Dear Traders,
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(1) Asia Composite Index (ASIA_X)
The Asia Composite Index includes the assets of the Asian region. The index calculation is based on the stock market instruments and currency pairs, such as USD/JPY, USD/SGD, Hang Seng, and Nikkei 225. The asset portfolio provides moderate volatility for daily trading.
(2) Europe Composite Index (EUROPE_X)
The Europe Composite Index indirectly characterizes the economic situation in the EU countries. The index calculation is based on the key ЕС Euro Stoxx stock index, Britain’s benchmark FTSE 100 index, and the EUUSD, USD/CHF, USD/NOK currency pairs.
(3) Commodity Composite Index (CMDTY_X)
The Commodity Composite Index reflects the integrated dynamics of the commodity assets, including natural gas, gold, silver, and Brent crude oil. With economic growth surging, the Commodity Composite Index tends to grow since the demand for raw materials grows as well.
Finally, while other major indices and assets close for the weekend and holidays, Olymp Trade Composite Indices are always available for trading 24/7, anytime, any day.
Traders can continue to make profit in their convenient time without fear.

If I'm typing rubbish, making sense and typing too much, please forgive me, I'm still battling with my inner-self.
I had him for about 12 years 2 months. Recently he had a wound on his arm and I didn't think much of it. Just the usual medical care, bandage and etc. Of course, he hates it and tears it off whenever I was away or didn't see.
The wound didn't get better and we keep returning to the vet.
I got impatient and requested to see the senior Vet. She thinks it's bone cancer however x-ray shows nothing . Send for skin tissue as she knows it's cancer.
From that moment on, even though I don't believe it, I still trolley him around start from the trip back from the vet.
I feed him boiled/steam and sometimes fried meat, vegetables, seafood and vegetables. He loves it.
When the result returned, it was some sort of skin cancer.
From that day on, he start to get weaker. (this seems to be an asian thing, was living healthy happily and once informed about some illness, will leave earth very soon)
Here's the part that I want to ask :
I went out to get chicken rice for him but still he refuse to eat 2nd day in a row. He didn't want to eat anything at all and I ran out of ideas. I went out to buy chicken chop earlier than usual and wanted to feed him but he didn't want to eat and bit my hand. I reacted poorly and slapped him. Immediately knowing what I did was shit, I apologized cuddled and stroke him. I even google and explained to him that he must eat else he might die.
At 525pm, I picked him up hugging him and kissing him, it was time for him to drink water as he couldn't help himself. He drank a lot and then stopped. Usually I would put him down and ask him to rest but a weird hunch told me to hug him and let him drink more water. I let him drink some again and he was peeing on me and I was praising him for doing so. Suddenly he arched his back, took a deep breath and looked at me, his mouth was opened and he didn't close for quite a while. I then realized what happened.
Did I kill him by letting him drink too much water?

⟳ f-droid.org from Sat, 18 May 2024 06:27:18 GMT updated on Tue, 21 May 2024 07:00:45 GMT contains 4410 apps.

Added (4)

• Mindfulness Meditation: Selection of audio guides for mindfulness meditation
• Swiss Bitcoin Pay: 1 minute to accept Bitcoin in your business.
• Frigoligo: Keep your links fresh!
• Lab+ for Gitlab: Your unofficial Companion for Gitlab

Updated (68)

• Conversations (version 2.16.0+free): Encrypted, easy-to-use XMPP instant messenger for your mobile device
• BoB (version 1.3.0): Baby on Board is an application of pregnancy tracking that respect your privacy
• Green: Bitcoin Wallet (version 4.0.28): Blockstream Green Bitcoin wallet
• Notesnook - Private notes app (version 3.0.6): A fully open source & end-to-end encrypted note taking app
• Wulkanowy (version 2.6.8): Client for the Polish school register VULCAN UONET+
• Funktrainer (version 1.4.0.1): This app will ask you the official questions of the German ham radio (amateur ra
• wX (version 55892): Weather app geared towards storm chasers, meteorologists and weather enthusiasts
• HTTP Request Shortcuts (version 3.13.0): Submit HTTP Requests from Shortcuts on your Home Screen
• Mill (version 4.8.0): A Mill Game which supports many rule variants, written in Flutter
• Cams (version 2.3): Simple RTSP viewer for IP cameras
• Unciv (version 4.11.13): Open source 4X civilization-building game
• Blazed Cloud - Encrypted Storage (version 1.5.1): Minimal & Open sourced Cloud Storage
• Extirpater (version 1.6): A free space eraser
• Voyager for Lemmy (version 2.10.0): Join the discussion
• Aria for Misskey (version 0.8.1): Dive into the interplanetary microblogging platform 🚀
• Insular (version 6.4-66cd8034): Isolate your Big Brother apps
• Unstoppable Wallet (version 0.38.4): Bitcoin, Ethereum, DeFi
• GPN 2024 (version 1.64.0-GPN-Edition): GPN Schedule
• Quicksy (version 2.16.0+free): JabbeXMPP with Easy Entry and Easy Discovery
• Shattered Pixel Dungeon (version 2.4.0): A roguelike game based on Pixel Dungeon
• droidVNC-NG (version 2.4.0): VNC server app that does not require root privileges.
• Shiori (version 1.31): Android app client for Shiori
• SimpleX Chat (version 5.7.3): SimpleX Chat - e2e encrypted messenger without any user IDs - private by design!
• Flexify (version 1.0.82): Track gym progress, visualize graphs, enjoy offline support & timers
• Orion Viewer - Pdf & Djvu (version 0.92.4): Orion Viewer is pdf, djvu, xps, cbz and tiff file viewer
• Al-Azan - Prayer Times (version 1.17.9): Privacy focused open-source muslim Adhan (islamic prayer times) and qibla app
• Yubico Authenticator (version 7.0.0): Generate OATH codes with YubiKey NEO over NFC
• Asteroid's Revenge (version 0.10.6): Endless survival bulletHell (highscore based).
• Stroke Input Method (筆畫輸入法) (version 1.2.10): A minimalist Chinese keyboard.
• Nextcloud Dev (version 20240515): Synchronization client
• aFreeRDP (version 3.5.1): FreeRDP is a free remote desktop protocol client
• disky - Find your biggest diskspace thieves! (version 1.1.0): A filesystem analyzer that can show you the usage of your storage!
• FairEmail (version 1.2182): Fully featured email client. Neat, intuitive user interface. Privacy friendly
• Immich (version 1.105.1): This is a client app for the self-hostable Immich Server
• K-9 Mail (version 6.803): Full-featured email client
• neutriNote CE (version 4.5.1d): A hub of written thoughts in fast searchable plain text
• My Leaf (version 2.3.2): Remote control and information for your Nissan Leaf
• RE:INSTEAD (version 0.9): Interactive fiction games
• Table Habit (version 1.12.5): Boost your own habit growth with charts.
• VCMI (version 1.5.1): Engine recreation for Heroes of Might and Magic III
• Ricochlime (version 1.4.2): Satisfying monster shooter
• Podcini - Podcast instrument (version 5.3.0): A feature-rich open-source podcast manager and player
• Mattermost Beta (version 2.16.0): Secure, self-hosted workplace messaging
• Kingdomino Score (version 3.2.2): Calculate your "Kingdomino" and "Kingdomino Age of Giants" score easily
• 37C3 Schedule (version 1.64.0): Conference program app for the Chaos Communication Congress
• Petals (version 3.23.0): Take control of your weed consumption
• Clock (version 2.2): Alarm, clock, timer, stopwatch and bedtime mode
• Quote Unquote (version 4.39.0-fdroid): A Quotes / Quotations / Affirmations App Widget.
• Tuner (version 1.56): Musical instrument pitch tuning
• auth (version 3.0.1): None
• Carrion (version 1.19): Block spoofed calls
• freeDictionaryApp (version 1.6.4): a simple app for Free Dictionary API
• mensen (version 1.1.0): Access the menu of Dresden's canteens.
• Kotatsu (version 7.0.1): Manga reader with online catalogues
• Cuscon (version 4.0.2.8): This icon pack adds variety and dynamism to your Home screen
• timeto.me - Personal Productivity Tools (version 2024.05.15): Pomodoro, checklists, goals, tasks, repetitive, calendar, time-tracker
• Tuta Mail (version 229.240514.1): Encrypted email & calendar service - easy to use, secure by design.
• Les Pas - Photo Album for Nextcloud (version 2.9.10): A photo album that saves all your precious memory in your private cloud
• PeerTube Live (version 1.2): Stream your device camera to your PeerTube channel!
• Saber (version 0.23.1): The notes app built for handwriting
• Mercurygram (version 10.10.1.2): Telegram is a messaging app with a focus on speed and security.
• Helio (version 3.13): Music sequencer, designed to be used on all major platforms
• Swatch .beat clock (version v1.2.7): Internet Time clock and converter
• Bimba (version 3.3.0): FLOSS public transport passenger companion; a timetable in your pocket.
• Kepler-App (version 2.1.4): App only in German! - App for the JKG Chemnitz with all important info
• Suntimes (version 0.15.15): Sunlight and moonlight times (and alarms)
• Copy SMS Code - OTP Helper (version 1.15.2): an open-source app that can detect and copy any code for you
• Tailscale (version 1.66.3-teae73f821-g63a2bbc8e71): Mesh VPN based on WireGuard

^{2024-05-21T07:26:29Z}

A global, 16-year study1 of 2.4 million people has found that Internet use might boost measures of well-being, such as life satisfaction and sense of purpose — challenging the commonly held idea that Internet use has negative effects on people’s welfare.
“It’s an important piece of the puzzle on digital-media use and mental health,” says psychologist Markus Appel at the University of Würzburg in Germany. “If social media and Internet and mobile-phone use is really such a devastating force in our society, we should see it on this bird’s-eye view [study] — but we don’t.” Such concerns are typically related to behaviours linked to social-media use, such as cyberbullying, social-media addiction and body-image issues. But the best studies have so far shown small negative effects, if any2,3, of Internet use on well-being, says Appel.
From separate Gallup polls:
Pryzbylski and his colleagues analysed data on how Internet access was related to eight measures of well-being from the Gallup World Poll, conducted by analytics company Gallup, based in Washington DC. The data were collected annually from 2006 to 2021 from 1,000 people, aged 15 and above, in 168 countries, through phone or in-person interviews. The researchers controlled for factors that might affect Internet use and welfare, including income level, employment status, education level and health problems.
…The team found that, on average, people who had access to the Internet scored 8% higher on measures of life satisfaction, positive experiences and contentment with their social life, compared with people who lacked web access. Online activities can help people to learn new things and make friends, and this could contribute to the beneficial effects, suggests Appel.
Do note that in these latter data sets women ages 15-24 still are worse off from internet access.
Here is the Nature piece, via Clara B. Jones.
The post Is the internet bad for you? appeared first on Marginal REVOLUTION.

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By participating in this discussion, you acknowledge that all feedback is licensed under the Apache 2.0 license. https://opensource.org/license/apache-2-0
A custom Desktop Entry Specification in TOML is an alternative way to define desktop entry files for Linux applications, using the TOML (Tom's Obvious, Minimal Language) format instead of the traditional .desktop file format. Desktop entry files are essential for integrating applications into the Linux desktop environment, providing metadata such as the application name, executable command, icon, and additional actions.
Using TOML for desktop entries offers several advantages over the traditional method:

1. Readability: TOML is designed to be easy to read and write, with a clear and simple syntax. This makes it more accessible for developers and maintainers to create and modify desktop entry files without the need for extensive documentation or prior knowledge of the format.
   
2. Structured Data: TOML inherently supports structured data through its use of sections and key-value pairs. This allows for a more organized and intuitive representation of the desktop entry information, making it easier to understand and manage.
   
3. Consistency: The TOML format enforces consistency in how data is represented, reducing the risk of syntax errors and ensuring that desktop entry files are parsed correctly by the desktop environment.
   
4. Extensibility: TOML's flexible structure allows for the easy addition of new fields and sections as needed. This can be particularly useful for custom desktop environments or applications that require additional metadata beyond what the traditional format supports.
   

Overall, using TOML for desktop entries can improve the development and maintenance experience, making it a better option for those who value clarity, organization, and ease of use in their configuration files.

Example of a Custom Desktop Entry in TOML

```toml [Desktop Entry] Name = "Example Application" GenericName = "Example" Comment = "An example application" Exec = "/usbin/example-app" Icon = "/usshare/icons/hicolo256x256/apps/example-app.png" Terminal = false Type = "Application" Categories = "Utility;Application;" MimeType = "application/example" NoDisplay = false Hidden = false X-GNOME-Autostart-enabled = true
[Actions] Action1 = "NewWindow" Action2 = "Preferences"
[Desktop Action NewWindow] Name = "New Window" Exec = "/usbin/example-app --new-window" OnlyShowIn = "Unity;GNOME;"
[Desktop Action Preferences] Name = "Preferences" Exec = "/usbin/example-app --preferences" OnlyShowIn = "Unity;GNOME;" ```
What do you like about this implementation? Do you have any thoughts or ideas on how to improve it further?

https://www.academia.edu/119725333
​
Movable nu is an optional -n added to several endings in Greek. These include 3sng. endings -e(n), -ti(n), -si(n); 3pl. -ousi(n); dat.pl. -si(n); and some others also of the form -si(n), like pérusi(n) ‘last year’. Other descriptions that -n can only appear before a vowel in the next word, that this is only Att-Ion, etc., are not true, though some cases are more common (Martín González 2011). No cause is known for this, but it is unlikely that several classes of words that merely happened to end in -si would ALL have optional -sin do to sound change, etc. Their distribution suggests analogical spread from 3sng. endings -ti(n), -e(n) after most -ti > -si, allowing other classes of words in -si to become -si(n), but this is also uncertain, and no source for -n is known there either. Most explanations include -n being added later (sometimes only in Att-Ion.) to avoid V#V, but why -n? Why not for other cases of V#V, where no C was added? Knowing whether it began in Att-Ion. and spread before writing began or was even older (in Proto-Greek) could help explain its origin.
​
Another piece of evidence is in the Middle Phrygian inscription which contains blaskon ‘he passed’ and kiuin ‘he departed’. These must be 3sng. verbs, since there is no pl. noun to be a subject in either sentence (see translations in (1) below). It is hardly likely that one of Greek’s closest relatives would have unexpected -n in the 3ng. if it were unrelated to 3sng. -ti(n), -si(n), -e(n) in Greek. Any answer to these questions seems to require something at the level of Proto-Phrygian-Greek (or earlier), but nothing within accepted IE grammar allows it.
​
A third language with 3sng. -n is Tocharian B. There, *-eti > -(ä)n appears, ALSO supposedly a later affix -n. Again, all these are supposedly late additions, and have no known origin, add no meaning. Since 3pl. *-onti > *-ent^ä > -en, at the least one could assume that 3sng. *-eti became *-enti by analogy in TB, with regular sound changes in both. However, 3 separate cases of analogy, of similar yet unrelated types, seems very unlikely for this group. Tocharian shares some odd sound changes with Greek (H-breaking of *uH2 > *waH2, *th > l (in dialects, G. dáptēs ‘eater / bloodsucker (of gnats)’, Cretan thápta, Polyrrhenian látta ‘fly’)), so looking for another shared, yet odd, shared feature might be fruitful.
​
The traditional reconstruction of PIE verb endings has some problems when looked at with an eye towards internal reconstruction. Since 1sng. *-m has pl. *-me, 2sng. *-tH2 has pl. *-tH2e (2), we’d assume 3sng. *-nt existed due to pl. *-ent (possibly from *-nte due to the inability to pronounce *-C-nte at that stage of PIE). If final *-e-nt > *-et in PIE (similar to supposed *-n > *-r), but present *-e-nt-i > *-enti, it would explain much of this data, with *-et vs. -enti creating analogical variants *-e(n)t and *-e(n)ti (it is impossible to be sure which parts happened in PIE vs. PG, PPh., PT). Similarly, nt-stem nouns would only have the voc. affected, so simple analogy might restore -nt there as well. If many of these variants were rare (avoided in most to avoid confusion between sng. and pl., especially in those in which sound changes would merge *-enti and *-onti), only a few IE languages might retain them. If so, past 3sng. *-et / *-ent in Greek would become -e / -en, as attested, with analogy changing -ti to -ti / -tin, then further analogy as above. For Phrygian, *-ent > -in would be regular, with -on likely analogy from 3pl. *-ont.
​
If PIE *-t were original, there would be no reason to import *-nt from the pl. Keeping the sng. and pl. distinct, especially in the 3rd, should be the main job of any analogy. Also supporting *nt in the 3sng. and pl. is the parallel *m and *tH2 in both for other persons. 3 separate analogies that added -n(-) to make the 3sng. and 3pl. more similar (or identical in the case of Ph. -on) do not seem needed or likely.
​
​
Notes
​
(1)
​
The only Middle Phrygian inscription :
​
MPhr-01 (W-11)
manka mekas sas kiuin en ke bilatede-
nan nekoinoun : pokraiou kē gloureos gamenoun
sa soroi mati makran : blaskon ke takris ke loun-
iou mrotis lapta mati a oinoun : nikostratos
kleumakhoi miros aidomenou matin kisuis : mo-
kros uitan partias plade por koroos ..-
ros pantēs : penniti ios koroan detoun
soun omasta omnisitous
​
​
I segment them as 6 sentences divided by : with each sentence 17 syllables long. For convenience this would be:
​

1. manka mekas sas kiuin en ke bilatedenan nekoinoun

​

1. pokraiou kē gloureos gamenoun sa soroi mati makran

​

1. blaskon ke takris ke louniou mrotis lapta mati a oinoun

​

1. nikostratos kleumakhoi miros aidomenou matin kisuis

​

1. mokros uitan partias plade por koroos ..-ros pantēs

​

1. penniti ios koroan detoun soun omasta omnisitous

​
​
Here, the first sentence (with each sentence 17 syllables long) would be:
​
A great man has departed from here and into the beloved-land/paradise of the dead.
​
A great man (manka mekas) has departed (kiuin) from here (sas) and (ke) into (en) the beloved-land/paradise (bilatedenan) of the dead (nekoinoun).
​
kiuin = [kiwin] ‘(has?) departed’ < *kyewe(n)t
*kyew- > Skt. cyav- \ cyu-, OP ašiyava ‘set out’, Arm. č’u ‘departure / journey’, G. -(s)seúomai ‘rush / hurry’
​
The -n must be 3sng. Not only is there no other pl. subject available if -n came from *-nt, but also no other word that might otherwise be the verb. This 3sng. -n is also seen in 41.3 (that has far too many words ending in -n, 2 of which must be verbs, and no pl. nouns, to make sense without 3sng -t / -n ). For others, see (Whalen 2024a).
​
​
The third:
​
blaskon ke takris ke louniou mrotis lapta mati a oinoun
​
He passed (blaskon) from us (a oinoun) into (mati) the grave (lapta) of death (mrotis) swiftly (takris) and (ke… ke) peacefully (louniou)
​
ke < *kWe ‘and’
​
*logh-onyo- ‘lying down / resting / peaceful’
​
*mloH3-sk^e- > G. blṓskō ‘move/come/go/pass’, TA mlusk- ‘escape’, TB mlutk-, Arm. *purc(H)- > prcanim \ p`rcanim \ p`rt`anim ‘escape / evade’; Slovene molíti ‘pass / hand over’
​
*tHko- ? > Skt. su-túka- ‘running swiftly’, ava-tká-
*tHku- ? > *thakhu- > G. takhús ‘quick/, tákha \ takhú ‘soon/immediately < *quickly’
​
Ph. mrotis : L. morti- ‘death’
gen. *mrteis > mrotis (and/or *-ois > *-eis; compare *oi > *ei > ē in Arm., perhaps optional)
​
Lubotsky said some *l > ol, etc., maybe also *n > on (compare G. *sm- > he- / ho- / ha-)?
*nsmeo:m > *onhmyo:n > *onyu:n > oinoun
or?
*nsmeo:m > *anhmyo:n > *ãnyu:n > oinoun
if nasalized *a (or schwa?) > *õ first?
​
tháptō ‘bury’, *th > l as in some Greek dialects
​
​
(2)
​
Both 2sng. *s and *tH2 might have the same origin. Optional change of *t > *th / *s by *H2 (if pronounced x or similar) would simply be assimilation of fricatives, and might also explain:
​
*kwa(H2)t(h)o- > Skt. kvath- ‘boil’, Go. hvaþō ‘foam’
*kwa(H2)so- > OBg kvasŭ ‘leaven / fermented drink’
*kwa(H2)s(e/i)yo- > L. cāseus ‘cheese’, *kwasja-z > ON Kvasir ‘a wise Van formed from the spit of gods, killed by dwarves who mixed his blood with honey to ferment into Mead of Poetry’
​
which resembles *dhH2:
​
*bhndhH2no- >> G. phátnē / páthnē ‘manger / crib’
*bondhH2o- > *bantsa- > OE bósig ‘crib’, NLG banse ‘silo / barn’, *bansta- > Go. bansts ‘barn’
​
maybe something similar also in:
​
*windho-s > MIr find ‘a hair’, *winlo- > L. villus ‘shaggy hair / tuft of hair’, *winthos > *óinthos > íonthos ‘young hair’
*windhaH2 > *wandhH2i-? > OPr wanso ‘first beard’, MIr. fés ‘hair’, fésóc ‘beard’
​
​
Martín González, Elena (2011) Movable nu in Archaic Greek Epigraphic Prose
https://www.academia.edu/5983395
​
Whalen, Sean (2024a) Phrygian mankan / mankēn ‘man’ (Draft)
https://www.academia.edu/118405366
​
Whalen, Sean (2024b) Phrygian *-g- > -k- / -0-
https://www.reddit.com/HistoricalLinguistics/comments/1cj1fmj/phrygian_g_k_0/
​

Hi Destiny and fans,
I want to make a post regarding one of the last debates Destiny had with Sebastian Gorka and Konstantin Kisin.
Konstantin Kisin is a russian born russian in moscow, moved at the age of 11 to the UK (claiming to be Ukranian?), and Sebastian Gorka was born in the UK, claiming to Hungarian. Both of these people grew up in a country without politically knowing whats going on in their own country of origin. For the record, when it comes to european identities, you can be way rougher, because critizing people on their nationality or testing them on being ''x'' nationality is pretty normal for europeans. Sometimes this is taken by americans, as rascism, but the utility is that we all have our own distinct culture, which we are proud off and we banter about it.
As a dutch person in the Netherlands, both of those guys sounded english as fuck, looked like it, and where claiming heritage because their parents where born there.
Futhermore I want to give you advice on when people used to live in a european country. If they have lived 15 years ago in that country and/or aren't fluent in the language, and they claim they know the country on a political lvl because they lived there, they are probly full of shit.
Thats all, hope its good feedback.

Hi. I'm fab but identify as agender. I'm a/graysexual and demiromatic. Gender isn't that important but I do prefer someone with an androgynous aesthetic, would prefer sharing photos early on. I'd also prefer someone locally but open to ldr, around 28 to 40 in age.
A bit about me: very into geek culture i.e. gaming, anime, webtoons, tech, etc. But also equally as obssesed with kpop, kdramas and other asian language shows/movies. Also a bit of a foodie... More eating than cooking though😅
DM if you are interested to talk more

So we're in a bit of a pickle here. My partner recently left her PhD program due to mental health among other reasons. We're both sober and academia was having a negative impact on her sobriety, as her research group was insistent on her drinking at each social event, even when she declined. She also felt very left out, and her supervisor clearly was unfair to her and treated her with open disrespect. Some examples (according to her):

• He would laugh at her during her seminars, bomb her with questions that she was unable to answer and criticize her to the point where every time she came home from holding a seminar, she would be in tears.
  
• Leave her out of group discussions and shut the door in front of her.
  
• Change the language to the local language from English when my partner tried to join a conversation (she does not speak the local language). The group was also ridiculing her as she was lacking knowledge of this language, knowing full well she's a foreigner.
  
• Leave her name out of papers she contributed to.
  
• Randomly pulled her aside last year to tell her that she's not going to graduate with no warning signs. She published 3 papers during her PhD, which is a lot for her very theoretical field, but this was not enough in the eyes of her advisor.
  
• Saw that she was struggling a lot, but never offered help even when she asked. Just told her to "deal with it like an adult".
  
• Humiliated her multiple times in front of other people, calling her all sorts of names ("stupid", "idiot" etc)
  

Perhaps it's fair to say that me and my partner also went through a lot together, and I put her through some tough times as well. Earlier this year she figured that enough is enough and left. She got a part time job as an English and math teacher, and began working on her own educational company. I am very proud of her. She is self-employed, and although it's not as prestigious of a career choice in her eyes, she is much happier with her life.
A lot of her clients are educational publishers, educational technology, and more. Recently though, a few of these clients have pulled back without saying anything and essentially ghosting her. I should mention that she is very open about her work on social media and actively uses platforms like LinkedIn.
We did not think anything about this. I work on a freelance basis as well, and sometimes clients just ghost. It was not until recently that one client asked her during a meeting if she had ever worked with her supervisor X. Apparently, her client was contacted by someone in the old research group of X (presumably X himself, we do not know for sure), telling them that she is a neglectful employee who has lied about her qualifications (she has not, she openly talks about being an academia dropout, and only lists her master's degree in her CV as far as I know), and should not be given any projects or money.
This person also brought up her alcohol problem to the client, even though my girlfriend told her supervisor about it in complete confidence, after which he still encouraged her to drink.
Worst of all, the client apparently said that this person that contacted them has let them know that my girlfriend is actively neglecting her taxes, and is encouraging a potential investigation.
Moreover, someone she is on decent terms with in her old research group recently also reached out to her. They let her know that her old supervisor is STILL shitting on her for dropping out and making fun of her new career. He also ridicules her for her new career, making claims how it is never going to work out, etc.
She also has a few researchers she worked with in the past reaching out to her, asking if everything is okay as her supervisor is making very bold claims, and it's making people generally a bit uncomfortable.
So my question is -- what do we do about this? Do we just call it quits and leave the country? We have no idea. Any advice is welcomed. Please help.

A few years ago, I basically reached the peak of my profession. There aren't any more promotions to shoot for or major raises in my future. I like my job and have no plans to quit. But, it doesn't really challenge me any more or force me to grow. So, I'm looking for other activities that can fill the void.
Some things I have tried:

• Move abroad for a few months to experience and different culture and speak a different language.
• Try to develop a personal life. I'm single and -- honestly -- don't really like the dating game. But, I am starting to think it would be nice to share a home with someone.
• New fitness challenges. I've always lifted weights. But, recently, I've been working on sprints and gymnastic movements.
• Cooking classes. I've always liked cooking. But, I don't know much about how to cook Asian or Latin American cuisines.

What kind of things do you guys do to grow (outside of work and raising kids)?

Below is a list of Korean grammar (Beginner and Intermediate) and links to related videos.
The list below is a list of all videos explained in English.

We plan to continue uploading videos in the future.
Please refer to the video link of the basic Korean grammar uploaded so far ^^
I hope that the hard work material will be shared so that it can be helpful to many Korean learners.
Click on the channel address to view more resources, including practice for word and word order arrangement.
​
You can enjoy the Korean language on this channel

www.youtube.com/@o2100korean

​
1 How to read Korean1 (Korean alphabet - basic consonant, single vowel) https://youtu.be/uWBT0GYDB3g
2 Korean Alphabet 1 - single vowels, basic consonants https://youtu.be/AbPFKZRa1y8
3 Korean Alphabet 2 - double vowel 1, aspirated consonants https://youtu.be/9o9f6j50RAY
4 Korean Alphabet 3 - double vowel 2, double consonant https://youtu.be/rjeYdVI0HS8
5 Korean Alphabet 4 - Final Consonants https://youtu.be/XALwMLJ9YDY
6 Korean Grammar 1 - 이에요/예요 은/는 https://youtu.be/7KbNiRTyRUk
7 Korean Grammar 2 - 이/가, 은/는 vs 이/가 differences https://youtu.be/n7rMNbqHcqc
8 Korean Grammar 3 - 이/가 아니다 https://youtu.be/DrGZNivR7p4
9 Korean Grammar 4 - ㅂ/습니다, ㅂ/습니까? https://youtu.be/_tEEC7Ah_d8
10 Korean Grammar 5 - 입니다/입니까? https://youtu.be/mybPJ9XF7zw
11 Korean Grammar 6 - 을/를 object maker https://youtu.be/8QCP4oAw5Qc
12 Korean Grammar 7 - 도 also, too https://youtu.be/CRc-Y86FZfU
13 Korean Grammar 8 - 와/과, 하고 (N and N), (with someone) https://youtu.be/npQIul_ibU0
14 Korean Grammar 9 - 의 possession https://youtu.be/HH0VZR9JFzY
15 Korean Grammar 10 - -아요/어요/해요 https://youtu.be/sssUFEeHje0
16 Korean Grammar 11 - ㅂ irregular https://youtu.be/Dd-VcEQcEbA
17 Korean Grammar 12 - 안 / -지 않다 (not) https://youtu.be/jPVEq4uH5Cw
18 Korean Grammar 13 - 에게 / 한테 to (someone) https://youtu.be/ZrJBbkV26io
19 Korean Grammar 14 - 만 only https://youtu.be/0oP2ug8F420
20 Korean Grammar 15 - place N에 https://youtu.be/6MYyEEfmZ_M
21 Korean Grammar 16 - place N에서 + do something https://youtu.be/L0liQTZzy7c
22 Korean Grammar 17 - Numbers(based on Chinese character) https://youtu.be/Lz2p0oovuu8
23 Korean Grammar 18 - 았/었 past tense https://youtu.be/gpw_WD-E7qo
24 Korean Grammar 19 - (time noun)에 https://youtu.be/WZBvFvPgLXU
25 Korean Grammar 20 - ~부터 ~까지(from~ until~)(time noun) https://youtu.be/HMWXxwbhZLs
26 Korean Grammar 21 - 못 / -지 못하다 can not https://youtu.be/Ryrhpt1g4xI
27 Korean Grammar 22 - ㄷ irregular https://youtu.be/BFv7USR8ejo
28 Korean Grammar 23 - 고1(List up - and), (이)고 https://youtu.be/jdKQChT3qbg
29 Korean Grammar 24 - -(으)ㄹ까요? -(으)ㅂ시다 https://youtu.be/SRZ4ECOGhDI
30 Korean Grammar 25 - -아서/어서/해서 reason https://youtu.be/Idz8SpewFys
31 Korean Grammar 26 - 고 싶다(I want)/ -고 싶어하다(someone wants) https://youtu.be/MrgmJFvzCO0
32 Korean Grammar 27 - 지만(but, however) https://youtu.be/Y-19JLg-kLc
33 Korean Grammar 28 - 고2(after that) https://youtu.be/Ef4kv-eZOG4
34 Korean Grammar 29 - 고1vs고2 differences https://youtu.be/TLsKhs5EkAk
35 Korean Grammar 30 - 는 중이다 be+ing / middle of something https://youtu.be/pX73BFLsFqI
36 Korean Grammar 31 - 르 irregular https://youtu.be/uKuu8v9SCHo
37 Korean Grammar 32 - 보다(more than) https://youtu.be/vdjHjPPis88
38 Korean Grammar 33 - -고 있다 (be + ing) https://youtu.be/uFXhEGg_hsQ
39 Korean Grammar 34 - -(으)ㄹ 수 있다/없다 can / can not https://youtu.be/AzfUlqpH-rI
40 Korean Grammar 35 - 기 전에 with small tip! https://youtu.be/iRGIk3ce1Ms
41 Korean Grammar 36 - ㄹ irregular https://youtu.be/te3MVhsMJzQ
42 Korean Grammar 37(1) - -(으)ㄹ 거예요 / -(으)ㄹ 겁니다 guessing https://youtu.be/EKJQmjgMigI
43 Korean Grammar 37(2) - -(으)ㄹ 거예요 / -(으)ㄹ 겁니다 future tense https://youtu.be/tRS8hxUBf-Q
44 Korean Grammar 38 - (으)려고 https://youtu.be/lxAOR5iqElo
45 Korean Grammar 39 - 높임말 (honorific form) https://youtu.be/CpN23thH60Q
46 Korean Grammar 40 - -(으)세요 / -(으)십시오 order form https://youtu.be/s7MSFT4TiQg
47 Korean Grammar 41 - -(으)ㄴ 후에 after https://youtu.be/r-XRWZvjgWk
48 Korean Grammar 42 - -지 말다 https://youtu.be/wJq-ggwSMNw
49 Korean Grammar 43 - ~에서 ~까지(place noun) https://youtu.be/IeWjV-ejmZc
50 Korean Grammar 44 - -아야/어야 되다/하다(should / need to) https://youtu.be/0ffbafedJvM
51 Korean Grammar 45 - -(으)니까 because + -(으)니까vs 아서/어서 differences (reason meaning) https://youtu.be/Ac5ayHGr_d8
52 Korean Grammar 46 - (으)로 https://youtu.be/qOaoMyMma38
53 Korean Grammar 47 - (으)러 가다/오다/다니다 https://youtu.be/f041ty_86Sc
54 Korean Grammar - (으)면 if https://youtu.be/mufWaZ1qyGM
55 Korean Grammar - V/A지요? N(이)지요? rechecking https://youtu.be/C_gvzrrAP3Y
56 Korean Grammar - 고3(exceptional usage) https://youtu.be/oS2ERojTqo4
57 Korean Grammar - 아서/어서2 sequential https://youtu.be/PfIR_7xnpsk
58 Korean Grammar - 아서/어서 vs 고 difference(sequential meaning) https://youtu.be/pQssx_qFV7c
59 Korean Grammar 48 - -겠 guessing & future https://youtu.be/VxKflj5DWpA
60 Korean Grammar 49 - 네요 https://youtu.be/w1wd9s1Nkeo
61 Korean Grammar 50 - -아/어 보다 (try) https://youtu.be/CTul9S9xCoc
62 Korean Grammar 51 - 에게서/한테서 from Someone https://youtu.be/-Fog4PP_oi4
63 Korean Grammar 52 - A(으)ㄴ +N https://youtu.be/hesNReTx_ME
64 Korean Grammar 53 - V는 + N (present) https://youtu.be/Xvb2P2BZCxo
65 Korean Grammar 54 - V(으)ㄴ + N (past) https://youtu.be/RIcYq4jYISI
66 Korean Grammar 55 - V(으)ㄹ + N (future) & summary https://youtu.be/Dw4sy3ocH3M
67 Korean Grammar 56 - A(으)ㄴ데 / V는데 (background explanation) https://youtu.be/JvhHwnr8SfU
68 Korean Grammar 57 - 는 것 (V→N) https://youtu.be/JCo1Szax5M4
69 Korean Grammar 58 - (으)ㄹ 때 When (Someone do Something..) https://youtu.be/LO7TMXbkeuw
70 Korean Grammar 59 - (으)ㄹ게요 strong willingness / promise https://youtu.be/gNhJiRKcI-4
71 Korean Grammar 60 - 기로 하다/했다 I promise to… https://youtu.be/CPplszLn2vc
72 Korean Grammar 61 - (으)ㄴ 적이 있다/없다 I have an experience to… https://youtu.be/tx8bhdYHnxw
73 Korean Grammar 62 - 아/어 본 적이 있다/없다 (I have an experience to (try to)..) https://youtu.be/P7x2b75_6vE
74 Korean Grammar 63 - V/A게 (2 way to use) https://youtu.be/TW2TfLgv8P0
75 Korean Grammar 65 - (으)ㄹ래요? (으)ㄹ래요 https://youtu.be/yvyiRtRYQvE
76 Korean Grammar 66 - 밖에 nothing but, only / difference with 만 https://youtu.be/8TYRjbbTq6E
77 Korean Grammar 67 - (이)나 more than you expect https://youtu.be/m7NdHrJBCd8
78 Korean Grammar - 마다 every, each https://youtu.be/wwZL6cbxTPQ
79 Korean Grammar - 아/어 주다 asking for help / volunteer to help https://youtu.be/XrKLWtF2wz0
80 Korean Grammar - (으)ㄹ 수밖에 없다 to have no other option but to do something https://youtu.be/weYOLBMv8Ko
81 Korean Grammar - Numbers(based on Korean) https://youtu.be/MfEDe1se5Nw
82 Korean Grammar - 다가(action change) https://youtu.be/9VDBpPwGOuc
83 Korean Grammar - 기 때문에 reason, cause https://youtu.be/Iu0qNG6mGKA
84 Korean Grammar - 때문에 vs 이기 때문에 difference https://youtu.be/7HWM3vkVqVk
85 Korean Grammar - ㅎ irregular https://youtu.be/GCubnpvBAEc
86 Korean Grammar - 는 동안에 during / while https://youtu.be/IvRfhNO2vCk
87 Korean Grammar - (으)면서 to do two actions in a same time https://youtu.be/8lp2XBtwHG0
88 Korean Grammar - (으)ㄴ/는 데다가 something added https://youtu.be/dGTuxj1Dtnw
89 Korean Grammar - 처럼 like (something) https://youtu.be/h6csR_AomcM
90 Korean Grammar - 아/어도 되다 asking a permission / allow to do that https://youtu.be/XvLjAtkLfPc
91 Korean Grammar - (으)면 안되다 answering NOT allow to do that https://youtu.be/3ypnkg49y2Q
92 Korean Grammar - 게 되다 become changed https://youtu.be/futcFa-wT1M
93 Korean Grammar - 아/어지다 become changed https://youtu.be/EDV7PfgwO7g
94 Korean Grammar - (으)ㄴ 지 It's been ~ since ~ https://youtu.be/be6tL7SdXy8
95 Korean Grammar - V/A거나 / N(이)나 choose one https://youtu.be/P87yhwefgHw
96 Korean Grammar - A(으)ㄴ/(으)ㄹ 것 같다 V(으)ㄴ/는/(으)ㄹ 것 같다 (guessing) https://youtu.be/Ox0cPNK6tMY
97 Korean Grammar - (으)려면 If you want to do something https://youtu.be/fnM9cBoJBPc
98 Korean Grammar - 아도/어도 even though, although https://youtu.be/hn0ESmKoZs0
99 Korean Grammar - 잖아요 you know.. https://youtu.be/2asLO3W38mM
100 Korean Grammar - 아야/어야 essential condition to do something https://youtu.be/_tBR-GrfbFc
101 Korean Grammar - (으)나 however (formal way) https://youtu.be/yy-1ZXrWje8
102 Korean Grammar - 뿐 only https://youtu.be/g3OajdGjkRQ
103 Korean Grammar - (으)ㄹ뿐만 아니라 Not only But also https://youtu.be/xdXNVnAGHDs
104 Korean Grammar - 았/었으면 좋겠다 I hope - / I wish https://youtu.be/zMONNyYa1xM
105 Korean Grammar - 나 보다 (으)ㄴ가 보다 I guess https://youtu.be/-ZGQT9Nsfis
106 Korean Grammar - (으)ㄴ/는 걸 보니까 As I see... https://youtu.be/J5kBIULynEc
107 Korean Grammar - 더라/더군(요) Talking about something I've seen or listen then knew https://youtu.be/xL9lQtFelAM
108 Korean Grammar 았으면 좋겠다/었으면 좋겠다 I hope~ https://youtu.be/EJAFvpalhGA
109 Korean Grammar -느라고 Because I do something https://youtu.be/pieoAwR6REk
110 Korean Grammar - (으)ㄴ/는 대신에 in stead of, in return https://youtu.be/dBARMi887I4
111 Korean Grammar - 자마자 as soon as https://youtu.be/WnbF5_MKhBw
112 Korean Grammar - 는 대로 as soon as / comparison with 자마자 https://youtu.be/Qv4vx2RzkxQ
113 Korean Grammar - 아/어야겠 strong willingness https://youtu.be/HxhdVuDwdfI
114 Korean Grammar - (으)ㄹ 텐데 might https://youtu.be/lYpyWFdVE_o
115 Korean Grammar - 요 (don't need to repeat, emphasize) https://youtu.be/tQAcKKdVsn0
116 Korean Grammar - 은/는 탓에 comparison with 덕분에 https://youtu.be/9Qzp_9i9uBk
117 Korean Grammar - 았었/었었 had p.p https://youtu.be/ZrmMdoiqBjI
118 Korean Grammar - 아/어 보이다 It seems like https://youtu.be/8hxADyc6QVg
119 Korean Grammar - 거든(요) explain , change the subject https://youtu.be/4If3gHLRnIo
120 Korean Grammar - 같다 (like something) comparison with 처럼 https://youtu.be/_vHv_6qxSQU
121 Korean Grammar - (으)ㄴ/는 편이다 tend to https://youtu.be/dprJBcf3lJ4

I am a 31 year old man, I have a good job I make 90k a year at a civil engineering firm, I got the job without a college degree. I'm on a roadmap for upper management there, I do very well at my job. That's all I really have going for me. I don't manage my money well so even as a single guy renting a small place with the 90k in a small college town I am broke all the time. I weigh 285lbs at 6'2" and am already having health problems from my weight and have to take blood pressure medication. I've never had a long term relationship (I have had short ones, not a total beginner). I smoke. I drink on the weekends with friends. I don't get good sleep. I sometimes see the worst in people, I can be very judgmental. When I get angry I say things to people I shouldn't, including people I really care about. The only place I feel competent is at work frankly. I've basically skated by through life with very little effort by just relying on my natural talents which are really only relevant at my job. I'm a programmer and a project manager who leads large conference calls, I'm good at solving little logic problems like the ones that exist in programming and I'm good in meetings I express myself well and can argue with clients or other firms effectively and respectfully and don't really get nervous about talking. My personal life is a mess and sometimes I'd rather just be at work all the time where I am rewarded for being kind of a hard-ass and writing code to solve some problems. Unlike in my personal life I am praised and rewarded at work even though I am just relying on my natural talents there. I wish I had the tenacity and endurance and discipline I see others have in their life. Life is more than just being good at your job, especially when you didn't even work hard to be good at it. I wish I could be kinder, have more compassion for others, take care of my physical health, find a long term romantic relationship, get my finances in order, stuff like that. I want to have kids, I want a wife, I want to afford vacations and a home. I want to know what it's like to be physically fit for once. I want to have more sex and be good at it. I want to learn another language. I want to read more books. I want to live my fucking life, like really live ya know? And I'm not. I'm not asking to be rich and famous, I'm not asking to become a genius. I'm not asking to be remembered when I'm gone. I just want a fulfilling life like everyone else on this rock.
Over the years, ever since I was probably 18 years old till now, I have tried every trick in the book. The X Effect, Atomic Habits, Goleman's "Emotional intelligence", Marc Manson, Cal Newport, Wayne Dyer, habit trackers like TickTick, alarms on my phone, visual reminders all over my house to eat well, take care of myself, blah blah blah. Personal trainers, therapy, drugs like wellbutrin and vyvanse, meditation, journaling, and much more. If there's some self-help thing out there for getting disciplined I've tried it. I have never really once showed up for myself in life. The only times I've worked especially hard is if I'm on a team, if others are relying on my output. I won't put out shitty work, I really won't, and I will stay late or work at home into the wee hours if there are others relying on my output. One of my big goals is I should go finish my college degree so I can make more money but the discipline required to do that while working I know I simply do not have.
I'm kind of looking for anything, any stories any hope from anyone. I am already 31 I feel like if I was going to get it together I would have by now. My performance at work will only get me so far in life, I can't totally rely on it and let it be my only source of pride and happiness. I will end up at 55 single and alone and yea they might pay me super well by then and I'll be some bigshot at the office but I'll be the guy staying late every night because I never made a family, never made my own life outside of work - and I'll be dying early because I never lost the weight, never stopped smoking, never stopped drinking. I can see all this happening now. I want to change but everytime I try to change, a few days in I break. I give myself excuses, or re-frame the problem in such a way that I can have the cheeseburger or go buy a pack of smokes or be late on my car payment or not download the dating apps or not go for a walk or to the gym. I can always think my way around it and justify not doing it in my head. I say shit like: "Tomorrow will be a better day to start the diet because you didn't sleep well your willpower is low today" or "You have like 4 meetings today there is no way you should hit the gym before work you will be too tired towards the end of the day when you really need your brain" or "have some compassion for yourself we approached this all wrong go ahead and buy a pack of cigarettes and we will come up with a more reasonable plan than going cold turkey we will make a plan to stop smoking over time we'll do it tomorrow night" - I can always tell myself some bullshit story or some bullshit lie or I can be having an emotional moment that just overrides everything and I just do whatever the fuck I want to do regardless of my true wants, needs, goals, responsibilities. I'm 31 years old like I said a bunch of times, it's not funny anymore it's getting sad and scary and I am starting to have little hope for the future. I think dark thoughts, sometimes.
Any help or stories are greatly appreciated, thanks for reading.

I am a 31 year old man, I have a good job I make 90k a year at a civil engineering firm, I got the job without a college degree. I'm on a roadmap for upper management there, I do very well at my job. That's all I really have going for me. I don't manage my money well so even as a single guy renting a small place with the 90k in a small college town I am broke all the time. I weigh 285lbs at 6'2" and am already having health problems from my weight and have to take blood pressure medication. I've never had a long term relationship (I have had short ones, not a total beginner). I smoke. I drink on the weekends with friends. I don't get good sleep. I sometimes see the worst in people, I can be very judgmental. When I get angry I say things to people I shouldn't, including people I really care about. The only place I feel competent is at work frankly. I've basically skated by through life with very little effort by just relying on my natural talents which are really only relevant at my job. I'm a programmer and a project manager who leads large conference calls, I'm good at solving little logic problems like the ones that exist in programming and I'm good in meetings I express myself well and can argue with clients or other firms effectively and respectfully and don't really get nervous about talking. My personal life is a mess and sometimes I'd rather just be at work all the time where I am rewarded for being kind of a hard-ass and writing code to solve some problems. Unlike in my personal life I am praised and rewarded at work even though I am just relying on my natural talents there. I wish I had the tenacity and endurance and discipline I see others have in their life. Life is more than just being good at your job, especially when you didn't even work hard to be good at it. I wish I could be kinder, have more compassion for others, take care of my physical health, find a long term romantic relationship, get my finances in order, stuff like that. I want to have kids, I want a wife, I want to afford vacations and a home. I want to know what it's like to be physically fit for once. I want to have more sex and be good at it. I want to learn another language. I want to read more books. I want to live my fucking life, like really live ya know? And I'm not. I'm not asking to be rich and famous, I'm not asking to become a genius. I'm not asking to be remembered when I'm gone. I just want a fulfilling life like everyone else on this rock.
Over the years, ever since I was probably 18 years old till now, I have tried every trick in the book. The X Effect, Atomic Habits, Goleman's "Emotional intelligence", Marc Manson, Cal Newport, Wayne Dyer, habit trackers like TickTick, alarms on my phone, visual reminders all over my house to eat well, take care of myself, blah blah blah. Personal trainers, therapy, drugs like wellbutrin and vyvanse, meditation, journaling, and much more. If there's some self-help thing out there for getting disciplined I've tried it. I have never really once showed up for myself in life. The only times I've worked especially hard is if I'm on a team, if others are relying on my output. I won't put out shitty work, I really won't, and I will stay late or work at home into the wee hours if there are others relying on my output. One of my big goals is I should go finish my college degree so I can make more money but the discipline required to do that while working I know I simply do not have.
I'm kind of looking for anything, any stories any hope from anyone. I am already 31 I feel like if I was going to get it together I would have by now. My performance at work will only get me so far in life, I can't totally rely on it and let it be my only source of pride and happiness. I will end up at 55 single and alone and yea they might pay me super well by then and I'll be some bigshot at the office but I'll be the guy staying late every night because I never made a family, never made my own life outside of work - and I'll be dying early because I never lost the weight, never stopped smoking, never stopped drinking. I can see all this happening now. I want to change but everytime I try to change, a few days in I break. I give myself excuses, or re-frame the problem in such a way that I can have the cheeseburger or go buy a pack of smokes or be late on my car payment or not download the dating apps or not go for a walk or to the gym. I can always think my way around it and justify not doing it in my head. I say shit like: "Tomorrow will be a better day to start the diet because you didn't sleep well your willpower is low today" or "You have like 4 meetings today there is no way you should hit the gym before work you will be too tired towards the end of the day when you really need your brain" or "have some compassion for yourself we approached this all wrong go ahead and buy a pack of cigarettes and we will come up with a more reasonable plan than going cold turkey we will make a plan to stop smoking over time we'll do it tomorrow night" - I can always tell myself some bullshit story or some bullshit lie or I can be having an emotional moment that just overrides everything and I just do whatever the fuck I want to do regardless of my true wants, needs, goals, responsibilities. I'm 31 years old like I said a bunch of times, it's not funny anymore it's getting sad and scary and I am starting to have little hope for the future. I think dark thoughts, sometimes.
Any help or stories are greatly appreciated, thanks for reading.

I am a 31 year old man, I have a good job I make 90k a year at a civil engineering firm, I got the job without a college degree. I'm on a roadmap for upper management there, I do very well at my job. That's all I really have going for me. I don't manage my money well so even as a single guy renting a small place with the 90k in a small college town I am broke all the time. I weigh 285lbs at 6'2" and am already having health problems from my weight and have to take blood pressure medication. I've never had a long term relationship (I have had short ones, not a total beginner). I smoke. I drink on the weekends with friends. I don't get good sleep. I sometimes see the worst in people, I can be very judgmental. When I get angry I say things to people I shouldn't, including people I really care about. The only place I feel competent is at work frankly. I've basically skated by through life with very little effort by just relying on my natural talents which are really only relevant at my job. I'm a programmer and a project manager who leads large conference calls, I'm good at solving little logic problems like the ones that exist in programming and I'm good in meetings I express myself well and can argue with clients or other firms effectively and respectfully and don't really get nervous about talking. My personal life is a mess and sometimes I'd rather just be at work all the time where I am rewarded for being kind of a hard-ass and writing code to solve some problems. Unlike in my personal life I am praised and rewarded at work even though I am just relying on my natural talents there. I wish I had the tenacity and endurance and discipline I see others have in their life. Life is more than just being good at your job, especially when you didn't even work hard to be good at it. I wish I could be kinder, have more compassion for others, take care of my physical health, find a long term romantic relationship, get my finances in order, stuff like that. I want to have kids, I want a wife, I want to afford vacations and a home. I want to know what it's like to be physically fit for once. I want to have more sex and be good at it. I want to learn another language. I want to read more books. I want to live my fucking life, like really live ya know? And I'm not. I'm not asking to be rich and famous, I'm not asking to become a genius. I'm not asking to be remembered when I'm gone. I just want a fulfilling life like everyone else on this rock.
Over the years, ever since I was probably 18 years old till now, I have tried every trick in the book. The X Effect, Atomic Habits, Goleman's "Emotional intelligence", Marc Manson, Cal Newport, Wayne Dyer, habit trackers like TickTick, alarms on my phone, visual reminders all over my house to eat well, take care of myself, blah blah blah. Personal trainers, therapy, drugs like wellbutrin and vyvanse, meditation, journaling, and much more. If there's some self-help thing out there for getting disciplined I've tried it. I have never really once showed up for myself in life. The only times I've worked especially hard is if I'm on a team, if others are relying on my output. I won't put out shitty work, I really won't, and I will stay late or work at home into the wee hours if there are others relying on my output. One of my big goals is I should go finish my college degree so I can make more money but the discipline required to do that while working I know I simply do not have.
I'm kind of looking for anything, any stories any hope from anyone. I am already 31 I feel like if I was going to get it together I would have by now. My performance at work will only get me so far in life, I can't totally rely on it and let it be my only source of pride and happiness. I will end up at 55 single and alone and yea they might pay me super well by then and I'll be some bigshot at the office but I'll be the guy staying late every night because I never made a family, never made my own life outside of work - and I'll be dying early because I never lost the weight, never stopped smoking, never stopped drinking. I can see all this happening now. I want to change but everytime I try to change, a few days in I break. I give myself excuses, or re-frame the problem in such a way that I can have the cheeseburger or go buy a pack of smokes or be late on my car payment or not download the dating apps or not go for a walk or to the gym. I can always think my way around it and justify not doing it in my head. I say shit like: "Tomorrow will be a better day to start the diet because you didn't sleep well your willpower is low today" or "You have like 4 meetings today there is no way you should hit the gym before work you will be too tired towards the end of the day when you really need your brain" or "have some compassion for yourself we approached this all wrong go ahead and buy a pack of cigarettes and we will come up with a more reasonable plan than going cold turkey we will make a plan to stop smoking over time we'll do it tomorrow night" - I can always tell myself some bullshit story or some bullshit lie or I can be having an emotional moment that just overrides everything and I just do whatever the fuck I want to do regardless of my true wants, needs, goals, responsibilities. I'm 31 years old like I said a bunch of times, it's not funny anymore it's getting sad and scary and I am starting to have little hope for the future. I think dark thoughts, sometimes.
Any help or stories are greatly appreciated, thanks for reading.

Dear Reddit community,
I have a mother in law situation, I would love some advice if you have felt similar to me.
I have also made it all the worse by how I have acted, I'm not very good at hiding my feelings. She is actually a nice lady, although comments have been made by her own family members which I'll discuss below, I will discuss what frustrates me first and add context. It is a long read I am a little lost with this situation and it isn't going to be ongoing unfortunately.
My mother in law, is retired now, and comes from abroad, she tends to stay for a long time, last time was 1 month. Unfortunately she had to come alone, even though she had planned to come with my husband's aunt, which would have kept her company but she wasn't able to come. We were very busy with a renovation project and I felt bad that she wasn't being entertained. While also frustrated that she'd decide to come for a time we are both always busy during, albeit one of the most beautiful times of the year. She also refused to drive, (or travel by herself elsewhere) but then complained that the rural bus took such a long time, even though she was welcome to use our car while we we working.
This time she has come with her "friend" as she keeps telling our friends in this area, assuming he is a her partner, but that's also something which I don't have the capcity to pry about and can see from her previous relationships and being single as an older woman for a long timer, perhaps this is a confusing situation for her, I'm not sure. Her "friend" is very pleasant and nice, I'm glad she has a nice companion.
She has her own property nearby, so we can at least have our own privacy and hers too. While she is away we manage her house to be rented for the short term for tourists.
We live in a seasonal area, that is busy for short bursts and then quiet for months. So it's beautiful area to enjoy, so people always come and when they do they are on holiday but this is where we live.
I find everything MIL says annoying, frustrating and I don't know why but I just can't stand being around my MIL. She will just ask question after question, which my husband patiently answers. Meanwhile none of the replies seem to go in and aren't retained. I understand where we live is abroad for her, but she comes visit and doesn't seem to retain much of how things are here, I guess it's so foreign, its a big cultural difference to her and her home comforts. While she couldn't see us during the pandemic, she doesn't seem so old that she should have forgotten so many details.
The question asking I find infuriating which I just find really like prying, a friend told me it's a bid for connection, but it doesn't come that way to me. I did get frustrated last year and said I don't have the capacity for all her questions, and of course it offended her, yet has retained none of this visiting us again a few months later.
I just stay silent when we had to finally all hang out with my MIL, my husband and her "friend" companion man person. Because otherwise what I say comes out nasty and the annoyed-ness, contemptuousness isn't well hidden. Yes it is nasty of me I understand that, but I just don't know what to do about how I feel and I can't hide it.
She has finally realised this, I guess she was ignoring it, and she is a non confrontational person like my husband, which I am not, I don't want to make it worse by shouting at her. So has said she doesn't want me around. Which I'm glad, because the pretense of trying to seem like I like or enjoy her company was quite obvious that I didn't enjoy a minute of it. But I've felt I must hang out with my MIL for my husband's sake, which caused more arguments between my husband and I, in the end.
She also tends to act perhaps very soft, gentle, dithering by asking for advice, but Never taking it on, so it just feels like she's just wasting your time. In order to just then let you know what she has decided instead, then why ask for advice, make up your own mind instead, who cares if the decision is right or not, it seems like this "softness" is somewhat passive aggressive and manipulative.
My husband told me my sister in law has said that when she has visited her, she has been really fretting about making decisions, and asking for advice but not particularly interested of taking that on.
This is unfortunately this situation is putting my husband in the middle and it is causing him a lot of stress and grief.
I no longer go to his mother and he is responsible for his mother and the communication with her. Which has been a lot better on this visit, as she has misunderstood what I've messaged her on her last visit.
She's already discussing visiting us next year and we would like to make plans but it makes it feel like we can't because she has simply decided what she'll do and just come. He has told her that we may not be here and we are now realising that if she is just simply putting herself first, we must do so for ourselves as a couple too.
Another thing which I just find puzzling. Unless you're in our area to ski or hike, there isn't really much else to do where we live, she does neither activity. So why not spend that time visiting to see more of the country and travel? Yet she doesn't want to spend money. Which is a scarcity mindset of her own and probably due to saving pennies from her pension, but also you only live once and are only going to keep getting older and more tired. I might reiterate she is middle class but certainly not super poor, as she paid a lot of money for her flight to get here, it isn't cheap.
I am currently going through a bit of a lonely and hard season, my husband and I both feel a little trapped by our responsibilities. I won't go into more details but we are working through this, lots of arguments and it's been hard. While as my MIL hasn't had any long term relationships, I'm not super keen to have her involved or ask for advice in regards to our relationship, she won't even call this guy whose visiting with her right now, her boyfriend.
The interesting part about her long visits, which I know I should feel grateful for but I am not, as she came from very far away to be visiting my husband. Is that he left home at about 16 years old, she got him out of the rural area they are from as he had made some friends who were bad influences and he is glad that he moved away to study at such a young age and it made him who he is today.
So really since he has been a very young man, he hasn't spent much time for more than days with his mother.
He would tell me that she would grill him, as he used to smoke and very rightly didn't approve, so he'd avoid her and his dad (they were separated) lived nearby although he is a difficult narcissist, probably due to his narcissism he'd leave my husband alone. But we all self medicate from our own troubles and that's been a choice he has made, I also don't approve as I'd prefer him sober, but anxiety can be crippling for us all and we all cope in our own ways (I am online and on my phone too much for example).
As I've mentioned I am not good at keeping my feelings, I tend to prefer to discuss something which annoys me but as you know, that isn't exactly the most kind way to act in life. While also as it is my MIL, unlike my own mother, I can't make comments without it upsetting her or causing further issues.
As she is a kind person, I understand that she is trying to connect with me. I must also mention that my mother is asian (not indian asian), so she pretty much lets me be, leaves me alone and yes I'd love for her to care more, but that's not her love language, she tends to buy things and gift giving is how she shows love.
I understand that it is unfair to compare her to my own mother, but inevitably I am doing so.
I have blocked my MIL on my social media, because she would always just be looking to see what I'm up to, she isn't a customer, which is mainly what my instagram was originally for and I find it nosey. This may seem harsh, but I wasn't comfortable with her comments, or knowing things about me, to me this was setting a firm boundary.
I asked my husband's brother's wife, for advice, she has also mentioned that she finds our MIL frustrating and gives unwarranted advice, as she is a step mother of her granddaughters it is a different situation there. It has also made me realise it is not just me that finds her difficult. That also perhaps the long isolation during the pandemic made her behaviour a little worse? With more free time from being retired and so much time alone during this period, which I do feel simpathetic for.
Any advice apppreciated, I do think I'm being a little too hard on her, but I cannot help this feeling of frustration and annoyance. What is your advice, how can I get on with her and feel less annoyed?

This friend of mine(Asian-American) and I have known for each other for 3 years since we met in the language exchange group via zoom during the Covid outbreak. since then, he wanted to learn my language and me his native language, so we did a zoom meeting every Sunday.
And since he is so interested in my country, he would often visit my country once or twice a year, so that he can enroll in the language programme in one of the prestigious university here. I would often go hang out with him when he came here and we had fun time with his friends.
When he and I meet at the Zoom, he's sort of like acting as my mental counsellor... but that's what he's good at, because he is involved in public speech and reads a lot about relationships, psychology, etc. But I always think that I talk too much about myself and I feel guilty for not asking about him. Maybe that's because my English is not good and I'm not tactful?
Anyway, I have changed from introvert to a mildly talkative person recently, and that made us laugh at our meeting. The point is that I had a faint idea that I'm losing him.... might be delusional, might be right.
I find him gentle, kind, well-spoken, well-mannered, fun, and sociable(I lack these qualities) and I personally find him very attractive these days. Not that I want him to like me, but I want to be good and fun and talkative, and I hope these changes would make me get closer to him....
But things happened which made me a bit nervous. As we're doing a language exchange, we talk a lot about English and its accent. Since I'm so into Air Traffic Control conversations, I told him that I find American accent sexy, especially when it's spoken by men. I think I should have said 'attractive' , rather than 'sexy'. Anyway, I'm afraid this remark might have made him feel uncomfortable...? He then taught me how to do an American accent (I'm a british accent user), and things like that.
And then after we talked about things, he began asking me why I said I didn't want to marry 2 years ago, which made me really, really uncomfortable and alarmed. I told him as faithfully as I could, and he gave me tons of advice on that and said, 'thank you for being vulnerable and honest. it must have been hard to tell'.
3 days ago, we planned on going to a trip and going to an amusement park when he arrived here with his friends. Yesterday, I sent him a message, and he replied a while later because he was busy, but this made me very alarmed and fret all over.
I think problem is on me entirely. I'm afraid I might lose him, even though this relationship is fragile as hell. I got much comfort from him and since I have grown affection for him, I became somewhat reliant on him. This is dangerous... I don't want to make him uncomfortable or even hate me. What makes me like this is that his reply to me is becoming short and curt.
To think this makes me shudder and frightened, but should I keep a distance from him and fade away gradually...? to protect myself and him...? What should I do? I want to get closer to him but the nature of our relationship is.... and I'm too older than him anyway. I just want us to be good friend, but I get possessive.
What should I do? I'm afraid I was a bit flirty..

I am a 31 year old man, I have a good job I make 90k a year at a civil engineering firm, I got the job without a college degree. I'm on a roadmap for upper management there, I do very well at my job. That's all I really have going for me. I don't manage my money well so even as a single guy renting a small place with the 90k in a small college town I am broke all the time. I weigh 285lbs at 6'2" and am already having health problems from my weight and have to take blood pressure medication. I've never had a long term relationship (I have had short ones, not a total beginner). I smoke. I drink on the weekends with friends. I don't get good sleep. I sometimes see the worst in people, I can be very judgmental. When I get angry I say things to people I shouldn't, including people I really care about. The only place I feel competent is at work frankly. I've basically skated by through life with very little effort by just relying on my natural talents which are really only relevant at my job. I'm a programmer and a project manager who leads large conference calls, I'm good at solving little logic problems like the ones that exist in programming and I'm good in meetings I express myself well and can argue with clients or other firms effectively and respectfully and don't really get nervous about talking. My personal life is a mess and sometimes I'd rather just be at work all the time where I am rewarded for being kind of a hard-ass and writing code to solve some problems. Unlike in my personal life I am praised and rewarded at work even though I am just relying on my natural talents there. I wish I had the tenacity and endurance and discipline I see others have in their life. Life is more than just being good at your job, especially when you didn't even work hard to be good at it. I wish I could be kinder, have more compassion for others, take care of my physical health, find a long term romantic relationship, get my finances in order, stuff like that. I want to have kids, I want a wife, I want to afford vacations and a home. I want to know what it's like to be physically fit for once. I want to have more sex and be good at it. I want to learn another language. I want to read more books. I want to live my fucking life, like really live ya know? And I'm not. I'm not asking to be rich and famous, I'm not asking to become a genius. I'm not asking to be remembered when I'm gone. I just want a fulfilling life like everyone else on this rock.
Over the years, ever since I was probably 18 years old till now, I have tried every trick in the book. The X Effect, Atomic Habits, Goleman's "Emotional intelligence", Marc Manson, Cal Newport, Wayne Dyer, habit trackers like TickTick, alarms on my phone, visual reminders all over my house to eat well, take care of myself, blah blah blah. Personal trainers, therapy, drugs like wellbutrin and vyvanse, meditation, journaling, and much more. If there's some self-help thing out there for getting disciplined I've tried it. I have never really once showed up for myself in life. The only times I've worked especially hard is if I'm on a team, if others are relying on my output. I won't put out shitty work, I really won't, and I will stay late or work at home into the wee hours if there are others relying on my output. One of my big goals is I should go finish my college degree so I can make more money but the discipline required to do that while working I know I simply do not have.
I'm kind of looking for anything, any stories any hope from anyone. I am already 31 I feel like if I was going to get it together I would have by now. My performance at work will only get me so far in life, I can't totally rely on it and let it be my only source of pride and happiness. I will end up at 55 single and alone and yea they might pay me super well by then and I'll be some bigshot at the office but I'll be the guy staying late every night because I never made a family, never made my own life outside of work - and I'll be dying early because I never lost the weight, never stopped smoking, never stopped drinking. I can see all this happening now. I want to change but everytime I try to change, a few days in I break. I give myself excuses, or re-frame the problem in such a way that I can have the cheeseburger or go buy a pack of smokes or be late on my car payment or not download the dating apps or not go for a walk or to the gym. I can always think my way around it and justify not doing it in my head. I say shit like: "Tomorrow will be a better day to start the diet because you didn't sleep well your willpower is low today" or "You have like 4 meetings today there is no way you should hit the gym before work you will be too tired towards the end of the day when you really need your brain" or "have some compassion for yourself we approached this all wrong go ahead and buy a pack of cigarettes and we will come up with a more reasonable plan than going cold turkey we will make a plan to stop smoking over time we'll do it tomorrow night" - I can always tell myself some bullshit story or some bullshit lie or I can be having an emotional moment that just overrides everything and I just do whatever the fuck I want to do regardless of my true wants, needs, goals, responsibilities. I'm 31 years old like I said a bunch of times, it's not funny anymore it's getting sad and scary and I am starting to have little hope for the future. I think dark thoughts, sometimes.
​
Any help or stories are greatly appreciated, thanks for reading.

average person is just straight up retarded, both right and left, unfortunately everyone seems to be politically polarized but its wrong to have discussions about things anymore, i hate living in the west, it has many benefits but if it wasnt for the people i would stay, currently want to move to eastern europe (maybe poland, czech republic). the people are insufferable. people have opinions they know nothing about, usually just grabbing the most sanitized and generic opinion they have heard of with the interest group they identify with. i generally dont try to take an opinion unless i have knowledge in that area, or i preface it with that im not an expert. the thing i hate the most about this society is that people in the west think that they are perfect, or their society is perfect and so "progressive", when in reality right now its a dog shit mess, positive discrimination, discrimination, calling everything racist, the "halo effect", where people (including socially progressive people who think they have no biases) judge people based on their looks, (generalizing). you cant even say your own opinion to people without it being considered rude not to agree with the other person, you cant talk about facts, i would be considered right wing for saying illegal immigrants should be kicked out, or that governments has the right to refuse immigrants, even though i myself want to move countries and become an immigrant, because people forget that its also the governments responsibility to ensure the safety and welfare of the people already living in that country. its ultimately up to the government, however generally speaking i am pro freedom of movement.
people are so santized and cant form their own opinion, people have even called me biggoted for disliking japanese culture (live in australia so its generally speaking relevant in schools, unis, etc), because their general way of life is not compatible with me , and apperantly thats "ethocentrist" or "racist", they can call me that, i personally think my culture is better than theirs, because its from my perspective and MY values and morales, but that doesnt mean i hate japanese people, ive had japanese friends, they can enjoy their culture, and i can enjoy mine, just the same way that i dont make friends with people that are very different from me because we have different ways of life, which is just what culture is, doesnt mean i hate every person thats different than me, i dont care they can go live their lives. or say talking about gay people, i have a friend that likes cars, i dont mind cars too but he sometimes just goes on too much about them and i just tell him i dont care or i dont want to talk about cars, if someone is gay i dont care if they are gay but personally im not interested in hearing about how many guys they hooked up with because i dont personally identify with it, so i would tell tham aswell i dont care, thats my personal attitude, i just wish things werent so politically polarized, because i cant make friends anymore because they are all too concerned about their orwellian political correctness, years ago i had friends and i didnt even realize they were black or asian, as in of course i did but i didnt care and didnt think about it, but now you cant say anything to someone that could even be intepereted as a harmful stereotype or racist, so i always see someone by their race now. i am just a straight speaker
there is also bullshit, for getting scholarships at university just for being aboriginal or a woman in engineering, i think scholarships should be based on merit and financial need, not based on race or gender, just because someone is an aboriginal, it doesnt automatically make them disadvantaged which is the common narrative, which in itself could be considered racist, if your aboriginal, fine, but you shouldnt get a scholarship because of that, but because you did well at school, or because you come from a poor background, i think everyone should atleast be given the change to succeed at life, no matter where you come from. that also goes for people who are 90% white and identify as aboriginal because of a great grandmother or something, i literally have a quarter aboriginal cousin, i love him but it doesnt mean i want to boot lick them. i've also been told by someone that its "cultural appropriation" to appreciate someones culture, and take something from it to adopt yourself, i cant remember exactly what it was, i was just shocked when i heard that (i like exploring other peoples cultures and languages)
semantics are important aswell where people will always assume you mean the worst, today i gave some extra room for a disabled person when working out, even though there was space for me to workout next to them, the gym owner came and told me just to ask politely that i need to use the space, in response i said yeah well i usually do for "normal" people, and he asked me what i meant by "normal", where i meant nothing bad in the first place, as this is a problem with the english word for "normal", compare russian, where normal, as in the average person, the average situation, is "обычный" (obychny), whilst the world for "normal" as in following social norms or being viewed upon in a good manner is "нормальный" or "normalny", i love hearing different opinions and discusisng things, but people love to spout the socially acceptable answer and just keep it at that. or if you disagree with something they like their ego will get hurt, for example i had a friend that told me she wanted to go to canada, and i said "ew, canada", and she said thats offensive and hurt her feelings, i understand that i am more direct than other people, and some of it doesnt come down to them being unreasonable but different forms of communication, but its annoying thats how our culture is, for example in russia you can say your own opinion with people honestly, most people are alot more direct and open in discussion (this isnt a post glorifying russia, im just contrasting the parts i like with the parts i dislike in australia)
i could also rant about the people who are just openly racist but ive already ranted enough, but atleast they admit they are racist than hiding under a veil of social progressionism.
TLDR; i wish people were more open minded about discussions, as it seems that all opinions are created equal (aka we have free speech in society) but some opinions are more equal than others
what are your opinons, do you think there are any flaws in my logic, this does not go for everyone, but its my anecdotal appraisal of my life living in sunshine coast QLD australia. i kind of wrote this without any structure so there may be a few things not properly explained.

I don't fit in with strictly low or moderate/high support needs communities. On one hand, autism does definitely disable me, but on another, I have experienced dismissiveness and lateral ableism from both types of communities so I don't know where to go from here.
I was diagnosed with PPD-NOS but some professionals also told me Asperger's and was professionally assessed to have much higher verbal/linguistic intelligence than other areas. This helps me in some social situations, but I can often miss subtle body language cues. Body language is also highly contextual and contingent on culture and I find it difficult to tell the difference between universal and cultural cues in context.
When it comes to my early childhood, I was diagnosed at age 3 or 4 (idk) in the early 2000s. I have relatively affluent parents, but I'm still not sure how I, an Asian kid who was AFAB, managed to get diagnosed.
From there, I was enrolled in therapies like speech and OT. My exact memories of these therapies are quite fuzzy, but I do remember learning the Nod of Interest. I was also in mainstream schooling from K-12. However, in high school, I noticed that I got significantly less support and that I was close to burning out.
I am legitimately afraid that I will not be able to survive independently. I can work, but I don't know I'd I would able to do that and manage things like actually getting to work, bills, cleaning, or having an actual social life. At the same time, living with my parents is taking a huge toll on my mental health. I'm not sure I would be able to live with roommates either because I'm not sure if I would be able to navigate any sort of conflicting needs.
I can drive on short familiar routes while supervised but I live somewhere where we rarely ever see rain, let alone something like snow, or even hail. We also have relatively easily navigable roads. I think I would be more independent if I had access to a reliable public transportation system. I'm also okay with Ubering, but that isn't an option for me because of having overprotective Asian parents.
As of now, I am seeking employment, but have not had any luck in doing so. With this in mind, I'm not sure what my future entails. Many people my age have to work two jobs to make ends meet and I'm not sure I'd be able to hold down one. I also have been employed before and quite successfully, but I also had to quit vet tech school due to dissociative episodes that my instructors saw as a risk to patient safety.
I think having a caregiver would limit my autonomy too much, but I also can't have no one to support me. I also find it difficult to make friends as an adult, especially as someone who is very outspoken about politics. My only irl social life since becoming an adult is school, work, or family since I'm completely useless at initiating social interactions. I'm also embarrassed about still living with my parents and needing so much help from them.

Or getting close to that point.
A year ago, I graduated from my Masters Program. I told them that I’m transgender and am tired of their garbage and uninvited them from my graduation. I later caved and changed my mind. But it was really weird. They tried to love bomb me and say they will accept me. I deluded myself into thinking the issues weren’t my dad and mom being abusive, but rather that my own mental health was just so bad as a younger person that I was a disappointment and my parents were just looking out for me. So the difference in expectations lead to friction but now we could be on the same page.
Anyway, my mom tells me “I saw this coming and I don’t believe you bis is the last time you do something stupid/drop a bomb on us. Next time it happens. There’s no coming back”. My dad didn’t say much IRL and my mom was all “why didn’t you consult us before starting hormones?? It’s a decision we should have been included in”. (Old school abusive Asian parents who see us as extensions of them who need to get permission for decisions).
But that visit made me really realize how little I wanted or needed them. I thought they’d want to be supportive of my graduation and my transition. But they weren’t. I thought they’d leave issues aside just be happy to see me. They weren’t.
Instead I realized I wasn’t even excited to see them. They were struggling with public transit. I had told them very clearly “take this exact bus to this exact stop. Then take this exact train into time square.” I told them that since they are traveling internationally , they would struggle with WiFi. So ai told them to just just screenshot the map images I sent. I also told them that with how big Times Square is… there’s a lot of stations in the area. Strangers would give them incorrect information since they wouldn’t know exactly where they needed to go. They didn’t listen, got lost. I was pissed. In the weirdest way, it was clear how little I was trusted. I lived here for three years and spelled it out. But they wouldn’t listen.
Anyway. I thought I was chill with them. But I grew up speaking a gendered language and my mom was mad I was using pronouns that align with my identity. talk to my dad and realizethat theyve been listening to right wing grifters. They refuse to listen. I even explain what being trans means. How important it is to be gendered correctly. They end it with calling it a good “father son” talk (wrong pronouns).
Last time I met them in person + on a call today it was clear the grey rocking plus refusal to host them if they were to travel. My mom said “the shape of the relationship depends on me”.
It’s weird. But is nice to know they’ve given up. That they finally know I don’t want them

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“Friendship Is Forever,” by Sam Maggs and Keisha Okafor, in My Little Pony 40th Celebration (IDW)
“The Kelpie,” by Becky Cloonan, in Four Gathered on Christmas Eve (Dark Horse)
“The Lady of the Lake,” by Joe S. Farrar and Guilherme Grandizolli, in BUMP: A Horror Anthology #3 (BUMP)
“Talking to a Hill,” by Larry Hancock and Michael Cherkas, in Comics for Ukraine (Zoop)
“World’s Finest, Part 1,” by Tom King and Belen Ortega, in Wonder Woman #3 (DC)
BEST SINGLE ISSUE/ONE-SHOT
Horologist, by Jared Lee and Cross (Grim Film)
Nightwing #105, by Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo (DC)
Star Trek: Day of Blood—Shax’s Best Day, by Ryan North and Derek Charm (IDW)
Superman 2023 Annual, by Joshua Williamson and others (DC)
Sweet Paprika: Black, White, & Pink, by Mirka Andolfo and others (Image)
BEST CONTINUING SERIES
Birds of Prey, by Kelly Thompson and Leonardo Basto Romero (DC)
Nightwing, by Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo (DC Comics)
Shazam! by Mark Waid and Dan Mora (DC)
Transformers, by Daniel Warren Johnson (Image Skybound)
Wonder Woman, by Tom King and Daniel Sampere (DC)
BEST LIMITED SERIES
The Cull, by Kelly Thompson and Mattia De Iulis (Image)
Godzilla: Here There Be Dragons, by Frank Tieri and Inaki Miranda (IDW)
Kill Your Darlings, by Ethan S. Parker, Griffin Sheridan, and Robert Quinn (Image)
PeePee PooPoo, by Caroline Cash (Silver Sprocket)
Superman: Lost, by Christopher Priest and Carlo Pagulayan (DC)
BEST NEW SERIES
Beneath the Trees Where Nobody Sees, by Patrick Horvath (IDW) shincoal you did it! haha.
Black Cloak, by Kelly Thompson and Meredith McClaren (Image)
Local Man, by Tim Seeley and Tony Fleecs (Image)
Phantom Road, by Jeff Lemire and Gabriel Hernández Walta (Image)
Somna: A Bedtime Story, by Becky Cloonan and Tula Lotay (DSTLRY)
BEST PUBLICATION FOR EARLY READERS
Bigfoot and Nessie: The Art of Getting Noticed, by Chelsea M. Campbell and Laura Knetzger (Penguin Workshop/Penguin Random House)
Burt the Beetle Lives Here! by Ashley Spires (Kids Can Press)
Go-Go Guys, by Rowboat Watkins (Chronicle Books)
The Light Inside, by Dan Misdea (Penguin Workshop/Penguin Random House)
Milk and Mocha: Our Little Happiness, by Melani Sie (Andrews McMeel)
Tacos Today: El Toro & Friends, by Raúl the Third (HarperCollins/Versify)
BEST PUBLICATION FOR KIDS
Buzzing, by Samuel Sattin and Rye Hickman (Little, Brown Ink)
Mabuhay!, by Zachary Sterling (Scholastic Graphix)
Mexikid: A Graphic Memoir, by Pedro Martín (Dial Books for Young Readers/Penguin Young Readers)
Missing You, by Phellip Willian and Melissa Garabeli. translation by Fabio Ramos (Oni Press)
Saving Sunshine, by Saadia Faruqi and Shazleen Khan (First Second/Macmillan)
BEST PUBLICATION FOR TEENS
Blackward, by Lawrence Lindell (Drawn & Quarterly)
Danger and Other Unknown Risks, by Ryan North and Erica Henderson (Penguin Workshop/Penguin Random House)
Frontera, by Julio Anta and Jacoby Salcedo (HarperAlley)
Lights, by Brenna Thummler (Oni Press)
Monstrous: A Transracial Adoption Story, by Sarah Myer (First Second/Macmillan)
My Girlfriend’s Child, vol. 1, by Mamoru Aoi, translation by Hana Allen (Seven Seas)
BEST HUMOR PUBLICATION
How to Love: A Guide to Feelings & Relationships for Everyone, by Alex Norris (Candlewick/Walker Books)
I Was a Teenage Michael Jackson Impersonator, and Other Musical Meanderings, by Keith Knight (Keith Knight Press)
It’s Jeff: The Jeff-Verse #1, by Kelly Thompson and Gurihiru (Marvel)
Macanudo: Optimism Is for the Brave, by Liniers (Fantagraphics)
The Yakuza’s Bias, by Teki Yatsuda. translation by Max Greenway (Kodansha)
BEST ANTHOLOGY
Comics for Ukraine, edited by Scott Dunbier (Zoop)
Deep Cuts, by Kyle Higgins, Joe Clark, Danilo Beyruth, and others (Image)
The Devil’s Cut, edited by Will Dennis (DSTLRY)
Marvel Age #1000, edited by Tom Brevoort (Marvel)
The Out Side: Trans & Nonbinary Comics, edited by The Kao, Min Christensen, and David Daneman (Andrews McMeel)
Swan Songs by W. Maxwell Prince and others (Image)
BEST REALITY-BASED WORK
Are You Willing to Die for the Cause? by Chris Oliveros (Drawn & Quarterly)
Last on His Feet: Jack Johnson and the Battle of the Century, by Adrian Matejka and Youssef Daoudi (Liveright)
Messenger: The Legend of Muhammad Ali, by Marc Bernardin and Ron Salas (First Second/Macmillan)
Thing: Inside the Struggle for Animal Personhood, by Samuel Machado and Cynthia Sousa Machado with Steven M. Wise (Island Press)
Three Rocks: The Story of Ernie Bushmiller: The Man Who Created Nancy, by Bill Griffith (Abrams ComicArts)
BEST GRAPHIC MEMOIR
Family Style: Memories of an American from Vietnam, by Thien Pham (First Second/Macmillan)
A First Time for Everything, by Dan Santat (First Second/Macmillan)
In Limbo, by Deb JJ Lee (First Second/Macmillan)
Memento Mori, by Tiitu Takalo, translation by Maria Schroderus (Oni Press)
Sunshine: How One Camp Taught Me About Life, Death, and Hope, by Jarrett J. Krosoczka (Scholastic Graphix)
The Talk, by Darrin Bell (Henry Holt)
BEST GRAPHIC ALBUM—NEW
Ashes, by Álvaro Ortiz, translation by Eva Ibarzabal (Top Shelf/IDW)
Eden II, by K. Wroten (Fantagraphics)
A Guest in the House, by Emily Carroll (First Second/Macmillan)
Parasocial, by Alex De Campi and Erica Henderson (Image)
Roaming, by Mariko Tamaki and Jillian Tamaki (Drawn & Quarterly)
BEST GRAPHIC ALBUM—REPRINT
Doctor Strange: Fall Sunrise Treasury Edition, by Tradd Moore (Marvel)
The Good Asian, by Pornsak Pichetshote and Alexandre Tefenkgi (Image)
Hip Hop Family Tree: The Omnibus, by Ed Piskor (Fantagraphics)
Orange Complete Series Box Set, by Ichigo Takano, translation by Amber Tamosaitis (Seven Seas)
Wonder Woman Historia: The Amazons, by Kelly Sue DeConnick, Phil Jimenez, Gene Ha, and Nicola Scott (DC)
BEST ADAPTATION FROM ANOTHER MEDIUM
Bea Wolf, adapted by Zach Weinersmith and Boulet (First Second/Macmillan)
DRCL midnight children, vol. 1, based on Bram Stoker’s Dracula, by Shin’ichi Sakamoto, translation by Caleb Cook (VIZ Media)
H.P. Lovecraft’s The Shadow over Innsmouth, adapted by Gou Tanabe, translation by Zack Davisson (Dark Horse Manga)
The Monkey King: The Complete Odyssey, adapted by Chaiko, translation by Dan Christensen (Magnetic)
Watership Down, by Richard Adams, adapted by James Sturm and Joe Sutphin (Ten Speed Graphic)
BEST U.S. EDITION OF INTERNATIONAL MATERIAL
Ashes, by Álvaro Ortiz, translation by Eva Ibarzabal (Top Shelf/IDW)
Blacksad, Vol 7: They All Fall Down, Part 2, by Juan Díaz Canales and Juanjo Guarnido, translation by Diana Schutz and Brandon Kander (Europe Comics)
A Boy Named Rose, by Gaëlle Geniller, translation by Fabrice Sapolsky (Fairsquare Comics)
The Great Beyond, by Léa Murawiec, translation by Aleshia Jensen (Drawn & Quarterly)
Shubeik Lubeik, by Deena Mohamed (Pantheon Books/Penguin Random House)
Spa, by Erik Svetoft, translation by Melissa Bowers (Fantagraphics)
BEST U.S. EDITION OF INTERNATIONAL MATERIAL—ASIA
DRCL midnight children, vol. 1, based on Bram Stoker’s Dracula, by Shin’ichi Sakamoto, translation by Caleb Cook (VIZ Media)
Goodbye, Eri, by Tatsuki Fujimoto, translation by Amanda Haley (VIZ Media)
The Horizon, vol. 1, by JH, translation by ULTRAMEDIA Co. Ltd. (Yen/Ize Press)
My Picture Diary, by Fujiwara Maki, translation by Ryan Holmberg (Drawn & Quarterly)
River’s Edge, by Kyoko Okazaki, translation by Alexa Frank (Kodansha)
The Summer Hikaru Died, vol. 1, by Mokumokuren, translation by Ajani Oloye (Yen Press)
BEST ARCHIVAL COLLECTION/PROJECT—STRIPS
Dauntless Dames: High-Heeled Heroes of the Comic Strips, edited by Peter Maresca and Trina Robbins (Sunday Press/Fantagraphics)
David Wright’s Carol Day: Lance Hallam, edited by Roger Clark, Chris Killackey, and Guy Mills (Slingsby Bros, Ink!)
Popeye Sundays Vol 3: The Sea Hag and Alice the Goon, by E.C. Segar, edited by Conrad Groth and Gary Groth (Fantagraphics)
Walt Disney’s Silly Symphonies 1932-1935: Starring Bucky Bug and Donald Duck and Walt Disney’s Silly Symphonies 1935-1939: Starring Donald Duck and Big Bad Wolf, edited by David Gerstein (Fantagraphics)
Where I’m Coming From, by Barbara Brandon-Croft, edited by Peggy Burns and Tracy Hurren (Drawn & Quarterly)
BEST ARCHIVAL COLLECTION/PROJECT—COMIC BOOKS
Adventures Into Terror: The Atlas Comics Library, vol. 1, edited by Michael J. Vassallo (Fantagraphics)
All-Negro Comics 75th Anniversary Edition, edited by Chris Robinson (Very GOOD Books)
The Ballad of Halo Jones Full Colour Omnibus, by Alan Moore and Ian Gibson, edited by Olivia Hicks (2000AD/Rebellion)
The John Severin Westerns Featuring American Eagle, edited by Michael Dean (Fantagraphics)
Michael Golden’s Marvel Stories Artist’s Edition, edited by Scott Dunbier (IDW)
BEST WRITER
Stephen Graham Jones, Earthdivers (IDW)
Mariko Tamaki, Roaming (Drawn & Quarterly)
Tom Taylor, Nightwing, Titans (DC)
Kelly Thompson, Birds of Prey, Harley Quinn, Black White and Redder (DC); Black Cloak, The Cull (Image); It’s Jeff, Captain Marvel (Marvel)
Mark Waid, Batman/Superman: World’s Finest, Shazam!, World’s Finest: Teen Titans (DC)
G. Willow Wilson, Poison Ivy (DC); Hunger and the Dusk (IDW)
BEST WRITEARTIST
Emily Carroll, A Guest in the House (First Second/Macmillan)
Bill Griffith, Three Rocks (Abrams ComicArts)
Daniel Warren Johnson, Transformers (Image Skybound)
Mokumokuren, The Summer Hikaru Died, vol. 1 (Yen Press)
Zoe Thorogood, Hack/Slash: Back To School (Image)
Tillie Walden, Clementine Book Two (Image Skybound)
BEST PENCILLEINKER OR PENCILLEINKER TEAM
Jason Shawn Alexander, Detective Comics (DC); Killadelphia, with Germán Erramouspe (Image)
Tula Lotay, Barnstormers: A Ballad of Love and Murder (Comixology Originals/Best Jackett)
Inaki Miranda, Godzilla: Here There Be Dragons (IDW)
Dan Mora, Batman/Superman: World’s Finest, Shazam! (DC)
Chris Samnee, Fire Power (Image Skybound)
Jillian Tamaki, Roaming (Drawn & Quarterly)
BEST PAINTEMULTIMEDIA ARTIST (INTERIOR ART)
Jason Shawn Alexander, Blacula: Return of the King (Zombie Love Studios)
Chaiko, The Monkey King (Magnetic)
Juanjo Guarnido, Blacksad, Vol 7: They All Fall Down, Part 2 (Europe Comics)
Liam Sharp, Nocterra: Nemesis Special (Best Jackett); Starhenge: The Dragon and the Boar (Image)
Martin Simmonds, Universal Monsters: Dracula (Image Skybound)
Sana Takeda, The Night Eaters: Her Little Reapers (Abrams ComicArts); Monstress (Image)
BEST COVER ARTIST
Jen Bartel, DC Pride 2023, Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville #1 (DC); Captain Marvel: Dark Tempest #1, Demon Wars: Scarlet Sin #1, Scarlet Witch #9, Sensational She-Hulk (Marvel)
Evan Cagle, Detective Comics (DC)
Jenny Frison, Alice Never After #1, BRZRKR: Fallen Empire #1, and other alternate covers (BOOM! Studios); Knight Terrors: Harley Quinn #1–2, Poison Ivy #8, #12 (DC)
E. M. Gist, Expanse Dragon Tooth #1, Something Is Killing the Children #28 & #34, Wild’s End, vol 2 #4 and other alternate covers (BOOM! Studios); Amazing Spider-Man #23, Doctor Aphra #36, Moon Knight #3, Nightcrawlers #1, Wolverine #38 (Marvel)
Peach Momoko, Demon Wars: Scarlet Sin, various alternate covers (Marvel)
Dan Mora, Coda #3, Damn Them All #4, MMPR 30th Anniversary Special #1, Rare Flavours #3 and other alternate covers (BOOM! Studios); Batman/Superman: World’s Finest, Outsiders #1, Poison Ivy #9, Shazam!, Titans #1 (DC)
BEST COLORING
Jordie Bellaire, Batman, Birds of Prey (DC); Dark Spaces: Hollywood Special (IDW)
Matt Hollingsworth, Captain America, Doctor Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy, Punisher (Marvel)
Lee Loughridge, Red Zone (AWA); Edgeworld, Grammaton Punch, Nostalgia (Comixology Originals); The Devil’s Cut, Gone, Somna (DSTLRY); Star Trek (IDW); Killadelphia (Image); Hunt. Kill. Repeat. (Mad Cave)
Dave McCaig, The Sacrificers (Image), The Walking Dead Deluxe (Image Skybound)
Dean White, Conan the Barbarian (Titan Comics)
BEST LETTERING
Emily Carroll, A Guest in the House (First Second/Macmillan)
Benoit Dehan and Lauren Bowes, Inside the Mind of Sherlock Holmes (Titan Comics)
Bill Griffith, Three Rocks (Abrams ComicArts)
Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou, The Unlikely Story of Felix and Macabber, The Witcher: Wild Animals, and others (Dark Horse); Batman: City of Madness, The Flash, Poison Ivy, and others (DC); Black Cat Social Club (Humanoids); Beneath the Trees Where Nobody Sees (IDW); The Cull, What’s the Furthest Place from Here? (Image); and others
Richard Starkings, Barnstormers: A Ballad of Love and Murder, Canary (Comixology Originals/Best Jackett); Parliament of Rooks (Comixology); Astro City, Battle Chasers (Image); Conan the Barbarian (Titan Comics)
Rus Wooton, Monstress, The Sacrificers (Image); Fire Power, Kroma, Transformers, The Walking Dead Deluxe, Universal Monsters: Dracula, Void Rivals (Image Skybound); Hunt. Kill. Repeat., A Legacy of Violence, Nature’s Labyrinth (Mad Cave)
BEST COMICS-RELATED PERIODICAL/JOURNALISM
The Comics Journal #309; edited by Gary Groth, Kristy Valenti, and Austin English (Fantagraphics)
“The Indirect Market,” by Brandon Schatz and Danica LeBlanc, comicsbeat.com
Rob Salkowitz, for Forbes, ICv2.com, Publishers Weekly
SKTCHD, by David Harper, www.sktchd.com
SOLRAD: The Online Literary Magazine for Comics, www.solrad.co (Fieldmouse Press)
BEST COMICS-RELATED BOOK
Bryan Talbot: Father of the British Graphic Novel, by J. D. Harlock and Bryan Talbot (Brainstorm Studios)
Confabulation: An Anecdotal Autobiography, by Dave Gibbons (Dark Horse)
Flamed Out: The Underground Adventures and Comix Genius of Willy Murphy, edited by Nicki Michaels, Ted Richards, and Mark Burstein (Fantagraphics)
I Am the Law: How Judge Dredd Predicted Our Future, by Michael Molcher (Rebellion)
The Pacific Comics Companion, by Stephan Friedt and Jon B. Cooke (TwoMorrows)
Thalamus: The Art of Dave McKean (Dark Horse)
BEST ACADEMIC/SCHOLARLY WORK
Asian Political Cartoons, by John A. Lent (University Press of Mississippi)
The Claremont Run: Subverting Gender in the X- Men, by J. Andrew Deman (University of Texas Press)
Desegregating Comics: Debating Blackness in the Golden Age of American Comics, edited by Qiana Whitted (Rutgers University Press)
If Shehrazad Drew: Critical Writings on Arab Comics, by George Khoury-Jad (Sawaf Center for Arab Comics Studies and American University of Beirut Press)
In Visible Archives: Queer and Feminist Visual Culture in the 1980s, by Margaret Galvan (University of Minnesota Press)
Super Bodies: Comic Book Illustration, Artistic Styles, and Narrative Impact, by Jeffrey A. Brown (University of Texas Press)
BEST PUBLICATION DESIGN
Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein boxed set, designed by Mike Kennedy (Magnetic)
Gratuitous Ninja, by Ronald Wimberly, designed by Chloe Scheffe (Beehive Books)
Inside the Mind of Sherlock Holmes, designed by Benoit Dahan andDonna Askem (Titan Comics)
Iron Maiden: Piece of Mind, designed by Josh Bernstein and Rob Schwager (Z2)
Toilet-bound Hanako-kun First Stall Box Set, designed by Wendy Chan (Yen Press)
BEST WEBCOMIC
Asturias: The Origin of a Flag, by Javi de Castro, https://www.javidecastro.com/asturias-the-origin-of-a-flag
Daughter of a Thousand Faces, by Vel (Velinxi), https://tapas.io/series/daughter-of-a-thousand-faces/info (Tapas)
Lore Olympus, by Rachel Smythe, https://www.webtoons.com/en/romance/lore-olympus/s3-episode-226/viewer?title_no=1320&episode_no=231 (WEBTOON)
Matchmaker, vol. 6, by Cam Marshall at https://matchmakercomic.com/. (Silver Sprocket)
3rd Voice, by Evan Dahm, https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/3rd-voice/list?title_no=828919 (WEBTOON)
Unfamiliar, by Haley Newsome: https://tapas.io/series/unfamiliainfo (Tapas)
BEST DIGITAL COMIC
Blacksad, Vol 7: They All Fall Down, Part 2. by Juan Díaz Canales and Juanjo Guarnido, translation by Diana Schutz and Brandon Kander (Europe Comics)
Friday, by Ed Brubaker and Marcos Martin, vols. 7–8 (Panel Syndicate)
Parliament of Rooks, by Abigail Jill Harding (Comixology Originals)
Practical Defense Against Piracy, by Tony Cliff (delilahdirk.com)
A Witch’s Guide to Burning, by Aminder Dhaliwal (Instagram.com/aminder_d)