If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641

• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!

My contact details:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
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I have a feeling there isn’t much I can do, but figured it would be worth it to post here and see what my options are.
I’m a remote employee based in Ohio. I worked at a company based in Maryland that provided employees the option to opt-in to a phone plan. I was sent a new phone, and was allowed to keep my personal phone number. Super easy transition off my family plan, and it was free. Amazing.
I have since left this company. They gave me two options at my departure - 1. Return the phone and lose my personal number, or 2. Keep the phone and keep my personal number. I asked if there was a way I could keep my personal number but return the phone because the balance was so high ($1.3k). They said yes.
In order to keep my personal number and return the phone they sent, my ex-company was supposed to keep the remaining balance of the phone ($1.3k - side note: no idea how it was that high after being on the plan for 8 months, maybe because it was a business plan?) on their phone plan. For some reason when I went through the transfer process with Verizon, the balance was still attached to my number. I was forced by Verizon to pay the remaining balance while I was at the store, since the transfer was already complete. My ex-company agreed that I could send the phone back along with the receipt from Verizon (proving I paid the remaining balance) and company laptop and they would pay me back once they received everything. I was assured in an email thread multiple times that I would be reimbursed for the total I paid.
After the last email they sent finally confirming they received the equipment, I have been ghosted for about a month now. I am only emailing with one person, and in the last email they told me that they are waiting to hear from their supervisor on how to reimburse me for the phone. I have followed up multiple times, and no response. I have gone on numerous trips with this company where I would need to put purchases on my personal credit card and the reimbursement process was always extremely easy/quick. They also have my address and banking info as I was previously using direct deposit, so again, this should not be an issue. A part of me wants to request them to send the phone back to me since I bought and so I can at least sell it off and get some of the money back.
Overall - while all of this is tracked in an email thread I’m just not sure I can say that it’s my property, even though I have proof I paid for it, if it’s in their possession and I can’t get anyone to respond to me.
P.S. I’m sure this audience doesn’t need to hear this, but don’t be a dumb ass and join a company’s phone plan with your personal number. They can literally track everything you do and you will have no privacy if they choose to snoop.
Thanks for reading!

Hey so this is a throwaway account for obvious reasons.
I am involved in a divorce trial that has effectively gone off the rails after two years.
Last week I was anonymously contacted by someone who had deep knowledge about my trial, suggesting they were 'on my side' and a lot of other stuff. This person knew me by name, knew the case history, names of judges/lawyers, and has been pumping me for information about my intentions. I don't want to get into the details but I have strong reason to believe this person is working against me, either with an attempt to blackmail me, or to set me up.
The number was a Spectrum Mobile mobile phone number.
I am representing myself pro-se and I'm just wondering what is the process to convince a judge to issue a subpoena we can serve to Spectrum Mobile to uncover who contacted me anonymously?
I assume I file a motion asking the judge to issue a subpoena? And maybe I submit a sworn affidavit regarding my contact with this person and why I believe it is important to know who is contacting me?
Or is there a different process to request the judge issue subpoenas?
Do you think a judge would issue a subpoena for something like this? Like is it possible to compel Spectrum to tell us who is bugging me? Is this kind of thing common? If a judge is unlikely to rule in my favor I might not waste my time filing this report since doing so would alert everyone to the fact I am aware I am being set up.
On another level, this is also somewhat frightening. The person who contacted me is clearly an attorney or works fowith the Courts in some capacity. The Judges and Courts in this case believe I am about to stage a public protest, and I believe powerful people are trying to influence or destroy me.
This is a very real post and I will delete this post shortly.
edit: is there a way to file the motion so the opposing attorneys do not see my filing? I am concerned as soon as I file my motion, the person contacting me will be alerted I am 'onto them'

Im located in Cleveland, Ohio. I bought a condo for $106,000 in cash a couple months ago, currently renting it for $1400 and netting $960. I quickly realized after talking with some other real estate investors at a networking event that I could be making a lot more if I took 75% out of this condo and put that money towards 2-3 more similar priced properties. Even with the high interest rates right now (up to 7.5%) I ran the numbers and it makes sense. Only issue i'm running into is no proof of income so I wanted to ask if anybody knows how I can qualify for a mortgage with 20% down without w-2 forms. Can I use my rental income as projected income or how would a co sign work with a parent? All feedback appreciated. I have also considered just taking out the cash and maxing out my roth ira then putting the rest into VOO and FXAIX.

If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641

• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!

My contact details:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
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Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

Hi, I’m bonzos-number-1-fan You might know me from such theories as; "Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre", "What R# Means: The ABCs of Fear" or, "Padlocks, How Do They Even Work?".
I’m back with another essay about this show. Today’s subject is a little different from previous ones. Rather than explaining what I think something in this show is, I’ll be explaining what I think it isn’t. What I’m going to be talking about is the very popular theory that CAT1/2/3 means the supernatural aspect is a Person/Place/Object.
Because I’m talking about other people’s ideas here I do want to start off by saying I understand why this theory is attractive and I don’t think anyone is stupid or anything for believing it. I just personally think there are angles from which it doesn’t work and that the sum of them makes it fairly certain to be untrue. I could be very wrong about that, and my other theories, or I could be very right. I don’t think either scenario matters much. This essay isn’t about being right but about talking about a big thing in the community. I just happen to not believe this one and people have signalled interest in hearing why.
So with all that out of the way I’m going to start by establishing the terminology being used. Then I’ll break down what this theory is positing and follow it up with the ways I think it does and doesn’t work. That’s basically it but with 16 episodes and supplemental material to cover it’s still not going to be terribly short.
Huge thanks to @brettanomycroft for proof reading/editing this madness.

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to and including episode 16.

 

What is a CAT#?

A CAT# is the first 4-5 characters of an OIAR's incident report header. While these are not often referenced in the main body of the show, each incident we hear is accompanied by one in the show's description and transcript. As an example this is the case number for the first incident of episode 1.

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024

Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]

The first line is the case number. CAT1 is this incident's CAT#. The RBC (R#/Rank) and 5257 (DPHW) have been topics I've discussed in essays I linked at the start. The second line is the header and is formatted “Section (Subsection) -/- Crosslink [Format]”. CAT#s is all we're concerning ourselves with today but I will be using this terminology going forward.
Now we know what they look like, what is it we know about them? Well, not much at all. From the show itself we know there are CAT1s, CAT2s, CAT3s and CAT23s. From the Klaus excel sheet that was found as part of the ARG (and can be found here) we also know there are CAT12s and CAT13s. With that information we can say with some certainty that CAT1, CAT2, and CAT3 are non-mutually exclusive groupings. It's very likely not a linear scale of some description—i.e CAT23 isn't between CAT2 and CAT3—because CAT13 doesn't fit such a scale. Which means that where there are two numbers in a CAT# that incident likely fits both groups rather than being a new group. This also strongly implies that an incident could be CAT123 although we have yet to see that demonstrated.
We also know that CAT is short for "Category". In the Klaus sheet these numbers are located in the "Kategorie" column. "Kategorie" being German for "category". This unfortunately doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. CAT#s denote some form of grouping.
There is only one other fact we know about CAT#s and that's this:

ALICE
Right, so, after each entry there's four numbers. That’s the DPHW. So, “dolls comma watching” is… 1157. Then you cross reference with the table here, that would be a 2-C, and then you type that into the box here, along with date of incident if there is one and today’s date.

Which is not a lot to go on at all but it does raise an important question. How is a CAT# assigned? There are two major assumptions you could make here. The first is the “objective method” and that it’s a factor of either the section, subject, DPHW or a combination thereof. This means that they are pre-assigned in the same way that DPHWs are. This method has an inherent trait in that it means every header manifests as the same sort of thing. While it’s not a problem to say that every Doll (Watching) is the same— that could just be the rules of the setting—it does make CAT# itself somewhat redundant. The terminology of the headers will often describe something inherent about the CAT#. We have a CAT3 case that’s Dice (Bone) -/- Fate but dice are objects so why would you need to restate that?
The second is the “subjective method” in which the assessor chooses the CAT# based on the incident itself. The subjective method has a larger assumption built into it in that they know what CAT#s are. They don’t know what DPHW is and have shown no indication of knowing what CAT# is either. So I’d say it’s less likely that CAT#s are subjective rather than objective. However, for the purposes of this essay I will assume that both are as likely to be true as each other and will refer to them both. Different cases show different flaws when one of these is true over the other, so both will get discussed.
 

What is Person/Place/Object?

Person/Place/Object is the theory that the three single digit CAT#s stand for Person, Place, and Object respectively. Combinations of these digits represent that an incident falls into each category. A CAT1 incident indicates that the supernatural element of an incident is a person in some respect, while a CAT23 would indicate both a place and an object.
As I have mentioned this isn’t a theory with a single theorist or origin to point to. As such this theory isn’t a monolith and there is variation in how these categories are presented from theory to theory. Sometimes “Person” is literal and other times it includes any sentient thing, “places” aren’t always strictly physical locations, and the narrative framing of what “objects” are may shift. As such I will be taking the broadest interpretation of these categories as their definitions.
People will include animals and other sentient beings. Places will include metaphysical locations. Objects won’t need to be physical in nature. This is both the fairest I can be to all theories and also the strongest I can make this theory. The broader I can make these definitions, the more different ideas can be represented and the more wiggle room the CAT#s get.
What I’ll do next is run through all the incidents the show has mentioned and explain them as I see it. We’ll start with the ones that fit this theory well because they require little explanation. Then when that’s established we’ll talk about the places I think this theory falls down.
 

Which Incidents fit well?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: There is something like a zombie in this incident. That’s something like a person and so fits well.
CAT1RB4824 Injury (Needles) -/- Intimidation: Needles is definitely a person, no question there.
CAT1RB2275 Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder: Bonzo walks, “talks”, and probably thinks. He’s a person.
CAT1B4728 Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy: Bonzo is still doing that stuff so is still a person.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/-Horde: There was a person and they turned into snakes. Snakes count as people here too. Given the amount of snakes this is the most CAT1 CAT1.
CAT1RB-6451 Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion: Lady M is the most person on this list.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Definitely involves a person doing something supernatural.
 

CAT2:

CAT2C8175 Infection (Full Body) -/- Arboreal: This incident takes place in a time and space bending garden. Makes perfect sense for CAT2.
CAT2RB2377 Disappearance (Undetermined) -/- Invitation: A spooky theatre is a location for sure.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: In this instance the object in question is the tattoo. Which I think is really stretching the definition of “object” but I’m still going to give it to the theory.
CAT3C7494 Collection (Blood) -/- Musical: A magical violin is definitely an object.
CAT3RB3354 Dice (Bone) -/- Fate: Bone dice are inarguably objects.
CAT3RB4622 Gambling (Application) -/- Murder: It’s another stretch to call an app an object but, again, happy to give it to the theory.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RAB2155 Transformation (Eyes) -/- Trespass: In this incident’s case the location is the Magnus Institute and the object is the box RedCanary stole. I think there are some problems with this one but there is enough to get through.
 

Which Incidents Don't?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: You’re not misremembering, I did say this fit well. Because on the surface it really does make sense, but I think if you push just a little it makes very little sense. Why? Because any category you want to place this in is easily justified in the incident itself. There is a zombie-esque thing but also a Frankenstein-esque figure for CAT1. CAT 2 would be the location of the graveyard itself. It was chosen by the presumed creator of this zombie-like creature and is depicted similar to the one in Marked, a CAT23 incident. If this theory is correct and the Marked graveyard is supernatural I can’t see a reason to discount that possibility here. CAT3 fits too because the presumed creation method is that they were Frankenstein-ed which does require some sort of surgical apparatus. But whichever choice you make you’ve not really clarified the incident at all.
This issue is further seen in the methodology of assigning CAT#s.Objectively it has the same problem all objective assignments do. Reanimation implies there is going to be a reanimated person so restating that doesn’t add much. If we look at the subjective method then this is chosen largely at random. There isn’t enough of an indication in this incident to clearly state which CAT this is. So it’s neither helped in the assessment of the incident and doesn’t provide anything for response because all choices are justifiable.
 
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde: Not misremembering here either. There is a problem with this one in that it’s demonstrated to be an infection. This makes the source of the affliction basically unknowable. The source could qualify it for other CATs but the larger issue here is that what CAT1 means here and what it means elsewhere are not that comparable. Needles, Bonzo, and Lady M are all sentient and independent. The afflicted we see in this case are normal people until they get very rapidly sick, summon a portal to the snake dimension in their throats, and die. Which leaves CAT1 translating to “something in the rough shape of a person” which is a really wide range of interpretations. Which is something I feel has little practical utility in either assessing or responding to these incidents.
 
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Still not misremembering. While you can say that Ink5oul or Madame E are the person in this instance there is a major conflict here with CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic. If Daria’s transformation was CAT3 because tattoos are objects then there is no reasonable justification that this isn’t at least CAT13. It’s the same person, doing the same thing, to a very similar result but in a different CAT. The headers are entirely different, and so this/that may be misfiled, but it highlights a problem with Daria’s incident. If the incident with the Tattoo header isn’t an object then tattoos are probably not objects under this scheme.
If this is objective then this is always a person, or on people, which makes a great deal of sense. However if that’s the case then the objective method for Daria’s case sort of falls apart because there wasn’t really a secondary object there. Additionally, because all incidents with that case’s header being objects is a huge stretch. So if this incident, or that incident, is misfiled it doesn’t really matter. In either case (or even if both of them are misfiled), it largely disproves that tattoos are objects, creating a larger issue with that theory as it affects more than just this case. Subjectively as far as we’re aware Sam filed all three of the Ink5oul incidents. So he chose an object in Daria’s case but then opted against it here despite there being no real reason to that we can see. You could say that now Ink5oul has been in it more, he thinks Ink5oul has some sort of supernatural power themselves which makes them a CAT1; that would still make this CAT13 as episode 11 was CAT23.
 

CAT2:

CAT2RC1157 Dolls (Watching): This is a big one in my opinion. It’s not only the first incident we’re told about, but it's both Sam’s and our first exposure to an explanation of the OIAR’s filing system. It’s also one I see ignored in most of the posts that posit the Person/Place/Object theory. That is understandable as we don’t hear the incident itself but we do hear enough of it to show that there is a flaw in the theory.
What we hear about this incident is entirely focused on the doll itself and questions about its nature. It’s a split between Dolls (Watching) and Dolls (Human Skin) with the former being chosen as the latter is only implied. Dolls themselves are objects which would make this CAT3, and if the doll is sentient a CAT1. However, this is placed in CAT2 indicating that it's actually caused by the location in some respect. In order for that to make sense you have to make 3 major assumptions. Assumption 1: despite no indication in the conversation about this incident suggesting anything outside of the doll being strange there was actually a “haunted house”. Assumption 2: despite there being sections far more descriptive of locations—i.e Architecture—Dolls is more suited to this incident. Assumption 3: despite this being Sam’s/the audience’s first exposure to this system it leaves out the real source of the incident when, narratively, this is an explanation of it. Those are some fairly major assumptions to make to justify a theory.
This also has issues with either method of assigning CAT#s. If CAT# is objective then every Dolls (Watching) is actually a location. Unlike with something like Reanimation (Partial) that doesn't make much sense as dolls themselves are objects. In the subjective method, Alice assigned this as a location but their discussion of it centred solely on an object and she didn't explain to Sam why she did it.
 
CAT2RC3338 Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation: This might be my favourite example of issues I have with this theory. To explain it we’ll look at this from both the objective and subjective methods while taking into account outside knowledge of the show from an audience perspective.
Everyone I’ve seen posit this theory attributes CAT2 to Hilltop here.They do this solely because of TMA. There is nothing in this episode that makes Hilltop out to be anything special in any way. But because Hilltop is special in TMA the audience is primed to view this location as special. It may very well be but there is no reason to think that. In fact, I’d argue there's reason to think otherwise based on this episode, but that is a little off topic for this essay. However from an objective perspective it can’t take Hilltop into account because not every header of this sort will take place in Hilltop. They could only manifest at special locations but that seems like a stretch. If it is true, why does this unique combination of words not include a word that describes it as a location? Subjectively it could be a misfile. Celia would be the only person who knows what Hilltop is in TMA— assuming some of the theories on her are correct—but that doesn’t make Hilltop important in and of itself. It also means she ignored large parts of this incident when filing it just to focus on that element. As this case is the one Alice uses to teach Celia the system with, then this also relies on Alice knowing or not correcting Celia. In either scenario this case is full of people of definite supernatural quality, lacks a location of supernatural quality, but has 100s of objects of dubious supernatural quality. Something doesn’t make sense here if this theory is correct.
 
CAT2RBC3366 Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger: This one is interesting because it shows a flaw not in the theory per se but in the methodology as a whole if the theory is correct. If CAT# is what the theory says it is why is this just CAT2? It being CAT2 at all is redundant when its header describes a location but in this incident we see it’s populated by supernatural creatures. I call them Uncannybals—as should you—and they’re monsters living in the shadow realm. That seems like very important information to include. So it should be CAT12 as there are both people and a place. The OIAR methodology already has the problem that you can’t include multiple headers but CAT#s, if they worked like this, could be used to alleviate that issue. The way it’s implemented here just makes it virtually pointless to include at all.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: This was largely already covered. So simply put if Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic is an object because of the tattoo, and Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion is an object because of the tattoo, but Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac isn’t an object despite being virtually identical to this case then CAT3 doesn't mean object.
The method problems are the same as above too. Now this case is the one most likely of the three to be misfiled. So you could say that Daria's case is misfiled and would actually be CAT1 if filed correctly. Tattoos aren’t objects, this case is a mistake. Then you could explain that Marked is CAT23 because corpses are objects (so 13 if he was alive). Objectively this header always being CAT3 still poses problems because we know there are Transformations that don’t require objects. Which brings us back to the problem of “why are the headers so bad at describing these things?”. If it’s subjective Sam decided that object instead of person made more sense here. Seemingly based on the fact that there is a tattoo. Later on he changed his mind about this but choosing it in the first place seems like a stretch. If he knew what these things meant in order to choose them, object seems like a very unobvious choice.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RC5246 Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion: This one is fairly clear to me. I’m going to be very generous and suggest that the corpse here is the object based on the above. The reason this one is a problem is that there wasn’t a location here. I’ve seen people say that it must be the graveyard but that’s confirmation bias IMO. It wasn’t a large feature of the episode, didn’t do anything coastal graveyards don’t do, and had no overt supernatural properties to it. I don’t personally think anyone would categorise this as CAT23 based on the incident alone but because CAT23 people will justify it to fit. That’s not inherently a problem because sometimes you have to make assumptions but given all of the above I don’t think that assumption is a reasonable one to make.
Objectively all compelling corpse tattoos are found in magical graveyards—or morgues, tombs, goth bars, and other corpse hangouts—and I think we can all agree that’s sort of wack. Subjectively Sam decided the graveyard was magic despite there being nothing to suggest that.
 

Klaus’ CAT#s:

This is a bit of a special section. I briefly mention Klaus in the intro but I didn’t mention that some of the incidents we’ve heard have been found on the Klaus sheet. The canonicity of these aren’t 100% and I would say the show takes precedent so this is supplemental rather than definitive. I think I’ve more than shown that this theory doesn’t hold up. This is more of an academic exercise.
The big thing to know here is that Kluas’ cases lack headers entirely but that some Klaus cases have notes and it’s these notes attached. It’s only one’s with those notes I’m interested in for this because of how they relate to things we’ve heard. One case is CAT3RBC1567 with the note “tinte”. CAT3RBC1567 is Daria’s case and “tinte” is German for “ink”. So this is very likely that case. There are 4 other cases with that note and they’re two CAT1s, a CAT3, and a CAT13. So even if Daria’s case is misfiled not all of those are the correct CAT# for that assumption. There are also two CAT1s and a CAT2 marked “Herr B”, which is “Mr B” in English. These aren’t tied to a Bonzo case we’ve heard yet but one of them does take place in Bland Theme Park, Somerset. That’s not definitively Bonzo but it’s a good hint at it.
Additionally there are 6 CAT2 cases that have the note “Katzen LOL” or “Cats LOL” which you’d expect to be CAT1s if there are cats involved. In a similar vein there are one CAT1 and five CAT2s marked “Kreigsvolk” which is literally “War People” but more likely “Army” or “Soldiers”. Again, you’d expect more CAT1s if CAT1 is people.
I’m not saying any of the above is the backbone of my reasoning here but these are things that are showing up in the show and they do seem to be pointing the same direction as what I’m saying. Ignoring them entirely I think the theory doesn’t hold up but with them I think it’s very clear.
 

Conclusion

I don’t have much of a wrap up here. Anyone who’s been reading my posts for a while has known that I’ve never thought this theory worked. It’s not something I ever get too deep into because I’m also obviously happy for people to have ideas I disagree with, as am I happy for them to disagree with my ideas. That’s just healthy theorising. I’d been considering writing this for a while though but was mostly held back by not wanting to come across as some sort of arbiter of what is and isn’t correct, and didn’t want to seem like I was calling anyone out specifically. However a few people now said they wanted to see this and there are enough instances of parallel thought on this theory that it’s impossible for me to really single people out now. So here we are.
Just to reiterate for people that did/do believe this theory I don’t think anyone was stupid and/or wrong for thinking it. I hope if the above has convinced you that I’m right about it that you’re not dissuaded from making and sharing future theories. I’ve have 3 or 4 terrible CAT# theories and a few R# theories too. My current ideas on DPHW and R# might be awfully wrong in the long run and that’ll be okay.
That’s me anyway, hope this was at the very least an interesting read if it didn’t manage to be a convincing one. Bonzo! Bonzo!! Bonzo!!!

Hi, I’m bonzos-number-1-fan You might know me from such theories as; "Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre", "What R# Means: The ABCs of Fear" or, "Padlocks, How Do They Even Work?".
I’m back with another essay about this show. Today’s subject is a little different from previous ones. Rather than explaining what I think something in this show is, I’ll be explaining what I think it isn’t. What I’m going to be talking about is the very popular theory that CAT1/2/3 means the supernatural aspect is a Person/Place/Object.
Because I’m talking about other people’s ideas here I do want to start off by saying I understand why this theory is attractive and I don’t think anyone is stupid or anything for believing it. I just personally think there are angles from which it doesn’t work and that the sum of them makes it fairly certain to be untrue. I could be very wrong about that, and my other theories, or I could be very right. I don’t think either scenario matters much. This essay isn’t about being right but about talking about a big thing in the community. I just happen to not believe this one and people have signalled interest in hearing why.
So with all that out of the way I’m going to start by establishing the terminology being used. Then I’ll break down what this theory is positing and follow it up with the ways I think it does and doesn’t work. That’s basically it but with 16 episodes and supplemental material to cover it’s still not going to be terribly short.
Huge thanks to @brettanomycroft for proof reading/editing this madness.

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to and including episode 16.

 

What is a CAT#?

A CAT# is the first 4-5 characters of an OIAR's incident report header. While these are not often referenced in the main body of the show, each incident we hear is accompanied by one in the show's description and transcript. As an example this is the case number for the first incident of episode 1.

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024

Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]

The first line is the case number. CAT1 is this incident's CAT#. The RBC (R#/Rank) and 5257 (DPHW) have been topics I've discussed in essays I linked at the start. The second line is the header and is formatted “Section (Subsection) -/- Crosslink [Format]”. CAT#s is all we're concerning ourselves with today but I will be using this terminology going forward.
Now we know what they look like, what is it we know about them? Well, not much at all. From the show itself we know there are CAT1s, CAT2s, CAT3s and CAT23s. From the Klaus excel sheet that was found as part of the ARG (and can be found here) we also know there are CAT12s and CAT13s. With that information we can say with some certainty that CAT1, CAT2, and CAT3 are non-mutually exclusive groupings. It's very likely not a linear scale of some description—i.e CAT23 isn't between CAT2 and CAT3—because CAT13 doesn't fit such a scale. Which means that where there are two numbers in a CAT# that incident likely fits both groups rather than being a new group. This also strongly implies that an incident could be CAT123 although we have yet to see that demonstrated.
We also know that CAT is short for "Category". In the Klaus sheet these numbers are located in the "Kategorie" column. "Kategorie" being German for "category". This unfortunately doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. CAT#s denote some form of grouping.
There is only one other fact we know about CAT#s and that's this:

ALICE
Right, so, after each entry there's four numbers. That’s the DPHW. So, “dolls comma watching” is… 1157. Then you cross reference with the table here, that would be a 2-C, and then you type that into the box here, along with date of incident if there is one and today’s date.

Which is not a lot to go on at all but it does raise an important question. How is a CAT# assigned? There are two major assumptions you could make here. The first is the “objective method” and that it’s a factor of either the section, subject, DPHW or a combination thereof. This means that they are pre-assigned in the same way that DPHWs are. This method has an inherent trait in that it means every header manifests as the same sort of thing. While it’s not a problem to say that every Doll (Watching) is the same— that could just be the rules of the setting—it does make CAT# itself somewhat redundant. The terminology of the headers will often describe something inherent about the CAT#. We have a CAT3 case that’s Dice (Bone) -/- Fate but dice are objects so why would you need to restate that?
The second is the “subjective method” in which the assessor chooses the CAT# based on the incident itself. The subjective method has a larger assumption built into it in that they know what CAT#s are. They don’t know what DPHW is and have shown no indication of knowing what CAT# is either. So I’d say it’s less likely that CAT#s are subjective rather than objective. However, for the purposes of this essay I will assume that both are as likely to be true as each other and will refer to them both. Different cases show different flaws when one of these is true over the other, so both will get discussed.
 

What is Person/Place/Object?

Person/Place/Object is the theory that the three single digit CAT#s stand for Person, Place, and Object respectively. Combinations of these digits represent that an incident falls into each category. A CAT1 incident indicates that the supernatural element of an incident is a person in some respect, while a CAT23 would indicate both a place and an object.
As I have mentioned this isn’t a theory with a single theorist or origin to point to. As such this theory isn’t a monolith and there is variation in how these categories are presented from theory to theory. Sometimes “Person” is literal and other times it includes any sentient thing, “places” aren’t always strictly physical locations, and the narrative framing of what “objects” are may shift. As such I will be taking the broadest interpretation of these categories as their definitions.
People will include animals and other sentient beings. Places will include metaphysical locations. Objects won’t need to be physical in nature. This is both the fairest I can be to all theories and also the strongest I can make this theory. The broader I can make these definitions, the more different ideas can be represented and the more wiggle room the CAT#s get.
What I’ll do next is run through all the incidents the show has mentioned and explain them as I see it. We’ll start with the ones that fit this theory well because they require little explanation. Then when that’s established we’ll talk about the places I think this theory falls down.
 

Which Incidents fit well?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: There is something like a zombie in this incident. That’s something like a person and so fits well.
CAT1RB4824 Injury (Needles) -/- Intimidation: Needles is definitely a person, no question there.
CAT1RB2275 Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder: Bonzo walks, “talks”, and probably thinks. He’s a person.
CAT1B4728 Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy: Bonzo is still doing that stuff so is still a person.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/-Horde: There was a person and they turned into snakes. Snakes count as people here too. Given the amount of snakes this is the most CAT1 CAT1.
CAT1RB-6451 Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion: Lady M is the most person on this list.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Definitely involves a person doing something supernatural.
 

CAT2:

CAT2C8175 Infection (Full Body) -/- Arboreal: This incident takes place in a time and space bending garden. Makes perfect sense for CAT2.
CAT2RB2377 Disappearance (Undetermined) -/- Invitation: A spooky theatre is a location for sure.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: In this instance the object in question is the tattoo. Which I think is really stretching the definition of “object” but I’m still going to give it to the theory.
CAT3C7494 Collection (Blood) -/- Musical: A magical violin is definitely an object.
CAT3RB3354 Dice (Bone) -/- Fate: Bone dice are inarguably objects.
CAT3RB4622 Gambling (Application) -/- Murder: It’s another stretch to call an app an object but, again, happy to give it to the theory.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RAB2155 Transformation (Eyes) -/- Trespass: In this incident’s case the location is the Magnus Institute and the object is the box RedCanary stole. I think there are some problems with this one but there is enough to get through.
 

Which Incidents Don't?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: You’re not misremembering, I did say this fit well. Because on the surface it really does make sense, but I think if you push just a little it makes very little sense. Why? Because any category you want to place this in is easily justified in the incident itself. There is a zombie-esque thing but also a Frankenstein-esque figure for CAT1. CAT 2 would be the location of the graveyard itself. It was chosen by the presumed creator of this zombie-like creature and is depicted similar to the one in Marked, a CAT23 incident. If this theory is correct and the Marked graveyard is supernatural I can’t see a reason to discount that possibility here. CAT3 fits too because the presumed creation method is that they were Frankenstein-ed which does require some sort of surgical apparatus. But whichever choice you make you’ve not really clarified the incident at all.
This issue is further seen in the methodology of assigning CAT#s.Objectively it has the same problem all objective assignments do. Reanimation implies there is going to be a reanimated person so restating that doesn’t add much. If we look at the subjective method then this is chosen largely at random. There isn’t enough of an indication in this incident to clearly state which CAT this is. So it’s neither helped in the assessment of the incident and doesn’t provide anything for response because all choices are justifiable.
 
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde: Not misremembering here either. There is a problem with this one in that it’s demonstrated to be an infection. This makes the source of the affliction basically unknowable. The source could qualify it for other CATs but the larger issue here is that what CAT1 means here and what it means elsewhere are not that comparable. Needles, Bonzo, and Lady M are all sentient and independent. The afflicted we see in this case are normal people until they get very rapidly sick, summon a portal to the snake dimension in their throats, and die. Which leaves CAT1 translating to “something in the rough shape of a person” which is a really wide range of interpretations. Which is something I feel has little practical utility in either assessing or responding to these incidents.
 
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Still not misremembering. While you can say that Ink5oul or Madame E are the person in this instance there is a major conflict here with CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic. If Daria’s transformation was CAT3 because tattoos are objects then there is no reasonable justification that this isn’t at least CAT13. It’s the same person, doing the same thing, to a very similar result but in a different CAT. The headers are entirely different, and so this/that may be misfiled, but it highlights a problem with Daria’s incident. If the incident with the Tattoo header isn’t an object then tattoos are probably not objects under this scheme.
If this is objective then this is always a person, or on people, which makes a great deal of sense. However if that’s the case then the objective method for Daria’s case sort of falls apart because there wasn’t really a secondary object there. Additionally, because all incidents with that case’s header being objects is a huge stretch. So if this incident, or that incident, is misfiled it doesn’t really matter. In either case (or even if both of them are misfiled), it largely disproves that tattoos are objects, creating a larger issue with that theory as it affects more than just this case. Subjectively as far as we’re aware Sam filed all three of the Ink5oul incidents. So he chose an object in Daria’s case but then opted against it here despite there being no real reason to that we can see. You could say that now Ink5oul has been in it more, he thinks Ink5oul has some sort of supernatural power themselves which makes them a CAT1; that would still make this CAT13 as episode 11 was CAT23.
 

CAT2:

CAT2RC1157 Dolls (Watching): This is a big one in my opinion. It’s not only the first incident we’re told about, but it's both Sam’s and our first exposure to an explanation of the OIAR’s filing system. It’s also one I see ignored in most of the posts that posit the Person/Place/Object theory. That is understandable as we don’t hear the incident itself but we do hear enough of it to show that there is a flaw in the theory.
What we hear about this incident is entirely focused on the doll itself and questions about its nature. It’s a split between Dolls (Watching) and Dolls (Human Skin) with the former being chosen as the latter is only implied. Dolls themselves are objects which would make this CAT3, and if the doll is sentient a CAT1. However, this is placed in CAT2 indicating that it's actually caused by the location in some respect. In order for that to make sense you have to make 3 major assumptions. Assumption 1: despite no indication in the conversation about this incident suggesting anything outside of the doll being strange there was actually a “haunted house”. Assumption 2: despite there being sections far more descriptive of locations—i.e Architecture—Dolls is more suited to this incident. Assumption 3: despite this being Sam’s/the audience’s first exposure to this system it leaves out the real source of the incident when, narratively, this is an explanation of it. Those are some fairly major assumptions to make to justify a theory.
This also has issues with either method of assigning CAT#s. If CAT# is objective then every Dolls (Watching) is actually a location. Unlike with something like Reanimation (Partial) that doesn't make much sense as dolls themselves are objects. In the subjective method, Alice assigned this as a location but their discussion of it centred solely on an object and she didn't explain to Sam why she did it.
 
CAT2RC3338 Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation: This might be my favourite example of issues I have with this theory. To explain it we’ll look at this from both the objective and subjective methods while taking into account outside knowledge of the show from an audience perspective.
Everyone I’ve seen posit this theory attributes CAT2 to Hilltop here.They do this solely because of TMA. There is nothing in this episode that makes Hilltop out to be anything special in any way. But because Hilltop is special in TMA the audience is primed to view this location as special. It may very well be but there is no reason to think that. In fact, I’d argue there's reason to think otherwise based on this episode, but that is a little off topic for this essay. However from an objective perspective it can’t take Hilltop into account because not every header of this sort will take place in Hilltop. They could only manifest at special locations but that seems like a stretch. If it is true, why does this unique combination of words not include a word that describes it as a location? Subjectively it could be a misfile. Celia would be the only person who knows what Hilltop is in TMA— assuming some of the theories on her are correct—but that doesn’t make Hilltop important in and of itself. It also means she ignored large parts of this incident when filing it just to focus on that element. As this case is the one Alice uses to teach Celia the system with, then this also relies on Alice knowing or not correcting Celia. In either scenario this case is full of people of definite supernatural quality, lacks a location of supernatural quality, but has 100s of objects of dubious supernatural quality. Something doesn’t make sense here if this theory is correct.
 
CAT2RBC3366 Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger: This one is interesting because it shows a flaw not in the theory per se but in the methodology as a whole if the theory is correct. If CAT# is what the theory says it is why is this just CAT2? It being CAT2 at all is redundant when its header describes a location but in this incident we see it’s populated by supernatural creatures. I call them Uncannybals—as should you—and they’re monsters living in the shadow realm. That seems like very important information to include. So it should be CAT12 as there are both people and a place. The OIAR methodology already has the problem that you can’t include multiple headers but CAT#s, if they worked like this, could be used to alleviate that issue. The way it’s implemented here just makes it virtually pointless to include at all.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: This was largely already covered. So simply put if Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic is an object because of the tattoo, and Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion is an object because of the tattoo, but Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac isn’t an object despite being virtually identical to this case then CAT3 doesn't mean object.
The method problems are the same as above too. Now this case is the one most likely of the three to be misfiled. So you could say that Daria's case is misfiled and would actually be CAT1 if filed correctly. Tattoos aren’t objects, this case is a mistake. Then you could explain that Marked is CAT23 because corpses are objects (so 13 if he was alive). Objectively this header always being CAT3 still poses problems because we know there are Transformations that don’t require objects. Which brings us back to the problem of “why are the headers so bad at describing these things?”. If it’s subjective Sam decided that object instead of person made more sense here. Seemingly based on the fact that there is a tattoo. Later on he changed his mind about this but choosing it in the first place seems like a stretch. If he knew what these things meant in order to choose them, object seems like a very unobvious choice.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RC5246 Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion: This one is fairly clear to me. I’m going to be very generous and suggest that the corpse here is the object based on the above. The reason this one is a problem is that there wasn’t a location here. I’ve seen people say that it must be the graveyard but that’s confirmation bias IMO. It wasn’t a large feature of the episode, didn’t do anything coastal graveyards don’t do, and had no overt supernatural properties to it. I don’t personally think anyone would categorise this as CAT23 based on the incident alone but because CAT23 people will justify it to fit. That’s not inherently a problem because sometimes you have to make assumptions but given all of the above I don’t think that assumption is a reasonable one to make.
Objectively all compelling corpse tattoos are found in magical graveyards—or morgues, tombs, goth bars, and other corpse hangouts—and I think we can all agree that’s sort of wack. Subjectively Sam decided the graveyard was magic despite there being nothing to suggest that.
 

Klaus’ CAT#s:

This is a bit of a special section. I briefly mention Klaus in the intro but I didn’t mention that some of the incidents we’ve heard have been found on the Klaus sheet. The canonicity of these aren’t 100% and I would say the show takes precedent so this is supplemental rather than definitive. I think I’ve more than shown that this theory doesn’t hold up. This is more of an academic exercise.
The big thing to know here is that Kluas’ cases lack headers entirely but that some Klaus cases have notes and it’s these notes attached. It’s only one’s with those notes I’m interested in for this because of how they relate to things we’ve heard. One case is CAT3RBC1567 with the note “tinte”. CAT3RBC1567 is Daria’s case and “tinte” is German for “ink”. So this is very likely that case. There are 4 other cases with that note and they’re two CAT1s, a CAT3, and a CAT13. So even if Daria’s case is misfiled not all of those are the correct CAT# for that assumption. There are also two CAT1s and a CAT2 marked “Herr B”, which is “Mr B” in English. These aren’t tied to a Bonzo case we’ve heard yet but one of them does take place in Bland Theme Park, Somerset. That’s not definitively Bonzo but it’s a good hint at it.
Additionally there are 6 CAT2 cases that have the note “Katzen LOL” or “Cats LOL” which you’d expect to be CAT1s if there are cats involved. In a similar vein there are one CAT1 and five CAT2s marked “Kreigsvolk” which is literally “War People” but more likely “Army” or “Soldiers”. Again, you’d expect more CAT1s if CAT1 is people.
I’m not saying any of the above is the backbone of my reasoning here but these are things that are showing up in the show and they do seem to be pointing the same direction as what I’m saying. Ignoring them entirely I think the theory doesn’t hold up but with them I think it’s very clear.
 

Conclusion

I don’t have much of a wrap up here. Anyone who’s been reading my posts for a while has known that I’ve never thought this theory worked. It’s not something I ever get too deep into because I’m also obviously happy for people to have ideas I disagree with, as am I happy for them to disagree with my ideas. That’s just healthy theorising. I’d been considering writing this for a while though but was mostly held back by not wanting to come across as some sort of arbiter of what is and isn’t correct, and didn’t want to seem like I was calling anyone out specifically. However a few people now said they wanted to see this and there are enough instances of parallel thought on this theory that it’s impossible for me to really single people out now. So here we are.
Just to reiterate for people that did/do believe this theory I don’t think anyone was stupid and/or wrong for thinking it. I hope if the above has convinced you that I’m right about it that you’re not dissuaded from making and sharing future theories. I’ve have 3 or 4 terrible CAT# theories and a few R# theories too. My current ideas on DPHW and R# might be awfully wrong in the long run and that’ll be okay.
That’s me anyway, hope this was at the very least an interesting read if it didn’t manage to be a convincing one. Bonzo! Bonzo!! Bonzo!!!

Hello GoG,
I would like to take this opportunity to request Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth! at -30% off.
If there are 3 things the Yakuza/Like a Dragon developers know how to do:

• 1) It's how to make a compelling narrative.
• 2) Make an astonishing amount of mini-games and silly side-content.
• 3) Somehow manage to refine their combat system even further.

Of course, I did have a fantastic time with Yakuza 0 a few years back. I grew to love the Kamurocho district. It's a densely packed and pleasantly detailed location. So, Hawaii will be an entirely new experience.

• GIF: Absolute style, once again.

Having experience with Yakuza 0 and watching multiple playthroughs of Like a Dragon, you can easily tell there is a tremendous amount of heart and care put into these titles. It did take a little bit to adjust to Ichiban as the new protagonist going forward, but with the change in story direction, the new turn-based combat style and even the location, I found the Like a Dragon series to be heading in a very promising direction.
This time we're going to Hawaii! Expanding to a much larger map and having a plethora of new and old mini-games that we all love and adore. There's blackjack, card games, mahjong, uber eats delivery service (?), sujimon manager simulator, (Totally not Pokemon with real people, I swear.) dating adventures, photography, a whole island management game that is basically Animal Crossing. I haven't even scratched the surface, there is a tremendous amount of content and I don't think the human body can sustain that much sensory stimulation. That's a good thing. Like a Dragon is a marathon, not a sprint, and it is meant to be enjoyed.

• GIF: Who knew that delivery service could be so intense?

Ichiban is a delightful new protagonist and serves as a great foil to Kiryu. They have their common ground, but their personalities create room for interesting interactions with other characters. I'm very fond of Ichiban's sincerity and passion. He is the heart of the party, I love him!
I know Kiryu is the face of the Yakuza series, but passing the torch to Ichiban in Like a Dragon opened up so much more room to experiment with different character archetypes. Like a Dragon took a different approach to the beat-em-up combat in favor of a surprisingly good turn-based combat system that still feels visceral and interesting. It's also a visual treat since everything is so well-animated while also being hilarious and brutal, depending on your actions.

• GIF: It's great to see Kiryu and Ichiban working together. At karaoke, of course.

I very much appreciate having an older cast of characters for the main party. It's a nice break to have characters who have a solid grasp on their own identity while grappling with deep-seated flaws from their sheer life experience.
The entire Ichiban crew is odd and interesting. Saeko is a particular favorite of mine. (Don't mess with the bartender.)
The "job" system is great for combat and comedy, and I'm really curious about the direction of the plot. The Yakuza/Like a Dragon series always managed to balance the line between serious, interpersonal crime drama and the absurd shenanigans in the side quests. It's a great palette cleanser if you're in the mood for drama, heartfelt side stories, or silly antics.

• GIF: Absurdity at it's finest.

I really hope they kept the "summoning" system in the sequel because it equates to you phoning up a friend to call them into battle. It seems like they did! Because I miss that crawfish, Nancy, she's great.
The characters in the party really make up the heart of the story. I can't think of a single character that I didn't like in Like a Dragon. So, I'm really curious to see any new additions and how everyone interacts with one another.

• GIF: I need context for this.

I mean, the established crew is delightful:

• Ichiban is NUMBER ONE! No, seriously, it's in his name. Our delusional protagonist with the biggest heart is the most versatile character. Sure, everyone in the party can have their jobs changed, but it feels fitting that Ichiban can fulfill any role as he discovers more about himself in his personal journey. Or, at least, that's my interpretation.
  
• Nanba is your cynical homeless best friend who can wield the power of pigeons. He's basically the healer or wizard of the party.
  
• Adachi is the voice of reason. Your connection to reality and the gruff dad of the team. He fulfills the role of the tank by getting way too hands-on with his riot gear.
  
• Saeko (MY FAVORITE!) is the no-nonsense, sane person who happens to be a heavy-drinker. (Around this group, can you blame her?) She gets annoyed easily, but she's probably the most "normal" individual here. She's the debuffer by being an excellent barmaid in combat, or she makes a great healer with the power of...cheer and motivation...through the Idol job?
  
• Joongi Han. Well, I can't say too much about him. But he's cool and the assassin of the party.
  
• Zhao is a mysterious one. Principled, but a schemer. I'd say he would be the fighter of the party.
  
• Eri! Our special secret party member. She's an office lady who uses office supplies like a ninja. No, seriously, she'll strangle you with a lanyard, use thumbtacks as floor spikes, or she can cloak herself by stomping on a bag of flour to create a smokescreen. It's ridiculous, she's great!
  

Like a Dragon had a great soundtrack and a fantastic performance from the cast, both motion capture and vocal work. I was certainly invested, and I'm definitely curious to see where Infinite Wealth goes!
In terms of content, it's enormous, which is a delight in a single-player game. So, you certainly won't be wasting your time if you want to get invested in that world.
I'm really curious to see where it goes from here. So much happened in the prior game to establish the origins of the new cast and introduce their own development over the course of the game. So, I'm very interested to see how they develop and grow from this point forward.
As you can tell, I'm very much in it for the narrative. As serious, thrilling and silly as it can be.
It really is the complete package.
Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth
Steam Profile

If you don't like walls of texts there's a TLDR below
I hope some of you get to read some of this, before it might get deleted. It can help you understand things.
I want to freshen the air a bit and hopefully untie some knots ppl are hung up on. I will not mince my words and feel like I need to vent a bit. I might answer questions as good as my autodidact ass can answer. Since I haven't read much leftist theory. I've only read The State and Revolution by Lenin, once. It's better to ask infinitely more knowledgeable ppl within the leftist movement.
So let's get to the "drama":
I'm superior to Destiny when it comes to being an autodidact. I'm morally, historically, rhetorically and logically superior due to the fact of, luck. The luck is that I was born in a Nordic country, so when I had my moral failings, society helped me through it, it gave me time to really analyze myself and society. One thing he has over me definitely is *debate* - EDITED DUE TO FRAGILE SENSIBILITIES - I meant "LIVE debate".
Anways, at every step of the way when met with an obstacle of moral nature, I stopped and self corrected. Meanwhile Destiny never truly internalized his failures to learn from it, he's such a stubborn and morally bankrupt asshole and deserve to be in the same trash heap of history (forgotten) as capitalism, the peak of immorality.
Capitalism's current torchbearer, the US, is history's most evil country. Just because it doesn't have as many internal governmental problems as other dogshit countries, doesn't give it a pass on things like exporting death and destruction. In total suffering and deaths, nothing compares to global neoliberal capitalism, how many ppl die again every year, due to starvation? That alone, kills so many.
So I don't hate the asshole as an individual, but I do despise the person he's become and his rotten ideas which he spreads to some of you little gremlins in here.
Maybe you'll understand my thought process more from this other angle. Let's think of the 2 big quotients of human intelligence. He might have a high IQ but it's balanced out by his EQ or EI being 100s of points in the negatives. This is what happens when you don't self correct bad behavior. This is not a balanced person and other sane ppl in the real world can see it clearly, can you?
His lack of understanding of concepts on a macro scale, again due to American education, is embarrassing. He keeps saying one has to debate him in which socioeconomic system is better and that's what everyone wants according to him. But Hasan doesn't have to and that fact makes him so mad. Doesn't Destiny understand there's 3 different types of rhetoric? Has he read any fucking thing, like Aristotle? There's logos, pathos and ethos, not everyone "debates" all the time, he just hates that hasan doesn't use "logos" a lot. Logic doesn't mean truth. Also the general population vibes with "aesthetics", and that's more of Hasan's angle because it's the fucking zeitgeist. That's why he's able to convince ppl.
Let's go through some of the other recent "drama" he's had with hasan

1. Crackergate: I will dismantle it with one sentence. The etymology of both words have no equal and someone that has basic understanding of history would know this.
2. Genocide: He doesn't understand the basic concept that morality trumps over law but with the caveat that it depends on what society or part of it thinks, after filtering through someone's moral arguments. If your morality is sound, people will listen. And if such a person's morality extends beyond current law on a subject, it will be deliberated faster among a part of civil population, it will take more time on a judicial level, understandably. Franscesca Albanese is one such a person and we feel it is sound, you have to prove it isn't. Saying there's no genocidal intent doesn't disprove anything, especially when there's several instances of it. Calling them animals, cutting off their supplies, threatening a second Nakba etc is proof on our side, which ppl like Destiny deny is intent ofc. Imagine being negatively polarized by a dumb influencer like Hasan, into defending genocide? That's just sad. So that he can't see why it's a genocide is a moral failing. I wouldn't call him sociopath but maybe "sociopath-lite"

Personally what lit a fire in me recently, and negatively polarized me further away from the right and towards the left, to a degree never before, was when all the ziofascists and other right wingers really loved to run the propaganda that Hamas is wrong with the numbers. Just because the UN decided to separate numbers between identified and unidentified bodies. How the fuck do you identity someone when there's only a foot left? Is it so hard to imagine why they couldn't be identified. It was instantly "Hamas lied" and it showed their bias. If one knows the history of the Hamas run health ministry. Things like UN finding out it's often an undercount due to how fragile their institutions are. Now that everything is bombed it's even harder to count, you know? Now I don't believe Ralph Nader's numbers, but he has been open about saying that up to 200k ppl could've been killed so far.
So stop being edgy, grow up and join the broader leftist movement in fighting against war hawks and the like. Everyone deserves a good life (even destiny) and nobody should die in unneccesary wars or conflicts. Btw Americans, not to fearmonger but doesn't it honestly feel like your country is on the brink of something, maybe either collapse or a fucking civil war, I'd hate to see workers fight amongst eachother.
Make it easy for yourselves. You belong in the majority, your fucked up leaders are the minority. Take down ppl like Matthew Miller, that Dracula looking ass state department spokesperson, from his position. He defends murdering families and gets paid for it. Meanwhile he smirks with that shit eating grin, while you work your ass off day in and day out, not knowing what to do, to change things.
Find the nearest group that dabbles in leftism, Parliamentarism is over, whether you like either trump or biden.. neither of them really cares about you. They only care about profit. You will at some point want to defend something and their police state will be ready to crack down on you.
Sidenotes: I want to cover the topic of white supremacy from another angle, hopefully it makes you think on it a bit.
So I've heard this be brought up enough, so I thought it's good to cover it.
The argument of [insert other ethnic group other than "whites"] using slavery over other groups is such stupid systemic analysis. There's enough time gap that there's no logic to it, especially if one tries to monolithically make a connection between a certain race, across history. The bigger the time gap the less logical sense it makes. There's a reason why we speak so much about white supremacy, the time gap is short and it's still in effect.
This can also be translated to Israel's modern founding. There's enough time gap that they have no justifiable claim on that land. 1000s of years ago? So? They should suck it up, it's also what their holy book say. Or they could retry without the colonialism part. Do you think sane ppl will wait x amount of time for the genocidal ziofascists to be able to make the same claim over the land? Like bro, come on..
TLDR: Don't abandon leftism. If you don't really care, the least you can do is read some stuff. I for example have only read Lenin's "State and revolution", it can help some. Read it so you can ask leftist theory nerds about context and why you don't like some parts.
I also have to say it's not the leftists that are radical, sure some of them are directionless and lash out in a bad way, but I probably can't change your mind on that. But have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, capitalism is radical? It's radically committing a genocide rn. Radically starving ppl worldwide. Radically only focused on profit, fuck the people that create that profit, right? How does this make sense? It's not radical to want to undo that.

I am just going to copy and paste the email that I sent over to the insurance company AIG because it gives a overview of the situation.
Hello,
I am writing to express my deep dissatisfaction with the service I have received from AIG regarding my ongoing claim. It has been nearly two months since I initiated this claim, and I am frustrated by the lack of resolution and the repeated miscommunication I have encountered between your customer service team and Apple's support.
My claim was denied because, according to your records, the "Find My iPhone" feature was turned off on June 19th, 2023. However, my phone was purchased on October 22nd, 2023 and coverage subsequently on August 4th, 2024, making this assertion logically impossible. I have received confirmation from Apple several times that "Find My iPhone" has been enabled since the purchase date, and they have conveyed this information to your customer service team multiple times. Despite this, I have been told that I must provide additional proof from Apple, which Apple is unable to supply.
I even had an Apple representative speak directly with one of your customer service agents to confirm that Apple cannot provide a document proving that "Find My iPhone" is enabled, yet this did not resolve the issue. I find this level of disorganization and lack of support completely unacceptable.
I urge you to take immediate action to resolve this claim. I have provided all the evidence required to prove that my phone's "Find My iPhone" feature was enabled up until it was stolen. If I do not receive a satisfactory response promptly, I will have no choice but to consider legal action or escalate this matter to the California Department of Insurance.
Furthermore, I am requesting a phone number for a claims adjuster to address any additional concerns that may arise. I believe this is a fair and reasonable request given the circumstances.
Please treat this matter with the urgency it deserves and provide me with a clear path to resolving my claim. I look forward to your prompt response.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
They pretty much told me to fuck off. The only email I have received back from the claims department was just a screenshot from apple telling them the same information. Ive been ripping my hair out for three fucking months now they take a minimum of 4 days to reply via email and keep giving me the same information. The call center I am assuming is offshore and they are no help. They keep telling me that only the claims department can help but of course they have no phone number. I'm running out of options here I have no clue what to do I still owe 1k on this stupid phone and really don't feel like shelling out another one especially after paying for this useless fucking service that should have covered me. I literally sent them all the evidence that the last time my phone pinged its location was the date but still nothing it is driving me insane. Is this something I would be able to take to small claims court? I'm not sure its worth the trouble but its so hard to just walk away knowing that I am 100% right and it must just be a glitch in they're system but either someone is too lazy to deal with it or they just don't give a shit. I have never dealt with legal stuff before but small claims seems pretty straightforward. Not sure if anyone has any experience or knowledge about this kind of thing but anything helps!!!

Here are all of the relevant keywords/abbreviations for the CompTIA sec+ exam.
Comment below if you have any questions, if I made a mistake, or if I missed something!
AAA: Authentication, Authorization, and Accounting ABAC: Attribute-Based Access Control ACL: Access Control List AD: Active Directory AES: Advanced Encryption Standard AES256: Advanced Encryption Standard with a key size of 256 bits AH: Authentication Header AI: Artificial Intelligence AIS: Automated Information System ALE: Annual Loss Expectancy AP: Access Point API: Application Programming Interface APT: Advanced Persistent Threat ARO: Annualized Rate of Occurrence ARP: Address Resolution Protocol ASLR: Address Space Layout Randomization ASP: Application Service Provider ATT&CK: Adversarial Tactics, Techniques, and Common Knowledge AUP: Acceptable Use Policy AV: Antivirus BASH: Bourne Again Shell BCP: Business Continuity Plan BGP: Border Gateway Protocol BIA: Business Impact Analysis BIOS: Basic Input/Output System BPA: Business Process Automation BPDU: Bridge Protocol Data Unit BSSID: Basic Service Set Identifier BYOD: Bring Your Own Device CA: Certificate Authority CAPTCHA: Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart CAR: Corrective Action Report CASB: Cloud Access Security Broker CBC: Cipher Block Chaining CBT: Computer-Based Training CCMP: Counter Mode with Cipher Block Chaining Message Authentication Code Protocol CCTV: Closed-Circuit Television CERT: Computer Emergency Response Team CFB: Cipher Feedback CHAP: Challenge-Handshake Authentication Protocol CIO: Chief Information Officer CIRT: Computer Incident Response Team CIS: Center for Internet Security CMS: Content Management System CN: Common Name COOP: Continuity of Operations COPE: Corporate-Owned, Personally-Enabled CP: Control Plane CRC: Cyclic Redundancy Check CRL: Certificate Revocation List CSA: Cloud Security Alliance CSIRT: Computer Security Incident Response Team CSO: Chief Security Officer CSP: Cloud Service Provider CSR: Certificate Signing Request CSRF: Cross-Site Request Forgery CSU: Central Service Unit CTM: Content Threat Management CTO: Chief Technology Officer CVE: Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures CVSS: Common Vulnerability Scoring System CYOD: Choose Your Own Device DAC: Discretionary Access Control DBA: Database Administrator DDoS: Distributed Denial of Service DEP: Data Execution Prevention DER: Distinguished Encoding Rules DES: Data Encryption Standard DHCP: Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol DHE: Diffie-Hellman Ephemeral DKIM: DomainKeys Identified Mail DLL: Dynamic Link Library DLP: Data Loss Prevention DMARC: Domain-based Message Authentication, Reporting, and Conformance DNT: Do Not Track DNS: Domain Name System DNSSEC: Domain Name System Security Extensions DoS: Denial of Service DPO: Data Protection Officer DRP: Disaster Recovery Plan DSA: Digital Signature Algorithm DSL: Digital Subscriber Line EAP: Extensible Authentication Protocol ECB: Electronic Codebook ECC: Elliptic Curve Cryptography ECDHE: Elliptic Curve Diffie-Hellman Ephemeral ECDSA: Elliptic Curve Digital Signature Algorithm EDR: Endpoint Detection and Response EFS: Encrypting File System EIP: Enterprise Information Portal EOL: End of Life EOS: End of Support ERP: Enterprise Resource Planning ESN: Electronic Serial Number ESP: Encapsulating Security Payload ESSID: Extended Service Set Identifier FACL: File Access Control List FDE: Full Disk Encryption FIM: File Integrity Monitoring FPGA: Field-Programmable Gate Array FRR: Fast Reroute FTP: File Transfer Protocol FTPS: FTP Secure GCM: Galois/Counter Mode GDPR: General Data Protection Regulation GPG: GNU Privacy Guard GPO: Group Policy Object GPS: Global Positioning System GPU: Graphics Processing Unit GRE: Generic Routing Encapsulation HA: High Availability HDD: Hard Disk Drive HIDS: Host-based Intrusion Detection System HIPS: Host-based Intrusion Prevention System HMAC: Keyed-Hash Message Authentication Code HOTP: HMAC-based One-Time Password HSM: Hardware Security Module HSMaaS: Hardware Security Module as a Service HTML: Hypertext Markup Language HTTP: Hypertext Transfer Protocol HTTPS: Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure HVAC: Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning IaaS: Infrastructure as a Service IAM: Identity and Access Management ICMP: Internet Control Message Protocol ICS: Industrial Control System IDEA: International Data Encryption Algorithm IDF: Intermediate Distribution Frame IdP: Identity Provider IDS: Intrusion Detection System IPS: Intrusion Prevention System IEEE: Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers IKE: Internet Key Exchange IM: Instant Messaging IMAP4: Internet Message Access Protocol version 4 IoC: Indicator of Compromise IoT: Internet of Things IP: Internet Protocol IPSec: Internet Protocol Security IR: Incident Response IRC: Internet Relay Chat IRP: Incident Response Plan ISA: Interconnection Security Agreement ISFW: Integrated Security and Firewalls ISO: International Organization for Standardization ISP: Internet Service Provider ISSO: Information Systems Security Officer ITCP: Information Technology Contingency Plan IV: Initialization Vector KDC: Key Distribution Center KEK: Key Encryption Key L2TP: Layer 2 Tunneling Protocol LAN: Local Area Network LDAP: Lightweight Directory Access Protocol LEAP: Lightweight Extensible Authentication Protocol MaaS: Monitoring as a Service MAC: Media Access Control MAM: Mobile Application Management MAN: Metropolitan Area Network MBR: Master Boot Record MD5: Message Digest Algorithm 5 MDF: Main Distribution Frame MDM: Mobile Device Management MFA: Multi-Factor Authentication MFD: Multi-Function Device MFP: Multi-Function Printer ML: Machine Learning MMS: Multimedia Messaging Service MOA: Memorandum of Agreement MOU: Memorandum of Understanding MPLS: Multiprotocol Label Switching MSA: Master Service Agreement MSP: Managed Service Provider MSSP: Managed Security Service Provider MTBF: Mean Time Between Failures MTTF: Mean Time To Failure MTTR: Mean Time To Repair MTU: Maximum Transmission Unit NAC: Network Access Control NAT: Network Address Translation NDA: Non-Disclosure Agreement NFC: Near Field Communication NFV: Network Functions Virtualization NGFW: Next-Generation Firewall NG-SWG: Next-Generation Secure Web Gateway NIC: Network Interface Card NIDS: Network Intrusion Detection System NIPS: Network Intrusion Prevention System NIST: National Institute of Standards and Technology NOC: Network Operations Center NTFS: New Technology File System NTLM: New Technology LAN Manager NTP: Network Time Protocol OCSP: Online Certificate Status Protocol OID: Object Identifier OS: Operating System OAI: OpenID Authentication OSINT: Open Source Intelligence OSPF: Open Shortest Path First OT: Operational Technology OTA: Over-the-Air OTG: On-The-Go OVAL: Open Vulnerability and Assessment Language OWASP: Open Web Application Security Project P12: Personal Information Exchange Format P2P: Peer-to-Peer PaaS: Platform as a Service PAC: Proxy Auto-Configuration PAM: Privileged Access Management PAP: Password Authentication Protocol PAT: Port Address Translation PBKDF2: Password-Based Key Derivation Function 2 PBX: Private Branch Exchange PCAP: Packet Capture PCI DSS: Payment Card Industry Data Security Standard PDU: Protocol Data Unit PE: Protected Extensible Authentication Protocol PEAP: Protected Extensible Authentication Protocol PED: Portable Electronic Device PEM: Privacy Enhanced Mail PFS: Perfect Forward Secrecy PGP: Pretty Good Privacy PHI: Protected Health Information PII: Personally Identifiable Information PIN: Personal Identification Number PIV: Personal Identity Verification PKCS: Public Key Cryptography Standards PKI: Public Key Infrastructure PoC: Proof of Concept POP: Post Office Protocol POTS: Plain Old Telephone Service PPP: Point-to-Point Protocol PPTP: Point-to-Point Tunneling Protocol PSK: Pre-Shared Key PTZ: Pan-Tilt-Zoom PUP: Potentially Unwanted Program QA: Quality Assurance QoS: Quality of Service RA: Recovery Agent RAD: Rapid Application Development RADIUS: Remote Authentication Dial-In User Service RAID: Redundant Array of Independent Disks RAM: Random Access Memory RAS: Remote Access Service RAT: Remote Access Trojan RC4: Rivest Cipher 4 RCS: Remote Control System RFC: Request for Comments RFID: Radio-Frequency Identification RIPEMD: RACE Integrity Primitives Evaluation Message Digest ROI: Return on Investment RPO: Recovery Point Objective RSA: Rivest-Shamir-Adleman RTBH: Remote Triggered Black Hole RTO: Recovery Time Objective RTOS: Real-Time Operating System RTP: Real-Time Transport Protocol S/MIME: Secure/Multipurpose Internet Mail Extensions SaaS: Software as a Service SAE: Simultaneous Authentication of Equals SAML: Security Assertion Markup Language SCADA: Supervisory Control and Data Acquisition SCAP: Security Content Automation Protocol SCEP: Simple Certificate Enrollment Protocol SDK: Software Development Kit SDLC: Software Development Life Cycle SDLM: Software Development Lifecycle Management SDN: Software-Defined Networking SDP: Session Description Protocol SDV: Software-Defined Vehicle SED: Self-Encrypting Drive SEH: Structured Exception Handler SFTP: Secure File Transfer Protocol SHA: Secure Hash Algorithm SIEM: Security Information and Event Management SIM: Subscriber Identity Module SIP: Session Initiation Protocol SLA: Service Level Agreement SLE: Single Loss Expectancy SMB: Server Message Block SMS: Short Message Service SMTP/S: Simple Mail Transfer Protocol/Secure SNMP: Simple Network Management Protocol SOAP: Simple Object Access Protocol SOAR: Security Orchestration, Automation, and Response SoC: Security Operations Center SOC: System-On-Chip SPF: Sender Policy Framework SPIM: Spam Over Instant Messaging SQL: Structured Query Language SQLi: SQL Injection SRTP: Secure Real-Time Transport Protocol SSD: Solid-State Drive SSH: Secure Shell SSID: Service Set Identifier SSL: Secure Sockets Layer SSO: Single Sign-On STIX: Structured Threat Information eXpression STP: Spanning Tree Protocol SWG: Secure Web Gateway TACACS+: Terminal Access Controller Access-Control System Plus TGT: Ticket Granting Ticket TKIP: Temporal Key Integrity Protocol TLS: Transport Layer Security TOTP: Time-Based One-Time Password TPM: Trusted Platform Module TSIG: Transaction Signature TTP: Tactics, Techniques, and Procedures UAT: User Acceptance Testing UDP: User Datagram Protocol UEBA: User and Entity Behavior Analytics UEFI: Unified Extensible Firmware Interface UEM: Unified Endpoint Management UPS: Uninterruptible Power Supply URI: Uniform Resource Identifier URL: Uniform Resource Locator USB: Universal Serial Bus USB OTG: USB On-The-Go UTM: Unified Threat Management UTP: Unshielded Twisted Pair VBA: Visual Basic for Applications VDE: Virtual Desktop Environment VDI: Virtual Desktop Infrastructure VLAN: Virtual Local Area Network VLSM: Variable Length Subnet Masking VM: Virtual Machine VoIP: Voice over Internet Protocol VPC: Virtual Private Cloud VPN: Virtual Private Network VTC: Video Teleconferencing WAF: Web Application Firewall WAP: Wireless Access Point WEP: Wired Equivalent Privacy WIDS: Wireless Intrusion Detection System WIPS: Wireless Intrusion Prevention System WORM: Write Once, Read Many WPA: Wi-Fi Protected Access WPS: Wi-Fi Protected Setup XaaS: Anything as a Service XSRF: Cross-Site Request Forgery

I've had T-Mobile for over a decade on a business plan. For the past year and some, I've been having this issue where I often simply don't get reception, including where I live, near the downtown of a major city. This has happened on a brand new Pixel 6 and it's now happening on a brand new iPhone 15 Pro. I was recently in the sticks and was thinking that the rural geography was to blame, but other folks I was with were getting at least a few bars (on the same phones).
Every time I call, T-Mobile's tech support fumbles to tell me that they've opened an engineering support ticket and someone will be calling me back in the next few days (this has happened once a month for the past year, at least, and no one has ever called me back-- not even exaggerating). I have found a few posts across these interwebs that hint at the idea that there's some sort of weird network issue that might be attached to my account but not to my phone, and that this might be resolved by resetting network settings (narrator voice: this did not fix the problem). I have had my phone number since 2006 and I have had this T-Mobile account since 2012-13, so it's possible that there's some weird legacy issue that is somehow attached to my phone or SIM, but I can't make sense of what might actually be going on.
I do not feel as though there is a way to reach a real human who wants to make this issue anything less than an extremely low priority and every time they tell me something different. Any ideas of what might be going on?

Several years ago, my BP cheated on me, physically with one person (a drunken one night stand) and an emotional affair with person (a "friend" I always had bad feelings about - texting inappropriate pics, sharing loving feelings with each other and talking badly about me). This was only a few months into us dating, but I didnt find out until 2 and a half years and moving in together. They were extremely remorseful, claimed they were planning on telling me, and ultimately did everything right as far as helping me heal and reconcile. I felt like it took about 2-3 months for me to decide I was ready to forgive and move on. But I did. I mean, I never really forgot it, and still would look at the both of the AP's social media accts and would compare myself to them constantly. But overall, I felt like we were in a good place after a few months and really did come out stronger. My trust in them was restored and we were good. We got engaged, got married, bought a new house. We were truly happy.
About 2 and a half months ago I had an emotional affair, texting and talking on the phone, with an old friend who lives in another state, that lasted a little under two weeks. This friend and I did share a history of hooking up, but this was years ago when we were teens/early 20's. They had reached out kind of out of nowhere, to tell me their marriage was on the rocks. I expressed sympathy and offered support. Then they went on to tell me they have always been in love with me, for 22 years. I was taken aback. In hindsight, I wish so badly I had just shown my spouse this text right away. But I stupidly thought I could just handle it on my own and avoid making them uncomfortable (again...huge regret). Anyway, I told them that I cared deeply for them, but that I was happily married and boundaries needed to be respected. They agreed. We continued to text, at first just innocent things about what we had been up to over the past few years since we last saw each other. Then they told me they had made a suicide attempt recently. This scared and upset me, so I went on to tell them how much I loved them. They then told me I "saved their life" by telling them this, because they had been in such a bad place. The texts just got out of control after that. I am not saying that to act like I had no control. I know I did. But I started to feel feelings for them (or I thought I did) and honestly, was eating up the ego boost they were giving me. Messed up, I know. I have serious insecurities and vulnerability when it comes to people from my past. Again, no excuse. Anyway, eventually it lead to us being really inappropriate, talking about our past sexual moments with each other, how much we wanted to see eachother, how great it would be, etc. I sent them a picture of me, no nudity, but definitely suggestive.
Shortly after that, the guilt consumed me, I blocked their number, and I confessed to my spouse. I admittedly trickle truthed at first, saying it was all the AP, but as the conversation went on, I admitted I also reciprocated, told them I loved them, talked about sex, and sent them a photo of me. Spouse was of course pissed and devastated.
The NEXT day, AP's spouse texted me. They said they knew all along. AP had been deleting our texts, but they still saw everything on their phone records. Shockingly, they werent flipping out on me. They actually said that their marriage was terrible for years, that this was mild compared to other things AP had done, and this was finally their "out". They actually even thanked me. But of course, also said this was real disgusting of both of us. They said that they could have reached out to my spouse several times but didn't. They said they had possession of Ap's phone (including the picture), and that everything they had would be destroyed after their divorce was final. They also told me that AP manipulated me (that they use threats of suicide all the time), and that even though I was wrong too, it was AP "who sunk their claws into me". They told me to show my spouse what they were saying so that maybe it would help. I did, and it did help a little bit. They also said they believe I am a good person. All of this was a relief to hear, even though I didnt feel deserving of such grace. They said that I could give my spouse their number if they ever needed to vent, but that they wouldnt pull up the facts they had because that is not helpful or healthy. Spouse didnt want to do that. All of my texts with them had already been deleted on my phone, which I had done in state of panic before confessing. So my spouse hasnt actually seen anything that was said and has only my words to go off of.
After about three days of talking and crying, and me telling BP how remorseful I was and that I would do anything to save us, BP said they wanted to work through this and stay with me. I was relieved of course, but still felt so awful, and honestly, still scared that they will leave. At one point, they even said they felt like they deserved this because of their cheating. And that what they did was worse because they actually physically slept with someone else. I told them that I didnt feel that way at all.
Flash forward, Dday was almost three months ago. We are in MC and our own IC weekly. I am still a wreck and consumed with guilt, shame, and fear for our future. BP, at least on the outisde, is seemingly doing fine. They said they already forgiven me (they are still "mad" but they are ready to move on). They believe me when I say I would never do this again. I know for a fact I would never. They dont talk about the infidelity, only if I bring it up (saying how sorry I am and asking if they are okay). Recently they said that they are tired of worrying about how i am doing (fair!). They are tired of the heavy conversations. They just want us to be "normal" again. I want that too, but... is this rugsweeping? Is their past cheating possibly the reason they seem so quick to forgive?
In everythig I am reading about affairs, it says reconcillation can take 3-5 years. Is it realistic that some people really do move on after just 3 months? I just dont want them to surpess their feelings. I want to be their for them and work through this together. But they are tired of talking about it. Again, this is totally fair. I just worry it isnt healthy. Then again, l felt ready to move on after just a few months.
I would really love to hear from successful reconcillors who maybe were the exception to the 3-5 year rule. Everyone is different, and of course as strangers, you dont know my spouse personally so you cant say for sure, but given what I have told you about our story, what are your thoughts?
I am looking for those who have direct experiences with this. Please refrain from negativity such as "No one gets over it that soon, things will be never be the same, etc" I promise I am aware of the harsh reality that not all marriages survive infidelity and that the road to recovery is long and really hard. I am willing to do the work, I am working on changing, and I will do anything to reconcille this and rebuild BP's trust in me (I know that also means forgiving myself, which is proving very difficult, but I am trying!) Thanks in advance!!

Several years ago, my BP cheated on me, physically with one person (a drunken one night stand) and an emotional affair with person (a "friend" I always had bad feelings about - texting inappropriate pics, sharing loving feelings with each other and talking badly about me). This was only a few months into us dating, but I didnt find out until 2 and a half years and moving in together. They were extremely remorseful, claimed they were planning on telling me, and ultimately did everything right as far as helping me heal and reconcile. I felt like it took about 2-3 months for me to decide I was ready to forgive and move on. But I did. I mean, I never really forgot it, and still would look at the both of the AP's social media accts and would compare myself to them constantly. But overall, I felt like we were in a good place after a few months and really did come out stronger. My trust in them was restored and we were good. We got engaged, got married, bought a new house. We were truly happy.
About 2 and a half months ago I had an emotional affair, texting and talking on the phone, with an old friend who lives in another state, that lasted a little under two weeks. This friend and I did share a history of hooking up, but this was years ago when we were teens/early 20's. They had reached out kind of out of nowhere, to tell me their marriage was on the rocks. I expressed sympathy and offered support. Then they went on to tell me they have always been in love with me, for 22 years. I was taken aback. In hindsight, I wish so badly I had just shown my spouse this text right away. But I stupidly thought I could just handle it on my own and avoid making them uncomfortable (again...huge regret). Anyway, I told them that I cared deeply for them, but that I was happily married and boundaries needed to be respected. They agreed. We continued to text, at first just innocent things about what we had been up to over the past few years since we last saw each other. Then they told me they had made a suicide attempt recently. This scared and upset me, so I went on to tell them how much I loved them. They then told me I "saved their life" by telling them this, because they had been in such a bad place. The texts just got out of control after that. I am not saying that to act like I had no control. I know I did. But I started to feel feelings for them (or I thought I did) and honestly, was eating up the ego boost they were giving me. Messed up, I know. I have serious insecurities and vulnerability when it comes to people from my past. Again, no excuse. Anyway, eventually it lead to us being really inappropriate, talking about our past sexual moments with each other, how much we wanted to see eachother, how great it would be, etc. I sent them a picture of me, no nudity, but definitely suggestive.
Shortly after that, the guilt consumed me, I blocked their number, and I confessed to my spouse. I admittedly trickle truthed at first, saying it was all the AP, but as the conversation went on, I admitted I also reciprocated, told them I loved them, talked about sex, and sent them a photo of me. Spouse was of course pissed and devastated.
The NEXT day, AP's spouse texted me. They said they knew all along. AP had been deleting our texts, but they still saw everything on their phone records. Shockingly, they werent flipping out on me. They actually said that their marriage was terrible for years, that this was mild compared to other things AP had done, and this was finally their "out". They actually even thanked me. But of course, also said this was real disgusting of both of us. They said that they could have reached out to my spouse several times but didn't. They said they had possession of Ap's phone (including the picture), and that everything they had would be destroyed after their divorce was final. They also told me that AP manipulated me (that they use threats of suicide all the time), and that even though I was wrong too, it was AP "who sunk their claws into me". They told me to show my spouse what they were saying so that maybe it would help. I did, and it did help a little bit. They also said they believe I am a good person. All of this was a relief to hear, even though I didnt feel deserving of such grace. They said that I could give my spouse their number if they ever needed to vent, but that they wouldnt pull up the facts they had because that is not helpful or healthy. Spouse didnt want to do that. All of my texts with them had already been deleted on my phone, which I had done in state of panic before confessing. So my spouse hasnt actually seen anything that was said and has only my words to go off of.
After about three days of talking and crying, and me telling BP how remorseful I was and that I would do anything to save us, BP said they wanted to work through this and stay with me. I was relieved of course, but still felt so awful, and honestly, still scared that they will leave. At one point, they even said they felt like they deserved this because of their cheating. And that what they did was worse because they actually physically slept with someone else. I told them that I didnt feel that way at all.
Flash forward, Dday was almost three months ago. We are in MC and our own IC weekly. I am still a wreck and consumed with guilt, shame, and fear for our future. BP, at least on the outisde, is seemingly doing fine. They said they already forgiven me (they are still "mad" but they are ready to move on). They believe me when I say I would never do this again. I know for a fact I would never. They dont talk about the infidelity, only if I bring it up (saying how sorry I am and asking if they are okay). Recently they said that they are tired of worrying about how i am doing (fair!). They are tired of the heavy conversations. They just want us to be "normal" again. I want that too, but... is this rugsweeping? Is their past cheating possibly the reason they seem so quick to forgive?
In everythig I am reading about affairs, it says reconcillation can take 3-5 years. Is it realistic that some people really do move on after just 3 months? I just dont want them to surpess their feelings. I want to be their for them and work through this together. But they are tired of talking about it. Again, this is totally fair. I just worry it isnt healthy. Then again, l felt ready to move on after just a few months.
I would really love to hear from successful reconcillors who maybe were the exception to the 3-5 year rule. Everyone is different, and of course as strangers, you dont know my spouse personally so you cant say for sure, but given what I have told you about our story, what are your thoughts?
I am looking for those who have direct experiences with this. Please refrain from negativity such as "No one gets over it that soon, things will be never be the same, etc" I promise I am aware of the harsh reality that not all marriages survive infidelity and that the road to recovery is long and really hard. I am willing to do the work, I am working on changing, and I will do anything to reconcille this and rebuild BP's trust in me (I know that also means forgiving myself, which is proving very difficult, but I am trying!) Thanks in advance!!

I found Reddit posts to be a good resource for each step of the Youth Mobility Scheme Visa application process, so wanted to make a post sharing some tips, timelines, and what to expect. For context, I am a 25M Canadian with an engineering degree, moving to London in the fall without a job lined up as of yet.
1. Application (60-90 mins)
The application process is not difficult, and took me about 60-90 mins. One thing it asks you about is your international travel history over the last 10 years, so it would be helpful to have that information handy. It also asks when you plan on arriving in the UK, so you should have an idea of that too. It doesn't have to be exact but you will have a 90 day window for entry from the date you select, so give yourself some buffer if you are undecided. You will also need to indicate the location (post office) you will pick up your BRP card once you arrive. I recommend picking a location that is easy to get to if you don't know where you will be living yet.
Towards the end of the application, you will be directed to a website where you will pay your application fee and NHS surcharge (charged to credit card in USD). Once you have paid, you can book a biometrics appointment at the location nearest you. For me, this was VFS in the Yorkville area of Toronto. The closest available appointment for me at the time was 3-4 weeks away. There are optional services such as expedited/primetime appointments, courier delivery, document scanning assistance, SMS updates, keep your passport during processing, etc. The prices for these options were insanely high so I don't recommend paying for any extras unless you are on a very tight timeline. I think the SMS text updates were only $5 if that gives you peace of mind.
2. Proof of funds documents and Biometrics appointment (3-4 weeks for appointment + 1 week for visa processing)
Once your appointment is confirmed, you can upload your proof of funds documents using the VFS online tool. You need to show that you had the minimum funds (£2,530) in an accessible account for 28 consecutive days, with the most recent of those 28 days being no earlier than 30 days from your visa application date. I was able to download a statement from my savings account showing the rolling balance for a certain month, so I used that. I had read online about bank statements being tricky as the immigration office wants a date of issue on the statement, so to be safe I went to my bank and got a letter of good standing, dated and stamped within the required timeframe, and uploaded that too.
On the day of your appointment, print and bring your appointment confirmation (has a QR code the immigration office scans) and document checklist. You will receive both in an email after your Visa application is submitted. You will get a number and be called for your biometrics (photo taken for Visa vignette, fingerprints) and submit your passport in a Fedex envelope which is provided to you. I was at VFS for about 25 mins. They also give you a SIM card that comes with 1 month free cell service in the UK which is helpful.
A few days after my appointment, I received an email notifying me that my Visa was being processed. A few days after that, I got an email saying my passport was ready for pickup. They had me open the envelope to ensure my Visa was there, then I was free to go. I did not pay for any expediting, and the time between my biometrics appointment and picking up my visa was 4-5 business days I think.
3. Once you have your Visa
Start the job search. It may be helpful to indicate on your CV that you have the right to work in the UK, especially if you have a Canadian phone number like me.
There are lots of things to consider before making the move. Pause/cancel any subscriptions you won't use, downgrade your phone plan to a cheap plan if you want to keep your phone number, sort out your finances. I was able to open a UK HSBC bank account from here in Canada quite easily, which should make things easier when I land.
Lastly, you have to pick up your BRP card within 10 days of arriving in the UK. I believe the BRP will get you in and out of the country, while the Visa is more of an entry document.

I am so sorry for how long this is, but there's quite a bit to cover.
I am a 28F mechanic who works for a rather large dealership in my city. I love my job, I love working on cars, and I love the men that I work with. It's like having an army of brothers that would do anything for me, and I have genuinely never had such a wonderful and supportive workplace environment.
Until "Collin" (26M) started about 6 weeks ago.
Before I start with him, I want to tell you about my "superpower." When I was very, very young, my mother noticed that I had this uncanny ability to detect "bad" people. Even as a toddler, there were certain people I didn't want near me or holding me for seemingly no reason. If they tried, I would scream until they left me alone. If said people tried to pick me up anyway, she'd snatch me away from them and tell them that I said no and to leave me alone. When they'd ask why or push that I "didn't know what [I] wanted," she'd shut them down and say that me not wanting that was reason enough. She's never, ever questioned my "ability" and instead leaned into it and helped me nurture it (especially after certain charges came out about a previous church member that I was uncomfortable around).
Back to Collin. Obviously, that's not his real name, but what is real about him is how... creepy he is. It was evident to me the moment I first met him, but I didn't want to come off as judgemental. My "superpower" has never been wrong, but I have a problem setting boundaries when I'm on the clock because I never want to be the "problem child" for a company. As the only female mechanic, I'm even more aware of that, so I tend to walk on eggshells out of fear of being treated differently.
With Collin, it's a little hard to explain, but to start, he's got personal space issues. As in, I have an issue with how little he respects my personal space. An example: I keep snacks in one of my toolbox drawers for when I and my teammates are too busy to stop and eat a proper lunch. A few days ago, I was bent over and fishing around for a protein bar when I felt him walk up behind me. Of all the angles he could've approached me from, he picked directly behind me and got so close that I felt him brush up against my butt. I immediately shot up and told him to back the fuck up. He tried to play it off as an accident, but I told him, quite loudly, that it's not an accident to sneak up on someone like that and touch them. When he saw a few of my coworkers looking over at us, he quietly made a comment about me overreacting, and walked away.
A few days before that, as I was working on a car, he came up to my toolbox and just took an impact gun. It wasn't mine; I was borrowing someone else's because mine was being repaired. So I stopped him and told him to put it back. He asked me why. This was weird to me because, as far as he knew, it was mine and if I said no, he should've just left it at that. So, I said, "Because it's not yours and I said no. Please put it back." "It's not yours either," is what he said. He tried to walk away with it. At this point, I physically stepped in front of him and said "All the more reason for you not to take it. It isn't mine to lend out. Please put it back." He then asked me if he had a problem sharing. I asked him if he had a problem with respecting boundaries.
Y'all... the look Collin gave me sent chills down my spine. At that moment, he glared at me like my ex did right before he put my head through a wall, and I was actually scared. I swallowed that fear and stood my ground, even though I just wanted to curl up and disappear. He must not be used to people standing up to him because he just sighed in annoyance and slammed the impact down on my bench, then walked away. He, thankfully, avoided me for the rest of the day.
Since those two situations have happened, I've asked for my friend/coworker, "Evan," to make a new group chat for that handful of us that hangout after work because I wasn't comfortable with Collin having access to my phone number. Evan had added him, without asking the rest of us, when they'd gone to a theme park together a few weeks prior. I'd opted out because I didn't want to hang out with Collin, but they used the group chat to communicate plans and such. Evan agreed to make a new group chat so that I feel safer.
Now, finally , the reason I am writing this post is because of what happened yesterday. I may have overreacted? My fiancé thinks I acted well within reason, but sometimes my anxiety makes me believe that I go overboard, even if I'm being perfectly rational. I'm not sure if that's the case here or not.
I caught Collin fishing around in my toolbox. Except, this time, it was the drawer that I keep my purse in. It's not a secret that it's there; every morning when I walk in, my coworkers see me put it in that specific drawer. I used to keep it with the snacks, but the men I work with are a little more old fashioned and won't even go near my purse, so they'd get hesitant when they saw it near the snacks. I moved drawers so they could freely grab food when I was too preoccupied to personally hand them something in order to avoid my purse. It was no bother to do so, but boy did it bother me when I saw Collin huddling over that drawer with my purse in it.
I shouted with my whole chest, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He immediately stood up and started mumbling about needing a certain tool, to which I bombarded him with questions like, "And you were just going to take it? That's not even where any of them are! Why were you going through my purse, you creep?" He couldn't keep up to answer any of my questions, but as far as I was concerned, he wouldn't have been able to come up with a good enough excuse because it's quite well known that that's the place where I keep my personal belongings. It got to the point where I was just yelling at him, and other coworkers had to come pull me away from Collin because I was getting increasingly aggressive. I was so mad, in fact, that I didn't even realize that he was getting aggressive too, and the reason why Evan and "Peter" had to pull me away is because Collin was getting in my face and calling me names. When I try to think about it now, I don't remember hearing that. I was so angry, that all I could really hear was the blood pumping in my body.
I had to sign a write up this morning. Absolutely fair, seeing as how I lost my shit and all professionalism in the workplace. I'm annoyed because this is my first write up, but management needs something to prove they "punished" me in some way for my behavior. What I'm not okay with is Collin telling people that I flew off the handle for no reason. Then this guy has the nerve to approach me today and tell me he forgave me for the way I treated him yesterday and that he hopes we can be friends in the future. I might be the asshole because I told him, calmly, that "I never want to be friends with someone who is so apathetic and disrespectful when it comes to boundaries and personal space" and that I'd appreciate it if he left me alone in the future. Now he's moping and saying I didn't even give him a chance before being a bitch to him.
Am I the asshole? Did I overreact?

A little disclaimer before I get fully into it: This was my first real, long term relationship so a lot of things still don’t make sense to me, but I will try my best to explain everything clearly and fully.
Me (19M) and my boyfriend (19M) got together in February of 2023. We met through our job, and even before dating we were good friends for about 6 months prior. During this time in my life, I had just turned 18 and was struggling heavily with my self image, self worth, and the idea that a relationship was even a possibility for me. In fact, I would say i was struggling the most with relationships and men in general. When my boyfriend came along it honestly seemed too good to be true. We hit it off instantly, got along very well, and shared a lot of the same morals and values when it came to dating. Except for when it came to sex, but i’ll go more into that later.
For the first few months, I would say the dynamic worked out well between us. Then, he moved out of his parent’s and in with his best friend and her family, which consisted of her mom, dad, and brother. Since the beginning of the relationship, I wasn’t too crazy about his best friend. I do care about her and have empathy for her, but for lack of better words, my boyfriend kind of let her walk all over him. This seemed to get worse after they started living together. And, it became apparent that they did not see eye to eye on most things and wanted different things out of their living situation. She would get jealous anytime we wanted to spend time together alone, and often times would not let us be alone when I was at their house. This eventually was talked about between them and i will say, in the regards of giving us more space, she did back off. However, their living situation was still toxic. They would have disagreements, but ones that would never be talked about or worked through. In turn, my boyfriend would talk/rant to me about her, and I always agreed with his POV, but that was the end of it. He always said that it’s extremely hard for him to confront people due to his own anxieties and past trauma. I 100% understood this, as I struggle a lot with confrontation too, but when it came to the point of his friend putting stress on our relationship/on me and I would talk to him about it, he would say he understood but nothing would ever be done about it. I could’ve very well spoke up for myself against her, but I was terrified that he would be upset with me and it would cause problems for us. I know that’s unhealthy now but in the moment it felt like I just had to get over it.
Then, around OctobeNovember last year, his friend’s mom ended up kicking both her daughter and my boyfriend out over a very small misunderstanding involving transportation. It was one night that I was taking him home from work, and her mom thought she had to pick him up, so we both showed up to get him. She absolutely flipped out over this and used it as justification to kick him out. Then when his friend tried to defend him against her mom, she kicked her out too. She ended up going to live with her current boyfriend and mine came to live with me. At this point, I had moved about 45 minutes away from our hometown with my dad and step family. I was (and still am) working in said hometown, because I do like my job and most importantly the people I work with. My boyfriend could’ve gone back to live with his parents, but honestly, neither of us wanted that. In hindsight, that’s what should have happened.
Up until this past April, everything was okay with our situation. We were living and working together full time and considering he didn’t have a car or his license yet, I was his source of transportation. Something shifted inside of me though. I found myself not being excited about his presence anymore and also not having sexual feelings towards him anymore, which is highly unusual for me. I felt like I had hit a wall that I couldn’t climb over in the relationship. In that moment, I chalked it up to being a “simple” change in feelings and that we were just growing apart. This did not go very well when I told him. I didn’t expect it to, but I know that he wasn’t even trying to fathom how I felt in the situation and ended up being pretty hurtful about it. The first night after it happened, we had a lengthy conversation over text where he was essentially saying that I ruined him and broke him and that I couldn’t possibly have loved him like I said I did since I was doing this. He also said, and I quote, “You built me back up and made me believe I was finally having the life I deserved and then you destroyed me and left me worse than when you found me”. This of course made me feel immense guilt but I knew it was coming from a place of hurt and I didn’t let it weigh me down too much. He also said that I would never find a friend in him and that this was goodbye, and blocked me on all social media and my phone number. Even though I was the one to break up with him, this still hurt a lot because I did and still do very much care about him.
The next day, he reached back out and apologized for how he reacted and asked me if we could try space instead of a full-on break up. I agreed to this because the relationship really did mean everything to me and I genuinely loved him. I did make sure to tell him that I couldn’t make any promises about my feelings returning but that I would try. And I have. Since then, we have still been working together, just not on the same schedule as before, and he is staying with his parents back in our hometown. We still text on the daily because we both made the agreement that we didn’t just want to go back to strangers. We mainly just talk about work and life and what not, but not much has been said about our specific situation on either end. We both agreed that we needed space. We both also agreed to not really see each other outside of work because we both know it would just complicate things even more, especially if we were to still act like a couple and even more especially if we continued a sexual relationship. This brings us to current day.
It has been about a month of space now and although it’s hard to admit to myself, I don’t want to be back with him. After I’ve had time to think everything over, I’ve realized that I may have put up with more than i deserve/disregarded my self and my feelings for him. Sex was honestly not that important to him, but it always has been for me. It’s not all that I care about of course, but I found myself being told no more often than not. I found myself suppressing my true sexual feelings for him in order to comply to what he wanted. I am also the type of person who likes to try new things, and he was almost always opposed to it. For a while I told myself this was the right thing to do in order for us to work out. With all this being said, our sexual relationship was good and we both enjoyed each other in that way, but it was just very inconsistent.
I also now feel like we just started to want different things out of the relationship. We both needed our own personal space which was impossible at the time, considering we lived and worked together on the same schedules and I was his transportation to and from work and also to hang out with friends when he wanted to. We also have conflicting love languages, as mine is primarily physical affection and reassurance while his are more along the lines of quality time, gift giving, and sharing his interests. As far as the love languages go, I knew early on that they were not the same but I thought we had come to a place where they could coexist. I know now that it was starting not work out that way, and I think he felt the same too although I’m not 100% positive as I found it very hard to understand him and his feelings sometimes, as did he with me.
Like I said previously, he struggles with confrontation. Any time I had an issue with something he did that would upset me, it was usually met with silence and a simple apology or “I don’t remember that/That’s not what I meant.” It seemed like he was taking things as a personal attack rather than trying to understand where I was coming from. One specific moment sticks out to me. One night after work, his best friend wanted to see us before we went home, but she got off of work later than us , which meant we would have to wait around for that. I was very tired due to a long busy day and just wanted to go home as did he, but we stayed and waited anyways because he was afraid of her reaction had we not. I did not respond to this well, and I told him straight up that she walks all over him and that I felt he was not considering how I was feeling about the situation either. All i got in response was confused silence and a simple “I’m sorry.” I was not satisfied with this, and after telling him so, he said how he doesn’t know what else to say/doesn’t know how to communicate how he’s feeling. I ended the conversation there because I could see that I was getting nowhere, but I was still very visibly upset. After we left to go back home, he wouldn’t talk to me and just fell asleep on the drive. This caused me to start crying and after he realized and I reiterated my feelings, I was met with a little more compassion and “i’m sorry”s but then the conversation shifted and no more was said about it on either end.
There were also multiple times that I knew that I had upset him over various things, because he would start acting different (short responses, dirty looks, spending more time on his phone etc). But , when I would ask him what I did, he would just say that he’s fine and to not worry about it. For example, on Valentine’s day this year, I made a very inconsiderate joke about his size (even though it wasn’t true). I was trying to be funny and we both knew I wasn’t being serious, but it still was wrong. It did affect him and eventually he opened up to me and we talked about it, and i apologized profusely and all was resolved. But before that, his demeanor and attitude towards me completely changed and he was treating me very differently. Before we talked about it, I was unaware that the joke I had made was the cause of it, but he told me that he was upset about something I had said but told me it was fine and that he’d get over it, while still treating me differently. I didn’t respond to this well because I knew I had hurt the person I loved, and wanted so desperately to resolve it and make sure it never happened again, but until he brought it to light I was stuck in an intense self-hate/guilt trip.
I will say I don’t recall him ever using any of that against me, but communication is extremely important to me and I just wasn’t getting it. It was like , we always were fine together until the more serious issues came about (differences in intimacy desires, communicating our issues with each other , etc.)
It’s worth mentioning that I also struggle with self image/self worth, and a lot of anxiety/uncertainty. I forgot to include it earlier, but another reason the space is happening is because we lost ourselves in the relationship. We still don’t really who we are or what we want from life. I was constantly preoccupied with how he was feeling and how my actions affected him, and he was constantly preoccupied by turning to me for comfort and safety. I don’t blame him for that though, as I know that we have to fully love and know ourselves/know what we want first before making a commitment to someone else. That’s why I struggle so much with knowing if I’m making the right decision or not. I’m also scared that once I tell him, he won’t want anything to do with me anymore similar to how he reacted the first time. I will forever be grateful for the love that we shared and all the good he showed me and would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all, but I don’t know if that’s the reality. And if it’s not that’s okay and I know that, but I haven’t accepted it. I just want us both to be happy in life and live to our full potentials even if that means it’s not together. If you made it this far I’m sorry for the novel but thank you for taking the time to read. I may be the asshole here and if that’s the case, I will do better and I will make the right decisions. I just need a little insight. Thank you again for anyone who took the time.

My brother married an actual psychopath. My brother (40) married the scummiest scum of the earth. Who can only be described as a whore, a psycho, sociopath and an all around terrible human being. It was against the wishes of EVERYONE. For back story…She had a child by another man… and only had him (in november) to live off the government. he met the stray hoe took care of her and her unborn child. they started dating in september and by christmas she had drained his bank account. He moved in with her days after christmas. Proposed. And got married sometime between march and june i honestly can not be bothered to know exactly when. The night before brother was admitted to the er for staph infection in his berries. After the “wedding” that was in the back yard of some pastor . they had a “reception”. Where i photographed/observed the following. A used tampon on washing machine. Shit filled diapers littering the nursery. A surreal amount of clothing on the bed. I said nah im good. And went home. The wedding was in may and she got my brother to legally adopt her child. Im forever convinced if not for my brother she would casey anthony her child. She Munchausened her kid and my brother. Self diagnosing the kid with autism. Pushed or made my brother fall and get multiple concussions. Drugged him with date rape drugs to keep control of him. She was a frequent flier to the ER going to the emergency room for unnecessary reasons. She refused to parent her child insisting that its the worlds job to teach him the bare minimum. She refused to clean as well. Her cockroaches had cockroaches. Cleanliness was mental illness for her. She kicked my brother out asking for divorce. But realized she had to leave bc he paid the bills. She stayed with whoever the hell would take her. Was forced to walk wherever she needed to go. And uttered the words “well i had to walk in the rain so theres my bath for the week” after growing tired of not having his card and money she came crawling back. She avoided parenting like the plague. Every excuse. Uti. Migraine. Yeast infection. Its a tuesday. When her son was 2 she left to go to another state and go to school for being a truck driver. Had no qualms of leaving her kid behind for weeks. Then she dropped out of 18 wheeler school. It seems the wheels on her bus fell off. For someone who doesnt believe proper hygiene was important she didnt believe bathing him and basic care was important. Feet encrusted in dirt and dirt under overgrown nails. It was so noticeable that when i cut his nails his teacher made comment about it. Her family was just as absent as you would expect. Her mother only went to the first birthday party when the child was 6. And didnt even know her own grandchild. Asked another child at the party if he had the best birthday! My mom looked at her and said “yeaaa thats the wrong kid…” Fast forward when the first born was 6 and she birthed her second. This had no change and her parenting never improved. Another child encrusted in dirt. After the youngest turned a year and a half my brother had knee surgery and stayed with us (me mom dad) to recover because she would have made him cook clean and parent. While he was healing for the week he was there she moved in her boyfriend AND girlfriend. By the way she not only a hoe she is a promiscuous hoe with no moral compass. I promised my mom id never call CPS however when the second was 2 i had a friend call cps. Like a special ops team cops went in at 2 am and gathered the children and brought them to me and my parents. We had the 2 year old and a friend of the hoe had the 8 year old. For 2 weeks my brother agonized over his kids being taken. And she had a vacation. She treated it as if having your kids repo’ed as a right of passage. Told the world. Told the teacher. And had the time of her stupid life. In the 2 weeks i had them i had minions collecting screenshots of statuses of her being a bad mother. Which was super easy bc every thought made it to facebook. Such as. “My dentist suggested i brush my teeth at least once a day” “i guess i was doing (brother) with the wrong meds and made him sick” “why dont grandparents raise our children” i gathered these gems and photographic evidence of the state of the house and cleanliness of children to cps, police and eventually divorce lawyer. During their time together the hoe broke my brother mentally spiritually emotionally physically financially. The food stamps ran out in the first week of every month spent on junk soda and unnecessary nonsense. They had to ask my mother for money that accumulated to the tune of $10,000 over 10 years. She is also a gofundme whore. She would start a gofundme 10-12 times a year for any and everything. She decided at one point to go back to school and did an amazon wishlist for school supplies and a gofundme for “gas food and other expenses”. Being the trash human she is she is friends with people of unsavory character. An actual crack head bought her entire amazon wishlist. Which she put on facebook. Yikes. At one point she found a dog and instead of finding the owner she finders keepers that poor pup. Making yet another gofundme for dog expenses. I told my friends i would paaaay them to claim the dog as theirs so my mother didnt pay for yet another mouth to feed. If youre curious about the gofundmes and if they were ever fruitful… when a bull milks a calf will her gofundme work. The final year of their marriage was no less chaotic. The christmas of 2019 she posted on facebook that its so wonderful that her husband is out working and her boyfriend is sleeping next to her and her girlfriend is cooking. Tagging the aforementioned on facebook. My brother was humiliated because infront of church members family and friends his marriage and all the stupidity that came with it was out in the open for all to judge. My brother was at the time a corrections officers and let his kind nature and naivety get him in trouble. A person asked him to take some taco bell to an inmate and in what could only be called a moment of stupidity (sorry mom) he did so. what he didnt know is they put drugs in it and when it was scanned he was arrested. My mom and dad had to bail him out too him home and around 3 am he called me “they voted me out” beyond confused i asked what the hell does that mean? As it turned out. Hoe boyfriend and girlfriend unanimously voted him out of the house. Mind you. Single wide trailer housing 4 adults 2 kids a dog and cats. June of 2020 he moved back in a month later if the children followed. after the actual breadwinner left the house the unemployed baboons could not pay the rent and were kicked out. The three went down to two with the girlfriend being let go. Hoe and boyfriend moved in with her mother. And boyfriend wrecked the car in my brothers name. Dui and head on collision. Car gone! The children stayed with us. The youngest was 2 at the time and began calling my mom “mommy” which pissed off the hoe. And she never contacted them. At the hearing for the divorce she stated all she wanted out of the relationship was not money or visitation. But her maiden name back. TAKE IT. AND LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE. She also used a photo of her kids on a gofundme to get sympathy and posted that to a fetish website. Seeing as the photo was them shirtless i believe that was on purpose. She dumped boyfriend and found a new love in new hampshire. She was in NH for 8 months with her new boyfriend and he lost his job so they moved back down. After a summer of no contact she called and told the children “when i get home we are going to….” And listed about 10 events places and activities to look forward to. None of which she delivered on. After not spending time with them again and choosing to give up her weekend with them to play video games for 30 HOURS STRAIGHT. She eventually in 2024 decided that her and her boyfriend were moving to Massachusetts. Seeing how she is a practicing witch my only hope is the salem witch trials reconvene. She married the dude she abandoned her kids for. On mothers day the children who no longer give a damn she exists were forced to call and tell her happy mothers day. Where the 6 year old proceeded to tell her the older brother got a phone and didnt wanna give her his number. She assured him that as his mother its quite alright to give mommy dearest the number to which the youngest said yea no he doesnt want to. The mouths of babes. She cried and posted on facebook not only do her children hate her but she had to give up her cats too. And wished the “real mom’s of the world a happy mothers day” shes a shit cat mom too! A week after we had spaghetti for dinner and the 6 year old said “i never used to like spaghetti. I only tried it at… whats her names house? Jordan? Yea her house” With their father engaged to a good Godly woman with morals and standards the worst mother to ever mother has been replaced and so far we are all living happily ever after. The moral of the story is if you lay down with dogs you get up with fleas what if you lay down with whores end up with bedbugs and that was a very costly moral

I apologize in advance for the length of this thread, but by far this is the user that wrote the most comments in the video of our song. At first, he suggested Scepter and Reign, but he debunked this lead by saying: "Scepter and Reign can be crossed off. I have been corresponding with the lady whose name is mentioned in the legal document, Naomi (first name used with her permission, and only her first name) since Thursday. She was legitimately shocked her name was on the document because in all these years NOBODY ever contacted her regarding it. She thinks they may have realized how much money it would cost and probably withdrew. She knew both bands fairly well, scale of 1-10 she answered "6.5 maybe 7'ish". She designed 1 "logo" for each band that was literally just a sketch she made with their band names on them she could print out in the Xerox store she worked at. Scepter's original name was actually "Dungeon Master" but they changed it to fit their name on her design. As for the abandoned demo from Scepter, she said they abandoned it because they couldn't afford to produce it. They didn't even make it far enough to name their 3 or 4 songs. So, on to the big question, are either bands involved with this song? According to her both bands came out in 1985, and according to her this "The Falling King" song predates both bands by a year or 2. This is not Scepter or Reign, this song is older than both bands. According to her, she first heard this song on a Detroit station while visiting family. Even back then, the Detroit station personnel had absolutely NO CLUE who this was. She remembers her father making fun of the singers accent claiming it was a "Posh" accent and also used to think the lyric was "The fall, the fall in the king" lol. I explained how this song was recorded off of several stations in 1987 and she replied "How many songs do you hear on the radio that are several years old?". She was stumped this was played on Z-Rock because this does not sound like an amateur band to her. She is not the only person to make comments that this does not sound like an amateur band, this sounds professionally recorded and produced, something EXTREMELY few amateugarage bands could have done. I thought i had something, but at least i tried. By the way, apparently Reign still performs in the Pittsburgh area under the name "Metallic Thunder"." (THIS IS HIS LATEST COMMENT) If this is true, it means our search will be even more difficult.
In one of his earliest comments he said this: "My 2 oldest sisters (born in 1970 and 1972) actually remember this song being played by garage bands and local talents in the Coatesville PA area. However, they both swear on mom and dads ashes that the first time they heard this song, a local music festival in Exton PA, I was NOT born yet (I was born in 1984). Even back then nobody could say who it was or what the title was. In fact the one band from Downingtown PA used to refer to it as "The Dungeons and Dragons song". And by that i mean, according to my sisters the lead singers girlfriend (or his sister....they could never tell?) would be in the crowd and when they were ready to end their performance she would shout "Play the Dungeons and Dragons song". My sisters also remember the adults thinking this song was somehow a promotional thing for the PA Renaissance Fair. Unfortunately they cannot offer any clues to the identity of this band or songs title, their guess, back then and still today, was Manowar."
At first, he claims our band is Manowar, explaining: "I do not think Manowar is an obscure band, nor do my sisters. The "obscure" bands mentioned in my postings are all the local garage/amateur bands that they remember playing this song and most of those garage/amateur bands even back then, along with my sisters, were under the impression this was a Manowar song. Many people, not just on this post but others feel this is Manowar "pitch" song, other bands thrown around have been Iron Maiden, Overdrive (Or Overkill, i'm not sure if it's the same band?), Blackmane, Axis and Cirith Ungol (spelling?). Keep this in mind, it's not that uncommon for mainstream/well known bands to have unreleased music in their "library". A good example, ask the most diehard Rammstein fans what their first song ever was, they'll probably answer Du Recht So Gut or Rammstein. Most people have never heard their 1992-1993 pitch song, "Tier" (Monster, beast). In fact, Till Linderman himself stated in 2018 he was unaware Tier was ever recorded by anyone, yet alone put up on the internet. Like this "Fall of the King" song, "Tier" was toted as an mystery song for years but was in a group of 4 or 5 other songs that Rammstein did but never released. One of my favorite bands, Corvus Corax, actually had something similar happen, a song they did back in the early 90's, "Vampire", opening for another band was recorded by a fan in the audience and made rounds on the Neo Folk community ages later. Corvus Corax themselves heard it on a radio station in Denmark roughly 2009'ish and called them asking how and when they got that song because they NEVER recorded it for public use. Personally i cannot give a wager who this is? I am not that good with this genre so i go with what people older than me and much better with this music say. To me it could be Manowar, something they never intended to be released publicly, it could be the Z'Rose a bunch of people feel it is, it could be Overdrive/Overkill (i do not know if these names are the same band or 2 separate ones?), it could be me time traveling impersonating my great uncle Fred......ok that last one was just meant to be a joke lol." Then someone says: "has your sister contacted erik to see about the the song?" and he says "OH HELL NO!!! They haven't spoken since they broke up in 1991-1992. I did reach out to his brother probably a year ago and never heard back."
He suggests it's either Manowar or Sarissa (he mispelled them): "@aSome1 There's some confusion, my sisters never said Z'Rose was playing the song in our hometown area. Local teenage to early college yrs bands were playing it. They recognized this song when I was on a family Zoom chat, i had this song on in the background (by accident actually lol) and my oldest sister (#1 born in '70) asked what i was listening to. I turned it up and she shook her head and asked the other sister (#2 born in '72) "Oh my gosh isn't that that stupid Manowar song Erik and his brother used to play all the time?". Erik was the name of her high school boyfriend. They remember hearing it first at an amateur music fest when my brother (born in '82) was still a baby. Mainly they remember mom fitting all of them in her old "Batmobile" station wagon. By the time i was born in '84 that station wagon was gone for at least several months. The band names they specifically remember playing this, and keep in mind these were "Garage bands" from the 80's were: Venomous Vomit, Razors in your Coffee (Erik's band), Ash to Ash, Cauldron Kings, Coven of Metal, Pridesville, South of Hell and Purgatory. They said there were a few more, but didn't remember....or care....to know their names. (Disclaimer: Several peoples associated with those mentioned bands have been contacted by me and several have replied.....the most common reply is "How the hell do you know us!?" lol)
"I have actually been looking at this song for almost 3yrs. I've had some "good leads" and some "bad leads" and i've also had "WTF leads".......but at the end it is still unsolved. So far the biggest contenders, from people way better with this music than me (I'm more a symphonic or extreme metal person) have been: Manowar, Iron Maiden, OverDrive, Overkill, Onslaught of Destruction and Sonic Mahem. My sisters really believe it is possibly an unreleased or "pitch demo" of Manowar but they also said it might be a Greek band from the early 80's called Sarassa or something like that?"
Then he denies it's Z-Rose: "@lostwavefinder587 I have seen that name tossed around a lot on forums and random chats (this being one of them). Most people way smarter and better with this music than myself seem to have the opinion that it is not Z'Rose. They range in reason from: the equipment sound professional and they were not, the dates don't add up, Z'Rose only did covers so even it is them in the recordings it's still not their song.....one individual (a supervisor at work who lived in Texas during this time frame) actually said "Z'Rose wouldn't have been sober enough to finish that song". I have only heard 1 Z'Rose recording, and unfortunately the person who recorded it (I think the date says 1989?) spends the majority of the 5 minute video talking during the performance so all i hear is them and not the singer. I have to emphasize about %99 of this info i'm presenting is NOT from me but people who know this genre of music way better than me....i'm more Symphonic metal and neo folk (Corvus Corax, Heilung, Faun etc."
"Out of curiosity, since a lot people think this might be Z'Rose, has anyone contacted the family/families of Nick or Joe Cavazos? My "team" is looking into a blog page from 2018 of a pretty intense exchange between a blogger and a woman who is believed to be "Rocker Joe's daughter. In this exchange she states this song is NOT her dad and uncle's band. But it gets pretty rough because the blogger keeps pressing and let's just say some NSFW language is exchanged. I will only say this, the woman's name does match one of the names in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary, but they can't tell if it is actually HER or someone posing. I also find it interesting that in another posting of this song someone is claiming to be the nephew of both Nick and Joe.....but about a dozen people ask about this song and he does not answer them......but someone else will ask something unrelated to this song and he answers??"
"About a year ago on another posting of this song, someone had a link to a conversation with a woman who was allegedly Joe Cavazos daughter. She very adamantly denied this was her dads band, Z'Rose. They person kept pressing her and she did not budge a single inch, "NO, its not my dad's band". The only thing that could be confirmed was the woman's name did match a name in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary as his daughter. But if it was her or not I can't say? Many peoples on other postings and on forums have all claimed to have gotten in contact with Z'Rose and stated they responded "No" to this being theirs.
So the "Kings Fall" song by Bernard Cavazos is actually a completely different song. He is also not related to the Z'Rose Cavazos. Somewhere I read that the "Kings Fall"/"Fallen King" song by Bernard Cavazos is about a corrupt politician or mafia like "king" not an actual king. Again none of this is from me, it's from things I read, not me.
When 'Wang' did a video about several mystery songs he included this one. In his video (I don't know if he made more than one?) he talked about how that Bernard Cavazos has been contacted and has denied this is his Fall of the King song. If my memory is correct Wang read a message from him explaining his "king" was a corrupt politician or gang leader like king. Wang also mentioned there was another Bernard Cavazos who was a doctor and he is sick and tired of people contacting him about this song"
Someone that replied to him said:
"@CharlesMarkward probably this tape recording was an attempt from them to make something of their own, many bands have started this way, an example is the Brazilian power metal band Angra, they were first meant to be an Iron Maiden tribute but as things went by, they have decided to release things of their own...I couldn't find anything about this "Z'Rose" band in metal-archives, neither at Google with a simple research, but the data gathered until this moment make sense: the Z Rock radio is from Texas, the so called "Z'Rose" band is also from Texas, it was the 80's, so, without internet, this was the way bands used to promote their work...but your story adds some drifts from this sensible data available until now...they are/were from Texas, ok...but until then, they weren't any big group, which means they were probably 9 to 5 salarymen whose musician activity was on weekends and the money earned wasn't enough to keep up with, so, a trip from TX to PA is a long ranged one and expensive for their then standards, I can remember when I've read the Mick Wall's Metallica biography, in which they highlight how hard was for them to go all the way from CA to NY to record Kill em' All, well, unless someone sponsored the so called "Z'Rose from Texas" (like the Zazula couple to Metallica) to play in the events you've mentioned in PA...which means they were good and had potential (this "mysterious recording" doesn't let me lie), because it takes a lot for someone at the other eastern extreme of a big country like the USA to call someone all the way from TX to play in an event when probably there were good bands around and without the need of a sponsorship to travel and get some place to sleep and eat..."
Therefore Charles says: "Also, i am not the one saying it's not them. People much better with much more access to metal archives/records are saying it's not them. BUT, everything you said makes perfect sense to me and I have no argument against any of it. It would make perfect sense if it was a possible pitch demo Z'Rose recorded and kept along for a few years before a station played it. My sisters are %98 certain it was a Manowar song, the only other band they mentioned as a possibility is a Greek band i can't find anything about called something like Sarassa??"
Someone told him to contact Erik: "A little bit ago someone in here suggested i contact my sisters ex and ask where he got this song. I could not get a hold of him, but i did get in contact with his brother he played with. According to the brother they got the song from their aunt who lived in Philly (Center City) and would send them tapes of songs to play. This song was on a tape sandwiched between "4 or 5" Manowar songs. He specifically remembered this for 2 reasons: 1, their aunt wrote "Killing of the king by No Name" and 2, the last song on the this tape was labled as a Venom song (he did not recall which) but was actually "Melody of Love" by Bobby Vinton😂. So i think this is why my sisters keep saying it's Manowar, because if it was on a tape with a bunch of their songs that chances are they heard a crapload of times?"
He contacted Erik's brother (Erik is supposedly the ex boyfriend of one of his sisters) and received this reply: "Erik's brother returned another email I sent about this song. I made a post about it about a week ago. The brother says their aunt who lived in Philly included this song on a mix tape of stuff for him and his brother to play. This song was sandwiched between several Manowar songs and the last song on the tape was supposed to be a Venom song but was actually Bobby Vinton's "Melody of Love" 🤣"
Therefore debunking the possibility it's a Manowar song, he also adds: "She (the aunt) passed in 2014. She would record songs off the radio for them. She lived in Philly (Center City) but also had a place in Florida, so he was never sure which cities radio stations she would record from. This song she wrote "Killing the King?" As the title and "???" as the band name, but it was between several Manowar songs. I think this might be why my oldest sisters are so insistent this is a Manowar song because they may have listened to it with Erik and his brother.....it's a theory lol"
He also thought of Iced Earth as the possible band: "lostwavefinder587 I immediately thought of Iced Earth when I heard this song. Although it's likely just a coincidence, it's interesting to note that Iced Earth was originally called "The Rose".
Someone said to him: "if that's any help, the Greek band's name you're talking about is probably Sarissa. I don't think it's them, though: the vox sound kinda different, and their songs are mostly Ancient Greece-themed." And he replied: "Yes, thank you! All this time I've been spelling it wrong. I gave a quick listen to a demo of theirs from '86. In terms of sound and beat and tempo etc, they are pretty close to this song. In terms of vocals, they sound nothing alike." Therefore, he debunked Sarissa himself.
Now here he changed his version and provides a new lead given by his sisters:
"Holy crap for some reason my last post got cut in half and didn't include the following info, sorry! So the individual i spoke to and got the new possible lead is the former singer of the one band my sisters mentioned, Purgatory, (i do NOT have his permission to use his real name but his stage name was Tarantula). He confirmed he played this song "once or twice" but didn't know the lyrics so they just repeated several "blocks" over and over again. He heard it from a band in NJ and when he asked if he could use the song they replied along the lines of "It's not our song, we don't care" but gave no indication who it was or they even knew who it was? He suggested the band "Knightmare" because they were from Texas and he remembers all of their songs being medieval or medieval fantasy related. Supposedly they wore what looked like full on plate armor (he does not know if it was actual metal armor or something made to look like it). He saw them perform a handful of times because he spent summers in Texas on his grandfathers (mistakenly said uncle in my last post, sorry) ranch and would sneak off at night to "the metal scene" (i do not know if that was a club name or if he just meant that in general?). He began visiting his grandfathers ranch in 1980 and stopped when his grandfather retired in 1992. He gave an estimated timeline for "Knightmare" of 1981-1989."
He corrects himself by saying they are not called "Knightmare": Interestingly, my supervisor at work lived in Texas during this timeline (roughly mid 70's to mid 90's from what i can gather?) and when I asked him about Knightmare he had no idea. But when i mentioned they dressed up like knights in armor he suddenly looked startled and said "That wasn't their name, their name was Battle Battalion or some s*** like that".
But then he says: "So i posted a few months ago about this song, my sisters remember garage bands in the area playing this… I checked every band called Knightmare on Metal Encyclopedia and it doesn’t look like it’s our band." "Forgive my French.....Damn. I thought maybe it could have been a lead but i guess like dozens of others I've come across, dead end. I did a quick search for Knightmare a few weeks ago and I got all excited i saw one band dressed up like monks or Druids, but that band only came out in 2017. I think it's safe to say the name has been used by many bands."
Then someone asks him: "Does the name "Battle Battalion" show up on any Metal "pedia" sites? That's what my supervisor claims this "dressed up in medieval armor" bands name was?" and another one told him: "I saw some bands with Battalion on the metal encyclopedia and discogs and none of them are our band. I don’t think we should go based on what a band wears as our lead."
Then he debunks the Knightmare (and the Conquest) lead: "So a little bit ago i mentioned a band name "Knightmare" as a possibility for this song. Well the band was actually called "KnyghtBlyde" (Knight Blade) and i got in contact with the daughter of the vocalist last night. I played this song for her and after some confliction/hesitation she said it is NOT her dad. The biggest thing was all of her dads songs were based of Aruthurian lore and filled with references to Camelot, Arthur, Morgana, Lancelot, Excalibur etc. Since this song has none of that, its not them. She has no idea who this is. I did a quick search "Conquest 80's metal band Texas" and found 3 results. Conquest from San Antonio, split in either '85 or '87. Conquest from Dallas, '86 - '90. Khan'quest (possibly same band as Khanquistador?), no location given but split up in '88 then reformed in 2000 then......nothing? I could not find anything about any of their songs or demos or releases or band members. But it's obvious I was thinking of the wrong Conquest bands 😂 Conquest was ruled out. Someone who owns the tape was contacted and told us this isn't them."
And he says the singer of KnyghtBlade is convinced this song is from Battallion:
"So a little bit ago I mentioned getting in contact with KnyghtBlyde singers daughter who states that this is NOT her dad. She contacted me this morning, her father thinks this song might be by a band called Battalion. But her father said Battalion also went by the name AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault (or Artillery) in their early days. According to her father AAA/Battalion were from Texas but at least 2 of their members were originally from Chicago. Has anyone ever heard of either Battalion or AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault? The closest I can say is my one supervisor at work mentioned a band Battle Battalion from Texas when he lived there."
Then someone replies to him: "you are right there is a band named Battalion formed in 1984" He says: "I cannot find a single piece of music from this particular "Battalion"? From what I could find they formed between 1983 and 1985, split, reformed under a few possible names, split, repeat. 2 people I asked did say they remember a band of some sort from "out west" Anti Aircraft A-something, but neither could give any info."
Now here, he suggests it could be a Talon song:
"So here's a potential lead for everyone: I was just playing this song for a friend who is obsessed with all metal music. She asked me "Where did you get that Talon song?" Talon was/is a German heavy metal band from the early 80's that released several demos and full on albums between '83-'89. Almost all of there songs were medieval themed, especially their 2 demos. Herr's the thing, they supposedly have 3 unnamed tracks from both demos, one allegedly called "King Slayer". I listened to a bunch of there songs and I have to say there are several songs where the singer sounds exactly like our mystery singer, but then the next song they sound nothing alike. There was one song called something like "Execution" that the opening guitar sounds like this songs opening only slower? I'm not saying it is Talon, but it is possibly something to look into or at least consider?"
He also claimed the singer sounds like Bruce Dickinson (which has been suggested many times):
"I've said many times that I personally feel this vocalist sounds extremely close to Bruce Dickinson. There is a clip of Bruce singing Tom Jones' "Delilah" on either a talk or game show, and his opening of that song is nearly identical to this Fall of the King vocals! Tone, tempo, cadence, pitch......it's really really on spot. I am NOT saying it is Bruce, I'm just saying whoever it is does a good job singing like him."
He says this song could be made by Eviscerator:
"Hello again everyone, has anyone ever heard of a band from Britain, late 70's through late 80's called "Eviscerator"? Very very long story short: I played this song at a Viking/Pagan/Neo-Folk/Black Metal "bar" about half a mile up the road from my place and the one patron who looked like Elvira and Lilith Bathory had a daughter together (HOT HOT HOT) comes over and asked me to replay it and she sang along with the recording with about %95 accuracy! Oddly, at the end after the 4 or 5 "The Fall of the King"s, she suddenly sang "The evil one now wears the crown, all hail the evil one" and head banged for a few moments. According to her, this song was by a band called "Eviscerator" and they always claimed this song was written as a pitch track for the movie Heavy Metal? I mentioned how this song by numerous accounts was recorded here in the USA in 86-87 from stations in Texas, Chicago, Cleveland, NYC and (by only one account) possibly Florida. She didn't feel there was an issue with that as stations will often play random things just to fill the spot including songs that are several years older. I asked about her added line at the end and she stated "I didn't add s*** bud, whoever recorded it must have cut it off before they got to it". I mentioned how numerous people strongly believe this is the work of Z'Rose, she said they probably covered it a bunch of times but it is not their song and even stated that this particular recording sounds like it could be them covering. She was more familiar with Z'Rose than me, she commented "The 3 Cavlaros brothers from Texas right? The singer was the oldest brother Jeff?" (I know that's not their name, i only included it for aunthenticity per context of our discussion, the last name is Cavazos and there was only 2 of them right?). She also told me Z'Rose had about a dozen other names through their years including "Gypsy Rose". I asked how she knew this British band "Eviscerator" and she answered that she lived in London from 78-85 and this song was played a lot on "amateur hour" on several stations, especially university stations. This kind of took me by surprise because i thought she looked younger than me (I'm 39) but she lived in England for college and her first husband in the late 70's??"
"In my last comments i mentioned a bar i went to was going to have a mini concert featuring bands that specialize in black metal and 80's tribute metal and i would play this song to see if any of the band peoples or concert goers would chime in. I did just that and got a few hits on the radar with a few of the band members. The one band, Inviaat, the singer says he remembers this song being played on a radio station in Philly PA for an entire summer because that station was trying to find the band. He does not remember the specific station but said it was near the Taylor University campus (my understanding is that there is several?) because the station thought it was the students from that university's music program. When i asked him when exactly that would have been he said Summer of 1983 because he was married on Halloween 1983 and was hoping the station would find the band so they could play at his wedding. A member from the local band "inductus Mortis" said he recalls that song being played "somewhere in the mid 80's" but does not remember if he heard it in Chicago or Cleveland because he bounced between them. I asked several bands, include the Venom tribute band Poisonous Whisper if anyone had ever heard of a band name Eviscerator from the 80's. Only one person thought he heard the name but it wasn't a band name it was a compilation album of NWOBHM from roughly '83-'84, but couldn't tell me anything other than that. As for the other concert goers, the #1 response i got from them was along the lines of "Dude you can sing, you should go pro!".....in other words they thought it was me promoting myself (I wish i could sing like that!!). the #2 response was people thought it was Manowar. After those 2 the guesses were the usual ones i have seen here and everywhere else this topic comes up: Blackmaine, Axis, Overkill, Overdrive, Black Sabath, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, Slayer, WitchAxe and 2 people even asked if it was an Ozzy Osbourne demo."
"I asked around, including my oldest sisters I've mentioned in my postings, about Eviscerator. The only person who heard of them, the one from this time-frame not the other 8 or 9 bands from the 2000's with that name, said they were a generic ManowaIron Maiden/Judas Priest tribute or more accurately, ripoff, band who sucked. I am not saying I buy this woman's account, but i'm also not discrediting it or calling her a liar. Her familiarity with this song and her accuracy with the lyrics makes me believe she knows this song from somewhere.....what that somewhere is, i can't comment because i don't know?"
"So far my friends and I have several "pings" to look into, the name Eviscerator has absolutely nothing from the time frame we're looking at. But there is (was?) a "Lee Lesaat" Canadian/British "mercenary" (did not belong to any band but would play for others) drummer who now lives in NYC my friends are looking into.
There is an 80's metal/black metal tribute concert this Saturday at the bar I was at last weekend. After the bands play their sets they have an open mic like set up where you can play your own music (as long as it fits the theme). I'm going to try and play this song and see if anyone, bands or crowd or food vendors etc, have any reaction.
And by "pings" I just mean responses/possible possible long shot leads. The guy or girl claiming to be a psychic vampire who time traveled and wrote this song for The Lost Boys movie is NOT going to be one of them😂"
Then someone asks: "What band is this Eviscerator ? I found a band that was formed in 2012 . Furthermore tthe song is not in the metal archives I searched through lyrics was not found." He says: "Allegedly they were in England in the 1980's, but the woman stated 2 of them had New York accents. If all of her account is true and accurate, they were NOT a professional big name band. I did find several bands with the title "Eviscerator" (in different variations) but all of them were from the 2000's. The only "pro" band with that title I could find was a Hungarian band from the mid 2000's. I asked Satanic lady if she remembered any of the other bands that played alongside "Eviscerator" and she only remembered 3: "Band-Shee" (an all female band....get it?) Gargoyle, and Werewolf Tears."
"I have a very very small update for everyone, but it's still an update nonetheless. The mystery succubus looking woman who said this song was by Eviscerator and sang along to it (even when I "accidentally" muted my phone to see if she was just repeating what she was hearing.....she was not) has been identified by my journalist friend! We are going to try and get in contact with her and see if there is anything else she can remember about "Eviscerator" that could help. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but her familiarity with this songs lyrics and the fact she sang almost in perfect synch with the beat makes me feel she really did know this song from somewhere in her past. That or she is a very good actress? Lol
I found only 1 solid, confirmed band with that name but they were from mid 2000's Hungary. But several peoples now and then tell me they remember hearing that name in the 80's as various things; crappy garage band, NWOHBM compilation album/work, some sort of event space or name, most recently someone claimed he thought it was the stage name of a singer but didn't know who or what band. I'm trying to get in touch with the woman who originally mentioned that name."
He posted this comment that lead nowhere: "2 very small updates for everyone:
1) The Viking/Pagan/Goth/Black Metal themed bar just around the corner from me is having a New Years event tomorrow night. They actually agree to give me a "booth" where i can have a "guess this song" set up. And, it will be right next to where the bands play...I'm going to be between the "stage" and the food truck lol
2) The one radio station i submitted this song to will play it on their "X hour" on 1/8/24. It is not a hugely popular segment, maybe a few hundred listeners, but it's better than nothing.
Here's to the New Year and hope this song and numerous others get solved!"
"So the station played this song Sunday night/Monday morning. They played it 4 times between 2:07am - 3:12am. They received 9 calls about it and about a dozen emails (I seriously didn't know they had an email!?!?!?). Unfortunately the majority of contacts were people either asking for them to replay it or people thinking it was Manowar. There were a few Iron Maidens and one or 2 Ozzy Osborne's. Only 2 people stated they heard this song before. Unfortunately they heard it from "some kilt wearing guy at blank bar plays it, I think it's him self promoting". Yes that's me they referenced and no it is not me singing lol"
He suggest matrixx as a possibility: "There's a band called matrixx that has been giving me interest. They were only around for two years due to financial struggles in their stage. If you look up attaxe and fiinal notice they share two members of matrixx. Their drummer and guitarist sound very similar to the band from this song. It's pretty crazy too because they have a song called defy the king. They also had a label to produce their songs which is called Suma Recording Studios. This may be the reason why the audio sounds too good for a small band. I hope that this is the band! Too many good clues that I found"
He debunks the Steven Lindfield lead: "One of the names thrown about here and there on posts about this song is a Steven Linfield ("Lindi") who bounced between Chicago and NYC in the 1980's. His alleged involvement varries between being the DJ who allegedly played it on a NYC station, to being a Chicago stations record manageclerk etc etc. I got in contact with him yesterday. He denies having ANYTHING to do with the airing of this song and does not know how or why his name came up. While he did work at 2 stations (NYC, then Chicago during the summer) he was an overnight watchman (security). However, he does recall this song being played on "some amateur hour crapshoot" in '86 in NYC a bunch of times. At that point in '86 he claims people were referencing it as "The King Song" or "The song of the King" (drawn out to match the singers "The Faaaalllll, the fall of the kiiiiiing") and it was already 2 or 3 years old at that time. He did explain that at least at the Chicago station there was an amateur drop-off slot that the dj's would pick through and play random "no namers" labeling them as "space filler". Because they would be played, literally just to fill space, they were NOT mandated to keep any records of them. Sometimes the dj's would just make up names to some of these. One of his main duties was to check the drop-off to make sure there were no bad things thrown in there instead of cassettes. Another dead end, but at least we rulled out one theory......silver lining??😂 LINDFIELD, not Linfield. Darn autocorrect on this phone."
He is convinced it's a professional band's demo: Thats why a lot people I have introduced to this song think it's a professional band, or at the extreme least an amateur band playing with top level equipment/sponsor? 1983 guy stated they sound like they have equipment his garage band "couldn't even afford to dream about looking at yet alone use". It's also one of the reasons my 2 oldest sisters insist this is a professional band (sister #1 says Manowar, #2 says Manowar or Sarissa) because there are no goofs or mistakes or errors. My sisters gave an example of a garage band from their Kutztown university days, "Freefall Abyss" that self released a demo and in one song you can hear a telephone ringing in the background and in another you can hear a fan or ac unit going.
He contacted a girl named Della: "This song was actually played on an old Philly/NJ station on the segment "Della names your tune" in 2009. I was able to get in contact with "Della" (real name withheld by her request) who at first stated "I played thousands of unnamed songs bud, I probably played this one 100 times, sorry i wont be much help" . Then a few days later replied "I do recall this one, it was sent in from a local listener who had it labeled as Dungeon Master or maybe Dragon Master on a CD with a bunch of old early Manowar, JudaPriest, Iron Maiden, Megadead, Metallica and AngelWitch songs. He or she claimed their father had this song on a tape from his college days. Nobody knew what or who it was back in '09 or '10 and as far as I know nobody figured it out when I left the program in '15." The only name she gave, and I don't know if this was even a real name or the drummers "stage name" was Leopald Lestat.........I do have 2 people looking into it (from a metal dating site of all places). Disclaimer: I know some of those bands are misspelled, I purposefully left it that way because that's how she sent it to me."
"I went down that road, you nailed it right on the head. There is no way to track down who that listener was. The only hint she had, in the form of the note attached to the CD was the person said they were from Radnor PA. I couldn't tell you because the other songs kind of bounce around in terms of year: there's a Judas Priest and an Angel Witch song both from 1980 but then there's a song from Megadeath (I believe Megadeath came out in '85?) and a Metallica song from '86? For some reason my one comment didn't show up? Della gave a pretty big hint, she said the mailing address on the CD was from Radnor PA, but the phone number included was a landline for a Chicago address. Her and the station managers assumed it was a "shadow number" and didn't bother keeping record of it. A lot of her requests had local addresses with out of state phone numbers, cellular and landline."
He suggests Dungeon Masters: "I have a potential lead, "Dungeon Masters" from Pittsburgh PA? Long story short: everyone at work talks about a "hot nerdy chick" who works at the one antique book store in town and she is a music genius and knows EVERY song people play. So i decided to test it. I played this song and she stated "I think thats Dungeon Masters, they were from my hometown of Pittsburgh PA back in the early to late 80's. Thats either Dungeon Masters or someone doing an incredible job imitating them?". Given that Cleveland is only a 2-3 hr drive from Pittsburgh (from what Steelers players say) i think this could be a possible lead and explain the Cleveland recording? Again, this is only a POSSIBLE lead, but i think it has potential?
Currently my one "source" is looking into it. He is not always accurate (as evidenced when we were looking into Conquest) but its better than nothing."
And someone adds this: "Della said the same Dungeon Masters so better look into it"
But he says this: "Close, "Della" stated the listener who sent in the CD had this song labeled as "Dungeon Master?", not a band name. But I am looking into it as best as I can. I found a Pittsburgh band "Dungeon" but they're NOT metal they're an Omnia/Faun like band (neo-folk I think is the term?) formed in 2018. I sent word out to the people I know and my "team". Now it is a waiting game."

Previous Entry
Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?