Tight feeling in neck

everyone I just want to vent about something
I am 16 years old and after a very toxic relationship I soon became very depressed it was a very serious depressive episode I would say I was in my bed just rotting for all of October 2022 is when it started and really that depression took a while to curb and is now back from my arthritis symptoms. I had completely lost my appetite and really, I would eat nothing all day. I don’t know how I did it, I had nearly 7 seizures last year.. but I was so extremely depressed from such toxic people who were still trying to crawl back into my life. I’ve almost lost or I have lost 20 pounds in a year from the depression. I was always perfectly fine for my whole life.. I don’t know how to feel this is really hard for me mentally. I feel disabled I feel like my opportunities are reduced. I feel like as if I’m still struggling with the denial. So my parents definitely noticed my weight loss last year but didn’t really do anything to help me like take me to a doctor and I also didn’t advocate for myself as I was in so deep into my depressive episode so I can also blame myself I guess. But that’s what my problem is.. my mother blames me for my arthritis and everyone in my life is denying at the moment I think everyone is in shock as well. I got into an argument with my father a couple days about something petty and I had told him my arthritis has given me a short temper and made me an angrier person, he said you don’t have sh*t and it made me feel very invalidated and angry and I told him the first stage is denial maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words but I know he might just be in denial and hurt as well as my dad so I am not thinking about what he said too much. My symptoms really started Nov 2023 once in the morning I was brushing my hair before school and I felt a very tight pain in my wrist when I had moved my hand a certain direction because my hair is curly and needs a lot of maintenance, I knew this was a big red flag as I had never felt that before. Then the real pain started the joint pain, aching, dullness, burning, tense pain I feel deep in my bones that i know is arthritis 💔 I am so scared and worried for my future . My symptoms were the worst in winter, where my body would hurt all the time in the cold!! I dropped from 115 lb to almost 96-97 now i know I am unhealthy and doing my best to gain it back I am also 5’1. Also, whenever I move in class my body pops so extremely loud.. to have arthritis at this age in the school setting is so incredibly humiliating and confusing and difficult… I always have to crack my knuckles to ease the pressure built in them after I’m done writing, sometimes I feel the worst of all is I’ve lost my beautiful body that people used to compliment me on, I have genetic cystic acne and wear glasses so it really was the only thing that did make me feel good enough which hurts me to say. I wonder when I go to school what people think of me, I’ve even lost my best friend and friend group because I’m not beautiful like them anymore. It sounds stupid but it’s true my hair being very short due to the shrinkage in curly hair does make me look a bit ugly I have short hair now but it’s growing as i try to gain weight.. how i feel is what is the point of life if I am always suffering 💔 and why me💔 my parents can’t afford even clothes and food for me now they have to buy me medicine i don’t even think they are taking me seriously unfortunately… as the oldest daughter in an immigrant household they always expected me to know how to raise myself and now when i need them they aren’t here😔 it’s hard to write in class and even stay awake, i was always a sleepy person but arthritis is a different.. exhaustion. I feel as if there’s nothing to live for, I am emotionally drained and numbed I almost feel like I’m losing it sometimes. I wish we had a support group for very young people dealing with arthritis because I feel like my life is robbed from me but i only have myself to blame I guess 💔😔

Hello,
We got a Britax romer dualfix pro chair and we do not like how our baby is positioned in it. It does feel comfortable and safe for the back and especially for the neck. It looks like the reclining angle is not big enough and the baby almost sits. When he felt a sleep, the head dropped forward and was moving side to side on every turn.
In the instructions the base of the seat is leaned forward a little bit, but in our case the baby seat base is leaned back, that's probably why the angle is not enough. Is it possible the seat is not suitable for our car? Any suggestions?
The baby is 6 months old and 9kg.
Here are the photos: https://imgur.com/a/HKvihtD

What happened to me was fucking hot. I don't have much of a sex life outside of my marriage, but when I'm out of my home area, I log into grinddr and feeld to see what guys or couples are in the area.
Last Thursday, I was at the mall, which is more than 20km from home, and I started chatting with some guys, for a while, until I ended up chatting only with a young and versatile guy. First he sent me some photos of his penis, ass and body, and I sent him mine. Until then, everything was normal, but then, I gave him access to my private photos and he accessed mine. That's when I realized what a mistake I had made. He was a boy who lives near my house in the same street, with his parents, with whom we have exchanged a few words, and surely he would also know me and my family. I didn't know what to do, so I just wrote sorry F...(his name) and he replied Hello M.... (my name) I apologized to him, and asked him to forget this, to which he replied that now who had seen me was more interested in us meeting in person. I froze for a moment, because he is young, because he knows my wife, and because then I would be forced to see him almost always. But on the other hand, I thought about the photos that he had sent me and I liked that ass with little hair and that long, thin penis. In the end I told him to come home on Saturday morning since my wife has a class with activities for her and our baby.
I am 46, I was excited but afraid. He is 19 years old, he arrived that morning also a little nervous, it could be seen in his voice, I invited him in and then I told him we should go to a TV room, I asked him if he wanted something to drink and he was speechless. , I told him that I was nervous too, I took his hand and put it on my penis, over my pants. This was the key that unlocked everything, he began to rub me harder and his mouth kissed me, his tongue searched for mine and I let myself go. My mouth also kissed him and I liked how his tongue tangled with mine. My cock was already feeling his grip and it was already hard but rolled up under my pants. While we were kissing, I took out my cock and his. My cock was already erect, pointing towards him, colliding with his flaccid cock, I hugged him so that our bodies made complete contact and I kissed him. I felt his mouth on mine, our tongues together, I felt my hands on his buttocks, gripping them tightly, his hands on my buttocks, our breasts were in contact, our bellies, our penises, our feet... it was an incredible sensation. . Then I kneeled down and put his flaccid penis in my mouth. I licked it, sucked it, and jerked it off. His cock was getting big and hard but after a few inputs and outputs of my mouth he moaned and cumed up inside my mouth. He apologized, but I caressed his buttocks and I continued sucking his cock while I swallowed his cum until his cock stopped pulsing.
I stood in front of him and we kissed again. This sensation is very strange, I have kissed very few men and in general I have not felt anything. This young boy's mouth was different, it excited me. After kissing his lips, I guided him down with my hands until he was kneeling in front of me. He just looked at me, this made me get even harder. I grabbed his head with one hand, my cock with the other and brought it closer to his mouth, he opened it a little and part of my cock went in. Now both my hands were holding his head while the tip of my cock was in his mouth. Little by little I was sinking my cock deeper into his mouth, although part of it didn't fit. I fucked his mouth for a while and then I released his head and sat on the living room couch. He didn't waste any time, he walked on all fours towards me and continued sucking my cock.
After a while, I told him to lie down on the couch, I sucked his cock and balls again, but they were still flaccid, I raised one of his legs and then the other, and licked his ass, this one is clear and has little hair along her slit and around her ass hole, it was delicious, I licked it, I kissed it, I put my tongue in, then I put a finger in... My cock wanted it, it was very hard. I put on a condom and lube while I continued licking his ass hole.
I felt how his ass hole throbbed and opened with my tongue. I brought my cock closer to his ass hole and inserted the tip and a bit more. I felt how his anus tightened and imprisoned 1/4 of my cock inside. At this moment he told me "slowly, it hurts, it's the first time I've been fucked." "Calm down baby" I told him, I brought my face closer to his and kissed him while I let my cock out. I put the boy on his side and I behind him, I caressed him from behind and I put a lot of lubricant on his hole, until I felt that he relaxed and was opening to let my fingers enter with lubricant. I put the tip again at the entrance of his anus, and this time I went very slowly, millimeter by millimeter, I found no resistance, he moaned while my penis little by little was already more than half inside, then until his buttocks were completely leaning on my lap, with my entire penis inside her beautiful ass.
One of my hands held his hip while the other grabbed his head and leaned it towards me, to kiss him while he fucked him. I fucked him slowly at first and increased the intensity, I felt how his buttocks were hitting my legs, how the walls of his anus were squeezing my cock. I didn't last long, I cummed on her ass intensely, we stayed in that position for a while, until my penis came out, with the condom a little loose and hanging. I sat down and he settled down, staying next to me, lying facing me. I was captivated by the way he looked and his young body. His penis was still flaccid, I leaned over to caress it. He apologized for not having an erection and he told me that he was nervous, he also said that this was his first time being fucked by a man and that he had been incredible, that he had liked it a lot. At 46 years old, I had had the honor for the first time in my life of taking someone's virginity. While we were getting dressed, I told him that if he liked it, we could do it again another day. Before leaving the house, he came up and kissed me, with his tongue searching for mine, I opened the door and he left. Should I do it again? Until now this game with other men was just that, a game. This boy has something that attracts me. On the one hand he scares me and on the other hand he excites me should

ok so, bit of a background, I’ve had eczema only when I was a child but around the age of 3/4 it disappeared completely, it was mostly for a dust mite allergy and never had it again, until just a random neck flare up in march 2021(I was 16) (it disappeared without doing anything after some days) then, randomly, in November 2022 I started having flare ups on my neck and around my eyes but just as before they disappeared in some days maybe a week without applying anything, another flare up came back around February 2023, I saw a dermatologist, he prescribed me a mild topical steroid (advantan 0,1%) and disappeared once again, I sometimes just had random patches of dry skin on my neck or face but no sign of eczema, summer went great, but then around octobeNovember 2023 came back also in places I’ve never had it before and since then it has never left me, I did everything, removed fragrances, bought all the specific products for eczema prone skin, did some rounds of topical steroids, I had maybe some days or weeks where my skin was so great like I never had eczema but sadly it always came back. I took the prick tests and everything came back negative, also blood test still for allergies and were all negative, I have the patch test scheduled on last week of may, really hope to find out I’m allergic to something so this shit will go away. my eczema usually disappeared in spring so I was so happy about april and may coming but sadly this year my skin said Hell naw. tried lots of moisturizers, many didn’t work and some did help, but only with dryness. It’s really exhausting since I have it mostly on my face and neck, I do have some random patches on my arms , bigger ones on my inner elbows, but everywhere else my skin looks great, but my face, neck and shoulders look so terrible, it’s spreading on my face, steroids seem to not work anymore, it’s hard having a social life and keeping my relationship with my boyfriend healthy while I feel ugly, dirty and powerless. just so u guys know I do smoke and I noticed my eczema starting to worsen when I mostly switched to heated tobacco cigs (iqos), and also when i started taking the combined pill as birth control, also I really had a stressful life and fought against mental health for a long long time, finally doing better and then boom the universe wanted me to suffer some more (funny how when I had so many problems with my mental health my skin was literally perfect) looks like I’m finally fine and my body is expelling all the stress?? literally going crazy trying to understand my triggers or what’s causing it. also alcohol makes it so itchy I’ll sadly have to skip my glass of wine lmao If anyone wants to see the pics I’ll send them! I’m really looking for some help it’s getting unbearable and I do kind of sense the depression kicking back in. If anyone has read all of this thank you, and for everyone going through this, I hope you’ll finally heal<3

I've applied to so many fucking jobs. I had a decent one with Cracker Barrel, left it because I was training at a better one. After two days the new job told me they had to cut my hours. Then that they didn't have room for me. They knew I fucking quit for them. They encouraged it.
I couldn't get my old job back. I miss having money. Even just a little bit. My mother keeps loaning me money. I've never felt like more of a leech. Less of a person. My chest feels tight every night when I lose the distractions I needed. I do nothing but eat. I eat when I'm bored, when I'm sad.
Nobody will hire me. I don't know why. I don't know what they want. Most people don't even say no, they just leave me hanging. I actually had a phone interview scheduled with Burlington Coat Factory and they never picked up the phone.
I'm so close to breaking. I'm so close to ending it. I'm so close to giving up. I wanted to be a mortician. But if this is too much for me, how can I go to college? How can I put effort in?
I wasn't made for this world. I was born to die young. I turn 20 in July, and I don't want to be there for it. I'm so tired of being angry and upset all the time. It's all I feel. Stress, dread, rage, apathy. It's all I feel.

Hey guys
I just woke up thinking I swallowed an object like a pencil, small plastic cap, or something long and sharp. It scared the crap outta me because I couldnt help but swallow when I was waking up "choking" and needing to breathe. I was in a complete panic that I almost screamed to wake up my family. I didnt scream, but started spitting and then didnt know what to do. This has actually happened over 10 times this year and its so stressful. Should I go to the ER? I dont feel anything in my body but it REALLY felt like an object was in there and its now in my stomach and going to kill me. Im so freaked out. But the fact its happened multiple times kinda points to the fact that its just panic and the brain tricking me. Its insane though. Im terrified to ever seriously choke or swallow something foreign.
I got tested for sleep apnea and its not likely they said.... however I do have a throat lump / tightness sensation 24/7 and all tests showed my throat being normal.

I am very afraid of irreversible changes in my body; I have even read that chronic urinary incontinence can occur after childbirth. I'm also afraid that if I don't regain my tightness, my husband won't want me as much. I apologize for being so direct; I’m in the early stages of pregnancy and everything feels overwhelming.

Iv moved from your eyes to your lips.
Iv touched you more then i should have. But you never pushed me off.
It's more then your beauty that holds me. But it is hard not to stare at you. I watch your lips. Your eyes, your neck. I look at the way you walk the way you carry yourself. I fell in love with every aspect of you.
I fell in love with you.
I can't kill this feeling. Iv tried.
Iv been obsessed and in love with you more more every second.

I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web
Man, I am pumped to tell you chronically online content addicts my story. Wait is that too mean of an intro? Will this get taken down for harassment since I painted too accurate a picture of the people on this site? Sorry, everyone, I’m sure you all smell like an expensive bakery and have touched grass this morning. Anyway, I promise I have something interesting. It even involves the dark web you uncreative writers cream yourselves over! I mean, totally real people speaking about their strangely similar experiences. Okay, fine I’ll stop bullying you through the screen before you click off.
This all started when I was seven years old and my parents were killed in front of me in an anti-indigenous hate crime, but let's be real you don’t care. I’m just some annoying Cherokee kid with dead parents so I’ll skip to the good parts. I spent years in an orphanage, gradually becoming more interested in death and violence. As bad as it is, I went out of my way to expose myself to that content in the hopes of desensitizing myself. Which ended up working too well, since now I’m obsessed with causing and viewing pain, though I don’t find any joy in hurting myself.
I got adopted at twelve and after a few months of staying at my new family’s home on the reservation, I went with them to a state sweatier than the average Reddit user, California. Long story short, both of my caretakers, whom I referred to as Uncle and Auntie because they could never be my parents, died. Leaving me in the care of their older son, who I call cousin. I’m not stupid enough to give up any real names, so I’ll call him Brick, cause he’s as dumb as one. He was in his early 20s when he was tasked with taking care of me and is the world’s worst excuse for a babysitter.
I’m almost always alone at the apartment, with him only coming by to drop off supplies and stay for a few hours so the neighbors don’t get too worried. Unless I get in trouble at school, then he’d suddenly give a shit. It's useful because he doesn't about the gory stuff I look at, but some display of interest would be nice. Oh well, ninety percent of the population sucks so he’s just part of the majority. Now, with that said, you’ll be able to understand the perfect storm that led me here. During my time on the deep web, I found a particular website that caught my eye. They had new footage relatively consistently and they were the easiest for me to access since I didn't go too far into the dark web, especially with all the honey pots lying around.
I even bought a couple of files for myself to study and admire. One thing irritated me though, the cameraman. He was always sobbing, breathing, shaking, or some combination of those. It seriously killed the vibe of the killings. Something I commented on under many videos, often saying I would do a better job filming. A choice that in hindsight was me asking to end up in one of those recordings. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was mostly the only one who commented but I was sure they wouldn't care. I was embarrassingly wrong.
I was staying up like usual, but it was past one AM on a school night, and back then that was a lot so I tried to sleep. Closing my eyes, tossing and turning, the works. I had just started drifting off when I heard the front door open. I remained calm but immediately found it weird since Brick never showed up this late. The thuds of the individual's feet grew louder as they got closer to my bedroom. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a stranger, especially since they got in with ease, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
They hummed as they opened my door. My dumbass had left it unlocked. I remained on my side, trying to look like I was asleep. They turned on the flashlight of their phone, shining it in my face. It was hard but I stayed still while they traced it over my features. I could tell they were smiling as they clicked their tongue.
“Heh, I knew it was a brat,” they whispered to themselves, pulling tangles out of my hair. Something I struggled not to groan from. They pulled up the hair over my ear and got so close spit got on my ear lobe.
“I know you’re awake kid,” they murmured, putting a blade to my neck. I let them grab my shoulder and move me onto my back, I knew how to fight but I wasn't about to take that big a risk with the position they had me in.
“You think you’re so cool saying you can do better than our guy.” they snickered, kneeling, their flashlight still shining in my face.
“Do you seriously believe that?” they questioned, moving the light away.
“Yeah, I do.” I stood my ground, they might have been intimidating but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from being honest.
“I wouldn't sound like I’m gonna piss myself every time it gets gory. I’m confident I could get better footage too, getting up close is something I’ve fantasized about.”
They clicked their tongue again and ran their finger over the bridge of my nose.
”Well, I know you’re a big fan of what we do, and you’re confidence makes me think you got something to back those claims up, so how’d you like a deal?”
I was surprised by how civil they were being aside from the touching and weapon against my throat.
“What kind of deal?” I asked, for all I knew this guy wanted me to lick their feet or some weird shit like that. They placed a finger underneath my eye, tracing a half moon with their nail.
“You have till this Friday to film a video of you killing an animal and put it on a flash drive that I’ll pick up here. If it impresses me and the crew we’ll hire ya with a handsome salary.” They began, moving their hand down to my cheek.
“But if you don't show, or it doesn't meet our standards, then I’m fucking up one of the parts of your face.” They warned, pinching my skin harshly.
“And if I say no to this deal?”
They put their hand over my mouth, scratching my lips.
“That’s cute, if you say no I’ll just slit your throat.” they grinned.
“Or rip it open with my teeth if you got a preference,” they smirked, before running their tongue across their sharp teeth.
“Okay, since I have no choice I’ll go with it, but I’m telling you now I can give you something way better than what you likely expect of me.” I prefaced, looking into their sunken eyes. They scratched my scalp, including the side of my head that was shaved.
“Good choice, I’ll be back to pick it up and if you're not here I’ll assume you don’t have the video. I genuinely wish you luck, because you’ll need it.” they removed the blade from my neck and walked away. I sat still for a few minutes in the dark, processing what had happened and wondering how they got into my apartment with such ease. I was confident I could blow their sniveling excuse of a cameraman out of the water, but I was worried about the people I was getting caught up with.
Sure, I had been on a lot of gore sites over the years but I was always just watching and occasionally commenting. Compared to most in the scene I wasn't much of a threat. I could defend myself and have contemplated killing for years but I hadn't murdered anyone or worse. Plus, I am part of way too many targeted groups to not be constantly at risk. Teenage, fem-leaning, two-spirit, indigenous kid with trauma? Yeah, I might as well be walking sign screaming “Hate crime me”.
So yeah, there was a lot to worry about. Regardless, I couldn't let that fear hold me back. I had a job to do and a group of sickos to appease. The next morning was rough, I got no sleep cause I’d spent all night brainstorming. I barely mustered the energy to change and drank straight mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth. Slogging onto the bus with drool on my cheek, I went to the back like usual. No one sat there cause, the seats were extra worn down, and I scared off anyone who attempted to with my active, rabies-infected bitch face. That day was different though.
I blanked on his name and where I knew him from, but I recognized his wavy hair and prominent curved nose. He glanced at each seat on the bus, before somehow settling on my area. He tried to give me space but ultimately seated himself beside me after realizing it was the only spot that didn't look like it would give him cancer. I glared at him as I did with everyone, but it didn't phase him.
“You know you could pick anywhere else right?” I murmured. He stared at the floor, then at me.
“I’m aware, but a few months ago I started a mission to sit on every part of this bus, and this is the last place.” he smiled, his lips softly curving at the sides.
“What’s the point of that?”
His mouth moved into a more neutral position, but his eyes kept smiling.
“I just thought it would be neat to see the same place from a bunch of different perspectives.” he took out his phone and snapped a photo from the point of view where he was sitting. Maybe my sleepiness made my bitch face less effective, cause he hadn't shown a hint of fear, which kind of annoyed me.
“That’s cool I guess, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. I’ve done some back here alone that would make your skin crawl.” in hindsight my attempt at unnerving him just made me sound like a pervert, which is probably why he held back laughter. Trying to hide a chuckle by clearing his throat.
“Hey, it's not my business what you do, no matter how Haram it is. It’s your life so that’s between you and whatever you believe in. Just don’t shake hands with me.” he joked, playfully putting his hands up. Strangely, I remembered his name at that moment.
“Oh shit, you’re Abdul! We have art together.” I sat up, haphazardly slamming my hand down on my leg.
“Uh yeah, I’ve seen some of your paintings, they’re pretty cool. I like the way you texture them, I’m trying to work on that.” he complimented, seeming more weirded out by my sudden energy than my accidental insinuation. I felt a little stupid for yelling his name but decided not to dwell on it.
“Thanks, you’re stuff is nice, and you’re good at shading.”
He stretched his arms while thanking me. We talked for a few more minutes, taking jabs at each other throughout. Turns out he was better at being an asshole than his artsy charismatic appearance made me think. The thing setting our insults apart being that you could tell he was a loving person underneath. It was the nicest conversation I had with anyone in a while. Though he could tell I was tired so he quieted down, letting me sleep, waking me when we got to school. We went our separate ways until the last two periods we shared. All that time, I spent my remaining energy plotting how I was going to handle the video. What I’d kill, record with, and how to dispose of the evidence. It was a lot to consider, but through three classes I devised a plan.
I’d find a stray around my apartment complex and take it out in my room. Record it on a portable camera since I broke the ones on my phone, no, I will not be answering how that happened. Then once I had my footage I’d put the body in a trash bag, throw it in the complex’s garbage, and clean the blood off my floor. It didn't seem like Brick would come by so he wasn't a factor I thought I’d have to consider. The plan was almost too easy, but I decided to believe in Occam’s razor. I got so lost in thought that by the time I reached Art, which was my second-to-last period, I didn't process that we were moving seats.
“She called your name,” Abdul reminded me. Our teacher placed us next to each other at our four-person table. The two girls sitting with us were already friends, so I didn't bother to say anything, but I was interested in talking to him more.
“So, what do you think of this assignment?” He shrugged, taking out his sketchbook.
“I’m not that good at drawing people, but the idea of combining two people’s faces into a portrait seems interesting. Any ideas on who you’ll pick?”
“Probably the members of the music duo Brain Tumor, they’re my favorite artists and they both look weird as hell.”
“Wow way to talk about your favorites, if that’s what you say about them I can‘t imagine what you have to say about me.” he joked, pulling up reference pictures.
“First, it’s not an insult, second I don’t have anything to say about you. Brain and Tumor have features and styles that make them stand out. Sure they’re ugly, but it just adds to their visual charm. Hot people are boring, there’s nothing to pick at.” I explained, unzipping my bag.
“Oh, so you’re saying you think I’m hot.”
His comment wasn’t serious but it kind of got to me.
“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say you’re boring. All hot people are boring, but not all boring people are hot, okay?” I explained, flipping to a clean page.
“Alright, but if I’m so bland then why talk to me?”
I hesitated, contemplating how much of a dick I was gonna be.
“Because it means you probably need some spice in your life, which I can provide.”
He began sketching a head on his paper.
“I like spices, but I feel like you’re the kind of person to dump a cabinet’s worth onto me.”
I flicked my pencil over to his side of the desk, putting on a mocking grin.
“Aww, you scared I’m gonna get you into trouble?”
He picked up the pencil and started using it, putting his on my side.
“No, ‘cause I’m good at setting boundaries. I’m more concerned that you’ll get annoyed with how unafraid of you I am.”
I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't expected to hear that.
“Jeez, man you didn't have to read me like that.”
He shrugged, observing the red paint from past projects that lay on my pencil.
“It's not hard to figure out, just this morning you were trying to push me away on the bus. Lucky, or unlucky, for you I want you to have a friend and you seem like a fun person.”
“Wait are you saying I have no friends?” I squinted at him.
“Well, do you?”
I didn't answer.
“If your response is silence I suggest you take up my offer.”
I was stunned, to be honest. No one had offered to be my friend since 6th grade, and that didn't last long. Of course, I accepted it, but for the rest of the period, there was an awkwardness in my mind. As pathetic as it sounds I wasn't used to others genuinely enjoying my company like he did. Which was partly by design cause I get joy out of scaring people away, but still. I forgot how it felt to have conversations about normal things like art. He had such a nice smile too, usually when I see a grin I want to slap it off, but I liked his. His voice was also nice, it’s hard to describe what in particular but it was easy on the ears.
Okay, I’m starting to get off-topic. I’ll skip to the important part. Toward the end of class, he started talking about how he was interested in filmmaking and got a portable video camera as a gift at last year’s Eid. He didn't have it on him, but he showed me a picture.
“Heh, that’s funny, I bought the same one a month ago.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, it's a popular model, I’m still getting the hang of it though cause I’m so used to using my phone.”
“Well, maybe I could bring you over to my place or vice versa after school and I can help you out.” I suggested.
He smiled, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“I thought you said you’ve only had it for a month? You know I can always look up tutorials from trained professionals.” he reminded me with a notable smugness that I'd used with him before.
“Well those guys are stuffy and I’m a fast learner.”
He redirected his attention back to his page, picking his pencil up.
“Alright, I suggest we go somewhere public instead. You’re not exactly the kind of person I want to bring home to my parents right away. Plus they always need to meet my friends and their guardians before I hang out at their home.”
I gave an exaggerated sigh, stretching my back.
“Aw man, looks like we can’t get high in my murder pit during our first hangout.”
He didn't respond for a solid few seconds.
“Wait, you do know I'm joking right?”
He shrugged, the smile in his eyes appearing again.
“I mean, one of those things is a little less believable than the other.” he snickered, and I laughed with him.
We set up a time and a date, which is where I screwed myself. He ended up being busy with projects from his other classes and family which just left us with Friday, the same day I had to submit the video. Now, did I tell him I wouldn't be able to make it? No, of course not, because I decided to be stupid and even more overconfident. I said that I’d one hundred percent be able to hang out with him after school like I didn't have a mutilator who was going to drop by my place at an unknown time.
The rest of the day went over fine but that bad timing led me to feel like a dick later. When I got home I was able to write out my plan, even sketching a few specifics of what I’d do. It was more exciting than when I’d been brainstorming, but this is when the gravity of the situation began to set in. When I said I’d fantasized about killings I meant it. I mean my teddy with twenty-five stab wounds should say enough. Regardless this would be the first time real blood was on my hands.
It made me feel powerful, but a little afraid. I’ve heard stories of people thinking that it would be an awesome experience and then feeling like shit. I doubted I’d be one of those people but still. Plus, I didn't exactly trust the guy who gave me this job. There was a good chance that this whole situation was rigged and they’d kill me no matter how good the video was. Or worse turn me into the feds and expose my collection. Honestly, if that happened I’d probably eat a shot to avoid going to jail. Wait, can I say that on this platform? Okay to the mods, that was a joke, I want to live a long life. Ugh, I’m doing a terrible job of staying on track. The point is there was a lot up in the air despite it being a matter of life or death.
I knew I’d go through with it but it was still a lot less straightforward than it initially seemed. I wracked my brain to remember where most of the cats stayed and tried to come up with a good way to lure one without raising suspicion. This also proved harder than first thought because I didn't think to account for the cat man, an old guy who lived alone and fed all the cats in our dingy complex while also housing a few. Knowing how obsessive he was he’d probably notice if one of them disappeared. Then again not all the cats return consistently or at all. It makes more sense that he’d think one of them was run over rather than slaughtered. It was getting late again so I rested my head for a moment, a bad move cause I ended up falling asleep at my desk. Not even changing out of the clothes I’d worn before, I woke up late and barely caught the bus the next morning.
I went to my usual spot but Abdul had already taken it. He patted the area next to it, which he’d covered in a towel, a smart move knowing how nasty it was. People gave me a few dirty looks as normal, which I smiled at. I stretched, my mind slightly less out of it than the previous morning.
“Uh, you do realize that-”
“Yeah, I know I’m wearing the same clothes.”
Abdul looked me up and down, his eyes remaining soft, but with a mix of concern and judgment. He set his backpack down and took off his sweater handing it to me.
“Dude what are you-”
“Look I don't know what led to you not being able to change but I think you should at least have a fresh top.”
I was surprised he was offering me something to wear but I took it.
“Uh, thanks, I’ll change into it later.”
He nodded as I put it in my backpack.
“You know you didn't have to do that.” I reminded him.
“Well there’s a lot of stuff I don’t have to do, but I do it because I want to, and I wanted to help you out.”
He smiled, his face still warmer than an Arizona summer. I got a strange feeling in my chest at that moment, I still can’t tell if it was good or bad.
“Well, thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow.”
We talked a little more and he mentioned something that caught my attention.
“Have you heard about all the animals that have been turning up dead?”
My eyes widened with surprise.
“No, I haven't, when did you hear about that?”
He pulled on his long-sleeve shirt.
“My sister said her friend who works at a shelter noticed a bunch of animals were getting adopted by people around the same time, and since then gore videos with them have been showing up. She found out through her co-worker who was emailed it by some random creep.”
I covered my mouth and looked away to hide the smile growing on my face. He had just given me the perfect cover-up without knowing. Now if I killed an animal people had an entire violent ring to connect it to instead of me! I stayed quiet for a minute because I could tell he’d likely see through any phony sad sounds I made.
“Oh wow, that’s awful, do you think they’ll ever find out the people behind it?”
He sighed, running his hand through his wavy hair.
“I hope so, for now, all we can do is pray that no more animals get hurt.”
I couldn't contain my grin as he said that so sincerely like animals and people didn't die constantly and that taking down one group would somehow stop the issue.
“Is there some joke I don’t get?” he furrowed his brow.
“Uh, no, sorry I smile when nervous.”
His gaze softened again, and he didn't press further.
His bringing up the animal killings ended up being the exact push I needed to get my hands dirty. I’d spent the entire day before planning so it was time to put that plan into action. I stole some cat treats that the cat man had laid out and spread them around my apartment which was on the bottom floor. Waiting for one of them to take the bate outside my window was pretty boring but one of them came after a few minutes. A scraggly brown and black cat with a tuft of fur missing on one side of his head. It's messed up but I felt like a little less of an asshole for taking him in since he looked like he was already struggling. I scooped him up and he didn't attempt to fight back.
“Hey there buddy” I waved, feeding him some more food. His eyes had a lot of crust on them, it was kinda gross but I don’t have the right to say with how often I wash my jeans. After a minute or two he let me pet him. I knew making any kind of attachment was bad but I thought it was the right thing to do so he’d fall into a sense of security. I was just about to take him into my room when the door opened.
“Hey, I’m back with groceries!” my shithead cousin announced with two plastic bags in his hands. He looked down to see me with the cat, his eyebrows raising.
“Aw come on, you know we can’t afford a pet.”
He groaned placing the bags on a table and unloading them.
“I know, but he doesn't look like he’s got a lot of life in him I at least want to help him feel better before he kicks the bucket!”
Brick rolled his eyes, putting the cereal box on top of the fridge
“Jeez, did you even think about what diseases he might have? His eyes look puffy what if he has something that can get you sick?”
He had valid concerns which was surprising since he’s usually stupid, but I was still annoyed with him.
“I’m sure he’s fine, I’ll even try to wash him, just please let me hold onto him for a little.”
He folded his arms looking down at us.
“Have you even named him?”
I froze for a second, before using the first thing that came to mind, which ended up being pretty awful knowing my plans.
“Cash cow.” I blurted, awkwardly patting his head.
“Honestly that’s better than what I was expecting. I was sure you’d pick ‘Hellspawn Mcgee’ or something else corny.”
He meant to make fun of me but honestly, I would have named him that if I had more time.
“Ugh, anyway I got those dumb chips you like.”
He then pulled out a bag of the wrong chips.
“Dude those are the wrong ones, this is the third time you’ve mixed up the flavors.”
He threw them at me, scaring the cat slightly.
“Well, I pay for it so you shouldn't be so picky. Anyway, while I was in line I picked up something you might be into.”
He then tossed me a trashy teen magazine. One of my least favorite sorry excuses for an influencer on the cover.
“This is a joke, right?”
I couldn't believe my own adopted brother gave such little shit in my interests.
“I don't know, you decided to start being a girl for real this time so I thought the makeup tips on page ten would help you out.”
I scrunched my face at his comment.
“Dude I’ve been this way for years, just because I started wearing more makeup and dresses doesn't mean I’m more of a girl than when I didn't. I know you won’t get the two-spirit thing but come on.”
He shrugged, seeing me done with me even though he’d just shown up.
“Yeah well hey I’m trying. Anyway, just so you know a friend of mine is coming here Friday.”
My heart stopped.
“Wait why here? You live elsewhere why can’t you assholes go there or their place!”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“Will you shut the fuck up!”
He screamed with a phrase I’d grown numb to.
“I don't know, to be honest, something about wanting to move into this complex and this being a way to scout it out. I’m just letting you know now so you don’t act like a complete freak.”
“Jokes on you I’ll piss in whatever shitty beer you bring just cause you said that!”
I yelled back raising my voice higher than his. He face-palmed before putting the plastic bags in the drawer under the sink.
“Whatever, you and your ketamine-addict-looking cat have fun,” he told me while seating himself on the couch. I picked up the cat and walked into the bathroom to clean it. I closed the door and placed him in the dry tub. Using a small disposable mouthwash cup I got a little bit of water. I hadn't had a pet before so I wasn't sure how to approach the task. I dipped my fingers in the water and carefully pet it while pouring s small bit down his back. Any other cat would fight back but he just made pissed-off noises without doing anything.
I scrapped my old shampoo bottle and kneaded it into his thin fur. His skin was bumpy and dry beneath the hair so scrubbing it was uncomfortable. I made sure to avoid getting soap in its eyes but I did pull away some of the crust on its lids. His pupils were so clouded I was surprised that he could see at all, making me feel even more sure that he would be on its way out with or without me.
After drying him I set him on a beat-up shirt I wore when modifying clothes. He sunk his claws into it a few times, playing with a loose string. I ignored him for the rest of the night, hopping into the shower and changing for bed. His meows woke me up a few times but I tuned it out after a while, reminding myself that he wouldn’t be my cat for long.
The next day was Thursday and there wasn't a second that passed by where the weight of the murder I’d have to commit didn't weigh on me. I seriously shot myself in the foot by taking care of that scruffy, pubic hair pile. I was supposed to be hyped about killing it, after all, I’d dreamed and seen way worse than what I was going to do. Yet once I got home and started setting up I felt grosser with each step. I decided to record it in my bathroom instead of my bedroom so it would be harder to connect to me. I set down a few fabric scraps and a worn-out beach towel, placing it all inside a tub for easier cleanup later.
“Okay, I guess it's time,” I mumbled to myself. I brought the cat in and placed it down, setting up my camera once it was comfortable. I also wore my most generic clothes in addition to a mask, putting my hair in a bun for sanitation. When I saw the flicker of red showing that the camera was on I felt I was dreaming. I smiled, excited that I’d get to live out my violent desires. Yet, when I looked down at its pathetic frame and confused expression those urges left me.
I rationalized what I was doing, reminding myself how many animals die all the time and that I’d been forced into this, but it didn't help much in the end. I won’t get into it but under the pressure of impressing the group Cash Cow didn't go out as fast as I would have liked for a first task. Getting rid of the evidence was especially rough, the textures were pretty nasty, to put it mildly. It was surreal watching the blood go down the tub drain and gradually drip off my hands as I rinsed them. I couldn't conjure a single thought the entire time I cleaned it up.
Whether I was wringing out the clothes or putting the remains in plastic bags, it didn't matter. All I could focus on was the task at hand, with hints of disgust along the way. I ended up finishing at three AM. My hands were wrinkled and shook once I settled. I won’t deny that during the murder I didn't hate it. Slashing into something was fun and it made me feel strong. Still, it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Part of it was guilt, but it was mostly disappointment. I’d built it up for years and it wasn't earth shatteringly good or bad.
Overall, I expected to feel more, but it just left me hollow with an uncomfortable itch. There was no way I’d ever be able to see the tub the same way, hell I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Luckily I almost always shower anyway so it's not too big of a deal. I watched a few horror game videos, trashed everything, changed and went to bed.
My scalp hurt like a bitch the morning since I kept my hair in that stupid bun. Despite getting less sleep than the past two days I held myself together a bit better in the morning. I brushed my teeth, changed, and had some fried bread before getting on the bus. Regardless I looked like complete shit and struggled to slump into my seat.
“Rough night?” Abdul asked
“Uh, yeah.” I quietly responded looking to the floor.
He frowned, looking at me with concern.
“You can talk about it if you're comfortable,” he assured me. I contemplated giving him a thinly veiled metaphor or vague explanation so he'd comfort me but stopped myself before my mouth could run a muck. He wouldn't be able to do much of anything and I don’t like opening up.
“Uhm, thanks but it's something I have to deal with alone.”
He nodded, respecting my boundaries.
“You know, I understand if you can’t hang out today it seems like you have a lot going on.”
I avoided eye contact with him as he spoke. For once I was feeling hints of guilt toward a person. I wanted to spend time with him, but I knew that I wasn't in the state to do that.
“Yeah, I think it’ll have to wait, I’m-” I cut myself off before apologizing. A fact about me that should surprise no one is that I hate apologizing. Even when I do feel kinda bad the act fills me with embarrassment.
“You what?” he asked, his eyes telling me that he knew what I was going to say.
“I’m emotionally not great.” I spat out in an admittedly poor attempt to get out of saying sorry. As always he remained calm but I could tell he saw through me.
“Okay, like I said I understand, whatever it is I hope you feel better.”
I told him thank you and we didn't speak for the rest of the day. At home I changed into more comfortable clothes and brushed my teeth. Unfortunately, I wasn't bouncing back from killing nearly as much as I expected.
“It wasn't even that bad! That thing was on its last legs anyway.” I grumbled to myself, smacking my forehead. I was feeling worse than when I did it which is weird. I ended up spontaneously decorating a ratty tie from the bottom of an accessory drawer to distract myself. It helped me get my mind off things, for a little. I had zero plan, just wanting to make something needlessly complex. Hours that felt like minutes passed and soon it was covered in patches, frills, and beads. I just tried it on when I heard the front door open.
“Man, that shit was wild!” I heard Brick laugh groggily. I didn't have to see or smell him to know he’d gotten lit. I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door.
“Hey, who’s there?” his friend asked, seemingly referring to me.
“Oh, that’s my little sis, don’t mind her she’s just on her emo shit!” he joked, which pissed me off for the petty reason that I didn't even listen or dress emo.
“Hey, that’s alright with me, I went through one of those phases,” they responded, their words less slurred than my cousin’s.
I fucked up and forgot to lock it when I closed it so they were able to swing it open, almost smacking my desk.
“Hey emo girl!” they waved as Brick haphazardly pulled them back.
“Okay, man, seriously I think she wants to be left alone.”
The way his friend looked at me made me uncomfortable. Like they’d snap my neck if I pissed them off. They clicked their tongue while stepping through the door frame.
“Alright, but I gotta say calling her an emo is inaccurate, they look like they watch gore and most emos just say they do.” they flashed a sharp toothy grin. At that moment I began to connect the dots.
“Easy, she’ll get pissy with you dude, now come on.” Brick warned tugging their opened button pushed him away. They looked me dead in the eyes.
“I don’t think she minds, in truth, I feel like we’ll have a lot to discuss later.” they smiled again, finally walking back into the living room. A chill ran up my spine when I saw them. The sharp teeth, New York accent, unsettling gaze, that motherfucker was the person who recruited me! They were able to get into my place so easily cause my dumbass cousin probably gave them a spare key or the opportunity to make one, and now they were a room away from me!
I dug my hands into my pillow as I contemplated what to do, no matter what happened next, I knew it was gonna be a rough visit.

I knew caffeine was a problem from the first time I had it
Was 18 years old first year of uni, felt insane euphoria and racing thoughts (I found this to be a positive at the time) but immediately noticed the sleep impact and amplified stress
Continued to use it liberally for 6 years anyway because it "helped me study"
What I realize now is drinking caffeine for performance is like having someone set attack dogs on you to run faster
It took me a long time to figure out using this thing daily was a massive source of stress and anxiety and I'd be doing better across the board without ingesting this artificial stressor
And if I think about it there is literally no other drug I consume daily...
I drink and dabble with weed once in a blue moon... if I ever ended up taking these every day my life would be in a really bad place... I don't see why caffeine should be any different
It's even funnier how brutal the withdrawals are and how many excuses my brain comes up with to not quit
It's literally the textbook definition of drug of abuse
I understand there are some unicorns out there who feel zero effects and just like the taste and can neck 3 espressos and fall asleep
It's about time to accept I'm simply not that guy
May 20th I'm taking the dive for the thousandth time
And if I'm vigilant enough it will be for good this time.

Obviously paragraphs and paragraphs of explaining the lore of your world is considered infodumping, but where would you draw the line?
I don't know if what I try to do is considered infodumping. Basically, I insert one paragraph of a character using their knowledge of the world to explain something in the middle of your usual descriptory prose.
For example (an excerpt of chapter 4 from my first attempt at writing a full length novel. I'm about 11k words in):
Despite the boy standing at least two dozen paces away from her, Emily felt like he had drilled stakes into her eyes with his gaze. They were green-within-green without any trace of human white in them. They weren’t natural. They weren’t human. Her heart raced. Foreboding trepidation rushed through her veins. She became aware of her panting and her sweat inching down her forehead. She trembled, all of a sudden warming up despite the stale, cold air in the great hall.
She lowered her head, realising that she had torn holes into her gloves from balling her fists.
Before her stood a Roamer. Samira had taught her about them in her lessons. She was told the last of them died a century ago. A race of mutants created to serve as the personal bodyguards of lords and kings centuries ago, one of them served the Embelwoods of the past. Along with her great-grandfathers, they built the great duchy of New Calinthia on the backs of honour and virtue.
Her right palm throbbed. Pulling off her glove, Emily looked at the angular birthmark on her right palm again, and she noticed that it glowed gently with the same shade of green from the boy-Roamer’s eyes.
From under the boy’s coat, the characteristic Roamer’s dark-veins crept up his pale-skinned neck, stopping short of his jaw like serpents slithering through snow. He took off his hat, revealing a head of black hair. As he made his way through the great hall, nobody spoke a word. She saw tense looks on many soldiers’ faces, the look of shock given by bystanders witnessing a murder.
I've italicised the paragraph in question. It's not really describing action and feelings like the other paragraphs around it, but it also isn't a large wall of text describing the lore and such–that would be an obvious infodump. How large of a break from the flow of action to describe something about the world would you consider an infodump?
Edit: The paragraph also doesn't fully explain what they are fyi. I'm planning to explore the Roamers' abilities later in the story and sprinkle in more tidbits of lore throughout. I can add the premise of the story here for context if someone requests it.

Hello All,
Brief summary about my current vocal status: I'm used to singing everyday, currently in a band, and started noticing some vocal trouble over a month ago during rehearsals (voice wasn't easily reaching notes and felt strained after rehearsals). After that, I went on a Vegas trip with some friends, and after attending some concerts, my voice was pretty much gone for a day or two. After I came back from the trip, decided to give some vocal rest and let it heal, but never noticed such a feeling in my throat (hard to describe but its almost like a Sore Throat, but I can feel pain on the left side of my neck). A week ago, I decided to go to the doctor to see why it hasn't healed, and I was told its probably just a cold and he wrote me down for 'Acute Pharyngitis'. I was told to reach out a week later if symptoms didn't resolve. Well its been a week later, and I went to the Dr. today because my symptoms haven't improved, my voice hurts from talking and I have not been able to sing my usual range at all (I can sing within the normal register but trying anything a bit higher is not possible).
At the Dr. today, I was prescribed Pantoprazole (Proton Pump Inhibitor) and methylPREDNISolone (steroid). The thought process behind the Pantoprazole is that acid reflux may be swelling my throat, so I will start taking that tomorrow. For the methylPREDNISolone I was told to give it a few more days, and if still no improvement, to give it a shot. I was also referred to an E.N.T to get in touch and schedule a possible appointment for a Laryngscopy if symptoms do not heal.
I'm making this post to share my symptoms and see if anyone shared something similar because I initially thought this may be related to Vocal Nodules/Polyps, but based on my symptoms now I feel like they still fall under the category of a Flu/Cold thats just lasting a while and not letting my voice heal. I'm currently trying to do vocal rest, drink lots of fluids (including tea with honey), but its difficult as I do have to talk quite a bit at work.
Symptom List: (First 2 symptoms have been going on for about 2 1/2 - 3 weeks currently)

• Vocal Fatigue (From just talking. Singing obviously aggravates it more)
• Pain in Neck (I feel pain on my left (mostly left side), and sometimes on the right side, the middle area and under the jaw sometimes as well)
• Phlegm - Started noticing green and yellow phlegm for 2 days (started 2 days ago), but that has now subsided
• Vocal Hoarseness - Interestingly, people around me do not notice my voice being hoarse when I talk, but I can feel that it is not as smooth as before, and there is some gravely quality there.

I am really hoping this isn't a vocal nodule/polyp and is related to coming off a cold, but if symptoms do not get better I'll definitely be going to the E.N.T to get a scope done and check any other causes for these symptoms.

I’m going to keep names and ages out of this for privacy reasons, but I recently moved out to a very small town to live with my boyfriend, who moved here a year ago out of the blue for a job he hated and has since quit. Originally, I was saving to buy a car but due to the financial situation where I was living and me being out sick with Covid and missing a week and a half of pay, I had to spend it to keep up with bills. I’ve only had my license for like 6 months, I got it super late compared to most people. I’m a relatively good driver but I definitely am a safe one. I moved here knowing I didn’t have a vehicle, but under the impression he would still help me get around as much as he could. I also got fired in February for being out with Covid in December (managers refused to approve the time I wasn’t there and said it counted as too many occurrences) and am just returning to the work force. My job is a mile and a half from our house. He is usually at work when I leave so I bike there. I end up having to walk part of the way because some of the inclines are too steep for my bike to go up without extreme effort and at that point I might as well just walk right? I’ll be the first to admit I’m a little overweight. That being said, even when I was super skinny in the past, walking relatively far distances was difficult, and standing for long periods of time makes my feet and back hurt so badly that sometimes I think I’m going to throw up from the pain. He works doing physical labor outside. I understand this can be quite taxing, and that sometimes he may want to rest. My problem lies in the fact that he makes it seem like on these occasions, it’s super difficult to just like. Come switch out the car with me on my lunch break?? (I know it’s his car but like, I would never make him walk home if the role was reversed) Or maybe go to sleep for a few hours and then come pick me up really quick. I work 3 minutes from the house by car, but at least a 45 minute walk. More than that, if it’s after work and I can barely move as it is. His argument is that sometimes he’ll just want to sleep and I’ll just be SOL. I think this is kind of.. cruel honestly. I’ve tried so hard to explain to him the amount of pain that I’m in after a shift, sometimes to the point where I have to sneak off to the bathroom just so that I can take the pressure off for a few seconds. Plus I’ve sprained both of my ankles several times and they are definitely not the best because of it. One of them I broke and it healed incorrectly so now it randomly gets super tight and painful. I feel like I’m kind of rambling but I guess I just feel like ultimately, it’s something that two loving partners would do if they cared about one another. I go out of my way to do things for him all the time, maybe not exactly that but, the role has never been reversed in that way. I swear I’m not trying to sound like a spoiled brat and if I didn’t hurt even a fraction of the way I do after work then it wouldn’t be an issue. But I do, and that definitely makes it wayyyyy more difficult to get myself home in the middle of the night safely. I guess I’m just looking for advice.

Before I start, note I am not trying to belittle or insult any of the girls, this is all in good fun and feel free to comment your opinions down below.

1. Ruka

Nothing to say much, she’s not a singer or anything, she’s had good moments in DKWTD & SITM, I like her vocal tone and I think the producers should utilize it more.

1. Asa

For a main rapper, this girl can sing. She’s shown moments of decent vocal support and has one of the most soothing tones I’ve heard in kpop, I also think producers should utilize her voice more.

1. Pharita

The one thing I love about Pharita is her vocal tone, its bright and fits perfectly with Babymonsters sound, im glad the producers use her voice a lot, I feel it really elevates there music.

1. Ahyeon

Ahyeons range is something else, she also has a bright but distinct vocal tone. Her voice is powerful and sticks out. We haven’t heard to much of her lower register yet but I can’t wait to see her blossom into an even more powerful vocalist.

1. Rora

Rora has a very unique voice. It’s elegant but dark. She has had some good moments in her lower and upper register. I wish the producers can give her more vocally challenging parts as she is capable.

1. Chiquita

Her and Rora and pretty much neck and neck but Chiquita takes the cake because her quality of support is a bit better. She has a very western vocal tone and I think the producers will utilize that especially in songs like ‘Like That’ where she fits in perfectly

1. Rami

Rami is one of the best vocalist in YG I’ve seen since Minzy of 2NE1. She’s still developing so who knows how much more powerful she’ll get. She has a unique vocal tone and an amazing range. Her low notes are so good and whistle range is impressive. She totally deserves her main vocalist position.
Next Up: Rap

I posted my resume on Craigslist trying to get some sort of work from home job.
A woman emailed me: “I am currently looking for a business personal assistant just for you to know the position is an home based job, I live in Toronto Ontario but currently out of the Country for roadshows, that's why I need someone reliable to help me with my tight schedule. Do you have a Laptop/PC you can be working on?”
I said yes, and asked about the schedule and pay. She replied and said: “Ok good. So we operate a custom home building company, android developer and into buying and selling of antiques and artifacts. I'm an extremely busy person just online here looking for a personal assistant who will be willing to reduce me from a multi-task I go through all day online. Your duties just entails sending and receiving emails from my clients, taking orders and making enquires, I’d instruct you on how to go through with them as time goes on.You'd be working for 3-4hrs daily; 10am-1pm or 4pm-7pm and the hours can be flexible. So about the pay, the payment is dependent it could be a direct deposit or a Cheque and the pay is $580 weekly. Which bank do you operate with?”
I then told her what bank I use and that my schedule is wide open. She then said: “Ok good, so you'd be having an online interview via text just Q&A processing. It would be performed on a telegram platform. I believe you have a telegram messenger app?”
Looking back that was a red flag but I was desperate.
She then said let’s chat on WhatsApp (which I didn’t have but I downloaded it to chat with her). Also a red flag🤦‍♀️
I emailed about five “clients” about various things that were consistent with the work she said she does. They discussed certain items, dates, payments, prices etc.
Well the job was a scam. She asked I get 2 $100 gift cards as a thank you for her clients. I emailed a bunch of her clients, she had a website and all this info to corroborate her story. So I stupidly believed her. She sent me two cheques each for $100 for the gift cards. I deposited them, went out and got the gift cards and sent pictures of them to each of her clients. Anyways everything seemed normal, then she asked I get another gift card for a different client I emailed with, again with a cheque. I finally said no and asked she send the money by e-transfer or direct deposit. She said she couldn’t for whatever reason. She said the cheques were good and they’ll go through. After I expressed fear that they wouldn’t.
Because they were Apple gift cards and they have codes you just scan. I checked and both of the cards are drained. I called my bank and they said because I deposited the cheques there’s nothing they can do. And when the cheques inevitably bounce/come up as fraud a hold will be put on my account and I’ll need to pay the $200. Money I don’t have. It seemed genuine at the time, I feel so stupid and disappointed in humanity honestly. 
I was already scraping change together just to buy food and I’m many months behind on rent; now it’s been made so much worse. Ultimately I’m just tired of all of this. I’m only 20 years old, yet I fell for it because of my desperation for money. My desperation made me blind to the obvious red flags.
My friends and family comforted me and said I’m not stupid, it was just an elaborate scam. I don’t really believe them, I mean looking back it was so obvious!! But they made me feel like a dumb kid and that’s something I already deal with in my day to day (why is a long story). I figured at least at this job I’d have people take me seriously. But instead I was made a fool.
Sorry for the novel!

Hey all, This is my first time writing on Reddit. I just want to vent a bit. The past few years have been very stressful. I have a son (3) who I look after full time while my husband works. We both moved to another country, separately as we met here, ages ago and so we don't have family around. There really is no reprieve from the stress and constant touch out feeling that I have as we are basically doing everything alone. I have maybe 2/3 hr a week for myself without my son and I usually spend it resting a bit and then preparing dinner. My husband has got a very busy job with irregular long hours. I feel like I'm going underwater. I'm so tired and losing hope. He is trying to find a different job but to no avail so far. I tried to get something remotely but I haven't worked since the panini (I used to work in hospitality) so no luck there. I'm trying to study coding in the few hours that I have but it is freaking difficult. I feel like I can't go on like this any longer. I know we need to change our situation because we are both completely slowing fading. Money is tight because even grocery shopping is costing a leg. The only positive that we got for now is our son. I look back at my former self fyll of projects and dreams and I just want to cry. Mamas and SAHDs, how the heck do you do it?

Now that I discovered this community I am pretty confident what is happening to me is all tied back to this lovely little jaw muscle. I see my GP Monday 8am . Hoping for any advice - better details - corrections on my wrong assumptions or statements and ultimately a little reassurance and validation from yall , That what is happening to me right now is all connected and I am not crazy.
10 months ago I had my last 2 upper molars pulled the "ol fashioned" way with the wiggling and the tugging and the ripping and the "Okay now you're going to feel a bit of pressure" followed by the feeling that your jaw is in fact being ripped out of your mouth.
Things started mild 6 months ago intensified around the 3 month mark and now these last 3 weeks I can barely function. I feel the definition of "Malaise" hits perfect. I'm afraid to leave my house the head pain / brain fog has me feeling like I could blackout any second, And the whoosh / vertigo / world spins has me terrified of driving.
So here is what I'm feeling in order of how they hit , everything is on the left side if that matters
Shoulder Blade - Everything is felt along the bottom of the blade.
Jolt of fire and burning on the skin -- A tearing and ripping under the skin on the muscle - Starts to vibrate a tingling fire sensation outward in a semi circle
When I put my tens unit on there the flexing caused pain on the top of shoulder and collarbone.
Always strongest when I lift or carry, random bursts when I'm sitting doing nothing and now even the weight of my phone sends it to 11
Muscles Weakness and Tremors
When the blade pain is bad, I can barely grip anything with my hand, Hands tremble and different arm muscles randomly will twitch and flex.
My jaw is now (2 weeks) shivering / chittering (IDK wtf it is) as if im cold. Digging my fingers into the facial knots will stop it. Always hits when I first get out of bed, then a few times during the day no pattern in the trigger
Eyes/Ears
Couldn't keep my contacts in more than half day , left only felt cloudy hazy blurry - They are brand new lenses and Ive been use the good "eye juice" with no changes. Tried yesterday had to take em out within an hour.
Sharp twinge zap inside the ear - cold trickling sensation down the canal - ends with a punch of pain behind ear on the thick neck tendon
The Whoosh (Is this brain fog? Something else?) Zap / Jolt of electricity on top of my brain but under my skull - The whoosh when i see everything spin a 360 for a second - And ends with me "off kilter' for minutes to hours, As if there is a delay between what my eye sees to when my brain processes. During the spell ill feel "wonky" "Out of body" "tunnelly vision"
The Exploding Head
Its a constant feeling / sensation that my head is filling with sludge.
Forehead & eye have waves of intense dull aches, This part is killing so bad right now, even with NSAIDS it never stops having pressure just relieves it slightly. When it kicks hard and throbs my eyes go really fuzzy and that im going to blackout feeling hits. I have not actually passed or blacked out thank god - my cats would eat me alive in a day -
Jaw/ cheek & gums are twitchy with tightness/fullness and pointy pain shockwaves. The M in the TMJ is a ball of rubberbands and it is so very tender. My face does not appear to have anything swelling outwards from here but poking around in there i find tons of lumps I can break up.. Opening and closing i have full range I think and right now no popping or pains when i do. The area by my ear where the bones connect is so tender, but I dont feel lumps much here. I feel such relief when I hit here with my point tool.
Side of my Neck has small mushy lumps just under the skin and some big daddies deeper in and these ones get stabbyy pains that pulse with my heart.
Back of my neck the bottom half is gravel I can break up pretty easy but I think 3 more come back in their place.
Base of skull I have golf balls burried deep,. They dont throb but when I rub them it is painful but in the best way because I feel such release everywhere else but then they hurt for days. When I rub them to hard and deep oh man sore for days.
All this ends at my upper back and this area is awful. It burns on the surface level 24/7. Icy hot tricks my brain for about and hour. I did some scraping massage here and it sounded like rice krispies and I think hese are adhesions vs knots. .Deeper is full of thick knots, I have the trigger point hook to dig in there and sometimes magic happens and the ache everywhere else gets better for a bit.
The floating bone
It was mild discomfort, odd feelings of tightness inside my actual throat, tingles and a dry feel. It started wiggling around on its own pretty often and when I felt that first water balloon pop inside yikes I was scared AF. Now it just moves whenever it wants. I barely touch it and it "shoots" to the other side. Massaging in here hurts so GOOD! Looking all the way up and feeling from chin towards throat I have many bumps all different sizes. And lastly when I move my head certain ways it feels as if there is a leak happening and almost mucus-y like I could cough but usually dont need to
If you are still with me many apologies this got longer than I thought it would. Today has been my worst day so far, all the pains I mentioned are now hitting at once. Today I was sitting here sobbing in pain it because I was at 13 / 10 and wouldn't ease no matter what I pressed on . 3 Naproxen with 3 ibuprofen gives me about 3 hours of refief right now. I know posture is a part of my pain levels and ive aready ordered some tools so I can correct.