i know and understand that item songs are problematic and having a bunch of creepy men oggle you as you do thumkas is very objectifying as are the navel/boob/hip close ups BUTTTT theyre so fun and catchy???? i am a woman and i grew up watching Katrina Kaif look hot as hell while dancing and this current generation has not given us one decent song (nadiyon par DOES NOT COUNT) or a good performedancer (nora fatehi does not count, she's a good dancer but lacks the wow factor)
there is such a dearth of good item songs. i say item songs bc i feel like dance numbers are still being made, we now no longer see women centric songs where its just one woman doing all the dancing while others swoon over her. now i know currently no one has the charisma to pull that off 🤡 no one be Madhuri, Sridevi or Aishwarya or even Kareena, PC, Katrina, Deepika but like ??? are we just never going to see a sexy talented woman dance her boots off again??? are there not going to be any iconic songs??? 😭😭
songs like ek do teen, sheila ki jawani, fevicol se, chikni chameli, munni badnam hui etc are played at every wedding/annual day/funeral/bday party etc and theyre iconic,, but will we just keep playing these until the end of times bc no good bangers are coming out now???
and honestly if they are worried about "feminist backlash" or whatever, its as simple as getting rid of those creepy male background people and replacing them with other dancers, avoiding excessive close ups and making the lyrics more flirty than outright weird and vulgar
what do you guys think???

First / Patreon (Read 5 Chapters Ahead)

AKA: Ain’t Nothing but a Horndog
–
Private Owens let out another tired sigh as he sat there, his head held in his hands. After the incident with Petra, he’d been forcibly confined to his room, pending further disciplinary action. It didn’t take a genius to figure out exactly how he was going to be disciplined; at best, he figured he’d be getting a court martial. At worst, they’d probably just throw him out the airlock or something.
Harsh, to be sure, but if he’d actually succeeded in inadvertently costing humanity their spot as a central player on the galactic stage, then no punishment was truly out of the question. Hell, Major Barnes had talked about having him drawn and quartered, and if he truly had fucked up that monumentally bad, then it wasn’t even out of the question.
“Way to go, idiot…” Owens muttered to himself. “All this because you couldn’t stay away from the booze or keep it in your pants for a night…”
He let out yet another sigh of despondency, bringing a hand up to brush through his auburn-colored hair. He’d just had it cut short, which was a good thing, because it meant that he’d actually look presentable at his soon-to-be funeral.
Assuming Major Barnes let him keep his head, of course.
Just as that thought crossed his mind, the door to his quarters opened. Owens looked up, and was not surprised to see Major Barnes and Captain Johnson standing there. Somehow, they looked even more imposing than usual, which was odd given that Major Barnes was from Texas and built like the bulls he used to ride, while Captain Johnson was a former MMA fighter.
That was to say that if there were any two people the higher-ups would have sent to beat him to death with their bare hands, it’d be these two, to say nothing of the fact that they’d probably outright requested it given what he’d done.
Assuming they weren’t about to lead him to Captain Ulfur or something, of course. Couldn’t exactly discount that as a possibility, either.
“Alright, on your feet,” Major Barnes announced.
Private Owens blinked. “Sir?”
“I said, on your feet. Are you going to make me repeat myself again?”
“N-no, Sir.” Owens scrambled to his feet. He stood there at attention, doing his best not to start sweating bullets as Major Barnes leaned in to examine him, one hand on his chin.
“Hm…”
“Sir?”
The two of them locked eyes, Barnes’ set of brown staring into Owens’ green. And despite his best efforts, Owens couldn’t help but begin sweating then and there. Captain Johnson shifted a bit out of the corner of his eye, but Owens didn’t dare look over to him; experience had taught him that, much like a T-Rex, the Major’s vision was based on movement. This wasn’t to imply that he could only see things when they moved, but rather that moving was a good way to draw attention to oneself, in the same way that the squeaky wheel tended to get the grease.
To put it simply: predators enjoy it greatly when their prey tries to struggle. And at this moment in time, Owens was nothing if not the juiciest piece of prey available to his commanding officers on the whole station.
The seconds ticked by. Owens dared not count them, both because he didn’t want to press his luck and because he dreaded finding out how short eternity actually was. Finally, after those few agonizingly slow seconds passed, Major Barnes took a step back and let his hand fall from his chin, then clasped his arms behind his back.
“You have no idea how fucking lucky you are, Marine.”
Owens stiffened. “Sir?”
Major Barnes let out a tired sigh, then turned to Captain Johnson. “Smoking is still banned on this station, right?”
“It is outside of the dedicated smoking zones,” Johnson replied. “It upsets the Vuks’ sense of smell.”
“Damn… what about drinking?”
“Allowable outside of working hours, but I’d like to remind you that alcohol is what got us into this mess in the first place.”
“Ah, yes.” Major Barnes turned back towards Owens, his eyes narrowing. “Now, Private – perhaps you’d care to answer a question for me?”
“O-of course, Sir,” Owens stammered out.
“What in the hell made you think Jack Daniels was your friend?”
Owens felt a chill go down his spine. “Uh, Sir?”
“Stop phrasing my title like a question, please. Answer the question.”
Owens hesitated. Thankfully, Captain Johnson came to his rescue.
“Actually, if I remember right, the bartender said he was ordering Captain Morgan and tequila.”
Barnes let out a low whistle. “Damn, for real? What were you thinking, Private? You know rum and tequila don’t mix.”
“Apparently, he hasn’t heard how racist Captain Morgan is – everyone knows the Captain hates Mexicans.”
“U-um…” Private Owens said. “...Is this you both smoking me out?”
“Of course not, Private,” Major Barnes instantly replied. “After all, we’re not in a smoking area, remember?”
Private Owens wasn’t sure if the Major was trying to be dangerously sarcastic or if that was a genuine attempt at levity. In either case, he thought it best to stay silent. Finally, after a few more seconds had passed, Major Barnes shook his head.
“I mentioned earlier that you were lucky,” he said. “Hell, you’re probably the luckiest man alive. Possibly the luckiest man in history. Do you know why that is?”
“Because I’m not dead yet?”
“Partially, but no. No, you’re the luckiest man alive because, in spite of you making a drunken ass of yourself and banging their head diplomat, the Vuk voted to allow us into the Council, after all.”
Private Owens couldn’t help but sputter in surprise at that news. He took a moment to recover, then turned back towards the Major, surprise etched across his face. “You’re serious?” After a moment, he added, “Sir?”
“Oh, I’m very serious,” Major Barnes confirmed with a nod. “See how lucky you are, Private? Not only did you get laid, but you also somehow didn’t completely fuck everything up for our entire species, which means that I very unfortunately don’t get to space you.”
Private Owens hesitated. Next to him, Captain Johnson crossed his arms. “Breathe, Private. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
Owens did as he was told, sucking in a deep breath of air before exhaling it. Once he had taken a breath to calm himself, he opened his eyes again, once more staring at Major Barnes.
“So, if you don’t mind me asking, Sir… what happens now?”
“Good question,” Barnes replied. “Well, given that you might have actually done all of humanity a huge solid by sleeping with Petra, there’s not really much I can do to actually punish you. I mean, I could, but that’d reflect pretty badly on me, and if there’s one thing I care about, it’s my service record.”
“Immaculate service record,” Captain Johnson amended. “Downright radiant, really.”
“Exactly. And it’d really suck to mar it by having to write a young Marine for something like this, especially since it’s very possible that the only reason Petra voted yes was because the sex was so good.”
Private Barnes flushed red. “U-um… thanks, Sir. I think.”
“Don’t be so modest, Private – you know women talk. Well, word’s apparently gotten around, and now a fair few of the Vuk women are very curious about how the human mouth works. But that’s neither here nor there; the point is, we’re at a bit of an impasse. I can’t exactly smoke you for this, even though I really want to. But at the same time, I can’t just let you off the hook, either.”
“So… what do you plan to do with me, Sir?”
Major Barnes cracked a wide, wicked-looking grin. A chill went down Owens’ spine at the sight of it.
“Why, it’s simple, Private,” Barnes began, “in this situation, I think it only fitting that I throw you to the wolves… or, in this case, the devil dogs.”
Owens didn’t even have time to beg for mercy before Captain Johnson grabbed him and muscled him out the door, over to the barracks where the rest of his platoon was staying.
–
It wasn’t a surprise to Owens when they opened the door to the barracks and roughly shoved him inside, then closed it back up and locked it. He scrabbled at the door in vain for a moment before pausing and turning around.
His entire platoon was there, because of course they were.
Owens froze at the sight of them. Getting smoked by the Major and the Captain was bad enough, but that was nothing compared to the absolute fucking firestorm that was headed his way from the rest of the platoon. Slowly, he raised a hand.
“Uh, hey, guys,” he offered.
For a moment, nobody said or did anything. It was deathly silent in the barracks. But then, it happened.
Someone started the slow clap.
It began as just one person, but rapidly grew to two, and then three, and then all of a sudden, they were all doing it. And as they clapped, they were shouting at him, or rather, they were chanting – one simple word, which ordinarily wouldn’t have had much meaning, but with the way they were saying it, Owens just knew it was going to haunt him until he was discharged.
And that word was…
“Horn-Dog! Horn-Dog! Horn-Dog!”
Owens cringed as the word reached his ears. Unfortunately, that did nothing to actually block it out, and it only got worse when everyone in the platoon came up, still chanting, and took turns slapping him on the back.
And, naturally, the questions followed shortly thereafter.
“What was it like?”
“Was it as good as she’s making it sound?”
“Are you really that good with your tongue?”
“What’s it like being an actual furry?”
“Guys!” Owens finally blurted out, having had enough. “Look, I’ve… I’ve had a bit of a long day, you know? So can I at least take a seat before you start bombarding me with questions?”
The platoon fell silent at that. Owens breathed a sigh of relief, then began to stride through them; they parted like the Red Sea as he walked.
“Carefully,” one of them said, “he’s a hero.”
Owens flipped that guy off without even looking back. Finally, he reached his bunk and took a seat on it, then breathed a sigh of relief.
And the moment he was settled, the platoon was surrounding him once more, eager for him to answer their questions. Owens took a breath.
“Let me get one thing perfectly straight,” he said, “I don’t kiss and tell.”
“Dude, come the fuck on,” one of the men, Corporal Ramirez, protested. “You realize that she’s been telling her people about it, right?”
“For real, man,” Sergeant Douglas agreed with a nod. “Some of the Vuk females have been eye-fucking us ever since.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, I’m serious. Apparently, that tongue do be putting in the work.”
Owens’ brow furrowed. “That’s nasty, dude.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? You did it, not me! I’m just reporting some of the shit that’s been happening ever since you fucking gave Lassie the ol’ in-out.”
“First of all, don’t talk about her that way,” Owens warned. “I get that you’re just joking, but she’s still a diplomat, as well as the reason we’re even having this conversation right now. And not in that way!” He hurriedly added when he saw several of the men about to say something. “She was the deciding vote. If it weren’t for her coming through for us, we’d have been fucked.”
Corporal Ramirez hesitated, but only for a moment. “I mean-”
“Dude, don’t.”
“I’m just saying-”
“I am seriously begging you not to say it.”
Ramirez paused, but eventually, his baser instincts won out. “...She definitely did come through for us, and at least one of us was definitely fucked.”
Owens closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath before opening them again. “...Just for that, I’m not gonna tell you all what it was like.”
“Dude, come on,” Sergeant Douglas protested. “You’re really gonna do us like this? You’re gonna just fucking Captain Kirk it up and then refuse to talk about it?”
“Yes, I-” Owens paused. “...Captain Kirk?”
“Yeah.”
“Really?”
“Hey, you’re the first human to actually fuck an alien, at least as far as anyone knows. It fits.”
“No, no, I’m not complaining, it’s just… I can’t be Shepard?”
“The fuck you talking about? You’re no Shepherd, that’s for sure.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because you couldn’t keep the wolf away.” Owens glared at him and Douglas just rolled his eyes. “Come on, Horndog, you’re just teeing these things up for me at this point. I can go all night.”
“Shame he couldn’t,” Ramirez added. “Or did he only stop because he got caught?”
“That’s a fair question, actually. Horndog, be honest – if you hadn’t been caught, would there have been another round?”
“How many rounds were there, anyway?” one of the other Marines asked.
“Do you think she’d have wanted breakfast afterwards?” another added. “Makes me wonder… do you think the Vuk prefer waffles, or pancakes?”
“I dunno, man. They seem pretty partial to creampies, if you ask me.”
“Guys!” Owens shouted, cutting them all off. He grit his teeth for a moment, but then let out another exhale. “...It probably goes without saying, but I am very, very, ridiculously tired right now. I’m very thirsty and I haven’t had anything to eat in a long-ass time.”
Ramirez opened his mouth to say something.
“Ramirez, if you say what I know you’re going to say, I will seriously fucking Code Red you by myself.”
Ramirez closed his mouth and said nothing.
Owens let out yet another exhale. “Look, fellas – let me just get some sleep, and then I’ll tell you as much as I can about it without it being disrespectful to her. Okay?”
“Sure, man, whatever you say,” Douglas offered.
“Thanks, guys.”
With that, Owens laid down in his bunk and closed his eyes, doing his best to enjoy the silence.
It lasted for all of five seconds before someone broke it.
“So, was this technically bestiality?”
Owens threw a blind punch, and just like that, the entire barracks erupted into chaos.

Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, Ickbard, for the help with writing this story.

To start this story off, I suppose it's best to talk a little bit about myself and my experience in the TTRPG space. I've been an avid TTRPG enthusiast for almost two decades now. Yes, I'm a bit of an old hat/old fogey. I started my enjoyment of the hobby with Pathfinder 1st edition, eventually transferring over to DnD 5e when it first arrived on the scene, mostly because it was the new hotness, but I ultimately found that it was better suited for the type of games that I enjoy running at my table. While I very adamantly enjoy the structure that a game's mechanical rules bring to the table, 5e provided a rules system that wasn't invasive, and so me and my friends were able to focus on the things about the game that we enjoyed the most - the roleplaying, the storytelling, and (most importantly) the fun.
Many years would go by, as well as a couple of what I would consider to be successful campaigns - basically anything that managed to survive longer than 3 months. Scheduling, right? I digress. Eventually, I arrived at a point where my current circle of friends and I were itching to play a new campaign, and for the shits and giggles of it we decided we would livestream it on Twitch. At the time, we had managed to get affiliated on Twitch, and one or two of us would occasionally have a couple of viewers pop in when we were streaming whatever video game we were playing, and we figured it would be fun to do the same thing with our next campaign. So we did. As you might expect, nothing really ever came out of it. We were just doing it for fun. The campaign only lasted about 3 months or so, and we never set out with the expectation that what we were releasing into the world was anything amazing - we were just four normal dudes having fun playing a game we enjoyed, and if you happened to find yourself on our Twitch channel to see it, awesome! If not, cool. We weren't doing it for you.
So, yeah, that campaign eventually fell off, and we would eventually return to just streaming whatever video game excited us. One of friends got married, and had a kid, and was too busy for DnD. Another friend got a new job, and his schedule just didn't give him the time. Hell, even I managed to land a pretty decent job at the time, and I struggled to make time for our weekly video game nights, but I managed. But ever since that streamed campaign had ended, I had an itch in the back of my mind that I really wanted to scratch. I thoroughly enjoyed everything about livestreaming our campaign. Sure, it was nothing to write home about, but I fell in love with the showmanship of it all. Maybe it was because of the thought of the potential for someone to eventually watch it, but whenever we would stream, I would get in the zone and pretend I was putting on a show for thousands (even though we may have only ever had three or four viewers at max). Basically, I had fallen in love with the idea of putting on a show for others, and I knew I would jump at the chance to do it again in the future. Enter Wayne.
A little over a year ago (at the time of this posting), I was perusing through the /LFG subreddit and not looking for anything in particular, when I stumbled across a post that checked off all the boxes.
I don't like to admit that I'm picky, but that fact that this sub exists should give credence to that fact that one should, at the very least, have a criteria when looking for games to invest yourself in when looking at advertisements. And if my little backstory above should inform you, there were a number of things on my checklist that this post had. For starters, it was longer than a few sentences. Clearly, the person who posted this was meticulous about what they wanted and what they didn't want (I would learn, much later on, that Wayne was not the one who wrote the post, but one of his players). Secondly, the post was very adamant about what was of paramount importance at the table - rich and compelling narratives, deep exploration of characters, and a passion for roleplay. And thirdly, the plan was to turn this into a "production". The post even included a promo video of respectable quality. Clearly, the people involved with this had a plan, much more of a plan than my friends and I had when we streamed. And, I considered myself a pretty decent roleplayer, so I applied. They were only looking for 1 applicant, but I figured I had a decent shot, with my previous livestreaming experience, and the fact that I already owned a (what some would call excessive) microphone and camera. So I shot my shot. If I didn't get picked, no biggie, life goes on. But when I received a discord invite and told that I had made it to the second round of the application process, I was ecstatic.
It is around here that I should introduce you to our cast of characters (names have been changed, of course:

• There is, of course, me, Dave - a guy who fundamentally believes that fun and safety at a table supersedes everything else, who happens to really enjoy hamming it up in character, and telling exciting stories.
  
• Ava - an already confirmed player at the table, with a past experience of playing with Wayne. I would come to find out that Ava was the one who had written the LFG post. Ava was also in charge of Discord moderation, and the second round interview process. She has her own story, which I will allude to here, but is ultimately hers to share.
  
• Jelly - Wayne's significant other. Jelly was supposedly not involved with the upcoming campaign at all, but had a presence on the Discord, and have previously played in Wayne's campaigns.
  Seth - another already confirmed player at the table. Admittedly, Seth plays a minor role in the story, but his inclusion is necessary.
  
  • and Wayne - the lead character of our story. The DM of the upcoming campaign. The visionary. The guy who plans to have the next big thing in the TTRPG actual play space.

There are at least a half dozen other individuals involved in this story, but ultimately play very minor roles. If at some point while I am writing this one of them pop up, I will update the list above to include them.
Back to the story. I was ecstatic to find out I had been selected for an Discord interview and scheduled it at my earliest convenience. This is where I first meet Ava. To be honest, I don't recall much about the interview, but I remember it being pretty standard and what I was expecting an interview to be. Mostly it was just going into detail about some of the stuff I had included in my primary application and talking about expectations and goals. I was told that after the Discord interview, the next step would be a participation in a practice one shot, to get a feel for how I would play at the table. After the interview was over, Wayne hopped into the voice channel, and this would be when I would meet the man, the legend.
I pride myself on being very good at reading people. I can usually pick up on when someone is trying to sell me something, pretty quickly. I tend to over analyze words and expression looking for intent. I have been gaslit and manipulated several times in my past by people very close to me, and so I have developed this defense when meeting people for the first time. Very rarely do I take someone at their word, or completely buy what they are selling when I hardly know them, and even less so to a complete stranger. In this case, when meeting Wayne for the first time, my defenses failed me.
Perhaps it was because it had been over a year since I last ran a campaign. Perhaps it was because it had been even longer than that that I actually got to be a player in a campaign. Perhaps it was because of that itch of wanting to perform again for an audience. Or, perhaps, it was because Wayne was very good at pitching his plans. Whatever the reason, my first impression of Wayne was that this was a guy who had a plan, and had the means to enact that plan, and I wanted to be a part of it in any way that I could.
Wayne, you see, had two big passions in life. The first was DnD. The second, as he would admit, was being an entrepreneur. He owned his own business in New York City. One of several ventures he had pursued, and it afforded him a premium NYC apartment and the time and luxury to spend on his second passion - playing DnD. And so, he thought, why not marry these two passions together? He had a great head for business. And according to him, the last campaign he had run was fantastic. So fantastic, he thought, that surely other people would enjoy listening to it. And so he hatched a plan - he would use his business knowledge and savvy to launch a Youtube channel that would be home to his next great campaign. But he had the foresight, at least, to know of just how saturated the DnD actual play space has become in recent years. If he wanted to be successful at this venture, he would have to stand out from the rest. And he had a solution to that. He wasn't going to put out just any old DnD actual play. He was going to create "DnD Cinema".
To do that, he said, he needed the right people that share in the same core philosophies that he had. Namely, a "pretentious level of hyperfixation on roleplaying and narrative storytelling". Most other actual plays, to him, were playing "beer and pretzels" DnD. You know, the type of game were you sit around with your friends having a good time and a laugh, where you might spend five minutes on an out of character joke, etc. Shit like that wasn't going to fly in this campaign. When you came to the table, you were going to be in character from start to finish. And recording sessions were going to be seven hours long. Could I handle that?
And I admit that I told him I could. Like I said, he had a way with words. He was clearly passionate about it. And he talked a good talk. And he was friendly enough. So he said he would be in touch. And the wait began.
Over the course of the next month or so, I would come to become friends with Ava and Wayne. We would hop into Discord and play games, talk about the upcoming campaign, etc. It was going to be several months before the campaign actually began recording, and so Wayne was still conducting the interview process while also working on worldbuilding for the campaign. He was also spending over $3000 dollars commissioning an animated table for the youtube video. This was clearly something he was very proud of, as he took every and all opportunity to talk about how amazing and innovative it was going to be.
You see, in Wayne's vision of "DnD cinema", the videos that would be put up on youtube would not include the faces of the players. Or battlemaps. Instead, it would be animated table that he could manipulate in editing at various cue points. It would feature portraits of the characters that would light up when they speak. It was the next big thing in the TTRPG space - a (frankly) audio only experience that was accentuated with the occasional fancy animation that cost thousands of dollars. No one else was doing it, he would say, and that would help him stand out even more.
It was also during these more innocent days that I would come to understand Wayne's obsession with Brennan Lee Mulligan. He idolized the guy. In fact, he would brag on multiple occasions that his significant other's job had her 3 or 4 degrees removed from Brennan - basically, she worked for someone who worked for someone who was involved with the Dungeons and Drag Queens season of Dimension 20, and he would often mention how he was hoping to use that connection to someday have a sit down and meet and greet with BLeeM himself. As time would go on, I would eventually find out that Wayne actually considered Brennan Lee Mulligan as his competition.
About a month would past before I would hear anything about my application. I never brought it up during our gaming sessions, as another core tenet of mine is that I don't want my friendship or acquaintance with someone to give me an edge over other candidates. I want my experience and what I bring to the table to stand on its own merit. This will come up later in our story. Eventually, I would get a message from Wayne asking me if I would be interested in participating in a try out one shot for the campaign. Apparently, he had completely forgotten that I had applied, and wanted to schedule in a last minute try out for me. My fellow players during the one shot would be Ava, some other member of the discord community, and Jelly.
I'll be honest, the one shot was nothing to write home about. And even Wayne would admit it was something he threw together last minute so that he could say I had my chance. I immediately found Ava to be a fantastic scene partner, and even for a one shot, put the time and effort into her character and actions. Jelly, on the other hand, was not that good. To be fair to Jelly, my criteria for grading her performance was strictly on the curve that Wayne himself said he was grading people on. I found her to be a very selfish player, who failed to pick up on narrative cues, and was solely focused on her time in the spotlight. But it was a trial one shot that didn't mean anything. My biggest take away from Jelly was that she was a player that I would not enjoy playing with in the future, and that I wouldn't seek out as a player at a table that I was DMing for. Not horror story bad (yet), but not good. Average.
When the application process was done, it would eventually come down to two choices. I was one. Wayne loved my southern twang, and thought it would sound good in a production. And we had become friends. The other was someone with a theater and acting background, who had been to Julliard. I was not selected. And I was okay with that. The decision did not impact my friendship with either Ava or Wayne, and we continued to hang out and play games together. I then learned of Wayne's new plan.
In the original posting ad for the campaign, it had been mentioned that a possibility for guest character appearing in the campaign could happen. The original idea was that, as members of the Discord community would play in one shots, Wayne would then be able to invite stand out performance to appear in an episode or two of the new campaign, as a gift to the community and to give those players a chance to play in a campaign with other players of similar caliber. This all changed as the months got closer to release date. The idea for guests at the table changed completely. Instead, Wayne's plan was to use the guest spots at the table as a networking opportunity. Don't forget - Wayne is an entrepreneur. This was a business venture for him, and successful businesses need to show growth. And he wanted to achieve growth at an accelerated pace. The plan was simple - as the channel grew, Wayne would scour the internet for similar channels with slightly higher subscriber count than his. Well, I say Wayne would do this. Wayne would actually pawn this off on to someone else. A tangent that I will perhaps need to touch on later in this story - Wayne was very good at finding ways of pawning off work on to others, and then taking the credit. He very much believe himself to be a manager, and other members of the Discord that showed any interest in the success of this venture as his employees. He would then engage in communications with these other channels in the hopes of achieving some Quid Pro Quo. You send someone to be a guest on our channel for a few episodes, and we'll shout you out. In return, he would send someone from his channel to theirs, and get a shout out in return. Something to note here - all of this was done without ever including his players in the discussion. He was offering them up to strangers without even asking if they even wanted to do that.
Time passes, and eventually recording for the campaign begins. It would be about two months into recording when Wayne approached me about being the first guest character. (At this point, I had been an active member of the Discord community for over six months now). He wanted me to be the first guest character for two reasons. The first was because I was familiar, and he wanted to test out the format before bringing in strangers. The second was because of my prior livestreaming experience. I was a part of an affiliated Twitch channel that met the criteria of having a slightly higher subscriber count than his. But for the most part, our old Twitch channel was dead. Sure, we still streamed games into the void, but there was practically no engagement. And I told him so when he asked me if I wanted to be introduced as someone from that Twitch channel. I was more involved in his community as that point, anyway. And so, I finally got what I was wanting - to sit down and play quality DnD with like minded individuals for the purposes of entertaining others.
At this point, only a handful of episodes had aired. The recording schedule had them a grace period of a month or so before release, and I admittedly hadn't watched them. Honestly, I wasn't that interested. I don't know if that's bad or not. There are a lot of actual plays out there of varying quality. And each one requires a lot of time commitment to watch. Already I was regularly watching Critical Roll, and I was having a hard time to find time to watch some of the other really good shows I was enjoying, like Dimension 20 and The Glass Cannon. On top of that, it was an game that I wasn't a part of, so yeah, I admit I hadn't watch any of it. But even if I had, it wouldn't have prepared me for what playing at the table was actually like. The released episodes were highly edited, with sound effects and music. It wasn't until I became actually involved at the table that I would find out just how manufactured the game actually was. And I use the word "game" very generously.
For starters, once recording began, all out of character talk and banter was immediately and explicitly forbidden. We were to remain in character at all times. Secondly, I would find out that Wayne had developed a "formula for success" in regards to time spent recording. No scene would ever last longer than ten minutes. If players spent too much time having their characters engaging with each other and the time elapsed, we were moving on the next scene, regardless of if it was a natural conclusion or not. Speaking of the characters, I would come to learn that the characters that the player brought to this campaign were secondary to the story that Wayne wanted to tell. "This campaign isn't character focused, it's story focused" he would say. The campaign simply did not have time for that. I don't like to toss out the word "railroaded" very often, but it quickly became apparent that there was a good bit of railroading being done here. The only character decisions or choices or conversations that would ever make it to the final cut were ones that provided what he thought would be the most interesting while pushing his narrative forward. And for a DnD game, there wasn't a whole lot of game being done here. Sure, the players had character sheets, and classes, but it was all superficial. Combat was a rarity on the level of a shiny Pokemon. I think mostly because Wayne didn't find combat narratively compelling. But in that case, I have to ask, why use DnD as your game system? If all you want to do is roll clicky dice and improv, there are much better systems out there. And speaking of the dice - I'm sad to say that in most cases they were superfluous, as well. The only real purpose the dice served to Wayne was when they could be used to clip epic moments of success or failure. A natural 20 or a natural 1 was gold for him, because then he could clip it into a Youtube or Tiktok Short and grow those subscriber numbers. For a game in which "every decision hung on the roll of a dice", there weren't a lot of dice rolls, there weren't a lot of decisions, and when there were decisions, most of the time, the outcome was predetermined by Wayne. Everything Wayne did in regards to this game was in service to growing his Youtube channel. And the sad part? It worked.
In a shockingly short amount of time, Wayne was able to grow his Youtube channel from just over a 100 subscribers to over a 1000. This was mostly done by his excessive push of Youtube and Tiktok shorts. For a short period of time, I was deemed trustworthy enough to have access to the Youtube channel's admin, and I could view the statistics. The turnover rate for shorts into actual video views was miniscule. Only a tiny fraction were tuning in for the actual show. At this point, he had just become a Youtube Shorts creator.
And I want to mention at this point - I understand and respect the hustle. The world of Youtube is a dog eat dog world, and you have to have to play the game to stay in the game - I get it. I don't have any issue with being proud of what you've created, and pushing it out to people. I really don't. My issue was with how deceptive Wayne was being with it. And how deceptive he was, in general, as I would come to find out.
You see, before the inaugural campaign had even launched, Wayne approached me one day to see if I would be interested in running a campaign on his channel, as I had experience before in it, and had expressed an interest in doing it again. And I will admit, I was excited about the prospect. But before my words of "Yeah, I'd love to talk about" even had a chance to dissipate into the ether, Jelly would hop into the channel, in the middle of the discussion to say, "You know who should run a campaign? Seth." And then immediately log off.
I don't have a lot to say about Seth. I think he is an amazing, caring, friendly guy. He also happens to be an incredible roleplayer and storyteller, and his character is Wayne's campaign is truly phenomenal. I envy how easy it is for Seth to get into and portray the wide arrange of emotions of a character. He also happens to be a great GM. I understand why Jelly would suggest him to run a campaign. What I didn't understand, at the time, were her motives. Wayne, Ava, Jelly, and Seth had all played in a previous campaign together, and Wayne and Jelly had become enamored by just how good Seth was. And even prior to that, Ava and Seth had a past campaign together. Jelly wanted to be a player in a Seth run campaign. And if Wayne was going to have a second campaign on the channel, she wanted it to be Seth's, and she wanted to be a player in it.
And so, immediately, any and all discussion about me running a campaign was ceased, and the legwork was put forth for Seth to run a campaign. Wayne would approach him about it, and he was interested. Seth would already have in mind the players that he wanted for it - two friends of his from outside the server, Ava, and another player from the Wayne campaign. Noticeably missing from that list - Jelly.
Strangely, Wayne would then tell Seth that if he was going to run a campaign on the channel, he would have to have an application process for the players, and open it up so that anyone could apply. After Seth had already stated he already had players in mind - players who already said yes. I don't know about you, but as a DM, I would never let someone dictate to me who I could have at my table. If I have players in mind already, it's because I have a reason. But Wayne demanded an application process be followed, and a second LFG post would appear in LFG for the Seth run campaign - that was noticeably advertising for 4 players. After Seth had chosen his players. The advertisement came with another well edited and narrated youtube promo that was, and still is, the highest viewed video on the channel. And all of it was a sham. Which I knew it was. And I confronted Wayne about it. It was then that I learned some unsavory backstory involving Ava and Jelly and the prior campaign. That is not my story to tell. I have shared my accounts of events with Ava, and she is considering posting an account from her perspective following this. The most I am willing to say on this is that involves situations that should never be okay at a DnD table, and that Wayne would gloss over and sugarcoat these situations as no big deal. It would lead to Ava not being comfortable with being at a table with Jelly which both I, and Seth, would understand.
Wayne, however, found this to be unfair and manipulative on Ava's part. Those past incidents should have had no bearing on Jelly's consideration for the Seth run campaign. Which is why he would demand an application process. He would then confide to me when I questioned the duplicity of the LFG advertisement that it wasn't completely misleading. There would still be someone chosen from the list of applicants - because he was going to make sure that Ava wasn't part of the campaign. After Seth had already told both Wayne and her that she was. After the players for that game had already come together for a session zero. He claimed that Ava had prior incidents of being difficult to work with, and that because he wasn't involved in the campaign, he couldn't be there to handle any situations that might arise of conflicts between players at the table. At the time I thought that was an odd statement to make - if you are trusting enough of another person, like Seth, to run a campaign on your channel shouldn't you be trusting enough in their ability to handle problems between players? Looking back now, I can only assume he made that statement because he was certain that Jelly would be a player at the table, and that problems might arise between Jelly and Ava. He asked that I keep the conversation between us. But that was something I could not do. None of that situation felt right to me. Wayne, Ava, and I had been friends playing games together for nearly a year now. I never saw any inclination of Ava being a "problem player" - she was great at the table, and a great person to hang out with. And I found it weird that Wayne would say those things about her, and not approach her about it. So of course I talked to her. For weeks she had been sharing her excitement of the new campaign with me, often with Wayne in the voice channel with us. Ava would then share with me her past experiences with Wayne and Jelly. Again, it is not my story to tell, but I am a good judge of character. I believed Ava's account of events. It made sense to me, with how Wayne and Jelly acted.
I wish I could say this story had a happy and/or satisfying conclusion. I'm not even really sure if there is a point to it, or even if it will be a good read. It has been clear for some time now that Wayne has been entirely obsessed with the growing of his Youtube channel, damn any and all bridges burned, and walking back some of his initial promises of what he claimed the campaign and the Youtube channel would be. It's also very clear to me that Wayne is someone who absolutely has to have control over everything, especially the narrative (fictional and real life).
There are so many minor grievances to air about Wayne that I haven't already touched on, and I feel like I've already taken up too much of your time already. Here's just a brief overview, I'd be more than happy to go into more details if you want them:

• Multiple players from the Wayne campaign confided in me about some of the problems they had with Wayne and how the game was being run. When Wayne found out, he blew his lid, and said that he was both Manager and HR, and no one should be complaining to anyone outside of the table. If they were going to complain to anyone, it should be him.
  
  • It turns out, Wayne has a prior history of being an asshole. Long before the Youtube channel, and the campaign, even before the previous campaign, he told his then group that they were playing the game wrong. He then found a new group, sang their praises to the old group, and then even brought both groups together to show the old group "the right way to play"
  • In addition to Wayne, he has two editors working for him. One of which he pays. The other one has had no compensation. The one not getting paid is doing the same work as both Wayne and the paid editor combined.
  • I mentioned way early on in the story that Ava was the Discord Administrator for the Discord server. After the Seth campaign incident, Wayne unceremoniously removed Ava as Administrator, told her it was "by mistake", and never put it back. As far as I can tell, there was nothing to warrant this other than control. I suspect it was because there were certain Seth campaign related channels or other channels he didn't want Ava to see.
  • The unceremonious removal of myself and Ava from the Youtube channel admin. Admittedly, we contributed very little to it, but it was removed without a word mentioned.
  • Recently making a post requiring his "talent" to purchase a minimum $5 dollar Patreon subscription. He has admitted to me the reasoning for this was to inflate Patreon subscriber numbers to entice new subscribers. He has since walked that back after much outcry from the "talent"
  • Asking Seth if it wouldn't be too much to convert his envisioned DnD campaign into a Daggerheart campaign, because Daggerheart is the new hotness, and will attract more viewers.

Ultimately, I suppose I feel disheartened and deceived. Deceived because I originally signed up for what I thought was going to be a bunch of friends sitting around and recording themselves playing quality DnD, and it has shifted so far from that original purpose. Wayne is obsessed over subscriber numbers and views, it's all he ever talks about. He claims that his goal is to reach a level of success to which all 10+ people involved will be able to achieve financial freedom (which he claims is roughly $2000 a month). I'm sure you've done the math, just like I have. Even if you believe $2k a month is financial freedom (I certainly don't), that comes out to $240,000 a year. That's an insane level of success to promise your players. Oh, I'm sorry, your "talent".
I feel disheartened because....there's actually good work being done here. Some of the players are some of the best I've ever played with. Wayne can actually be a good storyteller, when he's not pushing for likes or clicks. The editors do a really fantastic job. I have seen and listened to the work being done on the Seth campaign (luckily Wayne is only tangentially involved), and Seth's campaign is turning out to be something really special. There is something good being done here, but it seems so tainted by Wayne and his obsession for Youtube and Tiktok success. So, maybe this is an RPG Horror Story, maybe it's a cautionary tale. I dunno. I have committed to finishing out my run in the campaign, (I was brought back to the table multiple times because the players enjoy playing with me, and also I suspect I was involved in one of his highest viewed shorts), but my hearts not in it. I've told Wayne I've no interest in any of his future projects, and I wish him well on his Youtube journey. But in the pursuit of clicks, and likes, and subscribers, I feel like he has fundamentally lost what attracts people to actually watch and invest in TTRPG actual plays - authenticity.

I'm writing this as a 14 year old. I know i'm young but man, i just wanna do this. Since i was three i lived with my mom and my grandparemts as my dad went to live in the country where he is from, but i'm not angry for that.
Anyways, growing up i was almost always fat- well, not fat, more skinnyfat. So my arms were like sticks but my belly and my legs were fat, amd that made me really insecure. Also, i was always pretty tall for my age (now i'm 180cm or 5'10") but always was underweight, despite being kinda fat. I don't like sport, but still every year i tried a new one, to get stronger amd be more fit, but i never saw results, i never got stronger. Just in the last year, when i decided to leave sports and do my own things, i saw muscles grow and i felt better.
This summer my grandpa died, and alteast until he got alzhaimers in 2020, he was like a father for me: he'd come and pick me up at school, we would watch movies toghether and all this kind of things. When he started to get alzhaimers he startet forgettimg a lot of things, and in 2023 it got a lot worse: he would say that he would call the cops on me, my mom amd my grandma because he felt like we were keeping him in the house and some other things. In april or may i went to a school trip for three days, and when i came back my grandpa was in bed, amd didn't eat basically anything. we took him to the hospital and then we brought him to a retirememt home. It wasn't until the summer holidays started that i went to see him. The last time i saw him, he was in bed, he didn't say a word. He was so skinny, and honestly looked like a skeleton, and that broke me. On the 10 of june he had a heart attack and died. We were all heartbroken, and at the funeral i just cried all the tears that i had in my body.
Fast forward to january 2024 and i get a crush on this girl that i saw on insta. I discussed about it with my friend and for two months we talked about how i should present myself to her. In the end i decided to write to her and my hear was pounding. I'd say that i hit it off pretty good, we chatted for about am hour and a half, and the day after we talked for an hour. But after those days it just got to me always writing first, saying "hey how are you" and "what did you do today" and stop. It got still and it still is, and i'm considering giving up on this, but i atleast want to go out with her, just once to see what happens.
Last thing. I recently realized that i'm alone, and probably will be for the rest of my life. By that i don't mean that i have no friends, i have plently, and i thankful for that, but i just don't relate to them much. My insta feed just keeps showing me videos of couples and honestly everytime i see one i just feel like giving up. Most of my thoughts at night are things along the lines of: "what if i jumped out lf the window, would anyone care?". To be honest that's a stupid thought. Of course people would care. If i put a gun in front of me i wouldn't manage to pull the trigger, because i know that i have to do something one day. Honestly sometimes my biggest fantasy is just a hug.
So that's my vent. I know it's probably far less than the things other had to lass through, but i just wanted to do this.

Has anybody noticed the homeless and people using drugs at court and church? Right beside Garden City Funeral home. Just right out in the open. I fail to believe the owner of that property doesn't know what's going on. Feel sad for the funeral home. New business I believe.

I (29M) was seeing this girl (27F) since around January. We matched on Hinge back in October 2023 and hit it off pretty well, but she ghosted me for a few months and I thought that was it. In January she got back in touch with me, and we started talking again and she explained that she went into a mental health break for that time. I forgave her and we started officially seeing each other.
She was amazing, beautiful, super funny and I ended up falling in love. We were dating and everything was going well. I was doing everything I could to make her happy (Dates, order food while she was a work sometimes, take/drive her home from work, etc.)
Fast forward to the middle of March and my mother passes away suddenly while on a trip in Tampa, FL. It was an extremely painful time. I took a month of my military leave until mid-April to mourn the loss of my Mom and to attend her funeral in Georgia. After I came back I was a mess, but my gf did her best to check on me and be there for me. I realized this and wanted to make sure I was still putting effort into our relationship.
At the beginning of May, I find out she is moving back to New York at the end of the month and I was absolutely crushed. I asked her if we could spend time together and she says yes. Unfortunately, she started to cancel the times we set to see each other due to her feeling “stressed out and avoidant”. I try to respect her time, but was wandering if she was still interested in me.
A couple of days ago, I call her because she canceled plans to see each other on Friday. She then tells me she found she is leaving this Sunday. We agree that if she gets everything done, we’ll see each other a few hours before she goes to the airport. Fast forward to Sunday, I call her a few times and text her, but she leaves me on read for a few hours. I’m out running errands and a get a really bad feeling of dread in my stomach so, I did something rash and went to the place she was staying to check on her. I’m told she was out taking care of things. I leave then call her. To be honest I was blowing up her phone at this point. After a while a dude picks up and I ask who this is and he treats it as a joke and hangs up. At this point, I don’t know what got into me but I lost it and went back to her place. When I got there, I was told by her best friend that she moved back to NY this morning. I go back home to realize that I am blocked on everything. She reaches out on final time on Discord to tell me that I had no place to go to the place that she was staying unannounced and that she was blocking me. I tried everything to convince her but it was over.
All the emotions over the past few months caught up with me and the dam breaks: I had a severe mental breakdown and cried like I never cried before.
I feel so fucking ashamed for giving into impulse and acting like a creep. I really loved her and I wanted to make sure she was okay, but I went too far and disrespected the boundaries of people who were not even involved. I should have just left it alone and minded my business.
The last two nights, I’ve had nightmares about it, woke up in cold sweats and just started sobbing. I’ve never felt so alone and stupid in my entire life.
I plan to go see a Chaplain tomorrow to talk and get some help because I feel like I’ve lost everything.

New Bedford Highway Killer - Wikipedia
"The New Bedford Highway Killer is an unidentified serial killer responsible for the deaths of at least nine women and the disappearances of two additional women in New Bedford, Massachusetts, between March 1988 and April 1989.^\1]) The killer is also suspected to have assaulted numerous other women. All the killer's victims were known sex workers or had struggles with addiction. While the victims were taken from New Bedford, they were all found in different surrounding towns, including Dartmouth, Freetown and Westport, Massachusetts, along Route 140. The main detective that pursued the case was John Dextradeur.^\2])

1. Robbin Lynn Rhodes, 29, also referred to as “Bobbie Lynn” was found on March 28, 1989, along Route 140 southbound in Freetown by a search dog. She is believed to have gone missing sometime in March or April 1988. Rhodes had dated suspect Kenneth Ponte. She had a young child and was addicted to heroin and cocaine. While she was never involved in prostitution, she knew many of the other victims and was friends with victim Mary Rose Santos.^\3])
2. Rochelle Clifford Dopierala, 28, of Falmouth, disappeared sometime during late April 1988. Her body was found on December 10, 1988, in a gravel pit along Reed Road beneath a tree grove, about two miles from Interstate 195, by people riding ATVs. She was partially clothed and had been beaten to death. She had dated and stayed at the home of suspect Kenneth Ponte, who was arrested for her murder, but the charges were eventually dismissed due to a lack of evidence. This was the only time charges were brought in this case. Rochelle had testified against another man who had raped her, but he is not suspected in this case. She was last seen with victim Nancy Paiva’s boyfriend, an ex-convict. He was cleared in both deaths and is not a suspect.^\3])
3. Deborah Lynn McConnell, 25, of Newport, Rhode Island, was mother to one daughter. Deborah was last seen sometime in May 1988 by her father after the funeral of her mother at the local cemetery. She is believed to have been the third victim. Her body was found on December 1, 1988, off Route 140 northbound in Freetown, through a cadaver dog search. She was found nude with a bra wrapped around her neck.^\3])
4. Debra Medeiros, 29, of Fall River lived with her mother. Debra was known to both police and family to have had long standing substance abuse issues but no record for prostitution. She was last seen by her boyfriend in New Bedford after a fight, and was reported missing on May 27, 1988. She was the first of the bodies found and she was identified in December 1988. Her body was found on July 3, 1988, by a woman who went to relieve herself just in the woods on the side of the road on Interstate 140 in Freetown. Her remains were severely decomposed with her body positioned on her back with her feet pointed towards the highway. Her cause of death was strangulation, she had a bra wrapped around her neck, and she was found only partially clad. Her boyfriend was ruled out as a suspect. After her death, her mother counselled drug and alcohol addicts in honour of her daughter’s death.^\3])
5. Christina Monteiro, 19, was last seen sometime in May 1988 and has not been seen or heard from since. Christina had a child and had a known substance abuse history. She was a Cape Verdean American female with brown hair, brown eyes with scars on both wrists and a scar near her left eye. She was between 5’3 and 5’5 and was 110 lbs. She had initials and words tattooed on her arms. She was wearing a shirt, blue jeans and sneakers when she was last seen.^\3])
6. Marilyn Cardoza-Roberts, 34, was last seen sometime in June 1988 and has not been seen or heard from since. She was reported missing in December 1988. She was neighbours with victim Christina Monteiro, who is also still missing.^\3])
7. Nancy Lee Paiva, 36, of New Bedford, was last seen walking home from a bar called “Whisper’s Pub” on July 7, 1988, after a reported fight with her boyfriend in the South End in the early hours of the morning. Nancy reportedly had substance abuse issues but was not known to be a prostitute. Nancy had gone to secretarial school, but dropped out. She was married at 19, divorced and had two teenaged daughters. Nancy was known as a very supportive mother and grandmother. At the time of her death, she had a steady boyfriend, who was a drug dealer known to police. Her relationship with her boyfriend had been dysfunctional with domestic violence issues. Her nude body was discovered beside Interstate 195 Westbound in Dartmouth on July 30, 1988, by two men who were riding motorcycles. Her body was found in the same position as victim Debra Medeiro’s – on her back with her feet pointing towards the highway. Nancy’s cause of death was also believed to be strangulation. Her boyfriend is not a suspect in her death.^\3])
8. Debra Greenlaw Demello, 35, was a mother of three; a fifteen year old daughter, Chandra and two boys who were eight and three respectively at the time of her death. She had struggled with substance abuse issues since her teenage years. She had walked away from a prison work-release program to which she had been sentenced due to a prostitution charge on June 18 and was last seen in New Bedford, on July 11, 1988. Her body was found off the eastbound Reed Road ramp of Interstate 195 by a state highway crew on November 8, 1988. Debra’s nude body was in an area with trees with her clothing strewn in the branches. She was found with some belongings of another victim, Nancy Paiva.^\3])
9. Mary Rose Santos, 26, of New Bedford, was a mother of two, who was dropped off on July 16, 1988, by her husband, with whom she had recently reconciled, near the downtown bus station and last seen dancing at “The Old Quarterdeck Lounge” five hours later. Friends said her husband had no idea she was working the streets to help pay bills, and she was known to have a substance abuse issue. Mary Rose Santos’ nude body was found with a beer bottle on March 31, 1989, along Route 88 in Westport by two boys. Suspect Kenneth Ponte had represented Mary Santos in a civil case and helped her husband make flyers after her disappearance.^\3])
10. Sandra Botelho, 24, was a mother of two young sons who were both four and six-years-old. Botelho was known to have a significant substance abuse issue and engaged in prostitution. Botelho reportedly left her apartment on August 11, 1988, at 11 pm and never returned. She was the final body found, located in the woods along Interstate 195 in Marion on April 24, 1989. Her body was nude and reportedly was folded into a foetal position.^\3])
11. Dawn Mendes, 25, was last seen in New Bedford, on September 4, 1988, walking from her apartment to a family christening party. Mendes was one of ten children and was also the mother of a five-year-old boy. She had a history of prostitution and drug use. Her body was found on November 29, 1988, on the westbound Reed Road ramp off Interstate 195 by a search dog. There were mostly skeletal remains but her hand was able to yield a fingerprint which lead to her being identified. Her mother raised her son after her death.^\3])^"

Date: 05/21/2024

Reading time: 10 minutes, 2056 words

🪖 Military

Armenia participates in NATO's Regex 2024 headquarters exercise in Moldova

Armenia is participating in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) Regex 2024 headquarters exercise that have started in Moldova on May 20. The military exercises will be held from May 20 to 24. They are attended by about 30 representatives from NATO partner countries.

Armenpress

Armenian army factor is important for security guarantees, but it is not the only one - Security Council Secretary

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ArkaAm

NATO and Armenia strengthen cooperation in defense education

Representatives from the Armenian Ministry of Defense met with their counterparts at NATO Headquarters at the end of April. Reviewed activities conducted within the framework of NATO’s Defence Education Enhancement Programme (DEEP) for Armenia. Set out the plan of joint activities for the rest of the year and for 2025.

ArmRadio

Funeral procession of Iranian president Raisi starts in Tabriz

The funeral procession of Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi and seven others killed in a helicopter crash began in the northwestern city of Tabriz on Tuesday morning. Another funeral service is scheduled to be held in the holy city of Qom on Tuesday evening. The president will be laid to rest on May 23 at noon in Mashhad in northeastern Iran.

Armenpress, The National Assembly observes minute of silence for Iranian President and staff lost in helicopter crash

🏛️ Politics & Government

Azerbaijani FM makes phone call to Iran's acting Foreign Minister

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Armenpress

Armenian, Slovenian foreign ministries address security implications of recent developments

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Armenpress

Joint statement adopted at the International Conference on Nuclear Security; Armenia joins

A Co-Presidents’ Joint Statement was adopted during the International Conference on Nuclear Security held in Vienna on May 20-21. Armenia, among other participating countries, joined the Statement.

Armenpress

Alen Simonyan, Ruslan Stefanchuk discuss the security situation in the South Caucasus and Ukraine

The Armenian National Assembly President Alen Simonyan and the Speaker of the Verkhovna (Supreme) Rada of Ukraine Ruslan Stefanchuk held via video conference. The interlocutors discussed the security situation in the South Caucasus and in Ukraine.

Armenpress, Armenian, Ukrainian Parliament Speakers discuss situation in the South Caucasus and Ukraine

Armenia top security official receives CIA deputy director

Secretary of the Armenian Security Council Armen Grigoryan received a delegation from the CIA. Issues related to Armenia-US bilateral cooperation as well as regional security were discussed at the meeting.

Armenpress, Armen Grigoryan and Hamad Khamis Al-Kubaisi discuss prospects for Armenia-Qatar relations, Pashinyan holds meeting with CIA deputy director, Armenia, Qatar discuss developing economic relations, Pashinyan discussed issues related to the Armenia-US and international agenda with the deputy head of the US CIA, Armenian PM, CIA Deputy Director discuss international, regional issues, Armenia-Qatar ties discussed in Doha

Moldova signs security and defence partnership with EU

Moldova has signed a security and defence partnership with the European Union. It is the first country to sign such a deal with the EU. The deal will allow to jointly address common security challenges.

Armenpress

Mirzoyan and Floyd highlight comprehensive Nuclear-Test-Ban Treaty's role in non- proliferation and nuclear disarmament

The Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Republic of Armenia Ararat Mirzoyan had a meeting with the Executive Secretary of the Comprehensive Nuclear-Test-Ban Treaty Organization Robert Floyd in Vienna. The role of the Treaty in non-proliferation and nuclear disarmament was emphasized on both sides.

Armenpress

Eurasian Fund for Stabilization and Development to be involved in Armenia’s infrastructure projects

Armenia's Vice Prime Minister Mher Grigoryan and Managing Director of the Eurasian Fund for Stabilization and Development (EFSD) Andrey Shirokov discussed the Fund's involvement in Armenia's infrastructure projects. The parties also pointed out the importance of Armenia’s participation in large regional projects.

ArkaAm

Security Council Secretary: Armenia ready to sign peace treaty with Azerbaijan ‘any day’

Armenia is ready to sign a peace treaty with Azerbaijan 'any day' Armenia’s Security Council Secretary Armen Grigoryan said he is hoping to sign the treaty “as soon as possible” Armenia”s officials mentioned the three basic principles it expects the treaty to be based on multiple times.

ArkaAm

Victory or concessions? Secretary of Security Council comments on delimitation ofborder with Azerbaijan

Armenian Security Council Secretary Armen Grigoryan declined to describe launch of border demarcation with Azerbaijan as a victory or concessions amid ongoing occupation of parts of the sovereign territory of the country by Azerbaijan. Armenia ceded 2.5 villages to Azerbaijan, but there are territories that were returned to Armenia.

ArkaAm

Armenia calls for prohibiting threats of attacks on nuclear facilities

Armenia has raised the need for a treaty prohibiting attacks on nuclear facilities devoted to peaceful purposes.

PanArmenian

Armenian lawyers protest against bill that will increase the cost of their services

Armenian lawyers have expressed dissatisfaction with a new bill on the parliament's agenda. From October 2024 they will have to pay 10% turnover tax instead of 5% now, and from 2025 they will pay 20% VAT. Head of the Armenian Chamber of Advocates Simon Babayan said that such a tax increase will lead to a significant increase in the price of lawyer services by 38%.

ArkaAm

Funeral procession moves to Qom, Iran

Caskets of Iran's President and fellow passengers are now being transferred from Tabriz to Qom. The city is considered the second most sacred city in Iran after Mashhad. State media are reporting that the bodies will be carried around the shrine. The bodies will then be taken to the capital, Tehran, where they will be laid to rest.

ArmRadio

💵 Economy

Armenia works on diversification of economy with an eye on Europe - Secretary of the Security Council

Armenia is working hard to diversify its economy with the prospect of increasing exports to Europe. Secretary of the Security Council Armen Grigoryan said the country has not yet achieved significant success in the economic sphere. Armenia's foreign trade turnover with EU countries in first quarter of 2024 reached almost $494.3 million.

ArkaAm, Armenia is working to diversify its economy with the prospect of exporting to Europe. AX:

Almost 100 taxpayers in Armenia fined 55.25 million drams for unregistered workers

In April 2024, about 98 business entities in Armenia were found to have unregistered workers. In particular, the fines imposed on 17 companies amounted to about AMD 29.8 million. These companies are engaged in the sale of flowers and seeds, furniture production, cosmetics, jewelry and perfumes.

ArkaAm

Armenia’s GDP grows by 9.2% up to 1.97 trillion AMD

Armenia's GDP increased by 9.2% in Q1 2024 compared to the same period of 2023. Manufacturing industry showed the highest growth, standing at 31.1%, repair of cars and motorcycles grew by 25.1% In nominal terms, the country's GDP in current prices amounted to 1,971,230.4 million drams at the end of the reporting period.

ArkaAm

Second tranche of loan for development of MSMEs provided to Ardshinbank by EBRD and EU

Ardshinbank signed an agreement with the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (EBRD) and the European Union (EU) for the allocation of the second tranche of financing to re-lending micro, small, and medium businesses. This lending is carried out under the “MSME Competitiveness in the Eastern Partnership (EaP SMEC)” program. The agreement will support MSME investments in sustainable technologies, as well as towards health and safety.

ArkaAm, The EBRD and the EU granted Ardshinbank the second tranche of the loan for the development of SMEs (PHOTO)

Ambassador sees potential for expansion of trade between Armenia and Brazil

Diplomatic relations between Armenia and Brazil were established more than 30 years ago. Ambassador Yeganian said that the trade between the two countries amounts to approximately $100 million dollars annually. Brazil is one of the largest economies in the world, and Armenia has seen impressive economic growth.

ArmRadio

Armenia an emerging destination for UK and global investors – Ambassador

Armenia’s Ambassador to UK Varuzhan Nersesyan writes in an article published by London Business Matters. He emphasizes that Armenia in recent years Armenia has made significant progress on enhancing its business environment, creating opportunities and favorable conditions for investment.

ArmRadio

🧪 Science & Technology

Surveying works underway in Armenia’s Kirants

Surveying works are underway in the Armenian village of Kirants in the northern Tavush province.

PanArmenian

IAEA’s Grossi to visit Kaliningrad May 28 to discuss ZNPP

IAEA Director-General Rafael Grossi will visit Kaliningrad on May 28 to discuss the situation at the Zaporozhye nuclear power plant. Russia's permanent representative to international organizations in Vienna Mikhail Ulyanov said.

Armenpress

IAEA supports Armenia’s nuclear program – Rafael Grossi

International Atomic Energy Agency supports Armenia’s nuclear program, IAEA Director General Rafael Mariano Grossi wrote on X. Grossi presented the results of his meeting with Minister of Foreign Affairs of Armenia Ararat Mirzoyan.

Armenpress, Effective cooperation is established between Armenia and IAEA

Tree Planting Results with My Forest Armenia: The Power of One Dram

During March and April 2022, AMD 10.757.867 was directed to the afforestation program of the "My Forest Armenia" NGO, 16,000 trees were planted. Representatives of IDBank and Idram visited Jrashen again to see the newly planted forest.

Armenpress

Mirzoyan: Armenia will extend lifetime of current nuclear power unit with smooth transition tonew capacity by 2036

The Armenian NPP is one of the main sources of electricity in the country, providing up to 40% of the total generation. Its service life has been extended until 2026, and work is underway to re-extend it for another 10 years. The construction of a new plant is estimated to take 8-10 years.

ArkaAm, Armenia has decided to extend the operation period of the NPP until 2036, with the ultimate goal of a smooth transition to the new capacity. Minister of Foreign Affairs, Armenia says ready to extend nuclear plant’s lifetime by 10 years

🎭 Culture

ARARAT Special Evening Dedicated to the 100th Anniversary of Charles Aznavour

On May 20 ARARAT legendary Armenian brandy, celebrated the centennial of Maestro Charles Aznavour with a special event. The event took place at the "One & Only" theater within the Seven Visions Hotel. Guests of the event had the chance to reveal the brandy on the course of special tasting.

Armenpress, VTB Armenia general sponsor for Charles Aznavour 100th birthday tribute concert, VTB-Armenia Bank acted as the main sponsor of the concert dedicated to the 100th anniversary of Charles Aznavour., For you, Charles: Yerevan to host exhibition on Aznavour’s centennial anniversary, ARARAT special evening dedicated to Aznavour's 100th Anniv.

“Yerevan Ballet Festival” to host theater groups from various countries

The "Yerevan Ballet Festival" will be held on June 2-5 in the park named after Hovhannes Tumanyan. Admission to the outdoor ballet festival is free.

Armenpress

Aznavouriana: Album dedicated to Aznavour’s 100th anniversary released

The album “Aznavouriana” by Deutsche Grammophon is already released and is available since May 17, 2024, just ahead of the artist’s birthday. The album is a collection of exquisite interpretations of globally beloved iconic songs.

ArmRadio

⚽ Sport

Gymnasts left for Bulgaria

Gymnastics team will participate in "World Challenge Cup" to be held in Bulgaria. Artur Davtyan, Artur Avetisyan, Erik Baghdasaryan, and Artur Tovmasyan will represent Armenia in the regular round.

Armenpress

Hayk Martirosyan wins 7th round of Sharjah tournament

Shant Sargsyan, Samvel Ter-Sahakyan, Manuel Petrosyan shared the point. Hayk Martirosyan won the 7th round of the Sharjah Masters 2024 international tournament in UAE. The leaders are participants from India and the USA with 5.5 points.

Armenpress

Donations to Armenia:

Himnadram
ServicemenFund
Armenian Wounded Heroes
ArmeniaFund

20 F. Hi. I lost my father a few months back, and i don't think I'm handling it very well. Not in a very conventional way where you just stay gloomy and sad and stuff. I'm just? Making? Jokes? More jokes than usual. Last time I cried like cried-cried like properly cried, the one you're supposed to cry like Sahi wala mtlb, Jaise proper tareeke Se, was on his funeral. I find it very hard to share my emotions with my friend. I always have, I thought this time it would be relatively easier to, yk, just share it out. But I keep saying 'mein fit Jani alhumdulilah tum sunao Kiya haal hai' People who lost their father at a young age, how do you cope up with it?

Sup people So, I’m coming off Wellbutrin XL because I didn’t really do much for me Essentially, I have PTSD First 22 years in my life, I never had anxiety and no problems doing anything then obviously a big event happened and I’m gonna start therapy for it I spoke with my doctor yesterday and she is prescribing me Lexapro I used to have really bad panic attacks. There was a point where I was phobic and couldn’t leave my house for three years. I’ve been on Wellbutrin for a while, but it hasn’t really opened up doors and I’ve missed two funerals because I can’t fly and I still can’t drive or beyond highways, etc. I’ve just been here for a bit before picking up my bottle and I’m wondering about what the realistic side effects are for me because I’m a tune to being on medication essentially I’m pretty big because I like to go to the gym and hike and I do stay in shape as well as so I’m curious about the weight gain as I really do not want to pack on the pounds On top of that, I’m wondering about the ED because I’m sexually active as well And then my final question would be hasn’t helped anybody with agoraphobia Will eventually be able to actually live my life again it’s been about seven years now Like I said, I’m going to be starting therapy, but I have not gone yet so I have to rely on this medication for a while Looking for any tips and advice that anybody could give me because obviously the worst thing because I know that there has to be a lot of people with success as opposed to all the negative post What should I realistically be onto this medication and is it recommended to take at night if I want to remain an active person? Thank you in advance

Hi, so just a quick update no one really asked for.
Mike and I are not pushing through with the wedding for the time being.
While I was posting on Reddit asking strangers and stressing out about what to do, Mike apparently still has a handle on things despite everything. 2 days after we received the news about Steve's (Mike's brother) passing, Mike talked to me, asking me if it was alright if we could postpone the wedding for now. He was very apologetic to me and I could tell his mind is still trying to keep up with everything that's happening. I told him not to worry about it, and I reassured him that me and my family are by his side through this.
Mike was still very much shell-shocked by everything that happened. My sisters and their boyfriends took over coordinating with our wedding vendors, suppliers, and guests. I'm so grateful that everyone was accommodating enough to understand our situation. We either got a full refund or were allowed to reschedule at a later date for each of our vendors. Our guests who had already booked flights were also very gracious and pretty much just wanted to commiserate with me and Mike.
My nurse aunt took care of all the hospital procedures and paperwork, while my dad has been walking Mike through all the police and legal proceedings related to Steve's passing. My mom took care of the funeral, and it was a beautiful service. Steve's friends also organized a separate memorial tribute for him, and I really felt how much Steve was loved by the people he touched. My only job throughout all this was to look after Mike, making sure he ate and slept (even though it was difficult), and just assuring him that I'm here for him.
Mike and I went home to our apartment last Saturday. It was his first time back since, and it was also the first time we were alone since Steve's passing. When we got to our bedroom, Mike asked if he could have a few moments alone. It was the first time he cried and broke down, and he was screaming through his pillows and all (but I could still hear him back at our kitchen). We've decided to look into grief counseling, and we're having our first sessions tomorrow (we're going separately).
As for our wedding, I assured him that there's absolutely no pressure. I'll be right here waiting whenever he's ready. Now that we've gone through the past two weeks, looking back, me stressing out about finances and all really seemed so trivial compared to the emotional, physical, and mental roller coaster we experienced. I can't even begin to imagine what Mike is going through, but I know he'll get through this.
That's it. Just wanted to share this update with anyone who cares.
PS. Steve, you know I made sure you looked fabulous even in your final moments. We miss you so much, dear! We love you!

To preface this I've been living on my own since around December because of dysfunctional family dynamics and those issues that always arise with that situation.
Anyways I'm 19, have been doing extensive introspection and working towards piecing my life together (this includes mending & maintaining my relationship with myself, younger siblings, friends, and acquaintances). As of the past few weeks I began working full time - this began new opportunities to form relationships with my coworkers.
I ended up talking to this girl who's just a little bit older than me and it seems to me like we started cultivating a lil mutual attraction between us beyond the bounds of a strong friendship; she opened up to me a good bit and on more than one occasion about how she gets nervous & how she has a hard time telling people how she feels (these are the 2 big things I can recall ATM). What worries me is that I am avoidant and a little ambivalent in my anxious attachment style, and that across the numerous times we would get close and flirt with each other I (possibly we) would start fearing the uncertainty of being accepted past a certain threshold of closeness if that makes any sense.
Between everything going on I went through some periods of avoidance ranging from a few moments to hours which really took a lot out of me to bounce back from. Not taking care of myself consistently has made it hard to be consistent in my interactions with this girl, as well as my own internal dialogue and that with others. ~ Back to my crush: I've had bad days where I am not available 100%. Despite this I've felt a sustained sense of shared feelings throughout my 'relationship' with this girl - and there's been a few times spaced out over the recent weeks where she'll send me green lights.
I got let go from the job but I have to bring my shirts back, and I want to go today before I have to leave for an out of state family funeral tomorrow for the rest of the week. I definitely want to take this opportunity to address my feelings to her because I am absolutely infatuated with her and feel like we cultivated a special (LO-key strong) mutual connection but I'm really overthinking and confusing/psyching myself out about having the right amount of directness and expression without pushing her away. Also, there's a smokeshop closeby where she gave me goodies from that she told me she'll chill at so idk if I should try to catch her and communicate this to her as I return my work stuff or if I should try to use going back to my job to return my clothes to set up space to communicate outside of the job so there's less pressure and more room for us to address this stuff.
I know this is a lot but my goodness it means a lot to me lol

I'm so tired of misty rain swept hills. I'm tired of gusts. I'm tired of seagulls and homeless, mentally ill people screaming in the town centre, and people ignoring them. All of us, pretending they aren't there.
I'm tired of trendy young uni students with shiny, hopeful eyes thinking their socialist clubs are going to one day make a difference in this armpit of a world. Filming everything for tik tok and strutting around public spaces "looks maxing."
I'm tired of the middle aged workers those students will one day become versions of. With their resigned eyes, dull and blank and full of thoughts about paying bills. I'm tired of being one of them.
I'm tired of snappily dressed "important" business people on the Thorndon end of town, who will walk directly into you if you don't get out of the way. Probably in a hurry to get into their tiresome tesla vehicles.
I'm tired of trying things like improv to "spice things up." Finding myself standing having a panic attack in class. Whilst a woman tries to communicate with me in yelps and barks and waits for me to respond in gibberish. Or going to pot lucks in which you say the wrong thing about veganism and a man dressed in a plaid shirt with a bun hairstyle eyes you judgmentally.
I'm tired of being disappointed by Wellington. I'm tired of how none of its good points matter, because sweeping landscapes and pretty harbours don't quiet the discontentment of realising this truly is all there is. It's a hollow beauty.
I'm tired of people referring to the same tourist attractions as some indication that Wellington is a "happening" place. Weta workshop, Te Papa, the cable car. There's only so many times you can look at a half dissolved giant squid specimen and pretend it doesn't look like a busted gut. Someone needs to let that thing rest at the bottom of the sea. Hold a funeral and let it move on.
There's only so many times you can ride up a hill and look at a miniature harbour before you realise Wellington is a city for tiny dolls, living the same small lives and doing the same little things.
Can I really be one of those tiny dolls? My limbs articulate creakily. To the office, to my flat. Soup for one. Rinse, repeat.
I came here seeking more, and all I have found is more rain. More unemployment. More bad dates with weird people. Too many hills.
Wellington, I think I want to break up.
It's not you, it's me. But it might be you a little bit?

Hey all. I was told about the sub by a kind redditor. I'm lost, and have zero support in real life, so I'm here in hopes of just finding people who understand I guess, or that will at least let me ramble.
I lost my daughter last week to suicide. She was only 15. She was such an amazing girl (there's pics in my profile). She was smart, funny, kind, beautiful, so artistic, a talented singer and dancer, and she was such a huge part of me. She was my mini-me. My other two look like my late husband, which is fine of course, but she loved throwing up that SHE was my little clone.
My kids have been through it in their short lives. I don't want to ramble too much about the past, but to sum it up, my husband passed away from complications due to the flu in 2017. I raised the kids alone since. I have all the kids in therapy monthly/bi-weekly, and we have a great open line of communication, or so I thought.
She was suffering in silence with problems at school. She was being harassed by a group of girls, picked on by a group of guys, and just couldn't escape it. She thought she found the way out. I wish she had told me. I just wish she had given me a clue. Something.
I feel like I completely missed all of this. I should have stopped it. I should have protected her. She told me afterwards that she didn't want to add any stress on me, and it broke my heart. I would have taken ALLLL the stress to save her. Gladly.
She survived her attempt for nearly 6 weeks, but she did major damage to her heart and other organs, and in the end, they just couldn't reverse it. I think that's made it harder for me. She was seeing that it was a mistake. She was seeing that there were other options. But it was too late.
How the hell do I move forward? What do I do? My other two kids are so broken, and I'm shattered into pieces. We have lost all our family, and most of our "friends" are staying away. I think they just don't know what to say.
I haven't even finished planning her funeral. Between the financial aspect, and just being mentally able to do it, it's taking a while. I keep having people ask, over and over, and I just want to scream. Part of me isn't even ready to say good-bye. I can pretend this is all a nightmare right now. Maybe I will wake up?
I lost my uncle to suicide when I was 16, so this isn't the first loved one I've lost senselessly, but he had medical issues, marital issues, and "real" problems. He was facing life in a wheelchair. My Emmie was facing a beautiful future. She had her whole life ahead of her. I feel like such a worthless failure of a parent.
Anyways, if you read this far, I'm sorry for all the words, but thank you for taking the time to hear me out. I know it's going to be rough for the foreseeable future, so I'm glad I found you guys.

Hi y'all, this is a new account because I was getting triggered by reddit and I needed to delete my old account. I used to be pretty active here. :)
I'm 37 and was diagnosed early 2023. I spent 4 months inpatient last year after receiving the diagnosis. I'm currently doing EMDR twice a month, using my coping skills, and focusing on getting better so I can return to work (I haven't worked in 18 months).
For background: my mother has NPD :( and my father is emotionally immature. My psych suspects he was undiagnosed BPD when I was growing up based on my description of his behavior. I have 2 siblings who have a ton of issues, but no one else in my family of origin has ever sought treatment, therapy, or any help for the abuse. I haven't spoken to any of them in ~15 months and don't plan to reestablish contact until after my mother dies.
My question: My mother has a half-sister (my aunt) whose about 15 years older than her. Unfortunately, my grandmother triangulated my mother and her half-sister until she died in 2007. I only realized this last year while in treatment. (My aunt's father died in WWII and then her husband died in a freak workplace accident in the late '70s. A lot of my mother's triangulation was about how my aunt is a deadbeat, but she hasn't had an easy life!) She has 3 children who are a decade older than me and my siblings, but all 6 of us grew up pretty close. My cousins were like my older siblings and I have lots of good memories of them. However, they can be volatile and they gossip a lot. There is a ton of triangulation on my mother's side and I don't totally trust them because of my mother's behavior. It's like we're on two different teams because there's so much mistrust between these families, but we all grew up together! :(
My aunt is now in her mid-80s and I feel like it may be time to reach out to her before she passes. I didn't have any truly "safe" adults growing up, but my aunt and my grandfather (he passed already) were the closest ones to safety. (I had a family friend who I considered safe, but she died a few years ago from cancer. I wish I could go back in time and tell her how much I appreciated the little safety she gave me as a child!)
That brings me to my question: I'm considering reaching out to my safest cousin and asking her to put me in touch with my aunt. I'm very confused, though, about if this is a good idea. When my grandfather died in 2015, my mother and my aunt had a big fight at his funeral about money, inheritance, who gets his house, etc. Of course, my mother triangulated me and my siblings, and said this fight was all my aunts' fault because she's a deadbeat, etc. I have no idea if anything my mother said is true... I really don't trust my mother. She lies a lot. I do trust my intuition, which tells me that my aunt wasn't totally to blame, but is somewhat to blame for this argument. No one from my family of origin has spoken to my aunt or cousins since then, although I think my older sibling is connected with them on social media. I don't have social media.
Sorry, this is so long... in 2021, my parents and I went to a funeral of a distant cousin who passed from COVID. At the wake, one of my cousins (who is my aunt's age) was asking me about my grandfather's house, which was the source of the argument at his funeral. I said something casual about how my mother rents it out and it's in good shape. I thought it was just a casual conversation, but according to my mother and my older sister, this cousin was most likely fishing for information for my aunt... I have no idea who or what to believe. This comment about him fishing for information really upset me. :( I'm the second youngest of like 50 cousins and I don't really trust these people!
I want to talk to my aunt before she dies, but I'm scared that it will somehow get back to my mother and/or my siblings, and they will do something... I don't even know what they would do! They've only showed up to my house once since I cut contact, so I think this is one of my child parts being scared/hyper-vigilant.
I have EMDR on Friday and plan to use some of the time to discuss it with my therapist, but I was hoping someone else from this community would have experience with a similar situation... I just need advice from my peers and the handful of friends I have with CPTSD are youngehaven't been through as many family deaths as I have .... I went to a funeral every year growing up. I don't want to look back and regret not seeing my aunt before she passes. I don't totally trust her, but I do miss her and love her!
I HATE THIS DIAGNOSIS... I WISH MY FAMILY WAS "NORMAL"! ;-)
Thank you to anyone who read this far. Have a great day and stay safe! <3