Quotes about a deceased persons birthday
Deciding To Be Better
2012.01.01 19:38 DecidingToBeBetter Deciding To Be Better
A force for self-improvement, goodness, and togetherness that helps humanity eliminate evil. Progression is key, so if you have decided to leave the bad behind, this is the place for you.
2014.03.31 02:28 mariololftw Tokyo Ghoul
Welcome to /TokyoGhoul
2013.03.18 09:12 lehmongeloh A Place for Card Kindness
This is a place to send or receive cards for anyone who would like one. The purpose of RAoC is to spread a little bit of joy around the world. All are welcome! Please read the sidebar or Wiki/FAQ page to get started.
2024.05.19 06:12 Electronic-Job-8254 Am I the a hole for “choosing my bf over family”
I (f) just turned 17 today and my entire family is mad at me for spending the day with my bf 17(m). For some context I’ve never had a good birthday. I would always get in trouble the week of and before because my mom is irritable and I would never earn a good birthday. Celebrations would always happen without me or what I would get would be a card or a cake with foreign languages on it with mean comments. For my 15 she got a cake and in blue icing in Spanish she wrote do better and then put me on punishment for confronting her. She kicked me out a year ago to be with her boyfriend and my 9(m) brother her “perfect family” that don’t include me so I’m living with my grandma 65 and aunt 39. They don’t like my mom’s take to my birthday and how I have to earn it and how my brother always has what he wants but I can’t even be present. I’m sorry to sound like a brat but 17 years of resentment adds up. My grandmother and aunt have been preaching about how this birthday will be MY day but the allure of birthdays aren’t even there anymore for me. I got a bf almost 9 months ago and he’s been saying the entire time how for my birthday he’s going to go all out he asked them every month is he can take me out my birthday and they always say yes. I have always had restrictions put on me and they just got worse when me and him got together. I have to turn my phone in every night she checks if I’m otp with him so I can’t be and I haven’t seen him outside of school since his birthday five months ago. I ask and I get random excuses every time when they tell me no. My mom was the one who suggested that I spend my birthday with my bf and when my aunt and grandma were like yes ofc you can they were even saying that can be your birthday gift. I hadn’t asked much for my birthday everything I wanted had been turned down and so what I asked for I made sure I could get when I get told no. All I wanted to do was roller skate and get a cheap hello kitty Stanley dupe off Etsy since they said I could pick a place to go. When today rolled around and they dropped me off at his house since they also haven’t allowed me to learn to drive or get a permit I had fun at his house. He taught me madden even though it made him mad we made cookies and he took me to get chipotle. He got me a bunch of hello kitty gifts and got me a personal strawberry shortcake which is my favorite. I didn’t ask for what he did all I wanted was to play video games and get a cuddle in before I can’t see him for I don’t even know how long. I got home and everyone was mad at me my brother if visiting for the week and even he put his iPad down long enough to mean mug me . My grandmother explained to me that everyone was mad because I chose to spend my birthday with my bf. My brother honestly didn’t even know it was my birthday he asked if it was true. I asked her what she meant and she said how I had chosen my bf over spending time with them. How they had an elaborate day planned out and I didn’t want to. I tried telling her that wasn’t it I would’ve been fine with seeing him tomorrow or even a few hours but they gave me the whole day so I took it and then she said well we feel like you chose someone else over your family when you were supposed to choose us you owe this day. I was asking why they didn’t say no or give me an option or we could’ve compromise d and she said no I was supposed to choose them and be with them but now they know where my loyalties lie. When I went to my room my brother came in and asked why I didn’t choose them and I told him I’ll talk to him later so I wouldn’t get mad towards him. I’m still confused and very mad and hurt by all this but I took an opportunity when it was handed to me so am I the a hole?
submitted by Electronic-Job-8254 to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 06:10 Red_Redditor_Reddit When do you throw in the towel when it comes to life?
When do you give up?
I'm not necessarily talking like self-deletion. I just mean giving up. All the other kids I grew up with gave up on life a long time ago. They spend their days playing video games and working a shit job just enough to pay for a one bedroom apartment.
I don't blame them. Some have brain damage from what was done to them as children. They certainly have psychological damage. Hell, I think I am the first person who told them that what happened to them as children wasn't their fault. Their whole lives have been where nobody wanted them. Everyone around them secretly wished they would just disappear. I don't think anybody would cry if they did self-delete. They were abused. They were blamed for "needing" the drugs and abuse. They were blamed when the drugs and abuse didn't work. They were blamed for having brain damage. They are blamed for not being able to properly hold a job with said brain damage and anger for what was "their fault".
I was thinking about this, both the people who went through all this as well as myself. I eventually came to the conclusion that, at the end of the day, none of this really matters if it was caused externally or by some made up disorder. The consequences of these things is the reality that we live.
I wonder about my own life. I am one of like two who managed to live a somewhat normal life. I managed to get a decent enough career that pays ok. I have a few cars and a nice apartment. But every single day the past haunts me. Just yesterday I went to a small birthday gathering at a restaurant. I had trouble because of the adrenaline I was feeling while being in a noisy environment. It took me years to figure out that what happened wasn't my fault. It took me years for anybody to even acknowledge any kind of truth. It took me years for know that there was truth. Hell, it took me over a decade for anybody to even hug me.
My question is when should someone give up? I come home to an empty apartment. I wish I had a wife, but I don't think that's going to happen. I missed out on learning basic things like how to date. If I ask for help, it's like pulling teeth to get people to even understand the statement. I wish my life had value. It has value in the sense that I can donate money to something, but not in the sense that I myself am needed.
When should someone give up?
submitted by Red_Redditor_Reddit to PsychMelee [link] [comments]
I'm not necessarily talking like self-deletion. I just mean giving up. All the other kids I grew up with gave up on life a long time ago. They spend their days playing video games and working a shit job just enough to pay for a one bedroom apartment.
I don't blame them. Some have brain damage from what was done to them as children. They certainly have psychological damage. Hell, I think I am the first person who told them that what happened to them as children wasn't their fault. Their whole lives have been where nobody wanted them. Everyone around them secretly wished they would just disappear. I don't think anybody would cry if they did self-delete. They were abused. They were blamed for "needing" the drugs and abuse. They were blamed when the drugs and abuse didn't work. They were blamed for having brain damage. They are blamed for not being able to properly hold a job with said brain damage and anger for what was "their fault".
I was thinking about this, both the people who went through all this as well as myself. I eventually came to the conclusion that, at the end of the day, none of this really matters if it was caused externally or by some made up disorder. The consequences of these things is the reality that we live.
I wonder about my own life. I am one of like two who managed to live a somewhat normal life. I managed to get a decent enough career that pays ok. I have a few cars and a nice apartment. But every single day the past haunts me. Just yesterday I went to a small birthday gathering at a restaurant. I had trouble because of the adrenaline I was feeling while being in a noisy environment. It took me years to figure out that what happened wasn't my fault. It took me years for anybody to even acknowledge any kind of truth. It took me years for know that there was truth. Hell, it took me over a decade for anybody to even hug me.
My question is when should someone give up? I come home to an empty apartment. I wish I had a wife, but I don't think that's going to happen. I missed out on learning basic things like how to date. If I ask for help, it's like pulling teeth to get people to even understand the statement. I wish my life had value. It has value in the sense that I can donate money to something, but not in the sense that I myself am needed.
When should someone give up?
2024.05.19 06:07 No-Preference6624 Narcissism or Weaponized Incompetence?
As a writer, I have a conflicted relationship with commissions, but you’re here for the tea. Sorry if this is jumbled, but the client is an amalgamation of every bad commissioner that you have ever read about or that you may have worked for.
First, they ordered a writing commission, but during the first 5000 words they were surprised there was “too much” writing and reading. I told them from the start the first draft would be better off as a script so I could easily adapt into a novel, a D&D homebrew or whatever they desired. They originally had 60 PAGES of characters, but I have cut it down to 31 pages (so far). I gave them three simple ‘homework’ tasks to gather all the information I needed for the three parts of this commission. A plot summary (in bullet points) which took them four months because they insisted on writing it like a novel. The list of characters took six months (they are going back to remake EVERY character reference because it took them so long that the early references are out of date) and they fought me with every character we cut and they still haven’t sent me examples of how they want the D&D homebrew to be formatted. They say they have no idea what to look for as they knew nothing about D&D, but they blew me off for two years playing a D&D game with other friends using a D&D Beyond account ( I do not support Wizards of the Coast). For context, the bullet points took me 2 pages and 2 voice calls with the commissioner to summarize and the list of character names took 3 days and 3 voice calls to compile on Google Doc and move to Trello. What about my plan to script? He INSISTED that I, an expert in my field, should write the novel while he worked with a ‘friend’ of his on the D&D homebrew. Why would he need a script? He didn’t WANT a script.
Only a few weeks later, he ran back to me after being blown off by said ‘friend’, with the genius idea of having me write a script, novel and homebrew. His card is always empty whenever he pays for the next part of the commission because he spends it on $400 sketches and junk food. He refuses to listen when I say he doesn’t need 300+ characters. One of the stories he is plagiarizing is mine. My novel only has 27 characters (including a canine). We will be celebrating the 16 month anniversary of the commission by the time this is posted. He has nine days to finish the characters before I cancel. I’d rather live in my car again. Two hours ago he LITERALLY just made a FULL bio (in the description) with five full body outfits for a character that was deleted. He spent a month adding a shine texture to an npc's tiddies.
After making me wait for 16 months, he has the AUDACITY to get angry at me when I was offline for an emergency and I could only make one of our two commission vcs. Now he’s using the deaths of friend(s) caused by recent global tensions to ADD more characters. Why do you NEED to keep your brother’s ocs? To kill them? Delete them! This psycho has a history of making fictional versions of people who he perceives as having wronged him to kill and/or torture them graphically. Do you really need an entire MONTH? You won’t recycle two characters (that don’t belong to your brother) to fit VITAL roles but you proceed to make two random characters FROM SCRATCH that have nothing to do with those roles. Or last month I asked him for a list of 8 damage modifiers (8 digits) he replied in 12 minutes. This task previously took him an ENTIRE month because he was ‘busy’ with maps (in reality he was blowing up on a ‘friend’ who turned down his art commission on Discord and watching videos). This client is too lazy to browse with Google but he deliberately makes changes in complex organization software to disobey me. I am going to die before this torture ends! Would I be the a–hole if I put a stop to this nightmare?
It’s happening! Finished or not, the commission ends on my birthday (May 24). I am sick or getting “Okay.” every time I ask him a question about his commission.
Just when I thought I was in the clear, he drops a D&D manual of dice rolling, resting and training mechanics, skill trees and a point buy system he has NEVER mentioned predating these 16 months; all the way back to when we met (2012). He does this the week that I am “finishing” the commission. Did I mention that he has “accidently” erased the maps through his own bad habits. ARGGHH! He’s got until Monday. I don’t care if he pays me one last time. I can’t live like this.
FREEEEEEEEEEEDOM! After 16 months and two weeks.
Since I had writer’s block and another traditional art friend was suffering from art block we decided to remake some of each other's characters in our styles. The subject of this post got excited to join us. What kind of a--holes would we be if we gate kept something this trivial? I remade nine of the subject of this post's characters in my style (in two days). We both use the same program for the same amount of years, but we have developed wildly different styles. Will I ever learn? He spent the whole stream telling me their sweaters were wrong, he disliked the ribbon in one of the girl’s hair because it was too big, asking why do all of the girls have the same stockings (while wearing school uniforms) and why they do not have the exact same skin tones (despite me using the eyedroppecolour picker to show him the neon colours (one background character has eight colours in their hair) he chose in his style does not work with my duller, minimalist palette. Did you ask for me to copy your style or use my own style? After they were done, he listed all of his (multiple) issues with them like nine college essays. I can take criticism, but I had to force one compliment (one word per character) out of him. His criticisms regarded me adapting elements from the references that HE sent me. 90% was negative and 10% positive. Naturally the subject of this post still has not even thought about which character of mine he'd like to remake, but even professionals cannot unravel the web of things this person has done to avoid me even in situations when I am the center of the conversation/activity. I was unsure where to post this since this rant is a bit of most subreddits that I enjoy. Thank you for reading! I have mountains of experiences to share from freelancing and I will have many more in the future.
submitted by No-Preference6624 to EntitledPeople [link] [comments]
First, they ordered a writing commission, but during the first 5000 words they were surprised there was “too much” writing and reading. I told them from the start the first draft would be better off as a script so I could easily adapt into a novel, a D&D homebrew or whatever they desired. They originally had 60 PAGES of characters, but I have cut it down to 31 pages (so far). I gave them three simple ‘homework’ tasks to gather all the information I needed for the three parts of this commission. A plot summary (in bullet points) which took them four months because they insisted on writing it like a novel. The list of characters took six months (they are going back to remake EVERY character reference because it took them so long that the early references are out of date) and they fought me with every character we cut and they still haven’t sent me examples of how they want the D&D homebrew to be formatted. They say they have no idea what to look for as they knew nothing about D&D, but they blew me off for two years playing a D&D game with other friends using a D&D Beyond account ( I do not support Wizards of the Coast). For context, the bullet points took me 2 pages and 2 voice calls with the commissioner to summarize and the list of character names took 3 days and 3 voice calls to compile on Google Doc and move to Trello. What about my plan to script? He INSISTED that I, an expert in my field, should write the novel while he worked with a ‘friend’ of his on the D&D homebrew. Why would he need a script? He didn’t WANT a script.
Only a few weeks later, he ran back to me after being blown off by said ‘friend’, with the genius idea of having me write a script, novel and homebrew. His card is always empty whenever he pays for the next part of the commission because he spends it on $400 sketches and junk food. He refuses to listen when I say he doesn’t need 300+ characters. One of the stories he is plagiarizing is mine. My novel only has 27 characters (including a canine). We will be celebrating the 16 month anniversary of the commission by the time this is posted. He has nine days to finish the characters before I cancel. I’d rather live in my car again. Two hours ago he LITERALLY just made a FULL bio (in the description) with five full body outfits for a character that was deleted. He spent a month adding a shine texture to an npc's tiddies.
After making me wait for 16 months, he has the AUDACITY to get angry at me when I was offline for an emergency and I could only make one of our two commission vcs. Now he’s using the deaths of friend(s) caused by recent global tensions to ADD more characters. Why do you NEED to keep your brother’s ocs? To kill them? Delete them! This psycho has a history of making fictional versions of people who he perceives as having wronged him to kill and/or torture them graphically. Do you really need an entire MONTH? You won’t recycle two characters (that don’t belong to your brother) to fit VITAL roles but you proceed to make two random characters FROM SCRATCH that have nothing to do with those roles. Or last month I asked him for a list of 8 damage modifiers (8 digits) he replied in 12 minutes. This task previously took him an ENTIRE month because he was ‘busy’ with maps (in reality he was blowing up on a ‘friend’ who turned down his art commission on Discord and watching videos). This client is too lazy to browse with Google but he deliberately makes changes in complex organization software to disobey me. I am going to die before this torture ends! Would I be the a–hole if I put a stop to this nightmare?
It’s happening! Finished or not, the commission ends on my birthday (May 24). I am sick or getting “Okay.” every time I ask him a question about his commission.
Just when I thought I was in the clear, he drops a D&D manual of dice rolling, resting and training mechanics, skill trees and a point buy system he has NEVER mentioned predating these 16 months; all the way back to when we met (2012). He does this the week that I am “finishing” the commission. Did I mention that he has “accidently” erased the maps through his own bad habits. ARGGHH! He’s got until Monday. I don’t care if he pays me one last time. I can’t live like this.
FREEEEEEEEEEEDOM! After 16 months and two weeks.
Since I had writer’s block and another traditional art friend was suffering from art block we decided to remake some of each other's characters in our styles. The subject of this post got excited to join us. What kind of a--holes would we be if we gate kept something this trivial? I remade nine of the subject of this post's characters in my style (in two days). We both use the same program for the same amount of years, but we have developed wildly different styles. Will I ever learn? He spent the whole stream telling me their sweaters were wrong, he disliked the ribbon in one of the girl’s hair because it was too big, asking why do all of the girls have the same stockings (while wearing school uniforms) and why they do not have the exact same skin tones (despite me using the eyedroppecolour picker to show him the neon colours (one background character has eight colours in their hair) he chose in his style does not work with my duller, minimalist palette. Did you ask for me to copy your style or use my own style? After they were done, he listed all of his (multiple) issues with them like nine college essays. I can take criticism, but I had to force one compliment (one word per character) out of him. His criticisms regarded me adapting elements from the references that HE sent me. 90% was negative and 10% positive. Naturally the subject of this post still has not even thought about which character of mine he'd like to remake, but even professionals cannot unravel the web of things this person has done to avoid me even in situations when I am the center of the conversation/activity. I was unsure where to post this since this rant is a bit of most subreddits that I enjoy. Thank you for reading! I have mountains of experiences to share from freelancing and I will have many more in the future.
2024.05.19 06:02 Direct-Caterpillar77 His mistress made him a better husband. I feel nauseous. (New Update)
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Wide-Area-6779
His mistress made him a better husband. I feel nauseous.
Ongoing
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional infidelity, physical assault, verbal abuse, manipulation
Original Post Nov 22, 2023
This is a throwaway. I’m just nauseous and want to vent please let me do it here?
Everything changed about 3 years ago and my husband became my dream man. Before that, we suffered a lot in our marriage. After 2 hard pregnancies and PPD my libido was diminished and we fought all the time. After 4 years of dead bedroom we started therapy. I thought that was where the improvement came from.
My husband started paying attention to me. In the beginning I was panicking because whenever he paid me attention before he expected sex but now it felt like he was seeing me as a human being for the first time. He was attentive and caring. Emphatic. He touched and cuddled and kissed me out of the blue, without wanting sex in return. He started helping around the house, bringing me flowers, take out dinners when I work late, planning date nights. Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays are planned perfectly and I started getting the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts. When we fought, he would come the next day and admitted his wrongs and very accurately (if he was the one in the wrong) something he never did before. He would apologize too when back in the days him apologizing would be a blow to his ego. He said he was happy all the time and lucky to have us as his family. Everything was better and I even got my libido back if not as high as I hoped.
I found their conversation about 5 days ago and I have probably spent over 50 hours reading them. 3 years worth of conversation. He would tell her his woes and she would listen. 99 out of 100 times she sided with me. She taught him about intimacy and how important it is in marriages. The tragically funny part is that he never got angry or offended by her telling him off. Calling him silly, stubborn or at times man baby. Her honesty was brutal and yet he agreed with her. She was the one suggesting all the changes and he would ask her for advice about gifts, traveling and all the beautiful things he did for our family.
He thanks her all the time for helping him turn his miserable home life around, making it tolerable. With all these texts there were the texts between them that are about them like nobody else existed around them. The flirting, sextalk and pictures. The longing to see each other.
He says she is the love of his life every day and that he wishes their circumstances were different. She says the same. They both agree that divorce would ruin their families and that they couldn’t be that selfish. how admirable!
I feel nauseous. My happiness for the past three years was fake. I don’t know what to do. I want to hurt them. I want to expose them and I want to ruin whatever they think is perfect happiness
Hi!
I’m getting chat requests about my comments not being visible. Is this normal? I’m trying to answer you guys. Sorry
Hi again
Since I can’t comment and I can’t answer all the chats I will answer here
I am 35. My husband is 39 we have two children 9&7
She is 40 and she has one child 14. She is in a dead bedroom with her husband too and for 14 years.
The affair is physical too yes but they meet maybe once every month or every other month. She tells my husband that what they feel is probably limerence but that they don’t know it yet because they meet so little. She lives in another city
RELEVANT COMMENTS
I was here some weeks ago, with my original post. I finally decided that I really should reach out to the husband of my husband’s mistress. I found him easily and I contacted him. He didn’t believe me at first and was rude about it and told me to go f myself. I hesitated to contact him again to be honest but after a few days I realized that I would too not believe a stranger just popping in my dms accusing my SO of cheating so I recorded my husband’s phone with my phone. Especially the messages where she’s sent explicit photos and stuff. I also went to the contact to show the number. He didn’t answer me the first day then he called me the c-word and blocked me. I thought well then, I have done my part and it’s on him if he believed me or not. Then after a week my husband came home angry and he yelled at me for exposing them. He asked me why I didn’t confront him instead, my problem was with him. I have never seen him yell like this then he packed a bag and left for about a week. I think he’s traveled to her.
When he got home he said that it was over. He said that he has been trying to make me happy for years and he’s done everything a good husband would do but still, nothing was good enough for me. I’ve made him miserable for years and instead of taking it out on him, I chose to hurt a woman and her child. He moved to his parents house and now he’s renting an apartment I have heard that he travels the weeks he doesn’t have the children to be with her and that she’s moving here soon when she gets full custody of her child.
I have not been feeling well at all. He has never spoken to me directly since he left and I haven’t seen him. He adamantly refuses to talk to me. Like I never existed in his life. I don’t know what I have done to deserve this treatment. I hate that they won.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
List-and-dumbfound
This morning I got a call from my mother in law that my husband has been in jail for the past couple of days and only got out this morning but the charges weren’t dropped. Apparently his mistress and her husband had another altercation last weekend and she ended up hurt again.
Now I want full custody of my children. He is out but charges are not dropped so it will probably lead to some punishment. I don’t know if family court would count this in case I want full custody and supervised visits. My mother in law was hostile when I told her this and she’s one of the people who have supported me so I am expecting some push back. I don’t care.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
inquiryreport
Thank you so much for staying in touch and I am so sorry that I cannot answer your dms. I haven’t been active on Reddit and I have received tens of dms every day since my posts. I have been trying to adjust to life as a single mother. It is hard and especially the weeks I don’t have my children. Unfortunately, I could not convince court to give me sole custody even with my husband’s pending legal issues due to him not having any priors. He however succeeded to limit my family’s access citing parental alienation. I am not allowed my children around my family without supervision (MIL). All of this actions are temporary however until we get a court date. He is refusing to meet or talk to me for any reason besides texting about the children.
He is not in jail (for those who are asking) he has no priors so he is out. He will probably not be getting any jail time either but rather parole. Anyway, his mistress has secretly recorded some of the abuse she was getting from her husband and she has sole custody of their child now. She has moved to our city and she and her child are living with my MIL. Yes, MIL and from what I have gathered, she lives with my husband on the days I have the children.
Today I was out with my children and my friend and her children to have mother’s day brunch. I was the happiest I been for months because I got a bouquet of flowers and chocolate that is signed from my children (worlds best mom) and I knew that it was from my husband. Anyway when we arrived to the restaurant, there he was with his mistress and her child. They were celebrating mother’s day too. Her son was sitting between them and she had gift papers and flowers all around her on the table. I froze and wanted to leave but he came and apologized and said that he didn’t mean for this. She was crying and hugging her son. I wanted to faint because my children were so excited to see him and wanted to go inside and eat brunch with their dad. He told our children that it was mommy’s day then he asked me if I wanted her to leave so the children can have lunch with both of us. I just left with the children and took them to McDonald’s instead. He sent me a long text saying how sorry he was and how he wished that he loved me as much as I deserved and that he wished me to find love soon. He doesn’t regret our marriage and hope I don’t either because we got our beautiful children out of it that we need to raise and to not punish them because of what he did. Please let us not let our resentment of each other to spill out on our children. Let us promise to keep them happy and loved. Let us not use them as pawns. I asked him what I lacked that she has. A question that have been living rent free inside my head He said to stop this. This is futile. I insisted and I called him and he answered for the first time in months. I told him I wanted to know. No matter how harsh the truth was I can’t live without knowing. He said Mothing. I lacked nothing and she is not better in any way. He just loves her and loves himself when he is with her. He feels real and genuine happiness with her that he never felt in his entire life. I hang up and he texted I am sorry. This is the truth you asked for. You are not less than. You lack nothing. Please let us give our children the good life they deserve. Don’t hurt them to hurt me
I don’t know what I have done in my previous life to deserve this. The way he was with her. He never looked at me that way not even when we first met. I don’t know how to stop thinking about them. It is in my brain all day. I want full custody of my children and I will fight for it as much as I can. She will never be their step mother. Her custody is not finalized either and hopefully she will have to move back to her city so her husband can have visitation rights and she is out of my life. If my husband wants to move to be with her. My children stay with me.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP told to be careful around the husband, and asked what his mother thinks
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
submitted by Direct-Caterpillar77 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
His mistress made him a better husband. I feel nauseous.
Ongoing
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional infidelity, physical assault, verbal abuse, manipulation
Original Post Nov 22, 2023
This is a throwaway. I’m just nauseous and want to vent please let me do it here?
Everything changed about 3 years ago and my husband became my dream man. Before that, we suffered a lot in our marriage. After 2 hard pregnancies and PPD my libido was diminished and we fought all the time. After 4 years of dead bedroom we started therapy. I thought that was where the improvement came from.
My husband started paying attention to me. In the beginning I was panicking because whenever he paid me attention before he expected sex but now it felt like he was seeing me as a human being for the first time. He was attentive and caring. Emphatic. He touched and cuddled and kissed me out of the blue, without wanting sex in return. He started helping around the house, bringing me flowers, take out dinners when I work late, planning date nights. Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays are planned perfectly and I started getting the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts. When we fought, he would come the next day and admitted his wrongs and very accurately (if he was the one in the wrong) something he never did before. He would apologize too when back in the days him apologizing would be a blow to his ego. He said he was happy all the time and lucky to have us as his family. Everything was better and I even got my libido back if not as high as I hoped.
I found their conversation about 5 days ago and I have probably spent over 50 hours reading them. 3 years worth of conversation. He would tell her his woes and she would listen. 99 out of 100 times she sided with me. She taught him about intimacy and how important it is in marriages. The tragically funny part is that he never got angry or offended by her telling him off. Calling him silly, stubborn or at times man baby. Her honesty was brutal and yet he agreed with her. She was the one suggesting all the changes and he would ask her for advice about gifts, traveling and all the beautiful things he did for our family.
He thanks her all the time for helping him turn his miserable home life around, making it tolerable. With all these texts there were the texts between them that are about them like nobody else existed around them. The flirting, sextalk and pictures. The longing to see each other.
He says she is the love of his life every day and that he wishes their circumstances were different. She says the same. They both agree that divorce would ruin their families and that they couldn’t be that selfish. how admirable!
I feel nauseous. My happiness for the past three years was fake. I don’t know what to do. I want to hurt them. I want to expose them and I want to ruin whatever they think is perfect happiness
Hi!
I’m getting chat requests about my comments not being visible. Is this normal? I’m trying to answer you guys. Sorry
Hi again
Since I can’t comment and I can’t answer all the chats I will answer here
I am 35. My husband is 39 we have two children 9&7
She is 40 and she has one child 14. She is in a dead bedroom with her husband too and for 14 years.
The affair is physical too yes but they meet maybe once every month or every other month. She tells my husband that what they feel is probably limerence but that they don’t know it yet because they meet so little. She lives in another city
RELEVANT COMMENTS
So basically your cheating ex is trying to blame you for him cheating. The delusion of cheaters.OOP
You only informed the mistress's husband that she couldn't keep her legs closed to a cold breeze.
He had a right to know. Onwards and upwards.
UpdateMe
Update - My husband left me after I told his mistress’s husband about their affair. March 19, 2024He didn’t blame me for anything. He doesn’t care that he cheated. He was only angry that her husband hurt her and her child.
Maybe my post was this convoluted that everyone here is thinking he is trying to put the blame in me? He doesn’t care at all. He just thought that I should have confronted him instead because he was the one who cheated on me.
I told everyone around us what he done and he doesn’t even care
I was here some weeks ago, with my original post. I finally decided that I really should reach out to the husband of my husband’s mistress. I found him easily and I contacted him. He didn’t believe me at first and was rude about it and told me to go f myself. I hesitated to contact him again to be honest but after a few days I realized that I would too not believe a stranger just popping in my dms accusing my SO of cheating so I recorded my husband’s phone with my phone. Especially the messages where she’s sent explicit photos and stuff. I also went to the contact to show the number. He didn’t answer me the first day then he called me the c-word and blocked me. I thought well then, I have done my part and it’s on him if he believed me or not. Then after a week my husband came home angry and he yelled at me for exposing them. He asked me why I didn’t confront him instead, my problem was with him. I have never seen him yell like this then he packed a bag and left for about a week. I think he’s traveled to her.
When he got home he said that it was over. He said that he has been trying to make me happy for years and he’s done everything a good husband would do but still, nothing was good enough for me. I’ve made him miserable for years and instead of taking it out on him, I chose to hurt a woman and her child. He moved to his parents house and now he’s renting an apartment I have heard that he travels the weeks he doesn’t have the children to be with her and that she’s moving here soon when she gets full custody of her child.
I have not been feeling well at all. He has never spoken to me directly since he left and I haven’t seen him. He adamantly refuses to talk to me. Like I never existed in his life. I don’t know what I have done to deserve this treatment. I hate that they won.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
List-and-dumbfound
The last 3 years of your marriage were a lie. You know that now. Who he is the person he treated you before his affair partner had to convince him to be good to you. He is not a good person.OOP
Do they even really know each other? Like how it is to be around each other on a daily basis. They are genuinely dumb to think the list will stay with 3 kids around plus handling chores and day to day things of life. They have 2 custody battles ahead of them and divorced on top of it.
If he’s angry with you the next time you have to see him, ask him why? He got what he wanted. He wanted to be with her and now he is. So why is he angry that you gave him what you wanted.
It’s probably shame that he’s painted to be a cheater. Not he can’t manipulate the narrative and paint you as the bad person.
If what they won is each other? Let them have each other. They are both awful people so they deserve each other
DrNefariousMcFariousHe is not angry about the divorce. He is angry I told the husband instead of him because the husband hurt her and her kid
OOPHe’s not angry bc of that, he always assumed that if you found out he could gaslight you into thinking that it was somehow your fault or not happening, but by you telling the other husband, there was no getting around it.
I want full custody of my children after he went and beat up his mistress’s husband within an inch of his life and ended up in jail. Mar 22, 2024No he is angry about me putting his AP in danger.. he gives zero fucks about staying in our marriage or not. He only was with me to help raise the children and probably wait for her to get rid of her husband. I am not trying to he dramatic here but the soon I realize the truth the better is is for me to move on I think
This morning I got a call from my mother in law that my husband has been in jail for the past couple of days and only got out this morning but the charges weren’t dropped. Apparently his mistress and her husband had another altercation last weekend and she ended up hurt again.
Now I want full custody of my children. He is out but charges are not dropped so it will probably lead to some punishment. I don’t know if family court would count this in case I want full custody and supervised visits. My mother in law was hostile when I told her this and she’s one of the people who have supported me so I am expecting some push back. I don’t care.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
inquiryreport
You probably should not have let your MIL in on this idea. Her first reaction is going to be that it will threaten her ability to see the grand kids and her son’s ability to be a father. Even if you think she is on your team have to assume she isn’t.OOP
Yeah it was a big mistake
NEW UPDATE
Thank you so much for staying in touch and I am so sorry that I cannot answer your dms. I haven’t been active on Reddit and I have received tens of dms every day since my posts. I have been trying to adjust to life as a single mother. It is hard and especially the weeks I don’t have my children. Unfortunately, I could not convince court to give me sole custody even with my husband’s pending legal issues due to him not having any priors. He however succeeded to limit my family’s access citing parental alienation. I am not allowed my children around my family without supervision (MIL). All of this actions are temporary however until we get a court date. He is refusing to meet or talk to me for any reason besides texting about the children.
He is not in jail (for those who are asking) he has no priors so he is out. He will probably not be getting any jail time either but rather parole. Anyway, his mistress has secretly recorded some of the abuse she was getting from her husband and she has sole custody of their child now. She has moved to our city and she and her child are living with my MIL. Yes, MIL and from what I have gathered, she lives with my husband on the days I have the children.
Today I was out with my children and my friend and her children to have mother’s day brunch. I was the happiest I been for months because I got a bouquet of flowers and chocolate that is signed from my children (worlds best mom) and I knew that it was from my husband. Anyway when we arrived to the restaurant, there he was with his mistress and her child. They were celebrating mother’s day too. Her son was sitting between them and she had gift papers and flowers all around her on the table. I froze and wanted to leave but he came and apologized and said that he didn’t mean for this. She was crying and hugging her son. I wanted to faint because my children were so excited to see him and wanted to go inside and eat brunch with their dad. He told our children that it was mommy’s day then he asked me if I wanted her to leave so the children can have lunch with both of us. I just left with the children and took them to McDonald’s instead. He sent me a long text saying how sorry he was and how he wished that he loved me as much as I deserved and that he wished me to find love soon. He doesn’t regret our marriage and hope I don’t either because we got our beautiful children out of it that we need to raise and to not punish them because of what he did. Please let us not let our resentment of each other to spill out on our children. Let us promise to keep them happy and loved. Let us not use them as pawns. I asked him what I lacked that she has. A question that have been living rent free inside my head He said to stop this. This is futile. I insisted and I called him and he answered for the first time in months. I told him I wanted to know. No matter how harsh the truth was I can’t live without knowing. He said Mothing. I lacked nothing and she is not better in any way. He just loves her and loves himself when he is with her. He feels real and genuine happiness with her that he never felt in his entire life. I hang up and he texted I am sorry. This is the truth you asked for. You are not less than. You lack nothing. Please let us give our children the good life they deserve. Don’t hurt them to hurt me
I don’t know what I have done in my previous life to deserve this. The way he was with her. He never looked at me that way not even when we first met. I don’t know how to stop thinking about them. It is in my brain all day. I want full custody of my children and I will fight for it as much as I can. She will never be their step mother. Her custody is not finalized either and hopefully she will have to move back to her city so her husband can have visitation rights and she is out of my life. If my husband wants to move to be with her. My children stay with me.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP told to be careful around the husband, and asked what his mother thinks
Well I am not stupid and he can record me all he wants because I was very calm and I genuinely agree that the children come first. Even her child tbh. But I know that she only had emergency custody of hers because of the assault but I know the rules here and she will probably need to move back soon because her husband has right to meet his son. In that case my husband can move away but he can’t have custody because I want a stable home for them. I don’t know why I am getting hate in my dms calling me vindictive.OOP When told to be careful what she puts in text messages and once again be weary of the mistress
I am very grateful to you and others who are mentioning that she is coaching him to say things. Of course! How stupid was I not to figure this out. From not talking to me for a second to being all nice and begging me to forgive him and to keep it amicable? Of course it is her. Even mother’s day flowers was probably from her.
MIL is very devastated about what happened and she visits me every day even when the children aren’t home. She said that she had to take her in until she gets her own place. No she is not allowed to meet the children and it is already decided and MIL is making sure this is not the case. I understand that MIL chooses her son but she hasn’t given up on me.
I have talked a lot with mom about what happened and no she doesn’t feel guilty. She said that it was different (of course it is🙄) hers was real love and dad’s ex was very abusive. I don’t know, I don’t believe in karma or anything but she said that she at least understands now how dad’s ex felt. I feel anger because some people win and some lose and I still love him very much. I regret exposing what happened. At least I could have had 4 more years together. And the children would have been a bit older. I regret so much things that I have done in a moment of grief and anger
Thanks. I have been very careful about texting because as I am keeping all the evidence, I am counting on him doing that too. About his mistress, it is less “evil” than that because I was wrong about her recording the abuse. She stole the surveillance her husband had installed around their house to spy on her. MIL told me this today. She is probably hoping for full custody but I know the rules here and he will have right to see his son no matter so the c-word will have to move back sooner or later.THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
Only them I will be asking for full custody if my husband moves with her to her city because I don’t want a part time father to my children who shows up whenever he pleases. I want stability. He is either a father or not
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
2024.05.19 06:02 karenvideoeditor The Zoo [Part 8]
First / Previous
Suzanne thought it was absolutely brilliant of me to put books on a flash drive for Sun. She explained that Sun wasn’t as sophant (her word, not mine) as she might seem, more of a repository of information, but she was fairly intelligent. It was how she was able to connect Andrew being in pain to the fact that I was friends with Andrew, and that I would want to know that he was in trouble. Apparently some of Sun’s species had given some ‘wisdom’ to others in the past and it had made its way into mythology.
The key fact was that she was not smart enough to protect herself and her kind from the clever, organized poachers. With that information in mind, it was fascinating for me to think of how Sun took in and organized what she learned. It was almost as if she was a walking, talking library.
On the topic of tours, my first one went wonderfully, and I’m almost hoping Suzanne lets me do more of them. I know not all the tourists are going to be as awesome as these people were, but Suzanne gave me a lot of slack when it comes to dealing with them. She actually said that being a smartass is not grounds for dismissal, and that if I’m sarcastic or facetious to guests who are being ‘daft’ and they complain, she really doesn’t care. Is this the perfect job for me or what?
There were four guests in this party, two adults who were sisters and two children of one of the women, brothers aged thirteen and seventeen. The tour was a birthday gift for the older of the boys from his aunt, since apparently he was passionate about animal protection and conservation.
When they arrived at the front gate, I was sitting at Andrew’s desk, going over the booklet of information one last time. When the visitors pressed the button that sounded the alert buzzer, I tucked away in a drawer and let them in. I did have a cheat sheet with information about the animals on my phone just in case, a brief notation of each of them and which enclosure they were in, but I really didn’t need to use it.
Exiting through the front door, I saw them walk up the path toward me. “Hi, I’m Ripley,” I said, holding out a hand toward the woman closest to me.
She shook it firmly. “I’m Denise. This is my sister Carla and my nephews, Wesley and Jason,” she said, motioning to each of them in turn.
“I heard it’s your birthday,” I said to Wesley, giving him a smile. “You’re interested in animal conversation?”
“Back where we live, yeah,” he said, nodding. “The animals that you’ve got here are incredible. I can’t wait to see them.”
“Well, I can’t wait to show them to you,” I said. “Right this way.”
I led them on the path around the building, toward enclosure one. Despite the horrific memories of the animal killing Stanley’s friends, I knew it was just an animal, and I had to push past my feelings on what had happened. Keeping a small smile on my face, I motioned to the enclosure. “Fiercely territorial and amazing hunters, despite their large size, they’re arboreal and known to dart from tree to tree with barely a sound. This is one of only about two thousand left in existence.”
“Two thousand, three hundred and fifty six at last count,” spoke Wesley, his eyes on the trees.
I blinked, surprised and impressed. “Well that was fantastic. Do you plan on stealing my job when you graduate?”
Wesley looked at me with a grin. “Nah, everyone knows Suzanne only offers humans this gig. And I want to help animals like this one get off the endangered species list. The zoos are great for awareness and fundraising, but then the money has to go somewhere. I want to be doing the real work.”
“That’s really great,” I told him. “I wish you all the best in that career path.” At that, we saw the animal climb down from the tree, wandering a few yards from the tree line. This was because 90% of the time, when humans were at their enclosure and making noise, whether it was speaking to each other or calling out to the animal, it was someone bringing them prey to eat. Or, in my case, enrichment toys to play with.
“Whoa,” Wesley whispered.
“How close can we get?” spoke up Jason.
“The warding starts at the fence,” I told him with a small gesture. “So, just there.”
Both boys wandered closer and I glanced at their parents. It seemed that Suzanne’s zoo had a serious reputation for high quality invisible walls, because they didn’t look worried in the slightest about the boys being hurt or killed.
“They prefer dense forest as their home and have been known to make their nests in trees up to twenty meter in the air,” I continued. “And when hunting, they’ve been seen dropping eight meters straight down. They have incredibly dense yet flexible musculature, which allows them to tackle their prey without injuring themselves.”
There was more information about the animal that I continued to rattle off, though Wesley chimed in at certain points with the info I was about to convey. That was highly entertaining and very cool. When I’d been in school, I’d never met anyone who had my level of passion about endangered animals. I wondered if things were better where these folks came from, but realized that considering there were so few of these animals left, I guessed not.
The animal paced a little bit, seemingly waiting to see if we were the kind of humans that came bearing food, before deciding we weren’t and climbing back up into the trees as easily as I would climb some stairs.
As we moved onto enclosure two, Jason spoke up. “Are there any animals here we can touch or feed or something?”
I sighed inwardly before slowing to a stop. “Well, can you show me your hands?” Jason looked bemused, holding out his hands. “I mean…they both look like they’re in great shape. You can stand to lose one.”
The two women chuckled and Wesley smirked as Jason shoved his hands into his pockets. “Very funny.”
Grinning, I started walking again. “The animals here are all carnivores and all predators. You get to see them, but that’s it.”
“Alright.”
When we reached enclosure two, I started on my next spiel. “We’ve got three reanimated dead in this enclosure,” I spoke. They were just coming out from the trees as we arrived, presumably having heard our approach. “Marissa, Connor, and Bradley. They were donated by families who knew where they would be exhibited. Their next of kin, whoever they are, can’t stand the idea of putting them down. But we need to make sure they don’t have access to corpses, because one of them plus one corpse equals two of them.”
“They eat flesh though, don’t they?” Wesley asked.
I nodded. “Oh, yeah, but it’s from bodies that have already been dismembered. There’s no chance of them being affected by the transformation because it’s all parts.”
“Oh, got it.”
The creatures with blueish-white skin had superhuman strength, which is why they qualified for the security of Suzanne’s zoo. They also were likely the source of any Earth tales of people being brought back to life as zombies, specifically draugr, according to my research. They smelled like rotting flesh, so even as I kept talking about them and giving a background to the people they used to be, we were quick to move on once Wesley had gotten a good, long look at them.
“Enclosure four’s animal is a vampiric spirit. He’s a small, hairy humanoid creature with pointed ears. He wears a hat, and if he somehow loses it, he freaks out,” I said.
“They eat horses,” Wesley noted. “Also anything that gives them the chance to sit on it, usually catching them by surprise while they’re sleeping.”
The creature came out from the brush, giving us a suspicious look. He wasn’t in his humanoid form though; for some reason, he’d chosen to shapeshift to a dog.
I nodded. “Yep, indeed. Once the prey is dead, then he’ll eat it, and he has a voracious appetite. We have two wolves and two bears in the forest, which is one of the reasons I’ve got some self-defense items,” I said, patting my belt where my pepper spray (rated for bear) and my taser. “But the wards keep them out of this area of the zoo, so it’s really not much of a worry. It’s also a known shapeshifter, preferring the form of a dog, as you can see, as well as a cat, a snake, or even white butterflies, though the last one is rare.”
“The white butterflies are supposed to be a sign of good luck,” Wesley said, glancing to me. “Too bad we got the dog.”
“Yeah, otherwise you might be able to talk your mom into getting scratch-offs on your way home, huh?”
Wesley smirked at me.
The next enclosure was Spike, and he was waiting for us, dripping wet from having just emerged from the lake. I gave the introductory information about him, which included his propensity for eating animal eyes, nails, and teeth. “Recently, I’ve given him some enrichment activities, and I learned he likes artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts,” I said, taking a bag out from my cargo shorts. “Wesley, do you want to toss this bag into the enclosure?”
The boy’s eyes widened and he nodded excitedly. He took a look into the paper bag before wrapping down the top to make sure nothing would fly out. Then he chucked it underhand past the fence. It landed a few yards from Spike, who waddled over to it quickly and tearing the bag open, spilling out the prizes inside. As the animal ate the pecans and hazelnuts, Wesley asked, “How’d you figure out he likes those?”
“It’s not all about taste,” I told him. “It’s mainly the difficulty of getting them out of the shells. He’s used to having to work for the parts of his prey he likes the most, so this mimics that activity, and he enjoys the process. I tried a bunch of different foods to find a few he liked.”
“Cool,” Wesley murmured, staring at him.
We watched Spike eat until he’d finished and then he went back into the woods, leaving us to move onto enclosure five. Japanese camellia were plentiful here, a type of pink flower, and that was because they grew anywhere near one of his species made their den. “This girl spends most of her time in the lake also,” I said, as the creature made its way toward the fence separating us from it. “But as you can see, she’s just as curious as the rest about what we’re doing here and whether we have food for her. She eats fish mostly, but she also regularly gets live prey.”
This creature was a spider-like monster, having six legs with long claws on each, and the head of an ox with two sharp horns. She was capable of shapeshifting to look like a human, but I guessed that she wasn’t fond of it, since I hadn’t yet seen her in that form.
“She prefers the easy way of catching prey, so to speak, by hiding in the lake and pouncing when something comes for a drink of water,” I explained. “Apparently humans are some of her favorite prey. She has an advantage of being able to spit poison, which often hits her prey in the eyes. But it’s usually used in defense rather than offense, since it secretes a limited amount.”
“What kind of animal would even go after something like this?” Jason asked, staring at her.
“Never discount one of its own species when you’re thinking about what might attack an animal,” I replied. “There are places that are breeding all of the animals here, but competition for mates is common. That means an advantage in a fight, like poison or venom, can make or break who the winner is.”
“Ah, gotcha.”
“It can’t spit past the warding, right?” Carla suddenly asked.
“Oh, no,” I assured her. “We’re fine. The wards wouldn’t let anything cross over.” She nodded, appeased.
The animal in enclosure six was the ginormous seal-hippo, Fiona, and she was looking at us as if she was imagining sprinkling us with herbs and spices and stuffing us in an oven. “This girl is one animal I’m going to work on enrichment activities for next,” I told them. “She prefers to feed on crayfish, though she’s happy to eat any humans that wander into her territory. She’ll even make a sound like a baby crying to reel us in. I’ve heard it a bunch of times.”
“Can you get her to make the sound?” Jason asked, perking up.
I grinned. “Not on command, sorry.”
“What enrichment are you thinking of trying?” Wesley asked.
“Possibly food placed in puzzle feeders,” I told him, “since she has claws that are pretty dexterous. Maybe a piñata made out of newspaper with flour inside, or a scarecrow that mimics a human.”
“Awesome,” he muttered.
After a little more educational tidbits, we moved onto Yui’s enclosure. “What is that?” Wesley asked, smiling.
“I got Yui the closest thing I could to a ping-pong ball,” I replied. “She quite likes it.”
“That’s so funny,” he said as she came out of the trees in her spider form. “I mean, the idea of her being a bloodthirsty hunter who seduces men to their deaths and eats them alive, but then on the other hand, she likes playing with something like this.”
“It is a little funny,” I agreed. “But when it comes down to it, all the animals here enjoy activities besides hunting.”
“She can shapeshift to look human, right?” asked Jason, trying to be casual about knowing something factual like his nerdy brother.
I nodded. “She looks like a woman from a region of Earth called Japan. And she’ll use strategies like holding out a hand to shake to get you closer. She tried that on me when I first got here but, as you can see,” I said, holding up my hands and waving them, “I didn’t fall for it.”
The boys both laughed as they got closer to the fence, watching her slowly pace near the trees.
Next was Sun, but she didn’t make an appearance as I spoke about her species. “Well…unfortunately we can’t guarantee that every animal comes out to say hi,” I sighed. “But…oh wait, here she is.”
The green lion with several horns and many eyes along her flank came out from the forest. “Hello,” she spoke.
“Hi, Sun,” I replied. “We have visitors.”
“What’s that?” Wesley asked suddenly, pointing at the small plastic bag that was still where I’d left it.
“Oh! That is Sun’s enrichment,” I said with a smile. “I put dozens of books on a flash drive and found that she can read them just like she’d read a shelf of books.”
Wesley’s eyes widened. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve read about anyone trying that before. That’s really cool.”
“The books are new and interesting,” Sun spoke, drawing our attention. “I’m grateful for them.”
I nodded to her. “You’re quite welcome.”
The next animal, unfortunately, wasn’t there, and we waited around for ten minutes as we discussed him. He was large and reptile-like with red eyes, with its hind legs and tail making him look vaguely like a kangaroo. Then, enclosure ten was a terrifyingly disturbing creature, the not-a-centaur with no skin, that I’d only seen a few times while walking my route. It gave a good demonstration of its ferocity, showing its sharp teeth and snapping at us a few times.
“I’m thinking of trying salt licks and other horse enrichment like a big bouncy ball,” I told Wesley, whose eyebrows went up at that. “Maybe give him more things to forage like scattered grains or a box filled with pinecones and seeds. Foraging is a huge part of a horse’s life in the wild, and humans have to do a lot of activities like that to keep pet horses busy. Of course, he also loves the little salt-water lake that was built for him.”
We spent some time looking at the animal before moving past our last stop, the empty enclosure of the animal was stolen. Carla glanced at me with a sad smile, knowing what had happened, it seemed. I gave her a nod as we continued on our way, walking into the office. “So, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves!” I said with a smile.
“That was the coolest birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” Wesley said, looking to Denise. “Thanks so much, seriously.”
“It was my pleasure,” she said with a nod. “I’d never been here before, and knew I’d find it fascinating. Thank you for the educational aspect,” Denise said, glancing at me. “I learned quite a lot.”
“Happy to hear it,” I said, returning the nod.
As I escorted the guests out of the zoo and locked the door behind them, I reflected on how much I’d changed. The first time I’d seen Yui’s tarantula form, I’d nearly passed out from fear. Now here I was, walking tourists around like it was no big deal. Humans really can adapt to anything, it seems.
That afternoon, Suzanne had texted me that she was coming by after my shift, and I met her in Andrew’s office, shutting the door to the security room behind me. “How’s Andrew?” I asked first thing.
“He’s doing well,” she said with a wide smile. “Back on non-hospital food. He’s allowed to order food on his phone, and to hear it from him, that’s the best news he’d received in a long time.”
I chuckled. “I guess some clichés are true for a reason.”
“Indeed.” She took a breath. “All right. Ripley…I would like to discuss something with you.”
My face went slack at the serious tone in her voice. “I’m not… Am I being fired?”
“What? No!” she exclaimed. Then she chuckled softly. “No, it’s nothing like that. Just, here, let’s have a seat.” Suzanne walked over to the couch and sat at one end, and I took the other. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I’ve kept from you, that I wanted to keep from you until you found your sea legs here.”
“Well…I have,” I said with a nod. “So, what is it?”
Suzanne took a breath. “I knew your mother.”
The words hung in the air for a moment before making their way to my ears. It was a perfectly logical sentence, and yet it didn’t make any sense. “What?” I finally managed.
“When you graduated college, I decided to move the zoo from Italy to within driving distance of your home,” she said softly. “Near enough to your town that you’d see the advert. We ignored any other applicants and I hoped you’d apply. Actually, I expected you’d apply. Not just for the money, but considering the field you wanted to go into. As soon as I’d found out your major, I knew.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, holding up a hand. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “How do you know Patricia?”
“She owned the zoo before I did,” Susan explained. “Fourteen years ago…she was working to track an injured animal that we could bring into the zoo and she was killed by poachers.”
My heart calcified in my chest and a lump lodged in my throat. As my breaths became shaky, I stared at her in shock. “She…she’s really dead?”
“You suspected?” she asked softly.
“It…” I swallowed hard. “We had her declared legally dead after…I don’t know, seven years I think. My dad wanted to go after her for child support, but the police said…they said they couldn’t find…” Tears came to my eyes and I blinked them back before I met Suzanne’s gaze. “She owned the zoo?”
Suzanne nodded. “It was her baby, you’d say. When Patricia passed, I inherited it, which we’d discussed beforehand, a legal just-in-case that I never expected her to need. I’m under the impression that you were told she went to Africa for her photography career, but she was in fact going to remote areas back in my home world almost every time.”
“But I-I saw the photos,” I said, my eyes narrowing. “You’re telling me she put on a show of getting pictures that someone else took for us to see every time she visited? Did my dad even know?”
“I suppose that’s an accurate way to put it, putting on a show. And no, your father was never told. It’s not the way of things to tell humans unless it’s necessary. I won’t bore you with the details, but us and humans, we’re distant relatives, so we can still have children. But it wasn’t planned. Your mother fell in love with your father despite herself; she hadn’t meant to find love. Then she became pregnant with you and…well, the rest is history.”
“I think she had a different definition of love than the one I have,” I said tightly. “You’d think she’d have put her survival as more of a priority. Put being with the man she ‘loved’ as a priority. Her kids needed her. I needed her. She signed up when she became a mom. She could’ve screwed up all the time but she couldn’t even manage that one job: be there. When I was in the hospital, I kept thinking, ‘Where is she?’ and now you’re telling me that she put these animals above being there for her kids, and this whole time she’s been dead.”
“The hospital?” she asked, furrowing her brows.
“Never mind,” I said tersely, averting my gaze.
Suzanne hesitated before she nodded slowly. “I’m sorry for your loss, and not just for her death, Ripley,” she told me. “Patricia was…well, a ‘free spirit’ would be putting it gently. She always assumed the world would be there for her whenever she needed it.”
Staring at her for a long moment, I shook my head. “Why? Why come here and hire me?”
“I thought that would be obvious,” she said, smiling. “Your mother was so passionate about this place and once I found out your college major, I figured you would be as well.”
“Did you know that I hate her?” At that, Suzanne’s expression froze on the edge of shock. “She…she left us,” I whispered. “Didn’t tell us who she was or what she really did for a living and gave us no closure. And even when she was here, it was just visiting. Her real home was her work. She could give me all the presents she wanted, but even when she was here, half the time she was still on her computer doing work. It’s not like that stereotype of never making it to my tennis practice or something; it’s that it always felt like she was only partially here, even when I was sitting next to her. I don’t even know if I appreciate her turning me into a wildlife fanatic because it…it…makes me feel like I’m close to her in a way that’s just infuriating. She loved the animals more than she loved us.”
“Oh, Ripley-”
“Don’t,” I said, shoving myself to my feet. “Don’t try to convince me otherwise.”
“I wasn’t going to,” she said quietly. I pursed my lips. “I was going to say that I’m sorry that was the case. Your mother was…flawed, just like any other person. She had two loves in this world: her family and her work. And often, her work overcame her, her zeal for environmentalism getting in the way of being a good mum. She left your father trying to fill the role of two parents, holding your family together. You and your brother and your father, you all deserved better than that.”
My lower lip quivered but I bit down on it hard. It would’ve been a lot easier for me if she’d been speaking from a place of clueless reassurance about all this. But everything she said was making sense and that meant I didn’t have someone in front of me to be angry with.
“Why didn’t you tell me when Andrew hired me?” I sighed, sitting back down on the couch.
“Well, like I said, I wanted you to find your sea legs,” she said with a small smile. “I didn’t want the truth affecting whether or not you wanted to work here, whether you wanted to stay here after finding out about what the animals are. It would’ve complicated things, the emotions you’ll have to work through now that you know the truth. Whether or not you decide to give another tour, you also know what they’re like. That’s the benchmark I wanted you to reach before you found out about who you are.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Who I-” My face went slack. “Wait.”
Suzanne nodded slowly. “You’re only half human. Your brother too.”
The room seemed to tilt on an axis for a moment. “That means I’m also half…what?”
“We call ourselves Eldritch, these days,” she replied.
My eyes bugged out. “What?” I exclaimed. “So you’re all, like, gods or something?”
Suzanne burst out laughing. “Oh no, goodness, no,” she chuckled. “It’s just a word. We live in a very different world from this one, and a few generations ago we discovered the word and it made its way into our lexicon. But it does mean you can see all the animals. Indeed you did, on the tour you gave.”
“Wait, no, I had the glasses that…” I stopped. “Did those glasses do anything?”
She gave a sly smile and shook her head. “Not a thing. You made incredibly quick progress, and then when it came time for the tour, all you needed was to expect to see the animals, and you did.”
Genetics. That’s what Andrew had said during our interview, that part of how many animals you could see was determined by genetics. I guess having a mother who was originally from the other dimension gave me all the genes I needed to see everything here. “Could I…visit your world?” I asked tentatively. “You said that my mom took photos of the animals there. Could I…” My voice trailed off, not even sure if or how I wanted to finish that sentence.
“Those who are half human, especially those who are raised on Earth, don’t come visit,” she said gently. “I could show you some photos of other animals, and I could loan you as many books as you’d like, but it’s simply not a place where you’d be safe.”
“Oh,” I said, leaning into the couch cushion as I pictured the animals in the zoo. “Yeah, actually that…makes sense.” I paused. “So, what now?”
“It’s up to you,” she said. “I wanted to wait until I was sure you were comfortable with your position here, and then put the ball in your court. And so it is. What do you want to do now?”
What did I want to do? It wasn’t that difficult a question, just a deep, serious one.
I wanted to thrive, as the animals did. This is my enrichment now, working at an incredible, wonderful, terrifying zoo. The experience so far hasn’t been perfect, and I know there are risks, but life isn’t about staying safe. It’s about learning new things and making a difference in the world. And, if you’re lucky, having a job that’s something really special.
THE END
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Suzanne thought it was absolutely brilliant of me to put books on a flash drive for Sun. She explained that Sun wasn’t as sophant (her word, not mine) as she might seem, more of a repository of information, but she was fairly intelligent. It was how she was able to connect Andrew being in pain to the fact that I was friends with Andrew, and that I would want to know that he was in trouble. Apparently some of Sun’s species had given some ‘wisdom’ to others in the past and it had made its way into mythology.
The key fact was that she was not smart enough to protect herself and her kind from the clever, organized poachers. With that information in mind, it was fascinating for me to think of how Sun took in and organized what she learned. It was almost as if she was a walking, talking library.
On the topic of tours, my first one went wonderfully, and I’m almost hoping Suzanne lets me do more of them. I know not all the tourists are going to be as awesome as these people were, but Suzanne gave me a lot of slack when it comes to dealing with them. She actually said that being a smartass is not grounds for dismissal, and that if I’m sarcastic or facetious to guests who are being ‘daft’ and they complain, she really doesn’t care. Is this the perfect job for me or what?
There were four guests in this party, two adults who were sisters and two children of one of the women, brothers aged thirteen and seventeen. The tour was a birthday gift for the older of the boys from his aunt, since apparently he was passionate about animal protection and conservation.
When they arrived at the front gate, I was sitting at Andrew’s desk, going over the booklet of information one last time. When the visitors pressed the button that sounded the alert buzzer, I tucked away in a drawer and let them in. I did have a cheat sheet with information about the animals on my phone just in case, a brief notation of each of them and which enclosure they were in, but I really didn’t need to use it.
Exiting through the front door, I saw them walk up the path toward me. “Hi, I’m Ripley,” I said, holding out a hand toward the woman closest to me.
She shook it firmly. “I’m Denise. This is my sister Carla and my nephews, Wesley and Jason,” she said, motioning to each of them in turn.
“I heard it’s your birthday,” I said to Wesley, giving him a smile. “You’re interested in animal conversation?”
“Back where we live, yeah,” he said, nodding. “The animals that you’ve got here are incredible. I can’t wait to see them.”
“Well, I can’t wait to show them to you,” I said. “Right this way.”
I led them on the path around the building, toward enclosure one. Despite the horrific memories of the animal killing Stanley’s friends, I knew it was just an animal, and I had to push past my feelings on what had happened. Keeping a small smile on my face, I motioned to the enclosure. “Fiercely territorial and amazing hunters, despite their large size, they’re arboreal and known to dart from tree to tree with barely a sound. This is one of only about two thousand left in existence.”
“Two thousand, three hundred and fifty six at last count,” spoke Wesley, his eyes on the trees.
I blinked, surprised and impressed. “Well that was fantastic. Do you plan on stealing my job when you graduate?”
Wesley looked at me with a grin. “Nah, everyone knows Suzanne only offers humans this gig. And I want to help animals like this one get off the endangered species list. The zoos are great for awareness and fundraising, but then the money has to go somewhere. I want to be doing the real work.”
“That’s really great,” I told him. “I wish you all the best in that career path.” At that, we saw the animal climb down from the tree, wandering a few yards from the tree line. This was because 90% of the time, when humans were at their enclosure and making noise, whether it was speaking to each other or calling out to the animal, it was someone bringing them prey to eat. Or, in my case, enrichment toys to play with.
“Whoa,” Wesley whispered.
“How close can we get?” spoke up Jason.
“The warding starts at the fence,” I told him with a small gesture. “So, just there.”
Both boys wandered closer and I glanced at their parents. It seemed that Suzanne’s zoo had a serious reputation for high quality invisible walls, because they didn’t look worried in the slightest about the boys being hurt or killed.
“They prefer dense forest as their home and have been known to make their nests in trees up to twenty meter in the air,” I continued. “And when hunting, they’ve been seen dropping eight meters straight down. They have incredibly dense yet flexible musculature, which allows them to tackle their prey without injuring themselves.”
There was more information about the animal that I continued to rattle off, though Wesley chimed in at certain points with the info I was about to convey. That was highly entertaining and very cool. When I’d been in school, I’d never met anyone who had my level of passion about endangered animals. I wondered if things were better where these folks came from, but realized that considering there were so few of these animals left, I guessed not.
The animal paced a little bit, seemingly waiting to see if we were the kind of humans that came bearing food, before deciding we weren’t and climbing back up into the trees as easily as I would climb some stairs.
As we moved onto enclosure two, Jason spoke up. “Are there any animals here we can touch or feed or something?”
I sighed inwardly before slowing to a stop. “Well, can you show me your hands?” Jason looked bemused, holding out his hands. “I mean…they both look like they’re in great shape. You can stand to lose one.”
The two women chuckled and Wesley smirked as Jason shoved his hands into his pockets. “Very funny.”
Grinning, I started walking again. “The animals here are all carnivores and all predators. You get to see them, but that’s it.”
“Alright.”
When we reached enclosure two, I started on my next spiel. “We’ve got three reanimated dead in this enclosure,” I spoke. They were just coming out from the trees as we arrived, presumably having heard our approach. “Marissa, Connor, and Bradley. They were donated by families who knew where they would be exhibited. Their next of kin, whoever they are, can’t stand the idea of putting them down. But we need to make sure they don’t have access to corpses, because one of them plus one corpse equals two of them.”
“They eat flesh though, don’t they?” Wesley asked.
I nodded. “Oh, yeah, but it’s from bodies that have already been dismembered. There’s no chance of them being affected by the transformation because it’s all parts.”
“Oh, got it.”
The creatures with blueish-white skin had superhuman strength, which is why they qualified for the security of Suzanne’s zoo. They also were likely the source of any Earth tales of people being brought back to life as zombies, specifically draugr, according to my research. They smelled like rotting flesh, so even as I kept talking about them and giving a background to the people they used to be, we were quick to move on once Wesley had gotten a good, long look at them.
“Enclosure four’s animal is a vampiric spirit. He’s a small, hairy humanoid creature with pointed ears. He wears a hat, and if he somehow loses it, he freaks out,” I said.
“They eat horses,” Wesley noted. “Also anything that gives them the chance to sit on it, usually catching them by surprise while they’re sleeping.”
The creature came out from the brush, giving us a suspicious look. He wasn’t in his humanoid form though; for some reason, he’d chosen to shapeshift to a dog.
I nodded. “Yep, indeed. Once the prey is dead, then he’ll eat it, and he has a voracious appetite. We have two wolves and two bears in the forest, which is one of the reasons I’ve got some self-defense items,” I said, patting my belt where my pepper spray (rated for bear) and my taser. “But the wards keep them out of this area of the zoo, so it’s really not much of a worry. It’s also a known shapeshifter, preferring the form of a dog, as you can see, as well as a cat, a snake, or even white butterflies, though the last one is rare.”
“The white butterflies are supposed to be a sign of good luck,” Wesley said, glancing to me. “Too bad we got the dog.”
“Yeah, otherwise you might be able to talk your mom into getting scratch-offs on your way home, huh?”
Wesley smirked at me.
The next enclosure was Spike, and he was waiting for us, dripping wet from having just emerged from the lake. I gave the introductory information about him, which included his propensity for eating animal eyes, nails, and teeth. “Recently, I’ve given him some enrichment activities, and I learned he likes artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts,” I said, taking a bag out from my cargo shorts. “Wesley, do you want to toss this bag into the enclosure?”
The boy’s eyes widened and he nodded excitedly. He took a look into the paper bag before wrapping down the top to make sure nothing would fly out. Then he chucked it underhand past the fence. It landed a few yards from Spike, who waddled over to it quickly and tearing the bag open, spilling out the prizes inside. As the animal ate the pecans and hazelnuts, Wesley asked, “How’d you figure out he likes those?”
“It’s not all about taste,” I told him. “It’s mainly the difficulty of getting them out of the shells. He’s used to having to work for the parts of his prey he likes the most, so this mimics that activity, and he enjoys the process. I tried a bunch of different foods to find a few he liked.”
“Cool,” Wesley murmured, staring at him.
We watched Spike eat until he’d finished and then he went back into the woods, leaving us to move onto enclosure five. Japanese camellia were plentiful here, a type of pink flower, and that was because they grew anywhere near one of his species made their den. “This girl spends most of her time in the lake also,” I said, as the creature made its way toward the fence separating us from it. “But as you can see, she’s just as curious as the rest about what we’re doing here and whether we have food for her. She eats fish mostly, but she also regularly gets live prey.”
This creature was a spider-like monster, having six legs with long claws on each, and the head of an ox with two sharp horns. She was capable of shapeshifting to look like a human, but I guessed that she wasn’t fond of it, since I hadn’t yet seen her in that form.
“She prefers the easy way of catching prey, so to speak, by hiding in the lake and pouncing when something comes for a drink of water,” I explained. “Apparently humans are some of her favorite prey. She has an advantage of being able to spit poison, which often hits her prey in the eyes. But it’s usually used in defense rather than offense, since it secretes a limited amount.”
“What kind of animal would even go after something like this?” Jason asked, staring at her.
“Never discount one of its own species when you’re thinking about what might attack an animal,” I replied. “There are places that are breeding all of the animals here, but competition for mates is common. That means an advantage in a fight, like poison or venom, can make or break who the winner is.”
“Ah, gotcha.”
“It can’t spit past the warding, right?” Carla suddenly asked.
“Oh, no,” I assured her. “We’re fine. The wards wouldn’t let anything cross over.” She nodded, appeased.
The animal in enclosure six was the ginormous seal-hippo, Fiona, and she was looking at us as if she was imagining sprinkling us with herbs and spices and stuffing us in an oven. “This girl is one animal I’m going to work on enrichment activities for next,” I told them. “She prefers to feed on crayfish, though she’s happy to eat any humans that wander into her territory. She’ll even make a sound like a baby crying to reel us in. I’ve heard it a bunch of times.”
“Can you get her to make the sound?” Jason asked, perking up.
I grinned. “Not on command, sorry.”
“What enrichment are you thinking of trying?” Wesley asked.
“Possibly food placed in puzzle feeders,” I told him, “since she has claws that are pretty dexterous. Maybe a piñata made out of newspaper with flour inside, or a scarecrow that mimics a human.”
“Awesome,” he muttered.
After a little more educational tidbits, we moved onto Yui’s enclosure. “What is that?” Wesley asked, smiling.
“I got Yui the closest thing I could to a ping-pong ball,” I replied. “She quite likes it.”
“That’s so funny,” he said as she came out of the trees in her spider form. “I mean, the idea of her being a bloodthirsty hunter who seduces men to their deaths and eats them alive, but then on the other hand, she likes playing with something like this.”
“It is a little funny,” I agreed. “But when it comes down to it, all the animals here enjoy activities besides hunting.”
“She can shapeshift to look human, right?” asked Jason, trying to be casual about knowing something factual like his nerdy brother.
I nodded. “She looks like a woman from a region of Earth called Japan. And she’ll use strategies like holding out a hand to shake to get you closer. She tried that on me when I first got here but, as you can see,” I said, holding up my hands and waving them, “I didn’t fall for it.”
The boys both laughed as they got closer to the fence, watching her slowly pace near the trees.
Next was Sun, but she didn’t make an appearance as I spoke about her species. “Well…unfortunately we can’t guarantee that every animal comes out to say hi,” I sighed. “But…oh wait, here she is.”
The green lion with several horns and many eyes along her flank came out from the forest. “Hello,” she spoke.
“Hi, Sun,” I replied. “We have visitors.”
“What’s that?” Wesley asked suddenly, pointing at the small plastic bag that was still where I’d left it.
“Oh! That is Sun’s enrichment,” I said with a smile. “I put dozens of books on a flash drive and found that she can read them just like she’d read a shelf of books.”
Wesley’s eyes widened. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve read about anyone trying that before. That’s really cool.”
“The books are new and interesting,” Sun spoke, drawing our attention. “I’m grateful for them.”
I nodded to her. “You’re quite welcome.”
The next animal, unfortunately, wasn’t there, and we waited around for ten minutes as we discussed him. He was large and reptile-like with red eyes, with its hind legs and tail making him look vaguely like a kangaroo. Then, enclosure ten was a terrifyingly disturbing creature, the not-a-centaur with no skin, that I’d only seen a few times while walking my route. It gave a good demonstration of its ferocity, showing its sharp teeth and snapping at us a few times.
“I’m thinking of trying salt licks and other horse enrichment like a big bouncy ball,” I told Wesley, whose eyebrows went up at that. “Maybe give him more things to forage like scattered grains or a box filled with pinecones and seeds. Foraging is a huge part of a horse’s life in the wild, and humans have to do a lot of activities like that to keep pet horses busy. Of course, he also loves the little salt-water lake that was built for him.”
We spent some time looking at the animal before moving past our last stop, the empty enclosure of the animal was stolen. Carla glanced at me with a sad smile, knowing what had happened, it seemed. I gave her a nod as we continued on our way, walking into the office. “So, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves!” I said with a smile.
“That was the coolest birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” Wesley said, looking to Denise. “Thanks so much, seriously.”
“It was my pleasure,” she said with a nod. “I’d never been here before, and knew I’d find it fascinating. Thank you for the educational aspect,” Denise said, glancing at me. “I learned quite a lot.”
“Happy to hear it,” I said, returning the nod.
As I escorted the guests out of the zoo and locked the door behind them, I reflected on how much I’d changed. The first time I’d seen Yui’s tarantula form, I’d nearly passed out from fear. Now here I was, walking tourists around like it was no big deal. Humans really can adapt to anything, it seems.
That afternoon, Suzanne had texted me that she was coming by after my shift, and I met her in Andrew’s office, shutting the door to the security room behind me. “How’s Andrew?” I asked first thing.
“He’s doing well,” she said with a wide smile. “Back on non-hospital food. He’s allowed to order food on his phone, and to hear it from him, that’s the best news he’d received in a long time.”
I chuckled. “I guess some clichés are true for a reason.”
“Indeed.” She took a breath. “All right. Ripley…I would like to discuss something with you.”
My face went slack at the serious tone in her voice. “I’m not… Am I being fired?”
“What? No!” she exclaimed. Then she chuckled softly. “No, it’s nothing like that. Just, here, let’s have a seat.” Suzanne walked over to the couch and sat at one end, and I took the other. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I’ve kept from you, that I wanted to keep from you until you found your sea legs here.”
“Well…I have,” I said with a nod. “So, what is it?”
Suzanne took a breath. “I knew your mother.”
The words hung in the air for a moment before making their way to my ears. It was a perfectly logical sentence, and yet it didn’t make any sense. “What?” I finally managed.
“When you graduated college, I decided to move the zoo from Italy to within driving distance of your home,” she said softly. “Near enough to your town that you’d see the advert. We ignored any other applicants and I hoped you’d apply. Actually, I expected you’d apply. Not just for the money, but considering the field you wanted to go into. As soon as I’d found out your major, I knew.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, holding up a hand. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “How do you know Patricia?”
“She owned the zoo before I did,” Susan explained. “Fourteen years ago…she was working to track an injured animal that we could bring into the zoo and she was killed by poachers.”
My heart calcified in my chest and a lump lodged in my throat. As my breaths became shaky, I stared at her in shock. “She…she’s really dead?”
“You suspected?” she asked softly.
“It…” I swallowed hard. “We had her declared legally dead after…I don’t know, seven years I think. My dad wanted to go after her for child support, but the police said…they said they couldn’t find…” Tears came to my eyes and I blinked them back before I met Suzanne’s gaze. “She owned the zoo?”
Suzanne nodded. “It was her baby, you’d say. When Patricia passed, I inherited it, which we’d discussed beforehand, a legal just-in-case that I never expected her to need. I’m under the impression that you were told she went to Africa for her photography career, but she was in fact going to remote areas back in my home world almost every time.”
“But I-I saw the photos,” I said, my eyes narrowing. “You’re telling me she put on a show of getting pictures that someone else took for us to see every time she visited? Did my dad even know?”
“I suppose that’s an accurate way to put it, putting on a show. And no, your father was never told. It’s not the way of things to tell humans unless it’s necessary. I won’t bore you with the details, but us and humans, we’re distant relatives, so we can still have children. But it wasn’t planned. Your mother fell in love with your father despite herself; she hadn’t meant to find love. Then she became pregnant with you and…well, the rest is history.”
“I think she had a different definition of love than the one I have,” I said tightly. “You’d think she’d have put her survival as more of a priority. Put being with the man she ‘loved’ as a priority. Her kids needed her. I needed her. She signed up when she became a mom. She could’ve screwed up all the time but she couldn’t even manage that one job: be there. When I was in the hospital, I kept thinking, ‘Where is she?’ and now you’re telling me that she put these animals above being there for her kids, and this whole time she’s been dead.”
“The hospital?” she asked, furrowing her brows.
“Never mind,” I said tersely, averting my gaze.
Suzanne hesitated before she nodded slowly. “I’m sorry for your loss, and not just for her death, Ripley,” she told me. “Patricia was…well, a ‘free spirit’ would be putting it gently. She always assumed the world would be there for her whenever she needed it.”
Staring at her for a long moment, I shook my head. “Why? Why come here and hire me?”
“I thought that would be obvious,” she said, smiling. “Your mother was so passionate about this place and once I found out your college major, I figured you would be as well.”
“Did you know that I hate her?” At that, Suzanne’s expression froze on the edge of shock. “She…she left us,” I whispered. “Didn’t tell us who she was or what she really did for a living and gave us no closure. And even when she was here, it was just visiting. Her real home was her work. She could give me all the presents she wanted, but even when she was here, half the time she was still on her computer doing work. It’s not like that stereotype of never making it to my tennis practice or something; it’s that it always felt like she was only partially here, even when I was sitting next to her. I don’t even know if I appreciate her turning me into a wildlife fanatic because it…it…makes me feel like I’m close to her in a way that’s just infuriating. She loved the animals more than she loved us.”
“Oh, Ripley-”
“Don’t,” I said, shoving myself to my feet. “Don’t try to convince me otherwise.”
“I wasn’t going to,” she said quietly. I pursed my lips. “I was going to say that I’m sorry that was the case. Your mother was…flawed, just like any other person. She had two loves in this world: her family and her work. And often, her work overcame her, her zeal for environmentalism getting in the way of being a good mum. She left your father trying to fill the role of two parents, holding your family together. You and your brother and your father, you all deserved better than that.”
My lower lip quivered but I bit down on it hard. It would’ve been a lot easier for me if she’d been speaking from a place of clueless reassurance about all this. But everything she said was making sense and that meant I didn’t have someone in front of me to be angry with.
“Why didn’t you tell me when Andrew hired me?” I sighed, sitting back down on the couch.
“Well, like I said, I wanted you to find your sea legs,” she said with a small smile. “I didn’t want the truth affecting whether or not you wanted to work here, whether you wanted to stay here after finding out about what the animals are. It would’ve complicated things, the emotions you’ll have to work through now that you know the truth. Whether or not you decide to give another tour, you also know what they’re like. That’s the benchmark I wanted you to reach before you found out about who you are.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Who I-” My face went slack. “Wait.”
Suzanne nodded slowly. “You’re only half human. Your brother too.”
The room seemed to tilt on an axis for a moment. “That means I’m also half…what?”
“We call ourselves Eldritch, these days,” she replied.
My eyes bugged out. “What?” I exclaimed. “So you’re all, like, gods or something?”
Suzanne burst out laughing. “Oh no, goodness, no,” she chuckled. “It’s just a word. We live in a very different world from this one, and a few generations ago we discovered the word and it made its way into our lexicon. But it does mean you can see all the animals. Indeed you did, on the tour you gave.”
“Wait, no, I had the glasses that…” I stopped. “Did those glasses do anything?”
She gave a sly smile and shook her head. “Not a thing. You made incredibly quick progress, and then when it came time for the tour, all you needed was to expect to see the animals, and you did.”
Genetics. That’s what Andrew had said during our interview, that part of how many animals you could see was determined by genetics. I guess having a mother who was originally from the other dimension gave me all the genes I needed to see everything here. “Could I…visit your world?” I asked tentatively. “You said that my mom took photos of the animals there. Could I…” My voice trailed off, not even sure if or how I wanted to finish that sentence.
“Those who are half human, especially those who are raised on Earth, don’t come visit,” she said gently. “I could show you some photos of other animals, and I could loan you as many books as you’d like, but it’s simply not a place where you’d be safe.”
“Oh,” I said, leaning into the couch cushion as I pictured the animals in the zoo. “Yeah, actually that…makes sense.” I paused. “So, what now?”
“It’s up to you,” she said. “I wanted to wait until I was sure you were comfortable with your position here, and then put the ball in your court. And so it is. What do you want to do now?”
What did I want to do? It wasn’t that difficult a question, just a deep, serious one.
I wanted to thrive, as the animals did. This is my enrichment now, working at an incredible, wonderful, terrifying zoo. The experience so far hasn’t been perfect, and I know there are risks, but life isn’t about staying safe. It’s about learning new things and making a difference in the world. And, if you’re lucky, having a job that’s something really special.
THE END
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2024.05.19 06:01 Choice_Evidence1983 My (16m) mom (40f) confessed that she is my sister and I now feel bad
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Born_Analysis8995
Originally posted to self
My (16m) mom (40f) confessed that she is my sister and I now feel bad
Trigger Warnings: death of a loved one, past sexual assault, teen pregnancy, drugs and alcohol use, mentions of overdose
Original Post (Wayback Machine): May 11, 2024
Idk why I feel so much guilt about this whole situation. This happened 5 days ago, 1 week after my 16th birthday.
So my mom (sister) explained our entire family situation. Her mom (my bio mom) was assaulted as a teenager (15) and was forced to keep the child because of her parents, eventually giving birth to my mom. They struggled a lot during this time and my mom was resented by her mom so she moved away as soon as she was 18 and went NC. Her mom began spiralling with drugs, alcohol, etc once she left and eventually ended up pregnant again with me around the time my mom was 23. However, she was deemed unfit to raise me so they managed to contact my mom and she agreed to take me in. My bio mom never really recovered and ended up overdosing a year later.
This completely surprised me because I genuinely never had clue I wasn't actually my mom's child. We look very much alike and she went to great lengths to become my mom. She said that I don't need to call her mom anymore and that I deserved to know the truth before I turn 18. This upset me and I absolutely disagreed with her and said that no matter what she would always be my mom and I would always call her that because she is in every way my mom. And we both cried over this and hugged and I thanked her for telling me the truth also.
The thing that is eating away at me though is that she sacrificed so much to raise me and I can't repay her in any way. Like she hasn't dated at all even though I know that she wants a partner. She also changed professions to better accommodate me. She has done so much and I can't repay her in any way. And I haven't always been the best to her either. I was definitely difficult as a child and recently I haven't really been listening and respecting her as much as I should be. And I know I've probably said some mean things over the years, mostly around wanting to be with my dad (she initially said that she had a husband that abandoned us when I was born). All of this just made me feel so much guilt and sadness. And I know if I talk to her about it she'll just reassure me that she is happy and I shouldn't worry but I can't get rid of this feeling.
I've decided that I'm going to be the best son ever and do everything she says from now on. But I still can't get rid of this feeling. I don't know what to do.
Relevant/Top Comments
YoungeCurmudgeon4: Your sister is an amazing woman and an incredible person and deserves all the love and respect in the world.
As for you, handling this so well takes a lot in a person. Be proud of yourself. And always believe in yourself.
The good thing is that it’s easy to see from your reaction to what she told you that she did an amazing job and you’re well on your way to becoming a great person she will be proud of. Take all of this and let it strengthen those good qualities. Do your best for her and yourself but don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes you can’t change. You don’t need to repay her for the choices she made, you just need to live a life that makes you both happy.
Mini Update: May 12, 2024
I've literally been tearing up from all the comments and messages from everyone. I am honestly so grateful for all the kind words and reassurance. Genuinely thanks so much ❤️
Not much of an update really but I thought I would still share. I took a few pieces of advice and have done them randomly during day. Firstly Happy Mother's Day everyone. Hope you had a great time. Me and my mom had a few things planned for today and I got back just over an hour ago now. We went to the cinema then a restaurant and ended the day with bowling. Honestly had an absolute blast and she was happy throughout. I got her a gift too, it was a photo engraved bracelet which I gave her at the end of bowling.
One advice I got was saying things that show her I care about her so I said "Your the best" and hugged her after the cinema. I also said "I love you" when giving her the bracelet which made her cry 😭
I still do feel the guilt but I'm not gonna let it get me down. Don't want more stress especially with exams coming up 😅 I saw a lot of comments mentioning that I shouldn't keep my feelings bottled up so I am planning on conveying all my feelings to her soon. I'll probably write a letter because I know I'll probably start crying before I even start speaking 😂 I think that will definitely give me some peace of mind. Thanks all again for taking the time to read this ❤️
(Also I completely forgot how biology works in my last post 😅 She would be my half-sister not sister since I doubt our father's were the same. But regardless I'm still going to call her mom 😁)
submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to self
My (16m) mom (40f) confessed that she is my sister and I now feel bad
Trigger Warnings: death of a loved one, past sexual assault, teen pregnancy, drugs and alcohol use, mentions of overdose
Idk why I feel so much guilt about this whole situation. This happened 5 days ago, 1 week after my 16th birthday.
So my mom (sister) explained our entire family situation. Her mom (my bio mom) was assaulted as a teenager (15) and was forced to keep the child because of her parents, eventually giving birth to my mom. They struggled a lot during this time and my mom was resented by her mom so she moved away as soon as she was 18 and went NC. Her mom began spiralling with drugs, alcohol, etc once she left and eventually ended up pregnant again with me around the time my mom was 23. However, she was deemed unfit to raise me so they managed to contact my mom and she agreed to take me in. My bio mom never really recovered and ended up overdosing a year later.
This completely surprised me because I genuinely never had clue I wasn't actually my mom's child. We look very much alike and she went to great lengths to become my mom. She said that I don't need to call her mom anymore and that I deserved to know the truth before I turn 18. This upset me and I absolutely disagreed with her and said that no matter what she would always be my mom and I would always call her that because she is in every way my mom. And we both cried over this and hugged and I thanked her for telling me the truth also.
The thing that is eating away at me though is that she sacrificed so much to raise me and I can't repay her in any way. Like she hasn't dated at all even though I know that she wants a partner. She also changed professions to better accommodate me. She has done so much and I can't repay her in any way. And I haven't always been the best to her either. I was definitely difficult as a child and recently I haven't really been listening and respecting her as much as I should be. And I know I've probably said some mean things over the years, mostly around wanting to be with my dad (she initially said that she had a husband that abandoned us when I was born). All of this just made me feel so much guilt and sadness. And I know if I talk to her about it she'll just reassure me that she is happy and I shouldn't worry but I can't get rid of this feeling.
I've decided that I'm going to be the best son ever and do everything she says from now on. But I still can't get rid of this feeling. I don't know what to do.
Relevant/Top Comments
YoungeCurmudgeon4: Your sister is an amazing woman and an incredible person and deserves all the love and respect in the world.
As for you, handling this so well takes a lot in a person. Be proud of yourself. And always believe in yourself.
OOP: Thanks I'll try my best ❤️ My love for her is probably at an all time high. I wish I'd know earlier so that I could have always treated her this way.TraditionalShop6800: Talk to your mom, thank her and tell you are grateful for how she raised you. And now, she should think about herself too. Encourage her to date again and find a partner.
OOP: Okay I will. I think I'll take some time to figure out the right words to say to her 😅Galactus1701: Repay her by being the best person you can be. Help her, be respectful, study and always be grateful.
OOP: Absolutely will be the best son I can 😅BiasCutTweed: You have to also give yourself a little grace here - your mom sounds amazing and deserves all the best, but what she clearly wanted for you was to give you a normal, stable childhood. And it’s very normal for children to act out sometimes, to say things in anger, to be difficult. It’s all a part of growing up.
The good thing is that it’s easy to see from your reaction to what she told you that she did an amazing job and you’re well on your way to becoming a great person she will be proud of. Take all of this and let it strengthen those good qualities. Do your best for her and yourself but don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes you can’t change. You don’t need to repay her for the choices she made, you just need to live a life that makes you both happy.
OOP: Thank you for the advice ❤️ I'll definitely try my best to feel proud of myself and also make her happy
Mini Update: May 12, 2024
I've literally been tearing up from all the comments and messages from everyone. I am honestly so grateful for all the kind words and reassurance. Genuinely thanks so much ❤️
Not much of an update really but I thought I would still share. I took a few pieces of advice and have done them randomly during day. Firstly Happy Mother's Day everyone. Hope you had a great time. Me and my mom had a few things planned for today and I got back just over an hour ago now. We went to the cinema then a restaurant and ended the day with bowling. Honestly had an absolute blast and she was happy throughout. I got her a gift too, it was a photo engraved bracelet which I gave her at the end of bowling.
One advice I got was saying things that show her I care about her so I said "Your the best" and hugged her after the cinema. I also said "I love you" when giving her the bracelet which made her cry 😭
I still do feel the guilt but I'm not gonna let it get me down. Don't want more stress especially with exams coming up 😅 I saw a lot of comments mentioning that I shouldn't keep my feelings bottled up so I am planning on conveying all my feelings to her soon. I'll probably write a letter because I know I'll probably start crying before I even start speaking 😂 I think that will definitely give me some peace of mind. Thanks all again for taking the time to read this ❤️
(Also I completely forgot how biology works in my last post 😅 She would be my half-sister not sister since I doubt our father's were the same. But regardless I'm still going to call her mom 😁)
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
2024.05.19 05:54 JumpyMeal5294 My girfriend '21 F' and I '21 M' broke up and I feel scared and numb at the same time. What do I do?
My girlfriend '21 F'and I '21M' broke up about a month ago. It wasn't an ugly one. We loved each other and always will but we couldn't work through our differences and decided that it was for the best for the both of us to spilt up. If I am being honest, one could look at things and say that it was mutual breakup but when we were having the conversation about whether we should stay together or break up, it looked like she was just too exhausted and had lost her will in fighting for this. I could sense it and I finally asked her, " Do you think we are fighting for a losing cause?", to which she replied that she's not fighting anymore, not right now. She was and I think still is the most beautiful human being I've ever come across. We dated for 2 years and everything was perfect. I couldn't imagine my life without her, still can't.
We had a big fight during valentine's. During the month of January, we were fighting almost every weekend. So, I decided to make up for all the fighting, in February, on Valentine's day, and decided to order her a gift which was a photo of us and the Spotify link of the first song we slow danced on, printed on a wooden plaque. The month of February came and she initiated the conversation about valentine's gift but I wanted to surprise her with my gift so I didn't tell her at first about it, but she felt bad that I wasn't as excited about valentine's. I then assured her that wasn't the case and I revealed my gift to her. She didn't outright say it but I could figure that she didn't like the gift( before this, I gifted her a paper on which I sewed a heart and drew a Spotify link of a playlist that I made her of songs which I wanted to dedicate to her. She just felt that both the gifts were very similar and that I just came up with the wooden plaque thingy on the spot and that I hadn't given it much thought. She just felt that it was used up and cliché. I genuinely didn't even think of my previous gift which I gave while selecting this one. I just thought that it would be a sweet thing to gift. Idk but I just wanted to surprise her, maybe in that process I hid my excitement and she must've felt that I wasn't excited or something. We were in a long distance relationship for our whole 2 years btw ). She asked me if it was okay if we don't do anything for this valentine's. I was definitely not okay with that and I asked her if there was something that she would like to have as a gift. She was still a little upset so she said that if I cared I would've asked her in the first place. 2 days after this I still ordered her the gift because I thought that she might've not seen the photo or the song that I printed on the plaque and that seeing the gift will change her mind. Few days went by and when the gift was about to arrive at her place, I started teasing her a little bit that I am sending her something. She got really upset, and said whatever I was sending her I must cancel it or return it. I told her that it couldn't be cancelled as it was already dispatched and about to arrive.She then asked me when did I order it, and I said I had ordered it before we had the conversation about not celebrating valentine's ( which was a lie ). She said that she will throw it, not open it or return the gift rather than accepting it. It really angered and hurt me when she said that. She then sent me Rs. 500 for the gift and asked me if that was enough or the gift costed more. I told her that it was enough but in reality it was for Rs. 540. She asked me to swear on her if that was the actual cost of the gift, and I did. I know, I fucked up. This was one rule in our relationship that we would never break, but I did and I will always regret doing that. I just- I will never forgive myself for doing so. 3 days passed by and the gift arrived. Along with the gift also came the fee invoice, on which the actual price of the gift and order date was written. The worst part is that I was still trying to defend myself. She asked me if I will stop manipulating the situation and tell the truth. I didn't even realise what I was doing. Her trust broke at that moment, and with her trust something else also broke that day in our relationship. We were never the same after that in our relationship but we didn't break up. We still worked together on our relationship. 3 months went by and i could see that she was giving her best to me and I was giving all that I could to her as well, but the guilt of what I did was so much for me that I would end up apologizing for it to her almost every day, and she would assure me that it was okay and that she had moved past that and I should too but I just couldn't. I could see she was getting irritated and exhausted of having the same conversation again and again for 3 months. Then came the day when everything broke down. 14th April, she said that she felt like we were like an old married couple who were in a relationship just for the sake of it. At that point I could feel something break in me. For those 3 months I was trying to have conversations with her on phone but I felt like she didn't seem interested in talking to me, She would either be on her phone than talking to me, so I told her that I felt like we are just updating each other of our day and it feels like a chore. I asked her if we could change this and she said "haven't we tried", to which I said "we have". I just felt like she has lost the will to fight for this and I have given her every reason to feel that way.
When we were having the conversation about whether we should still continue dating, one of the points she put forward was that I had lost myself in the relationship. I lost my individuality, the things that made me me. She had expressed this feeling before as well, that she felt like she was dating a version of herself and not me. That I was so scared to loose her that I lost myself in that process. That I was doing things just so that I don't lose her. I had no opinions of my own. One more fucked up thing is that whenever we went on dates, she was the one who initiated them in the last 6 months of our relationship. I felt like the most terrible person to ever exist in her life. So I decided that it time for me to work on myself and that if I continue things like they are, I will lose her, in return I just asked her to be please be gentle and patient with me. She indeed was gentle and patient and i initiated some fun online play dates but she was just busy with her stuff there and we couldn't do them.
Finally, on the call, I asked her, "are we breaking up?", she said "yeah". Her voice trembled and i broke down. In a shaky voice, she said " I need to cut this call ". I said " I'm sorry ". She said " I'm sorry too ". I locked myself in the washroom and cried.
It's been over a month to this and I still feel numb and scared. I find it difficult to sleep. I find it difficult to focus on things. I just keep thinking of all the things that I did wrong. I still care about her but the fact that she will never be mine again is too heavy for me, so I don't contact her much. I am not able to feel anything. I just feel this void. She was my everything. I painted a globe on a ball and wrote " You mean the world to me " on her birthday. She really did mean the world to me. I don't know what to do. She was my first ever girlfriend. She saw me and accepted me when I was invisible to others. She is the reason I know what love actually is. I love her, I always will. I still can't accept that she will never be mine again.
submitted by JumpyMeal5294 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
We had a big fight during valentine's. During the month of January, we were fighting almost every weekend. So, I decided to make up for all the fighting, in February, on Valentine's day, and decided to order her a gift which was a photo of us and the Spotify link of the first song we slow danced on, printed on a wooden plaque. The month of February came and she initiated the conversation about valentine's gift but I wanted to surprise her with my gift so I didn't tell her at first about it, but she felt bad that I wasn't as excited about valentine's. I then assured her that wasn't the case and I revealed my gift to her. She didn't outright say it but I could figure that she didn't like the gift( before this, I gifted her a paper on which I sewed a heart and drew a Spotify link of a playlist that I made her of songs which I wanted to dedicate to her. She just felt that both the gifts were very similar and that I just came up with the wooden plaque thingy on the spot and that I hadn't given it much thought. She just felt that it was used up and cliché. I genuinely didn't even think of my previous gift which I gave while selecting this one. I just thought that it would be a sweet thing to gift. Idk but I just wanted to surprise her, maybe in that process I hid my excitement and she must've felt that I wasn't excited or something. We were in a long distance relationship for our whole 2 years btw ). She asked me if it was okay if we don't do anything for this valentine's. I was definitely not okay with that and I asked her if there was something that she would like to have as a gift. She was still a little upset so she said that if I cared I would've asked her in the first place. 2 days after this I still ordered her the gift because I thought that she might've not seen the photo or the song that I printed on the plaque and that seeing the gift will change her mind. Few days went by and when the gift was about to arrive at her place, I started teasing her a little bit that I am sending her something. She got really upset, and said whatever I was sending her I must cancel it or return it. I told her that it couldn't be cancelled as it was already dispatched and about to arrive.She then asked me when did I order it, and I said I had ordered it before we had the conversation about not celebrating valentine's ( which was a lie ). She said that she will throw it, not open it or return the gift rather than accepting it. It really angered and hurt me when she said that. She then sent me Rs. 500 for the gift and asked me if that was enough or the gift costed more. I told her that it was enough but in reality it was for Rs. 540. She asked me to swear on her if that was the actual cost of the gift, and I did. I know, I fucked up. This was one rule in our relationship that we would never break, but I did and I will always regret doing that. I just- I will never forgive myself for doing so. 3 days passed by and the gift arrived. Along with the gift also came the fee invoice, on which the actual price of the gift and order date was written. The worst part is that I was still trying to defend myself. She asked me if I will stop manipulating the situation and tell the truth. I didn't even realise what I was doing. Her trust broke at that moment, and with her trust something else also broke that day in our relationship. We were never the same after that in our relationship but we didn't break up. We still worked together on our relationship. 3 months went by and i could see that she was giving her best to me and I was giving all that I could to her as well, but the guilt of what I did was so much for me that I would end up apologizing for it to her almost every day, and she would assure me that it was okay and that she had moved past that and I should too but I just couldn't. I could see she was getting irritated and exhausted of having the same conversation again and again for 3 months. Then came the day when everything broke down. 14th April, she said that she felt like we were like an old married couple who were in a relationship just for the sake of it. At that point I could feel something break in me. For those 3 months I was trying to have conversations with her on phone but I felt like she didn't seem interested in talking to me, She would either be on her phone than talking to me, so I told her that I felt like we are just updating each other of our day and it feels like a chore. I asked her if we could change this and she said "haven't we tried", to which I said "we have". I just felt like she has lost the will to fight for this and I have given her every reason to feel that way.
When we were having the conversation about whether we should still continue dating, one of the points she put forward was that I had lost myself in the relationship. I lost my individuality, the things that made me me. She had expressed this feeling before as well, that she felt like she was dating a version of herself and not me. That I was so scared to loose her that I lost myself in that process. That I was doing things just so that I don't lose her. I had no opinions of my own. One more fucked up thing is that whenever we went on dates, she was the one who initiated them in the last 6 months of our relationship. I felt like the most terrible person to ever exist in her life. So I decided that it time for me to work on myself and that if I continue things like they are, I will lose her, in return I just asked her to be please be gentle and patient with me. She indeed was gentle and patient and i initiated some fun online play dates but she was just busy with her stuff there and we couldn't do them.
Finally, on the call, I asked her, "are we breaking up?", she said "yeah". Her voice trembled and i broke down. In a shaky voice, she said " I need to cut this call ". I said " I'm sorry ". She said " I'm sorry too ". I locked myself in the washroom and cried.
It's been over a month to this and I still feel numb and scared. I find it difficult to sleep. I find it difficult to focus on things. I just keep thinking of all the things that I did wrong. I still care about her but the fact that she will never be mine again is too heavy for me, so I don't contact her much. I am not able to feel anything. I just feel this void. She was my everything. I painted a globe on a ball and wrote " You mean the world to me " on her birthday. She really did mean the world to me. I don't know what to do. She was my first ever girlfriend. She saw me and accepted me when I was invisible to others. She is the reason I know what love actually is. I love her, I always will. I still can't accept that she will never be mine again.
2024.05.19 05:53 No-Ostrich1913 Wtf is a xim?
Comp has been hella toxic recently good players send hate mail every game and bad players call me a cheater because somehow I’m lagging or “move too fast to be on console” and say I’m using a xim
Toxic people will always be toxic but idk what’s going on with this “xim” and “chronus” talk is console facing a cheater outbreak or something and causing everyone to be paranoid?
I’ve always used the basic Xbox controller with my normal Xbox SX I run max sensitivity the ONLY things I’ve ever done is changed my settings so I can shoot while jump/slide and ofc change the new dead zone settings
I literally have no idea what a xim I saw a aztecross vid about it long ago I’m pretty sure it’s just a “anti recoil tool” but ig it’s for movement too? Or is it that the person accusing me of cheating have absolutely no idea what it is either and are just mad they lost
It’s becoming a issue because they say they reported me and I’ll be damned if I get banned for being “good” (i put quotes cuz I can barely stay in platinum but I’m typically on top and carrying)
submitted by No-Ostrich1913 to CrucibleGuidebook [link] [comments]
Toxic people will always be toxic but idk what’s going on with this “xim” and “chronus” talk is console facing a cheater outbreak or something and causing everyone to be paranoid?
I’ve always used the basic Xbox controller with my normal Xbox SX I run max sensitivity the ONLY things I’ve ever done is changed my settings so I can shoot while jump/slide and ofc change the new dead zone settings
I literally have no idea what a xim I saw a aztecross vid about it long ago I’m pretty sure it’s just a “anti recoil tool” but ig it’s for movement too? Or is it that the person accusing me of cheating have absolutely no idea what it is either and are just mad they lost
It’s becoming a issue because they say they reported me and I’ll be damned if I get banned for being “good” (i put quotes cuz I can barely stay in platinum but I’m typically on top and carrying)
2024.05.19 05:51 Salt_Light930 Not sure whether or not to break up with my girlfriend, opinion needed
There has not been a specific single incident which has caused me to question this, but the last straw happened a few days ago. This involved her snapping as a minor disagreement and trying to hurt herself, ending up with me, her father, and her brother to hold her down. I truly love this girl, but I go back and forth with whether it is healthy for me to stay. We have been together for 3 years and we live together. She has made many promises to work on her mental health, but it feels like she just keeps relapsing (which I understand, but it is very hard on me as well, not to sound selfish).
There are many things in our relationship that is caused by her anxiety. She has separation anxiety, making it where she does not want me to be away from her for more than 2 nights. She also doesn't like me being out with my friends too long. With trips, whether it be with me friends or family, it can't be more than once every 3 months. If I am gone longer than that, she cuts contact with me and says that she would be better off without this stress in her life. There is always an argument when it comes to me going anywhere without her.
She has barely met any of my friends. We always have a date set, then she feels depressed the day of, then we have to cancel. She didn't even come to my birthday party at our own apartment because she was sacred of a couple of my friends being there (about 4). Now she has made progress and has met one of them, and she says she really wants to meet more, but it never happens.
She can get very defensive and angry about anything changing or not going her way. Usually it ends up with me being ignored and yelled at. Then her coming around the next day, apologizing and trying to find a compromise. This cycle makes me not want to press my opinion on things unless it is very important to me.
Please don't get me wrong, she is my best friend. She makes me laugh more than anyone in the world. We have very similar goals in life, morals, and are very compatible, especially with me being ace. She is super sweet, but her anxiety and depression really gets in the way, usually almost everyday. I don't know if this is enough to warrant giving up on such an amazing person.
TL;DR! My girlfriend has anxiety, social anxiety, depression, and ocd. Do I stick it out until her mental health gets better, or is it time to move on?
I would love some other peoples' opinions. I can add any context needed if anyone wants to know more~
Edit: I am using a burner account
submitted by Salt_Light930 to LesbianActually [link] [comments]
There are many things in our relationship that is caused by her anxiety. She has separation anxiety, making it where she does not want me to be away from her for more than 2 nights. She also doesn't like me being out with my friends too long. With trips, whether it be with me friends or family, it can't be more than once every 3 months. If I am gone longer than that, she cuts contact with me and says that she would be better off without this stress in her life. There is always an argument when it comes to me going anywhere without her.
She has barely met any of my friends. We always have a date set, then she feels depressed the day of, then we have to cancel. She didn't even come to my birthday party at our own apartment because she was sacred of a couple of my friends being there (about 4). Now she has made progress and has met one of them, and she says she really wants to meet more, but it never happens.
She can get very defensive and angry about anything changing or not going her way. Usually it ends up with me being ignored and yelled at. Then her coming around the next day, apologizing and trying to find a compromise. This cycle makes me not want to press my opinion on things unless it is very important to me.
Please don't get me wrong, she is my best friend. She makes me laugh more than anyone in the world. We have very similar goals in life, morals, and are very compatible, especially with me being ace. She is super sweet, but her anxiety and depression really gets in the way, usually almost everyday. I don't know if this is enough to warrant giving up on such an amazing person.
TL;DR! My girlfriend has anxiety, social anxiety, depression, and ocd. Do I stick it out until her mental health gets better, or is it time to move on?
I would love some other peoples' opinions. I can add any context needed if anyone wants to know more~
Edit: I am using a burner account
2024.05.19 05:44 Salt_Light930 Do I 23M, break up with my girlfriend 25F because of her anxiety?
There has not been a specific single incident which has caused me to question this, but the last straw happened a few days ago. This involved her snapping as a minor disagreement and trying to hurt herself, ending up with me, her father, and her brother to hold her down. I truly love this girl, but I go back and forth with whether it is healthy for me to stay. We have been together for 3 years and we live together. She has made many promises to work on her mental health, but it feels like she just keeps relapsing (which I understand, but it is very hard on me as well, not to sound selfish).
There are many things in our relationship that is caused by her anxiety. She has separation anxiety, making it where she does not want me to be away from her for more than 2 nights. She also doesn't like me being out with my friends too long. With trips, whether it be with me friends or family, it can't be more than once every 3 months. If I am gone longer than that, she cuts contact with me and says that she would be better off without this stress in her life. There is always an argument when it comes to me going anywhere without her.
She has barely met any of my friends. We always have a date set, then she feels depressed the day of, then we have to cancel. She didn't even come to my birthday party at our own apartment because she was sacred of a couple of my friends being there (about 4). Now she has made progress and has met one of them, and she says she really wants to meet more, but it never happens.
She can get very defensive and angry about anything changing or not going her way. Usually it ends up with me being ignored and yelled at. Then her coming around the next day, apologizing and trying to find a compromise. This cycle makes me not want to press my opinion on things unless it is very important to me.
Please don't get me wrong, she is my best friend. She makes me laugh more than anyone in the world. We have very similar goals in life, morals, and are very compatible, especially with me being ace. She is super sweet, but her anxiety and depression really gets in the way, usually almost everyday. I don't know if this is enough to warrant giving up on such an amazing person.
TL;DR! My girlfriend has anxiety, social anxiety, depression, and ocd. Do I stick it out until her mental health gets better, or is it time to move on?
I would love some other peoples' opinions. I can add any context needed if anyone wants to know more~
Edit: I am using a burner account
submitted by Salt_Light930 to relationships [link] [comments]
There are many things in our relationship that is caused by her anxiety. She has separation anxiety, making it where she does not want me to be away from her for more than 2 nights. She also doesn't like me being out with my friends too long. With trips, whether it be with me friends or family, it can't be more than once every 3 months. If I am gone longer than that, she cuts contact with me and says that she would be better off without this stress in her life. There is always an argument when it comes to me going anywhere without her.
She has barely met any of my friends. We always have a date set, then she feels depressed the day of, then we have to cancel. She didn't even come to my birthday party at our own apartment because she was sacred of a couple of my friends being there (about 4). Now she has made progress and has met one of them, and she says she really wants to meet more, but it never happens.
She can get very defensive and angry about anything changing or not going her way. Usually it ends up with me being ignored and yelled at. Then her coming around the next day, apologizing and trying to find a compromise. This cycle makes me not want to press my opinion on things unless it is very important to me.
Please don't get me wrong, she is my best friend. She makes me laugh more than anyone in the world. We have very similar goals in life, morals, and are very compatible, especially with me being ace. She is super sweet, but her anxiety and depression really gets in the way, usually almost everyday. I don't know if this is enough to warrant giving up on such an amazing person.
TL;DR! My girlfriend has anxiety, social anxiety, depression, and ocd. Do I stick it out until her mental health gets better, or is it time to move on?
I would love some other peoples' opinions. I can add any context needed if anyone wants to know more~
Edit: I am using a burner account
2024.05.19 05:33 detachedattachment Ghoster breaks No Contact for birthday
Context: We were friends for 4 years. He ghosted me a month ago. It happened all of a sudden. I told him I was at the hospital. He gave me no explanation. I begged for us to leave on better terms. He blocked me. I knew he would send this because all he did was alternate between silent treatment , anger bursts and apologies whenever I try to move on. I even know the time of day he would send this: he only sends me messages late at night. Then he complains to me that apologizing so often is a sign that I am his abuser. He armchair diagnosed me with BPD so I asked about it to my therapist. He told me to be wary of his behavior bc there is no BPD on my end. He is avoidant and always comes back. What would you do? I personally find it annoying that he waited for my birthday because I don't want to think of him and all the hurt he caused on that day.
Mail he sent:
Dear X,
I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I'm sorry for how things have turned so sour between us. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to give you what you asked. I hope you're doing okay, I worry often. I've tried to add you on discord a few times but I guess you're not around or don't want to anymore. No matter what happens you'll always have a place in my heart. I know that isn't believed by you, nor do I expect it to be. I just want you to know that I have a sincere gratitude for having gotten to know you and grow with you through our interactions. Have a wonderful day; may it treat you with kindness.
Y.
submitted by detachedattachment to ghosting [link] [comments]
Mail he sent:
Dear X,
I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I'm sorry for how things have turned so sour between us. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to give you what you asked. I hope you're doing okay, I worry often. I've tried to add you on discord a few times but I guess you're not around or don't want to anymore. No matter what happens you'll always have a place in my heart. I know that isn't believed by you, nor do I expect it to be. I just want you to know that I have a sincere gratitude for having gotten to know you and grow with you through our interactions. Have a wonderful day; may it treat you with kindness.
Y.
2024.05.19 05:33 Future_Candidate1729 Am i the jerk for ruining my 600lbs sisters life
So for some background info, this story mainly take place from when i was 12-18, I'm the oldest of a family of 3 kids and im a 6" softmore in high school and my sister is a 5 and a half woman with knee problems because she is 600lb. I am currently in my late 20's writing this. Her whole life my parents always treated her better because she is the youngest, they would act like me and my only other sibling, lets call him jacob, like we didnt exist. they always gave her anything, if she wanted something that I had they would let her just snoop in and take it. when ever we went to a restaurant she would get extra drinks and deserts. If we saw a vending machine she could get 3 snacks, me and jacob only got to share 1, if not none. you get the point making her gain weight and this turned into a habit. fast forward a few years and I am a senior in high school. When she was 15 she donated her kidney to our mom because she had chronic kidney disease. Now that she only has one kidney, if there was something wrong with one she would die. And in my family I am the only match. one day she was not in the mood for anything. I decided to play some music for me and Jacob. we were playing minecraft for about an hour until she just snapped. she barged and demanded that i turn it down, i said no because she should be nicer and not barge in demanding I do things disrupting the peaceful invironment. I told her to just deal with it and if it was too much of a problem she can figure it out. about ten minutes go by and nothing until she come barging in with a hammer and breaks the speakers and my pc, which i paid for and saved for 5 years to buy. i was devastated and pissed. I told my parents but they acted like i was a fly and said to deal with it. she left and i was sobbing because that was not only my pc but it had out dogs last ever photos on it and they got erased. fast forward a week and she breaks up with her boyfriend, she stress eats alot, and gains 50-75 pounds. now that she is doing this she is around 600lbs and her kidney is failing. I was the only person who could safely transplant the kidney. and i denied. now 6 weeks later on my birthday my parents kicked me out becasue i am 18 and caused the death of their beloved behimth.
submitted by Future_Candidate1729 to AmITheJerk [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 05:29 Dizzy_Initiative1158 Would I be the ahole if I don’t go to my great Nieces first birthday?
This is a long one. I (f37) am thinking about not going to my great nieces first birthday.
My niece (19) and I have always been quite close. I have always been there for her growing up and was heavily involved since the day she was born. I actually watched her be born. I always held my nieces and nephews as babies, changed their nappies, bathed them, looked after them, took them places, bought them things etc. Now my niece has had a baby and it’s the total opposite of how things were when my niece was a baby. She never wants people to hold baby, do things for baby,look after her or do ANY of the things I did when she was little. Every time I tried to hold her or be involved in any way it was as if I was a stranger trying to hold her baby. I always felt like I was a nobody and my niece didn’t want me to acknowledge her daughter at all. I began to feel guilty for even looking at her. It all came to a head when I asked what kind of baby seat she used as I wanted to get one just incase me or my parents ever needed to have or pick up my great niece for any reason. I got shut down and was told that there was no point as she would never be in anyone else’s car so there was no need to buy a baby seat. I was over trying at that point. I had put so much energy and effort into trying to be the best great aunt I could be just as I had been the best aunt I could be for my niece but I was getting rejected left right and centre. I made a generic post on Facebook saying that I was giving up trying which she obviously knew was about this situation. She wouldn’t answer any of my texts or phone calls. I should mention that I suffer from depression and mental illness and was on the verge of a breakdown. I was at a very low point and decided I needed to get away. I spontaneously bought a ticket to Germany for the next day for four weeks. (My sister lives in Germany) I then get a text from my niece saying the following.
Hey (name removed) Look i’m not mad at you i’m just disappointed that something as simple as telling you not to buy a car seat for baby as it’s not necessary caused you to posted things on facebook and etc. It’s disappointing you haven’t respected husband and I’s boundaries, privacy and personal choice for us and our family. On my multiple occasions you haven’t taken no for an answer and I feel like i’m walking on egg shells quite frankly trying not to upset you. I feel as though I can’t say “no don’t buy a car seat” or no to a cuddle with baby without offending you. It’s really draining constantly feeling like husband and my decisions for our baby are not being respected or understood by you at family gatherings, which doesn’t bring joy and happiness into my life and my family. I understand you might mean well but at the end of the day it’s not your decision on anything to do with baby it’s up to husband and I and unfortunately if you can’t respect that then we aren’t going to want to see you, and want to catch up with you and ect. We are a private family and like to have our space we also do not have time for drama and etc in our lives. I’m sorry if this upsets you but husband and I only want the best for our baby and that includes the people around her. And it is so negative and upsetting to see that one of our family members have posted about us on her facebook and is not the type of energy we want in are daughters life. We are currently in the middle of moving house so I don’t have time for long conversations like this, and that’s why I haven’t answered you yet but when we have settled down in our new house and everything we can catch up and talk in person. Hope you understand where we are coming from and think and process what I have said Thank you. love you 🫶🫶
It was like a gut punch. I totally broke down after that. The time away was good but it was super awkward when I returned home. I didn’t want to engage at all. Over time things slowly improved and I felt like things were getting better. Then one day a weeks back we were having a family bbq and she had put baby on the ground while holding her hands. I put my arms out to pick her up and my niece held babies hands tighter and said something along the lines of why do you always have to pick her up when I put her down. I was taken aback and left the room for a while. I kept my distance the rest of the day and haven’t reached out since. I should also add that my sister and niece are very similar in the sense that if I don’t reach out to them (eg call or text) I NEVER hear from them. I am so drained and tired of trying and have become distant. I don’t want to socialise with them or talk. My great nieces first birthday is next week and I don’t want to go. I don’t t have the energy to pretend everything is ok. I don’t see the point in me being there. So would I be the asshole if I didn’t attend.
submitted by Dizzy_Initiative1158 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
My niece (19) and I have always been quite close. I have always been there for her growing up and was heavily involved since the day she was born. I actually watched her be born. I always held my nieces and nephews as babies, changed their nappies, bathed them, looked after them, took them places, bought them things etc. Now my niece has had a baby and it’s the total opposite of how things were when my niece was a baby. She never wants people to hold baby, do things for baby,look after her or do ANY of the things I did when she was little. Every time I tried to hold her or be involved in any way it was as if I was a stranger trying to hold her baby. I always felt like I was a nobody and my niece didn’t want me to acknowledge her daughter at all. I began to feel guilty for even looking at her. It all came to a head when I asked what kind of baby seat she used as I wanted to get one just incase me or my parents ever needed to have or pick up my great niece for any reason. I got shut down and was told that there was no point as she would never be in anyone else’s car so there was no need to buy a baby seat. I was over trying at that point. I had put so much energy and effort into trying to be the best great aunt I could be just as I had been the best aunt I could be for my niece but I was getting rejected left right and centre. I made a generic post on Facebook saying that I was giving up trying which she obviously knew was about this situation. She wouldn’t answer any of my texts or phone calls. I should mention that I suffer from depression and mental illness and was on the verge of a breakdown. I was at a very low point and decided I needed to get away. I spontaneously bought a ticket to Germany for the next day for four weeks. (My sister lives in Germany) I then get a text from my niece saying the following.
Hey (name removed) Look i’m not mad at you i’m just disappointed that something as simple as telling you not to buy a car seat for baby as it’s not necessary caused you to posted things on facebook and etc. It’s disappointing you haven’t respected husband and I’s boundaries, privacy and personal choice for us and our family. On my multiple occasions you haven’t taken no for an answer and I feel like i’m walking on egg shells quite frankly trying not to upset you. I feel as though I can’t say “no don’t buy a car seat” or no to a cuddle with baby without offending you. It’s really draining constantly feeling like husband and my decisions for our baby are not being respected or understood by you at family gatherings, which doesn’t bring joy and happiness into my life and my family. I understand you might mean well but at the end of the day it’s not your decision on anything to do with baby it’s up to husband and I and unfortunately if you can’t respect that then we aren’t going to want to see you, and want to catch up with you and ect. We are a private family and like to have our space we also do not have time for drama and etc in our lives. I’m sorry if this upsets you but husband and I only want the best for our baby and that includes the people around her. And it is so negative and upsetting to see that one of our family members have posted about us on her facebook and is not the type of energy we want in are daughters life. We are currently in the middle of moving house so I don’t have time for long conversations like this, and that’s why I haven’t answered you yet but when we have settled down in our new house and everything we can catch up and talk in person. Hope you understand where we are coming from and think and process what I have said Thank you. love you 🫶🫶
It was like a gut punch. I totally broke down after that. The time away was good but it was super awkward when I returned home. I didn’t want to engage at all. Over time things slowly improved and I felt like things were getting better. Then one day a weeks back we were having a family bbq and she had put baby on the ground while holding her hands. I put my arms out to pick her up and my niece held babies hands tighter and said something along the lines of why do you always have to pick her up when I put her down. I was taken aback and left the room for a while. I kept my distance the rest of the day and haven’t reached out since. I should also add that my sister and niece are very similar in the sense that if I don’t reach out to them (eg call or text) I NEVER hear from them. I am so drained and tired of trying and have become distant. I don’t want to socialise with them or talk. My great nieces first birthday is next week and I don’t want to go. I don’t t have the energy to pretend everything is ok. I don’t see the point in me being there. So would I be the asshole if I didn’t attend.
2024.05.19 05:20 vvveeevv Question about Dani's Parents/Sister
Okay I haven't seen the movie in a hot minute (need to rewatch) but I have a pretty vivid memory and was watching a video about midsommer and...did Dani ever see the horrific scene that was her sister with her mouth taped, parents sleeping, the car etc?
There are some flashbacks Dani had in a couple scenes and there were shots of her sister dead on the floor (Dani's memories haunting her from what she witnessed in real life) (or false images gathered from police description?), and I'm unsure of if that's just for us to see or if she had seen it as well.
I may be totally wrong and stupid but I was just wondering, I remember her reaction to getting the call that they had passed, but I wasn't sure if she visited her deceased family members afterword. I can't imagine giving a person a full description of their entire families deaths in gruesome detail like that, so I just wonder how it was told to Dani or if she had seen it.
If anyone knows more LMK
submitted by vvveeevv to Midsommar [link] [comments]
There are some flashbacks Dani had in a couple scenes and there were shots of her sister dead on the floor (Dani's memories haunting her from what she witnessed in real life) (or false images gathered from police description?), and I'm unsure of if that's just for us to see or if she had seen it as well.
I may be totally wrong and stupid but I was just wondering, I remember her reaction to getting the call that they had passed, but I wasn't sure if she visited her deceased family members afterword. I can't imagine giving a person a full description of their entire families deaths in gruesome detail like that, so I just wonder how it was told to Dani or if she had seen it.
If anyone knows more LMK
2024.05.19 05:12 puddinglala to the mothers of the men I loved
I never told you this, but I have never had a particularly good relationship with my own mother—certainly not for a lack of trying. We are just different people, with different wants and needs, I suppose. I don't resent her for her inability to resemble something loving, warm, safe, maternal. She bites when she means to hug and pushes away what she means to pull. I have had almost three decades of life to come to terms with the fact that her love is extremely flawed and jagged, a reflection of her own pain and unhealed wounds.
So each of you, in your own ways, be it bringing me gifts, making Sunday crepes for me (you even sifted the flour, and vehemently refused to let me do the dishes), or inviting me to family gatherings (where I was always made to feel like a true member of the family), filled the void that my own mother left in my heart. Your kindness, your warm hugs and smiles, your genuine care—these were the things I had craved and longed for my entire life since my childhood. Through you, I experienced the most nurturing and pure love that I had only been able to dream of.
I have learned that love and acceptance can be withdrawn seemingly as easily as they were given.
Of course, I don't blame you for that. Things happen. Not every love story is a "happy ever after" and I understand that most mothers will just about always "choose" their sons. But I would be a liar if I said it did not hurt me to think of at times. Naturally, it hurts to lose someone you once saw a future with. Strangely enough, though, through the passage of time, I have mourned my connections with all of you the most.
J, I hope your retirement is as amazing as you wanted it to be and that you’ve found continued joy in your gardening hobby. I loved trying your little tomatoes with you. I can only imagine how gorgeous your garden must be now.
H, I hope you’re still making your incredible food. Your lovingly-made food was always the highlight of your visits, and I think of you every time I've had crepes since. I miss "reading" each other our fortunes at the bottom of the coffee cups.
K, I hope you finally got to open that hair salon you always wanted. He took back the purse you gave me for my birthday a few months before we broke up, but I bought the same one as a gift to myself when I got a raise because I loved it so much. You really had an eye for giving gifts that matched everyone's personal style perfectly.
You all showed me the beauty of maternal love, even if it was borrowed and temporary, even if it was never really meant for me. That feeling is something I will carry with me always. I treat myself a little bit kinder because of you.
Thank you for that a thousand times over. I miss you.
submitted by puddinglala to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
So each of you, in your own ways, be it bringing me gifts, making Sunday crepes for me (you even sifted the flour, and vehemently refused to let me do the dishes), or inviting me to family gatherings (where I was always made to feel like a true member of the family), filled the void that my own mother left in my heart. Your kindness, your warm hugs and smiles, your genuine care—these were the things I had craved and longed for my entire life since my childhood. Through you, I experienced the most nurturing and pure love that I had only been able to dream of.
I have learned that love and acceptance can be withdrawn seemingly as easily as they were given.
Of course, I don't blame you for that. Things happen. Not every love story is a "happy ever after" and I understand that most mothers will just about always "choose" their sons. But I would be a liar if I said it did not hurt me to think of at times. Naturally, it hurts to lose someone you once saw a future with. Strangely enough, though, through the passage of time, I have mourned my connections with all of you the most.
J, I hope your retirement is as amazing as you wanted it to be and that you’ve found continued joy in your gardening hobby. I loved trying your little tomatoes with you. I can only imagine how gorgeous your garden must be now.
H, I hope you’re still making your incredible food. Your lovingly-made food was always the highlight of your visits, and I think of you every time I've had crepes since. I miss "reading" each other our fortunes at the bottom of the coffee cups.
K, I hope you finally got to open that hair salon you always wanted. He took back the purse you gave me for my birthday a few months before we broke up, but I bought the same one as a gift to myself when I got a raise because I loved it so much. You really had an eye for giving gifts that matched everyone's personal style perfectly.
You all showed me the beauty of maternal love, even if it was borrowed and temporary, even if it was never really meant for me. That feeling is something I will carry with me always. I treat myself a little bit kinder because of you.
Thank you for that a thousand times over. I miss you.
2024.05.19 05:10 DarthMekt Got Fired From My Job Cuz of Unfounded Complaint
Hey guys, I (25M) wanted to post this here and get some advice of what to do next? I have been considering legal action, but I wonder if I have much of a case here. Some key things to note:
"On 5/9/24 I was originally scheduled to work at 2 PM, and was heading into our office on the second floor when Chris, my director, was waiting for me at the elevator doors. At that moment, I did not know he requested to speak with me as I had not checked my messages yet prior to arriving to work. I followed him to a meeting room behind the bar on the casino floor and sat down with him and Kevin, a new Operations Manager that had just been promoted, as a witness. Chris informed me that I was being let go, to my shock. I asked why. He gave me a rather vague answer about how many factors have led to this decision, but he does not believe that I will mesh well with the team long-term and unfortunately it has come to this. When I had first started in my position, Chris and I had only two conversations about my progress and his concerns:
One was with my former superior Paul and Chris about how some of my behavior was a bit distracting to others and while it is good to be enjoying your work, please focus on my work and try to conversate with my coworkers about things relating to the job. I understood that, and took it in stride. I reigned it in and focused more on my tasks at hand and never heard another such complaint.
The second was when I had incorrectly scored an NHL game one night and the mistake was not found out until the next day, causing an all-around headache. I had similar, more minor mistakes in the past, so Chris told me to do better and that while mistakes are bound to happen, to have a better attention to detail. I understood and had improved in the months since that conversation and I hadn't made a mistake like that since.
With these in mind, I said to Chris that he couldn't deny that I hadn't improved since starting my position and my former issues had already been rectified, to which he agreed. So I asked him to give me a more tangible reason behind his decision. He cited my interactions with my coworker Logan made her feel uncomfortable in the office.
Logan is a girl the same age as me and her desk is on the other side of the room. My interactions with her were limited simply because of this fact and the most I ever spoke to her was greeting her when I arrived in the office, as I greeted everyone else, and benign small talk. May 9th is also her birthday, as I had heard from some of her other coworkers, so I even got her a birthday card and a singular cupcake that day.
For the record: I never singled her out in this treatment; in fact many times I had offered snacks or food to fellow coworkers. I even brought in staple snacks in Chinese culture for Chinese New Year this year a few months ago for the whole office to try. I offered them to everyone including Logan, as it is a big day in my culture and unfortunately I had to celebrate while at work. In my opinion, things like reminders of your birthday while at work is a very inclusive gesture and I was actively trying to make our company a better place to work at by promoting a more positive culture by setting an example. I even asked a coworker for his birthday so I could remember when it came around, as I realized I didn't know anyone's birthday yet. I did not mean anything by my actions, if they truly were making Logan feel uncomfortable, and I think some sort of warning beforehand would have been more than fair. If Logan herself was too uncomfortable with saying it to me personally, I could've also have heard it from any of my superiors first.
I made this point in my conversation with Chris; his only reply to me was that some people aren't comfortable enough doing that without hurting anyone's feelings. I feel that there is something more than what Chris told me and Logan's perception of me may not be the only reason I was terminated. And if Logan's perception of me was a deciding factor in my termination, I do not appreciate that treatment or assumptions being made of me simply because I am a man and she is a woman and therefore all my actions are perceived as malicious and/or having ulterior motives."
submitted by DarthMekt to MensRights [link] [comments]
- I live in Nevada, USA, which is a right-to-work state and I was about to complete my 6-month probationary period before I was let go.
- I never signed off on a termination letter or any written statement about what happened
- The company I work for is a private company
"On 5/9/24 I was originally scheduled to work at 2 PM, and was heading into our office on the second floor when Chris, my director, was waiting for me at the elevator doors. At that moment, I did not know he requested to speak with me as I had not checked my messages yet prior to arriving to work. I followed him to a meeting room behind the bar on the casino floor and sat down with him and Kevin, a new Operations Manager that had just been promoted, as a witness. Chris informed me that I was being let go, to my shock. I asked why. He gave me a rather vague answer about how many factors have led to this decision, but he does not believe that I will mesh well with the team long-term and unfortunately it has come to this. When I had first started in my position, Chris and I had only two conversations about my progress and his concerns:
One was with my former superior Paul and Chris about how some of my behavior was a bit distracting to others and while it is good to be enjoying your work, please focus on my work and try to conversate with my coworkers about things relating to the job. I understood that, and took it in stride. I reigned it in and focused more on my tasks at hand and never heard another such complaint.
The second was when I had incorrectly scored an NHL game one night and the mistake was not found out until the next day, causing an all-around headache. I had similar, more minor mistakes in the past, so Chris told me to do better and that while mistakes are bound to happen, to have a better attention to detail. I understood and had improved in the months since that conversation and I hadn't made a mistake like that since.
With these in mind, I said to Chris that he couldn't deny that I hadn't improved since starting my position and my former issues had already been rectified, to which he agreed. So I asked him to give me a more tangible reason behind his decision. He cited my interactions with my coworker Logan made her feel uncomfortable in the office.
Logan is a girl the same age as me and her desk is on the other side of the room. My interactions with her were limited simply because of this fact and the most I ever spoke to her was greeting her when I arrived in the office, as I greeted everyone else, and benign small talk. May 9th is also her birthday, as I had heard from some of her other coworkers, so I even got her a birthday card and a singular cupcake that day.
For the record: I never singled her out in this treatment; in fact many times I had offered snacks or food to fellow coworkers. I even brought in staple snacks in Chinese culture for Chinese New Year this year a few months ago for the whole office to try. I offered them to everyone including Logan, as it is a big day in my culture and unfortunately I had to celebrate while at work. In my opinion, things like reminders of your birthday while at work is a very inclusive gesture and I was actively trying to make our company a better place to work at by promoting a more positive culture by setting an example. I even asked a coworker for his birthday so I could remember when it came around, as I realized I didn't know anyone's birthday yet. I did not mean anything by my actions, if they truly were making Logan feel uncomfortable, and I think some sort of warning beforehand would have been more than fair. If Logan herself was too uncomfortable with saying it to me personally, I could've also have heard it from any of my superiors first.
I made this point in my conversation with Chris; his only reply to me was that some people aren't comfortable enough doing that without hurting anyone's feelings. I feel that there is something more than what Chris told me and Logan's perception of me may not be the only reason I was terminated. And if Logan's perception of me was a deciding factor in my termination, I do not appreciate that treatment or assumptions being made of me simply because I am a man and she is a woman and therefore all my actions are perceived as malicious and/or having ulterior motives."
2024.05.19 05:07 TheSqueeman I am so unbelievably proud of Henya
For someone who had the confidence issues that Henya has spoken about in the past, her personal growth over this past year is honestly incredibly heartwarming to witness: From being incredibly nervous in small collab’s & having self esteem worries to having so many friends regularly hanging out with her from every corner of the VTubing world & achieving her dreams of a full 3D show, she should honestly be incredibly proud of how far she has come
To admittedly steal a quote from a chatter who I can’t remember the name of she has become your Oshi’s Oshi & the world is a brighter place with people like Henya in it
submitted by TheSqueeman to VShojo [link] [comments]
To admittedly steal a quote from a chatter who I can’t remember the name of she has become your Oshi’s Oshi & the world is a brighter place with people like Henya in it
2024.05.19 05:05 Neat-Split-650 Why do I feel this way, I need advice
I don’t understand why I feel so sad when I want to try something that is new for me or something I’ve wanted to do for a while with a specific person but for whatever reason they might end up doing it with somebody else, getting me to the point of not even wanting to mention what I wanted to do anymore, and if they now want to do it, I won’t participate. it’s not that I’m upset at them for doing it without me, I just drop my interests so fast and get really stubborn when it’s my turn to experience it, because I don’t want to do it anymore, but why? If I was exited at first, what happened to make me feel like that.
Example: I wanted to go karaoke with my bf, either only the two of us or our friend group, I’ve wanted that for a while but we’ve never had the opportunity to do so, then he got invited to a karaoke birthday party tonight, I told him to enjoy and to text me if he needed anything, but while he was there, I was crying in my room for hours and I don’t want to go karaoke or even talk about going karaoke anymore, I came up with the scenario where we did go karaoke but every time it just feels like I would not enjoy it at all anymore. Another example is when the Barbie movie came out, I wanted to watch it with him but he didn’t want to, after a couple of months had passed by, once everyone watched it, he offered to watch it with me, but I did not want to anymore, the thought of doing something I once wanted but not anymore makes me feel some type of way I cannot explain. It has happened with so many of my interests and things I want to do but idk why I drop my interests and prohibit myself from doing them in the future, I just don’t want to remind myself that for some reason I couldn’t achieve what I wanted. It’s not like I’m upset at them for doing it without me, it’s not like it was their intention to make me feel this way, I’ve told my bf before so he knows and does his best, but it’s not like im going to tell him “no don’t go karaoke with them because I want to do it” like 1 that’s not how I feel 2 I can’t prohibit him things like this when it’s just a karaoke party yk and I shouldn’t feel this way about it 3 I want him to have fun. I don’t think I’m looking for solutions on how to fix it but it would be nice to know them anyway. I can’t really comprehend the feeling and why I do that. Is this self-sabotage and if so why am I doing that to myself.
I might feel like they won’t enjoy it a second time with me when they’ve done that same activity before.
I feel horrible that I’m thinking that way, I’m not jealous or upset but I do get extremely sad for a while.
submitted by Neat-Split-650 to Advice [link] [comments]
Example: I wanted to go karaoke with my bf, either only the two of us or our friend group, I’ve wanted that for a while but we’ve never had the opportunity to do so, then he got invited to a karaoke birthday party tonight, I told him to enjoy and to text me if he needed anything, but while he was there, I was crying in my room for hours and I don’t want to go karaoke or even talk about going karaoke anymore, I came up with the scenario where we did go karaoke but every time it just feels like I would not enjoy it at all anymore. Another example is when the Barbie movie came out, I wanted to watch it with him but he didn’t want to, after a couple of months had passed by, once everyone watched it, he offered to watch it with me, but I did not want to anymore, the thought of doing something I once wanted but not anymore makes me feel some type of way I cannot explain. It has happened with so many of my interests and things I want to do but idk why I drop my interests and prohibit myself from doing them in the future, I just don’t want to remind myself that for some reason I couldn’t achieve what I wanted. It’s not like I’m upset at them for doing it without me, it’s not like it was their intention to make me feel this way, I’ve told my bf before so he knows and does his best, but it’s not like im going to tell him “no don’t go karaoke with them because I want to do it” like 1 that’s not how I feel 2 I can’t prohibit him things like this when it’s just a karaoke party yk and I shouldn’t feel this way about it 3 I want him to have fun. I don’t think I’m looking for solutions on how to fix it but it would be nice to know them anyway. I can’t really comprehend the feeling and why I do that. Is this self-sabotage and if so why am I doing that to myself.
I might feel like they won’t enjoy it a second time with me when they’ve done that same activity before.
I feel horrible that I’m thinking that way, I’m not jealous or upset but I do get extremely sad for a while.
2024.05.19 05:04 Jaded_Beginning_3201 Is there a proper way to end a long term friendship?
There is context here so thank you for reading. I moved in with my bestfriend of 14 years last September when we were both tired of commuting and got new jobs (smart, I know). The day we moved in we started having some issues concerning me not feeling considered by her. These things included her changing our move in date without telling me first before we actually moved because it better suited her plan to move in slowly, her running late to our move in day appointment and expecting me to wait over an hour for her and telling me it’s okay for me to wait for her, and her telling me my opinion was irrelevant and pointless to bring up after what I thought was a simple conversation that I started after I almost got into a bad car accident and came into the apartment flustered, telling her about it. After all these instances I asked her if we could talk about it as I was feeling really hurt by her and didn’t want to start our moving in on a bad note, especially since I just signed a lease with her. She was very defensive and told me I could say the same things back to her, that nothing she says is personal, and that she’s not going to say “nothing” like I was telling her to do (I never told her that, I just said that some of the things she says to me, I would never say to her). She also said in response to me asking to talk because she hurt my feelings, that I hurt her feelings all the time too but when I asked her what she was referring to she wouldn’t say.
I started distancing myself from her at this point because I didn’t want to get hurt anymore and talking to her lead nowhere except me feeling more hurt and regret about even trying to solve things with her in the first place.
Back in November, I found out my now husband and I were expecting our first baby! We had my first appointment over zoom and the very same day my roommate asked me if I could go to the leasing office or call them concerning a sound she’d been hearing in her room for a few weeks thinking it could be rodents. I told her I normally always help her if I could but at that moment I couldn’t and it would be better if she found out who to contact herself. I could barely give her my full attention that day and also expressed that to her. Me saying no set her off in a way that I’m still in shock about. She told me she couldn’t understand why I couldn’t do it, that she knew I could do it, that she’ll do it but it’s hard for her because she’s busy and she knew I was at the apartment, that it would’ve made more sense for me to say no if she asked me to go drive somewhere and pick something up, and also mentioned that her case managetherapist told her it’s not a big deal to ask when I texted her sorry I can’t help. She also told me I was not genuinely trying to understand what she wanted me to do. All this because I said no, I’m busy. She blew up my phone over the course of 48 hours.
After this we had a blow out where I defended my not having to justify “no”. It was was pretty ugly and I was really rubbed the wrong way. She wanted to talk the next day with her or my younger sister being the mediator, (I told her I didn’t think that was a good idea). I verbalized to her that I wasn’t in a space to talk to her for a while and needed to focus on my family, but that I’d let her know when I was ready to talk. I’m in therapy and realized she went too far and I just don’t want to be friends anymore. I don’t want to be hurt anymore.
It is now May, I’m due in July, and we still haven’t spoken because I’m still so hurt by her and REALLY want to end the friendship. We talk here and there about things concerning the apartment and she even gifted me some baby clothes which I really appreciated and sent her a thank you card. I also sent her a gift for her birthday, her favorite scent. We’re still technically roommates since I’m still on the lease until September but I’ve moved out and live with my husband, I just pay the rent there. I sent her a message in March explaining why I became distant, that I was hurt and needed to focus on my baby, and that if she’s still up for being cordial or finding a resolution I am too but I understood if too much time had gone by. She told me she still has love for me but wanted to take it slow and we haven’t really talked since then. She occasionally sends me memes. It still irritates me whenever I see messages from her.
How do I stop being friends with her without coming across like a jerk? Do I need to send her a message when we’re officially not roommates anymore?
submitted by Jaded_Beginning_3201 to lostafriend [link] [comments]
I started distancing myself from her at this point because I didn’t want to get hurt anymore and talking to her lead nowhere except me feeling more hurt and regret about even trying to solve things with her in the first place.
Back in November, I found out my now husband and I were expecting our first baby! We had my first appointment over zoom and the very same day my roommate asked me if I could go to the leasing office or call them concerning a sound she’d been hearing in her room for a few weeks thinking it could be rodents. I told her I normally always help her if I could but at that moment I couldn’t and it would be better if she found out who to contact herself. I could barely give her my full attention that day and also expressed that to her. Me saying no set her off in a way that I’m still in shock about. She told me she couldn’t understand why I couldn’t do it, that she knew I could do it, that she’ll do it but it’s hard for her because she’s busy and she knew I was at the apartment, that it would’ve made more sense for me to say no if she asked me to go drive somewhere and pick something up, and also mentioned that her case managetherapist told her it’s not a big deal to ask when I texted her sorry I can’t help. She also told me I was not genuinely trying to understand what she wanted me to do. All this because I said no, I’m busy. She blew up my phone over the course of 48 hours.
After this we had a blow out where I defended my not having to justify “no”. It was was pretty ugly and I was really rubbed the wrong way. She wanted to talk the next day with her or my younger sister being the mediator, (I told her I didn’t think that was a good idea). I verbalized to her that I wasn’t in a space to talk to her for a while and needed to focus on my family, but that I’d let her know when I was ready to talk. I’m in therapy and realized she went too far and I just don’t want to be friends anymore. I don’t want to be hurt anymore.
It is now May, I’m due in July, and we still haven’t spoken because I’m still so hurt by her and REALLY want to end the friendship. We talk here and there about things concerning the apartment and she even gifted me some baby clothes which I really appreciated and sent her a thank you card. I also sent her a gift for her birthday, her favorite scent. We’re still technically roommates since I’m still on the lease until September but I’ve moved out and live with my husband, I just pay the rent there. I sent her a message in March explaining why I became distant, that I was hurt and needed to focus on my baby, and that if she’s still up for being cordial or finding a resolution I am too but I understood if too much time had gone by. She told me she still has love for me but wanted to take it slow and we haven’t really talked since then. She occasionally sends me memes. It still irritates me whenever I see messages from her.
How do I stop being friends with her without coming across like a jerk? Do I need to send her a message when we’re officially not roommates anymore?
2024.05.19 05:01 DELFINEON Answering the INC on the Trinity
The trinity is one of the main topics the INC focuses on, and in every argument/debate i've seen is nothing but a misrepresentation of what Christians (Catholics, Orthodox, and Protestants) believe in the Trinity. This thread is for this purpose of denouncing the lies of the INC in regards to this topic.
I will not give everything off in one post so that people will not get turned off with being introduced to a wall of text so as this thread progresses, more content will drop in.
In the Bible, it was called "the Godhead" Colossians 2:9-10 - In him dwells the fullness of the Godhead.
When the INC uses this verse, they are misrepresenting and being dishonest as to what we believe the Trinity to be. We believe the Trinity is 1 God.
Matt 28:19: baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. It says "Name" (singular) not "Names"
John 10:30, I and the Father are one.
John 1:1 - The Word was with God and the Word was God
The Bible shows that there is only 1 God, but it describes 3 different essences of this one God. Therefore since the Bible teaches the Father, Son, and HS to be one God then obvious Isaiah 45:5 is applicable (has always been applicable) to the triune God. Again, go back to the hebrew word for God being "ElohIM".
This is a complicated one, because it will require to understand the nature of Jesus. Being God and Man. When Jesus became man, he took our nature and became submissive to the Father
Hebrews 2:9 - What we do see is Jesus, *who for a little while was given a position 'a little lower than the angels'
Yes, Jesus called the Father God, and likewise God the Father calls Jesus God.
Hebrews 1: 8 - But of the Son he says, “Your throne, O God, is forever and ever.....
Now, the INC posted a "rebuttal" to this https://incmedia.org/does-hebrews-18-call-jesus-god/
First, this Bob guy doesn't explain is what/who that Psalms 45 prophecy is about. It's a Messianic Prophecy, so even back then in Psalms Jesus is already being called God. This INC minister is not answering as to who is that "God" and why is the Father using that prophecy in reference to the son.
V10: HE (God) ALSO SAYS: In the beginning, Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands.
Who is the Father referring to as Lord, who laid the foundations of the earth?
then in v13, “Sit at my right hand, until I make your enemies, a footstool for your feet" This is quoting Psalm 110:1, which begins with "and the Lord said to my Lord, sit at my right hand..." Who is this Lord?
Another reason why this Bob person is wrong is because even the muslims will say Hebrews 1 has the Father calling Jesus God. If you go to the Muslim sub and ask them what do they think of Paul, they will bash him for being a false prophet. The muslims think Paul is the guy who started the belief of the trinity and they use this verse as an example of the "corruption" made by Paul . That is why they reject the NT, that is why they claim the Quran was sent by God --because the NT was corrupted. So even they know what the actual message of this chapter is.
The INC will play games as much as they want, but in the end they have to prove why their church has credibility. They are a church made by filipinos and believed by only filipinos, and they are not only contending with 2000 years of christian teachings but they are basing their stance on a bunch of books that were compiled and translated by churches they consider as "false teachers".
I'll leave this for now, there are other things such as Matthew 24:36 and other verses which i will get through some other time.
submitted by DELFINEON to exIglesiaNiCristo [link] [comments]
I will not give everything off in one post so that people will not get turned off with being introduced to a wall of text so as this thread progresses, more content will drop in.
1) Is the word Trinity in the Bible?
Answer is no. However, this is not a good argument because the word "Bible" and "Epistles" are not found in scripture either. These are words were later made to give a name for certain things taught in the Bible. "Epistle" was made to give a name to all of paul's letters, the word "Bible" was made to give a word for the compiled OT and NT. Likewise, the word "Trinity" was made to have a word for the 3 different persons of God described in the bible.In the Bible, it was called "the Godhead" Colossians 2:9-10 - In him dwells the fullness of the Godhead.
- The word "God" in hebrew is Elohim. In one of James_Readme's threads, I asked him as to what the hebrew word for God is, which he chose not respond to. Here is the reason why, if you read the book of Isaiah, you'll see a class of angels such as Cherub and Cherubim, the difference between the two is that Cherub is singular while Cherubim is plural. Same thing with Seraph and Seraphim. In hebrew, anything that ends with an IM is masculine plural, there ElohIM is plural. God is a plural word.
2) Isaiah 45:5
I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God.When the INC uses this verse, they are misrepresenting and being dishonest as to what we believe the Trinity to be. We believe the Trinity is 1 God.
Matt 28:19: baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. It says "Name" (singular) not "Names"
John 10:30, I and the Father are one.
John 1:1 - The Word was with God and the Word was God
The Bible shows that there is only 1 God, but it describes 3 different essences of this one God. Therefore since the Bible teaches the Father, Son, and HS to be one God then obvious Isaiah 45:5 is applicable (has always been applicable) to the triune God. Again, go back to the hebrew word for God being "ElohIM".
3) Jesus says the Father is my God
John 20:17 - ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”This is a complicated one, because it will require to understand the nature of Jesus. Being God and Man. When Jesus became man, he took our nature and became submissive to the Father
Hebrews 2:9 - What we do see is Jesus, *who for a little while was given a position 'a little lower than the angels'
Yes, Jesus called the Father God, and likewise God the Father calls Jesus God.
Hebrews 1: 8 - But of the Son he says, “Your throne, O God, is forever and ever.....
Now, the INC posted a "rebuttal" to this https://incmedia.org/does-hebrews-18-call-jesus-god/
Brother Bob: So dear friends, who is this prophecy all about? In Hebrews 1:8, Apostle Paul was simply quoting this: Psalm 45:6-7, “to the Son He says ‘Your throne, O God**,**” and you know, it’s in this portion of the verse is why people draw the conclusion and think that God is calling Jesus God. But, let’s go back again to Hebrews 1:8 and include verse 9 with it this time, because that is so very important to do, it reads this way, including verse 9:This is a poor rebuttal.
First, this Bob guy doesn't explain is what/who that Psalms 45 prophecy is about. It's a Messianic Prophecy, so even back then in Psalms Jesus is already being called God. This INC minister is not answering as to who is that "God" and why is the Father using that prophecy in reference to the son.
Now, False preachers, they will only read verse 8, leave out verse 9, You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness; Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You With the oil of gladness more than Your companions.”Verse 9 just proves our point. This isn't implying "another God" but both the Father and the Son to be God. Next, this guy leaves out v10-13 that helps affirm that this entire chapter is showing the Father and Son to be equally 1 God.
[Hebrews 1:8-9 New King James Version]
Brother Bob: So dear friends, it is made clear here in verse 9, that to the son, whom God is referring to, is one who has a God. The true God does not have another God, or else there would be two Gods. Hebrews 1:8-9 is simply, then, an important prophecy about the Son who was anointed with the oil of gladness, and who hates lawlessness and loves righteousness.
V10: HE (God) ALSO SAYS: In the beginning, Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands.
Who is the Father referring to as Lord, who laid the foundations of the earth?
then in v13, “Sit at my right hand, until I make your enemies, a footstool for your feet" This is quoting Psalm 110:1, which begins with "and the Lord said to my Lord, sit at my right hand..." Who is this Lord?
Another reason why this Bob person is wrong is because even the muslims will say Hebrews 1 has the Father calling Jesus God. If you go to the Muslim sub and ask them what do they think of Paul, they will bash him for being a false prophet. The muslims think Paul is the guy who started the belief of the trinity and they use this verse as an example of the "corruption" made by Paul . That is why they reject the NT, that is why they claim the Quran was sent by God --because the NT was corrupted. So even they know what the actual message of this chapter is.
The INC will play games as much as they want, but in the end they have to prove why their church has credibility. They are a church made by filipinos and believed by only filipinos, and they are not only contending with 2000 years of christian teachings but they are basing their stance on a bunch of books that were compiled and translated by churches they consider as "false teachers".
I'll leave this for now, there are other things such as Matthew 24:36 and other verses which i will get through some other time.
2024.05.19 04:59 No-Cow584 What does it mean when a person writes characters, only to make them suffer?
I have a Friend who is a Writter, but not only they never publish any of their stories. When we stop so they can tell the stories tho, it's always about their character's suffering even tho they don't deserve it. They also mention how every character is based on themselves, and I personally believe that's why they're all so perfect, They write them as themselves, but keeps the flaws out and the only way to make the character "interesting" for "The public" is to make them Suffer.
Some friends of them, Me and some of their Teachers have mentioned how they need to stop, but we all just talk about it because of the writing itself. We say people won't be interested in characters that suffer if EVERY character suffers. Is like that quote from Syndrome from the Incredibles (2004) "Everyone can be a super! And when everyone’s super… no one will be."
I personally find concerning because recently I figured this might be related to something more psychological than just artistical and I wanted to talk about it with someone who actually knows a thing or two about the human psychic and not just someone who will agree or disagree with everything I say about it like they do, by saying "The suffering is necessary for character development"
Plus, I don't know if this helps the case or not, But they also have a Fixation for the medieval times, all of their stories takes place there, even tho they don't really care, and still put some phones and technology on them
submitted by No-Cow584 to psychoanalysis [link] [comments]
Some friends of them, Me and some of their Teachers have mentioned how they need to stop, but we all just talk about it because of the writing itself. We say people won't be interested in characters that suffer if EVERY character suffers. Is like that quote from Syndrome from the Incredibles (2004) "Everyone can be a super! And when everyone’s super… no one will be."
I personally find concerning because recently I figured this might be related to something more psychological than just artistical and I wanted to talk about it with someone who actually knows a thing or two about the human psychic and not just someone who will agree or disagree with everything I say about it like they do, by saying "The suffering is necessary for character development"
Plus, I don't know if this helps the case or not, But they also have a Fixation for the medieval times, all of their stories takes place there, even tho they don't really care, and still put some phones and technology on them
2024.05.19 04:54 RealRalphie0511 Feeling Conflicted About My Lifelong Best Friend
Hey all,
This may be a pretty lengthy post. At this point, I’m posting to get the support of others (or the pushback to know I’m in the wrong) because I’m tired of the biased answers my parents and everyone else are giving me, and I need an outside perspective.
I wanted to ask for advice regarding a topic that's really been nagging me. My old friend and I are on a call right now just talking things through, and as someone who was honestly hurt real bad I need to ask for advice about what to do. I can't really talk to anyone else in my personal life about it, as my parents would likely try to make the decision for me
I [16M] was best friends with J [16M] for over 12 years. According to my mother, we met at 2-3 years old when we were at preschool and got along very well, and he was invited to my 5th birthday party. There are so many specific memories I could bring up, which I could never stop writing about, but we grew up together. He was my only friend growing up, being born with a speech impediment that has since been corrected and the label that comes with it. We went through periods where we talked nearly every day and periods where we talked once every couple of months. But we made a lot of memories, and each time it’s as if we never stopped talking.
We created things together, spent holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Years hanging out together, pulling all-nighters. And these are less than 0.1% of all our total memories. It was honestly the most amazing friendship I’ve ever had and will likely ever have, unfortunately.
November 2022 was the two year anniversary of a small Roblox game I created. He had been recording and making videos for the longest time, and I had just released a video to celebrate, which he seemed to be impressed by. Again, it was as if we never stopped talking, but from that period on it was every single day. We had never talked that much, spending weekends together and doing amazing stuff. We even streamed together on YouTube to raise money for charity as part of the Thanksmas event. And he’s in a lot of my videos and other creations.
We pulled each other through hard times. High school, as you can guess, is where romantic relationships begin developing. Whenever I needed advice, he was there, and vice versa. I helped him get through a toxic girlfriend he had, and he found love again.
The only thing that really bothered me was that I was the one who introduced him to ChatGPT, which is an amazing tool if I’m being honest. I’m not mad about that, I’m mad that on my 15th birthday, which I believe is a milestone if I’m not mistaken, he didn’t take the time to write just TWO words “Happy Birthday” that would have been enough, and instead used ChatGPT to generate a birthday card, just smack dab copied and pasted. I brushed it off though, as it wasn’t too big of a deal honestly and only stands out now that the events that transpired have taken place.
This new girl he had, we’ll call S. S is an extremely manipulative girl, very good at it I’ll admit, but our mutual friends at the time, L, C, and K picked up on that, as well as myself. I consistently tried to warn him, but it was no use, and he was beginning to change to the point that it was irritating me to new levels. It’s important to note he confided in me about how unhappy he was yet he stayed and acted as if everything was normal, and appeared upset when I brought up the times he told me he was upset about everything.
Eventually, it got to the point that was all we talked about. S. It was so damn annoying. We couldn’t even have normal conversations anymore. And I wasn’t the only one, as C and I talked about it occasionally.
August 23, 2023. The day my world changed forever. He told me to screenshot messages containing him confiding in me, and send it to her privately. I did so, and she posted it to a group chat containing J, herself, K, C, and myself, and just started berating him. It’s important to note I had previously let her off the hook for insulting my mom, which I never do at all. It’s important to know that I’m not forgiving at all, and when I do forgive, it’s pretty rare. Although I can’t be sure, I believe it may be tied to the fact I used to be so forgiving to the point I allowed people to walk over me in elementary and middle school, and I never will allow that again.
The stuff she said, honestly, if she were not a girl (I would never hit a woman) and she were next to me, I would have knocked out her teeth. Although my mother and I argue from time to time, one thing I cannot deny is that she went through absolute torture to keep me alive when she was pregnant with me, and now I’m a fully healthy young teenager.
So I just started releasing everything, telling her how I felt about her hurting the people I care about and trying to play victim. It’s important to note she used J as a rebound from an ex she was clearly not over (you don’t compare exes 24/7 in a new relationship, guys!) and I previously was not going to call this out at J’s request. However, after she started going after my friends, I just said I would do it. J threatened to block me as a way to deter me (which actually solidified my decision to do it) and it was at that moment I just felt the switch of brotherly love and care (he was practically my brother) turn off in my mind. I could not believe he would threaten to do that for a girl he had been dating even shorter than the amount of time since the summer started, after well over a decade.
He blocked me on Discord after I challenged him to see if he would really follow through or take back what he said, and when I say I blocked him on everything, I mean EVERYTHING. If he tried to reach out to me through even Gmail, I wouldn’t know because it would go straight to my spam folder.
I didn’t know much, but what I did know was that he tried to reach out to me twice through mutual friends, asking for forgiveness. I learned through K what the deal was, at J’s request. A week later, S’s mother found out, and although I will not say specifics, let me just say that I’m not even sure if I can legally say anything without landing myself in a courtroom to testify.
I got a video in my YouTube recommendation tab in November (one of my comments on his videos got over 50 likes or something) about him returning to YouTube and addressing “everything.” I was interested, so I watched the entire thing, and I was surprised that a good third or so of the video was about me. I learned that he was fine the week after because this girl spoke to him (which really says a lot in my opinion) and only after his life went downhill did he realize what he did. He expressed how bad he felt about it, how he missed me, and how it’s worse because he feels like he could have fixed it, as (he claims to have lost me, not the other way around) he didn’t lose me to something like a car accident, or cancer, or some killer disease, and he was essentially pleading with those watching that he lost to reach out to talk about it. I ALMOST reached out, as he said we didn’t have to be friends, but I didn’t at the time.
Now, life has gone by at its normal pace. It was very hard living with it every single day. It's been about nine months since it happened, and we finally talked about the entire thing tonight. The thing is, I really do want to forgive him, but I'm just so anxious. I haven't healed, I'll admit, from what happened and I don't think I ever will. I see a beautiful future, but I'm also really scared that something worse could possibly happen in the future.
I wanted to ask, what would you do? If you were me in this situation, would you try to fix everything, or just leave it in the past?
submitted by RealRalphie0511 to AdviceForTeens [link] [comments]
This may be a pretty lengthy post. At this point, I’m posting to get the support of others (or the pushback to know I’m in the wrong) because I’m tired of the biased answers my parents and everyone else are giving me, and I need an outside perspective.
I wanted to ask for advice regarding a topic that's really been nagging me. My old friend and I are on a call right now just talking things through, and as someone who was honestly hurt real bad I need to ask for advice about what to do. I can't really talk to anyone else in my personal life about it, as my parents would likely try to make the decision for me
I [16M] was best friends with J [16M] for over 12 years. According to my mother, we met at 2-3 years old when we were at preschool and got along very well, and he was invited to my 5th birthday party. There are so many specific memories I could bring up, which I could never stop writing about, but we grew up together. He was my only friend growing up, being born with a speech impediment that has since been corrected and the label that comes with it. We went through periods where we talked nearly every day and periods where we talked once every couple of months. But we made a lot of memories, and each time it’s as if we never stopped talking.
We created things together, spent holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Years hanging out together, pulling all-nighters. And these are less than 0.1% of all our total memories. It was honestly the most amazing friendship I’ve ever had and will likely ever have, unfortunately.
November 2022 was the two year anniversary of a small Roblox game I created. He had been recording and making videos for the longest time, and I had just released a video to celebrate, which he seemed to be impressed by. Again, it was as if we never stopped talking, but from that period on it was every single day. We had never talked that much, spending weekends together and doing amazing stuff. We even streamed together on YouTube to raise money for charity as part of the Thanksmas event. And he’s in a lot of my videos and other creations.
We pulled each other through hard times. High school, as you can guess, is where romantic relationships begin developing. Whenever I needed advice, he was there, and vice versa. I helped him get through a toxic girlfriend he had, and he found love again.
The only thing that really bothered me was that I was the one who introduced him to ChatGPT, which is an amazing tool if I’m being honest. I’m not mad about that, I’m mad that on my 15th birthday, which I believe is a milestone if I’m not mistaken, he didn’t take the time to write just TWO words “Happy Birthday” that would have been enough, and instead used ChatGPT to generate a birthday card, just smack dab copied and pasted. I brushed it off though, as it wasn’t too big of a deal honestly and only stands out now that the events that transpired have taken place.
This new girl he had, we’ll call S. S is an extremely manipulative girl, very good at it I’ll admit, but our mutual friends at the time, L, C, and K picked up on that, as well as myself. I consistently tried to warn him, but it was no use, and he was beginning to change to the point that it was irritating me to new levels. It’s important to note he confided in me about how unhappy he was yet he stayed and acted as if everything was normal, and appeared upset when I brought up the times he told me he was upset about everything.
Eventually, it got to the point that was all we talked about. S. It was so damn annoying. We couldn’t even have normal conversations anymore. And I wasn’t the only one, as C and I talked about it occasionally.
August 23, 2023. The day my world changed forever. He told me to screenshot messages containing him confiding in me, and send it to her privately. I did so, and she posted it to a group chat containing J, herself, K, C, and myself, and just started berating him. It’s important to note I had previously let her off the hook for insulting my mom, which I never do at all. It’s important to know that I’m not forgiving at all, and when I do forgive, it’s pretty rare. Although I can’t be sure, I believe it may be tied to the fact I used to be so forgiving to the point I allowed people to walk over me in elementary and middle school, and I never will allow that again.
The stuff she said, honestly, if she were not a girl (I would never hit a woman) and she were next to me, I would have knocked out her teeth. Although my mother and I argue from time to time, one thing I cannot deny is that she went through absolute torture to keep me alive when she was pregnant with me, and now I’m a fully healthy young teenager.
So I just started releasing everything, telling her how I felt about her hurting the people I care about and trying to play victim. It’s important to note she used J as a rebound from an ex she was clearly not over (you don’t compare exes 24/7 in a new relationship, guys!) and I previously was not going to call this out at J’s request. However, after she started going after my friends, I just said I would do it. J threatened to block me as a way to deter me (which actually solidified my decision to do it) and it was at that moment I just felt the switch of brotherly love and care (he was practically my brother) turn off in my mind. I could not believe he would threaten to do that for a girl he had been dating even shorter than the amount of time since the summer started, after well over a decade.
He blocked me on Discord after I challenged him to see if he would really follow through or take back what he said, and when I say I blocked him on everything, I mean EVERYTHING. If he tried to reach out to me through even Gmail, I wouldn’t know because it would go straight to my spam folder.
I didn’t know much, but what I did know was that he tried to reach out to me twice through mutual friends, asking for forgiveness. I learned through K what the deal was, at J’s request. A week later, S’s mother found out, and although I will not say specifics, let me just say that I’m not even sure if I can legally say anything without landing myself in a courtroom to testify.
I got a video in my YouTube recommendation tab in November (one of my comments on his videos got over 50 likes or something) about him returning to YouTube and addressing “everything.” I was interested, so I watched the entire thing, and I was surprised that a good third or so of the video was about me. I learned that he was fine the week after because this girl spoke to him (which really says a lot in my opinion) and only after his life went downhill did he realize what he did. He expressed how bad he felt about it, how he missed me, and how it’s worse because he feels like he could have fixed it, as (he claims to have lost me, not the other way around) he didn’t lose me to something like a car accident, or cancer, or some killer disease, and he was essentially pleading with those watching that he lost to reach out to talk about it. I ALMOST reached out, as he said we didn’t have to be friends, but I didn’t at the time.
Now, life has gone by at its normal pace. It was very hard living with it every single day. It's been about nine months since it happened, and we finally talked about the entire thing tonight. The thing is, I really do want to forgive him, but I'm just so anxious. I haven't healed, I'll admit, from what happened and I don't think I ever will. I see a beautiful future, but I'm also really scared that something worse could possibly happen in the future.
I wanted to ask, what would you do? If you were me in this situation, would you try to fix everything, or just leave it in the past?