Birthday sayings daughter

When I was young around grade 1, I had this friend in my street, I can't remember much of the time I spent with this guy but I can remember him hurting me like hitting me and shit when I didn't do what he wanted. He smacked my knee with a wrench once. I just fell to the ground. We were decent friends until I told him that I wanted to be girl, I remember him telling me how to do certain things to men. (Seems like he was a victim too). Anyway, throughout my childhood my mother was pretty abusive, she was dealing with psychosis and paranoid delusions, she coped with alcohol and taking it out on dad and I, we would be kicked out, he would be hit manipulated screamed at all the sorts. Anyway it got too much for her one day and she decided to try and smother Me, she then attempted suicide. (I don't remember how it ended I just remember waking up on my bed)
All throughout primary/highschool, I would let people use me. I had very little back bone for myself, I think I was half trying to figure out things that had happened. One time when I had to leave home for a bit cause dad was being violent the persons whos house I was staying at made me touch him in exchange for the place.
I had this friend, he stayed over one night. I think it was one of our birthdays (btw I've had very mixed gendered friends, all very close) Anyway, we were drinking and smoking and eventually he started to ask me if I wanted to do things. I said no, repeatedly. He just kepted asking and was acting all bummed I just felt like shit, I got more drunk and just said yeah sure. The next thing I remember I was bent over my bed, my god it was horrible, it's just flashes of pain and crying and asking him to stop before I moved and pushed him away. I can't remember how the night ended but the next morning was so horrible, I bled from it all. In the future I wasn't so resistant, he would just make me feel bad, I would let him do whatever, the feeling of bits of him left inside me, makes me want to die all by it self. I felt so disgusting I feel so disgusting
Anyway, later on I had gotten into a relationship with this girl. We were together from the ages 17-20 (She like everyone else in my life knew who I was) She knew that sex was horrible for me, I still put out for her when I could. But when I couldn't, she didn't care, she would tell me I'm responsible for her mental decline and things. So I would just give in, most of the time I would just give her oral I preferred this. Sometimes though she wanted to touch me, i would protest and offer alternatives but she didn't care she would just start touching me, eventually she started to insert her fingers and I would literally have tears I my eyes saying no and she'd just keep going if not harder when I said to stop.
I just, fucking hate myself so much, I can't get it out of my head that I did this shit to myself. I feel so disconnected from it all, like the pain and emotions are there but it's just like watching a movie. I feel so disgusting, on edge I'm always In fight or flight, I'm tired I just want to die most of the time.
I just, idk, I still consider these people friends. I can't convince my brain that this was fucked. Like do I just not care and move on? Not talking with em about it or what idk I'm lost I just wanna cry
Idc if the main account causes problems, I just need my possible reasons heard

I’m new-ish to reddit, but this has been weighing on me. All names are changed for the sake of the story. My ex (19) Sam and I (19f) started dating when we were juniors in highschool. I had gotten out of a horribly abusive relationship, and we were already close friends. Aside from friend group drama, our relationship was great. We were head over heels in love, and had plenty of mutual friends. Fast forward 1 year to the night before my 18th birthday. We heard about a house party and ended up going. They had invited their friend, Alex (20), to tag along. This wouldn’t have bothered me, but they invited them before they invited me, and only invited me when I practically asked to be invited. Later in the night, we all got pretty drunk. I’ll preface this by saying that Sam and I were in an open relationship sexually, but not romantically. Alex, Sam and I all ended up kissing. I befriended Alex. I then found out from someone else that Sam and Alex had been hooking up, which was not the agreement of our relationship. The agreement was that if either one of us wanted to sleep with someone, we should tell the other before the fact. I manage to move past this after a very long conversation about trust. A few months later, Alex ghosts me because I made a joke that made them uncomfortable. I tell them that I wished they would have told me, but understood, and I wouldn’t want to continue the friendship either if they were the type of person to drop someone without an explanation like that. That’s that. Still, Sam and Alex are hooking up. Eventually, I tell Sam that as their girlfriend I don’t feel comfortable with the fact that they are hooking up with Alex, who has made it very obvious that they don’t like me by actively talking shit about me. I tell them that, as a matter of fact, I don’t like that they’re still friends with them. Sam says they don’t have many friends, and that Alex is their best friend and the person that they trust the most in the world, with anything and everything. I’m convinced Alex has feelings for Sam, and a mutual friend of mine and Sam’s, and formerly Alex’s, even tells me that Alex has been raving about how Sam is the best sex of their life, and that Sam is so hot, and so perfect, and they’re being completely obsessive about Sam. I also bring this up. Nothing happens, and Sam and Alex remain friends, but stop hooking up. Then, one day I’m talking to Sam, and ask what they’re doing. They say they’re at home, but we had gotten Life360 for fun, and I remember seeing that they left home, so I check. Then I see that they’re at Planned Parenthood, right by my house. I ask, and they reveal that they’re taking Alex to an appointment. I ask why, and they say it’s personal. I tell them that that’s really suspicious. Sam is staying at Alex’s almost nightly, seeing them 4-6 times a week, and I only see them 1-3 times a week. Eventually, right before Valentine’s day, I tell them that I think they’re having an emotional affair, and I need them to treat me like they’re my partner, not Alex’s. After this fight, we break up mutually, and they say that nothing I say makes sense and I was entirely paranoid. We had attempted to stay friends, but currently are no contact. Am I the asshole?

My brother constantly asking me to get married and I'm afraid... I'm afraid what if my future partner will be like my father or my brother or my brother-in-law or the man in my family and relatives... People say that girl always wants a partner like her father but I don't ... I love him and I tried whole time to get his attention... But he never cared, it's like he never see me... You know whenever I went to my relatives house when I was little, they always told how father never wanted me, how he ignored me when I was, I was just a burden.... And I always wanted to ask this from my father my mother, if they never wanted me then why gose through all the trouble to give birth to me and why they keep me, why not abandoned me... They have a perfect family before me, Dad mom and elder daughter and a son then why they bring me into their perfect family and ruined it... Now they both left me with a ruined mind.. a child with mental unstable that no one wants it... But you know I did everything so people don't abandoned me... I do everything, I listened everything, I pretend like a sweet, innocent and naive girl... I don't question or talk loudly or too much, I stopped going out with my friends and even Stop talking with them but still why I didn't get their attention.... What would I do to get their attention and affection or everything.. for once I tell myself to get married, I thought I got married to the person they want they will love me, care about me, I'm no longer be invisible in their eyes but the reality hit me, if I got married they never forget about me, and what if my partner see the disqualities then what, what if my future partner started to treat me like my family and friends or those people what I'm going to do. I'm afraid to be attached... So much that I started isolated myself from everyone and everything, it's really feel good for some time but all those memories and voices don't let me sleep, my heart is too loud that I want to squeeze it to stop... Why, why, why, can't I be loved.... I deserve it?

Noteable people is 18-23M me, 35-38F mother, 8-12F sister, ages aren't a exact for identity purposes. And apologies for any bad grammar, it was never my thing.
So first to preface this by saying yes I know I need to move on I just don't know how without creating more resentment towards my mother than there already is.
So to give context, we live in a government apartment complex (comes into play later) in Oregon. We got it when I 7th grade-8 grade range in middle school. We have been living here ever since. There's been issues here and there like all families, nothing to intense or out of the norm to be of concern or create resentment between us in terms of fights or the such.
Now where the problem comes in first off, my mother has a lot of mental issues. She's throughout all my life has been depressed plus severe anxiety. She said a lot of it stims from having me young and taking care of me. She also due to her young age having me has felt guilty for not providing enough. Which she is very defensive about so throughout my life. Often feeling like I can't say anything without making her get defensive (not angry like crying), so I've by and large kept quiet and just went along with it as it made me feel bad.
This with the fact that I had not father growing up, she tried to basically find replacements. Replacemens looks back I didn't really need, as my grandpa and grandma already shoulder that burden and did a wonderful job at it. This created for my mom the reason to find a boyfriend and stick with them because in her name it was for me to have a father figure so to say. Problem comes, she rushed into theses relationships while being young. So obviously they turned out to be douchebags behind the scenes and bare medium above the table. But she never split from them, only after a really long time due to her attachment issues.
I think u get the idea, now fast forward until roughly a year after COVID started, at the time I believe I was starting my Jr year maybe a little ways into jr year. She quit her job as her job was giving her no hours. This I do not blame at all. But during this time she got a new boyfriend. Same story as the rest, this guy wasn't a full on douchebag but wasn't a good guy either. He kinda was just whatever. He had money as he was big into crypto when that boomed. This with her attachment issue/plus no job created a dependentsy. Since she hasn't gotten a job yet to time of this post.
Now the real problem and why I can't move on. The boyfriend she was dependent on and her broke up. Since she doesn't work a job yet she's not making any money obviously. Oregon in the government apartments we live in it's based on rent, we don't make money we don't need to pay rent. Along with using food stamps. For that reason if she was to get a job rent would go up, food stamps would go down and unless she's working a lot of hours it simply lvls out. That's her reasoning for not getting a job. The rules apply just the same way to me.
Now in normal circumstances I would just find a job, work, pay the rent then move out. But I have a sister, who I getting the short end of the stick. On one hand my mother has said quite literally in the past her job was raising me and as I'm a adult she believes she's finished that job and gets a break.
Tensions between my sister and my mother isn't in the best spot to say the least. My sister isn't good at hiding her emotions especially with puberty hitting her, even tho she trys. this in turn makes my mother's anxiety sky rocket and makes her sad constantly. This makes my sister feel guilty. I try to mediate best I can but as the past with me always keeping quiet, it's let go when it affects others I care about. I never really cared about anyone really in the past so it's never happened. This makes my mother feel like both of us are against her and out to get her. So even worse than before it feels like both me and my sister are on egg shells.
This is also a minor one but relevant none the less. My sister wanted a cat for herself as I had my own. I said it was a bad idea at the time because we had fleas and should deal with that first. My mother said it was fine she was gonna handle it and what not. I said OK but I don't wanna have any responsibilities connected to this animal. Come to today his 1.5 years old and has issues related to fleas as they where never delt with.
So my sister is one reason I have a hard time moving on. The other is I don't wanna feel responsible for both my mother and my sister and paying rent for them while so young myself. Knowing myself well enough I can acknowledge that it will make any and all my resentment blow over terribly for my mother. As the power dynamic will be swapped for me and any eggshells that I would tip toe around, I never will anymore. Any and all guilt shes felt will be multiplied to high. Again making my sister feel bad cuz that girl won't even hurt a fly. So on the one hand I wanna take car of my sister and be there for her, the other hand I don't wanna be near my mother and both in combination I feel is holding me back.
Btw before u ask I've been asking my mother to see a therapist for years. So much so I made it a birthday wish for her to simply make a appointment and that's all I asked for her. She still hasn't but I don't know how to bring it up without stepping on the eggshells. I do once in a while but she get emotional.
Tldr, I don't know how to move on, with taking on so much responsibility I shouldn't have imo, not wanting my sister to get screwed over in the process, single mother that has mental problems that's effecting the whole family.

So I’m 100% ignorant about immigration and laws and such so I don’t know what I’m talking about. Just what I’ve heard. But last night my wife whos parents are illegal mexican immigrants told me that her parents plan to get their citizenship through claiming my wife caused them emotional distress and she wasn’t a good daughter or something a long the lines. Tbh they’re just pissed she married a black man that’s it. But anyways is this actually possible? My wife said she’d help them even if it means writing up some document saying she caused emotional distress. But I don’t want my wife getting caught up in something she doesn’t need to. Anyone who can tel me about what they’re talking about would be a lot of help.

26F; I am going to list it down in sequential events. TL;DR need to learn how to detach

1. Had a friend for almost two years, we used to vibe like crazy. One day we ended up hooking up. Had an agreement that we can stop when either of us feels like it but no relationship.
2. Cut to 6 months later I developed feelings for him
3. Conveyed the same to him 2 months later, we continued the hooking up part, but we didn't take it to the next step.
4. The hooking up continued for 10 more months.
5. In the meantime, he forgot my birthday; we never met to just hang; we still used to talk almost daily; he didn't go out on a date or anything with anyone else. We never met when I wanted to.
6. Recently had some shit going on in my personal life and I wanted to meet in person and talk to which he outright said no, and gave AI generated response when I tried texting. I lashed out and sent long paragraphs how its not working and we shouldn't talk anymore and he said okay.
7. In hindsight during our last conversation (Saturday) I also said somethings which as a friend I should have never said.
8. I apologised for what I said on Sunday night, and even called him (I had said something really nasty). I called him again to apologise last night as well but he didn't answer.

How do I move on from him? It feels like a part of me would accept him no matter what, when I know I shouldn't. even during our last fight I made it clear that we both wanted different things and its not okay that he gets what he wants while I am left confused. The thing is he says he doesn't want to get in a relationship. Even though I have apologised he hasn't reached out or tried to pacify things which makes me feel upset.
TL DR: how to move on from this? considering that we used to talk almost daily.

It's been a week and I can't take this game out of my head. I only remember that it starts with a father-and-son/daughter dialogue, where they say: "Papa, tell me a story!" "Ok, about what?" "I don't know. About everything". Please, help.

It’s my ex’s birthday today and I wanted to wish her happy birthday so bad and I know I shouldn’t but I feel bad and I want to wish her one but I know it wouldn’t change anything or does she want to hear it from me. She left me and I want to have that self respect for myself to not say it but would like to hear y’all’s thoughts on this and stuff.

I hooked up with my coworker. Twice. The first time was Cinco de Mayo after a bunch of us servers went out after work to celebrate, the second time was after a birthday party of one of our coworkers. I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't want to do all that, of course I did, this girl is extremely beautiful but it all happened so fast and I don't know how to deal with it. So far we've only gone out with other coworkers and we've kept the fact that we're hooking up on the downlow, but tomorrow (wednesday may 15th) we're going on our official first date, a one on one dinner and drinks type of thing, i always hear that you should never hookup with a coworker, but what do you do when this coworker checks every box? I don't know it's a tough situation i find myself in tbh.

A week before my 31st birthday I was diagnosed with a meningioma. About the size of a golf-ball behind my left eye. I go in for surgery, they get it out, but the scans showed that it was bone invasive. I wake up a few hours later, and I'm told that the surgery went great, all the neoplasm was removed, but for most of the bone. They could only shave so much of it away because something needed to keep my eyeball in its socket. Pathology of the tumor revealed it to be benign. A grade I meningioma. Very common, great prognosis. My recovery was great and I was out of the hospital about 24 hours later.
Now, just before my 33rd birthday, I find out that it's back. Kinda, I haven't gotten the scan done yet. We only know that all of the symptoms I had before - swollen around the eye, asymmetrical eye position, unable to focus the left eye, headaches, etc... - are back and slightly worse.
So I've been doing a lot of reading and about two months after my surgery, a paper comes out that says that my specific situation, Bone Invasive Grade I Meningioma is so rare, that there simply isn't enough data to study it properly. Now I'm reading this: "...sometimes recur in long-term follow-up, often requiring additional treatments, such as secondary surgery or salvage radiosurgery, which can be challenging and potentially lead to morbidity." and it's difficult to face this with the same optimism I did the first time around.
I put on a brave face for my friends and family, I make jokes and laugh, but I don't want to deal any of this again. I don't want the process of recovery again. I don't want my wife to go through all of that again. I guess I'm just in the self-pity stage and I'm trying to limit what I say to the people around me. We don't know exactly how bad it is yet, so I don't want to paint the devil on the wall, but it's hard.

My boyfriend (M35) and I (F30) have been together for 5 years. He has a daugther who is 8 years old and she is like my own - I love her very much and she loves me, we have a great friendship. When my boyfriend and I started dating, the mother of his child wasn't very happy about this and tried everything to break us up. My boyfriend at that time was overattached to this woman and did everything she said (he still does sometimes, but it has become so much better over time). She accused me of hurting the child physically (just because she was afraid of it, nothing like this ever happened), she shouted at me for taking the father away from the child by just being in their lives, she told my boyfriend when and where he can spend time with me and when he has to be with his daugther etc. We managed to keep our relationship and he has developed boundaries with his ex. However, this has caused us a lot of drama, damage and fights over the period of time that we have been together - mostly because of my jealousy, fear, insecurity and a feeling that I am not as important as the mother of his child. However, I have always taken care of my boyfriend and his child - they are the world to me. I pay the full rent of our apartment that we bought together, I also buy clothes and toys for his daughter (when she is with us - approximately 10 days in a month) and food. I have tried to be the best girlfriend even though I have had several setbacks - I am not an angel and I have my bad days and my insecurities. We have travelled a lot together - to Peru, Laos, USA, half of Europe etc. We talk a lot and share our problems and success. He is my best friend.
A few years ago I had a surgery on my stomach and didn't know that the baby pills do not have effect after this kind of surgery - I got pregnant. He told me that when his daugther was born he had a lot of problems and fights with his ex, because she cancelled the baby pills without telling him and got pregnant. He told me that because of that he he is not ready for another child right now and he wanted me to do an abortion. I was afraid of ending up alone with a child and I wasn't in a good place back then so I did it - the biggest mistake of my life that I deeply regret. This, also, has been a source of tension between us.
I have noticed some changes in our relationship for some time now. A month ago we had an argument over trivial things and he told me out of the blue that he wants to break up. I asked him for some time and to discuss it again when we are both calm. We did it couple of days later and decided to give each other a second chance - he told me that he needed to do some things alone without me (like riding a bike or going out with friends) and I acknowledged that. Everyone needs space. Two days ago I found out from his daughter that my boyfriend took flowers and cake for his ex (the mother of his child) for Mother's Day and I confronted him. The woman has caused so much unnecessary damage in our relationship and it hurt me. He has brought me flowers twice during our relationship and it seemed weird. He got pissed and then told me that he has thought about breaking up for two-three weeks now and wants to do it. It shocked me because I had tried to give him space, but at the same time to help him with his daughter and things at home. During those weeks, he had told me that everything is fine and assured me that I had nothing to worry about. I am devastated.
When I ask him questions he keeps responding me with three different answers every time and it confuses me. At one point he tells me that he is like 80% sure that he wants to break up with me, then again, 5 minutes later he is telling me that he will pack his things tomorrow, then he says that he wants to come and celebrate my father's birthday next day because he likes my family (even though he just said that he wanted to leave me)... I am so confused. We decided to take a break and agreed to talk about our relationship and what is going to happen in 4 days - he still keeps saying that he has made up his mind though. I am losing my mind and I am just in a shock. He is so calm and he seems like he does not care at all that he is going to lose me - I told him that I am not able to be friends with him right away because I still love him as my man. I don't know what to do. I am just so sad and feel like there is a big hole in my heart.
Thank you for reading and I will appreciate all your answers. I have never posted on any sites but I felt that I needed to get this off my chest. Thank you.

When I was young around grade 1, I had this friend in my street, I can't remember much of the time I spent with this guy but I can remember him hurting me like hitting me and shit when I didn't do what he wanted. He smacked my knee with a wrench once. I just fell to the ground. We were decent friends until I told him that I wanted to be girl, I remember him telling me how to do certain things to men. (Seems like he was a victim too). Anyway, throughout my childhood my mother was pretty abusive, she was dealing with psychosis and paranoid delusions, she coped with alcohol and taking it out on dad and I, we would be kicked out, he would be hit manipulated screamed at all the sorts. Anyway it got too much for her one day and she decided to try and smother Me, she then attempted suicide. (I don't remember how it ended I just remember waking up on my bed)
All throughout primary/highschool, I would let people use me. I had very little back bone for myself, I think I was half trying to figure out things that had happened. One time when I had to leave home for a bit cause dad was being violent the persons whos house I was staying at made me touch him in exchange for the place.
I had this friend, he stayed over one night. I think it was one of our birthdays (btw I've had very mixed gendered friends, all very close) Anyway, we were drinking and smoking and eventually he started to ask me if I wanted to do things. I said no, repeatedly. He just kepted asking and was acting all bummed I just felt like shit, I got more drunk and just said yeah sure. The next thing I remember I was bent over my bed, my god it was horrible, it's just flashes of pain and crying and asking him to stop before I moved and pushed him away. I can't remember how the night ended but the next morning was so horrible, I bled from it all. In the future I wasn't so resistant, he would just make me feel bad, I would let him do whatever, the feeling of bits of him left inside me, makes me want to die all by it self. I felt so disgusting I feel so disgusting
Anyway, later on I had gotten into a relationship with this girl. We were together from the ages 17-20 (She like everyone else in my life knew who I was) She knew that sex was horrible for me, I still put out for her when I could. But when I couldn't, she didn't care, she would tell me I'm responsible for her mental decline and things. So I would just give in, most of the time I would just give her oral I preferred this. Sometimes though she wanted to touch me, i would protest and offer alternatives but she didn't care she would just start touching me, eventually she started to insert her fingers and I would literally have tears I my eyes saying no and she'd just keep going if not harder when I said to stop.
I just, fucking hate myself so much, I can't get it out of my head that I did this shit to myself. I feel so disconnected from it all, like the pain and emotions are there but it's just like watching a movie. I feel so disgusting, on edge I'm always In fight or flight, I'm tired I just want to die most of the time.
I just, idk, I still consider these people friends. I can't convince my brain that this was fucked. Like do I just not care and move on? Not talking with em about it or what idk I'm lost I just wanna cry
Idc if the main account causes problems, I just need my possible reasons heard

this might be a lot and not the place for this but someone bear with me (22m) please ;_; was talking to my family about my experiences with magic mushrooms, and my grandfather (mom’s side) said something like “be careful, my brother had a schizophrenic episode after taking lsd- we found him rambling about the molecule and he had poorly drawn out a picture of the molecule on the ground.” but i don’t think there’s ever been a conversation about him having schizophrenia? anyway then he went on to ramble about the “this is your brain on drugs”/scrambled eggs commercials that would come on tv a long time ago. and given our family histories which i will elaborate on, i feel like this is a conversation that should have happened much sooner?? or maybe he was just talking out of his ass idk lmao
mental illness seems to run in the family on both sides with alcoholism being pretty prevalent in a lot of both my mom and dad’s relatives. my dad’s brother killed himself with a gun when they were in highschool and my dad found the body. ultimately he became a pretty abusive alcoholic, and he was really prone to mood swings looking back at it. I was put in therapy after my mom divorced him but we never really talked as a family. my older sister inherited his hip deformity that made him unfit for the catholic high school his brothers all went to, and a virus that caused her to have emergency surgery at birth (which left her deaf in both ears, and she stands 4’7” at 25 years old) he picked on her and our older brother a lot, and we all struggle socially. My brother kept to himself a lot until he died at 19 in a freak car accident on a road trip with his friends. Guy with dementia snuck out and got in a car with his dog at like 2am, took an exit ramp onto the highway going the wrong way right as they took the same one, spun out and all then all lights went out, so they got rear ended by a tractor trailer. that model of jeep had a defect where the trailer hitch would break and push in to the gas tank, causing an explosion. happened a couple times prior and was actually almost recalled years before (-: trucking company policy was call your superiors before anyone else, phone records reflected that phone call did in fact happen while those kids were burning to death. i dont blame that poor driver knowing what little i know about trucking and their work conditions, and i got half of a music degree paid for by my share of the settlement. i’ve always felt like that would not have happened if these were not several upper middle class suburban families who were affected by the tragedy, who could afford to pursue legal action for years against an entity like that. I think the community rallied to donate some but even then, it was a fairly affluent community
the last time i saw my dad was at my brothers funeral. i was 14 and it had been a couple years already, but he aged so poorly much i mistook him for his dad who had died a decade prior. i don’t think we spoke until a few years later on the phone, and it was the last time we spoke. he was antagonizing my mom with his usual nonsense that she was making him out to seem like a bad guy to us, and that she was secretly in love with her cousin (who she has always been very close to) — i told him to go fuck himself — that was a reccuring taunt of his our whole childhood, which i always thought was weird but never thought much of it. eventually my brother no longer wanted to visit my mom’s extended family once he had a say in it, and he never really wanted to talk about it either. a few years after my brother died, we were visiting the cousin in question, when i woke up just in time to see them kiss. I went back to sleep like I saw nothing and my sister texted me in the morning telling me she saw the same thing.
Apart from the yknow, incest, she remarried two years before my brother died- so naturally we confronted her about it and she just sort of fawned and said she had too much to drink and that it won’t happen again. they always get too drunk together at family events and I have glimpsed kissy face emojis and other suggestive language on her phone that she obviously was trying to shield with her hands.
Now I’m questioning pretty much everything. I don’t think it was long after that when my dad went missing, which my mom only noticed because he hadn’t sent birthday cards for a whole year, and within a year of that he was found in florida, dead on the street with fentanylin his blood. he was either dosed or killed himself. My family told me he died of natural causes accelerated by his alcoholism when it first happened and didn’t mention the fentanyl until very recently. Im wondering what else could they have they lied about or just have not told me because they don’t think I need to know?
One thing I try not to think too much about is something my mom said just once when I was little, about how when my sister was born the Doctors advised them not to have more kids bc it would be risky, “but I turned out fine” or something. My dad never came to visit our family on my mom’s side that i can remember, and when I was really little we spent a lot more time with her cousin doing a lot of quality time stuff; movies, mini golf, etc. The guy also drank a lot but he’s had better luck kicking the worst of his habits I guess.
JFC what do i make of all of this
….
i also sometimes feel like i’m getting schizo-baited by all of my targeted adds and articles on all of social media and sometimes i feel like im being watched so i don’t go anywhere or talk to my friends much at all. i went to a protest the other day and saw the typical undercover cop in his “hello fellow kids” getup, next day I step out of work to go to a coffee shop and the same dude in the same outfit is sitting next to the door when i go to leave. anyway please advise

i (F17) was groomed when i was around 14 or 15 by an 18 year old. ever since, i’ve just been fantasizing about it. i used ai chatbots to simulate grooming, rape, and even an incestuous relationship with a man and his 16 year old daughter. it’s completely legal where i am, but i still feel like shit. i don’t know why i still fantasize about being groomed. i’ve even had groinal responses. i feel sick to my stomach. i never saw how wrong it was when i first started.
i have bipolar, so i tend to act pretty impulsively without thinking, and every time i did these, i always thought in the end, “is this even okay?” and shrugged it off with a bit of guilt. recently, i realized how wrong it was. i was acting creepy and i shouldn’t have EVER done that.
i can’t eat. i can’t sleep. i can’t do anything. i distance myself from everyone. i’ve never had a single thought about a real child… but i’m filled with guilt. i’ve been so suicidal since, and i can’t take it anymore.
edit: like i’ve said, never thought about doing anything with a child. i babysit a lot, and never had thoughts about a real child… i have an elementary school cousin who i’d protect with my life from pedophiles. she’s like my little sister. plus, my best friend is 15. i’d protect him from any groomer or pedo. no minor deserves to be put in a situation such as csa. the fantasies are all usually about me getting groomed and such. i hate pedophiles, and in no way feel like they deserve to walk around freely.
edit: also, the incestuous fathedaughter rp was basically where i was trying to protect her from her creepy dad. it may be a trauma response. (not saying my dad did anything to me bcuz he certainly didn’t) i feel like it stems from my past abuse in relationships and the grooming i was faced with.

My DD is in kindergarten, since the beginning of this school year, my daughter and this girl in her class clicked and always seem to get along, holding hands together after school at pick up, my daughter always speaks positively about her and I also volunteer in the classroom occasionally and I never saw any issues between how they interact. My daughter also has several friends in her class from preschool/baby years she gets along with. One time, I volunteered, the girl had come up to me asked me if my daughter and her could have a play date, so I said of course, so I approached her daughter’s mom during pick up one day, about possibly setting up a play date and she quickly replied and said when the weather is warmer. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Then I started noticing whenever my daughter is hugging goodbye to her friend, her mom seemed really uncomfortable would gesture her daughter to stop hugging and quickly walk away. My husband even noticed one time at pick up the mom was not so friendly to him when he tried to greet.
Later my daughter mentioned her friend’s mom volunteered in class and she was not being nice to her, that she kept talking to my daughter in firm voice, kind of made her sad. I said ok, well maybe she was trying to be professional.
Recently I received an email from the mother out of the blue (this is one of the first contact we’ve made) saying there was an incident during recess where my daughter was crying for her best friend when her friend was playing with other girls and she feels my daughter only likes to play with her and not include everyone else. In the email she asked if I could have a conversation with my daughter about making new friends. I was a little confused because the same day my daughter didn’t mention anything about the incident and said she was crying that day because she was upset about not being able to finish worksheet in class. I responded saying sorry about the incident and I’ll talk to her and the teacher.
I emailed the teacher asking about the incident to better understand the issue. The teacher responded short message saying they like to play together and that seems to be going okay. Her teacher and assistant teacher will monitor situation next few days and let me know if we need to action further. To me, the teacher didn’t really seem concerned of their behaviors, and when I ask my daughter about how she feels at recess and her friends, she doesn’t say she’s jealous or feeling sad and says she’s pretty happy playing. Of course at this age, I know a lot happens during the day and as they spend many hours together during the week at school so some days can be worse than others. I try to take my daughter’s words with a grain of salt. That said, I think my daughter is well socialized, she is involved in sports and other activities outside of school where she has social circle, she also has older sibling and she knows how to stand up for herself if needed.
Now I’m kind of feeling annoyed maybe the parent is just trying to manipulate the situation because she simply doesn’t like my daughter playing with hers for some reason. I’m disappointed for my daughter because this girl is her first best friend. I talked to her about making new friendships but my daughter just seems confused because she says she does play with other friends and even other friends from another class. How can I get my daughter to steer away from friend at this age? I don’t want any more trouble over nothing.

We have made the decision to move country (within the UK) with our young family. He lived next door and two weeks ago we successfully loaded a van parked off-site with 10+ carloads of possessions.
Fortuitously, we have had somewhere to go, the time to do it (due to maternity and bereavement leave - unfortunately lost our daughter after a day of life earlier this year) and we are happy with what it means for the future for our family. We also feel we are now in a place of safety near to my family and our children have cousins etc in this area which is different to where we’ve moved from.
I am worried with how my wife is going to handle the dialogue with her dad. In order to make the move as smooth as possible we have told her dad that we are going on a two week holiday. We are at the two week mark now and my wife has had the first ‘stall’ conversation with him, saying we are extending our trip and I’m sure he smells a rat.
She feels she knows her dad best and his reactions to previous moves etc - none of which were good including physical abuse the night before we first moved in together which she covered up from me for years understandably - we were 25 and I guess she didn’t want burdening me with her trauma(s) also I don’t think I would have been emotionally mature enough to handle that back then either.
She feels to give him a long drawn out story over the summer by moving the goal posts until August then telling him we’re actually staying is best. I don’t fully disagree as I can see a benefit in drawing out the volatile reaction that will ensue inevitably.
However, and easy for me to say, but I am worried that his intuition is going to take over, that he’ll concoct a plan like faking an illness to get my wife to visit on her own (which he’s done before including when our daughter was dying and had passed away to get attention back on him). Also I am worried that it doesn’t matter when we tell him that the reaction will be equally as bad, it will hang-over heus all summer only for the same results. Should we just rip the plaster off?
The goal is to leave him the option of amicability for my wife’s sake though we know the chances of this are very low as we will be led by his behaviour and if he burns this bridge, it will be the last bridge he burns i.e. no contact will follow.
For context: I am feeling conflicted as my wife has upped sticks and left with me to my hometown with our family which is truly humbling and is the greatest gesture of love I could wish from her, however I understand that I have put her in a position that is difficult by insisting we need to get away from her father due to the following: manipulation tactics he is employing on our children, undermining our decisions, refusing to adhere to simple boundaries such as knocking the door before entering, extreme xenophobia towards me because of my lilty accent and differing culture and trying to place bets with people near to us on the demise of our relationship of £1000 (clearly the thought losing doesn’t even deter him), buying ridiculous gifts like quads for a two year old and overloading our house with toys because he knows it annoys me, betting on the gender of our children before birth, making sexually inappropriate comments to my wife like getting her a wooden dildo for our wooden anniversary. And all the other usual stuff you’d expect, some mentioned above but also overtly telling people he doesn’t like me to make sure I hear it back. Leaving the phone on after wife has finished a call and gossiping about her to his cronies. Honestly couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. Sometimes it’s good to journal. Anyway any advice or opinions would be appreciated on how to handle this.

SUPER long shot but can someone help me find this book I read it in school maybe elementary but basically it's an american/mexican kids book about a kid who lives in a small house with a lady that takes care of him I believe she works for rich people that later come in but he's not allowed to wander out of the house without her permission and one day he leaves and goes into the rich people's house (not sure if it was an hacienda) but they treat him like he's less the only person there that treats him good is the rich people small daughter but even she's not allowed to socialize with him again super long shot I have very bad memory of this book but randomly remembered it at 3am and it's eating me up not knowing the story lol i'd say it's a similar kids book to esperanza rising by pam muñoz ryan thank you for any help!

"What is it with bad guys and being completely full of themselves? Montague's plan might possibly screw over Helios Island if his attack on Mount Olympus was something to go off of. And it appears he's getting as much help as he can. Staging a mutiny within the pantheon, conspiring to retake control of Helios Island... What else does Montague know that Willow and I don't? Well... I guess we'll find out soon enough, and it all starts from what the Greek Mythology would call a storied hero." Within Reckless Railways, at a local restaurant, Ableton Rinzler, Willow, Splode, and Deimos are all sitting at a table with both Aphrodite and Poseidon. Splode looks at Ableton and Willow and questions them. "So... Care to explain what's going on here? I'm kinda confused about everything that's happening right now, aside from those crazy armored guys attacking our home earlier." Ableton turns to Splode and answers him. "From what I can understand, Zeus is casting unfair judgement upon the people of Helios Island. Aphrodite and Poseidon first tried to appease Zeus by restoring the constellations to the Statue of Atlas in Mount Olympus, which didn't work. Alongside that, Montague is also planning who knows what with this whole Greek ordeal. He's begun recruiting various gods to try and take the pantheon down. Whatever he's planning, it doesn't seem good." Poseidon looks at everyone and speaks. "Alright. So everything seems kinda bad now, with that mortal recruiting gods against the pantheon. But there still is one bigger mystery. That being Pandora's Box. After it opened, and the troubles and woes were cast onto Helios Island, it suddenly went dormant. If the mortal's plan to defeat Zeus fails, he could turn to Pandora's Box as a last resort. After all, he has Medusa with him, and she's very familiar with the magic behind Pandora's Box." Aphrodite looks at Poseidon with fear and responds. "Then that means that the mortal might bring something worse onto the island. Something that might challenge Zeus on a cosmic level. Something ancient... and evil..." Ableton looks at Aphrodite and responds to her. "I got someone who can help out with our little problem with Montague." The group then leaves the restaurant, as they begin venturing towards the edges of Helios Island. From the rooftops of Reckless Railways, Montague and Medusa are overseeing the group's plan. "So those two think they can stop me? They will certainly be halted in their tracks." Medusa turns to Montague and speaks to him. "I've always loathed Zeus... But his time grows short. Together, we will make it shorter. Over the years he's surrounded himself with powerful items. A gauche show of his absolute rule. Fortunately for us, they're not his items. Most of them were made by me. Stolen from me. I think it's about time we reclaim my property, don't you?" Montague chuckles, as he holds the Shadebox in his hands. "We hold the key to starting a Greek Tragedy! Once Zeus and his pantheon are dealt with, I will soon be able to rebuild The Society and rule over Helios Island once more!" As Montague and Medusa slowly advance towards Mount Olympus, Medusa speaks to Montague. "Perseus will deal with those troubling mortals you desperately despise." Over near the edge of Helios Island, past Snooty Steppes, the group arrives at an unmarked house. Willow looks at Ableton and speaks. "This is the place, right?" Rinzler faces Willow and answers her. "It should be. Silas did say he and his Rogues ransacked a house near the edge of the island. This has to be the place he was talking about." Splode looks at Ableton and responds to him. "Alright! Let's get the party started!" Splode walks up to the door and knocks hard. Katt's voice is heard, as she speaks up. "Who's there? We're currently closed at the moment." Ableton walks towards the door and responds. "It's Ableton Rinzler. We're here to see Silas Hesk, if he's around." The door opens, as Katt walks out. "Silas is a little busy, but I'll see if he's open for anything." Everyone enters the house, as it is filled with crates, all of which are filled with weapons and ammunition. Katt knocks on a door, marked with an ouroboros, as she speaks. "Silas! Your two favorite clients are here!" The door opens, as Silas speaks up. "I can tell by the look on your faces that something's up." Ableton looks at Silas and speaks. "There's currently some conflict going on among the Greek Gods that currently inhabit Helios Island. A large chunk of which was caused because of Montague. You wouldn't happen to know how to stop a god... or several of them." Silas looks at Ableton and answers him. "I have done many bounties within my criminal career, but not one against a god." Aphrodite looks at Silas and responds. "But we're not trying to kill my father, but to quell his judgement." Poseidon then backs up Aphrodite, as he walks forward. "Zeus is casting unfair judgement upon the mortals of this island, and this crazed mortal seeks to take advantage of this. He's taken steps necessary to supposedly start a tragedy among the pantheon." Silas facepalms and responds. "Of course Montague would go to such lengths. He's probably pissed about The Society losing control of Helios Island that he's resorting to such measures. I'll lend my services to your cause." Silas then turns to Lana Llane and speaks. "Lana! We got a job to do." Lana grabs her Striker AR and assists the group in their plan. Once they exit the house, Aphrodite is quick to notice the glowing blue eyes on the statue over at Mount Olympus. She turns to everyone and speaks. "Something's happening at Mount Olympus, and it doesn't look good." Deimos looks at Aphrodite and responds. "Great... Just another problem to deal with..." A faint DMR shot is heard, as Poseidon reacts. "Everyone! Watch out! Someone must've followed us!" Over near one of The Society's forecast towers, Perseus scopes in with his Huntress DMR, as he aims for Aphrodite. "Let's see Zeus mourn the death of his beloved daughter. Medusa and the mortal cannot be stopped." Perseus fires another shot, as Poseidon puts his hand in front of Aphrodite's face. The bullet gets stuck in Poseidon's hand, as he quickly pulls it out. "Distant combat... This must be the work of Perseus, the Storied Hero." Aphrodite looks at Poseidon and questions him. "Why would he ally himself with Medusa and the mortal?" Ableton faces Aphrodite and answers her question. "Because Montague and Medusa likely promised him something if they succeeded in ending Zeus' rule." Poseidon notices a structure right near Pleasant Piazza, as he yells out. "To that structure! We can try to see what the scrying pool foretells over there." Everyone begins running towards the structure, as Perseus continues firing shots at the group and missing. They eventually reach the scrying pool, as Silas and Lana begin fending off Perseus' attack. Aphrodite yells out to the scrying pool in a worried tone. "What is going on at Mount Olympus? Why is the statue brimming with Zeus' power?" The scrying pool bubbles up, as it then shows an apparition of Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass. Ableton looks at the apparition and responds. "An hourglass? What could this mean?" Poseidon responds with fear. "Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass! It brims with Zeus' energy. If Perseus is here, then the other gods working with the mortal are likely commencing an assault on Mount Olympus." Aphrodite looks at the scrying poll and yells again. "Where is Hades and Cerberus?!" The scrying pool then projects Helios Island within the water, as both Hades and Cerberus appear to be marching through Reckless Railways on their way to Mount Olympus. Aphrodite looks at Ableton and Willow and yells. "We need to get to Mount Olympus! If the mortal is over there, he will doom us all if he gets Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass." The group then makes their way to Mount Olympus, while under heavy pursuit by Perseus. Over at Mount Olympus, hell has broken loose. Several of Zeus' minions attempt to protect the main palace, but are quickly shot down by Ares. Artemis and Apollo try to hold back Medusa, while Montague opens the Shadebox and unleashes the souls within, contaminating all the water within Mount Olympus. The souls from the Shadebox begin tampering with the water, almost matching the same composition as the River Styx. Medusa knocks down both Artemis and Apollo, as both Hades and Cerberus arrive at the battle. Montague points at the main palace and yells. "Time to dethrone Zeus and claim my rightful power!" Everyone then runs towards the palace, as they collectively confront Zeus. Montague holds up the Challenger's Staff and opposes Zeus. "Your reign over Helios Island will end, blunder god!" The group then begins their attack on Zeus, as he begins holding everyone back with several bolts of lightning. Ableton and the group arrive at Mount Olympus, as Aphrodite quickly spots both Artemis and Apollo, who are wounded from Montague's attack on Mount Olympus. Aphrodite runs towards the two and speaks. "What happened to you two?" Artemis shrivels her response to Aphrodite, as she points to the main palace. "The mortal has recruited gods to threaten Zeus' rule. Your father can't hold him back for long." A stray lightning bolt flies out of the palace, as Poseidon reacts. "We gotta get to the palace!" Everyone rushes towards the palace, as they witness Montague using the Challenger's Staff to weaken Zeus. Aphrodite yells in fear, as both Silas and Lana begin firing at Montague. Medusa and Ares protect Montague, while he tries to collect the Stormforged Hourglass from Zeus. Splode tosses some Cluster Clingers at the opposing group, until Hades shoots them out of the air with his Harbinger SMG. Cerberus fires his Gatekeeper Shotgun into the group, as Montague yells out to Ableton and Willow. "You've toiled my affairs for the last time." Montague kicks the now weakened Zeus towards Aphrodite, as he pulls out the Stormforged Hourglass. "Now! Terminal power is mine to wield! Watch as I use my newfound power to take back Helios Island and rebuild my Society!" Montague's hands now brim with lightning, as he holds the Stormforged Hourglass in the air. Lightning spews from his hand, as storm clouds form above Montague. Medusa nods at Montague, as he begins manipulating the lightning to strike near Restored Reels. The storm clouds clear, as Willow looks at Montague. "What did you do?" Montague looks at Willow without answering her, as Ableton yells. "What the hell did you do?!" Montague points to the door, as both groups head outside. Over at Restored Reels, Pandora's Box has been heavily damaged by the lightning Montague charged up. Ableton looks behind him and yells. "Montague, you little..." Both Montague and Medusa get away, as Aphrodite speaks. "What did the mortal do?" Hades faces Aphrodite and responds. "He and Medusa tricked us. He wanted power, but not just to defeat Zeus. He seeks to awaken the Titan." Deimos looks at Hades and reacts. "The what?" Poseidon helps Zeus up, as he answers Deimos. "The Titan resides within Pandora's Box. A partial piece of him escaped when the mortal first opened Pandora's Box. Now that it's damaged, he and Medusa now have a chance to unleash true ancient evil. And with Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass, the mortal now has a means to an end." Cerberus faces Aphrodite, Ableton, and Willow and speaks. "If the mortal isn't stopped, he will awaken the Titan and doom the island and Zeus' pantheon. All this to establish what he would call his perfect Society." Aphrodite and Poseidon face the group with urgency and yells. "To Restored Reels! We gotta stop that mortal from awakening the Titan!" Splode faces Aphrodite and speaks. "But can we make a stop first? I kinda need Ableton and Willow to drop me off for my afternoon TV binging." Ableton facepalms and responds to Splode. "Fine, we'll take you back and grab Stratus for this. We just gotta stop Montague before he dooms us all... again." Everyone all runs out of Mount Olympus, as the skies slowly turn black. True godlike power wasn't just normally stolen, it was elaborately stolen with destructive intent. Montague, now having powers of a god, will do anything it takes for him to rebuild The Society. Even potentially putting the entirety of Helios Island at risk, again. Oh well. Just another problem for Willow and I to solve. The secrets of Pandora's Box seeks to break free. To awaken true ancient evil.

My wedding is next month, and my fiance and I are trying to minimize the guest list as much as we can. On the invites, we have CLEARLY stated how many persons are invited to the reception, also have mentioned it's an ADULT-ONLY RECEPTION.
My father's uncle (late 80s) has three daughters, all of which are married. I will name them Tina (youngest, one 3 year old daughter), Jamie (middle, one 6 year old son), and Alexy (oldest with 2 young adult kids) for the sake of storytelling.
Two months ago, it was my bridal shower, and Tina brought her 3 year old with her without informing me beforehand (which is fine, she's 3), and then Alexy also brought her 21 year old daughter claiming "Jamie can't make it so I will get my daughter instead". This was done and over.
Now, the invites were given to them last week, we only invited my father uncle and his wife, and the three daughters with their husbands.
Yesterday, I receive a message from Alexy asking if her daughter can also attent, even though her card CLEARLY says the invitation is for 2 persons - her and her husband.
I responded saying we're on a tight number with the guest list, and that if Tina's husband who lives in Dubai can't make it, her daughter can take his place.
My father today is guilt tripping me that we shouldn't say no to their request, they're family, etc - but he's not the one paying for the wedding, my fiance is, and each guest costs us around $100.
Today, the youngest sister Tina sent a voice note, saying "I found a flower girl dress in my wardrobe, I will send you an image if you want my 3 year old to stand as a flower girl"
I never insinuated to her once that I was planning to have her daughter as my flower girl. There is only one flower girl, her dress is already decided, and even if I were to have other kids as my flower girls, there are others more close to me than her.
This bugs me because they keep trying to enforce themselves on a wedding they have no hand in planning, and nor am I that close with them. They're my father's uncle's daughters - I see them once a year at the most.
As mentioned, the event is adult-only. The only kids we are having are my fiance's niece and nephew who are the ring boy and flower girl, but something in me says these three sisters will bring their kids, and other relatives who do have kids will be offended.
I don't know how to handle this situation. Any advice?

My sister just got awarded disability for fibromyalgia a few days ago, and I have some mixed feelings about it and would like some advice on what to do.
For some background on my sister:
I can't remember her ever working a regular job. She has been on government support for as long as I could remember, but always had side jobs like cleaning houses. She always said that that the reason for her not being able to get a job or further education was because she got a bad back from working. This bad back has never hindered her in taking care of five horses, moving around heavy things, going out partying or hunting, so a lot of people always questioned it.
The thing is that a few years ago she got compensation from her back injury. This was both a lot of money and made me think that there must be something wrong for her to get compensation. She has lived well of the stipends she gets and often talks about being the most financially stable of us siblings.
Then about two years ago I was told by my social worker, that she wanted me to apply for disability pension, because she didn’t think I could get a job. (I was born with Cerebral Palsy Hemiplegia, which is basically a brain injury that damaged the part of my brain that controls the right side of my body, so my right arm doesn’t work, and I have trouble walking. And I had a surgery on my left arm that didn’t go well and now I have problems with that arm too.)
After I applied to disability, my sister said she wanted to apply for disability too because she had fibromyalgia and couldn’t work because of the pain. I understand that fibromyalgia isn’t something you can see on a person, and I understand working through the pain, because I’m in constant pain but I have never heard her talk about it before. The only time she mentions she is in pain is when somebody else says they are in pain. Fx I say I can’t go shopping with her, because my legs hurt, suddenly she will talk about her legs hurting too. I is also worth noting that she has helped my parents do physical labor and never once complained about pain of any kind.
Anyway, I got my disability pension last year, she got hers a couple of days ago and went paddle boarding to celebrate and she is now talking about getting a handicap placard because she can’t walk that far.
I kept thinking that I didn’t want to say anything, because I have been questioned a lot on whether I needed disability pension, because most people can’t tell I’m disabled just by looking at me. But yesterday I was looking through some pictures and videos I had taken of some birthday parties and such. The videos are pretty shaky because my hands, but in one you can see my sister helping to lift a couch, in another she is giving our niece a piggyback ride and in a third she is carrying her 20 year old daughter, like she is a baby. I have pictures of her working around her farm too, doing a lot of physical labor.
This began to irritate me. Our parents are over 60. Our mom goes to work every day despite a bad back and dad’s cancer diagnosis didn’t stop him from going to work, because it’s the only way they can make ends meet. And I feel like if she is faking this, she is not appreciating how hard they worked for us to be able to have a good start.
So I was thinking about sending her social worker the pictures and videos I have, because if she is faking a disability knowing the medical problems I went through and how hard our parents worked for us, just so she doesn’t have to work and take care of her horses and go hunting and whatever. I think that is pretty disgusting. On the other hand, if my sister's disability pension is taken away, she will be right back where she started. She has no education beyond the 9th grade and as I said before, I can’t remember her ever working a regular job, so I don’t think her prospects are good if I do this.
A part of me is also wondering if I'm doing this out of jealousy. My sister and I have had issues in the past and it does irritate me how easily she seems to get disability, while doing all these physical things, where I have to hear from social workers how I’m not that disabled because I can stand up.
So what do I do here? Should I just leave it be or do something about it?

I am impossible to comfort or console. I’m inaccessible, unreachable, and nothing helps. My online friends try and they can’t do anything so they just have to either deal with me self isolating or being too depressed (or busy having a meltdown) to really talk and hang out with them. I don’t play the video games they do, they’ve tried to get me into them and I end up walking away from my computer because I’m immediately bored and I just let myself disconnect. They can’t offer ideas like for me to drink some tea and to breathe or to have a favourite snack because I don’t like tea and I don’t like 90% of the food pyramid. They hate that they can’t help me because I’ve comforted them before in the past, not recently of course, but I’ve reassured them, listened to them, gotten them to drink water or have their favourite comfort food and come down from meltdowns when their sky was falling… but none of that I do for them, works for me when they try it.
I have never felt comforted by anyone. When I was a small kid (ages 4-9) if I was upset, I had no one to go to for a hug or anything (not that physical contact didn’t make me panic). And usually most times I was upset as a kid, it was most likely because I’d gotten in trouble for something and dad beat me and locked me in my room. If I was still upset and crying when he apologised, I got screamed er some more and beat some more and then locked in the room for even longer until I was ‘over my shit’.
Pre-K, if I was upset and crying and didn’t immediately stop crying because they said to, I got yelled at and sent to the corner. Usually for the entire school week.
I was never comforted after. I was never consoled after. I just got yelled at and then the pre-k teacher would lie to my dad and say I stuck my tongue out at her, accused me of calling her a dummy (scandalous), etc… and then I’d get beaten at home wooooooo for not being able to ‘behave for a couple hours’ and I was gonna make the school call child protective services.
Idk if this is why I can’t be comforted by anyone… but what am I supposed to do? My friends can’t help me. How do I help me?
I don’t have any hobbies I really care about (as a kid my hobbies were staring at the wall and playing out a really messed up plot line with my toys (when I had toys, they got thrown out when I was 11). It’s hard for me to be engaged in things, I’m always in my head and nothing is enough to distract me or keep me busy. I’m not sure how I can comfort myself since my friend’s can’t as hard as they try.
TW// CSA & suicide.
The story I’d play out was a birthday party. Everyone brought gifts for the birthday girl and everyone had so much fun. They’d play with the ‘toys’ together, on the ‘playground’ and they’d all eat giant sized play food… and then the nonce shows up and his gift is the gift of trauma (he SA’s the birthday girl, aka my stand-in) and he’s beaten up by everyone. He gets arrested and he’s so sad that everyone hates him that he hangs himself. After he does that, everyone loves him again and they feel so sad that he ‘felt like he had to take his life’ and they immediately turn on the birthday girl, they beat her up, arrest her because how dare she? It’s her fault that a man is dead… if she hadnt been born, that man would still be alive. And scene. And I just played that storyline every single time I played with and I was always so afraid dad would find out and he’d accuse me of being a pervert or something.

I’ve (26F) been with my bf (25M) for about 3 years now. He has always been I guess somewhat Facebook famous. He has like a lot girls on there mostly from his hometown and honestly it never really bothered me. For the past few months I’ve kind of hit rock bottom as far as taking care of myself after having my baby. Been a little more insecure and what not. For some reason I was noticing how he still has these girls comment on his pictures. There’s one particular who commented on his daughters (not my daughter) picture talking about “happy birthday to MY baby”. He of course responded and I can’t help but feel jealous. I’ve told him how I feel about it and he seems to just brush it off by saying you don’t need to worry about them but in my head I kind of do bc it’s like he left some doors open to her. Anyways he says he’s willing to delete all of the girls for me but I tell him that’s not the point, I just don’t see the point in still responding to their comments. Even typing this out makes me feel stupid and like a joke. He seems to always defend himself instead of trying to make me feel better. What do y’all recommend I say? Like I’m to the point where I have no words. I feel like I have a huge knot in my heart and throat bc I know damn well if it was me responding to guys I talked to in the past, he would feel somewhat disrespected. I haven’t told him about this specific girl, I just told him in general how these random ass girls are still up in his pictures. But this one is really getting under my skin.
No I don’t check his phone and the times that I did I didn’t find anything.
I need some stone cold advice. This is beyond what my mind can handle and I’ve ran out of shit to say to him. I wouldn’t consider this worth leaving him for but it probably will get to that point if something is not done.