I sit alone in my room on the seventh floor, writing what will surely be my last will and testament. The heroin which allowed me to forget and to sleep for the last couple of years has lost its power to keep the screaming terrors away. The drug destroyed my body and mind, gradually eating away at them like a corrosive acid. Now I have become a slave to it. And yet, without it, I do not sleep for weeks, but instead continuously see the scenes from that terrible night running through my head on repeat as worsening waves of madness crash on the shores of my consciousness.
In the caverns under the town of Frost Hollow, I found the meaning of true madness. Ever since I escaped that den of horrors, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is only the feverish delirium of an unhinged mind.
Even now, they wait behind the door to this cheap, bare rented room. They drag their claws over the wood. I hear them hissing in that strange, ancient tongue, the one I first heard in the tombs of rock that had been undisturbed for countless millennia.
***
I had first heard rumors of an unexplored cavern from my friend, an experienced caver named Sonia who had explored caverns all over the world. I had been looking for some excitement in my life, some break from the constant monotony and boredom of simply working and sleeping. I had gone caving quite a few times over the year leading up to the trip, but I was not nearly as experienced and had never explored a supposedly virgin passageway of cavern before.
“How do you know no one’s gone down there?” I asked, curious. We sat across from each other at a local diner, getting some early breakfast before our planned descent. The sunrise was still another half-hour away, the sky flat and dark. We would be joined by Sonia’s husband, Phil, who would meet us there shortly after sunrise. I repressed an urge to yawn, chugging half of the steaming hot coffee in one long swallow. Sonia leaned close to me, her nearly colorless blue eyes reminding me of chunks of ice floating down a muddy stream.
“Phil’s friend just found it randomly,” she whispered before glancing around conspiratorially, as if she feared someone would care enough to eavesdrop on a conversation about a cave. “Well, it’s in the middle of a farm, and Phil’s friend, Jack Graysole, owns the entire property and surrounding woods. Jack says he noticed the cows kept going over to a certain spot in the field when it got really hot during the summertime. They would all gather around this little indentation in the grass. After seeing it a few times, Jack got curious and went to investigate what the cows were doing.
“He found a small hole in the ground, almost entirely covered by weeds and grass. He said he felt a cool breeze constantly blowing out of the hole, a breeze that smelled like burning matches and charred metal. After bringing out some shovels and digging down a couple feet, Jack realized that the hole wasn’t a hole at all, but the beginning of a steep passageway leading deep into the bowels of the earth.”
***
The owner of the land decided to unofficially call the newly-discovered cavern Graysole Caverns. Out of respect for him, this is also the name we all used. This is the story of how I found myself in the bowels of a strange subterranean tunnel, a tunnel where creatures beyond my comprehension slunk and hunted, skittering monstrosities who would be more at home in a nightmare.
After grabbing a couple coffees to take with us, Sonia drove over to Graysole Farms. Cows stood out in the grassy fields, huddled in tight circles as they repetitively chewed. The thin silhouette of Jack Graysole waited for us next to the herd. He had a face like a raisin, I thought to myself. I watched his thin, shaking body standing in the middle of an overgrown grassy field. Jack stared down blankly at something only he could see. Sonia and I started unloading some equipment from the car while we waited for Phil.
Once we had the backpacks loaded with some simple supplies, such as water, food, headlamps, rope, a couple extra batteries, some buck knives, and radios, we headed over to accompany Jack. We weren’t taking much, as we didn’t really expect to be down there for more than six or seven hours at the most.
Jack Graysole’s withered old face was as slack and expressionless as that of a corpse. He stared down at the ground as if he were in a trance, waving back and forth slowly on his feet like a plant in a light breeze.
“Jack?” Sonia called out as we approached. I could hear the man’s teeth chattering as we got nearer.
“Hey, what are you doing over here this early? You interested in accompanying us down there?” Sonia joked. But Jack might as well have been totally deaf for all the reaction he gave. Sonia glanced over at me with an anxious expression. I wondered if the old man was having a stroke.
I quickly walked over to where he stood, staring down at a black circular hole about three feet across directly in front of his feet. The entrance to Graysole Caverns stared up at us like a sightless pupil. As I drew within a few feet of Jack and looked straight into his blank eyes, I noticed something alarming.
His pupils were quickly dilating and constricting before my eyes. They would shrink to tiny pinpoints, then, a couple seconds later, rapidly expand until they became dark and serious. I could see his thready, rapid heartbeat pulsating in a vein on the side of his temple. Alarmed, I reached forward and put my hand on his shoulder.
Instantly, he came to life, like a man waking up from a nightmare. Shrieking, he looked at me with fully dilated pupils, reminding me of a panicked deer surrounded by wolves. His quavering old man’s voice shook with ineffable existential horror and mortal fear.
He took a step back away from us, seeming to realize where he was and what he was doing. He looked around, confused, then straight at me and Sonia. His eyes focused with anger and fear, as if we were demons here to drag him down to Hell. His eyes flicked back and forth between us constantly. Jack raised a trembling hand and pointed it straight at my heart.
“It’s you,” he said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His teeth chattered despite the warm spring air. His skin looked deathly pale. “You’re the one who will bring an end to humanity, who will release the ruler of nightmares upon us.” He continued to point accusingly for a long moment at me, his face turning chalk-white. Then his eyes rolled up in his head. Slowly, he stumbled and fell backwards onto the soft grass of the field.
“Jack!” Sonia cried, running over to the old man. Jack’s breaths had started to come in slow, drawn-out gurgles, like a man with a slit throat trying to breathe. Frothy blood bubbled from his lips as they turned blue. Staring up at the endless expanse of cloudless sky, he exhaled one last shuddering breath and died.
***
Phil showed up only a couple minutes later. He found me and Sonia in a state of utter panic, both of us bent double over the still body of Jack. Sonia was on the phone with 911, and I was trying to give Jack chest compressions. The way his fingernails and lips shone with that cyanotic blue cast made me feel sick and weak. I knew it was futile, that I was simply playing with a corpse at this point, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt if I didn’t do something, I might explode.
I heard the faint wailing of sirens approaching as Sonia’s panicked voice continued babbling to the 911 operator. Phil stood by her side, his tall, dark features searching and lost.
“Oh God, I think he’s dead!” Sonia cried over and over to the operator, as if she thought the operator could do anything about it. I didn’t hear what the operator said in response. As the ambulance pulled in, I gave up on chest compressions. I stood up and took a step back, looking sadly down on the kindly old man’s dead body.
The paramedics ran over. Phil, Sonia and I stood back while they worked on the corpse, trying to shock the heart back into life. But Jack’s open eyes stayed glazed as they stared sightlessly up into eternity.
***
The paramedics left. A couple police officers stayed behind to ask us a few routine questions. Eventually, after an hour or so, they left, too.
“What a fucked-up day,” Phil said, shaking his head grimly. “Do you guys still want to do this? Maybe it’s an omen from God telling us to go home.” Sonia and I exchanged a glance, then we both nodded at the same time.
“Definitely,” she said. “It’s sad what happened to Jack, but realistically, we don’t know what’s going to happen to this property now that he’s passed away. It might get sold or taken by the bank for all we know. This could be our one and only chance to explore this cave.”
“I don’t believe in omens. I’m still down,” I said, feeling slightly sick from the experience. I still remembered how Jack’s body had cracked under the weight of my chest compressions, how his ribs had snapped like bones shattering in greedy hands. “We’ll do it in memory of Jack. I plan to put this up on YouTube.” I pulled my GoPro out of my bag, turning it on. Phil groaned at that.
“Do we have any idea how far down this cave goes?” Phil asked. I felt a sense of relief now that the topic had changed from the death of the old man.
“I sent a little camera down on a rope, but it only went about a hundred feet,” Sonia responded. “It’s pretty steep at first, then it levels out. I couldn’t really see much after it leveled out, but it looks like it should be easy to climb down. There’s plenty of handholds, lots of jutting rocks.”
Phil put on his headlamp and small pack. As he crawled down into the hole, his tanned face looked up at us and gave us one last devilish grin. Once he had gone down a few dozen feet, Sonia started descending. She looked excited and happy. I noticed how she couldn’t stop smiling as she disappeared from view.
I watched their lights grow smaller and dimmer in the circular tunnel. I marveled at how perfectly circular the entrance was. It almost didn’t even look natural.
Taking a deep breath in, I followed my friends down into the dark.
***
“This isn’t too bad,” I said as I climbed down. The jutting rocks gave plenty of handholds and footholds for us. It wasn’t so tight that it felt like a coffin, either.
“It only gets easier from here!” Sonia called up.
“How do you know?” I asked. “You said you’ve never been here before.” She laughed.
“I know. Probably just wishful thinking,” she said. Far below us, Phil’s voice drifted up, faint and weak. He had already reached the bottom.
“The tunnel really opens up down here, guys,” he called. “It’s somewhat… bizarre, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sonia asked. I looked down, seeing Sonia and I would reach the bottom in seconds. “Forget it, I’ll let it be a surprise.” I heard her drop down. Slowly and carefully, I lowered myself down the last few feet. There was a short fall onto a smooth granite floor. I looked up, seeing what Phil and Sonia were so mesmerized by.
“Oh, wow,” I said, speechless. I blinked rapidly, wondering if the image would clear like a mirage. The tunnel was cut into a perfectly triangular shape, each side about seven feet long. The ceiling met in a point above our heads.
All along the smooth walls of gray rock, I saw thousands of black orbs peeking out. They looked similar to obsidian, but they were perfectly smooth and circular, each about the size of an orange. They were formed into interlocking diagonal patterns and followed the tunnel straight down as far as the eye could see.
“What is this place?” Sonia asked, taking a tentative step forward. I looked up, seeing the distant pinpoint of sunlight far above our heads. Our voices continued to echo off down the massive tunnels, disappearing in eerie waves into the thick curtain of shadows.
“Are you recording all this?” Phil asked me. I laughed, giddy.
“Of course! This is internet gold right here,” I said. “No one’s going to believe that this isn’t man-made, however. I can’t even believe it. Do you think Jack was playing a joke on us or something?”
“Jack had the sense of humor of a wet paper towel,” Phil whispered, shaking his head. “No, he wouldn’t do something like this.”
“Well, let’s go check it out,” Sonia said, taking a step forward. Her headlamp bobbed up and down rapidly, throwing dancing shadows through the triangular tunnel. It continued straight ahead, without the slightest deviation or curve, disappearing off into a dark point in the distance.
***
We walked as fast as we could, excited to see where, if anywhere, the strange tunnel led. Phil, always the conspiracy theorist, babbled excitedly.
“This has to be aliens, man,” he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I bet that scientists will find out this shit is millions of years old when we get back up and tell everyone. Maybe aliens came to earth in ancient times and made a bunch of stuff underground.” Gradually, as we walked, I noticed the tunnel opening up. The pointed triangular ceiling rose up higher above our heads and the walls moved outwards, as if we were walking up a triangular funnel. At first, it was so subtle that I didn’t believe it when Sonia pointed it out.
“No, look,” she said, raising her hand above her head. “When we first started down this weird tunnel, my fingers were only maybe a foot away from the top. Now it’s a couple feet.” I was about to respond when our headlamps illuminated something standing in the middle of the tunnel.
“What the fuck is that?” I whispered, stopping cold in my tracks. Phil and Sonia looked up at the abomination at the same time. Its back was to us. It stood nearly as tall as the tunnel, which was now about twenty feet high.
The bottom half looked black and spidery with dozens of long, jointed legs. A bloody, white spine rose out of the mass of legs. Inhumanly long, skeletal arms stretched out in front of it. Its face was pointed away from us, but the back of its head resembled an enormous pointed skull with deep fissures like the cracks of an earthquake running through the bone. The abomination stayed as still as a statue, and for a long moment, I wondered if we were looking at some macabre work of art.
Then, suddenly, one of its insectile legs twitched. A moment later, the other legs started jerking and twisting. There was a sound like bones shattering as it rose up to its full height, turning around to face us.
Its face was like something from a nightmare, melting and reforming constantly like dripping candle wax. I would see a black eye appear on its forehead, then a grinning mouth on its chin, then the features would get sucked back into the folds of melting flesh. After a few moments, two enormous eyes appeared on its face, dark and cold like craters on the surface of the Moon. The mouths and noses disappeared back into the dripping skin, and only the two lidless eyes remained, emanating a cold, reptilian consciousness beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend. I felt terror radiating from its body like freezing waves.
“Free me,” it cried in a gurgling voice that seethed with insanity. It had a shrieking, metallic ringing behind every word that gave it an alien quality. “Free me, and I will give you the waters of eternal life. Within me, I contain the seeds of immortality. Within the nightmares, we live forever, always together, never alone.”
“Who are you?” I asked, terrified. The black reptilian skin of the enormous beast glistened as it knelt down, its massive face drawing near to mine. A sideways mouth burst out of the liquified flesh, showing hundreds of fangs growing like tumors from its white, bloodless gums. The fangs varied in size from only a couple inches to long, sword-like projections that stabbed into the creature’s flesh, causing white blood glittering with rainbows to fall like raindrops all around me.
“I have many names,” it hissed, its thousand voices rising and falling in crashing waves of sound. “I was present at the beginning, when this planet was no more than dead cliffs and endless freezing oceans. Those holy ones who search for us, the ancient ones, call me Niralahoth.”
“How do we free you?” Phil asked, looking terrified. He held Sonia’s hand tightly.
“By letting me into your mind and body,” Niralahoth cried, shaking the cavern. “I was thrown down here, cursed and forgotten. I cannot leave this place of shadows within this body. But in the body of another, my consciousness can be free, and the seeds of new life can spread beyond this prison.”
“There’s no way anyone’s going to do that,” I said, my eyes widening as Niralahoth’s reptilian skull turned towards me in fury. “I mean, you’re asking one of us to give up our individuality, our lives, right?”
“I am asking you to become one with me and gain power undreamt of by mortals,” it cried. “I have within me the fountain of life, the waters that send death away screaming.” I glanced anxiously at Phil and Sonia, wondering if we would have to run.
“The answer is no,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that,” Phil said, backing me up. “But, anyways, I think our trip has ended. It’s time to turn around…”
“You will never return,” Niralahoth cried, skittering away from us. “If you will not accept salvation, then you must accept death.” Within seconds, it slunk away from us, backpedaling on its many skittering legs into the shadows.
***
All around us, a rumbling started.
There was a pounding that crashed through the rock tunnel, as if an insane blacksmith were hammering on a massive anvil. The ringing of crashing rock started off slowly, with a few stones smashing down around us with heavy blasts of sound. Within seconds, the cacophony sped up, rising into a constant stream of destruction. The black orbs were spinning in place all up and down the tunnel, their glossy obsidian surfaces flashing with sparks of blue light.
“It’s collapsing!” Phil cried, running back in the direction we came, holding Sonia’s hand as she tried to keep up with him. I could only stare for a long moment, not sure what to do. It seemed that the direction Phil was heading stood closer to total collapse.
“Wait!” I cried, but my voice was drowned out in the destruction all around us. I felt a rock smash into my shoulder, sending me down to my feet. I heard Phil give a scream of pain, then another stone came down and smashed into my forehead. I remember seeing everything spinning around me as the world went black.
***
I awoke to find my headlamp still shining straight up in the dusty tunnel. Large chunks of the tunnel had slid out of place and crashed to the stone floor. The granite chunks that had fallen looked unnaturally smooth, most of them in the shapes of cylinders or cubes and varying in size from that of an egg to that of a small car.
My head throbbed. It felt as if a tight belt of fire were wrapped around my temples. Groaning, I put my fingers up to my forehead. They came away slick with blood.
Slowly, I started pushing myself up on my feet. I was relieved that nothing seemed broken. I had a deep gash running from the center of my scalp down to my left temple and some shallower cuts on my shoulders and back, but I knew none of that was life-threatening.
“Sonia?” I whispered, my voice coming out weak and strained. I reached into my pack and found a bottle of water. I chugged it quickly in one long swallow.
“Phil?” I cried again, this time stronger. I heard a soft weeping nearby. Staggering, I followed the sound.
Sonia was bloody and covered in cuts and scrapes, sitting next to Phil’s prone form. I saw Phil’s right arm pinned under a massive slab of granite. His arm disappeared from the elbow down in a spreading puddle of thick, dark blood.
“Oh God, Max, I think he’s hurt really bad,” she wept. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly in his head, his face pale and bloodless. I looked down the way we had come, seeing the entire tunnel blocked by large slabs of stone, many with strange, black orbs peeking out like the lenses of cameras.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. My phone died after a day, and then we were counting the endless darkness in breaths and tears.
Phil swam in and out of consciousness as his arm putrefied and blackened around the crush site. After a couple days, Sonia and I agreed that something had to be done. We told Phil we would need to amputate his arm. He was half-delirious, but he came back long enough to understand us and nod weakly.
We made a fire with Phil’s pack, trying to find fuel to throw in it to get it roaring. As it grew, I saw one of the black orbs near the flames abruptly ignite, as if it had been covered in gasoline. Blue, almost colorless flames rose from its surface. We started throwing the small black orbs on the fire until it rose high in the air. I sanitized the buck knife with the flames and pulled a rope tourniquet tight around Phil’s arm. He was conscious but seemingly insane, talking to himself more than anyone else.
“How are we going to get the car started without a key?” he gurgled to someone only he could see. “We need to look around. It has to be here somewhere.”
“Phil, can you hear me, bud? We need to fix your arm. We need to get you out of this mess. OK?” I said as comfortingly as I could. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly, but they didn’t meet my own. I sighed and looked over at Sonia.
“Let’s do it,” I said, giving a grim nod.
I pulled the buck knife out, slicing quickly down through the flesh next to the tourniquet. His veins throbbed like fat worms as the blackened, necrotic skin split easily under the blade, releasing a rancid-smelling gas that hissed out of the wound.
I couldn’t believe how hard it was to slice all the way through the arm. It felt like I was stuck in that hellish task forever. Phil’s eyes rolled in his head as his skin turned the color of clotted milk.
“God, Jesus, make it stop,” Phil whispered over and over, exhaling ragged, pain-filled breaths. The blood spurted from the blackened, dying tissue all over the dust-covered cavern floor, covering my hands in its warm, slick embrace.
After what was probably only three or four minutes, but felt like hours, I had sliced all the way down to the bone. The infected tissue of his arm spurted great gouts of orange pus mixed with rivulets of blood. The hard part was over.
Standing up, I took my steel-toe sneaker and stomped down on his arm as hard as I could. Phil cried out in a powerful voice, as if all the agony and suffering in the world was contained in that one shriek. The bone snapped under my weight with a sound like a tree branch cracking. A moment later, Phil rolled away from the rock that had pinned me in place for so long. Something alien and spongy was shoved into my face, a mass of destroyed red tissue pulsating in time with a runaway heartbeat. At first, shell-shocked and revolted, my mind couldn’t comprehend that I was looking at the stump of Phil’s mutilated arm. I hardened my heart and forced the giddiness and madness to the back of my mind. The time had come to cauterize the wound.
“Sonia, give it to me,” I said with a tremor in my voice. I reached out a hand towards her, a hand stained with Phil’s blood. It looked as if I were wearing a wet, crimson glove. Sonia only stared blankly at me for a long moment, however. A surge of anger ran up my chest.
“Sonia, toughen the fuck up! He’s going to die if you just sit there!” I swore at her, hearing my deep, angry voice bounce around the caverns. Sonia pulled back, as if she were struck. Inwardly, I cursed having a woman as my only able-bodied companion in this situation. She was a competent enough caver, but what would happen if violence and blood came over us? What would happen if, or more realistically when, we needed to fight?
Grimly, Sonia leaned forward and yanked the burning black orb out of the roaring fire, handing it to me on the end of a buck knife that had just barely pierced its hard, strange exterior. The handle of the knife felt coarse and splintery under my filthy skin. I put it to the spongy stump of Phil’s arm. The stump twitched violently. Phil tried to pull away as black smoke rose from the burning flesh.
There was a smell like bacon sizzling. The searing meat of Phil’s arm blackened and crisped under the heat of the orb, which had become no more than a cylinder of glowing blue embers by this point. I felt simultaneously sick and giddy. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or vomit. I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of madness, that the stress and insanity of the experience had started to shatter my mind.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he appeared to go into a seizure for a few seconds. With a long exhalation of breath, he finally, mercifully, lost consciousness. It’s hard to admit it, even this close to the end, but a small, sick piece of me was jealous of Phil. Most likely, he would be dead soon, maybe within hours, while Sonia and I would slowly starve and dehydrate like animals over a period of weeks. I looked at her lithe body and soft skin, seeing the feminine curves of her hips and chest. She was a beautiful woman. I knew Phil to be a lucky man. At least, before this trip, he was.
I watched her body, wondering if I had what it took to eat her or Phil if I had to. Did I have an iron heart that would allow me to slice into my friends and consume their raw, cold flesh? Perhaps, by that point, it would be hunger and madness driving me forward, and I wouldn’t even hesitate. I shuddered at the very thought.
***
I fell asleep that night, having strange dreams of massive gods with melting faces sitting in judgment in a circle around me. We had very little food or water left. No one knew we were down here. Rescue was not coming.
When I awoke, I found myself alone. Phil had died from his injuries while I slept, the black streaks of septic shock spreading up his arm towards his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the rock ceiling.
“Sonia?” I called out, my heart racing as I sat up. “Where are you?” My headlamp was growing dim. I looked in my pack, realizing I was on the last of my batteries. I saw a silhouette walking out of the darkness, the thin, pale form of Sonia. She was trembling badly.
“I saw them,” she said. “Niralahoth and its priests. The priests aren’t human. They look reptilian with sideways mouths and too many eyes.” She shuddered.
“Why would you do that?” I asked. Her eyes grew distant.
“You know we’re not getting out of here alive,” she said. “Not on our own. I wanted to see what it offered. It says that if we take a piece of its nightmare into us, we will gain the power to leave this place, that it simply wants to see the surface and spread its nightmares there.” I shook my head.
“Insanity,” I muttered. “We’d be better off dead.” Sonia nodded.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded grimly. I didn’t realize what she meant until the next day, when I woke up and found her hanging next to Phil’s body, her tongue swollen and blue as it poked out of her cyanotic lips. And then I was truly alone.
***
Soon after Sonia committed suicide, the last of the batteries for the headlamp died. I had run out of food and had only a small sip of water left. I don’t know how much time passed in the darkness, starving and raving, following the tunnel by running my hands over the walls. I heard many things skittering in the darkness, and a few times, I heard the demonic voice of Niralahoth as it split and distorted.
“You are on death’s door,” it hissed. “Will you not drink from the fountain of life?” I couldn’t tell where the voice came from in the maddening blackness. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. I had lost nearly all of my sanity in that pit of shadows by this point. I tried laughing constantly to keep my spirits up, and when that failed, I simply cried.
“I’ll do it,” I wailed. “I’ll do it. Just let me see the sky again. Get me out of here, Niralahoth.” Everything went deathly silent all around me, then a laugh rang out like the grinding of glass.
In front of me, I saw a tornado of fire descending from the ceiling, surrounding the massive, spidery form of Niralahoth. It rose its skeletal arms upwards, as if it were Zeus calling down lightning. In the sudden brightness, I saw the fiery form of snakes slithering and centipedes skittering forwards in that tornado, each massive creature sculpted from flames in the spinning cyclone of energy. Niralahoth reached into the tornado of fire with its sharp points of fingers and plucked something small from it. The fire instantly dissipated. In its hand, I saw a tiny, swirling orb that looked like it contained a firestorm within it.
“The nightmare seed,” Niralahoth gurgled as it skittered forward towards me. I could only stare, open-mouthed and starving. I hadn’t slept for days, it felt like, and everything seemed slow and unreal.
In a blur, its skeletal arm shot out and forced the orb into my mouth. Despite the fire raging within it, it felt freezing cold. As it touched my tongue, it gave off a sensation like frostbite all throughout my mouth. I screamed and tried spitting it out, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. It started liquifying, dripping down my throat.
I felt something cancerous and sick spreading throughout my body, radiating out from my heart and stomach to every inch of it. I tried to scream, but it caught behind my teeth. I fell to my knees, clawing at my face as that insane, alien laugh continued resounding all down the tunnel. I fell unconscious and woke up under a beautiful sky in the fields of Graysole Farms.
***
Soon after, I realized that my life would never be the same. Everywhere I went, I could hear the wailing voice of Niralahoth. Behind the trees, I always saw skittering shadows, creatures with long, spidery legs that stalked me every day and night. I slept with every light in the house turned on, yet when I woke up, they would all be shut off, and I would find myself in darkness, next to something in the bed with far too many legs and a face that dripped like burning wax.
I sold everything I owned and tried to move far away, to give as much distance between myself and those cursed caverns as I could, but the nightmares followed me like a shadow. I realize what a fool I was in those ephemeral moments of madness. Sonia was much wiser than myself; I should have killed myself or died rather than allowing that thing inside of me.
Even now, I can feel it creeping through my heart, spreading through my blood. I feel it trying to crawl its way out of my throat, the thin, black legs peeking out at the back of my esophagus.
I only hope that, when I finally jump and feel my bones shatter against the concrete far below, I will kill whatever is inside of me. For I fear the consequences for the world if it were to escape.

Analysis of Consciousness
One of the Abhidhamma's most important contributions to human thought, though still insufficiently known and utilized, is the analysis and classification of consciousness undertaken in the first of the Dhammasangani. Here the human mind, so evanescent and elusive, has for the first time been subjected to a comprehensive, thorough and unprejudiced scrutiny, which definitely disposes of the notion that any kind of static unity or underlying substance can be traced in mind. However, the basic ethical lay-out and purpose of this psychology effectively prevents conclusions of ethical materialism or theoretical and practical amoralism being derived from its realistic and unmetaphysical analysis of mind.
The method of investigation applied in the Abhidhamma is inductive, being based exclusively on an unprejudiced and subtle introspective observation of mental processes. The procedure used in the Dhammasangani for the analysis of consciousness is precisely that postulated by the English philosopher and mathematician, A. N. Whitehead: 'It is impossible to over-emphasize the point that the key to the process of induction, as used either in science or in our ordinary life, is to be found in the right understanding of the immediate occasion of knowledge in its full concreteness...In any occasion of cognition, that which is known is an actual occasion of experience, as diversified by reference to a realm of entities which transcend that immediate occasion in that they have analogous or different connections with other occasions of experience' ('Science and the Modern World').
Whitehead's term 'occasion' corresponds to the Abhidhamma concept samaya (time, occasion, conjunction of circumstances), which occurs in all principal paragraphs of the Dhammasangani, and there denotes the starting point of the analysis. The term receives a detailed and very instructive treatment in the Atthasalini the commentary to the aforementioned work.
The Buddha succeeded in reducing this 'immediate occasion' of an act of cognition to a single moment of consciousness, which, however, in its subtlety and evanescence, cannot be observed, directly and separately, by a mind untrained in introspective meditation. Just as the minute living beings in the microcosm of a drop of water become visible only through a microscope, so, too, the exceedingly short-lived processes in the world of mind become cognizable only with the help of a very subtle instrument of mental scrutiny, and that only obtains as a result of meditative training. None but the kind of introspective mindfulness or attention (sati) that has acquired, in meditative absorption, a high degree of inner equipoise, purity and firmness (upekkha-sati-parisuddhi), will possess the keenness, subtlety and quickness of cognitive response required for such delicate mental microscopy. Without that meditative preparation only the way of inference from comparisons between various complete or fragmentary series of thought moments will be open as a means of research. But this approach too may yield important and reliable results, if cautious and intelligent use is made of one's own introspective results and of the psychological data of meditative experience found in Sutta and Abhidhamma.
In the Anupada Sutta (Majjhima Nikaya 111) it is reported that the Venerable Sariputta Thera, after rising from meditative absorption (jhana) was able to analyse the respective jhanic consciousness into its constituent mental factors. This may be regarded as a precursor of the more detailed analysis given in the Dhammasangani.
Let us listen to a voice from Indian antiquity appreciating the difficulty of that analytical work and the greatness of its achievement. We read in the 'Questions of King Milinda'; "A difficult feat indeed was accomplished, O great King, by the Exalted One" -- "Which was that difficult feat, O venerable Nagasena?" - "The Exalted One, O king, has accomplished a difficult task when he analysed a mental process having a single object as consisting of consciousness with its concomitants, as follows: 'This is sense-impression, this is feeling, perception, volition, consciousness." - "Give an illustration of it, venerable sir" - "Suppose, O king, a man has gone to the sea by boat and takes with the hollow of his hand a little sea water and tastes it. Will this man know, 'This is water from the Ganges, this is water from such other rivers as Jamuna, Aciravati etc.?" - "He can hardly know that." - "But a still more difficult task, O king, was accomplished by the Exalted One when he analysed a mental process having a single object, as consisting of consciousness with its concomitants."
The rather terse and abstract form in which the Dhammasangani presents its subject matter, the analysis of mind, should not mislead the reader into making him believe that he is confronted with a typical product of late scholastic thought. When, in the course of closer study, he notices the admirable inner consistency of the system, and gradually becomes aware of many of its subtle points and far-reaching implications, he will become convinced that at least the fundamental outlines and the key notes of Abhidhamma psychology must be the result of a profound intuition gained through direct and penetrative introspection. It will appear to him increasingly improbable that the essence of the Abhidhamma should be the product of a cumbersome process of discursive thinking and artificial thought-constructions. This impression of the essentially intuitive origin of the Abhidhammic mind-doctrine will also strengthen his conviction that the elements of the Dhammasangani and the Patthana must be ascribed to the Buddha himself and his early great and holy disciples. What is called 'scholastic thought', which has its merit in its own sphere and does not deserve wholesale condemnation, may have had its share later in formulating, elaborating and codifying the teachings concerned.
If we turn from the Abhidhamma to the highest contemporary achievements of non-Buddhist Indian thought in the field of mind and 'soul', i.e. the early Upanishads and the early Samkhya, we find that apart from single great intuitions, they teem with mythological ritualistic terms, and with abstract speculative concepts. Against that background the realistic sober and scientific spirit of Abhidhamma psychology (or its nucleus extant in the Sutta period) must have stood out very strongly. To those who could appreciate the import of that contrast, it will have sufficed to instil that high esteem and admiration for the Abhidhamma of which we have spoken.
But even if compared with most of the later psychological teachings of the East or the West, the distance from Abhidhamma psychology remains fundamentally the same, for only the Buddha's teaching on mind keeps entirely free from the notions of self, ego, soul, or any other permanent entity in, or behind, mind.
Buddhist Analysis of Consciousness

What are your observations?

I gave a 4 week notice for a 5.5 day pto in June. My trip is already booked and I didn’t think there would be any issues with my request, especially given that we have flexible pto at work and the last time I requested pto was last July.
But we also got a new hire a couple weeks ago who had a 2 week vacation prebooked that falls on the same time as me. Basically, there’ll be a 1 week overlap between mine and theirs pto.
My manager asked to go over my request tomorrow and said that normally they’d approve it no problem but they don’t want to be in a situation where we would be short staffed. I understand them so I offered to help my teammates and front load on some deliverables.I also plan to tell them that my vacation is also already booked.
What else can I do or say? There’s a small chance they might deny it and I don’t want that to happen. Can I request unpaid time off as an option?
Thanks

Sorry if this isn’t the right place to post this. But I am looking for some advice. I work for the city doing landscaping in northwestern Alabama and I’ve noticed a lot of sweat bees. Everyone says they’re not aggressive but they always sting me, sometimes several times a day. I do notice that sometimes they get stuck in my sleeve and will sting me then, but sometimes they just sting me for seemingly no reason. I am looking for some tips on how to stop this from happening. It gets hot, and I sweat, and I know they’re attracted to sweat- I am considering just going full on long sleeve and one of those neck face masks to cover as much skin as possible. But if there’s a more conventional solution please feel free to share. Thank you in advance!

So I was recently diagnosed with POTS but suspected for awhile.
One symptom I've noticed is after a period of activity/higher HR I often find myself not feeling like I'm going to faint exactly (though there is often increased dizziness) but like I can't keep my eyes open and head up. It's like I feel like I can doze off sitting upright even if I'm mentally awake.
Do you get this with your POTS? Or something else? I've had a sleep study that found very very mild sleep apnea and suspect I could have something like PEM/CFS but I'm not really sure if this is that or POTS or something else.

(Overview at bottom)
Ticker PK is Park Hotels & Resorts Inc. Sitting at a 3 billion dollar market cap with average daily volume of a few million, it has come to my attention that this stock is completely undervalued!
Park is one of the largest publicly traded lodging (REITs) Real-Estate Investing Trusts with a very diverse portfolio. This portfolio has Waldorf histora hotel properties, Conrad hotel properties, Hilton hotel properties: Double Tree, Hampton, Embassy, and Garden. Did I forget to mention as well that it has a 4.31% divided yeild. Besides day trading the impact of current interest rates on hospitality estates, we are about to enter travel season with this upcoming summer which may be a catalyst for revenue growth YOY (year-over-year for the regards) given we just got out of quarantine 4 years ago and people are starting to look at Covid as a thing of the past. Moreover, it’s next earnings report is currently scheduled in the end June, and it’s last quarter report was a beat where the previous 2 quarters have been exactly what analysts expected. Robinhood analyst are expecting at growth of 10 cents per share at (estimate: 0.63) in comparison to its previous quarter of 0.53 cents per share. That’s a 19% revenue growth projection from an arguably reputable Brokerage.
Recent news
Last week PK had an overall gain of 1.87%, the stock price moved from 16.02 to 16.32, last week's high was 16.58, the low was 15.6850, and the cumulative volume was 10.87M.
Recent technical It is up 1% since last week as we kickstart summer. We see a bullish change in its Williams %R on the 15th of this month towards a bullish % indication. It crossed 21 day moving average the same day. And pumped past a bottom triangle wedge the same day as well.
Overview: Entry foundation: 4 short term technical indicators signaling bullish momentum Catalyst: short term revenue growth because we are entering travel season Ticker Choice: A Portfolio with reputable hospitality companies- did I mention hospitality is considered an evergreen niche given that people with never not love to travel.
Position: extremely bullish
Most recent trending article:
Park Hotels & Resorts Announces Final Results of Tender Offer
TYSONS, Va., May 16, 2024 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- Park Hotels & Resorts Inc. ("Park") (NYSE: PK) announced today the expiration of and the final results for the previously announced offer to purchase for cash (the "Tender Offer") commenced by Park's subsidiaries, Park Intermediate Holdings LLC, a Delaware limited liability (the "Company"), PK Domestic Property LLC, a Delaware limited liability company, and PK Finance Co-Issuer Inc., a Delaware corporation (collectively, the "Issuers"), for any and all of their outstanding 7.500% Senior Notes due 2025 (the "Notes"). The Tender Offer expired at 5:00 p.m., New York City time, on May 13, 2024 (the "Expiration Time").
On May 16, 2024, the Issuers purchased $311,473,000 in principal amount of the Notes that were validly tendered and not validly withdrawn or with respect to which a properly completed and duly executed Notice of Guaranteed Delivery was delivered at or prior to the Expiration Time.
According to information received from Global Bondholder Services Corporation, the Tender and Information Agent for the Tender Offer, the following table sets forth details regarding the total aggregate principal amount of the Notes validly tendered and not validly withdrawn or with respect to which a properly completed and duly executed Notice of Guaranteed Delivery was delivered at or prior to the Expiration Time and the principal amount of the Notes that will be accepted for purchase by the Issuers today:
Title of CUSIP Principal Principal Principal Security Numbers/ISINs: Amount Amount Amount to be Outstanding Tendered Accepted on 5/16/2024 7.500% Senior 144A: Notes due 70052LAA1 / $650,000,000 $311,473,000 $311,473,000 2025 US70052LAA17 Reg S: U7013LAA8 / USU7013LAA80
In addition, on May 16, 2024, the Issuers issued a notice of redemption for all of the Notes outstanding following the settlement of the Tender Offer at a redemption price of 100.000% of the principal amount thereof, plus accrued and unpaid interest to, but excluding, the redemption date (which is expected to be June 1, 2024) pursuant to the terms of the indenture governing the Notes. Following the redemption on the redemption date, the Issuers will no longer have any Notes outstanding.
Wells Fargo Securities, LLC served as Dealer Manager for the Tender Offer. Global Bondholder Services Corporation served as the Tender and Information Agent for the Tender Offer. Questions regarding the Tender Offer may be directed to Wells Fargo Securities, LLC at 550 South Tryon Street, 5th Floor, Charlotte, North Carolina 28202, Attn: Liability Management Group, (866) 309-6316 (toll-free), (704) 410-4759 (collect) or by email to liabilitymanagement@wellsfargo.com.
This press release is for informational purposes only and does not constitute an offer to purchase or the solicitation of an offer to sell any securities, including the Notes.
About Park Hotels & Resorts
Park is one of the largest publicly traded lodging REITs, with a diverse portfolio of iconic and market-leading hotels and resorts with significant underlying real estate value. Park's portfolio currently consists of 43 premium-branded hotels and resorts with over 26,000 rooms located in prime city center and resort locations.
Forward Looking Statements
This press release contains forward-looking statements within the meaning of Section 27A of the Securities Act of 1933, as amended, and Section 21E of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934, as amended. Forward-looking statements include, but are not limited to, statements related to the effects of Park's decision to cease payments on its $725 million non-recourse CMBS loan secured by the 1,921-room Hilton San Francisco Union Square and the 1,024-room Parc 55 San Francisco -- a Hilton Hotel and the lender's exercise of its remedies, including placing such hotels into receivership, as well as Park's current expectations regarding the performance of its business, financial results, liquidity and capital resources, including anticipated repayment of certain of its indebtedness (including the Notes), the completion of capital allocation priorities, the expected repurchase of Park's stock, the impact from macroeconomic factors (including inflation, elevated interest rates, potential economic slowdown or a recession and geopolitical conflicts), the effects of competition, the effects of future legislation or regulations, the expected completion of anticipated dispositions, the declaration, payment and any change in amounts of future dividends and other non-historical statements. Forward-looking statements include all statements that are not historical facts, and in some cases, can be identified by the use of forward-looking terminology such as the words "outlook," "believes," "expects," "potential," "continues," "may," "will," "should," "could," "seeks," "projects," "predicts," "intends," "plans," "estimates," "anticipates," "hopes" or the negative version of these words or other comparable words. You should not rely on forward-looking statements since they involve known and unknown risks, uncertainties and other factors which are, in some cases, beyond Park's control and which could materially affect its results of operations, financial condition, cash flows, performance or future achievements or events.
All such forward-looking statements are based on current expectations of management and therefore involve estimates and assumptions that are subject to risks, uncertainties and other factors that could cause actual results to differ materially from the results expressed in these forward-looking statements. You should not put undue reliance on any forward-looking statements and Park urges investors to carefully review the disclosures it makes concerning risks and uncertainties under "Risk Factors" and in Park's Annual Report on Form 10-K for the year ended December 31, 2023, as such factors may be updated from time to time in its periodic filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission (the "SEC"), which are accessible on the SEC's website at www.sec.gov. Except as required by law, Park undertakes no obligation to update or revise publicly any forward-looking statements, whether as a result of new information, future events or otherwise.

I recovered because I was thrown from psych unit to psych unit from psych unit. First I got crisis called and was sent to a youths mental hospital for general issues (people for sh, suicide, Ed’s, depression etc) And then once my one and a half week was over They shipped me to a residential eating disorder clinic for a month back to a general youth mental ward For idk how long then to a residential disorder clinic long term for about 4 months and by release I had just kind of given up. I was worse mentally and willing to ‘see it through’ because if recovery didnt make me better like they said it would I would’ve just ended my life when I decided my recovery’s grace period was over. That never happened and I kind of begrudgingly trudged along for a while. Everything I’ve been fed to encourage me to recover is either ‘think about your family. Think about your friends’ and all that ordeal ontop of all this big talk about ‘food freedom’ and stuff but I just. Don’t see the point for striving for. Let alone food freedom. It doesn’t appeal to me I. I don’t know why I SHOULD. want it. I was fine and content with my eating disorder Especially since now I’m fat, suicidal and depressed. The only difference being a year has passed and I’ve gained weight I didn’t want. I don’t see why that is a life worth living. Nothing these clinics have ever done for me made me happier or feel free. I don’t see the point for ‘recovering’ with other people in mind. If I don’t want it then I’m just going to relapse the moment I’m able to I’ll just be worse off because there will be a soul crushing guilt along side it. No matter which path I choose I won’t win so I don’t see why I should spend my energy on the One other people want me too that hasn’t brought me an ounce of joy when I was content and safe with the disorder. I was happier then than I am now. I’m guiltier and fatter and more irritable and feeling powerless because the clinics always force you to do things and I spent so long in that stupid cycle.
It’s not that I inherently WANT. to relapse. I guess. But it’s just the easier choice right now and it feels like the clear option. If not even proffwssional help fixed me then what’s the point? I’ve gotten all the shit other people said would make them ‘feel valid’ and would take as a sign to recover (ex;” I’ll recover once I’m sick enough to be hospitalized”) if one option would take less energy and I see as it also having more upsides then why choose the other one when I gave it an entire year to work and it didn’t. But I also Gave It An Entire Year. That’s a long time. A long time to just leave alone. Recovery feels like a toxic relationship. My weight sure as hell is already there but I don’t understand how to get my MIND there. Should I even try or am I too far gone mentally to back track and fix my mindset

My second playthrough of Stellaris.
Writing a story while playing improves the strongest part of this game: The role playing. I did it mostly for myself, but i guess it never hurts to share.
It's pretty long for a reddit post. (short compared to some other AARs tho).
I played the pre-defined Gorthikan race. Their origin is Overtuned Genetics. Democratic scavengers with mutagenic spas. Fanatic egalitarian materialist.
*SPOILER WARNING*
2200: We overthrew the shackles of mindless ravaging and tyranny with our bravery. We would not succumb to our animal like existence. Gene splicing gave us the answers. Life for everyone got easier. With all this pressure taken away from us, we would finally be able to create a Government. A place for every Gorthikan to be represented. Freedom would be our guide. Self improvement our Sword. To the stars!
2205: Our scientist informed us of our biosphere in danger. We would need to research catastrophic events on other planets. With only one planet, this is of major importance. We found one planet, but its not very habitable. The search goes on.
2208: We found a planet worth colonizing. Our colonist are on the way.
2210: Another alpine world found! A glorious day for all Grothikans. We have decided to improve fertility, but the genetic splicing made our species fragile. Leading positions are hard to fill, with leaders only serving for 10-15 years. This takes a huge toll on our unity as a species. Maybe more splicing has to be made, in order to increase the lifespan. For now, we must fill the stars with the abundance of our citizens.
2215: It turned out our recent splicing was a fatal mistake. With our populations life span toll, governing a galactic civilization would become impossible. Our latest leader served less than a year. We would fall into chaos if would not intervene immediately. Splicing had to be conducted NOW. Our scientist came up with a genius trait, which would automatically adjust citizens to their jobs. We needed to incorporate this in exchange for some reproduction, and gain a lot of lifespan in return. Sadly it took many years to modify our species. Only hope could carry us further from here.
2218: We encountered sentient alien life! They seem to be fungus in nature, but form a usual Space faring civilization. Fascinating.
2220: Early years of space colonization have been really rough for us. Still about 15 more years until the splice fixing would be complete. 2 great habitable worlds are locked in a system with what seems space amoeba. Those creatures are fending us off. With one fleet of corvettes destroyed, we had to realize that, our military technology would have to improve if we wanted to take that system.
2221: War has been declared on us. The first Alien nation we met is now trying to beat us into vassals. With our fleets weakened we have to scramble to not get overrun. Things looking more dire by the minute.
2222: With no fleets by the start of the war we were forced to accept submission. We lost a system and are now dominated by those fungal creatures. Our Agreements with them were dire. No further expansion and 15% tax on goods. We could only hope they would treat us with more respect later.
2228: After a few tough years we were able to negotiate the terms of our servant ship. We would be free to expand, and not taxed. Maybe there would be a chance for our civilization, if just a slim one. The stresses of galactic wars and resource shortages had taken their toll on the population. Unfortunately one of our planets started to rebel.
2232: The rebellion had long been quenched easily. Our genetic alterations finally commenced. New hopes were rising. Unfortunately climate changed completely on one of your planets, and it turned into an ocean world. Not quite habitable for our people, but it would have to suffice. Luckily we research robotics. That would make things a bit easier. It also turns out that our latest genetics program was a success. Our civilization is manageable now, since individuals can grow into significant personalities due to their increased lifespans.
2243: After a calm period of economic growth we decided it would be time to challenge our overlord. Enough oppression. Rally the fleets.
2246: We won! Finally free from their control, we decided to bide our time until we could return the favor. For now, we had gotten control of 2 of their systems as a bonus.
2248: Our improved robotics now allow for specialized robots. Finally, we have effective workers for our ocean planet. After a gradual replacement, we hope to resettle our real citizens to a more suitable planet. Habitable planets are much less common than anticipated. We still only possess 4 worlds, and they are getting crowded. Most of them are quite small. We decided we would try putting a colony on a tropical world. Not very habitable for us cold-loving creatures, but maybe our robots could do most of the work there.
2257: While we were preparing to vassalize our fungal neighbors, another empire to the south declared war on us. They wish to vassalize us. Traumatic memories come ashore. We discovered them about a year ago. They are reptilian. We don't have much more information. To war!
2263: We are close to victory over the cold-blooded snake-eyes. But our fleets are so far away from our old rival, the fungal fiends, that we decided to build a second fleet. We declared war to vassalize them and marched onwards with our secondary fleet.
2266: Our society had a breakthrough! With the combined might of the unity between us, we've gotten our society even more focused on what even united us in the first place. New fields of genetics lay before us. We would ascend.
2267: We have encountered quite a few space faring civilizations by now. A multitude of them proposed to create a galactic council. That sounds promising. Maybe it could get more peaceful around here.
2268: We have beaten the cold-blooded and gotten 6 systems in reparations, but the fungoids are proving hardy. With only a small fleet of ours in the northern conflict, we cannot win the war effectively even though we have the upper hand. We will settle on the status quo for now, still planning to return in a few years. Their atrocities of the first war still reverberate to this day.
2272: The scientific community proposed a technology to alter our species' habitability towards specific planets! In preparation, we would send colony ships to every planet we were able to reach. This news came at the right time. Our planets are bursting with populations.
2277: One more year until our truce with the snake-eyes ends. Shipyards are converting every alloy we have into fleets. 2282: We would have loved to attack the fungal menace in the north, but it's very far from the south, and down there, our truce with the snake-eyes would end. Our cunning plan: draw the snake-eyes into a quick war, with the intention of a quick truce. With the forced peace in the south, we could concentrate our fleets on the north without danger from below.
2283: Our scientists had a massive breakthrough! Genetics would now be possible almost without constraints. Ascension had come. Each and every citizen elevated to perfection for its purpose.
Modification template creation would start immediately. The masses of Gorthikans would be modified to either be shaped for dry, wet, or cold environments. But we would not stop there. Genetics had so much more to offer.
The generalist Gorthikans would live long lives, be happier, less unruly, and very efficient at industrious tasks. In addition, they would adapt to whatever task they picked up. Perfection.
The less common Gorthikans would be next. We only created them from clone vats, since we could control exactly where those would be needed, and they would not reproduce out of control, since there were never many jobs for such citizens anyway. We made them incredibly smart. Tests showed that they would be 50% smarter than their peers. Artists and bureaucrats were designed to live long, happy lives, with an urge for the betterment of other people's lives.
Lastly, in a fortunate coincidence, we managed to find gene samples for a species able to survive the harshest post-apocalyptic landscapes. We perfected those mammals to live on the huge tomb world that happened to be in our borders. They would be obedient and strong, perfect for lowly works.
From now on, robots would be obsolete. Sentient life was more than just superior.
With our new plan set in action, we needed tremendous amounts of biomass.
2292: What was supposed to be a quick stratagem, turned out to be a nail-biting war of attrition against the snake-eyes. We could barely whittle them down. But our prize was phenomenal. 6 star systems and 1 huge relic world. With those achievements behind us, we were looking northwards to our fungal rivals. It was time to settle this once and for all.
2293: Our fleets in position, there was a moment of calamity. In our early days of space fare, we were taught that the strong would get their way. Our magnificent creations, each and every one perfect, were threatened. Threatened by the imperfect. It was time we got our way. Perfection should rule over the galaxy. As we would make every life form flawless. Other empires would not see our plans with mistrust. We were preparing to bring our gift by force. From now on, other empires called us the Galactic Nemesis from then on.
2298: We learned some valuable lessons during this war. Our enemy would absolutely not surrender multiple systems to us and be our vassal. They would rather die. We are not at that point yet. Another offense at a later point will subjugate them. We are patient.
2302: The snake-eyes in the south kept cursing our way. It's only a matter of time until they declared war. We had to end it once and for all. Use the leftover specimens as genetic material. We started by paying raiders. Hiring a few mercenaries wouldn't hurt either. Our fleets were strong. So it begins. To war!
2313: With a last effort, the reptilians were able to muster out one last powerful fleet. We couldn't push further. But they lost 80% of their star systems. About half of them fell into our possession. Construction vessels were on the way to conquer the others. The snake-eyes would no longer pose a threat to us. Gorthikans could rest easier.
2320: The snake-eyes would prove sturdier than we thought. They formed alliances with multiple other empires. We set out to crush them again. This time supporting a rebellion from within them.
2321: Our species is divided. We gave them everything. Freedom. Perfect bodies. Great living standards. But we have always been rebels at heart. Seemingly even the best splicing could not get rid of that. Half of the population wanted to conquer the galaxy. The other half wanted to embrace peace and compassion for the alien nations. Overall unhappiness took hold in our empire. Rebellions sprung up from time to time. Enforcement and distractions were necessary to keep the population in check. Did we go too far? Our hatred was sparked by the attacks on us. Now we were the aggressors. Did we go too far?
2325: The wars on multiple fronts spread us too thin. We won against the snake-eyes, but the fungus managed to get away with a white peace status quo. Again. The fallen empires start threatening us and our citizens shake in fear. Frustration settles in. The once so great vision and unity is no more. Hatred within and without our nation. There is no turning back either. Everybody hates us and wants to see us dead. The economy is decent but cannot support our required fleet. We took every planet we could. Unemployment is still high.
2331: We had shifted our focus inwards. What worth is freedom if you have no choice? We created opportunities for our citizens. Theaters on every planet. An abundance of jobs. After all, if we were determined to bring our way to the universe, it'd better be worth it.
2332: We were finally able to construct hyper relays. The century-old problem of fleet logistics would become far less detrimental.
2334: Dormant empire threatened us for the third time. This time it was enough. Fleet production to the maximum.
2335: With no attack from the fallen ones, we decided to use our fleets to attack the cursed fungal people. Success came fast this time. We relied on our spacecraft until now. But the first breakthrough in this century-long conflict was achieved by our ground forces. Our gene-soldiers would make short work of planetary defenses. Perfection would prevail after all. With 4 planets full of new citizens taken from them, our researchers had lots to do in order to ascend them to perfection. They would be grateful after all. Free of inadequacies, free citizens in our egalitarian nation.
2336: Formation of the galactic council. We couldn't care less. The other empires were neither free nor perfect. We would bring it to them. No matter what they say.
2343: An all-out war with the lizard fiends was at full swing. The hatred between our species surged to new heights. Every Gorthikan could feel it. A mysterious connection. Our scientists said it came from the Shroud. Some raised their voices in question, asking if we had gone mad. Did our genetic splicing take its toll after all? Billions had died in our wake. There was no turning back.
2348: In an unforeseen event, the Panaxalan Horde united under a Khan. Their fleets were absolutely massive. All other wars had to be put to rest for now. We had made great land gains. We could come back later.
2358: Luckily, the horde was concentrating on other empires. We lost a few systems here and there, but the losses were acceptable. We decided it was time to level the playing field and erase some of the tiny empires in the area. With them removed, the big players in the area would not have to tread so carefully in the future.
2361: The horde started turning our way. We managed to destroy their second-biggest fleet and one of their flagships. Their biggest fleet wiped out our fighters shortly after. Mass production from all starports would hopefully suffice.
2364: The Great Khan's fleet was destroyed. The coward escaped through hyperspace. The war is not over. Our fleets shall push as fast as they can through their territory. Sadly, a vile necropolis kingdom declared war on us, and we had to spread our fleets thin.
2365: The Khan already had a second fleet assembled. Seems like he would not give up easily.
2366: We were able to bruise the necropolis kingdom hard enough to make them settle for a status quo. Just in time. Our forces needed to race to meet the Khan's second fleet. No time for repairs. Meanwhile, our eyes turned west. During all our fighting in the north and south, the Ruphaarian Hive was left unchecked for a century. Their unobtrusive looks were deceiving. Insignificant mammals at first glance, but connected via a fascinating connection, they acted as one individual. In either case, their empire was massive. They took the fungal people as vassals recently. Our fighting in the south and east needed to come to a conclusion soon.
2367: The Great Khan is dead! New, infighting empires were founded. With our fleets bordering one of them, we decided to subjugate the closest one. Such uprisings shall never happen again.
2370: The Galactic Community declared us an existential galactic threat. All we wanted was to bring freedom and perfection. Maybe our methods were not diplomatic, but our motives were good. Sacrifices had to be made. Billions so far. With everyone against us now, trillions to come. Probably. Maybe there was another way out. Our scientists proposed a new device: the Aetherophasic Engine. Combined with the immense star-eater ships, we could get closer to tapping into the shroud, the mysterious thing which connected all of us. We had to see it through.
2371: The onslaught from all sides was immense. When war was declared on us, our fleets were completely out of position. To our demise, the Ruhaarian Hive used a wormhole close to our home planet to bring in massive fleets. Our only hope was that our hyperlanes could get us into position fast enough. Due to a fatal error in miscommunication between our scientists and mega-facility team, our starbases were not upgraded to the citadel design, which was needed to produce further Star-Eaters. Who would have thought that the destruction of our species might come down to such an embarrassing error? Our only chance was to defend longer with our normal fleets.
2373: Defense was manageable. The other empires in the galaxy were no match for a conglomerate of perfected species after all. Attacks were still underway, but the surprise attack was defeated, and the brunt of their fleets shattered.
2385: Other empires had no fight left in them anymore. Our Star-Eaters left a wake of destruction. More than that, our neighboring empires glowed up in supernovae. Unusable star systems with nothing left except black holes remained. Our rivalry with the fungoids seemed so childish and innocent. The snake-eyes were about to meet the same fate. The citizens whom we integrated into our empire before the great star feast were all that was left of them.
2395: The galaxy started to change. Not in the visuals in the sky. Most systems were not connected to a hyperlane anyway. But the galactic map of charted systems did even more. Half the Ruphaarian Hives' worlds were devoured by black holes.
2398: Our hold on the shroud grew with every stage of the project. Soon not only our bodies would be perfect, but our minds as well. Perfect in every aspect.
2399: The fabric of space tore apart, the being of the void entered our space. We had no more mercy for them than for the other casualties of this war. The price had to be paid. But after all, a universe in flames was a sight to behold.
2409: The shroud is fighting with all its frenzy not to be invaded. Mad avatars pour into our dimension as it lies in anguish.
2418: The Aetherophasic Engine is brimming with the dark energy of countless stars. We would only have to activate it and ascend. Nothing of what has been could describe what would be. Perfected beings in a flawless new existence. The destruction of the whole galaxy was the price. As an inconceivable number of beings perished, we were taken somewhere, where those things don't have meaning anymore.

Introduction:

Hello, and welcome to the /hockey Pick em' Playoff Pick 'em Challenge! I'll be running the Playoff Challenge on a round-by-round basis, and I'll be making one thread per round. You'll be picking multiple variables for each series, with varying point values. This is the thread for the third round, the Conference Finals.

2nd Round Results:

1st Place: ghost_curse123 with 23 points.
2nd Place: kk451128 and Kroger453PredsFan with 22 points.
4th Place: ChopinBallades, lHansBrix, and Morderator94 with 21 points.
Second round results can be found here.

First Round Results:

These are only being announced now because of the first and second rounds overlapping.
1st Place: ajhockeystar with 30 points.
2nd Place: RedSlider18 with 28 points.
3rd Place: Kroger453PredsFan with 27 points.
First round results can be found here.

Overall Results:

1st Place: Kroger453PredsFan with 49 points.
2nd Place: ajhockeystar and Morderator94 with 46 points.
4th Place: ChopinBallades and kk451128 with 43 points.
Alphabetical overall results can be found here.

Round 3: Conference Finals

Here is what you'll be picking this round for each series:
6 Points:

• Pick the winner of the series.

4 Points:

• Pick the number of games played in the series.

2 Points:

• Pick one player from either team who will record a game winning goal for their team. There is only a possibility of one point for this, even if your player records more than one game winning goal.
  
• What will the total goal differential be between the two teams? (Ex: 5. You do not need to specify which team will have more goals)
  
• How many total overtime periods will be played in the series?
  
• What player will spend the most time on ice throughout the series? (This excludes goalies)
  

1 Point:

• Which team will have the better power play?
  
• Will the winning team touch the conference championship trophy during the trophy presentation?
  

Submitting Your Pick:

Picks can be submitted for all series that have yet to start. Once a series starts, those picks will be locked. If you decide to make a change in one of your picks, that's fine, just edit your post. However, picks for a series will be locked once the series starts (even if you make an edit).
Feel free to post your picks however you’d like, but feel free to use, or modify this simple table template:

Series Winner	Games	GWG	Goal Diff	OT	TOI	PP	Trophy Touch?
Rangers/Panthers	4/5/6/7	XXX	#	#	XXX	Rangers/Panthers	Yes/No
Stars/Oilers	4/5/6/7	XXX	#	#	XXX	Stars/Oilers	Yes/No

If you have any questions, please leave it in the comments below. More questions will be added as the rounds go on, and I am taking suggestions for a few additional (fair) prop picks. Thank you everyone and Good luck!
Live Standings can be found here. I will try to update as soon as I can, to make them as updated as possible.

Matchups & Lock times:

New York Rangers vs Florida Panthers
Series Preview Picks will lock on Wednesday May 22nd at 8:00 PM ET.
 
Dallas Stars vs Edmonton Oilers
Series Preview Picks will lock on Thursday May 23rd at 8:30 PM ET.

Hello again velo, It's me. The guy that rides uphill in Japan. On my last post I mentioned some differences in racing in Japan saying it was for another post. Well, there appeared to be some interest in me making that post. As I mentioned then... I tend to ramble. I'm an English teacher at a small high school which leaves me with a lot of free time. I enjoy spending that time researching anything from training methodology to obscure Japanese history. I decided to use some of that time to write about road racing in Japan and it turned into... well, whatever this is. It's (sort of) a guide to racing your bike over here. I've organized it into sections, so feel free to read it all or skip through them. At the end I've attached racing adjacent notes as well as a small bio.
If this post is not appropriate for this subreddit, I understand. And while I don't want to self-promote I spend most of my time reading about Japan not only because I live here, but also because my wife and I host a podcast. We mostly ramble about our lives here as foreigners. It's mostly cultural, but as long time competetive cyclists we often talk about bikes too. We host a website where I write random articles, which is where this is ultimately hosted, with photos. If you're curious you can google my username and find us.
I tried to think about things I've learned along the way and put it into writing for anyone in the future that might move to Japan and have an interest in racing. If you have any questions or see any information gaps, feel free to ask! In September we'll be moving to the Netherlands... so maybe I'll have to do this all over again then. Anyway, without further rambling, here it is.
Race License
There are actually quite a lot of road events throughout the country. However, many are marketed towards recreational cyclists. Going as far as incorporating anti-competition clauses in their rules. So what do you do if you want to race? For starters, you’ll head to the Japan Cycling Federation’s website and register for a license. It’s in Japanese, but with the magic of Google Translate it shouldn’t be too hard to navigate. This is also for those currently residing in Japan. I think otherwise you would need an international license issued from your country’s governing body.
While on their website you can check the calendar of events that are scheduled. But, it’s not as simple as where I am from (USA) where once you have a license you can register yourself for almost any event and just show up.
Race Organizers
In most cases while the JCF is the licensing body, they are not the event coordinator. Events are hosted by a number of different governing bodies within the country. There’s the Japan Intercollegiate Cycling Federation (JICF), Japan Cycling League (JCL), prefectural federations such as the Yamaguchi Cycling Federation and finally the Japan Bicyclist Club Federation (JBCF). There are a lot of Js, Cs and Fs in the acronym lexicon over here. In this post I’ll be focusing on the JBCF because it was sold to me as Japan’s premier race organizer and the highest level of racing in Japan. It also seems to have the most robust calendar of events.
Declaration of my bias and shortcoming: The JBCF is the only organizer I’ve had any meaningful experience with. No, they’re not paying me. However I have won a cool towel, a coffee cup and some bar tape at their events. Actually I’ve given them quite a bit of money…
Teams
So you’ve got your JCF license and like me you’ve decided to participate in the JBCF. What’s next? Register for a JBCF account, sign up for events, race your bike? Almost. You do need to register for an account. After that, you need to find a team. That’s right, you need to be registered with a JBCF team to participate in races. This was a surprise to me and also a barrier to entry at first. As a new resident of Japan I didn’t know anyone here let alone a team that would let a random foreigner join.
How’d I do it then? Well, the first team I joined was through a friend of a friend of a friend. My second and current team I ended up getting to know because I took a bunch of KOMs around my new home. I guess Strava KOMs are worth something after all. If you’re looking for a team you could start by asking local shops, they often have a club organization that you can sign up for. If you’re desperate you can also make your own team. It used to only require two people, but I think they increased that to three or four.
Costs
I’m writing this in May of 2024, so the costs will be current as of that month. The USD to JPY conversion is sitting around 1 USD = 155 JPY.
Your first cost will be the JCF license fee. In my case, an elite rider over 23 years old, it was 5,000y for an e-license and 6,300y for the physical one. My first year I used the e-license, but my second year I paid for the physical one as a cool souvenir.
Beyond the license. You’ll need a team kit (bibs & jersey) and you may also be required to pay the athlete registration fee. To join my E1 team in 2024 I paid 43,000 yen. That included one team kit and the registration fee plus some small accessories (gloves, bottle, etc.). In E1 I paid all my own entry fees, which were approximately 8,500y per race.
My JPT experience was a special case. I paid roughly $1,200 (usd). But I received two kits (jerseys & bibs), a speed suit (SS skinsuit), windbreaker, vest, socks, etc. I also had the benefit of the “pro” treatment at races with lots of assistance. Was it a cold rainy day? I could ask for embro and they’d oil me up with a little massage. Needed a bike wash, snacks, or a trainer to warm up on? All provided. And all of my entry fees were covered. I never paid those out of pocket. It was a really cool experience and honestly I think I got my money's worth just in the races that I attended, let alone all the extras. Plus the team was above and beyond hospitable. A really great bunch of people.
Categories
Once you’re on a team you’re good to go! So which category should you race in? The JBCF has 5 big categories: Japan Pro Tour (JPT), Japan Elite Tour (JET), Japan Feminin Tour (F), Japan Youth Tour (Y1 & Y2), and the Japan Masters Tour (M). JET is further broken down into E1, E2 & E3. The general idea is male riders start as E3 and through results they work their way up to E1. If they’re highly motivated they’ll target a placement on a JPT Team.
Unfortunately for the women, I believe there is only one lump “Female” category. But in one of my most recent races a woman lined up with us for our race start. So that may be an option. For the Youth there’s U19 & U17. Masters is similar to the women’s category and I believe there is simply one “Masters” event, without age ranges.
Using what I know (USA Cycling Categories) I’ll try to make a comparison. E3 is your Cat 4/5 or Novice rank. E2 is around Cat 3/4 and E1 is roughly one big P/1/2/3 field. JPT is something like the US’s Domestic Elite field. Some JPT teams (and even some E1 teams) are UCI Continental teams. Although, honestly, some JPT riders are probably equivalent to strong Cat 3s.
In America I raced as a Cat 2 on the road, albeit I was a pretty weak 2. My first year in Japan I raced JPT and was able to hang in the peloton and finish events. My second year I raced as an E1, where I was very competitive and able to fight for podium finishes. That’s my experience and my basis for the above comparisons.
Events
Once you’ve got all the above figured out, it’s time to finally race! The JBCF organizes the following events: Road, Criterium, Hill Climb, Time Trial and Track. Criterium, Time Trial & Track are pretty similar to what you’d find anywhere else in the world. So for this post I’ll really just focus on Road and Hill Climb.
It’s worth noting that except for track, all of these events take place on public roads. But, unlike the USA, it seems the general rule in Japan is that for a race to be a “race” the roads need to be closed to traffic. Sounds great, right? Right! Or, mostly. Japan is a beautiful country with incredible scenery and fantastic road riding. Unfortunately, the JBCF uses very little of this. I think to minimize inconveniencing locals, cut costs, and make their lives easier, most of these events will take place on already closed circuits or around agricultural land (where no one lives or drives anyway). In practice they are “public” roads, but they only need to shut down one or two entrances to close off the entire loop.
Many “road” events are just very long short circuit races. A popular venue that hosts multiple races throughout the season is the Gunma Cycle Sports Center. This is a defunct cycling theme park built in the 1980s with a paved 6 km circuit. Some of the races in the higher categories can be up to 150 km! That’s 25 laps! And, they’ll be pulling riders. When I was racing JPT it was often a big accomplishment just to finish a race. It was a common occurrence for a break to get established with the big teams represented and the rest of the field to sit up, inevitably getting pulled before being lapped. It’s not uncommon for well over half of the field to DNF early on in these longer races. Sometimes to add a little spice to your life, they’ll run the course in the opposite direction one weekend.
So, I’m biased, but that style of “road racing” wasn’t for me. That’s what led me to the Hill Climb. At first, I thought it was just an uphill TT. But, it's a mass start! The last one I did was Mt. Ontake HC which was a 17.7km race gaining 1,150 meters in elevation finishing at an altitude just under 2,200m. I finished in 51 minutes. It’s more like an uphill criterium. You might explode, but you won’t get pulled. It’s also, of course, point to point.
Good things to know about a Hill Climb are the controlled descent and luggage delivery. When you finish you’ll be waiting at the top of the climb for all other riders and categories to finish. Sometimes this means you’re waiting for an hour or more! Thankfully the morning of the race you can give a bag to the organizers and they will deliver it to the top of the mountain. This is a great way to make sure you have extra layers and snacks waiting for you. Just make sure it’s packed in a bag that you can then easily carry with you on the descent.
Be extra mindful of the forecast. At Ontake in 2024 we started at the base of the mountain in temperatures around 16 celsius. At the summit it was 7 degrees and it started to rain! Thankfully I had a teammate who had driven to the top (you must register your vehicle) and he gave me a lift back down. If you’re riding down, the descent will be done in waves which are chaperoned and controlled by officials on motorcycles.
Registering
I can only tell you my experience and I’m not certain that this is how it always works. When I was in the JPT, I never paid for an event. Each team could send six riders and the team manager made a selection based on which riders requested to go to which event, they would then register you to go. In my E1 team I haven’t run into any rider maximums (we only have a few E1 riders), and I pay for each event. I still tell the team’s manager which event I want to travel to, they register me, but then I pay them back.
The Day Of
The JBCF events have been very organized. The week before they will release a list of registered riders along with a technical guide. The technical guide will include information about the course, where to park, where to check in, how to pin your numbers and more. It’s only in Japanese. Google Translate will be your best friend. Or if you’re lucky you may have a teammate that can speak some English and help you out.
Usually the check in process begins a couple of hours before the start time. You’ll go to license control and pick up your numbers and timing chip. If you’re doing a hill climb and need to, this is also the period of time you drop off your luggage to be taken to the summit. Get kitted & pinned up, then go to the “vehicle control”. They will check your bike against a jig, kind of like what the UCI might use, as well as check the weight (take your bottles off the bike when you hand it to them) and make sure your numbers are pinned correctly. A keen eyed inspector may even look at your helmet to make sure it has the JCF certification sticker. You could possibly be told to change helmets if yours doesn’t have the sticker. When they tell you that everything is OK, you’ll go to the table and sign the box with your name.
There are also meetings that will be happening. But, you shouldn’t have to worry about that. If the team manager can’t be present they will send an “attendant”. This person is responsible for going to the meetings and reporting back to the riders.
Podiums & Prizes
Look how far you’ve come. After all that you’re headed to the podium, which in many events will be six deep. What should you expect? Maybe a cool trophy or a medal? It’s even better. How about a formal certificate signed and stamped by the JBCF President! That’s right, you’ll be receiving an A4 sheet of paper. And yes, when they hand it to you they’ll turn it to face you, use both hands to hand it over and bow. And yes, you should receive it with both hands and bow in return. I plan to frame and hang mine like some kind of college diploma. You’ll probably receive a prize as well. Something like what I mentioned earlier in this post, a towel, cup, umbrella, etc.
Where’s the money? If you want to hold a giant cheque with a big number (because it’s in yen) you’ll need to be racing in the top category, JPT. In this category the podium is only three deep. One time in a race I had a teammate finish 3rd and win some money. I never saw any of it, which was fair as I didn’t really contribute to his result. And I never podiumed myself. So I’m not sure how the payout actually works. Did he get to keep it all? Did the team take it? Who knows. I hope he kept it all, he’s a great guy.
Other Notes
Gachinko Cycle TV & Photo Galleries. Almost all JBCF events are live streamed & archived on YouTube! There’s a company called Gachinko Cycle TV that provides coverage. This includes camera motos as well as stationary cameras. A lot of photographers also come to the events and a photo gallery is posted on the JBCF website after the events take place.
Events & Categories. Not every event will be run for every category. A motivator for me to move from JPT to E1 was that not every hill climb has a JPT category, but they all seem to have E1. My first time racing at Ontake I was in the “Open” category and not eligible for any points or placement.
Outlier events. There are some events like the Niseko Classic (Gran Fondo World Championship Qualifier) and the Tour of Okinawa. These are one off events which are not part of the JBCF or any other federation I mentioned above. But, they are “real” road races on closed roads. There are also plenty of “cookie” rides. But be aware, like mentioned earlier, many of these explicitly say you shouldn’t come and try to ride for a certain time. I think it’s related to what I’ve been told about races having to take place on closed roads. These cookie rides likely have no traffic control. And instead of a cookie, you might get a bag of dry rice to cook later. Happened to me once.
The Hill Climb might be Japan’s most accessible event. There are actually quite a few of them around the country outside of the JBCF and they can be registered for on SportsEntry - I don’t think you need a JCF license.
What about other disciplines? I’ll toss this in here at the end because I think it’s worth mentioning. If you’re not racing Track, Cyclocross or Road… you’re not going to be doing much racing. Mountain biking is still very much in its infancy here in Japan. Despite its incredible landscape, there’s a shocking lack of good mountain biking. My wife and I moved here from Western North Carolina and she’s a former Age Group XC National Champion as well as podium finisher in events like the Pisgah Stage Race and Collegiate Nationals in STXC, XC & Omnium. So believe me, we have tried to find some good mountain biking here and it’s rough.
There are some lift-access downhill courses and we actually went to one for a “gravel” race which my wife won. This was held on what was essentially a non-technical STXC course. Disappointing is a bit of an understatement. There IS Grinduro Japan… but it’s insanely expensive and again, not really a race.
This honestly has had a big impact on our decision to ultimately move away from Japan. But, keep an eye out for developments in places like: https://www.minamialpsmtb.com/ https://namba.ngo/ https://www.nsd-hakuba.jp/iwatake_mtb_park/en/
Cyclocross has a big following in Japan and the calendar appears to be full of events throughout the season. If we were staying long term, I’d be buying a cross bike. Unfortunately I don’t have one, so I never got into that scene while living here.
Although this is mostly about racing in Japan, if you come here to race you’ll also (hopefully) be riding your bike for fun. Please be aware some laws work differently here. Although I’ve never personally run into trouble I’ve been told things like: bikes MUST use the crosswalk if turning across traffic (no turning like a car turns) & that bikes CANNOT exceed 30 km/h (a bike shop owner told me this). My wife and I have often talked about this as well… while in the USA drivers can be malicious towards cyclists, Japanese drivers are often blissfully ignorant towards them. Always ride defensively. Drivers will make eye contact with you and proceed to pull out in front of you expecting you to either not be traveling with speed or to stop for them. Even in “polite” Japan, the Car is King. I’ve had far more close calls with drivers here than I had in America. Having said that, it’s still a wonderful country to explore by bike.
Who Am I?
If you read all of this, thanks! I hope that you learned a little bit about road racing in Japan. But, who am I? I’m an American from Western North Carolina, now living in Japan. Ishikawa Prefecture to be specific. I’ve been a cyclist since 2011 when I bought my first road bike. In America I’m a Cat 2 on the road and an XC MTB Cat 1 with extensive experience training for and racing in a variety of disciplines. Road riding and racing is my true love and I honestly only got into MTB to hang out with my girlfriend. I guess it was worth it because the only National Championship medals I have are from Team Relay & Team Omnium. Oh, we ended up getting married too. So that was cool. I also got into the gravel craze thanks to the plethora of racing options in the South East. I’ve stood on multiple podiums with the internet’s favorite privateer, Dylan Johnson. And I’ve dabbled in bikepacking, bike touring & ultra endurance riding. Really, I’m just a guy that thinks about bikes too much.

first
Luna VI query: Set the source to the leaked files of the first reconnaissance operation of Irisa.
Done!
Luna VI query: What did Nathan do during the first hour of the war?
***
From the instant he opened his eyes, Nathan's morning was chaotic. It all began with the ground shaking beneath him, jolting him into a state of awareness. He then was greeted by the sight of Amara. She was leaning against a corner, covered in purple from head to toe as she screamed at someone through an earpiece that she was pressing with one of her claws.
His good morning was overhearing one piece of bad news after the other.
The rest of Amara's group had been ambushed early in the morning; many were dead, injured, or missing.
A war had erupted in the sky and her allies were trying to push back the enemy forces, but the battle persisted; the outcome was uncertain.
Zara was being brought to them, but Amara had lost contact with Igmila's group who was bringing her, only receiving confirmation from another group that a rescue pod was spotted at a distance.
And when he thought that things couldn't get any worse, he heard a bang followed by the AI reporting that Ryo had shot down a drone somewhere near their position.
"Open the tent!" Red had conquered Amara's body.
None of the scenarios Nathan had contemplated the previous night had prepared him for such a chaotic morning. "Give me a second."
He only wanted a chance to get his gun from his backpack and explain why he had it in the first place, even though he suspected Amara was already aware he had it. But she didn't let him. "Now!"
She had never felt so distant to him as the moment she said that single word, which led him to just comply as he stood up and followed her in silence. But this frail silence only masked his morning grumpiness, magnified by the dire circumstances and her cold demeanor toward him.
Nathan had barely caught a glimpse of Ryo and Elysira at a distance when he muttered. "It wouldn't have been so hard to say a few words to fill me in, you know."
Amara's eyes were transfixed on the smoking pieces of the drone when she whipped her head around, glaring at him with her orange eyes. "My people are fighting a war and dying. How can you demand my time when Yelara is hurt and barely escaped alive?"
"Oh, come on, I'm not demanding anything." He scoffed, shaking his head. "I just don't think it would have been so hard to tell me what you intend to do in the next five minutes."
The tip of her tail pressed against his chest, as red and purple coexisted on her skin.
"I am heading up the mountain to find Igmila." She spoke in a detached voice, pulling her tail back and turning around, and then she sprinted in the gap between himself and the tent.
He caught a glimpse of gray on her neck and all his grumpiness was gone, replaced by a cold shiver running down his spine. With his arms moving faster than his thoughts, he grabbed her by the tail, preventing her from going anywhere.
"You absolutely can't do this Amara." Nathan looked down at the tail he held with both hands and swallowed a lump of saliva in fear of her reaction. But that still didn't prevent him from finishing what he had to say, "It's too dangerous."
Amara's eyes sought his, causing him to suspect she would demand to be released or try to free herself by force, but she did something else. "All of this is because of you. Had I not come to your tent, I would be there to assist them."
Nathan caught a glimpse of green around her back spots, which let him know that there was a hint of guilt in her words. But did that justify blaming everything on him and running into danger without thinking?
If not for the awful night followed by an awful morning, Nathan might have just taken the blame and hugged her. But he too had his limits, "How is that fair? Blame me all you want, but nothing will change that you had all the chances in the world to go back and you didn't. I'm not saying that you could have done anything abo-"
"Indeed." Gray flashed for a moment before red flowed among her black spots. "This night was a waste of time." His grip faltered at her words and she pulled her tail back from among his fingers. "I should have stayed with Yelara to help her tend to her wounds."
Nathan bit his lips in frustration. How was it possible to agree with her words, yet still feel the sharp sting in his heart?
And if that was not enough, Ryo had to step in to rub salt in the wound.
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
With Elysira’s tail wrapped around his wrist as she averted her eyes from Amara, Ryo spoke, "Please don't tell me you're mad because the plant lover couldn't get it up."
Nathan blinked fast not believing his eyes. Ryo was not only shirtless but there were a lot of scratches on his neck and below. Elysira’s long strands were also a mess, but even without that, their physical closeness alone would be enough of a hint of how much fun they had at night.
When Nathan glanced at Amara to gauge her reaction, she had already crossed her arms, looking at him angrily. Which immediately made him feel as if Ryo’s not-funny joke was true although he knew it wasn't.
It took Nathan a considerable amount of self-retainment to not walk up there and rearrange Ryo's handsome face with his fist, or at least attempt to do so.
A few seconds passed before he said, "Why are you here?"
Ryo didn't even bother to look at him, his eyes focusing solely on Amara. "Information. I want her to tell me what she knows about this war."
Amara didn't look pleased to help, but she still informed him about the ambush and even alerted him that even their current position would soon be unsafe.
As If things weren't already bad enough, Ryo frowned and hurried to instruct Elysira to get his things as soon as Amara had finished talking. Nathan felt like he was in a war movie where everything was happening too fast for his emotions and reason to follow.
It was only when he saw Ryo raising his gun skywards that Nathan’s anger subsided, contained by the prospect of how bad their situation was. Ryo movements were fluid and methodical, but he never pulled the trigger on the many drones that appeared high above and, instead, retreated to take cover behind a tree.
Only now the seriousness of the situation sank in for Nathan.
He didn't even care that he hadn't explained to Amara why he had a gun yet, rushing inside the tent after exchanging a glance with her.
After crossing the circular door, he found only a few items on the ground: a pair of boots, his sleeping bag, and his backpack with all his equipment inside.
Nathan was quick, wearing his boots first before retrieving his belt, knife, and holster from the backpack. With a sequence of swift movements, he strapped the sheathed knife and holster to the belt and cinched it around his waist, securing it in place before closing the backpack and dashing out the door with his gun in one hand and the backpack in the other.
Already outside, Nathan found it weirdly reassuring that Ryo was in the same spot as before, but that only lasted until he tried to find Amara, but found nothing no matter where he searched for her.
He dropped his backpack, feeling at a loss. How could he have allowed her to venture beyond his sight when he knew that guilt was clouding her judgment?
Only when he had already cupped his hands around his mouth to scream her name that he felt a touch right above his heel—her tail.
"Psst..."
Wiping his head, Nathan saw Amara's whole body mimicking the colors of his tent, making herself quite hard to spot.
"I thought you were gone." He joined her, stooping down beside the tent as relief washed over him.
"It might be too late to join my soldiers." She didn't allow her colors to change, but the translator conveyed a hint of sadness. "I lost contact with all the teams who were coming here."
"Amara I-"
Nathan was about to attempt to make things right with her when Ryo’s assertive voice reached him. "Listen up, those fuckers are jamming our comms and they will be here at any time. Take the MLBCS and find a clearing to use it, I doubt they can interfere with the laser. Just don't forget that your immediate safety comes first or else you might not be among the living when the pod arrives."
Ryo ran back to his tent as soon as he was done speaking, leaving Nathan questioning his own intelligence. How come he had never even considered leaving the planet? A single glance at Amara and he knew why. But did he have any other option?
Staying and fighting to hold his position was something he briefly considered. But did he have a chance when even Ryo decided to leave after seeing the drones?
Mission control might give him other options, so Nathan decided to try his luck despite Ryo’s warning.
Unable to establish a two-way connection.
He confirmed the interference with the communication with a single thought, kicking his backpack in frustration even though it was expected.
Why did it have to be so hard to accept that Ryo was right and leaving the planet was his best option?
But would Ryo truly leave the planet and leave Elysira behind?
Nathan forgot Amara who was beside him and screamed, not allowing this question to stay in his mind, "Wait, what are you gonna do?"
Ryo replied as he waited for Elysira, "I'm not leaving the planet unless mission control finds a way to save Ely too."
Nathan's eyes widened, feeling like an idiot as he brought up a pop-up window showing the schematics of the rescue pods. They were designed to be fast vehicles capable of transporting a single person to the space station, but Earth's government hadn’t skimped on the design, which included various components that could be discarded, such as medical supplies and search and rescue equipment.
He used the AI to run the calculations and found that Amara would likely be able to go with him, that is if they wedged themselves into the vehicle and discarded everything else.
Nathan was about to share his findings with Ryo when he caught a glimpse of him and Elysira disappearing into the woods, abandoning their tent behind as they ran away.
A sense of urgency struck him at that moment, but it was easily forgotten when Amara's voice struck even harder, "You should go."
"What do you mean?" He sought her eyes, but she avoided his gaze, facing to the ground.
"Do what Ryo suggested." She took a small pause before she went on. "Leave the planet."
"The hell I will!" He punched the tent. "Not without you." He could only assume she was saying this because she didn't know she could leave with him. "You'll come with me, and the pod will take us to the space station."
"Your species will refuse to take me." He saw a hint of purple on her neck. "Before the mission started your people told us you humans will not get involved in our wars." She finally made eye contact, and the purple on her skin intensified. "My best chance to survive this is to hide in the mountains and wait for reinforcements."
"You don’t understand, Amara." He didn't have time for a full explanation of what humans considered not getting involved. "No one in mission control will want to leave you here to die just because of some stupid rule." He then spoke his heart out without a care in the world. "And even if they do, they will take you anyway if say I won't go anywhere without you."
A hint of yellow could be seen among her camouflaged skin, but before she could say what she would do, her tail wrapped around his neck and he felt a strong pull to lower his head and bend his knees for cover.
"The rebels are here," she whispered as her ears twitched.
Nathan was tall enough to see the slope on the other side of the tent by just standing, but Amara struggled to see from above the structure, requiring her to stretch her full height and still take little jumps to take peeks.
And it was after doing so that she dropped her camouflage entirely, letting purple run free among her black spots.
Nathan took interest in what she had seen that had caused such a reaction, and he leaned cautiously against the tent and raised his head slowly, prepared to find a few armed Irisians hidden among the trees. But what he found instead was a never-ending line of Irisian advancing downhill at a fast pace towards them.
He understood Amara's reaction now, pulling back the harmer of the revolver as he stared at her. "I need to... do something."
He made up his mind, determined to shoot. But when activated the infrared view mode and took aim at Irisians descending the slope, Nathan froze for a second. This just lasted a moment, and when found the resolve to fire, he had already lifted the gun enough that it wouldn't hit anyone and it would just be a warning shot.
He fired once, twice, and went on until all six rounds were gone, then he noticed their organized marching had stopped, all of them having activated their camouflage. Some even broke the line and retreated uphill.
When he took cover again, Amara was protecting her ears with both hands, looking at him as if he were some sort of monster. Nathan ignored her and rifled through his backpack in search of more ammunition, finding the small box with shining metal bullets after he had searched for some long seconds.
It was only when he released the cylinder to reload the gun that Nathan noticed something.
His hands were shaking.
He ignored it and pressed the extraction rod the remove the cartridges from the cylinder to make room for the new ones, clumsily dropping a few of them as he reloaded.
Amara saw this and stopped him with her tail before he had filled all the chambers.
"I cannot go with you." Her body had been conquered by purple.
"You think I'll leave you behind?" He almost reached his breaking point when she replied.
"No." Her tail touched his cheek gently. "There are too many of them, Nathan." She pulled her tail back as a hint of gray appeared. "My brother will never let me go, he lost too many ships and soldiers to give up without his prize." The gray intensified, squeezing her black spots. "If you die with me on this planet, your species might abandon Irisa forever.
"My chances of hiding in the mountains are slim, but they exist... and even if I fail I will distract them long enough for you to flee."
Her body blended with the surroundings again and Nathan felt that she was about to do something stupid, but he moved faster and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to bend her legs and join him on the ground as she stared at him with wide eyes.
"To hell with this self-sacrifice bullshit." Nathan finally decided what he would do. "Do you think I will die that easy? Guess what, you’re wrong." His hands moved from her shoulder to her back and he embraced her. "Let me tell you what we'll do, we take the MLBCS, we find a clearing, and we go to the space station." He released her and added, almost crazily. "You go with me even if I have to drag you by the tail as you scratch me, you hear me?"
He was not kidding; he grabbed her tail with his left hand, leaving her exterior filled with colors ranging from purple to yellow.
Amara was about to reply when the tent produced a thud noise, sounding as if someone had knocked on a cardboard box. When they turned to the side, there was a tiny hole in the tent dangerously close to Amara's head.
She touched the hole with her finger, and then her whole hand pressed against the side of her head, staring at him without saying a word.
Nathan's heart skipped a beat when he realized what had just happened, and consumed by a rage like he never felt before, he pressed the cylinder of his revolver back into place with just the four bullets inside, pulling back the harmer.
This time there was no hesitation, he quickly stood up and used the infrared view mode to survey the now organized groups of Irisians who had taken a defensive formation, choosing as target an Irisian who had climbed a tree and was pointing a long gun at them.
In just a moment Nathan aimed and pulled the trigger, firing one round after another. The first two missed completely, but the others hit the tree right above the target, making this Irisian panic and release his claws from the wood, only to welcome an ugly fall on the rocks below from several meters above the ground.
He took cover again immediately, but this time noise as if he was facing heavy rain under an umbrella struck his eardrums moments after he had taken cover, making him wince every time he heard the distinct noise of a projectile going through one wall of the tent and stopping the other.
With her tail still among his fingers, Nathan and Amara exchanged several anxious glances as the shooting persisted, only calming down when the rebels realized they were wasting ammunition and the barrage of fire slowly started to lose momentum.
Nathan's heart was racing and she was going through all tones of purple when she broke the silence.
"Fine!" She spoke fast. "If you are being so adamant about tying our fates together, we can do it your way." Her tail escaped his grip, but instead of pulling it back, she coiled it around his wrist. "But we are weaker together, Nathan. I will be a burden to you when you run, and you will be a burden to me when we hide."
"Oh, to hell with that too." Despite his harsh words, just knowing that they were on the same page now was enough to give him some hope. "Sorry. I do all the running and you do all the hiding, does that work for you?"
He didn't wait for her reply and loaded the gun again, this time doing it very fast even though his hands were still shaking.
"You do all the running? I fail to understand you." She said as she stood up to take a peek at the enemies, just to recoil in fear and add, "Explain yourself fast, they are losing the fear of your loud gun."
"Sure." He grasped his backpack bottom and overturned it, emptying its contents in a quick motion. With all the items on the ground, Nathan only took the MLBCS and the little box with his drones that he promptly stored in his pocket. "We won't need any of that, which means my back will be free."
"Are you crazy, I am too heavy f-"
"You're not." Nathan was 6′3″, and he had the nanites ensuring he was as healthy as a human could be. This meant that the short Amara—the top of her head only reaching a little below his shoulder—was not a challenging weight for him to carry given her slender body.
Noticing the doubt in her gaze, he lowered his body even more, turning his back towards her in a way it would be easy for her to climb, hoping this would be all the push she needed.
"You take pleasure in testing my trust, do you not?" The tone of her voice hinted at her reluctance, but she still draped her arms over his shoulder, securing her grip in a way her claws wouldn't hurt him.
Even though they had a plan now, Nathan still felt a chill down his spine at the thought of what he would have to do. And despite knowing that he had taken everything he needed, he anxiously patted down his pocket the make sure the box with the drones was there and remembered to take a handful of bullets, filling up his pockets as some of them fell to the ground.
"Ready?" He asked, trying to sound confident.
"See for yourself." Her tail wrapped around his belly, full of tiny black spots surrounded by purple as far as he could see.
Nathan took a few deep breaths and stood up, getting a glimpse of the many groups that were advancing from both sides, trying to surround them.
It didn't even take him a full second before he started firing his revolver indiscriminately at them while his legs moved on their own, not even waiting for his eyes to decide which path he would take.
Amara's weight escaped his thoughts completely, replaced by the fear evoked by the faint noise of metal breaking the sound barrier around them as soon they left the protection of the tent.
He didn't spare a single glance behind, running downhill at full throttle with bursts of adrenalin fueling his speed. He outran the reach of their guns quite fast, hurdling fallen brunches and putting not only distance but also several tree trunks between them and the hostile force behind.
With Amara's solid grip and occasional shifting of her weight to prove that she was fine, Nathan kept his pace as his muscles burned with exertion.
For a little over ten minutes he kept going, jumping over protruding roots and ducking beneath low-hanging branches. But this couldn't go on forever and eventually, he stopped to catch his breath, bending forward and letting go of items in his hand as Amara released her grip to stand on her own two feet.
His breath was coming in ragged bursts, but that didn't keep him from starting to laugh as he stared at her, whose eyes were gentle and her entire body was filled with hints of yellow.
In a split-second though, her whole demeanor changed, all the yellow giving way to purple and red.
She asked a single question, "Is that device of yours supposed to release smoke?"
The tip of her tail was pointing at the MLBCS, which now had a small hole in it from where a whisp of smoke curled upwards, just like a candle after its flame had been extinguished.
Nathan shook his head and touched his forehead; a single word left his mouth, "Fuck."
***
This was an account based on what Nathan did during the first hour of the war. The previous narrative is based on the events of the morning of the twentieth day of the exploratory mission of Irisa. According to your current settings, no queries will be suggested.
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Last November I had Been on the edge for weeks angry parents friends who i thought weren’t there for me and on top of that trouble with my high school 2 days before my attempted suicide I took a bet to throw a carrot at a student I hated I won’t bring him up too much but I’ve had a grudge on the asshole for a while he always got what he wanted and I only saw him get in trouble once for vandalism in 5th grade anyways I threw they carrot and since he is on the spectrum like me he had a bad reaction except his was to throw a fit in the middle of the cafeteria I just got out of there before someone noticed 2 hours later I was in a study hall and got called into the office to talk with my vice principal he showed me camera footage of me throwing a carrot at the dude he then told me I had 2 lunch detentions and I left with anger in my head I know it was my fault but any other student and nothing would have happened this guy all hell break loose anyways the next day I was in the IE (independent education) period and I was in a study hall room I was talking with some of my friends and I told them I had a list of people to not help or even kill in the event of a nuclear apocalypse ( I’ve been paranoid about that for a while now) and then the day I did it I had got out of gym and the vice principal was waiting for me he pointed at me and told me to go to the office my case manager was there cuz I have a special education plan anyways they told me about what students said on the day prior and how I had to have a meeting the next day after school I just went to my house I finally decided I would try to overdose myself cuz at that point I was sick of life I had been harassed in the weeks prior I had been in trouble with the school I decided I was basically dead inside and that I was not going to succeed in life so I decided why bother I texted one of my friends I told him what happened and to not expect me in school tomorrow I did not directly say I was killing myself and he did not say much but said he wished me luck I texted another friend and her reaction was much different I told her what happened I said she was a good friend to me and wished her Godspeed in life she immediately texted me saying “it’s not worth it don’t do that to yourself you have so much to live for” I kept telling her to Leave it about hour later and I had sheriff deputies in my driveway they kept asking me stuff and I admitted I had taken 25+ pills so they made me go to the hospital my parents were called and I just sat it in a hospital room for the next day with a needle in my arm to give me something that would get rid of the toxins I had texted my friends and they were happy I was okay but I was mad they snitched me out I was then thrown in a psych ward for teens for a few days and I got back to school everyone was happy I was alive but I was still depressed as hell it’s been several months and I don’t know what to do but I know one thing I’m not doing it unless I absolutely agree it wont be an overdose and I won’t tell my friends until it’s too late but I don’t to die at 16 just yet oh and if any of my friends are reading this don’t bother stopping me

I hope everyone here understands that this is just as embarrassing and painful for me to type out as it is for everyone to read. My wife and I have two kids: an adopted 27f daughter, KC and a biological 19m son, MC. MC is autistic and has some difficulties with social skills which keep our wife and I concerned about him, although he is otherwise a healthy young man and he is about to head into college this fall. KC lives in the UK now, though she is visiting home at the moment.
For the past year or so, KC has put up with some mild flirting from our son. It mostly just takes the form of MC staring at her and kind of insisting on being around her more than she’s comfortable with, and it very rarely involves actual touching (my wife and I always shut that down whenever it happens though). Earlier this month, when KC came home, she had a rather awkward moment with her brother when she hugged him as a greeting; her brother held onto her for an extra few seconds or so, and when she released him from the hug, he was noticeably side-eyeing her chest. KC made a joke, telling him that she could tell where he was looking, and she laughed as well. The next day, my wife and I took KC out for a walk, and we sat down on a bench, my wife and I sitting side-by-side with our daughter. We made clear to our daughter that this is all a really awkward transitioning period for our son as his brain matures and matures (our brains don't really fully develop until around 25 years of age), and that while he will eventually come to understand the gravity of what he’s doing with his sister, right now he just doesn’t know. On the other hand, we told our daughter that, essentially, we have higher expectations for her, and that what she said to her brother the other day was out-of-bounds. What my wife and I said shocked KC, and she cried a little bit and had a very crummy expression as she sat between us. My wife tried consoling her, but our daughter just told us to stay away from her and she walked back home by herself. So with all this being said, did we mess up?

For starters, we all work at the same place. Me and her (Trish) are both 24, he (Charles) is 14 years older than us. Me and my co-worker friend (Charles) have been at the same place for about 6 years now. She is relatively new.
Me and her hit it off and had an immediate connection. Although we haven’t officially been dating, we’ve been talking and hanging out.
My co-worker has taken notice of this and told me that he knows her family, and that I should proceed with caution. He basically told me I shouldn’t date her and only bad things will come of it if I do.
So things are going fine when I decide to take a vacation. When I come back a week later, they are both being very flirty with each other and other co-workers have told me that they’ve been hanging out as well.
I don’t wanna be a third wheel and decided to ask both of them about this, they both denied it. Then I decided to get on Facebook (don’t really use it) and I see her telling him she’ll cook him dinner sometime with the 🥰 emoji and got pissed
While we were at work I basically told her he has Chlamydia and it’s her own damn fault
Im not 100% positive if he has Chlamydia, but I have a friend who recently hooked up with him, and she said shes positive she got it from him. Also he regularly brags about having sex with lots of women

(Sorry for bad english) I have been writting a story that came to my mind about 2 years ago. (The story is sooo complicated that is hard to explain whats happening, so you can ask for more context) Basically the story is about a man who wakes up in the middle of a meadow. In all this 90.000 words that I have been writting, it is never explained to the reader that the world is a "dream", not a common dream, but a "shared one". Let me see if I can explain to you: In this world all sort of living form can "grow" an ability. The protagonist is a real person in the world we all know. But he is affected by pressure and enters in a depression state. Then he dreams, and its basically his brain that dreams a sort of journey of the hero. In this world he wake up and sees a dark shadow, this shadow explain to him that he needs to recover x amount of discs(the objective) and let him choose one ability at wish.
The problem is that a few things I explained above is not explained in the book. The reader doesnt exactly knows that it is all a dream, but they can deduce it as they read.
In all this 90.000 words, he became friends with people, doesnt travel alone, explore the world with all its kingdoms and sub-stories. So you start to undertands an even like one or another character.
Then there is this character that has the ability of super intelligence, but inmortality too. He is the only one that has lived for hundreds of years and knows that he is part of a dream. He started to notice a pattern as the years passed: he meets these "strange" people, one wants discs, one wants books, the other wants paintings... so he came to the conclussion that maybe if one of these people accomplish their objetives, then this shared dream will vanish and he will be free.
The ending is sort of already planned. It will have an open ending.
So the question: is it too strange and difficult to undertand whats happening? Is this "dream" trope bad?

I'm 48. Have had night sweats occasionally for past few years to the point where I bought all bamboo sheets. I've never tracked them until the past 2 months when I noticed they were much more "drenching" and frequent. I've noticed they're generally premenstrual and ease up after my period until after ovulation (my periods are still regular with the exception of these awful pools of sweat I am bathing in at night).
I have a first appointment with a doctor to discuss peri and hrt at the end of month and was wondering if I need a full on patch to wear monthly or more of a gel that would only be necessary during my cycle when the estrogen drops.
Am I overthinking and being an armchair doctor here? :)

Hi there!
I'm looking for writing partners interested in setting up some original guy/established woman in pro wrestling roleplays. It'd be great if you're looking to be silly and have a mix of comedy and romance to go along with the action. I want to work on characters and the general story a bit before starting up anything. I'm looking to do the plot below, though I'm open to others:

• I'm a new talent, the son of a Hall of Famer and one of the youngest guys that WWE (or AEW, or another federation) has signed and is using prominently in the modern era. I'm catching on quick with fans and even you've taken notice. It's no surprise that I'm loving the attention, and I've especially been enjoying yours. It's no bother to me, I've seen you giving me some extra attention when I'm cutting a promo or having a match, and I like it. Truth is, I've been watching you and I've been a fan of yours for years. Wanna know a secret? I even have the tiniest bit of a crush on you, but it'll take a bit of convicing for you to get that out of me. The question is are you going to just keep looking at me or will you make a move? If you're not going to, I just might. Is it a whirlwind romance? Or do we start casually and let things grow slowly? Maybe you're just linking yourself to me because I'm popular, maybe you even fall along the way? The posibilities are endless, and I can't wait to see how it cracks out.

I'm around a lot and looking for partners who want to write a lot. Please don't message me if you're just going to reply with "I'm up for anything" or something like that, I want to play with people who are into it! But as long as you're interested in writing and being creative, I want to plot and set something up!
If you're looking for something with shorter replies and or longer waits between them, still feel free to reach out too! Reach out, because I'm looking to write! You can send me a DM, or Chat. Also open to use discord for partners looking for longer & faster RP. Please let me know if you write in third or first person, while I prefer third, I can do either!

I am from Pakistan and it’s pretty conservative here religion wise for context and I used to walk in my colony every evening and met this guy who lived nearby but for some reason came to colony to walk too and over time meeting on walks just started getting closer and closer to him and started dating.
During this period he had started getting me to do some weird things like getting me to abuse my religion or sneak into mosque with him and make out and I went along with it all because was young and seemingly in love with this guy and wasn’t very religious but also got to be free like that for the first time and all.
Eventually this one time he had me come to this graveyard with him at night (we had broken into supposedly haunted places before for ‘fun’) and he introduced me to some friends of his and said how they wanted to do something like an ouija ritual here they had heard about or something. But the things they were doing it I would have left right then and there if I had any sense but I didn’t. They had a young sacrificed goat there drew symbols with blood and all and had me strip for it and stand in a circle with blood and all while they said some things I couldn’t understand. I was really creeped out but also curious as to what was going on or if it was just some prank on me. After that night he cut off all his communication changed his number shifted to someplace else and I was never able to get in touch with him again and idk what all that was even about

I am 25F. My dad is 65 and mom 60. I only have one sibling and she is 33. I was born in the US and raised in India. My parents were not rich but they raised me and my sister well. Never let us feel that we need to ask for anything. Lived luxuriously. I was always told as a kid that after highschool in India, I have to return to the US, get a degree start working and then I would file for my parents green card since when I was born in the US they only had a work visa and had to return to India. I came to the US when I was 17.5 years old. Got a nursing degree. Successful in my career and working full time as the assistant director of nursing in critical care. I am simultaneously in school full time to get my masters. When I first came in 2016, I lived in a rented room, my parents supported me and used to send Monday for rent. I used to work part time in library and support my food and any other needs like clothes etc. In 2020 when I got my first job, I started sending them money back and so far I am still sending. I did as I was told and I filed for my parents green card and now they are permanent residents. Their plan all along was to move in with me in United States and we would all live together again. During this Journey I met an amazing person who is now my significant other. We plan to get married. My parents dream of living with me is not going to fulfill and I see a huge change in their behavior towards me. I explained to them and apologized and said I know that it was your dream all along and followed every direction that you gave me but I am an adult now. I want to enjoy with my partner and live nuclear like my Parents did. I also said this doesn’t mean I will neglect them but instead of staying in the same house we will have a different arrangement. On the other hand my sister who is 8 years elder got married the same year to a guy who lived in the US and moved here in 2016 as well. I was supposed to go Kansas for an engineering degree instead of nursing but she made a comment regarding who will pick me up from the airport. I was supposed to live in the dorm but because my sister made that comment, I at the age of 17.5 changed plans and went to another state where I received grant and scholarship so my education was basically free for undergraduate. I have visited my sister and she has visited me. We haven’t met in the past two years and she thinks I have no interest in meeting her. We talk on the phone everyday and if I have any vacation days I go to see another country. Last to last year I went to Morocco because my partner lost his father. We went there. Last year I went to France and met my best friend there who was gonna get married in Jan this year. She has some issues which I do not understand. When she was my age she was living her life. I try not to hold any grudge against her when she did not help me in 2016. I explained to her let me enjoy with my partner for now. When I am getting older and married and settled, that’s when people seek out family and meet and stay connected. I told her since I am working so hard let me travel see new places now and she can definitely visit me. I do not have the budget to go see her and then go on a vacation. Now it’s been 2 weeks she is not talking to me and my parents have abruptly come to the US and working in a random motel. I don’t know what to think anymore. Even though I am the youngest in the family I feel the oldest.