True tuscan style house plans

Hello everyone! I have decided to leave my thoughts here, so whatever happens, happens, I just feel like I should do it somewhere. Oh my, I typed a lot, I'm not even confident enough that this will be read, but hey I've got nothing to lose. So, I'm a guy who just recently hit 20 and the ways I think and feel are changing and I am having difficulties because of that. This will be related to my feelings, thoughts and my wishes, the last part is something I'm not used to having. The main problem will be my father who is not supporting that. However I wouldn't say it's just some "disagreement" or anything, but something bigger. So I will leave some stuff I've been through and how I felt at those times. I hope someone can help or anything
Before school: I would be super talkative with the family and neighborhood kids, just being annoying and putting out some childlike opinions and just being a little loud burden when I'm comfortable. When I'm not, I'd just be the quiet kid I've been taught to be, not nice bothering grownups, they're scary
Elementary school: As a kid I never had too many friends, I always attached to that one person and was connected with them the most and it was enough for me. However I happened to have some silly luck where whenever I'd get attached to someone they would magically appear to move out of the country and I'd find a new friend and repeat the same cycle. Definitely didn't hang out with multiple people at once. Wasn't aware this was doing something to me. A lot of them were friends that played a lot of video games and I got into playing video games too. A bit too much perhaps because it would happen to delay everything, including my knowledge of everything till this very day. Both in elementary and high school I was a straight A, "gifted kid" and all that nerd stuff. Of course I did it all because I feared the reaction of my parents if I wasn't doing as good as I was supposed to. My mom was more understanding than my dad. I could always ask her things like "Would you still love me if I wasn't getting As?" and she would comfort me and all the good stuff. I was always afraid of my dad so I never had deeper talks with him. Even today, I have deep talks with my mom and love spending time with her but I can end up being all day alone with my dad and we share 20 words. But now not that much because of fear but because of habit I guess. My whole life goal at this stage was just not making him angry. I didn't have any hobbies, just burning through games and school books. When it was time to go to highschool, I picked some random school not directed into anything, (uhh I don't know the words, gymnasium? the school that has a little bit of everything, nothing specific, English is not my native language) it was kinda directed to coding but not really, I picked it because, hey I like games, this should be fun, I could make games.
Highschool: My habits have hit me, and I realized I'm not really engaging in healthy human activities so I have been so afraid of not being able to make friends. Because I usually spent my social time with one friend in my house or their house I didn't really know anything about my town or places or activities or whatever at the age of 15. I was scared of simply being too far behind on everything and that I couldn't make friends. However I happened to find some kid who was just like me and I clicked with him. Oh my, repeating the cycle, am I not? However I didn't want to repeat the cycle. And I wanted to go meet more friends from the class and see what's up, I'm tired of feeling like an outcast. I've been lucky and I've met some great guys where I've seen what it means to have self-respect, self-love, a backbone, goals, how you can rebel against things you find ridiculous and all the most insane of them all, ~confidence~. Thanks to being in that group of 5 friends, I've been taught so many things I should have known ages ago and I was able to feel okay around people, start going to the gym, going out in town, advancing even as far as going to different towns and trying out things I didn't feel comfortable thinking about before. Was able to talk to girls on a deeper level and had an embarrassingly late realization of "hey, they're human too!". Things I did were nothing too crazy ever, I still had my dad's ideals hanging over my head, so I never felt comfortable engaging in some things like drinking or going to parties out late (well, he wouldn't allow me to leave the house late anyways). Eventually I figured out I can just lie to him to make things less complicated by twisting the story a little bit, that's how I ended up going to another town. The first time I confronted him about something bigger, is when I wanted to go to another country on my own so I could meet up with my girlfriend at that time and I was tired of him not allowing me stuff and I just dropped my first ever assertive-ish sentence to him. "I want to ask you something but I don't want your answer to be no". He allowed me to, was taken aback though. That trip was one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had in my life. I think he allowed me to only because it was a girl in question, and I wasn't really having girl friends in highschool, was scared because of all the generalization I've heard from my father and the relationship between my parents, and I truly wasn't excited about the whole idea of marriage. My dad is very traditional and he loves being in control of my life because he believes that a man should fully provide for his family, that he should simply deal with this deal with that, that a wife must obey him, that parents are most important no matter how they act yadda yadda. A lot of old thinking I never agreed with but couldn't do much about it anyways so let's just live I guess. However one thing I did continue in highschool is my addiction to video games. But then I stopped because I felt guilty for not studying and felt guilty for not learning about music or town areas all my friends know. So I started listen to music properly and I got hooked to it. This has grown into a bigger problem now and I'll go in the final stage of my life because I feel like this is so much text.
University: (if I say uni/college, I'm talking about the same thing, I don't know if there's a difference between the two words) Oh well, you remember how I said that the addiction is gonna make a problem? Well, I started studying engineering. Thanks to my high grades and me doing the entrance exam relatively well, I got into the "toughest college in the country". Now, the fun part is that now that I have to detach from listening to music for multiple hours a day and absolutely doing stupid dances and releasing my energy outside because I don't know what to do with it, I realized I never thought about what I loved... And, well let's just say I don't really know if engineering, nor coding was the way to go. Crisis time. However I don't like anything, what do I do I'm gonna lose my mind. Well, let's just try having friends? I met some of the most beautiful souls ever on this university and I have reached the point of being able to "be myself" and show the world my weirdness and all the goofy opinions and statements my mind creates. I go to that college sometimes just to see all those beautiful people again and again. They're serious about what they're doing and about their studies, I wish them the best, I really hope I don't negatively affect them. However, I tried to research a bit on what I might actually truly love. And after stumbling through life this last year while pretending everything's okay when dad asked, and telling the truth to my mom, I stumbled onto psychology. And well I have went to that college, to see the lessons and classes and wow, studying can be fun? So I'm thinking about finally taking a wrong turn on this path I was always meant to take from the beginning of my life, and follow this, just to see what's gonna happen. What's the purpose of pushing software engineering when I know I'll feel about it like any other job. I'm not money hungry anyways, I'm hungry for being fulfilled. I've confronted my dad about wanting to change my career, to which I've been called many names, been extremely judged for my choices and I've been told to cut off my hair and stop going to the gym as punishment (I'm not planning on listening to this). I've never been physically abused by my dad, but I'm scared if he's insane enough to do something to me now because he set me a timer of 7 days to cut off my hair. Oh yes btw, I always wanted to have long hair and he never agreed, I was too scared to ever do it. Recently I've changed my mind and he hates it so now he wants it gone. I'm genuinely concerned if he's gonna launch on me with scissors or something ridiculous. You see, even now I am so easily manipulated and controlled by fear and I'm sick and tired of that. That's probably the reason I never got out of religion, my fear is just too strong for me to do it. I dislike that, I wish I could transfer fear into love, I have never learned how to do that though. Will I always be like this? Will I always be a coward and just say "yessir" to everything? I don't want to anymore. I'm tired of being a puppet. I'm tired of having to prove I'm smart or capable or hardworking. I just want to have something with which I can say "I did this on my own, I committed to this, I wanted this" not "well it was good for me". I want to start following my heart and throw my brain out of the window. And now I'm scared of things like "what if I was wrong all along and he was right", "what if I don't find any jobs in this country because of this", "what if he throws me out of the house or starts abusing me". Well I don't know, but I feel like I want to commit to psychology, and I'm gonna do it, I'll be on my own, no ideals from other people, just me, and my wishes. But these words and all the things affect me a lot and they always have. And I get demotivated and stop caring about everything, which just makes my addiction to blasting music on my headphones and badly dancing even stronger. I'm scared of it happening again. But I've never been this sick of it all, I feel like I won't go down without a fight anymore. So I ask in the text once more, can I truly be broken beyond repair, or can I break all the chains tying me down? Because I want to know if I should just abandon all hope and embrace the tradition and insanity along with it, or just run and not look back.
If you have read all of this, I am very grateful to you, hopefully I have been collected enough to construct sentences that make sense, or that it all makes sense overall. Anything is appreciated. I love you all and wish you the best <3

So after 5 years of crypto investing I've finally exited all my positions.
I got in early when my mate introduced me when the price was sub 10k and we'd often chat about the price breaking 10k and would have a lot of banter and meme based chat about it.
This led to me investing for years into the industry and to be honest I brainwashed myself into thinking that this tech had genuine utility - for a while it looked like this might be the case and I genuinely thought that at one point I might be able to buy a house/ car with my bitcoin.
However, as we have all realised there is absolute 0 utility for this technology. Truly useful technology doesn't need to hunt for a problem to solve - it just solves a problem, and frankly by this point if crypto isn't being used it proves (after decades) its just a Ponzi (as people in this sub have realised).
I felt compelled to make a post as I actually feel bad for the people I sold to - the greater fool theory rings true as perhaps at the other end of my transaction there will be someone with hopes and dreams of turning that bitcoin into a house or car, which of course it won't.
I decided at the current price after the bull run, the difference in my life would be minimal even if it reached 100k, 200k and even at 1 mill it be a soulless lottery win (pure greed and speculation). I hope someone else in a similar situation might see this and understand that cold hard profits landing in your account taste a lot better than the fake dream money that crypto promises.
I feel lucky to be on the right side of this, but damn there will be tonne of people on the wrong side when it all comes crashing down (I predict a Tether capitulation to be the catalyst) which I truly feel for.
Stay safe!

The murders of Russell and Shirley Dermond in Lake Oconee GA in 2014 is one of the most well known cases in the true crime online community. I'll provide a summary for anyone unfamiliar with the case, and here are 2 links for those who want to know more about the case
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killings_of_Russell_and_Shirley_Dermond
https://www.fox5atlanta.com/news/lake-oconee-mystery-fbis-quest-for-justice-intensifies-in-dermond-murders
In the first week of May of 2014, Russell and Shirley Dermond, a couple who was approaching 90 was supposed to attend a kentucky derby party in their upscale neighborhood on lake oconee in central GA. The couple never made it to the party, and after a few days went by, their friends became concerned when they did not hear from the Dermond's, so some neighbors went over to check on them
That is when the neighbor found a horrifying scene, Russell Dermond dead and decapitated in his garage, Shirley Russell nowhere to be found. The neighbor then called 911
The house was immaculate, it was an extremely clean crime scene and there was no evidence they were even killed at the house
10 days later, 2 fisherman found Shirley's body 6 miles away from the home, she was dumped into the lake. She had been beaten to death and had 2 cinderblocks strapped to her legs and tossed overboard. her body was disposed of via boat
I consider myself fairly well read about this case and I feel the entirety of the crime raises alot of interesting questions. id love to hear peoples thoughts on these questions/motives and the type of people and their motive who would do this. County Sheriff Howard Sills has been very media friendly about this case and has shared a decent amount of details/insight. Below are a few questions i have about the case, feel free to comment your thoughts, etc.
-the crime scene was extremely clean, russell was decapitated in the garage but otherwise the house was immaculate. why decapitate russell? if it was to hide the ballisitcs evidence would it not have been easier to use a different weapon?
-I feel they likely came to the house with the plan to decapitate them as they had to have a very sharp knife(sheriff said a super clean cut) and a container to take the head away in. what would be the motive for this?
-sheriff has stated he thinks there was at least 2 people, possibly more involved
-Russell was not killed in the garage where he was found. he was likely shot due to gun shot residue being found on his shirt. there's no blood spatter in garage, why kill him elsewhere and then bring him to the garage? where was he killed?
-Shirley was killed in a different manner and much more brutally, why use 2 different methods for killing them? why bother removing her body and his head and hiding them, meanwhile RD body was just left on the floor of the house?
-Shirley was not killed at the house and her body was dumped via boat
-this is a significant part of the crime imo, because removing Shirley from the property(in a boat especially) increases the risk of being caught 50x. i feel like there had to be a noteworthy reason to do this but cannot think of one
i think these killers are local, they had to have a boat and a truck/trailer to transport that boat. imo these guys had to be VERY comfortable on that lake, in order to kidnap an old lady, bring her onboard the boat, likely kill her onboard, and then tie cinderblocks to her and dump her body overboard. this is ALOT of work/effort and is very risky to do, which doesn't gel with leaving his body at the house
i think most likely it had to be some form of extortion, where they arrived by boat(even though sherriff says he doesn't think they arrived by boat) and then kidnapped SD in order to get $ out of Russell. Russell then either refused and/or fought back and was killed or things went wrong and the killers plan was ruined. so they just had to kill the dermond's and leave
ill probably make some edits after i proof read a bit. let me know if 'im missing anything and id love to hear your guys thoughts!!

I (23 F) have been diagnosed with Bipolar, ADHD, and social anxiety for a few years now, starting Sophomore year of college. I never really agreed with the Bipolar diagnosis. I didn't feel like what I had was mania, though I did relate to a cyclical type of depression and periods of higher mood and motivation, not as much with the super fast talking or no sleep. I do get really bad irritability (just in general, but it gets really unmanageable when I'm depressed). I'm also very prone to isolation, impulsivity, rumination, and have avoidant tendencies in relationships/in general. Since the start of the year, I've had about 3 social outings that lasted a few hours each. I only go into the office 4 times a month, and I order my groceries, so I really never leave my house.
For context, I was always very motivating in school and went to a really good university for an engineering degree. I recently graduated and I'm now a Software Engineer. As soon as I started college, the ADHD symptoms and other mental health struggles started taking a toll on my grades, which was really debilitating. At 19, I got on Adderall for ADHD, and was smoking weed heavily, and for a period I was definitely abusing my adderall, which I now greatly regret. During the height of this, I had a really bad case of persecutory delusions that were scary as hell. Typical "CIA is after me" stuff. I got off adderall for about a year, and it was so hard to feel motivated to do anything, and studying was very difficult. I was still having some paranoid/suspicious thinking, but I was smoking weed a lot less and not taking any stimulants, and it didn't reach a full-blown delusional state. For example, if I couldn't find an article of clothing or item in my room, I would quickly jump to "someone must have stolen it", until I would find it. I would also think a lot about the persecutory delusions from before, and wonder about them, but wouldn't really go back to believing them. I graduated last May, and a few months later, I got back on Adderall. It helped my executive dysfunction so much. For example, cleaning is a severe problem for me. I cannot clean, and my apartment frequently gets ant or fly infestations if I don't pay someone to clean for me. The adderall helps with stuff like this, especially if I'm not depressed. When I am severely depressed, it helps with concentration but I don't care enough to do the things I should be focusing on, if that makes sense -- basically the motivation is not there but the concentration is.
I finally started with a new psychiatrist, and today we had our second visit. I explained my whole history, and my main concern being that I'm currently extremely depressed, and I have little bits of these paranoid thoughts, which I know get worse with adderall, but I don't want to stop adderall since it can be so helpful for me. I also told him that I'm scared to go on an antipsychotic because they can cause cognitive issues and in my career, I cant afford that. He concluded that what I have sounds more like a thought disorder than mania, along with a mood disorder -- He said it possibly could be schizoaffective disorder. He said since the Adderall helps a lot, we could switch to Ritalin which has a lower chance of psychosis, and add on Vraylar. He said Vraylar is good for my concern with a lack of motivation, and fear of cognitive decline with other antipsychotics.
I'm scared of this whole thought disorder thing. I looked it up, and it's pretty spot on with my delusional thinking. My whole life, my "intelligence" is the only thing I feel like I've been good at, and the thing that's basically gotten me through life. And now I have this thing that is basically characterized by "illogical thinking". And it's true. In those heightened delusional states, I can feel my mind connecting dots that have no business being connected. And it's getting worse. And adderall, the thing that feels helpful, may have exacerbated this. At least from my understanding, its affects on dopamine are similar to the root cause of Schizophrenia and disorganized thinking, etc. And it is supposed to get worse over time. I'm only 23, I'm only just starting my Software Engineering career, and the thoughts that "I'm getting dumber" since I was 19 are proving to be true. Schizophrenics see a significant drop in IQ over time. I'm honestly terrified. I feel unable to function without Adderall, but I'm also scared that I'll just become more psychotic if I keep taking it. To make matters worse, after 2 sessions with this psychiatrist who was going to prescribe the Vraylar, he tells me he, in fact, does not take my insurance (he'd told me this whole time he did, but he was "mistaken"). It took me so long to find a psychiatrist and now I might have to pay hundreds of dollars worth of two sessions out of pocket. I'm so scared, what do I do... I've been considering going back and getting my masters in Computer Science because I want to work in AI, and you usually need higher education for that. But I would feel incapable doing it without Adderall, and now I feel like either way, this "thought disorder" thing will worsen and I won't be able to do any job that requires logical thinking because my brain just broken. I feel like I broke my brain. And I'm only 23. I've always been an intellectually curious person, I feel so hopeless right now like what is the point of living this way.

Platform(s): PC?
Genre: Adventure? Puzzle? Point and click?
Estimated year of release: 2000's or 2010's
Graphics/art style: Pixelated, 2d
Notable characters: Shop owners, Old lady?, Woman?
Notable gameplay mechanics: 1st person, point and click, kinda like Dont Escape games
Other details:
Its a 1st person point and click like game where you click to go between rooms and collect items to give to characters and such, kind of like Don't escape games. I remember watching a youtuber play it a while ago but I could not find it anywhere on youtube. It has pixelated graphics from what I remember. I think there was a part in the game where you explore an abandoned house. The main part I remember is when you go into in underground city/market scene and you can interact with the different shop/stall owners. At the end of the market, there is a giant circle door that you have to open and get through. At the end of the game I remember there was a car that you have to get gas for at a gas station and there was an old lady with a crystal ball. There was also a woman sitting in the car I think. I believe at one point in the game you have to pick up eyeballs. Again this game seems really random I don't remember the plot for the game it was really random tho.

Am I the jerk for wanting to forget most of my family so my mom has never been there for me just yelling at me and my step dad is close to me (if your wondering my dad died when I was less then a month old) and by my step dad I got my favorite game and I'll just say this I am a gamer and I think because of that I have been forgotten by most of my family only my step dad and a few aunts and uncles remember me so I decided to get hired by a friend from his YouTube channel and my family honestly didn't really care saying that I wasn't gonna get paid soiler they were right and the most recent thing that happened was my family making me go back to staying with a true peace of shit who I will call Tom (Tom is not his real name) and the reason I hate him is because he knew my dad was dead and I am sensitive about my dad and he said (atleast I have a dad and not a step dad) and we'll I cut all contact with him until my family made me I am not old enough to get my own house and to be honest I really don't know how much more I can handle so please tell me am I the jerk?

Hello again everyone, I'm currently an international student about to graduate on August or September 2024. I wanted to ask if it was beneficial to open an RRSP or FHSA (not sure yet if I'll buy a house though) instead of it just sitting in my cash account. I will buy a car after school though, which will probably cost me <$8000 at most (2nd hand). Here's the current breakdown of my accounts:
TFSA: $13500 maxed (100% XEQT)
HISA: $45000 @4%
Current income: $300 biweekly
Expenses:
Rent = $500/mo
Groceries = <$300/mo
Transport = $80/mo
Phone = $80/mo
What do you guys think? I'm not too sure with the RRSP and FHSA rules yet so I apologize if I'm looking at them the wrong way, but they have almost the same function as a TFSA right? Tax free gains? I'm planning to dump them all into XEQT as well. Thank you in advance :)

I'm looking for a new speaker for summer for parties and excursions. I currently have a megaboom 3 which is a decent speaker but I have had it for years now and I'm looking to upgrade. I want a boombox style speaker and was looking at JBLs but the price point of the stormbox seems unbeatable. I listen to a lot of house, high bass hip hop, and rock. Would it be worth the upgrade from the megaboom? I want a louder and more bass heavy speaker.

I (20f) had to put my car in the shop again(second time since getting it in February; quick note is that my parents bought it for me and until I pay it off it’s under their name so I can’t sell it) and am currently having to borrow my dads car to go to work. Today he decided to impulsively buy a lawnmower. Unfortunately this damn thing is in a town thirty minutes from where I live, and they’re planning to leave the house to go get it at 9 tomorrow morning (I have to be gone for work by 10:30 because it’s a 25 min drive, do the math). I got mad and called them selfish assholes for not prioritizing making sure I had reliable transportation first. And no I can’t do Uber because they don’t go up to my house and I am one of the only employees at work who has a car. My dad says I’m being a bitch like always. Am I wrong???

I'm planning on upgrading the 265 GB M.2 NVME SSD in my Thinkpad T14 Gen 3 to a 1 or 2 TB SSD.
Is it true that after I have changed to the new SSD and installed Windows onto it, Windows should automatically reactivate itself because the OEM key is stored on the motherboard / BIOS?
To be sure that the transition goes smoothly, should I log into Windows using a Microsoft account instead of a local account?

I have a powerwall at home I made with twenty 40 cell 18650 LGMH1 36v 12.8Ah 460Wh eBike batteries in parallel. It powers the house with an inverter, 36v dc to 120AC 3000w.
I want to use some of the same 36v eBike batteries to keep my RV 12v system charged. I don't want to use just the 36v batteries because I will need to purchase an expensive DC - DC step down converter because the RV may draw 60amps+ from time to time.
My plan is to run the RV off of its current battery (12v 100Ah LiFePO4) and only use the 36v system to charge the 12v battery with a 2 amp buck converter that I already have.
My thought is that the 2 amp buck converter will trickle charge the 12v battery at whatever voltage I set the buck converter to (probably 12.8). Therefore the 12v battery can deliver the current needed for items on the trailer that require high amperage for short amount of time, the 36v battery will always keep the 12v full until the 36v batteries run down.
Yes, all batteries have a BMS and all wiring is correct gauge and fuses are installed. Does this all sound like it will work well? What changes should I make if any?

There’s this guy, we’ll call Jay, I knew for a good year, through local military and political channels online. He was angry and a bit grouchy, but I agreed with his takes on most things.
I moved to a different state for work, but had a lot of connections at the old place, so checked in on the pages and groups I was part of, here and there. April saw a friend request from Jay and I accepted.
In July, after a blow up online that I questioned, Jay confided that his wife had been cheating on him and he found out the night before his retirement ceremony that January. He’d been trying to get past it for the sake of the kids, and of course the finances and societal and family views. He’s from a pretty strict family that doesn’t condone divorce. A cousin of his divorced her husband and the family shuns her to this day. Jay was going on 30 years married and it pretty much upended everything.
When he started talking about little things that meant a lot to her that he would refuse, like taking couples pictures, posting together online, etc, I flat out told him that if he was committed to getting past it, he was going to have to try. I referred him to counseling services, for himself and as a couple.
In Aug, I went back to see my kids, and we saw eachother in person for the first time. Talked for a bit and went on our way. The next morning was the first red flag my blind eyes saw… a post from him on his page about the most exquisite sunset he’s ever seen. I have red hair. I blocked him on everything. May have been harsh, but I had enough drama in my own life already at that point, going through a divorce myself.
He used linked in and his son’s Xbox account to message me in what used to be Google hangout. He was supposedly devastated I’d do that after meeting him. If I was disappointed in what I met, I could’ve just said so. Etc. I explained my issue. He seemed genuinely embarrassed, apologized. He had me thinking I overreacted and it didn’t mean that much. He pleaded to just be friends.
A couple of weeks later, they took a family trip and he posted a picture of the two of them and of the entire family. He did his thing, I did mine. It was just as before again. No harm really done.
Fast forward a couple months and he was getting angry and blowing up online again. I asked him if he’d been to counseling and he said yes, but his marriage was over. He couldn’t do it. He could barely look at her, let alone touch her, for her betrayal. He had questions and she would shut him down. He showed me some of the graphic messages between her and the guy. They talked about him in them. It was bad. He started going on how the only thing he needed was for her to be a mom and she was slipping there too. She stopped cooking and taking care of their kid.
About a week after this, he butt dialed through Facebook… I could tell it was in his pocket or something. He was getting out of the car, then headed inside. All I heard from that point on was her screaming at him. He very calmly told his kids to head to the bedroom. Shortly after, something smashed loudly. It all went down in just a couple of minutes. I hung up. I never brought it up.
Not long after, he told me he loved me and he couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t stand the thought of finding me and letting me slip through his fingers. To which I replied… I wasn’t the solution to his problems. He needed to fix his shit before dragging anyone else into it. It wasn’t fair to me. He agreed. He claimed to start looking for apartments and going to see a lawyer. He’d “married for the wrong reasons and she married the wrong guy. He never romantically loved her and she viewed him as security.” I really did care about him, but I couldn’t do that. I won’t lie, the temptation was there.
After he told her they needed to get the finances together to fill out the paperwork and discuss the one kid’s situation with it all, she first threatened to hurt herself, then she decided to offer an open marriage. She “wanted the security of the lifestyle he provided and didn’t want to be judged by their friends and family, esp the kids.” He sent me the message. I responded again with I couldn’t do that. I was surprise, but not surprised he was considering it. He didn’t want the blow out either. On the surface, I’m guessing it looked like a great way to move forward. So he continued with the separating. We talked a lot.
Then he realized the other reason she had… she had a new guy she was emotionally cheating with already, making plans to meet up. The drama was past too much a while ago. But now, it got worse. He decided to encourage it. Yep. He wanted her to go off with the guy, so he could justify the divorce without it falling on him. A couple of weeks later, he went on a business trip and she went to see the guy. He came back and saw all of the proof, she admitted it, and she emptied their savings account into one he wasn’t on.
Time for me to exit. I had fallen for him. It was only a few weeks, but hook, line, and sinker.
Again, he found me and begged for me to just talk. He just needed someone to talk to. He wouldn’t do or say anything else about us. That didn’t last. Covid basically halted anything court related that wasn’t a criminal offense endangering lives. I bent and gave in.
By November, she wasn’t with the guy anymore. And she’d decided to actually look me up… she was livid. She was now upset that if he moved on with me, it would make her look even worse (her phrasing). She sent me a message to that affect and told me to leave him alone. I sent it to him and they had a blow up.
I was pretty broken up, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I told him to go on with his life or don’t, but I wasn’t going to sit by and watch the miserable insanity, let alone be part of it. She had threatened his relationship with the kids, that she would tell them he was the cause. That was a threat he wasn’t going to risk, I knew it.
I moved forward with my life. He tried to message here and there and it always ended up in a fight. He started getting mean, verbally abusive, then messages of love and he didn’t want to live without me. It was crazy making. I found out later, they’d gone on an island get away, supposedly to show everyone how great they were, working on their marriage… only he was messaging me how he cried when he was alone and how movies and music reminded him that he will be “empty” stuck with her until the youngest is out of the house in a few years.
I started seeing someone. And I was happy. Really happy. I was in the best shape of my life, going out with friends, having a great time. He would not stop messaging me. Every time he did, my life got sad again. He’d keep going until he got a reaction. And there was always a reaction. I hated myself for that. I felt absolutely crazy.
The end of July had him saying he couldn’t fake it, he missed me in his life, and he would do anything. I told him I was seeing someone. He lost it. He sent me a screenshot of her blowing up at him after seeing the phone statement with his texting and calling me…to prove he meant it and didn’t care of she was upset anymore.
A week later, I was hospitalized with Covid, initially in the ICU. It was bad. He started sending messages, texts, emails, and leaving voicemails, one after the other. Going from loving me more than anyone to me being a horrible narcissist who just needed him to make me feel good about myself. He was totally unhinged. I started blocking him everywhere, and he made up phone numbers and profiles to continue. He found out which hospital and sent presents to my room. I had to tell the nursing staff to stop any more.
The most abusive rant he sent accused me of faking being raped. This one he included her on… That was the last thread.
He almost immediately sent another barrage of messages about loving me and how empty he felt with her, that he had no feelings at all and couldn’t live like that. He needed me, loved me, and would do anything and everything to make it all up to me.
From my hospital bed, I started gathering everything. Now that I had her email and phone number, it was easy. I just sent her everything. Everything. Every message he tried to send thereafter, I forwarded to her. Every text, every message request, every picture, every song, every video… I sent them to her.
After I was finally released, I was still very ill. The recovery took months. I mailed back the “gifts” and continued to send her anything he sent me. And he just continued to do it. He would blow up at me for attacking and abusing her…lol. But continue to try to contact me.
The voicemail from him identifying himself, stating he was “addicted to me” and “can’t stop” was probably the scariest. Sent from a fake phone number to get around my block, begging me to block him on social media where he’d blocked, but keeps making up profiles to get around the blocks.
I started getting back outside after a few weeks. I have lung and heart damage, so it was slow going. One day, he literally just showed up where I was. I was actually scared to a point at that one. He’d been stalking me all over online, harassing me to no end, now this. He blocked me in. He said he just wanted to talk. I said I listen. He begged and pleaded to be with him. He was moving out officially. Then… his wife drove by. Yep, she was tracking him. Some ppl showed up and he moved. I left as she was pulling in.
I went to the police, who did nothing because he didn’t actually hurt me.
He then sent messages to the guy I was seeing after finding out somehow who it was… telling HIM how much he loved me and how he’d have married me already if it weren’t for his youngest still at home and what this would do to him.
Two more times he showed up in two other places… I ended up changing jobs, moving out of state, changing my contact info, getting rid of any app I couldn’t lock down completely, and using a P.O. Box. He STILL found ways to contact me. He started friending my friends online. Anyone he saw mention me in any conversation, he tried to friend.
I continued sending everything to his wife. Every communication. Every “like”. Every friend saying he was trying to connect with them. The messages he sent the guy I was seeing… all of it. If I’m being harassed, she’s going to get it all too. I was sick of it. And scared her was going to continue getting worse. I guess there was a part of me that thought he’d give up if she went off on him enough. Delusional.
The new state’s DA sent him an official cease and desist order. It is just shy of a protective order, which I didn’t qualify for because he didn’t hurt me or specifically threaten to. I now know why so many women die each year.
It’s been two years… He still tries to reach out. Now, he’s just started spreading rumors about me to anyone who’ll listen. They get back to me every time. It’s really crazy the way he thinks. He’s telling everyone his personal business, while trying to make it look like I seduced him to a point he had no control of himself. It’s wild. I have over 100 emails, texts, and messages that I never replied to. And those are just the ones I’ve seen. Mind you, these ppl have seen the stalking themselves.
Am I the a-hole or just wasting my time? It’s been nearly five years, over two of them with me in no contract with him. She does blow up at him every time I send more stuff, she hasn’t blocked me, but it isn’t stopping him… reporting with the police didn’t either though.

My (29F) uncle “Steven” was horrible to me growing up. He would bully me as well as keep picking at me and saying a bunch of stuff until I had enough and got mad. But then the second I did, he’d play the victim and I got in trouble. When I was 18, shit hit the fan when he continued to bully me and I stood up for myself once and for all. I said I didn’t care if my dad (this is his brother) still saw him but I wasn’t going to. And I would not go to any events where he was, unless they were big ones (weddings, funerals, etc.) At this point, there was a divide in my family. A lot of people finally realized what an asshole he was and chose to stop putting up with it. There were a few that stuck by Steven’s side but they were outliers. My dad, to his credit, did distance himself from Steven. He’d still see him and talk to him, but their dynamic changed.
Last year, Steven was in a bad accident. He was hospitalized for a few months. In that time, he and my dad got closer. One of my aunts spoke with Steven a bit and confirmed he’s still the same asshole he was before, if not more so. He has no guilt whatsoever for how he treated anyone and feels that everyone is wrong for not rallying to his side when he “almost died”. My dad truly is one of the only ones that have come back around. I don’t need Steven’s apology nor for him to change. But given he’s not, I still don’t want to see him.
I had a feeling for a really long time that my dad reconciling with him would lead to him wanting to bring him around more. And I was right. When Steven was released from the hospital, my dad brought him to his and my mom’s house more. My mom would tell me when he was over and I just wouldn’t come. My dad didn’t push the issue until Easter. He told me he invited Steven. I said “Okay, I’ll come over another night”. My dad said “C’mon, don’t be this way”. I said I’m not being any certain way. I would never tell him not to have Steven over. I’m just not coming. He tried to beg me to reconsider. I asked if Steven had any plans on apologizing or if he at least changed my behavior. My dad admitted no, he’s still the same as always. I said, cool. We can have an Easter celebration another night.
I guess my dad thought I’d change my mind, but when I didn’t show, he called me to ask where I was. I said I was having dinner with some friends. He asked when I’d come over. I said my mom had invited me to come over another night this week. My dad asked “Seriously? You’re not coming?” I asked if Steven was there, he said yes. I said “I’ll see you Tuesday! Enjoy your Easter.”
It’s been over a month at this point and things have not changed with me and my dad. We haven’t had any major blowouts or anything. But he has made it clear he feels he has to choose between me and Steven. I said I’d never expect him to. But then, I get to make choices too. When he tried complaining to other family, most said I was right but some told him I was immature. So, AITA?

The 200k Mastermind Data Study by Stacey Boehman is complete horse 💩 and an insult to our intelligence.
A true study includes:
A dataset that lacks errors or false reporting.
An actual hypothesis with specific variables.
Some type of control group.
Unbiased, third party peer reviews. A study is essentially invalid without peer reviews.
A deep explanation on how the intervention (in this case the “200k mastermind proven process”) actually works.
Instead, this marketing ploy covers:
Delivery of results via PODCAST EPISODE. What???????
We can’t even see the dataset.
Unverified, false income claims, because people falsely report their income to stay “in the room”.
Zero discussion on what could be improved about how they got to their insights. Most studies will articulate their own limitations.
Also, it took her team 12 weeks to CALCULATE A MEDIAN??? On data they’ve supposedly been collecting for years?
And her head of technology who she keeps bragging worked on the Chipotle app…thousands of people worked on that app. That’s not really saying much.
Her branding with the code stuff in the background is a slap in the face to women who actually work in STEM.
And yes, I did do The 200k Mastermind.
It took me years to process that I paid $25,000…for this“proven process”:
1 - sell one simple offer (LOL so much for that one…she just “unbundled” the mastermind to turn one offer into essentially three and is trying to act like she invented upsells)
2 - in your copy, address a problem and share the solution, process, and results (PSPR)
3 - sell to your best clients (ie work with and market to people who actually want to buy your stuff…DUH)
4 - think intentionally and don’t let yourself be a Negative Nancy (intentional thought creation)
THIS PROCESS DOES NOT WORK.
Oh and let’s not forget about her launch course…it boils down to schedule your emails and stick to your plan.
Maybe her “process” and “concepts” work if, like a lot of her superstars students, you decide to sell something at $10,000 or more and sign 2 people for “a $20,000 month”.
That is not a real, sustainable business.
That’s not a real, sustainable process.
That’s, you were really convincing that one time and got lucky.
It’s not “hyper growth” when you scam five people out of $20,000 to create a $100,000 month or whatever like Simone Seol, Serena Hicks, and Stacey Boehman herself did at different points in their businesses.
I know it’s a launch period right now, so if you’re reading this, don’t do 200k Mastermind.
She “extended the application deadline” because people are catching onto the grift.
I’m just waiting for a class action lawsuit so I can hopefully get my money back someday.
PS — she’s probably doing all this “look my process works” stuff so she can spend even less time coaching in the program and instead let you read her PDFs and do “peer coaching”

I was with my now ex for 11 years. Ages 21 to 32. We were in love with each other, but we had a lot of downs, fights, ectopic pregnancy, break ups, and harsh words thrown at each other. We both have strong personalities and sometimes immaturity on both sides,but we always got over it.
We were planning our future, buying a house, getting married and while not trying to get pregnant, we weren't preventing it. It had been 3 years and nothing, because of my ectopic pregnancy, I had one fallopian tube, so my chances weren't high.
He never gave me any reason to feel insecure in our relationship, so when he went out with some friends with work I didn't think anything of it. He hardly ever went out. Then he got distant,started going out more and was just being mean to me. So I confronted him and he confessed that he met a girl at a bar, and they kissed and he saw her again then broke it off, because of guilt. I was going to forgive him.
He broke up with me and told me he felt a spark with her and made him doubt us. 11 years down the drain.
Much later he told me, he recognized her from high school and he had a crush on her. He use to be obese, but after he graduated, he got thinner, then recently lost more weight. I loved him before his weight loss, before the jewelry, before the nice car.
So despite him telling me it wasn't me, he still loves me and doesn't want to see me hurt,he doesnt want me out of his life, He chose her. Because he wants to see where it goes and doesn't want to regret it. Pathetically, I begged him not to do this to us, while he was crying and apolozing, he didn't relent and left.
11 years and I was so easily thrown away. So while I'm miserable and can't imagine anyone but him, he's with her. Worst part, is that the only comfort I want is from him. How do i let go of 11 years.
Sorry this is so long. I just had to get it out somewhere. And sorry for grammar errors.

I'm planning on getting a seller to ship something to my house and saw that Facebook pay is useless a lot of times. I've heard PayPal is the best way? I've never used PayPal so I was just curious to the best way to go about sending the payment.

Dear Breaker Upper,
Thank you for so generously releasing me! I was held shackled by the idea that we could have been forever, and I was so imprisoned by the confusion of your actions. Why did you never plan dates? Why was it so hard for you to be exclusive? Why did you almost never call me first? Why were you so obsessed with sending selfies of yourself and never asked questions about me?
I am so glad you're not The One. I am so glad that I don't have to accommodate my dreams of True Love to include long silences, tepid make outs, and understandable inconsideration. I don't have to settle for a guy that has to have sex with me in order to know I'm the one. I don't have to tolerate last minute half-baked plans.
Now I can continue to dream of better without you as I make out and get fingered by hot guys in movie theaters. I can have romantic passionate kisses in the middle of a mosh pit to my favorite bands. I can have a guy that isn't afraid to grab my ass and take a kiss from me randomly because he felt like it. I can have long conversations on the phone where we fall asleep to each other's snores. We can be quiet without it being interpreted with anxiety as lack of chemistry. I can cry and be emotional and not be considered "intense" because life is intense, and don't you think when someone tells you they don't love you that maybe you should feel "intense"? I think my Mr. Right would feel like that is so. Not you though.
I don't have to worry about being endlessly interesting because I already am. I did the self-work. I am amazing and powerful, and I am only getting better. The guy that is right for me isn't afraid of my judgment because of my accomplishments, talents and confidence. He is proud to stand by my side, and we are happy to learn and expand from each other's differences.
Thank you, Breaker Upper. I am so free now. Now I don't have to feel guilty about all these men taking notice and offering me numbers, offering me tickets to their concerts and planning romantic dates for me when you failed to appreciate what was right in front of you and did nothing.
Warm regards,
The One That Got Away

Last summer, my daughter’s boyfriend of 3 years asked permission to marry my daughter. She is 24 years old and just completed graduate school. Boyfriend just finished graduate school and has a steady job.
My husband said no. While we aren’t the biggest fans of the boyfriend, the sole reason for saying no is because we do not feel like our daughter is ready to be married. She doesn’t take care of herself, she refused to find a job for a long time, relying on us or the boyfriend to fully support her during graduate school. She did eventually find a job but worked the bare minimum hours. She is immature and in our opinion not ready to be married. We realize that’s our opinion, she is an adult and can do what she wants, but they asked for permission and we gave an honest answer.
They left our house angry and did not speak to us for several weeks. Finally my daughter expressed her disappointment that we said no, and we explained our reasons. We were fully aware they would probably get engaged anyway and that’s fine. We did suggest they wait a year and give my daughter time to get established after graduating.
They got engaged. And to their credit they did make changes. They took over paying their rent fully. My daughter took out a loan for the remainder of her tuition. My daughter still did not pick up more hours, but the boyfriend put them on a budget and made it work. We recognize their effort.
Shortly after we were notified that they had gotten engaged. We were a little hurt that they went against our advice, but again they are adults and can make their own choices.
At that point the funding we were helping her with was medical bills.
As she has approached graduation, she has done the bare minimum to find a job, settling for a temp position. She expected to stay on our benefits even though her job offered her own. She has told people that we “cut her off financially”.
Last week I received an engagement party invite from my daughter’s friend. My daughter has not mentioned this party at all, including last weekend when we were all together for 3 days. This has done nothing but confirm my decision that she is immature and not ready for marriage.
AITAH for not wanting to attend? The party is 4 hours away in the middle of a Saturday. It would last 2-3 hours at most and then I would have to drive 4 hours home. I already had plans for the weekend it’s scheduled (baseball game tickets) and I feel like if my daughter isn’t mature enough to tell me directly about the party, I shouldn’t attend and give the impression I support her getting married at this time.
I would RSVP no to the hostess and leave it at that.
I am willing and would like to have a discussion with my daughter about this especially considering the next event would be a wedding, but previous attempts have shown she is not receptive to having that discussion at this time. She basically told me we should have said yes regardless of our opinion.
So, AITAH?

Please bear with me, I know this is quite a read.
​
So, I knew Mother's Day would be terrible because my mom ends up ruining it every year. We always celebrate with my mimi (grandma, her mom) by playing card games and going out to dinner. My grandma is a very sweet lady, but she doesn't know how to defend herself against my narc mom, so my mom knows exactly how to beat her down. She undermines my mimi worse than she does me and I've had to learn how to stand up for both of us. This year, we were out to eat at a restaurant, and my mimi wanted to know if there was a way she could take her sauce home with her leftovers. She turned to me to ask if I knew. Innocent question, she'd only been to that restaurant once, didn't know the protocol for to-go sauce cups. My mom scowled at her and said "It's a restaurant, of course they have to-go cups." So I immediately chimed in to defend her and said it's a simple question that only deserves a simple answer. She says something along the lines of "Well I just can't believe SHE'S my mom and doesn't know that a restaurant has sauce cups." So I clap back with "Well I can't believe you're my mom and don't know how to treat people with respect!!" Of course we went back and forth over the matter of literally SAUCE CUPS for about 5 minutes before she realized she was wrong and wanted to change the subject. So SHE brought up a day the previous week when I wanted to come over to take a break from my school work (her house is the closest to the school and I only have a 2-hour gap in my school days). She was basically throwing a temper tantrum over the fact that I didn't want to hang out with her. Keep in mind that I called to let her know that I had a miserable day at school (cried in the bathroom) and needed some time to unwind. She kept telling me things like "you should be happy" "you should want to see me" "you should want to hang out with me" etc. I eventually got fed up and just left the room because there's no point in reasoning with her.
Anyway, fast-forward back to the dinner, she brought up this situation and told me how much I hurt her feelings. I then defended myself explaining she never asked me how I was doing or what I needed at that moment, she was telling me the inner monologue of her week and activities planned. She then proceeded to say "I thought I was the one that was upset over this!" To which I replied "????????????? Like hello??!??! Can two people not have feelings over the same topic????" And she said "Never mind, I don't want to talk about this" like she wasn't the one that deflected to it, and then went to wait in the car!!!!!! completely victimizing herself!
Since then, she hasn't reached out to me and I haven't reached out to her either. She did call my mimi last night to tell her that she's uninviting her and my papa to come to dinner sometime this week and she won't be attending my papa's brother's party. Usually, my papa will feed into her delusions so that we "avoid conflict" without realizing he's training her to keep doing whatever she feels like.
I'm ready to block her and never talk to her again. I don't know if my mimi is or not, but my papa sure as heck isn't. What do I do? I want to help them but I know I can't control them
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If you're still here, thank you for reading

For your final writing assignment, you will write a persuasive essay/letter to Teacher. The purpose of your letter should be to effect change at school for the future, whether it be next year or further into the future. Focus on problems or issues at school that you believe need to be addressed. You need to acknowledge the issue(s), come up with solutions, and then clearly explain how those solutions should be implemented. All solutions and implementation must be realistically achievable.
Your essay must be at least 3 pages long, double-spaced, 12-point font.
All essays will be printed out, signed, and delivered to Teacher . This is due Friday, May 17th, @ midnight.
NOTE: Your persuasive essay must be realistic. DO NOT WRITE A JOKE ESSAY. YOU WILL FAIL.
Important elements of persuasive writing to remember:

• Position: Writers need to clearly state their positions on their topics in order to persuade their readers. If a writer is not clear about his/her beliefs on the topic, s/he stands little chance of convincing someone else to make a change. In addition, when writers collaborate on a persuasive piece of writing, all involved must agree to support the same position. Sometimes writers even take a position they do not personally agree with and work to explain that position. You should emphasize this last point as students will be working in groups to develop their own persuasive letters. All students in a group must agree to adopt one single position in their letter.
• Attention to Audience: Writers need to adjust their writing based on their audience. This is especially true when the goal of the writing is to persuade the reader to take action. The writing style will be formal when the audience is a person in a position of authority and casual when the audience is a friend or family member. Illustrate the differences in formal and casual writing by asking students to consider the differences in the ways that they write notes (or emails) to their friends versus the way they would write a letter (or email) to the President of the United States.
• Factual Support: In order to be convincing, a persuasive piece of writing needs to include factual details. Provide students with examples of factual support (i.e., data, anecdotes, interviews, information from other sources such as newspapers and books, and so forth). Students will be using their own experiences and observations as factual support for their persuasive letters. (If you are interested in having your students practice this aspect of effective persuasive writing further, please see the extension activity focusing on Internet research following the lesson.)
• Effective Word Choice: Persuasive language is strong but appropriate. Writers need to choose words that are also descriptive and specific. An excellent example of effective word choice is Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech.
• Ethos: Ethos is the credibility to write. Discuss what gives a particular writer credibility to write a persuasive piece of writing. Give students examples of people who would be considered credible sources on particular topics (i.e., a doctor on health issues, a teacher on education, a government official on local political issues). Ask students to consider what gives them credibility to write about school issues.