like her brave.’ (Should be the noun ‘bravery’, not the adjective ‘brave’)
It also causes issues when they input a word that covers many meanings in one language but has separate dedicated words in the other language.
E.g. ‘足’ (ashi) means both ‘foot’ or ‘leg’ in Japanese so when they put 足 into Google Translate, Google will just choose ‘foot’ or ‘leg’ randomly.
This also happens with words in English that have multiple meanings for the same word depending on the context.
E.g. ‘trip’ can mean 旅行 (‘trip’ as in going somewhere for a holiday/vacation) or 躓く(‘trip’ as in trip over something and fall over).
This is why I’d like them to use something that has example sentences so it shows them many options and then they can figure out which one to choose.
When I studied languages back home at secondary school and university, our teachers didn’t allow us to use Google Translate. Instead, they pointed us towards better online dictionaries with the features I listed above. Some examples were SpanishDict for Spanish and Jisho.org for Japanese (I love Jisho.org but the UI is very much designed for English-speaking learners of Japanese rather than Japanese-speaking learners of English). I still use these two sites and would love to show my students a website that they can continue to use well into the future.
I hope someone can help me out. Thanks in advance :)
submitted by Hela_A to JETProgramme [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 06:50 Huge_Belt_4350 I wrote a letter to my mom addressing all the hurts of my childhood expecting a response that never came

I (27F) last last winter (2022) wrote a long letter to my mom. I poured my heart into it, I cried the whole time writing it. I showed it to my husband to make sure I wasn’t being too mean in my writing towards my mom. I showed it to my stepsister to again make sure it was okay and made sense and to get emotional support (I’m Mexican and I didn’t want to push too far because i understand how deep generational trauma is and the parent child dynamic) I even showed it to my stepdad who immediately called me apologizing for the things I wrote in the letter (which I will get into in a moment) and was telling me about how he will divorce her (I didn’t want that and made me feel shitty) and explained why some scenarios ended up the way they did. Everyone encouraged me to send it. I was so confident that my mom was going to read it and drive over ? Write back? Call me. Something ! So I mailed it. (I mailed it because I instantly cry every time I try talking to her in person about not surface level things, it would of been easier getting words out especially when having to translate to Spanish)
In the letter I wrote about:
-Feeling emotionally neglected -the name calling my mom would do (calling me “retarded” and mimicking noises and movements of people with disability towards me among other things -My uncle being a pedo and scaring me into not saying anything to them, i later said something to a friend in HS who went to the counselor who called the police and I made up a person to protect my uncle, I was then grounded for over a year. -the carpet in my bedroom always being wet when it rained which is a lot where I live ruining my feet with a fungal infection that was just ignored (i understand it was a money issue but the hurt remains) -being blamed for high utility bills n being expensive for needing braces -being called lazy for not cleaning even though I would clean the kitchen and be the only kid to pick up the leaves outside in the fall and things, sometimes when I would clean the kitchen she would do it again, when asking her to teach me how to do it better she would ignore me and pretend I wasn’t there. -asking her any question and being ignored -my boyfriend in high school being suicidal when I would try to break up with him and hurting that I couldn’t go to them for help -saying that I tried to hit her to my step dad when I moved out of the way of her too quickly and making a scene about it leaving me confused -understanding that i understand she probably had a rough childhood and that all I wanted was a normal mother daughter relationship
That’s pretty much the gist among a bunch of other little things that really hurt me and I explained that it was hard to form a relationship with her in my adulthood and trust her with my kids until we addressed these things. I wanted to be acknowledged. Not even an apology really. But a conversation. I wanted to understand her more because I literally don’t know anything about her. We would never talk unless it was to eat dinner or clean something. I was always in my room during that time.
I waited a few weeks, my stepsister would visit them here and there and tell me how my mom appears sad? And maybe she needed more time.
A few months pass by I see my mom smiling in Hawaii having a good time.
At this point I’m in therapy because I’m losing hair from the stress of this and severely depressed.
Fall comes around and I finally go to visit with the encouragement of my husband, stepsister and stepdad. She acts like I’m not even there. This makes me angry. At one point my mom goes outside to smoke a cigarette im at the table with everyone and I start just talking about the hurts again, I say my mom is a narcissistic. My mom comes back inside. And for an hour. I’m complaining and she’s in the living room a few feet away saying absolutely nothing.
I leave feeling so weird. So lonely? We are now I’m 2024. I don’t have a relationship with her or my step dad really. I had to block her because she would go to Hawaii again and just living her life having a great time I was trying not to be bitter. Or angry. My step sister and step dad eventually started to question how legitimate my statements were it was so painful being misunderstood. Being told that that’s just the mom that I have. Being told that things were maybe my fault for having a problem with everything (I would always speak up when my parents would be racist and things)
I few months ago I did send her a text as a final effort. I asked why she never responded. If she wants to just leave this alone that’s okay and I will move on. And she told me that all that was on the letter were complaints. And told me about how when I was 20 I made a comment on a Facebook post about bad parenting and how everyone saw. About how embarrassed she was when people reached out to her. About how I wrote that I felt like I was in a dark environment. I didn’t know everyone saw it. I apologized for that. She told me to come over to talk because she personally has some complains about me. But she never acknowledged me. I didn’t want to go, to feel yelled at and again taken back to being a child getting yelled at.
I’m currently feeling grief. Mistrust to my family. Lonely. Jealous? About how my other siblings seem to be having a better time. How do I move on from feeling misunderstood. I feel like everyone is okay and I’m abandoned. I feel guilt for pulling my small family away from them from how hurt I am. Most times I’m okay until I see my stepsister at a family gathering that I’m never invited to. And then I’m back again to being a lonely child.
submitted by Huge_Belt_4350 to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 06:34 Huge_Belt_4350 I wrote a letter to my mom addressing all the hurts of my childhood expecting a response that never came

I (27F) last last winter (2022) wrote a long letter to my mom. I poured my heart into it, I cried the whole time writing it. I showed it to my husband to make sure I wasn’t being too mean in my writing towards my mom. I showed it to my stepsister to again make sure it was okay and made sense and to get emotional support (I’m Mexican and I didn’t want to push too far because i understand how deep generational trauma is and the parent child dynamic) I even showed it to my stepdad who immediately called me apologizing for the things I wrote in the letter (which I will get into in a moment) and was telling me about how he will divorce her (I didn’t want that and made me feel shitty) and explained why some scenarios ended up the way they did. Everyone encouraged me to send it. I was so confident that my mom was going to read it and drive over ? Write back? Call me. Something ! So I mailed it. (I mailed it because I instantly cry every time I try talking to her in person about not surface level things, it would of been easier getting words out especially when having to translate to Spanish)
In the letter I wrote about:
-Feeling emotionally neglected -the name calling my mom would do (calling me “retarded” and mimicking noises and movements of people with disability towards me among other things -My uncle being a pedo and scaring me into not saying anything to them, i later said something to a friend in HS who went to the counselor who called the police and I made up a person to protect my uncle, I was then grounded for over a year. -the carpet in my bedroom always being wet when it rained which is a lot where I live ruining my feet with a fungal infection that was just ignored (i understand it was a money issue but the hurt remains) -being yelled at for not cleaning everyday (I was the only child who would clean the kitchen and pick up leaves in the fall and stuff), sometimes she would clean again after I would do it. when asking to teach me how to do it better I would be ignored -asking her a question and being ignored -being blamed for high utility bills n being expensive for needing braces -my boyfriend in high school being suicidal when I would try to break up with him and hurting that I couldn’t go to them for help -saying that I tried to hit her to my step dad when I moved out of the way of her too quickly and making a scene about it leaving me confused -understanding that i understand she probably had a rough childhood and that all I wanted was a normal mother daughter relationship
That’s pretty much the gist among a bunch of other little things that really hurt me and I explained that it was hard to form a relationship with her in my adulthood and trust her with my kids until we addressed these things. I wanted to be acknowledged. Not even an apology really. But a conversation. I wanted to understand her more because I literally don’t know anything about her. We would never talk unless it was to eat dinner or clean something. I was always in my room during that time.
I waited a few weeks, my stepsister would visit them here and there and tell me how my mom appears sad? And maybe she needed more time.
A few months pass by I see my mom smiling in Hawaii having a good time.
At this point I’m in therapy because I’m losing hair from the stress of this and severely depressed.
Fall comes around and I finally go to visit with the encouragement of my husband, stepsister and stepdad. She acts like I’m not even there. This makes me angry. At one point my mom goes outside to smoke a cigarette im at the table with everyone and I start just talking about the hurts again, I say my mom is a narcissistic. My mom comes back inside. And for an hour. I’m complaining and she’s in the living room a few feet away saying absolutely nothing.
I leave feeling so weird. So lonely? We are now I’m 2024. I don’t have a relationship with her or my step dad really. I had to block her because she would go to Hawaii again and just living her life having a great time I was trying not to be bitter. Or angry. My step sister and step dad eventually started to question how legitimate my statements were (a lot of the meanness was when it was just my mom and I) it was so painful being misunderstood. Being told that that’s just the mom that I have. Being told that things were maybe my fault for having a problem with everything (I would always speak up when my parents would be racist and things)
I few months ago I did send her a text as a final effort. I asked why she never responded. If she wants to just leave this alone that’s okay and I will move on. And she told me that all that was on the letter were complaints. And told me about how when I was 20 I made a comment on a Facebook post about bad parenting and how everyone saw. About how embarrassed she was when people reached out to her. About how I wrote that I felt like I was in a dark environment. I didn’t know everyone saw it. I apologized for that. She told me to come over to talk because she personally has some complains about me. But she never acknowledged me. I didn’t want to go, to feel yelled at and again taken back to being a child getting yelled at.
I’m currently feeling grief. Mistrust to my family. Lonely. Jealous? About how my other siblings seem to be having a better time. How do I move on from feeling misunderstood. I feel like everyone is okay and I’m abandoned. I feel guilt for pulling my small family away from them from how hurt I am. Most times I’m okay until I see my stepsister at a family gathering that I’m never invited to. And then I’m back again to being a lonely child.
submitted by Huge_Belt_4350 to emotionalneglect [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 06:21 jmpalacios79 Recent LPR looking to apply to Global Entry, with dual foreign citizenships

Hi everyone! I just recently obtained my green card, and I'm already looking toward next steps, such as applying for Global Entry.
The only issue I have is that I have dual foreign citizenship, Venezuela and Spain, and the very first page of the Global Entry application asks me what foreign citizenship I'd like to use for expedited reentry. I obtained my green card as a Venezuelan national, but I understand that, after obtaining my LPR status, it's no longer tied to any foreign nationality, to the point that, Global Entry aside, I could reenter the U.S. solely with my green card, without even needing to present any passport to CBP.
So, according to that, I could choose either of my two nationalities for Global Entry, and for a number of reasons I'd be inclined to choose the Spanish one, even though I've never actually lived in Spain. But I first wanted to ask this audience if my presumptions are correct, and for opinions/recommendations/etc.
Thank you all!
submitted by jmpalacios79 to greencard [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 05:23 Avid_Learner_96 Could I get some help with a project?

Hi everyone of northernireland ! Im a new user of reddit so I am not so familiar with it but I was hoping to find someone willing to help me with a school project on here. Ok so for some background, Im a student of trilinguism and cultures and we have classes of English, Spanish and Mandarin where we also get into the different cultures that exist within the same language (English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes in writing). Recently, in English, we were given the project to write a TV show inspired scene based on a variety of English and make it sound the most authentic possible. I chose (Northern) Ireland English and the popular TV show 'Derry Girls' and I tried to sprinkle in elements of culture, but obviously, since I am not from Northern Ireland, I did a pretty mediocre job. I now have to get feedback in order to better myself and I was hoping to find someone who would be ready to help me. Down below will be a tiny part of my text, dont be scared to be harsh! (By the way, the weird writing is on purpose, its supposed to represent irish pronounciation based on canadian English standards, I know its silly. You can comment on it too, on names, on expressions, words, actions, relations, etc.)
On the night of the 24th of December, after a big family party in the McCool’s house, Mary, Erin and Saoirse are the only people left in the house. Outside, we can hear everyone else greeting neighbors and walking toward the church together to attend the midnight service. The girls are hurrying up cleaning the kitchen before joining everyone. The uncomfortable silence in the room is suddenly broken when the front door opens.
MARY: Da? (surprised)
JOE: Bout ye girls?
MARY: What are you doin’ inside?
JOE: I forgot my swemsuit.
MARY: Your swemsuit? For what?
JOE: To go swemmin’ after the service, aye. Its tradition. Every 25th of December in the morning we go take a lettle dip in the sea. You used to do it often when you were a wain.
MARY: Daddy, catch yourself on! You’re no goin’ swemmin’, its baltic outside!
Mary pushes the leftover of the turkey, potatoes and vegetables from an unfinished plate.
JOE: Don’t worre Mary, its just for a wee menute. You should come too. (Pointing at the three girls)
Mary makes an appalled face, her hand on her chest. Erin notices her mom not agreeing and wants to contradict her.
ERIN: I’ll go with you gran-da! (excitedly)
MARY: Houl yer whist. No, you won’t! You’ll get seck.
SAOIRSE: I agree, I went for a wee dander earlier and I was foundered! Its not a time to stay outside so it is.
ERIN: Of course, she’s on my mam’s side… (under her breath)
What do you guys think?
submitted by Avid_Learner_96 to northernireland [link] [comments]


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