When you had positive results - you don’t need to leave the sub completely. We encourage members to stay – but in a supportive role!

WHAT THIS THREAD IS FOR:

• This thread is to create a safe space for positive home pregnancy tests and beta results for active members of infertility, regardless of treatment type or status, to share their results with the community. Negative results can also be shared in the treatment thread; this is the only place to share positive or questionable results.
• This is absolutely the place to share/receive support for beta hell/limbo.
• We ask that you be mindful of people sharing difficult news in this thread and understand that it's not necessary to provide more than one positive update (a positive on an HPT, a beta rise your clinic finds acceptable, etc.), regardless of your nerves. Most North American clinics will do two betas, and the next step is an ultrasound. Other countries don't do betas.
• Post beta, you can share only bad news, not good or even neutral news. Ultrasound updates may not be shared here unless the results are medically questionable (low fetal HR, empty gestational sac, situations where a doctor has told you to brace for loss). Please keep in mind that this sub only discusses the process of getting to pregnancy and dealing with loss and limbo. Discussion of pregnancy anxieties and general fear of loss is not appropriate here and is best suited to a pregnancy sub like infertilitybabies.
• Symptoms cannot be discussed in this thread. If you have actual reason for concern such as low betas or a questionable ultrasound, that can be discussed in this thread. Spotting or a lack of symptoms doesn't necessarily mean anything, and we ask you take those anxieties to a pregnancy sub.

WHAT IS NOT ALLOWED – comments that do this will be removed

• No drive-by posts. You may only post here if you have participated in the sub’s daily threads before. If you have not your comment on this thread will be removed without comment. If you used to be an active member, but your last comment was a post in results (meaning you are returning from success to tell us about another success), we consider your post a drive-by.
• No ultrasound details (HR, size, twins, singleton etc.) – questionable results are exempt from this
• Do not make a new comment within the same thread – update your previous comment
• It's to share your results not to "say goodbye" or some kind of victory lap or about giving/wanting ~hope~.
• We know good news after infertility and/or loss is hard to accept, and infertilitybabies is a safe space to discuss your anxieties around early pregnancy. This thread is NOT the right place to work out those feelings - it's for results only or support when in beta hell/potential loss limbo.
• Hunger games results, PGT results, etc.
• Questions about early pregnancy that are not directly related to loss signs.
• Comments about pregnancy symptoms (sore breasts, nausea, etc).
• Links to pictures of HPTs (use /TFABlineporn).
• Responding “Thank You!” to every well wisher. Use your best discretion as some comments do necessitate a response, however responding to every person makes this post far too large.

HELPFUL INFO

Click 'view table' on mobile:

For a comprehensive Beta database, check out http://www.betabase.info/ for more information on beta based on DPO (DPO = days post transfer + 3, or 5 day embryo; DPO = Days post Insemination for IUI).
Further info: Human chorionic gonadotropin as a predictor of outcome in assisted reproductive technology pregnancies00512-9/fulltext)
Radiopaedia on Fetal bradycardia
Normal Ranges of Embryonic Length, Embryonic Heart Rate PDF!

You may be interested in posting at /whatworkedforme.
You are always encouraged to share your non-pregnancy-related infertility experiences with people asking questions on the sub and continue to support other community members here on infertility

Wealth Innovations Group is a financial consulting firm that has been gaining attention online for allegedly scamming clients out of their money. Numerous reviews and complaints have surfaced online, accusing the company of being a scam. Clients have reported paying large sums of money for financial advice and assistance, only to receive little to no guidance or support in return. Many have claimed that Wealth Innovations Group promised unrealistic returns on investments and failed to deliver on their promises, leaving clients feeling deceived and cheated.
The website wealthinnovationsgroup.co has been reported as being unresponsive and difficult to reach, further fueling suspicions of fraudulent activity. Clients have shared their experiences of being unable to contact the company for updates or assistance, leading to frustration and mistrust. Some have even reported that their accounts were closed without warning or explanation, leaving them in the dark about the status of their investments. These issues have raised red flags for many potential clients, warning them to steer clear of Wealth Innovations Group and their questionable practices.
In conclusion, the numerous scam reviews and complaints surrounding Wealth Innovations Group serve as a cautionary tale for individuals seeking financial advice and assistance. It is important for consumers to do thorough research and due diligence before trusting any financial consulting firm with their hard-earned money. By learning from the experiences of others and staying informed about potential scams, individuals can protect themselves from falling victim to fraudulent practices like those allegedly carried out by Wealth Innovations Group.
REPORT THEM ON SKYLINE-RECOVERY .CO TO GET YOUR FUNDS BACK
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I think I’m going to be sick and I don’t know who else to talk to about this so I’m sharing it here.
My (21F) father (50M) is a senior high school teacher. So he mostly teaches 11th and 12th graders. Recently he’s been acting really strange like hiding his phone and going out randomly in the day. This is weird bc he’s mostly a home body and he always tells us that we’re “free to check his phone because he has nothing to hide”. He and my mom (48F) have been separated for a long time as my mom works out of country. My dad has a girlfriend (F29) who he’s been with since he and my mom split about a few years ago. However, they haven’t been able to see each other in 2 years because she also lives and works far away from us.
My brother (18M) and I were looking at something our dad wanted to show us on his laptop when he suddenly got a call. It was from one of his students, let’s call her R (18F). We could tell from the caller ID. When he left to take the call we wanted to search something up so we opened his Google chrome. His Facebook was open and we could see his chat with R. She sent him selfies of herself and told him she loved him. He replied back saying he loved her and wished he hugged her longer when they were together yesterday. He also said that he couldn’t stop thinking about how they kissed.
I want to throw up. I have never felt more sick to my stomach. My brother wants us to talk to our dad before telling our mom about it. He thinks our dad is going through a horrible mid life crisis. We both feel like crying and my brother was shaking as he spoke to me. We’ve taken pictures of their conversation to use as proof later. I know it was wrong to snoop but this is disgusting and I can’t stand by it. I feel like this isn’t real and I’m living in a dream

Ministers apologise and return £7,000 in benefits to woman, 93, with dementia
Government ministers have formally apologised and repaid £7,000 to a 93-year-old woman whom they held responsible for running up benefits overpayment debts even though they were told she had dementia and was unable to manage her affairs.
The case, which the minister for disability, Mims Davies, admitted was “disturbing”, was brought to light by the Guardian as part of its investigation into carer's allowance overpayments.
The agreement to write off the debt of the 93-year-old, whom the Guardian has chosen not to name, comes as ministers have promised to try new ways of sharing information with carers to try to prevent them building up months and years of overpayments.
Read the full article on theguardian.com
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DWP confirmed that it is developing an ‘enhanced notification strategy’ to alert carer’s allowance claimants to possible overpayments
Notifications designed to encourage claimants to report changes in income and so reduce the risk of being overpaid.
As part of its policy paper, Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System: Going Further, that was published earlier this week, the Department says (at paragraph 78) -

'In carer’s allowance we are progressing an enhanced notification strategy as part of our existing commitment to improve customer engagement, building on our existing communications with customers. As part of this notification strategy we are considering all forms of targeted contact to find the most effective and efficient solution, such as exploring the use of targeted text messages or emails to alert claimants and encourage them to contact the Department when the DWP is made aware of a potential overpayment.'

The Department added -

'The new strategy will help claimants understand when they may have received an earnings-related overpayment or are at risk of doing so, and will encourage claimants to contact the DWP to meet their obligation to inform the Department of changes in their income and other relevant circumstances. This will reduce the risk of those customers being overpaid.'

Note: having expressed concern that the DWP had 'done nothing' to stop carers building up huge overpayments of benefit despite knowing what people are earning, Work and Pensions Committee Chair Stephen Timms called on the National Audit Office to investigate problems with the carer's allowance system and, in particular, its failure to prevent or rectify overpayments.
Stephen Timms has also written to Secretary for State for Work and Pensions Mel Stride highlighting concerns about the DWP's lack of progress with overpayments since the previous committee's report in 2019. Mr Timms' letter repeats the committee's recommendation that the DWP increase the rate of carer's allowance and goes on to call for the DWP to review both the amount and the cliff-edge nature of the earnings limit and for the removal of the 21-hour study rule.
For more information, see Policy paper: Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System: Going Further from gov.uk
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Carers UK has welcomed the DWP's plans, noting this is the 'minimum' they've been calling for to tackle carers' overpayments. However, Director of Policy and Public Affairs Emily Holzhausen also highlights that implementing the strategy is 'urgent', asks that the whole issue be moved out of being branded benefits fraud, and that carer's allowance be reviewed as it should be 'modernised to reflect the realities of caring'.
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DWP-commissioned research highlights how the carer’s allowance earnings threshold influences decisions about how many hours carers work
Report also makes clear that the Department was made aware three years ago that there was room to improve claimant understanding and possibly reduce mistakes leading to overpayments by improving its communications.
The research, Experiences of claiming and receiving carer’s allowance, explores how and why people claim carer's allowance; their caring roles; experiences of combining paid work and care; and how well claimants understand the rules associated with the benefit. While carried out in 2020/2021, the research has been published today against a backdrop of calls for the wholescale reform of carer's allowance as a result of evidence that claimants who have earned above the carer's allowance earnings limit have been left with large overpayments and, in some cases, prosecuted for fraud.
While the research found that many claimants in employment felt there was a practical limit to the hours they could work, with many saying it was only feasible to be working part-time due to their caring responsibilities, it also found that -

• the earnings threshold appeared to influence decisions about how many hours some people worked. Even though claimants often denied that the threshold influenced their choices, they acknowledged being mindful to stay below the threshold. One claimant felt he had to refuse shifts at work that would take him over the threshold;
• in another example, the earnings limit led a claimant to reduce her hours as her wages increased, and eventually she was working so few hours that her employer felt it was not worth employing her due to her limited availability; and
• some claimants in paid work felt they might work more hours if not for the earnings threshold, and even suggested tapering the carer’s allowance earnings rule to encourage claimants to work more.

Published on the same day that the Work and Pensions Select Committee said that there has been insufficient progress in addressing the problems with carer's allowance that it highlighted five years ago, the research makes clear that the Department has been aware of the issues for some time. For example, it highlights confusion relating to the complexity of the earnings calculation, including how deductions such as childcare expenses and pension contributions are taken account of, and whether wages can be averaged if you earn more in a particular week.
In addition, with the Chair of the Select Committee Stephen Timms having said recently that the DWP has done nothing to stop carers building up huge overpayments despite knowing what people are earning, and the Committee having called on the National Audit Office to investigate the problems with the system, the research found that -

• poor communication on the part of the DWP meant that not all of those that had been overpaid benefit were clear on the reason for the overpayment;
• some said that while they were initially notified or questioned about an overpayment there was then no follow-up from the Department; and
• when the overpayment was initially raised, several claimants felt that they were spoken to or treated by DWP as though they had intentionally committed fraud when the overpayment had been a misunderstanding.

As a result, the research says -

'... there is room to improve claimant understanding and possibly reduce mistakes leading to overpayments by improving communications around eligibility criteria. Since claimants did not engage with the detail of their benefit regularly, possibly only considering it once a year when they received their annual letter, more frequent communications may improve clarity of knowledge around carer’s allowance.'

Other key findings include that -

• most claimants cared for close relatives, with two in five caring for a child (39 per cent), a quarter caring for a spouse or partner (25 per cent), and one in five (22 per cent) caring for a parent;
• caring was a long-term and high-intensity commitment, with half of claimants (52 per cent) spending 65 or more hours caring per week and more than half (54 per cent) caring for between 5 and 20 years;
• only 16 per cent of carer's allowance claimants were currently in paid work, tending to work part- time in lower paid jobs that they were able to fit around their caring responsibilities, with most (81 per cent) working 20 hours or less a week;
• of those not currently in paid work, seven in ten (69 per cent) said this was due to their responsibilities as a carer, with other barriers including a lack of flexible working options, claimants’ own health and confidence issues; and
• there was a lag between starting caring and claiming carer's allowance, with seven in ten claimants (70 per cent) caring for 5+ years, but only 3 in 10 (34 per cent) having claimed carer's allowance for that length of time.

For more information, see Experiences of claiming and receiving carer’s allowance from gov.uk
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Almost 135,000 people currently have an outstanding carer's allowance debt, with more than £250 million owed in total, according to figures supplied by DWP Minister Paul Maynard
DWP Minister also confirms that women represent 68 per cent of those with an outstanding debt.
Responding to a written question in Parliament from Work and Pensions Committee Chair Stephen Timms, Mr Maynard said -

'As of 14 May 2024, the volume of people who have an outstanding carers allowance debt is 134,800 with a total value of £251 million. This figure represents the total stock and as such the total monetary amount may have been accrued over multiple years. Those who have an outstanding carers allowance debt may no longer be in receipt of the benefit.'

Mr Maynard added that -

'Women make up the majority of carer’s allowance claims, and this is reflected in the proportion of those with an outstanding carer’s allowance debt. As of 14 May 2024, there were 42,800 (32 per cent) males, 91,900 (68 per cent) females and 100 (less than 1 per cent) not identified, with an outstanding carer's allowance debt.'

The Minister also confirmed that, as of November 2023, there were more than 991,000 people in receipt of carer's allowance, consisting of around 271,000 (27 per cent) males and 720,000 (73 per cent) females.
Mr Maynard's written answer is available from parliament.uk
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Total value of benefit overpayments in 2023/2024 increased to almost £10 billion, representing 3.7 per cent of benefit expenditure for the year
New DWP figures also show that official error underpayments remained at around £1 billion, and that people could have claimed more than £3 billion more 'if they had provided accurate information about their circumstances'.
In Fraud and error in the benefit system: financial year 2023 to 2024 estimates, the DWP calculates how much money it overpaid or underpaid as a percentage of total benefit expenditure for the year (£266.2bn) - for benefits including universal credit, housing benefit, personal independence payment, employment and support allowance and pension credit - and how many claims were paid an incorrect amount.
Note: the statistics no longer include estimates of claimant error underpayments as these are now published separately, as confirmed in recent DWP guidance.
In relation to incorrect payment rates across all benefits for the financial year ending (FYE) 2024, the figures show that the total rate of benefit expenditure overpaid was 3.7 per cent (£9.7bn), compared with 3.6 per cent (£8.3bn) in 2022/2023. In addition, the total rate of benefit expenditure underpaid was 0.4 per cent (£1.1bn), compared with 0.5 per cent (£1.2bn) in FYE 2023.
Looking in more detail at the figures for individual benefits, the statistics include data showing that -

• for universal credit, expenditure increased to £51.9bn in 2024 with an overpayment rate of 12.4 per cent (£6.5bn) and underpayment rate of 0.3 per cent (£180m), compared to expenditure of £43.4 bn, overpayments at 12.7 per cent (£5.5bn) and underpayments at 0.6 per cent (£240m) in FYE 2023;
• for personal independence payment (PIP), the overpayment rate was at the lowest recorded level of 0.4 per cent (£90m), compared with 1.1 per cent (£200m) in FYE 2023. However, the underpayment rate went up to 0.4 per cent (£80m), from 0.3 per cent (£60m) the previous year;
• for pension credit, the overpayment rate was 9.7 per cent (£520m) in FYE 2024, compared with 6.8 per cent (£330m) in the previous year, with underpayments remaining unchanged at 0.3 per cent (£50m) for both years; and
• for housing benefit, almost £1bn (£980m) was overpaid in FYE 2024 (6.3 per cent of expenditure), compared with £860m (5.7 per cent) in 2023. Underpayments remained stable at 0.4 per cent of spending (£50m in FYE 2024 and £60m in FYE 2023).

In addition to the fraud and error statistics, the DWP has also issued Unfulfilled eligibility in the benefit system: Financial Year Ending (FYE) 2024, in line with its decision to remove claimant underpayments from its main fraud and error estimates. The new statistics set out the percentage of benefit expenditure that could have been paid to people with unfulfilled eligibility 'if they had provided the correct information', and show key findings that include -

• the unfulfilled eligibility rate for 2024 is 1.2 per cent of expenditure (£3.1bn), compared with 1.0 per cent (£2.3bn) in the previous year; and
• universal credit, PIP and disability living allowance (DLA) account for around three-quarters of the total value of unfulfilled eligibility (at £730m, £870m and £750m respectively in FYE 2024).

The DWP highlighted that -

'PIP has the second highest unfulfilled eligibility rate [4 per cent] of all benefits and fairly high expenditure [£21.6bn], so due to this combination, PIP accounts for around one-quarter of total unfulfilled eligibility in FYE 2024. DLA has the highest unfulfilled eligibility rate [11.1 per cent] but relatively low expenditure [£6.8m], so even though its rate is higher than PIP, it accounts for a similar amount of total unfulfilled eligibility in FYE 2024. Universal credit has a lower unfulfilled eligibility rate than DLA and PIP [1.4 per cent] but its high expenditure means that it also accounts for a similar amount of total unfulfilled eligibility in FYE 2024.'

For more information, see Fraud and error in the benefit system: financial year 2023 to 2024 estimates and Unfulfilled eligibility in the benefit system: financial year 2023 to 2024 estimates from gov.uk
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Work and Pensions Secretary Mel Stride has set out the DWP's plans to scale up its 'fight against fraudsters'
New measures include using machine learning to detect and prevent fraudulent claims, as well as introducing a new Bill to enable benefit fraud to be treated like tax fraud.
Issuing a written statement in the House of Commons on 13th May, Mr Stride said -

'In the continued fight against fraud, today the Government will publish a new paper setting out the progress we have made in tackling fraud and error in the welfare system - Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System: Going Further. The paper sets out the progress we have made in delivering the commitments in the Government's 2022 command paper Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System and it demonstrates where we are going further to protect taxpayers’ money from fraudsters.'

Highlighting that the Data Protection and Digital Information Bill, currently before Parliament, will enable the Department to work with third parties such as banks to identify claims that signal potential fraud and error, Mr Stride says that the new measures being introduced include -

• bringing forward a new Fraud Bill in the next parliament to treat benefit fraud like tax fraud, by providing for the ability to make arrests and conduct searches and seizures by warrant;
• exploring a new civil penalty to punish fraudsters, potentially broadening the scope of cases that can receive a penalty when the courts are not prosecuting, and increasing the value of the civil penalty;
• tripling the size of the Targeted Case Review programme to reach almost 6,000 staff with the aim of saving £6.6 billion by 2027/2028; and
• making changes to universal credit including new partly automated checks on self-employed income, new online prompts for claimants to re-declare their circumstances (such as if they have moved in with a partner), and increasing checks on capital when people claim the benefit to ensure they are eligible.

Note: the Department confirms that final decisions on accepting or stopping a claim will, however, continue to be made by a member of DWP staff.
For more information, see DWP updates Fraud Plan from gov.uk
In response to the above article the Disability News Service reported that the government's fraud policy paper ignores coroner’s concerns over review of disabled woman’s universal credit claim. Read the DNS article on disabilitynewsservice.com
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Less than half of legacy benefit claimants who were sent a migration notice between July 2022 and March 2024 have made a claim for universal credit, according to new figures from the DWP
However, new DWP statistics also show that 60 per cent of households that claimed universal credit have been awarded transitional protection.
In Completing the move to Universal Credit: statistics related to the move of households claiming Tax Credits and DWP benefits to Universal Credit: data to end of March 2024, the DWP sets out figures for the period since July 2022, noting that -

'In the period covered by this bulletin, the vast majority of migration notices have been sent to tax credit households whose likelihood of claiming universal credit and receiving transitional protection may be different from DWP legacy benefit claimants, the majority of whom had not yet been sent a migration notice in the period covered in this bulletin.'

The statistics include that -

• a total of 824,050 individuals (in 540,070 households) were sent migration notices up to March 2024 - up by around 300,000 and 200,000 respectively compared to the totals for December 2023;
• a total of 400,940 individuals (49 per cent of those sent migration notices), living in 275,980 households, have made a claim for universal credit;
• of households that have claimed universal credit, 166,860 (60 per cent) have been awarded transitional protection;
• a total of 238,990 individuals who were sent migration notices are still going through the managed migration process; and
• a total of 184,120 individuals who were sent migration notices have had their legacy benefit claims closed.

Move to Universal Credit statistics, July 2022 to March 2024 is available from gov.uk
Note: the DWP has also published Universal Credit statistics, 29 April 2013 to 11 April 2024­ which show that there were 6.7 million people on universal credit in April 2024 (300,000 more than the 6.4 million in January 2024) and that half of households on universal credit that received a payment in February 2024 included children.
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Department for Communities also confirms that claimants in receipt of other legacy benefits will be issued with migration notices 'in the coming months'
The Department for Communities (DfC) has confirmed that the 'Move to UC' rollout in Northern Ireland has expanded this week to include people receiving tax credits along with housing benefit.
Announcing the expansion of the process, Deputy Secretary of Work and Health at the DfC Paddy Rooney said -

'We continue to take a measured and carefully managed approach to migrating legacy benefit recipients to universal credit. We have already successfully completed issuing migration notices to tax credit only recipients and we will continue to take every step possible to ensure that everyone receives the help and support they need during this next phase of Move to UC.'

The Department also confirmed that once it has issued migration notices to all those receiving tax credits with housing benefit, the following groups will be contacted in this order -

• people claiming income support;
• people claiming housing benefit only, and those claiming child tax credit with income-related employment and support allowance (ESA); and
• people claiming income-based jobseeker's allowance.

In relation to the bringing forward of managed migration for ESA and ESA/housing benefit claimants in Great Britain, announced by the Prime Minister on 19 April 2024, the DfC says that it is working to assess the impact of this on the region. It also confirms that it will align with the DWP's aim to complete the migration of legacy benefit claimants to universal credit by March 2025.
For more information, see Tax credit with housing benefit recipients next to 'Move to UC' and Rollout of Universal Credit for Tax Credit and Legacy Benefit customers - screening from ni.gov.uk
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57,000 adverse universal credit sanction decisions were made in January 2024, according to new DWP statistics
DWP statistics also highlight that around 95 per cent of decisions are as a result of failure to attend or participate in a mandatory interview.
In Benefit sanctions statistics to February 2024, the DWP reports on both the rate and duration of sanctions for universal credit claimants who are in conditionality regimes where they be applied.
Key findings include that -

• in February 2024, 30.1 per cent of claimants were in conditionality regimes that were subject to sanctions and, of these, 6.52 per cent were sanctioned - down 0.64 percentage points from the previous quarter;
• over the last year, 94.9 per cent of adverse sanction decisions were for failure to attend or participate in a mandatory interview; and
• in February 2024, there were 20,000 completed sanctions in the 4 weeks to 13 weeks sanction duration band, 4,800 in the over 13 weeks to 26 weeks duration band, and 4,000 of over 26 weeks duration.

In addition, while the total number of claimants in conditionality regimes where sanctions can be applied has remained largely stable since May 2022 (currently at 1.95 million), the total number of adverse sanction decisions stood at 57,000 in January 2024, the highest since March 2022.
The DWP notes that -

'Comparisons with universal credit prior to February 2024 ... should not be made. This is because the data sources, methodology and rules of the benefits differ from those used for universal credit currently.'

However, it adds that, following the reinstated duration measures and rate methodology improvements, the data is now determined stable and fit for purpose and, as of May 2024, it is published under the 'Official Statistics' label as opposed to 'in development'.
For more information, see Benefit sanctions statistics to February 2024 from gov.uk
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DWP has admitted missing multiple opportunities to record the 'vulnerability' of a disabled woman whose death was later linked by a coroner to failings at the heart of its UC system
The Disability News Service reported on the case of Nazerine (known as Naz) Anderson, from Melton Mowbray, who died of an overdose in June last year, after receiving a UC review notice.
According to a prevention of future deaths (PFD) report sent to the department by coroner Fiona Butler, the DWP missed six opportunities to record Anderson’s “vulnerability” on its IT system while it was reviewing her universal credit claim, and had failed to act on the mental distress she showed in phone calls about her claim. It also repeatedly failed to act on requests to direct its telephone calls and letters to her daughter.
The DWP admits multiple universal credit failures before disabled woman’s death article is available on disabilitynewsservice.com
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Number of emergency food parcels distributed across the UK by the Trussell Trust has increased by 90 per cent over the past five years
Food charity reports that it distributed more than three million parcels last year, with more than a million of them going to children.
In Emergency food parcel distribution in the UK: April 2023 - March 2024, the Trust says that it distributed 3,121,404 food parcels, the most parcels that it has ever distributed in a financial year, representing a four per cent increase on last year's record-breaking numbers for 2022/2023 and a 94 per cent increase since 2018/2019.
The charity also highlights that the number of parcels provided to children has continued to rise, exceeding 1.1 million in 2023/2024, and that food bank support is provided disproportionately to children, compared to the proportion of children in the UK population. In addition, it notes that pension age households are increasingly likely to need to use a food bank, with food bank support for these households having more than quadrupled between 2018/2019 and 2023/2024 (an increase of 345 per cent), compared to an 81 per cent rise amongst households without someone of pension age.
Also sharing statistics on the reason for referral for an emergency food parcel - which include health, benefit issues, work hour changes, insecure housing, changes in personal circumstances, immigration status and domestic abuse, as well as income and debt levels - the Trussell Trust says -

'Across all households the most common reason for referral was due to issues with income and debt levels. The vital role of the social security system in driving these trends is clear from the fact that the majority (78 per cent) of people referred to food banks were reported to solely have income from the social security system, with a further 8 per cent having earned income as well as income from social security.'

Trussell Trust Chief Executive Emma Revie said -

'It’s 2024 and we’re facing historically high levels of food bank need. As a society, we cannot allow this to continue. We must not let food banks become the new norm ... A supportive social security system is the bedrock on which we end hunger for good. Building on this, we need much more effective employment and financial support for parents, carers and disabled people, and action to ensure everyone can have the security we all need to access opportunities and have hope for the future, through more secure and flexible jobs and investment in social housing. Food banks are not the answer. They will be there to support people as long as they are needed, but our political leaders must take bold action to build a future where everyone has enough money to afford the life’s essentials. The time to act is now.'

For more information, see End of Year Stats from trusselltrust.org
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Employment Minister Jo Churchill has provided a House of Lords Select Committee with an undertaking that the administrative earnings threshold (AET) in universal credit will not be increased again without a 'sound evidence base'
However, Minister's evidence to Lords Committee fails to address its dissatisfaction with DWP's explanation for not publishing robust evidence to support previous increases in the threshold.
Further to the Lords Secondary Legislation Scrutiny Committee's report on new regulations that implemented a further increase in the AET from 13 May 2024 - that criticised the ‘inexplicable’ lack of data evaluating previous increases in the threshold in September 2022 and January 2023 - the Committee held a one-off evidence session yesterday to question the Minister and DWP officials.
Introducing the session, Committee Chair Lord Hunt acknowledged that the DWP had agreed to share its informal findings supporting its AET policy. However Lord Hunt added that -

'... similar, no doubt to the material that the Social Security Advisory Committee saw but correctly declined, if information is not available to the House and the public, then we feel unable to consider it either.'

The Committee then questioned the Minister about the Department's failure to publish evidence providing an assessment of the impact of increasing the AET either before or after implementing the change.
In response, Ms Churchill highlighted that the Department did publish a randomised controlled trial evaluation in 2018 providing the highest level of evidence on the impacts of increased in-work conditionality that Ministers have had sight of. When challenged that this evidence is somewhat outdated and 'a bit threadbare' - as it has been relied on for three increases in the AET - Ms Churchill indicated that Ministers also had early sight of unpublished research (a Regression Discontinuity Design (RDD) study) that compares the experiences of claimants who are just below and just above the AET.
When pressed on the expected publication dates for this and further evidence, Mr Churchill said -

'I have asked for [the RDD study] to be available as soon as it can be, and the date I was given was spring 2024 ... I would like it out the door as soon as possible, so you have more data ... RDD is the next piece, the next building block and then, the longitudinal study will come through in 2025.'

Concluding the session with a final question, Lord Hunt, speaking on behalf of the whole Committee, said -

'... we're looking for an undertaking from you, not to further expand the cohort until the Department can publish robust evidence of its effects. Are you able to give us that undertaking?

Ms Churchill responded -

'So are you alluding to us holding 15 hours or with this latest laying at 18? Because I could certainly say to you, I think with all confidence that at 18, we want to understand the iterations and make sure that we've got a sound evidence base from there.'

NB - the increase in the AET in January 2023 was based, for individuals, on the equivalent of them working 15 hours per week at the National Living Wage, and this week's increase to the equivalent of them working 18 hours per week.
Despite welcoming the Minister's reply, Lord Hunt went on to say -

'... we accept your undertaking, except we are still as dissatisfied as we were because you haven't provided, in the view of the Committee, sufficient explanation yet. We are awaiting this robust evidence, which I think that we now expect in June 2024.'

The evidence session Regulations to increase the Administrative Earnings Threshold (Legislative scrutiny) is available from parliament.tv
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Work and Pensions Select Committee has called on the government to bring forward proposals to compensate women born in the 1950s who suffered as a result of the DWP's communication failures when their pension age was increased, and asks that it does so in the current parliamentary session
Committee chair highlights lengthy delay and urgency for affected women and calls on government to act on Parliamentary Ombudsman recommendations before summer recess.
Writing to Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Mel Stride, Committee Chair Stephen Timms requests government support for 'urgent action' following the Parliamentary Ombudsman's final report in March 2024 which recommended a remedy based on level 4 of its severity of injustice scale, putting awards at between £1,000 and £2,950.
Mr Timms says that the Committee does not seek to question the Ombudsman's proposal for compensation at level 4, but instead has focused on what a remedy may look like -

'The evidence we received indicated support for a rules-based system. This would be a system where payments would be adjusted within a range (based on the PHSO’s severity of injustice scale) to reflect the extent of change in the individual’s State Pension age and the notice of the change which the individual received. This would mean that the less notice you had of the change and the bigger the change in your SPA, the higher the payment you would receive. While not perfect, the advantages of such a system are that it would be: quick to administer; applying known data to a formula to determine the amount due; and relatively inexpensive (compared to a more bespoke system).'

The Committee's recommendation also includes some flexibility for individuals to make the case for further compensation in the event that they have experienced direct financial loss, for example where a woman whose divorce settlement was less than it would have been because it was based on the expectation that she would receive her state pension at 60.
Mr Timms also asks the government to consider -

'... the need for urgent action, given that the Ombudsman started to look at this issue in 2018 and that every 13 minutes a woman born in the 1950s dies ... Implementing a remedy will need parliamentary time, financial resources, and the data and technical systems only available to your department. It cannot happen without government support. We would ask you to bring forward proposals for a remedy by the summer recess.'

Mr Timms' letter to the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions is available from parliament.uk
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I F18 and boyfriend M18 What should I do with him and do you guys think he is toxic or am blowing things out of proportion?
I need help on figuring out what to do with my current relationship and if he is cheating or gaslighting me into thinking I am a bad girlfriend or overall person.
Hi. I’m an 18F I have been in a relationship for about 1 year and 4 months. I really need advice on what to do about my boyfriend 18M as it’s been a fucking nightmare honestly being with him and his shit, he rarely wants to spend time with me and always has some shitty excuse on why he can’t. Last time I asked he said his dad wouldn’t allow him too. But whenever it’s his friends, he is allowed to do whatever. Respectfully, his father M49, is not fond of me for some obscure reason. Like I’m really good at math and English and I’ll tutor him in those subjects because he struggles with school. But his dad off handily said, that I’m making him fail. When I know for a fact that he plays video games or goes on Instagram reels during class which isn’t my problem. I know this is a stupid reason for why I am considering ending things, but it makes me believe that he is either just slowly leaving me or cheating.plus blaming me for his school work being missing or poor. Last night, he texted me while he was high or something about his mom and my child which we aborted last summer and just told me so many things and told me I am the only person who cares and who he truly trusts . This frustrates me as I was there for him and later after I told him these things in the barrage of messages, he regretted it. Context on this: He went to Dallas to go to one of his dad’s friends graduation on Friday night. The next day after this emotional night of him relaying his feelings of trust and love for me, he ghosts me with a couple of bland texts in between. This was understandable as he said that his great- grandma 62F had blood clots and was staying the night in the hospital. I was completely fine with no text messages and even after awhile of nothing, I didn’t want to call him or message him as I saw that as taking time away from his “family gathering.” He did inform me before he went M.I.A about her stability, but still I worried about it throughout the entirety of that day.Later at about 11, I tried calling him, he ignored it and sent me a text that he just came home from his friends house M16. This bothered me as I was really concerned and cried that something happened to him or his Great grandma, because I had called him earlier and he didn’t pick up about an hour ago. We then fought back and forth about who was to blame for this miscommunication and I said, “fuck you” and that I wanted to break up because the stress and lack of communication/ respect for me was really impacting my mental health. Then the aforementioned text of, “ I Shouldn’t have opened up to you, what a mistake I made.”I understand why I made him feel this way , but Throughout the entire ordeal of my abortion, he never asked about my child or mental health. (He brought this up in conversation), and how I was the bad person for telling him that “ghosting me” when he relayed some pretty serious information on the wellbeing of a family member and never updating me was a very vital to my frustrations and considerations of ending the relationship. During Friday night, I said that he ignored me whenever I would bring up the loss of my child and then told me that during this time I could have talked about it but instead he just told me about his dead mom and I thought that was a super inappropriate time to mention my feelings on my baby. Its honestly pretty crazy to me that he thinks I’m a bad person and that he shouldn’t open up to me anymore because I called him out for miscommunications on the issue of someone being hospitalized, especially considering that his mom died quickly from an unknown issue.

I (20F) met a guy (21M) on Omegle last year. Initially, he talked a lot about his ex-girlfriend and how much he missed her, which confused me because he also mentioned having a crush on a girl from his college, but I didn't think much about it. We added each other on Instagram, and he'd randomly flirt with me. I wasn't interested, so I'd brush him off, but he'd send me blurry selfies and call me when he was drinking with friends.
One day, he asked if I'd date him or if he was my type. I said I didn't see him that way, but maybe if he were in my city, I might consider going out with him. He still continued to talk a lot about his ex, and I just let him rant, seeing him as just a friend.
Later, his behavior changed. He started texting me all day, saving my snaps, and updating me about his mundane activities. He even said he was studying hard to get a job in my city so we could meet. I laughed it off, thinking he was joking.
One night, while drunk, he told me he had feelings for me. I dismissed it, thinking he was just drunk. But a few days later, he confessed again, saying he couldn't stop thinking about me. I told him I didn't feel the same way and that he might still be confusing his feelings because of his ex. He insisted he was over her since we started talking, which wasn't very convincing as he used to talk about her any chance he'd get.
Since then, he'd get mad if I posted stories with my guy friends or don't reply to him on time and left him on seen if I'm in class. I felt guilty and explained things to him just because I didn't feel the same way, and I did not want to hurt him, but it became exhausting. He even asked if I might change my mind in the future. I told him I wasn't sure and suggested we take a break from talking, but he refused, saying he couldn't go a day without speaking to me.
He accused me of giving him false hope and flirting back when I was just being nice. I felt guilty for unintentionally hurting him, but I knew I'd never seen him as more than a friend. I even wonder if he actually has feelings for me or is just settling for what's convenient because he knows he can't get his ex back.
When a guy tells me everything he did with his ex, it's practically impossible for me to develop feelings for him. I'm worried about how to handle this when I start liking someone else and he's adamant about staying in touch and was planning to come meet me even after we had this conversation. I still think he believes that one day I'll change my mind and I'm sure he is wasting his time waiting for me
How do I deal with this?
TL;DR: Met a guy on Omegle who initially talked about his ex a lot. We became friends, but now he has feelings for me. I don't feel the same, but he insists on staying in touch and gets upset if I interact with other guys. Not sure how to handle this situation.

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Hi, this is gonna be a bit long, but let me explain the entire situation so far: Going back about a year or so, I started noticing an elevated heart rate above what I usually would have. I have an apple watch that allows me to check my heart rate, and around this time I started to get notifications that my heart rate was above average (in the 120s to 130s range while resting as opposed to my normal 60-80 range). This happened a few times along with some very minor chest pain / tightness, however after laying down for a few hours / going to bed it would usually return to normal. Around the same time I got diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD and placed on an SSRI to help my anxiety after trying ADHD meds and not liking them. I never really had any incidents with high heart rate after that, so I had assumed it was just anxiety causing it (and that may still be the case). A few months went by and I ended up starting college and got myself a girlfriend. As I ended up finding out, SSRIs, while great, have the unfortunate side effect of erectile dysfunction, so I weaned off my meds so I could prioritize my love life. There were a few incidents after this where my heart rate was above average, but again I just chalked this up to anxiety, as it would usually go away on its own. At one point I went into my on campus doctor's office just to verify my heart was okay after an elevated heart rate the night before, and they gave me an EKG which came up clear. Months go by, and things are fine, besides a slight uptick in anxiety. Unfortunately however, my relationship began to crumble and my anxiety skyrocketed, and we eventually broke up, which led me to talking to my doctor and getting placed back on anxiety medication. However, I really didn't like how SSRI's impacted my libido, so after trying a few more SSRI's I was placed on Buspirone. I love Buspirone, and it's made a noticeable difference on my confidence / reducing anxiety. When I take my full dose at once (30 mg), I tend to get a bit dizzy / nauseous, however when split up into 10 mg taken at breakfast lunch and dinner I have no noticeable side effects. I will say (and I don't know if this is in any way important but I'm just naming everything possible), I have noticed that since stopping the SSRIs and starting Buspirone I tend to ejaculate VERY fast which is abnormal for me, and although I would like to fix that it is not my main concern. Moving on though, after about a month or two after being placed on Buspirone, we get to where my heart problems start. As someone who had never used any substances my entire life, leaving home and going to college gave me the freedom to try new things, and although I know it's not great, on weekends me and my friends will get together and drink or occasionally smoke weed / take an edible. I was worried at first about interactions with my medication, but after some research all anything online could tell me was that I may get drunk faster / more nauseous and dizzy, which wasn't too big of a deal for me. I had tried weed earlier in college and didn't like the way it made me feel, however after being placed on Buspirone I decided to try it again and actually enjoyed the feeling, so I started doing it more on the weekends as opposed to just drinking, which leads us to the incident. Me and some friends had just sat down to watch a movie, and all taken an edible. Time passed, and I started to notice that my heart rate was extremely elevated, way more than I was usually used to. I checked my heart rate, and found that my watch was displaying an average of 160 bpm. At first I thought I was just having a bad high and tried to calm myself. I laid on the floor and put some ice on my forehead, but nothing was helping. I checked my heart rate again and saw that my watch was displaying 190, which really freaked me out as that was way higher than I had ever seen before. I had my sober friend call Public Safety for me, and they came to my dorm room and did a basic check up on me. They said that I had a fever, and when they took my heart rate they got something in the 160s range. Their explanation was that my anxiety, when combined with being high and likely being sick made my heart rate elevated, which made sense at the time. I went into my college's health services to follow up the next day since my heart rate was still elevated (in the 120s-130s range), however they again told me it was probably just anxiety. A few days went by and my heart rate was STILL above average, so I decided to double check with my real doctor off campus. About a day before this I had also stopped taking my medication to see if it could be the cause for my elevated heart rate. The doctors took my vitals and immediately noticed that had very high blood pressure and an elevated heart rate, to the point where they sent in a second doctor to recheck my vitals and make sure it was correct. After talking to me and having me give a run down of my symptoms, they had me schedule an appointment with a cardiologist and told me that if I ever experience chest pain and a heart rate above 100 bpm that wouldn't go down to go to the hospital. I had also told them about how I stopped taking my medication and they told me that that was fine and to tell the cardiologist about it. About a week passes, and I have my cardiologist appointment in a few days. I had been up the night before working on my final exams, so I hadn't gotten much sleep, and besides a breakfast sandwich that I had for lunch I hadn't eaten much either. I had been experiencing chest pain all day, but I assumed it was being caused by my lack of sleep, so after classes I went and took a nap. After a few hours I woke up, and immediately noticed that I still had chest pain. I checked my apple watch, and my heart rate was displaying roughly 90-110 bpm while laying down, which on top of the chest pain made me worried since my doctor had told me that that was cause to go to the hospital. I called my parents to tell them about it, and they drove to the school and had me sit in the car and eat some food they had made to see if it would help at all. However, even after this, my heart rate was still above 100 bpm and I still had chest pain, so my mom made the call to bring me to the hospital. While on the way to the hospital, out of nowhere my heart rate increased to about 170-180 bpm, which freaked me out. We arrived at the hospital, and they immediately gave me an EKG to make sure I wasn't going to drop dead. During this time, I also was shaking a lot and couldn't make myself stop. Eventually they took me into a room and decided to run some tests on me. The tests they did are as follows: BASIC METABOLIC PANEL, CBC WITH DIFF, TROPONIN NH, D DIMER DEEP VEIN THROMB LEVEL, TSH REFLEX, X-RAY CHEST PA AND LATERAL, and ECG-12 LEAD. While I'm not a doctor, from what they told me and from what I can see, everything turned up pretty normal. My potassium was a smidge low, as well as my MCV and MPV, and my Monocyte (absolute) was a tad high, but generally nothing to worry about. The website where I'm viewing my test results display my ECG as abnormal and an attached document says I have left atrial enlargement as well as sinus tachycardia, but they only mentioned sinus tachycardia in the hospital so I assume that it was just the machine reading my test results and giving its own diagnosis. Long story short though, I left the hospital a few hours later, and although I still had a slightly elevated heart rate they said I was fine to go about life normally and to follow up with my cardiologist. Cut to the present, and I just met with my cardiologist a couple days ago. I gave him the general rundown of the above story (but didn't mention the edible as a precursor to the 190 bpm heartrate as my mom was in the next room over and the door was wide open), and after checking my vitals he told me that although I did have an elevated heart rate and high blood pressure, my chest pain probably wasn't a huge concern and that he wasn't too worried it was anything life threatening. He told me I could resume taking my meds (which I had temporarily replaced with ashwagandha supplements while I waited for the appointment and have since stopped taking), and had me wear a little device that monitored my heart rate for 24 hours, which I'm set to return in a couple days. He also told me that when I returned it he would check my results and give me an echocardiogram and go from there. So, with any luck, he should be able to figure things out then. However, I wanted to post this to see if anyone could help me get any ideas on what it could be that I could run by him to help speed things up. I also have a recent theory of my own that I want to hear advice on. I was doing research and discovered that Buspirone, when taken with other medication that increases serotonin, can cause serotonin syndrome. After another google search, I found out that weed can increase serotonin levels. The only hole in that theory is that I stopped taking Buspirone after the initial spike in heart rate / blood pressure but had no noticeable changes. Another theory I have is that it could be some form of dysautonomia, as I fit many of those symptoms. Oh and one last thing, if you can't think of anything in regards to what could be causing my elevated heart rate, I actually would like to know why I'm ejaculating so fast so I can fix it because its gotten to the point where I can't even enjoy masturbating because of how fast I cum.
In case I missed anything, here's a list of my symptoms (although I have no idea if they're all correlated):

• High heart rate (anywhere from 90-190 bpm)
• High blood pressure
• Chest pain / tightness on my left side and does not hurt more when I breath in / out (every now and then pain extends to my neck and shoulder)
• Frequently tired
• Insomnia (could be correlated with the above symptom lol)
• Get out of breath faster than usual
• Anxiety (already had this though)
• Mild depression (probably from my breakup)
• Lack of motivation (probably from my ADHD)
• Very rare and random spasms in my neck
• About 10 pounds weight loss in the past few months
• Headaches (could be from the meds)
• Sexual Dysfunction (extremely fast orgasm)
• Probably something minor that I'm forgetting but if I can't think of it it probably isn't important (will update this list if new symptoms arise)

TLDR: I have a high heart rate and blood pressure and can't figure out why

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Throwaway1209aloq posting in TrueOffMyChest
Concluded as per OOP
Content warning - implied stealthing
1 update - Medium
Original - 31st March 2024
Update - 17th May 2024
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Dumped my girlfriend over a joke and I can't tell anyone or I'll look like a psycho.
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My (23M) Ex (25F) and I were together for just under eight months, and like, we clicked. Got along like a house on fire from the moment we met. We had a lot in common from our morals, to our goals, to our taste in music. My family? Loves her. probably more than they do me. (Mom wanted a daughter so bad she couldn't stand it growing up- 4 sons before she gave up.)
It was probably three months ago now that we had been on the couch while I watched a movie and she scrolled TikTok, (Not a TikTok hate post, scrolling can be fun, I'm just more of a Youtube guy.)
Speaking of showing me videos, she showed me one of a man holding his son, and dancing to a song. She laughed and said something about how good I would look as a dad, which was pretty weird considering as far as I knew, both of us were child-free by choice. (God knows I am.) I tried to take it as a joke, and mentioned that it was "too bad, so sad," she would never know. (I thought she would respond something about how there's nothing sad about avoiding it or something. She has never given me indication before this that she wanted children.)
And she started giggling this like, evil giggle, and said something like "I don't know, it only take's one broken condom." In this like sing-song voice that I'm not even joking gave me fucking goosebumps. The implication was clear in her tone. Like, was she making a joke about poking holes in condoms? To me? For real? I tried to laugh it off, but it made me SO fucking uncomfortable. Like skin-crawling levels of skeeved the fuck out. And after that my sexual interest for her was entirely gone, it's like I processed her as a threat or something. To be entirely honest? My libido in general is entirely fucking gone. Still hasn't come back. It feels like it's hibernating or something, until the scary lady is gone.
I know what you're thinking, "Why didn't you communicate?", and I tried, like a couple times, but when she said "Oh my god, I was kidding you big baby!" but never denied that the joke was about that. I dropped it, and stopped bringing it up. I didn't think it was worth the fight at that point, because while I still do care about her, like, a lot, I do not feel comfortable even going to sleep around her, and there is no way that is gonna mesh with a healthy relationship. If there's no trust, there's no relationship, that's how I feel, right? So I broke up with her, and when I told her, I said it was because I really needed to "focus on myself". Didn't see a point in telling her then - it would have just pissed her off. As is, she seemed to take it in stride, not angry, or concerningly upset, so that's good.
My family is more heartbroken than I am, and I haven't been great. They're begging me to reconsider, not that I would, especially considering there's no way in hell I'm telling them anything, my mother would be beside herself, think 'grandchildren please son, give me grandchildren', but more than that, I know even my dad, who doesn't care about grandchildren, and recognizes that he's more likely to get them from my younger siblings, would call me out for overreacting. So they got the same story she did. It's frustrating, because I know it's no big deal, and a joke, but it had also been upsetting, or sad. .
I know I'm overreacting, but in the moment it felt like my only option, and I really don't want to take it back even if I am. I know you may think I'm paranoid, and I probably am, but I just could not stop thinking about it. After she told that joke, I think it was gonna end one way or another, so I'm glad it ended on decent terms instead of trying to stay and fix everything until I hated her.
Sorry, I'm talking a lot, but Like I said, no one to talk to about this because being unreasonable IRL is like a criminal arrest and I'm trying to avoid another of that particular black mark on my reputation. Anyway. Off to research Vasectomies because I will not be entering another relationship, or becoming any kind of active with anyone until then haha.
TL;DR: My ex made a broken-condom joke and I spiraled so hard I ended the relationship, but that's really embarrassing so I half-heartedly claimed it was for self improvement instead.
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Comments
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Birchbeerisawesome
First of all, you are young, and relationships aren’t always going to work out long term. Also, since you had such a strong reaction to the “joke”, it seems like the vascectomy route is going to be your best path going forward! I’m of the firm belief that if you don’t want kids, definitely don’t risk having them! You will be ok in the long run, stick by what’s right for you!
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maximusultra
If you're 100% child free as a dude fr vasectomy is the legit end game , but you have to do the 3 months of condoms or abstinence but also need to beat the shmeat 20x to clear the mag
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absolutemadwoman
One of the secrets in life is: you can break up with someone for ANY reason.
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Update - 1.5 months later
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Well. I never ever thought I would update, but I have one, lol. Like I thought I had lost the password to this account and everything, but it was saved in the notes on my laptop. This isn't much of an update, but I can say that I did end up telling my friends more about the breakup- after I found out my ex is trying for a baby with her new bf, also her ex.
Also I wasn't stalking her to get this information, I live in a small town, and two of my friends came to me and told me. They said they didn't want me to find out from someone else, but I didn't really care outside of the relief that now I was sure that she wasn't pregnant during the breakup, something that had been giving me nightmares- they calmed down. Apparently both of them thought I would react badly to the information and spiral or something. Whatever.
I know a lot of people said I had taken a joke and overreacted, was a cruel-hearted and evil misogynist trying to control her body and everything else, but this just confirmed to me that she was never joking. I mean, its been a little over two months since the break-up, and she's trying to have a baby.
I'm not angry at her anymore, not at all, in fact I'm happy for her, because if this is what she want's good for her. I just wish she could have told me sooner, so as to not waste either of our times.
I've been working on getting a Vasectomy, but as of now it hasn't happened yet. But as I mentioned in the last post I won't be sexually/romantically active to any degree with anyone but my hand until that's completed. I think I'm lightly traumatized- this is a joke, you can laugh! What else? Uhhh.... I'm thinking about getting a new dog? I have nothing else to add here, but thanks anyway.
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Comments
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granny_weatherwax_
You know what? I don't think you broke up over a joke. I think you broke up over a threat. If my partner joked about getting me pregnant by fucking with my birth control, and I KNEW they wanted to be a parent, I would have a really hard time trusting them again, especially without an earnest apology and a straightforward conversation where they acknowledged why the "joke" would be scary.
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Alien_lifeform_666
Absolutely, 100%, that was a threat. She was effectively telling him that she could arrange to get pregnant if she wanted to, and there’s nothing he could do about it. That’s breakup territory.
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Ok_Budget1724
Interesting perspective - I’ve been begging for an IUD but have made similar jokes in the past - fully anticipating he would be wearing a condom or having plan b effective / an abortion as worst case scenario. I think getting a vasectomy if YOU don’t want children is important. I stopped traditional birth control for health reasons / disorganisation but always let that partner know.

OOP: Yeah, I explained it in the last post to a degree, but I didn't really get into my medical anxiety. I have it a lot, and even when I made my last post I knew I was going to have to get one, because I realized trusting someone else with my future- no matter how trustworthy they may seem- isn't enough. I have never, and never intend to have sex without a condom. Even after the vasectomy, and every woman I've been with sexually has expressed that they are also childfree, and are on birth control of some kind. I am not into taking chances. I wouldn't mentally be able to handle having a child, and I would be a terrible father. I knew it was my time to take it into my own hands after last time, but was still extremely nervous, to the point I was considering becoming celibate, just to avoid the possibility all together.
It was actually the men, and wives of men on reddit who reached out after my last post, and explained that they understood the nerves, and they were natural, but that it really wasn't as scary, or as painful as it sounds. I am very thankful for that, because it helped me to get up the balls (pun not intended), to bring it up with my doctor and start the process. Some even gave me advice on how to deal with the healing process, which I have fully taken under advisement.
I'm hoping that afterword I feel the same way they do: Confused and frustrated with myself as to why I didn't do it sooner.

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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hello! As I stated above, I (26F) have had feelings for (27M) for almost 17 years.
For context to my question, here is a little bit of background:
Over these last 17 years, we have had friendly interactions, but nothing more than that. Nothing flirty or indicative of any sort of interest, on either of our parts.
Growing up, our mothers were friends, so we would be drug along with them to outings together, but when we reached middle school and high school, we never hung out on our own volition.
After high school he moved to another state, while I remained in our home city.
Over the last, I'd say 7 years, our really only interaction has been every year, on our birthday's, we get a text from the other person to say happy birthday and ask how the other is doing with a short text conversation. To this, i'll add, he did mention he put my birthday in his phone calendar so that he doesn't forget it, which I thought was very cute.
We always like each others posts on instagram/ facebook but never any commenting.
I, for the last 6 years was in a relationship, and even was engaged up until last October. My friend had texted me congratulations after I posted about the engagement on instagram. More recently, I was seeing someone we had went to high school with, and to make a long story short, I had texted my friend about this guy as I was seeing. They played sports together in high school and I was curious what he knew about him as he was a very strange guy. All that to say, my friend now knows I'm no longer engaged and am dating.
He was in a relationship with the last post from either of them being in March. And now has single as his facebook status.
Now here is the interaction in question:
2 weeks ago, I graduated from college. He texted me a very sweet congratulatory message and telling me how proud of me he was. This turned into a 3 day texting conversation back and forth. Ending last Saturday morning at 5 am. We discussed his career, my career goals, where he is moving, where I am planning on moving. But very platonic, no flirting or any mildly flirty texts.
We did however express mutual job path interests, and a mutual interest in moving to somewhere where we can buy land and have animals.
And, this following week, he has liked 2 things I posted on instagram/ facebook. But nothing out of the ordinary for him.
So my question here is, is it strange that after years of just birthday texts, we stay up texting until 5 am. Is there anything there? Could he be interested in me, but because I never have acted flirty towards him, he thinks I'm not interested? Or is this just a weird few days of texting we had that I need to get over?
I also understand I could just tell him how I feel but I really do not want to ruin the friendship.
Thank you all in advance!

leaders #science #update #hardware #event #vc #opensource #api #tool #scheduled

Greg Brockman and Sam from OpenAI expressed gratitude for Jan's contributions and outlined their strategy, which includes raising awareness of AGI risks and opportunities, improving safety measures, and preparing for more complex interactions with AI systems in the future. They emphasized the need for rigorous testing, collaboration, and balancing safety and capabilities in AI development, acknowledging the lack of a proven playbook for navigating the path to AGI [1].
NVIDIA and Dell are partnering to transform enterprises at Dell Technologies World, offering sessions on AI, multicloud, edge computing, and more. Attendees can get NVIDIA certified for free and learn about generative AI, NVIDIA AI Enterprise, NIM microservices, accelerated computing platforms, networking solutions, and training opportunities [2]. Leading retailers are using generative AI, offered by NVIDIA, to enhance consumer experiences and improve operational efficiency [3].
Varun Krishna, CEO of Rocket Companies and Rocket Mortgage, discussed the intersection of AI and fintech, as well as the future of real estate in a conversation with a16z [4].
Yann LeCun emphasized the need to first design AI systems smarter than a house cat before controlling AI systems smarter than humans. He compared this to the development of aircraft safety, highlighting the importance of careful engineering and iterative refinements over time [5]. LeCun also discussed the challenge of getting AI systems to understand the world, reason, and plan effectively, acknowledging the presence of hype, hubris, and naivete in the field of AI [6]. He aims to develop AI systems as intelligent as a cat [7] and agrees with Sebastien Bubeck that cats understand the physical world much better than Large Language Models (LLMs) [8]. LeCun also highlighted the sophisticated mental models of bio-llamas that enable them to plan complex actions for survival in the wild [9]. However, he noted that current learning methods that enable LLMs to understand and generate text do not work effectively for natural inputs like images and video [10]. LeCun also discussed the scenario of an intelligent system becoming uncontrollable and posing a threat to humanity, mentioning that this scenario is a common cliché in bad sci-fi but not reflective of reality [11]. He mentioned that they started research earlier and shared their findings openly, allowing others to build on their work [12].
Groq Inc expressed gratitude to everyone and their developer community [13][14]. They are offering improved rates for competitors using Groq at an upcoming hackathon and free API access without the need for credits [15][16]. Groq Inc will have an event next week and will be attending the summit and happy hour, inviting others to come say hi [17][18].
1. Greg Brockman @gdb https://twitter.com/gdb/status/1791869138132218351
2. NVIDIA AI @NVIDIAAI https://twitter.com/NVIDIAAI/status/1791876407166972204
3. NVIDIA AI @NVIDIAAI https://twitter.com/NVIDIAAI/status/1791921725317189920
4. a16z @a16z https://twitter.com/a16z/status/1791899805746348302
5. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1791890883425570823
6. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1791892950999241158
7. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1791899300131188963
8. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1791900825742159958
9. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1791914784134205668
10. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1791915759494459807
11. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1791917610143039945
12. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1791930381291151564
13. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1791696447832043917
14. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1791935718962635241
15. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1791936814108024976
16. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1791937697499779078
17. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1791937823228215402
18. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1791938116699422940

Hey reddit bit of a weird/sad one for ya today. Just a throwaway account and I might end up deleting all this within the week.
Sorry if I get ramble-y and all over the place I'm just shooting off my stream of consciousness. Sorry for the trauma/info dump and any grammaspelling errors.
I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now and we've just started getting more touchy and intimate over the past month or so.We've talked a bit about intimacy the past few months but I have a few personal issues with it.When I dated my ex of 4 years he was pretty pushy about sexual stuff cause we were in a long distance relationship and he was just a touchy physical guy in general, and I've been a good little church girl all my life with no experience.
We did a lot of stuff I probably wasn't ready for. When we first met in person we just went right to making out and oral but no intercourse. This was consensual but looking back I was probably too shy to say no...I haven't been in the best mind space anyway the past few months I guess and haven't been turned on by anything me and my partner have done. I feel more romantic attraction than sexual, but lately there has been a lack of emotion on my side of things. I don't feel anything when we kiss, i just feel like im there, kissing him. As sad as that is to say. It hurts writing that out because i desperately want to feel something, anything. When I'm alone I have no problem getting myself off, I probably prefer it. I like the fantasy of it more than the physicalness. But I just shut down when I get with a partner.
I have a lot of brain blocks from religion (the classic repressed church girl saving herself for marriage blah) I'm still a virgin. I highly doubt I'm ever going to have sex with him honestly... it's not even a marriage thing, at this point I don't care if I get married or not. I'm not sure if I trust anyone enough with my body to feel good or get over the mental barrier that keep me from enjoying sexual things with a partner.
Which brings me to two questions.
Am I some kind of asexual?
Or just low-key traumatized from past pushy experiences?
Or both? (probably :/ )
Well... I mean I definitely don't feel asexual... I believe I have a fearful avoidant/disorganized attachment style. (Self diagnosed)
Fast forward to now with my current boyfriend, he's very kind, sweet and all around gentlemen. He makes me feel safe and happy. I haven't told him much about my ex cause I just want to leave the past in the past.
But I guess over this past month I've just been like low-key triggered when he asks me to touch him?Which brings me to tonight. We were making out for a while and he asks me to touch him and I just can't get into it. I didn't want to say no to him and ruin the mood, I want him to be happy.
Now that im thinking about it I'm started to repeat some of the behaviour I did with my ex... but im more aware of what im doing now... I am a people pleaser, but it's also just a hand job right? Big whoop. The first time I did it I felt a little grossed out when he finished... and the same thing happened tonight when he finished but I felt disgusted and almost gagged by the feeling and texture of it all... I cant get into it mentally. But hey he thanked me and was satisfied right?
No he hasn't asked to make me feel good or anything, I wouldn't ask that of him because it's too embarrassing and I don't think I could get into it... I don't understand why I would be so disgusted enough to hold back and almost gag.
I don't have a strong gag reflex, I had a dog before and never minded picking up after him or cleaning up my baby cousins vomit.
So am I just doomed and ruined to never enjoy sexual stuff reddit? I want to make my partner happy but it shouldn't come of the cost of me feeling the need to push past what I think and feel and need in that moment.
I said yes to a lot of things in the past with my ex because that's what girlfriends do yadda yadda and I'm gonna have to deal with this real soon and have a talk with my boyfriend about why this is a problem for me...
I uh realize this is probably a good talk to have with a therapist about "sexual trauma" and "repression/suppression" and all that fun stuff but that's not really an option at the moment, so I turn to you reddit experts for advice haha. (Yes I realize yall aren't trained professionals but the only people i can turn to atm)
I probably know the answers to what yall are gonna say but any advice would be cool I guess. I can reply to comments below and might update and edit within the week

I guess I'll start off by giving backstory. I am a (18F) college student in a relationship with my boyfriend (18M) who is about to graduate highschool next week. We originally met back in February on a dating app, and we are long distance (of an hour away from each other), and our relationship is a secret from my dad (strict parent). My mom is aware of the relationship however because she is concerned for me getting found out, she limits my hangouts with my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I try to see each other every week, sometimes every other week.
I just want to make it clear: from the beginning of our relationship I have been the one to mess things up. Or that is how (him and me) mostly see it. I think I've come to realize it's because I have a lot of mental immaturity. From what I recall, one of the first arguments we had was my inability to communicate properly with my boyfriend. Such as: texting him small updates or, checking things he would send me on social media and not reply to his iMessage back. Very minor communication. The others were a bit more extreme. One of the more extreme ones stemmed from the whole strict parent thing. See, originally my boyfriend asked me out the first month in which we met. However, I turned him down because although I wanted to say yes, I didn't want to lie about the status of my relationship to my parents. Eventually, I wanted the two of us to become official after a few months of us talking, so I can then introduce him as my boyfriend to my parents. This created a big issue between us, in which he started developing a sense of not having security in the relationship. This would be the cause of many arguments. I think my fault in this was instead of reassuring him and making him feel heard; I would apologize over and over again trying to offer solutions. On his birthday I wrote him a long love letter and I told him I wanted to make things official, the truth is I felt pressured because a week before his birthday we had the same reoccurring argument. We've had a lot of arguments piling since then, many of them having to with me such as: making conversations about his feelings about myself, in which then he feels pressured to comfort me. Our most recent argument was completely my mistake and I recognize this.
About three weeks ago, one of my friends was preforming at my former highschool. It was going to be a concert like event in which students and their rock bands would preform. So I invited my Best Friend (18M) and my Boyfriend. (To clarify, my best friend has been my friend for 7 years and he is gay, this doesn't have to do with my best friend being a man; my boyfriend himself is comfortable with our relationship.) I had not seen my boyfriend for a week or so prior to this event and so I would constantly tell him about how I miss him and how I was looking forward to see him, hence why I invited him. Before the event started, the three of us (me, Boyfriend, and Best friend) decided to go to a cafe to get a drink since it was a 5min walk from my former highschool (where the event was being held). I thought I was giving him attention by being affectionate in holding his hand, trying to include him in conversation, and clinging to his arm would be enough: showing my boyfriend that I missed him. However, when we walked back from the cafe to line up outside the event, I noticed he was going quiet and even got out of line to sit down at a nearby bench. When we entered the event, us three sat down and my Boyfriend put his head down immediately. I knew from that, that this wasn't his vibe. After the first two songs, he got up and left (with letting me know) and went back to his car. I asked him if he was okay, and he just told me he wanted to lay down. The event was three hours, I stayed for the first hour almost two, before receiving a text from my boyfriend. In which he said "should I just leave", so I left the event and went to his car to talk to him. He told me that he felt unappreciated especially because I said I had missed him so much, that I didn't even say "thank you baby for driving an hour to be here". We ended up talking this out and we went to dinner after. The reason why I am bringing this up is because my best friend was actually quite annoyed at this. This week, me and my best friend went out to Koreatown which we were talking about my boyfriend. My best friend brought up his behavior from the event, and demonstrated the way my boyfriend had his head down expressing how annoyed it made him feel that I left early, and even missed some of my friend performance which was the reason why I went. I made the mistake of mentioning this to my boyfriend. He got extremely upset, and took my best friend as mocking him and disrespecting him, he got mad at me for not defending him. This was a very big argument. My boyfriend has expressed and even shown throughout the arguements we've had, that he is losing his patience and feels as though I am abusing him ;"Let me continue to beat you mentally and ask for forgiveness with no promise of a promising future for myself in change (he told me this)". Lately, although I should have been doing this from the beginning have been trying to put my best foot forward in changing attitude, I've been trying to be more supportive and not making conversations about myself, in making sure that he knows that I understand him, however I keep messing up and its very frustrating to me.
I've talked to my therapist and my own mom about my problems, because I really want to stay with my boyfriend and I really want to change. My last relationship I was sexually and verbally abused, and although me and my boyfriend have a lot of problems he really is the best and the first person I have seen a future with. I sometimes struggle with the trauma from my last relationship, which is why sometimes I get scared of expressing myself (my ex would call me stupid or a manipulator when I expressed myself so I get scared of retaliation). My boyfriend gets sometimes frustrated when I explain this because he tells me "well I'm not him and you know that".
Although I love this person, I don't know whether to break up with him or not. We have both stayed with each other because we want to work things out, however as he has expressed to me and I have noticed: this creating an unhealthy environment and he feels like he is in an unhealthy environment. I never want to keep my boyfriend in an environment in which he feels unsafe and not happy. To clarify, I am willing to work things out with him through and through. But, lot of the time I worry because of the several arguements we have had, that he is not happy but yet he stays. I cry a lot and I feel terrible. I never open to my mom about things ever but, I did the last argument because of how terrible I feel about it all. I feel like I'm not enough. I find myself trying but even I know my efforts aren't enough for this relationship. Any advice will help which is why I've taken it to here. I can't fully explain my whole relationship and timeline of events but hopefully this was enough information (if not I will try to update this) thank you if you read this.

Introduction

Welcome, summoners! The top lane in League of Legends is a battleground of skill, strategy, and resilience. This guide is designed to elevate your top lane gameplay, focusing on mastering lane control, understanding matchups, and making strategic decisions that affect the broader game.

Understanding the Top Lane Role

What is Top Lane? Top lane is one of the three lanes on the Summoner’s Rift, characterized by its isolation and the dueling nature of its gameplay. This role often involves tanky bruisers or split pushers who can have a significant impact on the game through individual prowess and strategic macro play.
Why Master Top Lane?

• Significant Game Influence: Though often isolated, a winning top laner can dictate the pace of the game through split pushing and teleport plays.
• Dueling Mastery: Top lane matchups are critical, and mastering them can lead to significant advantages.
• Versatility: Top laners need to be versatile, capable of carrying, tanking, or providing utility depending on their team’s needs.

Core Skills for Top Lane Mastery

To excel in the top lane, focus on these essential skills:

• Matchup Knowledge: Understand the strengths and weaknesses of common top lane champions and how to play against them.
• Wave Management: Master the manipulation of minion waves to control the lane, secure farm, and deny your opponent resources.
• Map Awareness: Maintain vigilance over the map to make informed decisions about when to push, when to retreat, and when to join team fights.

Advanced Top Lane Strategies

Elevate your top lane gameplay with these advanced tactics:

• Split Pushing: Learn when and how to effectively split push, drawing pressure away from your team and securing objectives.
• Teleport Usage: Optimize your teleport usage to make game-changing plays across the map.
• Resource Management: Balance your farm with your need to support your team during critical moments of the game.

Building Synergy with Your Team

Effective coordination with your team is crucial, even from the isolated top lane:

• Communication: Keep your team informed about your lane status, teleport cooldown, and potential roaming opportunities.
• Adaptive Strategies: Adjust your gameplay based on the overall team strategy, switching between aggressive plays and defensive posturing as needed.
• Impactful Team Fighting: Know when to enter team fights and how to position yourself to maximize your impact, whether you’re peeling for carries or diving the enemy backline.

Utilizing Tools and Resources

Maximize your top lane potential with external resources:

• Replay Analysis: Use replay tools to review your lane phases and decision-making to improve your gameplay.
• Guides and Tutorials: Stay updated with the latest top lane strategies and champion guides from experienced players.
• Coaching: Consider personal coaching to get tailored advice and insights specific to improving your top lane performance.

Conclusion

Dominating the top lane requires a blend of individual skill, strategic understanding, and teamwork. By mastering the nuances of this role, you can become a pivotal player on your team, capable of turning the tide of battles and securing victories.

Call to Action

Are you ready to dominate the top lane and carry your team to victory? Check out our advanced guides and coaching options on our website. Join our community discussions to learn, share, and grow with other top lane enthusiasts. Elevate your top lane game today!

Hi everyone,
I would like your opinion on my blog/domain name. My current and updated blog under construction is at http://acy.wxk.mybluehost.me/blog/. My previous site (that I created for a course but am modifying for use) that I am in the process of moving from wordpress.com to wordpress.org is bethsmith.blog/blog. Bethsmith.blog is the domain I intend to use and /blog is the subdomain. You can look at both sites to get the feel of my brand/presence I want to convey.
Since I also want to have this be a professional site for branding/linked in purposes, I went with bethsmith.blog. I toyed with bethsmith.com, but 1) I'm not a store and 2) it's a premium domain and like $6000/year from GoDaddy. Do you think bethsmith.blog/blog is confusing? I also considered bethsblog.blog, but that's confusing as well! I plan to launch it by end of summer (once I finish editing, getting professional photos done, switching my domain over to bluehost, and working on SEO and analytics. I might also have someone from my local WordPress group review it for me.
I tried to capture my personality and where I've been and where I want to go. I plan to write articles every other week and share on LinkedIn and Facebook (thinking about creating a Beth's Blog page on Facebook to share from). I also frankly am creating this to help with branding for jobs, as I'm a contractor and not sure when it's ending. I figure this will give me a leg up on the competition. Any other advice is much appreciated! Thanks for your time.
Beth

Alright y'all. This post is ongoing (updated as we learn more) and is for separating perceived fact from perceived fiction. We will compare things from the show that happened differently in real life and/or in previous productions by Richard Gadd. Nothing will be posted unless there is a source - but remember, only a handful of people lived these experiences and only they know the truth. "Martha" will not be used as a source but her views will be made known here, and will continue to be made known every 5 minutes when she posts on facebook.
Please feel free to help me by using the comments when we learn something new - I will add them to the OP. I am trying my best to make this accurate and fair for you established users of this subreddit and for new users who are unsure about everything. :)
Baby Reindeer 2024: Martha was charged, convicted, and imprisoned for stalking Donny & his parents.
Real Life: Did not happen. Richard Gadd dramatized this for the show. “it is resolved. I had mixed feelings about it — I didn’t want to throw someone who was that level of mentally unwell in prison.”
Baby Reindeer 2019: Did not happen in the play
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/richard-gadd-i-was-stalked-for-four-years-8r2vdpd9r
NOTE: While The Guardian previously reported that Richard Gadd had obtained a restraining order against Martha, they have since removed that from their article. They still have multiple tidbits about the show incorrect in the article.
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2024/ap18/i-was-severely-stalked-and-severely-abused-richard-gadd-on-the-true-story-behind-baby-reindeer
Baby Reindeer 2024: Donny combed through Martha's messages to find threatening instances for the police.
Real Life: True.
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/richard-gadd-i-was-stalked-for-four-years-8r2vdpd9r
Baby Reindeer 2024: Donny has an emotional meltdown onstage, confronted by the weight of the trauma of his sexual assault and the anxieties of being stalked by Martha.
Real Life: Did not happen exactly that way. This scene represented multiple monologue's in Richard Gadd's real-life comedy show "Monkey See, Monkey Do" which he wrote about his struggles with masculinity after being sexually assaulted, and the "Baby Reindeer" theater show.
https://thetab.com/uk/2024/04/23/whether-richard-gadd-actually-had-an-onstage-breakdown-like-in-baby-reindeer-362752
Baby Reindeer 2024: Donny is groomed and sexually assaulted by a comedy writer we know as "Darrien."
Real Life: Although only Richard Gadd and "Darrien" know the details, In "Monkey See, Monkey Do" Richard does not give details of the assault, choosing instead to focus on the aftermath and his struggles with masculinity and sexuality afterwards. In that show, he mentions being drugged and raped at a party.
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/theatre-dance/features/richard-gadd-baby-reindeer-interview-stalking-martha-bush-theatre-london-tickets-a9145996.html
Baby Reindeer 2024: Donny dates a trans woman named Teri, but their relationship does not survive the weight of the anxiety and issues caused by Martha's stalking and Donny's internal issues.
Real Life: True
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2024/ap18/i-was-severely-stalked-and-severely-abused-richard-gadd-on-the-true-story-behind-baby-reindeer

I find it worth noting that Richard Gadd is forthcoming about the instances above being dramatized for the show

Hi I need some feed back from the community.
I had a crush on girl back in H.S. 1992-1996 we have friends in common. She tried many times talking to me but I was shy to talk her because I really like her. We live in the same area and used to play handball with same people. She tried to say hi which I successfully did say hi sometimes. One time I was with my father a clothing store were she waiving at me but not until was told my father to say hi. I think she like me back then, but was shy to talk to her. She left with her family to Florida in 1995 but she came to NYC and used to see her sometimes she would smile but again I was timid. 1996 I heard she had become a mom. I was sad but I thought I had to move on. After I finish college in 2000 I joined the Navy in 2000-2004 during that time I became extrovert dated some girl, then I got married but lasted two years. I always thought about the crush I had in H.S. When through hardship and the only person that brought me comfort my crush. I then finish my time in the Navy in 2004 quickly join the Army in 2004-2008. I met second wife which at point she was pregnant with my son. At that time we were not married. Also, in the Army when through some hardship my only comfort was my crush and not my girlfriend (soon to become wife). I got out the Army in 2008. My wife at the time my girlfriend never understood that I need time to readjust we separate and the only person who help was my father. I got married in 2013 and got divorce two years ago. In 2008 I joined Facebook and found my crush tried to ad her a friend but I think at the time she was married she never answer. I did send to messages telling her how I felt and telling her that the hardship that I had in the Navy and Army, that I always tough of her and was the only tough that made happy. Second message told her about my feelings and never again message her and left alone. 2009 I started a import business and doing wholes of sock and phone accessories. While all this I finish my second bachelors in accounting 2011, then also when on finishing my Masters in Accounting and Finance and obtaining my CPA. 2013 my girlfriend got married and since we had our son wanted to give a shot to work thing out. I was able to buy a restaurant from a family member and then open another one in PA. I got divorce in 20022 we share responsibilities with my ex-wife for the restaurants that we owe . I always tough about my crush used to look her up from time to time nothing else. I started posting on my Facebook pics me how a look now and make a few real from H.S with my pictures and the 2 months ago I went on Facebook look my crush up and send her a friend request I tough we are 46 we are more mature she has not block or accept the friends request. I'm only following her the cancel request is grey out. Last week I build courage to like one of her posting. I know in her posting she mentioned not having a husband and having a small daughter. I tough there 2 options 1 she blocks or 2 she says notices me. A week later she takes her posting down and then a few days later she changes her profile picture. I was going to like her new picture, I guess she change her setting where only friends can like her new posting or pictures. So I muster the guts and send a message telling her that her hair and eyes look beautiful. I have a gut feeling that she read my message even though in my messenger still say sent. She hasn't block me or anything like that so I really don't know what to think. She still letting me follow her, but sometimes I wish she would block me so it would be easier for me to move on. I'm trying to make sense of this.
I'm just want people though since is hard for me to talk to someone. I tell myself let it go but have to give a shot. Maybe it work maybe not I just have to know. Thanks everyone for the feedback.

This case was very big here in Quebec (Canada) but I don't think it has ever been discussed on this sub before. I'm glad there was an arrest. Lots of women felt uncomfortable walking/biking by themselves in the months after the crime - and probably even longer than that.
\Obligatory "English is not my first language" disclaimer, sorry for any formulation that could accidentally be weird or insensitive.*
The crime
On October 21st 2014, Jenique Dalcourt, a 23 year-old woman, was found badly beaten on a bike path in a park in the heart of Longueuil, a city generally considered as a suburb of Montreal. She was walking back from work in the dark when the attack happened.
Shortly after the attack, a man called 911 to report that he found her, and performed CPR on her while talking to the agent.
She died of her injuries.
The investigation concluded that she had been beaten with a steel bar and was sexually assaulted.
In the days following the murder, tree branches were cut and new lighting was installed to improve security on the bike path.
Two days before the crime, another woman was sexually assaulted about half a mile from there, also walking alone at night, by a man that brought her by force in his car. The police was publicly criticised because they did not seem to take her deposition seriously and did not broadcast the information to the population.
The main suspect
Four days after the murder, the police arrested a man and tried to bring him to court, but they didn't have enough evidence to get him charged.
A year later, in October 2015, they tried and failed again to get him charged.
At that time, the suspect wasn't named, and we didn't heard much about the case afterwards.
The recent development
This week, on May 14th 2024, almost 10 years after the murder, the police arrested once again the same man, and this time, they successfully got him charged for first degree murder.
Michael McDuff Jalbert, now 35 (26 at the time of the murder), was the man who called 911 that night.
We don't know exactly what allowed the police to make progress in building the case. They simply said it was linked to forensic science.
Jenique's family is relieved that a suspect is finally brought to justice. Both her parents were in court to see him get charged.
Michael McDuff Jalbert denies that he killed Jenique Dalcourt and says he now «regrets» stopping to help her.
He will stay in prison awaiting his next appearance in court, scheduled for July 19th.
Other information
Since Michael McDuff Jalbert was charged, additional information surfaced about him, but not from police sources (this info all comes from media outlets, sources below).

• He was apparently a client of Jenique (her place of work is unclear to me).
• During the years, he talked to various family members about the event, saying he was covered in blood when the police arrived since he was performing CPR on the victim. Everyone in his family apparently thought he was innocent.
• Many persons from his family told to the media that he had a mild intellectual disability and that it was unlikely, to them, that he could successfully lie to them about an event like this.
• Ex-girlfriends of Michael talked to the media and said they were surprised and shocked by the arrest. Some described a man that was romantically intense, jealous and that showed some anger.

The trial will continue during the summer, so I will try to update this post.
Sources
(English) General news article about the charges https://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/longueuil-family-finds-closure-10-years-after-jenique-dalcourts-killing
(English) Footage from 2014 showing the scene and branch cutting https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/video/c2922855-2014-archives--jenique-dalcourt-found-dead
(French) General news article about the charges + chronology https://www.journaldemontreal.com/2024/05/15/meurtre-de-jenique-dalcourt--le-suspect-sera-accuse-bientot
(French) Article covering the appearance of Michael in front of the court + reactions from his family https://www.journaldemontreal.com/2024/05/15/meurtre-de-jenique-dalcourt--laccuse-regrette-de-setre-arrete-pour--laider
(French) Article in which the fact that Michael was a client of Jenique is mentioned https://www.tvanouvelles.ca/2024/05/15/meurtre-de-jenique-dalcourt-lhomme-arrete-aurait-toujours-ete-le-suspect-numero-1
(French) An article about two ex-girlfriends of Michael McDuff Jalbert https://www.noovo.info/video/meurtre-de-jenique-dalcourt-je-nen-reviens-pas-davoir-sorti-avec-un-gars-de-meme.html
(French) News broadcast about the woman who was sexually assaulted two days before the murder https://ici.radio-canada.ca/info/videos/1-7237987/longueuil-une-autre-femme-attaquee-avant-meurtre-jenique-dalcourt?isAutoPlay=1

TL;DR: Ordered bike wheels on AliExpress with a 20-day shipping estimate. After the seller requested a delay to 19-25 days for production, I canceled the order. However, the status later reverted to "will ship in 3 days," raising concerns about the validity of future shipping updates. What should I do?
I bought some bike wheels from AliExpress and the order said that around 20 days it would ship. Today it said 3 days until it would ship and then I get a message from the seller saying to extend the delivery because since their wheels that it would take around 19 to 25 days to make and ship. So I just message back saying that it would be better for me to just cancel the order because waiting that long for me isn’t really convenient and I figured I could since it didn’t ship yet. So I hit the button to cancel order and after around an hour or so I see that it changed from order cancelled to order will ship in 3 days. Is it possible for the seller to cancel a cancelled order(if that makes sense). Im worried that when the timer runs out the seller will resort to giving me a fake tracking number. What should I do?

*Not last Sat - May 8th - about a week and half ago.
EDIT: I should add context for the uninitiated: The old coupon barcode standard (called 8110) that is used pretty much everywhere in retail is being replaced with a new system called 8112. This is mandatory and the old system will be sunsetted. Hedera will act as the fully auditable transparent public ledger layer - making fraud impossible (coupon fraud is massive). Each coupon will trigger two or three HCS transactions. All parties involved will instantly be aware of the status of any coupon. TCB is The Coupon Bureau, an industry created non-profit that has been organizing the entire switch to 8112 which has been taking FOREVER.
Not sure if someone posted about this already but check this out:
https://update.thecouponbureau.org/announcements/tcb-version-2-0-0
You can read the summaries of all the changes in the Overview sections. A lot of them seem to be very significant changes that obviously were requested by users. The narrative we've gotten from TCB so far has been that retail has been slow to adopt, which is probably partially true... but gauging from the extensive overhaul that is 2.0 - the system might have not been ready. There are some very fundamental changes in here.
Here's an interesting part:
"The TCB team has conducted thorough load testing of the platform, and we're thrilled to share that we've achieved a throughput of 6200 transactions per second. The comprehensive load testing results have been made available at https://perf.thecouponbureau.org. Below is an image illustrating an overview of the load testing outcomes."
If you click that link you can see all the different kinds of calls that could be made (and would be mirrored on Hedera)
Other tidbits:
The mobile 8112 coupon app Gitsy that was developed by a former Hedera employee was updated a day before 2.0, on May 7th. (thanks Jeep)
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spectivlabs.bndl&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1
Also remember Toshiba POS systems (capturing 60% of the US retail POS market and 80% of Latin America) announced they are 8112 ready last Jan. https://www.pr.com/press-release/903848
Is TCB at the cusp of 8112 going live? We will have to wait another 35 years? Will I actually be able buy discounted TP and have it recorded on HCS for all time??
I've been hoping this use case could be the digestible crypto utility that might actually break through to MSM, so we could one day finally get the sell signal of random boomers asking, "have you heard of this HBAR thing?"