Numbness in neck and shoulder

Hi everyone. I have a suspected hypertrophy of the scalene as a secondary response to a contralateral levator scapula injury 8 months ago. I now have arterial tos (and cerebral hypertension) so I am under the gun to fix it. I have dizzy scary episodes if I fall asleep and my chin compresses my neck and a weird tinnitus always like a machine sound that my neuro suspects is from the extra pressure in my head.
I was a guitar player for 30 years so my shoulders are a mess as well.
My question is did anyone else do this conservative therapy and how long did it take for your scalene to chill out and go back to its normal size?
I am seeing the vascular dr this week so hopefully we can get imaging and confirm but I’ve already started my own pt at home.
Thanks for any answers. This forum has been helpful to me.

first
Luna VI query: Set the source to the leaked files of the first reconnaissance operation of Irisa.
Done!
Luna VI query: What did Nathan do during the first hour of the war?
***
From the instant he opened his eyes, Nathan's morning was chaotic. It all began with the ground shaking beneath him, jolting him into a state of awareness. He then was greeted by the sight of Amara. She was leaning against a corner, covered in purple from head to toe as she screamed at someone through an earpiece that she was pressing with one of her claws.
His good morning was overhearing one piece of bad news after the other.
The rest of Amara's group had been ambushed early in the morning; many were dead, injured, or missing.
A war had erupted in the sky and her allies were trying to push back the enemy forces, but the battle persisted; the outcome was uncertain.
Zara was being brought to them, but Amara had lost contact with Igmila's group who was bringing her, only receiving confirmation from another group that a rescue pod was spotted at a distance.
And when he thought that things couldn't get any worse, he heard a bang followed by the AI reporting that Ryo had shot down a drone somewhere near their position.
"Open the tent!" Red had conquered Amara's body.
None of the scenarios Nathan had contemplated the previous night had prepared him for such a chaotic morning. "Give me a second."
He only wanted a chance to get his gun from his backpack and explain why he had it in the first place, even though he suspected Amara was already aware he had it. But she didn't let him. "Now!"
She had never felt so distant to him as the moment she said that single word, which led him to just comply as he stood up and followed her in silence. But this frail silence only masked his morning grumpiness, magnified by the dire circumstances and her cold demeanor toward him.
Nathan had barely caught a glimpse of Ryo and Elysira at a distance when he muttered. "It wouldn't have been so hard to say a few words to fill me in, you know."
Amara's eyes were transfixed on the smoking pieces of the drone when she whipped her head around, glaring at him with her orange eyes. "My people are fighting a war and dying. How can you demand my time when Yelara is hurt and barely escaped alive?"
"Oh, come on, I'm not demanding anything." He scoffed, shaking his head. "I just don't think it would have been so hard to tell me what you intend to do in the next five minutes."
The tip of her tail pressed against his chest, as red and purple coexisted on her skin.
"I am heading up the mountain to find Igmila." She spoke in a detached voice, pulling her tail back and turning around, and then she sprinted in the gap between himself and the tent.
He caught a glimpse of gray on her neck and all his grumpiness was gone, replaced by a cold shiver running down his spine. With his arms moving faster than his thoughts, he grabbed her by the tail, preventing her from going anywhere.
"You absolutely can't do this Amara." Nathan looked down at the tail he held with both hands and swallowed a lump of saliva in fear of her reaction. But that still didn't prevent him from finishing what he had to say, "It's too dangerous."
Amara's eyes sought his, causing him to suspect she would demand to be released or try to free herself by force, but she did something else. "All of this is because of you. Had I not come to your tent, I would be there to assist them."
Nathan caught a glimpse of green around her back spots, which let him know that there was a hint of guilt in her words. But did that justify blaming everything on him and running into danger without thinking?
If not for the awful night followed by an awful morning, Nathan might have just taken the blame and hugged her. But he too had his limits, "How is that fair? Blame me all you want, but nothing will change that you had all the chances in the world to go back and you didn't. I'm not saying that you could have done anything abo-"
"Indeed." Gray flashed for a moment before red flowed among her black spots. "This night was a waste of time." His grip faltered at her words and she pulled her tail back from among his fingers. "I should have stayed with Yelara to help her tend to her wounds."
Nathan bit his lips in frustration. How was it possible to agree with her words, yet still feel the sharp sting in his heart?
And if that was not enough, Ryo had to step in to rub salt in the wound.
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
With Elysira’s tail wrapped around his wrist as she averted her eyes from Amara, Ryo spoke, "Please don't tell me you're mad because the plant lover couldn't get it up."
Nathan blinked fast not believing his eyes. Ryo was not only shirtless but there were a lot of scratches on his neck and below. Elysira’s long strands were also a mess, but even without that, their physical closeness alone would be enough of a hint of how much fun they had at night.
When Nathan glanced at Amara to gauge her reaction, she had already crossed her arms, looking at him angrily. Which immediately made him feel as if Ryo’s not-funny joke was true although he knew it wasn't.
It took Nathan a considerable amount of self-retainment to not walk up there and rearrange Ryo's handsome face with his fist, or at least attempt to do so.
A few seconds passed before he said, "Why are you here?"
Ryo didn't even bother to look at him, his eyes focusing solely on Amara. "Information. I want her to tell me what she knows about this war."
Amara didn't look pleased to help, but she still informed him about the ambush and even alerted him that even their current position would soon be unsafe.
As If things weren't already bad enough, Ryo frowned and hurried to instruct Elysira to get his things as soon as Amara had finished talking. Nathan felt like he was in a war movie where everything was happening too fast for his emotions and reason to follow.
It was only when he saw Ryo raising his gun skywards that Nathan’s anger subsided, contained by the prospect of how bad their situation was. Ryo movements were fluid and methodical, but he never pulled the trigger on the many drones that appeared high above and, instead, retreated to take cover behind a tree.
Only now the seriousness of the situation sank in for Nathan.
He didn't even care that he hadn't explained to Amara why he had a gun yet, rushing inside the tent after exchanging a glance with her.
After crossing the circular door, he found only a few items on the ground: a pair of boots, his sleeping bag, and his backpack with all his equipment inside.
Nathan was quick, wearing his boots first before retrieving his belt, knife, and holster from the backpack. With a sequence of swift movements, he strapped the sheathed knife and holster to the belt and cinched it around his waist, securing it in place before closing the backpack and dashing out the door with his gun in one hand and the backpack in the other.
Already outside, Nathan found it weirdly reassuring that Ryo was in the same spot as before, but that only lasted until he tried to find Amara, but found nothing no matter where he searched for her.
He dropped his backpack, feeling at a loss. How could he have allowed her to venture beyond his sight when he knew that guilt was clouding her judgment?
Only when he had already cupped his hands around his mouth to scream her name that he felt a touch right above his heel—her tail.
"Psst..."
Wiping his head, Nathan saw Amara's whole body mimicking the colors of his tent, making herself quite hard to spot.
"I thought you were gone." He joined her, stooping down beside the tent as relief washed over him.
"It might be too late to join my soldiers." She didn't allow her colors to change, but the translator conveyed a hint of sadness. "I lost contact with all the teams who were coming here."
"Amara I-"
Nathan was about to attempt to make things right with her when Ryo’s assertive voice reached him. "Listen up, those fuckers are jamming our comms and they will be here at any time. Take the MLBCS and find a clearing to use it, I doubt they can interfere with the laser. Just don't forget that your immediate safety comes first or else you might not be among the living when the pod arrives."
Ryo ran back to his tent as soon as he was done speaking, leaving Nathan questioning his own intelligence. How come he had never even considered leaving the planet? A single glance at Amara and he knew why. But did he have any other option?
Staying and fighting to hold his position was something he briefly considered. But did he have a chance when even Ryo decided to leave after seeing the drones?
Mission control might give him other options, so Nathan decided to try his luck despite Ryo’s warning.
Unable to establish a two-way connection.
He confirmed the interference with the communication with a single thought, kicking his backpack in frustration even though it was expected.
Why did it have to be so hard to accept that Ryo was right and leaving the planet was his best option?
But would Ryo truly leave the planet and leave Elysira behind?
Nathan forgot Amara who was beside him and screamed, not allowing this question to stay in his mind, "Wait, what are you gonna do?"
Ryo replied as he waited for Elysira, "I'm not leaving the planet unless mission control finds a way to save Ely too."
Nathan's eyes widened, feeling like an idiot as he brought up a pop-up window showing the schematics of the rescue pods. They were designed to be fast vehicles capable of transporting a single person to the space station, but Earth's government hadn’t skimped on the design, which included various components that could be discarded, such as medical supplies and search and rescue equipment.
He used the AI to run the calculations and found that Amara would likely be able to go with him, that is if they wedged themselves into the vehicle and discarded everything else.
Nathan was about to share his findings with Ryo when he caught a glimpse of him and Elysira disappearing into the woods, abandoning their tent behind as they ran away.
A sense of urgency struck him at that moment, but it was easily forgotten when Amara's voice struck even harder, "You should go."
"What do you mean?" He sought her eyes, but she avoided his gaze, facing to the ground.
"Do what Ryo suggested." She took a small pause before she went on. "Leave the planet."
"The hell I will!" He punched the tent. "Not without you." He could only assume she was saying this because she didn't know she could leave with him. "You'll come with me, and the pod will take us to the space station."
"Your species will refuse to take me." He saw a hint of purple on her neck. "Before the mission started your people told us you humans will not get involved in our wars." She finally made eye contact, and the purple on her skin intensified. "My best chance to survive this is to hide in the mountains and wait for reinforcements."
"You don’t understand, Amara." He didn't have time for a full explanation of what humans considered not getting involved. "No one in mission control will want to leave you here to die just because of some stupid rule." He then spoke his heart out without a care in the world. "And even if they do, they will take you anyway if say I won't go anywhere without you."
A hint of yellow could be seen among her camouflaged skin, but before she could say what she would do, her tail wrapped around his neck and he felt a strong pull to lower his head and bend his knees for cover.
"The rebels are here," she whispered as her ears twitched.
Nathan was tall enough to see the slope on the other side of the tent by just standing, but Amara struggled to see from above the structure, requiring her to stretch her full height and still take little jumps to take peeks.
And it was after doing so that she dropped her camouflage entirely, letting purple run free among her black spots.
Nathan took interest in what she had seen that had caused such a reaction, and he leaned cautiously against the tent and raised his head slowly, prepared to find a few armed Irisians hidden among the trees. But what he found instead was a never-ending line of Irisian advancing downhill at a fast pace towards them.
He understood Amara's reaction now, pulling back the harmer of the revolver as he stared at her. "I need to... do something."
He made up his mind, determined to shoot. But when activated the infrared view mode and took aim at Irisians descending the slope, Nathan froze for a second. This just lasted a moment, and when found the resolve to fire, he had already lifted the gun enough that it wouldn't hit anyone and it would just be a warning shot.
He fired once, twice, and went on until all six rounds were gone, then he noticed their organized marching had stopped, all of them having activated their camouflage. Some even broke the line and retreated uphill.
When he took cover again, Amara was protecting her ears with both hands, looking at him as if he were some sort of monster. Nathan ignored her and rifled through his backpack in search of more ammunition, finding the small box with shining metal bullets after he had searched for some long seconds.
It was only when he released the cylinder to reload the gun that Nathan noticed something.
His hands were shaking.
He ignored it and pressed the extraction rod the remove the cartridges from the cylinder to make room for the new ones, clumsily dropping a few of them as he reloaded.
Amara saw this and stopped him with her tail before he had filled all the chambers.
"I cannot go with you." Her body had been conquered by purple.
"You think I'll leave you behind?" He almost reached his breaking point when she replied.
"No." Her tail touched his cheek gently. "There are too many of them, Nathan." She pulled her tail back as a hint of gray appeared. "My brother will never let me go, he lost too many ships and soldiers to give up without his prize." The gray intensified, squeezing her black spots. "If you die with me on this planet, your species might abandon Irisa forever.
"My chances of hiding in the mountains are slim, but they exist... and even if I fail I will distract them long enough for you to flee."
Her body blended with the surroundings again and Nathan felt that she was about to do something stupid, but he moved faster and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to bend her legs and join him on the ground as she stared at him with wide eyes.
"To hell with this self-sacrifice bullshit." Nathan finally decided what he would do. "Do you think I will die that easy? Guess what, you’re wrong." His hands moved from her shoulder to her back and he embraced her. "Let me tell you what we'll do, we take the MLBCS, we find a clearing, and we go to the space station." He released her and added, almost crazily. "You go with me even if I have to drag you by the tail as you scratch me, you hear me?"
He was not kidding; he grabbed her tail with his left hand, leaving her exterior filled with colors ranging from purple to yellow.
Amara was about to reply when the tent produced a thud noise, sounding as if someone had knocked on a cardboard box. When they turned to the side, there was a tiny hole in the tent dangerously close to Amara's head.
She touched the hole with her finger, and then her whole hand pressed against the side of her head, staring at him without saying a word.
Nathan's heart skipped a beat when he realized what had just happened, and consumed by a rage like he never felt before, he pressed the cylinder of his revolver back into place with just the four bullets inside, pulling back the harmer.
This time there was no hesitation, he quickly stood up and used the infrared view mode to survey the now organized groups of Irisians who had taken a defensive formation, choosing as target an Irisian who had climbed a tree and was pointing a long gun at them.
In just a moment Nathan aimed and pulled the trigger, firing one round after another. The first two missed completely, but the others hit the tree right above the target, making this Irisian panic and release his claws from the wood, only to welcome an ugly fall on the rocks below from several meters above the ground.
He took cover again immediately, but this time noise as if he was facing heavy rain under an umbrella struck his eardrums moments after he had taken cover, making him wince every time he heard the distinct noise of a projectile going through one wall of the tent and stopping the other.
With her tail still among his fingers, Nathan and Amara exchanged several anxious glances as the shooting persisted, only calming down when the rebels realized they were wasting ammunition and the barrage of fire slowly started to lose momentum.
Nathan's heart was racing and she was going through all tones of purple when she broke the silence.
"Fine!" She spoke fast. "If you are being so adamant about tying our fates together, we can do it your way." Her tail escaped his grip, but instead of pulling it back, she coiled it around his wrist. "But we are weaker together, Nathan. I will be a burden to you when you run, and you will be a burden to me when we hide."
"Oh, to hell with that too." Despite his harsh words, just knowing that they were on the same page now was enough to give him some hope. "Sorry. I do all the running and you do all the hiding, does that work for you?"
He didn't wait for her reply and loaded the gun again, this time doing it very fast even though his hands were still shaking.
"You do all the running? I fail to understand you." She said as she stood up to take a peek at the enemies, just to recoil in fear and add, "Explain yourself fast, they are losing the fear of your loud gun."
"Sure." He grasped his backpack bottom and overturned it, emptying its contents in a quick motion. With all the items on the ground, Nathan only took the MLBCS and the little box with his drones that he promptly stored in his pocket. "We won't need any of that, which means my back will be free."
"Are you crazy, I am too heavy f-"
"You're not." Nathan was 6′3″, and he had the nanites ensuring he was as healthy as a human could be. This meant that the short Amara—the top of her head only reaching a little below his shoulder—was not a challenging weight for him to carry given her slender body.
Noticing the doubt in her gaze, he lowered his body even more, turning his back towards her in a way it would be easy for her to climb, hoping this would be all the push she needed.
"You take pleasure in testing my trust, do you not?" The tone of her voice hinted at her reluctance, but she still draped her arms over his shoulder, securing her grip in a way her claws wouldn't hurt him.
Even though they had a plan now, Nathan still felt a chill down his spine at the thought of what he would have to do. And despite knowing that he had taken everything he needed, he anxiously patted down his pocket the make sure the box with the drones was there and remembered to take a handful of bullets, filling up his pockets as some of them fell to the ground.
"Ready?" He asked, trying to sound confident.
"See for yourself." Her tail wrapped around his belly, full of tiny black spots surrounded by purple as far as he could see.
Nathan took a few deep breaths and stood up, getting a glimpse of the many groups that were advancing from both sides, trying to surround them.
It didn't even take him a full second before he started firing his revolver indiscriminately at them while his legs moved on their own, not even waiting for his eyes to decide which path he would take.
Amara's weight escaped his thoughts completely, replaced by the fear evoked by the faint noise of metal breaking the sound barrier around them as soon they left the protection of the tent.
He didn't spare a single glance behind, running downhill at full throttle with bursts of adrenalin fueling his speed. He outran the reach of their guns quite fast, hurdling fallen brunches and putting not only distance but also several tree trunks between them and the hostile force behind.
With Amara's solid grip and occasional shifting of her weight to prove that she was fine, Nathan kept his pace as his muscles burned with exertion.
For a little over ten minutes he kept going, jumping over protruding roots and ducking beneath low-hanging branches. But this couldn't go on forever and eventually, he stopped to catch his breath, bending forward and letting go of items in his hand as Amara released her grip to stand on her own two feet.
His breath was coming in ragged bursts, but that didn't keep him from starting to laugh as he stared at her, whose eyes were gentle and her entire body was filled with hints of yellow.
In a split-second though, her whole demeanor changed, all the yellow giving way to purple and red.
She asked a single question, "Is that device of yours supposed to release smoke?"
The tip of her tail was pointing at the MLBCS, which now had a small hole in it from where a whisp of smoke curled upwards, just like a candle after its flame had been extinguished.
Nathan shook his head and touched his forehead; a single word left his mouth, "Fuck."
***
This was an account based on what Nathan did during the first hour of the war. The previous narrative is based on the events of the morning of the twentieth day of the exploratory mission of Irisa. According to your current settings, no queries will be suggested.
next->patreon wiki

My remaining years are few and my body is weak, yet my memories are still sharp, so I shall share a tale I’ve long kept secret. I no longer wish to take it with me to the grave. I once feared that others might be drawn to this horrible experience of mine, like those who wander too close to the edges of a roaring tornado, only to be consumed and mangled beyond recognition. But I’ve come to realize that it was naive to think this way. Though some may not heed a tornado's warning, that’s no reason not to sound the alarm. And so, I tell this story with that purpose in mind.
Consider this the gravest of warnings to stay away from Stonemoor Manor.
In the year of 1953, I was but a young man, though already busy with the responsibilities of a career and a family. Despite my tender age, I had already dabbled in various trades, for I was a restless spirit, never one to settle. From labor to intellect, I had tried my hand at it all. With equal prowess in both craft and wit, I found my true calling in a profession that demanded both: veterinary medicine.
Life in Ireland was tough in those times. Many young families were heading off for better opportunities overseas. Though I was hesitant at first, myself and the wife decided we’d eventually do the same for our daughter’s sake. But I wasn’t about to take them to a new land empty-handed, so we agreed to stay another year in Ireland while I put away some coin. To stretch our savings as far as they would go, we chose to see out our final year in a rural spot where the cost of living was kinder on the pocket.
With but a year's worth of experience as a vet under my belt, I had yet to earn myself a reputation worth speaking of, nor had I much acquaintance with the locals in the village we'd chosen as our temporary home. Still, I held firm in the skills I possessed, my eagerness to learn, and my belief that this countryside community of farms and fields would provide ample chances to prove myself. To put it plainly, I was brimming with confidence, some might even call it cockiness. I suppose it was a mixture of that and desperation which brought me to Stonemoor Manor.
As the days stretched into months, I found myself haunting the local pub like a ghost, a familiar face among the regulars. My confidence was dwindling with the lack of work. It seemed like everyone in that village had the healthiest animals in all of Ireland, maybe even beyond. What a cruel twist, their blessed lives mocking my own struggles.
One evening, in my drunken stupor, I hadn’t noticed at first the gaunt figure come into the pub and saunter over to the shadowed corner where I was drowning my sorrows. It wasn’t until he spoke that I saw him.
“Are you the veterinarian?” He asked.
I raised my head and steadied my blurred gaze on the face of a man whose sunken features made him look more shadow than flesh. For a moment, I even thought I was looking at a skeleton.
“Aye, that’d be me.”
“They seek your presence at Stonemoor Manor.”
“And what’s the reason for that?”
“The Master’s horse has taken ill.”
“And what does this ‘master’ go by?”
The man glared in silence, then in a tone tinged with irritation and raised volume, declared, "His name is Alistair Stonemoor."
In an instant, the chatter in the pub fell silent, and every gaze turned toward our shadowed corner.
Under the weight of the pub's collective gaze, the man squirmed uncomfortably, his voice lowering as he muttered, "It matters not. You’ll be well rewarded for your troubles."
Past the man, the bartender shook his head in disapproval, fixing me with a stern glare, and silently mouthed the word, "no."
Despite the bartender's cautionary glance, fueled by youth, folly, and a healthy dose of drink, I brushed aside his advice and turned to the man, blurting out, "How much is this Master Stonemoor offering?"
The man leaned closer, his face illuminated by the flickering candlelight, revealing a gaunt, pallid countenance and foggy eyes. He looked every bit of his seventy years or more. "Sufficient to settle comfortably upon reaching the shores of America," he murmured.
In that moment, it would have been prudent to heed the warning signaled by the hairs standing on end at the nape of my neck. When your instincts scream "leave," it's best to listen. But the allure of a swift resolution to my troubles clouded my judgment. The prospect of a better life sooner than expected was too tempting to resist. So, I rose from my seat and addressed the man, "I'll go fetch me things.”
I made the decision I believed was best for my family.
God rest their souls.
I kept from my lovely Mary the weight the Stonemoor name carried in the pub. She'd have put a stop to my leaving in an instant. Instead, I spun a tale of a wealthy gent in need of my skills, assuring her I'd be back when the job was done. With our wee Annie already tucked in for the night, I kissed my wife goodbye, gathered my tools, and slipped into the back of a sleek black sedan, driven by the mysterious man with eyes like fog, seemingly undeterred by their cloudy gaze.
I leaned in and murmured, "Didn't quite catch your name, sorry.”
“Never said it.”
“Ah, right. What is it, then?”
“Fergus.”
“Pleasure, Fergus. I’m Liam.”
“I know.”
“Right. The ad. You’ve seen me ad.”
With no response from Fergus, I pressed on, asking, "How far is Stonemoor Manor from here?"
“About a half hour drive.”
What ensued was a half-hour journey enveloped in silence, traversing through the village and onto a dirt path winding through a dense, shadowy forest. Eventually, we arrived at an iron gate, which swung open onto a secluded road. Despite my keen observation, I couldn't discern who operated the gate, nor who secured it shut behind us. Ten minutes further along this secluded path, the woods parted, revealing the grandeur of Stonemoor Manor for the first time.
It bore a striking resemblance to a castle, its exterior fashioned from grey stone adorned with towers and crenellations, save for the central portion, which appeared to be of Victorian design. Judging by the numerous windows, the manor rose at least four stories high, not accounting for any underground levels.
The manor lay bathed solely in the moon's glow, devoid of any external illumination. Among the multitude of windows, only one emitted light: a solitary glimmer from a small window perched atop one of the corner towers.
Fergus brought the car to a halt, then stepped out and opened my door. With a nod, he gestured towards the manor and uttered, "Master Stonemoor awaits you within."
"Up there, is he?” I acknowledged, stepping out of the vehicle and casting a nod towards the illuminated window.
Ignoring my question, Fergus closed the door firmly. "Come along," he directed, leading the way towards the looming manor.
We climbed stone steps to confront a grand iron door, effortlessly opened by old Fergus. He gestured for me to enter before closing the door with a heavy thud that echoed through the foyer. Cast only in the moon's silver light, the room revealed itself in fragments, with stone stairs disappearing into the shadows ahead. Fergus had vanished from sight, leaving me to navigate the dimness alone.
I called out for Fergus, but my voice echoed unanswered, stirring a growing sense of unease. Doubt crept in, whispering of traps and deceit. With cautious steps, I retreated towards the door, its cool iron offering a sense of security. Fumbling in the darkness, my heart quickened with each passing moment, panic threatening to overwhelm me. Just as my trembling hand found the handle, the room burst into light.
“Departing so soon, are we?”
A new voice pierced the silence, resonating with youth and vigor unlike Fergus's. Swiveling around, my eyes met those of a tall, middle-aged man clad in a sleek black three-piece suit, accented by a bold red tie. With raven-black hair framing his face and piercing blue eyes, he commanded the landing of the steps, which diverged to his left and right.
“Ah, sorry now. I seemed to have gone and misplaced Fergus,” I chuckled sheepishly. “Thought he might’ve been locked out. I take it you’re Mister Stonemoor?”
"Please, call me Alistair," he replied with a nod. "And you must be Doctor Kerrigan?"
"Aye... Liam, that's me name," I stammered. "Only the creatures call me doctor."
I couldn't tell if the jest garnered even a smirk, for Alistair remained rooted to the spot at the top of the stairs, a considerable distance away.
"Anyhow," I persisted, "I understand there's a sick horse in need of attention?"
"Are you drunk, Doctor?" Alistair's tone was pointed, his gaze piercing.
Alistair's question caught me off guard, leaving me momentarily speechless, akin to a child caught in mischief. Yet, I had a feeling of innocence; after all, it was Fergus who had recruited me from the pub.
“I’ve had a few pints this evening.”
“I can smell it on you.”
“That is truly impressive.”
“There is nothing impressive about it, Doctor Kerrigan.”
“Well, I didn’t go swimming in it, did I?”
“I do not know and I find your sarcasm unwelcome. Fergus will escort you to a chamber, and you shall begin attending to my horse at daybreak."
“Hold on now, I'm sorry for me behavior, but I can't be staying the night. I've got a family to get back to. And anyhow, shouldn't this horse be needing emergency treatment?"
Alistair turned on his heel and ascended the staircase to his right. "Treatment can wait until you've sobered up," he declared, his tone leaving no room for argument.
"I'm plenty sober!" I hollered after him as he vanished up the stairs. "Me hands are steady as a rock!" My protest echoed through the empty foyer, but Alistair had already disappeared from sight.
Fergus emerged from the shadows of a nearby hallway, causing me to startle. "I will show you to your room.”
“You’re a right sly one, Fergus. Anyway, I can’t be sticking around for the night.”
“Master intends to further compensate you for your time.”
“And if I refuse?”
“Then I shall return you to your burdens.”
With my jaw clenched and eyes shut tight, I drew in a deep breath. For a fleeting moment, a vision danced in my mind's eye: my little Annie, her smile radiant as she pointed towards Lady Liberty. So precious she was, my heart ached with longing for her to have a better life.
"Fine," I relented, opening my eyes. "Show me to the room."
As I awoke, it was not to the gentle glow of morning light, but to the harsh brightness of noon. Jumping from the bed, I checked my watch, confirming my fears. With urgency, I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my bag, and hastened out of the bedroom. Stepping into the hallway, I was disoriented, with no recollection of its layout from the night before. Rows of closed doors lined the corridor, and I began to try each one in turn. Pushing and pulling, I soon realized that every door was locked. Surely, not every room warranted such security, I pondered, my frustration growing with each failed attempt.
As I ventured down the hall and finally arrived at the imposing stone staircase, the resounding clicks of each door unlocking in unison sent shivers down my spine. Goosebumps prickled across my skin, and I hastened my descent down the stairs, my heart pounding in my chest. Just as I reached the bottom, I came to an abrupt stop, narrowly avoiding a collision with the ghastly figure of Fergus.
“Sleep well?” He asked.
“Jesus, Fergus! It’s noon! Has the horse given up the ghost yet? And, I haven’t a clue what’s happening upstairs, but…”
“Master Stonemoor awaits your presence in the stables.”
I looked at Fergus a moment, wondering if he’d heard a word I’d said, then relented, “Okay, then. Can I use a phone first?”
“There’s no phone on this property.”
“No phone? That’s a bit old-fashioned, isn’t it? I need to let me wife know where I am.”
“I will send word.”
“Quickly, then. Just let her know not to be worrying about me. I’ll be back once the job is done.”
Fergus nodded in acknowledgement before guiding me towards the stables. In the light of day, the grandeur of Stonemoor Manor became even more apparent. It truly was a colossal structure, dominating the landscape with its impressive presence.
The stables were nearly empty, save for one stall at the far end where I found Alistair tending to a black thoroughbred, sprawled on straw, barely clinging to consciousness.
"She's a beauty, isn't she?" Alistair remarked, not lifting his gaze from her.
"Aye, but she's in a bad way."
Alistair nodded solemnly. "She's been like this for some time.”
"You should've woke me.”
"Wouldn't have changed a thing." Alistair paused in his brushing of the horse’s mane and rested his hand upon her flank, following the rhythm of her strained breaths.
"Isn't it me duty to tend to her?"
Alistair withdrew his hand and straightened up, his eyes bluer than ever. "No, it's not." And just then, the horse's breathing stopped. "Come along, Doctor."
Alistair guided me through the grand house, down echoing halls, and into a room adorned with portraits aplenty. He paused in the center of the room and asked, "Any of these faces look familiar?" I scoured the walls until I stumbled upon a particular painting, a sight that nearly shook me to the core. In that frame, a woman and a young lass gazed back at me, bearing an eerie resemblance to my own Mary and our sweet Annie.
My blood boiled with fury, convinced that this portrait depicted my own wife and daughter. Suspicion gnawed at me, and I eyed Alistair with distrust, wondering if he was some sort of obsessed deviant. "Out with it," I demanded, my voice sharp with anger.
“No need to fret, Doctor. This painting predates your girls by quite a stretch."
"I'm not taking it, they're too alike for comfort.”
"I’m just as baffled as yourself," Alistair conceded, his words laced with sadness. "The girls in the painting are my dear wife and daughter. Both passed away some time ago."
I stood silent for a moment, then spoke softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize." My gaze returned to the portraits before scanning the room again, my eyes catching on something odd. "Don't you have any photographs of them?"
Alistair let out a weary sigh and turned to me. "I'm afraid not," he confessed. "They passed before photographs were even a notion."
A puzzled chuckle broke from my lips. "Surely not. Cameras have been about for a hundred years," I countered, shaking my head in disbelief.
Alistair fixed me with a steady gaze, betraying no hint of doubt or error. "So it be," he affirmed with quiet certainty.
Apart from Alistair's piercing blue eyes, other features seemed to have taken on a newfound radiance. His skin possessed a youthful glow, his hair appeared fuller, and his jawline more defined. Alistair, it seemed, had undergone a remarkable rejuvenation, growing younger right before my eyes.
“Pardon me asking, but in which year were you born, Mister Stonemoor?”
Alistair smirked and made his way to a sizable wooden desk and lowered himself onto a chair. "Are you a man of faith, Doctor Kerrigan?”
Assuming this to be a roundabout approach, I responded, "Aye, I've a healthy fear of the Almighty."
Alistair rummaged through a drawer and withdrew a hefty leather-bound tome, causing a cloud of dust to rise as he placed it upon his desk. Flipping it open, he motioned for me to approach. Amongst the sea of words, atop the first page, was a title:
The Knights Templar.
What Alistair divulged to me was a tale so fantastical, it surpassed any yarn I'd ever heard spun. He claimed to have once been among the legendary Knights Templar, embroiled in the Crusades and journeying across continents in pursuit of sacred relics and hidden truths.
But as history tells, the Templars met a grim fate, condemned by their own church and hunted to extinction. Yet, Alistair was no mere casualty of that bloody chapter. He was a survivor, lurking in the very woods where Stonemoor Manor now stood, clutching to the shadows with a treasure in hand.
Amongst the spoils of his clandestine escapades was a fabled emerald tablet, etched with secrets believed to bridge the mortal realm with the divine. Alistair, having purloined the tablet and sought refuge in the forest, claimed to have communed with the Almighty himself. And in that sacred dialogue, he made a plea, and it was granted.
Thus, his years became as boundless as his desires.
As his narrative drew to a close, Alistair closed the book and beckoned me to follow him back to the stables. Stunned into silence after what I’d just heard, I trailed behind him as we retraced our steps to the very spot where we had witnessed the horse's demise. And once we arrived, still, my tongue lay dormant as I beheld the miraculous sight before me: the once lifeless creature now stood vibrant and strong.
Finally, a solitary word escaped my lips, a gasp of incredulity as I uttered, "How?"
"The Lord bestowed upon me a gift," Alistair confessed, his voice weighted with solemnity. "But it came at a cost. In death, I find life. With each soul I take, I grow younger."
The transformation in Alistair's appearance now made sense, yet it did little to quell my lingering doubts about the resurrection of the horse. "But why is the horse alive, then?" I pressed, seeking further clarification.
In response, Alistair simply glanced past me, nodding toward a figure looming in the shadows. Turning, my eyes fell upon Fergus, his form now even more weathered, his countenance more gaunt and gray. He looked to have aged another decade.
Alistair spoke as I stood in awe, elucidating, "With death, I am rejuvenated, yet with life, Fergus withers further. I take and I gain, while he gives and he loses. Our blessing is also our curse.”
Fergus looked on with weary eyes and sagging shoulders. "There was a portrait earlier that escaped your notice, Doctor," Alistair interjected. "It was the portrait of my son... Fergus Stonemoor."
To be continued…

First off, I'm 15 years old, AFAB. I'm not on any medications and I'm diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The only medical history that is significant is that a few years ago, around two years ago, I recieved notice that I was vitamin D decificent.
For around a year now, I've been dealing with these odd pains in my joints and muscles. When they began, they started off mostly painless. Recently, both the occurances and intensities of these pains have spiked. They've been significantly worse the last three months. The pains are on and off, but I'll get sharp pains in random parts of my body (fingers, wrists, neck, back, shoulders, ankles, knees, etc..) only for them to go away after a certain period of time. These pains are, at minimum, around a three on the pain scale. At most, they can reach about six. These pains usually last around at least a minute and at most a few hours, but at times they impact my day to day life. These pains will often interlap, too, so when one stops, another begins.
Should I visit a doctor regarding this issue, or is it just something that everyone deals with on a day to day basis?

30yr old female. History of dry skin and psoriasis on the scalp. Haven’t had issues like this, ever. About a week ago, I felt itchy. All over. I noticed red blotch areas on my arm but they went away. Some days my neck and shoulders are itchy. My head and “down there” are the WORST with the itch. Seems to subside a good bit when I take an allergy pill.
I woke up a few nights ago to it being so uncomfortable down there I had to get an ice pack. I don’t even think it helped the itch. Non stop itching.
I’m clean, I shower, I haven’t changed anything in my routines. I’ve tried a bath. Anti bacterial ointment. And for my scalp I’ve tried medicated shampoo I have, not a new one. Aloe. Scalp elixir. STD is 99.9% unlikley, and it wouldn’t explain my head that’s itching too.. and other parts of my body on occasion.
I’m on no medications. I haven’t added anything new to my diet really aside from some tea I’ve had periodically over the last 3 or so weeks and some fulvic minerals 2 days ago. Nothing fits the timeline. I have seasonal allergies and that’s about it. My heads driving me nuts right now and my lady parts.

Hello! I've spent the past few weeks reading this sub and waffling over HM, Leaps, and other chairs like Anthro and Hinomi. I figure it's time I ask the crowd what their thoughts are.
I do WFH but I also have a standing desk so I go back and forth between sit and stand throughout the day. I spend a ton of time in excel and on top of that am a ergo keyboard hobbyist so I have the prime setup for everything except my chair.
On top of WFH I have spent the majority of my life as a seamstress- I'm talking from childhood with learning to sew, then to running freelance for a decade+ until the pandemic, I've spent a lot of my life in various types of chairs, from rolling stools, yoga balls, low back type and more.
My last office sent me an "ok"ish mesh office chair in 2020 but I need to invest in something that properly supports my joints. I have hypermobility and sometimes I over-extend my right arm because there is no resistance with the joint until I do it more than three plus times and it becomes a repetitive strain injury. It's primarily my right shoulder joint with the soreness under the shoulder blade.
To further extrapolate on the hypermobility - a chair isn't the solution, PT and exercises are the major components along with mindfulness of my posture. I have a horrible habit of not realizing I'm not only slouching but sliding off the chair depending on how burned out I get from excel. If I don't have something with defined back support, I move around too much.
I'm looking to purchase something that supports my spine/posture (I like the theory behind the Anthro and Hinomi chair but not enough to commit yet.) and something like a headrest or neck support. I understand the utility of the headrest is debatable, but I can say I like to lean my head back and close my eyes for a moment of rest sometimes between meetings. I have definitely clocked out with a sore neck from this before. If not a neck rest, high backed chair would be great. I can confidently say something with a less defined/high backed (like the Anthro) will not work for me. I'd be happy to invest in something that will last, and I am local to OC (CA) so there are a few places I can check in person, but I want to have a bit more knowledge of what to actually look for.

TL;DR: Left shoulder is weak. Need exercises to strengthen it for long bike rides
When riding my gravel bike I'm experiencing pain between my left shoulder blade and my spine. It feels like the muscles there are tensing up and tightening. The pain is most pronounced when gripping the hoods, less when gripping further back and least when in the drops.
I am aware that geometry and position on the bike (not engaging the core enough, rounded shoulders etc) can lead to too much weight on the hands and pain in the shoulder and neck and am therefore doing core exercises regularly and trying to keep proper position on the bike.
However, I'd assume that these issues would affect both shoulders to some degree. But so far, the issue doesn't appear on my right side. As far as I can tell, I'm balanced with equal pressure on both palms (or maybe even slightly favoring my left side by putting more pressure on the right because of pain).
Which leads me to believe that the muscle between my left shoulder blade and my spine is probably particularly weak (possibly from chilling on my couch for years on my left side propping myself up on my left elbow?).
I am looking for exercises that strengthen this particular muscle. Not to increase max strength but to improve it's performance in an endurance setting of course (long bike rides holding my upper body to some degree and making micro adjustments to steering etc). Any help and suggestions will be much appreciated!
If anyone knows any good stretches for this muscle that would also be great! "Classic" shoulder stretches and foam rolling over the area don't seem to get the best results and the muscle stays tight for days.
Thank you!

I’m 37. 22st male statins. Basildon hospital. I was working out in a garage for 6 months boxing lost 4 stone from24. I went to the garage to hit the punch bag felt drained 2 o’clock in the morning felt like I was having a heart attack. So went to the hospital for them to say it’s not which is great news but gave me naproxen but I was already taking statins for high cholesterol. 2nd day of taking them I had a really bad reaction. Hives all over face swollen lips. Felt very strange for months afterwards very weak. Throat would go tight and swell after eaten foods and drinks. I thought I was allergic to these. So would get test always come negative then I asked for a full allergies test 10 months ago I’ve been waiting for ten months I had it booked for next month on the 3rd only for the clinic to cancel my appointment that I’ve been desperately waiting for. I’m gutted they have just randomly cancelled. this is Basildon, and honestly I felt like it was keeping me going. 14 months of hell the doctors have been pretty poor to me I never ever go to the doctors until 14 months ago. I’ve had the ambulance out on a number of occasions I’ve been up the hospital during the nights because I’ve woken up with tight throat. It’s not strep negative it’s not cobble stone negative the believe it could be allergies they also believe it to be silent reflux had taken medication lanzopro can’t spell very well either lol but was making me unwell, I get blurry vision and was asked to get my eyes tested my eyes haven’t changed and are ok. Burning throat white mucus. Probably unrelated but also started 14months ago right shoulder pain right back of neck pain. Because I’ve been going through this for a long time you can imagine mental stress off my throat closing up and not being able to breathe properly. I’ve taken Antihistamine every day for 14 months I feel like they don’t help. I have had test for pots copd and asthma was all under long Covid testing but the only thing they found was a restriction on my left lung but don’t know what it is. I got referred to respiratory clinic FINALY after 14 months of begging then I got a letter to say it will be October. I’m very depressed on how things are going I’m not getting the correct help the doctors I’ve had to change because the lady wasn’t helping me so I made a complaint and refused to see her and the see the head nurse if that’s a thing she wasn’t much better I said I need test to see what these lumps are it could be a tumour or cancer she laughed at me. I put the phone down check my nhs app online for her to write. patient thinks he has cancer and he would benefit from counselling therapy and now I’m doing therapy second session honestly hand on my heart these gps have really made me feel like I’m going insane at times. Can’t find nothing wrong with me but I’m really unwell with all this. Blury eyes sore tight throat flare up. Itchy skin sometimes swollen tongue itchy skin after shower, hard to swallow at times back of tongue lumps swell red spots on tongue keep having white film over tongue white mucus over throat fatigued every day. Wake up during the night with tingling arms and shoulders. Was out in the sun the other day few hours my hands burned but felt tingling for days. Very dry hands almost like I was having a reaction from the sun. Im not a praying man but I’ve done a lot of praying this year. Any help suggestions would great be appreciated. I’m at the end with it all.

I'm laying on my couch with extreme neck and head pain, I kinda feel like I need answers at this point. Like this is my rock bottom.
A bit of history: I'm AFAB and 25 years old. As long as I can remember the joints in my legs have hurt. As a kid I was told it was growing pains, that I'd grow outta it. Never did, to this day I'll still experience it. It seems like the cold and being in uncomfortable positions brings it on. I can't sit criss cross for more than 5 minutes before the pain becomes too much. Kneeling is a nightmare if I'm not on something to cushion them. At some point it began in my arms as well. Shoulders, elbows, wrists, and fingers. I get pain from itching my head because of having to hold them up. In recent years my neck has started hurting and it'll give me an entire headache. Those are the worst. And when performing oral my jaw hurts very quickly (sorry for the TMI just trying to paint a picture of all I experienced). I'm at a point I gotta pop 1000mg of ibuprofen or acetaminophen to feel relief. Getting a job where I sit, proper footwear, and a high quality mattress have helped but I don't feel "cured." At one point around 18-19 I brought it up with my PCP and we did some blood tests. Everything came back normal and I didn't have the time, energy, or financial means to look into it further. Well now I have all of those things, but I still feel afraid? 2023 was the year of medical stuff for me and I was ready to be done with it. However now the pain has been flaring up again and I have to decide how I wanna proceed. I guess I just wanna know what to try, what to look out for, what I should be pushing for in doctor visits. Any practical advice would be appreciated.

Howdy. I am officer M (only M, privacy reasons, could lose my job if I was exposed). I’ve been investigating these three cases for the past few years, and I wanted to see if anyone had any clue how to solve them.
I normally wouldn’t go to places like Reddit for this, but I’m desperate. Everyone else I’ve tried has said that this is some kind of webseries project thing. It isn’t.
I’m gonna show you the transcriptions of three sets of video tapes. The first set is from James Barlowe, the second from Daren Redd, and the third from Nick Robin.
Well, I’d better get on with it.
[- - -]
There’s only one tape in this section. It begins with a man in a priest’s uniform (identified as James Barlowe) in the driver’s seat of a car. The person holding the camera is in the passenger’s side.
CAMERAMAN (LATER IDENTIFIED AS NICK ROBIN): “So! What’re we doing, James?”
JAMES: “Oh, uhm, we’re going to a haunted house to perform an exorcism.”
NICK: “Hell yeah we are!”
Nick turns the camera towards his face.
NICK: “Someone tipped us off on a haunted house recently, so we’re gonna go check it out. And James is gonna use his cool priest powers or whatever to get rid of the ghosts! Right James?”
The camera pans to James.
JAMES: “Ah- Yeah.”
The camera turns back to Nick.
NICK: “Now, I’m not gonna be in this one too much, since James is gonna be doing his stuff on his own.”
JAMES: “Wait what?”
The tape cuts off here, and picks back up with James holding the camera. He’s in front of a run-down, abandoned house. He seems nervous, fidgeting with the stole around his neck.
JAMES: “Okay, so, uhm. I am Father Barlowe, and, uhm..I kind of thought Nick was gonna be here. He- He told me he was gonna be here. I dunno. Uhm. Today I’m going to exorcise this ghost. I, uh, don’t know if I’m allowed to do that anymore. But I know how.”
James turns the camera around, and starts to walk into the house. The front door opens into a hallway, which leads to a living room. The camera shakes as James fumbles with his pockets, then brings out a cross. He holds it out in front of him.
JAMES: “Uhm, if there are any ghosts here, show yourself.”
Nothing happens. James mutters something about editing. He waves the cross around dramatically.
JAMES: “Ghost, or demon, or whatever you are, please come and-”
A loud bang comes from somewhere within the house. James seems to flinch. He can be heard heavily breathing as he turns the camera towards the sound.
JAMES: “Uhm..Okay. That’s okay. I’ve got a cross. I’m okay.”
James begins to walk down the hall, where the sound was heard. The camera is shaking, and James is holding out his cross.
JAMES: “Okay, uhm- I think..I think the ghost is in there.”
James points to the doorway at the end of the corridor, then advances towards it. He walks through, and into what appears to be a study. There is a desk and chair in the corner. The chair has a pitch-black figure in it.
JAMES: “Oh god, okay, uhm- Okay. Okay. Uhm. Uh- Demon!”
The figure turns to face James. He holds out his cross with a trembling hand.
JAMES: “Foul creature, begone from this home-”
The figure stands up and begins to walk towards James. The camera is dropped.
JAMES: “Oh God, oh God!”
James can be heard running away.
[- - -]
This first tape is very intriguing to me. The figure has not been identified. At least, not as anyone in the town.
I interviewed both Nick Robin and James Barlowe (they had not gone missing after this video. quite the contrary, in fact. James Barlowe is the one that brought the video to police), and they revealed that most of the content in their videos was fake.
They said that the events of the video were not planned.
[- - -]
The camera appears to be moved around a bit, before setting up to show a man in a red hoodie (identified as Daren Redd) sitting in an office chair. It can be assumed that he’s at his desk. He smiles at the camera.
DAREN: “Uh- Hi. This feels weird, haha. I don’t think I should introduce myself? I don’t know. No one but me’s gonna see this anyways. Unless I make, like, a giant scientific discovery. Or break a world record.”
Daren fidgets with the strings of his hoodie, twirling one between his fingers.
DAREN: “So. My sleep schedule sucks. I’ve been trying to fix it for weeks now, it isn’t working. I’ve decided, fuck it, I’m just gonna roll with it. So! I’m gonna try and stay up for 12 days straight.”
Daren grabs the camera, and shows a calendar up on the wall. The month and year are cut off. Two days are circled (Tuesday, then the next Saturday).
DAREN: “I’ve got a calendar here so that I can figure out how long I’ve been up. If I do more physical stuff, maybe I’ll stay up longer! Haha.”
The camera pans back to Daren.
DAREN: “I’ve got my room-mate watching over me. He’s actually in here right now- Say hi, Nick!”
(PRESUMABLY) NICK, IN THE BACKGROUND: “Hey.”
DAREN: “I rested up real good to prepare for this, so I’m hoping that my plan works. So, uh..Yeah. D-Man out.”
The next tape starts out with Daren holding the camera up to Nick Robin.
DAREN: “Niiiiiiiick.”
NICK: “Why are you recording me?”
DAREN: “Nick how long have I been awake?”
NICK: “Since yesterday, I think.”
Daren flips the camera around to face him. He has a large grin on his face.
DAREN: “That’s right, baby! D-Man has been awake for one whole day! Well- Two? One? Since Tuesday. It’s, uh, Wednesday.”
Daren shows the calendar to the camera. Tuesday is crossed off.
DAREN: “So far, nothing weird has happened yet. I’m tired, but I’ve been drinking a ton of Monster.”
The camera pans to a trash can, with several cans of Monster in it.
DAREN: “So! I should be able to stay up as long as I need. World record, here I come!”
The third tape begins with Daren dragging a trash bag outside.
DAREN: “Ok so I forgot to record a tape today, and I know that if I don’t do it now I’m gonna forget again. But, uhm, I’ve been up for..Uh..I dunno. Time is a concept, anyways. It’s Thursday now, though!”
Daren heaves the trash bag into a can. He walks back inside, and sighs with relief as he enters.
DAREN: “Whew, I love air conditioning.”
NICK (IN THE BACKGROUND): “Dude- Why don’t you take your hoodie off?”
DAREN: “Ah, y’know.”
NICK: “I really don’t.”
DAREN: “See, you get it!”
Daren chuckles and brings the camera into his room. He sets it down on his desk, and sits down in the office chair. He has bags under his eyes, and his hair looks messier than usual.
DAREN: “So. Recently, I’ve been tired. Like, horridly tired. To the point where even sitting down is a..” Yawn. “Risky move for me. But, working from home is keeping me on my toes. Who knew that writing reports could be so exhilerating!”
He looks over his shoulder for a moment, before turning back to the camera. His eyes appear wide and frightened, but he’s still smiling.
DAREN: “Uh, pro tip, maybe don’t try this stuff! I’m stupid enough to try and get a world record, but you, uh, shouldn’t be. Anyways, uhm, D-Man out.”
The fourth tape shows Daren in the hospital, sitting next to Nick, who is in a bed with an IV in his arm. Daren’s eye bags have gotten worse.
DAREN: “Hey, uhm. I don’t know if I’m supposed to record in here. I had to drive Nick to the hospital- He had a dairy allergy thing.”
NICK: “I said he could record in here, don’t worry.”
DAREN: “Yea, he- He said I could record this. I think I’m gonna stay the night here- People do that at hospitals, right? But, uh, they don’t need a bed for me. Because I’m not sleeping! I’m just gonna, uh, play on my phone for the night.”
Daren looks over his shoulder, before turning back to the camera.
DAREN: “Well! It’s Friday now. Been, uh, four days, I think? Yeah. I’ve been awake for four whole days! Well, uhm, this is more filler than anything. Nothing to note. D-Man out.”
The fifth tape is corrupted. Nothing is salvageable.
The sixth tape begins with Daren sitting at his desk. He looks tired beyond comprehension. His knee is bouncing, and he’s tapping his fingers on the table.
DAREN: “Uh, day..Six. I think. It’s Sunday now. The Lord’s day, ha-ha! I’m- I’m not religious. But, uhm, I know one of Nick’s friends is. James something. Maybe I should call that guy. I-”
Daren cuts himself off by looking over his shoulder. He looks back. His eyes are wild and terrified.
DAREN: “I think this was a bad idea. A horrible idea. I- I tried to sleep yesterday. But I couldn’t. I can’t- I can’t close my eyes for too long. Uhm..Nick has been in the hospital since Friday. He’s- He should be back by now. His visits never take this long.”
Daren chuckles. His voice sounds nervous.
DAREN: “He should be back soon, though, right? Right. He’s just taking a bit longer than usual. Uhm, Darry out.”
The seventh tape shows Daren sitting under his desk. He sets up the camera and brings his knees to his chest.
DAREN: “Nick came back today. He, uhm. He’s acting different. I was- I was talking to him, and he, uhm. He forgot he had a dairy allergy. He just..Forgot. I reminded him and he went- He went, oh, yeah. Like he didn’t go to the hospital for it a couple days ago.”
Daren appears to be trembling. He pulls his hood over his head.
DAREN: “..Been awake for seven days, ha-ha. So close! Just, uhm..Five? Four? Something around that. That many days left. I don’t- I don’t wanna do this. But I think I have to. I think it’ll leave me alone if I..”
Daren looks up at something offscreen, and screams.
[- - -]
Daren Redd went missing after this video. I’ve been looking for him for years. I’m trying to stay professional here, but I really don’t know what’s going on. I still sometimes try to figure out what he was looking at in the last tape. But there’s no reflection in his eyes- No shadows anywhere. Nothing. Could he be hallucinating?
I don’t think he is. I think he’s seeing things, sure, but they’re real. They have to be real.
[- - -]
This last section begins with Nick Robin in a car. He’s driving this time, with the camera on the dashboard. James is in the passenger seat. There’s camping gear and a few bags in the back seats.
NICK: “Hey! Welcome back to the PDC (later identified as Paranormal Discovery Channel, the youtube account that both Nick Robin and James Barlowe share), today we’re gonna be exploring a whole abandoned town! It’s called, uh..What was it called again?”
JAMES: “Sasbol heights.”
NICK: “Right, right. Sasbol heights or whatever. Anyways! It’s gonna be cool. Oh- There it is! Dude dude dude- Look!”
The camera points to a charred-looking town. Maybe burnt down?
NICK: “We’re gonna get settled, then get back to all of you. I’ll see y’all soon!”
The next tape begins with Nick sitting in a tent.
NICK: “So! It’s been, like, a day. The first night was pretty underwhelming- Just some creepy old town with bugs and stuff. Nothing too special. Just a bigger version of a haunted house.”
Nick looks off screen- Presumably at James. Nick chuckles.
NICK: “James is sleeping right now. Apparently he’s been having nightmares? That’s, uh, pretty normal for him, though. Oh! Today I started setting up the ghost hunting stuff. Unpacking, putting up cameras, all that jazz.”
There’s shuffling from behind the camera. Nick smiles at (assumedly) James, and winks at the camera.
The third tape starts with Nick and James going into one of the abandoned houses. Nick seems much more enthusiastic than James.
JAMES: “We’re gonna put a voice-over on this, right?”
NICK: “Yea, yea. Something something, abandoned house, something something.”
JAMES: “Good, good, uhm..Nick, man, you know I like doing this and all..But I don’t think I like this episode. It’s like- It feels wrong, y’know?”
NICK: “Mm..You’re right, you’re right. But hey! Think of the money we’ll get from this. Our reactions are gonna be authentic and shit. Plus, we’ve only got a day left.”
Nick pats James’ back, and James smiles.
JAMES: “Right. You’re right.”
The fourth tape is corrupted.
The fifth tape doesn’t include James or Nick’s face, but we can assume who is talking.
NICK: “Listen, man, it- It just got corrupted. It’s fine, right? It’s cool. We can redo it-”
JAMES: “I’m fucking serious, Nick! This isn’t normal! None of the shit we saw yesterday was planned!”
NICK: “I know, I know, but come on man! I need this money!”
JAMES: “Money isn’t worth it, at this point. Please, God, let’s just leave.”
NICK: “If you wanna leave, just go! I can do the video without you.”
JAMES: “I’m not just leaving you with these demons!”
Both Nick and James are quiet for a while. Nick silently walks back to the tent, bringing the camera with him.
The sixth tape is shot from within Nick’s car. Nick is driving, the camera is on the dashboard. He seems terrified.
NICK: “I’m not publishing this. I’m keeping this for myself, and- I don’t know! The police, probably! Jesus Christ- I’m fucking speeding. Are there even road laws here?”
Nick looks at his gas tank, seeing the needle nearing the E. He begins to tear up.
NICK: “Fuck- Uhm. What happened. James tried to kill me, and- And I don’t think he’s James anymore. I really don’t. He’s- He’s not that guy I went to high school with. There’s actually no way.”
He looks at the camera briefly, doing a quick double take.
NICK: “What- No. No. No- Goddammit! Leave me alone!”
The car swerves, and the camera topples over.
[- - -]
I’ve been thinking about these cases since I found them. The actual police department doesn’t know about them- And I haven’t told my superior about them. These tapes just kind of appeared at my doorstep one day, along with a camera.
I looked at the camera’s film, and found three images.
The first one is a picture from the first set of tapes. It seems edited, though. James has a halo.
The second one is from the second set. It shows an image of Daren, with some kind of pitch-black figure behind him.
The third one is, supposedly, from the third set. Though nothing like it is seen anywhere in the tapes. It’s an image taken from the driver’s seat of Nick’s car, showing the camera from the video on the dashboard. On the screen of the camera is Nick. The image is edited to show a car tire over Nick’s face.
If anyone knows anything about James Barlowe, Daren Redd, or Nick Robin, please tell me at [xxxxxxxxxxxxxx]@gmail.com.

I have been on a long journey over the past 2 years trying to figure out what is happening to me. Long story short, i've been to around 15 specialists, therapists, psychiatrists, you name it. Possible diagnosis that have been thrown out are: POTS, autonomic dysfunction, celiac, hashimotos, etc. As of right now, they label it an "idiopathic autoimmunity". Through my tests i've found: High T4, fluctuating TSH, sinus rhythm tachycardia (beta blocker has helped a ton), low ferritin (not absorbing although taking it), foraminal narrowing in my left neck, MTHFR gene mutation, under average response to vestibular cues.
I knew I was having trouble with food as soon as a few months in, just was unsure which foods. I tried to cut out sodium, garlic, lots of trial and error with rashes, feeling like i was going to pass out or my body was putting me to sleep after meals. I had a doctor suggest gluten and dairy free- this was a HUGE help, I went from 15% functioning to about 80%, still having "flare ups" and getting sick from food unsure of what is causing it. Over the months of tracking, i've come to realize I cannot have eggs or banana as well. Both cause me to feel feverish and unable to breathe, for which I have been prescribed a Z-pac for a suspected respiratory infection realistically every 3-5 months during all of this, but am started to suspect rather than repeating URI's- there may be allergic reactions happening, some stronger than others. I eat a very strict diet and still sometimes find myself feeling ill, often nausea as well.
I suspect MCAS due to the amount of foods I can no longer eat out of no where with no clear diagnosis or purpose and the intense respiratory effects I have in response to it. Especially in the summer, I have heat intolerance accompanied by a huge intolerance to the air outside, I have had asthma all my life but i've generally been ok without my inhaler unless I was full on running, this keeps me inside because I just can't breathe.
Some of my main symptoms before my diet changes were: partial body numbness, tachycardia, flutters/palps, dizziness, brain fog, extreme fatigue/weakness, impending doom/panic attacks (never had anxiety before this), intense mood swings, red hot face after eating/flushing, appetite fluctuations STARVING or cannot even smell food.
If you've read this far, thank you. Please give me your input as I just recently heard about this diagnosis and am considering it. I do not want to look like a fool and be dismissed for going to another doctor with another suspected diagnosis. I am 23 F, very active and health conscious.

Don't come after me for my lingual mistakes, English isn't my mother language.
We started dating back in January 2019. He became my everything. My happiness, joy, euphoria... I was dealing with a lot of shit at home and tried to kms sometimes, and each time he tried to stop me and listened to me cry for days and weeks and months. At that time, I hadn't gotten my diagnosis, yet. I went to several therapy and one place even gave me a prescription for bipolar disorder, a mood stabilizer. At the same time, the tension between my parents and i reached another level of hatred and spite. I got kicked out of the house. I had/have no close friends. So I called him and took to the subway. I was so numb, I felt nothing and at the same time, I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I stayed at his place for a while. And then moved to two other places until we finally decided to move in together. Better said, I moved into his apartment.
A little background: Keep in mind, that my parents behaviour was due to their religious and cultural background. I fked myself by trusting and telling my parents about my relationship with him. From that moment on, my father called me "carcinogen", "misery and shame bringer". My mother called me a whore, a prostitute... They blamed me for everything. Even if it was about their marriage, they blamed me. My mom told me always that I hated her, ever sense I was a newborn baby, cause I cried a lot and didn't let her go to gathering and enjoy her time. She kept on pushing this idea into my head. She talked shit behind him, which made me feel tormented. Because, whenever I met his mother, she treated me with so much respect. She treated him with so much love and acceptance. For example: he visited us once and it was already very late for him to leave, it was around 12 pm and my mom said in mocking tone: when will he leave? Does he think that this place is his dad's house? When I tried to tell him that he should leave, my mom insisted that he should stay. She fucked me up! She still behaves like a snake. I never felt any sort of emotional connection to her due to her behaviour. Long story short, when they kicked me out, they blamed me. They said, you always wanted to be independent so you left us on your own. We did. Nothing wrong. One night, I sat in my room and thought about my mom and his mom's behaviour. About how he was blessed with a mom who loves him unconditionally. I felt such a pain that I started cutting myself with a sharp object. I cried and cried. Called my friends and aunts and said goodbye. One of my friends called the police on me and they nearly broke the door on me. It was the first lowest point of my life. My therapist said she couldn't help me anymore.
Fast forward, when I moved into his apartment, I decided to get engaged to him to shut my parents up. They were always nagging about what people would think of an illegitimate relationship. That I would bring Shame upon the family. And that I would tarnish their reputation. I talked to him and his mom. He accepted it and his mom gave us her blessings. We went with The rituals. I wish I hadn't done it. From that day one, his behaviour changed, totally. He started doubting me. He said, he felt like he was raped mentally, because he didn't get engaged on his own terms but he did it for me and parents sake. He went through a hot-cold phase, couldn't handle simple criticism, didn't respect my boundaries... I was going through shit because of the trauma I was/am dealing with. I felt deep emptiness and loneliness. I longed for the love that I didn't receive from my parents. No amount of sex, kisses, hugs, gifts... Nothing can fulfill that hole inside my heart. He got tired of my sickness. My behaviour. My self harming. My anger and crying spells. Our relationship got cold. I was physically unable to have sex because I couldn't enjoy it and it hurt my body. I couldn't initiate physical contact. I loved him but I wasn't attracted to him anymore, partially because he kept on breaking my boundaries. He triggered me. I have a habit of biting my nails when I am stressed and I begged him so many time to stop biting his nail at least around me, cause I am trying to get rid of his habit. But as he likes to say: he forgot. His priorities are different. He had so many bad habits that went against my choices and morals. I felt distanced from him. Was he showing his true colours, now that I was in vulnerable position? Eventually, one night, he told me that he sees me as someone who has stolen his freedom because he can't date other women, have sex with them, experience all those things young people do. Tbh, I had that feeling for months. I fantasized about other guys. I don't know why this bothered me so much, now that he had told me his side of the story. But I rationalised it. I said to myself, hey this fair. You felt like this, so does he. The thing that broke me was that he told me that I wasn't good enough for him. That triggered me so much, I spiralled downward and failed an exam. I couldn't study. I couldn't sleep. I was so sick that I stabbed myself with a knife and was sent to a psychiatrist. There, I got my bps diagnosis. Started therapy, that my ex bf found for me. Each day, from the beginning of our relationship until two weeks ago, I apologised for my and my parents behaviour, for putting him under so much turmoil and stress. I felt shame and hatred towards myself. I hated myself so much that. I was truly toxic. I hurt myself physically, beat my pets, pulled my hair, had lost the track of time... I had turned into a corpse. He was my everything, I stood against my parents and sacrificed my comfort and happiness to be with him. His voice echoes in my head, you're not enoug, you're not good enough for me.
Time passed and I somehow managed to pass atleast one Moodle. One day, my ex and I fought over a boundary he had stepped over. He told me to talk to myself or someone. And upon doing so, I realised that I wasn't the only one who brought stress and conflict into this relationship. I wrote everything he had down and the boundaries he had broken and tike that he had disrespected... It was an eye opening moment. I realised that he used manipulation to make his mistakes appear harmless and funny. He stonewalled me each time I wanted to talk about serious problems. I tried to bring awareness but he wasn't listening. He used bod diagnosis against me and said that I'm being childish and over dramatic. He kept on insisting that I was lying to him. We had discussed this matter for two years and talked about respecting boundaries for four years. That was the moment, I had to make a choice and leave him. I no longer want to be responsible for his life choices. I long for a connection with him, but with each passing day, I realise that it won't work out. I can't get over his bad habits and he doesn't try to salivate this relationship. I told him to put a hiatus/ breakup and work on ourselves on our own. We will meet eachother later along to line and see, whether we will be compatible to eachother or not. At the mean time, he can date or sleep with anyone he wants as he desired freedom. I am thankful for the good things he brought to my life, but I can't ignore the bad ones for the sake of good ones. I wonder what will happen next.
Sorry for the long ass text. But tbh this is only a fraction of things that have happened to me.

Has anyone had the issue that subluxations and injuries that aren't as severe as an actual tear or dislocation not showing up on imaging like ultra sounds and X-rays? Links to peer reviewed medical journal articles on imaging and EDS/HSD or other connective tissue disorders are welcome!
I'm thinking that baring an actual tear, our soft tissue is thin to begin with so it won't show damage unless there's an actual tear or the joint is still dislocated (not after a dislocation or sublux is put back in joint). I'm basing this on the story below and I'm open to comments about my current issue.
For the story context my mom and I have thin eye tissue. We're both finally diagnosed with hEDS

• She has had retinal tears and is blind (can still read large print with her right eye), and I had surgery for a hole in my right retina.
• In 2006 I went in to Emerg at a university teaching hospital with eye pain. This was almost two decades before we had an hEDS diagnosis.
• The attending Opthomologist put in the contrast drops that turn corneal scratches green.
• So of course my entire cornea went green. "Well I've never seen that before!" he said.
• Then he tried the eye that didn't hurt. That also went completely green
• Then ... the typical thing we hear as zebras "That's interesting! Can I bring in the medical students?" lol. He was really nice and actually listened to me so I said yes.

Current issue:
Most of my injuries and chronic issues are lower body and/or to my right side. Left side upper body is only recent. My left shoulder blade has subluxed twice from my spine in the past year.

• The first time was from having to stand for hours when I should have been sitting at a part-time job. I put so much pressure on my cane from being incredibly dizzy that the subluxation happened. (It's a long rant of a story and I'm no longer working there.)
• My awesome family doctor (PCP/GP) ordered imaging. Nothing showed up on either the X-ray (she was concerned about a hairline fracture) or the ultra sound. Yet I had hugely reduced function and was at at 7 to 9 on my pain scale most days (10 is passing out, 9 was a major car accident).
• About three weeks ago I unplugged my AC and subluxed the same joint again. Think it qualifies as a 9.5 because I did pass out on the couch about 15 minutes afterwards.
• I have a phone doctor's appointment next week followed by an in person the next day. I have an overdue script for a neck x-ray (yup that's unstable), so I'm thinking of getting my shoulder blade/back imaged as well.

I'm thinking that baring an actual tear, our soft tissue is thin to begin with so it won't show damage - just like my corneas don't, because that damage is everywhere. (Like a website with white text on an almost white background.)
I'm getting my first custom titanium wheelchair soon (the application is in the works). I know that to get any additions or changes in the future, including a SmartDrive power assist there must be a clinical justification. It's helpful to be either able to document injuries that can be seen on imaging or have a justification why those injuries can't be seen on imaging.
Any medical journal articles are welcome! I have a science degree with human anatomy and physiology with cadaver lab, plus work/life experience so I can read them.

Today, let's learn about the panda pattern in German Shepherds! Though panda German Shepherds are often thought to be mixed breeds, the panda pattern is only present in German Shepherds. Let's get into why.
HISTORY: The panda pattern was a mutation that first appeared on October 4th, 2000 when a puppy called ''Lewcinka's Franka Von Phenom'' was born. She was the only puppy out of the whole litter that had these unusual white markings and blue eyes (a picture of her will be posted in the comments). The pairing that produced her was repeated, but all of the puppies in the second litter turned out normal colored. Franka was DNA tested to see if she was mixed breed, but the results confirmed that she was indeed a purebred German Shepherd, though that is still up for debate to this day. Franka was health tested and later bred, with more panda puppies being born, meaning that panda is a dominant trait. Today, we can see pandas of different breeding paths and colors, some better and some worse, but if they truly are panda german shepherds (NOT piebald, those are 2 completely seperate and different genes), then they are all descendants of Franka.
GENETICS: Panda is a new gene and not as researched as many others, but we do know some things about it. The panda marking is a result of a dominant mutation of the KIT gene, or the CD117 gene. The panda markings are NOT caused by the S gene that causes piebald or irish spotting. The way to correctly write a panda dog's genotype is to write N/P (A non-panda dog would be N/N). No homozygous panda (P/P or double panda) puppies have ever been born as they get absorbed in the womb.
So, how does panda look and what does it do? Panda removes pigment and turns some places of the dog white. The pattern is seen mostly on the dog's paws, legs, chest, neck, and muzzle. There have been no cases of pandas who have white past their shoulder blades or on their back. If you see a German Shepherd with white on their whole body (not recessive red), it is piebald, not panda.
The panda pattern can also cause lack of pigment in a dog's eyes, making them blue, like in the case of Franka. A panda dog can have either two normal color eyes, two blue eyes, 1 blue and 1 normal color eye, or sectoral heterochromia (which causes different sectors of an individuals eyes to be different colors) in one or both eyes. Blue eyes are mostly seen in pandas with white around their eyes or white close to their eyes. Their eye color isn't caused by crossbreeding and you can see this by comparing a blue eyed panda to it's non-panda offspring. The puppy won't have blue eyes as it doesn't lack pigment.
No color related deafness has been seen in panda German Shepherds.
As panda causes white on the dog's body, you can sometimes see ticking. It can be extreme and not look white (Like in Australian Cattle Dogs) or it can be almost fully white. Ticking can't be tested for so unless your dog has white on their body, you can't know if they carry for ticking or not. All panda puppies will be born with bright white on their coats, but they might develop ticking when they're older.
Panda is a pattern that can be on any other non true white color or pattern. That means that panda dogs can be black, blue, liver, isabella, sable, saddleback, etc, and even recessive red (although it would be harder to see, especially if the dog doesn't have blue eyes).
HEALTH: There have been no color related health defects observed in panda German Shepherds.
The panda pattern itself doesn't have any health defects, but there is a controversy related to breeding pandas. Breeding a panda to a non-panda results in a 50% chance of panda puppies and 50% chance of non-panda puppies. However, breeding panda to panda results in a 25% chance of non-panda puppies, 50% chance of panda puppies, and 25% chance of double pandas, with the double panda puppies getting absorbed in the womb. This would mean that if puppies were born exactly with those odds, you'd lose 25% of the puppies before they're even born. This also means that in most panda to panda breedings, you're losing some or even all of the puppies, even if the mating was successful. Of course, this is not the same as merle to merle breeding in dogs like Border Collies where double merle puppies are often born and born with defects. And of course, as all pandas originate from a single dog, the two parents for sure are realted, closely or distantly. In any scenario, breeding panda to panda isn't worth it, even if no defected puppies can be born due to the pairing.
IN GERMAN SHEPHERDS: The biggest problem for panda German Shepherds is actually misinformation. Uneducated people claiming that pandas are mixes is nothing new (especially given Franka's pedigree), but it's also not a big concern when it comes to education about panda GSDs. The real issue is incorrect articles, posts written like fact when the information is false. A good example of that is the constant claims that ''panda is the same as piebald'' which is very, very incorrect (I will be posting about piebald GSDs next). Another issue is that due to it being relatively new in the breed, it's not very well understood.

30m and have been lurking on here since I first started twitching 7 months ago. I just wanted to share my experience, although I do fear I will be very long winded...TLDR I got really anxious, body started acting really weird, focused on physical/mental improvements, started feeling better!
I think this story will sound quite familiar for everyone on here...after a period of inactivity I began experiencing unfamiliar physical sensations that started ringing alarm bells in my head. I had lingering shoulder pain for no discernible reason that was radiating down my arm and giving tingles into my neck area. When this hung around for a couple of months, I made a visit to my GP and they paid it no mind. As it started getting worse, our old friend Dr. Google of course was telling me that this is MS. The feeling of numbness started spreading and I basically was melting down for the entire winter over this. A family friend who is a neurologist recommended finding a colleague of his locally just to check that box and move on.
As this was all peaking, I started to notice a squirming feeling in the arch of my foot, along with tightness/cramping along my entire leg. This eventually settled into pretty constant foot twitches and pain across my entire foot. I was continuing to shut down and those around me were quite aware that something was wrong with me. I agreed of course, and was insisting it was a neurological problem. They then agreed with that, and that the problem was my anxiety.
I finally had my appointment with the neurologist in February and he identified zero issues during his clinical exam. He did order an EMG on my arm due to the length of time that the shoulder issue was lingering. It was of course completely clean, and he couldn't have been less interested concerning my foot/leg. I showed him a video of my foot spasming, and he remarked "that is as relevant of a symptom to there being a major issue as your eyes being brown." He said to see an orthopedic doctor and that I won't need to see a neurologist for at least 40 years.
This offered temporary relief, and my shoulder started feeling better. But as that was happening, the twitches started spreading all over. First it moved across to my other foot, and then up my calves into my lower thigh near my knees. I started freaking out again. The foot pain was persisting, so I visited the orthopedic doctor. They couldn't really identify any sort of problem and referred me to a neurophysiologist to perform an EMG on my legs.
As I waited patiently for the month to pass until that appointment, I decided that I needed to have a mentality shift with this situation. It was time to focus on the things that I can control, which is both my physical activity and mental health. I started working with a physical therapist and also a CBT therapist. Both have been invaluable! I started seeing physical improvement and continued to push myself exercise wise. I made it a point of emphasis to walk at least 2.5 miles every day and to resume pickup basketball/golfing. I made big strides with my therapist and they ended up referring me to a psychiatrist. Eventually an SSRI was recommended and that has been a big help as well.
The EMG date came, and even though I had started feeling better, I was extremely nervous. My twitches were very wide spread (foot, calf, knee, thigh, butt, abs, neck, biceps, triceps, forearm, and hands) and still causing me distress. The EMG was completely clean with zero findings, which of course everyone predicted.
It has been a month since then, and I'm feeling the best I have physically and mentally in 2 years. I'm still twitching all over, mostly in my legs, but it has been reduced by quite a margin. I have no interest in going back to see any doctors for quite some time. This twitching stuff is so distressing at first and the periods of uncertainty/confusion are legitimately traumatizing. I just felt that it was really important to share a positive story for others that are still in that period of time.
Please feel free to reach out if you ever want to talk, and focus on improving the things that are within your control!

Lol, I thought this would be funny to write about as a first silly little post as it is the most interesting thing in my life. (Don’t mind any typos)
First of all, to anyone who wants to tell me to stop or get over it or give me any valid reasonable and rational advice,I will not listen so don’t bother.
As these stories go, I 15(f) in love with English teacher 26(f). I’m obsessed with her, and have been for almost msot 2 years, it would have been longer if she had come into my life sooner.
I’m not a love at first sight person, so it took a while for it to come about. And iv always had problems with getting violently obsessed with things, I believe it’s some kind of coping mechanism, you know? If I don’t have something to live for then I fall in love with something, subconsciously of course. First it was cartoon characters then celebrity’s and the for the first time a real person who I know in real life! (Except she’s my teacher and she’s 26) but also the first woman iv ever fallen for (iv always known Im pan so it wasn’t a shock really). I think another HUGE reason I love her is because I don’t have a mother, she was abusive, druggy, alcoholic yadi-yadi-yada, and so I don’t live with her and I don’t like her and she isn’t there for me, and so I meet a kind female adult who I look up to? Obviously I get attached and I see her as a mother figure. I really do, I want to be just like her, I want to make her proud, I seek her validation, i want to fuck her. You know, regular motherly things!
The first day I met her, first day of year 10. From the second she walked into the class I felt her energy and her vibes and I had that feeling where you instantly like someone and want to be friends with them and think they are super cool. Now, she is not hot, like Obviously to me me right now in this moment she’s the most beautiful and pretty person iv ever seen she’s so cute and hot and all that, but Obviously that’s because I’m obsessed with her everything about her is great, but she’s the kind of ugly that when she first walked into the class people snickered.
She has a rash on her chin, a noticeable moustache, she looks at least 30 despite being much younger, her eyes are creepy looking and small, her skin is really red and dry and way too textured, she does weird ugly facial expressions, she has a big nose, her hair is never brushed and always greasy, she has really small eyelashes blah blah blah.. (she obviously has some really nice features as well, but I’m trying to prove i don’t like her for her looks)
Now In her defence I think they were laughing because she has the hugest ass iv seen in my entire life, not cuz of her face. (She wears really tight leggings everyday) But, she is overweight and a lot of people bring her down cuz of it but that has nothing to do with any of it for me obviously, and I obviously didn’t laugh when she walked in.
The point is, I instantly liked her and her personality, she has that school mum vibe, she’s witty she’s confident she’s loud, she’s funny, she’s so weird (like she does and says the weirdest stuff, she’ll start dancing out of no where with no warning, she shortens words all the time and then says them three times like: “fab fab fab” she has just the weirdest tendencies and mannerisms it’s insane), shes always so exited and jolly, she’s like a ball of sunshine yet at the same time she’s so sassy and passive aggressive, when I’m older I wanna be just like her you know!
And that’s how I felt for a long time, I would just enjoy her lessons because of the energy and vibes she’d bring! She makes everything so much fun just by being there, she’s also a drama teacher so she’s great at getting a crowd going and stuff. But it seemed no one else liked her, they either fat shamed her, or said she was a bitch, or found her annoying.
They aren’t wrong she is all of those things, but she’s only a bitch to you if you don’t respect her and then she’s passive aggressive and makes your time in her class hell, and as her favourite student who kissed her ass everyday it was fun for me to watch people get roasted by her and never have to worry about it. She is annoying to a lot of people because she hypes everyone up, and she’s loud and obnoxious and confident, she laughs at her own jokes and she’s giggly and she does stupid accents, she’s the walking talking definition of “QUIRKY” and so 15 year olds find her incredibly cringey and jarring. But as an immature individual my self I found her energy like something I have never seen anyone have so i from the first day thought she was my favourite teacher ever!
I often take the role of like comic relief when it comes to my friends so I often make the joke myself, and once I felt this admiration for my English teacher, and this giddy happy feeling in me when I saw her, I thought it would be a great idea to pretend/ hint to having a crush on her to my friends as a joke so they can make fun of me. It was small things like “oh my english teacher! … oh.. I liiiiikkkee herrrrrrrr~!” Id day when people mention her, no one caught onto the joke for a couple months until one day, after a holiday I had dyed my hair and she walked past me and she complimented it, I thanked her and INSTANTLY MY HEART WAS POUNDING AND I GOT ALL GIGGLING, my friend was next to me and found it funny obviously. And then the more I went to her lessons I couldn’t stop getting all sweaty and nervous around her, and every time she’d do something cute, like squeal when she’s frustrated and make weird noises or do a fake accent, or tell a joke I’d feel so unbelievably happy, and I couldn’t stop talking and thinking about her, but Eveytime I’d think about her or look at her id get a huge ick of like.. but ewww she’s so not hot! I can NOT be in love with THAT.
By summer I was still feeling this Same way, one day she wore a dress and like the dopey idiot she is, she lifted her leg and from where I sat I saw her panties. I WAS DISGUSTED, and looked away. And then looked back.. but then looked away.. and then looked back.. and then looked away.. (and did it a couple more times) but I felt sick in my stomach the whole time! It was not a hot thing at the time.
Then the year ends and it’s the summer holiday, (now up until this point I was quite caught up with my David walliams obsession. yes the 56 year old.. and so I didn’t really care about her all that much. On the first day back, before school started I went to a birthday party and I saw her walking outside of the school, when I saw her my heat was beating so fast, i hadn’t seen her in 6 weeks and I was not expecting to see her then, I said hi to her and i couldn’t stop thinking about that moment so intensely, and every thought I had about her being ugly didn’t matter to me, it’s not like I forgot about it, I know what she looks like, but I just think everything about her is so beautiful, it’s part of her and so its perfect.
That feeling got worse and worse as the year went by, every time i see her I shake, i sweat, I have panic attack like symptoms, but I feel so happy, like manic, I am overwhelmed, I want to punch things, I want to scream.
Then we get to the part where to silence this obsession I did regrettable and wierd things that she will never know about, some of the despicable things iv done in “the name of love” for her include:
Eating her hair Licking her spit of the table Kissing her chair when she leaves the room Following her around school Drawing her Writing poems about her Writing songs about her Making edits of her Taking photos of her Recording her voice when she talks to me Stealing her trash Licking her pens Making AI chat bots with her personality Making a bingo game about her (that one is just funny, and all my friends played it too, during her lessons lol)
And many other things I won’t mention. Obviously I’m not proud of any of this, and I didn’t really need to do it, some of it I did “as a joke” for my friends, some of them I did just because I could.. but the recording her voice one is essential! Anytime we’d have a heart felt convo I’d record it so I can listen to it if I ever loose the will to live (surprisingly frequently).
Now our relationship as student and teacher was/is very good.
We’ve had some lovely moments, she told me she cared about me outside of the classroom.
A personal favourite of mine: One time she was marking my work and it was just us in the classroom and I rested my head on her shoulder as she was going through it with me, and she looked down at me and she smiled and then we stayed like that for ages while she marked my work.
All my friends said I was delusional and that she probably hates me, but she has a huge ego and i believe she likes to keep me around to give it a boost every now and then.
I wore a matching outfit with her once (on accident) and she was very happy about it
Anytime I’d ask her what I can do to improve my grade she’s say to me “oh no! But you’re doing really well! I thought you did great!”
She’d never get mad at me or shout at me for anything, if we are doing a one between two activity she’d give me the only extra sheet in the class
I asked her to sit at the front to her because I “concentrate better at the front” (i only asked cuz i wanted to sit closer to her) she gave me a sly smirk and then the next lesson she moved me to the back of the class, and also moved her self to the back of the class.
We took a selfie together and the whole time she was giggling, I gave her a Christmas card, she lets me follow her around the school, she gave my friends dirty looks when they were being mean to me
I sent her stupid emails of pictures of capybaras (it was an inside joke between us) and she responded with a way to enthusiastic response for such a simple image lol!
I sand “you belong with me” by TS and she stood in the crown and when it got to the “you belong with me” bit I pointed at her and she pointed back! Singing the words back to me
Oh, and let us not forget the amount of eye contact. I never look people in the eye, one of my first exes I barely ever looked into their eyes all the time I knew them, I just suck at eye contact. Until I met her, since I’m so insecure about her forgetting me or loosing me or something I often stare at her when she’s teaching to make sure that she doesn’t forget me. And some how in the last couple of months she stares at me as well.
Anytime she tells a joke she looks straight at me to see how I respond (always with giggles even when it’s the lamest thing iv ever heard. It’s often not funny at all.) and the entire time shes teaching the lessons I will stare at her. IN HER EYES. Like, I’ll often smile calmly, but if she hasn’t looked at me in like 4 minutes then I’ll stare deeper, but she usually looks into my eyes and hold it for a while sometimes she’ll even smile at me and then stutter and forget what she’s saying before looking away and continuing. She’ll stare deeply into my eyes, throughout the lesson, and I also always catch her looking at me first.
Once she was helping me with my work, she got really close to me, and she stared into my eyes and then I see her getting small glances at my lips (with this one I may be a little delusional) she leaned in and she kept getting confused. Like, she yaps a lot, and a lot very loudly. So it was odd for her to be standing there her arm touching mine talking to me and being like “…. Um-.. heh-.. where was i..” and she flicks through my paper and then looks back at me and goes silent and then swallows and then looks down and then flips through it again and then says something small and short followed by more silence.
I also have a theory shes on drugs, for many reasons but one time I needed her to take a photo of my book, and she was acting so weird, tired but like really like dizzy and loopy and breathless. And she went to take a photo of my book, and got behind me and she leaned into my book, and I felt her heavy loud breath on my neck as her stray hairs were tickling the side of my face and her shoulder was touching my back, she she just stood there and stared at my book for ages until i was like “um so.. you can.. take a photo or something..” and then she slowly did it hahahaha!
Obviously it’s now exam time and so school is basically over and I have no more lessons, so I didn’t go into depth about how much she means to me as a person but to sum it up into one sentence; I would want to seriously kill my self with out her in my life.
And so the thing I had been fearing for so long, the last English lesson, the last time seeing my dear beloved. Well obviously it’s life or death so I have to tell her how I feel and get her to stay in contact with me.
The last lesson ends I go up to her after a morning of: pissing my self, shitting my self, throwing up in my mouth, constantly putting on perfume, checking my hair and chewing the mintiest of gums. And I start my speech, I won’t go into it but I told her how I felt about her (minus the being in love bit I played it off as platonic duh, im not fully stupid).
I told her that she means so much to me, and she’s (one of) my favourite people in the world (that’s a white lie she’s my only favourite) I can’t go on with out her, I need her, iv felt this way since the first lesson, your so fun, you mean so much to me! I cant loose you, I don’t know what I would do with out you!!!!
I cried in her arms as she hugged me! And i didnt even need to ask she suggested we could stay in contact, in-fact all i had said was “I’ll miss you so much :(“ and she already suggested we stay in contact, but Obviosuly I still did the whole speech cuz at some point she needed to know. Her response was basically that she already knew, but she was very pleased to hear it, and everything is going to be perfectly okay.
She said we can stay in contact (through email, cuz apparently there is a “legal thing unfortunately” stopping her from giving me her number (yes I did ask for her number, but in a total no homo way.)
She said I can talk to her anytime about anything as much as I like, and that’s good enough for me!
I also gave her a drawing I did of her and me together which was cute, her response to that was “oh very cool! she walks over. she takes it in her hands, very excited to see it. This really throws her confidence off, she’s really not expecting this. OH THIS IS AMAIZING! her voice cracks THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! this is lovely! thank you, this is soo good! oh-muh-gud it’s SO good! oww I love it! thank you.. I’m wearing the same top as well, how fun~.. HOW FUN!!!! how fun!! … she takes it and puts it in her bag i will prop this up, on my desk! wicked wicked awesome!” (I recorded her reaction so that’s how you know it’s word for word)
In conclusion, im creepily obsessed and its a problem, but I don’t really regret anything cuz it’s all gotten me to this point where I can talk to her when ever I want and that’s all I could ever ask her. Yes I want to fuck her, but that’s not important to me I just need her in my life, she’s my world she’s my reason of living, and I’m so happy things are this way! I’m doing my exams now so I get to see her everyday when I come into school (by see her I mean wait outside the staff room so I can catch a glimpse of her knee). I’m also glad I’m not in her lessons anymore cuz I’d always get so twitchy around her, anytime she’d be near me and I’d be trying my best not to lunge at her, when I see her my mouth waters I just wanna grab her and kiss her all over! Eeek! She’s adorableeeee!
I love herrrrr ❤️❤️❤️

Hi all, I've been living with a slowly degenerating C4-C6 for many years now (I'm currently 62 woman in California) and am just now considering ACDF 2 level surgery. The muscle pain in my shoulders and neck have gotten significantly worse over the past 6 months. I can't sleep on either side any more (even with many strategically placed pillow). Nerve pain on my right side is there but not debilitating (traction helps). My question is for those of you who have had this surgery....did you experience adjacent muscle pain previously and did the surgery help with this? Surgeon thinks it will help but of course can't give me any guarantees. TIA!