Evangelicals, in your sermons and in your preaching's you try to lead us to the Lord. And to your credit you tailor your missives toward the children, for it is there you will find open minds untainted by hate, prejudice, and malice.

You regale them with Biblical tales reflecting right over might, the virtue of truth and honesty, and the rewards of a moral life.
All the while you are doing these admirable things you are also very vocal in support of Trump.
But beware of minefields.
When lecturing on morality you might want to leave out the part about Trump having more whores than Lindsey Graham has homosexual lovers, or his conviction of being guilty of molestation of helpless women; when waxing on the values of honesty you might want to omit tales of Trump's convictions for tax evasion and attempts to swindle our government; when instructing on civic matters I suggest you gloss over Trump's effort to set aside the Constitution and attempts to overthrow the government of the United States; when teaching of patriotism and love of America you might want to forget how Trump stole our most vital defense secrets and while in possession of them his son-in-law suddenly received two billion dollars from an Arab state because-- well, we don't know why, do we?
And perhaps we shouldn't try and tell the kiddies Jesus sent us a repentant sinner to make America great again. Does Trump look repentant to you? Though convicted by a jury of honest Americans he still denies his crimes, he snarls and hurls insults at our sacred institutions, and vows to take revenge against his political enemies. He has called for the execution of his own military leaders, reviled almost every former aide and advisor, asked why legitimate dissidents shouldn't be shot down in the street, why immigrants and petty thieves shouldn't be murdered where they stood, and hints our current legitimately elected president should be sent to the electric chair.
Is this the role model you want for your children? They aren't stupid, they hear things, they know the truth, and do you dare risk reaping what you sow?

"The Castleton Affair: Book 3" by Benedict Brown is a fascinating mystery thriller that continues the narrative of Detective Inspector Nicholas Lowry as he investigates a difficult and twisted case in the charming town of Castleton.
In this part, Lowry finds himself engaged in a high-stakes investigation involving a series of interconnected crimes, including a horrible murder, a daring theft, and a web of deceit and betrayal. As he looks more into the case, Lowry uncovers stunning truths and hidden motivations, sending him down a hazardous path where nothing is as it seems.
Brown's storytelling skills emerges in "The Castleton Affair," weaving together several storyline lines with ease and precision. The narrative is loaded with dramatic twists and turns, keeping readers wondering until the very end. The author brilliantly creates tension and suspense, generating a sense of urgency that carries the plot forward at a quick speed.
One of the book's highlights is its well-drawn characters, each with their own agendas and secrets. Lowry is a compelling protagonist, with his acute mind and persistent persistence propelling the inquiry ahead. The supporting cast is similarly compelling, from the enigmatic femme fatale to the ethically dubious suspects, giving depth and complexity to the narrative.
The dramatic setting of Castleton provides richness and dimension to the plot, acting as a backdrop for the unfolding drama and intrigue. Brown's descriptive style brings the village to life, producing a feeling of place that immerses readers in its quaint charm and sinister underside.
While "The Castleton Affair" is a fascinating mystery novel, some readers may believe that the resolution of certain plot points appears rushed or unduly convenient. Additionally, newbies to the series may struggle to completely appreciate the complexities of the characters and their interactions without having read the prior works.
Overall, "The Castleton Affair: Book 3" is a riveting and atmospheric mystery story that will capture followers of the genre. Brown's brilliant storytelling, interesting characters, and evocative setting make this volume a great addition to the Detective Inspector Nicholas Lowry series.
Listen for free with a free trial of Audible at freeaudiobookstrial .com

Supposedly it'd always been this way, stretching way back to when my Grandpa opened this place almost 97 years ago. I inherited it when he passed a decade or so ago given that my father didn't want anything to do with the place, and since then I've made sure to diligently follow his final wish.
He might've left me the theater, but there was one condition. Not that it'd be enforceable if I went against his wish - more about that later - but the condition was present nonetheless.
Never, ever let the film stop running in Screen 6.
Now, I'd practically grown up in that theater given it was a nice little hang-out spot after closing time - but I never knew anything about the existence of a sixth screen. It had always been five. Grandpa left that sentence and a little picture guide to find the controls for that screen as well as the security footage system for it. He also left a letter, only to be opened once I had been running the theatre for long enough to understand the importance of Screen 6. It baffled me at the time, but I kept that wish too and tucked the letter away. He never told me where to find the screen itself, either. The first thing I did was check the cameras, only to find they showed nothing of interest. No movie-goers were present in this secret little screen, nor were any employees. The black and white footage from the vantage point of a camera positioned above the screen of a silent, empty room filled with rows and rows and endless rows of dusty chairs stared back at me. Somehow it was larger than all of our other screens. After unlocking the neat little contraption he described, I realised the system for that screen was digital. "Huh, strange" I mumbled given the fact our theater was always quite proud of being the only film-only establishment in town.
I suppose digital files make running the screen endlessly an easier task. Something jumped out at me, though. The digital file being used to loop over and over was just that, a singular file. It wasn't cycling through a library of movies. The same one was playing over. And over. The file name?
"sacrifice.mxf"
I've always been a curious person, and part of me wanted to resist. Some instinct was screaming at me to stop. But I couldn't. I had to take a glimpse at the little outdated screen synced up to the projector. It was grainy and degraded, footage that looked like it had been shot in the mid-20th century or so. A group of men dressed in black and women dressed in white circled a tree with interlocked hands. They looked like they were speaking. Maybe singing. Regardless, there was no audio. They went round and round this great old tree for what felt like forever, before stopping in their tracks and just standing there for a minute or two. The footage cut an unspecified amount of time forward to reveal their black and white garments blowing in the wind as they hung from various branches of the tree. All of them. It didn't matter that there wasn't any audio, I could feel the silence seeping out of that screen.
Cut to black.
Part of me was horrified, and another part retained some morbid sense of fascination with what I'd seen. I wasn't planning on going against Grandpa's wishes anyway, but at least I'd seen something that spooked me enough to justify the strangeness of it all. Was that the entire film that had been playing over and over for god knows how long? How was such a massive auditorium just hidden away somewhere? What the fuck was that video?
I needed to find out. God, I wish I hadn't. But I did.
The next few weeks were spent meticulously researching everything I could possibly find about our little family-owned theater. My little theater. I spent hours on end in that projector room trying to make sense of what was being played. The footage described above wasn't alone but remained similar to the others I've since seen. All feature large groups of people in what looks like pre-war Europe. 1930 or so is my best guess. They start off peaceful enough, almost joyous, but I've learned by now to reject the faux happiness depicted. It grabs a hold of you before the violent sacrifices that soon follow rip your heart out. Sometimes I wonder about the people shown. There are so many of them across the different short films, probably more than I've known in my entire lifetime. All of them met such a gruesome end. It might sound easy to throw away their collective existence as mere pixels on a screen, but I can't.
The local newspaper allowed me access to their archive to find out a little more, and things began to tie themselves together. I had to sift through cardboard box after cardboard box to find what I'd been looking for, but I eventually did. Back in 1931, there had been an awful incident at our theater. At the time it was owned by Grandpa, and things were looking up given it was the only establishment of its kind in town - unfortunately something terrible was to happen soon. It was a cool October evening when local police were alerted to a disturbance down at the movie theater by terrified patrons. You see, back then there was a screen 6. Nestled right next to screen 5, it was the focal selling point as a state-of-the-art screen showing only the finest films. Those in screen 5 began to realise something was badly wrong when the sound of an incessantly crying and screaming child began to drown out the more pleasant sound of their film. "The Talkies", as films with spoken audio were known in their 1930s heyday, were a phenomenon and it took a lot to distract those in screen 5 from their entertainment. The child screamed for as long as it could until annoyance turned to worry and eventually fear.
By the time police swung open the double doors to Screen 6, the leather white seats were soaked in crimson red blood and the patrons inside had long since taken their last breaths.
Except one.
Still the child screamed.
I've always been open-minded when it comes to the unseen, not a believer per se, but not dismissive of the idea. Things began to come into a clearer focus. Hundreds of people had sacrificed themselves in that screen all those years ago, and now the screen is forever condemned to forever playing films of similar occurrences. The two had to be connected.
The letter.
It was time to open the letter. I was convinced I satisfied Grandpa's requirement for doing so, and it would fill in the parts of this deranged story I was missing. I slipped the letter out of its glum, off-white envelope and began to read.
"To my beloved Grandson,
By now you probably know much more about the story of our little theater than you did when I left it to you. I'm sorry it took until we were separated for you to learn the truth, but it was something that had to be done. Those people that are in the films playing on Screen 6 were part of an ancient cult. The Men of Mephistopheles they called themselves. They would live in communes and the peaceful images you've come to see are of their day-to-day lives, and as you have also come to see they would eventually offer themselves en masse in blood sacrifices. One of these sacrifices happened to take place in Screen 6 of our theater, and once again I'm sure you have come to learn of this given you are reading this letter.
The locations in which these sacrifices take place are forever bound to the souls lost there in some form or another. To illustrate, that great big tree in one of the films is now the site of countless suicides. Their crime? Daring to walk where the Men of Mephistopheles once walked, and where they left this Earth. Our particular curse happens to be that Screen 6 began to be the site of similar suicides, and so did our other screens. We could never figure out why they weren't contained to the immediate site of the original sacrifice, but needed to find a way to stop them. Times were tough, and the money the theater brought in was important to all of our lives. An occultist suggested the endless film screening as a way to stem the flow whilst we found a more permanent solution, but before long we realised it stopped the awful goings-on entirely. So we let the films play and then play some more. Screen 6 had originally been downstairs since the building only allowed for that kind of space down there, so we turned it into a tomb. Maybe the misguided souls lost there found some peace in the dusty catacomb of a theater left behind.
Now if you know the story of the sacrifice at our theater, you know there was a singular child who survived it all.
That child?
Your father.
I'm so sorry for keeping the truth locked away from you the way I did, you deserved to know whilst I was still there with you. Please know I only ever had your best interests at heart.
I love you always,
Poppy"
It's been a few weeks since I found out the truth about our small-town theater. Sleeping has been difficult because of the endless nightmares, as has bothering to keep up maintenance of the place.
Still, though, the film on Screen 6 plays.

In the annals of history, Blackwood Manor stands as a monument to the darker facets of human ambition and the unyielding allure of the unknown. Its story begins in a time when the land was still wild, and the forests whispered secrets known only to the ancient trees. Lord Nathaniel Blackwood, a figure cloaked in mystery and shadow, emerged from the depths of obscurity to carve his legacy upon the landscape.
Some whispered that Lord Blackwood was a sorcerer of unparalleled power, while others speculated that he had made a Faustian bargain with the very forces of darkness that lurked beyond the veil of mortal understanding. Regardless of the truth, one thing was certain: Lord Blackwood's ambitions knew no bounds, and he spared no expense in the construction of his grand estate.
Blackwood Manor rose from the earth like a specter of the night, its towering spires reaching towards the heavens and casting ominous shadows across the surrounding countryside. Its walls, adorned with intricate carvings and mysterious symbols, seemed to pulse with a malevolent energy that sent shivers down the spines of those who dared to approach.
As the years passed, tales of Blackwood Manor spread like wildfire through the nearby villages, each whispered rumor adding another layer of fear and superstition to its already ominous reputation. Stories of strange lights flickering in the windows at night, of eerie chants echoing through the forest, and of travelers who vanished without a trace after daring to approach its gates became the stuff of legend, woven into the very fabric of the region's folklore.
But perhaps the most chilling legend of all was that of the curse said to haunt Blackwood Manor and all who dared to set foot within its walls. It was said that those who entered the mansion were doomed to never leave, their souls forever bound to its twisted corridors and shadowy chambers, forced to wander its halls for all eternity.
Despite the passage of centuries, Blackwood Manor remained standing, a silent sentinel in the heart of the wilderness, its secrets hidden behind locked doors and shuttered windows, waiting for the brave or foolhardy soul who dared to uncover them.
And so, the legend of Blackwood Manor endured, a dark reminder of the dangers that lurked in the shadows and the allure of the unknown. For as long as the mansion stood, so too would the whispers of its haunted history echo through the ages, drawing adventurers and thrill-seekers alike into its depths, where mysteries waited to be unraveled and darkness lay in wait around every corner.

^{In this episode of Q&Q with Cybersurf we take a look at another empty platitude folks will throw around under the guise of wisdom, awakening or - dare I say it - Truth Realization.}

"Stop hating yourself for guilt blaming others!"

Of course what this particular Patronizing Saint does not realize is that he is talking to (and at, and from) the very Self he is pretending to have transcended. It get's worse with gems like "Be compassionate to yourself. It is ok." but I digress. The gist of it is of course promoting self-healing and not self-transcendence under the guise of Awakening.
It cannot be done. It really pains me to keep repeating the same words but your skulls are literally that thick by this point in the whole self erected self perpetuated 'community driven' circus act of false awakening talk.
What folks hate (and fear) the most while dreaming their lives away is some real Truth Talk. On top of that they love to play these semantic games never realizing that 'Truth Talk' is all that is possible from within the dreamstate. That even as I speak/write/pontificate I am rubbing these throat noise together we have all agreed upon should mean this or that or the other thing.
The reading in between the line is actually where all the magic happens. Or - in the case of this sub - where it never seems to be happening at all. For the fast majority of non-so-serious seekers holding themselves and others down in a two dimensional graphite-like bond. Imagine trying to rip a piece of Graphite with your supposed bare hands. Good luck! ;;)

"letting go of this hate of other people is hard!"

It sure is, but nor for the reasons you might believe. Who is there letting go of what exactly? How many of you are in there. What is the mechanism behind this split identity talking to itself, holding shit tight.. with what!? hands? What? It is simply impossible to 'let go' of something you are not holding with hands it does not even have. You are investing everything in a case of mistaken identity and the Patronizing Saint is going to cater to it with his own case of mistaken identity he crowned 'wise'... or compassionate.. or 'understanding'. It's a self perpetuating circus act of tear jerking nonsense.
Well it is if your aim is to awaken. If you are actually discussing these things with the intent implied in the very words. To actually make an honest effort to get on top of Self not underneath it for a lifetime. What a waste. No really. To stop looking for crutches or that next pat on the back on account of your crocodile tear jerker.
THIS IS LITERALLY THE VERY BEDROCK OF NON-DUALITY YOU CHOSE TO IGNORE.
I'm not even trying to sell you about some proprietary version of Truth or Truth Realization or self inquiry here at all.. It is 'YOU' who are whipping up one. Acting all enlightened and claiming nonsense about the whole damn thing. You let ego run the show and so of course it will do you like that. With great fervor as well it will go about knitting that rug of illusion and pull it from under you 365 times a day. With giddy delight! It's not even evil as such. Just the way this reality works. It will go as far as feeling sorry for itself too if that is needed 'while doing it' ....this is the podium where the 'teacher-student' monkey dance of epic proportion is carried out actually... where one dreamer will tell the other to "chill out.." ;;)
HOW DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT IT IS YOU ARE ALL PRETENDING SO HARD NOT TO KNOW?
Just drop the fucking charade already. ;;)

"Be compassionate to yourself. It is ok!"

There it is; incessant patronizing. But are you even awaken yourself friend? No. Still you want to dole out these Mickey Mouse tips? I don't get it.
Keep patting everyone on the back with some soothing narrative of "it's okay buddy' this is exactly what Maya WANTS you to be doing.
There is no one there to hate another. Even when you manage to turn the Hate Ship around; that would still be the you that is not you at all. But now you have some virtues ...or so you believe. Now you are 'healed' or so you believe. Now you are ...A GOOD PERSON (as opposed to no-person at all).
Now you have another notch on the very belt that was already choking the life out of you.
It is no use. In the context of awakening we don't prop up the dream nor the dreamer.. Not before and certainly not 'after'. I'm looking at you 'Buddhists' ;;)
You don't prop up the dream nor the dreamer: we SLAY IT!
Then life will stand explained. Whatever is left there is simply the natural functioning and rhythm.. and 'righteousness' of the organism. It does not need 'you'. A name will do. A place 'to belong' will do. Food, clothing and shelter is all it ever needs. Anything beyond that is where the organism ends its sphere of influence and is actually the beginning of Self delusion. The birth of tumors on the ego. Outgrowths that WANT all kinds of nonsense. Believe all kinds of BS... NEEDS all kinds of things that are not needed at all. EVER.
It is ego that loves virtue, to preach to talk morals, ethics and whatnot. It is ego that exalts the guru and declares some teaching sacred. ALWAYS. You have no idea of how it is intertwined with Maya's power.
Her favorite puppets of them all is these spiritual puppets. Because they have 'the power' to drag other's down to their sub-level and beat them with 'spiritual experience' ..there. Collective 'Sue Icide' sold as a virtue. Lemmings headed for the cliff. In droves.
I don't understand how the gist of you are still talking the same nonsense in the context of awakening year after year in here. Why are you so stagnant? How come there is not a even a shoe lace dropping.. How many left turns do you have to make to see that you are lost in a maze of Self?
Just take the biggest L of them all on your so supposed chin and you may start to awaken for real.
Cheers

^{In this episode of Q&Q with Cybersurf we take a look at another empty platitude folks will throw around under the guise of wisdom, awakening or - dare I say it - Truth Realization.}

"Stop hating yourself for guilt blaming others"

Of course what this particular Patronizing Saint does not realize is that he is talking to (and at, and from) the very Self he is pretending to have transcended. It get's worse with gems like "Be compassionate to yourself. It is ok." but I digress. The gist of it is of course promoting self-healing and not self-transcendence under the guise of Awakening.
It cannot be done. It really pains me to keep repeating the same words but your skulls are literally that thick by this point in the whole self erected self perpetuated 'community driven' circus act of false awakening talk.
What folks hate (and fear) the most while dreaming their lives away is some real Truth Talk. On top of that they love to play these semantic games never realizing that 'Truth Talk' is all that is possible from within the dreamstate. That even as I speak/write/pontificate I am rubbing these throat noise together we have all agreed upon should mean this or that or the other thing.
The reading in between the line is actually where all the magic happens. Or - in the case of this sub - where it never seems to be happening at all. For the fast majority of non-so-serious seekers holding themselves and others down in a two dimensional graphite-like bond. Imagine trying to rip a piece of Graphite with your supposed bare hands. Good luck! ;;)

"letting go of this hate of other people is hard!"

It sure is, but nor for the reasons you might believe. Who is there letting go of what exactly? How many of you are in there. What is the mechanism behind this split identity talking to itself, holding shit tight.. with what!? hands? What? It is simply impossible to 'let go' of something you are not holding with hands it does not even have. You are investing everything in a case of mistaken identity and the Patronizing Saint is going to cater to it with his own case of mistaken identity he crowned 'wise'... or compassionate.. or 'understanding'. It's a self perpetuating circus act of tear jerking nonsense.
Well it is if your aim is to awaken. If you are actually discussing these things with the intent implied in the very words. To actually make an honest effort to get on top of Self not underneath it for a lifetime. What a waste. No really. To stop looking for crutches or that next pat on the back on account of your crocodile tear jerker.
THIS IS LITERALLY THE VERY BEDROCK OF NON-DUALITY YOU CHOSE TO IGNORE.
I'm not even trying to sell you about some proprietary version of Truth or Truth Realization or self inquiry here at all.. It is 'YOU' who are whipping up one. Acting all enlightened and claiming nonsense about the whole damn thing. You let ego run the show and so of course it will do you like that. With great fervor as well it will go about knitting that rug of illusion and pull it from under you 365 times a day. With giddy delight! It's not even evil as such. Just the way this reality works. It will go as far as feeling sorry for itself too if that is needed 'while doing it' ....this is the podium where the 'teacher-student' monkey dance of epic proportion is carried out actually... where one dreamer will tell the other to "chill out.." ;;)
HOW DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT IT IS YOU ARE ALL PRETENDING SO HARD NOT TO KNOW?
Just drop the fucking charade already. ;;)

"Be compassionate to yourself. It is ok!"

There it is again; incessant patronizing. But are you even awaken yourself friend? No. Still you want to dole out these Mickey Mouse tips? I don't get it.
Keep patting everyone on the back with some soothing narrative of "it's okay buddy' this is exactly what Maya WANTS you to be doing.
There is no one there to hate another. Even when you manage to turn the Hate Ship around; that would still be the you that is not you at all. But now you have some virtues ...or so you believe. Now you are 'healed' or so you believe. Now you are ...A GOOD PERSON (as opposed to no-person at all).
Now you have another notch on the very belt that was already choking the life out of you.
It is no use. In the context of awakening we don't prop up the dream nor the dreamer.. Not before and certainly not 'after'. I'm looking at you 'Buddhists' ;;)
You don't prop up the dream nor the dreamer: we SLAY IT!
Then life will stand explained. Whatever is left there is simply the natural functioning and rhythm.. and 'righteousness' of the organism. It does not need 'you'. A name will do. A place 'to belong' will do. Food, clothing and shelter is all it ever needs. Anything beyond that is where the organism ends its sphere of influence and is actually the beginning of Self delusion. The birth of tumors on the ego. Outgrowths that WANT all kinds of nonsense. Believe all kinds of BS... NEEDS all kinds of things that are not needed at all. EVER.
It is ego that loves virtue, to preach to talk morals, ethics and whatnot. It is ego that exalts the guru and declares some teaching sacred. ALWAYS. You have no idea of how it is intertwined with Maya's power.
Her favorite puppets of them all is these spiritual puppets. Because they have 'the power' to drag other's down to their sub-level and beat them with 'spiritual experience' ..there. Collective 'Sue Icide' sold as a virtue. Lemmings headed for the cliff. In droves.
I don't understand how the gist of you are still talking the same nonsense in the context of awakening year after year in here. Why are you so stagnant? How come there is not a even a shoe lace dropping.. How many left turns do you have to make to see that you are lost in a maze of Self?
Just take the biggest L of them all on your so supposed chin and you may start to awaken for real.
Cheers

Wife asked for a divorce after 18 years...I begged, pleaded, and would have completely subjugated myself to anything she wanted in order to keep her and keep my family together. I spent 2 months dedicating my life to trying to get her to stay while crying myself to sleep at night...only for her to continue browbeating me about how all of our issues were my fault and there was nothing I could do to keep her.
Little did I know at the time that she had been hiding multiple affairs...at least one of which was still ongoing. I found out about them. She finally moved out on her own...leaving me alone to raise our child, take care of the pets (that only she wanted at the time) and take care of all of the other responsibilities that come with running a household. She wanted to "find her happiness"...because "YOLO" and other generic female-empowerment platitudes.
It was at this point that I spiraled and hit rock bottom. I texted her repeatedly and tried to get her back. More begging. More pleading. More rejection. I toyed with moving overseas and never returning. I had momentary suicidal ideations...and expressed this to her over text. Her response? Silence. She literally didn't do anything in response...and frankly, that's what snapped me out of it. I finally came to the realization that the person who was my partner in life was not there for me anymore. It was on me, and me alone to move forward, take charge, and get my shit together.
I started working out. Started eating better. Started taking care of myself like I never had. I even started a skincare routine (I know...wtf?). I started trimming and grooming my beard rather than just looking like I didn't want to shave. I've lost 25 lbs (and counting). My confidence began to return. My daughter said I was conducting a "glow up".
During this time (about 3 months), the STBXW and I were largely cordial. Her saying that she wanted to be "friends"...but no indication whatsoever that she was having second thoughts or that she wanted to potentially reconcile. She said she was happy I was doing better...and actually apologized for the affairs (but nothing more). I told her I forgave her and I was ready to move on.
At the prodding of some close friends...I joined a couple of dating sites. I had low expectations and was truthful about my separation, but I wanted to see what the experience was like. To my surprise...I actually had luck. I'm tall, moderately good looking, successful, and generally a likeable guy. I think I had forgotten about that after all these years. I had my first date in person last week. She's beautiful, wildly successful, and was so easy to talk to. I honestly don't know if we're compatible or if it will go anywhere further...but just the fact that this wonderful woman willingly spent 3+ hours with me, laughing and talking, did wonders for my confidence. I smiled more on that day than I had in a long time.
Yesterday, our daughter received an award at school. There was a ceremony for her and all of the other recipients. The STBXW met at my house and we drove over together. We talked a bit...and she mentioned that our daughter told her that I went out "with a friend" last week. I wasn't trying to hide anything, so I confirmed that. She asked if it was a date...and I said yes, it was. Immediately, the accusations started. I was now a hypocrite because I'm a cheater just like she was. It said "a lot" about me how I was able to move on so quickly. I declined to tell her about my date. Where we met, what her name was, etc. I wanted to establish boundaries.
Then...the waterworks started. She cried. And sobbed...and refused to look at me. We went in to the awards ceremony...and she cried through the entire thing. Making a low-key scene. I tried to ask her if she was ok...and she quickly pulled away from me and refused any conversation. After the ceremony, she insisted that we go straight home so that she could leave.
So, yeah...I guess I'm not allowed to be happy. Not allowed to move on and find MY happiness. I'm supposed to remain a pathetic cuckold just on the off chance she suddenly changes her mind. Well...whatever...I actually have two more dates lined up this week with two other equally beautiful and successful women. Hopefully one of them is what I'm looking for....because YOLO!

I (F30) became friends with a group of girls at school at age 12. We were all very different and never had the feeling of actually being seen, heard or understood. I was into books and sports, they were into make up and boys. I do not remember having an interesting conversation, and if we had, it was the exception not the rule.
I should start by saying that there is a clear difference between an acquaintance and a friend, but what I am referring to is something in between: more than an acquaintance yet not a friend. For friend is a very profound and meaningful word that does not apply to the relationships I am referring to yet we've known each other for over 20 years.
As we aged, we followed our own paths in life. They stayed in the city where we met and were not particularly intellectually curious, while I moved to another country and consciously focused on my intellectual and emotional development.
Now that I am back in our country, I find these relationships uninteresting and rather toxic. They are still the type that sees someone wearing unusual clothes and will instinctively laugh at this person or make a comment and even take a picture, which I find rather disrespectful.
As arrogant as it sounds, I'm well above all this and can only feel but love and admiration for those who dare to be different. I also don't assign them a value or identity based on behaviour. These people are just not there.
While we live in the same country, we've been living in different cities. This made it quite easy. In the move, they never reached out to see if I was okay and I think that it was because in our last meet up, I was quite off and when asked, I mentioned that I just couldn't help but feel that the conversations were not interesting and found that laughing and taking a picture of a person and their looks is disrespectful. They said it is common to have meaningless conversations when in group, but the truth is that some of the best conversations I've had were in group. We are simply in very different platforms in life.
Perhaps as a result, they didn't reach out to me to see how the move went and have pulled away. I am very happy about this, in the sense that I feel freed from social conventions and obligations that are no longer healthy for me. In fact, looking back, these relationships never were, but still they were meaningful and I care about them, I don't want to hurt them.
I will be back in their city and feel obliged to inform them and join their outings. When the truth is that I don't want to. Partly because I don't want to feel the discomfort of seeing them but also because my time would be better employed elsewhere.
I love them the same and I am here to help them but I have very little time since I work long hours and the little I have I just don't want to share it with them.
How would you go about this so that they do not feel traumatised about the let go?
I would love to learn from your experiences and perspectives.
Thanks very much.

The Scriptures seem to imply that the kingdom of God isn't exactly synonymous with what is called "the Church." The Church was a temporary eschatological community of believers that existed on earth in preparation of a kingdom where God Himself would reign, and said community had Christ reign over them in the meantime. The head of the Church was Christ, with the Father serving as his head (1 Cor. 11:3). The Scriptures teach that, when all Christ's enemies were to be made his footstool, he was to give back all authority to the Father (Psa. 110:1, 1 Cor. 15:22-28), and it is this page's belief that this happened in 70 AD.
The following quotation is from the above hyperlink:

As for the "1000 years" mentioned in Revelation, they are apocalyptic metaphor for the 40 years Christ "reigned" (triumphed) over his enemies both human and spirit, with the final triumph being the judgement of apostate Jerusalem. The "1000 years" began with his ascension, and ended with this judgement.

Thus, the community to replace the Church on earth was to be the kingdom of God. But, what even is the kingdom of God, and why did God have to reclaim authority of His own creation in the first place?
To be as succinct as possible: man sinned, and so the great level of authority God initially granted us ourselves over the creation was stripped. As a result, the human condition has suffered and it must be redeemed for God to allow us to reign with Him in the way that He originally intended for us. God has always been sovereign, of course, but He seeks the good of man to make us stewards over His world with Him, as that was His original plan and this was His original view of what a kingdom of His truly looks like: a kingdom characterized by man's love for Him and love for others.
A Biblical understanding of Adam's sin, contrary to popular thought, isn't that we are guilty of what he did personally. We simply inherit his fallen nature and a fallen world as a result of his sin, the same way a baby could leave the womb already addicted to certain substances because the mother abused said substances while pregnant. It's not the baby's fault for its condition, it was the parent's. But the baby is born with this condition and enters the world like this nonetheless.
The implication of this is that we are all only guilty of our own sins, and whether or not we ever seek to treat (or possibly cure) our condition in the first place is on us. We were dealt a bad hand due to Adam, sure, but God doesn't hold us responsible for what our forefather did. God only holds us responsible for what we do, and whether or not we seek to be liberated from the dark forces which keep us in bondage to our sinful condition (Gen. 4:6-7, Deut. 24:16, Jer. 31:30, Ezek. 18, Matt. 9:9-13).
The whole Old Testament is essentially a record of God's people constantly breaking their covenant(s) with Him. There are individuals mentioned throughout that were, of course, commended by God and the Biblical authors for their righteousness in honestly pursuing to remain faithful to their covenant with Him. But even the best of these people often faltered and, in fact, did rather heinous things in their lives at one point or another. One of the greatest examples of this is king David, who was literally called by the Scriptures "a man after God's own heart" (1 Sam. 13:14, Acts 13:22). Yet, this same man at one point committed adultery and then murdered the man he stole the wife of to try and cover it up. This was a heinous thing, and David repented of what he did with genuine sorrow and guilt toward God. God ultimately forgave him, but not without a heavy hand of chastisement and earthly consequences for his actions.
All throughout the Old Testament, you see various men of God who were deemed righteous, but these same men were usually shown to have some major flaw that prevented them from living a life that could be characterized as consistent obedience to the commandments to love God and love others as themselves. There is something deeply wrong with man's heart, according to the Bible. Something so wrong, in fact, that a whole prophecy had to be given that promised to address the issue of man's seeming incapability to accomplish fulfilling the commandment to love consistently on their own without some sort of divine help from above:

"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh."-Ezekiel 36:26

Naturalistic philosophies see the physical world as all that exists. Humans beings are the result of mindless, chance causes and processes. Humans are essentially animals – highly evolved, but no different in significance than any other living thing. Thus naturalistic views demote humans. But this view leaves a lot unexplained. Why do humans practice altruism, benevolence, or acts of heroism? And what explains acts of incredible evil? Sure, naturalistic arguments have been made that true altruism doesn't exist, and that "unconditional love" is really just an illusion that's been disguised very well by our survival instincts that we've developed over a long period of time at certain stages of our evolutionary process. However, many people have found such arguments to be unpersuasive and naive when compared to their actual experience of the world as they mature in their lives and have what they know to be truly meaningful experiences that can't simply be reduced in the way that the naturalist wishes them to be. This realization was ultimately why I transitioned from hard atheism to agnostic spiritualism at one point or another.
On the other extreme of these things, transcendental worldviews and philosophies say that the physical world is illusory. Only the spiritual world is ultimately real. Humans are an expression of the divine spirit that is the essence of all things. If naturalistic views demote humans to the level of animals, transcendental views promote human beings. God is not “out there” somewhere; we are God. God is all, thus God is us. But this view doesn’t explain real evil. Why are people selfish? Why do they hurt others? What accounts for personal acts of evil like rape or terrorism? If we are all truly "God," then why would we ever do such things to what is ultimately "ourself"? And why can't a person who practices the belief that we are all actually "God" be only loving? There are so many people who adopt this view of reality who are constantly, day by day, finding that they struggle to be as truly loving as they wish to be because they will still sometimes find themselves thinking and doing rather evil and selfish things. I can speak from experience here, remembering throwing myself into the New Age movement when I was desperately seeking what I did not know at the time was forgiveness for and redemption from my sins because of who I was as a person up until that point. I was seeking the mythic "ego death" that promised me that I could truly be loving and find the forgiveness and redemption I was searching for, because I thought that if only I truly realized I was "God" all along, I could then accomplish these things all at once and simultaneously. I eventually found even this philosophy unsatisfactory when I came to the aforementioned conclusions concerning our great capacity for evil, and also realized that forgiveness can only exist if there are two parties: forgiver and forgivee. Such a thing is impossible if there is only really one being at play at the bottom of reality, and I knew deep down that forgiving oneself (at least, on its own) will never satisfy one's pursuit for redemption that we all inherently take part in whenever pursuing to mend even our own relationships with each other as humans. Further, love would be an illusion in this philosophy too, being that there is only really one party behind and in all of existence if "everything is God." Such an idea would make true altruism a farce, as well. There would be no such thing as real sacrifice for another, because there is no "another."
The French mathematician and Christian philosopher Blaise Pascal said, “Man’s greatness and wretchedness are so evident that the true religion must necessarily teach both.” Any philosophy that cannot fully account for human greatness and human depravity at the same time should be abandoned because it misses something obvious about the human condition. The religion of the Bible has a valid explanation for human greatness: people are made in God’s image. Thus we have dignity, value, and capacity for good. The Bible also explains human evil: the image of God has been defaced by sin. Our great capacity gets used for the wrong purposes. Our creativity is placed in the service of evil and our best intentions twisted for selfish gain. Something has gone terribly wrong. While other worldviews unduly demote or promote humanity, the Bible gets the tension just right.
Thus, human nature is puzzling and conflicting. Other worldviews—both secular and religious—struggle to account for this enigma, and don't offer satisfying solutions to the problem itself. The Bible, however, explains what happened when it tells us that man rebelled against God in the paradise that was prepared for him called "the Garden of Eden." We fell into temptation and estranged ourselves from God by tarnishing the image we were created in, and now are born with a natural proclivity to do evil, despite our best efforts to do good (that is, to do good consistently).
And so, the Bible promised a solution in the prophet Ezekiel that God will literally change our natural human condition, if we simply choose to humble ourselves before Him in faith to allow for such a change. While as unbelievers our inner disposition towards God is often rebellious, we at least still have the capacity to choose to do the righteous thing in seeking God that He may change us and forgive us if we so let Him. This is one reason why Jesus, (the one who made the fulfillment of Ezekiel's prophecy even possible by his coming, sacrifice, ressurection, and outpouring of the Spirit upon his ascension), said that only faith the size of a mustard seed was required for something so miraculous as moving a mountian to happen, because so little is required from us to allow God to change us into the kind of person He's always wanted us to be, and yet changing the condition of our own heart can be compared to literally moving a mountain if we were to try and do so on our own strength alone. The mustard seed was the smallest of seeds, and yet if one simply planted it and nurtured it, it could become a bush so large that it was comparable to a tree with branches that stretched to the heavens for the very birds of the air to rest on.
It was when I came to these realizations that I prayed to God for the first time again, having been years since I did so, going so far back as to when I was a little child even. I prayed in the dead of night in my room, and asked God to show me the truth and to reveal Himself to me if indeed these things were true, and in an instant I felt His very presence in my room, and my heart was changed. To describe such an experience would be like trying to describe the taste of something to the man born without tastebuds, the color of something to the man born blind, or the sound of something to the man born deaf; there are no words, and it is only something you can know by experiencing it for yourself. Suddenly and all at once, I knew right then and there that Jesus really was who he said he was, that the one true God is the God of the Bible, and that I have been forgiven. As the time of this post, it's been 5 years since then, I'm 23 now, and I'm still walking with God.
My prayer for anyone reading this that may not know God for themselves yet is that one day, you will too.
Back to the topic at hand.
When Adam sinned, we fell under the tyranny of death, corruption, evil heavenly powers, and sin itself. When Jesus came, Jesus was the new and exalted human, the new Adam, through whom humanity could now realize their original destiny that was laid out for them in the Garden of Eden. Because Jesus, being a man, obeyed unto death, he has defeated the powers which held us so long under bondage; we are now promised liberation so long as we simply place our faith in his sacrifice to wash us of our sins and receive the Spirit of God that is also promised to all who exercise this faith.
We often think of ‘the gospel’ as the part that brings the forgiveness of sins (and of course, that is part of the idea), but ‘gospel’ is the announcement that everything has changed in the coming of Jesus and it leads us to a new kind of living.
The gospel Jesus preached and the gospel the apostle Paul preached were different, in that Jesus preached of a kingdom where God reigns directly and with all His faithful subjects as participants in that reign. The gospel Paul preached was about the exaltation and reign of Christ, and because Christ reigned, the consummation of the kingdom of God with earth could now finally take place (Col. 1:12-13). This consummation was put on hold during Christ's "millennial" reign, which transpired between his ascension and his return. However, the consummation has come to full fruition since that return.
We will be arguing for some of these claims by pointing out how central the kingdom of God actually was to Jesus' earthly ministry and message, and demonstrate what Jesus taught about how it actually looks like.
The term 'kingdom' appears 53 times in 42 places in Matthew, 17 times in 13 places in Mark, and 41 times in 29 places in Luke. When the 'kingdom' is qualified, Luke always refers to the 'kingdom of God' (32 times) and Mark follows this pattern (14 times). Matthew, on the other hand, prefers the term "kingdom of heaven" (31 times), using the phrase to refer to the same idea "kingdom of God" only four times: 12:28, 19:24, 21:31, 43.
The Gospel of Luke records an event where Jesus responds to the population that lived near Simon Peter's house who believed in him after he had done his miraculous work there, but saw that he was leaving them:

"And when it was day, he departed and went into a desert place: and the people sought him, and came unto him, and stayed him, that he should not depart from them. And he said unto them, I must preach the kingdom of God to other cities also: for therefore [i.e., for this pupose] am I sent." (vss. 42-43)

The Greek word euangelion is often translated as the word “gospel.” In the Bible, this word is always used whenever it concerns the announcement of the reign of a new king. And in the New Testament, the Gospels themselves use this word or the phrase "good news" to summarize all of Jesus’ teachings. They say he went about “preaching the gospel [good news] of the kingdom [of God]” (Matt. 4:23).
There’s this beautiful poem in the Old Testament, and it’s in chapter 52 of the Book of Isaiah. The city of Jerusalem had just been destroyed by Babylon, a great kingdom in the North. Many of the inhabitants of the city have been sent away into exile, but a few remained in the city, and they’re left wondering, "What happened? Has our God abandoned us?" This was because Jerusalem was supposed to be the city where God would reign over the world to bring peace and blessing to everyone.
Now, Isaiah had been saying that Jerusalem’s destruction was a mess of Israel’s own making. They had turned away from their God, become corrupt, and so their city and their temple were destroyed. Everything seemed lost. But the poem goes on. There is a watchman on the city walls, and far out on the hills we see a messenger. He’s running towards the city. He’s running and he’s shouting, “Good news!” And Isaiah says, “How beautiful are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings [news]” (vs. 7a). The feet are beautiful because they’re carrying a beautiful message. And what’s the message? That despite Jerusalem’s destruction, Israel’s God still reigns as king, and that God's presence is going to one day return with His city, take up His throne, and bring peace. And the watchmen sing for joy because of the good news that their God still reigns (vs. 10).
Jesus saw himself as the messenger bringing the news that God reigns. Jesus also claimed to be the Son of man. This was Jesus' favorite self-designation, being used some 80 times in the Gospels. Notice, not just a son of man, but the Son of Man. Jesus was directing our attention to a vision described by the prophet Daniel:

"I saw in the night visions, and, behold, one like the Son of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him. And there was given him dominion, and glory, and a kingdom, that all people, nations, and languages, should serve him:"-Daniel 7:13-14a

At Jesus' trial, the Jewish high priest accused Jesus: "Art thou the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed [God]?" His answer left no room for doubt. "I am: and ye shall see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven." (Mark 14:61-62). Because Jesus' was rejected and killed for threatening the power the religious authorities had over the people, the consummation of God's kingdom with earth had been put on hold until all of Christ's enemies would be put under his feet after his ressurection and ascension.
But again, what is the kingdom of God? What does it look like exactly?
Well, the way that Jesus described God’s reign surprised everybody. I mean, think about it. A powerful, successful kingdom needs to be strong, able to impose its will, and able to defeat its enemies in physical combat. But Jesus said the greatest person in God’s kingdom was the weakest, the one who loves and who serves the poor (Matt. 23:11-12). He said you live under God’s reign when you respond to evil by loving your enemies, and forgiving them, and seeking peace (Matt. 5). To us, this is an upside-down kingdom. But to God, it's right-side up. This was what God had originally planned for us: a kingdom where God reigns in our hearts.

"Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."-John 3:3

Jesus was being quite literal here. You can’t see the kingdom until you’re born again and have the life of that kingdom. When you’re born again, you start 'seeing' differently. You see what others don’t see, you hear what others don’t hear, you know what others don’t know. And yet you may be physically in the same earthly location as they.
The kingdom of God is the totality of God’s influence that covers the world and heaven. It’s everywhere, but its manifestation isn’t everywhere. It manifests on earth wherever there are those who are born again and live as if God reigns in their hearts.
Before Jesus, John the Baptist announced to all people, “The kingdom of heaven is at hand!” (Matt. 3:1-2), as he saw a soon coming kingdom of God that would be ushered in by the Messiah. Notice that John the Baptist didn’t say that something “like” the kingdom would come and he didn’t say that the real kingdom might be thousands of years away. He said over and over that THE kingdom was at hand! Do you believe him? Did God inspire him to give a clear and accurate message or a mistaken one? If we dare to believe him, things might become surprisingly clear, simple and exceedingly optimistic.

"Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven."-Matthew 6:10

Jesus taught his followers of his generation to pray that God's kingdom come and that His will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Why pray for something that will just inevitably come by force, unless it was actually through our willing participation? That is, unless God's will is carried out through us "in earth, as it is in heaven"?

"Now after that John was put in prison, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel."-Mark 1:14-15

It's very telling that these are the very first words the Gospel of Mark chooses to record Jesus as saying.
The kingdom is NOT something to wait for. Jesus says the kingdom is NOT something visible, and it is NOT something in the sky. The Kingdom Jesus taught is a spiritual reality that comes into the world through us. Considering that Jesus even said the kingdom was in and among the Pharisees in Luke 17, which seems almost offensive to consider, perhaps it is like a spiritual seed that has been planted inside each of us, and that activating faith in God makes it grow.

"Then said he, Unto what is the kingdom of God like? and whereunto shall I resemble it? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and cast into his garden; and it grew, and waxed a great tree; and the fowls of the air lodged in the branches of it."-Luke 13:18-19

Jesus talked about the kingdom as if it would be a present reality, yet one that was growing in the world like a seed grows into a tree.

"And again he said, Whereunto shall I liken the kingdom of God? It is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened."-Luke 13:20-21

To Jesus, the kingdom was something growing in us like yeast through dough, increasing in effectiveness.

"For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost."-Romans 14:17
"For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power."-1 Corinthians 4:20

Paul says the kingdom isn’t something you taste or touch like physical food. It’s not even saying the right words. But rather the kingdom comes in the realities of righteousness, peace, joy and power that flavor our lives when we live empowered by the Spirit of God and God's Spirit in us.
Since Jesus the Messiah returned only 40 years after his earthly ministry, putting all enemies under his feet, the complete consummation of earth with the kingdom of heaven has finally taken place.
The kingdom of God has come, and it continues to come through us as believers. It makes progress like light shining into the world and dispelling the darkness.

"Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."-Matthew 5:14-16

meditation is not a practice that you do. Meditation is simply what you are. it takes no effort at all to be what you effortlessly are. your awareness never requires any maintenance nor any effort at all to simply be aware. you need to make an effort only so that you can come to the realization that it was always effortless the entire time. effortlessness is our most natural and unique divine quality but most are disconnected from their pure self and have adopted beLIEfs about who they are which is the source of their suffering. Very important to understand that this is not personal in any way shape or form. I have recently come to realize that God is very logical and runs the universe in a way that we all can unanimously agree on deep down in everyone's soul we all unanimously agree with God's way whether we want to or not simply because the spirit in all of us can't help but agree with it absolutely. The physical version of us can easily lie to itself but our spirit is incapable of it. If you suffer It could only be because you deserve to suffer. Although we have always been strategically and purposefully told by our society that "life is not fair!!!" Big surprise it turns out the society that man has wrought is ass backwards in every way shape and form. It's not the world that's upside down it's the society that makes it seem that way. The truth is the universe is perfectly Fair. It's just that humans are incredibly skilled at lying to themselves. So they are not aware of why they deserve to suffer. I have always been one who has been incapable of lying to myself. For example, most people are proud or feel arrogance and superiority because they possess some great quality. This is only possible because they are skilled at lying to themselves and ignore the fact that everything amazing about them could only be seen as a gift from God and any imperfection within us can only come from us as individual people. You have to be an amazing liar to your self to ever feel arrogance or any sense of superiority above others. We are all given our own unique special gifts from God and he did not give you these gifts expecting to be thanked or for any ulterior motive other than out of pure love. It is simply a fact that you unknowingly spit in the face of this great pure love if you pretend that anything good about you comes from you the individual person. Of course if it did come from you you would be worthy to feel Superior and dominate others but God is the living breathing proof of one who is Worthy to feel Superior and look down on anything and yet he doesn't do it. So if anybody who is unworthy dare to dominate, control, or even feel Superior to another they commit a great great sin against the universe itself. And their own soul will punish itself knowing full well it deserves it. I have always been painfully painfully aware of why I deserved whatever I deserved. And thanks to my special gift God allowed me to be the kind of person that is incapable of lying to themselves. I'm aware of the fact that Humility is the only thing I ever truly deserve to feel. we resist feeling this humility only because we resist our suffering. Suffering has never been our enemy just like the pain you feel when you touch a hot stove is not our enemy but our very important friend that you would be smart to listen to. Understanding this allows you to never again feel like suffering is something to complain about instead it becomes a grand opportunity for growth. Another gift that God gave me was an insatiable desire for growth that only an infinite and eternal God can satisfy. This is why my entire life God has never allowed me to feel Pride or arrogance without severely teaching me a lesson and putting me in my place. God has been drilling the lesson of humility into my head above all other lessons my entire life. Humility is the Foundation of all my spiritual growth. There's two other super important lessons he made sure I mastered before truly revealing himself to me. And I believe that if anyone were to fully learn just these three specific lessons he made sure I learned above all others then you too would be worthy of seeing his glory. You could be perfect in almost every way but haven't fully learned three fundamental things he simply cannot bless you the way he wants to because you simply wouldn't deserve it. And if you have many many flaws but you somehow are able to fully understand three specific things then you will earn so much of his love and respect that he will personally take care of your other flaws in time and put you on a fast track to your own unique perfection.you let go of control simply by realizing that you don't have it in the first place. the only control we have is whether or not we accept what ever comes and goes. the one who realizes that realizes control is overrated. it's much easier to flow in harmony and allow the universe to do all the work for you cuz it is you silly. effortlessness is our most natural quality but most are disconnected from their pure self and have adopted belief of who they are which is the source of their suffering. thus giving birth to the false sense of personhood. a mere illusion that we cling to and overlook our true selves which is always present but seemingly overshadowed by the mind. it's very rare for me to find one who can not only follow me in this but also speak profound truth on the matter. The self within me is the same self within you. to connect love and inspire those who also know that we are not two is pretty damn cool if you ask me. there is nothing that I enjoy doing more than this haha. You beautiful bums do you not realize 😍 it is your experience at any given moment you can verify that this awareness we all have an experience of is ever present and unchanging? although I love ABSOLUTELY ALL equally and unconditionally. the way that I feel for another being who Has also walked the narrow path and can stand next to me shoulder to shoulder or better yet way Beyond me in terms of wisdom never as a mere follower but as an equal goes far beyond any word that could possible exist. I will give you nothing. all I will do is ask the question and you yourself have to testify that this awareness that you KNOW that YOU are is ever present and unchanging. every single person on the planet if they would only investigate themselves would come to the exact same conclusion within themselves. and if they only knew the implications of such a profound discovery their minds would be blown Sky High. for the past 10 years I've been pondering one profound matter and it wasn't until about 7 years did I barely begin to really understand it's depths. and 3 years later I now find myself to just begin to walk the path of understanding. there is no end to this path I'm on. there is an infinite amount of growth ahead of me. my journey to reaching this point has been one drenched in failure and suffering. I have fallen in every single trap possible many many times until I eventually matured slowly but surely in my awareness of these traps and adjusted to not only not falling anymore traps but pass every single test that the universe constantly loves to throw at me with flying colors. I went through all that pain and suffering so that I may be a light too those Souls who attempt to walk a similar path as me. although in comparison to the whole of humanity only a handful will bare the fruits they were supposed to. I have a feeling it's going to be a pretty damn good handful. my instincts tell me I'm far from alone and that many have walked a similar narrow Road. I do not often come across those who have an ear to hear that which I speak. I've had to learn the hard way to stop giving precious jewelry to swine and instead save it for those Worthy even if it means waiting a long time to find such a being. The universe loves to remind me that it appreciates me greatly for trying my very best with great passion to teach another that which I have understood but it seems like it's only meant for those who have a level of discernment that is extremely Sharp enough to see through all the b******* but not throw away the precious baby with the bathwater. the truth that I have found is so simple that most humans will simply Overlook or not be able to sense the importance of it because they don't realize the beauty of the most simple truth that if you investigate enough transforms into the most profound and never-ending mystery. leave it to God who is the source of all paradoxes to hide the most profound thing in existence right under everybody's noses in plain sight making it seem so simple that the vast majority of all beings who have ever lived are incapable of appreciating it and instead live and die never tasting or knowing themselves. Its always been my sincere Love Of Truth that has kept me forever Rising through an ocean of darkness. all the pain and suffering that life throws at anyone is Beyond worth it if one can just manage to learn the specific lesson that accompanied them. to not learn the lesson would be a waste of that suffering. I am one who has not wasted a single drop of it. I'm just a humble servant of this grand life. there is no greater honor in life than to be a servant of it. the true definition of a king is one who dedicates their life in service of their precious kin their beloved brethren. all beings are equal and deserving of dignity and respect, this is simply common sense to one who knows themselves. A servant of nature is what I'm hoping they will call me when I'm dead. It's okay, it's never too late. unconditional love really does exist and You can see for yourself it's infinite. I AM one who effortlessly wields this all powerful force we call LOVE. an infinity love that encompasses all. a love so mighty that no one could ever hope to Escape it's grasp no matter how hard they try. You see... That is a rare gift. A love that knows no bounds.

Jk, no stolen work here. But what predictions would you make for OS? Here's a conversation I could forsee happening in the book! IF spoilers ahead!
Scenario 1: [Dain dragged violet to the sparring gym after she nearly brings down the entire dorm wing wirh her lightning. He lets her hit him again and again, until the lightning begins to recede and she can disconnect her emotions from the magic floodinf her.]
"You want the truth?" I snap at him. "I think..." I take a steadying breath, willing my pounding heart to calm before I start again. I check my shields to make sure the archive door that leads to Tairn is firmly shut.
"I think love can make you blind. Or, at least it makes you willing to turn a blind eye to so many things. And the worst part is that you don't even question it, you just... you love them so much that you make it work." Dain watched me quietly, not daring to say a word as the words poured out.
"I think once you give that part of yourself away, it's impossible to get back. You wake up one day, and all of a sudden you're not the same person you used to be. And there are days where I don't even know what side I'm on anymore. But he's everything to me, he's my gravity. I can't walk away from him, Dain any more than I could walk away from Tairn or Andarna. Gods help me, even if he drags me to hell I can't walk away from him. And it scares the living shit out of me, but..."
My voice trails off, wavering as I search for the words to convey how completely fucked I am. His dark eyes meet mine, and for a moment he's my Dain again. The boy who climbed trees with me, and caught lizards to slip into Brennan's bed. My Dain, before all of this shit happened and Basgaith changed that fundamental part of us.
"So, I guess that's a no to the private training lessons then?" He winks, his voice landing just flat of his usual teasing tone.
"Shut up, Aetos." I mutter. "You couldn't handle me on the mat, and you know it."
Scenario 2:
[Violet accidentally eavesdropping on dain and ridoc, out of sight. In this context, Xaden pulls a full new moon and left. Sgaeyl refuses to help track Xaden, and nobody knows where he is. It's assumed he's gone for good, after leaving Violet a dramatic "I'll always love you, but this is for the best" letter that's complete bs. She's obviously spending every spare second trying to track him down so she can tell him how dumb she's being, but everyone else thinks he's a lost cause and she should move on.]
"So, how long do you think she's gonna need before she's, you know..." his voice trails off.
"Before she's ready to date again?" Ridoc asks incredulously. I hear Dain clear his throat, and I'm about to throw myself around the corner and deck him when I hear a familiar simpering tone.
"Aetos, let's get one thing clear. One: Once you've had Xaden Riorson... there's no going back to just 'dating'. She's done. Finished. And after everything thats happened, I wouldnt be suprised if she gutted you like a fish if she ever so much as caught wind that you two were standing around discussing her availability like shes the next flock of sheep for your dragons to feed on, like theres not an entire WAR happening out there." I reel, in shock as Cat's normally haughty tone cuts in. If I didn't know any better, I'd almost think there was a hint of... respect in her tone.
"And Two: even if she did move on, it's never going to happen. Sgaeyl might have severed her connection with Xaden, but they're still bonded. So unless you're willing to fight all three of her dragons, to drag her across the continent? It's not going to happen."
I hear Dain mutter something unintelligible, and then the telltale scuff of boots as he storms away and I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding.
"What an asshole." Ridoc grunts.
"Agreed," Cat says, flicking her long braid over her shoulder as she pivots to saunter away.
"Oh, and Rider?" She throws over her shoulder. "If you so much as breathe a word about this conversation happening, I'll see to it that you're stationed on latrine duty for the rest of your life."
"It's Ridoc." He shoots back at her. "And-"
"Whatever, Ridick. Save it for someone who cares."
Scenario 3:
Dain: Breathes.
Everyone: Shut up.

Synopsis:
An engineer in another world—blending science and magic to achieve greatness in a world where skills and levels reign supreme.
—
Ethan was just a plain old engineer, but everything changed when he was reborn into a world of skills, levels, and magic. With his advanced knowledge far ahead of the time period he finds himself in, this new reincarnated life will be much different than his last, especially because he can construct, deconstruct, and reconstruct runes—something no one else can do.
But with royal politics, looming tax collectors, a mountain of debt, dungeon incursions, cults, and hostile fantasy races mixing together into a cocktail of bullshit that threatens to bury his dreams; Ethan must bridge the gap between steel and sorcery to grow stronger.
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Chapter 02

-1-
Roland cursed under his breath as he trudged down the muddy path toward Lord Theodore's manor. The late early morning sun cast long shadows, painting the desolate landscape in an even bleaker light.
Why was it only him who had to deal with Lord Theodore's bullshit? Just last night, Roland had to take care of all the complaints from the bar he'd found Lord Theodore at. Not to mention, he had to pay compensation to the wenches from his own personal funds.
And that wasn't even half the things he'd done yesterday alone.
After all, Lord Theodore was either busy abusing his power and bullying the people of the town, gambling, drinking, getting wasted with his face stuck up a prostitute, or doing his fourth favorite activity which, naturally, was a combination of the latter three. The man wasn't the brightest, but he wasn't quite dumb enough to avoid dealing with the problems the town of Holden faced.
Roland shook his head when he made it to the estate gates. As expected, there were guards, servants, and soldiers dashing left and right, but he was ignored. It was time to beg Lord Theodore to attend to his duties. None dared stop him, for he was a [Knight] appointed to Lord Theodore by his father—Lord Alexander Lockheart—and an acting advisor while said lord was being, well, his usual idiotic and selfish self.
So, Roland did what he had to; he moved past them all, and made for Lord Theodore's sleeping quarters where a handful of maids were all fussing about like hens with their heads chopped off.
Lord Theodore's quarters were not large by noble standards, but impressive all the same. Lavish and gaudy, just as he expected. Tapestries and drapes were hung up high all about the walls, and on the ground, there were expensive fur carpets.
After moving past the maids and butlers who were currently shuffling about like a horde of ants whose nest was threatened by a boar, he stopped before a silk drape that barred the way to Lord Theodore's bedchambers.
"Lord Theodore," he called.
Silence.
"Lord Theodore?"
Nothing.
Feeling a little annoyed, Roland frowned. "Lord Theodore," he called again. "With all due respect, are you presently attired?"
Nothing but a muffled sound came from the other side. Roland grimaced, and looked up at the ceiling in exasperation before dropping his hand and tugging the curtain aside. The inside of the bedchamber wasn't much to look at. Just your average nobleman's bedroom with a canopy bed big enough to fit twelve women side-by-side.
Most did, in fact, do just that.
A bookshelf stood on each wall, and at the far end was another drape that led to an enclosed balcony where he had the gall to throw his used clothes through during summer.
"Greetings, my lord," Roland said.
Lord Theodore, however, didn't answer.
He sat in front of a full-length mirror on the dresser. He had this listless sort of look, like he just didn't know how to deal with things. It wasn't an expression he'd ever seen on the man's face.
"Lord Theodore, are you well?" Roland inquired, a sliver of unease creeping into his voice. Though he found the young lord childish—given he was barely eighteen years old—Lord Theodore was his responsibility. He'd been Roland's responsibility when he was a little brat, and even now.
Theodore gave a startled response. "Ah, Roland? Yes, I am quite well."
"My lord, with all due respect, I implore you to be truthful. Has something transpired?"
Roland was anxious now. While he harbored no particular fondness for Lord Theodore, a sworn oath bound him to protect and care for the Baron. Granted, his master, Lord Theodore's own father, had afforded him considerable autonomy within Holden's borders—heck, he could even go as far as beating up Lord Theodore without consequences, if Roland deemed it reasonable and necessary—but his code of honor held oaths sacred. The son of the house Varian would rather lose an arm and his birthright than break a single [Oath] made.
"No, truly, I'm fine."
"If that is the case," Roland acknowledged with a curt nod, "then I bear news."
Lord Theodore furrowed his brow. "Good news, I trust?"
"I'm afraid not," Roland sighed. "Yesterday, our patrol in the Deadwoods encountered a band of brigands...…"
Lord Theodore's frown deepened. "While banditry is a common occurrence, it often heralds further troubles. Elaborate, Roland."
"Indeed, my lord," Roland continued, "these brigands weren't merely causing a ruckus. Apparently, they were engaged in combat with a rather formidable creature, vaguely humanoid in form."
Lord Theodore's posture stiffened. "Vaguely humanoid? Can you provide further details?"
Roland shook his head. "Limited information, I'm afraid. Only reports of unnatural speed reached our ears; it appeared to be engaged with wolves. Both fled upon human-contact, however."
Lord Theodore stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Did our men prevail against the brigands? And this creature—surely Captain..." he paused, searching for the man's name.
"Thomas," Roland supplied.
"Ah, yes, Thomas. Holden is geographically close to the Deadwoods. Sir Thomas wouldn't simply abandon such a threat near the bordertowns, would he? He and I may not see eye to eye on certain matters, but... surely he wouldn't leave such a threat unaddressed." Lord Theodore said.
Roland hesitated. "Captain Thomas chose to bypass us and directly inform the Crown of their discovery. He remained tight-lipped regarding specifics despite repeated inquiries."
Lord Theodore hummed thoughtfully. "If Thomas deems it worthy of the Crown's attention, then it surpasses our jurisdiction. Let's hope for their swift and decisive action. What of the brigands? Eliminated, I presume?"
"So it seems," Roland replied. "All but one met their demise. The sole survivor remains in a cell, though maddened beyond reason."
"I see. Is that for now?" Lord Theodore leaned back in his chair.
"Not quite, my lord. We've had a recent outbreak of the Blight, and we suspect it was an intentional spread. Unfortunately, the culprit remains unidentified."
Theodore's expression morphed into one of genuine shock. "Are these two seemingly unrelated issues connected, perhaps?" He asked.
"It appears to be the case, my lord." A sigh escaped Roland's lips. The Blight—a magical sickness that eats away at your life force, causes lethargy, nausea, and kills you, all while your body radiates a pervasive foul odor. It had recently taken hold on a few people of Holden. Why or how, Roland did not know.
"Those afflicted have been quarantined in a secure location far from Holden to prevent further contagion. Our physicians are doing their utmost to manage them. However, several have died already, and the remaining victims exhibit signs of feral behavior—meaning, they have already entered the late stage, I'm afraid. It's become imperative that they remain under quarantine, lest they either bite other humans—given there's hunger for raw flesh in the late stage—or they could infect the crops, causing them to decay. Consequently, the farmers, understandably anxious, have retreated into their homes."
They were likely waiting for their lord, incompetent as he may be, to deal with the situation. Yet, he had his hand up a wench's skirt more than actually trying to fix the issues... What can I do with him? Roland sighed.
Lord Theodore rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Roland."
"Yes, my lord?"
"Do you think the Merchant Guild would let me have another loan?"
Roland's lips thinned into a line, but he shook his head. "Regrettably, my lord, they would not. The Merchants' Guild has been cautious lately. There was this whole unpleasant affair with a prominent [Merchant Lord] named Bertram, you might know the name. Used to flaunt more gold jewelry than some of the highborn nobles. Turns out, he was embezzling.
"Apparently, he manipulated the Guild's books for months. Inflated trade contracts with nonexistent suppliers from faraway lands, siphoned off the extra profit into his own pockets. Clever, gotta give him that. Even forged shipping manifests to keep it all looking legit.
"Nasty business, that. Apparently, the esteemed Lord Bertram decided a little vacation was in order after everything, and wouldn't you know it, he packed a rather hefty sum from the Guild's coffers along for the ride as well. We're talking a near royal-wedding-sized dowry here, my lord. Vanished, all of it.
"The details are still murky, but rumor has it Bertram might have gotten tangled with pirates operating from the Broken Isles. One of the [Pirate Kings], perhaps—or most likely. So, the Merchants' Guild has been refraining from giving out loans. And, my apologies to say this, my lord, but you're a high-risk individual, and you already have quite the debt with them... They wouldn't want to give more."
Lord Theodore already had a mountain of debt on his name... The interest rate was more than what Lord Theodore could pay off even if the crops did better than planned. Given that the Adventurers' Guild of this sector had been rather short on manpower lately due to a dungeon incursion in the town, Corinth, lying beside theirs and given that Lord Theodore had a tendency for tax evasion and then laundering… Yeah, they were royally fucked. Even if in this situation, Lord Theodore wanted a loan for himself... Roland just gave up. Maybe it was time to return to his master, Lord Theodore's father, and just ask him to appoint him somewhere else—he couldn't deal with this scumbag anymore, not in his current state.
"I see, they wouldn't. Not surprising. It seems I'm going to have to hire a [Necromancer] by my lonesome."
Roland blinked. "That's..." a shock, Roland stopped himself from saying. [Necromancers] cost a hefty sum, and given that Lord Theodore was already under debt and likely the financial situation of Holden was anything but optimal, hiring a [Necromancer] would've put a huge dent in Holden's already meager reserves. However, Roland hadn't imagined, not in his wildest dreams, that Lord Theodore would be employing one by his lonesome.
Throughout his life, Roland had known this man to not even spare a thought to anything that wasn't his immediate self-gratification, or his amusement and satisfaction. How was the wastrel noble suddenly going to change?
"My lord, my apologies for asking, but why do you require a [Necromancer's] assistance?" Roland finally asked, schooling his shocked expression.
"Oh, I have some... theories regarding the Blight." Lord Theodore grinned. "And a [Necromancer] might just be someone who we need in order to solve this problem once and for all."
Roland was shocked to his core, once more. "But, my lord, the treatment for the Blight isn't something common folk can afford? So, how...?"
"Nonsense, Roland. Forget that rudimentary concoction they peddle as a cure. I envision a more... permanent solution. Issue a commission at the Adventurers' Guild—a [Necromancer] or perhaps a [Witch], their talents are equally suited for this task."
"Yes, my lord." Roland bowed, failing to comprehend what Lord Theodore was planning on doing.
-2-
When Roland left, Ethan found it easier to relax. The stiff, aristocratic manners these people employed were rather annoying to bear with. No, they were rather hard to imitate, more accurately. Because despite his efforts, he'd still found it hard to match their ways, but it was doable. Not good enough, yet, but doable.
"How should I, going forward, act, then?" he muttered. "Because if I've understood a single thing, it is this: Theo's character as I know it now will ruin any chance of me, well, earning anything, be that respect, wealth, power, or all three. Should I continue as him, then, or completely overhaul Theodore's character and pretend it's some epiphany? A spiritual enlightenment, perhaps?"
Ethan shook his head. Whatever it may be, he wasn't planning on being like Theo. Let's go with a gradual change in mannerism.
First, however, he needed to deal with the Blight issue. Which would be easily dealt with—all he had to do was pay the [Necromancer], or [Witch], from his own pouch. Then, he needed to figure out this town's financial status and everything else in order to organize a working infrastructure and create new financial opportunities. Afterwards, he could move onto his 'character', if that is indeed what his situation required. There's a lot to do.
Before everything, however, a bath.
After all, he reeked of sweat and alcohol, among other not-so pleasant scents.
...
It took no more than a few minutes for a handful of servants to prepare the bath. Hot water steamed inside the spacious tub as soap bubbles glistened—soap that was far too expensive for the common folk. Despite being a luxury, its quality was arguably trash. Regardless, this was all the people had in this world. A strong scent of lavender permeated the air and tickled his nose as he undressed. A few maids had prepared for his comfort and placed a silken bathrobe alongside a set of towels on a small table near the bathtub before he'd dismissed them, ordering them to inform the kitchen staff that he would like his meal soon.
Ethan relaxed his shoulders, took the robe with one hand, and tossed it carelessly nearby. It was fine silk. Ethan shook his head before proceeding with an easy grace into the water. It was hot. Yet, Ethan felt rather cold, despite the heat. It helped him relax, and with it, the stiff persona that was Lord Theodore faded.
Ethan sank deeper, letting his long blond locks loose. A quick thought made him bring his hand forward. What if... he could make a fire? Just a little one, like a candle flame. How cool would that be? He focused, willing a tiny spark to appear on his fingertip. Nothing. Just a sputter and a fizzle.
"Hmm," he mumbled, undeterred. "Maybe I need to practice."
He doubted it was just understanding. After all, the skill [Elemental Spells] had given him the barest hints of the basics of how to create a basic spark of flame. He lacked control over mana. [Magic Perception] allowed him to view his mana—flowing, fast-moving streams and spiraling, coiling vortexes. It was chaotic; it was a mess! Maybe if he calmed it down, he could actually make something happen?
Easier said than done, he quickly learned. When he moved it, it took no less effort than bending metal with brute force. The feeling was there, and the will, too. Just the act of 'moving' it alone was a herculean effort. It seemed nigh impossible.
Maybe I'm doing it wrong?
Humming, Ethan looked through the snippets of memories he'd gotten from Theodore. The memories, he found, weren't entirely useless; as his mind drifted back and forth from those flashes, he did remember something Theodore had seen last night... There! A memory from last night—a drunk mage at the bar, showing off with a fireball for some girl who didn't seem too impressed.
"Let's see how that trick works," Ethan grinned.
With [Magic Perception], he saw how the spell flowed. The "spell" was, in a way, forced outwards into reality through the use of symbols he quickly recognized as runes—at least that was what he assumed after seeing the fireball.
Ethan could easily recall the shape of the rune that'd appeared before the fire took form on top of the mage's hand.
I'm pretty sure it's not possible to view runes. I assume, at least, from what little fragments of memories I got from Theo. Anyway, let's move my mana in the shape, then.
He imagined the shape on top of his hand and willed the mana to pour into it. Soon, rune motes started forming out of thin air, ripping into reality. Forming into a shape he willed, a rune burned brightly and loudly atop his palm. As he drew his hand forward, flames burst into life, flickering before fizzling out.
[Basic Magic Script] — Lvl 1 -> Lvl 2!
Congratulations! You have gained skill: [Basic Rune Creation]!
"Whoa." Ethan stared at his hand, a wide grin splitting his face. So that's how it works! Runes, huh? That's awesome! Ethan felt like a child again. He couldn't wait to try again, this time with a smaller flame, as it appeared that a fireball was far too much for his lacking skill and control. Magic... it was epic stuff!
Before that, however, he looked at the new skill he'd gained.
~Basic Rune Creation – Level 1~
Type: Active
Effect: You have grasped the fundamental concept of using runes to channel and shape your mana for basic magical effects. The Connection between two of your skill—[Magic Perception] and [Basic Magic Script]—has resulted in the creation of a new skill. You can now create simple runes that allow for the manipulation of elemental energy on a small scale. As your skill level increases, you will be able to create more complex runes, allowing for more powerful and versatile spells. You may also learn to combine runes for even greater magical effects.
Ethan stared. Reading the description was a quick matter of concentration. It took him by surprise, however, when he realized it. Rune creation? Huh. Does that mean I can create anything? The thought alone was exciting. What about rune motes? Rune motes were fragments of runes, combining certain fragments could result in a full rune. I saw them congregating into the shape of a rune, but is it possible to just create rune motes and not a full rune? I should try.
Regardless of his thoughts, it was creation—
—and Ethan loved creation. Even as a child, he had never gotten tired of tinkering with things. He still recalled the time he'd gotten his first Lego set. Just putting random pieces together with no thought for a bigger picture—he'd loved that. He'd loved doing all sorts of stuff with Legos, creating different castles or other complex structures, but it was building something completely random and ridiculous, yet unique nonetheless, which gave him the most sense of satisfaction. It was fun. It was a hobby—a hobby that ignited in him a fire of passion for innovation.
It was then the thought of being a civil engineer had sprung up in his mind. To put it simply, a civil engineer is responsible for planning, designing, and constructing buildings. Though, that was just a general term. Ethan would have been perfectly happy had he chosen that. Unfortunately, his father had wanted him to become a boxer, instead.
The man wanted to become one himself in his prime, but due to health issues, he'd quit right before making it to a big league. He'd hoped his son would achieve what he couldn't and bring victory for the family. Even though Ethan hadn't exactly planned boxing as his future, but who could refuse the pressure his old man put on him? Especially when he'd been just a little boy?
It was another matter entirely that Ethan fell in love with boxing, too, as it made him feel alive. The sensation of a punching bag slamming against his fists? Nothing quite made his blood boil like that.
And oh, fighting in the ring. There was just something about the sport Ethan couldn't resist.
Something about creation, fighting, and experiencing a bit of both, had Ethan wishing he could try the other options that lay in front of him now.
Could he make a real spaceship, in this world?
It sounded silly as fuck and he knew it. Nonetheless, the temptation was still there, hovering and nagging at the edge of his mind, as ridiculous as his previous thoughts might have been.
Spaceships are cool, dammit.
That thought suddenly gave Ethan pause. "Let's just return to practice."
This time, fire flickered atop his fingertips for a second longer.
Another second was added on top of that after his third try.
The light was dim. However, it did mean something: improvement.
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 1 -> Lvl 2!
Grinning like an idiot, Ethan sank deeper into the hot bath water and brought his other hand up to repeat the exercise for the next half an hour or so, occasionally reading a notification that would come every now and then.
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 2 -> Lvl 3!
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 3 -> Lvl 4!
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 4 -> Lvl 5!
But no matter what, he couldn't get it to level up to level 6, nor could he level up [Basic Magic Script] from level 2 to 3.
Why not, though? I'm doing—
"Don't rush," he chided himself. "Your control is pitiful, shaping is trash, and your spellcasting is akin to tossing stones into the sea without even knowing how to make it bounce—guesswork is all you are, but it's a good start, I suppose."
As he set a handful of candle-like flames afloat on all five of his fingers, his lips quirked into a wide smirk. It was only a party trick. For now, that is. I need to find more about magic and learn. I've been winging it.
That was true; he didn't understand anything about magic. All he'd done so far was try to emulate the rune he'd seen in the memory snippet through the help of [Magic Perception] and cast a few party tricks. Was that impressive? He had literally no comparison to base off of, thus why he knew he needed to learn more.
Theodore's memories proved to be useless in this regard, too. His father hadn't found him worthy enough to be assigned a mage as a tutor. Theodore was a disappointment through and through, and that's why he'd been sent to rule the bordertowns.
He could cast the spell, yes, but he didn't understand the underlying concepts that fueled the magic or what the process was.
-3-
Ethan descended down the stairs that would lead him to the dining room where breakfast had already been laid out for him. Two maids were present as well. It was a feast of the likes he'd only ever read in fairy tales. Fried, scrambled, boiled eggs. Different shapes, sizes, and cuts. Cakes and pies in varying quantities and sizes. Grilled meat, smoked and salted. How could he ever eat everything alone?
Ethan exhaled and then dove in; however, he still maintained decorum as it was imperative to do so given that he was a noble now. Regardless, once done, he made it to the meeting room given that he had some people to meet today.
"Barely breaking even," Ethan muttered, flicking the parchment in his hand. He frowned at the financial situation of Holden, the town he was in charge of. The bordertowns consisted of a series of towns lying on the periphery of the borders. Each town was a barony in name, and nobles—especially troublesome nobles—were often sent here to practice ruling and to make them accustomed to how the common folk lived, so they could empathize with the people they ruled.
With how many bandits the region had had lately, the Blight, debt, tax, and interest that'd ramped up, Ethan's current situation was mind-fucking at best and a keg waiting to explode at worst.
I don't want to deal with Theo's issues.
Not only was this whole situation something Ethan did not want in the slightest, a whole can of worms that were Theo's problems was thrust into his hands. Ethan had held no fantasies of getting isekai'd. That was suicide in his books. He'd have been more than happy to die and meet oblivion. But now that he was here…
Leaning back into his chair, Ethan rubbed his eyes. Yeah, he needed to deal with everything and make the best of his situation to live a comfortable life. When Roland returned with a man in tow, Ethan hummed.
The man was young, younger than Roland, even. Black hair and sharp green eyes. He held himself high with confidence and Ethan recognized him instantly. Isn't he that mage from the bar?
"My lord," Roland bowed. "I have brought a [Necromancer] as per your command."
The [Necromancer] bowed and with a thin smile said, "Pleased to be at your service, my lord. The name's Jack."
Hm. So he wasn't a mage but a [Necromancer].
"Likewise," Ethan replied with a nod, then leaned forward, smiling. "Say, Jack, would you like to be part of a business opportunity?
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For example, you want justice towards the [terrorist organization] that has killed [insert name here] but that victim is your loved one, they will assassinate anyone regardless if that person has the "best" security in the world, even to go as far killing the judge and jury, putting their lives at stake, as they'll be killed before a trial even starts, so these people won't be in prison.
Simply going to the police and FBI saying that eg. "I5I5 has killed my loved one!" aint going to work, as you will also put the lives of the officers or agents at high risk of being prey themselves, as the terrorists are fully aware of snitches and law enforcement, plus a judge will be too scared to even confront these type of perpetrators in court even though they have murdered somebody.
Simply bragging about it the same way how media discusses a criminal who has committed murder, won't really do anything other than slander an I5I5-like organization, they will remain unaffected as they are too powerful for such means, they will laugh if you decided to press charges towards them for a criminal trial, as you know... that will only end up with the judge and jury dead.
You still want justice as in putting the perpetrators in prison but they are strong as I5I5 due to them having stolen or captured military hardware, plus they can blow up the prison and courthouse killing everybody inside indiscriminately, to them: they remain indifferent if you are a lawyer, prosecutor, cop, judge, juror, prisoner or a private citizen.
There will also be issues with jurisdiction, that organization is based overseas while the murder took place within your home country of residence done by a conspirator paid by these bad actors on their behalf, so you only caught a scapegoat (now incarcerated) but the true perpetrators are residing elsewhere, they also deny any responsibility as a lie, but the truth is that they did endorse the crime.
Just like what happened in France, the perpetrator of the bombing was only a scapegoat but the real masterminds 'claimed' responsibility but still denied it, while they are based outside the jurisdiction from where the crime took place, so at the end the victims did not get true justice as the real perpetrators basically gottten away with murder due to them living in another country.
Even if you have changed your identity or stayed in hiding, it does not matter, as they can still find you or find the people you are closely associated to, then torture them, using them as collateral to show yourself, the cops will not risk or dare to intervene as their loved ones too will be subjected to the same fate, so how are you doing to get them arrested if the bad actors are this evil?
I guess the cloest thing to it is what happened to a former Saudi national turned to the most wanted fugitive in the world, the police have no stance on this since that guy lived on the other side of the planet in Pakistan, it was not policemen who caught him, it was the SEALs in the role akin to SWAT who shot him there, but that doesn't disband the terrorist organization as it is still around after his death.
A drone strike will only kill ONE leader of that group but won't make the terrorist organization defunct, as they can just literally appoint a new leader right after, the cycle continues never going to end. If you are a private citizen who has become a victim of either being kidnapped, murdered, or tortured by these people in a foreign country you don't recognize, how can the police help you there?
It does not matter if they live in a fortress in witness protection, as an organization equivalent to I5I5 or 4L-Q43DA does not simply care at all if you are in police protection or have the most secure escort. Let's say that everyone who hates the crimes these bad actors commit (as they are disturbing) are now at risk of being kidnapped, tortured or murdered for simply criticizing and shaming them.
You've resorted to hiring a bounty hunter to assassinate the leader of the [terrorist organization] but again, you will put the family of that bounty hunter at risk as the terrorists assassinate and torture those who dare to confront them for their crimes, even journalists have been killed by these bad actors as they know what the implications will be, regardless of how much money you've paid them.
There is literally nothing you can do, if you don't want to risk becoming prey towards these people, so you have no choice but to live with the fact they will justs get away with it, even though it hurts that justice won't be served, as pursuing justice will only cause more bloodshed and kill others at the end, so is it really worth it?

[In no way is this post involved with the actual lore of APEX LEGENDS]

Wulfstan (Wolf-sh-t-ion)

Wolfkin Seeker
Photo(s)
[WIP]
Appearance/Description

• Appearance
  • Fur Colors: Navy, White, Light Grey
  • Accessories: Maroon Blindfold (bandana)
  • Build: Athletic and muscular, with a lean and agile frame
  • Clothing/Armor: Light Tactical gear on their hips and upper arms, Tactical pants, Crop-top sweatshirt.
• Description
  • Real Name: Úlfur
  • Age: 17
  • Home World: Tara (Earth)
  • Class: Recon
  • Tactical Ability: Predator’s Mark
  • Passive Ability: Echo Sense
  • Ultimate Ability: Howl of the Wild

Abilities

• Passive: Echo Sense
  • Úlfur’s heightened hearing allows him to detect enemies through sound waves. When standing still or moving slowly, he can hear enemy footsteps and actions (like reloading, etc.) from a greater distance. Visual indicators appear on his HUD to represent these sounds.
• Tactical (Q): Predator’s Mark
  • Úlfur throws a device that emits a high-pitched sound, which he can track using his enhanced hearing. This device reveals the location of enemies within a certain radius, marking them for a short duration. Enemies marked by the device have their footsteps temporarily louder for Úlfur.
• Ult (Ultimate): Howl of the Wild
  • Úlfur emits a powerful howl that boosts his and his allies’ senses. For a limited time, all allies within a certain range gain increased movement speed, heightened hearing (detecting nearby enemies more easily), and a small health regeneration boost. Enemies within range of the howl are temporarily disoriented, experiencing a ringing sound that affects their ability to hear other sounds accurately.

Playstyle

• Úlfur is best played as a recon or support legend, using their abilities to gather information and provide tactical advantages to their team. Their Echo Sense and Predator’s Mark make them excellent at tracking and ambushing enemies, while Howl of the Wild provides significant benefits in team fights and crucial moments.

Backstory
Early Life on Tara
Wulfstan, originally named Úlfur, was raised on Earth, known to most as Tara. From a young age, Úlfur was immersed in the rich history and traditions of their ancestors, learning about the legacy of warriors and the primal instincts that defined their lineage. Growing up in a small, rural community, they enjoyed a simple life, surrounded by nature and family.
Abduction and Experimentation
At the age of 13, Úlfur’s life took a dramatic and devastating turn. They were abducted by operatives working for a clandestine branch of the IMC and ARES Division, who saw in them the potential to create a new breed of soldier. Úlfur was taken to a secret facility where they were subjected to intense genetic and cybernetic experiments aimed at merging human intelligence with the physical prowess and primal instincts of a wolf.
The transformation was grueling and painful, both physically and emotionally. Over time, Úlfur's physiology changed, turning them into an anthropomorphic wolf with navy, white, and light gray fur. These experiments endowed them with heightened senses and superior physical abilities, but at a great personal cost. The process left them blinded, a disability they learned to compensate for with their enhanced hearing and smell.
Escape and Survival
Despite the rigorous control and constant surveillance, Úlfur's spirit remained unbroken. They planned and executed a daring escape from the facility, using their newfound abilities to evade capture. Fleeing into the wilderness, Úlfur found themselves alone in a world that was both familiar and alien.
Now calling themselves Wulfstan, a Norse name translated to some Old English language, roamed the wilds of Tara, learning to survive and thrive despite their blindness. The maroon blindfold they wore became a symbol of their resilience and a reminder of the family and life they were forced to leave behind.
Encounter with Blisk
During their travels, Úlfur's extraordinary abilities and combat skills did not go unnoticed. Kuben Blisk, a legendary figure in the Apex Games and a former high-ranking officer of the IMC, heard rumors of a blind wolf warrior with unparalleled instincts. Intrigued, Blisk tracked down Úlfur, observing them in a skirmish against a group of mercenaries.
Impressed by their prowess and potential, Blisk approached Úlfur with an invitation to join the Apex Games. Blisk saw in Úlfur not only a formidable competitor but also a powerful symbol of defiance against the ARES Division’s unethical experiments. For Úlfur, the invitation was an opportunity to confront their past, seek justice, and carve out a new path for themselves.
Entry into the Apex Games
At 17, Úlfur accepted Blisk's invitation and entered the Apex Games. Armed with their enhanced senses and physical capabilities, Úlfur quickly became a standout competitor. Their abilities, such as Echo Sense and Predator’s Mark, made them a lethal tracker and hunter in the arena. Their ultimate ability, Howl of the Wild, boosted the senses and movement speed of their allies, making them an invaluable asset to any team.
Legacy
Úlfur’s participation in the Apex Games is a testament to their indomitable will and resilience. They stand as a symbol of resistance against the ARES Division's unethical experiments and a beacon of hope for those who have been wronged. Through their actions in the arena, Úlfur honors their past, embraces their true identity, and paves the way for a future where they can confront and overcome the shadows of their origins.

Heirloom

"Lúpína Fang"
(Loo-fean-ya Fang)
Photo(s)
[WIP]
Description:
The Lúpína Fang is a uniquely crafted weapon that embodies Úlfur's primal heritage and their journey from a lab experiment to a formidable warrior in the Apex Games. The weapon is a combination of a ceremonial dagger and a combat-ready tool, designed to be both functional and symbolic.
Appearance:

• Blade: The 32 in. blade of the Lúpína Fang is sleek and slightly curved, resembling the fang of a wolf. It's made of a high-tech alloy that shimmers with a faint, almost ethereal glow, suggesting advanced materials and craftsmanship.
• Hilt: The hilt is wrapped in a dark, weathered leather that provides a secure grip. Intricate carvings of tribal symbols and wolf motifs adorn the hilt, reflecting Úlfur's cultural heritage.
• Guard: The guard is shaped like a wolf's head, with the eyes set with small, glowing gemstones that pulse with a soft light, giving the impression that the weapon is almost alive.
• Pammol: Attached to the hilt is a small charm made of feathers and beads, reminiscent of Úlfur's tribal roots. The charm serves as both a decorative element and a reminder of Úlfur's past and the journey they've undertaken.

Background:
The Lúpína Fang was not just a weapon forged in a smithy, but a culmination of Úlfur's transformation and the battles they have fought both within and outside themselves.
After escaping the IMC and ARES Division's labs, Úlfur found refuge among the tribes of Tara. It was there that they first heard the legend of the Lúpína Fang, a sacred weapon said to hold the spirit of the wolves and imbue its bearer with unparalleled strength and instinct. Seeing it as a symbol of their own transformation and struggle, Úlfur sought out the tribe's elders, who agreed to craft the weapon as a rite of passage and symbol of acceptance into the community.
The creation of the Lúpína Fang was a deeply personal and spiritual process. Úlfur participated in its forging, infusing it with their essence and memories of their fallen comrades. The weapon was tempered in the sacred fires of the tribe, a ritual that was said to awaken the primal spirits within it.
In the Apex Games, the Lúpína Fang is more than just a weapon. It's a testament to Úlfur's resilience, a reminder of their past, and a symbol of their enduring quest for truth and justice. Wielding it in battle, Úlfur channels their primal instincts and the spirit of the wolves, becoming an unstoppable force in the arena.

Anyone noticed how the locals tend to be basically empty words on delivery of a promise or have 100 million reasons/ excuses ... Right up to outright lies ..but dare to call them out on it and you see the truth immediately.