The following is a directive by the 2nd Shock Army instructing its subordinate formations and commanders on how to prepare and carry out a breakthrough, including organizational measures to improve its combat effectiveness. 2nd Shock Army was deployed in the rear of 2nd Belorussian Front in December 1944, preparing to participate in the East Prussian Operation. In mid-January to would successfully break out from the Rozhan bridgehead.

DIRECTIVE FOR THE ORGANIZATION AND CONDUCT OF THE EAST PRUSSIAN OFFENSIVE OPERATION
TO THE CORPS COMMANDERS AND CHIEFS OF THE TROOP BRANCHES OF THE 2ND SHOCK ARMY
When preparing for a breakthrough, I require you to focus particular attention on the following issues:
PREPERATORY PERIOD
[1)]
a) Study in the entire tactical depth of the enemy’s defense his engineering structures and obstacles, infantry and anti-tank fire systems, artillery and mortar groups, and the system of observation posts.
b) Know the areas where reserves are concentrated and the possible directions of counterattacks. Senior commanders (commanders of rifle corps and rifle divisions) must also know the operational depth of the enemy’s defense, the location of his operational reserves, the possibility of meeting them and on what lines.
c) Know where tanks are concentrated and the possible directions of their actions.
d) Using an observation system and studying all intelligence data in detail, establish the combat routine of the defending enemy.
2) Organization of observation
a) No later than December 25 the army headquarters will equip one OP [Observation Point] (main) in each direction and two auxiliary ones, providing them with communications equipment, surveillance equipment and specially trained officers.
b) Corps and division commanders must determine places for OPs and report to me no later than 12/18.
All OPs from the platoon commander and above must ensure complete observation of the terrain from the starting position according to the principle - every commander must see the battlefield.
Telephones should be placed at the OP for those where the commander is monitoring the battlefield.
c) Artillery and infantry observation should be organized by the army headquarters from 12/20/44, corps and divisions - by special order with the obligatory keeping of observation logs and a report to the top.
Observation data for the day should be submitted to corps headquarters and artillery headquarters to army headquarters by 10 p.m. daily.
d) At the OP from regiments and above, specially trained and instructed officers (3-4 people), headed by a staff officer and provided with security (2-3 machine gunners), must be located and monitored.
Observers should change every 2 hours.
The senior officer must visit the OP at least once a day.
e) Each commander must have a map with data from his personal observation and data received from other commanders (in different colors).
Artillery and infantry commanders should compare the data received by each of them about the enemy to clarify them.
f) By 12/28, the Army Headquarters will provide the corps and divisions with maps filled with the situation about the enemy based on data received from the defenders, observation from the OPs and from other sources.
3) Study the area
a) Study in detail the features of the terrain in front of the enemy’s front line of defense, in the tactical depth of his defense, and for higher commanders in the operational depth. Pay special attention to studying the terrain in tank terms.
b) Keeping in mind the open nature of the terrain, carefully study all approaches to the enemy’s front line, possible starting positions for the attack and the directions along which the artillery will advance.
Know the roads leading to the front line from the depths, and the roads in the depths of the enemy’s defense in the zone intended for the offensive.
4) Secrecy and camouflage of measures taken to prepare the operation
a) Regrouping of troops (infantry, artillery, tanks) should be carried out only at night.
Carefully camouflage the areas where troops are located, preventing the appearance of smoke during the day and the lighting of fires at night.
b) Eliminate any possibility of communication and conversations with the local population. Under no circumstances should commanders and fighters be allowed to be housed with local residents.
The headquarters of units and formations are usually located in a forest.
c) Warn all personnel about the inadmissibility of revealing the numbering of army units and formations.
d) Avoid talking on the phone about ongoing events. The commanders of the formations personally approve the lists of persons to whom telephone numbers are left and the right to converse.
Strictly prohibit the use of radio equipment until the moment of the attack.
e) Do not allow signs indicating unit numbers, field mail and commanders' names, as well as identification marks of hospitals and rear institutions to be displayed at intersections and at entrances to areas where formations and units are located. The latter will be displayed by special order.
f) Take the strictest measures to protect documents and maps, preventing their loss. Do not take maps with the details of your units to the front line.
g) Army headquarters, rifle corps headquarters, rifle divisions and rifle regiments organize a commandant service, establish commandant posts and patrols and carefully instruct them.
Commandant posts and patrols should not allow accumulations of vehicles, horse-drawn vehicles and manpower, especially in areas of visibility, and ensure strict compliance with all camouflage instructions.
Inform all personnel that the requirements of commandant posts and patrols are mandatory for all officers, regardless of official position.
h) All reconnaissance should be carried out in accordance with special instructions.
5) Combat training
Combat training begins on 12/20/44.
Combat training of troops differs from general combat training in that it is carried out in a specific environment.
Commanders of formations and units should organize combat training based on the specific tasks of each unit (being in the first or second echelon, with whom and when it interacts, etc.).
Conduct combat training on terrain as similar as possible to the one on which you will operate.
Corps and division commanders should be ready for an operational game at army headquarters by 12/26/44 based on the materials and conditions of the operation being prepared.
6) Work of headquarters
a) All headquarters prepare a complete schedule of urgent reports and the procedure for its implementation.
Establish a list of officers responsible for information from higher headquarters, formations of supporting and interacting units.
Consider the failure of the transmission of at least one report at any link to be an emergency.
Pay special attention to the truthfulness of the information.
b) Check the readiness of all means of communication: telephone, telegraph, radio, mobile vehicles (liaison officers, cars, motorcycles, etc.).
Have a reserve of radio equipment to create intermediate stations, especially for communication with mobile groups.
c) Check the distribution of functional responsibilities among staff officers and their mastery.
d) Ensure control over the implementation of combat orders of commanders. Following a combat order, an officer of the operations directorate (department) must be sent to the troops to monitor the implementation of this order.
The officers sent must be instructed by the formation commander or chief of staff and have a firm knowledge of the mission of the formation, unit or subunit to which they are sent.
e) Minimize the production time for operational documents, without in any way “eating up” the time of lower headquarters.
f) Carefully work out in advance all interaction documents for the entire depth of the battle.
g) Prepare SUV (Covert troop management) documents in advance and send them to the troops.
Immediately upon receipt of them, organize training and ensure free use of them by all officers, especially officers and administrators.
7) Logistical support
a) Carefully check the condition of automatic weapons. Each fighter must have the prescribed number of cartridges, each machine gun must have the prescribed number of belts and disks. Belts should not be damp.
Check the winding of the seals, the tension of the return springs, the availability of spacer rings (spare), extractors and antifreeze fluid.
In rifle platoons, which are intended for special work in clearing mines and laying paths for infantry, have carts for pulling away wire and other obstacles.
b) Check the ammunition from the rifle to the gun. Determine where to store ammunition, who, how and where to supply it.
c) The equipment of each fighter must be checked (fitting of uniform, equipment, contents of duffel bag, etc.).
d) Prepare a backpack supply for soldiers in the amount of one daily allowance, the issuance of which will be carried out by special order of division commanders.
Check the feeding arrangements, especially on the first day of the fight.
e) All vehicles must be repaired, possible routes determined, fuel depots installed. Each driver must be familiar with these routes and road conditions in advance. Cars must have chains and tools (shovels, axes).
f) Put horse-drawn transport in order.
g) On roads in the army zone, install signs at all intersections indicating populated areas, marking altitudes and azimuths of directions.
h) In crossing areas, prepare gaps and exits from roads every 50 m in both directions. Crossings should be distributed among commanders of formations and a commandant service should be established on them, avoiding the accumulation of vehicles, horse-drawn vehicles or manpower.
i) Establish a procedure for evacuating the wounded. Designate sanitary picket points.
Explain to the soldiers that the wounded must bring their weapons to the dressing station, and the weapons of the seriously wounded must be picked up by orderlies.
j) Explain to all fighters the inadmissibility of using captured products and “junk”.
k) All commanders should check the unit’s logistics on a daily basis.
PREPARATION AND OCCUPATION OF THE STARTING POSITION FOR THE ATTACK
1) The day before the troops reach their starting position, mark the routes to it for each company to prevent wandering and mixing of units. Set up beacons.
Take the most decisive measures so that soldiers and officers cannot get lost and fall into the hands of the enemy. Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to go over to the enemy’s side.
2) Study the starting position and equip it so that the infantry and materiel are completely covered. Eliminate the possibility of exposure and losses of manpower and materiel.
Considering the dampness of the soil and the appearance of track marks on it after turning off the road, these marks should be immediately smoothed out.
3) Regiment commanders prepare and fix roads to pull everything necessary to the starting position.
4) Consider the organization of communication when reaching the starting position.
5) Reach the starting position over two nights.
On the first night, bring out heavy infantry fire weapons and direct fire weapons. Those guns that can be seen in positions by the enemy should be brought out on the second night.
On the second night, bring out the infantry.
6) When taking over a combat area from defending units, carefully study your own and enemy’s minefields.
Clear your minefields located in the depths of the defense in advance; those located in front of the front line should be cleared of mines two to three days before the offensive, organizing the protection of the passages.
Clear enemy minefields within two nights. This demining is carried out under conditions of careful camouflage from enemy observation.
7) Before leaving for the starting position, explain to all personnel: for what, where and how should they do it, what secrecy and camouflage measures to take.
Bring the combat mission to the fighters 4 hours before the start of the attack.
INFANTRY ATTACK AND COMBAT IN THE DEPTH OF THE ENEMY'S DEFENSE
1) Build battle formations not according to a template, but taking into account the specific actions of each unit and subunit.
During a frontal breakthrough, the battle formation will be straightforward, in a forest battle - along road directions, when crossing rivers - echeloned, and when fighting in the depths of defense - maneuverable.
Pay special attention to the placement of forces and weapons in combat formations at all stages and in all conditions, so that fire weapons do not lag behind the infantry.
Senior commanders check the decisions of subordinate commanders, carefully explain the shortcomings they made in the formation of battle formations and indicate measures to eliminate these shortcomings.
2) Every Red Army soldier must understand that the main goal of an organized breakthrough of the enemy’s defense is to reach the firing positions of his artillery in the first 2-3 hours of the battle.
3) Remind each officer once again that combined arms combat consists of three elements:
a) organizing artillery fire support,
b) organizing close combat between infantry and tanks and
c) organizing close interaction between these two elements.
4) Remember that the basis of artillery fire support is not artillery preparation, but the organization of artillery fire in the depths of the enemy’s defense.
Every officer must know that the success of artillery fire depends on good organization of reconnaissance, on his knowledge of the capabilities of all means of reinforcement and the correct formulation of tasks.
5) An infantry strike must be preceded by a fire strike. This means that it is necessary to follow this order: reconnaissance, then fire strike, then attack, and not the reverse.
6) During the attack, under no circumstances should infantry be allowed to lie in the first trench. It is dangerous because it causes a desire to take cover and, as a rule, is always targeted by enemy artillery.
Don't linger at temporary stops; The longer people lie, the more difficult it is to raise them, the greater the losses.
The attack must be swift.
7) All means must be used to hit one place. Everything must be linked together.
I forbid pointing at others: “The tanks failed,” “The infantry did not rise,” “The artillery did not support.”
Check the implementation of interaction issues at all levels.
The artillery commanders will be with the infantry commanders.
8) During a battle deep in the enemy’s defense, obtaining accurate data on the enemy’s behavior becomes of utmost importance. Report about the enemy only quantitatively, and not organizationally, i.e. 30-40 soldiers and not a company or platoon.
Report exactly where and what enemy firing points are hindering the advance. Do not allow the expressions: “Heavy machine gun or mortar fire.”
9) Each commander knows at any time the position and condition of the formation (unit). The situation report must always be truthful.
The commander must have the courage to report whether his unit can carry out the order at a given moment, and if not, then for what reasons.
10) The depth of the enemy’s tactical defense in front of the army’s front lies at the line of 6-8 km from the front edge (the artillery positions). Until we reached the artillery positions, the breakthrough was not realized.
11) Consider the tactics of using tanks by the enemy:
a) for counterattacks with small groups of infantry,
b) as fixed firing points (armored fortified points) and
c) in night battle conditions.
Introduce to every officer the procedure for organizing anti-tank defense, which should include:
– a two-tier construction of the AT defense is provided;
– measures to combat both counterattack tanks and armored fortified points are indicated.
Take measures to consolidate occupied lines.
The two-tier construction of AT defense should be understood as follows:
– first tier – fire weapons from platoon to regiment (from anti-tank grenades to regimental guns); this tier is mobile and is located in infantry combat formations; his task is to fight enemy tanks and self-propelled guns encountered along the path of troops;
– the second tier is organized in depth from anti-tank fighter regiments and other artillery reinforcement means. This tier moves in jumps from line to line and ensures the advancement of the infantry.
A solid knowledge by officers and soldiers of the order of constructing anti-tank support prevents tank fear.
Each unit should have groups of sapper-hunters to blow up tanks.
12) The battle must be continuous, waged day and night. Continuity is achieved through reserves and the use of battalions specially trained for night combat. When issuing an order to commit a reserve to battle, the same order should also indicate the creation of a new reserve.
The order for a night battle should be given in such a way that the unit is not late in starting action.
13) The attack must be general. Do not allow the formation's battle to turn into battles of individual units. This can only be achieved by good observation of the enemy, knowledge of the situation, immediate response to the course of the battle, and solving the problem using fire weapons.
14) The battle must be deep, which means that commanders are required to know not only the object they are attacking, but also what is behind it, by organizing deep reconnaissance.
15) Provide advance relocation to new command posts and OPs. The relocation plan must be approved in advance by a senior commander. The axis of movement of the command post must be known to junior commanders.
You can move to a new point only when communication is established there.
16) Commanders who have personal radio stations should always keep them with them and during the offensive do not move forward without them.
17) The names of the commanders of units and formations are addressed on the radio only by their operational call signs, because some of them were published in the orders of the Supreme Commander-in-Chief and mentioning them will enable the enemy to establish from which front these units or formations arrived.
18) Prohibit communications on the radio in the clear. Use only communications tables, reference diagrams and coded maps.
ISSUES OF ORGANIZATION AND MANAGEMENT OF FIRE
1) All commanders should check their subordinates’ knowledge of the materiel, ability to eliminate delays, and tactically, competently, fire and use each type of weapon.
2) Check all weapons for trouble-free operation and combat accuracy.
3) Require officers, non-commissioned officers and enlisted personnel to make full use of infantry fire, especially at the moment when artillery fire will be transferred from the first trench to the second.
Carefully consider infantry fire according to the stages of the battle.
2-3 minutes before launching an attack, heavy machine guns should open fire on the enemy trench under attack. Be sure to take into account which heavy machine guns will go on the attack with the infantry and which ones will support them with fire.
Light machine guns must be completely in the combat formations of the attacking infantry and fire on the move and from short stops.
Fire from machine guns on the move during an attack, taking into account to save ammunition when you need to fight in the second and subsequent trenches.
4) Artillery commanders should not dismiss the organization of fire combat for the infantry itself. Take into account the fire of heavy and light machine guns in planning.
5) The guns will be assigned to companies and platoons; you should always help them move with you, and not abandon them.
6) Commanders of rifle corps and divisions and artillery commanders should give instructions to officers up to the company commander on how and what type of artillery should be assigned tasks.
7) Each commander is obliged to know what assets are operating in his offensive zone in addition to his group. Every leader should inform his subordinates about this so that they can take it into account when making a decision.
8) Division commanders must approve the OP for direct fire guns. Each direct fire weapon must have its own target, the nature and position of this target, the number of shells to hit it, and the time for their consumption.
Rifle corps, divisions and regiments must have general fire plans for direct fire guns.
Direct fire guns should only be placed on the observation posts when the latter are fully prepared and all work is camouflaged. After installing direct fire guns, they should also be carefully camouflaged so that the enemy could not guess their presence even with the help of photographs.
9) In terms of artillery fire for the destruction of trenches, each artillery and mortar battery must have its own area, preventing firing in areas.
Check target numbers with batteries and guns to ensure there are no typos or errors. Also check the trench numbers.
10) Particularly consider the issue of organizing fire to repel counterattacks of small groups of the enemy, with the help of which he seeks to delay our advance. In such cases, the counterattacking infantry must be met with organized fire and, pursuing it, burst into his trenches on the shoulders of the enemy.
11) When moving artillery, first of all move those batteries whose fire has reached the [range] limit.
ISSUES OF USING TANKS AND SELF-PROPELLED GUNS
1) Eliminate the shortcomings in the use of self-propelled artillery that occurred in previous battles: excessive fragmentation of self-propelled units, the use of self-propelled guns as tanks, lack of proper assistance from sappers in clearing mines, building bridges, etc.
Self-propelled guns are used to reinforce regiments as infantry escort weapons.
In regimental battle formations, self-propelled guns should be placed behind the infantry.
2) Provide assigned tanks with fire from the guns of the infantry's anti-tank system. The guns accompanying the tanks must be accurately aimed at the enemy firing points that they need to suppress.
3) Fully use the minesweeper tanks attached to formations. The actions of these tanks will be supported by infantry fire.
To remove and neutralize mines not detonated by minesweeper tanks, assign sapper groups to accompany them.
ENTERING RESERVES INTO BATTLE
(second echelons)
1) Take all necessary measures to eliminate the possibility of delay in bringing reserves (second echelons) into battle.
The commanders of the reserve units must be at the OP together with the commanders of the units advancing in the first echelon.
2) Commanders of reserve units are required to conduct reconnaissance on all possible directions of action of their units.
3) Thoroughly work out on the ground issues of interaction related to the introduction of reserves. Determine the boundaries of deployment, reassignment of reinforcement equipment, establish signals and the procedure for organizing communications.
Avoid delays in switching amplifiers.
INTRODUCTION OF MOBILE GROUPS INTO THE BREAKTHROUGH
Commanders of rifle divisions and regiments can be appointed heads of mobile groups. They need to remember the following:
– more initiative; do not wait for the decision of senior commanders;
– conduct thorough reconnaissance, especially engineering;
– always have a group of sappers ready to clear mine routes, fix roads, and build bridges;
– in case of major damage, use all available human resources to correct it, without waiting for the sapper units to arrive;

• ensure communication both within the group and especially with the highest headquarters of the formation in whose zone it operates;

– before the introduction of a mobile group, check that the issues of interaction, communication and support have been worked out by the commander in whose zone the group operates.
BATTLE MANAGEMENT ISSUES
1) By 12/20/44, check the staffing, composition and preparedness of the headquarters of company and battalion commanders and the availability of communications equipment. Avoid loss of control in this link.
Every officer must once again understand that control during battle is the basis of success; its loss threatens to disrupt the offensive.
2) Rocket signals should be a means of control only by the regiment commander. Other commanders duplicate these signals.
The signals should be common throughout the breakthrough area.
3) Use only white flares to indicate our front line when flying our aircraft. These missiles should only be launched at the very front line. Prohibit the use of white flares for any other signals. Corps commanders should check and report the presence of white flares and signal pistols.
4) Ensure that rifle units (companies) are always combat-ready. It is necessary to maintain a combination of manpower and fire.
After each battle, restore the combat readiness and firepower of the attacking units.
5) Each commander must have two pre-appointed deputies.

This happend about a month ago, it was 2:30am and i was going to bed, when a freind of mine asked if i could pick him up. I owed him a ride so i thought «why not» and jumped in my car. He was a 10 min drive from my place so i put on some tunes and i was vibing. At this point i get a little woozy and i realize, i was out of the melatonin i can’t sleep without, and the three alternative sleeping aids (beers) i chugged before bed had just kicked in.
At this point i’m almost at the place my friend was at so i think to myself «its 3am on a thursday, who’s gonna pull me over?» so i pull up to the place and call my friend. He comes out with another guy i didnt know and they are both extremely high. Weed is pretty illegal in my country, but again i think «its 3am on a thursday, whats the worst can happen?» i drive the guy i didnt know to his place and me and my friend keep driving. At this point we’re in a school zone and i pass a cop car in a roundabout, i’m driving just under the speed limit and my phone is in my pocket, but still they pull out behind me. I rethink my earlier thought; «its 3am on a thursday»
I take a left, they take a left. I take a right, they take a right. Now i must admit my 3 am on a thursday argument was losing its grip on me. And just as i’m about to turn into my friends neighbourhood, the blue lights come on. I pull into a bus pocket and they pull in behind me. Now, alittle drunk, me and my, very high, friend are both pretty freaked out.
The cop comes up to my window, that of course doesn’t work, so i open my door, and he asks for my licence. «No problem officer!» i say as i reach for my wallet. Well where do you think my wallet was? If you guessed my pocket, you would be wrong! But no worries in my country we have a driving licence app, that can legally be used during trafic stops! So i pull up my phone and go to the app. I ask the cop to give me a few while i log in. This would be a great time to mention that i have ADHD (if that wasn’t obvious), and i dont know about other countries, but here you have to get a health certificate to be allowed to drive if you have ADHD. This also means you have to renew your licence after the first two years, and wouldn’t you guess it? When i logged in to the drivings licence app it said «EXPIRED»
At this point the cop gets the great idea that this would be a great lesson to the two rookie cops they were training, so now there is me, alittle drunk, my friend, very high, and FOUR cops, two of which do not know how to proceed.
The one rookie gives me a drug test, he asks me a bunch of questions and then he says the most dreadfull line i’ve ever heard: «have you ever done a breathalyzer test?» i was panicking, i took a deep breath and blew. And i do not know who in heaven, hell or anywhere in between i have to thank, but i swear that test said 0.00.
Now the next three hours are kind of a blur. (yes three fucking hours for a trafic stop!) but at some point my friend is let go, and i am told that i am not to drive under any circumstance until they say otherwise. How did i get home you might ask? Well i think the rookie cops felt bad for holding me for so long, so as the sun rose at 6am on a thursday two rookie police officers drove me home in my own car.
Turns out three hour trafic stops are a terrific sleeping aids.
TL;DR I drove a little drunk and with an expired licence, and had lady luck on my side all the way.

First of all the goal of my post is not to give medical instructions/advice as I am not a Dr. In real life I am inquisitve and bold with a good sprinkle of geek.
The purpose of this post is to offer knowledge of a treatment that WILL be a bain to Big Pharma and a quality of life improvement and potentially a life line for millions. Big Pharma is attempting to backshelf this and it just won't happen as long as I have a say. Too my story....
Life was not kind to me in the 90's I was 24 and had a series of health and mental issues that led me to the heavy use of cocaine. I actually made the decision based on what was going on.
Eventually the problems were dealt with, however there was one thing that was stubborn . All that cocaine ruined my erections. As I know now cocaine is an irritant to the arteries.
First at the age of 30 it was easily treated with viagra most of the time just 50mg and I was good to go, slowly it became 75mg then 100mg at age 48.
That is when I introduce multiple doses and then even added Cialis to the mix and the effectiveness when down. However it was still good enough to get by..barely.
Fast forward to September 2019 . I first noticed I had a cough , no phlem just a cough that would last anywhere from 5-30 seconds at a time. I am a person that normally hops out of bed and always have periods of intense workouts to keep my body good. In addition to the fatigue my memory started failing and I couldn't eat a satifying meal without feeling nauseous. It was so bad that I quit my brick and mortar job that I had and actually told a bartender that "I feel like I am dying" . Well after 6 weeks the major problems went away. it was a few months later that they annouced Covid and as the list of symptoms came in 6 months later I realized that is what I had.
So I was 52 very fit looking and could still pull very attractive people but could only perform 20% of the time with at least 3 medications. One day I met this absolutely gorgeous person and we tried, they were patient and my dick was just this cold shriveled mass. It was absolutely humiliating . In addition I started having prostate problems coupled with tingling and coldness in my right arm hand.
At the time the situation was so dire ... I love sex so to have issues even masturbating was crazy.
I then started looking at other ways to deal with the problem kegels (I have to admit they did improve things, but not nearly enough). I tried running (again a help but far from a marked improvement). Shockwave therapy (was on a board with other guys trying it ..expensive and barely any results for anyone).
At this point I knew this was heading to ED drug injection and then a penile implant. I started with research on an implant because I would rather be one and done...that was my logic til I started to read that I would never have a natural erection again.
I decided to give on last search on how to clear the arteries and up popped this NIH research paper on how HPBCD cleared arteries quickly. I read further and read how this MOM of 2 children with a disease called NPC or Nieman Pick disease came up with a treatment through use of a 40 year old substance that was used to distribute lipid based drugs. Then I came across an article how a millionare prevented his second bypass surgery by having his heart doctor administrate the molecule to him. After that is was a 3 month long search which included me finding the molecule on AMAZON..yes frickin Amazon way within my budget.. It seem to good to be true but I ordered some.
So then I made the enema and it was having some effect but I really wanted to test it out and have and have some kind of regimen to pass on if it actually worked.
So in the mist of this decision to go IV , I met this one gorgeous person. Passionate everything I wanted and again my dick was shriveled and cold. I got so desperate that I went upstairs and got a insulin need that I bought for my plan of IV usage ...loaded it with 3 a gram solution and injected it into my penile dorsal vein (I seriously want to warn anyone, I got lucky because if I hit the artery below the dorsal vein I would have probably been in a world of pain) .
What happened next was crazy in my mind , the next day my penis was absolutely noticeably harder. THIS SHIT WORKED.
I went into overdrive trying to figure out how to safely inject myself , so many hard to aquire medical things were bought...I was all in. Eventually I figured it out , studied and studied again the doses the percentage of clearance per gram.
I didn't notice for a bit but my prostatitis just simpley vanished, my cold and tingling arm/hand went away and never came back. My erections were very slowly getting better and then came the problems.
My kidneys were feeling the effects of me dosing hard and heavy for so long...I had to take a break from the traditional IV doses I was doing. My kidneys needed a break . My charts show that I went from 85 GFR to 62 GFR and that didn't feel good at all.
On my break I recalled one of the many articles I had read about HPBCD as a therapeutic and one came to mind... A researcher had mice that he manipulated to have a hind leg circulation deficency. He directly injected them to have a very quick cure with the molecule. My mind went back to that first desperate shot.
During my investigation on how to inject myself safely I read that the corpora cavernosa was a really easy injection site...
I put it off for awhile (I mean sticking a needle in your dick..shit is crazy). Eventually I made a promise I would return. I kept my promise in things took off. The first month was a whole year of regular IV in terms of improvement .
I am 5 month in ...have incorporated cock rings an tourniquets and my results are undeniably great. My kidney number have improved so I am all in with results coming in weeks instead of months . I do beleive using the tourniquets have created a space of cholesterol depletion which the whole mechanism of cholesterol transport draws from the closest arteries.
I wrote a lot and sorry for any misspellings.
This is my story 56 performing like I am 28.

Content warning: brief mention about depression, suicide, and gore
I've had depression and anxiety as long as I can remember, and actively wanted to kill myself since about 2nd grade. I started Lexapro in college (20mg once a day), and my suicidal tendencies have been all but eliminated. I have good motivation, I generally look forward to living, and have a very positive outlook on my life. However, I have so many things that bother me that I don't know what to do about. Some people close to me have died recently, further exacerbating my negative feelings (which I know is natural but is still tough).
I talked to a psychiatrist about some of these problems and he just recommended meditation for now. Which I can do, but I've tried to deal with these problems my whole life, and nothing I've ever done has seemed to help much.
Should I get therapy? A diagnosis? Like I said, I generally have a pretty good outlook, right now is just especially rough, but the habits/obsessions below persist through everything. Some might be normal, I'm not sure. I have insurance, and am pretty willing to take advice.
As far as details about me, I exercise a few 3-5 times a week, I eat relatively healthy, I drink water, I talk with friends, I enjoy my job and my hobbies. I cook, I clean, I brush my teeth. I occasionally get mild depressive episodes during times of strife. I drink wine with meals/friends maybe ~1-3 times a month, never binge drinking. I take edibles occasionally (-0-1 time a month starting last year), which generally relax me. Never done any other drugs. I am a 26 year old male. I am patient with people, and don't get angry at others easily. I laugh at myself when I make dumb mistakes. I think people with mental illnesses of all types deserve compassion and help.
Old problems:

• "Hmmmph" noise: would constantly make this noise, I wouldn't feel right if I didn't
• Shirt biting
• Sleep paralysis most nights
• Self beatings
• Intense thoughts of family members dying
• Suicidal thoughts/tendencies
• Kleptomania
• Biting cuticles until bad infections

Current problems:

• Picking and eating scabs/skin from my face
• Picking nose and eating it
• Biting and eating nails
• Scraping plaque from teeth with fingernail and eating it
• Nightmares: most of the time they are of me yelling at family/friends until they hate me. Worse ones are of my old dog getting dissolved in pools of acid. Further worse ones keep me from willingly going to sleep for a few days out of fear.
• When walking/driving I am constantly thinking about how I need to get to a certain point before an event happens. For example: "I have to walk past this tree before that car passes me or else I'll have a bad day". And regardless if I "make" it or not, I just have the same thought but with a different point/event.
• Need to touch certain things, especially plants or things that stick out.
• Inadvertently make faces/sound/muttering when walking (only when deep in thought)
• Can feel cracks after stepping on them, if I touch something on my right leg I need to touch the left leg the same way.
• Maladaptive Daydreaming: not as bad as of recently, used to pace back and forth alone for hours.
• Repetitive actions/routines
• Dreams in Dreams
• Need to watch videos to fall asleep, otherwise I can't stop thinking
• Focus on objects leaving frame during movies, similar to the "get to a certain point before an event happen"
• Sleeping to pass the time (16+ hours a day asleep or in bed)
• Dislike things pointed at neck, even a pen on a desk needs to be point away from my neck
• Heavily dislike other people touching me
• Performance anxiety
• Personification of objects, I feel bad if I separate two pencils for example
• Particular about how I type things. I need to remove trailing whitespace from lines. Also, I need to backspace/delete text in a particular way or else I feel uneasy.
• Meticulous collection of data (I tracked every purchase I made for a year to the cent).
• Need to follow routines/traditions (must step on this rug before going up the stairs)
• Peeing anxiety, I have intense fear that I am going to piss myself when I'm in meetings. No idea why.
• Bad eye contact
• Addictive personality
• Repeat same things over and over when overwhelmed
• Existential dread
• Procrastination
• Need to hold and look at things I’ve made
• Ex girlfriend told me I should get autism tested

I am heartbroken. I loved my little planes. My carbon cub taught me how to fly. And my UMX Turbo Timber was my fun little guy to toss about the skies.
Flying RC planes is not my only hobby; rocketry is one of my others. They make these chute release devices so you don’t have to walk as far to collect your rocket, it deploys the chute once it falls below a certain altitude. As if I didn’t already learn my lesson, I killed my carbon cub, this time completely, by testing the chute release (which hasn’t been working on my launches lately) on the plane. The first time I had this brilliant idea- about a year ago- I just taped the device onto the plane. Chute releases, is supposed to fly away altogether but instead inflates and gets stuck in the rear stabilizer. Crash, nearly totaled. Enter: frankencub.
THIS time, I dangled it below the plane with rubber bands, but one of the chute lines decided to conveniently wrap itself around the tail landing gear. Totaled. That was yesterday.
As for my UMX Turbo Timber EVO, I lost orientation while doing a barrel roll above a pine tree I swore was further away. It wasn’t further away. Completely the result of my own poor decision making. Crashed and took residence 40 feet up a pine tree. Probably was repairable but it’s not like I’ll ever get that one back. Gone. That was an hour ago.
Even though I had already ordered a plane yesterday after totaling my Carbon Cub, a Decanthlon 1.2m (aerobatic high-wing), I feel so deflated by this tragic sequence of events. Why should I want to continue doing this if it always results in the same end? I wouldn’t even say that I’m a bad pilot, frankly before tonight I thought myself a pretty good one. I have good control over the planes, landing too, but my decision making has proven to be the bane of my flying experience. The aerobatic maneuvers that I am more than capable of doing I execute at the wrong times.
Don’t know what advice I’m looking for, but please lay it on me.

I live in a semi-rural area a few kilometres from a town with a highway that runs through it. An intersection on that highway (in town) has a traffic camera that is registered by my dashcam, a Navman MiVue model, every time I approach it and has done so since I got it a couple of years ago. When I approach, the screen changes to show how far away the camera is in metres, a number which changes as I get closer, decreasing to near 0. Once I pass it, the dashcam screen returns to normal. This is the only place in town where the dashcam changes to show that a speed camera is present. It's been that way since I got the camera. (I assume that most dashcams function this way.)
About 3 weeks ago, my dashcam started registering a speed camera within about 50 metres of my home. As mentioned, I live in a semi-rural area, on a corner block that's about 5 acres. There are no visible traffic cameras on the roads or anywhere else. When I get within a few hundred metres of our property (of which I'm currently the only occupant), the dashcam's screen changes to indicate that there's a speed camera about 500 metres away. It decreases as I approach the driveway and decreases more as I drive up the driveway. I've made an effort to triangulate the source of whatever my dashcam is receiving as a signal that a traffic camera is nearby. I did this by driving up and down a road adjacent to the property (parallel to our driveway) and finding at what point along that road the dashcam changes to its normal screen. Consistently, when I pass a certain point on the road at which the reading on the screen shows a traffic camera about 80 metres away, the screen changes to normal, indicating (I assume) that the distance from the signal has begun to increase. Based on that alone, it seems that the signal is coming from a spot about 80 metres perpendicular from that particular point on the road in one direction or the other. So I drove onto our property (about a 5-acre lot) and started driving in a direction perpendicular to the road, as close as I could get to the fence that the signal seemed to be on the other side of. This test corroborated that the signal was coming from pretty close to the house (within 30 metres) but likely somewhere on the neighbours' property. Their house is about 300 metres away, and between it and our house is the slope of a hill (which we're near the bottom of), some grazing land that's usually unoccupied (though the thought that it's a cattle-tracking device has occurred to me), and a single tree. It would make no sense for there to be a speed camera there, 80 metres from the road. What could it be?
Summary: Something aside from a speed camera is being registered by my dashcam as a speed camera, and I'm not sure what it is. I drive along many roads and past many properties, but it's only near our house that this happens. The signal is coming from a place that's over 70 metres from any road. What could trigger my dashcam in this way? Has it somehow registered that this is where I live and because of some glitch confused my location with a pre-set location of a speed camera? Does someone want to remind me that I'm being watched? What kind of signal could be registered by a dashcam as a traffic camera/speed camera?

I've read people's opinion on it and why it makes sense vs the one's who don't like it. Watched gameplay from different people. played multiple games with this rework trying out different strategys. No matter what is going on it's just awful to play. I genuinely don't see why they did this and most of the people who like it can't even explain why. Most just like it because it's a (new) support because it's a support without caring about the character. Others want it to happen whether because they hate going against Moji or the low pickrate excuse even though kinnesa and strix exist. So like the other actual Moji mains or people who know how she operates and her history. I'm going to explain everything wrong with this rework and why it shouldn't happen.
 

Spit & Sparkle

\ \ I have multiple problems with this change. Let's start with the fact that sparkle now self slows you for 20% when used. It used to be 10% which was one of the main issues that we wanted to be removed but kept it now it's at 20%. So now Moji has a ball and chain on her and anyone with extra speed will outrun Moji's heals and damage. Thought supports was supposed to stay with the team. Not have a hard time keeping up with them. No wonder Moji she tells Po-Li to go faster. In order to do it you have to stop healing, then heal, and do it again which means you have less healing. Unless of course they're glued to the point which won't happen in most cases since people have to constantly move in different areas because of what's happening.
Also when it comes to attacking and running away you might as well stay still. Where are you going while being self slowed for 20% while having a big hurtbox? Everyone in this sub just forgot about her big hurtbox which makes Fighting even more of a issue. Even if you use morning breath which takes off 4% of self slow. You still have the big hurtbox issue and less options for better cards which most of them suck that I'll slightly explain later as well. Self slow should be gone in general. It should have never stayed especially when they decided to remove it for everyone else.
Second issue is her damage. There was a reason why she did 1,000 damage and not 450. Not only that but they removed her ability to mark enemies by default. You can with a talent but I'll get to that later. Spit does the main damage and now sparkle does limited tickle damage which also means you're wasting your heals. Who thought this made sense in the slightest. You have to use that in order to kill your enemies faster. When your done you have to wait for it to refill to attack the next enemy coming when no one else comes to help making you helpless. Or you somehow kill the enemy because it's hard to do unless low health. You have to use the rest of it to heal your team which you won't have enough of. This is painful to use.
Third issue is it has heal ammo like IO that runs out quick. Yes you can mark your team but it still isn't enough and doesn't fix the main problems. Her main healing is short range. Name one healer in the game that has a short range in healing. They also have to manually heal with sparkle which other manual healers especially auto or assisted aim healers can do way better. God forbid if they have to come back into battle and try to heal a low health teammate with spit which you will miss multiple times. So what's the point of healing with this character. Moving on to Magic Shield
 

Magic Shield

 
This ability doesn't do much for her team or herself and she should have kept magic barrier. This ability feels like a worse version of Torvalds removed talent alternating current. Instead of delaying your death by 1.5 seconds you delay it by one attack and take the next few shots before being able to run away. The only possible use of it is a niche build and team where you run with a flank while having the card harmonious. With the card you are basically a walking dispenser that shoots with the flank you will hug through most of the game. We already have enough niche things that can be pretty boring and are hardly used. Torvalds had multiple of those. Moji doesn't need it too.
 

Scamper

\ \ You can now run indefinitely with it. They removed bunny hopping but then they brought it back when they realized that she was a literal bunny. When they brought it back though they nerfed the speed and the bunny hops. It's so noticeable that it's not any different from the scamper ability when it comes to speed. The only good thing about it is when you do the advanced tech when trying to spray. That is until that 20% self slow puts a ball and chain on you. This doesn't fix her main issues and they made it worse beilieve it or not. Here's there reason on doing it.
Due to changes to how Scamper functions, Bunny Hopping will be weaker at base than it was prior. In order to feel similar to how it did on Moji prior, you'll want high levels of both Boop and Morning Breath to allow those same flings across spaces.
This is completely wrong because when did we ever had a card that decreases self slow. Your really trying to tell me that Moji players, grandmaster Moji players, and bot Moji didn't know anything about it??? Guess it was hidden in the game the whole time. Plus it doesn't even change the speed of bunny hopping because you nerfed it and nothing in her cards effects it. So in order to maintain any kind of speed I have to put points into morning breath which is pretty a forced have too in game. Also who uses boop to increase the speed after using scamper. No one used it because bunny hopping was way better than that because you're able to move while attacking and defending yourself. Anyone running it was basically throwing without knowing. Not even maxing out scoot will save you. Your just delaying your death with that maxed out 20% damage reduction and giving them more ult. Seriously if using regular scamper made you die when trying to escape. What's making it indefinitely going to do?
 

Bon Appetite

\ \ This one really amazes me because they actually put part of yummy into base kit that we asked for halve what. Except there is no ult percentage and gives 50% of maximum health instead of 1000hp and ignores anti-healing. Problem is. This ult is now basically worse than pips ult and atlas setback. They changed everything else but the ultimate in order to keep the old Moji play style that is pretty much dead. They clearly want her to be glued to her team and with this ultimate you make them have to run to the opponent to eat it. The main use now for it is to use it for defence which is horrible because it's so easy to predict it. Most characters can either block, CC immune, dodge, and other things to ignore being ulted. Even with the cancels it won't work. You had a better chance of using it because you can attack regularly, use the magic barrier combo, and other methods to make people take the ultimate. Without magic barrier she less uses for her ultimate. It's now a long charging ability and is terrible. Now for the talents.
 

Spit Shine

\ \ Spit now heals them for 350 and increases their Movement Speed by 20% for 2s. Why is this reworked Moji's only true support talent. This talents fine until you realize that it's also goes against Moji and the team. Let me explain. Remember how Moji has 20% self slow when she fires. Well now that the team is moving at 120% now you're basically moving at 60% and they're outrunning you. Some characters can move even faster and you will basically be at a speed of 40%-60%. So if you felt forced using morning breath you will using this talent and have to make it 5 points. Even with morning breath maxed out. You will be moving at 60%-80% and will be forced to use scamper and may get attacked by a enemy and can't run or hurt them enough. You're just a bad assist healer with some use that is not enough.
 

Jubilation

\ \ Reworked to "Magic Marks are now instead applied to enemies. Detonating at least 7 stacks of Magic Mark deals bonus damage, up to a total of 800". I'm aware that she is a support but they still don't know why she did 1,000 damage in the first place. With this talent you no longer have the ability to use the secondary to heal people. This talent will bring these types of players.
The ones who like old Moji and then realizing that they changed so much that flank Moji is not possible. Instead they may go damage and heal from time to time. Another one is that someone uses it for defence while mainly healing the team and forcing two supports to play in the match. The last one is someone you will see more often is someone not able to play Moji or the talent well. Youthought grohk going damage and seris flanking on the same team was bad. Get ready for her to join the team. Your going to ask them so who is going main support and who will play tank and it's television static. The seris will stand around too much and do a bunch of questionable things. Grohk only has some heals because they were there when they played damage. The Moji is struggling to do anything with it. The seris will plug and the bad grohk player will say something crazy before leaving a millisecond later.
No matter what you do with the talent based on your skill. Nothing just works for reworked Moji including the cards. The damaged worked because she had magic barrier and damage combos with it. Without it she can't do anything when she's is in danger including running away with the giant hurtbox.
 

Realm Runner

\ \ When entering Scamper, leave a magical dust cloud behind that applies a lingering heal for 600 over 3s. Dust cloud lasts 4s.
Moji mains have been wanting toot I mean realm runner in base kit for awhile because it's not a real talent. It's a better version of scurry and when it's in base kit then she would actually be able to use the other two talents and do better without ruining gameplay for anyone. Instead they kept it as a talent to play the old Moji. What old Moji...you got rid of almost everything Moji who is basically just a echo champion at this rate. You turned a forced talent into a throw talent.
The dust cloud we wanted back is just a sparkly circle on the ground that people won't be able to see. Plus is like back then where the team can see it and no one else. Otherwise people will know where she is and take her down. Why.
 

Cards

\ \ None of the cards have any synergy with each other at all. You're basically forced to use morning especially with the healing talent at 3-5. Since default ammunition for sparkle is terrible you will definitely need 3-5 points for symbiotic. Dense woods never needed any points above 1 and was a decent filler card for old Moji. However since this is reworked Moji. Don't think it's worth using since you will try to be around the team constantly and should already be enough. Now we have 5-9 points for ourselves so what can we do. Uhhhh. Well damn.
Oh I didn't mention this earlier but remember how spit shine and Moji's 20% self slow makes the team run away from her. Well the card natures blessing gives allies 5% extra speed when they get hit by spray for 3 seconds. So you can max this out at 25%. Instead of being 40-60% slower than faster teammates being healed with there speed cards and abilitys. 60% slower when trying to healer teammates without anything making them move faster besides you. This is how fast you will be moving compared to them.
You will be moving at 15% at worst to 55% when trying to heal teammates while trying to heal them as they really outrun your heals. With morning breath maxed out you will mainly be moving at 35%-75% while healing. No one has tested this character at all.
Anyway you can look at the cards and get some ideas as we move on to the long time Moji bugs. So for the people who been playing Moji or about to with support Moji. Get ready to deal with these long time annoying bugs.
 

Weapons/Armor

\ \ Fluffy
Increase your maximum Health by {5050}.
Peppy
Generate {0.40.4}% Ultimate Charge when triggering a max stack Magic Mark.
Symbiotic
Increase your Sparkle capacity by {66}%.
Will-o-the-Wisp
Increase your Movement Speed by {55}% for 4s after getting an Elimination.
 

Sparkle

\ \ Dense Woods
Increase the duration of your Magic Marks by {0.80.8}s.
Greater Good
When an ally receives max Magic Marks, they gain a {2020} Health Shield while marked.
Morning Breath
Reworked to "Decrease self-slow of Sparkle by 2020%"
Nature’s Blessing
Allies gain {55}% Movement Speed for 3s after being hit by Familiar Spray.
 

Magic Shield

\ \ Cozy
Magic Shield Heals allies for {66} every 0.25s while its being channeled.
Glimmer
Reduce Magic Shield’s Cooldown by {0.10.1}s when detonating a max stack Magic Mark.
Harmonious
Regenerate {31}% Sparkle and Ammo for affected allies every 0.25s while channeling Magic Barrier.
Shimmering
Allies affected by Magic Barrier gain {33}% Crowd Control resistance for 4s.
 

Scamper

\ \ Boop
Increase your Movement Speed by {88}% for 2s after using Scamper.
Scoot
Reduce the damage you take during Scamper by {44}%.
Scurry
Heal for {2020} every 0.3s during Scamper.
Wobbles
Gain {1010}% Slow resistance while using Scamper.
 

The Bugs

\ \ It isn't a paladins games without mentioning the bugs. Here's what to expect when playing her so you don't get confused.
If a seris or Kasumi is on the team and attack the same enemy as you. Your marks will reset back to zero everytime they attack. Now can this somehow happen when trying to heal the same teammates. No idea but anything goes with paladins.
If you mark a enemy, shoot spit at them and die. Despite the mark being there the game will for some reason make you do zero mark damage.
A enemys hurtbox when turned into a cookie is really weird. You can touch them multiple times and still won't be eaten until they finally do. Sometimes they may turn back to normal even though you clearly deserved it. Last part hasn't happened to me and I hope it doesn't. What's even weirder is that even though you can't eat them from the front from time to time. Even when they're literally on your head and jumping around. You can definitely eat them from behind with no misses. Why has this not been fixed.
When being ulted by furia that's supposed to give 30% extra damage. You will instead receive 9% extra damage. I don't think this happens to no one else besides maybe jenos too.
These bugs are still relevant for reworked Moji. The other ones are not there like snack attack so I won't mention them. I even have videos for these bugs too. Don't think because these videos are old it means that it no longer happens. The horse bug is old and that has been going on for years including other things.
https://www.reddit.com/Paladins/comments/tvfhlg/a_video_of_multiple_moji_bugs_happening_ill/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
https://www.reddit.com/Paladins/comments/z33w1x/yeah_that_makes_sense/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
 

Conclusion

\ \ I know they want to do something with her but I don't buy it that they did this because they cared about Moji. Moji hardly got any changes for years and I mean rarely a update to anything about her even though we're telling them what to do and then they rework them. They did thid because they didn't have funds for a echo champion since that was mentioned in the exact same post when talking about changing moji. Paladins has a history of someone who works on the game saying they will do this or mention a thing. Whether or not people like it or not which most of them we didn't like. They will still do it like echo champions.
This is the wrong way to go about it and no warning was ever given. To people who think well people ask for support/tank in the past. Those people now see that Moji is actually better than how people depicted her in late season 2. Plus those people no longer play the game and had a whole different idea when paladins was different back then. It's one thing to say I want a support. It's another when it comes to a type of support and what they have but everyone can't explain it because they simply hate Moji based on the comments. There are some characters I hate going against and when there character gets gutted I don't cheer in excitement. I would hate that to happen to my favorite characters. I simply want a certain thing nerf if it's clearly too much but without ruining them. I only suggest a rework or change to a certain thing if nothing else can work and is something people can agree on that benefits everyone.
These changes don't benefit anyone including the ideas since no one asked for these specific things. I would just revert it and actually listen to Moji mains needs to make her a better character. Not just Moji but every character. Especially the non human characters because they stay ignore them including people wanting ruckus Aerial Assault in base kit. Rather you guys fix the actual issues than do stuff like this. Including finishing unfinished maps instead of a unnecessary map rework making them worse to play on and never fixed.
That's all I have to say. Please let me know your thoughts on this. Actually have a real opinion and thoughts and not repeat the same thing over and over without making a actual point or I'm ignoring it.

Fuck.
I don't know if this is the right place to post this. I used to be a very caring child (I actually really, truly cared about others) but life taught me that no one will really care about me (being a weirdo didn't help at all and I'm ashamed that at one point I used to do others' homework, tests, etc. in high school so people would pay attention and have even paid people to hang out with me). The most caring I've experienced has been not caring about me as a person but as a role in their life (e.g. my parents had an idea of me as a son who would act a certain way and were angry any time I acted differently than that) and hated when I strained from that. Maybe some others cared somewhat but were disappointed when instead of getting better, my depression (running on 6 years of different levels of depressed (didn't even realize anything other than my "can't get out of bed, not taking a shower for days" periods was considered depression until my psychiatrist told me) at this point, shooting for 10) got worse and ended up leaving me.
Anyways, I developed a lot of coping mechanisms to avoid even starting to care about people so I wouldn't get hurt and I suppose they got deeply ingrained, depression definitely helped too in making me the uncaring asshole I've become. On more than one occasion, someone's been telling me about a problem they have, looking for sympathy, and I've told them "Do you have something else to complain about because this isn't interesting to me anymore?". People have learned that they cannot expect any sort of emotional relationship with me (I'll help them with something practical or advice if I happen to have any and they'll do the same for me but they know I'm not the person to go to for sympathy or anything of the kind). I guess I don't want to be that person anymore. There are three people in my life left, each of who I've only talked to/met once or twice this year and meet ups have been slowly getting rarer and rarer and we've been growing more and more distant and honestly I'd rather not see them but loneliness has been fucking with my mental health. When we do see each other, we can only talk about "deeper" topics which I'm fine with but they want something personal and that's not what I'm good at.
The problem is, I really don't care about these people at all and if I randomly met three people who are similarly intelligent/funny and could help further my career as much (networking is important in software development, I just got a job through one of them), I wouldn't care about the current ones at all. In fact, at the end of high school, when not caring had finally developed some deep roots, I used to change the people I spent time with every month since they were all the same to me. How do I start caring again?
I really have lost the ability to empathize. I can only feel sympathy when someone has a problem I could have and even then I only think "What would I do if I had that problem? I'm really glad I don't have this problem. How can I prevent this from happening to me?". I can at least show some emotion in this case since I'm an emotional person and if I imagine something happening to me, I feel really close to what I'd feel if it actually happened and just think about myself and replace some facts so I can say the right things and make the right faces. I guess at least this counts.
Maybe "fake it till you make it" is the way but the problem is, I'm not a good actor. I practically don't have a relationship with my grandmother, so if someone's grandma dies, I just say "That sucks. Anyways, ..." with a deadpan face with no attempt at faking emotion instead of doing the whole "my condolences" thing and the sympathy face because I cannot just do emotion on the go and it just ends up a weird grimace. I'm good at not showing emotion but not acting like I am experiencing one.
Also, how the fuck would I choose who to care about? Everyone is definitely not an option. I could do the aforementioned three but they aren't good at emotion too and wouldn't be able to help me emotionally (would be pretty one-sided if I was good at this), so why bother with them? Maybe I need to meet new people, start with a clean slate? How would I even do that with my schedule, idk.
Honestly, I have no interest in people and look at socializing like working out. It sucks ass but has a lot of positive effects on mental health (working out also on physical). At the same time, I long for someone to care about me and to care about someone, spending lots of time with them, etc. but in that vague way similar to how I like the vague idea of being rich (or a professional gymnast, or whatever) and dealing only with investing and that type of thing but wouldn't bother getting to that point and I would definitely enjoy it less than programming even if I could. Basically I like the vague idea but don't really want it in reality, idk if the example helped.
Maybe caring about people is just a kid thing and wanting it stuck since I'm definitely emotionally immature. Maybe we all just pretend to care about others because we want something from them and do half-assed attempts to lie to ourselves so we don't feel like bad people and since I don't particularly care about that, I just didn't learn it.
I really don't know what to do. My desires are contradictory and I lose whatever I choose and yet want to try something I don't think I can do. I think it's probably time to finally accept that my life ended years ago and I just need to be put out of my misery. When I try to look at myself from a third-person perspective, it makes the most sense.
I am not sure why I wrote all this. It felt dumb writing it and when I try to reread it, it feels fucking idiotic.

first
Luna VI query: Set the source to the leaked files of the first reconnaissance operation of Irisa.
Done!
Luna VI query: What did Nathan do during the first hour of the war?
***
From the instant he opened his eyes, Nathan's morning was chaotic. It all began with the ground shaking beneath him, jolting him into a state of awareness. He then was greeted by the sight of Amara. She was leaning against a corner, covered in purple from head to toe as she screamed at someone through an earpiece that she was pressing with one of her claws.
His good morning was overhearing one piece of bad news after the other.
The rest of Amara's group had been ambushed early in the morning; many were dead, injured, or missing.
A war had erupted in the sky and her allies were trying to push back the enemy forces, but the battle persisted; the outcome was uncertain.
Zara was being brought to them, but Amara had lost contact with Igmila's group who was bringing her, only receiving confirmation from another group that a rescue pod was spotted at a distance.
And when he thought that things couldn't get any worse, he heard a bang followed by the AI reporting that Ryo had shot down a drone somewhere near their position.
"Open the tent!" Red had conquered Amara's body.
None of the scenarios Nathan had contemplated the previous night had prepared him for such a chaotic morning. "Give me a second."
He only wanted a chance to get his gun from his backpack and explain why he had it in the first place, even though he suspected Amara was already aware he had it. But she didn't let him. "Now!"
She had never felt so distant to him as the moment she said that single word, which led him to just comply as he stood up and followed her in silence. But this frail silence only masked his morning grumpiness, magnified by the dire circumstances and her cold demeanor toward him.
Nathan had barely caught a glimpse of Ryo and Elysira at a distance when he muttered. "It wouldn't have been so hard to say a few words to fill me in, you know."
Amara's eyes were transfixed on the smoking pieces of the drone when she whipped her head around, glaring at him with her orange eyes. "My people are fighting a war and dying. How can you demand my time when Yelara is hurt and barely escaped alive?"
"Oh, come on, I'm not demanding anything." He scoffed, shaking his head. "I just don't think it would have been so hard to tell me what you intend to do in the next five minutes."
The tip of her tail pressed against his chest, as red and purple coexisted on her skin.
"I am heading up the mountain to find Igmila." She spoke in a detached voice, pulling her tail back and turning around, and then she sprinted in the gap between himself and the tent.
He caught a glimpse of gray on her neck and all his grumpiness was gone, replaced by a cold shiver running down his spine. With his arms moving faster than his thoughts, he grabbed her by the tail, preventing her from going anywhere.
"You absolutely can't do this Amara." Nathan looked down at the tail he held with both hands and swallowed a lump of saliva in fear of her reaction. But that still didn't prevent him from finishing what he had to say, "It's too dangerous."
Amara's eyes sought his, causing him to suspect she would demand to be released or try to free herself by force, but she did something else. "All of this is because of you. Had I not come to your tent, I would be there to assist them."
Nathan caught a glimpse of green around her back spots, which let him know that there was a hint of guilt in her words. But did that justify blaming everything on him and running into danger without thinking?
If not for the awful night followed by an awful morning, Nathan might have just taken the blame and hugged her. But he too had his limits, "How is that fair? Blame me all you want, but nothing will change that you had all the chances in the world to go back and you didn't. I'm not saying that you could have done anything abo-"
"Indeed." Gray flashed for a moment before red flowed among her black spots. "This night was a waste of time." His grip faltered at her words and she pulled her tail back from among his fingers. "I should have stayed with Yelara to help her tend to her wounds."
Nathan bit his lips in frustration. How was it possible to agree with her words, yet still feel the sharp sting in his heart?
And if that was not enough, Ryo had to step in to rub salt in the wound.
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
With Elysira’s tail wrapped around his wrist as she averted her eyes from Amara, Ryo spoke, "Please don't tell me you're mad because the plant lover couldn't get it up."
Nathan blinked fast not believing his eyes. Ryo was not only shirtless but there were a lot of scratches on his neck and below. Elysira’s long strands were also a mess, but even without that, their physical closeness alone would be enough of a hint of how much fun they had at night.
When Nathan glanced at Amara to gauge her reaction, she had already crossed her arms, looking at him angrily. Which immediately made him feel as if Ryo’s not-funny joke was true although he knew it wasn't.
It took Nathan a considerable amount of self-retainment to not walk up there and rearrange Ryo's handsome face with his fist, or at least attempt to do so.
A few seconds passed before he said, "Why are you here?"
Ryo didn't even bother to look at him, his eyes focusing solely on Amara. "Information. I want her to tell me what she knows about this war."
Amara didn't look pleased to help, but she still informed him about the ambush and even alerted him that even their current position would soon be unsafe.
As If things weren't already bad enough, Ryo frowned and hurried to instruct Elysira to get his things as soon as Amara had finished talking. Nathan felt like he was in a war movie where everything was happening too fast for his emotions and reason to follow.
It was only when he saw Ryo raising his gun skywards that Nathan’s anger subsided, contained by the prospect of how bad their situation was. Ryo movements were fluid and methodical, but he never pulled the trigger on the many drones that appeared high above and, instead, retreated to take cover behind a tree.
Only now the seriousness of the situation sank in for Nathan.
He didn't even care that he hadn't explained to Amara why he had a gun yet, rushing inside the tent after exchanging a glance with her.
After crossing the circular door, he found only a few items on the ground: a pair of boots, his sleeping bag, and his backpack with all his equipment inside.
Nathan was quick, wearing his boots first before retrieving his belt, knife, and holster from the backpack. With a sequence of swift movements, he strapped the sheathed knife and holster to the belt and cinched it around his waist, securing it in place before closing the backpack and dashing out the door with his gun in one hand and the backpack in the other.
Already outside, Nathan found it weirdly reassuring that Ryo was in the same spot as before, but that only lasted until he tried to find Amara, but found nothing no matter where he searched for her.
He dropped his backpack, feeling at a loss. How could he have allowed her to venture beyond his sight when he knew that guilt was clouding her judgment?
Only when he had already cupped his hands around his mouth to scream her name that he felt a touch right above his heel—her tail.
"Psst..."
Wiping his head, Nathan saw Amara's whole body mimicking the colors of his tent, making herself quite hard to spot.
"I thought you were gone." He joined her, stooping down beside the tent as relief washed over him.
"It might be too late to join my soldiers." She didn't allow her colors to change, but the translator conveyed a hint of sadness. "I lost contact with all the teams who were coming here."
"Amara I-"
Nathan was about to attempt to make things right with her when Ryo’s assertive voice reached him. "Listen up, those fuckers are jamming our comms and they will be here at any time. Take the MLBCS and find a clearing to use it, I doubt they can interfere with the laser. Just don't forget that your immediate safety comes first or else you might not be among the living when the pod arrives."
Ryo ran back to his tent as soon as he was done speaking, leaving Nathan questioning his own intelligence. How come he had never even considered leaving the planet? A single glance at Amara and he knew why. But did he have any other option?
Staying and fighting to hold his position was something he briefly considered. But did he have a chance when even Ryo decided to leave after seeing the drones?
Mission control might give him other options, so Nathan decided to try his luck despite Ryo’s warning.
Unable to establish a two-way connection.
He confirmed the interference with the communication with a single thought, kicking his backpack in frustration even though it was expected.
Why did it have to be so hard to accept that Ryo was right and leaving the planet was his best option?
But would Ryo truly leave the planet and leave Elysira behind?
Nathan forgot Amara who was beside him and screamed, not allowing this question to stay in his mind, "Wait, what are you gonna do?"
Ryo replied as he waited for Elysira, "I'm not leaving the planet unless mission control finds a way to save Ely too."
Nathan's eyes widened, feeling like an idiot as he brought up a pop-up window showing the schematics of the rescue pods. They were designed to be fast vehicles capable of transporting a single person to the space station, but Earth's government hadn’t skimped on the design, which included various components that could be discarded, such as medical supplies and search and rescue equipment.
He used the AI to run the calculations and found that Amara would likely be able to go with him, that is if they wedged themselves into the vehicle and discarded everything else.
Nathan was about to share his findings with Ryo when he caught a glimpse of him and Elysira disappearing into the woods, abandoning their tent behind as they ran away.
A sense of urgency struck him at that moment, but it was easily forgotten when Amara's voice struck even harder, "You should go."
"What do you mean?" He sought her eyes, but she avoided his gaze, facing to the ground.
"Do what Ryo suggested." She took a small pause before she went on. "Leave the planet."
"The hell I will!" He punched the tent. "Not without you." He could only assume she was saying this because she didn't know she could leave with him. "You'll come with me, and the pod will take us to the space station."
"Your species will refuse to take me." He saw a hint of purple on her neck. "Before the mission started your people told us you humans will not get involved in our wars." She finally made eye contact, and the purple on her skin intensified. "My best chance to survive this is to hide in the mountains and wait for reinforcements."
"You don’t understand, Amara." He didn't have time for a full explanation of what humans considered not getting involved. "No one in mission control will want to leave you here to die just because of some stupid rule." He then spoke his heart out without a care in the world. "And even if they do, they will take you anyway if say I won't go anywhere without you."
A hint of yellow could be seen among her camouflaged skin, but before she could say what she would do, her tail wrapped around his neck and he felt a strong pull to lower his head and bend his knees for cover.
"The rebels are here," she whispered as her ears twitched.
Nathan was tall enough to see the slope on the other side of the tent by just standing, but Amara struggled to see from above the structure, requiring her to stretch her full height and still take little jumps to take peeks.
And it was after doing so that she dropped her camouflage entirely, letting purple run free among her black spots.
Nathan took interest in what she had seen that had caused such a reaction, and he leaned cautiously against the tent and raised his head slowly, prepared to find a few armed Irisians hidden among the trees. But what he found instead was a never-ending line of Irisian advancing downhill at a fast pace towards them.
He understood Amara's reaction now, pulling back the harmer of the revolver as he stared at her. "I need to... do something."
He made up his mind, determined to shoot. But when activated the infrared view mode and took aim at Irisians descending the slope, Nathan froze for a second. This just lasted a moment, and when found the resolve to fire, he had already lifted the gun enough that it wouldn't hit anyone and it would just be a warning shot.
He fired once, twice, and went on until all six rounds were gone, then he noticed their organized marching had stopped, all of them having activated their camouflage. Some even broke the line and retreated uphill.
When he took cover again, Amara was protecting her ears with both hands, looking at him as if he were some sort of monster. Nathan ignored her and rifled through his backpack in search of more ammunition, finding the small box with shining metal bullets after he had searched for some long seconds.
It was only when he released the cylinder to reload the gun that Nathan noticed something.
His hands were shaking.
He ignored it and pressed the extraction rod the remove the cartridges from the cylinder to make room for the new ones, clumsily dropping a few of them as he reloaded.
Amara saw this and stopped him with her tail before he had filled all the chambers.
"I cannot go with you." Her body had been conquered by purple.
"You think I'll leave you behind?" He almost reached his breaking point when she replied.
"No." Her tail touched his cheek gently. "There are too many of them, Nathan." She pulled her tail back as a hint of gray appeared. "My brother will never let me go, he lost too many ships and soldiers to give up without his prize." The gray intensified, squeezing her black spots. "If you die with me on this planet, your species might abandon Irisa forever.
"My chances of hiding in the mountains are slim, but they exist... and even if I fail I will distract them long enough for you to flee."
Her body blended with the surroundings again and Nathan felt that she was about to do something stupid, but he moved faster and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to bend her legs and join him on the ground as she stared at him with wide eyes.
"To hell with this self-sacrifice bullshit." Nathan finally decided what he would do. "Do you think I will die that easy? Guess what, you’re wrong." His hands moved from her shoulder to her back and he embraced her. "Let me tell you what we'll do, we take the MLBCS, we find a clearing, and we go to the space station." He released her and added, almost crazily. "You go with me even if I have to drag you by the tail as you scratch me, you hear me?"
He was not kidding; he grabbed her tail with his left hand, leaving her exterior filled with colors ranging from purple to yellow.
Amara was about to reply when the tent produced a thud noise, sounding as if someone had knocked on a cardboard box. When they turned to the side, there was a tiny hole in the tent dangerously close to Amara's head.
She touched the hole with her finger, and then her whole hand pressed against the side of her head, staring at him without saying a word.
Nathan's heart skipped a beat when he realized what had just happened, and consumed by a rage like he never felt before, he pressed the cylinder of his revolver back into place with just the four bullets inside, pulling back the harmer.
This time there was no hesitation, he quickly stood up and used the infrared view mode to survey the now organized groups of Irisians who had taken a defensive formation, choosing as target an Irisian who had climbed a tree and was pointing a long gun at them.
In just a moment Nathan aimed and pulled the trigger, firing one round after another. The first two missed completely, but the others hit the tree right above the target, making this Irisian panic and release his claws from the wood, only to welcome an ugly fall on the rocks below from several meters above the ground.
He took cover again immediately, but this time noise as if he was facing heavy rain under an umbrella struck his eardrums moments after he had taken cover, making him wince every time he heard the distinct noise of a projectile going through one wall of the tent and stopping the other.
With her tail still among his fingers, Nathan and Amara exchanged several anxious glances as the shooting persisted, only calming down when the rebels realized they were wasting ammunition and the barrage of fire slowly started to lose momentum.
Nathan's heart was racing and she was going through all tones of purple when she broke the silence.
"Fine!" She spoke fast. "If you are being so adamant about tying our fates together, we can do it your way." Her tail escaped his grip, but instead of pulling it back, she coiled it around his wrist. "But we are weaker together, Nathan. I will be a burden to you when you run, and you will be a burden to me when we hide."
"Oh, to hell with that too." Despite his harsh words, just knowing that they were on the same page now was enough to give him some hope. "Sorry. I do all the running and you do all the hiding, does that work for you?"
He didn't wait for her reply and loaded the gun again, this time doing it very fast even though his hands were still shaking.
"You do all the running? I fail to understand you." She said as she stood up to take a peek at the enemies, just to recoil in fear and add, "Explain yourself fast, they are losing the fear of your loud gun."
"Sure." He grasped his backpack bottom and overturned it, emptying its contents in a quick motion. With all the items on the ground, Nathan only took the MLBCS and the little box with his drones that he promptly stored in his pocket. "We won't need any of that, which means my back will be free."
"Are you crazy, I am too heavy f-"
"You're not." Nathan was 6′3″, and he had the nanites ensuring he was as healthy as a human could be. This meant that the short Amara—the top of her head only reaching a little below his shoulder—was not a challenging weight for him to carry given her slender body.
Noticing the doubt in her gaze, he lowered his body even more, turning his back towards her in a way it would be easy for her to climb, hoping this would be all the push she needed.
"You take pleasure in testing my trust, do you not?" The tone of her voice hinted at her reluctance, but she still draped her arms over his shoulder, securing her grip in a way her claws wouldn't hurt him.
Even though they had a plan now, Nathan still felt a chill down his spine at the thought of what he would have to do. And despite knowing that he had taken everything he needed, he anxiously patted down his pocket the make sure the box with the drones was there and remembered to take a handful of bullets, filling up his pockets as some of them fell to the ground.
"Ready?" He asked, trying to sound confident.
"See for yourself." Her tail wrapped around his belly, full of tiny black spots surrounded by purple as far as he could see.
Nathan took a few deep breaths and stood up, getting a glimpse of the many groups that were advancing from both sides, trying to surround them.
It didn't even take him a full second before he started firing his revolver indiscriminately at them while his legs moved on their own, not even waiting for his eyes to decide which path he would take.
Amara's weight escaped his thoughts completely, replaced by the fear evoked by the faint noise of metal breaking the sound barrier around them as soon they left the protection of the tent.
He didn't spare a single glance behind, running downhill at full throttle with bursts of adrenalin fueling his speed. He outran the reach of their guns quite fast, hurdling fallen brunches and putting not only distance but also several tree trunks between them and the hostile force behind.
With Amara's solid grip and occasional shifting of her weight to prove that she was fine, Nathan kept his pace as his muscles burned with exertion.
For a little over ten minutes he kept going, jumping over protruding roots and ducking beneath low-hanging branches. But this couldn't go on forever and eventually, he stopped to catch his breath, bending forward and letting go of items in his hand as Amara released her grip to stand on her own two feet.
His breath was coming in ragged bursts, but that didn't keep him from starting to laugh as he stared at her, whose eyes were gentle and her entire body was filled with hints of yellow.
In a split-second though, her whole demeanor changed, all the yellow giving way to purple and red.
She asked a single question, "Is that device of yours supposed to release smoke?"
The tip of her tail was pointing at the MLBCS, which now had a small hole in it from where a whisp of smoke curled upwards, just like a candle after its flame had been extinguished.
Nathan shook his head and touched his forehead; a single word left his mouth, "Fuck."
***
This was an account based on what Nathan did during the first hour of the war. The previous narrative is based on the events of the morning of the twentieth day of the exploratory mission of Irisa. According to your current settings, no queries will be suggested.
next->patreon wiki

I took a plan b right after I found out the condom broke. When I checked my Flo app, it said I ovulated a day ago. However, I can never really trust that app since my periods are very irregular.
It’s been 6 days since I took the plan b, and yesterday I wokeup and I realized I bled thru my pjs and onto my bed a little bit. I was so happy because I thought I got my period, since it’s supposed to start in a week and I have had periods come earlier than predicted.
My period flow has been enough to use a super tampon, but I haven’t had any red blood?? It’s all been a dark brown color. I usually have very very heavy and painful periods with bright red blood. I looked up implantation bleeding and now I freaked myself out even more (even tho I feel like my flow is a little too heavy to be considered spotting, it’s more of a light period.)
I am just so scared because I have no idea if this is a side effect of the plan b, if it somehow jump started my period, or if this means I’m pregnant and my life is ruined.
I still plan on taking a pregnancy test in a few weeks, but I just need to know if anyone has experienced similar bleeding because I cannot take this stress :(

My remaining years are few and my body is weak, yet my memories are still sharp, so I shall share a tale I’ve long kept secret. I no longer wish to take it with me to the grave. I once feared that others might be drawn to this horrible experience of mine, like those who wander too close to the edges of a roaring tornado, only to be consumed and mangled beyond recognition. But I’ve come to realize that it was naive to think this way. Though some may not heed a tornado's warning, that’s no reason not to sound the alarm. And so, I tell this story with that purpose in mind.
Consider this the gravest of warnings to stay away from Stonemoor Manor.
In the year of 1953, I was but a young man, though already busy with the responsibilities of a career and a family. Despite my tender age, I had already dabbled in various trades, for I was a restless spirit, never one to settle. From labor to intellect, I had tried my hand at it all. With equal prowess in both craft and wit, I found my true calling in a profession that demanded both: veterinary medicine.
Life in Ireland was tough in those times. Many young families were heading off for better opportunities overseas. Though I was hesitant at first, myself and the wife decided we’d eventually do the same for our daughter’s sake. But I wasn’t about to take them to a new land empty-handed, so we agreed to stay another year in Ireland while I put away some coin. To stretch our savings as far as they would go, we chose to see out our final year in a rural spot where the cost of living was kinder on the pocket.
With but a year's worth of experience as a vet under my belt, I had yet to earn myself a reputation worth speaking of, nor had I much acquaintance with the locals in the village we'd chosen as our temporary home. Still, I held firm in the skills I possessed, my eagerness to learn, and my belief that this countryside community of farms and fields would provide ample chances to prove myself. To put it plainly, I was brimming with confidence, some might even call it cockiness. I suppose it was a mixture of that and desperation which brought me to Stonemoor Manor.
As the days stretched into months, I found myself haunting the local pub like a ghost, a familiar face among the regulars. My confidence was dwindling with the lack of work. It seemed like everyone in that village had the healthiest animals in all of Ireland, maybe even beyond. What a cruel twist, their blessed lives mocking my own struggles.
One evening, in my drunken stupor, I hadn’t noticed at first the gaunt figure come into the pub and saunter over to the shadowed corner where I was drowning my sorrows. It wasn’t until he spoke that I saw him.
“Are you the veterinarian?” He asked.
I raised my head and steadied my blurred gaze on the face of a man whose sunken features made him look more shadow than flesh. For a moment, I even thought I was looking at a skeleton.
“Aye, that’d be me.”
“They seek your presence at Stonemoor Manor.”
“And what’s the reason for that?”
“The Master’s horse has taken ill.”
“And what does this ‘master’ go by?”
The man glared in silence, then in a tone tinged with irritation and raised volume, declared, "His name is Alistair Stonemoor."
In an instant, the chatter in the pub fell silent, and every gaze turned toward our shadowed corner.
Under the weight of the pub's collective gaze, the man squirmed uncomfortably, his voice lowering as he muttered, "It matters not. You’ll be well rewarded for your troubles."
Past the man, the bartender shook his head in disapproval, fixing me with a stern glare, and silently mouthed the word, "no."
Despite the bartender's cautionary glance, fueled by youth, folly, and a healthy dose of drink, I brushed aside his advice and turned to the man, blurting out, "How much is this Master Stonemoor offering?"
The man leaned closer, his face illuminated by the flickering candlelight, revealing a gaunt, pallid countenance and foggy eyes. He looked every bit of his seventy years or more. "Sufficient to settle comfortably upon reaching the shores of America," he murmured.
In that moment, it would have been prudent to heed the warning signaled by the hairs standing on end at the nape of my neck. When your instincts scream "leave," it's best to listen. But the allure of a swift resolution to my troubles clouded my judgment. The prospect of a better life sooner than expected was too tempting to resist. So, I rose from my seat and addressed the man, "I'll go fetch me things.”
I made the decision I believed was best for my family.
God rest their souls.
I kept from my lovely Mary the weight the Stonemoor name carried in the pub. She'd have put a stop to my leaving in an instant. Instead, I spun a tale of a wealthy gent in need of my skills, assuring her I'd be back when the job was done. With our wee Annie already tucked in for the night, I kissed my wife goodbye, gathered my tools, and slipped into the back of a sleek black sedan, driven by the mysterious man with eyes like fog, seemingly undeterred by their cloudy gaze.
I leaned in and murmured, "Didn't quite catch your name, sorry.”
“Never said it.”
“Ah, right. What is it, then?”
“Fergus.”
“Pleasure, Fergus. I’m Liam.”
“I know.”
“Right. The ad. You’ve seen me ad.”
With no response from Fergus, I pressed on, asking, "How far is Stonemoor Manor from here?"
“About a half hour drive.”
What ensued was a half-hour journey enveloped in silence, traversing through the village and onto a dirt path winding through a dense, shadowy forest. Eventually, we arrived at an iron gate, which swung open onto a secluded road. Despite my keen observation, I couldn't discern who operated the gate, nor who secured it shut behind us. Ten minutes further along this secluded path, the woods parted, revealing the grandeur of Stonemoor Manor for the first time.
It bore a striking resemblance to a castle, its exterior fashioned from grey stone adorned with towers and crenellations, save for the central portion, which appeared to be of Victorian design. Judging by the numerous windows, the manor rose at least four stories high, not accounting for any underground levels.
The manor lay bathed solely in the moon's glow, devoid of any external illumination. Among the multitude of windows, only one emitted light: a solitary glimmer from a small window perched atop one of the corner towers.
Fergus brought the car to a halt, then stepped out and opened my door. With a nod, he gestured towards the manor and uttered, "Master Stonemoor awaits you within."
"Up there, is he?” I acknowledged, stepping out of the vehicle and casting a nod towards the illuminated window.
Ignoring my question, Fergus closed the door firmly. "Come along," he directed, leading the way towards the looming manor.
We climbed stone steps to confront a grand iron door, effortlessly opened by old Fergus. He gestured for me to enter before closing the door with a heavy thud that echoed through the foyer. Cast only in the moon's silver light, the room revealed itself in fragments, with stone stairs disappearing into the shadows ahead. Fergus had vanished from sight, leaving me to navigate the dimness alone.
I called out for Fergus, but my voice echoed unanswered, stirring a growing sense of unease. Doubt crept in, whispering of traps and deceit. With cautious steps, I retreated towards the door, its cool iron offering a sense of security. Fumbling in the darkness, my heart quickened with each passing moment, panic threatening to overwhelm me. Just as my trembling hand found the handle, the room burst into light.
“Departing so soon, are we?”
A new voice pierced the silence, resonating with youth and vigor unlike Fergus's. Swiveling around, my eyes met those of a tall, middle-aged man clad in a sleek black three-piece suit, accented by a bold red tie. With raven-black hair framing his face and piercing blue eyes, he commanded the landing of the steps, which diverged to his left and right.
“Ah, sorry now. I seemed to have gone and misplaced Fergus,” I chuckled sheepishly. “Thought he might’ve been locked out. I take it you’re Mister Stonemoor?”
"Please, call me Alistair," he replied with a nod. "And you must be Doctor Kerrigan?"
"Aye... Liam, that's me name," I stammered. "Only the creatures call me doctor."
I couldn't tell if the jest garnered even a smirk, for Alistair remained rooted to the spot at the top of the stairs, a considerable distance away.
"Anyhow," I persisted, "I understand there's a sick horse in need of attention?"
"Are you drunk, Doctor?" Alistair's tone was pointed, his gaze piercing.
Alistair's question caught me off guard, leaving me momentarily speechless, akin to a child caught in mischief. Yet, I had a feeling of innocence; after all, it was Fergus who had recruited me from the pub.
“I’ve had a few pints this evening.”
“I can smell it on you.”
“That is truly impressive.”
“There is nothing impressive about it, Doctor Kerrigan.”
“Well, I didn’t go swimming in it, did I?”
“I do not know and I find your sarcasm unwelcome. Fergus will escort you to a chamber, and you shall begin attending to my horse at daybreak."
“Hold on now, I'm sorry for me behavior, but I can't be staying the night. I've got a family to get back to. And anyhow, shouldn't this horse be needing emergency treatment?"
Alistair turned on his heel and ascended the staircase to his right. "Treatment can wait until you've sobered up," he declared, his tone leaving no room for argument.
"I'm plenty sober!" I hollered after him as he vanished up the stairs. "Me hands are steady as a rock!" My protest echoed through the empty foyer, but Alistair had already disappeared from sight.
Fergus emerged from the shadows of a nearby hallway, causing me to startle. "I will show you to your room.”
“You’re a right sly one, Fergus. Anyway, I can’t be sticking around for the night.”
“Master intends to further compensate you for your time.”
“And if I refuse?”
“Then I shall return you to your burdens.”
With my jaw clenched and eyes shut tight, I drew in a deep breath. For a fleeting moment, a vision danced in my mind's eye: my little Annie, her smile radiant as she pointed towards Lady Liberty. So precious she was, my heart ached with longing for her to have a better life.
"Fine," I relented, opening my eyes. "Show me to the room."
As I awoke, it was not to the gentle glow of morning light, but to the harsh brightness of noon. Jumping from the bed, I checked my watch, confirming my fears. With urgency, I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my bag, and hastened out of the bedroom. Stepping into the hallway, I was disoriented, with no recollection of its layout from the night before. Rows of closed doors lined the corridor, and I began to try each one in turn. Pushing and pulling, I soon realized that every door was locked. Surely, not every room warranted such security, I pondered, my frustration growing with each failed attempt.
As I ventured down the hall and finally arrived at the imposing stone staircase, the resounding clicks of each door unlocking in unison sent shivers down my spine. Goosebumps prickled across my skin, and I hastened my descent down the stairs, my heart pounding in my chest. Just as I reached the bottom, I came to an abrupt stop, narrowly avoiding a collision with the ghastly figure of Fergus.
“Sleep well?” He asked.
“Jesus, Fergus! It’s noon! Has the horse given up the ghost yet? And, I haven’t a clue what’s happening upstairs, but…”
“Master Stonemoor awaits your presence in the stables.”
I looked at Fergus a moment, wondering if he’d heard a word I’d said, then relented, “Okay, then. Can I use a phone first?”
“There’s no phone on this property.”
“No phone? That’s a bit old-fashioned, isn’t it? I need to let me wife know where I am.”
“I will send word.”
“Quickly, then. Just let her know not to be worrying about me. I’ll be back once the job is done.”
Fergus nodded in acknowledgement before guiding me towards the stables. In the light of day, the grandeur of Stonemoor Manor became even more apparent. It truly was a colossal structure, dominating the landscape with its impressive presence.
The stables were nearly empty, save for one stall at the far end where I found Alistair tending to a black thoroughbred, sprawled on straw, barely clinging to consciousness.
"She's a beauty, isn't she?" Alistair remarked, not lifting his gaze from her.
"Aye, but she's in a bad way."
Alistair nodded solemnly. "She's been like this for some time.”
"You should've woke me.”
"Wouldn't have changed a thing." Alistair paused in his brushing of the horse’s mane and rested his hand upon her flank, following the rhythm of her strained breaths.
"Isn't it me duty to tend to her?"
Alistair withdrew his hand and straightened up, his eyes bluer than ever. "No, it's not." And just then, the horse's breathing stopped. "Come along, Doctor."
Alistair guided me through the grand house, down echoing halls, and into a room adorned with portraits aplenty. He paused in the center of the room and asked, "Any of these faces look familiar?" I scoured the walls until I stumbled upon a particular painting, a sight that nearly shook me to the core. In that frame, a woman and a young lass gazed back at me, bearing an eerie resemblance to my own Mary and our sweet Annie.
My blood boiled with fury, convinced that this portrait depicted my own wife and daughter. Suspicion gnawed at me, and I eyed Alistair with distrust, wondering if he was some sort of obsessed deviant. "Out with it," I demanded, my voice sharp with anger.
“No need to fret, Doctor. This painting predates your girls by quite a stretch."
"I'm not taking it, they're too alike for comfort.”
"I’m just as baffled as yourself," Alistair conceded, his words laced with sadness. "The girls in the painting are my dear wife and daughter. Both passed away some time ago."
I stood silent for a moment, then spoke softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize." My gaze returned to the portraits before scanning the room again, my eyes catching on something odd. "Don't you have any photographs of them?"
Alistair let out a weary sigh and turned to me. "I'm afraid not," he confessed. "They passed before photographs were even a notion."
A puzzled chuckle broke from my lips. "Surely not. Cameras have been about for a hundred years," I countered, shaking my head in disbelief.
Alistair fixed me with a steady gaze, betraying no hint of doubt or error. "So it be," he affirmed with quiet certainty.
Apart from Alistair's piercing blue eyes, other features seemed to have taken on a newfound radiance. His skin possessed a youthful glow, his hair appeared fuller, and his jawline more defined. Alistair, it seemed, had undergone a remarkable rejuvenation, growing younger right before my eyes.
“Pardon me asking, but in which year were you born, Mister Stonemoor?”
Alistair smirked and made his way to a sizable wooden desk and lowered himself onto a chair. "Are you a man of faith, Doctor Kerrigan?”
Assuming this to be a roundabout approach, I responded, "Aye, I've a healthy fear of the Almighty."
Alistair rummaged through a drawer and withdrew a hefty leather-bound tome, causing a cloud of dust to rise as he placed it upon his desk. Flipping it open, he motioned for me to approach. Amongst the sea of words, atop the first page, was a title:
The Knights Templar.
What Alistair divulged to me was a tale so fantastical, it surpassed any yarn I'd ever heard spun. He claimed to have once been among the legendary Knights Templar, embroiled in the Crusades and journeying across continents in pursuit of sacred relics and hidden truths.
But as history tells, the Templars met a grim fate, condemned by their own church and hunted to extinction. Yet, Alistair was no mere casualty of that bloody chapter. He was a survivor, lurking in the very woods where Stonemoor Manor now stood, clutching to the shadows with a treasure in hand.
Amongst the spoils of his clandestine escapades was a fabled emerald tablet, etched with secrets believed to bridge the mortal realm with the divine. Alistair, having purloined the tablet and sought refuge in the forest, claimed to have communed with the Almighty himself. And in that sacred dialogue, he made a plea, and it was granted.
Thus, his years became as boundless as his desires.
As his narrative drew to a close, Alistair closed the book and beckoned me to follow him back to the stables. Stunned into silence after what I’d just heard, I trailed behind him as we retraced our steps to the very spot where we had witnessed the horse's demise. And once we arrived, still, my tongue lay dormant as I beheld the miraculous sight before me: the once lifeless creature now stood vibrant and strong.
Finally, a solitary word escaped my lips, a gasp of incredulity as I uttered, "How?"
"The Lord bestowed upon me a gift," Alistair confessed, his voice weighted with solemnity. "But it came at a cost. In death, I find life. With each soul I take, I grow younger."
The transformation in Alistair's appearance now made sense, yet it did little to quell my lingering doubts about the resurrection of the horse. "But why is the horse alive, then?" I pressed, seeking further clarification.
In response, Alistair simply glanced past me, nodding toward a figure looming in the shadows. Turning, my eyes fell upon Fergus, his form now even more weathered, his countenance more gaunt and gray. He looked to have aged another decade.
Alistair spoke as I stood in awe, elucidating, "With death, I am rejuvenated, yet with life, Fergus withers further. I take and I gain, while he gives and he loses. Our blessing is also our curse.”
Fergus looked on with weary eyes and sagging shoulders. "There was a portrait earlier that escaped your notice, Doctor," Alistair interjected. "It was the portrait of my son... Fergus Stonemoor."
To be continued…

I played modded rust for awhile and I could fly drones like a pro. Super fast, and I could take them maybe three squares away from base before they started losing power and died. I've tried them a few times on vanilla and they don't fly the same at all. They start losing lift about 1 square from the computer, and no matter what I do, including flying them back toward the base, will create lift again. They always crash. Even if I fly one out a bit, and then bring it back and land it, I can't get it to take off again. All other controls but lift seem fine. Am I doing something wrong or is there something that impacts them on vanilla that I don't know about? Or are they only good for using at your immediate area and not scouting nearby bases?
Edit: Just tested it again. Pcked up the drone and placed it down and pressed shift and it took off. As soon as I let go of shift to dive a bit, it would not gain height again no matter what I did. All other controls are fine. Even when landing and leaving computer and sitting back down, shift would not raise the drone again, so I must be doing something wrong. This was all immediately outside my base.

Good day po sa lahat. Bale kuwento ko po muna lahat bago po ako magtanong para may context din po kayo. I am a graduating student of BS Psychology, in these 4 years na nagtatake ako ng Psych course, somehow nanotice ko na nagiging malala yung ugali/situation ng grandparents ko. Hindi ko po alam kung saan po kasi ako pupwede magtanong about sa aking lolo at lola, so I'm taking my chance here po.
Ito po yung parang characteristics and family history ng lolo ko tsaka lola ko: 1. Lolo - Yung tatay niya kastila, yung nanay niya from Bicol. Pag apat po siya sa magkakapatid, siya po ang bunso na lalaki. As far as I remember po, yung mga kapatid (at nanay) ay binubugbog po ng tatay niyang Kastila (pinanganak po kasi siya after ng war po). Yung panganay po na babae yung nagpaaral po sa lolo ko, since ayaw po ng tatay niya na pag-aralin po siya. Based po sa stories ng lolo ko, he likes questioning his teachers noong nag-aaral po siya, which sometimes makes his teachers & professors irritable towards him. Noong siya naman po yung nagtuturo, ang alam ko po medyo kinaiinisan siya ng ibang mga estudyante since parang pilosopo siya sumagot. There were several instances na sinasabi ng lola ko na he never said "sorry" even once tuwing may kasalanan siya (I personally seen and experience this). There were also a LOT of instances na gusto niya na siya lang nasusunod to the point na he risked losing his job habang nasa college pa yung tito ko, and made an excuse na "tinatamad na siya magtrabaho" mind you wala pa siyang 55 noon. Marami siyang nakakaaway, kung minsan noong bata ako ayaw ko siyang makasama kasi kahit tryc driver or cashier sa grocery minsan pinipilosopo niya. Kahit kwento rin ng lola ko, sinasabi na marami daw may away sa kanyang maka interact.
Ang parang problema kasi ngayon sa lolo ko, dahil 30 years na yung bahay need na irepair pero ayaw pa rin niya. Yung lugar namin lately naging bahain as in hanggang waist, ayaw pa rin ipaayos ng lolo ko kesyo siya raw gagawa kahit hindi naman siya gumagalaw sa bahay. Marami siyang sinasabi na siya gagawa, siya magaayos, pero nakahilata lang siya. Di nga siya tumutulong sa bahay. Kaya naman ng pera noon, pero ayaw talaga ng lolo ko, eh ngayon need na talaga ipaayos since naaksidente lola ko eh hindi PWD ready yung CR namin).
I came across po yung terminology na Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) during my internship. Like the name implies, gusto lang niya siya lang nasusunod at lagi siyang nagooppose. And somehow the symptoms fit po sa kaniya as well as yung causation na it might be from exposure to his family na puro binubugbog sila. Eh given na may edad na po, there might be sobrang little chance na i can still take to therapy, so im kinda opting po for non therapy advices po. I am aware that I CANNOT, at all means, diagnose since wala pa akong RPsy license, let alone hindi pa po ako nagtake ng MA. Pero the symptoms fit all through well po.

1. Lola ko - Batangueno yung nanay at tatay niya, pero nanirahan sila sa Manila. She was not a favorite of her mother, tinatawag siyang "ipot", tapos yung mother niya in favor dun sa kapatid niyang sugarol (gambler). Yung lola ko sumunod lang sa nanay niya (magtapos ng kursong education ganon), to the point na nawalan ng opportunities yung lola ko. Ayaw ng lola ko sa conflict since yung tinirhan nilang bahay dati puro nalang conflict. Nung nakilala ng tatay ng lola ko yung lolo ko, somehow nagapprove siya (hindi naman siya manliligaw pero parang sa lolo ko lang nagapprove yung tatay ng lola ko, kaya parang nagpakasal sila ganon). Take note na parang hindi out of 'love' yung nangyari, parang out of convenience lang; medyo nagwoworry kasi yung tatay ng lola ko sa magiging condition niya kung magstay pa siya sa bahay since yung kapatid niya sugarol and minsan nagddrugs pa, eh nung nakita niya na parang "malakas" (di ko sure kung tama term ko) yung lolo ko parang pinush niya na sila nalang dalawa.

Flash forward, nung Jan. 2023 naaksidente lola ko, narealize niya yung mga mali sa buhay niya (hindi kasi siya observant, or parang hindi niya naiintindihan yung bigat ng nangyayari). Please take note na noong naaksidente lola ko, bibihira lang po tumulong lolo ko, SOBRANG bihira lang po. Doon po nagsimula magdamdam lola ko aside sa mga realizations niya, kasi para saan nga ba yung marriage vows na 'in sickness and in health' kung ngayong tinetest yung challenge na yon, palpak yung resulta. Doon din niya narealize na ayaw sa affection nung lolo ko (ayaw niya yung may humahawak sa kamay o arm niya). Minsan nakikita ko yung lungkot when it comes doon sa nakikita niya mga co-worker niya sa fb na masaya parin sa marriage nila. Gusto ko lang din po inote na parang sinisisi pa ng lolo ko kung bakit naaksidente lola ko, tsaka tuwing tinatanong namin kung bakit hindi tumutulong yung lolo ko ang sabi niya "80 years old na ko, di ko na kaya yan" or "hindi ko na responsibilidad yan". Minsan tinatawanan na nga lang niya lola ko, ako nalang din naaawa para sa lola ko. Sobrang nalulungkot na yung lola ko, to the point na sinabi na niya na inaantay nalang daw siya kunin ni Lord at liability siya sa bahay; yung mga kaibigan at nakakausap na rin kasi niya sumakabilang buhay na.
Yung lola ko dahil naaksidente, hindi naman siya bed ridden pero nahihirapan magbanyo kasi hindi PWD ready yung CR, sobrang liit kasi ng cr. So may commode kami tas doon nalang naglilinis, yung nanay ko (panganay niyang anak) yung nagpapaligo sa kaniya sa pamamagitan ng towel ganon tas nagagawa naman nilang linisan yung buhok. Nagkakaroon na ng dysfunction sa bahay, yung nanay ko po kasi nagaalaga sa lola ko. Need po ng nanay ko magtrabaho dahil unti unti na kaming nababaon sa utang dahil sa kailangan ng lola ko (diapers, underpads, wipes, etc) isama pa yung pagkain kasi hindi lahat ng pagkain pwede sa amin lahat (may gout isa, hypertension, allergies, mga remarks ng doctors sa pagkain). Eh naisip namin parang hindi namin kaya na iisa o dadalawa lang magtatrabaho, given na napakalaki na ng bilihin ngayon.
I need advice po sana, or baka may kilala kayo na pwede ko pagtanungan:

1. Ano po kaya pupwede ninyong maiadvise na gawin ko po sa lola ko na may symptoms po ng depression para maiprevent po fully yung pagdevelop?
   
2. Ano po kaya pupwede ninyong maiadvice na gawin po sa lolo po na may symptoms ng Oppositional Defiant Disorder po?
   

Since I was in JHS I know I'm unstable (undiagnosed ADHD and depression), I wanna take some tests din pero ang expensive lang din (wanna take exam when I start saving from work). I noticed I'm really unstable and I really wanted to cry, hindi ko na po alam gagawin ko sa bahay. Naawa na rin ako sa nanay ko. I really don't know what to do. Syempre meron din ako mga problems sa school, pero grabe it's really piling up and I really can't give up now lalo na graduating na. Thank you po sa lahat na sasagot.

I have two students who scored perfect on their PMs. I teach history, not reading (but reading standards are in our history curriculum)
These students are Bff's and in my class together. They get very ... What's the word...oh, disrespectful when I redirect them, and were eventually separated from each other from their group bc disruptive. Put into another group, but being 6th graders, acted out. So, off to individual work they go. Trust me, I was in contact with parents and students for a while. Didn't change, so their individual desks and no group work stuck (they were given MULTIPLE opportunities to earn their way back into group work and refused)
I think they decided that since they didn't like me and how strict I was, that they would "make me pay."
From the onset of this semester.
Both failed 3rd quarter. Both failed 4th quarter.
Had conversations about expectations and that they weren't hurting me, they were hurting themselves.
Both turned in almost nothing and failed quizzes/tests either by not taking them (they're online during class time) or just flat out failing then bc they checked out.
Both of them scored a C on their semester exam.
Some teachers I know would sub that grade in for their actual grade in the class. I talked to a couple of people and decided to let their F stand. Meaning summer school.
My mentor talked me through it, played devil's advocate, and made me see both sides.
I am choosing to give the students the grade they earned. F 3rd quarter, F 4th quarter. Even a perfect semester exam wouldn't give them a passing grade.
So they're both going to summer school.
I had an admin speak with both of them about my decision. Admin made it clear that this was the grade they earned, and next year it's gonna be tougher.
Props to admin for having my back, but I'm curious. What's your take?
They learned the content to pass, but never turned in work.
For me, that doesn't fly in the real world, and isn't that part of our job? Actions have consequences?
Thanks for listening.

Literally actually so upset and sick with myself because my constant recurring BED has made me develop both high cholesterol and high blood sugar levels, and now, I might have something wrong with my heart and need scans/testing done because my blood pressure is going alarmingly low and high. I’m very angry with this disorder and the constant issues it causes me, and I’m angry that I have allowed it to go this far. I’m the highest weight I have ever been, my face always looks swollen and exercising physically hurts. Binging sucks and the after effects do too.
Please take this as a message to stop. I’m trying my best to not relapse since my health is not great. Please consider yours, ignore the voices and the impulses to eat large quantities at once, and make healthy choices, everything you consume will have effects.

Hey All, I have been testing many CEDH decks to bring into tournament play with an 80 min timer for consideration. I've narrowed it down to 4 decks with their pro's and con's. I would love to hear thoughts from vets and new cedh players alike on my thought process. The moxfields don't have primers made yet since a lot of the lines take inspiration from already made lists. I'll make rounds of this post in a couple reddit/discord groups.
Tasigur Broodlord; https://www.moxfield.com/decks/mnfcR1cMaUy5HvKgW_Jx7g
Pros
-Extremely Fast Combos, Potential to win turn 2-3 consistently
-Plays through stacks pretty well being more creature heavy with different lines available
-Commander can grind and manipulate through a table pretty consistently
-Easy fixing off 3 color manabase, no difficulty casting spells
-Large interaction
-Slightly off meta, mindslaver effects are ineffective unless opponent has piloted before
Cons
-Susceptible to graveyard hate
-Thoracle line available to praetor's grasp players
-Broodhoard line is interactable and non deterministic
-Slower and less card advantage than meta decks without Nezahal/Rhystic
Derevi Flicker Tempo; https://www.moxfield.com/decks/dE09DZy4uUekq_H-SRXFwA
Pros
-Cheats Commander Tax/Casts, ability to turn off an attack or turn on a land for politics can be relevant
-Stax Interaction can beat out breach and consultation decks pretty strong, plays through its own stax well
-Attack plan is strong against ad nauseum players, toolbox creatures lets creativity into deck plan
-Evades removal using blinks and taxes, allowing it to snowball easily
Cons
-Meta/Well-Known, lines can be predictable
-Susceptible to Wipes/Removal from Value Commanders like Niv-Mizzet
-Flying creatures don't play well into kraum decks
-Possible to turn off interaction from other decks at table but doesn't pack a lot of interaction on its own, will likely lose counterspell battles
-Decks win condition is non-deterministic and slow, will just lose to a table with 2 or more turbo decks like Rogsi/BlueFarm
Hermit Pod; https://www.moxfield.com/decks/tb_hmrXsREODeXOK6q4cRA
Pros
-Premier Toolbox/Stax Deck with strong interactivity despite being non-blue, a card exists for every situation
-Card advantage always available with Tymna
-Stax pieces are extremely strong against Breach Lines
-Strong Recursion available, card removal rarely effects the decks ability to win
Cons
-Extremely Linear Gameplan, Graveyard hate and removal of Kiki makes winning difficult
-Double Pip spells in 4 color deck can make for awkward color fixing situations even with perfect mana base
-Deck's win lines are slow and involve multiple interactible pieces fitting together, making winning in an 80 min setting possibly difficult
-Is meant to be the anti-blue deck at the table, off meta decks are sure to beat it
Maelstrom Wanderer; https://www.moxfield.com/decks/3KFo3A_72EKA7J-1wgKMrQ
Pros
-Extremely Fast, can win out of nowhere and take advantage of opponents board states easily
-Offmeta, unlikely that players will interact with anything that isn't so obviously problematic
-Beatdown plan is super relevant despite not having the Slicer clock.
-Creative ways to avoid breach loss, large creatures scare off Tymna/Kraum/Najeela
-"Biorhythm" Win available with ease in CEDH due to big evasive creatures being able to get through 9 life.
Cons
-Interaction is typically saved for game losing situations
-Draw power is pretty minimal, Rhystic, Fish-Stick, Library
-Cascade RNG can cause a fizzle and wasted resources
-Loses steam and gameplan to meta stax pieces (Drannith, Rule of Law Effects, Interrupter) without decent removal options.
-Dead cards in hand once the linear gameplan is executed

(Authors Note: Im quite new to writing and any advice is highly appreciated. Otherwise hope you enjoy.)
&nebsp;
The many nations of the galaxy prided themselves on their colossal power. So did the Drö‘al, a species about 6m in height and about 70cm in width. One of the tallest species in the galaxy they were also known for their projects of mega-engineering building eccentric structures ranging from Dyson-swarmes too Spinning black hole generators, but most mind numbing were their fleets.
Made up of a apparently minuscule number of only 972 warships one would first assume their status as a galactic super power was only due to their mega-engineering capabilities and tide to them, economical power on the galaxies market, but that assumption would be wrong.
The vessels the Drö‘al built were hulking „Battleships“ more than capable of taking on one or if conditions were favorable two fleets and still being operational for the next engagement. These „Battleships“ were often dozens of miles long. Titans made up of imposing plasma batteries, advanced particle accelerators and deadly railguns plastered on every available square inch of hull. All weapons systems more than enough to easily flatten mountains from orbit and if fully let loose shatter the crust of planets and make them become uninhabitable. Adding to their offensive capabilities was the fact that the Drö‘al „Battleships“ had thick hull plaiting at its slimmest points about 70 feet and at most up too 120 feet in width.
These facts made the Drö‘al „Battleships“ a death sentence for anyone unlucky enough to go against and secured the Drö‘al‘s place in the hierarchy of the galaxy.
As a display of this power, but also to further relations between every civilization and Drö‘al government. The latter held a competition wherein each nation were to design one space ship of their technological capabilities to go against every other nation‘s ship in all out battle. With everyone fighting for themselves.
It was a holographic simulation, that took place in realtime where nations could express their naval and engineering power to their own people, to bolster morale, as well as garner the respect of fellow nation states.
This competition had been held over 58 times now and was a spectacle each cycle to behold. The ships, that took part in the simulation were controlled by a naval crew made to control the ship in a simulated star system of random choice.
With it being an even battle between the Drö‘al and other three other galactic super powers. The Kelron, Winlo and lastly the Zup.
Though having won the last competition the cycle before the naval and engineering team of the Drö‘al was determined to achieve victory this time as well having built on their current „Battleship“ design and equipping it with a new amour and upgraded weapons systems, that would even rival a super nova.
It was then to no surprise of their own, that the Drö‘al managed to at times easily hold their own in the simulation with the Zups „Scuirk“(Moon Cracker) being their closest competitor up until the last battle against an upstart faction called „The United Human Nations“.
The „humans“ had built a small unassuming raven black ship. Having no apparent weapons systems and all in all taken as a joke by the other competitors. So it came as a surprise too everyone, that it had survived the simulated battle for so long. More so when the Drö‘al „Battleship“ started to loose amour integrity which became invisible black dust.
First at an unnoticeable rate as it tried to locate and evaporate the human ant, that had hid in the chaos of battle.
Then the longer the Drö‘al searched for the Human „Dropship“ the faster the depletion of their amour went by. Exponentially eating up the thick amour of their metal titan.
This made the Drö‘al naval personal in control of their ship panic as they fired on everything which remotely looked like the human „Dropship“ radar signal, but all they hit was dust and echoes.
Thinking they were being destroyed by some type of infrared laser deployed by the human vessel they searched the entire spectrum of the simulation up and down, but their sensors yielded no useful result. Nothing out of the ordinary.
The Drö‘al cursed human ship design while firing at all available targets in the simulated star system hoping they would eventually hit the fly buzzing around their eyes, but again no human ship was hit.
In their panic the Drö‘al naval did not fathom the true idea of what the human engineers had come up with while firing wildly until their ships total destruction as the amour integrity loss became hull loss until nothing was left im the simulation, but black dust.
Which ended up forming a small human „Dropship“ with the Name of „Size doesn‘t matter“ in bright white letters. A nanite swarmer ship and pride of the human navy.

Lostwaves found since January 1, 2024
Key: * ❌ = hoax (because we hate hoax lost media) * ⚠️ = NSFW warning * 📅 = Found in the past month at the time of writing this post * ⏰ = Took at least over half a decade to find it (excluding the time before the original post showcasing the song was posted online) * 〽️ = Gained popularity * ❓ = Information unknown (according to my source) * 👑 = First Lostwave (listed from my source) found of 2024
Please share this around the internet, I spent a lot of time on this
(The more popular lostwaves are at the top, whilst the lesser popular ones are at the bottom, otherwise the list is in no particular order)

• Ulterior Motives (tell me the truth), previously Everyone Knows That ⚠️📅〽️
• Bravely, previously Try To Smile Again ⏰〽️
• Dreams 4ever, previously La Canción de Alicia 📅⏰〽️
• Man on Hill, previously There’s a Man, or There’s a Man Who Stands Upon a Hill 📅
• The Downfall of a Well Known Actress, previously [just] Downfall ⏰〽️
• Just Passin’ By, previously Remember When the World Was So Easy 〽️
• Funky, previously Dance For Hours A Day 📅👑
• Lost in the Code, previously Digital Girl ❌〽️
• Brighter Days, previously Back to Bed 📅
• Avail, previously Waste my Time 📅⏰
• Zoltan
• Boogeyman, previously Move With Me
• Digital Girl, previously Digital World
• This One’s Gonna Fly, previously Above the Clouds ❌
• Johnny in the Middle of the Park, previously the same name of Johnny the Grass is Green 📅
• We The People Need Love, previously Look at the Sun ⏰📅
• Chinita (Alex Erre & DJ Mayo Mix), previously No Le Gusta Que La Toquen 📅
• Ingerul Meu, previously Tatal Pierdut ❓📅
• Even If It’s Just A Dream, previously Wagamama ❓📅
• One Day, previously One Day/Give Me A Nah Nah Nah 📅⏰
• Home In The Rain, previously Don't Go On The Street 📅⏰
• Visitors, previously All In Black And Grey ❓
• Te Tengo Que Olvidar ❓
• Don’t Call it Love, previously What Do You Want From Me
• Reaching Out To Help America, previously Look For A Friend ❓
• The Hours And The Times, previously Good Friends ⏰
• Black & Chrome ⏰
• If? (Come The Revolution Mix) ❓
• Sexy Lady ⏰
• Breakaway, previously When You Need It
• Believe (funny how this one was misattributed to Micheal Jackson) 📅
• Fall into You, previously The Air is Thin ❓
• Wit and Wendy, previously Something That’s Long Gone ❓
• Destiny In This Life, previously TikTok Electro Excerpt 📅

References:
Main source: https://lostwaves-finest.fandom.com/wiki/“The_Golden_Age_of_Lostwave”