Hi guys, I've had this itch to play something similar to the original Farmville. Specifically the part where I could choose what plants to grow based on the time it took to grow.
Back in the day I would choose an 8 hour crop to grow while I was at work, then I would come home, harvest, spend some money on upgrades/decor, then plant another crop for a time I would be able to check in again.
I'm at a point where I am so busy I can't sit and play a game like Animal Crossing or Stardew, I really only have a few minutes at a time, so I'm hoping there's something like this out there.

https://lordnorden.idleonefficiency.com
First, farming. As I understand it, the strategy is to grow new crops until your odds of the next crop Evo are low. Then you farm some magic beans, buy the upgrades, then you build up a stock of crops to take advantage of the night market upgrades to increase your odds of crop Evo then you work towards unlocking that next crop.
My big question is whether it is worth it for me to shoot for getting 1,000 of each crop for the farming speed or if it's better to just stick with getting 200 of each crop for the Evo chance. Based on where I'm at. Do I need the farming speed at this point? Because getting 1,000 of each crop takes 5x as long as just going down the list to get 200 of each crop.
Next, sneaking. I've unlocked the final floor. Never done mastery, but I have the rift fully completed. Seems like it would take me a long time to take down that final door and my detection rate is still very high on the final floor. What items should I be grinding for, what should I equip to my party, and when do I know I'm ready to take down that final door and do the mastery?

We're finishing off the C heroes today, and it's a big one! Like I said back in my Axe writeup, there are some heroes Valve likes to feature more than others, and this lovely lady's one of their favorites. Today's hero is Rylai, the Crystal Maiden!

Able to keep her allies supplied with mana as she slows down enemies to ensure a kill, Crystal Maiden is a helpful addition to any team. And, when the opportunity arises, she can unleash her massive ultimate ability to devastate her foes.

Official website page.
Dota 2 Wiki page.
Attribute: Intelligence
Canon Alignment: Radiant
Official lore:

Born in a temperate realm, raised with her fiery older sister Lina, Rylai the Crystal Maiden soon found that her innate elemental affinity to ice created trouble for all those around her. Wellsprings and mountain rivers froze in moments if she stopped to rest nearby; ripening crops were bitten by frost, and fruiting orchards turned to mazes of ice and came crashing down, spoiled. When their exasperated parents packed Lina off to the equator, Rylai found herself banished to the cold northern realm of Icewrack, where she was taken in by an Ice Wizard who had carved himself a hermitage at the crown of the Blueheart Glacier. After long study, the wizard pronounced her ready for solitary practice and left her to take his place, descending into the glacier to hibernate for a thousand years. Her mastery of the Frozen Arts has only deepened since that time, and now her skills are unmatched.

Artifact lore:

'Warden of Icewrack.' It's a fancy title. In theory it means I'm responsible for maintaining law and order, collaborating with the Sapphire Conclave on magical crimes, and protecting the weak from all manners of nasty things. In practice I help farmers fix fences. So I decided to go on a little sabbatical. Besides... I couldn't stay in Icewrack. It's cold. It's boring. And I heard my sister was planning on visiting so I definitely had to get the hell outta there.

Arcana lore:

Some say the garment began as the wedding gown of an ancient queen. Others say it was once a battle cloak of a frost ogre. In truth, the enchanted fabric is as malleable as an avalanche, and can mold itself into various forms. This form has attracted a lone wolf pup, who has now become a hardy and loyal companion.

Persona lore:

Only the strongest of mages can endure the teachings that unlock the hidden powers of the Blueheart. Those who dare try have but one choice of master — an ageless avatar whose very first lesson is that success earns only obligation, and failure opens the door to a lonely death.

Voice actors:
Crystal Maiden has not one, but four different voice actors! In Dota 2 and Dota Underlords, she's voiced by Gin Hammond, who also voices Drow Ranger, Enchantress, Mirana, Phantom Assassin, Spectre, and Vengeful Spirit.
In Artifact, Crystal Maiden is voiced by Melanie Minichino. It's unclear why Gin Hammond didn't reprise the role, as she did for all her other relevant heroes in Artifact.
The Conduit of the Bluehart Persona is voiced by Keri Tombazian.
Finally, in Dota: Dragon's Blood she was voiced by Julie Nathanson.
...And I guess technically SirActionSlacks played her. Let's not count that.
Other appearances:

• Crystal Maiden appears as a Blue hero (Path of the Wise) in both Artifact Classic and Artifact Foundry, with Frostbite as her signature card in both versions.
• Appears as a Tier One hero in Dota Underlords, with the Human and Mage alliances.
• Crystal Maiden starred in the comic The New Neighbors, where she met Winter Wyvern and received her arcana.
• Made a brief cameo arguing with Lina in The Sundered Moon.
• Ran with the Year Beast in the New Bloom 2015 trailer.
• Fights with Lina in the original Gamescom trailer.
• And finally, plays a recurring role in the second season of Dota: Dragon's Blood.

Other notes:

• Crystal Maiden and Lina are sisters. They don't like each other very much.
• Crystal Maiden is from Icewrack, the same region as Tusk and Winter Wyvern. She and Tusk were apparently childhood friends, while she'd meet Winter Wyvern later in life and receive her arcana from her hoard.
• She seems to have a crush on Sven.
• Her Dota 1 model was Jaina Proudmoore.

tl;dr - reliable talent and abilities that make it so that being good at a thing means you no longer engage with the mechanics of the thing are bad design, boring to play, and are an anticlimactic reward for specialising in a specific fantasy.
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I am the forever DM for my friendgroup and have ran 5e for its entire lifespan, and ran 3.5e for many years prior to that. Over the years I have encountered quite a few issues relating to a specific kind of design that crops up in various places in 5e that result in problematic play patterns in game and I would like to hear the communities thoughts on them in an effort to try and crystalise my thoughts on it and see if there is a good way to "fix" the problem.
The poster child for this design problem is the Rogue's "Reliable Talent" ability, though it does crop up in other, less obvious places. So to start lets look at reliable talent as it is presented in the PHB:

Reliable Talent

By 11th level, you have refined your chosen skills until they approach perfection. Whenever you make an ability check that lets you add your proficiency bonus, you can treat a d20 roll of 9 or lower as a 10.
Seems pretty neat right? Rogues are the "skill monkeys" of 5e and this ability means that they are reliably really good at their skills of choice. Let me be clear, my issue here is NOT that this ability is overpowered. I have seen a fair few threads/posts/rants over the years complaining that this ability is OP because it means the rogue never fails any of us DM's precious skill tests. If I were to replace reliable talent, it would be with something that is on par or better. So wheres the problem? Well, it comes in the play pattern this produces. Lets say I want to play a skill monkey rogue and make being good at skills the thing my character does. I get to 11th level and gain reliable talent to make me the ultimate skill monkey, huzzah!! Well now I no longer actually engage with mechanics of skills in a meaningful capacity ever again. Any skill that isn't EXTREMELY difficult is an automatic success, I literally may as well not roll. The mechanics for how I excel at this pillar of the game mean I functionally hand wave it and am no longer playing the game.
This is similar to the issues that the 2014 Ranger had with its "Natural Explorer" ability:

Natural Explorer

You are particularly familiar with one type of natural environment and are adept at traveling and surviving in such regions. Choose one type of favored terrain: arctic, coast, desert, forest, grassland, mountain, swamp, or the Underdark. When you make an Intelligence or Wisdom check related to your favored terrain, your proficiency bonus is doubled if you are using a skill that you're proficient in.
While traveling for an hour or more in your favored terrain, you gain the following benefits:
Difficult terrain doesn't slow your group's travel.
Your group can't become lost except by magical means.
Even when you are engaged in another activity while traveling (such as foraging, navigating, or tracking), you remain alert to danger.
If you are traveling alone, you can move stealthily at a normal pace.
When you forage, you find twice as much food as you normally would.
While tracking other creatures, you also learn their exact number, their sizes, and how long ago they passed through the area.
This ability is supposed to make the Ranger the party member who excels at exploration, navigation, and overland travel, but what it actually does is say "you get to ignore these mechanics now" and the Ranger player never actually engages with the one thing their class fantasy is meant to be built around.
The Barbarian has perhaps the most awful version of this with "Indomitable Might":

Beginning at 18th level (EIGHTEENTH EFFING LEVEL!!), if your total for a Strength check is less than your Strength score, you can use that score in place of the total.

So my hulking barbarian gets to embody the fantasy of being the biggest strongest badass around by basically never having to roll a strength check again. Great /s
The problem isn't that its too strong, or that it makes ability checks too easy. The problem is that in each case the reward for being good at a specific element of the game is that you no longer have to do it. It just happens. It would be like a fighter having an ability that said "when you make an attack against a creature who's CR is lower than X, you just kill it. Dont bother rolling". I dont know about you, but that sounds boring AF to me. I just think its bad design for mastery over a mechanic to mean you ignore it.
I would much rather have an ability that meant I could do things with skills that other people couldn't. Maybe you can pick a lock or disarm a trap as a bonus action, maybe knowledge checks grant you or others bonuses on future actions that act on that knowledge, maybe acrobatics gives you some proper circus trapese artist tricks. I remember back in 3.5 there was a system for Skill Tricks that was pretty cool, I think something like that would be an excellent reward for high investment into skills.
I have followed the OneDnD playtest stuff all the way through and WotC doesn't seem to have any issue with this design and is continuing with both reliable talent and Indomitable Might, so if I and my players want to see a change here its going to be up to us to homebrew it. So with all that said, what does DnD5e think about this? I am keen to hear other peoples' perspective here.

ok, so, I haven’t seen many people talking about it, but the new loading screen items are really getting me hyped for the city, and I’ve been prepared for screenshots every time I open the app, except for just now, simple collecting crops, I’m all tired, and of COURSE that’s when I get a new item, so I don’t have a picture of it (insert Natto face here…) but it was a bento box! I had a second to quick read it while I scrambled to screenshot it (whyyyyy me) and it was something about culinary mastery I believe? Anyway make sure to keep an eye out when opening the app in case you get a sneaky city item on the loading screen!

3RD BIRTHDAY EVENT STARTS SUNDAY! - To celebrate Farm RPG's 3rd Birthday we'll be holding an event starting Sunday, May 12th - Thursday, May 16th - Enjoy +20% more Skill XP! - Enjoy +20% more Silver when selling at Farmer's Market! - Enjoy +20% towards Item Mastery! - Enjoy +20% more Friendship XP! - Enjoy +20% faster crop growing times! - Enjoy extra fish when fishing manually! - Enjoy a number of Special Help Requests! - There will be a special 3rd birthday piñata you'll be able to hit daily for some nice prizes! - From 5/12 - 5/16 there will also be a sale on expanding your inventory cap for Gold. This only happens twice a year, so take advantage of the discount!
3RD BIRTHDAY GIVEAWAYS! - Keep an eye on the Farm RPG Facebook and Reddit for a giveaway being held! - It's an easy to chance to win some Gold and Starter Pack items - NOTE: They aren't posted yet, but soon!
SMALL UPDATES - If you have any truffles (partially in BETA), they will show up at the top of your Pig Pen now - In the Vault, players that get All Lucky 7's that day (code 7777) will show up in a list near the bottom - Bug fixes and additions

Since i finally got done with getting the farming crop slots and didnt need any additional sailing max loots past 20, nor brimstone slots past 4 atm, i thought i would finally start spring cleaning for a more `permanent` 3D print loadout, since if i recall correctly, the sailing artifact relic only resets if you take a `new sample`, not when `updating` an existing one.
Though i still got 4 more slots to pick up, i currently have 3 mages (BC2 ES1), 3 warriors (BB2 DK1), 3 archers (SB2, BM1) and Vman. I`ve already been making fantastic progress on cleaning up most of the vial masteries with only around 36 or ones that are `realistic` to do (RIP Hampter, Pearler shell, bob joe pickle and arcade pickle) so im just curious what kind of resources outside of the usual ones others like to lock in for each unit.
Outside of my BM and V-man that i mostly regulate to 3D prints for the salt refinery, i usually tend to just have all 3 mages on log duty, One Warrior focused on feesh and the other 2 Warriors doing mostly ore and maybe feesh if needed for say, Stamps or Vial mastery. While the last 2 archers are just on catching.
I`m still in the middle of brainstorming what prints i want to aim for locking in since i only got 6 nodes per character atm, but if you have your own fancy suggestions, likely for certain bubbles or stamps that shine really strongly later in the end game, suggestions are always nice.
Though ust to give a rough ball idea (might need to update the prints), My main mage prints around 470 million oak logs an hour per node, while for effie logs its 1.48million an hour per node.
Just to give a further example: I`m thinking of goin with for the mages: Oak Log, Birch Log, Forest Fiber, Jungle log, Tundra log, Maple log, Effie log, maybe bamboo logs...
Mostly because the other 8 out of 16, seem to have no need for extensive 3D prints, especially after vial mastery is done or the only thing that would likely ask for mass quantities after gear pick ups would be a stamp that ends up being redundant as just giving an exp % bonus that becomes mostly pointless to grind in the late game, especially after level 100.
So that kind of leaves the remaining 8 as having a stamp or alchemy bubble that can make good use of it, part of world 6 gear or a useful salt grind, outside of the usual 3D prints.
EDIT: Though i appreciate the clarification of some people about that sailing artifact, its a bit silly to take out of context part of what i said in that sentence. Never the less, the point is more to spring clean the useful prints and reduce the amount of times i need to keep constantly changing prints out.
Also, maybe Lava should tweak it so updated prints would not over-ride the relic(only when adding new prints to the nodes), or maybe include a jade emporium upgrade that REMOVES the reset feature...
Honestly now this is making me think i need to see how long it takes to make Divine Knight`s: King of the Remembered do very `useful` improvements to 3D printer output boosting.~ Certainly making me want to not stop at 300 for the WarrioMage/Archer talent bubbles and maybe push the Warrior one up to 500 in the alchemy bitties.

Penny's Pursuit week 220 featuring Electrici-tea: "Power Outage"
Duration: from the 28th April to the 5th May 2024
Rift event: 802
Zombies are Level 2, Level 4, Level 6 when you play Levels 1 and 5, i.e in BBT Playground. Zombies are Level 1, Level 4, Level 7 when you play Levels 2, 3 and 4.
Perks: Crop Duster (Creates Chili Bean every Xs), Quick Delivery, Penny Multi-Shield, Boost Tile, Traffic Jam, Stall Zombies, Boss Buster
Number of Perk lvls: 63
N.B: This PP event is a new set of levels: it features 2 BBT classic levels, 2 Conveyor levels (FC and PP Playgrounds) and 1 Last Stand lvl in JM. None of the levels are new though.
LEVEL 1: Classic lvl in BBT Playground
Lvl reference: #209
Objective: Survive 3 waves
Bonus objectives: - Produce 1500 sun - Produce 2250 sun + Never have more than 20 plants - Produce 3500 sun + Necer have more than 15 plants
Zombies: Backyard Big Top (basic, Conehead, Buckethead, Carnie Imp, Stiltwalker)
Features: - 3 DA Sunned Graves: C8-L3, C4-L3, C3-L3 - 2 DA Pf Graves: C9-L3, C6-L3
Restricted Plants: Power Mints, Blover
Starting sun: 400
Sun drop: none
Roaming zombies: Carnie basic & Conehead
Plant food zombie: - 1 Stiltwalker before wave 1 - 1 zombie after wave 1 - 2 Stiltwalkers before wave 3
Zombie Setup: - 1 basic on L2, L3 & L4 - 1 Stiltwalker on L3 - Wave 1: 1 Stiltwalker on L3, 1 Carnie Flag zombie - 1 Stiltwalker on L3 + 1 Carnie Imp - 1 basic on L2 + 1 Buckethead on L4 - Wave 2: 1 Stiltwalker on L3, 1 Conehead, 1 Carnie Flag zombie - 1 Stiltwalker on L3 + 1 Buckethead - 2 Stiltwalkers on L3 - Last wave: 2 Stiltwalkers, 1 Carnie Flag zombie
Zombie Rate: On Hot and Extra-Hot, Bucketheads have a 50% chance to switch with Carnie Imps.
Note: - very easy, focus your attack on L3 where the main threat is (Stiltwalker). - take Grave Buster or Boingsetta or Tomb Tangler to clean L3 and plant more offensive plants - very easy Bonus objectives: take at least 2 sun producers on Extra-hot or you might end short with the sun obj, e.g Gold Bloom + Shine Vine/Sun-shroom. - Olive Pit can't swallow Stiltwalker if he's still on his stilts, same for Chomper, Toadstool and Shadow Peashooter. - Best perk: Penny Multi-Shield or Boost Tile - Mid perks: Crop Duster and Stall Zombies - Bad perk: Traffic Jam
LEVEL 2: Conveyor lvl in FC Playground
Lvl reference: #92
Objective: Survive 4 waves
Bonus objectives: - Don't let the zombies trample the flowers - Don't let the zombies trample the flowers + Ash zombies 25 times - Don't let the zombies trample the flowers + Ash zombies 25 times
Zombies: Frostbite Caves (basic, cone, bucket, Blockhead, Yeti Imp, Hunter), ZCorp (basic, cone), Jetpack
Plants given: up to 10 Fire Peashooters, up to 15 Repeaters, up to 10 Pea Pods
Features: - 5 frozen Wallnuts on C6 - 3 frozen Yeti Imps on C5-L1/3/5 - Flowers on C3-4 - regular Cold winds on all lanes
Plant food zombie: - 1 basic zombie at the very beginning - 1 basic zombie on the 1st wave - 1 Jetpack zombie between waves 1 and 2 - 1 Hunter on wave 2 - 1 Hunter on wave 3 - 1 Hunter on wave 4
Zombie Setup: - 2 Jetpacks between waves 1 and 2 - 2 Hunters and 3 Jetpacks on wave 2 - 4 Hunters on wave 3 - 5 Hunters on the last wave
Note: - Pretty hard lvl, especially with low lvl plants. - Best perk to use: Penny Multi-Shield to stall zombies while damaging them with Fire Pea, or Quick Delivery - Mid perks: Boost Tile and Crop Duster. The first one is great when paired with Fire Pea to ash multiple zombies at once but careful with the bonus objective. The 2nd one is ok, just need to pray for a good placement of those Chili Beans. - Bad perks: Stall Zombies and Traffic Jam
LEVEL 3: Conveyor lvl in PP Playground
Lvl reference: #33
Objective: Survive 3 waves
Bonus objectives: - Butter Zombies 100 times - Butter Zombies 100 times + Don't let the zombies trample the flowers - Butter Zombies 100 times + Don't let the zombies trample the flowers
Zombies: Neon Mixtape Tour basic, Ancient Rome (Conehead, Buckethead, Shield, Imp, Healer, Gladiator Garg), Pharaoh, Prospector
Features: Flowers on C3-4 on Hot, on C4-5 on Extra-hot
Plants given: - Common Chance (20): at least 2 Phat Beets - Common Chance (20): Kernel-pult - Low Chance (10) from Group 4: up to 5 Full grown Ultomatos
Roaming zombies: Excavator, Chicken Wrangler from Group 4
Plant food zombie: 1 after wave 2
Zombie Setup: - 1 basic + 1 Healer - 1 basic + 1 Pharaoh - 1 basic - Wave 1: 1 basic, 1 Pharaoh, 2 Healers, 1 ZCorp Flag zombie - 1 basic - 1 basic + 1 Pharaoh + 1 Healer - 1 basic - Wave 2: 1 Prospector on each lane, 1 basic, 1 Pharaoh, 1 ZCorp Flag zombie - 2 Prospectors (L2, L4) + 1 basic + 1 Pharaoh - 1 basic + 3 Prospectors (L1, L3, L5) - 1 basic + 1 Pharaoh + 2 Prospectors (L2, L4) - Last wave: 1 Prospector on each lane, 1 Gladiator Garg, 1 Pharaoh, 1 basic, 1 ZCorp Flag zombie
Zombie Rate: - On Mild: - basic have a 50% chance to switch with Imps - Pharaoh has a 50% chance to switch with Conehead - Prospector has a 50% chance to switch with Roman Shield - On Hot: - basic can switch with Imp and Conehead in a 1:1:1 ratio - Pharaoh can switch to Buckethead or Centurion with a 1:1:1 ratio - Prospector has a 33% chance to switch with Healer - On Extra-hot: - basic have a 50% chance to switch with Coneheads - Pharaoh have a 50% chance to switch with Centurion - Prospector have a 50% chance to switch with Healer
Note: - easy lvl if you have a high lvl Phat Beet - just need to pay attention to Chickens but when it comes to protect flowers it's quite doable - easy Bonus objectives unless you have a high mastery Kernel-pult like I do - Best perk: Quick Delivery or Boost Tile. The 1st one is quite great to put down any plants on the board fast while the 2nd one is very useful to complete the bonus objective when paired with Kernel-pult. - Mid perk: Penny Multi-Shield to hold zombies, e.g it's especially useful against Chickens - Bad perk: Crop Duster, Stall Zombies, Traffic Jam
LEVEL 4: Normal lvl in JM Playground
Lvl reference: #59
Objective: Survive 4 Waves
Bonus objectives: - Protect the endangered plants - Protect the endangered plants + Stun Zombies 150 times - Protect the endangered plants + Stun Zombies 150 times
Zombies: Ancient Rome (basic, cone, bucket, Centurion, Zcorpion, Gladiator Garg), Jurassic Marsh (Fossilehead, Bully, Rockpuncher)
Restricted plants: none
Dinosaurs: Raptor, Pterodactyl, "the green one" speeding zombies
Features: 2 Witch Hazel on C3-L2/4 as endangered plants
Plant food zombie: 4 random basic zombies
Note: - Pick "Boost Tile" perk to maximize your chance of success. Pair it with Imppear or sbr. - To stun zombies, just use Draftodil or Blockoli or MayBee or BoomBerry. - Gladiator Garg and Zcorpion only appear on Extra-hot. Gargs appear from the 2nd wave. 4 Zcorpions came in on the last wave. - No real issues just need to handle carefully zombies and be careful with dinos. - Best perk: Penny Multi-Shield or Boost Tile - Mid perks: Stall Zombies and Crop Duster. Remember, Chili Bean can stun zombies following the zombie that ate it. - Bad perk: Traffic Jam
LEVEL 5: Classic lvl in BBT Playground
Lvl reference: #213
Objective: Survive 1 wave
Bonus objectives: - Don't lose more than 10 plants - Don't lose more than 10 plants + Don't let the zombies trample the flowers - Don't lose more than 6 plants + Don't let the zombies trample the flowers
Zombies: Backyard Big Top (basic, Conehead, Buckethead, Imp, Imp Twins, Stiltwalker, Firebreather, Strongman Garg)
Restricted Plants: Power Mints, Blover
Features: - 3 Explode-O-Nuts on C3-L2/4, C5-L5 - 4 MD 'Slider-Down' on C4-L1/3, C8-L2/4 - 4 MD 'Slider-Up' on C6-L2/5 - Flowers on C2-3 on Hot and on C4-5 on Extra-hot
Starting sun: 550
Sun drop: none
Roaming zombies: Carnie basic
Plant food zombies: - 1 basic as first zombie - 1 zombie near the beginning - 1 Stiltwalker around half of the lvl - 1 zombie before the wave - 1 zombie on the wave
Zombie Setup: - 3 basic (L1, L3, L4) - 3 basic (L1, L2, L4) - 2 Bucketheads (L1, L4) + 1 Conehead on L3 - 1 Buckethead on L2 + 2 Coneheads (L1, L3) - 3 Stiltwalkers (L2, L4, ~) - 3 Firebreathers (L1, L3, L4) - 2 Firebreathers (L1, ~) + 1 Conehead on L2 - 3 Carnie Imp Twins (L1, L2, L4) - Big wave: 3 Carnie Imp Twins (L2, L3, L4), 1 Strongman Garg, 1 Carnie Flag zombie
Zombie Rate: on Hot and Extra-Hot Bucketheads have a 50% chance to switch with Carnie Imps
Note: - easy lvl but in terms of objectives it might be the hardest out of the 5 levels of the event - if you fear that the Explode-O-Nut on L5 is gonna be destroyed, you can protect it with Pumpkin - if you wonder how to get rid of Carnie Imp Twins easily without risking that flowers get trampled, just pick Draftodil and Bye bye Imps! - Best perk: Penny Multi-Shield or Boost Tile - Mid perk: Stall Zombies for what it's worth - Bad perk: Traffic Jam and Crop Duster. You don't wanna use that last one cause you'd risk failing the bonus objective.
ZOMBOSS LEVEL: Zombot Tomorrow-tron [Setup 2]
Locked plant: Electrici-tea
Rewards: 10 seeds, 15 seeds, 20 seeds for Electrici-tea, 5-7 gems per attempt
Zomboss Health: 7, 9, 11
Zombies lvl: 5, 8, 11
Plant slots: 7 on all difficulties
Amount of sun: 1800, 1600, 1350
Zombies: Far Future (basic, cone, bucket, Holo-head, Bug Bot Imp, Mecha Football, Jetpack, Blastronaut)
Restricted plants: none
Features: - Dave's mold colonies from C7 to C9. Also on C6 on Extra-hot. - 5 Yellow FF Power Tiles on C1-L2/4, C3-L3, C4-L1/5 initially - 5 Green FF Power Tiles on C5 switch regularly with the Yellow FF Power Tiles (20-25s) - Bot Swarm with 4 Bug Bot Imps every 20-25s
Plant food zombie: 6 or 7 through the match
Zombie Setup: - many Jetpacks/Blastronauts - quite a few Mecha Football - many Holo-heads
Some strats: - the usual Pea Vine, torch and any other plants, would suggest appease-mint - TG, sbr, enforce-mint, and a vine - BB, Pea Vine, appease-mint, any other plant. - Sbr, 3P, Pea Vine and TG - a new Arma family strat: Sling Pea, Blastberry Vine, Solar Sage, Arma-mint, Apple Mortar, Blover - WW, Snap Pea, Enforce-mint, TG, Guacodile - Ice-shroom, Wintermelon, Wintermint, Power Vine, Solar Sage - Electric Peashooter, Power Vine, Lightning Reed, Fila-mint, Shine Vine
Note: - You can get rid of many zombies (Jetpacks, Bug Bot Imps) using Blover - Any long range attacker is viable: Pokra, TG, Bamboo Spartan, Wasabi Whip, as long as you pick the mint with it if it is low lvl.
P.S: - nice PP event, we get to face Carnie zombies in 2 levels so it's quite great, it changes from ZCorp and Roman zombies - Best lvl to farm perks: lvl 1 or 3 - Best lvl to farm ZPS: lvl 2 or 4 - Lvl to avoid: lvl 2 or lvl 5 depends on your plants lvl - Check previous and upcoming PP events, lvl and potw, as well as Arena Tournament infos: - Come join our PvZ 2 Discord server: - I'll see you next week for PP week 221 featuring another Electric plant, meant to be eaten in order to emit lightning bolts between zombies, dealing damage and slowing them down for a short period of time: Bzzz Button

I maxed out the mastery on Farming (99 mastery on all base, AoD, and TotH content) without getting a second relic (was stuck at level 85). I only just got my second farming relic after beating Impending Darkness and hitting 99. It feels like if I keep farming consistently on cooldown, focusing on my fastest crops, I should eventually get a relic after 103 days, but I still only have the two guaranteed ones.
Has everyone else had this experience or am I just unlucky?

I got the Qi's Crop quest at the first of the month and figured I would tackle the daunting task which I previously avoided.
I had the idea to use the new Treasure Totem from the Forgery Mastery which spawns up to 16 artifact spots. Qi Beans are not a guarantee drop from artifact spots, but I believe I was getting 3-5 per spot and about 9-18 per item use. I'm unsure if/ how daily luck may affect how often qi beans drop.
I was able to end day 1 with 73 qi beans growing. I could definitely see using several of these to complete this quest by potentially end of day 3 with DSG and Agriculturist!
Bonus screenshot!
https://preview.redd.it/ydn4kyhod5xc1.jpg?width=2560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8318ada8887e3a331afdb759a902d7d087cfa1fd

I just saw that the update nerfed Farming experience for mastery by 50% and I think it’s hilarious because it’s so relevant to our multiplayer farm! My friend and I unlocked Mastery very close together (after he did some intensive wild seed farming for foraging exp, which unbeknownst to us was ALSO nerfed), but I think I had every Mastery level unlocked within two more weeks of gameplay while he was still at level 2. We figured out it’s because I’m in charge of farming while he does most of the mining runs. So I was getting thousands of points from our regular crops, plus our greenhouse full of ancient fruit, plus our giant island pineapple farm. After I maxed out I ended up lending my iridium scythe to my friend and sure enough, he leveled up every time that pineapple field grew back. I’m glad we both maxed out before this update came 😛 (We also got our first Ancient Seeds from the traveling cart just before the 1.6.3 update removed this possibility).

Meanwhile, a new village was forming that would also be making unreasonable demands upon my time (and dignity).
The following Monday evening, I met Paul Betz at O’Riordans again to finalize the schedule of my impending, part time servitude to him and Anna. Given Luke’s and Brooke’s schedules (she was still waitressing at the restaurant three to four days a week at this point), it was decided that every Thursday afternoon I would present myself at their condo with a specific set of cleaning supplies and then clean it from top to bottom. I would be expected to wash and fold their laundry for the week as well. We also decided that the third Tuesday of each month would be the target date for me to spend a minimum of four hours at their apartment preparing and serving them dinner and completing any other miscellaneous chores I was assigned. Paul brought along some clothes of his and Anna’s for me to take to the dry cleaners that afternoon. I was to pick up the clothes and bring them on Thursday when I showed up to clean for the first time.
It was left unsaid but was understood that I would be responsible for paying for the cleaning supplies and dry cleaning (and, later, for the food I prepared for them and their friends). That this was primarily another form of control and domination became clear when I showed up at their condo for the first time. At 2300 square feet (considerably larger than Brooke’s and my house), the condo was in a luxury high rise building that had been built a few years earlier in the town adjacent to the college. It was without question the most upscale residential building in the area with a large inground pool and gym on the third floor. I learned that Paul was a trust fund kid from an affluent family in northern New Jersey. Anna was also the product of a privileged upbringing and clearly fancied herself a princess. Paul’s parents had purchased him the condo as well as his BMW. So they didn’t need me to buy them anything; in fact, the financial sacrifices I made to do so, while not huge, were clearly noticeable on my professor’s salary. I was a serf paying tithes to my feudal lord and lady. And like the budding Medieval literature scholars they were, that’s exactly how they referred to me (at least some of the time).
My servitude to Paul and Anna was qualitatively different than my servitude to Brooke and Luke. For one thing, it was the first time that my subjugation was involuntary. I suppose one could argue that I was so in thrall to Brooke that my servitude to her — and, by extension, to Luke — was not entirely voluntary either. But, in fact, it was. As Brooke made clear, not following through on my vow of being willing to subjugate myself to her lover would result in me losing her, but that was still my decision to make (unthinkable as it may be). By contrast, I was being blackmailed by Paul. Failure to comply with his demands could very well result in me losing my job, not to mention in widespread public exposure, and ridicule. Those aspects ultimately proved to be academic (no pun intended), as you will learn, but I did not know that at the time, and they were powerful motivators in my early capitulation.
Another way it was different is that it did not involve the direct participation of Brooke. And while Anna certainly made her presence known to me — in ways that were routinely humiliating and often painful — it was Paul who really pulled my strings. So, although Luke was clearly my primary master, he held that position by virtue of his hold over Brooke. By contrast, Paul’s mastery of me was a more straightforward affair.
Our relationship was different for Paul and Anna as well. The other three submissives in their stable (all of whom I was eventually to meet and serve alongside at various times) were their contemporaries. As Paul pointed out at our initial meeting at the pub, I was old enough to be their father. The fact that they had an older authority figure under their thumbs, or to be more accurate, under their feet, was an endless source of amusement to them. This was reflected in some of their many nicknames for me: old man, professor page boy, professor serf, professor pantyboy, Dr. Deviant, professor pet, professor maid, Dr. Cuck, the old loser, etc. Another distinction was that their relationships with their other submissives were more or less consensual, I believe — closer in nature to my relationship with Brooke and Luke. They were driven by sexual obsession, masochism or possibly even some twisted form of love (or some combination of the above) on the part of their supplicants. And by what on the part of Paul and Anna? Sadism? Entertainment? Brooke would probably say they were driven by their love of the game. As an inveterate masochist, it was difficult for me to get into their heads. In any case, I was somewhat of an experiment for the young sadists; perhaps they had concluded that some form of coercion was required to ensnare the older victim they coveted.
When the doorman asked me my name that Thursday afternoon during the third week of November when I first showed up at their condo in my jeans and L.L. Bean jacket, mop and bucket in hand, I answered simply, “Walter.”
“Walter who?”
“Just Walter, please.”
“Mr. Betz, a Walter to see you. He doesn’t want to give his last name.”
The doorman was a skinny guy, roughly my age, dressed in a traditional doorman’s uniform such as one would routinely see on the Upper East Side of Manhattan (which somehow seemed a little absurd to me in a small city in Ohio, but Neil would probably say that observation was yet another manifestation of my elitism).
He smirked at me. “He said you must be the new maid. He said in the future that you should announce yourself that way — the maid — to avoid any confusion. Apartment 11B. The elevator is around the corner.” He spoke in a dismissive tone, thus establishing the hierarchy of servants in the building.
When I rang the doorbell to 11B, Paul answered it. He was dressed in a T-shirt, sweatpants and sweatsocks.
Would this be the point when Paul said, “Hi Professor Rollins This is all just an elaborate practical joke. Thanks for being such a good sport about it. Welcome to our home. Let me get you a drink.”, or something to that effect? Not that I really thought that was likely, but I did allow myself to hope momentarily.
Those hopes were quickly dashed when Paul said, Get on your knees.“
I looked at him, unbelieving, and said, “Out here? In the hall?”
“Yes, out here. I expect you to be waiting on your knees every time you come here until we open the door. You might consider getting yourself some kneepads, since you’re going to be spending a lot of time on your knees when you’re here.“
“But what if one of your neighbors sees me?”, I said, looking around the hallway apprehensively.
“How do you address me? That’s twice you’ve fucked up already.”
“Sorry, sir. But what if your neighbors see me, sir?”
“That’s really not my concern. But you shouldn’t worry too much about it. We only have two neighbors on this floor and, believe me, they’ve seen a lot more memorable things than someone kneeling at our doorway. They’re cool with it. And none of them have any connection to the college. At least none that I’m aware of.”
I dropped to my knees and looked up at him, now perversely hoping that he would admit me into the apartment as quickly as possible.
“You may enter. Shuffle on your knees.” I did as he commanded. He then inspected the contents of my bucket: Murphy’s Oil Soap, Lysol All Purpose Cleaner, scrubbing brushes, sponges. “Everything seems to be here. Where are our dry cleaned clothes?”
“In my car, sir. I didn’t want to wrinkle them, sir, with my hands full. Shall I get them now, sir?”
“No, you can get them later. Now stand up and strip.”
Incredibly ashamed, I removed all of my clothes but for my sheer white panties, the metal of my chastity cage clearly visible beneath the delicate fabric. At that moment, Anna came down the stairs of what was obviously a duplex condo.
”Fancy meeting you here, Professor Rollins!”, she giggled.
My cock throbbed uncomfortably in its cage. How could something so incomprehensibly humiliating — standing in skimpy female undergarments and a chastity device, in a position of utter powerlessness, before two of my students — be arousing? Yet it undoubtedly was, and the shame of it brought tears to my eyes.
Anna was dressed similarly to Paul except she was wearing tight, black yoga pants as opposed to his loose fitting sweatpants. About 5’ 8” tall with what I could see was a slender, athletic build, she had straight, long blonde hair. I later learned that she was co-captain of our college’s women’s volleyball team. In class I had noticed that she was attractive, of course, but I had never really taken stock of her until that moment. Since Brooke had entered my life, I had quite consciously paid less attention to the attractive students in my classes; why did I need to fantasize about any of them when I was married to my dreamgirl? However, as I regarded Anna that afternoon, it was clear that she was a quite lovely, sexy, young woman. I would soon come to learn that she had the imperious sneer and contemptuous smile down pat. Perhaps these qualities were not attractive to everyone, but to a masochistic male such as myself, they were quite alluring. I had to reluctantly admit that she and Paul made a remarkably attractive couple. A quite formidable one too, especially when it came to tormenting people with submissive natures. People like me.
For my book, I had been researching a fetish, sort of an offshoot or variation of the cuckold fetish, that had been rapidly growing in popularity recently in online forums and on social media: submissive men in service to “alpha couples,” who were typically young, attractive, athletic and dominant. Characteristically, the physically inferior, submissive male in such a relationship suffers from unrequited love for the female member of the couple, his “crush,” and simply accepts that a more deserving rival is worthy of her affections. This acceptance may happen after he is dumped by her (usually before the passive creature even makes it to first base), but just as frequently she makes it crystal clear from the very start of their relationship that he will never be more than her friend (or even her simp). It then becomes his duty to serve not only the object of his unrequited affection but to also serve the man whose affections she does return. Sometimes the rejected “beta male” is kept around by the woman in “the friendzone,” almost like a neutered pet whose presence is tolerated by the alpha male because he so obviously represents no threat. At the other extreme, the rejected male becomes a virtual slave to the couple, performing demeaning chores for them or even buying things for them in a form of financial servitude. Interestingly, in these extreme cases, the beta male sometimes develops a worshipful sexual attraction to the alpha male as well; surely the physical attributes that win the heart, and bed, of his beloved are worthy of his desire, too? And not only the physical attributes. Also the alpha male’s confidence, his dominance, perhaps even his cruelty. Usually, such relationships fall somewhere between these two ends of the spectrum. However, as you can see, many similarities to the chivalric love triangle and to certain types of cuckolding relationships.
Well, Paul and Anna were right out of central casting for the types of alpha couples I had been reading so much about. In fact, I later discovered that two of the other submissives in their stable almost precisely fit the description I just gave of servants to such couples. One was a young man, Issac, who was hopelessly in love with Anna but who had grown quite abjectly devoted to Paul as well. The other was more unusual, a female “friendzoned” by Paul, who had quite enthusiastically embraced her role as Anna’s lackey and doormat. This individual, Cindy, was a variant of a submissive cuckquean. Issac and Cindy differed from true cuckolds and true cuckqueans in that they had never had a sexual relationship with their beloved to begin with. In that way, one could argue that they were even more pathetic than I was. Never fear, Paul and Anna found creative ways of making me feel inferior to them as well.
“Well, aren’t you going to say hello?”, asked Anna.
“It’s just that I don’t know how to address you, miss.”
“Outside of the classroom, you may address me as Princess Anna or simply as princess. Kneel before your princess and kiss my foot, professor.”
I got back down in my knees, bent over and kissed her right foot through her sock.
“Now the other one.”
“Yes, princess.”
After I planted a kiss on her left foot, Anna said, “What about the feet of your prince?”
I kissed both of Paul’s feet through the thick wool.
“Ok, let’s give you a tour and then you can get started. You may walk,” said Paul.
“Thank you, sir,” I replied.
“Why don’t you make him call you ‘my prince’? Or, ‘my liege’? I like that. Especially since he teaches that kind of shit.” Anna was a sub par student, so I was not surprised by her vulgar, reductive description of the subject matter of my class.
“‘Sir’ is fine when he’s working as maid. Follow me,” said Paul.
First they showed me around the first floor, where there was a large kitchen with high-end, stainless steel appliances and granite countertops, including a large island. In addition to a large living room (at least twice the size of mine and Brooke’s), there was also a sizable guest bedroom, a full bathroom and an office on the first floor. We then walked up the stairs to the second floor, which was slightly smaller than the first, including an open area that looked down onto the first floor. On the second floor was Paul and Anna’s spacious master bedroom with a large en suite bathroom. Paul then unlocked a door to what I presumed was a third bedroom That’s probably what it was intended to be when the developer built the place, but Paul and Anna had converted the room into a makeshift dungeon. It contained a St. Andrews Cross, a padded punishment bench of some kind and a cage in which the prisoner could sleep or lay down (although not very comfortably). There were multiple riding crops, canes, paddles and straps hanging on the wall (similar to our hallway at home, but much greater in number).
Paul then opened a large closet containing a compact washer and dryer. I was at least relieved that I wouldn’t have to go down into some communal laundry room in the basement of the condo to do their laundry. On the other hand, following my tour, my first thought was that there was no way it would be possible for me to clean the entire place and do their laundry in only two hours (which turned out to be correct).
Paul said, “When you’re finished cleaning, Anna and I will inspect your work. Any shortcomings will be recorded in this notebook.” Paul pointed to a leather bound notepad lying on a small table in the dungeon. “I will record your demerits here. You’ve already earned two for failing to address me as ‘sir’ when you arrived. Of course, we still have to figure out methods of punishment that won’t be detectable to Luke and your wife.”
“How are we going to dress him when he cleans, babe?”, Anna asked Paul. Then to me: “I don’t suppose you brought a maid’s uniform with you, did you?“
“No, princess.”
“I like that page uniform you wore at the Ren fair. You know, with the white tights. Bring that next time.”
“I will try, princess. But the jacket belongs to my wife.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. I doubt she’ll miss it,“ said Anna.
“With his chastity cage, I think he should wear stockings and heels like Chrissy,” said Paul.
Anna replied, “At least he’s shaved smooth already. He’s about the same height as Chrissy. I think I have a pair of thigh high stockings that Chrissy hasn’t opened yet. They should look good with his little, white panties. I’ll get them.“
Anna came back with a pair of sheer black thigh high stockings. They watched me as I pulled them up by legs, smiling derisively.
“It looks like he’s put on nylons a thousand times before,” said Anna.
“He probably has,” said Paul
“Let’s see if he fits into Chrissy’s heels.” She left the room momentarily and returned with a pair of black high heels. I had never worn heels before and was very unsteady on my feet. They were also tight and very uncomfortable.
“I think they’re a bit tight for him. I’ll order a pair one size larger, Anna “said Anna.
“Well, you’re off the hook, maid. You don’t have to wear heels today, but we will expect you to wear them in the future. Now get busy,” ordered Paul.
“The professor maid. I love it!,” snickered Anna.
I started by gathering up their dirty clothes from their bedroom and starting a load of laundry. I next began cleaning their master bedroom bathroom. For the most part, Paul and Anna reclined on the sofa and watched TV as I worked. Occasionally, one of them would come over to supervise my work, critically.
“Make sure you scrub behind the toilet. I check for dust on the back of the toilet, and I better not find any,” said Anna.
“Yes, princess.“
“The only way to clean back there properly is from on your knees.“ I did as she commanded and began scrubbing earnestly, conscious of her scrutinizing my efforts (and my panty-clad ass, sticking out).
“You know, I think he looks a lot more at home cleaning the bathroom floor on his knees than he does lecturing at a podium,“ Anna yelled out to Paul in the other room.
“He should be forced to lecture from his knees,” laughed Paul.
“And to take his own tests and quizzes. That 64 I got on that last pop quiz better magically turn into a 100 by the end of the marking period,” said Anna.
I had to draw the line somewhere, didn’t I? “Princess, sir, I have been meaning to talk to you about that. Surely you can see how it’s impossible for me to maintain my integrity as a professor, to maintain academic integrity, while inflating anyone’s grades. To do so would devalue the grades of everyone in the college, including your own. Surely you…”
“I don’t fucking believe this!,” exclaimed Paul forcefully, causing me to shut my mouth instantly. “Is this guy for real?!”, he asked Anna. “Look, you talk as if either of us actually give a rat’s ass about ‘academic integrity.’ I promise you we don’t. You will change my, Anna’s and Kelly’s scores to A’s on that quiz and on all future tests and assignments. You don’t even want to conceive of what will happen to you if you don’t.”
“He should change all of our grades since the beginning of the semester to A’s,” said Anna.
“I’m afraid that might be a little too obvious, babe. But certainly everything from here on out, including that last quiz.” He then turned to me: “You thought you were so clever giving that quiz after getting your ass beaten by me at the Ren fair and cleaning our shoes. Like you’d show us who was boss. Well, there’s no turning the clock back. We know what a pathetic beta you are now, and you will be treated accordingly from now on by your three favorite students. Got it!”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now you have less than an hour left and a lot more to do. You better get your ass in gear.” With that he swatted me sharply on my ass. Anna giggled.
I worked at a frenetic pace, focusing on finishing the bathrooms, kitchen and laundry. I was interrupted twice to bring the young princess and prince a glass of ice water and a snack.
“I think he should curtsy to us like Chrissy does when he serves us,” said Anna.
“I don’t know how to, Princess Anna.”
“Learn how. You do know how to use the Internet, don’t you, geezer?”, Paul said. Anna snickered. “Now get back to work. You turn into a pumpkin soon and you’ve got a lot more to do still.”
Despite my best efforts, as I suspected, it tuned out that it simply wasn’t possible to clean an apartment that size in two hours —at least to their exacting standards. Even as it was, Anna found two hairs in the master bathroom shower and “unacceptable” grime behind the faucet in the kitchen. I had, in fact, noticed it but hadn’t been able to fully remove it with the granite countertop spray they had, despite scrubbing vigorously.
Paul said, “There’s a lot he didn’t get to. The living room is full of dust and shit on the floor. He didn’t even touch the dungeon. It’s probably not realistic to expect him to finish the whole apartment in two hours.”
Anna said, “It’s no problem. I’ll tell Chrissy to get her ass over here tomorrow morning. Professor maid should just focus on the bathrooms, kitchen and our laundry when he’s here. Chrissy and/ or Cindy will take care of the rest,” said Anna.
Paul said to me, “Come over here. Stand at attention in front of us.” I did as he ordered, standing in my panties and the loaned thigh high stockings before my seated young rulers. Paul pulled down my panties and with his right hand gripped my balls, which were jutting out from beneath my small chastity cage.
“Squeeze his little, geriatric balls, babe. Show him who’s really boss.”
Admittedly they were little, but geriatric?! I hadn’t yet turned 40! But the age discrepancy between the two of them and myself was a big part of the turn on for them in dominating me, and they were to miss no opportunity to rub it in in the months that followed.
Paul did in fact squeeze my balls that afternoon, causing me to stand on my tippy toes as I winced in pain. He held onto them firmly as he addressed me, “That’s five demerits. Two failures to address me properly. Two hairs and counter crud. Please record them in the notebook, Anna. We don’t have any more time today, so we will address them the Thursday after Thanksgiving when you prepare us dinner for the first time. We won’t be so rushed then. When you return, you’ll bring with you your completed writing assignment.”
“Writing assignment, sir?”
“Yes, punishment lines. I want you to write out neatly, 500 times: ‘I will never bring up the inane subject of academic integrity with Prince Paul or Princess Anna again.’ Good penmanship is important. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now get dressed and bring us our dry cleaning before you leave.”
After I retrieved the dry cleaning from the car, Anna smiled brightly at me and said (absurdly, surreally), “I hope you have a very happy Thanksgiving, Professor Rollins!”
I replied (equally absurdly), “You too, Princess Anna, Prince Paul.”
I heard them crack up behind the closed door as I headed towards the elevator.
I hurried past the smirking doorman to my car. Although Luke mercifully was traveling that night, Brooke would be expecting some dinner when she got home from the restaurant.
Like I said, it was a very busy November.